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quintessenceofdust88 · 7 days ago

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Life is Changin' Tides, ch. 4 🌊

[Ch. 1]

[Ch. 2]

[Ch. 3]

[Read on AO3]

Sal is exactly where Tommy left him; sitting up on the bed, a pained look on his face as he frantically looks around. "The second he spots Tommy and Vivie, his face is taken over with relief, and Tommy can see how desperately he wishes to get up, but he doesn't. He just grips the sheets, staring at them intensely, his face going from anxious to relieved.

"Vivie!" He exclaims, and Tommy's daughter raises her head so fast that he worries she’ll have whiplash."

Everyone reunites. There's a lot of apologizing. There's a little bit of oversharing (it's the painkiller's fault).

When Tommy wished for a guardian angel watching over Genevieve, he didn’t think the universe would take him so literally. Because this man, this Evan? With earnest big blue eyes, blond curls, a pink birthmark that looks almost like a heart against his eyebrow? Yeah, that’s an angel he’s looking at.

He doesn’t have much of a chance to look at him, though, because as soon as Tommy thanks him, the man promptly passes out in front of them.

“Buck!” Captain Nash exclaims in surprise, and extends his arms to support him. His eyes are furrowed in concern, and both Hen and Howie are also fussing over Evan. Tommy has never seen this man before, but it’s clear they all know and care about him.

Thankfully there’s an empty bed close, and Nash lays Evan in it with surprising gentleness, in a way that vaguely reminds Tommy of when he puts Vivie to bed. And speaking of which.

Tommy finally manages to stop hugging Genevieve for long enough that he can take a good look at her. Her beautiful yellow dress, a present from his Nonna, is filthy, covered in grime and dirt (thankfully no blood); her hair is matted and frizzy, escaping out of the pigtails Tommy’s done for her this morning, and she looks pale and exhausted. She’s still the most beautiful sight Tommy has ever laid his eyes upon, and he can’t get enough of looking at her.

“Vivie, oh my God, I was so worried!” He admits, placing a thousand kisses to her wet hair, her sweaty forehead, her flushed cheeks. “Are you okay, baby? Does anything hurt?” Tommy asks gently, checking her face and arms for bruises or cuts, but thankfully, probably thanks to this Evan angel, his baby girl looks perfectly unharmed.

“I’m fine, Daddy! But what happened to Mr. Evan?! Is he gonna be okay?!” She asks agitatedly, her arms firmly wrapped around Tommy’s neck. Her blue eyes are looking scaredly at Evan’s unconscious form, and Tommy rubs her back soothingly. Her grip around his neck tightens, seeking comfort that Tommy is more than happy to provide.

Howie, who looks a thousand times less worried once Hen hooks Evan up to a saline IV and it looks like he’ll be alright, rushes to them when he hears Vivie’s question. He smiles sweetly at her, and she smiles a little back at him.

“Hey, kiddo, don’t you worry about Buck, okay?” He tells her. “If I tell you a secret, do you promise not to tell him? Cause I don’t want his head getting too big.”

That gets a small giggle out of her, and Tommy would hug Howard if he didn’t have an armful of Genevieve. She nods eagerly, and looks curiously at the other man. Frankly, so does Tommy.

“Well, that guy?” He says, pointing at Evan, who still hasn’t woken up, but he’s lying peacefully now, his cheeks starting to get some flush in them. (God, he’s handsome, a treacherous part of Tommy’s brain says, and he promptly tells it to shut up). “Toughest guy I know. He survived a lot of crazy stuff, and he’ll be just fine, I promise.”

“For real?” She asks, and Howie nods as if he’s complete sure of himself.

“Totally for real.” He says, and winks at her. “He’s a survivor, just like your dad Tommy here.”

Tommy feels his cheeks flush, and he smiles gratefully at Howard. Vivie looks between them, curiosity clear in her face.

“You know my Daddy?! How?!” She asks in wonder, and Howie and Tommy smile at each other, but Howie points his hand at him, giving Tommy the chance to explain it to his kid.

“Actually, Vivie, mr. Howard here saved Daddy’s life once, can you believe it? Way before you were born.” He explains, and Vivie gasps.

“So mr. Howard is a hero too?!” She asks, notably impressed, and Howie shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck.

He’s saved from having to answer, though, because there is a man coming towards them with a boy, a bit older than Vivie, secure in his arms. The boy is looking at Evan, with eyes full of worry, and so is the man. With a jolt, Tommy recognizes him as the paramedic that was taking care of Sal earlier.

“Chim!”, the medic exclaims, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He looks at Evan, who’s fidgeting slightly, but still has his eyes closed, and then back at Howie. “Is Buck alright?!”

“Will Buck be okay?!” The boy asks at the same time, his voice breaking as he sniffles.

His red hoodie is as dirty as Vivie’s clothes, and Tommy realizes he was probably caught in the tsunami too. He wonders briefly if the kid is Evan’s son, but then realizes he probably wouldn’t call him by a nickname if that was the case.

“Hey, Christopher, Buck will be fine, I promise.” Bobby is the one to answer, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “He’s just a little tired right now. But you can sit by his side until he wakes up, what do you think?”

“Can I, dad?” Christopher asks, and the medic that’s holding him nods, then puts him down by Evan’s bed. He takes Evan’s hand in his, gently squeezing it. Hen gently takes the pair of glasses that are hanging from Buck’s neck and places them on the boy’s face, and he smiles at her.

The familiarity between them makes Tommy realize that his father, the medic that took care of Sal, is with the 118, and the coincidence leaves him speechless. What brings him back to reality is the small tug on his shirt, and as he looks at Vivie, he realizes she’s asking him to put her down. Tommy does, and she goes straight to Christopher with a small smile.

“You’re Christopher, right?” She asks, and the boy nods at her, a frown on his face. “Mr. Evan was worried that you’d be mad at him because he lost you. But you’re not, right?”

“No!” Christopher exclaims, as if the mere idea of being mad at Evan is absurd. “He was trying to help people, it wasn’t his fault!”

“I told him that!” Vivie exclaims triumphantly. “I said he was a hero, and that you wouldn’t be mad.”

“How do you know Buck?” Christopher asks her curiously.

“He saved me! When I got lost from…” She trails off, and her little blue eyes widen as if she’s just remembered something important. Vivie turns back to Tommy, and he sees in alarm that she’s on the verge of tears. “Daddy!”

“What, pixie? What’s the matter?” Tommy asks hurriedly, picking her up again and holding her close, but it’s no good, she’s still agitated, clutching his shirt in her tiny hand.

“Uncle Sal got hurt! We need to find him! I was s-so happy to see you that I forgot, but we need to find him! Mr. Evan was going to help me, but now he can’t, and I don’t want uncle Sal to get more hurt!” She sobs against his shoulder, and Tommy shushes her, rubbing circles on her back and bouncing her slightly.

“Baby, it’s alright, shh.” He whispers to her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I found uncle Sal.”

She looks up at him, her sobs subsiding and her eyes widened in surprise.

“You did?!”

“Well, not me, but someone did and brought him here. But I’ve seen him, and he’s okay, I promise.” Tommy reassures her, and Vivie sobs once more, but it’s filled with relief this time.

“Daddy, do you promise? Can I see him?!” She asks, and Tommy nods right away.

“Of course you can, pixie. He’ll be so happy to see you.” He promises, and then turns to Howard, who’s been watching them with a fond smile. Tommy shifts Vivie so he can hold her with one arm and extends his hand for him. “Howie. Thank you so much. To all of you. I wouldn’t have found her if I hadn’t run into you” He says, looking at Captain Nash, Hen and the medic whose name he still doesn’t know.

“We’re just glad everything turned out okay, Tommy.” Captain Nash says warmly, and Tommy smiles at him.

Then, he looks at Evan’s still unconscious form on the bed, and back at the captain. He desperately wants to thank the man properly, but he knows Vivie won’t be settled until she sees Sal, and he knows his best friend is probably beside himself, wondering what’s happening to Tommy and her. Nash, however, seems to understand Tommy’s struggle, and nods at Tommy.

“Go. We’ll wait.” He reassures him, and Tommy nods gratefully at him.

“We’ll be back.” Tommy promises, and then he is gone, heading towards his best friend, his daughter safely in his arms thanks to the angel he’s leaving behind.

