#but when it's a queer-presenting relationship it can't possibly be true

[silvashapeshifter]

yes !!!! this !!!

👆‼️‼️

this is so true. i have the exact same thing with a friend, like maybe i would not buy a house or live with them H24 when i'll have the age to (well if it's to help him to get out the extremely toxic environment his family is setting for him since he's little, in that case i would be glad to host him, as long as he wants and need !!!) i meant like maybe i wouldn't live my whole life or marry or things like how romantic and also some people into a queer platonic relationship usually do. as he's a (cis) guy and i'm afab ((i don't exactly identify as a girl but i do present femininely and i'm perceived as a girl)) being close friends, and teens, people at high school ((mainly last year)) were heavily and annoyingly teasing us, saying we were a couple, and even made jokes about or said to him that he should have or had sex with me ???? like wtf??? a girl genuinely asked me if we were a couple, i calmly answered we were not and she said "okay". like yes !! ((even my parents got it faster that we were friends. how does it come that people who have been immersed in crush culture and the glorification of teenage love for much longer than we teenagers understand much more quickly than people my age that friendship between a guy and a "girl" is possible, and no, neither of us two wants to get into a relationship with the other ?))

and Anó you're so real for that. like how is love at first sight a thing ?? i personally don't get it. whenever i imagine or wanna write romance it always start with a platonic bond, because to me without friendship love just can't exist. that's my point of view and i'm not saying that's it doesn't exist, just that .... i don't get how ??

anyway i don't if it was obvious but i'm questioning myself if i'm arospec in some way, because i've never had romantic crushes (aka being romantically obsessed on someone you sometimes don't even know ??) and it's not really alloromantic from me. which is. funny. because he's ace. so at us two ((my friend and me)) we're basically the sunset flag 🧡💛🤍🩵💙 ((also we both love dragons so it may have been a sign from the start 💫🐉))

NORMALIZE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP, BETWEEN EVERY AND ANY GENDER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE !!

🌲💚🤍🩶🖤

I do agree with it being a genuine issue that people can't fathom relationships that aren't romantic or sexual but as equally devoted to each as those ones.

It's an issue in fandom and also in real life.

I'm very very close with my best friend and I have the same level of devotion towards them as one would a romantic partner. I'd buy a house with them or raise a kid, stuff like that. But we aren't romantically/sexually involved with each other and don't ever want to be.

Also because we are physically affectionate with each other people are always asking if we are having sex or if we are dating or when are we going to date.

It's aggravating because somehow our commitment for each other is viewed as lesser because we aren't doing all that.

I do think it's how we are socialized as we are growing up that makes this an issue.

(Excuse me while I stand on my soap box about platonic physical affection) People like to forget that we are a species that not only craves physical affection but we also Need it to some degree to be healthy, like human babies will straight up perish if they aren't held enough. We don't exactly grow out of that.

(This is, of course, excluding people who don't want to be touched and such. Works the same way as a healthy food, tho it's good for you not everyone is gonna like that food or eat it.)

OH ABSOLUTELY

Unfortunately, the social norm is that romance/sex is superior by default (which is absolute bullshit), all sorts of love are of the same importance, whether romantic or platonic

I think it also comes with the lack of understanding that we have different social needs, for example, I personally can’t even understand the concept of crushes at all, (like wait, people getting romantic feelings for someone they don’t know is real?????? Love at first sight isn’t a bullshit movie thing and people actually fall in love at first sight?????)

My understanding doesn’t matter as much as my behavior does, just because I don’t understand how someone can fall in love with another person who they don’t know doesn’t mean I’ll go and tell someone with a crush that their love is invalid just because I don’t understand it personally

People on the other hand, are very comfortable telling people who aren’t romantically involved to “get on with it” or to ask invasive questions such as “when are you going to date” cause they lack the understanding that people can be just as devoted platonically as people who are devoted romantically

The difference was never the devotion, it’s just the type of love you share, and how you share it

As for physical affection, you’re absolutely right, we are social species by default but with different social needs, some people need physical affection to function, others don’t, some only need it at certain times in certain circumstances and so on

These differences between us is what makes us human, but alas, the majority think that their norm must be the norm for everyone else

Anyway, it’s so sweet to know you have your best friend, hope you guys live long happy lives, take care of yourselves, your love is just as valid and true <333333

[caseofkings]

hey uh hot take here but if your hc is that a canonically pansexual/bisexual character is actually gay, even when the creator explicitly says otherwise, your opinion is wrong. sorry i don't make the rules

[syscest]

Hope you don't mind more "but am I plural" asks, but....

I feel like, I *do* want to be plural, but. Idk, I don't feel anything? Like, I think it sounds so neat to have other people in here with me, but.... I look inward, and I really don't feel anyone else here

I sometimes wish I could just, make myself plural? But it feels, disingenuous somehow. Disrespectful. And I wouldn't really know how to go about it anyway....

Look we're not gonna sit here and be like "go do tulpamancy" or do pop therapy on what's got you feeling that way or something something - but we can talk about a personal experience.

Half a decade ago, we were both a singlet and also desperate to jam ourselves into some kind of romantic polyamorous queer commune (hilarious as a loud aro I know). The experience was pretty suffocating, we didn't always really understand why we felt that way, and we made a lot of dumb decisions as a result.

Soon after we realised we were a system, we also realised that that desperation had gone away? And the funny thing about that is, years prior to this, we'd kind of internally ruled out being plural? Plurality was something we'd seen in other people - dramatic switches and isolated memory. People we liked, but experiences we knew we did not have. Because we knew we weren't plural, we couldn't want it either.

So we always wonder if the unhinged sense of romance we had for purely a brief period of our life - that presented itself almost exclusively as a desire to be permanently surrounded by people we were close with and felt safe around - was in some ways, along with general (less ravenous) desire for good relationships, a desire for our own eventual systemhood?

We can't know, obviously - but I think that adage that strong desires have to come from somewhere rings true. Is it possible to want to be plural when you do not, on some level, have plural experiences waiting to be embraced somehow? At first I want to say no, because it's just no fun to deny someone a desire to conceptualise themselves in a certain way. But then I think - wasn't it possible for us to want to be surrounded in romantic relationships so so badly when we did not, in retrospect, possess a genuine desire for romance as we now understand it?

Wanting to be plural is definitely a symptom of being plural, but also god sometimes we as people are completely wrong in ways that we do not at all understand. Just do your best for yourself.

[respectthepetty]

as a major fan of your Thai BL list, I shall now ask about your Korean BLs! 🤩

I think I can actually trust you 😌😌

Anon Two, thanks for tag-teaming this with the previous Anon, so y'all could squeeze another list out of me. To recap, I've already given y'all:

Top GMMTV Actors

Top GMMTV Pairs

Top Five Taiwanese BLs

Top Ten Thai BLs

So what's one more? @lachikapercebe also asked for this list, but requested only my top five; however, since I already started the list without a specific target number from Anon Two, and Korea gives some of the best confessions in the genre mixed with color coding, I can't reduce the list now. It's too late for me to trim it. I am attached to each pick. They are my children, and I can't desert them, so . . .

Top Ten Korean BLs

Rising Star - Love Tractor

I don't trust Korean BLs. A majority are too short, so either the beginning is confusing or the ending is flat, but unless Love Tractor completely fumbles the second half (which it could because . . . Korea), this will be a yearly top and even possibly an overall top for its country and all BLs. It's that good to me. It's hitting all the normal K-drama notes while being oh-so-very-gay. And as a rural queer, it pleases my soul to see country life presented in such a kind and beautiful way.

#10 - Roommates of Poongduck 304

Mr. Petty Peter Jae Yoon independently earned a spot on this list. Ho Joon was a jerk and a true nemesis when the show began, but Jae Yoon started effing up Ho Joon's home life the more Ho Joon kept messing up his work life, so it was a beautiful tit-for-tat the first few episodes; then, Ho Joon lost focus and wanted a consensual workplace relationship. His father appreciating his new attitude and rejection of his ladies' man ways was a delight to witness since we all knew it was due to him falling in love with a man. And oh boy did he fall in love. That entire conversation of Jae Yoon saying it's impossible for two men to fall in love, only for Ho Joon to respond that it was impossible for him NOT to fall in love with Jae Yoon is a top tier confession for me.

#9 - Blueming

I have issues with Blueming solely due to its ending because I was just as pissed as Siwon was at Daun. Maybe even more so. All was going well; then, the end of episode nine pulled a Thai episode eleven, and DAUN TOLD HIS MOM TO PICK THE FILM! I understand men in love do dumb shit, but that was a bold choice, and a very, very, VERY wrong one. As the youths say, "that was not the move." However, the cinematography was delicious like their silhouettes with that bewitching blue backdrop and their first kiss was realistic. Pretty kisses are cool and all, but the awkwardness of desperately wanting someone yet not knowing how to physically perform is true to many people's experiences and should be spotlighted more.

