#but understand that centralized will never be weird
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People on here are always like "fuck capitalism, why can't things be weird anymore" and then write up a whole dissertation about how the biggest IPs need to change to be weirder.
Like, you are so close. You are so close to getting the point. "Big" IPs *can only exist because they are normal*. They will *never* be weird. They will *never* do what you want. Go find some smaller IPs. Bring back discovery. Bring back never having heard of a book before you buy it. Bring back watching obscure anime online that none of your friends know about. Bring back trying new things, even if they're bad or cheaply made. That is how you get *weird*.
#if y'all want some obscure recs i got em#but understand that centralized will never be weird#weird exists because it appeals to a few#mainstream exists because it tries to appeal to everyone by boiling out individuality#it is impossible for the weird to become mainstream because that would inherently make it *not weird*#stop trying to shift the things you like into the capitalism model#break the capitalism model#fiction#fandom#stories#books#reading
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The enormity of my desire (disgusts me),
Very very early seasons (1 ā start of 2) Spencer Reid x afab!BAU!reader
SMUT!! (and fluff, some angst in relation to Spencerās past because it can never be too happy, weāre not allowed nice things here). first times & explorations of intimacy.
āāāā autistic spencer (itās a central theme to the plot), reader is actually morally good (for once).
Warnings: sub spencer (what did u even expect?), heavy corruption kink, first time for Spencer (all i do is sit around and think about how iād like to devirgin that genius), HEAAVY praise kink, very very inexperienced Spencer, slight? oral fixation, theyāre both just rlly down bad (i told u i would write something light, i delivered), Reader is whipped, Spencer is sooo much worse. Biblical references, Religious imagery, i think i talk about math equations???? And random metaphors/complexes.
w.c: 4k
a/n: i rlly wanted to explore aspects of spencer that criminal minds swept under the rug (cough cough his undiagnosed autism, cough cough his social exclusion, cough cough his crippling fear of forever being alone). Next upload will prob be heavy angst/no smut post-prison spencer (god help me please, i must be a masochist for the way i make myself suffer)
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
Thereās a lot Spencer hasnāt done.
He knows heās behind, that he never quite caught up when it came to the taboo of sex and intimacy. Everything, everything, heās ever had has been centred around exclusion, alienation, he feels like heās lived on pause. Frozen, never advancing, stuck on āgoā. Touch isnāt easy for him, interpersonal relationships are worse. Heās different, god heās heard that his entire life. āYouāre not weird, youāre justā¦ differentā, but maybe he is weird. Maybe his whole existence is just one big cosmic fuck you, because heās missed out on so much, so much that he canāt understand, comprehend, act out against. Falling behind; this is the only area of life where he continuously comes up short, inexperienced, naive, heās not used to being incompetent.
Heās never experienced want the way others do. He could never just hook up, fall into the body of another, expose them to the vulnerable elements of his stature. Open himself up to scrutiny. He might be a genius, he might be intellectually advanced, accepted into a multitude of ivy leagues before he was old enough to vote, but thereās drawbacks to his success. Social awkwardness, an inability to blend, mould, be one of the crowd. Sometimes he wishes he was average, something grey and mundane, so far reduced from the person he is nowā it would all be plainly simple.
But heās not, heās not. So, this is the weight he has to bare for the brain he never asked for.
Pyrrhic victory, heāll always be renowned for his intelligence. āYouāre going to change the world kid,ā maybe, but simultaneously, heāll never get to experience said world. Thereās a chance heāll always be on the outside, watching normal people gravitate towards each other. Live dreary lives of domesticated simplicity. Stacked bills, arguments over money and parenting techniques. Going to bed angry, only to turn around, mid-night, and resolve it, to not sleep on bad blood. To take them off the couch, to settle into predestined sides of the mattress.
Thereās not enough possessions in the world heād sacrifice just to experience love.
Hedgehog dilemma, the challenges of human intimacy. The hedgehogs want to move closer, to preserve heat during cold. But, they are forced, biologically cursed to remain apart, in order to prevent themselves from harming each other. Spencer doesnāt want to be hurt, to hurt, itās a morbid byproduct of his upbringing; all he ever endured was mockery.
He thought heād never get to experience the physical, carnal aspects of existence. And sure, he made peace with the notion, accepted the consequences of being born atypical. Learnt to live without.
But then, oh then there was you. Pretty, intellectual you who quite literally tipped his world on itās axis. Upheaved the most stable of routines. New to the BAU, he wanted you to last. To stay around, endure the worst of the job. If only for his selfish benefit of orbiting in your presence.
He remembers how it all started: Detroit, another case, more budget cuts, forced proximity that sent you spiralling into a shared bed for the night.
āYouāre my favourite person in the team.ā you admitted, āAnd I know thatās dumb, because weāve spoken the least, butā¦ youāre just, so you. Thatās a good thing by the way, a really really good thing.ā
He couldnāt quite believe you were talking about him. Spencer, who spilt coffee, and slipped into ceaseless tangents about obscure information. Spencer, who walked into walls when you were around, stumbling over his sentences before deftly, very astutely, giving up, walking away mid-conversation. He wore sweater-vests and colourful mismatched socks, itās not like he was going to be crowned āwhite boy of the monthā.
āNot dumb.ā Spencer had responded, shifting closer to tangle further into the warm mess of this accidental situation. āThatās good. I like being me.ā he mumbled. āSometimesā¦. sometimes it sucks. But thatās okay. I think itās okay?ā
He moved to press his face into the crook of your neck, but you were faster, gathering him by tousled hair, forcing him to look you in the eye.
Oh.
āPlease. Please.ā he whispered, breaking apart, fracturing, āPlease like me. And more than in a weird, ājust friends or coworkersā way.ā
You did. You do. He shouldāve kissed you then, but maybe he was scared, maybe he couldnāt quite discern his feelings, separate the logic from the emotional. So he waited, waited, waited until now. Your third date, you take him to an exhibition within a science centre: replica models of the solar system, filling rooms up, papier-mĆ¢chĆ© sculptures illuminated by light.
Best date ever. You listen, even when heās rambling about planets, when heās pointing out that yes, Jupiterās density is less than water. That, technically, it would float in a bathtub, if one was built to accommodate its size. You donāt care that heās not exactly the staple-piece for conventionally attractive males. That heās nerdish, and awkward, and so so inexperienced when it comes to this.
In his apartment, later, much later, he looks at you, looks at you like youāre the one who just solved the fucking Riemann hypothesis.
āWhat do you want the most? Like,ā¦ if you could ask for one thing.ā you say, and god, Spencer loves when you pose these deep, hypothetical questions. When you make him think, because you, you are the biggest challenge to his intellect yet.
You. He wants to say. But he settles for āBeing remembered,ā instead. He works to untangle layers of fabric, your scarf, your jacket, letting out an exasperated laugh when he meets your amused gaze. āRight now though? I think Iād settle for kissing you.ā
You cup his jaw, tracing your fingers along the sharp curve, and god he has perfect anatomy. āSettle huh? You should be more appreciative.ā
He leans forward to press a chaste kiss against your lips. Drawing away for a moment, just to return because heās never had this before. Because for the first time in his life, he gets it. He gets physical attraction, even if it took time. Heās kissed, been kissed, yes. But he could count those moments on one hand, and if you asked how many he truly enjoyed, heād be left with no fingers raised.
āBelieve me, iām very appreciativeā¦ā
This isnāt like before, what he felt in the past; he expected something monotone, flighty, a brief fleeting moment of satisfaction. Means to an end. No, itās actually the best thing heās ever experienced, and heās going to become so insufferable after this, because heās just found out he is very very into kissing.
Correction: heās very into kissing you.
In the moment between parting, and touching again, he assumes you to be divinity personified. Spencer has never been religious, but something of this magnitude should be canonised. He wants to ask you. Ask you when you became this beautiful. When you became the person he needs to kiss a second time, kiss a third time, kiss until his lips go numb.
A shaky inhale, a pause. āI hopeā¦ I hope that it was okay - I mean, it was good for me. Really, really good. Umāā to be honest, heās just glad he didnāt say thankyou.
āYeah, Spence. That wasā¦ wow.ā you draw your bottom lip between teeth, press into tissued flesh. Jesus Christ. āWanna try again?ā
Yes yes yes yes. He looks at you, pupils blown obscenely out of proportion. Part of him wants to say, āwhy didnāt we do this sooner?ā But thatās not fair; heās only ready now. Now that he feels, now that he might be a little in love with you.
āPlease,ā is his answer, and then heās catching your face in the palms of his hand, tugging your lips back to his, because admittedly, they have ached in the long, extensive period you were apart (53 seconds).
This time it deepens and Spencer sees stars. Itās an astronomical phenomenon, something interstellarā and god, heās relating kissing to space. They should just tape the word āvirginā to his back and call it a day.
Thereās soft little breathy sighs escaping his mouth now, bleeding into yours. And yeah, spontaneous combustion might be a real threat. Actually no, it would hardly be spontaneous; thereās a clear, clear cause, and it just so happens to be your ruinous lips.
This is an entirely new facet of the human experience. The kiss is electric; heās always been partial toward physics, and right now his veins carry an alternating current.
You know, he could probably write a thesis based on this.
You both stumble back back back until heās hitting a wall, and yes, thankyou. Heās making all sorts of sounds he canāt justify, and itās a supernova, an infinite black pool ofā oh, he thinks he might die, ascend, transcend, when you press your thumb against his chin, hold your lips at just a little slant from his. Force him to wait there.
āPlease,ā heās never been above begging. A worthy sacrifice, one heāll certainly repeat again because you return to the kiss, and the world around him dissolves.
Youāve got one hand tangled in his hair. Tousled auburn, fingers sinking into strands, pushing all the way down to the root. The other is still cupping his face, keeping him close, keeping him selfishly close actually.
āSpence,ā you murmur. And yes. Yes. He likes that. The way his name sounds rolling off your tongue, like it was destined to be there. Like he was destined to be yours.
His world is ending. So is yours. Fuck it, he presses himself against your thigh, and ohmygodohmygod. Heās being loud, heās actually being so criminally loud right now because apparently heās the most whorish virgin to ever exist.
āI lied, I lied,ā he admits between messy kisses, āWhen you asked what I wanted the most? Itās not to be remembered, well it is, its on the list. Butāā he groans, kisses you again because talking interrupts matters that are more important. Like your lips.
āI wanna cum.ā
Eloquent.
Spencer Reid being dirty? Oh, itās hot, itās so hot to reduce someone to such an obscene state. To reduce him, the boyish fumbling nerd (who just so happens to be the most beautiful person in existence) to such a degrading mess.
Still, thereās shock. Not because he said it (you greatly appreciate the indecent things falling from those pretty lips right now), but becauseā
āYouāve never? Havenāt even experienced it once? By yourself?ā
He should be embarrassed, but his lips are red, his eyes are glassy, and the bulge in his pants is straining to be touched. āNever,ā he sighs shakilly. āNever, and iāmā iām starting to understand why itās so popular.ā
He whimpers, pushes himself against your thigh, because the friction, yes. āIs that weird? Please donāt think iām weird. Because Iām really, really weird. Just maybeā¦ not in that way?ā
Itās never been enough. His body sometimes feels numb to the touch, and yet still so very overstimulated. Like he manually blocks himself from feeling, already prepared for the flinch. How does he explain that life hasnāt been kind to him? That he hates his body because of what people made it out to be when he was a child. Stripping him naked, tying him to a goalpost, always the underdog. The one to be targeted, tormented.
