#but ya kno. that's how grief be sometimes

[radioactivedadbod]

On one hand I understand people being like 'Why didn't Peter B. ever react to Gwen being, ya kno, Gwen.'

But on the other

It's probably been like 20 years for him at this point he has grieved and moved on

[chemicalcarousel]

questions taken from this post

just answering all of these for myself because i can and i don't wanna wait for potential asks

Hi! Who are you right now?

I'm Levi ✌

How do know its you thats out? What are your usual cues?

Uhh good fucking question. i feel like a guy ig (dysphoria). and i have very strong feelings of justice and i get very pissed when ppl aren't treated right (im super vengeful). i also dissociate a lot when im confronted with my source and i think my voice is lower and im less "all over the place" than some of the other alters? i'm more "relaxed" ig, even if my emotions can get very strong and bordering black/white

Do you like it when people know its You and not the collective whole? Is it situational, or depends on the person?

It's complicated. i feel very exposed and i'm nervous what other people will think of me since i'm a fictional introject of a very popular anime character. i'm also worrying about which impression we as a collective have on the people around us, and if they know we are a DID system and which alters we got, then they might treat us in some weird fucking way (and let's be honest - that's the reality of it) but on the other hand, i feel so lonely and invisible when i'm talking to my friends and they don't know that i even exist, ya kno? i'd wish i could be myself around my friends and i'm still trying to find out if that is possible

What sort of aesthetics do you draw to?

i guess darker ones? like black and red. i like grunge and punk too. i also fuck with traumacore, again especially black/white and red shit. angry shit. im an edgy little man

What do you look like?

pretty much like my source, i just wear different clothes ig here's some pics xoxo

What sort of emotions do you feel mostly when you’re out?

anger, grief, vengefulness, idk man i'm ready to punch a bitch lol

What sort of situations are you out in most of the time?

I'm a host, but other than that i'm always the one going to sleep and i am the one that doesn't hate ourselves ig. i'm not gonna blame us for what other people did or do to us, ya kno. i'm a protector

Are there other parts like you in the same system?

we have another introject of the same character, but he's nothing like me or our source. so no, i think i'm the only alter like me in this body?

Are you part of a subsystem?

no, i don't think we have subsystems

What’s your relationship like to the parts nearest to you right now?

idk, kinda like roommates or "found family"? i'm not sure who's close rn tho, but i'm chill with all the alters i know

Do you have vague memories of before you came out, or do they feel blocked out?

i have no idea what this means. i think it means before i fronted and yeah we kinda have a "shared consciousness", but sometimes i realise i don't have all the pieces of what happened, but it's mostly greyouts and emotional amnesia

What’s your favorite way to ground?

nature, fidget toys, drinking something tasty

Do you have a favorite snack or drink?

idk i love coffee ig. i like food in general lol

Do you have a favorite item in the present world?

hmm... can't think of one item, but i have some clothing and other stuff that i like. i love flannel shirts and i love pretty teacups

Do you have an inner world? Do you have a place you like in there?

nah, not really. it's just a black void. we haven't been able to construct one and nothing has seemed to pop up yet

Whats a simple way other parts might describe you to like a therapist or something?(they’re the fierce one, the sad one, ect)

the angry/vengeful one/the fight response one

What’s the safest thing you can imagine right now?

so pathetic, but ig that's a part of why i was created. but the safest thing i can imagine is the guy i see as my soulmate (erwin), but he's a fucking anime character from my source and has never and will never be real. but he's such a comfort for me and thereby the entire system. i just wish he was actually real lol i definitely haven't cried myself to sleep because he's a drawing ahahaha :')

What’s something you wish the system would do more of?

stand up for ourselves. but i do understand why other parts don't do this and i don't blame them. i'd just wish they didn't feel this fear and shame

What’s your handwriting like?

idk ugly? i think all of us have an ugly handwriting lmfao

Free space! Tell me a random fact about you or something you’re thinking about

uhh rn im dissociating bc we are opening up to a friend about our DID and it's making all of us nervous, so that's what's in my thoughts. a random fact could be that i fucking love making fun of my source and i love making fans mad lmfao

[obraveyouth]

link knew when to be silent, he was very much used to being a bit of a reticent and purposefully taciturn. but, with sheik he wanted to speak as if he’d grown up around him. when link spoke with the other members of his village, he was simply link: no accent. no fated hero destiny. no decade long twilight consuming obsession. it was truly, comforting and he wouldn’t take advantage of this feeling at all. it was why he drunk in anything sheik said with genuine earnest. plus, link’s own parental figures weren’t the hottest topic of discussion; so just from the way sheik’s words seemed to roll off his lips, he could assume it was the same for him.

but, sometimes, link had learned. the most needed of conversations where the ones that you needed to have but notones you always wanted to say.

❛  ion thank your hair betrays ya, morelike lettin’ da world kno’ who ya are. an unconventional hair color for an unconventional sheikah, am i right? ❜ hell, if nobody else then link thought sheik’s hair was very pretty, fitting even. he couldn’t imagine sheik with hair any lighter than he already had, the off-white blond was beautiful: whether he be in the physiognomy of a man or grimalkin feline. 

❛  though we’ve got dat in common. easy ta see i ain’t fully ordonian or hylian.❜ link was tall, had a richer complexion than anyone else in his village ( working on a ranch all day only made the specs of melanin in his skin take on an even deeper hue ): but at least knew both his parents, even if neither still walked with him on the earth, he had known them for a full thirteen years. enough time to make memories, know their love and hate. it was better than the lather, it was better than never having the opportunity at all. ❛  we moved ta dis village when i was but a tot, so ion hav’ no memories ‘fore ordon but dis place always gonna be home. i donno what my mum was ‘pecifically but she’s jus tell me dat she descend from a people dat used to live near da dessert, she had the prettiest shade of red hair too, really bright, kinda like yours but ina notha hue. ❜ 

and why stop there, link never got to talk about his parents. while, not terrible ( everyone assumed he’d get sad ): but it had been fourteen years since then. sure, it had been terrible when he was still young but he’d seen far worse things than a peaceful death amongst loved ones on his quest: there where far more terrible things to experience than the natural cycle of life. ❛ her skin was darker than anyone else i’d seen before too—till i met telma anyways—she looked like she could be a cousin or sumin’ to my mum. ❜ 

his face turned a bit grim as he pushed through the last of the tale of his heritage. ❛ i learned from telma that darkskin, red hair, and height where the characteristics of having gerudo in ya blood—my mum was nearly a whole foot talla than my pops—far as i know he was jus’ hylian—but ( would it have even mattered if link said this, he’d already come so far in accepting this realization years ago ): wasn’t the most freein’, killin’ ganondorf, former king of the gerudo. ❜ to link, it had almost been like killing a piece of his mom, a piece of his culture he’d never get back. just serving as another wedge in reminding him that he wasn’t allowed a life of being average, of simply existing: that he was simply born with tragedy in his blood.