#8 - Choco Milk Shake

I only trust two entities with poly: Thai director Jojo, and Korea's Strongberry, so the fact that Strongberry did not give me poly when it was so clearly laid out is the reason this show isn't in the top three. It had a supernatural plot, great characters who were all well cast, and a happy ending, so WHY NOT POLY? I don't care if the rest of the world is ready or not. I'M READY! We are getting a second season, so if I if get a kiss AND a vocal acknowledgement of Milk and Choco's love for each other when their love for Jung Woo was well established in season one, this will cement its place in my heart and on this list forever.

#7 - Light on Me

Sixteen episodes with most running about thirty minutes?! A love triangle where I could root for both love interests?! A straight boy who earned his spot at the queer table?! Light on Me had it all and then some! Looking at my various lists, it's clear I am not fond of high school dramas, yet I was seated twice a week to see how our neurodivergent baby boy, Tae Kyung, fared that week in his adventure through social norms and annoyances, like trying to help a fellow peer by giving him back the dildo he dropped in the hallway, but getting yelled at instead. I was not Team Shin Woo until that cellphone confession, and then all I could see was Shin Woo. I'm telling y'all, Korea understands how to confess its unwavering love. Gets me every time!

#6 - The New Employee

As the BL fandom continues to evolve and expand, we will get more BLs geared toward adults and workplace dramas, but hopefully, they take the approach that The New Employee (and Thailand's Step by Step) did and make the work environment part of the drama. Working adults, sadly, spend a majority of their time at work, so finding love at one's job seems reasonable, but if anyone has experienced coworkers breaking up, that shit can get rough, real quick. So having to navigate a relationship with someone you work with, especially someone of a higher authority position, ON TOP OF being queer can be stressful, and is something I want more BLs to explore. There are levels to being out, and for most queers, being out at the job is not a possibility, but finding love anywhere is always a possibility, particularly for our late 20-something virgins.

#5 - Semantic Error

The fact that this came out in 2022 is beyond my understanding only because it seems like I have appreciated it for at least five years. This has become a comfort watch when it first started as a "nothing else is on" watch. I have never cared so much about honorifics in my life as I did watching the slow transition of Sang Woo’s emotional walls crumbling under Jae Young’s affection through language. As much as I hated the idea of forced collaboration (aka group projects), seeing the way Jae Young squirmed his way into Sang Woo’s every waking thought and had him seeing red to the point that Sang Woo was saving screenshots of Jae Young’s Instagram posts was a delight and one of the major reasons I keep returning to it. But the layered confession about Sang Woo finding Jae Young, a man, attractive which lead to Jae Young's countdown kiss is, once again, the reason Korean BLs win in the confession department.

#4 - The Eighth Sense

I'm still really bothered by some of the discourse that came out of this show about how it was better than everything else ever because the comments were reductive about the BL genre, yet some of the comments resonated with elements I loved about the series, mainly its look at mental health and trauma. It was a beautiful show, but the message it carried throughout about depression being isolating and taking the light out of people's lives hit me in a way that if this was the Thai list, I would have left it off because it felt like a personal attack. Wanting someone to save you from yourself, but terrified to drag them down with you was not the plot I wanted, but was the story a lot of us needed to see. We also needed to witness someone actively going to therapy. Let's continue this trend!

#3 - Our Dating Sim

"Have you been well . . . without me?" - Put this on my tombstone because I died and came back to life from this utterance alone. Episode four was already killing me, but once Eddy snapped and allowed all his emotions to spill out in front of Ian, the show came for all my past lives and future ones too. Deceased. I wrote this about the show while it was airing, but no other show has done the leave-him-because-I-love-him plot as well as Our Dating Sim. This show nailed it then made a billboard to boast about it because it was perfection. Ian's reasons for leaving were valid, but the show really shined by allowing Eddy to voice his anger at being ghosted for seven years by his best friend and someone he loved. It even touched on the trust issues that stem from someone saying he loves you only to abandon you. Just know I have NOT been well since this ended.

#2 - To My Star 1 & 2

The first season was almost perfect. The cat/dog energy, the "If it's hard for you, I'll come to you" confession, and the budding kink of Ji Woo kissing a tiny bloody wound on Seo Joon all served in a quick nine episodes gave me everything I needed, so I thought this would be my #1 the second season two was announced, but understand the sequel hurt me. The foundation was great: everyone came back, it had more episodes, the episodes were longer, and the conflict always existed in the first series, so a last-minute twist wasn’t invented. Yet, every single episode hurt. Much like I Told Sunset About You, it was realistic to the point that I expected it to end with pain. If season two was its own show and not a sequel to one of my favorites, it would have ranked higher because it was beautiful, but knowing the magic the first series possessed, and having to be a bystander to all the angst for EVERY EPISODE WITH NO RELIEF was tough. But, somehow, here I am secretly hoping we get blessed with a third series. That’s the power of the Star.

#1 - Long Time No See

Small flex - I've been involved with an international queer film festival for over a decade. I've seen easily over 1,000 pieces of queer media including feature films, short films, and documentaries through the screening process, which only adds to my always growing personal watched list. Long Time No See was one of those films. It didn't make it into the festival because I think it was already available on a streaming platform (maybe?), but it was a top for me then, and it's still a top for me now. Is it a BL? Not really. Is it a show? No, it's more like a two-part movie. So why am I allowing it to reign at the top of this list? BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING! In 2017, we were still getting the bury your gays trope shoved down our throats, so a film about two assassins getting a happy ending was a miracle. I read comments from some who did not like the portrayal of "toxic love" but were probably fine with Mr. and Mrs. Smith beating each other with cooking utensils for all the world's children to see, so God forbid, the queers do anything like want to kill AND fuck each other. Niña, Pinta, and Santa María, LET THE GAYS DO CRIMES TOO! Oh, and it's Strongberry, so because of this film - In Strongberry I trust.

[mortalityplays]

It's obviously kind of an oversimplification to say Gomorra is 'about' homosexuality. It's about a lot of things. But it's also completely true and I would even possibly argue that it is the load-bearing point of the show.

On a macro level, the whole thing is about the endlessly bloody and destructive struggle of a life in organised crime. But even in that sense it puts a very specific thematic point on the way love, relationships and blood relations are constant casualties of this way of life, and the effect of that relentless human loss on the players who keep choosing war over peace. Ciro blazing his trail by killing women, children and parents specifically is not a 'kick the cat' villain beat, it's the whole point of the material. Genny being perpetually struck down by his own nuclear family because he is competition to them is part of it. Being in the life means eventually sacrificing those you love on its altar. You murder your wife, you send your son to die in the jungle, you send your father-in-law to prison.

As we absorb that, we're presented with this succession of queer characters living in the periphery of the story. One by one they're introduced to us, they explicate themselves as divergent from heteronormative sex and gender roles, and then we watch them die or disappear. It's heavily implied that the 'lesbian' from the tower blocks may be a trans man, but she doesn't exist in a context where articulating that is an option, and she dies in a white wedding dress inherited from her father. Conte's relationship with a trans woman can only exist behind closed doors. He dates her sister in public, he puts off introducing her to his mother, he appeals to his catholicism to distance himself from his own sexuality. Gege panics and folds because he's afraid for his boyfriend and his daughter. What do I care about the guy fucking you in the ass? Genny sneers, before he beats Gege to death with the watch that signifies his connection to a mob family. Much like the harrowing shit the show delves into around race, the message is 'there is no mercy here'. There is no oxygen for the articulation of queerness. It can only survive unspoken, in negative space.

And there's no argument that the show is about the negative space between Genny and Ciro. Neither of them know how to articulate their relationship. They're best friends, they're worst enemies, they grew up together, Ciro raised Genny, they're brothers, they're father and son. They use the word love. They also use the word hate. They come as close as anyone ever gets to putting bullets in each other's brains. They keep taking turns to ask each other can we do this now? and the answer is always not yet. Even when they're on the same side, they can only discuss the nature of their relationship by proxy, through their mutual relationships with others. Pietro is one. And I could write a fucking essay on the Enzo situation.

The negative space is physical, too. They hover around each other. They talk nose to nose. In the first season they can't stay apart, they grab each other, they pepper each other with kisses. After the life erases all of their visible human connections and sets them at odds, they're shot like orbiting planets. Empty space takes up entire frames between them. Ciro is fucking constantly looking at Genny, to the point that shots are composed around his furtive glances. After they finally reveal themselves to Analisa, Ciro catches Genny by the arm to pull him away from the meeting. That's not a gesture we ever see between other characters, especially in a context like that. They are constantly either 1 inch or 12 feet apart.

But most of all, there's negative space in the title. Gomorra. Yeah it's a play on Camorra. Don't worry about it. Don't think too much about it. Just ignore the primary association with that word that floats into your head when you hear it. It's absent from the show, right? It's absent from the life. This is a mafia show about two straight friends.

