#but this was the first scene I'd vividly imagined and seeing it come to life like this has left me in tears repeatedly

[n7viper]

Reblogging again with a little commentary if anyone's interested :) (it was supposed to be 'a little' and then I rambled)

Season of the Haunted set my brain into OC overdrive when I came back to Destiny after a several year hiatus, so I wanted a piece to honour that. This piece is meant to be symbolic rather than a literal scene aboard the Leviathan--the class items and Ghosts belonged to people who have been dead for several years.

Maeve's journey through the story of D1 and taking on the moniker of The Young Wolf is as one half of a whole. Newly risen, she's found by Phaeston-4, a quiet and fiercely protective Titan who teaches her what it means to be a Guardian of The Last City. After working together for a bit, it becomes apparent that while they may both be powerful on their own, they're even better as a team. (If you saw them as little adoptable animals at your local shelter, they'd be branded as a bonded pair.)

However, not long after prevailing in the Red War and saving the City, Phaeston is given his final death unexpectedly and Mae struggles to find her footing, throwing herself into Vanguard Ops as a means to cope. Which goes about as well as one might expect (poorly). She isolates herself from the rest of her and Phae's fireteam unless their help is absolutely necessary.

Months later, when Cayde asks for her help in responding to Petra's call for assistance at the Prison of Elders, Mae is still scattered and unfocused, hardly the Guardian she'd been in the past. She ultimately blames herself for Cayde's death at the Prison--if only she'd been faster, more focused, she could have saved him. In her mind, it's proof that without Phae, she's nothing. While she may not have been as close with Cayde as other players' Guardians, she sees his death as a failure on her part, and a heavy burden she must carry. Alone.

Exacting revenge doesn't bring the cathartic relief she hoped, and she stumbles ever onward.

Fast forward a few years to when the derelict Leviathan shows back up in our orbit, and Maeve is content. Things have been looking up, despite a few hiccups here and there. She's mastered Stasis, she's conquered Savathûn. She's even in a stable relationship and working with her fireteam again. But aboard the Leviathan, twisted Nightmares from her past hang in her peripheral--mainly Phaeston, whose caricature reminds her that she'll never be as good as he was, and that she truly is nothing without him. Nightmares of both Cayde and Uldren make sure to get their shots in when they can.

And finally, we arrive here, at this piece. In the foreground of the picture is Cayde's cloak as a base, with Phaeston's mark lying on top of it. Above both of those rests the shattered shells of their Ghosts, Izzy on the left and Sundance on the right.

A big inspiration for this was the bridge from Wrath, by Bury Tomorrow: You left an empty space, all of this pain and doubt And if you hear my voice, I hope I've made you proud

As well as Not Without My Ghosts, by The Amity Affliction: Their bodies drag behind me, chained to both my wrists No matter how I fight, I'm never done with it I have to carry on, but not without my ghosts

Commission done for @n7viper​ of their precious child Mae 💛

This was a challenging one and it took me some reasoning around the process before going straight into coloring. I started detailing it with a greyscale to control values properly, but also because of the emotional weight the scene has. Then I added color after color until it was fully ready. Seriously, I so loved to work on it!! 😭💛 Thanks again for commissioning me dear!

✨ Greyscale under the cut ✨

Keep reading

[natsgrave]

THE MANUSCRIPT | wanda maximoff

the only thing that's left is the manuscript. one last souvenir from my trip to your shores. now and then i reread the manuscript but the story isn't mine anymore. i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! masterlist whispers of heartache m.list

It was a serene Saturday afternoon, and Y/N and Wanda were cozily ensconced in their favorite spot in the living room. The fireplace crackled softly, casting a warm glow over the room. They were wrapped in a shared blanket on the couch, Wanda's head resting on Y/N's shoulder, a feeling of contentment enveloping them.

"Y/N," Wanda began softly, breaking the comfortable silence. "Have you ever thought about what our wedding would be like?"

Y/N smiled, tilting her head to look at Wanda. "All the time. What about you? What do you imagine?"

Wanda's eyes sparkled with excitement as she shifted to face Y/N fully. "I've always dreamed of an outdoor wedding. Somewhere surrounded by nature, maybe a beautiful garden or a vineyard. Lots of flowers, twinkling fairy lights, and the sun setting in the background."

Y/N nodded, picturing the scene vividly. "That sounds perfect. I can see you walking down the aisle, looking stunning in a dress that flows with the breeze. I'd be waiting for you at the altar, feeling like the luckiest person in the world."

Wanda blushed slightly, her smile widening. "And what about the ceremony? How do you see it?"