but they’ve both grown dark expressions. talk of parents—no matter how much time had passed—still could cause the pain to weigh heavy on the heart. the feeling of loss and grief was a wound time could not ever truly heal, link knew this far too well ( his actions for the past decade served as the biggest testimony ): with time, it could made the pain lessen, old wounds would cover with scar tissue but the memory of how it ached, how one could suffer would never truly vanish. nonetheless, he reached for another knife from his block and moved to stand beside sheik at his far-too-small-for-two cutting board. ❛ thanks for sharin’ and listenin’. sorry if i made ya upset again. ❜ every time link opened his mouth he seemed to say something just so unbecoming. he was either uninterested or too interested, how mind-boggling was it for him to be equally not enough and far too much all at once. 

after finishing chopping and dicing up the various veggies, link goes to retrieve some meat from his underneath the floorboard storage. ❛  all da meat ‘ve is goat or cucco. ❜ the umami fragrance of whatever sheik was cooking hit is nose and made his mouth water, it was the only thing he could smell out of everything else in his home. such strong flavors he thought as such a delight would soon be on his tastebuds and it made the hero of twilight hymn in glee. ❛  what’s sirfry anyways? sheikh’s specialty? ❜ he hopes by asking, he can change the aloof mood could change back into the comforts of before.

   He already knew just from looking around this morning that Link had quite the stock of food, and it didn’t surprise him. Given what he observed from the other, Link was clearly some sort of farmer and rancher. He knew what the Hero of Time was like, what he seemed to get joy from, and though he certainly doesn’t believe that Link got his love and life for all of this from the Hero of Time, he certainly seemed to have–just a lot in common. For instance, if the Hero of Time was actually raised and loved as a Hylian? He can see this being the type of life that he lived. But the Hero of Time didn’t get that chance, and instead was raised as a Kokiri.

   Sheik would need a map of this Hyrule to truly compare, but from what he saw and remembers, he does believe at least in part that Orodon Village was close to where he remembers Kokiri Forest being. However, he also doesn’t feel the presence of the Great Deku Tree here. He’s sure the Great Deku Tree was somewhere over in Faron Woods, but proving that would mean heading over there and currently Sheik doesn’t believe he can or should go very far without the current Hero. Not only does he not know what effects being revived will have on him, but Link also still had need of him and he’s unfamiliar with this Hyrule. Running around without help was bound to get him in trouble. 

   He would rather not make more problems for Link, so staying out of the way and quiet was definitely for the best. Thankfully, those are two things he’s been conditioned to be good at.

   Link seems to be done showing his kitchen stock off to him and Sheik still doesn’t know what he’s going to cook. Pumpkin is best slow cooked to soften it up, he could certainly do that tomorrow. For now, something quick and simple was probably in his best interest. Since he made a stew this morning, he could make stir-fry with some rice. That wouldn’t take him too long and would make the best use out of all the vegetables that the Hero has around. As long as Link has some meat he can add to cook down with it. Otherwise, it would just be a vegetable stir-fry. 

   “There’s nothing wrong with having something you’re passionate about.” Sheik answered him first, making his way over toward the counter to start getting out the things he wanted to add to the stir-fry. There were plenty of ingredients for sure, and certainly enough spices that he could find everything he needed. Though despite all of that, it doesn’t appear that Link cooks himself that much. Though he did say he was never properly taught, what does he eat usually then? 

   The question seems rather rude to ask so he keeps his mouth shut instead and focuses on the ingredients on the counter. He does still listen as Link talks, finding a few things to use to cook in as well as a knife to cut the food with. He checked the sharpness of it and made a rather pleasant sound at the blade itself. He might not cook but he keeps up with the tools to do so at the very least. Which would make this easier on him.

   “Impa never told me much about my father, she didn’t want him to have any part in raising me.” Sheik returns the information, setting the knife on the side as he focuses on peeling an opinion. “As the color of my hair betrays me in probably telling you, he was a Hylian. A soldier at the Castle when she was young. That’s about all she told me though.” The rest, what happened with him and Impa, Link has more or less gotten in their conversation. But he can give him a little bit more. It doesn’t hurt to talk about her, and the Sheikah’s history is well documented at this point.

   “Impa is–was the last surviving member of our Tribe, after the King and his soldiers slaughtered the Sheikah claiming treason as their reason for doing so. Fearing an uprising. Apart from her, I never got to know any members of our family.” He placed the onion down and grabbed the knife to dice it. “So when I was little, I spent my time following her around in the Castle, learning everything I had to. While training me she raised Princess Zelda. Impa was less a Sheikah and more just a member of the King’s army, a tool in her own right I suppose.” But what are the Sheikah ever, if not just tools of convenience? To be picked up and used when the Royal Family had need of them?

   With the onion finished he turned to look behind him at Link. “Why don’t you help me chop these up and I can show you how to make stir-fry?” 

   Getting them off the topic of parents might be a good thing. He doesn’t want to make Link uncomfortable, and it only seemed to be serving in upsetting the both of them. One would think, at least at Sheik’s age, he’d have better things to say better stories to tell that don’t upset people. But the truth was, aside from the two lives he lived both rather short, he doesn’t have any other life experiences. Certainly no positive ones. The rest of his life was spent in a dark, nightmarish temple, that consumed his sanity and life. No one wants to hear stories like those. They’re not enjoyable or pleasant to listen to. They’re depressing and upsetting. 

   But he can, at the very least, cook with Link and show him how to so that when Sheik leaves after doing whatever Link needs, he can function on his own. At least in the kitchen. If he finds a way to actually do what Link wants, maybe he can even cook for this Twilight Princess of his. All of that of course is depending on if he does find a way to help the Hero.

[reversecreek]

struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.

* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY:

was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage

nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>

(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah. 

(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3

(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3

(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands

(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.

things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.

SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.

PERSONALITY:

sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?

likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations

sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.

luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole

has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.

unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot..... 

loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.

(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.

dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.

sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3

chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.

nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)

they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.

came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.

honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.

