#but this other noir one?????? is a fucking gem. and i love it. and one day. i'll.......write it........

[flightfoot]

Top Ten Best Completed Miraculous Fics Of 2023

So I've made reclists for a ton of the Miraculous fics and series I recommend that finished in 2023, but as you may have noticed, those are rather expansive. So I decided to do a ranking of the ten best Miraculous fics from 2023 as well! (at least in my eyes). These naturally trend towards longer fics, though there are some that are on the shorter end. The shortest is under 30,000 words!

A lot of these you could swap around the order on, but the top fic... yeah the top fic is top for a reason.

Some of these fics were really popular, while others are virtually unknown, they run the entire gamut. I hope everyone checks these out though if they haven't already, there's both some hidden gems and some very well recognized gems in here!

All of these were part of earlier reclists that I made. All of those fics are in this collection I set up on AO3 called "Keyseeker's Choices For Best Completed Miraculous Fics of 2023". I really hope everyone checks it out, I've got commentary/reviews for every entry in the collection, and there are over 150 entries!

I'm gonna just be copying the descriptions I wrote for the fics on the earlier reclists, as I wrote those shortly after finishing reading the fics when they were fresh in my mind, and as great as these fics are, I don't have the time nor bandwidth to reread them all.

10.

Found by @trishacollins

Chat Noir and Ladybug need to tie up some loose ends. Unfortunately, one of those ends is Felix.

This is a fantastic fic! It’s part of a wider series wherein Adrien and Felix were friends with Nooroo and Duusu from a younger age, but Adrien’s memory was wiped of it by his parents, but this is the first fic you really need to read. Basically, after the events of Emotion, Chat confronts Felix about what he did, and Felix confesses to being a Sentibeing, and Duusu reveals to Chat that he is one as well, leading to Felix cooperating with the heroes. 

Of all the fics I’ve read that tackle the subject, this one does the best job of giving Felix a redemption arc for his actions in the season 4 finale, focusing not only on how he hurt the heroes, but the kwamis. I loved that he truly understood how much he fucked up with the situation he put the kwamis in, how much suffering he put them through, and that the kwamis were allowed to be angry at him for awhile afterwards, to be suspicious and untrusting towards him at first (and that Marinette was allowed to do the same). Felix screwed up and hurt people, and he had to really show that he understood what he did was wrong, why it was wrong, and try to help the people he hurt.

---

9.

The Ghost in the Machine by @jheqiawrites

As part of this function, Adrien knew about Monarch, the akuma butterflies, the victims, and, of course Ladybug and Cat Noir, the heroes of Paris. He was authorized to contact the Ladyblog as well as the citywide alert system if one of his platforms was active during an akuma manifestation, allowing his friends to get somewhere safe until Ladybug and Cat Noir could deal with the situation

While the necessity of these functions was disconcerting, it was programmed to be his routine so he gradually grew used to the inconsistencies. After all, humans tended to be selfish, highly inconsistent, and often flighty, but once you had observed them for a while an intelligence such as his could begin to see the patterns.

That is until she came online.

This is just a beautiful, though bittersweet story. I adore how Alliance!Adrien grows and changes throughout the story, how he develops as a person. He starts off not being able to figure out what he’s feeling, needing to make new modules in order to try to process the emotions he has welling up, and not totally understanding his own reactions. But as time goes on he grows and gets a better handle on himself. This isn’t an “evil AI” story, he’s just a person who’s slowly figuring out who he is and how to handle himself. 

Not that it’s entirely about Adrien Alliance figuring out his own emotions, there’s other things going on as well. He’s worried about why there seems to be weird surges in the Alliance Network right before akumas attack, for instance, and why the details about the reason for that seem to be hidden from him, making him more paranoid about the Alliance system the more he looks into it...

 It’s just... it’s really good and absolutely worth a read. 

---

8.

Kwami Magi Homura Magica by Crossoverpairinglover

After eighty-four loops in time, Homura Akemi takes a new path to Paris to save her friends.

The sixty-third loop after that, Homura arrived at the Agreste Mansion.

After clash after clash with the heroes of Paris and its greatest menace, events have reached a tipping point.

Ladybug faces someone verging on a second wish, a wish that endangers space and time to save a friend.

This was an absolutely AMAZING story that crossoverpairinglover dropped out of NOWHERE. Seriously, if you like Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Miraculous Ladybug, this is a real treat - but be prepared to sit down and binge, because it’s over 100,000 words and only has three chapters. 

Anyway, I adore the care that’s taken with going through Homura’s mindset here, she gets a lot of character focus. And the lore! There’s some good explanations here for the history behind kwamis and Incubators’ interactions, and the Order of the Guardians normally treats Magical Girls, and why the Incubators are wrong in their assessment of the universe needing more energy to stave off entropy (hint: it involves Plagg), and just... there was a lot of love put into this.

And the action! Most Miraculous fics don’t have much in the way of fight scenes, and what they do have is mostly just functional. This is one of the rare exceptions. There’s some really long, detailed fight scenes in this (roughly the entire second half of the second chapter has one between Ladybug and Homura), which are a treat to read! 

We also get some glimpses into a variety of other universes here, other timelines, alternate ways things could have gone down - I’m especially partial to the rather detailed view we get of one where Homura sent a message asking for help to the Ladyblog on her third time loop, and how things progressed from there. 

The ending I also thought was really good, a happy ending that generally made sense and dealt with the issue of the Incubators. 

If you can’t tell I’m really happy with this fic, it was incredible and unexpected. The length of the individual chapters can be daunting, but if you’re up for the task, I highly recommend giving it a shot!

---

7.

you made me a hero - reverse crush short stories series by @non-fantasy

This series is just plain fun! Like the title says, it’s a reverse crush AU, so Adrien’s head-over-heels for Marinette, while Ladybug’s smitten with Chat Noir. Which means that Adrien’s constantly trying to woo Marinette while Ladybug’s attempting to have normal conversations with Chat Noir (and failing), and both of them are oblivious to each other’s feelings. 

I love the way non-fantasy executes it, with Alya literally carrying around a spray bottle because of how eager Adrien is, and Ladybug being VERY SCARY if you ever lay a finger on Chat Noir (seriously akumas will literally beg for their akumatized object to be broken just to escape her wrath). 

Oh, also, Ladybug regularly stops by Adrien’s room so they can both lament how difficult of a time they’re having wooing their crushes, and just have fun together.

