#but this way i'm having fun but then sometimes comes up in dialogue that contradicts earlier games

[bellara-lutare]

this is more personal taste but veilguard is so conflicting for me cause on one hand it's a great game, i like the characters and the combat and even the (sometimes) cringey dialogue, but on the other hand as a nitpicky lore obsessed person it's doing such a shit job at handling pre existing dragon age lore

[thankssteveditko]

An overly-simplified introduction to the "Marvel Method"

As I begin to cover Amazing Spider-Man, it's probably worth explaining the basics of this up front for anyone who isn't aware. Over on Thanks Ken Penders, I talk about comics generally made the "traditional" way. A writer writes a detailed script, and then it's handed off to the art team to draw what the script says, with perhaps a bit of interpretive wiggle room. That's what you'd expect, right? But back in the '60s, Marvel developed their own creative method that came to be known as... well, the Marvel Method.

It varied from team to team, but the steps of the Marvel Method (or the "plot script" method) are basically this:

The "writer" comes up with a basic synopsis of the story - not a full script

The "penciller" takes that synopsis and draws up the full story, determining the specifics of what actually happens

Finally, the art is handed back to the writer, who comes up with the dialogue based on what the artist has decided to draw

The argument for this process is that a comic artist should be a strong storyteller as well, and that the artist may know how to break the action down panel-by-panel better than a writer would. In reality, the actual explanation is that Stan Lee was working on way too many comics at once in the '60s, and so he offloaded some of the burden of storytelling to artists Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko because... well, they were Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko.

It should probably not be surprising that the Marvel Method created a lot of problems.

For one, before long, Kirby and Ditko were basically just plotting whatever they wanted for Fantastic Four and Spider-Man, then letting Stan fill in the dialogue... but Stan was still getting full credit as writer, making it seem like the stories were all his doing. (He would eventually start giving them credit for plotting.) Even when Stan did give them plots like he was supposed to, sometimes they'd go do something wildly different anyway. Stan intended to make the Green Goblin an ancient Egyptian demon found in a sarcophagus by a film crew, but Steve basically went "I'm not fucking doing that" and made him a human villain instead. Can you imagine a comic artist going completely rogue like that in this day and age? It's nuts! (But also, Ditko made the right call there.)

Because Stan had the final say when it came to dialogue, this also meant he could directly contradict the intent of the artists. Hilariously, I've found anecdotes about Stan both watering down Ditko's later attempts at giving Peter increasingly Objectivist views and also removing references to the ideology from a Kirby story seemingly intended to make fun of Objectivism. But while these examples are funny when juxtaposed like that, on the whole it's easy to understand how frustrating it is to have Stan Lee swooping in at the last second and completely changing the meaning of your story, then taking the credit for writing it.

Is it any wonder that Kirby and Ditko both felt they weren't being given their proper due at Marvel and left for other companies? Is it any wonder that the Marvel Method isn't used much in the modern age? But, basically, this method and this history of improper crediting are why it's difficult to determine exactly who did what for a lot of these early Spider-Man comics.

[vriskarlmarx]

gimme F, G, I and S for the fic ask game! (my condolences re: the zoom meeting. i know your pain o7)

thanks for the distraction o7

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This is such a fun question! I had a very tough time writing the dialogue in Synthesis of Vast Contradictions (Star Trek, Christine Chapel/T'Pring) because writing a vulcan talking in general is already challenging enough, let alone T'Pring specifically, let alone T'Pring flirting lmao but in the end I really like how it turned out! I'm proud of the way the conversation flows between them and conveys both tension and playfulness, and it ended up being some of my favorite dialogue I've written so far. Here is a snippet:

“What do you find so interesting about us?”

“The intensity,” she answers instantly. “Underneath all that logic, or maybe because of it, you’re so intense about everything. It’s kind of —” insanely hot “— magnetic, actually. What do you find interesting about humans?”

T’Pring considers the question for a moment.

“Your capacity to surprise me. I have gotten better at predicting and understanding Spock’s behavior and, as such, better at predicting and understanding human behavior. The naked emotionality of it is no longer what I find most puzzling, I think I have come to understand that most of all, but the contradictions that are present in each person, pulling them in different directions is fascinating. Hedonism and altruism, for example, coexist in you. You are the synthesis of vast contradictions.”

Christine looks at T’Pring’s lips for a moment, shiny with droplets of the qturh drink. “Hedonism and altruism… we’re pleasure-seekers with a heart of gold, then?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes. Of course, each individual is different. Do you find that to be true about yourself?”

“Pleasure-seeker… yes,” Christine laughs. “Guilty as charged on that front. But,” she takes a moment to look at T’Pring again, and her stomach coils around itself. She tries her best to keep her tone light, teasing, “I’m not so sure about the heart of gold.”

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Generally speaking start to finish, but occasionally I'll do out of order if I had an idea for a specific scene that inspired me and I'm having a hard time introducing the context around that scene. In those cases I'll sometimes start with the scene I had the original idea for and then backtrack to what needs to be shown before that.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I haven't experienced true guilt since I was like 13 I don't think. Plenty of pleasure however 😌😌😌

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Hehe, good question. I tend to hop around fandoms a lot so it really depends on the fandom. For DN though I really like the darker tropes that crop up, like when L and Light are openly horny for murder, or commit straight up acts of necrophilia to each other, and on a similar but separate vein when Mello and Near do freaky sexual things with guns and other weapons 👍 Also I really, really love when people get really fucked up with Wammy’s House, like portraying it as Quillsh Wammy’s Personal Child Abuse Machine, or generally portraying Watari as a morally questionable if not straight up bad man 😌🥰

[bluegekk0]

how do approach basically rewriting a canon-

Hm I'm not sure if rewriting canon is what I do. Maybe in some areas, mostly when it comes to character deaths, but I try to keep the known and confirmed details from the original story mostly unchanged, and just write around them, if that makes sense.

Most of my AU is just filling blanks, really. Sometimes it means that I have to change some details about the canon elements to make things coherent, but I try to make the general idea still similar. For example, Grimm and his Troupe are probably the biggest departures from how they're implied to work in canon, but the death and rebirth cycle is so crucial to those characters that I kept it, albeit in a loose adaptation form.

FPK is a very self indulgent adaptation of PK, but we don't know a lot about canon PK, so 99% of that is stuff I came up with. I suppose him being gay and divorcing WL could be seen as rewriting canon? But then again, they're not together in the game (sure, it's because PK is dead, but still), we don't know when exactly WL left the palace, and we don't have a confirmation of PK's sexuality, so my AU isn't exactly rewriting that. His relationship with Grimm is also in that "they could've known each other, we're never told one way or another" territory, just pushed to the extreme. Really, the game has a lot of lore, but there are twice as many blanks to fill. What was PK like before the infection? What was his relationship with WL like? What does Grimm do between rituals, if anything? What occured to separate the nightmare and dream realms, as it was mentioned in the game? What were wyrms like, are they gone? If so, why?

