#but truly i wish i could give a better reason for leaving - it's nothing that happened or anything like that !
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xserpx Ā· 3 days ago
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morse for the ask game?
How I feel about this character?
(Caveating this with the fact I haven't yet watched Inspector Morse, so this is only about Endeavour.)
Normally I'm not at all a fan of whump and I don't like feeling sad for well-meaning characters who are hurt repeatedly through (mostly) no fault of their own, but I really love Morse's brand of melancholia. The way he struggles to deal with change is too damn real, I'm a sucker for characters who struggle to voice their feelings and whose anxiety causes them to say nothing, because bitch me too. I also like that he's shy but it's kind of a selective shyness? Like if you catch him at the right moment or say a certain thing, he can be very snappish and outspoken and even funny, but then in those (incredibly important!) moments where he feels truly vulnerable, he just clams up, and it's heartbreaking and delicious to watch.
It's also undeniable that he is a massive prick sometimes. His treatment of women, his pretentiousness, there are moments when I want to slap him upside the head and I'm like you deserve this shit buddy! Monica my beloved, she deserved so much better from him. As much as he craves deeper connections with people and as much as I really want him to find a place to belong and settle down, it's so clear why he can't, why he shouldn't, and it's so deep rooted that in a way if he actually made a more concerted to change and do better he'd pretty much be a different person. And I like that the show never compromises on providing answers or catharsis for his struggles. Change happens, that's life, and there's often no way to deal with it that doesn't hurt.
I also love his dark academia style and the way it's grounded in finding meaning/belonging. It's not that it doesn't give him a sense of superiority at times, but like... that was his rebellion in the face of anti-intellectualism and abuse at home, and in a way I feel like he's earned the right to that pretentiousness. I think it dilutes some of the intimidating effect that opera and classics and poetry can have - some people listen to the Beatles, he listens to Wagner, one thing isn't "better" than another - but without binning it off entirely so that we still get to enjoy the commentary on classism. Plus watching him school the Oxford dons is always fun :P.
All the people I ship romantically with this character?
Romantically, hmm... The trouble is I end up feeling sorry for either Morse himself or whatever woman he's got his eye on at the time!
I love Joan and Morse, and I'd love for them to work things out, but the more time passes the less and less suited they seem to be. It's one of those relationships that's more about yearning than it is about getting together. They struggle to communicate and they're constantly miserable. He puts her on a pedestal because of her family, and Joan likes him because he's an enigma, and they can't move past that. But at the same time, fanfic exists for a reason, and I still love the yearning despite it all.
I'm not sure if I ship it romantically per se, but Max is another one where I feel like they could be more than friends, they're very Sherlock and Watson (and this fic by gaytobymeres is so good I love it). That scene with Morse and Max having tea in Max's garden is one of my favourites in the series, and I want that life for Morse so badly! Literalllyyy at the end of Exeunt I was like dude just move in with Max!! He'll never leave Oxford! He'll come along to your choral recitals! You have way more interests in common than any of your girlfriends have thus far! And he's lonely too, bless him ;w;.
My non-romantic OTP for this character?
I don't think there's a single character I don't ship Morse with platonically?? All I want in the world is a pub quiz fic featuring all of Cowley CID (and Trewlove) but I'm not clever or patient enough to write it. I wish we had more teamwork episodes tbh, and I think that's the best thing about seasons 5 & 6 (as dissipated as CID is at the start, that just makes them coming back together all the more heartwarming).
Morse & Thursday are of course the freaking bedrock of the show, they're just insanely good and I genuinely want them to be together forever. As much as he misses Joan at the end, I really want a happy ending where Thursday and Morse can stay together. At the same time, what with the whole men in the 60s reinforcing one another's emotional repression, I kind of wonder what would've happened if Thursday had been able to steer Morse in a different direction, and if it would have had a knock-on effect with helping Morse express his feelings for Joan and maybe end up somewhere better. But their characters are so intertwined it's hard to separate out the what-ifs. I do think Thursday had more of an impact on Morse than Morse did on Thursday, but you could maybe chalk that up to age. Leopards don't change their spots, etc. Still... lamenting lost potential is what grief is.
I'm also a huge fan of Morse & Trewlove tbh, he's so relaxed around her?? He tells her stuff he never tells anyone else?? They fake marry?? Ridiculously sweet. They share the trait of being incredibly dedicated and detailed in their work, and it bleeds over into a genuine appreciation for one another that they don't really have with any of their other colleagues (save for maybe Trewlove & Bright, another fantastic platonic OTP in my book). I also can see them being friends w bennies but I def don't ship them romantically.
My unpopular opinion about this character?
Not sure if I have one tbh. I haven't been here long but I generally think the wider fandom has it right about most things. Maybe not including Jakes as some brand of OTP? I feel bad because I love Peter, I just don't see him and Morse being particular friends any more than Morse and Jim are tbh.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
Um, happiness. Just, all the happiness. I wish he could communicate better. I wish he'd had a better childhood. I wish his house hadn't been burgled and that he could still listen to Rosalind Calloway without taking emotional damage. I wish he hadn't been beaten down and that he could feel secure and safe, and have a fulfilled life outside of work. Great tragedies always keep the happy ending in sight, and Endeavour does that incredibly, painfully, well.
If I had to choose something specific to have happened in the show, I guess I would have liked to see more of Joyce. I'm fascinated by their relationship and I really loved every cameo from Morse's past that we saw, plus episodes like Cartouche with cousin Carol. Tbf I have heard that Joyce shows up more in Inspector Morse, so... šŸ‘€
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dreamwinged Ā· 28 days ago
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anyway HIIIII!!! i'm sorry for going inactive out of nowhere! i missed u guys, and i hope every1 has been doing well :> to be honest, i've realized this site makes me really anxious so i likely won't be coming back or being active like i used to be. i'll still keep my blog up, and might pop back in every now and then to say hi, but i probably won't post consistently or anything like that :<< however, i srsly love and value all the connections and friends ive made via this blog so much, all of u are so lovely, and ill miss u lots šŸ’˜ i am (embarrassingly) active on twitter, so if anyone has it, dm me and id love to be your mutual there! :D fair warning i talk a lot about my selfship, but i find that for whatever reason im just more comfortable there :} ((OH AND DISCORD. IF ANYONE WANTS TO EXCHANGE DISCS MSG ME!))
sooo yeah!! ueueue i dont know how to end this... wishing peace and love and f/o kisses for all my moots
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togeblurbs Ā· 3 months ago
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Do You Miss Us?
Five Hargreeves x F!Reader - angst with a happy ending (yeahā€¦ happy ish ending)
synopsis: when you find out Five and Lila kissed, you donā€™t know what to feel. All you know is that you need to get away. Because it was one thing for them to kiss, and another to realize that in the time spent apart, Five Hargreeves may not love you anymore.
content/warnings: hints of anxiety, curse words, cheating, s4 spoilers, mentions of disassociation, morally grey characters, not lore accurate, not really canon, doesnā€™t focus on the plot moreso reader & fives relationship, lmk if i forgot anything
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ā€œY/n, please,ā€
you continue walking, wiping away the incessant tears that stream down your face. you feel nauseas, and your chest hurts in a way that it pains you to breathe.
he catches your wrist in his hand, and you turn around, angered. ā€œWhat? What could you possibly say that would make this better, Five?ā€
he looks distraught, if not more than you and the thought has your hands shaking in fury. for what reason did he have to be so upset? you werenā€™t the one who disappeared for a few hours - which ended up being seven years - and then kissed another person.
ā€œI fucked up, I didnā€™tā€¦ You donā€™t understand, I was losing my mind.ā€ he slips his hand from your wrist to intertwine your fingers, but you shake his grip off in disgust. he looks at you so brokenly at the action, you almost feel bad.
but then you remember her, and you feel the bile rise to your throat once more. ā€œI donā€™t understand?ā€ you say slowly, taking a step forward.
you point at him, ā€œI think youā€™re the one who doesnā€™t understand. I knew some shit was going on between you two, with your secrets and odd glances. But I trusted you, Five. You know why?ā€
he looks at you with wide eyes, seeming almost unsettled by your outburst. ā€œBecause I loved you.ā€ you whisper.
you huff out a laugh, shaking your head as you wipe the remnants of your tears. ā€œBut that didnā€™t matter in the end. You were alone with her for seven years, so it makes sense. I wish you nothing but happiness, Five. Even if itā€™s away from me.ā€
you turn, moving to walk again, but he crashes into you from behind and wraps his arms around you. ā€œPlease,ā€ his hands are trembling where they rest on your stomach, and although you want to soothe him, you donā€™t think you are in the place to at the moment.
you take a shaky deep breath, before carefully untangling his hands from your torso. he whimpers pitifully at the action, and you have to stop yourself from giving in and drawing him closer.
you used to bring him comfort, give him love and make him feel safe; but it seemed it was not enough; because in the end he chose someone else.
you turn back around, ā€œI need some time alone right now, Five.ā€ you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, ripping the skin. you donā€™t want to look at his face, so you choose to stare at the chipped paint on the wall.
Five lifts his hand for a moment, before dropping it. ā€œWill you come back?ā€ his voice has never sounded so childlike; as though he canā€™t bear the thought of you leaving and never coming back.
you swallow harshly, ā€œIā€™ll come back.ā€
he nods, his own arms wrapping around himself.
ā€œI just donā€™t know if it will be for you.ā€
you take a chance and glance at his face, hating the way your heart hurts when his expression crumples.
back in the room, you were so sure he was in love with Lila, but now youā€™re starting to doubt yourself. because if he truly felt something for her, would he really be crying in front of you right now?
you donā€™t know. you also donā€™t feel like you have it in you to make any assumptions.
you turn around, your back facing Five. ā€œIā€™ll see you later. Donā€™t follow me.ā€
and with that, you walk out of Fiveā€™s life, unknowingly carrying his heart with you.
-
Five lays in a bed - not his, for years itā€™s never been his - and recounts the last seven years.
he remembers missing you immensely in the beginning. for the first three years, you were all he could think about.
and then his friendship with Lila began to grow. the time he wished to spend with you, he was now spending with her. it was odd at first, because the two were not close friends of any sort. but when youā€™re trapped in a different time-line, or different universe, you become allies with those you normally wouldnā€™t.
somewhere along the way, they had provided one another with the comfort they lacked from their significant others.
it wasnā€™t supposed to end up that way. it wasnā€™t.
but now Five canā€™t get the way you looked at him out of his head; it was like he physically shot you in the chest, or told you he didnā€™t love you. like he betrayed you.
he grasps at his own chest, curling up into a ball beneath the covers. he feels like heā€™s going to die.
and maybe that would be for the best. heā€™s lived a long, torturous life. with a nut-job for a father, siblings that were always thinking about themselves and a lover who heā€™d ruined everything with, what was the point of life anymore?
its been a month since Five had seen you, and the ache in his chest has yet to go away. he couldnā€™t find it in himself to eat, often laying in bed as Luther force-fed food down his throat in fear that he would truly pass away.
itā€™s just another late night, and Five takes the time to stare at the broken glass window as the sun begins to set. the only sound in the room comes from the clock, the constant ticks helping him disassociate and think about you.
he distantly hears the door creak open, but is too exhausted to look at who it is. he doesnā€™t really care anyway, because he knows itā€™s not going to be you.
ā€œFive?ā€
he blinks slowly. it almost sounded like you, but he figured he was hearing things at this point.
ā€œFive,ā€ he feels a hand smooth over his shoulder. gentle in a way heā€™d only ever experienced with you. his head turns, if only slightly, and he catches sight of your concerned face.
his eyes widen, he forces himself to sit up even if his arms have little to no strength left. ā€œWhat are youā€¦ what are you doing here?ā€ he croaks.
you sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed. itā€™s far too away from Five, he wants to pull you in the bed and bring you into his arms.
ā€œShould I leave?ā€ you glance at the door for a second, but Five immediately grabs onto your hands and shouts, ā€œNo! No, please. Please stay.ā€
you look shocked at his outburst, nodding softly.
the silence in the room is deafening, but Five is merely happy youā€™re there. Seven years and then some apart from you was not easy, and after his last conversation with you, he knows heā€™ll feel unsettled until he makes it right. if he can make it right.
ā€œI did some thinking.ā€ you start, cautious.
Five watches you with fear, scared to hear your next words.
ā€œIā€™m not angry anymore. I understand you went through a lot being trapped again, and I canā€™t blame you for falling in love with Lila since she was there for you. I do wish you broke it off with me before kissing her, but whatā€™s done is done.ā€
your voice comes out stable, like youā€™ve thought it all through and are content to leave things as they are. but Five is shaking his head the moment you say the word love and Lila in the same sentence, because that could not be more far from the truth.
ā€œWait, please stop it,ā€ he begs, seeming desperate.
ā€œI understand why you might think that way, but I do not love Lila.ā€ he feels lighter with the words being spoken. heā€™s been aching to clarify this the moment you found out they kissed, but hasnā€™t had the chance.
your brows furrow, and you pick at the cotton sleeve of your hoodie. ā€œUm, I see.ā€ you look so confused, he canā€™t help but move closer to you.
you look at him, body rigid. you donā€™t seem comfortable around him anymore, and the thought has him clutching his chest in pain.
ā€œY/n, I love you.ā€
you recoil immediately, and it prompts Five to reach out instinctively.
the words tumble out of his mouth, like heā€™s scared youā€™re going to run before he can finish getting everything out. ā€œI havenā€™t stopped loving you, Lila and I.. when we, you know, it was a moment of weakness after losing you and being trapped again. I wished every day that I could see you, but I was stuck.ā€
you move to stand, and a part of Fiveā€™s heart breaks for what he thinks will be the last time ever. because if you walk out of this room, he knows he wonā€™t be able to love again. you are it for him, and if he doesnā€™t have you, then heā€™d rather stay alone for the rest of his life.
ā€œIā€™m sorry, I truly am. I understand if you donā€™t want to be with me anymore, but I need you to know that I love you.ā€
at the end of his little speech he breathes out, listening to his heart thump loudly in his ears.
itā€™s odd, he thinks. love has always been so painful, so destructive. but with you it was simple. it was calm, steady and soft. he wonders; he hopes, that heā€™ll be able to experience it again. after all, a healthy type of love was rare for his kind.
he watches you walk closer, reaching a hand out and placing it on his cheek. he leans into it, closing his eyes as he missed your touch immensely. you use the other hand to push his hair back, planting a kiss on his forehead.
his eyes shoot open at the feeling, and he stares at you in wonder. he begins to feel hope bubble in his chest.
ā€œYou love me?ā€ you ask quietly.
he nods, ā€œOnly you. Only ever you.ā€
you exhale, shoulders drooping as you move to sit beside him. you wrap an arm around his waist and one on his neck, pulling him down as you lay on the small bed. his head falls to your neck, and he sneaks a small kiss in, hoping you wonā€™t push him away.
ā€œI canā€™t promise that iā€™ll forgive you completely. At least not right now. And Iā€™ll probably hate Lila forever, but I donā€™t think I can walk away from you knowing you love me.ā€
you run a hand through his hair, feeling him nod into the space between your head and your shoulder. ā€œI know, I completely understand.ā€
you pat his head gently, staring up at the ceiling.
ā€œI love you too, Five. I donā€™t think I ever wonā€™t.ā€
he rubs his face into your neck, and you feel something wet touch it. you card your fingers through his hair once more, cooing.
ā€œThank you,ā€ his voice comes out shaky, but he hopes you hear the sincerity.
you shift the two of you until youā€™re underneath the covers, cradling him in your arms with his head on your chest. ā€œDonā€™t thank me yet. I will be making out with Diego as revenge.ā€
Five lifts his head, ā€œWhat?!ā€
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sorry if this is ooc:>
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titaswrld Ā· 4 months ago
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I have a request for a deadpool fic, if you could make a very angsty story where deadpool thinks he is undeserving of love and never thinks someone in this world would fall for him šŸ˜­ he is self-conscious about his looks and never in his right mind it crossed him that he has a chance with the reader, but he would do anything just to feel loved. he's just a constantly depressed ball of sadness, and the only way he copes with his thoughts is his dark humor. while the reader is head over heels for that man, and she's showering him in love, but he only thinks it's because they're friends šŸ˜­šŸ«¶šŸ¼
monster
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description: wade wilson being insecure about his looks, not knowing if the girl he loves would ever love him back.
paring: wade wilson x reader!
contains: angst! with happy ending (i didnā€™t know how to end itšŸ˜­)
w.c: 1.2k
|an: finally writing forreals again! i needed to get back into it. thank u for ur request, i hope u like itšŸ˜‡ reader is a baker bc i couldnā€™t think of a more wholesome career pathšŸ˜­
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youā€™ve known your best friend, wade wilson, for almost a year now. starting off as just occasional friends, hanging out at each other's apartments, watching chick flicks, and eating your weight in junk food until your friendship grew into something deeper, feeling nothing but love and admiration for another and the desire to be something more.
heā€™s so in love with you; he knows that now. he tried to deny it; he tried telling himself thereā€™s no way, thereā€™s absolutely no way a woman as intelligent, as confident, and as kind as you could ever love a monster like him. He knew you deserved betterā€”a handsome, young, intelligent accountant or something.
his field of work is dangerous; he knows that. killing random people he doesnā€™t even know for cash. large sums of cash, sure. but, nonetheless, killing. he honestly always found it humorous, a trained marksman, mercenary, and vigilante , with his super cool awesome, still in school to become a pĆ¢tissiĆØre best friend!
he knew youā€™d leave; he knew no human being on planet earth could bear even looking at his rough, bumpy skin. thatā€™s why heā€™s yet to show you his face, never failing to wear his mask around you, even though youā€™ve known each other for so long now. he didnā€™t know why you were still around after all this time even with the mask on, he knew most people found him to be annoying, aggravating, and just an all around piece of shit person, but for some reason, you liked him, and you enjoyed being around him.
heā€™s never had someone so close to him, as you are with him. youā€™re so kind, so affectionate, and so touchy. he thinks itā€™s just pity, youā€™d never think of him as anything more than a friend.
he dreamt of being the man who loved you the rest of your life; he wished that he could fall asleep and wake up to your face every day, make you laugh every day, eat every meal with you, watch every movie and every show, spend every holiday together, fuck, even start a family. he craved you. he craved your love, your care, and your kindness; he wanted to be normal with you, but heā€™s not normal, far from it. he knew better than that. he knew he didnā€™t deserve that. he would never be the man that you love.
heā€™s not ready to let you go, but he canā€™t keep his feelings for you inside any longer. he honestly dug himself into an even deeper hole, choosing to come over almost every free night he had. he couldnā€™t stay away from you; he hated being away from you. during every mission and every fight, all he thought about was coming home to you. youā€™re the only person who truly understood him for the man that he is, and he loves you for that. heā€™s never opened up to anybody the way that heā€™d opened up to you. you were special, so special to him. he was terrified.
you felt hopeless, stupid, and desperate. every advance you made, youā€™d failed. from baking him his favorite treats, to holding his hand while you watched a movie on the couch, to giving him hugs that lasted a little longer than necessary after a long mission, you couldnā€™t get your best friend out of your mind, not if you tried. hou crave him, his love, his care, his stupid fucking jokes that never end, his sarcastic nature, his sassā€”you donā€™t think you have ever loved a man the way that you love wade.
sometimes, he made you think that he might like you back, that he might have some sort of romantic interest in you, but it was quickly shut down after he made a joke, basically telling you that it would never happen.
you and wade were sitting on the couch, just talking, telling stories, and catching up after a particularly long time apart. until you had thought of a statement, that couldā€™ve told you whether or not wade may or may not feel the same way.
your best friend, mia, had mistaken you and wade for a couple while on the phone. when you denied her statement, she apologized, saying sheā€™s sorry for assuming, but you did spend all your time together..
when you told wade what she said, he doubled down in laughter before spitting out, ā€œyou? me? never. who is this friend? have i met her? has she seen me before? you might need to get her 5150ā€™d.ā€
which did shatter your heart into a million pieces, but nonetheless, it wouldnā€™t stop you from trying to show him how much you care, how much you want to be with him, and how much you want to love him. he deserved love, and you wanted to give it to him.
each time he made a self-deprecating joke, it broke your heart. it was torture for you. the most he would ever do is lift his mask slightly when he ate with you, only to pop a piece of food in his mouth, then sheathe his face with his mask once again to chew, repeating the process until heā€™d finished. but even then, you never looked out of respect.
there were multiple occasions where you couldā€™ve snuck a peek, where you couldā€™ve turned around and saw his full face, but you knew how genuinely insecure he felt and how scared he was for you to see his face, so you never looked, not wanting to betray his trust or make him uncomfortable. you loved him, and you wish he understood that absolutely nothing could change that. especially not the way he looks.
today, you were sat on your couch, waiting for him to arrive. He said heā€™d be over tonight for the usualā€”rom-coms and junk food. but today, you felt different, your balls finally dropped, and you were ready to admit how you felt, whether it was a good or bad outcome, you were ready.
every single worst-case scenario clouded your thoughts, making your palms sweaty and causing a deep ache in your chest until you heard a knock at your door, saving you from plummeting even farther into your head.
you open the door, and time feels slow motion. you didnā€™t see deadpool; you saw wade for the first time- the real wade. standing there with an anxious expression plastered across his mottled face, snacks in one hand and flowers ripped from the dirt outside of your apartment complex in the other.
your stomach dropped along with your expression, the shock stunning you into place as you began to gather your thoughts. this is what he was hiding, you thought. jesus christ, all of that trouble for this? you could almost hit him.
wade, on the other hand, paced in your hallway, back and forth for 15 minutes before this, trying to decide whether he should just bail and leave the fucking country or finally stop being pussy and just show you his goddamn face.
after seeing your initial reaction, his head dropped, his gaze on the floor, as he muttered, ā€œi know. total freak show, right? freddy kruger? craterface? cmon, lay it on me.ā€
now was your chance, as you cupped his face with your hands and pressed your soft lips against his dry, cracked ones. you felt his tense muscles drop and relax as he melted into the kiss, relishing in the feeling and making sure it was real, too.
youā€™d pulled away, looking him in the eyes and flashing a smile his way before placing kisses all over his cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin.
your gaze fell across his face once again, this time meeting you with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.
ā€œsoā€” ten things i hate about you, or steel magnolias?ā€
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neptuneiris Ā· 1 year ago
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detachment (02/03)
did Aemond Targaryen truly loved you?
pairing: prince!aemond Ɨ niece!reader
summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.
word count: 7.9k
previous part ā€¢ next part ā€¢ series masterlist
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hello beautiful people, finally here is the chapter you have been waiting for so long, im so happy, I hope you like it a lotā¤ thank you very much for readingšŸ„ŗ
comments and reblogs are always appreciated, thank u, you are all awesomeā£
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ā€”TWO MOONS AGO.
"I'm so sorry, my sweet girl."
"No, it's all right, mother. Do not worry."
"I know this is not what you wished for butā€”
"It is my wish."
You interrupt your mother with a small smile that she instantly knows is neither genuine nor convincing, to which she watches you for a few moments without saying anything, watching you intently.
She takes your hand and places the other on your right cheek to come closer and leave a sweet kiss on your left cheek that you allow to feel that love that only she transmits and comforts you.
She then pulls away from you a little without letting go and watches you with a small smile on her lips and a slight gleam in her beautiful lilac eyes.
