#but you also try; so I'll give you that
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#brocedes#like niki lauda had to try multiple times to literally parent trap them to try and get them on speaking terms it never worked#because one would arrive they'd see the other and the other would leave#& if i remember correctly the garage crew would swap around from race to race as a like see we aren't favouring anybody gesture 😭#and thats no shade to nico because it was both of them contributing to that environment#his comment re max is just making me laugh#like if i was a part of the pr/media team - which is a part of the degree I'm working on irl - at merc that year i would've lost the plot#like its insane reflecting on it nearly a decade later but the poor souls just trying to do their job in the eye of that storm#truly gods strongest soldiers#ngl the professional comment irks me a bit because its not like max is engaging in inappropriate work place behaviour#he's engaging in another aspect of racing that his involvement raises awareness of & that makes racing more accessible#& we all know how inaccessible not only getting into racing is but also to continue to pursue the further along you go#theres so many stories of 1 sibling giving up racing so the other can keep going because the family can't afford for them both to race#its a huge financial strain & we only see a handful of drivers talk about that & try to do something to change it#and nicos fellow sky sports commentators are routinely unprofessional on so many levels#additionally max had a lot of valid reasons to be annoyed at his team today#but alas he's not english so he's ungrateful#i hate that drivers can't criticise their teams or car without immediately being branded as bratty & ungrateful#ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR JOB IS TO GIVE FEEDBACK#you can see the double standards from sky when say Lando or George have complaints with their team/car v the likes of Max and Yuki#especially Yuki my god the things i would do to get the British media to leave him alone#this was a jokey post at one point and then became a rant whoops lmao#I'll leave it that before i write an actual essay here 😭✋️
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Genuine question, if you are voting for Biden why not just vote independent? Biden is not going to win regardless. Why not just skip the vote for genocide and vote for someone that actually cares about Palestinians
Because I live in Florida, which is a powerful swing state. Giving my vote to anyone other than the person who has the best chance at beating Trump is throwing it away. If Trump dies, I'll vote someone else. If Biden dies, I'll vote someone else. If it seems like everyone in the world has finally agreed on a unanimous third party vote by november, I'll vote someone else. Anything can happen before then, and my vote isn't set in stone.
Until then, the majority of undecided voters are going to vote Biden. There's a lot more people in Florida who are tired of the Trump train than you think. They're seeing his trials, his lies, and they're tired. There are a lot of students in Florida who are now eligible to vote. 4 years worth of 18 year olds who all have tik tok and are very much against all the bullshit in the world. And they all understand how the electoral college works. They know their votes could turn Florida blue.
America does not run on Popular vote, it runs on the electoral college. This means that every US state gets a certain number of votes out of 538 total. Some states, like Wyoming, get 3 votes. That means that my state, Florida, effectively gets 30 votes out of the 270 needed to win the presidency. But, here's the catch, ALL of those votes can only go to ONE candidate. (There are exceptions in 2 states, Nebraska and Maine.) If Trump gets more votes than any other single candidate in Florida, all 30 votes go to Trump.
It's called a swing state for a reason, because it can swing the race heavily in one candidates favor. Only Texas and Califorina get more votes at 40 and 54, respectively.
If all the Republicans in Florida vote for Trump, but all the Democrats and Independents are voting for people other than the person on the ballot, Trump will still get 30 votes. Even if some Republicans vote Biden, if everyone else is writing different candidates in, when everything is tallied, Trump could still win.
Imagine you have 270 red delicious apples, 200 Green apples, 38 yellow apples, and 30 macintosh apples. There are still more Red Delicious apples than any other kind, so Red Delicious gets the Presidency. Luckily, people in Florida who liked Red Delicious apples last year are getting tired and might pick Green apples instead this time. They are almost guaranteed to not pick a golden or macintosh apple, though.
This is what happened in 2016 that allowed Trump to win when he LOST to Hillary Clinton for the popular vote. More electoral college votes went to Trump than they did to any other person. From person to person, more Americans as a whole voted for Hillary. It's all about where you live physically.
This is the reason why I'm voting for Biden at the moment. If things change, I'll happily change too!
And Obviously I don't support Genocide. My point is that realistically speaking, Trump has flat out said to just "finish them" already, so it's not out there to assume he will push to accelerate this genocide using nuclear retaliation. I'm not trying to fear monger, I'm saying this system is broken, and they're lying to you about how it works in order to take advantage of your ignorance. Whoever gets the most votes win? Not exactly, but if you don't bother to look any closer, you'll never know you were playing a rigged game from the start.
Vote however you need to for your state. But understand where your vote is going. One vote is the difference between 30 and 3 electoral votes.
#long post#ugly election politics#i'll try and keep that tag from now on#also im not perfect so feel free to fact check me on this but I cant afford to vote for who I actually agree with this time.#if you were to ask me whos policies im not repulsed by i couldnt give you an answer. AOC feels like the least scummy but also the least#least experience#maybe she'll officially step up in her birthday. thats when she turns 35 and is eligible for candidacy. idk#4 more months and anything can happen
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Prompt: Imagine you get isekaied in Our Life. Only thing is that you wake up as a child and remember everything. You can only save at this point but you can still access the save and load menu and see your previous runs.
Meanwhile your precious neighbor is slowly becoming self aware, getting deja vu with every passing second- as if this has all happened before...
A/N: A few days after I posted this- a few other thoughts came to mind- SO HERE IS MY ATTEMPT AT VOCALIZING THEM
You’re keenly aware of how small and tiny you are the moment you wake up.
For the first few days, you started to acclimate to…the family home.
It wasn’t YOUR family though. It never was. It was MC’s. Not your’s.
You could project all you wanted onto MC but it was never your family or your life to experience. It was theirs.
Even so, you quickly found yourself missing the life you were used to. More specifically:
The cuisine.
It was hard not to draw suspicion to the fact that you were craving different food genres aside from Mom’s Pamela’s mac and cheese and cheeseburgers.
Ma’s Noelani’s Hawaiian food helped quite a bit to hold you over as you started to ponder over how to approach it.
Kind of hard to bring it up to your MC’s parents that you wanted Asian/Middle eastern/Indian/Pakistani/Mexican/etc food when there was none of that for miles around
For the time being, you had to quietly hint and nudge their thoughts into that direction but not enough to make them suspicious. Noelani obviously had her suspicions about Cove getting into the house from Step 2-3 but never brought it up once. From what you could tell, she was scary observant
Another issue was how clumsy your new body was.
Your mind might be able to remember how to do everyday tasks like writing and such but this tiny body didn’t have the muscle memory to match it
Much to Liz’s dismay, you spent quite a bit of your time forcing your hands and legs to train to do things your adult body could do in a snap
Time wise- technology was a huge sucker punch. It made you feel bad for taking your own devices for granted.
