#but to put a positive on it i’m still so proud and grateful to all of us who came together and put all that effort

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

I'm kinda in awe of how fast this ks has moved but also feeling extra sad that we had to raise basically this amount between fewer ppl for tcb

It’s truly not even surprising to me I 100% expected this to happen it’s just INCREDIBLY frustrating to know TCB could have been funded in a day instead of a month long struggle if people just branched out a bit and gave them the same recognition that they deserve

[twice-inamillion]

The Company 

Eaten Bunny

Smut (Defloration, first-time sex, deep penetration, orgasm, creampie, belly bulging, whining, rough sex, ass spanking, sex filming)

Chapter 14

1642 Words 

(Nayeon offers her body to the CEO after saving her and her mother. As a grateful CEO, you take her offer and use her body, not realizing it is also Nayeon’s first time.)

You can't help but grin at your work; Nayeon is an utter mess. She randomly twitches from her last orgasm and is out of breath from the stimulation. 

“Please, no more. My body hurts.”

“We're just getting started.”

She tries to lift her head and says, “What? It's not done yet?”

“Of course not; this was just an appetizer.”

Nayeon, with no energy, crashes back onto the couch and rethinks her offer.

Suddenly, she yells as you pick her up and carry her towards one of the rooms. “Wait, what are you doing?”

“The main event, obviously.”

“Wait, now?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me rest a bit.”

Nayeon stares at the wall, trying to muster up some energy as she tries to get over her last orgasm. 

You're excited to fuck another girl, especially Nayeon. You remember the positive reviews she has gotten from many of the trainers, and getting a chance to fuck her this easily is a blessing.

You take off all your clothes and walk towards Nayeon who is laying on the bed, “Ready?”

She struggles to lift her head but does so with the little energy she has, “Wait, please.” You spread her legs open enough to get a full view of her swollen cunt.

With your cock in your right, you drop it on top of Nayeon's cunt and rub it against her lips. “Dang Nayeon, you have some nice tender lips.” You realize you won't need lube by how wet she is and coat your member with her nectar. 

Nayeon watches as you press your cock in between her swollen lips, her heart begins to beat faster and faster as she realizes what's going to occur.

”You said you want to show your appreciation to me, right?” as you grab nayeon by her chin. She nods, “Yeah, I do.”

”Then show it to me.”

You climb on the bed and rest your body against the pillows. Nayeon notices your smug look and understands what you want her to do. She musters up the energy and climbs on top of you. She grabs your semi-limp cock with her large hands and begins to slowly stroke your cock. 

Little by little, your cock wakes up from its nap and stands strong and proud, really to put in some work. Nayeon realizes that it might be too big for her to handle, but she knows she can’t go back, not after what you did for her and her mother. 

She lifts herself up and hovers just a few millimeters away from your length. She looks directly into your eyes as she lowers her body into your cock. 

You watch her reaction change as she splits herself open and tries to adjust herself to the first few inches when her hand splits, causing her to fall onto your cock in one go. 

Nayeon screams in pain, her eyes watery as she takes your whole length. She tries to pull herself out, agonizing in pain, and sees your cock covered in a thin coat of blood. “Ahh, it hurts!”

You see Nayeon panic, squirming around, not knowing what to do. You grab her hand and say, “Nayeon, it’s okay. Look at me; it's going to be okay.”

Nayeon, who is still in pain, nods and grips onto your hand tightly. “I didn’t know you were a virgin. Thank you for giving your first time to me, now I’ll take it from here” and flip her over. 

Now, in a mating press, you slowly begin to thrust inside of her newly deflowered cunt, trying to mold it into your shape. She holds your hand tightly and looks into each other’s eyes, “Oppa, it… it hurts so much. I can’t do it, I’m going to break.”

” It will only hurt for a bit longer; just bear it, okay?”

“Okay, I trust you.”

With your free remaining hand, you pull her in closer and increase the strength of your thrust. You try to get her adjusted to your length as quickly as possible, even if it means her suffering for a bit longer. 

“Oppa, you’re breaking me; my insides feel like they are going to split open; please, I can’t.”

”Just a bit more; your body is just trying to get used to it, just hold on; just?”

Nayeon closes one eye and bites her lip, wanting to stop herself from screaming. She sees her belly bulge every time you thrust your cock inside of her, which scares her, not knowing if you’re going to break her.

On the other hand, you’re met with Nayeon’s tight walls. It’s trying to resist you as much as possible, which makes it painful for Nayeon, but you prefer it that way. The more you see her struggle, the more it turns you on. 

“Fuck Nayeon, you’re so tight! It feels so good!” 

“I feel good?”

”Yeah, I love the way you wrap yourself around my cock.”

”Ummm, then I don’t mind if you go harder.”

”Are you sure?”

”Yeah, I want you to feel good.”

”But it might hurt a bit more.”

”It’s okay; it doesn’t hurt as much now; I can take it.” 

With Nayeon’s approval, you pull out your cock, covered in her reddish juices, and slap it against her cunt before putting it back inside. 

“Oh fuck” yelps Nayeon when your cock reaches the end of her womb. She tries to mask her expression and just focuses on the way you smile every time you hit her womb. 

You feel hotness building up in your core, and let Nayeon know you're about to cum. Surprised by your comment, she doesn’t know what to do and just says, “Oppa, cum if you want.” 

“Then, I’ll cum inside of you.” 

“Wait, inside…?”

“I’m going to fill your freshly fucked womb with my cum, so take it all!” You grab Nayeon’s hips and put your weight on her thighs, trying to go as deep as you can. 

Nayeon feels a hot sensation of cum shooting inside of her, covering her untainted womb, “So full!”

“What do you think?”

”It’s so warm.” 

Nayeon watches as you pull out your cock from her cunt and sees a large amount of cum ooze onto the sheets. Curious, she presses her stomach, making more of your batter come pouring out of her. Tired, she lies on the bed, staring at the ceiling and taking in what she just did.

It is then that she realizes what her mother has always mentioned before reluctantly letting her go training as an idol, “If you’re going to have sex, make sure you use protection.”

”I need to use the restroom,” and she makes her way towards the end of the bed, trying to get herself cleaned up. She then feels you grab her leg and says, “I’m not done yet.”

You grab her by the waist, push her down, and get behind her. “Who said you can go?” 

“I just need to use the rest…” and isn’t able to complete her sentence. She then feels the tip of your cock press against her entrance, and you put your whole weight on her. She groans as she takes your length in one go, “Oppa, not so rough.”

”This is rough,” and give her a hard thrust, which makes her choke up from the sudden movement. 

“Ah! Ahh… hmmm!”

Nayeon now enjoys the way your cock scrapes against her walls, even when it hits the back of her uterus. “Oppa, rougher… ahh.”

”Like this?” Slapping her ass. Nayeon yelps, “Ahh, that hurts!”

You slap her ass again, but with additional force, making her cheeks ripple. Nayeon bites onto the bedsheet as you continue to spank and fuck her from behind. “I’m going to make you into my toy, Nayeon; what do you say?” 

There’s no response from Nayeon, and notice that she’s grabbing onto the bedsheets. If she wants to play it that way, you can do it too. You continue to slap her ass until it’s completely red. Nayeon can’t hold anymore; she’s at her limit and lets go of the bedding, “Okay, I’ll be your toy; just don’t slap my butt anymore; it hurts so much.”

”No, you didn’t answer when I asked you the first time,” and continue to slap her until you reach your peak once more. ”Tell me, where do you want me to cum?”

Nayeon, at first, is hesitant to respond but realizes that this might be the only chance to stop you from spanking her. She says, “Inside me.”

”Be more specific.” 

“Please… please cum inside me.”

”Be specific.”

”In my cunt. Please cum inside me, my cunt you just deflowered. Breed me, please!”

”That’s my girl.”

Just like that, you give her one last thrust and fill her womb full with cum. The amount of cum you pump inside of her, causing her belly to bulge as if she was pregnant. 

Nayeon, now exhausted, becomes limp, laying on the bed like a used onahole. You get up, head to the drawer, and get your camera to photograph your latest work. “Nayeon, smile.”

Nayeon gives a faint smile as you take multiple pictures with the bed and her lower region covered in cum. 

“I’m going to take a shower; you can join if you want.”

”Hmm… okay.”

She eventually gets up, goes to the drawer, and sees your phone light up with a message that says, “Video successfully uploaded to the cloud name, XIDOLS, file: “IM NAYEON_01,” realizing she’s not the only one. 

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jijidraws

Jiji Knight is a latina pinup illustrator. Her work is overall geared toward thick ladies and dedicated to fat positivity out of a purely selfish need to create art she wished she had seen growing up. She often features sexy and soft macabre themes on vibrant or sweet colours and takes great joy in making folx feel good about themselves with her work. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration and operates out of her very sunny hometown of Las Vegas.

Check out our interview with Jiji below!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Oh my gosh… I have art blocks all the time. My favorite way of overcoming it is by making fanart. Funnily enough, that’s something I don’t do in my own work anymore. But there are still IPs I return to that still bring joy to my heart. I love returning to drawing Sailor Moon like when I was in first grade. Or I’ll even look up the last fashion week and start drawing the fashion week outfits from the Paris or New York show. Stuff like that is what gets my creative juices flowing.

What medium have you always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

Resin. Resin art is so stunning. People make the most amazing and beautiful sculptures using resin, and I don’t think I could ever bring myself to play with something so complicated. There are a lot of ways to cure it, and sometimes, it doesn’t cure properly…I already work with enough chaos as it is! I respect resin artists, but I don’t think I would ever touch it. I’ve admired it from a distance. There is an artist I follow who does these resin layer paintings. So they’ll paint a layer of resin, then cure it, and paint on top of the cured layer. They build up these amazing paintings using resin…I could never. Maybe one day!

What is one interaction you had with a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?

I still remember…It was my first and only Flame Con in New York. I had a fan come up to my booth. They didn’t say hello or that it was nice to meet me. They started to cry! They cried, and the first words out of their mouth were, “I’ve never seen myself in artwork before.” So, of course, I started to cry! So we were just crying across the table at each other. It was just one of the sweetest interactions, and it really sticks with me still to this day.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

My latest collaboration with the artist Missupacey. We’ve been collaborating for two years now, and our last collaboration was for Midsummer Scream. It was two very cute clown girls, and I designed our T-shirt. It was one of the most fun projects we’ve done in a long time. We love doing collaborative work because it keeps working in the art industry fresh—being able to bounce ideas back and forth. So we do it where someone picks the color palette, and someone picks a theme. We’ll get references together, put them on a big board, and send each other sketches. It’s really nice to work with somebody else.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Honestly, it changed everything. I mean, I used to draw for myself a lot. And while I still do that, I now predominantly draw for my Patrons. For a while, I was drawing for the internet. So I was drawing stuff people wanted to see in terms of plus-sized versions of characters—a plus-sized Poison Ivy or a plus-sized Sailor Moon. My Patrons have allowed me to start drawing for myself again. But technology, for a while, essentially dominated what direction I was taking with my art, so I’m grateful to take some of that power back.