"I think it should be intimate," Y/N said thoughtfully. "Just our closest friends and family. I want it to feel personal and meaningful. We could write our own vows, speaking from the heart about our journey and our love for each other."

Wanda's eyes misted over at the thought. "I love that idea. Our own vows, spoken with all the emotion and memories we've shared. It would make the moment even more special."

Y/N reached out, taking Wanda's hand in hers. "And after the ceremony, we could have a reception under the stars. A big tent with fairy lights, good music, and delicious food. Lots of dancing, laughter, and love filling the air."

Wanda squeezed Y/N's hand, her heart swelling with happiness. "Yes, and we could have a dance floor set up in the middle of the garden. Our first dance as a married couple would be to our favorite song, something that means a lot to both of us."

Y/N grinned. "Maybe 'Can't Help Falling in Love'? It's timeless and beautiful, just like you."

Wanda's cheeks flushed with warmth. "I love that song. It would be perfect for our first dance." ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Y/N stood in the middle of the sprawling garden, taking a deep breath as she surveyed the space. This was where their dream would come to life, where Wanda's vision of a perfect wedding would unfold. The garden was a beautiful, verdant expanse, with lush greenery and vibrant flowers blooming everywhere. It was a picturesque setting, and Y/N could already see the transformation beginning in her mind.

The first step was to ensure the area was properly prepared. She had spent weeks coordinating with a team of landscapers and gardeners, making sure every detail was perfect. The grass was meticulously trimmed, and the flowerbeds were overflowing with colorful blooms. There were roses, lilies, daisies, and tulips, each chosen for their vibrant colors and sweet fragrances. The garden's natural beauty would serve as the perfect backdrop for Wanda's special day.

Next, Y/N focused on the seating arrangements. She wanted to create an intimate yet elegant setting for their guests. She decided on wooden chairs with white cushions, arranged in neat rows facing a beautiful archway covered in flowers. She enlisted the help of a skilled florist who spent hours weaving flowers and greenery into the arch, making it a stunning focal point.

As she supervised the setup, Y/N couldn't help but smile, thinking about how Wanda's eyes would light up when she saw everything. She knew how much this day meant to her, and she was determined to make it perfect. The ceremony area was taking shape beautifully, but there was still so much more to do.

Moving on to the reception area, Y/N envisioned a large tent set up in the middle of the garden. The tent would be draped with white fabric, creating a soft, romantic atmosphere. She worked closely with the rental company to ensure the tent was spacious and elegant, with enough room for dining, dancing, and mingling.

Inside the tent, Y/N decided on round tables covered with crisp white linens. She chose centerpieces of wildflowers arranged in mason jars, adding a touch of rustic charm. Each table was set with fine china, polished silverware, and crystal glasses, creating a beautiful contrast with the natural setting. Small, flickering candles were placed around the centerpieces, adding a warm and inviting glow.

The dance floor was another important aspect of the reception. Y/N envisioned a wooden dance floor under the stars, surrounded by twinkling fairy lights. She spent hours stringing the lights across the garden, ensuring they were evenly spaced and would create a magical atmosphere once the sun set. The lights would not only illuminate the dance floor but also add a whimsical touch to the entire area.

Y/N also arranged for a small stage where the band would play. She and Wanda had chosen a local band known for their ability to set the perfect mood, from soft, romantic ballads to lively dance numbers. The stage was decorated with more flowers and lights, blending seamlessly with the overall theme.

The food and drink were carefully selected to match the garden setting. Y/N worked with a caterer to design a menu featuring fresh, seasonal ingredients. There would be a variety of appetizers, a sumptuous main course, and a selection of decadent desserts. A long wooden bar was set up at one end of the tent, stocked with fine wines, craft beers, and signature cocktails. Bartenders were instructed to create custom drinks that reflected Wanda's tastes, adding a personal touch to the celebration.

Finally, Y/N turned her attention to the smaller details that would make the day truly special. She designed a welcome sign made from reclaimed wood, with elegant calligraphy welcoming guests to their wedding. She also created personalized wedding favors-small potted succulents with tags that read, "Let love grow." These would be placed at each table setting, giving guests a beautiful and lasting memento of the day.

The final touches were in place. The garden was a vision of beauty, filled with vibrant flowers, twinkling lights, and elegantly set tables. Y/N stood at the entrance, her heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. She hoped that Wanda would love what she had done, even though the day wasn't exactly what she had envisioned for them both.

As Y/N took a deep breath, she felt a presence beside her. It was Natasha, one of Wanda's closest friends and someone who had been a rock for both of them through the planning process.

"Hey, Y/N," Natasha said softly, her voice filled with warmth. "You did a really great job with everything. It's absolutely beautiful."