There’s a lot of entries in this series - 29 of them in fact - but most of them are pretty short, making it great if you want to devour some quick, cute, hilarious romcom action! 

Some stuff does actually change over the course of the series, it’s not just slice-of-life. Like identity reveals, dating, and even Hawkmoth’s defeat, so there’s clear progression and changes in circumstances as well.

---

6.

The Parable of the Caller by @nemaliwrites

A week after Hawk Moth’s identity has been revealed, Adrien finds himself with nowhere to go, nothing he can do, and worst of all, strange gaps in his memory he can’t explain. In a stroke of luck, he stumbles upon a burner phone filled with voicemails from one of the Saviors of Paris: Chat Noir himself, who disappeared following Hawk Moth’s arrest.

But with each new voicemail Adrien listens to, he’s forced to confront the fact that there might be some kind of connection between himself and Chat Noir — and discovering it might leave him more broken than before.

I absolutely adore this fic, it’s a fantastic character study for Adrien! Basically in this universe, Ladybug and Chat Noir talked about who should be Guardian, with Chat eventually convincing her that he should be the one to take it on, primarily due to the whole “the Guardian gets amnesia about Miraculous-related matters” situation, and wanting to protect Ladybug from that. Then he finds out Gabriel is Hawk Moth, they take him down, and he relinquishes the Miracle Box and his guardianship to Su Han - all without having a Reveal with Ladybug, since well, he’s not in the greatest shape mentally at the time.

It’s a real treat to see Adrien’s thoughts and feelings about one of the Heroes of Paris leaving him all these voicemails, treating him like this close friend for reasons he doesn’t understand, and just seeing Chat Noir as this outside person. He’s got a very different viewpoint on Chat when looking from the outside than he would from the inside, with being able to see his heroic and good qualities far more easily when he doesn’t know that he is Chat.

Also Marinette’s struggling in the background of the fic with the loss of her partner and guilt over sending Adrien’s father to prison. It gets touched on at various points, and you can tell that she’s having her own story off to the side that we’re just not entirely privy to, what with this tale being told entirely from Adrien’s perspective.

---

5.

Dreams of You by @chocoluckchipz

Dreams had long been his only escape. Dreams of Ladybug, the girl who had always been there for him.

If only in his dreams. And only while she was also sleeping.

Because with the first rays of sunshine gliding over her skin, with the first fluttering of her eyelashes, from the moment she opened her eyes in the morning, memories of Adrien would vanish from her mind.

She would go on living her life.

He would always be the only one who remembered.

At least until they meet in the real world and fall in love all over again, something that would’ve been easier to do if Adrien wasn't a prisoner in his own home.

Chocoluckchipz has some of the most beautifully executed lovesquare fics I’ve read, and this is no exception. Most of the fic is dedicated to Adrien wooing Marinette, spending time with her, with her own dream self acting as his wingman, giving her tips on how to get her to fall for him, all the while frustrated that she can’t share memories with her waking self, and that she and Adrien can’t share as much information as they’d like while asleep, due to limitations of the “curse” that allows Adrien to share dreams with his soulmate. 

It’s not all cute Adrienette fluff though. There’s a threat in the background waiting to erupt, as the weirdness of Gabriel’s ultimatum to Adrien about finding Ladybug or else being forced to marry Lila keeps on gnawing at him - and with good reason. This is a world with magic and kwamis still, and that fact makes itself very relevant in the last third of the story. 

It’s a well-written tale and very much worth a read!

---

4.

Accidents Are Also Miracles by @liiinerle

After a few turbulent days where four new people discover her secret identity, Marinette loses faith in her ability to keep the secret hidden. Wracked with doubts and insecurities, she pleads with Alya to take over as Scarabella, but she still can't let those worries go. Especially not once Monarch starts taking a particular, and personal, interest in her.

Along the way, she also starts to date Kagami, and has to deal with changing feelings about herself, Adrien, Alya, Kagami, and the idea of being Ladybug. At the same time, Alya works to uncover Monarch's secret identity, while Kagami struggles against a controlling parent, and a girlfriend who seems bent on destroying herself - with or without Monarch's involvement.

Fantastic Marigami fic here! You’ve got three major POVs in this fic: Marinette, Kagami, and to my delight, Alya. I loved getting to see Alya cope with taking over as Scarabella especially.

But of course, this fic centers more around Marinette and Kagami, with Marinette struggling with Monarch targeting her, and Kagami struggling against her abusive parent, as well as both of them trying to navigate their relationship together when they know that not everyone will approve. 

There’s also some other plots going on in here, like Sabrina breaking away from Chloe and becoming more independent (and closer to Adrien in fact), as well as a Lila takedown plot, though thankfully not one that involves demonizing other characters. While there are conversations about people believing Lila and siding with her, no one’s actually attacked for it except for Lila herself.

Oh yeah, and while this fic may not have much focus on Adrien, he’s still treated fairly and with respect, even when he messes up. He can make mistakes, but people understand where he’s coming from, and are still kind to him and want things to be okay, and to help him escape his abusive circumstances.

---

3.

Between the Heavens and the Embers by @readersmoon

Everyone in Paris remembers the fateful night of January 16, when the city was attacked by the most powerful and destructive akuma ever created. The assault, which lasted for hours, resulted in the death of 439 people.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was among the casualties.

Years later, Adrien hasn't been able to move on, haunted by the memories of her broken body. So, when the opportunity to leave Paris for a while presents itself, he doesn't hesitate. But this trip might end up giving him more than he ever dreamt of.

This is a fantastic fic, though a serious and a dark one - make sure to mind the tags, and it’s M-rated for a reason. Vee - or rather, Marinette - is going through a horror story here. Imagine finding out that your life is a lie, that everyone you thought you could trust was manipulating you, that you were just being continually gaslit for years. 

As for Adrien, Alya, and Nino... well, none of them took Marinette’s “death” all that well, especially Adrien. Finding out that she’s been alive all this time, in these horrible circumstances, and they had no clue... it’s hard on them as well.

I love how this fic goes into how much trauma everyone has even after the immediate danger’s dealt with, you don’t just walk off this kind of experience, especially with how many years this lasted.

---

2.

drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat

Everybody had expected Monarch's defeat to be a moment of triumph. Nobody had expected Gabriel Agreste, unmasked and mind frayed from continual abuse of the miraculous, crying out to all who would listen and making Paris certain of one thing:

His son, Adrien Agreste, is one of his sentimonsters.

And now he's missing.

