#but yes he looks stylin'

[yogoblog]

fucking sacrilegious

[blitzwhore]

I love how Blitz seems to battle with masculinity tbh?? Like he'll bottom but make fun of Moxxie for taking it from a woman, he'll sleep with guys but emotions are gay as hell, romance is beautiful and adorable but also kinda cringe that a guy would be that openly sappy, cool to wear drag and makeup and look stylin' but also like Moxxie is suuuuch a little princess right?? Anyway here are my various massive weapons that aren't compensating for anything. He's sooo obviously tackling severe internalised homophobia and toxic masculinity. As soon as it's not a show of strength or independence and shows any type of earnest vulnerability he immediately jumps to insinuating that it isnt the right way to be.

Ugh, yes, this! It's really interesting, because it's mostly showed subtextually (I hadn't even processed some of the examples you listed here) and it's quite easy to overlook. But, once you put the pieces together, you realise just how much he battles with shame around queerness, gender expression, and the ways they relate to vulnerability and emotion.

I personally headcanon that Cash, his dad, was homophobic. Maybe not like Crimson, who overtly hated and condemned anything queer, which in a way may have made it easier for Moxxie to realise just how awful those opinions were. I think Cash might have been queerphobic and sexist in a more insidious way. Think things like maybe treating Barbie like his little princess whom he needed to protect, all the while telling Blitz to man up. Think 'those people'-type comments, always said with a lower voice and a knowing, scornful smile. Or 'why can't they just keep it in the bedroom'. Or 'I'm fine with it, I just don't see why they need to make their whole identity about it'. Think him chastising his wife for letting Blitz cry past the age of 5-6, because he was going to turn him soft.

I explored Blitz's internalised homophobia a little bit in my Oops flashback fic, and I really want to dive into it more in future fics, because his struggle is just so interesting and relatable to me, as someone who grew up with it as well. You can really tell Blitz's relationship with his queerness (and how it interacts with his trauma) was written by people who have first-hand experience with this sort of grief. It's devastating, but also healing, in a way.

[babydollmarauders]

THROWBACKS — JACK HUGHES

part of the el!hughes au

y/n.hughes

liked by jackhughes, colecaufield, and 122,167 others

y/n.hughes alexa, play fifteen by taylor swift

though if i can make an amendment, there has been nothing greater than dating the boy on the hockey team 🤍 that boy has given me the world and the absolute cutest daughter in the world

tagged jackhughes

Load more comments

colecaufield damn, talk about some throwbacks!

y/n.hughes my phone made a compilation of these today and you know i just HAD to post them!

trevorzegras you post 3 photos of me and i don’t even get a tag?? i see how it is! hoe’s before bro’s i guess

y/n.hughes trevor, you’re letting your drama king out

trevorzegras he deserves to shine. don’t stick him in the basement when he deserves the pent house. he deserves to bejeweled.

y/n.hughes don’t you dare use the sacred word of mother against me! i advise you to check the book of Lover; chapter 14; verses 0:50-0:54

jackhughes it’s like i married trevor… oh i just got chills

user92 we ask, and y/n delivers omg

jackhughes lovie, you are the greatest thing i’ve ever done

y/n.hughes do you wanna reread what you just said?

jackhughes lovie, MARRYING YOU is the greatest thing i’ve ever done

jackhughes i still stand by my original comment though

y/n.hughes momma is gonna see this!

jackhughes we have a child, do you think she doesn’t already know these things?

slknight35 oh wow, you’ve been down tremendously for THAT man since you were 15? look at him

y/n.hughes since i was 13*

slknight35 that’s actually worse

_quinnhughes you two make me sick in the best way possible

y/n.hughes my bad, Q— didn’t know you were allergic to love

_quinnhughes you’ve been with him too long, he’s corrupted you. what happened to my sweet little y/n that asked me how the star wars movies were made if they would’ve been floating in space? she would never talk to me like this

y/n.hughes hey! i was young!

_quinnhughes you were 14, you were old enough to realize they weren’t actually filmed in space

y/n.hughes i was a dreamer and a believer! your brother seemed to have found that quite charming

jackhughes you were like an innocent little kicked puppy that i wanted to take home with me and keep safe forever

y/n.hughes @/jackhughes why do you speak? you’re SO pretty, and then you open your mouth

jackhughes technically, i didn’t say it, i typed it.

y/n.hughes @/jackhughes crib.

jackhughes yes, that is where El sleeps?

y/n.hughes @/jackhughes no, that is where YOU will sleep. act immature, get treated immature.

jackhughes i’m sorry, i love you

user27 these photos omg i just can’t even believe they’ve been together THIS long

lhughes_06 sis, i say this with so much love… why?

y/n.hughes what do you mean “why” ?!

lhughes_06 i mean, why the pictures? why Jack? why?

y/n.hughes you guys look adorable! and because he’s always been the cutest boy to ever walk the planet to me

lhughes_06 i think you need your eyes checked

jackhughes what is this, hate on Jack day?!

_alexturcotte i’ve always been stylin 💯

y/n.hughes hey remember when you used to call me at 7am and ask what you should wear?

_alexturcotte idk what you’re talking about. that doesn’t ring a bell.

y/n.hughes really? cause you did it for 5 years

_alexturcotte lovie, please, you’re killing my game

y/n.hughes you have game?!

[color-craz]

AF MidWeek Round-up!

This is just a simple post compiling all of my attacks so far along with some artists notes! Mostly because I found myself much more active this year than last year (Minus these few couple days due to some appointments). I'll be tagging everyone and linking to other socials so you can see these lovely folks. Of course if you want to attack me, I'm ready to fight! Without further ado, here's all the attacks so far :>

@cosmicdenro @stellarknightz - Weekend Date The name of the game for these first few attacks was to get everyone who I was supposed to last year but ran out of time ^^;;. I decided upon Jesse's Zircon over Jesse the character (one in my bookmarks) b/c it seemed like Turquoise Zircon was less drawn this year but was his icon on AF. So easy pick from me :> (Btw doing Sodalite's stripes and copying Zircon's shape language was really fun!!)

@/clawothy (Twitter) - Chill Cat Another attack from last years bookmarks! It was definitely a soft but enjoyable opening into drawing furries since Claw's so human shaped. It was fun drawing his tail and patterns :>. This is just a nice character design all around.

@twidaisi - Speedy Service Twi was also one from my bookmarks, but also a doorway down an ArtFight rabbit hole. Which will become apparent in the next two pieces. For this one, I had a pretty clear pose in mind so I placed it onto O.R.B.I and went from there!! His design is so neat and he seems so cool! The pose was also pretty fun to do as well, just an overall fun art piece (Also this one got a revenge!!! I still really really love thank you so much!!!!!)