If there is one thing that you want art enthusiasts to remember you by, what would it be?

Body positivity. I would love for them to remember that there is an artist making work that is making people feel good about themselves and about the way they look at themselves.

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Have a method of taking money, have a method of displaying your work, and have a way to take a break. I have a plastic picnic cover that costs like a dollar at any store. All I have to do is clip it to my display grates, and it covers up my entire display. I feel secure enough to take time for myself in a 10-hour workday to eat something, go to the restroom, or even take a moment to breathe and reorganize my inventory. So it’s so funny that this one-dollar piece of plastic is like the most life-saving item in my display of items.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@mayakern comes to mind. She is another body-positive artist who expanded into making body-positive clothing. She’s amazing, and just to see someone else out there promoting body positivity. Maya’s been doing it longer than I have, I believe. It feels good to know that I’m not alone. Her work is always stunning, and I love her body-positive DnD characters and the fact that she’s still plowing through the clothing industry. For example, she’s expanded from skirts to button-downs and even custom-wrap shirts. I love to see what she’s doing, and it inspires me to pursue different avenues with my own work.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Jiji! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jijidraws.

[wearebarca]

3. Captured // Alexia Putellas x Original character pt. 3

Part 1 part 2 part 3

synopsis: Rosalie has never stayed too long at the same place. When the opportunity of a lifetime presents itself critical moment in her life, the photographer decides to once again leave behind what she knows and joins the staff of Europe's best football team.

word count: 4,3K

18 + (eventually)

A/N: Hello, notify me if you'd like a little album of the pictures Rosalie takes. Spanish is from google translate so please be nice. French is my first language so all should be good on that part. Enjoy.

The question took the brunette by surprise. She could see that the footballer was getting more comfortable around her but she did not think that the woman would ask such a personal question. The subject had always been quite sensitive for the Canadian but, for unknown reasons she felt that, here, in this empty facility, with the catalonian trusting her with this whole process, she felt like she could share this bit of her story.

“ My uncle was a wedding photographer. When I was younger, he used to bring me with him to some weddings and have me play his little assistant. He would give me one of those single use cameras and tell me to capture what I found beautiful.” The memory put a nostalgic smile to the woman’s face. To this day, she still incredibly misses her uncle and wishes that he could see her today. 

“My parents were busy people, so my uncle took me under his wing. He taught me everything he knew and encouraged me to pursue this passion and helped me make a career out of it.” She raised her camera and snapped a shot of the blond who was listening with a small smile on her face.  “ Can you angle yourself towards the left please?” 

The blond moved to the side and for the first time tonight, really took the time to look at the brunette. Her hair was in a messy bun with a few strands escaping and framing her face. Her high waisted jean shorts showed off her long legs. She had on an oversized gray grandad cardigan on top of her black t–shirt. The sleeves of her sweater were slightly too long and went over her hands. The brunette looked comfortable and at ease, she was relaxed and completely in her element. She looked nothing like the photographer’s Alexia had worked with in the past. She was used to flamboyant people who yelled orders at their models or were constantly harassing her with their camera, not this slightly awkward, caring, beautiful woman who was willingly sharing her story with the footballer.

“ He must be an incredible photographer.”

“ He was yes,” The brunette’s expression dimed at that, Alexia suddenly felt bad for bringing the subject but the smaller woman motionned to her that everything was ok and continued. “  Eleven years ago he was diagnosed with bone cancer. He died a year later, not long after my eighteenth birthday.”  

“ I am sorry,”

“ Don’t be, I’m happy to talk about him,” She said smiling, “ What about you? Why football?”

“ My dad, he loved football. He was always very supportive and proud. He got sick.” The blond said, looking down, not wanting the photographer to see her be vulnerable. Rosalie felt the shift in the atmosphere and put down her camera. “ He said that he would not die before seeing his daughter play for Barcelona’s first team, but he went two months before I reached our goal.” 

The brunette wanted to hug the girl standing in front of her but could not decide if she would be comfortable enough to do so. “ I am sure he is extremely proud of what you have accomplished, La reina”, the name earned the smaller woman an eye roll from the footballer who shifted in a different position for the photographer. 

“ Ok, let’s get this shoot over with, I think we both deserve to go home and finally relax.” They finished up quickly and Rosalie was quite happy with the pictures that came out. While she uploaded the pictures to her computer, the blond helped picking up the equipment. Grateful for her help, the brunette promised the captain that she would bring her coffee next week as a thank you.

They walked out of the empty training center as the sun was starting to set. When the brunette reached her small car, she turned around to see the taller woman standing awkwardly behind her. 

“ I just wanted to thank you for making this shooting so casual and easy.”

“ Of course, anything to make you comfortable, Alexia.” She grabbed the blond’s hand and gave it a light squeeze. “ Have a good weekend Capitana,” 

“Thank you,” The blond started to walk towards her own car but turned back around after a few steps. 

“ Bonne nuit Rosalià.”

The morning air was crisp against her sweat coated skin and the breeze coming from the sea kept the brunette cool even after running for an hour. It was still incredibly early in the morning and the only sounds that could be heard were the odd car passing and the sound of her feet hitting the pavement. Early morning was her favorite time to go run. It allowed her to be completely submerce by the calmness of the still sleeping city. Rosalie didn’t often run with music, preferring to listen to the sounds of her own steps, which acted as some sort of metronome for the torrent of thoughts running in her head lately. 

It had been four days since her shooting with the captain and still, the whole ordeal seemed to be the subject her brain would drift back to whenever the French-Canadian would let her mind run free. The fact that the blond seemed to make tremendous effort to stay as far as she could from the photographer had not helped the questions that were quickly multiplying in her head. 

Rosalie somehow thought that after that night, Alexia would be more approachable and less standoffish. But clearly the woman was not as comfortable as she thought with how vulnerable they had gotten and now she was probably regretting telling the brunette so much. Or maybe she thought that Rosalie went too far by sharing her story with the footballer. Whatever the reason was, the results were still the same. 

Later today, the team will be taking off towards Sevilla for a two day trip. They would all meet at the training center and take the team bus towards the airport. Flying had always been a tricky thing for Rosalie. When she was a teenager she had been on a plane with extremely violent turbulence that had scared the girl and ever since, flying had been one of the woman’s biggest fears. Her friends had always found the thing ironic, since the brunette's job required Rosalie to fly frequently and said that she should’ve gotten used to it by now. But nonetheless, every time the photographer simply thought about flying, she would get restless and anxiety would start creating a pit in her stomach. 

This was the reason why she was currently out at such an ungodly hour, trying to literally run away from her anxious thoughts. Around her she could see that the small coffee shops that were lined on the streets were starting to set up their front patios in order to open and the smell of freshly baked pastries was floating in the morning air. A quick look at her watch told her that she still had a good three hours before Lucy and Keira would arrive at her apartment to pick her up, meaning that she still had time to hit  the half marathon mark before heading back.

She wasn’t used to running this long on morning runs, but she had gone over her training program with Sara, one of the coaches and switched up her training to make it more challenging. So far her breathing was good and she could feel the slight burn of her legs but overall, her pace was good and she was more than satisfied with her time. 

Sara had been a true angel this past week. She had helped the runner organize a new training plan that was focused more on endurance rather than speed. Rosalis had always struggled with long distances which was why marathons were her least favourite type of races. She was extremely hard headed though so she was still focused on mastering this type of event. 

She even went as far as going running with the Canadian during the weekend. She was quite impressed by the level of fitness the brunette was displaying and found that she very much appreciated the company of the French-Canadian. After their run they had stopped at a local café and had agreed to room together during the upcoming trip. 

When Rosalie arrived at her apartment complex, she noticed the couple’s car parked by the door. She checked her watch to see that she technically still had at least an hour and a half before they were supposed to be here. She opened her door to come face to face with a sleeping form on her couch and Lucy running around in her kitchen.the smell of crêpe was wafting in the space.

“ Took you long enough,” The older woman whispered, handing Rosalie a fresh cup of coffee.

“How did you even get in here?”

“ You’re the one who left her door unlocked Rosie, which is not very safe darling you should be more careful.” 

The blob of  blankets on the couch stirred enough to reveal disheveled blond reddish hair. “ Lucy, please shut your mouth. I'm trying to sleep here.”

Rosalie made her  way to the living room and jumped on the woman who screamed at the Canadian to get off.

“ Frenchy you smell like ass go shower, Mama Bronze isn’t done with food anyway.” 

After her shower the brunette put on some comfortable clothes consisting of the staff’s tracksuit pants, a white t-shirt with the Barcelona logo and the Nike club vest that had quickly become one of her favorite articles of clothing. When she came back in the kitchen, everything had been picked up and the kitchen island was dressed up with the food. Lucy and keira were already sitting down and shoveling down food.

“ Mais quel bande d’animal, sincèrement? Vous ne pouviez pas attendre que j’aille fini?”

“ Tais toi femme et viens manger.” Lucy replied with her mouth full.

“ I regret teaching you French, I hope you know that.” She sat down and sipped on her coffee. She wasn’t hungry due to the knot that kept her stomach in check. Knowing that the younger woman would most likely not be able to eat due to her nervousness, Lucy got up and pulled out from the fridge a protein smoothie she had made at home before coming over. 

“Here, at least drink this, you just came back from what I assume was a big run. You gotta put something in you.”

Once breakfast was over, Rosalie finished packing up her camera bag while the girls were loading her bags in the car. The drive to the training center was quiet. Keira was still half asleep and Rosalie was simply too stressed to engage in conversation. Lucy didn’t mind the silence, she was relaxing and enjoying the time spent with two of the most important people in her life. 

The bus ride with the team was more or less the same, with everyone in  pretty much the same state as Keira. As they got closer to the airport, Rosalie’s nerves became worse. Her knee was bouncing up and down and the woman kept zoning out, unable to keep listening to Martina who was going on about a rumor about some people working in management. Thanks to Marcello’s participation in the conversation, Rosalie’s state remained relatively unknown. Or so she thought. 

A few seats behind her, Ingrid, Alexia, Mapi, Keira and Lucy were all sitting together. Knowing that the younger girl was quite fragile at the moment, Lucy had kept a close eye on her. 

“ Hermana, you keep watching Rosie, is everything good?” Mapi wondered, stretching her neck to catch a glimpse of the photographer. 