[crumblingreader]

Taylor Swift and the closet

The closet is one of the most widely known parts of queer culture, and Taylor has been investing it for so long in her art, so I wanted to draw up a list of the way she has been using it, trying to be as exhaustive as possible, so here is everything I noticed:

I Know Places performance

On the 1989 world tour, for the I Know Places performance, which is probably one of the queerest songs by itself on 1989 and one of the first songs in which Taylor talks about a secret relationship, Taylor decides to perform the song surrounded by closet doors behind which she hides, to avoid the media and protect her relationship.

Look What You Made Me Do (part 1: the music video)

In the Look What You Made Me Do music video, Taylor presents herself as locked up, again. She is in a golden cage that reminds us a lot of the visuals from I Know Places on the 1989 world tour (the cages were swinging in the visuals, and she is even on a swing in the music video). She is dressed in a full orange outfit, which is speculated to be the color of Karma, an album that would’ve been released in 2016 had everything with the West/Kardashian family not happened. It is interesting because it will not be the last time this imagery can also be linked to things that happened in her career against her will, but also because we sometime think of Karma as an album where she could have been more free (gay) than in reputation (this should be taken with a whole spoon of salt, the existence of Karma is, to my knowledge, far from proved, and its content is completely unknown, it’s just a theory).

Ready For It music video

Ready For It, as well as its music video, would deserve a dedicated post seeing how interesting it is in terms of closeting and how it lightens reputation as an album and a lot of what comes after. But I'm just going to say that:

Here, on the left, the robot naked locked up Taylor is her true self and on the right is her closeted public persona. 

This is, to my knowledge, the first time Taylor uses the imagery of the glass closet, in the music video of a song about bearding (if you don't know what I mean, go see the difference between the way Taylor describes “he” in the verses and “you” in the chorus). The music video seems to confirm that the song is about the difference between her public persona (and relationship) and her private one, instead of being a love story (no love interest can be seen in the music video), and it ends with the closeted Taylor being free, and the public persona being destroyed...

So It Goes

"Gold cage, hostage to my feelings" She is trapped in a gold cage (like in the LWYMMD music video), because of her feelings that keep her imprisonned... if that doesn't sound like the closet, I don't know what does honestly.

The Lover era

The closet imagery is almost completely absent from the Lover Era, which fits the timeline: it's the era during which she was supposed to come out.

The only appearance I noticed is in the Lover music video, where her closet is full of yellow clothes, which is mainly significant in the fact that yellow seems to be the color Taylor uses to symbolize closeting now.

seven

seven is often interpreted (by gaylors) to be about a young gay love ("your braids like a pattern love you to the Moon and to Saturn"). In that regard, the lyrics "I think you should come live with / Me and we can be pirates / Then you won't have to cry / Or hide in the closet" can be understood as a proposition to run away and go live somewhere they could live their love freely.

willow music video

In the willow music video, this moment is incredibly significant

Child Taylor goes through the door and emerges as an adult in a glass closet. There, she immediately knows that she is supposed to start singing, and then, when she tries to join her lover on the other side of the glass, she can't leave and she is stuck in it… I believe that it speaks for itself. 

cowboy like me

"And the skeletons in both our closets / Plotted hard to mess this up"

In a song about feeling connection to someone because you recognize them as a part of your group that break the rules ("bandit"), the mention of the closet as something that keeps you from being with them is interesting, I would say.

Look What You Made Me Do part 2: the Eras Tour Performance

Since the beginning of the Eras Tour, the closet/glass closet/imprisonnement imagery is more present than ever, both in the concerts and in the music videos she put out since then.

In the Look What You Made Me Do performance, the imprisonment of Taylor's old selves (in glass closets) is understood widely to be a metaphor of her stolen masters, and it probably is in part her intention. There could be more than one meaning to that idea, even in Taylor's mind and one does not contradict the other. But here specifically, it seems to be confirmed that Taylor didn’t (only) think of that while imagining these visuals, since every single one of her album is present including the ones she has owned since they were released (Lover, folklore, evermore, Midnights):

(I don't have enough images left but some of the dancers are in Lover and folklore outfits too)

Lavender Haze visuals

Several times, in the visuals of the tour during the performance of Lavender Haze, Taylor is very clearly in a closet:

Lavender Haze can also be interpreted as being about bearding, that much can be analyzed both from the lyrics and the music video. During the performance (you can check in this video) those visuals appear when she says "no deal the 1950 shit they want from me" and disappear with "i just wanna stay in that lavender haze", I wonder if the closet might be the 1950's shit she doesn't want anymore...

Karma music video

In the Karma music video, there is no reference to a closet per se but Taylor is once again kept locked up, in an hourglass and a light bulb, this time. I don't know if it is significant in a particular way, except that the hourglass appears the first time she says "Karma is my boyfriend" which could mean that it's not going to be her boyfriend for long maybe? I noticed this one without any particular interpretation to be honest, but I didn’t want not to put it here, just in case...

As for the bulbs, they end up exploding...

I Can See You music video

Last but not least since there are two references to the closet in the music video for I Can See You, but first, a few things:

The music video is obviously about her taking back her masters, there is no doubt about that, it is very explicit and it would be stupid of me to try and say that it’s not. But as I said in the part about the Look What You Made Me Do performance, some things can have more than one meaning, and just because there is an obvious way to understand this specific piece of art doesn’t mean that it’s the only one. 

Second, here we’ll need to point out that before and/or during the Speak Now era, she dated very publicly Taylor Lautner, who features in the video. Gaylors also believe that she dated Liz Huett, her backing vocalist on the Speak Now tour.

Now, in the music video, we see three people rescuing Taylor from the vault in which she is kept. A woman (Presley Cash) stays in a van, while Joey King joins Taylor Lautner to save Taylor. What is interesting is that the only character that is not, at any point, linked to the lyrics is the man (potential beard). Presley Cash’s character is, more than once, either saying or illustrating the lyrics: “I've been watching you for ages” (she’s always looking inside Taylor’s vault even though it’s not really relevant to what’s happening), she even says “I can see you” at the end. As for Joey King, she is the one keeping quiet when Lautner is loud, she throws her jacket on the floor, and she is quite literally “up against the wall” when she opens the vault… She is the only character linked to the muse for the whole video, and she is the one opening the vault (closet?) for her.

Adding to that, Taylor’s old selves (in this situation, her outfits of the era) are kept in… glass closets, that explode at the end. The thing is, if we follow the (Lover era) failed coming out theory, the way her masters were stolen may have been the reason she didn't come out at the time, so, could it be that Taylor feels like her stolen masters are what keep her from being fully out?

[aktinopterygia]

So, a well known influencer couple recently announced their breakup on a podcast after dating for a year, one of them is a lesbian and the other had recently come out as queer (this was the latter's first lesbian relationship).

They stated the main reason for their breakup was that the newly out queer woman could not come to terms with the fact that it wouldn't be possible for them to have biological children that would be "50% her and 50% the person she loves". This has of course raised a few obvious questions, like "hadn't you thought of that before entering a relationship with a woman"? Well, usually when you're falling in love you're not at your most rational. Stupid but true. But anyway, more interestingly, this reasoning also excludes trans men and infertile cis men as possible partners for this woman --- who is likely unaware of her own fertility status too. Would she also leave an infertile cis boyfriend over that? For what reasons does one want to be a mother at the end of the day?

The truth is that many queer women, including lesbians, have to deal with and come to terms with this circumstance. And it is actually quite sad because this girl is in love with her lesbian partner but she is too attached to this heteronormative idea of what having children should look like and feels compelled to end the relationship and go back to men.

The lack of representation for queer families is so harmful and this is a perfect example of that. Most of us are raised being shown this one way of creating a family, mixing your genes, carrying and birthing a baby, presented as the elevated one true way of becoming a parent. And so if you grow up having this dream for years and years of what you future family will be like, dreaming of your 50-50 kids with your one true love, it is not easy to let go of that fantasy. And I say this as someone who can't relate. I have never desired motherhood and I never will.

Many lesbians, lesbian moms, people with lesbian parents, and adopted people have expressed feeling hurt and invalidated by this conversation. It was also triggered a number of lesbians to make misguided biphobic comments, using this situation as an example to say "see? This is why bi women can't be trusted, this is why I will only date other lesbians". The age old fear of your bi girlfriend leaving you for a man, this time breaking up because you physically can't get each other pregnant.

The issue is not with bisexuality though, but with women who cannot deconstruct or have not yet deconstructed their fierce attachment to heteronormativity, homophobia, and ultimately heterosexual social privilege. There are definitely bi women who have done that work and have processed these things, there are bi women happily married to other bi women or lesbians and are raising/have raised kids. However, not everyone is able or willing to do that work, especially when they have the option to lead a more privileged life. It is only human.

