#but we have to remember we're dealing with a franchise here...

[ao3topshipsbracket]

honestly I'm kinda disappointed all the popular/well known ships are gone/eliminated

the semis look kinda boring now tbh

(ps: I don't mean to hate on the ships winning. I'm sure they're winning for a reason. it's just they're all kinda unknown/not mainstream)

We're definitely surprised to see some of the highly seeded ships go down early, but personally, I think that makes the remaining matches more exciting, not less! Who doesn't love an upset, after all? But of course, with Bubbline in one half and Destiel in the other, there are definitely some significant heavy hitters still in the running!

That being said, we know we have some underdog semifinalists that people are less familiar with, so here's a brief primer on each of them!

Hualian comes from the Chinese novel Tian Guan Ci Fu, or Heaven Official's Blessing. If you've heard of Wangxian of Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed fame, TGCF comes from the same author. It is a xianxia love story about ghost kings and fallen gods. Here's the plot synopsis from IMDB:

Eight hundred years ago, Xie Lian was the Crown Prince of the Xian Le kingdom. He was loved by his citizens and was considered the darling of the world. He ascended to the Heavens at a young age; however, due to unfortunate circumstances, was quickly banished back to the mortal realm. Years later, he ascends again, only to be banished again a few minutes after his ascension. Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian ascends to the Heavens for the third time as the laughing stock among all three realms. On his first task as a god thrice ascended, he meets a mysterious demon who rules the ghosts and terrifies the Heavens, yet, unbeknownst to Xie Lian, this demon king has been paying attention to him for a very, very long time.

At #58 in the Tumblr 2023 top ship list, they're solidly middle of the pack in terms of seeding, but they did take down Buddie at #10, and Davekat of Homestuck infamy: a very impressive showing!

Sulemio hails from the latest installment in the Mobile Suit Gundam anime franchise, The Witch from Mercury; as with all Gundam series, it is a sci-fi military drama featuring giant robots and space warfare. This one happens to also feature heavy inspiration from Revolutionary Girl Utena. Official synopses seem a bit lacking, and I unfortunately don't know enough about the series to summarize it myself, but I'll link this very helpful guide that someone left in our notes!

They're the lowest seeded of our semifinalists, ranking #59 on Tumblr's 2023 top ship list, so the fact that they've taken out the top seed is truly a feat; having a rallying force with @demilypyro has certainly helped their cause (and our very busy activity feed 😅) a great deal!

Regardless of who wins the next rounds, there are very fun underdog journeys present on both sides of the bracket. Plus, it's always good to remember that polls like these are not meant to be indicators of popularity, but of passion.

[dearanakin]

trust you | anakin skywalker: episode V

Summary: You go on a mission with Cal... and Anakin. You have a task as a tech engineer, but dealing with General Grievous and his army of droids can be challenging. Ps: There's a character guest in this chapter, remember it doesn't follow the actual timeline of the franchise!!

No warnings, just vulgar language (a lot of it because it's a mission and they're all on the verge of flipping out lol)

Word count: 4.7k

*

(Y/N):

I'm not sure I even had the option to actually deny the offer Cal made. To be honest, he practically begged me and forced me to agree on going with him and his team to a trade with someone with a weird name.

Worst of it all, I had to be their tech guy for the mission. A mission led by none other than Anakin. I wish I could actually have had a choice, because I sure wasn't expecting to see his face this soon.

Especially after he literally threatened me the other day. I don't think I've ever felt this scared in my life. We all know the guy has a temper and he doesn't follow any rules. As much as we all hoped he would change through the years, it seems like it's getting worse instead.

Now I'm sitting next to Cal in his ship, while Artoo is on top of it. He seemed a little distressed, he doesn't show off his emotions a lot because he knows I get worried. But I know after what happened that day he's not getting along with Anakin.

I mean, who would at this point? He looks at you like he's about to rip your eyes out.

And I know Cal didn't want to look like he's only on this mission because of the team itself. He told me he didn't want to collaborate this time, which only made the Jedi Master walk around with a deadly look on his face.

But the redhead never felt intimidated by him in any way. Or at least he doesn't show it. As far as I know, we're heading to General Grievous' spaceship. I feel like I've heard this name before, but I can't collect it.

"So, what's the plan? Leaving me trapped in here with R2?" I ask as he maneuvers into outer pace, a concentrated look on his face as he does so.

He chuckles with dramatic concern. "You'll be looking out for us with commander Poe Dameron first" Cal explains as I nod. Who is Poe Dameron, by the way?

"He's a Jedi as well?" He shakes his head in response. "He's... not?"

Okay, that concerned me. I'm only used to being around force sensitive people, and being a human already scared me enough. Now, knowing I'm going to be around another human makes me wonder whatever happens if we get attacked.

"Nope, but he's a good Resistance's Starfighter Corps member. And a good pilot" He gives me a smile as he turns his head to face me. He can read my panic plastered all over my face and reaches out his hand to grab mine. "We're gonna need you there to break into their system".

So, we'll watch as the trade unfolds and hope for the best first. Do I agree with that? I didn't, but I had no choice but to help them.

"And if something happens, before he drops you there, he'll bring you back to Coruscant" Cal shoots his head back forward as we approach the starship.

Yeah, simple as that, right? If something happens, like, we'll just go back and live it out. Doesn't seem too tragic for me, I love the adrenaline.

Not.

We landed on a hangar, Cal preparing himself up before leaving me out here with only a Droid and a man named Poe. I hope this guy isn't a douchebag like Skywalker is, I won't be able to run away from him if I wanted to.

He gives me a small kiss on the forehead before leaving the ship, sending me a half smile before meeting the others already in formation. I watch as a brunette man walks towards from where the redhead just left and waves back to the others.

He has wavy dark hair, as well as dark brown eyes, and a stubble. Damn, this man looks fine as hell.

Poe steps in and sits down on the seat next to me, looking right up with a kind smile on his face. He finishes buckling himself before introducing himself to me, while I still glance at him like he just came out of a Disney movie.

"Hi, I'm Dameron. Well, Poe Dameron but they call me by my last name since I'm a commander" He explains, extending his hand for a greeting. I grip his hand for a few seconds before releasing.

Good handshake, firm and gentle. What am I even saying at this point?

"You're (Y/N), right?" I nod as he looks back at the panel, starting the ship.

"Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you" I say for the first time, feeling like I have never met anybody that gorgeous.

"Likewise. So, you're an engineer? You fix everything?" Poe asks, concentrating on lifting the flight.

"Well, mostly prosthetics and spacecraft. They're already too much to handle most of the time. But I can manage computers and systems as well"

"You were responsible for creating the robotic arm General Skywalker has?" He seems interested in what I do for my living and it kinda distracts me from the mission we were on.

I wish I could not hear this name on a daily basis.

"You know him?" I didn't mean to sound too surprised, but my voice gave it away anyway. "And not really, I usually fix it for him".

Yeah, and the last time I did it he almost got killed and that led to me almost getting killed as well.

"We've been out and about on a few assignments. I'm mostly doing tasks for the Resistance, leading attacks and all that" He sets the ship on standby as we watch from a distance while the group of Jedi gets in the Trade Federation Starship.

"Are you never scared of doing these dangerous jobs being human?" I ask out of curiosity, it gives me such a bad feeling being out for work like this.

He looks at me and grins. How can someone be so good looking like that? This is so distracting. "Kinda get used to it at some point, I chose this life".

I just nod and stare back at the distance. We both had comlink for communication, R2 looking out for any threats as well. I shuffle uncomfortably on my seat, desperate to be done with this mission. Poe notices my discomfort and rests a hand over my shoulder.

"You're going to be fine, they'll protect you at all costs and we'll be on full alert from afar. That's why we have other starships in position" He tries to comfort me and gives me a nod.

It doesn't change anything about this assignment, we all know how difficult they can be.

My sweaty hands grab my duffel bag and I look over the tools I brought with me. I hope this shitty idea works, because I can't be bothered to feel bad for failing their job.

A few minutes later, which seemed like hours, Cal spoke over the comlink and Poe promptly shifted the gears and flew back to the starship. As we land, I see him next to another General all while waiting for me. My nerves are on edge and I feel like I'm gonna fucking throw up.

Before I leave, Poe gives me a sympathetic look and offers a handshake. "May the Force be with you" He says kindly.

"May the Force be with you, commander" I force a smile that might have come out as a grimace and follow along with the other guys.

Cal stands next to me as we enter the enormous vessel, full of bodyguards and droids. He ignites his lightsaber and gets closer to my ear.

"We're close to the vents that lead to this small control room. We'll have to get into their system and gather as much information as we can" He whispers, walking me through a small hallway.

He and the other Jedi stop on their tracks and immediately drop both of the droids standing there. Cal turns on his heels and approaches me, handing me a blaster gun. One I was supposed to carry around but am too fucking scared to do it.

"You might wanna use it this time" He reaches out for a pocket knife strapped on his ankle and offers it to me as well. "I didn't say you'll have to. Just for self-defense".

He glances up at me with a tender look on his face. This man gives his life to protect me and I'd do the same if I could. I mean, I do but not the same way he does of course.

I just nod at everything he says and we look up at the vent. I'm not doing this alone, am I?

If I had a dollar for everytime he uses his force for mind reading, I would be such a rich person right now. "I'm going with you" He adds.

Getting in a vent with a duffel bag is probably one of the worst scenarios I never thought about. We were dragging our bodies while he tried to drag the bag without making much noise, but obviously not being very cautious with the tools, the gears and other objects in there. We get to the room, me behind Cal as he shoots his blaster against the soldiers. I can't feel my legs at this point, and it's not even because we're in such a small space.

He drops on his feet first, glancing around the room, before looking up at me. He shoots both arms up, waiting for me to jump in as well. I don't know how I was able to pull a stunt like that since I'm afraid of heights. And I mean 8 feet is already too much for me. Cal grabs my hips and slowly puts me down, a large smile on his face.

"There you go, James Bond!" He mocks, arching his back as I swat him on the chest.

"Shut up, smartass" I can barely speak as I feel my voice falter from the stress and the adrenaline.

He walks over a large control panel, hundreds of different colored buttons and keys. They have pretty much a huge system for such a small room. I mean, if there's a bigger room then this is just a gist. First things first, I had to disable the security camera before someone came bursting into the door. I sit on the big chair and Cal leans against the desk next to me. I'm sure he has no idea what the hell I'm doing. I use a small device to hack into the system and quickly find the program to the security camera. 

They clearly need a better safety system, because it's too easy to get into their computer. Either that, or it's a trap. But I'd rather believe they're just that stupid. I turn off the cameras, both of us making sure they're all shut down.

Next, I type in a few things on the keyboard, trying to find what exactly they need. Cal uses his pointer finger to make sure he's looking for the right folder, carefully reading every single word on the screen. "We need strategies folders, every spacecraft and architecture project. List of trades and traders they use".

He said it like he was writing down a fucking grocery shopping list.

I try not to send him a glare or even look at him like I'm pissed. So I just go straight to the point. "Might as well just wipe out the entire computer, Kestis. This might take hours!".

"You can just add them to the device you have?" I swear to God, he can't be that serious.

