#but wow its so interesting to study my disease

[unforgivablyshy]

It’s final paper time

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 407: Wait Why Are You Running Away

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan figured out how to control his quirk upgrade and was totally chill and normal about it. Definitely not terrifying at all. He actually spent the entire chapter smiling and laughing like the wholesome little boy he is. I don’t know why Kid For One is so freaked out about it. He even politely introduced himself using his childhood nickname. Clearly he just wants to be friends with you, KFO!

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “sorry to keep you waiting, here’s the AFO and Yoichi flashback you ordered at long last” and proceeds to serve a nightmarish stew of HUMAN MISERY and RATS and STABBING and CARNAGE and SO MUCH MURDER and THE SINGLE MOST FUCKED-UP CASE OF CODEPENDENCY ANYONE HAS EVER WRITTEN. I was not even remotely prepared for any of this, and if anyone else claims that they were, I will call you a liar to your face. If this chapter had a mouth it would scream. Or just sob, ceaselessly and uncontrollably. I’m really glad Horikoshi is on break next week because that man needs to take a fucking nap. My god.

okay WOW

anyone else read the first two words and just immediately say to themselves, “oh okay, so it’s gonna be one of those chapters”? I mean, I guess we were due for a darker chapter after last week’s Kacchan Comedy Tour. but idk, I just wasn’t expecting “homeless sick prostitute with a drinking problem” levels of dark

AND SHE’S PREGNANT?!

what exactly is this manga rated again? doesn’t this backstory seem just a little bit raw for the impressionable kiddos??

has anyone actually checked in on Horikoshi recently? you know, just to make sure he is okay??

what a fun and wholesome manga this is

the lil baby arm covered in blood with the AFO hole on the palm. lying next to the dead mom hand. what an image to sear into our minds. I guess it’s been a while since he killed any dogs. gotta keep us on our toes somehow

also wasn’t expecting AFO and Yoichi to be twins! that puts an interesting spin on their relationship, because it’s usually a closer bond than even regular siblings. especially with all of that delightful shared trauma from a young age!!

yes, exactly

ohhhh this chapter is gonna hurt me, isn’t it. okay. ooooooookay. let’s do this

OH I’M SORRY, THERE’S MORE?!

Horikoshi my dude. you do realize that their mom dying in childbirth and the two of them just barely surviving and growing up as street orphans would have already been MORE than tragic enough, backstory-wise. you did not have to turn this into a freaking horror show with RATS TRYING TO EAT THEIR NEWBORN SELVES jesus christ

and THAT’S where you chose to put a one year timeskip?!

what the fuck am I reading here, you guys. no please tell me, I am actually desperate to understand

so the narrator is saying that some of the quirks manifested later in life, in “pubescent and pre-pubescent stages”, which is interesting because it’s the first time I can recall hearing about someone actually manifesting a quirk that late. maybe Deku’s old OFA cover story was more plausible than I realized

anyway so eventually it occurred to everyone that they should maybe freaking study this shit, idk. and eventually the researchers concluded that the superpowers came from a new gene that apparently isn’t human. and upon hearing that, society apparently lost its freaking mind. which is fascinating to me because it implies that the turning point wasn’t actually the superpowers themselves, but the realization of what it meant

like, so they were apparently fine with it when they thought it was a “mysterious disease”, but somehow it hit different when they learned it wasn’t actually a sickness at all, but instead the Next Step in Evolution. and it became an “us vs them” thing, as opposed to a “we have to cure these poor people” thing. damn

anyway so now Japan is a dystopia and we’re cutting to a big crowd of merc-looking dudes who are getting ready to attack some “meta freaks”, how lovely

but who is this figure in the shadows

I ask politely, as if it wasn’t already beyond obvious that this is AFO about to wreck some people’s shit

ohhhhh my god lmao

hopefully Katsuki and Deku can take the present day AFO out before he winds up looking like this. because this little fella is clearly demonic and idk if anyone can stop him

you all don’t understand. you need to run the fuck away right now

oh shit it’s already too late for them

it’s too late for any of us. it’s over. it’s all fucking over

((((；゜Д゜)))

AFO I am putting the manga down. I am backing away slowly with my hands in the air. I mean you no harm. please for the love of god have mercy

holy

“you see, we told you he wasn’t human” okay Scientific Research Group, you know what?? you win this round I guess

“HE WAS LITERALLY EVIL FROM BIRTH” HORIKOSHI SERIOUSLY ARE YOU OKAY??

HE WAS BORN AN ARROGANT BABY is literally the most terrifying sentence I have ever read

what the entire fuck

it’s a gorgeous sunny mid-November afternoon outside my window. but no matter how hard it tries, the light cannot reach this place

what kind of moron would throw a can of soda at him. officially the stupidest person we have ever seen in this manga

OH MY GOD OF COURSE IT’S HIM LMAO

(ETA: how come baby Yoichi has clothes that fit him perfectly but baby AFO is just stomping around wearing a tablecloth.)

BABY YOICHI. OH MY GOD. HOW THE HELL DID YOU GROW UP TO BE SANE AND KIND AND GOOD. THAT’S MY QUESTION THAT I NEED ANSWERED RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE LITERALLY A MIRACLE. YOU ARE AN IMPOSSIBILITY, DO YOU KNOW THAT

small and weak, but also so, so cute. all of the cuteness genes went straight to him. no wonder AFO was jealous

(ETA: just want to press pause for a second to speculate about what type of twins AFO and Yoichi are, since it has some relevance to the story, and especially to the OFA/AFO quirk lore. so! at first glance the two of them would appear to be fraternal twins, just based on the fact that they have very different appearances, and also the fact that Yoichi doesn’t have the AFO quirk – no holes in his hands, etc. identical twins are born from the same fertilized egg, so in theory they would both have the same sequence of DNA, which means Yoichi would have had the same quirk as AFO. but that doesn’t appear to be the case. so all of that points to them being fraternal, not identical.

on the other hand, there is one piece of evidence in this chapter that does support them being identical twins, and that’s the fact that per the narration, AFO absorbed most of the nutrients from their mother. a few minutes of google fu informed me that this condition is relatively rare, and only happens in cases where two twins share a placenta, which typically is only the case for identical twins. HOWEVER, for what it’s worth, there have also been rare instances where two fraternal twin placentas fuse together and become a single placenta. AND this apparently also increases the chances of one of the twins gaining more of the nutrients and causing the other twin to have a lower birth weight.

so based on the evidence here, my conclusion is that the two of them are most likely fraternal twins with a case of placental fusion. besides, you can’t tell me that stealing his baby brother’s placenta while the two of them are literally still in the womb doesn’t sound like exactly the type of BS that fetus!AFO would pull, lol.)

HEY!?!

okay?!?!?! well to be fair he did throw that soda at him

oh my god this is so fucked up. in like the best and worst way possible

I genuinely couldn’t ask for a better AFO backstory. it’s so incredibly twisted, and you actually do feel sorry for him. or at least I do. but it’s also beyond clear that this kid was FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL REASON right from the get go. zero goodness in him. literally doesn’t see other people as people. sees them as possessions only. things to rule over. not other thinking, feeling human beings. and that includes his own little brother

but. even if it’s not actually what I would call love, there’s still... attachment, there. it’s the closest he can get to actually caring about someone. guh. just, somehow they have both managed to humanize him, and at the same time made him less human than ever. this manga, man. this fucking manga, though

lmao and here we go. Captain Hero

you know, all those times that I made fun of AFO for not knowing how to read, I never suspected that the twist in his backstory would be that he LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO READ dfksjdlfkjslkdf

but seriously though. because Yoichi appears to be self-taught, and I can’t see AFO having the patience for that, and CLEARLY no one else was around to teach him, sooooo...

oh my goodness it’s actually getting wholesome up in here

what a good fucking boy. poor AFO. fuck me, I can’t help it. it’s not your fault you’re the world’s greatest monster you poor bastard

now we’re cutting to THREE YEARS LATER. okay

is he going to declare war on the glowing baby

typical teenager concerned about nothing but likes and view counts. AFO you would be so much happier if you stopped worrying about all of that and just focused on your own growth

oh, lol. well that was quick

(ETA: r.i.p. Damien.)

“this guy had more instagram followers than me. so I killed him” honey. sweetie pie. you need therapy

omfg

all this time I was wondering who AFO’s middle school lit teacher was who had failed so spectacularly at teaching him reading comprehension. and it was YOICHI ALL ALONG. omg

“and, presumably, that’s how it always was and always will be.” dude. can you imagine listening to AFO’s oral book report on A Tale of Two Cities. “ahem. it was the Best of Times. the end” buddy noooooooo

it was at that moment when Yoichi knew, etc. etc.

oh my GOD I scrolled down to the next panel right after this one and I just IMMEDIATELY DIED LAUGHING

“WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID” ffffffffffffffff I fucking can’t omfg

NOW THIS HUSSY IS STEALING HIS BROTHER AWAY FROM HIM NOOOOOOO

HE’S HIS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!!

oh my god the hands. so wait, is this just the standard symbolic BnHA handholding, or are there More Levels To This. when exactly did Yoichi pass OFA on to Kudou. like is that why the sudden close-up and all that? omg

WHAT!!!!

OH THAT’S THE END, HUH? THAT’S THE END RIGHT THERE, AND THAT’S JUST HOW IT IS. I SEE. OKAY THEN. EXCUSE ME WHILE I PUT MY LAPTOP DOWN AND GO INTO THE NEXT ROOM AND SCREAM INTO A PILLOW

oh my god. and break next week too. this is what you guys have been dealing with this entire time huh. I understand your feelings now. godfuckingdammit lmao

[wubwubnparmaham]

we, your ever devoted readers (not even a lie), tend to come to you with stories about what kind of real-like encounters we've had or moments where we put our historical knowledge to use that we got from your story. but i wanna know, has that ever happened to you? did you ever have a moment where love endless knowledge came in handy? tell the class heehehe

oh my GOD BEST QUESTION. BEST. QUESTION. wow. this is like a press conference dream type of question. i have one sparkling example, but it's likely there were a few along the way that didn't sink into my memory as deep. but i'll carry this one forever, cuz it's so funny to me

answer below

it was myyyy third? year? of college? maybe. sometime in college for sure, and i had an archaeology lab class i was taking and there was a guest speaker/professor who came on Zoom to basically advertise his OWN class, since it was new in the course catalog, and it was like this historic sort of etiology class that was all about studying the plagues of the past and how to study bones for proof of pathology and disease, and blahblah, and it was during the 2020 pandemic, so shit like that was in everyone's mind.

WeLL! *claps hands

There was a point where the black plague came into discussion, because of course it did, and he gave a bunch mumbo jumbo about it and i remember him mentioning that the spread of it originated in asia, which im not gonna lie, was a bit surprising to me. so i raised my lil stupid ass hand, and he called on me eagerly, and i said *cue hermione granger voice "But sir...isn't the black plague just another resurgence of the much earlier Justinian plague that wreaked its way through the Mediterranean and Europe?"

and he clapped his hands like i'd sung opera and was like yES it IS PLS TAKE MY CLASS. and i had no intention of doing that so i just giggled like a dame, but he was like floored that some rando knew anything about the justinian plague, even to name it, and he quite literally begged me to take his class multiple times because of that little blip of knowledge i had. and it was like no i'm not actually smart and this is not my special interest; it just so happens that my gay characters, they lived through that shit, that's all haha

he eventually explained exactly how both the justinian plague and black death outbreaks started in china and india / nepal area via genetic uhhh tracing of what is it, Y. pestis? and like where it traveled and stuff from there, and i learned a lot, but yeah.

there's me answer. i've had this ask for a quite a while, so i'm sorry, but it's the perfect time to answer it now because *drumroll my 2020 chapter is next in line

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Yo' Feets Too Big! and the Social Model of Disability

The social model of disability is a thing. Oh, fuck, that's a lot of words, though. And very abstract. That doesn't seem relevant to my interests. I'ma just scroll on by and look for a cute picture of a...

No, no, I mean a cute picture of a...

Damn it.

All right, look, although I can't help but use a lot of words, I promise I'll make this funny, and I'll give you one more cute animal at the end.

Let's imagine an alternate world where we all lost our goddamn minds sometime near the beginning of the Industrial Revolution and decided we were only going to manufacture the most popular sizes of shoe. The mediums. The "normals." So let's say 7/8 for the ladies and 9/10 for the men. Wow, ha-ha, that's so weird. I wonder what that would do to us?

It turns out a lot of people in this world have a disease they call Peets Syndrome, named after the man who discovered it in - oh, let's give them a little credit - 1916. Lord Rodney Covington Smythe Anal Fissure Peets happened to notice, during the Great War, that some of the boys were way more susceptible to trench foot than the others. Sometimes their feet just fell right the fuck off. A lot of these boys were cutting holes and slits in their boots for some silly reason. The Army told them to stop doing that and produced several educational films on the matter, but it just didn't seem to help. The boys complained that their feet hurt. A lot. Like, constantly. The only thing that helped was cutting holes or slits in the boots, or just not wearing them at all.

After much study and a few vivisections of brown people and dogs (Lord Peets was too wealthy to serve and had a lot of free time, and possibly late-stage syphilis), Lord Peets discovered some boys had a physical deformity that made them incapable of wearing shoes. Perhaps they were a lesser-evolved species of Man, or part-Irish, but I repeat myself. "Peets Syndrome" was added to a list of conditions that invalidated young men out of military service, society reevaluated its standards of what it meant to "look Irish" or otherwise ethnic, and Lord Peets went on to become quite a successful serial killer, but let's not get into that.

Peets Syndrome was eventually found to effect women too. In - oh, again, let's not make them too stupid - 1954. There was some indication beginning in the 40s, when women were allowed out of the kitchen and began doing industrial jobs that required shoes. At first it was dismissed as some form of hysteria, indicating women's feeble brains and delicate bodies were unsuited for the workforce. Treatments included aspirin, tranquilizers, patting them on the head and telling them "Your test results are normal, you are fine," and, in some cases, lobotomy and institutionalization. Oopsie! It turned out some women were too deformed for shoes too, and now it was starting to look like they had a serious problem. Perhaps even an epidemic.

You see, by 1954, the world was already designed by - and for - people who could wear shoes. If you can't wear shoes, there's a lot you just can't do. If the weather is bad or the terrain is rough, you may not even be able to get to the store to buy food. With the stigma coming from its original association with subhumans and the Irish, polite society insisted upon whole, unmodified shoes, even in situations that didn't require them, like desk jobs and public transportation.

Parents feared a Peets diagnosis for their children, most common in their teenage years. This dread disease would relegate them to low-status, menial labour, and make it near-impossible for them to earn a living. Certainly, there was no point in letting "Peetsies" continue their education, or wasting money sending them to college. As a preventative measure, many parents began bracing their children's feet in adolescence or earlier, availing themselves of "painless" surgeries to remove "pesky toes," and piling phone books on top of their little heads (Peets Syndrome did seem to show a strong correlation with tallness).

When "obesity" was discovered by Dr. O. M. G. Obese in 1969, its correlation with Peets was affirmed soon afterwards, and it became necessary to put the children on diets - first on high-sugar, low-fat ones, then (another oopsie!) low-sugar and high-fat, and then... God, nothing seemed to be working! Maybe they ought to eat essential oils? Or spider eggs? Let's feed people actual spiders, maybe that will help!

Already, there were whispers that vaccines administered in the early teen years caused "Peetsism." Anyway, tetanus and diphtheria weren't a big deal. Somebody had to do something about the mounting numbers of teenagers and "late-diagnosed" adults with Peets!

Then, in the 1980s, in an ecstatic state of conservatism under Reagan and Thatcher, the US and UK governments decided to stop making shoes in sizes 8 and 9. Austerity! Responsibility! Belt-tightening and efficiency! Humanity could be served perfectly well by one size of women's shoe, and one size of men's. And, oh-no, the Peets diagnoses exploded. Nobody had any idea what was causing this. Plastics? Teflon? New Coke? Low-quality spiders from China?

Not to be racist, but could it be - the Irish?

Also, what the heck, people were getting tetanus and diphtheria in numbers unheard of since the invention of the vaccine. Conservative politicians, of course, lamented the lax liberal immigrations policies (a dog-whistle understood to mean "allowing the Irish to live here and breed") and wept that, "When I was a child, nobody had even heard of Peets!" "Vaccine choice" became a popular talking point.

Meanwhile, trans people, with a resigned sigh, added "And get foot surgery, I guess?" to the long list of expensive hoops they needed to jump through to have their existence even a little bit affirmed.

Society was way more concerned with how expensive it was to cope with the Peetsies. Green walkways with short grass, elevated sidewalk crossings, and adaptive shoes would require a total redesign of infrastructure and industry. And allowing people to walk around in public with their creepy weird feet all naked and visible would require a total restructuring of social norms. Couldn't these goddamn freaks get their shit together, or at least stop existing so loudly? Normal people were getting awfully sick of hearing about Peets!

After the discovery of "Micro-Peets" - a new disorder that left teens and adults still able to wear shoes, but caused blisters and injuries because somehow the shoes were too big - many people just threw up their hands in abject frustration. Saturday Night Live produced a truly hilarious sketch in which Chris Kattan, as a bumbling physician, diagnosed the entire audience with various forms of Peets, including Micro, Macro, Macaroni (portrayed by guest star Tom Hanks, with manicotti on every toe), Quantum and "Invisipeets." The cure, of course, was more spiders.

All-in-all, by the time the 2019 pandemic rolled around, "covid toes" were considered a net positive, and the disproportionate number of Peets deaths seemed indicative of the fact that Peetsies were fundamentally broken. The growing "Peets Power" movement was dismissed as misguided at best, and a possibly a public health hazard. New York, California, British Columbia and Tumblr were considered hyper-liberal outliers. J. K Rowling, in her latest Twitter meltdown, called all of them "icky."

I know this bit is wearing thin, so let me just generate a few random headlines you might find if you searched for "peets news today" on the internet:

-Peets Increasingly Common in US Black and Hispanic Children

-Top 10 DIY Shoe Mods for Peetsie Adults!

-"Peets Friendly Education" Budget Cut Again, Ted Cruz Suggests "Bake Sales"

-Feel Good News: MIT Students Design "Size 11" Shoe That Allows Disadvantaged Black Teen to Play Basketball with His Peers!