āItās actually kinda hot,ā you interrupt his thoughts, and just because youāre evil, corrupt, the worst, you press your thigh harder against his clothed cock, palm covering his mouth when a plethora of whiny sounds escape his mouth.
Itās performative, really. Alone in his apartment, thereās no need for noise control. So when your thumb slips between parted, swollen lips, he knows to suck. The average human hand has between 10,000 and 10 million bacteria, and Spencer does not actually give a fuck anymore.
āTo think that youāve never even felt what itās like. That youāre gonna feel it with me for the first time. I get to see that shitā god, youāre going to look so fucking pretty for me.ā
You draw your thumb out of his mouth, and he has the audacity to whine.
Heās never wanted anything more in his entire life. Itās all tertiary now. Only this matters.
āPlease donāt praise meāā he protests, āIāll probably finish in my pants.ā
āPraise kink, noted.ā
You laugh, and he can only groan, curse existence for being this cruel to his overworked, undervalued body. āDonātā donāt laugh. Youāre not supposed to laugh, that can heighten performance anxiety. Increase insecurity, andā¦ā he sighs, āYou do not care. Sadistic tendencies, noted.ā
āShut up. Wanna see you.ā you say, and heās just muttering breathless mhmās, too delirious to function; his body is betraying the last iota of self-control like the little whore it apparently is.
His sweater comes off first, then his top. Discarded fabric, his raised arms when you mutter a candid āupā, giving way to exposed skin. In response? Your pupils dilate. Spencer knows because heās analysing, profiling. If you hate him like this, heās fairly certain heāll drag himself into a self-dug early grave. He wishes he was being melodramatic. That your approval didnāt have such a substantial impact on his carefully-constructed ego. But, oh, it does. It does.
Thin, with a long, defined torso, he blushes, rose blemished skin, when your hands drag across his stomach. Heād love to say he reacts sanely, suavely. Urbane to your touch. But that would be a total, discreditable lie. Instead, his back arches, seeking contact, following the path of your fingertips with pitiful desperation. He feels malleable, willing to bend and contort, if only to feel more.
āHow can you not think youāre pretty, Spence?ā His pants are gone next, then his stained boxers, fabric borderline sheer now, soaked through with pre-cum.
Spencer feels betrayed. His body never responds, not to his own hands, not to his own thoughts. And yet, the moment youāre on him, heās a live-wire. Itās sick, heinous, double-crossing. Maybe itās purposeful, done just to spite him. Figures.
āHoly shit, look at you. Look at how perfect you are.ā Spencer wants to object, because he distinctly told you not to praise him. However,.. right now, the lights are on but nobody is home. Brain-death, heās certainly in a vegetative state.
āOhmygodohmygod,ā he whimpers, because no amount of knowledge about human anatomy and physiology could prepare him for how he feels under your touch. No amount of education in the psychology of relationships could inform him of how viscerally wrong the way you look at him feels.
Because itās not wrong, not all. Itās the most right heās ever felt, and heāll tell you that if youāll just keep it up.
The sounds heās making are phonographic, lewd, youāve given up on trying to stifle them now. Where have you been hiding? Your eyes fall, and he wants to blush away from the exhibiting gaze, but heās justā¦. too far gone; the thought of your touch outweighs any previous reticence. Then, oh then, you drop to your knees, and shit. He expected your thigh, maybe your hand if he was lucky, notā
This. Your mouth, your tongue, your pretty lips; god, god, is this a sin? Because if it is, heāll take it.
āPlease,ā he whines, and he canāt look anymore because the sight alone is going to send him over the edge. Heās gripping the wall, scrambling scrambling for purchase, because heās trying not to grip you, but how exactly does he keep this respectful?
Heās pretty sure theyāre past that, considering your mouth is currently wrapped around his cock, and heās debauched.
You want this, you want him, he feels like heās transcended humanity, like heās become someone, anyone and anything, that deserves the way youāre taking him apart, piece by piece. In the aftermath, he hopes you donāt leave a single ounce of him intact.
āWanna kiss you. Ohā oh oh,ā heās sobbing now, āCome back here. Miss your mouthā even if itās,ā he looks down and thatās a mistake. āPlease.ā
Of course it would be Spencer to disrupt the best (and admittedly only) head of his life because he needs you closer.
You oblige, raising from your knees, and Spencer thinks it might be sacrilegious. But then again, he feels religion in your touch so it canāt be too profane. Maybe? Heās not sure, heās not sure and it doesnāt matter. Ethics and morality have long since disintegrated, sins are engrained into humankind. He almost wants to thank Eve for tearing into the apple, because itās allowed this irreverence to occur.
Spencer blindly follows you through the apartment, stumbling and muttering until he can collapse against the bed. Baring his pretty neck as his head hits the bedframe. Tangled in sheets, draped over his lap, his deft fingers run across your waist, mapping out the structure of your frame. If only to remember, recite this act of blasphemy.
āSpence,ā you whisper, and then his lips are crashing into yours, stealing breath, stealing sanity. He whimpers, murmurs a protest when you draw back, and you can only laugh. āLets get you off, yeah? You wanna feel an orgasm, pretty boy?ā
āYes, yes please. That would uhā yes.ā heās not even sure how heās conscious right now. His body, god his body, has endured more pleasure in the last hour than it has for the majority of his life. Your hands scathe, and Spencer is willing to indefinitely burn, if just to feel them one more time.
You only stop to take off your clothes, and surely there needs to be prep? To reaffirm, he knows anatomy, the correct procedure, how the transgression is supposed to occur. And yet, thatās from a clinical, objective mindset. Do this, do that, etc etc. Nothing works out like that in practice.
Youāre so wet, panties stained through, he spares a moment to run his fingers across your thighs, hand slipping beneath fabric to graze your clit. The moan that follows has him distracted, thumb tracing circlets, over and over until youāre pulling back to return the balance. The balance, which admittedly is skewed, tipped scales, youāre on top. He falls to the weight of your influence.
And yeah, heās more than fine with that. Jesus, you drag your panties down, down your thighs, your legs, then theyāre reaching your ankles, pooling there for a moment before theyāre being discarded, tossed somewhere on his floor ā leaving behind a souvenir that yes, yes this happened.
āI canāt,ā he says, burying his face into your shoulder when you take him. Itās slow, sinking onto his cock like every inch of warmth will destroy him. Maybe it will. Maybe he doesnāt care, because he deserves this. He deserves to feel after so much repression.
Or maybe, maybe heās just become the biggest slut known to mankind. Likely.
Your body presses against his, and he thinks heās going to disintegrate, because he feels so good. He understands now, he understands why people do this. Why itās integral to the function of most. This is the best day of his life. This. Is. The. Best. Day. Of. His. Life.
Thereās this noise, this pathetically loud whimper when you start to roll your hipsā and oh your body is wet against him, and youāre so tight, and itās perfect because he doesnāt have to do anything.
He can just sit here, look pretty, and cry.
He knows heās a giver, that heād bleed himself dry for you. Itās a curse, he supposes: so willing to bend backwards for the satisfaction of the people he trusts. But, this is foreign, and he wants to watch you, aimlessly stare, dumb and empty-headed as you wield his body like a weapon. Turn him into something perniciously yours.
Spencer has no reference for what an orgasm is supposed to feel like, and yeah, heās really good at guessing in these type of situations. Because heās rolling his thumb over your clit again, and he wants to draw it into his mouth, to see you laid out across bedsheets, writhing, unable to do anything but suffocate him with your thighs.
You clench around him, back arched, releasing a series of strained moans. With one hand tangled in his dishevelled hair, the other pressed against his chest, your face contorts, your body stiffens. Thereās no way his incessant whimpering just got you off?
Okay. So you like him desperate. Point taken.
āPleaseā please, wanna cum. Wanna feel it so bad,ā heās slurring over his words, sentences punctured by devastating whimpers. And look at him, asking for permission, waiting even though his body has been teetering on the edge for so long now.
āShh, shh..ā you press your forehead against his, and he melts. Reoccurring theme. His hand grips your jaw, thumb pushed firmly against your chin, keeping you close. āYou wanna cum for me, baby? Gonna give me your first?ā
āMhmā mhmā¦ā is all he can say. When you pick up your pace, he has to burrow his face into the crook of your neck, whimpers messy and broken off, suppressed against your warm skin.
āOh. Ohā¦ā he repeats, again. Like thereās anything else he could utter, because this is earth-shattering.
Itās the sun, and all eight planets combined, and the universe collapsing in on itself, and heās bucking, squirming, releasing into you, spilling deep.
He sobs. Breaks down. Because itās so so good, and he canāt believe he ever deprived his body of this.
Neediest whore to ever exist, apparently.
It takes him a while to come back. Longer to regain motor function, to sink into present day. Life, and expectations, and everything, everything, your touch eradicated.
āJustā¦ just stay like this?ā he asks, collapsing against your body after heās drawn out of you. Thereās mess, evidence of your ministrations, but cleanliness seems futile when heās blissed out, caught in a post-orgasmic haze that yes yes yes he needed so badly.
You card your hands through his hair, watch the way he stares up at you, large, widened eyes, chin resting against your chest. āHi,ā he mutters dumbly.
āSpence,ā Spence, Spence, Spence. He could drown himself in that nickname.
āYeah?ā he breathes out.
āYou weāre so goodāā
He rolls away from you, finding a home for his face in the pillow. āStop. Stop.ā he groans, āDonāt do that. Youāre going to destroy me. Iām notā¦ equipped for this, for you. Someone should just sedate me, put me out of my misery, a coma sounds likeāā
He tilts his head to the side, relinquishing, āOkay. Sorry. Meltdown over. Can we shower? Then maybe do this again? Which will make the shower inconsequential, I suppose. Thereās a new documentary I want to watch, and oh, you still havenāt seen the third Star Warsāā
Heās happy, content, over the fucking moon, to be silenced with your lips. āYeah,ā he murmurs, hand interlocking with yours as you both fall back against the mattress, āLetās do this again.ā
#criminal minds#spencer reid smut#sub spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid#giving him the happiness he deserved#he is my roman empire#his excess trauma is also#my#roman empire#thank u and good night america#iām not even american
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writing under āconsā for a fic: wwx is too normal :/
#yes im adding one more to the big reclist#went back and forth on it. it's not very fun to read but its good. it has value#but wwx DOES act too much like a general guy instead of his unhinged and groundbreaking and brilliant self#for reasons I understand but they make the fic feel very odd. he's the central force of the show#his personality and principles and relationship issues (in every way)#for him to be so watered down even in a modern AU is just weird#everyone else is in character but the author never managed to nail him#I've read their other stuff and it's kind of bad so this being so on point surprised me#ficblogging
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āļøMild arcane spoilers āļø
Miiight ruffle some feathers.
Not EVEN going to lie, unnecessary ship wars aside, the fan base has developed such a deep love and understanding for these characters (because letās be honest, there are some pretty intelligent people giving eye opening analyses) that after the finale, it appears that we have a better understanding of them than the actual writers.
We deserved better as the audience after all the hype over the years, all the waiting, even after some episodes got leaked a while ago, most of us remained respectful and waited to see what this season would bring us. The core characters ABSOLUTELY deserved better as well.
It felt as if I was watching all of the charactersā development be erased in real time, or become sidelined and nearly mute after being propped up to appear as if they were going to have a significant arc.
With the amount of episodes we had, it felt like they were trying to cram a bunch of different storylines into one 9 episode season and that left us with annoying plot holes and rushed sequences.
And Iām just gonna say it.
If a certain relationship needed to be sacrificed if it meant that other characters had the proper development they needed and DESERVED, then I would have preferred that much, MUCH more than that undercooked finale.