“She hates flying, it affects her a lot. I just don’t want her to get too bad, you know » Alexia had also noticed the change in the brunette. The normally bubbly woman looked pale and uncharacteristically quiet. 

« Can we do something to help? » Ingrid asked.

« Not really, nothing really distracts her in this situation. We just have to let her process this and stay close, just in case. » Keira replied. They were used to flying with the brunette and had tried everything to help her calm down but nothing really did the trick. She usually would put her headphones in and grip the seat as  hard as she could until they would land. 

Lucy got up and excused herself. Alexia watched her make her way to the front of the bus where the coaches, therapist and the rest of the staff were. “What is she doing?”

“ I think she’s trying to figure out who’s sitting with Frenchy on the plane.” Keira answered, turning towards her girlfriend.

“ They are close, Si?” Alexia’s curiosity had gotten the best of her. She wasn’t jealous, she could see that Lucy and Keira cared a lot about the green-eyed woman and she did not understand why, but she wanted to know as much as she could about her. 

“ Yeah, Like sisters they are. Lucy’s very protective of her, she does have much family. We’re hers now, you know.” Keira smiled as she watched Lucy walk back to her seat, but not without stopping to drop a granola bar on The Canadian’s lap and threatening her to eat it before they boarded. 

“ So who’s with her?” 

“ Apparently she’s the only staff member who didn’t get a ticket in the same area, probably because they booked it after everyone else. She’s gonna sit with the team, but we don’t know our seats yet so..” She said as she sat back down.

“ It’s ok, I can ask whoever is with her to swap with me, I’ll sit with her.” Ingrid said smiling. 

“ Thank you Ingrid,” Lucy said, visibly more relaxed knowing that the brunette would be with someone she seemed to trust.

At the airport, security went smoothly and the team collected their boarding passes only to be called moments later to the gate. The speed at which everything was going was a godsend for Rosalie who was too focused on making sure she had all her documents all the while taking pictures of the team, to have time to think about the moment the wheel of the plane would leave the ground. 

As she walked in the tunnel leading to the aircraft, Rosalie could feel her heart hammering in her chest and her palms getting increasingly sweaty. Lucy’s grounding presence helped the brunette a little but her fear was fighting hard to gain control. The photographer checked her boarding pass for the first time since receiving it to check what seat she had been assigned. 

“ where are you sitting?” The question came from Ingrid who was walking in front of them. 

“ I have B47,” her answer came put a lot more calm than the woman felt as she scanned the seats to find her own. 

“ That's good, Mapi and I are right in front of you,” As she was answering, the Norwegian stopped and picked up her bag to place it in the overhead bin, which told Rosalie that they had reached their seats. She walked the few steps that separated her from her seat, only to come face to face with the woman that had been occupying her mind for the last few days. 

Suddenly, Rosalie’s anxiety found a new target to spiral about. A hand on her shoulder pulled the photographer out of her thoughts. 

“Are you ok? We can sit together if you want? I have a few movies downloaded on my tablet. Mapi can sit with Alexia.” Ingrid asked, smiling softly at the brunette. Rosalie appreciated the dark haired girl but there's one thing that woman hated more than flying, and it was  pity. She knew that they only wanted to help her but she couldn’t help but feel like they were pitying her and she didn't want to appear weak in front of her new team, which is why she politely declined, thanking the couple and placing her belongings in the bin on top of her seat. 

The comotion caught the attention of the blond captain who had not seen who was prepared to sit next to her. She was more than surprised to see the photographer standing in the alley with a nervous small playing on her lips. 

“ Hey,”

“Hola,” Alexia said smiling, picking up her bag from the seat next to her. She sat down next to the blond and closed her eyes to try to calm herself before take off. 

Looking at the brunette, Alexia felt a strange sense of protectiveness wash over her. She wanted to make the brunette feel better, make that smile that takes her breath away appear on the photographer’s soft features. A few seats away, she could see Lucy watch them with a worried expression which Alexia answered with a reassuring smile. She would not let the brunette spiral. 

Surprisingly, Alexia was not the first one to speak. “ I am sorry if I overstepped during the shooting. I didn’t want to male you feel uncomfortable.” She said, eyes still closed and head thrown back. If she was to sit with the blond for this trip, might as well try to make it a little less awkward. 

“ What do you mean?”

“ I don’t know, I just  don’t want you to think that I’m probing your personal life.”

“ No, no I did not think that, do not worry,” the footballer took a second to think about what she was going to say next. She was aware of her own behaviour towards the photographer. The woman made her nervous and she felt like with the brunette, she did not need to put on a controlled facade like with the rest of the media team, and that scared the Ballon d’Or winner. Alexia hated feeling like she wasn’t in complete control of herself, so the easiest solution in her mind was simply to keep her distances. But staying away from the brunette did not appease her curiosity. “ I am very sorry if I made you feel this way. I appreciate your presence Rosalia.” 

The blond’s small confession made Rosalie slightly relax, enough for a small smile to escape her lips. She turned her head towards Alexia, who felt a warm feeling take place at the sight. “ I appreciate your presence as well.” 

The plane jolted, signaling the brunette, who had momentarily forgotten where she was, that they would be taking off very soon. She quickly grabbed the arm rest and panic flooded brain. Alexia, who had seen the brunette deteriorate, did the first thing that came to her mind. She grabbed the hand that was gripping the arm rest and held it with her own. She reached with her other hand and gently turned the photographer’s face towards her. Green met Hazel and the brunette was instantly captured by the depth of the footballer’s gaze. 

“You’re ok, hey look at me, breathe with me ok?” The blond took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her lips. The brunette followed the footballer’s lead, her eyes never straying from Alexia’s. “ bien, lo estás haciendo muy bien”

Alexia’s words ignited a small flame at the pit of the photographer’s stomach which successfully calmed some of the anxiety, but replaced it with an odd feeling that the French-Canadian was simply not ready to face yet. 

“ Here take this, it'll help with the pressure,” the captain pulled out a pack of gum and popped two pieces in Rosalie’s hand. The first bite surprised the photographer who made a face that pulled a chuckle from the footballer. 

“ What kind of psycho chews cinnamon gum?”

“Hey it’s good don’t be mean,” the woman answered with a hurt expression. She could see that Rosalie had calmed down quite a bit, but the deadly grip she still had on the blond’s hand showed her just how sacred the photographer was. Suddenly, they could feel the plane gain some speed and the wheel lifting off the ground. The brunette’s gaze shifted quickly towards the small window as panic clouded her eyes.

“ no, no sigue mirándome” With her hand still on Rosalie’s face, she drew the brunette closer still. Only a few inches separating the two. Rosalie could smell Alexia’s perfume, something sweet, like strawberries. She smelled like summer, it was intoxicating. She didn’t understand what the blond had said but it did not matter, since as soon as her gaze met hers, the blond smiled sweetly and Rosalie forgot once again where she was. 

“ Tell me one of your happiest memories,” The French-Canadian was surprised by the blond’s question. She had gone from ignoring the photographer to taking care of her during takeoff. She knew that Alexia was simply trying to distract her, but the curiosity she could see shining through her eyes made the brunette realize that maybe, the football player didn’t hate her after all. 

“ My first triathlon, it would have to be one of the most meaningful things in my life.” She answered.

“ Tell me about it, si?” 

“ It was a few years ago, my uncle loved triathlons. He used to do one every summer. He also volunteered as a photographer for the races. When I got older I would volunteer with him and he used to say that I would be a great triathlete if I wanted.” She said, smiling at the memory. 

“ He knew that my football days were over since I had gotten injured and needed surgery on my ankle. He said that once I’d be on my feet again I should give it a try. But I used to think that I would hate running, it was the part I hated the most during training.” Rosalie’s expression darkened. 

“When he died, I thought that it would be a good way to honour him in a way, the training was so hard. I had never swum before and my cardio wasn’t great coming back from injury.” She took a deep breath and her gaze left Alexia’s to shift to their intertwined fingers. 

“ But the rush of crossing the finish line was electric. It felt like I made him proud.” She looked back up only to see the captain's face lighting up along with hers. 

A few seats in front of the two, Lucy was witnessing the whole thing along with Keira. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing. In the time they had known her they had never seen her be so relaxed on a plane, nor being so physically close with someone she had just met. She had always been a bit weird about physical touch, it had taken a while before she started to relax whenever the English women hugged her. But at this moment, hand in hand and only a few inches separating their faces, the photographer looked comfortable, happy almost. 

The sound indicating that you could take the seat belts off pulled the two women out of their little bubble. Realizing that she was still gripping the footballer’s hand, Rosalie slowly untangled her fingers from Alexia’s and slightly pulled away from her. 

“Thank you for distracting me,” 

“My pleasure, I am always happy to know more about you Rosalia” The footballer turned around and pulled out her headphones from her case. Rosalie, still surprised by the blond’s statement, put one headphone back in her ear, letting the other one dangle in on her chest and closed her eyes, listening to the calming sound of her music, all the while keeping an ear out in case anything happened. 

A few minutes passed, not much could be heard around. Everyone was either on their phones or had put a movie on their screen. Rosalie could see from the space between seats that Mapi and Ingrid were snuggled up and watching The Lion King on their tablet. An intense shuffling sound pulled her attention away from their screen to see Alexia intensely searching for something in her bag.

“ Ah mierda , where are they?” She sounded frustrated enough for the brunette to lean in to see.

“ Are you ok?”

“ Si, I think I did not bring my headphone charger and they just died,” The blond said frustrated. 

“ Here,” The brunette took her headphone that was resting on her chest and offered it to the footballer. “ we can share if you’d like, I’m not using them both.” She said smiling. 

“ You don’t mind?” 

“Of course not, it’s the least I can do after you helped me like that.” She said, getting closer so the wire wouldn’t pull her other headphone out. “ What do you usually listen to?” 

“ You can leave on what you were listening to, I just don’t like working without music.” The blond said, pulling out her laptop. Rosalie pressed play again and the soft piano song started again in her ear. After a moment, the blond stopped typing and spoke again. 

“ This is nice, very calm, what is it called?” 

“ This is Interlude by this group called London Grammar. The singer’s voice is so powerful, it’s one of my favourite groups.” she said, happy to share her music with the blond.

“ Good, I will look them up then.” The blond went back to her work, softly humming to the music in her ear. Meanwhile, Rosalie was starting to feel like her lack of sleep and intense morning run were slowly taking a toll on her body. Alexia’s calm and grounding presence, along with her perfume that flooded her senses every time she took a breath allowed the photographer to relax enough for her eyelids to become heavy. Slowly her whole body became heavy and her head lolled to the side, resting gently on Alexia’s shoulder. 