Nobody can find him— not even the superheroes, and not even his closest friends. But Marinette, Nino, and Alya aren't ones to give up so easily. They'll find him, no matter what it takes.

(But, geez, would it kill Chat Noir to lend a hand?)

I’m sure everyone saw this one coming. If there’s one thing buggachat’s good at, storywise, it’s capturing raw, tumultuous emotions, frantic breakdowns as the characters desperately try to navigate bad situations. This was a real treat to read, as I’m betting most people reading this will agree, given just how popular the fic has been. It also has a ton of fanart, both by buggachat and by random fans, if you go looking for it (there’s a drowning in plain sight tag which I’d advise perusing). 

---

1.

one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

---

So that's my list! I'm sure many people will disagree with me (especially since most of these fics haven't even cracked 1000 kudos, so there are a lot of other fics out there that people have read more of), but these fics made the biggest impression on me this year, and I hope they make an impression on you as well!

[hamsterclaw]

Fic Library: Namjoon

A list of incredible fics I've read and re-blogged on my (almost) 2 years on here. These stories all celebrate our fave big, brainy, clumsy, sometimes annoying, always sexy Joon, check them out and give these authors some love!

The Body Through Time by @yeoldontknow. KNJ x f! reader, sexy academia AU. Angsty fic with Namjoon as a smouldering brainiac.

Goodnight Nabi by @sahmfanficbts. Get used to seeing Sam's handle in my lists because she's one of my fave writers and a lovely person to boot. KNJ x f! reader, sexy DILF mechanic Namjoon. A sexy, beautiful fic with Sam's signature hope and heart.

Pronoia by @junghelioseok. KNJ x reader, college + zombie apocalypse AU. A cracky, funny, zingy story with guest appearances from other members - including JK and Yoongi.

Booty Jorts by @miscelunaaa, who also has a good showing in my fic recs for her top notch writing and just being a great human. KNJ x f! reader - this is a smuttily delicious gem.

Shell-ter by @miscelunaaa. Hermit crab! Namjoon x marine biologist reader. I genuinely think about this grumpy (crabby?!) Namjoon all the time.

Scent of a woman by @sahmfanficbts. Leopard hybrid parfumerie boss! Namjoon x employee f! reader. There's always so much humanity in Sam's stories, and this does not disappoint.

How I love you by @ahundredtimesover. KNJ x f! reader. A 28k beautiful musing on love and marriage that's thought-provoking and sensitively written.

Seoul Redemption by @sahmfanficbts. Forger! KNJ x single mom! reader. A gorgeously realised imagining with a noir vibe and very human characters.

Park and Ride (Explicit) by @here2bbtstrash. KNJ x reader, idolverse. The first story I read by M, and it made me want to read so much more of her work. Sexy, fast-paced, and this Namjoon is swoonworthy.

Holding on letting go by @augustbutwinter. KNJ x gn! reader. August is queen of the short impactful drabble but her longer pieces are just as incredible. A sad, angsty, truthful, beautifully realised gem.

Cuffing Szn by @miscelunaaa. FBI agent KNJ x soft-bodied/plus-sized reader. Joon's an FBI agent, he's big and sexy, do you really need to know any more?

Reckless by @vyduan. Part of the Her multiverse. KNJ x reader, also featuring JJK x reader, idolverse. I started reading vyduan's writing when I first got into BTS fanfic, and apart from being a fucking fantastic writer, she's also an all-round good egg with a razor sharp wit. Reckless is hot and sexy and reader is gritty, strong and kickass. Namjoon is the arrogant pompous asshole of my dreams in this.

Fall apart & redefine by @ugh-yoongi. Idol KNJ x f! reader. Namjoon's music and musings give off sadboi vibes to me, and this gorgeous, angsty story captures all of that. Stunning.

On the line 1 by @augustbutwinter. KNJ x reader. I was only speaking the truth when I said August writes drabbles like no other. Short, cute and impactful.

Hey, it's me by @yoongiphoria. Exes Namjoon x reader. I remember reading this for the first time around the time Indigo came out and thinking how perfectly it captured the vibe of the album. I still love it now.

Untitled by @ahundredtimesover. An idolverse AU ft KNJ and f! reader. Musings on loss and impermanence and legacies also inspired by Indigo.

If this is all we can do by @yoongiphoria. A follow up to Hey, it's me, linked above, that made me stop skim reading and pay attention. Angsty, full of longing and just a great read.

The package thief by @blog-name-idk. KNJ x f! reader, enemies to lovers. I'm a fan of Mango's cracky humour, and it comes through in this judgy, petty and somehow also endearing Namjoon.

Shut up! by @daechwitatamic. KNJ x gn reader. I love it when a story alludes to Namjoon being annoying and I especially like how reader shuts him up. Smutty, sexy and so so good.

Envy by @whatifyoulivelikethat. KNJ x f! reader. Love this author's general DGAF vibes, and they've also written some of my favourite stories. Namjoon's gorgeously written and darkly sexy in this. So so hot.

The one with Namjoon and the u-haul by @eoieopda. KNJ x Jeon! reader. Jade's writing is sharply hilarious and this is a perfect example. A dreamy, sexy Namjoon and a lil shit JK.

Pheromones by @rmnamjoons. Spaceship captain Joon x spaceship botanist reader, sci-fi AU. The fic that introduced me to the concept of sex pollen and a sexy, sex-crazed yet somehow still chivalrous Namjoon.

Promise Me KNJ x f! reader, JJK x f! reader, military AU, by @sahmfanficbts. A beautifully written, tender love story that made me cry and reflect on my life. Sam writes emotions like no one else.

Additional notes: A few of my favourite Namjoon stories, are only on AO3, for which I've created a separate post.

[roach-works]

oh man, thanks for the Find Us Alive rec, highly enjoying it. for some reason it isn't playing nicely with my podcatcher of choice, podcast addict, so I've been listening to them through youtube, which has the bonus of reading other people's comments, which is fun! do you have any other podcast recs?

unfortunately i almost always listen to audiobooks instead so my recommendation is to get the libby app and sign up for a brooklyn library card. find us alive was the first podcast i've really tried since getting frustrated with the magnus archives (they mumble everything and then the ads are at top volume for a devastatingly irritating combo effect) because i love scps and saw some good memes.

im gonna recommend the years-old radio-style podcast, The Thrilling Adventure Hour, specifically the segment Beyond Belief with Frank And Sadie Doyle, because no one else i know ever listened to it and i loved it and it still makes me laugh to re-listen.

basically two high society married alcoholics want to get drunk and fuck nasty on their own, alone, in peace, but they're both super powerful spiritual mediums so everyone keeps begging them for help and it's very annoying to them. sometimes their gumshoe detective pal pterodactyl jones shows up and they all talk like it's a noir. i cannot emphasize enough how much i love this unrepentantly goofy little gem of a show.