Buck doesn’t wake up all at once. Consciousness comes in small waves; at first he’s only aware of the sounds around him, the low murmur of familiar voices that allow him to come back slowly and steadily. Then, he becomes aware of the throbbing pain on his leg, which is stretched out. That’s how he realizes he’s lying down on scratchy sheets that feel very hospital-like (and yes, he wishes he wasn’t that familiar with what hospital sheets feel like). But as the events of the day come back to his memory, a sense of urgency forces him to full conscience, and his eyes open with a rush.

“Christopher! Genevieve!” Buck exclaims, and only when he tries to sit up on the bed does he feel the tug of a small warm hand against his.

“About time you woke up” Christopher says, and Buck looks at him with tear-filled eyes.

The young boy has his glasses back, and that signature smile that never fails to make Buck happy as well. He can’t understand why he’s still on the receiving end of it after everything that happened, though, or why Eddie is allowing Chris to be near him in the first place.

“Chris,” Buck says, sitting up on the bed, and taking Chris’ other hand in his. Because if this is the last time he’ll be allowed to be around him, he’s going to make it count. “Listen, buddy. I am so so sorry. I should have kept you safe, and I didn’t, and I…”

“Yeah, you did.” Chris argues, looking earnestly in Buck’s eyes, and he feels absolutely vulnerable under his gaze. “You kept me safe from the first wave, and you had me safe in the truck.”

“Yeah! But then I lost you!” He says, worried that Christopher is not understanding how bad Buck screwed up.

“Well, yeah, but you looked for me. A lot. Vivie told me. And she told me you thought I’d be mad, but I’m not. You’re still my favorite grown-up, Buck.”

Chris’ words and the way he’s looking back at Buck, like he’s still a hero, like Buck didn’t fail him, are too much. Buck blinks, trying to keep the tears at bay, but he can’t; the day has been too rough. Chris, however, seems to sense Buck’s emotions are getting the best of him; he wraps his small arms around Buck’s waist, resting his head against Buck’s chest. Buck hugs him back, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his curls.

“Thank you, bud. I’m so glad you’re safe.” He whispers, and Chris just hums at him.

“‘Favorite grown-up’, huh? I’m kinda jealous, gotta admit.”

When Buck hears Eddie’s voice, he lets go of Chris and looks up at his best friend, bracing himself for the anger in his eyes. But Eddie is smiling playfully at them, his posture relaxed. As Buck looks around, he faintly notices Hen and Bobby hovering near him, but he can’t talk to them before he apologizes to Eddie; that has to be his priority.

“Eddie! I am so sorry, man, I can’t even begin to…”

“Then don’t.” Eddie says softly, placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder and squeezing it. “Don’t even begin, because you have nothing to apologize for. He’s here, and he’s safe, and that’s all that matters, alright?”

Buck can’t take Eddie’s forgiveness yet, not entirely anyway. There’s still too much guilt pooling on his chest, so he decides to focus on something else.

“And Genevieve? Where is she?” He asks, looking around and not seeing either Genevieve or her father. He tries not to be disappointed by the fact they’re gone; he’d have liked to say goodbye.

“Tommy took her to see her uncle Sal, but they’ll be back.” Bobby tells him, and Buck looks at him in surprise at the amount of information in that short sentence.

“You know her dad’s name?!” It’s the first thing he registers, and then the rest of Bobby’s sentence sinks in. “Wait, you found her uncle?! Is he okay? Is he alive?!”

“Calm down before you pass out again, please.” Bobby asks calmly, and then he sits at Buck’s side, his eyes alternating between Buck and the IV still hooked up to his arm. The captain looks weary and relieved at the same time. “As it turns out, the little girl you were helping is the daughter of a former 118 guy, Tommy Kinard. He’s a pilot at Harbor station now. And Sal, her uncle, is his best friend. He used to work with us too, a long time ago. He’s hurt his head pretty bad, but he’s alright”

“Oh thank God. She was so worried.” Buck says, relaxing back against the pillow. Eddie has taken Chris and they are sitting on a stool next to his bed, cuddling together in silence. That fills Buck with relief, and he sighs, closing his eyes for a bit.

He’s still exhausted, and the dull throbbing in his leg is intensifying into stabs of sharp pain. Buck forced his body to the limit, and now he’s paying the price, but he can’t regret it. Not when Chris and Vivie are reunited with their dads.

Before he can voice his discomfort, though, he sees Chimney jogging towards them. He smiles when he sees Buck is awake, and promptly shoves a water bottle and a cereal bar into his hands.

“Welcome to the land of the living, Buckaroo.” He says, patting his shoulder gently. “Eat something, or Maddie will kill us both.”

“Thanks, Chim” He says hoarsely, sitting up on the bed..

Buck eagerly opens the bottle first, taking a big sip and sighing as it eases the pain on his sore throat. As he takes a small bite of the cereal bar, easing his hunger and thirst, his leg decides it’s done waiting for attention. The pain intensifies, and Buck can’t help but flinch a movement that is quickly caught by Hen’s sharp gaze.

“Alright, Buckaroo, finish your snack so we can get some painkillers into your system.” She asks, and Buck, who’d usually stubbornly reject the idea of using painkillers, especially the strong ones that help his leg, just nods meekly; he’s in too much pain. “And then I think you should take it very easy the next few days. It wasn’t your fault, but you pushed yourself way too hard today.”

“Hen’s right, kid.” Bobby adds gently. “Once the painkillers kick in, we’ll take you home, and then you can get some rest, ok?”

Getting some rest sounds wonderful in Buck’s opinion, and he nods at them both, his mouth too occupied with chewing. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until now.

“Not so fast, Cap.” Chim quips, and inexplicably smirks at Buck. “He can’t go anywhere before Tommy and Vivie come back and he gets to play the hero.”

Buck blushes at that, but he can’t help a small smile from coming to his lips at knowing Genevieve and her father are coming back. And, with a small leap in his heart, he thinks that his giddiness isn’t entirely about Vivie.

But he’s wise enough to keep that thought to himself.

Tommy crosses the field hospital with quick strides, Vivie's small frame a comforting weight in his arms. As they walk around, he notices that things are calming down; there are fewer people around, the doctors and nurses don't seem to be rushing so much, and the overall chaos is more controlled.

Things are settling down, as they usually do after a big tragedy, and Tommy privately thinks they’ll only see how bad it was on the next day. He sends a silent thought for all the people who didn’t have the luck he did, of finding the loved ones they lost to the waves.

Sal is exactly where Tommy left him; sitting up on the bed, a pained look on his face as he frantically looks around. The second he spots Tommy and Vivie, his face is taken over with relief, and Tommy can see how desperately he wishes to get up, but he doesn't. He just grips the sheets, staring at them intensely, his face going from anxious to relieved.

"Vivie!" He exclaims, and Tommy's daughter raises her head so fast that he worries she’ll have whiplash.

The minute she sees Sal, she gasps loudly, and her little hand curls up in Tommy’s shirt, gripping it tightly. Vivie’s staring at Sal as if he isn’t real, as if she’s trying to convince herself that he is.

"UNCLE SAL!" Genevieve's exclamation can be heard through the whole hospital, and she tugs insistently at Tommy's shirt. "Daddy, daddy, put me down, please!", she begs, and Tommy is more than happy to abide.

The second her feet hit the floor, she's rushing to Sal's bed, climbing up on it as fast as her little legs allow. Sal wraps his arms around her, pulling Genevieve to his lap and holding her close. Her arms wrap around his neck, and they hug each other tightly. Tommy can see the tension leaving Sal’s shoulders as he wraps his daughter in his strong arms, and his own heartbeat seems to finally settle as he sees them together.

“Vivie, oh my God! I was so worried, kiddo, so worried!” Sal says, his voice thick with emotion like Tommy’s never seen before.

“Me too, uncle Sal!” Vivie says, and then she looks at him, her eyes filled with tears. “Cause you got really hurt, and then I didn’t see you anymore, and I was so afraid!”

It’s clear that all the events of the day are finally catching up to Genevieve, and she lets out a broken sob, her whole body shaking with it. Tommy’s first instinct is to jump in and get her in his arms so he can comfort her, but he holds back. That’s not what Vivie needs; she needs reassurance from the uncle she almost lost, not from him. And he trusts Sal to do it.

