#but yeah i think its reasonable for people to hate astrology like. at a reasonable level

[exo-s-victory-lap]

My toxic trait is hating astrology

[youremyheaven]

Another Swati chiming in- yeah from what I've seen Rahuvians can have unconventional niche obsessions but will actually downplay how into it they are

like when someone brings up astrology to me or any of my other interests, I really put a lid on how much I know and act a lil nonchalant because it's weird how into it I am haha

Also- a terrible liar too :( it works because I have no interest in lying (unless it's for a very good reason), but eh. Although fwiw, other Swati natives ik irl are much better liars than me, I have other placements that deter that quality.

lmfao thats me irl ,, i hate being "known" for any one specific thing so whenever people ask me about anything, im just like yeah its whatevs (when im insanely deep into it lol) i like to play it cool because i feel like people misunderstand what these things mean, esp astrology cause in india people think you're a weirdo if you're deep into this stuff (being into astrology is synonymous with being superstitious and since astrology is a part of our culture, younger people associate it with older people and its uncommon to see someone young be fixated on it?)

yeah that makes sense. everytime i read someone's chart i always say xyz placement can make you a great ______ but because of abc placement it could hinder your ability to do that. placements dont exist in isolation, everything interacts with each other and different tendencies can be enhanced or hindered by other placements.

[linawritesocs]

oh boy we're really doing this it's rollo's vp

listen, i know it's january 2023, but i'm still obsessed with the masquerade event and i want to make more content with that event and nbc students the urge to write masquerade vignettes is so strong.

so! sol adopted rollo's assistant and i adopted his vp. they are our sons now. and here's a profile i made for my boy!

also i should mention that this is how i personally see him and he doesn't belong to me BUT. we got no canon info so I CAN DO WHAT I WANT

name: cole rayne [コール- ・レイン]

age: 18 y/o

gender: male

species: human

birth date: july 29

zodiac sign: leo

height: 174 cm

hair color: his hair is more brown in canon, but tbh i see his hair being a bit more pink? i prefer to use "faded pink" for him, but it looks more "pale violet red" here.

eye color: his eyes are the same color as his hair and again, they look more pale violet red here.

homeland: ???

family: father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, three younger sisters

school: noble bell college

dorm: ??? (do i look like i'm good at coming up with dorm names)

school year: third year

occupation: student

club: none, just like sebastian, he prefers to check up on other clubs with rollo.

best subject: astrology

dominant hand: right-handed

favorite food: junk food and anything that you don't have to cook yourself and can easily buy anywhere.

least favorite food: his spicy food tolerance is extremely low, so yeah, he hates food like that.

hobbies: surfing the net, gaming, online shopping

talent: none. he's not particularly good at anything and he's not really trying to get better at anything.

unique magic: "disobeying the order". whenever cole misbehaves, forgets/refuses to do something or simply does something stupid, he can easily make anyone forget about it and he can get away with it that way. it sounds very useful, however, it has its weaknesses: cole can wipe someone's memory only if cole let that person down or "disobeyed their order", so it's not like he can always do that, he must do something bad before he's able to use his magic. and also, his magic has its limits and he can use it only three times a day. he accumulates blot very quickly as well, so he must be careful with it, he actually has almost overblotted once.. but no one remembers it. and if he uses his magic too often on a specific person, that person will start slowly losing their memories and if cole doesn't stop, they can end up forgetting even their own name. that person may also start feeling very tired most of the time and lose the ability to sleep.

dislikes: working, studying

personality: cole is a very easygoing and carefree person, who loves having fun and hanging out with other people. he's also very interested in romance and dating, so you can often see him flirting with someone.. and failing. he's actually very awkward, even though he doesn't seem like that type of person. though he claims that being awkward makes him even cuter and someone will definitely fall in love with him one day. he's very serious about it and if someone makes fun of him for being single, he will literally fight them. even though most people would describe cole as "energetic", he's a lot more lazy than they think and he refuses to do anything that he sees as "pointless" or "meaningless", which is pretty much.. everything. he tends to use his unique magic very often, so that he doesn't have to do any work and he can make other people do his job. but again, his magic does have its limits, so he makes sure to behave when he's not able to use it. also, even though he hates paper work and other "boring" tasks, he's very good at things that require talking to people and making connections, so yeah, there's a reason why he's still the vice president. he also often offers rollo his help with more personal stuff, like simply listening to him talk or helping with his problems that are not related to the student council's work even though rollo doesn't trust him enough to ask for his help and cole just appears out of nowhere and goes "hey, you need anything? :D" he's also the guy who makes tea whenever the student council is having a meeting and yes, he has to force himself to make it sometimes because of how lazy he is, but there is a reason why he doesn't let anyone else do it. and yes, that reason is "maybe if he shows that he can do at least something useful, he won't get kicked out". he also has a 13 year old boy's sense of humor, which means that he has the same password he uses for everything and it's "coleisthebest69420lolol"

notable relationships:

when cole just became the vice president, he thought rollo was a bit scary and he didn't know how to act around him. however, he quickly got used to his company and like two weeks later he already was like "HEYYYY WHAT'S UP BUDDY HOW ARE YOU FE- okay. okay, sorry, president. sorry, it won't happen again. sorry." he actually tries to get to know rollo better and he often asks him about his hobbies, interests, friends, family- oh, okay, it's a touchy subject, okay. now that he's a third-year and has more experience, cole claims that he knows how to talk to rollo now and he's proud of being his vice president.. but he became one not because of being good at his job, but because of his luck. he's also the type to randomly give rollo dating advice even though he did tell him muiltiple times that he doesn't need it. but cole thinks he does.

cole likes to call sebastian his best friend, though their relationship wasn't that good when they just met. cole kept annoying him and he didn't respect his personal space at all, trying to become closer with him. their relationship eventually got better, mostly thanks to sebastian enjoying doing the work that cole was supposed to do. LIKE HELLO HE CAN JUST MAKE THIS GUY DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM AND HE WON'T MIND, LET'S GO. and cole is the one who does most of the talking, if sebastian doesn't feel confident or comfortable enough. cole is secretly jealous of him though, because he thinks and knows that sebastian is much more talented than him and he's also jealous of his looks. it's not like cole is not pretty, it's just.. he thinks the assistant boy is more beautiful than him. but even though he's jealous of him, he's actually very protective of him and if sebastian gets bullied by someone, he's already here and he's ready to beat that person up.

cole met merrill during nrc students' visit to nbc and he thought he was interesting right when he saw him. he had a lot of fun talking to him and he jokingly tried to flirt with him once and he did not expect merrill to flirt back. so he ran away and hid behind sebastian because he is not strong enough for this. their dynamic is actually kinda funny because of how 😄😆😜🤣 cole usually is, but when it comes to merrill, he immediately goes 😳👉👈 they kept talking online after merrill had to go back to nrc and they're very close now.. but cole is still too scared to make the first move. he will punch anyone who makes fun of him for that.

fun facts:

he's actually not from the city of flowers and he lived in a small village before moving there, so he's kind of.. you know. he's a country boy, even though he absolutely loves the internet and knows all the latest trends. his family thought he should go to nrc at first and they thought he would feel right at home there, however, they realized that if he goes to a school like nrc, his behavior will most likely get worse, so they sent him to nbc, hoping that he will become more responsible there. his mom also comes from the city of flowers, so she knew a lot about it and she told cole everything he needed to know.

his sisters are much younger than him, the oldest one is 10 years old and the youngest one was born when he already started attending nbc and he was able to finally meet her only after coming back home for the summer break. he's not the best older brother though and his little sisters are much more hardworking than him.

his nrc dorm would most likely be heartslabyul and his phone case design is a reference to that.

even though the original npcs don't really have a height difference, cole is much shorter than sebastian and rollo. he's also the same height as avery.

if sebastian is inspired by snowball, it can be said that cole's disney counterpart is phoebus and his unique magic is a reference to phoebus being the captain of frollo's guard and going against him. however, cole's magic somehow manages to be a much darker, but also funnier version of it, because if his disney counterpart stopped following his boss's orders because he realized that he's been working for an evil and cruel man.. cole just uses his magic because he's lazy and he doesn't want to work. the dark part is that he mostly uses his magic on rollo, so it means he's been brainwashing the student council president for like.. a year or two. y-yeah.

no one knows about cole's unique magic because they obviously wouldn't remember him using it on them/in front of them and he also hasn't told anyone either. he also doesn't see a reason why he should talk about his unique magic, if their president's mood gets worse whenever magic is mentioned.

just like sebastian, he likes romance media a lot, though he doesn't really have a cute reason for it. it's just that romance media is one of the things that actually makes him feel something. for example, other student council members have noticed that cole is usually more interested in romance movies and comedies, but he's mostly emotionless when he watches something else, even horror movies.

according to molly, malleus's cousin who goes to nbc and hangs out with rollo, cole and sebastian, cole most likely has depression because they used their unique magic on him which allows them to understand other people's feelings better and they found nothing but emptiness inside of him, which explains why he finds everything tiring and he doesn't have any motivation.

cole becoming rollo's vp was the only moment in his life when he actually tried to achieve something. he tried to get the vice president position just because it sounded fun and he had nothing to do, also his mom said that he should try "doing something great" so that his life feels more meaningful. he got it mostly thanks to his luck, because most people were too scared to work with rollo and thought they didn't deserve it. cole was scared of him as well but he managed to get over his fear and rollo thought the student council could use a sociable and extroverted person like cole. also cole's grades were surprisingly good for a guy like him.. totally not because of his unique magic. totally. so it's actually kind of wholesome, cole doesn't want to get kicked out and he even agrees to do the work he finds boring so that rollo won't get mad at him, but only because being a part of the council is the only thing that makes his life more interesting and fun.

he also secretly works for seth's sister, luna, who ended up in twisted wonderland after trying to find her brother. the reason? uh.. she's pretty. that's it, really. he does start questioning her motives when he ends up getting attached to rollo and seth and realizes that luna is actually not a good person.

[chemicalpink]

If it’s alright with you could you do an astrology post about how bts would flirt with a person they were attracted to?

So.. god I really hate disclaimers because I like to believe that we are all reasoning people, plus there’s a general disclaimer on my page BUT I know for a fact that people don’t read that (those same people won’t read this one anyway).

Disclaimer: This analysis/reading is based on my experience and knowledge of astrology, it is not meant to be the absolute truth, as BTS are real people, and astrology can only capture so much about multidimensional humans that have had past experiences and cultural approaches amongst other things, it does not have to resonate with you since this is in no way related to anyone reading it (unless you are a member of BTS in which case, get out of here lol ) This is just for entertainment purposes.

OKAY NOW THAT THAT’S OVER by default, Venus and Mars could give us an insight into their love styles, but I’ve already got reading about those here, here, and here 

We are going to use those BUT I’ll focus on their EROS (if you want me to do actual research and post a full love life analysis for each member, let me know in my ask)

SO BASICALLY THIS IS BTS’  FLIRTING STYLE ACCORDING TO THEIR VENUS, MARS, AND EROS. 

Kim Seokjin ʕっ˘ڡ˘ςʔ

I feel like a dad joke to tune into the other person’s humor is his way to go.

His Eros in Scorpio points to someone blunt in his approach, so something along the lines of overly flirting pick-up lines.

His Cancer Mars points to his overall romantic self so if Kim Seokjin is flirting with you prepare to live a drama scene where you feel like the only person in the world.

His Capricorn Venus reinforces the fact that this man is straightforward when flirting, and is very VERY selective as to who they approach.

So all in all, these three placements tell me that Kim Seokjin is a man that loves the fact that people are so multidimensional and he is here for it! he wants to know everything about the person he decided to approach because this man’s standards are over the top and he knows it. 

There's a lot of talking involved while getting to know each other, although he drops facts about himself here and there along with some funny storytimes, he will make it all about you.

A gentleman at his finest, drop you by your house, make sure you’re not cold, that you’re enjoying your food, that you’re comfortable.

This man’s way into your heart is ultimately his actions + his humor.

Min Yoongi�� /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

He’s... silent. Kinda shy, okay very shy, unless you gave off a great vibe, you’re not getting past awkward introductions and anxious small talk.

If you make it past introductions(because let’s be real, this man’s standards? impossible to fulfill), you’re in for a ride.

His Eros in Capricorn makes him crave to connect in a physical sense, even if it’s just hand-holding during dates, funny enough, this placement is the hardest one to make him open up so.. he’s not talking much about himself.

EVEN FUNNIER his Aries Venus points to someone bold and confident, which I can totally see him doing, the first move if he sees someone that plays into his idea of perfection.

Idk why it just strikes me as he knows what he wants from people, he’s not afraid of a challenge and chase, and his boldness as well as need for physical touch, makes him a great candidate for a fun short term, especially since his Eros signals that he pretty much values work more than love life.

Yoongi is... very much handled by his ego self, so he might be aloof at times, it has to do with his terrible high standards, a somewhat fear of intimacy and love for his work that keeps him from any type of social life (because he values work too much), but this man is also very romantic, and a great listener, as it is told by his Cancer Mars.

It’s all a matter of getting through his hard skin to get to the mushy Yoongi he doesn’t let many people experience.