You see what I mean? If you want to explore the characters, there is still a lot to come up with. You don't necessarily have to rewrite things to explore these characters however you want.

For example, FPK and WL were married, just like in the game. But I decided to write their relationship as pretty toxic and to eventually separate them. It doesn't change much about WL that we meet in the game, aside from maybe tiny bits of dialogue (but her loving her husband doesn't have to contradict her treating him poorly, if she did it without realizing like she did in my AU).

Sometimes I end up omitting some things, if they overcomplicate or contradict the story I came up with. Mostly those minor things, like Brumm banishing the Troupe (since this is one of two endings for the quest, I just pretend that one didn't happen).

I go by the idea that canon is just suggestions and rough guidelines, not rules. If one was to just focus on what we know, there would be a lot of blanks that still need to be filled in with original ideas if you want a consistent narrative. Sometimes you end up focusing more on those filled blanks than the canon elements, which is what I did, to the point where, in some ways, I see the AU as its own spin-off of sorts, something not exactly connected to the game's canon, just kind of its own thing, but one that keeps crucial canon elements as foundation. Basically just fully using the term "alternate universe" to my advantage.

And sometimes you just make stuff up and ignore the canon. That's also an option, if you prefer that. In those cases, just have fun, really. That's all the advice I can give. Remember. Guidelines, not rules. The toys are there for us to play with, restricting yourself to canon can be fun to some, but not everyone.

[zixzs-ajk]

THE INEVITABLE OPINIONATED SUSELLE RANT PIECE NO ONE ASKED FOR

hey you wanna see me speedrun losing all my followers I'm putting this here as a long-ass 1,600-word examination for why I don't ship Suselle, 'cause that's bound to go over great, lol. But yeah! Now whenever people react to me being critical of the gay doe, I can point them towards this. AHEM.

Foreword: This is the in-depth openly opinionated analysis that I often want to avoid with shipping, but for the sake of discussion and transparency, I’ve tried specifying why Suselle as a ship is not appealing to me personally. The following is not made to shame anyone for liking Suselle, or to apply broad labels, or to shill my own ship preferences or anything like that; it is a look at why Suselle is not interesting and a low-point of Toby Fox’s writing in my eyes. I do not care what other people ship one way or the other and will perpetually advocate for any constructive and creative expression that people have fun making, whether it’s fanart or fanfiction or what have you. These are the words of some random cis bi guy on the internet who’s WAY too invested in a fictional video game involving a gay anthropomorphic doe and her crush on discount bootleg Rule63!Barney, so don’t take it as a personal attack or anything like that. Okay? Okay.  

I find Suselle to be poorly written and executed, with the chief offending reason being that it is excessive and too characterizing without enough build-up. Noelle obviously does not know Susie well enough to warrant such an extreme crush on her (she asks what Susie is like and about her interests, which most people I know would cite as the prerequisites for developing attraction towards someone). When we get into the game, we’re not given any first-hand chemistry or idea of how they interact with each other prior to Susie’s arc in Chapter 1, leaving the majority of any established canon off-screen and less tangible as a result; it’s akin to being told “these two characters have good chemistry” rather than being shown that directly in any exposition or first-hand encounters. It also makes their subsequent shows of chemistry (i.e. the Ferris Wheel ride) feel a little forced; it’s cute, sure, but it doesn’t really feel earned given how little else Susie and Noelle have interacted up to that point compared to how intimate they behave during the actual sequence itself. There’s a dissonance between Noelle’s grounded behavior with Kris compared to how head-over-heels she acts around Susie, and it doesn’t mesh with her personality in a way that feels convincing. 

I define Noelle’s crush as “unhealthy” for a number of reasons; the most egregious example she's known for is for ignoring Susie tormenting Kris as seen in the Sweepstakes, but events like her falsely saying she should be behind Susie to look at her "tail" or generally fetishizing Susie's bullying come to mind as being other offenders. It’s established she doesn’t quite know a whole lot about Susie, relying on this idea of her as a “tormentor” or bully for her most memorable bits of dialogue despite Susie contradicting that idea well after (and even sometimes during) Chapter 1. Noelle’s characterization feels stunted when such a significant part of it is dedicated towards her crush on Susie, and it detracts from the depth of her that we get to see when exploring the City with just her and Kris or the mystery of her mother and Dess. I feel when you have a character who’s most remembered for fantasizing about Susie pushing her over and laughing at her, at a point in the story when it’s already established that isn’t even what Susie’s actual personality is, then it makes it hard to just see it as a “harmless teenage crush.” 

To the people saying “that’s just how teenager crushes are,” A) that’s anecdotal at best and a deflection from the fact of B) It being a “stereotypical teenager crush” does not defend it from being poor writing and actively detracting from Noelle’s depth. Explaining why a character acts the way that they do does not change how that character acts, and Toby just as easily could have given her a more nuanced and distant crush with proper development instead of the immediate fixation Noelle currently has. Her crush isn’t treated as some character flaw and is often portrayed sincerely, giving the effect that we’re narratively expected to go along with her antics and be endeared by how prominently Noelle talks about Susie. I personally don’t find this satisfying, and I would prefer the idea of Noelle learning that Susie isn’t the kind of person Noelle thinks she is and going from there (a confrontation of “why do you want me to bully you?” or an actual natural interaction where their two personalities can play off of each other would do WONDERS in this department). It is entirely possible to portray a teenage crush in a satisfying way while still making it realistic in terms of how they’re inexperienced with love; look at Lumity from The Owl House for the most immediate example. 

To the people saying her crush is a form of escapism given Noelle’s familial circumstances (Rudy in the hospital, Dess being absent, Mayor Holiday likely being neglectful), I agree that’s a good potential point, but that isn’t a theme Toby actually explores in the game despite how much I’d like it to be. There’s plenty of potential and I could see that route being explored in future chapters, but with what we have, there isn’t any tangible theme of Noelle wanting a point of stability among her personal life. Most of her crush is framed as Noelle simply adoring Susie and attempting to get closer to her without having much emotional investment or details to get invested in ourselves, and while I’m all for cute antics, the frequency of how often we’re reminded about “HEY NOELLE REALLY LIKES SUSIE AND HAS A CRUSH ON HER” makes those bits of dialogue seem more obsessive than endearing. Some dialogue from Rudy frames Kris as being the one to “look out for her,” if anything. 