Y/N turned to her, a grateful smile spreading across her face. "Thanks, Nat. That means a lot coming from you. I just wanted everything to be perfect for her."

Natasha nodded, her expression thoughtful. "It is perfect. Wanda is going to love it. You've put so much heart into this, and it shows."

Y/N looked down, her hands trembling slightly. "I just want her to be happy."

As the music started to play softly, signaling that the ceremony was about to begin, Natasha gave Y/N one last encouraging smile. "Are you ready?"

Y/N took a deep breath, her heart aching but resolute. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Natasha gave her one final squeeze before walking towards the seating area, leaving Y/N standing at the entrance. She watched as the guests took their places, the garden filling with an air of anticipation and excitement.

And then she saw her— Wanda, looking breathtakingly beautiful in her wedding dress, her eyes sparkling with happiness taking in the beauty of the garden and the thoughtful details that Y/N had put into making her dream a reality. Wanda's gaze found Y/N's, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. Wanda's eyes softened, and she mouthed, "Thank you," her expression filled with gratitude and love.

Y/N managed a bittersweet smile, nodding slightly as she mouthed back, "You're welcome."

As the wedding march began to play, Wanda turned and started her walk down the aisle towards her groom, Vision. Y/N's heart clenched as she watched Wanda move gracefully, every step taking her further away from the dreams they had once shared.

Y/N found a spot at the back, where she could quietly watch the ceremony without drawing attention. She saw the joy in Wanda's eyes, the love between her and Vision palpable. It was a beautiful ceremony, filled with heartfelt vows and tender moments.

As Wanda and Vision exchanged rings and sealed their union with a kiss, Y/N couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They flowed freely down her cheeks, a mix of sadness and acceptance. She was happy for Wanda, truly, but the ache in her heart was undeniable.

Natasha found her after the ceremony, pulling her into a comforting hug. "You did great, Y/N. It's okay to feel what you're feeling. Just remember, you're stronger than you think." Natasha placed a reassuring hand on Y/N's shoulder. "You're incredibly strong for doing this, Y/N. Letting Wanda go and still making sure her day is perfect— it takes a lot of courage and selflessness."

Y/N sighed, her eyes glistening with tears. "I just… I love her so much. I want her to have everything she's ever dreamed of, even if it means I'm not the one standing beside her."

Natasha gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Wanda is lucky to have someone like you in her life. And remember, you're strong enough to get through this. You've shown that already."

Y/N nodded, wiping her tears away. "Thanks, Nat. I needed to hear that. I just… I need a moment."

Natasha gave her a reassuring pat on the back before heading back to join the other guests. Y/N took a deep breath, looking around the garden one last time. She had poured her heart into this place, for Wanda's happiness, and that was something she could be proud of.

As she walked away, leaving the newlyweds to their joy, Y/N felt a sense of closure. She had given her all, and now it was time to find her own path, her own happiness. The garden, with its beauty and memories, would always be a testament to the love she had for Wanda, a love that was selfless and true.

Ans now, the only thing that's left is the manuscript. Now and then Y/N reread the manuscript, but the story isn't hers anymore.

hi, everyone! i hope you like this one, i really don't know how to feel about this... i hope this is good enough and reblog is highly appreciated!

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY INTERVIEWED FOR VESTAL MAGAZINE.

REFLECTING ON YOUR JOURNEY IN THE ACTING INDUSTRY, DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOMENT YOU REALIZED YOU REALIZED YOU WANTED TO PURSUE ACTING?

"The moment I realized I wanted to pursue acting was probably when I was around 12 years old, in high school."

"I was performing in a production of Shakespeare's Macbeth at the Royal Exchange in Manchester."

"I saw older actors and wondered what their "proper" jobs were outside of the theater."

'When I asked one of them, they said': — "No, this is my proper job. This is what I do."

"I didn’t know people could do that."

"From that moment on, I knew that this is what I wanted to do as a career."

YOU'VE DONE MULTIPLE SHOWS AND MOVIES IN THE DRAMATIC GENRE. WOULD YOU EVER BE OPEN TO DOING OTHER GENRES?

"Absolutely, I'd love to explore new genres in the future."

"I'd love to give comedy a go."

"I think that would be a good challenge."

"It’s difficult because timing is crucial delivering a joke at the right time can feel almost mathematical."

"But I think that good comedy actors don't see it that way at all."

"It just comes naturally to them."

"I'd love to give it a shot."

"I'm also interested in doing biopics, bringing real-life stories to life."

"Chet Baker and Gene Kelly, in particular, would be fascinating characters to portray."

"But I'm open to any interesting projects that come my way."

