#but yeah the way my family is we make weird jokes it's hard to explain

[rosesradio]

you want your white dad to say “you slammed your penis into the wrong car door” ??

oh absolutely. i can't be the only one saying "penis" in the house

[tobbesdiscordkitten]

do you feel like axl still has a *small* chance of being a dad? it’s a weird question, but i saw how a lot of ur followers love axl (like me too, heyyy) and I thought that part of his life

obviously he’s older now, but there’s a handful of celebrities who’ve had children later. maybe he’s content w/ his life but a small part of me wishes he had that chance like his bandmates. wonder what they could’ve looked like for him lol

Hey! I’m so glad we have another Axl lover here ^.^

If Axl can get a woman pregnant now and have her carry his child then he’ll succeed in having that small chance come true lol.

Nah, all jokes aside, I totally get where you’re coming from, anon. I often think about how unfair it was for Axl to not have children of his own. He’s been through hell and back in life, he at least deserved to have kids. I’m not a religious person, but something in the universe forbade him from having that. Whatever the reason could be, I’m not sure, but I still think it’s unjust.

The closest thing Axl got to having his own family was being with the Lebeis family - Beta and Fernando - after his breakup with Stephanie Seymour.

In an interview conducted in the early 2000s, Beta explains, “according to [Axl], I am the mother he never had. He was impressed by the way I raise my children, the concern…He never had that. He calls me Beta and, sometimes, mama. I always make food and take it to the studio, I make pies, cakes…I call before the show to wish them good luck. I light candles for them. It’s like I am the mom of the whole band.” Fernando, Beta’s son, is the current manager of GNR, and has the same responsibilities that Alan Niven used to have back in the day.

While this wasn’t the exact outcome Axl expected in his life, he still received a tight-knit family he can call his own. Whenever he talks about it in interviews, he sounds content about the whole thing. If he’s happy about it, then I am, too. There’s no point in moping over him not having his own children when he has Beta and Fernando lol.

In 1989, Rock Scene asked Axl, “Would [you] make a good father?” Axl replied:

Um…not yet. I love kids, but I think I would be too hard on them because…A lot of people say that when they’re raised a certain way, “I’ll never be like that with my children,” but then those things seem to come out, whether you want them to or not, ‘cause that’s how you were taught to raise a kid. And I’m still wrestling with those things, and until I come to terms with them and feel like I could give a child the upbringing that it would deserve, I don’t want to attempt it.

Like I’ve said before, I’m so much of a perfectionist I don’t want to attempt it and end up smacking it when I shouldn’t have, or something. I don’t want to give a child anything bad to look back on except for what may have happened in just the natural course of life. I don’t want to be in the situation of, “Yeah, well if I wouldn’t have locked him in his room…” You see, I get along with my father real well now. Actually, he’s my stepfather, but he raised me. But I see some of the pain that he has to go through in dealing with the way he raised me, and the pain that I have to deal with in getting along with my father, and thinking back on certain things that happened every now and then, and how mad I get. I don’t want those things to happen.

I know this was a few years before he invested into regression therapy, but he thought about the idea of him having his own children, similarly to how the fandom questions, what would it have been like if Axl had kids?

Going back to Beta, Axl was adopted into her family, and they have been inseparable. She will always support and take care of him.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

here have a medley of miscellaneous timeskip pro team headcanons bc WOW i haven't posted in a while and this is my only stress outlet other than binging new series <3333

starting off strong with ejp raijin LET'S GOOOOOO

washio 🫱🏼‍🫲🏼suna 🫱🏼‍🫲🏼komori: being EXHAUSTED from carrying the pro team world on their backs

no no i'm kidding. mostly

they keep a tally of other pro team matches in which their former teammates go up against each other and are REALLY smug if their respective teammate wins. which means you get shit like this

komori, cheerfully: "so how about that hornets v falcons game last night, huh?" suna: "oh shut UP tell iizuna tsukasa that aran-san could kick his ass any day of the week you little SHIT - "

they ARE united on the jackals front tho. all three of them want the adlers to go down HARD.

is suna nursing a grudge against ushijima from high school? yeah. is he ever going to get over it? probably not.

only komori feels bad bc he is fond of kageyama, but, hey, family's family

they ask washio why he hates the adlers and he looks them dead in the eyes and goes "hoshiumi kourai . . . he is a man that requires constant vigilance"

actually wait i know we all saw everyone watching and talking about the game (which makes me wanna cry SO bad) but god. how fucking funny would it be if players from monster gen convinced everyone else on their very professional and very mature teams to take sides

ejp raijin captain, who's been friends with hirugami fukurou for like ten years: "okay so explain to me again why we need to blow our entire team budget on jackals merch when we're not even going to the goddamn game?" komori: "well, it started on a cloudy but beautifully crisp spring day in 2012 - "

SPEAKING OF TACHIBANA RED FALCONS

hakuba joins the team, sees aran, and IMMEDIATELY starts texting the old kamomedai group chat

altho tbh i don't think there's no way that the "who-from-where-made-WHAT-pro-team" news never breaches the high school circuit. like come ON you know everyone's keeping up with the third year stars when they graduate

by the time the first years are third years they've got everyone pinned down on a fucking MAP. they have a shared file where they update each other on EVERYTHING. it's way less creepy than it sounds they're just a really passionate bunch okay!!!!

well that AND they can't help but brag about their amazing upperclassmen

okay sorry back to it. so it really goes more like

hakuba: "HOLY SHIT OJIRO ARAN FROM INARIZAKI IS HERE" suwa: "hakuba, we already knew that. i linked the article when it first dropped, remember?" hakuba: "yeah but it's still so WEIRD like it's OJIRO ARAN from INARIZAKI" hoshiumi: "lol atsumu told me he talks in his sleep, go find out if it's true"

aran actually does recognize hakuba mostly because gin paid him a compliment ONE (1) time and then aran had to listen to atsumu complain incessantly about the "stupid wall of muscle with stupid hair and his stupid height and stupid arms" ever since

ALSO. i think people get hakuba and hyakuzawa mixed up a lot. they've both got a similar height and build and hairstyle and play the same position

(not to mention the similar backstories)

it becomes a running joke throughout the pro leagues and makes for a fun time with falcons v warriors matches

in the event of a hyakuhina hookup (which i feel like actually could happen) they somehow get onto the topic of "haha it'd be even harder to tell them apart with your eyes closed!" and hinata, without thinking, goes "well, i probably could" and everyone is like "WHAT"

he digs himself an even deeper hole by saying "no, i just meant - i know hyakuzawa's body really well!!!" and everyone immediately starts screaming

poor hyakuzawa is dying on the inside

i think shibayama (MY BELOVED) kind of occasionally forgets that he also has his own fanbase and is sort of semi-famous as the libero of tokai heavy industries esperanza bc. he knows kenma and yaku and lev and komi and yamamoto and fukunaga and, in general, a bunch of people that he believes are much more well-known than he is

he's always so flattered whenever someone stops him in the street to ask for a pic or when he sees posts online gushing about him

this is extra funny bc he never talks about his friends like they're famous so all of his teammates don't really know that shibayama is friends with all these other famous people

and then one of them, an avid kodzuken fan, spams their group chat when kodzuken's newest video is released and shibayama shows up in it

they're like "SHIBAYAMA!! HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD US THAT YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH KODZUKEN??" and shibayama is like "i have?? i talk about kenma-san all the time??" and they're like "YOU'RE TELLING ME KODZUKEN IS THE SAME KENMA-SAN WHO RIPPED HIS HIGH SCHOOL JERSEY TRYING TO JUMP OVER A FENCE???"

(shibayama's second year. they'd been dealing with things. it worked out, in the end. even if they had to lie to nekomata and naoki about why all their jerseys ended up with holes in them.)

i love the pro teams you guys they're so fucking funny

[princessconsuela120]

Chapter Four: Fall in Love with You —❃

series masterlist

Chapter warnings: cursing, passing out, mentions of pregnancy

Authors note: OOP! Me and my friend thought long and hard on where this story should go, and I've been super lost in writers block but I'm back!! Enjoy you guys, more coming soon!!!

—❃

Being back home was everything Alyssa could have asked for and more. She saw her friends, she saw her boy, she’d even seen a few of her old teachers at the store. All the things she missed were now right in her backyard. That is until an eviction notice was slipped under her aunt's door.

“Um, Aunt Kate?” Alyssa called, making her aunt call back from the other room.

“Yeah hun?” She asked, Alyssa raising her eyebrows as she read the letter that had been slipped under her door.

“What’s this?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. Get those all the time.” Kate said, brushing off the issue as she continued working on her laundry. Alyssa tilted her head, waving the note around in front of her aunt urgently.

“Kate, this is an eviction notice. You’re getting kicked out! We’re getting kicked out!” Alyssa said, her voice progressively getting louder as she got madder.

“It’s nothing sweetheart don’t worry.”

“You haven’t paid your rent?” Alyssa asked, making her aunt sigh.

“Who pays that?” She said, shaking her head, making Alyssa’s eyes widen.

“Aunt Kate!?” She yelled, feeling her stomach start to get upset at the thought of being kicked out. Which was strange, because she usually didn’t get an upset stomach.

“What?!” He aunt asked, making Alyssa sigh, shaking her head.

“I can’t, shit!”

She ran to the bathroom as fast as she could, throwing up in the toilet and emptying her stomach. 

“Fuck.” She cursed, staring down at the throw up she just emptied into the toilet. Weird…

—❃

“So she left me. And that was the end of me and Jules.” I explained, Alyssa and I were walking around the mall together. I had been explaining to her when Jules left me, and I could tell it brought back some memories for her.

“Damn. You replaced me with the new girl?” She teased, making me scoff.

“Oh please, you know I'd date you if you just asked.” I said, nudging her as she laughed.

“Wouldn’t that break bro code?”

Honestly my favorite part of my relationship with alyssa was that she was my first girl crush. I mean how could you not, she was a badass.

“What bro code?” I joked, pretending to forget the whole fezco being my family bullshit.

“You crack me up rue.” Alyssa grabbed her forehead, falling to her knees in a groan. “Oh, shit.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked, grabbing onto Alyssa’s shoulder as she slowly sank to the ground.

“Just a, just a headache.” She mumbled, tripping over her words before she fell over, passing out.

“Shit, Alyssa! Alyssa!” I yelled, desperately trying tio wake the gril up.

“I’m just gonna, gonna close my eyes.”

