#but was kind of like. in context. to him. 'interactive as a professional (with power over him - evil interactions included in this

[chemicalarospec]

wild end to the episode. hannibal claims he's more interested in will himself than his madness, though he does value the madness. his psychiatrist says he shouldn't intervene. "and let him go mad?" asks hannibal, who is doing that, but also if he had not intervened to begin with Will's encephalitis would have been caught.

[jaylleoo14]

An Octopus First Impression II

part I

His first proper introduction and your "first" impression

>GN!ReaderxAzul

A/N: This is starting off right where it was finished so please check out part I first to get better context ^3^ And yes, this one is much longer

[disclaimer] A certain someone can't take a damn genuine compliment ��� (okay but understandable)

[characters] Azul & a little of a jesting Jade

In all honesty, you knew who Azul was. Who didn't know the dorm leaders when they are the most prominent leading representational figures in each dorm? You've met some of them personally, getting to talk and spend time with them on not so irregular occasions. Sure you see them more than often compared to the others, but it differs and varies. It's usually expected for students to at least show some respect for the dorm leaders, I mean they are dorm leaders for a reason. Yet there really are some arrogant nobodies from time to time and it's only then the wrath of the dorm leader's power and authority gets put into action, reminding everyone just who they are messing with.

Azul was no exception. In your mind, he is a dorm leader, automatically making him more powerful than the average students here and has qualities fitting for this role.

There you sat with the poised man, sitting aside from you on your left as he sat with his back perfectly straight. His posture made you a bit self conscious so you fixed yourself up properly once you realized that your posture wasn't the best against the wooden back of the chair. Just by the way he was sitting and talking, the way he gestured and pointed, everything about him seemed to just radiate professionalism. The way he would explain terms or the events leading up to the main wars, what magic played into what part and so on.

How kind of Azul

Your thoughts are only interrupted for a moment when you think to yourself how kind Azul is, his willingness to help you with your studies. Once that thought is processed in your brain, it then goes back to listening and following along with Azul.

You nod along with his explanations, following where his pointer finger would end up on the pages and his little personal opinions of why things are the way they are.

"Hey Azul? How about we take a break? I feel like I kinda need it" A hand props up on your cheek as your posture goes back into a relaxed curve and your elbow propped on the table and you let out a little sigh. He continues to keep up with his prim sense of etiquette, pushing up the frames of his glasses.

"Why of course. I'm sure going over the material for about almost an hour straight must be daunting and draining for someone such as yourself. Though we'll get back into the lesson once 20 minutes has passed." He flashes a smile your way, a stark contrast to your more drained self.

Perhaps it was because this is the first time you and Azul have ever interacted with one another, but one of your first thoughts is rather if you'd prefer his tutoring or Riddles. As you consider it some more you think as of right now you'd rather stick with Azul because you're pretty sure Riddle is a bit fed up with you right now and you don't want to feel the pricks of the thorns from the rose.

"Hey Azul? Thanks so much for taking the time to help me out. I appreciate it" Clasping your hands as you stretch yourself out, he lets out an affirmation that it was no trouble at all.

There are a diverse set of students here at Night Raven College. To brute strength guys to the most pretty silver tongue guys out there. If it weren't for your careful judgment in knowing when and where to proceed you probably wouldn't have made it this far with your companion Grim by now. Pomifiore is known for its elegance, the dorm based on the tenacity of the Fairest Queen. The students residing there you'll see are full of fair skinned and perfect silky haired individuals, looking as if they are from the richest medieval fairytale books you'd read in dark romance.

You've never got the chance to properly look at Azul, the whole session's main focus being the studying part. So when you come to take in his features, you can't help but to take a moment and stare in awe at how handsome and dashing he was in an unobtrusive manner.

He's so pretty

The way his lips looked plush and prettily pink, is that his natural color? His eyes looked calculative and thinking, yet looking so enchanting. The mole diagonal under his lips, giving it a nice accent. Sure you've seen some fairly good looking people who don't belong in Pomifiore, but his fair clean and glistening skin and his perfect features could fool anyone into believing he was a part of that dorm if he were to wear the uniform. Vil will always be the fairest of them all, but something about Azul enraptured one's heart just as well. The tentacles pull at the heartstrings as it lays there beating in the grotto. His look almost humbling despite his beckoning alluringness, as if it could draw me into the depth of deep waters like a siren calling in passerby sailors.

"Prefect, may I ask why you were watching me during flight class?"

"What?" In real time, despite all these thoughts running in your head you could say that it lasted for only about a minute - which is long enough for him to be aware that you were clearly staring even if you were trying to be discreet about it.

You feel your cheeks turning a warm red, embarrassed by such a blunder. "Oh well, I mean I can't take flying classes so you know, whenever flight class is in session I'm usually in the back doing exercises. And during one of our joint sessions way back I saw a glimpse of you then"

"I see, what a terrible time to see me truly"

"haha, what do you mean? It was pretty f- ahem. I mean, I think despite not being the all time best at wielding the broom, your skills prove enough to pass the class"

"Don't think that I didn't catch what you were going to say '' A little scowl forms on his face and I cant help but to laugh a little instead of feeling intimidated.

"Sorry sorry. But at least you guys can ride the brooms, it looks fun." Your voice sounds a little left behind as you recall the memory. "Being magicless isn't all that great when everyone is in the air and you're the only one on the ground doing sit-ups"

A shiver runs up your spine just thinking back to Vargas impeccable-muscle brained shouts.

"As the kind hearted person I am I can say that I can sympathize with your situation prefect, i'm sure being magicless in an a magic-filled school has it's risks." Azul twists his upper body to face me, sharing indulgence in our conversation. "And as the benevolent man I am, my doors are always open thus you need any sort of assistance, I'd gladly like to help in any way possible"

He places those gloved hands of his on his chest to give off a welcoming presence, a charming smile to top it off.

How generous he is

"Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are Azul?"

Now it was Azul's turn to stumble. "What? Are you trying to ma-"

"Look I didn't mean to get you off guard like that, but I think you should just know that. Take my compliment as a thank you for your generosity."

Azul can only give you a suspicious look, as if you had some hidden intent or meaning to those words. His piercing gaze shooting you like a triton. It was a rather sudden change in topic, he cant help but assume something was up.

"You don't have to believe me, I'm just saying you're pretty jeez. Take a compliment will you? It's not everyday you get one"

Clearing his throat he straightened his posture which he didn't even realize faltered.

"Why then, thank you for the compliment, Prefect." Just barely a light hue of peachy pink can be seen on his ears, and you were right. It's not every day he gets compliments. Weird, why wouldn't he? He's so pretty.

Because this is an all boys school full of cocky bastards who can't compliment others genuinely for shit y/n. Of course, an inner sigh comes out.

"Why are you suddenly so awkward now?" A mirthful laughter springing passed my lips.

"I'm not being awkward in the slightest, perhaps you should be better at reading others before deducting a conclusion"

"Someone sounds defensive" You divert your eyes to look up to tone it as indirectness, leaning against the creaking wooden chair. 

“And someone thinks they are being rather cheeky”

“Haha, no way! It was just a simple compliment. Did you want me to start teasing you instead and genuinely not mean it?”

“If you think someone such as yourself could tease me then you’d be terribly mistaken. I’d say you’re acting rather comfortable with me if you can so easily say such a thing.” Tilting his head up as an artful smirk paints his face, perhaps to better describe it better; a machiavellian one as his lips pursue to open to speak. “Comfortable enough to even shamelessly stare at me. But I am pleased to know my physical appearance is to your liking, Prefect.”

“I think it's normal to stare at pretty things though.” A lighthearted chuckle fills the air around me and I share a similar smirk to his, only this one was painted as amusement and playfulness. “Were you thinking you had something on your face instead? That would be a little entertaining to see you freak over that, if I were to say.” 

He doesn't reciprocate the playfulness however and just shoots back a more stern face. “I see you are feeling rejuvenated enough to want to fool around now, I think that’s enough break time for you.” Readjusting his position he turns to flip the textbook page over and you can’t help but laugh a little.

He’s kinda funny

He’s smart

Almost endearing even

With a slight pout and a feigned whine you scoot up your chair to prop yourself better against the material laid table and lean in to ready yourself to listen and follow along with Azul. With your eye going back to their attentiveness on the book, darting back and forth to write and scribble in your notes, next to you a small smile creeps on Azuls lips. His cheeks slightly a little red; it’s shade comparable to one of a watered down crimson sunset sitting on the edge of the sea. 

Pretty is what they think of me

You can say this study session went well as you both now exit the library, feeling not only drained but confident and pleased to have more self confidence in yourself now. It was not only productive, but you get the impression that your personalities interact with one another well. 

Azul sees you off, insisting he were to personally escort you back to your dorm but you firmly decline. You deemed that it was already enough that he used up at least 4 hours of his time to use it to tutor you.

“I was born with legs, but not a brain big enough as yours to comprehend all of that material in one go or two. Have a pleasant evening Azul, I greatly appreciate your help,” hugging your textbook and notebook stuffed with writings and notes. You wave him goodbye as you walk off.

They have a better image of me now, good

Azul walks back likewise, in a better mood and his mind more at ease. Not only can he use that study session to pull out some favors from you but he was able to wash away that pathetic self of himself on the broom from your head. Killing two birds with one stone, how easy it was. 

‘Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are Azul?’ your words echo like a ripple in his head. On the walk back he can only smile to himself remembering your words of what can be assumed of honesty from the heart and not some simple lip service to butter him up. 

They are rather interesting. We got along better than I expected

Being able to make the Prefect indebted to him is a big score today, the reason why he’s in such a good mood - is what he’s telling himself. But the overly pleased and delighted air around him tells Jade that there is more to it when Azul begins to share the success of today, arriving back at the chic and sea-themed office.

“You seem to have enjoyed your time with the Prefect, Azul. Perhaps if you continue to accompany them they may drown you out with compliments and poke holes in your heart.” 

Purposely saying that in a way which could be taken in two ways, selectively picking and choosing his words, Jade can only teasingly comment.

“I assure you it was all in my own self interest and benefit Jade. I don't let such words to affect me in such ways,” Azul combats his jesting with a serious look in his eyes. Jade can only chuckle a little, going along with Azul’s words to assure him that he meant no harm and it's back to work after spending so much time neglecting them. 

“Of course. It would take some time to poke holes in three hearts instead of one after all”

There you were, lazing on your striped cushioned couch back at the shabby dorm which you can respectively say is your dwelling and your little companions, alongside the ghost who you’ve managed to coexist with dwelling there before you. Your notes are put away and neatly tucked in. Residing in the corner of your history notes, a little ‘he’s kinda cute’ is scribbled on a random page.

Not like he'll ever know though, right?