-Pfizer Increases Prescription Shoe Cost Again, "Size 12" Now Costs $1,500 Per Shoe

-"Don't Say Peets" Bill Gaining Traction in Florida and Arizona

-Opinion: Ontario Woman Demands, "Why Did It Take 15 Years to Diagnose Me with Micro-Peets?"

-February Designated "Peets Awareness Month," Biden Says "Black people can share."

-"Adaptive Peets Therapy" Unsuccessful, Traumatic, "Life-Threatening" for Toddlers and Young Children

-Anti-Trans Group Demands "Shoe Locks" to Protect Women's Spaces

-Peets Diagnosis Associated with Depression, Anxiety for Some Reason

-Spider and Apple Cider Vinegar Smoothie Top New Health Drink!

OK. Have a little giggle, if you're inclined. Dry your eyes, blow your nose, and look around. Any of that seem familiar? Well, that's because disability is a function of society, not the individual. Got it? Cool.

Here's a picture of a baby duck.

[likes-history-a-normal-amount]

Long time lurker first time caller, taking my first dip into having a side blog— don’t know what to make as my pinned intro but I will try my best!!!

Hello!!! My name is rosy (they/he/she), I am in my 20s, and I love talking history!! Also will be reposting art and pretty/goofy architecture!!!

Might talk about whatever current history deep dive I am in!!!

I am autistic so while I don’t always use tone indicators I do find them very very helpful!!

So feel free to ask for tone clarification!!

I also am trying to get in the habit of doing image descriptions (IDs). I’ve been going back and trying to retroactively add them as well as add them moving forward but if I miss one PLEASE tell me!!!!!

[GIF Description: a big brown bear in a thick grassy field behind a mesh wire barrier/fence. the bear is a sitting on its hind legs and waving at the person who is recording from inside their car. End ID]

Current Book(s): The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History by John M. Berry as well as the book LAttitues: An Angeleno’s Atlas

(I tend to get sidetracked while reading by looking at its historical context so it may therefore—like it does with anyone else— impact the way I analyze art and history for a bit) (also I am trying to get back into reading and sometimes read a bit slow or randomly switch books 😢 so don’t expect the book to change or genuinely get finished too often lolol)

Last Book: Phantom Plague: How Tuberculosis Shaped History by Vidya Krishnan

Wow!!! Very good but not the most happy books (understandably) Super informative and so many parallels to the current pandemic! Everyone should read this if not to be better familiar with a disease that’ll definitely be talked about more again in the coming future

Last Last Book: Piranesi by Suzanna Clarke

Wowow loved this book!! Such a cool and interesting format, walked into it blind and I think that was a great choice to make!! Another banger recommendation from Shayne Topp from iCarly!!

[GIF Description: an already wet polar bear charging up and the jumping through a patch of ice over a body of water. the bear kind of jumps, the ice breaks, THEN he goes through, a bit cute and clunky and definitely not a skillful and fluid motion. the bear’s butt goes through very last, almost slumping in, much slower than the initial push and dive it does. End ID]

In college I studied business (economics and labor rights were my favorite topics) and theatre (mostly tech and theory, not acting) so perspectives can often come from those lenses!! I most definitely have blind spots as I am a white person in the US and from a pretty progressive city, so criticism and corrections in my msgs are always welcome!! if you know good resources outside of what I post that you think will help me gain a new perspective or understand a topic further I would love to hear it!!

Art reblogged will probably be more focused on older art pieces/artifacts, just to keep it more separate for my brain between the newer art I repost on my main

[GIF Description: forest landscape containing the midsection of a few trees. during the gif a sun bear climbs up one of the trees in a sort of one paw after the other motion; kind of like someone cautiously climbing a rope, but the sun bear seems very determined, yet relaxed and sure of itself. the tree is about large enough for its paws to mostly wrap around but small enough that you would expect it to sway if it was any smaller. when the bear goes up it. The bears mouth is slightly open, seemingly breathing out of that instead of its nose, making it appear a little goofy looking. End ID]

History Interest Stuff::

BIG into Los Angeles history, specifically the history of Griffith Park (I could talk about that for hours!!) would love to chat about community spaces being epicenters for cultural change, especially Griffith and it’s use by all demographics during times when that was atypical (bc of vague deed details please ask more I love telling people abt it). Or it’s darker less talked about involvement in post ww1-cold war.

Love 20th century history, but not in the often questionable ‘I like world war tactics/weapons/military leaders’ way, I’m more into ww1, 2, and Cold War pre and post war causes, implications, and consequences.

Been into learning abt british colonialism in Ireland and its history of religious persecution and its cause on later british colonialism!!

[GIF Description: someone cutting into a loaf of bread on a cutting board. it is brown and shaped like a teddy bear. It has lighter tan/white bread in the areas where the face and rear paws are. It has darker brown/black bread as eyes, nose/mouth, ears, and the paw pads on rear legs. End ID]

Ok I think that is all again I lurk far more than post bc I am shy 🙈🤣😜🐻😱 and bad at talking to people

[cutebabygurl]

To those who are choosing their courses, PLS PLS PLS CHOOSE THE COURSE THAT YOU WILL TRIVE IN. CHOOSE A COURSE THAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN, CHOOSE A COURSE THAT WONT MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE!!! I choose a course in the medical field and wow! All of my personality is gone! 2yrs of online classes and 1yr of ftf classes results in depression. 1 thing i can say about being a student in the medical field is that ITS FUCKING BORING!!! SO BORING THAT DEATH WOULD BE CONSIDERED A SAFE HEAVEN. YOU WILL MEMORIES A TON OF SHIT. DISEASE AND SHIT. ANATOMY AND SHIT. AND ALL KINDS OF SHIT. YOU WILL BE UNMOTIVATED TO STUDY BECAUSE YOU DONT EVEN LIKE THE COURSE IN THE FIRST PLACE. LETS NOT THINK ABOUT MONEY AND HOW YOU WILL DISSAPOINT YOUR PARENTS FIRST. LETS TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYDAY FEELS LIKE EVERY LECTURE CHIPS AWAY EVERY SENSE OF YOUR BEING. WEHEN I GO TO SCHOOL I FEEL LIKE A GHOST!!! THERES NO HAPPINESS OR SADNESS INSIDE OF ME, I FEEL NOTHING AND SOMETIMES I WANNA GET HIT BY BUS AND MAYBE I WILL FEEL SOMETHING! I HATE LIVING LIKE THIS, BUT I HATE MEMORISING SHIT MORE! THERE NO CRITICAL THINKING IN THIS COURSE NO CREATIVITY INVOLVE NO TEAMWORK. MEDICAL COURSES ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE AND IT SURE AS HELL IT AINT FOR ME!!!, I WANNA GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!! "OH BUT YOU WILL GET SO MUCH MONEY ONCE YOU WILL GET A LICENSE" GRANDMA! TIMES HAVE CHANGE! GIRLS ON ONLY FANS EARN MORE THAN DOCTORS NOW!!! IF MONEY IS ALL THERE IS TO SECURE A BETTER FUTURE, THEN ID RATHER DIE! I WANNA STRIVE FOR WHAT I LOVE FROM NOW ON!

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you think Alec and Magnus use condoms? How do you think warlocks deal with STD?

REALLY interesting question, i must say that i love it. thank you anon. i hope you know that i will take it way too seriously

okay, so the first question is, ARE magnus and alec susceptible to STDs? unexpected p-words are not a problem because warlocks are sterile anyway (and, if you subscribe to both magnus and alec being of the same AGAB, also because it's not possible to get both gametes or whatever), so let's focus on the STD aspect (really important!). i think human STDs would not affect them, or at least not magnus. maybe alec because shadowhunters are notably more susceptible to weaknesses humans have, like disease and mortality and whatnot. but would human STDs affect warlocks?

i tend to go with no, because warlocks are immortal. immortality, especially as it is built in the sh verse (immortals can be killed but their body won't die on its own) kind of implies that they have, like, supercells or superorgans or something, that don't deteriorate - or, alternatively, that can rebuild way faster than they could be deterioriated. im saying that because stuff like aging and eventually dying is essentially the process in which your body can no longer replace dying cells at the same speed at which they die, which leads to your body weakening as a lot of its functions are impaired. therefore, immortality as in not aging and not dying on your own but still being able to be killed if you are, say, stabbed, implies that that process simply doesn't happen. so we have one of the two: either the cells don't die, or the speed at which they are replaced never changes

in my understanding, this implies that diseases don't affect immortals. maybe they can even contract them, but their body is too strong for it to have an effect. like having a disease without symptoms. but i tend to believe that rather than living with 8945134081 deadly viruses and bacteria inside them just sleeping around, the viruses and bacteria simply can't live inside them - both because superbody means super-immunological system and because superbody means that the bacteria and viruses essentially have no place to grow in, as they can't break their cells or whatever it is that that particular strain does

like - and that is true particularly for viruses as far as i remember, not so much bacteria - the way these mfs work is that they attack the cells of a body and use them to reproduce. but if you are talking about a body that has cells that are essentially unbreakable or so highly regenerative any attack on them is dealt with so quickly it doesn't even have an effect, i don't think any virus should be able to break into their cells in the first place. they would die without reproducing and bam, done. if you are going with the second theory (warlock cells do die, they just can keep replacing them as much as they want without a problem) then you probably have a situation where the virus can reproduce, but its reproduction doesn't lead to any problems because the dead cells are replaced as fast as they are killed. in that case, the warlock would be, technically, carrying the disease indefinitely. but i tend to think that considering how strong that body is and the fact that they have an immunological system (as they are half human and have no reason not to inherit that from their human parents) that is ALSO mega strong would mean these viruses would probably be eliminated quickly

bacterial diseases are different since mostly what bacterias do (again as far as i remember) is that they live inside the body, not necessarily inside the cells, but using the body's space to reproduce, and eventually their presence - usually due to the fact that they produce toxic elements that affect the host - leads to nearby cells dying/the space they are in deteriorating, etc. but again warlock's cells are either essentially unbreakable or highly regenerative, so that wouldn't be a problem, and they could overpower invasive bacteria easily before a colony could form. so, no human bacterial diseases would be able to flourish, either

and that's not even considering the fact that as they are half human they probably have an immunological system that is ALSO superstrong and therefore able to fuck up any disease causers. or the role magic might take in protecting the body, like, who's to say the magic itself doesn't kill any invasive bacteria or viruses that come into the body before it can do anything? why not?

so all of that, allied with the fact that many viruses and bacteria are evolved to develop within the systems of a particular species (for example, that particular virus has evolved to grow in a cow's digestive system, and therefore can't survive for long in a monkey's or a human's), is interpreted by me as "warlocks can't contract human diseases", since warlocks are a different species from humans, as are shadowhunters. sure, they're hybrids, which makes this part of the argument a little more complicated but obviously their demon side is stronger than their human side, since they are immortal. and demons definitely aren't getting rabies or whatever because that is just too fucking lame

so okay! no human STDs. we have established that now. bUT, i think it's possible that warlocks are able to contract their OWN diseases - strains that attack warlocks specifically, particularly a warlock's magic, since again they kind of have a superbody but i feel like the magic is a more fragile thing, especially as they aren't fully magical (because they're half human)

don't ask me how these work <3 obviously magic can interact with non-magical beings and elements so maybe there are bacteria are viruses that developed specifically to settle in magical components, but that sounds like a huge evolutive leap since magic is so different from like, cells. or maybe there are also magical beings that work as disease transmitters in a similar but essentially different way. and they probably can also be transmitted via sex because i mean, why not? sounds as good a mean as any

but, could magnus and alec transmit those to each other? i don't think so, because shadowhunters have wildly different magic from the one warlocks do - their magic is angel magic, warlock's is demon magic, AND, furthermore, they work in completely different ways. for starters, shadowhunters magic is so pathetic diluted that some of them don't even consider it magic at all. i mean, that is also because of good ole racism (hardly the first time racism led people to call the exact same thing by different names so they can convince themselves their way of being is superior even when it is the same) but there is a huge difference because warlocks are able to conjure and interact with magic and have it as a part of their beings and experience of the world through it, whereas shadowhunters can "borrow" particular powers for a small period of time at best. it is possible that the magic doesn't even exist within them, they are just capable of handling it inside their bodies for some time, which is why they need runes to use it and it has a limited effect

so i think diseases that affect warlocks could not be passed between magnus and alec, and WOW is it weird to realize that magnus and alec are of different species. like i knew that but when that knowledge comes to practice it's just so weird. anyway

and idk if diseases that affect warlocks would be able to live dormant inside shadowhunters and then be transmitted because, like i said, shadowhunters have completely different magic if they even have it at all, and i don't think the disease beings that live in warlock magic would be able to be inside their body. so, to answer your first question - i don't think magnus and alec would NEED condoms, because i don't think they are capable of passing STDs to each other, and in at the very least magnus' case (debatable for alec, i tend to think that because shadowhunters are essentially human they can catch any disease humans can, altho maybe they have a rune to begone them) i don't think they can even catch human STDs. and magnus has a cum kink so that probably means no condoms

as for how warlocks deal with STDs! like i said i think they are only affected by STDs (and diseases in general) that affect their magic, not their body. so, they probably have treatments for those. we gotta remember that warlocks have a very developed society full of academics, so they probably have worked to find cures for magical diseases, if they exist at all. so, there are probably particular treatments for those. i don't think magical diseases abound or anything, particularly because the amount of magical beings is pretty limited and magic is so different from non-magical elements so non-magical beings such as viruses and bacteria would have to change a lot to be able to evolve into magic-affecting beings. again, if they even exist. but yeah i think they as a (group of) society(ies) have worked on cures for those. which is funny to think about because like, do they blast the magical diseases with begone rays or something? please say yes. id love that

with all of that being said, i hope u know that i was planning on answering asks the next weekend (not this one, the other one) cuz ive been busy as hell lately and it'll be the first time i'll have time lmao, and i was literally just in a bathroom break between readings when i saw this ask and i just couldn't resist answering it. this is it. what broke my studying resolve. magical STDs. you should be proud

mandatory disclaimer that please for the love of god use condoms, you are not immune to STDs. also, this post is about show canon, not book canon, so i don't care if this is in accordance to what the books say. also, i'm no expert in healthcare, this post is just for fun, so don't take anything i used to build my arguments as scientific truth or anything like that

[sachiwrites]

some friends to lovers hcs for sakusa pls? i've been thirsting over him for a while and seeing him in the recent manga chapters plus season 4 is just--

same fam, same. its been a whole mess over here. yikes this got long

— you are 210% that neighbor who his parents rely on to acclimate their son into being a somewhat decent member of society. is it a hardy task for someone at the age of six? yeah. was sakusa an absolute shit at that age too? of course. but he stopped that one kid from pulling your hair in class that day so he’s basically your unofficial hero. even if it was only because apparently you had ‘cooties’.

— naturally you continued to have this unknown disease for most of your life. but apparently so did everyone else in Japan. except when you got older it simply became known as- physical contact.

— “kiyoomi, why don’t you play outside with your friend?”

—“ they’re dirty.”

— sticks and stone may break your bones but the mud streaked across your face and hands would most certainly kill sakusa. or at least that’s what you thought at the age of seven when you went grab him off his front porch anyway. he sort of whined and pushed you for it, causing you to fall back on your rear, much to his parents obvious disdain. or as so you gathered as you smirked over their shoulder as they carried you inside, earning an extra few years of sakusa’s ire.

— “yoomi, lets play tag.”

— “it’s kiyoomi. and no, play by yourself.”

— “sakusa-san, yoomi doesn’t want to-“

— “run”

— the two of you were ‘reluctant’ friends until the age of eight. more or less, sakusa was required to spend at least half an hour outside with you a daily. half way through that the tenture you had mercy on him and introduced him to video games within the safety of his own home. sakusa has zero interest in crash bandicoot, but he likes you a little more for your concede.

— but his parents knew what they were doing when they put their son’s social reputation into your hands. for a while you were his only friend but occasionally you were able to integrate him into society. through little things like sitting down your lunch next to his and offering to be his partner in project.

— “i don’t need your help with this.”

— “maybe, but i need yours, so pretty please.”

— sakusa was a young genius and it would benefit you to take advantage of that feature. call it payment for all your years of servitude.

— the only time you found yourself not needing to be a crutch in his life was when he was playing volleyball. it was an option during recess to give the students an opportunity to scout out interests in athletic ventures. the sport was almost too perfect for sakusa- as an indoor requirement with almost no physical contact. it was his niche. a part of society that catered to his needs in a way that didn’t require your intervention.

— naturally, others began taking notice of his talents. other students were more likely to invite him for games during breaks- most knowing to keep their distance and touch to a limit. his own enjoyment of the sport slowly geared him towards pseudo-friendships that allowed him to play more and garner his skill set.

— “im going to try out for the volleyball club.”

— of course you knew this much. it was what he was so obviously looking forward to the most in junior high. it was just his decision to share his own thought with you the struck home.

— “yeah? i guess i should get some cheers ready for you games, eh?”

— he flinches away from your enthusiasm, his face portraying a mistake in letting you know so soon. but not once did he ever deter you from coming. in fact, you continued to be made aware of each an every upcoming match regardless of importance.

— “we have a practice match against haizen today.”

— wasn’t the most significant but he invited you so you’d be there. probably more vocal than you needed to be but he could mark your attendance and that’s all that mattered.

— a small part of you was worried that volleyball would take your place. it obviously had more suitable attributes than you. but it almost became a staple in your evolving relationship.

— in fact the first game you missed inflicted the first real argument you could remember having with sakusa. it surprised even his parents when you met him the next day to walk to class. you were use to a quiet shoulder but not a cold shoulder.

— “is something wrong?”

— it continued for most of the trip until you couldn’t take it anymore and reached for his arm. instead of shaking you off, he turns on you, gaze lit a flame with an emotion you didn’t recognize.

— “i had a game and you didn’t show up.”

— thinking back you did recall most of the students congregating towards the gym after class. it vaguely registered but you’d seen less of sakusa that day and more of pressing from your teacher to get your grades in order.

— “i had to stay back with my instructor. i needed help with my studies.”

— it was a little embarrassing- not something you wanted to admit. especially to someone like sakusa who obviously excelled where you fell short.

— “you’re an idiot. you come to me for that. ill help you after my games.”

— perphas it was in that moment that you should have realized that sakusa was more cognitive of his reliance than you were.

