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breadqueen95 · 2 years ago

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hi i love your eren insomniac au so much 😭💛 may i request for a modern au eren x reader (fem/gn) - where eren stands up for the reader from being disrespected by toxic parents? more of like a comfort hc? don’t worry if you are unable to, thank you so much for reading this & putting in so much effort to ur writing <3 have a great day lovely !!

oh my gosh thank you!!!! it's one of my favorite hcs i've written so I'm so happy you like it too! and thank you the most for being here and saying such kind things, it means a lot to me

but FUCK YEAH i can do that for you!!! i'm sorry if this is a situation you have to deal with :( i have my own set of toxic parents so i know how hard it can be. i hope this helps, even just a little <3

kind of turned into a whole ass fic???? i'm so sorry about that lol i hope it's okay!

CW: anxiety, depression, slight ptsd, heavy themes of toxic parental relationships, body issues

modern!Eren Jaeger x fem!Reader

Before

Eren knows about your family. He's known, or at least suspected, from those very first few weeks of getting to know you. He has his own issues with his dad - even though everyone's situation is different, he's come to learn how to recognize those long lasting scars in other people. It hurts him beyond belief that he can see those scars in you, his favorite person.

It was even harder seeing how deep those scars go once you two began your relationship. It took awhile for Eren to help you understand that his love for you wasn't transactional. It wasn't conditional. It didn't depend on the size of clothes you wore, or how many achievements you could tack onto your resume. That you didn't have to walk on eggshells every waking moment just to make sure you didn't misstep. He just loves you. You're still learning that, and trying to show him the very same kind of deep and unyielding love for him.

Even so, Eren has his mom. Carla has been able to show him nothing but pure and unconditional love from before he can remember - a stark contrast from Grisha. He was able to start healing and separating himself from that toxicity from a young age, and hasn't really spoken to him since. Your situation is different - both parents, both different yet similar brands of harshness, both still in contact.

It's complicated. He knows it is. You've even said it yourself.

Doesn't stop him from being so, so gentle with you. From waking up every morning ready to protect you and remind you how much he loves you. It started like that from the very first minute he lay eyes on you, when he knew instantly how much he was going to love you, to now, and every moment to come.

So when your parents kept insisting they had to meet him, Eren tried to convince you that it wasn't that important. That they could try and do this over FaceTime first, test the waters a little bit.

You honestly didn't want to share him with them at all. He's such a sacred part of your life, something so good and pure and wonderful. You're scared that if he sees where you come from, just how bad it can get with them, he'll leave.

You're always terrified that you'll scare him off.

You tell him so one night, as you're wringing your hands together, panicking after yet another passive aggressive text about meeting Eren. It stresses you out more and more every time.

Eren doesn't say anything at first. Just wraps you up in his arms. Pulls you against his warmth. Cradles you against his broad chest, stroking every part of you he can reach with a featherlight touch.

"Baby," he croons, "there's nothing you could show me that could scare me off."

Your stomach swoons every time he calls you that. Can't be helped. He giggles a little at the stutter in your breathing with the pet name, but doesn't poke fun at you just now.

"You're already so goddamn patient with me," you whisper shakily, his name for you unable to sway you from anxiety, "I just don't--"

"I love you," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead, "I will always love you. I just want you to feel safe and happy, and I'll do everything I can to make you feel that way. Got that?"

Despite the tears filling your eyes, you smile bashfully and hide your face in his neck, leaving thankful and affectionate kisses all over his warm skin.

Okay, so maybe you could do this. You have Eren.

During

After much hounding from your parents, you and Eren find yourselves standing outside the door of your parent's house. You've got a plate of brownies in one hand and Eren in the other. He runs his thumb over your knuckles rhythmically in a way that grounds you. In his other hand, he holds a bouquet of flowers for your mom, ever the gentleman. Carla raised him right.

Everyone's all smiles at first. Eren's impressed; he knows how scared you are, how nervous, but you're putting up a good front. But the more he thinks about it, the more your skill at hiding how you're feeling makes him sad. You've clearly had a lot of practice.

Your parents are showing the good parts of them. You've explained to Eren how there are good memories with them; they can be so loving, so kind. And right now, they're welcoming you home and Eren into their lives with open and loving arms. They're asking Eren all kinds of questions about his life and his interests. Asking about your relationship, how you met, things like that.

It starts to fall apart during dinner.

Eren can see that you've gotten a little more comfortable. Your shoulders aren't as tense, breaths coming a little easier. It's easy for him to understand why you're at war with yourself constantly over how you feel about them.

Then somehow everyone ends up on the subject of something you're passionate about. Eren, for one, is thrilled. Watching you talk about the things you love is one of his favorite activities. Your eyes light up in the most breathtaking way, and your smile is downright infectious. He could listen to you for hours.

"Oh boy, here we go," your mom sighs from one end of the table.

Just like that the spell is broken. Eren has a front row seat as he watches your face fall, your voice cutting off into heavy silence. Your brows knit together as you look down at your plate.

"You're obsessing again," your dad adds with a patronizing laugh.

Eren looks up and in between your parents. They laugh, looking at him as though trying to include him in whatever sick joke they think they're making.

He looks back at you. You're masking it for now, but your hands are clenched in the tightest fists he's ever seen under the table. He reaches under the table and takes the hand closest to him, and ever so gently, tries to coax your fingers open. Trying to get you to let him in.

"Sorry," you say with a self-deprecating laugh, "I know I can get carried away."

Eren's heart shatters. He doesn't know how many times you said this, mostly in the beginning of your relationship and in group settings. You're always so convinced that no one wants to hear you talk, so you end up apologizing for it.

Now he sees it. Where it comes from.

Schooling his face into a friendly expression despite his rage, he squeezes your hand, saying, "No, keep going, I love hearing you talk."

"Nah, it's okay," you shrug nonchalantly, before changing the subject.

The way you're squeezing his hand begs him to drop it. So he does.

But then it keeps going.

You reach for a second helping of something, and your mom says, "How are you still hungry?"

You don't end up getting that second helping.

You make a joke about something, wrinkling your nose in that cute little way he loves so much.

"Yeah, don't tell your coworkers that one," your dad adds in.

Eren has to watch your beautiful face fall.

You're talking about how many long hours you've worked recently, how tired you are.

Cutting you off, your mom jumps in about how hard she works. Very much indicating there's no way you can be more tired than her.

Eren sees you breaking under the weight of it all. His sweet, fiery, passionate girl, reduced to whatever palatable version of you your parents find acceptable. They've tried to make poking fun at you a bonding activity ever since he stepped into their home, and despite his stone faced reactions, they just keep going.

He has to get you out of here. His protective instincts are raging at him to just get you out.

But your mom insists on pictures. So you pose together. Full group picture first. Then one of you and Eren. Eren tries to pour every ounce of love he has into the way he holds you, but he can feel you shaking. He wants to scream, but he pastes a smile on his face instead.

Then it happens.

"TTI, sweetie."

What the fuck? What does that mean?

Then, like a soldier responding to a command, he feels you suck in your soft tummy to the point where he wonders if it's painful.

"Sorry, what does that mean?"

Eren tries to ask in what he hopes is a joking manner, but you can hear the barely suppressed anger just underneath.

"Tuck Tummy In," your mom explains with a lighthearted smile, "now smile--"

"Why would you say that to her?"

He doesn't even try to hide his outrage this time. Eren, a normally very expressive person, has spent the entire night burying his need to put the people hurting you in their place. Now he's had it.

"Eren, it's fine--"

"No, it's not," he seethes, curling his fingers around your waist in a vice grip.

Your parents are silent. No one's ever called them out like this before. You've tried to have discussions with them in the past about things like this, approaching it in a very calm, polite manner, but it always ended badly.

"There's nothing she has to fix about herself to look drop dead gorgeous for a picture. Nothing."

"It's just something we say--"

"Not anymore it's not. Not when I'm here."

You're ready for the yelling to start. You flinch, curling yourself closer into Eren's side. A kneejerk reaction cultivated by years of emotionally volatile parenting. Eren tightens his arm around you. He might be ready to go to war on your behalf, but he's gonna make sure you feel safe at the same time.

Your dad steps forward, a self righteous glare on his face as he looks at Eren.

"You don't speak to my wife that way--"

"Oh, you mean the way you've spoken to your daughter the entire night?"

Heavy silence fills the room. Eren worries that he's gone too far, but then he feels you press even closer to him. If you were upset, you'd be putting distance between you two.

Your parents look at you, expecting you to come to their defense, but you don't. You won't.

"He's r-right," you whisper shakily, "I've told you before how the kinds of things you've said tonight make me feel."

Then, like clockwork, your mom gets misty eyed. Your dad gets stern, condescending, and loud.

"I just wanted a nice night."

"Look at how you made your mother feel."

"I guess we're just the worst parents."

"We'll talk about everything soon," you murmur politely, reaching down to lace your fingers together, "but Eren and I are going home now. Thank you for dinner."

