#but yeah. good luck in my car lmaoo

[azzimations]

I'm gonna be so fucking insufferable once I get my own car bc it's gonna be hyperfixation mode 24/7. Solely Chonny Jash music in my car. Friend want a ride? Better hope they can stand it. Driving my brother to practice? He's gonna know every word by the end of the season. Cuz it's never getting turned off. I'll drive into school with fine I'm fine blasting with NO remorse for my ears.

[kiss4noo]

dating roulette – n.rk . ˚ ౨ৎ ⊹

꒰ 🤍 ꒱ CH. 3 – FIRST DATE! KINDA NERVY 😍

genre. smau (social media au), comedy, fluff, angst, romance, best friends to lovers. .˚⊹ pairing. non-idol,,best friend riki x fem reader. ໒꒱ warning(s). profanity, kys/kms jokes, poor attempt at humor. <//3

synopsis .ᐟ you have horrendous luck with men… and your best friend knows this. so, when you ask him to set you up with a guy, he immediately agrees– except, he secretly likes you. in attempts to do what you’ve asked of him, he sets you up with his friends, sabotaging every date you go on: until you finally agree to go out with him.

status. ongoing! updates. every 2 to 3 days. (attempting) start. 11.04.24

꒰ 💌 ꒱ taglist. open! comment / send an ask to be added!

@nshmuras @wonsdoll @pshbites @greentulip @roarr-ki @chiaki-nanami-aesthetic @sol3chu @rikidaze @lelestarmy @17ericas @who-tf-soddhi @yangjungwonnie (bold cannot be tagged)

꒰ 💬 ꒱ mi note. so liek. i be making my own rules and my schedule is not working for this upload goal... hahaha. ANYWAY, this chap was so awk to write LMAOO. hope u cringe like i did.

if you enjoyed this fic, please like and reblog! it's always appreciated :)

enjoy, my lovely readers. xoxo, mi. ‹𝟹

CH. 3 – first date! kinda nervy 😍 . . . masterlist / previous / next !

! DON'T FORGET, WRITTEN PART BELOW THE FIRST 3 SCREENSHOTS !

it wasn’t long before riki had arrived at your apartment to escort you to the location you’d be meeting the mystery guy at– your best friend patiently sat in his car as you stepped out of the building.

opening the passenger side’s door, you settle into the seat with ease, shutting the door once comfortable. buckling your seatbelt and ensuring all of your necessities were in your purse, you glance at him with a cheeky grin.

“hi, keeks.” you greet in a cheerful tone, excited to finally head out to your date.

“hi, bubba.” he answers in his usual rasp, a small smile tugging his lips upward as he pulls out of his temporary parking space.

he knew full well where he was driving, considering the fact that you loved frozen yogurt, practically purchasing it once a week.

“you excited?” he questions with a quick glance in your direction, his eyebrow raised as he returns his focus to the road.

“ ‘course i am!” you admit with a nod and soft squeal, prepared as ever.

the boy simply hummed in response, the light conversation shifting to comfortable silence– at least for you. riki, on the other hand, was currently experiencing a whirlwind of emotions behind his composed exterior.

the drive was only seven minutes, your best friend parking in front of the frozen yogurt place that held your heart.

“alright, angel. have a good time, be safe, and call me if you need me.” he shifts his torso to face your direction, his words stern as he squints his eyes at you.

laughing softly at the boy’s tone, you mutter a simple “i will, ki,” and place a kiss to his cheek before opening the car door to step out.

“bye, ducky.” you mutter, flashing him a smile before heading toward the entrance to meet taesan.

“hi! you must be taesan.” your voice interrupts the male’s bubble of solitude, causing him to glance up– eyes widening at your appearance. you were breathtaking, that’s for sure.

“hey! yeah– yeah, that’s me.” he responds with a shake in his voice, nervous as ever for how this date would play out considering you seemed to be so genuine and sweet. at the moment, he wanted to curse riki for his bribe.

standing from his seat, he reached to offer you a handshake in greeting, your hand delicate against his.

“shall we?” you playfully ask, extending your hand toward the station where the cup sizes were placed.

“of course.” he replies, flashing a sweet smile as he places his hand upon your shoulder, guiding you forward with gentle force.

“so, what’re your hobbies?” you ask once you’d gotten the cups for your yogurt, filling yours with the chocolate and vanilla swirl– taesan settling on strawberry.

“ah… my hobbies? well, it’s weird, but i’m into making mud pies.” the boy responds with a grit of his teeth, the embarrassment of his and riki’s deal finally sinking onto his shoulders.

with a laugh and gentle snort, your reaction wasn’t quite as humiliating as he’d expected. “mud pies, huh? maybe it’s a little outdated, but i did the same as a kid.” you try to extend your understanding, finding his answer amusing but nonetheless, cute?

“at least we can somewhat bond over that, yeah?” he playfully asks, raising a brow as his lips quirk into a side smile.

once you two had completed your cups of yogurt with a choice of toppings, taesan insisted on paying for yours, wanting to be a gentleman in the moments he could. after all, he may have to embarrass himself, but he’d still try to be a decent date.

returning to the empty table, you sat across from him– hoping to ask more questions and get to know him before your date came to an end.

“since we’re at froyo… one of my favorite foods– what’s your favorite food?” you ask with a playful glint in your eye, hoping that his previous, odd answer wouldn’t affect the future ones.

coughing slightly, he aggressively patted his chest, ceasing shortly after. “um.. right, my favorite food.” he begins, his mortification masked by his composed facial expressions. “boiled eggs,” taesan blurts, clearing his throat afterward. 

of course, the eggs seemed understandable from your perspective, enjoying boiled eggs on occasion. “ah, i like those too!” you agree with a cheeky grin, tilting your head.

“and… burnt toast.” the boy adds, causing your expression to shift into one of silent confusion– eyes blinking and lips pressed into a thin line, shame building in his chest.

“oh. um, well, we all have our preferences!” you respond sweetly, shoving another spoonful of yogurt into your mouth, disappointment bubbling in your chest.

what made up for the strange answers taesan had to your questions was the frozen yogurt. if the company was… unique, at least you had a comforting cup of your favorite yogurt flavors and toppings.

you’d both finished eating, the air full of awkward tension, to which you suggested heading outside.

“hey, y/n?” taesan questions with hesitation, hands in his pockets as you stood to the side of the entrance.

“yeah?” you ask, peering up at him with your eyes full of curiosity and lingering hope that the date could shift.

“i… you have to know.” he begins, releasing a sigh in mental preparation of his next words. “i’m totally breedable. and– i worship the ground you walk on. believe me.” he inwardly cringes, that stupid script engraved in his mind. all for thirty bucks.

your lips parted, unable to form a response, eyes blinking rapidly. swallowing the lump in your throat, you flash an awkward, half smile. “um, have a good night, taesan. it was… nice to meet you.” you bid the boy farewell, simply earning a “bye, you too, y/n,” from his end.

that has got to be the worst date you’ve ever been on.

[ma3mae]

Hello!! I hope you are doing well, wanted to say I love your work !!

Can I request how the BSD boys (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa etc) would react to gf!fem!reader saying “I am just a hole” after they did something attractive? Something fun and suggestive ehehe~

No brain, just horny!

Summary: No one cared about you being down bad for you bfs since everything's mutual, right? (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa)

Genre: fluff, maybe crack, def suggestive themes, maybe a tiny tiny bit of smut. Who knows 💀

Warnings: yall gonna be horny after this 🤓

A/N: was kinda difficult to think of fitting scenarios but i had fun writing this!! Also thank you for loving my work, anonnnn 💕💕💕💕

Part 2

Dazai Osamu

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAT 💀💀💀💀

HES HORNY 24/7, DONT EXPECT HIM TO HOLD BACK LMAOO 💀💀😭😭

okay okay so lets say yall are at the ADA office

hes done with annoying the shit ouf of kuni and now hes just sitting on the couch, literally bored out of his mind

Kuni tells u to tell "that dumbass idiot of a boyfriend🤩" to finally get back to work so u go up to him

u know that scene where he leans his head back onto the grave and slowly tilts it back down and opens his eyes while having that soft smile on his face? oda's only purpose was him dying so we'd get that scene, crying fr 😭😭😭

Yeah hes doing exactly THAT as he notices your presence infront of him, flashing you a smile and only for it to spread even further as he notices your dazed face 💀

"Oh, bella? Too lovestruck to talk to me, I see. Can't help it that I'm just so hands-"

"I'm nothing but a hole for you"

I DONT KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD EVEN SAY THAT 😭😭 THATS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO SAY AND SO DUMB BUT NO ONE CARES 🥲🥲🥲

AND HIS HORNY ASS DOESNT GIVE TWO SHITS EITHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

his eyes are fking bulging as he hears you say that infront of him

ACTUALLY shocked that you had the guts to legit say that outloud and luckily no one rly heard that except him he wouldnt mind if the whole ass office wouldve heard that, we KNOW 💀

you manage to get a good laugh out of him before he just shoots you that god awful handsome smirk before he suddenly stands up

Towering over you, he leans in and whispers "Never thought you'd be so dirty to say stuff like that during working hours. Not that I'm complaining! I'm glad to have such a strong effect on you, bella~" got me blushing fr😳😳😳

Its too late to realise what you've just said. Your fate has been sealed.

OFF TO HORNY JAIL YALL GO 💀💀🗣️

no jk but nah nah he wont stop there

Youve awakened the fking horny beast in him and how could he refuse his love offering herself so blatantly while your coworkers were literally in the same room?? 🤩😋

He just takes your hand as he proceeds to leave the office

Kuni just yells "Oi, where the hell do you think you're going?! Only told you to tell him to work! Not join his stupid shenanigans!! 😡😡"

YOU KNOW that ur bf just turns around and shoots him that annoying ass smirk, only to say

"But Kunikida, we are off to work actually! Nothing you'd be able to do anyway. Tell me when you've found something interesting in all that paper work of yours! Can tell you that our job will definitely be more fun than that~ 😁😁"

You can only give poor kuni a sheepish smile as atsushi just deadpans at the both of you, muttering a "good luck 😐" towards you as your bf just drags you to his car because your job's gonna be too loud to do at the ada and going home wont be an option since dazai's not patient in that sense 💀💀💀

Already sending prayers to you for having to go back to "work" while being sore af and dazai looking like he got out of a 10 day wellness vacation 😭🥲🥲

dazai's actually gonna spare our poor kuni by kinda doing some paper work but our man will be forever traumatised bc hes not oblivious 🗣️

Especially after seeing your neck littered with hickeys 😭😭 u cant hide them, youve got a damn mosquito as a bf 💀

kuni just tosses a bottle of water your way without looking at u bc he thinks its not modest to shamelessly look at them 😤 I LOVE U KUNI

"thanks, i guess" is all you'll hear from him bc at the end, you DID get dazai to work but at what cost 😭

Kunikida Doppo

Flabbergasted. Shocked. Disappointed. Shamefully not too hard to turn on. 💀

His first reaction is gonna be like u just told ur mom u forgot to do the laundry 😭

DEF gonna scold your ass off for saying such things in such an inappropiate setting

its not your fault hes being so hot during work 😤😤😤😤

Tell him off for being so handsome!! 🤩

Wont stop his scolding but u cant take him serious when hes fumbling over his words

Still manages to thank you for ur compliment even though its embarassing af 😭 no way would he refuse such kind words from his love 😋

So anyway it could go two ways with him

The first would be if yall wouldnt be alone at the ADA

You go up to him to ask him about a report you need help with

Ive never seen kuni tie his hair up but... imagine catching him doing that...

With the hair tie in his mouth as he pulls his hair back and like...

It makes u think of the times you'd yank it back during yk what 🤭

So he notices you gape at him and is all like "🤨 are you alright?"

Cue to you just uttering "Damn, kuni. You only gotta ask. Am just a hole for you anyway" out of nowhere

LMAO you can just hear dazai cackling from the couch as your bf just looks at you like 😳 with his mouth agape and everything

Dazai just walks up to you to pat your shoulder

"Kunikida, you've got quite the daring girlfriend!" "SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH UP"

kuni just quickly ties his hair back and BROO he nearly feels so violated and exposed 😭😭😭😭

Why would u do this to him AT WORK 😭

Ngl u and dazai prob team up to annoy him to death like hes just so fun to TEASE 😤

Anyway he just tells you to get back to work and when u tell him you need some help, he begrudgingly does it bc its important but you can still his hands shake a bit and his face is red as he tries to give you advice on ur work skskksks 💀

Be ready to get scolded for HOURS when yall are on ur way home 🤓

But dw u know how to shut his beautiful mouth up 🤭😋

But if you do the whole thing while yall are alone at work bc kuni decided to stay a bit longer then THATS a different story

Lets say he does the same thing again as above ^ and u say the same thing

He'll def turn a bit red and tell you that you cant say stuff like that during work!

"But kuni, we're alone and no ones gonna come back anyway. It's nearly 8pm after all."

The sun's setting and the only light that softly illuminates the room and it just steals ur fking breath bc 😭 hes so gorgeous with his hair open 😭😭😭

But u can still see his gaze on u, making ur knees weak bc BROO

horny jail for kuni too????? 💀💀💀

jk but he'll clear his throat and just say "a work place is still a work place so i cant let this inappropiate behavior just go like that..."

You're like standing infront of him and he grabs you by your waist, softly kneading it as he tells u to sit on his lap 😭

"Will teach that mouth of yours how to behave. Maybe after this you'll be a bit more tame. Think that idiot has been a bad influence on you like he has with everyone but don't worry. I'll be sure to teach you everything again."

