#but yea maybe ill do a couple more attacks before the end of the month

[gayandvibin]

Artfight attack 2 - @laamb-sauce ‘s character, Kace Cadwaladr

Loved his design so much! I feel like I need to look at how you put together outfits and colour palettes because 👀👀

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[pasiveagressive]

Found Again // H.S.

Warnings: Language, illness 

Requested: No 

Y/N POV

It was a normal Saturday and I was in the kitchen making something for Ryan to eat. Ryan was my 2 year old daughter. She was the light of my life, and even though her father and I weren't together anymore, I couldn't help but smile when she started to look like him. Maybe one day he'll meet her, but after the way we ended, and the way  he decides to live his life, I just don’t see it being anytime soon.

"Mommy." I heard from behind me, breaking me out of my thoughts. I turned around and Ryan was standing there.

"What is it baby?" I asked as start to take in what she looks like

"I'm tired." She said and I looked at her more closely.

"You just woke up an hour ago baby." I walked closer to her and she looked pale, really pale. "Do you feel alright baby?" I put my hand on her forehead.

"No." She said and she started to wobble. I got to her just in time and she fell over. I immediately picked her up, put her in the car and rushed her to the hospital. When we got there they took her back immediately and ran some tests.

After an hour of sitting, and pacing finally someone came to talk to me.

"What's going on? What’s wrong with my baby?" I asked, I was trying so hard to hold the tears in.

"Your daughter has what is called Crohn's disease and has developed acquired hemolytic anemia. We'll need to monitor her for a few days to get her on the right medication and make sure she is on the up again." The doctor goes on to explain the two diseases and how I could make changes at home to help with them. I couldn't handle it anymore and I just let the tears fall. When I walked over to her, she was asleep. I took her small hand in mine and placed my head on the bed. I couldn't believe that this happened but I would do anything to get her through it. 

Two Years Later

Ryan had collapsed again and I had to rush her to the hospital. When I got there they rushed her into surgery and I shrunk into the chair and let the tears flow. It had been an okay two years. She had her scares but overall everything was still relatively okay, but this time felt different, this time felt worse.

I don't know how long I was sitting there. Time seemed to stop once they rushed her behind those doors that I wasn't allowed to enter. I sat in that chair crying until I saw a nurse run up to me.

"Are you Y/N?" I nod. "Your daughter needs a blood transfusion, but she had a rare blood type,  can we check to see if you are a match?” I nod my head

“Yes anything.” They informed me that I was not a match and I groaned. Well Harry time to find out about your daughter

"Her father might be a match. I'll talk to him as soon as humanly possible and get back to you." I said. She nodded and rushed back through the doors. I sat back down on the chair and pulled my phone out and dialed Gemma's number. I knew she would talk to me before Harry did.

"Hello?"

"Gemma." I said and my voice cracked.

"Y/N? Is that you?"

"Yea, Gems, I really need your help." I said and I knew she could hear the strain in my voice.

"What's wrong Y/N?"

"Can we meet somewhere?"

"The bakery. 5 minutes." I agreed and hung up the phone and made my way to the bakery when I got there Gemma was already sitting down. I walked over to her and took a seat. "Y/N, are you alright?"

"Gemma, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"That night Harry and I got into that huge fight. Well, the reason I was there in the first place was because I had to tell him something. But he completely blew up at me, and left and so  I couldn’t tell him after that."

"Tell him what?"

"I was pregnant."

"No way."

"Yeah, and I was so excited to tell him, but when I told him we needed to talk he thought I was going to break up with him, so he broke up with me, and turned it into a full on fight and he stormed out."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"She's sick Gems. Really sick, and she needs a blood transfusion. Her blood type is rare and I'm not a match and I need to see if Harry is a match."

"Okay well I have a few questions, actually more than a few but we will start with, How old is she?"

"She'll be 5 in a month."

"What's she look like?"

"She looks exactly like Harry. She has the curly brown hair, bright green eyes, and she has his sass. She is the sweetest little girl."

"How long has she been sick?"

"She was diagnosed when she was 2. They were monitoring it for a while but last night she had an attack and I had to rush her to the ER. That's when they told me she needed the transfusion. I'm desperate Gem. I need him, but I figured you'd listen to me before he would."

"Oh Y/N, I'm so sorry. I'll talk to him. I'll trick him into coming.Whatever I have to do. Meet me in two hours." I nod and we go our separate ways, and I was dreading seeing Harry again.

Gemma POV:

"Gemma, I have plans. I don't want to be here." Harry said and I rolled my eyes.

"What are your plans? Sleeping with a ton of girls because you threw the only girl you ever loved out on her ass 5 years ago?"

"Don't start with that Gemma. You don't know what happened."

"Yes I do, and you're about to find out how wrong you were that night." I said and he was about to respond when we got to Y/N. She stood up and turned to face us, and I tightened my grip on Harry so he didn't try to leave.

"What the hell is this Gemma?"

"You two need to talk."

"We did talk. Five years ago when we broke up."

"No." Y/N finally said. "You yelled, called me names, and then broke up with me."

"You were going to break up with me. You were being so shady for weeks, and I knew that you were sneaking around with Jake."

"I wasn't cheating on you. I was completely in love with you." Y/N nearly whispers and shocks Harry. "Look, I wouldn't have asked Gemma to have you meet me here if I wasn't desperate."

"Desperate for what?" He asked.

"The night we broke up, I was coming to tell you something."

"Okay..?"

"I was pregnant." Y/N says and Harry gasps.

"Why wouldn't you stop me from yelling?" she scoffs

"You never gave me the chance. You called me a slut, and a whore. You asked me how long I was hooking up behind your back with Jake, who by the way, I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole."

"We have a kid?"

"Yes, we have a daughter, and she's sick."

"Sick? Like a cold or-"

"She has Crohn's disease which has given her hemolytic anemia. She was diagnosed when she was 2, and I had to rush her to the hospital last night. She needs a blood transfusion but she has a rare blood type. I'm not a match. I need to know if you are. Please Harry, she could die without it." I looked between Harry and Y/N and it might have been the saddest sight I've ever seen.

"Um okay, oh my god. Where is she?"

"She's at the hospital."

"Let's go." Harry said and Y/N nodded. They both started walking away and Y/N  turned around and mouthed 'thank you' and I smiled and nodded. I hope everything works out, because I can't even imagine what would happen if she didn't pull through.

Y/N POV:

When we got to the hospital I walked over to the nurses station to see what could be done with Harry and getting his blood tested.

"Excuse me, I'm Y/N Y/L/N and my daughter Ryan was brought in last night. She’s in room 304"

"What can I do for you dear?" The sweet nurse asked.

"This is her father, and the doctor said he could be tested to see if his blood type matches Ryan's."

"Very well. If you'll follow me sir, I'll set you up." Harry nodded then looked at me.

"I'll be in her room.” I pause “If you want to come and meet her when you're done you are welcome to just stop on by." He nodded then followed the nurse down the hallways. I turned around and walked towards Ryan's room. When I got there she was laying in bed, she scooted over and I took my place beside her. "How are you feeling baby?"

"Tired. What's wrong with me?"

"You need what's called a  blood transfusion. Do you know what that is?" I ask and she shakes her head. "You need new blood, but your blood type is rare so it's hard to find someone who can share their blood with you."

"Why can't you do it mommy?"

"We don't share blood, baby."

"What about my daddy?"

"He's here getting tested now."

"Can I meet him?"

"I told him what room you're in, it's up to him if he wants to stop by after he's done getting his blood taken." She nods and picks up a book.

"Can you read this to me mommy?" She hands me A Tail of Two Cities.

"Of course baby."

Harry POV:

I went to get my blood tested and while the woman was getting everything ready she started talking.

"You have a beautiful little girl."

"What's she look like?"

"You've really never met her?" I shake my head. "Why not?"

"I made an assumption years ago, and broke up with Y/N. I really hurt her, and she never told me. Or I guess I never gave her the chance to." She simply nods.

"She has beautiful brown curls, the most unique green eyes, and she's just the sweetest little girl. The nurses around here love her. She's always giggling, and cracking jokes. Always has a witty comeback."

"Sounds like Y/N raised her well."

"She's been so strong the last couple years. I've only seen her cry twice. The day she was diagnosed and last night. Alright sweetie, all done. I'll put a rush on it, and the results should be here within the hour." I thank her and get up and make my way to Ryan's room. When I get to the room I can hear Y/N reading A Tail of Two Cities, it was one of our favorites to read together when we were together. I take a deep breath and I knock on the door, they both look up to me.

"How'd it go?"

"The nurse said she was going to rush it. Should have the results within the hour." I say and look past her at my daughter. "Mind if I sit?" She shakes her head and I sit in the chair next to the bed.

"Are you my daddy?" Ryan asks and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I am. What's your name?"

"I'm Ryan! Ryan Anne  Styles." She says with a smile and my eyes snap to Y/N.

"I know what you're thinking. Why didn't I give her Y/L/N? Well, I wanted her to know who you were. I was waiting until she was older to explain." I nod and everything gets quiet for a minute until Y/N speaks.

"I'm going to go get coffee from the cafeteria. Do you want anything?"

"Coffee would be great."

"Two creams, three sugars still?" She asks and I nod. "What about you baby?"

"Ice cream!" She shouts and Y/N and I both laugh.

"How about jello baby?"

"Okay, but can I have the red jello? I'm sick of the green."

"I'll try my best baby." She gives Ryan a kiss and then smiles at me before she leaves.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired, but I've been tired for as long as I can remember. It's a symptom of my disease. I mean, I love sleep, but I'm tired of it!" She says as she laughs at her own play on words. God she's cute. "What took you so long to meet me?"

"I made a big mistake before you were born. Your mommy and I got into a big fight, and I said some bad things to her."

"Did you want me?"

"I didn't know about you until this afternoon."

"What about now?"

"Of course I want you. I want to know everything about you."

"Will you stay?"

"If your mommy allows me to stay, I would love too."

"She will."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I catch her remembering you, listening to your music and looking at pictures of you. She misses you. She never told me, but sometimes she would be sad, and I knew it was because she missed you." She said and I just nodded. God, I'm an idiot. "Plus, who could say no to this face?" She smiled and I laughed. Totally my daughter.

Y/N POV:

I got the coffee and the jello and I was making my way back to the room and I heard Harry and Ryan talking. I heard her telling Harry about me missing him, and although she's not wrong, I didn't realize that she caught onto it. I walk in the room and they stop talking. I handed Harry his coffee, and took my seat on the bed while handing Ryan her jello.

"Mommy?" Ryan says.

"Yes baby?"

"When I get out of here, can we spend more time with daddy?" She says and I look at Harry and I could just see the overwhelming joy in his eyes when she called him that.

"That's up to him baby." I said and she looked at him.

"Do you want to spend more time with us daddy?"

"I would love Ryan, if that's okay with your mom." He looked at me and I just couldn't say no.

"Of course it is. I told you Harry I always wanted you to be in her life." He was about to say something else when the doctor walked in.

"Hey Y/N, and I'm assuming you're the father?"

"Yes."

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Car, and I've been taking care of your daughter since she was diagnosed. Mind if I speak to the two of you in the hallway." We nod.

"We'll be right back baby." I kissed her head and walked out into the hallway.

"Well I have amazing news. Turns out you were a match for Ryan."

"Are you serious?" I say because I couldn't even believe it.

"Very." He said and I was just so excited that I threw my arms around Harry and he picked me up and hugged me back. Even hugging him I could feel the chemistry we had all those years ago. When we broke apart I looked back at the doctor.

"What's the next step?"

"We set him up and start taking blood."

"When?"

"Whenever he has the time."

"I'm free now." Harry says immediately and I can't help but smile.

"Well, if you'll follow me."

"Can I say goodbye to Ryan first?"

"Of course." He said and we went back into the room where Ryan was looking through a children's book.

"Hey baby, daddy has to go away for an hour or so."

"Are you coming back?" She asks and I can see the fear in her eyes.

"Of course I am. I'm just going to get some of my blood taken so I can help you."

"Cool!" She perks up and says and we both laugh. Harry walks over and sits down on the bed and grabs her little hands.

"I promise, I'm not disappearing again. I'll be here for you."

"I know I just met you, but is it okay if I love you?" Ryan asks and my heart nearly broke. She sounded so unsure if she was allowed to love her father and it hurt.

"Absolutely. You know why?" She shakes her head. "Because I already love you." Harry said and there went my heart.

"I love you daddy." She said and gave him a big hug.

"I love you too baby girl." He gets up and we walk to the door.

"Can we talk later?" He asks me.

"Yea." He pulls me in and plants a kiss on my forehead and I couldn't even believe much I've missed it. He walks out and I take a deep breath and walk back over to Ryan.

Harry POV:

I finished getting my blood drawn and I felt slightly lightheaded. They told me to wait at least an hour before going anywhere. I walked back to Ryan's room and when I walked in Ryan was asleep and Y/N was stroking her hair. I walked over and sat back down in the chair.

"How'd it go?"

"It was good. I'm slightly lightheaded but I was expecting that."

"Thank you for doing this Harry."

"Of course. She's my daughter too."

"I know, and I'm sorry I never told you."

"No Y/N, I'm sorry. I was a complete ass to you that night. I was pissed because you were hiding something from me, and instead of letting you explain I exploded. If I'd have known, God Y/N, I wouldn't have let you walk out that door."

"I want you to be involved in her life. I'm gonna need you Harry. And so is she."

"I'm not leaving again. And I'm not letting you leave either."

"I never left."

"What do you mean?"

"I live in the city Harry. I never left."

"How come we never crossed paths again?"

"I avoided all the places you liked to go. All the places we went. And you being on tour helped. I tried my best to stay away from you because you really hurt me that night."

"I know, and if I could take it back I would. I still love you and care about you Y/N."

