#but you WILL spend the rest of your life thinking about them

[seitmai]

Many thoughts “I’m surprised you didn't have Ray bring us back,” you commented. You were used to him being the one close by, and Bucky didn't seem to bring a lot of his other men around his place. At least not that you were aware of.

“Between you and I, Curtis isn't a huge fan of most of my friends. The less time he spends with them the better his mood is.” If you didn't know any better, you’d say Bucky sounded amused. You were also curious why Curtis still worked for him if he didn't like the crowd he ran with. “But he’ll go to the club with me later. He deserves to get the first hit in since he pulled that bastard off of you.”

Fair 🤷🏻‍♀️

You shivered again. “How am I meant to get used to this lifestyle?” you asked. You followed the rules of society like a normal person, but Bucky made his own rules. He wasn’t afraid to use his influence or violence to get what he wanted in life. He was almost shameless in it and how he manipulated people around him. That wasn’t you. It could never be you.

Truly a good question

“We. How are we meant to get through this,” he corrected you. “And we do that one day at a time,” he said, like it was so simple. “Aren’t you already used to this?” you asked. It was the life you imagined he grew up with thanks to his dad. “I’m used to my lifestyle, but you’re out of your depth and I’m not used to this as being part of a couple. I’ve been selfish in how I’ve tried to ease you into this,” he said. You tried not to gape at him since he hadn’t eased you into anything at all. “But you’re home now and we’ll figure this out.”

Urgh that's actually really sweet of him

You pondered his words. Maybe he wasn’t trying to control you now that you were home. He was concerned for your well being. “We have to find common ground,” you whispered. It was already going to be a life sentence being by his side, and you couldn’t live your life as a prisoner.

Uff the last sentence really hit

“Yeah. No one ever put their hands on me like this before and I want to be able to defend myself if it happens again,” you explained, hearing Bucky’s swift intake of breath. Maybe he could keep you safe, but you needed to help yourself however you could. “Natasha or one of her girls teaching me will be better than some guy.”

I think that's a good idea, also gives some control back to her

Turning your gaze toward the ceiling once he left you alone, you tried to quiet the sudden screaming in your mind. You wanted answers from Clark, from Zemo. You also fought the urge to tell him to quickly come back. Why was his presence suddenly soothing when you were still so upset?

👀

“Of course. My apologies.” To her credit, she didn't look the least bit afraid or put off. She was either used to Bucky’s antics or used to difficult patients.

Probably both lol

Dr. Cho didn't take her eyes off you. “Would you prefer to speak with just me?” she asked, cutting Bucky off with a single glare when he opened his mouth to argue. “I know you didn't put your hands on her. I just want her to be comfortable.”

Dr. Cho is a good one 🫶🏻

Curtis took a step into the room at that point and your nerves crept up when you glanced at Bucky. His nostrils flared and his metal hand curled so tight so you hear the gears turn. You squeezed his hand in the hope that it would ease some of the tension. Maybe it was to soothe the both of you. “Breathe,” you whispered.

I live that it mirrors how Bucky calmed her down before with the same reminder

Dr. Cho leaned in a little once Bucky left the room. “Is there anything else you want to tell me? Anything at all?” Her voice was quiet, casual, but there was something in her eyes that said she wasn’t just asking about this incident. Was she trying to help or was this a sick test to prove your loyalty? With Curtis nearby and being in Bucky’s penthouse, you wouldn’t risk it. “I just want to get some rest and recover from what happened,” you answered. The doctor nodded after a minute. “If you do want to talk-”

Omg I just wanna give Dr. Cho a hug!! She is the first one to truly question Bucky and his authority, I applaud her for doing the right thing even if in this situation the cards are stacked against her 👏🏻

“No, I don’t. She’s one of the best doctors there is. I think she has patched us all up at some point,” he answered, bringing the snack to your lips and smiling once you took a bite. “But she’s similar to you in a sense that she has a good heart, so she isn’t always comfortable with some of what goes on.”

100% valid on her part lol

Taking a breath, you let your eyes close and gasped when his lips touched each eyelid.

Surprised would not even describe what I would feel in that moment

Bucky’s face fell. “I promise I’m not trying to overwhelm you. I only wanted your day to end on a good note for you.”

That's such a sweet thought

It was meant to be a good day, and a wonderful time with your friends. “You built me my own library?” “I wanted you to have a sanctuary in our home. A space just for you,” he explained, running a hand along the back of the couch. “None of my men are allowed in here and I have to ask permission before I come in.”

She deserves and needs this just for her!

You slowly looked around. “So, you redesigned the room connected to the panic room to give to me?” you asked. “I told you your safety matters above all else,” he said, holding a hand out for you. You took it after slightly hesitating. The fact that he gave up what was likely one of the safest rooms in the entire penthouse in order for you to have a sanctuary made your head spin. “I had the combination changed to your birthday.”

What a sentiment to his concerns

“You really are prepared, aren’t you?” you asked. “Prepared, yes, but I had nothing to lose before,” he said, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. He barely grazed your skin, almost testing to see if you’d flinch. “I have everything to lose now.”

He is so in love

He leaned in and your heart raced, but you didn’t feel trapped. Not this time. “You’re worth everything and more,” he whispered. “Boss?” Curtis called out from the hall before Bucky could kiss you.

Haha impeccable timing 🤭

“I just wanted to say thank you for helping me tonight,” you said. He looked stunned. Did Bucky or the others not express gratitude toward him? “I don’t know if I can ever repay you for that.”

I feel like Bucky is not a big thank you person lol

You smiled softly. “Do you like brownies? It isn’t much, but I do make a decent batch of brownies and it would be a small token of gratitude.” Curtis and Bucky both looked stunned. “You’re offering him brownies?” Bucky asked, glaring at the other man. “I haven’t had her brownies yet.” “I like brownies,” Curtis said. You smothered a giggle when the dangerous man pouted. “Oh, don’t pout. I didn’t say you wouldn’t get any. Curtis just gets the first try,” you said, poking Bucky’s arm. “And maybe I haven’t had a chance to make them because you’ve been so busy tailoring my schedule to your liking.” “I like her, boss. She’s a keeper.”

Haha I love Curtis already 🤭

Hold You Tight: Part 21

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 20 | Series Masterlist | Part 22

Chapter Word Count: Over 3.4k

Chapter Summary: Bucky shows you something after the doctor looks you over.

Chapter Warnings: Aftermath of physical assault, tension, mention of violence and threats, inner turmoil, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight and I feel like this chapter is short. Thank you again for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo. ❤��� Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-in-darkness . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky rubbed your back, occasionally whispering sweet words when you didn't speak. After your exhausting cry fest, you resorted to sniffles and sighs. You wanted to hide away, which seemed cowardly. It was only fair after what you went through, but you also wanted to face the world. You were torn, and it was tiring.

“Hey,” Bucky whispered when your eyes slipped shut. “I know you're tired, but I need you to try to stay awake for me, okay?”

“And for Dr. Cho,” you said. It was probably good to stay awake in case you were showing any signs of a concussion. What sort of questions would she ask? How involved was she in Bucky’s world? “Where's Curtis?” you asked. You owed him a thank you at some point. Ray and Steve, too. Messed up situation or not they deserved a bit of your gratitude, right?

“He’s waiting to bring her up.”

“I’m surprised you didn't have Ray bring us back,” you commented. You were used to him being the one close by, and Bucky didn't seem to bring a lot of his other men around his place. At least not that you were aware of.

“Between you and I, Curtis isn't a huge fan of most of my friends. The less time he spends with them the better his mood is.” If you didn't know any better, you’d say Bucky sounded amused. You were also curious why Curtis still worked for him if he didn't like the crowd he ran with. “But he’ll go to the club with me later. He deserves to get the first hit in since he pulled that bastard off of you.”

Your stomach turned, but you felt better knowing he wouldn’t force you to go to the club considering he didn’t even want to say Clark’s name. “What are you going to do to him?”

You didn’t mean to shiver at the frost in his eyes, but you did. How could a look be so cold? “I’m not sure you want the details,” he replied. You weren't sure you wanted to know either. “What I can tell you is that he’s going to suffer and wish he was dead.”

You shivered again. “How am I meant to get used to this lifestyle?” you asked. You followed the rules of society like a normal person, but Bucky made his own rules. He wasn’t afraid to use his influence or violence to get what he wanted in life. He was almost shameless in it and how he manipulated people around him. That wasn’t you. It could never be you.

“We. How are we meant to get through this,” he corrected you. “And we do that one day at a time,” he said, like it was so simple.

“Aren’t you already used to this?” you asked. It was the life you imagined he grew up with thanks to his dad.

“I’m used to my lifestyle, but you’re out of your depth and I’m not used to this as being part of a couple. I’ve been selfish in how I’ve tried to ease you into this,” he said. You tried not to gape at him since he hadn’t eased you into anything at all. “But you’re home now and we’ll figure this out.”

“Does figuring things out mean you brush off what I ask for? Like going to work tomorrow?” you asked. It wasn’t wrong of you to want a normal day. Weren’t you owed that much?

He sighed, but it wasn’t out of annoyance. “I wasn’t trying to brush you off, Kotyonok. You went through something terrible tonight, and I thought staying home to rest and relax was the better option.”

You pondered his words. Maybe he wasn’t trying to control you now that you were home. He was concerned for your well being. “We have to find common ground,” you whispered. It was already going to be a life sentence being by his side, and you couldn’t live your life as a prisoner.

“Is that really a discussion you want to have tonight?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your forehead when you glared. “I’m not saying that to insult you or dismiss your feelings. I just think tomorrow might be a better time to discuss it so we can both process everything.”

You didn’t want to say he was right. So much of what you had been through was because of his actions, but he was frightened by what happened, too. “I do want to say that Natasha offered to teach me self defense, and I think I’ll take her up on that.”

“You want Natasha to teach you?” he asked.

“Yeah. No one ever put their hands on me like this before and I want to be able to defend myself if it happens again,” you explained, hearing Bucky’s swift intake of breath. Maybe he could keep you safe, but you needed to help yourself however you could. “Natasha or one of her girls teaching me will be better than some guy.”

If some guy put you on your back the way Clark did who knew how you’d react. The way Bucky’s eyes darkened he didn’t want another guy touching you either. “As long as I can teach you how to use a gun and a knife.”

“A gun and a knife?” you asked before his phone went off.

“That should be Curtis and Dr. Cho. I’ll be right back.”

Turning your gaze toward the ceiling once he left you alone, you tried to quiet the sudden screaming in your mind. You wanted answers from Clark, from Zemo. You also fought the urge to tell him to quickly come back. Why was his presence suddenly soothing when you were still so upset?

You sat up when you heard footsteps followed by a gentle call of your name. “Hello. I’m Dr. Cho.” The gentle but strong voice matched the demeanor of the woman who entered the room. Bucky followed a couple of steps behind, and Curtis lingered in the doorway. “I understand you've been through quite the ordeal this evening.”

“She was attacked,” Bucky snarled, moving beside you again as the doctor set her bag down. “That’s a lot more than just some ordeal.”

“Bucky,” you whispered. The doctor meant no offense or harm.

“Of course. My apologies.” To her credit, she didn't look the least bit afraid or put off. She was either used to Bucky’s antics or used to difficult patients. “Can you please tell me your name and date of birth?”

You answered the question easily, but didn’t say anything else as she checked your heartbeat and blood pressure. She wasn’t your normal doctor, so it wasn’t like she had access to your medical records. Did she?

“And can you tell me what happened tonight?”

Your eyes flickered to Bucky and Curtis. Both were watching you with a mixture of anger and sympathy. “Well…” It took a moment to really begin. “Cl… A man was waiting for me when I got back to my apartment. I told him to leave, but…”

“Breathe,” Bucky whispered, taking your hand and silently urging you to continue whenever you were ready.

You wanted to breathe normally and not think about Clark or anything else.

Dr. Cho didn't take her eyes off you. “Would you prefer to speak with just me?” she asked, cutting Bucky off with a single glare when he opened his mouth to argue. “I know you didn't put your hands on her. I just want her to be comfortable.”

“It's okay,” you said. Even if you wanted to speak to the doctor alone you knew Bucky would hover nearby. “He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back hard enough that I fell to the ground,” you continued, showing her so she could look it over. “I may have hit my head when that happened.”

She turned your wrist over, looking for swelling or tenderness as you tested your mobility. It didn’t hurt as much as it had earlier, which had to be a good sign. “Have you been experiencing any nausea? Trouble thinking? Sensitivity to light?” she asked, getting a small flashlight to check your eyes.

“No, I think I’m okay,” you replied.

“Did anything else happen?”

“He choked me,” you said above a whisper, skipping over the fact that he put a hand on your thigh. Nothing had actually happened.

“Everything he did to you, I’m going to make it a hundred times worse,” Bucky said through his teeth.

Curtis took a step into the room at that point and your nerves crept up when you glanced at Bucky. His nostrils flared and his metal hand curled so tight so you hear the gears turn. You squeezed his hand in the hope that it would ease some of the tension. Maybe it was to soothe the both of you.

“Breathe,” you whispered.

Anger remained on his face when he took a deep breath. You didn’t think he’d fully calm down until he took his aggression out on Clark. And what about Zemo, if he was really involved?

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” the doctor said, handing you a tissue before she checked your throat. When did tears fill your eyes again? “Are you experiencing any chest pains? Difficulty breathing?”

“I’m fine,” you whispered.