This is the part that’s more difficult to navigate and has attracted the most hostile ire. I hate that I feel the need to clarify this, but obviously, I am in no way homophobic or otherwise against queer relationship representation in media. I mean, hell, She-Ra, Owl House, and Steven Universe have some of my favorite ships of all time, and they don’t get much gayer than that. I myself have been bi and out about it for the better part of my online presence, and I’m eternally grateful that I live in a space conducive to being able to express my orientation. However, I’ve seen time and again instances of people having knee-jerk reactions to accuse others of homophobia just for criticizing any part of the media that even tangentially connects to the LGBTQA+ community, and Noelle’s crush is no exception. I have stated “Noelle being male would alter people’s perceptions of her behavior towards Susie,” and more than a few reactions were quick to assume bigotry at play or it being an “attack on sapphics.” I’d be lying if I said I didn’t expect something like that; based largely on what I’ve personally seen and experienced myself, it seems to be a go-to for internet communities, and doubly so for fandoms with prominent LGBTQA+ presences. 

Yes, I’m confident that the general public would be far less endeared by Noelle pretending she should be behind Susie just to look at her “tail” if it was a male doing that in the same space. I have seen people blast Berdly for his sudden and comical attraction towards Susie near the end of Chapter 2, and then see those same people turn around and praise Noelle despite being just as Susie-oriented in largely the same fashion. Often, when a male character is pining for a female character to an extent that is overtly problematic, the male is seen as a creepy individual and rarely succeeds in wooing the female character, as it has the most narrative satisfaction. Gravity Falls and Adventure Time come to mind as media rife with examples. Being a member of the queer community does not magically make Noelle’s behavior endearing, nor does it excuse Toby for writing her like that, and people being so eager to justify her crush as “just being a teenager thing” sometimes feels like a result of “having to defend a queer character.” You don’t have to defend or justify a characters’ actions just because they’re queer, and being critical of the actions of a queer character is not automatically homophobic. Ironically, criticizing and examining the actions of a queer character against generally heteronormative standards is less problematic than giving queer characters separate standards, I find. 

And that sums up my thoughts on the current state of Suselle! It’s worth reiterating that I still lightly enjoy the ship and have seen copious pieces of incredible work created as a result of it; I just don’t personally like it on a narrative, critical level. At the end of the day, I don’t care what people ship, and being the purveyor of Goats and Dragons for 3+ years I care even less about what is or isn’t canon. If you disagree with all of this and think Suselle is the cutest and most well-realized relationship in all of media, cool! I genuinely mean that; whatever makes people happy and produces some of the cutest goddamned fanart I’ve ever seen can’t be objectively bad. But if you’re going to so rigidly be against actually analyzing and being critical of a fictional gay doe, then it can be largely debilitating for actual discussion when the go-to responses are so inflammatory and missing the point of what makes a character generally interesting and well-realized. 

[experthiese]

WHAT MADE YOU PICK UP THE CURRENT MUSE/S YOU HAVE?

Much like how I started writing my others: I was talking with some friends on discord, expressed an interest in possibly-maybe-perhaps writing him, and was encouraged to do so. That aside, I've been a fan of Lupin III for years, and find Lupin himself to be a fascinating character. It helps that there's a lot of backlog to draw from, each part and movie with its own spin on his Core Characteristics, and as it's constantly retconning and contradicting itself, there's no pressure to be "canon compliant" and up to date on every tiny bit of lore ever introduced.

Do you follow TWCFM? Do you follow Lupin Zero? Do you gloss over it like the main parts do? Do you have your own, headcanon-based idea of how the group all came together?

There's a lot of freedom there. I like that :)

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU DON'T LIKE TO WRITE?

I struggle with one-liners, at least if we actually intend on continuing the interaction. My replies only tend to grow over time, and I need at least a couple sentences to get all of my dialogue out (Lupin likes to yap).

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU REALLY ENJOY WRITING?

Developing relationships is sooooooo fun. Literally nothing like it.

I love love LOVE working with my partners to decide how we're going to take our barbie dolls from their initial vibe to whatever dynamic we've got planned. Sometimes things go even further than we were expecting! Sometimes a whole new direction comes hurtling out of left field and we find a way to work with that. It works with everyone, too-- crossovers, canons, OCs, AUs, even duplicates.

HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH HEADCANONS?

Depends. The big ones are usually because I was rewatching something and found a Fun Little Detail I can expand on and flesh out. Things like the Lupin Empire, for example -- if his father was so clearly en route to building it, why is it absent from Lupin III's life? Outside of two Part 1 references, he's never even mentioned it, much less played any significant role in its development or function. Why is that?

I mean, realistically it's because Lupin Zero was made in 2022 and the show debuted in 1971, and they weren't planning a canon for 51 years into the future. Of course there's going to be inconsistencies.

But in-universe, from the perspective of Lupin III being an individual that exists within his setting... What could explain this? How can I take this inconsistency and use it to add some dimension and depth to his world?

That's usually how it happens, anyway. Other times I just get brain blasts, thoughts beamed into my head direct from god themselves, and I type them up in three sentences or less and press post.

DO YOU WRITE IN SILENCE OR PLAY MUSIC?

Music all the way! I have a Lupin playlist I listen to a lot of the time.

DO YOU PLAN YOUR REPLIES OR WING THEM?

I usually plan out Lupin's vague response, how he's feeling and what options he's likely to weigh up before actually deciding what direction to take my writing. Specific descriptions and things like dialogue are all improvised in the moment, and only really revisited if I'm not feeling the vibe or need to reshuffle the reply about.

Dialogue is always written first.

DO YOU ENJOY SHIPPING?

Yes, and having a muse like Lupin makes shipping pretty important. Sex and romance are a big part of his character and behaviours, and so it follows that ships are likely going to come as a result of that. He's quite the Casanova!

However, platonic shipping is also incredibly fun to explore. Rivals, enemies, "friends of the family", actual friends, coworkers, etc. etc. etc. are all things I'm happy to develop and write more of. I encourage people to come to me with dynamic ideas if they've got something specific in mind.

[daz4i]

if you'd like, list one strength of bsd that you see, and one flaw! and when i say that, i mean that in a literary sense. not "this is something i liked" or "this is something i didn't like" but something that works really well in bsd and something that does not work well in bsd.

(for example, "character designs are unique and recognizable" and "unreliable tone sometimes undermines dramatic moments") ((also SO sorry if i come off like a school-teacher, i'm just very interested in literary appraisals of bsd)

I ACTUALLY HAVE ANSWERS TO THAT LOCKED AND LOADED!

