#but when it comes to Joe‚ Ming is the fucking worst

[respectthepetty]

*about my stand-in* A chained up kidnapping plot? And it's only episode 4? Why I never!

I originally thought it was going to be sexy times with Joe's hands tied behind him when he lifted Ming's shirt with his mouth.

Only to realize during the fourth episode's previews that Ming was going to fuck Joe over.

And yet . . . I loved it because it actually showed how crazy Ming is . . .

ABOUT JOE!

We know Ming is jealous and possessive, but he didn't hold Joe hostage to help Tong but because Tong activated Ming's batshit crazy behavior the second he mentioned Sol.

So, like, good for him really loving Joe in a completely fucked up way where he'd rather tie Joe up, feed him, and spend all his money on him just to keep him away from his friend.

That's the toxic behavior I like to see!

What a fucking pathetically insane asshole.

I love him the most-est.

[ppeonppeonhan]

Songs That Remind Me of BL Characters & Couples

@zimmbzon kindly tagged me in their post, prompting me to share the first ten songs in my On Repeat playlist. Highly recommend checking theirs out, because mine is...rather basic. And becauuuuse it's basic, I'm gonna add another layer to this and tell you which BL character or couple perfectly matches the vibe of each song.

1 | "imperfect for you" by Ariana Grande: This one's off her new "please feel sad for me because even though I'm messy when it comes to love I still have feelings" album. I may have listened to this one "on repeat," because it's just cathartic to two-step to these lyrics: "I'm fucked up / anxious / too much / but I'll love you / like you need me to / imperfect for you." What's that? Self-awareness? Respect. I just know Ming from My Stand-In would have the audacity to sing this to body-swapped Joe.

2 | "Acid Dreams" by MAX and Felly: Could not tell you who either of these people are but this song is a snap-worthy bop that got me feeling myself every time it comes on -- probably because it opens with: "You look so good in a night gown girl / freckles on your face / lemme kiss each one." This was clearly meant for my generation, because there is not a single human under 30 in possession of a night gown. But Khem from Deep Night would 1,000% use this song to charm the pants off of someone.

3 | "Toco Toco To" by Dixson Waz: I'm Dominican. And even though I understand Spanish, I cannot for the life of me tell you what this man is saying, but I can assure you it is inappropriate. Rated NC-17 without a doubt. And for that reason, I'd pair this song with the entire cast of Playboyy -- just casually playing this in the background of one of their random, impromptu, midday sex parties.

4 | "Lie to Me" by Meghan Trainor: Obsessed. Not with her. With her music. She has so many non-butt-related songs that are worth a listen. I truly feel like she's underrated -- on par with Ed Sheeran -- and she doesn't get enough credit for it. In this track, she sings: "I don't want the truth / I want you." That sounds exactly like our lovesick boy Nick in Only Friends, thirsting after anti-monogamy Boston like he didn't know better.

5 | "Jealous" by Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, & Big Sean: While it is true that every single person on this track is problematic, including producer DJ Khaled, the swagger is immaculate. Every time it comes on, I, sincerely, close my eyes and just picture BTS's rap line to cleanse the beat. Not gonna miss out on a banger because men are the worst. Anywayyyy, the most jealous character I can think of is Way from Pit Babe, who tried to r-word his "bestie" because he chose a random nerd over him. He fits in well with these clowns.

6 | "Bounce Back" by Little Mix: The only British pop girl group I've ever intentionally streamed is Spice Girls, but the algorithm clearly thought it meant I'd like this group, and the track that hooked me was one that sampled the iconic Soul II Soul's "Back to Life." Instant replay. Someone I think lives and breathes the mantra "You can have me however you want me / however you need me" is the Sultan of Simp, Karan from Cherry Magic (Thailand). Achi could've asked for a kidney, and he would've delivered. But coming in a close second is obviously Rain from Love in the Air. Payu had to practically beat him off with a stick -- no pun intended.

