#but those experiences actually feel very special in a way i cant explain so i'd prefer to keep those private

[townslore]

if you're comfortable, i would love to know more about the akechi npd headcanon. i think it's a rlly interesting take on his character and i wanna learn more abt npd bc i have bpd and ig im interested in what people experience with the other cluster b personality disorders? i just kinda wanna know why you think he has it and also maybe some of the mental stuff he has to experience with it. doesn't have to be detailed or personal i dont wanna make u uncomfy! i just cant stop thinking abt this hc haha :)

im actually on a mental health break right now, but this ask intrigued me so im answering it anyway. first off thank you for staying kind throughout the whole thing :)

its kind of hard for me to really describe why i think a character has/is something, because things like personality disorders are still a wide spectrum and every person experiences things differently, and i dont wanna make it seem like theres a one-way to have npd, but im gonna try anyway!

there is a site which helped me immensely throughout my self-diagnosis, so if you want to read more about the topic than what im gonna say here, here u go:

lets start simple and the thing that makes it most obvious to me: the engine room dialogue.

people with npd can heavily rely on other people for their self-esteem, because narcissists usually have a very low one. thats why they take on many tasks ("i was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image—so someone would want me around!") and might overwork themselves for more praise and acknowledgement ("you wanted to be acknowledged, didn't you? to be loved?") because its what they need to not constantly crash. a crash is something that happens when you dont get enough supply—which can be words of affection, praise, acknowledgement, etc—and you internalize it, doubt yourself, feel disgusting and generally you get to a really low point. this is just speculation, but i can see goro having a ton of those, especially during the time the phantom thieves get popular and he becomes public enemy nr 1. thats also why i drew him thinking "i really need supply rn but i'd rather die than ask for attention" because vulnerability is also a big thing people with npd can struggle with. we dont want to be seen as weak—our narcissism is essentially a shield, so we're seen as tough, when in reality, our egos can be very fragile.

one thing that the engine room makes very clear and also other interactions goro has with akira, is that hes very envious of others who have had it better than him. especially someone like akira, who was thrown away by society just like he was, was able to move past it, found friends and is acknowledged by many people. goro is jealous of it all, and thats the thing; people with npd can feel like they're supposed to be special ( and to me, with goro explaining how he got his personas, and how he often calls others stupid, its clear that he does feel that way about himself to a certain degree ) and anyone who threatens that status, anyone who seems much more special than we are is seen as a legitimate threat. its an ugly feeling and it can make us hate even those we love for some time.

this attributes to dysregulation of our emotions too. people with npd often feel their emotions, especially negative ones, way more intense than they actually should be and have difficulty calming down due to that. negative emotions often linger for a long period of time and its hard to move on so we hold grudges. now this might come to no surprise to anyone that goro is a very angry and sad person. especially in the engine room its clear that even after the others extend their hands out to him, its difficult for him to comprehend and he still acts rather mean and calls them idiots for trying to "save" him. when someone with npd is experiencing a multitude of negative emotions, it may cause them to avoid other people or act aggressive towards them because they feel trapped. theres many explanations as to why goro is the way he is in the 3rd semester, and i dont think only one of them has to be correct, but i do think that with the knowledge of whats happening ( like: being under the control of someone else again, or having to work with people who are unpredictable and who have seen you at your lowest point ) makes him act out to keep all of them, especially akira, at bay.

in the duel against akira—im sorry i cant really quote it, i just have a general idea of it in my head rn—i read what he says in a way that makes it clear that he struggles with a superiority AND inferiority complex, which sounds stupid at first i know, but its fairly easy to explain. like i already said, a narcissist's self-esteem is usually pretty low and we rely on others to know how to feel about ourselves. theres two traits of npd that are necessary traits to have: being self-centered and feeling entitled to good treatment, and seeking admiration from others/liking to be the center of attention. so there is some kind of superiority complex going on, at least thats what i would call it in goro's ( and my ) case. we can feel on top of the world in one moment, but once we have a crash or experience intense negative emotions, its back to being the worst human being on earth. i dont think its ooc to say that goro hates himself, as some like to claim he only ever thinks hes better than everyone else. i think that just attributes to harmful stigma. with everything goro experiences in life, coping with narcissism to hide a fragile sense of being just makes sense to me.