[breha]

octavia butler voice dependency is deeply sexy if it is chosen and not coercive louis in choosing to drink from people repeatedly and non-fatally instead of killing becomes dependent on their consent for his basic needs. in his quest for control over himself he has to give up some control over others and be in relationship with people who would otherwise be objects or animals to him. but of course he does still have power in these relationships because we can assume most/all of these people are employees who need the money – perhaps desperately – and then that leads us to real-world analogies like selling your plasma and paid surrogacy and oh look at that we've arrived back at sex work. in the ideal scenario you would have a kind of even pull of mutual need and trust between louis and the people working for him, but the real world is often not ideal.

and these are all men everyone you see in the house is a young man, and the sexual element of that is unavoidable but also kind of distant and sterilized. louis is clearly invested in maintaining relationships with the people he's biting that are at least like. one-to-one and professional and respectful and that's pretty much what he achieves, or at least succeeds in projecting to daniel. but it's not sexy beyond the conceptual. the way he interacts with damek isn't intimate it's polite it's like damek came to drop off his dry cleaning.

and then there's rashid and this is where i'm coming at long last to my point which is like. post the armand reveal the context of that contrast changes dramatically. the beautiful young man who works for louis but also loves him and stuffs himself with sweet things before he offers up his neck – which from one perspective is a submission to him but from another is feeding him like a little baby bird – doesn't exist. it's a fantasy. it's a relationship he doesn't have with the people he's drinking from but possibly wishes he did. and we don't know if they're performing this primarily for each other or for daniel and what that expresses about what dependencies they really have going on but it is interesting in that it's like. almost aspirational

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Falling for You | Choi Yeonjun

Summary: You like Yeonjun, and he knows it. But what happens when you figure out he just might like you too? Pairing: f!reader Noona x Yeonjun, f2l (age gap 2 or 3 years, take your pick lol) Word Count: 3.6k a/n: I am so so so so so sorry to my anon that sent this a while ago! I hope it was worth the wait <3 p.s. not edited well because I was happy I finished it and wanted to post it asap! Let me know what you think!~

"I didn't know you were such an adrenaline junkie" Yeonjun says while fastening my harness and pulling the straps tighter, making sure everything is secure. "Why do you say that?" I ask, ultimately knowing but not wanting to admit it. "Well you've been here like 4 time since I started working here and I just started last month" he says laughing at what he probably believes is my clueless nature. "I don't know, it's exhilarating. Plus it was my first time so I don't know I guess I've been addicted ever since" I finish off getting a bit defensive but ultimately it's the truth. 

"You know, in another context that could sound really dirty" he teases making my cheeks heat up. "Yeonjun!" I scold hitting his arm, looking around to make sure no one had heard him. "What? Am I wrong?" he says, clearly loving my reaction. "No you're not but aren't you supposed to be acting professional while at work?" I question, crossing my arms over my chest. He ended up getting a job at an adventure park with bungie jumping, sky diving and zip lining, amongst other not so extreme activities.   

"Yeah but I don't need to act professional in front of you because you're my friend right?" he laughs, making excuses for himself. "Yes we're friends but still!" I argue, "Aw are you getting shy?" he teases, tilting his head at me. "You wish" I say scoffing at him, fed up with his cocky attitude already. Deep down though he knows I'm loving this...and that's the dangerous part. 

I like Yeonjun, and he knows that. I've liked him for years but we've never actually addressed it and he hasn't acted on it. Which pretty much shows me he doesn't feel the same way. So this is what we do, I act like I can't stand him but go out of my way to not so subtly be around him. Where as he does everything in his power to tease me until he gets a reaction out of me. Which honestly isn't very hard when it comes to him. 

That's been our friendship dynamic for years now and I don't want to mess that up, even if it means that we can't be together the way I want us to. "You ready to go? You know the drill so if you're all set I'll get you hooked up" he says referring to the zip lining contraption. You know, I might've been here multiple times already but I still don't know any of the proper terminology besides harness and carabiner, the latter being one Yeonjun had made fun of me for calling it 'the clippy thing' just today.

"As ready as I'll ever be" I say taking everything in. "Hey, you've done this before so don't let it psych you out" he says in a softer tone, placing a hand on my chin and pulling my face back over to his, my eyes now focusing on the floor not wanting to make eye contact with him. "Eyes on me Pretty" he says and I snap my eyes up to his but take a step back when I start choking on air. 

"Cute" he chuckles at me before bringing me back over to get hooked onto the zip line. I walk with him and let him drag me along, still caught off guard by the pet name and end up overthinking and spacing out until I get to the front of the line. "Oh hello again!" the girl that works on getting people ready to go on the line says. We've spoken a few times and she seems really nice but sometimes I get a bit insecure seeing her interactions with Yeonjun. 

"Hey!" I respond, still kind of unsure if I want to do this again. "Hey!" Yeonjun yells over to me, "Just close your eyes when you take off and count to 10 then open your eyes, that's when the best part comes into view". I nod my head at him and turn back around to face the girl as she helps me get connected. 

"You and Yeonjun seem pretty close" she says, clearly fishing for information. "Yeah we've been friends for a few years so I guess you could say that" I say. "Oh you guys are just friends? I could've sworn you were his girlfriend" she says with her brows slightly pinched together. "What would make you say that?" I ask, my heart beating a little faster. "I mean he talks about you all the time so I thought that maybe..." 

"Oh no, yeah we're um, yeah we're just friends" I say awkwardly after gaining that new piece of information and looking back over to him. "You know, if you like him you should ask him out" she says following my gaze to see him smiling and laughing with another one of their coworkers. "No I couldn't, plus I'm a few years older so I don't know" I say getting kind of embarrassed at the fact that I've admitted that I have a crush on a younger guy, and not only that but a close friend that's a younger guy.

"Wouldn't that be a bit weird?" I question, bringing my attention back over to her. "I don't think so. I mean it's not like you're 40 years old or something. Two or three years isn't that bad. Just think about it, I've seen you here so many times and I know for a fact that you both would make a really cute couple" she finished.

"I don't know about that" I say still turned towards her. "Don't know about what?" Yeonjun says sneaking up on me. "Don't sneak up on me like that! Do you see how far that fall is?" I scold and point towards the forest hundreds of feet bellow us. "You would've been fine silly. Plus you're already hooked up to the line. What's been taking you so long? I thought you went already" he asks, puzzled and looking back and forth between me and his coworker that I had been talking to.

"We were just catching up a bit" she says with a smile making an easy excuse. "You know Summer" he asks, speaking to me while pointing at the girl that I now know as Summer. "Yeah I've helped her out a few times since she's been here" she says and he nods, pacified with that answer. 

"So are you ready to go now?" he asks, double checking what I can assume is my harness, making sure I'm as safe as I can be. "I guess so" I answer again, kind of losing the thrill of the activity because of what Summer had just told me. 'Should I really ask him out?' I think to myself. "Noona?" he calls for me. "Huh? Did you say something?" I ask, feeling bad that I had spaced out on him. 

"I asked if you would like me to go with you? We can race if you want! Then I'll walk you over to the next thing you have planned. Skydiving right?" he asks trying to recall my agenda for the day. "No not yet, after this I'm going bungie jumping and then sky diving to finish out the day" I say filling him in once again.

"Sorry, with so many people that come here I sometimes get things mixed up" he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck which is strange since things like these aren't usually what gets him acting like this. In fact I don't think I've ever seen him act like this "It's fine Yeonjun don't worry about it. So are we gonna race or not?" I ask deciding to just move past what could turn into an awkward conversation. "Sure, just give me a sec and I'll put on a harness" he says and runs off to do as he's said. 

"Did you see that?" Summer asks, "See what?" I question back. "How he wanted to help you when you get to the other side and how he offered to race you to make you less scared and how embarrassed he got with the fact that he forgot the order you're going in today, how much he lit up when you asked him if he still wanted to race how-" "Okay Summer, okay I get it" I laugh cutting her off. "Well, if you don't ask him out soon then I'll ask him out for you if you want?" she questions trying to help me out. 

"That would be even more embarrassing than just doing it by myself" I say shaking my head and getting nervous just thinking about it. "What would be embarrassing?" Yeonjun asks, this time thankfully not sneaking up me. "Nothing don't worry about it. You ready?" I ask, trying to run away from this conversation. "Yeah um, sure" he says getting even more suspicious with us than he had been before. 

"Just think about it okay?" Summer says when she comes back around after double checking Yeonjun's connection for him and now triple checking mine for an excuse to encourage me one last time to which I just nod and get myself mentally prepared for this zip line as well as the prospects of potentially asking him out myself. "Alright guys, three...two...one...GO!" Summer yells and we both set off with Yeonjun just a second faster than me, already gaining a clear lead. 

"Hey that's not fair!" I yell, laughing at his awkward position which makes him go a lot faster, knowing that I wouldn't dare do something like that. "Hurry up then!" he says going back to sitting normally to which I take advantage of and decide to try out what he had been doing before, zooming past him. "Noona! Not fair!" he whines behind me and tries his best to catch up. "Hurry up then" I tease using his own words against him and this all goes on back and forth until we finally reach the end with me finishing just a second or two before him. 

"I took it easy on you" he says making excuses for his loss. "Sure you did" I taunt, knowing full well that he pretty much did. "That's the last time though! I want a rematch!" he demands, needing to regain a sense of pride. "Maybe next time, come on let's go!" I say excitedly and drag him right along with me. 

The walk to the bungie jumping area isn't too far off and it's spent still bickering with each other about the results of the race. "Fine you won, but I'm gonna go upside down when we go bungie jumping and then I'll win this round" he says and speeds up, trying to get there first. "Hey! You can't win at bungie jumping, you either jump or you don't jump, that's it." I argue, failing to see his logic. 

"Yeah but we can one up each other" he retorts and gets in line. "Fine, then I'll go upside down too" I say once I catch up to him. "Wait really?" he asks, completely surprised that I would even say that, let alone go through with it. 

"Why? Are you trying to get me to back out so you can win?" I say raising a brow at him. "So there is a winner" he says and pokes my side, to which I return with a slap of his arm. "By your logic, yes there is. But if we both go upside down then it's a tie which means I'm still in the lead" I say, satisfied by the outcome, but only if I actually do it.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" he asks. "Is that even a questions? You go first" I say and push him in front of me in line. "Fine but don't chicken out after I go because you think it's 'too scary' he says in air quotes. I give him a sarcastic smile and a wack him in the arm as a response. "OW!" he yell, obviously playing it up. "Well then stop making fun of me and just go" I say showing him it's his turn already.

I watch every step they take in hooking him up to make sure I'll be mentally prepared for my turn. "You got this loser" I yell as encouragement after they put him in position and he does nothing but smile in response. "Alright you ready?" the worker asks and Yeonjun sends a quick nod before they give him a countdown from three and drop him a few seconds afterwards. I lean forward a bit to try to get a better look at him but by his screaming and laughing alone I can really tell he's having a great time.

"Noona oh my gosh that was so fun!" he says coming over and giving me a hug enveloping my whole body, probably in an effort to steady himself on his feet. "You ready?" he asks with a huge smile and I can't help but laugh and say yes after seeing how happy he seems. A few seconds later though, that's another story. 

"Wait Yeonjun, can't I just go the regular way?" I plead, questioning all of my life choices up until this moment. "Nope, you promised me that you would do it if I did" he scolds. "I did no-" "Shhh" he quiets me before telling the guys I'm ready to go. They start placing everything they could possibly need to to keep me from dying on my ankles as well as answer any of my questions and assuring me I'll be fine. 

"Hush you'll be fine, just tell them when you're ready" Yeonjun says, peer pressuring me into doing it. "Fine" I mumble before letting the guys know. As they start to hoist me up into the contraption that drops me I shut my eyes trying to imagine myself anywhere but here. "Noona open your eyes!" to which I shake my head just enough for him to notice, not daring to make any sudden movements. 