[lauren-no-why]

💕🎥💎!!

ok ok while my work computer is tied up crunching away at bird data:

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Oh my god you've given me permission to just go off endlessly on Johnnie, you're a gem.

For the folks reading this who don't already know him, Johnnie Redmayne is an absolute joy. Kid brother to the two current (well, 1967 current) leaders of the World Enders gang, Johnnie is a thrillseeker, a hedonist, the type to leap before he looks, to live with zero regrets, and most of all, he just wants to have fun. There are a lot of implied but not explicit-in-text reasons for this that have to do with the World Enders being centered primarily in East LA, primarily nonwhite and/or of lower economic class, mostly young rebels during an era of counterculture but instead of the white hippie flower child route they're out there causing violence and mayhem and just loving every minute of it.

Anyway, Johnnie is also dead, murdered essentially in a drug dispute, though that's kind of underselling it but I won't rewrite the whole premise of Vide Noir here. But because this is the time and space and cosmic horror fuckery fantasy drug made from the ashes of dying stars and the void between time and space and reality or whatever, he's presumably confronted with some REALLY HORRIFIC things as his mind is slingshotted out into the void where the dead don't so much float as drown as they're fully overwhelmed with whatever goes on out there. And Johnnie? Well - who the heck does this. He's like "uhhh, no thanks! Nope, I hate this, and I'm not going peacefully, death sucks and is boring at best and really really fucked up at worst, so I'mma take a rain check and go back to where all the fun is. Seeya." And now he's a ghost, out making fun of Buck Vernon on midnight desert highways and probably causing a lot of problems for other people because that's way more fun than the alternative.

He's a character who has the potential to be saddled with so much darkness and misery, so much trauma, and I'm sure it's all in there but instead he's not going to dwell on it or make it his personality because that sucks man. He's taken the World Ender ethos to a new level - live your life how you want, die if it kills you who cares, and skipped past the dying normally part right back to the existing for the sake of finding joy in the chaos and destruction and the booze and the ladies and the not being crushed under the heel of cops and an oppressive society but instead sticking it right back to them.

Anyway this kid is hilarious and wonderful and I sure hope he surfaces in the next album and also Eddie Sandstrom is an absolute delight and he better come back to reprise his role even if he doesn't really look 18 anymore I don't really care.

I'm going to stop and move on now even though I really could keep going. Have a pic.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

Buddy, it's the Dead Man's Hand scene in the movie, how could it not be. Hey Ben feel free to remake this all you like forever, you're doing great.

Also Until the Night Turns if that counts as a scene, because it does in the movie that plays in my head. Massively underrated song by the fandom, this does so much heavy lifting with the characterization and setting and people need to pay it more attention.

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

More! fun! facts! yes let's see. Oh, I think a fun one that's easy to miss is that we actually have an image of Buck Vernon's driver's license and the contents of his wallet. So now you can all know his birth date, height, eye color, etc plus the fact that he keeps SO MANY PHOTOS OF LEE with him. I love this kind of stuff. It's a movie prop that doesn't actually surface in the movie in a viewable form other than I think one of the photos, which is why this isn't on the wiki as not being in the movie itself makes it sort of borderline canon, but it's on the prop designer's website as an example of her work.

[cinemaocd]

Tag Reviews Vol. 1

November Films Watched:

Irma Vep (1996): #ok we have finally watched this it has been on the list for more than five years #interesting commentary on the film industry-angsty arthouse movie that makes fun of angsty arthouse movies #revealing a wriggling mass of hippocrites #paranoiacs and burn outs behind the cameras#and one isolated woman who was being fetishized both as part of the parody and by the film itself #it was really ahead of its time lmao

Ladies in Retirement (1944): #yeah this is really intresting#kind of a hard sell after recently watching arsenic and old lace which is almost a direct parody of this #but some interesting performances and I love having women led stories where the main disruption is a man...such a lesbian vibe about this#especially Elsa Lanchester who stomps around tidying the moors and making ugly arrangements of shells and plants and driftwood in the house#basically me if I had no job or husband/child#anyway...this was interesting though not a hit with the boys and I can see why I guess. Ida Lupino is something to watch in it.

Mermaids (1990): #it's a whole family of manic pixie dream girls and bob hoskins has to try to keep them from murdering each other

#you know I love a bob hoskins lead dramedy#also I learned watching this that my son pronounces “cher” with a hard “CH”#(imagine baltimore accent saying “chair” and that's how he says it I swear)

The Big Sleep (1978): #oh man this was dreadful#the earlier Mitchum as Marlowe film-farewell my lovely--is a classic and one of the great noirs of all time#this follow up...is not#for one thing they just skipped the period setting and moved the whole thing to England because it's still the 1930s in England at all time#the only thing going for it is that it is way easier to follow than the far more stylish and famous 1946 film#thanks to watching this I actually KNOW what happens in the fucking big sleep

Working Girls (1931):#working girls#dorothy arzner#dorothy hall#judith wood#this was good#comedy but very grounded in reality and feels really ahead of its time like something that would be make in the 60s to be honest#pre-code hollywood. #this is a little gem of a comedy...very low key and with a grittier outlook than you'd expect from a few years later#pre-code hollywood#judith wood is really pretty good in this I don't understand why her career died when the code came in

Time Without Pity (1957): #still photos don't michael justice he is such a mess in this and not in a hot way at all#it's the total dissolution of a man's body and soul before your eyes the whole thing is kind of torture to watch from beginning to end#but the cast is stellar and joseph losey cranks up the tension and doesn't let go for a second#without pity indeed#also Dirk Bogard is in it for .5 seconds#as are joan plowright and peter cushing

Canterbury Tale (1944): #Oh I forgot I actually like this movie even though it's slow and ham fisted but I don't mind the whole glue man thing #I kind of wanted Eric Portman not to be real but to turn into some kind of sprite and disappear #Anyway I've been in a very Cahtedral-y mood since being in the old country #and also revisiting the Mirror and the Light#anyway dennis price is really underused in this #but it just makes you appreciate him all the more when he does appear

The Big Sleep (1946): #this film is really confusing but worth making multiple passes at just for the dialog/interactions which honestly every scene is great

[celestiall0tus]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Alright, let's do this:

Tales of Bloody Bug and Chat Noir. Getting the big one out of the way. I love this fic, I love using the canon to reestablish the characters, build them up and remake them, leading to the introduction of Mayura, exploration of the lore we were robbed of in canon (and in the show since they love to add that shit to outside content, fuck them). It is angst, it is drama, and it has been an absolute joy to write. Despite some of the negative comments and people trying to call me racist for facts I didn't know until writing Bloody Bug because, again, the show doesn't outright say things and is said outside of the show, which later damns us all.