7 | "Body" by Loud Luxury and Brando: It's the buildup to the chorus for me -- come to find out many listens later that it's about a guy who is begging a girl to sleep with him because he's been "waiting too long." 🙄 This one very obviously goes to Yuan from Unknown, who damn near disintegrated Qian's clothes the minute he saw even the glimmer of a green light. Talk about a slow build.

8 | "Into You" by Fabolous feat. Tamia: Back in 2003, rappers used to drop an R&B hit every now and then to remind women that they were romantics. The gaslight kings of the aughts. So in this track, this duo talks about an inexplicable-but-undeniable connection, which only makes me think of Vegas and Pete from KinnPorsche. Those two needed a PowerPoint presentation to explain to their friends and family how they went from hostage situation to star-crossed lovers. But we got nothing -- just good vibes and patricide.

9 | "i wonder..." by j-hope feat. Jung Kook: Do I miss them? Yes. Will I listen to any BTS track that's easy to Namjoon to? Yes. Now that we got that out of the way: This song is about enjoying the moment and not wasting the good times by dreading the future. And that just screams Be My Favorite to me. Kawi just kept trying to time-travel his way to a hetero fantasy, not realizing his queer happily ever after was standing right in front of him the whole time in the gorgeous form of the eternally patient Pisaeng.

10 | "MY HOUSE" by Beyoncé: Not to bring up BTS again, but 👀...j-hope would body any choreography set to this song. Without breaking a sweat. And mother would be proud. On this track, the Queen B speaks of once dreaming of the wealth, fame, and stability she has now, and making sure to only keep positive people around her, because love heals. Sailom from Dangerous Romance would certainly relate to having similar dreams and beliefs, and effortlessly exudes equally feisty bad bitch energy. I still can't get over how he disarmed his bully (and future love interest), Kanghan, by basically saying, "You clearly like me. Shut up." And saying it with tongue.

That was fun. 🤸🏿‍♂️

[becauseimanicequeen]

I read your hilarious post on your bad taste and couldn't believe you mentioned Xena. That was my favorite show as a child too! We have similar taste in qls too.

What are your favorite ql characters though? I tend to like the darker kind. It would be interesting to read your thoughts.

Have a nice day.

Hi, Anon.

Glad to meet a fellow Xena lover.

When it comes to QL characters, my taste is similar to the QLs in that post you mentioned. I’m usually drawn to the bad bitches. So, here are the…

Bad bitches that have me in a chokehold.

My memory is a bit fucked, but these are the ones I can remember off the top of my head right now.

*spoilers ahead, so read at your own peril*

Tan/New (DFF)

Everything started with his brother disappearing and ended with him torturing the people responsible with their worst fears and deepest secrets. All the while having a backup plan knowing his closest ally would turn on him. New is no dumbass. He's a determined, prepared, avenging manipulator. And this bad bitch was determined to avenge his brother (and his own suffering) even if it killed him. I don't know about you, but I love a man who knows what he wants.

Todd (Not Me)

On the topic of manipulation... This prince charming put his lover (you can't convince me they weren't) into a coma while manipulating his lover's twin brother to join a gang whose mission is to take down the man who stands in the way of making Todd the king of Thailand's business world. Master manipulator at its finest (and he's fine as fuck). What's not to love?

Black (Not Me)

He was put into a coma by his lover (again, you can't convince me they weren't) and paid back in the same coin because this bitch is petty as fuck. And I love him for it.

Ai Di (Kiseki: Dear to Me)

This colorful and feisty little shit had me in a chokehold from the first moment I saw him. He runs head-first into fights, can kick ass (and do), and is often manhandled by his "adoptive" brother/best friend/crush while kicking and screaming. And let's not forget he's petty and admits it.

Vegas (KinnPorsche)

This bitch with daddy issues is a walking, talking toxic issue from start to finish in KinnPorsche. He drugged Porsche to assault him (and get under his cousin's skin), killed Tawan whom he only hooked up with to take down his cousin, captured and tortured Pete only to fuck him when the pet hedgehog died, not to forget he sat in Tankhun's seat at the dinner table (I mean, where are his fucking manners? lol)... And this is just a summary. But it's also because of all of this that Vegas is my favorite character in KinnPorsche.