Donāt. Even. Get me started on that caitvi scene. In the cell? Right after that conversation she had with her sister? Donāt give me that nonsense about how itās vi reclaiming her power or something. (An actual weird ass statement from Amanda Overton in a Q&A video about how that was Vi reclaiming and working through her trauma in that cell).
No apology? No groveling for forgiveness? That little argument they had lasted like five seconds and didnāt even address the earlier conflict that happened in the show after cait left vi. And before any of you say ācait apologized with her actionsā
I donāt care. Two things can be true at once, she can and should have apologized directly as well as displayed that with her actions.
Moving on to Mel??? We did not nearly have enough time to explore her new abilities as a mage, her armor, and her connection to the black rose. As I said, the storylines this season should have been more refined so we could focus on a central group of characters. They did nothing but hint at her armor from the end of season 1 all the way up until now.
Also maybe Iām hallucinating, but did we ever find out what happened to the firelightās tree?? Thatās one of the main reasons Ekko and Heimerdinger went to the lab isnāt it? HELLO?
Next on my list, Jinx. This girl has suffered to no end.
- Lost her whole family except for Vi.
- Almost died once and was brought back to life.
- Tried to end her life several more times
And you slap us all in the face by writing her off?
āOh but she may not be GONE gone, look at the glitching at the end!"
I. Donāt. Care. Itās the principle.
Iām sick and tired of seeing characters that struggle with mental health and keep having one bad event after another happen to them, never receiving a proper ending. What messages are the writers sending with this? That death is basically the answer because thereās no hope for them? Cool. That was not an honorable act of self sacrifice, that was plain insulting.
Instead, if they still really wanted to have a Jinx redemption arc and a chance to rekindle her relationship with Vi, having her tap into engineering for the betterment of Zaun would have been the better route.
We should have gotten an extra extended episode since this is last season for the Piltover/Zaun region, and for Jinx and Vi's story. I really want to blame Riot for being greedy and possibly becoming too cocky with the popularity of Arcane that they think anything would suffice because It's Arcane.
#riot got greedy#arcane#league of legends#arcane league of legends#arcane ambessa#ambessa medarda#mel medarda#arcane Mel#arcane jayce#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jinx arcane#vi arcane#vander arcane#Warwick#vi and caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#hextech#timebomb#arcane silco#young silco#arcane season 2#riot games#fortiche#arcane spoilers#arcane zaun#piltover#arcane act 3#arcane act three#arcane sevika
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i registered to vote for the first time ( i feel old) now that im an adult but my state has closed primary elections which i was wondering if you have an opinion about. my initial thought was that its bad because i had to register democrat (rather than my states green party which represents my beliefs more) just so i could vote between democrat candidates, which feels like being pressured into supporting the weird pseudo two party system we have. but then i looked it up and apparently a reason for this is so that people from opposing parties wont purposefully mess up the votes just so that their preferred candidates have an easier time winning, and i think that makes sense too. but is that actually the reason theyve closed it or is it just to force us dem/republican?? cause it feels strange
Okay, look. I respect the fact that you're a young person, and I appreciate that you have not only registered to vote, but plan to vote in the primaries, so I don't want to lecture you too much. That said: I am taking you out for coffee, I am sitting you down, I am looking into your eyes, and I am urgently telling you the following:
The Green Party is a scam. It is a scam. It has existed for decades in American politics as an empty shell corporation weaponizing the good intentions of young people like yourself, because all it theoretically stands for "it's good to save the planet maybe." Which is not something that any non-insane person seriously disagrees with, but there is no world in which that cause is actually furthered by registering/voting Green (you mentioned that you did vote for Democrats, which -- good, but listen to me here, youngun, okay?) It ran Jill Stein in 2016 to siphon more votes from HRC, and this election it plans to run Cornel West, a pro-Russian tankie who positively equated Bernie and Trump, as another spoiler candidate. It does not stand for "protecting the planet" or America in any real way. It has never elected a single senator or congressman, let alone a president. It stands for empty performance/grievance political theater by those people who feel too morally superior to vote for/affiliate with Democrats, often because the internet has told them that it's not Cool or Hip or Progressive enough.
If your main priority is climate/the environment, you're doing the right thing by registering as a Democrat and voting for Democrats. (Also: the adjectival form is Democratic. It is the Democratic party and Democratic candidates, otherwise you sound like the Fox News host who wrote a book literally entitled "The Democrat Party Hates America.") They are the only major party who has in fact passed major climate legislation and have made environmental justice a central tenet of their platform. As opposed to the Republicans, whose Project 2025, along with the rest of its nightmare fascist prescriptions, openly pledges to completely wreck existing climate protections and forbid any new ones, just because we weren't all dying fast enough under their death-cult rule already. That's the main logical fallacy I don't get among both the Online Leftists and the American electorate in general: "the Democrats aren't doing quite enough as I'd like, so I'll enable the active wrecking ball insane lunatics to get in power and ruin even the progress we HAVE managed to make!" Like. How does that even make sense?
On a federal level, the Greens have contributed nothing whatsoever of tangible value to American or international climate policy/legislation, environmental justice, or anything else, because as noted, they don't have any elected candidates and mostly focus on drawing voters away from Democrats. There might be plenty of good candidates on the local or city level, which -- great! Vote away for Greens if they're available, or the only other option is a Republican! But on the federal/primary level, please understand: once again, they are a scam. There is no point in affiliating yourself with them. You're welcome to register Green and vote Democratic, if that makes you feel better or if you prefer having another label next to your name, but once again, I'm telling you in my position as a salty Tumblr elder that they have done nothing but harm to the causes they claim to care about, because "environment" is such a nebulous priority and has demonstrably been hijacked to stop the American government entity, i.e. the Democrats, that is actually working to improve on it.
As for your question: nobody is "forcing" or "pressuring" you to vote in primaries. By your own admission, you made a conscious choice to register as a Democrat in order to vote for Democratic candidates. If you were just a regular registered voter of whatever party affiliation, you would vote in the general election for whatever candidate the primary process produced. But if you are sufficiently vested and committed to that process that you would like to have a say in who is running under that party label, it is not unreasonable that you would register as a member of that party. Nobody has twisted your arm behind your back and made you do so; you are taking a considerable level of initiative on your own. Likewise, open primaries can be both a good and bad thing. This falls under the "the political system we have is flawed, but we can't magically pretend it doesn't exist and act according to our own fantasyland versions of reality" thing that I keep saying over and over. So yes, if you want a role in shaping the Democratic candidates who emerge from a Democratic primary process, you will usually register as a Democrat, and nobody has forced you to do that. It's that simple.
Likewise as a general programming note: I'm trying to cut back on politics a bit right now, because I don't have the spoons/bandwidth/mental health to deal with it. I apologize. So if you've sent me a politics-related ask recently and haven't received a response, I'm not deliberately or maliciously ignoring you; I just am not able to handle it as much as usual and will have to put it on pause. However, I feel as if this is important enough to be worth saying, so, yeah.
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one amazing thing about the Owl House finale is that it finally contextualized for me one of the central metaphors of the show. Spoilers for the series finale Watching and Dreaming ahead.
we good? no one spoiling themselves? beauty
for a long time now, I thought we had a pretty standard coming-of-age metaphor dichotomized by the show's central antagonists. you've got your protestant witch hunter Belos who introduces a maturity and ugliness to Luz's narrative; he clearly represents a particular, restricting form of adulthood, and just when Belos becomes his most threatening, boom, enter the Collector, Luz's dangerously naĆÆve inner child to ruin all her development on the Boiling Isles. Seems simple enough
what I didn't anticipate was just how specific and personal their roles in the story actually are to Luz once you have the full context from the series finale
look again
this story - this whole series - is about the grief that a neurodivergent kid experienced at a young age, introducing the cruelty of loss and adulthood before she was ready to handle it. and, how to reclaim a more whole understanding of herself as she rebuilds her life with people who get her
Belos is designed to infect the titan carcass like a disease. a cancer. it's super goddamn significant that the titan is King's dad (King, who became Luz's younger brother). they set up Belos not just to be another fascist kids' cartoon villain (although yeah, he do be doing some of that), but to specifically become a force that oppressed the weirdness from the one place that understood Luz. the Iles. the dad. And by the end of the story, Belos's goopy body-horror isn't just for show, he's just like the cancer or other terminal disease that took Luz's dad from her
he's the thing Luz hasn't processed in season 1 that comes in at the end like a warning. he's the threat that forces Luz to grapple with her own humanity, feeling somehow (often completely unjustifiably) harmful to those around her, through the grief she doesn't want to be a burden or the weirdness (neurodivergence) others don't understand. he's the force that says there is something wrong with you, Luz, give in to your grief, this is what you can't face. this is the lie you've been telling to those closest to you: that you're okay
then you have the Collector. (notable that he's a collector, and we see Luz's mom and dad had quite the collection of nerdy memorabilia)
the Collector is the child too young to understand death. Too young to understand consequences, or why their playmates don't feel like playing anymore with someone so weird and maybe a bit too involved in their own world. The Collector is Luz's inner child, that kid we see right before the "worst week ever" ā the one who didn't and couldn't understand what was about to happen even as it was going down. unapologetically weird, a bit destructive and short-sighted, but wholly colourful, wholly themselves. that's why the Collector wants to live out Luz's adventures, but without all the depth. just the fun escapist fantasy
but don't think I forgot the internal conflict! :D
because Camila's role also gets an added depth too: Camila was framed at the outset of the series as someone who loved Luz, but wanted her to fit inside a box that she just didn't. later, Luz completely misconstrued her mom's breakdown when she learned that Luz chose to run away. as many people have pointed out by now, Luz misremembers the actual dialogue that Camila says: Camila only wanted her daughter safe, not to lose her. Luz meanwhile felt like she had to choose to destroy this part of herself, or give up her connection with her mom altogether
but we know now Camila actually deeply relates to Luz. she may not understand Luz's fascination with horrific things like on the boiling isles (very akin to a kid getting more grim hobbies in the wake of a death, like Luz's taxidermy), but she loves Luz for who she is. all of her. she never wanted Luz to change
Luz was the one framing the central conflict of the show as go back to her mom or stay in the boiling isles. Luz was the one who felt like she had to punish herself by rejecting the one place where she felt like herself. once Camila realizes what's been going on, and how deeply connected it is to the loss of Luz's dad, she knows Luz is trying to make a "very bad choice for herself." And she won't let that happen (what a great mom!!)
But Luz does have one real choice ahead of her
because of the inner child who once again has to confront death (this time, Luz's own), Luz is able to connect with a father figure, the titan, the one place she feels understood. in the form of a power-up that makes her into a fantasy witch straight out of the Good Witch Azura, the one place she got joy after that huge loss, the titan gives her the strength to face the cancerāa force draining everything good in her life from her and making her question she deserves it in the first placeābut only if she can choose herself
and that means choosing happiness, choosing found family, choosing love and friendship and self-discovery in the place she feels most at home! every bond she's forged, everything she's worked for, it all comes down to choosing to face grief and move on in life with weirdos who stick together.
hoot hoot, that's some good metaphor
#the owl house#toh spoilers#luz noceda#eda clawthorne#king clawthorne#the collector#emperor belos#camila noceda#i may update the post with images at some point but I figured that's more likely to unintentionally spoil others#watching and dreaming
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Neil talking about the responses to Good Omens Season 2 - from the Neil Gaiman interview with Brian Levine for The Gould Standard (x,x)
BL: The audience that you have built is a very passionately engaged audience. They, frankly, they love you. And one of the reasons they love you is that you fit into what I think of as one of two great divisions in art. There's, or in writing, um, there is: I'm entertained, I'm amused. I may be even enchanted; and then there's this hits me at a visceral level. You understand me as no one else does. You have touched something very central to my experience. And it seems to me that Much of your writing, maybe all of your writing, actually reaches your audience at that latter level. You know. I would say in the former category, sort of my quintessential and beloved example would be P. G. Woodhouse. He amuses me, but I don't feel like he's revealed my inner self at a very deep level. Um, were you aware that you were going to be able to achieve that? Um, that this is something... was it a startling thing when people began coming up to you, who'd read your work and said, this means so much to me?