strength: this might be more of my own personal taste tho it IS a literary tool i think; i love how it initially builds up your expectations by making the characters fit very common anime tropes (mostly shonen ones), but as time goes on you start noticing more and more how they subvert these! (I'd also argue the story itself does it. it starts out mostly silly and fun and then boom 3 teenagers get shot up in an alley)

imo it's less about twists and more about adding depth to these characters, bc it's not that the core qualities of the initial trope are gone. you're just adding things that would normally contradict them (for example, atsushi being bitter and sassy and violent despite having shonen protag qualities like determination and the ability to inspire others, or kunikida hating authority and breaking rules despite being the uptight and serious type etc). I'm actually planning to possibly write smth abt that more in depth soon bc i find it fascinating hehe :3

also! I'd say bsd strikes the balance between humor and drama really really well :) at least the manga does hehe. example i can think of is how fyozai in meursault always do some funny thing right before they get down to mind games (or doing the egg and salt thing right before nikolai gets them out of their cells hehe). or how aya and bram's moments cut the tension of this arc for a few minutes, giving you a moment to breathe and laugh for a bit. it makes the pain and tension that come later more impactful imo :)

flaw: oh my god ok this one bothered me from the start. it feels more obvious in the anime than the manga, idk why (maybe bc things genuinely need more explaining in the manga bc the medium makes things less clear?), but. characters explaining things out loud unnecessarily

example that's currently fresh in my mind is mushitaro explaining the jailbreak plan to atsushi and kyouka AFTER they do it, which??!! yeah they were there !!! you don't need to tell kyouka that demon snow lured the soldiers into the wrong safe she's the one who made her do it!!!!!!

the only times i can excuse this is atsushi and akutagawa having dramatic shonen-esque battles like the one on the boat. this just makes them fun. but when it comes to the mystery aspects of the series, i feel like you can definitely find a better way to do it. in the example i gave, they could've waited a bit to explain it, then have ango ask how they did it once they all reach anne's room, bc he was the one bamboozled by it after all, so it makes sense (i assume in the manga it would've caused too long of a wait to reveal the answer which would frustrate readers but. reading the story as a whole, or seeing it in the anime in one episode, it is really glaring)

sometimes there isn't much of a choice but then i would honestly prefer to just hear the character explain it in internal dialogue than say it to a character who already knows it. like this also feels forced but significantly less so imo, and at the end of the day these things DO need to be explained to the audience so. finding a better way to deliver should be smth you put effort into i think

. ok i had that rant ready for literally 10 months now so I'm glad i let it out hehe. this aspect can really take me out of the story 😭 luckily it happens a bit less lately i think? or maybe I'm just more used to it lol. but still thank you for giving me the opportunity to let all this out :P🖤

[winged-paki]

Hi! I really like your fic, I admire the way you write and describe the emotions of the characters. If it's among your possibilities, I would like you to give me some tips for writing (dialogues, scenarios, emotions, narrative arc, etc) I would also like to start writing that way, as if you know the characters personally.

Aww, thank you so much anon! I'm not sure how much concrete advice I can give - I'm not a very experienced writer, especially not when it comes to longer stories like chartreuse - but I can try. Forgive my lack of brevity, I have never once been concise.

I usually write what I know. I write about emotions I've felt before and things that I've been through, and I write dialogue like how I and those around me naturally speak. I try to be an introspective/observant person so I can pick up on how people speak or describe their feelings, and how my own thoughts/emotions manifest in me. All of that makes writing conversations and emotions very clear to me.

I plan out my long stories in advance. Those plans change A LOT... but I think making them in the first place is necessary to keep your story goal-oriented rather than meandering. My plans have three elements: general plot movement, emotional/character arcs, and a scene-by-scene play-out of each chapter. The first and last elements change a lot, but the character arcs usually stay consistent, so I'm able to write those emotional journeys with the endgoal and major moments already in mind.

Perspective is a huge one for me. I think part of conveying a character's emotions is removing the barrier between the character and the audience, even when writing from third person. I try to minimize my use of phrases like "she felt" and "she thought" in emotional moments which kind of pull the audience out of the character's head, and focus on raw hyperbolic imagery, physical sensations, metaphors, and so on like a real-time thought process.

Here's a paragraph I like:

"Normally, they could compartmentalize. They could dissociate. They’d be shaky and skittish, sure, but at least they wouldn’t keep seeing—keep hearing—keep feeling those gutwrenching memories churn in a zoetrope before their eyes and under their skin. That fucking cosplay couple, who Shiver let their guard down around and trusted too much despite Frye’s quiet warning—the way they kissed like hellfire, the way the audience shrieked itself hoarse for them—the way Shiver had felt like their skin was melting, like their blood was boiling oil, the way Frye looked so desolate as she watched, helpless, a corpse walking��"

I tried to show Shiver's panic here through short choppy sentences and jumbled-up ideas and wild imagery. It doesn't quite feel like we're being told how Shiver feels so much as we're experiencing their thoughts ourselves. That, I think, is the difference between the audience knowing how the characters feel and the audience feeling that same shit too.

Regarding emotions, I love contradictions. I think that's the juiciest thing you can do to a character. Frye feeling torn between wanting to be honest to her fans and wanting to support her partner, Shiver feeling torn between loving their partner and fearing intimacy with her, Big Man loving his friends but growing fed up with their bullshit... all this cognitive dissonance can culminate in really explosive fights, dramatic conversations, arguments and makeups, and other fun stuff.

I like to ensure everyone expresses their emotions differently. Shiver compartmentalizes and dissociates. Frye gets anxious and sometimes belligerent. Big Man's anger is quiet and deadly. (At least until the most recent chapter, where Shiver and Frye's "anger styles" switch as a testament to how abnormal they've become.)

I think every scene/scenario should play a legit role in the plot and emotional development of the characters. I construct most scenarios based off how they move plot/characters forward, and also try to ensure I don't become overly repetitive in the situations I show. So that necessitates many settings, characters, behaviors, communication styles, etc.

A big part of how I write like I know the characters personally is spending a lot of time with them. I think about them a lot, even when I'm not writing/planning, and I flesh out their personalities, reactions to situations, interactions with others, etc. in my head. I especially like to focus on what makes my characters different. How are Shiver and Frye different from each other? How are the chartreuse chatroom girls different from each other? Stuff like that.

I'll edit this post if anything more occurs to me <3 sorry for the enormous post, thank you for the question, and I hope this is somewhat helpful to you!

[ltcolonelcarter]

I feel like you've been asked most of these already, so I'm going to go with 19 and 21 please 😊

chaooooooos 💕

19. What is some random info you happen to have that you used in a fic?

I've a pretty decent understanding of chemistry and physics, so for the most part when I'm referencing something of that kind, I'll make it as accurate as possible. that's pretty par for the course, I think. for sixty in a question of time I tried to use feelings of dissociation to show his decline through the loops, the way it affects his thinking and his emotions, but that's less random, I think.

I don't think there's much in the way of random facts I know scattered in my fics - when I was (much) younger and writing I was awful for going off on very long tangents, so I try to avoid digressions. for actual random info, you'll find a lot more hidden information about me in my fics than anything else I think. just small, unnoticeable stuff. habits or preferences or things I like. my favourite colour or time of day. weather I appreciate. that sort of thing.