At the contact, the footballer went rigid, but relaxed as soon as she realized that the photographer had finally succumbed to sleep, after being on edge all morning.  Knowing she could not work without disturbing the brunette, Alexia closed her laptop and relaxed in her seat, letting the soft music guide her towards sleep as well.

A/N: feedback is appreciated

[munson-blurbs]

Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!ReaderSeries

Day 7 of TUI-Mas

Warnings: pregnancy, medical stuff (an ultrasound), lots of happy and fluffy feelings

WC: 1.2k

Divider credit to @saradika

July 1999

It’s one of those sweltering summer days where the air conditioning can never be cold enough. The room could be at subarctic temperatures, and perspiration would still trickle down your spine and in the space between your breasts.

Your husband hasn’t gotten the memo.

“Eddie,” you grumble, scowling down at where he’s laying atop your stomach. You peel your body from the back of the sofa in an attempt to sit up. “It’s too damn hot for cuddling.”

He pouts, doubling down and draping a tattooed arm over your midsection. “But I’m trying to bond with the baby,” Eddie laments, a slight whine lacing his tone. He’s at least able to lounge around the apartment without a shirt, but you don’t have that luxury. Your tank top clings to your torso like a second skin.

“You can bond when this heat wave breaks. Get up.”

“Fine, fine.” He shifts positions, stretching and exposing the sweat-tinged tufts of hair under his arms. He gives your bump once last rub. “We’ll talk again once the temperature’s back in the double-digits, Baby Munson.”

You stand up, grateful that you aren’t so pregnant and can still lift yourself from a sitting position. “We have to leave for the ultrasound in a few minutes,” you gently remind him. “Is the Big Brother ready to go?”

Eddie chuckles, padding over to the bedroom and shrugging a white t-shirt over his head. “Are you kidding? He’s been awake and fully dressed since the crack of dawn.” It’s all that Harris has been talking about since you’d asked him if he wanted to come and find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. Eddie steps into a pair of jeans, nearly falling over as he tries to maintain his balance. “Har! We’re leaving soon!”

Harris scampers out of his room, jumping with such enthusiasm that you can hardly make out the text on his shirt that boasts, ‘PROUD BIG BRO.’ “Let’s go!” he insists, taking your hand in his and tugging you towards the door. 

“Dad still needs to put his shoes on,” you say through a laugh. “We can’t go without him.”

He sighs impatiently, shoulders drooping as he turns to his father. “Come on; we gotta see if I’m gonna have a brother or sister!”

“Okay, alright. Jesus H, can’t a man zip up his fly without being berated around here?”

“This might be a bit cold.”

You smile, laying back with your shirt hiked up just beneath your breasts and a thin paper towel tucked into the stretchy waistband of your shorts. The ultrasound technician shakes the bottle of gel and squirts it onto your bare stomach. It comes out with the air that’s trapped inside, making a pfft sound that sends both Harris and Eddie into hysterics.

“Boys!” you hiss. “Behave yourselves. Especially you,” you add pointedly, looking directly at your husband.

His cheeks redden in embarrassment, mouthing sorry, but you can see him stifling another laugh when the bottle makes the same sound again.

A pulsing beat fills the room as the technician slides the wand across your belly. “That’s one strong heartbeat,” she announces, and Harris’s eyes widen in realization.

“That’s the baby’s heartbeat?” He glances between you and Eddie, jack-o-lantern grin splitting his face. “That’s so cool!”

Eddie gestures towards the screen as the black-and-white image becomes clearer. “Look, there’s the nose and the mouth,” he says to Harris, pulling him close to his side and hugging him. 

The technician takes a quick snapshot of the baby’s profile before moving on to the tiny arms and legs and snapping another. Everyone is staring and waiting for her to announce the sex.

“Um, excuse me?” Harris raises his hand timidly as though he’s in school, taking to heart an earlier conversation about using his manners in the doctor’s office. “Are you gonna tell us if I’m getting a brother or a sister?”

The technician laughs kindly, carefully adjusting the wand’s positioning. “Let’s see…” she starts, pinching her thin brows together as she examines the anatomy. “Well, Mr. Harris, it looks like you’re going to have a little brother!”

Etiquette is swiftly tossed aside as Harris breaks free of his dad’s grasp, jumping up and down until he’s almost breathless. “I’m getting a brother! I’m getting a brother!” 

“Another boy,” Eddie muses, squeezing your hand. “No tying the score for ya, Sweetheart. Sorry.” He kisses your forehead and chuckles softly. “The Munson men remain triumphant!”

Your mouth is dropped open in a small o, still in disbelief. You’re going to have a baby boy, a little blend of you and Eddie. Though the swell of your bump should have been evidence enough of the life growing within you, the knowledge that your unborn child is a little boy makes it so real.

All you can manage is a soft, “Oh, my God,” any other words failing you. You let your hand rest on a part of your stomach not slick with gel, blinking away the shininess coating your eyes so you can look at your husband. “Eds…we’re having a boy.”

“Are you happy?” His voice is laced with worry, mind flooded with tidbits about mothers wanting daughters. 

His fears dispel as soon as your lips curl upwards into the most genuine smile he’s ever seen. “So happy. We’ll have our big kid boy,” your gaze flits towards Harris, “and our little baby boy. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” 

Eddie’s lips swoop down to kiss you, nose brushing yours. “I love you, and you,” he kisses your bump, “and you.” He plants a smacking smooch on Harris’s scalp, which is promptly met with a look of disgust.

Harris scratches at the spot his dad just kissed and points to your belly. “Does he have a name yet?”

“Not yet,” you admit. You and Eddie have thrown around a few options, but none have stuck. “We can call him Baby Brother until we figure it out. How’s that?”

“Okay.” He places a hesitant palm on your stomach. “Hi, Baby Brother. My name’s Harris. I’m your big brother, and when you’re out of Mommy’s tummy, we’re gonna play together all the time.”

You run a hand through his seemingly always-tangled curls. “I bet he’ll love that, Har. You’ll be the best big brother.”

The ultrasound technician wipes the remaining jelly from your torso, and you adjust your clothes and stand up. “The doctor will be in just to confirm that everything is progressing well; in the meantime, I’ll print off the pictures,” she says, adding, “you have such a beautiful family.” 

Her comment lingers even on the car ride home as Harris suggests baby names that get increasingly bizarre, your personal favorite being ‘Squidward Munson.’ A beautiful family. Your thumb grazes over the matte sonogram; all of the printed information is yours, but it’s still so surreal. 

“We’re framing the one that says ‘it’s a boy,” Eddie declares from the driver’s seat, flicking on his indicator as he turns into the apartment complex’s parking lot. He lowers his voice and teasingly asks, “You’re okay with being outnumbered?”

And maybe you’ll regret your answer when Baby Brother grows up and is belching at the dinner table, or making farting noises with his armpits, or contributing to Harris’s (and Eddie’s) collection of toilet humor, but you doubt that even boy-levels of grossness will change your mind.

“I can't wait.”

--

[beyourownanchor6]

you've got game

—idk this silly idea came to me after last nights ep and i just blacked out and wrote whatever this is <33

words: 1.1k | rated: g | read on ao3

They’d been lying there for about ten minutes with nothing said between them. Buck had asked Eddie about Chris and the letter, listening to Eddie work his thoughts out, offering commentary when needed.

The conversation with Chris had devastated both of them, but especially Eddie. With Chris getting older, the difficult questions kept coming. They were both finding them harder to answer.

For the time being, Eddie had settled with the fact that Buck had talked Chris through it and that Chris had eventually read the letter and put the picture of his mom back up. It was a start.

It was a serious matter, one Buck knew Chris wasn’t going to be “over” with a single letter, but it helped; for now.

Even so, Buck couldn’t help the silly little thought that kept creeping in the back of his mind. He let out a little laugh for it, quickly trying to cover it with a cough. Eddie didn’t buy it.

“Care to share?”

Buck cleared his throat as he turned to lay on his back. Eddie laid on his side next to him, facing Buck.

“Nothing. It’s uh, it’s dumb. And probably not uh, not appropriate right now.”

Buck knew if he turned toward Eddie he’d find his boyfriend directing a raised brow his direction. And so, Buck avoided it, turning back onto his side and away from Eddie. Still, Eddie wasn’t having it.

Eddie snuggled up behind him, snaking his arms around Buck as he pulled him in close, nuzzling into him.

“Inappropriate thoughts have never stopped you from sharing before.”

Buck snorted as Eddie squeezed him tighter.

Buck tapped his fingers over Eddie’s, stalling.

“Well it was just, I was kind of—proud.”

“Of what, that I didn’t have a panic attack about the whole thing?”

Buck smiled as he brought one of Eddie’s hands up to pepper kisses over. “Well yes that, but I was thinking more that ya know…our son has game.”

A groan fell out of Eddie and he was turning away and abandoning Buck in an instant. Buck rolled to face Eddie, propping his head up on his arm.

“C’mon babe, he has five different girls going after him? I’m just saying; that’s pretty impressive.”

“You’re insufferable.”

Buck pushed into Eddie’s space, nosing into him.

“I mean, I’m just saying…we know he doesn’t get that from you.”

A playful yet warning pinch came to his side, Buck yelping a little for it as he pushed further into Eddie’s space. He made the smart decision not to say anything further.

Eddie’s arm reached out, his fingers landing on Buck’s hip. His hand fit right into place, molding into Buck.

“I got you, didn’t I?”

Buck was grateful the room was dark enough to hide the flush of his cheeks. Even after all these years, Eddie still had such an effect on him. He hoped that would never change.

Buck slid his hand down to meet Eddie’s and he threaded them together.

“I’m not immune to your charm like the others.”

Eddie snorted. “You just like my ass.”

Buck quickly shifted their positions so he could get his hands on Eddie, practically pulling his boyfriend on top of him. He squeezed Edddie’s ass before kissing him a little filthily.

“Well it is a nice ass. But it’s not why I fell in love with you.”

A smile fell off Eddie’s lips, one he placed to Bucks.

“Then tell me cowboy, what did lure you in?”

Buck preened for the dorky pet name. He brushed his hands up and down Eddie’s arms a little absently as he thought over all the things that made him fall in love with one Eddie Diaz.

“Well, you’re badass under pressure, you let me into your adorable sons life, you always have my back, you’re my best friend, you’re the best dad I know, and you’re probably the most selfless person I’ve met besides my sister. You’re always there when anyone needs you, and adorably afraid of technology. You make me wanna be a better person and you just…well you love me for—me.” Buck squeezed Eddie’s arms before leaning up to kiss him and whispering into him. “And you have a nice ass.”