Neil: Yeah. It was huge. And it wasn't expected. I... if I had a mountaintop I was heading towards, it was gonna be P. G. Woodhouse. Um, I wanted to be a proficient entertainer with a clear prose style who could tell stories. Um, it probably wasn't until Sandman that I found... I started to realize that in order for a story to work, I had to show too much. In order for a story to resonate, in order for a story to matter, I had to let it matter too much. And, and I remember the first people who would start coming up to me and saying, um, you, you know, your, your Sandman comics got me through the death of a loved one. Your death character got me through my child's death, through my parent's death, through my partner's death, through my friend's death. Um, and that left me kind of amazed. I'm like, well, I didn't write it to do that. I wrote it to feed my children. I wrote it to satisfy myself. I wrote it because nobody else had ever written it. And if I didn't write it, it wouldn't be written, but I don't think I wrote it to give you what you've taken from it. And I spent really about 20, 25 years feeling awkward about that. And then my father died, in March 2009, and never got to cry about it. Never... I, you know, I've, I've got on a plane and I went to the UK and dealt with the funeral stuff and organized all of that stuff and came back and go toff the plane and went and did Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report and wearing the funeral suit because and that was all I had with me and carried on. And then, somewhere in the middle of summer, I was reading a friend's script. They'd sent me a script and said, can you look this over? And I'm reading it, and on page 20, the lead character meets somebody, and on page 26 maybe, she's dead, and I burst into tears. And I'm bawling. I am sobbing. It is coming out of me in giant racking waves. And I realized that it's everything that I'd been, hadn't let myself feel, or hadn't been able, hadn't stopped enough to let myself feel, was suddenly being given permission to feel by the death of a fictional person who I'd met six pages earlier, ia script. And I thought that... and it was huge for me, and I thought, okay, that's that thing that people are talking about sometimes, when they come tome and they say, you, you did this. So right now, I'm in this weird, wonderful place where I think a lot of people in Good Omens Season 2 thought they were signing up for the P.G. Woodhouse, and didn't know that, no, no, no, you've, you've signed up for the whole thing. You've signed up for the feelings. You've signed up for the emotions. I... it is my job to make you care and to make you feel and to feel things you haven't felt before. And which meant that the first week or so after Good Omens came out, I was getting angry, furious, deeply upset messages on every possible social medium telling me that I had betrayed people, and it was awful, and they couldn't stop crying, and why would I do that to them, and did I hate them? And they hated me. And then a weird sort of phenomenon happened as people would watch the show again. And again. And now they started to know, okay, this is where it's gonna go, this is what's gonna happen, this is how it works. And they started realizing that they were actually feeling things, and that was good. And that they were caring about two people who don't exist. You know, I made them up, and then and Terry Pratchett made them up, and then, um, David Tennant and Michael Sheen gave them life, and then they get to walk around on a screen and you know they don't exist, but you can cry for them, you can love them, they can make you laugh, they can make you exult, and most important of all, they can make you care. And the number of people who are now writing to me, saying, 'This was so important to me. This has changed my life. This makes me feel like I belong. This makes me feel like I can cope. And it's let me sort of find myself. P. S. I hope you get to do Season Three.' is, is huge.
#good omens#neil gaiman#brian levine#neil the gould standard 2023#interview#neil interview#videos#fun fact#gos2#season 2#2ep6#s2 interview
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Inn Love Chapter 3
one two
cw: money issue talks, feelings of failure, james and reader being in love and idiots, a little angst (?) friends to lovers
wc: 2.6
āItās not looking good,ā you mutter to Mary, head in your hands as you go over the accounts one more time.Ā
āItās the off season, weāll find something else to do.āĀ
Sheās too kind, too understanding. You wish sheād blow up at you and quit for not being able to pay her on time.Ā
You sigh, long and hard. You have to figure it out. The Secret Garden is your baby, and even though this is your second year owning it, youāve still not figured out how to supplement the off season so you make a profit.Ā
You donāt know if youāll ever be able to.Ā
āWe might have to. How do you feel about starting up line dancing lessons for a little bit? Just until I figure it out?āĀ
Mary grins, nodding her head. āIāve missed it some. Wonāt exactly be hard to get back into.āĀ
Maryās the best worker you have. The only one you have really, but sheās still the best.Ā
You close up your books, and double check that all the rooms have been checked out of and begin locking up.Ā
James is waiting for you on your front steps, hat tipped low as he leans against one of the beams.Ā
āHey Jamie, didnāt know you were stopping by.āĀ
You try for chipper, a smile in your voice as you hold your tote bag on your shoulder.Ā
āWanted to see if you wanted to get lunch with me.ā
You pause, reaching right in front of him. Itās instant, the way a frown fights for the space of your smile. Itās also instant the way James notices.Ā
āWhatās wrong?ā He takes your bag from you, leading you to his truck.Ā
āNothing. Where are we getting lunch?āĀ
James frowns a little bit, but doesnāt press. āHad Chinese dropped off to the house, got all your favourites.āĀ
You grin, James does this a lot and it makes your stomach flip every time.Ā
āMeet you there?āĀ
James frowns again, then shrugs. āYeah, darling.āĀ
You double back to your own truck, James setting your bag in the bench seat.Ā
You watch James pull out first and take a moment to collect all your worry and all your anxiety and stuff it deep in your chest, burying it with a bit of hay before sighing.Ā
You canāt let James see youāre worried or anxious, heāll sniff the information out of you and if you tell James then youād have failed.Ā
The first year it was understandable, the second year; youāre not sure you could tell the person who helped you build the inn from the ground up that youāve been having months of money troubles.Ā
You pull up behind James, sliding out of your car and racing him to the front door.Ā
āYou still cheat.ā he says with a smile, you shrug while pushing open the door. Inside Jamesā house, youād think it was hot, all the southern heat trapped in the walls, but itās always cool.Ā
Heād explained it to you once, the stone and wood kept it cool, but also he had put in a central air con to maintain the chill.Ā
āI got shorter legs than you James, itād never be fair.āĀ
James shakes his head, following you to his dining table where all the boxes are already laid out.Ā
āHow much noodles am I allowed?ā James rolls his eyes. You always eat most of it and he always gets you your own box because why deprive you of your favourite thing?
James doesnāt think thereās actually anything he could deprive you of.Ā
āDoes lack of sleep mess with your memory?ā
You grin when he passes you an entire box, and then the rest of what you usually like.
As you eat, the talking kind of subsides, which is weird by yours and Jamesā standards.
āAre you sure nothingās wrong?ā He asks when you migrate to the living room, laying out long on his sofa while he sits with your feet in his lap.Ā
āWhat do you mean, Jamie?ā You try hard not to stiffen your body as you respond.Ā
He sighs, hands squeezing the arches of your feet. āI dunno, something feels wrong. Like you feel down.āĀ
God you could cry right now. James has always been in tune to you like this, as you are with him, but it sometimes gets to be too much because lying to your best friend hurts. Especially when he can tell something is off.Ā
āJust tired I guess.ā you shrug one of your shoulders. James hums but doesnāt say anything and you feel guilt like a hot poker in your stomach.Ā
You wiggle your toes in his lap and his hands fall back to massaging them.Ā
āWanna watch āHow To Lose A Guy In 10 Daysā?āĀ
James never has to ask twice.Ā
You donāt mean to, but you and James fall asleep right there on his sofa. Some time during the night youāve shifted, heās laying under you and your head is on part of his chest with your legs tangled up.Ā
The only reason you wake up is because Jamesā alarm is blaring and youāve got the worst crick in your neck.
āMake it stop,ā you grumble, hiding your face in his chest as he stretches. Itās comfortable even for friends, the way James holds onto your waist as he leans over you to grab his phone.Ā
āShit, sānearly four. You gotta go darling.āĀ
Youād lasted nearly a whole three minutes without thinking about the fact that The Secret Garden wasnāt doing well.Ā
Almost awkwardly, which is strange for you and James, you sit up. As you stretch all your joints crack and you sigh where James winces. Heās always hated how you can just crack your bones like that- he worries youāll break them one day.Ā
āNah I got the day off.āĀ
Jamesā eyebrows shoot up. āSo the TSG is closed today?āĀ
You wish your friend wouldnāt ask so many questions. Lying to him is hard work.Ā
āMaryās running the morning shift today.ā James looks a little sceptical but drops it, making his way to the stairs.Ā
āMāgonna get ready. You staying on the ranch then?āĀ
You nod, what else is there for you to do? Plus if you use your āday offā to be anywhere but the ranch, say going job hunting or to the bank, your quiet little town will somehow have your going-ons back to James in no time.Ā
āHeat up breakfast and Iāll make us coffee.ā James is back down in ten minutes, showered and changed into his wranglers, a thin white t-shirt and his work boots.Ā
Youāre sure youāve got yours around here somewhere.
James and you work like a well greased machine, making breakfast and coffee and doing the dishes all in one go.Ā
He tilts his head to the screen door in the kitchen that leads to his side porch.Ā Ā
āWanna watch the sunrise with me and then go round do some ranch chores?āĀ
āStill got my boots in the coat closet?ā you ask and James rolls his eyes.Ā
āWhen has anything of yours left this house? Youāre everywhere in here.ā His gaze is too intense for you to laugh it off. It also makes you feel like youāve caged race horses in your stomach and theyāre butting their fences.Ā
āYou say that like itās a bad thing, Jamie.ā is all you can manage before going in search of your boots.
James doesnāt think itās a bad thing at all. Honestly, he wishes there were more of you in his house; heās just not sure if saying that to you will cost him everything.Ā
Shoving your feet into the boots you sigh, then take a peek out at the sky and shiver. āIām taking a coat.ā
āTake anything you want.āĀ
This is why you canāt tell James about your money troubles. Heās going to give you anything to turn it around, but youāre not sure if anything he can give will. You also canāt use him anymore than you already do.Ā
āRace you to the stables!ā James takes off before you can even put down your empty mug.Ā
āYouāre such a cheater!ā You whine as you race behind him, his laugh floating back to you as you reach the stable doors.Ā
āTakes one to know one,ā he says playfully, causing you to roll your eyes.