— what he does realize it how much he’s going to have to help you if he intended for you to join him at itachiyama. the school had shown interest in him earlier than year and it was mutual. but it’s prestige called for academics when sports weren’t your strong suit.

— matches weren’t the only appointments sakusa held you to. nearly everyday after class, whether your place or his, he made himself present while you studied. he wasn’t an overbearing tutor but he called you out in your faults and made you aware of mistakes before they became a habit. he wasn’t going to make you a super genius but you would become a student worthy of acceptance.

— the two of you were building something that only your parents noticed at first while watching from the doorway. itachiyama would be a dynamic chapter for both of you.

— the title of that chapter is: volleyball. because wow does that become an even bigger part of your life. itachiyama was already a powerhouse before sakusa but now he’s a cog in the wheel and an important one at that. quickly climbing ranks and becoming an imperative part of the team. if only he was more receptive to his newly popular status.

— he was still the same old germaphobe- avoiding crowds and wanting to get home as soon as possible to shower in his own tub instead of the school issued ones.

— his personality sort of highlighted your presence more than you expected. but given sakusa’s overall avoidance of unnecessary interactions, it shouldn’t have been much of a surprise.

— “he can be a bit much, but please take care of him.”

— above your bowed head, his older teammate coo and awe at sakusa’s cute little friend. this of course leads to more teasing for him but it’s all part of being part of a team- a larger whole. something you were willing to give up a bit of sakusa for.

— “are you two dating or something?”

— oh but that. you get a lot of that. not just by his teammates either. everyone seems to notice how sakusa tolerates you more than anyone else. though part of you wants to point out to his fan base that they would get a lot further if they just gave him his space. -yet here you were huddled up close in the library while he looked over your school work, so what could you say to that?

— “are you paying attention?”

— “hey, i got most of these right. give me a break.”

— not thinking about it, you go to ruffle his hair as a retort. an action sure to give you his ire- but it doesn’t? in fact his gaze doesn’t even lift from his book. and is he leaning closer? weird.

— sakusa is making rapid progress not only within tokyo but on a national level. it’s one of his teammates that points out his accomplishments to you one day while you’re waiting for sakusa to emerge from the locker rooms.

— “your boyfriend is really something else. already the ace of the team and he’s climbing the stats nationally too. you must be proud.”

— you are proud. very impressed, in fact. but sakusa is not your boyfriend. an important note that you most certainly do not get to point out because now sakusa is here and is corralling you towards the exit from his pressure of his chest against your back.

— he’s much more hands on now. less in tolerating your touch and more so initiating his own. it’s a late realization but most of your attention is stuck on that same teammate who is waving mischievously from the door.

— but oh man. it’s becoming a lot more obvious to you now when sakusa offers to hold you books while you change your shoes, and holding on to them even as you travel to class. he sits a little bit closer to you during study hall now, the erratic hitter of your knee brushing against his with every jerk up.

— “...are you okay, ‘yoomi?”

— he doesn’t complain about the name. not even a pinch of his brow, just confusion as he peers down at you.

— “im fine.”

— huh

— it’s all fun and games until his fingers catch yours one day while you walk side by side. it seemed like a fluke, just an accidental swing and bump. but then they’re latching and now you’re connected?

— “yoomi?”

— “it’s cold”

— yeah. okay, fair enough.

— periodic becomes occasional and now it’s a habit.

— and of course everyone takes notice. because sure sakusa tolerates you more than most. but now there’s a basis for it.

— “ah, so tables have turned.”

— “i knew it.”

— “top in the nation and already dating. our little kohai is such a pillar.”

— you’re beyond overwhelmed. worse because kiyoomi looks mildly irritated but doesn’t seem to be denying any of it.

— and you just have to ask.

— “yoomi are we dating?”

— because wow, only yesterday it seemed like he was still just your best friend. one who held your hand, shared his lunch, fell asleep on your shoulder in more than one occasion-

“— “we’re together. we’ve always been.”

— okay, yeah but context here.

— but then he’s dragging down the mask across his face, letting it hang under his chin. his lips are on your temple and phew, that’s new.

— “we should get home. i have a match tomorrow.”

— a game that becomes a statement in more ways than one.

— “ooh, is that sakusa’s jacket? so the rumors are true.”

— you fumble with the sleeves that seems to be determined to swallow up your hands. when he’d first offered it to you, it seemed so natural.

— “you might get cold.”

— god your boyf-... friend was so confusing.

— “not really. he hasn’t asked.”

— your classmate seems unconvinced but doesn’t comment further. that’s doesn’t say the same for the rest of the class who use every opportunity to chip at your resolve.

— “haven’t they been dating the whole time?”

— “they always hold hands now.”

— “i mean that’s his jacket isn’t it? it’s he like a germaphobe?”

— it’s getting harder to concentrate on the game. and certainly doesn’t help with every glance sakusa tosses up into the stands. by the end of the match, you’re beyond frazzled and ready to just sakusa the second he emerges from the gym.

— his teammate offer thanks in exchange for your praises on a game well won. it helps to distract you for a brief moment-but there he is now.

— his fingers slip befeeen yours like they belong and you can’t find the voice to complain. after congratulating him, there’s not much more said on your part. he walks you to your doorstep, not just the entrance, and lets his hand fall away. yet you both linger.

— “are we-“

— “are you-“

— when it comes down to it. obviously sakusa fails when it comes to words and actions seem to speak clearly.

— sakusa doesn’t protest when you reach up and undo his face mask for him. going as far as to lower his head, aware of your intentions, when you lean in.

— it’s a short kiss. a testing peck to balance in the shallow end before diving deep. his nose nudges yours and it’s your laugh that breaks the kiss.

— kiss-with kiyoomi sakusa-your once reluctant friend and now?

— sakusa leans in again. this time his hand on your shoulder for stabilization. there’s no tongue or extra touches. it’s just the act.

— life is all about changes.

— you smile and decide, yeah, you can do this.

— before he can leave, however, he’s tugging at the collar of his jacket.

— “i prefer to use my own detergent. but you can have it back tomorrow.”

— or maybe just some adjustments.

[feeling-uncomfy]

Part two!! I hope you enjoy- I'm really enjoying writing this! :D

There are no specific warnings, just Tokoyami having no clue how to talk to people and then fucking up when talking to hot dudes. Also there's a mention of COPD (I did a little research)

Enioy!

Hawks was there in ten, dragging Tokoyami behind him. Tokoyami grumbled until the door opened again, and he looked up to tell the person to fuck off, but froze.

Gang Orca walked in, bodyguards flanking him, but that's not what caught his eye. Oh no, not the people who could flick him and kill him, damn his size.

It was the boy who followed him in, eyes darting around the lobby, curious and almost.. afraid? He was tall, and the lower half of his face was covered by a skintight mask, while the top half was mostly covered by bangs, hanging low over his eyes no matter how much he swiped them out of his face.

He was muscular, but he seemed so gentle, with a nervous kind of excitement while walking in. He stuck to Gang Orca's side like glue, never straying too far. Tokoyami genuinely found himself frozen, his face burning a bright red at the sight of him. He was shaken from his staring by Hawks brushing past him to greet their guests.

"This is Tokoyami, say hello." Tokoyami blinked up at the boy, who stares right back. Neither said anything, but they didn't need to, really. The taller one broke the silence by bowing at the hip and speaking.

"Hello," the boy kept his head low, and didn't say anything else, almost like he wasn't sure he could. Tokoyami blinked dumbly again before straightening up.

"You don't have to bow, do I look like royalty to you?"

Tokoyami and Hawks winced in unison at Tokoyami's poor choice of words. Luckily, the boy laughed it off as if it was normal to be spoken to in such a way. Tokoyami bristled, and Gang Orca didn't comment.

Hawks spoke over Tokoyami's apology. "Gang Orca, my office should be an okay place for us to talk, Shouji, Tokoyami, why don't you two wait in the lounge?" Gang Orca almost moved in to stop them, but stopped at Shouji's enthusiastic nod.

Tokoyami found himself leading this absolutely handsome, dreamy boy, who's name he now knew to be Shouji, into the lounge. Wow.

He opened the door, and once Shouji was inside, he stood politely in the corner, not a word left his mouth. Tokoyami looked over, confused.

Shouji felt eyes on him, and he looked over to see Tokoyami staring. Instinctively tensing, Shouji fought to find something to say. People weren't really his thing, in fact, new places in general weren't his thing.

Nevertheless, when he'd been told he was going to actually be going somewhere that wasn't a bunker, Shouji didn't think of the consequences when he nodded. Being outside was something that happened once in a blue moon, and while he knew why, he couldn't help but want to be out there, doing something.

He had little to no involvement with the company Gang Orca ran, yet he knew the facility better than even the longest working person there. He probably knew the place better than Gang Orca. Shouji looked around the room, curiosity winning over his preemptive fear.

Forgetting the other person in the room, Shouji walked around and explored the room. Picking up things of interest, putting it back exactly where he had found it. Well, out of habit he organised it a little, but he didn't think about it as he went from item to item, mumbling to himself as he looked through the books.

It wasn't until Tokoyami spoke up that Shouji was brought out of his own world. "What are you doing?" Tokoyami once again winced at his tone. He sounded like Hawks talking to a rude dealer, and Tokoyami shook his head and focused on the guest he'd just startled. Shouji almost dropped the book he was holding. Almost.

"Looking, am I not allowed?" Tokoyami strained to hear him, Shouji naturally talking in a quiet voice. Tokoyami tilted his head at the response, more so how nervous it sounded. "Yeah, you are. I was just confused," Shouji seemed to relax at the words and went back to what he was doing.

Tokoyami watched him move from shelf to shelf, in a world of his own. He wasn't sure why Shouji was so interested in the lounge, it was just full of little collectables that Hawks has gathered over the years. But to Shouji, this seemed to be a whole treasure trove, full of wonders he didn't know existed.

Tokoyami caught glances at his eyes, how they lit up at every new thing he saw. It was endearing, and Tokoyami found himself smiling softly just watching him. It was as if Shouji could see things Tokoyami couldn't, and from how he studied each item, Tokoyami became more convinced he actually could.

But there was something to his curiosity. Tokoyami could go down the street and see half of these things, without fail he could point out where Hawks got them. Either he wasn't as observant as Tokoyami thought, or Shouji had genuinely never seen them before.

"Shouji?" Tokoyami almost snorted at how quickly Shouji put the thing he was holding back where he found it. "Yeah?" Tokoyami looked him up and down before speaking. "Have you.. ever seen these before?" It seemed innocent enough, and Tokoyami didn't miss the way Shouji had started to fidget.

"I-... haven't seen them in person, no." Tokoyami let his confusion show on his face, obviously, and Shouji was quick to explain. "I've seen them in photos, or I've seen them from a distance, but I've never been so close, they're even better up close," Shouji was on a tangent now, pointing out the things he held, giving little facts about them that Tokoyami didn't know before.

For his extensive knowledge, Tokoyami found that Shouji had never actually seen them, or held them. Weird. Tokoyami tuned the talking out, wondering why Shouji hadn't seen them. It wasn't as if they were very rare, in fact, they were common enough for Hawks and Endeavor to compete to get the most.

Hawks won, obviously. He was a hoarder, and a nasty one at that. Anything he could get, he did. Tokoyami was positive Hawks had maxed out one if his credit cards by the end of it.

Getting back on topic, Shouji was still on about a book, oblivious to Tokoyami's spacing out and the large book about to fall off a higher shelf, directly onto his head. Tokoyami glanced up at it and jumped when it wobbled before falling.

Panicking, Tokoyami shot forward, reaching out and yanking Shouji towards him. Unfortunately, Tokoyami completely forgot about the fact that Shouji towered over him, and since Shouji wasn't given a warning, they both were sent to the floor in a heap.

Tokoyami prepared himself to be crushed, but was surprised to find he landed on something soft. Maybe there was a cushion on the floor Tokoyami hadn't seen. That theory was proven wrong when the heard a loud thump. Someone definitely hit the foor.

Tokoyami opened his eyes and was met with grey. It was soft and oddly comfortable, and Tokoyami found himself just laying there, enjoying the pillow. That was, until Shouji spoke from someone above him. "Tokoyami? Are you okay there?" His voice was a lot softer than Tokoyami imagined it would be, up close.

Still, he looked up and froze. Shouji had turned them over, taking the fall and saving Tokoyami the trouble and pain. Tokoyami blinked up at him, realising that his face had just been in his guest's chest, shamelessly basking in its comfort.

To say Tokoyami jumped out of his arms was an understatement. He practically teleported. Shouji blinked before snorting quietly and sitting up. "Sorry about that, you weren't hurt, right?"

Tokoyami looked at Shouji, and couldn't help but think about how pretty his eyes were, Tokoyami could see the concern in them, genuine and kind. Unfortunately, Tokoyami ruined the moment by snapping.

"I can take a hit, you know. I'm not made of glass."

Tokoyami froze at Shouji's eyes widening, and took a step back when he stood up. Tokoyami was half expecting a punch to the face, but felt even worse when Shouji kept his head firmly facing the floor. "Right- right, I'm sorry.." Shouji's voice was even quieter than usual, hesitance ringing clearly.

Fuck. Tokoyami had fucked up. He tried to fix it, carefully stepping closer. "I- it wasn't meant to come out like that, I'm sorry," Tokoyami reached out, only to have Shouji flinch. It was small, but not unnoticeable. Tokoyami pulled his hand back quicker than intended, making Shouji shuffle back. Well, Tokoyami had just earned the title "Asshole of the year" and he couldn't even blame Hawks.

Shouji crossed his arms. He really wanted to make a good first impression, but he messed that up, and Tokoyami probably didn't like him. Shouji looked at the floor and fought the urge to get out of the room. He understood now why he wasn't always allowed outside, he messed up whenever he talked to people.

Shouji opened his mouth to apologise when the door opened again. Hawks was there, not looking pleased. "Hi there kids. Why don't you two go on a walk? It's pretty boring in here." Tokoyami blinked at the clear anger ringing through Hawks's voice, and nodded for his own safety, not wanting the nearest object thrown at him.

"That sounds good, c'mon Shouji." Tokoyami looked over at Shouji, begging him to just listen and not question anything. Thankfully, his enthusiasm from earlier returned to him and he nodded quickly. Tokoyami let himself relax, maybe the damage from earlier wasn't so bad?

The two left the building, missing Hawks putting a hand in front of Gang Orca and glaring, demanding an explanation. "You're telling me that this kid, a kid younger than my brother isn't allowed outside? How long have you had him locked up?" Hawks had one too many questions floating through his head, and a whole lot of anger directed at Gang Orca.

Gang Orca sighed and explained. "He's got Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, have you heard of it?" Hawks nodded slightly. "It doesn't allow the necessary amount of oxygen flow from the lungs, not curable and could make life hell."

Gang Orca continued without hesitation. "In the face of any stressful situation, Shouji has the tendency to panic, and that's not something he can afford to do with this disease. It could be fatal for him."

Hawks nodded, taking it in. "So you're saying he could die if he had a bad panic attack?" Gang Orca nodded and added. "This type of job isn't exactly easy to deal with as you know, it's extremely stressful, and as a child he was constantly sick with it because of his tendency to panic on top of his lungs."

Hawks looked outside, where he had sent the kids. "So you're telling me I just sent a ticking time bomb out into the world, where he hasn't been since he was...?" Gang Orca supplied an age, and Hawks let out a pained noise before taking off and running out into the streets.

He had to find them before his trouble magnet brother got his new friend killed.

[Part 2 end]

[Sorry my writing speed has decreased a hell of a lot, I've got school stuff going on, but I should be moving a little quicker-]

[See you next time ;0]

[shra-vasti]

MAKES ME WONDER [13/40] The Scholarship Application

→ Synopsis : Your dream to attend a Seventeen concert was finally coming true but you weren't prepared for the events that were going to follow after Joshua made eye contact with you and chose to make you his partner for the mini game and take you out on a date as a winning prize.

→ Genre : fluff

→ Type : Idol x fan au

→ Word count : 1.2k

→ Taglist : @mngyuheart @vannie24 @uglyratlmao @rjsmochii @dwcljh @noniesgirl @yuriewolfhard @jisungsdreamy @mischeifmakerliesmith5 (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist)

→ Pairing : idol!Joshua x fan!reader

→ Main Seventeen Masterlist 

→ Makes Me Wonder Masterlist 

The class was boring, not that your mind wasn't clouded with Joshua since you talked with him a few hours ago, even though he was busy he managed to make time for you so you won't feel neglected and it just made you fall for him more.

The bell rang loudly indicating that the class was over, students sighing in relief that they could now go to their home and rest, today has been especially exhausting for everyone.

"Students, there are a couple of new notices attached on the notice board, have a look at them before going off to your homes, you may find something you are interested in."

Miu approached you, bumping your shoulder with hers, throwing a teasing smile on your way.

"I see you had a talk with Joshua, there's a different glow on your face whenever you talk with him, it's easy to tell."

You shook your head, your hand making its way to touch your cheeks, was your affection towards the said boy that obvious?

"Let's go and check the notice board."

"You go ahead, I'll do it some other time, I have an essay to write which I forgot about."

She waved you goodbye, making her way towards the university library and you make your way towards the notice board to check it out.

"Wow, no one really got time to check it out even after the professor clearly told us to."

You stood in front of the notice board taking note of each and every event supposed to take place and the competitions to be held.

You were looking through the different notices when you noticed a small poster had fallen down from the board, you slid the glass off the board and took it out and pasted it back.

You looked at the notice.

INTERNATIONAL PARTNERSHIP : Would you like to continue your studies in a different country?

Study in a different environment and learn about different cultures, XYZ University has become a part of International Partnership Universities that could be perfect for your degree. Check out the list of universities below and sign up in your student office now.

What is this? International Partnership?

Your eyes scanned the list of different universities who were the part of said partnership along with your university, until they stopped on a name you weren't aware you were looking for.

Seoul University, South Korea

You took the notice with you as you made your way towards the student office.

"Hello, I'm here from the notice about the international partnership program."

The lady who sat at the reception smiled at you nodding her head, asking you to continue.

"Can anyone take part in the program or do I need to qualify for it?'

"Well, any student can apply as long as their attendance and grades are good enough."

"Just that? I do think my grades and attendance are decent enough, will you check them for me to see if I can apply?"