"You're smart, Cal. Use your head. How big do you think these files are? They're all programs, it's a heavy stack of files" I start to get freaked out with the idea of being there for too long.

"Okay, right I'm sorry if I'm a newbie at technology" He adds dramatically. "Can you just drag the list and the strategies folders then?".

I move the mouse right away, bringing everything to my device, waiting for the system to calculate the estimated time. I can't help but tap my fingernails over the desk while I wait for it. Cal doesn't seem too worried like I am, as though he carries a very serious look on his face.

"We've been in for ten minutes. We probably still have a good half an hour left" He says, still leaning next to me, looking at the watch on his wrist.

"Considering this ship can blow up when we least expect it, I don't think it's good" I look at him like I'm not feeling well. He reaches my right arm and folds his big hand around it, giving it a light squeeze.

"We'll know before it happens, darling" Cal reassures me as his hand goes up and down on my arm in a comforting attempt.

Fifteen fucking minutes. I'm gonna throw myself off the ship. He uses his comlink to let the others know, which they all agree. For the first time, Anakin goes in the line and says he's trying to make a trade. It was all a set up as Cal explained.

The remaining seven minutes turned into a disaster, when a loud blast echoed through one of the hallways outside the room. Then an alarm went off and the lights switched to a dim green light. I just wish they won't turn off any other system before I can transfer everything, otherwise this would be just a waste of time and job. We looked at each other, he was gripping his lightsaber tightly waiting for something to happen, while I held the blaster just for the sake of it. There was another loud burst from a distance, the red head sprinted closer to me.

"Is everyone good?" He asked through the comlink, no one answered. "Damn it" He muttered.

"We need to get out of here before it gets worse!" I try to step in and figure out a way for us to get out. He didn't seem to listen. "Cal!".

"We're closing in on the ship. We noticed a few explosions around" Poe finally chimes in, but not with good news.

Why is it never good?

And then Skywalker called out again, this time shouting words I couldn't understand. I twist my head to the side and look at Cal with desperation.

"It's a code, they're attacking us" He immediately watched as I stood up from the chair. "Hey, look at me! I'm here, you're fine okay?".

Definitely far from being fine. He then proceeded to talk but I'm too busy being stunned to care about it. His voice started to get muffled and I felt like my vision was getting blurry. Is this even the right time to faint or have a panic attack? He shakes both of my arms calling out my name, and I slowly blink a few times before staring back at him.

"For fuck's sake, (Y/N/N). Listen to me" He then places his hands over my face, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Please, listen. I need to go back there and help them. There's a digital lock on the door, they can't get through if you block it. They'll need to blow it up to get to you".

And you think it's hard for them to do it? That won't be enough.

Again, he furrows his brows and keeps holding my face. "Stop with the overthinking, I can hear it louder. Look, I'll manage it. I'll be back in no time, just wait for the files to finish and you wipe out the rest, fuck it. We don't care!"

I try to agree with the plan, but it was just too hard to keep up with everything. Before he turns on his back to leave the room, Poe speaks up again.

"There's a General lying on the floor, he seems to be injured. It's on Block D" He states before going off again.

This time, me and Cal share the same look. Now he seems more concerned than I do. I follow his gaze up the vent we came from, nudging himself up as he grips the edge literally vanishing. I call out to him, but he doesn't answer.

"Shit!" My hands are shaking so bad, I can't even type without missing the keys. "Shit, shit, shit".

Two minutes. Just give us two minutes and we're out. I hear a lot of grunting up on the room, the floor above me filled with noises and shuffling. The locked door starts pounding and I look straight ahead, fright starting to wash over my body.

"Poe" I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. "Are you there?".

"Definitely here, Miss. How are you holding up?" He asks.

"Do you see any of them? There's someone trying to break in and I don't know what I'm gonna do!" My heart is racing and it feels like I'm going to have a stroke in the middle of the room.

"Just talk to me, alright? How long until it's done?" His voice sounds comforting from the other side until he shouts. "R2! Not that guy, he's friendly!".

I have no idea what's going on outside but I try to shrug it off. "Two minutes! My hands are shaking so bad that I'm not sure I can shoot whoever comes in".

"Okay, not so bad" It takes him another second to keep talking. "I remember I learned a breathing technique, we're doing it together alright?".

I forget he's not next to me and I nod, but I feel like he got that anyway because he started counting and walking me through it. Breathe in and count to 4. Then count to 4 breathing out. Repeat.

"Now, hold your blaster up. Focus on anything as a target and breathe. When you inhale, you count one second and shoot. Don't wait, just shoot. If you miss it, just keep shooting" He explains, wasting his time giving me attention instead.

It makes me feel bad that someone has to do it when he could've been minding his own task. But I'm really appreciative either way. I don't know where the fuck Cal is.

"Don't forget to use anything for hiding and leverage. And please, don't forget to bring back the device" Nice one, Poe. Imagine being in danger like this and not even being able to remember one simple thing.

"Okay, thank you, commander" I breathe through my mouth and grasp the blaster.

Looking over the computer screen, I see that there's only forty seconds left and the door is about to burst open. At the same time, I hear Poe for the last time.

"We're sharing a beer when we land in Coruscant. I wanna learn some technology tricks" I barely have time to laugh as I watch the door sling open.

Okay, breathe. One. Shoot.

Shit.

I miss it by inches. From across the room, I look at Anakin giving me a snide stare as the blast just crossed past his shoulder. I gasp from the outcome and the sudden surprise, but he doesn't give me time to process everything as he shouts at me. His eyes are pure angriness and his shoulders are stiffened.

"Come on, I don't have all the time in the world!" Anakin waits by the door as I quickly set the system to wipe everything out and grab the device before we sprinted out of there.

We rushed with him behind me, there was a mess all over the place and the blaring alarm was deafening. I couldn't even aim while running, my hands were sweating and I was afraid of tripping on my foot. He kept dodging the attacks as well as blocking them from coming at me. This is the most attention I'm going to get from him and it's kinda funny given he hates me.

Anakin pulled a hand over my shoulder to guide me towards the hangar, my eyes shifting to take notice of what was incoming. I tried to at least shoot some of the droids but I was terrible at it.

"Grievous just left the hangar with an escape pod" Cal spoke up after a while and I let out a heavy and long exhale. "Knock down these fucking droids and hurry up!"

I didn't understand the seriousness in his voice, the Jedi Knight behind me still hasn't said a word yet and I have no idea what I'm actually doing at this point. Shooting at them and missing doesn't quite help knocking them down faster and I swear I can hear Anakin just groaning in frustration.

Out of nowhere my arm gets yanked back by a guard droid, pulling me over a room and wrapping its robotic arm around my neck. As if I was panicking already, this time I was pretty sure I was going to collapse. I tried to shove myself off from the tight grip, but it only made me flinch more.

"Drop your weapons, Master Skywalker" It said with their gun stuck to my temple.

I looked at him with such fright, my eyes were desperately crying for help. Anakin frowned, using his flesh hand to hold the lightsaber while the other one he used to pull back using his force.

"Let her go!" He screamed, bloodshot eyes and blue irises staring at the droid holding me. "I said let her fucking go!".

"I'm sorry, Master. We have a mission of our own to do" The droid said before managing to leave me unconscious on the floor.

Anakin:

Fuck. Shit. Motherfucker. Fucking cunt.

I kneel in front of her as she lies unconscious on the floor. She seems to be breathing, but I have no idea what this cocksucker did to her. I didn't expect my mission to be such a disastrous piece of shit. As she's still out, I look back at the droid that's staring at me with a puzzling look on its face.

I know how to read droids' faces and it's a gift from heaven. It's easy to trick them when I want.

"What did you do?" I shout and use my hands to shove it back with the force. I tap her face a few times, she doesn't even flinch. My voice barely comes out as a whisper to avoid the other droids to find me.

How much worse can it get?

I grab her, sliding my arms under her torso and lifting her up in a quick motion. At least she's easy to carry. Through my comlink, Cal starts getting riled up and spitting words like he was worried about something. And then I remember about their friendship.

Fuck me.

I try to ignore all the cursing through my ear, at the same time as I pull (Y/N) up on my shoulder, her body swinging as I run faster. I can't dodge all the attacks at once, but I maneuver myself avoiding getting us both killed. My lightsaber slashes them, knocking them down making it easier to get to the hangar.

"I have her, Kestis! Will you shut the fuck up now?" My voice screeches when I yell at him and my throat hurts.

"Why doesn't she answer her fucking comlink, then? Did you kill her, Skywalker?" His voice started to annoy me, my head was hurting from all the situation. I groan loud enough for him to listen.

"Yeah sure, I killed her and now I'm bringing her body myself because I'm just that smart. She's fucking unconscious, relax!"

And now he's just being even louder and insufferable.

Poe spoke up, his voice emerging like an angel sent from God. "Alright, guys. Let's just settle down, we're not at kindergarten".

I roll my eyes at his statement, rushing towards the hangar. The only ship in good shape was one of theirs, and Cal was standing in front of it. He was pacing around, hands on his hips, his forehead was creased and when he saw us he bolted forward.

"What the fuck happened?" The redhead asked in dread, throwing his arms up.

"We don't have time for bickering right now, Cal. Just help me get her up inside!" I swear my head was going to explode anytime soon. "A droid pulled up some shit on her and she just blacked out".

Could've said it sooner, he would probably understand. He looks at me like he knows something, but I don't bother asking.

"It was probably a spell or something. We need to lay her down" He says sternly as we approach the back of the vehicle and drop her on a cushioned bench.

"This is not what I planned for this goddamn assignment!" I mumble before turning on my back to both of them, heading to the cockpit.

"Well she got the fucking device, you should be glad she could do it and not die either!" He spat back, his hands holding her feet as he props her on the bench.

I just turn away from him making my way to my seat, turning on the gears. Hopefully we'll be back sooner than I expect, I just want to take a long shower and be with Luke for a while.

"We're good to go?" Dameron asks, his voice in a relieved tone as he watches us leave the hangar.

"Yes, commander" I mirror his tone and fly off the starship.

My mind eases as we leave it behind, I feel my hands grip the yoke from the ship tight. We didn't get to do the trade, Grievous noticed our plan way before we could get ahead of them. They attacked us in a matter of seconds, bolting at us with no time to figure out an escaping route.

This one mission is hours away from Coruscant, so it was going to be a pain in the ass to sit this close to Kestis. The moment I realized I had to be next to him it just made me pissed. I don't care about (Y/N) on the back, she tried to help and she barely knows how to blast a gun.

I won't complain about how Cal helped the team out there, as a matter of fact. But I still can't stand seeing his face, considering we just confronted each other the other day. The guy always means good to people, but it doesn't stop me from hating his guts after what he pulled on me during our meetings.

Almost two hours after we left Grievous' ship, we were almost entering the Coruscant atmosphere. That was when she finally woke, a grunt escaping from her lips as she finally took in where she was. Cal helps her lean against the wall, while she places a hand over her head.

"Holy shit" That's her first words after waking up. She can't help but smile at the achievement she made.

I watch as she still keeps the smile on her face, pulling the device between her fingers and raising the object in front of her eyes. It took me seconds to notice I myself had a side smile against my will. The red head leans for a hug, both of them laughing.