“No, Alyssa no. Shit. Fuck.” I began waving her hands around in panic. “Help! Someone!”

And then she blacked out, and the rest was history.

–

“Everything’s all good, your vitals are fine, the baby’s alright.” The doctor said softly, smiling kindly at Alyssa who breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank god.” She mumbled, not noticing the way I looked at the dr after hearing his words.

“I’m sorry, the baby?” I asked, a low tone in my voice as shock filled my expression.

“What?” Alyssa asked, furrowing her eyebrows as she looked at me. I pointed to the doctor, shifting my weight as I looked at her.

“He said the baby, you said the baby is alright.”

“Yes, the baby is healthy.” The doctor said again, not keying into the shock of the situation.

“What baby? My baby?!” Alyssa yelled, panic in her eyes as she now sat fully up in her hospital bed.

“Yes, your baby is healthy.” The doctor replied, earning a gulp from Alyssa in response.

“This is madness. I mean, I’m not pregnant!”

The doctor just smiled in response, ignoring the terrified look Alyssa had on her face.

“We ran a few tests, congratulations miss miller.” 

Alyssa and i shared a look as the doctor walked out, one that meant alyssa was totally fucked.

“Holy fuck…”

“Fuck rue, a baby! Fuck, a baby!” Alyssa panicked, making me sigh, shaking my head as I rubbed my forehead nervously.

“How did this happen? I mean you two haven't had sex right?...right??” I gave her a look when she didn't answer, narrowing my eyes at her as she sighed.

“We did, a few days after I came back.” She ran her hands down her face. “Fuck, i mean we used protection!” She yelled, making me snort.

“Obviously it didn't work!” I yelled in response, laughing at my response as Alyssa rolled her eyes.

“Thank you Rue, I got that on my own!” She Yelled back, making us both sigh as silence filt the room.

“What am I gonna do? What am I gonna tell fez?”

[writingforatwistedworld]

How to NOT get screwed over when getting a new job

Ok, some of you might be “Uh... Why is this on a fanfic blog? (and where is a new fic? It's coming.)” Why I am addressing this is because I know that some of you are at that age when you search for a job.

Before I start, some background info: this was my first job. My parents were always supportive of me since one of them is an immigrant who knows how hard it is if you don't have the right papers in the right country. So they agreed on helping me financially until I had graduated. You know, so I have a good chance of getting a decent paying easy job. I am no genius so they also wanted me to focus more on studying than some sort of side thing happening in my life.

Now, I am not going to say here who my employer is since I signed a paper not to share stuff about them on social media. I am not violating my contract by not saying who they are since it can not be traced back to them. (Already messed up enough that I have to say this but ok, moving on.)

The first red flag was actually already present when I signed my contract. (Crazy, right? Bad employers doing a shady job since the beginning.) So I sit there , doe eyed, singing it. The person who was the representative of the company, in my case, more or less flew over the most important things but didn't get into details. My first advice: Nope. This is not good. First red flag.

Go into detail. Ask them specifically how many hours per week can be added with or without your consent. Some companies are a bit more relaxed and allow you to choose whether you want to work longer than you signed up for or not. Now, the guy said something along the lines of “You could”. Yeah, no. I always have the long shifts and from what I can see, everyone does. We are all overworked and are in desperate need of more hands. (I am not going to be advertising them. Don't worry. They even want to cut costs by not hiring any more than the absolutely necessary minimum of workers. And they wonder why peeps go on strikes...)

The second is, he was awfully relaxed in his way of talking to me. Not in an “I'm relaxed because today is a not-so-busy day” but in a “we are friends and this is a big family”. A bit too much like he was an old friend. This had been a bit weird for me since the beginning because, well, the guy literally decides whether I am getting hired or not. Shouldn't he be a bit more, idk, professional? But I noticed sooner than later (to be exact, one week after I started working for them) that the guy was simply trying to butter me up. Not in the typical way of companies roping in workers. No. He had to do this because otherwise there wouldn't be a single reason why you would start working there.

I talked about that point with one of my friends. They have a bit more experience with finding jobs and they explained to me that such “buddy-buddy” strategies are always a red flag for them. If a company is good in what they do they don't have the need for such a thing. They have a more professional way of recruiting and whilst a joke or two might be made they are by far not mostly made out of relaxed chit-chatter.

There might be even more factors that I don't even notice being at play here. But he made me sign a contract that 1. makes me to work even longer than I signed up for on some weeks (like, way too much but I am not allowed to speak about details here) and 2. pays me less than I was promised. Heck, I even had to call the German taxing department or however you call it in English because they even put me in the wrong tax-paying class. Now, if this was a small company then ok, not cool as well but at least you could push all of that on the fact that they are so small and might even be inexperienced that they make mistakes but (and a huge reason why I don't lose a word about who they are) such a huge company? They make at least MILLIONS. This is also why I avoid getting into a fight with them. If they were to throw me in front of a judge then I wouldn't be able to keep up with them. They have so much money that they can literally buy themselves out of a situation.

I hope this helps you if you are searching for a new job or are right now on the lookout for your first one.

Stay safe and healthy! (Pardon me if I made some spelling errors. I wrote this on my phone.)

[cowboymantis]

Y'know what since it's pride month, I'll do a little random rambling about my identity, bc hell I am 22 whole years old and I am still struggling with my gender lmaoo 😭😭

But also, nowadays I think it's really funny that I took so long to properly realize I was trans and aroace

There were. So many signs. 💀

I almost dreaded to come out as trans to one of my old online friend groups, not bc I thought they were transphobic (bc we were always a heavily lgbtq group), but because I thought I took so long and now I'd have to explain myself. (Stupid I know, but my family is very transphobic, so I never got to be my true self irl, and idk if I ever will as long as my family lives, but maybe I'll be brave enough one day)

But one of the first reactions I got was just yeah I always thought you were gonna say that 😭 And us all talking AND OTHERS COMING OUT TOO it was just such a weight lifted from my shoulders, it was so great.

Because of my family, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about my gender, if I feel more nonbinary or male, it's more something in-between, but more towards male,, but that's why I just feel most comfortable without a label, I'm just me and I'm here 🛌

When it comes to figuring out I'm aroace, the thing is, I kinda thought about it before, but I wasn't sure. Even then, it wasn't too long before I realized.

I always hated romance and cheesy scenes, kissing and especially sex scenes in anything I watch make me super uncomfortable, I'd sometimes think about, if I'm grown up and in a relationship, I have to do all of that... And I was actually scared of needing to get in a relationship, or something like that. Part of it was pressure from my parents to tell me I need to find a partner, to, I guess properly live my life or something. And this is essentially what a lot of people think, that you NEED to have a partner to be complete, and I always found it so weird. I don't want a partner I just wanna sit in my room and play videogames all day :'D

Oddly enough, No Straight Roads, one of my favourite games ever, has indirectly helped me- NOW HEAR ME OUT. One name: Eve.

Omg I love Eve so so much, and her whole arc just made me slowly go ... I feel that omg

I was in one relationship in my life, I'm actually still friends with that person, they also came out as trans, but are in a poly relationship now, which is kind of funny to me because we went pretty much the exact opposite route, I love it 😭

Anyway, I never had any feelings of love how people describe it, I never had any attraction to people. But I was so desperate when we broke up, like I lost my one opportunity in life to be in a relationship, like I needed to have someone else no matter how uncomfortable I felt being in one.

And I just saw my younger teenage self in Eve and I think this is one of the reasons I am so attached to this character, gahhHH I love No Straight Roads so much. It has helped me in a time I was feeling down, it indirectly got me into kpop (😭😭yeah), which then also came at the right time when I had a downer phase, and the community of the game on release was just so sweet.

But yeah, to come back to it, throughout my life, I basically went from "I guess I'm pan or something, because I don't have a preference"

To "Okay the thought of being with a man disgusts me, so I have to be a lesbian"

To "Okay, but I just like looking at people in an aesthetical way, I simp for characters or actors as a joke, I just like looking at them or think they're cute, but that's about it"

And then I was just like oh. Oh wait. it's all coming together.

Realizing you're aromantic and/or asexual can be really hard, and I've seen others' experiences be similar to mine. I think, in a way, it's so hard bc pursuing relationships is the norm for most of the world.

Thinking back to that one lesson we had in ethics class I'll never forget, we had to write down something about the meaning of life. And then everyone should say what they have written down and what their idea was. Most people wrote down having a family. I don't even know what I wrote down (probably something like a happy life or something basic), but I talked about how meaning of life doesn't have to be having a family. And the teacher basically laughed at me for saying that bc that's the whole point of being a human!!!

And I guess from that day I had this one sided beef / grudge against this teacher bc how the hell are you an ethics teacher and think so one-sided 😭 Sure, humans start families so they don't die out, but not EVERY human needs to start a family to have a purpose in life?

So yeah, anyway. Aspecs are very nuanced, there are those who have platonic relationships, people who enjoy sex although they are not attracted to someone, I myself am absolutely repulsed by anything sexual and I don't ever want any type of relationship, I don't like being lovey dovey, and I hate being too close to someone, like hugging, etc. On the outside I've always been very distant, but on the inside I have all the love I don't have for romance, for my friends and for this world instead 😌🙏

I guess I can really seem too cold or maybe even angry, bc it's hard for me to properly show my emotions, and that's why I prefer text over word, I can express myself so freely and can add all the silly little emotes I want :3

Also, I always loved the I do not perceive and do not wish to be perceived bc yeah . Me fr jfhdjdhr

Also, I'm not too fond of sexualities and genders all having weird stereotypes, but god damit I love robots/androids etc sm I always would love to be one fr ‼️‼️ I guess that's one of the reasons I was immediately hooked on Tokusatsu- NO THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A TOKU POST THIS HAS DERAILED WAY TOO FAR

But speaking of-- Naki me belobed and ofc their actor, I love Nakayama sm man and recently read an a bit older interview of him and he's so real 😭😭 I've never literally me-d for an actor so much 🥲

[elisysd]

22. It’s a love story baby just say yes

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Love Story - Taylo Swift

Julia had spent her entire flight from Shanghai to Milan making phone calls and sending emails. She was a girl on a mission and it was a welcome distraction, the opportunity for her to take her mind off of Ethan. Her dad had a clear vision of what he wanted and her job was to make it happen. No matter what. It had been settled, the proposal would happen on the Thursday morning, before the media activities, so it would still be calm. A lot of people were expected which wouldn’t surprise Lyanna as Monza was a family tradition and friends and family were always attending. This year, there would be a little bit more of loved ones but Julia hoped her mom would not find that weird.