HOW DO YOU CHOOSE THE ROLES YOU TAKE ON? ARE YOU DRAWN TO A PARTICULAR TYPE OF CHARACTER OR STORY?

"Honestly, I'm drawn to anything that makes me feel uncomfortable and pushes me out of my comfort zone."

"I seek out roles where the character feels distant and challenging."

"I like to test myself and see if I can bring such characters to life."

"If a role feels like something I might struggle with, that's exactly what I want to tackle."

"I often joke that these challenging roles might be my downfall someday." [laughs]

CAN YOU SHARE ANY INSIGHTS INTO HOW YOUR CHARACTER, AEGON II TARGARYEN, ENVOLVES IN THE UPCOMING SEASON?

"I found it fascinating to delve deeper into Aegon this season because there's so much more to uncover about him."

"In the first season, we saw quite a two-dimensional view of Aegon—not due to Ty Tennant's portrayal, which I thought was fantastic, bringing a lot of vulnerability and teenage angst to the character."

"When I took over, the time frame was too short to really explore Aegon's complexities."

"This time, I've had an extended period to sit with the character and dig into his deeper layers."

"Playing a character experiencing profound grief is always a challenge."

"I'm lucky enough that I've never gone through anything like that myself, so I had to imagine it as vividly as possible."

"This season, Aegon is shown as more of an empath than a psychopath."

"It becomes clear that he has the capacity to love, feel, and grieve."

"There are so many comparisons between Aegon and Richard II."

"People are saying Aegon is cold, calculated, and evil, and while he's certainly done horrible things—I'm not justifying any of those—it's important to note that, rather than being a straightforward villain, he's a crumbling tragedy."

HOW HAS YOUR APPROACH TO PORTRAYING AEGON II CHANGED FROM THE PREVIOUS SEASON TO THE NEW ONE?

"There’s definitely a continuation of the drama and theatricality from season one."

"It's huge, rousing, and intense."

"I've seen episodes one to four, and they are just unbelievable, especially the battle scenes — you can't get any bigger than that."

"This season, though, there’s also an element of humor."

"At some point, they called Aegon 'the Magnanimous,' and it was important to bring some levity to his character."

"Aegon has just stepped into the role of King and is trying to figure it all out."

"We're at a point where he’s found a spring in his step, enjoying this new responsibility and purpose."

"He’s also got a lot of power now."

"Power can go to people's heads and make them crazy."

"It was nice to explore his boyishness and playfulness, as it gives his character more depth and leaves room for growth."

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL PEOPLE TO GET THEM ON TEAM GREEN?

"I don’t think I need to persuade them—obviously, we’re the best."

"But if you really want to see why, this season is packed with surprises that will make it clear."

SINCE THE SHOW IS BASED ORIGINALLY ON BOOKS, IS THERE A SPECIFIC BOOK YOU'D LIKE TO SEE BROUGHT TO THE SCREEN AND FOR YOU TO BE A PART OF?

"I'd love to see a film adaptation of Douglas Stuart's book Shuggie Bain."

"Another great choice would be The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet by David Mitchell."

"It’s a collection of beautiful and heart-wrenching short stories, and each one could make a compelling film."

"Looking at my bookshelf now, I see a lot of books on Bob Dylan, David Bowie, and Paul McCartney—mostly singer-songwriters."

"I also have a lot of poetry. I'd love to see a biopic of Patti Smith."

"That would be incredible."

YOUR CAREER HAS TAKEN YOU TO VARIOUS FILMING LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD. IS THERE A SPECIFIC LOCATION YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO YET AND WOULD LOVE TO BE THE BACKDROP FOR A POTENTIAL FUTURE PROYECT?

"Oh, that's a good question."

"I think somewhere that’s a hybrid between beautiful rolling countryside and the coast."

"A place that offers both stunning landscapes and the sea."

"On your days off, you could go for a swim or hike through the mountains."

"I’d love to work in a scenic and peaceful location like that."

SOMETIMES, ACTORS WHO PLAY 'VILLAINS' CAN GET AN ADVERSE REACTION FROM SOME FANS OF A SHOW. WHAT HAVE YOUR INTERACTIONS BEEN LIKE?

"I've been very lucky."

"Many people have approached me with kind words about my portrayal of Aegon."

"It's a challenging task to humanize someone so seemingly poisonous."

"Fortunately, I haven't had negative encounters with fans who can't differentiate between the character and the actor."

"I think we're in a different phase in society now."

"When Jack Gleeson played Joffrey, there was less social media presence, making it harder for audiences to separate the actor from the character."

"Today I think we are a more technologically advanced community, with more behind-the-scenes and a better understanding of the distinction between actor and character."