"So do I, but for right now, I think we should just focus on Ryan. She has to be your priority. This is going to be hard."

"I will be there for whatever you need. How long will she be in here?"

"Once,  she gets the blood transfusion, then about two days for monitoring and she can come home."

"Can I stay?"

"Don't you have work?"

"I'm writing right now. I can take as much time as I want off." it's quiet for a minute. "Did you date after we broke up?" He asks and I just laugh.

"Nobody wanted to date me Harry. I was pregnant, and then when I wasn’t my focus was on me, and her."

"I just wanted to make sure. Not that I have a right to pry into your life."

“No you don’t, but I am a forgiving person I have been told.”

Ryan started to stir awake and when I looked down at her I couldn't help but smile.

"Mommy, is daddy still here?"

"I'm still here baby girl." Harry said as he sat at the bottom of the bed for Ryan to see.

"You stayed."

"I told you I would. I'm not leaving you ever again."

"Does that mean you're going to stay with me and mommy?" She asked and Harry looked at me.

"I don't know about that baby. Your daddy has a life apart from us."

"Do you not want to stay with us?" Ryan asks and I  don't know what to tell her.

"Of course I want to stay with you. But your mommy and I have some things we need to work through."

"What kind of things?"

"Grown up  things baby. But I can promise that you'll be seeing your daddy as much as you want from now on."

"You mean it?"

"Absolutely." I give her a kiss and she smiles at Harry. I knew she needed Harry, and seeing them together now, I couldn't possibly keep them apart.

Two Days Later

Y/N POV:

Ryan got the blood transfusion, spent a day in the hospital and now we're on our way home.

"Mommy, where is daddy?"

"He had to work today baby. But he promised to come over for dinner."

"Why can't he stay with us mommy?"

"Because mommy and daddy have not seen each other in a longtime, and the last time we did see each other we had a big fight. It's going to take us some time to get used to being around each other again."

"Do you think we'll ever be a family?"

"We are a family, silly." I smile at her

“Mommy you know what I mean.” she whines

“I don’t know baby.”

"I wish we could be a family."

"I know you do baby. I'm not saying that isn't ever going to happen, but for right now, you are our priority."

"Does he make you happy?" She asked and I was taken aback.

"Uh. Yes, he did, and probably still does, but it’s been a long time Ry"

"So why would you put that off?"

"When did you get so wise?" I ask and she laughs.

"I've always been wise." She says and I smile. We get home and Ryan makes her way over to the couch and she turns on the TV. I started getting dinner ready, and before I knew it, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it!" Ryan says and I hear the door open. "DADDY!" I hear her scream.

"Hey princess. Where is your mom?" Harry asks.

"She's in the kitchen." Ryan says and I turn around and Harry is standing there, looking hotter than ever with flowers in his hands.

"What's all this?" I ask as he makes his way over to me.

"I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for how awful I was to you 5 years ago, and this is how I plan on starting. I don't care if we aren't together yet, but I will lavish you flowers every single time I come over."

"Harry-" I start to say but he cuts me off.

"I mean it Y/N. I love you. I have loved you since I was 17 years old. I was an asshole to you, I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me, and  I missed out on five years of our daughter's life. I want us to be a family. I always wanted that with you, and now that I have some of that, I won't stop until it actually happens." I'm speechless. I. I mean, of course I loved Harry. I've loved him since I was 16, and I never stopped. And having Ryan with him just made me love him so much more.

"Harry, I never stopped loving you either. How could I when I was reminded of you every single day when I looked at Ryan? I just, Harry you really hurt me." I tried not to let the tears spill out of my eyes but it was harder than I thought. I tried to block that night out of my memory because of how much it hurt.

"I know I did Y/N, and I regret every single thing I said that night." He took a step closer and took my hands in his. "I want to be here for you Y/N. I want to be here for Ryan, and I just can't do that from my house. I can't be there for you guys in the way I want to be."

"Harry." I started again but he cut me off again.

"Listen to me Y/N, we don't have to be in a relationship, right away anyway, because have no doubt that is my goal, but I want you and Ryan  to come live with me. I have enough space. You can each have your own room. It's closer to the hospital in case anything happens, and it's near the studio so I could get home if you needed me." I stood there thinking over all of the things he just said. He was really going to make it up to me, and he wanted Ryan and I to be with him in case anything went wrong, and when the man of your dreams cares that much for your child, it just makes everything seem worth it. I take a deep breath and look into his eyes.

"I see your points, and I can agree with them." He picks me up and spins me around. When he puts me down I step back and look into his eyes. "But Harry, it’s not going to be easy, it's going to take your effort. With me and Ryan" I said and he smirked.

"I got you once, and I promise you, I will do everything in my power to get you again." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Ryan! Can you come here for a minute." I say and she walks into the kitchen.

"Yes mommy?" She asks and Harry picks her up.

"How would you like to move in with daddy?" I ask and her eyes light up.

"Are you coming too?"

"Yes I am, baby." Her face lights up even more and she puts an arm around my neck and pulls me into a hug. I crashed into Harry and his arm went around my waist, and I couldn't believe that we were all together, and although Harry and I still had a few things to work out, this felt right.

Six Months Later

Y/N POV:

The last six months have been absolutely amazing. Ryan was doing amazing, and Harry wasn't kidding when he said he was pulling out all the stops to try and win me back. He would take me out to these expensive places for dinner, bring me flowers every Friday, and he never worked on weekends so we could have family days. It was a bit difficult trying to stay away from the paps, but  we would go to the zoo, or the aquarium, or the park. He truly was making up for what he did, and what he missed, and I just couldn't be happier. Harry wanted to have a father daughter day so I was meeting up with Gemma. I wanted her advice on what to do about Harry. I really wanted to be with him, but I was scared. I walked into the bakery and Gemma was waiting for me.

"Hey Gem."

"Hey Y/N, what's up?"

"I asked you here because I need your help." She nodded and I took a deep breath. "These last six months have been amazing. Harry has really stepped up with Ryan, and he's been nothing but wonderful to me, but I don't know if I should give him a second chance."

"Why not?"

"I'm scared he's going to hurt me again."

"I can promise you Y/N, he wouldn't do that."

"That's what I thought the first time."

"As much of a jackass Harry was 5 years ago, he's changed. I've never seen him so happy. He smiles more, he's nicer, he doesn't take things so seriously. Trust me, the guy he was 5 years ago, hell the guy he was 2 years ago is gone. He's fully committed to you and Ryan and that's something you should never doubt." I nod. "Do you love him Y/N?"

"Of course I do."

"Then just take a chance. Be with him, take a risk, and it might end up being the most amazing thing you ever do."

"I just really want this to work. It's always been Harry for me. I always knew I wanted to be with him forever, but when we broke up, I was heartbroken."

"I know you were Y/N. He was too. He was broken. I thought he'd never get his head out of his ass. How is it living together?"

"Amazing. He's always home by dinner time. He plays with Ryan, I've even seen him participating in a tea party, he reads to her before bedtime, and he always tucks her in. No matter what."

"And how is it for you?"

"Just as amazing. He brings me flowers every Friday. He gives me a kiss every morning before he leaves, and every night before he goes to sleep. He doesn't let a day go by without telling me he loves me. He couldn't be any more perfect."

"Listen to what you just said, you're happy Y/N. Incredibly happy. Ryan is doing amazing, and she's finally got a family. Just jump in headfirst. Marry my brother, have more kids, live your life together, because you two belong together."

"You're right Gemma. Why am I putting off the inevitable? I knew I was going to marry him when we were in high school."

"That a girl. Now go home and get your man." I laugh and we stand up and hug and I make my way home with a new found confidence. I don't know what I was so scared of, but talking it out with Gemma, I can't believe I waited this long for something I've wanted for years. When I walked into the house I could hear giggles. When I round the corner I'm shocked by what I see. Harry is dressed in one of his performance suits, Ryan is wearing her favorite dress, and there is a candle lit dinner.

"What's going on here?" I ask as I make my way over to them. Harry pulls out my chair and I take a seat. Ryan  has the biggest smile on her face, and Harry looks nervous. "Seriously, did something happen today that I should know about?" Harry shakes his head, stands up and then drops to one knee and my hands fly over my mouth.

"Y/N Y/L/N, I have been in love with you since I was 17 years old, and I knew back then that you were the one I was going to spend forever with. The night we broke up was the worst night of my life. After a year of not seeing you around, I thought I had lost you forever. I was an idiot, and I let you go, and I'm never making that mistake again. I know you said it was going to take a lot, but I'm taking this risk Y/N because I want you to be in my bed every single night, falling asleep next to me, and I want to be able to brag to all of my friends about my amazing wife, and I want our daughter to finally have the family she's been dreaming about. I love you more than I ever thought was possible. I promise to keep making it up to you, I am nowhere near done apologizing, but I want you forever Y/N. Will you marry me?" I look at Harry and then I look at Ryan who is bursting at the seams, and I just can't believe this is happening. I look down at the ring and back up to Harry.

"Harry." I say and reach down and place my hand on his cheek. "It would be an honor to marry you." I said and the biggest smile appeared on his face. He took the ring out of the box, slid it on my finger and picked me up and slammed his lips to mine. I could hear Ryan cheering in the background. When we broke apart I looked into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too Y/N. So much." He kissed me one more time before Ryan ran into our legs. Harry picked her up and we pulled her into our family hug. Everything I had been scared about was completely out the window, because I knew this was going to work, and I couldn't be more excited.

Three Months Later

Harry POV:

The past three months Y/N has been in serious wedding mode. There were wedding magazines all over the house, she had been to almost 12 different bridal stores looking for a dress, and Gemma had been over almost every single night getting all the details in order. I don't know how she's doing it, I spend 5 minutes with Gemma talking about the wedding, and I get a headache. It was a Tuesday and I was in a meeting with some producers and when I got out I went straight to my studio to talk to Louis.

"Hey man, what’s up?" Louis said

" I was wondering if you'd like to be my best man?"

"I would love to man. Means a lot."

"I couldn't picture anyone better." I clapped him on the back, and I was about to say something else when I looked out my window and saw Y/N and Ryan walking towards me. I walked out shocked. "What are you doing here?" I ask as I pull her into a kiss.

"I need your opinion on some wedding details and Ryan and I were already out and decided to stop by." I couldn't help but smile. I kneel down and give Ryan a kiss.

"What's up?"

"Color scheme."

"Oh god. Okay what are you thinking?"

"You're going to laugh when I tell you."

"No I won't."

"Okay, I was thinking of black and gold." I couldn't help but smirk.

"And why those colors?"

"You look insanely hot in black, and it might have something to do with my favorite song being Golden. She laughs 

"I think black and gold is a perfect choice." She laughs again, and I couldn't help but smile at how happy she looked.

"Alright baby, we should go and let daddy get back to work." Ryan pouted. "Oh no, not the pouty face, you know he can't resist that look Ryan." Y/N said and she was right, I couldn't resist it.

"I wanna stay with daddy, I missed him today." Ryan says 

"He'll be home for dinner baby." Y/N said and Ryan looked at me.

"You promise?" She asked.

"Have I ever let you down before baby?" I asked her and she shook her head. "Exactly. I'll be home for dinner. I promise." She smiled and gave me a big kiss before I put her back down. I gave Y/N one more kiss before she grabbed Ryan's hand.

"We'll see you at home." She said. "I love you."

"I love you too." I said and gave her one more kiss.

"I love you too daddy." Ryan said.

"And I love you." She giggled and Y/N and she started walking away before Ryan turned back around.

"Don't forget about our tea party later daddy!" She shouted across the studio and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world Ryan." She giggled and waved, and I waved back before they got into the elevator and left. I looked around the studio and everyone was staring. "Get back to work people!" I said and they all laughed and went back to their work. I walked back, sat down and couldn't get the smile off my face. My life was perfect, and I had Y/N and Ryan to thank for that. As much as it sucks that Ryan is sick, without that sickness I would have never known about her, and I don't know what I would have done without her. Y/N and her are my world, and I couldn't wait to become a family.

[oh-sweet-mama]

Lonely (VI)

T.W - talk of self harm, talk of suicide

3 weeks later 7 days until the full moon Remus

The feeling of my shoulder blades cutting into my ribs, just added to the feeling of the dulcet ache that seemed to consume me.

3 weeks. 3 fucking weeks. Y/n can't stand to be in the same room as me. Let alone my D.A.D.A partner, but she somehow tolerates it.

Fully cooperating with the work we have to do, like a royal servant. Matching purple under eye bags adorned both of our faces, but somehow made her more eternal.

Over the weeks she had slowly stopped coming to the meals at the great hall, and the effects were starting to show. Her cheek bones were becoming more prominent on her face, and her usually rosy color, long faded away.

The usual radiant y/c/e's faded away to leave a monotone grey. She seemed so fragile, like a Porcelain doll, if only I had treated her that way.

So fuckin' stupid Remus.

A note hit my forehead and landed in front of me.

Keep staring at her like that she'll end up with two holes In the side of her head.

S.B

Recognizing the messy handwriting, before even finishing the note, I immediately knew who it was.

The feeling of tears pricked the sides of the eyes, but I ran out of tears to cry long ago. Instead the feeling of a dulcet ache in the chest replaced the physical show of emotions.

6 days until the full moon Y/n

My shitty diet consisted of Tea, cigarettes, and what ever my friends brought me back to the dorm. Of course I tell them that I'm not their responsibility, but they still bring me the occasional muffin or biscuit.

James brought me entire meals, of which I could barely consume the entire thing.

You have to do it you have to tell him.

No. No I couldn't. I can't risk losing someone else. He would hate me if I ever told him. Send me to the ministry, report me to Dumbledore, hell I'd get kicked out of Hogwarts.

I still maintain physical hygiene and grades. The two most important things. Can't smell and can't fail.

The ache in my chest was never there, maybe it had to do with the fact that I'm always high enough to fend it off.