That being said, self learning everything was going to be hard without a phone or computer on hand, especially knowing that you’d have to go through the cursed education system all over again- but most likely much harder
There had to be a reason older folk complained about it, right?...
Your MC’s birthday was the same as your own, just that the birth year is 1997. That being said, the current year was 2006… Funny. You were only two in 2006…
…
Back to self learning, you tried to practice what you considered basic math long after everyone had fallen asleep
Usually, your day was filled with entertaining Shiloh and Liz, playing in the park or going along with whatever Liz said. Judging by the giant for sale sign across the street and the date, you figured out that you got isekaied roughly at least a month or two before Cove and Mr. Holden would move in.
Who knew how that would go now that you weren’t subjected to just three choices?
Even after playing around, your body was exhausted and your baby mind was just as pooped out.
The first few days you would wake up early as children do and tried doing your math and remembering as much as you could at that time
Yeah, Liz nearly gave you a heart attack after she barged in and you had to play it off as you scribbling absolute nonsense cause you were bored
After that near collision, you changed your prep time to being at night. Sure, you woke up to Liz shaking you and not getting enough sleep in the morning, but you needed to refresh your memory the best you could
You couldn’t do it every night though and did your best to keep some sort of schedule so you wouldn’t forget - and worry your MC’s moms
They noticed the first few times of how sleepy you’d be when you’d wake up later than usual - granted if Liz didn’t wake you up - and a few nights after, you nearly got caught right in the middle of your review.
Pam was more sneaky than Noelani, so you should’ve seen this coming- but even so, you had everything spread out on your rug when you just barely heard her footsteps come to your MC’s door
You had enough time to shove everything underneath your bed - your room was messy enough but better safe than sorry - and quickly dive under the covers before you heard your door open with the softest of clicks
She was around for a good while before you heard the door close again but you didn’t relax until you were sure her footsteps went back to the master bedroom
After that, you were much more careful about how long you spent studying and when. You haven’t been caught since.
Occasionally, you’d have to sneak in your MC’s parent’s room to grab any books that you needed. Good thing Noelani was a book nerd.
You did have to be careful about your self learning- you didn’t want them getting any suspicions that their kid was suddenly…different out of nowhere.
You had no idea what MC was like as a kid before the events of Our Life so you tried your best to piece together what you could
Speaking of, there were a bunch of things you quickly realized about Our Life, one of which is that game didn’t go over nearly everything that MC went through, let alone before Cove came or others that it only touched on briefly
For example, the tourists that came and went every year happened to be close friends of Pamela’s from her time in university, hence why they were so friendly to you and Liz in particular.
It was also why they knew how to… handle your ever changing moods. At least-
That’s what it looked like to them.
To you- it was because you had to battle MC’s initial responses to these scenarios.
Go figure, this body still had its fair share of emotions inside of it, leaving you to figure out if this sharp pang of fear or worry was your own or not.
It left you second guessing everything you did, especially when you’d be up at night, studying and practicing your writing
It seriously irked you, knowing your writing was sloppy even though you knew this body couldn’t help it. It didn’t make seeing your scrappy writing less frustrating though
Despite how much you tried to hide how YOU felt, not MC, Noelani still picked up on the small shifts in your behavior.
One of these being the irritation you harbored for your writing.
Speaking of emotions, you found your body easily overwhelmed by any stronger ones- your own irritation making you cry- an alien feeling and one that took even you by surprise.
Worse part? The first time happened was in front of Noelani when she tried to help you practice your penmanship
Naturally, she tried to comfort you MC by trying to console you, saying it’d be better with practice and wiping away your tears but no matter how YOU tried, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing
It wasn’t until much later that you realized that MC’s tiny self had their own limits and by pushing those adult feelings and expectations that YOU had onto it sent it into a messy overdrive.
After that, you had learned to slow down- the world wasn’t ending…even if it felt like it.
…
The nail in the coffin for you that made YOU cry. Not MC’s body: Your dreams started to resemble parts of your life.
You’d dream that you were back at your desk job or filling out mundane paperwork but no matter how boring it’d be, it was YOUR life.
The one YOU were used to and familiar with
You’d always feel so relieved to be back where you were supposed to, whether you were happy with that life or not
It was that feeling of having all your choices in your hand and being in control of where you wanted to go, if that made sense.
Nobody made those choices for you except well…you.
Only to have that feeling of familiarity ripped away once you registered Liz waking you up to play while “Ma and Mom snooze the day away!”
…
You just want to go home…
To YOUR home…
-> Next... <-
-> Extras <- ⊹ ���₊˚ Isekai Self Aware Taglist: @lilqi @annoying-mary @mellozhi ˚₊‧ ⊹
#our life beginning and always#our life#olba#isekai au#self aware au#Isekai AU#Self Aware AU#olba cove james holden#olba cove holden#olba cove#olba mc#cove james holden x mc#cove holden x mc#cove x mc#cove james holden x reader#cove holden x reader#cove x reader#self aware cove x reader#self aware cove x mc#imma give this poor soul so much anxiety and trauma#all the same though#Imma keep this as realistic as possible#Like-#IDK#IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY ISEKAIED SOMEWHERE#I WOULDNT JUST START WOOING PEOPLE#LIKE ALL MY EFFORTS IN MY LIFE MEANT NOTHING- C'MON- personally i'd freak out#also- this was made with a afab reader in mind-#so- sorry amab and enby frens ;-;#I'll try to keep this as gender nuetral as possible but no promises! TvT
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orpheus and thanatos 💚
#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#makoto yuki#lizzy does art#HIII EVERYONE :3 happy halloween.... (has been working on this for four weeks off and on)#i've always yearned to see art of ryoji and minato based on thanatos and orpheus!!!#i know that ryoji can be likened to being the eurydice figure which i agree with but I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABT THEM LIKE THIS OK.#it was nice to give drawing something more ambitious (for my standards) an earnest try again! i love working with lineless and lighting#and working on this has inspired me to HOPEFULLY start doing some studies of sorts! i want to learn so many things...#all so that i can make ryomina as epic as possible...#also LET ME TELL YOU that thanatos coffins are making me realize i seriously need to do drawabox or something.#trying to put them in perspective is hard... but im pretty happy with what i made!!!#also can i just say i love how shapely orpheus is?? i love orpheus joints etc etc its so nice. very fresh#sighs longingly. i love them very much they make me want to do better at things. i hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead! 💙#very excited to see what people do for ryomina week (<- they haven't made anything 4 it yet bc Busy... but i'll submit smthn late maybe)
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I got. thoughts. about valens and voices in imperial roman history. but I also got a lot of thoughts about uhhhhhh choosing your brother for co ruling the Fratricide Foundation Story Empire. many thoughts about themistius' oration too
Brotherly Love, Themistius (trans. Peter Heather & David Moncur)
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta
#it's also the Incest-Cannibalism Empire but that's a discussion for a different blog#all of the heavy hitters were Incest Empires btw. that's a feature of Empire across all of time. not always Cannibalism tho. TRAGIC.#but rome specifically being the Fratricide&Stuprum Empire is funny AND makes parts of this speech feel. uh. UHHHHH.#feels like you're trying to overwrite history and while you succeeded ONCE the uncle-nephew antagonism with a body count#somehow feels worse????? feels worse. i dont like anything that happened to valentinian 2#anyway. as a result: i personally will be including the bigamy accusations against valentinian into my belief system#stuprum babyyyyy! a requirement for every emperor! valens is lacking here so valentinian has to pick up the slack#valens will be giving me an opening to fire shots at figures in christianity i dislike which is honestly better than scandalous sex#later roman empire tag#komiks tag#brother emperors tag#IF. you missed my brother emperors posting. the head in hands thing here is meant to be a little bit offputting on account of#valentinian being valens' imperial maker. that's a life in your hands. overtures of fratricide. etc. you get the point#whatever other subtext you want to apply to it from the subtext spice cabinet. im not picky. this was a quick comic i did#to shake off the depression cobwebs lmao. eventually i'll style guide this era and do comics with more intentional thought later
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Here are those fic recs I promised you @incesthemes ! I hope there's some in there that you'll really enjoy <3 I split up the recs into overarching tropes to group some together, but I'll start with those that don't fit into any of the groups.