"I think people have copped on. I hope that's the case, anyway."

YOU'VE COLLABORATED WITH RENOWNED DIRECTORS LIKE CHRISTOPHER NOLAN. WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM THESE EXPERIENCES?

"Doing Dunkirk was my first significant experience on a film set."

"I really didn't know where to start."

"The canvas was completely blank."

"And it was just such a gift, a pinch me moment that I was able to learn from some of, if not the best filmmaker in the world."

"It was overwhelming."

"And I had to remind myself to be present and soak in everything like a sponge."

"Chris's patience and the support from the rest of the cast were invaluable throughout."

"We were all in it together, especially us young lads who were new to such a big production."

"We learned and grew together during that incredible experience."

IN THE KING, YOU PORTRAYED A HISTORICAL FIGURE. HOW DID YOU APPROACH BRINGING THIS CHARACTER TO LIFE?

"When portraying a fictional character, there's often more freedom because there's no definitive blueprint to follow—even if they're written in a book, they're still fictional."

"You can infuse your own understanding and personality into the role."

"However, there’s added pressure when it comes to a historical figure because you're portraying someone real."

"I never let that pressure overwhelm or hinder the process."

"Instead, I took the character as presented and focused on doing my best with the role."

A NEW HUNGER GAMES MOVIE WAS JUST ANNOUNCED, SPECIFICALLY A PREQUEL FOCUSING ON HAYMITCH'S STORY, AND MANY FANS ARE EAGER TO SEE YOU IN THAT ROLE. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT?

"No way, that’s the first I’ve heard of it! But I'm incredibly flattered that people would like to see me on screen again."

"If all goes well, I'll fight for my life in the Hunger Games!" [laugh]

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS DURING YOUR DOWNTIME?

"One show I watch repeatedly, and it never gets old for me, is the UK version of The Office."

"The humor is very relatable and comforting to me."

"I even laugh just thinking about it. It's one of those TV shows when it finishes, you're like: — “Oh no! What do I do with my life? I miss the characters already.” [laugh]

"I also enjoy the US version of The Office."

"Besides that, I'm fascinated by farming documentaries."

"Shows like This Farming Life on BBC are incredibly calming for me."

"And I have to mention The Great Pottery Throwdown — I'm a bit of a pottery nerd, and that show is brilliant!

WHO ARE SOME CREATIVES YOU WOULD LOVE TO WORK WITH IN THE FUTURE?

"The list is long."

"Firstly, there are directors I'd love to collaborate with again, like Chris Nolan and Sam Mendes, with whom I've had some of my best experiences and whom I consider friends."

"I'm eager to work with them again."

"Then there are filmmakers like Andrea Arnold, Yorgos Lanthimos, Greta Gerwig, Paul Thomas Anderson, and Ruben Ostlund, all of whom I admire and would love to collaborate with."

"When it comes to actors, there are many I admire as well."

"I plan to work with individuals who challenge me, from whom I can learn, and who are dedicated to their craft."

"I appreciate those who find joy and humor in their work because life is short, and it’s important to enjoy what you do."

LASTLY, WHERE DO YOU HOPE YOUR CAREER WILL HEAD INTO THE FUTURE?

"It’s more of a feeling than a checklist of achievements that I aim for."

"I understand that feeling because I can almost sense it in advance."

"It’s difficult to articulate—it’s a mix of happiness, creative fulfillment, diversity in roles, consistent challenge, and pushing boundaries."

"I aspire to transform and lose myself in characters."

"Equally important to me is collaborating with inspiring individuals whom I can learn from and grow with."

"I also value the freedom to select projects that resonate with me personally."

[god-has-entered-my-body]

✨✍️🎨

thank you for this, you're golden xx

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

ohhh I have quite literally every single one saved so might as well post the ones i still kick my feet over to this day.

first comment i ever got was from Belle and i think i did actually writhe in my bed reading it, i didnt think anyone would actually see anything i put out. Also went insane and spammed my mate freaking out because its literally user sugar-coat-it in my replies.

having my literal fic idols comment on and reblog my stuff had me spamming @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff literally so much it was insane i tell you. tumblr user wrestletotheground i screamed that day you're actually a total legend.

again. my longfic idol perceiving me is so mental i keep staring at it and it doesnt feel real??? like im just a fangirl at heart dont do this to me.

someone recommending my fics to HALLA and this being her reaction i think i stared at my phone for a solid minute before reacting by again, spamming my mates and going insane

this has become this weird gush fest please dont think im wanky i just dont do well with people i admire interacting with me in any capacity xx

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

my laptop on my desk. super basic but i do make myself a cuppa and take my meds so i can focus on actually writing instead of browsing bdsm wikipedia for research purposes. also fics srsly dont help my smoking i go through like half a packet for every fic or chapter or whatever. I guess it sort of fits the vibe though? MPIND matty would be proud in his own weird way.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

i dont think thats really a feasible concept for me, but I do imagine MPIND very vividly, and i think other people do too. I feel like MPIND and his whole fashion thing he has going on i think the outfits might be fun to draw?? i do have actual clothing picked out tucked away in a google doc that i think he's wear if he was real.