21. Writer's choice - 10. How do you feel about writing plot, setting/description, inner thoughts, dialogue?

I haven't answered this one, sooooo I'm going to pick it so I can YELL

plot i just LOVE, but I think I enjoy planning it and developing it more than writing it, mostly bc the writing can be SO difficult when you have a very clear idea of what you want and are trying to find a way to make it real. don't get me wrong, I love writing plot stuff, but the (self-imposed) pressure to get it perfect mades it arduous sometimes.

setting i just fucking LOVE. let me walk you around a room and tell you everything about it. I will tell you everything about the place, the people, the mood. I love description for setting a scene, for giving and changing mood with specific word choice. it's usually where I start when writing.

one caveat: I'm pretty uninterested in describing physical appearance in terms of literal features, like eye colour and hair colour, and much prefer to describe them based on vibe, expression, attitude. physical appearance is much less important to me than, say, the way their expression changes when they're surprised, or hiding something. I tend to skip a lot of physical details for that reason. I don't know how annoying that is to read, but I've not had any complaints, and I'd probably carry on as I am regardless bc it suits me and I'm having a ball

inner thoughts are interesting, and I tend to try and pair them with dialogue, I think. I forget to add them sometimes, or maybe try and weave them too much into the narrative depending on the style of prose I'm writing, but they're so useful to present a viewpoint. especially erroneous ones. I love using inner thoughts to contradict something the audience knows to be fact. dramatic irony is a favourite, tbh.

dialogueeeeeeee my LOVE. I really, really love dialogue, even if it's sometimes a NIGHTMARE to write. if it's flowing well and I have a good sense of the 'voice' of the characters I'm writing for, dialogue is one of my favourite things to write. to figure out how characters express themselves! how they interact! how they conceal and reveal themselves!! i'm going to spontaneously combust!!!

I think I'm guilty of spreading out my dialogue a little thinly sometimes, bc I'm often conscious of overusing it... even though, logically, I don't think I come very close to overusing it at all. Plenty of space between for inner thought, perhaps. I love using dialogue a the bridhge between a character's thoughts (who they are to themselves, in their quiet moments) and their actions (how they appear to other people). and it's just so damn exciting to find a character's voice. I know those "they wouldn't fucking say that"/"they WOULD fucking say that" posts circulate regularly, but they're RIGHT. feeling exactly how a character should or should speak, canon or oc, is so much fun.

okay. i'm caught up. i'm off to WRITE SOME MORE.

send me a fanfic ask

[lejaybleu]

the fuck is this blog

wow i'm so glad you asked!

i've spent a longggg ass time on this site (long enough i can't say how long exactly in case you know how to subtract. whoops.) and haven't made a proper intro post for the whole duration. this is it! this is the one. have fun reading this? i guess?

basics

i'm kind of a fandom blog, kinda not? i mostly reblog and don't post original stuff often, but i do occasionally, and that stuff is either just my thoughts or sometimes fandom content. i am part of many, many different fandoms, so if you came here for one thing, expect to see other stuff too! also, i do engage in discourse and post politics. i do understand that some people come here to escape the world we live in, and that is 100% valid, but as an 18 year old american student with not much income to speak of, engaging in civil discourse online is one of the ways i stay politically active since that's accessible to me. if that bothers you, this probably isn't the blog for you!

triggers, tone indicators and nsfw

i'm not going to share my triggers for my own personal safety, and also because they are the kind of thing that get tagged for being fucked up anyways. i am totally willing to tag for triggers myself (i usually use "// [thing]" as a trigger tag, so if you don't have that blocked for the trigger in question, do that!), and usually i remember to tag common triggers. if you have a less common/more general trigger or just one you've seen me not tag for, PLEASE feel free to dm me/send me an ask and i will absolutely start tagging that for you! if you're an existing follower and i post things with your trigger without tagging for it and you'd like me to start tagging, please also feel free to let me know. i'm trying to become better about tagging for triggers and i understand it's important, so just reach out if you have any concerns in that department.

as for tone indicators/tone tags, i sometimes use them and i sometimes don't. if you'd like me to use them more or for specific things, just shoot me a dm or an ask, but know that i am often very forgetful when it comes to tone tags specifically so i can't guarantee anything

i do sometimes reblog nsfw content. i always tag for it- if you have "nsfw"/"// nsfw" blocked you should be all good if that's not stuff you wanna see- but please take this into account before following me and follow at your own discretion. you have been warned

politics

i am a queer radical leftist and a trans-inclusive feminist!! i am primarily a socialist, but anarchocommunism is neat too. i believe all people are people and are deserving of respect, resources they need to live, and resources they need to be happy. i'm pro-choice, pro-bodily autonomy in general for all people (including disabled folks), pro-queer, pro-trans, pro-woman, pro-inclusion and pro-respectful dialogue. i am anti-capitalism, anti-language/label policing, anti-generalization of any group of people, anti-exclusion, anti-racism, anti-sexism, anti-bigotry, and anti-reactionism. i want to be clear i am not anti people- i do my best to respect everyone regardless of their views, but while i respect every individual, i believe i have no obligation to respect every individual's/group's beliefs.

as for the very prominent discourse on tumblr about shipping fictional characters, i think it's really fucking stupid that people feel so strongly about others finding solace in imagining certain fictional characters kissing or fucking or whatever. if you are one of these people: go outside, touch grass, and funnel that anger into issues that actually affect people's real lives (e.g. reproductive rights being taken away, the policing system, the healthcare system... stuff like that.)

also, please be aware these are my views NOW, as of the date on this post. as i've said i've been on this website for a hot minute and my views have shifted and changed over that time period, so if you find something from like 2019 that totally contradicts what i've said here, that is why.

dni

i don't believe in not interacting with people purely based on their beliefs or random characteristics about them (this is a personal thing. i don't think there's anything morally bad about having a dni) if you are capable of having a civil dialogue and respecting me and my identity, i'm happy to have a good faith discussion about pretty much anything, no matter what your views are. that being said, if you are not in fact capable of that, please leave me alone thanks. also if i fall into your dni, do yourself a favor and don't interact with me

fandoms

if it has a * next to it, i used to be into it and am not really now

life is strange

miraculous ladybug*

voltron: legendary defender*

dream smp/new mcyts*

heartstopper

killing eve

young royals

stitchers

shadowhunters*

winx club

andi mack*

glee*

the arcana

detroit: become human

buzzfeed unsolved/watcher

unus annus

the stormlight archives

heathers (the musical)

dear evan hansen (the musical)*

be more chill (the musical)

a lot of broadway and off-broadway musicals to be honest

personal stuff

if you've read my bio, you already know the drill: i'm jay, i'm a bi trans dykeboy, i'm 18 and i'm south asian american. i'm currently a full time university student double majoring in neuroscience and theatre design (feel free to send me asks about either i will go crazy). in my free time i sing, play guitar, write (or stare at blank google docs for hours), and hang out with cats. i don't exactly know what i want to do other than parenting. i have adhd and that makes life sucky sometimes but it's also very much a vital part of who i am (for me personally). otherrr than that, i can't think of anything, but if you wanna know something my asks are always open! i will not share identifying information though for obvious reasons.

so yeah that's me! if there's anything i forgot just let me know. thanks for reading :)

[thatabitcryptic]

HI HELLO

i'm a writer looking to get into making Undertale fanfics and i'm worried abt characterization revolving specifically Papyrus and Ive been told ur good at the whole Papy thing.