First tip, the best way to get over someone, get all the emotions out, get numb, act like it never happened.

Easy, right? No. You can't just act like it never happened, he was all I had, all I'll ever have.

I just wasn't good enough.

I stopped going to parties, instead focused on my studies. One of the best in my class.

'Y/n what's your secret?'

'I don't know, uh drugs? Heartbreak? Both?'

5 days until the full moon Remus

The increasing uncomfortable pressure on my joints was almost enough to distract me from her. Almost.

I just want to run up to her and tell her everything, drag Sirius, and make him confess too. Maybe we'll all be happy together.

The imagine of the three of us happy together and in love. Clouded my head. I thought about it so much it was almost tangible.

Her daily routine trips to Madam Pompfrey had me assuming the worse. I had my fare share of bandaging up Sirius' forearms and upper thighs.

I tried to think, her period maybe? No, she's had hers for years, she would just excuse herself to the toilet.

My mind just defaulted into the worse case possible.

Suicide?

My heart thumped in an uneven painful rhythm. Swallowing a lump in my throat I hadn't even known formed I continued to attempt to let my teacher teach me the material of today's lesson.

Please be ok y/n, please, I love you to much to lose you, even though I've already have

4 days until the full moon

Tell him, tell him, he'll help you. The pain is too much, please it hurts.

I took a deep breath calming the clamoring thoughts in my head. A very dangerous place to be at this time of the month.

James was sitting next to me on my bed, the way he usually does, reading something. I noticed the title of his cover.

Lycanthropy: Everything you need to know and why their still human

"Didn't know we were learning about Lycan's in D.A.D.A." I murmured, focusing back on my own book.

"We're not, personal purpose." James answered back.

"What's your opinion on them?" I asked getting more nervous for James' answer.

Tell him, tell him, he'll help you. James loves you, he'll help you.

"There people, humans, witch or wizard, just with a condition. Doesn't make them dangerous, just misunderstood." James answered, "why do you ask?"

My eyes went wide, my pulse sky rocketing, the sudden awareness of the blood rushing through my veins.

"N-no reason." I desperately hid behind the small potions handbook from the library.

"Y/n/n?"

"Hmm? Very interesting potion here yes-"

"Wolves bane potion? How ironic, oh and your little wolves bane garden?"

My face paled, all of the blood rushing from my head into my toes.

Oh why can't I just sink to the bed and disappear?

"Very lovely flowers yes?"

"Do you, have, anything you want to tell me?" James asked causally not looking away from his book.

Oh what the hell.

"Fine! Fine!" I got up from the bed, tossing my book in the process, "I'm a werewolf!"

James froze in his spot. Before slowly lower his book so his eyes could peek above.

"What?"

"I contracted Lycanthropy ok?"

"Y/n sit down, and tell me everything, ok?" A sweet tone, of compassion and understanding, allowed me to sit and tell him everything.

3 days until the full moon

Remus

Nearing the summed of the month, a deep pit of anxiety took place, along with the increasing pain across my body. Sleep easily overcome me at any point possible, but restlessness at any other time.

Dozens of old scars, reminded me of the painful transformation. I pondered the lonely pain, that radiated through my diaphragm. Even being with one of the loves of my life, the immense feeling of being alone, was over clouding my mind.

Though James had been acting different, skittish, more than usual. He was usually found escorting Y/n.  

Again in D.A.D.A, We were granted a study hall period, in the Great hall. Books open, parchments being scratched on, quills moving from their ink pots, and light chatter amongst the tables. The table segment of which I sat was mostly empty, Sirius lightly leaning on my left side. A soft voice came by and stopped right in front of me.

Glancing up for a moment, my eyes glued to the figure in front of me. Y/n. oh shit oh shit, keep it cool Remus, don't scare her away now. Though a few seconds later James adorned her side, as usual.

2 days until the full moon Y/n

The secret was out, at least a little, an invisible weight was lifted off of my chest. Granting less anxiety about the first shift of the school year.

Actively avoiding the conversation, about where I go, or how it happened, I seemed to feel free. I guess I hadn't seemed to notice the weight of the secret I had been keeping.

It had become second nature, to harbor such a deadly illness, no harm shall come to them. I promised myself. Even if it meant lying to them.

It's better to not have them know, than having them risk their lives for something I can handle.

1 day until the full moon Remus

Y/n seemed to be getting healthier with the promotion and consolation of James. Every one needs someone to lean on.

I just wish I had been me. Maybe if I had told her, told her about my illness that seemed to consume me at times. Hell, my best friends and boyfriend knew about me long before we even started dating.

Yet 2 years had gone by and I couldn't bring myself to tell her, I was afraid of losing her. But I still did.

The day of the full moon 3rd person

"Y/n, please come with me, trust me please!" James begged to the girl, that refused any type of help. "You've already taken the wolves bane potion, and you can't hurt me. You know why? Because Lycans don't attack Animagus'"

"You're an Animagus?" Y/n whispered, just above her breath.

"Yes. Now please." James held his hand out to her, in a silent last offer of help. Y/n laced her fingers with James' and he sped off with her close in tow.

James pulled a seemingly blank piece of paper from His hoodie pocket, and let go of her hand.

"James, what are you doing?" Y/n asked in a hush tone.

A wild grin played out on James' face, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The Incantation, followed through the tip of James' wand and caused ink to spread around the parchment. Names moved across through what looked like halls.

"What is that?"

"Marauders map, shows what every one is doing, every minute of everyday, see, there Dumbledore, in his office. I was just making sure the rest of the marauders were on their way and was no one coming."

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs?"

"Yea you'll see, come on now." James snatched Y/n's wrist and ran, taking her out of the castle and towards the shrieking shack.

"James the willow! Be careful!"

He continued to tug the girl behind him.

"James!"

"Hurry, there almost there." Reaching the edge of the field where the whomping willow resided, James stuffed the map back into his pocket.

"James? What the hell, where were you?" The rest of the marauders came out from behind a group of trees, "and what the fuck is she doing here?" Sirius snapped

"Can I tell them, Y/n?" James asked.

"I will," y/n replied in a hushed tone.

"Tell us what! You're dating?" Sirius scoffed.

"No, I-I'm a werewolf, a Lycan, a lycanthrope, whatever you want to call it! James said you could help me, last time I went to my usual spot, I fractured both of my legs and laid in the middle of the forbidden forest for 3 days"

Sirius paled out, and looked back to Remus.

"If you want me to go, tell me now, I've taken the Wolves bane potion, it's only a couple hours hike into the forbidden forest."

Remus felt his heart drop, then a deep ache. How long? I guess she also had no right to tell me, just as I never told her.

"No, Y/n stay, let's go inside." Remus said, sincerity laced into his voice. Her face softened.

"Where?" She asked.

Remus pointed to the willow. Her face paled.

James headed over to Peter to discuss who would stay outside in case anything went south. Sirius looked to Remus.

Remus took a few hesitant steps toward her. Before reaching his hand out offering her safe passage. Instead she swooped in gently under his arm.

Remus' heart swelled, maybe she does still love me after all.

1888 words

Ahhhahahahhah

It's finally coming together baiwbsiaiensl

-Kal

[you-a-southpaw-doll]

Deaf ~ A Max (The Resident) One-Shot

Summary: Max gets a new tenant...and maybe a new family? With all the silence, will Leigh be able to draw Max outta the walls and into her life? 

Warning(s): Angst. Happy ending. Single mother OFC. Mentions of cheating. Bisexual OFC. Hearing issues. Deaf infant. Implied PTSD. Implied childhood trauma. Panic attack. Self-harm. First aid. Non-canon. OOC Max. Slight voyeuristic tendencies. OFC’s P.O.V. Soft Max. Hurt Max. Scared Max. Touch-starved Max. Max just needs some love.

Author’s Note(s): So, I watched The Resident (2011) a couple nights ago, and got this idea. I don’t do rape, so I changed Max’s character so he never goes that far. I also decided to do this from the OFC’s P.O.V. and show a different side of Max, one that would hopefully, kinda sorta, explain why Max seeks the refuge the walls give him. For people that suffer from PTSD, and other mental illnesses, everyone finds their own way of coping with their struggles. I’m not in any way condoning what Canon Max did. I just wanted to try and a different, less creepy, softer side. Also, in this story, Max is not a rapist, nor is he a murderer. And...I wanted a happy ending for Max, so that’s what I gave him.

Word Count: 7,982 words.

Relationship(s): Max x Leigh Sullivan (OFC) [romantic]. 

Characters: Max. Leigh Sullivan (OFC). Maxwell Dean Sullivan (OMC). Chris Sullivan (OMC). 

Taglist: @negans-network @prettyboynegan @mychemicalimagines @spnnnxangelsx @rockinkel21 @misskittycat02 @band--psycho @ofxallxwexlost @iron-halt @thamberlinawrites @ravenwings73 @lettherebepink @stoneyggirl @sebs-padawan

_______________________________________________________________________

Story Time:

Leigh’s P.O.V. ~

It’s been two weeks since I moved to New York City to start my new job at the museum and try to get on with one of the numerous publishing houses for my next books. Two weeks of sleeping in a cheap hotel room. Two nights of frantically searching for a somewhat cheap apartment that would be big ‘nough.

Two weeks of missing having his little body snuggled up next to me. Two weeks worth of triple FaceTime calls to my brother back in San Deigo just to see his cute little face. Two weeks of missing my baby boy. Two weeks of missing my adopted, six-month-old son, Maxwell. Two weeks of being completely alone in a new place for the first time in years.

It’s been two days since I saw that flyer pinned up on the hospital bulletin board after passing out from dehydration. Two days since I went to that old building that’s close to the huge bridge stretching out over the river. Two days since I saw the fancy apartment still being renovated that was clearly well outta my price range.

Two days since I met him and saw that beautiful dimpled smile hiding under the construction mask. Two days since I felt my heart flutter for the time in nearly half a year. Two days since that deep, slower than molasses but sweeter than honey voice told me it was mine for only $3,800 a month, minus utilities. 

It’s been two hours since he, my new landlord left my apartment after sitting down to enjoy a dinner of takeout from the nearby Chinese restaurant once we’d finished moving my meager belongings in. Two hours since he and I opened up a little bit to each other, getting to know the other person. 

It’s been two hours and I still haven’t stopped smiling. 

Leaning back in my chair, I slide my iPhone outta the pocket of my men’s holey, Skinny Flex American Eagle dark blue jeans. Holding my thumb down on the button so it recognizes my thumbprint, I wait for it to unlock before I click on the FaceTime app and call my brother. I take a deep breath, relaxing, as I wait for him to answer. 

Only...he doesn’t. Instead of my slightly younger brother answering, I get the best thing that’s ever happened in my life. The moment I see my son’s face fill the screen, I tear up and smile. 

“Hey, baby boy! You playing with Uncle Chris’s phone?” I coo in a soft voice.

I don’t get an actual response, but that’s ok. My son Max is deaf. He was born that way and the doctors said it’d be a few more months before we could even try to get him fitted for hearing aids. The said it was a side effect from where his birth mother had been using hard drugs for 99% of the pregnancy, even though I tried to get her help.

Max makes a bunch of soft, cooing noises as he holds the phone close. I realize that he hasn’t noticed that I’m the phone yet. Especially once I see his gums get closer to the camera. I laugh, knowing he’s trying to gnaw on the rounded corner of my brother’s iPhone. Hearing movement on the other end, I watch as the phone jostles, and a loud thunk echos to my end. 

A moment later, two small, chubby hands grasp the phone and my son’s face fills the screen once more. I watch as his eyes widen and he lets out a high pitch squeal, giggling, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Max has finally noticed that I’m on the phone. Smiling, I wave to him and blow him kisses.

It just makes him squeal more, louder, and happier. I giggle and happily listens to his giggles, squeals, and babbles. After nearly 15 minutes of listening to him, and slouching in my chair, the phone jostles once more and I hear Max let out a whine and hear him sniffling, knowing his ‘bout to start crying. 

A second later, my brother’s face fills my phone’s screen and his eyes widen too, making him chuckle.

“Hey, sis. Sorry. Didn’t realize you were on the phone. I guess Max got ahold of mine when I went to fix him a bottle and a small jar of that mushy baby food you picked up for him before you left.” He says.

I smile. “Nah. Max didn’t call me. I called. He answered. Took him a hot minute to realize I was on the phone. Then he started telling me ‘bout the stuff y’all did today. Sounds like a productive day.”

Chris laughs and I watch as he gets settled on the couch in his apartment, holding my son in his lap, keeping him to where he can still see me on the phone.

“Oh yeah.” He chuckles. “Real productive. 3 naps, 6 poopy diapers, and a few bottles.” 

I giggle. “Sounds like it.”

He chuckles more and shakes his head. “Anyway. How’s the city? D’you switch motel rooms? That don’t look like the one you’ve been staying in.”

I grin from ear to ear. “That’s actually why I called you. I found a place. By the river and train tracks.”

“Yea? That’s great! You all moved in?”

“For the most part. All that’s missing is little man. Oh. And the actual furniture. I was thinking...think you and Max could be out here tomorrow?”

“Uh...yea. I still got 3 more weeks’ worth of vacation time saved up at work. Give me a sec to pull up flights and shit.”

I smile and nod, waiting as Chris sets his phone down. After listening to some shuffling and the protests of my son, my brother and my son’s faces are visible once more. I help guide my brother through the process of looking for, booking, and getting two cheap plane tickets. I tell him my card info so he can type it in.

“Alright, sis. It looks like we’ll be flying out ‘round noon our time. And, after a 5 and a half flight, we should be to the city by dinnertime. How’s that?” Chris double checks.

“Sounds fuckin’ good to me! I can’t wait. I’ll meet y’all there!” I grin and cover my mouth as I yawn.

Chris chuckles. “Good. Looks like you need to get to bed. It’s what, 11 there?”