[threewaysdivided]

Yo hey!!! I just read through your YJ:DW series and I absolutely love it??? So much??? You write absolutely marvelously and have such a wonderful devotion to characterization and everything feels very Real and Natural. Your pacing is most excellent, you really know when things need to be lingered on and when they don’t need much more than a passing mention. And g o d I absolutely adore how you characterize so many characters, but particularly Danny. Like, he’s still the same Danny from the-(1/?)

show, but he’s changed in very particular ways that really match with what he’s been through. He’s very cautious and nervous and frightened after everything that’s happened, afraid to trust, to let people know too much. And that makes sense with everything he’s been through! He’s been on the run for so long, settling in one place definitely chafes at him. More than he feels it should, but it does. And like! He’s so wary and on edge with meeting the Team and the League members. I am def- (2/?)

-initely looking forward to seeing even more of their interactions. And like!!! The team’s reactions!!! Are so well thought out and just fantastic. Like, how Robin is aiming for a mix of normalcy and just a touch of protectiveness. And M’gann is curious and welcoming and doing her best to be Team Mom without being overwhelming. And how Wally is so intensely disbelieving and flippant QND almost abrasive to Phantom. I really wonder how he’s going to change in his approach to Phantom,- (3/?)

-like if he’ll dig his feet in even further to the point of rejecting reality in an attempt to maintain the reality in his own mind, or if he actually will start considering the science behind ghosts possible. I’m so excited to see how that develops. Also, aside, can I just say I loved getting Black Canary’s perspective on things with the last chapter? It revealed a lot more of Danny’s proper abilities and strengths than ya’d necessarily be able to piece together with a younger perspective-(4/?)

-and it just really helps develop the dynamics of everything even more. I’m wondering if you’re going to end up giving Danny enhanced strength or not, and if so to what degree, as an aside, explaining a bit more why he might be pulling his punches. I also wonder if he has any hesitation with fighting living folks who aren’t actively trying to hurt him, seeing as he mostly has experience fighting Ghosts and Hunters. Also also, I’m just so excited to see them all go on a mission!!! (5 or 6/?)

-Aaaah I could keep gushing for a Good While but I’m forgetting how many asks I’ve sent and I don’t want to bother you toooo much, so Imma just finish with you write beautifully and I’m So EXCITED to see where you go with things and like aaaaaaaaah, ya kno!!! (6 or 7/ 6 or 7)

Okay, first things first, you are absolutely not bothering me.  You found a piece of free content that I put up and - with no obligation or expectation -  sent me six messages detailing how much you liked it, and that’s Delightful.  It made my morning.  ‘Bothering’ is more than welcome on this blog.  Encouraged, even!

We’ve got a lot to cover so let’s get to it:

Danny’s Characterisation

Danny’s character has been a bit of a challenge to balance at times but I’m pretty pleased with how he’s shaping up.  There was this trend I noticed back when I started where - even in fics I really like - people had a frustrating tendency to swing him too much in one or the other direction; either turning him into a confident wise-cracking hyper-powerful hyper-skilled Troubled Badass™ who everyone respected even if he was humble about it, or into a Sad™ Broken™ Tormented™ cinnamon roll who just wanted love and who trusted and is trusted by every hero with minimal persuasion, when really he’s somewhere in the middle.

He’s a hero, yes, but he’s also a teenager.  He’s experienced and competent, but it’s in the self-taught way that leaves him with rough edges, blindspots and a lack of technical skill.  He can be a good, confident leader when the situation calls for it but he’s also someone who reads as fairly socially introverted and canonically has personal self-confidence issues, anxious and depressive traits and really wants to be accepted by his peers.  He’s friendly and funny and likeable but lacks social experience in a casual setting and can struggle with expressing his feelings, knowing the right thing to say/ do and being open with people.  He’s not just one or the other.  He’s both.

I also really wanted to explore the Death and Secrets plot points with more emotional detail.  It felt like a lot of the time in stories where he lost his family, Danny would either stall out in a tormented Grief State right until a Power of Love/ Friendship-prompted revival toward the final act, or he’d be sad for 5-10 short chapters then bounce back to his old self and go off with his New Family like it ain’t no thing.  With Deathly Weapons I want the characters to have to grow and come together naturally; to earn their healing and show why/how they’d come to like and trust each other, or decide that the other person is worth making the investment.

The Team

It’s kind of funny in hindsight but the Team’s development was a oddly late addition to the planning.  Which was fine for Arc I - being very Danny-centric - but then, as I was brainstorming Arc II it kind of hit me that if I was going to call this fic Young Justice: Deathly Weapons I should really try to showcase what I liked so much about the series.  And then I realised how much Danny’s experiences (canonical and DW-verse) and Team Phantom paralleled different members of the S1 cast, and how much character exploration potential there was to be had.  Arc II is basically just 8 teens looking at each other and going “We’re not so different you and I” in various settings for 20+ chapters.

There’s this nice quote from Stieg Larsson that I think sums up how I see both Danny and the different members of the Team fitting together: 

“I’m not going to compete with you. I’m better than you are at what I do. And you’re better than I am at what you do.”

All of them have at least one thing they’re good at, and at least a few weaknesses that other members can cover.  Their skills are complementary, their personalities and experiences are complimentary and none of them feel redundant in being there.  And with the extra challenges a DW-verse AU opens up, it creates a space where Phantom can slot in without having to displace an existing well-established member.

It also makes revolving perspective a lot of fun as I can tag in whoever’s mindset and perspective best fits the tone and information that needs to be delivered, rather than risking any one character losing their characterisation to their role as de facto narrator.

Despite how he’s acting right now, Wally is actually one of my favourites.  Needless to say there’s a lot more going on with our resident speedster than simple garden-variety ecto/paranorma-phobia, but that’ll be explored more in the chapters Flashpoints, Combustion and Equilibrium.

Training and Powers

Bruce and Dinah both make fun writes because they’re adults with more maturity and experience, which makes them great sources of diegetic exposition and perception that the main Team wouldn’t carry as well.

I’ve gotten a few questions about Danny’s powers in that chapter and how close they play to canon, so I should probably clear that up.  First thing is that DP’s canon is very wibbly wobbly about Danny’s power set (Is it super-strength letting him lift that or is he touch-transferring flight to make it weigh less?  Are those ectoblasts actually fire or was that just an animation flourish?  Can he teleport or is he just really fast and invisible? Does him lifting a rake that one time mean he has telekinesis or was it just a quick sight-gag?) so I’ve had to make some calls with grouping and sometimes dropping or altering edge-case powers to create a system that makes sense.  The other thing is that Chapter 17 is Danny explaining the things he consciously uses on the job and exploring how they compare to similar DC powers, rather than detailing out every single aspect that makes him different from regular humans.  (Kind of like how you wouldn’t bring up your own lung capacity, 20/20 distance vision or excellent patellar reflex unless someone drew your attention to it).  The chapter mostly serves to do some character set-up for later and drop some needed exposition so that Danny won’t have to be breaking the flow of future missions to explain very basic facts about his abilities the first time he uses them.