"You know you have my full support, my love. And don't even think that I will leave you alone in all this," she assures you, "But I know you and you must not lie to me, Y/N."
You know that at this moment your gaze gives you away, as well as all the true feelings you are conveying but you still want to show your mother that you are willing to do your duty.
And it really is your relief that it is this person you are going to marry when it could have been worse.
"Mother, you must not worry about me."
"But of course I do," she tells you instantly, "You're my daughter and I love you."
"I love you too. But this marriage to Cregan Stark couldn't be better not only for me, but for the whole family," you remind her, "He is a respectful and honorable man. I know there will be much respect between us and eventually affection will be born. And we will have all the support of the North when the time comes for you to become queen."
She smiles softly again with that warmth and affection, gently stroking your cheek with her thumb, looking directly into your eyes with all that sincerity and love.
"But he's not the one you wish to marry, is he?"
So all those pent up feelings, they want to come out at that moment. And even more so because of the way she is talking to you and understands you completely.
"Even with all that your marriage to Cregan Stark offersā€¦. it's not him."
You swallow hard and press your lips together, starting to feel the tears want to come out of your eyes, as well as all that feeling for everything that happened and thinking about everything that could have been.
You remember how a while ago everything was fine, how everything seemed fine, how you thought you knew certain things and knew certain people.
However, he broke your heart.
Worst of all, you never knew why. You really wanted to know what had happened, what had changed his mind and if you had done something wrong, butā€¦ nothing.
He left you totally in the dark with his reasons. He preferred you to suffer and forget everything as if nothing had happened from one day to the next to accept his sudden betrothal to Floris Baratheon.
And you truly wanted to understand at the time, feeling completely broken and shatteredā€¦ but he never gave you an answer.
"It doesn't matter anymore, mother. He is betrothed and now so am I. I do not doubt that after my wedding with lord Stark, his with lady Baratheon will happen soon after. He made his decision moons ago and now so have I."
"Very well," she nods at you, "You learned quickly, my sweet girl. Just as I had to when I accepted my fate."
You smile.
"You mean my father?"
"Our story was in short times, always with a lot of duty involved and inconveniences. Until we could finally be together after that horrible night," she tells you softly, "But when you truly love a person, you can't help it and you just want to join your blood with them, no matter what."
You nod, lowering your gaze, understanding.
But really understanding.
You know that feeling and you know exactly who you used to feel that way with. You were even close to being able to bond forever. But nowā€¦ you're about to do your duty without that person.
"Then, my sweet girlā€¦" your mother says to you, getting your attention again, "I'll just make sure to arrive at King's Landing a day before the wedding, as you asked. Everything will be ready by the time we get there."
You smile softly in her direction, feeling very relieved at that and nod.
"Thank you, mother."
"Anything for you, my love."
After spending part of your afternoon with your mother, you head to another of the great rooms of the Dragonstone castle, where your brothers are practicing High Valyrian and your younger brothers are being cared for by the maids.
You immediately join in caring for your brothers, listening to Jace and Luke's Valyrian, correcting them on some pronunciations and helping them to formulate words correctly.
Then Rhaena enters the room as well to look after and keep little Joffrey company, letting you know that Baela has flown to Driftmark.
Normally as the night draws in, your mother and father also spend time in this Room, all together as a family, a time when Rhaenyra wishes she could freeze and stay all together like this forever.
And that's exactly what she thinks when she enters the Room and sees all her children, or almost all of them, together attending to different duties, with a little smile and loving look on her face.
Daemon is writing something on the large table, to which she turns to him, stroking her barely noticeable two-moon belly, with a new member to the family coming into the world soon, the prince or princess.
"What are you writing, my love?"
Daemon raises his gaze to her, with the seal of House Targaryen about to embed it in the letter.
"The word to Kings Landing with the news of Y/N's marriage to Lord Stark."
"Ah yes, I forgot to do that."
"And that's why I do it for you, ābrazČ³rys."
Rhaenyra leaves a soft and loving kiss on her husband's head to continue on her way to her eldest sons, listening attentively to the High Valyrian, just like Y/N, ready to correct them.
Not long after, considering that the distance between Dragonstone and Kings Landing is not too much, the raven arrives at the Red Keep with the new and unexpected news, with Queen Alicent and her father Otto Hightower reading the message.
The Heir, Princess Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing in less than two moons with her prince consort Prince Daemon and her entire family to celebrate the wedding of Princess Y/N Velaryon to Lord Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell.
"This is vile and disgusting news."
"Fatherā€”
"With Lord Cregan Stark?" inquires Otto, "Do you know what this means, Alicent?"
"It can't be that bad, still Daeron's wedding to Lady Lannister adds soldiers and ships to us for Aegon's claim. So does Aemond's wedding to lady Baratheon."
"Rhaenyra will have the whole North on her side by the time the time comes and you know it. The whole fucking North fighting for her and her bastard daughter!" Otto exclaims in annoyance, "We can't let that wedding happen."
"Rhaenyra must already be getting everything ready at Dragonstone. And to try to stop her the wedding, she could easily marry Y/N to Lord Stark somewhere else," says the queen, "It will be useless."
"Call the Maester. Call the entire Council, immediately," Otto quickly orders one of his guards, annoyed and desperate.
The guard immediately complies with the Hand's order, so that very soon all the members enter and take their respective seats in the Council Chamber.
But not long after, Aegon and Aemond Targaryen also decide to burst into the room, Aemond mostly noticing that something is wrong and Aegon simply following, his grandsire surprised to see him in his five senses.
"What's the matter?" asks Aemond serious, approaching his mother.
But before his own mother can answer him, his grandsire does, only without answering him.
"Your wedding to Lady Baratheon will happen by the end of this month."
Aemond immediately observes his grandsire without any expression, hiding his surprise well, drawing the attention of everyone else in the room.
"We will send word to Storm's End's, Lady Floris should already be here by in less than five days and prepare everything immediately," Otto continues, "Not too soon after, we will send a raven to Oldtown and Prince Daeron's wedding to Lady Cerelle will also happen."
"May I ask, my Lord Hand, why so hurriedly?" asks lord Lannister.
"Yes, why?" inquires Aemond of his grandsire as well, with a tone of voice and a menacingly serious look.
But Otto Hightower deliberately ignores his grandson.
"Are you not pleased with the news, Lord Jason?" he inquires condecently, "After all, it is your daughter who is to marry a prince of the realm, my grandson."
"Not that I am complaining, my Lord, in fact I have been waiting to hear this news ever since we agreed to join our houses. But I was also hoping, just like my daughter, that the wedding would be relevant and not too attached to another wedding also of another prince of the realm. It certainly would not draw the attention of our people."
"This is not about getting people's attention, nor how attractive the union is, Lord Jason," Otto tells him seriously and clearly annoyed, "You should feel grateful that the union is going to happen, because I remind you that this is about Prince Aegon's claim to the Throne, or have you already forgotten?"
"I asked you a question and I'm not going to repeat myself," Aemond speaks again in his grandsire's direction, serious.
This immediately gets everyone's attention, but in the end it is Queen Alicent who responds in a soft, cautious voice.
"Y/N is going to be married."
This immediately gets Aemond's attention and also Aegon behind him, who was disinterested and even annoyed to hear his grandsire's words about his claim to the Iron Throne.
But this definitely gets his attention, he even watches his brother cautiously, waiting for his reaction, just like his mother.
However, Aemond keeps his usual neutral and at the same time serious face, hiding his true emotions very well, starting to feel how those true emotions run through his whole body and want to explode.
Otto watches him attentively, annoyed and serious, instantly knowing very well what he must be feeling. And that is what he, Otto Hightower, does not want.
"Yes, Aemond, with Cregan Stark, the Lord of Winterfell," he tells him seriously, "You too have already forgotten why you are marrying Lady Baratheon precisely?"
Aemond clenches his jaw, immediately this getting his attention and watching his grandsire with a deadly and threatening look, all this together with his posture showing that he is losing his patience.
And that everyone notices.
"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him, rising from his seat.
"When?"
Aemond's voice interrupts him, in the direction of his grandsire, his whole posture tense and his hands made into fists, his jaw clenched and his gaze like that of a dragon about to burn everything to the ground.
"I told you, by the end of this month your weddingā€”
"No, when will Y/N's wedding to Cregan Stark be."
He interrupts her in a firm, menacingly serious voice.
"It doesn't matter when it will be," Otto tells him in annoyance, raising his voice higher, drawing everyone's attention, demanding, "What matters right now is that these two weddings happen before the wedding of Rhaenyra's daughter to Lord Stark so as to invite all the great houses, even Cregan Stark and form alliances before Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon."
"In two moons, approximately."
Alicent replies to Aemond, noting how his anger grows more and more as his grandsire speaks, not giving him an answer.
"That's what they said on the raven they sent this afternoon from Dragonstone."
Aemond lowers his gaze, beginning to think about it, about how the wedding will take place here, at King's Landing, where he will have to be present and witness it allā€¦to Y/N, his Y/N, getting married to Lord Cregan Stark.
Lord Cregan fucking Stark.
"I doubt we can do anything about it, my Lord," Jasper Wylde speaks, "The wedding is already a done deal, we will not succeed in convincing Lord Stark to change his allegiance."
"And this is a great advantage for Princess Rhaenyra and her claim," says Jason Lannister, " Her daughter, Princess Y/N and Lord Stark together is an excellent and convenient match."
At the words of some of the council members, Aemond can't help but feel downright sick, thinking of Y/N and Lord Stark.
As you should.
His own mind tells him, feeling the fire and anger coursing through his veins, unable to control himself, thinking about what is really going on here.
"We will do whatever it takes to still have as much support as possible. King Viserys will not last long and by now we would have to secure all possible alliances for when the time comes. If war falls upon us and if we pull this offā€¦ fighting Rhaenyra and her alliances won't be so hard."
"She will have the entire North fighting for her, my Lord."
One of the members tells him cautiously, thinking about the number of soldiers Princess Rhaenyra will have at her disposal, also all the people supporting her claim, that adding up to the whole Valley.
"That's why we need to be more clever," Otto Hightower insists, "My grandchildren's weddings will be paramount in this. We need to send a raven to Oldtown, now," he turns to the Maester, "I need Daeron here at King's Landing and your daughter as well, Lord Jason. After Aemond's wedding, heā€”
"No."
Aemond Targaryen completely interrupts his grandsire in front of the Queen and the entire Council, drawing everyone's attention, surprised by his boldness and deadly behavior in the direction of his grandsire, who also gives him a threatening look.
"You had plenty of time to plan my wedding with Lord Borros' daughter. It's not my fault that until now you are acting when your job as the Hand is to act since you knew the threats," he tells her seriously and completely firm with his words, "If you want a wedding, plan Daeron's, not mine. I will not be a part of your incompetence when I have already given you too much."
"You are forgetting your place, Aemond," Otto warns him in a careful tone and one in which he fully tells him that he does not want to contradict him now.
But Aemond has had enough.
"You are forgetting your place," he replies in kind.
"Aemond, that's enough," his mother calls to him instantly, letting out a long breath, "You don't want to get married now, that's fine. But don't forget that eventually you will have to," she reminds him earnestly, "After all, Lady Baratheon is still your betrothed and she along with Lord Borros expect the wedding to take place soon."
Again Aemond feels sick to his stomach as he listens to his mother's words, thinking of his betrothed, Lady Floris Baratheon. The very thought of marrying her makes him feel unhappy.
But it is the truthā€¦ she is still his betrothed and whether he wishes it or not, he will eventually have to marry her, because his family swore an oath with hers, not him, but his family.
And he has to live up to the weight of that oath.
"We should continue to discuss the marriage of Princess Y/N to Lord Stark, my Queen," says the Maester.
"There is nothing more to discuss, the chances are slim with Lord Stark and we will have to focus on bringing the marriage of my son and Lady Cerelle to the attention of the great houses."
Queen Alicent begins to lead the entire Council, as Otto Hightower continues to watch Aemond with daggers in his eyes, serious, furious and incredulous at his behavior.
He thought he already had everything under control, but Otto forgot that he is not a dragon and the blood of the dragon in anyone who possesses it, especially in Aemond, is chaotic and reckless.
"Congratulations, brother."
Aegon catches Aemond's eye, watching him over his shoulder as he gives him a friendly clap on the back, almost whispering his words.
"You said you hoped our sweet niece would soon outgrow you? Well, now she's marrying the lord of all Winterfell," he says with a small smile, "She's definitely outgrown you."
And with nothing more to say, Aegon leaves the Council Chamber, not interested in the matters of the realm, much less to plan a fucking wedding and have his grandsire take it upon himself to form alliances for his claim to the Throne, as if he cares about such a thing.
As Aemond stands still for a few seconds, watching him go, his words repeating over and over in his mind, anger again coursing through his body, fire, hatred.
He wishes he could prove his brother right, but the truth is that he is very wrong.
Unable to stand it any longer, he quickly heads out of the room as well, not wanting nor caring at all to discuss these matters, this room really displeasing him by bringing back bad memories.
And as soon as he faces the corridors of the Keep, again Aemond remains static for a few moments and his mind again thinking about things he really doesn't want to think about.
But he can't help it.
Like that time he also rushed out of this room, leaving the woman he loves behind, tearing her apart in the worst possible way and pretending not to care.
Even as one of the fiercest and most brutal knights of his time, Prince Aemond doesn't know where he found the courage and strength to break Y/N's heartā€¦ his Y/N.
He has always characterized himself as an honorable and respectful man, especially to Y/N, but what he did to herā€¦ was out of his nature and highly unpleasant.
And once he was in the safety of his chamber, the first thing he did was sit in one of his chairs near his fireplace, wanting to feel the fire, with the realization slowly starting to become clearer to him, realizing what he had done.
Aemond remembers the last time he cried, it was when he was a little boy in one of his episodes over his lost eye.
A terrible migraine kept him awake for a whole day, he couldn't even get out of bed and couldn't bear to see the light of day. His mother held him tight and was there for him all the time, not even leaving him alone for a second.
Alicent tried and ordered everything to make him feel better, but the Maesters couldn't do much and all he could do, all he learned to do since he was a little boy, was to have to endure the pain.
And since then, the first tear falls down his right cheek.
Aemond, upset, angry and disgusted with himself, cries. And he actually allows himself to cry as he remembers his Y/N's precious face completely shattered and red from her crying, her whole look confused and in need of explanations.
And he couldn't even give her that, an explanation.
And the worst part was that they already had it all. It was all said and done, they were going to be husband and wife finally, as they had asked for so much.
But he finally snatched away her illusion and simply left her without explanations. And that's what makes him lose control completely.
Furious, feeling like a coward, an idiot and annoyed with himself, he lets out a growl and starts breaking everything in his room, with despair and anger in his body.
He screams and blames himself for that weight on his shoulders, a weight that does not belong to him, a weight that he had nothing to do with from the beginning and a weight that he had to let go of the woman he loves when he almost had her because of his family's ambition.
That night the servants had to silently clean the room of Prince Aemond, who, unable to bear it any longer, went for a ride in Vhagar, wanting to forget everything and everyone.
And now, in the present, him in the middle of the hall with the thought of Y/N marrying Lord Stark soonā€¦ it's too much.
And he knows it's the same feeling she must have felt when he broke her heart.
He couldn't agree more that he deserves it, but he didn't want to let her go either. Nothing he did was really his choice, but that was the right decision.
And nowā€¦he still has to face the consequences of his own actions: Y/N's marriage to a man who will not be him.
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"There you have it, my princess."
"Thank you, Emelly," you smile at one of your maids, who leaves you a tray with your almost every night tea so you can fall asleep, "You can rest now."
" You don't need anything else, princess?"
"No, I'm good, thank you. See you in the morrow."
"Of course, princess. Get some rest."
The maid leaves your room, who looking at you in your mirror you continue brushing your straight, silver hair, preparing for sleep.
You've already gone to your siblings' and Rhaena's rooms, especially the little ones', to wish them good night.
Your mother and father have also already come to speak with you and have your usual conversations of the night, where they talk about your wedding to Lord Cregan more than anything else, Daemon and Rhaenyra making sure nothing else haunts your mind.
They know that a wedding can cause too much stress, especially when you're marrying the one you didn't expect from the start, talking about duty and what's expected next from you and your husband.
Your older brother Jace had told you it's a stressful but very necessary conversation, considering the next wedding in the family will be his and Baela's.
You let out a long breath, leave your brush on your dressing table and head off to drink your tea, needing to sleep.
You take the cup from the tray in your hands when the napkin catches your attention. You frown and notice how there is something sticking out from under that napkin, hidden but wanting to be seen specifically by you.
You set the cup down on the table and pick up the napkin, curious and wary, realizing that it is the small envelope of a letter, definitely catching your attention more than before.
You analyze it and there is no indication of who the message might be from. So you decide to open it, finding a small sentence and an addressee that makes your heart jump in your chest and your lips parted.
Meet me at our place by the Hour of the Wolf. I need to explain everything to you, please. I will be waiting.
A.T.
Your pulse starts to race, your whole body starts to shake and you read the message over and over again, your system making you feel more emotions and feelings as you read who has sent this to you.
You think to yourself that this must be a joke or even perhaps some kind of trap, thinking that this can't be. But you know it's him.
It's his handwriting, you would recognize it on any piece of paper, as well as the signature he always uses in all his messages, short and subtle.
Now you understand why so much mystery. But you honestly don't understand how he could have gotten his message to you. It's practically impossible.
Unless he hired or paid irrelevant people, because Emelly is extremely loyal to you and would not have done this considering your history with your uncle, as well as anyone else knows it.
Your uncle who right now must be waiting for you.
Your mind tells you as you look at his message in front of you, surprised with your parted lips, with a feeling starting to invade your chest that you don't know exactly what it is butā€¦ it causes you some emotion.
And you can't. You truly can't do this.
You remember everything that happened, what he did to you, what his grandsire did to you too, and how broken you felt, how he broke your heart and left you without explanation, only to become betrothed to Floris Baratheon.
You swallow hard, walking to your huge windows, looking out at the night outside and barely lit by the fire torches that light a little of the roads around Dragonstone, looking out beyond the sea, in the direction where that island is and where you and Aemond used to meet.
You press your lips together, feeling a sharp pain in your chest, as well as that uncertainty and beginning to take into consideration what he has written to you on that little piece of paper.
But againā€¦ you can't.
You are both betrothed. You are betrothed to Lord Cregan Stark, you will marry him soon and thenā€¦ probably he will marry Lady Floris Baratheon as well.
You know you shouldn't even consider it, you know you shouldn't feel that curiosity and longing, because he doesn't deserve it.
That's why you make your decision just as he made his moons ago.
Even though you admit that it hurts and even costs you, you still think of yourself, because he doesn't deserve you to feel this way about him, not after all the damage caused.
You don't know what Aemond really thinks, but it certainly isn't entirely wise to ask you to meet in the hour of the Wolf as if nothing had happened.
And what a coincidence that he does this just when your wedding is in a few more weeks.
You stare out over the sea for a few more moments, thinking, but having already made up your mind. You let out a long breath and without hesitation, you head to your fireplace and throw his message into the fire.
Then you head back to your table to drink your tea and drink it all down so you can finally sleep and forget this ever happened.
While on the small island in Blackwater Bay, Aemond Targaryen keeps Vhagar close by, watching as he sits on a huge rock on the sand of the beach towards the direction of Dragonstone, waiting for you.
He doesn't really find much to entertain himself with, beginning to feel anxious with each passing minute and still not seeing any dragons approaching in the night sky, getting up and pacing back and forth, letting out long breaths and trying to calm himself.
He would be a fool not to have thought that maybe you would ignore him and not even in your greatest madness, the other side of the Targaryen coin, would you agree to meet him after all that happened.
Of course he had thought about it. But he still decided to risk it.
But the minutes pass and pass, with Aemond waiting for you, disappointment and reality coming at him like a strong wave every moment he is still there alone on the island.
He feels frustration beginning to course through his body, also anger but not for you, but for himself.
He thinks of your soon marriage to him, Lord Stark and feels more despair coursing through him, not even bearing the thought.
He asks the Seven to you please show up, really wanting to explain himself.
But he knows it is too late. He was never going to get this chance, because he really hurt you too much and he knows it, he knows it and he has the memory more vivid than ever.
But even though he knew it, he can't help but be disappointed as he continues to wait for a dragon in the night sky that never came.
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ā€”PRESENT
The days go by too fast after the conversation with your mother and after so many preparations and requests for the wedding.
When the wedding day finally arrives.
Your mother overlooks her pregnancy, considering she is barely four moons pregnant, to ride Syrax and take her with her to King's Landing while you ride Silverwing so you both arrive in the capital a day before the wedding, as you wished.
You try to suppress all feelings along with the nerves of returning to the Red Keep, where there are many buried memories and people from the past. However, you are here for your wedding.
You know that this visit is brief just to get the wedding over with and nothing more, then your family will return to Dragonstone or probably your mother will decide to stay again to take care of your grandsire, while you will go to Winterfell.
You really want to know the North. It was one of the few conversations you had with Lord Stark and he agreed, as well as both of you being present at Court after spending married moons.
And you really have no intention of anything else happening and just let it happen as it should. And just before the sun sets, you and your mother arrive at King's Landing.
You meet your father, your brothers, sisters, also your grandmother Rhaenys and your grandsire Corlys, even also Queen Alicent welcomes you both back and also gives you her congratulations for your wedding.
If you didn't know her, you wouldn't know that her smile is fake. Clearly Alicent didn't want you to marry her son but neither did she want you to marry a person as influential as Lord Stark. But honestly you don't care.
She is the one who directs you and your mother to the king's chambers, to whom your mother wishes to speak and also in case she wants to dedicate a few words to you for your wedding.
On your way back to your room you meet your aunt, sweet Helaena, who welcomes your mother with a charming look and smile, also you, congratulating you on your wedding.
Fortunately you don't meet any other relevant people, just as you didn't see him or his betrothed anywhere, which you are thankful for.
Because the sooner this could happen, without distractions and unexpected inconveniences, the better.
The only thing you remember about that night when you arrived at King's Landing is that you had to drink a large and considerable amount of your tea in order to sleep, not being able to fall asleep because you were thinking about tomorrow.
And honestly also for thinking a little about him.
You were afraid that he would suddenly enter your chamber through the secret door, because surely he hasn't forgotten his request to meet you on the island to explain everything and you never showed up, but fortunately that didn't happen.
And when you least expect it, you are already at the celebration feast with all the guests present, you looking like a bride, waiting for your betrothed, everything going according to your mother's plan.
The common thing in a wedding is to get married at the Septon and then move on to the feast, but in this case, your mother chose the other way around, just like her wedding to your father, Sr. Laenor.
You learned that Alicent had questioned this, but your mother didn't care much, just reminded her that this was how her wedding had once been and that this way, you would feel less overwhelmed, knowing you perfectly well.
When it all begins.
They have already announced the king, also all your family, only the Hightower-Targaryen and also your betrothed are missing.
Your grandsire is seated at the large table next to his wife on the right side, while your mother is seated on his left side, followed by your place and then your betrothed's place. Your father takes a seat at the head of the table on the left side along with your brothers and sisters.
All the lord's and lady's present are spread throughout the Throne Room, as the food will soon be served and the musicians are already in position to begin at any moment.
Your mother at your side holds your hand to give you her support and her soft, sweet smiles in your direction to help with your nerves. Although she also makes sure that your entire appearance is intact.