I nod. “Yea...I think so. It’s been a long day.”

“I can tell. Well, get some sleep. We’ll be there tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait to see y’all. It’s been a long two weeks.”

“I bet. I honestly don’t see how you’ve been a single mom for the last 6 months. I’ve been watching this little monster for 2 weeks and I swear, I’m never having my own kids.”

I laugh. “Shut up! He’s not that bad. He just misses his mommy. And, you never wanted your own kids. You’ve always been too scared. Couldn’t even sit down if there was a kid in the room.”

“Hey! I just didn’t want to risk accidentally sitting on them and squishing them!” 

I giggle as my brother grins. “I know, bro. I’m just giving you shit.”

“Yea. Just like your son’s been doing all day.”

I laugh, yawning again. “Shouldn’t have given him the sweet potato mush. I warned you.”

He rolls his eyes, chuckling. “Whatever.”

“I am proud of you, bro. You’ve done so well with him, and I appreciate everything you’ve done to help me. I know it’s been a long couple of months, not just the two weeks I’ve been out here.”

“I just wanna see you happy again, sis, and I’m always here for you. That’s why I’m more than willing to help you.”

“I know. And it means the world. Give him kisses for me and tap his little tummy twice to tell him I love him?”

Chris smiles. “I will. Be careful, yeah? We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll try. Love you.”

“Yea. Ok. I know.”

He grins and waves, getting Max to copy him as he hangs up the call. I smile to myself. My brother’s never been one to say “I love you” to someone. He’s been like that since we were little when he was 5 and I was 6. So, I don’t take it personally when he just responds as he does. I know he still loves me. 

He’s been there for me, just like I’ve always been there for him. After my last relationship hit the fan and I caught my fiancé cheating on me with a man and said she no longer felt like being a mom in a same-sex relationship, just a few weeks before Max was born and we were supposed to gain custody of him, Chris offered to let me move in with him once Max was born. 

So, that’s what we did. Max and I left Kentucky where I’d been living all through and well after college and moved to San Diego to live with my brother. The 5.5 months we were there, I looked ‘round for a job that I could use my history degree in, while also working on my last novel. After getting an offer from a museum in New York, I broke the news to Chris that Max and I would be moving to the city.

He’d been shocked at first since we were both from a small town in the mountains of Western North Carolina, and I’d sworn I’d never live in a big city. ‘Specially one in the North since it got too cold in the winter and I’d always been made fun of for my strong Southern accent. I’d explained to him that I had to do what was best for Max, that I had a son to think ‘bout now.

He’d understood after that and was willing to watch Max while I traveled back across the country to a new place, to look for a good living arrangement, and get settled in for my new job. He told me that once I got settled, he’d bring Max out and then help me get all moved in and everything. Which is what led us to tonight. 

After hanging up with my brother and my son, I plug my phone up, set a few alarms, and curl up in the chair to try and get some sleep, knowing that tomorrow’s gonna be an even bigger day. All while never knowing that I was being watched by landlord peeking through a strategically placed and well-hidden hole in the wall.

When I wake up the morning, well early afternoon really, groaning and blindly reaching out for my phone to shut up the annoying alarms, I stretch and rub my eyes. I’m definitely not a morning person, and usually, get my best work done between the hours of 1 and 7 am. It’s been great since Max still hasn’t picked up on the whole sleeping through the night thing.

I finally push myself up outta the chair, my joints protesting the clearly uncomfortable position I just spent the last six hours in while curled up. Making my way to the kitchen, I get a pot of coffee going before padding back across the apartment to the bedroom and bathroom. I shoot my brother a text, letting him know that I’ll still pick him and Max up from the airport. 

After my shower, and downing the entire pot of coffee, I put some music on as I start to plan how I want the apartment set up and start looking up furniture stores on my phone, even ordering a few things online to be delivered in a couple of days.. I get lost in my search, that it takes me several long minutes to notice someone’s knocking on my door. 

Clicking my phone off, I tuck it in my pocket and make way to the door, opening it to find my landlord.

 He and I talk for a few minutes until I suddenly realize the time.

“Oh shit! I gotta go!” 

Max, my landlord, raises a brow. “Hot date tonight?”

I smile. “You could say that. I gotta go pick the love of my life up from the airport.”

I watch as Max’s face falls and he gets a sad look in his eye. 

“I thought you were single?” He asks. 

Scrambling to put my boots on, I reply to him. “I am. But, I still gotta pick him up.”

“Oh. Well, alright then.”

I look at him as I grab my drawstring bag that I use instead of a purse and put it on my back. 

“I’ll be back soon. If you wanna come over, I’d love to introduce you. You’ll see him ‘round a lot.” I say, grabbing my key.

“Um. Maybe. I know I’ll be busy with the renovations in the other apartments. I just thought I’d stop by and check on you, see how you settling in.”

I smile and gently place my hand on his shoulder, trying my best to ignore the rush of excitement that courses through my body at the touch. My landlord is not only smoking hot, but he’s also well built and I can feel his muscles under my hand.

“Thank you, Max. I greatly appreciate it.” I say.

He just nods and stares at my hand for a moment. 

“Oh...sorry.” I apologize, dropping my hand, quickly remembering how shy he is. “I’ll...uh...see you later, maybe? I’d really love for you to meet him. He’s a sweetheart.”

He shrugs and rubs the back of his neck. “We’ll see how the renovations go.”

“Sounds good! Don’t work too hard!”

“I am working too hard!”

I giggle, playfully smacking his shoulder. 

“Don’t do it.” I giggle.

I quickly leave after locking my door and hurry downstairs, hailing a cab and head to the airport. Thankfully, there doesn’t seem to be too much traffic, which surprises me since the first I noticed when I got to the city was all the traffic. When I get there, I realize I’m still a few minutes early, so I make my way over to the gates to wait. 

Nearly half an hour later, I spot my brother, holding my son, carrying only the diaper bag and a small book bag, and rush over. As soon as I reach them, I happily take my little boy in my arms, peppering his chubby little cheeks with kisses, which has him squealing happily and patting my head. I giggle and tilt my head back to look at him, despite the happy tears rolling down my cheeks.

Tapping my finger against his belly twice like I’ve done since the moment I first held him and the moment the docs told me he was deaf, I let my son know I love him. He giggles and curls his fingers ‘round mine, holding it tight. I lift my shoulder, turning my head in an attempt to wipe my tears away. Once I’ve done that, I look up at my 6’2” tall brother, grinning from ear to ear.

He just smiles and pulls me in for a hug. I lean against him since my arms are full from where I’m holding Max. Laying my head against Chris’ chest, I smile. He just hugs me a little tighter, but not too much ‘cause of Max.

“Missed you, sis.” He says.

“I fuckin’ missed you too, bro.” I reply. 

He laughs and lets go of me, looking at me. “You look happy.”

“I am now! I’ve got my little boy in my arms, and you’re here. But, I’m sure you’re hungry?”

“Always am!”

I laugh. “C’mon. Let’s go get some food and head to my place. You’re really gonna love it!”

He chuckles and follows as I carry a giggling and snuggly Max outta the airport. I look up Chris. 

“You’re taller. Hail a cab.” I say.

He raises a brow. “How?”

I giggle and tell him since it’s the time he’s ever had to do it. Growing up in our small town, we didn’t have taxis, and then when he moved to San Diego during my senior year of college, he already had his own car, so he didn’t have to worry ‘bout taxis out there. It doesn’t take long before one comes to a stop in front of us.

Piling in, I give the driver my new address, and we set off towards home. Well, my home. Chris and I spend the time talking while I just hold Max close, patting his butt. Right as the driver makes it to the apartment building, the air suddenly smells shitty. I know Max has pooped himself, and I soothe him before he can start crying and apologizing to the driver, giving him a decent tip.

Ushering Chris out the cab, so I can get out with Max, I shift my son in my arms. 

“Don’t worry, baby boy. Mama’s gonna get you upstairs, and get you all cleaned up!” I coo, softly, my lips near his ear so that he can feel the vibrations of my voice as I talk.

Max settles down a little as he sniffles, clinging to my shirt. I kiss his head and led the way inside and up to my apartment. Shifting him once more, I dig my key out, unlock the door, and step in with Chris right behind me. 

“Let me get him changed. Feel free to look around. There’s not much, but we’ll fix that tomorrow.” I say.

Chris nods and drapes the strap of the diaper bag over my shoulder. I carry Max into the bathroom and set him on the tiled floor. I keep him distracted while I change his diaper, and tap his tummy twice after buttoning his onesie and slipping his little shorts back on. He lets out a giggle, holding his hands up.

Giggling myself, I scoop him back up in my arms, tossing the dirty diaper in the small trash can as I walk out. 

***

Over the next couple of weeks, Chris helps me move furniture in, get the apartment set up, takes turns with caring for Max, and even teaching me some of the new recipes he’s picked up. He’s come along way, considering that the kid used to burn cereal when he tried to make himself some when we were kids.

We take a few days, once the apartment’s set up, to explore the city. I haven’t done much sight-seeing myself since I arrived. It was mainly ‘cause I was too busy trying to find a place and everything. A few times, I spot my landlord while we’re out and about, and I try to wave him over so he can meet my son and my brother.

Especially since he never showed up the night Chris arrived. I’d been really excited to introduce them. I couldn’t explain why, other than the fact that I wanted Max to meet my son and my brother. Yet, Max never comes over. He always pulls his phone out when our eyes meet and presumably takes a call, walking in the opposite direction.

Two and a half weeks after Chris arrives in New York, Max and I take him to the airport to catch his flight back to San Diego. We stay with him till it’s time for his plane to be boarded. As he hands his ticket over, he assures him he’ll text me when he lands in California and when he gets home. I give him one last hug and lift Max’s hand in a wave.

***

After Chris leaves, Max and I settled into our normal routine. I wake up shortly after he does, get him changed and dressed for the day, and then lay him down on the living room floor for tummy time while I get to work. The position I have at the museum allows me to work from home, occasionally going in once or twice a week, with Max, to take care of some things there.

When I’m not working for the museum, I’m attempting to work on my novel. After I get done with work, I feed Max and me, before we settle on the couch with a Disney movie or one of the three Despicable Me movies playing for naptime. Even if Max can’t hear, he still loves watching the screen, giggling. 

He absolutely loves the minions and squeals every time he sees them on the screen. After naptime, he and I lay on the floor for more tummy time while I try to teach him the sign language I’ve been learning. My baby brother, Eli, was also born with hearing issues, so thankfully I knew some when he was growing up, but I’ve also been teaching myself more since I found out Max was deaf.

At the end of the day, and getting some more work done, along with dinner, I give Max his bath. He’s always loved bath time, except for the few times water lands in his ears. Since it’s his favorite, I give him one every day, which doesn’t put too much strain on the water bill ‘cause Max’s baby bath is small and doesn’t take a lot of water.

When bedtime rolls ‘round, I curl up on my new bed with Max cuddled to my chest with my shirt tightly gripped in one hand and his shark blankie in the other. I rub his back and hum softly so he can feel the vibrations from it as he drifts off to sleep. We keep the routine up for the next month a half. During this time, I never talk to my landlord, not even when I go to give him the rent.

I mean, yeah, I’ll see him occasionally ‘round the building, but he doesn’t say a word. He just looks at me for a moment, before dropping his head and walking away. It breaks my heart ‘cause I want to talk to him. We had so much fun talking and goofing off the night he helped me move in. But, since that day I had to rush off to the airport, we haven’t spoken.

I just resigned myself to knowing that he obviously thinks we’re nothing more than landlord and tenant. Which, honestly, make me sad ‘cause I thought we’d have become friends. He was the first person that was actually nice to me after I moved to the city. I also tuck down the feelings of the crush on him I have.

He reminds me a lot of Papa Winchester from my favorite tv show, Supernatural, and I’ve always had the hots for the oldest Winchester. Even my ex-fiancé knew that, and she agreed. See, we’re both bisexual, but I’d always thought she was the one. Until I caught her in bed, our bed, with a man, and she’d told me what she did.

The six months after we broke up were the hardest, ‘cause I’d been ready to marry her. But it didn’t work out. And after I’d moved to New York, met my landlord Max, and realized I’d had a crush on him, I was starting to come to terms with maybe moving on. Getting back out there. I mean, I knew there’d probably be nothing more than a friendship with my landlord, but I was ok with that.

But, I don’t even have that anymore. I sigh to myself, urging my thoughts to go down a different road, as I pull the clothes out the dryer. Just as I finish pulling the last few clothes outta the dryer, I hear whimpering. I listen for a moment to try and figure out where the sound’s coming from so I can go get my son.

After a moment, and the realization that the sound of whimpers is coming from the falls, I try to tone down the feeling of panic that’s quickly spreading through my body. Max started crawling shortly after we moved here, and I know he’s been exploring the apartment. I just hope he hasn’t gotten himself stuck somewhere. 

I quickly leave the clothes on the dryer and walk further into the apartment, closer to the sound of the whimpers.

“Max? Honey? Don’t worry, ok? Mama’s coming to get you.”

I call out, without thinking ‘bout the fact that my son’s deaf. I call the words out based on instinct and the need to assure my son that he’s gonna be ok. I follow the noise, getting closer to the kitchen and my eyes widen. Did I forget to put the baby gate up so he couldn’t get in there? When I reach the kitchen and realize that I did indeed forget to put the baby gate, my heart drops to my stomach.

“Fuck!”

I step into the pantry where the sounds of the whimpers are louder and look ‘round. I don’t see my son anywhere. Then I hear the whimpers again and realize that they’re coming from the other side of the wall. I gently push against the right wall, to give myself leverage, as I keep looking, thinking there’s no way that the whimpers are coming from the walls.