Jung Hoseok ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ

This man loves a challenge, the thrill of the chase, not very healthy if you ask me but hey, you do you.

Playing hard to get will most certainly interest him. As well as letting him help you so he can “save the day”. This is all according to his Aries Eros. 

True to his Eros, his Aquarius Mars makes him be the biggest fan of flirting, and he obviously succeeds, thanks to his huge charisma and wittiness. 

LISTEN- THIS MAN as oblivious to affection as he is, can flirt with a whole group of people at once.

Free-spirited and quick-witted people are his cup of tea since it makes it easier for him to keep the flirting flow going.

I know I’ve said it many times before in this post, ISN’T IT FUNNY his Pisces Venus points to him being shy and awkward but cute, which I think pretty much describes Hobi, minus the shy.

So all in all, Hoseok flirting magnet, he is all smiles and will fill your heart with cute stuff and funny things, also, KING of not giving off mixed signals, he doesn’t even have to say a word, he flirts with his whole body.

KIM NAMJOON “φʕ•ᴥ•oʔ

THIS MAN BEING AN EROS IN LIBRA MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. He has a more traditional sophisticated way of flirting, kinda like courting.

It also makes him very giving, up until the relationship is off-balanced, then things end, so yeah, he likes to give, but he also likes to receive just as much. 

Also, very much into intelligent refined people. 

Just like Yoongi and Jin, he has a Cancer Mars, which only heightens his leaning towards traditional love and courting.

He will be devoted even when flirting, wanting to know everything about the other person, even on the first date, just- very very soft Joonie.

Lowkey, as poised as he is, his Scorpio Venus will give everyone a run for their money on terms of flirting. This man knows whats he's doing and how much he affects the person he is flirting with.

He’s just- so used to flirting and connecting with people that he doesn’t have an outcome in mind, just finds flirting fun and exciting.

Basically, Namjoon is a man that knows what he wants and how to get it, but flirting stages are just so common to him, he does it out of boredness, not that he doesn’t want to connect with people, quite the contrary, he finds people so amazing, it’s just- flirting doesn’t have an endgame for him.

Might I dare to go as far as to say, Kim Namjoon might end up in a relationship by accident just because he didn’t know when to end his constant flirting. 

PARK JIMIN  •᷄ɞ•᷅ 

His Eros in Pisces makes him one of the more emotionally passionate of the bunch, to an unhealthy state, in which he may manipulate himself in order to satisfy the other person. 

There’s a lot of thought going into dates, small gifts “because they reminded me of you” and a lot of cute stuff. Very Very passionate.

He has a Scorpio Mars, so as much as he is passion-driven and very much into cute stuff, and believing that he should 100% merge with the other person, he knows what he’s doing when he flirts.

Different from Namjoon, Jimin doesn’t just flirt for funsies, he entertains the idea of love when flirting, future plans, meeting the parents, he can just see it all.

AND he also has a Scorpio Venus so he is definitely aware of all his flirting and how he affects the other person, especially since there’s a lot of sex appeal going into it.

Not so much a mystery himself, but he tries to be the perfect fit for all. Which might ultimately hide behind this perfect partner facade. 

This man doesn’t just end up in a relationship by accident, this man falls in love on accident.

KIM TAEHYUNG ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

We’ve got another one in love with the thrill of the chase.

Tae also has Eros in Aries, so there’s a lot of playfulness involved in flirting, from banter to playfully shoving the other person aside.

Might also be into dates where he can compete with you, like arcade, or something that he disguises as competition but he knows beforehand he’ll win.

Someone tell him it’s not healthy to crave impossible relationships, anyway, he’d love to be the shinning armor in his love story.

He has Capricorn Mars, which makes him have an honest, practical, and straightforward style of flirting.

The vibe check is real, so unless you pass it with flying colors, do not expect to be flirted with.

Although, his whole aura screams social and flirty due to his Aquarius Venus, which involves a lot of charisma and a great sense of humor. 

Just like Hobi, Tae can flirt with a bunch of people at once without even trying.

JEON JUNGKOOK  ₍ᐢ ̥ ̞ ̥ᐢ₎ ♥

Flirting for Jungkook is more of a mental game than an emotional one, according to his Eros in Gemini. 

Now listen, the nerdier, the better. But you would have to approach him first, as much as he enjoys the idea of talking to people, he doesn’t really do it that well.

Just like Jimin, he has Scorpio Mars, so in line with flirting being a mental game, he knows his game plan, his moves, he knows how people will react to them, he knows what he wants, and more importantly, how to get it.

He very obviously knows about his sex appeal and uses it as an advantage, even though at first he’s kinda awkward about it.

Much like Namjoon, he enjoys flirting so much that he doesn’t even need to have an endgame in mind. He likes to hear people talking about their passions and loves it even more if he learns a thing or to about it in the way, but his awkwardness comes through when he doesn’t really measure that most of the time when you flirt its because you’re interested in pursuing a romantic relationship.

His Libra Venus also plays the part, since it signals him being flirty and witty without even trying, just a man, his beauty, his charm, and his charisma. 

He’ll do anything possible to make you feel like you matter, even going as far as daring to hold your hand just because (which is a great pointer t know if he is really interested or just flirting bc he can)

Ultimately, his flirtation serves as a means to cheer themselves and other people up.

[astrolology]

The Love-Hate Relationship with Stelliums (Pt. 1) ✨

Guysss pls remember that astrology is holistic and this should be read taking into account your overall chart placements, as well as the planets in your stellium and what sign rules your stellium. TAKE NOTE lol

1st house

❤️: You may be a person who is very driven towards a particular goal, single-minded in behavior and with a sense of determination that is hard to beat. The focus is on self-improvement and is rather internally driven - there can be large amounts of time focused on figuring one’s identity out. You’re not afraid to say things as they are - you’re able to dish out criticism hard but you give credit when its due. You extend the courtesy you receive to others. You may have an innate sense of wisdom that you keep deep within that you don’t let slip unless to extremely close ones but in times of hardship you are a good source of motivation. You always seek to improve yourself and it’s hard (if not impossible) to drag you down because of your strong personality and how you tend to always move on no matter what. I think 1st house stelliums are the embodiment of “don’t look back” and y’all always try to make the best out of every best situation, sort of like seeing the silver lining in everything. And also when crises emerge you’re able to keep a calm head on your shoulders and are good at making snap decisions, which makes you good on your feet!

👹: I don’t think y’all are as self-absorbed as ppl make you out to be but there’s definitely an element of self-centredness such that when you do something, you often consider what is most convenient or productive for you. You might get upset when your plans are disrupted but sometimes do the same to others even though you might be aware of what you’re doing - in that aspect, 1st house stelliums can be hypocritical. For you, there is never enough - you’re never satisfied with anything, be it yourself or for other things so you can seem really unappreciative. Keep in mind that you also tend to force others to agree with you and don’t be so quick to dismiss the other party’s POV no matter how dumb it seems. Remember that there’s always something to learn from other people, no matter their status. You need to work on expressing your appreciation to others in a more genuine manner (altho I know y’all do it in gruff, slightly awkward ways when sincere - kinda cute ngl).

2nd house

❤️: You may be a person who has a strong moral code and has a staunch value system that you won’t deviate from no matter what. Sense of loyalty is usually unbreakable and it can take a lot to truly anger you. You can have a good financial sense and good instincts/foresight that allow you to plan ahead for stability’s sake. More often than not in certain areas you are a master of categorising and structuring things which means that your mind is analytical, critical and (usually) organised. You hate it when people think they know you because you (understandably) know yourself the best - there are many privatised layers of yourself that you prefer to keep... private so yeah it just annoys you when that happens. Y’all are a leader in certain aspects of your life and even though 2nd house stelliums tend to prefer being the right-hand man, your control freak tendencies come out and you end up leading anyway. You become really productive because of the fear of failure - you have crazy high expectations for yourself and expect the same of your closed ones (although ultimately you’ll support them in whatever they do). There is an appreciation for the finer things in life and when it comes to your loved ones you’re not afraid to spoil them hard. 

👹: Be careful not to let this driving need for stability restrict you from spontaneity and following your heart’s desire. There is an inherent inflexibility in your nature; stubbornness can really be your kryptonite. You don’t really take any opportunities that you think might threaten your security which, while giving you a stable fort, can hold you back in your own happiness + prosperity. You might realise that there is a limit to your perspective but really struggle in seeing outside of that perspective mainly because you spend so much time thinking about what matters to you that you’ve become accustomed to your train of thought (altho when you do break it it’s lowkey groundbreaking). The focus on this house is on stability, not only on material wealth, so while you may be reaping in one aspect you might tend to lack on the spiritual or emotional elements of life. You can be very, very controlling and demanding so you might want to tone it down a little if not people might get the wrong impression. People might think of you as judgemental (and you are tbh) but I believe it’s just 2nd house stellium’s way of assessing a person’s character/abilities. 

3rd house

❤️: You may be a person who puts in a lot of effort into various forms of self-expression (not limited to verbal communication but also finding a specific niche such as music, art, writing etc.) Your brain is naturally sharp and inquisitive and you may be able to pick things up very quickly. You might be rather adaptable but are surprisingly stubborn when it comes to your opinion or intellectual capabilities. You might have a dark/dirty sense of humor and because of that you also have a keen ability to see past the societal nuances of propriety and get to the heart/root of whatever a person is saying. You can spend your entire life trying to understand people and why things work the way they work - your brain needs to be stimulated in order for you to feel alive. Passion for you has to be applied in a productive manner - you probably aren’t a person to just take a passion for something as a mere hobby. Rather, you would either apply that passion to one of your existing projects, create a new one or use it as a motivating factor. Your interests are wide and varied, which makes you really well-rounded in certain aspects! 

👹: Many people say y’all are flighty beings and I can certainly see why they would think so. Because of your perceptiveness, you tend to change your narrative whenever you’re speaking to different people, so as to make yourself sound more convincing. In that aspect, you can be quite manipulative. Your ego probably isn’t the smallest either haha - you can tolerate being slighted at some things but if it’s a challenge to one of your passion projects you’ll probably become very upset. You need to stop giving people the hot and cold shoulder all the time and even though you’re quite sociable you tend to flaunt but hide your true thoughts. You have to be more open and honest in your self-expression, and not that idealised, constructed version of yourself you think people will find interesting. I’ve noticed that 3rd house stellium ppl have an obsessive need to “stand out” and make themselves feel unique which, despite all your charms and popularity, might be the reason why you find yourself sometimes so isolated. You’re a perfectionist (although you would deny it) and secretly quite controlling but unlike other stelliums you can manage it better I feel. 

4th house

❤️: There is a pressing insistence regarding relationships in your inner circle - be it your family, closest friends, or your future family. Extended focus on your cultural heritage can also be possible. Deep down, compassion is at your core and you are very protective of your friends in a silent but aggressive way. Having a stable family life is very important to you but I’ve noticed that more often than not, 4th house stelliums have turbulent family relationships. The beauty of 4th house stelliums is their ability to break through whatever toxic relationships they’ve been in and to create families of their own - be it unconventional or not. They are the epitome of “we choose our own families”. Y’all can be very empathetic and rather selfless to the point where you allow yourself to be manipulated (even though you’re aware of it) - but it’s usually for a justifiable reason. You find it easier than most to balance the emotional landscape but there are moments where you need an outlet to express yourself. There can be an obsession/possessiveness over your own culture - you take pride in your roots and become lowkey insulted when people disrespect it (and if you don’t, you somehow nearly always manage to find some other culture to assimilate yourself in). 

👹: Y’all probably get very upset when things don’t go your way but the problem with this stellium is that there is a want to speak out but you choose to bury everything inside instead - giving you a very passive-aggressive and even aloof image. Internally, you guys might think that you are giving off a very soft/giving aura but some people are wary precisely because you are hard to read. You are very, intensely private (rivalling 2nd/7th house tbh) and you have to learn how to share your true thoughts, no bullshit, no suger-coated thoughts with your family and dearest friends even though you are capable of handling yourself. You are independent, ambitious, and people often underestimate you, but you have to let people in first in order for them to know what you’re capable of! Also, idealisation of certain things (eg. a future family life/partner) can be prevalent and you overthink things to the point where sometimes you make yourself miserable. Again, please talk to someone hahaha you don’t have to deal with everything yourself. 

5th house

❤️:  Insecurity runs rampant in any 5th house stellium BUT y’all are quite paradoxical in a sense that you also have a very strong aura of confidence. Sometimes, in crucial moments, you manage to convince yourself and others that you are the most important person in the room haha - literally the epitome of “fake it till you make it”. Still, a deeply rooted kindness is found in 5th house stelliums such that you’re always looking out for the underdog in the room. If you are developed you probably have a strong sense of righteousness which prompts you to look out for people who might be struggling. Y’all are very concerned about your physical appearance and most of the time you like to keep your body in good shape, which draws the attention of people in the room. You likely have an infectious smile (this is just a hunch but I don’t believe 5th house stelliums smile a lot - y’all quirk your lips or smirk but a true smile is rare so when you do... it melts the hearts of people). Everything that you do will have a youthful flavor and you have a healthy appreciation for downtime/self-care so while you might not (contrary to popular belief) be that fond of kids, kids are attracted to you. Oh and actually I think the stronger this stellium is in a person, the shyer the person seems at first impression but inwardly and as time goes by, they become more humorous and dramatic. 