@scratchgeist - Escapism Ho! This was a doozy! Twi had Scratch's profile linked so I ended up hitting him with an attack too. Drawing Scratch's mane turned out to be a pleasant experience despite me originally fearing it. This scene idea also came from a prompt of Scratch going outside. I ended up putting Polish on this because all those scratchy "ink like" lines I actually did manually (take a fuzzy brush and then go over it using a sketchbook eraser). It was nice dipping my toes into BatIM again and trying out more animal feature.

@/stylin.art Instagram @/crypticc0rpse Instagram - Pirates in arms One of those two people were linked on Scratch's profile and the person linked also linked to the other person. But I realized that both Stylin and Crypt had some shared characters. So this ended my little rabbit hole of people by attacking these two lovely fellows at the same time. This little crossing swords idea took me a nice minute to come up with but I liked how it ended up anyway. I really did like drawing James together like this (probably helps that I really like pirates in general). Also yes I know her hand is fucked up I noticed way to late to fix it.

@smoresthehalloweenqueen - Listen to the waves Once I finished up with that I moved onto the next bookmark, which was Smores! Originally I was gonna draw Brutus but then I was like "I like his sona it looks like fun!" So I drew them listening to music because why not :>. I struggled on the arms initially but it came out real clean and nice. Honestly might be my best work so far! (Fun fact, I color picked the waves + background from Seafoam's icon.)

@skittisketch - I got it! Mr. Sascachawean himself! I referenced this pose form the classic Objection point because I thought it would fit his personality. This was also a little bit of a test with a style I had only done in sketches (Basically my human style but omitting a neck which somehow shaves off a lot of time). This was a super fun pose to do with a pretty nice background! (Once again, fucked up hand I know I noticed too late again)

@justpainterrobot - Rare Nightly Sight I had this really really clear picture of what I thought up for this attack and I'm happy that I was able to make it a reality. I put the polish tag on this one because I almost got super super detailed of what the junk was below her (Stuff coming down from Elysium n all that) but due to a lack of references I just went with typical metal and wood. Fun fact, the night sky in the background is based on the one from Deponia itself (The first game's scenes with the professor at night). I think this rewrite of Toni was really cool from what I could find about her. Overall a labor of love type of attack.

@coelpts @swan-swanno - Boss Battle I thought to myself "Hm, I see Coelpts around a lot, lets hit him with an attack." and it turns out Ciel's gay married to Swanno's charater Mikhail, who was the last one in my bookmarks from last year. So another double attack for this one! It was a struggle starting this one mostly because I was debating whether or not to draw Ciel's Lord outfit but I ended up doing so because why not :>. It was a fun experience copying Swanno's more angular style, which is a stark departure from my more rounded shapes (As you can see here). Has a nice venture doing the lighting as well, overall a good experience.

@tailsylennon - Sweet Treats Mitchell showed off Tasily's proflie one day and I saw their sona and was I was like "Lemme draw it!" and did! I ended up following another prompt by her because it was their birthday! (By the time I started on this it was 8 pm and I freaked tf out and got to work). Her sona was really cool and I really loved drawing them. Fun fact, each of the set pieces references the Hallows Souls trio. The chair is decorated after Terra, Markus is the table, and Whistle pallet is used for the tea set :>. It was just a pleasant and cozy attack to make overall.

@ceaseless-enemy - Congratulations!!!! I've actually known about Voila for quite awhile now and thought his design n theaming is quite neat! I actually based the pose off of Ai from Oshi No Ko (I think one of her key arts before the anime released, ifykyk). But I skillfully cut out the legs because I can't draw digitigrade legs... Hooray... Otherwise it was quite nice to work on this attack in particular, especially the eyes and the hair :>.

@killbent - Getting Ready This is another one I had a real clear idea of prior to doing this, specifically because Killbent gave a prompt to give Mr Fairchime pink hair, so i thought a "pre-show" set up would look nice :>. The lighting was another new venture for me, because I usually do cool/night time like lighting but I think it turned out nicely for Fairchime. It was also fun doing the accessories and stuff on the vanity as well. Fun Fact, it's a bit hard to see through the watermark + lighting but the face paint and pallet both have the colors of his make up! Overall a pleasant and warm attack for this year.

And that's all of them so far! I picked up some new bookmarks + I gotta get Twi back for drawing Compact!! So those will probably be compiled by the end of AF so about, early August-ish if I keep up the pace. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and gracing me with the opportunity to draw all of these amazing characters!

Until next time!

-Gappy, Witch of the Stars

[tdinyomomma]

TDI X Reader- Paintball Deer Hunter (Chapter Nine)

If you haven't read: Eight

We wake up to the noise of a helicopter flying over us, I watch Leshawna hit her head on the top bunk just like before. 

"Ooh! Okay. That dude is really starting to get on my last nerve." She complains, rubbing her head. 

"Oh, whatever. He just loves ruining our mornings. Beth, Lindsay, go warm up the shower for me." Heather orders and I raise a brow. She seems to catch it so she stammers for a second. 

"Now!... Please." She rolls her eyes and I smile. "And remember-" 

"Not too hot this time, I know." Beth yawns, still wearing her headgear. 

 I sigh, shaking my head.

Now we're all in front of the bathroom, waiting for the door to open so we can all use it. "What's the hold-up?" Bridgette asks. 

"Heather needs her private time." Lindsay answers in a simple tone. 

"How long is Quennie gonna take in there? I got urgent business." Leshawna impatiently speaks up, holding herself. "She could still be a while." Beth sighs. 

"Ugh, that's it I'm going lumberjack style." Gwen groans, walking away and then the loud speaker squeaks before Chris starts talking. 

"I hope you're ready for the most challenging challenge yet. Breakfast is in three minutes at the campfire pit." Chris tells us then Beth knocks. "Um, Heather?"

"Can one of you guys come in here and lotion my back? It's peeling." Heather responds and we all quickly rush away from the communal bathroom, Leshawna and I gripping each other's hands since we have to go to the bathroom so badly.

"Are you ready for today's extreme max impact challenge?" Chris pumps up. "We are ready!" Owen of course hypes it up as usual.

 "Incoming!" The host throws a can of beans that go to hit Gwen but Trent catches it in time. Chris then hands the other ones out normally.

"This is breakfast." He tells us.

"No, breakfast is crepes, croissants, even chef's crappy burnt eggs." Heather interjects angrily and I stare down at my can.

"Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. The more you eat the more you-" Before the big guy can finish his song, Chris knocks him out with one of the cans of beans.

"Today's challenge is about survival. We're going hunting." He lifts a paintball gun and I could feel Duncan's excitement radiating off of him from where I was standing. 

