#but those experiences actually feel very special in a way i cant explain so i'd prefer to keep those private

[townslore]

if you're comfortable, i would love to know more about the akechi npd headcanon. i think it's a rlly interesting take on his character and i wanna learn more abt npd bc i have bpd and ig im interested in what people experience with the other cluster b personality disorders? i just kinda wanna know why you think he has it and also maybe some of the mental stuff he has to experience with it. doesn't have to be detailed or personal i dont wanna make u uncomfy! i just cant stop thinking abt this hc haha :)

im actually on a mental health break right now, but this ask intrigued me so im answering it anyway. first off thank you for staying kind throughout the whole thing :)

its kind of hard for me to really describe why i think a character has/is something, because things like personality disorders are still a wide spectrum and every person experiences things differently, and i dont wanna make it seem like theres a one-way to have npd, but im gonna try anyway!

there is a site which helped me immensely throughout my self-diagnosis, so if you want to read more about the topic than what im gonna say here, here u go:

lets start simple and the thing that makes it most obvious to me: the engine room dialogue.

people with npd can heavily rely on other people for their self-esteem, because narcissists usually have a very low one. thats why they take on many tasks ("i was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image—so someone would want me around!") and might overwork themselves for more praise and acknowledgement ("you wanted to be acknowledged, didn't you? to be loved?") because its what they need to not constantly crash. a crash is something that happens when you dont get enough supply—which can be words of affection, praise, acknowledgement, etc—and you internalize it, doubt yourself, feel disgusting and generally you get to a really low point. this is just speculation, but i can see goro having a ton of those, especially during the time the phantom thieves get popular and he becomes public enemy nr 1. thats also why i drew him thinking "i really need supply rn but i'd rather die than ask for attention" because vulnerability is also a big thing people with npd can struggle with. we dont want to be seen as weak—our narcissism is essentially a shield, so we're seen as tough, when in reality, our egos can be very fragile.

one thing that the engine room makes very clear and also other interactions goro has with akira, is that hes very envious of others who have had it better than him. especially someone like akira, who was thrown away by society just like he was, was able to move past it, found friends and is acknowledged by many people. goro is jealous of it all, and thats the thing; people with npd can feel like they're supposed to be special ( and to me, with goro explaining how he got his personas, and how he often calls others stupid, its clear that he does feel that way about himself to a certain degree ) and anyone who threatens that status, anyone who seems much more special than we are is seen as a legitimate threat. its an ugly feeling and it can make us hate even those we love for some time.

this attributes to dysregulation of our emotions too. people with npd often feel their emotions, especially negative ones, way more intense than they actually should be and have difficulty calming down due to that. negative emotions often linger for a long period of time and its hard to move on so we hold grudges. now this might come to no surprise to anyone that goro is a very angry and sad person. especially in the engine room its clear that even after the others extend their hands out to him, its difficult for him to comprehend and he still acts rather mean and calls them idiots for trying to "save" him. when someone with npd is experiencing a multitude of negative emotions, it may cause them to avoid other people or act aggressive towards them because they feel trapped. theres many explanations as to why goro is the way he is in the 3rd semester, and i dont think only one of them has to be correct, but i do think that with the knowledge of whats happening ( like: being under the control of someone else again, or having to work with people who are unpredictable and who have seen you at your lowest point ) makes him act out to keep all of them, especially akira, at bay.

in the duel against akira—im sorry i cant really quote it, i just have a general idea of it in my head rn—i read what he says in a way that makes it clear that he struggles with a superiority AND inferiority complex, which sounds stupid at first i know, but its fairly easy to explain. like i already said, a narcissist's self-esteem is usually pretty low and we rely on others to know how to feel about ourselves. theres two traits of npd that are necessary traits to have: being self-centered and feeling entitled to good treatment, and seeking admiration from others/liking to be the center of attention. so there is some kind of superiority complex going on, at least thats what i would call it in goro's ( and my ) case. we can feel on top of the world in one moment, but once we have a crash or experience intense negative emotions, its back to being the worst human being on earth. i dont think its ooc to say that goro hates himself, as some like to claim he only ever thinks hes better than everyone else. i think that just attributes to harmful stigma. with everything goro experiences in life, coping with narcissism to hide a fragile sense of being just makes sense to me.

theres more i could probably add here but this thing is long enough as is. please do keep in mind that many of my headcanons for goro are me projecting—but that doesnt mean theres no basis for it in canon as well, as i've tried to explain here. at first i actually thought he could have bpd, but i dont know enough about it to really judge that—so it could still very well be that, or both, i dont really know how it works! im rather new to this as well, and at first i was scared of doing any research because npd is so heavily stigmatized. i wish there were more people like you, anon.

if you have any more questions feel free to ask them :)

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

not all statues are unearthed, many smaller ones have been found sitting in the middle of clearings or leaned against trees, and we do have them wash ashore from time to time. there are a lot of families in the area who are known for woodworking, glass blowing, blacksmithing, etc. and have been here for many generations, so the possibility of "who" is rather muddled. a lot of people have the means or know where to find the supplies—and have enough workspace to hide them if any new statues are being produced in town.

there was a teacher at the elementary school who only lived in the area for a year. she had no family here, did not grow up in the area, and didn't go into town much. she was also very beautiful—she had a few rumors following her around, mostly perpetuated by the children a few grades below. i was already in high school by then, so i didn't hear many specifics. from what i've gathered, it seems rumors of this nature were far more common when my parents were younger.

what has become more popular is the use of cursed statues to scare children out of the woods at night. many of my friends growing up were told that if they went into the woods after sundown, they would be turned to stone. it seemed to dip a little between the 90s and early 00s, but this has become a lot more common with parents now. i don't have the specifics on this either; i'm not sure if the forest is meant to turn people to stone or if something else is out there are catching people when they're alone. it may vary between households or family stories.

i never go searching more out of fear for the people who are most often out and about in the woods, but i was willing to make an exception for speedwagon. alas, he was gone before i had a day off to search. i may have been inclined to take him home with me had he still been there.

if you have any spooky stories of your own, i would love to hear them. has anything local to you inspired something specific from the werewolf pack AU?

— ⚓️

that's so fuckin wild ur neck of the woods sounds very liminal

but YES please be careful of going out in the woods, speedwagon would want u to be safe!!! let us know if u hear any updates about him 👀

hmmm good question... the overall vibe is definitely influenced by where i grew up, it's set in one of said weird little forest towns but because it's modern fantasy most of the spooky stuff is just like, normal lol. what i've been hammering out too is that the protagonist is a spirit medium, so there's lots of ghosty stuff but it's not framed in a scary way because the protagonist isn't scared by it y'know

but maybe i'll add in some specifics from my own forest experiences, like i was convinced that this wildly overgrown little patch behind my house would lead to somewhere else entirely and that the deer knew you. like, knew you. like your fuckin soul or some shit. little infrastructure also meant very few street lights so most roads would be pitch black at night (not to mention silent and empty) which, as a kid, scared me for both supernatural and mundane reasons. plus the hauntings, like it's not forest-specific for buildings close to graveyards to be haunted but i swearsies that the entire tone is different when it's ghosts from graveyards in the woods (also this town i grew up in had.... quite some space set aside for graves considering how small it was but maybe im overthinking it)