👹: You aren’t exactly manipulative, but you know how to use the power of suggestion (and your charms) to get what you want. If unchecked, it’ll become a habit because to you, it’s an instinctive thing to do and you might not realise you’re hurting other people because of it. You are stubborn and prideful (which isn’t a bad thing sometimes but) you take criticism quite badly such that if a person tries to offer their opinion or goes against your beliefs, you might take it as a personal attack. You have a fear of being restrained/constricted (like 9th house) so you’re actually quite aggressive to those who you perceive to be a threat to your authority. You can also experience extreme mood swings (from crazy happy/hyper to melancholic in a snap) and when you do you expect people to give you attention. But you are hypocritical in this aspect because you yourself can be quite insensitive to other people’s feelings, or you brush them off if you’re not “in the mood”. 

6th house

❤️: You are most probably quite an organised person, not in a tidy way (although you could be) but in matters of life there’s an insistence on order and structure. The way you think can be very logical - you are able to think concisely and connect the dots in a quick manner and logic is probably prevalent in everything you do. However, in contrast to this pragmatic behavior, you are deeply caring and you won’t think twice to give up something if a loved one needs it. You are very disciplined in certain aspects of life and you are able to maintain a consistent effort in everything that you do. You’re probably someone who finds joy in small things and although you have high standards, it doesn’t take much to make you happy, as long as it’s genuine. You can be a perfectionist and really quite meticulous in your work which makes you someone who is detail-orientated. You give a lot of yourself to other people and most of the time you don’t expect anything in return, which is one of the great things about 6th house stelliums. You take effort into maintaining your physical health and you mighttt be a fitness freak or someone who keeps track of their diet really carefully. It’s likely that you encourage other people to follow your lifestyle and generally, you exert a sort of mellow influence around other people that makes them want to be better. 

👹: There’s a tendency for 6th house stelliums to fall into pessimism, precisely because of your pragmatic nature. Y’all may say that you’re being “realistic” but in actuality it does dampen the spirits of some people. You can also become really unreasonable and inflexible once you’ve made up your mind on something and that makes you a bit narrow minded because you simply refuse to listen to other people’s POV. This can also cause tunnel vision which can really limit your full potential and I think it’s something worth spending your time working on. When pushed into a corner or feeling insecure, y’all might try to cover it up by being condescending or giving the cold shoulder. There’s also a risk of being overly reliant on a schedule/structure and hence, cautiousness when it comes to being spontaneous or embracing something foreign. Because of your affinity towards maintaining health, your hypochondriac tendencies may be exacerbated and you need to try to lessen your over-worrying behaviour haha. Although you never dish out something you can’t receive (eg. high expectations - you’re truly your worst critic), your demanding tone can really make others cautious of you.

OVERALL, I strongly believe that the way to embrace your stelliums isn’t to reject or force yourself to change the values they represent, but rather taking those eccentricities and moulding it into something more precious and beneficial to yourself. It has to be done with a thorough understanding of yourself; with patience. 

-C

[twstbrainrot]

TWIST FRIENDSHIP MASHUP!

My name is Maya, I go by she/her/they, I’m an INFP 💞. Personality wise, I’d say I’m pretty calm and mellow usually but with the right people(I trust and feel comfortable with) I can really get hyper and silly. I love making others laugh and make them feel like they can be themselves around me with no judgment ☺️ I’m caring and kind, I see the world through rose colored glasses but that doesn’t mean I’m ignorant; it’s my choice to focus on the good versus the bad. Hopeless romantic 💗!! I love taking naps!! They are the best, I’m highly emotional so I need my time to recharge 😅. I also enjoy things like pottery, crocheting, cooking, reading; I prioritize doing things that bring me joy, usually being creative hobbies. Few pet peeves are probably loud noises, hateful people(for no just reason), injustice, and heat, I can’t stand the heat🔥😭. Having fun with a friend would probably consist of the both of us just laughing our asses off, lots of fun !! Going to cafés, window shopping, maybe going to museums and such, but probably something we both enjoy and being able to experience that with each other. Also just hanging out inside, maybe watching a movie and talking about it! I’m usually the mom friend, always making sure everyone is alright. Dorm wise, I’m honestly not sure, but I’ve taken those dorm quizzes and I always end up in Heartslabyul so 🤷‍♀️. Fave subject would probably be Astrology and maybe potion class. I’d join the mountain lovers club 💗💗😭!! I love nature and wildlife etc. Last but not least, it’s quite hard picking a character I don’t really like cause I think they are all very well fleshed out but if I had to think of meeting them irl I’d probably say Rook? I honestly like him but I feel like he can be pretty insistent and on top of you and that would probably make me uncomfortable 😬. So yeah that’s about it! I’m sorry if this was too long, I kind of just poured myself out here 😂 thank you so much, have a lovely day/evening/night 💗💫!!!

Hey Maya! Thanks for your submission and patience. Something something excuse for my inexcusable delay 🤔

Kalim. Kalim. Kalim.

Dude. You two are balls of sunshine. A supernova if you will. There are no bad times to be had here. #goodvibesonly #hashtagsarecringenowbutiwillusethemspitefully

Definitely many friend-dates to wherever Kalim can drag you for the day. Oh, you want to go window shopping? Allow Kalim to take you on an elephant ride to Scarabia’s uptown market. You want to take a cooking class? Not to worry, he’s inviting you to the palace to learn from his private chefs (and set up a grand feast). Movie night? Yeah no he’s also chill with just hanging at Ramshackle with you and binging whatever romantic comedy y’all can find (and begging Jamil to cater it)

Nap time under a cool cabana somewhere whenever the sun is at its height. Kalim’s pretty high energy but I think the dude’s emotionally intelligent enough to tell when you’re suffering under the Scarabian heat and need a break :) I wanna sleep on their comfy little ground carpets

[stellar-lune]

*KOTLC incorrect quotes*

Anyways, a long list of incorrect KOTLC quotes, feel free to use these for anything if ya want!

-

Glimmer: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

-

Fitz: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Fitz: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

-

Keefe, holding up his class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like “Chipotle”.

Marella, in shock: Wait a minute, is it “Chip-o-tottle”?

-

Sophie: I wasn't hurt that badly. Elwin said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

-

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.

Marella: I choose to waive that right!

Marella: *screaming*

-

Brant (whoops sorry bout this one): Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

-

Sophie: I would never say that my best friend is a bitch and I don’t like her. That’s not true… Biana is a bitch and I like her very much!

-

Lex, Bex, Rex: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

-

Keefe on Tuesday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Keefe on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

-

Forkman, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

-

Keefe, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Keefe, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?

Keefe: Somebody moved my E.L. Fudges, and now I am going to run away again.

-

Tam: Your existence is confusing.

Keefe: How so?

Tam: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

-

Sophie: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

-

Linh: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

-

Dex: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

-

Sophie: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Sophie, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

-

Dex, to Stina: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

-

Sophie: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.

-

Dex: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one, Wonderboy.

-

Marella: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

-

Fitz: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

-

*out grocery shopping*

Linh: *takes a free sample twice*

Linh: Robbery and fraud. I am a Rebel (TM) .

-

Sophie: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

Sophie: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

-

Sophie: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

-

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Tam: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

-

Dex: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”

Dex: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Dex: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!

-

Tam: Hey, what’s the name of the other guy who lives with Tiergan?

Linh: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Tam: That's not what I asked.

Linh: That is all the information I have.

-

Keefe: Ro, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?

Ro: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

(alternatively, Alden)

-

Linh: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

Tam, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

-

Marella: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Marella: *slow-mo walks out of the room*

-

Biana: I'm gonna get my piolet's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses.

Fitz: The big five licenses?

Biana: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

-

Dex: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Fitz: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Biana, do you think I have anger issues?

Biana: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

-

Keefe: So how’s the food Sophie made?

Fitz: It's great! Compliments to her.

Keefe: *goes to the kitchen*

Keefe: You're adorable.

Sophie: *blushes*

-

Biana: And now for a gay update with Linh and Marella.

Marella: Getting gayer.

Biana: Thank you, Marella.

-

Sophie: Hey, do you know the password to Keefe’s computer?

Biana: I love you, Sophie.

Sophie: Aww, that’s so swe—

Biana: No, you misunderstood, the password is "iloveyouSophie".

Sophie: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

-

Fitz: Hey, Biana, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Biana: Yeah.

Fitz: And you, Tam?

Tam: Umm... yes?

Fitz: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Biana: Did he just-

-

Sophie: Do you cook?

Biana: I made a cake once.

Fitz: Yeah, it was good.

Biana: Really?

Fitz: Don’t make me lie twice, Biana.

-

Dex: Nice rock.

Keefe: Thanks, Tam gave it to me.

Tam: I threw it at you!

Keefe: Isn’t he the sweetest?

-

Juline: I just had a long talk with the triplets about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

-

Sophie: I made you all playlists!

Sophie: Tam, yours has only heavy metal and punk, and is dark like your soul.

Sophie: Keefe, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Sophie: And Biana has the ABBA Gold album.

-

Fitz: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Biana: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Dex: A realist sees a freight train.

Tam: The train driver sees three idiots standing on train tracks.

-

Mr. Forkle: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Biana, Keefe, & Sophie: Okay.

Mr. Forkle: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Biana: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Keefe: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Sophie: Bold of you to assume I can die.

-

Sophie: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Keefe: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Dex: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Marella: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

-

Biana: What’s it like being tall?

Marella: Is it nice?

Sophie: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Fitz: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

-

Stina: You have friends and I envy that.

Marella: You're welcome to share my friends.

Stina: *looks at Dex and Sophie*

Stina: I don't want those.

-

Della: Tommorrow's garbage day.

Fitz: I can't believe you made a whole day dedicated to Alvar.

-

Linh: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.

Tam: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

Linh: Th-that's not how that works-

-

Marella: Do you want to know your gay name?

Linh: My... my gay name?

Marella: Yeah, it's your first name-

Linh: Haha. Very funny Marella-

Marella: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Linh: Oh- oh my god.

-

Glimmer: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

The Black Swan: Those are wanted posters!

-

Biana: Are you mad?

Tam: No.

Biana: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

-

Keefe: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.

Biana: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.

-

Biana: *on the phone* Hey Fitz, do you know my blood type?

Fitz: Of course, it's A+.

Biana: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

-

Fitz, to Sophie: Are you ready to commit?

Sophie: Like, a crime or a relationship?

-

Literally Anyone: Hey, aren’t you Sophie Foster?

Sophie: You a Councillor?

Literally Anyone: No.

Sophie: Then yes, I am.

-

Sophie: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Stina:

Sophie: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Stina: I’m gay—

Sophie: Not what I meant, but cool.

-

Keefe: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?

Sophie: No, I said "Keefe, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

-

Mr. Forkle: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material.

Sophie: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

-

Juline: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

-

Marella: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Marella: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

-

Biana: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend friendship on new clothes

-

Dex: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Fitz: Sure!

Fitz: Whats your favorite color?

Dex, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?

[docholligay]

Please rant/rave (well, we already know which one it will be here) about Harry Potter!

GEE I HOPE THIS WAS WORTH WAITING FOR

OH MY GOD. The level of hatred I have for Harry Fucking Goddamn Potter, the culture around Harry Fucking Potter, extending its poisonous tentacles even to the concept of young adult fiction, fantasy, and the United Kingdom as a country and people. 

When you being on this, you may think, “Oh, Doc will explain that Harry Potter sucks because JKR hates trans women” and I will say, oh no, dear reader, that is a fantastic reason to hate the author, and I really suggest we all continue to hate her, and perhaps not purchase the QUEEN’S TONNES of officially licensed merchandise and movies and theme parks that give her stupid little fucking hands all that cash, but no, that is not why I hate the work. There are a number of great works done by terrible people, and the further out the lens of history gets the truer this is. 

I hate Harry Potter because it fucking sucks, and mentally stifled an entire fucking generation. 

“Well, Doc, Harry Potter was really there for me when--” Oh my god I could not fucking care LESS about your personal emotion connection to “orphan wizard boy turns out to be a rich aristocrat yet somehow less woke than Cinderella though” I have personally emotional connections to hot fucking garbage pails of media properties, and if someone came barreling through talking about the myriad ways in which they were horrible, I would be like, “Oh, you aren’t fucking wrong, pal” 

Harry Potter gained wild ass popularity in part due to its magnificent sorting system of Smart, Brave, Evil, and Other, because there’s nothing liberals like more than being able to put everyone’s personality into an easily labeled box, which is why astrology is so popular, or for the intellectuals, Myers-Briggs, which is just as fake but with the veneer of science. This allowed people to give into the tribalism they so desperately liked to pretend they did not possess, and also allow them to write thinkpieces about “The misunderstood Hufflepuff” or “Slytherins aren’t all bad!” or really anything that allows them to write a very real piece about their very imagined oppression for being a part of a totally fake house in a children’s book. Excellent use of your sociology degree, Kai, I thought the addition of phrases like, ‘Content of socialization” and “axes of oppression” really spoke to the struggles you face when wearing a green and silver scarf. 