"Open your eyes or I'll kiss you" he yells and at that my eyes open as wide as they possibly could seeing him with a smug smile before giving me the countdown. "Three..." "Yeonjun no!" "Two" "No stop I'm done playing get me down!" and before I hear him say one I feel myself drop and get the wind knocked out of me. Once I regain some air in my lungs after the first bounce I start to scream which slowly turns into laughing like crazy just as Yeonjun had done moments before. 

"How was it? It was amazing right?" he says with a huge smile on his face, still so amused at my reactions before the drop. "OW!" he says rubbing his forearm after having hit him for a second time. "Next time listen to me!" I say and try to take a step but stumble backwards a bit, still needing to regain my center of gravity. "Careful there" Yeonjun says pulling me back up by my harness. 

My eyes widen at the proximity between us now and I look up at him and he leans closer until his nose brushes against mine with my eyes closing shut getting flustered by everything about him. "I guess I shouldn't kiss you since you opened your eyes back there huh?" he whispers and before I'm able to process what he's said he's already ten steps ahead of me. 

"Hey!" I yell and jog to catch up with him. "What was that about?" I ask him with a deep crease between my brows which he puts his thumb on to encourage me to stop furrowing my brows. "What was what about?" he asks, playin dumb. 

"You know, all that kissing talk" I say deciding not to shy away from the subject. "Why? Did you want me to kiss you Noona?" he asks with a devilish smile with his eye facing forward keeping an eye on where we're going. "I didn't say that" I retort, unamused with this entire conversation but taking advantage to look up at his side profile nonetheless. "Sure you didn't. Race you to the airport!" he says and takes off running. "Hey! No fair!" I yell and run after him anyways even with no chance in hell of beating him.

"Took you long enough" he says cheekily, already having the chance to catch his breath while waiting for me. "Your legs are longer than mine are" I pant, with my hands on my knees. "You okay?" he asks, placing a hand on my back. "Peachy keen" I say, almost having calmed my breathing down after a minute or so. 

"Drink this" he says and hands me a bottle of water, to which I gulp down half of it. "Thirsty huh?" he says with a smirk and I roll my eyes at him, not bothering to dignify his statement with a verbal response but he takes satisfaction with what little I've given nonetheless. 

"So are you ready?" he asks when I've finally gotten back to normal. "Yeah but I haven't done this one before so I don't know what I should be doing" I admit. "It's fine let me teach you, that's what I'm here for right?" he says with a genuine smile. "Right" I say, matching his smile and he walks me through all of the procedures and safety precautions. 

"Did you want to go with me or did you want one of the other instructors to go with you?" he asks. "How would it be a competition if we went together? I'll go with one of the other instructors silly" I say, surprised by his question and pushing his shoulder a bit to go grab them. "And you better go with one too so it's even!" I yell after him as he jogs over to where they're at. 

Once we get up in the air and are close to jumping I notice that Yeonjun starts to space out a bit. "Are you okay?" I ask concerned as to if he should actually be jumping or not. "Yeah no I'm fine don't worry about it" he says and we both get pulled away from the conversation to get hooked up to each of our respective instructors. 

"Hey!" Yeonjun yells at me before we jump. "What?" I yell back so he knows for sure I've heard him. "Will you go out with me?" he yells and jumps off right after leaving me stunned. "You ready?" the guy I'm jumping with asks me. "Um yeah" I say and he gives me a countdown before we drop out of the plane. 

Falling through the sky is a feeling that I can't even begin to describe, with the wind in my face and seeing how tiny everything looks from up here it's actually insane. I'm not able to focus on that though ever since Yeonjun asked me if I would go out with him. Was he kidding? Was he just trying to tease me? How am I supposed to respond once we finally parachute down and we're back on the ground. 

I'm broken out of my train of thought when the guy behind me asks me if I'm okay since I haven't hardly made a sound. "Yeah I'm fine" I yell back. "Well then let me hear you say YEAH!!!" he yells, obviously trying to make sure that I'm actually not freaking out to which I respond to with a 'HELL YEAH' which seems to make him laugh.

Once we finally get close enough he pulls the tab to the parachute and we slowly but surely make our way back into the field next to the airport we had started out at. "So?" Yeonjun asks after coming over and helping me up off the ground. "So what?" I ask, not sure exactly what he's referring to since I'm still not sure if he meant what he said back there. 

"What's your answer?" he asks with a shy but excited smile, clearly hoping I say yes. Instead I grab one of the straps on his harness and pull him into me and kiss him, only lingering for a few seconds, although I want more. Once I pull back he rests his forehead against mine and whispers "Well I guess I got my answer then" before angling my face back up towards his to kiss me properly. 

Pushing back from him afterwards I push on his chest to create some distance between us as he's grabbed my waist in the meantime. "You better not make me regret this" I say giving him a stern look, making sure he'll take this seriously. 

"Don't worry Noona, I won't let you slip away"

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[divorcemotif]

thinking about the context & format of scrutiny as a literal harassment complaint—delivered to jon's workplace with all the official language of one—with the kind of unavoidable suggestion of sexual violence this episode, given jess' initial impression of him; the gender dynamic, his presence being an incursion into a specifically romantic setting; and what follows being an incredibly violating abuse of power. interested in her decision to go to the institute to complain, and ultimately the trauma & relative futility of that complaint from her perspective, as part of a wider commentary about the sort of. trap that is the idea of the institute's professional academic authority as a legitimizing force. i think there's this interesting angle to what the show has to say about power dynamics and abuses of power in general—and how they are acknowledged and framed by the systems that maintain them—within the depiction of the experience of this kind of corporate interaction on a more abstract horror level.

like the beginning of the show kind of satirizes the way that academic institutions police the value of information and the legitimacy of ppl’s perspectives, through jon’s insistence on his own rational objectivity in the face of all the supposed liars and mentally ill drug users he has to deal with: his entitlement, the fact he has the power to classify and dismiss the statements however he likes and the obvious unfairness of how he does so. the institute’s claim to objectivity & rationality is established early on as something jon is (to an ultimately limited degree) able to hide behind: his need to be taken seriously, his temporary comfort at the price of the arbitrary dismissal of the statement givers' experiences and the demonization of already stigmatized demographics, lol. and like. in scrutiny, I do think at least subconsciously, jon introducing himself with his position at the institute is a way of lessening the apparent severity of what he’s doing to assuage his own guilt, for the moment at least. invoking his position at an academic institution introduces a cover of professionalism to his purpose that serves to distance him from any personal or emotional implications of his actions—he’s not just some creep who’s accosted her at a cafe, he’s from the magnus institute, and he wants her story. what we hear of his pre-statement spiel, in this episode and to floyd matharu on the boat, is an echo of what he’s always said to the live subjects: the polite, professional coerciveness of his language—“whenever youre ready”, “thank you” at the end—made horrifying by the new context; suddenly almost “it is polite to knock”-esque in the way his words foster the illusion of free will while paving only one possible path for the victim. the horror is that the politeness doesnt seem in line with what he's doing, or what it feels like he's doing—a big part of jess' distress is self-doubt, that for all it felt creepy there’s very little concrete about it to justify how much she's been affected! she'd never even heard of the institute before this, but the job is done: she hopes that filing a complaint through an official channel with them will validate her experience as necessary to prompt some sort of action. she says she’s come because she doesn't think the police would take her seriously.

there's a kind of parallel thing in a lot of the early seasons statements where the subject's coming to the institute desperate for protection from whatever horror is threatening them and/or their loved ones. piecemeal, burnt offering; even when people have some preconceived disdain for the magnus institute (it's a running thing that the institute is widely held in some ridicule), it is the respectability & objectivity it purports that ultimately draws them in in their desperation. spurred by the idea that having their experience legitimized might elicit help, or just desperate to be heard and believed by someone in their isolation. but the institute doesnt actually help people, doesnt even explicitly claim to (what's the point in outright lying when you can manipulate people's assumptions with set dressing to achieve the same effect?). the purpose and design of the whole thing is fundamentally self-interested: there's no incentive for them to extend you any understanding or respect. the venue the employees are given to engage with visitors is as subjects, sorting through their most vulnerable moments for useful information and discarding the rest. like in terms of the vibes, it's always struck me that it's when martin tries to get her info down on a form that being at the institute gets to be too much for jess and she runs. consistently at the core of the eye's portrayal in tma is the passivity of the watcher: specifically as an individual in this kind of institutional context the horror becomes not just of having the details of your life known but of having them displayed through that dehumanizing academic lens, stripped of sensitivity and personal significance, presented completely dispassionately. you're sacrificing something of your personhood in pursuit of legitimacy and aid that you'll never be granted. scrutiny like all the statements ends with no closure or explanation for the statement giver, and the dramatic irony of the whole episode is that we know from the start the futility of trying to engage with the institute on its own terms. the consequences jon ultimately faces are all personal: there is no mechanism for him to be professionally punished in the way she imagines, and the institute she is coming to for help is the structure within which he gained the power to do what he did to her

[boltlightning]

ok. saw sweeney todd revival on broadway. i went from not knowing any songs to seeing two productions in one summer so. thoughts:

because im me my immediate takeaway was: it's been a hot second since i saw a show with the orchestra in a pit down in front of the stage AND it was a 26-person orchestra with refreshed orchestrations! it was so crispy and tight and the energy of being able to see the conductor is difficult to put into words. i'm beyond glad they didn't hide the musicians backstage

there were a lot of people there just for josh groban — i was with family whom i persuaded to see this show because of josh groban, and i heard many people in line being like "hey so is josh groban the bad guy? how much does he kill" and there were some changes i feel reflected that. there was so much physical humor, and sometimes lines were added to further give context to someone's actions. i think it works overall, but you could feel the crowd paying less attention when mrs. lovett or sweeney weren't on stage lol

and it's so unsettling! the chorus has some incredible and strange choreography; the light coming through the steps up to the second story is so ominous; the harmonies SOAR through the theater. it's good stuff.

potentially spoily stuff about the production itself below:

and yes OF COURSE the leads were incredible. i feel like len cariou's sweeney is so angry and yet refined, and michael ball's goes hard on the madness and revenge, but groban's is so...sad. he's such a dad, he sings like an angel, it is so uncomfortable when he does something violent. groban's epiphany is HAUNTING and ELECTRIC and the way he interacts with the razors is incredible! and the way he plays a little priest is hilarious but makes it very clear that it is an extension of his mental break. genuinely and eye-opening experience thank you mr. groban

and ashford takes the more emotional cues from the 2007 movie, but makes you actually care about her lmao. like compared to lansbury's frenetic and absent-minded lovett, ashford is laid back and casual and almost lazy about all the weird shit happening around her. she feels bad about locking toby up, sure, but she's still gonna use it as an excuse to get sweeney to pay attention to her! she's funny she's heartfelt she's insane she wants to fuck sweeney todd so fucking bad. it's an incredible combo

and. yeah the rumors are true. she climbs josh groban like a jungle gym the entire time, and on the rare occasion sweeney snaps out of his brooding to reciprocate the flirting, it is HOT. their camaraderie on and off stage is potent. and it works in the other direction too — when he starts to flinch away from her in the second act it's painful.

i do think that the ending sequence in particular is kind of messy up until the last scene in the bake house; there's not a moment to breathe and not in a way that seems intentional? and some of the scenes with the judge/johanna/anthony subplot could have used some love. but. minor qualms. i am biased because kiss me through pretty women is probably my favorite section of the show 😵‍💫

my last takes are: johanna and the beadle in this production are unbelievably good. johanna leaned so into the bird motifs, as well as the idea that she is done waiting around and ready to do violence, much like her father. and the beadle is delightfully amoral and hates his job and delights in the power it affords him. i am so glad they didn't cut parlor songs and let him really eat it up

and. the last shot of sweeney and mrs. lovett is so so so good and i hope they do a professional filmed production of this so people can experience that alone. josh groban's in this it'll sell like hot cakes PLEASE just do it

my first experience with sweeney todd was a local production i saw this june, in a deeply intimate 300-seat theater. i was sitting so close i could've set my drink on the stage. the sweeney was elegant and suave and tortured; mrs lovett was so casually and affably mean. i will think about them forever! and it's very interesting to compare it to the big fuck-off money production considering they both got roasted for having a more emotional sweeney!! here's the theater's 40 second promo for it!!!

nothing will ever replace the original soundtrack in my heart. but i'm gonna be unwell about this revival for a bit

anyway that's all i got!! thanks for reading if you read this. attend the tale and all that (obligatory tag for @r-osehips thank you for the interest ❤️)

[pythiasian]

Ben Affleck: Greek Tragedy

I'm fascinated by his tragedy.