“And the man who did this to you, is he-”

“I’m handling it,” Bucky said, leaving no room to argue.

The doctor barely concealed a sigh, the only crack in her cool demeanor. “Understood,” she whispered, finishing her exam. Maybe she was aware of some of what Bucky did, but didn’t approve. “No broken bones or anything of that nature, but you may feel sore tomorrow. Do you have any allergies?”

“I’m not allergic to pain meds if that’s what you're asking.”

“Well, I recommend you rest tomorrow. If you start to feel anything out of the ordinary, I want to know right away so we can take you to the hospital if necessary.”

You sighed. If the doctor was telling you to rest, there was no way Bucky would let you out of the penthouse for work. “I’ll rest tomorrow.”

“And could someone please get her a snack and some water? I’d like to make sure she can keep food down,” she said.

“I’ll get it,” Bucky offered before Curtis could move.

Dr. Cho leaned in a little once Bucky left the room. “Is there anything else you want to tell me? Anything at all?”

Her voice was quiet, casual, but there was something in her eyes that said she wasn’t just asking about this incident. Was she trying to help or was this a sick test to prove your loyalty? With Curtis nearby and being in Bucky’s penthouse, you wouldn’t risk it. “I just want to get some rest and recover from what happened,” you answered.

The doctor nodded after a minute. “If you do want to talk-”

“I got your favorite,” Bucky announced, deliberately inserting himself between you and Dr. Cho. “So, she’s okay by your standards?”

“Yes, overall,” she said after a moment. “But I want to make sure-”

“I’ll make sure she can keep food down and I’ll call if anything changes,” he smiled, nodding over to Curtis. “He’ll show you out.”

You furrowed your brows. Why was he dismissing her so swiftly after making such a fuss over having you looked over? “I appreciate you taking the time to come here. Thank you.”

The doctor gave you a smile as she packed up. “You’re very kind,” she said, daring to look at Bucky again. “I’ll be expecting a call if anything changes.”

Bucky’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “My girl is a lot stronger than she believes herself to be, but I take her health very seriously. If something changes, you’ll know.”

Tension spiked before the doctor gave you a nod and brushed past Curtis. The man quickly turned to follow her, leaving you and Bucky alone once again. “Do you have a problem with Dr. Cho?” you asked.

“No, I don’t. She’s one of the best doctors there is. I think she has patched us all up at some point,” he answered, bringing the snack to your lips and smiling once you took a bite. “But she’s similar to you in a sense that she has a good heart, so she isn’t always comfortable with some of what goes on.”

That could’ve been why you sensed that she wasn’t just asking you about this evening. Maybe she was looking for a way to help. “Do you trust her?”

“I trust that she’ll do what she’s told,” he replied.

You had trouble swallowing the next bite at those words. People were under his thumb whether they wanted to be or not. “From the little I know of her, she seems like a good doctor.”

“Always seeing the best in everyone,” he smiled. That wasn’t going to change. “Can I show you something now that you’re home that’s kind of important? I can carry you if you can't walk.”

You raised an eyebrow. “I think I can manage. What would you like to show me?” you asked. If he pulled his pants down…

He made sure he had the rest of the snack and water in one hand, helping you up with the other. “Do you remember how I said last night that I didn’t want you wandering into the den because I was having it redone?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. You hadn’t gone off to explore anyway since you went to the living room and ended up riding his thigh.

“Well, it was pretty much done. Before I beat the shit out of the guy following us this morning, I had one last finishing touch done,” he explained, slowly walking you down the hall. “Are you feeling okay? It doesn’t bother you to walk?”

“I’m fine,” you said, almost forgetting that he had already beat someone up today. It seemed so long ago. “But I don’t understand why you’re showing me this if I should be-”

He pressed a finger to your lips. “Close your eyes, Kotyonok. Please.”

Taking a breath, you let your eyes close and gasped when his lips touched each eyelid. You let him take your hand and guide you forward. And wasn’t this how it had been since the beginning? Doing what Bucky wanted even when you fought it?

“Open your eyes,” he whispered.

It took a second for your eyes to adjust to the brightness in the room. Your heart swelled as you looked around, the warm glow making you smile. Books lined the walls, and the couch and chairs were tailored to your comfort and style. There was even a nook by the window and blankets.

“You…” You blinked away the sudden tears.

Bucky’s face fell. “I promise I’m not trying to overwhelm you. I only wanted your day to end on a good note for you.”

It was meant to be a good day, and a wonderful time with your friends. “You built me my own library?”

“I wanted you to have a sanctuary in our home. A space just for you,” he explained, running a hand along the back of the couch. “None of my men are allowed in here and I have to ask permission before I come in.”

Your mouth fell open. Was he serious? “So, if I want to be alone and I come here, you can’t come in if I say no?”

He nodded solemnly. “If that’s what you want.”

You could hardly believe it. Was this space truly your own? “It’s beautiful,” you said, taking another look around. For a second, you felt like you were living in part of Beauty and the Beast. “Thank you.”

Bucky beamed at you, almost as bright as the light in the room. “There’s one more thing,” he said, setting the water and snack down. He pressed a discreet button by one of the shelves, which opened to reveal a metal door.

“Is that…”

“It’s a panic room,” he said, pressing four numbers into the keypad before that door slid open. “When I had the penthouse constructed, it was one of the first things I had put in. Can never be too careful, right?”

You slowly looked around. “So, you redesigned the room connected to the panic room to give to me?” you asked.

“I told you your safety matters above all else,” he said, holding a hand out for you. You took it after slightly hesitating. The fact that he gave up what was likely one of the safest rooms in the entire penthouse in order for you to have a sanctuary made your head spin. “I had the combination changed to your birthday.”

You took a look inside, your mouth falling open again. You weren’t sure what to expect, but the space looked like another small den. It had a couch, a television, a fridge and microwave. It even had a bed.

“You really are prepared, aren’t you?” you asked.

“Prepared, yes, but I had nothing to lose before,” he said, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. He barely grazed your skin, almost testing to see if you’d flinch. “I have everything to lose now.”

“Am I really worth that much?” you asked. More than the power he wielded, more than his wealth?

He leaned in and your heart raced, but you didn’t feel trapped. Not this time. “You’re worth everything and more,” he whispered.

“Boss?” Curtis called out from the hall before Bucky could kiss you.

You dipped your head down, both of you letting out a breath. “I should finish my snack and get some rest,” you said. You needed it. “But, really, thank you. This is very special to me.”

It didn’t make up for what happened, but maybe it was a start of something new. You didn’t want to dwell on that tonight. You were too emotional, too tired, too vulnerable.

“I want you to be happy here,” he whispered, opting to kiss your forehead since your lips were out of reach. “I should see what Curtis wants.”

“Oh, I want to say something to him,” you said, pulling away from Bucky before he could stop you. “Curtis?” you asked, spotting him just outside of the den.

The man leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. “Yeah?”

“I just wanted to say thank you for helping me tonight,” you said. He looked stunned. Did Bucky or the others not express gratitude toward him? “I don’t know if I can ever repay you for that.”

“Nothing to pay me back for.” He cleared his throat. “Just doing my job.”

You smiled softly. “Do you like brownies? It isn’t much, but I do make a decent batch of brownies and it would be a small token of gratitude.”

Curtis and Bucky both looked stunned. “You’re offering him brownies?” Bucky asked, glaring at the other man. “I haven’t had her brownies yet.”

“I like brownies,” Curtis said.

You smothered a giggle when the dangerous man pouted. “Oh, don’t pout. I didn’t say you wouldn’t get any. Curtis just gets the first try,” you said, poking Bucky’s arm. “And maybe I haven’t had a chance to make them because you’ve been so busy tailoring my schedule to your liking.”

“I like her, boss. She’s a keeper.”

Bucky breathed through his nose. “Why the fuck did you call for me?”

“Thor’s getting antsy.” He rolled his eyes. “Wants to know when you’re heading over.”

“I can’t leave you by yourself and I don’t want to drag you to the club,” Bucky said.

You knew he wouldn’t leave you alone and there was no way he would leave Curtis or Ray or another man there with you, at least not tonight. “What about Natasha? Can she come over? If not, maybe I can get a nap in the club office.”

“But-”

“You said for them to shut the club down, so it’s not like music or the lights will bother me. And this way I’ll be close by,” you said. And it wasn’t like they’d beat Clark up right in front of you.

“Maybe,” Bucky said, flexing his fingers when his phone went off. “If that’s Thor…”

You could hear his teeth grind as he read the screen. “What is it?”

“It’s Zemo,” he said, your stomach dropping. “And he wants to talk.”

How long before Bucky answers Zemo? And what do we think of the library? Is he leaving you at home or taking you to the club? ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[echstacy00]

one more chance: ex!jake x reader

your friends had shamed you countless times for taking him back. over and over, you’d let him back into your life, only to have him slip through your fingers again. they told you he didn’t deserve you—that you were only setting yourself up to get hurt. and you believed them, at least for a while. you were done this time. you had to be.

jake’s friends had shamed him too. over drinks, during late-night hangouts, they’d called him an idiot to his face. how the hell did you fumble her like that? you’ll never find another girl like her. jake knew they were right. he knew what he’d lost. and he hated himself for it.

you heard the knock at your door before you even saw the name flash across your phone screen.

jake.

a couple of hours ago, he’d texted you.

ignore!: can we talk? please. just five minutes, baby.

you shut it down immediately. left him on read. it was better this way—cleaner. he’d had his chances. too many of them. you weren’t about to give him another one just because he suddenly realized he missed you.

but apparently, leaving him on read wasn’t enough of a message. because now he was at your door, knocking like his life depended on it.

“please… open the door,” his voice broke through the thin wood, low and strained.

you sighed, squeezing your eyes shut. your heart was already beating too fast, traitorous and weak. you should ignore him. but your hand was already on the doorknob before you could think twice.

you cracked the door open, just enough to see him.

and god—he looked wrecked. his hair was messy, his lips dry, his eyes rimmed red. he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. his hand was pressed against the doorframe, his knuckles white. when he saw you, his breath hitched.

“baby,” he whispered.

you forced your face to stay neutral. “what are you doing here?”

jake’s eyes softened, but he still looked tortured. “i can’t… i can’t do this anymore.” his hand slid down the doorframe, like he was holding himself up. “it’s been a week and i— i can’t think straight. i can’t sleep. i can’t breathe without you.”

you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “yeah? well maybe you should’ve thought about that before you started acting like i didn’t matter.”

jake’s jaw clenched. his eyes glistened under the dim hallway light. “i know. i know i messed up.” his voice cracked. “i thought i had more time. i thought you’d always be there, but… you’re not.” his hand curled into a fist against the frame. “and now it feels like i’m losing my mind.”

you swallowed hard, your throat tight. “sounds like a personal problem.”

“baby please,” he breathed almost begging at this point, stepping closer. his eyes darkened, his lips parting slightly. “just give me one more chance. please. i swear i’ll do better this time. i’ll treat you the way you deserve.”

your arms tightened around yourself, but you didn’t step back. jake noticed. his gaze flicked down to your mouth, lingering there.

“you said that before,” you murmured.

his hand brushed the edge of the door, fingers ghosting over yours. “i know,” he said. “but this time i mean it. just… give me one night. one chance to prove it to you.”

your pulse hammered. his hand slid higher, brushing your wrist now, so gentle it made your breath catch.

“and if i say no?” you asked quietly.

jake’s eyes darkened. his lips curled into the smallest, most desperate smile. “then i’ll leave.” his hand drifted to your cheek, his thumb brushing along your jaw. “but if you say yes… i’ll spend the rest of my life making sure you don’t regret it.”

the silence between you buzzed. he was close enough now that his breath was warm against your lips. you hated how badly you still wanted him. how easy it would be to let him back in.

“let me in, baby,” he whispered. “please.”

you hesitated—only for a second—before stepping back, letting the door open just enough for him to slip inside.

jake’s eyes darkened the moment you let him in. the door barely clicked shut before his hand slid to the back of your neck, his forehead resting against yours.

“you have no idea how much i’ve missed you,” he whispered, his lips brushing against your jaw. his breath was warm against your skin, and when his hand slipped down to your waist, you didn’t stop him.

“show me,” you whispered.

jake’s breath caught. his hand tightened on your waist. his mouth hovered over yours for a split second—just long enough to make you crave it—before he kissed you.

it wasn’t soft. it wasn’t careful. it was desperate. the kind of kiss that said i’m sorry and i need you all at once. his hand curled into the fabric at your waist, tugging you closer, and when you sighed against his mouth, jake groaned low in his throat.

you hated how much you still wanted him.

but not enough to stop.

jake’s hand slid from your waist to the small of your back, pressing you closer until there wasn’t even air between you. his mouth moved against yours, rough and desperate, like he was scared you might slip away if he let up even for a second.

your hands found his chest, fisting the fabric of his shirt as you kissed him back just as hard. his breath hitched when your nails dragged against his skin through the thin material, and his grip on your waist tightened.

tears welled in your eyes before you could stop them, spilling over as you pulled back, just barely.

jake’s eyes widened when he saw your tears. “baby…” he whispered, his thumb brushing your cheek. “hey… hey, don’t cry.” his hand slid to the back of your neck, his forehead pressing to yours. “please, baby..fuck- im sorry—”

“then why’d you let me go?” your voice cracked, raw and quiet.

jake’s eyes squeezed shut, his jaw clenching. his hand slid up your back, his thumb brushing the nape of your neck. “because i was a fucking idiot.” his voice was low and rough, his breath coming faster. “i thought i was doing the right thing—thought maybe you’d be better off without me.” his hand slipped down to your waist again, his thumb dragging over the bare skin under your shirt. his eyes burned into yours. “but i was wrong.”

you swallowed hard. his lips hovered over yours again, so close you could taste the heat of his breath.