The other reason it became popular is that it’s essentially wallpaper paste formed into characters. I have read all of the books, and I could not tell you even remotely what Harry’s defining personality traits are other than “protagonist”. In American, at least, a large part of it was the fascination with all things British, with the idea of boarding school and prefects and uniforms that aren’t inexplicably chinos and polo shirts for nine year olds. It allowed children to project onto something so bland that it could be anything. And for children, THAT’S FINE. There is a great deal of bland media made for children, but what I’m speaking to is the fandom, which is largely well over the age of 18. 

Because if we look at the books, are they...actually good? Was it good, or did I experience it as a child? I mean, honestly, on a literary level, are they, or was it just like we all watched Friends, we did it because everyone else was doing it, because I have a distinct memory of a series that involves such greats as “magical geegaws with poorly defined rules that are quickly forgotten despite being able to solve later problems quickly” or “Everyone loves Harry or is a bad guy, or secretly loved Harry all along” 

Oh, speaking of, man, if this was an actual well-written book, wouldn’t it have been wild to have Snape’s whole thing be to teach us that sometimes people do good things for the wrong reasons? Instead of naming your fucking child after the guy who ‘protected you’ because he still wanted to bone your mom? “After all this time” “Always.” 

While all this could have been explained, we have Quidditch added into the mix instead because 20 pages of the goddamn Puppy Bowl is exactly what I was looking for while I was waiting for JK to move the goddamn ball on literally any of these actual magical concepts. 

Harry Potter is a fucking trust fund baby, star quarterback, who grows up to be a cop and marries his high school sweetheart. (Speaking of, why were we shocked that JKR turned out to be a piece of shit when this was and always has been the conclusion of Harry Potter? Why are liberals so fucking into this series that upholds structures like it ain’t no one’s business? It’s a series that opines that those beneath us “Muggles” should be kept in the dark from us) Literally, he finds out he is a wizard and has a dragon-guarded fucking VAULT OF CASH. At 11. It’s such a series for little tyrants, you are special from birth and need do nothing to prove it, here is a letter certifying as such. Oh, not only are you rich and the greatest seeker and have excellent quips, but also your parents were not only rebels, but the best of rebels, and so deeply involved that your parents were killed by the big bad personally, again, because you are so special. His mother’s love literally saves his ass over and over again, because he was SO SPECIAL. He fought Voldemort FROM THE BEGINNING, and WON.  It’s literally the most privilege baby fantasy in the world. 

“But Doooooooooooc, it’s for chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiildren” 

A) Yeah, and you’re 32, you’re making my fucking point about Harry Potter setting an entire generation up for intellectual failure to launch. 

B) Okay, and? I can think of a bunch of kids’ books off the top of my head that in no way require specialness to be given by birth so as to roll out the red carpet for master protagonist. The Hunger Games. Watership Down. A Series of Unfortunate Events. The Chronicles of FUCKING NARNIA, about which I have only a small handful of particularly kind things to say. I’ve never read Percy Jackson, but it’s my understanding that despite his being a literal demigod, the attitudes of the supporting cast are allowed to fall between the extremes of “Appreciates Percy” and “naughty or will learn” Harry does nothing to improve himself even after knowing that he is HUNTED BY THE BIG BAD! “I won’t do this because I don’t like Snape”. So There” which, again, if this series were written with the slightest bit of care or know-how, could be a humbling fucking plot point! BUT NO THAT WOULD BE NAUGHTY. 

But the real reason I hate Harry Potter so much has everything to do with the fandom surrounding it, and how it intellectually stunted a generation of adults. The promise of Harry Potter was that it was supposed to make a new generation of readers, and so the popularity of them was pushed, and so there was discussion of teaching them in schools, but I tell you fucking what, I know a whole lot more folks who grew up reading Harry Potter that never advanced beyond reading YA, or even just rereading the entire series every year and that’s pretty much them done and dusted. 

In the attempt to recapture whatever it was about Harry Potter that attracted children (A lot of it was your peers doing it. I read them all as they came out, and it was literally the equivalent of watching the game so you could talk at the water cooler. That was never going to be recaptured) people, who by this time were likely in their teens, kept getting recommended stuff at the same and same level. No one ever felt pushed to read things that are challenging, to read things that have some of the concepts or themes of Harry Potter but maybe complicate. I know FAR more adults who read adult books that aren’t into Harry Potter, even if they were as children, than the reverse. 

But Doc, why is reading only books meant for 14 year olds a problem??? I mean I suppose I can’t convince you that comfort is not the job of literature or of life, it is the job of an easy chair, because Americans especially are decadent as fuck about being comfy cozy all the time and if anything causes them distress or pain it should be immediately avoided. But Maybe I can convince you that you’re fucking up these books for actual ass children who deserve to have their own writing section without adults bringing their fucking asses into it. They deserve their own spaces. There’s a number of YA editors who have talked about the difficult space YA now occupies because since Potter’s blowup, it’s no longer a niche category, but basically “adult easy reads” and so they have been buying books that are more about the tastes of adult buyers than of literal 14 year olds. 

Is that not...sad? To anyone else? Honestly, and this is not part of the essay because it’s a broader reaching problem, but CHILDREN’S MEDIA IS NOT FOR US. CHILDREN’S MEDIA IS NOT FOR US. CHILDREN’S MEDIA IS FOR FUCKING CHILDREN. The fucking 40-23 set really needs to get their shit together and grow up a little bit and engage in some fucking adult media, and maybe, if we support what we’re actually looking for FOR ADULTS, it will come to us. No one is saying you can’t read Harry Potter or watch some Cartoon Network show, but like, search your heart and come the fuck on. Engage in something more complex. If not for yourselves, for the kids getting shoved into simplified adult stories. It should not be about us. 

ANYWAY, my larger point is that it was Harry Potter, a badly written series about a magical boy who was chosen and magic and also rich and also a favorite of the headmaster and also more clever than most adults and also spoke the same magical snake language as the big bad and was also star quarterback, but at least there was a system in which you could buy a scarf in block colors and feel like you belonged to a team. 

(But not a sports team! lol handegg! I’m cool I don’t get into sports! Except Quidditch.) 

[thecourtsknight]

I’m late for this party…

Luther: 👻 Ghost & ☄️ Comet

Ilveen: ☁️ Cloud & ⚙️ Gear

Pandora: 💓 Beating Heart

foolish!!!! how could you show up late with no snackies! >:V

Beneath the cut >:3

Luther:

👻(Ghost): do they believe in ghosts? what are their “ghostly experiences”, if any?

Absolutely, without a second thought. Luther's been down in enough skyrim-esque decrepit ass tombs and abandoned structures to know some noises are not just simply the wind passing through or mice running through the small cracks in the wall.

I think their most ghostly experience would differ from story to story, whatever's playing on their mind the most, He's not immune to playing up his stories of adventures back on mainland; he can be a very convincing story teller if you let him get into something enough. From "Maybe it was an actual ghost, who knowwwsss" to "Oh no, yeah, that was a ghost. No doubt about it." Depends on the crowds reaction!

☄️ (Comet): what do people assume about them? are they right?

This is such an interesting question for Luther... I feel like the biggest assumption is that Luther is a very polite person- which isn't completely wrong, he STRIVES to be viewed as a completely harmless little guy, someone anyone could get along with, but he's also... that isn't all of him, and the more unhinged parts of his personality certainly come out around certain people. He HATES making bad impressions... in terms of proper assumptions, I feel like it would depend on the person.

The biggest one, however, would easily be... him being a vampire. One of the first years he spent on Venroot would have people ding dong ditching Jericho's home because the 'vampire lived there'. That's what he gets for dressing up as one for Halloween and putting on too good of an act. (Sorry Jericho)

Ilveen:

☁️ (Cloud): a soft headcanon

For Ilveen... hmnnNnnn. I'd say one of the biggest things for her is that she is very weak to seeing her boys be happy, seeing both Luther and Jericho tease or laugh with eachother just puts her at a sense of ease that she can't really explain- not that she'd ever freely admit it. Jericho's essentially her younger brother, he means so much to her and she fucking ADORES Luther; something about that combined warms her like nothing else. (Makes the mess she went through trying to help either side with their romantic woes SO worth it, in a lip biting way.)

She also really likes giving hugs, but isn't the biggest fan of receiving, its hard to deal with urges to hug your girlfriend or younger brother from behind and maybe try to playfully pick them up when you're supposed to be the cool, calculated and epic librarian she wants to be.

⚙️ (Gear): what are your ocs thoughts on science & art? which do they give more importance to? how much value do they place on each?

Ilveen is a huge nerd and science actually plays kind of a part in that. She's very fascinated by Astrology and Petrology (study of rocks). Though they're kept on the down low, she loves being able to read up on things about them- and really anything that peaks her interest in terms of scientific curiosities can drag her. She's got a rather analytical mind all things considered and will gladly listen to folks talk about studies (probably why she gets on with Luther so much too)

Art is a bit more tricky for her admittedly, she feels the reason its sometimes hard to put words to the way certain pieces or even writing makes her feel is some kind of sign that she doesn't understand art.. Though she views it and both the feelings it gives very important, shes just a much more science inclined person... definitely more importance towards science.

Pandora:

💓(Beating Heart): What get's their heart racing.

Oh lord. Pandora is a simple woman wrapped in many hard to reach through vines, hard to open up and understand most of the time. But the number one thing that always gets her heart racing is being held in some kind of gentle or soft way. Pandora always delegates herself to being the one who's got everything in control, the one who does the holding! To have that turned on her is such a bizarre feeling as not only is it fairly new, she struggles to come to terms that she likes it. Merrill can get her to freeze by easily just doing the things she does for her, being the big spoon, taking her hands, pecking her unprompted. All of those things make Pandora a MESS.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Hey guys so here is my experience from last night lmaoo get ready cause it was unsurprisingly a hot mess full of white people microaggressions and me being alone as the only black person present having to deal with their spiritual charade shenanigans.

It's a bit long but it's a colorful description of the event and the experience taking ayahuasca, a wrap up of my own spiritual and magical journey and also a rant on the caucasity rampant in spirituality lol. A tl;dr is that it's sad that White People have to go across the world to take medicine from other people that have ceremonies revolving around it when.. we literally have our own stuff here that's like.. nearly the same vibe.. But more on that below.

So last night for the lions gate sun lining up with sirius star I was invited last minute to an ayahuasca ceremony in the edge of London kind of by Richmond park. The whole universe really opened up for me to do this Ceremony. 

At first I was like I dunno I mean its hosted by wealthy white people right? Admission was £200 and I was like absolutely Not, not for a medicine taken far away from it's land and I dunno how the experience was going to be like, plus it was on a Saturday night until Sunday morning and I work in hospitality and if I couldn't get Tuesdays off to at least work in the garden center growing food and plants how would I get the full weekend off? Plus the ceremony was already full. Well without even ASKING, or really thinking much about it, for once in like.. 2 years working for this company I got the full weekend off?!?! The fuck!!!!! Like I literally had to go to my director to fight my manager to try to get off Tuesdays which are the QUIETEST day of the week for hospitality but I got the full weekend off on like one of the hottest summer weekends in England. My friend co-hosting the ceremony called me to tell me that I wouldn't have to pay full admission and it was all donation to the tribe anyway (like suggested donation) anything I could give would be appreciated but I certainly did not have to pay the full fee. Then I was supposed to go to the beach with my friends in the morning but that all fell through due to unforeseen circumstances. I was thinking the beach trip would make me unable to go to the ceremony but it was just like.. cancelled the morning of lol. Lastly this guy dropped out last second so there was space for me.I was like damn it was like the Universe reshuffled itself for me many times to do this so like sure I will take this opportunity. Plus my friend in this group did work with the tribe in Brazil earlier this year and they are friends with them and do this to raise money so that they can sustain themselves better, like they are building solar panels for electricity, building chicken coups and trying to integrate little bits of modern society (like the electricity and water filtration parts, not like social media and capitalism lmao) into their lives. The last ceremony they did they raised like 2,000 pounds and this got the tribe a lot of food and funds to buy solar panels. So I was like ok this is also a good cause I always would love to help out indigenous people that protect the Earth.

Anyway there was a vibe about the way the Universe just opened itself up for this medicine that reminded me of Mushrooms. Like it's a strange thing but people that take mushrooms medicinally say it as well like it finds you when you need it. Last night I also got a great link to healing mushrooms as well and it was just the time to open myself up to that type of frequency I guess. For a while before it was a challenge to find for years I’ve been living here, but all of a sudden the universe was like: here you go! Anyway I was thrilled to work with this medicine and ground the lessons I've learned getting pinball tossed around the cosmos on DMT at the beginning of 2020 in January.