As for pulling his punches, some of it is certainly to do with him being uneasy about fighting breakable living beings when he’s used to ridiculously tough Ghost Beasts, and some of it was specifically due to who he was paired against.  But again, that’s something we’ll explore in future chapters.

Pacing and Writing

At this point I can only put this down to lots of planning, drafting and taking inspiration from the styles and structures of some very, very good published authors.  Quite a few chapters started out as simple exposition dumps or time skips before I realised that they’d have more value expanded out into full entries of their own.  (My drafting process = step 1: write too briefly, step 2: balloon to massively bogged down self-indulgent explorations, step 3: reign it in to something readable).

Books I definitely took stylistic influence from:

1. Steig Larsson’s, Swedish crime-mystery series The Millenium Trilogy.  Lisbeth is one of my character references for writing both Batman and Robin.(NOTE:  Hard MA+ rating, cw for explicit discussions and depictions of misogyny, homophobia, violence, gendered violence, sexual assault, stalking, drug use and Nazis.  Good books but Discretion Advised.)

2. Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief.General influence/ reference for prose and imagery, especially for the tone of Roads to Safe Places (ch.15).(Beautifully written story about humanity, but set in WWII-era Germany so be advised that Nazism, Nazis, War and Death feature heavily.)

3. Patrick Rothfuss’ The Kingkiller ChroniclesGeneral influence/reference for style and prose, YJ:DW Ch. 15′s title is a deliberate call out to the same title in Chapter 18 of KKC Book 1.(Fantasy books with some fantasy violence and a little bit of sex but nothing especially shocking.)

I’m just so excited to see them all go on a mission!!!

Me too!  Quick question though:

Just one?  Or are all of these okay? 😏

Now that I think about it there’s a weird dearth of story missions outside of the one needed for set-up in most YJxDP stories.  Not sure why.  Anyway, Deathly Weapons is a beast, we’re going to do at least 10.  I gotchu fam.

Aaand I think that’s everything.  Thanks for dropping in, feel free to stop by anytime.  Hope to see you around! ❤

[mysticalmagicalunicornheart]

I was just sitting here all depressed. I’m a bit sleep deprived. I went to sleep after 4 am, and was woken up by my husband saying I was so rude and a fucking hypocrite for not coming to bed last night. I tried to tell him that I didn’t come to bed because I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake him. But he couldn’t hear that he had already made up his mind that he was mad at me 🤷🏼‍♀️ what can I do. So I let the dogs out and went back to sleep on the couch until 8.

I woke up and immediately jumped in th shower. The dogs were all piled on me so I kinda felt sweaty and I always try to wake myself up that way. I mean I only slept about 2 and a half hours total time last night. But today is a day I have to go to court and see LC Noel’s murderer—— it’s always stomach sickening to look at her all alive and getting to do life after killing a five year old. I just don’t get it, how can you sit there and act like you’re not guilty? I would never be able to live with myself I swear. I’d end up killing my self or happily go to prison forever. I’d do anything to make sure the family knew I was so sorry. But not that gross woman can’t do that....

Tonight I guess we’re going to a MADD candle light tree lighting thing in uptown. I hate going out and doing anything but I wouldn’t want to miss anything for my niece Noel. The same way as if she were still here with us I’d show up for her anytime I can and that won’t stop now. So I’m going even tho I am completely exhausted.

Well I have about and hour or so to get some cleaning done and smoke before court. So I’m trying to lift myself up a little bit and become more positive. I was browsing all these depression blogs like SAME, exactly!!!, I thought I was the only one!! ..... yadayadayada....but at the same time I asked myself. Is that who you want to be?

fuck no.

I can’t let myself get like that I don’t want to feel the same. I’m getting help, I’m gonna put in the work on myself for myself.

I am sad— depressed after trauma—and a part of my heart will always be this broken because losing Noel broke me. I am gonna have bad days, I’m gonna have sleepless nights, I’m going to have to see terrible people, I’m going to have to stop the bullshit and remind myself that Noel wouldn’t like who I was becoming and neither did I. I want to be the best version of me. The best Wife, sister, daughter, aunt mom etc... I strive to always be the best for my relationships and that is why I fight so hard. And I notice that sometimes I’m fighting with myself because I am trying to make everyone happy and don’t feel like anyone notices. But I know that is my mental illness talking. So I am trying to be better at recognizing that.

I don’t want to be so sad anymore. I don’t want to let depression kill me. I don’t want Noel’s deaths to overshadow all the life she put inside me.

So today from this day forward I���m going to be fucking working so hard on myself and never stop working on myself. No trauma and tragedy is going to stop me because that is an unfortunate part of life. And a huge part of mine too, but I love myself when I am happy. I love being happy. And although it is gonna be hard to find happiness somedays. Ya kno “ how can i be happy without Noel here” “ how can I be happy when my sister is suffering so hard and she can’t find happiness” it’s rough for me it’s gonna be rough, but I have the vision and goal in my head that maybe I just need to be that first step and leader in our family. And what I mean by that is I will lead our family through grief and not let it destroy us. Not let it destroy the people we want to be. We are gonna be sad, mad, angry and everything in between but we can’t just jump in the pot and let those emotions marinate or that’s what we will become. The mad, sad, angry, and everything in between family. I want to be the family that stands strong together through it all, holding each other up when we need it but never let the other fall under at least not for long. Life doesn’t have to miserable without Noel. I imagine all the things it could have been with her here-that’s painful- but I’m not gonna alllow my life to become miserable. Gonna Live loud and carefree and always Love Like Noel. She truly inspires me and she has again today. I’m grateful for the connection I share with her because I still feel it. It’s weird, I know but I talk to her and she shows me things.. opens my mind I know I sound crazy but it’s real. You can’t lose connections with people after death I think it’s still there but you have to be really open minded to find it and keep it alive.

It’s Hard to be positive around my family. They’re so negative and I get it so I can’t be like okay y’all come on.. cause I get it I’m feeling it too. I’m hurt. But I can’t believe that this is how we’re supposed to live now? Noel would not be cool with us living like we’re broken, unable to function the way we wish. I’m not doing that anymore.