As you go to lead Eren out of there, he tugs you to a stop. You turn and look at him quizzically, wondering what else he could possibly say to them (not that you're complaining). He gives you the sweetest of smiles, the one he reserves just for you. It's the one that says, Don't worry baby. I've got you.

"Since we've already gone there, might as well add some things for the record," he says as he turns around to face them, his hand still holding yours.

"Number 1, it's a goddamn privilege to listen to her talk about anything she wants. For as long as she wants. Anyone who's in the room when she decides to share her passion should count themselves lucky."

Tears gather in your eyes. The happiest of tears.

"Number 2, there are days when I barely see her eat a thing. Those are the days she tries to make herself as small as possible, shrink in on herself. Today was a good day. You took that from her and you should be fucking ashamed."

You start to smile, so in love with this man. Even as your dad starts to raise his voice at Eren's cursing.

"Number 3," Eren says assertively, silencing him, "her belly, the one you shame her for, is one of my favorite parts about her."

Your parents are silent. They stare at Eren in shock, not daring to believe someone could call them out on behaviors they've refused to acknowledge for so long.

Eren turns back to you, green eyes shining with love, and says, "Ready to go?"

You nod. He wraps an arm around you to tug you into him, and leads you out of the warzone.

After

When you and Eren first get in the car, doors slamming shut behind you, he's instantly apologetic.

"I'm so sorry, I let my emotions get the best of me. I never should've gone that far--"

You cut his words off by kissing him, trying to pour every bit of gratitude and love into the way your lips move against his.

The kiss ends, but you stay close to him, resting your forehead against his.

"I'm gonna have a hard time tonight," you warn, your entire body trembling with the emotional aftershock of your confrontation. Once the adrenaline wears off it'll be even worse.

"I know," he whispers, kissing your nose lightly, "it's okay. I'd be more worried if it wasn't."

He goes to pull away so he can start the drive home, his protectiveness ever pushing him to get you to a safe place, but you stop him. You place both hands on his face to bring him back to you, kissing him softly again. You open your eyes, meeting the vivid green of his, and you fall even more in love with him.

"Thank you. For keeping me safe."

"I'd do anything for you."

He says it so simply. So factually. He leans forward to kiss you once more, then finally tears makes himself pull away so he can start the car.

As Eren starts the drive down the sleepy residential street, he keeps one hand on your knee, making smoothing circles on your skin. You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth, kissing his loving fingers, before setting it down again.

"I love you so much," you say.

"Love you more," he answers.

*******

And that night is bad.

The hurt sets in and pulls you under. Your self-esteem, already so fragile, seems to break apart from under you. You feel meaningless and empty.

That's what happens when the people who're supposed to love you the most reduce you to a shell of a person. When they work tirelessly to smother every part of what makes you you. When they dampen that fire that keeps you going, gives you purpose.

It's what they've been doing all your life.

But now you have Eren.

The darkness doesn't feel as all encompassing as it has before. He doesn't let you isolate yourself, knowing it's your self-destructive instinct to do so. Eren keeps you close to him, the best comfort there could possibly be.

He gets you out of the clothes you trapped yourself in to impress them, getting you into a hot shower with him so he can wash your hair for you. He holds you close under the hot stream of water, kissing every inch of your skin he can reach.

Afterwards, Eren dresses you in the most comfortable clothes he can think of. The ones he's seen you happiest in. It just so happens to be one of his t-shirts and a clean, comfortable pair of underwear.

Eren doesn't think he's ever seen you more beautiful.

He curls up with you on the couch, turning on your favorite comfort show to try and distract you. He holds you as close as he can, enveloping you in gentle touches and soft words.

You don't have the words to process everything that happens tonight. Eren doesn't expect you to. He just holds you, showing you how much he loves you. How much he values you. How he can't live without you.

As you climb into bed with him that night, Eren sees you poking at your belly, mouth twisting in distaste.

He reads you better than anyone in the world. Even in the darkness of your bedroom, he can feel how unhappy you are. He can practically hear the hurtful words you hurl at yourself in your head.

So he rolls on top of you, settling himself so you're nose to nose. You look up at him with big eyes, and Eren can't help but smile. He leans down and kisses you.

"You're so gorgeous, y'know that?"

You roll your eyes, and you open your mouth, ready to brush off his statement. But he keeps going.

"I'm so serious," he says with a laugh, "I can't even pick which part of you I love the most."

He bends down to kiss you again, his unbound brown strands acting as a curtain for both of you.

"There's this part," he murmurs as he kisses you again.

"Then there's this part," he whispers, bending down farther to kiss your neck. You sigh, reaching up to weave your fingers through his soft hair.

He presses an open mouthed kiss to your collar bone, whispering against your skin. You can't even process what he's saying anymore. The way he kisses you is enough to make every thought leave your brain.

Then somehow he's slithered down to where his face is level with your stomach. You pull it in self-consciously, trying to tug him back up to eye level, but he stubbornly stays right where he is.

"Now right here," he murmurs huskily as he lifts your shirt, "is my absolutely favorite part of you, pretty girl."

Eren's not lying. He's shown how much he loves your tummy before. He wraps his long fingers around your waist on either side, dipping his head to kiss the soft skin he loves so much.

You simply lay back and let him love you, tired of fighting it tonight. You revel in the way he adores you so honestly, so openly, so unconditionally.

Both of you know it'll never be easy, not with your histories. But Eren showed tonight that he's willing to march into battle for you to keep you safe, to prove to you how important you are.

You love him. He loves you. Even when your family makes you doubt your worth, that'll never change.

***

Writing this was like therapy. Hope it was okay <3

Request here

#eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren headcanons #eren yeager x reader #eren fluff #comfort fic #aot headcanons #modern au eren #jenna writes #he's my rotten soldier #my sweet cheese #my good time boy #no but seriously in a modern au he would be so sweet

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bucky-at-bedtime · 4 years ago

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Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

#stucky #stucky fics #stucky fic recs #fic rec

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msmarvelouswinchester · 4 years ago

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Irresistibly Yours

Chapter 1 - The Elevator

Summary - Y/N Y/L/N moves to NYC in hopes for a fresh start after a nasty breakup. There she meets her neighbor, the cynical lawyer, Dean Winchester. A love-hate relationship starts evolving between them ever since they met in the elevator one morning but a desperate situation and a string of lies forces the two friendly rivals to go on a date or rather a fake date. Will sparks fly between them when Dean gets to know Y/N real and up close? Will Y/N finally find her Prince Charming in the grumpy, workaholic, divorce lawyer?

Pairing - Lawyer!Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warning - None for this chapter

Word Count - 1981

Square Filled - Moodboard ( @girl-next-door-writes )

A/N - *Cracks knuckles* Ta-daaaa! The series is finally here it's already Sunday where I live and I was dying to share this! It's going to be a wild ride ahead. So buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy the ride!

This is also my submission to @flamencodiva's Writing Challenge and @deanwanddamons' 2K Blogiversary challenge (congratulations on your milestone, Sian). Prompts are in bold.

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 (Thanks again, hon❤️)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Throwing her bag over the table, Y/N slumped down on the couch, letting out a sigh. The pressure from the higher-ups, consistent criticism of your work and impending deadlines were weighing heavily on her shoulders and she was in a desperate need of a break.

She looked over to the stack of papers on the table that now lay abandoned. The rejection from the publishing company was the fucking cherry on top. Y/N buried her face in her hands in frustration as she was almost on the verge of a mental breakdown, a few angry tears rolling down her cheeks. Letting her head fall back, she swiped away those angry tears, letting out a long sigh of defeat.

“Why can't I ever do anything right?” She mumbled, her breathing heavy as she bit down on her trembling lips.

In her late twenties, after a nasty break up, Y/N had a marvellous thought that she needed a fresh start. So she had left her corporate job back in Atlanta and moved to New York to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer. She had secured a good position in one of the leading magazine companies and started to write the novel that she had been planning since she was seventeen, but lately nothing seemed to work out the way she wanted. Sure, she was getting paid well but it wasn't enough compared to how much she had to deal with her shitty coworkers and bosses. She had now lost every motivation to continue her novel after the first draft got rejected by the publishing companies enough times to make her feel insecure about her writing.

“Why can't my life just be a goddamn Hallmark movie?” Y/N muttered under her breath as she picked up a cushion and covered your face, letting out a muffled scream.

Her wallowing time was interrupted by the blaring noise of her phone in the awfully quiet apartment, making her nearly jump out of her skin. Another frustrated groan left her lips as she saw the person calling her.

“I told you to stop calling me, for god's sake!” Y/N yelled into her phone.

“Come on, Y/N. One dinner.” The man on the other end pestered. “You know, at work people talk about how uptight you are. Let yourself go, once in a while.”

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Michael- I'm not interested. I told you a hundred times before and I'll say it again. Leave. Me. Alone!” She said. The line on the other side went quiet.

