#but whERE did tony hawk come from i dont think i even saw a pic of him yesterday or anything

[toxooz]

just had a dream tony hawk gave me a cool life advice one liner but i caint rememBER THE EXACT WORDS NOW NOOO

[guardians-of-blood]

More incorrect quotes! Hooray! (i will add the title later)

Ray: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Tsubasa: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Ray, desperately, as Tsubasa bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tsubasa: Oh! B positive.

Ray: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Tsubasa:

Mars: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Kuno: I think you mean cards.

Mars, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Pluto: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Mars: Stop romanticizing the past.

Ray: Where are you going?

Tsubasa: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Kayda, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Vian: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Kayda, with the tone of someone who is used to Vian: Outstanding.

Kayda: This is what I’m talking about people.

Pyrrhus: Vian was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Vian: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Pyrrhus: Vian, you ate a chair.

Tsubasa: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Kuno's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Nina: What's wrong with you?

Celeste: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Tsubasa, texting Ray: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater…

Ray′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later.

*Later*

Ray, texting back: Fuck you.

Celeste: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Burnet: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Celeste: I wish I was a dinosaur.

Valkyrie: Why? Cause they're big and scary?

Celeste: Because they're dead.

Ray: I failed my safety training course today.

Tsubasa: Why, what happened?

Ray: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Tsubasa: And?

Ray: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Tsubasa: We all have our demons.

Tsubasa, grabbing Ray: This one’s mine.

"I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Ray."

- Tsubasa Amanogawa

Tsubasa: I have an idea.

Ray: A good idea?

Tsubasa: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

"You know what’s funny about Ray? He's my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt him is someone I’d murder, probably."

- Tsubasa Amanogawa

Tsubasa: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Tsubasa: Not you Ray. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Ray: I have no fears.

Kuno: What if one day you woke up and Tsubasa was taller than you?

Ray: I have one fear. 

*on Ellen*

Ellen: So I hear you tweet about wanting to die

Celeste: haha yeah, I do

*Death comes out, creeps up behind her*

Celeste: omg Ellen you didn't 

Kayda: Weird. All my shirts are disappearing.

Noir and Pyrrhus: *wearing Kayda’s shirts for the 5th time in a row* Spooky. 

Celeste: Does anyone have any questions?

Basil: *Stands up* Okay, well I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been going through a lot lately.

Celeste: That’s not a question.

Basil: And I know you’ve often wondered: “Who is Basil, really?”

Noir: Nope, never.

Tsubasa: Until February, I thought your name was Jasper.

Basil: You know, there are times when I look out these windows, and I know you’re all thinking, “What makes the measure of this man?”

Mars: Oh my god, you’d better be dying!

Basil: Look, I’m telling you all, with pride and excitement… and a lot of pride, about the new and improved Basil. Noir, give me a beat!

Noir: Sorry, what?

Basil: When somebody asks for a beat you just, you don't ask a lot of questions. You just get down on it.

Noir: Oh, you want, like, a syncopated thing or, like, a vibey thing?

Basil: Just do it. Hmm? *Basil sings '80s pop rock song about being Bisexual*

*All the Dreamseekers stare at him*

Basil: Oh, come on. You guys aren’t weirded out because I’m bisexual, are you?

Pyrrhus: No, we’re weirded out by the fact that you interrupted the meeting to tell us that.

Celeste: Anyone have questions? Besides Basil, who seems to think that every Dreamseeker meeting is about him for some reason. 

Noir: *Having an existential crisis* Do you know… what it’s like to be afraid of yourself?

Vian, thinking about that time he ate an entire family sized bag of doritos in one evening: God dude I sure do. 

Feliks: Shit, I’m late for school!

Feliks: Oh wait, I’m 20.

Feliks: I’M A TEACHER!!! 

Vian: A spoonful of Nutella counts as lunch, right?

Pyrrhus: Vian, that will kill you.

Vian: I'm only allergic to like four things in it.

Pyrrhus: VIAN!!!!

*somewhere else*

Noir, terrified: What was that?!

Kayda: That was the call of someone who is very pissed and on a mission to fuck someone up.

Basil: So, how’d you convince all of them to betray me? What’d you offer them?

Chalcedony: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.

"bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches"

- Kuno Aurich

"So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress"

- Raymond 'Ray' Seidel

Vian: Yum, thanks!

Kidnapper: *puts more tape over his mouth* I said stop eating it.

Tsubasa: *writing a letter*

Tsubasa: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Ray: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Tsubasa: All I drank was Redbull!

Ray: How many?

Tsubasa: Eighteen

Tsubasa: Hey, are you okay?

Ray: Yeah.

Tsubasa: You don't look okay...

Ray: Then stop looking.

Mars: Fight me!

Pluto, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Tsubasa: I'm going to fight the next person who insults Ray.

Ray: I hate myself.

Tsubasa: Alright, square up.

Pluto: Know why I called you in here?

Mars: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Pluto: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Pluto: When's the last time you slept?

Mars: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Pluto: A few- how many?!

Mars: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers...

Pluto: What you need is sleep!

Kuno: When you’re gay in your house with nobody else, you’re homolone

Ray: When you’re bi and there’s nobody else around, you’re biyourself

Basil: Please stop

Feliks: Top 30 reasons Feliks is sorry. Number 5 will surprise you.

Mikael: TOP 30 ANIME DEATHS. NUMBER 1, YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!

Leni: Ray, are you high?

Ray: Am I what?

Leni: High.

Ray: Hi.

Pluto: So what’s for dinner?

Mars, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

Pluto: Am I in trouble?

Mars: Take a guess.

Pluto: No?

Mars: Take another guess.

Pluto, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Mars.

Mars: How did you do that without turning around?

Pluto: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Pluto: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Mars: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Pluto: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Mars: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Pluto: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Mars: No! Four to five seconds!

Pluto: Too late!!!

Pluto: I was arrested for being too cool.

Mars: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Pluto: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Mars: Thank you

Pluto: I didn't say that was a good thing

Mars: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Pluto: Okay, truth or dare?

Mars: Truth

Pluto: How many hours have you slept this week?

Mars:

Mars: ...Dare

Pluto: Go to bed.

Mars: I don’t like this game.

Mars: I’m going to take you out

Pluto: great, it’s a date!

Mars: I meant that as a threat.

Pluto: See you at five!

Mars: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Pluto: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Mars: Absolutely not.

Pluto: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Mars: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Pluto: Okay, help me please!

Mars: Got two words for you.

Pluto: I bet they won't be helpful.

Mars: Your problem.

Pluto: I was right

Kuno: Why did you give Luth a knife?

Tsubasa: He felt unsafe.

Kuno: Now I feel unsafe.

Tsubasa: Sorry.

Tsubasa: Want a knife?