-

So yes I got to the edge of London and it was in some beautiful secret entrance building painted with murals of green jungle designs, A LOT of Indian spiritual symbolism everywhere, statues of Ganesha and other bejeweled paintings of Indian gods. It was beautiful but to be frank as much as I find Hinduism beautiful I never related much to it cause it's not my culture. What I mean by 'relate' is that there is this SEVERE obsession in white western cultures looking for spirituality in Hinduism and I never really got it. Like yes it's beautiful like many other nature-based spiritual religions but we are so far removed from the climate and nature of India like why are they so fascinated by it? Then.. there were some red flags... 

Ok for starters I was the ONLY NOT-WHITE PERSON there. I think it bothered me more in this moment cause I just got off discussing with an incredible Earthy witch in NYC who changed my life who's trying to do work by providing a nature sanctuary garden for POC how nature is so inaccessible to us and it's gate-kept by wealthy white people. I could elaborate on that more later but this post will be long enough lol. But anyway, why is this medicine not accessible to POC? When it's something not even native to here either? So it's like deliberately not shared with us?

Then there were just some people's vibes like ooooh boy I dunno why but some people just felt cold towards me? Like I guess they were annoyed at me showing up last minute to their ceremony? But my friend was co-hosting it? Like if you trust my friends judgement you should have trusted her in inviting me like I am not some asshole. But they were like.. impatient with me I guess? Like 'oh you didn't bring a waterbottle?? Guess you gotta borrow one of ours.' like BITCH I don't know what to expect man the closest experience I had to this substance was DMT where it knocks you the fuck out of your body and your spirit gets catapulted into the cosmos like I didn't know I gotta bring shit, damn! And then there were some people I felt like I just didn't want to talk to. Like they already had this cold vibe towards me like they didn't think I was relatable cause I wasn't some white cosmic yoga hippie like them (sorry I am a black bog witch like leave me alone) but anyway the way they were talking about the medicine was kind of irking me too like, 'ooh can't wait to clear some stuff I just gotta clear it out you know?' I am like, Becky we gonna be vomiting into buckets like calm down.

AND THEN LASTLY oooh boy so when you do any psychedelic the space really matters right? My friend like.. assigns me this fucking (ooh boy just typing this story and reliving it I am already getting heated lmaooo) |CORNER| spot and what I mean by corner is that it is in the corner of the room but wedged between the fireplace so you are stuck between 3 tight walls and you can't fully lie down or stretch your legs. Everyone across the room could lie down but me. Then there are like vomit buckets and this white girls crystal grid blocking my path if I need to leave to use the toilet or even stretch my legs so already I am having a slight panic moment cause I hate being confined. In general, I tend to like to pick aisle seats on planes and stand on either corners by the door of the elevator cause I fucking hate being confined. So I say something immediately like: ok well can I change spots? I am worried about being blocked. Can I sit there? 'no someone is there.' There? 'no' etc. So I am just like omg I am going to have to deal with it and some people are getting a bit fussy that I am trying to demand better treatment, so I am leaving it. They at least move the pile of vomit buckets out my way lol. But these white women next to me have also taken ALL OF THE NICE fucking pillows to make themselves super comfortable pillow chairs like one for their ass and back against the wall and they were like: oh no you'll need a pillow too! (Cause the ceremony is 12 hours long throughout the night like 9 to 9) and I was like yeah... and they were like: oh no there is no more!! But like CLEARLY all of the nice cushiony things were not evenly distributed across the room and the few people who did not get some nice cushions at least had space to stretch their legs. I didn't really say anything cause obviously these two white women had like pillow thrones happening next to me and this woman literally said with a pouty face: Aww, now I feel bad cause I have two nice pillows!  BITCH, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!?!?! Fucking christ. See?? SEE IT's shit like THIS that make POC hate that kind of white guilt shenanigans like, oh my god bitch either swallow your guilt in peace or give me a fucking pillow like you are trying to shift the position on to me to pressure you into giving me a pillow which you would either read as demanding or hope that I stay silent and be like: it's ok! so you can enjoy your comfort in peace and be free of your guilt. Like fuck off!!

Then there was this full time astrologer there who has some indigenous feather clip in her hair for some reason. She wanted to say a few things about what was going on with the planets. She was like: I love charting asteroids cause I feel like it's a representation of the divine feminine coming back! (I was going to be like: Me too! But the way she spoke about it was like.. not all of it is feminine? What do you mean?) she was talking about Medusa and eros conjunct in gemini right now and the myth of medusa being smited by aphrodite for being beautiful or whatever and I am thinking like I do not recall this myth cause it was Athena that turned her into the 'monster' to protect her wtf. And wanted to talk about mars retrograde that's not coming up for a while. So anyway I am like: Yeah! I love astrology too!  All that you talked about was pretty cool but I also wanted to mention some big changes are coming up with Uranus going into retrograde a week from now!! :) and everyone just like.. disregarded what I said.. Like she was like: oh yeah.. that's just an outer planet.. OK BITCH like I am pretty sure Uranus, a big ass planet that has to do with revolution, freedom and change going retrograde until Autumn is much more noteworthy than some little asteroid who's myth and energy you've completely misinterpreted being conjunct with Eros. (Eros is moving into Cancer really soon too so the conjunction isn't even going to last that long). Plus I wanted to mention that it was nice that we were doing this ceremony on an Aries moon cause it's like the symbolic start of a cycle yet it's a disseminating moon so it's also like starting off a cycle by celebrating the fruits of our success. But no one really wanted to listen to me anymore though that energy did influence my trip.

Anyway there was a part of me that was pretty bummed that my best witch friend that I did DMT with could not have come as well cause there just was no more space. At least we are always on the same vibe with everything and we would have been laughing about the shadiness of it all or excited about what's to come but I felt pretty alone during this ceremony.

-

So it begins, I got my borrowed waterbottle, the smallest, thinnest and hardest pillow that no one wanted for my ass that hurt more to sit on then the thin yoga mat that was just as thick as a human mousepad and I am like: who knows I may be so out of it I won't notice my space as much. The woman leading this is someone who worked with my friend in the tribe in Brazil. She is Russian and got the feathers in her blonde whispy hair and shit I am like oh boy. She explains what work they were doing and the reason for the fundraiser like the details of what the tribe is building and how they are supporting themselves. Also the tribe that night were also doing an ayahuasca ceremony earlier to sync with us so that they can meet up in the Astral plane which is really beautiful. She also explained how they were surprised at westerners fascination with the medicine. Cause they are like: this is apart of everyday life and there are other healing plants in the amazon too. Like why do westerners have a fascination with this? It is a way to connect with the jungle and cleanse yourself and reset (once again I am making that connection to mushrooms I am like.. the vibe sounds oddly familiar), but they find westerners interest in it weird.

Ok so we start with some ceremonies to open up the space and create this 'fire spiral' altar in the middle of the room. They light the pillar candle and have a tea light for everyone in the room. We each go around to light our tea light in the spiral with our intention allowed. People go there and declare stuff like: I am free, I am aligned with my path, etc.  I think about my intention for this trip and how it feels like another pillar of understanding in my journey to connect with my heart energy, love myself and be proud of my accomplishments cause I really came a long way. I was a bit afraid it was going to be another chaotic DMT experience but I just reminded myself that no matter how bad I felt everything was going to be ok cause I have people in this world that care about me. Even if I disappear somewhere or end up dead someone will come looking for me. And I know that sounds dramatic and morbid but at one point like 5 years ago I really did not have that. I was alone, lost and suicidal. I know what loneliness can do to people and it's nice all of the friends I pulled together in London who are creative diverse witches that all made great friends with each other as well through me and it's like we created this new found family that cares and supports each other. So I light my candle and say alloud: I am protected by love and reflect that in the things I create. Anyway the ceremony leader is like.. can I say something?? BITCH!!! HOOOOO MY GOD I should I have said NO but I was like, ok, she is the ceremony leader so I am like.. go ahead.. She was like: By saying you are protected by love that's implying you could be attacked.. (Like Why the fuck would you say this?? While I am lighting my candle?? You are putting negative energy towards my intention wtf) I was like no I meant it like.. I am supported by love. She is like: ah yeah that's better say that. She did not want to correct NONE OF THESE OTHER PEOPLE when they were saying 'I am free'? BITCH you could have had the same energy like: that's implying you could be enslaved. Anyway that irritated me into my trip. I took the ayahuasca from her and as I was feeling the effects I was feeling more and more adamant about my intentions.

-

I was thinking about the times when I was alone, when I was targeted and attacked by this stupid racist social group in college that made me feel unworthy of friendship and it was hard to make new friends until I was 21 cause it was a city college so most people hung out with their highschool friends until they were old enough to go out and drink so the first two years I was fucking lonely and the subject of like a lot of harassment when I did try to socialize in clubs and would run into those people there. It nuked my self esteem. Plus though I did so much finding friends magic it was really difficult finding friends that into the same things I was. Sometimes I felt like I was the only witch, the only person really into nature and magic. After college I did another spell and met this incredible witch that we synched so much (I have def wrote wild adventures with us together but she was also abusive cause at that point I still did not know how to establish my boundaries well) but I met other amazing witches in NYC but eventually we all moved. The incredible Earth witch who changed my life was the one who accidentally gave me shrooms that were like grown with love and intention that helped break down my mental barriers and help me take charge of my life and finally move out of my house I grew up in.. like completely out of the country and into England to start my life anew. In England I was successful in making a whole community of loving witch friends who really care about me and add to the ceremonies I host. I joined greenspaces to learn how to grow food and plants. I fucking STRUGGLED in my job getting my food in the door with bartending and slaving my way up until I have a cushy desk office job with healthcare. All in 2 years. I fucking hauled ass and created and manifested the life I always wanted when I was suicidal in NYC thinking that this reality was impossible. And every time I feel anxious I know that since I love and trust in myself that I will always protect myself and even if I was worried I have like a whole SET of magical badass witch friends who would help me at anything and I would do the same for them. 

When my roommate was threatening to call the police on me back when lockdown happened (long story) one friend did some healing on her and she like completely came to her senses and apologized the next day which was wild considering that she's such a proud self-absorbed person and would never do that. She realized that she was acting super ugly and was like wow I don't want to be this person. (Also I was so close to cursing the shit out of her lol but we are cool now). Also I am going away to Italy for the first time to be with this gorgeous man who wants to take me around his hometown but I am only going cause another close witch friend just moved to the neighboring town and will check up on me. She made sure to call him without me even asking to look at his itinerary and include herself and her boyfriend in a night of drinks to check up on us lmaoo. She is such an Aries I love her. If anything would happen to me she would make sure I was safe and could stay with her if something went wrong. God I could go on about each friend, how they've helped me with confidence, healing, safety and just feeling loved, valued, accepted and less alone which is powerful in this society that thrives on people not valuing themselves and where pure unconditional love has seemed to have lost it's meaning. One thing I admire about trees so much is how when they grow together their roots intertwine underneath the ground so that they can support each other upright during winds and storms. They also send nutrients to each other and help each other grow. I feel like I made a network of trees with witch friends in London and I am proud of that when I didn't have that years ago when I was alone and actively hated by a group in college. (I mean about the group it was more like a dynamic where a guy who had control over the club wanted to shun me cause he just likes the power dynamic of picking someone to talk shit about like literally if it was not me it was going to be someone else. So one party cause I did have a crush on him, I told him as I was wasted I was into him but then later apologized when sober if he didn't feel the same way. Like it really wasn't a big deal, I was a flirty 19 year old, but it was fuel for him to once again redirect negative attention on someone cause he's someone who's insecure so he likes the power of getting others focus on people and crush them. The "mutual friends" kind of didn't care about what was going on. The reason why this dynamic worked is cause in a way everyone was a bit lonely and didn't value themselves so they were willing to do anything to fit into a toxic social circle to have access to a club room and drink underage on campus to feel included and didn't want to question who the witch hunt of the week was so they could feel like they were in the ‘in crowd’. It was pathetic when one of them would be the new target and they would come to me like: boohoo I know what it feels like. Bitch I do not care and I made new friends and moved on. Fucking cunts.  -Another thing about being protected by love is like as a black woman even though I got some privileges being mixed and half European I still was subject to racism and I am still scared of hate crimes fueled by sexism and queerphobia but I have friends who will support me and understand and if anything happened to me people would care. Like yes some people in this world DO have things to fear about getting attacked cause we are not all privileged in society to not fear getting hurt Karen.

Anyway as the ayahuasca was kicking in I started getting a bit emotional cause I was thinking about people in the world that really deserve to be loved in this society that condemns us for loving ourselves which is the most important thing. I was crying thinking about black kids especially black girls trying to survive in this society or LGBT+ kids and how some people can't even have their existences respected. How people mock others for their gender identity but those people are in a constant battle with loving themselves cause I am sure at the end of the day they feel hopeless at times or giving up and have to fucking battle dysphoria and have to survive in a society that actively wants them dead and its really fucking upsetting like hooo them psychadelics were opening my heart and grief while this white woman across the room was doing some downward dog yoga shit into her bucket so she can wretch into it lmaoo..

