#but we spend hours of our time creating those gifsets

[joanna-lannister]

i swear, when people don't reblog stuff, it makes the gifmaker wonder if their gifset is good enough and worthy to be reblogged

[basilone]

I want to hear your thoughts on fandom and the recent influx of the term content creation!

Well, anon, you are in luck! (Or not, depending on your definition of luck. 😉) I just so happen to have many Thoughts & Opinions™ about this. I will get wordy, this will get lengthy, and I will be social and put most of my thoughts under a readmore cut.

I personally try to avoid the terms ‘content’ and ‘content creation’ when talking about fandom works and a fandom’s creative pursuits nowadays. Occasionally, sure, it happens that it slips out anyway – it’s a term we’re all really used to using! – but I want to be as mindful about its use as possible. This is a personal decision on my account and I won’t get uppity about other people’s use of these terms, though.

But, Killy, you might say... why would you avoid using these terms? For me, here’s why:

Content is not synonymous with art;

Content creation indicates something different than art creation;

Fandom should not be subject to consumerism;

Fandom is about connection.

If all a fandom puts out is classified as content, that fandom is going to die.

Yeah. I know. Melodramatic much? I’m on my fainting couch here, folks. 😂 But let’s dig in, shall we?

You know, maybe it’s just the archivist in me that balks at the term ‘content’. Content is a data entry field in the archival system we use at my real-life job: literally speaking, this data entry field is where we put a brief summary of the document attached to that specific archival file. It contains information that tells you the key takeaways of what the document is about, but it will not contain the full text of the document itself. Content is one of the points of access for our archival search: I know what I’m looking for, so I put a few keywords into our search and it pulls up the relevant file. But what do I need, really need, in my line of work? It’s the document itself, not the data entry field. The document tells me the whole story that I need to be able to truly do my job well. The content-field is a cliffnotes edition of that story.

It’s the same way with the art we create in fandom. I’m gonna take myself as an example here, because I create a fair bit! (Shocking, I know. Local Tumblr cryptid sighting, more at 11. 😎) I spend hours writing fic. I spend hours sorting through screencaps before screeching at Photoshop for a lengthy amount of time. I spend days pouring over quotes, books, documents, photographs, tutorials, and other things that will help me create something cool. I apply color theory, art framing/perspective, narrative focus, and many other theories and techniques to my writing and my giffing. If I were to put my finished work or any of my WIPs in that same archive system, it would be the document within the archival file. The tags I use on my posts? Those are markers similar to the content-field. They tell you who my gifset depicts and from which show it is. They tell you which OC of mine my fic is about. My work contains these things I tagged.

But my creative work is not content itself.

Content is marketable, easy access, blurb-y stuff. Content is something you absorb within one minute flat. Content is the highlight reel. It’s what fills a page, something you’ll scroll past in a heartbeat, something that barely stands out in a long long long list of stuff. Content is what you consume on a lazy Sunday afternoon without ever being forced to read lengthy pieces, take in the details of what you see, pause mid-scroll to ponder the meaning of life, whatever else have you. Create content and you create a flash in the pan, a quick laugh maybe, before it fizzles back out again. Create content and it’s here today and gone tomorrow without anyone mourning its absence for too long.

Art should last longer than that, don’t you think? 😉

So when I see people put a fic request in an askbox and it’s phrased like “Speirs x spy!reader fluff” and that very same request makes its way into about ten more askboxes before the fandom starts comparing asks? I might be inclined to classify us all as slot machines. Put an ask in and out rolls a fic. Who cares which slot machine it came from? As long as you’ve got your painstakingly crafted fics that you consume the same way you do actual content, right? We, its writers, are just lucky if we get a pat of acknowledgement on our little slot machine head for our troubles, aren’t we?

When I see an overly detailed summary of what sounds like a full-fledged fic in an askbox and the demand is “write this for me”, I recoil from the screen and go “child, who the hell birthed you, were you raised in a barn?” out loud. If you can tell a story in the space of an askbox, consider asking for help to let that story – a story you own, a story that is more yours that it could ever be mine – grow into what it has the potential to be.

When I see fics and gifsets and other creations get likes but not reblogs, I mutter something about the state of fandom economy these days. We exist in a little fandom bubble. Our bubble can’t expand or blow from place to place without a little help from our friends. And you’re my friends, right? I know the follow-button says follow, guys, believe me, I’m not that far gone, but for me ‘follow’ means ‘friend’. 💚 You’re my buddy now. Suck it up. We’ll share a can of peaches. 🍑

When I see fics and other creations get reblogged without tags or comments attached, I die a little on the inside. I feel like a little Victorian orphan child going “please, reblogger, a little penny of thought for its creator, if it pleases?”. I feel like commentless and/or tagless reblogging is giving me nothing, nothing at all, about who you are.

And I want to get to know you! I want to know who’s in my notes. I want to know who’s scrambling through my MotA gifsets like a fat little raccoon inhaling its third helping of a box of jelly-filled donuts. I want to know who is adopting which character and why. I want to know that it’s your birthday, or that you had a bad day and needed a pick-me-up, or that you are locked in an Ikea at three in the morning reading my blog by the bright lights of countless Solhetta bulbs. I want to know that you love my OC Darlene but that you ain’t sure what the hell my OC Lottie’s got to do with anything. I want to know what tickles you – a turn of phrase I used, a color in a gifset, a little detail I captured that made me go !!!!!! on the inside while I was creating too – and I want to know what moves you.

What reaches into the soil of your being and nourishes you enough to blossom into whichever lovely self you can grow to be? What is precious to you? What comforts you in the dark nights of your soul, when all light feels like it’s faded out? What do you love, truly love? What feeling and thought and idea and love love LOVE do you consume – truly consume, head to tail, no takebacks – and what are you consumed by in turn?

Let me connect with you. Let me know the little internet scraps of you that tell me you’re a DeMarco girlie, or that you’re here for Hoosier only, or that you’re as feral and batty about Speirs as I am, or that you actually really can’t stand the one dude everyone else raves about. Let me know that you like angsty quotes on gifsets – feel free to yell at me for making you schedule an impromptu therapy session – or let me know you saw what I did in my fic there and you’ll be demanding compensation from me while you lie down and wail about it. Let me know you’re very into those lovely blues on a gifset (I know, SO good, right??) or that you are side-eyeing me because that close-up of your fave turned you into a little puddle.

Let me know what moves you, because I created these things with love. I created them because they moved me, too. I created them because I have a story to tell, somehow. I created them because the whole world is a string of stories and I want to pass the heart of them on to you. I created them not because I want to jump on a hypetrain that races past all the episodes and all the alternate universes and all the stories without stopping, but because I want to soak up the sun and point at something and tell you “look, isn’t this beautiful?”. I created them not because I am looking for a quick fix or a distraction or an escape, but because I want to give you something that nourishes you as it has nourished me.

That’s so much more than that quick flash in the pan, yeah? That’s so much more than what content could ever hope to be. That’s something that lasts beyond the clicks and gives you an ever-expanding horizon that leaves you wondering just what in the world is next.

Let me repeat point five: if all a fandom puts out is classified as content, that fandom is going to die. Because content doesn’t sustain you. Connection does. And connection? That happens with meaningful interaction. That happens when you stop getting followers and start getting friends. That happens when you treat all forms of art as something unique that can be precious to someone, rather than something to like today and forget about tomorrow.

Can I do a lil mic drop? Yeah. I think I’m gonna. Just this once. 🎤

[starwarsotsource]

About reposting gifs

As I mentioned yesterday, one of our gifs was reposted without credit on someone's blog, which I found through my tracked tags. I first left a comment on OP's post telling them the gif was mine, linking to the original post, and to please delete it. When I saw that the post was still up hours later, but my comment was gone, I left another comment repeating what I'd said, and I made a post here warning users about that blog. The blog is deleted now, so I wanted to talk a bit more about what happened.

➡️ Fanwork creators can do very little if our work is reposted on Tumblr

For those who don't know, it used to be that you could report posts to Tumblr as reposted content if you were the creator by providing a link to the original post - this extended to fanworks. Now, only copyright holders can request for content to be taken down. Tumblr has left fandom creators without recourse to protect our work, so the only thing we can do now is ask people to take down their posts when it happens and hope for the best.

I know that sometimes people repost gifs and fanart because they genuinely don't know that it's frowned upon. But there are also blogs filled to the brim with content they stole from other creators and are trying to pass as their own, unfortunately.