“Bitch.” She heard him say before the call disconnected.

“Fuck off!” She yelled again, knowing fully well he couldn't have heard her now. Y/N finally decided to put him in her blocklist because Michael didn't seem like he was gonna stop otherwise.

It wasn't that she had a stick up her ass for not wanting to go on a dinner date with her coworker. Honestly, she missed the whole first date experience, but Michael was definitely not the guy for her, or for any other girls out there in her opinion. He threw around sexist comments around the office like it was some cool shit and chivalry was definitely dead for him.

Y/N finally got up from her seat, shoulders still tense from the day's events. Opening the refrigerator, she stood there gawking at the leftovers in it.

“Cold pizza….spaghetti….chocolate brownies….” She looked at your dinner options, weighing each one's pros and cons before settling on - “Brownies it is.”

Taking out the chocolate confection , she returned to the couch. She put on Netflix as she browsed through it's movie section.

“Stupid Prince Charming-” she scoffed, biting into the delicious the chocolate chip brownie in hand. Grumbling at the unrealistic standards of Netflix rom coms, she still pressed the play on the film The Proposal.

Finishing her 'dinner', Y/N picked up the comforter, nestling deep into her couch as she watched the coldhearted Margaret fall head over heels for her assistant, the exhaustion kicked in.

“Fuck!”

And that's how the next morning started as Y/N woke up one hour later than usual. She had fallen into a deep sleep on her couch before Andrew even got to propose to Margaret, which was not exactly the wisest decision as the next morning, her neck and back screaming in pain.

The girl knew she was going to be late to work today by the time she had left the house. Hair up in a messy bun, a bag hanging from her shoulder, she tried to smoothen down the creases on her skirt before rushing towards the elevator in high heels.

“Hold the door!” She yelled at the man inside as soon as the door started to close. She sprinted towards the elevator as the man kept looking at her, an annoyed look evident on his face when he slammed the button, taking a step forward to keep the door from closing.

“Thank you!” Y/N huffed, as she got in the elevator. The man chose to remain silent and he pressed the ground button on the elevator. “I am so screwed today! I have never been this late to work!” She babbled on but the man still maintained the stoic look on his face. Y/N slightly turned to face the man of stone. He was probably in his thirties, his dirty blonde hair, sparkling green eyes and light stubble on his cheeks went very well with the crisp grey suit he was wearing. One hand in his pocket, he just stood there, jaw clenched together, eyes focused on the shut doors.

“You know, I should have set the alarm! Stupid-”

“Do you ever shut up?” The man finally spoke, a look of disinterest passing his face.

“Wow. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Excuse me?” His voice was hard.

“I said, someone woke up-”

“I heard what you said. I am just not interested in listening to your morning fuck-up story.” He scoffed.

“Woah, okay.” She widened her eyes at his disrespectful comment, “I just-” The elevator reached the ground floor of their apartment building and the doors opened with a ‘ding’.

“I think you don't want to waste anymore time talking since you're already running late.” Y/N gasped slightly at the audacity of the man. “Have a good day, Miss L/N.” The man wished before moving out of the confined space as Y/N narrowed her eyes at him and wondered how he knew her name.

“Have a good day as well, Mr….” She trailed off as she got out of the vator as well.

“Dean Winchester.” He said as he walked away, never once looking back as Y/N stood there, bewildered at what just happened.

Hands balled up into fists in apprehension, Y/N inhaled audibly, as she stood on the other side of the door. She was late to the meeting by half an hour, twenty-four minutes to be precise and nothing annoyed her boss more than tardiness.

“Y/N, it's a pleasure that you finally graced this meeting with your presence on this fine morning.” Abaddon’s words laced with acute sarcasm made it quite clear that Y/N was doomed when she entered the room. The remaining four pairs of eyes in the room were zeroed in on her, as she abashedly took a seat at the far-end of the table. She couldn't risk her job because of her smartass mouth and she was already on thin ice, so she kept quiet and let Abaddon carry on with the meeting cause even Cruella De Vil would be hiding her face in shame if she ever met Abaddon. She was an Umbridge before her coffee and a Regina George after drinking her coffee. There was no way she was going to spare the poor girl today.

“As I was pointing out, our sales have gone down in recent months quite drastically. Readers are saying the contents are not relatable or entertaining enough….”

A yawn threatened to leave Y/N as she listened to Abaddon go on about the poor performance of the company, her mind preoccupied by a certain green-eyed man. She had never seen Dean in the building before this morning. He was annoyingly good looking and rude and Y/N couldn't seem to get rid of the image of him looking dapper in that grey suit. She was barely able to focus on what Abaddon was saying.

With Dean Winchester still running through her mind, Y/N trudged back to her small cubicle after the painfully hour long meeting.

Plopping down on the chair, covering her face with her hands, she exclaimed, “I need coffee!”

“Thank me later.” She turned her head to Meg as she pushed a hot cup of coffee towards her before going back to her own cubicle.

“Black, just like my heart.” She said before inhaling the strong smell of the drink. Taking a little sip, she let out a sigh of content. “Jesus, I needed this badly.”

“Yeah, you look like shit,” Meg chuckled, earning a glare from her friend. “Did you even take a look at the mirror today? Honestly, I am not even exaggerating, I-”

“Meg, I’ll forever be grateful to you for this cup of coffee, but please stop talking.” Y/N groaned loudly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Michael walking towards her and put on headphones and turning the volume up, trying to look busy. “Heads up, incoming douchebag.” The brunette said. After the hubbub of the morning and the shitshow of a meeting, Michael was the last person Y/N wanted to see.

“Morning, Y/N.” The smug smile on his face made her cringe. This had been going on for a month now. She thought after last night, Michael would finally back down, but apparently she was very wrong. “My messages don't seem to get through anymore.”

“She blocked you. God, take a hint.” Meg muttered.

“She's right. It's ‘cause you can’t seem to take no for an answer.” Y/N huffed.

“One dinner. Just one.”

“No.”

“She said no. Isn't that enough?” Meg jumped to her friend’s rescue when she saw her fumbling and getting uncomfortable. Michael inched towards Y/N anyway, completely ignoring his colleague’s comment, a smirk evident on his face.

“Y/N, don't be so uptight. What harm does a single dinner gonna do?” He asked.

“It’ll be cheating. I have a boyfriend.” Y/N blurted out, making Meg’s eyes go wide, but it actually seemed to work as Michael moved away from her.

“A boyfriend?”

“Yeah. We have been going out for a while now.” The said man frowned as he thought the words over before leaving her space with a little nod of his head. Maybe it worked on him without any hassle, but she knew this lie would come back to bite her in the ass if the whole office got to know about it. Oh, and they would know since turning around, Y/N saw Ruby staring at her, a grin appearing on her face as she took in all the juicy gossip. The lie was now gonna spread like wildfire.

“Spill.” Y/N turned to look at her friend who stood there, hands folded, eyes wide, brows raised in utter disbelief. She puckered her lips as she waited on Y/N to explain who just frowned in reply. “Well? What happened? I want all the details, Y/N!”

“Oh come on, L/N. Share the deets.” Ruby snickered. “Who's the man that actually managed to capture your heart?”

“Dean Winchester.” The name tumbled out of her lips so easily and that was how she knew she was screwed.

Chapter 2

Feedback is highly appreciated!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in this series!

#deanwanddamons2kcelebration #girl next door's make me feel bingo #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #au dean x reader #dean winchester #irresistibly yours #au dean winchester x reader #dean x y/n #dean winchester x y/n

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touyaz · 3 years ago

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For context I'm hafu Japanese Canadian

For me it depends on like the situation like "I hc this character as X because of XYZ canon reasons" vs "this character is now X because I said so" like the first is at least there's I guess a reason? Like oh these things remind me of my race or my experiences so I like to see this character as this (so long as they don't push these HCs on others) vs the later which just reminds me of my various childhood memories of people arguing with me that (insert character) cannot be Japanese because they don't look Asian/Japanese to white people (so many arguments over charas like Ichigo (Bleach) and Usagi/Serenity (Sailor Moon) because they don't have black hair and squinty eyes so how can they possibly be Japanese /s)

I definitely understand why other AAs/ACs don't feel comfortable, given how often that it is a common experience and how we're often told we don't need representation in American media because we have anime/kdrama/etc. Which is like okay? But if our only representation is in Asian based media (Often Asian media for Asians) then why should we share? It's not necessarily a good mindset to have but I think a lot of minorities, in general, share or have shared that mentality.

Others have brought up the point as well, you are erasing cultural context and other minorities for yourself when you do this (general you, not you specifically) and (at least I've found) sometimes doing your own culture a disservice, you make them speak a different language sometimes and say they're a different race and that's it (which like okay? I guess)

I don't think there's a straight answer and not everyone is ever gonna agree, obviously, but it doesn't feel actively harmful as much as it feels disrespectful, like, why do you feel the need to change a characters race? Are they not relatable enough to you, are they not good enough for you unless they are your own race?