The list got a bit long, so I decided to split it up into two parts.
(Part 1 | Part 2)
Courting Death by theproblematique.
Summary: Sam Winchester lived the first six months of his life in a happy family; the next twelve years as John Winchester's only son, and the last decade as an orphan. He's supposed to die at twenty-two trying to save the woman he loves from a fire, because he doesn't have a brother to pull him back. But the night Sam meets his Reaper he discovers that Death is overly fond of pop-culture references, too beautiful to be real, and reluctant to kill him.
Servant of Servants 'verse by klove0511.
This is a two-part series (though I think it might've been intended to have more fics, its ending doesn't leave you feeling snubbed), posing the question: "what if it had been Sam who'd been mortally wounded at the end of Season 1?"
love potion no. 9 by according2thelore.
Summary: Dean drinks a love potion. Sam is falling apart at the seams because he's been in love with his brother for more than a decade.
keep me in a daydream by according2thelore.
Summary: After an accidental kiss makes a hunt go suspiciously well, Sam and Dean decide to try it again. And again. And again. It's no different from wearing lucky socks, right? A 5 + 1.
for you and me (i got no alibi) by remy.
Summary: There are people hitting on Sam wherever he goes, and Dean is doing weird things like holding doors open for him and touching him way more than is necessary, and it's all driving Sam up the wall. It doesn't help that he's been in love with Dean for just about forever, and all of it feels like a mockery of something he'll never get to have. Meanwhile, Dean is at his wits' end trying to figure out how he can make Sam realize that he is, in fact, trying to get into his pants.
Ben Has Two Dads by regala_electra.
Summary: When Ben turns thirteen and learns that Dean Winchester is his father, he runs away to join his father (and uncle). A tale where boys are boys, Vikings are Vikings, unicorns go to Candy Mountains, Dean and Sam are in big gay love, and Ben becomes a Winchester.
Last Temptation by merle_p.
Summary: Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state. Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.
Five Times Dean Forgot and One Time He Remembered by elsi.
Summary: Rowena warned him the obliviate curse might have “aftershocks.” That Dean could relapse to his amnesiac state without warning—though only temporarily, she assured. But this? This goes beyond calling a lamp a “light stick.”
Whatever It Is by theproblematique.
Summary: Both Sam and Dean get sent to the year 2014.
Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life, Too) by TeacupUnicorn.
Summary: Sam and Dean get handcuffed together during a hunt. With a werewolf on their tail and a proximity to each other they haven’t had since they were kids, their unstable relationship is put to the test and their trust in each other is pushed to the limit. Set sometime after 5x16 and before 5x20.
Not Her Sam by Yuval25.
Summary: Future Dean goes back in time to change the future and saves Jess. Future Sam tags along unexpectedly. And Jess is okay. No, seriously. She's fine.
Mistaken For a Couple
101 - mythology by ani_coolgirl.
Summary: As Sam, Dean, and Kali flee Lucifer's slaughter, Kali makes an assumption. The boys try to clear up any misconceptions. They don't do a very good job.
I need you so much closer by cherryvanilla.
Summary: five times they're mistaken for a couple plus one time they actually are.
Domesticity
Paisley by samsexualdeancurious.
Summary: After his mind wall was broken and was healed, Sam knows he can’t be a hunter anymore, so he and Dean retire, and Sam ends up finding a homeless dog who was abused and together they heal.
The Chicago Verse by compo67.
This is a series spanning a whopping 169 fics. I've read only a few of them and I enjoyed Sam and Dean retiring in this town together. It's still updating, looks like, since the latest fic added was in May of this year.
a few things worth saying by hathfrozen.
Summary: “So this morning,” Dean ventures as they blast down the highway in pitch black night toward a probable werewolf case. Sam looks over at him, thin eyebrows raised, eyes clear and calm. He’s not even difficult about it, doesn’t ask what Dean is after, doesn’t deny what had happened. Instead he says, very simply, “I just figure, why lie?” Alright then.
All The Way In by hunters_retreat.
Summary: Sam never did know how exactly it happened. One day, he and Dean were run ragged, exhausted from yet another disaster of a hunt, no money and no gas, no prospects and no allies left alive to give them a hand. The next, they owned a store with a shooting range and Sam was a professor of religious studies at a local community college.
Pre-Series & Season 1
To Blow Against the Wind by dreamlittleyo.
Summary: After Oasis Plains, Sam and Dean can't. Stop. Touching each other.
Star-Crossed by Agent_Hellcat.
Summary: Before Sam departs for Stanford, he writes a letter to Dean, begging him to come to Palo Alto with him.
Birthday Suit by wincestation.
Summary: On the morning of Dean’s eighteenth birthday, Dad takes him to buy a suit. Sam is… interested.
house song by according2thelore.
Summary: “The werewolf.” Sam says, quick. Hushed. Scared. “I don’t know how. I was—He was standing above you and then he wasn’t. And I think I did that.” Dean keeps whispering stuff to Sam, banal reassurances that Sam soaks up like a sponge, but he feels sick. Sammy did something impossible. Sammy’s been doing impossible things. For years. Or: Pre-Canon/Teen!chesters AU in which Sam develops powers at age eleven, Dean will do anything to protect him, and they have to live with the consequences
Outsider POV
What I've Done by Amoreanonyname.
Summary: He wasn’t going to say anything more about it. He could tell, Dean was happy to see him, but wasn’t going to humor this topic. Dean, young Dean would jump to obey John, to answer John’s questions, but this was an older Dean who was more loyal to someone else now. More loyal to his brother. John wasn’t the priority here, and he realized with another guilty jump in his stomach that he never should have been.
something you love and understand by monsterq.