"Sure, give me your identification card."

You nodded your head, fishing inside your bag to take out your identification card and hand it over to her, you saw her insert the information into her laptop as she checked your attendance and grades.

"You do have decent attendance and good grades so it's safe to say you can apply for the program, do you have your required documents now or you want to submit them later? Also you need to fill this form and attach all the document's copy with it and submit it to me and you're ready to go."

She gave you the form and you made your way out of the office. You were excited to fill this form and go to Seoul to study, it would be a great surprise for him and he could spend time with you whenever he had time too.

Now you just needed to ask your parents permission to go to study in Seoul and you just hoped they would allow you.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"We won't allow you to go all the way to South Korea from here, alone."

"Why do you always have to cut off my freedom because you are too worried about me, even if I want to try some new things, you always show me the negative sides of it instead of encouraging me."

You had visited your parents house in the outskirts of the city since you wanted to talk with them about the program you had applied to, but they downright rejected your request even before listening to it fully, you were actually really excited to go study in Korea but all they thought was how you will go there alone and won't be able to take care of yourself.

It pissed you off since they never gave you the freedom to actually face challenges for you to grow.

"I'm going and that's final Dad, I just came here to tell you about my decision."

"You're going to regret it, can't you see? Your mother's health keeps on getting worse and worse and all you wanna do is go study in some other country."

"It isn't like mom's been in good health, she has been like that since forever, I'm not saying I don't care about her but please stop dragging her health into my decision to study abroad."

Your mother had leukemia and she had been struggling with the said disease since you were ten and it felt wrong that your father was making her an excuse to keep you with him.

The fact was, your parents were overly concerned for you, they wanted you to somehow learn all the hardships of life without experiencing them, they always stopped you from doing anything which they thought wasn't necessary to do according to them.

"Your mother won't be happy knowing you're being a brat."

"I'm going dad, you can't stop me, I don't care now, you've always stopped me from doing what I love, I won't let you and our family problems get into a way of my happiness."

You made your way towards the living room of the house as soon as you said that.

"Break all of your relationship with our family if you want to go."

Your steps halted as soon as your father said those sentences and you turned around glaring at him, disbelief written all over your face.

"You're going to go to such an extent just to stop me from doing what makes me happy? Fine, I don't want to be in any sort of relationship with a family who doesn't even consider my happiness."

You slammed the door shut, not looking back even once because you knew he wasn't standing there to even watch you for the last time.

Your father was a selfish man who only cared about his interests and feelings, never once in his life he tried to understand what his family desired and that's the mere reason why your older brother committed suicide, because your father didn't allow him to fulfil his dreams but you weren't going to let him get in a way of your happiness.

With tears in your eyes you hailed a cab, making your way back to apartment.

[petri808]

Fandom: Fairy Tail. Rating: Mature.  Nalu AU ANGST trigger warning.  Based on this post.  Just under 10k words

Lucy Heartfilia is diagnosed with a heart defect. Stuck in the hospital waiting on the transplant list, there is only one thing bringing any light to her dreary world; a volunteer named Natsu Dragneel who truly becomes her bittersweet savior.

@uzumaki2810 Here you go, I hope you like it :)  Also thank you to the angst queen @doginshoe IM SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD THIS MESSAGE ;-; she beta’d and bore the tears with me to make sure it was a good story :)

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It all started back in her last year of middle school when puberty really kicked into overdrive and she developed a well-endowed chest.  She assumed the little pricks of pain related to the added weight cause they sure gave her a backache if she pushed herself too hard.  Exercise was overly exhausting, so there went any chances of making the cheer squad in high school.  Not that Lucy was really interested in sports, but by the start of high school she realized any physical activity needed to be avoided.  But she didn’t want to worry her father since it was a random pain that would only surface if she exerted herself; ergo it was her boob’s fault, and she kept the pain to herself.

As time passed, and her high school years carried on, Lucy did her best to ignore the symptoms, even when something new manifested itself.  Fatigue…  she was studying too hard.  Rapid heartbeat… well, there was that cute boy that just walked by.  Shortness of breath when she laid down…  it’s just from the weight of her chest.  Each and every time, Lucy found a rational explanation.  She buried her nose in her studies as an outlet, which she really didn’t mind so much.  Her favorite thing to do in the world was to write quick fantasy stories she’d make up, and she’d often spend her breaks holed up in the library researching some new topic of dragons or fairies or whatever had caught her attention.

“Ugghhhh,” Lucy flinches as the blinding white light breaks through the surface of her vision.  She shields her eyes and slowly opens them but can only manage a tiny squint.  Her mind was groggy, and she swore her limbs felt like dead weights.  “W-Where am I?”        

She hears the muffled sound of her father’s voice calling for a doctor.  Why was there a slight ringing in her ear?  Something about she’s awake now, hurry?  The rest had been too muffled to understand.  Had she been asleep?  Lucy was completely confused. But the light… the light was so bright!

“Ms. Heartfilia?  Ms. Heartfilia, can you hear me?”

It was a strange male voice talking to her.  Where did her father go?

“Yes,” she croaks out, flinching as her body is coming out of its slumber and suddenly a sharp pain hits her again.  Lucy winces, this was worse than before.

“Ms. Heartfilia, do you know where you are?”

She shakes her head.  

“You’re in the hospital, dear.”

Wait!  It was her father’s voice again.  What did he mean she was in a hospital!  Lucy forces herself to open her eyes fully, though, keeping her hand between her face and the overhead lights.  “Why am I in a hospital?!”

Lucy hears the doctor's voice again, seemingly at a distance because her viewpoint was limited, speaking to someone.  Fainted.  Temporary amnesia.  Congenital heat disease.  Wait what?!  “Hey what’s going on?!” she calls out then is hit by another spike of pain.  Damn it!  “Dad?   Hello?!”  But it’s like she was being ignored.  Birth defect.  Advanced case.  Surgery.  “Someone please talk to me!”  Tears prick at the corners of her eyes.  “Talk to me!!!”  A third, and now the largest stab of pain hits her.  Lucy cries out at the pain and curls in on herself.  More shouting and the voice returns, hands probing something near her chest, and machines starting to blare out warning beeps.

“Please calm down Ms. Heartfilia, calm down, don’t push yourself too much or the pain will get worse.”

How could this get any worse…

That was 3 years ago, and the sands of time were running low.

Her father had done all he could, dragging her to specialist after specialist, exhausting a chunk of his fortune on doctors from one coast to the other, only to be told Lucy would need a heart transplant or she may not see her twenty-first birthday.  The most they could do for her while she waited on the transplant list was implant a ventricular assist device into her body.  It gave her a small measure of freedom instead of being tied to a normal transcutaneous machine, but it was still uncomfortable.  Her movements were restricted, she had to be careful of catching a cold, and what ended up being the hardest part, was the breast reduction surgery they had her undergo at the same time of the VAD surgery to reduce the weight and strain it added to her heart.

For so long she’d blamed her large breasts for causing all her pains, but now that she knew they weren’t, it was sad to see them go.  They were a part of her after all, no matter how much of a headache they could be.  For weeks after the surgery, Lucy could barely look at herself in the mirror.  She didn’t recognize herself anymore.  This youthful woman with tubes sticking out of her stomach which attached to a device around her waist that helped her weakened heart muscles do their job to keep her alive.  That had been the diagnosis, a congenital birth defect that weakened her heart muscles, and as she aged, the muscles would continue to deteriorate.  Oh, her father was so furious when they were told she didn’t qualify for an artificial heart because death wasn’t imminent.  

It hadn’t taken long after completing high school that the depression had surfaced.  All of her friends were moving on to college, most to distant campuses so she had no one to talk to.  Lucy would hide away in her bedroom for days at a time as the internal struggle mounted.  Why continue to go through this pain and struggle… why not just end it quickly and painlessly.  It was tempting.  From the research she’d done on heart defects, the end wasn’t very pretty.  Her only hope was a donor, but people die every day on the transplant list waiting for a heart that never came, just growing weaker and weaker….

At least the VAD had given her two decent years, but her days of being an outpatient at the hospital had come to an end.  Even with the device assisting her heart, Lucy’s body was struggling to deal with the strain.  The smallest exertions required fuel from her heart to power her body, so even something as minimal as the fatigue of reading a book for too long could trigger an arrythmia or worse, and the pain that may accompany it.  She needed to stay in the hospital so that her heart could be constantly monitored and if there was any sudden change, they could address it quickly.

The doctors were doing their best to keep her alive in the hopes a donor would surface.  But you never knew when one would become available, and her time was running short.  The original prediction of not making it to twenty-one was fast approaching.  Frankly, Lucy felt like it was by the luck of the draw and the odds were better at a Las Vegas casino.  It was a lonely experience being cooped up in the hospital and thankfully there was one glimmer of happiness amongst the sterile white halls.

“Lucy!”      

“Hi Natsu.”

He smirks, “I brought you something.”  The young man was bouncing on the balls of his feet with his hands clasped behind his back.  

All the volunteers that visited the hospital were kind people, but there was one that made Lucy smile the most.  A young man named Natsu Dragneel.  She’d told herself at the beginning of her medical odyssey that she wouldn’t let anyone get too close to her, not only for her protection but there’s.  The pain of losing someone you care about was an emotion Lucy had borne at the tender age of five when her mother lost her own battle to cancer, and it was a feeling she didn’t wish upon her worst enemy.  But this man sure made that promise a tough one to keep.    

Natsu’s adoptive mother was a long-time surgery nurse at this hospital, who had had taught him the value of life.  It was because of seeing her kindness towards people that spurred his decision to be a volunteer.  Even at eighteen years of age he knew that volunteering would be difficult, and five years later, he would admit it never got any easier.  Many volunteers eventually burn out, especially when dealing with the terminal patients, but Natsu pushed through, reminding himself it was those very patients that needed their support the most.

“Oh,” she quirks an eyebrow, “what is it?”

“Tada!” he whips out a single yellow rose with pinkish-red tipped petals and hands it to her.  “My younger sister showed me how to dye the tips, isn’t it cool!”

Lucy takes the flower, “wow that is really beautiful!  The pink even matches your hair.” She lifts it to her nose and picks up on the light rosy fragrance it exuded.  “Smells nice too.”  She tries to hand it back to Natsu.

“Tch, my hair’s not pink, it’s salmon, and I made it for you,” he smiles, “something to brighten your day.”  Natsu then walks over to the small bathroom and fills a cup with water, brings it back and places it on the small windowsill next to her bed.  “For the flower.”

“Thank you,” Lucy blushes a little and hands him back the bloom since she couldn’t reach the cup herself. “It was really kind of you to bring me that Natsu.”

“Nah,” he places the flower in the cup for her, “I’d do anything to make you smile.”

It wasn’t every day, but Natsu would come to see her as often as he could.  His regular job as a construction worker wasn’t a regular 9 to 5 kind of thing.  Some weeks he might work five days straight, while on slower periods like the winter and early spring months it may only be a couple of days a week depending on weather.  He’d told her that working with his hands was something he enjoyed immensely, and the company was training him to be a carpenter.  

Natsu sure wasn’t what she’d expected of a construction guy.  Oh, his hands showed the roughened appearance of someone who worked hard for a living, but she thought they would be these rough and tumble kind of men.  Not Natsu, with his goofy and sweet personality.  She could only imagine how well such a line of work helped to keep the man in shape.  He always wore t-shirts and jeans, but his trim features hidden behind the fabric were easily discernable.        

The light of the sun brought the yellow rose to life along with a slight tremor in her heart, not of pain but of adoration.  Lucy smiles sweetly at his remark, her eyes crinkling, glinting with a tinge of moisture she had no control over.  She didn’t want to admit her growing affection for this man who always said the sweetest things or made the most charming gestures.  Natsu was always so compassionate and supportive, while never making it seem like it was just his job as a volunteer to comfort the patients.  It was easy to wish that maybe… he was doing it just for her?  

Lucy ducks her head, hiding the hint of jealousy coating her cheeks and tone, “I’m sure you make such kind gestures for the other patients too.”

“Oh, no,” Natsu sits beside her and takes her hand, “just you.”  He gently lifts her chin, forcing her to face him.  She averts her eyes, but he stares forward, softening his glare, almost wanting to chuckle that he’s had such an effect on her.  “You’re special to me.”

Of all the patients in this small hospital, Lucy Heartfilia was the one his heart grieved for the most.  It wasn’t fair, at only twenty years old, for this beautiful and intelligent woman to be tied to a hospital bed, watching her life flash by in the form of ridges and valley peaks.  The first time they had met was two years ago, but back then she would only come in for overnight monitoring’s or check-ups, and after her major surgery, she stayed for a few months during the recovery process.  By now, they were friends, but it had taken work on his part to get her to open up to him.      

“No, I’m not…” Lucy sucks the corner of her bottom lip in to stifle the tremor.  

His tone deepens in a comeback, “Yes, you are.”

Her eyes finally snap to his, and when she sees the determination behind them, reality kicks in.  He was telling the truth!  Oh, heaven help her.  It was cute to dream, but not for it to be real.  She feels a sting in her chest and pushes his hands away.  “Please don’t,” her voice is barely a whisper, trembling from the stinging pain in her heart and her soul.  “I-I shouldn’t be….”  ‘This is so wrong…  Because I’m dying and he deserves someone better.  I shouldn’t have said anything.’  Stupid little daggers of jealousy!  She clutches her chest, willing her heart to still, and pain to subside, ‘please go away!’

“Hey, hey!” Natsu immediately switches his concern from being flirty to concerned.  “Lucy please calm down, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you!”

“I-It’s okay, I-I’ll be okay.” She fights the tears back with all the strength she can muster.  Lucy didn’t want to cry in front of Natsu.  “Please, Natsu, I don’t want to get our hopes up l-like that…. If this… If things were different….”

“Shhh,” he cradles her face, “shhh, it’s okay Luce, I feel the same way.”

After a few moments, Lucy lets out a long exhale.  “I appreciate it, I really do.”  She looks up and cracks a pained smile.  “You’re the only thing keeping me going, but I-I just don’t even want to think about not being there for you…”

It was Natsu’s turn to crack.  “Please don’t finish that.”  He looks down, holding back the urge to cry or show how upset it makes him.  “I don’t want to think about that.”

“But it…”

“You don’t know that, no one knows that, and I,” his voice falters, seething with all the will of his soul placed behind it, “I will cling to hope till my dying breath.”

The sudden change in his demeanor, switches Lucy from feeling so self-absorbed in her own thoughts to realize, Natsu has had an effect on her, but she truly had an effect on him too.  It hurt even more now that his behaviors weren’t just a rouse to make her happy, and it killed her to think of what he will suffer when she goes.    

“I’m sorry, Natsu.  I didn’t realize.”  She grabs his hand, squeezing it hard.  “Natsu I’m sorry.  Let’s stop thinking about this then, hmm,” doing her best to keep her tone soft and comforting.  “Look at me, Natsu, please, I don’t want to keep fighting with you.”

He sighs, “you’re right.  That’s the last thing I wanna do with you.”  It was a surprise even to himself that he’d lost his cool, and for the first time the awareness of his growing infatuation became real.

“Good,” she squeezes his hand again.  “Hey, um, you know its lunch time, we could eat outside since it’s a nice day…” her voice grows tentative, “if you’ll join me.”

“Lucy Heartfilia, are you asking me out on a date?” He chuckles, ready to put all the sadness behind them.  “Because if that’s the case,” the sparkle in his eyes return, “I would be honored.”

For the next couple of months, Natsu and Lucy’s friendship flourishes, as her physical body slowly deteriorates.  It was hard, he couldn’t lie, to watch this happen, and if it wasn’t for the strength of his convictions or his plain stubborn attitude about it that kept him upbeat.  He knew that she needed him to be her strength, and that fueled his desire to make sure she smiles every day.  

Lucy didn’t know, but his mother would keep him updated on her condition.  Not that he needed to know all the technical jargon, for he could see it with his own eyes.  Lucy herself would tell him just enough information when she needed to, but he never pushed or pried for it, letting it always be on her terms.  The cardiomyopathy was getting worse, her heart muscles barely functioning on its own at this point.  She had her good days and bad days but walking around wasn’t really an option anymore aside from brief steps for a purpose.  It also meant that the muscles in her legs were weakening too.  Physical therapy once a week worked with Lucy on light stretches to keep them from completely atrophying, but it was all they could do for her at this point.  But no matter how much weight she lost, or that her hair didn’t hold its familiar luster, to Natsu she would always be the same radiant woman he adored.  

She’d resigned herself to this fate a lot better than Natsu would have thought a person could do.  When he tried to picture himself in her shoes, he was sure he wouldn’t have the strength to keep going, but that was what amazed him even more about her.  On her agreeable days, Natsu enjoyed getting her out of her room, even if for brief periods of time.  Lunch or dinner in the cafeteria, the grounds of the hospital on a sunny day, or even stargazing when the evening air was warm.  He’d bring a wheelchair, and off they’d go, talking about anything or nothing, avoiding the subject of her condition, just giving her a smidge of a normal existence for once.              

Lucy opens her eyes at the knock on her door to see a familiar face pop through.  “Hey Natsu,” she cracks a pained smile.  

“Hey Luce, how ya doin’ today?”

She starts to sit up in the hospital bed, but when it’s clear to Natsu the woman was struggling, he quickly rushes over and assists.  “Thanks,” another light smile.  “I’m sorry, I’ve been a little sore today.”

“Never apologize to me,” he smiles back warmly.  No matter what, he always did his best to appear upbeat for the patients despite his heart literally breaking for them.  He places his hand on hers, “so, tell me gorgeous, are ya hungry?  We could dinner date in the cafeteria if you’re up to it.  My treat,” he winks.

“Stop calling me gorgeous,” Lucy chides the sunny young man, despite the small rosy glow of her cheeks.  “I know I’m not, and that’s okay.”  With the help of a psychiatrist and over a year of therapy, Lucy had finally accepted her fate and kept moving forward as best she could.  If she will die someday, she will die with dignity.  Stress wasn’t very good on her heart, so once she made peace with her circumstances, even her physical ailments had benefitted.  

“Pfft,” Natsu pretends to be offended, “are you calling me a liar because I know I’m not blind.”  His grin growing along with the deepening of red along her cheeks.  “Besides, you know I won’t stop no matter how much you complain about it.”  