I was watching this 2006 interview of Ben Affleck on The View, where he talks about his role as the actor George Reeves, in Hollywoodland. He's just won "Best Actor" for this role at the Venice Film Festival.

Interviewer: "It's a story about George Reeves, who played Superman on TV, and then his mysterious death. When you first read the script, what were your thoughts?" Ben Affleck: "Uhm, you know, when I first read the script, I thought, oh, this is a great role. I hope they hire me. That was kind of my first thought, to be honest, because it was just such a clearly powerful thing.

The guy was so famous for being Superman and so uncomfortable with that. He didn't like it, wanted to be a serious actor, and was so pained by that. He had this kind of...humiliation...but he bore it with such dignity, and there's something really tragic about that. Everywhere he went, all the time, he was reminded of the thing that just made him shudder and feel inadequate and humiliated. He had to kind of keep it together. He always felt that he would have been a greater actor. He wanted to be a serious actor. He had the talent.

It’s a powerful parallel and adds a layer of poignancy to Ben Affleck’s career. His understanding of George Reeves’ struggle—the feeling of being trapped in a role, the yearning for artistic legitimacy, and the humiliation of being reduced to a caricature—is deeply personal, reflecting an intimate knowledge of how fame can become both a gift and a curse. Affleck’s empathy for Reeves wasn’t just an actor interpreting a role; it was a man who seemed to foresee, or perhaps already experience, the toll fame can take on one's sense of self.

Ben’s own career arc echoes this. Early fame as a heartthrob and an Oscar winner (with Good Will Hunting) set the stage for great expectations, but his rocky path through Hollywood—with roles that received both acclaim and ridicule—mirrors the tragic hero’s journey. The highs of Argo and winning another Oscar as a director show his desire to be taken seriously as an artist, similar to how Reeves longed for acknowledgment beyond the Superman persona.

But then there’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016), where Affleck stepped into the role of an icon, only to face a backlash that was entirely outside his control. His portrayal was nuanced, bringing depth to a darker, weary Bruce Wayne, but the context of a poorly received movie franchise and relentless media scrutiny overshadowed the effort. The “Sad Affleck” meme became emblematic, almost like a chorus in a Greek tragedy, amplifying his pain to the audience.

Affleck’s life, like a tragic hero’s, is full of hubris and vulnerability. His battles with alcoholism, the exhaustion evident in his interactions with the paparazzi, and the way his personal struggles have been turned into public spectacle—these are all elements of tragedy where the hero is brought low, not solely by his own actions, but by the forces and expectations around him. The constant visibility and pressure to maintain composure, while also battling inner demons, reflect the same “humiliation with dignity” he described in Reeves.

It’s haunting, really. Ben’s trajectory feels like a modern tragedy, his personal and professional struggles intertwined with the roles he’s taken on. The idea of being haunted by a role, as Reeves was with Superman and Affleck with Batman, is such a vivid metaphor for the curse of fame. It’s as if both men were trapped in their own armor—symbols of strength that ended up shackling them.

(wonderful A+ GIF by @batfleckgifs)

[arakawa-division]

Alexis's Thoughts on Suginami Division

Ryuko Umemoto

As Alexis looks at the photo of the animator, her tone is measured and cautious.

"This man, his past as a yakuza member is very… concerning. It's not easy to leave that life behind, and it makes me wonder about his motivations. Is he truly out, or is this just another angle? His current role as an animator, though, that's a step in the right direction. It shows a desire to create rather than destroy, to contribute something positive to society."

She then folds her arms, her expression serious. "But let’s be clear, I’m not one to take unnecessary risks. If dealing with him can be avoided, then that's the path I'll choose. However, if our paths do cross in the D.R.B., I'll be ready. I'll approach him with the same strategy I apply to any potential threat: with vigilance, preparedness, and the resolve to protect my team at all costs."

Maki Umemoto

"Professor Umemoto. He is certainly an intriguing figure. As an educator, he has my respect. It’s a noble profession, shaping minds and imparting wisdom. His academic approach could provide valuable insights, especially in a strategic context like the D.R.B. I can only imagine the difficulties he has in being the older sibling of a wayward younger brother. I wonder if this is what my brother had to deal with when it came to me and my younger sister..."

"Aside from that, his actions against Chuohku by stirring up anti-government resentment... it's a delicate matter. While I don't condone inciting unrest, I understand the impulse to stand up for one's beliefs. It's a trait that can be both admirable and concerning, depending on the context. While I'm just a photographer, capturing moments of truth, I can appreciate someone who seeks to reveal the bigger picture, even if it means stirring the waters."

Shuu Edogawa

"Investigator Edogawa... he's certainly one of the more... unique individuals I've worked with," Alexis begins, her voice tinged with a mix of amusement and professionalism. "He and I first crossed paths on a case concerning a jilted lover. He needed photographic evidence for his investigation, and my skills with the camera were a perfect fit. Truthfully, I had no real reason to accept, but... well, I figured getting contact within Suginami would be beneficial, so I accepted."

"Truthfully, it was a straightforward job: capture the truth in a frame, make sure it was both true and infallible, and then deliver the proof. We worked well together, each of us playing to our strengths. Since then, he's called on me for similar assignments. We're not friends, not exactly. We're just two professionals who found a rhythm that works."

"As far as Shuu, himself, goes, he's, as I stated, very unique. He's got eccentricities, sure, but in this line of work, it's the eccentric ones who often see what others miss. His methods might be unconventional, but they're effective. I respect that. As long as our business interactions remain mutually beneficial, I see no reason to change the dynamic. After all, in a city like this, it's good to have connections in various circles, even the eccentric ones. ...Sometimes, especially them."

Sazanka Zombeez

"This team... it seems like their desire to enter this competition is less about winning, and more of a desire to reconnect with their loved ones. It gives them a powerful common cause. That kind of passion can make them unpredictable and, in many ways, dangerous. It's best to proceed with caution when dealing with them. Each of them may seem different, but I can tell they each have their own tricks up their sleeves."

[mad-hunts]

✿ :)

hellooo, and happy sunday, @lvebug!! first, i just wanted to say thank you for being interested in barton's character + interactions with him and that i think andie seems like honestly SUCH a cool character. but without further ado, let me get started on this relationship meme and give some context behind the different things that are chosen: bolded dynamics are ones that i could definitely see, italicized ones are ones that i could maybe see, and striked-through dynamics are things that i can't really envision between our characters.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other 

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other 

okay!! so, now that i'm done with the chart, let me just put a little disclaimer here: just because i might've marked something on here doesn't mean that it's set in stone, as i know that dynamics between characters can sometimes change over time and if you have ideas of your own as to what kind of relationship they could have, then i'd love to hear them and we could definitely plot them out together if you'd want to do that. i don't want to make you feel stuck with these things after all BUT for now, i just wanted to sort of explain why i marked friends and frenemies on here, as i feel like having some background behind that could help. but it has to do with the ' fake friends ' tag that i marked in bold in the friendship section and whenever i marked it, i was thinking that because barton does sometimes make friends with non-villainous people to curb his loneliness or sometimes just because he feels like he has to ( for instance, if they were working in close proximity for a while with other, he would not want to appear suspicious around them ) and so there could potentially be a kind of artifical and/or just sort of untraditional friendship between them on barton's part. though, i'm sure if they were to become friendly towards one another, that andie would probably not participate in the whole ' fake friends ' thing so i really only marked that for him.

or, i could maybe see barton trying to form a friendship with her because of how their circumstances are, but ending up figuring out that... huh, they really don't seem to share a lot in common because of how barton is and as a result, he inadvertently begins to dislike her secretly inside since he's kinddd of a hater ( okay he is very much one LOL ) even though there is nothing wrong with andie as a person and thus, that is how the frenemies tag was brought about. as for her possibly being a good influence on him — i could perhaps see him helping her out with one of her events in the case because he got dragged there or something, though to be honest, i'm nottt entirely sure whether that is something that andie would do so please correct me if i'm wrong at any point during this little discussion thing. but yeah! him being a bad influence would be him not doing overtly illegal things around her, of course, but perhaps victimless things around her because he obviously doesn't want her to catch on that he's a literal murderer... like, perhaps trespassing, orrr stealing? IDK, feel free to tell me your thoughts on that because it seems like andie is a pretty incorruptible person, but barton is also like one of the worst villains in gotham in the way that he simply does NOT care and will do bad things just because he can 💀 so perhaps that could work and perhaps not?? like i said, feel free to share any thoughts you might have with me about this either in dm's or in the comments, as i'm totally open to discussion but other than that... i think them having a conflict of ideology is arguably very likely to happen and would cause them to butt heads + them having a hero - villain dynamic. i could alsooo kind of see barton slipping up eventually if they were to become friends, or artifical / untraditional friends in his case, and him turning into an enemy of hers later on so that's where i got that one from (': but yesss, i think that's pretty much it, so i hoped you liked this little meme and feel free to shoot me a dm or comment on here if you'd like to discuss / explore other possible dynamics between andie and barton!!

[bucketofchum]

I'm having thoughts about the memory loss moment again in StarTumu AU

Don't wanna get too into it here but just some context

This is after Atumu came back from his 2 missing years, and he seemed to be recovering well, physically and mentally. He really pushed himself to start working again while barely recovered bc he saw their financial situation wasn't great, and felt guilty about it bc he had been gone for all this time and now, in convalescence, he was just useless.

In getting back to work and being back up and about, he runs into a familiar face. An older woman who used to be his boss (when he was like 15) and used to take advantage of him, and he immediately mentally regresses. The woman is still pleased that even 10 years later she still has this power over him and even though he's older, he doesn't seem to have changed at all.