Summary: In heaven, Mary makes an unwelcome discovery about her sons’ relationship.
a skeleton terribly restless by remy.
Summary: Mary knows she doesn't fit right in this strange new world she's woken up in, with these grown men masquerading as her sons, but she tries her best. She really does. She closes her eyes to all the things she does not want to see, and she lies to herself until she's convinced. Until she can't.
Flowers on the Window Sill by orphan_account.
Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester's relationship as observed by the good people of Star's Hollow.
Soulmates
Fix You by non_tiembo_mala.
Summary: After their encounter with Famine, the boys are in dire straits. With Dean left shaken by the horseman's taunts - which rang truer than he'd like to admit - and Sam juiced up on demon blood again, Dean is at a loss. He has no idea how to move forward, or where they're meant to go from here. Then again, they’ve always had each other - perhaps their salvation isn't as far away as it seems.
All Too Familiar by sammichgirl.
Summary: Sam's new hobby has consequences they never saw coming. Turns out, that's OK with Dean after all.
What We Do by BleedingInk.
Summary: Castiel catches Sam and Dean in a compromising position.
since feeling is first by queenklu.
Summary: That he wants to think this is Dean yanking a leash should make his blood run cold, not aching hot. It should make him sick, angry, it should get his fucking hackles up and make him fight. He does want to fight. But there’s a skin-thin line between primal things, and fighting isn’t all he wants to do.
if the dam breaks open many years too soon by deirde_c.
Summary: Sam’s soul springs a leak, and Dean’s the one who can repair it.
In the beached margin of the sea by rivers_bend.
Summary: Sam and Dean black out on a hunt, and when they wake up, Dean's having visions and Sam can't get new, strange feelings out of his head. When John finds out about the side effects, he'll do anything to get rid of the "curse". But Sam and Dean don't want to go back to the way things were before.
I Don't Need A Symbol by amoreanonyname.
Summary: It hadn’t meant that much to Sam at first. A warm glow at being able to do something nice for Dean, to give him something for once, to make him as happy as he seemed when he put it on immediately. It was what it meant to Dean that made it mean something else to Sam.
#wincest#samdean#fic recs#rec list#part 1#og post#so here it is!!#this took me way too long 💀 sorry about that#tumblr also been giving me sooo much trouble formatting this ugh#if anything doesnt work or looks wonky lmk and i'll try to fix it!#hope you enjoy the fics!!<3
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birthday girl cherry here with a wee request about my favorite scot <33 i NEED a little something about birthday sex with soap. preferably nasty, feral fucking 🫣 totally up to you, but i would love it if the piece included face licking, squirting, and elements of a breeding kink :3
love you and your writing!! <333
cw: 18+, minors dni, fem!reader, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, squirting, dirty talk, spit, face licking, breeding kink, creampie, porn with plot, johnny is very horny (this is a warning in itself)
summary: birthday sex and johnny's a freak
word count: 2.8k
a/n: happy birthday sweet girl <3 love you so much
“I really don’t kno’ why ye dressed up so nicely anyways.”
“Huh?” You nearly choke on the bite of food in your mouth, staring at Johnny incredulously from across the table. “Of course I’d dress up, it’s my birthday dinner.”
“Ah know it is. You look like an angel. And now I’ll have tae tear that pretty little dress off of ye so I can ruin ye.” Johnny sighs, completely nonchalant as your mouth drops open at the bluntness of his words.
“Johnny. We’re in public.” you hiss, feeling your face heat up as he flashes that classic MacTavish grin at you. You’re very much in public at a very expensive restaurant that he insisted on taking you to, but that doesn’t deter him from running his mouth. In fact, he might even see it as encouraging.
“And?” he counters, beaming brighter when your glare turns more into a warning. “Dinnae act like it’s a mystery on what we’re gonna do tonight.”
“You’re awful, Johnny.” you mutter, downing the last of your water as you lean back in your chair. “Can’t spend one evening without you thinking with the wrong head.”
He hums contently, pleased at the way he riled you up. That was his plan all along. It’s working. “Never did tell me what ye wanted for yer birthday.” He’s quick to switch the subject, knowing it’ll get you even more flustered.
“What I want is for you to have some manners.” The waiter swings by the table to drop off the bill and you thank whoever is watching out for you that Johnny knows enough to keep his mouth closed for just a few moments.
“You wound me, sweetheart.” He mockingly clutches his chest, chuckling when you kick him under the table. “Not my fault that looking at ye makes me think such dirty thoughts all the time.”
He tilts his head, clearly weighing the consequences of whatever he’s going to say next.
“It’s also not my fault you look so gorgeous I cannae help but imagine all the ways I’m gonna fuck ye.”
You swallow roughly as he tosses a few bills onto the table, quickly standing up to wrap his arm around your shoulders and direct you out of the restaurant.
He leans in while you make the walk to his car, nipping at the shell of your ear and making you gasp. “And if you keep looking like that, I’ll simply have to take ye right in the backseat, bonnie.”
You don’t even make it past the living room. You’re lucky you make it past the front door.
Johnny unceremoniously shoves you onto the couch the second both of you step inside your house, hiking your dress over your stomach and gripping the delicate lace of your panties to fully tear it off of you.
“Och, dinnae act like ye aren’t aware I’ve already bought a couple new pairs for ye.” he scoffs when he’s met with your unimpressed glare. “Besides, I think ye look better this way. Don’t need anything covering up what’s mine.”
Any argument you have against that dies the second he grabs onto your thighs, the rough calluses of his fingers digging into your soft skin as he lifts one leg over his shoulder to bury his head right into your pussy.
“Yer lucky it’s yer birthday,” he huffs, nose bumping against your clit as he practically drools in between your thighs, his saliva mixing with the slickness you can feel is already coating your cunt. “The way you looked back there, if only ye could’ve seen how hard I was. Wanted tae, fuck, wanted tae pull you right into that restroom, bend you over the sink and fuck ye stupid. Only thing stopping me was wanting to be polite on yer special day.”
“You’re an absolute freak, y’know that Johnny?” you laugh breathlessly before it dissolves into a moan, your hand threading through his mohawk as he presses his lips against your clit and latches on, a few simple sucks making your hips jerk involuntarily.
“I can be worse. So much worse.” He has been worse. Will definitely continue to be worse too, but he’s feeling generous today. It’s evident through the way he noisily laps at your cunt, acting like a man starved as he uses his thumbs to spread your folds and flatten his tongue against them.
“Good thing we didnae have cake yet,” he groans against your pussy, his tongue quickly collecting all the slick of your arousal before he lowers it to press inside your entrance, curling it a few times before lifting his head again. “Got the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted in yer pussy right here.”