It was always Rhaenyra's wish that her daughter, her first daughter, would have a wedding like hers was.
She would also prefer a Valyrian wedding, in fact that was her illusion when the king gave his blessing for the wedding between Y/N and Aemond.
But now, things are different and considering that Lord Stark is not Targaryen, clearly, a Westerosi wedding was the best option. And you did not complain at all.
In fact, it filled you with excitement and affection that when your father and grandfather saw you entering the Room, with your appearance for the occasion, they instantly told you that you wore them many years ago, when they were also in this same place and your mother married your father, Laenor.
A white dress with shoulder-length sleeves draws attention with golden details and some chains adorn around your waist with dragon figures.
Your hair falls in elegant waves, reaching above your waist, with some very subtle braids adorning the top of your head.
Your mother wanted some golden pins to be placed between your hair, also jewelry such as gold necklaces, rings and bracelets, to look more and properly like a Targaryen princess.
When at that moment, they announce the missing people at the big table. The people or rather the person you most expected and never wanted to arrive at the same time.
"Prince Aegon Targaryen, first born son of King Viserys Targaryen with his lady wife, Princess Helaena Targaryen."
The doors directly in front of you allow you to see the entrance of your uncle and sweet aunt who together make their way over to you to take a seat beside Queen Alicent.
Aegon's appearance is appropriate, however, due to all the rumors that keep spreading to Dragonstone, his condition is far from the best for a prince of the realm. His tired face with large bags under his eyes and his clear boredom and disinterest in being here is clear.
However, after all he seems to be willing to drink wine and enjoy himself.
But your sweet aunt by his side completely overshadows him once the view is on her and her beautiful sky blue dress with light silver tones and all her bright and sweet look that characterizes her so much.
When they announce the next people and you try not to make a big deal of it once Aegon and Helaena take their seats.
"Prince Aemond Targaryen, second son of King Viserys and Prince Daeron Targaryen, the third and final son of the king."
So both of them, he, now enter the Throne Room and you avoid looking too much, as well as feeling too much.
You try to distract yourself with the fact that you hadn't seen Daeron in a very long time, nor had anyone else, not even your mother or father. You thought he would still be in Oldtown because he wasn't even here for Helaena and Aegon's wedding.
Maybe he really wanted to fly here, but he was not allowed to, maybe because of his age, knowing that Queen Alicent does not like dragons and is very overprotective in that aspect.
But now that you are looking at him, he is tall, very tall. Not as tall as he is, but for his age, he's definitely growing into a man. But even though you want to focus on Daeron, you don't as you focus on him, inevitably.
His walk hasn't changed, neither has that determination, that confidence and that kind of power he possesses just by looking at him, also that fear and respect at the same time.
And his appearanceā€¦ hasn't changed either.
Maybe his continuous training has made him look a bit stockier of his arms and his body in general, but his hair, his face and his eye patch is the same.
But he gives you the impression that he's even more handsome.
You look away from him in an instant, as everything that happened comes back to you in a matter of seconds, which is inappropriate. But all you can think about is him.
His hugs, kisses, caressesā€¦ all those words of love, all those wishes and all those promisesā€¦ all only to end in an unexplained broken heart. You swore that he and you were destined to burn together. You swore that you would marry in the tradition of your house.
You swore it would be him and you.
But he made his decision.
And now here you are. He's betrothed and so are you, where by the end of the day you'll be married.
You completely avoid looking at his face once he starts to walk up the steps to take a seat next to his brothers, just like Daeron. You don't feel his gaze at any moment, just as you don't dare to look at him either.
When you ask yourself; where is his betrothed?
She must be here for such celebrations if they are betrothed. And you are sure that Floris Baratheon would not want to miss such an important celebration at the Red Keep.
However, he is all alone and his betrothed seems to be nowhere to be found. Doubt lingers but the feast gives you something new to think about when they announce your betrothed.
"Cregan Stark, lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, the future lord husband of the bride, Y/N Velaryon."
At that moment, everyone at the table rises to greet your betrothed who walks towards you with a kind and respectful smile, looking very well for all this celebration. Or at least most of the people at the table stand upā€¦.
You can notice out of the corner of your eye how on Queen Alicent's side some people are still seated, but you don't dare look at them, though you get an idea of who they might be.
Still you focus on your betrothed who bows to the king once he arrives at the table and then makes his way to you to take a seat next to you.
Not before taking your mother's hand to plant a gentle kiss on the back of it, which she accepts with a kind and sweet smile and then turns to you and does the same with more affection.
You smile in his direction as you return his gesture by placing a soft kiss on his cheek and then both of you take a seat, as well as everyone else. When your grandsire, the king, gives a short speech before the feast begins.
And once everything has been said, the feast begins. The music starts and the food is served.
You feel his gaze for a few seconds, not long enough, but you don't notice him at all and continue to enjoy the feast. You talk to your mother from time to time and also to your betrothed, that is if your father and Jace are not talking to him asking him about Winterfell and the Wall.
Your sisters also ask you from time to time if you are feeling well and you can only nod, telling yourself that this is really happening and you have to completely ignore his presence.
When the time comes for the opening of the dance.
Cregan rises from his seat first and offers you his hand to lead you to the center of the Room, which you gladly accept and together you walk to dance in full view of everyone, a traditional Westerosi dance.
It is a simple dance, nothing difficult and you really enjoy it, while you focus your gaze at all times on him, Lord Cregan, who also smiles softly in your direction and does perfectly the right steps, all under the watchful eye of all the nobles present and also of your family.
Both of you stand back to back, and then both of you slowly raise your arms to shoulder height, while you can't help it and turn your gaze towards him, already feeling since the dance started his burning gaze.
Aemond has a meaningful look on his face when your gaze meets his, acting nonchalant, watching you intently, raising his wine glass to his lips.
You can only smile really ungracefully and turn your gaze to the front, continuing to dance and focusing only on your betrothed.
While Aemond at all timesā€¦ wants this to be over and done with. Though I'd prefer to think this isn't really happening.
He feels like an alluring force, as he can't take his eye off of you, looking at you so beautiful in that dress, knowing in an instant that this is not the dress you would have worn for their wedding. But you still look really beautiful.
A true Targaryen beauty.
A warm feeling envelops him every second he sees you there, so perfect, dancing, smiling and catching everyone's attention, his especially at your every move, not realizing that his face gets softer every second as he watches you.
Howeverā€¦ everything is replaced by hatred and anger when those smiles are directed at Lord Stark. And by the way he looks at you tooā€¦ he wants to burn everything to the ground, clenching his hands into fists.
"Easy, little brother."
Aegon murmurs behind him, over his shoulder, amused, his breath smelling very strongly of wine.
"Everyone can sense how you're starting to wake up. You don't want to cause a fucking scene at our niece's wedding because of your jealousy, do you? Grandsire won't be too pleased."
Aemond can only feel that rage come over him more, knowing full well that Aegon has no intention of calming him down, but to provoke him further and do exactly as he has told him.
And he is succeeding.
Especially in the moment when he again focuses on you, smiling at Lord Stark, glowing and looking this beautiful but for him, Lord Stark, not for him, the one she was supposed to marry and be completely his.
And he regrets it so much, he regrets it so much that he called off their wedding and also leaving you without explanation, knowing that this is exactly what he deserves, to see you happy without him.
As the dance of just the two of them ends and a new song begins, in which he watches as Y/N, his Y/N, places one of her hands on Lord Stark's shoulder and the other intertwines with his, his other hand on her waist, this only making him angrier.
A more choreographed dance begins and the nobles in pairs also begin to join the center of the Room to dance, beginning the real celebration.
And Aemond sinking in his own misery, thinks that he could have survived watching Y/N dance with Lord Stark at an appropriate distance. But now they are both chest to chest, smiling and talking about something with all the nobles also dancing around them.
He doesn't understand that important thing that the two of them are talking about, but he doesn't like it at all, neither does the closeness. In fact he doesn't like any of it.
All he wants is to get her away from him, away from all of this and make her his, finally, no matter what.
His breathing starts to get heavier by the moment, thinking that by the time this is over, she will already be married to him and they will go away together, where they will have to consummate the marriage.
The very thought makes him only feel more enraged and more courageous to snatch her from his arms, not caring about her family and his, not caring about his grandsire and his words, not caring about his mother's words either about "you have to control yourself and think of us."
Not only does Aegon notice her state, so does his grandsire, who watches him intently and cautiously, noticing the look on Lord Stark's face more than menacing, about to do something foolish even though he was very clear with him before attending this feast.
He also catches the eye of Rhaenyra, who watches her husband and subtly points to her half-brother, instantly Daemon knowing exactly what is going on.
And how could he not know?
It reminds him of him many years ago, also watching the woman he loves, about to marry someone else who is not him.
He places a small half smile, bringing his wine glass to his lips, watching his nephew attentively and amused, almost expectantly, wondering even though Aemond has his full attention on you, if he will finally do something about it or what.
"Aemond," his grandsire mumbles to him.
But Aemond, beginning to go into his madness, doesn't watch or listen to him, watching you intently.
"Aemond, I'm warning you," his grandsire insists.
"Oh come on grandsire," Aegon tells him amused, "You know it will be useless. I can tell you don't know him."
And even though Aemond is immersed in his madness, he still thinks and remembers the words of his grandsire and mother.
"I will overlook that it was you who prevented the raven to Storms Ends from arriving when you knew perfectly well that your betrothed should have been here days ago."
His mother tells him seriously and annoyed.
"Now you will attend this wedding alone and I expect you to behave yourself. Just as I expect you to come to terms with the idea that you will marry Lady Baratheon by the end of next month, without protest."
"And you are not going to commit any of your foolishness at the Y/N wedding, do you understand me?" Otto immediately threatens him, "You're not going to talk to Y/N, you're not going to threaten Lord Stark either, and you're going to let the wedding happen in peace, is that clear? "
Aemond feels a bitter feeling, continuing to watch you attentively and him watching threateningly, with the fire in his body about to explode.
"You know what your problem is, grandsire?" Aegon says to Otto Hightower, who watches him seriously and on the verge of losing his patience, "You question the blood of the dragon too much."
And in that same instant, Aemond rises from his seat in a confident movement, with his gaze firmly fixed on you, who are completely disinterested in what is happening with him, completely focused on Lord Stark.
And Aemond's movement completely catches the attention of his grandsire, his mother, also your mother and father, who in an instant look at each other, definitely remembering the past.
Aemond makes his way towards you, not caring about anything.
He doesn't care about his mother and grandsire, he doesn't care about the war that will probably befall them when his father dies, the only thing he cares about at this moment is you.
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taglist:
@iloveallmyboys @libdarkheart @angelianlearp @happinessinthebeing @targaryenmoony @tempt-ress @callsign-blue @twobluejeans @luna-salem @literatureluster @thekinslayersswordhand @queenofshinigamis @bugshideaway @minttea07 @itszzmoon
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midnightsimpsstuff Ā· 3 months ago
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WILDLOWER
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WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish
Spencer Reid x reader
Warning: angst, hurt/comfort (promise), JJ's confession to Spencer, toxic friendship, mention of break ups, happy ending.
Summary: After JJ confesses to Spencer that she is in fact in love with him, he is stuck in a tight spot and doesnā€™t want the reader to find out because you never knew he liked JJ so he broke up with you with no explanation. Because you are friends with JJ you happened to go to her to cry about the breakup not knowing sheā€™s at fault.
A/n: I found out what Wildflower by Billie Eilish was truly about and I fell in love with the idea so I wrote something with the plot, so enjoy! LOL. There might be a part two so look out for that.
Word Count: 2.3k
Comments, shares and rebloggs are appreciated! :))
Had to add the inspiration ;)
You were walking back home, and your heart was more than broken, you didnā€™t think anything could be worse than this. Everything was fine before Spencer had gone on that stupid case! You knew he was kidnapped during it, you knew he wouldnā€™t want to tell you what happened but to break up? That was too far.
You took some time of work, you couldnā€™t go on, not in this state, your friend JJ, who had even introduced you to Spencer was the only friend of yours that didnā€™t have work at that moment, she was given a leave for reasons she hadnā€™t told you.
That was what brought you to her couch watching rom-coms, taking tubs of ice creams at once you just finished crying your eyes out on her shoulder, when you told her about how Spencer just dumped you for absolutely no reason, you felt as she tensed up. You were no profiler but you knew that she knew why but you wonā€™t push her to tell you, in case it was a touchy subject and she kicks you out of her house.
Meanwhile, JJ knew she had never felt more guilty in her life, not when she returned home and she had to hug her kids and sleep side by side with Will, not telling him about the case a she usually would, not when she imagined Spencer was at her side not Will, or her kids looked like Spencer or how much they loved Spencer, and she wished she had known Spencer loved her back then she knew everything would be different.
She didnā€™t think Spencer would break up with you, it was a life or death situation there was nothing she could do but tell him, she felt instantly better when the burden was off her shoulders, she didnā€™t one bit think about how it could affect him, how it could affect you.
She comforted you though, trying to take her mind away from how you would act when you find out what she said, what she did, how it was her fault, all her fault, how you didnā€™t deserve this. You were a perfect fit for Spencer. You let him talk without interruptions, you didnā€™t use him to make your work easier, you didnā€™t give him sneaky insults or once tell him to shut up, but she did and she didnā€™t deserve the kindness both of you showed her endlessly.
You had gone home around the time Will had come back from work, JJā€™s face was stuck on a look of despair, she made you feel better sure but when you told her ā€˜Thank you so much, Jenny. You know exactly how to make me feel better, youā€™re an awesome person and friend. Good Night!ā€™ she froze at the door as she closed it watching you drive away with your car.
It wasnā€™t fair on you, she felt like shit, Will had noticed her weird mood and tried to confront her about it but she lashed out at him and went straight to her room. Discarding the takeout that Will had gotten from her and their kidsā€™ favourite store she couldnā€™t help but subconsciously think about Spencer bringing you home takeout from your favourite food store if not for her and her big mouth.
She should have never loved him in the first place, especially since she got you both together.
Spencer and JJ had returned back to work the two weeks after, everyone in the BAU saw the change in dynamic between both of them, and they noticed Spencerā€™s mood had ultimately dampened and his migraines werenā€™t the only reason.
Spencer had suffered the two weeks without you, it was just taking a break from each other, and he secretly hoped you would find out what JJ had said so you would understand that it wasnā€™t his fault.
Your heart would be crushed and his and your friendship would be crushed, because you would have asked him if he loves JJ back and he honestly doesnā€™t know. He loves her as a friend for sure but as more? Heā€™s not sure.
He already knew he was going to go over to your place that evening and explain everything to you, he had a feeling you didnā€™t know if not you would have barged into here a long time ago. He knows you, you donā€™t know how to keep your anger in check you would have come to confront her right there right then.
He let out a soft sigh. It was lunch break now, he had already ordered the flowers you adored so much to your house. When you get back from work you would see them and when you change and get comfortable you would see him. Hopefully, you would take him back even though he knew that was unlikely he really hurt you.
As he was about to get to his seat, JJ stopped him and he couldnā€™t help the eye roll he did, he wasnā€™t on the best terms with her at the moment he was going to make up with her when he has completely made up with you.
ā€œSpencer, I am so sorry about your breakup, I didnā€™t mean for that to happen.ā€ JJ had started with not noticing how loud she had said it now everyone was listening to them but they didnā€™t make it obvious.
His eyebrows furrowed, not only because of her pitch but also how did she know? ā€œHow do you know, I never told anyone that-ā€œ then it clicked. He never knew she had it in her to be this much of a bitch. But he didnā€™t want to jump into conclusions.
ā€œShe told you didnā€™t she? But did YOU tell her?ā€ He didnā€™t care if anyone heard at this point he was pissed. Really? Confess your love to your friendā€™s boyfriend and comfort her about him.
ā€œI am sorry about everything about everything but you know I couldnā€™t do that to her.ā€ JJ looked down to the floor in shame, her eyes were watering but she knew she didnā€™t have the right to be crying at that moment. He couldnā€™t believe he thought he loved her.
He walked away from her, he looked angrier that before but that subsided when he realised he could go home. He had never done anything as fast in his life, he packed his bag, practically ran out then began driving straight to your house.
You had just arrived at home seeing a huge bouquet of your favourite flowers at your front your door you knew who it was from. You unconsciously smiled before your face dropped remembering the break up, you sighed before carrying it inside your house. Dropping it on your coffee table, you realised it had a note but you werenā€™t in the right frame of mind to read it yet.
You went to quickly shower, change into something by far more comfortable. Before plopping on your couch, deciding to read the note.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  Dear Y/N it was inconsiderate of me to break up with you without explaining first, I am coming over after work to explain everything to you. If you donā€™t want me to come over just text me. Love you, Spencer.
It wasnā€™t his handwriting, he must have sent it over, and you couldnā€™t help but roll your eyes. Funny of him to think you still had his number.
As you began watching something on your TV, you heard your doorbell ring, you went to open it.
ā€œStart talking bitch.ā€
You sat on the chair opposite Spencer, he had just finished explaining everything to you and your mouth was currently agape. You began backtracking you finally understood. Thatā€™s why her body kept going rigid.
She loved Spencer. She had a husband yet she loved Spencer. She had kids yet she loved Spencer. Spencer had a girlfriend yet she loved Spencer. Spencerā€™s girlfriend was someone she considered a best friend yet she loved Spencer. She was extremely beautiful, knew Spencer way longer than you and Spencer once liked her like seven years ago and now she was in love with him. Spencer is the godfather of her child and she loves him?!
You were no more shocked, the reality of the situation was dawning on you, softly laughing to yourself about everything. ā€œYou donā€™t love her back, right?ā€ you didnā€™t know what you would do if he said he does but the moment the question came out of your mouth. Spencer shouted no so loud you flinched.
His face was now pink from embarrassment, ā€œNo, I donā€™t, not anymore, not again itā€™s just you I love and want to love.ā€ He said meeting your eyes with a smile.
His eyes began doing that drawing in puppy dog eye thing it usually did when he wanted to get something he wanted, you knew he wasnā€™t doing it on purpose, but it sure felt like he did because how could you not take him back when he is doing his face that way.
You walked over to him, your face was neutral, and he didnā€™t know what you were going to do. When you stood beside him you held his face, caressing his skin as he looked up at you his eyes still doing the thing. You slapped him really hard, ā€œThatā€™s for hurting my heart for the past two weeks.ā€ Then you crouched down to him giving him a passionate kiss. ā€œThatā€™s because you went out of your way to explain and apologize and because I love you.
His face still hurt but he was sincerely happier now he had you back. You went away to get your phone to send a quick message to JJ.
ā€˜We need to talk, come over tomorrow.ā€ you sent her. You gave your phone to Spencer so he could see the message. His face visibly tensed, ā€œAre you ending your friendship with her?ā€ he asked. Heā€™d feel pretty bad, you two have always been so close.
ā€œNo, we just need to talk some things through. Donā€™t worry my loveā€ you said as you took a seat in his lap and as he drew circles on your thigh.
ā€œShould I end my friendship with her?ā€ Spencer asked shyly, he felt like you would say no but he did really value JJ as a friend so it might hurt a bit.
ā€œDo you want to?ā€ you asked him, you were just playing with him finding it funny as his face began changing from thoughtful to fear. He felt like it was a trick.
He feebly nodded, you smiled ā€œThen no, Spencer. That wonā€™t be fair on you. You two have been friends longer than I knew youā€ you told him while looking at him with love.
Everything was better and looking up for you.
But with JJ she felt her heart leap out of her chest as she read your message, she just read it again and again and again. The face of Spencerā€™s fury and your sad face was in her head she didnā€™t know what to do she didnā€™t want to lose any of you but she knew what was coming.
She just came between a good relationship because of her stupid feelings. She would have cried even more if she wasnā€™t tired of crying.
After getting the message from you she got enough courage to tell Will about everything. He reacted better than she thought he would have, although he was mad. When she had assured him she doesnā€™t love him anymore and only loved Will. He wasnā€™t so mad anymore but he asked for a bit of space because the way she had been neglecting him throughout the weeks she was at home and he said itā€™s best she knows what it felt like a bit.
JJ without fail had come to your home the next day, immediately after work. Texting Will about where she would be. She didnā€™t get a response though he left her on read, but she understood she had hurt many people and it was beginning to come on her.
You opened the door smiling at her. JJ wanted to cry, why were you smiling, did you not know, did you know and werenā€™t angry, she doesnā€™t know whether you and Spencer got back together. But she knew she couldnā€™t take it any longer.
ā€œY/N, I have something to tell youā€¦ā€ she stated while motioning her head inside as if asking if she could come in. You moved away so she could seat in on your couch.
You already knew and you felt touched she wanted to come clean. You looked at her expectantly waiting for her to speak.
ā€œI confessed my love to Spencer on our last case, I think thatā€™s why you two broke up.ā€ She was fiddling with her ring.
ā€œI already apologized to him, and to Will and I felt itā€™s time to apologize to you, I donā€™t want to lose any of you. I am so sorry I got you two together, I am sorry I pulled you both apart, I am sorry you trusted me enough to cry to me about what happened. I donā€™t deserve you.ā€
When she finally looked up at you, she realised you didnā€™t look angry. ā€œSpencer told me.ā€ You said. She felt something in her stomach drop. ā€œYou knew the whole time?ā€ she asked, now she felt this was a plan for you to become the next unsub.
But instead your eyes widened, ā€œNo, he told me yesterday. Relax.ā€ You said rubbing her back.
ā€œI forgive you donā€™t worry. I want my friend back. You two hugged and she held unto you tighter than she had ever done before. Spencer watched you two from the kitchen.
This is how itā€™s meant to be.