I'll let you imagine the rest here 🤭🤭

Edogawa Ranpo

man just wants to eat his candy in peace, get ur horny ass away from him 🤨🤨🤨🤨

u thought dazai's a whole bitch???? Nah nah this is a MAN CHILD right here

This man wont give u what u want, nah he'll let u suffer alone LOL 💀💀

if this happens at work then 🤷 honestly depends on what mood he is i think

its a hot day in yokohama and the air conditioning is not rly helping yall

so u kinda wanna go grab some ice cream during ur break and u dont need to think twice about asking ur bf to go with u

fr he'll be SO annoying if u dont take him with u 💀 but dw he obviously knows why u r approaching him rn 🤩

but he takes a while to catch on why u just stopped and looked like a fish rn like a combo of this :0 and 😳

he just goes "🤨"

"Damn, the bathroom's close. 'am just a hole for you anyway so let's go" u legit go 😨 after realising what u just said

How no one hears that, idk but this hoe DEF heard u well

U r even more scared bc he just sits there and doesnt react but oops

only needs some sec before he opens his eyes and smirks at u 🤭

"Eh~ You've got guts, Y/N. Saying naughty stuff like that during work hours. Not that I mind though. Just shows how smitten you are by the World's Greatest Detective~"

"N-"

He just waves a finger at u like you're a lil kid getting scolded rn 💀

"Ah ah ah, don't try to refute that fact. Can't blame you for your reaction after all. It's still funny to me that all it took was me losening my tie, gliding a hand through my hair and open up a button of my shirt. ~ "

He just gets up and gives you a peck on your cheek before walking ahead

"I still want that ice ream though! If it's good then I'll give tending to your needs a thought!" 💀 THIS BITCH

but dw he'll make sure to show u how smitten he is after that bc ur mouth just tastes better after some sweet ice cream, right 🤓??

but u know whats the best combo with saying that sentence?

a jealous ranpo 🤩

like ok quick scenario

lets move this outside of work, ok?

So yall are walking around and some random dude decides to hit on u and hello 🤨cant he see that u r legit holding hands with the world's greatest detective??

u kindly tell the man to fuck off but nah hes not letting u chill

wraps protectively his arm around ur waist, clearly showing him that YOU. ARE. TAKEN.

"with that scrawny lookin dude???" bro hes got a death sentence 💀

time for ur bf to show him his skills 🤭 which means threatening him to expose everything about him

immediately tells him where he lives, what he does for a living, where he likes to shop, where his parents live. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G

he just smirks and puffs his chest slightly out as that dude just fking runs off bc id be terrified too 😨

He deserves it tho ✋

"What a fool! Thinking he could challenge ME?! The greatest detective to ever live! See how terrified he was!" hes fking cackling before stopping as he sees ur face

brothers and sisters, we are LOVESTRUCK

and that hoe cann see that right away 💀

"Thank you..." like should we say how hot that was???? maybe 😳😳???

"And?" AH obviously he got us 😭

but we too embarassed to say smth but NICE, theres a nearby alley so u know where hes dragging us 🤩

Pressed up against the wall and hes just centimeters away from u as he asks again

"That wasn't everything you wanted to say, right~? Of course you find me" hot" but just wanna hear it from you, love."

"FUCK, am just a hole for u" 💀😳

goes wide eyed for a sec before chuckling and saying "Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear but I'll let it count!"

His eyes travel down your neck before finally saying "Hm, I've got an idea in how to make everyone know that you're taken. I deserve a little treat after having saved you, no?" 🤭🤭🤭 got me blushing fr

Anyway problem solved, no one made moves onto u after that and it might turn into a habit before yall go out for the next times 🗣️

But no one's complaining hihi 🤭🤭😳

Fukuzawa Yukichi

oh god where do i even begin 💀

i gotta hold myself back from getting off topic when it comes to HIM 😭

honestly this man has seen and experienced so many things, u gotta do a lot to catch THIS man off guard 💀💀

bro he had to deal with mori's ass in his 20's for too long and STILL deals with it till this day 😐😐😐😐😐

not to mention the agency is like his fking orphanage at this point 😐

Already enough that his first child is still a child with his thirty years of living on this damn planet 🤓

lets say u work at the ADA as well and now yall r holding a meeting to go over some details for a random mission

Idk if its just me but... the way he sits there and is leading that whole shit, telling em what to do and how they could handle it the best way, while encouraging everyone to work hard n stuff... idk....

Its just so HOT 😳😳😳🤭

like hes so charismatic, fuck dazai, yall cant compare ANYONE to this man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no wonder everyone follows him, id lick his shoes too 😭😭 HORNY JAIL FOR ME?????

anyway he dismisses everyone and the both of you are the last ones to be in the room bc u r just sitting at the table and staring at him like 😳

Dw my girl, hes been noticing the way you've been looking at him the whole time

"Is everything alright, my love? You've been staring at me for quite a while now."

"N-No its nothing 😳"

nah no need to hold back bc we know our knees r gonna buckle the second he takes ur hand

AND HE DOES 🤩🤩

his eyes slightly crinkle at the end as you can see amusement dance in them

"I know that look when something's on your mind. I'll respect your decision to not tell me but I'd like to know what it is."

honestly your red face is already proof enough whats on ur mind but how can u hide it when hes just looking at you with such an intense gaze UGH I LOVE THIS MAAAAAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"W-Well the way you just handle everything with ease even though its a lot of pressure and i dont know...it's just really admirable but also hot when you tell them what to do. wouldnt mind you doing that in the bedroom too, you know. id be a hole for u anytime like this... "

u tryna mumble that shit out of embarassement but he clearly heard you 💀

And he does go wide eyed out of surprise because DAMN thats still pretty straightforward and was kinda the last thing he'd thought you'd say but honestly... he doesnt mind it 💀

in facr hes liking it a bit too much for himself 💀💀 but who is he to complain? Especially when his lover is being so honest with him?

" So you want me to be a bit more authoritative in the bedroom? I-It might be a bit awkward for me to do so but if it's something you desire then we'll gladly try it out together. We should be done with the mission around the evening but if not then..."

you feel his hands gently cup your face as he presses his lips against yours before pulling a bit too soon for your liking

"Then I hope this will suffice until then. I'll be sure to thank you for your patience after everything's over."

THE ONLY THIINNGG

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SAY YESSSS 🤩🤩😭😭😭😭😭

IDC IF IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE BC

We WILL wait for him OKAY 💀💀✋✋✋

he just strokes your hair lovingly as you try to hide ur face bc hes just too blinding

anyway as the both of u get ready to leave, yall just hear quick shuffling behind yall bc OOPS

THE DOOR WAS OPEN 💀

THE KIDS DIDNT LEAVE LOL 💀💀 THEY HEARD EVERYTHING

"😳☺️🤭😏" u can choose which ADA member would make which face 💀💀💀

ngl u prob sometimes call them ur children and BRO

ranpo actually annoys u for some candy ngl 💀

u once punched dazai's gut bc yk he'd ask the stupid question like

"if you're our mom, would that make you a milf?"

send him back to the MAFIA trash can he came from 🤩🤩

jk but might write a oneshot about him even tho hes difficult to write 💀

will def do a part 2 of this bc it gives me an excuse to simp for these men 💀

[satoruvt]

for now; forever

pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader

word count → 9015

genre → mostly fluff, angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to… something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry

synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely.

warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire (starts on day 64 and is mentioned throughout the rest of the fic) that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown

a/n → IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i made a fancy banner nd everything <3 i know 9k isn’t a lot to some people but this is probably the longest one shot i’ve ever written LMAOO so i hope it’s paced ok and everything <33 PLEASE let me know what yall thought about this i am insanely proud of it. ok thats it hehe. hope you enjoy!!! see u on the other side!!!!

btw here’s a fun playlist of songs i listened to while writing mixed with some songs i think reflect the fic super well <33

DAY ONE.

So. You’re… out here, now.

Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors doesn’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.

You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend. 

He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.

“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”

The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.

“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”

“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”

Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.

It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left. 

(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)

You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.

The hike takes almost the whole day. 

You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.

The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.

For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.

When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.

“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”

Right. The voice. Radio?

“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”

You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”

There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”

A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”

“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”

You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”

You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”

Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”

“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”

“Yeah!”

You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.

“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”

“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”

This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.

DAY TWO.

The next morning, you dedicate time to getting a little more settled into your home for the next few months. You didn’t bring a lot of decor - you didn’t think you needed any - but even seeing your blanket on the bed and a few books you need to catch up on reading stacked on the desk makes the place feel a little bit more like you. You eventually reach the journal you packed (that Minghao made you pack) and stare at it like it might do something. Like it might tell you to write again, or like it might tell you to leave everything behind. You don’t really know what you want from it.

A sing-songed version of your name comes from your radio and you blink away from the journal, set it down on the desk. “Good morning!” Soonyoung says from the other end, and you feel yourself take a deep breath as you pick up your radio and press down the button so he can hear you.

“Morning, Soonyoung,” you respond, calm compared to his excitement. 

“So… what are your plans for today?”

“Um,” you pause, brows furrowed, looking towards the direction of his tower even though you know he can’t see you. “Looking out for fires?”

“That’s boring,” is Soonyoung’s immediate response, and you laugh a little.

“Kinda my job for a while.”

And listen, you’ve known Soonyoung for less than a full 24 hours, but even before your brain really comprehends what he’s saying you know you’re not going to like it. “Wait, that reminds me,” he says, tone of his voice a little less overexcited puppy. “What did you do before this? Or, like, what’s your career? I mean, you don’t have to answer, I just thought it could be a way for us to get to know each other…”

His voice fades away for the split second you remember a little too much all at once, but somehow your voice still sounds put together when you speak. “Nothing special,” you say. There’s a pause when you don’t elaborate any further, but instead of asking about it, Soonyoung changes the subject.

“Okay!” he says, back to a more playful tone. “Anyways, I asked about your plans ‘cause I kind of need you to do something for me.”

“Already asking favors?” you tease. “We just met, Soonyoung.”

You hear him laugh, loud and hearty, and it’s contagious even through a radio line so you feel your own smile pull at your lips. “One of the other lookouts found some teenagers with fireworks,” he informs you. “I need you to meet him and get the fireworks from him.”

Your feet are already in your shoes, one halfway tied. “You can’t do this?”

Soonyoung’s voice is strangely thoughtful, but you catch a hint of mischief at the end of his sentence. “I would, but Jihoonie said he’d eat me if I tried to see him again and I think he’s serious this time.”

He tells you where the other lookout - Jihoon - should be and gives you a quick lesson on how to properly use your map to get there. You’re not really excited for another hike this early on (you’re still sore from even getting up here) but by the time you meet the halfway mark you’re convinced it’s not that bad. It’s neither long nor challenging, and… well, Soonyoung’s insistent on keeping you company the whole time. 

When you see what looks like a guy at the edge of a now-abandoned camp, you tell Soonyoung you’ll radio him when you’re on your way back to your tower. “Hey,” you call out as you get closer. The man looks up at you, his eyes sharp but not unkind. “Jihoon?”

“Yeah,” he replies. Under his cap you notice that his hair is a gentle silver, almost purple. He’s dressed casually, like you, and you suppose it’s a given since there’s no exact dress code for this job.  “You’re the newbie?”

You didn’t know people knew about you. “I.. I guess,” you say, then tell him your name.

“Cool,” Jihoon says, voice flat like he’s distracted. He picks up the bag next to his feet and hands it to you. “Take these. Thanks.”

He starts to walk away, down a trail opposite the direction you came, but you think of earlier, when Soonyoung asked about your job (or when he didn’t). You call after Jihoon, hesitate, but then opt to make this quick since he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Have you and Soonyoung… known each other for long?”

Jihoon turns around. He shrugs, then nods. “We met in college, a few years ago.”

“What kind of person is he?”

You watch in vague amusement as Jihoon’s nose scrunches up, but the small smile on his face refuses to hide and it makes you giggle. “Really annyoing,” he tells you, then pauses for a second like he’s looking for the right words, “kind of overwhelming sometimes. But he’s good. He’s someone you want around.”

Someone you want around, your brain repeats to you. You nod with a friendly smile as you haphazardly stuff the fireworks in your hiking bag. “Okay. Thank you.”

Jihoon offers an acknowledging nod of his own before continuing on his way back to his tower. You’re about five minutes into your hike back to yours when your radio sounds from your pocket with a now-familiar voice.

“Are you on your way back?” Soonyoung asks. “You forgot to tell me!”

“Sorry, yeah, I am now. I was talkin’ to Jihoon for a second.”

“Really? That’s weird. He rarely talks to anyone, especially strangers. What’d you talk about?”

You can’t help the small smile that lands on your face as you speak. “Stuff to blackmail you with.”

You think you hear Soonyoung’s groan all the way from his tower, and your smile only grows when it turns into a laugh.

DAY FIVE.

The clouds look dark today.

They haven’t covered the sun completely yet, but they’re closing in fast. You hope that it rains, already sick and tired of the disgusting heat, but also. Something else.

Rainy days always used to be the best to write, your brain supplies to you. You brave a glance at the still-unopened journal on the desk, thinking that maybe…

Your radio turning on drags you away from the crack in metaphorical door, coming at the perfect time as if to tell you that you’re not ready yet. You listen to it, grab the radio, murmur a greeting to Soonyoung.

“It’s getting pretty dark out, huh?” He says. He must be looking at the sky, too.

“Yeah,” you hum. “Hopefully the storm isn’t too bad.”

The line goes quiet, but you know that Soonyoung’s still there even if he isn’t saying anything. The knowledge comforts you, just a little.

“Well... got any rainy day stories?”

DAY SEVENTEEN.

“So, Soonyoung,” you call into your radio as you step outside. You’ve taken advantage of the small balcony around the entire cabin, setting up a few chairs you found in the storage unit at the bottom of the tower (just in case someone stops by, you tell yourself) and a small table you weren’t using inside. The nights are hot but still relaxing, and you find yourself sitting outside often, catching up on reading or taking in the stars. 

“I can’t believe you radioed me first,” Soonyoung responds, and you hear the smugness in his voice. “I’m so happy!”

Soonyoung somehow almost always manages to be with you in the nights, too, even if not physically. Being away from the urban civilization you’re used to has been a little difficult to adjust to, but you feel significantly less alone whenever you hear him calling you. You tell him to be quiet even though both of you are laughing. The distant crickets make your chest warm.

“What do you do? You didn’t tell me before,” You ask him after a second. There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes over you at the idea that he might call you out about when he asked you the same thing. That was two weeks ago, though, you think, and Soonyoung wouldn’t. You’re sure he’s been able to tell that it’s a touchy subject. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, even if (and you’ve learned this the past few weeks) Soonyoung’s a bit more on the oblivious side sometimes.

“I dance!” 