When it started kicking in, boy omgg I felt SO GOOD but I was like..  This.. THIS (I got so mad when I realized this)  THIS IS JUST FUCKING MUSHROOMS LIKE!!!!! !!! ! THIS VIBE IS SERIOUSLY JUST SHROOMS, THE JUNGLE EDITION™   like no wonder the tribes are like: what are white people on about? Cause if they all came with their pashmina scarves, harem pants and grinch-finger dreadlocks to my woodland for mushrooms, especially when there are so many magical plants as well but they are just focusing on this psychedelic when there's also like native medicines in every land I would be a bit confused too. Like we were drinking something that was the equivalent of mushroom tea but it made you vomit it back up eventually. Ohh my god lmaooo. 

I felt so beautiful though. Some comparisons if you guys have done mushrooms: where as mushrooms make you feel these gentle pulsations like everything is breathing around you had has this gentle life breathing among everything like it's all connected (like the mycellium under a forest), ayahuasca makes you feel so sensual like everything is kind of just rolling like how the underside of waves look except the waves are large snakes. Like things start getting wavy the way snakes move but slow and sensually, think like the way a bellydancers hips can roll. It was a whole MOOD. Also with mushrooms when you close your eyes you can see these beautiful patterns bloom before your eyes like pastel art nouveau fractal patterns of tree roots, or clusters of bubbles you'd see looking at plant stems vascular bundles under a microscope or the web-like pattern you see in butterfly and dragonfly wings. With ayahuasca when you close your eyes you see like bright neon colored geometric shapes expanding like bismuth crystals, the patterns you see in indigenous textiles like triangles and cubes, sometimes they will lattice together and make beautiful neon snake-skins that gently slither together. If you've ever seen Miyazaki's/Studio Ghibli's castle in the sky it reminds me of that 'lost technology' metal blocks with runes and scriptures on it moving around. Sometimes you will be following this thread of cubes and they'd be moving around like in that scene and in this cavern of blocks you'd see this celestial-looking geometric crystaline being be revealed. It's very beautiful. Though mushrooms can make you purge, it really does not happen often. However with ayahuasca it's almost a guarantee you will vomit it back up.

So people are all wretching everywhere as the ceremony leader is singing some folk songs from the tribe to guide us through our journey. What's cool is that you kind of feel that purge coming towards the peak end of the trip like a kind of brown murky snake rising from the bottom of your body up like kundalini energy starting from the base of your spine bowels past your stomach up until it pokes from your throat opening up that passage way until you feel it in your head and you just release it all out into the bucket. Not really glam but it doesn't taste bad but then again being a bog witch I drink all sorts of murky plant teas so I am used to the flavor palate. (It's like a sweet in an aromatic way and reminds me of one of those chinese medicinal murky teas).

Also as I was realizing the similarities between this and shrooms I was like wow it's a shame that we aren't outside or somewhere with jungle plants at least to connect with that plant energy. Instead we are in this hindu spiritual retreat place but if we just did some shrooms we could have been out in the sunlight at richmond park hugging the massive ancient trees there and feeding the wild deer summer strawberries like instead I am fucking cramped in this corner vomiting into a bucket with this exotic medicine.

As my trip went on I was thinking more about my friends who care about me and support me and how much I loved them and I couldn't stop thinking about my best witch friend that I did DMT with whom I wish was there. Like we would at least have been laughing about this or vomiting together or she would be like: omg this would be such great play-write material. She is white passing but super self aware and would at least make sure that I felt ok and included in all of this. I took a moment to step out of the circle to text her about the details and the woman in the corner doing yoga and vomiting in her downward dog pose and she was cackling and of course since the medicine connects you to that heartspace I was like confessing how much I care about her and how much of a special friend she was to me and was tearing up but one of the ceremony leaders followed me outside and was like: no phones!! It's not good energy!! Omg?? Like sorry I forgot cellphones were the devil's energy, it's not like I am bored and scrolling through social media, I just wanted to connect with my best friend who makes me feel less alone thanks.. Anyway I went back after being scolded and tried to get comfortable in my cramped spot.

Some positive affirmations I did get through all this was that (bringing back the disseminating moon vibe) I was loved and should be really proud of how far I've come. I kept thinking about all the people I love and cared about and how I should express my love in little ways that will make them happy like celebrating love everyday to make sure that people can feel supported cause it was the themes of my DMT trip too but now it was clearer and more grounded. I also got messages that sometimes I tend to be too selfless and there will be a time that I will help others but I should prioritize myself first mostly cause when my cup is full or when I get to positions of power or comfort I can always share that with people I care about. It was a good conclusion to a half years effort cause this also reflected my Glastonbury trip back in November where this witch who read my tarot cards gave me the clearest reading of my life and told me that I would not do well if I did not confront my heart energy and the pain there that was still festering from the social experience at university. So the efforts I went through my friend giving me sound healing and the DMT trip and other stuff has really opened up my heart and helped me to connect with that energy and care about myself more. But there was the theme again of I really need to protect myself first. Sometimes when the white girl next to me was mercilessly wretching and wailing into her bucket I felt so emotional for her that I would fan her but I would get this loud voice in my head like: DID SHE EVEN ASK THAT OF YOU?? FAN YOURSELF IT'S HOT BITCH- SHE OK SHE GOT HER FUCKING PILLOW THRONE WHEN YOUR ASS IS ON THE HARD GROUND. After purging and trying to get comfortable in my corner I would get increasingly aware of the lack of space and how I was starting to feel claustrophobic and it was starting to fuck with me. Cause yeah I got mental health issues, but it's usually under wraps when I take care of myself like, good sleep, food and water but, I was getting sleep deprived since this was an all night ceremony, I wasn't able to eat food to fast before this, and now I can't even fucking lie down cause I was in a coffin of a corner on the hard ground. My muscles and knee joints were starting to hurt. People were so in the zone just like.. doing arm-trance dance shit or throwing up while the ceremony host was hollering some songs which no one understood the meaning to and I felt at that point it was too late to ask anyone to share their pillows. I was noticing as I was coming down from the sensual jungle slithering plane that I was in muscle and joint pain.

I was like: Ok it's fine, the night would go by quickly.. It was not going by quickly.. I remember once I was sneakily looking at my phone’s clock and it was 4:30AM. I was like ok just gotta get through this time will pass.. The ceremony leader was like intoning some frequency so loudly she was trying to channel some celestial dolphins and whales or some shit but it was so high pitched the crown of my head would be vibrating and at first it feels energizing and cool but since my head hasn't had anyplace comfortable to rest I got a tension migraine from placing it on the floor so I could feel the high pitch note like vibrating the pain in my head. Then she was doing individual healings (I also got skipped somehow in this), she would be like channeling the frequencies for each person and making sure they purged what they need to purge and they would wretch into the bucket some more as she was growling into their backs, the feathers stuck in her blonde hair, quivering as she growled, there was the yoga girl now crying releasing her purge again. Someone was sticking their legs into the air and waving them around cause of energy I guess. I am like ok ok time will pass quickly.. what time is it? *sneakily checks my phone again so I won't get yelled at* 4:32am

OH HELL NO. I am trying to calm myself down but like if you struggle with the mental health imbalance I was in the red zone. Like I have not eaten, my stomach is cleared with vomiting, I cannot sleep, I am CONFINED in this corner, unable to stretch my legs, I am in PAIN, I feel alone.. They go around offering everyone a cup again and I am like: fuck it let me take a second cup..

So I start feeling good again, I feel like a sensual snake like trying to slither across silk. (You know when snakes try to slither across silk but they cannot move across it? It's like that you are just slithering in place) but literally I also feel like a clearer message in my mind almost like the spirit of ayahuasca is communicating with me like: Hun.. babe.. You got your positive affirmations that it's your time to rest and celebrate all you're hard work but you need to remember that you gotta honor and take care of yourself as a part of self love and you being confined in this space is not an act of self love. Especially if you do decide to stay here longer your mood and health will drop so low that it will affect others healings so it's best for everyone if you try to go home early. Like I felt the spirit of that medicine actually encouraging me to leave. Like the fucking ayahuasca itself was like this environment isn’t healthy for you lmaoooo.   And I think that's wild.. It's so wild that these white women are all like: We are going to connect with the cosmic dolphin frequencies, and the tribe in the amazon and the human race, but they CAN'T EVEN FUCKING CONNECT TO THE BLACK GIRL IN PAIN IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM, like they can't even distribute their nice pillows, they can't even read that I need help. They SKIPPED me with the individual healing. They were so cold towards me. Fuck it! Even my friend's companion dog who was there noticed I was off. She would look at me with concern in her big eyes and apprehension cause she could feel my pain turning into mentally unstable anger. I was like aw man I am killing the dogs vibe right now but damn the dog noticed and even these white women didn't?! Like I dunno if they are that empathetically shut off or if they were deliberately ignoring me. lmao, Also I think maybe cause I vibe so much with plants and genuinely want to reforest some land some day maybe that's why I feel so at home in the ayahuasca high like the medicine was really comforting the second cup but it also was like: you cannot hide within my frequency to escape pain- cause obviously it's NOT a substance for escapism. Anything but. It was like: it's time to go home and take care of yourself. (Like you'd imagine being on the brink of a mental breakdown taking this stuff may push you over the edge but it was actually very loving, sensual and re-affirming again.)

So the ceremony leaders notice since it's 5AM that most people are comfortably asleep in their piles of pillows and stretched out legs and they are about to go to bed but I go up to my friend and am like: thank you for everything, I think I should go home now.. And the women leading it were all Surprised and Shocked! 'Oh my goodness?? She's leaving?! Going home? The event isn't over!' Mind you this is by Richmond park and I live in north London by Hampstead heath so yeah it is a mission. I also could not afford the £40 uber so I was willing to take the shady public sunday morning night bus home lmao (oh no she'll expose herself to all that heavy shady energies of public transit! 🙄). But I was like the amount of time the bus would take from me to go home is probably not as long as the way time was inching slowly within that space and me being in pain. So my friend walked me out and I was trying to be as loving and cheerful and grateful cause I honestly did not want to bring down anyone's vibe. She checked up on me as I was getting my things to make sure I had a healing experience. I tried to be a little honest in being like: It was beautiful, it reminded me of mushrooms but like from the jungle.. Honestly the reason why I am leaving is cause I am in physical pain and I don’t think I can stay in the corner any longer; and she was like: yeah well ceremony is never comfortable. HOOOOOO LAWDDD. Oooof.. Omg.. Like.. OOF firstly.. The ceremony leaders each had 3 stacks of like thick pillowy matts to sleep on which ONE Of them could have been given to me and like yeah I am sure ceremony is at least bearable when you have a fucking pillow throne and mattresses and not confined in a coffin of a corner spot unable to move your legs without knocking someone’s vomit bucket over. Jesus. I didn’t say anything. I just grabbed my shit and left. As soon as I was free on the other side of the gate I felt SO RELIEVED!!

It was so refreshing being outside on sunrise, free to stretch my legs. I could still feel the affect of the medicine as things would pass me by and I'd see like this stream of energy behind them it was really pretty and cool. Since it was London in Liminal Space Hours™, there were foxes everywhere leaving behind streams of soft light as they'd move around the empty streets. The bus was pretty chill other than this fucking creep of a man walking in this dark cloud and when he moved past me his stream of light was literally some ugly fluorescent hostile neon color I was like wow I can literally see your grimy frequency right now lmaoo. But whatever, anything was better than staying silent in that cramped corner to cater to white women's comfort.

Anyway I got home, got plenty of water, took care of myself and crashed on my super comfortable bed. It was a really good decision I made I could not imagine staying until 9 AM like it was not possible and I am grateful I honored myself in leaving early and listening to ayahuasca's reminder to do that as well.

-

So the conclusions I made:

White people as a modern cultural collective are fucking wild and can sometimes be a lost cause, cause we literally have medicine here that does similar stuff and more like flying ointments which can help you confront your shadow and fly to other planes but they just want to lose themselves in the mysteries of other peoples exotified cultures that still have traditions in tact to celebrate the nature around them cause white people are disconnected completely from the nature that they come from. (Also obviously to clarify I mean white people as the modern white supremacist culture, obviously not everyone individually cause I am friends with a lot of white witches here doing invaluable work connecting people back with the native land, plant medicines and traditions and many of them trying to save the Gaelic language and traditions that are still under threat and being killed off today).

Though ayahuasca can be more of a powerful cleanser than mushrooms, it's essentially the same frequency of plant medicine like the same vibe just connecting you to another land and there is a reason why indigenous people think white people are weird for over glorifying it when we have our own shit. If you are really curious about ayahuasca I mean mushrooms are good enough a job really and will better connect you to the woodlands that you may live in. 

 Most importantly I kind of understand the type of role I need to play and the path there isn't clear cut but it's important for me to keep spreading that message of love. Right now we live in a dark dank ass time line when the Earth is transiting some dark corner of the cosmos and everything is going through it's own nasty purge while we try to ascend to a new and better reality. However this new and better reality is really indifferent towards the existence of the human race or white supremacy so as the earth ascends and has it’s own purges, if people don't fucking get it together, especially white people, we are going to get taken out as the rest of the world thrives and glows up without us. It's so easy to fall into a spiral of self hate cause this shitty evil society we live in thrives on us not knowing how to honor ourselves and love ourselves. Even capitalism has twisted the idea of loving ourselves into something selfish or synonymous with splurging money to further empower stupid companies to give us quick highs from new purchases that will lose it's meaning and later pollute the earth.