He stares up at you with those delicate baby blue eyes of his, letting out a moan of his own as your fingers in his hair form a fist and you tug him back up to your clit. “If only ye could see yourself right now. So beautiful when yer getting yer pussy ate.”
You whimper, grinding against his face as he alternates between suckling and nipping at your clit, his fingers pumping in and out of you as you feel yourself rapidly approaching the first orgasm of the night.
“You’re close, aye? Can feel you clenching on my fingers, so fuckin’ greedy.” He leans directly over your clit, opening his mouth as a fat load of spit covers over the swollen bud and his thumb rubs against it to make a sticky mess out of your pussy. “It’s yer goddamn right to be greedy, especially today. I’m gonna need ye tae cum for me, sweet girl, need to kno’ I’m making ye feel good.”
The filth coming out of his mouth coupled with the way his fingers are thrusting inside of you perfectly are what sends you over the edge, crying out sharply as your fluids drench his face, leaving your thighs trembling against his head as he eagerly uses his tongue to clean up all of your cum left on your pussy.
“Gonna make ye do that again. Makes me lose my fuckin’ mind when you squirt on me like that.” he sighs, leaning back as he wipes the slick glistening on his chin and licks his fingers clean. You immediately prop yourself up to reach for his belt, letting out a low whine when he gently moves your hands away.
“Quit yer fretting, you’ll get my cock. Just not here. Need tae fuck ye proper, cannae do it on a couch. C’mon, love.” Johnny swiftly hooks his arm around your waist to toss you over his shoulder, rolling his eyes and landing a soft smack to your ass when you squirm in his grasp. “Dinnae give me that, I’ll manhandle you any day of the year. Nothing you can do about it.”
You bite back the ‘yes sir’ on the tip of your tongue, not wanting to boost his ego even more as he carries you to your room. “I’m more than capable of walking up some stairs, Johnny.”
“Won’t be doing any walking once I’m done with ye.” he retorts, kicking open the bedroom door and dropping you onto the bed. “Won’t be doing much of anything if I can help it. If I haven’t fucked ye till yer legs are shaking and yer heads empty then I didnae do my job correctly.”
“Is that a promise?” you ask softly as Johnny moves to unzip your dress, your hands working in tandem to unbutton his shirt, the collar of which is now completely soaked with your juices.
“It’s a given,” is his short response as he tugs your dress off of you, tossing it to the floor as you finally lose your patience and rip the rest of his buttons open. You let him shrug his shirt off to join your dress on the floor before staring down at the bulge evident in his dress pants.
“Christ, baby,” you mumble, fingers moving swiftly to undo his belt and shove his pants down to his thighs. There’s already a wet patch against his boxers, and you appreciate it as long as you can before you’re pushing them down as well to watch his erection spring up against his stomach.
His dick is mouthwatering, if you’re being completely honest with yourself. A fat pearl of pre-cum already leaking from his tip, dripping against his abdomen. It must be throbbing, aching at being neglected for so long.
“I did all that?” you breathe out, wrapping your fingers around the length of his cock to pump up and down slowly. “Just from eating me out?”
“Fuckin’ hell, you do this just from seeing you.” he inhales briskly, staring down at you jerking him off before he softly directs your hand away. “Cannae lie, eating that sweet pussy of yours definitely helped me too.”
He fully tugs down his pants and boxers, kicking them off towards the pile of clothes as he crawls up towards you.
His mouth is on yours immediately, his middle and ring fingers finding their way back to your pussy and quickly sinking into you. Johnny uses his other hand to guide your head back onto your pillow, allowing his body weight to press you into the mattress as you moan against his mouth. He kisses you sloppily as his lips slot between yours to push his tongue into your mouth and swirl it over yours.
“So pretty, so fuckin’ pretty, baby. My pretty girl.” he croons, his lips trailing down to your neck, practically panting as his tongue laps at your pulse point. “Ye drive me crazy. Every time I fuck ye I’m thinking about when I get to make you cum again. Yer always on my mind, I swear tae you.”
His words being both simultaneously dirty and praising make your head spin, and at first it barely registers that his mouth is moving from your neck. “Johnny, fuck…” you groan, nose scrunching as he drags his tongue across your cheek and leaves a trail of spit in it’s path. “You’re no better than a dog.”
“Can bark if ye want.” he grunts in response, not giving you any warning before spitting against your lips and smearing it around with the tip of his tongue. “Sorry, baby, need my mouth on you. Look so fuckin’ good under me.”
You’d let him do anything to you if he keeps fucking you like this, even if it’s just his fingers for now, and you have to admit that his tongue feels as good against your face as it does against your pussy. His hand that isn’t currently filling out your cunt moves to your shoulder, pinning you down as he licks all over your face, making your skin coated with his saliva.
Johnny pumps his fingers inside you a few more times, the squelching audible before he slowly pulls them out of you. You whimper at the sudden emptiness before throwing your head back against the pillow at the feeling of his cock grinding against your folds, the sensation making your pussy flutter around nothing.
“Please… please, Johnny.” you cry out, rocking your hips back and forth desperately in an attempt to get any friction possible.
“Please what, sweetheart?” he murmurs as he grips his cock, tapping the head against your clit and slathering your slick all over it. “Birthday girl still has to use her words.”
“Please fuck me already.” you whine, your nails digging into his biceps as you spread your legs wider around his hips. “Need you to fuck me, please.”
“Never get tired of hearing that.” He drags his cock against your pussy a few more times to gather up as much wetness as he can before finally pressing himself into you. You feel your cunt stretching around his girth to accommodate him, his tongue and his fingers having prepped you well but never enough for how thick he is.
His thrusts start slow and gentle, but Johnny isn’t a patient man, nor does he feel like holding himself back tonight. He lifts his leg up to reposition himself, before completely pounding his cock into you. It’s almost animalistic the way he loses himself in you, making you cling to him as your thoughts are consumed solely by Johnny and the way he’s making you feel. You breathe heavily, forcing your eyes open as you stare up at him.
Johnny looks as ravished as you feel; mohawk tousled from your fingers running through it and damp from sweat, his pupils blown out you almost can’t see the blue behind them. The thick, rough pads of his fingers dig into the meat of your thighs as he fucks you without hesitation, pushing himself as deep as he’s able to he watches the way your cunt keeps sucking him back in.
You feel him everywhere, his cock spearing you open while one of his hands moves to grope your breast, rolling your nipple between the pad of his thumb and his pointer finger. Your mouth drops open in a silent moan and he uses the opportunity to spit directly into your mouth, feeling it coat your tongue as you make eye contact while you swallow.
That must’ve set something off in him, because you’re instantly rewarded with him fucking you so perfectly it makes you see stars. “Just like that, Johnny! Right there, right-”
He cuts you off as he grips your hips harder to angle himself deeper, the head of his cock hitting the spongy spot inside of you perfectly. “Yeah, yeah, I kno’. Right there. Acting like I don’t kno’ yer pussy inside an’ out, like I haven’t made this pretty pussy my fuckin’ home.”