I can't help but clear my throat before I regret doing this. "Uh- Good job out there, geek. The team is proud of you" I barely speak and the guy seems to remark that.

"What did you say? We can't hear it!" He says it out loud on purpose, and I feel my hands balling into fists. "Did you just compliment (Y/N/N)?"

"Don't push it, Kestis" My eyes roll to the back of my head, I push myself off the wall. "Good to see you're up".

They stare at my figure quite shocked, their faces almost the same as their mouths hanging open in such a surprise. I'm very aware that's the kind of effect I cause on people when I'm being nice, and I know I'm not really the golden boy of the year either.

But I can't just avoid the fact that, without her, we wouldn't have information about General Grievous and his army. Even though it didn't end how we expected it, that's a win after all.

Before I walk back to the cockpit, I hear her cracked voice speak up. Like she was embarrassed of talking to me. "Thank you for saving me out there".

My head nods before I turn on my heels, it almost feels like I've switched back to the young Anakin. Real smooth, Skywalker.

@jackie-on-the-loose @adorbzliz @himesuedi @kingdomhate @himesuedi @cl0esblogg

[yurisorcerer]

I'm not gonna pretend I have anything super new or innovative to say about Mobile Suit Gundam. It's one of the most-analyzed anime ever, and I pale in comparison to some of the people who *have* analyzed it, but here I am, thinking about it regardless.

For context, I am watching this as part of a---as she called it---"comet swap" with my good friend @charaznablespeteevee, where I watch a mecha anime she is obsessed with (Gundam) and she watches one I am obsessed with (Code Geass). I'm not sure if I'm going to write a big long post like this about every episode (since I'm going to *try* to watch at least one per day, that would get quite exhausting), but I am liveblogging it more informally over on the worst website on Earth, if you're willing to put up with that Nazi-infested hellhole long enough to read some posts from yours truly.

In any case, Gundam and Code Geass. are many differences between these, the main ones being that Code Geass is more recent and also not widely hailed as a masterpiece of its form. It does *draw* notably from Gundam though despite having very different artistic aims and a different tone, so watching this makes sense in a way. I spent way too much of my teenagerhood obsessed with Lelouch, and now I'm watching the anime that his archetypal grandfather came from. (Goddess have mercy on my soul.)

My experience with Gundam as a franchise prior to this is very limited, but I do have some. For reference, I have seen all of:

Gundam 00, back when it aired on the SyFy channel when they had an anime block many years ago. I really liked this as a teenager but I don't remember it super well.

The Witch From Mercury, lesbian space combat, with a notable Code Geass staff connection. WFM was not perfect or anything but I loved it a lot and Suletta is very dear to me. I actually bought an Aerial gunpla a few months ago that is currently sitting unassembled in my closet.

the first Gundam 0079 compilation movie. Now, it might seem weird that I've seen this and am now going back to watch the TV series. But, while I remember the general outline of what happened, I was SUPER sick when I watched it, and I only remember what happened really, really vaguely. While I have some idea of the general outline of what's to come, I'm mostly going in genuinely blind.

like 4 or 5 episodes of Victory Gundam, which I liked but kind of fell off of. So we're giving the franchise a proper second go here.

I'm a mecha fan more generally, and I'll get into some of that as I write these, but for now that's the relevant stuff.

Anyway, my main impression of 0079's first episode is actually a structural one. It's REALLY well put together. We introduce the setting, we introduce our main characters, and we introduce the main conflict, all very economically and with a lot of style---more style than some shows with significantly less room to work with manage, in fact---and I'm immediately invested in the fate of our main character, Amuro Ray.

From what I gather here (and a little bit from outside information), my impression is that of a kid who loses his innocence very, very rapidly over the course of this story. Here, the space-hab-thing he lives on is attacked, and he ends up in the cockpit of an experimental superweapon called a Gundam (maybe you've heard of them?). I LOVE how the Gundam is framed here, like some kind of genuinely scary war machine. It's an intentionally othering effect i mostly associate with later mecha anime, especially those with outright monstrous mecha like Evangelion or even The Big O, so to see it here in such a comparatively early series in the genre is impressive.

The episode's climax sees him kill two soldiers from the enemy nation of Zeon, but it's not a triumphant thing, really. He's portrayed as kind of not really knowing what he's doing, flailing around inside this gigantic walking tank / mechanical war god. But then when he *does* figure things out, well, he has to deal with the fact that he just killed two dudes. Going by the cliffhangery ending here, it doesn't seem like his troubles are over, either.

[groovebunker]

can i humbly request some francc headcannons? 🫶🏻

....literally always. i feel like i'm not great at general headcanons and i'm currently very involved with future! cc x fran but here you go:

(we just talked about this in chat) fran pretends to be scared of spiders when cc's at home so that cc deals with them. when fran's home alone, she deals with spiders just fine. cc does not like spiders but she is absolutely not going to let fran know that.

in the future, cc babcock does have twitter for work purposes. she is only allowed to use twitter with adult supervision. the adult is her teenage daughter. fran finds this impossibly funny.

cc is a vacation planner. there are binders. their days are planned down to the hour. her bag is packed forty eight hours before she has to leave for the airport. which is always four hours before the flight. when they get to where they're going, she looks in the binder and finds that fran's rearranged it because cc didn't factor in enough time for making out. she cannot find it in herself to be annoyed.

fran packs the night before and inevitably forgets at least three things. cc always has spares.

they are atrocious at fighting. fran is very much a 'fight for what you love' kind of gal and cc is very much a 'if we're fighting, we're already doomed' kind of gal. the first time they argue, cc storms off to her bedroom and slams the door and is very surprised to find fran storming through thirty seconds later to tell her they weren't done yet. they're both stubborn as hell and their arguments never get less fiery. everyone does learn to get out of the way though.

(cannot remember if i have posted this one before) when they have a kid, cc wants to hire a nanny because....that's just what you do. fran is horrified bc frankly, all the people she knows who had a nanny are a little fucked up (she is counting the sheffield kids, she did her best). cc 'hires' sylvia to help (as if she wasn't going to anyway) and fran is like 'that is my mother, why would you want her raising your kid?' and cc's like 'well she raised you and you're my favourite person in the world so it made sense'

cc is a fucking nerd and fran has absolutely said 'i'm too pretty to watch those movies' about [insert franchise here] but she secretly enjoys them.

when they get married, they plan some ridiculous competition to see if they're going to be the babcock-fines or the fine-babcocks. they both bribe niles to rig it. there is never a decision made and they literally end up flipping a coin the morning of the wedding.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Movie 2: Super Hero (2/5)

This line might just encapsulate the entire movie. "Yeah, sorry, folks. They made me the star of the movie this time, so it probably won't be as good. Why are you all cheering? Did Goku walk by or something?"

Last time, we set up the main villains of the story. Now, it's six months later, and we find Piccolo sparring with Pan near his house. Yeah, Piccolo has a house now. I remember when they revealed the house in an early promotion for the movie, and everyone was nuts about it. Piccolo has a house! What's inside? Look, he has a mailbox! What kind of mail does he get? What a time to be alive.

So Pan is three years old, according to this movie, so I think the idea here is that this is set just before the 25th Budokai and the finale of Dragon Ball Z. So Super Hero represents a turning point for the franchise. Up to now, every story told under the Dragon Ball Super brand has been set during the ten-year-gap between DBZ Episodes 288 and 289. But now we're at the end, which means the next movie, anime, or manga arc has to make a big decision:

A) Set the story after the 25th Budokai, and work around Goku's decision to train Uub at his home village.

B) Ignore the "End of Z" continuity altogether and just keep trucking along like it doesn't matter.

C) Just keep telling stories in the small time interval between Super Hero and the 25th Budokai and hope no one calls attention to it.

D) Jump back to the beginning of the ten-year-gap and tell stories out of chronological order.

I think A or B is the most likely option, since they wouldn't have jumped this far forward in time for Super Hero if they were worried about staying inside the ten-year-gap. I also suspect that they'll try to respect the "End of Z" lore, if only because they've mentioned Uub a few times in the DBS anime, and Uub actually had a cameo appearance in the manga.

But no matter what happens, Things Are Going To Be Very Different. In theory, Toei/Shueisha can do just about anything with the franchise now. They could kill Bulma, or give Majin Buu a whole new transformation. I guess they could try to steer the storyline towards the events depicted in Dragon Ball GT, but I'm pretty sure that ship sailed when they turned the Pilaf Gang into children. The point is that anything is on the table.

But back to the matter at hand. Pan's whole deal now is that she trains with Piccolo at his house every morning, then runs off to attend preschool until 1pm. Piccolo thinks she's showing great promise as a martial artist, even more than Gohan did when Piccolo first trained him, and Gohan was a year older back then. Pan thinks that qualifies her to learn how to shoot energy blasts like Goten and Trunks, but Piccolo says she has to master the fundamentals first, which means Pan has to learn how to fly, among other things.

This is Pan's character arc for the movie. She's not a major player in this story, but she still has an obstacle to overcome, and by the end of the movie, she succeeds. This is a big leap forward from the Pan we saw in GT, who remained static through the entire series. I guess she sort of learned a life lesson in the TV Special, but she was 110 in that story, so I think the implication is that GT Pan was a bossy twerp for a full century, which isn't exactly satisfying.

The weird thing is that we saw Pan fly all the time when she was a baby. In the DBS anime Baby Pan flew out into space, and she'd float around the house and such. I guess she forgot how to do it, or it got harder as she grew up and gained some weight.

Pan asks if it's true that her dad (Gohan) could be even stronger than her grandfather (Goku) if he tried. Piccolo says that used to be true but he isn't so sure anymore. Pan says she's never seen Gohan in action, and Piccolo explains that he hasn't had to fight, but if the need arises, Gohan will fight when necessary. Then he sends her off to preschool. A short time later, he gets a phone call from Pan's mom, Videl.

Okay, so let's unpack all of this. Piccolo has a cell phone, but he just leaves it in his house while he's training outside, because his Namekian hearing can pick up the ringtone from hundreds of yards away. Also, he holds it like a weirdo, dangling it from his fingers like he found it at a crime scene. Also, the case looks like a cartoon character. This is Penenko, an in-world fictional character that seems to be very popular. Its like a cross between a penguin and a cat, and it has a green tie like Yogi Bear, which I think is a classy touch.

As for Videl, she needs Piccolo to swing by the preschool this afternoon to pick up Pan. This is because Videl teaches a combat sports class, and they're having a tournament today, so she can't make it. As for Gohan, he's too busy working on a scientific presentation, and he hasn't come out of his study in days. Piccolo is annoyed with this, but he agrees to pick Pan up. Videl offers to buy him lunch, but he reminds her he doesn't eat food, so Videl considers buying him a Penenko plushie instead. Piccolo doesn't want one, though, because he already has a pile of them in his house. Presumably those plushies represent a whole bunch of past favors he's done for Gohan and Videl.

Okay, more importantly, let's talk about Videl. This is her only appearance in the movie, save for a still image in the closing credits where she comes home to find the house has been damaged. Still, this conversation tells us a lot about what Videl's been doing ever since she and Gohan got out of school. She's teaching a "combat sports class". This makes sense to me, as she must have given up the vigilante work around the time she was pregnant with Pan. But teaching students how to fight would be easier for her, since she could set her own schedule and arrange for the students to train independently when she's not available. It's the perfect career for the new mom with a talent for whippin' ass.