James holds the door open for you and as soon as you get in you head for Snowglobe.Ā
āMy baby,āĀ you coo, already kissing the side of his face while James lets his own horse, Landslide, out.Ā Ā
āYouād swear he wasnāt nearly twenty three.ā
āDonāt remind me Jamie.ā you grab a brush and go through the usual maintenance just as James does with his horse.Ā
āWeāre riding up to the fences to check on the horses, then weāre feeding them.ā James talks about his day like itās easy, but you remember the hard work that goes into ranching. Youāve got your work cut out for you, and youāre not even doing the hard stuff like moving hay or any of that.Ā
āLead the way, Cowboy.āĀ
After a couple hours, you go back to the big house and take a shower, well and truly exhausted. James wouldnāt let you haul hay, so youād been feeding the animals, cleaning the stables and doing a bit of general cleaning up around the ranch while he and his farmhands mended parts of the fence, herded the cows and hauled the dried heaps of hay.Ā
By the time James comes in, youāre halfway through preparing dinner- beef stew.Ā
āI wouldāve cooked after my shower, darling.ā James says as he hangs up his hat and boots.Ā
āYeah, but now by the time you come back down, we can eat together.āĀ
James frowns again, youāve never been away from TSG for this long since itās been opened and itās worrying him that you wonāt talk to him about it.Ā
If heās honest, you havenāt gushed about the inn since you left it yesterday- which is very unlike you. That place is your pride and joy and everyone knows it. Especially James.Ā
He holds his tongue on his worry and nods.Ā
āIāll be back in ten.āĀ
Through dinner, youāre on your phone, checking your accounts, trying to see where you can make more money or if youāll have to do the one thing you donāt want to.Ā
After your sixth sigh in ten minutes, James sets his cutlery down and reaches a hand for you.
āDarling, I know you said itās nothing, but itās clearly not. Can you tell me whatās wrong, please?ā
Before you can answer, Sirius bursts through Jamesā house.Ā
āDid you see TSGās been closed all day? Wonder if everythingās okay.āĀ
You freeze in your seat when James turns to you with wide eyes and a slack jaw.Ā
Sirius coughs to dispel his embarrassment. āSorry doll face. But why are you closed? Is everything alright?āĀ
You canāt even be upset with Sirius because for all of his faults, heās always concerned about you. He feels very much like an older brother in that way, even when heās giving you shit.Ā
You rest your head on the table and sigh.Ā
āDonāt be upset Jamie,ā you start, slow and more than a little nervous. You donāt know how youāll feel if James is angry with you. You donāt want to feel like a failure to him. You donāt want to fail yourself even more.Ā
āI think Iām gonna have to close the inn.āĀ
Sirius gasps, James frowns. āForever or for a while?āĀ
You lift your head, āFor a while. Iām not sure how long. Iāve got to go over the account but weāre not making a profit right now.āĀ
āDarling,ā he says at the same time Sirius swears.Ā
Tears spring in your eyes. āI know, it hasnāt been making profit or any sort of money for a couple months but I thought it would pick up again, but I guess late summer is not our season.āĀ
James stands quickly when your first tear falls and Sirius ruffles your head.Ā
āThereās nothing to be ashamed about, it happens. I can help you work through it.ā You shake your head at Jamesā proposal.Ā
āYou helped me start it up and I canāt even keep it running through the entire year. I canāt expect you to help me every year that I have a slow period.āĀ
Sirius tuts, āYou could always sell your bakes in the off time, dollface.āĀ
James wipes your tears away, āI can still help. I donāt mind helping out.āĀ
You shake your head. Sirius seems to get it before James does, and what it is youāre trying to say.Ā
āNo Jamie, I think maybe working on the ranch or doing a little baking on the side would be good. Right doll?āĀ
You nod, āI donāt wanna keep using you Jamie.āĀ
James tuts, tilting your chin up. Sirius takes his cue and goes into the kitchen, looking through Jamesā pantry.Ā
āYou donāt use me. Youāve never used me.ā Itās hard to argue with James when he speaks with such conviction but you know you have.Ā
āBut I did. When I was opening up TSG, it was you helping me.āĀ
James smiles then, āYeah I helped, darling. It was a mutual thing. Weāre friends, of course I helped you. And I can help again, but if you want to do this part on your own, Iād get it.āĀ
James wipes your tears, gentle and sweet as ever. āI need to go do a final closing for the season and set some things in place, but can I stay here in the meantime?ā You force the words out, soft and whispered against the space between you and James.Ā
āYou can stay here as long as you like,āĀ
āThanks Jamie.āĀ
He shrugs, dimple poking out in his cheek as he smiles at you. āYouāre always welcome darling, cāmon Iāll drive you to TSG and help with lock up.āĀ
As it turns out, telling James youād been struggling wasnāt that bad. It was hard and youād felt like a failure for a little bit, but he talked good sense into you and now youāre staying with him till the start of autumn.Ā
āI can work the ranch, Jamie.ā You proposed on your second night on his sofa.Ā
āYou cannot work the entire ranch.ā James wasnāt even being funny about it either. You really canāt. You get cut up easily and you blister worse than he does.Ā
āOkay, I can work the stables.āĀ
James rolls his eyes good naturedly, tossing a bit of popcorn at you. Youād both been watching a new horror that James had seen advertising. Watching is a generous word because you both talk through all the dull parts and you squeeze his fingers in anxiety during the freaky parts.Ā
āAs opposed to?āĀ
You giggle, āHey, I can work the garden or help milk the cows.āĀ
James chuckles then, his dimple on display making you want to poke your finger in it. āSame cows youāre afraid of? You can work the stables darling, you know your way around it.āĀ
You squeal, leaning up and closer to James to kiss his cheek. You love doing it because James goes red hot and canāt stop his flush. Even as kids heād go beet red the minute you gave him a kiss to his cheek.Ā
āYouāre the best James. The best ever.āĀ
He grins, āIām glad you finally noticed.ā The pillow behind your head whacks him in the face as you groan.Ā
āThat was yuck, donāt ever say that again.ā James laughs through your disgust, slotting your pillow behind your back again and holding your feet in his lap as the horror builds.Ā
#cowboy!james#cowboy!james potter#jamespotter#james potter#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#james potter imagine#james potter drabble#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter blurb#james potter fluff#james potter angst#james potter x reader#james potter x black reader#james potter x you#james potter fic#james potter x yn#james potter x y/n
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So, you mentioned low standards of research in podcasts. I don't listen to podcasts or watch a lot of videos about fandom analysis, but I have seen error corrections happening in the wild for what I have listened to, so I can only imagine how annoying it is when you know your shit.
Do you have any resources that come to mind as things everyone who likes fandom should be comfortable with, or specific essays on uniquely important fandoms (such as Sherlock Holmes or Star Trek) that everyone should read? Obviously the OTW resources are up there; what else?
Aside from resources, do you think there are any skills that are especially vital for getting to the bottom of fandom trends? Interview skills are probably pretty high up there.
Any pitfalls you see a lot of young fans falling into?
(I do a lot of fandom history research. It is the thing that gives me joy in fandom; other people like shipping or AUs, I like my little mini-anthropology sandbox and watching how ideas spread. I'm not necessarily good at it, but it's fun!)
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Well... it's the usual things.
For example, a lot of fans claim to love fandom stats, but the ones that get passed around come from like three people. The people doing those stats, including me, don't usually have a statistics background, which doesn't automatically make them bad, but it really seems like people are just trusting anything with a pie chart.
We've recently seen people discover that those year-end AO3 ship stats have a seriously weird methodology. They don't show the thing their fans are actually trying to find out. People were pissed. But most of the time, they don't even bother asking what the methodology is or trying to do anything themselves.
There's far too much sitting back and waiting for some BNF to spoon feed one publicly-available information.
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The big failings aren't usually the math itself but, of course, not knowing what question to ask, so it pertains to history research, not just stats.
You'll see a lot of stuff on shipping that looks at AO3 because AO3 shipping numbers are easy to pull... But AO3 shipping numbers don't just happen to be easy to pull: that is both an effect and a cause that is directly related to AO3's content. Someone interested in meta shouldn't be asking "What do AO3's numbers show?" as their first question. They should be asking "Why is this metadata available or not available and what does that mean on a sociological level?"
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Thing two is the eternal I Have Apparently Never Heard of Anime problem. A fuckton of people theorizing about fandom trends seem to know fucking nothing about whole massive sectors of fandom or treat them as afterthoughts. This is okay if you're writing a history of Media Fandom. It is criminally stupid if you're trying to talk about what makes a piece of media have fic when another doesn't, what kinds of websites make fandoms take off, etc. Those kinds of broad questions need a broad understanding of what's out there.
It's not anime-specific, and I'm not asking for a high degree of knowledge.
I have routinely had people tell me that best friend ships and mystery/crime as a genre aren't popular, and that's why AO3 has this or that pattern... Meanwhile, buddy cops are the bedrock of oldschool slash fandom and make up basically all of the longest-running Western m/m fandoms that aren't Star Trek. CSI slop tends to have legions of future canon het shippers, and they make plenty of fanworks. It's just that some of this is more visible on FFN or older places, not AO3.
I'm always seeing things like someone speculating about how this and that anime fandom thing or bit of mid-00s FFN community drama led to this other thing on AO3, not realizing that AO3 came out of LJ Western fandom slash culture. To them, FFN is so central that it must be the main reference point, not the bajillion and one archives AO3 founders ran or Usenet or mailing lists or LJ.
I once saw someone asking on twitter about where a prominent Ranma fic might have been posted in the mid-90s. People claiming "My professor is an authority!" came out of the woodwork in droves to blither about K/S zines and then LJ. Not only was this entirely wrong, but the right answer was blindingly obvious if you knew enough to interpret the google results. I can only assume that the person tweeting had never heard of Usenet and didn't recognize the acronym for the big anime fanfic group that literally everything like this was first posted to.
I'm talking people insisting that fandom only goes for white characters when it's very obvious that fandom goes for majority leads who are not othered. All the bawwing in the world about "People assume anime characters are white" won't get rid of The Untamed or Kpop thirsters or whatever.
I'm talking sweeping pronouncements about gender and fanfic writers where the person hasn't even heard of FIMFiction or SpaceBattles or Dark Lord Potter cheesefests.
I've been in fandom for a long time, but I wasn't in all these parts, and I wasn't around for 80s zines. You don't need deep knowledge until you pick a research topic. But it's shocking how little shallow, broad knowledge a lot of people have when they're writing their Theory Of All Of Fandom History.
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People are stupid as shit about survivorship bias, and fandom history is no exception. They're also dumb in the opposite direction, assuming that the thing they like now has always existed in this exact form.
For example, someone got mad at Fanlore for supposedly not documenting the history of f/f zines. Others have searched and searched for the zines of their old show they got into last year and are bewildered to not find any. The reality is that Fanlore editors are attempting to document every Media Fandom zine and have combed through old adzines looking for any mention of anything. Because of the methods of distributionābecause it was expensiveāsmall fandoms often had no zines at all.
Femslash fandom doesn't seem to have gotten enough critical mass to do much until Xena. The internet has really democratized things, but even the early internet was still somewhat in that old mindset where only certain popular things have a fandom. I think Yuletide itself, which started in 2003, really helped spread the idea of rare-but-existing fandoms being a thing. FFN and perhaps some other multifandom archives like Media Miner played a huge role.
Nowadays, we think of fic as just how you respond to media, any media, even if there are only two fics for that one car commercial, but that isn't how people saw things in every eraāor at least it's not how fandom infrastructure worked. A lot of the time, the big hosting spots were single-fandom archives, often with restrictive content rules. Finding somewhere to post a m/m/f OT3 fic used to be hard. Never mind early zines when photocopiers didn't even exist yet and you had to sell out your print run of 500 to make a go of it.
All good research starts with a lot of preliminary investigation to figure out what you're even trying to look for.
Actually bothering to look for fans talking about their own history or casually chatting with your interview subjects before the formal interview will put a person miles ahead of many of the cringeworthy fandom ~papers~ I've seen.
The biggest mistake people make is going "Okay, these numbers aren't perfect, but some numbers are better than no numbers".
Bullshit.
As soon as there's a pie chart of the false numbers, everyone's brain turns off and they never look at the chart subtitle, never mind the research notes.
Bad numbers are often worse than no numbers.
