#but while A'vi would be happy for a moment this wouldn't really free him from his gloom because the issue lies so much deeper...

[avirael]

Silence

A‘viloh sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair, probably to sooth the by now sour muscles in his back. How much longer would he be able to remain here without going mad, Rael wondered, standing in the doorframe.

It had been almost two weeks since Operation Archon and the defeat of the imperial forces led by Gaius van Baelsar and ever since everybody was in high spirits and busy planning a victory ceremony at Lake Silvertear.

A‘viloh however did feel nothing but misserable since that day they defeated Ultima and Lahabrea. More precisely since they had to haul Thancred‘s seemingly lifeless body out of the ruins of the Praetorium.

A‘vi had really thought him dead at first and even though Rael had quickly reassured him otherwise, "dead" was the only word to appropriately describe how Thancred looked.

Even now, safely back at the Waking Sands, A‘viloh couldn’t help but panic every once in a while when he startled up after dozing off for a moment, fearing that Thancred had stopped breathing before he noticed the almost missable heaving of his chest. The Hyur lay entirely silent and motionless like a corpse, his skin looked pale even in the warm candlelight and deep dark shadows were carved below his closed eyes. His breathing was steady but unnervingly slow and way too easy to miss for a person just sleeping.

"Just sleeping."

That’s what the healers had said. They claimed nothing except exhaustion seemed to be wrong with him medically and that he was physically fine. As far as Rael could tell, that even seemed to be true. However about what the possession by an Ascian may have done to his mind no one dared to utter any theories. At first Rael too had suggested that after what Thancred had been through he would probably just need a day or two to sleep everything off but a lot more days had passed since then and he was still fast asleep. By now the healers were completely clueless and even the Padjal, who Rael had asked for advice due to A‘viloh‘s growing despair, knew no way to help him. At least Kan-E-Senna had the sincerity to admit that the influence by an Ascian could have caused irreversible damage to his mind or his soul and that she was not sure if he would ever wake up again at all.

Considering how much A‘viloh seemed to blame himself for what had happened to Thancred, this revelation had made his whole world come crashing down around him. Blaming himself was nonsense of course, but no matter how often anybody told him that it wasn’t his fault and that he could have done nothing different to improve their friends fate, A‘vi kept on insisting that he should have noticed sooner and how it would have spared them so much pain and death and how just maybe Thancred would be in a better condition now.

It was clearly all the result of him almost continuously sitting in silence by Thancreds bedside since not quite two weeks now, barely sleeping or eating and most certainly thinking way to much about the happenings and his role in all of this.

"I‘m so sorry..."

"Please wake up."

"I can‘t loose you too."

"Forgive me…"

This and similar things A’viloh had muttered countless times already, his voice more and more quiet and his eyes growing sadder and sadder every day. But all he got in return was silence.

It was a heartbreaking sight for all of them but only Rael understood how deep the Miqo’te’s grief and self-doubt truly went. They tried their best to keep him company but he kept sending them away. They tried to comfort him with reassuring words or a blanket to keep him warm but he still looked like a homeless kitten lost in the rain. The best they could do was to keep him fed and on a minimum dose of sleep, but A‘viloh seemed adamant in his resolution to punish himself.

Rael saw that he couldn't do this much longer and that soon he would either just fall over or they would have to drag him away for his own sake. But for now he kept sitting there, by Thancred’s bedside, praying and pleading and crying with nothing for an answer but awful silence that seemed way to loud to bear.