He leans down, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear. “Think ye forgot I practically molded yer cunt to my liking, bonnie.” he whispers, his hips smacking against your ass with another thrust as if to prove his point. “Believe me, pretty girl, there’s nothing about you I haven’t memorized yet. And that includes all the ways I get tae make ye cum.”
His hand moves from your breast to your stomach, gently kneading your skin as he continues to pump into you. “Wanna cum inside ye. Figured out what tae get you as yer gift.” He meets your eyes as he rubs soft circles against your stomach, smirking as he feels you clench down on him. “Yeah? Wanna have my baby? I’ll make you a mama, don’t even have tae ask.”
You don’t have it in you to reply, your mind feeling fuzzy as you feel the pressure build up inside you again. “Johnny, I’m so close, so so close, I can’t…” you pant, your senses nearly overwhelmed from all the pleasure Johnny’s making you feel.
“I kno’, love. It’s a lot, aye? S’okay, you can be good for me and cum.” he coos, his hand going from your stomach to above your pussy, his thumbing working roughly against your clit.
You arch your back against the mattress with a mewl, his cock and his thumb on your clit working together to send you over the edge. He holds you steady as you squirt for the second time, your juices soaking over the dark curls trailing up his stomach and at the base of his cock.
Johnny fucks you through your orgasm, his own following shortly behind yours. He dips his head to the crook of your neck, sighing out your name as his hips stutter and he finishes inside you, hot ropes of semen coating your pussy as his thrusts slowly slow down. He keeps his cock where it is, allowing his cum to be plugged up in your cunt.
He collapses on top of you, panting and trailing open mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. He wraps his arms around your waist, cuddling you tightly as he looks down at you with love in his eyes.
“So good to me. Happy birthday, my girl.” Johnny murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your temple as he cradles you against him, your chests rising and falling in unison. “Love you so much. You have a good time tonight?”
“I love you too.” you smile warmly, catching your breath as your lips meet his. “I’m having a great time, Johnny, all thanks to you.” You try to lift yourself up from under him, before feeling his grip against you tighten ever so slightly.
“Where do ye think yer going, bonnie?”
“Don’t you need to take a breather?” you ask quietly, your confusion evident as he shakes his head and guides you back down against the mattress.
“Dinnae think for a second that I’m done with you.” he grunts, pulling his cock out just enough for you to feel his cum run down your thighs and onto the bed sheets before he thrusts into you again. “I’ll make this a birthday to remember.”
#i'm still working on my characterization and my dialogue for him so pls bear with me#also this is my second smut ever but i'm learning!!! i promise i'll get better#btw his aftercare for this is getting you a slice of leftover cake and watching you eat it in bed#gives you like 30 seconds of peace before he's diving back into your pussy#“we both deserve dessert... and i dinnae like cake” - johnny#flashes you those puppy dog eyes when you look at him like 🤨#“i'm trying to eat here” and he goes “so am i????”#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#soap mactavish#johnny mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#cod smut#mw2#cod mw2
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wip posting just to get something out there, and it's def a mixed bag!! the only thing more inconsistent than my posting schedule is my art style RIP
#wip#yapping below#1. sinnohtrio group pic where nothing bad has happened yet... dedicated sinnoh post coming soon#2. personalizing dawn and lyra's togekisses with different coloring and markings based on region. there's lyra's omelette :]#3. timeskip red and leaf except it's just pikachu#4. top left is all the assets i made for my cs final project! a little cherrim themed browser game#then there's sprites for my champion dawn; cool concept methinks but it's definitely a work in progress. peep the giratina hairclips#some vaugely lugia/ho-oh inspired protag ideas for a hgss sequel#anddd a bunch of background doodles. goldenrod flower shop and a very saturated mt. silver#in timeskip there shall be a proper town at mt. silver's base to officially bridge kanto and johto (and make lyra's work commute easier)#5-7 is me spitballing ideas abt pokemon biology#dratini & dragonair are forever sea snakes to me!!! though i do enjoy the amphibian interpretations#also i didn't know dragonite island was already a thing from pokeani... rip wyverse dragon master lore#i think crobat looks goofy no matter how you stylize it. silver and his big bumbling bat that insists on grooming its trainer. so unserious#there's a togekiss page too but then i remembered egg groups are a thing so i'm revising parts of it#i spent so long trying to come up with a reasonable wing-to-body ratio for togekiss and crobat. literally useless when dragonite can#apparently fly around the globe in 16 hours. are you Kidding me. dragons weren't even merging with jet planes until gen 3.#OK that is all. sorry for the lack of uploads wah#i'm like a ferret hoarding all my doodles until the quantity > quality lever switches in my brain to give the 👍 to post#i did made a spam blog but who knows if i'll actually post on there lol! probably for non-pkmn related stuff
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Hello there, dear @itsokaytomakemosstakes!
I was your assigned gift maker for the @dcmk-exchange event!
Ever since you shared your lovely mugs with me, the thought that Ran would get them as a matching kitty set for herself and Conan, wouldn't leave me alone. So I decided to embrace the idea; for both the headcanon and the personal touch.
Originally I planned something more silly, but the soothing vibes of my first sketch were just so lovely, I went with this instead (especially since I thought you might appreciate a bit of peace).
I hope you'll like this, and I really have enjoyed chatting with you, Moss!
#dcmk exchange#dcmk-exchange#detective conan#dcmk#meitantei conan#名探偵コナン#edogawa conan#fanart#the detective gremlin#my stuff#HELLO THERE: TIS I YOUR GIFTER AND I HAVE ARRIVED#i'm sorry i'Ll be ranting in the tags (as i wont to do)#*inhales deeply* i know you said you wanted something silly but... the image of him drinking from his mug was so soothing to me#i hoped it would be a bit soothing for you too *fidgets with hands*#i'm not really good at fanart but i saw in your form that you would like a fanart if possible#and i wanted to give it a try and i actually really loved working on it a lot i accidentally got into the zone for hours#i mostly used markers and a bit of coloured pencil to colour his pajamas.#(a very light green which the scanner killed but well...) so a mixed media piece?#i also felt more comfortable for going with a semi-realistic style? i always wanted to do my own interpretation of shinichi's adorable hair#and i tried to imitate how gosho colours hair since i've always liked that style. an attempt was made at least#i really hope you like this at least a tiny bit and if you ever want to talk you are more than welcome to#and stay strong darling. and let yourself heal and grieve. give yourself all the time you need.#i also didn't want to set too high a bar for myself since i have a weird relationship with doing fanart. so i kept this fairly simple.#but i'm really satisfied. more than i thought i would be. so thank you for this experience a lot!!!#i also wanted to go for the feeling that he is tiny... so the mug is big and he is tiny... extra tininess... a baby...#also me realizing late in the game that i wanted to add a tiny blush but... well... *coughs*
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With over 20 members currently on the QSMP and more on the way, it's almost impossible for a single person to stay up to date on everything that happens, even with help from QSMP's official Twitter recap accounts.