Blasting someone's blog like I did is not the kindest course of action, but by having my comment deleted, I assumed it hadn't been a genuine mistake. I also assumed that, after I left that second comment, OP would block me and that'd be that. I shared what had happened so people would know not to reblog that post, because that's the other thing - it's not just that our creations are now in someone else's blog, it's that they're going to be reblogged from that person and there's no way to stop it after that happens.

➡️ What I want to happen if you reposted my work

I woke up today to a private message from OP apologizing and saying that they would delete their blog. This is not what I'd asked or wanted, and I'm very sorry about it. I know I could have been kinder, but again, I had reason to believe OP simply didn't care, and I did the only thing I could think of to stop the damage.

I don't want you to delete your blog or leave a fandom if you mess up! I just want you to delete the post, apologize and do better.

➡️ Why you shouldn't do this

Saving someone else's gif that you found on Tumblr, or looking up gifs on Google, and uploading them into a new post on your blog along with other gifs you found is not cool. Like artists and writers, gif makers spend years learning how to use software and honing their skills; they spend their own time looking up screencaps, working on their ideas, and fine-tuning how gifs look; they create gifs for specific sets with specific ideas. It's our content. We don't want our credit to be erased, and we don't want our gifs to be part of gifsets we didn't intend them for. If I wrote a fanfic, and someone lifted a paragraph from it and inserted it into their own fic, that'd be bad, right? It's the same here.

And if that wasn't enough, there's been a huge decline for the past years in the number of notes we get, because less people use the reblog button now. Seeing our gifs duplicated doesn't help.

➡️ "What do I do if I want to..."

👉 Share this cool gifset I found on Tumblr? Reblog it! Using the reblog button is not the same as reposting - that is when you save a gif to your computer and upload it to a new post on your blog. We want you to reblog our posts!

👉 Share this cool gif I found on Google? Instead of immediately saving it to your computer from the results page, click on the image so you're taken to the source. If the source is Tumblr, you can reblog the post from there straight to your blog!

👉 Share this cool gif I found, but not the rest of the gifset? People generally create gifs in the context of a set. Say I make a set with gifs of Luke, Han and Leia, but you only want the Luke gifs. I'm sorry, but I still made it for that specific set of Luke, Han and Leia. Fortunately, there are thousands of gifsets of just Luke that you can look up and reblog!

👉 Make a new set with these cool gifs I found in different posts? Same as above. It's not a buffet. You can either reblog the original gifsets as they are, or you can learn to make your own!

👉 Share these cool gifs with my own commentary? Unless you're being obnoxious, attacking OP, or adding discourse, people generally don't mind if you add harmless comments when you reblog a gifset. You can also leave comments in tags, or in the replies section of posts.

👉 What about using the Tumblr built-in Add GIF function in posts? Yes, that's a good alternative! This feature automatically credits the original creator by adding their username that links to their blog, and it can't be removed. The original creator also gets notified if someone uses their gif in a post, which is cool - that way, we can at least see where our gifs are being used. Keep in mind that if a creator asks you to remove their gif from your post for whatever reason, the right thing to do is comply. Can you put together a whole gifset with this function? Technically yes, but a) it won't look good on your blog, and b) it's still not a cool thing to do to creators. Consider using this function only if you want to add reactions, headers, or sprinkle related gifs in your posts. Like this!

I hope this was helpful!

[decennia]

Ok I just gave up catching up on my dash full stop because Clementine and George and Wildest Dreams got my brain like this:

I feel I desperately need to make an OC for George but he is YOUR precious lol

So instead while I'm here, give me and I mean GIVE all your George and Clementine headcanon

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS FINISHING UP SOME GIFS ✨

First things first, that image lives in my mind rent free.

Second things second, please create an OC for George holy shit please yes?! George has already been romantically (or at least sexually, because Sable is a hoe) linked to Ellis Grant from @chlobenet (nothing ever came of it, George developed an infatuation and was perpetually rebuffed by our Lord and Saviour Miss Grant), @perfectlystiles' Laurel Chase, and @randomestfandoms-ocs' Reese Masrani. It is my goal to accumulate enough George Cassidy romantic interests that I can make a Wives of Henry the Eighth edit, so literally go nuts. Everyone, Create An OC To Thirst Over George Cassidy Challenge!

The best thing about George and the other Corpsemen is that the only thing that makes them Jurassic World OCs is that they happen to be hired there. It is by no means their entire story, and although they've been around for literally three days (?!) I keep thinking of more and more things about them and I keep building their backstories to the point where dinosaurs are literally the least craziest thing they've experienced.

If I were to sum up Clem and George's relationship in a gif, though:

(This got hella out of hand so keep reading under the cut if you want to know more about George and Clementine.)

A brief history on George "Sable" Cassidy and Clementine "Calico" Roscoe:

He is known as "George" to his friends, and "Cassidy" to his enemies. "Sable" when he's on the job, and "hers" when they're alone.

But it wasn't always like that. I'm not going to bore you with the details about George's fatherless upbringing, or his reasons for joining the British military, or how he'd always been a bit of a troubled kid. Where his story really begins is when he directly disobeys orders and murders the military hostages who were responsible for the attack on his unit. He is dishonourably discharged, and is sent back to the U.K. to await trial for murder and treason.

He manages an escape and goes dark; during which time, Clementine Roscoe, an agent at Interpol, is assigned his case. Unfortunately, after a year of searching (one close call where he was literally within breathing distance of Roscoe ) and a thousand too many mistaken sightings after that, the case goes cold, and she is assigned another case, one which results in the death of her entire family.

Clementine resigns from her position after she is denied leave to pursue the murderers, and spends the next few years methodically hunting down and executing the list of people she knew to be responsible. It was enough to impress Malcolm Drake, who located and recruited her into the Corpse Corporals (aka Gucci Suicide Squad).

All this time, Cassidy had been residing in Southern Africa, making a hefty living as a poacher under ever-changing pseudonyms (I had to make y'all understand that Sable is a bad man but y'all be forgiving Tom for murder and incest so here we are but honestly did it even work because here I am, being fooled, alongside you 😭). He runs a pretty decent operation, also dabbling in the smuggling of weaponry, and he lives a comfortable life. That is, until he is betrayed by his business partners (a brother-sister duo, FCs Megan Fox and Aidan Turner? Idk, still debating) and pushed out of the business under threat of death.

He is rescued by Malcolm, who has managed to track him down, and in exchange for his life spared, he agrees to work for Malcolm. His reunion with Clem is incredibly tense, with both of them pulling their guns on each other and refusing to work together. Malcolm snaps some sense into them (that, and the sum of the payload which had so many 0's added to the end, you couldn't be sure what the number really was other than "a lot") and they swallow their pride and work together.

They would continue to work together as Calico and Sable for the years to come, and when I say it is a slow burn, I do mean THE SLOWEST OF THE SLOW. But there is definitely a fuck ton of sexual tension thrown in there for angst, and a couple of near brushes with death (hazard of the job, really).

George is a prolific man whore, and he's bisexual and proud. So Clem has gotten used to an endless slew of people of all genders cumming coming and going from his hotel room, especially during the long cons where the Corpsemen go deep undercover for months at a time (Hector doesn't come on those jobs, he's got a family to worry about. He taps out at a month, max, if he doesn't get to leave to see his family).

George Cassidy is not a man who is used to not getting what he wants, but Clementine Roscoe is the only exception to that rule. He has come to view her as "unobtainable," this irreverent forbidden thing that he must not ruin. By the time the heat of their mutual hate had dissipated, it had turned into a friendship, and although there was an undeniable electric tension between them, they have never done anything about it. But it has that "will definitely be the best sex of your life" kinda energy.

They fight quite a lot, and disagree on almost everything. Have they tried to kill each other? Oh, absolutely. But they're also professionals, and although Clementine and George may be going at it, it never bothers Malcolm, because he knows that Calico and Sable will put those differences aside and do the damn job.

Clem only involves herself in George's sex life when it comes to people who she considers friends. She has the warnings already mentally scripted, because the thing about George Cassidy is that he cares about no one but himself, and nothing but his holy trinity: blood, money, and sex. He's an emotionally devoid sociopath at the best of times, and at the worst, he's a well oiled and dangerous killing machine.

He is not a good man, Clementine knows, but sometimes, you don't want a good man.