“Hey, hey, shh” Sal soothes her gently. “I’m here, you don’t have to be afraid, kiddo.”

He picks Vivie up, sitting her on his lap, pressing her head against his chest. She clutches his filthy Ramones T-shirt in her tiny fist, and Sal runs one massive hand in her hair, messing it up even further. They’ll wash and braid it again when he puts her to bed, which will happen about a thousand hours later than it should, but he couldn’t care less.

“It was scary…” She admits, her voice a tiny whisper, and Tommy’s heart breaks for her.

Genevieve has always been his brave little girl; the only fear she’s ever had was the dark. Tommy has been able to protect her from that, putting a night light in her bedroom, letting her sleep with him when it gets too bad. But will he be able to protect her from this? From the fear of water, fear of the sea, from the nightmares that she’ll get from this? He doesn’t know, and the thought scares him.

“I know, kiddo.” Sal tells her, bringing Tommy back to the present. “It was scary to me too.”

“I r-really thought I wouldn’t see you anymore, uncle Sal.” She tells him, and Sal exchanges a helpless look with Tommy.

Neither of them wanted her to learn what losing someone feels like, and Tommy would have given anything for his daughter not to have this experience. But it’s happened, and now all they can do is reassure her that everything turned out okay in the end.

Sal takes a deep sigh, and then presses a long kiss to Vivie’s forehead. Tommy can see his eyes are filled with tears, but he does his best to swallow them and smile at the little girl on his lap. “What, and leave all the fun of watching you grow up to your boring dad? No way, kiddo.”

Genevieve lets out a watery giggle at that, looking from Sal to Tommy. “Daddy, uncle Sal said you’re boring!” She gasps, and Tommy smiles wryly, coming closer to them.

“I heard it, baby. Maybe we should let Uncle Sal go home on foot, then? He won’t want a ride with someone this boring after all.”

“Nah, I’ll take it the ride. Even if you’re boring, Vivie is cool.” Sal teases, Sal teases, which makes Vivie giggle in delight and Tommy smack his shoulder (a lot more lightly than he normally would). Then, his expression turns serious, and he looks earnestly at his best friend.

“Tommy. I am sorry, man. I am so sorry.” He says, and Tommy can see he’s about to cry again. Without a word, he wraps his arms firmly around Sal, Vivie caught between them, and hugs his best friend tightly.

“I know. You don’t have to be. What matters to me is that you’re both okay.” Tommy says, and he means every word. Sal pats his back and nods at him when Tommy finishes the hug.

He sits by the edge of Sal’s bed, and Vivie scrambles from Sal’s lap to his, cuddling up against his chest. Her body is heavy against his, exhaustion catching up to her. He holds her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“How are you feeling, man?” Tommy asks, and Sal smirks at him.

“Like I’ve been hit in the head by debris.” He quips, and Tommy glares at him until he shrugs. “Look, I think I’ll be worse in the morning. They gave me good stuff for the pain, so I won’t feel it for real until tomorrow.”

“Yeah, well, it’d make me a hell lot more comfortable if you spent the night with us. I don’t want you going home alone.” Tommy says, and Sal rolls his eyes, poking Vivie’s arm.

“Your dad is such a mother hen, isn’t he?” He teases, and the little girl giggles. Tommy loves that sound more than anything in the world. “But okay, I think a sleepover sounds fun.”

“Sleepover!” Vivie celebrates, making Tommy and Sal chuckle. Then Sal frowns, as if he remembered something, and a sad expression takes over his face.

“Aw, kiddo, and I still owe you a unicorn, don’t I? Can’t believe we went through all that trouble and you didn’t get him in the end.”

Vivie gasps at that, kneeling on the bed and covering her mouth with her tiny hands. She looks from Tommy to Sal and then to the floor, her eyes widening.

“No, uncle Sal, but I did get him! I protected Marsh, but I forgot him with Mr. Evan! Daddy, we have to go back to your firefighter friends and get him back!”

“We will, baby. Daddy wants to thank mr. Evan anyway.” Tommy reassures her, and Sal frowns at him.

“Mr. Evan? ‘Firefighter friends’? The hell she is talking about, Tommy?” He asks, and Tommy refrains himself from scolding him for saying ‘hell’ in front of Vivie, because she doesn’t seem to pay much attention.

Tommy smirks, already anticipating Sal’s reaction to knowing it was Nash’s team that got Tommy to Vivie. “So, you’re never gonna believe this…”

After telling the whole story to Sal and telling him to stay put until Tommy comes for him (‘What, you think I wanna get up and go give Nash a hug and a cupcake? I’m better off here, thanks’), Tommy takes Vivie back to where the 118 was gathered around Evan’s bed.

Sal, who’s much better at keeping up with LAFD gossip than Tommy, has already informed him that Evan is the firefighter who got caught under the ladder truck a few months ago, and that only makes Tommy admire the man even more. He can only imagine how painful it must have been, walking around with a kid all day with his leg still recovering from such a trauma.

When they get there, they’re greeted by the sound of laughter, and the bed is surrounded by Nash, Howie and Hen. The medic - Eddie, according to Sal - is sitting on a stool, with his kid asleep against his chest. They’re all looking at Evan with exasperated fondness and soft smiles.

Evan himself is leaning against the pillow, his leg stretched out in front of him. His cheeks are flushed, and he doesn’t look as exhausted anymore, but his blue eyes are hazy and his smile is a little loopy. Even so, Tommy can’t help but notice he is absolutely gorgeous, and that his earlier comparison to an angel was not too out there; Evan has positively cherubic features, and the fact that he has his arms wrapped around an unicorn plushie only adds to his charm.

“Marsh!” Vivie exclaims the minute she spots the plushie, and everyone turns to them.

Tommy smiles at them in greeting as Vivie tugs on his T-shirt to let her down. Tommy does, and she rushes to Evan’s bed, stopping herself before climbing in it and looking at him shyly. Evan, however, smiles at her, bright and welcoming, and Tommy’s heart skips a treacherous beat. Get a grip, Kinard, you can’t lose it just because he is kind to your kid. He’s probably straight anyway, he tells himself firmly, but his eyes are still taking in the charming scene unfolding in front of him.

“C’mere, Vivie.” Evan says, and it’s the first time Tommy’s hearing his voice. It’s warm, and cheery, even though his speech is a little slurred, probably from everything that happened.

He pats the mattress next to him, and Genevieve doesn’t need to be told twice. She climbs up on the bed, and Evan offers the unicorn to her. “Your friend was missing you, you know?”, he tells her with a lovely smile.

“You kept him safe for me, Mr. Evan! Thank you!” She says in wonder, hugging the plushie close to her chest. Then, she looks at Evan, and puts the plushie aside, kneeling on the bed and wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek against his flushed one. “And thank you for keeping me safe. You made things not so scary, and you helped me find Uncle Sal.”

It’s clear the heartfelt thanks from the five-year-old takes Evan off-guard, and he’s slow on his reaction. Still, he wraps his arms around her, closing his eyes in delight, gently stroking her hair.

“You’re quite welcome, baby. Having you with me made things not so scary too, so thank you. For helping me to get here.”

The others are all watching the scene with a mix of fondness and amusement. Tommy himself could forever stand there and watch this ridiculously adorable man interact with his kid, but he can’t; he has his own thanks to give. He approaches the bed slowly, and both Vivie and Evan look up at him. His daughter promptly holds the unicorn up so Tommy can see it. It’s wet, and filthy, but he guesses it’s still sort of cute.

“Look, Daddy, this is Marsh! Uncle Sal got him for me!” She tells him excitedly, and Tommy chuckles, bending down to kiss her forehead.

“Marsh looks like a great addition to your plushie friends, baby. He’ll probably look even better after we give him a bath.” He muses, and Vivie giggles, going back to stroke the plushie’s fur gently.

What surprises Tommy, though, and apparently everyone else, is that Evan giggles right along. Tommy refuses to acknowledge how adorable it is to see this 6-foot-2 man giggling along with his five-year-old.

“Isn’t that funny, though? A unicorn taking a bath? It should be a glitter bath at least.” He says, and then laughs at his own joke. His friends are looking at him in amusement, and Hen crosses her arms, smirking.

“I guess the painkillers are kicking in, huh, Buckaroo?” She says fondly, and Evan tries to handwave her, but the gesture is a tad bit clumsy.