Somehow, despite having not even seen what he looks like, it’s fitting. “Like… teach, or choreograph, or…”

“A little of everything,” Soonyoung tells you, and then starts elaborating. His voice echoes through your radio and you look up at the stars as you listen to him, trying to map out constellations from memory. He sounds so excited to simply talk about it, you can’t imagine what he must look like when he’s actually on stage. You hope you get to see it one day.

“You’ll have to teach me something sometime,” you say once he’s finished, voicing your thoughts. With a giggle that sounds like the stars above you, he tells you he’d love to.

A moment of quiet passes, spent focusing on the tiny specks of fireflies you see in the field around your tower and feeling the summer breeze as it passes. The words slip out of your mouth with much less resistance than you thought they would.

“I used to write,” you murmur into your radio. It takes you a moment to register the heavy beat of your heart, like you just got back from a run.

“Used to?” Soonyoung asks, curious but soft.

“For now,” you answer. The ache you’ve become familiar with throbs in your chest. “Hopefully not forever.”

It’s not the whole story - not even close - but you figure you might be able to tell him with time. The thought stresses you out even when you have nothing to stress about, and you think Soonyoung is psychic because he says, next, “the stars are really pretty tonight.”

You’re not looking at the sky when you answer. Your head is tilted in the direction of his tower. 

“They really are,” you say.

DAY THIRTY-THREE.

You’ve fallen into a bit of a routine with Soonyoung. 

Not a day goes by where you don’t talk to him - the one day you radioed and he didn’t pick up you genuinely thought something happened to him, seconds away from calling a park ranger. Right before you actually did it, though, he picked up his radio and said he had been taking a nap.

(His voice was a little groggy from sleep, sounded like he was pouting whether he meant to or not and you’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart skip a few beats - but if anyone asked, you’d definitely lie about it.)

One of you calls the other around the same time every morning and you don’t put down your radio until the sun is well behind the mountains. You’ve grown used to his presence, in a way, even if you can’t really feel him with you (though sometimes you swear you can). It’s comforting to have him out there with you, and it’s been so long since you’ve talked to someone the way you do with Soonyoung… you find yourself looking forward to every morning, waiting for when you hear him over your radio.

Today is no different.

Well, in an unrelated way, it is - you have to hike to a supply box to get your surplus of food for the next month and a half you have left. But even as you’re doing inventory of what you have left in your cabin on a piece of paper, you’re waiting for Soonyoung’s usual good morning. It comes as always, makes you smile when you hear it.

“Good morning!” 

You leave your scratch paper on your desk and reach for your radio. “Morning,” you say after you’ve pressed the button down. 

“So…” Soonyoung trails off. “Supply drop day.”

“Yeah,” you reply, sitting on your bed.

“Both of us are getting crates of food today…”

What is he getting at? “Uh-huh…?”

“Both of us… getting supplies… from the same place.”

A confused laugh leaves your lips. “Soonyoung, what is your point?”

Even for as often as you talk to him, you’re still always surprised when he starts yelling. “Let’s meet up!” he exclaims, obviously excited, and it clicks in your head.

“Oh my God, can we do that?” 

“Yeah!” Soonyoung sounds like he’s grinning, smile palpable in his voice. “If we pull some strings with the other lookouts and get hiking at the right time, it’s totally possible.”

Holy shit. Your heart is beating wildly, butterflies swarming around it at the thought of meeting Soonyoung in person. “Okay,” you tell him, noting that you sound a little breathless. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”

It takes a few minutes to work everything out - the supply boxes should be dropped off by midday, so you can leave your tower around then and get to the drop location in a little over an hour. Soonyoung has to leave earlier than you since he’s farther away, but if everything goes well the two of you should get to the drop location close to the same time, margin of error small. You radio Jihoon to cover for you while you’re out, and he agrees, although he sounds a bit miffed.

When you finally leave for your hike, you’re not expecting how quiet it is. Soonyoung’s usually there to cover it up with his voice - you don’t hike often (you’ve not had to, given your job for the summer is to watch for fires) but whenever you have he’s been there to keep you company. You plug in your earphones about halfway through your trip just to drown out the quiet, something more to listen to than just trees and the sound of your own footsteps.

Eventually you make it to the supply box, and, well. There’s a guy. Standing in front of a long, green box - you think you see lookout tower names engraved ever few inches: Thorofare, Cottonwood, Twin Peaks. Packing some ready-to-eat meals into his backpack.

Holy shit, Soonyoung? your brain automatically asks, and it sends your heart spiraling up and down. You’re not sure what you thought he looked like, but it wasn’t this. Tall, lean - wait, you don’t even know if this is actually him yet.

Before you can think too much about it, you call out, voice tentative. “Are you… Soonyoung?”

The man turns around, shakes his head with a kind smile. “No,” he says. “I’m Joshua.”

You think about throwing yourself into the river by your tower when you get back for absolutely no reason. Somehow you manage a polite smile and a gentle sorry.

“No, don’t apologize, you’re fine!” Joshua chirps, adjusting the cap on his head. “You’re looking for him?”

You pause. Those aren’t the exact words you would use, but they’re not technically wrong, so you nod. After all, you don’t know what he looks like (you probably should have asked him before both of you left, but you weren’t expecting another person to be here).

“Please don’t tell me he got lost again,” Joshua says, suddenly looking tired, and you look back at him wide-eyed because... again? Has this happened before?

“No,” you tell him. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. Since we both have to pick up supplies he thought it’d be cool if we met up in person.”

Joshua sighs, seemingly relieved, then continues packing what’s left of his supplies into his backpack as he hums. “That’s weird.”

“What is?”

He shrugs. “Soonyoung likes the outdoors, yeah, but the supply box is a pretty far hike from his tower. I think the last few summers he’s had them delivered.”

Oh, you think, and maybe say out loud, because then Joshua’s looking back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. 

“He must really like you to come all the way out here,” he tells you, and you laugh like it might get rid of all the thoughts popping up in your mind that you keep telling yourself to stop thinking about.

“And yet,” you say wistfully, looking towards the horizon. “I still come second to Jihoon.”

This time Joshua laughs, a friendly sound, and the two of you fall into a playful conversation. He’s somewhat a superior of yours, though not by a far gap - as the lookout who’s been on the job the longest, he oversees the rest of you (which is you, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and a few others you have yet to come across). You get along with him easily and it’s weird to think that if you hadn’t gone through what you did a few months ago you wouldn’t be here talking to him, establishing what could be a new friendship. You wonder if that’s a new step towards healing, finding a way to be grateful even if it was horrible.

You talk to Joshua for a while until he says he should get back to his tower. You nod, tell him goodbye (and thanks for his company) and he starts to walk away -

“Shua!”

A burst of platinum blonde hair rushes past you from the opposite direction you came from, heading for Joshua. The new guy drops a bag at his feet and almost softly crashes into Joshua, who has this look on his face you can’t really decipher.

“Hey, Soonyoung,” he says, and you blink.

Soonyoung, like… your Soonyoung? The Soonyoung you’ve been talking to for weeks?

You watch as the two hug, Soonyoung excited to see Joshua and completely ignoring you (though you’re not sure he’s doing it intentionally). All you can do is stand there. This is him, your brain keeps telling you. This is the guy.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “How are you? How have things been?”

Joshua shrugs, a small smile on his face as he puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung’s head and starts… petting. “I’ve been good, same old deal. I know that you’ve been doing good too, though, as far as I’ve seen from your reports.”

Soonyoung beams at the praise and you take note of it in the back of your mind (you also note the way Joshua’s treating him like a toddler and how it’s working). He opens his mouth to say something else but looks around and meets your eyes - for a second there’s nothing at all, but then you think you see an exclamation mark actually pop above his head.

The yell of your name is so loud it makes you jump. “Oh my God,” Soonyoung whines, falling to his knees dramatically. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”

“This is the first time you’ve seen me,” you say. You can’t seem to hold back your smile.

Joshua excuses himself (again) and finally moves on his way, says he’s in Thorofare lookout if anything happens. The sun is mellow on your skin as you look at Soonyoung, take him in - light hair, warm eyes, tan skin. His smile matches your own. A breeze shifts by, slow and sweet.

“Hi,” you say.

Soonyoung grins.

“Hey.”

-

So the bag you saw Soonyoung drop on the ground before was, in fact, for a picnic.

He didn’t bring a lot of food (the whole point of the hike was to get supply boxes anyways) aside from a few candy bars he’d saved for today. He did bring a blanket, however, and the two of you set everything up on the edge of a rock not too far away from the drop location, under some trees. It looks over a small ravine, a stream cutting through at the bottom. 

The time goes by like it was never there in the first place, spent talking and laughing. Soonyoung is just as animated in person as you thought he’d be, telling stories wildly as the two of you snack away a portion of your supplies. You know the two of you don’t have much time together, given how late it already was when Soonyoung arrived and both of your hikes back to your respective towers, but it’s still… refreshing, almost, to be with him like this, to finally get a piece of him you didn’t before. To hear him without the crackle of the radio and to see him.

To see him.

Something stirs in your chest when you look at him lying back on the blanket, arms supporting his head with his eyes closed. The sun lights up his skin in a golden glow, like honey, and the dark roots growing into his blonde hair are somehow endearing. The breath leaves your lungs when you finally label him as pretty. You hope you can blame the heat in your cheeks on the sun.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Soonyoung sighs, still not opening his eyes. You almost reach out to brush the hair away from his face, but a breeze comes by and does it for you. You hope it’s not a sign.

“It would be nice, huh,” you murmur in response. You finally break your gaze from Soonyoung and lean back on your hands, soaking up the feeling of the blue sky.

It’s now that you remember what Joshua had said earlier about Soonyoung usually getting his supplies delivered, and you turn back to him. “Hey, before you got to the supply box, Joshua and I were talking.” Soonyoung hums in acknowledgement. “Is the hike from your tower to here really that bad?”

His voice strains as he stretches, opening his eyes to look at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s a bitch of a hike to take sometimes. But it’s not really hard except for a few spots, just long.”

You furrow your brows. When you agreed to meet him, you didn’t think it’d be this much trouble for him. “And you came all this way so we could… what, sit here and eat? Like we do most of the time anyways? Just separately?”

Soonyoung pouts at you and you feel personally attacked. “Food tastes good when you’re with other people.”

You give him a soft, semi-playful glare, and Soonyoung offers a small giggle. You turn back towards the view in front of you.

“Did you not want me to come down?” He asks, and he doesn’t sound… sad, really, more observant. Like he wants to know where you’re at.

“No,” you answer almost immediately (Jesus, your brain says). “I just… it’s a long trip. It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the effort.”

Like I’m worth the effort, you think to yourself. 

You hear Soonyoung shuffle behind you and turn around to look at him again, finding him sitting up straight. “It is to me,” he tells you, and there’s something in his eyes that holds you in your spot. The tips of his fingers brush against yours on the blanket. You’d look down if you didn’t think you’d miss something. “I wanted to.”

In a second, it clicks.

-

It’s not much longer until Soonyoung needs to start heading back. The two of you get your things together, and you help him pack up the picnic supplies he brought. When everything’s said and done and the two of you are back by the supply box, there’s a second of uncharacteristic quiet that falls over you.

“Let me know when you get back,” you say after a moment. Soonyoung grins.

“You’re worried about me!” he swoons, and you hit him on the shoulder playfully, but don’t deny it. It can be dangerous out there, and even if Soonyoung has been out here longer than you, anything can happen. 

“Just radio me, okay?”

Soonyoung smiles, something a little softer from before. He nods. “I will. You be safe too.”

You nod in return, taking a few steps back towards the trail that leads back to your tower. “Talk to you later, Hoshi.”

The last you see of him before you turn around is the grin on his face.

DAY THIRTY-FOUR.

It feels like forever since you’ve been here.

A window is open and welcomes a distant ambiance of the forest around you, trees and birds and animals. The journal you brought with you is open to the first page, but remains untouched - nothing on the pages. At least, not yet.

(The not yet you always tell yourself seems closer, this time, not so far away. Within reach, or at least within reason.)

Soonyoung had called in that the hike from yesterday had worn him out and he needed a nap. You had laughed fondly at how tired he sounded, told him to sleep well and that you’d be waiting for him. And you feel the words, right at your fingertips, the way the rest and wait to be written. Their presence is both terrifying and reassuring. 

You don’t think they’ll be able to bleed out correctly, not the way they used to since it’s been so long. But they’re there, in your mind, in your heart. 

You pick up the pen you got out, feel the weight of it as you click it a few times. You tap it on the desk once, twice, and then.

You take a deep breath and start to write.

DAY SIXTY-FOUR.

“Are you lookin’ at the fire?”

Your eyes leave the page of your book at Soonyoung’s voice crackling from the radio, looking around your cabin windows to see that, oh, there is a fire. You’d kind of forgotten that it’s… literally your job. At least there are multiple lookouts.

You fold the corner of the page you’re on as a makeshift bookmark before closing the book and setting it down on your bed as you stand to get your radio. You grab a can of soda from the mini-fridge you’ve started to utilize (as best you can, given it does a mediocre job at keeping things cool) before walking out onto the deck, sitting in one of the chairs you set up. “Now I am,” you tell Soonyoung as you adjust the chair so it faces the direction of the fire. You think you’re the closest lookout to it - which makes the fact that you didn’t notice it even worse - but not in any danger. The smoke paints the evening sky red-orange, washing over the purples and blues the sun used earlier as it set. “You’ve called it in?”

“Yeah, told Josh, who told the higher-ups,” Soonyoung responds, voice strangely… solemn? He sighs his next words. “They’ll probably send a crew in for suppression by morning.”

“Is there a reason you sound sad about putting a potentially dangerous forest fire out?” You tease, cracking open your soda and taking a sip. The carbonation feels good in your mouth, pops on your tongue.

“I’m not!” Soonyoung denies after some sputtering, and you laugh. “Just… ugh, looking at it - I’ve worked here every summer for the past, like, five years, and I’ve only ever seen two fires. Three, counting this one.” His voice gains a certain softness, like he’s lost in thought. “I don’t want the place to burn down or anything, but… don’t you think it’s kind of beautiful?”

It’s a little morally ambiguous, but as you look at the distant, licking flames you have to agree. In the dark, it’s vibrant, more than just ashy smoke and the smell of burning - it glows red, flushes out silhouettes of the trees in between it and you.

“I guess it is,” you hum into your radio as you stare at it.

“So. What should we name it?”