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thequietkid-moonie Ā· 4 months ago
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The diference between love and obsession
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[ YANDERE COMPARISON ] [ Aventurine ]
[ Honkai Star Rail ]
āš ļø This contain a little bit of spoilers
āš ļø Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just for entretaiment
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The obsession inmense love I have for this man is half to be propotional to the amount of things i have wrote for him, I mean this is the first one šŸ’€
I'm not sorry for what I have just wrote, this is the way I want it see Aventurine and no one will change my mind, take it or leave me enjoy my Aventurine
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Aventurine's love is sincere, caring and almost shy, even when Aventurine doesn't even try to hide and is loud about his atraction for someone his love is the complete opposite, he is a gambler, he knows how to hide what he truly feels so the others in the table won't notice his weakeness when playing, but love is diferent
Aventurine's love make him weak and vulnerable, make him truly wish get something, and that something is your safety and happiness, Aventurine's love is loving and caring and thats all he has for you, when he is in love what he wants to most is your happiness
Aventurine's love makes him a mess, it take him a while to fully comprehend his feelings, he is able to reconize the attractions and is evident with it, but when he relice that he is truly in love he becomes a flustered mess, its being so long since last time he had someone who was close enough to his heart to love them and he doesn't know what to do or react
Aventurine's love make him feel freedom but also make him like a teenager in love, he is flirty, teasing and even touchy with you, putting his usual facade to cover up the complete mess he is in the inside, carefully selecting his words to don't mess things up and hiding at his best the inmense blush that threaten to come out everytime he is the one who makes you smile and laugh
Aventurine's love is what lead him to wish more, what lead him to slowly start finding more reasons why living is good and what lead him to slowly find a meaning to life, if he can find someone to truly love again maybe life is not as bad as he thought before
Aventurine's love lead him to care for you, directly or indirectly he is always watching over your well-being, wanting for you to never lack on anything and be only happy, wanting to be able to protect you and take care of you (if you let him and are comfortable with it), but also wanting to be protected and cared by you. Aventurine's love is what make him aware of how truly hurt and lonely he feels and is what makes him crave for your comfort, what lead him to wish for you to care for him, however those are unspoke desires, he will not dare to talk about it unless he is completely sure you reciprocate his feelings
Aventurine's love is what make him fear for your life, his luck has never being exactly kind to him, giving him all he has now but taking away what he truly cares for, so he obviously fears for you, Aventurine will find a way to protect you with his luck and from it too, but if at the end if you decided that he is not the one you love he will accept it and cheer for you, he will be hurt but he will not dare to take your freedom away from you
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Aventurine's obssesive love is troublesome for both parts, is like a torture for him to be away from you, the raising anxious thoughts of something bad happening to you hunt him down, leading him to seak your precence in a desperate way
Aventurine is lonely, he has friends and people around but his is truly lonely, last time he had a person that mean for him was when he was a child, or that was until he met you. Aventurine's obsessive love grow slowly, at first you were only another acquaintance, but as time pass and he got to know you better he slowly grow to love you, to need you, to want you
Aventurine's obssesive love make him desperate and needy, he is working by one of the most powerful corporations in all universe, having all the riches he could ever want and yet nothing of that could compare to you, the one and only thing that actually gives a meaning to his life by now
Aventurine is painfully aware of his obssesive love, he knows his feelings are something unhealthy, he noticed them as they started to grow and is being painfully aware of them but those feelings slowly grow and consume him, it makes him feel bad diferent ways and yet, he wants to do things right and win your heart over in a good way, he wants you to truly love him
Aventurine tries to win you with everything he has, trying his best to hide his desesperation, putting a facade of simply attraction at first, slowly making his way towards your heart with his flirty attitude, with beautiful and genuine compliments and even gifts, but if at the end he is not enough to be able to win your heart the right way it will be Aventurine's obsesive love what lead him to forcefuly make stay with him, desperately keeping you close
He is so desperate for your love that it will reach one point where he doesn't care anymore, Aventurine's obsesive love will lead him to be reckless, he is willing to give you all he has and all he is as long as you stay with him, he is willing to stop gambling and even spend all his money on you, he will give you all you ask him as long as you stay at his side
Aventurine's obsesive love is what lead him to idealize you, he had met you as a simple acquaintance, you were just someone he cross paths at first, but at this point you are his all, his only and real reason to stay alive, you are what give a meaning to his life and he need to keep you at his side at all cost, willing or forcefully it doesn't matter as long as you stay at his side, where he can make sure nothing harms you, where he can love you and keep you safe
Aventurine's obsesive love makes him so desperate and needy to the point that he can even accept that you don't truly love him, if you accept to show the affection and care that he craves so much by faking it he will take it and pretend that is fine just to easy the pain of his heart
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whispereons Ā· 1 year ago
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Oracle!Reader Part 17
Masterlist - Part 1, Part 16, Part 18
PSA: I'm going to go through my followers and report + block porn bots. Porn bots look like users who have nothing posted. So if you don't want to be blocked please put at least one post saying that you are human.
Warning! This has your good old violence! This is a SAGAU imposter au so this to be expected.
The ice in your calves throbbed as spikes of pain fried the nerves every time you shifted into a better position. That's not even counting how the arrow in your chest jostled and wedged deeper into your skin.
"Let's start with some easy questions, yeah? Like your name, date of birth, and occupation."
You wished Yelan would just ask the important questions only. It would make your life so much easier. Who knows what information you could give her here that unknowingly connects to what they know about the 'Creator'.
Yelan's expression turns neutral before she steps closer. Your body tenses in preparation before she grabs your hair to pull your head up. Hissing in pain, you glare at her with animosity.
"Don't overestimate your body, Y/N." She drawl's as if speaking to a child. "I could just remove this pretty little mask and bring you back to Liyue for those with... more experience to handle."
Was it a natural thing for Hydro users to threaten you with torture? The thought makes you wanna laugh but you gasp in pain instead as she releases your hair harshly.
You didn't have time to be a smartass. Your mask being removed was the worst thing that could happen. The only question was, should you admit to being an Oracle or not?
"My name, as you already know, is Y/N. I don't have a last name, or maybe I do and I don't remember it. Same situation with my birthday, I just celebrate it whenever I feel like it."
Genshin always sends you a gift in the mail when it's your birthday. It's a good guess that everyone knows your birthday, having the same birthday would be suspicious. What if it's like your face in which no one else can share the same birthday with you? Far-fetched but better safe than sorry.
"I'm an adventurer who signed up a few days ago. I have my handbook and commission list to prove it if you want to check."
There was a chance she knew about your Oracle job from when you had to stay at the Teahouse, but you won't offer that bit of information unless she specifically asks for it. Far too many of your own victims on Earth screwed themselves over when they revealed things only to learn you were shooting in the dark.
"Quite the convenient story. No last name or set date of birth means you must be from one of the villages. Name it."
Yelan gets comfortable resting against a tree as Shenhe stands close to you with a cold glare. The questions were still easy but you didn't want to be stuck here any longer. You needed an escape.
"I was born in Inazuma, one of the less-tamed islands called Kannzaku. But after the recent war, all the people that were still living either died or left. I chose to leave as well."
Yelan hums at that, you aren't sure if she truly believes it or if she's just making a mental note to look into it later.
"Then how did you manage to catch the Alcor of all ships to bring you here? They aren't one to take passengers along easily."
Has she been watching that early on or did she trace your path that far back? If so, she may even gain information about your time in Inazuma. Best to keep everything aligned with the most public knowledge.
"The Yashiro Commission helped me find a ship. I don't see how my upbringing in Inazuma has to do with whatever reason you have for attacking me."
Flexing your feet, you try to adapt to the pain. Yelan nor Shenhe were going to let you go even if you did answer everything correctly. That was a fact just based on how much trouble you gave them.
Yelan keeps a watchful eye on you as she stays silent. You know this tactic, you've used it before. Staying silent to make your hostage squirm and anger till they burst. That, or slowly die in place from any wounds.
This wasn't a problem for you. Every second you stood there in silence was just more and more time for you to get used to the pain. The arrow was too deep to remove, you would bleed out and become weaker so it'll have to stay stuck inside your skin.
Yelan and you could have gone all day, but Shenhe wasn't nearly as patient or stubborn.
"Ask your question and finish your job already, Yelan. If you take any longer then I'll just exterminate them." Shenhe moves to stand directly in front of you with her weapon raised.
She points it directly at Yelan. "And if you try to stop me, I'll kill you too."
Seems they aren't as in sync as you originally thought.Ā 
Yelan sighs and moves from her spot. It seems even she knows better than to trifle with the bomb in the shape of a crane. The grass crunches beneath Yelan's heels as the trinkets on her jingle.Ā 
Lifelines wrap around your wrists and waist and she pulls you forward. Nails dig into your skin through her gloves making you bite your tongue in slight pain. The pretty azure color is coated with crimson as emerald eyes stare into your soul.
"What's giving you the confidence to claim to be the Creator's oracle? If you don't repent and shed this flimsy mask, the Qixing will have you sacrificed in the city's center."
Your heart stops at those words as flashes of the sacrifices you witnessed in Inazuma come to mind. Taking off your mask would get you killed, but not taking it off would also get you killed. Torn between laughing and crying, you hated the fact that once again you were stuck in a ā€˜damned if you do, damned if you donā€™tā€™ situation.
Frowning at the strange expression on your face and the lack of confession, Yelan sighs with frustration and even a bit of hatred. ā€œNot willing to speak even now, huh? Then my job is nearly done. Ningguang can deal with you instead, Iā€™ll just reap my share of the rewards after you die.ā€
Patting your now bloody cheek condescendingly, she turns away from you. Her lips can be seen moving from her side profile but you could care less about what she's saying.
All you can focus on is the feeling of being talked down to. Being treated like a child, being treated like an idiot. The inner lining of your cheek begins to ache from how hard you're biting on it.Ā 
Specific personas you've created and used in your work would include ditzy and dumb acts. The patronizing tone they would speak to you with was annoying but tolerable. But this? This?!
Lips curled into a snarl, you look up at the woman with a boiling glare matching your equally hot temper. Yelan's features seem to continuously morph and switch with a man who would speak to you in that exact same demeaning way.
"Where the hell do you get off speaking to me like this?"Ā 
Yelan shuts her mouth but doesn't move her snobbish eyes off your form. Shenhe holds her polearm tighter as she keeps her eyes on you. Well aware of just how stupid, rash, and careless your next actions are, your brain tries to calm down.
But the moment you lift your bloody chin to look up, all you can see is condescending eyes taunting you.
"What the fuck is giving YOU the confidence to indirectly call yourself extraordinary by calling your deceased teammates 'ordinary folk'?! You only got to your position from the charity and sacrifices of other people!"
Breathing heavily from the anger and strain from yelling, you wipe the blood on your chin away. You were giving it your all to survive and weasel your way out of this situation. That's what you have done all throughout your time in Teyvat.
It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, it shouldn't be possible that all your efforts would be for naught from just one person. Everything you've worked at all this time, gone, just because Yelan and Ningguang couldn't mind their own fucking business.
"You can inflate your ego all you want with clever schemes and working solo but that doesn't take away from the fact that you would be dead without everyone around you. Your ancestry of heroes, Ningguang's patience and willingness to wait for you to train and move on from your friend. Even the lessons you learned on how you aren't invincible didn't seem to click until you lost your whole team!"
Grinning widely with malice and blood staining your teeth and lips crimson, you finished your jab. "You know? The same team you basically disowned and dissociated yourself from after they died. After all, youā€™d rather isolate yourself instead of properly acknowledging your team's talent and appreciate the life they lived no matter how short!"
Your mouth felt dry and all you could taste was copper. The shards in your calves were slowly melting making your legs. A vast contrast to the burning anger you harbored. But it seems you aren't the only one feeling this way.
Yelan hasn't moved from her spot but the look she has on her face is clear as day. Her neutral and taunting smile has dissolved into a murderous expression. Viridian eyes sharpen almost like an arrow and gritted teeth grind together. Your blood stains her blue gloves much like how you successfully stained her invincible reputation.
As good as it felt to get back at her, the slightest bit of guilt plagued you. That blow concerning her teammates was low, even if it was true. It's a bitter truth that she probably still struggles with. Living knowing that someone had to be sacrificed for your life pushed you to the brink more than once. Even still, you can't find it in yourself to take back those words, to apologize.
After all, you could never disregard the help and place your dad had in your life even with his early death.
The Hydro vision on Yelan's side glows as she takes long strides to your trapped form. No longer summoning her bow with flair, she points it at you. Bracing yourself with bent knees, you flex your fingers preparing to summon your sickle and escape the disadvantageous position.
"GRAH!"
A huge leaping rocky creature almost flattens Yelan who swiftly dodges by jumping backward.
"GRAW!" What you can now identify as a Geovishap roars loudly and slams his hulking fist onto the ground. The impact sends Yelan flying through the air and the ice trapping your feet shatters.
Not even allowed a second to enjoy your newfound freedom, Shenhe lunges either polearm poised at the ready. Grinning, your sickle clashes with her weapon as you shift to a more comfortable position.
Fighting both women would be impossible for you, they've trained for years. But it was still within your limits to defend and escape from one. Thanks to the Geovishap, you now have been granted that possibility.
The lingering shards of ice in your calves keep the blood somewhat clogged but the blood dribbling out down your ankle is uncomfortable. Ignoring it to the best of your abilities, you dig your shoes into the ground as your sickle repeatedly blocks her attacks.
The spear's minor side curve gets hooked onto your sickle leading to a stand-off. Planting your feet deeper into the ground, you focus on pushing against Shenhe as she does the same. Your arm strains with the force needed as Shenhe's full power begins to overpower you.
Not that you weren't expecting that.
Shenhe fought a god as a child and would have won if Cloud Retainer hadn't cut it short. She grew up in these mountains fighting, training, and eating whatever she was given. Cloud Retainer didn't raise a child, she groomed a soldier.
Your wounds ache as your body is pushed back. Inhuman strength wasn't something you ever encountered on Earth. This wasn't the city where you could pull a dirty trick and get away. Wasn't there anything else you could do?
Perhaps it was the determination you felt to stand your ground. Or maybe it was the desperation you felt to escape and live. You couldn't be completely sure as power mingled with your flesh, giving you a burst of energy.
The air grows cold and the ground shakes beneath your feet. The Electro wrapping around your sickle crackles louder, nearly masking the creaking of the ground. Geo petrifies the ground as it travels from your feet to hers.
A dark umber-colored stone traps her feet with cracks of topaz. Shenhe frowns and tries to rip her feet out but is stunned when it doesn't work. The petrify only moves to consume her body faster.
Knowing that you must be the only reason for the Geo, you take advantage of the newfound power. Breaking the grapple, you move out of her polearms range. Her braids loosen as she tries to lunge at you even with her torso completely petrified.
In some last-ditch effort to kill you, Shenhe holds her polearm in one hand and prepares to throw it at you. Not a moment sooner, the petrify entraps that hand locking it in place.
"Don't run away, demon!" Shenhe shouts in fury as her braid loosens. Her face is permanently etched as a harsh scowl and furrowed brows when the Geo overcomes her completely.
Not wanting to waste the precious and limited time you have, you turn on your heels and run away. In a split decision, you run to the left, the same direction where you first met Shenhe at that hilichurl camp.
Greenery and foliage are trampled on as you push past the burning pain. You pass the threshold of the stone and a large thud catches your attention from behind you.
Curious, you look back to see the Geovishap be pierced by Hydro projectiles. The blood and water splatter and mix on the ground as the Geovishap collapses. A weak gurgle of a roar is all that could be heard.
Glazed eyes holding no consciousness, no life, stare at your wide, sympathetic ones before crumbling into dust. A different pair of wrathful green eyes stare back at you instead.
There's no time to teleport. You couldn't fight in this state. Running was your sole option and your body moved on its own.
The river water dampens your shoes as you run, and the moonlight filters through the leaves of the trees above you. Slimes peer at you curiously as you avoid running into them.Ā 
The only thing you could properly focus on was not tripping and not getting hit by the arrows raining down on you.
Between your honed instincts and Teyvatā€™s warnings, you manage to dodge the vast majority. Yelan wasn't in the position she is today without mastering her archery.
Pain and most likely a bruise bloom when her Hydro-infused arrow hits your shoulder. It's not deep so you quickly pull it out before it gets lodged like the one in your chest.
The chase is intense as your ragged breaths nearly mask the sound of her heels following you. More arrows cut your clothes and graze your skin.Ā 
The sight of the red staining the cloth makes bitterness spread and fester deep within you.
Just why couldn't you bleed gold?
Now in Nantianmen, you pass by the hilichurl camp where you met Shenhe in. You must be getting closer to the ruins, maybe you could lose Yelan in the twists and turns of the rundown ruins.
But that plan quickly is thrown out the window when the only exit is a large drop-off, small broken ruins with broken ruin pieces serving as platforms on the large river. Treasure hoarders roam that area from what you remember.
To your right is a large mountain, climbable but no doubt time-consuming. On the left is where the ledge is. The only thing in front of you is a path leading to a boss, that you canā€™t be certain would recognize you or not. And above it would just be another cliff only serving to prolong the chase.Ā 
Faced with the choice, the shallow water washes the crusting blood off your legs. Climb the mountain and be shot down by Yelan, or glide off the edge into Tianqiu Valley and be shot down by Yelan or the treasure hoarders.
Arenā€™t you spoiled for choice?Ā 
That sarcastic thought is quickly swept away as you narrowly avoid an arrow that hits the water. Only sparing a glance behind you, you move to the side avoiding the follow-up arrow. The click of Yelanā€™s heels is replaced with the sloshing of water as she runs after you.
She dodges the Cryo that a large Cryo slime shoots at her as you back away with urgency. Before you can make a panicked split decision, a new Geovishap tackles her right into the Cryo slime.
The combo of being frozen and shattered seems to knock the wind out of Yelan as she falls onto the ground and slowly rises to her feet. The Cryo slimes, now with the addition of another that popped up out of nowhere and this new Geovishap, form a circle around Yelan.
The circle is tight and her soaked form only hinders her further. The wounds and bruises she sustained from the previous Geovishap are still visible.Ā 
You recognize this as an opportunity to escape.
The sound of Yelanā€™s grunts and groans of pain as sheā€™s thrown around out of sight are washed away as you pull the game screen up. It loads slowly but you arenā€™t too worried, Yelan is spent after chasing you and fighting so much today.Ā 
Once the map is loaded, you quickly swipe to the statue of the seven. Selecting it you press the teleport button and wait. You wait with bated breath and expectant eyes to finally be free of this whole battle. Yet, as the screen stays the same and a whole minute passes by with no response, your heart pounds with fear.
Trying to deny the worst possibility you press the teleport button again. You press it again and again and again with no results. The sounds of the Cryo slimes being splattered onto the ground make you suck in a harsh breath.
In one last desperate attempt, you close the game screen and open it again. Repeating the same actions before with no difference in the result.
Itā€™s refusing to work.
That revelation fills you with a mix of dread and a manic mess of anger combined with sadness. A disbelieving laugh escapes your mouth in a low tone before you sprint towards the closest escape option. Thereā€™s no more time to waste, the petrify is going or already has worn off and Yelan wonā€™t be occupied with that Geovishap forever.
Your scratched-up and coarse fingers haphazardly grasp the grooves of the mountain to climb as fast as possible. Itā€™s painful to put your body weight onto your legs but it must be done. That pain is almost completely blinded by the agonizing burn of when the arrow in your chest is pushed further in whenever you accidentally scrape the wall.
The air becomes thinner as you climb to the halfway point, your digits grasp onto the next protruding rock and itā€™s too late when you realize that itā€™s too loose. The rock slips out, hitting your face and temporarily blinding you as your other grip becomes weaker.
Dangerously swaying backward, you stop breathing and scramble to hold on to something. When your cut-up fingers finally grasp something more stable, your face hits the rock and it makes the blood from the wounds Yelanā€™s nails left leave a splotch.
Pain and sharp aches rack your body but you grit your teeth and continue climbing. The mountain seems to almost vibrate and you look down to see Yelan be smashed onto the wall. A thrilling chill of happiness runs down your spine at the sight of Yelan getting pummelled. You can only hope it scars her the way her injuries most likely will scar you.
The struggle is finally over as your fingers dig into the grass at the top and haul yourself over the ledge. Crawling with the last bit of your strength, you lay on your back and breathe in as much of the thin air as you can. Sharp and burning pain electrifies your nerves as you stare up at the night sky.
Just how shitty was your luck to end up like this?
Gingerly touching your head as the world briefly spins, you open the game screen. Maybe, just maybe it will work now that you are away from the battle. Perhaps it didnā€™t let you teleport in some stupid rule of ā€˜no teleporting when enemies are nearbyā€™ or ā€˜you canā€™t teleport in battleā€™. You are well aware that Genshin never had that rule but you wanted to hold onto some hope.
Of course, it doesnā€™t work. Hope at the end of the day is just that. But being away from a life-or-death situation at least brings back some clarity of mind. You select a different teleport waypoint and try to teleport. It doesnā€™t work, and after trying nearly all of the waypoints you close the screen and groan in frustration.
You close your eyes and just try to breathe, to relax your heart that just wonā€™t stop beating frantically. It becomes suspicious when your blood runs cold and your stomach churns in a familiar feeling of danger. With anxiety-fueled fear, you roll your aching body a few feet away as the wind caresses your skin trying to help you.
Dirt and grime cling onto your clothes and make your open wounds itch as it enters your body. But your attention is pulled away by a polearm piercing the spot you were lying at just a moment ago. Frantic yet oh so tired, you pull yourself onto your sore feet and stare warily as the cloud of dirt dispenses.
As much as you dared to dream that maybe it was Xiao, the long white hair and crane-patterned sleeves arenā€™t surprising. Disappointing nonetheless though.
Shenhe grips her weapon tightly as she stays in place, the rock she struck in pieces beneath her. You can already imagine what kind of damage she would have done if you didnā€™t move away in time. She doesnā€™t lift her head as she mumbles something.
Not willing to move closer but also too cautious to move away in fear of triggering her, you stand in place. Her head lifts up to let iridescent eyes glare at your beat-up and bleeding body. ā€œI hate you.ā€ She mutters as strands of hair droop to frame her face.
ā€œI hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate-ā€ She mutters endlessly from her position as you begin to take slow steps backward. The red rope tying her hair is already gone and the ones on her clothing are close to slipping. Most of them are ripped and gone anyway.
Shenhe harshly rips the last of the red rope off and gracefully twirls her polearm into the correct position with a look cold enough to freeze your blood. Actually, thatā€™s just the frost creeping from her feetā€¦
ā€œI hate you!ā€Ā  Shenheā€™s yell is swift and her weapon is merciless as her attack pattern changes from the elegant crane style to one more comparable to a raging bull. You hurriedly summon your sickle in the nick of time.
Your hands are shaky from the exhaustion weighing down on your body. Combining that with Shenheā€™s erratic wrath attacks makes your movements clumsy.
Each narrowly raised block and shaking deflection eat away at the little energy you have left.Ā 
It's not enough.Ā 
That fact becomes more and more obvious as your grip on the sickle gets weaker. What other fate awaited you when being hunted down by Shenhe who has fought and trained nearly all her life?
The past battles you've been through are viewed in a new light. Your first fight with those treasure hoarders led you to rely more on your wit than skill. The first Fatui encounter with Heizou had you more as a support than an attacker. Beisht wasnā€™t even attacking you and you struggled against the elements more than anything else on Beidouā€™s ship. After taking the commission to save Yiran from the kidnappers, you teamed up with Xingqiu and Chongyun for every battle after that.
Even afterward when you were forcibly separated and Cloud Retainer strangled you, it was the other Adepti that pulled her off. The only battles after that were your hit-and-runs with Yelan and Shenhe. Have you ever actually fought and won on your own since that first scuffle with the treasure hoarders? They even ran away after you threatened them without touching them!
The realization of your less-than-stellar fighting capacity makes your movements sloppier, your body feels heavy with the weight of your journey. All the injuries you sustained, even the ones already healed, seem to chip away at your resolve.
You were tired. Youā€™ve been tired for a long time. It would be accurate to say that you were tired of being tired.
Shenheā€™s emotions bleed through her fighting style, the wrath sheā€™s consumed by makes her attacks rough but misaligned. Slices that should have cut deep into your shoulder or slashes across your unguarded areas miss their mark. Each one only makes her more aggravated leading to even sloppier motions.
A terrible cycle that was helping you out enough that you use your new Geo power to petrify her feet. But Shenhe has already experienced this, her spear is waved erratically around her keeping you away.Ā 
This rare chance of escape isnā€™t lost on you, turning on your heels you book it and narrowly avoid the polearm thrown your way. The graze makes the already scraped side bleed heavier, and the burning feeling of pain doesnā€™t subside.
Running across the greenery and leaving a trail of dotted red on the dark grass, you donā€™t bother trying to recall where you might be. There was never much of a reason to climb all the way up here as a player and you had no time to stop to observe the map.
