#but yeah she's so. she's a ferret. she does the weasel war dance. do you understand me.

[avephelis]

mutant cass is the creature that lives in my brain

[bluesmemethings]

Lord of Shadows starters

“like weapons, do you?”

“it must be worth a lot.”

“how do you know that?”

“people keep telling me that but it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“we bear the glories and the burdens of our names, the good and the bad our ancestors have done, through all our lives.”

“people are flawed.”

“I’m a pretty big deal.”

“so you were planning on running away I take it?”

“I don’t belong here.”

“I don’t need you. I don’t need any of you.”

“you might think you want to die, but trust me --- you don’t.”

“that’s basically a squid, right?”

“I’ve never been awarded a fish before.”

“I have won for you a fish, my fair one.”

“I couldn’t keep a fish alive, I kill plants just by looking at them.”

“does anyone want to tell him that goldfish are freshwater fish and can’t survive in the ocean?”

“just tell me that he makes you happy.”

“there’s a disturbing smell of calamari wafting from your general direction.”

“I wouldn’t be worried about him, I might be worried about you.”

“he’s just a kid.”

“you look like a cop.”

“you didn’t really think that would work, did you?”

“it could’ve worked.”

“a strange evening, forsooth.”

“don’t you ‘forsooth’ me.”

“most of us mind being naked in front of strangers.”

“really? you’ve never swum naked in the ocean?”

“are you on the floor?”

“I shouldn’t feel bad, right? He was a terrible person. I had to do it.”

“when people die, our dreams of what they could be die with them. even if ours is the hand that ends them.”

“tell me something fun. you haven’t talked about your love life in ages.”

“there’s never going to be anyone else for me.”

“everyone’s afraid of dying.”

“I realize it sounds ridiculous, but I know what I know.”

“I knew I was going to die, and I wasn’t scared.”

“I trust you to not ever give up.”

“don’t poke me with any of your weird little magic wands.”

“so what happens to me?”

“I mean your house is pretty screwed up with your agoraphobic uncle and your weird brother.”

“no, they’re afraid of you. there’s a difference.”

“have you ever wanted a really up-close look at a gross tentacle?”

“no one ever seems to say yes to that question.”

“who wants to carry the tentacle?”

“you’ve got to be kidding, I’m not jumping off that.”

“my father warned me you people would try to kill me.”

“yeah? and what happens if I splatter myself all over the floor?”

“you drive me wild with your sexy talk.”

“who knows what desires a sea demon might possess?”

“I mock you with my sugar cravings.”

“you have blood on your hand.”

“his hair’s too good. I don’t trust people with hair that good.”

“I’ll crash the wedding. I’ll jump out of the cake, but not in a sexy way. Like, with grenades.”

“he lied to me and I forgave him, and then he lied to me again --- what kind of idiot am I?”

“when someone’s been part of your life for that long, cutting them out is like cutting the roots out from under a plant.”

“if you make a wish on it, it’ll come true.”

“look, just let me beat him up for you. you’ll feel so much better.”

“I could beat him up with my feet. they’re registered as lethal weapons.”

“we’re going to get revenge on (name) by folding his towels?”

“there are ways you could hurt him without touching him.”

“no one can read someone else’s mind or guess their reasons. not even you, (name).”

“your heart feels something for her.”

“you and I, together, it would have been . . . such an easy thing.”

“passion is not easy. nor is the lack of it.”

“not everyone has the training to use every tool, and a weapon you don’t know how to wield is wasted.”

“am I the only one who’s read X-Men and realizes why this is a bad idea?”

“I didn’t realize I was lost. I never felt lost.”

“am I imagining you? I was thinking about you and now here you are.”

“when a decision like that is made by a government, it emboldens those who are already prejudiced to speak their deepest thoughts of hate. they assume they are simply brave enough to say what everyone really thinks.”

“no. that was not a human noise.”

“I need you. you might be surprised to hear that.”

“didn’t you all just catch a murderer?”

“besides, what else are you going to do? run away? and go where?”

“fiction is truth, even if it is not fact.”

“tell me again why you think they’re up to something?”

“it’s strange, the things that blind us.”

“I hate feeling like this. I hate being afraid. it makes me feel weak.”

“the way boys tell each other they love each other is very odd.”

“I’m going to use every bad word I know, and look up some new ones.”

“in sum, you may have to launder some of your own towels.”

“the only things he shares with his father are moodiness and a penchant for burglary.”

“it’s a lot more complicated than that, believe me.”

“is there some reason you don’t want to kiss me?”