Amaranthine. The closest you'd get that is fluff from me. But it is a soulmate Lukanette. It is cute, it is fun, it has a sassy ass petty queen Longg. It is a fun ride.

All That Remained. This is a cheaty one since it's an extended universe, but it counts! All The Remained is a canon divergence from season 5 where the canon kwamis are turned into my system of kwamis. The many stories told within are all a little something special from Marinette adjusting to Reality, Chloe's redemption (and Felix too), up to the inevitable reveal of a new villain. It is a ride and I've been enjoying it.

Rejuvenation. Another cheat, but I enjoyed bringing back my gems and remaking them. It is short, but the little stories for them are, in my opinion, cute.

A Faded Flower. This one has just begun, but I already love it. I love the exploration of PTSD being Pink Pearl's trigger, her unraveling as she discovers the truth again, and leading to her greater journey of discovering where she fits into a post-war, era 3 universe. It's going to be a fun journey for the both of us.

[axailslink]

If I can get around to editing tonight y'all will receive these three gems one is short and the other two are a bit lengthy

You remember my name now

Summary: You have had your eyes set on Rosalie but she has avoided you like no other until she finds out you're not anything like she originally thought.

Snippet from the fic: “ "are you a little different?" It is a valid question in your defense Rosalie is never seen near a man and when one hits on her or tries to get with her she walks the other way." ”

I care about you

Summary: You find yourself falling in love with the enemy who you can barely communicate with.

Snippet from the fic: “ "The kiss is so quick you don't give Shuri enough time to actually enjoy the kiss she just stands there for a moment staring back at you "that was terrible" you burst into laughter and shake your head" ”

Shuri Udaku and Riri Williams

Summary: Shuri and Riri have been looking for something different and you're different.

Snippet from the fic: “ "Riri grabs her hand and shakes it as if to get her point across more "not only can she leave me speechless she put you in your place last night and to top it off she cooking breakfast. If we can't marry her can we at least fuck her again?" ”

Taglist:

@verachii

@mocha-aya

@shurisznn

@lolas-bunny

@louderfortheback

@lucillele

@shuri-lover

@quintessencewrites

@zestgodtj

@yamsthoughts

@sokkasbae255

@saintwrld

@tuesdaylovesu

@rxcently

@yvxmpire

@lunax0654

@homie0sapien

@karimwillia

@adeola-the-explorer

@garbagesleepschedule

@bratydoll

@gubrii

@vampphasecomplete

@ctrl-liah

@trixielwt

@6-noir

@annoyingtidalwavequeen

@atssukoo

@shuri-my-love

@inmyheadimobsessed

@letitias-fav

@rxcently

@iwillbiteabitch

@malltake12

@mxyx-rx444

@kiwidreamersstuff

@secretgyals

@awarm-sundaynight

@shurisnewbabymomma

@shurisbigtoe

@darkangelchronicles

@writesbyriri

@locoforshuri

@mbakuetshurisprincess

[meowsticmarvels]

whats on your mind rn in terms of Games ?

OOH FUN.... assuming you probably asked this bc most of my interests are games LOL but i jhave some Thoughts on games in General and the industry as a whole. buckle up!

- currently im playing. a lot of them obviously but my most recents are persona 5 tactica and the sims 4 :] - fav fav games EXCLUDING THE SPECIAL INTERESTS . - ghost trick, UT/DR, NITW, TS4 ( i havent played any other sims except the sims 2 pets for the 3ds im sorry.), super mario galaxy, goodbye volcano high - the special interest ones include pokemon (fav out of main series is sun/moon, black/white, and scarlet/violet, but i do like many spin offs like mystery dungeon), mii/wii games (i.e. wii sports), minecraft story mode, and the persona games (never finished one but i've reached various distances in P2IS-P5 excluding some spin offs and stuff like i havent started P5S or P2EP. favs r 3 + 4 + tactica) ^ ask me about any of those (or other ones i like i.e. gvh) i WILL ANSWER even if its something thatd be faster with google im better - underrated gems i'd say goodbye volcano high, death road to canada, chicory a colorful tale, signs of the sojourner, aviary attorney, tails noir, blanc. ghost trick to a lesser extent ig but the others are indie - current main wishlist (inc. ones i Will emulate): shin megami tensei V, devil survivor overclocked, fire emblem 3 houses, professor layton, pokemon black 2, persona q2, persona 3 reload ( I Want. Now. its on gamepass but i literally need everything related to it you dont get it.), wii play motion, twewy, and okami. OH also in stars and time and oneshot. also disco elysium and hylics look cool too. AND CASSETTE BEASTS. fuck i hate when every game looks good. need to play murder of sonic the hedgehog also. and looking forward to billy bust up. OH AND I NEED TO PLAY THE STANLEY PARABLE. AND BALDURS GATE 3 - i think the only game i really truly regret buying is 1-2 switch. im sorry it was good for like 2-3 weeks when the switch was new now i just do not care - i love you indie games i love you games that in general are not afraid to be weird and deviate from stuff. get crazy with it - video games r kind of an art form. if you think about it - industry kind of shit !!! stop laying off your devs!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!! its been bad lately even my dad (a QA tester) got laid off a game he was working rly well on because they abruptly cancelled it. ok - i don't care for most FPS games. not my thing. too stressful. not enjoyable for me that much. im more of an RPG guy but i'm open to new things i played like food maker apps when i was a kid - speaking of industry stuff crunch is another thing severely a major problem. and the thing with sag aftra approving ai voices in games. Stop!!!!!!! - i miss e3 :( was a fun thing to look forward to each year - game preservation is also a real issue. like ig i get saving money by killing the servers on old consoles but in nintendos case people still actively use them theyre not that old. kind of dumb. xbox i get it the 360's been out since 2005 but 3ds/wiiu things are younger than me chill out - HATE when good fun mobile games are cash grabby. like STFU its more annoying than anything when they make resources impossible to get without paying. whats the fucking fun in that. i'd rather it be an easy way out last resort than oh i can get like 1 gem every month by doing this BUT if i pay i can get 10 of them for like 10 dolar. like ok die - waiter! waiter! more transgender as hell games please! (i.e. goodbye volcano high. that game changed lives) - also we need more autistic as hell games and i mean canonically. and not fucking Creepy Autism Simulator - more and better accessibility settings!!! i personally dont need many myself but it's important to me that others are able to play a game without severe issues due to disability. indie games doing great abt this based on feedback though ive seen a lot of good ones - any streetpassers in the chat thats all sorry it was long but i have a lot of thoughts abt Games in general. if theres any in particular u wanna hear abt shoot me an ask!!! can be one not on here i'm open to reccomendations or just things ive gathered from people who have :]