I'm rambling but yeah, it's definitely a complex topic

TL; DR: you're gonna make someone mad regardless of how much you reason or how much it makes sense to you, do so at your own risk

🦇

yeahhh like I've seen fics where ppl have made characters certain religions & I don't think that's bad bc ppl can change their religious beliefs, but they can't change their race, so we should be more careful abt what kind of things we're hc'ing yk? & yeah I know a lot of ppl w that mindset and whilst it's not Good, I think it's at least understandable that ppl will want to hold onto what representation they have of their own community and not include others since they are excluded from other ppl's media. it's nice to see the west have more diversity in media now and actually have it be made by poc so it's an accurate representation (thinking of turning red but I haven't finished it so no spoilers pls </3) & I hope that encourages more ppl around the world to do the same (like ali in squid game!! <3) & yeahhh it comes as more disrespectful like... race is impt to their identity and erasing that is taking away a part of who they are/how they've grown etc. idk imo we should just leave things that we can't change as it is originally, & if u want more rep then u can make oc's yk?

#but yeah def a complex topic it's been nice to talk abt it & hear other ppl's views #thank you for sharing your thoughts & experiences!!!!#anon

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werewolfashton · 3 years ago

Text

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

hello, so days late but the wonderful @igarbagecannoteven tagged me for the fic year review thingy! so here i am let's see how this goes

number of stories posted on ao3

word count posted for this year

15065 .. honestly that's more than i expected but i don't think ao3 is lying?

fandoms i wrote for

5sos mainly.. and some undisclosed other stuff lmao but most things are unfinished anyway

pairings i wrote

oh god. i'm supposed to remember this? eh. ot4. lashton. muke. malum. okay wait let me check. yeah no i was correct that's it. honestly interesting mix if i would've guessed a year ago i certainly would not have expected muke

stories with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments

make me up in a shade that fits me easily for kudos but it has the same amount of bookmarks and comments as i see the stars in the eyes of a vampire,, interesting to me i can't lie i would've expected won't you comfort me to be up there simply bc it seems like the most easily accessible? kinda universal fic idk

work i'm most proud of (and why)

oh well,, okay so i really don't know about proud. i don't particuarly feel very proud of any of the fics. i think what comes closes is tell tale heart though,, which funnily enough is like the worst when it comes to feedback etc. or maybe i see the stars in the eyes of a vampire simply bc i'm proud i managed to write over 8k

work i'm least proud of (and why)

okay so. funnily enough maybe i see the stars in the eyes of a vampire. i finished that in a rush and i think that shows. but also i don't feel particularly proud of in the forest dark and deep i think that could've been done better

share or describe a favourite review you received

okay see i love all of them, any sort of response has me tearing up. i wanna say every review of stay on the path i'm very fond of though bc of the general question in every review/comment being "is it michael"

also.. @igarbagecannoteven has a way with comments everytime i get one it makes me want to cry,, even with my moodboards

a time when writing was really really hard

so after i went through a writing marathon to finish i see the stars in the eyes of a vampire at the end of october i haven't written anything. or like maybe 1000 words over all. so it's been really really hard these last couple of months but i hope to get back into it now with starting a better routine

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you

i mean tbf all of my writing came to me as a surprise,, however i do think tell tale heart probably qualifies best. despite being a short piece i think the mc in that is very nicely done. in general i hadn't expected to ever write horror so it was all very much surprising.

a favourite excerpt of your writing

i really don't like my writing but this i don't hate (spoiler for stay on the path):

"You should've stayed at home, little red one," the stranger says.

Michael smiles.

(The wolf bares his teeth.)

“You should’ve stayed on the path,” Michael says.

The wolf attacks.

(The forest doesn’t take kindly to strangers who disrespect its rules.)

how did you grow as a writer this year

i mean. i started writing so there was that. it came as a surprise to me and it still is one tbh. since starting i have become i tiny bit more comfortable with dialogue as well

how do you hope to grow as a writer next year?

i hope to write more and longer pieces and care less about responses,, since interaction in this fandom? mh.. less than ideal. though i would also love to branch out and write more for other fandoms

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)?

oh helen @calumcest. i have some other incredible influences around me who have been so very supportive and i definitely couldn't have written anything without them. helen did however get me started and supported my first baby steps in writing and she is very much the reason i shared any of my writing with anyone else so it's gotta be her

anything from your real life show up in your writing this year?

lmao yeah the gender issues sorry

any new wisdom you can share with other writers?

okay so i feel very pretentious giving out any advice about writing when i've been doing so for less than a year and also have no idea what i'm doing but my best shot is: write that niche fic. just do it. there is no niche small enough that it only fits you. and even so as long as you enjoy it that's all that matters.

any new projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year?

i have a couple non sos fics i want to finish specifically a patrochilles fic. there is also a very niche fic for 5sos i started that i'd love to finish just for me

tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read

okay i really do not know who has done this yet but i do feel like most people did it days ago so i'm not gonna tag anyone however if you haven't been tagged and feel like doing this see this as me tagging you

#tag game #oh boy #idk if this is interesting or anything #but thank you lovely megs #i appreciate you thinking of me very much #also your answers were so interesting to see

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kreekey · 4 years ago

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I'm obsessed with your blog and your art! You're extremely talented! And I love your view on John and Paul because yessss 100000% they had lives outside of each other and other important relationships. That's one thing I find confusing about mclennon. But I still like parts of it. I'm not sure if it actually happened but I do think there was tension. Do you think there was a romantic tension or any opinions on it

Oh wow, I’m glad you like my blog and art!! Thank you so much I got a dumb grin on my face. And I didn’t think someone would come to ask me for my opinion on that stuff, haha 😅 but it’s really nice!

And I love your view on John and Paul because yessss 100000% they had lives outside of each other and other important relationships

I’m so glad someone shares my sort of feelings on this 😭💕💕

So in my view, I don’t know if there was romantic tension! I can see why people think so because sometimes they would say stuff like this:

“PAUL: It’s like, uh, “We have to get back.” “We’re on our way home.”

JOHN: Yeah.

PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing—

JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers.

PAUL: [reserved] Yeah. [pause]

JOHN: We’ll just have to camp it up for those two.

PAUL: Yeah. Well, I’ll be wearing my skirt for the show, anyway.”

[From the Get Back sessions]

But honestly? I think there was brotherly love, some sort of obvious connection, but I don’t think they were in love in the romantic sense. I think they longed for each other in 1969/1970, but because they were friends for so long--and such close friends--who were going through a not-so-clean breakup. You’d want that relationship back in the way it used to be. There were only four people in the world who could really relate to The Beatle experience, and two who knew what it was like to be Lennon/McCartney, right? So it was losing a friend, an immensely valuable one, one they had for so long and were so familiar with. And they said stuff like that to express how they really understood each other (hard thing to express...) or to respond to how the media portrayed them. But you can understand your friends without being in a romantic relationship with them. It would be difficult or impossible to fully explain their relationship because we’re outsiders, but I wouldn’t jump to ‘they were lovers’. Being great friends is still a beautiful story, I appreciate that. Sometimes I think the word ‘friend’ doesn’t fully encapsulate their dynamic, but I still think ‘lovers’ is something completely different. But anyway, that’s just what I think personally. Impossible to tell anything for sure haha.

Tangent: I know some of y’all say the ship was possible because John was bi or at least bi-curious. And yeah I believe he was bisexual/fluid in his sexuality, but being bi doesn’t mean you’re in love with your friends haha. I have a close (same gender) friend who’s pan and people at school will be like “are you in a relationship?” even thought we’ve said no and it’s kinda uncomfortable. Possibility doesn’t mean it... happened. I don’t think it can be used as evidence for him and Paul in particular, or else you can say it about any man John knew... Also, I believe Yoko when she said John never really entered a relationship with a man as he never found the right one because John literally said that, albeit in a lighthearted manner. (Extra tangent: I saw someone write that John would’ve come out as bisexual but the in the 1970s they didn’t have the word for it/John wasn’t aware of bisexuality. Whoever you were, you kinda undermine the fact John definitely ran in the scene where bi and other sexual orientations were relatively out. Here he jokes about hoping his baby to be bisexual lol. Anyway...)