Boston (Only Friends)

He's a slut. That's it. He doesn't need more context. Give me a slut, and a toxic one at that, and I'll love them forever. I know, I've got issues... But so does Boston, which is why I love him.

And the most recent bad bitch to come into my life…

Ming (My Stand-In)

It's too soon for me to say anything substantial about Ming (since only one episode is out and I haven't read the novel). BUT. It took less than an hour for this man to grab me by the throat... and I let him. It took him less than an hour to claim ownership of my soul... and I let him (I even begged him to during the scene in the gif above). This man is trouble. And I love trouble. I won't defend his actions, but I will love him.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I need this bad bitch to break Joe’s heart into a million little pieces (because we all know it’s happening anyway). I need him to be toxic. I need him to be a problem. I need him to the THE PROBLEM.

And when he realizes what he's done, I need him to pay for it by crawling through hell, only to beg on his knees for forgiveness when he realizes Joe is back, and then pay with his own blood when he tries his utmost to stitch Joe’s heart back together. Just give me the pain!

I love every single one of these characters. And I love that I love them.

I know, it’s a me-problem. But at least I'm aware of it.

I’m sure I’ll remember more characters that have me in a chokehold as soon as I hit publish on this. But, at least this is a start for now.

Thanks for your ask.

[vegaseatsass]

#ooh v interesting analysis op #and also your tags #i also think ming WAS getting serious with joe he slowly but surely was moving on from tong and starting to treat this relationship as real #he would never admit that of course and reacted very negatively to any implication #but he loved the domesticity he loved the pillows he bought the cups #he secretly enjoyed everything joe did that made it feel like they belong together #it's very telling that when arguing with joe in ep 4 he referred to himself as his boyfriend #meaning that by that point he was already considering this an actual relationship #but his years long fixation on tong was hard to let go of he was used to thinking that THAT was real #but i think that last ouburst of feelings triggered by tong purposefully rubbing salt in his wound #saying things like aren't you excited to be my brother in law (which i think he did bc mingjoe looked too boyfriendy to his liking) #that heartbreak was the final. after that when tong called him complaining abt the situation he didn't give a fuck that tong lost his job #his attention was fully on joe and sol #and i think ming was aware of these changes happening in his heart #he admitted several time that he's happy when he's with joe #he didn't deny in front of may that he's seeing him #and i think when joe said that ming doesn't love him and only loves tong that's when it really hit him that it's actually not true anymore #also when joe asked have you ever loved me and ming responded all this time together and you couldn't tell #because ming COULD tell that he's catching real feelings for joe #he's constantly self sabotaging and dealing with his feelings in the worst ways imaginable but he's aware of them #another thing is he doesn't believe he deserves happiness #he says that himself in that conversation with may #and i think that's very telling of what kind of state of mind he's in #and explains a lot about the way he treats good things coming into his life (joe) -@ahxu-laowen

YES YES YES all of this godddd thank you this for this delicious analysis. I loooove the note that Tong was probably intentionally rubbing salt in Ming's wounds because he didn't like how happy and moved on Ming was looking with Joe - it totally tracks with how much Tong likes to keep him eating out of his palm, and how threatening he finds Mingjoe (and how rightfully threatened Mingjoe and even MAY feel about Mingjoe being exposed to Tong).

Tonight I rewatched episode 4 with a friend, and was really struck by the entire sequence of Tong's fail manipulations of everyone, with storming off set/quitting the movie. He's so lucky he happened to escalate Ming at his most insane and get Joe chained to a couch for the press conference, because the like four other manipulation tracks he attempted with Pao, Wut and Joe before that all completely flopped. Lmao it was making me laugh how out of his element he was as soon as Joe decided to compete against him in earnest, but it was definitely also an interesting glimpse into just how heavily and frequently Tong relies on manipulation, and how easily he tells lies with a straight face ("I wish I could quit acting" "I think Wut's plan all along was to push his people! That's why I'm mad and calling you and oops just offhandedly namedropping Sol"). There's seriously no doubt in my mind at this point that he's well aware of Ming's feelings, knowingly stringing him along, and trying to control any relationships Ming has outside of him, the same way he tries to control Joe and his choices, and truly everyone's choices around him.