Do u have any major tips about nailing his character down?

Hmmmm tbh he’s very hard to write!!

Vomit all ur ideas onto a page then go through them with a set of questions to see if they are actually something that would happen for example, Is there canon evidence that directly contradicts this? Am I purposely dismissing things in canon in order to add this? Have I written something that makes another character look bad in ways adverse to canon to add tension? If so is there a way I can write this conflict occurring differently? And most importantly!! If Toby fox saw this would he cringe and cry and weep??

I also think it’s important to understand how papyrus interacts with the characters around him :-)

When it comes to writing characters it’s easy to dive straight into angst and I think you can do that with paps (tho one of the main things about him is his optimism so u have to be careful) but u can’t dunk on other characters while u do it,, some fics I’ve read have had sans be a bad brother.. or at least one that doesn’t notice what’s going on with papyrus when that’s just straight up… not true.. one of the first things sans says to frisk is that he noticed paps was feeling down and that seeing a human would cheer him up,, sometimes people go to undyne and see how she didn’t want to let papyrus into the royal guard because they think she treats him like a child which is also not true!!

A big thing the fandom does is project onto characters and say they infantise paps but that’s just not really how canon depicts them,, so main thing is don’t sacrifice canon characterisation for some quick angst

I think if u wanted to write angst for papyrus u could go into his past with gaster something he canonically goes silent over.. or maybe focus on him changing his dialogue depending on who is present,, what is he hiding?????? Or his insecurities about being great bc that is always interesting

u must also remember he is a silly guy!!!!!!!!! He says things like whoopsy doopsy!!!!!!! Very soft and full of calcium!!!!!!!! He’s just funny - sometimes ppl see this as him being dumb and write misunderstandings in the plot of their fics arising from him doing something that makes no sense but I don’t think he’s dumb he knows what he’s saying is strange and that’s why he’s saying it!! He’s a little freak!!!!!!

Also he’s a brutal kinda guy!!! Interpret that how u like!! Who knows what it means!

Add some flavour!!!!!!!! Add some of ur own headcanons in places where we are missing actual canon just make sure it’s believable! Canonically we don’t actually know if he’s autistic or not but like!! It fits!! So I like to add it in :-))

Just have fun with it tho, if u think u end up writing something that doesn’t fit it’s okay at least u recognised it for next time :D

[pinejay]

the last shadow thoughts. i give it a solid 4/5. spoilers under the cut

i think i personally enjoyed it a lot bc the introduction of the new ramen, the ravens and keas and yachachiyruna. as a bird lover, the concept of talking birds is so fun and exciting to me. the yachachiyruna are also very compelling. the biggest disappointment was that we didn't actually get a descoladore race of sentient beings. the promise of the book was to explore the concept of this new potential ramen, and see how the characters figure out how to communicate with a group that cannot be spoken to in the traditional sense and might only communicate via genetic transfer. but the author's note at the end was pretty amusing, saying how he basically was trying to figure out how to write about the descoladore when he read some book abt birds and then went "wow birds are so cool i'm gonna write abt birds instead" lmao! like yeah i totally fucking get it!

also, while i accept the in-book explanation and discarding of the previous book's suppositions about the origins of the descolada, i do think the final conclusion of the descolada story wasn't very well built up. it was more of an afterthought and convenient tying of a bow on something that just dragged on in the background, which is a little disappointing. i definitely think it could've been better foreshadowed, the way the speaker of the dead mystery was so masterfully built up and foreshadowed, instead of just coming about as a result of a character having an idea that the other characters then go test in a lab to see if they're right.

in general i think this book was used to repair some of the poor writing or potential misunderstandings in xenocide and children of the mind. it's not a new move for card to contradict himself or show a different side of a situation in later sequels, like with the wiggin parents and how much they knew or had a hand in ender never returning to earth, as expanded upon in ender in exile and shadow of the hegemon. it's hard to tell if they're inconsistent on purpose. i want to give him the benefit of the doubt here but xenocide and children of the mind were just so painful to get through and thematically messy. i'm just glad he spends the time to clear up the fact that peter is more ender wiggin and not at all the original peter wiggin beyond the identical genetic body. the instantaneous teleportation and generation of any configuration of matter u can conceive of is also not as much a deus ex machina in this book, and doesn't make things way too easy like it did at the ends of xenocide and children of the mind. it is pretty funny that jane uses it to effectively sequester some of the characters, namely sergeant and his twin sons, out of the main plot bc they're too much of a nuisance to deal with.

as for general orson scott card writing tendencies, i guess hyper intelligent main characters will always just be an ender's game thing. but this time card almost excessively has other smart characters knock the arrogant bean grandchildren off their high horses, which is kinda funny in an ironic self deprecating authorial way. it does get to be a bit much but i can appreciate its thematic relevance. the mormon obsession with procreation was present but bearable. card simply cannot help but extrapolate the biological desire for community growth (and by extension, interplanetary expansion) to individual desire for a nuclear family. the dialogue is sometimes funny and insightful, sometimes obnoxious and overly psychoanalytical. but i would say it leaned toward funny and insightful this time, which is good.

the subplot weaving and buildup was honestly not very cohesive or elegant. idk why i get the sense that a lot of the book was just the characters standing around and talking to each other, then popping up somewhere else and standing around and talking to each other. they were just so static. but there is something weirdly compelling abt the lack of dramatic tension; maybe it made it a more relaxed reading experience. the plot development did seem a bit too dialogue driven, like the characters would literally say x character is now going to try to form an emotional bond with y character. and then the promises in the dialogue were constantly reneged upon bc the characters cannot accurately predict what happens next. so like why have them state out loud what's going to happen in the first place? it's weird, and just kinda bad writing.

the character development also seemed a bit too dialogue driven, at least in the case of peter wiggin ii. the characters say peter has ender inside him, and he just resists the idea less over time. i do like the development of thulium, even tho she's a difficult character to care abt at first, and sprout is an enjoyable character to follow. it was just hard to establish who they were in the beginning when they were all still isolated in that spaceship, i feel like their characterization was not clear. there was one point when carlotta remarked sprout argues so hard until she gives up arguing with him, which seems out of character with all his actions the entire rest of the book, and more in line with something thulium would do.

the japanese parents subplot was also so random and useless, except for when thulium visits her mother. but that reunion scene can be done entirely without the bean children going to earth to convince their spouses to come to lusitania, esp since thulium goes to her mom of her own volition. sergeant and his twin sons are entirely 2-dimensional, their presence in the book is unbearable, and the issue of their awfulness is lazily resolved. i know their entire purpose is to give context to thulium's character, but they should just be taken out of the narrative entirely. it's also pretty wild that at the end the characters just agree to never return to nest and leave the folks be and that's that. but it is their choice lol. and i did like the somewhat open ended yet conclusive ending, with everyone moving on with their lives and the relocation of the ravens and keas and yachachiyruna to their new homes.