"Now that's more like it." The boy I was just talking about smiles softly. "Isn't that a paintball gun?" Harold points at the green gun. "Why yes Harold, it is." The host points it at the auburn haired boy's stomach with a grin, then shoots it.

"So we won't be killing anything?" Bridgette questions. 

"Negatory."

She smiles at his response. 

"This is the first ever paintball deer hunt. I'll announce the teams once we get into the woods. So finish breaky." As soon as Chris finishes his sentence Owen burps loudly, we look over to see he had finished twenty cans of beans. He sighs contently. "Got anymore?"

A thing of guns now sits in front of us, we stand in the front of the woods. Also accompanied with the guns and a box in front of them is Chris with a shit-eating grin laid upon his face.

"And now for the team breakdowns. The Killer Bass hunters are: Harold, Geoff, and Bridgette, locked and loaded with Bass blue paint." He throws green guns to the three. 

"And using orange paint are the Gopher hunters, Leshawna, Beth, Owen, Lindsay." Throwing them red guns.

"Waa-hoo! This is awesome, man." Owen cheers. "You also get these stylin' glasses and wicked camo caps. The rest of you are now deer." He points at us and we all just stare at him. 

"Here are your antlers, noses, and little white tails." He chuckles, turning around to shake his hips showing off the tail. I go up and grab my stuff even though I know he's going to throw it I would rather just get it on now.

"Yeah, right. I'm not wearing that." Heather folds her arms. "There's no way I'm a deer." Duncan adds on to the complaining but Chris throws the costume on him anyways to his distaste. I snicker, wiggling my own hips as I look back to the tail.

We go into the woods after everyone puts their stuff on. I walk in front of my group happily. "Why are you so giddy?" Heather questions. "I love hide and seek, this is just different." I smile.

"Right, this may be the lamest thing I've ever done in my life." Gwen sighs out. "Oh, come on, it could be fun." Cody tries to be enthusiastic but the others stare him down so I stand up for him. "I mean he's right, there's no point to be such downers." I place my hands on my hips, but they don't move an inch so I sigh. "We'll see you later, Debbie downers." I wave them goodbye taking Cody by the arm with me.

"I was so psyched to be a deer. I'm small but quick. Lot's of practice from dodging spitballs in math class." Cody smiles but now he's in a wheelchair covered in bandages.

"Why'd you come with me?" Cody suddenly speaks up after we've been walking in silence for a few moments. "Don't think too much into it, love." I nudge him, starting to mess with the trees around me, jumping up to grab onto the leaves up high. 

"That's kinda hard to do." He mumbles, I then halt my movements, standing in front of him. "Here, Cody." I start with a sigh. 

"You obviously still like me right?" I ask in a hypothetical way, of course he nods vigorously. "If you don't flirt with me at all. I'll kiss you after the challenge. Win or lose." I cross my arms. Looking at him dead in the eyes. His eyes go wide as his face turns a bright red. 

"Only. If you don't flirt with me in any kind of way." I repeat myself to make sure I'm clear. He nods, now he's not letting out a peep.

"Start your paintballs! Game on!" Chris yells over the P.A. We make our way through the woods calmly, not seeing anybody so far. 

"I didn't know you were friends with Heather?" Cody finally says something.

 "I guess." I shrug, looking down at my light pink painted nails that Heather did last night.

He went quiet again then spoke up. "I'm gonna go on my own if that's okay?" He turns to me and I nod. "Yeah, I'll catch you later." I smile, both of us go our separate ways.

As I'm going down a path I spot Geoff coming towards my way so I rush behind a bush. I watched him start walking by, he was whistling, not really paying attention to anything around him. But of course I lose my balance as I lean forward and end up tripping from behind the bush falling onto Geoff who balances us out. I chuckle nervously as I look up at him. 

"Awe, you look so cute, dude!" He tells me and I raise a brow, letting go of him. "Um, thanks. But aren't you, y'know... gonna shoot me?" I glance around to see nobody else nearby. "Oh, right." He points the gun at me and I wince, waiting for the pain but it never comes. "I can't do it." He huffs. 

"You're just too adorable, like a real deer!" He exclaims, rubbing his face in a frustrated way. As he deals with that problem I take it as a chance to make a run for it. Running off a path and deeper into the woods. As I keep going I squint my eyes to see Heather sitting on a tree stump.

Carefully I maneuver over to her, then sneak up behind and poke her sides. 

"Boo!" I laugh as she jumps, hitting my arm. 

"Don't do that." She glares at me. "Ah, but it's so much fun." I chuckle, forcing her to scoot over so I can sit next to her. "What are you doing?" She quizzes me.

"Being friends, duh." I smile sweetly, kind of sarcastically too. "Would you want me to be on your lap instead?" I tease her, she scoffs, looking away from me.

We sit practically in silence until we spot Cody and Beth walking this way. She puts her hands on her hips. "What took you so long?" Heather questions in an irritated tone. 

"Here, I hope you know what I had to go through to get those." Beth says, handing a chip bag to Heather who snatches it from her. 

"There's like 11 chips left." She shakes the bag then sniffs it. "And they're barbeque." Heather scrunches her face in disgust, sticking her arm out from her body. "Go exchange them for dill pickle." She drops the bag on the ground, it looks like Beth goes to grab it but instead she stops herself, putting her foot down.

 "No."

"What did you just say?" Heather looks shocked. I watch nervously but also proud of Beth. 

"I'm just gonna... Yeah." Cody reaches down and grabs the bag of chips then scurries off into the woods.

"Take it back." Heather demands. Beth takes a deep breath, 

"No." She repeats the same word as before. 

"Take. It. Back." Heather angrily says. 

"No, I'm tired of being your slave." Beth stands up for herself, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a challenge to complete." Beth storms off then orange splats onto Heather's arm next to me. "Ouch!" She whines.

"Whoever you are, this is so not cool!" I get up immediately as another shot gets her. I notice Bridgette and Harold high five and they might not be as caring as Geoff so I book it.

As I have to go on my own once again, I spot Gwen and Trent talking together. I furrow my eyes, hiding behind a tree to eavesdrop. Of course I shouldn't but I'm nosy and why not?

"So, do you still have that thing for [Name]?" Trent asks, I scrunch my nose, not expecting to hear my name so quickly into listening in. "Mm, I think I'm getting over it, she won't talk to me now after avoiding her. Which I get... I guess. So I don't see anything happening anyways." Gwen sighs. 

"Well you were hurting. Of course you weren't going to talk to her for a little bit." He feeds into her delusions about it being okay to avoid somebody who didn't even do anything wrong.

"Yeah, you're right. Y'know I think you're really helping me get over her." Gwen smiles at him and I gag silently then I just continue on my way to a different area.