Biphobia is not a valid reason for a lesbian to refuse to date bi girls (especially bi girls who have just come out of the closet), but there are definitely valid reasons. Non-lesbians are less likely and less motivated to deconstruct their own heteronormativity and not everyone has the patience for that sometimes.

I don't personally feel that way, I have dated bi women and I would again. However, my current partner is a lesbian too and honestly there are some conversations that I simply do not need to have and some hang-ups I do not have to deal with because she gets it in a way that only lesbians do. It's a different dynamic.

One last thing, this couple are real people dealing with life in this homophobic society and they should not be treated as characters who are "bad representation", for the love of God. Nobody here is to "blame". This is mostly a tragic consequence of heteronormativity and how it affects women.

[rainbowdaisy13]

I love your latest podcast episode Rainbow 💕

A part of me still thinks she might come out at the end of this stunt but the other part thinks so what? So what if she's gay? Why should I support a gay person who invites men like Dave into VIP, who thanks them for having her back, after they used their platofrm to harass the queer fans and her possible partner? I can't even get into all all the abusers and creeps she promoted through this NFL — All of this terrible behavior renders her being gay so inconsequential to me. I used to listen to a true crime podcast where I loved the gay host. After I found out he's awful, I stopped supporting it. That's where I'm at with Taylor.

When it comes to Kaylor — if they are together — then Karlie comes last for Taylor in every way. Karlie liked Taylor's post on Kamala but Taylor couldn't return the favor to like the post about Karlie's documentary on abortion. It'd be hypocritical since she makes money for the men fighting against this cause, but it'd help with the hate against Karlie. Same with 8/9. Karlie made an effort to be present there very soon after giving birth (in an interview she said she couldn't go to concerts that year because she was post partum, but she did it for Taylor, Taylor who was out partying a day after she gave birth). Taylor didn't return the favor in any way. On the contrary, she allowed the angry mob she runs harass Karlie and the kids into deleting her birthday post. And it goes way back — Taylor not caring about a pregnant or a post partum Karlie with releasing those stupid songs. I don't care if they're not about Karlie, Taylor knew they could be taken that way and she didn't care about causing turmoil for her. Also, like others said, I can't unsee the toxic patterns she describes in her songs, the gaslighting and the emotional abuse — It looks like a partner is making all the sacrfiices, while the other weaponized her helplessness so Karlie wouldn't expect more from her. I do not see a relationship with mutual support or respect here.

🥴🥴🥴

Thanks for listening 🩶

it is just so many layers of behavior that I myself overlooked for a really long time

[just-sg]

If the community doesn't welcome "cis men", then it excludes transmascs who pass or at bare minimum sends a message that the goal they worked so hard to achieve has made them less welcome in spaces that once supported them, actively punishing them for transitioning. It forces transfems to out themselves, which can be especially dangerous. It forces nonbinary amabs who can't or don't want to change their presentation to out themselves and sends a message that nonbinary people owe you androgyny or visual non-conformity. And if you think you can gauge any of these things by looking at someone, you're not doing the community any favors.

If the community doesn't welcome cis men, it excludes gay men. If men are welcome only when in a relationship with another man/person who reads enough like "a man", it excludes bi/pan/etc men and sends a message that what relationship they're in Right Now determines whether or not they're Queer Enough, you know, one of the core tenets of biphobia and erasure.

If the community doesn't welcome cis men, it excludes men all over the ace and aro spectrums. :) And yes actually, the heterosexual aromantic straw-man does deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. IF he's treating his partners like shit, then we judge him for that behavior, but queer people can be douchebags with shit views and we don't get to say they're not still queer. And if the het-aro dude is instead communicating honestly and being respectful-- a thing I promise is fully possible for humans to do-- then guess what, assuming he couldn't possibly be a decent person is just arophobia and maybe a side of puratinism.

Anyone questioning their identity, anyone who isn't actively questioning yet but later will, guys about to experience bi panic, transfem eggs who haven't clocked anything about themselves yet. Their early exposure to queer spaces being a hostile one is not going to help anyone, and can easily actively discourage people. We also need to be welcoming of supportive partners, siblings, parents, friends, etc, especially in cases where a queer person is disabled or otherwise has trouble going places on their own, or for helping ease anxiety in virtual spaces, etc.

Listen.

The nature of Being A Man is not and has never been the problem. And as much as some of you don't want to hear it, and as much as it fucking sucks and is objectively unfair when it does involve men who are participating in and benefiting from oppression, trying to turn the tables is never going to be an effective strategy. It's "not fair" that it's more dangerous for women to walk alone at night either but you hopefully wouldn't advocate against carrying mace on the basis no one "should" need it. Whether something is fair and whether it's true are not the same thing.

You cannot Get Revenge against a whole huge portion of the human population, and when you actively threaten or ostracize people, (a) you're mirroring the very thing you fight against, but (b) it makes people defensive!!! Some allocishet dudes would get defensive anyway at the idea of not being on top of the ladder anymore, but giving them more fuel won't change that. Dudes who'd have that kneejerk reaction but could be reasoned with won't be if no one bothers to try, or oftentimes even if someone bothers but it's immensely overshadowed with hostility. And people who were already allies can actively be pushed out and turned against the cause. (Not to mention perpetuating in-fighting.)

You catch more flies with honey, I'm sorry. And yes, we do need allies. Perpetuating the "us vs them" mentality helps no one, patriarchy does not target men in the same or as many ways as women but it is also harmful to many, and we will always have a better chance of fixing any system when we have people working for the cause inside and out. People using their positions of privilege to help provide extra leverage and voice to those with less privilege is always going to be desirable overall.

Even mainstream media writers throwing in crumbs of badly handled representation isn't without some merit, if only for proving it's not illegal and won't destroy sales to have Anything At All, which couldn't be said mere decades ago; if only for normalizing that queer people exist even the tiniest bit more. But just, normal people going about their normal lives. Just every random man who will frown at their coworker's homophobic joke and give a simple "not cool dude". Those little things adding up are important. When people hate you, it's easy to ignore you standing up for yourself, and harder to ignore people they like also standing up for you.

Cis queer men are not your enemy. Amabs who "read" cis to you and don't want to out themselves are not your enemy. Bi men who happen to be in relationships with women are not your enemy. Straight male partners of queer women are not your enemy! Allo cishet dudes married to allo cishet women with no queer kids or siblings or anything are not your enemy, not if they're behaving like friends.

People operating on ignorance, especially to a point of willful ignorance because they don't 'have' to deal with it, can be enemies-- inaction in the face of oppression is taking the side of oppressors, and all-- but even they're like... minion enemies if that makes sense. (That goes for men, women, questioning folks or folks who are definitively queer but don't feel like Part Of The Community, etc, to be clear.) It's not your personal job to educate every person, but when you can afford to, taking no shit but remaining civil will leave someone else a better chance of getting through to them. Picking a nasty drawn-out fight with that jackass on Twitter won't fix homophobia but may well increase his devotion to the enemy cause.

Prioritizing defense isn't always an option and I'm not saying it is. Sometimes you need whole riots to make a point, but even that involves group effort, and often times lashing out in your personal daily life can do more harm than good. THIS SUCKS. OF COURSE IT SUCKS. But it's a matter of the big picture. It's not about letting people "get away with" anything, it's about expressing disapproval in a calmer and more casual manner while trying to minimize anything they could twist into an excuse to be worse.

And that's with people who ARE actively shitty, the ones more casual and micro-aggressive about it but still ultimately against us. Lashing out pre-emptively on the assumption that people would be shitty does a lot more harm and no longterm good.

People joke about The Gay Agenda but honestly, yeah. The Agenda is ultimately for the queer community as a whole to be accepted, have the same rights and protections as anyone else, to end oppression, etc, right? Sometimes that's gonna mean dealing with being uncomfortable or uncertain or even biting your tongue in the name of forwarding the Agenda. Especially when it's literally about acceptance within our own communities. How can we reasonably expect everyone else to accept us if we're struggling to accept each other?

i don't care how uncomfortable you are around cis men, queer cis men still need places to go, and sometimes, those spaces will be shared with yours. disabled and neurodivergent queer men and queer men of color especially need a place to go. the queer community isn't the "fuck cis men" community. that is the rad fem community. if you think cis men and people who read as cis men are inherently "too scary" or shouldn't be allowed in queer spaces, you joined the wrong community.

[rainbowsky]

I was just aimlessly scrolling through tumblr and came across a post saying " XZ is straight but WY is not* . This assumption was made because apparently: gay ppl know these things. So does that mean I'm now straight because I believe they're both part of the community in some way? 😃. Also if you're assuming WY is gay based on his words, then by that logic Xz past actions put him in close proximity to that.

We all assume based on perception, however to outright dismiss the possibilities on either side just seems absurd to me.

Hi Anon,

I apologize in advance for what's going to be a bit of an annoyed rant about 'gaydar'.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Both of them are obviously 'not straight', because they're in a relationship. Beyond that it's anyone's guess. I personally don't see any evidence of DD being into women. I talked about that in various previous posts, starting here. I think GG is likely bi, given their banter in the BTS.