For people who are interested in QSMP's story, characters, and/or streamers but don't have time to watch hundreds of hours worth of VODs, I've created the QSMP VOD Timestamp Archive.
If there's a particular lore moment you missed live and can't find, search for it in the archive!
Timestamps include quotes, notable lore events, and funny interactions. Interesting or important moments from each stream are bolded for emphasis. I'm also adding short summaries for lore-heavy / eventful stream.
I've organized the document so it should be easy to navigate, and you can CTRL + F to search for specific streamers and/or events.
Complete VOD playlists, recaps, and additional resources are also included in the document for people who might be feeling overwhelmed by the amount of QSMP content out there. It's never too late to get into the series!
If you have a streamer you watch consistently, consider writing down important timestamps to help fellow fans! You don’t have to take detailed notes like mine – even one or two timestamps can be a real lifesaver. If you have any helpful timestamps you want added to the list (or even a 1 sentence summary of a particular stream), send it to me via DM so I can add it to the archive.
I am just one person, so unfortunately this archive is by no means comprehensive, but I'm constantly updating things and adding more streams and timestamps to the document. I've been working on this project for a while now, so even though it's not complete, I hope people find it useful!
[ VOD Timestamp Archive ]
#QSMP#Quackity#QSMP Resource#QSMP Masterpost#QSMP VOD Timestamp Archive#Also I saw the comments and tags y'all left on yesterday's post... thank you....#That made me smile a lot :')#It's nice getting feedback and it's nice knowing my stuff is helping people#I know most of the people featured here are the same 5-6 people I'm trying to diversify but good god there's so many frickin streamers on th#I wanna watch Maxo more but his streaming schedule doesn't match up with mine very often#also. My Spanish needs work.#But I'm giving it my best shot!#Also if you have any feedback or suggestions on the organizations please let me know#I'm going to try and start linking to the official QSMP stream summaries they post each day#and then I'll retroactively add those to past streams#because god fobid you try and find anything on Twitter#after 24 hours its wiped off the face of the earth practically
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🐶 Y'know, I fall in love with you all over again when we go on dates like this, Max.
🐰 You're getting a pass for that awful pun because you're the prettiest thing this side a' the world, Sam.
🐶 What can I say? I'm as corny as Kansas in August.
🐰 And as normal as blueberry pie.
#I had such a nice time making this it was very cathartic :] I’ve been having a really horrible time lately and this was-#a way to relieve my brain at least a little#sam and max#freelance husbands#furry art#morelikesin#my art#don't steal#digital art#original#finished#also do not tag as genderbend or like terms I just love sam crossdressing don't worry about it#a wonderful guy tex beneke#and if you've gotten this far in the tags I'll get a little sappy: I've gotten a monumental uptick in interest in my work the past week or-#-so and it's really meant so much to me. I've been making and posting art on this blog for. God it's been Years and I'm a nobody#but lately I've been given such affection for my pieces and I can't believe it still. I don't know if I deserve it but I am keeping it-#-very close to my heart. a sincere and genuine thank you for making truly the hardest time in my life to date bearable again.#I've been debating if I should just give up and this gives me hope to at least try for a little while longer 🩷 okay sorry for the sap
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part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)
day 04: here come the tears
a/n: the people have requested a surprise eddie pov and i have decided to pull a eurovision and ignore the public vote, just a little bit. but you get a tiny eddie pov, as a treat 🤍
Steve is crying. It's 1:07 a.m. and Steve is crying. And there is nothing Eddie can do about it as he's lying in bed, his heart breaking further with every passing second that they lie there in silence, quiet sniffles carrying over the phone.
Steve is crying and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not talking to him and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not okay, and neither is Eddie. They're both breaking.
And Eddie doesn't know what to do about it, how to fix it. How to make it better. How to tell Steve that he misses him, how to ask him to talk to him, how to keep him. To stop him from slipping through his fingers further and further until all there is is silence.
"You know," his mind wanders back to years ago, his heart cracking at the memory. "I had the biggest crush on him for the longest time. Forever, really."
He remembers the way Steve's eyebrows shot up, his eyes round with... shock? Surprise? Or maybe something bad?
"Oh?"
"Yeah," Eddie had chuckled, fiddling with the straw in his drink to give his hands something to do. "Remember that kiss?" Steve nodded. "Well." Another chuckle, awkward this time, and possibly too revealing.
Steve grinned at him, a self satisfied smirk that wavers just a little. "So you're saying you did fall madly in love with me, Munson?"
Eddie's breath had hitched a little because Steve remembered those words so perfectly that had since doomed Eddie completely. But he covered it up with a laugh so easily, he was sure Steve didn't notice.
"Maybe," he grinned. "But eh, that's in the past."
It wasn't a lie; not really. But wasn't the truth either.
The truth was that Eddie had moved on. The truth was that it's the kind of crush that was never really a crush. The kind that is a Forever more than anything else.
The kind that will always be there, a flame burning inside my chest that carries your name and keeps it alive, keeps me warm. The kind of flame that will always be ready to become a bonfire again. Just say the word, Stevie. It's written in the universe. Say the word and I'll be yours.
"Good," Steve said after a while, and Eddie remembers frowning, remembers that he wanted to ask what that tone was, what Steve was thinking. If he was worried or disgusted or felt betrayed that Eddie's been so hopelessly and helplessly in love with him.
But all he said was, "Yeah. Remember Chrissy? We're kinda official now."
And Eddie had known then just as he does now, that he'll be a happy man with Chrissy. She's his best friend, a sunshine on bleak days. She's no Steve, but she makes him happy. He had to move on from Steve – to try – and allow himself his own kind of happiness. He'd never expected to find it with Chrissy, but he loves her so much. He's grown to love her in the past years – not the movie kind of love, not the all-encompassing Steve kind of love, because that flame inside his chest can still only carry one name.
But life is not a movie. And love is not always a fire. But he's still warm, still content, still happy. And so is Chrissy. She knows about his flame, says she understands. Eddie thinks he has one of her own, but he never asked; just held her that night, creating more of that silent happiness.
…Is he happy? Lying in bed, listening to Steve's quiet breaths that are barely audible over the phone, remembering the kiss, the confession, the Forever that he tried to move on from, he wonders what he's doing. Wonders if that contentment is worthwhile if it somehow lead him to losing Steve.
Did he miss something? Did he fuck up without realising?
He can't ask; Steve won't talk.
All he can do is lie there and feel that flame that still carries Steve's name after ten, eleven, twelve years scorching his insides.