The thing is, Videl's not just any martial artist. She knows basic ki techniques, but besides that, she's the daughter of a world famous celebrity buttkicker, and she earned a reputation of her own as a crimefighter. So this can't just be any old "combat sports" class. I mean, they're participating in a tournament for goodness sakes.

So this is my Videl headcanon: She's teaching people to fight crime. And not just any crime, but the rocket-launcher-weilding maniacs she used to fight when she was in high school. Videl stepped away from that life to focus on her family, but she's still got one foot in that world. It started as a self-defense class for women, and then she decided she could show them more advanced techniques, until eventually she had a cool stable of badasses.

The tournament she's talking about isn't some fun little romp, although to her it would be, and it's barely beneath Piccolo's notice. But to everyone else, it's some kind of hardcore mixed-martial-arts event. Videl brings her students in and they're all wearing kick-ass uniforms to represent their school. What kind of uniforms? Here's a hint:

GTH. That's the name of Videl's dojo. The Go To Hell Combat Club, so-named because you have to go to hell to learn the combat style of Mr. Satan's daughter. Imagine going to some indy wrestling show and instead of wrestlers out comes a bunch of MMA guys all dressed like Pan from this movie. It probably looks cooler on grown adults, which is why Pan likes to wear it.

So what's Videl wearing when she leads her squad to the competition? Oh, we already know the answer to that question, because we saw her return home from the tournament.

I mean, it makes so much sense when you think about it. remember, we saw Videl wearing regular clothes when she called Piccolo. She must have changed into her Battle of Gods red-devil dress specifically for the tournament. She might have a different outfit for fighting, but this is what she wears when she's in the corner for her students. She's like a sexy ECW manager, which explains the red leather dress, black tights and white go-go boots. She's so over-the-top with this thing that it makes the Great Saiyawoman outfit look dull by comparison, because she's trying to get over this image of smash-mouth combat supremacy. It's the same reason Mr. Satan wears the cape.

This is a weird tangent, I know, but for so many years I've heard fans lament the way Videl was depicted in Dragon Ball Super, and they're absolutely right, but I'm a "yes and" kind of guy when it comes to this stuff. There's nothing wrong with having Videl be a housewife as long as it doesn't preclude some other, cooler lore from happening off-screen. And Super Hero seems to be holding out an olive branch to the fans. Yes, Videl has a life outside the home. She teaches martial arts, so she clearly hasn't given up fighting altogether. How and how much she fights is left to the viewers imagination, and I can imagine a lot.

Anyway, I need to commission some art of the GTH school looking cool. Videl's in the center of the group with a riding crop or something. Gohan's in the background with a snack tray. He made Chex Mix for the whole class because he's a sweetie.

Back to business, Piccolo decides to head for Gohan's house and confront him over this. He knows Gohan won't answer the door, so he just flies to the window of his study and scrapes the glass with his fingernail to get his attention. This fucking rules.

Gohan's working on a study of a newly discovered ant species that glows yellow when threatened, like a Super Saiyan. Piccolo isn't even a little impressed, but he agrees to pick Pan up from preschool anyway. He asks why Gohan never trains anymore, and Gohan gives the stock answer about how nothing bad will happen, and even if it does, Goku and Vegeta will surely deal with it. I mean, that is what happened in the last movie, but they cut it pretty close in Resurrection F. Piccolo uses his clothes-altering powers to make Gohan wear his old training outfit, but that's about all he does.

I don't really understand this constant back-and-forth about whether or not Gohan trains enough in DBS. Obviously, Gohan let himself go in Res F, and then Gohan asked Piccolo to train him again to get him back in fighting shape. Then they made it look like he'd slacked off again leading up to the Tournament of Power, except he did really, really well in that arc. And now it's like he's slacking off a third time.

I mean, there's time for that. We're talking about a five or six year period here. It just seems odd to me that no one mentions we've been through this cycle before. I think the disconnect is that Gohan trains, just not often enough to satisfy the likes of Piccolo or Vegeta. He'll stop training for months or years at a time, so that he can concentrate on his biology career, and then he whips himself into shape when he has the time. This movie pretty much confirms that pattern, but each time it comes up, the characters always act like we haven't been here before.

Gohan offers him another Penenko plushie as thanks for picking up Pan, and Piccolo insists that he never liked them. I think it is very likely that Gohan and Videl do this to him on purpose. I mean, Videl knew this tournament was coming up, and she could have made other arrangements, but this way Piccolo feels obligated to be involved with their family. If they just invited him over to things, he'd probably decline, but this way he feels like they need him and he can act all put-upon, but he still gets to spend more time with Pan and such. Also they might be trying to fix Piccolo up with Pan's teacher, but we'll get to that later.

So now Piccolo just has to get in as much training as he can until 1pm, right? Wrong, because as soon as he sits down to meditate, some new guy shows up and attacks him. He refuses to identify himself, but the Red Ribbon pack on his uniform pretty much gives it away. Plus, this guy has no ki signature, so he must be an android or cyborg like Gero's creations.

So they fight, and it doesn't go well for Piccolo. At one point he asks why he can see words appear whenever he gets his. I thought this was a cute fourth-wall-breaking joke, but in fact this new guy has a holographic projector that makes the comic book sound effects appear behind him.

The mysterious attacker only refers to himself as a super hero, and after he blows up the butte Piccolo is on, he flies back to his base, thinking Piccolo is vaporized. But Piccolo escaped unseen, and he decides to trail this guy and find out who he's working for.

This leads Piccolo to a secret base inside what I believe is a crater. It looks like the crater is full of lakewater, but it's actually a holographic illusion. Piccolo finds a goon in his size and swipes his uniform.

Inside, he finds the bad guy command center, where the new android reports to Magenta and Hedo. Piccolo learns that his name is Gamma, and there's actually two of them. Hedo already watched Gamma 2's attack on Piccolo via a remote feed from 2's eyes, and his only feedback is that 2 should have done a cool pose after killing Piccolo. Gamma 1 is more concerned that Piccolo might have survived because 2 was too sloppy to check for a body.

Sure enough, 1 reviews the footage and discovers evidence that Piccolo escaped. And since Magenta insisted that the Gamma's wear RR patches on their costumes, there's a real risk that Gamma 2 tipped their hand to the enemy. Gamma 2 isn't worried, though, because he still overpowered Piccolo, and the end goal is to defeat Dragon Team, so if this escalates the conflict, then so much the better.

And that pretty much sums up the Gammas' characters. They both play the superhero role they were designed to resemble, but 1 is more cautious and responsible, while 2 is more carefree and funloving. Earlier in the film, we see pictures of Hedo at some sort of autograph signing, and there's a character who looks almost exactly like the Gammas there, so I assume he designed his androids to look just like that character. Hedo doesn't seem too concerned with originality.

Carmine agrees with Gamma 1's concern. Their enemies have the combined power of Goku, Vegeta and Majin Buu, not to mention Mr. Satan. Apparently, the Red Ribbon Army still isn't clear on how powerful he is. If they find out about the Red Ribbon too soon, it could jeopardize everything, no matter how powerful the Gammas might be.

Hedo disagrees. Once he collects enough combat data from 1 and 2, he can simply upgrade them and create even more Gammas until they have enough power to tip the scales.

Apparently, Hedo doesn't think it would take very long to get more Gamma's manufactured, which is why they have these two booths already set up. This makes me wonder if Gamma 3 and 4 are already in there, just waiting for Hedo to activate them.

As for Magenta, all he wants to talk about is Hedo's other project-- Cell Max. This leads to a heated discussion over the value of the project.

Basically, Magenta considers Cell to be Gero's greatest creation, and while the RPC has Gero's notes on how to make Cell, they were too complex for anyone to reproduce the experiement. This isn't much of a surprise, since Gero never finished Cell the first time. When Gero learned that it would take decades to complete the work, he turned it over to his computer and moved on to working on his other plans. That computer never finished, because Krillin and Trunks destroyed it and the embryonic Cell back in DBZ Episode 145. However Magenta got the data on Cell, it must have been sent to him before then, but it would have only represented the earliest stages of the project. No wonder his own scientists couldn't get very far with it.

The only reason Magenta even considers it worth pursuing is because a completed Cell showed up to menace the world. Magenta thinks that Gero must have pulled it off somehow. What he doesn't know is that this Cell came from an alternate future where Gero's computer had time to complete the project. So Magenta knows what the finished Cell is capable of, but he doesn't have a complete recipe to make a new one.

But Dr. Hedo is even smarter than Gero, which is why Magneta hired him. The Gammas are fine machines and all, but what Magenta was really hoping for was that Hedo could take the notes on Cell and figure out how to build a new and improved model. And to his credit, Hedo was able to do that, but not completely. He created Cell Max's body and made him far more powerful than the original Cell, but he's still not done because his brain takes a long time to develop. I don't know if this is like a programming thing or Cell Max needs time for his brain matter to grow complex enough to support his mission.

At any rate, Magenta just wants to turn Cell Max loose right now, because he's so high on the prospect of unleashing such a powerful weapon. But Hedo warns him that they won't be able to control Cell Max the way he is now. If they activate him now, Cell Max might easily run wild and destroy the world, which defeats the purpose of using him in the first place.

Hedo's argument is that they don't even need Cell Max, so instead of wasting time on him, they should focus on the Gammas, who are more than powerful enough to carry out Magenta's plans. They can defeat Dragon Team, then the rest of the world will fall to the Red Ribbon Army, and then Magenta can reveal Cell Max to show off his power to the world. Magneta seems to buy into that idea, at least for now.

The thing is, we really don't know how long it would take for Hedo to finish Cell Max. It took Gero's computer decades to finish the original Cell, so maybe most of that time was spent developing his brain, and yet that Cell never did follow his programming completely. So maybe Cell Max would be uncontrollable too, no matter how much Hedo tinkered with him.

Then again, Hedo built the Gammas in just six months, so he's demonstrably smarter than Gero ever was. It's possible that he could finish Cell Max's brain in a matter of weeks and make him fully obedient. He just doesn't want to spend the time because it's busy work and Max doesn't look like a super hero, so he's not very motivated to complete the project. It kind of makes you wonder what Hedo could have accomplished if he'd given it his full attention.

Needless to say, all of this freaks Piccolo out, so he excuses himself and finds a quiet spot to make a phone call to Bulma. She tells him Vegeta has been away for three weeks now, training on Beerus' planet. And Goku went along with him, so they're both unavailable. Piccolo asks her if she can use that device Whis gave her to call him, and she says she'll see if she can reach them that way.

I just want to pause here to admire Bulma's yellow jumpsuit. This is definitely one of her hottest looks, perhaps because it's so workmanlike and unsexy. She just makes it look cool because she's Bulma. She just got done welding a quantum computer to a ham radio or something.

In the meantime, Piccolo leaves the RR base to go to Korin's Tower and get some senzu beans. He's still in the mindset that Goku and Vegeta will be the ones to take care of things, but he has to do as much as he can in the meantime to improve their chances.