The Tumblr post might have been referring to an exchange GG had with a gay acquaintance on Weibo where the guy said he thought GG was straight. Just so everyone knows: Gay people do not have 'special magic powers' to read each other's minds, which is what a lot of straight people seem to think (and even some gays).

This is especially true when someone is in the closet and actively trying to hide their sexuality. Men who attract hordes of women like GG does are doubly able to fly under the radar. There is a reason why gay people often do a lot of hand-wringing over whether the person they're attracted to 'plays for their team'.

And let's not forget the whole aspect of bi erasure that GG's friend might have been engaging in, whether or not he intended to.

I want everyone to please understand, because I get a lot of asks about gaydar:

GAYDAR IS A MYTH

And before anyone sends me a bunch of dubious studies claiming it's 60% accurate, those numbers actually prove that gaydar isn't real.

I actually get pissed off when people talk about gaydar and try to make it out to be some sort of real thing. It's not. All gaydar is for the most part, is garden variety gender role stereotyping being cast into some sort of 'folksy queer intuition' branding to make it seem less offensive. Gender presentation, mannerisms and vocal intonations can't tell us about someone's gender or sexuality.

It might sometimes be fun to joke around about certain stereotypical things as being 'very gay', and for the most part I find that harmless and sometimes make those jokes myself, but 'gaydar' can actually be harmful and misleading.

While most of us joking around about stereotypes understand that a flowy blouse or a tight mesh shirt aren't actually gay, a lot of people treat gaydar as science and genuinely believe it's real. I think we need to be cautious about what we claim, and circumspect about how we use 'gaydar'. It is one of those 'for entertainment purposes only' concepts, and should never be treated as hard evidence of anything.

So a gay person who happens to know GG in college will only know about GG, what GG wants him to know.

GG is even more expressive of queer Pride than DD, so I always find it funny when someone refers to him as straight. Whether gay or bi, he's clearly not straight.

And contrary to what a shocking number of BXG believe, straight guys don't fall in love with men and date/marry them.

(BTW, I'm not saying we should never use the term 'gaydar'. It can be fun, and an easy shorthand in certain contexts. I'm just saying we should always be cautious about how we use the term so that A] we're not hurting others and B] we're not misleading others. It's one of those fun but potentially harmful toys that should be taken away from us when we are irresponsible about how how we play with it.)

[cheesydelphox]

I feel like so many of mashima's characters are filled with problems that stem from him as a person

As a few examples:

- Natsu and Lucy (as was mentioned in someone's previous ask)

- Adding to this, Cana's constant groping of Lucy (and other women) which someone mentioned comes from Mashima's fetish for lesbians (I can't remember who said it though, it might have been you?)

- another point about "queer" characters is how not only Freed's sexuality obviously being portrayed as a joke to how weird it is to be gay, but also Master Bob of blue Pegasus

- Nearly every romance plot

- this one is less about Mashima's personality and more about his writing but how nearly every character that's introduced gets powered down to a laughable level, or has stagnant progression despite the fact we've been told they're getting more powerful (with a few main-character exceptions of mainly Natsu and Lucy)

Don't get me wrong I love Fairy Tail and the characters but the way it's written just tired me sometimes tbh

Sorry for the long ask btw!

I do appreciate the ask, no worries! Yes, I agree with a lot of the problems you just presented. The biggest writing flaw (imo) is the romance thing. (also i wasn't the one who said mashima has a lesbian fetish... if that's true, ew.)

Mashima just isn't good at writing romantic relationships (in the context of fairy tail! this could be totally different in edens zero, i haven't read it) and I will stand by that opinion. The only good (CANON) one is elfman and evergreen in my opinion. They're unobtrusive, didn't take a painfully long time to get together, and their relationship doesn't negatively impact their characterization. (Yes, This includes gajevy. i love them but I have problems that you might be able to extrapolate from my comments on gruvia)

Liking fairy tail for me doesn't mean "shipping characters" or "being completely okay with 100% of the canon content." Far from it. some of my FAVORITE characters got destroyed by not the narrative, but a running joke. (*COUGH* MEST *COUGH*)

But I watched this REALLY good video today that has a really good argument in it about how society has forced people's enjoyment of works of fiction to only ever line up with their moral values. I don't agree with a lot of the morality of the "queer" representation. I don't like Natsu and Juvia being a bit creepy towards the people they like. And I really don't like the dishragification of characters like Mira or the thunder legion. But saying that I don't like fairy tail because of all that shit would be wrong of me, because that would be lying!

my opinion is this: if these "problematic" aspects bother you (not you specifically, anon. i am addressing the variety of people that might possibly read this post) enough that you don't want to watch/read fairy tail, that's fine! i understand and respect that. but it's also fine to enjoy it even if you acknowledge those things exist.

this is not opening up discussion about "pro" and "anti" by the way. i think those terms are stupid as hell and don't define how i interact with fandom spaces, especially when talking about shounen anime.

[hollow-dweller]

on the AO3 elections, misinformation, and fandom racism

i hate the way misinformation and disinterpretation function online, and especially in fandom spaces, because if something gets large and abstract enough, there's no way to functionally dispute it.

the Tiffany G situation is a perfect example. they never said they wanted to ban works from AO3, in fact when asked directly they said they did not want to do that. they did not say that AO3 hosted illegal materials or CSAM, only that people think AO3 does, which is true (hence why we can't ever get away from this stupid fucking anti vs proship war). they did not say anything about wanting to make AO3 monetizable or "presentable"--only to clarify what is and is not hosted on AO3, and highlight the work done by other organizations under the OTW.

the full transcript is available here, and i encourage reading through this thread to see further analysis of their comments with a more generous interpretive lens. i also HIGHLY reccomend looking through the comments on their bio post for a great discussion from user Bread about how fandom norms in China versus USA/english-speaking fandom may be contributing to the lack of clarity around their points, and how YES, cultural context and language barriers actually matter a great deal when discussing these matters!!

but now that the reaction has outgrown the initial incident, TG's comments have been extrapolated and warped and used as fuel for a greater cultural war. the criticism has gone from "i see some red flags in their ideas" (a fair reaction, and at least deserving of greater investigation) to "they are a pro-censorship chinese sleeper agent who wants to literally endanger chinese fans' lives and scrub all queer content from AO3".

and what a lot of people gloss over is that racism and sinophobia are now a fundamental part of the narrative. even if you do not literally believe they are a government spy, if you take it at face value that their comments were "pro-censorship", you are buying into a racist mischaracterization of their words. you have already lost the plot, because the fundamental reading of their comments and position has been taken in the worst faith possible, and that lack of grace is something that fans of colour experience disproportionately in fandom compared to white fans, as has been pointed out many, many times by fans of colour here on Tumblr. Writer and media analyst Stitch has also thoroughly discussed this on their website, as a starting point if you are unfamiliar.

so now every post that even vaguely touches on this controversy has this wealth of history behind it, and the vaguer and more abstract they get, the more they obfuscate the very real influence racism and sinophobia have had on this entire incident. posts get spread by people who know nothing about the initial incident, and if they ask, you see people providing them not with a summary of TG's actual comments, but the bad faith mischaracterizations of their comments that have spread so rapidly. and trying to clarify TG's comments and the racialized nature of the backlash means that you get assigned a position in a broader fandom war that is a) functionally meaningless and b) largely irrelevant to the problem at hand (watch this excellent video from Princess Weekes for a thorough analysis of the pro-ship vs anti discourse and its relationship to racism).

if fandom is a community, that means we have obligations to one another, and that means extending grace and compassion to all fans. it means taking a moment to actually examine what ideas are being spread in our spaces, and examining whether they are rooted in harmful rhetoric. it means being willing to bridge cultural and racial gaps in fandom, and it is on white fandom to do that work.

white supremacy is a real and immediate threat to our fandom spaces. if you believe in the power of fandom to foster community, artistic freedom, and collective joy, then there is no fandom without fans of colour.

[wordrage]

Great meta. Only part I would challenge is how wizards view sexuality. I'm probably going against JKR's intent here, and, for transparency, my agenda is to justify wizards not being homophobic lol, but I have some arguments here.

The first is education. The wizarding population is a bit unique that for the past 1000 years almost everyone within has received what seems to be high quality education via Hogwarts. Not that educated people can't be bigots, but they've at least been taught some higher level critical thinking, history, etc. that gets people exposed to new or different ideas and thoughts.

I'm thinking they probably cut most formal ties to the Church post-witch hunts/statute passing. A large part of Western European's intolerance of homosexual relationships or different gender expressions are justified or rooted in Christianity.

Wizards might be religious? Personally, my interpretation is that they are pretty secular. Witchcraft is still a sin or evil to Muggles at the time the books take place. Why would wizards post statute of secrecy continue with adhering to the anti-buggery laws and values of the Muggles they so desperately claim to be above?