I'd love to see scenes like ones i've written on the terrace, or maybe the lighter scene come to life? To be completely honest, i havent read MPIND in a hot minute i genuinely forgot a lot of the plot/specific scenes i put in x

If anyone does ever make fanart, i will print it out and hang it above my bed to stare at in awe because someone putting in that effort is imperceivable for me

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Mulholland Drive (Lynch, 2001)

This review contains spoilers.

David Lynch's Mulholland Drive was released in recent years by the Criterion Collection, that great home video company that's probably the OG of boutique labels, known for putting out acclaimed, significant or otherwise interesting films in really nice packages. (For some reason I had been thinking they put this out only last year until I actually looked it up. I guess my sense of time has been a little warped as of late, and as much as I'd like to tie this review into pandemic-era life, the fact is other labels have captured my attention lately, as can be evidenced by my embarrassingly large and extremely shameful Vinegar Syndrome haul from their Halfway to Black Friday sale from a few months ago.) Now, nobody in 2021 is going into this movie truly blind, but if I happened to pick up the Criterion cover and perused the back, aside from the list of special features and disc specs, you'd see the below (which I grabbed off their website):

Blonde Betty Elms (Naomi Watts) has only just arrived in Hollywood to become a movie star when she meets an enigmatic brunette with amnesia (Laura Harring). Meanwhile, as the two set off to solve the second woman’s identity, filmmaker Adam Kesher (Justin Theroux) runs into ominous trouble while casting his latest project. David Lynch’s seductive and scary vision of Los Angeles’s dream factory is one of the true masterpieces of the new millennium, a tale of love, jealousy, and revenge like no other.

Now, this is a tough movie to evoke with only a blurb, but I'd say that does a pretty respectable job. I however do not own this release. What I do own is the barebones Universal DVD that was released a few months after the movie, back when going into the movie blind would have been far more likely. This is the description on the back:

This sexy thriller has been acclaimed as one of the year's best films. Two beautiful women are caught up in a lethally twisted mystery - and ensnared in an equally dangerous web of erotic passion. "There's nothing like this baby anywhere! This sinful pleasure is a fresh triumph for Lynch, and one of the best films of the year. Visionary daring, swooning eroticism and colors that pop like a whore's lip gloss!" says Rolling Stone's Peter Travers. "See it… then see it again!" (Time Out New York)

Now, the previous description probably couldn't fully capture the movie's essence, but this one makes it sound like an erotic thriller. (Could you imagine somebody going into this thinking this was like a Gregory Dark joint? I say this having seen none of his thrillers and only his hardcore movies, although I must admit an MTV-influenced Mulholland Drive starring, say, Lois Ayres is something I find extremely intriguing.) But you know what? Good for them. Among other things, this movie, with its two all-timer sex scenes, feels like one of the last hurrahs from an era when mainstream American movies could be unabashedly horny, before we were sentenced to an endless barrage of immaculately muscular bodies in spandex (stupid sexy Flanders) somehow drained of all sex appeal (god forbid somebody pop a boner...or ladyboner, let's be egalitarian here). I apologize if I'm coming off as a little gross, but having been able to barely leave the house for practically a year and a half, watching sexy movies like this is one of the few remaining thrills at my disposal. Please, this is all I have.

Now I suppose I should say something about the movie itself, but it might be a challenge given how elusive it is in certain respects (Lynch is notoriously cagey about offering interpretations of his movies) and, as a result, how heavily it's been scrutinized over the years. No doubt any analysis I offer as to the movie's overarching meaning will come off extremely dumbassed. What I will note however, is that for whatever reason, the scene I remembered most vividly is where Justin Theroux walks in on his wife with Billy Ray Cyrus, particularly the candy pink paint he dumps on her jewellery as revenge. We've been following Theroux, a movie director, as he's been having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, having had control over casting his lead actress taken from him, which he proceeds to process by taking a golf club to a windshield of his producers' car and then reacting as above when he finds his wife with the singer of "Achy Breaky Heart".