As he flies through the holographic lake, we get a nice exterior shot of the base. So yeah, it does look like a couple of craters, although I'm not sure what the use was in disguising the inside when you can see all this stuff built up around the outside. I guess they have some sort of phony mining operation set up if anyone snoops around.

And that'll about do it for now. I've still got a couple of image spots for this post, so let's show off the photos on Gohan's desk. Pretty cool.

And here's a cool shot of Cell, since he came up in conversation.

[jupiterswasphouse]

WASP REVIEW - WIND BEES (& COHORTS) (THE DENPA MEN: THEY CAME BY WAVE)

[Image ID: A screenshot of the Wind Bees from The Denpa Men: They Came By Wave /End IDs.]

Here's one of the games I've played through very recently! A silly little 3DS RPG called The Denpa Men: They Came By Wave, the first in the Denpa Men franchise, released in 2012. It's a fun little experience, a very casual game for the RPG genre, I would say, if a bit harder to play when you're not taking your 3DS everywhere you go (which I'd imagine even most 3DS owners aren't in the year 2024) due to the little gimmick of obtaining more Denpas through the presence of "radio waves", which wouldn't be a big deal of they actually meant radio waves, but it's actually more about the presence of possible internet connections. You can get them through QR codes partway through, but that's mechanically discouraged, and also besides the point for the purposes of this review! I would absolutely recommend this game, yes, but we're here to look at a particular set of enemies within!

In the first forest area of the game, you'll encounter Wind Bees, which are both recognizable as Hymenopterans and odd to say the least. Their body shape is very clearly wasp or bee-like in nature, with the expected black and yellow markings, and the proper wing count. But their wings are also a bit oddly shaped, with a strange bend in them near the base, as are their forelimbs, with modified, scythe-like tarsi/tibias (possibly even the femur is modified, it's very difficult to tell at the resolution of the Nintendo 3DS). These forelimbs bring two families of insects to mind, those being the shield-handed wasps and the mantidflies/mantid lacewings.

[Image Sources: iNaturalist, david99, and The Michigan Nature Guy | Image IDs: Two photos, one of a black and yellow shield-handed wasp, and the other of a red, yellow, and black wasp mimicking mantidfly, both on different types of green leaf /End IDs.]

They also seem to be missing a pair of legs, but they've gained one more feature, a sort of horn that protrudes from their heads, and appears to be just as sharp as their forelimbs. Speaking of their heads, they don't appear to have occeli, nor mouthparts of any kind, the only other notable features of their heads apart from their horns being their antennae, which oddly stand in such a way that they're positioned slightly backwards, and their compound eyes, which are purple, a color only really found in iridescent species of Hymenopterans. Their stinger, too, something that is most typically black, is purple in these deadly bees, as well as being oddly big and visible. Finally for their appearance, their mesosoma (functional thorax) seems to be quite dark, while their head and metasoma (functional abdomen) are lighter in color, a feature found in a multitude of Hymenopterans, but not the ones we generally call "bees".

Ah, but they're not the only bees in this game, as there are several other reused assets bee variants to be seen, notably the Killer Bees and Doom Bees (I feel like I remember a blue variant too but I'm not sure and information on this entire franchise is honestly kinda sparse 💀 so do tell me if I missed one).

[Image IDs: Two screenshots, one of them being of the Killer Bees, a red and white variant with yellow wings, while the other is of a Doom Bee, a black and grey variant with red eyes and blueish wings /End IDs.]

The first one, the Killer Bees, have a red and white coloration that resembles very few bugs, perhaps vaguely comparable with certain ichneumon wasps amongst Hymenoptera, but much closer to the colors of a red cotton stainer from the order Hemiptera.

[Image Sources: BugGuide.net, Judy Gallagher, and Lucidceentral, PestNet | Image IDs: Two photos, one of a red, black, and white ichneumon wasp on a green leaf, and the other of a red and white, red cotton stainer bug on the underside if a very thin twig /End IDs.]

While the latter, the Doom Bees, I actually can compare directly something we would typically categorize as a bee, Megachile aurifrons, or the Golden-browed Resin Bee! Not a one-to-one comparison with that golden brown frons (the particularly fuzzy facial plate), but at least it's something.

[Image Source: Nature's Place/Being Mark, Mark Berkley | Image ID: A photo of a grey, black, and golden brown Golden-browed Resin Bee with red eyes preparing a burrow /End IDs.]

Theeere's not all that much else too 'em though, and they all generally have the same attack pattern too, with a slashing gust of wind from their forelimbs and a direct charge reminiscent of a horned mammal. Oddly, they don't used those massive ovipositors for anything at all, maybe this is a family that doesn't have that stinging venom, in which case they'd more likely only really use them on something they'd consider to be prey, which is a good thing for the Denpa Men I suppose.

That said, there's not much more that can be extracted from the game in terms of their behaviors, considering they're enemies in a fairly simple RPG with no in-game encyclopedia or Pokédex equivalent to speak of, and there isn't much documentation on the Wiki for them anyway. Even the screenshots I had to get directly from the game myself, and the Wind Bees are very early game! So, I believe we can end things off there, my conclusion being, they have some similarities and an honestly really cool design, but they're obviously fantastical in nature, and thus not very accurate! That's entirely fine for a fantasy creature, but since we're being analytical here, my rating has to be...

-

Overall: 5.5/10

-

Leave your wasp review suggestion in the replies, tags, or askbox!

[nokingsonlyfooles]

The Dark Secret of Kung Fu Panda (Part 1)...

... Shifu is kind of a shitty teacher.

But only if you live in the West!

Apparently, you all like Panda analysis, so let's talk about cross-cultural translations, Theravada Buddhism, filial piety, and the ultimate futility of writers trying to impart a specific interpretation to a diverse audience - just to start! Then, I'll come back on Thursday and we can unpack WTF is the deal with that Dragon Scroll.

American movies can pick up a lot of box office cash in China, so they try like hell to stay inoffensive and relevant to Eastern and Western audiences. Often, they fail spectacularly.

But Kung Fu Panda pulled it off! ...With just a little wobble on the dismount.

Chinese audiences have little to complain about when it comes to these guys:

But here in the West, we can't seem to stop coming up with reasons all three of 'em got a raw deal - even the ones who were a little bit genocide-y.

And especially this li'l guy.

Aw, no, look how cute!

People will bend over backwards to defend that cute kid (and sexy adult), to the point of throwing Oogway, Shifu, Po, Tigress, or the whole franchise under a bus.

There are folks out there who are gonna die mad about Tai Lung's lack of a redemption arc and humiliating demise. Like, literally.

To their credit, the Kung Fu Panda team caught this after some early screenings and tried to fix it. Tai Lung's betrayal and attempt to steal the scroll just wasn't enough, so they added a massacre, and every villain after Tai Lung had an impressive kill count woven into their backstory right from the start.

(Not that it necessarily helped, if you happen to look this bad boy up on DeviantArt.)

In a wuxia film, and in Chinese culture in general, betraying your father/teacher, and asking that they betray their father/teacher is more than enough to make a villain. Given that filial piety is the basis of all ethics, as taught by Confucius himself, what went down in the Jade Palace was an attempt to burn society itself to the ground, all because one guy felt entitled to a shiny piece of paper. That is Captain Planet levels of self-destructive evil.

All three movie villains pulled off some violation of this fundamental ethical duty. Tai Lung betrayed his father/teacher. Lord Shen betrayed his parents - and managed to let his teacher go, with sadness and disappointment on both sides. Kai betrayed his adoptive brother - although from his point of view, his brother betrayed him, so he may be the most sympathetic of them through this lens.

The only way to impart this level of wrong across cultures is to add a lot of murdering, and even then it doesn't quite scan. Tai Lung didn't even necessarily kill anyone in the village; cartoons get nervous about the word "die" around these here parts, so they just said he "laid waste." Well, that could mean a lot of things! Does that guy deserve decades of solitary in a hell-prison for (in my mind) doing nothing more than calling out an unfair action and leaving a bad Yelp review of Mr. Ping's noodles?

I can't trust a bird who eats noodles, I don't care how cute his hat is!

So, it's not just that the violation of ethics doesn't carry, the concept of "unfair" crept into a place where it really doesn't belong. Traditionally, it is perfectly acceptable for a Kung Fu Master to be a total piece of shit who motivates his students to learn out of sheer spite and puts them through hell.

Oh, yeah, I remember him. That moustache looks familiar...

If we're coming from a place where we buy that trope and expect it to be played straight, Shifu's mistake was being too nice to Tai Lung. His student's self-esteem was insufficiently crushed! That boy had the nerve to break his own Master's leg! Thank goodness Shifu became a cold, uncaring, emotionally-distant task master - just in time to raise Tigress right!

Yes. Good. Never let on that you're pleased with anything your student does. That'll keep 'em in line!

But a Western audience isn't going to buy that. Shifu just looks like a jerk, and Tigress is a jerk... In fact, all of the Five, save Viper (who is just that nice) seem like jerks, and Oogway is a troll.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you have something urgent to do? I think blowing out these candles, one-by-one, is rather important too."

Being an utter troll is also a valid way to teach kung fu, and Buddhist practices in general, which is definitely where Oogway is coming from. I peg him as a Theravada Buddhist, due to the way he teaches, and one scene in particular from the third movie.

Enlightenment isn't something you just hand over like a piece of paper, it's something everyone has to find for themself, in their own way. It's not possible to teach Tai Lung or Po self worth, and it's not possible to teach Shifu to lighten up, so the best a smart teacher can do is give them a good nudge, then step back and see what happens.

...Even if that "nudge" requires one to ascend to the Spirit Realm and leave your most stubborn student to clean up his own damn mess.

But there aren't as many Buddhists watching in the West, so what's a writer to do?

Well, they split the difference. Tigress did grow up better than Tai Lung, in accordance with the tropes, but it turns out she's not done learning and growing, and neither is Shifu (or the rest of the Five, but they don't get much of an arc. There are time constraints!). Their arrogance and lack of flexibility render them incapable of working with someone like Po - and they gotta figure out what they're doing wrong fast, 'cos Shifu's other teaching mistake is on his way back! In China, Shifu is learning to be a better teacher. In the West, he's learning to stop being a shitty teacher! And it takes him all three movies to grasp the humility he needs to learn from Po. Tigress, on the other hand, learns to respect Po and soft style by the end of film one.

When Western values are applied, Shifu comes off as a very slow learner, due to his own impatience and inability to slow down. But that's okay. He does learn, he's clearly trying, and we love him anyway.

Well, most of us do. Some of us can't get over that cute, fluffy little leopard, and we don't buy the (admittedly imperfect) attempt to make this story intelligible across cultures. These folks tend to focus their ire, much like Tai Lung himself, on that useless piece of paper the troll stuffed in a temple like it was something important, and the jerk led Tai Lung to believe was rightfully his. Why can't the boy just have his useless piece of paper, huh?

Well, I'll come back later and I'll tell ya.

[woodsfae]

Back to it after only… checks notes five months!

Babylon 5 S02414: There All The Honor Lies season 2 table of contents • previous episode

:o They're being merchandised!