“The fire?”

“Yes,” Soonyoung says, dramatic as always. “She needs a name! I’ve always given them names, but I’ll let you do the honor this time.”

There’s something sweet in the way he offers you the chance to name it, and you try not to dwell on it too much. “Ah,” you start, thinking for a moment. “Barbara. The Barbara Fire.”

Soonyoung howls out a laugh and it’s infectious; you feel the tugging of your lips into a grin. “That is the worst thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “We are not naming it the Barbara Fire.”

You huff out a fake whine. “Come on, it’s just Barb! She’s beautiful.”

“But deadly,” Soonyoung adds in a voice that sounds like it came straight out of a crime documentary. It makes you giggle, the two of you throwing around silly, stupid names.

“Okay, okay,” you say after a few minutes. “Then… hmm, the Hoshi Fire.”

There’s a long, long pause, and you hold down the button to your radio again. “Uh oh, is he broken?”

Soonyoung’s voice comes through, joking, but you sense a pinch of sincerity. “You want to name a raging forest fire after me… I feel like I shouldn’t be happy but I kind of am.”

You remember to push the button as you laugh, looking directly at the fire and shouting, “I hereby dub thee… the Hoshi Fire!” as loud as you can.

After the laughter dies down, for a second, there’s quiet - not awkward or for the sake of a bit, just quiet. Soonyoung’s not telling a story, you’re not giving witty comebacks. It’s just the two of you and the fire, alone in the forest.

It breaks eventually. Soft, gentle. “I’m glad you’re out here, you know,” Soonyoung says.

His words make you stiffen and relax all at once, and almost on instinct you look in the direction of his tower. You can’t really see the silhouette - the sun too far gone, taking the last of its light with it - but you know it’s there, can pinpoint exactly where it should be. You hope Soonyoung’s looking over at you, too.

And even if the reason you’re here in the first place is still a tender bruise to be pressed, you find yourself recovering a little more every day. “I am, too,” you respond. “I… I wish you were over here.”

It’s a roundabout way to say I miss you, but a part of you thinks neither of you are ready for something that explicit. You reach a hand out in the direction of Soonyoung’s tower, grasping at it like it might bring him to you. It’s not as if you can’t meet up with him again, but… between the distance and the fact that there’s an actual fire to keep your eye on, it certainly wouldn’t be easy. This is the closest you can get for now.

“I wish I was too,” Soonyoung says. You close your eyes to picture him, pretty smile and fond eyes. “We could hang out, like last time.”

“Without the radios,” you add. 

“We could, um… you know.”

His words make you giggle, and you feel a little lucky that you’re not holding down the button. Your heart is pounding in your chest, nervous but stable, secure, as you reply. A welcomed beat, even if startling.

“No, I don’t,” you tell him. Your soda sits forgotten, half-empty, on the floor of the deck by your feet. You don’t bother paying attention to the fire. “What could we do?”

Soonyoung groans and this time you laugh pushing the button so he can hear you, warm and affectionate. “Don’t tease me! You know what I’m talking about.”

You do. “What could we do, Soonyoung?”

There’s a pause, but you know he’s still there.

“Well,” he says eventually. “Let me tell you.”

DAY SEVENTY-SIX.

The fire’s gotten big.

You feel like you shouldn’t be surprised by it - it’s a wildfire, they’re not exactly easy to contain, but seeing it up close like this is vastly different from being in a city and barely even noticing the smoke. It is larger than life out here, consuming more and more of the forest each day. The last few days you’ve spent inside due to the low visibility (though it’s not as if you take a hike every day anyways). It makes you wonder if it’s safe to stay out here.

“...Hey,”  Soonyoung radios in. “I have a question for you.”

Rationally, you know whatever it is, it can’t be that serious. But your heart picks up pace anyways, beats a little harder as you pick up your radio to respond. “Look, it was Jihoon’s idea to use the fireworks, I promise neither of us knew it would start the fire.”

Soonyoung sputters out a laugh and you match him, feeling yourself calm down. “I’ll… I’ll ask Jihoon about that later, but - I really do have something to ask you.”

You lay down in your bed, unmade and messy. “Is it… bad?”

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung responds. “Maybe?”

“Okay…” you say, timid. “Shoot.”

“When you first got here, I asked why you took the job,” he says, and you nod to yourself, remembering the first call you got from him. “You just… never really responded. I get it if it’s, like, a touchy subject, I don’t want to pressure you at all…”

“No,” you interrupt before you realize what you’re saying. You take a deep breath, Soonyoung waits. “No, it’s probably… it might be good to talk about it. I’ll tell you.”

He murmurs an okay, tells you to take your time and you do. It’s not like you’re scared to tell him - you’ve come to trust him, you know he won’t judge you for anything that happened or think any differently of you. You’re not even sure that’s why it’s hard for you to talk about - rather than any sort of outside force that might affect you, it’s more… more of a part of you that you felt you lost. It’s more coming to terms - even after these months - and going through the motions. It’s scary to talk about disconnection, especially from the one thing you loved (love?) more than anything.

“I… write,” is how you start, looking at the ceiling of your cabin as you speak. “Or wrote, maybe? I’m an author. I have a few books published. Writing is something I’ve loved since I was so young, it’s… a part of me, really. It’s special to me.

“When I finally got a manager and a publishing company and all that official stuff, I was so excited. It was like I was finally living my dream. I wrote my first book and got it published and it did really well, so my management asked me to do another, and I did. Then they asked for one after that, and I didn’t… it felt too soon, in a way. Rushed. But I guess I did it because I had to, because I figured this just came with being a writer and not everything is what you want it to be - and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had wanted almost my entire life.”

You take a moment to steady yourself, note the tremble of your fingers and take a few deep breaths. Soonyoung waits for you, patient and kind. “It went like that for a while, and I lost touch with writing. I stopped loving the only thing I knew how to love. I was so detached from it. A few months before I took this job my manager set up a press conference for me, and I… kind of… had a breakdown. At the conference. So I’m out here to run away for a second. Be away from it all.”

The quiet that follows doesn’t make you nervous, really, but you’re still waiting for a reply of any sort. Even if it’s the common oh or it’ll be okay that you got from distant friends and relatives who didn’t know what was really going on. But Soonyoung was patient with you, so you can be patient with him.

“Have you written since?” He asks after a minute, and your eyes flash over to the journal on your desk. One page has the familiar strokes and loops of your handwriting, written after you met Soonyoung in person.

“Only once,” you respond, truthful.

“When you start to write again… will you show me?”

And for some reason the question is so tender, filled to the brim with something you want to name. It makes tears spring to your eyes as you look out over the rising fire, trying not to let your voice shake too much as you reply.

(Maybe it’s because he said when and not if, maybe it’s because he didn’t tell you it’ll be okay, maybe it’s because it’s him and not someone else telling you the same thing.)

“Yeah,” you say, letting go of the button to sniff. “Yeah, I will. If you let me see one of your dances.”

You hear Soonyoung’s smile through the radio as he tells you it’s a deal.

DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT.

For the first time since you started working, someone who isn’t Soonyoung calls you through the radio (not counting the time you radioed Jihoon to make sure he was still alive, because you only saw him once and hadn’t heard from him since then). You hear the familiar click that tells you someone’s on the station, and you’re fully expecting Soonyoung’s voice to light up your cabin the way it always does. Instead, Joshua’s voice rings through.

“You there?” He asks after a comfortable call of your name, and you pick up your radio.

“Yeah, I’m here. It’s been a while,” you respond, and Joshua hums. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve… been,” he tells you, which earns a small laugh. “Anyways, I called in to let you know that they’re having trouble controlling the fire -”

You take a look at the giant flume of smoke north of your tower, nodding to yourself. “I can see that.”

Joshua tells you to be quiet. You hear the friendly smile in his voice.

“There’ll be an evacuation team here within the next two days,” he says. “Maybe less, shouldn’t be more. They’re gonna get all the lookouts evacuated.”

Oh. Evacuation? That means… the city. Your apartment, back to your family and friends. You’d forgotten an entire world exists outside of the bubble you created for yourself.

“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking at the fire. “I assume you’ve told the other lookouts?”

“I’ve got a few more to call, but other than that, yeah, everyone’s covered. I told Soonyoung and Jihoon first,” Joshua tells you, and you blink at the fact that you didn’t even have to ask. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Yeah. Stay safe, Josh.”

You sit for a while after that, trying to cope with the feeling in your chest. You… you feel better about everything, about writing, for sure, but. But. It’s cut short, even if only by a little over a week. You haven’t even started packing anything up - so much of you is strewn around the cabin, in the field around your tower, in the trees of the forest you hiked through. You don’t think you’re ready to say goodbye to the place you’ve made your home and the people (person, your heart whispers) with it. 

The sun starts to set and the fire grows. You sit on your bed and look at the things you’ve made your own, a sunken, unfinished emotion spreading through you. Eventually it is Soonyoung’s voice that comes from your radio, low and humorous.

“The Hoshi Fire can’t be stopped…” he murmurs, and you laugh despite the loss you feel. 

“Please,” you groan into your radio after you’ve grabbed it. “We’re getting evacuated!”

Soonyoung giggles, something mischievous that makes your heart warm with slow appreciation. “I can’t believe it’s ending so soon,” you say, standing up to walk around aimlessly.

“Yeah, the summer went by super fast, huh?” Soonyoung replies. “I’m kind of excited, though. I’ve missed a proper dance studio.”

That’s… oh. 

A current of mild surprise rolls through you and you think you physically feel your jaw drop, just a little. That - that hurt. More than you want it to, more than you think it should - but it’s... fine. You’ve only known Soonyoung for a few months, it’s not like…

You realize you haven’t responded and open your mouth on purpose this time. “I wish we could share the sentiment, Hoshi,” you joke, hoping it doesn’t sound too stiff. 

If Soonyoung notices anything, he doesn’t say it. Only laughs, sweet and genuine. “I’m sure you’ll find something to yearn for just as I yearn for dance,” he says dramatically. You laugh, forced, because yeah, you will. Maybe you already have.

DAY EIGHTY.

Evacuation day.

Last day in your tower. Last day in the forest. Last day of the job you took to escape, to heal. It’s spent packing up the things you brought with you, throwing away everything else. Joshua said helicopters would be touching down at two points - Twin Peaks lookout and Mule Point lookout. Twin Peaks is Soonyoung’s tower, and if you planned it out right, you could probably get there and leave with him.

You tell yourself that the reason you can’t is because Mule Point is closer. Safer. They’re evacuating you for a reason.

“Hey.”

Speak of the devil, you think, grabbing your radio from its charging port. “Hi.”

“So,” Soonyoung says. For the first time since you’ve known him, he seems awkward. “Evacuation day.”

“Yessir…”

“What evacuation point are you hiking to?”

You pause, hesitate like you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. “Mule Point,” you manage to get out. “It’s closer,” you say after, your brain telling you to justify it, explain.

“What did the Hoshi Fire ever do to you?” Soonyoung huffs out through a laugh, and it sounds so unaffected that you feel that ache from before again. After a second, he adds, “so… this’ll be the last we talk. At least for a while.”

That realization hits you like a brick and the sting behind your eyes seems normal - regardless of whatever was built between you and Soonyoung or what lead you out here in the first place, it’s so sad that it’s ending. “Yeah,” you say quietly. Everything is packed, you just need to get hiking. “I, um. Is it cheesy to say thank you?”

“Maybe,” Soonyoung chuckles. “But it’ll also make me feel really good, so…”

You feel yourself calm down and let out your own small giggle. Maybe it was always meant to end this way, a little too soon, a little too sad. “Really… thanks, Soonyoung. I think it would’ve been worse for me if I got the silence I came out here for. I’m glad I had you to talk to.”

“Thank you, too,” Soonyoung says back. “I hope… you write again. I’ll talk to you later.”

The mention of it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and you feel the smallest of smiles on your lips. “Yeah. Later.”

The radio clicks off and that’s the last you hear from Soonyoung.

EPILOGUE.

It’s hard to come back.

From nature, from Soonyoung - everything, really. To go from trees and fires and talking every night back to car horns, busy sidewalks and your own apartment. It’s weird to wake up and not see the immediate shine of the sun through your windows. But you come back, slowly get used to the life you had before.

And you start writing.

Given - you get back in August only start writing again in October, but you write. Little by little, page after page. Maybe not every day, like you used to, but the words are back and they are eager to get out, leave their mark as your work. You stand up to your management (with Minghao’s support) and take control of your own writing schedule. The pressure from before leaves. Writing becomes special more than ever, returns as the one thing you never get truly tired of.

Minghao asks about the job, your summer. You tell him it was easy and peaceful, and that you’re thankful for the time. You mention the other lookouts. You mention Soonyoung. Only in passing, though. 

(Minghao definitely suspects something, but even if he asked, you wouldn’t tell him much.)

Sometimes you allow yourself to think of him - when you got back, you looked for a Soonyoung in the multiple dance studios in the city, but since you didn’t have a last name or any proper title, nothing came up. After that, you gave up, but he still shows up in your thoughts from time to time, bright blonde hair (the roots growing in) and glowing smile. It’s cold out, now, so you hope he isn’t getting sick and that he’s staying warm.

You’re reminded of just how cold it is when you have to brace the outside world to get your mail. There’s not even any wind, just an undeniable cold, and it makes your nose burn and eyes water as you walk the short trek to your mailbox. You find your slot and push your key in, unlocking it and gathering your mail. Most of it is junk, but you could have sworn something you ordered was supposed to come today -

“Excuse me?”

You turn your head to the voice and find a man walking towards you, his head turned down towards a small piece of paper. His voice sounds familiar, but you figure it must just be a neighbor you haven’t spoken to in a while. You turn your body to him, waiting for him to look up from the note so you can place a name on him. “Do you know where I can find an author…”

He looks up.

It’s Soonyoung.

He looks a little different - his hair is shorter, dyed black instead of the platinum you remember from last July. But it’s definitely him. The longer you stare at each other the wider his smile gets, and you stand, speechless. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. Your heart starts to race, warms you up beneath your jacket.

“Found you,” Soonyoung grins. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “You did.”

[ak8shi]

Sugawara + Bokuto: HQ boys as workout instructors series

Kuroo + Iwaizumi ver.

warnings: light swearing!!