She starts a secret relationship-like thing with him, mostly revelling in that he actually still listens to her. At this point, Atumu and Star are married (Star married Atumu very quickly once Atumu regained consciousness after his coma so that was a whole thing as well), and the woman relishes in the fact that Atumu would obey her even though he's together with Startop now

Anyhow, this secret illicit relationship causes Atumu to mentally regress so much that Star thinks Atumu is relapsing due to the 2-year-missing traumas - doesn't realise it's from something that is currently actively happening rn

It escalates to a point where Atumu is almost completely dissociated in his every day life that he's entirely mentally not present and just his body is going through the motions of life.

Star tries to get him professional psychiatric help - this ends up getting him hospitalized and it doesn't seem to be better. He's allowed to visit once a week but Atumu's lack of recognition is fucking heart breaking. They have him on some combination of sedatives that leaves him very zombie-like. Brain empty, no thoughts.

But at least these weeks outside of any interactions with Carol (the woman) allows his brain to do what it does best: repress traumas. The sedatives they give him at the ward leave him zombie-like, but they give him some stimulants when Star visits to he can be not-zombie-like.

It's really really really heartbreaking for Star at first seeing Atumu in this ward with other patients who are geriatric and experiencing dementia. Atumu doesn't even recognize Star. This was the whole "Who are you?" Thing that absolutely wrecked Star.

In tears, Star tries talking to Atumu. "Do you know who I am? My name is Startop.... Antoinette...do you know who you are? You're Atumu.... Antoinette... Do you know why we have the same last name? We are married..." It's really heartbreaking

Then the stimulants finally kick in but it's a terrifying thing for Star cuz he just sees Atumu kind of convulsing in full body spasms. He's contemplating getting the hospital staff to help but eventually Atumu comes to and he seems almost like himself for the first time in....idk months? He had had maybe 2-3 days of clarity in the past 4 months or so. He sees Startop - there is recognition in his eyes, and he asks "Startop?"

In this moment of clarity, Atumu asks where they are. A hospital... Atumu's first reaction is concern. Is Startop alright? Star explains to Atumu that they aren't here for Star...they are here for Atumu.

I don't recall exactly how their conversation went, but eventually Atumu recalls Carol and his brain has a really hard time processing this bc the only way he's able to function is if his brain represses those memories, but in this moment, he is forced to recall them. It doesn't go so well and he starts to relapse again and the hospital staff intervene to sedate him again and there goes Star's husband as he knew him. :(

This is another moment that never gets a neat resolution...

Oi I ended up getting too deep into it. Didn't intend to do that

[writergirl3]

when their s/o is getting talked ab on social media? like either in a bad way or good

Thanks for the request! I also added in some brief head canons about how each member is on social media, too, just for context.

Enjoy! 🧡⭐️

4 Town x Reader And Social Media

Robaire;

Robaire uses social media moderately. He likes it for interacting with 4 Townies and showing off a fit or two, but that’s about it.

Having a public relationship with you as the frontman of 4 Town isn’t easy, and he doesn’t actively look for opinions about your partnership.

If someone criticizes you, though? It won’t go unnoticed. He tries not to do anything brash and keeps you unaware of the negativity, if possible.

Instead of virtually pouncing on the hater in question, he’ll let his professional side take over. It helps him distance himself from the unkindness, making it less personal and invasive, somehow.

He’ll block them from any accounts he can and tell the boys to do the same. He’ll also let his management know.

Also, if he sees any repeatedly mean behavior, he might even post a screenshot of a post and remind 4 Townies to be kind and report any similar activity they find online.

If people are nice about you, though? He’ll definitely be liking all the positive content about you. He doesn’t really reply, at most he’ll send a heart emoji or something. He definitely takes screenshots though, and shows them to you when he comes across them on his feed.

Jesse;

Jesse’s pretty chill when it comes to social media. He takes it or leaves it, really. It’s the grandpa in him, what can I say?

He’ll casually scroll through his feeds, liking things here and there. He doesn’t really reply to 4 Townies a whole bunch, but likes their posts a lot.

But, if someone is being mean about you or anyone else in his life? He will do everything he can to tear that person down.

Although Jesse is chill, he can get a temper on him at times. For that reason, he won’t interact with the troll directly. He’ll likely make a note of the @ and send it on to 4 Town’s social media management team. They run the joint account, and have the power to have any trolls blocked from all social media accounts associated with you and the band.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to fight for you. He just doesn’t want to waste time on people who don’t deserve it. Instead of coming up with sassy comebacks to their hating, he could be out on a fun date or something with you. He won’t hide the negativity from you, but certainly won’t bring it up in conversation or anything. He doesn’t value the words of strangers, and leaves it up to other people to deal with online negativity. Boyband privileges, right?

Plenty of 4 Townies love, you, though, and that more than makes up for any bad stuff he finds about you online. He’ll like and repost any nice things he finds about you, and honestly, most of Jesse’s replies on posts are confirmations of how amazing you are.

Aaron T;

Oh boy. T honestly shouldn’t be allowed on social media. If it weren’t for verification, you’d think his accounts were fake or something.

He’s for sure one of those people who puts what should go on stories onto a whole post. He completely ignored all aspects of his social media training from 4 Town’s early days. He loves social media, and wants to use it how he wants.

Now, if he comes across anything even slightly negative about you? The whole fandom will know about it. He’s started full-blown wars on Twitter that escalated so far, he was banned from his account for a few days.

T’s obviously a nice guy who never has a bad word to say about anyone. Unless they try and say a bad word about you. He’s the king of brutal comebacks and will not rest until the hater in question apologises or is wiped from the face of the online earth.

Because T gets so caught up in fighting for you, he sometimes forgets to communicate with you about the hate. He won’t really have the brain space to hide it from you, especially if the evidence is all over his feed. So, he usually has to console you for a while afterwards and, hypocritically, tells you not to take any notice of them.

If someone says something nice about you, though? Except avid agreements in all-caps, with enough emojis to give you a headache. T’s also always reposting cute fan edits of the two of you, whether they’re artistic or pure cringe.

Aaron Z;

Z’s social media accounts pretty much lay dormant most of the time. He finds the whole idea of social media kinda icky and a waste of time. If he weren’t in 4 Town, he wouldn’t touch the internets with a barge pole.

However, the only time he really resurrects his socials is in defense of your honour. If someone’s said something bad about you online, he’ll get a heads-up from T. Immediately, Z will look up the user and scan over whatever the hater has to say.

Replying to trolls is like a reflex for Z. Well, it is when it involves you. They say that the truth hurts, and Z’s burns. Anyone who dares to say a single bad thing about you can expect a well-worded one-liner that’ll make them live to regret ever opening their mouth in the first place.

This has got Z into some trouble with management. He never gets carried away with his comebacks by any means, he always keeps himself in check so he doesn’t cross a line. But proportionally, his profile is literally just replies to trolls and the usual publicity posts that he has to put out. His social media team don’t like this much, but Z doesn’t care.

He’ll do everything he can to hide any online negativity from you. He’s also super paranoid about the privacy of your own socials and never really tags you in anything to spare your privacy.

If someone says something nice, though, he will definitely like their post. He’s also secretly obsessed with compilation videos that 4 Townies have pieced together from bits of footage from T and the others. He likes to watch them whenever you’re apart for comfort.

Tae Young;

Tae is slightly less active on his socials than T (which isn’t hard, let’s be real), but this guy loves social media. Especially Instagram; his feed is so aesthetically pleasing, and he takes lots of time over it.

If he ever encounters any meanness directed at you, he’s actually as brutal as bother the Aarons. Buuut, he won’t respond publicly. He’ll message them privately and put them in their place, but is by no means above sharing a screenshot of the chat if the troll continues to be rude.

There’s something really funny when this happens. Tae’s feed is full of animal shelter infographics, tumblr-esque photos of sweet treats and nature, and then suddenly, there’s the odd screengrab of his interactions. It’s kinda a Jekyll and Hyde thing, and 4 Townies actually love seeing the other side of Tae that’s reserved for haters.

Tae will try and hide any negativity from you, but it doesn’t usually work because you’ll find evidence of it on his feed. Like T, though, he’ll always comfort you the best he can.

When it comes to nice things about you, though, Tae will for sure shout out every bit of positivity that he finds. He’ll enthusiastically reply to these posts and share them, too. He also posts you a lot on his socials, and usually spends lots of time liking and replying to nice comments about you.

---

Musing Meaninglessly Masterlist

[stuffedeggplants]

Captain Maze and General Zey (and Skirata)

A number of years ago I read an article where a woman’s husband asked why she was divorcing him, and her response was "because you don’t do the dishes.” She could probably say a lot about why she was leaving him, but that simple line encapsulated the fissure at the heart of their relationship in very few words.

There’s a line in Imperial Commando that does a similar amount of legwork for the relationship between Captain Maze and General Zey. It’s when Skirata is upset with Maze for having brought Zey to Mandalore, and Maze says he’s helping Zey “because he used to make the caf in the office.” 

What Skirata says next, “give you [Maze] a pot of caf...and it’s okay to send men to their deaths,” is also a great window into his own mindset because it shows how differently he’s interpreting the relationship between Zey and Maze contrary to the reality experienced by the two men themselves.

When Zey makes Maze coffee, Skirata sees that interaction as putting a coin in a machine with the expectation that something you want will pop out of that machine. It’s about gaining influence over another person, and using that influence to further your own interests. Because Maze is already bound by virtue of his rank and position to cooperate with Zey, Zey doesn’t actually need to do anything to guarantee that cooperation. Zey has authority, and Maze is loyal to the authority of his position. 

So when Zey makes coffee for his staff, Skirata is thinking that Zey is after another kind of authority and something else. It’s what was in the back of his mind when Skirata wants to hear that Maze “didn’t [save Zey] out of loyalty.” Skirata thinks that Zey is after the same kind of loyalty--that has nothing to do with the chain of command and is solely about the character of the other person--that Skirata himself has secured from Omega, Jusik, and others in his circle of influence. Because Skirata has their loyalty (first given as their training sergeant then earned on a personal level), he uses it to influence their actions, and he hates the idea of a Jedi exercising the kind of power and influence that he himself exercises, especially over clones (even ones Skirata himself doesn’t actually care about.) (I think this might also interfere with Skirata’s self image, which is somehow threatened by Zey actually respecting Maze, caring about him as a person, and having influence over him. Not sure.) 

This quote also provides insight into how Skirata views the Maze and Zey relationship and is more context for why he says what he says in response to Maze mentioning the caf:

Skirata opens with a cold “oh so you’re incapable of doing your damn job?”, not thinking for a moment that Zey may have failed to execute Order 66 because he was just like Niner, Atin, and Darman and disobeyed out of a strong personal bond or belief. It literally doesn’t even occur to him. He just assumes Maze is a dog that won’t hunt. He then figures that Zey only survived because he managed to manipulate Maze in the moment with nice words, and that Maze fell for it. Again, it does not occur to Skirata that Maze and Zey have any kind of relationship outside purely professional or selfishly utilitarian, and that’s the background Skirata is coming into this conversation with.