Eddie rolled his eyes then kissed Buck again, sweet and slow.

“Thank you Buck, for always being there for us. Chris looks up to you; trusts you.” Eddie looked down to him, those browns wide and endearing. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

Buck smiled up to him while pulling Eddie closer.

“Good thing you’ll never have to find out.”

Their lips met in the middle, soft yet passionate kisses shared between them. They eventually settled back into each other, Buck on his back with Eddie nestled in close.

“You know,” Eddie started, tapping a finger across Bucks bare chest. “I’m pretty proud of you too.”

“Why’s that?” Buck asked, settling further against Eddie.

“Well, I know how badly you wanted to congratulate our kid for being a total ladies man, but you somehow managed to refrain. I know that must’ve been hard for you.”

Buck sighed as he tossed his head back. “God Eds that was so badass of him! I wasn’t meant to be the un-fun parent.”

Buck pouted while Eddie snickered. Eddie sat up to kiss his pout away, Buck easily accepting it.

“You know, I still have pretty good game.”

Eddie raised his brows. “You think so?”

Buck puffed out his chest a bit. “Oh I know so.”

“Prove it,” Eddie challenged, Buck not backing down.

Buck pulled Eddie back against him, wrapping him up tight as he whispered in his ear, sliding his hand down the expanse of Eddie. “So are you just excited about this talk or is that a—“

“Buck—go to bed.”

Buck totally had game, for the record. Eddie was no fun sometimes.

“You didn’t even let me get to the punchline!”

“That’s because I already know it dork. You use it on me all the time.”

Well, when Buck found something good, he stuck with it. Especially at work when it tended to send a blush across Eddie’s cheeks as Eddie gave him a firm yet bothered warning.

“Fine, but I have more, that I will be wooing you with starting tomorrow.”

Eddie chuckled in his hold. “Can’t wait. But just remember, you already have me. I’m all yours Buck.”

He did love the sound of that.

Buck snuggled in closer, Eddie tilting his head up so their lips could meet.

“And I’m all yours.

Just when Buck was finally settled and on the verge of sleep, Eddie’s voice filled the silence.

“You can use your cheesy lines to pick me up any day.”

Buck smiled into him. “Yea, or you know uh, you could-you could use them on me.”

Why did they need game when they had each other?

————————————————————————

tagging squad below; lmk if you wanna be added or removed <3

tags: @loserdiaz @redlightsandicedtea @loveyourownsmiilee @monsterrae1 @buddierights @swiftiebuckleyhan @honestlydarkprincess @barbiediaz @spotsandsocks @justsmilestuffhappens @eddiiediaz @djdangerlove @eddiebabygirldiaz @elvensorceress @jacksadventuresinwriting @stanningsky @wh0re-behavi0r @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @transbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @betty-boom @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @pirrusstuff @nmcggg @theotherbuckley @louis-tenn @the-gayest-wug @buckley-diaz-rules @muppetbuddie @gamer-kai @blorbodiaz @heartshapedvows @trashbaget @steadfastsaturnsrings @buckbuckgoose @wikiangela @hobbitnarwhal l @shortsighted-owl @pirrusstuff @goldencherrymooon @murder-trio @daffi-990 @greenfairrryy @mattsire

[veersnz]

News of a new Beginning

I am beyond exhausted right now but I wanted at least try and write something tonight. And where do I even begin… I’m overwhelmed by emotions right now, good ones I promise.

As today marks the day I finally graduated high-school. And some may wonder; « but Veer, you’re 22, how come you’re only graduating now ? »

The story is a little complicated but yes, I did start high-school just like everyone else my age over 8 years ago. 8 years ago was also when I started my recovery journey, and as with any journey, nothing is ever goes smoothly and to fulfill it I had to drop out of school. I tried my best over the years to go back and finish my education but I faced many challenges that made it nearly impossible. I managed to finish two of the three years of high-school over a period of 7 years between many hospital stays and periods of great difficulties. In my heart I knew I was getting too old to go back to high school, the gap between me and my peers was widening each year and with it grew the fear of going back, of feeling out of place, alone and crushed by the weight of my own expectations. I was raised believing my academic achievements made my worth and I’m sure many will relate to that, this fear of never being enough. So I almost made peace with never having the future I wished for. But truthfully, this future I had imagined for myself wasn’t mine, it was someone else’s dream. And I was left stranded on the shores of those wishes, not having the faintest idea of what my life would become. And I almost made peace with that.

I clung to those realizations until last September when I enrolled in this special needs school far away from my home. One last time, I thought, one more chance. I didn’t know what I wanted to do after that, if I even managed to stay until the end. But it didn’t matter, my family believed in me, so did my therapist and my friends, even after so many failed attempts they kept their faith intact. And this love, I think that’s what helped me make the decision.

So I took that leap of faith, got a small room and started living on my own for the first time while pursuing my education. I would lie if I said it was an easy ordeal, many obstacles came in my way and I almost gave up, many times. But with the help of my family, friends and the incredible people I met at this school I persevered. I am very aware of the incredible luck I had that September of 2023, being surrounded by so many loving and caring people. I couldn’t be more grateful. And you all count to, it may seem silly because this is « just a kink community » but I’ve met so many brave souls, incredible people and so much love even from afar. Having this positive presence in my life has brought me strength and respite sometimes from the outside world, even just for a moment sometimes. And for that I am eternally grateful.

And so after 11 months I am graduating with the highest honors and finally putting an end to this journey of 8 years. Of course the path to recovery will continue on, but I am turning to a new page of my life’s story and I couldn’t be happier and grateful. I’m still probably in shock and the realization will settle over me in the next few days. But today, today I know that I’ve reclaimed my future.

I know there will be many more challenges, uncertainty and pain to face but tonight I am basking in the happiness of having accomplished something my past self could only dream about. And I hope the parts of myself I left behind are proud of me.

Thank you ❤️

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

I was exactly halfway into my second pregnancy, and up until that point, we were so ecstatic to be expecting again — a baby we’d been praying for. We kept talking about and imagining the joy it would be to bring our new baby home to meet our 2-year-old daughter. But at my 20-week ultrasound, a day that is supposed to be full of excitement and awe, we received devastating news. Our baby, a second daughter, had many severe and insurmountable skeletal and organ issues. Fetal specialists told us that it was extremely unlikely she could survive because all her major organ systems had significant development issues. We were blindsided and heartbroken, and yet somehow clear-minded. We chose to do what we believed was best for our unborn daughter as well as for our family; because that is what you do as parents. And we saw the choice we ultimately made as an act of love for her. We respect and honor that other parents have chosen — and will continue to choose — the only other option our doctor suggested to us — to let the pregnancy take its natural course and provide specialist or palliative care as needed. And that is the point. Individuals and their families — no matter where they happen to live — must be able to make the best choice for them. They need to be free to choose their own act of love. I believe now more than ever that anyone’s reason for seeking an abortion is valid. Who are we to say it isn’t? What we didn’t know when we made our decision was that in addition to being so difficult emotionally, it would be made so much worse by the abortion bans recently enacted in Idaho. Because of these cruel laws, my Idaho doctors could not provide me with an abortion — something they could easily have done before Roe v. Wade was overturned — in my own community supported by family and friends. We had to spend the following days cold-calling countless clinics in nearby states where abortion is still legal, but found out that because of all the other new abortion bans in states across the country, many clinics had closed, most had no open appointments for several weeks, and still others considered my pregnancy, at 20 weeks, too far along for me to receive care. The thought of waiting out this pregnancy, possibly for weeks, or however long, while trying to get through the day working as a chiropractor and still being active and present for our toddler was more than I could handle. All I could think about was whether the daughter I was carrying was already suffering; my anxiety and sadness were overwhelming. We both felt hopeless and heartbroken until we reached a Seattle clinic with a last-minute cancellation. Although relieved, there was so much we had to do to get there in the haze of our grief. There were flights to make, hotels to book, a car to rent and medical care our health insurance would not cover because we were going out of state to access and receive it. One of the most tragic — and degrading — parts of our situation was knowing that people in my home state of Idaho believe this is acceptable, denying me bodily autonomy. We will always be grateful to the clinic and team in Seattle for offering us professional, compassionate care. I am a person of faith and for months after my abortion, I kept telling Brandon there had to be something positive that would come out of this experience. Several months later, I learned that the Center for Reproductive Rights was putting together a challenge to Idaho’s abortion laws, and I knew immediately that moving forward as a plaintiff in the case was something I had to do. I’m proud to be one of the many women and doctors challenging and broadening these laws. Physicians in Idaho must have greater discretion over when abortion exceptions are warranted, and the decision should be the patient’s in consultation with their doctors.

[vephyrus]

my goodbye’s to The Bad Batch.

Tech,

your mind is beautiful, and your heart is just as radiant. your selflessness is inspiring, and your drive for knowledge makes me want to know more. some may say that you are stuck up, but i see how much you truly love your family. you may process things differently than others, but you are worthy of the exact same love. i wish i could see your mind process more, i hope that you’re happy. may there be infinite knowledge where you are. you deserve the very best. i love you.

Wrecker,

you inspire me to be strong enough to be gentle. you have a beautiful soul, you make me laugh, and you are worthy of every delicious meal. you have protected your family well, and you have managed to do it with a smile on your face. i’m so proud of you for holding them together. i hope that wherever you end up, it is filled with laughter, full plates, and more excitement than you can wrap your head around. i love you.

Crosshair,

you are so worthy of love, never doubt yourself or your abilities. even if things aren’t necessarily the way they used to be, you are still worthy of love. i see the ways that you care for your family, and you are anything but a cold sniper. i am so proud of you for overcoming everything, even the things you don’t speak about, despite how difficult that may have been for you. i hope that you find rest, i hope that you heal, and i hope that you are happy. you deserve the best, Cross. i love you.

Omega,

you are such a light to your family. never doubt that, and never forget it. your brothers love you so so much, you have given them purpose. you changed them; you have done the best thing that anyone could have done for them. never forget how much you matter. you are so intelligent, beautiful, strategical, and you show so many positive traits of your brothers. there is such a wonderful purpose for you in this huge galaxy. never stop exploring, sweet girl. i love you.

Echo,

you have seen and overcome so much, and you have done an incredible job by remaining kind despite it all. you have always been a good soldier, and i hope that you never forget that. your wisdom, strength, and courage are inspiring. you are worthy of so many gentle and kind things. you work to make things right, and that is such an honorable trait to possess. anyone would be lucky to have you in their corner. i love your heart. i hope that you find the peace that you deserve, you are a good man. you deserve a happy ending. i love you.