[rays-animorphs]

Book 10 afterthoughts

(More spoilers than usual.)

Dunno why I keep thinking I'll have something I want to say after I finish reading the book. Generally more thoughts come within an hour or so of finishing, or I'm just on to the next thing.

I've watched the Matrix movies recently, so I'm going to talk about that. Neo gets to the point where he can do anything. He can fly like Superman. He can stop bullets in mid-air. Most of the story is still taken up with fighting. Because that's the point, it's a story about cool fighting. I get that. It's fine. People like what they like. I'm about to play a game about a pandemics while we're in the middle of one, doesn't mean I want anyone I know (or anyone at all, for that matter) actually getting sick. People can like stories about fighting without it meaning anything in particular about their attitudes towards violence, their personal capacity for violence, or their political position on the hawk/dove spectrum. I personally tend to like action scenes less than most, and am more wholesale opposed to violence than most, but as far as I can tell that's just coincidence.

Anyways, if I had Neo-like superpowers, I wouldn't be using them to do gravity-defying kung fu.

I do think I would honestly prefer the morality of warfare to not come into my ridiculous goofy kids' alien invasion story. I mean, I like "is war a bad idea?" in general, and I think it works in Star Trek TOS when it comes up, because even though Starfleet is a military organization, they're not actually engaged in war for most of the series. (The original series, on TV. I realize Star Trek as a whole keeps going back to conventional good guys vs bad guys war stories.) Their mission is exploration, not fighting, so anti-war messages work. They're not being constantly contradicted by the text. But, "this is a story about fighting, because fighting is fun to read about"...that doesn't necessarily go well with discussions of the ethics of fighting. It would be like if a James Bond movie had a dialogue between Bond and whatever woman he's trying to seduce this time about internet privacy. It's messing with different levels of engaging with the topic, swirling them together. In a way that leave both levels -- the fun escapism level and the serious ideas level -- worse for the blending.

It's kind of like how Kushiel's Dart gives the protagonist an in-universe safeword, but then she keeps refraining from using it as a point of pride, like...ok, 5 points for introducing the concept, -10 points for the "real subs/masochists/whatever don't use safewords" BS. If you're going to write a non-con fantasy, you can just write the fantasy, sometimes nods to reality make it worse. I keep going back to this because I still haven't figured out what exactly my issue is, how best to phrase/understand it, and my brain is set up in a way such that it doesn't want to let go until I understand it. I do not like that the story is set up so that the Chee are basically written out of the story once Erek decides he's unwilling to kill. I do not like that the non-human Controllers are treated like faceless mooks whose deaths are categorically different from human deaths, and that this largely goes unchallenged. I don't like the overall message of "war is terrible and requires incredible sacrifice and is also good and necessary" -- I'm not thrilled with war stories in general, but I'm really not thrilled with "yes, war is horrible, and this fictional war is going to have horrors and PTSD just like real life war, and it is still necessary." In stories that straight-up glorify war, like the Narnia Chronicles and Lord of the Rings, it's fairytale-like, I can suspend disbelief and go "this is fiction, people get that fiction isn't reality", but going closer to reality (while still writing the war as absolutely necessary) draws it into this uncanny valley that is a lot more unpleasant for me that a more, you know, Redwall-like or Three Musketeers-like story would be. And I can't let go that this is a book set in America published by an American author not long before the Iraq War and using the exact same rhetoric about fighting the Yeerks that Bush used to justify the Iraq war. It's about freedom, the enemy hates our freedom, they can't be reasoned with they just hate us, they have powerful weapons, they want to destroy who we are. We're fighting for our freedom, for their freedom, for our survival. Anyways: book 10 was one of the more serious/dark ones, it was great for showing Marco's thing where this stuff really genuinely terrifies him but he does it anyways, the android thing was cool, we got alien trees which was amazing, we got a sense that the Animorphs universe is truly vast. Plus, bats. So, good story, again, me going off about the pacifism stuff doesn't mean I didn't like it, it just means I have opinions. Also, the thing where Erek is never going to forget is genuinely horrifying.

[snowstark]

Hello! I saw someone not too long ago ask @vaguekiwi about her writing process and was curious to see how writers have their similarities and differences. If you don't mind sharing along the same lines that VagueKiwi has done, could you explain your process too?

hi! sure sure i'd love to talk about this!!! before we begin though, i gave grace's process a quick look and WOW that's a real mf sexy explanation 🥵anyway here we go—

like grace said, what works for me might not necessarily work for someone else. experiment and stick with what works best for you, there's no right or wrong way to write!

1. how i figure out My Story Idea™️

the best ideas have always come to me when i'm doing something random. i'll be in the shower, lying in bed unable to sleep, commuting, etc etc etc, and usually an image, a dialogue line, or a scene pops into my head. i use a lot of other things for inspiration too — my fic wolves go for your heart takes a lot of inspiration from the TV show "suits" (which has a super canonic d/s relationship between the two characters btw). i'm a strong believer in the fact that all forms of art are inspired by one another; it's hard to come up with an idea that's "truly original," you know? imo, as long as you give credit where it's due, there's no problem in being inspired by another piece of art!!

i'm not very good with just sitting on an idea once it gets in my head. the moment it appears, i usually jot down a note on a blank google document or else i forget it. my google drive is filled with 50+ documents that have a Single Line of Description of the story lmao. if i get to it, cool; if not, that's okay. but if i'm feeling inspired and motivated enough, i'll start writing on the spot.

2. outlining???? don't know her

i'm also not very good with outlining, personally. the majority of the time i try to outline, i get bored of writing the actual story and so it never gets written. so, i just write the story from wherever i start and see where it takes me. of course, i've found that this has some issues in the long-run; it's harder to make sure you don't have plot holes or contradict something you said in previous chapters, etc. i've had way too many moments where someone asked me about a plot hole and i was like 😋 whaaaatttt no idea what you're saying!

that's not to say i never outline, because sometimes, when i feel like being a responsible writer, i do. i've had a couple of stories where i outlined chapter-by-chapter, which i do recommend trying if you feel up to it! (it does give you a good sense of direction on where to take the story!) but, yeah, i wing my stories 98% of the time, because that's just how my writer's brain works.

i'm also not a chronological writer at all; i prefer writing scenes in bits and pieces and then i smash all of these pieces all together and edit the final draft multiple times so that it flows well. i need to indulge myself with the scenes that i want right in that moment, or else i just can't get myself to write. this means that 80% of the time, i have the ending of the entire fic written before the beginning of chapter 1 LOL

3. keeping track of The Story™️

notes !!! bullet points !!! random bits and pieces of a scene !!!

the moment a scene or dialogue pops into my head, i write it down and save it for later. i usually just put some space between each "bit" and keep them in the same document as my story, and then i'll paste them into whatever chapter fits it later on. it's a bit chaotic and disorganized, but it is fun, for me, so i guess that's what counts!

for if you give a billionaire, i decided to try to get my shit together and organized everything really nicely. i used the same program called scrivener that grace mentions in her post (grace also convinced me to buy it; salesperson!grace au?!) because it really is a great program that helps you stay focused and organized! so yeah, for that story, i have docs of things to remember, important ideas, peter's rules/limits/etc, a folder of future scenes/bits, etc etc etc. it is pretty helpful, so i would definitely recommend keeping things organized like this! or, you could just keep things chaotic; i'm a fan of that too 😌again, see what works for you!!