I think my main opinion on the McLennon ship is that it’s nearly all speculation and interpretation, so it’s hard to discuss it. And I think some of the people who say it’s true want it to be true more than they want the truth (whatever it is), so much so that they’ll look past things that contradict it or will stretch their interpretations so far as to make it look like they were in love in the romantic sense. Sometimes people will post pictures of them looking at each other out of context or something as ‘proof’ of McLennon but it honestly makes me think of it as a parody. And I can see why shippers like it--it would be a gorgeous story and they had a great dynamic!! But I really don’t feel comfortable with people who claim it was 100% true. Because Paul has denied it openly and very clearly multiple times before. And he would know, I think. Plus other’s who write about John’s heterosexuality (like Cynthia for example). But, John can’t really respond. It feels nearly disrespectful and presumptuous to say you know about the lives of these two people if you didn’t actually know them, y’know? Especially because that, in particular, is such a personal issue. Sensational, even. And it’s also something to insert into biographies and to claim and a way to sell copies--I’m not saying that every author who claims it is being disingenuous, but I question people like Goldman. Because some of the people who support it will bring up straight false information to back it up. My basic view is that it’s fine to ship it as long as you don’t try to say you are certain in its reality. I don’t think the information is known to be able to say it’s certain.

Also, another one of my opinions related to ‘McLennon’ is that some of the fandom share made up quotes or stories as ‘proof’ for it. Support your ship, sure, but separate fiction from reality! These are real people. For example, I’ve seen this one posted a few times:

“Cynthia Lennon is a goddess, you know. Paul is a god. Aren’t I lucky to have such a religion?”

Not necessarily McLennon, but John calls Paul his religion. This is from an alternate history book called Walkin' Blues-Beatles At The Crossroads: An Alternate History Of The Beatles Novel (Jackie Lane). I also posted this one and asked if anyone knew the source for it:

“One night he was so drunk that I had to drag him away from the pub and bring him in a park to vomit. When he finished, he was upset so we sat on a bench. Still drunk and hesitant, he pointed his finger at a star straight above our heads and he said: ‘That is the star my mother dedicated to me and it has always been mine. But from now on it will be yours too, if you want. Its name is Mary Julia and every time you will at it in any situation, any moment, you will know that I’m there near to you and laughing about how queer you are. I will always be there, I promise, I will look at you from Mary Julia. And even the contrary because it’s our star, just ours, a star that belongs to two idiots that strum and that every night lie on a bench full of alcohol.’ I was flabbergasted and together we started to laugh. Some years later I looked at that star and I cried for the whole night. His laugh near me wasn’t enough to make me stop. But I realised that he kept his promise and it was beautiful.” [-- Paul]

Some people told me they were pretty sure it was from a fanfiction. Y’all, I wrote fanfiction too. I wrote a epistolary-like piece of fiction once. If someone shared it as a real quote I’d be fucking mortified lol. (Also, when I posted it asking for a source some people in the tags were like “I don’t care if it’s fake that’s beautiful” and I’m like how do you not?? That blurs the line between reality and fantasy and that’s terrible because they were live people like you and me at a point...)

Uhm I think those are my takes. Thank you anon for the ask!! Sort of an excuse to share all my thoughts that I figured no one cared for 😂😂 And I get people will disagree and that’s okay!! If you think there was tension, etc I can see why! In the end there were only two people out there that can really answer that.

#mclennon #John Lennon #paul mccartney #the beatles #opinión #the beatles fandom #fandom #anon #asks #personal #love ya anon!!#i know some of my mutuals are into mclennon and i respect that to be clear!!#(but at the same time i respect paul's word when he says nah) but i respect everyone #all of you #and #!!!i think it's a cute idea!!! i wrote fanfic and drew fanart of them like its obvious the idea of it is romantic #but in my head i always saw it as just an idea #i think #peace and love

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n3k0c0 · 6 years ago

Text

"Endlessly"

It was a normal day, like any other. The woods were alive with the birds chirping their song and the trees rustling in the gentle breeze. AJ sat in his garden out back, tending to his flowers and picking herbs for remedies. Ever since he had moved from his home and taken up the life of an apothecary he had lived a calm life, people occasionally coming to him for various remedies, serums, and things of the like. People called his gift for making such healing agents “a gift from the gods,” but he didn’t think so. He believed the gods looked down upon him, as his life before he left was truly the unluckiest one he could have lived. He learned to heal through hard work and dedication, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. He heard the back door to his house open, prompting him to look up. Standing on top of the steps that led to the garden was his dear friend, Roxas. He smiled softly and stood, quickly dusting off his apron before running over to Roxas. He stood a step below the boy as he waited for him to stop rummaging through his bag. Soon, Roxas pulled out a couple of small packages and handed them to AJ, who happily took them.

“Managed to find what you needed. It was a little hard,” Roxas said, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. AJ simply shook his head and smiled.

“Even if you found nothing I'd be grateful that you even took the time to look and go outside the town walls… You're the only one who does.”

“Well, as far as I know, no one else is good friends with an ex-prince who has worked night and day to get to where they are now.” Both boys shared a small laugh.

“How are Sora and Xion?”

“They're doing okay. Xion has started studying to be part of the the elite guard, and Sora's… Well, he's Sora.”

“Yeah, he is… And the elite guard! That's hard to get into with my father's stupid rules!”

“Well, she passed pretty much every test. She just has to go through physical in a couple of days, and she's been preparing like a madwoman.”

“Well, tell her I wish her luck. She's going to need it if my father will be supervising.”

“At least your sister, Ashlyn, will get the throne next. I'd hate to know what Amalthia would do if she ruled… Pray to the heavens that Ashlyn does step up soon.”

“I'm sure she will, given my father's condition when I left. He was sickly, but he tries to pass it off.”

“It's as if the gods want him gone, too…” Roxas said, winking. AJ giggled and led Roxas inside, where they unpacked the packages and set jars of liquid and jars of other materials in their proper places. Once that was done Roxas bid AJ farewell and made his way down the path back home. AJ made some quick remedies then made himself some tea. He went to the front porch, where he sat on one of the chairs and enjoyed his tea as he looked down the path. It was nice, peaceful…

“Well, fuck you, too, ass hats!” Well, the quiet didn't last long. AJ looked to the small path with tree cover that led to the nearby lake, where a voice had come from. It held such authority and held a certain sound that seemed similar to a raging fire. He set his cup down on the small table next to his chair and stood, quickly making his way to the path and running the rest of the way. He eventually made it to the lake, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. He looked around some more until he found a boy laying with the lower half of his body submerged in water. AJ ran over and knelt next to the boy, who was clearly still somewhat conscious. He had pale skin, his hair dark and sticking up all over the place. He was covered in blood and cuts, some big and some small. His breathing was irregular, as well. It was as if he had just been in a battle. AJ said softly, pulling the boy's arm over his shoulders. The boy groaned in pain as he was lifted to his feet, but seemed to silence as they began to head home. Once AJ got the boy inside he brought him to his room, laying him on his bed. AJ quickly got his first aid kit and moved to treat the boy's wounds, but it seemed all that was left was the blood.

“Did he heal himself…?”

“Of course I did, idiot…” AJ let out a small yelp as he threw the closed bottle of antiseptic at the boy. There was a small 'thunk’ accompanied by the sloshing of liquid, followed by a groan. The boy quickly moved his hand and covered his eye, sitting up in bed. “What the hell was that for?!"

“I thought you were unconscious!”

“Why would I be unconscious?!”

“Do you not remember the bleeding cuts you had?”

“Those were nothing compared to what I get in the battlefield, but I'm thinking that I might get a black eye from that bottle.”

“Over dramatic much?”

“It's not every day you get a bottle thrown at your face by a mortal and actually have it hurt.”

“Quit talking like your some higher being.”

“I could kill you right where you stand with a flick of my wrist.”

“... You're a rogue wizard, aren't you?”

“What? No!” AJ rolled his eyes and picked up the first aid kit, setting everything that had spilled out back inside.

“That's what they all say..."

“I'm a god!”

“And I'm a minister of the temple.” Both looked at each other for some time before AJ stood and put the first aid kit away. “So, either one of us is lying, both of us are lying, or none of us are lying. Take your pick.”

“You are. Why the hell would a prince become minister, much less an apothecary?” The boy asked. AJ stared at the boy for a few moments. The boy rolled his eyes. “Trust me. The gods won't shut up about you. You're supposed to be their 'chosen prophet,’ and that's what they hoped you'd become after you left home.”

“Just who are you?"

“Vanitas, God of War.”

“... Now the resemblance between you and the statue at the temple makes sense.”

“What, you're not afraid?”

“Not really. After disrespecting someone like you I can expect death."

“... So, what happened to make you an apothecary?” Vanitas asked changing the subject. AJ still hardly believed it was the actual god, but maybe it was better to play along than risk death.

“Didn't want to life of a prince. I hated being treated like I was this important person when I was just a kid. The only people who treated me like an equal were my close friends, but even then they were practically forced to keep their distance. I told my mom that I wanted a normal life, and she told me that she'd grant me one as long as I wrote to her as often as I could. I promised, and I ran to this place. I fixed it up with help from my friends, and I made it my workplace and home. I like it this way better than I would if I took the throne.”

“And what did your father have to say about this?”

“Oh, he told me there was hell to pay. Tried forcing me back to the kingdom, but Sora, Xion, and Roxas saved me with their powers. I'm thankful for that every day I see them.”

“What kind of powers?”