Hunter,

you have been a good Sergeant; any team would be lucky to have you at the head. you have led your squad well, and i am so proud of you. never forget how loved you are. never forget how much they love you, and look up to you, and care about you. even when you think that the pressure is alone on your shoulders, you are never alone. the bad things were never your fault. you have grown into an honorable man, putting your family above it all. you have learned so much and come so far, and i am so grateful to have seen you change throughout the journey. you deserve peace, rest, and happiness. i hope that you are happy, wherever you are. i love you.

Clone Force 99 / The Bad Batch,

i love you all so much. i can’t believe that i’m saying goodbye to you all. you have made me feel so seen, you have made me feel like i’m not alone. the way that you love each other is so special; never forget to love each other above it all. look after your family, and honor those who have fallen. you have all been good soldiers, and even better men (and girl). i salute you, and i love you all. may the force be with you.

[shejustcalledmeafish]

8 + 17 (”who did this to you?” • tending to an injury/wound/illness) john/toshiko (this one can be platonic/familial, or not. whichever you are more interested in/compelled to write)

Tosh didn’t know why she’d gone out. She had work in the morning, maybe even sooner. But still, her feet led her to a pub instead of her bed. The rest of the team’s bad habits were rubbing off on her. Owen would be proud, drinking in his stead.

It had been a few weeks since Gray had come and almost killed them all. Jack was still sulking, sunken into himself deeper than Ianto or anyone could pull him out of. He was mourning, and they had to give him time, of course. But Tosh couldn’t bear to see him this way, and had gotten out of work as soon as she could. She just wanted one night off. Of course, then she heard gunshots, and that was no longer an option.

Tosh pulled her own gun from her purse and moved carefully toward the alley where the noise had come from. She could call for backup, but only Jack was left at the Hub, everyone else had gone home for some needed sleep or whatever Owen did. She wouldn’t disturb them unless it was necessary. She could do that for them.

As she peeked around the corner, she saw only one figure, slumped up against the brick. Footsteps were echoing in the distance, fading away. Tosh slipped into the alleyway, deciding if it was worth giving chase when she took a proper look at the remaining person.

John Hart was swearing, his voice breaking with pain, clutching his bloodied hand to his chest. A gun lay on the ground by his side, next to—

Tosh had to look away, forcing herself to focus on John’s face and not his severed fingers. He saw her and panic flashed over his face. He pushed up to his feet, still cradling what was left of his hand.

“Go away,” he spat. “Go back to your Jack.” He tried to stride off, but Tosh watched as his legs trembled and he nearly collapsed. She put her gun away and rushed to his side. She nearly thought he would bite her from the way he snarled when she took hold of his elbow. But then he let her support his weight, and lead him over to a crate positioned near a metal door, cigarette butts scattered at its base.

“Who did this to you?” Tosh asked as she helped him sit. She kneeled, grateful she’d chosen to wear jeans today, and held back her nausea as she took a closer look at John’s hand.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said. He tried to pull back when Tosh reached for his hand, but when she glared at him, he relented. He was holding some sort of cloth tight over the wound, the fabric growing heavy with blood. Tosh didn’t need to remove it to tell his pinky and ring finger were gone; she’d seen where they went.

“We need to get you to a hospital,” Tosh said, reaching for her mobile. John reached out with his good hand, and Tosh felt ill seeing the scarred, new skin that circled his wrist. But she reached out, fingers brushing gently against his wrist as she returned his hand to put pressure on the wound.

“No, your hospitals wouldn’t know what to do with me,” John said, shooting Tosh a look along with a mischievous grin. It turned into a grimace as he looked back down at his hand. “If you reach in my coat, there’s a clotting agent I can use to stop the bleeding. I’ll take it from there.”

“Are you sure?” Tosh said hesitantly. “John, you just lost two fingers.”

“Two and a half, I think,” John said, wiggling the remaining digits then suppressing a moan of pain, undeniable regret flashing over his face. But he kept on joking. “And a bit of the palm. Motherfucker tried to shoot the gun out of my hand. I’m surprised it went so well for him.”

“So it was a man?” Tosh asked, gently probing. Even if John didn’t care, strange as that was, if someone had a gun and was willing to use it, that was at the very least a police problem, if not Torchwood, given they were hanging around with John.

“The clotting agent’s in a small pouch in a pocket on my left,” John said, tactfully ignoring her. “Clear bag, red blood drop label. Make sure it has the label. Although I wonder how effective the—” He cut himself off and Tosh watched in horror as a wave of pain racked its way through his body, no sound escaping him only because his jaw was clenched too tight to allow it.

Once he’d stilled, she didn’t argue, just maneuvered his coat open and started looking for the agent. It was easy enough to find, strangely, and Tosh opened the small, properly-labeled pouch as John reached to hold the edge of the bloodied cloth.

“Just pour it over the whole thing,” John advised. “Aim for anywhere that looks maimed.” He laughed but his hands were trembling. “I’ve had it before, Tosh. You’ll do fine.” Tosh took a deep breath, ignoring everything else, and held her hands steady as she nodded, and John pulled back the cloth.

Tosh had seen worse damage than this, from Weevils and aliens and even other gunshot wounds. But usually there was distance, the injuries in photos or corpses on Owen’s autopsy table. She held her breath, although the smell of blood was already rank, and started to pour. The white powder fell over the blood starting to gush anew, but the undoubtedly alien agent started to work immediately, absorbing the blood and starting to set and harden.

John had been a bit wrong about the palm, it seemed mostly intact, the knuckles damaged but not destroyed. But he had been right about the two and a half, while the ring finger and pinkie were completely severed, his middle finger was only gone above the middle joint. She wasn’t quite sure how the angles worked, but she forced herself to stop thinking about it.

“Should we get…” she trailed off as she resealed the bag with the remaining agent and slipped it into her own pocket. She nodded over to where John had been slumped. “On ice?” John shook his head immediately.

“Like I said, no hospital. I don’t want what this century tries to pass off as surgery anyway. I’ve heard horror stories.” John shuddered lightly, then held out his hand and flexed again, the clotting agent holding the wounds well closed. “Thank the goddesses for proper analgesics. This will last until I can—”

He stopped so suddenly, if it wasn’t for the silence in the alley, Tosh would have sworn he’d been shot again. His head dropped and he started to mutter lowly, in a language Tosh didn’t think was from Earth.

“John?” she asked, suppressing an urge to reach out and touch his shoulder. After a moment or two, his shoulders started to shake, and Tosh wondered if the reality of the situation was kicking in, a belated shock. But then she realized he was laughing.

“Of fucking course,” he spat, raising his head. He leapt to his feet so quickly Tosh stepped backward to avoid him. “This is what I fucking get, huh? Stuck in this bloody century and then he goes and shoots my fingers off.” He whirled around, coat billowing out as much as it could, then slammed his hand into the wall. Tosh yelled and reached out to grab his arm before he could do it again.

“What the fuck are you doing?” she demanded. She pulled his hand down to look at it, and it wasn’t until later that she’d realize how he’d let her. The sealed agent was still intact thankfully, but now the rest of his hand bore scrapes that it had managed to escape during the first trauma. She looked up at him, but her next shout died on her tongue.

He looked scared. It was such a difference to how he had behaved earlier, more than could be explained by just not realizing the severity of the wound. He had known, but now it was more significant. Her eyes were drawn again to his other hand, the inches of pink new skin encircling the wrist, and it clicked.

“How good is the technology in your time?” she asked quietly.

“You’d keel over from pure envy if you saw it,” he responded. “Vital organs take a while, brain’s a bit tricky still, even for us, but fingers? Three days inpatient, just to be safe, and it’s like you never lost them.”

“Your vortex manipulator?”

“Unless your trash gash spits me out some very specific parts, it’s useless as anything but a fashion accessory.” John sighed. “Took me ages to get the skin off too.” The air of joking was back in his tone, and it made Tosh relax slightly. There was a lightness to him that he projected, that put you at ease and made you forget what he was capable of.

But she didn’t lose her head entirely. Even if John didn’t want it, Jack would want to know he was still around, and seemingly would be for a while, trawling the Rift. She had to keep an eye on him. That was absolutely the only reason that she gently took the wrist of his left hand, and started to lead him out of the alley. She expected him to dig his heels in, literally, but he followed along, slowly.

“My flat is close,” she said. “You won’t want to stay in this alley much longer, I’m surprised the cops aren’t already here.” At that he stopped, yanking his hand free. She turned around to see him dashing back. In a motion only slightly slowed by the need for his right hand to lead, he had his fallen gun back in his holster, and his severed fingers nestled in the palm of the hand they had come from.

“Almost left a trail that even your century’s cops could follow,” John said, the grin on his face rigid and ghastly. “Now, lead the way, Toshiko.” And she did. She’d call Jack in the morning, as long as John didn’t slip away. But she didn’t think he would. They were in this together now, whatever it would lead to.

[deepdowninshipperhell]

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

Oh, that’s such a sweet ask!!!

Five things I love about myself (this is a hard one, but my therapist would be proud of me making the attempt, I guess)

- my creativity; how deeply I feel joy and excitement when it comes to the things I love; that I generally do my best to be there for the people around me; how often my immediate instinct is just to make food for people and make sure everyone around me is well-fed; that I’m capable of critical analysis

Three people I care about deeply (and why)

- my very very dear and close friend L, who is so so smart, incredibly excitable, a creative force to be reckoned with, shares so many of my passions, incredibly reliable in everything important and always, always there for me. They’re a bit of an anxiety noodle, but she still does her best to face her fears, and I appreciate that no matter how shitty stuff gets and how low they run on energy, they’ll still let themselves be roped into shenaniganery and going to concerts every now and again until things stop looking so very bleak, but I also appreciate that she’s working really hard at learning to set boundaries and giving herself some rest when necessary (although I still think she should let herself rest more). I enjoy being around him even when he’s at his lowest, but my God is he a force when he’s at his best.

- my bestie C, who’s been by my side for fifteen years now; even when nobody else wanted to be seen around me, she stuck by me, undeterred by bullies. She doesn’t always get my struggles, but she’ll always, always listen and do her best to understand. She’s such a silly little goose, and I know I’m always in for a good time when being around her, but also that I can come to her with everything important. We’re the same brain length of stupid, despite being generally quite different, and my most fun vacations have all been with her. She is so so smart and really creative and although often too shy to show it, is so extremely knowledgeable about the things she cares about.

- dearest @carrochan who, although ‘just’ a fandom friend, means so much to me. I always love sharing my fandom thoughts with her, but I generally just really enjoy talking to Carro, no matter the topic. I love how excited she gets about Kuroken and generally her interests, and it’s incredible how much energy she puts into the things she loves. She’s got so many great ideas and is really smart and is such an empathetic and lovely person, and I always love seeing what she’s working on and really do trust her judgment. I’m forever grateful I met her through this fandom space, even though I sometimes suck at replying, and honestly would love to meet her irl at some point.