[skydaemon]

addressing your tags - tma is pretty good ! my favourite series is the first one bc it's a proper horror anthology with just the slightest hint of some darker shadow. those were the ones i found scariest for that reason, but the whole thing's well-written and acted for the most part.

i love the penumbra podcast for queer genre fiction - starts off as an anthology + one long-form plot, then becomes two long-form plots - one a space noir and the other a fantasy. i think it's great

wooden overcoats might be my fave podcast ever - the story of two rival funeral parlours on a tiny island. it's very surreal (the narrator is a talking mouse) and absolutely and that's why i love it - very bbc radio 4

wolf 359 is very well-known and i love it - sci fi with two parts comedy to one part alien (1979) (later shifts a little closer to the alien end of the spectrum) - the characters are really good in this one

if you like ttrpg actual play then taz, critical role, and rqg (probably the least well-known but still quite popular) are all solid, and there are probably half a dozen other really well-known ones, but my favourite hidden gem is the infinite bad, a cosmic horror actual play set in britain after ww1. the characters really alleviate some of the horror but it's absolutely superb on the oh-my-god-what-the-fuck scale, which is how i like my horror (although there are a couple of scenes in the chicago arc that were upsetting in the bad way) - highly recommend even if you aren't into actual play bc it's mostly just an audio drama with the performers dropping out of character every now and then

what i've heard of malevolent is very fun and a good amount of creepy - it's the story of a private detective who accidentally ends up sharing his brain with a creature from another world, and the creepy stuff they get into - i'm only about halfway through the backlog though so i can't speak for later episodes

the amelia project is super fun - we hear the stories of an organisation who helps people fake their deaths - this one also slowly transitions from anthological to more narrative storytelling, but i feel like it works for me better than tma - fun and a little gory

oh my goodness how did i forget greater boston!! a web-weaving story of the inhabitants of a slightly-au greater boston area (i've heard it described as love actually in massachusetts but also ghosts and cheese robots exist) - characters are so good and the plot is intriguing and funny and complex I LOVE IT

wtnv. nuff said (literally it might be the best-known audio drama podcast of all time i recommend it)

another one i haven't finished but monstrous agonies!! an advice show for supernatural beings, very fun if you like world-building

stellar firma - like rqg and tma, this is a rusty quill original (if that matters to you) - an improvised comedy about people who design planets - it's weird and funny and weirdly heartfelt at times and it's very good

the strange case of starship iris - it's a sci fi crime comedrama but just listen to the first episode bc i'm not spoiling it it's great

death by dying - the obituary writer of a small town solves murders and hangs out with the angel of death. slam dunk.

if you want non-fiction, i like story break, the fairy tellers, off book, off menu, loremen, and telling everybody everything with katherine ryan

hihi does anyone have any podcast recs?

[goggles-mcgee]

Too Late: Alya & Nino (commission for miner249er)

Fourth chapter of @miner249er ‘s commission

Chapter Summary: The truth is harsh. Teens are harsher.

Previous Work

Last Chapter                          Next Chapter

Truth.

As an aspiring journalist it was something Alya strived for. It was the most important thing she could give the people who followed her so diligently. She thought she had been giving them that. She had been so good about giving them the truth, her truth, and Ladybug’s truth in the past, she foolheartedly believed she was continuing to do so despite taking shortcuts later on in the road. Why didn’t she fact check herself? Why did she throw that very thing in Marinette’s face? What kind of reporter was she? What kind of friend was she? The answers were all around her and yet she still wasn’t ready to face them head on. There was still that voice in her head that was telling her that this was all Lila Rossi’s fault. 

But is it? Alya thought as her and Nino ate together at her house, the TV on in the background. At first it had been on the news but Alya was done with the news for a long while, all it had been was coverage of The Protector and Nino had immediately taken the remote and changed it to cartoons. This was hitting him hard, harder than Alya had expected if she was being honest. When they found out Ladybug and Chat Noir had, in fact, not defeated The Protector and instead the akuma, that Marinette had gone missing, it hit the class hard. Hard because they learned the truth about Lila in that time and that had been rough to work through. Then they had to come to the realization that they believed Lila over Marinette, the sweet, kind, selfless girl that had all at one point been friends with. 

Then the lies got to them. It poisoned them. That’s what Alya had written on her blog anyways. They were victims of a silver-tongue and they had paid the price, one they had not been prepared to pay for. Their friend was missing, had been missing and they couldn’t do anything. Alya had been searching through as many local papers and news around the world for any clues if Marinette had possibly gone to those places. Everything was coming up empty. She had even made a separate website along with Max all about Marinette and what had happened, she left ways to reach her and her classmates in case anyone had any info. Nino said they should have added Tom and Sabine’s information as well but Alya was too scared to ask them if they would be okay with it, last time they had all been at the bakery the tension had been palpable. 

They weren’t banned like Nathaniel had worried they would be but every time they went in with their families, because that was the only time they went in there, it was always awkward. Tom and Sabine were much too nice to ban them even if they felt like they deserved it. How did everything go so wrong? Even school wasn’t as fun as it had been. Walking into their classroom was like taking a walk of shame, people from other classes, even teachers just stared at them. Some even glared. Then there were the whispers, Dieu the whispers, they followed them everywhere not just school, but they were the most prominent there. Her, Nino, and their classmates would find notes in their lockers, none were really threatening but they tore at her heart all the same. Things like, ‘You’re the reason she’s gone,’ or, ‘Are you guys proud of yourselves now?’ ‘Were the lies worth it?’ ‘You traded in a gem for fool’s gold.’ ‘What a reporter you turned out to be.’