My eyes widen as the wall shifts a little with my touch, and they nearly pop outta their sockets when I realize the wall isn’t just a wall. It’s a door that’s already slightly open. My heart starts beating faster as I realize that there’s a slight chance that Max could’ve crawled in here, and through the small opening.

I take in a shaky breath as I push the door open enough for my small frame to fit through. Once I’m through, I notice two things from the get-go. One, the whimpers get louder. Two, the door leads to what looks like an old set of maintenance hallways. I know older buildings used to have them, so it makes sense that this building would have ‘em too.

I just never really put the thought into asking or caring if the building had them. I make my way deeper into the hidden hallways, being careful not to trip or hit my head on anything. Keeping my eyes peeled for my son, I get closer to the sound of the whimpers until I finally reach the source. My eyes widen when I see who’s making the sounds.

“Max?” I ask, softly, getting closer.

My landlord doesn’t even look up as he flinches at the sound of my voice. He just whimpers and bites harder into his wrist. 

My heart breaks and I crouch down next to him, gently taking his hand and pulling his wrist from the tight grip his teeth have on it.

“Max? Honey, it’s ok. You’re safe.” I murmur.

He whimpers a little more and hides his face. I immediately realize what’s going on. He’s having a panic attack, and it looks to be a bad one. Rubbing my thumb across his knuckles, I lean closer to him, gently wrapping my arms ‘round the slightly older man, and pull him close to me. I reach a hand up and run my fingers through his hair, softly and silently convincing him to lay his head on my chest.

I soothe him, calm him, and help him relax ‘nough that he slowly eases outta the panic attack. Not stopping my fingers as they continue to run through his hair, I start humming softly. I know panic attacks are one of the worst things to go through. Especially all alone. It takes several minutes, but I eventually feel Max relax, sagging against me as the panic attack leaves him.

Even though he’s outta it, I continue to run my fingers through his dark curls. 

“Better?” I ask softly.

He nods, just a quick, subtle little jerk of his head against my chest, but it’s still a nod. 

“Will you come back to my apartment with me? I wanna take a look at your arm. You bit down on it pretty hard.” I explain after he looks at me with uncertainty swirling in his muddy water brown eyes.

He takes a deep breath but nods again. I smile.

“That’s a good boy. C’mon. We’ll get you all fixed up.” I say, not sounding patronizing, but rather motherly.

I smile to myself as a light blush covers his cheeks at my words. I gently pat his shoulder before we stand up. As I lead him back through the maintenance hallways to the door that leads into my pantry, I notice other little holes in the wall, discreetly checking them out. When I realize they show off different points of my apartment, I raise a brow but don’t say a word.

After peeking through one of the holes, I see Max, my son, sleeping peacefully in his little playpen and let out a soft breath of relief, remembering that I’d laid him in there when I went to do laundry. I hold my landlord’s hand the entire time we walk through the hallways if nothing more than to keep him calm.

When Max and I get to the door leading to the pantry, he suddenly stops, jerking me to a stop too since I wasn’t expecting it and had been leading him by the hand. I turn ‘round and look at him.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, confused.

“The love of your life? Where’s he at?” He asks after, nervously, after a moment.

I smile. “He’s sleeping, in the other room. It’s ok.”

I watch as more hesitation and uncertainty fill Max’s eyes. I give his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“Hey. It’s ok. He won’t mind you being in there. He gets a bit protective over me, but I just know he’s gonna love you.” I assure him.

“I...I don’t think so...guys typically don’t like me. Neither do girls. I’m a loner.” He mumbles, looking at his feet while flicking his thumb against his finger on his other hand.

“Max?”

He lifts his head, looking at me. “Hmm?”

“Trust me. He’s gonna love you.”

He shrugs. “Nah. He won’t. ‘Specially not since he has you.”

“Hey. Stop doubting yourself, ok? He’s gonna love you ‘cause I like you.”

“You...you like me?”

I smile and nod. “I do. And you’d know that if you hadn’t been avoiding me since I had to leave so quickly to get to the airport.”

A small smile tugs on his lips. “You’ve been busy.”

“I’m never too busy for you, Max. Now, c’mon. Let’s get your wrist all cleaned up, then you meet the person who stole my heart with just one look. And, he’s gonna steal yours too.”

I giggle and gently squeeze his hand as he looks nervous. I lead him into my apartment from the pantry, and into the living room. 

“Have a seat on the couch, ok? I’m just gonna go grab the first aid kit. Don’t try and leave. I’ll follow you and kick your door down if you do.” I playfully threaten. “I don’t mess around with first aid.”

Thankfully, it gets a chuckle outta him and he takes a seat on the couch, holding his hands up in surrender. I grin and head to my bathroom to grab the first aid kit. Walking back through my bathroom, I stop by the playpen, lean down and kiss my son’s head, covering him up more with his shark blankie.

Watching him for a moment, I smile to myself and head back to the living room. Max is still in the same spot he was when I left him a moment ago, but this time, he has his hands on his lap as he picks at the bite mark on his wrist. I gently slap his hand away. 

“Stop that, mister. You’ll do more damage than what you’ve already done.” I say, kneeling on the floor in front of him, between his knees. 

He raises a brow and mutters a quiet, “I’m sorry.”

“Good boy. Now hold your hand out so I can look at it.”

He blushes a little but does as I ask. Gently taking his arm in my grasp, I inspect the self-inflicted bite mark on his wrist. After cleaning it with some alcohol wipes and putting Neosporin on it, I gently wrap some gauze ‘round his wrist and tape it so it stays in place. Without thinking ‘bout it, I place a gentle kiss on over the wrapped wound.

It’s outta habit that I do it since I do it whenever my son gets a boo-boo. I hear Max suck in a deep breath and my eyes jerk up to meet his. His bottom lip is captured between his impossibly white teeth and his cheeks are a shade pinker than they were before.

“I...I’m sorry. It’s outta habit that I do that.” I mutter, trying to explain as quickly as I can.

“I...it’s fine. I’ve just never had anyone do that before.” He mumbles.

I raise a brow. “Your mama never kissed your boo-boos?”

His eyes get that sad, lost look in his eyes. He pulls his arm outta my grasp and, not answering, he walks over to the window. I sit back on my ankles, packing the first aid kid up. 

“Max...I’m sorry. I didn’t...you don’t have to talk ‘bout it.” I say quietly.

He just sighs and stares out the window, not saying a word. 

“My…” He starts, still staring out the window. “My parents died when I was 10. My grandfather, August, he’s the one who raised me.”

I stand and gently pad over to him. “I’m so sorry, Max. I didn’t know. I didn’t think before I asked that.”

He glances at me then looks back out the window. Without thinking, and just doing it, I wrap my arms ‘round his waist and lay my head against his chest. He tenses up immediately at my touch.

“What...what are you doing?” He asks.

I tilt my head back to look up at him. “It’s called a hug. It’s supposed to be comforting. I can stop if it makes you too uncomfortable.”

I watch as his facial expression changes with several different emotions before a smile finally settles on his lips.

“Nah. It’s not too uncomfortable. I’m just not used to this.” He says after a few moments. 

“This?” I ask.

He nods. “Hugs. I can’t even remember the last time I had one.”

I tighten my arms ‘round him and lay my head back on his chest. I feel his arms slowly make their way ‘round me, loosely holding me close, and I smile. 

“Whenever you want one, just come to me and I’ll happily give you one.” I say. “I’m not really much of a hugger, but with you, it just feels right, so you can have a hug whenever.”

“Really?” He asks.

I nod against his chest. “Mmhhmm.”

“Thanks...but...what ‘bout...the love of your life? Is he ok with you giving random men hugs?”

I giggle and look up at him. “You’re not a random man, but yes. He’d be ok with me giving you hugs. He loves them, so he’ll probably try and give you one too.”

“Um…” He hesitates, slowly dropping his arms. “I dunno how I feel ‘bout your man giving me hugs.”

I giggle. “You’ll change your mind when you meet him.”

“I dunno.”

“I do! Stay here. I’ll bring him out to you.”

“Ummm…”

I giggle and lean up to kiss his cheek. “Just wait here.”

He swallows deeply, making his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “Ok.”

“Good boy.”

I giggle and leave him in the living as I walk into the other room where I know my son is. Reaching into the playpen, I scoop him up, making him giggle. I heard him cooing to himself a few moments ago, so that’s how I knew he was awake. I kiss his cheeks and gently tap his tummy twice. He makes a happy noise and snuggles to me.

I smile and hold him close as I walk back out to the living room. Max is looking out the window again, this time, though, he’s got his arms wrapped ‘round his torso, almost like he’s giving himself a hug. I giggle softly and make my way over to him.

“Max?”

He lifts his head and turns his gaze from the river to me. His eyes widen as he sees my son in my arms. Shock, confusion, and another emotion flash across his face. 

“Who? Who’s that?” He asks.

“Max, this is the love of my life. My son.” I say, grinning from ear to ear.

“Your son? Love of your life?”

I giggle and nod. “Mmhhmm. I adopted him when he was born. I can’t have kids myself, and my ex-fiancé and I had talked ‘bout adopting. So, we decided to do it. Found out that this little guy’s mama was putting him up for adoption before he was even born. Then, just before he was born, my ex-fiancé and I split. I still adopted this little monkey and it’s just been he and I against the world since.”

“But...that man...who was here...was that your former fiancé?”

I giggle and shake my head. “No! That was my oldest younger brother, Chris. He’d been watching Max for me while I got settled in the city. After I moved in here, I called him, and he brought my son out here and helped me get furniture and whatnot. I really wanted you to meet him while he was here...but you kept getting phone calls…”

“Your brother?” 

I smile and nod. “He’s the oldest of my two brothers, and I’m the oldest of all the kids.”

“Oh…”

I giggle. “Yea.”

“Those phone calls...they weren’t actually phone calls.”

I raise a brow. “You mean to tell me you faked ‘em just so you wouldn’t have to come over?”

He looks down, nodding. “You just seemed so happy with him. I thought y’all were together and that the kid was y’all’s. It…” He shakes his head, cutting off the rest of his sentence.

“Max, I wasn’t lying when I told you I was single the first night I spent here. But I also didn’t tell you that there is a guy I like.”

“Oh...well...I don’t wanna meet him…”

I giggle. “Too late. You already have.”

He frowns. “I have?”

Nodding, I grin and take his hand. “C’mon. I’ll show you who he is.”

“I don’t wanna…”

“Tooooo bad, mister.” 

I giggle and lead him to the bathroom, standing him in front of the mirror as I stand next to him, holding my son.

“I thought you were showing me someone I don’t wanna see.” He says, his voice quiet.

“I am. Tell me who you see.” I say, grinning.

“Me. I see me, you, and your son.” 

“Exactly. So, you see the guy I have a crush on.”

“Isn’t that a little weird to have a crush on your son?”

I giggle. “Yea. So, it’s a good thing he’s not who I have crush on.”

His brows furrow in confusion and I giggle and gently turn him to face me.

“You’re adorable.” I say.

“How?” He asks, confused even more. 

“You’re just not getting it, are you?”

He shakes his head. “No?”

“Max, you’re the guy I like.”

“Me?”

Nodding, I smile. “You.”

I watch as he gets the cutest, dimpled smile on his face, making me giggle more. He blushes and ducks his head down for a moment before looking at me.

“You really like me?” He asks, softly.

“Mmhhmm. I do. I just thought you didn’t like me since you kept ignoring me.” I say.

“I was just trying to distance myself...I thought you were with that guy, who’s actually your brother...I thought he was your ex-fiancé that you’d mentioned that first night...that you’d taken him back.”

I giggle. “Oh, Max. My ex-fiancé was a woman. Who cheated on me with a man. In our own bed.”

His eyes widen. “You were with a girl? But...you like me?”

“I’m what you’d call bisexual. I play for both teams. I like guys and girls.”

“Oh!” He lets out a soft chuckle. “So...what’s this mean? For us?”

I giggle. “It means, that I’d like to date you. If you want that.”

He grins, making his dimples show more. “I’d...I’d like that.”

“Me too! We just have to get someone’s permission first.”

“Permission? From?”

I smile and turn my son ‘round to face him. “Max here has to approve first. I have to think of him now, especially when it comes to relationships.”

Max nods and looks at my son, then back at me. “Wait. His name’s Max?”

I smile. “Maxwell Dean Sullivan. Sometimes, though, I’ll call him Deaf.” (Deef.)

“Why?”

“Oh. He’s deaf.”

“Oh!”

I smile and nod then look down at my son as he wiggles in my arms, reaching out for Max. I giggle and gently hold him out, waiting for him to take him. Max gently, and somewhat nervously, takes my little boy, and cradles him.

“Awww! You’re like a pro!” I grin.

“I’m not gonna lie. I’m scared shitless. He’s so small.” He whispers.

I giggle. “You’re also really big. Max and I are both small compared to you. And you help me close and gently.”

This gets a soft chuckle from my landlord and he visibly relaxes, shifting Max so he’s a little more comfortable. My son giggles and reaches up, patting Max’s cheeks, squealing at the feeling of the short beard tickling his tiny palms. I smile and lean against the mirror, watching them. 

“I think Deaf likes you.” I say.

“Yea? You really think so?” Max looks up and he visibly tenses as he soon as he sees me leaning against the mirror. “Don’t lean against that. Please.”

I raise a brow, but step away from the mirror. “Why not?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t, Max. It seems like a sturdy mirror. Plus, the wall behind it keeps it up.”

He lowers his gaze and hands my son back to me, much to my son’s protests and my own confusion. 

“I...I should go...just please don’t lean against the mirror.” Max says quietly and turns to leave.

I reach a hand out and curl my fingers ‘round his upper arm. 

“Hey. Stop. You don’t have to go.” I say.

He nods. “I do. There’s stuff you don’t know ‘bout me...I’m not a good man…”

I raise a brow. “Max. Aside from ignoring me for the last several weeks, we’ve still been good to me. You are a good man. I know you are.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but can’t help.”