All he can do is wonder if the whispered, "Good night, Stevie. I miss you," is some kind of goodbye. All he can do is lie awake all night and wonder where they started losing each other.
~*~
Missing Eddie is worse than loving him. Missing Eddie makes it feel like all the heartbreak songs are written for Steve and his pain that will persist.
It’s been three months since the engagement party, and the sharp, biting heartache that cut into his lungs every time Steve tried to take a deep breath has dulled now, turned into a constant ache, an emptiness, the sorrowful traces of where an I love you turned into an I miss you.
He’s barely talking to Eddie anymore, and with every passing day he just misses him more.
Steve types the words I miss you over and over and over again, but never hits send. Just stares at them, wondering if Eddie knows. Wondering if he’s doing the right thing. He isn’t. There is no right thing. Nothing is right. Not without Eddie.
He scrolls up in their chat, past Eddie’s questions if he’s okay, past his very own I miss yous, up and up and up to the strings of hearts, to the inside jokes, to the gentle teasing, to the You’re my favourite persons, to the happiness and joy and good, good times.
He scrolls and scrolls until his phone vibrates and tells him there’s a new message in the chat. Steve frowns, his hollow heart racing as he scrolls down again to see Eddie’s new message.
Eddie Munson: — Can I come over?
Steve frowns.
— why? are you okay?
Eddie Munson: — No. — Nothing is okay. You’re gone and you’re not talking to me and I miss you and I’m losing you and I don’t know why — I dont know anything. — I just wanna know, wanna talk, wanna understand — I wanna fix this. I fucked up, I think, and I wanna make it better. — I need to talk to you — Please. Please can I come over
Steve swallows hard, as he reads the incoming messages over and over again, watching the little bubble that says Eddie’s typing still. Watching as it disappears and reappears, reading until his eyes begin to sting and his vision is blurred with tears for the first time this week.
Letting them fall as he types,
— no. please dont
Eddie doesn’t reply to that, and Steve breathes out long and hard, throwing his phone to the side, not caring where it lands on the couch as he slumps over to the other side, turning up the music even louder.
Oh, can you tell I haven’s slept very well Since the last time that we spoke. I said, ‘Please understand I’ve been drinking again And all I do is hope.’
It consumes him, this song and the way it was written for him. The way it was written about him. Because he has no right to ask Eddie to stay. He’s the one who’s leaving. He’s the one not telling Eddie what is wrong, why he’s pulling back so suddenly.
I’m not strong enough for the both of us. What was I supposed to do, You know I love you. Please, stay.
Please stay. Please, please, please stay. It’s about him. It’s about Eddie. About them.
And Steve listens to it over and over again, not caring that his neighbours will know it by heart by know, will be so tired of him wallowing for weeks and months, and will come knocking soon. He doesn’t care, not when Mayday Parade are singing, All the love’s still there, I just don’t know what to do with it now.
He types that into Eddie’s chat. Doesn’t hit send. Sends it to Robin instead, and gets a shaking hands emoji in return. It makes him smile as he re-starts the song.
~*~
That night, he wakes around 2 a.m. to a missed call an hour ago and one new message on his mailbox. He lifts his phone to his ear with shaking hands and bated breath, a pit opening in his stomach when he hears the Judas Priest song that’s been in his Sad Eddie playlist since the beginning.
His heart cracks open when he hears Eddie’s sniffle, a heavy sigh, and another sniffle, followed by a little, Fuck.
“Stevie? I’m… You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to just— to just disappear. To slip through my fucking fingers, or float away like a— a dream, when you wake up, and you wanna go back to sleep because it was a good dream, and you— I don’t wan’ you to be a good dream Steve. You’re like… Fuck, man!”
Eddie’s voice is breaking, and so is Steve’s heart as his hand begins to tremble and he sits up in bed, closing his eyes, squeezing them shut because he doesn’t want to see the world as Eddie’s rambling at him.
“I miss you. I miss you so much, and I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t… I don’t wanna miss you. How do I get you back, Stevie? Please just… God, please just talk to me. I’d do anything for you, you know that. Just tell me, just say the word. Just… Just say the word, please.”
There’s silence after that, only Judas Priest’s Here come the tears over and over as the song is ending. Steve is crying as he listens to Eddie’s silence.
“Just. Just… Please, Stevie.”
The call ends then, the line cutting to the staticky voice instructing him to save or delete the message. Steve saves it. He doesn’t know why.
He also doesn’t know why he’s scrolling through his contacts with trembling hands and hits Call when he reaches Eddie.
The call doesn’t even get to the second ring before it’s picked up already.
“Stevie?” Eddie sounds breathless, wild, and just a little hoarse. Like he was still crying.
“Hi,” he says lamely, still shaking, a little breathless himself, and with absolutely no idea what he should say.
“I’m… Hi.”
Silence falls, and Steve wipes at his eyes. He’s still in bed, just sitting there with his phone pressed to his ear, and the ball that’s coiled inside him is growing larger and larger with each passing second that he doesn’t say Sorry, that he doesn’t say I miss you, too. That he doesn’t say I love you.
“Can I come in?”
He blinks, the question throwing him off his thought spiral. “Huh?”
“I’m sort of… outside your building right now.”
Why, he wants to ask. No, he wants to say. You’re gonna see, you’re gonna know, you’re gonna hate me forever.
“Okay,” he breathes and climbs out of bed, blanket around his shoulders despite the summer heat, because suddenly he’s freezing. He buzzes Eddie in, listens to him on the phone as he walks up the stairs, neither of them thinking of hanging up, and opens his doors with shaking, trembling hands.
tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @imzadidragonfly @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript (sorry if i missed anyone just give me a shout if i did <3)and thanks to everyone who said nice things about this 🤍🌷
come back tomorrow/later for [redacted] | read here
#steddie fic#steddie#steddieweek2023#steddie week fic#steve harrington whump#eddie munson whump#dio words#hi uhm. please nobody be mean to eddie for moving on or think he's emotionally two-timing chrissy i swear i'll try to make it make sense#but moving on is good and healthy pls don't give him shit for it <3 sometimes in life that's what happens#also thank you all for being so nice to me legit all your comments and tags keep me going 🥺😭🤍🌷 thank yous
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 🌞🌜 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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Gideon Nav (by me)
Long haired undercut Gideon lives rent free in my mind (and ego)
#I am trying to post this for the FOURTH time now#Please tumblr#I know you just want to protect my followers from another spam#I SWEAR i will eventually post something else#But this Cosplay just gives me such an ego boost#I feel so awesome#And gay!#Also I just finished reading Nona after procrastinating it for weeks#Thr braim rot is REAL AGAIN#Long haired Gideon Cosplay#Gideon Nav cosplay#Gideon Nav#gideon the ninth#Gtn#the locked tomb#the locked tomb cosplay#Tlt#I'll add image descriptions later#Am to frustrated to write them a fourth time
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