All the notes hurt. That was the truth. That last one? She had found it in her locker this morning and it burned. Alya had been bullied before, she never liked to think about it, who would? But she was and she had to acknowledge it because she had told herself she would never allow herself to be bullied again, and most importantly, she would never turn into a bully. Wrong. She was wrong, and it wasn’t the first time she had been made aware of this since everything happened. Since everything changed. It was a blessing that Nino and her were still together, he never partook in the “tough love” the class had been giving Marinette before she...before she had been akumatized. Sure he didn’t stop them, and that was bad, but he didn’t go out of his way to not invite her to things until she stopped being “jealous” and started acting like the bigger person. Nino wasn’t the one who ignored her text messages, which now that Alya read them, were pretty telling that her friend had been hurting and she had only made that worse. 

“What are you thinking about babe?”

Alya looked up from her half eaten bowl of soup to see Nino gazing at her in concern. “Marinette.”

“Oh…” He breathed out as he put his spoon down and looked down at the table before placing one of his hands on hers and giving her a small smile. “Everything will be okay Alya. Someone will find her and then she’ll be back home.”

Empty words. Empty words fed to him too much from adults who didn’t have any updates on anything. “You don’t believe that. And even if she did...who's to say she would even want to talk to us!? What’s to say that anything would be better? We would still be seen as the bad guys! We will still all have to eat lunch at our houses or the park just to avoid the stares and the whispers and the tossed trash our way and the “accidentally” spilled drinks!”

Alya had never understood just how much their class had been living in its own little world. Not to say they were completely unattached to the rest of the school, Alix, Nathaniel, Rose, Chloe, and Sabrina were in the art club (the art teacher and the rest of the club had made a mural of Marinette without notifying them or asking for their help. Everyone is encouraged to leave notes about Marinette on the mural. The art room even has a chair decorated in honor of Marinette that no one else can use. That was announced very pointedly Alix later shared.), Rose was in the scrapbooking club (no one asked to use her materials anymore like they used to), and Max was in the gaming club which Marinette had helped him set up (people weren’t showing up lately.) They weren’t kicked out, but they were reminded of Marinette all the time,it was like everyone’s way of punishing them. It had never occurred to any of them how popular Marinette was.

So popular that the whole school seemed to hate them. Even Mlle Mendeleiev seemed to be harsher than normal and that was really saying something, it would seem like she had a soft spot for Marinette. In their class everyone avoided Marinette’s seats in class, Alya had to step up as class representative but the silver lining was that Nino had stepped up to be her deputy. Though another negative was the fact Nino had stopped making his music and taking DJ gigs. At first he hadn’t said anything to her or their friends, Alya found out because of Chris actually, but then her and Adrien confronted him and he broke down. He cried and he didn’t stop for a long time, but when he had calmed enough to talk he pulled out old pictures of him and Marinette, told them stories about how they had grown up together. It had made the pit in Alya’s stomach grow, she had just been thinking about her and how much she blamed herself and how much she missed her best friend, she hadn’t even thought how this was affecting Nino.

“I...I need to believe it Alya. I need to. Because if I don’t I will break apart. Mari...Marinette and I were best friends in l'école primaire. I never thought she would ever not be a part of my life. Then the whole Lila thing happened and I turned into a coward again, like I had with Chloe! No, worse than a coward! I don’t even know what I would call myself but I know I can’t call myself her friend.” His voice rose the more he spoke and near the end it cracked. 

“Nino…”

“No. I know that’s the truth! And I know, I know that things at school have been rough. Hell, they’ve been awful, everyone sees us as these villains in some trashy young teen novel when all we’ve done is make a mistake! Yes. It was a big mistake but it was a mistake nonetheless but we’re...we’re kids dammit. We’re just kids.” Alya felt tears race down her cheeks as she saw her boyfriend break yet again, his cheeks wet with his tears, his voice choked with his guilt. 

“I know. I just...I just want her back. I want everything back. I don’t know how many times we have to apologize to the school, but they’re not even the ones that need to hear the apologies! The one we need to have hear us isn’t here and…” Alya could feel herself breaking but she tried to hold on. Nino needed her to be strong. Her class needed her to be strong. Her family needed her to be strong.

“I can’t take the stares! Or, or hear Rose’s cries that she tries to hide from us. Mylene hasn’t been eating and I know she thinks we don’t notice and Adrien, god Adrien. I’m trying to hold it together because my bro is falling apart at the seams! First Marinette gets...gets fucking akumatized, then his dad and Nathalie get taken to the hospital from some supposedly random attack but it’s pretty obvious it was Mar-the akuma’s doing, his mom freaking pops out of nowhere but of course that can’t just be a good thing because everyone has to talk about how his dad and Nathalie were probably Hawkmoth and Mayura! And I’m over here trying not to think too much about all that because it makes actually too much sense, but then we find out that Marinette was most likely Ladybug! LADYBUG!” He lamented, not bothering to hide the fact he was crying, more like sobbing. It just made Alya cry more.

“I...I wanted the truth for so long, but not like this. Not like this. I...I know this makes me sound like the worst person on the planet but I kind of wish stupid Gabriel Agreste wasn’t Hawkmoth because then I could be akumatized and maybe I could be some kind of time-travelling akuma and we could go back and fix everything and school wouldn’t be hell and the twins wouldn’t act like they had to walk on eggshells around me all the time and my dad wouldn’t look like he’s always so disappointed in me and my mom wouldn’t look at my with only pity in her eyes and Nora would talk to me and Marinette would be back!” Alya sobbed out. At this point her and Nino had moved from their seats to the kitchen floor and were huddled together hugging each other for comfort. 

The two just sat there soaking up whatever comfort they could and dreaded the time that passed. For each minute that passed, was a minute that brought them closer to having to go back to school. Alya didn’t know if she had the strength to go back and deal with everything, she didn’t know if Nino could handle it either, but she knew her mother would be by any minute to give them a lift back to school. If there was a way she could just finish school online, Alya was willing to do it, but her father wouldn’t ever allow it. He had put his foot down, Otis Césaire was mad, then he was disappointed and he thought it only fair that Alya face her peers and continue on at Françoise Dupont. It didn’t feel fair, it didn’t feel fair at all, it felt like punishment. Hadn’t she been punished enough? Even in sleep she wasn’t safe, all she dreamed of was Lila and her making her act like a puppet. She would see puppet her do all these things to Marinette and she would wake up in sweat and tears.