Beside being excited about the proposal, she couldn’t wait to meet someone that was dear to her. Her cousin, Daphne. She was not really her cousin by blood but they had basically grown up together until life got in the way and they had to go on their separate ways. But Daphne lived in Italy and she would be in Monza, as her parents, Lily and Lando would be there. She had texted her as soon as she had landed and agreed to meet up in a coffee shop in Milan where Julia would spend a few days before she was needed on the track.

It wasn’t hard for her to find Daphne. She hadn’t change. She still had the same dark hair and tanned skin, the result of years spent in Greece and now in Italy for her art studies. She was casually working on her laptop, taking notes on the side but as soon as Julia appeared in her field of vision, she squealed before getting up and running to her.

“Dane! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long!” Julia exclaimed, attracting weird looks from customers.

“Julia! I’m so happy to see you! It’s been so long, oh my gosh I have so many questions. We need to catch up, come here.” the girl retorted, taking her by the arm and dragging her to the area she was sitting in.

Julia ordered a cappuccino before they started talking. Daphne hadn’t changed. She was still passionate about art and could spent hours talking about it, without it being annoying. Julia told her all about her job, avoiding mentioning her struggles, she wanted to have a day without thinking about them.

“And… who is that mystery man you are soft-launching on your social media for weeks now? I saw the rumours but I can’t believe that it could be Ethan. You have always hated him.”

Julia winced. She knew the history between Daphne and Ethan. How he was her first love and first kiss and how he had been an asshole to her, playing her and making her believe that he loved her. It took months for Daphne to forget him and with time, she had become an ally whenever Julia needed to rant and vent about him. She knew that Daphne hated him as much as her. And that’s why she didn’t know how to announce to her that they were dating. She was scared of how the brunette would react.

“Yeah… about that…” she started.

“Is it a guy from Lamborghini? Or Ferrari? I have to admit that Elijah is pretty good looking. I always had a thing for Spanish men. I have a Spanish teacher and let me tell you that he is hot as hell.” Daphne told her, excitedly.

“Daphne, you have to promise you won’t get mad.”

“Why would I be?”

“Just promise me you will let me explain everything before jumping to conclusions, okay.”

“Ju, you are scaring me.”

“Just promise!”

“Okay, fine! Oh gosh, don’t need to get your knickers in a twist!”

Julia sighed and took a deep mouthful of her cappuccino.

“I didn’t expect it, you have to believe me. It just… happened. Ethan and I are dating. And I didn’t plan it you have to believe me. We spent time together and he is not that bad, he definitely is a great guy. A bit stupid and arrogant sometimes and he likes to joke around and to tease me more than necessary but… I really like him. I feel… seen with him you know. I can be myself with him he won’t judge me or use me. I feel safe and I feel good about myself. It has not happened in a long time. You know how hard it is for me to trust people and to create friendships and relationships. You know that it wouldn’t have happened if I had any doubts about him. Right?”

Daphne was quiet. Too quiet. She was avoiding Julia’s gaze and when she finally looked at her, she could see how angry she was.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You… you are okay with it? Like one hundred percent sure?”

She could see Daphne scribbling furiously on her notebooks and drawing shapes and lines, as if she was trying to contain her anger.

“What is done is done, anyway. It’s not as if I had something to say about it. You won’t care. So you do you, Julia.”

“I don’t want things to get weird and uncomfortable for you… I wanted you yo know before we make our first public apparition together this weekend.”

“Oh, so it is that serious, then. Great. Amazing. Perfect. What is the next step? You are going to ask me to be your maid of honour for your wedding? The godmother of your kid?”

“Dane… please…”

She snapped her head to Julia and that’s when she finally exploded.

“You know how bad he hurt me. You know how many nights I spent thinking that something was wrong with me because of him. How it affected the image I had of myself. I was fourteen at the time but his words and the feeling I won’t ever be enough for someone is something that I still carry with me. You know all of that. And still, you decide to be with him? After all he has done to me and has done to other girls? You will just be another name on his list, Julia! Nothing else! He doesn’t love you, he is incapable of that! I thought you, out of all people, would know that and would never fall for that.”

She was standing now and with rage started to put back in her bag her things.

“Dane… please…” begged Julia.

“No. From now on, it’s Daphne for you.” said the brunette and without a second glance, left Julia here, thinking that she had lost one of her best friend for a boy, something she had swore to herself would never happened.

She wandered the streets of Milan, lost in thoughts. She knew telling about Ethan to Daphne would be hard but she hadn’t expected this reaction. It had always been a sensitive topic but it had been year snow since the holidays in Greece, there was water under the bridge. But not for everyone apparently. Now, she could only hope that Daphne wouldn’t be mad for long. She would hate herself if she had sacrificed a friendship for a boy. But it would be a problem for later, for now she needed to finalised the last detail for her dad’s big day.

“You look gorgeous, Julia.” said her aunt Kika.

She was wearing the exact replica of the dress her mom had worn the night she won her Oscar. It had taken a lot of time for her aunt but she managed to work her magic and find it in a vintage shop.

“Thank you. I’m so stressed out. I hope everything will be perfect. They deserve it.”

“You managed to make it happen, Julia. And it looks so amazing. They will love it.”

A few seconds later, Louis went out of the bathroom, wearing the special merch of the year her dad and mom had gotten together. He looked really cute but was looking very uncomfortable.

“It was in the attic. We should have cleaned it before I got to wear that.” he complained.

“You look fine, don’t worry. And I promise that I soon as dad got on one knee, you can remove it.”

The group soon headed to the reception where Pierre was waiting for them, along with both Julia’s uncles, Lorenzo and Arthur. They were all dressed in their best tuxedos, holding presents and red roses to give to Lyanna. Julia checked her phone, they still had one hour to get into position and be ready for when her mom would arrive with Kat and Lily. She had to leave now to make sure everything was in place and give the last instructions.

In the Ferrari hospitality, Charles had never felt so stressed out in his entire life. Winning a championship, marrying Lyanna, having their kids, all had been stressful moments, but the idea of asking his wife a second time to marry him… that was another level of stress. Of course he knew she would say yes, there was not a doubt in his mind. But still, he was asking her to keep trusting him with her heart. He was asking her to keep promising they would be there for one another. Officially. And he was scared, so scared that his fingers were shaking as he tried to put on his racing suit.

“Do you need help?” Julia entered the room, a soft smile on her face as she saw her dad struggling.

“Please. I look stupid.”

“No, you don’t. Sure the suit is a bit tighter that on the pictures but hey, you are an old man now.”

“I’m not that old.”

“You are vintage.”

A laugh escaped him and Julia soon joined him.

“Thank you, Ju’. For everything. I couldn’t have done it without your help.” he said squeezing her to his side.

“Don’t make me cry right know. Are you sure you have everything? Your wedding ring?”

“With Elijah.”

She nodded. One last hug to her dad and a kiss on his cheek and she was out. He feet drove her to the end of the pitlane where was exposed her dad’s first world championship car. It was still looking perfect, even after all this time. She was taking the time to inspect it when she saw a bright red suit coming in her direction.

“Wow, Julia you look… I have no words.”

“Thanks. I tried to reproduce my mom’s Oscar winning look. I hope she will like it.”

Martin kept on staring at her, making her slightly uncomfortable until Elijah came to them, his helmet on, completely in his world. They were soon joined by Louis and her dad, that sat in the car. She addressed a reassuring smile to her dad as he kept fidgeting with his fingers.

Soon, Ethan arrived next to Max, telling Julia that her mom was on her way.

When Lyanna arrived in the paddock with Kat, she knew that there was something weird about this day. Everyone had been vague when talking to her and she had barely seen her husband and children when usually they were all glued together when Monza was happening. She knew Julia had stuff to do but Charles… He always managed to find time for her, to take her out for dinner or to walk around the track after the qualifying to reminisce about the past. But this year, they didn’t do it and she had to admit that it was bothering her. As she was heading to the Ferrari hospitality, Kat quickly took her by the arms to give her an envelope.

“What is this?”

“A present. Kika and Pierre have another one that is waiting for you.”

Lyanna looked at her in disbelief, not understanding what was going on. Still, she opened it to find a framed picture in black and white of Charles and herself, in Abu Dhabi right after he finished the race and got his first title. This moment would always hold a special place in Lya’s heart, she was pregnant with Julia at the time and it was also that day, Charles had asked her to marry him. She blinked quickly to prevent the tears to fall down and walked in the direction Kat was pointing to her.

There, in front of what was once where Alpine’s hospitality was standing, she found the couple and their two boys, twins, waiting for her, with a big piece of what she guessed was art in front of them.

“I’m so happy to see you all. It’s been a while. Tristan, Leo, you boys are so tall now! Taller than your dad.”

“Or maybe it’s just him who is getting smaller with the age.” shrugged Tristan making his brother laugh.

“Ahahah. You boys are funny. Anyway, there you go. For you.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, thinking that it was very on brand from the Gaslys. She remembered the picture all too well, it was engraved in her memory forever. Kika, Pierre and her, all wearing Pierre’s t-shirt with his name and driver’s number, laughing their asses off. They already had the almost same picture at home that Charles was hellbent on keeping it hidden.

“Charles will love it, I’m sure.” she said between two laughs.

“Lily and Lando are waiting for you, a few meters away from here.” added Kika.

As Lyanna was about to head there, she got stopped by Kika that threw her arms around her.

“I love you. You are like the sister I’ve never had and I admire you so much.”

“Kika! Don’t say that, I’m already about to cry…”

Reluctantly, they let go of each other and Lyanna headed to Lily and Lando. Daphne and her brother, Percy were there too. That made her happy, she knew how close Julia and Daphne were and how Percy was what was the closest thing a friend would be for Louis.

“So what do you guys have for me? A painting?” she asked. She knew what to expect now.

“No, better than that. Even though I had to stop Lily to make one.”

“There will always have other opportunities…” she smiled, handing to Lyanna a small package.

It was a gorgeous necklace made of seashells. She put it around her neck quickly.

“Santorini seashells.” Lily added.

“Your wedding…”

“We know how important that place is both for you and Charles.” said Lando, an arm around his wife waist and the other around Daphne.

“Where am I supposed to go next?” asked Lyanna.

“You learn fast. Joris is waiting by the Ferrari’s hospitality.”