A thought hits me and I look up at him. “You mean the holes in the walls? That allows someone to peep through into my apartment?”

His face pales and I get my answer. I reach up and cup his cheek. 

“Max. It’s ok. I saw him when I was leading you back to my place to fix your wrist. The walls...they’re your safe place, aren’t they?” I ask, softly.

“It’s quiet in there. I like the silence.” He mumbles, closing his eyes. “I can watch...and it calms me.”

“Have you watched me?”

He swallows deeply. “I tried not to...but I…”

“Shhh. It’s ok, Max. I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?”

“No. I’m not. Some might think it’s creepy, but in a way, it’s like you’re watching over, protecting me. Me and Deaf.”

“I...I didn’t think of that.”

I smile and tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear. “It helps you stay calm, watching me?”

He nods. “I can’t hear the voices…”

“What voices?”

“The ones telling me…” He shudders.

“Breathe, Max. It’s ok. What do they tell you?”

“That I’m a coward. A pervert. A creep.” 

His reply is so quiet I almost don’t hear it. But I do. I place my palm back against his cheek.

“Is that why you bit your wrist earlier?” I ask softly.

He nods. “To make them shut up.”

“Well, you don’t have to do it alone anymore, ok? I’ll tell those voices to shut up too.”

He opens his eyes and looks at me, unsure. 

“I will.” I assure him.

“But...why?” His child-like voice breaks my heart.

“Because, they’re lying to you, Max. The things they tell you, they’re not true. You’re not a creep. Not a pervert. And you are definitely not a coward.”

“But...I am.”

“No, Max. You’re not. You’re not any of those. You’re just a man who needs someone to show him what it’s like to be loved. You didn’t have a good childhood. Losing your parents, and having your grandfather raise you. But you survived. You grew up. You coped with everything thrown your way in the ways that you knew how. You’re a survivor, Max. And, that alone makes you the furthest thing from being a creep and a coward. As for being a pervert, I don’t think you’re that either.”

He doesn’t say a word, but he leans into my touch more.

“How do you know?” He asks after a few minutes.

“I know, because I can tell you’re not. Believe me, I grew up ‘round ‘nough perverts to know that’s not you. You’re nothing like them. That’s how I know.” I whisper.

“You still like me?” He lifts his eyes to meet mine.

“I do, Max. And, I’m gonna show you what it’s like to be loved. We’ll get there. And Deaf here, this little boy in my arms, he’ll show you too. I told you he’d love you when he met you.”

“He does?”

I smile and nod. “He doesn’t reach out to just anyone. It took him months just to go to my brother. But it took him maybe 5 minutes to go to you. And, kids are usually really good judges of character. Just like dogs. So, I can assure you he doesn’t think you’re anything like what the voices tell you.”

He nods slowly and looks down at the little boy in my arms. 

“He is cute.” He mumbles.

I giggle. “Damn right he is! He’s my son.”

Max chuckles softly. “That’s true. But...you’re not cute.”

I raise a brow and look at him. “That’s not exactly the best thing to say to your new girlfriend.”

He grins. “Girlfriend? I like the sound of that...but you’re not cute. You’re beautiful.”

I blush. “So are you. Ain’t you can’t argue with me. The girlfriend’s always right.”

He laughs softly. “Is that so?”

“Mmhhmm! Now. I believe there’s a little boy who wants to be held by you.”

He smiles and kisses my palm before standing up straight and gently taking Max from my arms, holding him close. 

“As for the mirror, Max. We’ll just board up the other side.” I say, getting the picture, from his reaction, that it’s one of those mirrors like police station interrogation rooms have. “And, you won’t have to go back into the tunnels anymore. You have me and Max now. We’ll be here for you.”

He swallows deeply and nods. “Promise?”

“I promise promise, Max. But, know that if you ever cheat on me, I’ll cut your dick and balls off.”

His eyes widen as he nods. “I...I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

I smile. “Good. And I wouldn’t do it to you either.”

He lets out a breath of relief. “So...does this mean...that I have a family?”

I smile. “Yes, Max. It does. We’re your family now, and you’re our family.”

[angelofhell-666]

Hail Hydra part 4

Sorry it took for long to post this one. I work two jobs and had to do overnights all last week for the one. Hopefully yall like this one. i’m also taking requests for one shots also for marvel. Enjoy!

warnings- language.

word count- 2,297

It’s been five days. Five days since we had to go into the tower to grab our stuff and got attacked. I woke up around the following day sometime to Bucky asleep next to me in a chair. They brought us back to gramps house and set up a makeshift hospital area in his unfinished basement. Well it was kinda finished. He kept most of his old captain America stuff down there and I hid my weapons and other stuff besides the occasional handgun in my room.

When that hydra dickbag jumped out of the helicopter Sam flew around looking for him but it’s almost like he just disappeared. Bucky and Sam ended up with very minimal injury’s. Maybe couple scratches and bruises and lucky for Buck he heals quickly. I mean I would have to but I still have this damn thing behind my ear stopping my powers.

I ended up with a broken nose that had to be re broken to set properly and luckily when I got shot at he just missed my knee cap so it didn’t shatter. But it did hit right above my knee so I have stitches and it braced so I can’t bend it. Strictly bound to crutches and minimal movement. Sam and Maria have been trying to come up with ways to get the damn device off my but it’s not use. We, well they, are going to have to get into the hydra base and grab something there.

Bucky’s been by my side without leaving unless he has to use the bathroom. And when he sleeps he stays down stairs with me since I let Sam bunk in my room since I can’t get up the stairs.

Everytime Bucky looked at me the past few days I just see how bad he feels like he’s looking at an injured baby deer.

Since Maria and Sam left to do some recon on the hydra base, Bucky brought me out to the back deck for us to sit and have our lunch at. Gramps was inside for his afternoon nap leaving us alone.

As I was trying to eat my sandwhich I caught Bucky looking at me. “You need to stop looking at me like that.” I spoke up.

“Like what?” he questioned.

“Like I’m some injured animal. I’m fine Buck.”

He huffed and put his sandwhich down, “Listen I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything sooner. If I did they would have shot you.”

I moved my hand so it’s sat ontop of his and I squeezed it, “Buck, I know. There’s nothing you could have done. And I’m not mad at you or Sam. Why would I be? We were out gunned and numbered. These things happen when we’re us.” I smile at him.

He looked up and smiled softly back, “Your nose just looks like it hurts so bad.”

I giggled softly since if I full on laugh ill cry from the pain, “It only hurts when I laugh or touch it. Looks a lot worse than it feels. Been a long time since I’v healed normally. If I ever had.”

He got up and leaned close to my face where I can feel his breath on my lips, “You promise it doesn’t hurt when I kiss you?” he whispered.

“I promise.” I whispered back. He leaned closer and gave me the softest kiss to my lips. Afraid to break glass. He pulled away slowly and smiled. Then before he sat down he kissed my head.

“I can’t wait to see that asshole and break his neck for doing this to you.” He angrily said as he took a bite of his sandwich.

“Man I wanted to be the one to snap it!” I joked back.

“Your not snapin’ anything until you can walk Sparky.” Sam’s voice spoke as him and Maria walked up the back yard.

I rolled my eyes as Bucky spoke up, “Anything suspicious?”

“Just a bunch of hydra guys. Definitely think they have some high tech stuff in there they are working on though. Tonight should be a good time to get in. Overheard they are moving supplies tonight so less men there.” Maria spoke up as she sat down at the table with us.

Sam grabbed an extra sandwich from the plate in the middle and sat down on the back deck steps since my leg was resting on the other chair.

“I don’t like the idea of you guys going in there without me. I can really help if you guys wait until I’m healed.”

“Sparky we would have to wait like 4 months for you to walk again.” Sam said with his mouth full.

“It won’t take that long!” I yelled, “Will it?” I then whispered to Maria.

She smiled softly, “No. Not really. But we will have you on our com’s they should reach back here. And we will have cam’s on so you can be our eye’s for us.”

I nodded my head, “Ya know come to think of it. I especially don’t like the fact that your all going for that stupid remote rather than going to stop them from moving supplies.”

“Going to stop them doing that is for another time. With more hands on deck.” Maria said as she looked at me.

Sam spoke up before he took another bite of his sandwich, “Besides I can’t stand cyborg over there bein’ all depressed lookin’ at you like that.”

Bucky shot Sam a look. Boy if looks could kill.

Gramps comes walking out of the back door and comes to stand behind my chair. “Why does Buck look angry? What’d Sam do this time?”

~~

A few more hours go by and they start gearing up. Bucky comes over to me sitting up on the couch and sits down next to me. “Can you hook this up for me?” he holds out he body camera.

“Of course. Knowing you, you’d break it in half.” I let out a soft laugh as I grab it from him.

“Well I am over a hundred years old, these aren’t from my time sweetheart.” He laughs.

I started to laugh, “er ouch!” I yell as I put my hand up to my face.

Bucky reaches his hand out and gently puts it over mine, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you laugh.”

I peek an eye open and it looks like he broke something, “It’s fine Buck. It actually felt good to really laugh. It’s been a few days.”

He shook his head, “I can’t wait to get that remote to get that thing off you. I can’t stand seeing you not be able to be yourself.” He moves his hand so it gently cupping my cheek.

Flashback to a few days earlier Buckys POV

Sam and I got back to the van and started to drive it to a private airport to meet Maria with the chopper.

“Man I’m going to kill that fuckin guy.” I say aloud.

“Dude it’s goin’ to be alright. Let’s just focus on getting’ Sparky medical attention alright? Then you can kill him.” Sam said calmly as we pulled up to the chopper as it just landed.

Before the van even fully stopped I open the door and ran over. Maria was just opening the door to the back of the chopper and jumped out. “I called a Dr. I can trust and gave them Steve’s address. He’l be waiting for us there. Grab her and we need to put pressure on it!” she yelled.

I get up to the chopper and jump in the back to grab her. Oh god. I can feel my face go pale.

“Oh my god.” I heard Sam say as his footsteps come slower.

I leaned down as gently as I can and put my ear to her chest. Good she’s still breathing. I scoop my arms under her legs and behind her neck. God I hope I don’t hurt her. She slowly started to stir.

“ugghh.” She mumbled then hissed in pain.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. But I have to move you.” I whispered.

I gently lift her up and turn to step down. “We can’t fix ya up here we have to move. I’m going to do this as gently as possible.” I speak up.

I stepped off the chopper as she hissed in pain some more. “God I wish I could heal…” she whispered through gritted teeth.

I look down at her and she had her eyes squeezed shut. Maria came closer and had what looked like a needle in her hand. “Y/N this might sting for a second but will help with the pain.” She took the cap off and pinched the skin on her arm and injected it.

She hissed more from the sting. “What was that?” Sam asked.

“Morphine. It’ll help with the pain. Let’s go.” Maria said as she walked towards the van.

Sam followed then myself. He went over to the van and opened the back door for me and her. I got in and laid her down gently on the floor and sat there and put her head in my lap as Sam jumped in the back and grabbed a towel to put pressure on her leg.

“Looks like they shot above her knee cap. Thank god otherwise it would have been shattered.” Sam’s voice echoed through the van.

We started to leave the air strip and head for the road. With Marias driving we should be back at the house in no time.

I look down at her and push some of her hair behind her ear away from her face. I’v never felt so much pain in my chest before for someone else. Is this what it feels like? To be in love? I felt my eyes fill with tears. It felt weird being the first time in a long long time having them.i just can’t stand seeing her in pain. And there was nothing I could have done to help.

Her stirring brought me back from my thoughts.

“Yucky…is that you…” she mumbled.

I cupped her cheek and chuckled, “Yea it’s me. They gave you morphine for the pain.”

Her eyes were still shut and she gave a soft smile. “I can’t smell anything…”

“That’s because they broke your nose doll…” I whispered and grabbed something to hold to her nose to try to stop the little blood coming out.

She started to open and close her mouth like she was tasting something. “Is that why there a funny taste in my mouth Yucky?” she asked.

“Yea Yucky I that why?” Sam giggled out.

I glared at him. “Aw is that the little birdy talkin’?” she mumbled out. She’s starting to get more delirious and tired.

I laughed, “Yea that’s the little birdy doll. Why don’t you get some sleep?” I looked back down at her.

She opened up one eye and looked into mine, “Thank ya Yucky..I knew I loved you for a reason…you’ll….take care…of me…” she mumbled out while she closed her eye and I felt her body relax into a sleep.

Did she say she loved me?

Back to present day Y/N pov

I finished hooking up his body cam to him. “There all done Buck.”

“Thanks doll. Always takin’ care of me.”  He winked at me.

I squinted at him, “As far as I know, it’s you taking care of me doll.” I winked back.

“Hey that’s my nickname for ya.” He laughed back.

He kissed the top of my head and got up and put his gun’s in holsters and knifes in his back.

Maria and Sam came in the room, Bucky turned to look at them, “You guys ready?”

They both nodded at him, “Be careful you guys. Please. I’ll let ya know if I see anything sketchy from the cameras at the warehouse. I’ll hack into those.”

“Thanks Sparky. Keep that couch warm for me eh?” Sam joked back.

I rolled my eyes as he came over and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Will do my little birdy.” I said as him and Maria walked into the kitchen to go out the back door.

“Little birdy?” Bucky whispered to himself. “You only called Sam that one other time. And you were doped up on morphine.”

“Yea I know. I remember. I wasn’t passed out yet.” I looked up at him.

“So uh what else do you remember?” he asked.

I felt my face get hot. Should I say it again? What if he doesn’t feel that way yet. I don’t want to scare him off. “Everything. Shouldn’t you be goin’ Sarg?” I asked him.

He smiled back, “Yea I should. Well if it’s any consolation, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t love you too.” And with that he turned on his heel and went out the door before I could say anything back.