I'm not saying they changed attitudes overnight, but I would question why this particular prejudice would have sustained over the centuries.

Witches have what appears to be equal rights when compared to wizards. They hold office, work, and there's no example I can remember where witches are barred from any space in wizarding society. There's examples of witches being treated as equals that predate the statute. I bring this up because sex and gender discrimination is present and generally enforced more consistently than homosexuality in Western Europe. Wizards and witches are unconventionally feminist, compared to their Muggle peers.

We didn't get any examples either way in the text that explicitly state homosexual relationships aren't tolerated. True, we don't see onscreen queer people or relationships, but Harry didn't meet every couple in the wizarding population. I think the few characters allegedly queer-coded can go either way. Alphard, for example, maybe just never met someone they wanted to marry. Or lost a loved one. Or was never interested in marriage. Is Dumbledore's alleged relationship with Grindelwald scandalous because it's homosexual, or is it because of who Grindelwald became? I think Rita calls into question Dumbledore's interest in Harry as well, which yes can be taken as an implication gay men are viewed as sexually deviant and/or predators to wizards, but it's also Rita. She doesn't like Dumbledore or Harry, and she wants clicks people to buy her book.

Finally, there's magic. Why, in a world of magic where people can change their appearance and even into animals, be completely intolerant of people changing their sex or sexuality? Why would they be intolerant of the queer and different when they themselves are queer and different? This consensus among the fandom, that being gay is not acceptable, I've never understood.

Considering the main argument I see against homosexuality being accepted in the wizarding UK is children. For example, what would the Malfoys do if Draco married someone who can't have an heir? (I guess we're ignoring the fact that the canon, married to a witch, version was fine with not having children due to the risk to his wife's health.) I mean... This is a world with magic.

Look, I'm not someone who usually fucks with mpreg, but for HP, I am struggling to find a reason it wouldn't be possible. Mpreg isn't even the most fantastical thing we've seen in the books. Voldemort is a lich lord. Time-travel is possible. A giant squid lives in a freshwater lake. 😐

Even if we didn't want to canonize mpreg, there's plenty of stories in folklore, the same folklore JKR picked and chooses other inspiration for the HP setting, where a witch gives a childless couple children. Via some magical conception method. If the main argument wizards have against queer relationships is "but what about the children??" are we really going to die on the hill that wizards can split their souls up but conceiving a potentially outside a woman's womb is impossible??

Non-humans like goblins, vampires, giants, hags, etc exist in this world and can have children with wizards/witches. But queer people? That's impossible?

Respectfully, people can fanon what they want. However, if the reason Harry would face discrimination within the wizarding world is due to him pursuing relationships with men, idk it just feels unfounded to me. It feels like we're transposing a social issue from our modern society onto a fictional society that cut contact with us 330 years ago.

Hi! Curious as to your headcanons on how Harry would realize he’s gay/come out? I like to imagine him not realizing it until he’s blundered his way into a relationship with a man, but surely he would be to clever for that 😆

Lol, I mean, yeah, Harry is clever, but not when it comes to relationships as he so adequately demonstrates throughout the books. That being said, I think it has more to do with his hectic situation rather than his intelligence. He just has other priorities — like, not dying. I saw someone suggest that by book 7, Harry is somewhat aware of his orientation with his: "not my type, but he'll do" comment to a polyjuiced Ron asking how he looks.

Like, I think Harry was aware he finds men attractive since 4th year, but he didn't really know what it means because he had other priorities. Like, he'd think he just finds guys attractive but it's normal, he has eyes, after all. But in general, I think the moment Harry is not in immediate life-threatening danger, he would figure it out. Just give him a moment to relax. It might take another failed relationship like Cho, but I really believe that he would get there on his own.

It probably wasn't anything big or grand either, just, kinda like a gradual understanding of: "huh, I guess I don't like girls" that eventually leads to "huh, I always thought guys are hot". (If we ignore the epilogue we can say he had this moment of epiphany while camping in the woods, I mean, there was a lot of silent time for introspection there, or maybe through a talk with Hermione/Ron)

If we go with canon-divergence for fic purposes when he's younger and is still wrapped up in, like, 3 plots to kill him a year, he might just blunder into a relationship with a guy and only realize it's a relationship later. But, Harry is smart enough to know that if he's holding hands and cuddling with someone that isn't a usual friendship for him. Especially if this is after his disaster date with Cho where he dreaded her wanting to hold his hand or kiss him again. Harry would notice if he was interested in that compared to with Cho, that he actually wants to spend time with this guy and likes looking at him and being close to him, but it might take him a while still. It's also very possible [male Harry ship of your choice] would be the one to basically tell Harry what they have is a relationship, but it really depends on the specific canon divergence. In general, it's less likely Harry would start this relationship as he is in a quest to be normal (which is part of why he decided he has a crush on Cho), she's a safe option — pretty, good at Quidditch, and appearing unattainable when he chose her. Point is, I don't see the Hogwarts-aged Harry pursuing a relationship with a guy without certain changes to get him there (the guy of your choice might though).

Alternative to this situation, it could be Ron or Hermione who bring it up to Harry, with Ron being the more likely of the two to bring it up. I think Ron has known since 5th year that Harry is gay, Hermione doesn't seem to really know, but by 7th year she probably figured it out (I mean, even in the muggle world this is the UK in 90s, it's not like being gay was overly accepted). So, they could also bring it up to him.

As for coming out, I feel like he would accidentally joke about it a bunch, like in that book 7 comment and most people would think it's just a joke, but I think Ron and Hermione would clue in early he actually means it. Ron at least would have already known and both I believe would be supportive of Harry. I think a bunch of others would be told as well, I think most Weasley kids won't have a problem with it at all (Ginny is likely to be disappointed, but I don't think she'd be mean about it to Harry). I think Molly and Arthur might struggle a little, due to ignorance rather than malice, but they would definitely be kind and try to be supportive. Arthur would probably mention some Weasley cousin who's gay as a way to connect to Harry because I'm sure there is one. Sirius would support everything Harry does and chooses (and he himself is likely, not straight) so, yeah.

Beyond that, coming out more publicly would heavily depend on the Wizarding World's approach to homosexuality. I personally believe they don't treat it great and it's kind of an unspoken thing — considering we don't see any gay relationships in the books, their focus on legacy and producing children, and the characters that are mentioned to be unmarried seem to live like confirmed bachelors (Dumbledore, Aunt Muriel, Alphard and Cassiopeia Black, etc.). Also, considering Harry's dislike of the Prophet and the attention he receives, I don't see him choosing to ever make it public knowledge since it's none of their business.

I imagine Witch Weekly keeps placing Harry in number 1 their Most Eligible Bachelors list years after he has already moved to live with a "close male friend" of his (choose who to your preference). And like, everyone knows, but no one would really acknowledge it. Whenever Harry is asked about "when he's gonna settle down" by some interviewer or random ministry personnel or some foreign ambassador he needs to be held back from throwing hands when younger. Later in life he probably gets used to it, besides, the older he gets, eventually the questions would stop, I imagine. It's also possible eventually attitudes in the Wizarding World would change, but that's something that takes time and depends on a lot of other factors.

[ironwoodatl01]

How does it feel knowing one day; you're going to be responsible for all the people considered "Undesirable degenerates." to get marched off to a camp? You would throw a party for yourself and flip through your book most likely. Only stirred when the sound of boots are at your doorstep. Rwde does not fucking like you man. That's where all the toxic sjw go, and they don't even enjoy your presence no matter how hard you try. You don't like gays, lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals and queers in general. You prolly think your some holy saviour or a person whos gonna show the light of jesus to others; when you just give motive to disembowel a bible and burn it... ( No respect for religious trauma in a world where religion places someone in permanent service based on sex) Do you actually think, the trans people you reblog character posts from genuinely wish to interact with you? How about you actually live as Jesus did so that you may find humility and true understanding on the world we are currently walking on now. You waste your life on hatred and the fact that you use the bible as an excuse is demonic on your own part. Honestly what a waste. Idk who beat you as child or deprived you of love to the point that you can only find it in an ancient book; but someone dropped the ball massively and that ball was you man. I Hope you can genuinely find peace in yourself. In hindsight; you will probably ignore/delete this post for your own relief, maybe reply to it and use bible verses to counter it without actually addressing the core criticism. Brushing it off as hysteria from a mentally ill person; which is ableist but I wouldn't be surprised if part of you hated yourself for being different growing up. Hence why wearing cartoons on your sleeves just like the queers you hate and want to see gunned downed or cured. Clarification: Clearly you hate yourself and view this as a peacetime where you can feel heard and help people. Analysis: Perhaps an early divorce occurred in your childhood or marterial problems while your feelings had no place; hardening and being leaned on was not a choice. Conclusion: You genuinely think your hardness and zero sense of acceptance will help save Queer people while head-butting your way into those same spaces seeking comradery. I feel pity for you. I feel as if you see a father in James that you never actually had growing up; or that he reminds you of him despite a possible strained relationship.