Lucy laughs and her eyes twinkle, “I know, so we’ll keep agreeing to disagree.”

It was in these moments, and why he did what he did, just to see this woman’s eyes light up, that sent his own heart into palpitations.  Deep down Natsu knew that the chances of Lucy making it out of this hospital were slim to none, but you’d never know it when he spoke to her.  He stifles the urge to sigh. Oh, how he wished the circumstances were different.  In a perfect world, Natsu would love nothing more than to walk this woman down the aisle.

He circles the topic back around, “so… dinner, on me?” he teases lightly with a wink.  “We can take a trip through pediatrics where there are a few recent arrivals.”

Her gaze lowers as she hides the seventh heaven emotions the young man stirs in her.  “I’d like that.”

Natsu squeezes her hand, “I’ll be right back, lemme grab your carriage milady.”

As Lucy waited the few minutes for Natsu to grab a wheelchair, she closes her eyes and does a breathing technique to calm her heart.  She hadn’t wanted to show the slight tinges of pain she was getting as they spoke, because she knew it would have worried him.  They’d been steadily increasing in frequency lately, and she fought to keep him from discovering that.  But she couldn’t help it.  Despite her condition, Lucy was still a young woman with an intact mind, she still had desires like any other, and when a handsome young man close to her age flirted with her, of course she would react to it!  She did her best not to let these thoughts sink in too deeply and told herself he was merely doing it to make her feel better.  It was a lie, but it was the best way to shield herself.

“Ready?”  Natsu extends his hand to help Lucy to her feet.

She nods and takes hold, gripping on while he maneuvers her around and onto the chair.  It weakened Lucy to where her muscles were slowly losing their strength because her heart was struggling to keep her body oxygenated and functioning properly.  With support she could stand for brief periods, but only with support.  At least with Natsu, she could put her faith in his hold that he’d never let her fall.  

After adjusting the foot plates and making sure Lucy was comfortable, Natsu takes off towards the cafeteria two floors down.  He’d already alerted dining when he’d gone out for the chair they were coming down, to prepare a meal within Lucy’s dietary needs.  It wasn’t a terribly restrictive diet, but there were some limits, such as no stimulants like caffeine, or anything with a high fat content.

Natsu loved these little dates as he called them.  On warm sunny days it may include a stroll outside for some fresh air, or if it was cold and rainy, merely sharing a cup of light hot chocolate in the visitor's lounge in front of the massive floor to ceiling windows.  But if Lucy wasn’t feeling well, he was content to sit by her side in her room, talking, telling stories, or doing anything just to cheer her up.  Sometimes he would fantasize during these events as if they were simply at home and relaxing like a normal couple.

“Oh yay, beef barley,” Lucy stirs and lifts a spoonful up before letting it flow back into the bowl.  “My fave.”  She knew why they gave it to her, but that didn’t make it anymore appetizing.  Barley was supposedly good for heart health, and the protein it contained was useful for her body.  She crunches up the soda crackers the meal came with and drops them into the soup, letting the pieces soak in.

“I don’t mind it,” Natsu shovels a spoonful into his mouth.  He always made it a point to eat the same thing they gave Lucy, so she felt more normal about it.  “But if you really don’t want it, I could ask them to make you a sandwich instead.”

“No, no,” she waves her hand, her voice oozing with a sense of longing mixed with frustration, “it’s okay, I’m fine with it.  I just would kill to eat a fatty, tasty, slathered in sauce cheeseburger with a side of waffle fries or something you know.”

Natsu snorts a laugh and almost chokes on his food as a mental picture of Lucy chomping down on a burger, with sauce dripping down her chin both amuses and arouses him.  “I-I can imagine,” he bangs his chest a couple times to dislodge some liquid that made it down the wrong pipe.  “Throw some sriracha sauce on that vision and you just named one of my favorite foods.”  Could this woman become any more of his dream girl?!

She giggles, “So, um…” Lucy hesitates for a second.  She didn’t want to sound desperate or anything, but loneliness was the quickest way to send her back into a depression and she cherished the time the man spent with her.  “How much time are you spending with me today?”    

“As long as you’d like,” he winks.  “I always do my rounds first and come to you last so I can stay as long as I want to.”

Ugh!  The flirty thing again!  Lucy wills her body to behave.  “Wow, that makes me pretty special, huh?”

“Extremely,” he leans in, letting his gaze grow half-lidded, and his tone mellowing into a soothing cadence. “I’m gonna steal your heart one day Luce, that’s a promise.”

“What?!  Pfft,” damn, she can feel the heat rising in her cheeks, “there’s no point in stealing a broken heart sir…”  Despite the desire to feel aroused over his comment, it also brought a sense of sadness to her she fought down the urge to let tears rise to the surface.  ‘He’s just teasing… he’s just being sweet, trying to make me feel normal… It’s not real Lucy, It’s not real!’  But oh, how she wished it was!  Natsu was the perfect man that any woman would kill for.  Sweet, strong, handsome, silly, she could go on and on with the list.  He was the one ray of sunshine in her dreary world now that she truly was all alone in it.  The stress of caring for her had driven her father into his own massive heart attack last year.  She had no one, except Natsu.

“I mean it Luce,” he reaches out and takes her hand, letting his thumb sweep over the skin.  “Broken or not, I want to steal it and have the person it’s attached to a—ll to myself.”

“Please don’t,” Lucy pulls her hand back.  She could feel the tears pooling and if she didn’t stop it now, they’d soon fall.  “You know I appreciate it, really I do Natsu.”  Lucy looks back up at him and cracks a pained smile.  “But you deserve someone who’s not broken.”

The absolute pain measured in Lucy’s eyes, and the sorrow in her voice was like a dagger straight through Natsu’s soul.  He could understand her desire of not wanting to believe in miracles or to shield herself from further pain, but that only killed him more.  She deserved so much more out of life. Ugh, if only he had a direct line to destiny so he could kick its ass and tell it to leave Lucy in peace!  He didn’t want to upset her anymore.  “Okay, I’ll stop pushing too hard.  But I promise you Luce, one day you will walk out of this hospital a healthy woman, and you can steal my heart instead.”

She sighs, “You can’t promise something like that.”

“I have faith,” Natsu gives her his wide, ear-to-ear grin and a wink.  “You’ll see.”

How could she stay upset after seeing that smile of his?  That damn ear-to-ear grin that lit up his eyes.  The eternal optimist, Natsu Dragneel trying so hard to keep her spirits up.  He and that smile may very well be the one thing keeping her going at this point.  “Okay, okay,” Lucy chuckles, “I give up, yes it's possible.”

“Woo Hoo!”  He pumps his fist in the air in an exaggerated victory, “that’s the spirit!  Now eat, so we can go check out the babies!”  

Lucy laughs again and nods with a smile, “okay.”

It was harder than she let on to him because she knew how much he enjoyed checking out all the new arrivals, but seeing those babies coming into this world while she would be leaving it shortly was painful.  All those hopeful, bright little lives….  They were a bittersweet reminder that a hospital holds two balances; the power to bring life into this world or take it away by not being able to heal a person.  She didn’t blame the doctors, for they were doing their best, because sometimes the sands of time runs its course and there is just nothing more they can do.  It was simply a part of life, to be born and die, never knowing when the grim reaper would come calling.  

“Look, look!  I was told three were born yesterday.” Natsu points excitedly as he parks her chair in front of the viewing window of the nursery.  He plasters his face against the clear glass.  “Two girls and one boy.  Awww, one already has some hair!”  Turning back to Lucy, “can you see okay, would you like me to help you stand up?”

“Thank you for the offer, but I can see just fine,” Lucy throws on a smile for effect.  “They are quite adorable, aren’t they?”

“Are you sure?  You know the doctors want you to stand sometimes so that your legs don’t atrophy as quickly.  I will gladly bear the weight.”

“Are you saying I’m heavy?!”  She was just teasing, but it was the perfect setup to do so.

“What?!” he waves his arms, “n-no way!  You’re not heavy, I meant I’m stronger so I can hold you up…”

“So, I’m weak?”

“Wait, what, no!”

Lucy giggles at how much the man was stepping all over his tongue.  “I’m just teasing you, Natsu.  I know I should, but I’m just a little tired today.”  That was partially true.

The man pouts, “so mean Luce,” he whines and throws on the saddest puppy dog expression he can muster, even a sniffle for effect.  “But it was an excuse to hold you in my arms.”

Oh, how quickly the tides can turn as his bold little statement sets her face ablaze.  He re—ally needed to stop with the flirting, or she was about to have an actual heart attack!  “All right,” Lucy groans, “just for a few minutes.”  It wasn’t the first time she’s allowed him to help her stand and maintain her balance, but before his little retort, she’d never thought twice about it.  

Natsu locks the chair and adjusts the foot plates out of the way so that Lucy can put her feet on the ground.  “Just take all the time you need,” his voice grows soft and soothing, “don’t rush.”

She tests her leg strength by pushing with the balls of her feet against the floor, rocking them and applying pressure to warm up the muscles.  Brief movements, like getting from the bed to the wheelchair were one thing, standing for a few minutes or walking a few feet were another.  It was frustrating and embarrassing, so she avoided it as much as possible, like when going to the bathroom.  Lucy didn’t mind when the nurses assisted her with that compromising predicament, but this was embarrassing in a different way.  

Once she feels her legs are ready, she holds out her hand which Natsu quickly takes hold of and braces her other on the arm of the chair to push herself up.  When she gets to a standing position, Natsu moves around her body, placing an arm around her waist as he gently guides her the two feet to the window.  He stays on constant alert, monitoring any change so if her legs decide to buckle, he can catch her.  As soon as she reaches the window, Lucy places her hands on the slight ledge of the sill.  Natsu then switches his position to stand directly behind her, wrapping both arms around her upper chest to hold her close, but above the tubes in her lower abdomen.  

Could he feel how much her body was heating up from the intimate contact?  Lucy fought her own emotions to keep from escalating and stressing her heart out, for she was keenly aware of how they would look to anyone passing by.  Dear heavens, it was hard to do with his chest pressed up against her back…. She wished they could stay like that forever.  ‘Breathe… just breathe, Lucy…. Look at the babies, just focus on the babies…’  That only made it worse.

The babies….  Just a day old. The little angels were like moldable clay.  They’ll grow… they’ll change…  Will they become teachers or astronauts some day?  Oh, look at the one, smiling in his sleep, how precious.  Someday, will they make their dreams come true?  What will they be like?  Good little kids or naughty, friendly, the life of the party or a shy introvert?  Like many young girls who dreamt of becoming a mother someday, Lucy had envisioned having a family of her own with the love of her life and the white picket fence.  A little girls fantasy.  She closes her eyes, praying that Natsu wasn’t paying attention to her.  The tears pool behind her eyelids and she stills the desire to sniffle.  That fantasy was now dashed like a shipwreck against the shoreline, never to sail the seven seas again.  Natsu would have made the perfect husband and father for such a fairytale, and he will one day, just not in her storybook ending.

She’d been so focused on fighting back her emotions, that Lucy hadn’t noticed Natsu’s head was now resting against her shoulder or how his face was curled against the nape.  

“It’s okay to cry sometimes Luce.”

His whispered voice, so close to her ear, breaks the dam.  Lucy squeezes her eyes tighter and fingertips curl, tensing against the windowsill.  Shit, he knew all along.  Her knees tremble as the tears flow freely, but she feels his hold tighten around her to keep her from falling.  It had been some time since she’d allowed herself to release the pain in this way.

Natsu hadn’t been certain of it until now, but in the last several times they’d come to the pediatric ward, he’d sensed a change in Lucy’s energy.  She always wore a smile with a hidden agenda and now he’s confirmed his suspicions.  Well, it was his mother really that pointed it out one day when he’d mentioned it to her.  The woman was great at understanding human emotions and after years of caring for patients, she’s learned to follow her intuition.  

“Lucy was a young woman who may not live to be a mother or have a family of her own, of course it might upset her to see the infants.”  His first inclination was to stop bringing the woman to this ward, but his mother gave him a second option.  “Help her grieve.”  Those three words coming out of his mother’s mouth stunned him briefly. What did she mean to help her grieve?!!  “If Lucy has no one to turn to, how can she process what is happening to her.  Show her it’s okay to be upset, help her let out the pain before it consumes her.”  

“I will hold you for as long as I need to Luce, just let the pain go.”

But it was killing him to do this!  Natsu had told his mother that he didn’t think he was strong enough. The woman simply smiled, patted his cheek and said, “I believe in you son.  If you truly care, then you’ll have the strength to move mountains for her.”  Damn his mother and her intuition, though Natsu realized only a fool couldn’t see how much he was falling for Lucy.  He’d sell his soul to a demon to get her a new heart.

Strangely, Lucy’s body wasn’t reacting like she thought it would.  Stress usually caused her blood pressure to rise and strain her heart muscles, but that wasn’t happening.  She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing like a broken spigot, and maybe that was the best thing, like a release of the pressure that had built up unbeknownst to her.  Her hands move from the windowsill to Natsu’s arms, clutching to and resting her head on them.  Lucy couldn’t look up, not yet, but she needed to let him know she heard his words, and they meant the world to her.  

She would have made an amazing mother, Natsu was sure of it, and it would be a lie to say he’s never thought of or imagined them staring through this viewing window at their own little boy or girl one day.  Would the child have Lucy’s beautiful golden waves or chocolate brown eyes?  Or maybe take Natsu’s salmon pink hair and onyx eyes.  No matter what, the child would be perfect and loved.  A child that as the day ticked down on the transplant list was losing hope of ever being born.  Crap!  Natsu squeezes his eyes closed tight.  He couldn’t let her see him struggling with this, but damn if those images didn’t just cut him deep.

Neither of them knew how long they were standing there or even if any of the other hospital staff had noticed.  They were in their own little world while time passed them by.  It was Lucy who finally let out a small exhale as a last release of all that had struck her today, and with that tension gone, the tears turned into exhaustion.  Ever cry so hard and for so long that your body became lethargic?  Lucy yawns wide and deep, her eyes growing heavy and clouded, a little lightheaded, ready to go to sleep.

Natsu kisses the crown of her head and without a word, maneuvers her so she can sit back down in her wheelchair.  He sets the foot panels in place and helps her feet onto them, then pushes her back to her room.  There is a companionable silence, as if all their wordless exchanges had communicated volumes that needed no explanation.  Once back in her own room, Natsu helps her onto the bed and set the wheelchair aside.

After helping to re-attach her heart monitors, Natsu checks, “is there anything else I can get you before I go?”  She shakes her head.  “In that case…”

Lucy motions for him to lean in closer and once he’s close enough, she hesitates briefly then places a kiss on his cheek.  “Thank you for everything Natsu.”

His eyes widen, shocked by what she’d just done.  “Luce?”

“I just felt like doing it,” she blushes.  “Tonight… I don’t know, I just feel so much better and it’s all because of you.”  Lucy closes her eyes as a yawn cuts through.  They were so tired…    

“You are very welcome,” Natsu smiles.  He moves to leave, but Lucy grabs his hand and squeezes.  When he turns back to look, her eyes are still closed, and there is a slight smile on her face which brings a swelling of his pride.  He leans down and kisses the back of her hand.  “Rest now, and I will see you again tomorrow.”

Mister Sandman beckoned to Lucy of mystical creatures bathed in glittering stars, calling upon father time to bring peace to a weary soul.  She didn’t know why, but though the pull was strong, she fought his dreamy reverie.  Today had been the most emotionally charged day in a long time.  All the tears Lucy had shed brought a new peace to her spirit, something in this entire experience not even a trained therapist could have given her.  The amount of love that Natsu provided, whether platonic or wishful yearnings, calmed her, and pushed away the emptiness she had felt for so long…. So long stuck in this pain.  She wanted to relive this day forever, safe in Natsu’s arms, drowning in the pool of his obsidian hues.  ‘… to steal his heart…’  Lucy knew she already had, just as he had stolen hers in a way.  A sense of warmth floods through her body, shielding her to the cool air-conditioned room.  Lucy’s smile widens as her mind slips into the abyss of dreams, of a pink-haired prince who’d finally set her soul free.

“Natsu wake up,” the voice repeats as the person attached to it shakes his sleeping form.  “Natsu wake up.”

“Huh?” His clouded mind hears the voice of his mother.  “What is it?”  He turns his head, his eyes temporarily pin-pointed from the harsh lamp light next to his bed.  “Mom, what are you doing in my room?”  Natsu pushes himself to a sitting position as his mother takes a seat next to him.  With his vision focusing better, he finally notices the moisture clouding his mother’s eyes.  “Mom, what is it?!”  

She takes his hand, squeezing it tightly with her head slightly lowered in pain.  “I-I’m sorry, son, but the hospital just called me…. Your friend, s-she had a massive heart attack.”

By the time his mother had finished the sentence, Natsu had stopped listening to anything she was saying. He knew, the moment she’d said I’m sorry… to wake him up in the middle of the night, it had to be….  All the blood drains from his face and his shoulders slump.  He felt dizzy, weak, like all of his strength were stripped away, leaving him an empty shell.  He turns his head slowly, the tears already flowing down his cheeks in an endless trickle to meet the woman’s sullen gaze.  This wasn’t happening!  Not yet!  Lucy was fine today!  Fine!!  He wanted to scream!  But his throat was closed up, choking back the sobs that wanted to break free.  

“Oh honey,” the woman wraps her arms around her son and pulls him tightly against her chest.  “I’m so sorry,” her own tears flowing freely and hitting his face.  “Don’t give up hope, they were able to save her, but she’s been placed in a medically induced coma.”

It couldn’t be true!  Why weren’t his cries coming out?!  Natsu’s voice refused to make a sound and all he could do was weep.  It hurt so much!  His fists clench at his stiffened sides.  This wasn’t fair!  

“Let it out son, don’t hold it in,” she coos, doing her best to soothe the pain.  “They believe she didn’t suffer because it happened while she was asleep, that should give you a bit of comfort.”

No, it doesn’t!  She was still in a coma!  He’d almost lost her!  And, “I-I never g-got to s-say good... good…” he couldn’t finish it.  What if she never woke up again?  Natsu’s heart ached at the thought he may never again hear her beautiful laughter or that silly snort she would sometimes make when he teased her.  This world was too cruel to do this to a woman who should be in college, starting the next stage of her life.  A fit of sobs racks his body, ‘I never got to tell her I love her…’

“Would you like me to drive you there, son?”