I have a gifset in store involving the two of them, and I'm busy compiling a list of headcanons as we speak. If you want, I can tag you in it :)

But this is everything about their past and a bit of their present, so if you want to create an OC please do and tag me so I can write up a crossover and make some gifs 💕

(And before anyone comes for me, yes, I am aware of the fact that George "Sable" Cassidy is a very toxic and fucking despicable man, I created him, and I made him that way. I am not condoning his actions, nor would I want to be in a relationship with him in real life, but this is fiction. It is not meant to be taken seriously, if you don't like my hot mercenary boyfriend, then please unfollow me, because he is my current obsession, and I cannot promise that I will not be thirsting for him on my TL at any and all hours).

[himbeaux-on-ice]

Who are your top five NHL teams and why?

Ooooo this is fun! Thanks anon!

Short list:

Habs ❤️🤍💙

Pens 🐧

Canucks 🌈🌊

Caps 🦅

Leafs 🟦🍁🟦 (no really! I know I don’t talk about them much but its true!)

Over-wordy explanations/backstory for my relationship to each of these teams below the cut for those interested!

Montreal Canadiens. My dearly beloved Nana, who half-raised me, is a lifelong diehard Habs fan who grew up listening to their games on the radio and then later as an adult watching them duel with the Leafs on Saturday nights on a black-and-white tv (also a BIG Carey Price stan). Needless to say she rubbed off on me immensely, and I remember saying to myself at some point “well, if that’s Nana’s team, that’s gonna be my team too” and it stuck for life. I also had a friend in middle school who was a RELIGIOUS Habs fan who also worshipped at the altar of Jesus Price in those early 2010’s, so I heard a LOT about all of that every lunch break as he argued with friends who were Pens and Bruins fans lol. We went on the Bell Centre tour during the annual 9th grade French class trip to Quebec, and while I was mostly focused on getting to the gift shop to buy Nana a souvenir, I swear my friend’s eyes were the size of quarters the whole time lmao. (Would LOVE to go back now that I care a lot). Basically the Habs are the closest thing to a local NHL team our region has bc we get their broadcasts (though people choose their own team allegiances for various random personal reasons), and I grew up absorbing through osmosis both the legends of yore and the latest updates on whatever Carey and PK and the lads were up to. (Also I’ve been quietly in love with Price myself since at least the 2014 Olympics lol. My first best fav ❤️) Bottom line the Habs are My Team, the “I’m gonna be here even when it sucks, even when players move on, this is attached to me in a way I can’t quite explain” team that every hockey fan has in their heart. GO HABS GO!

Pittsburgh Penguins. If you were an elementary school kid in Nova Scotia when Sidney Crosby was first released and up through the 2010’s, you had two options: love him, or hate him, but you better accept you’re gonna be hearing about him a LOT. I settled on “vague fondness” and followed Sid from a newspaper-scanning distance and vaguely rooted for him because when he brought the Cup home it felt like we all won. And like I said, lots of passionate Pens fans in my grade school classes to hear from (he’s also the only non-Habs player my Nana likes lol). Then I got into hockey properly last year and learned about Geno beyond just knowing his name, and my chronic affection for large loveable Russians got combined with my longstanding vague “I hope the Penguins win” feelings and my “time to get the full story on the Sidney Crosby’s Penguins narrative I only ever watched from a distance” research, in a manner not unlike the creation of the PowerPuff Girls ([chemical X] etc etc lol) to create a potent adoration for this team that rocketed them to second place in my heart. Also the fandom is just so damn fun and makes such great content, and that definitely feeds my level of engagement with the Pens!! Sometimes, when I want an emotional pick-me-up I watch one of their last 3 championship films just to remember what joy and optimism is — I would love to be present as a real-time fan for another adventure like that. With how much I know about them and how much I care, they’re my #2 for sure. I love those flightless fucks!!

Vancouver Canucks. So I started watching live NHL hockey games last summer around I think game 2 of the Habs’ first round series against the Flyers (I saw Price’s “Miracle Save” on twitter while following along bc I was intrigued by the fact that they made it through the play-ins, and was like “OKAY NOW I GOTTA SEE THIS SHIT LIVE”). That was really fun! Riiiight up until the Habs got eliminated. :/ And I was like “well, shit. I’m enjoying this hockey thing too much to stop now. who else is still around I can root for?” And the Canucks were the last Canadian team still in it, and there was buzz about their miraculous first-round win but also uncertainty I believe Markstrom had *just* got injured. So I started watching, ended up witnessing the Bubble Demko Miracle unfold live, had my heart charmed off me by “whatever the hell those two lil blonde bitches have going on” and a delightful underdog story, and here I am. Hitched to the Canuck wagon whether I enjoy it or not. Here for whatever happens! (Doesn’t hurt that I love me some Elton John too 😉)

Washington Capitals. I’m a person who is more likely to be really engaged with a team that has super interesting personalities, characters, and narratives around it — and my GOD are the Capitals good for that. I absolutely definitely started down this road with that mic’d up video from the 2018 final of Ovi telling Nicke “after me, I give it to you baby!” re: the Cup. Like I can pinpoint that there was a day I saw that for the first time in a gifset, squinted at the screen, said “you’re fucking with me...”, went to youtube, watched it be for reals, and was like “well. now I need to know more about ALL this.” After watching games and learning more about the team, I really enjoy the Caps’ “big dumb found family of stone-cold total weirdos” energy, their fun collective chemistry, their Cup story, etc. And oh BOY the fandom is fun during game lb’s! I love all the in-jokes and player nicknames, our delight with the quirks of our colourful wonderful broadcast crew (shoutout Wine Uncles & Co), the way we cheer for record-breaking milestones like they’re a first NHL goal! Being a fan of the Caps AND the Pens can be a bit awkward sometimes, and the team certainly has its blemishes, but my heart is big enough for two Metro teams for sure, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Toronto Maple Leafs. So like, as you can imagine from my previously described upbringing in Hab Land, “haha Leafs suck” is a punchline I have long been familiar with and trained to recite. I got a solid 3 days of laughter and entertainment out of the whole Zamboni Driver Saga last February, oh boy did I ever. But the thing is.... I have the Leafs to thank for the fact that I watch hockey now. See, the entire reason I started paying proper attention to the playoff bubble last summer was because one day, I happened to see the phrase “WHAT IS HAPPENING” trending at 16k tweets on twitter, and clicked on it like “huh?”. Turns out the Leafs were in the middle of their miraculous 3-minute comeback against Columbus and the country was losing its mind. And when they won, I was like “huh... the Zamboni Team is doing THIS??? I may have to start paying attention to this playoffs thing, because if they go All The Way I think that might be the only thing funnier than the Zamboni Incident”. Aaaaand when they immediately lost the next game and were eliminated I was like “lol, sounds about right” and was then immediately distracted by news of the Habs winning the play-in round. So then I spent several months watching playoffs and forgetting about the Leafs. And then one day in early October, looking on YouTube for more hockey to watch after the playoffs ended, I stumbled across something called a Hat Pick, and boy I actually enjoyed this shouty man’s sense of humour and takes on the game... and then when I ran out of Hat Picks and Dangits I watched some Trade Trees, which pulled back the curtain on the business side of the game... and then I discovered LFR’s, which were good background noise for doing tasks... and then I was recommended the episode of the Steve Dangle Podcast about Mitch Marner and The List... and next thing I knew I was listening to more of this podcast, because I found Steve and the guys to be insightful and funny and there was no hockey to watch, and I was trepidatious about accidentally stumbling into the more toxic corners of hockey fandom if I branched out for other content... and, well. If you spend enough hours listening to people passionately analyze every facet of a team, shout and cheer over a team, make fun of that team, nearly cry over that team... it’s really REALLY hard to not start to care about it. Leafs analysis was basically how I learned most of what I’ve learned about hockey this past year! And kudos to Steve and Adam and Jesse, their passionate investment in the Leafs and great content has got ME invested in the Leafs mainly because I want to see things go well for them. I want Charlie Brown to kick the football! I love a triumph over adversity story! Also, I think if the Leafs did Do The Thing it would basically be the combination of “Cubs win the World Series” and “Raptors are the champs” and I wanna watch the city of Toronto go fully apeshit from a safe distance. I don’t adore many their individual players as much as I do some other teams higher on this list, and I still laugh far too much when things go super comically impossibly badly for them, but I am actually pulling for the Leafs!! I want to see it all pay off for them. I want them to go all the way. Gimme that “LEAFS WIN!!!” (Unless it’s against someone above them on this list lol)

[hoedameron]

lately there has been a lot of discussion about the frustrations us gifmakers have about the huge disparity of the reblog to like ratio. thought I haven’t really found the right words to express how I feel, I do better with pictures.