Sugawara Koushi

After coming back from school for summer break, you decide to renew your gym membership!!

A ton of your friends have recommended taking yoga, so you sign up for a class, just to try it out

The class takes place on Sunday mornings at 10 am, leaving enough time for you to grab a light breakfast before class

You decide to pick up an acai bowl from your local smoothie/nutrition shoppe you stop in so often that the workers know your order LMAO

You decide to sit down and scroll through your phone while you wait for your order,,, but then the door chime rings alerting you that someone else has entered the small shop

You look up, making eye contact with the most beautiful man,,, that you’ve probably ever seen

He looks at you for a second with his light eyes, giving you a polite smile, then goes up to the counter to order a smoothie

Sis,, why are you in love already hahaha

You, wearing old yoga pants and an old raggedy T-shirt, no makeup on, hair messy: why is this my life 😔

One of the workers finally calls your order number, and you go to grab it from the counter before you make a fool out of yourself in front of this angelic man

You scarf down your breakfast in your car, making it to the gym twenty minutes before your class begins

Tidying your appearance a bit, you pull your hair up and tie your large shirt before walking into the yoga studio

You, seeing the beautiful man from the smoothie shop at the front of the class: ☺️wow☺️my luck☺️

He hasn’t seen you yet since you decided to set up at a mat in the back, but the man addresses the class,

“Good morning everyone, my name is Suga and I’m going to be your instructor today! Please make sure you are stretching in the meantime before we officially begin!”

He gives everyone the biggest, most glowing smile UGH

Oh so he’s ANGELIC angelic,,,,, yet sexy somehow

As you begin stretching, he starts walking around to see if anyone needs help and he’s coming towards you dear god

Suga’s face lights up, obviously recognizing you from the smoothie shop

Him, the best boy, smiling down at you: hey! Do you need any help stretching? Also, I didn’t catch your name this morning at the smoothie place :))

You: It’s y/n, & you can do more than help me stretch <3

Asaksjajaksjk anyways,, he gently guides you through some simple stretches, pushing on your back lightly and guiding you (with your permission ofc)

You don’t notice, but from an outside pov he’s kind of a blushing mess

Finally, he goes back up to the front he suddenly remembers he has a class to teach

Suga’s class consists of extremely calming music, Jack Johnson, and nature noises !! relaxing king

The class is so refreshing and not what you expected at all, also Suga’s AMAZING?? And so flexible

It’s super enjoyable because he has all these little tricks to do difficult movements and poses, and he adds in little comments about things dadknsdf

Suga: move your arms as low as possible, even lower than your standards for men ladies

After the class finishes, you feel amazing and energized, dare I say life changing ,

A few weeks pass, and you’ve gone to every yoga class that he’s put on; he’s just that good

He comes over to talk to you at your mat before every class, making casual conversation

Him: hey, are you coming to my class next week? If you don’t I have an event planned 🤬

You: Is that a threat

Him: ..

He’s TEW MUCH LMAO very witty but so loveable :(( honestly how could you not have a crush on this pretty boy

You literally have no idea that he looks forward to teaching the class now, just because he’s able to see you

Oblivious, you kind of accept the fact that you really like him, but almost every woman in the studio OGLES over him so you try not to get your hopes up

One day before class, you stop into the smoothie shop, and he’s already standing there in the shop, hands shoved into his Lulu Lemon shorts,,,, looking so unbelievably handsome

Him: finally, I can buy you a drink

You: over my dead body sweetie ☺️

After fighting in the shop like the idiots you are,, you give in and allow him to pay for your smoothie

Suga: Look, I already know what to order for you, that’s how well I know my favorite yoga student ;)

You: …I’m allergic to peanut butter

Him: Heart’s 💔 been broke so many times-

LMAO anyways, he let’s you order and before you can get into your car to head over to the gym, he gently grabs your arm to stop you

“I know we don’t know each other super well… but I really like you and think you’re beautiful. Would you want to go out with me sometime, like not at the gym?”

DJDJDOID HE LOOKS SO NERVOUS PLEASE !!!

Ugh his genuineness is so attractive to you, of course you say yes, causing a huge smile to cover his face

You: I’ll race you to the gym, if I win you buy my smoothie again next week

Suga: deal

Suga also that day: gets a speeding ticket and is late to class

Bokuto Koutarou

So your university gym offers a large variety of classes, including an extremely popular class called Hip Hop Fitness,,, you see where I’m going with this

You sign up with your friends for a Wednesday night class, thinking it would just be nice to destress since midterms are over

You and your gals carpool to the gym together, and you walk into the dance studio,, there’s already music playing super loudly,

Immediately your eyes as well as everyone else’s are drawn to the man standing in front of the studio mirror, adorned in sweatpants and a black tee-shirt

“hEy welcome to Hip-Hop!! I’m Bokuto, thank you for showing up tonight!”

He is so damn loud I’m howling

It’s hilarious because he literally looks like a frat dude, like super buff and intimidating, but his personality and teaching position says otherwise

He stops the other music from playing and puts on his playlist, asking everyone to stand up from the wooden floors

“Okay everyone, I have a few rules; number one, follow me. Number two, give it your all, and number three, you better be throwing it back with me. Let’s get it.”

He turns on his playlist and its Nicki LMAOO you are on the ground

The playlist consists of a lot of female rappers and singers, also remixes of pop songs, in other words it’s IMMACULATE for dancing

He is SO charismatic and HOT, you can’t take your eyes off him; He’s amazing at dancing ok but you’re sweating by the time the second song comes on

He’s the type of instructor that yells things out, “OKAY I see YOU,” “AYYEE” LMAOSJDMS ,,, he literally gets himself and others so hyped up

However,,,  it seems like he hovers around you a lot throughout the class, trying to dance with you

Your friends: sis…

You, oblivious: ???

Bokuto: 🔍👀 a crumb,,, ma’am ?

Him, yelling over the music: what’s your name????

You tell him, not thinking anything of it, but then he drags you up to the front and starts throwing it back thick king

You try to keep up with him,,, but we all know he’s untouchable when it comes to cake, LMAO

By the end of the class, you are EXHAUSTED, it truly was a workout

Bokuto is still energized and looks like he could do another class though

He says bye to everyone, and you leave the class not really expecting to see your little crush again

BUT

..

Around a week later you’re walking to the library on campus, and you’re scrolling through your music library to find the perfect song to listen to on your walk

You literally still can not stop thinking about Bokuto, he’s just an unforgettable person truthfully

Someone kind of bumps into you, and you look up ready to apologize, but when you look up you are met with Bokuto’s amber eyes

He’s with another super tall, black haired dude with piercing blue eyes, who he doesn’t even introduce lmao poor akaashi

He’s so happy to see you again I would die for him

Him: I wanted to talk to you after the class but I couldn’t find you ! I guess its kind of like fate bringing us together again, AKAASHI,,, this is the girl I was telling you about

You, a mess: sir you own my entire heart already

Him:

Him: I need to take you out IMMEDIATELY rip your study plans and Keiji getting ditched

He grabs your hand, dragging you to the coffee shop located just off campus

He is so eccentric and fun-loving, his personality is everything you thought it would be ++more !!

He definitely guilts you into going to his classes ,, but I mean are you really losing here

You get to see a sweaty Bokuto, dance with your crush, and then he usually takes you out to get ice cream after because fuck a diet ! He doesn’t believe in that bullshit

He’s so proud of meeting you through his class, he brags about it to everyone,,

Bokuto: yeah😌 she fell for how much ass I have

Kuroo: k... literally I didn’t ask

[lailarain]

Warning: Spoilers for Super Danganronpa 2.5: Komaeda Nagito

Let's be honest, I'm only here for Nagito lol

(I really wanted to watch the english dub but I could only find the japanese one so yeah😔)

Episode 1(the only episode):

IT'S NAGITO BABY YES

Wait isn't that other blonde bitch, peach hair bitch, and white hair girl?

Run of the mill guy my ass🤨

SAYAKA IS THAT YOU

WAIT DID NAGITO JUST GET HIT BY A CAR

Wait isn't he the ultimate lucky student? He seems really unlucky. Is this even canon

Okay I googled it and this is canon so wtf is going on

Is this an alternative universe or some shit

WAIT MAKOTO IS FLIRTING WHY IS MAKOTO FLIRTING WHAT IN THE LITERAL FUCK IS GOING ON

DID HE JUST CALL HER DARLING

WAIT THAT'S EVERYBODY EVEN THE SCARY TEACHER LADY

WAIT KAZUCHI AND FUYUHIKO ARE FRIENDS WITH HIM THAT'S SO WHOLESOME

HE'S JUST SITTING THERE SO CHILL WHILE THE BASEBALL COMES THROUGH THE WINDOW THAT'S SO HIM THO

LEON DID THAT WAIT WHAT

Wait it's normally the other way around where Nagito's good luck gives everyone else bad luck

I see Soda is still a simp😅

And an idiot, apparently

NAGITO IS SO DRAMATIC LMAOO

WAIT THE TEACHER SOUNDS LIKE A LITERALLY TWO YEAR OLD IS THIS REALLY WHAT SHE SOUNDS LIKE IN JAPANESE?!?!?!?

Kazuichi is cool and all but this dude has gotta stop being a SIMP

WAIT NAGITO WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU COULD AT LEAST BREAK IT TO HIM KINDLY?

Nagito is....speaking facts actually😳

THE FISTBUMP SO WHOLESOME AGGGHHH

WAIT WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH NAGITO

HE BASICALLY WORSHIPS PEOPLE WITH TALENT WHO IS THIS GUY WTF IS HE TALKING ABOUT

Okay Nagito you're getting a little scary😀

Peko in the bush be like 😡

FUYUHIKO NOT JUDGING HIM FOR WHO HE IS YES

Fuyuhiko is still the same I see🤣

WAIT WHY IS NAGITO THIS UNLUCKY

NAGITO WYD😳😳😳

Can we get an f in the chat for Nagito

WAIT IS THAT HAJIME WHAT

Or.....Izuru maybe?

WAIT WHY ARE THERE POLICE OFFICERS ALL OF A SUDDEN WHAT'S GOING ON

WAIT HE JUST KILLED THEM

WHAT ARE THOSE RED SQUARE THINGS

Awwww Sonia had fun

WAIT WHAT'S GOING ON

IS THAT A MURAL

WAIT IS KAZUICHI DEAD WHAT'S GOING ON I'M SO CONFUSED

SOUDA WAS WHAT?!?!?!?!?

He wants to avenge his friend aww🥺

DAMN SONIA IS A BADDIE💅

Nagito what are you doing go with them🤨

Poor Nagi you're special too🥺

WAIT HAJIME KILLED SOUDA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

WAIT I THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT NAGITO BUT WHY WOULD HE KILL HIM JUST FOR BEING NAGITO'S FRIEND?!?!?!?

SONIA HAS A BAZOOKA WHY DOES SHE HAVE A BAZOOKA

WAIT DON'T TELL ME PEKO IS DYING

WAIT DON'T TELL ME FUYUHIKO IS DEAD

HAJIME WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T YOU DARE

PEKO NO

WAIT THIS CAN'T BE AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE BECAUSE HE CLEARLY REMEMBERS WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM IN GOODBYE DESPAIR SO WHAT'S GOING ON WHY DID HAJIME KILL THEM

WHY IS HAJIME TRYING TO END THE WORLD WHY IS THE WORLD EVEN FIXED IN THE FIRST PLACE

WHAT NO THEY'RE DEAD FUCK

PETITION TO GET NAGITO A MF THERAPIST

WAIT PLEASE TELL ME NAGITO IS GONNA PULL OUT A GUN AGAIN

Wait did the screws just-

WAIT NAGITO DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME AGAIN

WAIT DID HE JUST SHOOT-

NAGITO NOOOOOOO

I ONLY GOT TO SEE YOU FOR 19 MINUTES WHYYYYY

WAIT HE'S ALIVE WHY DID HIS OUTFIT SUDDENLY CHANGE

Wait WHAT "ILLUSION" WHAT'S GOING ON

WAIT BUT I THOUGHT THEY GOT RELEASED FROMT HE PROGRAM AFTER JUNKO DIED WTF

WAIT SO THE WHOLESOME KAZUICHI-FUYUHIKO-NAGITO TRIO WASN'T REAL!?!??!?

At least Nagito has come back to his senses😭😭😭

WAIT SO THAT MEANS HE REALLY WANTED TO BE FRIENDS THATS SO SWEET

Ohhhhhh so THAT'S why Makoto was so florty it's because he viewed Makoto as a lot less awkward than he actually was

WAIT HE'S AWAKE YES

AWWWWW MY BOI IS SO HAPPY AHHHHH

AWWWWW HE'S HUGGING THEM

WAIT IS THAT IT!?!?!?

Well, at the very least, I'm happy to see an entire special centered around my favorite boi.

Okay, as for how I rate 「Super Danganronpa 2.5: Komaeda Nagito」、I think I'd rate it 9/10. I loved the idea, the story, and the way it was centered around my favorite character in the whole francise. I extremely enjoyed how wholesome the friendship of Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi, and Nagito was. However, I was confused as to what was happening during the majority of it. And while there's nothing necessarily WRONG with that, I'm still confused as to why he would've wanted to be friends with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko, of all people. I would've found it more realistic if it was instead Chiaki and Hajime. I also wonder how he knew that Hajime and Izuru were the same person from the moment he woke up, even though he was dead and not present furing the big reveal at the end of the second game. I'm also curious as to why he despised talent in the weird virtual world. It's likely that they answers to all those questions were obvious and I'm just a huge idiot tho. Overall, it was nice to see what could've been of Nagito, and to discover how much he actually does value friendship. It helped understand and grow to know better the lovable, chaotic boi that we all either love or hate, known as Nagito Komaeda.