"Attention human wildlife and hunters. Please report back to camp. It's time to show your hides and tally up the score." Chris's voice is heard over the woods.

We all slowly find each other, heading out of the forest. I see Leshawna, Beth, and Heather covered in paint as Lindsay walks besides them, seemingly not having a trace of paint on her.

They're covered in orange and blue.

"What happened?" I snort but Heather puts her hand up and then slaps it over my mouth. "Don't ask." She then storms away. I snicker, but follow right behind her.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Stealing from the chef, eating chips in the woods, being mauled by bears. Do you know what I see here?" Chris paces back and forth. I sadly stare at Cody's injuries. "I see a very undisciplined group. I see a disgraceful mess. I see a massive waste of paint products. And I have to say... that was awesome!" Chris goes from looking disappointed and angry to now grinning ear to ear.

"When you guys opened fire on your own team, wicked t.v. guys." He complimented me. 

"Hey where are Duncan and Courtney?" Harold speaks up, then the two come up walking together, their antlers connected to each other. "Oh this is too much." Gwen taunts. Owen laughs as well. "You know you guys can take off the antlers now." I giggle behind my hand. "Duncan you sly dog, you." Owen comments.

"The girl can't keep her antlers off me," Duncan jokes but it backfires on him as Courtney kicks him in the crotch. 

"Can't even bend over." He cries out, one tear sliding down his cheek.

"Easy Courtney, our medical tents are really only equipped for one at a time. And Cody's pretty messed up." Chris tells the girl as his arm rests on Cody's wrapped head.

Then Bridgette and Geoff help the oh-so happy looking couple. Duncan now holding himself on the ground. 

"Well, since three of the Gophers are dripping in paint-" Lindsay turns around to show her blue backside, cutting off the host. "Make that four members and some of them aren't even deer. I think we have our winner." He turns to the killer Bass. "You're off to a hunting-camp shindig." He then looks at us. "Gophers. I'll see you at the campfire ceremony. Again." He says plainly.

I head over to Cody, bending down to his level. 

"Are you okay?" I question him and he laughs in pain. "No, not at all." His voice is muffled but I can make it out, he grunts though cause he moved the wrong way. "We should've stayed together." I told him.

"So we both could get mauled?" He jokes... kind of. I shake my head laughing. "We probably would've never bumped into Beth and got those chips." I say.

I ended up sticking with him until the campfire ceremony and even then I was still with him, his wheelchair in front of my tree stump, I kept him in place.

"I mean seriously, twice in a row? What is wrong with you people?" Heather goes off on us. I roll my eyes. "I can't wait to see Beth get kicked off. I just wish I could vote off two campers at once." Heather says, and Leshawna just gives her an amused look.

"Okay, I know I got mauled by a bear but I'm feeling good about this. I'm a quick healer. And besides Heather's as mean as a snake dude. Her own team shot her 18 times. They'll never kick me off." cody smiles, confident that he's right about what he's saying

"Who do I vote for? Well, Heathers have been a pain in my butt since day one. But I got to say, Cody." Leshawna sadly says.

"Yeah, that Cody. Not so useful in challenges anymore." Owen shrugs.

"I totally admire Belle for standing up to Heather, but she's so dead now." Lindsay holds her face.

"I don't want to do this but Cody... Only because he needs to heal at home. He won't be able to do that here." [Name] frowns.

"There are only eight marshmallows on this plate when I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper-" 

"Who doesn't receive the marshmallow must immediately return to the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers and leave. Can't we just get this over with?" Gwen cuts him off, speaking faster than he did. In response Chris looks unhappy. 

"Fine, whatever. Spoil the moment. Trent, Lindsay, Owen, Gwen, Leshawna, [Name], Beth." We all take our squishy fluff. "Campers this is the final marshmallow tonight." It's now between Heather and Cody. 

"Heather."

She gets up and snatches her marshmallow from the host's hands. "You are all lucky. Okay? Very lucky." She glares at us all.

"Cody, the dock of shame awaits, bro." The boy stares at the host, not being able to move. "I guess we can help you get there."

"I got it." I stand up, starting to push the wheelchair just as Beth tried to get up to offer. 

"Bye Cody." Gwen says, everyone sadly joins in and waves him goodbye. 

"See ya, buddy." Leshawna grins. 

"Take care, dude." Owen says.

We get to the dock and going down further. "I'm so sorry Cody about what happened. I'm gonna be honest. I voted for you." We come to a stop and I get in front of him. His eyes widened.

 "Before you get upset, I just want you to know I did it because I want you to heal properly, you're not going to do that here." I tell him, wanting to comfort him but he's covered in injuries, literally head to toe.

"Can I uncover your mouth?" I tilt my head, he hums a muffled "mhm." I gently do so, surprisingly his mouth is not scathed in any way.

"Remember what I said in the woods?" I smiled softly, he looked confused for a second then his eyes brightened. 

"Really? You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

"I keep to my word Cody, just shut up." I laugh, leaning down and placing a soft peck on his lips then standing up straight. The boat shows up and I turn to it then back at him. "Here's your ride." I clasp my hands together. 

"Thank you, [Name]. Even though I know you don't like me back." He weakly smiles.

"It's no problem, I hope you heal perfectly. Now you can say you kissed a rich girl when I win the money." I wink, helping him onto the boat and I hear him chuckle only before he winces in pain.

The boat leaves and I wave him off.

I take a deep breath then walk back to my cabin. 

Okay you've probably seen it is now officially a Heather x Reader story now. But if you wanted it to be Cody tomorrow I will be coming out with a Cody x Reader story! It will be placed in Season three World Tour. I'm super excited to start writing that. I might start a Gwen story but I'm kind thinking how I can work that out or if I want to.

I hope everyone is enjoying this story because I know I'm having a lot of fun writing for everyone. Thank you so much for interacting, spamming everything I appreciate you all so so so much.

Link to other writings If you want to request an imagine you can comment or dm privately!

taglist: if you want to be added lmk!