Somethings gotta change cause this isn’t working. Here goes today is the first day on the way to getting a better life for me and my loved ones.

[ragnarssons]

Well season finales usually have some emotional moments but I don't know... maybe that line was taken from a hallucination? and then they deadass added it to bait. It would be a dirty move even for them but we'll see.

I don’t know because as some people stated, the line isn’t an accusation against Clarke. It’s more… confusion. It’s as much showing how she cares about him (calling him every day for 2199 days) and how much he feels she doesn’t (leaving him to die in the pits). For example the Blodreina projection was accusing Clarke of “giving up” on Octavia (and Bellamy) totally. It was not something that seemed conflicted about Clarke’s actions and feelings, it was full on something accusing her and hating her. All of Clarke’s thoughts, guilt and self-hatred coming from the mouth of someone she thinks hates her. I mean, we complain about a Bellarke talk missing so far, but I’d also say a Clarke/Octavia talk has been missing ever since ep11. They’ve just reunited after the whole Blodreina vs Wanheda thing, and it needed a convo to deal with it and… kinda bury the hatchet. The fact that it didn’t happen make their relationship lack of something. The point of showing Octavia in Clarke’s mindspace was to highlight her guilt regarding Octavia. But… then they didn’t address it when new!Octavia and Clarke came face to face? *sigh*I mean, are we supposed to be surprised? This show is always alwayyyys about the plot before the characters. It’s plot driven (and I hate it because so many times the characters would need to talk about things, but they don’t!). That’s why I do believe Bellarke will happen, because they’re the characters/relationship that consistently EXISTS with the plot. It is the relationship that evolves and breathes with the story as it goes- as Jroth said, “the spine” of the show. The season where all of this lacked was s5 and yet again, you could argue that it existed, just not in the way we wanted it to exist. And maybe it was natural for Clarke and Bellamy not to work in sync after six years of being apart- the problem is that it would have been more obvious/more understandable if the timejump had been more significant (again, FLASHBACKS, they coulda stole the Arrow formula and gave us glimpses of the past six years during the entire season). I will forever say that, given what they did with it, the end of s4/the time jump and s5 didn’t need to exist. You could erase them of the show, it wouldn’t change a thing. S5 didn’t move anything forward, it wasn’t new, it wasn’t original. Even the Eligius crew that could have changed the dynamic of the group today well… it didn’t, because Diyoza wasn’t part of the group during the season and now she’s dead apparently and we have no explanation and no real “justification” for that either (hence why people think she’ll come back and she’d better otherwise it would be a shitty end to an awesome character tbh). And Shaw died too. So, Eligius didn’t change shit, all the serial killers are in cryo and god knows when they’ll talk about this elephant in the room, ya kno. I think I lost myself. But to me s6 just confirmed how unnecessary and useless s5 was. If I were Jroth I woulda put everyone on a spaceship at the end of s4 and made them leave Earth at that moment. And then maybe have Monty and Harper sacrifice themselves to give birth to Jordan and help the ship go to Eligius. It’s like Jroth found an awesome - better than the 6 years time jump - idea (a new planet), one year too late, so he re-made the whole space thing just to put it in his show, like lmao. Anyway, back to Bellarke-There is a formula with them too. S6 was kinda different because they weren’t physically separated and we did see the lengths Bellamy was willing to go to save Clarke. But again, I have to agree with everyone saying that it was not enough. For all we know, Clarke could HEAR what Bellamy was doing/sharing with Josephine during ep9 and 10. So huh, why wasn’t this addressed? I get the “oh but they have to survive first!” thing, but-… that’s how you pull a cheap trick to delay something that is glaringly obvious. You don’t make Bellamy BEG for Clarke to survive, say he NEEDS her and that he’s NOT gonna let her go, and just be like “oh well they’ll talk about this once they saved their friends”. It’s the same bullshit they’ve been pulling since s4. Like okay before that, the delay was natural. She was with Finn, they were separated by MW, then they reunited but Clarke had just lost Finn and felt too guilty to “settle”. Then there was Lxa and Clarke’s grief. But-… even at the end of s4 it didn’t make sense to address what was already HUGE (excuse me, the List???). But then they separated them for 6 years. And s5 Bellarke had their issues that they didn’t talk about until 6x01 (and idk if anyone thinks this is over, because it SHOULDN’T). How is that normal? Years in the making things (Clarke calling Bellamy every day - EVERY; DAY - for six years) that weren’t addressed because “oh but the plot!” (and a shitty plot on top of that, s5 really sucked tbh). Thing is, if they ever address it, it’ll mend Bellarke so much that there is no escape to canon. So they FORCE them not to address it. And sometimes it’s so obvious that it’s embarrassing. Bellamy not addressing the fact that he put the Flame in Madi’s head? Not natural. Bellamy not responding to Clarke’s apologies on 6x04? Not natural. Bellarke not talking about how Clarke felt when SOMEONE at least was fighting for her when she, herself, in her own mindspace, was so sure that everyone had given up on her? Not natural. I mean, there are a lot of stuff that aren’t addressed as a whole. “For Monty” and all is nice, but the fact that Spa/cekru never explicitely talked about losing TWO members of their “family” is what makes this dynamic even LESS believable. The fact that Abby didn’t notice that her daughter was dead and that her reaction was not explored until right before her death is very telling too. And will Clarke even be ALLOWED to grieve for her mother? Her LAST parent, who got snatched by the same people who tried to kill HER and are torturing her daughter? Every time I think it gets better, it doesn’t, because ultimately, the plot ALWAYS takes over. They keep making Bellarke’s actions for each other more and more significant. But they never make the characters talk about it properly, so it’s just stalling at this point. Just like Bleggo and how INCONSISTENT it is (helloooo same than Bellarke, will they EVER address the lies that lie as a foundation of this relationship???? How DIFFERENT their philosophies are? Why put it in the show if you’re not gonna address it ffs??) is lazy stalling too. “Oh but look Bellamy has a girlfriend even tho we haven’t given them any scene together since ep4!!!” UGH. It’s just ridiculous, I’m gonna be honest, it’s frustrating how it’s handled. I love Bellarke when it’s intense, but the way the writers constantly drop the ball when it gets just THERE, is too obvious.  And it’s so lazily done. And it’s just to have the show going. And I mean, even if Bellarke is meant to be an ENDGAME couple, at some point, it won’t even make sense if that happens, because HOW LONG can they circle around this until it doesn’t mean anything anymore? How long can they do that until it’s just a tired receipe that won’t work at all anymore? It’s been three seasons already, three seasons of back and forth. To me, yeah, it really started going to this “exclusive Bellarke” place from s4 and going, and it’s already a lot. When I say I NEED BELLARKE TO TALK, it’s not “yeh you called me for six years every day let’s just joke about it lel”, it’s TALK. But as I said at the end of s5, talking would mean canon. There is no way around it. If Bellarke were to explore everything they do for each other and WHY, they’d be canon in the same breath. So the writers force them apart, over and over again. We’ll see in the finale, really. I can’t fathom a finale where the two leads don’t interact. And really, if they pull some space separation bullshit again at the end of the season, I might really drop the show. Because 1) it would be three seasons in a row where they do this and… no 2) it would be LAZY like they don’t have other ideas?? 3) I hate it. To me it’s contrary to the idea of the show. They’re NOT supposed to go to space, they’re supposed to find a place on the ground to settle. I was already super mad at the end of s4 where it happened. I was ANGRY that they left Earth at the end of s5. If they do it again with Sanctum/Alpha I might just-… what would be the point of the show anymore, huh? I really hope this quote “you called me every day” and all, was NOT added as bait. Because they’ve never done this and it would be really, a dirty move. They KNOW the radio calls talk (+ left to die in the fighting pits, coming from Bellamy) are two IMMENSELY important talks Bellamy and Clarke need to have. If they just teased it to bait us, then yes, it’s more than dirty, it’s shitty and I don’t want to relay on/trust the kind of people who would do that.