Mazes sees Zey’s habit of making coffee for the office completely differently, and he says as much, telling Skirata that it was a mundane detail yet told him all he needed to know about Zey’s character. Zey respects his subordinates not because he ‘has’ to, but because they’re people. He doesn’t see a reflected power differential in the act of making coffee, and he doesn’t expect his people to be servants for him. I think that’s notable in the context of Maze being Zey’s aid, so Maze is already very involved with Zey’s schedule and daily affairs to the point where it could be easy for Zey to wade across professional boundaries and tell Maze to do things beyond his job description that cross more into ‘personal servant’ territory, but we are never told that is something Zey does. He never abuses his position like that. (For all I know Zey could totally be within his rights to tell Maze to get him caf and it wouldn’t be a big deal-- I’m not saying that’s tantamount to crossing a line. I’m saying that it’s kind of nice that Zey doesn’t ask that, and it’s great that Zey doesn’t ask him to do anything that would cross the line either.)

Zey doesn’t make coffee because it’s a low-key ploy for influence; he’s legitimately just being nice with no expectation that there will be some benefit to himself later down the road. I don’t think Zey even thinks about the fact that he makes coffee for his staff at all.

Moving away from the caf conversation, in True Colors, we see that Zey offers to help Maze if he ever wants to pursue an “alternative career.” There are no qualifications to that statement. Zey doesn’t say ‘after the war is over’ or ‘after we capture Grievous,’ it’s an unqualified offer to help Maze--one of only 100 Alpha ARCs--desert the army whenever he wants to. This is not something Zey would do if his relationship with Maze was squarely built on the question “how can I use him to benefit myself?” Buried in that offer I think is the recognition of agency and individuality of a person who was born to have neither. Maze has always been a person to Zey, and Maze knows it. 

The offer is also a sign of how ‘flexible’ Zey can be, but for a different reason than usual. Throughout the book he cuts Skirata a lot of slack to do what he wants how he wants. (He says it directly when he wants Skirata to be honest with him, also admitting that he doesn’t have a clue what Skirata’s ARCs are up to half the time, illustrating just how much slack Skirata really does have.) Zey is open to giving people leeway to do things that’ll make it easier for them to get their jobs done within reason, but with his offer to Maze he’s also being flexible (a huge understatement lol) for compassionate moral reasons. Ultimately he’d be breaking the rules because of something he believes is wrong, which is later what Maze does when he refuses to execute Order 66 because he believes Zey should have been given a fair trial. It violates his sense of justice.

Maze not following Order 66 is kind of a big deal. Coruscant--the seat of the Republic--has just been attacked, then there is (to outside appearances) a coup followed by emergency orders (from literally the highest authority Maze has) to eliminate all members of the organization that launched the coup. Maze doesn’t just let Zey go, he actively helps him escape and then travels with him to ensure his safety, even bringing him to Mandalore. Whatever Skirata thinks about this doesn’t even factor in, Maze is taking the responsibility for his own life and Zey’s life into his hands. And Maze did have a choice here-- he could have let Zey go, then played dumb and continued as part of the Imperial military. He could also have let Zey go then run off himself, but he doesn’t do any of that, and Zey realizes the gravity of what Maze is doing and how he’s willingly putting himself at risk. That’s what’s coming across in Zey’s line here below. 

Zey also makes a point to identify Maze as an equal, and while I don’t think Zey ever thought Maze wasn’t, what he’s referring to here I think is more about neither of them having authority or control over the other. Maze is not less important than Zey, and Zey is not in a position to treat Maze like he is (nor would he.) The moment Maze shot a meter to the side of where Zey was standing during Order 66, they both knew that they were on a kill list and had lost their positions and ranks. The circumstances are awful, but it makes them equals in a way that they weren’t before. (After Order 66, I think Maze is also the one whose skills they’re going to need to rely on quite a lot in order to survive. Not that Zey isn’t capable, but what Maze can do will play a big part in their survival and there’s no ignoring his abilities and importance here. Basically they’ll both be useful but in different ways and will have to rely on each other.) 

“I’ve got to consider his welfare” reads to me as an obligation from Zey in light of what Maze has done. It’s not that Zey didn’t care about Maze before--he clearly did otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered to offer to help him desert, and we’ve never seen Zey be callous about his men’s lives--but now it’s a moral imperative. 

I also want to talk about this part here: 

While I think Zey not sensing Maze’s emotions is largely a reflection of Maze’s training for combat and very demanding/intense situations, a smaller part could be because Maze has in some ways already decided what he’s going to do before he consciously knows what he’s going to do. Maze isn’t angry, worried, or conflicted because there’s nothing to decide, so Zey senses nothing. 

Maze didn’t know it at the time, but all his reading on law and political philosophy (and how the military fits into that) was bringing him to a specific moment. When Maze receives Order 66, he knows his orders are to kill, but he spends time talking to Ordo and then tries to arrest Zey instead of just shooting him immediately. (Ordo even wonders to himself why Maze hasn’t just killed the guy yet.) In developing his own ideas about what is just, Maze had already ensured that he was never going to follow Order 66. I think this is somewhat foreshadowed when Ordo asks Maze if he has a sense of injustice earlier in the book, and Maze quietly answers that he does and walks off. The point of that scene is two-fold, first to tell Ordo something about how other clones are very much people just like he is, and second to lay a bit of groundwork for Maze’s actions during Order 66.

At the same time I’m not sure how much Maze actually believed that he could arrest Zey? I think Maze saying that at all was him having a final moment of wanting to believe in the system he’s part of, of believing that that system is just, but he already knows it isn’t. (Zey asking Maze to kill him is the death knell of that last idealistic moment.) I also think he didn’t actually want to kill Zey-- from working together so closely over the course of the war they started to become friends, and Zey was the one who’d make the caf in the office. 

[masterthespianduchovny]

I’m going to be honest: I dislike Nate right now.

And that’s perfectly fine.

I understand that this show loves to redeem people, however, as I said in another post, you can only redeem someone if there are negative feelings and/or you believe that person wronged someone or whatever. If you have positive feelings and excuse what they did, what exactly are they being redeemed for?

Despite loving Rebecca’s character, when I rewatch season one, I don’t like her at times. I dislike a lot of what she did back then. It doesn’t matter that I know she tells the truth eventually, the stuff she did was still fucked up. I’m not going to preemptively excuse her actions because I know the end goal.

Take Jamie for instance, his behavior was not okay. We know why he behaves that way, but it still wasn’t justified. We are still allowed to dislike him and what he did then. We talk about the negative effects of the bullying Nate received from the players, yet some try to excuse Nate’s bullying and his actions?

Wrong is wrong. Jamie being verbally abused by his dad didn’t justify how he treated others just like how Nate’s father (and bullying by others) is emotionally abusive doesn’t justify Nate’s behavior.

Although we understand the context, Nate IS being a fucking backstabbing asshole right now. Some may hate to hear that, but this isn’t an unfair opinion or unflattering light of him. This is exactly how he’s behaving.

There are some who has a ton of sympathy for Nate, but I’m not one of them. Please believe, I do hold some sympathy for him, but I have a limit.

So here’s reasons why Nate is on my shitlist and I’ll wait until he’s actually redeemed to forgive him.

1. Calling Rebecca a shrew. It’s not the fact that he literally called Rebecca this, but that he immediately verbally attacked the woman. We can say, “oh no, she’s the owner so he had reasons to think…”

No, Nate literally attacked Rebecca for no reason at all. She had little to no interaction with him and has never disrespected or harmed him in anyway, yet he has these intense feelings of dislike in the moment based off what exactly?

Nate attacked Rebecca because she is a woman. If you disagree, what other reason it might be? The reason I believe it was due to her gender is because she’s been defanged so to speak. So he doesn’t fear her like he used to. But Nate also practices in casual misogyny ie his shoe remark to Rebecca and Keeley. That may not seem like a big thing, but how is that an involuntary response??? With him believing he got fired, he doesn’t wait for answers, he immediately attacks her. And I had to ask myself, would he have done this with a man? With someone like Rupert? No fucking way. Nate can’t even directly challenge Ted who is a ray of sunshine, but attacks someone who he literally ran away from in fear in the pilot. Although Nate respects power, he respects male power the most. He skipped over Ted and Beard and went straight towards Rebecca. The fact that this even happened has always been disturbing to me. And Nate is fucking lucky that he hasn’t said any of his comments to old Rebecca (not age, but personality. 🥺) because she would have fired him. Only due to her relationship with Ted and him getting to let her guard down and find her old self that she frowned and shrugged Nate’s comments off. Most bosses at the very least would’ve talked to Nate and he didn’t get even that.

2. Projecting his daddy issues onto Ted. I understand that nate is going through some tough shit and has been for literally decades, however, that doesn’t mean make someone your stand in dad because they were nice and kind. Ted treats Nate like he does the other coaches, but Nate wants a special and unique relationship that will never exist. Ted is not his father and he didn’t ask for the job or the responsibilities.

I understand that people go through shit and latch onto those who made the rough times easier. I get that. However, all this animosity, scheming, and resentment because Ted isn’t giving the attention he wants. That fucking unfair to Ted. He didn’t ask or sign up to be Nate’s father figure. Yet he’s being punished for not being something he never wanted to be. Never even thought about it.

And because I’ve seen/partially experienced this shit, people getting mad at you for not being who they projected onto, it makes me upset at Nate. Because people like this really do become resentful and manipulative and that is not okay despite their own hurt that they’re dealing with. Why does the person you projected on have to suffer for something they’re unaware of and have no obligation to fulfill?

Nate isn’t just trying to blow up Ted’s professional career, he’s doing it via one of the cruelest ways: using his mental health against him. Thereby exploiting Ted’s trust in him.

Ted has literally changed Nate’s life for the better and rather than have a man to man talk with him, he cowardly tries to sabotage Ted in one of the worst ways imaginable.

3. His cognitive dissonance about how coaching works!!!

This seriously irritates me because, on some level, Nate knows that the very system he’s criticizing is how it works across ALL team sports and with reason.

He wants to be a damn head coach soooo bad—does he think ideas, plans, plays, etc only comes from head coaches???

What does he think assistants are there for?

For those who aren’t familiar with sports and coaching, literally every team sport has a head coach and then assistants under them. These assistant typically specialize in a given thing.

In American football, I believe there are like defensive coaches, strength and conditioning coaches, etc. there are coaches who watch a lot of tapes to learn the opposition and how to make plays to hold them exploit their weakness and tailor plays around that.

Like on the professional level there are so many types of coaches and, hell, not all of them want to be head coaches. Some of the greatest coaching minds aren’t head coaches.

For example, the American basketball team the Chicago bulls fired their coach Doug Collins in like 1989, I think. He was a good coach, but one of his assistant coaches had a basketball IQ out of this world. Doug refused to listen to him, but management fully supported this assistant coach. Now the other assistant coach they were grooming to take over, Phil Jackson, if you’ve heard of him, DID listen to this basketball genius. So much so that when he became head coach after Doug was fired, he continued to implement The Triangle offense that came from this basketball genius, which Phil was known for until he retired.

Nate’s upset that Ted gets all the credit for if they win, he does realize that Ted also gets all the blame for if they lose. Ted has always highlighted his coaching staff and everyone who helped him. He has always stressed that he wouldn’t be where he is without them. And when he loses, he takes full ownership. He doesn’t pass the blame at all.

Does Nate seem like someone who’d take ownership for losing?

Does Nate seem like someone, at this moment, who’d appropriately give credit to assistant or anyone else who helped him?

Would he even listen?

What makes Ted a great coach is that he gives others opportunities to step up to the plate and if/when they succeed, he allows them to shine.