“M’fine!” He exclaims, and then he runs a hand on Vivie’s plushie, looking at it in wonder. “Oh my God, he is so soft! Eddie, have you ever seen a softer plushie?”

Eddie snickers, and so does Chimney. Bobby is staring at Evan with a mixture of exasperation and fondness. And Tommy? Tommy is trying very hard not to melt from the sheer cuteness.

“Tommy, if you have anything to say to him, I think you should say it now, before we completely lose him.” Chim recommends with a chuckle, and Tommy startles. He does have something to say.

He turns to Evan, and the man has a loopy smile on his face, looking at Tommy with hazy eyes filled with something that he can’t quite define, but it makes Tommy blush furiously. He fidgets with the hem of his shirt, and forces himself to look the man in the eye.

“Mr. Evan”, he starts, and the man frowns, as if something isn’t quite right about that greeting.

“No mister. You can call me...” He trails off, as if he’s looking for the right word, and then he smiles at Tommy as if he’s had the brightest idea ever. “Evan! Yeah! You can totally call me Evan.”

“Evan, then. I’m Tommy. Tommy Kinard.” He says, offering a hand, and Evan shakes it.

His hand is warm against Tommy’s, even if his handshake is a little wobbly. The moment they touch, Tommy feels as if a spark of electricity rushes through him, as cliché as that sounds. Evan must feel it too, because he looks up at Tommy with raised eyebrows.

“I know, Bobby said. I’m your re… re… Ah, it’s a big word, but I entered the 118 when you left. Small world, huh?” He says, with a tiny frown between his eyebrows as if he’s trying to make sense of it, and Tommy has an irrational urge to kiss it away. He doesn’t, but it’s a near thing.

“Very.” Tommy agrees, and then he sits down by Evan’s side. Even if he’s not entirely aware of what’s going on, Tommy needs to thank him. “Evan, I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did. Vivie is my life, and you saved her. There are no words to express how grateful I am.”

Evan seems to take a while to process his words, but then he shrugs modestly. He looks down at Vivie and tries for a wink, but it comes off as more of a sleepy blink. Tommy’s daughter giggles anyway, holding Marsh close to her chest.

“Ah, you don’t have to thank me, you know?” He slurs. “I did what everyone would do.”

“No, you didn’t.You did way more. You kept her safe, and you protected her, and you brought her to find her uncle.” Tommy tells him firmly, taking his hand in his and squeezing it. He tries to ignore the goosebumps it brings to his arms. “I owe you a debt that can never be repaid. But if there is anything I can do for you, ever, you just have to say the word.”

Evan nods, but stays silent. His hand is still wrapped around Tommy’s, and he looks down at them for a moment. Then he looks back at Tommy, his blue eyes determined.

“I mean, you could ask me out!” He exclaims, and everyone turns at him, eyes widened, including Tommy. He’s so surprised he doesn’t remember to separate their hands.

“I… I could… W-what?” Tommy asks, sputtering and feeling a blush covering his cheeks and all the way down to his neck (nice going, you idiot). It doesn’t help that half his former team is watching it with smirks on their faces.

“You could ask me out!” Evan repeats it, his brows furrowing as if he can’t quite understand what’s giving Tommy pause. “You’re ridiculously gorgeous, you know that? I’d say yes if you asked me out.”

Tommy is left completely speechless and wishing that the floor would swallow him whole. Captain Nash is looking at Evan with that same fatherly exasperation of before, and Eddie and Howie are shaking with silent laughter. Not even Vivie helps; the minute Evan says he’s gorgeous, her daughter starts giggling uncontrollably, looking between them with way too much amusement. Hen is the only one who seems to take pity on the two of them, because she puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“Alright, Buckaroo, that’s enough out of you! Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”

“Can’t sleep, Hen, I’m going out with the hot pilot. Weren’t you paying attention?” He grumbles, but as Hen helps him lay back, he closes his eyes, resting back against the pillow with a soft sigh.

Tommy is flustered, and shocked, and impossibly endeared. He wants to ask Evan out, he wants to do it now, but he won’t hold a man accountable for things he said under heavy painkillers.

“Daddy, are you going out with mr. Evan?” Vivie asks, and Tommy, if possible, blushes even more. He takes one more look at Evan’s face, eyes closed and a small smile still playing on his lips, and he desperately wishes to tell her that yes, he will.

“I… No, baby. Mr. Evan didn’t really mean it, he’s just sleepy. It’s like when you say silly things in your sleep, remember?” He tells her, and she nods, but looks absolutely disappointed. “Besides, we have to pick up uncle Sal and go home, don’t we? It’s way past your bedtime. Say goodbye to everyone and let’s go.”

She does as she’s told, sparing a hug for everyone and making Eddie promise she and Chris will have a playdate soon (Tommy actually likes the idea; Vivie has plenty of friends, but she could always do with more). He agrees to set it up and says his own goodbyes, shaking everyone’s hands. When it comes to Chimney’s turn, though, he smirks at Tommy and slips a paper into his pocket.

“Here’s Buck’s number and address. You know, just in case you wanna check if he meant it or was just being silly.” He says with a knowing smirk, and Tommy looks at him in surprise. Howie shrugs, and then goes back to talking to Hen.

And Tommy should throw the paper away, he really should. Evan is probably straight; Tommy has a daughter and hasn’t really dated in years. Everything tells him this is not a good idea.

He folds it carefully in his pocket anyway.

Tag list:

@bidisasterevankinard @unhingedangstaddict @silversky9 @music-is-the-voice-of-the-soul @asmugfirefighter

@typicalopposite @littlepaws9 @aplaceinme @rubydaiquiri @racerchix21

@dearqueend @laundryandtaxesworld @buckleyskinards @actuallyitsellie

@agentpeggycartering @chaoticdisasterbi

@deelovesbooks @teabroomsandbooks

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #gabby writes #life is Changin' tides #life is changin' tides ch. 4 #tsunami fic #hurt/comfort #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #sal deluca

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harmless-variety-of-garden-snake · 13 days ago

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pls, kind sir (gn), tell me all about your "peru leave au" 👀👀👀

Okay, so the timeline is fucked here because Tommy would've been in his early 30s and already in LA when Buck is in Peru. Instead, he's a little younger (29? 28?), joined the Army after college because it was that or he had to live with his dad again and that wasn't an option. Since he doesn't have a lot back home to visit while he's on leave, he goes on a trip with a few of the guys he's serving with, because one of them has family in Peru. Trying to figure the timeline has been a mess (DADT hasn't been repealed so it's 2010 but Buck would've been like 19 then instead but he's 21 here), I got distracted by other stuff, I have no idea when to reunite them, etc. But it'll get finished eventually I hope, because the whole idea is based around me wanting bb Tommy to fall for bb Buck and I'd rewatched Romancing the Stone with my sister right before I started this. I posted a snippet here from when they meet but here's a bit from when they have to say goodbye:

They crawl into bed together, and they look at each other and kiss and Evan tells him about the places he wishes he’d had time to take Tommy to, and Tommy tells him it’s okay, that he would’ve been happy if he’d never left their room.

“‘Our’ room?” Evan teases, but Tommy can see his smile in the dark.

“You know what I mean,” Tommy says lamely.

Evan kisses him again, his lips slack. It’s perfect.

“I don’t want to leave,” Tommy confesses.

“This isn’t it,” Evan says, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles under Tommy’s ear, the rest of his fingers curled around the side of his neck. “I’m not a romantic like you–”

“That’s a lie.”

“—but this feels like it has to be more than just one week, right?” Evan says, and Tommy hesitates before nodding. “So no matter what, the universe will get it right, even if we fuck it up somehow.”

Tommy almost says it, he can feel it like they’re physically in his throat trying to get out.

“I fell for you too hard for it to just be one week,” Evan says, and Tommy closes to scant space between them to kiss him, his eyes stinging.

When he pulls back, he takes Evan’s hand and presses it against his heart, and Evan nods. He knows, he knows.

Tommy doesn’t remember falling asleep.

–

Evan is sleeping when he gets up, but he wakes up just as Tommy is pulling on his clothes. He smiles at Tommy before shooting to his feet.

“Oh, no,” he says, a mournful, puppy-eyed sadness overtaking his beautiful face.