And indeed he was there, sitting on the steps leading inside the building. He had a bag next to him and waved when he finally saw Lyanna. He scooted over, inviting her to sit by his side.

“So what do we remind you of? Because that’s the whole deal, right? Giving me things that are reminders of Charles and I relationship.”

“I think you will like this one. Everyone went with thoughtful and emotional gift, I presume. I chose one of my favourite moment.”

Inside the package, Lyanna found black pants, a black hoodie and a black balaclava. She shot a curious glance to Joris, waiting for him to explain.

“The day Charles dragged me along because you were going Christmas shopping with his ex-girlfriend. I felt like going on a spy mission. It was pathetic but cute and funny and I remembered thinking, if my best friend is ready to do go this far for this girl, then I’m sure she is the one and they will get married. I wasn’t wrong. Thank you for being there for him, for not letting him down. And thank you for being one of my best friend too. I love you, Lyanna. I don’t think I’ve ever told you.”

“Oh Joris. Come here.” She knew she would cry but never did she think it would be Joris that would give her the final blow.

They hugged for a moment and she swore Joris was crying too.

“So who is next?”

“Lorenzo and Arthur. They are the last ones before your husband. They are waiting for you at the garage.”

So she went there. She didn’t need to guess for long about the present, it was right in Arthur’s hands.

“A crown of flowers?” she smiled when she finally got to them.

“We don’t have to explain the reference, right?” asked Arthur.

“No you don’t. This movie will forever hold a special place in my heart, for more reasons than one.”

“It’s the beginning of your story. It’s how you met Charles. Everything led back to you so, a crown of flowers, a never ending circle… it was fitting.” explained Lorenzo.

“Can I wear it?”

Arthur put it on the top of her head as Lorenzo made her spin around.

“So… time to go meet Charles and your children. They are waiting at the end of the pitlane.”

They made their way together and Lyanna gasped when saw what was waiting for her there. Firstly, she noticed everyone standing there, looking at her as Arthur put a hand on the small of her back to make her move forward. She saw the smiles and how Kat, Kika and Lily were on the verge of tears. Then, she noticed Julia and Louis, perfect carbon copy of her and Charles. She went to them as they were handing her a bouquet of red and yellow roses with a prancing horse in it.

“You two… if I had known…” she started, taking both of them in her arms.

“That’s the whole point of a surprise, mom. For you not to know.” Julia joked, her throat sore as she was trying her best to not cry.

Lyanna kissed them both on the cheek before finally turning to her husband. He was still as handsome as when she first met him and suddenly it was like she went back in time to twenty-five years ago. Same place, same suit, same smile and same butterflies when he was near her. They went though hell and back, alone and together but managed to find their way back to each other every time. And she would do it all over again if given the chance. Martin and Elijah were next to him, entirely dressed and with their helmets on and visor down, looking like bodyguards and she couldn’t help but laugh through the tears. Finally, Charles stood up and went to her taking both of her hands in his.

“Lyanna, my love and the better part of me… I swore to you almost twenty-five years ago that I would always be fast, that I would always come back to you and that I would always love you. There has not been a day when this promise was not in the back of my mind. You complete me. It had always been you and I against the world. And then Julia came along and it was us three against the world. And then came Louis and it was us four against the world. You guys are my biggest strength but you, you are my everything. You are not only my wife or the mother of my children, or an Oscar-winning actress. You are my soulmate. You are my best friend, sorry Joris, my shoulder to lean on and my home. You are my lighthouse. You’re the only constant in my life. I’ve not always been the best dad or the best husband, I made mistakes, I keep on making them but you’ve always been by my side to help me get through them or to slap me in the back of the head. I’m still thanking the stars and my guardian angels that they put you on my path. I love you is not strong enough to express what I feel for you, Lya. It had never been. I wish a word could exist to tell you exactly what you are for me. So, Lyanna… would you keep on making me the happiest man on earth and to become my wife? A second time? Would you accept to keep on walking together on the life’s path and grow old together?”

Julia couldn’t help but cry as she saw her mom sobbing and profusely nodding. She felt a hot hand on her shoulder and someone pulling her against a chest. She recognised Ethan’s scent as he kissed the side of her head, still holding her close and rocking her slowly. She knew the photographers would have a field day between her parents and Ethan and herself but frankly, she didn’t care.

“I want to thank our Ju’ who helped me putting all of that in place. It wouldn’t have been this magical without her help.” said her dad, his voice filled with emotion.

She waved awkwardly, burying her head in Ethan’s chest as everyone was clapping and cheering for her. She felt happy for her parents but if she could hide somewhere she would. It was their day, not hers. She had only helped his dad to make his vision alive. Nothing else. She felt colder as Ethan let go of her but soon she was engulfed in a hug by her mom as she recognised her perfume. And then, two arms circled her waist and she knew it was her brother. Finally, two other strong arms pulled them all together against a hard chest and she knew it was her dad. She was hearing her mother’s sobs and feeling the awkward pat in the back that her brother was giving her. Knowing how much he was taking it upon himself to participate in the family hug made her heart full and made her want to cry even more.

“I love you all. More than anything. You guys are my biggest trophies and my biggest victory.” said Charles in their ears.

Author's note: I was so excited for this chapter I couldn't wait for you all to read it! A big thank you to @smoooothoperator for allowing me to borrow Daphne and her family. If you want to read about them, please check out her story Beautiful Stranger! What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[mywifeymax]

Just Us (Sam winchester x Femreader) Oneshot

Desperation - Y/n get saved by Sam when a demon try to attack her she thank him but also feels some kind of deep connection with Sam which leads into her getting to know him

Y/n pov:

*I yawn as I entered the bathroom as I brushed my teeth and my hair before going back to my room as I grab out a white T-shirt with a band logo on it and some jeans and I put it on before grabbing my jacket and slip it on I then pin half of my hair back and left the button half down and put on my boots and grab my bag*

*Getting back to my dorm I took off my jacket but stop when I heard a sound in my living room* "Hello"I called out but got no reply *opening my bedroom door I walked out of the room and saw a figure in the doorway* "Can I help you with something?"I asked

*Suddenly it turned around and had black eyes and I scream when it threw it self at me and I try pushing it off* "Don't worry it be all over soon"It said *I shut my eyes as it was about the slit my throat but I felt nothing and open my eyes to see a taller guy and a shorter guy holding the demon back as the taller one speak in some Latin language sitting up I stared up at the two*

*I watch as some black smokey thing went up in the air and out of the window and the taller one put his hand out and I took it as he helped me up* "Are you okay?"He asked "Yeah I just hit my head a little but what was that?"I asked "A black eyed demon"The shorter one spoke *I looked at him and then back at the taller one* "Who are you guys?"I asked "I am Sam this is Dean my brother"The taller one said "Nice to meet you"I said to them "You too"Dean said with a smirk

"Wait but why was this demon after me?"I asked "There some demons that like to kill for no reason they are the lower level demons"Sam said "Hate to break this up but I'm starving so im gonna go get me a burger"Dean said *Both me and Sam said okay as Dean left my apartment*

"So what do you major?"Sam asked "law"I said "No way I did too for a long period of time"Sam said *I smile* "I want to be a lawyer but ugh the studying is so hard"I said "Right like it was just stacks of paper after papers"Sam said *I smiled* "What made you quite law school?"I asked "Family business"Sam said *I nodded* "Yeah family issues can suck"I said "Tell me about it"Sam said for some reason I felt this connection with sam

*getting up I grab two beers out of the fridge and came back and gave one to sam as we open it and talked about our interest in stuff* "Your different y/n"Sam said with a smile "How so?"I asked "Just are I mean I feel this weird connection between us it's kinda hard to explain it"Sam said

*As Sam said that our eyes locked on eachother as we moved closer to each other Sam lean in and slowly pressed his softly lips against and kiss me I shut mine as well matching his rtythem of speed in the kiss*

--------------

*After awhile Dean came back and talk about how good his burger was I made a few jokes before walking the brothers out to the door* "I want to say thank you again if it wasn't for you two I would be dead right now"I said

*Dean smiled at Sam before walking to the car and getting in and Sam turned towards me* "I'm not really supposed to do this but keep me in touch alright I like you alot and I want to know more about you Y/n"Sam said as he handed me a card *As I was about to close the door Sam stopped it and lean in to kiss me once again as I kissed him back* "I'll make sure to visit but uh remember stay in contact"Sam said *I smiled* "I will"I said

-The end-

[asherlockstudy]

GMMore 2637 was interesting...

a) Rhett totally painted Katrina as a closeted lesbian in his mind or at least that her husband comes second in her heart XD

Rhett: You really want to... you want to get close. Like when you want to connect to somebody, we need to - we need to bring your hubby in here. Do you go into your hubby's pores? Katrina: No. Rhett:

"Poor husband living a lie" This was what he was conveying but I don't think Katrina caught the joke. BTW she really sounded obsessed!

b) Maybe I see too much in this but I think Link and particularly Rhett were a little pensive about the great relationship Meghan has with her mother. When she said they don't hide anything from each other and that they communicate everyday, they were slightly taken aback, in a "wow can family relationships realistically be that good?".

Rhett: Wow, so you are an open book? Meghan: With my mom, yes. Rhett: Y'all talk every day?! (looks down, speaks seriously, emphatically) That is a beautiful thing. Do you want to get in her pores? Meghan: Sometimes. She has such nice pores. Rhett: (looks down again)

Meghan did not even respond to the joke in a typical supposedly humorous way like "ewww that's weird haha", she fully went "yeah I love me mom, whatever it takes". It definitely felt like Rhett and Link were making comparisons inside their minds and I wonder whether they projected themselves into this from the perspective of the parent or the child. I won't go as far as to say they looked jealous of this but Rhett especially seemed to openly consider regular, healthy and honest communication between parent and child an unusual occurence.

c) Lastly, Link's dream of course. He and Rhett being trapped in a large house, except Link was scared as hell and wanted out of it whereas Rhett was enjoying its creepiness. This dream left enough of an impression to Link for him to discuss it with his therapist. As he explained, he thought the dream was revealing what is going on in his psyche.

Link was itching to go back to his dream. Nobody asked him what his dream meant but Link was just dying to say more. Both Rhett and Stevie made a quick hard pass on him. Now, you're all welcome to tell me what the message he was trying to convey was and I am honest in saying I am not sure. Does he need a break badly? Does he want to quit GMM / Mythical? Short-term? Long-term? Is this about the other type of escape I have talked about? An outing? But this would suggest the outing is complete in his private life, which, again, I am not sold on at all. Or, back to it, is this really just professional? He's so done with GMM. He needs a break? But if it was just a short-term need for a vacation, would Rhett and Stevie be as uncomfortable about it as they were? Maybe Link thinks they are overdoing it? He wishes for fewer days, maybe he would like GMM to become like GMS or even just be a weekly show...? They make all the content in MS too, it could be too much for him at this point... Just throwing some guesses out there...