[shingia]

ALMA FUCK I NEED TO STOP SENDING YOU ASK BUT THAT PARTY PLAYLIST PLEASE 💥💳💥💳💥 also good luck with your cousins<33

OOOOH OFC 😼😼 here are the links to songs that i think are worth imagining suna and the twins dancing to... but i’ll put my entire playlist below the readmore hehe 👀

à ma table (the one i talked about in my rb💀 if u can : listen to it with the volume all the way up to understand ✨the hype✨ lmaoo)

impec (THE BOYS’ VOICES AT THE BEGINNING??! ITS THEM IDC 🤚🏼🤚🏼)

vay - dj leska (just... being sandwiched between suna and tsumu on the chorus of that song 🤒🤒 the lyrics are FILTHY but we don’t talk abt that)

elle est bonne sa mère (omg that one.... one time i made eye contact with a guy during THE WHOLE SONG 😳 (it’s basically a guy singing abt a girl’s body💀)

AWA (i can just imagine suna blasting it in his car and telling everyone to « CHECK OUT THE BASS BRO »😭😭😭😭)

pookie (i think that one is known outside of france but i HAVE to put it because- yeah)

so maness and djomb (i’m so ashamed to say that but... the choruses kinda slap 😭 the kind of songs that would make them jump everywhere and SCREAM the lyrics) (fun fact : the second song is only abt how hot a girl is💀💀)

bené (ok i HATE that song and that duo.... but i’ve seen people « dance😏 » on this song...... and.. yeah👀)

from my personal spotify 😯😯😯😯😯

[marsbutterfly]

more yelena answers to yelena questions by tsuki 

LEGIT SAME, i don’t read a whole lot of rough stuff but if there’s not aftercare im not interested!! it means so much to me and sometimes those soft moments afterwards is even more intimate than the fucking 

she would be so so so humiliated, but she would also definitely ask you to do it again. 

thank you!!!! oh my god what a compliment! i’m so glad that you liked it so much 

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, SUGGESTION ACCEPTED. FUCK. i can picture this in my head so perfectly. i’m going to write this. IM GOING TO WRITE THIS. aw fuck im just thinking about the look she would have on her face when she’s feeling it all too much and the way she’d cling to you *buries my head in the sand like an ostrich*

i want to be sweet with her so bad, and i definitely want to include that in whatever i write next for her!! lots of kithes will be in order and other loving gestures. i love the idea of cleaning her up after sex, especially if she’s too exhausted to do it herself 

your wish is my command. romantic lesbian sex with Yelena coming right the fuck up! “and yeah sure they can get rough too- it’s Yelena anyways lmaoo” BITCH LKAJDSHFLJKSHD TRUE. she’d get carried away for fkn sure, but if i did a part 2 it would explore the emotional connection between Yelena & the reader a lot more. and it’ll still be smutty as all fuck, though i would like to write about a time when Yelena lets herself drop her guard and lets herself be lost to pleasure & physical sensations. that’s my one gripe with the fic i wrote - i wanted to have reader do more stuff to her but i was already at 8k words and i had already written about so much and so many separate interactions. sometimes i have to remind myself that nobody wants to read a novella aaaaaaaa

she really, truly would. i think she would go silent for a long, long time, and just sit motionless until you’re like “so uh are you dead?” god i tried to find it on youtube with no luck but have you ever seen the movie booksmart (2019)? makes me think of that one scene at the beginning where beanie feldstein is mad as hell after getting a water balloon to the face, and then it cuts to them in the car with her still mad as hell, and then to them sitting on the picnic table with her mad as hell. that’s Yelena. and then reader is kaitlyn dever singing “if you don’t say something in the next 10 minutes im going to take you to the hospital / i don’t want to say im getting concerned but to be honest im getting concerned” 

just picturing the way she would look at you if she made you squirt.... holy fuck i got a full body shiver. 

i can get behind this..... and Yelena can get behind ME. while i’m shoved up against a dresser..... oh yes please. i am interested... 

ooohh this is a good idea! i think Onyankopon would definitely have figured out what’s going on between the two of them, he’s too smart and too close with Yelena not to. i can’t think of anyone else that wouldn’t be concerned about reader if they were to find out, lmao. maybe Kiyomi Azumabito, and some of the Hizuru ensemble? they’re pretty neutral and it wouldn’t cause a conflict of interest. i decided that if someone were to walk it on them it would be Kiyomi since she would literally not give a flying fuck, and just flusteredly bumble back out while apologizing profusely 

[selfcareparker]

hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana��s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

[jayflrt]

HELP btw if u see a paragraph u wrote in my responses..... it's bc i have the Worst memory ever and copy and paste what you say so i can respond to it 😭😭😭 (i noticed i left one in my last ask PLS)

it's 3 credit hours a class! so i am pretty close, yeah, i think i'm going in to whichever school i accept as a second semester sophomore.

oh god walking to school is impossible for me </3 like my current school is 5 min away by car but i'd have to walk on a busy road that crosses the whole city and eventually feeds into interstate and highway stuff, and there's no sidewalk. me when i would Die p

you were their first customer omg so true. but now you have better emojis... so... speaking of emojis i need to download the new update bc i keep seeing these mf Boxes everywhere and i feel like im missing out

all of my work is online, yeah!! just my one "high school" class in person, but it's AP. it's how i get my cardio in too... walkin up the stairs to class... walkin down them. that's it. nothing else. my mom drives me to campus because i absolutely hate driving

omg i have not used the $100 for the top up crystals yet BUT it is very tempting especially with the bonus :'') i just wish the top up shop reset the bonus thing every banner or two ,, i feel like mihoyo would make so much more money doing so right ??? i just hope i get kazuha 🥰

i only did it for the bonus,, i need my guaranteed kazu and got my guaranteed ganyu (qiqi rlly loves me. she comes home at like. 20 pity consistently)

level up ur yanfei!!! she's so good. i just got a lost prayer for her and i need to work on getting her 80/90 so she can hit big boy numbers

literally ALL of my chars except ganyu and xiao are lowkey awful because i've farmed for them the most, since they're my two dps. like my keqing is phys and i've been meaning to make her electro but she's worse than my phys kaeya rn 😭😭😭bc of artifact luck

oh god my first stuff on tumblr on this blog is SO tempting to delete but it's also like a nice lil time capsule of my growth so i dont wanna get rid of it, yk?

and ao3 definitely has gone downhill, especially now that there's kpop there? i feel like its prime was when everyone wrote for books or tv shows and broke au compliance and just went wild and had sm fun

nctblr dreamies solo stans smh... i say being ot7 dream stan and listening to/watching them more than 127 and wayv....

jaemin is a good choice!!!! his glitch mode teasers had me going INSANE lich rally he looks so pretty in brown hair it's my favorite on him

yeah i get attached to my chars too, especially since i like using my own life to inspire their motivations sometimes? like a fic im writing for my sideblog rn, the reader goes to the same beach house every year and has watched the town be gentrified and become touristy and lowkey hates going bc it's the same old same old and not as fun when you get older and want independence, which is how i feel a lot of the time when my family goes. like the beach is beautiful but there is only So Much u can do at the beach.

a lot of my anons are from 2020-2021 and deleted tumblr ,,, like a lot of the long fic enjoyers are gone since i feel like a lot of people only read long fics from people they already follow or ones that have smut, so i can't rlly grow from them? since yk. minor. not writing smut. and my following is mostly inactive/deleted the app or something

i'm hoping my pjo series gets love :( i posted my masterlist for it and it's got like 20 notes, but a few people reblogged it saying they were excited which was nice.

my jay fic on my sideblog is like 5k,, which given, isn't that long (i'm awful at doing more than 10k. i fall apart and get rlly lazy LMAOO) and has around 170 i think? and my blog there has less than 100 so it's rlly nice to get the love i used to get when i first started seoulbinz

also how does one 👉👈become mutuals with you... perhaps i love you

HAHAH i noticed the paragraph i wrote and was going to ask but i assumed you were copy and pasting it for reference 🤧 i have to use two devices for long asks so i can read it on one device and then reply on the other LMAOAO it's usually me reading off my laptop and typing on my phone :'') good luck with your college admissions tho !! it's definitely a scary season omg i remember going through it + watching all my friends go through it. watching my friend turn down harvard was very humbling LMAOAOA  

oh my gosh right??? 😰 i must be out of shape because i'm panting when i get to school HAHAH it's like a 30 minute walk and quite a bit of it is uphill so i dread it so much <//3 it's enough having to attend .. 🤮 class. now i have to get my cardio in while doing so 👎 it's just annoying because my classes from 9 am to 2 pm are virtual synchronous and then my 2-4 is in person so i have to make a run for school somewhere between that 🏃‍♂️ do you take the bus then?? :o i did that all the time in high school but was notorious for missing it like 3-4 times a week so i would end up taking an uber 💀 also HAHAH omg the emojis don't show up on my macbook so i can relate to your struggles when i'm using my laptop :'') 

i would do it for the bonus too ITS SUCH A GOOD DEAL but im hesitant because that bonus is only a one-time thing (until it resets) but they've only reset the top-up once 😭 PLSS I WANT QIQI WHERES MY QIQI actually i wanted qiqi since i started playing genshin bc my friend enqi's nickname is qiqi and i just wanted to mess with her LOLL

yanfei is an absolute tank i love her 😌 she hit a 70k without food buffs the other day and i was geeking over her <33 im not trying to actively beat my purveyor of punishment record but i would Like to see some improvement 🥲 HAHAH i understand omg i farmed the most for yanfei, keqing, ganyu, xiao, jean, and xiangling so everyone else is lacking 🤧 even zhongli who's on my main team LOL 

ooh i understand that !! it's really nice documenting how much you've written and how your writing's developed and progressed 💗 and yes ao3 was definitely at its prime years back HAHAH i loved the anime community so much there <33 

omg same LOLL i got into dream first so i think that's why i lean towards them more ?? i love them all but i can just never get tired of dream 🥰 and i'm surprised that jaemin's been my ult for so long tbh HAHAH before him it was yoongi so tbh i guess the loyalty stuck after i became an nctzen 💖 and same!!! i honestly cant choose which hairstyle of his is my fav but he's so gorgeous with the light brown hair ☹️💓

omg honestly i kind of hate the beach HAHAH it's probably bc im just afraid of open ocean/sea so i can appreciate the beach from a distance but i dont like going in the water <//3 how much do you guys go to the beach tho ?? :o but i can relate with using real life experiences i feel like i draw a Lot of experience from things that have happened in my life 💕

omg yeahhh there is a stronger emphasis on smut when it comes to long fics. i don't mind it as long as the story is good but obviously im an adult so i'm speaking from a different perspective HAHAH but im sure your pjo series will !! 💖 bc first of all !! pjo !!!! 🤩 i'm glad you're liking writing on your sideblog tho !! what made you decide to write on there instead of your main? :o also omg i feel like i reach higher word counts when i set my expectations low LMFAO like for my fic teaser i estimated that i'd write around 7-8k and it wound up being 16k💔 also i actually dont have many mutuals HAHAH tbh i don't feel like it's necessary for me to have mutuals when i can talk to everyone either way,, but yk the whole recent events with the plagiarism and ppl lying about their identity and other messes has made my trust issues spike :p but thank you for the love !! im honored 🥺

[georgeinamerc]

Okay so the first paper (done, submitted early, holy shit that’s my first thing I’ve ever submitted as a post grad) was on collaborative governance applied examples and now. I’ve got another paper…that I thought was due Monday…but two different places say it’s due Friday…but part of the syllabus says it’s due Monday….SO WHICH IS IT I emailed my teacher and they just haven’t replied :/// idk what to do

Okay how late do you stay up tho 👀👀 I assume pretty late but that’s me so like I’m up at 1 am and then not conscious again until 11 am LMAOOO so like. 2 pm for me is 10 pm for you, etc etc lmk what time you want to be up Lmao 😂

I can’t believe you made me read “George’s ass print” with my own two eyes alslkdkdkd you’re right tho I like the black suits although the white suits in the black cars SLAPPED and you can’t tell me otherwiseee

ALSO I CANT BELIEVE YOU COME ON HERE JUST FOR ME IM HONORED 🥺💕❤️💕🥰 ILYSM

-JC

HIIII

Yay for submitting your first paper!!🥳🥳 And good luck on your next one!! Hope the mixup got sorted out!! I, personally, get very annoyed when things like these are not crystal clear... but that's the life for us students ig </3

Yeah you assume right lmaoo😭 Now that i'm still in the gap between the 2 semesters i stay up until like 4am (Idk why but i physically can't sleep earlier than that). So like i'm definitely cool with 2/10 pm (but u may be an afternoon sleeper or sth in which case idk what to tell you hahah). Just know that i'm available all day except 4-10am :) ❤️❤️

JHGFEHGHJKEGHE I MEAN IT'S TRUE BESTIE!! But didn't merc always have black suits w the black car?? No??

I REALLY DO (i've just been slacking A LOT idk why, i've been going out to catch up w friends and stuff but i've also just been very shit mentally- yes again bjhgrgfkhg i don't know what to tell you really😭)

BUT I LOVE YOU TOO BESTIE<33 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING GOOD💞💞

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 01X01: “Pilot”

I’‘“cI personally believe (and know) that I have a bit of an issue with not knowing how much to share about myself, but I figured I’d tell y’all a bit about my history with the SPN Rewatch experience.

I actually participated in last year’s SPN Rewatch and had a lot of fun with it! I had originally wanted to liveblog it on here but chickened out at the last moment and ended up liveblogging it (so to speak) in my journals. When Hurricane Harvey hit, the Rewatch was the thing that kept me going and gave me a sense of stability.

I’m more than happy and excited to be doing this all over again, with the added bonus of liveblogging here on my blog! I’ve got a good chunk of time on my hands and I figured it would be good character development for me to do this publicly, so without further ado, here is my liveblogging of S1EP1 “Pilot”.

Lawrence, Kansas. 22 years ago. 

“Come on, let’s say good night to your brother.” Mary’s first words on the show.

“’Night, Sam.” Dean’s first words.

“Hey Dean.” John’s first words.

They seemed like such a normal, happy, loving family. *cries*

I think the show does a great job of setting up Mary as a regular housewife and the Winchesters as an ordinary family; it made me believe at very first viewing that what happened to them next was just an unfortunate stroke of luck, as opposed to something that was in the works and destined for them for years, hell, decades.

(I’m noticing old, vintage wedding photos. Are they the wedding photos of John and Mary’s parents?)

“Sammy? Sammy!” Mary’s last words.

And there’s the scream of horror.

Oh, jesus christ. Nothing prepared me for that death and even now my stomach turns seeing Mary on the ceiling like that. RIP Mary Winchester.

“Take your brother outside as fast as you can and don’t look back! Now Dean, go!”