@pulling-out-my-eyes

@laecrowa

@bbootyyyshaker9000

@marsyay78

@random-apples-blog

@tulipatheticee

@psychicglitterdetective

@keriaonmarz

@gummishiki

@jdkook

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

ONOT THE NEXT ONE “BETTER THAN WE FOUND” IT LAST PART I’M NOT READY BUT I SO AM

Ngl tho better than we found it is kinda a nice last title it has an air of lightness to it

.

it better hecking be reflected in this episode if it ends on a cliffhanger or angsty note i’ma lose it

okay here we go

(s4 special pt 4 spoilers ahead)

STARTING IT UP HECK BREAKS I’M JUST SITTING HERE

OOP

MK COMPASSION COMING THORUGH AGAIN

WELP THAT’S EVERYTING

SHIFU JUST WATCHING IT

OH ITS THE LITTLE GIRL

HI LITTLE GIRL

OH CHANG’E HI LOVE

HAHA PENG TRYING TO DIP

MEI

MEI’S NOT GONNA LET THEM

SHE WANTED TO FIGHT

AHA

AHAHAHAHAHA

TURNING WORDS BACK ON THEM NICE ONE THAT’S FUNNY

HAHA

MEI AND MACAQUE TEAMING UP IS SO GOOD

HELPGN;LDKMDS

JUST CHOMPS HIM UP

YELLOW TUSSKK COME ON BUDDY

SANDY

ABSOLUTE BELOVED

THAT’S NOT REALLY HOW WE ROLL HERE

AWWWW

YESSSSSS

LETSGOOOOOO

THEY FUN

I LOVE THEM

B TEAM MOVE OUT

MK JUST

QUIET

I LOVE HIM

HE’S SO GOOD

HE’S SO KIND

AFTR BEATING THE GRAP OU TO FHIM BUT Y’KNOW

OOP

THEM LOOKING AT WUKONG AS HE GOES PAST HECK

JUST STOP

HECK DUDE

I PUT YOU IN THE UNDERWORLD MYSELF?

HE WAS DEAD?

OH SHOOT

OHHHH

YEAH SOME OTHER THING HAPPENIGN

CACKLES

OKAY

YEAH RIP DUDE JSUT RELAX

IS HE GONNA DIE MAKING IT BETTER?

PROBABLY HUH

YEAH I GET THE FEELING WHOEVRE THIS IS IS AFTER YOU MK

OH YEAH THERE HE GOES

WUKONG STOPPING HIM

HECK DUDE

WHY DO YOU LOOK SURPRISED SHIFU

OH WOW HE’S

HECKING DISINGTERGRATING

YEAH OKAY BYE BUD

I’M

I DON’T REALLY FEEL SUPER BAD FOR YOU BUT

OH HECK UH

WHATS THAT WHO’S TAKING IT

IS THAT THE JADE EMPERORSPOWER YEAH

UH

SO WHO’S GONNA HANG ON TO THAT

OH NEZHA TRYING TO GOT THIS

I DONT’ THINK YOU WILL BUD

UH WHAT ARE THOSE CHAINS

HECK DUDE

oh nice hair tang  very fluffy we love that

OOP

TANG U GOT THIS

YES FRIEND GROUP POWER OF FRIENDSHIP MOMETN SURE YES

AND YELLOW TUUUUSK ILY

YEAHYEAH WE KNEW MAC WOULD HELP

ARE THEY GONNA LOCK THE JADE EMPERORS PWOER AWAY?

OH WOW NEZHA NICE

BRO

NICELY DONE

FFM IS NOT DESTROYED TAT’S AWSOME

HAHAHGHDFJKSDAF

UYEAH CHECK ON HIM ITS THE LAD

OH MAN DUDES BEEN THROUGH IT

HELPGN;LDSKFMAE

ILY ILY YOU PIGSY

ILY SM

DADSY REAL

TANG CALM DOWNG;LSKMF

SANDYGDS;FKAMGWEFIMAWF

MAAAAN

THEY SURE ARE FAMBLY MOMENT

GO ASK BUDDAH NEZHA

YOUR’E GONNA GT ATTACKED BY WHOEVER WANTED AZURE OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE

SEASON 5 IS TERRIFYING ME RN

ngl compared to the lbd one so far this felt a little anticlimactic and i porbably just jinxed myself but i dont care. that one also had 3 seasons of build up tho so… yeah hjGKL;SJADF MK THO

DANG

HELPGMSDFK

PUSHING WUKONG AWAY YUP

GOOD MOVE NEZHA

DESERVED

RED SON RED SON RED SON RED SON

OH THEY ARRESTED HIM HUH

AWWWWW

WELP

WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HIM MAN

JADE EMP IS DEAD

WHERE’S THE FUN IN TAHT

ALL THAT

SO LONG AS WE LEAVE THE WORLD IN BETTER SHAPE THEN WE FOUND IT… THEN ITS ALL GOOD RIGHT?

MK’S INJURED GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL

AND UH

OKAY WHERE’S THE OTHER BOOT DROPPING

I LOVE THEM SM

THEY ALL SO FANCY

HUG

SIDE HUG

.

HELPGN;DSAFKLMAWE

BEACH DAY

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

I’M WAITIN FOR THE BOOT DROP BUT I’M IGNORING IT NOW I HAVE TO APPRECAITE ALL OF THIS RIGHT NOW

THE SHIRT

THE HAT

THE SUNGLASSES

THE SHORTS

HE’S THE UNCLE THAT JUST GOT BACK FROM PICKIGN UP THE SNACKS

THE MEI MK AND RED SON, THE WAY RED SON’S STANDING, TANG WITH HIS UMBRELLA DBK AND PRINCESS IRON FAN STYLIN PIGSY IS THE DAD AT THE BBQ I’M GONNA CRY

PLEASE TANG’S FIT I’M CRYINGNS;LDKFM;AOWEF

NEXT FRAME MEI WITH THE WATER GUN RED SONGHL;KFAJ;OWIEMFASFD MK DECKED OUT IN SWIMMING GEAR I’M CRYING

PLEASE PRINCES IRON FAN PLAYING VOLLYBALL WITH THEM I’M SCREAMING

MEI LOOKS LIKE A DUDEBRO GAL I KNOW AND I’M LIVING FOR IT RED SON’S FACE PLEASELKMGOASDF I NEED THESE ALL FRAMED

PLS SANDY GETTING BURRIED TANG CARVING HIS MUSCLES OUT OF SAND PIGSY GIVING HIM A DRINK MO DECKED OUT IN SAND GEAR, RED SON’S SUNGLASSES ON A SAND SNOWMAN AND LOOKING ANNOYED ABOUT IT MK’S SMILE I’MGN;LSDKFM

I’M SCREAMING NEXT FRAME IS DBK AND SWK THE DADS FISHING THE BROS FISHING TOGETHER I’MGN;LSDFMAOWFIMSADF

SUNSCREEN

BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD

YOU’RE GETTING SO SUNBURNED

SUNSCREEN NEEDS TO ABSORB FIRSTN;LDKMSD

yeah that’s parent energy

.

i didn’t know sunscreen needed to absorb first-

OKAY MOVING ON G;LSDFNAB;OGAI;WEOFIM

PIGSY IS SUCH A DAD

UYUP THATS HOW WE ROLL

you don’t understand the moment i’m having here with MACAQUE AND HIS PINK SHIRT AND YELLOW PANTS AND PROBABLY LOW HANGING TANK TOP I’ SCREAMIGNDF;LAMEF;OAIWEN;OIAFM