theres more i could probably add here but this thing is long enough as is. please do keep in mind that many of my headcanons for goro are me projecting—but that doesnt mean theres no basis for it in canon as well, as i've tried to explain here. at first i actually thought he could have bpd, but i dont know enough about it to really judge that—so it could still very well be that, or both, i dont really know how it works! im rather new to this as well, and at first i was scared of doing any research because npd is so heavily stigmatized. i wish there were more people like you, anon.

if you have any more questions feel free to ask them :)

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

not all statues are unearthed, many smaller ones have been found sitting in the middle of clearings or leaned against trees, and we do have them wash ashore from time to time. there are a lot of families in the area who are known for woodworking, glass blowing, blacksmithing, etc. and have been here for many generations, so the possibility of "who" is rather muddled. a lot of people have the means or know where to find the supplies—and have enough workspace to hide them if any new statues are being produced in town.

there was a teacher at the elementary school who only lived in the area for a year. she had no family here, did not grow up in the area, and didn't go into town much. she was also very beautiful—she had a few rumors following her around, mostly perpetuated by the children a few grades below. i was already in high school by then, so i didn't hear many specifics. from what i've gathered, it seems rumors of this nature were far more common when my parents were younger.

what has become more popular is the use of cursed statues to scare children out of the woods at night. many of my friends growing up were told that if they went into the woods after sundown, they would be turned to stone. it seemed to dip a little between the 90s and early 00s, but this has become a lot more common with parents now. i don't have the specifics on this either; i'm not sure if the forest is meant to turn people to stone or if something else is out there are catching people when they're alone. it may vary between households or family stories.

i never go searching more out of fear for the people who are most often out and about in the woods, but i was willing to make an exception for speedwagon. alas, he was gone before i had a day off to search. i may have been inclined to take him home with me had he still been there.

if you have any spooky stories of your own, i would love to hear them. has anything local to you inspired something specific from the werewolf pack AU?

— ⚓️

that's so fuckin wild ur neck of the woods sounds very liminal

but YES please be careful of going out in the woods, speedwagon would want u to be safe!!! let us know if u hear any updates about him 👀

hmmm good question... the overall vibe is definitely influenced by where i grew up, it's set in one of said weird little forest towns but because it's modern fantasy most of the spooky stuff is just like, normal lol. what i've been hammering out too is that the protagonist is a spirit medium, so there's lots of ghosty stuff but it's not framed in a scary way because the protagonist isn't scared by it y'know

but maybe i'll add in some specifics from my own forest experiences, like i was convinced that this wildly overgrown little patch behind my house would lead to somewhere else entirely and that the deer knew you. like, knew you. like your fuckin soul or some shit. little infrastructure also meant very few street lights so most roads would be pitch black at night (not to mention silent and empty) which, as a kid, scared me for both supernatural and mundane reasons. plus the hauntings, like it's not forest-specific for buildings close to graveyards to be haunted but i swearsies that the entire tone is different when it's ghosts from graveyards in the woods (also this town i grew up in had.... quite some space set aside for graves considering how small it was but maybe im overthinking it)

[skyprincess212]

Wait. Before I go. Heres a reupload of my little space QnA with some updated answers.

Do you sleep with a stuffie? Mhmm. I sleep with a panda and a bunny and 2 reindeer

Do you have a CG/daddy? Nope. I'm not looking either. I do have a friend I'm talking to but I dont think they'd be interested because of my whole situation right now

How many stuffies do you have: I only have like 10 here and then about 20 at my mom’s house

Favorite time of the year: Wintr cuz its my birthday and christmas but santa is supr dupr scary cuz hes supr tall and stuff and he smells weerd

Favorite disney princess/prince: Repenzel cuz shes from tangled

Favorite little space sweet/candy: cheetos puffs

What do you do while in little space? I play the sims or runescape. Sometimes i’ll color but a lot of the time i just wanna cuddle

Stuffies or blankies: i got both

Favorite animal: cat

Favorite hobby: listening to music

Favorite disney movie: Tangled cuz the mosick is supr pretty and i can sing a lot of the songs

Do you use a paci: I used to have these really cute hello kitty ones but my ex found them and cut them up and set them on fire. I have one from the dollar tree but i’ve hidden it a lot better now

Do you use diapers: no but im sort of curious

Favorite color: blu and pink

Whats your zodiac sign: capricorn

Describe your ideal little date: ok so. They’d dress me up supr dupr cut. Then we’d go to the park and feed ducks and do nauhaty stuff and then we’d go to the mall and go shopping and then we’d go and have dinner where they’d order for me because im too little and cant red and then we’d go hoome and do nauhaty stuff and then we’d watch disny movies while eating ic cream and then id be the little spoon on the bed while they red me a story and then we’d fall aslep with him holdin me all tigt and warm like a little coocoon

Build a bear or disney stores: disny

Do you participate in pet play and if so which animal? Mhmm yes i do. I’m mainly a kitee

Do you have a blankie: mhmm its reely big and blu and soft and warm

What is your little/middle age range: Little age is from 2-7, middle age is about 9-12. 