(Little baby Sammy was so cute.)

Our first (silent) title card!

Enter Jess. “Sam! get a move on! We were supposed to be there like 15 minutes ago. Are you coming or what?”

I don’t know the exact details of the night Sam left for Stanford (besides the blow out fight between Sam and John) but at some point Sam packed the photo of his parents and he has it out on display in his apartment. That’s incredibly sweet.

THERE’S OUR SAMMY! 

Proud girlfriend Jess leads a toast to Sam and his LSAT score. (174!)

There’s a notable concern in Jess’ eyes when Sam tells them that his family doesn’t know about his stunning achievement. Did she ever ask about Sam’s family or did she ever plan to ask about them?? She seems like the type to let things go if someone asked her to, but eventually it had to be worrying her...like here.

“I’m proud of you. And you’re gonna knock ‘em dead on Monday and you’re gonna get that full ride. I know it.”

“What would I do without you?”

“Crash and burn.”

*screams in foreshadowing*

Jess was such a good and supportive girlfriend. Sensing that Sam didn’t have a good upbringing/home life, she really goes the extra mile to show her support for him, which I’m sure Sam deeply appreciated.

And there's my beloved Dean!

AWWW THOSE BABY VOICES.

Ah so, Jess knew Sam had a brother.

LMAO @ Sam for pulling the “Whatever you have to say to me, you can say it in front of her” card.

THEN he tries to fucking be a smartass when Dean tries to put it delicately. (”Dad hasn’t been home in a couple of days.”)

And finally, there’s the backfiring on Sam’s part when Dean says the now famous (and later paralleled) line:

I can see the Lucifer/Michael parallels as early as right here: Sam, rebellious and angry at the absent father vs Dean, dutiful and loyal to the absent father.

“You think mom would have wanted this for us?”

No, Sammy, she did not.

“I can’t do this alone.”

“Yeah, you can.”

“Yeah...well i don’t want to.”

Still true to this day.

The Impala’s arsenal! Still so awesome.

“Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself?”

On first viewing, I immediately thought, “Dude, he looks old enough to be on his own” just as Dean said:

“I’m 26, dude.”

and that’s the exact moment I claimed him as my favorite.

Wow, 3 weeks? No wonder Dean was worried.

WHOA how did Sam have THAT KIND OF BLADE WITH HIM??

“Hey, everything’s gonna be ok. I promise.” Sam’s last words to Jess. Oh jesus, why.

I got fucking jumpscared by the show, goddamn it.

Welp, RIP Troy. I’d feel worse for him if he hadn’t tried to cheat on his girlfriend.

Real rich of Sam ragging on Dean about the credit card scams, when about 9 years later (S10) he offers to teach Claire about the very same thing. That’s A+ character development coming up.

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.”  

(I think this is Dean’s first “Sammy” of the show, no?)

agH Netflix still hasn’t got the right music for this season. No AC/DC for me here. :(

I love seeing Sam’s ~shocked~ face at all the fake ids. What an innocent baby.

Posing as federal Marshals.

“You two are a little young for marshals, aren’t you?”

“Thanks, that’s awfully kind of you.”

LMAOO. I wish I can brush shit off like that. #goals.

That accurate display of sibling culture: 

Now posing as Troy’s uncles. (Really? Uncles?)

Sam and Dean: “What do they talk about?” (That synch up!!!)

The first scene Jensen and Jared filmed together: the library research scene. :’)

1981. Constance Welch, 24 y.o, jumps off a bridge. An hour before the suicide she called 911 to report that her kids were dead in the bathtub. “Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it," said husband Joseph Welch.”

At the crime scene. A bro fight is a-brewin’.

“Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back.”

Them’s fightin’ words!

Wait about 11 years on that, Sam.

Dean is loyal to both absent parents.

And Sam didn’t even apologize for that! Dude, wth. (Tho Dean didn’t apologize for slamming him into the bridge, so I guess its even.)

There’s Constance.

“Who’s driving your car?”

*Dean holds up car keys*

lmao.

How fucking athletic of Sam to hold onto the side of the bridge, hot damn.

Then there’s poor Dean covered in mud.

“That Constance chick, what a BITCH.”

“You smell like a toilet.”

Sam picking his first lock on the show.

Just noticed that John had an area on the wall dedicated to “Deals and Demons”. ohohoho, hoo boy.

Monster of the Episode: Woman in white (Constance Welch.)

Oh there we go, Sam’s apologizing for what he said on the bridge.

“Hey, no chick flick moments.”

“All right, jerk.”

“Bitch.”

John had a photo of him and the boys. :’)

Oh, Sam’s listening to a voicemail left by Jess.

Welp, cops. 

“So come home soon, okay? I love you.” Jess’ last words to Sam.

“So. Fake US Marshal. Fake credit cards. You got anything that's real?”

“My boobs.”

I fucking love S1!Dean. What a babe.

Dean, er, “Ted Nugent” is in “real trouble” here.

John’s journal. Unceremoniously dumped on the table in front of Dean.

“DEAN 35-111″

Joseph Welch.

Sam, now posing as a reporter.

Sam taking a plunge and telling Joseph about the Woman in White. 

Welp, he got kicked out but he got the info he needed.

Out goes Dean, courtesy of Sam’s fake 911 call as a distraction.

“I’m taking you home.” OOOHHHH THAT ONE LINER THOO

Aaand he drives the Impala into the house. 

Creepy ghost children. 

Oh good lord. RIP Constance Welch, again and permanently.

They are the absolute cutest :)

Blackwater Ridge, Colorado.

Aww Dean. He got so used to having Sam around. :(

“I’ll take you home.”  Makes me sad that S1!Sam’s “home” was a place without Dean and Dean knew it.

“You know, we made a hell of a team back there.”

Dean’s goodbye, because actually saying “goodbye” would hurt too much. (Or maybe he was trying to plant the seed of “come hunting with me” in Sam’s mind...)

Sam enters his apartment...goes into his bedroom (eating something too, maybe the cookies Jess was baking?)

And there it is. RIP Jessica Moore, died the exact same day and way that Mary died.

Ugh god, that instance when Dean looks up and sees Jess on the ceiling. That one tiny moment of shock, horror, and realization that that’s how his mother died too. Jesus, Jensen’s a good actor.

And then it’s straight to saving Sam.

One brother pulling the other brother away from his lover to save his life, at the cost of leaving the brother’s loved one behind. Totally won’t be repeated later on in the series...

Dean doesn’t even know what to say to Sam. I don’t blame him.

OOHHHH!!!!!!

And that’s the Pilot. One of my favorite Pilots of any of the tv shows that I watch, and a pretty good episode for Supernatural. I love revisiting the baby faces and voices of the brothers, and I love pointing out all the things that are gonna change for the brothers in upcoming seasons (from Sam’s disdain of credit card scams to Mary “not coming back”).  Overall, an A+ episode for me.

[jejublr]

Home

A/N: A Dad!Seungcheol fic requested by @aesthedick-cheol! The day Seungcheol becomes a father will be the day I am finally complete. Bless and good luck to his future spouse lmaoo. Also, sorry I couldn’t think of a better title.. I’m sorry if this came out bad! Constructive criticism is always welcome on my blog so please if you have something to say! Anyways, thank you so much for requesting and I hope you all enjoy <3<3

Genre: Fluff

Character(s): Seungcheol x Reader

“What do you think about kids?”

You and your boyfriend Seungcheol were sitting on a park bench, your head tucked in his shoulder, his arm around you as you watch a young family playing about on the grass. The giggles of a toddler echoed through the trees as the father chased him around.

It was one of the days Seungcheol could take the day off and today he chose to spend it with you. You had decided to go to the park on a whim, seeing that the weather was bound to be nice enough to spend the day out that day.

The weather was gorgeous, the sky streaked with pinks and purples as the day was coming to an end. The days had grew warmer as Spring gave way to Summer. The cool gentle breeze made you snuggle closer into the warmth that is your boyfriend.

You were taken off guard by the question and you looked up to see your boyfriend watching the scene before him with a fond smile. It wasn’t a secret that Seungcheol has a deep fondness towards children. He said it himself once that he wanted to have a big family one day.

“They’re pretty cute..” you started “I mean, they’re great but that also means you’d have to get up early and pay for tuition.”

You both laughed at that.

“Do you want kids one day?” he asked.

“Hmm, maybe? I think so..” you mumbled in reply.

You never really thought of it. You never really thought much about getting married before, let along having kids. But Seungcheol’s did question make you take a step back and think. You couldn’t help but blush as the image of Seungcheol playing around with your own children flashed in your mind.

“If you have kids, how many do you want?” he asked.

“Maybe three?? So the oldest can take care of the younger ones and the youngest can tease the older ones,” you let out a small laugh at thought of it.

“Three sounds good,” he chuckled in agreement.

You laughed and poked his side “Hey mister, what made you ask?”

He looked at you with a smile on his face, his eyes crinkling on the edges “Ahh, I don’t know.. I just want children of my own one day.. And now that I got you..” he tickled you on your side as you squealed.

“Cheol!” you squeaked, giggling. He laughed and kissed you on the cheek.

“I just thought you’d be a great mom one day,” he said. “I mean, imagine: our kids would get my good looks and long lashes and your personality.”

“Hey!” you smacked in in the chest. His laughter rang out, the kind where his gums shows and the sight of it melts your heart.

You smirked at him “How many kids do you want someday?”

“Ten” he quipped. You gasped and hit him in the arm.

“Cheol!”

You can’t believe your baby kicked to Nicki Minaj.

It was one of the days you felt cooped up just staying at home all day. Since you’ve taken your maternity leave,

So you begged Seungcheol to take you to their practice today to observe. At first he had denied your request, saying you shouldn’t get too tired but with enough puppy eyes and aegyo, Seungcheol’s resistance broke and so here you are sitting on the sidelines and watch the boys practice.

It just so happens when the hiphop team played Nicki Minaj on the speakers during one of their breaks when you feel your baby kick. You let out a startled gasp and Seungcheol was right beside you in a second. “What’s wrong, babe?! Are you okay?? Is the baby okay?? What happened??”

By this time, the boys have crowded around you, concerned and wondering what’s wrong. You looked up at your concerned husband with your eyes wide,”The baby kicked..”

There was a pregnant silence until the boys erupted in excited squeals and Oh my gods. Seungcheol’s face broke into a relieved smile and he finally let out the breath that he’s been holding. He gave you a quick peck on your forehead and laid his hand on your stomach

Vernon snickered “I can’t believe your baby reacted to Anaconda.”

“Oh! Oh! Try playing something else!” Mingyu called out. Vernon scrolled to his playlist and in no time, another Nicki Minaj song played, this time it’s Starship.

And so you found thirteen hands eagerly trying to get a feel on the baby’s kick. And as expected, as the beat dropped after the chorus, you could feel another kick, this time much harder than the first.

Thirteen boys jumped and made faces of astonishment at each other. Joshua and Jun were congratulating you and Seungcheol as Jeonghan grinned ear to ear. Seokmin’s eyes grew as big as saucers which reminded you of the first time Seventeen had gotten their first win. The room was filled with awe and joy and the lot of you were laughing at the hilarity of the situation.

“OH MY G O D!!” Seungkwan shouted, starring at his hand “I’m going to be a kimbap uncle!!!”

The boys laughed at that. You must’ve looked pretty disturbed at the realization that your baby reacted so much to Nicki Minaj it made them laugh even louder. Seungcheol on the other hand, has never looked so proud.

“What can I say, she has a good taste.” he joked.

Later that night, you both said goodbye to the boys in a good mood. Seungcheol couldn’t keep his hands to himself that he held your hand all the way home in the car. He helped you change, helped you brush your hair as you removed your make-up and helped you get tucked in for the night from your side of the bed.

His actions just spoke the words he didn’t say. To say he was eager was an understatement.

You were both half-asleep when his voice suddenly rang out softly “You know I will take care of you, right?”

Your eyes were heavy as you answered “I know.”

That night you fell asleep to the sound of his breathing.

It was a shame that Seunghceol wasn’t here right beside you.

Seungcheol and the boys had went to LA for the K-Con earlier in the week and are scheduled to be back two days from now. The both of you knew that he won’t probably be there when you deliver the baby but he’d promised that he would take the next flight back to Korea if anything were to happen.

So now here you are, waiting for the baby and through the waves of pain, you had decided to give Seungcheol a call. Apparently they had just finished with their event and Seungcheol was taking a break at the backstage when you told him you were in labor.

His parents from Daegu had come to take care of you while he was gone and they were the ones who brought you to the hospital when you woke up in the middle of the night when your water broke. You were whisked away to the hospital via a taxi and here you were, waiting to be dilated enough to finally push.

“Who do you think should be her godfather? Jeonghan?” The sound of car honking came through. You’re on the phone with Seungcheol as you waited and itt sounds like he’s stuck in a traffic. Your heart clenched a bit at the thought.

“Not Jeonghan.” you protested. You both had a good laugh on that one.

Seunghceol’s voice was full of mirth when he answered “Yeah, alright, not Jeonghan. I don’t want him to terrorize her like he did to Dino. ““Y/B/N, whose baby are you??””

You laughed at that and imitated in a baby voice “”Jeonghan’s baby~””

His laughter sounded a bit forced by now, as if he was trying to mask his anxiety, but the sheer sound of his voice was enough to calm you down. That’s the thing with Seungcheol; you may be separated by miles and schedules but you will always know that in the end of the day, he will be there with you. Like an anchor.

There was a silence before you spoke “Cheol.. It’s alright if you can’t be here with me, right now, at this moment.. I just want you to be here safely..”

You didn’t expect the tears that burned your eyes because you didn’t expected anything more from him. All that you said was true and you weren’t lying to yourself. You really hope that he would come back home to you safely. That’s all.

Because isn’t that what love is? Being selfless? You knew how much he wants to be here, as much as you do. You knew things will get in the way between the both of you but you’ve always worked it out.

And now you just want Seungcheol to come safely. To meet his daughter. His beautiful baby daughter. Seungcheol must’ve sensed the tears in your voice and his voice came through softly “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you..”

“No, Cheol, this is enough..” you sighed, your breath stuttering.

“You’re enough..”

You both talked and talked until it’s finally time for you to push the baby and you said your goodbyes as the doctor came. Seungcheol promised everything will be alright and told you he loved you.