“yeah,” you murmured. “you were.”

jake’s lips parted, his gaze dropping to your mouth.

you lifted your chin, your lips brushing against his. “you’re all talk.”

jake’s breath caught, and then his mouth crashed against yours. his hand slid down to the back of your thigh, and before you could even process it, he was lifting you. you gasped against his mouth, wrapping your legs around his waist as he pressed you back against the wall.

“you think i’m all talk?” he growled, his mouth hot against your jawline. his teeth scraped against your skin, making your breath hitch. “you think i don’t mean it?”

“jake…”

“let me prove it,” he murmured, his lips brushing the spot beneath your ear. his breath was ragged, his hands sliding beneath your shirt, his cold fingertips pressing into your hot skin. “let me show you how much i missed you.”

you tangled your hands in his hair, tugging him down. you kissed him hard, teeth catching on his bottom lip, and jake groaned low in his throat.

“you’re not getting rid of me this time,” he breathed. “you’re mine.”

you shivered. “show me,” you whispered.

jake’s lips curled against your skin.

“gladly.”

his mouth pressed to yours again, slower this time��deeper. his hands slid down your sides, grounding you as his lips moved against yours like he had all the time in the world.

“you’re mine,” he murmured, his breath hot against your mouth. “forever.”

you sighed into him nodding your head, your arms tightening around his neck as he kissed you like he was trying to make up for every second you’d spent apart.

you hated how easy it was to fall back into him. but you loved it too.

jake’s hand slipped beneath your shirt again, his fingertips brushing the bare skin of your back.

“this time,” he breathed, his lips trailing down your jaw, “i’m not letting go.”

and as his hands slid lower, his breath hot against your neck, you realized you were going to have a field day explaining to your friends how the cycle repeated itself. again.

please do not motify my works.

© echstacy 2025 - all rights reserved.

[shigayokagayama]

hello!! i just saw your post about teru’s character arc and dynamic w/ mob and was blown away - i never EVER noticed the heart eye panel. i was curious if you had a deep character analysis of teru/would be willing to share your opinions on teru’s arc? at risk of sounding completely media illiterate i feel like most of teru’s arc went completely over my head watching the anime and i would be curious to hear your thoughts (if you would like to share)!

oh it's totally not your fault, a lot of teru's arc was already pretty subtextual in the manga and the anime cuts a lot of the small details that give you the context to put the whole thing together

im gonna put my own interpretation of his arc under the cut because i could literally talk about this kid for years

ok so basically, teru's starting point as a character is "im special and important because of my powers because i have to be special and important or my life is empty and meaningless"

the entire construction of his social life; his overachieving in sports, his popularity, his place as the shadow leader of a middle school gang- all of that exists to prop himself up as the main character of the world and distract himself from how crushingly empty and devoid of connections his life is. hence-

this fight is what dismantles the idea that his powers make him uniquely special and enlightened, but it doesnt really do anything to actually built an internal sense of self confidence. his realization that he is an ordinary person doesnt come with "and that's okay because everyone is", it's just a reshuffle of the heirarchy he has viewed the world as. now instead of himself > everyone, it's mob > himself > everyone.

the fact that he knows special powers don't make him special is his new point of false confidence- he isnt uniquely enlightened because he has special powers, he's uniquely enlightened because he knows those powers don't make him special

and while the 7th division arc serves some challenging of this worldview, it's not really until wd arc that it actually gets dismantled.

to...

BUT this isnt the end of it. teru's notion that he is uniquely special and important has, by this point, been thoroughly dismantled. however....

other people....

by necessity no growth can really occur within broccoli arc for anyone but mob and dimple. since everyones memories of this arc get wiped, it serves as a good setup for where everyone's characters arcs are left to go before we get into confession arc. teru has been left in a place where, while his place in the "special and important people" hierarchy has been dropped, this has left mob at the top of an unreachable pedestal. dimple's prior efforts to convert teru through force, with the cookies and insisting himself as god, were fruitless. being controlled like that only made him angry. it was only through teru's idolization of mob that he was able to replace himself in that already existing spot in teru's psyche

so going into confession arc, teru has this unshakable, almost literally godlike image of mob in his head, which leads him to the same mistake so many people in this arc have to work through.

this isnt him. he's perfect. he doesn't make mistakes. he would never lash out and hurt anyone. he would never-

once civilians are in the picture is the moment it clicks for him. and then we get this wonderful mirror that kills me to think about.

so many of the parallels in these fights (which. i dont feel like finding all of them) culminate in this. because ultimately, they are very similar conflicts. both represent the dissolution of their respective personas. confession arc is a crossroads in mob's brain: to spend the rest of his life restraining his powers and- by extension, his identity- for the sake of other people, or to let his powers run wild and push away all these people whom he sees as only liking the fake him ("mob").

the breaking point, murderous intent, the point at which this fight goes from simply trying to push the other way/push the other into fighting back, is the assertion of the other's normalness. teru pushes back with the violence of a commoner, mob pushes back with violence that can only be exerted by an esper. teru cannot accept his powers do not make him uniquely amazing, mob cannot accept his do not make him uniquely horrible- uniquely despicable- uniquely unlovable.

which brings us to heart eye panel.

because this is the moment that teru sees mob for who he truly is- for a human being with flaws who's capable of having ugly emotions and losing control and lashing out- and still loves him.

and through this teru, despite his uglier emotions, despite whatever he's done in the past, is a person who is capable of being loved. he doesnt need to be the best esper or the best at sports or the best in his class to stand out, to be paid attention, to form genuine connections.

the people close to you will love you despite your flaws, will understand when you're going through hard times, will offer support even when you push them away. they dont just love the perfect image of you you try to present, the non confrontational person who doesnt speak out for themselves, or the overachiever who's always good at everything. they love you.

[nahoney22]

Liar Liar (part 5/?)

🫧 Part Five - I’ll Take My Whisky Neat // <<< Part Four

🫧 Pairings: Commander Fox X Female Reader

🫧 word count: 2.1k

🫧 Chapter Summary: When 'Whisky' reveals he needs to tell you something, your mind and heart gets tangled in knots. Meanwhile the Corrie Guard have other pressing matters on their hands.

🫧 Warnings: safe for work, of course more lying, flirting, lap sitting, talks about the future, fluff.

The conversation flowed easily between you. With him, you just felt completely at ease, like the rest of the galaxy didn’t exist and it was just you two.

Whisky’s posture had relaxed, his shoulders no longer tense, and his gaze was warm as he watched you tell a story. “I’m serious,” you said, grinning as you leaned back on your hands, “I thought we were done for. Thire was ready to throw us under the bus, too.”

He chuckled, his eyes lighting up with amusement. “Thire? Really?”

“Oh yeah,” you laughed, remembering the way Thire had panicked. “We were hiding behind some crates after we, uh… accidentally set off a alarm. Stone was trying not to laugh, and Thire was swearing a bunch and threatened to tell Fox everything if he caught us.” You shook your head, a fond smile on your face at one of many chaotic days. “We heard his boots coming down the hall, and I’ve never seen Thire go so clammy in my life.”

Whisky’s eyes widened, a look of surprise flickering across his face before he burst out. “I can’t believe you were causing trouble with the Coruscant Guard,” he teased, his shoulders shaking as he tried to contain his laughter. “No wonder Fox is always so grumpy.”

You rolled your eyes, nudging his shoulder playfully. “It wasn’t even that bad! Just a little prank gone wrong.” You sighed dramatically, a mischievous glint in your eyes. “It’s not my fault Fox has no sense of humour.”

He shook his head, though amused. “Probably because you’re all trouble, you know that?”

You grinned, your eyes twinkling. “I like to keep things interesting.”

His expression softened, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. “I’ll bet you do.”

A comfortable silence settled between you, the two of you simply enjoying each other’s presence. It felt… right. Easy. Like you could spend hours here just talking and laughing with him.

But then his fingers started drumming against his thigh again, a sign you were starting to recognise as nerves. His gaze grew distant, his shoulders tensing slightly. “You know…” he started, his voice lower now, “I think I get why Fox is so protective of you.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Why’s that?”

He hesitated, his jaw clenching as his eyes flicked to the ground. “You’re important. To a lot of people. I don’t think he realised it.”

Your chest tightened, his words stirring something deep inside you. It was as if Fox was saying it staright to you.

“I don’t know about that.” You looked away, suddenly feeling shy. “I just try to be there for them. Like they are for me.”

“Do you think that, uh, Fox, thinks you’re there for him? Like you are with Stone and Thire I mean.” Your brows knit together as you sit up and look at him. “You sure like to ask alot of questions about Fox, y’know? Any reason.”

“N-No.” He stutters quickly. “Just simply asking.”

“Alright, alright,” you raise your hands up in defence, hoping he didn’t take it to heart but you can’t help but notice the topic of Fox quite a lot. “Well, to answer your question: I don’t know. I’ve tried joking here and there with him a few times but there’s no knocking down that wall he built.”

“Wall?” You nod. “Sure. He’s one of the most elite Commanders in the GAR. He doesn’t have time for fun and games.” You then roll your eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh.”

Whisky, or should we say Fox, feels his stomach twist. You weren’t bad-mouthing him, but there’s a clear divide between him, yourself and his brothers. Kark, maybe he did have to lighten up after all this.

“Anyway, enough about him.” You hum, your fingers gliding through the glades of grass. “Any more crazy stories from your side of the Guard?”

“Ah, nothing that exciting. Mostly just…fixing things.”

You scrunched your nose. “Boring.”

He laughed this time, but the slight tension in his posture lingered. “Yeah, guess I’m just not as much of a troublemaker as you.”

You gasped in mock offence, placing a hand over your heart. “How dare you? I’ll have you know I’m a model citizen.”

He arched an eyebrow, his lips curling into a smirk. “Right… remind me again who set off an alarm and hid behind crates?”

You stuck your tongue out at him, unable to hide your grin. “Fine. Maybe just a little trouble.”

You loved the way his face lit up when he laughed. He was far too handsome for his own good.

His laughter soon faded, his gaze growing thoughtful as he looked at you. “Hey, do you remember at 79’s, when you asked me what I wanted to do after the war?”

You blinked, the memory surfacing. “Yeah, I remember. You said you didn’t know… that you hadn’t thought about it much.”

“I think I’ve figured it out now.”

Curiosity sparked in you, and you leaned in, giving him your full attention. “And what’s that?”

He hesitated, but then his expression softened, his eyes growing distant. “I want to settle down… find somewhere quiet. Have a home and a wife. Maybe even some kids, if I’m lucky.”

Your heart skipped a beat, his confession hitting you harder than you expected. It was such a simple dream, but coming from him, it felt so personal and real. “That sounds nice, Whisky. Really nice.”

His gaze lifted, eyes locking with yours, and for a moment, you swore his walls were completely down. You could see everything he was feeling—the hope, the fear, the longing.

A teasing smile plays on your lips. “So, do you have a wife in mind yet?”

His eyes widened, his face flushing with warmth. “W-What? No… I mean…” He stumbled over his words, a nervous laugh escaping him. “I didn’t… I wasn’t saying… No.”

You laughed, the sound echoing through the quiet meadow. “Relax, I was only jokin’.” You tilt your head back, the sun warm on your face. “But…” you say slowly, sneaking a peak at him mischievously, "if there was a candidate, what would she be like?”

He swallowed, his eyes flicking back to you before he looked away, scratching at the back of his neck. “Well, she’d probably be strong. Brave and loyal. Funny, too.”

You tilted your head, watching him as he spoke. “Sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot.”

A shy smile tugged at his lips. “Only quite recently.”

You felt bold then, the teasing glint in his eyes sparking something in you. 

There was a moment of hesitance but the two of you were alone, the situation felt right. 

Shifting onto your knees, you moved toward him, his eyes widening as you straddled his lap, settling down with a casual confidence you didn’t quite feel. His hands instinctively went to your waist, his fingers digging into the fabric of your shirt as his breath hitched.

You leaned in, your face so close you could feel his warmth, “What else?”

His eyes were wide, his grip on your waist tightening. He was speechless, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to form words as his whole body grew warm.

You grinned, loving the way you had him completely flustered. “C’mon, Whisky… what else does the perfect girl have?”

Fox swallowed hard, his voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking too loudly might shatter the fragile moment between you. “She’s beautiful. Kind. She makes me feel… normal.” His gaze flickered downward, lingering on your lips for just a second too long. “And I’d do anything to protect her.”

Your breath hitched, his words settling deep in your chest, making your heart pound against your ribs. You felt the heat of his body beneath your hands, the steady, powerful thrum of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips as they trailed from his chest to his shoulders.

“It’s strange,” you murmured, tilting your head as your fingers toyed with the edge of his hood. He didn’t stop you as you slowly pushed it back, revealing the sharp lines of his face, the soft streaks of silver in his hair. Your fingertips brushed lightly over his skin, tracing the faint scars along his jaw before threading into his hair. Your touch was reverent, as if trying to commit every inch of him to memory.

“I feel like I know you,” you whispered, eyes locking onto his, searching for something unspoken. “Really… really know you.”