“Yes, please mom, i-if you don’t mind.”  

“Of course.”

Natsu paused in front of the closed door to Lucy’s new room, unsuccessfully preparing himself for what he knew he would find behind it.  On the way to the hospital, his mother had filled in a few more details that tore the man up and brought a wave of guilt flooding over him.  Had he caused the heart attack?

The heart monitor alarms had gone off only 30 minutes after he had left her for the evening, and the doctors wasted no time in implementing emergency resuscitative efforts.  They deemed it a miracle, but after 10 minutes of herculean efforts they were able to get her heart restarted.  Lucy was then moved to the ICU unit and placed on other machines such as a feeding tube and ventilator to keep her alive.

Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed her to see the infants after all.  Maybe the crying had stressed her out and neither of them had known it.  She seemed perfectly fine when he’d left!  Happy, in fact, happier than he’d seen in a long time.  Natsu’s fingers absentmindedly trail over the area she had kissed.  Lucy was at peace when he’d left.  His mom told him her sudden fatigue may have been a sign.  Or maybe he clenches his jaw, that kiss was her way of saying goodbye, like she knew something might happen once she’d closed her eyes.  The way she’d grabbed his hand when he tried to leave….  “Fuck!” he grits outs as the tears pool in his bloodshot eyes again.  “I shouldn’t have left her…”  

He pushes the door open and his knees buckle instantly at the sight.  Tubes… all the tubes, and monitors, the beeping and lights, bright flashing lights of the stat graphs, subcutaneous fluids hooked to her arms, the drips… slow drips of liquid and medicine flowing into Lucy’s body.  He wasn’t ready for it.  Her beautiful face partially hidden by the feeding tube running into her mouth and the breathing tubes entering her nostrils.  If it wasn’t for his mother standing at his side, Natsu would have collapsed to the floor when his legs lose all their strength and crumple.  The woman guides him to a chair placed beside the bed.  

“Oh god, Lucy!”  The tears pour out and sobs take control of his body.  He throws his upper body over hers, clutching desperately to the blanket covering her, and burying his face into its folds.  Natsu felt a part of his soul die right then and there.  “You don’t deserve this,” his muffled words stolen by the fabric.  Why couldn’t they find her a heart?!

“Son,” Natsu feels his mother’s hand resting on his shoulder, but he doesn’t respond.  “Son, there’s no telling how long Lucy will stay in this state, so it’s best you say your goodbyes now.  They say that people can hear you even if they are in a coma.”

But all he can do is shake his head fervently, denying it to the world and himself that Lucy wouldn’t come out of this.  He had hope, damn it!  Natsu refused to say goodbye because that meant he’d given up hope Lucy would recover somehow.  

The woman seemed to understand her son’s frustration and didn’t push.  “Then, just talk to her son, let her know you’re here.”  

“Mom, could you… I wanna be alone, please?”                

“I’ll come back in an hour to take you home.”  

Natsu just nods in response.  He hears the door open and close, the click of the lock like the final latch being set on a coffin, sealing them to their fate.  He’d known the dangers of giving his heart to Lucy and yet despite what was happening, still had no regrets.  She deserved the peace of knowing someone loved her, and if this really was the last moments, Natsu could have that tiny measure of satisfaction knowing he was the one who had provided it to her.

“But you’re not gonna die yet, Luce.  You can’t, do you hear me, you can’t!  It’s not your time yet, so you need to fight for me please…”  Oh, how his heart was shattering into a million pieces as if he was the one with the problem.  It fucking hurt!  Emotional daggers stabbing him in the chest repeatedly.  “You’re stronger than this, Lucy!  I know it, you’re gonna wake up from this!”

By the time his mother returns an hour later, the sheer exhaustion had consumed Natsu.  She finds him passed out, and it takes a bit of begrudging effort to get him to leave Lucy’s bedside.  He was so afraid to leave again in case she passed away, because he didn’t want her to die alone.  It was his mother that coaxed him into believing that she wasn’t alone as long as he kept her in his heart.    

Day after day, week after week, became a never-ending cycle of zombiesque activity.  Natsu’s body was there, trudging through routine, but his mind was broken, battling between keeping hope alive and giving up.  He went to work, did his job, then headed to the hospital.  It got to where the staff had placed a spare bed in the room, and he practically lived in the ICU with Lucy.  He was lucky that his mother was a long-time nurse and he a volunteer with an impeccable standing that the hospital allowed him to bend the visitor hour rules.  They knew the woman was alone in this world, so maybe they also felt a sense of duty to become that family for her, because nobody deserved to die alone.

He grew obsessed with anything to do with her condition and used the lonely hours to scour the internet for information.  Sure, much of the stories about coma patients being able to hear weren’t really solid or verifiable, but any glimmer of possibilities was worth the effort.  It couldn’t hurt to try.  Whether it was telling her about his day or what was happening in their town, Natsu would keep talking.  He bought a kindle and read stories he thought she would like, fantasies of princes saving princesses filled with mythical creatures.  He remembered her saying she used to write such stories and wished he had been able to read them.

When he was too tired to read, or his throat was too sore to continue, Natsu wrote her letters.  The staff and his family were getting worried about Natsu.  So, the hospital’s mental health service counselor had come in one day and spoke to him on the off chance that they could get through to him.  While he refused to listen to most of the advice, he found the writing to be helpful.  Maybe when Lucy awakens, she could read them. But for now, it was one way he could pour out some of his thoughts in silence.      

He was always tired and exhausted, pushing himself through this day-to-day routine, sometimes forgetting to eat.  Concerned staff would often pop their heads in to check on him to make sure he had or scolded him when the hours grew late and they knew he needed to work the next day.  His bloodshot eyes held dark bags under them, and his mother swore he was losing weight.  But he would always push them off saying he was fine.

“No, you are not son.  As a mother I am supremely proud to know I raised a son who cares this much, but I don’t want to lose you too.”

“And you’re not, I’m perfectly healthy.”

“You know as well as I stress is harmful to the body.”

Natsu sighs and runs a hand over his face, “mom, I’m fine, I even cut back on work hours to make you happy.”

“And I appreciate the gesture, but you’re still working, just here!”

“Mom, I’m fine!  Please, just leave me be, I-I don’t want to fight.  I just want… I’m not leaving her.  End of discussion.”

His mother sighs, knowing that her stubborn boy would not listen.  “Just please, Natsu, eat more, get more sleep, do it for me.”

“Okay, okay, I will.”        

“I love you, son.”

“I love you too, mom.”

She kisses his forehead and turns to leave, taking one last look at her boy, and to Lucy.  Grandeeney Dragneel pauses with a bittersweet smile as Natsu resumed reading quietly from his Kindle.  Somehow, she knew that young girl loved her son back, and it broke her heart to know they were like those star-crossed lovers from a long-lost folktale, never destined to truly be together.  She liked Lucy.  The girl was smart and sweet, very articulate whenever she visited during her rounds, and her strength through this all was remarkable.  Even after being dealt such a cruel hand by fate, she never grew bitter or resentful.  Her son couldn’t have fallen for a better girl.  Grandeeney slips away quietly before the moisture building in her eyes could be seen by Natsu, bracing against the closed door, and praying for a miracle.

Is this that tunnel people talk about?  Lucy wonders as all she could see through her eyelids is the brightest light that seemed just too brilliant to be normal.  Her eyes hurt a little from it, but if this was heaven, why is there still pain?  She forces her lids open and tries to shield them with her hand that… doesn’t seem to move, huh?  But it wasn’t just her arm, her entire body felt heavy.  The images filtering in through her vision were blurry, slowly gaining focus as her pupils adjust to the light to see, wait, ceiling tiles?  Why does heaven look so much like a hospital?

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Lucy looks over and sees a doctor standing beside her.  “Where am I?”  Or more like why am I here?  

“Do you remember the heart attack?”  She shakes her head.  “You’ve been in a coma for two months after you suffered a massive heart attack.  But luckily, a local donor came through...”  He goes on to explain about the surgery telling her that the transplant surgery went well, her body was accepting the new heart, and while she’ll still be going through three to six months or rehabilitation and monitoring, she was on track to make a full recovery.  

“Oh-okay, thank you so much, doctor.”  It was a miracle to be alive again with a new heart.  But something felt wrong, missing?    

“I’ll be back in a couple hours to check on you again Ms. Heartfilia, but if anything feels off in the meantime, be sure to ring the nurses.”  He moves to leave, but she stops him.

“Doctor, the donor, can you tell me about them, please?”

The man hesitates for a moment.  “Well Ms. Heartfilia, privacy laws don’t allow me to….”

“You don’t have to tell me their name or anything.  Please, just a little information.  I’d like to know who saved my life.”

The man sighs and takes the seat next to the bed, clearly torn with what he was about to say.  “He was a young volunteer at the hospital who tragically fell asleep at the wheel and passed away from a car accident…”

The doctor's voice droned on for another minute as he tried to reassure her that the man didn’t suffer. It was quick and painless from a one-car crash.  As if that was supposed to make her feel any better.  Lucy didn’t need to be told the name as tears poured down her cheeks, because she knew.  She just knew.  That was what was missing, for she knew that if she’d had received the new heart, Natsu would have been the one by her side when she’d woken up… unless he could be there.  With all the wires attached to her arm, she could barely move them without the sting of the I.V. lines, but she didn’t care.  Lucy’s hands cover her lowered face as the tears continue to stream.

“I’m very sorry, Ms. Heartfilia.  Would you like me to have someone from mental health support to come see you?”

Lucy shakes her head. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t even think.  

“Mrs. Dragneel would also like to speak to you when you’re up to it.”  

More tears and sobs choke out. Oh god that was Natsu’s mom, how could she face Natsu’s mother!  

Seeing the woman’s distress, the man nods and squeezes her shoulder, “Again, I’m truly sorry Ms. Heartfilia.  We all miss him very much.  Please try to get some rest,” and leaves the woman to grieve in her own way.  

Her head was spinning.  It wasn’t supposed to happen like this!  Why was destiny such a malicious bastard to take away the one person she had and leave her in this world all alone?  Lucy clasps a hand over her chest, recalling the last conversation, that last night with Natsu.  She squeezes her eyes to the pain of the memories…  He’d made her so happy… so very happy, and yes, she remembered thinking for the first time since her diagnosis; she didn’t feel alone anymore.  Fuck if she didn’t want to just keel over again, but that would mar the beautiful gift that she’s received.  Natsu believed with every fiber of his being that she would walk out of here one day and she will live on for him, that’s a promise.  “Our heart,” Lucy breathes out…  But how ironic that he was right all along.  She really did steal his heart in the cruelest of ways… 

[writingasawayofliving]

     ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO!

                       BY: ELIZON CAMANGYAN

    Michelle is a sweet, lovely, and intelligent young lady with a brother named John lester . They are extremely close, and he is her savior, especially when they are children. Her brother is very protective of her and will not allow any boys to talk to her. Her parents advised us to keep an eye out for each other because they are happy together. Both of them were free of favoritism. Until this strange sensation, everything was perfect and amazing; everything was shifting, and nothing was in its proper place.

  Brother, can we go home together later? Yes, youngest, I promise we'll go together. OK brother, thank you very much, and by the way, brother, , my classmates have arrived. Guys, krisan, Joanna, and Arjelyn John Lester is my older brother. As a result, we went first. Later on.  Michelle is your older brother, by the way. I like him because he's cute, but he's also tall.

   By the way, do you guys have a creative writing assignment? Concerning essay writing. Yes, I have already done so. But I'll take the lead because my brother and I are currently on our way home together.

  Where are you, brother? It's 6 p.m., and you haven't returned. I've texted and called hundreds of times, but you haven't returned my calls or texts. Hey, you haven't picked me up yet, and by the way, my name is Alfred, and I'd like to be with you. Anyway, I appreciate it. It's night, you're certain. Now let's get started. Okay.

  Thank you, Alfred,  I'm sorry, youngest, but since I did it, I'm going to forget to bring you together a lot. I have to complete it. I'll be ahead of the two of you. Thank you, sir. We'll talk again tomorrow! Thank you once more.

  What was the man's reason for delivering you? You might simply take a taxi. Wow, you said you'd bring me along. I waited for school for a few hours. My older brother, John Lester, did not show up. It's fortunate that Alfred joined me so that I can return home. Did you consider me? If only I had returned home. I'm sorry, I won't do it again, just don't get in Alfred's car. Sorry as well, buddy.

Brother I'll just be seeing my classmates. Okay, Michelle . Can you guys assist me? My older brother's birthday is on Saturday, and I'd like to surprise him. Hello, Michelle. Oh my gosh, Michelle, who is he? On the other side, the attractive. Since my brother  forgot to pick me up, he was the one who delivered me last night. Have you eaten, Alfred? If you want to be with us? I'm finished now. And if you aren't done yet. And if you're starving. Are you starving? Let's get some food. Oh my god Michelle, your brother has arrived; why is he with you, Youngest? I warned you not to speak with him.

   Let us have a discussion outside. What exactly is it that we're doing wrong, Michelle? I'll say thank him for driving me home. Alfred likes you, don't you see? What is it about that place that makes it so bad? If he enjoys my company. He is a gentleman. Okay, you manage your own affairs. You're not interested in hearing what I'm saying. Sorry!

   Guys, please assist me; tomorrow is my brother's birthday. I need to catch him off guard. Come along with me to the festival mall to purchase a gift. Okay, we'll meet you at the festival mall. Guys, let's get

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started. Thank you. Let's go, I'm going to buy him a Gucci three-piece of t-shirts, Please join me in my quest. Okay, that's it. Michelle What is the age of your older brother? Tomorrow is his 22nd birthday. Oh my god He is accompanied by a lovely lady. She is attractive and tall. She is a transgender woman, not a girl . But you're implying that your brother is bisexual? I don’t know.  I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way when my brother is dating someone else. Why am I so envious? This is incorrect.

   Michelle, you've arrived. What have you been up to? Have you had your meal yet? Where did you come from, brother? Computer shop I'm just curious as to why. Because I saw you with your hands still held by a lady. What is the name of that girl? Is she your girlfriend at the moment? Or But it's possible that you won't take me home with you because someone else has brought you something. Brother, speak up so I can figure out what's wrong with me.

   You're curious as to why this is. Michelle, I love you more than my sister, and I regard you as such. So I'm  jealous every time you and Alfred are together. I just want to be with you. I really want you to be thinking all the time! I'm just interested in you. Is it possible for you to give it to me? Perhaps it isn't because I am your brother. I'm sorry, but I have the same feelings about you. I was envious when I first saw you, girl. Brother, I adore you as well.

    I'm currently planning for a surprise for my brother. John Lester, have a wonderful birthday!!! You have now reached the age of 22. I wish good health and have lived a long time.

   Brother how If they know dad and mom our relationship what will we do. What we children should know. Dad, Michelle and I are official couple . Don't you know what you're thinking. You're siblings. But dad we love. We love each other. Dad what is happening to you. Brother, dad can't breathe, call an ambulance. Hurry up,

   Dad died of heart disease a few months ago. I told my brother that we should call it quits on our relationship.  I don't want us to come to a halt. Michelle, I will always love you. When you forget me, I'm going to commit suicide. I can't bear the thought of losing you to me. Michelle, don't abandon me. There are a lot of people who don't like our friendship. We are brothers, and Dad is right. We would be dissatisfied.

   Mom, I'm sorry for what my brother and I did, but I think I just need to avoid my brother for a while so he forgets about me. Michelle, I know it's difficult for you to make the decision, but have you decided to go to America to pursue your studies? I'm not upset with your relationship with your older brother, but the two of you are going to have a difficult time. So, as long as you're happy, I'll back you up.

   I cried my way to church because I was in such a mess. I was at a loss for what to do. When I leave here, I hope my brother John Lester understands why I’m going. Why are you crying, Michelle?  You dry your face with this handkerchief. You're aware. If you’re having trouble, they say  that “the road to true happiness is one of acceptance and letting go”.

   I spoke with my older brother once more to make him realize that our relationship was not working. To persuade him that our relationship is only temporary. Thank you, Michelle, for reminding me that someone loves me no matter how I feel. Thank you for being there for me at all times. I adore you, my little one. When you leave for America, I hope you are cautious. Never, ever forget. Yes, take care of Mom here, brother. I love you!

    After a few years, I received no news from my older brother, and I moved to America, where I married. To tell you the truth, it was my husband who gave me the handkerchief. Yes, Alfred, I am glad I married him, and we have two sons together.

[puppy-phum]

So many good WIPs! I am so curious about your heihua plans? and your guardian au!

oh wow hmm. i don’t want to reveal too much about my heihua plans but let’s say that it happens in the same “universe” (which is basically the canon universe right?) as my pingxie but before that. i’ve planned to start my heihua somewhere around sand sea and xiao hua’s fake funeral and then end it at xiaoge’s funeral.it would be hei xiazi pov and probably more of a character study on him bc he’s so interesting. i just want to write heihua being soft and slowly growing around each other even if their relationship is very much established at this point. the story itself would revolve somewhere around hei xiazi bringing “kids” into their life as he keeps saving these young ppl from his trips. su wan is one of the center figures i suppose. i just liked the idea of hei xiazi very jokingly adopting all these kids and helping them in their lives while carrying the pain of... i don’t know, somehow being the same? seeing himself in those kids? we talked about this with @cross-d-a at some point and this is basically her idea which i got very attached to ^^ ♥

and my guardian au! am glad you asked about that :’D it was supposed to be an au where zhao yunlan is the god and shen wei is the normal human. it was supposed to have some reincarnation stuff? like another life after their end in the drama.

basically, it was going to start with zhao yunlan working on earth in similar duties as he does with sid in the drama while still being a god (a trickster god!) from a different realm that has been shut away from the human realm. somehow tho this very strange disease has spread from the god realm amongst the humans during the last couple of decades and to control its spreading, the ones infected have been taken inside these camps where they mine minerals for a living (heavily inspired by reboot and wu xie, pangzi and liu sang ending up to that jade mine haha) and try to find these crystals that would provide the cure. this mine is where zhao yunlan meets shen wei while trying to gather more information about the disease. shen wei again is dying but could provide zhao yunlan with information so zhao yunlan takes him with him. but then the whole thing twists around when after shen wei’s death, he wakes up again, healthy and dark and light energies co-existing within him. 

i had more plans for this too but i have forgotten most of it now :’D but well, more talk about death i suppose? i was just curious about having their roles reversed. here’s a snippet for you (placing it under a cut bc it got long):

He hears the footsteps before the lock on the door clicks and the door swings open. The same guard nods at him before a man walks inside, wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans. There is a silver pendant with a feather around his neck and a holster with a gun on his hip. He has wild black hair, curling just under his bearded chin and dark eyes that feel so familiar, so wonderful. 