[graysongraysoff]

for that character meme, ya gotta do valentine, but also mercutio bc i'm greedy and can't decide.

!!!! oh u kno i got u

valentine

favorite thing about them

is it sadistic to say my favorite thing about him is how cathartic writing his grief is bc he grieves so angrily?

least favorite thing about them

that more people aren’t writing about him

favorite line

act 1 scene 2 line 69 (nowhere did it say it had to be a line SPOKEN by him)

brotp

the one, the only,

otp

i ship val with being aro/ace

notp

i mean everyone’s take on him is so different due to his very nature as a “character,” so i’ve never really seen him in a ship and been like “ew that could never work”

oh i’m not big on incest, though, so probably valcutio (if that is....... even a thing. i’ve never seen it but best to be safe.)

random headcanon

i should probably do more canon era headcanons huh

val picks up mercutio’s sword after That Fateful Duel and uses it as his own until the day he dies :)

unpopular opinion

we should care that mercutio canonically has a brother

also i see a lot of older vals, and they are all 💯, but i personally have a lot more fun when he’s the younger sibling!

song i associate with them

“who now will sing me lullabies” and it’s YOUR FAULT (idk if this is the right version but it IS the song)

favorite picture of them

jk it’s actually any version drawn by @spookydraws

(but i’m partial to this one bc they drew it for ME way back in the @nicecourfeyrack days)

mercutio

favorite thing about them

he taught me what wordplay is! i love a punny boy!

least favorite thing about them

this isn’t necessarily his fault but i hate it when people play him like....... so straight and boring

he’s such a fun and dynamic character you’d think it’d be impossible to make him boring but you’d be wrong

also he dies and i gotta tell ya, not a huge fan of that

favorite line

i will not budge for no man’s pleasure, i!

brotp

YOU ALREADY KNOW (honorable mention goes to the og brot3 of mercutio, romeo and benvolio, though)

otp

more and more i’m into unrequited romercutio because i HATE JOY

notp

i used to really not like tycutio but a certain very good good writer who may or may not have sent me this ask has warmed me up to it somewhat........... so maybe not a notp per se but definitely the most difficult to get me on board for. my anaconda don’t want none unless you got writing chops hon.

random headcanon

it took me 45 entire minutes to have a single original thought

i feel like canon era mercutio was making fast-food-chain level culinary abominations long before his time

unpopular opinion

i’m all for mercutio having like a Secret Darkness or whatever and like using humor to cover up his Suffering for sure for sure totally, but i hate it when that’s like. the whole deal. i like my mercutios to have genuine real fun and tell genuine real jokes sometimes. i like a dynamic boy. i like a boy who was funny before he started suffering, not a boy who is funny because he started suffering, does that make sense?

song i associate with them

“the driver” because obviously

favorite picture of them

[defiestars]

some quick verse + tlj thoughts related info  * *  very uhHHH likely to change as i go / as i remember things more clearly if / when i subject myself to tlj again

i.  recovery   //    in the empire strikes back novelisation luke was in his bacta tank for 12 hours and then slept for another 16 hours for fatal hypothermia.  assuming bacta technology has advanced and become more sophisticated,  particularly because it’s now been synthesised into a suit,  i’d estimate finn’s recovery to have been in the 30-36 hour mark.  (   also, he’s force-sensitive but that’s A Whole Other Topic  !  )   

if we assume:  day 1 post-tfa:  rey staying long enough to get her hot new Grey Jedi Look together  +  organise the gps bracelet plan with leia.  the resistance receiving alerts that the first order fleet is approaching and beginning evacuation plans.  day 2 post-tfa:  finn wakes up,  half a day earlier than he did in tlj,  just in time to offer information on the weak points of the star destroyers and the dreadnought, including helping devise the plan to eliminate the dreadnought’s surface cannons and clear the way for the resistance bombers. 

ii.  allegiance   //   FINN OWES !! THE RESISTANCE !! NOTHING !!!!!!  HE DOESN’T OWE ANYBODY SHIT !!!!!!!  this boy has risked his life and livelihood time and again from the moment he chose not to kill for the first order for complete strangers,  for a movement he had no prior connections with.  even if leaving and becoming a  ‘’’’’’’ traitor ‘’’’’’ to the resistance had been right for his character and a valid development in his character arc,  he does not deserve to be called a deserter for wanting nothing to do with the first order ever again.  like........... does anybody fucking realise that alongside the very possible defeat of the resistance, finn being captured by the first order again probably means he wouldn’t be killed, but  reconditioned  ???????  the first order has had deserters, too !!   they also get tasered !  in the Head, specifically their Brain, where they’re basically restored to factory settings.  not to mention the sheer amount of bravery and courage and heroism it takes for him to turn around and face the organization that destroyed his childhood, enslaved him, and has systematically abused him every day of his life.