[ordinaryschmuck]

Once thing that KIND OF bothers me about modern Rick and Morty, aside from the weird incest jokes, is this:

The show made it explicitly clear that Rick's origin story in the Season Three premier wasn't real. The line of dialogue goes...

"This is a memory. You can't alter a memory."

"True. But you CAN alter the facts of a completely fabricated origin story."

It was kind of disappointing that this origin they gave Rick was never real to begin with, but at the same time it was pretty funny AND brilliant. Instead of slapping Rick with a semi-generic origin, they turned it into a way for him to escape space jail. Plus, it leaves fans wondering what his REAL origin story is. If losing his family to an eviler version of himself was fake, then what was the REAL reason Rick became Rick? It was an interesting question and made me wonder what could be the truth...And then the writers said, "Screw it, that WAS the truth."

Don't get me wrong, there's some interesting stuff that comes from this origin being real. The montage of Rick becoming the broken man he is today, the season six premier that showed how messed up he got after losing his wife and daughter, and the scene where Rick beats Rick Prime to death are all fantastic moments. The problem is that my mind keeps going back to Rick saying "completely fabricated origin story." Not only was that origin treated as a JOKE, it was a plot point that was used to help Rick escape. Even if you say that "Oh, well, the montage showed how it took time for Rick to make portal travel! That makes it fabricated," that's ALTERING THE MEMORY. Something the show said you couldn't do.

It also brings up the question: If this is supposed to be the one Rick who cared, why doesn't he ALWAYS act like that? Yeah, we have tidbits here and there that prove he still loves his family (except Jerry), but he acts way more like he hates them. And that's because Rick and Morty NEVER had this origin in mind when the show started. It was a primarily episodic show until it decided to have some plot relevance, much like Adventure Time. But unlike Adventure Time, the show did a bad job at properly retconing an idea into the show in a way where it still works and feels like it was ALWAYS planned when it wasn't.

Rick's origin causes more questions than answers. Even though it explains EVERYTHING, it pokes holes in the story and show. They tried to make something good with it, gosh DANG IT, they're trying. But it doesn't matter how hard they try, because no matter how good the scene is, the back of my brain will always say "Completely fabricated."

[lilacmoon83]

Lightning in a Bottle

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 77: Call Sign, Pt 2

Emma looked at her reflection in the full length mirror. Margaret had picked out a beautiful dress for her and she looked stunning, however, she had never been more nervous.

"Were you nervous at all on your wedding day?" Emma asked. Margaret smiled.

"I know that everyone said I would be…but no, I wasn't. I couldn't wait to make it official. It was mainly for everyone else. David and I already felt married long before we went to the altar," she answered.

"Yeah…you guys are not the typical example," Emma said.

"It doesn't mean that you and Neal don't share an amazing love too," Margaret replied.

"You're right…you and my brother are just weird," the blonde teased.

"Haha…but yeah, probably," Margaret agreed.

"In a good way," Emma assured her.

"Everything is going to be fine," Margaret said.

"What if it's not? What if he dies tomorrow?" Emma asked.

"He's not going to. The Callings have done so much good. We're going to follow them and it's going to save him," Margaret replied. A shudder of fear rippled through Emma. How did she even begin to tell them that she had defied a Calling? And that those very dangerous men that should be dead now, had she done as the Calling asked, might go free at trial. She shook her head and pushed those terrifying thoughts away. If she focused on that, she would lose her mind and Neal needed her. They were getting married and she was going to be happy. Margaret was right. The rest would figure itself out.

~(~

Gold helped his son straighten his tie and looked at him wistfully.

"Nervous?" he asked.

"No…just anxious for the ceremony to start. I can't wait to be married to the woman I love," Neal replied. He didn't add the even though it might be for only one day, but the

possibility of that hung in the air around them.

"I'm very happy for you, my boy," Gold said.

"Thanks Dad…glad we're a family again. Didn't think that could happen," Neal replied.

"Me either…but it means the world to me that you have forgiven me," Gold said, as they shared a hug.

~*~

Olive looked at the house, decorated with all the pomp of the wedding, and smiled.

"It's like a dream…it's amazing," she mentioned, but noticed that TJ seemed to be a million miles away. She sighed.

"Okay TJ…what's going on with you?" she asked. He sighed.

"I'm leaving," he said and she looked shocked.

"A few weeks ago, I applied for a grant to study in Egypt. And it went through," he explained.

"Egypt?" she questioned.

"Look, coming back on 828, not dying in the nightclub fire…I survived twice for a reason," he said.

"Yeah. To live your life," Olive argued.

"But it's more than just that. I think I'm still here to find out what the Alzarus book means. And maybe I'll find a clue about the Death Date," he said. She scoffed.

"I'm sorry, Olive," he said, as tried to comfort her, but she pulled away.

"Please, I don't...I can't do this. Not now," Olive said, as she walked off.

~*~

"Good of you to come, Killian," Ruby said, as she handed him a glass of champagne.

"Anything for Emma," he replied, as he looked around. He couldn't help but think that this should have been for them.

"For what it's worth…I'm sorry. I know you still love her," Ruby said.

"It's fine…it just didn't work out for us," Killian replied.

"Yeah…it's not awkward or anything," Ruby joked. He smiled.

"Yeah…" he agreed.

"I think I may need something stronger than champagne," he said.

"I'll see what I can do," she replied, as she went to find him some hard liquor.

~*~

"Are you ready?" Margaret asked. She nodded.

"As ready as I'll ever be. I just wish I knew I was doing the right thing…that stopping his treatments is okay and that the Callings will save him," Emma replied.

"I can't answer those questions, but I know respecting what he wants is the right thing," Margaret replied.

"What if it was David asking this of you?" Emma asked. Margaret took a breath.

"Then I would be a mess…but being with him every moment would be my priority and I would have hope to the very end," she said.

"All good things, Emma. I spent almost six years without him…but something brought him…all of you back. Whatever it is…it's good," she promised. Emma smiled.

"All good things," she repeated, as they exited the bedroom door where David was waiting for them in his tux.

"Ready?" he asked. She nodded, as they hugged her between them.

"This is a happy beginning…not an end," he promised.

"You have no idea how much I hope you're right," Emma said, as they led her into the living room for the main procession.

~*~

The moment he saw her, he felt like he couldn't breathe. As Ruby returned with some rum, he handed her the glass of champagne.

"I'm sorry…tell Emma I'm sorry. I can't do this," he said, as he fled the scene before she could see him. He got into his car and put it in gear, driving off, unaware of the van

parked outside the Nolan house with the three escaped convicts.

~*~

David and Margaret walked Emma down the aisle and they met Neal there, before the Holy man. They each kissed her cheek and then took their seats in the front row.

Margaret smiled and took the baby from her father-in-law, as the ceremony began.

"We've gathered today to witness and affirm the choice Neal and Emma have made to stand together as partners in life. And they have written their own vows of commitment

to one another," he began, before looking at Neal.

"Emma… we'll never have enough time to do everything that we want, to create all the memories we'd like, but having you believe in me, care for me, love me has been the

greatest gift of my life. And I vow, however long I'm privileged to be your husband, to fill your world with all the love you deserve," he promised. She smiled.

"Neal, I want to be the best wife that I can be, which to me means I will stand beside you, loving you and supporting you in whatever choices you make in your life. I will

never give up on you. And I will fight for your life... our life together for as long as we both shall live," Emma said. The minister smiled.

"By the power vested in me by the state of New York... I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride," he announced. There was applause, as they kissed

and their marriage was official.

~*~

The reception followed and several dances were shared, before Emma found her way to her brother.

"MM says you had cold feet for a minute there," he said.

"Do you ever not tell each other things?" Emma asked. He smirked.

"No…and it makes for a great marriage," he replied.

"Yeah…for a minute there, I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but MM reminded me that following Neal's wishes would always be right. All good things…and hope. That's

the key or at least, I hope it is," she said. He smiled and kissed her hair.

"It is," he promised, as he joined Margaret again on the dance floor, while Ruby sided up to her.

"I thought I saw Killian…where did he go?" Emma asked.

"He left…he said to tell you that he was sorry, but I think it was too hard for him," Ruby confessed. Emma nodded.

"It's okay…I get it and I don't blame him," she replied.

"Just put it out of your mind…and be happy. You deserve it," Ruby said, as Emma smiled.

"Thank you," she replied, as Neal held his hand out and she joined him for a dance.

"You alright?" he asked.

"I'm better than alright. I'm with you. That's all that matters," she replied.

"So you're glad you said "I do"?" he asked. She smiled.

"Yeah. Of course," she answered.

"I know you've had reservations. Didn't know if you still had second thoughts," he mentioned.

"Our situation is anything but normal. But I love you. Don't ever doubt that," she said.

~*~

The crickets chirped, as TJ and Olive walked outside together to talk.

"Why don't you come with me? To Egypt. You're graduating in the spring. You can meet

up with me right after," he suggested.

"TJ, I'm…" Olive trailed off.

"Olive, I love you. And I want to be with you," he added.

"I wish I could. But I...I-I want my baby sister to know me. And I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with my mom and my dad and Cal before…" she said,

trailing off again.

"You're my best friend," she added.

"And us...breaking up, it…" she said, but he cut her off.

"I'm not breaking up with you. I'm going on this trip so that I can try to solve the Death Date so that we can have a future together. Just don't give up on me," he pleaded.

She smiled.

"Never," she promised.

~*~

Emma sighed, as she had a glass of champagne and talked to Regina.

"Congratulations," Regina said. Emma smiled.

"Thanks," she replied.

"You okay?" Emma asked. Regina sighed.

"I just feel like I failed Neal…and you," she said. Emma shook her head.

"No…you did everything you could. Neal has all but given up, but I haven't. David insists that the Callings will still come through and I'm trying to have that same hope that he

and MM do," she replied.

"Hope has never been easy for me either…but in this instance, I hope they are right. I quite like having a brother," Regina said. Emma smiled, as Regina's cell phone chimed

and she saw that it was unknown.

"Call me if you need anything…I need to take this," she said, as she went outside to answer it.