Your pity is not necessary, but appreciated. You put in the effort, and that is to be recognized.

I never knew you had mental issues, nor have I ever cared. The fact that you think it mattered speaks more about you than it does me.

As for the trans people and rwde? It also doesn't really matter to me whether they like me, and if it did matter to them they can block me anytime. I like the posts, so I repost. I have a point to make, so I make it. I post for the post's sake. Although I do have to break up my blogs a little to declutter, so thanks for reminding me indirectly.

The salvation of the LGBTQ people is not something I can do anything about, nor is it something I really want to do anything about. God gave his Son to die on the cross and its up to them to accept that gift. All I'm doing is correcting their's and other people's assertions of biblical truth by presenting the bible verses in context. The truth, the correct answer, will always piss people off, but that is the nature of Facts.

There is always black and white because the darkness seeks to destroy the light on its on accord. There will always be enmity not because of my aggression, but because of the other side's hardheadedness.

Harry Potter and Voldemort must kill each other not because Harry seeks the fight, but Voldemort won't quit until Harry is dead by his hand.

Ultimately, you seek common ground on terms I cannot, in good conscience, accept. We are opponents because the lie can't accommodate the truth.

In any case, I'm sure there will be a confrontation between me and the LGBTQs sooner or later. So be it. But I respect them enough to attribute them the maturity to decide when the confrontation occurs. They are old enough they/thems to block me and I don't think they need you to speak for them.

Don't be ableist

[abigailnussbaum]

Cowboy Bebop, 2021 vs. 1998

I watched Netflix's Cowboy Bebop remake last week, and my reaction overall was that it was nice enough with a few strong elements; that it was obvious, even through the filter of a decades-later remake, how much the original had influenced pop culture during those decades; and that the whole thing felt curiously low-energy, lacking some indefinable "oomph" that would take it from interesting diversion to a world and a story that you could want to lose yourself in.

So I decided to watch the original anime (which was possibly Netflix's business plan from the start). Having done that, I have to amend my judgment of the remake a little. The new Cowboy Bebop isn't bad, and in a few crucial ways it vastly improves on the original. But it is wholly inessential, imitating where the original show innovated, and failing to make an argument for itself as its own entity. And to a certain extent, I think this comes down to a fear of what fans would do if the remake wasn't sufficiently reverent to the original.

The thing that makes the original Cowboy Bebop remarkable is first and foremost its style and worldbuilding. Which is where it has been most influential, with probably dozens of works drawing inspiration from it and carrying its influence in their DNA. So when the remake recreates the original's visuals and style almost exactly, it not only feels derivative of those later (but, to a Western audience, better-known) works, it also ends up feeling a bit camp. This is why, I think, there's been a lot of criticism of the remake as embarrassed by its source material, and trying to distance itself from it with a jokey tone. I don't think that's actually true (to put it another way, the original Bebop is frequently unserious about its setting and characters, and the remake tends to mimic that tone as it does so many other things). But the act of imitation in itself creates a distance, so that what was presented matter-of-factly in the original now feels like an effort, the show constantly calling attention to having "gotten it right".

On the other hand, the original Bebop's characters are probably where it's weakest. I don't just mean that the characters are thinly written, but that they're often unpleasant. Spike and Jet are casually misogynistic, nudity and sexual assault are treated with indifference, queer characters are used as the butts of jokes, and everything having to do with Faye is a toxic waste dump. The remake is better on almost every front. John Cho is simply inspired casting as Spike. He captures the original's vibe and deepens it, making it clear that Spike's detached coolness is masking great pain. The episode that flashes back to his old life perfectly conveys, with just a few subtle acting choices, how much the Spike that we've come to know is a wreckage of a person. Mustafa Shakir gets a pretty hackneyed backstory as Jet, but it still ends up creating a person where the original character often felt like a placeholder. And as for Faye, words can't even describe how much better Daniella Pineda's take on the character is, and how much more humanity this version of the show gives her. She not only gets to explore Faye's pain at having lost her past, but gets multiple showcases over the course of the season, including a queer romance and a great love-hate relationship with her fake mother. If you hate the new Bebop but haven't included an asterisk excluding the handling of Faye, I'm giving you the side-eye.

In themselves, however, these characters aren't original enough to make the new Bebop worthwhile in its own right. Which brings me to what I think was the biggest stumbling block when trying to remake this show, the storytelling. The original show was almost entirely episodic, with each episode having a different setting and tone and even switching between genres. There was barely any overarching story. And unfortunately, no one makes series like this anymore (unless you're a pure anthology series). You've got to have an overarching story, and no one seems to know how to write individual episodes as self-contained units that are compelling in their own right.

So when the time came to remake Cowboy Bebop, the production crew had to reinvent the show's storytelling from the ground up to suit modern trends, and the result is unsurprisingly a disaster. Individual episodes are slack and pointless, because you can tell nobody's heart was in it. Characters like Vicious and Julia are made into major planks of the season-long arc, even though they clearly can't support that weight. Worst of all, the entire season is shaped around their conflict with Spike, even though that's an incredibly hackneyed story that clearly can't support a whole show. And that's probably because the world of Cowboy Bebop doesn't lend itself to dramatic season-long arcs. There are a few things you could work with - the destruction of the Earth gate, the plot of the movie - but you'd have to massage them quite a bit to get a traditional science fiction adventure out of them, and the remake seems genuinely hesitant to go that far.

Which brings me to the real problem with the new Cowboy Bebop, which is that Firefly did it better eighteen years ago. And look, I know we're all over Joss Whedon, and I know that there's a lot of valid criticism of Firefly (in particular, its borrowing of Bebop's worldbuilding is pretty shallow and, in many places, clearly racist). But it grasped both the strengths and the limitations of the original show's storytelling perfectly, and made them its own in a way that I don't think television in 2021 is capable of anymore. It's not just that TV in 2003 was better at telling episodic stories. It's that Firefly was incandescently good at it, tossing out god-tier episodes of the type that most shows don't achieve until two or three seasons into their run within a few weeks of premiering. And at the same time it was able to find an overarching story within its world that was suitably exciting and high-stakes without feeling parachuted in. That's the level the new Cowboy Bebop needed to aim for, but even if it had reached it, Firefly would still have gotten there first.

So really, the problem with Cowboy Bebop is that it has no reason to exist. With the exception of the casting, it brings nothing new to the table what wasn't done better by either the original or the works it inspired. What needed to happen was for someone to sit down and cannibalize the original show, take the things that were bright and original about it and make something new from them. And that's the one thing the fandom would never have stood for.

[bisluthq]

Hey! I'm fairly new here and I have a pretty uncommon take on Kaylor. But I just wanna start off by saying I try my best to be as supportive of LGBT people as possible and if they're both bisexual, then I would be 100% okay with that! I'm not trying to "defend their heterosexuality" or anything, I think that's really weird

Okay, so my personal theory is that Kaylor did happen, but that Taylor and Karlie are both straight. I know that might sound contradictory, but I say this based on my own personal experiences based on how I am with my best friend. I think Karlie and Taylor's relationship might have been similar in some ways to ours

Right, so I'm straight and I'm not into women in the gay kind of way (but it's completely cool that some girls are), and I have this roommate who's gorgeous. Really gorgeous, she's like a 10/10 "I would sell my kidney to look like you" kind of girl. She's very attractive, she has like tan skin and long legs and gorgeous brown hair and pretty eyes and nice lips and just like… she's just very good looking. I'm definitely jealous of her body, I won't even pretend I'm not 😪 I lowkey hate her because of it (jk)

We've been living together since not long before COVID started, and we're very good friends. There were three of us before, but our other roommate went back home to stay with her parents until in person classes are back on and we agreed to it and worked something out because she has really bad anxiety so we understood her reasoning for it

Anyway so it's just been us two and because we've been at home a lot during this time instead of out for most of the day like before, we've gotten to know each other a lot better and have become a lot closer. We were already friends from before, but now we're like super close besties, we've been hanging out a lot together and playing board games, watching movies, helping each other with essays, just having long conversations about anything and everything, etc

Like it's been so nice having a best friend that I can be this close to now because I haven't had a best friend since I was a kid

So my friend and I were having like a conversation last year about how hard it's been in quarantine not being able to go on dates and how we miss kissing people, and so we decided to just like, make out for fun you know. I mean, there's not really anything that's inherently romantic or sexual about making out, that's just society that says that. But tbh I think making out with your friends if you want to should be normalized, it's fun and it can even be emotional sometimes. It's not that different from hugging people

After a couple of weeks or so, I think we got bored of just making out with each other and decided to like, fully hook up. It started off because we were modelling lingerie for each other for banter and were pretending we were each other's runway judges and then I think we just decided to hook up with each other as like part of the whole "game". I can't remember who initiated it now, I think it might have been me as a joke lol