“Yeah,” Tommy says, his voice barely above a whisper. He has a lump in his throat, and his chest hurts, and his stomach is tying itself in knots.

“Wait,” Evan says, wiping a hand over one of his eyes. “Hold on.”

He digs through the top drawer of his dresser, which is half socks and underwear and half odds and ends. He doesn’t have any real storage in the small room. When he grabs a pen and a postcard, he writes down a Peruvian phone number and presses it to Tommy’s chest.

“I don’t know if I’ll have service for a while,” Tommy warns him.

“I don’t care,” Evan says, shaking his head. “Just–I know. I know that there’s so much about this that freaks you out, and it freaks me out, too. But I can’t ignore this, and I don’t think you can either.”

Tommy can’t answer without crying, so he just shakes his head. He takes the postcard and lifts Evan’s hand to his lips and kisses each of his knuckles carefully. When he’s done, he pulls Evan into his arms and kisses him. It feels like the kind of kiss that you see just before the credits roll or just before the screen cuts out and comes back to a wedding or some other kind of happily ever after. The only difference is that he can taste salt on Evan’s lips, and he feels like his chest has been blown open with a grenade.

#bucktommy #my wip

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babygirl-diaz · 9 months ago

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Can't stop thinking about an omega tommy being lonely all those years thinking maybe he's just too unloveable to be mated and not good enough because he doesn't have the typical omega physique that every alpha want in an omega and that until he met Evan😌

Oh my god, anon, now I can't stop thinking about it either. My hand slipped and I wrote it as a fic 😅

Also a special thanks to @sarastars for also giving me the ideas for this fic!

Also, sorry for making Tommy so out of character.

***

Tommy knew he would never find an alpha. He wasn't built like a typical omega. In fact, he was reminded of that every day at the 118 firehouse.

"Hey, Tommy!"

Tommy sighed, stopped loading the dishwasher, and got up. "Yeah, Deluca?"

"Bet you're used to bending, huh?" Deluca teased and made crude thrusting motions with his hips, but then he stopped and pouted at him. "Oh wait, you don't have anyone to bend for! How sad is that?" And then Deluca and his pals were laughing while high-fiving each other.

Tommy gritted his teeth and walked away without saying a word. He just wanted to leave this place. Go somewhere where he is actually respected.

"Don't let them get to you."

Tommy looked up from where he was sitting on the bench outside and saw Hen giving him a sympathetic look.

"They treat you worse and you're an alpha," Tommy pointed out and moved to make space for Hen.

"Yeah, that's true," Hen agreed and sat down. "They just want people to fit in a certain mold and when they don't-"

"-they make their lives a living hell," Tommy finished her sentence for her. "Do you ever wish you could work somewhere else?"

"I don't think it's any better anywhere else," Hen shrugged.

"I am more optimistic and think there is someplace out there where no matter who you are, you are treated right," Tommy replied.

***

"Hey, handsome."

Someone greeted Tommy and he looked up from his drink to see a beautiful brunette with gray eyes standing next to him giving him a flirtatious look.

He was currently having drinks at the bar with his teammates and to have a beautiful woman's attention on him in front of them flustered him.

"Do you mind if we talk in private? Away from your friends?" The woman asked biting her bottom lip. "I bet an alpha like you could show me a good time."

Laughter suddenly rang through the table, making Tommy cringe.

"Sweetheart, if you're looking for alpha then he ain't it," one of his teammates, Andy, told the woman.

The woman looked confused for a second before her eyes widened. "Ew! You're an omega?"

Tommy felt his heart shatter in a million pieces.

"You look so deceptive. Maybe stop taking steroids to make yourself look like an alpha," the woman huffed and walked away.

And then Tommy was left with his laughing teammates.

"She really thought you were an alpha!" Deluca teased.

"Yeah, maybe stop taking steroids, Tommy," another teammate, Gary, teased him as well and laughed.

Tommy wanted the Earth to swallow him whole but he had no such luck.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and saw Howard giving him a sympathetic look.

***

When Tommy could finally transfer to the 217, he felt like he could breathe. The 217 were a lot better. There were a few who teased him but it wasn't as bad as it was in the 118.

But then, years down the line, he was forced to transfer back to the 118. It wasn't his choice, but their firehouse ironically caught fire and the place had to be shut down, with everyone transferred to different stations. Since Tommy had a history there, they transferred him back to the 118.

Things had changed at the 118, though. Many of the alphas that he worked with were gone but Deluca was still there, much to Tommy's chagrin.

There were a few fresh faces there but one in particular piqued Tommy's interest: Evan Buckley.

Evan was a young, cocky guy, who seemed like he was a bit of an asshole but Tommy kind of dug that. Evan mostly stayed to himself but sometimes Tommy found him giving him looks he couldn't quite decipher.

But then something happened one day that made Tommy realize Evan wasn't any better either.

Tommy was about to go home and he had parked his car next to Evan's jeep. So when Evan approached him, Tommy thought nothing of it. That is until Evan cornered Tommy against his car.

"Hey, whoa, I don't want any trouble, okay?" The words left Tommy's mouth before he could stop himself. He was always so used to being defensive.

Evan smirked and said, "You're so hot, Tommy. I've been admiring you from day one."

Tommy frowned when he heard that. So Evan was even more cruel than the others. At least they didn't play with his feelings.

Evan pressed Tommy further against his car and Tommy felt his heart racing. "You're such a pretty omega. So fucking breedable." Evan's breath ghosted next to Tommy's ear, making him shiver. "Can't believe you're not already taken but maybe that's because you were waiting for me."

Tommy felt like crying. He hated being toyed with like this. "Please stop."

"Why?" Evan whispered breathlessly in his ear.

Instead of answering Tommy pushed Evan away and got into the car and left.

***

Tommy knew he was close to his next heat. But it was a few days away so he went to work anyway.

Before work, as he changed his clothes in the locker room, he felt a presence behind him.

"Hey, Tommy." It was Deluca.

Tommy sighed, put on his shirt, and turned around to face him. "Yeah, Deluca?"

There was something different about Deluca today. He had a small smile, and his features were soft. "Listen, I just- I wanted to apologize for treating you like trash for all these years."

Tommy was taken aback by that. "Uh what?"

"Yeah, but I was mean to you for a reason," Deluca said rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I have feelings for you."

Tommy thought he heard wrong. Because there is no way Deluca of all people just admitted that he had feelings for him. "What?"

Deluca stepped closer to him. "I've had feelings for you for the longest time. But I was in a relationship. I couldn't do anything about it so I treated you horribly instead."

Tommy's heart started racing. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Deluca took a few more steps towards Tommy, trapping him against the lockers. He reached out to touch Tommy's cheek, who flinched at the gesture.

"You're so beautiful," Deluca continued to say.

The omega in Tommy was giving in to the touch. He couldn't help the whimper he let out.

Deluca put one hand on Tommy's waist and leaned in to bury his face in Tommy's neck.

Tommy's heart threatened to burst out of his chest. "W-what about your wife?"

"We're separated," Deluca replied and kissed Tommy's scent gland.

Tommy suddenly felt warm all over and slick started running down his thighs.

"Shit, you're in a heat," Deluca said and squeezed Tommy's waist.

Shit, having an alpha so close sent him into a premature heat.

"Sal," Tommy whispered when Deluca nuzzled his neck.

And then Deluca started laughing. He pulled away from Tommy and let out a full belly laugh. "Oh my god, that- I can't believe I held out for so long- I should get a damn Oscar."

Tommy stood there stunned as he watched the other man in confusion. But deep down he knew what was going on.

"I sent you in a premature heat with all that bullshit!" Deluca laughed even louder. "Jesus, Tommy, you're so pathetic." He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and made a disgusted face. "Gross, I actually kissed your neck."

Tommy felt his eyes fill with tears but he refused to cry in front of this bastard and he looked away.

"Aw, are you gonna cry now, little baby?" Deluca teased. "You're so desperate that you were gonna spread your legs for me and beg me to fuck you, weren't you? God, Tommy, can you be any more of a slu- "

Before Deluca could finish his sentence, someone grabbed him and slammed him into the lockers next to Tommy.

Evan snarled and his eyes flashed gold. "You fucking asshole!" He growled and slammed Deluca against the lockers again.