“They were born with them, but Sora got his amplified when he started working as a priest in the temple of Ventus.”

“Uh huh… and what of Xion and Roxas?”

“Roxas runs around as a trader, and Xion's working to be part of the royal guard… Why would you care?”

“You seem to surround yourself with people who are more successful than you… Those who get to travel the world, work under the gods, or even fight for their kingdom… How come?” AJ could tell that Vanitas was trying to dig deep, find a weakness. He wouldn't be swayed so easily. He quickly looked away and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“What I do is enough for me. They're happy with their lives, and I'm happy with mine.”

“You seemed to perk up at the idea of being the chosen prophet… Is that what you wanted before this?”

“What? Being a prophet isn't what I wanted. Besides, I'd have to be a woman to be one. They have the best sight.”

“What's in your eyes says otherwise…”

“I don't have time for this. You're all better, so please leave.” With that, AJ left the room and went to the backyard, where he sat in front of his bed of crysthanamum flowers. He needed to calm down, to find his peace. If that really was a god, then he had to go. He wanted nothing to do with working for the gods. They weren't there for him, so why would he be there for them? If he's struck down then and there, so be it. He lived a full enough life to be happy. Nothing was going to change that.

“How do people wear this…?” AJ asked softly, re-adjusting his eye covering for nearly the hundredth time. He become a prophet, though admittedly against his will. Vanitas brought his brother, Ventus, God of the Moon, to talk things out. When that didn't work, Ventus brought Terra, God of Earth, and Aqua, Goddess of the Sea and Goddess of Love. Seeing that they weren't going to give up, he reluctantly gave in. He was grateful that they were at least polite, unlike Vanitas.

“Well… It could be worse,” a girl's voice said. AJ sighed and leaned back in his seat, the carriage providing little to no comfort.

“Easy for you to say, Xion… You didn't have four gods in your house, trying to convince you to be their spokesperson.”

“Fair enough, but look on the bright side… You get to be in town."

“Yeah, but I don't get to see it…”

“There is that… and it's not like you'll be allowed to really go anywhere once we get to the temple… Once you're done there, we're off to the next… Man, the gods have it out for you, don't they?"

“Don't know what I did to piss them off… Besides, my vision will be the worst compared to lower prophets.”

“It's actually said that the most caring have the best vision… Doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman.”

“I feel so much better…” AJ said, sarcasm evident in his tone. Xion laughed nervously before falling silent for quite some time.

“You know… Once this is over, we can go back home. We can be ourselves,” she said, a dreamy edge to her tone.

“I wish… The gods are making me leave once I've given the last message to the last temple. I'll only be allowed back down when they need me to give messages or I have a vision, and who knows when that'll be…” he sighed. “The only ones I know of who objected to this are Aqua, Terra, and Ventus… They were overruled by the rest of the gods.”

“So there is some good in them… Any way you can get out of this?”

“If I fall in love with a god… I'd have to swear my life to them and take a blood oath.”

“I'd say go for Aqua, but she and Terra…”

“Yeah…”

“What about Ventus? You could practically be King of the sun alongside him…”

“Tempting, but… he looks too much like Roxas. I'd feel weird.”

“Then the only one is…”

“The biggest prick of them all.”

“Vanitas can't be… Well, actually, no, he would be. He is the god of war, after all.” Both shared a quick giggle before they felt the carriage come to a stop. Soon the door opened and Xion stepped out, taking AJ’s hand and helping him down. He could see through the veil that covered his eyes, but it was still annoying to wear. At the base of the steps to the temple of Ventus was Sora, who wore a forlorn expression. His temple was the last on AJ’s journey. As Xion led AJ up the steps with Sora trailing behind them, a woman began walking down the stairs. She seemed to pick up her pace as she neared the group, finally stopping in front of AJ and grabbing hold of his hands.

“AJ, I have some news… It's kind of good, but it's caused an uproar amongst the gods.”

“Uh… Aqua…?” AJ asked softly, the hood of the woman's cloak obscuring her face. She quickly took off her hood, showing her blue hair and blue eyes. Xion and Sora quickly fell to one knee with their head down to pay their respects.

“It's Vanitas… He's willing to live on Earth in exchange for your freedom. He'll still be a god, but he said he was willing to give up his place in the heavens for your freedom from, well… this,” Aqua said, gesturing to his attire. AJ didn't know what to say. He'd started this nearly three months ago, and now Vanitas was trying to let him go free? “There is one condition… He has to make you fall in love with him in the span of three months.”

“That's a generous time allotted, but falling in love? I don't think war and love go hand in hand like that.”

“Well… He said something along the lines of fighting for you, but that could just be me. He's probably at your place by now. Once you're done here, head straight home, alright?”

“... Okay.” Aqua smiled and hugged AJ tightly before putting her hood back on then running down the rest of the steps. Xion and Sora rose to their feet and stared at AJ for some time before Xion spoke.

“I see that you have good relations with her…”

“... More or less."

AJ stepped up to his home, his veil folded neatly in hand. He quietly opened the door, hearing silence and seeing a dimly lit front room. He stepped in and closed the door behind him, making his way towards the back. It felt weird to be home after three months, but it was nice. He opened the door to the backyard, where he found Vanitas standing amongst the roses. He stepped into the grass and set his veil on the ground, then went to Vanitas’ side. He looked to the god’s face, which seemed complacent.

“Why?” That was all he asked. He wanted answers to why this god, this higher being, was sacrificing his place in the heavens for a mere human.

“I shouldn't have gotten you involved in this…” Vanitas said, his voice barely louder than a murmur. He looked to AJ, clear sadness and regret in his eyes. “If it weren't for me then you'd be with someone you actually love, you'd still have a normal life. I was sent down here for starting a fight with Ventus. Had I just let what happened pass over, then you'd live your life how you wanted and you'd be okay.”

“God of war, being sentimental… That's something I never thought I'd experience in person.”

“Hey, I'm not all blood lust and violence.”

“I know, I know… it's just not what I'm used to,” AJ said softly, looking back up to Vanitas, who rolled his eyes as he turned his attention back to the roses.

“Tell me about these… Why red, and why pick roses?”

“Roses are my favorite… and red always gave me a sense of comfort. The deeper the red, the better. Why do you ask?” Vanitas picked a rose, holding it in his hand before looking to AJ.

“Isn't it customary for lovers to make a bond with a rose?”

“... We've got three months to make this work, so hold your horses.”

“Are you sure that you don't feel anything?” AJ opened his mouth to object, but no words came. He simply looked to the roses as he brushed a few loose strands of hair behind his ear.

“I'm… not sure, actually… I don't know… I liked Xion for a time, but I never said anything. I was afraid that she'd reject me, or that I'd mess up somehow and she's leave forever… I didn't want that, so I stayed silent,” he said, hanging his head. “I've stayed silent for a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have…” AJ said, which made Vanitas confused. He leaned down slightly to get a good look at AJ’s face, only to see tears on a practically expressionless face. AJ realized that Vanitas saw this and quickly wiped away his tears, closing his eyes to do so. As soon as he moved his arm away from his face he felt a warm, rough hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes as his face was gently turned to face Vanitas, who wore a look close to guilt. “I was given everything I could ever want, but I wanted nothing of it… I wanted what normal kids had, like a house and not a castle, a toy that would last a lifetime and not something deemed too childish for me… I wanted what I felt cheated out of.”

“Well… It's about time that changed.”

AJ sat on the porch of his home, sipping on lavender-chamomile tea with honey. It was a cool autumn day, the leaves now orange and gold with small leaves of red. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, a small smile on his lips. He looked to the front door of his home, where Vanitas came out with a small box in hand. It was strange, seeing such a feared god now dressed in such normal clothing, but Vanitas had made that choice. He stayed for AJ’s freedom.

“Feeling okay?” Vanitas asked, sitting down next to AJ. He nodded slightly as he stared out to the giant path.

“Yeah… Just waiting for Roxas to come with the ginseng and kelp.” Vanitas smiled as he rolled his eyes. He handed AJ the small box he had been holding, prompting him to open it. AJ carefully untied the twine holding the box together then opened it, his eyes widening as he saw a blood red gem framed by silver on a thin, black cord in the box. He looked to Vanitas for a few moments before looking back to the box. “Vanitas, I…”

“Here.” Vanitas stood then kneeled in front of AJ, taking the necklace from the box and putting it around AJ’s neck. “There… Now I'm never far away. Before you ask, I had a bit of a talk with Terra. He said that red really stood out with your monochromatic appearance. I'll probably ask for a sapphire next time I see him… Blue may be a bit standard for you, but it works better.” AJ giggled softly as he held the gem in his hand. Vanitas gently pulled AJ’s hand away from it then held both of the boy's hands in his own, leaning up and pressing his lips to the boy's cheek. AJ blushed at the sudden action, still getting used to such affectionate gestures. They rest their foreheads against each other, smiles on their faces.