The man smiles widely and launches himself on the other empty chair, throwing his legs up onto the table between them. Shen Wei can see the guard flinch at the motion but then he nods once more and closes the door behind himself. 

“Hello,” the man says, eyes wrinkling with his smile, hand coming up to a lazy wave. Shen Wei shivers involuntarily at the words. “My name is Zhao Yunlan. I have a few questions for you, mister Shen Wei.”

“Questions?” he rasps out and instinctively cups his own neck, presses nails against the tendrils trying to steal his breath. Not now, not yet, he thinks. He still has months to go. And he needs those months if he wishes to solve any of these dying secrets, any of this injustice. He still has too little. He cannot leave before he has more. 

“There was an incident last week,” Zhao Yunlan continues, settles better into lounging in his chair. His dirty boots leave a stripe to the tabletop, and Shen Wei has a strange urge to wipe it away despite being dirtier himself, hands dark with gravel and nails broken from all the digging. He showered yesterday but all of the dirt never leaves him. It’s like the energy that clings to him with its inky teeth. “Someone went back, healed. I heard you knew him?”

Ah, he knows now. He had wondered when someone would become interested. Guo Changcheng had been young, had looked pale and skinny inside the dark tunnels, under the fluorescent light. He had been here before Shen Wei, and Shen Wei had somehow become attached to the young boy. He had wanted the boy to outlive him. But then, his eyes had started to turn into oblivion. 

“We did not find any crystals if that is what you are after,” he says, bows his head politely. He does not know who this man is but his mother did not raise a hooligan. He crosses his arms, corrects his posture. Zhao Yunlan studies him for a moment, still so achingly familiar. Have they met, Shen Wei wonders. But where would that have been? 

“This is not about the crystals,” Zhao Yunlan says, waving his hand in dismissal. “They’re bullshit anyway. This is only about the boy who recovered - your friend? Did you see him before he left? Did you notice anything strange? Anything unusual?”

“Nothing,” Shen Wei snaps, strangely agitated by the man’s words. He does not know why this all makes him so angry. Maybe it’s the secrets he’s not been allowed to solve. Maybe it’s the senselessness of this all.  “He had reached the last stages and was supposed to die. The guards took Xiao Guo away to give him his last peace and I - “

“Did you meet him after? When he was healthy again?”

“No,” he says, now turning away. There is something unnerving in the way Zhao Yunlan looks at him, like he can see more than just Shen Wei’s face, his tainted skin. Like he can see his soul, the one twisted in chaos, ripped to shreds by the energy he should not hold. “He was not allowed back here. Xiao Guo was a miracle and they did not want him to get infected again.”

“Which he cannot anymore. His soul has healed and rejects dark energy now,” Zhao Yunlan answers with a smile that is softer now, just a gentle stretch of his lips. He looks younger suddenly, and there’s a flash just before Shen Wei’s eyes, like a memory he does not know how to look at anymore. 

“How can you be sure?” he asks quietly. Zhao Yunlan snaps his fingers, and a lollipop in its colorful wrapper appears out of thin air. 

Shen Wei’s eyes widen, hands clasp around the edges of his chair. He stares, and Zhao Yunlan cocks a brow at him. 

“You are a god,” Shen Wei whispers.

thank you for your ask and i hope you liked this ^^ ♥

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars XLV (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: Poor kids, they’re not so little anymore.

Words: 2,707

Warnings: Mentions of period (as in menstruation)

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Four: Back In The Routine.

The days passed and they finished packing. 

Mel tried several times to get an answer from her uncle about where he was going, but he would change the subject just as fast.

She was worried, to say the least. If he moved even further away that'd be problematic for Mel and her mother. Considering how often her uncle gets sick, it was almost bound to be tricky, and now that she was attending Hogwarts, the chances of helping were slim.

Her uncle didn't seem to be thinking about that though, he did act nervous, and Mel had noticed he'd started to read magical books more than usual, most of them about creatures and curses and all that. She wondered if he was thinking of going on some kind of dangerous trip. Either way, it was time to say goodbye, and Mel knew she wouldn't be seeing him for a while, maybe until next summer.

She was getting ready to bed when something felt odd. She'd been feeling uneasy the whole day, but thought it was just the nerves and excitement of seeing her friends again. Thinking that maybe she'd gotten sick, the girl got out of her room and into the bathroom.

It was worse, way worse than she'd thought it would be.

Mel had gotten her period.

"Oh no," She breathed, "no no no no no no..."

A knock startled her.

"Yes?" She said in a high-pitched voice.

"Is everything alright?" Uncle Lu asked, "You've been there for a while–"

"I need Mum," She said, "I'm- I'm having a bit of uh... I got my... I'm bleeding?"

There was a deafening silence after her sentence. After what felt like decades to her, Uncle Lu finally spoke up.

He cleared his throat, "I'll call her. You... you wait here..."

She was still a little girl... Okay not that little, but she was a girl! Girls didn't have periods!

Or did they?

"Love?" Her mother called softly through the door, "Can I open the door?"

After a short confirmation, the door clicked and her mother entered holding a small package of something she recognized immediately. Mel started to cry.

"S'not fair!" She sniffed, "I don't like how it feels!"

"Oh, darling..." Her mother kneeled beside her, stroking her back. "I know is not nice, but it'll pass..."

"I don't want it!" She continued, "There has to be some magical fix that you can give me!"

"There is," Her mother grimace, "but I can't give it to you, this is the first time, you have to let it happen–"

"Why?! It sucks!" She didn't know why she was so affected about it, as if the worst of diseases had fallen upon her.

"It could damage your body if you cut it out so soon..." her mother cleared her throat, clearly uncomfortable, "I don't know if you'll want babies, but it's better to have all the options than having none, right?"

"Babies?!" She said with horror, "I am a baby! I don't even know if I'll want to date!"

Emily's lip quivered, but it was hard to tell if it was because she was holding her laughter, or if she was just as affected as the girl.

"I don't want you to grow up either, Mel. But it looks like your body has a different idea."

Mel leaned back on the toilet, looking up at the ceiling in total despair.

"This is it. The boys will know."

Her mother laughed.

"They won't. But who cares, anyway?"

"I do!" She frowned. "And I'll have to deal with this nonsense! How long 'till I can take something to make it stop?"

"A year," Her mother said, preparing for impact.

"A YEAR?!"

"Shh! Mel, you'll scare your uncle!"

"A year," She repeated, "oh, bloody- I mean... this is going to be a horrible year."

Once she was tucked in bed, sad as ever, her uncle sneaked inside her room, holding a cup of something.

"Chocolate," He said simply, before leaving again, "drink it, it'll help."

She stayed silent for most of the trip, sleepy and soar, didn't want to talk about it. It was sad to leave her uncle like this, but she hoped he understood, Mel was growing against her will.

When they arrived at the leaky cauldron, Mel wanted nothing but to take a nap for the rest of the week, but she soon forgot about it when Harry walked down the stairs, probably about to go shopping.

She dropped her luggage in surprise, the noise catching his attention.

"Glasses!" She rushed over to the boy. "How've you been? Did you miss us lots?"

Harry chuckled as he returned the hug.

"I've been busy... How was your break from my annoying face and all?"

"It... went well, most of it anyway," She shrugged, deciding she wouldn't say a thing to Harry about her new burden. "Are you going to Diagon Alley? Mum! Can I go?"

Emily approached the kids, giving Harry a quick kiss and hug before replying.

"Just try to get here before dinner, I'll take the things to our room..."

Both kids went to the back door and pressed the third brick on the wall.

"There's a new broom," Harry started, practically dragging her to the store, "you ought to see it, I want to ask about the price but I won't dare, I have my nimbus after all, but it's just... you need to see it."

They stopped at the shopfront, Harry pointed eagerly to the broom facing them.

Mel gasped when she saw it. It was truly impressive, the way the wood and every little branch was shaped so perfectly. Its name was Firebolt, and Mel loved it.

"Woah..." She leaned closer, it looked like she was trying to go through the glass, "should we ask? Just to know- I know I wouldn't be able to afford it... not that I need it since I'm not on the team but... wow"

"I know," Harry agreed.

"Harry! Mel! HARRY!" A voice called from a few feet away.

Sitting outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, were Ron and Hermione, both waving at them.

"Finally!" said Ron once they approached them. "We went to the Leaky Cauldron, but they said you'd left, and we went to Flourish and Blotts, and Madam Malkin's, and —"

"I got all my school stuff last week," Harry explained. "And how come you knew I'm staying at the Leaky Cauldron?"

"You didn't tell them?" Mel frowned.

Harry seemed taken by surprise by her question.

"I only told you..."

"Dad told me," Ron replied casually.

"Did you really blow up your aunt, Harry?" said Hermione seriously.

"I didn't mean to," said Harry while Ron and Mel laughed. "I just — lost control."

"It's not funny," said Hermione sharply. "Honestly, I'm amazed Harry wasn't expelled."

"Oh, I am too," Mel nodded.

"So am I," admitted Harry. "Forget expelled, I thought I was going to be arrested." He looked at Ron. "Your dad doesn't know why Fudge let me off, does he?"

"Probably 'cause it's you, isn't it?" Ron chuckled. "Famous Harry Potter and all that. I'd hate to see what the Ministry'd do to me if I blew up an aunt. Mind you, they'd have to dig me up first, because Mum would've killed me. Anyway, you can ask Dad yourself this evening. We're staying at the Leaky Cauldron tonight too! So you can come to King's Cross with us tomorrow! Hermione's there as well!"

"Mum and Dad dropped me off this morning with all my Hogwarts things."

"Excellent!" said Harry. "So, have you got all your new books and stuff?"

"Look at this," said Ron, pulling a long thin box. "Brand-new wand. Fourteen inches, willow, containing one unicorn tail-hair. And we've got all our books —" He pointed at a large bag under his chair. "What about those Monster Books, eh? The assistant nearly cried when we said we wanted two."

"What's all that, Hermione?" Harry asked. Hermione had three full bags of books.

"Well, I'm taking more new subjects than you, aren't I?" said Hermione. "Those are my books for Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, the Study of Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies —"

"What are you doing Muggle Studies for?" said Ron, rolling his eyes. "You're Muggle-born! Your mum and dad are Muggles! You already know all about Muggles!"

"But it'll be fascinating to study them from the wizarding point of view," said Hermione.

"Are you planning to eat or sleep at all this year, Hermione?" asked Harry.

Ron laughed. Hermione ignored them.

"I've still got ten Galleons," she said. "It's my birthday in September, and Mum and Dad gave me some money to get myself an early birthday present."

"How about a nice book?" Ron asked innocently.

"No, I don't think so," said Hermione. "I really want an owl. I mean, Harry's got Hedwig and you've got Errol —"

"I haven't," said Ron. "Errol's a family owl. All I've got is Scabbers. And I want to get him checked over," he placed Scabbers on the table. "I don't think Egypt agreed with him."

"Poor thing," Mel mumbled, then added, "I need to buy my stuff too, just got here from visiting my uncle..."

"There's a magical creature shop just over there," said Harry, pointing to his left. "You could see if they've got anything for Scabbers, and Hermione can get her owl. Then we can get your stuff, Mel."

"Well, if you don't want a replacement, you can try this rat tonic," said the witch, reaching under the counter and bringing out a small red bottle.

"Okay," said Ron. "How much — OUCH!"

Ron buckled as something huge and orange came soaring from the top of the highest cage, landed on his head, and then propelled itself, spitting madly, at Scabbers.

"NO, CROOKSHANKS, NO!" cried the witch, but Scabbers shot from between her hands like a bar of soap, landed splay-legged on the floor, and then scampered for the door.

"Scabbers!" Ron shouted, racing out of the shop after him; Harry followed.

"How pretty!" Hermione approached the cat as the boys ran out of the store.

"Uh-oh," Mel whispered, "Mione, are you sure?"

"Crookshanks has been here for ages, you know," The witch lamented, "he's got an awful temper, that's why..."

"Has he?" Hermione asked, deeply touched, "but is he in for adoption?"

"Yes," The woman said with hopeful eyes. "Are you interested?"

"I am," Hermione beamed.

"Mione," Mel said with caution, "that cat went straight for Ron's throat."

"He just got excited," Hermione brushed off, "I'll take him."

"You bought that monster?" said Ron, his mouth hanging open.

"He's gorgeous, isn't he?" said Hermione, glowing.

"Hermione, that thing nearly scalped me!" said Ron.

"He didn't mean to, did you, Crookshanks?" said Hermione.

The cat purred happily in her arms.

"At least Grey will have some company now," Mel added.

"And what about Scabbers?" said Ron. "He needs rest and relaxation! How's he going to get it with that thing around?"

"That reminds me, you forgot your rat tonic. And stop worrying, Crookshanks will be sleeping in my dormitory and Scabbers in yours, what's the problem? Poor Crookshanks, that witch said he'd been in there for ages; no one wanted him." She said as she offered the tonic to Ron.

"I wonder why," said Ron sarcastically.

"Let's move on," Mel pushed him away from the girl, "I got some shopping to do..."

"Harry! Mel!" Mr. Weasley said as they entered the leaky cauldron. "How are you?"

"Fine, thanks," said Harry.

"How are you?" Mel asked politely.

Mr. Weasley put down his paper, Harry spoke up before the man could reply.

"They still haven't caught him, then?" he asked, pointing at the picture in the Daily Prophet. Sirius Black.

"Hey!" Mel's eyes widened. "That guy was on the telly!"

"Well of course he is," Ron rolled his eyes. "He's just as dangerous to muggles as he is to us."

"Who is he?"

"He's a murderer!" Ron replied eagerly. "Quite crazy, they said they killed about ten–"

"No," said Mr. Weasley, interrupting his son and giving him a severe look. "They've pulled us all off our regular jobs at the Ministry to try and find him, but no luck so far."

"Would we get a reward if we caught him?" asked Ron. "It'd be good to get some more money —"

"Don't be ridiculous, Ron," said Mr. Weasley. "Black's not going to be caught by a thirteen-year-old wizard. It's the Azkaban guards who'll get him back, you mark my words."

Mrs. Weasley got inside the place, followed by the rest of her children. Ginny, as usual, got very red when she saw Harry, barely capable of muttering just a greeting. Percy, however, was outdoing himself.

"Harry. How nice to see you." Percy shook his hand with utter formality.

"Hello, Percy," said Harry, glancing at Mel and trying not to laugh.

"I hope you're well?" said Percy still on the same tone.

"Very well, thanks —"

"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy —"

"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."

Percy scowled.

"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.

"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you —"

"I said, that's enough," said Mrs. Weasley, depositing her shopping in an empty chair.

Mel laughed, unable to stay quiet any longer. The twins noticed her presence and dropped the act, ruffling her hair in their normal attitude. She hugged both of the boys, truly happy to see them again.

"Hello, dears. I suppose you've heard our exciting news?" Mrs. Weasley pointed to the brand-new silver badge on Percy's chest. "Second Head Boy in the family!"

"And last," Fred muttered to Mel, though he did it loudly enough for his mother to hear.

"I don't doubt that," said Mrs. Weasley. "I notice they haven't made you two prefects."

"What do we want to be prefects for?" said George, snorting. "It'd take all the fun out of life."

"Besides, you'd have to punish yourselves all the time," Mel teased.

"You want to set a better example for your sister!" snapped Mrs. Weasley.

"Ginny's got other brothers to set her an example, Mother," said Percy. "I'm going up to change for dinner..."

As he left the room, George added. "We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us."

"Pitty," Mel rolled her eyes, but grinned anyway. "I bet Egypt was fun..."

"We got so many new ideas!" Fred replied, putting an arm around her shoulders and guiding her towards the stairs, "Hear us out..."

"I don't want any part on it, just to set things clear," Mel shook her head, "I'm starting new this year! I told you Dumbledore offered to give me extra lessons? I can't set a bad example now!"

"Oh, don't be dull," George scoffed, "don't tell us you're planning to be Head Girl or something..."

"Maybe," She shrugged, "I told you, you can't judge people just because they don't have the same goals..."

"Well, that's just a terrible idea," Fred shook his head, "A Head Girl! Think of all the possibilities you're throwing out! Behaving like a good student won't leave enough fun memories for when you grow up."

"Yeah, what're you going to tell your kids?" George inquired. "All your stories will be about your study sessions and the grades you got– That's boring."

"I don't know if I want kids!" Mel snapped, her talk with her mother coming back in full force.

"Don't upset her," Ginny had followed them upstairs, she managed to push her way in between George and Mel, and was now grabbing her arm, pulling her away from Fred's grip. "It's my turn to talk to her, go away!"

"You saw that?" Fred said with wide eyes, "The disrespect!"

"You give them freedom and this is how they pay you," George shook his head, "okay then, we'll leave you..."

"Come on," Ginny said to her with excitement, "I'll show you all I got from Egypt!"

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@tiphareth2018​ @vampiregirl1797​ @siriuslysirius1107​ @celestialhayi​ @mikariell95​ @omiwashere​ @thesuitelifeofafangirl​ @kylosleftbuttcheek​ @steve-thotgers​ @tomshollandz​ @reverse-hxlland​ 

[lilaclovestowrite]

Arcade Chaos (Katsuki x Cheerful!Reader)

“ Bakugo oneshot with cheerful!reader at arcade plz? ”

Type: Request from Quotev

Words: 2556

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Katsuki x Reader

Genre: Hint of fluff, lots of Katsuki rage lol, and mainly humor

Summary: Somehow, you’re able to drag your crush, Katsuki Bakugou, to an arcade for the day. Of course, this creates chaos, since the Bakusquad happens to be there as well. But maybe, after all the chaos, you’ll finally be able to confess your true feelings to him!

Warnings:

None

💥💥💥

 “Why the heck are we in this lame place!?” questioned an irritated Katsuki.

“Cuz arcades are fun!” I answered, leading him in by the hand. He was very resistant—but he was no match for my nonexistent strength.