The rocks, trees, and flowers blur in a shadowy hazy mess. You canā€™t be sure whether it's from all the blood you lost, the pain that plagues your body or the starless night sky. A single rock jutted out of the rock trips you and the pain blinds you as you lay on the ground.
Stumbling back onto your feet, you hold a nearby branch with a death grip as your body sways and your vision spins. This intense lightheadedness could only be from blood loss, one would think that itā€™s a shame how easily you can tell blood loss apart from any other injury it might be.Ā 
The sound of water splashing catches your attention and you do your best to follow it quickly without any more falls. The toll of the adrenaline that was coursing through your veins is starting to settle and you know full well how nasty it can be. A small lake appears in your vision and you collapse onto your knees once close enough.
A group of Cryo slimes begin to make their way towards you from the middle of the lake, or maybe it was Hydro slimes? The wind is both sweet relief on your clammy skin and a rude reminder of your aching wounds. Crawling to the side where you can only hope that Shenhe wonā€™t find you as easily, you let your bag fall off your shoulders.
The bag has holes but as itā€™s not a normal bag, nothing has fallen out. To your immense relief, of course, the medkit you pull out is your only hope of surviving just a little longer. The slimes gather around you curiously, even this close the only thing you can be sure of is their blue coloring.
Ignoring them, you apply the disinfectant, ointment, bandages, and anything else that might help you with your numerous injuries. Most of them were bandaged fine with you skipping the minor wounds to not waste your precious resources, but it was the major two damages that you couldnā€™t touch.Ā 
The remainder of the ice spikes in your calves were slowly melting which, unfortunately, was only leading to more bleeding. The arrow in your chest already made breathing hurt like hell. There was no way you were gonna risk yanking either of the two out. With the bleeding slowed down, your body feels a bit better but the fatigue anchors you to your spot.Ā Ā 
Surrounded by the slimes and gently showered by the moonlight your head rests against the closest solid structure. Thoughts of what kind of disease, danger, and death you might experience are washed away. The rippling reflection of the moon on the lake lulls your mind into a haze. Eyelids fluttering shut, you can no longer resist the urge to just rest...
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Oh boy, finally done and over with. It actually had more but I decided to cut it here and post the rest with the other parts next chapter. It may be shorter than this one. Or not, who knows. Thanks to my patient editor @serpent-benediction who edited this today. I hope everyone enjoyed the differences yet similarities between Y/N and Yelan. I did write this on Google Docs rather than on Tumblr so maybe the format is weird. Tell me if this one is too dense looking or any other opinion on it. Edit* Guess which dumbass forgot to add the read more option? Taglist - Remember those that are in italics are those who I couldn't tag! I appreciate all the comments and reblogs! Ya'll can be so funny and sweet at the same time. @vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @liansh3ng, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @shellofthewell, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention, @taiformaifoe, @goaudduck, @carminerin, @maddysflowers, @zenith-of-all-zenith, @crazydreamcat, @leafanonsforest, @grimreapersscythe, @leylanx, @sapphireknown, @help-whatdoimakemyusername, @zhonglisfruityass, @mer0n37, @victoria1676, @mochinessss, @sinnful-darling, @emilymikado, @pix-stuff, @esthelily, @luxie963, @emmbny, @millienolife @kbar1013, @xxblackroses623xx, @chxrlxtteee, @aludicpoet, @yandematic, @atrcclovsxoxo, @0lshadyl0, @esthelily, @t-rex-red, @ck123, @steadybreadbluebird, @118gremlin, @stratonia, @time-shardz, @farelady-fate, @valeriele3, @francisnyx, @byakuren100
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nine-one-wanton Ā· 10 days ago
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Entropy
ā€œA transfer?ā€ Bobby said, incredulously.
ā€œYeah..ā€ Tommy confirmed, feigning nonchalance. ā€œI, uh. I used to fly a little.. back in the army, and.. I kind of miss it, I guess.ā€
ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½Really?ā€ Bobby asked skeptically, searching Tommy through narrowed eyes as if he was keeping his real reasons in a secret pocket somewhere.
Tommy nodded. Not making eye contact.
ā€œListen, Tommy. I know me coming here was a big change. And Deluca leaving.. really shook the team up.ā€
ā€œItā€™s nothing you did, Captain Nash. I actually agreed with your decision with Sal. I.. Iā€™ve agreed with every decision youā€™ve made for this house.ā€
ā€œSo you support my leadership, have built a healthy connection with your team, and are.. frankly, thriving here, and.. You still feel the need to uproot yourself?ā€
Tommyā€™s jaw tightened. But he nodded. ā€œI guess I always knew I wasnā€™t going to stay here forever.. And, I feel like youā€™re gonna find better people to fill out this crew. I mean, I get that youā€™re not trying to actively recruit them now.. but.. youā€™ll find them.ā€
Bobby didnā€™t know what to say.
ā€œYou know that youā€™re a part of this, right? I see the future of the 118, and I see you in it. I donā€™t think of you as.. being on the outside in any way, Tommy.ā€
Bobby watched as a whole fleet of emotions tore through Tommyā€™s silence.
ā€œI believe you that you think that, Cap. But.. I.. donā€™t.ā€
ā€œOh..ā€ Bobby said, trying not to feel like heā€™d been punched in the gut. ā€œI am sorry to hear that, Tommy. I didnā€™t realize..ā€
ā€œAgain, itā€™s nothing that you did. I appreciate the way that everyone has accepted me as part of this.. ā€˜New 118ā€™, and believe me.. Itā€™s a hell of a lot better than the old one. I just canā€™t help feeling like..ā€ Tommy shook his head. ā€œThis is a great house, itā€™s just not my house.ā€
But it could be! Bobby wanted to say.
But he recognized the look in Tommyā€™s eyes. He recognized it like looking in a mirror. The feeling that when things were getting too good, you had to get out before it all collapsed on top of you..
He wanted to tell Tommy that it was okay to let things be better. To let people in and allow them to help you to hold up the good things, so that they wouldnā€™t necessarily tend toward collapse over time.
If he, Chim, and Hen all wanted Tommy on their team - Tommy should trust that, and not just.. remove himself because - for whatever reason - he didnā€™t feel that he deserved something nice, and warm, and stable, and.. healthy.
But Bobby was not capable of giving that speech.
Not when he himself didnā€™t believe it.
He knew his time with the 118 was numbered as well. His eyes subconsciously flicker to his little black book.
ā€œI understand why you feel like you need to move on,ā€ Bobby said, even if he didnā€™t fully understand, he understood enough. ā€œJust know, this is not what we would have chosen. I wish you the best at the 217. It truly is our loss.ā€
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missmarveledsblog Ā· 1 month ago
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Bet on it ( Bradley Bradshaw x reader ) PART THREE
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Summary : it the night of the gala an awkward start til the two break the silence that leaves them going down memory lane to simplier time with the ice breaking and thawing bradley starts to realise somethings like how good his name sound coming from her lips , how beautiful she truly is and the two get closer and closer
warnings : goofy , fluffy fun , allusions to smut rooster is older than reader by like 8 or something years so aging him up in og top gun timeline
previous part
It was odd , it was awkward as hell and a silent car ride as the both went to talk,openingĀ  their mouths and yet closed a second later . going from enemies and friends wasnā€™t so clear cut like in the movie where they were instant besties . sure they didnā€™t squabble or insult each other much as before still few slip ups here and there .Ā  now she kind wish its like in the movies anything would be better than this and when she tried to kill the silence words failed her . she also felt old feeling coming to the surface which she could only hate more for the timing .Ā  she never hated him , never trulyĀ  a part of her always loved the man.Ā  a drunken confession to jakeĀ  after a particularly bad time between the two that night . she confided in what happened all the years ago maybe it was dramatic reaction from her side but he did truly hurt her and now she wasĀ  questioning if he really knew thatĀ  , something they could talk about some other time she wasnā€™t going to make an already awkward moment even worse . it didnā€™t help how good he looked not that he wasnā€™t hotter than the fucking sun before but rooster inĀ  three piece suit should of been a crime how good he looked and even more happy she wasnā€™t driving or they would be heading to a hospital instead of a hospital charity gala .Ā 
Why couldnā€™t he talk , He of all peopleĀ  having trouble speaking when all he did was talk . it was like bagman not having an ego and yet the woman currently sitting in the passenger seat of his bronco had him either silent or a blubbering meeĀ  . the same woman who made his blood pressure rising had it rising or a whole different reason .Ā  ā€œ say something jesus anythingā€ he cursed himself internally.Ā 
ā€œ musicā€ he asked quickly to which she just gave a polite nod to . ā€œ least it was something ā€œ he mentally wondering how it was so bad , how it was like this to the point they couldnā€™t even talk to each other without the rest of their friends around , tapping his finger on the wheel as he listened to the music pretending he wasnā€™t cringing inside then it came on the radio a song from their childhood , a regular in the hard deck .Ā 
ā€œ you shake my nerves and your rattle my brainā€ that voice it wasnā€™t him ,Ā 
ā€œ too much love drives a manĀ  insaneā€ she could sing since well , he remember she and his father did but a three year old rendition of twinkle twinkle like star.Ā 
ā€œYou broke my will , but what a thrill ā€œ he joined turning to see her smiling .Ā 
ā€œ GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE ā€œ they screamed before bursting into a fit of laughter ,
ā€œ erm excuse me mini mitchell why the hell have i not heard you sing beforeā€ he asked.Ā 
ā€œ well you hated me so i wasnā€™t gonna sing you a lullaby now was i ā€œ she snorted.Ā 
ā€œ i disliked you never hated you but i regret all that really wish i could change it all if i could we could be touring america singing jerry lee lewisā€ he winked.
ā€œ as much as i love your rendition nothing will ever beat your dadā€™sĀ  what iā€™d give to hear him singing it againā€ she smiled softly .Ā Ā 
ā€œ nah what i would love is his and your version of twinkle twinkle little star , i mean you both made that a balletā€ he chuckled.Ā 
ā€œ we did rock that one , but i think our rewrite of bingo was better ā€œ she snorted.Ā 
ā€œ oh yeah the one where you made bingo like a twenty letter word and some numbers in there too ā€œhe mused yet playful lilt to his tone.Ā 
ā€œ hey i was exploring art through music and i was also a toddler all words were big back then ā€œ she mock offense .
ā€œ hey now your taking me up wrong i am a fan and so was my dad as he was able to follow alongĀ  he was your biggest fan ā€œ .Ā 
ā€œ and my dad is your biggest fan we lucked out on the godfather train huh ? ā€¦. Well sort of ā€œ she grimace realizing how it came out.Ā 
ā€œ hey your dadā€™sĀ  maverick i might be an orphan godchild soon with how he take risksĀ  ā€œ he grinned was her laughter always this way and why did he wanna hear more of it .
ā€œ my dad is maverick that man is gonna outlive us allā€Ā 
Ā the venue was bigger than she though it was bigger event than she thought . in a way it was better it meant more fund for her department , more resources,Ā  more bed.Ā 
ā€œ im not going to get tackle when we walk in her amā€ he joked .Ā 
ā€œ i mean beth might ā€¦ nah you should be fine i'll tell themĀ  it was a misunderstanding or somethingā€ .Ā 
ā€œ beth the lady i talk to cause if so iĀ  will use you as a shieldā€ .Ā 
ā€œ chivalry isn't dead after allā€ she smirked .Ā 
just as she went to get out of the car only for him to run like hell to her side opening the door even held her hand as she got out the full gentlemen treatmentĀ  seemed to be on the cards asĀ  they walked in the entrance. to say he wasĀ  nervous seeing the same security guard eyeing him up til she smile and shook her head signaling is all is good .Ā  the security guard made him nervous but the glare on beth faceĀ  wellĀ  had him standing behindĀ  y/n when the woman made her way over.Ā 
ā€œ sweet pea blink twice if you need help ā€œ she whispered.Ā Ā 
ā€œ most wonderfully divine miss beth its okĀ  we sorted it out , bradley this is the wonderfully divine beth most skill nurse beth this is bradley bradshaw master of piano and super hornet jetsā€ y/n stood pulling Ā  him forward and yet it wasn't the nervousĀ  it wasnā€™t fear of this southern woman who had a sweetĀ  nurturing smile but looks to kill , it was fact it was first time she said his name his actual name , not his callsign or surname but his name . it felt good it felt better then good it made things inside him stir and a dopey grin to form on his face . she got him up in this gala smiling like he was dopey from the snow white and the seven dwarves all because she said his name and this was not good this was not what he thought would happen so early on to the bet , Ā  he needed to and yet couldnā€™t squash feeling erupting inside himself that honestly made him feel shit.
Through out the night he stood taller , smiled widerĀ  everytime she introduced him to a coworker orĀ  shit he hope newer people would come in just to do it all again.Ā  Laughing and joking around with her coworkers , the pride that shouldnā€™t have been there yet burst out of him when they praise her on the good work , how she impacted the patientsĀ  or just what an honor it was to know or see her do her thing .Ā 
ā€œ i swear she is only doc iā€™ve seen that would sing along to the messed up nursery rhymes and not bat a lid and kids love her ā€œ beth cooed as he listened to her coworkers gushing about her.Ā 
ā€œ or trying to get people to come visit the kids she got people dressed as superheroā€™s last time ā€ marcus a fellow doctor asked.Ā 
ā€œ hey happy patients happy doctor ā€œ she shrugged taking a sip of her drink .Ā 
ā€œ we should say it to your dad get the dagger squad to comeā€ bradleyĀ  clapped excitedly.Ā 
ā€œ the staff and kids would be happy ā€œ beth winked . ā€œ not you iā€™m still on fence about you pretty boy ā€œ .
ā€œ hey deserved but i hope if her dad says yes i can win you over ā€œ he batted his lashes at the woman as she tried to keep her stance .Ā 
ā€œ what am i missing?ā€ marcus asked.Ā 
ā€œ well we didnā€™t get along for a while but now weā€™re cool rooster has redeemed himself tonight ā€œ she swirled the class and yet it he suddenly felt a sting at the fact is wasnā€™t his name.Ā 
ā€œ so when did you become a couple ā€œ the manĀ  asked excitedly only for both to choke on the liquid in there mouth.Ā 
ā€œ no no no ha no weā€™re just friendĀ  , buddies ā€œ she laughed grabbing napkinsĀ 
ļæ½ļæ½ yeah friends what she said i mean come on girl like her with dude like me ā€œ bradley chuckled til he seen her face drop and the hurt on it . ā€œ i didnā€™t mean it like that i mean you are wow beautiful .. oh my god am i having a stroke tonight or somethingā€Ā  he groaned.Ā 
ā€œ i think what baby eyes is trying to say is your too good for him and if it not well it what we knowā€beth god he could kiss that woman if she didnā€™t scare the hell out of him .Ā 
ā€œ exactly what i meant i didnā€™t mean i was better or hotter than you ā€œ he stumbled stuttering over his words.
ā€œ boy just shh not making it better.. Now take her to dance that dress is too good to be sitting here all night ā€ the woman hushed.Ā 
ā€œ yes maā€™am ā€¦ would you wanna dance with me i think my feet work better than mouth ā€œ he turned as she gave a little yes .Ā  now he really did hope his feet worked better than his mouthĀ  or was he going to make more of a fool of himself.Ā 
Hand on hers as she place the other on his shoulder and his other hand to her hip .Ā  gentle swaying he could do as that much it wasnā€™t too complicated and yet he felt his heart beating hard in his chest he was nearly expecting to see it on his shirt and then she looked up at him and his knees almost buckledĀ  .Ā  he never wanted her to look at him any other way than that , never wanted to hear rooster coming out of her mouth , then he tried to think of the past something to get his head in the game, he couldnā€™t lose his resolve so quickĀ  a month into the bet he needed to think of how he felt back then the way he felt when it all started . his motivation to keeping strong and yet he couldnā€™tĀ  the rational part of him was coming to effect and he decided one night to not think of it , one night to think of everything but enjoy the moment at hand.Ā 
As guest filtered out and some memories of her bosses she never wanted to member they stood out of the venue and chill air of night hit . when she saw bradley bradshaw at her door she didnā€™t think she would have one of the best nights of her life . she never thought feeling she buried so deep wouldĀ  break and come back in ten foldĀ  . it was crazy , borderline insane to how she felt by end of night and that was it she didnā€™t want the night to endĀ  , she didnā€™t want to say goodbye and things to go back to normal . she hated itĀ  knowing it was stupid to think this way fucking hell they just started being some what friends the last month.Ā  The shiver down her body and then she felt the warm weight of his jacket onĀ  her shoulders and his hand out to lead her back to the car .Ā  the whole timeshe willed herself to stop to think clearly to think of how he hurt her all those years ago when she felt like this first.Ā  But she couldnā€™t all logic and reason quashed by the beat of her heart . . she fell harder than she ever did. Pulling her up outside of her apartment she should of said goodnight leave the good to stay good in that moment .Ā 
ā€œ you wanna come in for a drinkā€ was all it took for another shift to happen a new direction to run it course and what she would find out the worst idea sheā€™s ever had .Ā 
Nervous of being in a small space together , nervous of new but old feeling coming back and nervousĀ  to theĀ  doubt of everything and anything. Ā  Few beers and glasses of wine took the worry , the nerves and the caution away . relax and giddy finding a trip down memory lane filling in the spots of being apart . she told him about med school how hard and crazy it was especially giving she was youngest of her class , old boyfriends and friends . he told her ofĀ  collageĀ  still a little sore spot not going to the naval academy but she wasnā€™t so happy with her dad for that either . then how surreal it was following in the footsteps of his dad and pete mitchell both daunting and exciting . more drink flowing as they laughed and joked around about the good side of memory lane .Ā Ā 
ā€œ i canā€™t believe we missed out on so much huh ?ā€ she sighed sadly .Ā 
ā€œ we really did , least we friends now right or did my stupid mouth and bad dancing scare you away?ā€he teased.Ā 
ā€œ you know bad dancing and mouth aside tonight has been so fun , really i mean you havenā€™t fully won beth over but you have won me over bradshawā€Ā  she beamed up at him .Ā 
ā€œ please call me bradley i like it better when you say it i mean anyone else no eww but when itā€™s you makes me happy when you say name ā€œ he leaned forward she felt herself pulled like a magnetic force .Ā 
ā€œ bradley ā€œ she whispered and just like that all resolved went out the windowĀ  and something snapped as two crashed against one another clash of teeth and tongues , hunger and adorations . stars aligning , fireworks , sunshine and fucking rainbows . a kiss and a fear of what was to come next .Ā 
A blinding light and a thumping headache . a personal jackhammer living in the confine of she sat upĀ  and the sun making it harder to open her eyesĀ  feeling around for her phone til her hand hit something that makes the hangover the least of her problemsĀ  as she force her eyes open and see a sleeping rooster naked in her bed . buzzing of her phone on the floor as she dove make sure not to waking the sleeping pilotĀ  crawling out the room not ready to deal with what happened just yet as she hit theĀ  little green icon .Ā 
ā€œ hey darling did ya have fun with chicken ?ā€Ā 
ā€œ more than i should of ā€œ she gulped .
part 4
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doctorwhoandfairytaillover Ā· 2 months ago
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What Makes a Home
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Summary: When Sirius Black was still in Hogwarts, there were few places that he could ever feel that he truly belonged. At Hogwarts, with his friends, and a secret place that he held ever so dear. Somewhere he couldn't bring himself to talk about.
Pairing: Sirius x Aunt Reader (PLATONIC)
A/N: I was inspired a lot by the song Find You by Sing Street and listened to it a bunch when writing this story. I think at this point we can all assume that I like making cute stories where characters get to have nice mother like figures.
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Growing up for a young Sirius Orion Black was a bit difficult, he was not very fond of the rules of the house of Black, which is why he tended to be on the receiving end of punishment quite often. But there were two places in the whole world that the young Sirius felt that he could freely be himself, Hogwarts and the home of his beloved aunt (Y/N) (L/N) nee Black. A name that was usually said with vitriol if ever spoken at home and avoided when in the company of other wizarding families for formal dinners.Ā 
But despite all that, Sirius loved getting to spend time with his aunt and running over to her place from time to time, even if it was not as often as he would have liked. The boy's rebellious soul felt freedom from the rules of his parents and getting to experience the warmth of being loved by his aunt.
Which is why, with his heavy suitcase in hand, Sirius had made haste to leave Platform 9 Ā¾ as soon as the train stopped. He said his quick goodbyes to his friends and booked it before his mother and father arrived to take Regulus and himself back home. He knew that they would have heard about his school antics and not been pleased, so with nothing else to lose, he left.Ā 
When he finally arrived at her home was fairly winded and the bouquet that he purchased was a bit worse for wear, but he did not care. With how lovely his aunt was, Sirius knew that she would be pleased at just having the chance to see him.Ā 
Sirius knocked on the door and loudly said. "Auntie! Itā€™s me! Sirius! Please open up!ā€
The door swung open and there stood the woman of the hour. ā€œMy sweet, sweet boy!ā€ she pulled him into a tight hug and pressed numerous kisses onto his ruddy cheeks
Sirius dropped his suitcase and hugged her. He was immediately enveloped by the smell that always made him feel better, a cozy homey scent of chamomile tea, parchment, and ink.Ā 
"I missed you!" He said, hugging her a little tighter and burying his face into her soft sweater.
ā€œOh! you're getting so tall, stay little for a while longer won't you?ā€Ā 
Sirius couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face when she stroked his hair. With a grin, he pulled away a little to look at her and said, "Well, it's not something I can stop you know. But for you Iā€™ll try.ā€
ā€œCome in, come in and give me that suitcase of yours, you must be tired!ā€ She said ushering him through the door.
ā€œOkay.ā€ Sirius obeyed, picking up his suitcase and entering after her. He immediately dropped down on the sofa. ā€œIā€™m knackered.ā€ He sighed tiredly, tilting his head against the cushions.
ā€œOh my sweet boy, it's always good to have you hereā€ she said while setting his suitcase off to the side.
ā€œI wish I could stay here forever,ā€ Sirius muttered, closing his eyes. It was cozy here, warm and comforting. He didn't even want to think about returning home.
ā€œLet's not think of that just yet, hopefully I donā€™t hear from Walburga too soonā€ she said wiping her hands against her skirt. ā€œI actually have your favorite cookies in the oven right now.ā€
"Mmm, now you've given me a reason to stay," Sirius hummed in response, opening one eye and looking up at her. "You spoil me too much auntie.ā€
ā€œI don't spoil you enough!ā€ she said pinching his cheek lovingly.
"Hey!" He protested, wrinkling his nose at her with a laugh. "You really spoil me a lot. I come to you every summer and you feed me non-stop in the time I get to stay with you. I'm afraid Iā€™ll put on weight and won't be able to recognize myself if I keep it up."
ā€œGood! Wards the girls away and I'll keep you to myselfā€ she teased.Ā 
Sirius laughed and rolled his eyes, amused. ā€œYou act like a mother more than my real mother! I wouldnā€™t mind you keeping me all to yourself, youā€™re my favorite after all.ā€
She smiled softly, ā€œI would keep you here if I could, if only your mother wasn't such a witch.ā€
Sirius smiled back, enjoying her caresses and soft voice. However, the mention of his ā€œmotherā€ darkened his mood for a moment. ā€œDon't even mention her... ā€œ He muttered bitterly, turning away and sitting up.