With his Dune having been notoriously tampered with by producers, I suspect there's a bit of Lynch's own experience in the scene with the producers, which plays like an entirely arbitrary set of rituals deciding the fate of his movie with no regard for his opinion or even basic logic. While I don't know how particular Dino DeLaurentiis was about his espresso, I did laugh. Now, taking the reading that the first two acts of the movie are a fantasy of Naomi Watts' character, who is revealed to be miserable and ridden with jealousy in the third act, the amount of time we spend with Theroux is maybe hard to justify. Is this perhaps her "revenge" on him, his romantic and professional success having been flushed away while he flounders in search of greater meaning to his arc? Aside from possible autobiographical interest, these scenes do play like a riff on the idea that everyone is the main character in their own story, and if the Watts and Laura Harring characters can be thought of as having merged or swap identities, then perhaps Theroux's arc is the remainder of that quotient. (Now, it's worth noting that aside from being insecure and arrogant, Theroux in this movie is a less stylish than the real Lynch. If Watts conjures the best version of herself in her dream, Lynch maybe doesn't want his dream avatar outshining him.)

Now why did the Cyrus scene stick with me all these years when other details had slipped? Mostly because I'd found it amusing, partly because of the extra specific image Lynch produces, and somewhat because of the casting of Billy Ray Cyrus. Now, I don't have any special relationship to the Cyrus' body of work, but Lynch's casting of him, with his distinct mix of bozo, dudebro and hunk, results in a very specific comedic effect. This is something Lynch does elsewhere in the movie, like when he has Robert Forster show up as a detective for a single scene. The Forster role is likely in part a leftover from the movie's origins as a TV pilot, but the effect is similar (albeit less comedic). Melissa George appears as a woman who may or may not be a replacement for Watts in some realm of reality. Other directors obviously cast actors for their screen presence and the audience's relationship to their career, but the way Lynch does it feels particularly pointed, as if he's reshaping them entirely into iconography. The effect is particularly sinister with the presence of Michael J. Anderson, with whom he worked previously on Twin Peaks, and Monty Montgomery as a mysterious cowboy who dangles the secret of the movie over Theroux's character.

Cowboys in movies are frequently heroic presences (see any number of westerns) and are otherwise innocuously stylish (I confess I've come dangerously close to ordering a Stetson hat and a pair of cowboy boots), but the presence of one here feels like a ripple in the movie's reality. A dreamy, brightly lit mystery set in Los Angeles should have no place for a cowboy. It ain't right. (It's worth noting that Lynch at one point copped to admiring Ronald Reagan for reminding him of a cowboy. Is this his expression of a changed opinion? I have no idea, but Lynch has never struck me as all that politically minded.) Neither is the hobo that appears behind the diner. Certainly hobos have made their homes behind diners, but this one's presence and the way Lynch produces him feel again like a ripple in the the movie's narrative. Jump scares are frequently knocked for being lazy and cheap devices to generate shocks, but the one here gets under your skin.

Now about the movie's look. This starts off like a noir, and the mystery plot on paper would lead you to think that's how the whole movie plays, but the cinematography is a lot brighter, with almost confection-like colours, than that would lead you to believe, at least during the daytime scenes. This is another element that likely comes from its TV origins, but it does give the movie a distinctly dreamlike, fantastical quality that a more overtly cinematic look, like the one Lynch used in Lost Highway a few years earlier, might not capture. This is one of the reasons I think this movie works better than that one, and there's also the fact that the amateur sleuthing that drives the bulk of the plot here serves as a more pleasing audience vantage point than the male anxieties that fuel the other film. I also would much rather hang out with Naomi Watts and Laura Harring than a charisma void like Balthazar Getty.

The manufactured warmth of the daytime scenes also results, like in Blue Velvet, in the nighttime scenes feeling like they're in a completely different setting, one which perhaps offers the key to unlocking the mystery, or at least revealing the phoniness of the movie's surfaces. I think of the evocative Club Silencio sequence, which comes as close as anything in the movie to laying its illusions bare. ("No hay banda.") But at times Lynch will throw in disarmingly childlike, inexplicable imagery, like the dancing couples against a purple screen in the opening, something that would seem tacky and amateurish elsewhere but feels oddly cohesive here. There are a number of directors whose work I admire for being "dreamlike", and putting them side by side they all feel quite distinct (you would never mistake a Lucio Fulci film for a Lynch), but they have the unifying idea of imbuing the tactile qualities of film with the truly irrational to really burrow into your subconscious. Other directors have made movies with some of the same elements as Mulholland Drive, but none have put them together in quite the same way.