On these trips a message I keep on getting is that love and life are synonymous. It's true and sad that there are many people brought into this world without love but what lets life thrive and what makes life worth living is love. And love is really that energy where we are grateful in our existence and the existence of our friends and those that support us and nature that supports us. But often what helps us understand that love is being able to support ourselves and do stuff that honors ourselves. And yes being loved IS a need, so it's important to seek out friends that validate you and that will love and support you and that you can do the same with them. If you find that network you will feel less alone and when you love yourself you will never feel alone and that in itself is true empowerment. When you have love in your life like that you can do anything and you will always feel safe. And I think that's why I was crying at the beginning of my trip cause I know what it's like to not have that. I know what it was like to feel hopeless and suicidal. We also live in a society that like beats down on kids of color especially black girls and like LGBT kids especially trans kids and it makes me so sad to think that there are people here that don't even realize how valuable they are by just existing. Like their lives don't just matter, they are INVALUABLE and that they need to fight for themselves every day and make the effort to love themselves cause honestly once they push through and really figure out how to love themselves they don't realize that they are literally a beacon of light and hope for others to learn how to love themselves too. Once they get to that place someone else who could be alone and struggling can look to them and be like: wow I do have the right to exist and be valued cause this person found a way to do it themselves even though society shat on them the whole time. And it's important to support your peers in these marginalized groups as well and be allies to those who are not well supported in this society. Like this is such a shitty timeline but people need to realize that they are made of love and that they are valuable and that the future of humanity and our peace and well being depends on their missions to find love for themselves and overcome white supremacy's demon ass structure that is enslaving us all.

Ok that is all. If you have read all of this thank you <3

[amateurasstrologer]

THE SIGNS #10 VIRGO

What’s up, bitches - it’s been a minute. Let’s break this radio silence and talk about sweet, repressed baby Virgo. Another top contender on our “12 Most Hated Signs” list. Now, before all you Virgos roll your eyes so far back into your heads they’re gone for good, let’s set the record straight.

First: what do we actually know about Virgo? Criticism is a lame answer, bitches. Let’s flesh it out.

Yes - Virgo can come off as cold-hearted, but it’s not because these bitches are actually frozen. Virgo is one of the most feeling-filled signs in this biz. We all get confused thinking Virgo is an emotionless criticism machine because we forget that having feelings and expressing feelings are two very, very different things.

But before we take it any further, think about this: from Aries to Virgo, we’re dealing with ourselves. From Libra to Pisces, we’re dealing with others. Virgo is the very last self-focused baby in all the land before Libra steps on the scene, takes over, and starts forcing everyone to deal with everyone else. So Virgo feels the significance of this amazing change that’s coming with Libra, but it has no fucking tools or framework to actually organize and express these overwhelming feelings of connection and closeness and togetherness because we’re still not actually to Libra yet. Fuck.

So how does Virgo even begin to cope with these feelings it doesn’t actually know how cope with? By getting it’s shit together. Virgo is the character builder of the Zodiac. Virgo thinks to itself “well, there’s no fucking way I’m ready to deal with all the shit I’m feeling, so let me at least improve myself so that when I finally step onto the Libra scene, I’m the best version of myself that I can be.” Virgo comes after Leo for a reason, people. Leo is out there just expressing for expression’s sake - Virgo is the first bitch to come along and say, “yeah, you’re on fire, that’s pretty cool, but why are you lighting yourself on fire? What do you want people to take away from that shit? What is the fucking point?” So, Virgo uses its powers of analysis, observation, and yes, even criticism, to clean up Leo’s act and get us ready to share ourselves with others (Libra). And Virgo won’t stand for some half-assed shit - if it’s gonna share, it’s gonna be good.

At its highest level, Virgo is self-improvement. Virgo genuinely wants us to be at our best, because Virgo (in their deeply-hidden-away way) recognizes that relationships are a responsibility, and we need to have our fucking shit together before we get out there and interact, or we are going to (1) hurt other people and (2) look like a gross disaster while we’re doing it. Yikes.

Now, that being said, unhealthy Virgo is going to play itself out as (1) being a cold-blooded bitch in the name of “helping you be your best” and (2) paralyzing themselves into a dissatisfied clump of inaction because they can’t decide which move it the best move to make. Virgo - stop it. You’re better than this!! And even though you’ve vaulted your feelings away because they’re too much for you to deal with, you want people to like you and you actually fucking love feeling things. So drop the act, cut yourself a break, and get your fucking life together.

What’s the solution? Well, it’s always chilling with the complementary sign. What Virgo needs to really get its point across and make those dank improvements to selves and societies that it was born to make, is a healthy dose of Pisces’s understanding, compassion and sensitivity. We know those big feelings scare you Virgo, but damn. You’re gonna need to learn to let them out (and in) a little bit if you want to connect to other people. Because it’s only through genuinely connecting with others that you’re going to be able to inspire real, lasting change and improvement.

In short: let us love you, Virgo, and take it easy on us. And take it easy on yourself. You’re already good enough.

XO BULLSHIT FREE ASTROLOGY

[safebubblebycyg]

a very wolfstar valentines :

♡ remus was how you say....doomed?

♡ it's not like he wasnt aware of todays date

♡ it was valentines, he knew that, its just- what did people do for valentines?

♡ hogsmeade? him and siri did that anyway. chocolates? sirius gives him chocolates like, everyday. roses? sirius prefers sunflowers

♡ so yeah, remus was doomed. so he asked the one person who was overwhelmingly romantic: james potter

♡ "you want me to..give you love advice?" "james, cmon, you're dating reg, youve got to have some idea on what to do with a black" "moony you- you've been dating sirius for three years-"

♡ james was absolutely no help.

♡ okay, so what does sirius like...uh....sunflowers, scrunchies, queen, erm...

♡ remus has never felt more like he didn't know his boyfriend

♡ "hey, moons, happy valentine's!" SHIT SHIT SHI- "hey siri, hogsmeade today? er, lie in? uh-" "honestly a lie in sounds nice, i got you some stuff, but thatll be for later"

♡ oh, great, sirius had done what sirius does best: be more prepared than remus

♡ "oh, yeah, uh i actually, uh, have to go pick up your gift that i ordered ages ago, love you, bye!!"

♡ smooth, lupin, smooth..

♡ remus had rushed out and left his boyfriend on valentines day, good one, moony

♡ "EVANS!! you fancy going to hogsmeade with me in a very platonic 'i need help getting gifts for my boyfriend' kinda way?" "oh, uh, sure"

♡ so remus stole lily from her girlfriends (mary, dorcas, and marlene shouldn't mind too much)

♡ once they were in hogsmeade remus was lost as all hell "chocolate? flowers? a new quill??"

♡ "well what does sirius like?" "uh...mrs. potters brownies, james socks, wormtails pillows, my bed, hot showers, quidditch-" "remus- love- you- something we can get at honeydukes per say?" "OH uh, yeah, white chocolate dipped strawberries because that's his favourite for some reason, sunflowers, pumpkin juice, and i know hes been looking for another astrology book.."

♡ so lily helped him get said things and remus felt...like he was making a mistake, nothing felt right

♡ nonetheless he brought everything back up to the dorm, all in little gift bags, thanked lily, and smiled at sirius when he entered the dorm

♡ "hey moons, i was getting worried for a second- oh gifts!! hold, let me grab mine"

♡ sirius gave a soft smile at each of his gifts and put his sunflowers in a transfigured vase. "ill read that later, thank you, love"

♡ remus was shaking as pads handed him his gift, he carefully took it out of the bag, turning it over in his hands "a- a book about werewolves?" "with notes by yours truly"

♡ remus flushed as he opened the book, the first chapter had already been crossed out "how to detect a werewolf sniff out a remus lupin"

♡ "pads did you- did you cross out all the negatives and replace them with things ive said about lycanthropy?" "oh, you catch on quick" "...merlin this makes my gifts seem so stupid-"

♡ "oh, no you dont, your gifts were sweet moons, you hate the smell of sunflowers, you refuse to be near white chocolate-" "it's not real choco-" "shush, you wont drink pumpkin juice because you claim juicing a pumpkin should be impossible and illegal, and lastly, you think everything astrology is a bunch of bull

♡ "i appreciate that you do things regardless of how much you like or enjoy them. the least i could do was show you that im listening and here for you with that book" "...have i ever told you how much i love you?"

♡ so yeah, remus wasnt actually doomed, just overthinking

♡ oh and sirius also got remus chocolate loving lupin chocolate, no worries

happy valentines day, fuzzy friends!! whether you spend it with friends, lovers, or single as a pringle, i hope today is full of love (even self-love!!) and i truly hope it's a good one!! mwah!! ♡

[painted-crow]

I haven't been on tumblr in a hot century so it feels a little weird to be writing a submission to you... but I just bingeread most of this blog and your way of explaining the shc system is so gloriously comprehensible that I really want to pour my brain out at your feet and have you explain the bits to me.

I hope life is treating you well and thank you for the awesome blog you run. The way you describe things and the way you help people sort themselves is clear and clever and so very kind of you to do, and that's what I appreciates about you. :)

(This was a chunk of a submission from someone who ended up sending in a second version that I answered in depth, but the fan mail portion from this first version was so sweet that it seems mean to just delete it. So here it is, as a #cutie post. 😊)

[captainjimothycarter]

Drabble idea: Steve and Peggy meet each other when they get assigned as lab partners in college.

So I uh never did something in college or HS that needed lab partners sooo this might be lacking. This might not be what you expected.

--

“You like him,” Angie giggled behind her blueberry muffin. Her eyes were bright with the glee of a new topic to gossip on for that hour.

Peggy, for her sake, rolled her eyes as she stabbed at a piece of chicken with her fork and waved it threateningly in front of her roommate’s face. “We are lab partners. That’s it. Mr. Gregg, just thought it was a good idea to pair us together to be lab partners for this upcoming project. That’s it.” 

“Aw, c’mon, Pegs. You don’t see what I do. You go googley-eyes on him!”

“I do not.” 

“You talk about him all the time.”

“Because he’s in four of my six classes so I see him ninety percent of the week. It doesn’t mean I have some school-girl crush on him.”

“And,” Angie continued, promptly ignoring Peggy’s rebuttal. “You sit next to each other in class, even French. Face it, Pegs, you have a grade-A crush and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s adorable.”

Peggy had no response as she bitterly shoved the chicken into her mouth for one reason - Angie was right and she hated how right she was.

--

“Whose the girl?” Sam asked Steve on his second day of classes after he’d waited for the blonde outside the room.

Steve peered up from the last-minute notes he was reviewing, watching Peggy walk by him after meeting her roommate. “Oh, uh, Peggy.”

“Peggy, huh? You sure spending lots of time lookin’ at her.” Sam was teasing, he could hear it dripping in his voice and Steve hated it. This would of course find its way back to Bucky to tease him about during his weekly phone call while out of state in the military.

“Sam, stop it. We’re just friends, ain’t nothing to it.”

“Sure, buddy, whatever you say but sooner or later it’s turnin’ into something else. I can see it happening. Just make sure I’m the best man at your wedding.”

“Please, you know that spots reserved for Bucky when I wound up marrying my easel.”

Because who’s gonna want to marry a 5’4, asthmatic, 92-pound guy that can’t even see straight without glasses? Not that Steve minded, he was happy alone and with friendships, but sometimes that loneliness did catch up to you.

And damn Sam to hell and back for being right.

A month and a half later, as Peggy walked away after promising to email him the extra credit assignment for Art History, Steve was fully aware that he had a crush on her.

And it was pathetic.

--

“So,” Bucky sighed over the phone three months later. “Sam says you got a date with your lil’ crush tonight.”

He was going to kill Sam. “No, I have a lab assignment with Peggy tonight. It’s not a date. And she’s not a crush.”

“Even over a thousand miles away, Rogers, I can tell you’re lying. Sam, are his ears turning pink?”

Goddamnit, Steve regrets putting Bucky on speaker. Or even introducing Sam and Bucky. 

“Yeah, man. Bright shades of pink, oh his cheeks too. And his neck - hey you’re a full-body blusher. Pegs is gonna love that!”

As the boys laughed, Steve drew the hood of his jacket over his head and grumbled, shoving his books into his bag. “You two are idiots. I’m going to Peggy’s, don’t wait up.”

Before Bucky could respond, he hung up on him and then three minutes later sent him a text about how he missed him and how Sam really seems into him.

That’ll shut him up.

--

Eight o’clock on the dot. Don’t you dare be late.

That’s what Peggy had told the asthmatic blonde when they met up after Astrology 101 to discuss the lab. Steve would be coming over to her place, they would go over their notes, the assignment, and then head down to the lab at their scheduled time.

It was not a date, no matter what she told Angie. This was not a date. This was just two friends, no two co-students, acquaintances getting together to complete an assignment. 

So who cared if she couldn’t stop thinking about him? Or if she wondered at times if his lips looked as soft as they felt. Or worried about him when he wasn’t in class or late and looked so flushed and yet relieved when he saw her there. Or the time she skipped class because her period cramps were too much and Steve looked so relieved to see her the next day. 