“cute” WOW WHAT AN ANGLE

art for this show is so nice tho m a n

this is gonna make me cry

Wukong with his

overdramatic sarcasm

and Macaque just seeming kinda tired

and

hECK LEAVE IT A LTTEL BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT

HECKING

PEACH POPSICLE

NOT THE SAME BUT

SO FMAILAR

THAT CAN BE A TOMORROW PORBLEM

MACAQUE DOESNT’ QUITE SMILE BUT

WOW HE SURE DOES PLOP HIMSELF DOWN RIGHT NEXT TO WUKONG

MAN

MK IS SO SUNBURNED

HE IS SO SUNBURNED

RIP MY DUDE

RED SON SOAKED AND THERE’S A FISH IN HIS HAT

I’M SO SAD WE DIDN’T GET TO HEAR HIS VOICE BUT I LOVE THAT THEY UNCLED HIM HAVING FUN WITH THE DUO THEY ARE EVERYHTIGN TO ME

OKAY YES, OTHER SHOE, HIT ME WITH IT

OKAY WHO THESE GUYS

WHO’S THE PARTY

WHATCHA DOIN

K

KAY IS THAT IT??

REALLY THAT’S ALL YOU GIVE US??

FINEEEEE FINE OKAY

I’M FINE

.

all in all i actually really enjoyed that special like  A LOT

give me like two days and i’ll process what i saw in pt 3 and

ehre and

there

and everywhere

actually i kinda enjoy how vague it is 10/10 the montage of them on the beach hanging is so nice Mk applying sunscreen is so cute he’s so good he’s so fast I love how wukong’s Shifu energy of just like cause mk is monkey like him so its “yeah that’s how we roll” n stuff

Macaque’s style is killing me

Wukong’s is just dad

Macaque’s is just

I don’t even know how to categorize it and i’m okay with that

WELL

JADE EMPERORS DEAD

AZURE’S DEAD

PENG STILL OUT THERE

YELLOW TUSK IS ARRESTED

MK IS MONKEY

MACAQUE IS VIBIN WITH THE CREW

WUKONG IS BETTER AT COMMUNCIATING

I’M CURIOUS IF THEY EVEN HAVE HIM HAVE THE SAME POWER LEVEL AS MK

OKAY

UH

THAT WAS ALL A BLUR

I NEED TO WATCH IT SIX MORE TIMES HAVE A GOOD ONE

KNOX OUT

[roetrolls]

veylin do you think mallum was stylin in that wetsuit top and blazer

"Yes! I recall thinking he looked quite handsome when we met."

[aceofspadegrass]

Oops I did it again.

Time for more shades and flowers.

[yuurivoiceincorporated]

Ooh! Can I get a comfort thing where Al, Seth and Finn take a hot bubble bath with listener? No nsfw. Just, I like the idea of the boys being spoiled and spoiling Listener. Cuddling or goofing around in the bath… rubbing nice skin lotion on each other’s backs… massages… face masks… just everybody getting to decompress, including listener!

Masquerade of the Bathroom

-Alphonse x reader, Seth x reader, Finn x reader (separate)

-gender neutral reader

Alphonse:

“Alright, boo. I’ve got the bath ready. You gon’ come in or not?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m coming just give me a bit.”

You hopped into the warm, calming bath. The bubbles tickled your skin gently as you sat in your rightful place—Alphonse’s lap.

“Yeah, come here, Boo…” He put his arms around you.

You giggled as you took some of the bubbles and placed it on Alphonse’s head.

“Boo? What’re you doin��?”

You put more bubbles into his hair, while styling it as well.

“It’s like a…uh…” you squinted. “A hat?”

He chuckled and playfully rolled his eyes at you. “A hat? Really?”

“Ugh, I don’t know what to call it…”

Alphonse pulled out some small packs. “I got face masks. I have quite a few, so I thought you could pick.”

“But, Al!” You whined. “There’s too many options…!”

“Okay, okay, fine. You can pick with your eyes closed.”

You closed your eyes and picked a random mask from Alphonse’s hand.

You opened your eyes. It was a cherry blossom mask.

“Huh, interesting…” you opened the package. “Well, it looks quite nice, actually. And smells really good, too.”

“Yeah, these masks are hella cheap, but they work quite well considering their price. Here, I’ll put it on you.”

He brushed some hair out of your face. “You’ve got such pretty hair, but it’s covering your pretty face!”

You giggled. “I can’t help it, it just covers it up.”

Alphonse gently took the mask from your hands and placed it on your face. It felt colder and colder as he pressed it more onto your face.

“There. You look pretty good with it on.” He snapped a photo of you.

“Al!”

“What? You’re so damn cute, I want to savor the moment. Not my fault, sounds like a you problem.”

You scoffed jokingly. “Can I at least put a mask on YOUR face?”

“Sure, sure.”

He handed you a mask.

You brushed some hair out of his face, mocking Alphonse, “You’ve got such pretty hair, but it’s covering your pretty face!”

Alphonse giggled and threw some bubbles onto you. “You’re tryna imitate me? Wow, real cold, Boo.”

You smiled. “Almost done…”

You evened out his mask on his face. “There.”

“Alright, alright,” Alphonse grinned his cocky grin. “Do I look stylin’ or what?”

You titled your head sideways, and squinted. “Eh, maybe like a… I don’t know, a 6 out of 10 at best.”

“Wha—?! A 6? With THIS face? Absolutely not.”

You laughed, “I’m just kidding. Now, hold still so I can get a photo of you…!

Bubble Trouble

Seth:

“Sugar, are you sure about this?”

“Yes, I know what I’m doing…”

You applied more bubbles to Seth’s face and hair, and put as many bubbles as you could, trying to make his hair stand up.

“Now, what are you doing that’s making you giggle so much, Sugar?”

You handed him a small mirror.

He took one glance and immediately gave it back to you.

“If you show this to Al, I swear….”

You snapped a picture on your phone and sent it to Al.

“Too late.”

“Ugh…” he groaned.

“Hey! Don’t act like you don’t like it! I heard a few giggles and saw a few smiles here and there. You weren’t slick.”

“Haha, I guess not. But, since you did THAT to me, I’ll have to do something to you, too.”

He scooped up bubbles and applied them to your face, making a beard.

“There. You know, you could get a gig as a mall Santa. I wonder how well they pay…”

You looked at yourself in the mirror and lip-bited at Seth.

“Don’t ever do that again.” He shook his head, like a disappointed father.

“Oh, please, you know you like it.”

“Of course. I love it.” He ran his fingers through your wet, soapy hair. “I love you.”