“So… We'll be together for a while, won't we?”

“I have a feeling we'll meet again and again as time passes…” Vanitas said. “Doesn't matter what time in the future, I'll know it's you… You'll be as eternal as the gods, even if you're only human.”

Sure enough, different AJ’s came and went, having spent their lives. The time Vanitas met the boy again was in our present time. The key factor to point him out? The gem. That beautiful, blood red gem that hung right over his heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@khoc-week

#kh #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts oc

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prxttypeony · 3 years ago

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Oh, okay, I see. Meeting new people must be hard then. :/ But I can kinda understand, I also don't feel comfortable meeting new people. I struggle with new things and change, and I struggle even more with understanding new people, their personality, motivation, why the act the way they do and so on. So I avoid that as much as possible. Its different from being shy I guess, but I can understand how being around new people can be tough.

I could also never do something like that. Its just disrespectful. I don't understand how humans can be like this.

Yes, a lot of artists work very hard on their work and don't get much in return from the people. I think some people don't even understand how much work art is.

Yes, a lot of woman in science were treated so unfair. They worked so hard, probably even harder than the men at this time, because the were constantly held back from the society back than. Some of them weren't even able to go to school or university. Makes me really mad how women were treated back than, and how some women still get treated. Its not fair.

Totally okay, I laughed too, when my mom told me the story. 😃 Mimi is usually nice. But when she is mad or annoyed ... Yeah, not so nice anymore. 😅 My first bunny (her names was Bonny) was even more like this. When she was angry she attacked everything in her reach. She usually left a path of destruction behind her. She hated other bunnys. She also hated humans. But she loved food. 😃 When Mimi was younger she always tried to get near Bonny. Mimi wasn't even half of the size of Bonny. And Bonny attacked her. But Mimi didn't care, she always came back to Bonny. She was so clingy and no mather how mean Bonny was, she always came back to her. At one point Bonny gave up. 😅 I guess she was just like " okay whatever, just don't touch my food and you may live."

The older Mimi gets the more she behaves like Bonny. Bonny definitely didn't teach her good manners. 😅

Thank you. 💙 I will give her some pets from you later, hopefully she is in a better mood then. 😅

Sounds like good life plans. 😊 I totally understand. Living a quit comfortable life sounds perfect. I hope your mental health gets better with time. 💗 That must be very hard. :/ You definitely deserve to be super happy. 💗 And to have your dream life. 💗

Hmmm, well something I always wanted was my own house. 🏡 Like a small house in the forest or near the ocean, that would be absolutely amazing.🌲🏞️🌊 And having a big garden, where I can plant all the herbs and veggies I want. Having someone by my side would be nice too. I would like to have a relationship, someone to share my life with and all that. But than again I don't know how realistic that is. I mean I had a relationship once, but she pretty much always told me that I'm doing the whole social thing wrong, because I misinterpreted her behavior, or didn't see any signs she game me. (Also she turned out to be very transphobic, and it literally took me over a year to find out, which probably says a lot about me understanding other people😥😅) And the same with friends. Usually people don't like staying with me for long. So I think I also need to learn being okay, if I never manage to find someone. Its just hard to see everyone I went to school with or anyone around me, having happy relationships and getting married and having children and all, but not being able to build such connections myself. :/ Having my own home is probably also not very realistic because I need support to function in this society. But I really want my own house one day, that's a dream I'm not willing to give up. So maybe one day. 🏡🏞️

Hope you have a nice and happy day 💫✨🧸🌻🌸💙

-Sonja🪐

Sounds like Bonny had a very bright personality 🤭 It's nice that Bonny's legacy lives on through Mimi's silliness ☺️

Thank you very much for your kind words and wishes - it truly means a lot ❤️

Please don't be so harsh on yourself. There is no right or wrong way to socialise and communicate. We all interact with the world and people around us differently and that's okay! It's just a matter of finding people that are willing to learn and understand you and the way you communicate. So please don't take what your ex said too much to heart - their lack of ability, interest, or compatibility with your personality and social output is not a reflection of you or your value. You are absolutely worthy of the love you desire, and I am a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone. We just happen to find them at different paces sometimes. And about the transphobia thing - don't be too harsh on yourself about that either. People with those sorts of beliefs are often covert about them, and seeing as they were your partner too, it would have been even harder to see the negatives in the person you had feelings for. As for your dream of having your own home - I believe in you! You sound like a very hardworking and determined person so I have no doubt you'll achieve your goal. Needing help is also normal, we all need help in various levels and ways to be able to move through life in the best way we can. I hope you're able to find someone who is willing to stay by your side and being your partner, through thick and thin ❤️ You deserve it.

#ask #Sonja #🪐#you're amazing and i'm very proud of you 💖

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overdrivels · 7 years ago

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Hiyah dear! I saw your requests were open and I'm so excited! I was inspired by your piece about Hanzo I hope it's okay that it made me want some more "awkward" *wink wink* bed sharing. Gabriel continued to smirk at your expense. "What carino?" He questioned, "never shared a bed with another man before?" You huffed before throwing the bag that contained your gear on the ground next to the night stand. "Of course I have. That man wasn't my commander though"

Old Habits

”Doesn’t Blackwatch have a large budget? How the hell did we wind up with a single bed in a cheap motel?”

“Be grateful we even have a room at all, cariño.” Your commander, Gabriel Reyes, seemed to have no problem with the situation at all as he opened the door. “We blew most of it getting a certain ingrate back home.”

“Oh, the ransom thing last week?”

You followed in after him, exhausted after a long car ride in the scorching sun that soon turned into a frigid night. Weather in Arizona was wild. A bed sounded great to your aching everything right about now, but you know it’s one bed only and one of you will have to take the floor, or you’ll both have to share. And while it’s not ideal, it wasn’t all bad because have you seen Commander Reyes? He’s not exactly hard to look at.

“Yeah.” Gabriel sounded bitter and, you suspect, a tad fond as he recounted the memory. “Damn fool took the stupid ransom and the hostage. The collateral damage from that fire fight took out most of our resources.”

He tossed his bag at the bed where it bounced slightly before settling itself in the middle of the bed. Your jaw clenched when you saw it.

“It’s small.”

The entire length of it looked like it could barely contain your commander’s shoulders, let alone the both of you. You were both going to sleep there?

“Don’t worry, it’s just sleeping. Nothing’s going to happen.” He took a seat on the bed and began to take off his boots, a smirk playing on his lips.

You, on the other hand, remained near the door, arms crossed and still loaded with all your belongings, eyeing the bed warily. “I’d really rather not toe that line.”

He shrugged casually, tossing his heavy boots into a corner. “I’ll sleep on the floor, then.”

“No, you’re the commander.” And as unappealing as it sounded to your aching body, you insisted, “I’ll sleep on the floor. Rather do that than wake up with some story for McCree to laugh at.”

Gabriel gave you a look like he knew something that you didn’t. “It’s just sleep,” he repeated, “unless you expect something else to happen for the ingrate to laugh about?”

You spluttered, heat creeping up the back of your neck. “No! I just…don’t know if it’s appropriate for me to share a bed with you.”

Gabriel continued to smirk at your expense.

“What, cariño?” he questioned. “Never shared a bed with another man before?”

You huffed before throwing the bag that contained your gear on the ground next to the night stand. “Of course I have. That man wasn’t my commander though.”

The bag itself made a very satisfying thud that solidified the end of your current conversation. You really didn’t need to hear that from him, and wondered if he even knew that you had very recently broken up with your boyfriend of four years. It still tore you up a little bit on the inside whenever you thought of it. But your commander couldn’t have known that. Or, at the very least, he couldn’t be interested in that sort of thing.

“So that means I’m your first.”

Your face nearly exploded at the innuendo, and you’re sure you look ridiculous because the next thing you know, your commander was killing himself with laughter that shook the bed. You slapped a hand to your face, muttering a “I can’t believe you”, and making your way to your duffel bag to fetch some clothes. Honestly, when this man is not trying to be a commander, he could be just so…normal.

“I’m going to take a shower,” you declared.

Your commander, who lounged against the pillows like he owned the entire bed, hands folded behind his head in a show of ease, nodded at you. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“I’m not,” you called. You didn’t want to imagine what would happen if he wanted to.

A combat shower and some fresh clothes later, you’re out the door again and back into the room.

“Your turn.”

Gabriel clicked off his holopad–he looked like he was reading some reports and communications, but you couldn’t really tell.

“Save any hot water for me?” he asked cheekily as he got up. You tried not to roll your eyes.

“Would I be in trouble if I didn’t?”

You had your back turned when you shoved your previous clothes into your bag so you couldn’t see him shrug or give you a look like he was thinking of something wicked. But you heard it in his tone.

“I think Morrison would piss himself laughing,” he said. “An agent forced to retire because of a lack of respect for the sacred art of military showers.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not the one who disrespects showers.”