Fox’s mind was a battlefield, a war waging between duty and desire, between truth and deception. But all of that faded into the back of his mind as he looked at you and the unguarded moment between the two of you. You were so close, warm and trusting, pressed against him in a way that made him forget, just for a second, that this was all built on a lie.

He exhaled shakily, his forehead brushing against yours, his breath warm against your lips.

“Maybe you do,” he murmured.

You didn’t quite understand what he meant, but you didn’t care. You were too caught up in the way his fingers skimmed along your waist, the way his hands pressed against the small of your back, drawing you in as if he was afraid to let go. The moment was intoxicating, pulling you in deeper, drowning you in everything that was him .

You leaned in, your lips just a whisper away—

And then he stiffened.

It was subtle, barely noticeable, but it was enough. 

Then, he pulled back. Just a fraction. 

“I can’t.”

The words were a cold splash of reality against your skin. Your eyes fluttered open, searching his face, your stomach twisting into a painful knot.

“S-Sorry,” you stammered, retreating slightly. “Did I overstep or—?”

“No,” he interrupted, shaking his head quickly, his expression laced with something close to regret. His hands, still warm against your body, squeezed just slightly before pulling away. “It’s not that. I just—”

He hesitated.

Your chest tightened. Nothing good ever came from I just .

“I have to tell you something.” Or that, in your case.

“Okay,” you said cautiously, pulling back fully now, your hands dropping from his shoulders to your lap, fingers twitching nervously. “What is it?”

He swallowed hard, exhaling through his nose, like he was bracing himself. “This has been… everything.”

Your pulse pounded in your ears. Where was this going? Was he about to tell you that this was a mistake? That he didn’t feel the same way? Your stomach churned, your eyes already stinging with unshed tears.

“Please don’t tell me you already have a partner,” you whisper, kind of trying to laugh it off but it came out weaker than you intended. “Don’t do that to me, Whisky.”

He froze for a second, his entire body going rigid before he quickly shook his head. “No. No, nothing like that. I promise.” His hands found your face again, cradling it gently, as if you were something fragile about to shatter. “I would never do that to you.”

A relieved sigh escaped your lips, a nervous chuckle following as you wiped away a stray tear. “Okay, that makes me feel a lot better. But… what is it, then?”

His lips parted, another breath drawn in deep.

“I’m not—”

A sharp, shrill siren cut through the air like a viroblade.

You both froze.

Fox’s comm buzzed immediately, and he tore his gaze from you to glance at the message flashing across the screen. His jaw tightened, his eyes widening.

“I have to go,” he said suddenly, urgency in his tone.

Your mind reeled, still spinning from everything that had just happened. “Wait—what? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know yet,” Then, to your surprise, he moved fast—gripping your waist and easing you down onto the grass as he hovered over you, preparing to go.

Your head spun. “Whisky—”

“I’ll tell you,” he said quickly, eyes flickering with something heavy, something tormented. His hands gripped your face again gently, thumbs brushing your cheekbones. “I will tell you. Everything. I promise.”

You nodded, still dazed, still trying to process everything.

He hesitated, cursing under his breath before leaning down, pressing a firm, lingering kiss to your cheek. “Do you know your way back out of here?”

You barely nodded, still caught in the whirlwind of everything that was transpiring.

He stands to his full height, his body already shifting into something sharp, something ready for action. You barely had time to sit up before he answered a quick transmission and took off running, disappearing before you could see or hear what was being said.

You exhaled shakily, flopping back against the soft grass, staring up at the sky.

What had he been about to tell you?

And what the hell had just happened that made him run off so fast?

A bitter taste settled on your tongue.

There were too many questions.

And for the first time, you weren’t sure if you wanted the answers.

Part One - 79's

Part Two - Reflection

Part Three - Sniffed Out

Part Four - Dreams

Part Five - I’ll Take My Whisky Neat

Part Six - Escape

Part Seven - The Truth

Or read on AO3 here for more parts ♥️

Tags: @forcesavetheclones @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @jesseeka @theroguesully @ladykatakuri i @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone e @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino @tentakelspektakel @stellarbit @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @greaser-wolf @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @thesith @cw80831 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @the-bad-batch-baroness @dreamie411 @griffedeloup @501st104th212th99s @clonecyare88 @namechange-mykidfoundmyblog @mitth-eli-vanto @cloneflo99

[onward--upward]

go back there when you're done

buck/eddie, 835 words, 8b spec || read on ao3

Do you know the worst possible moment to fully self-actualize the fact that you’re in love with your best friend?  There’s probably a lot of options. But here’s the thing: Evan Buckley has experienced all of them.  There’s clawing through a ton of cold, wet earth, and thinking: God, I’m never going to see his eyes again. There’s lying flat against the cold pavement, your face covered in his blood, watching helplessly as he gasps for breath. There’s crashing into a hospital room, heart in your chest, only to realize that you’re second in line to see him smile. There’s in the midst of a coma-induced bad trip, desperate to see him, but you can't find him no matter what corners you turn. There’s the moment that he pulls you in and tells you, “this doesn’t change a thing between us,” and you feel disappointment trickling through your chest for just a heartbeat.  And Evan Buckley has experienced all of these, but he’s also lived a life perfectly balanced for burying his head in the sand. So yeah, he experienced all of these moments, but somehow he still managed not to face up to the truth of it all. He didn’t see what was right in front of him; he didn't get it.  He gets it now.

So this is it. The worst possible moment to truly understand the deepest, richest, most life-changing love he’s ever felt is now, this moment. Because he's experienced all of that history, and now he's watching it as it slips between his fingertips like smoke. The worst possible moment to realize you’re in love with your best friend is while you’re standing in the rain, out front of his empty house, watching as everything you’ve ever wanted drives away in a U-Haul full of the detritus of a life that you helped build. Now that it's all ending, Buck is left with a lightning bolt of clarity through his heart: he wants to spend the rest of his life with Eddie Diaz. It's a realization as clear and as perfect as if it's always been there, a puzzle piece clicking perfectly into place. Of course it's Eddie—God, of course it is. But he's too late. This isn't a romcom, there's no dramatic airport confession: Eddie is moving to Texas, and there’s not a damn thing Buck can do about it.  So instead, Buck lifts his hand in a wave, heart cracking in his chest, watching until Eddie's vehicle disappears around the corner. And then he turns back to the house. Eddie's house, the one that has always felt like his home, and now it is, only hollowed out. Everything he loved best about this place is gone, now—Eddie’s smile, and his exasperated sigh, and the sound of his voice when he’s speaking Spanish on the phone. Christopher’s laugh, his crutches next to the couch, the sound of video games down the hall. Laughter. Love. Breakfasts cooked by Buck's hands and eaten by his two favourite people in the world. It’s just Buck, now, in among Eddie’s furniture and his appliances. Left behind. Just Buck, walking through the halls of 4995 South Bedford Street like a ghost haunting the life that he’s always wanted.  And there's no fixing it, is the thing. Eddie needs to be with Christopher, and Christopher is in Texas. Buck can’t argue with that, wouldn’t want to pull Eddie away from his son even if he could. Besides, Evan Buckley was made to be left, so he’s used to it. He’ll be okay, even though half of his heart is currently driving steadily towards state lines. He's survived it before. Before he drove away, Eddie had pulled him close, had looked at him with those beautiful, warm eyes of his, his palm steady against the spot on Buck’s skin that’s become his, and he said, “Buck,” in that voice of his that seems to be reserved for Buck and Buck alone: “This isn’t the end.”  And Buck had nodded, had settled into his arms like he belonged there. Said, “I love you, man,” because it’s the closest he can get to what he really wants to say. "Drive safe." And he wants to believe Eddie, he really, really does. But by now Buck is several years past his own youthful optimism. And he can’t help it: as he uses the key that has been on his key ring for years to unlock the home that he’s only just now moving into, he has this empty, sinking feeling in his chest. Maybe it’s a little bit of deja vu. Maybe Buck is still playing out versions of the same damn mistakes, over and over again.  Still. Eddie is different. He’s not Abby. And even if he is making all the same mistakes, it doesn't make a difference. This isn't some passing flight of fancy—he's in this for the long haul.  Buck has waited before. He’ll wait again.  This isn’t the end. It can’t be.

[You can also find this fic on ao3!]

[bimbosanddolls]

State of the Kiki (sad edition)

Hey dolls,

I wanted to give you all a little update regarding things. When it rains, it pours... and this Barbie forgot her umbrella.

As most of you probably know, I had started a Patreon in October. I wanted to try and monetize my writing and earn some money to help afford my breast implants (because bimbo kink aside, they are gender-affirming care for me) and, if all went according to plan, maybe even turn my writing into my new career.

Well, that dream has been shattered. My disability insurance provider has decided that I owe them all the money I made on Patreon because they feel that they "overpaid" me. Because obviously the roughly $200/month I was making was just way too much for a poor little insurance company. And goddess forbid a disabled person try to actually work their way out of Disability....

Anyway, that's a whole other rant. The system is broken and I hate it. It feels like I'm incentivized to give up and spend the rest of my life on Disability. They want to keep me in my place, I guess....

So, anyway, I'm shutting down my Patreon. I want to offer a sincere thank you to anyone that subscribed, shared my posts, or interacted with me at all. You all gave me hope that maybe I could be successful despite the difficulties I face.

As for now... I guess I'm back to square one. I still have my Ko-Fi up if anyone is feeling generous and wants to help a trans girlie out (but no pressure) because they can't take donations from me.

Other than that though, I don't really know what I'm going to do. I feel defeated. My Patreon had given me a little spark that maybe I could build a better life for myself... and now it's gone. I'm just really sad right now. And like, obviously it feels a little worse given the state of the world right now. I know I don't post about it because I try to keep my blog as an escape from all that... but things are hard. The world is on fire and nobody that can stop it wants to....

Like I said, when it rains, it pours....

Anyway, I think that's all for now. My queue has some posts in it, but I don't know when I'll feel up to creating again. Hopefully soon. But we'll see. If you made it this far, thank you for listening. I appreciate you. I know this post is a total downer but I truly hope my blog brings joy and happy feelings more often than not.

Sending love, Kiki Doll

P.S.: hug your pets

[boku-no-anime-phase]

Been thinking about this more because VS is so right for this. Western society at least values war, but the fact is, war doesn't teach you the most important survival skills; fighting and killing is only an important skill in a world where might makes right which, realistically, isn't the world most of us live in.

What gets you far in life, and how does experience on the battlefield prepare you for that? Did the battlefield prepare Thorfinn to navigate relationships, which is the single most important survival skill a human can have? No. Did it teach him to farm or craft things or otherwise make an honest living? To problem solve? To prioritize tasks or evaluate cost/benefit or risk/reward in the types of daily endeavor he's going to spend the rest of his life doing? To deal with the types of small, personal problems he will deal with every day?

I get the impression that people think that military experience can be valuable to help someone "toughen up", but besides all of the irl PTSD that veterans deal with that disagrees with that, "toughening up" isn't the same as learning to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Does battle teach you that? Also, there are plenty of people who are "tough" who have never seen battle, lots of people who learned how to deal with their feelings and properly prioritize them from something that didn't involve violence.

Besides, why is it important to be "tough"? There's nothing wrong with having a hard time and showing it. You can deal with your problems and cry about them. There's nothing wrong with wearing your heart on your sleeve. Being sensitive and having big feelings doesn't mean you can't do everything an adult can do, and there are relatively few situations you deal with as an adult where it's actually imperative that you don't cry or show emotion (especially in a world where, like we talked about before, might doesn't make right - like ours). What would the world look like if we all stopped idolizing "toughness" and stoicism?

Battle doesn't make you more kind or emotionally intelligent. It doesn't make you industrious or give you marketable skills. It doesn't make you a better family member, friend or employee. It doesn't make you a more creative person. It doesn't equip you with the skills to live a productive and happy life.

Sure, there are people who served in the military and learned valuable lessons and chose to be kind and productive but, like with abuse or any other trauma, it's not that the experience made them what they are. They chose to become that good person. It was always in them. Violence didn't make them who they are.

Other stories: this person went to war young, so they're jaded by battle and More Mature than other characters their age because of it

Vinland Saga S2: Thorfinn went to war young, so he doesn't know anything about anything. He's like an overgrown child. He doesn't know anything about relationships or life philosophies. He doesn't know where his food comes from or how to make an honest living. He's never thought about the problems faced by ordinary people and how they creatively solve them. He's never done anything he can be proud of. He doesn't know how to appreciate anything worth appreciating in life. And he screams in his sleep. Because war doesn't make you cool, it leaves you broken.

[shyamanuensis]

17 - t.r

it's been one of those days. enjoy some teenage tom riddle angst because i can't function right now. unedited. pairing: tom x muggle!reader

There was something acutely nostalgic about the cold frost the winds would tease in to dance across your skin now that summer had begun to end. The warmth that daylight had once brought shaded by an umbra of sombreness giving way in a poetic sense to the crisp chill of autumns wonder. The scattering of magenta through the skies, specifically tonight, was like nothing you’d ever witnessed before. It was as if angels and spectres had fought for lost souls as an incubus bled near bardic like, wounds ready for the world to witness, to see.

August 31st always crept into your life with a disturbance, with an imbalance you couldn’t quite explain. The days leading up to it on the calendar teased as your gut churned, breath knotted, eyes wept within the privacy of your own thoughts and deliberations. Turning seventeen at Wools hadn’t been how you had expected life to turn out after a series of misfortunate returns by foster families looking for someone younger, someone smaller, someone with less trauma, someone who would better fit the family. You weren’t a toddler anymore – they seemed to have all the fortunes you’d grown out of. With cupid style cheeks and a smirk that would let them get away with anything; you were officially at the age of being out on your luck.