ā€œI know, I knowā€ she said with a sigh. ā€œJust give me a moment and I'll be back with those fresh cookies and a pot of teaā€
"Okay." Sirius mumbled.Ā 
When his aunt left, he leaned back against the sofa with a heavy sigh. He really didn't want to think about his mother. Not when here everything was so comfortable, warm and nice. Here he could be himself and not the Black heir.
It took several minutes for his aunt to return. In the meantime, Sirius was staring at the ceiling, tapping his fingers on his leg restlessly.
"Auntie," he spoke up as she walked over to the table, ā€œyouā€™re positive that Father or Mother hasnā€™t called about me?"
ā€œNo, not yet!ā€ She said bringing along her tray of cookies and tea
Surprisingly, this news left a strange feeling in his chest. A little part of him, tucked deep in his heart, always wanted their attention and care. But, on the other hand, he knew he would be better off not seeing them at all. Not while they treated him only as the future Black heir and not as their son.
Sirius looked at her and smiled, "Thatā€™s good. I can have all the cookies to myself."
ā€œYou'll take some of these to your brother, won't you? I worry when Regulus doesn't come for a visit.ā€
Sirius rolled his eyes at the mention of his brother and muttered under his breath but still nodded in agreement. He's going to give some of the cookies to Regulus. "But if you worry about him so much, why don't you just tell him personally?"
She sighed and poured him a cup of tea, ā€œHe never answers my letters or calls, your mother certainly has her clutches on that boy.ā€
Sirius grimaced and accepted the cup of tea, wrapping his fingers around it. The warm liquid warmed him, and he took a small sip, ā€œYouā€™re not wrong about that. Mother has her claws in both of us.ā€ He looked at his aunt, his expression slightly bitter. "Why does it seem that she's always hated us more and more over the years?"
ā€œShe's always been bitter over the littlest things, she was a real nag growing upā€ she said. ā€œTry not to take it to heart.ā€
Sirius chuckled at that description. He could easily imagine his mother being bitter, just like his grandparents, and always finding something to complain about. "Is there a part of her that ever loved us, I wonder? At least Father sometimes acknowledges that weā€™re children.ā€
ā€œI wish I knew the answer my sweet boy, but if as her sister, she refuses anything with me, then I wouldnā€™t know.ā€
Sirius nodded silently in response, wrapping his fingers tighter around the cup, feeling the warmth and holding it tighter. "Yeah... I hope Regulus is alright. I doubt anything good awaits him at home." He said bitterly and took a large gulp of tea.
ā€œBut enough about your mother, how was school this year? Any new friends?ā€
Sirius visibly brightened up when she changed the topic. He took another sip of tea before enthusiastically answering, "It was pretty cool, honestly. James and Remus are still my favorites, of course. But we found a new friend Peter, he's cool too. It's hard to be with us, though. We always get in trouble," he said with a chuckle, as if being in trouble was something to brag about.
ā€œNot too much trouble I hope,ā€ she teased.
Sirius shrugged, the corners of his lips tugging up in a smile. "Not too much trouble, just a normal amount. James, Remus, and I have gotten detention multiple times this year, and Peter only once. But we've had a lot of fun.ā€ He chuckled again, feeling a pang of mischief in his chest as he mentioned the pranks. He definitely had no plans on telling her about their pranks on Snape.
ā€œThat's good, have fun while you're young because you don't want to wind up like your auntie do you?ā€
Sirius burst out laughing, rolling his eyes a little. He shook his head and said jokingly, ā€œNo, no, of course not. I donā€™t want to grow up to be a lonely old cat lady.ā€
ā€œWatch yourself boy, it's one cat and two dogs, thank you.ā€
Sirius grinned like a little kid. He reached out to poke her in the cheek, which he has done since he was younger, and said with a mischievous tone, ā€œStill seems like an old cat lady.ā€
The skittering of nails against wood caught his attention and in just a moment, his auntā€™s corgi ran into the room through the doggy door and jumped up excitedly upon seeing the boy.Sirius laughed, seeing the corgi run up happily to him. He loved animals and dogs were no exception. He leaned down and patted the corgi on the head and scratched his ears, "Hey, buddy!"
The dog barked with excitement, wiggling in joy at seeing Sirius.
Sirius laughed again and scratched the dog's head vigorously, clearly enjoying the pupā€™s excitement. He looked up at his aunt and joked, ā€œWell, I think the corgi clearly missed me more than you did.ā€
ā€œWell these old bones of mine aren't going to jump in excitement if that's what you want,ā€ she joked with a sip of tea.
Sirius smirked, he was amused by her comment and the corgi's behavior. "Are you trying to hint that you're an old woman, Auntie?"
ā€œYou're the one that called me old, young manā€ she wagged a finger at him.Ā 
Sirius chuckled and said with a cheeky smile, "It was in a humorous manner, of course. I know you're still full of energy and still a hundred years younger than Dumbledore."
She laughed, ā€œDumbledore has been hundreds of years old even when I went to Hogwarts.ā€
Sirius laughed imagining Dumbledore being old already when she was at Hogwarts. He sat up a little, still petting the corgi, and said, "Yeah, he must've been a fossil even then."
The dog barked again, licking Sirius' hand and demanding attention. Sirius smiled and continued to shower the corgi with attention, scratching its head and ears, and even giving it a little rub on the belly. "You know, I'm quite jealous of the corgi," he said with a cheeky tone, looking up at his aunt, "It has all your attention."
A thoughtful look came over her features, ā€œHe was actually meant to be yours, you know.ā€
Sirius looked at her in surprise, the corgi still wiggling in his lap. He thought for a moment before saying in disbelief, ā€œReally? But youā€™ve had Pudgy for years!ā€
She smiled sadly, ā€œWhen you were 5, I hoped your mother would finally set our differences and let me come to your birthday even when I hadnā€™t received invitations to the previous ones. He was supposed to be your gift, but she said finally responded that time and said I was never allowed to come. Not even over her grave.ā€
Sirius' expression darkened at her words, the smile disappearing from his face. He could feel the familiar bitterness well up inside him as he listened to her story. The anger at his mother only grew. "I honestly donā€™t understand herā€¦" he said quietly, his gaze fixed on the corgi. He petted the dog softly, ā€œWhy does she hate you so much? Youā€™re her sister, and youā€™re so much nicer.ā€
ā€œMarried your uncle who was a muggle, remember?ā€ She reminded him gently.
ā€œItā€™s honestly ridiculousā€¦ā€ Sirius muttered under his breath. He never understood his parents' obsession with blood purity and the importance they placed on it. He looked back up at her with an upset expression, "It doesnā€™t change the fact that youā€™re family. She should have let you come on my birthdays or let me visit you more often than I do.ā€
ā€œShe thought I would be a bad influence on you. But I just wish she hadnā€™t been so bitter. Your uncle would have loved to know youā€ she said sadly.
"I would have loved to have him in my life too." Sirius muttered quietly, continuing to pet the pup who was still wiggling in his lap. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again in a slightly bitter voice, "She didnā€™t even let us come to his funeral, just because he was a Muggle."
A few tears slipped down her face even as she tried to keep smiling for his sake, ā€œI know he wouldn't have held that against you, he was always so proud that his nephews would be wizards.ā€
Sirius felt that familiar pang in his chest as he watched her wipe away the falling tears. He had always known she was saddened by his uncleā€™s death, but he hadnā€™t realized just how much. He gently put a hand on her knee. "We probably wouldā€™ve been his favorite nephews," he said with a half smile, trying to lighten the mood.
She smiles at his comfort, ā€œI actually have something that he asked me to set aside for you and Regulus.ā€
Sirius' expression was surprised as he listened to her words. He hadn't expected that his uncle would have anything left for him. He was both intrigued and curious, and his gaze became more attentive. "Really?" he asked, his grip on the corgi tightening slightly.
She nodded, ā€œJust give me a moment and I'll go get itā€
Sirius nodded and watched as she got up from her seat to go get the things his uncle had left for him and Regulus. He continued to pet the corgi, its soft fur helping to calm his anticipation.
While he waited, Sirius sat in his chair, thoughts swirling in his mind. He wondered what his uncle had left him and what significance it would have. The fact that his uncle had set aside something for him and his brother was unexpected, especially considering his motherā€™s bitter rejection of his aunt and the family's strict beliefs. Losing the boyā€™s attention, Pudgy the corgi waddled out of the room.Ā 
ā€œHere... it... is!ā€ she said struggling a little beneath its weight.
Sirius laughed again, standing to help her with the heavy present. He looked down at it, intrigued, "What did Uncle even leave us, anyway?"
ā€œIā€™m not sure, your uncle was so secretive about this thing. He wanted to be sure you wouldn't open it until you were 14 or mature enough for it.ā€Ā 
Siriusā€™ eyebrows raised at her words, his eyes now fixed on the present. It was clear that it was something important. He weighed the box in his hands thoughtfully. "Well, only a few more years until I can finally find out then. What about Regulus? Whatā€™s in his?"
ā€œBoy, don't play with me. Your 14th birthday was a few weeks ago and I think youā€™re mature enough,ā€ she sassed. ā€œAnd I wouldnā€™t know about Regulus' gift either, he said they were for the two of you.ā€Ā 
Sirius' cheeks grew warm and he let out a sheepish chuckle. He wasnā€™t for much fuss about his birthdays and tended to forget about them. Feeling slightly embarrassed, he rubbed the back of his head and said with an amused tone, "Oh right, I guess I am a year older. It slipped my mind."
ā€œWell, go onā€ she said encouragingly. ā€œSee what he left for you.ā€Ā 
Sirius looked down at the present in his hands once again, his curiosity now growing. He took a deep breath, the weight of the present felt heavier than any Christmas gift heā€™d received before. He slowly began to unwrap the packaging, pulling off the paper and revealing the contents of the box.
The wrapping paper was tossed aside, but Sirius eyes were transfixed on what had appeared once it was removed. He stared at the gift in stunned silence for a moment. He didnā€™t know exactly what heā€™d been expecting, but it certainly hadnā€™t been this. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest and his mind whirling. He hadnā€™t been this speechless in ages.
His jaw dropped as he stared down at the guitar, amp, and leather jacket (his main focus despite the other knick knacks). His mind was in a flurry of thoughts and emotions, but there was one thing he wanted to do more than anything else. He reached into the box, gently pulling out the guitar and running his fingers down its surface. His hands trembled slightly as he held it, his mind already filled with visions of him performing with his friends.
ā€œThese were his,ā€ she said softly.Ā 
Sirius looked up at her, his eyes wide and full of wonder. He could never have expected that his uncle would give him something like this. He held the guitar tightly in his hands, his heart filled with gratitude. The knowledge that these gifts had once been a part of his uncle's life made them all the more special to him.
"He loved music so much, didnā€™t he?" He murmured, still awestruck.
ā€œHe loved it,ā€ she said wistfully. ā€œHe once came with this guitar to serenade me and my father and sister were furious. How could a muggle come and traipse around the family home?ā€ she laughed fondly.
Sirius chuckled, imagining a much younger version of his uncle playing the guitar and trying to impress his aunt and her family. To most pure-bloods, it would be a major disgrace to bring a muggle anywhere near their family home and yet it sounded like the most romantic, exciting thing in the world to Sirius. "I can only imagine the look on our family's faces.ā€
ā€œHorrified!ā€ she laughed, ā€œbut I loved it and couldn't imagine anyone else but him after that.ā€
Sirius felt his heart warm slightly as she laughed, the sound filling the room. He could sense the love and adoration she still had for his uncle.
It reminded him once again of the fact that he had lost the opportunity to really know his uncle.
"I wish he'd been around longer." He said quietly, his fingers tracing the strings of the guitar.
ā€œI know, sweet boyā€ she placed a hand on his in comfort. ā€œBut he was sick and in so much pain, he couldnā€™t keep fighting it.ā€
Sirius felt her warm hand on his and his heart ached at her words. He knew that his uncle had been ill for a long time before he passed away, but he hadnā€™t really understood the extent of his pain. He nodded silently, trying to push down the feeling of sadness that was welling up inside him. He swallowed and his voice was hoarse as he quietly replied, ā€œYeahā€¦ I knowā€¦"
ā€œBut make sure to check the box, I know that he wrote you a letter tooā€ she said confidently about what she remembered.
Sirius looked up at her, his eyes widened slightly. His thoughts were distracted from the sadness for a moment at the mention of his uncle's letter. He reached back into the box and began searching through the items in search of the letter. His fingers finally brushed against a folded piece of paper and he pulled it out, holding it carefully in his hand. He stared down at the letter, his heart beating in his chest. He could see the familiar writing of his uncle's name on the front, but he couldn't bring himself to immediately open and read it.
He looked back up at his aunt, his expression a mixture of trepidation and anticipation. "I'm... I'm not sure I'm ready to open this just yet..." he said quietly, his grip on the letter tightening.
ā€œAnd that's okay, sweet boyā€ she said softly. ā€œYou can read it whenever you're ready, that letter is for you only.ā€
Sirius nodded, feeling a weight lifted from his chest. He was grateful for her understanding and the fact that she wasn't pressuring him to open the letter right away. He carefully placed the letter aside and looked back at the guitar and amp. He couldn't resist the urge to hold the guitar again, so he picked it up once more. He strummed a few chords awkwardly, feeling the weight of the instrument in his lap. "I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time with these..."
ā€œYou'll learn eventually and I hope if it isn't too much, would you let me be the first to hear when you can play a full song?ā€Ā 
Sirius's heart fluttered a little at her request, and he smiled warmly. He was honored that she wanted to be the first one to hear him play. He clutched the guitar in his arms and nodded vigorously. "Of course, Auntie! You'll be the first one to hear me play."
He was determined more than ever to learn how to play the guitar and make his uncle proud, and to express his emotions in music. He could already imagine all the songs he would write, all the pain and love he would pour into them. He looked back at her, his heart full of gratitude. "Thank youā€¦ for everything.." He whispered.
ā€œIt's my pleasure, sweet boyā€ she said comfortingly. ā€œI hope you know that.ā€
Sirius continued to hold the guitar, staring down at it with a mix of wonder and determination. He wanted to become the best guitar player that the world had ever seen, maybe even better than that group his aunt liked, The Beatles.
"I'm going to work hard and learn everything I can," he mumbled, mentally making a plan to practice for hours every day.
ā€œAre you going to want to try on the leather jacket he gave you?ā€ She asked looking into the box again.
Sirius's face lit up at her question. How could he not want to try on a leather jacket? Especially one that had once belonged to his uncle.
He carefully placed the guitar down, then reached over and took up the leather jacket from the box. He held it up, admiring its sleek, cool appearance, and his grin widened.
"This looks awesome... I can't wait to see how it looks on me." he said excitedly, already anticipating how cool he was going to look. He slipped the jacket over his shoulders and zipped it up, taking a step back to look at his reflection in a nearby mirror.Ā 
But it was slightly too big, as his uncle had been a much taller man. Sirius scrutinized his reflection, a hint of disappointment washing over him as the jacket hung a little loose on his frame. He pouted slightly, pulling the edges of the jacket tighter.Ā 
"Yeah... it's a little big," he admitted, looking up at her with slight sheepishness.
She laughed fondly, ā€œNothing a little spell can't fix, want me to give it a try?ā€Ā 
Sirius perked up at her words, his disappointment quickly disappearing. He had completely forgotten about the countless spells they could use as wizards. A small, sly smile tugged at the corners of his lips. ā€œYeah, why not.ā€ he chuckled, running his hands over the jacket, feeling the material against his skin.
He closed his eyes for a moment. Her hands came to rest gently on his shoulders and he focused his mind to her next words, as she murmured ā€œResizamento.ā€Ā 
He felt a familiar tingly sensation washing over him as the jacket began to shrink and mold to his body, conforming to his form. Sirius eyes fluttered open, and he couldn't help but gasp as he looked at his reflection again in the mirror. The jacket now fit him perfectly, molding to his frame and accentuating his lean body. He spun around, admiring himself from all angles, a feeling of pure elation washing over him.Ā 
"It's perfect..." he breathed, grinning widely.
She hugged him tightly from behind and pressed a kiss to his hair, ā€œHe seemed to know it would be.ā€Ā 
Sirius smiled widely, feeling a burst of affection as his aunt hugged him from behind and kissed his hair. He could practically feel his Uncle's presence in the room, as if he had known that his gifts would fit just right.
He ran his fingers over the material of the jacket once again, a sense of belonging and happiness filling him.
"I'm never going to take it off," he teased, spinning around in her arms to face her.
ā€œYouā€™ll have to at some point, leather is a material that needs to be cared forā€ she said.
Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically, a small laugh escaping his lips. He knew she was right, of course, but the idea of parting with the jacket for even a moment felt like a small tragedy to him.
"Ugh, I know," he sighed, pretending to pout. "But it's sooo comfortable. I just want to wear it forever."
ā€œWell with a little magic, you probably couldā€ she said nonchalantly.
Sirius's eyes widened with excitement at her words. He hadn't thought about that before. If he cast spells to clean and care for the leather, he probably could wear it indefinitely without wearing it out. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, a mischievous smile on his face.
"Hm... now that's a thought. I could do that, canā€™t I?ā€
ā€œDon't you get any ideas mister,ā€ she said playfully.
Sirius put on a look of mock-innocence, fluttering his eyelashes and holding his hands up in defense.Ā 
ā€œWho, me? Get ideas? Never.ā€ He giggled before continuing, ā€œBut can you imagine? Iā€™d become known as the wizard who wore a leather jacket every day. Iā€™d be a living legend.ā€
ā€œAs long as it isn't for the worst smelling, then that's all you. Have at itā€ she said taking a seat.
Sirius feigned shock, bringing a hand to his chest and looking deeply offended. ā€œWorst-smelling? Me? Aunt, youā€™re underestimating my grooming skills.ā€ He leaned forward, lowering his voice conspiratorially. ā€œIā€™ll charm the jacket to smell like new and fresh leather every single day. You won't be able to tell the difference.ā€
She laughed heartily, ā€œNow I know all the girls will swoon with you around, the jacket and guitar are a powerful combination.ā€Ā 
Sirius smirked, a hint of pride in his expression. He couldn't deny that the thought of making girls swoon was appealing. He was a teenage boy after all.
ā€œYou think soā€¦?ā€ He asked, running a hand through his hair with a cocky confidence. ā€œI bet they'll be fighting over me with a guitar and a leather jacket.ā€
ā€œWell it certainly worked on me back then.ā€Ā 
Sirius raised an eyebrow, a cheeky grin on his face. ā€œDid it, now? I guess these gifts were quite the winning combination.ā€ He smirked, eyeing her up and down, his tone teasing. ā€œSo are you saying you have a weakness for leather jacket-wearing, guitar-playing boys?ā€
She sat back comfortably, ā€œWell I married the "bad boy", didn't I?ā€
Sirius let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back. He thought that was a very accurate description of his uncle. He had definitely fit the part of a "bad boy." He ran a hand through his hair again, grinning.Ā 
ā€œAh yes, I guess you did. And I assume that all of this...ā€ he said, gesturing to his new gifts, ā€œā€¦had something to do with it?ā€
ā€œSome of it, because despite all appearances, your uncle was a gentlemanā€
Sirius smiled warmly, his heart filled with a sense of pride and affection. He could imagine his uncle acting like a gentle and courteous gentleman around his aunt, even with his bad boy looks.Ā 
He chuckled slightly, his tone teasing. ā€œA gentleman with a bad boy image... he really was the complete package, wasnā€™t he? I bet all the girls fell head over heels for him,ā€ Sirius continued, his grin widening. ā€œHe probably had them all swooning left and right.ā€
She shrugged, ā€œI suppose so, but your uncle just always made it a point to make sure I knew that I was the only one for him.ā€
Sirius's heart melted a little at her words. The devotion and commitment his uncle and aunt had for each other was incredibly romantic, and Sirius couldnā€™t help but feel a pang of longing for a love like that one day. He let out a soft sigh, looking at her with a mixture of admiration and hope. ā€œHe really loved you, didnā€™t he?ā€
ā€œTil death did us part,ā€ she said softly.
Sirius felt a lump form in his throat at her words, a bittersweet smile on his face. He knew that his uncle had loved her deeply, that their love had been strong and passionate, right up until the very end. He reached out and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.Ā 
He looked up at her, his gaze intense. ā€œAuntieā€¦ā€ he started, his voice a little hoarse. ā€œIs it okay if I ask you something? Something a little personal?ā€
ā€œOf course, sweet boy. You know that I try to be as honest as I can with you?ā€
Sirius nodded, feeling a sense of appreciation wash over him. He knew that she would always be honest with him, and he felt comfortable asking her personal questions. He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before asking, ā€œI... I was wondering... what it was like? You and him, when you first met. What was he likeā€¦? How did you know that he was the oneā€¦?ā€
ā€œIt was all the little things coming together that let me know he was the one for me,ā€ she said swooning a little at the thought. ā€œBut we were young, your age actually when we met by chance.ā€
Sirius smiled at the dreamy look in her eyes as she recalled their first meeting. He had a feeling he knew what she meant. It wasnā€™t just one thing, but a combination of things that had drawn her to his uncle.Ā 
ā€œBy chanceā€¦ā€ he repeated, his voice soft. ā€œLike fate?ā€
ā€œDon't know what else you could call it, because to think that the bad boy would do all that he could to see a girl he had met only once, it couldn't be anything else but fateā€œ she said fondly.Ā 
Sirius chuckled softly, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. It sounded like something out of a romance novel. A bad boy seeing a beautiful girl, and then doing everything in his power to get her attention and make her his own.
He smiled warmly. ā€œHe really wanted to make sure you were his, didnā€™t he?ā€
ā€œOh yes, I was dressed all prim and proper on our outing as a family and that sneaky scoundrel snuck his name and address into my skirtā€™s pocket.ā€
Sirius let out a loud scoff, both amused and surprised at his uncle's sneaky tactics. He could imagine his uncle slipping his details into her pocket when no one was watching, a cheeky smile on his face.
ā€œSneaky, but effective. I guess he was pretty determined to get your attention,ā€ he said, his tone teasing.
ā€œHe certainly had it alright, because I had never met a muggle like him before or ever,ā€ she said honestly.
Sirius chuckled again, imagining his auntā€™s confusion and curiosity encountering a muggle for the first time. He could only imagine how different his uncle must have been from the other pure-blood wizards she was familiar with. He leaned back, his tone light hearted, ā€œI bet that must have thrown you off. A muggle boy having that effect on a pure-blood witch.ā€
ā€œIt certainly startled me, because most young wizards wouldn't even talk with me because the family name was intimidating but also because Walburga was meant to be the first choice.ā€
Sirius's expression softened as she spoke, feeling a pang of sympathy for her. He could understand that family name bringing about some hesitation and intimidation, as the Black family held a lot of status and influence within the wizarding world.
He reached out to take her hand, squeezing it gently. ā€œI bet those wizards were idiots then, not wanting to get to know you because of the family name.ā€
ā€œFor the best really, gave your uncle and edge over the restā€ she shrugged.Ā 
He smirked, his tone teasing. ā€œBut, I bet that wasnā€™t the only reason you chose him over the rest. You just couldnā€™t resist a bad boy in leather, could you?ā€Ā 
ā€œYou think all of the boys with ties and sweater vests could have made me swoon?ā€
Sirius laughed heartily at the image of stuffy, straight-laced boys in ties and sweater vests trying to make his aunt swoon. It was a comical sight, and he couldnā€™t imagine her being even remotely interested in them.