She thought about that look in his eyes often and hated how it gave her goosebumps, she hated how it made her stomach clench and butterflies to form. She tried to talk to Michael about it, but the man was just as hard to get ahold of and when he wasn’t, he teased her as all big brothers did.

Then proclaimed if she fell for a Yank, he was gonna revoke her English rights.

The prat.

8 o’clock and no Steve.

Peggy thought about calling him, a little worried because he wasn’t the type to be late. She decided to wait until half an hour. Half an hour and if Steve wasn’t’ here, she’d call him. Luckily, she didn’t have to because at 8:18 Steve showed up, face flushed, wheezing, and his hair sticking up in all directions.

“Oh you poor thing,” was the first thing out of her mouth, the worry and anxiety melting off of her. She should be mad that he was late or mad that she thought he stood her up, but she was just relieved. “Are you okay? What happened?” 

Taking him by the arm, she leads him inside and straight on her couch, bustling off to the kitchen to get him a glass of water and a snack cake. The guy looked peckish.

“Oh, I…” He shouldn’t like the fact she was doting over him, in fact, he should hate it, but by her doting, over him, it meant she was touching him and he liked that. “I had an asthma attack.”

It sounded like it took everything in him just to admit that and Peggy tried to ignore how that kicked-puppy look tugged on her heart. Steve hated pity and she wasn’t pitying him, she was worried. There was a difference.

“I’m okay now,” he continued, sipping on the water. “I guess I just got worked up and kinda lost and…” His thin shoulders shrugged as if to brush the fact he has a medical emergency off. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“You’re sorry?” The words came from her before she could help it. He was sorry for what? Having a medical emergency? 

It didn’t do any good when Steve flinched at her accusing tone.

“Steven, by no means should you be sorry. Yes, I was worried but you’re here now and you’re okay. It’s behind us. Do you still want to go to the lab? I could just reschedule us.”

“If we reschedule now it might take us two weeks to get a spot and we’ll be crunched for time.” He looked genuinely worried, eyes wide. “I’ll be fine. We can head over now.”

There was little argument from Peggy on that end. Steve was right, if they rescheduled then it could take them a while but that’s not what sold the deal. The fact she got more time with him as of right now was better than waiting.

--

“How’d you get lost?” Peggy asked, driving a stoic Steve from his thoughts as they braved the cold air after spending three and a half hours in the lab. It was now officially Saturday, meaning they could sleep in. Angie wasn’t home and wouldn’t be home until noon tomorrow, so she was looking forward to peace and quiet. 

Steve drew his scarf tighter around his face, looking up at her with cocked eyebrows. It was going to snow, he could feel it in his aching bones. “Oh. Uh, when I get an asthma attack I get...disorientated. Everything looked the same, I didn’t wanna call for help cause I was fine.”

Peggy couldn’t help herself in rolling her eyes. “I think we both have a different definitions of fine, Mr. Rogers. You are certainly not fine. I can still hear you wheezing and you had a hard time concentrating on the measurements tonight.”

She frowned as she watched him pat his pockets, obviously searching for something. “You okay, Steve?”

“My inhaler! I thought I had it on me, but I think I left it in your dorm. I-I’ll be fine without it, I can get it in the morning.”

“Steven Grant Rogers, you are not waiting until morning to get a life-saving device because of...what? You don’t want to be seen in my dorm? It’s co-ed, I can assure you that it’s fine!”

“I just don’t...want...people to assume or-or get you in trouble. Or...or…” His cheeks were heating up bright pink, Peggy found she adored the color on his cheeks.

“Or…” She clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth, her hand snatching out to grab at a lamp post to keep from falling on a section of ice. It was already starting to snow around them, the ground cold enough to make it stick.

Steve cursed as he wrapped his arms around her chest, preventing her from falling. Both of their faces flushed, Steve’s more than Peggy’s at this point. The second they both were stable, he let go and took an unnecessary step away from her.

“Thank you,” she breathed, clearing her throat. “I think that decides that Steve, you’re staying with me tonight. Don’t worry, Angie is out tonight with her gal. I’m not risking you out in this storm.”

There was no point in arguing with Peggy, Steve knew this by now. He’s seen her debate lesser and greater minds than his in class and absolutely destroy them. Besides, part of him liked this idea, staying with her for the night. Maybe if he got enough courage he could ask her out, tell her how he felt or something. 

If he was anything like Bucky, he knew what he’d do. He’d whoo her and kiss her. But he wasn’t Bucky or Sam. He had no social skills with girls but he liked Peggy. 

“Home sweet home,” Peggy sighed when they were finally inside, their wet clothed stripped off and drying on the heater now. She sat Steve on the couch and bundled him in a bunch of blankets, coming back from the kitchen with two steaming cups of hot chocolate.

Sitting on the couch, she wiggled under the pile of blankets, not to much of Steve’s protest. Her thigh was touching his at this point. “Oh, you’re warm,” she breathed, sounding surprised. 

“Amazingly,” Steve laughed, rolling his eyes. “I think it’s the third cup of hot chocolate you’re forcing in me.”

He yawned as he said this, his face was suddenly drawn in a show of how exhausted he was. He looked so adorable when he yawned, his nose wrinkled up. He still had a smudge of ink on his forehead from when he was rubbing his brow in frustration.

“I’ve always said hot chocolate is good for the soul. Much better than any tea you have here.” Tapping on her laptop screen, she was happy to get Netflix up and hit the next episode on Chopped. 

Steve didn’t even make it to the second round of the episode, unsure of who was sent home for an overcooked risotto or missed basket ingredient. He was asleep, slumping into Peggy.

He was quite warm, Peggy noted, easing Steve down to her lap. He was warm and looked so adorable when asleep. That walk and asthma attack must’ve taken a lot of out of him, regardless of what he told her. At least he was resting now in her arms.

This isn’t where Peggy thought she’d end up tonight, but it’s a place she’d glad to be.

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

[pinelife3]

What’s this Pizzagate in the heart of nature?

The big tech story in Australia last month was Facebook’s decision to restrict people and organisations in Australia from sharing or viewing news content on Facebook. This was in response to the Morrison government’s proposed Media Bargaining legislation which is basically a Murdoch-serving law to try to get tech companies to pay media organisations for news content hosted/linked/displayed on their sites and, most galling of all, share details of their algorithms with Australian media orgs. The idea that Facebook would have to notify NewsCorp every time they want to tweak their algorithm is patently insane. So I admire Facebook’s petty, dramatic manoeuvre: “if the way we share news on the site is such a problem then fine, no more news for you”. After all the fuss, the Australian government agreed to amend the Media Bargaining legislation - evidently with terms more agreeable to Facebook, meaning news has been restored to Facebook down under. 

One of the key responses I saw expressed in relation to Facebook’s initial news eradication was concern that disinformation would be able to spread more easily on the site - and that people wouldn’t be able to rebut disinformation with factual news articles.

So far as I can tell, the proliferation of disinformation online wouldn’t matter if people didn’t believe it. And most especially, if people didn’t want to believe it. After all, the web is full of persuasive writing and people who want to convince you of things - for whatever reason, conspiracy theories just seem to be very alluring. So rather than trying to protect people from their own stupidity by hiding disinformation... maybe we could look at why people are so credulous in the first place. Deep state? Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams? CIA Contra cocaine trafficking? The great replacement? Pizzagate? 

I’m going to class conspiracy theorists into three categories of my own making:

I believe: well meaning, uninformed people who have been fooled or duped. The fraudulent 1998 Lancet paper by Andrew Wakefield which started the vaccines cause autism conspiracy was actually written to support a class action lawsuit. Wakefield knew the results in his paper were not true: in addition to his conflicts of interest, he had falsified data. The paper was eventually debunked and retracted but the conspiracy had its roots and has continued to grow. I think a lot of the people who believe that vaccines are dangerous are parents who are just worried about their kids - and also want to protect other kids from a threat they believe to be real. Why is one debunked article more persuasive to people than a million proving the efficacy of vaccines? It is literally beyond reason.

It suits me to believe: people motivated by self-interest who adopt a conspiracy theory to support their larger world view. Their self-interest could be anything from their own ego to gun rights. The conspiracies around the Sandy Hook Primary School shooting are interesting because you can see a clear motivation for people to subscribe to that theory rather than the truth. If you’re a keen gun-owner, arguining that the shooting was a hoax to generate anti-gun sentiment and thereby allow the Democrats to pass harsher gun restrictions is neat and comforting. No one could argue that the events of Sandy Hook weren’t inhumanly terrible  - so the only option is to argue that they didn’t happen at all. Plus, in this worldview, no kids are getting hurt so you can sleep easy knowing you have seven semi-automatic weapons in the house.

I need to believe: the world is disorganised, scary, unknowable. Ocean deep, sky vast, dark impenetrable - and meanwhile our skin is so thin and delicate. So. Wouldn’t it be comforting to think that there’s a race of reptilian overlords that control the planet by whipping their tails against a complicated system of levers and pullies? That would explain a lot of the chaos in our world. Or maybe the problem is an elite coterie of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles? If only we could defeat those accursed pedophiles then life would be peaceful. Luckily, Q and a septuagenarian reality TV host are here to save us. 

Across these categories, there are two unifying features: 

Rejection of widely accepted truth 

Investment in the conspiracy

As a comparison with the conspiracists above, here’s my take on a conspiracy: I think it’s quite probable that Epstein didn’t kill himself. I think that some powerful, shadowy entity took him out to protect itself. But I’m not obsessed by this idea. It would not surprise or upset me if this was officially confirmed - similarly crazy shit happens all the time. I haven’t devoted my life to revealing this truth. I guess I fit into the “I Believe” category: all official information says that Epstein took his own life but my scepticism of the unusual circumstances around his death and Epstein’s powerful connections leads me to doubt the official information. The difference is I don’t do anything about it. I don’t really care if I’m right or not - I’m not that invested in the conspiracy.

And that’s why it seems ludicrous to me that Facebook should be tasked with combatting the conspiracy theories spiralling across our culture. Simply being exposed to bad information does not radicalise you, does not conjure an investment in the conspiracy. If a normal person reads something creatively wrong or misleading they discard it from their mind. If it hits a chord with them, they may adopt that opinion themselves - see: astrology, Armie Hammer as cannibal, tarot cards, essential oils as serious medical treatment, etc. But the evolution from agreeing with a thought to militaristically insisting that the rest of society also agree with it is an abnormal progression. That strange impulse runs deeper in people than their Facebook timeline.

Most people have fears for the planet or believe there are major issues plaguing humanity - and we never do anything about it because it would be mildly inconvenient or because it’s too hard to care about every issue under late capitalism: 

"But sorting my recycling is boring”

“Yeah yeah fast fashion is problematic but H&M is just so affordable" 

"Of course I hate R.Kelly! But ‘Ignition (Remix)’ is my jam” 

“At least they have suicide nets in the Foxconn factories now”

“I only buy free range chicken thighs because I care about animal welfare”

“I retweeted that thing about anti-Black racism. Yay racism solved!”

There are probably lots of people who believe in conspiracy theories but are ultimately apathetic about doing anything: they can’t be bothered talking about vaccines and politics all the time, can’t be bothered going to a protest, can’t summon the interest to care much. So what’s interesting then is that across the three categories of conspiracy theory belief (I believe > It suits me to believe > I need to believe), what a person believes in, and perhaps even the reason for the belief, doesn’t create any impetus to enact real world change. On both the left and the right, the impulse to do something about an issue is rare. Do you think conspiracy theorists, like the left, have a problem with performative activism? 

Imagine that you agree that Sandy Hook was a false flag, that ‘they’ hired crisis actors to publicly grieve as if their pretend children had been murdered... do you then get in your car and drive overnight to Sandy Hook and start harassing those crisis actors at the pretend funerals? What do you call someone like that? The hero of their own story.

Just wait!

In their worldview, QAnon are unironically trying to save us from pedophile cannibals. Given what conspiracists believe to be true, they are acting in good faith and doing the right thing. If you believed this shit, you’d be upset too. The fact that they’re doing something about it is kind of admirable: they don’t want our babies to get autism from the measles vaccine, they don’t want a deep state to manipulate our democratic governments. It’s existential for all of us - we just don’t agree on the threat. 

Can you imagine how electric the riot at the Capitol Building must have felt for the people who led it. Brave, romantic, a grand gesture: it was like their Storming of Tuileries. Remember this day forever! 

Modern conspiracists are actually similar to the sans-culottes in terms of being avid consumers of propaganda and inflammatory reporting. Disinformation and stirring rhetoric are not new - but shouldn’t people today be less clueless than 18th century peasants?

Why are there are so many people who believe things which are untrue? They exist on this planet with us but interpret it so differently. These questions really are existential: an ancient, echoing maw pointing to the heart of human nature. The struggle for a more perfect world, whispers about where the danger comes from at night, arguments about how to protect ourselves. 

Has there ever been a society where people didn’t have differing views on how best to shape the world? It’s the central conflict of human existence: epic, older than language - and now we want Facebook to fix it?