Ted sees the fuller picture, for the most part, and knows how to address his weaknesses and who’s stronger than him in what area. He realized that the team needed a presence like Roy on the team. He knew he needed someone like beard who could absorb insane amounts of knowledge. He saw that Nate had potential coaching ability.

But Nate doesn’t understand the importance or value of this. He also doesn’t understand how instrumental Ted’s philosophy has been in transforming the culture of the team. That this is also a reason why the team is playing better.

So like, yeah, I’ll forgive Nate when he’s redeemed. But these three things are what really irks me about him. Just because I understand why he is acting this way doesn’t mean I have to excuse it when he’s being a dick to others, complaining about shit only due to his ego, and doing fucked up shit like leaking someone’s mental health struggles so he can gain an advantage over them.

Does he think that if Ted leaves/gets fired that he’s getting the job??? I mean hopefully whatever he has going on with Rupert works out (before it inevitably goes wrong) because this isn’t going to turn out how he thinks it will.

[commander-diomika]

[Image ID: Screenshot of a tumblr reply from user @weareallfromearth ​​ saying “Holy shit I would V much like to know what you’d do with ZolfWilde.” End ID]

This was in response to me tag rambling that if Alex “I don’t Actually Have That Much Experience in Courtship” Newall and Ben “I just Realised I’m Too Straight For This” Meredith don’t know what to do with Zolf/Wilde, they should hand the ship over to me. 

*rubs my gay little hands together.*

I initially characterized them offhandedly as Enemies-to-Lovers but that’s not quite it, is it? On reflection I would say it’s more of an Opposites Attract situation.

Oscar Wilde, as re-imagined in the RQG universe, is a homme fatale; a dangerous, attractive man, skilled in encouraging people to underestimate him, wearing different masks, never quite being able to trust or be trusted by anyone.

There is NO personal/professional line for Wilde. He lives his work, and his work is subterfuge and interpersonal manipulation. (whether or not he started this way in his field as a journalist, or was forced to become this way by the changes in his world, is another post.) He is a person who either cares very deeply what people think of him, or is has decided that manipulating what people think of him is the way to get what he wants, and from the outside it makes no difference.

Zolf Smith does not care what people think of him. He isn’t even skilled at being kind and empathetic to people he cares about; he has no time for emotional manipulation or genuine charm. He doesn’t even have a fantastic grasp on his OWN feelings, let alone other people’s. He’s grounded, disinterested in frippery or appearances. Which is why Zolf and Wilde started out so deeply at odds with one another.

Despite the differences in the interpersonal approaches, they have plenty of common ground.

They are both deeply dedicated to a cause. They care about their work to the exclusion of all else. They are both pragmatists who have their own internal moral code, and are willing to bend or break other people’s rules in order to get the job done. They are fundamentally good people. Despite their rocky beginnings, they can respect each other because of these things.

And they might have maintained their mutually disdainful, begrudgingly respectful working relationship and that could have been the sum total... Except then the world fell apart. The Meritocratic organisation was initially compromised, then disintegrated. The blue vein plague isolated everyone and made it even harder to trust supposed allies. The Cult of Hades was on everyone’s ass making their life difficult, the other PCs disappeared off the face of the planet. Zolf and Wilde ended up in a situation where they had no one else they could trust.

Familiarity breeds contempt, but maybe if the contempt is already there, it builds Something Else. Wilde was stripped of his magic in a way that made it much harder for him to keep people at a distance and (pardon the pun) project the illusion of the debonair playboy. Zolf would have had the chance to see through Wilde’s masks, and get a better understanding of what parts of Wilde were a calculated tactic, and what was his genuine self.

Whatever betrayal transpired that gave Wilde his scar and hardened him, Zolf was privy to. He was either there and saw it happen, or he was close enough in the aftermath to see Wilde properly vulnerable for the first time in their friendship. Hell, maybe Zolf was the one who rescued him and patched him up. That was a chance for Zolf to realise that this insufferable man is a friend who he cares about deeply. At this point, he’s cared for awhile, but has been too wrapped up with his own spiritual difficulties to have space to admit that to himself.

And Wilde, oh Wilde, he’s desperate to be seen and known and loved, but he’s never allowed himself. He’s never felt SAFE to. He doesn’t let people get close, treats every conversation as a battle to be won. His safety and his power lies in being admired, but never loved. So even as trust and fondness for Zolf blossoms within him, he won’t for a second allow himself to hope that the fondness is reciprocated

With all that out of the way, this is my version of events.  

Wilde is a slut (affectionate), and Zolf is gray-ace, so if there’s any bridging of that gap in terms of physical intimacy, it has to be from Zolf’s side. Giving canon a tender massage into place, that first instance of Zolf grabbing Wilde by the collar changes. (This happens on the Vengeance after Zolf has taught Wilde to steer the ship). Zolf drags Wilde down to say “I’m glad to see you perked up.” That moment now involves a whiskery kiss on Wilde’s cheek, and the man would be absolutely FLOORED by it.

I’m talking slow-mo glittering lights as Zolf stomps off blushing, unsure what just came over him; Wilde touches his cheek in bewilderment for a stretched moment before realising he’s completely agog, and he let go of the wheel for a dangerous length of time. Every interaction, every moment they’ve spent together over the last two years is flashing before Wilde’s eyes and a new context is being applied rapid fire. I’m talking the italacised oh kind of moment.

(on top of Zolf being witness to The Betrayal, throw some other moments of almost-intimacy into said flashbacks. I’m talking late nights, Zolf doing his gruff-yet-kind caretaker thing, cooking for Wilde, maybe sharing quiet and rare downtime with Zolf reading a Campbell novel on a couch in Wilde’s office)

Wilde is realising, “Oh this is allowed, oh this is reciprocated, this is possible.”

And of course they don’t talk about it, because what’s a slowburn if they immediately go and TALK about their feelings? No, the kiss goes completely unremarked upon, and Wilde continues to needle and tease and get under Zolf’s skin, except now with an added warmth in his eyes because he finally gets it. He finally understands that Zolf cares, that Zolf loves him, he’s just not the kind of dwarf that knows how to express it.

And Zolf, frustrated by feelings he can’t express but is beginning to understand, can hear the undertone of “haha, you looooove me,” shining through Wilde’s deliberate antagonism. They continue their time on the Vengeance just a little easier and closer to one another.

And we continue on to the death/resurrection arc, and Wilde’s spirit pushes for Zolf to open up about his feelings, because if not when he’s literally past death’s door, then when? When Zolf finally manages his “I need you,” it’s like a dam has broken for both of them. The second collar-grab and “We’ll go on a holiday or somethin’,” is now followed by a full kiss on the lips, not particularly erotic but passionate, (it’s the epitome of kissing someone to shut them up) and Wilde makes a surprised and delighted squeak that he would be glad he can’t quite remember when he returns to land of the living.

Once returned, Wilde might not remember everything that his spirit said or did, but he remembers the kiss. The comfort and ease that the two of them share in 179 (Eat Drink and Be Merry) is there, only instead of the two characters still being in a place of questioning their feelings for one another, it’s been answered.

Whether or not this relationship is sexual in nature is kind of up to you and what kind of fan works you like to read/write. I think there are wonderful scenes to be written an explored in many directions.

Wilde allowing himself to enjoy sex for intimacy and closeness instead of using it as a tool/ Zolf not being one for sex but Wilde’s never slept more soundly than when he’s being held in Zolf’s arms/ Zolf realising that the unfamiliar feeling he’s been struggling to express is the desire to rail Wilde til he cries/ Wilde realising that if his partner doesn’t want it from him, he’s actually quite content without sex/ The two of them being mean, antagonistic bastards to each other while fucking but Make It Kink (of the trusting and RACK kind). There really isn’t a single bad interpretation.  

So really, I’m not doing anything different with them other than reading between the lines, giving canon a little nudge, and sticking the landing. This isn’t to disparage the concept of queer platonic partners. (I’ve got one!) or to talk shit about Ben or Alex (I DO respect their craft).

It’s just to say I find these two characters , and everything they’ve been through, PAINFULLY romantic, tropey, and delightful. I’m looking forward both to how Ben and Alex play the QPP, the fanworks I’m gonna read and hopefully write, and the inevitable tragedy that you KNOW Alex is gearing up for.

[aplaceforthesoul]

hi, i’ve tried to write this a few times before and i’m never able to get it to a point where i feel comfortable with someone reading and evaluating it. but basically…. i am a high school senior and i am concerned about the importance and closeness level of a relationship between myself and a young teacher at my school. i am 16 and transmasculine, he is male in his 20s and pretty new to teaching, we kind of feel more like peers than members of a hierarchy even though he has taught multiple of my classes before. and i have recently become a TA for his class which further blurs that line because i am kind of on the authority figure side of things as far as any class hierarchy goes. so anyway:

basically, i have a bad home life, my dad is abusive constantly to my mother and incidentally to myself and my sisters; i don’t tend to feel particularly safe at home and this teacher has known about this since the middle of last year. since then, i have been invited to stay in his classroom anytime he’s in the building (including many hours after school for days on end, but also before school and a few times during my other classes with him excusing my absence, i usually try to make myself useful and set things up for class but often times just sit and talk, or we do our own things quietly in tandem) and he’s kind of been a safe place to go to talk about my life, get advice, and go when i’m really struggling. he’s also just a good friend and a fun person to talk to, and he’s in charge of the club that i’m a member of so even when i don’t have crazy scary things going on and need a place to be we tend to have interaction in a regular school context too once weekly. without the kindness and friendship of this teacher i would not have made it through the past few months as everything has fallen apart further at home, i ran away for a couple weeks, things have really just been unpredictable and scary and i’ve relied on him as a resource a lot including to help excuse me from other classes or help me figure out how to lie to my parents in contexts where it’s necessary.

anyway, i’m just a little nervous that i’m starting to care too much in the wrong way, and that the bounds of a professional relationship really strongly don’t exist in this instance - all my friends kind of passively acknowledge the fact that me and this one teacher have like zero boundaries as far as when i can be there and what we can talk about and they’re all kind of quietly awkward about it. and it’s not like anything is actually inappropriate or that he has ill intent and that’s not what i’m here to ask about at all, please don’t read this as that kind of a question the problem here is my own boundaries. the problem is that he’s like. a really important person to me, but that we interact in such a context with so many different dynamics and reasonings going on that you can’t really view it as a normal friendship, or mentor relationship, or really any normal type of relationship, and then also am afraid of what will happen when i graduate and we don’t see each other anymore, because with the nature of our friendship being school-centric and with an age difference and power difference we aren’t really set up to still know each other a year from now. and i’m not too proud to admit but that i do also have some rather unrealistic fantasies in which he somehow breaks me out of this shell and helps me become a carefree adult and maybe a bit of a crush. i would say it’s pretty one sided but so my problem is just kind of. i care a lot about this person. that’s not what our relationship is supposed to be. and it is both important for my security to keep spending so much time in his room especially right now, and also like. we’re on good terms and i enjoy his company in a teacher way and don’t want to lose one of the only positive relationships i’ve ever had with an adult in my life. and like i said, i’m his TA now and he’s the guy in charge of my club. so it’s not like i can start avoiding him how you’re supposed to when you have feelings you shouldn’t act on or feel like boundaries are being crossed. but i don’t want to cause problems either by somehow making my overcommitment clear and putting him in a position of either hurting my feelings or getting himself in trouble, and i just kind of. i don’t know. we’re close, and he trusts me with a lot of things and i trust him, and i don’t want to put our relationship at risk through having complicated feelings or through backing off to try and change how i feel. and again, it would be really truly unsafe to stop spending so much time with him because the alternative of going home is usually pretty bleak.