"Evan stop!" Tommy said weakly. He couldn't focus on anything. The alpha pheromones from Evan were too strong and the omega in Tommy was whining for the alpha despite Tommy's protests.

Evan immediately stopped. "You mess with him again and I will end you, Deluca," he warned Sal and let him go, immediately coming to Tommy's side.

"Tommy, you okay?" Evan asked him worriedly and touched his shoulder.

"Oh, you two deserve each other. The broken omega and the broken alpha!" Deluca spat out.

Tommy ignored him and instead focused on Evan's touch which made him whimper.

"What's going on here?"

Tommy heard the captain's voice and gulped.

"Buck attacked me!" Deluca complained.

"And I'll do it again if you treat Tommy like shit!" Evan growled.

"Tommy, are you okay?" Bobby asked him gently.

"No, I'm in a heat," Tommy whimpered again.

"Yeah, thanks to that asshole!" Evan pointed at Deluca. "He was messing around with Tommy and sent him into a heat."

"Is that true?" Bobby asked Tommy.

Tommy could barely speak. He was sweating profusely and slicking up. So instead, he just nodded.

"He's a lying who-"

Bobby glared at Deluca and flashed his eyes at him before he could finish his thought. "You're suspended. I want you out of my firehouse right now."

"Are you serious?! You're suspending me for that omega bitch?" Deluca growled and got up in Bobby's face.

"You want that to turn into a termination?" Bobby asked.

"Well, fuck this firehouse, and fuck you. Your house of misfits won't last long," Deluca kept on going.

"I'll take that as a yes. Take your stuff and get out. Right. Now," Bobby angrily told him.

Deluca huffed and left. Once he was gone, Tommy felt like he could breathe again. "Th- thank you," he said to Bobby. He couldn't think. Evan's proximity and his scent were too overpowering.

"I'm taking him home," Evan said taking Tommy's hand.

"I can't let you do that, Buck," Bobby got in Evan's way before Evan could pull him along.

"Bobby-"

"Buck, you are not Tommy's alpha and he is not in the right frame of mind to give you consent right now," Bobby told him.

"I am capable of consenting and I want Evan," Tommy replied. He hated being treated like he wasn't even there.

"You heard Tommy, Bobby," Evan told the other alpha and pulled Tommy along, taking him to his jeep.

Once they were inside, Evan put a hand on Tommy's cheek and pulled him close but kissed his forehead. "I know what you said back there, but I want you to consent to this when you're not in a heat," Evan said pressing their foreheads together. "Do you have toys at home?"

Tommy felt his cheeks heat up at that. "Y-yeah," he replied.

"Good. So we're gonna go back to yours. I'm gonna help you build your nest and then I'll stick around while you do your thing. Is that okay?" Evan gently stroked his cheek with his thumb.

"You- you can help me if you want. Like I told Bobby, I am capable of consenting," Tommy whispered and closed his eyes.

"I know, babyboy," Evan kissed his forehead again. "But until yesterday, you didn't even like me." He smirked.

"That was yesterday," Tommy replied. "This is today."

Evan let out a breathy laugh and kissed Tommy's eyelids. "Come on, let's get you home. You wanna give me your address?"

Tommy put his address in Evan's phone and Evan held his hand as he drove them back to Tommy's place.

Once there, Evan helped Tommy build his nest. Tommy directed him to where the additional comforters and pillows were and Evan came back with them and set them up on the bed. He finally took off his hoodie and gave it to Tommy.

"You might need this," Evan told him.

Tommy took the hoodie and took in Evan's smell. "Thank you," he said. "For everything."

Evan leaned in and kissed Tommy's cheek. "I'm right outside. If you need anything, just call me."

"And what if I just need you?" Tommy asked.

Evan chuckled at that. "You're gonna be fine," he told him and pulled away.

Tommy immediately missed his touch and whined. "Alpha, come on. I know you want me. So just take me."

Evan clicked his tongue and shook his head. "That's just your heat talking, babyboy."

Tommy huffed and climbed into his nest. "Do you wanna at least cuddle with me?"

"I don't think I'll be able to stop myself, if I touched you right now, babyboy. I can smell your slick and I can feel the heat radiating off your body," Evan told him.

"Then don't stop yourself. Do what you want to me," Tommy insisted.

"No," Evan replied resolutely.

"Do you not want me because I'm not your typical omega?" Tommy asked sadly.

"What's that even supposed to mean?" Evan asked. "You're a beautiful fucking omega whom I want to knock up so bad."

"You're lying. You want a pretty. dainty omega. Not someone like me."

" I don't know if you're trying to reverse psychology me but I can see myself mating with you, Tommy. I want to mate with you. But just not today. I want us to talk when you're not in a heat and then I want to make you mine."

Tommy felt a smile play across his lips and nodded. "Okay," he said.

"Okay," Evan replied and kissed Tommy's forehead one more time before leaving, letting the door stay slightly ajar.

Tommy took off his clothes but pulled on Evan's hoodie. He took out his purple dildo from the side drawer and lay back, circling his hole with it. He slowly pushed it inside and moaned. "Evan."

He slipped his hand under the hoodie and played with his nipples with his other hand while he started fucking himself with the dildo. "Evan, Evan, Evan," a litany of his coworker's name escaped his lips. He was loud enough that he knew Evan could hear him outside. "Please, Evan. Knock me up. Need your baby in me," he groaned as he started fucking himself faster with the dildo.

He imagined Evan on top of him, penetrating him over and over again, making him scream. Tommy stopped playing with his nipple and wrapped his other hand around his cock. He stroked it only a few times, imagining Evan's hand on it before coming, loudly screaming out Evan's name. He lazily fucked himself with the dildo as he came down from the high. If Evan would not fuck him, then Tommy wasn't about to make it easy on him.

#tommy kinard #evan buckley #sal deluca #bobby nash #hen wilson #911 abc #911 fic #911 fanfiction #bucktommy #kinley #tevan #omegaverse #ask

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livelaughlou · 7 months ago

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Another prompt for @desert--moonchild. I decided to use the little snippet I posted a couple of weeks ago about Buck and Tommy being girl dads because I couldn't make it fit into the other ideas I have going right now. I guess you could say I repurposed it lol. I kind of twisted the prompt a little, but I really hope you like it, Moon.

49: Caring for them when they are ill

The picture comes in at 11:45 PM and Tommy thanks God that they're not on a call right now. He leans back on the couch at the station and opens the text. When he sees it, he is really glad Lucy isn't around to give him a hard time because he melts at the sight of his husband and their one-year-old daughter.

Evan has squished his face in next to Alex's, cheek to cheek. Evan's smile is bright and only Tommy would be able to see the tiredness in his husband's eyes. They're both exhausted these days, but loving every second of it. Alex has a finger in her mouth, a gummy smile on her little face, her few teeth visible and Tommy wishes he were home with them, his little family. He and Evan have worked out a complicated, convoluted schedule for being home with her in between their shifts. With the help of their friends and family, it's worked out so far, but it's times like these that he misses them so much that his heart hurts, especially now, when Alex has been fighting a cold for the last couple of days.

Uh oh. He types. Cold keeping her up?

It only takes a second for Evan to text back Sure is. We're both so tired but apparently, sleep is for the weak, Dad.

Dad. He's a dad. He has a husband and he's a dad. He still can't believe it sometimes. But right now he mostly feels guilty, because Evan's home alone with their sick baby and Tommy is stuck at work for at least a couple more hours. Looking around to make sure no one is nearby again, he clicks the 'video' button and waits for Evan to accept the call.

When he does, Tommy's breath actually catches. Even exhausted and sick, his husband and daughter are the most beautiful beings he's ever seen.

"Hi, baby," Evan says with a soft smile. "Miss us?"

"Always," Tommy answers sincerely. "Are you guys okay? Maybe I can beg off for these last couple of hours."

"We're okay," Evan assures him. "I promise. Eddie actually just left. I haven't been by myself these last 10 hours. You know our friends would never dare to do such a thing."

Tommy laughs. "If you're sure."

"I am." Evan lifts Alex's little hand and waves it. "Hi, Dad! We love you!"

Tommy shakes his head and wills his eyes not to tear up. "I love you guys too. Get some rest okay? Do you need anything? I can stop at the 24-hour place by the house?"

"Just you," Evan says, smile sweet and sincere. "Be safe."

"I will."