with all of that said,,,,,  it makes 0 sense for finn to decide, in the middle of the resistance evacuation, to suddenly up and leave with a shitty ass excuse about needing to be far away for when rey comes back.  like ??????  rey's path is already so deeply and inexorably tied to the rube goldberg machine that is the jedi, the resistance, and the skywalkers,  and finn knows this.  even if he wasn’t fundamentally a person with a moral compass that couldn’t be broken even by two decades of indoctrination into a fascist space nazi regime,  finn does The Things He Does because they’re the right thing to do.  his character arc is not and has never been defined by rey.  i don’t know what dinosaur sloth titty juice rian johnson’s been drinking but repeating parts of finn’s earlier character development to the point of regression is not !!! good !!!! writing !!!!!!!

given that he’s spent 36ish hours in a recovery coma,  finn hasn’t had so much as a Second to process,  or decide,  where he stands in the resistance.  like rey,  he too is looking for someone to show him his place in all this.  unlike rey,  he has no mentor figure, no introspective screentime alone,  no inner dialogue or space to explore who he is now in the post-first order part of his life.  but,  for the time being and given the time-sensitivity of the resistance evacuation,  he is absolutely on the side of the rebels.  these are the people who saved him and protected him,  who gave him the jacket off their backs and something to fight for.  not only does deserting make 0 logical or tactical sense in the middle of an evacuation,  it’s just outright selfish ??  and self-serving ???  none of which finn is, thank you @ryan johnson.

iii.  rebellion   //   so there’s been a lot of differing opinions on finn and rose’s storyline and after agonizing a lot of this i’ve come to the almost final decision that it’s Not As Bad as ppl want it to be.  like a lot of mischaracterisation fuck-ups in tlj,  it mainly comes down to  how this storyline was treated in the grand scheme of tlj and how significant it was to the overarching plot.  canto bight only seems irrelevant because ryan johnson is a terrible fucking writer who thrives off sidelining his characters of color.  thematically, it served it as a damning critique of the powerful ruling class and political economic elites that are actively profitting from the injustice and oppression of war.  rose showing those kids the resistance emblem in her ring is one of the most iconic moments in the film;  inspiring a whole generation of children to rise up against their oppressors is  everything the resistance symbolizes and fights for.  

throwing in an unnecessary oc spitting some half-assed  ‘ everything isn’t always good or bad, sometimes there’s just grey areas ’  message in a parallel of the jedi story and ultimately having the undercover mission serve No Purpose Whatsoever was a shitty move.  in keeping with the fandom interpretation that tlj is a story about failure,  this would’ve been okay  only  if  the detour onto the star destroyer hadn’t been for absolutely nothing.  because there Needed to be fucking somETHINg,  instead of just benicio del toro rihanna.gif winking with the parting words that  ‘ hey sometimes people are just assholes ’.  star wars isn’t a story... about... people being fundamentally shitty..... it’s a story about good vs. bad and the enduring struggle for Balance between them;  People Are Both.  it doesn’t matter what you are but what you  do  and the choice you have to do good or bad.  to counteract the shittiness of dj fucking off,  leaving two poc to be forced onto their knees by a white fascist villain,  and a black character to be slapped upside the face by said white fascist villain we needed Something.  WHERE WAS OUR STORMTROOPER UPRISING, hMMMmm MMm MMMM mMM MM ????????????

bb-8 showing up as deus ex sight gag was funny for 2.5 seconds but now i'm just.... like crait.... a whole Salt Planet.  we could have had, it All ?  i don’t even specifically know where this part of my tlj-divergent verse goes because it actually requires other non-canon characters to exist but.... hey if any ex-stormtrooper oc’s wanna hmu.... u kno where i’m at.  basically,  i picture a handful of stormtroopers defecting,  escaping with rose and finn,  becoming part of  the rebellion that is reborn. 

iv.  battle of crait   //   this... fuc king scene..... god.  let’s just get the wampa out of the way.  rose’s  ‘ that’s how we’re gonna win.  not fighting what we hate, saving what we love ’  was totally narratively undeserved.  this is not a criticism of the character but of ryan, again, the man who was paid millions of dollars to write this garbage.  in under 18 hours,,,, rose has decided that she has gotten over her lifelong hatred for the first order,  her very recent and fresh grief over losing her sister who died Fighting The First Order,  and oH,  she LOVES FINN ?  WHAT.  cool.  coolcoolcool.

in my canon, i’m going to go with the idea that rose did not kiss finn.  but they have a fantastic dynamic,  and rose crashing into him, saving him and saying something similar to what she said but more along the lines of not wanting to lose another person she cares about to the first order would have been much... better....  i view this ship as primarily platonic, at least far as tlj goes.  finnrey and finnpoe barely had any screentime / development so ryan johnson is flat-out playing no-homo games if he thinks he’s going to sail a ship based on 18 hours of knowing each other.  but i’m totally open to seeing where it goes with proper development, etc. in rp,  so if there are any rose’s that would like to plot with me and discuss finnrose stuff please !!!  i’m begging you !!!!  

if ya made it to the end,  thank you,  ur the real mvp,  u are now obligated to message me to plot or yell at me abt ur own tlj salt / headcanons / character analysis. 

[g0ldpainted]

Father!Chocobros: Treating Kids/Playground Headcanons

I just watched a couple at a playground and then I had the urge to write this.

Ravus can be found here 

Ignis’ at the bottom and contains minor spoilers BUT I put a warning right before they start so no worries.

I’M SORRY IT’S SO LONG THINGS HAPPENED AND I COULDN’T STOP.

P.S.: Someday I’ll write these as ficlets.

Noctis:

Lets his kid play at public playgrounds but also builds an indoor one at their home

It would be located at the garden seen in Brotherhood Ep. 3 

His kid gets to choose all the cool elements with him

You want a merry-go-round? Sure.

Or what about a little tower with a long slide? Yup.

Security is his top priority but he'll grant ALL the wishes

Pink with lots of unicorns? Alright, if that's what you want.

Purple, yellow, red color blocking? Uh.. Yeah!

Regardless of the taste, it's guaranteed to be the biggest, most fancy playground anyone will ever have seen

Tape cutting ceremony! Party for all his kid's friends!

No bragging though! He want's his kid to stay ground leveled. He just really likes pampering his child and since the playground will be located at the citadel, it has to be as fancy as his kids wishes allow it to be (Lucis symbol is a must)

Makes sure that someone is always watching over his kid when it's playing

Loves playing with his child whenever he has time 

Sends guards away when with his kid bc he wants privacy

S/O wants to join? Anytime!

Is bound to the citadel so most of the time they'll play there

That's mainly the reason why he wanted to build one

S/O is the one that takes their kid to public playground

Noctis is the cutest cinnamon roll when it comes to playing with his precious baby 

Up for anything

If they wanna play pretend that they're pirates, he'll tag along

If they wanna play pretend that they're a prince/ss that lives in a high castle like Rapunzel, he'll tag along

Lots of tickling, swirling around and hide and seek

His S/O is with them? Ooh you better hide or he'll shower you with pecks 

He just loves his family, ok. 