I’ve been on tumblr since 2011. back then, we didn’t really curate how our blogs were presented. we simply reblogged what we enjoyed. it was messy and sloppy but there was so much content to be shared with each other. liking a post was rarely used and reserved for posts you wanted to find later after reblogging it or something that was for you to privately enjoy. this resulted in posts having a ton of reblogs with not that many likes. the posts below are fandom gifsets from 2012-2014

then it seems like in either 2016 or 2017, a lot of that type of interaction declined significantly. though I’ve been around for a very long time, I never actually understood why there was such a steep decline in interactions. if I didn’t want something on my main blog, I just made a sideblog (aka this very blog is my sideblog since 2011) so more of my “silly” content could be. I still enjoyed these posts and still reblogged them, using my likes as a bookmark keeper. but, yeah, some turn of the century phenomena happened overnight and it’s like everyone became self-aware that the “golden era” of tumblr was cringe and didn’t want to repeat the past. is that what it was? is?

now here are the notes of gifsets from recent 2018-2021

see how SIGNIFICANTLY less reblogs there are and more likes?? I really don’t understand how in a matter of YEARS it could be so drastic. we had so much content going around back then because it wasn’t about notes, it was about sharing what we love. and now, so many gifmakers are getting burnt out to the point of leaving, going under appreciated and their work not being reached to many people. we spend countless hours on photoshop, sometimes struggling with photoshop because it decides to fuck up in the middle of a project. there is so much that goes into gifmaking like t*rrenting, grabbing the video clips, cropping, sharpening, COLORING, subtitles if applicable and that’s just a BASIC gif. there have been beautiful sets with different templates that I just know took HOURS in photoshop.

so, when it comes to the argument of “I don’t have to reblog anything”, you’re right. you don’t have to. we aren’t forcing you to do anything. we are simply asking you to consider the amount of work we put into our set and if you enjoyed it enough to put a like on it, then you should consider reblogging it so that your followers can also enjoy it. with this website actively making being a gifmaker hard as hell, the least you can do is make our days by reblogging it with some tags. those tags make my heart so warm and make me feel good about my creations. it’s the people who reblog and tag with commentary who make gifmaking worth while because without those interactions, I would’ve stopped creating a long time ago. hell, I don’t even make as much content as others do like can you imagine how they feel?? please, help us out by reblogging our work. it takes the same amount of time to reblog as it does to like the post. we do all this for free because it’s only just a fun hobby but sometimes it feels like going to work. we just want to know that we are doing great and that other people like them as well.

sometimes creating content for myself can be so...party of one with nobody to celebrate with. it’s not fun if there aren’t others to share the fruit of my labor with.

[raven-m-3]

The Tumblr crushes thing has made me feel so warm and fuzzy and happy inside. I love you ALL and I want to take a quick moment to thank all my dears who tagged me in this. 

You are darling beautiful children and I am so glad we are mutuals and I adore each of you and I’m so glad I know you. 

I want to spread the love and tag my crushes too, but I am terrified of missing someone, and I could easily spend 3 hours writing that list, because I have so many damn crushes. 

So I wanted to quickly say that if I know you-- if we’ve spoken personally, or followed each other, or interacted before-- I likely have a crush on you. And even if we haven’t, there’s still a good chance I have a crush on you. 😚

I have a crush on all you fic writers. Y’all are amazing and brave, and seeing your updates can turn the shittiest of my days around.

I have a crush on all the Reylos who make edits and gifsets. I know how hard you work to fill our dash with beautiful images and GIFs.

I have a crush on you Reylo artists. You pour your talent into creating visuals that breathe life into my headcanons and deepest wishes. 

God do I have a crush on you meta writers.  You guys have watered my crops and made analysis / debate feel inspiring for me again. 

I have a crush on every one of my followers, and everyone who reblogs / comments on my work. It’s gotten harder for me to keep on top of my comments, but I appreciate every one of you, and I love reading your thoughts. 

I have a crush on you shit posters. Bless you for making me forget the world and crack up.

I have a crush on those of you who cheerlead and support other content creators’ work. The fandom runs because of you. Your enthusiasm and encouragement is everything.

Our fandom isn’t perfect, but I’m amazed by the depth of the talent, diversity, open-mindedness, supportiveness, and hilariousness I’ve found here. This fandom has entertained and excited me during very stressful time in my career, and I will always be grateful for that. 

 TL; DNR: I have a huge crush on all of you! 😚

[whydontweband]

A Beautiful Thing (A Jack Avery Imagine)

Masterlist

*Requested by and dedicated to: @love-giselle*

Feel free to request imagines, fics, gifsets etc. via my AskBox or DM’s.

Have a lovely day!

Word Count: 3334

Description: He’s a small-time musician, performing a local gig with his bandmates, in the process of making it big.

She’s an aspiring dancer with an affinity for walking the streets of downtown after everyone in the citie’s gone to sleep.

Everyone, that is, but him.

 Leah

      The line of street lamps casting pools of iridescent golden light against the sidewalk was comforting in a way, somehow far more peaceful than the world appears during the daytime. I’m not sure why it is, really, that I prefer the night- I suppose it’s always been that way. There’s something so honest, and magical about a place, after the people, and the sun, and the noise have gone to sleep. Maybe it’s because my dance recitals and performances have always been in the evening, after the sun has faded from the sky. Maybe it’s the way the stars appear against a backdrop of jet black atmosphere, showing their true selves after a long day of being blocked out by the sun. Maybe there’s just something peaceful about a city at night- the quietude, the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you’re the only person left in the whole world. I think that thought scares most people, but it’s never bothered me. Maybe that’s why most people prefer the daytime- where it’s safe, and busy, and there are no stars to watch or ponder on what it must be like out there. For me, it’s never been a competition- I’d take a thousand nights if I could have it my way- to walk through a quiet town, and dance in deserted streets, and stop and stare at the sky for as long as I pleased, without a single soul watching me, wondering what I might be doing, staring at the sky. Because the truth is, I don’t really have a reason, some things are just beautiful- and it seems like an injustice to not appreciate beautiful things.

    I stared down at the watch on my wrist. The time read: 10:24pm. I smiled softly to myself as I stepped out the front door of the quaint, two-story brick house, on the corner of Maple and 6th street- the house I’d lived my entire life in. Tying the laces on my black and white Adidas sneakers and zipping my mint green jogger’s jacket halfway up, I took a deep breath, and began to walk. Downtown was only a few blocks from the house, and though it was a big metropolis, we had a variety of things to make our small city appreciable by most everyone. There was, of course, a handful of shops through Main Street, The Grant Hill movie theater, the Institute of Art and Dance (where I spent the majority of my time, other than school), Acorn Park (adorable; squirrel filled), Metro Park (not-so adorable; trash filled) a small B&B, and The Randolph House (the place where comedy acts, local play productions, and small-time musicians would perform. As I neared the center of town, I could hear elated cheers and screaming come from a couple blocks down, clearly creating a far greater cacophony of adolescent hysteria than I had anticipated for this hour of the evening. I sighed, running a hand through my obsidian colored hair as I made a hard-right turn, making my way down a side street that avoided the bustle that was congregating around The Randolph House. “There must be some up-and-coming musician playing there if it’s causing this much of a scene” I thought to myself as I stuffed my hands in my pockets, moving swiftly so as not to be held up by late night traffic. I crossed the street that teed with Main Street, glancing over my shoulder slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of a crowd of girls probably around my age, flooding the streets and waving their arms uproariously as a handful of figures, five maybe, waved and smiled, before being hustled into a car. I thought, for a split second, that I caught the eyes of one of the distant figures, but it was dark out, and I could have been mistaken. I shook my head as the car headed down the road, only driving a couple blocks before turning down the road that lead towards the town B&B. So they were staying the night? I shrugged softly to myself, side-stepping out of the way of the teenage girl mob as I made my way down a side street, and finally out of sight from the overenthusiastic crowd.

Jack

      The post-show backstage party had just ended, and the boys and I were quickly being rushed to the front entrance of the building, moving at a snail’s pace through the crowd of people who’d stayed to see us after the show. I smiled widely, hugging and signing as fast as I could manage, all the while body guards ushered us towards the car waiting for us outside.

“I love you, Jack!” One girl screamed. I grinned, giving her a quick hug.