~*~

The reception was winding down at that point and Neal was hugging his father.

"Papa…I know that tomorrow might, well…you know. And if it is…just know that I love you and I've forgiven you, ten fold," Neal promised. Gold had tears in his eyes, as he

hugged him again. Henry hugged him next and he ruffled the boy's hair.

"I don't know how I can ever thank you, Henry. You saved my life, in more ways than one. You introduced me to your Aunt Emma, you know?" he said. Henry sniffed.

"You gave me the best bachelor party I've ever been to," Neal added, as he sniffed.

"You be good, little man and keep working on those chess skills. This guy here is the best there is at it. Maybe you two can play," Neal said, as he motioned to his father.

"I would love that, my boy," Gold said. Henry smiled.

"Me too," he agreed, as Emma was saying her goodbyes to her father and then finally David and MM.

"I promise you that I'm not going to give up. I'll follow the Callings to the end of the Earth if it means saving Neal," Emma said, as David and Margaret hugged her between

them.

"We know…and we'll be there to do whatever you need," he promised, as they saw the couple off to their car so their honeymoon could begin. They got in the car and drove

off.

~*~

Regina waited at the meeting point that had been texted her and looked around nervously. There was a tap on her shoulder and she turned around. When she saw no one,

she turned back the other way, only to practically jump out of her skin when seeing Vance now standing there, like he had come out of nowhere.

"Geez…don't do that!" she hissed.

"David sent the SOS so here I am. It better be good…because this is risky," Vance said.

"What's this about?" he asked.

"The Major…she had me fired and locked out of my lab. She had my license revoked and all my research has been taken," Regina replied. He looked intrigued by that.

"What? What do you know?" she asked.

"A couple days ago, the switchboard at the DOD lit up like a Christmas tree. The Major found a breakthrough with your research. She needs to make sure what she discovered

stays in her hands and her hands only," he revealed. Regina looked stunned.

"She must have cracked it. Gotten rid of the DNA anomaly permanently," she realized.

"I think it's time for me to make you disappear," Vance suggested. Regina looked shocked at that.

"Run away?" she questioned.

"It's for your own safety," Vance answered.

"No, I don't think you understand. I am not hiding from her. I am coming after her," Regina insisted, giving Vance a moment of pause at her determination.

~*~

"All cleaned up. Our house is officially a pumpkin again. Dishwasher's loaded. We're off the clock. You want to watch a movie?" Olive asked her little brother.

"You pick. I'm gonna go fire these babies up," Henry said, referring to the sparklers that he'd been given. She rolled her eyes and went to pick one out, while Henry went outside in the front yard to light up the sparklers.

~*~

The baby cooed, as Margaret sang softly to her in their bedroom. David smiled and then was suddenly seized by a Calling. This one was intense and he saw the plane

exploding in mid air.

"Honey?" Margaret asked, as he breathed heavily.

"Another Calling?" she asked. He nodded.

"But different…I saw the plane exploding in mid air," he said, in confusion.

"But that didn't happen," Margaret replied.

"I know…maybe it's metaphorical for something else. Like something's about to happen," David said. Margaret squeezed his hand. A Calling like that couldn't mean anything

good.

~*~

Henry stood in the front yard and twirled his sparkler, moving it around to use the smoke as air writing. Three shadows approached him in the yard. The sparkler went out, as

the shadows loomed and he turned around, looking up into darkness…

~*~

Neal smiled at her, as she drove them toward their destination when the phone rang.

"Who's calling us on our honeymoon?" she wondered, as she pressed the button on her steering wheel to answer her phone, which was bluetoothed into the car.

"Hopefully someone with good news," Neal replied.

"Hello?" Emma answered.

"Aunt Emma…help!" Henry cried, sending their hearts into their throats.

"Henry…" she uttered.

"Shut that kid up!" a man's voice growled and a cold chill slithered down Emma's spine. It was Jace…she was sure of it.

"Listen, you sick…" Emma hissed.

"No, you listen, bitch!" Jace hissed back.

"You have two choices...you get us back or stash or you bury your nephew!" he warned.

"Don't you dare touch him!" Emma warned.

"Don't tempt me. I warned you. Now you're gonna pay," he said, as the line went dead.

"HENRY!" she cried and the realization came crashing down on her. She was responsible for this. She ignored a Calling and the trio of drug dealers didn't die as they

were supposed to. And now they had Henry. The brakes screeched, as she did a u-turn to head back to her brother's house.

[pwblogarchive]

April 2004

April 1, 2004

“hey heartbreaker, you'll never work in this town again”

I think someone is impersonating me online. Could be a joke. But if you talk to someone online and they say they are me, they aren't. I don't talk to anyone online. Texas is fun. We got some sick clandestine hoodies. They've got bats on the hoods and all. Sidenote: I love nickplan. Sorry my words don't have the same weight they usually have right now. Usually they feel stuck in my throat, today it feels okay inside my skin. Oh yeah chicagoland. We want to roadtest some of our new songs so we will be playing around unannounced on shows at really small venues in the next few months. If you snooze you lose. You never know what show we may play.

April 4, 2004

“we love life”

Texas was sex. Dallas being the most amazing. Its hot down here. We played with a band called DV8, this really young band (13-15). They were rad. The bassists bass was bigger than him. Me some rad kids in arkansas, they were starry-eyed and made me tongue-tied. I've been writing a lot lately. All my old charms and curses are back in full swing. I can't wait to get home. Well take these hearts and rename them dangerous and invincible. Well make them too hard to break.

Peterpan

April 7, 2004

“a man-made monster with every human emotion (clandestine explained 1)”

So a lot of people have been asking us about these hoodies and shirt with bats on them. It is not a clothing company. It is not a new band. When I was younger I had this same nightmare over and over again- so my friend tim biedron and I made a story of it (www.timbiedron.com to check out his art). The story is finished and we are waiting on some of the illustration. You may love it or hate it but its something that was stuck inside my head for a long time. We will be selling shirts and skatedecks online soon (www.clandestineindustries.com) and the story will be available this summer. Take the time to check it out if you get a chance.

Love peter

April 10, 2004

“ice age, heat wave cant complain”

i really like the new modest mouse cd. it's called good news for people who love bad news. purchase it.

April 11, 2004

“the moon has one third less gravity than your earth, i don't know if you can comprehend that”

im home. i love aqua teen hunger force. its hilarious. i wanted to let everyone know that if you haven't heard the point id suggest checking them out. a good mix of core and punk rock type stuff. i really really enjoy the hell out of them. www.thepointrock.com

still listening to modest mouse. still think you should get it. being home is nice. im full of food and really clean and im wearing my hood up. im way tired.

April 11, 2004

“I want to sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you”

Thanks for fun on tour. For the record for those in freeport- we had a little bit of fun with you. I will not ever drink. Its not my thing. So if you think there was more than water in that beer bottle, I have a bridge you might wanna buy too.

April 12, 2004

in response to a post on our messageboard, i want to say that i eat only cocoa crispies. i dont dig any other cereals.

April 14, 2004

“in case you're keeping score”

Being in a band is the ultimate friendship ruiner. Went to two shows tonight. In addition to all the smoke got to hang with: akas, beautiful mistake, dld, apo, senses fail and rufio. Being in a band is the best friendship maker. I am getting this awesome bass custom made, black with a red pick guard, no knobs, wired "on". I think it got me weird, so I dyed my hair red and black. Its sex or maybe not. I have 80 pages of lyrics to wade through. New songs soon. New love soon. Style update: I'm only gonna wear little polo tees with the collars up from now on. The clandestine webstore is almost up. I want to get "mom" tattoo for mothers day.

Peter

April 14, 2004

i just wanted to welcome the academy to the family. it's cool cause i've seen these guys go from the beginning and now we're here....

- petey

April 15, 2004

“who dares wins.”

i have been having such a rad time at home. but i must admit i haven't gotten used to sleeping with out hearing my friends breathing in hotel rooms. my bed doesn't feel the same. we leave again today. i am excited to see old friends. i am excited to see some bands too. the full clandestine website is going to launch on april 22 at www.clandestineindustries.com - we'll have some gear at the next couple of shows.

i was gonna post some pictures of my experiments with shaving and hair dye here. but i don't know how so go on over to: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal to see em.

love peterlewiskingstonwentz

i've found that liars always sing the loudest. heart in mouth, ego on sleeve. you've always got the right girl and the right line. i swear to god, take this mic and cross my heart and hope you die. i'm singing this one just flat of the key of love. liars always sing the loudest. the act is getting old but i'm sure all the fools will follow like vermin down the hole.

April 15, 2004

hey jerks. i got bored and dyed my hair red and black- oooh scary. when i am home i only wear sweatpants and don't shave. here's a look into the life of a loser:

make me say ugh nahnahnahnah

[image here]

there's that quarterback smile we all hate 

[image here]

born to lose 

[image here]

pretty emo bro, you could use this one to score on live journal 

[image here]

and here's the after shaved and ready to do some stagedives. new jersey or bust. 

[image here]

this may in fact be photo evidence that i am gay 

[image here]

now that we have that out of the way. the full clandestine site should launch on april 22. we'll be selling some gear at skateandsurf and at a couple of these shows on the way out. tour never ends. for real go and listen to my friend ben's band, it's called Not Enough Gold. they smoke. our tour this summer is gonna be called "believers never die" get into it. sorry for all the pictures, this ain't my space biatch, send me some.

1 2 3 L U V!

- petey

April 26, 2004

so much has been going on. my head has been moving too fast, i can't catch up. clandestineindustries.com is up.

i've got a picture from skate and surf in new jersey. we will have more soon, excuse the quality. you can see how insane this room was.

[image here]

- petey

[here-inmy-mind]

june 7, 2024;

The opposite of love is indifference

The night did not go nearly like I imagined it would. originally I had planned to go to dinner by myself after a really weird day and night of minimal contact with C. I just wanted some down time to read and eat and not lay around and think about how badly I messed things up.

but i missed him, and I was afraid of another night by myself.

I ended up asking him to come, which, I'm not sure I would categorize as a mistake or not. We talked and dealt with some issues, but I also had a panic attack in public. At my favorite restauraunt.

How about I get into it instead of just rambling? because I've been putting off even thinking about the night, it was so cringey in every way, and I'm incredibly confused about like 90% of it..

Dinner started off great, even though for some stupid reason after all this time I'm still nervous every time I see him. After the conversation we had the day before about most of the issues that we had lately I felt a lot better, but apparently being content isn't something that I can just accept, because part of that night was still bothering me.