A certain boy had made your days and nights not feel so long, not feel so terrible though. At least over summers when he returned from the fantasy land he’d tried to describe to your once. Hogwarts, was it? Something like that. You had become smitten with the sound of his voice the first time you heard it; coerced by the specks of trouble sprinkled through his eyes you knew meant adventure. Tom was somewhat different to anyone else you’d ever met. He was cordial to you when others described him as cold. You saw an integrity within him, that others viewed only as immoral. He’d hold your hand if it ever stormed knowing how you weren’t the biggest fan of the rain, and you’d let him fall asleep; head resting on your lap whenever his mind wouldn’t switch off – deactivate.

“What would you like to be when you’re older?” “…happy.”

It was a conversation the two of you had almost weekly. Tom always knew the answer, and yet still he asked as if he’d never done so before. The courtyard of the orphanage at this time of day was empty. It had always ben this way across the countless years that you could remember. Seated on a bench where you’d spend far too much time daydreaming about being somewhere else, anywhere else; a place that perhaps felt like a home; your fingers curled softly around the seats edge, skimming across Tom’s own which were doing the same. You were both silent. Something not quite unique for the friendship you two possessed but nonetheless, you wished that right now, he would speak.

“We’ll be adults this time next year.” You point out the obvious as if it’ll be enough to warrant any kind of conversation out of Tom. Just something, anything to hear his voice just one last time, knowing that when you woke up tomorrow morning – life would be different. “No coming back here. It’s funny… I think I might actually miss the place.”

Tom remains hushed. Stoic. His expression, that you can see from the corner of your eye, reads as mildly anxious yet earnest as he glances out into the distance at nothing. It cancels out any entertaining ideas you might have as the silence teetering around you both begins to consume you. Mrs Cole makes her final rounds for the evening with a lap of the courtyard, advising everyone that it’s almost curfew with her sharp featured smile and you nod an acknowledgement, standing up on your feet near instantly. Brushing your skirt out to lay flat, you can’t help but wonder why Tom hasn’t moved yet.

“Will you write to me?” You always enjoyed receiving Tom’s letters, dropped off by the most adorable of grey owls you’d never seen. He didn’t respond; instead his gaze just fixed out to nothing. You licked your lips and dug your heel into the soft ground waiting for a reply, a smirk, a chuckle, a groan… anything. You decided that perhaps, it was time to speak up again.

“I… hope you get appointed head boy like you’ve been talking about all summer and--.” “I think I’ve fallen for you.”

Tom’s words cut through any reticence or doubt you may have had with his lack of communication – however you feel as if you’ve suddenly stumbled into a novel new territory of naïveté. It’s a place you don’t particularly want to be; and yet suddenly find yourself having to decided between sinking or swimming.

“…you – you think... you think you’ve what?”

Your head starts to spin, eyes begin to feel heavy, heart race quicker than that of a thoroughbred. Tom eventually moves. Standing up to take his usual place beside you but instead of taking your hand as he always would and leading you back off towards the common room for a the night, he reaches out to brush some rouge hair from your eyes; tucking it in nearly behind your ear and dips his head to bring his lips up to graze against your own in a barely there, sort of kiss. If you weren’t already speechless, you were now.

“- and you deserve a guy who’s better than me.”

Both your exhales mix into a cocktail of predisposition of unspoken, tacit lust; of yearning; yet this is broken immediately as he steps back. Steps away. Flinches from the sudden execution of feeling. His fingers, gentle and mellow; draw along your jaw before tracing over your lips as if to try and commit the details of your face he’s admired so many times before, to memory – just in case. You try to speak, try to reason, to articulate the nothingness which has debilitated you into reservation and yet can’t. Your eyes eagerly gazing up into Tom’s dark own manage little more than to search them for deceitful terms yet are met with something akin to momentary authenticity of what he’s admitted. Of what you’ll probably never hear from him again.

“I’ll write if I have time. Promise.”

But that’s all that you get from him as he twists to wander away; to escape from the sudden chaos you’re still trying to remain afloat in and all you can wonder as you begin to blink at the tears which swell up in the corners of your eyes as his figure moves further and further from sight is if you’ll ever actually see him again. Or if there’s someone out there, who like Tom; might, in the future, make you feel seventeen again.

[kyokutsu-sama]

I missed you

Kyouro x f!reader

A/n: I just wanted a Kyojuro in my life😫

My creativity has been at its peak this week and I already have a bunch of drafts here on tumblr and also in my notes. But some of them haven't been reviewed yet and this one is one of many other projects I have for this month.

I hope you like it❤️

Tw: Nsfw (No mentions of 'Y/n', the fic is written in the 3rd person)

His mission there was complete, the demons annihilated and the people saved. As always, his goal was to save as many lives as possible, even if it could cost him his own. He would rather die doing his duty than survive with the knowledge that innocent blood had been shed. That's why he worked hard every day, to always be ready to fulfill this duty.

"Thank you so much. I really don't know what to say or do to be able to repay you for what you did for us today." The lady said, wiping the tears of emotion from her face, and Kyojuro smiled at her, sweetly

"It's okay, you don't need to thank me. I did it willingly and I'm relieved to know that everyone is okay." He crouched down, placing a hand on the lady's shoulder. "My duty here is done, I'm leaving now but I'll always be available to help with whatever is needed."

"Thank you." Said another individual who was also there.

The flame hashira sheathed his sword and adjusted his haori before saying goodbye. He made his way back home, eager to see his lovely wife. He knew it was late and he wasn't so sure she could be awake.

He used to come home late at night from work, but she was very understanding and understood his reasons. He loved her caring and understanding way, and also the way she held his hands, kissed him before he left on a mission, the way her food tasted, made with love and with the knowledge that his stomach was a bottomless pit. He loved her smiled, the way she looked at him, the sound of her laughter, everything about her.

But if someone asked him on a deeper level, he would say the intensity with which she hugged him, the way she held him and the sound of her voice telling him that she loved him. He could spend the rest of his days delighting in those soft eyes where all her love for him was written. He couldn't resist.

He opened the front door and closed it, trying not to make too much noise. He saw the lights all off and soon realized that she was already asleep. He took off his shoes and then his haori, putting it on top of the sword he had propped against the wall. A long sigh left his lips, he was tired but relieved to finally be home.

He made his way to the bedroom and peeked inside to find his beloved lying on the bed. He entered the room and got a little closer, admiring her sleeping so well that hadn't even realized he was there. His eyes roamed over her body, until they reached her closed eyes and her face slightly covered by a few tufts of hair. But what caught his attention was the fact that the only piece of clothing she was wearing was the top of one of the many uniforms he had that reached her hips, barely covering the rest of her naked body.

He hadn't said it before, but he loved seeing her wearing his clothes. The way they looked bigger on her and the way his scent lingered on her body turn him on a little.

He took off the top of his uniform and set it aside, sitting down next to her sleeping body and ran a hand over her bare thigh, caressing her skin. She stirred a little and her eyes opened slightly, seeing a silhouette there next to her, which made her startle and jump.

"Oh shit!" She sighed of relief when she notice that it was just her husband."Kyojuro, it's you."

"I'm sorry if I made you think it was a demon coming in or some thief." He chuckled and you smiled

"Thank goodness it's neither of those. It's just my dear husband." You smiled, hugging him

"Yes, just me, my dear." He pulled her onto his lap, sitting her on his thighs and wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing her forehead

"How was your mission?" She looked at him, meeting his bright eyes

"Everything went well. I managed to save the people and annihilate the demons as it had to be done." He told her and she smiled, kissing his cheek

"You are incredible. I'm so proud of you."

"Your words motivate me a lot, they give me strength when I need it. Thank you." He kissed her temple, pulling her body in his arms closer. "But even so, I think I owe my lovely wife an apology for being late and for scaring her when she was sleeping so angelically." He brought the hand that held her thighs to her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb

"Don't worry about it, I was also waiting for you to come back soon. I missed you so much." She whispered, running a hand over his chest

"I missed you too, my love." He lowered his head to find her lips and kiss her softly

"I missed your warmth, sleeping alone makes me cold." She changed position, placing a knee on either side of his thighs and holding onto his shoulders. "I missed your arms around me to keep me warm."

"I'm sorry for neglecting your body's needs." He whispered, bringing his hands to her waist."Have I told you that you look beautiful wearing my uniform?"

"Do you like seeing me wearing it?"

"I loved it, you look wonderful in it."

"I thought about wearing the pants too, but I didn't want to give you any more work. You're already so tired of the mission." She bit her lip, rolling her hips on his lap, spreading the moisture across the fabric of his pants

"So it seems like you were trying to surprise me?"

"It wasn't exactly a planned surprise, I just thought that maybe you would come back a little 'hungry' from the hard mission."

"And you got it right, my beauty." He said, kissing her and running his hands under the uniform, squeezing her waist."My dear wife, I love you so much."

"Me too." Her hips moved against his visible bulge as she feasted on his lips, their tongues meeting, his hands moving down to grab her hips, helping her with her movements

She brought one hand to his golden hair, deepening the kiss, and the other to hold his face. The air between them was heating up and they were short of breath due to the depth and intensity with which they were kissing.

The kiss was broken and she began unbuttoning the uniform she was wearing, throwing it somewhere in the room, revealing her bare breasts to him, who brought his hands there, massaging and sucking on the nipples, making her arch and release soft moans from her lips.

"Kyo, mmhh~ it feels so good..."She moaned softly

Her fingers dug into the skin of his shoulders, feeling his lips distribute wet kisses across her breasts and giving light bites too.

She lifted her hips and grabbed one of his hands, bringing it between her legs.

"Touch me." She ask, biting her lower lip trying to hold back her moans

He then began working his fingers into her wetness, spreading it from back to front with two of his fingers and teasing her throbbing entrance.

"Here?"He panted, looking at her

"Yeah...right there."She moaned, tilting head back

His lips left her breasts and he shifted the position, laying her on the bed and getting on top. He brought his head between her legs and mouthed her wet slit, making her arch and grip his hair.

"Oh, Kyo..."

He placed her legs over his shoulders, hugging her thighs as he paid attention to her sensitive clit with his tongue.

Hers rolled every time the tip of his tongue moved in circles, his fingers digging into her thighs as he tasted her also contributed to her feeling so close.

He released one of her thigh, using two fingers to tease her entrance before inserting them and making her writhe on the mattress. He distributed quick and successive licks on her sensitive spot while his fingers moved at the same fast pace. Her back arched once more and that was when she felt her orgasm arriving, making her legs tremble and her breath hitch for a moment.

He removed his fingers and brought them to his lips, sucking on them.

"Tasty!" He smiled, leaning over her body and lowering himself to kiss her, letting her taste herself on his tongue

"Kyojuro... I need you now." She murmured against his lips, her hands running over his back and her eyes almost begging him to hurry

"You'll have me, my love. I won't make you wait anymore." He whispered close to her ear

He knelt down and took off the remaining clothes, freeing his cock and leaning down to kiss her neck, while his hand guided his it inside her wet, tight walls.

"Ahhh~! that's... so good." She moaned, digging her nails into his back

"It feels so good to be inside of you, love."He murmured into the crook of her neck

"Oh yes, It's too damn good to have you inside."She rolled her eyes."mmhh~baby... Please move." She begged, her legs wrapping around his waist as his hips met hers

He ran one hand from her waist to her thigh, rolling his hips slowly against her, enjoying the wonderful sensation of her slick walls around him, while the other arm rested behind her head.

His big, bright eyes were just admiring the beautiful expressions of pleasure on his beloved's face beneath him. Her eyes narrowed and rolling everytime he went deeper, her mouth open and releasing all those sounds he loved to hear, her nails drawing red lines on his broad back that made him delirious.

All of this was the result of the love and pleasure he was giving her, and seeing that she loved it as much as he did made him want to have her even more. The hand that was on her thigh snaked down between her legs, using his thumb to caress her clit, causing her insides to clench around him, which drew a low moan from him.

He loved that feeling, but if she kept doing it, he would go insane. He changed position and sat back on his heels, pulling her body on top of his, thrusting her again, grabbing her hips and moving her from bottom to top. She cried out at the sudden change but her hands instinctively went to his shoulders, holding him close to her as she bounced on top of him. He adjusted the position, now sitting on the mattress, his hands never leaving her hips for a moment. His lips caught hers in a sloppy and voracious kiss given the pace they were going at. She snaked her hands through his body, grabbing onto any part she could, trying to ease that burning sensation inside her. The heat of that man, his presence, his touch, everything about him was burning her. After all, he was the flame pillar so it suited him.

"Kyo... I'm gonna...I can't take it anymore."She said, tears streaming down her eyes

"Yeah? Do you want to come? My dear is feeling close?" He grunted, looking at her and starting to move his hips underneath her to go deeper and using his fingers to rub her sensitive bud as she moved up and down, her breasts bouncing against his chest.

"Yes." She whimpered, tilting her head back and feeling her insides clenching him and soon after cumming all over his length

He brought his hands to her waist and continued thrusting into her until he felt his orgasm coming too.

The way she was hugging his body close to hers and her loud sounds were mixing with the squelching sounds intoned the room and were nothing more than music to his ears, especially when she called his name, he couldn't hold back and it was a matter of mere seconds until he was filling her with his seed until it spilled over his cock and dripped down her thighs.