Do you have any pets: mhmm a black kitee named raven

Favorite tv shows: i only have Netflix so money heist, atypical, and supernatural. I kind of like word party too tbh

Favorite game: the sims

Favorite disney character: Pascal. Repenzels frog

Favorite tv show character: maybe Dean??

What do you eat when its snack time: cheetos and chips

One little space thing you want: i really really want an actual paci from those little space websites so i dont feel like im biting my tongue all the time. Or maybe a cut pink and blu paddel with either ��Sir” or “Daddy” on it for nauhaty stuff

One unique thing about you: I can sing really well and i know a lot of songs

Favorite little activity: making sims while drinkin juice but then i gotta pe real bad cuz juice makes me gotta pe

What would your dream playroom/bedroom look like? Well little me wants greyish with pastels to make everything look cute but gothic. Cute everything. That’s for the bedroom. Ideally, id want my own room and id only be allowed into the main bedroom if i was told to be. That way, they can stay with me until I fall asleep and have other people over if they want. It would be filled with toys both innocent and not so innocent. A lot of books since I love to read. Maybe a little computer area too

Talk about someone special: I dont have anyone like that right now.

Favorite little space drink: apple juice

Whats your little space name: i dont really have a set name. Just call me whatever you want

Last picture you colored: i’m not sure where the coloring book went or else id show you

What are your fears: that no one actually loves me and everything is just one giant lie. That people won’t except me for who i am. That this is all just a dream like in the matrix or something

Are you a little 24/7? I really really want to be but i do have sub space too and occastionally Domme space too since i’m a switch. Well… its like 80% submissive/little and 20% Domme. But yeah if i could live the lifestyle 24/7 i would

Favorite smell: popcorn

What always puts you in little space? sammich and lollipops. I really wanna watch it together with my friend. He liks thm too I think

Whats your little nighttime routine? Ok so nauhaty stuff and then help me brush my teeth and brush my hair and help me put pjs on and then sleepy time

Whats your morning routine? idk I dissociate half the time so i have no clue

Do you have a favorite sippy cup? I don’t have any right now. I’ve been kind of scared to get any since my abuser found all my little space stuff. That was not a fun time

Favorite dessert: cupcakes or oreos. 

Favorite little space song: i see the light from tangled. I sing it supr good and its supr pretty and its the best

Do you have any little friends? yup. I got a couple

How long have you been a little? since i was 19

How did you discover you were a little? my abuser was yelling and screaming at me as usual and i just kind of slipped into little space. I was like wtf is happening. I then looked up what happened and i guess i used it to cope with my abuse at first

Are you open about it? Sort of. Some friends on Facebook know

Does anyone in real life know that your a little? I don’t think so

Do you have any little gear: mhmm and some pet play stuff too. I have one good collar and leash. I have some collars and chokers. Some paws, I used to have a tail but Josiah stole it and won’t give it back. I have a ton of skirts and dresses but only a couple are really for little space. Most of the rest of them put me into subspace because of how short or tight they are

Funniest experience in little space: so my mom called me once and since I was in little space I couldn’t talk very well especially not in full sentences so she just hung out and said she’d call me later

Worst experience in little space: I was raped and beaten up by my abuser. It was the day he found out about me being a little

Cg’s nickname: I dont have one but I'd call them 'sir' or 'daddy'

Favorite cartoon: either adventure time or the grim adventures of billy and mandy

Explain your username: my name is Sky and I'm a princess duh

Favorite little outfit: i wear my pink dino onsie

Dream little outfit: just a cute little gothic pastel baby

Hardest cg rule to follow: i dont really have any rules and the ones that i do have are really easy to follow

What makes you happy in little space? Being told im the cutest babee grl ever. It makes me squeal and giggle and blush or when I get called cuti or um idk

What makes you sad in little space? When my friend and I cant talk :(