On our way to grab dinner we ended up talking about my last name, and C mentions that I must be glad to soon be rid of my married name. I explained that I was keeping it. I don't think it's something that he could understand even if I tried to explain it. I just need that link t my kids. Even though J isn't part of my family anymore, I've thought so much about it and as much as I would like to get rid of anything that has any kind of link to him, this is also the only thing that links me to my kids on paper. I could be petty and cut that tie to take myself even further away from him, but it feels like taking myself a little further from my kids too. Like saying "this name I gave you is garbage to me now, I'm out, but you're stuck with it." It feels like one single part where he would be closer to them than I am. I've been there for them every single day of their lives while he waltzed in and out when he felt like it, I was there for all of their moments, always, and it feels like giving up that name gives him something that he doesn't deserve. Its absolute insanity to me that I would have to ask his permission to add my last name to theirs. But this is the way it works.

In my head, this wasn't the issue. I brought it up because when he laughed and said that was dumb on that night, I made a joke about how if he didn't like it he could change my last name. His response was to laugh at me and say "I hope you don't think I'm going to propose to you".

Like..don't get me wrong, I can take a joke. It takes a lot to offend me. But..ouch..? Right in the pride, which I don't have a whole lot left of.

I probably could have let it roll right off.. but he's reacted like this before when I bring up anything future related. usually joking, because if anyone isn't ready t jump into anything, it's me. His reaction is always the same, like it's hysterical to even consider any kind of future with me.

Except that I've already had someone decide that a future with me wasn't worth anything. So when he laughs about it it makes me feel small and completely worthless. It's sometimes hard enough to believe that he doesn't think I'm weird and someone that he doesn't want to be around. I still find it hard to believe that he actually loves me, and my brain tells me daily that it's ridiculous to believe him. "He doesn't tell you that much, it must be bullshit." "He doesn't want you to meet his family, obviously he's embarrassed of you" "He doesn't want to see you, he just feels bad for you"

The problem that I had with how the conversation went wasn't what started it all though. It was his response to me bringing up wanting to keep my name.

"Yeah, that's really fucking weird to me"

Immediately backs off, arms crossed, won't look at me, I can see his jaw flexing.

Panic.

Because those are the things people do before they swing.

I tried to save things, i think.. I explained why it's important.

"You have your reasons, so whatever."

Panic x2

My brain is in overdrive because.. why? Why does that upset him? Why doesn't he want me to be close to my kids? I've worried so much about him and the kids, and worried that it was to early for him to meet them, worried that they're attached and will hurt even more than I will if it ends, worried that he doesn't like them, that they're too much. Why does he want me to break this little connection I have with them if its so important to me? I don't understand why he looks like he thinks I'm garbage.

He swears its not jealousy so I assume this is the explanation. He looks so angry that I can feel it. The waitress can feel it, the people around us are looking. I've stopped breathing and I don't know what I did wrong, but I do know that he's probably right about me being trash.

I cover my face to hide the fact that I'm gasping for air and can't get a breath, every muscle in my body is tense, my eyes are tearing and I'm watching his hands because they're in fists, but I don't think he would get that, I don't think he knew. I hope he didn't.

We kept talking and he thinks it is jealousy. He brings up the wedding photo on my laptop. He thinks that I'm waiting for my marriage to fix itself so I can go back to him.

His dad walks in and sits down with us before I can explain that I'd be dead if I was still in that marriage, but not before I can open my mouth and make things infinitely worse. Not before he tells me that what I said about it being ok that he's jealous makes him feel like shit. Not before he can say that he screwed things up and I can wonder what in the fuck he thinks he did wrong, I'm the one saying things that are hurting him when I'm just trying to make things better.

His dad sits down and the conversation is done. And it feels like I'm 17 again and everything I say gets turned around into something that ends the whole thing, before I learned that you can have a conversation about an issue and it can be ok, no one is going to walk out, no one is going to tell you the problem is with you and that you're not worth changing anything for. I'm 17 again and feel like I'm heading home to get pushed against a wall and screamed at. I'm 17 and it feels like when we get in that car his fist is going to his my head rest and it's going to be my fault. We walk out and I managed to be nice to his dad. I wish I could see his family on a night that isn't terrible. I wish it wasn't always a fluke that his dad turns up when we're together. I wish he wanted me to meet them. I wish I knew for sure that he doesn't get angry enough to hit. I do know that if I go home to my house i'll be safe from that, but not from me. I can do way more damage on my own.

He doesn't though, and we go back to his house and its ok. We lie on the couch and watch tv. I try to get his clothes off and he doesn't react, I don't know why, I assumed it's me. I tell him I thought about it and he's right, it's really weird for me to keep my last name to be the same as the kids.

I go to bed with him and I'm just a little bit less than I was before.

[alphamales-rp]

Will and Jackson had had a special relationship since the day his younger brother was born. Everyone in town and in their family knew Jackson to be the stoic, strong and silent type. He didn't interact with people more than he needed to and when he spoke, people listened. As a teenager, this continued, despite people seemingly magnitized to him for his height, his muscles, his good looks, his athletic talent- just because he was on the more quiet and distant side didn't mean he longed for friends or company- quite the opposite. However, there was one person- and one person only- that brought out a different side of Jackson, a side that was talkative and even playful ... and that was Will. He'd loved and protected his little brother for as long as he could remember and honestly, as they'd gotten older, they'd only gotten closer and so it really shouldn't be a shock to either of them that they would end up like this.

"My favorite," he smiled warmly when the other revealed the movie - one they'd watched countless times before, "Yeah, well, something tells me that from now on, with you around, I'm gonna be hard pretty much all the time," he retorted back playfully, stealing a few more kisses, "I'll buy you some this weekend," he promised, nuzzling his nose against the other's cheeks, "I just want to make sure I have easy access to this perfect, beautiful, incredible ass whenever I want," he explained with a devilish smile. "Sounds about right- if we keep this pace up," he agreed, his heart quietly thrashing with joy that his little brother's libido was just as wild for him as his was in return and also he felt himself giddy with excitement at the idea of having his way with Will in each and every room in the school- a little fantasy he'd had for a while now, only made more special for his brother being the one to realize it with him, "Sounds like the perfect plan," he grinned as the other worked out the logistics.

"You're not weird, baby ... I want them to see too," he said softly, punctuating the revelation with a kiss so that Will didn't feel weird, "Especially the guys from the team ... I want them jealous and begging me to get a turn with you or join us," he smirked. The movie played in the background but all he could do was stare lovingly at his little brother, reaching up to softly play with his long hair as they laid there and leaning in to kiss him whenever he turned around and wanted it. "Agreed," he smiled, "We should do that again- this time even longer on the road, more sights, more memories ... imagine how much better and incredible it's gonna be now that we're together together," he smiled, thinking about how their whirlwind trip would be even more exciting and memorable with their newfound romance. He held Will tightly and securely, kissing him languidly- as if he was savoring every little moment and every little feeling, "And I'm all yours and only yours," he reminded Will, "Your brother and your lover- nobody else's," Jackson murmured against his lips, absolutely loving the sound of his titles. "Let's go on a date this weekend," he proposed softly, "We'll go to that nice Italian place one town over that people are always raving about," he suggested, "Or anywhere, I don't care- as long as you're there ... I'd go for a picnic at the dump," he smiled as he joked as he nipped the other's lower lip, "I'dve suggest the movies but I got a feeling it'd just be an excuse for us to go at it in a public space for two hours."

The sudden motion of Jackson scooping Will into his arms pulled out the most playful laugh as he clung to the other man and enjoyed how his brother carried him around. It felt right, just being in those strong arms and nuzzling against Jackson's jaw while he was carried to the bed was almost like something out of the strangest gay fairytale that Will could've ever imagined. When he was laid back on the bed and kissed, his hands ran down over his partner's chest as tenderly as he could. "Sounds great to me... just don't take too long, I'll miss you too much" he said with a sweet smile, watching happily as his brother walked out of the room. He bit his lip just a little seeing that ass move, while he already knew he was easily the bottom in the relationship it was hard not to admire that perfect behind. When Jackson finally left, Will moved to get the remote and started figuring out what mindless thing to watch, only stopping occasionally to just enjoy the scent of Jackson that lingered on the pillow.

When Jackson returned, Will rolled over to look at him with the biggest grin, "I went with something classic, Die Hard... that way it won't matter if we stop midway through, plus seemed only right to have something with the word 'hard' in the title since you've been pretty hard for the last hour" he joked with a loving grin. making sure there was just enough room for Jackson as the man joined him on the bed. He happily snuggled back, making sure his firm muscular ass was right against Jackson's groin where he felt the most comfortable "Hmm, how about one of your shirts and the jockstrap? I don't think I could fit in your pants but your shirt should be just baggy enough to fit me, and the jockstrap will definitely be a little looser in the front but I can handle it" he turned his head a little to look into those eyes sweetly before he felt those lips against his and happily returned it with all the love he had. His hand reached back just enough to rest right on Jackson's hip, loving the way their very different bodies just fit together perfectly "Hmm, I'd say we'll probably get through it by the end of the month" he whispered "I mean, we'll probably get the locker room and bathrooms done tomorrow, broom closets by the end of this week and I'd say the cafeteria... hard part's going to be all the classrooms but I think we can pull it off, your charm and my nerdiness will probably get us excused every single time" he joked with a joyful grin "I just wonder how many people are going to see... I know it'd probably be bad if we got caught but a tiny part of me thinks it'd be hot if some of your football teammates caught us, does that make me weird?"

Will happily started the movie, one that he'd watched with Jackson more than a few dozen times so he knew it well. He could pretty much mouth along to the entire film by this point, so it didn't matter that much that he was just happily running his fingers along Jackson's side and turning back every now and then to sweetly kiss his brother. He sighed a little between each one, loving the tender moment of sweetness with the bigger man. "I think this might be the best thing we've ever done together and I'm definitely including that road trip we took last year... you really are the best brother and lover that a guy could ever hope for" he whispered, still kissing the man almost casually, fully enjoying the sensation of being held by his absolute dream man.

[ravencrowsatdusk]

I woke up to find a msg from my ex. Now I can say after the break up we remained friends. Hell he even sent me a wedding gift, I helped them draft their transition letter to his parents and even offered to be there when they told them and we stayed in contact with each other regularly up til maybe 6ish years ago.