Her body gave in and went numb in his strong arms as he held her close for a moment. She was panting and could barely feel her legs, her head was resting in the crook of his neck as she caught her breath.

He caressed her back with one hand and her hair with the other, he closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. He felt so good at that moment, he didn't want to be anywhere else but there, with his precious wife in his arms. She pulled away from his neck and looked at him, holding his face with her hands and resting her forehead against his, their breaths meeting and their noses touching.

"Are you okay, honey?" He asked softly

"Yes, you make me feel good." She said and he smiled a little

"I'm glad to hear it." He said before kissing her and she wrapped her arms around his neck

The make out session ends up when she broke the kiss and looked into his bright eyes, eyes full of love for her.

"Love, I'm feeling tired." She said, combing her husband's golden locks with her fingers

"Wanna sleep?" She nodded and he lifted her hips, laying her down on the mattress

He lay down next to her and pulled her to his chest, giving her the warmth she loved and needed so much. The warmth of his arms wrapped around her all night long.

"Sleep well, my angel." He whispered, kissing her forehead and pulling the blanket to cover them both

"You too, my love." She murmured, giving him a kiss on the chest and hugging him

[katsulina]

feel me on your lips - k.bakugou

you and katsuki are both unfamiliar with relationships, and unsure of how to initiate anything romantic, so of course you don't know what you're supposed to do when you wanna kiss someone till you can't breathe wc: 1,462 a/n: i used to write little oneshots like this but its been a while so please be nice! also wrote this in one sitting to hopefully break out of my writers block and i had sm fun doing it! (i actually got a bit carried away) warnings: katsuki bakugou x reader, first kiss, first relationship, katsuki and reader are a bit emotionally constipated, very cute, very sweet, very innocent, wrote with fem!reader in mind but (i think) can be read as gn!reader too (although if you see any gender specific terms lmk)

navigation masterlist smau/text requests open only!

if there was anything katsuki was clueless about, it was relationships. he’s always prided himself on being great at everything, but when it came to his relationship with you, for the first time in his life he didn’t know what he was doing.

at first, you two didn’t do much other than hold hands. and even that was rare. there was an underlying tension in the air whenever you two hung out; you were both scared. scared to make the first move, scared of doing something wrong, scared of fucking everything up.

it was just new. don’t get me wrong, katsuki new you well. he became your boyfriend in the first place because he knew you so well and loved everything about you. even if it took him some time to figure that out, especially with him being unfamiliar with the feeling of a crush mixed with a whole lot of denial and emotional constipation.

but it was a big change and both of your first relationships. neither of you knew how to initiate a touch or a kiss.

it took about a month into your relationship to slowly ease into these things, after a painfully raw and vulnerable conversation about how both of you were clueless when it comes to relationships.

it started with a lean on his shoulder on a certain movie night, to which he tensed up and you were sat with your heart pounding with nerves.

then he started putting an arm around your shoulder when you were sitting in bed together.

eventually you also noticed how he also started ruffling your hair, poking your cheek, and playfully punching your arm. all to tease you, he said. but you knew they were just excuses to touch you.

you guys started to hug more often, his hands on your waist and yours around his shoulders. your legs would touch under the table and neither would awkwardly pull away, but rather leave them where they are, especially when katsuki got comfortable enough to place his hand on your thigh.

it got to where he could hold you when you were both sleeping, and it felt natural. the butterflies were still there, but the fear and hesitation left a long time ago.

but you both craved more. all you both wanted was a kiss.

you both held these feelings, that much was obvious, but neither was brave enough to make a move.

that was until you came to katsuki room one particular friday evening, planning to stay the night. everything went how it always did. you were greeted with a “hey” and a hug, then pulled into his bed for a cozy movie night just like you did every week.

little did you know, it would be different this time.

you had your head resting on katsuki shoulder and a hand on his chest, while one of his hands was on your waist and the other behind his head.

his laptop played a movie you didn’t care much about, not when you had the lullaby of his heartbeat slowly pulling you into a slumber, which katsuki noticed quickly. of course.

“you falling asleep on me??” he whispered, a slight rasp still in his voice, to which you could only hum softly in response.

it didn’t help when his hand moved from your waist to your hair, feeling yourself slip in and out of sleep. but you didn’t want to fall asleep yet. you wanted to spend more time with him.

so, you lifted your heavy head up to meet his gaze with your own tired one. your eyes were half lidded and you wore a shy yet genuine smile on your face. you looked up at him like he was your whole world, and he was just grateful that your head wasn’t on his chest anymore so that you wouldn’t be able to hear how his heart skipped a beat the second you met his eyes.

you still make his nervous, huh.

“go to sleep” it was both a gentle order from him to you as well as an excuse to avert his eyes from yours as he turned you both so you were lying on your sides facing eachother. of course, he was met with a complaint that:

“i don’t want to sleep yet” and “i want to spend more time with you” but all those protests fell deaf on his ears as he closed his laptop and set it aside on his bedside table before turning his lamp off.

now, only to moonlight illuminated the room, and he almost wished it didn’t, because when he lied down and turned to face you, he saw just how beautiful every part of you was.

the look in your eyes displayed only love for him, and the reflection of the glowing moon made it look like there were stars in your eyes. your smile was pure, tired, but pure. like all your energy was pouring into it. it was involuntary. uncontrolled. it wasn’t a forced smile. it wasn’t fake. you were smiling at him because you just couldn’t help it.

you radiated your love for him in this moment. you were beautiful inside and out. and he couldn’t look away.

when you blinked, fighting your slumber, your eyelashes fluttered his way and he couldn’t help but imagine how they’ed feel on his cheek after stealing your lips. and just like that, it was all he could think about.

he found himself in this predicament a little too often. he wanted to kiss you, but he just couldn’t do it. he wasn’t used to this hesitation and self doubt. so he got lost in his thoughts. so much so, that your eyes finally shut, giving in to sleep.

no. he wasn’t going to miss his chance again.

and before he could even think about it, his lips parted and whispered your name with urgency, calling out to you in desperation.

your eyes opened up again, and all of a sudden it hit him just how close the two of you were.

“yes?” you mumbled, your voice sleep laced. when he stared at you with no reply, you only questioned further, slightly worried,

“katsuki..?”

it didn’t take long after that for him to lean closer, eyes focused on your lips, and you knew it was about to happen.

only a moment before your lips touched, he paused, his breath hitching, and looked back into your eyes, searching for confirmation. when his eyes met yours, he was certain he’s never seen less doubt in someone’s gaze than in yours right this moment. so he took this sign you gave him, and closed the gap between the two of you.

it was all that he imagined, no, it exceeded any expectation he had brewed up in his head on those sleepless night when you were all he could think about.

your lips danced a slow harmonious rhythm together, and it was clear you wanted this just as much as he did.

it was soft, but desperate. gentle and non urgent, as if you both had all the time in the world to savour each others lips. and oh how you both wished that was the reality. how you two wished you could relive this moment forever.

the butterflies in your stomachs, the haze clouding your minds, the focus of only each other. you’d both rather suffocate than to break free from the comforting and oh so addictive confines of each others lips.

but the reality was, you both needed air. desperately. and with both of you hating to pull away, you unfortunately had to. and when you did, the both of you were left panting softly, eyes closed, and minds still wrapping around what just happened.

you were the first to break the silence, with none other than a soft, breathless, laugh. pure and exhilarated, adrenaline pumping through your veins.

your laugh pulled him out of his haze, making him look up at you from where his eyes rested on your lips to meet your eyes. again with the way you look at him. like he was everything to you. and he was everything to you. and you were everything to him.

he couldn’t help the gentle smile that decorated his lips, and soon enough he let out a chuckle of his own, one of joy, but there was a hint of relief that could be heard. you were both relieved; the barriers were broken down, and in that moment, nothing else in the world mattered.

before he knew it you tucked your head into his chest. he didn’t even care that you could definitely hear his pounding heart, he just hoped, no, now he knew that yours was beating just as joyfully.

beating for him.

[sir-tuitsum]

An Empress' Harem: Catch Up!

A continuation featuring: Luocha!

Part 1

Notes: pregnancy mention

It must have been many years since you stepped foot into the capital, then you were still a young princess carrying out orders from the late Empress, your mother. Then it had been a calculating princess working against her sisters to stand out, in her return she was the still newly ascended Empress here to enjoy The First Bloom Festival in public as a testament to her ascension. The First Bloom was a grand one meant to celebrate the return of spring, in the past you had only taken part in planning the Summer celebrations on orders of your mother, much to your displeasure.

Gracing the festival with your appearance in the year of your ascension would be a good move, you had thought. Normally there were separate celebrations for those in the Imperial Palace for your family but this would possibly be the one time in a while where you would celebrate it outside instead, for the praise of the people you suppose.

Dressed in ceremonial robes of deep violet and gold, you stood upon an elevated pavilion overlooking the central square. Fireworks cracked against the night sky, illuminating the swirling dancers below. The dancers and their silk ribbons flashed like rivers of light, twisting and curling to the music. You rarely appeared before your people, having spent most of your youth in the palace’s secluded halls but tonight, you allowed yourself this indulgence, even if it was for your own benefit of seeming humble to your people to spend a holiday with them, it was nice to witness the joy of your empire firsthand.

Among you sat the council of the current mayor, your concubines were encouraged to go off and perform charity in the festival's events, therefore you were surrounded by mostly government officials who gathered to spend the evening with you. You blamed your dizzy state on them however, you really did make great attempts to spend your company with those of high birth but you would no doubt enjoy yourself more if they did not.. pester you the entire time on stupid things in order to grow friendly with you.

“Ah, it seems even the heavens will celebrate the return of spring with new life,” the man’s voice murmured, when you looked up you saw a blond, a beauty in fact, his eyes reminded her of emeralds and his hair fell below his shoulders. You noticed his eyes flicking toward your stomach and you raised your brow at his boldness.

You turned your head, raising a brow. The speaker was one of the mayor’s male companions- a courtesan, perhaps, or a favored attendant. You recalled seeing his face next to the mayor’s earlier today. He was certainly handsome enough for the role, though his attire did not quite match that of a typical servant. Bold too, too bold.

You chose not to take offense considering the light heartedness of the holiday and instead you replied to him, “I think you're too pretty to make bold assumptions like that, much less think about them.”

He only smiled at you and nodded, “As your majesty says.” And paid his attention back to the mayor, walking over to her.

The exchange was brief, barely a ripple in the night’s festivities. You naturally didn't think much of him for the rest of the evening.

.

By dawn, you were on your knees, emptying the contents of your stomach into a porcelain basin. The queasiness in your stomach had worsened since you went to bed last night, and when you rose, the world spun around you. A physician was summoned immediately. The verdict did not take long.

“Your Majesty,” the elderly doctor had said earlier after his examination, bowing low. “You are with child, almost two months now.”

The chamber fell into stunned silence. Then, murmurs rippled through your attendants. A pregnancy? So soon after your ascension? It had only been months since. The news would send shockwaves through the court.

Wiping the contents from your lips with a silk handkerchief and exhaling slowly, you only said, “Bring me the man from last night.”

The attendants hesitated. It was assumed that he had gravely offended the Empress with his comment. Was she going to punish him?

When the man was finally brought into your presence, he was composed, hands folded in quiet obedience. If he was afraid, he did not show it.

You studied him for a long moment before allowing a rare smile to curl your lips.

“Tell me,” you mused, tilting your head, “how did you know before even I did?”

The man met your gaze, neither meek nor defiant, merely certain.

“A flower knows when spring has come,” he said simply.

The man did not waver under your gaze, nor did he shrink away like most would before an Empress. If anything, there was a glimmer of amusement in his expression, as though he had been expecting this exchange.

You, for all your regal composure, found yourself intrigued. Men in this empire were raised to be demure, their words measured, their presence delicate. Yet here he stood, unflinching, speaking as if they were equals.

Your lips curled. “And where, I wonder, did you find such charm? To speak so openly before a woman, even seemingly comparing yourself to a flower, before your Empress?”

The man’s smile was slight, almost teasing. “Perhaps I was simply raised without the sense to know fear.”

A soft hum of amusement left you. “Is that so?” You let your fingers lazily trail along the embroidery of your sleeve, gaze sharp despite the casual gesture. “Then I wonder… would the mayor like to see one of her men charming her Empress so boldly?”

“I am nothing to the mayor, Your Majesty,” he said smoothly. “Only a passing healer. She was unwell some time ago, and this is merely my payment—a place to rest until I set off again.”

You raised a brow. A healer? That certainly explained a few things. The confidence, the observant gaze, the way he had spoken of your pregnancy as though it were an obvious truth.

A healer, then. Not a courtesan. Not some foolish servant who had spoken out of turn.

And he was charming.

You took a slow step forward, amusement flickering in your eyes. “A healer, yet one who diagnoses ailments before the patient even notices them,” you mused. “How fortunate.”

Your smirk deepened, and with a flick of your fingers, you turned to one of your attendants. “Inform the mayor that I am borrowing his guest for the rest of the day.”

Then, with a glance back at the man, you added smoothly, “Since you seem to be such a seasoned doctor, it would be a shame not to keep you around a little longer, wouldn’t it?”

He said nothing for the moment. And then, he smiled, as though he had expected this all along.

Extra: Interacting with his Empress afterwards..