Seth pulled you closer into his chest. You accepted the gesture and buried your face into the crook of his neck.

You mumbled, “I love you, too…”

Titanic

Finn:

“Orchid! I’ve got the bath set up. You want to come in?”

“…”

“Orchid?”

“Yes, I’m already in.”

He turned around to face you. “Oh! Wow, you are fast.”

“No, I think you’re just a *little* slow.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that. I put some rose petals in and lit some candles, for optimal relaxation, of course.”

“I see that! Very nice. I think you outdid yourself, Finneas. Are you going to come in?”

“Yes, yes. I’m coming.”

He sat down in the bath with you. “Come here, I want you to sit on my lap, please.”

You did as he said, gently resting your head against his chest.

Both of you let out a sign of satisfaction.

“Seems like we both needed this, huh, Finn?”

“Indeed we did. I’m just glad we get to spend some time together at all. We’ve both been pretty busy.”

“True, yeah…”

You held one of the rose petals in your hand.

“This kind of looks like a boat, doesn’t it, Finn?”

“A boat, maybe? But what would it hold? It’s so tiny.”

“Um…” you placed another rose petal on the other rose petal. “Another boat?”

“But, why would they hold a boat in another one?”

“I don’t know. You were the one who put the rose petals in the bath.”

“That’s true, yeah. But I had no intention of making the petals into boats. That’s all you, Orchid.”

“Hmm… ooh!” A bright idea flashed through your mind. “We could recreate the titanic using these!”

“The titanic? Go on…”

You cleared your throat, getting ready to put on your best performance.

“Jack, I’ll never let you go!”

“…”

“Jack…?! Jack?!”

You plunged one of the rose petals into the water.

You made fake drowning noises. “Ahh! Rose, I’m dying…er… drowning, or whatever…!”

“Um, I don’t think that’s how it goes.”

“Right, but that’s how it should go.”

Finn smiled and chuckled softly.

“You’re always full of surprises, aren’t you?”

He placed one of his hands on your head and gave you gentle, soft headpats.

“That’s what I love about you, though. You’re so amazing and funny… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

[halloweensuittruffles]

I'm surprised no one has asked yet, so Imma do it; MarvusxMe ( ;D ) and hair brushing! Take that and run with it uvu

EHEHEHEHE HIIIIII SHADOWWWW💚💚💚💚 YES YES YES MY SIMPING HEART WILL WRITE

💜🎪Marvus x Reader 🎪💜[Hair stylin!!~]

You were moving your hair about after you just got out of the shower. As a normal thing after you get out of the shower your hair is drenched and drippy. You were all dressed and ready to go into the world, the only thing was your hair.

As you grabbed your [insert you favorite color] hairbrush an idea popped into your head. Keeping the brush in your hand, you walked out of your hive block to the hallway. Marvus had a rather big hive but he was a big guy so it shouldn’t be too hard to find him.

You found him inside his own hiveblock tapping on his palmhusk. The clown’s hair was up in a long ponytail being held up by a purple scrunchie, and he was in one of his tank top that surprisingly wasn’t completely clawed at the end. But you knew the claw marks were intentional. Marvus looked up to see you in his door frame, he grinned at you. Marvus’ smile was extremely contagious, so you found yourself returning the smile on your lips

“hows mah favorite matespirt doin eh?” He asked to which you responded

“Can’t complain! Just got outta the shower-“

“i can see, yer gettin water on the rug baby” the clown snorted “did ya lose yer towel or smth?”

“Ah no! Nononono its just my hair um,” you held your brush in front of you with two hands

“I was wondering if, you could do my hair for me?? Like brush it! Or style it or- like anything you want!”

The clown’s smile at you only grew sweeter, it was gonna give you cavities at this point. Marvus simply pat the spot in front of him on his bed gesturing for you to come sit.

Excitedly you jumped up onto the blankets (you HAD to jump- it was like the height of a dinosaur or something-)

You sat crisscross in front of Marvus as you handed him your brush. The Tv was on above the both of you so it gave you something to look at. Marvus had gently token a lock of your hair under his claws and had started moving your hairbrush through your hair. Mostly he used his claws though which as basically like a hairbrush on his hands.

As he was brushing halfway through Marvus leaned his head over to your head was under his chin. You didn’t realize he was there till you heard a small chuckle from above you. Color quickly rushed to your cheeks as you looked up. Your noses were barely touching.

“wh- Whatcha doinggg?” You asked

“jus admirin”

You huffed lightly pushing your nose against his earning another chuckle from the clown.

Later on he had finished your hair and braided for you! He put a bunch of different fake flowers in it too. You looked adorable!!

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 s01e22: Chrysalis

Table of Contents

I can't believe we're to the season finale already - and also am so impressed with this twenty-three episode season! It's been incredibly tightly written so far.

Londo and G’Kar fighting is comfortingly amusing now.

G’Kar’s shimmery green armor is gorgeous.

Yelling the dying, stabbed man’s name is absolutely the way to keep him alive and giving you info for a few extra seconds, Garibaldi. RIP Petrov.

I am such a fan of these transparent surgical masks. I would like for them to use it for scrubs, too.

A surprise…? He looks so happy I half expected him to say he’s pregnant. But it’s clearly going to be a proposal.

“Look. Do you want to get married, or don’t you?”

AHAHAHA. I had to hold my stitches. That’s fucking perfect, Sinclair, you dork.

Poor Londo. Probably pissed off all the gods by waving his tentacles around. That certainly offended me.

EW NO IT’S FAE EVIL GUY. Morden. Ugh, no.

Delenn did not look particularly happy to get a yes response from Kosh. Granted, it would be rather unnerving to get anything other than an unfathomable soliloquy out of Kosh.

Being an ambassador is pretty high position. A lot of stress. Do you really want more responsibility, ie stress, to interfere with all the boozing and womanizing, Ambassador? Don’t make deals with Morden. Bad news is written ALLLLLL OVER THIS GUY.

Kosh’s shoulder pad wings are so extra.

Delenn, did you promise to grow hair?! In exchange for looking at Kosh?!

If the situation is too big for the head of station security, maybe don’t murder station denizens? That’s guaranteed to get some officials involved.

Vir and I are on the same page. Although he’s totally out of the loop. Londo is smart. He’s got to be able to see how shady this is.

G’Kar’s robe is so slutty. Love the space slut a la Picard look.

IVANOVA. Oh she looks so cute. I wish Talia was here to see her stylin’ curly hair and that dress is just gorgeous.

Hmmm Devereaux could be special forces, or he could have stolen a special forces weapon.

SHIT Morden et al are bad, bad news. Do cloaking devices exist in B5? It seems massively overpowered for the tech we’ve seen so far. Even Vorlon tech. On par with DraalPlanet, for destructiveness.