***

Tommy manages to get home on time, luckily. When he walks in the door, the glow of the TV illuminates the dark house. He toes off his shoes and hangs his bag up before making his way to the living room to see Evan sitting on the couch, legs propped on the coffee table, Alex asleep on his chest.

"Hey, handsome," Evan whispers. "Welcome home."

Tommy leans down to press a kiss to Evan's mouth before kissing the top of Alex's head. She doesn't feel warm anymore, thank goodness.

"Fever finally broke about an hour ago," Evan confirms. "She is still a little congested, but it's a lot better than it was this morning."

"Good," Tommy says, sitting next to them. "Have you slept?"

"No," he admits. "Eddie watched her for me and demanded I nap, but...I just couldn't. I didn't want to leave her."

"I know, sweetheart," Tommy says. He reaches for the baby and Evan gives her up with a soft kiss to her forehead. Alex barely stirs, as though she recognizes her other dad has her, so she's safe, as she rests her face in the crook of Tommy's neck.

"Go take a shower," he insists. "Get ready for bed. You need sleep."

"You just want some cuddles for yourself," Evan says fondly.

"Of course I do." He does, desperately. First: baby, then: husband.

Evan laughs. "Yes, boss." But he doesn't get off the couch right away. Instead, he whispers, "Tommy?"

"Yeah?"

He runs a finger down Alex's back. "I love our life."

Tommy smiles at him. "Me too, Evan. Me too."

#911 #bucktommy #fic #my fic

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gaytommykinard · 3 months ago

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gotta say that i disagree that nobody fights for buck. in s5 taylor said it best: buck's life is full of meaningful relationships, actually. every person of the firefam would fight for and support buck. he is and will never be alone again in his life, especially during the hard times (which they reiterated in 8x05). meanwhile, we see thus being contrasted with tommy not having any kind if support system like that. the same seemed to be the case for taylor. i know people want tommy to fight for this, and i agree that i definitely need him to check his trauma and fears to work this out with buck. but buck is the main character that has had seasons of alleged development. he died and came back, got clarity, was supposed to finally feel good in his own skin, worked out his childhood trauma with his parents in therapy, formed a support system, now discovered he is bisexual and felt free with it. and now tommy is the only one who should grovel? i get the idea but. evan buckley is the character we have seen grow and learn. i want him to put in the work as well. look at how he fought for his job when he thought he would lose it forever. THAT is what i need from him rn. if he is just giving this up with a shrug, then i don't want bucktommy in canon. we have seen tommy taking care of buck and supporting him in all his shenanigans. i need to see that buck is absolutely serious about this and ready to fight for it. if he doesn't, he still hasn't found his true love or still doesn't know what he wants in life. i am bored by this. we have been here multiple times already. do something else with evan buckley finally or just allow him to be a bachelor forever.

okay yes buck has meaningful platonic and familial relationships.

no romantic partner has fought for him. abby ghosted him because of her own issues even though she's a fucking grown ass woman, ali got a reality check and broke up with him when he was in recovery after nearly dying, which okay, fair enough. and while i believe taylor did nothing wrong in reporting the jonah story, the narrative wants us to think she prioritised her work, and she did betray buck's trust which, again, buck wanted to protect his firehouse (which is his family) so he wasn't being objective. reporters exposing scandals within govt orgs that are supposed to protect the public is not a bad thing, actually. the only time he's broken up with someone first is natalia and we were told it's because she was obsessed with his died-and-came-back experience.

and listen. i love tommy more than anything. but buck is still the main character. we're going to see buck going through the breakup, not tommy. we're not going to get much about tommy's past. we're not going to get any scenes with tommy and another character if buck isn't also there. you remember karen going to chimney and them day drinking together because they thought hen was being unfaithful (again)? i wish we could see tommy and chimney talking about their buckleys. but the way the show got rid of all minor characters and consistently treats LIs as nothing more than LIs... i'm not hopeful. we'll get one scene with tommy's Explanation and i'm not even hopeful it's gonna be well written (but i'm sure lou will be serving. god. they wrote such a shitty break up scene and he fucking ATE.)

yeah, buck fucked up by jumping the gun and asking tommy to move in with him when he couldn't even say the i love you, and i hope this will be addressed in future eps. but tommy immediately ended the relationship because he Knows Better and left buck heartbroken. this is what happened on the show. the average viewer isn't doing ten layers of analysis to understand tommy's perspective, nor should they have to. i love the metas, i'm digging into tommy's headspace in my next fix it fic, but this is still the dumb weewoo show.

i don't think tommy needs to grovel, i don't think he's the Bad Guy in this story, i have a lot of empathy for tommy and so does the GA! they're not mad at tommy, they want him back! they want bucktommy back! and i want them both to fight for each other, to apologise and admit to their fuck ups and admit how much they care about each other and that they want to be each other's forever love! i want them to say i love you!

but buck is still the protagonist in this story and i don't want to see him running back to someone who broke up with him in such a way that had him asking "wait, did you just break up with me?" because again, this is what happened on our screens. i want tommy making the first move, opening the door for reconciliation, showing that he knows he made a mistake out of fear from his past trauma, for buck to then know he is wanted, that tommy came back for him, and then put in the effort to fight for them.

hope this makes sense. and as always, for people reading this - this is not the space for you to bash on buck's previous LIs, please take it elsewhere.

#asks #Anonymous #bucktommy #as someone who's been in buck's shoes #you don't know how meaningful it is when someone comes back for you #its only happened once in my life and even though we ended up falling out again i will always remember her as the one friend who came back #yeah yeah i'm too attached to buck because we are the same person. leave me alone lmao

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deadkraker · 3 months ago

Text

CW: child abuse, manipulation and self harm (christ, this is a heavy one)

I think Hope by Roar, Aaron Burke, Evan Bisbee and JEF Wright is such a exile arc ctommy song

LIKE LISTEN;

'Do I need a reason to wake up lonely all the time? I don't wanna see you, but I don't know where to hide' the exile by default isolates Tommy from almost all human interaction, but still, he doesn't want to (at least at the start) see cdream, but because he's so isolated there's no way to really hide away from him.

'some mistakes should not be made, like opening your heart' I personally like to think this as what tommy took away from ctubbo's speech when he exiled tommy. essentially 'do not open yourself up to people, it will end in pain.'

'if your heart's upon your sleeve, then amputate the arm' would be continuation of the betrayal he feels because of that and how he doesn't wish to get close to people or be vulnerable with them anymore after what tubbo did to him. also just self destructive.

'swim in circles, water fills your lungs' the drowning symbolism(I know its not the original meaning btw) and how it is very similar to in-canon ctommy waking up drowning every day during exile, also the 'swimming in circles' symbolising how he is essentially stuck in logstedshire.

'and why should anyone else offer their help? just look at the way you never took care of yourself' is very very similar to the mindset dream instilled upon tommy during this time, why would anyone else care about you since you're such a nuisance?

'I'll be numb, but I'll be free' how tommy gradually starts to decline and just accept the treatment dream is putting him through and how he probably dealt with quite a lot by dissociating.

'my friends will keep me honest' this line is repeated multiple times and sounds almost like a chant, like tommy convincing himself that what dream is doing is for the greater good, having to constantly convince himself if this fact because the reality of the situation is just too much to handle.

'you won't mean a thing to me, now that's what I call progress' this is a very bitter line and I think it's tommy thinking of tubbo and how little he seemingly cares about him [read: the discs] so he basically goes 'no yeah I don't care either! fuck you!' but a lot of that resentment is actually from the way dream treats him, the 'progress' can be tied back to how dream is 'teaching and fixing' tommy, he doesn't hate tubbo, not really, but its easier to direct that hate towards someone you haven't seen in a while and parted on bad terms than the only person who keeps you company and shows you 'kindness' at the moment.

'is this what you mean when you say that you're making it easier?' is another jab at dream, how what he's doing is making tommy miserable and not actually fixing anything like he insists it is.

'now you want your feelings back, now that you're an actor' ..I'll be honest I know I can somehow fit this in but at this very moment I'm coming up with blank. I'll come back to it.

'your monologue was such a mess, a reprehensible pretense' how tommy kept lying to himself about his own well being and just, a lot of other things and how he ultimately knows it.