You felt as if he was with you all the time.

Seungcheol arrived at the break of dawn. By this time, you were fast asleep and your baby was dozing off in her incubator next to your bed. She was born at sunset and was declared perfectly healthy by the doctors.

And she’s beautiful. Absolutely stunning.

While she has your complexion and your smile, she has his father’s dark hair and big, expressive eyes and yes, his lashes, too. You had cried the first time you held her in your arms.

Seungcheol crept into the dark room slowly, as to not wake you up. He went to your bedside and planted a soft kiss on your forehead. You stirred in your sleep and through your sleepy haze, you looked up to face him.

You felt a smile break on your exhausted face. “Hey” you croaked. 

“Hey” he whispered, kissing you once more, this time on the lips. You can feel his longing pour into that one single action. When you broke it, you saw his eyes glance at the incubator.

“Is that…her?” “Yeah.”

“Can I meet her?” “Of course.”

Seungcheol went around the bedside and went to pick up your daughter. She grumbled and frowned in her sleep but found peace when Seungcheol finally held her. He began to rock her softly and you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell at the sight. 

Seungcheol was really made to be a dad.

His gaze was soft and full of adoration as he looked upon his newborn daughter and at that moment you knew Seungcheol fell hard and deep and your daughter has his dad wrapped around her little fingers just like that.

“Y/B/N… I’m your dad…” you hear his voice whisper, “Y/B/N.. Welcome to this world.. Your mom and I are going to take a good care of you.. We love you so much..”

The lights from outside filtered through the shutters and casted a soft light on Seungcheol as his voice echoed through the darkness of the room in a soft lullaby. And at that moment, everything was perfect.

The boys came back two days later and decided to pay you and the baby a visit before you were discharged.

To say that the room got much, much more livelier was an understatement because thirteen loud grown men surrounded your baby like a moth drawn to a light. Joshua and Seungkwan especially took an extra liking towards the baby, cooing at her and getting excited whenever the baby’s tiny digits squeezed their finger. Seungcheol looked worried and exasperated every time the boys passes the baby between them but you know they would never do any harm to her.

Just like her father, her twelve uncles’s hearts were snatched with just a glance at her glossy obsidian eyes and rosy cheeks. You just knew she’s going to be as much as a heartbreaker as her father one day.

Later in the evening, you brought your newborn home for the first time. Your in-laws had gone back to Daegu and the house was quite when you both arrived, this time with your little bundle of joy. 

Y/B/N has been a pretty quite and demure baby so far, only crying when hungry and you couldn’t be more thankful for that. As you set her in her crib in the nursery, you got reminded of months ago when Seungcheol had went out of his way to paint the nursery himself. You, who was only four months into your pregnancy wasn’t even given a chance to touch the paints as he didn’t want you to get tired. Looking around, you could tell he had done an excellent job.

The walls are painted a soft blue, with white accents. The smell of paint was long gone, now overpowered by the lavender smell from the scented candles you bought not long ago. The white shelves were littered with soft toys and children’s book, for when your baby is a little bit older and the hanging toys hanging above the crib played a soft lullaby that’s slowly lulling your daughter into slumber.

You felt a strong familiar pair of arms circle your waist from behind as you looked over the angel thats you child. Seungcheol’s lips descended on your neck, a ghost of a smile on them as his warm breath fanned along you jaw.

“She’s beautiful,” he stated. You leaned into his embrace, your eyes closed.

“She is.”

His hold on you became tighter,”Y/N.. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful family…”

You didn’t say anything. You didn’t have to. Because you both know that you love him, as much as he loved you, and with the arrival of your daughter, you knew that love just grew. 

So in the silent room, save for the lullaby playing in the background, with you encased in your husband’s loving arms and your child sleeping soundly in her baby crib, you found solace.

You found home.

[keii]

I worked all day preparing for this presentation for my last English class today. I was getting frustrated because I was confident on the material, but every time I practiced it in front of my bf, I just couldn’t get the flow right because I kept thinking too much about it. I was like “fuck it” and when I drove to campus, I saw my professor walk back to his car. I said hi and he told me, “Go home.” I thought it was because I did something wrong, but it was actually because all the doors to our classroom building was locked for some reason??? So we had no way of getting in and none of his superiors were responding to his messages nor was maintenance responding lmaoo, so he just told me to go home, and yeah, that was my day 8)))

Not only that, but on Sunday night, I worked for 6 hours on my religious paper, which was only 5 pages long, but I kept procrastinating, so all the research and writing were done that night. In addition to that, I was on a group skype call while one of my friend’s were streaming, so I was also talking to her, and her friends, while also helping her entertain her viewers during her stream LMAO. It was probably one of the crappiest papers I’ve ever written because of how unconfident I was about the subject despite all the research I did... I got my grade back yesterday for that paper and I somehow managed to get an A on it. I told my friend that she was my good luck charm haha so that brought my grade back up to an A so I was happy.

[defini-te]

all of the vaguely nsfw asks?/ >:))

Thank you anon >:’D

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Yes, but not more important than personality. A decent looking guy can become attractive to me, but no amount of personality will make me attracted to someone I can’t find remotely attractive :/2. Are relationships ever worth it? With the right people I believe so3. Are you a virgin? No4. Are you in a relationship? I think so 5. Are you in love? no (not yet I suppose)6. Are you single this year? no lmao7. Can you commit to one person? yeah8. Describe your crush. a human male with arms and legs. And some beautiful eyes. 9. Describe your perfect mate. Someone I can have fun with, trust and be comfortable being myself and honest with. Someone that can help me be a better person but also someone I can help in the same way. Also physically attractive to me and finds me attractive.10. Do you believe in love at first sight? No lmao11. Do you ever want to get married? Sure…no hurry though.12. Do you forgive betrayal? If they’re sincerely sorry, never repeat it and make amends I will. Unless if it’s cheating lmao.13. Do you get jealous easily? Honestly no. I’m pretty reasonable by default.14. Do you have a crush on anyone? Well, yeah.15. Do you have any piercings? Ears only16. Do you have any tattoos? No i’m afraid of pain ._.17. Do you like kissing in public? Yes, provided it’s nothing more than a quick kiss. Forehead and cheek kisses aaaa20. Do you shower every day? yes21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I would bloody hope so22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? neh23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? yes wtf24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?  ..no25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? Well yeah.26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yeah. And look what happened lmao woops27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? no28. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.29. Have you ever cheated on someone? No. I’m not a fucking animal.30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Jawline thinning surgery, or a nose job.31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Yes. Cried once over the shock of being ghosted. Cried many times from an emotionally abusive ex.32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? No. I’d be on the other end of it more often tbh. I wouldn’t let myself love someone that doesn’t feel the same to me.33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Ye34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? noh35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Ye36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? No37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Does it count if my friends eventually started hating him?38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes. Didn’t expect to like someone with mental illness and a different socioeconomic class than me. Also didn’t expect to like a charming salesman that approached me either. WOOPS.39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? No40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? I’m about as artistic as a brick wall, so no.41. Have you had sex so far this year? Yes :)42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? like 3 seconds.43. How long was your longest relationship? 1 year 2 months. Pity it was a toxic one.44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 445. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? Just 1. Oh the joys of high school infatuation.46. How many times did you have sex last year? many to be honest.47. How old are you? 1948. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Thought you really seemed to like me. Thanks for being honest about it, bye.49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Hard to pin point one thing at this stage. I’d say fun to be around and seems genuine and affectionate.50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? NO. BYE BITCH. It’s more likely he’d knock on my door with incessant talking and logical fallacies.51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Myself lol52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? My most recent ex. I’m sure he could have gotten better, but the damage of the past is done. My feelings for him are completely gone to the point where I cannot stand the tiniest sliver of his presence. Therefore, there’s no way I could stay with him and have the patience to wait for him to improve.

That’s just the thing, isn’t it. Our relationship constantly had a power imbalance that would tip from one side to the other, never balancing in the middle.

Another reason I gave up was when I realised we both deserved better, and I couldn’t feel comfortable being honest with him and too used to hiding things and lying to him.53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Nope54. Is there someone you will never forget? Yeah I think so. Not in a good way.55. Share a relationship story. Uhmm we went from google imaging photos of expensive cars because I didn’t know what a Bugatti was, to scrolling through photos of horses for 5 minutes and making comments on them.56. State 8 facts about your body. I’m 5′2/1.58cm, my second toe is longer than my big toe, I can twitch my ears, I can roll my tongue sideways, I look younger than I am, my hands are always cold, I can place my hands flat on the floor without bending my knees, I have resting bitch face.

57. Things you want to say to an ex. Good luck with life. Don’t talk to me or see what I’m doing with mine.58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. Make me laugh abruptly and unexpectedly.

2. Listen to what I say and respect my intelligence and agency.

3. inspire me to actually improve in any way.

4. Be attentive and genuinely enjoy spending time with me.

5. Intend to stick with me, and make that obvious to me.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) if you want one that badly pm me or something.60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 7 years 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Their general demeanour and how they carry themselves. I would’ve said their looks but I’ve realised I don’t aggressively scope them out first thing due to shyness.62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Oh man, I’m not too sure. I’d say a lot of sensual touching would be involved and dirty or sweet talk whispering.63. What is your definition of “having sex”? Bumping your genitals together LMAO64. What is your definition of cheating?

Physical cheating - Any physical contact with sexual intent, including sexting, with someone you’re not in a relationship with, and without their permission.

Emotional cheating - Having romantic feelings or strong attachment for someone you’re not in a relationship with, and not doing anything to control them.65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? Making out, touching, I guess.  Lel.66. What is your favourite roleplay? idk67. What is your idea of the perfect date? I have many. A night in where we watch movies, cuddle and cook something together. Or we go somewhere scenic and watch the sunset/star gaze. 68. What is your sexual orientation? Straight69. What turns you off? Lack of initiative, arrogance, possessiveness, excessive awkwardness, clingyness/neediness, extremely loud voice, sense of entitlement, bad oral hygiene (or hygiene in general), inattentive, very untidy, passive aggressiveness.70. What turns you on? Initiative, respectful, smells nice, sense of humour, consideration, affectionate/sensual, honesty, kindness, appreciative, intelligence.71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? uhm idk.72. What words do you like to hear during sex? henlo u wan sum fuk73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? I low-key fantasised about someone buying me a new e-reader. Not because they’re just buying me a new device, but about the sentiment behind it. They’d know how much I enjoyed reading and wish to encourage me to pursue it once more. They’d know that reading off a computer screen saps my concentration and I prefer to find my books electronically and online.

there’s another reason I’d find it particularly touching, and it’s not something I would tell them. My controlling ex didn’t let me read and uninstalled the program I used for reading off MY computer without telling me. So if a better boyfriend did the opposite and encouraged me to read, and wanted to see me enjoy things I’d probably fall in love with him right there.

But this is a tad bit idealistic, so I’m not expecting.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? Nice arms? Handsome face? IDK75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Take care of me when I was sick.76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? Take care of them when they had a mental breakdown. 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? If you’re on the same page and can work together, who am I to judge.78. What’s your dirtiest secret? Apparently I’m good at blowjobs o//o Thought I was average at best, i’m still shook.79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? When I was with my ex, probably just him hanging around that dumb bitch and trying new things with her. Why did I even put up with that lmao.80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? I don’t remember.81. Who are five people you find attractive? Me, myself, Moi, I, and shrek.82. Who is the last person you hugged? My mother.83. Who was your first kiss with? With a boy I met off a friend when we were 15. He’s studying dentistry now lmaoo84. Why did your last relationship fail? Controlling behaviour, cheating, isolation, me being sick of his manipulative bullshit and wanting to do normal things without fucking consulting him first. Also I didn’t take initiative or put as much effort because I felt like nothing I’d do would make a difference, and that he’d tell me what to do anyway so why act.85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? If I’m able to meet them regularly, yeah why not.

[eastla626architect]

i’m sorry i was being weird yesterday. i thought you were ignoring me and i was surprised when you hit me up. text me when you’re in town. 

i wasn’t ignoring you! sorry if it seemed that way 

yeah i was confused i’m not good at communicating either 

me too that’s something i’m trying to work on 

what days are you in town for?

i’m coming the 17th for a week or two? i got a one way see you then? 

yeah you’ll see me. i’m going back to new york in august haven’t booked my ticket yet. where are you staying when you out here

soooo my homie got an airbnb on fairfax idk the cross road though. are you gonna be going back to upsate or are you coming back to the cityV

the city so i’ll work remotely for some time : ) did you rent a car. i’m bad at driving. 

nice :) 

i didnt, i don’t have a license lmao 

what!!!!!!!!

but i CAN drive. i’m getting it this summer!!

you’re from maryland i thought u had a license LMAO

lmfaoo  yeah i know don’t remind me! long story

lmao i’ll give u mine 

perfect that’ll fool them 

i don’t wanna drive i have driving anxiety but i love cars 

do you have a car?

maybe i’ll uber :p lol no : ( 

uber to meeeeeee

some girl hit my moms bumper when i was driving in ktown and i’ve been anxious ever since *tear*

was it bad?

no lol it was a bump but still!!!!!!!!!!! lmfao 

why did you decide to come 

laughing emojis : ) : ) : ) : ) 

i feel it 

when i first started driving i would drive my friends car and i was soooo anxious because if i crashed their car i would be so fucked 

random trip w the homies ;) might get a tattoo out there bc no one is open in NY 

in my opinion the shops are better out here

take me to a good one 

lolol idk any near fairfax but we will find one : ) hope you’re ready to walk the sprawl is crazy out here 

wym?

everything so spread out soooo it’s not easy to get around w/o a car heh but we’ll find a way 

girl i know this isn’t my first time in LA 

lmaooooooo *laughs* just checking

i wish the swap meets were open you need to go to one one day 

hopefully my homie would let me drive his car 

oh then u can scoop me :) 

i wanna scoop u and take you anywhere u want

good that’s what i like to hear 

ima go swimming rn i’m going to try and do 10 laps today wish me luck 

wow i miss swimming so much make sure ur flip turns are tight! 

i can’t freaking flip lmao i can barely do a cartwheel 

smh do better is all i ask 

lmao i’ll try sheesh hahaha <3 <3 : ) 

lmaoo good luck though have fun n be safe i’m on my way to a cookout