 “Fun? This place is for nerds who live in their mom’s basement. Just like stupid—”

 “Deku, yeah, yeah,” I finished for him with a blasé attitude. “I’ve heard it all before. Why don’t you just focus on something else besides Midoriya?”

 “Pfft, like what?”

 “Uh, something that actually matters. Video games, obviously.”

 “I’m leaving.” Just as he tried to escape, I pulled him back.

 “Get yer hands off me!” He flicked his wrist away from me, and huffed as he scanned the arcade’s interior.

“Come on, please stay with me for just an hour? PLEEEEEAAAASSSEEEEEE~!?” I forcefully smiled, holding my hands together in a purposely pathetic pose.

 “Well, you already kidnapped me so—whatever. And what’s the difference between these games and the ones on my phone? Only geeks play these chunky, 8-bit fossils.”

 “Trust me. You’ll see,” I vaguely left as an answer.

After I dragged Katsuki around the building, I asked him if anything caught his eye. “So, do you know what game you wanna play?”

 “’Nuke the Zombies’ didn’t look too trashy, I guess.”

 I blinked once. “Uhh, how about something more child-friendly?”

 “Fine. How about ’Blow up the Bunny’ then?”

 Why did I ever think this was a good idea?

 “Let’s not.”

But what we didn’t know, is that our other friends happened to be here as well! Eijiro, Denki, Hanta, and Mina approached us all at once.

 “Wow! Hey, guys! Nice to see you here,” Eijiro greeted.

 Hanta laughed. “Didn’t really expect to see you two here. . .specifically, together.”

 “The heck you mean by that!?” Katsuki nearly erupted, but I held him back.

 “Oh, y’know—just figured you’d be at home plotting your revenge for Midoriya or something.”

His response only earned him a snarl from Katsuki. But Mina, on the other hand, decided to push all of Katsuki’s buttons without thinking.

 “Maybe they’re on a date!!” she gasped. “WAIT, ARE YOU—”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH!! This isn’t a heckin’ date!” Katsuki debunked. “She bugged me nonstop about coming to this trash hole, and finally got on my nerves, so I came.”

 By the smug look on my friend’s faces—they were obviously not buying it. Truthfully, I wouldn’t have minded it if were a date. Considering I’ve always had a thing for Katsuki. People may have thought I was crazy for liking someone so spastic with anger management issues—but there was more to him than just his atrocious personality. He had a lot of admirable qualities like uh, well, I’ll think of some later.

 “Alright then~” Mina giggled.

 “Guys, when can we play some games?” asked Denki.

“Right now!” Eijiro made an immediate beeline for Whac-A-Mole. “Bakugou, you gotta try out this game! I used to play it when I was younger, and it’s so much fun.”

 “The heck is it?”

 Katsuki stormed over and studied the attributes of the vintage game, while Eijiro explained the rules of it to him.

 “And when the mole thing rises up, you just hit it with this mallet!”

 “Pfft, sounds like a baby game. Pass.”

 “Aw, c’mon!” I joined in, trying to convince him to try it out.

 Hanta agreed, “Yeah! Don’t be such a wet blanket, man.”

After all our nagging, he eventually gave in and reluctantly picked up the game mallet. “Gross, a thousand brats probably got their diseased germs all over this thing.”

 “They’re not as diseased as your attitude, that’s for sure—”

 “COME AGAIN, KNOCK-OFF PIKACHU!?!”

 “Hey, hey,” Eijiro tried calming. “Just try one round at least!”

 “Ugh, fine.”

Once the game started, the plastic moles slowly rose up from their holes, and each one was hammered by Katsuki. He displayed his obvious boredom through stance and expression.

 “This game is about as fun as watching paint dry.”

 “Oh, it gets harder,” I snickered.

 “This is about as hard as using Deku as a football.”

But he was soon showed otherwise—as the game’s difficulty increased. The moles now only stayed up for half a second now, and even Katsuki was having a hard time keeping up.

 “C’mon, dude! Whack them!” Eijiro cheered.

“THIS STUPID MALLET ISN’T WORKING!!!” he screeched, causing the rest of the people around us to stare. It was a bit embarrassing. But that’s my penalty for going out in public with Katsuki. “DIE, RATS, DIEEEEEE!!!!” So, he dropped the mallet, and just started exploding the moles with his hands.

 And of course, the result was he melted the arcade machine. All the moles were now nothing but liquefied plastic, which was totally uncalled for compared to the games standards.

 I walked back to my friend’s table with Katsuki by my side.

“Alright, I just called Katsuki’s therapist and he was able to, er—scream out his issues. So, I think we’re good!” I informed with a thumbs up.

 “My therapist can bite rocks.”

 I let out a sigh of disappointment at his rude response.

 “Hey, (Y/N)! Did you see any games that caught your eye?” Hanta wondered.

 I answered with, “Hmm. . .well, I did wanna play Whac-A-Mole. But now it’s melted into the flooring, so. . .”

“It wasn’t even fun,” Katsuki downplayed. “I have more fun beating Deku. Wait—they should make a game called Whac-A-Deku. Now, I’d play that.”

 We only stared at our friend, mildly disturbed.

 Hanta said, “Pac-Man it is, then.”

 After playing a few more games, we headed to the eating area. We ordered some pizza and soda, so we just chatted as we ate.

 “You guys, what do you think is better? Pac-Man or Ms. Pac-Man?” asked Mina.

 “They’re the same thing, Raccoon Eyes.”

 “NO, PAC-MAN IS A MAN, AND MS. PAC-MAN IS A WOMAN.”

 I awkwardly nibbled on my pizza, watching the conversation between them take a nosedive for the worst.

 “Guys, is butter a carb?” Katsuki asked us.

 Denki replied, “I don’t know—I don’t watch Gordon Ramsey.”

“Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.” He launched his pizza in the trash can (which he carelessly missed), and headed back to the ordering station.

 Just as Katsuki got out of earshot, Mina immediately began interrogating me.

 “So. . .ya sure you two weren’t on a date~?”

 I went red with total shock and embarrassment. “What? No way! He doesn’t like me like that.”

 Hanta chuckled. “He liked you enough for you to literally drag him here. That’s like, a deathwish for most people.”

 I knew he had a point.

 Eijiro said, “Plus, he needs a girlfriend. He needs someone to keep him fairly sane.”

All their talking had me blushing. Yes, I liked Katsuki a lot—but I never thought it’d go any further than that. However, you never know about these kind of things.

 “So. . .should I ask him out or something?” I hesitantly questioned.

 “Go ahead! I mean, there’s not a line of girls trying to date him, that’s for sure.”

 I took it into consideration. Maybe today, I should try to make a move. I mean, YOLO, amirite?

 “Alright, I’ll try next time I see him,” I gulped.

 They all smiled uncontrollably, but instinctively stopped once Katsuki returned to the table.

 “Why’re you idiots all staring at me like a bunch of idiots?”

“Oh, uh—well. . .” I mentally prepared myself for rejection. I knew all my friends were bursting at the seams, waiting for me to confess my feelings to Katsuki. But it was just so awkward. So, I chickened out. “I uh, wanted to know if you were gonna share your cheese fries with me.”

 “What does share mean?”

 I could hear Eijiro facepalm. So, I ended the awkwardness with, “Nothing! Just eat your fries—”

 Later, we all continued searching for what else to play.

 So, I cleared my throat to get everyone’s attention. “Ahem. How about we do something that’s multiplayer?”

 “You mean like a competition?” Katsuki wondered, a psychotic smile forming on his face once the idea of winning first place entered his mind. Now, we were all scared.

“Uh, you’re smiling like a psycho again—I MEAN, uh, yeah! We just need to find a game that allows two players. . .and one that isn’t taken.” As I examined the room and every one of its consoles, I found one that caught my eye.

 Dance Dance Revolution (DDR).

 “Hmm, I know! That one!” I excitedly pointed to the one I was referring to.

 “OMG, that one is so cool! I used to play it when I was younger!” Mina beamed.

“Oh, great. Dancing? I thought you’d pick something that would actually hold my interest. Like no-scoping zombies or something.”

 I crossed my arms and said the thing I knew would make him do what I wanted. “What? You think you can’t beat me? Think I’m gonna win instead~?”

 “Pfft, in your dreams. I’d beat you at any game at any time of the week. You’re a lame gamer.”

 “You think so, eh? Well, let’s just find out!” I skipped over to the DDR machine and patiently waited for the two children to finish up their round. However, patience wasn’t an idea Katsuki could process in his arrogant brain.

 “Hit the road, punks! I’ve got a game to win!” He shoved the two kids off, and cleared the platforms for both of us. I tried mouthing an apology to the two schoolboys, but they had already escaped to find their parents.

 Katsuki extended his arms and stretched out his fingers. Eijiro and Hanta approached me, asking if I was sure this was a good idea. I knew Katsuki was unhealthily obsessed with winning, but that only made it more fun being his opponent, at least in my opinion! (Plus, seeing him fail was ten-times funnier).

 “Go easy on her, dude,” Denki tried helping out.

“No way, Calamari. I’m not a braindead loser like you.” Finishing up his mini exercise, he stepped onto the dance platform. “What’re you waiting for, girly?” Katsuki snarked at me with a confident smirk.

 I stepped on mine as well, and scrolled through the list of songs to perform. “We could start with easy mode,” I offered.

 “No way. Go for the hardest mode you can find.”

 Someone was going to break their legs, and it wasn’t going to be Midoriya this time around.

 “Oh. . .well, uh—alright!” I landed my finger on this Vocaloid song called The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku, which was apparently the most challenging one on this menu. “Alright, there’s the modes: Beginner, Intermediate, Pro, Master, and uh, Death.”

 “Choose Death then.”

 With a cloud of anxiousness looming over my figure, I pressed that option. I didn’t know what to expect—but I was scared.

 “How bad can it be?” chuckled Eijiro.

 Oh, but it was pain. It was the most torture I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.

When the gameplay started, it wasn’t too hard in the intro of the song. But when the fast part came, it was like we were dancing to save our lives. People in the building came to spectate us and our anguish—but our friends cheered us on the entire time.

 “REEEEEEEEE, END MEEEEEEEEEE!!!” Katsuki screeched as he barely managed to touch the flashing tiles on his platform.

I felt as if I was jumping across a room full of nails sticking straight up. I could barely keep up with the beat of the song, and I was already exhausted. But we weren’t even halfway into it.

 “BEATING ALL FOR ONE IS EASIER THAN THIS TORTURE MACHINE!” roared Katsuki.

 “You’re almost to the beat break!” Hanta reassured.

Finally, the first verse of the song ended. So, our legs could take a break for a few seconds. Katsuki and I were desperately trying to regain oxygen, since it was such a rush. When we looked at our current scores—I saw that I was luckily five points higher than Katsuki.

 “WHAT THE HECK!? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!?” he raged.

 “HA.”

 Everyone cheered for me at the moment, but Katsuki wasn’t having it. He was more than determined to beat me now.

When the gameplay resumed, we continued to push ourselves to dance on the correct tiles. Our scores were nearing closer together, and it was only a matter of time before one of us passed each other for good and won.

 “ALMOST THERE,” Katsuki spoke to himself, as he glimpsed at his own score.

But just the moment before it was all over, Denki accidentally activated his Quirk due to the hype building up in his system—and it shot out at the DDR machine, causing it to short-circuit and die.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Katsuki bellowed out, as he fell on his knees and placed his hands on the now black screen. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU, STUPID PIKACHU!!!”

 However, it was pointless because Denki already fried his brain and went dumb. “Wheyyyy~”

Eijiro couldn’t help but laugh hysterically, along with Hanta and Mina. It only made Katsuki’s blood boil—and frankly, I couldn’t help but giggle too.

 “I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS PAIN.” Katsuki stood up and stalked out of the arcade. Of course, I followed him.

 “Katsuki! Don’t be upset. It’s only a game.”

 “I WAS SO CLOSE TO WINNING!” he fumed. “I COULD HAVE BROKEN THE STUPID RECORD—”

“Shh, just relax! They’ll probably fix it, and we can always come back later.” I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, which he surprisingly didn’t flick off.

 “Hmph. I’m never playing that demon game ever again.”

 I laughed softly. “Well, there’s plenty of other games. But other than the fact Denki shut off the game—did you have fun?”

 He turned his head to me, and for I moment, I swear I saw his eyes soften by a fraction. “Maybe a little—but not that much.”

 I’ll take that as a yes, coming from him.

But now that we were together with no other distractions, I decided to take a risk and slide my hand into his. He widened his eyes—since affection was probably a concept far removed from his unfriendly mentality.

 I looked down at the floor and smiled, saying, “I was thinking, Katsuki. Would you uh, would you consider being my Player Two?”

 I didn’t even care how cheesy I was being at this point.

 “The heck does that mean?”

 Our friends screamed from a distance, “SHE’S ASKING YOU OUT, GENIUS!”

Katsuki stiffened up, since he was struggling to find a riposte to throw back in my face. But it was relentless. Instead, he let out a sigh and told me, “That’s the sappiest and most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard—but sure. You’re not as annoying as the others.”

 I strained my cheeks from smiling so much, and I threw my arms gleefully around Katsuki. The others were probably afraid he’d blow up or something, but thankfully, he didn’t. Instead, he returned the favor by awkwardly rubbing my head.

 “They’re so cute together~” sighed Mina.

 “Yeah, Bakugou better not screw it up,” Eijiro added with a smile.

 “It’s Bakugou, he screws everything up.”

 “True.”

 Maybe coming to this place was a good idea after all~

[stingroy]

Who do you think was the mist immoral character of Moral Orel Clay or Censordoll? Do you think there were evil characters in the show or were they just flawed people trying to do what they perceived as the right thing?

THIS POST IS LONG BEWARE

im bias but clay all the way

if ms censordoll was a real person i would despise her, but in the show shes really fun and interesting to watch imo! of course i dont condone book burning and censorship i just think shes a good character to critique and make fun censorship with, plus i love her voice whoever her voice actor is did a great job. to be honest i havent rewatched the episodes where shes a main focal point in a long while so i need to refresh my memory before id be able to really form a strong opinion on her that i would stand by firmly

clay is an abusive addict with no interest in anyone else but himself, he has no agenda other than to get drunk and be miserable. i mean maybe he’s “invested” in teaching orel because he’s his only (legitamate) son but then... nature still happened. clay often talks about how hes distant from his family on purpose and doesnt care about them so i dont think he really gives that much of a shit all in all. i know he had a difficult childhood (yet another episode i need to rewatch (its been years), im on s2e3 so i still have a ways) but it doesnt justify like anything he does. cool motive still murder yknow? clay reminds me a lot of my religious alcoholic estranged father so i DEFINITELY have a personal bone to pick with clay cuz ive been there.

when it comes to whether the townspeople are evil, i feel like that question really lies at the heart of the show, not just for clay and censordoll but almost everyone in moralton (cept for orel of course). i could go into that concept for the next seventeen years so i wont right now but i think between the both of them at least censordoll probably thought she was doing the right thing for the people in her town. not that anything she did was actually right, but organizing all those daily pickets and book burnings must take some effort, right? someone who didnt care at all wouldnt go through the trouble. she seems to like genuinely care about moralton being righteous, even if her idea of righteous media is completely skewed and wrong. i wouldnt call that evil, horribly misguided and incorrect definitely but evil? im not really sure.

again tho its been a while so my opinion might change as i run thru s2 and 3 again, and im really starting to consider that if censordoll was a real person i probably would consider her to be evil but that might be more of a comment on my thought processes and perception of people than censordoll herself... lol

i dont know if clay even thinks he’s doing the right thing by orel truly. i think somewhere deep inside past his addiction there is someone in there trying to do something for orel, trying to keep him on the right path in a weird and terribly unfortunate way. clay has made it clear through his actions that he will not engage with parts of his family that he doesnt care about (cough bloberta and shapey cough), and he seems to always make time for orel. whenever orel needs to talk to him, clay is around to give his lessons and “guidance”. maybe thats just because his lessons are a crucial part of the show, but i think that shows. some effort? some acknowledgement? that he doesnt show to anything else other than drinking.

unfortunately clay is a sick motherfucker. he’s so rooted in his own trauma and addiction that he cant see anything other than his own pain. and i do absolutely sympathize with that, ive dealt with my own traumas and addictions and you lose sight of who you are and what you value. sometimes people can get to the point where they lose everything they love other than the bottle, and then they die and lose that too. its a disease, and its absolutely not someones fault that they have an alcohol problem.

but clay gives into himself. he makes no effort to change his situation, bloberta even brings this up in s1ep10 when theyre arguing about shapey’s breastfeeding. she tells him to quit his stinkin dead end job and stop being such a crybaby and you know what shes mean af but shes right! all clay does is wallow around and drink because hes miserable and stays miserable because he drinks. he numbs everything out instead of changing his life for... convenience? image? fear? probably a combo

my real problem with clay is that he hurts people because he is hurt. thats where my sympathy dies and i no longer really care about his motivations and trauma. i think nature is the clearest example of that, but clay hurts orel throughout the show. like damn he literally beats the kid with a belt in 90% of the episodes. its just not justifiable to me at all.

i will say one more thing that clay does that i think really says something about him. everytime orel does something wrong, clay takes him to his study, beats/spanks him with the belt (we never see it so who knows how severe it is), and then talks to orel. and orel LISTENS. ALWAYS. clay doesnt have to beat orel to punish him, orel has such a strong sense of loyalty and obiedience that his true punishment is his fathers disappointment. orel always listens to what clay says without question, and clay still finds it nessecary to beat him. it makes me think that clay gets something else out of that interaction like vindication, stress relief, or something of that nature. its cruel, and its selfish. its like beating a dog. you dont have to do it to make him listen to you, so why do it? probably for a reason other than discipline.

clay and censordoll are obvs the two people we’re talking about but a lot of people in moralton do bad things for the sake of righteousness and goodness. like i said a bit earlier i really do think that question is The Big Question of the show, and i feel like many people will have varying opinions based on their own morals and life experiences. the intricate motivations and values of each of the characters in moral orel is one of the things that makes the show so great and so interesting that here i am writing a long winded “analysis” on it on tumblr a decade after it was released.

WOW i completely derailed myself and started rambling for seven hours but!!!

tl;dr clay is a bitch and the people of moralton arent inherently evil monsters but i sure do have my problems with them