“I love you too! Thank you so much for coming to the show tonight! You mean the world to us!” She smiled so wide I wondered if her mouth might fall off as she continued to scream, reluctantly letting go as we continued to move towards the exit. Truthfully, I wished I could spend hours with every single fan, but there just wasn’t the time. If we spent hours with fans tonight, we could be risking making our connecting flights to the next stop on our tour, and if we did that, we wouldn’t make the next booking- and that would mean we wouldn’t be able to see those fans at all. I meant every word I said to these amazing people here tonight- they do mean the world to us. They make it possible for us to live our dreams, and that’s something we could never repay them for. Smiling and waving, the boys and I reluctantly made it outside, surrounded by more concert goers adorning Why Don’t We t-shirts and baseball hats, and clenching photographs for us to sign. As we said our final goodbyes to everyone, I turned my gaze to the street in front of us. For an instantaneous moment, my eyes accidentally fell on those of a small figure, just a little ways down the road. She had stopped for a moment, glancing our way, and it felt as though she saw me, but maybe I was mistaken. I furrowed my brows together in confusion, seeing as that I didn’t remember seeing her in the venue during the show. Her mint green jacket reflected the light of the street lamp, her dark hair blowing ever so softly in the breeze. Everything seemed frozen for a moment- and just like that, she had disappeared. I blinked a few times, to make sure I hadn’t been seeing things, before shaking my head and frowning as I made my way into the car.

“Thank you so much, everyone! You’ve all been so amazing! We love you all!” Corbyn shouted out the window as the crowd went ballistic one last time, their cheers fading as we drove away from the venue- and despite every amazing moment I’d had performing tonight, my mind was still lingering on the mysterious figure.

    After we’d arrived at the B&B and settled down for the evening, most all the boys exhausted from the performance, I sat idly beside the large bay window overlooking the town. Sighing, I ran a hand through my tangled mop of curls, changing into a pair of black Nike sweatpants and a white t-shirt, which faired far more comfortably than my previous torn black skinny jeans and long-sleeved bright yellow HUF sweatshirt that I’d worn during the show. As I sat down in front of the window, walking the flickering street lamps, and the trees rustling serenely in the wind, I noticed a dash of mint green cross the nearby street. My eyes perked up, suddenly hyper-aware of the surrounding before them as I squinted to make out what the figure was doing. She lulled in the street, leniently twirling in a manner that was anything but unintentional. Was she dancing? It was hard to tell from the distance, and I had absolutely no idea what compelled me to do what I did next, but I couldn’t help myself. I threw on a pair of sneakers and a grey Adidas hoodie, slipping my phone into my pocket, and locking my room door behind me, being ever so silent as I made my way down to the lobby, and out into the brisk night air. I was alone, completely un-supervised, in a strange new place, inquiring about the activity of a perfect stranger. Was this just a little bit insane? Most definitely. But as I took my first steps out onto the cool pavement of the foreign road, I felt completely and utterly freed, and I knew there was no turning back.

Leah

      Lost in the moment of my dance, twirling and spinning and leaping through the flooding lights of the street lamps and the moonbeams against closed shop windows, I was completely entranced. Dance had always been the thing that took me to an entirely different world, a world where everything was beautiful, and elegant, and I could dance under the light of the moon forever. I hadn’t bothered playing music in my earbuds to dance to, I found it far more tranquil putting in silent earbuds, and dancing to the possibility of music, rather than it’s actuality. As I danced throughout the streets, completely undisturbed and at peace with the world, I spotted a hooded figure standing at the edge of the street, the shadow cast down eerily against the pavement. I stopped immediately, gasping as I pulled my earbuds from my ears. The figure looked to the ground, and removed his hood, smiling softly and sending an awkward half-hearted wave in my direction, so as to establish that he wasn’t actually a psychopath. I raised a skeptical eyebrow, waving back as I took a few steps closer. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was the boy from The Randolph House. The one I’d thought, for just a moment, I’d locked eyes with. He really had seen me…and now he was here. In the middle of a deserted, empty street. Though the situation seemed anything but hilarious, I couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

“Hi, I uhmm…I’m Jack. Jack Avery.” The boy called at a substantial tone, so as not to come too close and startle me. I nodded slowly, swinging my arms gently at my sides as I was unsure what to do.

“Leah.” I responded. The boy smiled softly, a smile that, in an instantaneous moment, made him the most trusting person in the world.

“What about your last name?” He spoke, quasi-teasingly. I smiled slightly, shrugging as I took a step closer.

“I don’t give my last name to strangers who watch me in the middle of the night.” I retorted. Jack shook his head, chuckling as he buried his face in his hands.

“I really didn’t mean to come across as a serial killer, though I realize now that’s…100% what it seems like.” Jack laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh along with him as he came up to me. I extended a cautious hand, which he happily shook.

“I just, I saw you earlier…after the concert. I dunno, you just looked so…”

“Odd?” Jack smiled at my suggestion, shaking his head.

“Alluring. Kind of…mysterious. And then later, at the B&B…I saw you in the street out here, all alone…dancing. I had to see for myself I guess.” I frowned playfully, a smile breaking through my face, as suddenly I was less deterred by the fact that my night of solitude had now drastically changed.

“Well, thanks…I guess.” I murmured, a small tint of color evidently appearing on my cheeks.

“So, I take it you’re a local?” Jack inquired. I hadn’t planned on him staying past our terribly awkward introductions, but somehow he managed to keep the conversation going. I nodded.

“Born and raised. I take it you’re not a local.” I smiled. Jack shook his head, grinning slightly.

“No, I live in L.A. now. I’m here doing a show with my band...we, ahh, we head out in the morning.” So he had been a musician.

“So, what…you’re a Rockstar?” I laughed inquisitively. Jack chuckled at this, shaking his head furiously.

“No, no, no…no. I, uhmmm, the guys and I- we’re not exactly rockstars. Not yet, anyway.” I nodded slowly, slowly beginning to fall into step together, though I had no idea how or why.

“So, that’s the dream, then? Rockstar?” Jack shrugged, tucking his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

“I guess. If I’m being honest, I just want to make people happy…or, or sad. Or angry….I want to make people feel something, you know? If I can make music that makes people feel something, that’s really the dream.” I nodded softly to myself, reminded of my own goals to become a dancer on Broadway.

“That’s a pretty selfless dream.” Jack shrugged.

“It’s not really all that selfish if I find joy in it.” I smiled, nodding.

“I guess not.” The wind picked up, as did our consistency in pace.

 Jack

      As she spoke, there was something so different, and unique, and magical about her- the girl I’d found dancing in the streets at midnight. She was petite in stature, maybe only a few inches over 5 feet, and her dark ebony skin shimmered in the moonlight. She was some kind of mesmerizing, or enchanting, or maybe both…she was an anomaly. I smiled, falling into a rhythmic kind of sync as we walked slowly through the dark streets of a town I would never really know.

“So…dancing?” I inquired. Leah nodded softly.

“It’s, kinda like, my favorite thing. She laughed, zipping up her mint green jacket ever-so-slightly.

“You’re good, you know. I mean, I’m sure you know I just…ya know- in my unprofessional opinion, I think you’re really talented and-” As I stuttered through my sentence, I found that Leah was only laughing, shoving me playfully as I began to feel her falls crumbling.

“Thank you, Jack.” She finally uttered, blushing softly.

“Hey, do you mind if we sit? Just for a bit...I shouldn’t stay out too long, I have a flight pretty early tomorrow.” Leah nodded, choosing not to make commentary on the fact that we were two very different people, from very different worlds, who are only crossing paths for a split second, a blip in the time of the universe. Yet, somehow, out of all the times that have been, and all the times to be- we were both here in this moment, crossing. We took a seat on a nearby park bench at the edge of pleasant looking park, and she proceeded to tilt her head up to watch the stars.

“I used to love stargazing.” I added cautiously, a part of me terrified that if I spoke again, it might disrupt the universe, and prove that I was, in fact, sitting out here alone. Yet I spoke, and she only turned to me, her coffee colored eyes hiding flecks of gold within them, and I thought that was beautiful.

“Why don’t you stargaze anymore?” She inquired. I shrugged.

“It’s nearly impossible to see the stars in L.A. I guess, after a while, you learn to live without.” Leah nodded, a kind of nod that doesn’t really comprehend what you’re saying, but doesn’t want to press.

“Well, I’m sorry. That you had to learn to live without, I mean. That seems like a terrible thing to live without. Some things are just beautiful, you know? And it seems like such an injustice to not appreciate beautiful things.”

Leah

      Jack was silent a moment longer, his hazel eyes glued to the sky, as I added:

“I come out here every night. I’m…not sure why that’s relevant information, I just…thought I’d mention it. I come out here, after everything’s dark, and quiet, and still, and I watch the stars. And I dance in the streets, and I’ve never once met someone else out here. Let alone, someone who’s-”

“Dangerously good looking? Suave? Downright sex-appeal?” I burst out laughing, shaking my head.