I 100% agree that when Ming snaps and pulls out the baseball bat, no part of him was reacting to any of the Tong-related content of that phone call. I think you're right that his drunken Christmas grieving was like, a final split before he was about to be able to move on (which means he really experiences the break-up as an extra crazy-making rug-getting-pulled-out-from-under-him moment). But that makes it so extra interesting and like, sadfunny to me, that he unthinkingly sabotages himself SO HARD by staying in this old pattern of doing favors for Tong.

Okay, you want to keep Joe all to yourself and force him not to leave you and keep him from ever speaking to Sol again. Deranged and toxic but I'll try to stay with you for a minute. Does that mean you needed to kill two birds with one stone and give Tong what he wants in his desire to sabotage Joe's career, WHILE trying to convince Joe you love him??? At the point Ming goes through with this plan, he knows Joe is breaking up with him because he thinks Ming loves Tong and not him, but Ming just doesn't even question the logic that doing a favor for Tong like he always does is the normal and practical thing to do, as long as he can also address his own immediate, insane, basementwife!Joe needs.

Characters making choices out of habit that are so completely counter to their goals is just a fascinating dynamic to me, and more and more on this rewatch I'm realizing Ming is like the blueprint of this. I really do think he was trying to change with Joe and be better than someone you "shouldn't give your first time to", but his baseline impulses are so controlling/red flag/maladaptive that the more vulnerable or out of control he feels - the more he feels like he needs Joe and can't lose him - the shittier he acts, and the more he conversely guarantees that Joe will never trust that he loves him.

And I think before Joe and with Joe and for Joe, Ming understood these traits about himself, and was trying to change (my evidence is those few times he warns Joe away from himself, some of what he says to May that you mention, and things like trying to connect with Joe by making instant noodles when he's with May, or cook for him). He was changing at like, a snail's pace, a lot of one step forward two steps back, really not very good at it hahaha, but he was trying. But losing the stability of Joe's love and regard truly drives him insane and into becoming his absolute worst self.

This is not to blame Joe btw, the passive voice of "Ming loses Joe" fails to capture how astronomically Ming singlehandedly fucked over his own relationship and happiness, because he wanted to have his cake and eat it too when he first met Joe and kept chasing that "I'm pretending my nice sweet boyfriend is Tong" sex high long past when that was what their relationship was about to Ming; because he could not curb his impulse to control and belittle every time he felt a little scared; because of his enormous allergy to apologies, humility, and honest vulnerability. Nonetheless, I can't deny my enjoyment of a character whose bad behavior is coming from how insanely attached he's become, and now that I believe Ming KNEW he was attached and happy and in love, and just utterly failed to communicate a single bit of that to Joe (quite the opposite in fact!! repeatedly!!!), it's extra tasty.

Episode 5 also to me confirmed that 2 years later, Ming's still stuck as that worst self - yes he's trying to make Joe want to return to him by keeping the lights on and the dinner cooked, but it's very his bargaining stage of grief over the break-up, rather than genuine change. Every interaction he has with new!Joe or the fortune teller or tbh anyone reveals that he's stuck in the same place Joe left him, this endless chasm of demanding wanting, no self-reflection, not a drop of growth. Joe made him better and want to be better, but he never became good enough that he could weather not having Joe. He's going to have to figure out how to make it work, but that's a tall order lmao.

