#but this time on a physical copy cause screens give me mad headache

[my-name-is-apollo]

Honestly one of the best parts of the iliad.

Ares: *losing as usual, nothing new*

Poseidon: *fondly reminiscing his companionship with Apollo when they both worked as slaves while also challenging him to a fight just because*

Apollo: nahhhhh *insert profound and smart quote about the nature of humanity*

Artemis: you coward, f@#king b#&@ p<$$y

Apollo: *ignores the hell out of her* whatever I should get back to the war

Artemis: *gets smacked by Hera and ends up crying and complaining about it*

Hermes: I'm not crazy enough to fight someone who was crazy enough to sleep with Zeus ✌️

Obsessed with BkXXI:383-525 of the iliad actually. This is after Achilles fights a river (and LOSES) before getting rescued by some gods. Then up on Olympus we have a brief little intermission. The girls are fighting

Ares challenges Athena, calling her a gadfly and saying she'll pay for enabling Diomedes stabbing him a few books back. He goes and stabs her shield, and she steps back and knocks him out with a stone. Then she laughs and gloats over his vaguely unconscious body, laughing over how his mom isn't even on his side. Youch. If I were ares I'd just die tbh

THEN. WHILE SHE ISN'T LOOKING. Aphrodite helps ares up and they try to sneak off, but Hera snitches on them both and sics Athena on them. That's so sad actually. Imagine your own mom sending her stepdaughter to body you and your girlfriend. Athena strikes Aphrodite and both her and ares fall to a heap on the ground. Athena continues gloating.

Poseidon sees this and feels left out somehow. My guy turns to his nephew and tries to goad him into fighting, even offering Apollo the first punch because he's older and more experienced. How shameful would it be to go back home without fighting with your nephew. Truly a disgrace. He's me fr. the girls are fighting and so must i. Apollo, smartly, declines this, saying that he'd be insane to fight his uncle over some mortals' quarrel.

And then Artemis calls him a pussy. Calls him spineless. Bitch why are you carrying a bow if you won't even fight. Reveals that he's boasted about beating Poseidon before. This is so sad, this is worse than my family reunions. Apollo doesn't respond but HERA on the other hand.

SHE TAKES ARTEMIS' BOW AND QUIVER AND BEATS HER UP WITH IT?? JUST ABSOLUTELY WHALES ON HER UNTIL SHE STARTS SOBBING AND RUNS AWAY? She leaves her weapons behind, and Hermes sees this. He tells Artemis' mother Leto that he has no quarrel with her, not wanting to get in trouble with Zeus. He offers to let her say that she bested him in combat and she takes her daughter's weapons and leaves to go after Artemis.

Then Artemis goes running to daddy and cries at his lap. Zeus hugs her (and I will say this time and time again. That man is a girl dad it is so funny. He will spit in ares' face and then laugh at Athena's jokes) and asks what's wrong. Artemis says Hera is to blame

Obsessed with "Why, it's as if they had caught you out in public doing something wrong..."

It's giving "is there something you forgot to tell me?"

All the rest of the gods then sulk back home to Olympus, all but Apollo, who flies back to troy to make sure Achilles isn't causing Too Much damage which is hilarious because that man was on the verge of tears getting his ass beat by a river a few lines back

[jreed3842]

Video Game Survey!

So! I’m bored... Like... Hella bored. So I found this survey (questions created from 8bitrevolver) and I’m going to answer these questions like it’s 2005 and I’m doing a MySpace survey! Ready? Let’s-a Go! 1. First game you played obsessively? Obsessively... Hmm... When I was very little I played a lot of Wario’s Woods and Super Mario Bros. 2. But! I think I was a little more obsessive towards Super Mario Bros. 2! 2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. Either the Legend of Zelda or Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. I have written fanfics based off of those games!

3. Who did you play with as a kid? My sister and my step-sister

4. Who do you play with now? My boyfriend and my college friend.

5. Ever use cheat codes? My dad used to have a Game Genie for the NES, and I loved messing around with that thing. Sometimes it would totally fuck up the game cause I would just put in totally random codes! 6. Ever buy strategy guides? The only strategy guide I remember buying was for Super Smash Bros. Melee. If I remember correctly it came out before the game actually did, and I bought it and looked through it to help build up my hype! 7. Any games you have multiple copies of? No. 8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection? Uh... N/A 9. Most regrettable purchase? Yooka-Laylee for the Switch (at least that’s my most recent I can think of.) 10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours? No. 11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games? No. 12. Ever get picked on for liking games? No. 13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has? Ooo. Probably. I haven’t played any of the Metroid games. I’m sure there’s a big title that I can’t think of. Uhhh. Fortnite and PubG? Uh.... Halo. Or any famous first person shooter games. 14. Favorite game music? Legend of Zelda music is high on my list. I love the Stone Tower Temple music. I love Fi’s theme from Skyward Sword. I love Dragon Roost Island. I love the music from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars as well. Like the Forest Maze, Midas Falls, and Rose Town.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick? Maybe the Super Mario mushroom or the Triforce?  16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL? Mario Kart, cause I’m a beast. 17. Ever lose a friend over a game? No 18. Would you date someone that hates gaming? I have before... it kinda sucked. Like he got mad at me because I just bought Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story and I was playing that instead of like... following him outside so he could smoke. He wasn’t a very nice person.... 19. Favorite handheld console? The 3DS I suppose. 20. Game that you know like the back of your hand? Either Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars or Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. 21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now? Hmmm.... I can’t think of anything. 22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories? Yes. 23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?  Either Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars or Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Lol. 24. First Pokemon game? Pokemon Blue! Bulbasaur was my first Pokemon ever! 25. Were you ever an arcade game player? No. 26. Ever form any gaming rivalries? No. 27. Game that makes you rage? I get ragey when games give me really LONG challenges. Like where the difficulty lies in how long the challenge is and if you fail you have to start all over. That is what makes me rage. Most recent example is Super Smash Bros. for Wii U trying to complete All-Star mode on Hard difficulty with several characters.... Getting so close only to have to start all over again makes me ragey. Lol 28. Ever play in a tournament? No. 29. What is your gaming set up? We have 3 Nintendo Switches in this house. My dock is hooked up to my TV. Warren’s dock is underneath mine not hooked up to anything but plugged in to act as a charging station. Reece’s Switch is hooked up to the living room TV. If Warren wants to play his switch he just places it into my dock. 30. How many consoles do you own? 2. Nintendo 3DS and a Nintendo Switch. I had a Wii U but I gave it to my sister. 31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches? Yes!! Never played the Virtual Boy, but I can’t really use the 3D of the 3DS, it messed with my eyes. 32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic? Yes. I remember owning the Shrek 2 video game. And I am sure I have a few more, until I came to realize those kind of video games sucked! 33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games? No.