Gramps comes in from the kitchen with a try of two mugs of hot tea. “Well this is going to be a long night. Move over I want to watch to.”

I scooted over as much as I could and he sat down next to me and put the tea on the coffee table.

“Should you be in bed Gramps? It’s way past your bedtime.” I laughed.

“Hey. Just because I’m retired doesn’t mean I don’t want to watch. Makes me feel involved.” He said as he brought his mug up to his lips.

I grabbed a crutch and tried to itch the bottom of my right foot. I let out a huff in defeat. “Hey Gramps could you itch my foot. I can’t reach.”

He scrunched up his nose, “But…your feet smell sweety.”

This is going to be a long night.

[esmiblood90irisglimmer]

You Were My Wife Too (Hamilton fanfic)

A continuing series of  Alexander Hamilton Single Father AU. Let's get started shall we

Everything has been going quite for the past ten years for the single father, Alexander Hamilton. Ever since the night since he and his wife separated leaving him raising eight kids alone. Tough luck at work, living off with paychecks to paychecks it was a good amount, but having to raise children isn’t cheap to bring food on the table. Not to mention with the rent bill, car payment, phone bill, and etc. Having to get two more jobs until suddenly when Alexander received a phone call from his brother who believes perish from an illness. After James and Alexander were finally reunited on the Caribbean Island of Nevis. Packing basically all the clothes and necessary accessories before returning back to his homeland. Took about 4 or 5 years when living back in Nevis in order to get back on their feet. Luckily, all those pay off and now the Hamilton brothers were returning back to New York City. 

Soon another 5 years later is when Philip, Angelica, AJ, and James were finally graduating high school. And decided to take a year break from school in order to help with their father. Even though he wanted them to go straight to college after summer vacation but gracefully accepted their help. Since with the bakery becoming busier and not to mention expanding/ remodeling it. Due to the old shops shut down and with him buying both of them. It would be nice for business in order to receive more money. Not only that but also saving bits by bits in order to send his younger set of quadruplets to college as well. So far everything was good as the summer was ending with the school year on its way back. John, Williams, Eliza, and PJ are now entering their junior years filled with excitement into seeing their old friends at school. Also having another year left to becoming seniors and graduating from high school. As that time come for the younger quadruplet head back to school. 

Meanwhile, the first set of the quadruplet is helping Alexander with the design and what to add on the new menu. It’s was a lot of work not to going lied, since not only the walls that separate the former shops. Into combing toward one huge ass bakery. Over six months have passed on with the remodeling complete new designs chairs, tables, booths, the kitchen expanded, also the countertop as well. Even going as well as setting up a display glass of old and new pastries treats. The reopening was a huge success which leads to not a 100, not 200, not even 300!!. Turns out to be almost 900 or more customers have arrived at the re-grand opening. It was so busy than what the single father, his children, and employee have expected. 

This lasted about more six hours than anyone could’ve ever expected which brought everyone down to their knees. Philip, his siblings, and follow co-worker were exhausted to the bones. They just drop to the ground to the ground, literally. From the early morning of 9 a.m. toward almost 3:30 p.m. The single father/owner was exhausted as well but decided to bake a grand marble cake for his teams. He couldn’t be even more proud of his teams and in order to celebrate their hard work. They have been his ride or die crew since the beginning of opening his bakery. By the time since the customer died down and having to be empty for an hour. The younger quadruplet joins in the fun while eating the cake as well. Everything was going well, Alexander has re-open his bakery business, the first quadruplet finally graduating from high school. About to head to college after a year and soon his second quadruplet will reach their senior year. 

Yea, everything was going extremely well until tonight as Alexander and his children were eating dinner. The deliciousness of McDonald's of their tasty fries and McNuggets. Suddenly a knock at the door which the father proceeds to open while the late teens continuing eating. 

“What are you doing here?” the single father barked

The eight teens froze and head over who was at the door since knowing their father only use that tone if he’s angry. This was beyond of anger or frustration they ever since seeing the fiery flames in Hamilton’s eyes. Gulping nervously before seeing that in front of their father. It was...their mother...Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton... who left them alone in the middle of the night. Not bothering to wait till her ex-husband came late from work. Which lead not only a divorce but also a short custody battle since she shown with neither of those things. Philip, on the verge of a panic attack just cling onto Angelica. The two oldest siblings were always close since the beginning of their life. They just couldn’t understand why their mother...their own...flesh and blooded...didn’t want them. Now all of sudden she is out of all places. Not to mention she is with her new wife!! And a five-year-old little girl who’s is just waving at them as if it’s a happy family reunion. 

“Alexander...please....hear me out” Elizabeth pleaded

“There’s nothing to hear, Eliza!!” Alexander shouted 

“I know. I mess up...but Susan....she’s the kids' sister...they deserve to meet each other” 

As the eight teenagers watch their father seeing the little oblivious to the intention that was filling in the air. That beautiful girl just smiles with a burst of innocent laughter at the Caribbean immigrant. The conflict appears in his dark brown eyes which lasted about thirty seconds but felt like hours. The single father relents let the two mothers and daughter inside the apartment. No words were spoken at all until the adults were sitting in the living room. Philip and the others just stood behind Alexander. None of them wanted to breathe or say at least a word. Just waiting for anyone to speak luckily someone did. 

“Eliza, why now for your daughter to finally meet Philip and the others?” Alexander question

“M...Maria and I thought it was time for Susan to know who’s her siblings are. She kept looking pictures of the kids. And I couldn’t keep lying anymore”

“That’s all?”

“No, there’s more,” said Maria

Alexander and the children looked at the mysterious and beautiful woman who was holding hands with Eliza. The Dutch lady looks down while biting her lower lip. This doesn’t look like a good sign. What’s more, is there? She and her new wife already got permission for the teenagers to see their new little sister. Hopefully, it’s just a small money problem which the immigrant can happily give to them. Alexander may be angry at his ex-wife and her wife but is not a monster. A couple hundreds of dollars from here and there since his mother has been in their shoes before. Sometimes to relied on friends and family for money which is hard and embarrassing. He doesn’t want them to struggle with money and is willing to help out and perhaps reconcile and move on from the past. 

Taking a deep breath, whatever the situation is Alexander willing to let them at the apartment for a couple of weeks. Maybe even months to get back on their feet. Perhaps he could even give them a part-time job at the bakery. Helping two mothers with their little girl could probably bring the family together once again. 

“Whatever you need,  I’ll be able to help you out,” said Alexander

“We’re wondering if we can have legal full custody of the younger quadruplets” Maria stated 

This cause Alexander to immediately to spit out of the coffee he was suddenly drinking. John, Williams, Eliza, PJ instantly race toward their father and practically begging him not to take away from. Out of all the things that Eliza or Maria could have to ask for, money, clothes, a place to stay, or even a job. That’s fine with him, but taking his darling children is another thing. For the past ten years, Alexander Hamilton has been through thick and thin for those kids since the beginning of their ten years journey. He worked three jobs in New York before returning to the Caribbeans. Taking not a waiter job that barely pays the minimum wage but also did underground boxing matches. He could’ve gone either jail or worse even prison where his children could’ve been taken away from him. Being placed on the foster household. Despite James, being his older brother but that wouldn’t matter since he isn’t a resident for the States. 

What did Eliza do ever since the divorce was going the process and finalize? Nothing, never having interaction with the kids for the past ten years. She didn’t even bother to write them letters, send them birthday, or even bother giving them a single phone call. Now, she wants to take part of his pride and joy away from him. What makes her or Maria to ever think it was alright to take the younger quadruplet away from his grasp? Over his damn dead body, he left them to take away from him. 

“What makes you think that you can walk in here? My apartment, and say...”Oh, can we take John, Williams, Eliza, PJ away from you? So they can live with us?” As if, I’m letting you take my kids away. You both didn’t even contact in any sort of way during the past ten years? Now all of sudden, you wanted to raise your kids that you toss aside as if they were garbage never even looking back!!!!” Alexander spatted 

“Look, I know this may seem out of nowhere, but please understand. Susan needs her older siblings to be there with her. It may be too late to have a relation with Philip, Angelica, AJ, and James but we hope it’s not too late with the younger quadruplet. We wanted to create a family of our own” Maria replied 

“Well, how about finishing the one you started first, Eliza.!!!” Philip shouted 

“Hey!!! Don’t you yell at your mo...”

“Shut up, Maria!!!!” Alexander interrupted Maria while booming his voice quite loudly. The teens were in shock of hearing their father shouting like that. Of course, he yells at them and strangers but not in this tone before. Everything went quiet while Susan rushes toward her mother on the verge of tears in silent. The glare he gave to those women was the deadliest glare those kids have ever seen. If looks can kill then Alexander Hamilton might as well set up the whole earth on fire. But that didn't compare to when he was staring at Eliza with such intense glare while Philip and Angelica got in the middle of them. Afraid that one of the adults might do something that they’ll regret.  

“This isn’t even about you. This is it about you, Elizabeth” Alexander bluntly spoke. Grabbing multiple pictures he hid in the coffee table drawers before slamming down in front of Eliza.

“This is what about I did as a single father for the past decade. Philip, he became Valedictorian of 2019 and got accepted into Havard. Angelica becomes the first female at school to become Student President but also saving a dying baby by donating blood. AJ decided that he’s not going instead got accepted into the Marines to serve for our family and our country. James not only got accepted four Ivy lead universities and is majoring in Psychology and is on the national honor society. John is slowly not only the first one in the family going to university but is graduating from Baylor at the age of 17 while majoring in computer science. Williams won multiple dirt bike races since the age of 14, not only that winning states champion but also national as well. Eliza got the lead role in a well known Broadway shows not to mention focusing her future career of becoming a forensic scientist. PJ, my youngest child, who is now at the top of his class for 2020 but got a scholarship for a well-known culinary school in order to take the family bakery once I died. THEY BECAME SUCCESSFUL AND THEY DID IT THROUGH ALL THE HARDSHIP!!! I DID A FUCKING GREAT JOB NO THANK TO YOU CAUSE YOU WEREN’T THERE FOR THEM!!!” 

Eliza let out a sobbing gasp while Alexander explains all the success her children did without her. They made it their missions in order to be successful just not to make themselves proud for what they did. Also, in order to show Alexander, the best father that anyone could ask for to show all sort of appreciation. All the shit he through with the gossiping and being toss around left and right. That didn’t stop him from being the father that all not even damn depression even it’s kill him. Luckily, James and AJ took their baby sister outside to play before their father long rant. Believing it wasn’t the best idea for Susan to witness arguing with a strange man that she doesn’t know is her stepfather. Just being an innocent five years old who has nothing to do with the family drama that is spinal down as we speak. 

Wiping the tears away as Eliza knew that her ex-husband was right. At the beginning after leaving her ex and children behind with just a single note. Never explaining why she just drop and go with the wind. As if she never existed in the first, but how do you explain having an affair while being married. Not to mention, thinking about how would the children react to how their mommy is kissing another woman and not Daddy. How do you explain that to a child that was barely 9 and 6 years old at the time? But, doesn’t excuse her bullshit not wanting to call Alexander so she and he can see when they can children on which week. What time to pick them up, and where should get the kids every other week. Though she did none of this at all, no letters, no calls, and no nothing at all. Trying not to go full-on meltdown while taking a few deep breaths while replying toward Alexander rant of their children succeed. 

“I appreciate it and I mean every word, Alexander. I apologize for everything and the pain that I cause for you and the kids. I know that it’s too late for me to have a bond with Philip and the others. But I hope that I can be a perfect mother for John, Williams, Eliza, and PJ. I still have some time off for them to be their mother” Eliza responded

“They don’t even know you!!”

“I’m their mother!!!”

“YOU WERE MY WIFE TOO!!!!” 

Eliza stood in shock and frozen by Alexander statement watching those teardrops falling out of his eyes. He’s right. She was his wife as well, before eloping with Maria. Years later, they’re married and finally got a chance to have a daughter with her wife. Yet, never thought of any of the consequences which lead Alexander going through hardship with their kids. Assuming that they be better without her in their lives. Didn’t think twice of what her actions may cause for her ex-husband and the children as well. Philip, Angelica, Alexander Jr, James, John, Williams, Eliza, and PJ were only 9 and 6 years old. At a young age when they needed their mother the most. As any young kids, they’ll be confused, scared, and wondering if this is their fault. Sometimes convincing themselves that their mom just went a long trip for work and would be coming back home. Despite knowing the fact that she isn’t coming back never again. 

Looking at her children who couldn’t bear to stare at her in the eyes for more than a millisecond. Trying reach toward her younger quadruplet hoping they can forgive her. Instead, they back away and rush toward their father while shaking in fear. They were scared of being taken away from the only parental figure they have ever known for their entire childhood. Could she really do that to them, to Alexander? Looking at Maria while giving a somewhat telepathy agreement. Perhaps, it’s better to let all eight teenagers stay with their father. Susan rushed toward before jumping into Maria's arms with pure joy and happiness. 

“Alright,...I understand. We’ll leave....”Eliza stated

“Good, now get out” Alexander spatted venomously

Gathering everything they needed before exiting out of the apartment before Hamilton slam the door. Dropping down onto his knees trying to keep himself from breaking down. Thousands of weights have been lifted off their shoulders and pray to God their peace can come over with the family again.

Thank you  for reading it and hope you all enjoy it

[dailyaudiobible]

11/16/2017 DAB Transcript

Ezekiel 33:1-34:31, Hebrews 13:1-25, Psalm 115:1-18, Proverbs 27:21-22

Today is the 16th day of November. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian, it is great to be here with you. And here we are, pretty much smack in the middle of the 11th month, which only leaves us a month and half left in the year 2017, if you can believe it. And we’re going to cover a lot of ground in that six weeks. When we get to the New Testament reading today we will conclude the book of Hebrews. But first, Ezekiel chapter 33 verse 1 through 34 verse 31. We’re reading from the Common English Bible this week.