He shook his head firmly, a teasing grin on his face.Ā 
ā€œNo, definitely not. Those boys would have had no chance against a bad boy in leather. I mean, come on. Itā€™s not even a competition.ā€ He chuckled again, his tone mischievous. ā€œBesides, I think youā€™ve got a thing for leather-wearing bad boys, donā€™t you?ā€
He waggled his eyebrows jokingly, trying to gauge her reaction. He was just teasing, but he wouldnā€™t be surprised if she actually did have a soft spot for bad boys like his uncle.
ā€œBad boys tend to be misunderstood young men, and they hold a special place in my heartā€ she affirmed.Ā 
Sirius felt a warmth spreading through his chest at her words. It was a testament to her kind and understanding nature, that she saw beyond the surface of things and understood people on a deeper level.
He smiled warmly, his tone soft. ā€œYeah, I guess bad boys are just misunderstood sometimes. They donā€™t all live up to their reputation, do they? And you can see through that, and still love and care for them despite their flaws.ā€
ā€œWhen we learn to look past the appearances, we can have the honor of knowing those worth having in our lives,ā€ she said kindly.Ā 
Sirius nodded, his expression thoughtful. He could sense the wisdom in her words, and he knew that she was speaking from years of experience and insight.
He squeezed her hand again. ā€œYouā€™re right, I guess. Itā€™s important to look past the surface and really get to know someone before making judgments. It helps us understand them and love them for who they truly are, flaws and all.ā€
She squeezed his hand in return with a smile, ā€œNow, how about you try and play your guitar a bit, while I make us a quick dinner. Okay?ā€
Sirius felt a surge of excitement at the prospect of trying out his new guitar. He had been itching to play it ever since he unwrapped it and now he had the perfect opportunity. He gave her a quick hug before hopping off the couch and darting into the living room, guitar in hand. As he settled on the couch, guitar in his lap, Sirius began to strum the strings, his fingers plucking at them with a bit of clumsiness. He closed his eyes, a smile on his face as the music filled the space around him. He let the music take him away, his fingers moving over the strings, creating a simple but beautiful melody that echoed throughout the house. He forgot about everything else and lost himself in the moment, feeling free and alive as he played.Ā 
His aunt from the other room hummed along and Sirius smiled to himself as he heard his auntā€™s humming to his playing. It was a small moment, but it added to the warm and cozy feeling that filled the house. He continued strumming the guitar, playing with increasing confidence and feeling a sense of accomplishment at the sounds he was creating. Every now and then, he strummed a wrong note, but he didnā€™t let it bother him, correcting his mistake and carrying on.
Oh yes, moments like these were truly what made it feel like home.Ā 
Which is why he never spoke about it in adulthood, because he lost it.
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inmyheaddd Ā· 3 months ago
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beneath the surface - averyjameson
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a/n: literally couldnā€™t write them fighting for another second because they are the cutest couple šŸ’” masterlist wc: 735 taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @littlemissmentallyunstable @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary
@heartwithsimplenotes @whatsamongus @anintellectualintellectual
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ā€œeveryone says that weā€™re ā€œsuch oppositesā€, wondering how do we even stand eachother, how weā€™re even together, dammit, jameson, maybe theyā€™re right!ā€
her hands moved around as she spoke. theyā€™d been fighting for the last 10 minutes, but their voices only started to really pick up just now. they both hated yelling, but there they were.Ā 
ā€œyou really think that?ā€ a chuckle escaped his mouth as his voice grew louder.Ā 
ā€œyes jameson, i do! i-Ā Ā i donā€™t get it sometimes.ā€ her voice quivered as she yelled, taking a breath and speaking again before she could stop herself. ā€œi donā€™t getĀ you.ā€ she let it out quietly, she didnā€™t even want to say it out loud ā€” didnā€™t even want to think of it as a possibility.Ā 
the crease in his brows dissipated immediately, his face was telling more signs of concern and anxiety now. ā€œheiress, you get me more than anyone ever has.ā€ his voice was quieter now and he stepped closer, eyes never leaving hers as he cradled her face with his hands.
ā€œthen let meĀ know,ā€ she pleaded, her eyes glossy, ā€œtell me, jameson. you keep silent about all these feelings and you donā€™t open up, you just pretend youā€™re all happy and drink your hurt away.ā€Ā 
his hands dropped from her face, and that somehow hurt more than any words could. ā€œyou want to talk about not opening up? avery, i love you, goddammit, but you canā€™t tell me about how youā€™re feeling for the life of you.ā€Ā 
avery was silent as she swallowed thickly, knowing that he was right.Ā 
she expected him to say more, to continue to tell her how awful she was, how much of a burden she is. but nothing came, only heaving, heavy pants from jameson and a headache on her end already starting to seep in.
ā€œi know. iā€™m sorry, i know.ā€ she couldnā€™t meet his eyes, her chin slightly dropping.
ā€œheiress, i canā€™t tell you about how im feeling when i take one look at your face, and know youā€™re hurting much more than you could possibly bear. itā€™s impossible.ā€ he raised his hand back up to gently raise her chin.Ā 
ā€œi love you.ā€ he said it like he meant it with his whole being, and he did.
ā€œi love you.ā€ she mirrored back. ā€œiā€™m sorry. iā€™m trying, i really am, but ive gotten so used toā€”ā€œĀ 
she cut herself off, seeing the look on jamesonā€™s face, he knew her inside and out, knew all the reasons of why and how she did things. he didnā€™t need to hear her say it, and it would only hurt her. he knew that.
ā€œiā€™m justā€¦ iā€™m sorry.ā€Ā 
ā€œheiress, you have nothing to be sorry for. andĀ iā€™mļæ½ļæ½sorry for ever giving you the idea that you had to be.ā€Ā Ā 
she shook her head, opening her mouth to speak but jameson took over.
ā€œplease donā€™t try and defend me, let me say this. you deserve the world and i want to be the one to give it to you.ā€ both of his hands were on her face again, ā€œi have this nagging feeling that telling you how iā€™m hurting makes me less than. i just want to be perfect for you, in a sense.ā€Ā 
ā€œjameson,ā€ she shook her head, ā€œit doesnā€™t make you less than, it makes you human. youā€™re absolutely perfect for me. youā€™re perfect inĀ everyĀ sense.ā€Ā 
jamesonā€™s eyes flickered to her lips, then back up to her eyes, silently asking for permission to kiss her. he felt like his words would betray him, like they could never convey just how much he truly appreciated her.
avery leaned in and their lips immediately found a rythym against each other. he could taste the salt from her tears earlier, and silently hoped that it would be the last time.
as avery pulled back and rested her forehead on his, she whispered into the space between them, ā€œi hate fighting with you.ā€Ā 
ā€œi know. you have no idea how much i hate it.ā€Ā 
ā€œi want us to be better.ā€ she sniffled with her eyes closed, ā€œi donā€™t want to lose you.ā€
jamesonā€™s hand slid down to intertwine with hers, ā€œyouā€™re never going to lose me.ā€ he promised,Ā 
ā€œweā€™ll figure this out. we always do. no more silence, no more hiding, no more running away from what scares us.ā€Ā 
avery lightly squeezed his hand, ā€œweā€™ll figure this out.ā€ she echoed.Ā 
jameson pulled her into a hug, and the silence suddenly felt a lot less heavy. they werenā€™t perfect, but they were trying ā€” for eachother.Ā 
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romanticaacore Ā· 1 year ago
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This fic was inspired by the song "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. I first thought of giving this to Jing Yuan because I can also see him in this theme but I couldn't resist Tartaglia. I'm just trapped under his spell. He is my whole world...!! ā™„ļø
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"You're not just going to leave me here like this, are you?"
The man would come and find you every single day and would always keep you company. You did everything in your power to keep him at bay, to throw some weak excuse that you were busy. Heavens, there were times when you would flat out tell him that you did not want to be with him.
Tartaglia was a man who appreciated honesty. He valued good and true communication, he did not have the time and patience when it came to mind games, especially when it came towards the things and people that mattered to him.
And against his better judgment, you had managed to carve yourself deep into his heart. He did not understand how or why it happened, it just did. It was cruel, how you avoided him. It felt as though you grabbed a sharp blade and stabbed him straight into his chest, the air being knocked out of lungs every single time you would reject his advances.
But what stung most of all was the fact that you were as a matter of fact, not honest with him.
He could tell that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. If you truly wished to do nothing with him, you would be much harsher towards him. He knew you were not a pushover, you could take care of yourself and yet he still wished to take care of you. The lingering touches, the longing gazes, the way in which your hand fit so perfectly in his own was otherworldly. You were made specifically for him and him only. He could not have crafted a person so perfect, someone who both satisfies and calms him.
Someone who makes him feel human.
Reaching out towards you Tartaglia took your wrist and held it close. He pressed the palm of your hand against his chest, straight against his heart and he kept you there, his blue eyes piercing your own.
You belonged to him. He belonged to you.
He cursed the fact that he was a Harbinger. If he was not in the Fatui, he was sure that the two of you would already be together. That was the only reason you avoided him, the fear of being associated with someone like him was too great.
And he could not fault you for that.
Salty tears clouded your vision as you stared at the handsome man, his back straight like the soldier that he was. Everything about him was prim and proper, but in a deadly way, like a weapon ready for the bloodiest battle.
"You are a killer." you said, voice quivering and yet still giving into his touch.
"I am." he confessed. There was no point in denying it, he could not hide anything from you.
He did not want to hide anything. Not anymore.
Standing before you was not Tartaglia, Childe, the 11th Fatui Harbinger. In this very sacred moment he laid himself for you, his soul and heart bared completely for you and no one else. He was being selfish, so horribly selfish. But damn it all, he wanted you. His ambitions were sky high but he could not give you up.
He did not want anyone else by his side. It was going to be either you or no one.
His lips hovered over your own, threatening to steal the many kisses he promised to claim a long time ago.
You were not sure if you could stop him.
"You are not a creature capable of such love."
"I can learn. For you."
There it was, that horrible confidence, dare you say arrogance even. Who did he think he is? How dare he do this to you - waltzing in your life and staking his claim to your heart? You wanted to slap him, to kick him, to show him just how angry you were. You wanted to cry and yell and to kiss him. You wanted to leave him breathless, to make him ache for you but was it worth it? To leave everything you knew, your whole life behind to go see the world with this man, this glorious, wonderful man?
Knowing him, he would take your beating without any complaints.
It was hard to be in love. But it was even harder to love a man like him.
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screamingcrows Ā· 6 months ago
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Note: This was supposed to be a 50 word shitpost, I hate myself. Born from a mixture of being exposed to too much Dr. Ratio art tonight and being a massive coward. Not proofread because this is my 20th hour awake.
Warnings/tags: suggestive, student/teacher, miscommunication, comfort, age gap (reader is university student and Ratio is probably 35 is my bet?)
Minors, ageless, blank blogs will be blocked DNI
Thinking about attending one of Dr. Ratio's classes, and you're a little confused but you've got the spirit. Ultimately, due to a bunch of external turmoil in your life, you end up getting a poor result on a test, prompting him to call you over after class.
With shaky hands, you head up to the podium as your classmates file out, taking the white noise with them and leaving you alone to face his disappointment. It didn't help how badly you'd like to perform well, impress him, hear him praise you.
With your hands rubbing your eyes, an apology had already begun taking shape on you tongue, it never made it past your lips.
"It's come to my attention that you've been struggling with the latest addition to our curriculum, and seeing as you-"
"I really tried, okay? It just- I haven't had enough time and everything went to shit and and-" you can barely get the words out, heart lurching at how much it hurt, wanting nothing more than plead with him to let you stay.
Tears stung in the corners of your eyes, vision blurry already. Probably for the better so you wouldn't risk looking up and seeing his disappointment. You kept your gaze down even as he cleared his throat barely able to focus on the sound. He continued in a strangely gentle tone, it felt almost out of place.
"As I was saying; seeing as you generally perform above average, it stood to reason that something had impeded your studies. If it could interest you, you are welcome to come by my office to brush up."
And that's how you found yourself anxiously pacing back and forth in the hallway a couple of days later. Your attire left little to the imagination, wanting to make sure he didn't regret giving you a chance. After all, his words had been oozing with subtext, right?
His reaction left something to be desired, merely coughing into his hand before turning his head away, beckoning you inside. It was a tense affair, sitting across from him and trying to keep still as he began lecturing. At some point he slid a sheet of questions across the desk for you, observing as you tried to solve them and gently nudging you to the correct methods.
"Doctor? I thought we were, you know, that you'd raise my grade if I uhm..." your voice faltered, seeing him pointedly look away only made your confusion more apparent.
"There was never a promise of raising your grade, this was meant as an offer if you were interested. And as for what you were trying to accomplish with that," he gestured towards you, voice sounding a little strained, "it goes against not only the regulations at this insitution, but most certainly also my own moral compass."
A beat of silence turned into two as shame spread in your body. Of course he hadn't meant it like that. And how did you come up with the idea that he'd offered to raise your grade? This was awful. Maybe dropping his class would be for the better.
"With that being said, I am willing to overlook this little incident if you truly wish to understand. Leaving now won't reflect poorly on your final grades."
It took a couple of minutes of contemplation, but you decided to stay, gratefully accepting the cardigan he slid off his shoulders and handed you, pulling it around your body. He'd looked pleased when you accepted the proposition, a pleasant smile passing over his face before he went back to making sure you not only knew, but understood every part of the theories.
You'd been so relieved when you'd finished, a spring to your step as you waved and left, confirming you'd like to continue next week if he had time. He'd been so pleased by your smile that he couldn't bring himself to ask for his garment back, you'd realise in time and bring it back.
As soon as the door was closed, he was able to stand up from his desk, smile vanishing as his hands gripped the wood tightly, barely able to stifle a groan. He did feel bad for the hardness pressing against his pants, but not enough that the thought of relieving himself didn't cross his mind. It would be a long semester.
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intotherumiverse Ā· 2 months ago
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ā˜… ą«®ā‚ ā‰§ . ā‰¦ ā‚ŽįƒĀ  š‡šžššš«š­ šŸ š‡šžššš«š­ !!
įƒ¦. synopsis ; how the blue lock boys break up with you.Ā  įƒ¦. featuring ;Ā meguru b. , reo m. , itoshi sae. įƒ¦. cw ; ANGST (my specialty) įƒ¦. notes ; to be fair this has been sitting in my drafts for the better part of a year so what better way to get back into writing. Also, I'm very dramatic, take that as you will įƒ¦. reader ; gender neutral
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Meguru
It wasnā€™t fun anymore. Meguru was always a free-spirited person, someone that hated rules and regulations. You were becoming stifling, like a shirt that was slowly suffocating him to death. He couldnā€™t do it anymore. This wasnā€™t love, this was a slow death, suffocating him slowly. It was a slow knife, digging and twisting deeper into his heart.Ā 
ā€œ(Y/N). We need to talkā€ The words came out in a rush, stumbling and cracking in some places. He just wanted this to be over... right? But the look on your face said something different. It was like the life was sucked out of you, leaving you soulless. Did he cause this? He didn't like the look on your face. Your eyes were blank, your face expressionless. One of the things that he loved about you the most was the way he could always tell what you were thinking and feeling. But now? Nothing. Even how he explained how the breakup wasn't anything you did but rather himself, it was nothing... right?
A relationship was supposed to be fun! This wasn't fun anymore.
ReoĀ 
You were another person who left. I mean you were still there physically but the click wasn't. You wanted to leave, Reo could feel it. Why wouldn't you leave? Everyone else did. Everyone always leaves him, abandons him and treats him like he is nothing. So it would have been better if he had gotten to break up with you before you could do it to him. That's the reasoning he has.
"OH MY GOSH BABE YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY-" you exclaimed. Your new job at the cat cafe had so many good moments that you wanted to share with your life since you don't really see your boyfriend often. But today he seemed...off. The usual hug and kiss he gives you wasn't there and he seemed like he wanted to be anywhere else but here. "(Y/N) we need to talk." Reo's voice was low and serious.
"Sure babe, what's up"
"We need to break up."
It was like your whole world stopped. You couldn't breathe and it was like the world was trying to close in on you. You couldn't believe it.
"What." You hated how high and squeaky your voice sounded.
"I don't think I can do this anymore."
Reo thought this was the right thing to do... right? But looking at you and the unshed tear in your eyes, and the way your hands shake, he wishes that he could take every word that he said back. But he couldn't. He needed this, he needed to break up with you, he needed to end this. Before you could.
SaeĀ 
He could feel it. Every time he looked at you, the spark wasnā€™t there. It was a light, a certain halo that comes with it. But now, now? It was dim. The sun wasnā€™t shining, and the grass wasnā€™t greener. It was just there. It wasnā€™t new or exciting anymore. It was bland.Ā It was like a snow-covered forest, ice and snow closing in and freezing over the entire relationship.
"We need to break up." You say definitively. You had been thinking about it for the last month, knowing that the relationship wouldn't be able to last. It was hurting you both. The late nights, the dry texting and the dry calling. It couldn't last.
"Okay." No reaction, no shock or suprise. It was always like this. It seemed like that he truly did not care.
"Is that it? Are you not going to fight for this?" You say, anger lacing your voice.
"What do you want me to do (Y/N)? You seem like you already made up your mind and I can't do anything about that."
It was that blandness, the lack luster response that opened your eyes to how your ex is. He never cared. He would never would care about you. If you stayed it would be icy indifference for the rest of your life. So without another word to your ex, you do what you should've done ages ago.
You leave.
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ticklishshenanigansau Ā· 2 months ago
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Happy Tickletober! This year, Mod Secret has been working hard to write a comprehensive story using our list of prompts and we used a wheel to randomly assign the three of us which prompts to draw accompanying chapter art. We hope you enjoy! =3
LaughterLand - Chapter 1: Hypnosis
(story by Mod Secret, art by Mod Yosh)
"Tra la la, beware the man who speaks in hands," the River Person quietly muttered to the two skeletons from beneath their robes.
"The man who speaks in hands?" the taller skeleton began to fret. "Why is there a need to be wary? Does he not use his hands for just purposes?"
Sans sighed heavily, facing his brother with his head still cradled in his right hand leaning off the side of the riverboat.
"Bro, theyā€™re talking about our Dad ā€¦ and unfortunately there's no way to ā€˜bewareā€™ of him, ā€˜cuz that's where we're going." He rolled his eyes before gazing back into the water.
"Oh!" Papyrus laughed. "There's no need for us to ā€˜bewareā€™ of him anyways, friend." He enthusiastically tapped the River Person's shoulder with his gloved hand, making the boat driver slightly jump. "He merely wants to see us for the further pursuit of scientific discovery!"
"More like he wants to use his only family as semi-living guinea pigs." Sans couldn't help but scoff. He was getting rather tired of his practically estranged father only calling upon him and his younger brother for this kind of thing.
"Aw, cheer up Sans," Papyrus sat down next to him on the river boat, optimistic smile still beaming. "I'm sure it's not going to be as bad as the last time when heā€”"
"Practically switched my insides with a Snowdrake?" Sans abruptly cut him off. "Or the time he made you think you were a fish-monster who could actually breathe water? Or the time he tried to spray down our bones with a ā€˜heat resistance gelā€™? I'm just saying it's a good thing we booked it BEFORE he got out the flame thrower!"
"Alright, alright. I understand." Papyrus gently held up his hands to calm his brother down. "So his ideas of ā€˜quality-timeā€™ are a little ā€¦ unconventional ā€¦ at best?" Papyrus's tone of voice made Sans start to question whether he was trying to convince him or himself. Papyrus shook his head decisively. "But at least he still wants to see us, and we do excellent work in helping him to better Monster-Kind."
Sans sighed deeply, pinching the space above his nasal cavity. "Pap, the only reason G wants to see us, is because he practically blew up half of his lab assistants, and the other half were smart enough to bail before he did the same to them ā€¦ or worse. And it's not like we can say no, because he'll pull the whole ā€˜After everything I've done for youā€™ crap." He did his best imitation of his creator. "ā€˜After feeding you, clothing you, and giving you the gift of life itselfā€™." Papyrus couldn't help but snicker at Sans' nearly perfect recreation of Gaster's tone and movements.
"Call me crazy Pap, but somehow I always feel way worse coming out of the old man's place than I do going in. So this isn't exactly how I wanna spend a perfectly good Saturday when there's a bottle of ketchup back home with my name on it."
Papyrus shrugged, still trying to remain in good spirits. "You never know Sans, this time could be fun."
Sans rolled his eyes yet again, head shaking dismissively. "Yeah ā€¦ we'll see."
"Welcome to Hotland," the River Person quietly spoke up after pulling their strange-looking riverboat up to the shallow port. Papyrus excitedly hopped off, and Sans begrudgingly lumbered onto the sand before flipping the River Person a coin.
"Thanks," Sans muttered, although his inside voice finished off with, "...for nothing."
"Come again sometime. Tra la la." The River Person's boat grew cat legs and scampered off down the river in the direction of Waterfall, leaving Sans truly wishing that he had stayed on the boat.
The skeletons made their way down the route they were all too familiar with, down the path towards the huge metal laboratory in the distance. Sans couldn't help but air out his collar, sweat already starting to trickle down his neck.
"It's like this place just keeps getting hotter," he sighed.
"Well it is Hotland, Brother," Papyrus replied, his grin never faltering. "Why do you wear such a heavy sweater anyways?"
"I ā€¦ just feel more protected," Sans answered honestly, though saying it out loud made him feel a bit more self-conscious.
"Protected?" Papyrus repeated, seemingly surprised by the answer. "But you have me for protection, Brother! I can protect you far more than that smelly old thing!"
Sans chuckled, Papyrus's confidence really was endearing. "I appreciate it, Bro," Sans replied. "But when it comes to HIM, I feel like I can use all the protection I can get.ā€
They arrived at the front door, somehow Sans was never able to get used to just how much bigger it was than the two of them, as always, it made him feel so much smaller.
Well, if the door was going to make him feel this insignificant, he wasn't going to treat it with a proper knock. He raised his fist and as gently as he could, and tapped on the door with his knuckles. Papyrus was standing right there, and even he didn't hear a thing.
"Oh well, nobody's home." Sans shrugged with a half-grin making an attempt to walk away. "Can't say we didn't try, right?"
"Sans!" Papyrus responded, hands on his hips and with a tone of annoyance.
It didn't matter anyways, the brothers heard the loud creaking noise of the gigantic door beginning to open. Sans gritted his teeth. "That never works," he grumbled to himself.
They turned to see the aged skeleton standing in the doorway, his stern orange and blue eyes looking them up and down.
"Greetings, boys," Gaster spoke in his usual low tone.
"Hey, G." Sans shoved his hands into his pockets, his voice also low and unamused, not even giving him the courtesy of a glance.
"Greetings, fatherly figure!" Papyrus, on the other hand, bounced with delight and friendliness, aggressively grabbing Gaster's hand to shake it. "How nice of you to invite us into your home once again!"
No matter how many times Gaster invited them over, Papyrus always managed to surprise him with his upbeat attitude and willingness to come back. As Papyrus released his hand after giving it a thorough shake, he and Sans made their way through the door and into the lab. Papyrus's greeting leaving the scientist quite dumbfounded for what to say next.
"Right ā€¦ er ā€¦ come on then ā€¦ uh ā€¦ sonā€”uh! Sons, I mean?" he stammered.