[nicksbestie]

hi there, i recently discovered your page and i really love your work.

i was hoping maybe i could request something ?

lately i have been struggling a lot with my mental health and it’s been really difficult for my day to day life.

i was thinking anashton comfort ? something just like he knows how hard it can be and he says some encouraging words. bc that’s all i need rn.

as someone who also writes, sometimes i just need to read instead of writing it all.

if this is too vague i understand ! you totally don’t have to write this.

much love !

Antidepressant

word count : 663

warnings : mentions of heavy depression, mental health, medication

it's sad but I hope it's good!

<3

Ashton absolutely radiated comfort and positivity, and it was one of your favorite things about him.

Each and every part of him felt like a warm hug, especially when you were actually wrapped in his arms. You were always eternally grateful that you had such a person, especially that he understood how you were feeling sometimes. 

You didn’t like that he had been where you were, as the feelings of depression and anxiety, and other struggles with your mental health were painful, and you couldn’t imagine putting any of that onto him. But it was so appreciated by you that he could understand exactly what you were feeling, and knew exactly how to comfort you. He couldn’t fix it, but he was incredibly good at making it feel a little bit better. He was like an antidepressant in human form.

You were so grateful for him on days like these. And unfortunately, it was one of those days. Sometimes, like now, it was one of those weeks, those months, those slumps that feel like they’re going to last forever and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. But Ashton was a light, like a soft ray of sunshine, the kind that seeps through your swaying curtains to gently wake you up in the morning. 

You had woken up, having an awful day the day before, and you could just feel that things weren’t changing today. You felt awful, and all you did was roll over in bed, curling up to Ashton’s chest, and attempting to fall back asleep. He began to stir, smiling as he pressed a gentle kiss to your head, an arm stretching out around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. It was like he could feel the sadness seeping out of you, the overwhelming exhaustion, because he hugged you so tight, his chin resting on your head before he spoke. 

“Not any better today?”

The exhaustion was so great that you couldn’t even formulate a verbal response. You just shook your head, not really moving much more than you absolutely have to. He let out a soft hum of affirmation, slowly pulling the blankets off and slipping out of bed. You frowned at his disappearance, but still didn’t feel like getting up, so you laid in silence, a slight smile crossing your face when he promised to be right back. And he kept that promise, coming back with a slightly clenched fist and a water bottle, sitting down next to you and gently coaxing you to sit up. 

“Here, my love. I know you don’t take your medication as often as you should, take it today. It might do you some good.” 

You didn’t want to, at all. But because he was gently encouraging you, you did. The small white pill went down easily, but you still felt that Ashton was a bigger antidepressant than the medicine you had just swallowed. He laid back down next to you, moving to the other side of the bed before wrapping his arms around you. 

“It’s okay to feel like this, you know. I know it’s hard, and I know it absolutely sucks. But it’s okay. You don’t have to feel like you’re a burden, or anything like that. I understand, and I’m always going to be here for you. I’m so proud of you, and that’s never going to change. You’re allowed to have bad days, life is so difficult and it’s a lot to handle. We can just have a rest day today. I love you.” 

You felt too choked up to muster a reply, too overwhelmed with feelings of love and the warm bubbly feeling of being cared about and understood, just squeezing his hand three times to signify that you loved him as well. And if you spent the rest of the day in bed, curled up with him, eating and drinking when he softly helped, then nobody except the two of you had to know.

[hyunnows]

WHO YOU GONNA CALL? | TAPE #1

A series of tapes describing Namjoon's life since joining the Supernatural Investigation Unit.

PAIRING(S) | Namjoon x reader

THEMES | cop!au, x-files!au, ghostbusters!au, cop!Namjoon, cop!reader, youtuber!Seokjin, youtuber!Taehyung, ghosts, conspiracies, cryptids, the paranormal, and the supernatural are main subjects

WORD COUNT | 1.1k+

RATING | pg

NOTE | im so excited for this series im ngl--not sure how frequently i will be updating yet but i think once every two or three weeks? I dont want to take it too seriously (especially since it will probably flop) but oh well... also i know i should have posted this before halloween but it would be too close to the release of 'a love so beautiful' and i want to try to release fics consistently again so i have to keep these a bit spaced out. any this was a new style of writing for me, so i really hope you all enjoy this <3 if you would like to join the taglist, feel free to rb, or reply letting me know--or you can check out my taglist form as well <3333 have a great day/night!

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“So how did it all begin?” A man in a dark suit looms over the metal table, his words echoing off the brick walls and two-way mirror as he adjusts the large camera.

A more timid man sweats under his stare, looking into the camera’s lens awkwardly. “Well, it was the day of my promotion,”

“You’re going to kill this interview,” the brunet mumbles to himself, fixing his tie for the third time. “You’re going to do great and get promoted. Then you’ll finally be a detective.”

He huffs as his tie becomes undone, reaching for one of his clip-ons instead before putting it back down. “You have plenty of time Namjoon, you can correctly fix your tie. A real detective wears real ties.”

He stares in the mirror, continuing to prepare himself. “I’m going to ace this interview. They’re going to like me, I’m going to be likable. Calm, put together, and ambitious—but not too ambitious, I’m going to be grateful for the opportunity. I’m going to get the position, and make mom and dad proud.”

“At least, I thought it was a promotion,” Namjoon almost sulks, arms crossing at the memory. 

“This isn’t a promotion interview, Officer Kim. You’re being transferred to the Supernatural Investigation Unit,” Chief Yoon sighs, leaning forward. “I’m sorry to have misled you.”

“The Supernatural Investigation Unit?” The suited man repeats, leaning toward Namjoon.

“Yeah, everyone called it the X-Files though, like the show.”

“Continue.”

“The thing is, we don’t really have the budget to keep the X-files up, but we don’t have enough to take them down either. I need you to debunk the work going on in there, so we can submit a legit request to get the unit removed.” Mr. Yoon’s voice rumbles out, the crinkles by his eyes appearing as he looks at Namjoon with a serious look. “Listen, if you get our evidence, and I’ll get you a promotion, deal?”

“Obviously I wanted the promotion, so I agreed.”

“Is that the only reason you were chosen to fulfill this job?” the interviewer asks, the same monotone voice filling the room.

“I wish, but it was because of my past,” Namjoon sighs, “I used to be really into ghosts. I wrote reports on it, took video evidence, documented everything so that I could find proof about them. Back then, I also had a YouTube channel with my friend–we were pretty popular at the time. Anyway, I ended up writing a book on it before deciding to leave it all behind to become a serious detective.”

“And are you a detective now?”

“No, look at me,” he gestures to the modified hazmat suit draped across his figure. “How many detectives do you know that wear ghost gear and thermal goggles?”

The interviewer looks at him, unamused and urgent for him to continue his retelling.

“I look up our old stuff and see that new copies of my book are for sale, and that the channel is still up and running–both with my name still on them. So I decided to track down my friend and have a chat with him.”

“Yah! I’m getting the door, stop nagging at me!” Namjoon taps his foot impatiently, hearing the all too familiar voice approach the door. “How can I help–Namjoon? What are you doing here?”

“Hey Jin, I was hoping I could talk to you about the book and the old channel.”

The older man nods his head in recognition, opening the door to allow the taller male in. “Have you seen how well they’re doing? The book is selling pretty well and the channel is blowing up pretty quickly these days,” he says, too enthusiastic for Namjoon’s liking.

“That’s actually my problem,” Namjoon starts, dodging all the odd equipment and supplies scattered around Seokjin’s floor. “I’m sorry, what is going on here?”

Seokjin motions for Namjoon to follow, walking into the nearest door to the left. Upon entering, the cop is met with a makeshift lab filled with beakers, random devices, steam, and many other chemicals Namjoon can’t imagine to be safe. Not to mention one slightly tidier corner of the room with a camera facing a small desk, a corkboard up behind him. Namjoon immediately recognizes the set-up. “This is where we’ve been operating from recently.”

“We?”

“Oh, right. I have a new partner, give me one second,” Jin sticks his head out of the room, inhaling a large breath and bellowing, “Taehyung!”

“Stop yelling!” A younger guy grunts as he enters the messy room.

Seokjin grins, “This is Taehyung, mechanical genius, and my partner.” Taehyung gives a small smile and wave, removing Jin’s arm from his shoulder with a shrug. “Back on track though, what’s going on, why are you here?”

“I need you to erase me from those videos–take them down, even. If you really need to keep them, private them. The book too, I want my name off of it. They’re ruining my life, they’re–”

“Haunting you?”

“Really?” Namjoon groans, a dour expression on his face at the attempt to joke. 

“We argued for a bit, and he refused and pried until he found out about my transfer. That didn’t make anything better for me.”

“How so?”

“Instead of understanding where I was coming from, he just kept telling me how ‘this was my chance to live my dream’.” He deflates a bit. “When we were kids, everyone made fun of us for being the ‘ghost kids’. Even our teachers, parents, and everyone thought we were crazy. I remember my mom telling me how she wanted me to be normal so bad.”

“I take it you come from a not-very-accepting neighborhood?”

“Not at all. Those people didn’t like anything abnormal in the slightest. You should have seen how happy everyone was when we left for college,” Namjoon laughs dryly. “It was really messed up for some dorks like us growing up.”

Namjoon straightens himself in the uncomfortable metal chair. “We both wound up going to college together, I took criminology, profiling, and forensics. He took a medical path, with a few courses in human behavior and psych, I think. We were in a robotics club in high school and took engineering for a bit before dropping the class.”

“During college, we still made our videos and stuff. We made the book then too, 300 pages of paranormal bullcrap we put together over a few years. Because of our educations, we considered ourselves to be a pretty credible source for the paranormal.”

“Why did you stop?”

“I got tired of being seen as a joke. I wanted to be important,” his face is void of any emotion as he recalls the day he told Seokjin he would be leaving for the police academy and packed up his things. “So, I joined the police force. I did a few years as a mall cop, then started getting assigned more important cases and assignments slowly. Then one day, I was getting ready to be Scully to somebody’s Mulder.”

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[thecircularsystem]

Thank you for messaging us via comments on that post rather than reblogging. The situation of being reblogged and stuff was really stressing me out because it was exposing my page to backlash for a simple fact from the dsm. I’m conceptually familiar with complex dissociative disorders but CDD is also, more prominently known to mean “childhood disruptive disorder” which is something completely different.

-actuallydidosdd

Hey there.