Commentary:

Alight. So, we concluded the book of Hebrews today. And it’s conclusion, we had begun yesterday, with kind of postures up for our lives that continued today like: keep loving each other like family, don't neglect to open your homes to guests, you don't know who is coming in, you might even be entertaining an angel, remember those who have been imprisoned, remember them like you were in prison with them, and look at those who are being mistreated as if you were in their place, honor your marriage, adultery is going to take you nowhere, and you should be free from the love of money, and you should be content with what you have. And then Hebrews tells us what we have, the promise - I will never leave you or abandon you, which is far more valuable than currency. And then we’re told to remember though those who brought the good news to us in the first place and imitate their faith. And all of these things still apply to us today. And then finally we’re told not to be misled by the many strange teachings out there. And this is interesting because if we just look at our lives in the world today, we can say, yea, there’s all sorts of people saying all kinds of things out there. But where the writer of Hebrews goes is completely Hebrew. The writer of Hebrews is saying, don't be misled by many strange teachings out there and then moves back toward the Jewish traditions, essentially saying that Jesus is the next step in the same story. And they do this by talking about an altar, and how, when a sacrifice is given, the high priest will take the blood in as an atonement for sin but the body of the animal be taken outside the camp and burned. And then showing how Jesus was taken outside the city walls and crucified. And then tells us, so, let's go to him, outside the camp, bearing his shame. And we should remember this because all of the noise of all of our religious practices and rituals aren’t actually the things that get us anywhere. And sometimes we remember, we have to go outside the camp, bearing his shame in getting back to the core essentials of our relationship with Christ. And the writer of Hebrews counsel in this is, that we go outside the camp and continue to bear His shame and continually offer up a sacrifice of praise through Him, which is the fruit from our lips that confess His name. And may we remember this as we conclude our reading from the book of Hebrews this year. God has done a new thing through Jesus. A new covenant has been instituted, one that allows us to personally go into the holy of holies, to personally collaborate and have a relationship with God in our lives, a relationship that is built upon faith and hope in what we can't see what we know is there. And may we hold on to the final words in the book of Hebrews, ‘may Grace be with all of you’. And may we not only read it as the conclusion of a letter but may we understand what's being said, ‘may grace be with all of you’.

Prayer:

Father, we confess that without Your mercy and grace in our lives there is literally no telling where we would be. Were it not for Your kindness and Your sacrifice and a new covenant, we could never come into Your presence righteous and holy. And now there is no where we can flee from Your presence, nor would we want to. Come Holy Spirit, indwell us, fill us, guide us, lead us into all truth, rebuke, and correct us, and lead us on the narrow path that leads to life. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website. It’s home base. It’s where you find out what's going on around here.

Looking at the calendar, I’ve been saying this for a few days, a couple days from now, on the 19th, this Sunday we will be out on the road sharing the Sneezing Jesus message one final time this year and that will be in the Shreveport Louisiana area, Bossier City at River Valley church. So, if you are in the deep South, we would love to see you. Come say hello. You can get all the details at dailyaudiobible.com in the events section. And we’ll look forward to that.

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And as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayers and Praise Reports

Hi guys. It’s June at Perseverance in Indonesia. I wanted to first say thank you to Shannon and Mellissa, I think, that I just heard on the November 11th call. Thank you for praying for teachers as well as be a reminder to go into the workplace ready for spiritual warfare and ready to conquer. So, that’s what I am going to pray for today. Heavenly Father, thank You so much for the opportunity to work and to go out on the mission field to glorify You, not in our own strength but by being the witnesses who can say, that’s a amazing and that’s because of God or this is a miracle and it’s only through God that it happened. Please help us to keep our eyes on that and to take them off of ourselves and the pain or the challenge that comes with being in spiritual warfare and help us to see it, to recognize it for what it is, and to turn to You and say, this is Yours, be glorified through it, and I know you will deliver me in it. In the name of Jesus, I pray for continued strength from You as each teacher who is a believer in You goes into the classroom. I ask that you will fully equip us, that we will fully surrender to You so that You can grow Your fruit of the Spirit in us and we can be empowered in those places that are broken and that are at a loss and all of the toxic and negative aspects of these…

Hi. This is Mermaid Girl South Carolina. I'm a long time listener but first time caller. Lately I have, for many and various reasons, kind of lost my joy. I’ve been diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, which has caused me to gain weight and be depressed. I really am coveting your prayers that I will back the Lord, find His joy, find His and happiness, and handle all of my illnesses. I listen to you all pray for you all and I thank you very much. Love you. Bye-bye.

Hi. This is Lisa from Southern California. I'm new to the Daily Audio Bible but I want to say hello to all of the Daily Audio Bible family. I just want to say that you guys have encouraged me. I’ve been listening ever since the end of August and I've been encouraged by the Bible reading and the commentary, the prayers, and I want to thank the lady who called on November the 12th and was talking about our jobs and how we’re on assignment on our jobs. And it’s been pretty rough for me at my job and I was, you know, just really seeking the Lord on what I should do. It was a very hostile environment, but I began, one of the Daily Audio Bible programs told me to pray for my management and pray for my supervisor. And I began to do that and I’m seeing right now, the hand of God move at my job. So, I just want to say thank you all. I will continue to pray for all of you. I listen to you in the morning before I go to work and even when I'm on my off days. You guys are so much of an encouragement to me. Again, this is Lisa from Southern California. God bless you all. God bless you Brian. Have a wonderful day.

Hi beautiful family. This is Pastor Gene from Bradenton Florida. I would like us to lift in prayer, Pastor P.,  his wife, and that family. This is the pastoral family that suffered the attacks a few weeks ago, or maybe a couple of weeks ago, or last week, I don’t know where my mind is, the church in Texas, this happened while he was preaching. And, so, let’s just pray. Father, we just thank You for we are members of the same body and when one member is hurting all of us hurt. And Father I just want to lift up Pastor Paul P., his wife, his family. They lost, not only members of the congregation, but they lost their own 14-year-old daughter to that madman and I pray Father that Your comfort, Your peace, Your strength, Your courage will be with him and will be with every member of that congregation and every person that lost someone in that congregation. Like to quiet the voice of the enemy that is telling them that it is not worth it to follow God, that it’s not worth it to remain faithful because of what happened. I rebuke that in the name of Jesus. I thank You for the strength that You are giving Pastor P. to give glory to God, to point people God in the midst of this tragedy. And I pray that You will continue to use him and other voices that will come out of that tragedy and would testify of Your goodness and Your kindness. In the midst of the unthinkable tragedy, may what has happened, somehow, turn around and bring glory to Your name as You have promised and work for the good of those who love You as You have promised, Lord. We pray all this in Jesus’ name. I love you family. Pastor gene from Bradenton Florida. Bye.

[strawberryspeachy]

Pretty sure I wrote on here how I walk on eggshells around my grandfather and I kinda started feeling bad about not trusting him lately cause he’s been being nice to me

Well like. I still did. But after basically cleaning and barn mixed with what would top the hoarders tv show... finally thinking for the first time in my life I could relax... a couple months later followed by that rug I’ve been fearing being ripped out from under me... in fact being ripped out from under me

I had my first emotionally loud panic attack yesterday. Promptly followed by being told that he doesn’t care if I have any place to leave and telling me that I’m crap.

And yeah. See. That’s exactly why that feeling has never gone away.

I remember one time after college I don’t remember what was happening but I was upset and he was mad at me and I think I flinched or something and he screamed at me “what have I ever done to you?! I’ve never hit you!” And he’s right. He’s never hit. Threatened to? Yes. Grabbed his belt and stormed over at me? Yea. Actually hit me? No.

It’s annoying that that’s the qualifier of abuse. Being hit.

I’ve already bitched about how psychologically my family’s fucked me up. How every time something new happens it teaches me why I react to other things a certain messed up way based on how I was treated in the past. It sucks. It sucked. And it will forever continue to suck.

I bitch on here super long posts because they just go into my endless blog somewhere on the internet. Instead of 100 page document taking up memory on my computer. In attempt to not bother my friends with it. Which I haven’t entirely done this time. I reached out to my friends for help. Instead of that 2 of them are no longer my friends and the rest ignore me.

I can’t kill myself. Nothing painless works. I don’t have the means for the for sure methods. As in like they require a perscription or the perfect weather. Or a contraption that doesn’t exist because. You’re allowed to be homeless. You’re allowed to starve if it’s because you can’t afford food. You’re allowed to be poisoned by chemicals rich companies produce. You’re allowed to suffer. You’re allowed to suffer so much that you die. But don’t you dare pull the trigger yourself. Don’t you dare make something that helps people escape. That’s immoral. That’s instigating. That’s against the law.

The internet is still flipping the fuck out because a tv show implied you’re actions might negatively affect someone’s mind so much that they kill themself. And at the same time mad that a tv show showed the life of a suicide because ill instigate others??? How can you fight with both : don’t blame bullying for suicide./ don’t talk about suicide or else it’ll cause suicide.

I’m all over the place here. It’s whatever. My page is probably gonna be taken down cause tumblrs censoring shit and there’s ppl on YouTube bitching about the same shit as above. Like holly fuck. When ppl say ppl are triggered by everything these days it’s normally about how they can’t tell jokes about different races or gays or whatever else they feel superior to. But like ugh. It is kinda true. God forbid you put your opinion on the internet. Not even on someone’s page. Just there. Just somewhere ppl can find it. Someone disagrees and doesn’t like that it’s there.

Anyway.

Every time bs happens with my family I start to wonder what I would be like if I weren’t brought up in such a toxic environment.

In the past year or so I wonder how my brain has changed when I get mad at someone because. My mother has a nasty habit of getting mad at someone and then attack them personally. Say you knocked her drink over or something. She won’t just get mad that you knocked her drink over and be like what the heck I rlly wanted that - can you get me a new one. No. She’ll tell you how you’re always the most inconsiderate person ever. SHE HATES YOU. YOU RUIN HER LIFE! You fucking bitch what the hell is wrong with you?! Why do you WANT to make her miserable?!?

For YEARS I’ve been getting mad and pointing out. It doesn’t matter if you upset about something. Be upset. Say something. But stop attacking people on a personal level every time you get mad.

A fucking year ago my mom (grandmom) was still doing okish. A year ago I was the only one taking care of my mom and really even giving a fuck..... complaint for another post.

But my mom was destroying the house. She was collecting trash. And breaking things and stealing stuff. It’s what ppl with dementia do. And it got super freaking frustrating to say the least. My mother instead of being like. You’re ripped up my sandwitch. Not cool! ——— instead would scream the same things I wrote above at my mom and tell her how she was the worst parent ever and how she’s always been doing these things to ruin her life and how she’s so stupid for every decision she’s ever made ect ect ect

Keep in mind. My mom had 3 kids who she took care of. Maybe not the best parent. But a good and loving parent. And then she took care of me becauseeeee my mother decided I was only good as a get out of jail card and opted to be a coke addict hanging out with actual criminals till I was ending high school.

So many times I told her she needs to stop talking to mom like that. She needs to stop talking to me like what. How would she feel if every time someone got mad at her they called her a fucking bitch and brought up everything that’s ever bugged them about her and called her scum for it. She swore ppl already did that. So I started doing it to her. For the first few months she just got extra mad. Even though I pointed out that’s exactly what she always did to us. Isn’t this worse than just being upset about something.

Did she change. No. She just doubled down on it. And now I just react to her in the same way she treats me.

How this started is lost on everyone in my family. It’s just more “she she’s exactly like her mother” cause even though I was a super good kid. I was always just like my mother to the rest of my family.

And to pull this back. I don’t rlly get to see anyone. I’m stuck here. I have no money. Basically no friends. Nothing. And I’ve begun to wonder. When I think about ppl when I’m upset with them. Has just this year of personally attacking someone to match their tone taken its toll on how I react?

It honestly doesn’t even matter at this point. I feel like I should realize that lonely kid I was making up things to play in the backyard is all I’ll ever be. Those dreams of actually being part of something. Having ppl who care about me for me. That’s not gonna happen.

I was looking for a recipe I sent my aunt in the beginning of college. I found it in our fb messages but not before scrolling through the copy pastes from that demon roommate I had that year.... I consciously was nothing but nice to that girl. I talked to her when she talked to me and didn’t intrude on her when she didn’t talk to me. I was positive. I invited her when I went places. I introduced her to the ppl I talked to. I didn’t say anything when she broke my stuff or woke me up or had her bf and sister over every weekend. ONE TIME while I’m sleeping and she starts having sex in the bunk above me for the 4th time I say outloud pls stop... then follow that up later alone with an apology and tell her to just ask me to give her private time. She she committed herself to trying to turn all my friends against me. Getting my crush to stop talking to me. Turning my entire floor against me. Telling my ra that I made her uncomfortable to be in the room and yelled at her and several other things I’ve repressed from that convo with my ra while I was in shock that she said so many mean things about me and I never even knew she hated me. Wondering what did I do? I guess I heard it in the ways that she complained that I looked good in jeans. I guess I heard it in the way she got mad that her bf wanted to watch the tv show I head headphones in for and asked if I could take them out so he could watch too when she wanted him to do something. I guess it was in the way that when she met my friends she immediately spoke in just Korean till they asked her to speak in English since I couldn’t understand. I guess i should have known when she got mad at me for not being as resentful toward my family as she was toward hers at the time. I guess I should have known when she would look at me sometimes and I’d wonder why the look felt like she hated me. Cause she did. I’m dumb and didn’t know and I continued trying so hard to be overly nice and considerate toward someone who wasn’t satisfied targeting the ppl around me. But instead wanted everyone on fb to know how absolutely terrible and awful I was.

And I still hate her. And she’s in the back of my mind every time I think about what happens when I’m nice. But reading those. It hurt all over again.