“What!? No!” I laughed, hiccupping as Jack grinned from ear to ear.

“I was gonna- hiccup!- say that you’re- hiccup!- honest. Everything about you. I admire that.” I cleared my throat, subduing the hiccups from laughter as Jack smiled, shaking his head.

“Well, thank you.” I nodded, giving his shoulder an empathetic pat.

“If it helps, I do think you’re pretty good looking too. Maybe even suave.” I murmured, blushing intensely as Jack’s cheeks turned a bright shade of fuchsia.

“Not sex-appeal?” He joked, as I laughed, shoving him lightly from his spot beside me on the park bench.

“Don’t push it, stranger.” Jack smiled, staring down at the ground and shaking his head slowly, as though in that moment reminded of the fact that we really knew nothing about one another. Truthfully, maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe, it wasn’t meant to matter. Maybe, in these fleeting moments of life, there are times when it matters less what you say, and matters more what you mean.

“I should get going…” Jack murmured reluctantly. I knew he’d have to leave, and I didn’t plan on stopping him. There was just a small, small part of me, that wondered why it was he wandered into my life. I had no idea.

“Dance with me.” I blurted thoughtlessly. Jack glanced at me hurriedly, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“One dance.” I clarified, standing from my spot on the park bench and extending my hand.

“I’m not very good at this kind of dance.” He uttered shyly. I smiled, more confident this time as I waved it off.

“It doesn’t matter. That’s the beauty of dancing at night time- there’s no one here to see you mess up.” Jack laughed, shaking his head before taking my hand in his and standing. Placing one hand on my waist, and using his other to take my hand in his, we swayed gently in time to the beating of our hearts. There wasn’t any music, but it was perfect nonetheless.

    After the dance seemed to slow to a reluctant end, I sighed, glancing down towards the ground. Jack slid a gentle finger underneath my chin, lifting it up slightly, as he leaned forward, kissing my forehead under the moonlight. Smiling, I giggled.

“So, time to head back, then.” I muttered slowly. Jack nodded.

“You know, I could give you my number, or we could-” But before he could finish his train of thought, I’d cut him off.

“No, that’s ok. I think I’d rather remember this night, preserved in history forever, as a perfect night.” Jack smiled, nodding as though he completely understood the nature of our relationship.

“Safe travels, Jack Avery.” I added smugly, teasing him as he chuckled, saluting me in jest as he began to walk backwards away from me. As he continued to walk down the deserted street, his eyes never failing to leave mine, I shook my head, grinning as I folded my arms in perplexity.

“What’re you doing, Jack?” I asked. He smiled, stopping for a brief moment, in the center of a quiet road, in the middle of a quiet town, in the midst of a quiet world.

“Some things are just beautiful- and it seems like an injustice to not appreciate beautiful things.” He spoke, loud enough so I could catch his words on the current of brisk air they were riding upon, as he smiled one final time, before turning away, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his sweatpants, and making his way to the edge of the street, where I watched him until he turned, and finally disappeared.

Smiling tenderly to myself, I nodded, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my mint green jacket, and walking with a lightness in my step I’d never previously realized I possessed.

We were beautiful things, him and I. And neither time nor space could ever truly take that from us.

The End

[codependentsamanddean]

5 years of Supernatural - How it changed my life

I was reading the Family Don’t End With Blood book, and I remembered that this week will be 5 years since I started watching SPN. Yes, I remember the day, it was July 15th, 2012. 

I thought that to celebrate this mark, I’d write my own story about how Supernatural has changed my life, inspired by the book. It probably will be long so I understand if you skip it lol.

I was looking for a new show to watch, I was currently following a handful of shows but I wanted something else. I knew about Supernatural because I was already on Tumblr even though I had only a personal blog where I reblogged random stuff and had like 100 followers or less. I saw gifsets from the show here and there, and I remember thinking “this show must be cool. It looks like these brotjhers have a nice bond”. Also, I have been a fan of Jared Padalecki ever since 2004 and I saw him in New York Minute, so it was another reason to try it. To sum it up, I watched 7 seasons (the show had only 7 seasons back then) in one month, and by the end of it I was addicted. 

Lemme just say something before I continue. I am that kind of person who becomes obsessed with something only to not give a single shit about it one month later. So I thought that what was gonna happen with SPN as well, I’d fall in love with it but it was gonna go away soon like everything that came before. But that wasn’t what happened. 

I got more and more in love with the show and those boys, tjhe story of those brothers. And if I already adored Jared, I started loving him even more, at the same time I got to know who was that gorgeous Jensen Ackles. I learned how special the relationship between them in real life was as well. My tumblr slowly became almost 100% Supernatural, and then one day I saw a blog made to spread the word that Jensen hated Jared. I got so fucking mad reading that, it was the turning point for me. That same day I created a new Tumblr, and the url was j2loveeachother. I wanted to show how the boys actually loved each other very much. I was into the show for about 4 months by then, and I already knew. And little did I know how the decision of making this Tumblr would change so much in my life.  

When I entered this place, this fandom, with this blog I felt instantly at home, like I belonged here. I have a lot of internet friends, I made some good friends back in 2008 because we were all fans of an American Idol winner, and we’re still friends to this day, almost 10 years later. So I enjoy meeting people online even though it sucks that most of the times we’re far away. 

In the beginning of 2013, a couple of months after making the blog, I was put in the same list as another SPN blog by one of my mutuals, as people who loved Sam. I followed that blog and me and the girl started messaging each other here on Tumblr. That was Karri. in about 10 days we “got married” on tumblr and became “wifeys”, which we still are today. We became close friends, the kind who talk almost everyday about things that go beyond the fandom. Other people were added to the equation and god I met so many amazing people. Some of them are long gone and that makes me sad not knowing what happened to them since they left their blogs behind. But new ones arrived and that’s the beauty of it. How many amazing people I met here, but it was sad that everyone was waaay too distant, specially since I live in Brazil and most people are in the US (Karri in California). I remember thinking, will we ever meet someday?

There was also the matter of going to a convention. I remember vividly one day, after Vegascon 2013, one of my mutuals posted a beautiful J2 op she took with them. I was starting to get familiar with conventions, and I remember looking at that pic and thinking “that is so fucking amazing, but I’ll never ever have that.” The cons were in the US and I am thousands of kilometers away, so no there was no way. And that made me so sad, because I really wanted to go, I wanted to be able to have that experience. I wanted to tell Jared how much I love him, how much he means to me, I wanted to be able to meet him face to face and also Jensen, it was so unfair that I wasn’t able to go if I loved the show and them so fucking much. 

In october of 2013, I had a dream. It was like one day after Chicon, a lot of tumblr girls had gone there, and I dreamed that Karri and I were there, and it was pretty amazing. I woke up feeling sad because it wasn’t real, and that night I told Karri this on Skype. I don’t know exactly how it started, but eventually we were like “what if we went to Chicon 2014?” I was gonna start working a couple months after that, I would have some money to go. She hasn’t been to any cons by then as well, so it would be the first time to both of us. We got excited with the prospect, we had one year to make that happen, to be at Chicon in october of 2014. She wanted to put a counter on our blogs right away but I didn’t want to jinx it, we literally had nothing. She did it anyway. I remember going to bed like “that’s almost impossible, I don’t think we’ll be able to pull it off.”

On October 22th of 2014, almost one year after that conversation, I boarded on a plane from São Paulo to Chicago for my first SPN convention. Remember how I wondered if I was ever gonna meet Karri?

remember how I thought, about one and a half year earlier, how I’d never have gorgeous J2 op like that one ever, and how unfair it was?

going to Chicon 2014 was so incredibly important to me for many reasons. I did something I thought I wasn’t gonna be able to, I set up a plan and step by step, I conquered it. I finally attended a SPN convention, which was even more amazing than I imagined. I told Jared in person how much I love him, I got to hug these two man and take this amazing picture, I couldn’t hold back my tears when I found my op among all the others and saw how perfect it was. I finally met Karri in person, which I thought was too hard and we had an amazing time together. I visited Chicago, which was one of my 3 dream cities. 

Leaving Illinois was hard. When Karri and I were on the train from Chicago to Rosemont on our last day, to catch our flights on a few hours, I lay my head on her shoulder and cried looking outside the window. I didn’t even know when I’d see her again and I was so incredibly sad it was all coming to an end. I arrived back home exactly one year after the conversation Karri and I had. I remember taking the lanyard out of my suitcase and crying so much. We had done it, and it was too incredible to even put into words. 