'guilt's a modus operandi' a reflection of how guilty tommy constantly felt during exile, mostly due to dream blaming him for pretty much everything, and how that was part of the reason he was so desperate to please dream, because if he says I'm good then that will make me feel better right? by the end he holds dreams praise to an insane importance because of how starved of affection he is.

'you thought that hope was so profound' him beating himself up for believing in hope and hating how naive he was.

'what if true love doesn't wait, for everyone to come around?' his new mindset, that basically is just 'not everyone gets an happy ending or the love they want' and how he is one of those people.

the 'everyone will come around' repeats again and again, it could be taken as a hopeful prayer that maybe someone will help him, or a resignation that no one will, I think it's a little bit of both.

honestly, I have so many songs that I link back to ctommy. I know a lot of what I said here isn't the original meanings of the lyrics, but I find it fun to twist the words in a way that fits his narrative while still retaining the main vibe of the song. Hope is originally about the loss of a loved one, and the grief that comes with it and how the protagonist of the song chooses to run away from it. which i do think still fits Tommy, his only other friend during exile was quite literally the ghost of his brother, someone who he at times treated like their alive counterpart. ghostbur and tommy in themselves are honestly a whole can of worms filled with grief and not being able to let go of a loved one but that will be for another post bc this one is already so fucking long. I hope this was even a little decent lol.

#dsmp #ctommy #dsmpblr #c not cc #text #text post #ctubbo #cdream #song lyrics #ghostbur #wss dni #tw child abuse #cw abuse #cw manipulation

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angelynmoon · 5 months ago

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Eddie starts writing Buck letters after Frank suggests it in Therapy, it makes some things easier, but harder too.

Dear Evan, (Eddie isn't sure why he chooses to write Evan rather than Buck, not yet, but it fits better, reminds him that this is important, that it needs to catch Buck's attention.)

I know you'll never read this, because I'm never going to send it. I need to apologise, maybe someday I'll do it out loud, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry I said you were exhausting, you're not, youxre fun and I know you'll be there, you're a safe place, not just for Chris, but for me too.

It made it easy to say that, because I knew you wouldn't stay mad, and I'm so sorry, you're not the one that's exhausting, I am, I know I amn I don't know how you and Chris put up with me but I'm so very thankful you do.

I don't know what I'd do without you, Buck, so thank you for having my back.

(Eddie doesn't sign the letters, not a single one of them, Buck knows his handwriting well enough, and since Eddie will never send the letters it doesn't matter. The letters go in a shoebox, like the one he keeps Shannon's letters in, like the one he keeps the pictures of Chris and the 118s celebrations in but this one is just for Buck, it's where Eddie tucked his happy little heart drawing to keep it safe.

Eddie doesn't think anything of it as the box fills up with more and more letters, each one baring his heart and soul more openly with each one. It helps, itxs everything he knows he can never say, can never change and it gets easier with each sealed envelope to keep from ruining what he and Buck have.

Admitting he loved her had ruined his friendship with Shannon, his father always told him thag men don't say that to each other the one time he said it to him and so Eddie hasn't said those words to either of his parents in years, but he tells Chrisn he can't help it because he needs Chris to know, needs him to know that Eddie will always love him, even when his kid doesn't love him.

Eddie doesn't blame Chris for that, Eddie doesn't much like himself most days either.

On those days Eddie writes to Buck.)

Dear Evan,

I'm glad you felt safe enough to tell me about Tommy, that you knew I'd support you. It really doesn't change anything for us, but, dear God, I wish it did, I wish I could tell you, wish it was that simple to say, that I felt safe enough to tell you.

That's not your fault, though, don't even think it is, it's me, me and my stupid brain telling me that I can't ruin the best thing I ever had by telling him I love him and have for a while.

(And oh, that felt good, felt like a weight lifting off his shoulders. Eddie stared down at the words he'd written and smiled, just a little.)

I love you, Evan Buckley. (It still felt good, felt right, felt like the world wouldn't implode because he'd chance the words.)

I love you, Evan, I think I have since I realized you went under a firetruck to drag me to safety.

You asked me what I remembered about getting shot and I... I lied to you, Buckn I lied because I remember everything about that moment.

I remember seeing the blood splatter on your face and thinking that they could take my life as long as they spared yours, not just for Chris' sake but for mine too. I couldn't bare to watch you die, that three minutes and seventeen seconds felt like the longest moments of my life, it felt like I couldn't breathe, like a panic atteck but ten times worse and I knew that was what the rest of my life would feel like if you never woke up.

Is that love? If it is I don't understand why so many people want it. How can they go searching for something and give someone else the power to destroy them so thoroughly.

I didn't feel like that with Shannon, I loved her, yes, but I don't think it was the right kind of love, not the one she wanted, that she needed in order to stay, not the way I love you.

It's why I won't ever tell you, you wouldn't want to hurt me, not like that but saying something would change everything, it did with Shannon and I couldn't bare the thought of us changing.

You're happy, you're in love, Tommy's... he makes you happy, that's enough, that's what matters.

It's okay, Buck, I love you and it's okay you don't love me too.

(Eddie seals the letter, pens the date and slots it in it's place in the box, it's getting full, he might need to get a bigger box, but that's a problem for future Eddie, present Eddie has to get ready for work and prepare himself for Buck to gush about whatever date Tommy took him on over the weekend.

It should feel wrong, Eddie should feel jealous about Buck and Tommy because he was in love with Buck himself, but he didn't feel it, hadn't really felt much of anything since his parents took Chris back to Texas.

Chris hadn't called, Eddie understood, at least Chris was calling Buck, that was good, at least Eddie knew his son was okay, Buck had given his parents a list of stuff to follow for Chris, and they were adhearing to it according to the updates Abuela was giving him.

His parents hadn't called to check in with him either, Eddie tried not to let that sting too.

Eddie sighed, he was so tired, the house was so quiet that he couldn't sleep, he kept waking up and running to Chris' room, several times he'd had to stop himself halfway through dialing 9-1-1 to report his son missing.

He didn't know how to fix this, didn't know if it could be fixed and that hurt, it hurt almost as mucb as the fact that Chris had called his grandparents instead of talking to Eddie, instead of trusting him.

But Eddie had to try, he had to find a way to fix it.

But he was so tired of always being the one to fix things, why couldn't someone else fix it?

Why did it have to be him, because it seemed that no matter how much he tried he only seemed to make things worse.

Eddie shook his head and got up, he had to get to work, he couldn't be late, not when Buck would be so excited to tell him about his date, it was good that Buck was so happy, maybe it could rub off a little on Eddie, at least until he got home to his empty house.)

Dear Evan,

If you're reading this, then I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I won't be able to watch your back anymore.

I know you'll take care of Chris, I never once doubted that over the years, you love him like he's yours and he has been, for longer than either of us realized.

I..., I miss him, I miss you, I know neither of you are gone, but it feels like it, you both feel so very far away from men and you only seem to get further the more I hold on.

I'm sorry for being so needy, well it feels like I'm being needy.

I love you, Evan, and this isn't a goodbye, it's a see you later, much, much later.

It's a just in case letter, I write a new one every now and again, because tomorrow is never promised, not for you, not for me.

There's one for Chris too, and a couple for each milestone I might miss, I know you'll give them to him, they're in his memory box.

I hope, I hope you find happiness, that you find someone you can trust your whole heart to.

I'm sorry I was never brave enough to trust you with mine.

You love so easily, Evan, and you are so easy to love.

Falling in love with you, even when it hurt so much to realize it, was the best thing I have ever done after raising Chris.

It was so easy.

Thank you for letting me love you, even if I was never brave enough to tell you.

I'm sorry, I love you.

Thank you, Evan Buckley, for being so easy to love.

Goodbye.

A/n: did I kill Eddie? I don't know, Is Buck reading these letters after Eddie dies? Don't know that either. Am I going to add on to this? We'll see.

I'm sorry for the sad hours but this demanded to be written.

I need feedback, I started chapter 2 from Buck's pov but I'm trying to figure out whether this progresses to Tommy/Bucky/Eddie or if Tommy always knew there was an expiration date on his relationship with Buck, either way I'm going to try not to have character bashing... except Gerrard.

#9-1-1 #fanfic #unrequited love #letters #potential Buddie #tommy/buck mentioned

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avintagekiss24 · 4 years ago

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Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point.

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

#asks #answered #sebastian stan

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