4. writer's block (fuck off)

ik this wasn't really mentioned in grace's post, but writer's block is a serious pain in the ass so i think it's worth mentioning. i've been going through a mild slump in writing for a while and it's really frustrating. (un?)fortunately, it means i worked on some tactics to try to work past it, so maybe these techniques will be helpful for anyone else reading this!

i'm a massive fan of fighter's block, i will literally recommend it to anyone who even hints that they're going through a block. you can set a word count goal for yourself and with each word you write, the little character battles the monster. this program is also great because it stops me from questioning every single word that i write — that's one of the main things i experience when i'm going through writer's block. sometimes, in order to write, you just have to write. don't let yourself pause or stop to edit something, save that whole process for later. your first draft can be as shitty as you think it is; i promise you it will look 10 times better when you look at it the next day. and even if it doesn't, you now have words !! that you can edit !!

it's also kind of important to figure out why you have writer's block. for example, with if you give a billionaire, i personally struggle to put our chapters faster than every 4-6 months (that brings me so much pain i'm so sorry readers) because i've put too much expectation on myself. in my head, if you give a billionaire is a story that needs to be perfect, meets everyone's expectations, has just the right amount of plot and smut, has good witty dialogue because they're both snarky assholes, and for some reason i'm convinced that each chapter has to be about 4-6k words. i know that it's all in my head and that no one else but myself is reinforcing these words, but i can't make myself stop thinking it. and that's why i take forever to update — the expectations i've put on myself scares me from writing it because i get worried i'll mess up. so acknowledging and understanding that has helped me a bit because i can try to work past it now that i know what the problem is.

another example: for something like wolves go for your heart, i'm going through a block simply because i've lost inspiration for it. it's not as deep as it is for billionaire, and all i'm waiting for is for me to get back into the mood to write that law setting and boss/associate dynamic.

anyways, the point is, figuring out what's making writing so hard will be the first step in fighting that block :)

you can also reach out to any writing friends; talking out some ideas and AUs are super helpful in fighting a block!! if you don't know anyone personally enough to reach out and text them about it, reach out to a writer in your fandom!! i promise you that everyone will be delighted to help and talk about ideas! @thymenottime has a fantastic queens au going on that you should totally check out btw, and through asks, she talked to me about what she was thinking and we both had a fantastic time!!! sometimes just talking with friends and other writers is the best thing to do for yourself as a writer :]

okay, i think that's about it from me?? if you have more questions feel free to let me know, or you can always reach out to other writers too, of course!! other writers, feel free to chime in! i bet everyone has different tactics that work for them, and fresh perspectives too! happy writing <3

[by-kilian]

hi again kw! it's ⚔️ anon again!

work today sucked so i'm writing about comfort characters and self-inserts :")

that said, do you have any advice for writing canon characters accurately? i found that my insecurity in my writing is usually about the realism or legitimacy of the actions/dialogue etc. so any pointers would be wonderful !!

take care of yourself, ilysm! 💕

Hey love!

I think I answered this on my old blog but that's obviously long gone now 😂. I do have some advice though and I'll put it under a cut ❤️🥰.

My first piece of advice is to just study the characters when you watch the show (or read the source material if there is one). Pick up on their idiosyncrasies, their mannerisms, their way of speaking, and try to incorporate it into your writing. Even if it's subtle like a cheek scratch when they ask questions they're unsure of, or playing with their fingers when they're nervous--if it's appropriate for your character and even canonically seen, I think it adds to realism.

Same with dialogue. Pick up on their speech patterns as we all have them. Look at the way they say things and *how* they say things, and try your hardest to imitate it. Levi for example never belabors or talks a lot so I don't make him talk a lot. If anyone ever decides to read LDBS in full from front to back, you'll actually see how little Levi talks in comparison to everyone else despite being a main character. And even when he does talk, it's not long sentences and he hardly goes on for a long time or monologues. This is how he is in the manga and the anime so that's what I modeled it after.

My other tip is to read their character bio and pick up on the traits they're told to have. Even if they're just known to be perceptive, think about how you can translate that perception, that hyper awareness into other areas of their life. Would they be hyper aware of their partners? Are they the kind of people who are only hyper aware in some situations but not all? Unless it's stated or shown canonically how they'd be otherwise, the world is really your oyster. I try to use context for how they are overall to try to figure out how they'd be when it's not stated word for word, but it's really up to you.

At the end of the day, characterization is what you make it! Use what's given to you already (character profiles, the shows, the books, etc) as your source material and model but also know you can be flexible and play with it. Who's to say a stoic character isn't super soft behind closed doors even if we've never seen that before? Or who's to say a super confident character in other situations isn't really insecure when it comes to their partner? Insecurity is such a universal emotion unless you're a narcissist, we're all bound to feel it at some point so why can't you make your characters feel it? My point is, you can make it whatever you want, unless it's stated otherwise. Don't worry about it. Play. Have fun.

And honestly even IF it's stated otherwise, fuck it. Human beings are full of contradictions. That's what makes us human! We often say what we don't mean and we're just full of complexities that often contradict what we are like or how we are. The most logical scientific person you know may also check her astrological chart every day. The mean gruff coworker who doesn't greet anyone in the mornings might talk in a baby voice to their kitten. We're all so different at the end of the day, it is (in my opinion) totally possible for us to be complete paradoxes of what we say we are.

Anyway. Use what is already given to you as a template but also don't be afraid to play. You're allowed to do that, I promise. It doesn't have to be perfect and everyone's characterizations will be different, and that's okay! That's the beauty of writing and different life experiences--we all kind of inject our own lives into what we write, and that's what makes it unique, special, and sometimes all the more pleasure to read imo.

I hope this helped, my darling! I'm so sorry work sucked today, but ILY and I hope your day gets better! ❤️

[xanderwithanx]

Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.

(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)

I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)

Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.

Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!

I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.

On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!

They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.

I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.

Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.

I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.

Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.

After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.

Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.

I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.

Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.

The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.

I'm SO excited to get started!!

I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!

Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.

Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.

Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.

Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!

I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.

We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.

I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.

Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.

It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."

sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/

(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)

I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.

I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!

Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.

I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.

The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.