Look at the logic behind the methodology first. Look at the social context. Basic understanding of human nature and familiarizing oneself with the shape and hangout locations of a community will get you most of the way there before you sit down for a specific interview or try to collect any specific numbers.
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None of this is a fandom thing. Research is research. It's just that most people think "research" means watching a tiktok that the algorithm likes and were never taught how to evaluate a source for reliability.
Evaluating sources is a skill. I had explicit lessons on it in school. Lots of people don't, and that sucks.
Honestly, watching the more thoughtful debunking content on non-fandom topics, like Miniminuteman's stuff on pseudo-archaeology or Dan Olson's... everything, is a good window into critical thinking, and that's most of what's missing from bad fandom history.
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But more than any of that, more is more. Not the crap stats, but the narrower, more personal accounts, the interviews. The more fans who investigate their little corner that isn't the same old AO3 site-wide "Why is there so much m/m?" ship stats or the same canned "Everything comes from K/S" history, the better.
What I object to is not amateur efforts but efforts that pull from the same small pool of data or that just reblog a tiny handful of supposed authorities.
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If people are going to read just one thing... hmm... go try to look up a history of rec.arts.anime.creative, not because I think it's the most important fandom history out there but because it's at the nexus of things a lot of current fandom history work miss.
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Hi sorry but people on twitter are saying youāre a nazi and I was just wondering if that was true??
Not only is this quite outrageous take on someone without like 0 actual proof. I can admit in the "proof"(the zionism thing which people mean as Nazism) people used against me was me at most being insensitive/ignorant which i already sincerely apologized for because i wasn't edjucated on the matter whatsoever. It was not right of me and I never repeated that after i found out about the truth of things.
But also this is ridiculous. I'm not american, I'm from a country that has been wartorn by nazis and communists. All my life I was taught about atrocities these two sides did to central europe and other countries. If you had a swastika tattooed on you here you would get literally arrested or killed on the street. But that isn't even an argument, that's just me stating how stupid and hypocritical it would be of anyone to support such things from the area i was raised in. I'm highly anti nazi, anti facist or anti anything that is even similar to that. I stand with civilians and innocent people that are being collateral damage to war and governments. Therefore I'm not a trump supporter, i was always left leaning i was always for rights. Hell I'm a bisexual woman, how could i ever support someone like Trump in my right mind?
I do not understand where this claim is absolutely coming from and i dont understand how people disregard the severity of saying this online with confidence. This is such a serious accusation that can ruin reputations unrightfully and just shows how people have no interest searching for more proof or anything before saying serious things because all they care about is drama and that the finger is not pointed at them in that moment. We as society got too comfortable about canceling and just saying anything, growing into complete parasocial relationship within each other. You are either no person to them, no human being or you are a glorified idea. Everyone is a person behind that screen and if they ever got over they pride and looked themselves in the core they would understand they also do mistakes and not everything is black and white.
I'm hurt by these accusations. This isn't anywhere close to calling someone names or weird for having odd preferences and stuff in fandoms. This is claiming that I support actual genocide, suffering of real people which is fucking awful. It makes me sad, deeply hurt. I'm not saying im better than anyone else, i dont need to be, I want this genocide to end same as anyone else would. I reflected, I took criticizm to heart and I'm now trying to truly do something with my following, i retweet donation links and donate to the charities with spare money i have.
The truth is, no matter what I say, it will never be enough for the people that just want to have moral highground, they act like they never made a mistake, like they were never ignorant in their life. I wonder how they would like it if someone took something terrible out of context and endlessly kept posting it on social media just to feel better without you having a proper chance to redeem yourself, always being seen as a "nazi" in some people's eyes because someone lied about you. It's sad and I'm sorry you keep seeing this lie about me. I think about it every day. And with this message I wanted to let you know what I truly feel and think. If you believe it is on you, but I'm finally putting my thoughts out there after months of thinking.
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I really love the idea of āāLogan assuming that Wade has always been a mutant, only to find out in some random way that Wade was actually a āfailā experiment.
In his home universe, Wade Wilson was a human with extraordinary physical abilities and reflexes, but not a mutant. So, upon seeing his face for the first time in the Void, Logan automatically assumed that this variant of Wilson was definitely a mutant. Besides, it made sense that he wasn't a human. Deadpool could survive literally anything.
(superrrr Angst/Fluff stuff over here)
****
The prompt would go something like this:
One day, while walking through Central Park, they came across a small exhibition of mutant artists. This caught Logan's attention, as he has always openly supported any kind of mutant project.
Without explanation, he dragged Wade towards the exhibition. From the beginning, Logan could notice Wade's nervousness and discomfort. He had become strangely rigid in his movements and for onceā¦ He shut up voluntarily.
Feeling a little weird with his partner's attitude, Logan decided to get away from the crowd with Wade. Once in a more private place he asked:
- Okā¦ Are you gonna tell me whatās wrong with ya, bub ?
- Ahhhh nothing, noopeee, nada !
- You know that I can tell that you are lying, right? Like literally I can Smell it all over youā¦
- Wellā¦ It's pointless reallyā¦ like really dumb. You donāt have to worry about itā¦
- Quit the bullshit, mouth! If it was a ādumbā thing, you wouldn't be like this. You didn't even comment on one of the paintings with a fucking tennis ball on it
- Gagged ! No pun intended.
- You fucking idiot - Snikt!
- Ok ok relax !!! Pull the kitty claws awayā¦
- I swear, I never thought I'd say this, but starts talking Wadeā¦
- Ok, it's just that... I felt a little out of place. All those mutantsā¦ like everybody was happy and talking to each other, I don't know... It's not that I have anything against mutants, of course not, I support the cause. I fuck with all the equal rights for mutants and stuffā¦ it's just that, I don't know... I felt like I shouldn't be there... Also, what if you were recognized, Peanut? Then your community would associate you with me and let's be honest, almost nobody wants that... Nobody wants to be seen with lil old Deadpool, imma right?
Logan is a man of few words. He has always kept control of his thoughts and actions. There are very few times when he decides to remain silent, simply because his mind has gone blank. This is one of those times.
- Hey !!! Earth calling Wolvieā¦ are you okay? Holy shit I think I talked too much againā¦ Look, Iām reeeeeeally sorryā¦
- What the actual Fuckā¦
- Excuse meā¦ what?
- Like What the actual Fuck, Wadeā¦ I donāt understand. How can you feel out of place among your own people? And what is all that shit about me being seeing with you?
After Seeing his partner's worried face, Logan decided to be a little gentler with his words. He didn't want to close the opportunity of communication between them. Also, Logan didnāt want to make him feel even more insecure.
He really didn't understand the situation and wanted to know whatās going through his lover mind. Soooo with an extreme delicacy, he grabbed his partner's hand and with a sweet gesture, he commented:
- Okā¦ Princess, donāt worry. I justā¦ want to understand you. Please walk me through itā¦
- I meanā¦ If you ask that kindly - Respond Wade with a small smile. - Like I told you, I donāt feel welcome between mutants at allā¦ Like the X-men didnāt want me closeā¦
- Fuck the X-men! If they don't want you around, it doesn't mean that any other mutant will feel good in your company. I love your company. As mutants we have to watch our backs togetherā¦
- Wait wait waitā¦ I truly loveeee all this sweet speech of yours, I truly amā¦ but peanutā¦ Their is a detail. Iām not a mutantā¦ or at least, I wasnāt born as oneā¦ you knew that, right? Righttt ???
Again, mind blank. This is a record, Logan should treat Wade with an ice cream as a reward.
- Okā¦ Well, I guess you didn't know
- How?
- Excuse me, loveā¦ How what exactly?
- How you become one? I meanā¦ you are saying that you arenāt a mutant. Then what happened?
- Ohhh Peanut, buckle up for a sappy Origen story !!!
To say that Logan was not prepared for the story would be an overstatement. He had no words to describe the pain that was crossing his heart.
Logan could empathize with Wade's suffering, but fail to assimilate the fear and hopelessness that Wade probably felt in those darker times. Itās not easy to accept the end of the road when you have loved ones around you.
- And like I told you, I'm not exactly welcome anywhereā¦ I'm not human enough to be well regarded on the streets and I'm not mutant enough to play nice with the X-Men and their little joy club. It's not like I want to be with them either... They're all idiots who can kiss my disfigured fucking ass ... But I'd be lying if I told you I wouldn't like to belong somewhere... I don't like feeling lost, Logan. Thatās why I take good care of my familyā¦ Thatās why I try to take a good care of youā¦
- Wadeā¦ Iā¦
- Nope, no words Peanut. Itās ok. Iām used to it. Iā¦ I just need time. Besides, I don't want to cause you any trouble. Like I said, I want you to be happy. I don't want any doors to be closed to you because of me. I would hate myself even more if you were excluded because of me. That's why I'm worried that you'll be seen with me in such a public wayā¦. I love you and I want the best for you, Loganā¦
- Wadeā¦ This is too muchā¦ I
- Ohhhh Iām sorryā¦ I donāt want to be overwhelmingā¦ I justā¦
- Noā¦ Itās not thatā¦ Itās too much to processā¦ Iā¦ Wade, I love youā¦ I truly love you. Iām not good with words, but I could tell you how much I love you and how much I love and crave your company. I donāt give a fuck about anybody elseā¦ I want you by my side all the time.
- Ohhh Peanut, itās okā¦
- No, itās not ok. Stop it. Itās not ok what you been through. Itās not fucking ok how you being treated and I swear to god, itās not ok how you been excluded by the people that was supposed to help youā¦ So fuck it ! Fuck them ! Fuck all of them !!! We donāt need them, princess !!! We are better without them !
- Come Logan, donāt say that ! Thatās why I didnāt want to tell youā¦
- No, Wade. Donāt ever lie to me about this things. We are partners, lovers, whatever you want to call us. We are together. If you are not welcome, neither I am.
With even a greater gentleness, Logan released Wade's hands to hold his face. His eyes were tearful with emotion.
At that moment, Logan remembered how beautiful the love of his life truly was. He also made a promise to himself, he would never let anyone hurt Wade again.
- I need you to engrave this inside your head my princess, I would never be ashamed of loving you. Of holding your hands, kissing your face and hugging your body. I will never regret chosen you !
Immediately, Logan ended that promise of love with a sweet and slow kiss.
Wade did not deserve to be an open secret. Wade was his mutant lover and no one could change that fact.
***
I was cooking this in my sleepless nightsā¦ I need to rest, but my insomnia is severe and F upā¦
I hope you liked this š¤Æ
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At the risk of having the fire of a thousand angry hockey nerds upon me, I'm going to share the deep dive I did today. I'm going to preface this with this is driven by me being curious about rule and game mechanics, and wondering why reffing sometimes does what it do, especially when incomprehensible on first glance to me. (Translation: this is a hyperfocus neurospicy dive, not a "my blorbo did nothing wrong." My blorbo did do wrong.)
I was pissed at The Hit. It looked really bad. And then I also was wondering WTF the refs were on.
So I found a gif and broke it down into individual frames.
And: I think they were right. MĆ¼ller's stick is what hit her head, and Flaherty herself didn't, and it was weird flukey shit that made it happen as bad as it did.
PAUSE. I ask you please not come at me without at least reading the whole post. And it's long.
First: I really hope Muller is not too badly hurt, and I am worried, and it was/is upsetting she got clocked so hard. I shit talk Boston because historical MN Boston woho rivalry, but omg I don't want to see anyone hurt. Ever. Especially head injuries. I've had multiple concussions, it makes me ill to watch.
Second: The hit Flaherty delivered was illegal. Period. Yes. Their bodies were not going the same direction. That is against the clarified body rules, and is normally a two minute minor. A penalty was absolutely warranted.