Silken curtains fluttered as a cool breeze swept through the open balcony, carrying with it the faint sounds of the imperial garden beyond. Water trickling from the carved inner fountains, the rustle of wind through flowering nearby trees, the distant sound of attendants’ feet. The scent of pleasant burning coal paired with a beautiful man, it was all you needed for the night.

Seated atop a divan accompanied with fine brocade, you idly traced the rim of your jade wine cup, your gaze resting on the blond man standing before you.

Or rather, lounging before you on his own divan, utterly relaxed in the presence of the most powerful woman in the empire.

It was still an amusing thought, even now. When you had first met him during the Spring Festival, he had been nothing more than a passing healer, a man who had dared to speak freely in your presence. And yet here he was, standing in your palace, not as a physician, not as a mere guest, but as yours.

“You’re rather comfortable for someone who should be offering his Empress proper greetings,” you mused, sipping from your cup, watching him over the rim.

He exhaled a quiet laugh, stepping forward, but he did not kneel as tradition dictated. He never did. “Would it please Your Majesty if I performed the ritual properly?” His voice carried that same knowing lilt, teasing yet respectful–just enough to keep his head on his shoulders.

You sighed, setting your cup down. “No. It would bore me.”

He chuckled again, stopping just before you, hands clasped neatly behind his back. He was dressed as befitted a favored concubine; robes of deep indigo and silver, his long hair bound with a golden clasp gifted by your own hand. It is not that he did not look the part of an Imperial Concubine, more rather the way he wore it as if he still had freedom. Composed but never restrained.

“I heard you made quite the impression today.”

“You ought to make the load heavier on servants if rumors reach your ears this fast.” His reply was instant. Not a trace of humility or shame.

“You do not deny it?”

“This depends.”

You exhaled, feeling equally exasperated and entertained. This wasn't the only thing he did then.

“The High Twelfth Princess’ Consort-” you stopped then narrowed your eyes at him, not sharp enough to be malice, “My younger sister’s consort almost fainted when you grabbed his wrist so suddenly-”

“Pulse reading is normal.”

You raised your brow at his arrogant reply, towards you of all people, “-which caused the poor man to become frightened as you approached him so suddenly.”

Luocha tilted his head, “I am wounded.” He approached you closer and knelt to you, laying his hands on your lap then placing his head on top of said hands, his eyes gazed up at you, “I cannot be blamed for not knowing he was so fragile beforehand, yes?”

You rolled your eyes, but your lips curled. He was a menace, truly. When you had first taken him into the palace, you had wondered if he would wilt under the weight of gilded captivity.

But no, he had thrived.

“Shameless,” you muttered.

He grinned. “Only in service to my Empress.”

A laugh escaped you. You reached for your wine cup, sipping slowly before saying, “Perhaps I should keep you locked away after all. My ministers would be relieved if their husbands weren’t at risk of fainting in your presence.” Your smile widened before you could feel it, “Better yet, I should have your hands removed to make their assurance grounded.”

He pushed himself further on your lap. Too close and too bold but he had already crossed that line a long time ago. The best path was forward.

“Would that not be a tragedy?” he murmured. “To cripple such a talented physician, when his skills could be put to better use?”

You set your cup aside, eyes gleaming. “Better use, you say?”

“Mm.” He leaned in just slightly, enough for you to catch the faint trace of fragrant herbal oils lingering on his skin.

His voice then became low, “Surely Your Majesty finds my hands most useful?”

[lilacella]

any thoughts on what prongsfoot would be like if they got to grow old together?

Ohhh fun!😊😊

This got a bit long and rambly and beware of mentions of old people dying (very peacefully after a long life!!).

send me prongsfoot asks

Well I definitely think they would have some sort of crazy crafts room in their house. It's probably a fixer-upper home anyways because these two old men love tinkering around on stuff! They would be the kind of weird, but adorable old gay couple in the village. Sirius would drive them around on his chopper, James would sit in the side-car, both wearing these old-timey goggle-helmet combinations (or maybe just James and Sirius has a normal one, I can't decide which version is funnier). Sirius would wear a leather vest that says "Hot Dog" on the back. James made that for their anniversary ages ago.

James is teaching the local Quidditch (or Football if it's a muggle au) team with great joy, eventhough his back doesn't allow him to play himself anymore, and Sirius will sometimes show up watching, eating his snack and be mildly amused but mostly enamoured by his husbands vigorous instructions and occasionally point him out to the watching parents beside him and say "That's my husband."

He's very proud of him.

Prongsfoot is in tune from the very beginning but by now they know each-other so well and are so firm in their routines as a couple that they have basically merged into one person. This may sound awful to many people but they are very happy!

They often stay awake til late at night and on clear nights they sit outside on their garden chairs, watching the stars. Everytime James will point to Sirius and say "Look Darling, there's yours!"

And everytime Sirius will smile fondly, take a sip of his drink of the night and say "I know."

James will then proceed to name all the stars for Sirius and Sirius will not look at where he's pointing at all - he knows the nightsky well enough, he'd rather watch the sparkle in James' eyes as he goes off about planetary constellations and the boundaries of the milkyway and about how he doesn't care about all that impressive and terrifying vastness out there because he's got his whole world down here with him, in his garden, in the chair beside him.

Then Sirius will call him a terrible sap and kiss him tenderly.

They'll spend sunny evenings counting each others wrinkles and grey hairs, take the mornings as easy and slow as they like - but sometimes one of them has a silly, but genius idea, and they have to get to it right now!

Then they will rush (with the bike of course) to the local university (or magical equivalent), storm the lab - they know them there already as respected elders - and experiment.

Sometimes it works first try. Sometimes they blow things up. And then try again until it works. At any rate, they are having a blast.

As they get older and grey hairs get replaced by white, James starts dreading climbing into the side car because of that one time he couldn't get back out and Sirius doesn't trust his eyesight enough to drive anymore anyways so they take the bus around town - going no defined place, just driving around eating sweets and watching the people and streets pass by. They pick out a nice spot at the local graveyard under a pretty tree. It's a double grave because no way they will let anything get between them even in death.

"You're not allowed to die first," Sirius will say and James will laugh.

"I would never do that to you! We already discussed this seventy years ago Sirius. We'll die in our sleep, at the same time. That's how it will go!"

Then they laugh, knowing that chances for that are slim and that eventually one of them will have to deal with the grief of loosing their soul mate. Neither of them wants to imagine that. It seems so impossible.

The nice spot on the graveyard spends many years waiting for them. Winters in which they watch the snow fall by the pond, Summers where they rest on the bed with the windows wide open, fingers barely touching. On one day in autumn, neither of them wakes up.

One of their friends from the village will come check on them later and find them holding eachother. They look peaceful. Just like they're sleeping.

In the end the universe let them keep their promise.

[marichive]

𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐓 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐌

A collection of prompts centered around love & desire, taken from various sources. Adjust gender / pronouns / wording / etc. as needed. Some prompts are highly suggestive in nature. Engage appropriately.

─── 𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞

❝ It’s nothing, I just . . . I’m glad you’re here. ❞

❝ Could you stay with me? Just for a little while longer? ❞

❝ If you remember me, then I don't care if everyone else forgets. ❞

❝ I can feel your heart beating in your chest. ❞

❝ Just a kiss. That’s all I ask. ❞

❝ I will always be yours. ❞

❝ You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, ❞

❝ You make me feel safe. ❞

❝ You’ll always have a place here. ❞

❝ I’ve never felt like this before. ❞

❝ I’m afraid of what I feel. But . . . I think just that means it’s something worth feeling. ❞

❝ I have loved you from the moment I first heard my name fall from your lips. ❞

❝ Go back to sleep. I promise I will still be here when you wake. ❞

❝ Nothing and no one can hurt you. Not while I’m here. ❞

❝ I don’t want you in my life. You are my life. ❞

❝ I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to waste another moment I could spend with you. ❞

❝ I want you, just as you are. ❞

❝ You love me. Real, or not real? ❞

❝ I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. ❞

❝ You are, and always have been, my dream. ❞

─── 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

❝ I’ve always wanted you. Only you. ❞

❝ Can’t you see what you do to me? ❞

❝ Don’t you understand? I would do anything for you. ❞

❝ You are my undoing. I cannot tell if you will be my ruin or my salvation, and I’m no longer sure if I care which it will be. ❞

❝ When I look at you, I see something divine. Something holy. ❞

❝ It’s you I want to worship. I will make supplication to your lips and offer my prayers at the altar between your knees. ❞

❝ I was a monster and you made me a man. ❞

❝ For your sake, I am debased. For you alone, I am weak. ❞

❝ I would lay the whole earth at your feet if you asked it of me. The sun, the moon, and all the stars, I would make them yours. ❞

❝ What I feel for you is not gentle, nor meek. It is not beautiful. It wretched, it is dark and depraved with desire. And it is consuming me whole. ❞

❝ Break my heart if you wish, but the pieces will still be yours. ❞

❝ Tell me you do not feel it, and I will name you a liar. ❞

❝ You are far too good for unworthy hands like mine ❞

❝ To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves. ❞

❝ I fear if I let you touch me, I will fall apart. ❞

❝ There are certain things we must not want, yet I find myself wanting them nonetheless. ❞

❝ I need you. I need to have you. I need to make you mine. ❞

❝ You ruined me in my heart long before you ever touched my skin. ❞

❝ Must I beg? Must I fall to my knees and plead for the mercy of your touch? ❞

❝ I want it to be my name that you call in the dead of night, my name that rests upon your tongue when your body shivers. Mine alone. ❞

─── 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲

❝ I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. ❞

❝ You deserve better than that. ❞

❝ I lie awake at night in restless agony, wishing you were there beside me. ❞

❝ Do you not know how you haunt me? ❞

❝ In my dreams, I am yours. ❞

❝ I am to wed someone else. ❞

❝ Does he make you feel like this? ❞

❝ We both know who you’re truly thinking of when you’re with him. ❞

❝ You taste sweeter than she ever could. ❞

❝ She’s not the one I want. ❞

❝ Just because I know I can’t have you, it change what I feel for you. ❞

❝ He’s not good for you. ❞

❝ Every time I see you with him it kills me a little more inside. ❞

❝ Let me go. The more we hold on to this, the more it will hurt us both. ❞

❝ This is not allowed of us. We mustn’t – ❞

❝ Put aside your pride and admit that you want me. ❞

❝ Will I only ever be worthy of stolen moments in the shadows? ❞

❝ If he puts his hands on you again, I’ll cut them off. ❞

❝ When I’m with her, I pretend that it’s you. ❞

❝ Does he know? ❞

─── 𝐚𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐬

❝ Say you love me, and I know it will all be okay. ❞

❝ Do you know how long I have waited for this? For the day I could hold you in my arms and call you mine? ❞

❝ I fought for this. For you. ❞

❝ I never stopped loving you. I was only afraid of what you were becoming. ❞

❝ Come back. Even as a shadow. Even as a dream. ❞

❝ To feel anything deranges you. To be seen feeling anything strips you naked. ❞

❝ When I desire you a part of me is gone. ❞

❝ Desire doubled is love, and love doubled is madness. ❞

❝ I suppose you do love me, in your way. ❞

❝ Love does not make me gentle or kind. ❞

❝ I desire the things which will destroy me in the end. ❞

❝ There is a gentle thought that often springs to life in me, because it speaks of you. ❞

❝ The gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy. ❞

❝ I should not have waited so long. I should have kissed you every night and every day. You were made to be kissed, often and well. ❞

❝ I crossed a thousand leagues to come to you. Don’t tell me to leave. ❞

❝ Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same. ❞

❝ You're mine. Mine, as I'm yours. And if we die, we die. All men must die. But first, we'll live. ❞

❝ My sword is yours. My life is yours. My heart is yours. ❞

❝ We all dream of things we cannot have. ❞

❝ Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! ❞

[conjugate-wumbo]

throwing these carcar wips out into the ether to make sure I actually finish some of them:

loud places

oscar is a pure empath - he can feel what others are feeling around him, acutely if they touch him. it's all very overwhelming all the time, so as a form of exposure therapy, he spends every friday night at a nightclub. the rest of the week feels tolerable after a night of overstimulation. one such night he hooks up with a handsome stranger who doesn't callously discard him at the end of the night like the others. handsome stranger takes care of him, gives him a snack, and pays for his uber back home, all the while radiating genuine caring energy. said stranger also shows up at oscar's workplace on monday morning. "meet your new manager, carlos." shenanigans ensue.

the 24-year-old brain cannot comprehend this

after a year of crushing hard on carlos, oscar and carlos are finally in the beginnings of dating - the really-getting-to-know-each-other phase. unfortunately oscar is still 23-24 and has smashed peas in place of a fully developed prefrontal cortex, making him immature, insecure, and toxic. carlos realizes oscar is not ready for this yet and breaks things off, leaving oscar in an even messier state. oscar has to learn to grow up a bit before they can get their happy ending. aka join me on an autobiographical tour of my worst aura moments!

across the stars

star wars prequel era au. carlos is a newly promoted jedi knight, and oscar is his former master's (fernando) new padawan. (in my headcanon, force-sensitive kids do the youngling group training until like middle school age, and then they become padawans - obviously i'm trying to mirror the grid kid oscar vs debut gp carlos dynamic.) kind of a slice of life coming of age together + plus secret romance in the shadows. tempted to make this a tragedy à la order 66 ending.

hex

major age difference but not in the way you think. oscar is a 90-year-old vampire. carlos works the night security shift at a museum to supplement his meager stipend as an art history grad student. carlos falls first, but oscar falls harder. cue existential crises about life and immortality and can you tell i was watching interview with the vampire when this idea struck me.

enterprise risk management

workplace au. oscar is a meticulous, per the policy, by the book, senior accountant at a major nonprofit. carlos is the big personality applications manager in IT. they have to work together on the implementation of a new accounting software, and carlos's seemingly lax attitude just drives oscar up the wall. oscar is glad when the impementation is over. until he inexplicably misses carlos. so oscar starts trying to invent issues with the software as an excuse to get carlos to come over to his desk. ("stop inventing.")

cerulean himbo sunshine

coffee shop / tattoo parlour au. light and fluffy (hopefully). carlos runs a hip local coffee shop down the street from the tattoo collective oscar just joined. carlos is super annoying, always singing along to his stupid playlist, and worse he's already friends with everyone at the tattoo collective so oscar is alone in his annoyance. but carlos has is fair share of annoyances about oscar too - for instance, why does he never order an actual coffee? classic reluctant acquaintances to lovers. picturing carlos as the titular himbo.

outdoor school

oscar and carlos are grad students who have to spend the summer as camp counselors as part of their outreach project. and they're forced to share a tiny cabin. honestly this writes itself, i have mo excuse not to finish it. i guess i just love writing them as grad students.

plus a few more that are just barely ideas that i'm too tired to include here.