I thought that was going to be my only con. But later that year I knew that wouldn’t be possible. On New Year of 2015, I told Karri I wanted to attend a con in 2016, and she needed to come with me. We debated a lot where we should go, and I was convinced to go to a city I never imagined visiting, by two friends who I also wanted to meet. So in August of 2016, I boarded another plane to Minneapolis, to attend Minncon 2016. and if at Chicon Karri and I were pretty much by ourselves, at Minncon I met so many other amazing people. People who live across the world and who I would never have met if it wasn’t for this show.

My dream op came true and Jared gave me a piggyback ride:

And I also got to witness firsthand how incredibly human and caring this man is. It was the first time I saw Jared after AKF and all that happened to him in 2015, and this time I went to get his autograph crying bc I was too overwhelmed by all of this, by him, and also because I didnt know if I’d ever see him again. He entwined his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand, winking at me. My heart melted.

I had a fucking amazing time in Minneapolis. Not only because of the con, also for the people I was there with. On our last night, after the con was over, me and the girls went to the pub right next to our hotel to eat and talk, there was so much laughter and happiness. I knew how much I would miss that while I was still there. 

To me, Minncon would be my last con. But a few days after the con, I was still in the US, in NYC in vacation, and Karri began convincing me to go to New Orleans in 2017 for another con, since Heather and some other girls were going to. And how could I say no? How can I stay behind and watch my fav people have fun at a con without me? So in a little more than 3 months, on Oct. 23rd, I’m getting on a plane to New Orleans, to experience all of this again for the third time. 

Before I went to Chicon, i was afraid to tell people why I was going to Chicago, I was afraid they’d say it was stupid, a waste of money. But I got so much support it surprised me. Even my boss encouraged me to go when I asked for some days off, I never hid from her where I was going. She started watching SPN this year because of me and now she wants to go too. I know some people may think it’s unecessary to spend all this money to go to conventions for a tv show, specially 3 times when I could have gone to just one, but I don’t care. It’s what makes me happy, I get to spend an amazing time with amazing people this show brought me. And I can’t wait to spend even more amazing moments this year. Because of Supernatural, I got to meet people I would never meet otherwise, and I got to visit places I probably wouldn’t if it wasn’t for the show. Supernatural gave me so much, it literally changed the course of my life. 

I also discovered a new talent, I found out I can write stories, after reading so many J2 fanfics I tried to write my own fics, supported by my awesome friends, and now I can write a story that has over 100k words. Not only that, I can write all of that in english. I’m a native portuguese speaker. Supernatural has improved my english skills as well. 

I don’t have a sad story to tell, Supernatural didn’t save my life or ended my depression. Thankfully I don’t have those problems. But Supernatural changed my life. Literally. It changed many events that happened after |I started watching it. It introduced me to a whole new world. I have friends on different parts of the world because of it, and now I know it’s not impossible to meet them. Saying goodbye to them is so hard, I have cried my eyes out at airports twice, but as I was hugging Karri goodbye in Minneapolis, we realized it wasn’t the last time we’d see each other. It might take some time, but we can do it. The world is big but with effort, we can get anywhere. So many good memories from the past 5 years happened because of Supernatural, and today I can’t imagine how my life was before that. I made friends, I visited new places, I met my favorite actor in the whole world. All because I decided to watch this show I kept seeing on Tumblr. Even long after the show ends and we’re no longer here, the impact it had on me will remain. I know these friendships will stay, as well as the amazing memories I’ll carry throughout my life. I hope I can tell my kids someday if I have them, how much this simple tv show changed me. And I’m gonna encourage them to go after what they love, like my mom did to me when I first told her, afraid as fuck, that I wanted to go to Chicago (a ten hour flight) *just* for a supernatural convention. And she was like “go for it”. Little did I know a small decision on July 15th of 2012 would have such a huge impact in my life.

Thank you Supernatural for the road so far. And for the road yet to come. 

[sherlockprettydamngayholmes]

But this was our show...

(Disclaimer: This is going to be rather long. Sorry for the negativity)

I know I'm late to the party but I need to get this out. 

I hate series four. Not just TFP, not just Mary's redemption arc...I hate the whole thing. The last days I spent delving deep into old tags, fic and started to rewatch the show and I only got sad. So fucking sad. I remember joining fandom back in June, how it helped me crawl out of my shell and talk to people (sorry for not reaching out, I haven't forgot about you lovelies). I remember spending nights reading meta, which brought me from reluctantly shipping Johnlock to a full blown TJLCer. I remember watching the show over and over, at first on my own, later surrounded by amazing people from all over the world at Steph's watchalongs. I remember following the news at the sdcc, and screaming over 'love conquers all' and our first teaser trailer. I remember setlock and all the funny exchanges with Arwel. I remember Sherlocked and watching the GBBO finale just to see two new frames cut into the teaser. I remember being super excited about every new TJLCE video. I remember how I couldn't listen to the radio because EVERYTHING was Johnlock and my heart beat faster. I remember "Tell them your darkest secret"-"I love you". I remember all those countdowns.

And S4 aired...

Watching TST, I can recall at least three points when I screamed, because I was sure "NOW! Now they're going to reveal that Mary is a villain." but it never happened...but at least she was dead. Right? Right?! The ending killed me, Sherlock's session with Ella and the "Anyone" scene. It didn't feel like Sherlock, but we would have two more episodes to explain the mess of TST and I just needed to process this much info.

I already knew beforehand that TLD would be my favorite episode, simply cause I love the story in canon. My first reaction when I saw Mary: "I knew it! She holds John hostage, she threatens him, she's evil, she's- what the hell?!" The episode moved on and finally the writing and cinematography felt like MY show again. I yelled at my screen as John beat Sherlock, I didn't recognize this man, but I was sure there was an explanation. There had to be. But I was blown away by the hug™, and called Moffat out for bringing Irene in. All in all I was pretty much satisfied with the outcome and couldn't wait for the last episode. I was so certain.

And now I have to say, that week, wow it was one of the best times ever. Sherlock Live giving us Shermit, what a gem...Then came the bfi screening on a Thursday and the disappointment. But we're not TJLC for no reason. This couldn't be the actual version, "doctored footage", they must have cut the kiss. We discovered "Clue" and guys, I never had so much fun in my life. No one could have convinced me that this wasn't what they were doing. Only topped by the leaks, after hours of arguing with myself whether I should spoil myself in Russian, I decided: Fuck it, I don't wanna miss out all the fun and memes. Oh what a blessing it was, when I still believed that this was some sort of weird joke by Mofftiss. I never laughed so much watching an episode of Sherlock. God I'm thankful I joined in, at least I had as much fun as possible until TFP aired.

And it aired. I wasn't devastated or angry or anything at first. I just couldn't believe it. Apart from all that queerbaiting and misogyny and very important issues this series carried...I just hated Eurus, we didn't need another Holmes sibling. You think Sherlock is the cleverest man in Britain? Wait til you see Mycroft! But wait who's that? It's Eurus and she apparently has an IQ of 450! No. I almost murdered them when I saw what they did to Victor Trevor. They really had to no-homo out of this by creating this 5 years old dog-boy, who no one ever talked about. Fuck this. And Mary....God Mary. Why? Was that necessary? You are cremated, woman! Human ash doesn't act like this, for fucks sake!   Oh and apparently there was a baby this series. I guess her name was Rosie. She featured.

I know I'm ranting for forever now, but I'm not done just yet. The worst thing for me is, that S4 managed to ruin the whole of S3 for me. Why? 