“I didn’t!” Your defense was lost on him anyway when he shut the door on you, leaving you alone in the room again. You growled, annoyed that your boss had defeated you in a impromptu game of snark, but also extremely amused at his lax attitude.

You looked back at the little bed, which now seemed a lot bigger. Okay, perhaps there was more room than it initially seemed. Your anxiety about sharing a bed with your commander must’ve been giving you some sort of tunnel vision. Without further ado, you crawled into the bed, noting with some embarrassingly hyper-sensitive consciousness that your commander’s side of the bed was still alarmingly warm and somewhat dented from his weight.

It admittingly (in a creepy way) felt nice amidst the chillier air the night had to offer. You huddled beneath the blankets, ready to just go to sleep--it’s been a long day, and you’re sure you have an even longer morning ahead of you. You don’t even realize that you’ve dozed off lightly until you hear by your ear, “Going to sleep so soon, cariño?”

You grumbled and started swatting at the air, a small bit of grumpiness settling in from being woken up from the brief sleep you didn’t know you took.

“Yes, now let me sleep.” The blankets are warm now, and if you turned your face, the pillow was blissfully cool. This was awesome. And your commander chuckled in your ear, deep and smooth--you could fall asleep to that without issue, until a nagging thought hovered over your consciousness without the filter to prevent it from coming out.

“Commander.”

“Hm? What is it?”

You feel his weight sink the bed beside you as he slipped in, pulling open the blankets for himself--you hissed and tugged them around you tight. But that was quickly rectified when you could feel his body heat beside you, warming up the entire bed. This was nice, comfortable. There really was more room than you thought if you weren’t even touching him right now.

“You never told me ‘cariño’ means.”

“Would you like to find out?” His tone was suggestive, sly, and teasing--you were being made fun of.

“No,” you said firmly. You’re sure it didn’t mean anything good, and you didn’t want to have to find out and settled for a “Good night, commande--r.”

You couldn’t help yawning, and you could hear Gabriel chuckling again, this time, the sound seemed to reverberate through the bed, rocking it gently.

“Good night, agent.”

Sleep came easier to you than it ever did since your break-up with your boyfriend. Maybe it was the fact that your commander, one of the people you’ve learned to trust with your life, was beside you, or the warmth he emitted was just that comforting. It didn’t matter, what mattered was the sleep that claimed you--dreamless and restful.

When morning came, however, your mind came to wakefulness with the speed of molasses. Having slept alone in a bed for nearly a month that had held two bodies in it for over a year, you couldn’t help but press into the side of the body beside you, an arm draped over his middle. Still sleep-addled and trained by habit, you craned your neck up to give your bed-mate a kiss on the underside of his scruffy chin.

“Morning, love,” you mumbled, resting your head back onto a pectoral that felt a little more pronounced than you’re used to. It was comfortable, though.

The slow rumble of laughter that rolled through you sounded different, too.

“Good morning to you, too, cariño.”

You’ve never been awake so fast in your life. You jumped up and scrambled to get the hell away from the voice of your obvious not-boyfriend, not by a long shot, nearly kicking him in the face.

“C-command–I’m so sorry,” you stuttered, back to the wall and legs still frantically kicking against blankets as you tried to press yourself as far as you could from Gabriel, embarrassment and panic making your mouth race. “I-I was-I was asleep and you’re there, and I forgot, and I just thought that you were my ex, and–I mean, you’re nothing like him, you’re definitely, definitely nothing alike–and–oh shit, I’m just so, so–so, so, so sorry.”

“Thinking of another man while I’m in your bed,” he mused coyly, propping himself up and shooting you a sly grin that you’re sure was teasing. “Naughty.” You didn’t notice last night, but you could see now that he was wearing only a t-shirt and some boxers, and the light from the window shone behind him like a halo and you couldn’t help but stare at that face and think that this man, feared commander of the dark-side of the worldwide peace-keeping organization, looked like a damned angel.

A blaze of fire ignited your chest and face, and an anxious sort of energy made your fingers tremble, and your breath shallow. A whirlwind of emotions numbed your tongue and higher brain functions, body going into a frenzy–this was easily the most awkward thing you’ve ever woken up to.

If this got out, and you’re almost certain it will–you’re not sure how–Jesse was going to have a field day.

#ask #anon #gabriel reyes x reader #I'm really not very good at this trope #reader #my writing

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justbloodcamthings · 7 years ago

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In BloodCam: Hematoma it's mention they have boundaries that they aren't willing to cross. I'm curious about what kind of boundaries? I assume they have to do with Keith being ace but I'm not really familiar with asexuality. (Understand a little but not fully) I kinda wanna know Keith's limits and what he is comfortable with and how they set up these boundaries.

Great Questions! (I hope you’re ready for a long response!)

A lot of the ‘boundaries’ are based around Keith’s limits, and they’re also based around Lance’s comfort level in regards to those limits as well as his own.

(If you have specific questions about asexuality feel free to ask! I’m only going to describe where Keith stands on things here)When it comes to Keith and his asexuality - Keith is not sex repulsed, for the most part he’s indifferent when it comes to sexual things. He’s got a low sex drive/libido, and he doesn’t experience sexual attraction. On the base level, while situations that hint at sexual put him on edge and he’d rather not be in them, they don’t make him supremely uncomfortable to the point of needing to get out of there right now. He doesn’t find sex disgusting or terrifying, he just... doesn’t understand the need for it and it makes him uncomfortable. That’s not to say he hasn’t had a sexual experience that wasn’t ‘good’ or uh ‘enjoyable’, because he has and it sort of was (sort of because yeah he got off so that was nice but was it worth the fuss? Not really. He still doesn’t get it and he’d rather just not do it).

Unfortunately, due to several bad relationships he’s developed some flight-or-fight responses (as if he doesn’t have enough of those already) in regards to situations with the potential of getting sexual (hence his whole “shoving Lance away in the middle of making out in BloodCam). He’s got low-level worry flickering through his brain that ‘oh no this is the time that it becomes more what am I gonna do?” in those moments mainly because he’s been with a couple of disrespectful people who just plain treated him badly.

When it comes to Lance, Keith at this point is comfortable enough that for the most part intimate (and sensual) moments have stopped putting him on edge, especially during and directly after Lance’s show and during the knifeplay/bloodplay. This is wholly due to their combined efforts of testing out their boundaries and their comfort levels and learning not to push themselves or each other past them. (Communication! I’m actually writing a one shot that kind of deals with this in a sort of sideways way? Communication is key and respect is key and being clear with what you want and where you’re willing to go is key.)

It’s not entirely on Keith though, because Lance has certain boundaries in these cases as well. While they do lean heavily on Keith’s asexuality and how the situation is ‘read’, they’re also based on Lance’s comfort level in these situations as well. So, first off, Lance prefers not to get pushed past the ‘point of no return’ with Keith/around Keith/by Keith for the first part because he worries that a situation like that can make Keith uncomfortable (due to past experiences) and that in turn makes Lance uncomfortable (and like he’s letting Keith down BUT - again, a one shot is in the works). Lance prefers to avoid getting to that point so that they both stay with their comfort range and neither one freaks out, which is especially important directly after a show when Lance is particularly ‘vulnerable’. It’s happened before and despite Keith assuring Lance he was okay Lance still had a bit of an emotional ‘drop’ and got very sad about it.

And that’s another thing, Lance isn’t always okay with getting into an intimate moment directly after a show. I write a lot about them sharing some good cuddle and wound-groping time after (wow what a sentence) but that isn’t a given after every show. In Hematoma after the bagh naka show (which is where your question comes from) you can see that Keith holds back until Lance gives him the go ahead to touch him - some nights he doesn’t want it. Lance is extremely sensitive when it comes to getting aroused, especially after a heavy show and especially when pain is involved (masochism and all that) and he doesn’t always appreciate that, to be honest (not to angst but its been used against him in the past). There are times when he wants to get turned on and there are times when he doesn’t and what he really needs is someone who is willing to respect that he gets to change his mind considering these things. And when it comes to post show moments, to be completely honest Keith’s sadistic tendencies tend to really wake up and get his senses all fired up, and he can sometimes get really carried away if he’s not careful (some past partners might’ve told him before that he had a tendency to get ‘rough’). He has to temper that want to be rougher and especially temper the impulse to cause pain he knows that Lance will enjoy, because just because he wants to dish it out doesn’t mean Lance wants it right then. At this point they’ve got some pretty clear cut limits mainly because they’ve felt each other out and talked about it. I think that if Lance wasn’t doing his weekly shows and Keith wasn’t there to assist (and get all touchy) they wouldn’t have reached the point they’re at in regards to intimacy as soon as they had.

I hope that clarifies some of their boundaries for you? If you’d like any other questions answered or things clarified please feel free to reach out to me! And if you have any specific questions about asexuality feel free to ask, I can get you some resources. :) Thanks for stopping by!

#bloodcam fic #klance #masochism tw #ace keith #Anonymous

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