Let me start this off firstly with an apology; I'm sorry, because I feel like my response to you isn't going to be the kindest. I am burnt out, struggling with my words, and while I mean the best of intentions with this, I think this isn't going to come across well. I want you to know that I am not the most pleased with how today played out on your blog. I do like the concept of your blog, and many of the posts on it -- but I think you were faced with the fact that you did not post factual information, and when confronted, you lashed out. I hope you are taking care of yourself, and that you analyze your actions today to see what exactly went wrong.

Secondly: I responded in comments because, frankly, I didn't want to continue spreading the misinformation from your post on my blog by reblogging it. I am a user who struggles with psychosis, due to my disorder, and while I am eager to point out that my alters are not fake, I am severely disappointed to see a supposed "educational" blog doubling down so severely on verifiably false information in order to make a positivity post. I'm grateful that you finally, finally changed the post to be more accurate, but that was after... what, four different posts, all those links, and you telling SAS that they need to be better at talking??? I'm sorry, but you need to understand the words you are saying before you say you're an Educational Blog. You said in a comment that you were just talking about your own lived experiences -- in which case you need to make that more blatantly clear, because you say your information is factually correct, and yet you started off with misinformation, changed the post to have more misinformation, and doubled down and yelled at SAS for correcting you.

Thirdly: It is not syscourse to correct your misinformation. Sysmedsaresexist may post quite a bit of syscourse, but the post in question had nothing to do with syscourse. It was correcting misinformation about a disorder, simply put. Yes, it was a debunk, and getting upset about your misinformation being debunked is... Well, perfectly understandable, considering that, despite all evidence to the contrary, you still believed your misinformation to be correct. Proud of you for not "putting syscourse" on your blog, but please understand there is a difference between System Discourse and A System Telling You You're Wrong. I'm sorry the backlash was a lot to handle. In the future, I might suggest just... blocking SAS if you don't want corrections, or better yet, taking a step back if it's overwhelming. You can turn off tumblr notifications on your phone and just... breathe and come down. You do not have to respond immediately!

Fourth: I'm not sure what you're calling "a simple fact from the DSM." If you're saying the simple fact is that the diagnostic criteria does not include hallucinations or delusions -- well then, I believe SAS clarified how your post did not come across as saying that. If you're saying the simple fact is that delusions and hallucinations are the same -- I do not know anywhere in the DSM that supports that. If you're saying the simple fact is that DID does not cause hallucinations -- Again, I would love to see the evidence, because I don't know anywhere it says that.

Here's a link to the DSM saying that pwCDDs often experience hallucinations, and does clarify that these hallucinations are usually accompanied by a different type of delusion than in cases of schizophrenia or personality disorders. Is this what you were aiming for?

This is another good one. I hope these links work, but they may break -- lmk!

Fifth: You said you're familiar with complex dissociative disorders, but you also said you had to google it in your reply to me on SAS. When you are in an educational space, you need to know the terms being used -- and if you don't know, I don't think the proper course of action is to use a term you don't understand. I think the proper course of action is to ask for clarification.

^-- This isn't asking for clarification.

You were corrected on initial information, and you lashed out because you didn't like how the correction came (tone policing is always a bit frustrating; I'm sorry you didn't take SAS's reply to be genuine originially and took it in bad faith, but to then say in the response to the other mod that you expect better from "a pro-syscourse-conversation blog" when it was you who misinterpreted? It gets frustrating how often bad faith is assumed in CDD spaces.) Then, you "corrected" the information to be more incorrect; then the user who corrected you originally corrected you again, and you got angry about them doing so. You sent them an inbox ask about how you don't even participate in syscourse, you sent this reply, and... It just speaks to you not knowing the space you're in.

I'm not sure why someone, in this situation, who knows the term complex dissociative disorder, would assume that SAS had meant childhood disruptive disorder. That to me speaks to you not understanding the terminology being used in these spaces -- and while that's okay, you need to be willing to ask for help from those correcting you, or for clarification. Not... google it, then yell at them for your misunderstandings.

Then you came and sent this ask to me...

Sixth:

This is my icon picture. Just. Tossing this out there. I'm not blatant about it, but I use this icon a lot, particularly after a few close friends reached out to ask if I wanted to join their blog and help them review/edit posts, since I tend to be a bit better with editing grammar and helping people come across with their genuine feelings. This is related. 100%. I'm just not really public about it.

Anyways.

Lastly:

I do genuinely hope you're doing well. You made a simple mistake, and you got around 100 notes on the post because of that. It happens! Mistakes happen, and while it's frustrating, and yes people are going to be upset about it...

It's just a mistake.

A long, long time ago, I created a DID centered blog that was dedicated to educating people on DID, and it was using what I had researched "based on my own experiences." I made a post about "the differences between MPD and DID" because I was uneducated. I was then nearly harassed off the platform, deleted all evidence of that post, and I still hold trauma from that event until this day.

I don't want you to think that's what's happening here.

SAS was genuinely trying to correct you, because what you were saying was genuinely harmful to a lot of systems. I convinced myself for years that I had some other disorder going on due to my hallucinations and delusions, that I was just schizophrenic, because so many people said DID doesn't have hallucinations and delusions. But they do. You've been provided sources that say they do. And I'm glad to see you've corrected your mistake.

Now keep going. Keep researching. And be open to correction. I like that you've made a post saying that you prefer if people correct you via messager, because that helps reduce your fear and mental duress. I really hope people take you up on it. I will take you up on correcting you via replies, if you'd like, because I genuinely hate tumblr messeger, it's so bad.

And hey.

Maybe take a small break. Go, relax, get a yummy drink, play some roblox or minecraft or other videogame of choice. These spaces are high intensity traumatized spaces, and it can be a lot. I know this post is likely going to heighten those emotions.

Just work on riding that wave and feeling it. It'll be okay, genuinely.

Good luck out there <3

[themewsatten]

Very tearful when I opened this today. I write fan fiction with no delusions of being anything more than a mediocre writer. And, actually, I’m kind of OK with that. I try to improve all the time, obviously, but I’m someone who’s made peace with being middle of the road. I’ll never top any lists, but the process makes me happy, and I think that’s enough.

So when someone contacts me to let me know they’ve enjoyed one of my stories, obviously I’m thrilled. It bringing joy to me is one thing, but for it to create a bit of joy for someone else is much nicer. Positive feedback, given without any expectation of anything in return, is a gift; it’s kind and it’s heartwarming and there’s not enough kind and heartwarming in the world.

Imagine how proud and grateful I feel that the brilliant, not *at all* mediocre @dotsaremycomfortzone chose to print and bind a copy of my God’s Own Country AU, ‘Safe’. I’m still in disbelief that she thought it was good enough to be worth bothering her intricate, exquisite talent with, but being able to look at it and touch it makes me feel good about the sheer amount of hard work and vulnerability I put into that story. It may be an infinitesimally small achievement compared to many others out there, but holding this beautiful little book, it feels massive to me, like something I still can’t quite believe I’m capable of doing, even in a flawed way.

This arrived about an hour ago and it’s already one of my most precious treasures. It’s something I can pull out and gaze at when my confidence as a writer is a tripping hazard in hell (often!). It is a beautiful thing, beautifully done, and means an enormous amount to me.

Give @dotsaremycomfortzone a follow to see what she’s about. What an extraordinary talent. I cannot thank her enough.

[yuriko-mukami]

A month earlier, despite her current condition, Yuriko went through the trouble to make Ruki homemade chocolates. Proud that she had finally managed it, Ruki enjoyed every bite of the tart sweetness.

Today it was Ruki's turn to give Yuriko something in return. Of course, he also wanted to gift her homemade sweets. For this reason, the vampire sneaked into the kitchen in the middle of the night. Fortunately, he was good at getting out of bed without waking his wife.

Did Yuriko know how often Ruki did this when he could not sleep? Shaking off the thought, Ruki set to work and created a somewhat unusual sweet temptation. Not many people would enjoy these chocolates, but the dark-haired man knew his wife would.

Once the work was done, Ruki wrapped the white matcha chocolates in a pretty gift box. The first rays of sunlight crept through the window. Now the vampire had to hurry. He quickly teleported to bed. Holding the gift in one hand, he leaned over the kitsune and kissed her forehead. "Good morning, my angel. Time to get up."

As Yuriko's eyes slowly fluttered open, he smiled at the sleepy beauty. "Did you sleep well?" It took a brief moment for the young woman to wake up properly. However, Ruki waited patiently. After a while, he sat up and held out the gift.

"Happy White Day, Yuriko."

Eh? …time to… get up? The words echoed in Yuriko’s mind. Her head felt still fuzzy but she fluttered her eyes open, meeting Ruki’s gaze. Why was he already dressed up in the day clothes?

Yuriko nodded her answer to Ruki’s question and yawned, hastily covering her mouth with her hand. She pressed her elbows on the mattress and pushed her body into a more upright position. Rubbing her eyes and ruffling her hair, she tried to gather her thoughts and get a grasp of what was going on.

When Ruki handed out the gift box, the realization finally hit Yuriko. The White Day had come! “Oh my gosh, Ruki! That’s so… You shouldn’t have… not for me…”

Blinking, Yuriko shook her head, making her curls dance around her face. This wasn’t the reaction Ruki wished from her and, to tell the truth, Yuriko was happy that he had remembered the day and was now gifting her something. Usually, she didn’t expect anything but the White Day was a bit different since it was a direct sign of mutual affection to get something from the person whom you have gifted in the Valentine’s Day. So, Ruki making the effort made Yuriko’s heart bounce a bit louder and a genuine smile curl on her lips.

“I mean… thank you so much, Ruki. You went all this trouble for me. I’m so grateful.” Crawling even into a more comfortable position, Yuriko met Ruki’s gaze. Slowly, she lifted the lid of the box and peeked in. “Ruki! Are these… white chocolate with matcha? Thank you! I already love them!”

Yuriko picked up one of the chocolate balls and took a bite from it. “Oh my!” She covered her mouth, looking directly into Ruki’s eyes. “So delicious!” She pushed the rest of the ball into her mouth, savoring it while it melted on her tongue.

Putting the box on the nightstand, Yuriko leaned in. It wasn’t as easy as it had used to be. Lately, it had felt like her belly was in the way every time she was moving. But of course, for a good reason, so it didn’t occur to her to complain about the matter. 

Yuriko lifted her hand and brushed Ruki’s cheek with her fingertips, before reaching for him and placing a kiss on his lips. “Thank you, Ruki. This is perfect.”

Suddenly, Yuriko felt roaming and something hit her belly from the inside. She couldn’t hold in a giggle. Grabbing Ruki’s hand, she pressed it on her stomach. “I… I… think she likes the chocolates too. You made both of us very happy.”