Now about a year ago I noticed them looking me up on LinkedIn a lot but I basically ignored it cause after the past several hey how are yous and no response I just left it. If they wanted to talk, they will reach

And basicly the msg was like how they thought of me recently, saw where there was a close call with a close family member, and they saw on my fb how I visited another ex a while back[ I've stayed friends with all my ex's it's a thing lol I treasure my friendships yall] and how they miss me and they miss my friendships. And said they wished things would of worked out for us but we wanted different things and he couldn't give me what I wanted. Cause he couldn't give me all the love I needed and we would have constantly been in the cycle of him still trying to figure himself out and I would of been the one making all of the sacrifices to be with him. I would have been the one to move, I would of been the one to have to explain and be out to my parents [ this would of been before his transition] and how why take the risk of doing all that and it not work out?? And how they are happy it appears my marriage is doing great and all that jazz.

Just seems so out of the blue. But it happens I guess. Just don't know how I feel about it. Cause after that relationship ended I was in another relationship that was decently serious before that ended and I stumbled into the relationship I have with my now husband.

Like.. I know things worked out for the best cause my husband understands me in a way no one else ever had or cared too. I've never been made to feel stupid and I've always felt wanted, needed even. And ive worked hard to have better communication and i dunno i feel that my husband was the only one to prove to me they wanted me. Maybe thats a warped perspective. But I know one of my faults is I want to be serious and quick. Husband jokes and says it's the most Sapphic thing about me [insert uhaul joke]. I had expectations[probably to high and admittedly selfish] and at times I couldn't communicate that and or didn't realize how unrealistic they could be.

So in some ways I'm thankful that maybe they realized on some level it couldn't work cause i care big time for ppl and most of my relationships are friendships first. And I Def can't let go I have to have a connection with people. So if we can't be partners then let me have my friend back . Cause losing someone as a friend hurts just as much if not more[insomeways]And all friendships feel like relationships, so it's always this.... deep seeded feeling that goes along with it. And maybe that's why I can be friends with exs cause once you take out the romance of it basicly the same. The boundaries is hey we not gonna be physical(course I am weird about my body anyway when it comes to physical stuff anyway).Maybe it's not for everyone and can be complicated if you can't draw that line or distinction. Maybe I'm just able to put ppl in categories to make it easier. Maybe cause things never got physical it's easier?? I dunno.

Either way. Now I gotta find a good way of stating " it was for the best, I rather have friendships anyway cause that's what we were best at" maybe I can just say that. But we have talked about this before which is why it feels random. Maybe they are having a rough time recently or something. I dunno. I called my husband and talked to him about it [ cause I don't keep secrets and good communication is key] he said yeah its weird but maybe they feel excluded cause if I'm hanging out and going on trips to hang out with other friends[exs] maybe they want that too?? Or jealous that we seem to have a shit together more then some of the ppl we know. Or seeing the close call aka possible death shook them up enough to check in and instead of just being chill word vomit since it's been a while??? But word vomit is more my style but anything is possible. I try not to feel like ppl want something out of me just cause they being nice cause I'm nice too and I don't care for it when ppl assume that about me either ya know..... blah I've been over them for years and honestly I don't think it's a let's get back together or anything like that thing. Hopefully they know me well enough to know that ain't gonna work/happen. I wouldn't trade what I have for the world.

[kinetic-elaboration]

January 13: Halloween (2007)

Continued my every-Halloween-ever fest with Halloween (2007). It was...a movie. It was long. It was violent, but in a boring way.

Mostly, though, I just didn't get the point. What was the rationale for this movie existing?

Obviously the biggest thing it changed from 1978 was including Michael's back story--and quite a bit of it, too. I didn't think this part of the film (literally the first 1/2 hour) was good but nevertheless I started feeling a bit nostalgic for it later because, like, at least it was original. At least it brought something totally new to the table.

Did it seem to miss the point entirely--that Michael Myers is a cute 7 year old in an apparently happy or at least average family in a Stereotypically Suburban neighborhood, who then inexplicably picks up a knife and kills his sister, that there was nothing predictable about it, that its significance is that evil has no origin and no meaning and no purpose other than its own perpetuation? Yes. And was the explanation it did provide crass, cliche, and insulting? Oh yeah. Let's just throw every "white trash" stereotype in the book at his childhood and somehow it will all make sense I guess? The stripper mom was especially irritating--explain that one to me please. Intercutting her routine with Michael's sad Halloween right before he begins rampaging certainly made it seem like she was part of the problem here, and yet in other ways she seems quite sympathetic, a mom who is trying her best. But she must have infected him with some sort of weird relationship to sex, which is why he so often attacks naked ladies who've just fucked, right, because it's always the mom's fault, especially if she's a slut. Gag gag gag.

That said, at least it's something you can't get anywhere else. Once the movie gets to the Laurie part, it's only different to be worse. Laurie's characterization was bizarre--she didn't feel consistent to me, and I didn't find her sympathetic or particularly...nice. At some point I started wondering 'do teenagers really talk this way?' which I suppose is a question that could be asked about most of the Halloweens, but I've never thought to myself so baldly: this movie is trying WAY too hard. Laurie was simultaneously the deserving final girl but also she's fun, right, she's funny, she's crude, she jokes with her friends! I was off put by the crudity. I hate to say it and sound like a stick in the mud, but it's true. In my defense, I was the age of Laurie and her friends when this movie came out, and I didn't know anyone like them.

All of the time spent on Michael early on meant that even with a 2 hour run time, it had to squash down the bulk of the original Halloween. So it really was just the bare minimum, no time spent on things like Tommy's pumpkin being destroyed or Annie doing the laundry, etc. I don't know if this is a fair criticism or not, but it felt to me like there was very little creepy build up, at least in that second section. It felt like more time was spent on long and gruesome kills instead of what Halloween is so known for, at least in my mind, which is the creepiness, the waiting, the man in the shadows, the daylight horror, the suspense. There was some, yeah, but it felt like the bare minimum so we can get to the gore.

Similarly, though I appreciated the Meyers' and Strodes' Halloween house decorations, there was fairly little...actual Halloween? Suburbia in fall? Kids in costumes? Some, but again it felt like the minimum. Even the Big Horror Climax fell into the trap of many horror climaxes, which is that it was long and boring. And generic! The chasing of Laurie through the house isn't the BEST part of Halloween 1978, but it's one of the better horror climaxes imo, and I think part of it is that she is in the house, she's in a safe place. This one is like... let's take them to an uncertain location (the gross old Myers house but tbh I only got that when they fell off the upstairs porch) that is very dark so you can't really see anything and just have them run around in the shadows for 20 minutes. I almost fell asleep.

My biggest...I don't know if it's a complaint or just a puzzlement, is, what's the point? What's the core narrative here? I saw this comment on the trailer on YouTube that this one is better because the story is easier to follow or is explained more or something, which is unsurprising because some people hate nuance or uncertainty and love stuff spoon fed to them, but which is also ironic imo, because it was CONSIDERABLY less coherent, actually. Structurally.

Who is the protagonist? Where is our sympathy supposed to be? In the beginning, it seems to be with Michael, as much as is possible with a psychopath. His violence always comes after some slight, has some reason--yeah, it's disproportionate and yes he kills animals but his dad's so mean to him guys!!! He's bullied! Being institutionalized isn't fun, and Loomis doesn't care about him, he just wants to sell books and once he could do that, he abandoned Michael! Sure, it's bad to kill people but you can get why right????

But then once Laurie is introduced, the movie is faithful enough to 1978 to make it seem like you should identify with her. (This is the correct answer btw: Laurie is the protagonist and you should identify with her. Clover explains this well.) You can't care about both. From her point of view, he is the evil murderer who stabbed her two best friends, kidnapped her, and tried to kill her, too. He is the villain and she is the final girl.

So does the first half of the film not matter?

In other words, when Michael holds out the picture of them as children and she pretends to want to help him as a pretense for getting to his knife, are we to feel bad for him, and mad at her for being yet another meanie in his life? Or are we to cheer for her as the final girl who outsmarted the villain? It can't be both and pretending it's both isn't nuanced. It's messy.

I have mixed feelings about Loomis. He wasn't the worst part. But I feel like the flm fell a little into the cliche of reboots problematizing famous characters just because it's allegedly more interesting. I'm not saying Loomis in the original movies, especially the sequels, was beyond criticism. He was a Van Helsing type: crippled by his own hubris, for sure. But he was generally on the right side of the story, if not the hero, then at leas the voice of wisdom and knowledge. But like...what if he was just greedy? Wouldn't that be...a twist? I don't know. I didn't hate this Loomis but I wasn't sure what to make of him in many ways. And for his importance early on, and the twist they seemed to want to make with him, he didn't seem either terribly important or even terribly different from the 1978 version once adult Michael gets to Haddonfield.

A few things I did like... first, like all Myers Halloweens, it benefits from the excellent character design of Michael. It's not hard to make him creepy, and so there are some quite creepy shots and sequences. As I said before, I liked the Halloween decorations outside the main houses.

I thought it was very smart to cast such a Big actor for The Shape/Adult Michael. Not only did his physically imposing stature make him seem more supernatural or unnatural, but it contrasted with the young Michael, who we spend so much time with early on. The sight of him with his long, stringy hair, chained up, led slowly through the institution, is legit chilling. I also liked the look of the costume and the mask--easily the best mask since 1978.

The ending was an effective cliffhanger--the villain lives, the final girl lives, the main narrative is concluded, but there's nothing extraneous. This is ALL you need to know, no coda here. I did see the Tobe Hooper influence--that was straight out of Texas Chainsaw.

I also very much enjoyed the ending credits, splicing between the black screen credits and bits of home movie. Really made the mundane something disconcerting and frightening.

My favorite aspect and really probably the main thing this film brought to the franchise was the masks. Maybe this is because I find masks (of the entire-face covering variety) naturally frightening. But the emphasis placed on them was really, really good. Having Michael gravitate toward masks even before his killing spree and institutionalization was so creepy and the handmade masks that he made at Grove Hills were just extremely disturbing. That he would eventually devolve into silence and the obsessive creation of ways to hide his face was a true chef's kiss kinda revelatory moment for me. Yeah! Yeah that is what he was doing all those years! Headcanon accepted. Plus, while I'm not maybe 100% convinced that he does it to hide his evil or something, there wasn't too much time spent or emphasis placed on that little bit of exposition.

Okay, I wanted to be asleep like 2 hours ago. That's enough thoughts for now.