"This is demeaning! We're not some deep space franchise." - Susan Ivanova

snerk

In my viewing hiatus, I forgot how truly stunning Claudia Christian is.

Hah, Sheridan fell for the oldest pickpocketing trick in the book, the ole "slight of hand while "accidentally" bumping into you." But I didn't expect it to be a set-up for an attempted murder!

Sheridan really doesn't look like a Bruce.

Delenn with the Hair! Being a detective!

This does smell of a set-up. I agree with Garibaldi, who is much more genial and likeable this episode than I remember him being the last several episodes at least. Maybe the break endeared him to me. :P

Lots of people acting strangely.

I hate that the Minbari are by and large being so racist to Delenn. Also, flagrantly flouting her legal authority as not only the Minbari-appointed ambassador to B5, but also the Council-appointed investigator into this situation!

The investigative protocols are kinda messed up. Sheridan issuing orders about the investigation into his own actions is D: not good. And very ripe for accusations of abuse of his position!

Whew, thank goodness, we're back to the light-hearted B-Plot.

With human face masks.

Hah, about time a lawyer shows up.

Yewouch, the hits keep piling up An indictment from Earth government, too.

Kosh! Kosh! Kosh! Here to be teaching. One does not simply refuse the Vorlon Ambassador's Summons.

A room, low-ceiling, with mysterious tarps shapes dappled in light, dimly. Robed figures. We're into the high fantasy side of this sci fi show again.

Sheridan really said "I don't have any cash, sorry."

omfg. Floating red robed figures singing classical latin hymns. We really are in the high fantasy side of this show again.

This is a moment of true beauty. Fucking wild, how did Kosh arrange this? or is there a society of magical monks living in the Down Below all the time?

Vir is haunted by the agonies of the past for two. Since Londo has no shame or intention of developing a conscience.

It's nice to get some Vir backstory, though. Poor guy. Unsupportive family, shit posting in an out-of-the-way unimportant crap position. And now they're taking it away for him. Rude.

Sheridan's field trip with Kosh was just what he needed, actually.

Delenn's people are shunning her, but she gathers critical information through the power of research and cross-referencing databases! Queen shit.

Minbari martial arts stances are pretty amusing. But Lennier's most deadly weapon is persuasive argument and appeals to honor.

Minbari don't lie, except to protect another Minbari's honor. THe latter part generally not being disclosed to aliens. That's a pretty big loophole, though. Makes it more like "Prefers to be honest when it's not too uncomfortable."

Delenn's propensity for meeting with her allies in private, aesthetic surroundings is as endearing as much as it is a ploy, I think. It's great for the type of gentle honesty she fosters in her conversations.

Dang, knowing this perspective of Sheridan's military victory over the Minbari, it does seem like an insult that Earth appointed him the commander of B5.

This outcome, as suggested by Sheridan, is a tidy way to wrap it up. But the backroom dealing feels more…overt? And less through official channels than much of Sinclair's dealings. Though there were coverups under his tenure, too! Such is the nature of B5 politics, it seems. But it also makes it a bit difficult to remember which governments, and which characters, know what. A lot of misinformation gets sent home to various planetary governments and circulates B5!

This seems nice of Londo to do for Vir, but I bet Londo also doesn't want to risk the next assistant not being as loyal to him personally. Better to keep the current one, butter him up, and improve his circumstances a little, to encourage that loyalty more.

Or kill him if everything goes south! So candid! Plus a month with the dreaful family. Londo can't help but be an ass, it seems.

And so ends the monetazation of B5. A little bear jettisoned into space. Captain's whims win, capitalism fights another day, a thousand ways.

A good and fun episode! The Moment of True Beauty really made it for me. A great Kosh Field Trip plopped right in the middle of the action. Just like Vorlons making incomprehensible moves that confuse the lower life forms. I am glad to be back! Hopefully continuing to be!

onwards!

[chris-aok]

American Kaiju Films

Growing older sometimes means discovering you're into things you weren't into before. This is the case for me and American kaiju films.

I want to be clear that I understand the thematic reasons why Japanese kaiju movies are better. Japanese Godzilla ostensibly isn't about Godzilla: It's about a great many things including but not limited to the devastation caused by nuclear weapons. American Godzilla by comparison is a spectacle of big monsters fighting each other and I'm here for it.

I had seen Godzilla (1998) and while I liked a few songs from the soundtrack, I never really felt any great attachment to the film or the genre after seeing it.

I remember enjoying Pacific Rim (2013) and finding it had moments of bad-assery in equal measure to its moments of ridiculousness (I blame Charlie Day). It also had a very memorable line from Idris Elba's character: "Today, we are cancelling the apocalypse!" Epic. I'm really glad Guillermo del Toro made it.

I think I started taking the genre seriously with the first instalment in the MonsterVerse: Godzilla (2014). It was dark, serious, and everything was menacing (As it should be: We're dealing with creatures that could wipe us out.) Also, Godzilla looked permanently pissed off: I loved it.

I honestly didn't expect to enjoy Kong: Skull Island (2017), but I did. Kong is a bad-ass. The backdrop of the Vietnam war was an interesting choice as well.

Kong has since been my favourite of the two "main" kaiju protagonists. He's more interesting as a character than Godzilla and I think the studios know it too because the latest instalment, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024) is a Kong-centric storyline and Godzilla feels like more of a supporting character in it.

I think the franchise has gone completely off the rails at this point and the plots in the latest instalments are ridiculous, but who cares? We just want to see big monsters fight and these movies do not disappoint in that regard. The people have spoken and this is what we want to see. Like Werner says: "Do not avert your eyes."

[dragonsden-system]

hey!! we're the DRAGONS DEN!!

Pillow (it/he/they)

🐲im the host/root!! always at the front, im physically unable to like things normally lmao

🐲18 years old, ages in real time

🐲current fixation is primarily TF2 and the Godzilla franchise, but other interests include Regretevator, Hollow knight, Monster Hunter, Voidigo, Roblox, and Night in The Woods

🐲uhhhh something something other stuff

tag is #🐲waga baga bobo

Pest (he/they)

🪲I am Pest. As in Pest from Regretevator.

🪲Dont really know how old i am, but its not a big deal.

🪲Current co-host of the system.

Tag is #🪲for the collection.

Goji (he/him)

☄️Hello reader!! i am Goji, but You may also call me Gojira or Godzilla :}

☄️I believe I am around 19 years of age, but I could be Wrong!

☄️I am a Godzilla fictive! We do not believe i am from any singular canon, rather I am just Godzilla as a Whole :}

☄️I dont often Speak much, I usually like to Sit back and Watch whatever happenings are Occuring

Tag is #☄️go go godzilla!

Combat (they/them)

⚪️hihi im combat!!

⚪️im also a fictive, but im not comfortable disclosing my source unless we know u :[[

⚪️im around 14-15!! idk if i age

⚪️they/them ONLY or u die forever

talking tag is #⚪️beat ‘em up!!

Arthur (he/it/xe)

🦀IM ARTHUR, LIKE IT SAYS ON MY PART OF THE POST

🦀LIKE COMBAT IM NOT REALLY COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT MY SOURCE UNLESS WE KNOW YOU

🦀I DONT KNOW HOW OLD I AM? I THINK IM YOUNGER THAN PILLOW, THOUGH

🦀I ALSO DONT SPEAK MUCH AND USUALLY LIKE TO WATCH, KINDA LIKE GOJI

TALKING TAG IS #🦀CRABBING

Spy (he/she)

🐍You may refer to me as "Spy". I don't exactly remember my real name.

🐍Like a lot of others, I don't know what my exact age is. Somewhere on the older end, probably.

🐍We all have a dislike of mouth sounds and loud noises, however we believe i have it the absolute worst. Please keep it down.

Talking tag is #🐍shhh

Soren (he/him)

🪶hello! i'm Soren! a barn owl or Tyto Alba!

🪶again, no specific age to be found, but i am an adult

🪶not much to say here!

talking tag is #🪶translated from hoolian

Peril & Legiana (she/her for both)

🔥we're sharing a section because SCREW YOU!!

🔥im Peril, the hottest (literally) dragon in the world

❄️and im Legiana, a... well... legiana. very creative name i know

❄️we're gonna break your kneecaps <3 /jjjj

talking tags are #❄️from the highlands and #🔥burn baby burn!

thank you angelcovesys, sysboxes, systemuserboxes, and systemboxes for the userboxes!!

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Shrek Forever After

Alas, we've reached the end of our Shrek Saga (at least for now, but my Dreamworks watch will be over way before Shrek 5 comes out so shhh). So, how do we cap off Dreamworks' most successful and well-known franchise? Well...

Bored with how mundane his life has become, Shrek strikes a deal with the shifty Rumpelstiltskin to have a day where he can go back to the old ogre lifestyle he used to have before he met Fiona, in exchange for a single day of his life, which just so happens to be the day he was born. So Shrek emerges in a timeline where he never existed, where he and Donkey never met, where he never saved Fiona from the tower, and where Rumpelstiltskin rules Far Far Away. Now Shrek has to find a way to undo the deal before he disappears forever. Sound like a complicated plot with way too much going on in it? Well, that's because it is.

So yeah there's like... a thousand plot threads happening here, from Shrek realizing he gave up the good life he had, to him trying to get Fiona to fall in love with him again, to Fiona leading a resistance of other ogres against Rumpel, to Rumpel trying to apprehend Shrek so he can stay in power, and that's not even mentioning side characters like Donkey and Puss who get sidelined in this movie so bad it's not even funny. There's just... way too much happening here and none of it feels like it has the focus that it should. As a result, almost everything feels rushed as its packed into this movie's runtime, and the emotions the plot clearly wants you to feel... just aren't really there.

Something else that isn't really there is the humor. This movie definitely skews toward a younger audience than the previous three, with much more silly puns and grossout humor than whitty quips and clever references. I'd be willing to forgive that if the characters were enjoyable here, but... they just aren't?

This is Shrek at his worst; I think his biggest problem is he's a lot dumber here than he ever has been before, guilliable enough to fall for the obvious bad deal Rumpel sets him up with, too oblivious to read the room when it comes to his interactions with this timeline's Fiona, just... nowhere near as sharply clever as we're used to him being. The same can be said about the other returning characters too, though I will say Fiona is actually pretty cool here. Like I said, she leads a resistance, and we get to see the badass qualities we saw of her in the first movie really come back around here in full force. As for the new characters, I liked the ogres in Fiona's resistance, but like everything else, they get nowhere near enough focus and we don't really get to know them as much as I would have liked to.

Then, we have our villain, Rumpelstilskin who is... ok. He's very over the top, very silly and unhinged, power hungry and egotistical. And yet, say it with me again kids, I feel like we don't get enough time to focus on him! That's really the biggest problem with this movie as a whole. It's way too ambitious to the point that it seems fundamentally confused about what it wants to be. It has major structural and pacing problems that bring the entire package down a lot. I wanted to like this movie, but idk, I just... couldn't, really. And that's a bummer.

Something I will praise this movie for though, is it's animation. While this is far from the best Shrek film, this is by far the best looking Shrek. They've really mastered these character designs and textures, as well as how this world is supposed to look and feel. The music is also pretty good, with some fun choices for pop songs and some really nice pieces in the score.