1. Fucking Eurus and Moriarty creating a "best of trainsounds" gifset, giving me a hard time watching TRF and TEH and actually thinking that was clever writing. 2.  Mary. What the hell was her purpose? I've never been a huge fan of her ("you are the best thing that could have possibly happened.." "I agree." ugh.) but once she was revealed as a villain I was fine with her. I love to hate characters, and oh she was perfectly evil. Amanda played her so well, so cold and ruthless. But no. After all Mary is nothing more than a badly written, fridged, female, side character sacrificing everything for some man pain. And I wonder, why write her into the show in the first place? There are so many possible ways to throw obstacles at John and Sherlock and their frankly strained relationship. So many great cases waiting to be adapted that don't involve her. 3. Mofftiss have strived from canon at all the wrong places. It always revolved around Sherlock and John, their love for each other (no matter how you want to interpret it), their intimacy, their bond. But since S3 that bond started to crack. Their relationship got one sided. "But Sherlock needed to become more human!" I hear them yell; Well here are the news: Sherlock has always been human, yes he was an arsehole, yes he was complicated and faaar from being perfect, but that makes him human. He grew with John at his side. Until he HAD to take the fall to save John's life. He suffered, was alone, tortured and he came back. He even apologized to John who treated him like shit (at least that was kinda reasonable after two years of grief). And Sherlock basically confessed his love at John's wedding, and he relapsed, suffered even more. Just to be shot by John's wife, but he comes back again, still offers to help her out. And he takes another fall by shooting Magnussen, saving John and Mary from her past. He says his last goodbye to John, almost confessing his love (again) and deciding to overdose on the plane. In which world is it fair to let this man suffer even more in S4? He didn't deserve to be pushed away by John in TST, he didn't deserve to be beaten into a bloody pulp (already in an alarming state), and he didn't deserve the psychological terror performed by his sister in TFP. 

At the end of S4 Sherlock isn't finally human. He is broken. And if there wouldn't be this ridiculous montage at the end, I'd say beyond repair.

[foxgloves-fox-love]

Self-shipping AU

Just wanted to do these questions hehe ;w;

1. What kind of blog does your f/o have? Do they selfship on main? Do they look like a regular fan? Quiet reblogs or lots of gushing? Lots of analyses of your character and your source or incoherent blabbering? Do they have a headcanon blog? Do they try to roleplay as you?

Ren is shameless and only has like one sideblog that he reserves for creative stuff. He posts everything else onto his main blog. He also gushes a lot just lots of keysmashing and talking about how cute I am, and not a lot of analyses just tons of blabbering. He posts all his headcanons on his main blog and frequently tags pictures with our ship name if they remind him of us.

2. Do they prefer selfshipping by inserting themselves into your source, or by daydreaming about you in their own little / personal world, or by imagining you by their side during their daily life?

He definitely daydreams about me in his own little world especially before bed and also imagines me by his side during his daily life. He would probably insert himself into my source as well bc he's not satisfied with where he is in his life. He just wants to do everything.

3. What’s their self insert like? Is their s/i literally them? Is it basically them but with just a few changes - to be more like the person they’d like to be, or to “fit in” your source better? Is their s/i totally OP or extra or more realistic? Is it an OC that’s totally different from them?

His s/i is literally him. He doesn't change parts of himself to fit into my source or to be more like he wants to be because he uses self-shipping as coping and wants me to love him for him.

4. Do they spend more time on wikipedia, on your fandom wiki, on your TV tropes page? Looking for official content they might’ve missed, like fun trivia? Looking for fanart, for fics? Looking for information and details and references for fics or art or other fancontent they’re making because they want to make sure they get everything right?

He's definitely a fandom wiki kind of guy and scours the internet for content. He doesn't need to look at references that much because he has me memorized pretty easily. There are multiple looks I've gone through in "canon" and while he loves all of them and it's hard to remember all of them, he tends to stick with the one that's most currently out in canon because it makes him feel like he's living beside me.

5. Do they create anything inspired by you and/or their ship with you? Fanart? Fanfics? Gifsets? Moodboards? Edits? Songs? Dances? Crafts? Playlists? Cosplays? Do they post them (or pictures of them) online? Do they sell any merch (online, at cons, etc)? Do they make pics of their selfship in dollmakers? Do they spend hours on otp prompt generators? Do they commission art of their selfship?

He creates fanart but doesn't draw much anymore and is kind of sad about it because he misses how much he used to draw. Instead he tends to write fic and create songs and playlists. He posts his music and stuff online on his sideblog for creative stuff and doesn't sell merch when he goes to cons. Because he doesn't draw as much anymore he LOVES making us in dollmakers and picrews. He also commissions a shit ton of art for his selfship and is completely shameless about it.

6. Does your f/o have a selfship wedding with you? Do they celebrate it on their blog or more privately, with their fellow selfshipper friends? Do they make any content (like art, fics, etc) to celebrate?

He wrote a song to propose with and is waiting for anime canon to catch up to his favorite part from the manga before posting it and making a huge deal about it. When he does have the wedding he commissions a really extravagant wedding picture and has it framed and put in his room.

7. Does your f/o have fankids with you? If not, maybe pets?

We own a dog and he wants to have kids when we get married so he can cope with his anxieties of being a bad father.

8. Do your f/o and your friend’s f/o plan for double dates since their f/os (you and your friend) are from the same source? How would that go?

lmao :') idk? >w> Maybe Farz and Ren would do that...

9. If you have multiple f/os (romantic, platonic, anything), imagine them making or joining a Discord server or a group chat about you or your source. Who gushes, who shares art and fics, who analyses everything, who sends memes?

Oh god lmao. So like I was doing this for Ren, but imagining everyone in a discord server is killing me!!! Vincent would do nothing but post porn gifs and be an absolute butt and laugh at people all the time and Jack would like never talk in it except to post the occasional psychological profile of me and talk about how interesting I am every once in a blue moon. Gengar would just cry type all the time. Craig would shitpost with memes and laugh at people because he’s a dick and not actually into self-shipping and Shino would analyze EVERYTHING from the show. The people who would gush and talk the most would be Ren and Omen ;w; Ren would share his music and Omen would think it's all very interesting. Omen might even develop a crush because Ren is so interesting and Ren would be completely oblivious bc he’s guzzling that self-ship juice lmao.

10. Does your f/o have very creative ship names, or are they bad with finding tags / ship names, or do they just use regular fandom tags?

Ren likes the ship name Rae and uses that irl, but he likes to do the fun creative ones in order to tag stuff. He uses "Little Star" for it.

11. What’s your f/o like when they read / watch / play your source? Do they reread / rewatch / replay their favorite parts over and over? Do they make comments aloud? Which parts of your story made them laugh? Made them cry?

Ren gets really happy when he watches the anime because it's very relaxing. He watches his favorite parts over and over and over again until he can say the dialogue by heart. He doesn't make comments aloud but he gets super emotionally invested. His favorite parts that make him laugh are when I say goofy or dumb things and then comment on the irony and break the 4th wall. The parts that make him cry the most are any time I get hurt and start crying. When I got bullied or felt bad with my classmates or was hurt when I was very young. All of those hurt him a lot and he cried about it.

12. Do they post any videos related to your source? Like AMVs? Or reaction vids (with them reacting to your source as they read / watch / play / etc)? If your source is a game, do they make a walkthrough? Is it a perfect walkthrough, a more casual one?

He would like to make AMVs but doesn't really have editing software for it, but wants to learn! He wants to post reaction vids but is nervous about posting his face online for...reasons. lmao

13. Which of your f/os has “y/n’s husband / wife / partner” as a username online?

Ren would definitely call himself my biggest fan. He wouldn't use husband but he'd definitely use fanboy.

14. Do they have merch of you? What kind of merch? Posters? Keychains? Stickers? Stuffed toys? (And if they have a plush of you, do they kiss it and sleep with it?)

He has a plush that he cuddles and sleeps with and sometimes makes out with lmao. He also has so much merch!!! He is the type to make ita content. On Christmas he decorates the tree with stuff and has posters all over the walls. His favorites tho are figures. He looooooooves figures the most. He's constantly shelling out the big bucks for the biggest and most detailed ones because he can look at them and feel like I exist in a 3d space.

15. What kind of content do they like / make the most? Is it fluff? Angst? Hurt / comfort? (btw: imagine your f/os going to you when they need comfort, because they love you and you’re comforting to them.) Do they respect canon or do they make lots of AUs? What kind of AUs do they like?

-rubs hands together- His favorite content is hurt/comfort both with me being hurt and me hurting the other party, depending on his mood. When he gets unstable and lonely he plays out angsty situations to further his spirals. He knows it's unhealthy, but it comforts him at the same time. His favorite when he's feeling like being healthier is making irl AUs where he can play out his trauma with me as a caretaker figure or alongside him and comforting me.

16. Which of your f/os has 1341 pics of you saved on their phone / laptop? What kind of pic did they choose as their phone / laptop background? Is it a canon pic of you, or fanart, or art of their selfship with you?

Ren definitely hoards a lot of shit on his phone, he has so much content of me on it it's ridiculous. Omen kind of does the same but not nearly as much because he has multiple f/os and has to share space with them lmao. Vincent's phone is just filled with porn ok just lots of rule 34 shit but he also like doesn't have a lot of content on it because like he's just a horndog and only really gives a shit about the dirty content. Jack has pictures but not a lot because he prefers to fantasize.