But. Frames and further dissection below the cut. Be mindful they're just as ugly and scary to look at in still frame as in action if not more so. That was your content warning, and please regulate yourself accordingly; I'm not accepting abuse here.
so, chronological key frames from the impact. Hopefully Tumblr don't fuck these up
Looking at the frames, Flaherty never touches MĆ¼ller's head. She kicks her elbow up to deflect MĆ¼ller's stick, which is headed straight for her throat because MĆ¼ller is holding it high, but drops her elbow right before contact. The result is still ugly as it hits in the collarbone region which is so not a nice place to get hit, but it is not a major penalty the way a check to the head is.
The high stick catches on Flaherty, and Flaherty's directional momentum whips it up into MĆ¼ller's head. MĆ¼ller's head doesn't move until Flaherty is past her.
The collision is still on Flaherty because she initiated the illegal contact which started the whole thing. But the call was an illegal check to the head, which is a specific thing. And that rule reads:
Rule 48 ā Illegal Check to the Head will automatically initiate a further review with the PWHL Central Situation Room, by which referees may confirm their original call, reduce the penalty to a minor if the hit was accidental, or rescind it entirely if the review determines the head was not the main point of contact.
In this case it was pretty clearly accidental since I don't think Flaherty was out there doing the physics of how to get the stick to whip. Her head wasn't the main point of contact *at all.* So them going in between the two extremes of the rule feels appropriate imo since the fallout was so bad even though the head wasn't a point of contact between players.
(As an aside, I was curious if they could change the penalty to "illegal body checking" and assess it as a major, because I could be sold on that being potentially could be appropriate, that it was a bad body check that resulted in injury, but if I'm understanding rule 20.6 correctly, the answer seems to be no:
"The Referee shall have the following options following such review: (i) confirming their original Match Penalty call; or (ii) reducing her original Match Penalty call to a lesser penalty for the same infraction."
If I'm wrong pls lmk!)
So with all that context... It makes much more sense how that shook out imo. Or at the very least I see how someone(s) could legitimately arrive at the conclusion they did.
I don't say this all to say what happened was ok, or that it wasn't bad, because obviously minor shit can escalate bad. I'm not even super interested in convincing people a suspension or major isn't/wasn't warranted though I'm uncertain how they would've managed it with not making a body check call in the first place.
I say all this because a)I do think sometimes refs see stuff we don't. (Was a ref looking right at them at an angle we don't have and can't recreate that was compelling? Did the ref hear the damn stick thwack into the helmet?) b) the conviction that the refs are rigging shit is utterly ridiculous and c) the vitriol I am seeing is unnerving and gross. Wishing injury on anyone sucks. Casting people/entire damn teams as evil and willfully trying to cause severe injury sucks, and the evidence isn't there imo when you put the bits together.
If the stick hadn't been there, it would've probably been a garden variety thuggy hit that absolutely warranted a penalty but would not have been so catastrophic. The kind of play we expect from a physical game.
But nasty unexpected hits are gonna happen. It's fast, it's rough. I'm glad the league is putting stuff in place to try and keep those moments down. But they're still going to happen, even with no evil intent or even overly egregious carelessness.
And again, I really, really hope MĆ¼ller is ok and recovers well. I do expect her to be out a while (THAT will tell me more about the PWHL's commitment to player safety than anything,) but I hope it's as short as possible. It absolutely was scary and I get why people are upset; it is upsetting that it happened, regardless of how the rules shake out.
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The thing that really annoys me about the conspiracy theories going around (especially the Izzy-centric ones and especially That One Meta, iykyk) is the complete and utter lack not only of genre awareness but any realistic understanding of how OFMD operates.
If you actually watch the show, you should understand two things.
This is a rom-com. The central romance between Ed and Stede and comedy are therefore the two most core parts of the show, with Ed and Stede's romance taking priority over everything else. That's not to say OFMD doesn't have dark themes, it absolutely does; it's to say that comedy is always important to how the show is written, acted, and filmed. If the most obvious explanation for "what is this line/scenario trying to tell us?" is "it's funny," then that's clearly why the scenario is in the show.
This is not a subtle show. That's not to say it's a simple one; one thing I love about OFMD is all the background details and gags you only pick up on a rewatch. It's amazingly layered and emotional responses by characters are often extremely complex. However, when the show is trying to tell you something, it's not subtle and it never tries to hide it. The closest it ever gets is Ed in the gravy basket, and even then it's written so we find out the instant Ed does and we've already had clues to suspect something from how the mutineers are acting. If you're watching OFMD and thinking "hmm I wonder what they're trying to tell me here," you're probably doing something wrong.
That's why I'm so completely baffled by conspiracies such as
"How much was Ed hallucinating/dreaming??" After he gets out of the gravy basket, none of it. Very obviously none of it. Why would you assume they had time to waste this season on trying to confuse us about what's actually happening?
"What if Ed actually killed Buttons?" Okay, putting aside that just not happening on screen and therefore the most reasonable assumption being that he didn't, what would that actually do for the story? Buttons turning into a seagull underscored season themes of change. Ed killing him would be confusing, weird, and extremely out of character.
"What if Ed was the one who killed Felix the cabin boy?" This one absolutely baffles me. That story is transparently there to show us what Hornigold was like as a captain and illustrate why Ed hates him. Ed doing that instead of Hornigold would be wildly out of character and inconsistent with everything Ed does.
And my favorite, the one that made the author of That One Meta instantly lose all credibility for me when I skimmed and saw it:
"What if Ed and Stede's new shack is stinky because they actually have Izzy's body in there and Ed's in denial of his death, etc. etc."
Well. Given my awareness of the show I'm watching. I feel pretty safe in saying that it's stinky in there because, and I can't stress this enough, this is a comedy and sometimes it is funny for things to be stinky.
#ofmd#our flag means death#i am just. so baffled#it's okay to be sad your little guy died but like. what are we doing here
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Anya + unraveling the mystery of the Desmond family (and Damian being different)
When Melinda debuted, I wrote a post about how she was potentially a character against the Forgers because Anya hadn't met her (we gain insight into characters via our deus ex machina Anya meeting them and reading their minds). Anya has met her now and the narrative has established that she genuinely cares for Damian (even if she's still a mysterious character).
After a long time, Demetrius is finally here. He's still mysterious, but not antagonistic to his brother and still cares for him. Like I said in a previous post, Demetrius subverts what I said above because Anya cannot read him fully even if she's met him. But regardless, Demetrius is here, we've seen him, all four Desmonds have finally debuted. And in my mind, I can vaguely connect them to the Forger-Briar extended family:
Anya - Damian: The kids aiming for stella stars and seeking parental approval. Attached to their dogs. Occasionally heroic (dodgeball, handkerchief, bus hijacking), but ultimately silly kids dragged into "adult" political matters (Anya with more awareness than Damian).
Loid - Donovan: Standing in for WISE vs war, one of the central conflicts. They are fathers and authority figures. Loid, faking a job as a psychiatrist, seeks to understand people (as a fake job, but he also does this as a spy). Donovan famously declared that people would never truly sympathize with each other. A good, attentive father and a neglectful father.
Yor - Melinda: The mothers, the narrative kind of puts them in the background compared to their husbands, but we know they have plot behind them. Yor's job as an assassin is unknown to her family (sans Anya). Melinda has struggles of her own when it comes to parenting her kids / being married to Donovan.
Demetrius - Yuri: Bit of a stretch, but they're both characterized as genius brothers and on the side compared to the main father-mother-child trios. Yuri works for the SSS, in direct opposition to Loid. Demetrius is a middle schooler?? Heās a child so heās probably not that involved in the main plot, and if he is, itās not willingly / he was brought up that way. They're both younger (and less experienced) compared to the adults- Demetrius is still a child and Yuri is 20. Yuri's affection for Yor is overflowing and the Briar siblings are very supportive of each other. In contrast, Demetrius is passive and apathetic, but not uncaring.
Anya has met everyone except for Donovan. Anya thinks both Melinda and Demetrius are weird. And Anya thinks of Donovan as the evil super boss. To her, the Desmonds are "weird". "All of Sy-on boy's relatives are such weirdos" - not sure if it's just the translation, but this line seems to imply Anya thinks Damian is exempt to the weirdness of his family. After all, unlike Demetrius, she can read Damian's thoughts normally. And unlike Melinda (and Yuri, and Fiona), she usually doesn't get bombarded with an overwhelming wave of intense thoughts when she reads Damian's mind.
And that brings us to the next point - Damian's time in Eden and the positive influences he receives (away from his family). Damian and Anya are better friends now. E&E's loyalty and affection for him have been established countless times. Becky congratulates Damian this chapter. Despite Damian thinking people suck up to him to get close to his father, he has a group of friends who do care about him (including Becky who doesn't suck up to him). Outside of what we see from Anya's pov, Damian has teachers and his dorm mother (Jeeves too) who care for him. Damian isn't alone.
Damian is shown to be disconnected from his family for whatever reason. His parents didn't come to his orientation. Damian says he doesn't see his parents often. Melinda cares for Damian but isn't allowed to see him often / afraid to be seen with him (?). Damian has called Demetrius before but this is the first time we see him meet Demetrius in person. And we all know about Damian's goal of impressing his father. Damian seems to believe Demetrius and Donovan when close when they were younger (when Demetrius was slightly older than Damianās age), but Damian receives no such attention. Despite this, Damian still manages to have a fairly happy school life with his friends and supportive adult figures.
I think Damian's growing friendship with Anya and the recent complete reveal of the Desmond family will push Anya into thinking Damian is not like his weird family. If anything, Damian is more like Anya and her associates. Post bus-hijacking, Damian from Anya's POV is seen as more likeable / sympathetic, even more so now that we know about his mother and brother.
Anya is a child who is exposed to some of the darkness in Melinda / Demetrius' heads (trauma from being close to Donovan?), and she doesn't really understand them. Melinda / Demetrius seem off to outsiders (we saw Yorās reaction, Becky thinks Demetrius is creepy) but itās only Anya whoās capable of reading their minds and knowing how weird their thoughts are. But Anya has a much better understanding of Damian, the youngest Desmond, who is a kid like her with understandable motivations (getting stars, impressing his dad) similar to Anya's own motivations.
Interesting to note that Demetrius, while at Eden, seems rather lonely and disconnected even within his peer group. When he walks down the stairs, the panel frames it as him being alone, while Damian has four friends with him. When Damian and Anya get their stars, their classmates are shown to be smiling / impressed. When Demetrius gets his stars, we see two of his peers sweatdropping, almost looking wary, while a blushing girl has her hands to her mouth. The story doesn't show Demetrius' peers celebrating his success. It feels like Demetrius' peers are used to him getting good grades but still in awe of how good he is, but... they're not really close to him. Demetrius is not social and says he doesn't understand people, and maybe he doesn't interact much with his peers.
This chapter also reveals Demetrius is not in regular contact with Donovan anymore, contrary to what Damian believed. So Demetrius seems removed from the Desmond family sphere, but also isn't super integrated into the Eden sphere (in contrast to his 6yo brother and his friends). We can believe Demetrius isnāt close to Donovan because he is annoyed (and triggered?) by the mere mention of his father. Clearly Donovan has done something scarring to both Melinda and Demetrius and their thoughts look weird to Anya. Damian, despite craving for his father's attention and being stressed about it, is still relatively unaffected.