So yeah, Shrek Forever After is... certainly a movie that Dreamworks made. I think I said this about another movie awhile back, can't remember which one, but this film really is trying to be a jack of all trades (humor, emotions, character development, etc) and proves to be a master of none. We hate to see our Lord and Savior Shrek go out on such a mid note, but eh, I guess that's just the way it goes sometimes.

Overall Rating: 5/10

Verdict: Do the roar

Previous Review (How To Train Your Dragon)

Next Review (Megamind)

[elfdragon12]

Okay, so I think there may not be a better illustration of why I don't like Megatron's character arc in MTMTE than Dinobot in Beast Wars.

Megatron's just handed things without the audience really getting to see him put the work in. A good example of this is is how he decides being a racist towards organics is bad. In issue 43, he has a quiet realization that humans are "fragile, not weak". He hasn't had any interaction with real humans since returning to Cybertron and the Lost Light crew seems to be pretty dismissive of them (Rung is surprised humans have literature. Our heroes), so your guess is as good as mine as to how he figured this out. He takes a step back in issue 50 when he complains about Rodimus hiding the fact they were helping an organic race when he wanted to focus on mechanical races. However, in the next issue, he takes 50 steps forward and decides to be the stalwart defender of the comatose organics they found. Why? Here's the straight explanation:

I mean, this sounds all thought out and having thousands of screams piped directly into your head would certainly be A Lot™️, but I guess he immediately came to the right conclusion because this incident only happened, like, a few hours beforehand and they've had to deal with a mutiny and a full horde of back-up DJD members. He's not had a whole lot of time to really process it. So I would love to know when he actually took the time to do that. But no, Megatron got his required development and we're moving on.

Also... I guess the right way to hear the screams of people you slaughtered is funneled directly into brain rather then as ambient noise as you kill them.

To contrast, Dinobot's arc in Beast Wars.

Dinobot joined the Maximals in the second episode, however, he wasn't really a Maximal. He still considered himself a proud warrior of Predacon tradition. He manipulated Cheetor and Terrorsaur, constantly butted heads with the other Maximals, and tried to become leader the two or three times it looked like Optimus Primal had died... However, as the episodes progressed, you can see him changing bit by bit. A key episode for this development being "Gorilla Warfare", when Primal gets infected by a virus and goes into berserk mode and Dinobot tries to think like Primal. He failed and better valued Primal's mindset. Although we did have this development, Dinobot still wasn't really a perfect Maximal. He still butted heads and did not believe deep down that he had a place with them, as we see in the season one finale two-parter.

Then the second season re-introduces the Golden Disks and Dinobot was thrown into personal emotional turmoil as he remembered his impending death now he knows they landed on Earth. After this point, Dinobot made a lot of decisions, some good and some bad. He rejoined the Decepticons for a little bit. The writers show they understood the famous Hamlet soliloquy and he gives his own version of it. His relationship with the other Maximals becomes more tenuous and his biggest critic, Rattrap, gives his deepest barb by the fact that he couldn't tell where Dinobot stood anymore. The time comes and Dinobot knew he could change the future... But could no longer do it as now he was a Maximal in every way that mattered. Despite the fact that he knew he wouldn't have back up, he charged in to save the proto-humans and preserve humanity's place in the future. In his dying moments, he asks to be judged truly by his actions, good and bad, and "the rest is silence".

Dinobot's arc,rather than being a mostly straight line like Megatron's, has its ups and downs. Dinobot has struggles and, at times, feels isolated and confused. We see his friendships with Optimus and Rattrap develop, deepen, and be tested. Dinobot's lessons are earned and we see the steps along the way. Honestly, it's one of, if not the, best character arcs in the franchise.

Characters don't need to die in order to have an impactful character or redemption arc, but we do need to actually see them put the work in.

[crusherthedoctor]

It's been a long time since I've last seen Secret Rings' story but if I remember correctly the issue I have with the whole deal between Shahra and Erazor is that while yes it was handled in a somewhat tactful manner for a game mainly directed at younger audiences, it also felt... sorta thrown in like that?

Of course the game couldn't have delved too deeply into such a relationship, otherwise it would have delved into uncomfortable territory for the franchise's standards, so from a Sonic-storytelling point of view it works...but from a more general storytelling point of view it feels cheap to only scarpe the surface of such a sensitive matter (for instance I don't believe we're ever told what it is that she sees in the guy, what kind of positive facade he must be using to manipulate her, hence kind of undermining the entire crux of a toxic relationship like that) and only treat it in broad scopes.

I'm not saying we should've had scenes of Erazor being explicitly abusive towards her, God no! Just that I feel like that whole subplot felt somewhat unneccessary? Like it's so minimal that you could scrap it from the game and very little would change

If we're going to criticise things that are seemingly inserted for its own sake in Sonic stories, we'd be here all day. And I don't just mean comic examples.

Yeah, the story as is could have probably worked decently without it. But considering how much focus is given to Sonic and Shahra's growing friendship, I think it provides a strong contrast to drive home the difference in how they both treat Shahra as a person and as a genie, on top of fleshing out Shahra and Erazor at the same time, as well as justifying Shahra's inner conflict in the endgame. I also don't think there was anything cheap or insensitive about it just because it wasn't shown overtly.

What Shahra had previously seen in Erazor is certainly a mystery, but since the game doesn't dwell on it much, I think it's deliberately left to the player's imagination, since all that truly matters in the present time of the story is that they once had a history together, things went south due to Erazor being a dipshit, and Erazor is now exploiting their past history for his benefit. Sonic himself doesn't dwell on it and respects that she must have had her reasons, so it seems that was the intention. By sharp contrast, '06 spends a lot of time trying to convince us so badly that Mephiles is the ultimate chessmaster, and Silver falling for his obvious bullshit is somehow understandable because Something Something Desperation.

IMO, adding something extra to a story/character, even if it's not 100% necessary, doesn't hurt as long as it still has a purpose for being there, and doesn't take away from anything else that's already been established.

[outrunningthedark]

Here’s my question regarding Lone Star’s lack of success: is it really because of Tarlos? I’m not saying it isn’t part of it but I also think there are many variables as to why the show isn’t as popular. 1. Typically spin-offs don’t do as well

2. Rob Lowe isn’t enough to keep people week over week or season over season

3. The tone isn’t the same as OG leading many not to tune in

4. COVID hurt them a lot more than OG as they weren’t able to build the fan base

Maybe I’m misunderstanding you (apologize if that is the case) but I don’t think you can place as much blame on Lone Star’s lack of success on Tarlos as I think you do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The problem with this entire ask is that you're basing the "lack of success" for LS on your perception of things instead of adding facts to the equation.

First, spinoffs not doing as well as the original may have been a valid argument at one time, but in this era of TV? Spinoffs are the reason franchises won't die. Law & Order. NCIS. One Chicago. The FBIs. If a spinoff was doomed to fail, we'd have A LOT more original programming every season. And if we're being honest? Spinoffs "don't do as well" because the creators changed something from the original and the fan base isn't open to those changes. It's much deeper than "it's just not as good".

Secondly, and this is gonna come as a shock to many of you, but Rob Lowe the actor? Kind of a big deal in Hollywood. He did not need LS to be put back on the map/get back into the spotlight. You know how people accept Peter Krause's status (even when we didn't necessarily know of him) because of his work on Six Feet Under? Yeah, well. Ever heard of a show called The West Wing? Guess who got critical acclaim for his part? I promise you that anyone continuing to watch LS in year five is doing so because of Rob. Because they recognize him. They respect his work. We cannot say people are tuning in for Marjan or Paul or Mateo or even Tommy when Owen IS the show. And listen, we all love Angela, but let's not act like OG is still head and shoulders above all else when there are other series with the same number of seasons (or even more) that pull in more viewers more consistently. People are sick of OG's shit, too.

Lastly, and most importantly, I never said Tarlos is THE reason viewership is down with the spinoff. I said (more than once) that OG has shown us Tim didn't have faith in the fan base to support a gay relationship between two men that wasn't happening in the background. Michael could have been a first responder. His love life would have gotten more attention. Buck could have been confirmed bi while dating women. Same with Eddie. The fact that neither one of those things happened in SIX YEARS, not even early on when the characters were still being fleshed out, tells you it wasn't worth the risk of losing the audience to "the gay agenda". (Again. Remember who the shows are actually for. Angela and Peter and Rob aren't supposed to be encouraging teenagers and those in their early or mid twenties to tune in. It's gonna be viewers more in their age range.)

So when we look at LS and see an openly gay man playing a gay man alongside an actor who turns out to be bi IRL, when we see that relationship experience intimacy the same way the straight characters do, we're really gonna try and pretend it didn't and still doesn't influence people's decision to disengage?

The OG audience - the people not on social media! - wanted OG, Pt. II. That's not what they got.

[unimportant-ramblings]

Ramblings watches Halo

Season 2, Episode 1: Sanctuary (or quem patronum rogaturus)

Have you family Spartan? Have you faith?

In which I try to recall what happened in season 1, our characters are reintroduced (this time with more character), John MasterChief goes to the saddest brothel of all time while he and the show deal with the impossibility of serving two masters.

In 2022, I waded unknown water for my internet best friend @sonofcarnelian who had done the same for me with the likes of Frank Herbert's Dune and Bridgerton season 1 (two properties often paired). Readers of my posts will remember that I have absolutely no experience with Halo, aside from it's place in pop culture.

Therefore, we represented the core audiences they were looking to appeal to in season; big fans and no nothings. 

I enjoyed Halo season 1 a great deal, probably because I had no expectations beyond bonding with my friend. Even more surprisingly, I got both of my parents invested in it, and they liked it even more than me. Less surprisingly, both my beloved mutual and my brother, fans of the franchise already, were less impressed. 

Due to this, season 2 is in the same position as last season, but this time in reverse. Last season I wrote about how decisions were made to appeal to a wider audience; taking off that helmet, female characters and characters of color introduced (not that I know there are none in the games, I do not, I just know they almost always have them helmets ON), romance, we see JMC’s ass a couple times, human characters in the covenant etc. This season we are telling the established audience of video game fans that yes others are here, but we have not forgotten you. And I can not speak to the effectiveness of this maneuver, that is for my cohort, but I can speak to how they are attempting this balance. So far, the attempt is clumsy, but I have seen it done worse.

The first season began with Kwan as our POV character, a young woman from the planet Madrigal which was about to be overtaken with the Covenant, who are ugly cgi creatures, until she was rescued by John MasterChief and the UNSC took over Madrigal. I think. 

Season 2, aside from a cold open, which we'll get to, is this situation inside out. JMC and silver team (who consist of Kai, who has a little crush on JMC, but also got a very suggestive haircut in season 2 so we'll see and the other two who last season Did Not Matter) are on babysitting duty after the dramatic end of last season (they went rogue, John MasterChief had sex, his gf returned to being evil and died, it was a whole thing). We are then introduced to a group of religious people who do not want to leave this planet which is about to be glassed. Glassing is not a thing that happened last season, there was a ground battle on Madrigal, but after conferring with my brother who knows the games, this is much more in the fashion of what usually happens. Here we begin the three pronged status quo change which was deeply jarring to me but we're supposed to believe the show has always been like this:

The Covenant are the main threat: last season was about John MasterChief and his awakening as a full person, realizing that the people he served lied and manipulated him. While the covenant was present; Makee (ex gif) was covenant and they killed people, this was not the driving tension of last season.