Rewatched My Stand-In eps 2 and 3 tonight, and I'm definitely newly fascinated with Ming POV/Ming's internal concept of what was happening between him and Joe that entire time. I forgot just how much we got of Ming's home life and family in episode 2, and my brain is abuzz trying to connect all the dots. His relationship with May is so interesting. She clocks that he and Joe are together on Christmas, and is immediately careful to conceal it not just from their parents but from Tong. May and Ming have this "us against the world" vibe where they protect and cover for each other, going back to May giving herself pneumonia saving Ming from drowning. I absolutely believe there's more going on in their family than mom pressuring Ming to marry women any time he goes home - I actually suspect things about his family are being obscured for future painful reveals - but May is a safe space for him. Until Tong is added into the picture, and Ming has to flee the country for four years to get away from his big feelings. It's just kind of bonkers to me that he had this intense, safe and presumably very grounding relationship with his sister, but made his obsession with a random movie star the centerpiece of his world instead. Why did he imprint on Tong? Is it really just Joe's sexy back muscles that drew him in? Did he think if he could land a famous movie star his parents would accept him being with a man? Was it subconscious self-sabotage of his only safe relationship lol? I genuinely have no idea!! What I am stuck on though is when he told May he was working through something, and would tell her when he was ready, but he promised he'd get through it. On rewatch, it seems very obvious that what he's talking about is the torch he's carrying for Tong, so to me that's a reveal that he's deliberately trying to move on with Joe - not using him as a sex doll replacement, but throwing himself into something real. (What's messy obviously is that Ming started this for the proxyfucking, but I think overhearing Joe confess his love for Ming to Sol is when Ming started making a determined effort to choose Joe.) There's also his reaction to Joe's Christmas gift where the watch becomes a metaphor for Joe himself (vs. Tong): Ming doesn't need the "top" one, why can't he want the "normal" one?

The first time I was watching this, I assumed that Ming just has no internal awareness of how important Joe is to him, he just feels pure need and acts very very normal when his emotional support stand-in is ripped away. I assumed Ming believes he's in love with Tong and thinks he's just passing some time with Joe. It doesn't help that every time Joe presses him on anything emotional Ming shuts him down or outright negs him lolllll

But like for example, in the scene where they're shopping together and Joe gets excited about the couple mugs, first Ming snaps "What makes you think we're a couple?", then he tries to mitigate his slip by playing it off: "after living with me, you'll realize you don't want me as a boyfriend." His kneejerk impulse to shut Joe down and say cruel things is imo a defense mechanism, a really maladaptive one that helps convince Joe later on that there was never any love there, but I'm starting to think it's triggered in response to actually wanting the intimacy and primacy that Joe is pushing for, and being terrified of that.

It would make so much sense for somebody who is terrified of needing anybody else, of being vulnerable or feeling anything real, to decide they're in love with a complete asshole movie star who uses their family for money and them personally for favors, and shape their life around that. Especially now that I understand how young Ming was when he first fixated on Tong (17ish??), I just feel like that entire imprinting is your classic teenager-who-is-not-ready-to-be-in-a-real-relationship parasocial spiral. I used to do it with male celebrities too!!! (I am a lesbian. lmfaooo)

It's interesting because while there's something conceptually romantic about the back Ming first got obsessed with being Joe's all along, it ultimately doesn't really matter to me WHO the onscreen person that he fixated upon was. What matters is how ill-equipped Ming has proven to handle real feelings for a real person in front of him, and the journey he has from here to learn how to human. I can't wait. P.S. Other thing I forgot happened in episode 2: - Ming made drunk!Joe sleep on the floor of Joe's own home - BEFORE Ming moved in or had any claim to the space - AFTER Ming told Sol he would take "really really good care of Joe" as a way of trying to claim Joe in front of the competition His journey to human is going to be a loooooooooooooooooong one, methinks... 😈

[respectthepetty]

Everybody shut up! My favorite little toxic motherfucker just dropped!

Ming is awful in all the best ways!

He practices safe sex.

He knows how he likes it.

He is direct when it comes to sex (but nothing else).

He is aggressive.

He has problems.

And he is about to be a whole ass problem.

I love him!

And so does Joe,

which is where he fucked up!

Ming only wants one thing right now, and that's a stand-in.

I won't apologize for anything this man does

Because I'm actively rooting for him to be The Worst

I'm so happy!