From now on, I think we'll slowly get more information about the Desmonds while Damian remains separated from them in the narrative. Damian is introduced as a vital part of Plan B due to his connection with his father, but even Damian himself admits there's not much of a connection. Plan B is working (sort of) because Damianya are friends, but that doesn't mean it's easier for Anya to meet Donovan. I think the narrative has been pushing Damian away from being a plot device for Plan B to being Anya's genuine friend and a victim of the Desmond parenting. At this point, Damian is not really useful to the main plot and there's not much mystery to this 6yo child.
Damian still thinks of himself as a scion of the Desmonds and heās desperately trying to get his fatherās attention. But his dad doesnāt really care, his mom loves him but doesnāt want him to be near Donovan, his brother is similar and also seemingly doesnāt want anything to do with Donovan. Meanwhile, the story establishes him as a boy with a crush on Anya, a boy with friends who will readily sacrifice themselves for him, a boy whoās willing to protect his classmates. All around Damain, his peers, associates, and the story itself has long been defining Damian as someone outside of being the Desmond family. But Damian naturally holds onto it.
Damian isnāt mysterious to Anya because she can read him. Okay, she still thinks heās a brat sometimes, but thatās Damain being Damian, not Damian being a Desmond. But everyone else in the family is mysterious and it makes Anya feel at least vaguely uncomfortable.
The Desmonds are probably connected to Project Apple, and with the recent hints of Anyaās backstory, we might get some of that. But Damian is framed as almost completely separate to whatever went on, while Melinda and Demetrius are portrayed as victims of Donovan, mysterious and a bit weird but still sympathetic.
And thatās why I think itās coming togetherā hints of Anyaās backstory, Damianya becoming better friends, the Desmonds all here. Weāve scratched the surface off and weāre hopefully going to see more.
(Also, just a thought: if Damian indeed goes through a ādark arcā and becomes more like the rest of his family, Anya will know because she can read his mind. She will be able to tell if Damianās thoughts also start being āweirdā. But they are better friends now which could be a lead up to her helping Damian deal with the pressure and struggle.)
#spy x family#damian desmond#demetrius desmond#anya forger#long post#spy x family spoilers#sxf analysis#meta#more rambles#donovan desmond#Melinda desmond#hope this is at least 15% coherent
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Not sure if anyoneās said this yet but now that we have Laterano events plural Iām fascinated by their (imo) very deliberate choice of protagonists, and there are almost a couple of layers of narrative going on there. I struggle a little figuring out how to get this into words but specifically I think theyāre chosen to be people who can carry a narrative without contradicting the orthodox morals of the church. Thereās a LOT of vaguely anti-authoritarian rambling below the cut so please kindly bear with me and my English major brain.
I canāt really start there though. One of the reasons this is so brain hurty is how deeply itās woven into the storyline, so to start, I have to verbalize how Laterano and Arknights writing more generally is different from other, similar settings. Because like, I hear the words āmorally negative church in a grimdark settingā and my brain immediately shuts off. Come on, thatās so far beyond low-hanging fruit, if youāve seen any grimdark setting ever you know exactly what that looks like. And sure, it was fine the first two or three times you saw it, depending on your tolerance for that kinda thing, but it gets boring quick and even when it was new it was kinda uninteresting story-wise. āReligion is always fake because it inspires hope which means everyone who takes meaning from it is either a corrupt grifter or naive and misledā isnāt just edgy nonsense, itās also basically useless as an actual critique. It tells you absolutely nothing except how to tune out a particular kind of story, and a story that tries to get you to hear less is doing its job wrong.
So, Arknights does something different. Instead of denying the premise of the church entirely, it actually takes it at its word. Laterano is, in almost every definition of the word, a paradise. It is basically unmatched in terms of actual quality of life, with its only competitors being the Durin cities and maybe Aegir, and is worlds apart from now much the rest of Terra sucks. More than that, though, the paradise is specifically tailored to the worldview of a religion with a strong central authority - when I say it takes it at its word, I mean the authoritarian bits too. Laterano is a city that lives in perfect order and peace because everyone follows the law perfectly and they all understand each other and never fight. Empathy is really important for this, as it allows for a believable amount of superhuman societal order. Laterano has very little crime, political drama, or quarrels in general. Itās the promises of a strict higher authority actually taken at face value: everyone follows the rules and that means they have effectively unfettered freedom, because they donāt want to break the rules and therefore they can do anything they want.
Laterano is specifically written to be a believable paradise in a setting that has none, so that when the story then turns around and criticizes that setting, it has significantly more weight. Even when the promises of paradise are taken at face value, there are still issues that cannot be addressed because the system is inherently flawed even in the imaginary scenario where it works. Even worse, the problems that poke holes in the imaginary perfect scenario are the same problems that they face in the real world, like āhow do you deal with the interpretation of scripturesā and āhey thereās this racism thing I keep hearing about should we be worried about that or whatā. Because of the way this imaginary perfect system works, we then look back on our real world in a new light and understand it a little better. Itās good critique.
Okay so how did we get here and what does this have to do with the protagonists? Well, this starts with Fiametta in Guide Ahead, because sheās a really weird protagonist. This is a cold take at this point but despite being the character on the front of the box, she has very little to actually do with the central conflict of the event. Most of the conflict is handled by Ezell first and Andoain second, and Fiametta mostly putters around putting holes in people until the finale where Andoain receives the answer heās been looking for, he turns to explain it to the world, and he runs into the only person in the whole of Laterano who does not care about his motivations or his revelation. Her role, in other words, is to replace the climax of Andoainās story with her own, and in doing so she makes it much harder to actually get a resolution and a meaning out of the story (this should not be taken as a criticism of her character, let me cook). Guide Aheadās ending is hazy, with only small piecemeal resolutions to its conflicts, and for the longest time that was just the way the event was written and it stood on its own.
But now, Hortus de Escapismo is out and the monkey brain see patterns. Specifically, with the choice of protagonists. Because Executor is definitely different from Fiametta as a protagonist, but thereās one particularly important connection between the two, and thatās that as I mentioned in the beginning, they allow for stories donāt contradict orthodox morality. Fiametta we went over, as sheās uninterested in any of Andoainās morality and just wants him dead. Executor, though, is purely focused on his mission and views the world through that lens. He only wants to achieve his objective, and while helping the needy is in line with the stated objectives of the church and he does do so when able, itās secondary to his assigned task. He does change as he gets further into the story, and weāre not gonna ignore that, but weāll be back to it later. What I mean is more that he is designed as a person who is able to lead a story that doesnāt contradict with the morals of Laterano. He sees the injustice and suffering around him, but thatās not his job, so he doesnāt need to solve it to have a complete story with a happy ending.
This is where it really gets complicated, so I apologize if I donāt explain this very well. I see this as us dealing with multiple layers of fiction: the events of the story, the perspective of the church, and our perspective as readers. Back to the first point - authoritarian institutions almost always use stories to sell people on their brand of order. Simple stories, simple enough that even calling them myths seems like overselling it a little, your āSaint George slays a dragonā kinda thing. This is the point of the second layer, the perspective of the church. I donāt really have an in-world justification for this layer - maybe you could make the argument that it has to do with Lawās perspective on things, but I donāt totally buy that - I think itās more in a weird narrative transition space for people who donāt read very carefully. Regardless, Fiametta and Executorās shared indifference to the questionable circumstances surrounding them is designed to let them tell a story to prop up the existing order. Their protagonist status and their missions are specifically constructed to allow them to ignore the suffering around them, and as such ignore the larger questions that might poke holes in the larger order. Theyāre both playing out the story of Saint George, where they go and find a bad guy and kill them and thatās all there is to it. The story is designed and told specifically for that āthatās all there is to itā.
But, as we said earlier, this is a good critique, and as such it intentionally undercuts this story with the third layer: what we actually see as readers. We are shown the suffering and the injustice, and then get to see our protagonists ignoring that to pursue their goals. This is what gives Guide Aheadās ending its unique texture, which sets it apart from every other event with a vaguely unresolved ending. We have seen the actual issues with Laterano, and also watched our protagonist explicitly ignore them in favor of her own story. Itās unsatisfying in a way that only really makes sense to me if we as the readers have an understanding of intentional authorship. Whether it be Yvangelista XI or Law or The Actual Real Life Pope, there are issues here that we want to see a resolution to but people are choosing not to address them. Again, itās good critique. Not only does it push the reader to unpack and understand the actual real-world technique, but it also helps blunt it. You have just seen a plot and protagonist ring uncharacteristically hollow. You then look around to see why that is, and you realize there are many things that should have been resolved that werenāt. The next time you see a story resolve with that same hollow-ness, you know where to look. Surprise! Harry Potter was propaganda the whole time. Itās okay, it was never good, you were just twelve.
I guess the last thing is where we go from here, because Executorās story breaks this mold somewhat. In Hortus de Escapismo, he has to deal with a mission that isnāt actually bounded by his normal rules, and because of that he actually does have leeway to help the people around him. He starts as someone who is totally mission-focused, but by the end of the event heās done a total 180 and is blocking Orenās attack, which makes the mission harder but helps the non-mission-critical civilians of the monastery. He breaks from the rigid thinking of ākill the bad guy and thatās all there is do itā, and gives his attention to the people he isnāt supposed to see. I think this is an indication of the direction weāre going to be headed in the future with Laterano events. The events arenāt going to get better - theyāre going to keep being just as morally murky and complicated as in the past - but the characters are going to get better at handling it, and when they do, theyāre going to actually start to change things for the better.
Goddamn that was a lot of writing for 1 AM. I still have a. Lot of thoughts on this event with stuff like empathy and Lemuen and Federico being an autistic icon(my beloved) but Iām going to leave things there, I think, because if I write for any longer my phone is going to crash when I try to post this. Anyway if you actually made it to the end thanks for listening to me rambling and I hope that made sense. Cheers.
#arknights#arknights thoughts#hortus de escapismo#laterano#fiametta#executor arknights#I deadass had to ask folks to proofread this one#to make sure I didnāt sound like I didnāt sound off my rocker#also donāt mind my random Harry Potter slander thatās an entirely different rant
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What your favourite Hetalia character says about you this is light hearted
Italy- you're basic
Romano - you're basic but you think you're not. You kin him
Germany- you probably have some unresolved issues
America - you are American and have never bothered to look at a map. Or you like your version of America that is ooc
England - I will never understand you
Canada - people ignored you in school
France - you're horny as fuck
China - you are either Chinese or have studied Chinese history or like wuxia. You get annoyed when Canada is subbed in for China when China is far more interesting of a character
Japan - like Japan you're chill to the point where I don't even see you.
Lithuania - I don't want to know the fuck happened to you in your life to find him relatable
Poland - jesteÅ polakiem
Nordics - there's something off about you but in that way that there is something off about every Mormon I've ever met.
Prussia - you either think he's cool or you just want to ship your other fave with him. You probably like military history but don't want to look like a Nazi. Or you're polish and hate how Polish Prussian history is overlooked in the fandom despite Prussia literally almost decapitating Poland in the show.
Russia - you like the Cold war. You probably have a bunch of weird history memes saved on the phone.
Hungary - you like shipping. Idk I don't usually see anyone with her as their top character.
Austria - you are jewish. Or you are into western European history.
Netherlands - you are either Indonesian or also a Canada fan
TĆ¼rkiye: you know it's the closest hima will get to ever depicting the middle east, central asia, west asia, and North Africa so you take it.
Micronations - you like Hetalia but don't like history.
Yugotalia: you're here for memes not political correctness.
Portugal : simply a stepping stone to the character that really matters... BRASIL!!!!!!! CAMPEĆO DO MUNDO!!!!!!!!!
...Or you're weird and like either Spain or England
Sorry if I don't have everyone I don't interact with enough people to really know some of the characters.
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