Religion: again, the covenant were religious and Kwan had a family tradition, this season has religion as a central piece. Beyond connecting us to Earth (when that one foot soldier said he was a Baptist I was SHOCKED like baptist-baptists? Papist, we let baptist go to space?) I do not yet no the purpose of this, but it is interesting texture.

Secondary characters matter now: Last year the following characters mattered: JMC, Kwan, Halsey, Kai, Miranda, Makee, Soren and that is IT. And aside from those first three, their connections to John MasterChief mattered more than anything about them. Here we have bonding between Kai and Vannak (he has removed his pellet and has been very interested in animal planet, which is nice!) and as we go, our pool of characters continues to grow, as does their connections to each other. Hooray!

When questioned if JMC has family or faith he recommits to his team, both silver team and general ground troops. He goes off to see hey why the fuck are comms out and uh-oh sister, the convenant is here! prowling about, taking out their comms. Already, to me, the fight seems better but as we found out last year I don't know what makes an action scene good. The covenant at least look less uncanny valley. JMC teams up with Perez, the last of her unit, and just as JMC and Perez are overwhelmed and surely doomed, they back away, FOR SHIPPING REASONS MAYBE? because that is my girl Makee in the fog for real let's go Reylos let's go. He's hearing her voice in the shower girls!

We get another shot of JMC half dressed but it is not hot, he is way too ripped and it's like buddy! are you okay. We also saw him like this in the cold open where they ripped out Cortana and both John MasterChief and the audience are feeling her absence. We are also introduced to our new Halsey, His name is Ackerson and he gives Silver team the "I'm not trying to replace your mom" spiel, we can only hope that means he too is fucking Keyes.

Last season, I detailed a lot of ex Spartan Soren, his high camp wife and little son and oof it's not going great for them, and it's really boring. Soren, after being a good guy and helping Kwan, has lost favour with the pirates and ultimately gets super betrayed by his crew and a space cop who he should have clocked immediately because he talks like Samwise Gangee. Also Kwan is at Soren's house now and is scaring his kid in a cave. So that's fun.

Meanwhile Ackerson is trying to gaslight (glasslight? is this anything?) by step-dadding the hell out him with false concerns over his mental health and allusions to his lost gfs (Cortana, Makee and Halsey, who of course is also his mom love that). The party line is that JMC did not see the Covenant and is crazy. Silver team is out of commission and Cobalt team is being sent out like there is nothing going on. This makes JMC naturally very anxious so he GOES TO A DIGITAL BROTHEL TO HANG OUT WITH FAKE CORTANA I LOVE THIS SHOW. Love how the AI is insecure. Love he wears a hoodie. Love that we're giving Reach, and the population of Reach City some color with a Red/Blue light district. Good stuff

Time will tell whether the balancing of two audiences will work; my biggest apprehensions are about the quality of the character writing and balancing our subplots, but tbh? I will forgive all plot holes if they keep giving me high camp.

But what will my cultured friend say? I'm very excited to see!

In the mean time:

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Manga Ch.100

Yes, Cheelai, we have finally reached the end of the 2023 Dragon Ball Apocrypha Liveblog, but in particular, we've also finally reached the end of the seemingly endless manga adaptation of the Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero movie.

And yeah, this seems like an anticlimactic place to close out the year, but that's kind of how this entire liveblog has been, when you get down to it. I've had fun going through all this stuff, but there's a reason I'm referring to it all as "apocryphal". The Tournament of Power is a lot of fun, and the two DBS feature films are instant classics, but none of it really feels essential to Dragon Ball. From the OAVs to GT to Super, the main theme here is "Hey, remember Dragon Ball? Let's make more of that!" Everything ends up being a sequel or a callback or an easter-eggy kind of deal. And that's not the worst thing that can happen to a franchise, but it's probably fitting that we're closing out on the final chapter of a comic book adaptation of a movie that serves as a sequel to the Android arc that was a continuation of the Red Ribbon Army arc.

Chapter 100 just retells the last several minutes of the Super Hero movie, and I already went over the film, so let's just concentrate on how the manga depicts it differently. We'll start with Gohan's right arm, which got some heat a few days ago when the previews came out.

I refuse to dogpile on Toyotaro, since he's a far better artist than I'll ever be, and I've genuinely enjoyed his art through this entire read-through, even when the writing has been bad. That said... yeah, Gohan's arm looks kind of weird. Maybe while Gohan was teaching himself the Special Beam Cannon, he learned how to do Piccolo's stretchy arm thing too.

I do think it's pretty dumb how chuds on Twitter will nitpick Toyotaro's art as though the original Dragon Ball manga was some kind of showcase of photorealistic anatomy. I've been a fan of this thing for a quarter-century now, and the key to loving Dragon Ball is to make peace with the fact that it's fundamentally goofy and stupid. Sometimes a guy's arm gets drawn longer than his other arm. Sometimes characters scream so loud that their jaws unhinge like when a snake swallows an egg whole. Bulma wasted a wish on the Dragon Balls to make her ass look hotter, because if she didn't, then Frieza would come back and use the wish to make himself taller. Goku grew his tail back by having a guy tug on his ass with a pair of pliers. This show was always a hot mess, so don't blame Toyotaro. It was like this when he got here.

Anyway, Cell Max tries to block the Special Beam Cannon like he did in the movie, but Gohan has a harder time punching through, so in this version Goten and Trunks jump in to distract Cell and give Gohan a boost. In the movie, they were still Gotenks until after the fight ended, but in this version the battle must have taken a little longer, since they de-fused a little earlier.

Of course, this is just a way for Toyotaro to show off the Great Saiyaman X-1 and X-2 costumes one more time. It's kind of pointless, because all of the added Goten and Trunks scenes in this arc have been pointless. Also, Trunks' pose looks really awkward here. He looks like he got sawed in half, and both halves are still kind of flying forward in the same direction, but he's no longer connected.

I will say that I'm grateful for this final appearance of X-1 and X-2, because it gives me a chance to critique their outfits one last time. I hate the superhero undies they wear over their tights. They look baggy and puffy for some reason, which make it look like Goten and Trunks are wearing diapers. I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of what the boys were going for.

I mean, the outfits aren't that bad, but what irritates me is how Toyotaro keeps showing them off like this is the coolest thing going on in this story. The designs are presented like they somehow connect all these different things. Goten and Trunks were inspired by Cleangod, and they named their personas after Great Siayaman, and then Dr. Hedo saw them and supposedly based the Gammas' costumes off their look. Except X-1 and X-2 don't actually look anything like Great Saiyaman, or Cleangod, or the Gammas. It's just frustrating.

Anyway, we get the same bit about cosmetic skin alteration from the movie, except Gotenks has already separated in this version, so Bulma can address Goten and Trunks separately.

I also like this part after Pan shows off her flying ability. This segued into the credits of the movie, but here we see Gohan calling out for her to stay closer to the ground. It's pretty cute, since it kind of calls back to when Gohan was a timid child way back in the early days of DBZ. Now he's older and braver, but I bet when he sees Pan up so high in the air he thinks about how scared he was whenever he was up really high.

Meanwhile, some Red Ribbon goons have survived the battle and appear to be slowly getting away. This is nice because I noticed these guys escorting Carmine to safety in one of the previous chapters, and I've always wondered if any of the Red Ribbon guys made it out of the base alive. Pan knocked Carmine out, so it seemed reasonable to assume that he was vaporized during the Cell Max battle. Actually, in the movie, it looked like the entire crater was flattened, but here it looks like the destruction stayed confined to that area.

Anyway, the implication is that Carmine will return to Red Pharmaceutical and try to figure out his next move, but it seems unlikely that he could be much of a threat. Magenta's dead, the base is destroyed, and a bunch of their soldiers either died or deserted in this battle. Remember, even with the base and all those soldiers, Magenta still wasn't ready to make a big move. Dr. Hedo's androids were supposed to be his game-changing weapon, and now Hedo's turned against the Red Ribbon, so what can Carmine possibly do from here?

We get some additional material of the Goku/Vegeta fight in the movie. In the post-credits scene, they were practically moving in slow-motion and we only got to see the final blow. Here, we see Goku and Vegeta each land one last punch before the one that ends it all. These boys look all rowdy and badass and it's great.

When Whis finally responds to Bulma's messages, we get this cute shot of everyone sleeping in the back of her aircraft. Gohan talks about taking her to the amusement park, which seems kind of random, but it occurred to me that this might be setting up some filler story for Chapter 101. Like Gohan and Pan go to the amusement park for the day, and Carmine tries to kill them or something to avenge the Red Ribbon Army. That probably wouldn't be a bad idea, although I really don't want that to happen, because it sounds similar to the "Hedo vs. Goten and Trunks" stuff we had in Chapters 88-90. Everyone thinks Toyotaro has been champing at the bit to get done with this arc so he can return to his Black Frieza business, but for all we know he's been enjoying this whole bit, and he'll blow the next six months on filler stories with Goten and Trunks goofing around with Sgt. Nutz.

Anyway, this is the last page and this was the last little bit of the movie too, so Toyotaro has definitely run out of movie to adapt. Also, Bulma looks really cute on this page, so I wanted to add that to the record.

So that pretty much wraps things up, except for one minor detail. Where's the big twist?

I ran across this last month when I was checking to see if Chapter 99 would wrap up the arc or not. CBR.com did an article entitled "Dragon Ball Super Chapter 100's 'Unbelievable' Twist to Lead to "'Crazy Developments'" The story stems from comments made by V-Jump editor Victory Uchida, who was hyping DBS chapters 99 and 100 while appearing in an unboxing video for some reason.

The video is in Japanese, so I can't just pull out direct quotes from the man, so maybe this was all some big misunderstanding. Maybe it was a mistranslation, maybe Uchida got confused and was referring to material that wouldn't see print until Chapter 101. Or maybe he was just doing a standard hype job for his publication without thinking about what was actually in the magazine. After all, how can Chapter 100 have an "unbelievable twist" when it's doing a shot-for-shot repeat of a year-old movie?

So I assumed this meant there would be some sort of epilogue scene in the final pages, designed to set up the next arc. Sort of like how the last chapter of the Tournament of Power arc had the scene where the Galactic Patrol kidnaps Majin Buu. But Chapter 100 had no such thing. No Black Frieza, no Cell Max suddenly turning the tables on Gohan to win the movie, no mysterious appearance from Purple Turles or Red Bojack. Not even a lousy cameo from Platinum Cooler.

Does this make Victory Uchida an unreliable source of information? Or has he simply been misunderstood? I feel like his ridiculous yellow wig/hat thing kind of holds the answer to that question.

Anyway, the ultimate fate of Dragon Ball Super lies in Chapter 101 and beyond, but those stories will be printed in 2024, which means they fall outside the scope of this liveblog. So unless Toei or Shueisha has a new movie or anime coming out in the next eleven days, I'm done. This has been the 2023 Dragon Ball Apocrypha Liveblog. Good night, everybody!