Like just in a platonic way for fun, as a kind of substitute until we can go back into society

And tbh I always expected hooking up with a woman to be like mediocre and boring and awkward, but although it was a bit hard to get the hang of at first and there was a learning curve, it's actually very enjoyable. Like I was very surprised actually at how hot it can be, I think I can maybe see why bisexual women and lesbians like doing it

Anyway we both liked it and we just carried on hooking up on the regular and it's been like 8 months now and tbh I just think it's very sweet and heartwarming, like it actually makes me feel a little emotional how we're close enough and care about each other enough that we can even help each other out with the physical intimacy side of things so that we don't get sexually frustrated while we're stuck in lockdown

I just think it's really cool and we even sleep in the same bed most of the time now because tbh what's the point in sleeping alone when you can sleep in the same bed as someone else? It's nicer, like you can cuddle and stuff

Anyway, I think that maybe Kaylor's relationship might have been similar. I think they're both straight but they became really close friends in a short space of time, and that their friendship was so intense that it became physical but in a platonic way

I think lesbians and bisexual women are amazing and I have so much respect for you guys for accepting yourselves in a society that tries to erase you, and I think there definitely needs to be more wlw representation on TV and in movies

But at the same time, I would also like there to be more close female friendships like the one that me and my friend have where you can just talk about everything together and do things that society usually reserves for romantic partners, but in a platonic way. Because female friendship is really important and beautiful, whether that's between straight women like me and my friend who I think is probably straight too, or between queer women because one thing I've learnt during my short time on this blog is how queer women can have very close platonic friendships with other queer women too

I think society just has overly strict ideas of "straight" and "gay". Like for some people, they would hear about two women sleeping together and think "Oh that's gay", but not necessarily because straight women can enjoy sleeping with other women too, like it's normal 🤷‍♀️

I think it's just a result of women being a lot more physically beautiful than men are, like straight women really got the short end of the stick tbh compared to straight men

I also think it's because women are so oversexualized in the media, and obviously straight girls see that too and so we sort of internalize that attraction to women because we're so used to seeing women being presented in a sexual way? Except it's not real attraction with us like how it is for queer girls

Like I'm very much "attracted" to my friend, she's genuinely stunning and just very hot tbh. But I still identify as straight because it's just a case of what I mentioned above, it's a "fake" attraction. And also because men are afraid to compliment other men because it's seen as "gay", but women can be fully confident in their sexuality and still recognize other women's beauty and sex appeal. You see it all the time in instagram comments, and I really love how we're all so supportive of each other like that

Like I can be fully confident in my sexuality and yet still say that some women like my friend are gorgeous as hell and also 100 times better looking than most men I've seen. I'm very much obsessed with some women's appearances but in a platonic way

And I just love the concept of "girl crushes" and I think that from a feminism viewpoint, it's beautiful that we're focusing on other girls and showing love towards other girls too, instead of just to men who, let's be real, don't even fully appreciate it half of the time

I am going to be sad when we all have to return to life as usual and my friend and I won't be able to spend as much time together anymore. I'm dreading it tbh, I don't want it to end yet. And it really sucks that the physical side of our friendship will probably have to stop too once our other roommate comes back because I think she'd definitely misunderstand the situation and think it's something different than it actually is if she ever saw us kissing or something. I really am going to miss it a lot though, I really like how things currently are and it's just really really nice and I don't want it to change :/

Btw I'm sorry if I sounded fetishistic or offensive with any of this, I just get a bit jealous sometimes that you guys get to date girls and we're just stuck with men. Honestly if it wasn't for all of the homophobia and the struggles that you all have to face and the fact that it would feel disrespectful to the LGBT community, I would probably really wish I could change my sexuality to be bisexual or gay instead because I just think women are better. Sometimes I really do wish I was into women in that way because dating girls just sounds so much more appealing to me (in a non fetishizing weird way) but unfortunately I'm stuck with dating men 🤦‍♀️ But I also know I'm lucky and privileged to be straight even though most men are mediocre and kinda gross and I don't mean to be disrespectful because I know you all have to face homophobia and other LGBT difficulties and it really sucks, people are awful. There's nothing wrong with women dating women or men dating men at all, society is just ugly and bigoted

Anyway, does anybody else have a similar sort of take on Kaylor where they think they could have both been straight and just had a very close friendship with a physical side to it? I think it would explain a lot. But like I said, this is just a theory of mine based on my own situation, and I'm also open to the idea that it was an actual relationship and that they're both into women for real, not just fake "into women" like I am.

Also pls feel free to call me out if I accidentally said anything offensive towards LGBT people, I tried my best but if I made a mistake anywhere pls let me know and I'll avoid it next time!

You’re not offensive. Please stop apologizing. And we’re gonna come back to the Kaylor stuff another time because... Honey. You and I need to have a conversation for a bit.

So firstly, I’m not trying to like “diagnose” you and at the end of the day it’s your choice what you want to call yourself but... tbh you might not be straight. Sexuality is fluid not static and exists on a spectrum not in absolutes. It’s not like it’s straight, 50/50 bi, gay and you’re born knowing and there’s no room for anything else. That’s not true. There’s a lot of room in between all of these and labels can change over time. We’re people, not cereal brands, and sometimes we don’t even KNOW the word for what we might be. I’m tagging a tag for you from when we asked people to share their label journeys for you to see. It’s not simple or easy and it’s not just because of external stuff - it’s because figuring this out internally is HARD. If you found yourself having such an intense friendship it became physical, repeatedly, you liked it a lot, you still sleep in the same bed and continue to share all your thoughts and you don’t want any of that to end... I’m not sure you’re Kinsey 0. And I think you might lowkey have a girlfriend dude. 

You can obviously prefer men but like... hun I reaaallly don’t think you’re completely straight.

Also: it’s okay to say “I see myself winding up with a man and this is a situationship for right now!” but that doesn’t make you straight because again, sexuality is a spectrum and you can manifest a particular kind of endgame while experiencing other things along the way.

But here’s where you really got me: “most men are mediocre and kinda gross” and “women being a lot more physically beautiful than men are, like straight women really got the short end of the stick tbh compared to straight men” because that’s the kind of thing I used to say in my Bi 1.0 era before I ID’d as a lesbian for a bit and before Harry Styles (KING 🥺) made me bi for real. Hun, no. Straight women like men. Tbh BI women like men. I genuinely, unironically, find Harry and Timmy and Matt Smith to be sexy beasts and I would do dirty things to the former two but maybe not the latter irl in 2021 but yes also him if I could be on that Spain trip with him and Karen where they got sloshed and which I think of often. These men are genuinely fucking beautiful to me in the same way Taylor is and Di Silvers is (okay she’s prettier than all of them but like same ~vibe) and like Megan Thee Stallion is and Indira Varma in everything but especially GOT and Gillian Anderson and Keira Knightley. Like those women are HOT to me and SO. ARE. THE. MEN. 

Straight women find SO MANY DUDES hot. So many. Starting from objectively pretty options I just cannot personally understand like Chris Evans all the way through to bitches who are outchea simping for wrestlers and Cole Sprouse. Do I understand? No. But like... that’s straight girl culture and ours is not to judge. 

If you’re struggling to find men hot then... you might be gay.

Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “fake attraction”. Like queer women - especially femme women which I assume you very much are - experience the same kinds of feelings straight girls do. We have women we want to be like and look like and find enviable (me and Oenone Forbat) and women we find aesthetically gorgeous (me and Anya Taylor Joy) and we have extremely close female friends who we can spend hours on end spilling our guts to - as you say female friendships are truly special - and without going into personal people that you don’t know, that’s me and Cam and Sim right? I literally talk to them for hours. Like those are not gay feelings. And yes we can chat about those kinds of feelings with straight girls and call them “girl crushes” and not immediately get “caught out” because they experience this exact shit too.

But here’s the thing. They never do and I don’t want in the cases above to fuck these women. It’s not sexual.

The moment I can actually imagine fucking the women in question that’s... gay. 

Like it’s not “fake attraction” it’s literally just gay. That’s how we desire women. We want to fuck them. Not all women. Not always. But sometimes we want to get under or on top of one and just really truly fucking make each other moan with pleasure.

I have no idea if Karlie or Taylor are into women. They could both literally be straight. I have no idea.

But I have a better idea about you.

Hun, you’re fucking your roommate/best friend and don’t want to stop.

You’re not “into women”.

You’re into this woman.

And possibly into women more generally.

So I know it’s weird to have to be the one to tell you this, and if you want to keep chatting via anon or in my DMs or if you want me to try collate resources for you from around the web but...

Like.

Dude.

You’re a whole ass part of the rainbow.

Welcome to the community you thought you weren’t a part of earlier today 🌈 ❤️

It’s nice here, sure there’s homophobia, but at least we get to fuck girls and man is it good.