No more sulky Noct, all smiles and giggles Noct - until he has to go back to his duties..

A meeting right after he spent time with his kid? Well, he might just show up covered in sand - no fucks were given

All that matters is his little offspring smiling at the end of the day

Prompto:

Loves spending time outside with his kid so 200% public playgrounds

If his home allows it, he also has a small slide and a sandbox in his garden

Makes sure to have a deep bond with his kid so he spends as much time as possible with it

Doesn't want his kid to be a loner like him so he takes it out to various playgrounds from it’s very first year of life

S/O is tagged along whether they like it or not

A little careless when playing

Minor injuries are bound to happen

You bet S/O scolds him for that

But you bet his kid laughs about it's injuries instead of crying

Yup, Prompto is whinier than his kid but tries to hide it 

Only S/O sees the whiny Prompto that needs his S/O to kiss his wounds okay :'D

Takes photos of his kid in every single situation

Overly excited about all new photos

Makes sure his S/O sees all of them

Well, he shoves them in their face tbh

FAMILY PLAYGROUND DATES especially when multiple kiddos are involved

Two bundles of joy playing tag while S/O and dad are cuddling on a bench? Sign him right up for it!

Play dates with friends from school? Prompto will be watching from afar

Can't risk those "friends" being evil bullies that potentially hurt his little one!

Protective af

Becomes a little kid himself when playing with his kid(s)

Just imagine two little Promptos building a sand castle?!

Gladiolus:

Oh boi. That guy loves adventures and nature.

Who needs a public playground in a crowded city when the entire world is one?

Pack your bags S/O and kiddo. It's time for lots of trips through all of Lucis!

Climbing trees, climbing rocks, building a treehouse

Camping! So much camping!

Would be devastated if his kid doesn't like any of that

Would also be devastated if he had to postpone a trip because his S/O is too busy

But there won’t be a trip without S/O - especially not during the first few years

He simply doesn't like the idea of leaving his loved one at home ..alone

Though Gladio is all about being tough, he's such a softy for his kid and his S/O

Strict with rules for his kid but only has very few

Daily training is a must once it reached a certain age - but until then, it's all about having fun

Let's his kid explore alone (e.g. climb without help) but makes sure to be nearby

Panicking S/O! So much panic on the first few trips. 

(And so many apologies from Gladaddy for worrying his S/O once they're all back home.. in private ;)  if ya kno what I mean *eyebrow wiggle*)

Promises to take good care of their kid and that he can trust her

S/O's still suspicious but eventually realizes that he's right

Because! Gladio's very careful and cautious doesn't risk his kid get hurt

It's like he has a third eye at the back of his head that constantly watches his kid

But if it ever gets hurt - being the tough guy he is - he tells it to men up and that it's just a cut with one of his huge smiles

That results in more crying. Good job, Gladio.

And now he's just a mess that doesn't know what to do

It breaks his heart but how to mend it?

S/O doesn't have any of that. Female or male. This kid does not have to "men up". 

Yes, the big guy will be scolded for that.

Tries to be more empathetic next time and even apologizes to his kid (though it's not mad at him)

He's SO awkward when his kid wants to play Tea Party in the wild with all it's stuffed animals - and it's dad

Doesn't exactly know what to do but tries his best to play along and hide his embarrassment

Dies if they're actually out in the wild bc in this case that equals public to him

What if anyone sees the Kings Shield pretending to eat sand?! - that's pretty much all he thinks about 

It's actually very cute to see a semi blushy Gladio sitting cross-legged in the sand while his kid holds out a bowl filled with sand for him to take 

If his S/O is with them, he's constantly being teased about it

His S/O will regret that later ;)

Unfortunately, the Kings Shield is quite busy, though..

Doesn't like the thought of his S/O taking trips with their child without him

So! He builds a small fort and treehouse in their garden

Now they can have fun without leaving their house, yay!

That huge smile on both his S/O's and his kid's face is something he'll never forget

It was worth all the late night, after-work, hours

They're worth it all <3

Ignis:

Always required near Noctis so doesn’t have too much time

Unfortunately, S/O spends most time with their kid alone

However, sometimes he takes his kid along to play with Noctis'

Rules! So many rules of what his kid can and can't do on a playground

No climbing up, it's too high! Only slide when I'm nearby. Oh and that? No that's for big kids, you're too young.

Might come off as strict and no-fun but really just wants to protect his kid

S/O tries to calm him down about it

Usually gives in when his kid asks to climb that one, forbidden, tower with him

You really wanna go up there? Fine.. Okay fine. Just once, though.

Loves playing "cooking" with the sand

Makes sure to teach actual recipeeehs

Combining playing with learning is top notch

Treasures time with his kid

Prepared for all situations

Seeing his kid hurt and even crying, breaks his heart but he always knows how to make it better

A sliver in your hand? Watch out for Doctor Ignis™; it's time to perform a surgery!

I've come up with a new method to fix our haaand!

Pulls the sliver with a pair of tweezers, then gives self-made sweets to his kid to further calm it down

S/O + Kid + picnic near a playground = perfect

Family dates are so rare, he does everything to make them perfect

Of course all the food is handmade by yours truly

New recipeehs all the time!

Those huge, happy eyes whenever he holds up one of his self-made blueberry muffins is something he’ll never forget

Ignis always brings snacks when they visit the playground but once he holds up the blueberry muffin.. oii his kid comes running

Eyes enlarged, hands reaching out to it and then FINALLY it takes it!

Only seconds later it plops to the ground

Ignis tries hard not to laugh at the shocked expression that switches between the dirty blueberry muffin on the ground and Ignis’ eyes

Now THAT is something he won’t forget - especially bc it happens almost everytime

It happens so often he starts preparing an extra muffin

Dad is now a hero!

(WATCH OUT! CHAPTER 9 SPOILERS BELOW!)

Very touchy for the first few years

Wants to have a clear image of his child and know about all of it's changes so S/O has to describe it to him

Thankfully his kid is very understanding

Playground only with his S/O joining as it's impossible for him to know what's actually going on

Cooking/baking in the sand is still a thing

Playground dates stress him out as he can't tell what is going on

Needs constant reassurance that his little one is okay

Though he adjusted to his new life, he's still sad about all the stuff he's missing out on - especially when it comes to his family

Hearing the giggle of his kid makes up for all his grief, though.