Something is definitely going to happen to those boxes. And immediately! Inside man!

Delenn!!! And the mystery 24 hours!!! There is a lot going on. Poor Sinclair has had to do some masterful time management this season so far but this might take it to a whole new level. I will be delighted if his pedantry saves the day again.

RIP every single Narn at the outpost. Ten thousand! Very OP. Who the hell and what the hell kind of firepower? I’m surprised that G’Kar’s list of who could have done it include both the Minbari and humans. Perhaps they’re more of a real power than I’d realized.

You can do it, Garibaldi. Pass out on the party floor! What is the party for? I missed that, if it was mentioned.

Oh sheeeeeeeeet, they did not manage to prevent the presidential assassination. Chaos must be incoming. Inside Job Man is still around and fucking shit up and smearing his smirk around.

They are very into lipliner on B5.

Having A Bad Day Narn/Human solidarity:

I’m honestly surprised and impressed that Londo cares that 10,000 Narns were killed. There’s more decency in him for Narnuan lives than I’d thought.

Inside Guy doin Inside Murders.

What doin, Kosh?

There is SO much going on here.

A real, actual, physical, chrysalis?!

There is so much going on that I absolutely cannot predict at all. It’s a trip.

“He is an annoying man, but I would miss him if he…”

Londo Mollari, that was very nearly a genuine sentiment of affection!

I hate Inside Guy nearly as much as Morden at the moment.

Speak of the devil. Floating, invisible, squeaky aliens plus Morden. Only good things can come of this, I’m sure.

AND IT’S A CLIFFHANGER?! *screams and throws things*

y’all I had an extremely busy day for being this recently post-op and am actually having trouble tracking visually. Am going to have to watch the next one tomorrow.

But it will be tomorrow: pinky promise.

[nova-siims]

Who’s your top 5 2D characters you simp over?

yessir let's get into it <3

coming in at #1 while the rest are in no particular order...

NANAMI KENTO 🥵

of course he's number one. daddy nanami is always number one. this man has me by the THROAT, always.

he doesn't put in overtime for anything except moi.🤠

ISAAC LAFOREZE 😮‍💨

i simply... cannot put into words... how much i simp... for this sexy, evil (turned good?), bald man. he deserves nothing but my love and care. isaac the forgemaster... mm, mm, mm, too fine for his own good. plus, i’d do anything to see him always smile. it makes him look so pure and at peace 🥺

ALUCARD TEPES 🧛🏻

my batty baby. this is one sad man. entire life: traumatic. it's one thing after another with this guy. i just wanna take care of him, show him love and affection. i'd let him turn me if he asked, so we could be together forever. when dropped from the top of his castle to play with the kids and said "boo." that solidified it for me.

MICHIKO MALANDRO 🥶

yes yes, the girl we see in all the profile pics, the slowed and reverbs, and everywhere else. i love this little law-breaking, will send you on an express train to hell, and stylin' woman. like, i would do anything for her???

CARMILLA OF STYRIA 🧛🏻‍♀️

run... me... over... please? no seriously, she could pummel me like she did hector, and i would pathetically say "t-thank you... more?" cause when she goes into feral mode, i don't know how to behave.

thank you for the ask bb ❤️ i love talking about my faves 🤩

[snake-rot]

(EXCLAIMING)

(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTING)

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHS)

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

Sweet home Alabama

(GRUNTING)

Lord, I'm coming home to you

(GRUNTS) Justin!

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Yeah

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!

(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.

(GASPS)

Justin!

I've got him! I've got him!

(JUSTIN GRUNTS)

(AIR ESCAPING)

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling

cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the

kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.

Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was

awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:

There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay

doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,

poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…

IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?

[toadstoolillustrations]

alright ill bite what colour ARE phoenixes eyes

oh and 25 which chara has the worst fashion taste

Sooooo glad you asked. Uhh context for you pheonix's eyes in-game were at first like. Pixelated idk they just looked black to me, maybe kinda brown. When they put the trilogy on switch the hd sprites are like greyish eyes and aa4 pheen has dark grey ones.

Then the official art oh god uhh they kept going between lovely brown in a few, the grey and then around dual destinies and spirit of justice (idk might have been before that too but that's when i notice it most) the like official pheonix art for soj was blue eyes aghhhhh. The anime gives him grey eyes n blue in phoenix wright vs professor layton. Basically no one fuvking knows.

[ID: three images of phoenix wright, first as a rookie lawyer with grey-brown eyes, second in his disbarment era hoodie with dark grey eyes and thirdly as a veteran attorney with blue eyes./end ID]

Popular fan versions give him grey and blue or brown and blue heterochromia (insert some joke abt pheen not at all being hetro) which is neat! But I do not. Like giving him blue eyes at all it feels eh ppl giving him the lighter options :/ I am right about everything however and I think he has one very dark black/brown eye and one lighter brown one :-) brown is such a pretty eye colour and he's my fave so uh. Pov u are phoenix wright woe brown eye heterochromia be upon ye

OH YEAH FOR 25 UHHHH APOLLO HES MY LITTLE GUY BUT ALSO DEAR GOD

[ID: two official art pieces of apollo justice with his normal attorney outfit and then his "Stylin' Street Clothes" DLC costume. He wears a red jacket over a white t-shirt with jeans and a backpack on his back./end ID]

There are. So many buttons polly pls i want to study that jacket. Also the hair I don't need to say anything

[singer-smiles-101]

It’s tiiiiiiiiime

(EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS ONE’S ONE OF MY FAVES EVER-)

Drumroll pLEASEEEE

(🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁)

LOOK AT MY STYLIN BOI

(The top is supposed to be a sort of corset lol)

The earring (ye he only wears one) and necktie are related to hcs of mine :)

[artystaroc]

Yooo Teru is looking cool with Izuru's hair tho??? I mean, the whole situation is bad, but he's looking so stylish, oh my god. And I do wonder how my boy Hajime got involved with the killing game if he didn't become Izuru. That's so intriguing, I'm dying to know more! Your AUs are a gift that keep on giving :D

Aww thanks! And yes, Teruteru do be stylin'.

For how Hajime got involved, I'm thinking he ended up getting, kind of, adopted by class 77 lol. It started with Chiaki befriending him and pulling him into the group and the others just accepted him and welcomed him. And everyone else noticed, like he was around the class so much that he's just allowed to come and go over to the Main Course as he pleases. (I've just realized that could probably be cause for a lot of problems for him in the Reserve Course but we ain't talking about that right now haha.) When Junko comes around Hajime is just naturally indoctrinated into the Remnants as a result of being around them so yeah. He getting yeeted into the simulation too. Unlucky him :)