"Alright, let's just get this over with." Sansā€™s cold tone almost immediately snapped Gaster back into his usual demeanor.
"Right!" Gaster shut the door and led the brothers downstairs to the True Lab. The place where all of the tools and past experiments were kept.
Papyrus excitedly hopped into Gaster's office chair to take it for a quick spin-around, while Sans wasted no time making his way to the coffee maker. Somehow he could already tell that this was going to be a long day.
"P-2, please do try to calm down." Gaster abruptly stopped Papyrus from spinning around in the chair, allowing the dizzy skeleton to stumble away. "I'm going to need steady attitudes for this line of testing."
"We talked about this, G," Sans replied, pouring a fresh cup of hot coffee into the styrofoam mug. "We both have names, remember?"
"Right, of course," Gaster acknowledged, turning his large blackboard towards the two of them.
"Oh, and S-1ā€”er! I mean ā€¦ Sans," he corrected himself. "No coffee for today please, this test must require zero stimulants of any kind."
"Oh great." Sans bitterly placed the untouched cup next to theĀ  coffee pot. "So what's involved for this one? The effects of sleep-deprivation?"
"Quite the opposite actually," Gaster replied, facing the scribblings on his blackboard. "For this test, I'll be putting you both into a deep trance."
"Say ā€¦ what now?" Sans blinked, surely his scientific father didn't mean what he thought he meant.
Gaster moved to show off his notes and scribbled doodles on the subject of hypnosis on the blackboard. As usual, the blending of all of his ideas and hypotheses together on one cramped space made for some confusing visuals.
"I wish to know the true strength of the power of suggestion upon the monster's mind," Gaster explained. "How far can suggestion go, and just how deep a trance can one be put in before the impossible becomes reality?"
"Hypnosis ā€¦ really?" Sans replied, both expression and tone deadpanned. "I give up a coffee break just so you can play with the metaphysical? This is weird even for you old man."
"Oh come now, Sans!" Papyrus approached his brother, still wearing a grin. "I think it'll be fun! Just think of the possibilities the two of our brains can come up with!" he suddenly gasped, eyes full of childlike wonder. "We could become convinced that we're flying! Or can shoot laserbeams out of our eyesockets! Or ā€”"
"Bro!" Sans cut him off, not wanting Papyrus to get too excited as he figured whatever Gaster had in mind for them wasn't going to be nearly as adventurous as he had hoped. "You're wasting your time anyways, G. I can't be hypnotized," he said adamantly.
Gaster knew that this was going to be a tough sell, Sans wasn't one to be convinced to be put in vulnerable situations easily. But thankfully, Gaster did have the perfect idea for just how to convince him.
"Think of it this way ā€¦ Sans," he paused momentarily to remember his name. "This will be the only time where the only thing that's required of you is to lay back and do nothing but sleep."
That did it. Gaster knew there was no way that Sans would miss an opportunity to be lazy. With a loud groan, Sans followed Gaster and his brother into the operating room. Gaster laid Sans and Papyrus next to each other on two large metal tables. Above them hung a large, oversized pendulum that began swinging back and forth once Gaster hit a button on the wall. The pendulum made a gentle ā€˜whooshā€™ sound as it passed back and forth above them.
"What, are we in a giant grandfather clock?" Sans joked, albeit still in a sarcastic tone.
"This will give you something to focus on while I slip you both into a trance."
"Oooooh!" Papyrus's gaze followed the pendulum, seemingly enchanted by it. "Isn't it exciting, Sans?" He beamed. "We're about to unravel the deep mysteries of the metaphysical mindset!"
"Rightā€¦," Sans mumbled. "Let's just hope Dear Old Dad doesn't unravel our minds."
Gaster pulled out an old-fashioned handheld tape recorder and began an audio log.
"Subjects S-1 and P-2 are ready for testing," he recorded quietly. Both are resting comfortably on the operating tables, mere inches apart from one another. The pendulum has begun swinging, and I will now proceed with the restraints." Although it was difficult to catch all of what the old skeleton was muttering, Sans could have sworn that he had caught that last word.
"Whoa whoa whoa ā€¦ ā€˜restraintsā€™? You didn't say anything aboutā€¦," Sans trailed off as he watched Gaster approach him without acknowledging what it was he had just said.
Gaster reached under the table to pull out what looked like two oversized belts. One that would cross along his upper torso, right where his elbow bent, and the other down lower across his knees. Sans despised whenever Gaster brought out these restraints, and did his best to avoid them at all cost. Gaster fastened his eldest son to the table before Sans even had a chance to protest.
"Hey!" Sans began before being strapped to the table and unable to break free. "G, I thought you were just hypnotizing us, what the hell is this for?"
"This is purely for your own safety, Sans," Gaster replied as he pulled out the straps for Papyrus. The younger skeleton never put up much of a fight, so Gaster was able to properly take his time in securing him. "Should your body obey the suggestions to move, or should anything go wrong during the experiment, you'll be safely secured to the table where you won't be able to fall off or injure yourself.
"Right ā€¦ ā€˜safetyā€™ ā€¦ sure," Sans grumbled, not entirely convinced.
"Yes! Very thoughtful of you, sir!" Papyrus chimed in, although Sans could tell that being tied up wasn't exactly Papyrus's favorite thing to do either.
Gaster sat himself down behind a metal podium that contained buttons of different shapes and sizes, all of which had been used on the brothers before with different results. Gaster, once again, pulled out his tape recorder.
"Subjects have been restrained, now proceeding with the 'Nerve-Processing Scan'." Gaster leaned into a small microphone attached to the podium that amplified his low voice so that Sans and Papyrus could hear him clearly. "Boys, you're going to see a small flash of light, just tell me how it makes you feel."
Before either of them had a chance to question, there was a sudden brightness that filled the room nearly blinding the two of them. It disappeared as quickly as it came, but all at once, the brothers felt an overwhelming tingling sensation consuming their bones.
"What?! W-What theā€”?!" Sans began to grin in spite of himself. The tingles especially affected his cheeks and moved rapidly down his ribs. He felt an overwhelming urge to laugh, but he held it back as best as he could, not wanting Gaster to hear anything. But even with all his efforts, a small snicker still escaped his teeth.
Papyrus, however, wasn't as resilient. Within moments, the younger skeleton began giggling. Light snickers at first, but as the tingles spread downwards he began kicking his legs ā€” as best he could through the restraints ā€” and squirmed on the table.
"Nyeh-hee-hee-hee-hee!! It-It tihihickles!" Papyrus scrunched up his neck in an effort to distract from the sensations.
"Hmm, good," Gaster replied through the microphone before returning back to collecting his thoughts into the tape recorder. "Let the record show that S-1 and P-2 have still retained their sense of 'sensitivity' since the last experiment."
As the tingles began to wear off, Sans looked over at Gaster worriedly. He couldn't hear what the old man was mumbling into that old-fashioned box, but he knew that light show had to be for something.
"Pap, I've got a bad feeling about this," he whispered to Papyrus, who was still trying to shake the tingles off of his toes as he seemed not to hear him.
Gaster leaned back into the microphone, his soft and low voice lightly reverberating off of the walls.
"Alright boys, I want you both to take a deep breath and relax. Please focus your eyes on the pendulum and do not remove your gaze from it."
The brothers obeyed, Sans still muttering under his breath. "You're wasting your time old man, this is beyond pointless."
Gaster continued, "I'm going to start counting backwards from ten. And with every passing number I want you to notice a deep and pleasant drowsiness start to come over you."
"Deep and pleasant drowsiness, huh?" Sans silently scoffed. "You don't need to strap me to a table to get that outta me."
"Slowly building up from your feetā€¦," Gaster continued. "Up through your legs and over your hips ā€¦ over your spines and ribcages ā€¦ spreading a deep drowsiness through your arms ā€¦ up over your shoulders ā€¦ across your faces ā€¦ feeling your eyelids start to get heavier and heavier."
"From the way you're droning on you won't need this crap to put me to sleep," Sans quietly complained.
Although, despite the absurdity of it all, a part of him couldn't help but want to feel that 'pleasant drowsiness' that Gaster kept going on about. Despite his current situation, a nap with that kind of intensity did feel like it would be a welcomed change of pace. It had been a while since he had a peaceful rest without the constant interruption of nightmares.
"Ten.ā€¦ Nine.ā€¦ Eightā€¦," Gaster slowly began. "Feeling your bodies start to drift off into sleepiness...."
Sans didn't want to believe it, and part of him surely thought that it was nothing but a trick of the mind, but he did start to feel it. A sensation, almost similar to that of a warm numbness, starting to take hold of his feet and slowly climbing up his legs and towards his waist. It was ā€¦ strangely pleasant.
"Seven.ā€¦ Six.ā€¦ Fiveā€¦," Gaster went on, his voice overtaking the room. "Slowly drifting off into a pleasant drowsiness, slipping deeper and deeper into sleep."
"This is ā€¦ so ā€¦ so ā€¦ stupidā€¦." But the more Sans tried to convince himself, the more he was starting to lose track of his words and drift off, doing exactly as Gaster was commanding him to do.
"Four.ā€¦ Three.... Twoā€¦. You feel it start to take over your body, slipping deeper and deeper into relaxation," Gaster continued. "Oneā€¦. Now your eyelids feel so unbelievably heavy, it's nearly impossible to keep them open now."
And it was. Sans couldn't keep from blinking, but every time he opened his eyes, it was harder and harder to keep them open. What was happening? He knew that if there was anywhere that he didn't feel 100% safe, it was here in his father's laboratory. And yet, it was like his body was trying too hard to convince his brain that this was the place to let it all go and sleep.
The pendulum wasn't helping much either. With every light little ā€˜whooshingā€™ sound that it made while going back and forth, it was almost forcing Sans to keep blinking, making it harder and harder for him to open his eyes back up. For a split second he glanced back over at Papyrus, but the younger skeleton was already long gone, Sans could tell by the drool starting to collect in the corner of his open mouth.
"And...."
*SNAP!*
"Sleep!"
Sansā€™s eyes shut all on their own. Within a singular moment ā€¦ within a singular snap ā€¦ he had completely surrendered full control of his body and his mind. His thoughts floated on warm fuzzy clouds of nothingness, and the deep numbness that had begun at his soles had now consumed his entire body. It was like he could feel nothing and everything all at once. But the most bizarre thing about it was that there wasn't a single drop of anxiousness, not one lingering fear, not one seed of doubt or concern. Everything was just open and free. Sans wasn't entirely sure what plane of existence he had landed on, but it was oddly relaxing.
"Take a deep breath inā€¦." As Gaster continued, he heard the deep inhale and exhale come willingly from his sons as he spoke.
"Andā€¦."
*SNAP!*
"Sleep!"
Upon hearing the command, the brothers felt themselves drifting more and more into a trance-like sleep. The world around them began to fade away piece by piece as their minds floated through space.
"As you hear the wordā€¦," Gaster snapped very sharply into the microphone again, "Sleep ā€¦ everytime you hear the wordā€¦," he snapped again, "Sleep. You feel yourselves drifting deeper and deeper into unconsciousness. Feeling 100% more relaxed and comfortable ā€¦ sleep." He snapped. "Feeling nothing but the deepest relaxation imaginable. Totally still and silent ā€¦ only able to hear and understand the words that I am speaking ā€¦ and ā€¦ sleep"
Snapping a final time, Gaster could tell that Sans and Papyrus had now fallen into a deep trance, only able to hear him, and totally susceptible to everything.
"Alright, let's begin," he spoke softly into the microphone. "I'm going to begin counting to ten, and as the numbers start to increase, you're going to start becoming fully aware of your bodies. Aware of your nerve endings ā€¦ so hyper aware and fixated on all that you can feel that you won't be able to focus on anything else."
Gaster counted upwards, using his words to point out the sensitivity of their toes, their knees, their legs, hips, ribcages, underarms, necks, and everywhere in between. He was able to barely catch the brothers start to lightly twitch in their trance. The experiment was working.
"And now that you are fully alert and aware of your nerve endings and the capabilities they hold, I want to ask you a question ā€¦ can you start to feel the soft caress of a little white feather gliding across your soles?"
Sans and Papyrus stiffened, it was so subtle that anyone who wasn't paying attention to them would have missed it entirely. But Gaster noticed immediately, and had no intention of letting it alone.
"Do you feel it start to dance back and forth? Gliding up towards your toes and back down to your heels?"
Sansā€™s toes began to curl, his face twitched like he was trying to hold back a grin. Papyrus's left foot gave a small but sudden jerk, his breathing starting to hitch and shudder.
"Does it bother you?" Gaster baited. "Is it ā€¦ ticklish?"
Sans gasped sharply while Papyrus let out a little whine through his teeth. That was it, Gaster was getting through to them with the pure power of suggestion. He went on.
"Perhaps you now feel it stopping at the bottom of your toesā€¦."
Papyrus let out a brief sigh, but Sans still seemed to be holding his breath. Gaster smiled, this was going way better than he had expected.
"No ā€¦ I don't think it's stopping, it seems to be brushing and bristling along the inside of your toes."
"Nyeh-hee-hee-hee-hee!"
Papyrus finally started to lightly giggle. Sans gritted his teeth hard, his body movements turning to brief little twitches that seemed to get sharper and more panicked. Like he was trying so desperately hard to hold back. Gaster smiled, he knew it was only a matter of time before he got through to his eldest son.
"And now you can feel the feather start to slowly weave in between your toes ā€¦ starting in between the spaces of your big and second toe, and oh-so-easily slipping and gliding down the rest of your toes as well."
"Eeeeeeeeeeheeheeheehee!!" Papyrus let out a shrill squeal of giggles, his toes curling in and out trying ā€” and failing ā€” to protect himself from the invisible feather.
"Hrrkkkk!!"
Sans's teeth pressed together so hard that it almost looked painful. Opening only to take in sharp gasps of air and try his best to steady his panicked breathing. His toes rapidly wiggled and curled inward, but no matter how hard he tried, it was more than obvious to Gaster that he was feeling the effects.
Gaster couldn't help but grin, he knew for certain that there was an undeniable way for him to finally get Sans to laugh.
"Breathing in ā€¦ as best as you can through the laughterā€¦," he continued. "You feel the feather moving faster and faster ā€¦ effortlessly gliding in between your toes. And as you feel the sensation growing stronger ā€¦ you find yourself falling 100 times more deeper into trance, and feeling yourself growing 100 times more sensitive everytimeā€¦."
"Grrrnnnnnnkkkkk...!" Sans groaned loudly, struggling harder than ever to resist Gaster's suggestion.
"I sayā€¦."
"Hnnnh...!!"
"The wordā€¦."
"Unnnghhh!!"
"...tickle."
Before Gaster had even finished pronouncing the word, the dam finally broke. Sans started laughing and convulsing his feet even harder. Just as Gaster had suggested, the sensitivity of his feet had more than doubled, and the imaginary feather's power had consumed him.
Gaster let out a small chuckle, satisfied with his progress ā€¦ yet still wanting to see just how far he could push it.
"Feeling so deeply relaxed ā€¦ and so very ā€¦ very ā€¦ ticklish."
"GAAH!! Hahahahahaha!!" Sans erupted in deep laughter, struggling harder than ever against the binds on his legs.
Papyrus wasn't far behind him, squealing and jerking his body around as if that would somehow distract him from the agonizing sensation on his toes.
"Feel the feather starting to glide up from the tops of your toes, all the way up towards your kneesā€¦.ā€ Gaster grinned through his words.
Gasping in panic, the brothers tried to kick and scrunch up their knees, almost unaware of the restraints holding them back and causing them even more panic.
"And as the feather swirls about your kneesā€¦," Gaster went on. "You start to feel 100% more ā€¦ ticklish."
"AAH! Hahahaha! N-N-Nahahaha!! Hahaha!!"
Sans's head began to rock back and forth. He strained even harder trying to contain his laughter, seeming to struggle to get out the word "No."
Papyrus, on the other hand, seemed nearly paralyzed upon hearing the dreaded ā€˜Tā€™ word. Gaster could see his legs sticking straight out as his body shook with near-silent giggling.
"Tell meā€¦," Gaster mused. "Is this all feeling particularly ā€¦ ticklish?" He dragged out the word, sounding out every letter and syllable. Making sure his test subjects heard him clearly.
Papyrus threw his head back, while Sans let out a small shriek. Both of them wracked with laughter and convulsions. While in the trance, they seemed to be completely unaware as to why their bodies weren't moving to protect themselves. Why they couldn't control or completely stop this unusual tickle attack.
Gaster observed his subjects laughing almost to tears, both fascinated and amused. He wasn't entirely sure what came over him, but something about watching the two of them being tickled just by words alone brought out a playful side to him. He grinned as he approached the microphone again.
"You now feel the feather fluttering up towards your rib cageā€¦," he teased. "Getting all of the spaces in between, and feeling oh so very, very ticklish."
Both brothers let out two hysterical shrieks. Sans desperately pulled on the restraints holding down his arms. Panic filled his every movement as he succumbed to his frenzied laughter.
Papyrus's movements were not as dramatic ā€” for a change. As he seemed to have given up on trying to force his body to move and just accepted the sensations, offering only spazzing twitches and jerks. His body rocked back and forth as he embraced the laughter, though it was difficult for Gaster to tell if he was actually starting to enjoy it or not.
Gaster found that he rather enjoyed the sound of his sons' laughter filling his laboratory. Usually his experiments were met with screams or protests from his boys. This noise brought out a subtle, yet joyful demeanor within him, despite the fact that he was drawing it out of them by force. Feeling cheeky, he decided to try just one more thing.
"Tickle, tickle, tickleā€¦," he briefly teased.
Sans's head fell backwards as a silent squeal escaped his teeth, leaving Papyrus to fill the room with insane screams of laughter. Papyrus bucked and jerked, this time making a real effort to pull at his restraints. Gaster figured that this kind of increased sensitivity had finally been too much for him.
By the time Sans finally found the strength to inhale again, his sharp breathing had caused a loud snort to fall out of his nasal cavity. Gaster put a hand to his mouth in shock, he wasn't even aware that Sans was the type of monster who snorted. It was honestly adorable.
But after a few moments, both brothers really started gasping for air, Sans let out even more snorts as his inhales were getting faster. With a sigh, Gaster at last accepted that it was time to end the experiment. He raised his pinched fingers high into the air.
"Andā€¦," he paused, taking in the sound of his sons' laughter one more time.
"Stop."
He snapped his fingers, Sans and Papyrus's bodies at last began to relax and settle down. Both of them continued to take in deep inhalations until their breath was finally caught and they laid still on the metal tables breathing normally.
"Good," Gaster said to himself before approaching the microphone again. "Take one more deep breathā€¦," he instructed, and the brothers obeyed. Once again Gaster raised his pinched fingers upwards, preparing to wake them from their trance.
"Now when I snap my fingers, you will wake and return to consciousness ā€¦ fully awake ā€¦ and fully aware of what you have just been throughā€¦."
Gaster snapped, preparing immediately to catch flack from Sans ā€¦ but it was quiet. Sans and Papyrus's eyes remained closed. Gaster looked over at them with a confused expression. Perhaps they had not heard him?
"Awake!" he called, snapping his fingers again, but still there was no response.
He held his fingers to the microphone and snapped his fingers again. The sound echoed along the walls of the lab, there was no way anybody who was in the room could have missed it, and yet the brothers did not stir from their trance.
Gaster worriedly approached his test subjects. Putting a palm to both of their nasal cavities, he determined that the both of them were still breathing. He tried snapping his fingers exceptionally close to their ear canals, no response. He shook both of the metal tables, jerking their bodies from side to side, no response. Finally he unlocked the two of them from their upper restraints. Sitting them both up one by one he proceeded to shake them around and call their names. Even calling them by their test subject names just to gauge an angry response from Sans ā€¦ nothing.
"Oh noā€¦," Gaster breathed out. "Oh, what have I done?" He hurriedly ran to his medical tools on a separate table, speaking out loud as to try and make sense of what had just happened.
"I must have let them slip too deep into trance for too long," he reasoned. "I must find a way to wake them before this gets too out of hand."
Gaster knew that just about anything he said or did to his sons in this condition could leave their mental state quite vulnerable. He knew he had to be careful, but also knew that he just had to find a way to wake them up, and soon!
***
"Pap...?" Sans's eyes blinked several times, he rubbed his sockets wearily. "Papyrus?" he called again. His voice seemed to echo off into a far distance. He was in some sort of strange space where nothing seemed to exist ā€¦ nothing but white.
Once his eyes adjusted to the strange lighting, he looked around, hopeful to find something or someone that was familiar.
"Papyrus!" he called out, once again hearing the faint echo of his own voice. "Papyrus! Can you hear me?" Nothing but white ā€¦ white sky, white ground, white space. This world was strange, he just knew he needed to find answers, just as fast as he needed to find his brother.
"S-Sans?"
Sans's soul jumped in his ribcage. He looked around frantically until he spotted Papyrus stumbling towards him from a few yards away.
"Bro!"
Sans sighed with relief, meeting his brother halfway. Papyrus quickly embraced his older brother by picking him up and hugging him tightly. Normally, Sans wasn't a big fan of being picked up, but he was grateful to have some form of normalcy return to him.
"Sans ā€¦ uhm ā€¦ where are we?" Papyrus asked after putting him down. "What is this place?"
"I ā€¦ have no idea." Sans once again resumed looking around, his gaze met with nothing but white. "I don't even remember how we got here ā€¦ do you?"
Papyrus shook his head.
"I ā€¦ think I remember Gaster ā€¦ and...." Papyrus thought hard. "Something about a ā€¦ feather ā€¦ maybe?"
"Crazy old man and his experiments," Sans groaned. "Did he send us to another dimension again?"
"Oh, nonsense brother!" Papyrus insisted. "After the mess that happened last time, I don't think he'd chance that again."
"Okay, so then where are we?" Sans put his hands in his pockets, grateful at least to have his brother here, but still feeling wary.
A small breeze started to flow into the space, making the brothers freeze from the sudden movement change. But what really began to set their fears in motion was when that breeze suddenly brought in the sound of high pitched giggling.
The brothers gasped, moving closer towards each other. The giggling was gone just as fast as it came, leaving the two of them feeling anxious.
"S-Sans?" Papyrus nervously broke the silence. "Did you hear that?"
"I ā€¦ think so?" Sans wasn't quite sure what to think. When it came to taking part in Gaster's experiments, he knew that anything could happen.
The breeze suddenly brought in even more giggling, making the two skeletons jump.
"Sans ā€¦ was that you making that sound?" Papyrus asked hopefully,
"Bro, do I sound like my voice can go that high?"
True, these giggles didn't sound like they came from any monster the two of them had encountered. These voices were high and squeaky, they were the sound of young children's giggling. The brothers jumped with surprise as the giggling became words.
"Oooh! Lookit what we have here!"
"Two skeletons! They sure do look strange!"
It was a young boy and a young girl's voice. Sans and Papyrus fearfully looked around, but again, there was nothing but white.
"Who's there?" Sans boldly called. "Who are you?"
"I bet they're really fun to play with!" answered the young boy.
"Are they going to be our new friends?" the young girl asked enthusiastically.
"One way to find out!" the boy replied.
"Friends?" Sans asked suspiciously.
"They sound friendly enough, I think." Papyrus whispered back to his brother.
But then the girl replied with a statement that sent a shiver down their spines....
"Hmm ā€¦ I wonder if they're ticklish."
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