“okay, I guess that suggestion was a little out of bounds.”

“not bad. you really put your back into it. I didn’t expect that.”

“an arranged marriage? how mundane and medieval.”

“I just don’t believe in doing something for nothing.”

“you’ve had enough dancing. and drinking.”

“I liked dancing with you.”

“I have never known anyone as human as you.”

“I never thought you’d even look at me, not someone like you.”

“you thought you were kissing me because you were intoxicated, not because you wanted to, or because you actually like me.”

“will you not come back to my arms for more kisses?”

“come and speak your words of challenge to my blade.”

“it’s not our strongest position, but it’s something.”

“(name) ! that’s how you black out and wake up the nest day under a bridge with a tattoo that says ‘I LOVE HELICOPTERS’.“

“sometimes we must deceive the ones we love.”

“I cannot be the instrument that causes him pain.”

“you enter a cave. inside the cave is an egg, lit from within and glowing. you know it beats with your dreams --- not the ones you have during the day, but the ones you half-remember in the morning. it splits open. what emerges?”

“you will be the champion of your people.”

“show no mercy, (name).”

“is that a ferret?”

“all that death and destruction and what will you gain?”

“whatever gods have done this, they are gracious to bring me the one my soul loves, in my last moments.”

“It is true as they say, the pain leaves you as you die.”

“I don’t need help! I don’t need to be saved!”

“I was baptized in blood and fire.”

“you are soft, gentle as angels are gentle.”

“you think angels are gentle. they are anything but.” 

“they bring justice in blood and heavenly fire. they take vengeance with fists of iron.” 

“their glory is such it would burn out your eyes if you looked at them. it is a cold and brutal glory.”

“do you think I am someone who has anything to lose?”

 “I might kill you for being so stupid.”

“weasel face, you’re surprisingly helpful when you want to be.”

“I said I was tired of threatening you, not that I was going to stop doing it.”

“how did you know I would need saving?”

“don’t feel bad, he always falls asleep yelling that.”

“I spent so much time looking for revenge, but finding it didn’t make me happy.”

“I will always choose you, too.”

“I thought I would die this night. I was prepared for it. I was ready.”

“for any blood ritual, willing blood is better than unwilling.”

“I would rather be mad in my way than yours.”

“I would bargain with you, and here are things I would not have you be ignorant of when we do.”

“times change, and so do alliances.”

“that is beyond your power.”

“are they ever useful?”

“you’re staying within these walls and that’s final.”

“I will always come back to you (name).”

“I don’t believe in providence, or an interventionist Heaven.”

“are you quoting shakespeare?”

“speaking of dreams, you have been in mine, and often.”

“we could together slay a frost giant or devour a deer.”

“then what are you doing here, if you are not family?”

“I sense the distance but do not understand its cause.”

“it’s clear none of you have practice in observing the dead.”

“I have done everything to get your attention outside of smacking you in the head with a ouija board.”

“is he in Heaven? I mean, it seems so unlikely.”

“if you steal any of the books from the library, I will know, and you’ll be sorry.”

“in my time children were seen and not heard, and they certainly didn’t complain.”

“it is better that you go, that I might forget your fair, cruel face, and heal my heart.”

“your pretense does not fool me, gnome. my eye will be upon you.”

“more scones, less death.”

“I didn’t know you were that invested in our relationship.”

“so you admit that you’re a control freak?”

“draw me like one of your french girls.”

“the first time we watched Titanic, you cried.”

“we’ll have to figure another way in.”

“who would ever want movies or TV when there are books?”

“so tell them I ran off there and you had to catch me.”

“no trespassers usually means the local kids have made it into a hang out and the whole place is covered with empty candy wrappers and booze bottles.”

“this doesn’t look deserted. not by a long shot.”

“why are you trying to ruin y good time?”

“I get my caffeine the way right-thinking people get it. from chocolate!”

“the only people that know about (name) are people he wants to know.”

“it’s not your fault, (name), she’s just being cruel.”

“Holmes never lets Watson do the talking. Watson is backup.”

“war like this benefit no one.”

“when you strike at a king, you must kill him.”

“not my favorite nickname. I prefer ‘Our Lord and Master’ or maybe ‘Unambiguously the Hottest’.”

“was that before or after you attacked him?”

“is this about my boyfriend? jealous, (name)?”

“love me, because nobody ever has.”

“that’s the problem with revenge --- you wind up destroying the innocent as well as the guilty.”

“is this like when the family dog dies and they say he’s living on a farm now?”

“you don’t know a lot of things about me.”

“sadly, that is his name. hence his life of evil.”