so basically i just… have complicated feelings, and don’t know what to do. i really don’t want to lose him, and i would like to keep in contact after high school, but i want to know how to do that in a way that is still appropriate and normal in the context that we actually know each other, even if we know each other a lot more well than other students and teachers that is still the basis of our relationship and i don’t want to mess things up and blur lines further than they already are. but he’s a very important person to me, and as the end of high school is approaching i’m stuck between wanting to stay in touch and continue to lean on him through this time, and wanting to keep things in a normal appropriate bounds for a student and teacher to be close with one another.

i can’t talk to anyone about this in the real world, so i’ve been sitting with it for many months now not sure where to go, when i need an adults advice and what i have to present to them is a list of ways that a teacher has broken rules for me where he could probably get in a lot of trouble like not in a way where i feel like he has crossed boundaries it is quite the opposite but some of the things that he has done to help me or when i was around were definitely not allowed. and i’m not looking to get him in trouble and not trying to have some outside party get involved and try to ask him questions or whatever and it would be really embarrassing and people are quick to read into things so it would just be a scary situation. but like. i need advice on how to deal with the combination of my situation, my feelings, and my future, and i kind of have a single person who gives me advice and it’s him. so i’m kind of reaching out here just hoping that i can have some honest advice from someone who i hope can look at this from a removed standpoint and give me the advice i need about what to do about my feelings and how to keep this relationship professional and normal while also, keeping it in my life. this has been weighing on me since before summer vacation, and it’s difficult to organize my thoughts, so i’m sorry for the long ask but i really appreciate you taking the time to read it and offer me any advice you have. not entirely sure if this blog is still active again, hope you are doing well out there and only taking time to answer these if you have the mental energy for it. best wishes, i appreciate you reading this far!

hey friend, i'm so glad that you were able to write this all down and send it to our inbox. truly! it's not easy at all to do that because it forces you to acknowledge your thoughts + feelings, and to put it all to someone for advice does feel vulnerable. but you did it -- and honestly that can be half the battle sometimes.

you're incredibly self aware and articulate, and I think you've hit the nail on the head in regards to the blurring of professional/personal lines.

how to find a resolution to this though? one way could be to start to slowly branch out a bit with friends. if you're possibly able to find a connection with someone else, someone that you trust and like? it could help you to feel like you have more support, and means you feel a little less dependent on one person.

starting to branch out doesn't mean that you have to ditch the friendship you have with person? if anything, it may end up creating a stronger and authentic relationship because you're more able to clearly define boundaries and you feel more in control over your thought + emotions (instead of heading too far in the other direction and being dependent on them). 

just quietly...it sounds like your feelings are complicated now because of how much value is being placed on this one person and this one friendship, sometimes it can cloud our perspective a lil. when we have so much attachment to a person and we place a lot of trust in them, our heart can get a bit confused? if you have real romantic feelings then I definitely would not act on them, but it might be that you just care a lot about this person and what he represents for you: safety, protection, stability, trust.

I'm not judging you -- this situation doesn't sound 'inappropriate' in the sense of a sexual relationship, it doesn't sound like he's taking advantage of you or trying to manipulate you, there aren’t a lot of red flags. however... in spite of what I've just said, it would still be a good idea to break the cycle of attachment/ dependence on someone who's older and an adult and someone in a position of authority over you. 

it’s not going to be an overnight solution, this particular issue isn’t likely to resolve itself in a few days time. but start off with the decision to make a few new friends, people who add value to your life. sometimes taking personality tests (like myers briggs) can help with that? if you know what you’re like as a person, it can help you find similar people with similar personality types, and a friendship might be more likely to form and to be positive.

it takes time to make new friends! I’m 29 and I’m the first to admit that it’s something as an adult that I don’t find easy either. but seriously try to make time and put some energy into creating a new friendship, take it one day at a time. let us know how things go for you lovely, all the best xxx

- tash

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi Goldy, JK was bold in the past, around 2017-2019 (to me, gcf & rosebowl can be considered as ‘coming out’). But it seems he now prefers to stay closeted? E.g. he snatched JM’s hand in the Xylitol x BTS shoot, then looked at the camera. Holding hands is normal among members… a lot of his interactions with Jin, V and other members are more intimate than holding hands… his reaction makes me feel like he wants me to pretend I didn’t know…?

Sorry I've been a bit AWOL lately...

I'm busy being the man of my woman's dreams in a cis het anti black capitalist world

Fun times.

I saw that bit, uWu-ed and kept it pushing.

It's nothing new really. I think a few months back when I was out here screaming Jikook are toning down, acting super professional around the cameras yadda yadda people out here were looking at me like I'd lost my two delulu heads- but this segues into that theme for me and since I've exhausted the topic I don't know what else to add.

I've said before they've both been very conscious of the cameras within certain periods post October- again nothing new, they be like that every now and then every season every phase and the whys will always be up for debate in these ship streets- on that subject, I've read a lot of opinions yet I think like mine better and will stick to it. Thanks Kimberly of Delulu precinct. Walk along now. Lol.

Jimin was like that during the Coway behind the scene shoot too when he noticed the cameras and quickly elbowed Jk to draw him away from the gaze of the cameras.

I don't think it's because they stopped being 'bold' or want to pretend. It takes a lot of courage to even pretend or even perform the gay in front of the world and your peers. I think they are just awfully aware and conscious of the people they work with as well as corporation's growing awareness, intentions and interests in them. You just never know which saessang is moonlighting as a brand PA or marketing director for a company they are working with. You just never know who is watching especially whenever they have to work with these 'outsiders.'

Think of Dispatch. Were they not allies or business partners, they'd be careful around them too if they worked with them. Know what I mean?

Toning down and exercising caution is necessary sometimes. I don't know why some people think that's absurd or Tuktukkerish when I say stuff like that. Especially with the kind of reputation they have as a ship and just how commercially attractive that image is. It's common sense at this point if you ask me.

Jikook sells. Argue with the analytics. I don't know who thinks they don't. Must be the clowns and penguins. They sell period. BigHit knows this, BTS knows this, companies know this. We don't scream Jikook is a brand within a brand for no reason.

And a lot of the toning down in recent times has perhaps inadvertently mitigated that growing power and demand of them as a marketing resource- who knows, that could have as well been by design, intentionally instigated for obvious reasons which I argue is the case but don't mind me. I'm delusional, gay and apparently the man of my woman's dreams uWu. Gotta wear that pants in my relationship. Ayaya Hwaiting.

When you say he prefers to stay closested- I thought they are both closested already?? They both have never been fully out in our opinion. Yes our opinion because I feel we are like minded. Let's be delulu mates.

On the topic of closets, I want to save that for a separate post. What I can say though is they are both growing and maturing and learning and unlearning. Jungkook's desire to 'come out' or act reckless with his glass closet in my opinion stemmed from him placing more value on his personal happiness over other values perhaps because he was young and hadn't fully grasped the full and complex nature of happiness or understand the privilege he has as part of BTS.

We make decisions based on our values most times. It's how I make sense of their actions really. I'm more likely to assume things that are consistent with the values they each have expressed openly and tend to reject any theory that contradicts or is inconsistent with those values. A guy who values his career is less likely to act in a way that puts that career at risk. And I'm well aware their values evolve over time.

These days he has never quit as one of his mottos next to rather dead than cool- do you see the contradictions in those values? Rather dead means quitting life. Yet now he says never quit. Don't mind me. I'm in a grumpy mood.

But what I'm saying is, the desire to want to show the world who this person means to him is not fixed or a priority all the time. Now i think he values his career a lot more than before which means he is more likely to compromise and less likely to do things that may put that career in jeopardy.

Transferring that to his relationship, I don't expect him to be breaching the glass closet anytime soon. And if he do, it might be incidental and may carry with it consequences which I believe he is well aware and concious of now. Will that change? You bet. Again it depends a lot on what his values in a given moment are and which ones he prioritizes.

It's their relationship. They chose which aspects of it they want to share with the cameras. Some of it get written off as fanservice. Fair enough. But the nonfanservice passing moments has always been questionable- although I must say, I find all Jikook moments and interactions questionable lol.

It's just skinship. Holding hands I mean. Why would he be conscious of that right? II'vetalked about consequences and repercussions of their actions. Sometimes I think it's the off screen scolding that gets to him. The ones silently whispered at his back. I mean we saw his reaction when Jimin was getting scolded by the hyungs for sleeping late. He's talked about skipping sleep too if I recall correctly. Jimin is hyung and I know the hyungs expect him to know better and do better. I'd Imagine Jimin would equally scold JK if his actions reflected poorly on him too.

So why the hell would he not say anything to Jungkook for posting on his birthday when he hadn't posted at all for any hyung's??? Sigh.

It's sad his guards are back up- but it's for good reason I believe given the context of the situation.

I don't think dramatizing his dynamic with Jimin makes him bold. Nor does Jimin's propensity to over express himself with Jungkook mean he loves Jungkook more than. Both are extreme takes for me.

Nevertheless, I contrast that moment with a Tae Kook moment which is one of my favorite tuktukk moments. In this moment, JK is staring at Jimin, his whole body turned towards him. Tae notices the cameras and draws JK's attention to it. I think there are two such moments like that from the recent contents? I don't know I have to cross check.

Tae in that moment reminded me a lot of Jimin. Jimin does this too- play out their relationship infront of the cameras to the point one might say he likes to show off their bond- which is such a BTS thing to do too so no big deal. I mean they like to show off their bond and chemistry as Tae said a while back.

It's one thing for JK to hesitate to act with a member because of the cameras, it's another for him to act self conscious only after the fact.

And JK has always been him like this with Jimin as Jimin used to say- JK acts different with me off cameras than he is on camera. He had a history of suppressing himself around Jimin owing in part to his personality

He's talked about putting on a mask around people and in a recent interview Jimin have talked about pretending and acting one way when he's not- I mean I've ever talked about the boy being in love with the Maknae being a facade- one of many.

They have public personas which, from what BTS themselves say, looks slightly different or similar to what we see on screens- or that they've grown to be more like what we see on screens.

I guess what I'm getting at is that 'pretending' isn't exactly a new thing or out of the ordinary. Personally I'd say he's being conscious of his surroundings like Jimin was and not that he is 'pretending.' If you know what I mean.

If he's pretending he has good reason to I believe and we can only speculate on that- we can't know for sure why.

If Jikook is fanservice then there's no need for either of them to worry about the cameras picking up on their interactions or who's watching them.

What goes on in Tae's head? I wanna know.

I don't know where to direct this post because you didn't really ask a question.

I'm fine thanks for asking. I'm really fine. I'm thinking of joining Jimin in the gym at 3am to bench press and build some biceps to match my role in my relationship😒

And no I don't need any advice. Keep it.

This is going to be my attitude until we switch back😐

I'm gonna be a boyfriend from hell and a blogger from satan's ass.

Also I think I overshare💀

GOLDY