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"THE SKIRT STAYS ON"

Soooo I wrote another fic with Will because I (need him so bad and I would do anything for spending one night with him holy fuck) love him so much

I hope you like it!

WARNING : EXPLICIT SMUT UNDER THE CUT

The FBI Academy was lonely that Friday afternoon. Everyone wanted to go home early and start their weekend as soon as possible, but you were still there.

You walked through the long, dark hallways of the academy on your way to your professor's office. The moonlight was the only thing that allowed you to have visibility, since the janitor, seeing no one, had decided to turn off all the lights in the premises.

As soon as you arrived, you knocked softly on the door, waiting for confirmation from him.

-Come in -he said, and you closed the door behind you as you entered-

You turned to him. His gaze focused on the folder you carried around your waist for a moment, before speaking.

-Oh, it's you - he observed, taking off his reading glasses, leaving them on the pile of books that was in a corner of the table - sit down - he invited, pointing to the chair in front of him - I've made coffee - he announced, getting up to pour some into two cups -

You stared at his broad back for longer than you should have, you swallowed hard when you saw how the shape of his arms could be seen under the thin fabric.

-I don't know why you come during office hours - he murmured - it's not that I'm complaining or anything, I… I enjoy your company immensely, but your grades are the highest in the class - he laughed softly - you're almost better than I was when I was in college and I had exactly the same resume as you

He left the cups on the table in front of you. You took the one that was closest and blew on the liquid a little to cool it down, before taking a small sip.

-There is no need to be modest - he continued - modesty is good, it helps us not to have our heads in the clouds, but don't think that I don't see the results of your hard work - he whispered, drinking from his cup - you take your time to hand in perfect assignments, not like the rest of my students - he observed - you spend your days studying and working, hence your grades are perfect - he said - spending your time on that when you could be going out to party or whatever it is that young people your age do today

-The truth is that there are not many options - you intervened, making him look at your cheek, always avoiding eye contact - going out to party guarantees you a one-way ticket to the incredible station of popularity - you shook your head negatively -

-And you are not interested in accepting that ticket from what I see - he assumed, you nodded -

-I loved it when I told you "what young people do today" - you laughed - basically because you are not old man

-I know- he nodded- I got my master's degree four years ago- he shook his head- anyway you're not here for me to talk to you about my life- he interlaced his fingers, while leaning on the table- What can I do for you?

That question included several answers, which you couldn't say out loud.

-It's about the last exam we took- you began-

-What's wrong with it? –he questioned, frowning-

-You forgot to correct one of the exercises that is worth one point –you said-

-Oh, I'm… I'm sorry, I didn't realize –he apologized, somewhat embarrassed- I was probably doing other things at the same time and forgot to add it to the total score –he said- it won't be a problem, I'll add it right now –he opened one of the drawers and took out a stack of papers that he went through until he found your test –it happens more often than you think –he commented while writing it- most students don't want to come to my office or stay a few minutes after class-

He stopped looking at the test for a moment, until he found the uncorrected exercise. He looked at it for a few moments, before placing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

-Wait a moment… -he murmured, placing the sheet of paper on the table while gesturing to you with his head- come here –he asked, his tone of voice was authoritative and kind at the same time, which you had not heard before- you have not used the correct formula –he pointed to the operations that were under the statement- even so, your grade is still very good –he said, tilting his head towards you for a moment- I expected nothing less from you

He put the sheet back in the drawer with the others before speaking again.

-Was that all? –he asked- Do you have any questions about yesterday's class? I know that the principles of forensic science can be a little complicated and…

He stopped to observe you for a moment. He looked at the shape of your back and how you tried to move your neck as little as possible.

-Are you okay? –he murmured- you seem… tense, nervous even –he handed you your cup of coffee- hold it in your hands –he invited- warmth always calms me –he added- maybe the same thing happens to you

You nodded for a moment, trying to focus on the warmth of the cup and not on how the damn glasses he was wearing made his eyes look bigger and bluer than normal.

-Can you… –you swallowed nervously- close the door?

-Sure –he murmured walking towards it to put the latch - I don't think anyone is going to suddenly appear anyway- that's it –he announced- now you can speak freely –he said sitting back down on the chair in front of you- it's okay, you can tell me even if it's nothing related to classes –he said- we've known each other for two years, you've come to each and every one of my lessons without exception, even the ones that were given during after-school hours –he paused- even the ones on Fridays –he murmured- you're always in the front row writing down the most important things. But, you don't ask questions during those talks - he observed -

-It's because I don't want to be the center of attention - you confessed, he nodded leaning back in the chair -

-I see - he murmured - out there you only talk when someone does it first - he explained - but here it's not the same - he whispered - in my classes, I mean - he corrected himself - little by little you've come out of your shell - he observed - you just needed time

-I didn't think it was so obvious - you murmured timidly -

-Just because I've been teaching for a couple of years doesn't mean I don't focus on my students - he added - so… Do you want to tell me what's bothering you? I promise that whatever it is won't leave this room

-Really? - you questioned, he nodded very seriously -

-Of course - he assured you -

You squeezed the fabric of your skirt between your fingers, while taking a deep breath before answering.

-I may be… -you swallowed hard- there's no easy way to say this but… I like you -you blurted out-

He stared at you for a few seconds, expressionless, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

-I see -he whispered- and how long have you been feeling that way?

-For a couple of months now -you confessed, he nodded-

-I feel like an idiot -he murmured- I'm not good at seeing those kinds of signs

-I haven't been very clear either, I'm sorry

-No no please, don't apologize -he was quick to respond- it's not your fault, it's just that sometimes I can be blind to some things -he said- there was no easy way to approach the subject, but you did it -a slight smile appeared on his lips- it must have been difficult -he added- I'm proud of you -he said- I can't imagine the amount of time it must have taken you to gather the courage to say it

-Are you angry? –you questioned, he shook his head-

-Not at all –he assured- Why would I be? –he looked down at your lap- your hands are shaking –he observed- Do you want me to hold them? –he asked, you didn't make any movement- Give me the cup –he said- I don't think either of us are going to drink anymore

Your hands brushed when you handed him the cup. Neither of you moved away. His hand held yours with a gentleness that took your breath away for a moment.

-Your hand- he whispered- is warm, and soft- he observed- and it still shakes a little- he murmured as he gestured for you to come closer- come, let me give you a hug- he said, and you did, you approached and he wrapped you in his arms-

-That's it- he whispered running his hand up and down your back- everything's okay- he murmured as his touch paused for a moment on the small of your back- I never realized how small you are compared to me until now- his husky laugh reached your ears, making a shiver run through you- there's always some kind of table separating us, but now that we're so close, I can rest my chin gently on your head- he observed doing just that- Do you feel calmer now?

You wanted to yell at him that calm was not the word you would use.

-A little - you answered with a small mouth-

-A little - he repeated- good, I'm glad - he said- your breath tickles my collarbone, darling - he whispered- Can I call you that? - he asked- I felt the shiver that ran through your body when I said it - he smiled- something tells me you like sweet names - he said- Can you look me in the eyes, baby? - he murmured- Can you do it for me?

You turned your head slowly, to rest your gaze on his. His beautiful blue eyes held yours with intensity and delicacy in equal parts.

-Oh, there's that shiver again - he observed- the blush on your cheeks - he whispered- how adorable - he murmured- let your precious brain rest for a moment

You swallowed hard, at the same time that you lowered your gaze to his lips before looking him in the eyes again.

-I want to kiss you- you murmured, overcoming your shyness for a moment-

-Is that so? - he asked, leaving a lock of hair behind your ear- well, when you say it in that kind tone and with that sweet expression that matches him, I don't see how I could refuse

Slowly you approached him, closing the distance that separated you and placed your lips against his.

The kiss was calm and affectionate, as if both of you had wanted to do that for a long time, and now that the moment had arrived neither of you knew how to react.

-You've blushed again, and we've only kissed- he said, his voice dropping two octaves- I wonder if I can make that shade of red turns into a darker one, but I won't do anything you don't want - he whispered - What I said before is true - he murmured - About your brain being precious - he smiled - Although honestly, all of you are precious - he explained - Your personality, your eyes, your smile - He looked at you for a moment - Your body added making the blush on your cheeks accentuate -

-Are you serious? - You questioned in a low voice, he nodded -

-Of course I am - he answered - When have you seen me joke in a serious situation? - He laughed -

-Never - You murmured, losing yourself in the blue of his eyes -

-Exactly, and I never joke when it comes to you - He looked down at your lips again - So what does my sweet girl want? - He asked delicately - And remember what I said about looking into my eyes

You blinked a couple of times, before resting your gaze on them again.

-Good girl - he praised, making you tremble under the weight of his gaze, while he brought you closer to him again to kiss you-

He dragged you onto his lap without moving away from you, making you fall messily on him.

He pulled away for a moment to observe you, before kissing you again, this time with more eagerness than the two previous times.

You placed your hands on his chest covered by a sky blue shirt, making him look at you attentively.

-It's okay, honey, you can touch me - he allowed when he felt your fingers tangling in the buttons of the garment- Can I touch you? - he asked, you nodded- Where do you want me to touch you?

Unable to speak, you pointed to your chest with your index finger.

-Take off your sweater- he murmured, and you did so under his watchful gaze, but when you moved your hands down to remove your skirt, he stopped you delicately- no, no, no- he scolded softly- leave it on- he whispered- let me adore you, starting with your lips

He left several kisses there before moving to the place where your pulse was beating, making you throw your head back at the touch of his lips there.

-And your neck- he continued observing your reactions- Is that sensitive? -he asked, the choppy sound that came from between your lips was enough of an answer for him- you're twisting your hips- he observed- I can feel how wet you are- he whispered leaving a kiss on your collarbone- be a good girl and ride my thigh- he asked- don't worry about my pants- he said as he continued kissing you-

Several sighs and gasps came from between your lips, making him smile against your skin.

-From the sounds you're making, I know you're enjoying it- he said kissing your chest gently- good girl- he praised again- moving like that against me… Are you going to cum?

-Yes… - you moaned holding onto his strong shoulders-

-Kiss me while you do it- he murmured, you nodded with difficulty, joining your lips with his-

Within a few seconds you came on him, your moans filled the air, which he drank in as he kissed you.

He pulled away from you to look you straight in the eyes, the blue of them that had been soft before, now shining like a Christmas ball.

-I'm glad you enjoyed it -he smiled- but I'm not done with you yet

He lifted you by your hips and sat you on the desk, pushing aside the papers that were there.

-Don't worry about them, they weren't important -he said following the direction of your gaze- you are the most important thing right now

From the moment he took off his pants the dynamic between you changed. You would never forget the gasps that came out of his throat when you moved your hand up and down him.

-I'm going to… -he gasped- I need… -he murmured- I'm going to fuck you -he said making you move against him-

He pushed his hips slowly against you, until he was completely inside

-You're taking it so well, baby -he whispered- Are you okay? Is it too much?

-I'm… -you murmured- I'm okay- you squealed when he moved- please, Will!

-That's it, precious take it- he said moving against you- good girl

His gasps and the moans that left your lips reverberated through the room as he pushed himself deeper into you, and you moved your hips to meet him.

-So beautiful, my good girl- he panted- look into my eyes- he ordered as he pushed into you- I can feel you tightening against me- he whispered- you're going to cum again, aren't you?- you nodded- kiss me

And that's what you did.

You both came hard against each other, as you looked into each other's eyes.

-You're beautiful - he whispered as he slowly pulled out of you - oh, shit - he gasped - and you're all mine - he added -

-Will… - you sighed - hug me again, please

-Sure, come here - he whispered making room for you in his arms - whatever you want, my princess

[roach-works]

hi there! you post a lot about animorphs and i personally did not have the opportunity to get into it all as a kid. do you perhaps have a recommended reading order? a favourite book? a beloved, accessible fanwork? i would like to be able to see what it's all about, and you seem to be the most accessible-to-me online authority on the subject :)

i'd suggest you just read the first 21 books straight through, then check your brain to see how fucked up you are. after that, freestyle based on Vibes.

but also you should read the ellimist chronicles and the hork-bajir chronicles right away because they're really fun* semi-standalone stories about aliens doing alien things and getting in alien trouble.

*they will hurt you :)