34. Do either of your parents play video games? My dad does quite a bit. He owns as Wii, but plays a lot of mobile games. My mom will play games like Mario Kart, and she really likes Wii Party U and the Pictionary portion of Game & Wario. 35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop? No. And I supposed GameStop is my go-to, but Jesus Balls they’re expensive. 36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game? .... Uhhh? No? I don’t think so? I remember getting very mad and upset at Paper Mario when I was little because I JUST COULD NOT BEAT HUFF-N-PUFF! But it’s because I was going about it totally wrong. And I got yelled at from my Mom because I was getting mad, and she told me to calm down. 37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination? I have not. But I do probably think it is the worst game ever... because it like... single-handledly brought upon the American Video game crash... 38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like? Super Princess Peach. It’s one of the only DS games I still own... 39. A sequel that you would die for them to make? A Sequel to Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.  40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls? Never used Virtual reality headsets. I am afraid it may make me motion sick like 1st person games do. And I am kind of over motion controls now. 41. A genre that you just can’t get into? First Person Shooters. 42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness? ??? Probably my first game Super Mario Bros. 2. Lol.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else? Yes. I think everyone does that. 44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters? Uhh.... N/A

45. How are you at Mario Kart? GURL! I am a beast! You better watch out? Oh is that a Blue Shell coming for me? No Biggie I am so far ahead it doesn’t matter? Another one? Oh looks like you caught up but still can’t pass me. And I don’t even use the heavy characters with high speed, and you’re still eating my dust. :-P 46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon? Never really played them, but I kinda want to get into Animal Crossing because I want to have an easy relaxing game that I can play before bed or something. 47. Do you like competitive games? Mario Kart and Smash, I suppose. 48. How long does it take your to customize your player character? Not too long. 49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character? Yes. 50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create? Uhh... A game where you are the damsel in distress, but you escape and your journey is getting back home. 51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep? I never forget to sleep, but I have gone for a long time without eating and then I’m like “Damn, I’m hungry... Oh I haven’t had food for 12 hours.” Lol 52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid? Super Smash Bros. Melee, Luigi’s Mansion, Paper Mario, and probably the first few Mario Parties. 53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days? If they are good, it’s fine. If it feels like an actual addition to the game instead of just “Oh the game wasn’t done, here’s some more you gotta pay for.” Like.... The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild did a good job with the Champion’s DLC. Like the game would be fine without it, but it just added some extra flavor (and totally made me fall in love with Urbosa.) 54. Do you give in to Steam sales? I do not have Steam account. 55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them? I do not play Sims. 56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests? No. Never played it. 57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements? YES! I am very much a completionist.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick? Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Mario Kart 8. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. 59. Do you play any cell phone games? Pokemon Go is the only one I really play. 60. Do you know the Konami Code? Yes. My dad and I were just talking about it. 61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever? I trade them, that’s why I like the physical copies.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game? Not really. I buy the Nintendo consoles because I know there will be games I’ll want to play. 63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? No. 64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming? No. 65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file? My dad had a Game Genie (see previous question) and I don’t think it ever messed up the save files, but it did mess up the way the game looked. I remember using it on Super Mario Bros. 2 and it totally messed up the pause screen. Like enemies were flying around on there, it was silly! 66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it? Yes.

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share? I always look back fondly on playing games with my sister and step-sister. We played a lot of Mario Party 1 and 2, Mario Party 4, 5, and 6. Super Smash Bros. Melee, and Mario Kart 64, Double Dash, and Wii.

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool? No. 69. In your opinion, best game ever made? Either Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars or Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Lol. 70. Very first game you ever beat? The first game I ever beat on my own without my Dad’s help was Yoshi’s Island for the Super Nintendo! **BONUS QUESTION** A Question I just made up. 71. Who is your most wanted character in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate? I have wanted Toad as a playable fighter since the Melee days, and now I really want to see Captain Toad make it into Super Smash Bro!