[shesaysweirdthings]

Once every day, I will walk to the balcony of my place, chug a huge sip of water from my bottle and look up at the sky, or the huge asymmetrically symmetric tree behind the house right in front of ours or just the neon light from a nearby multi storied hotel. I wonder if today will be the day. Next I look down to the dark green garden and its countless shadows on the little square concrete just at the entrance. I stand and wonder. One choice, and in less than a second, I'd be down there. But I'd have to angle my fall to make sure my head hits the concrete and brain death will lead to my eventual death. My head hitting the soft grass will just make me a stupid girl who attempted suicide who will now receive perpetual pity from everyone, maybe a couple of broken ribs, worst case, a broken spine and paralysed life. Who wants that if you're goal is the sweet death?

Vividly, I see my body lying there on that concrete after an inhumane thud. Blood starting to ooze out of the part of my head that kissed the ground as it's final goodbye. Arms and legs twisted at unimaginable angles and eyes wide open, welcoming the afterworld, hoping it will be a bit kinder, or bearable at the least.

My landlord and landlady will probably be the first ones to witness the shell of a body lying there. Will they scream at the sight or will they make their way with their wobbly feet to ring the bell, at the side of her house, to our upstairs unit. I can imagine her looking up from below as my brother inquires of of her, if she'd have tears in her eyes or will her voice quiver, will she give any hint as to the spectacle of the scene in her front yard?

For the Landlord, it's just another nuisance he wasn't prepared to deal with in his 80s. He will wonder how long will it take to remove the body from his sight so he can peacefully listen to his prime time news. Unfortunately for him, it will be a long night. He should be prepared for the worst. Or maybe he's just found another reason to ask my family to move out of the unit. A daughter who committed suicide is a pretty good reason to dislocate the remaining 3 member family, right?

I imagine my brother who will come down the stairs, irritated as to why he's being called in the middle of his game. But mostly, he's angry as to where his sister is. Why is she not answering the bell? She should be doing these things at least. She's not earning, this is the least she can do to pay back her family right? He crosses the gravelled path, while his thoughts keep running. I'll take away her phone and laptop privileges starting today, and I won't give it to her till she begs and begs, so probably tomorrow. Wait, there's no one on the main gate, so why did she summon me? Don't tell me there's something wrong with her phone again, I left my game upstairs for...............

Meanwhile, my dad will be coming back from the construction site, one earphone dangling loosely on his chest, while the other playing bhajans in his ears, his lips engaged in an irritated rant with himself, blaming his choice of constructor, wondering if his choice will pave the path to a disastrous future. As he opens the gate and enters, he's planning to drink a warm cup of ginger tea. He will definitely not tell his daughter that it's his 4th cup of the evening, because then she will be angry. Speaking of path, why is his son sitting at the verandah this late? Did Uncle call him down? He will definitely be pissed. Wait, they're all looking down at something. What is it, definitely something insignificant, Uncle has a tendency to overstate............

Having completed her evening prayers, as she makes her way to the tulsi on the balcony, my mother's looking for me. Chanting the religious words, she's thinking my daughter didn't make the chapatis. How many times have I told her to make them before I end my prayers. One glance at the clock, and her first thought is, time's up. Now I'm not going to eat any dinner. No matter how much she forces me to eat, I'm not going to eat anything. Why was she late, her laptop is here so she's not taking her classes. Where is she? She prays at the tulsi and picks up the clothes she hung in the afternoon out to dry. Thinking aloud, she says, If I don't say, nothing in this house will ever be done. Why can't she use some of her idle time to bring these washed clothes inside and fold them neatly? However will she survive at her in laws' place I wonder. They will only blame me and my upbringing. But I never passed on this tardiness, how did she turn out like this I wonder. Casually she looks down at the garden, her thoughts frozen mid-rant.

If my brother will blame himself for not having walked faster when called downstairs, or my dad blaming himself for always being engrossed in his bhajans and not focusing his only daughter, or if my mom will control herself from not falling off the ledge herself, I don't know. My thoughts freeze here too. Maybe cause I've already passed on to the other side by this time. Or maybe, my brother shoves my non-pulse body in the back of his car, wipes the blood off the concrete with bleach comes up and apologizes to his online friends for being AFK. My father will help him with the body, come up and give the news to my mother, who will casually walk to the kitchen and call after her husband if he needs a cup of tea and if yes, if with or without ginger. And while sipping the ginger/non-ginger tea, my mom will numbly say, "Well the trash took itself out! I'll make everyone their chapatis for dinner, but I won't have any, because look at the clock, it's past my dinner time!"

Key:-

AFK:- away from keyboard (gaming language, when a player of an online game leaves his keyboard, his character stops moving in the game and his progress in the online game stops for the time being. May lead to penalty in some cases)