“Okay I’m here, I hope you two are ready to head ba-” Alya looked up to see her mom standing there staring at her and Nino, her mouth agape. “Oh Alya...Nino...How about I call the school and tell them you’re not feeling good? And I’ll call your parents Nino.”

Alya was going to respond, she really was, but when she opened her mouth nothing came out but a choked off cry and nod. Nino nodded as well as he took in a shaky breath. “Th-Thanks, Mme C.”

“Nino, you know I told you to call me Marlena. Now you two go rest in Alya’s room while I make those calls. Then maybe I can get the rest of the day off and-” 

“No manman. Things...things are already bad enough, don’t make it worse by not going back to work. I don’t...I don’t want to be the reason why you get fired.” Alya mumbled as she and Nino got up off the floor.

“Oh...Oh my little one, that won’t happen. And if it did, not because of you. Never. Don’t you think that.” Alya’s mother breathed out as she pulled her daughter into a hug before taking her daughter’s face in her hands and doing her best to wipe her tears. 

“Papa and Nora would! Nora still won’t talk to me and Papa only looks at me like he’s disappointed he ever had me!” Alya cried out before she could stop the words from coming out. Her mind completely forgot that Nino was standing right beside her until she felt him hold her hand and give it a squeeze. 

“Your Papa is just being stubborn, but you listen to me, he could never ever be disappointed in having you. You are our daughter. You made a mistake yes, but I know you know you made a mistake and that you are sorry. Your Papa will realize that. He just needs time. And Nora...she just needs time too. I just think she doesn’t know how to handle everything and that she’s mad that she couldn’t protect you sweetie. She’s always been the protective older sister, and this was something she couldn’t protect you from herself. They’ll come around. I’m sure.” 

“If you’re sure manman…”

“I am. Now you kids go relax. I’m going to take the rest of the day off and go to the store for dinner ingredients, I’ll be back soon. I know things are hard my little Melusine but they won’t always be like this.” With a kiss to her forehead and a swift hug to Nino, Alya’s mom left the two teens in the family apartment.

At first they just stood there in silence and sniffles, but Nino made the move to put their plates in the sink and rinse them out while Alya gathered their schoolwork back into their bookbags. Then they  made their way to Alya’s room and kicked off their shoes before sitting on the bed. Nino nudged Alya who looked at him in confusion until she saw him give her a crooked smile and open his arms which she fell easily into. She took off her glasses and placed them on her bedside table while she felt more than saw Nino take off his cap. For a while they just sat there in the quiet of the moment and Alya was content to do just that, to just have a moment of peace, but she slowly pushed away and reached for her remote to turn on the TV and quickly pulled up Netflix. Her mom wanted them to relax so why not fry their brains with some television. 

“Anything in particular you want to watch?” She asked as she settled back against Nino.

“As long as it has nothing to do with school or superheroes...I’m good.” Nino responded with a hollow chuckle. 

“I’m glad we don’t have to go back too…” She murmured, “Should we...tell the others?”

“Probably. But if I’m being honest I don’t really feel like talking to them and them asking how we are and if we’re okay when they know we’re not. I just. I don’t think I could handle that. Not today.” 

“I get it. Sometimes I feel like everyone else even blames me for what happened. Like... Like it was my responsibility to not fall for the lies and to warn them. Like my word would have made a difference! Mari...Marinette’s didn’t so why would mine?” Alya huffed as she scrolled through all the movie and show choices and tried her best not to cry again. 

“If they blame you then they need to blame me too and blame the people in the mirror. We all fell for the lies. Sure you’re the budding reporter, but the blame could just as easily be pushed onto Max who is so smart he created a living AI. But we have no one to be mad at but ourselves and we can only do that for so long.” Nino sighed as he held her closer and kissed her temple. Alya relished in the warmth of it all. 

“When did you get so wise?” Alya teased softly.

“When I decided to rewatch Star Wars. But no seriously. If anyone in class bothers you please tell me because we should be sticking together not at each other’s throats.” Nino stuck out one hand and Alya slid her hand into his.

“Cross my heart and hope to die. I will. And you’re right, we do need each other, especially now, especially at that school.”

“Especially at that school, yeah.” He laughed out. “We’re going to get through this. I don’t know how, but, we are and we’re going to do it together.”

Alya smiled wryly before she looked up at Nino and it slipped into a real small smile. “Together.” She agreed softly.

Last Chapter                             Next Chapter

l'école primaire - elementaryschool

manman - Haitian Creole for Mother

[ragnarlothcat]

For the WIP game, what else could it be other than "I Got It Bad" and "Out of the Bag"? Thank you in advance (all of your writing is true gems), and I hope others also send in many asks because I am curious about them all! In case someone does pick those two first, backup choices are "Plane" (which I am guessing is flight attendant AU? because that snippet you posted was *chef kiss*) and "Showgirl" (because of the sure combination of horny and hilarity)

Hello my friend (may I call you Athena?) and thank you 🥰 You're the only person to ask about my beloved noir au so I will share that here! The next chapter is pretty close to being done, but only because it was originally one long chapter that I cut in half.

(For this wip game!)

Chapter 3 (snippet)

Two days and an unconscionable number of whiskeys lead Obi-Wan to where he is now. Exhausted, harried, and spilling his guts to Dex before the streetlights have even been turned on.

“I’m in hell,” Obi-Wan bemoans, and lets his head drop to the bar top.

Dex snorts. “I know the ambiance is lacking, but that’s a little harsh.”

“You don’t understand,” Obi-Wan says, turning his head to peer up at Dex from the pitted surface. “It’s not just that he’s beautiful, which he is. Unfairly beautiful, actually, like an angel, or like a holostar, something out of a dream—”

“Maybe he is. Maybe you’re dreaming right now. Want me to pinch you?” Dex extends one of his arms in offering.

“But he’s also charming. It only comes out in flashes, but he has a sense of humor, he’s perceptive, he’s loyal—”

“More’s the pity,” Dex says ruefully. “If he was disloyal you could just scoop him up for yourself. Take him back to your apartment and stop leaking misery all over my nice clean bar.”

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow at the sticky countertop but doesn’t comment. He has other problems. “Gods, he is pretty though. How am I supposed to concentrate on my job, Dex? Knowing that he’s probably alone at home right now, his lovely curls like sunlight—”

“This is on you. You really should update your business cards. ‘Unattractive, bad-smelling clients only. If I want to fuck you you’re on your own.’”

“I don’t just want to—”

“Another?” Dex asks, wiggling a bottle pointedly.

“I shouldn’t,” Obi-Wan says into the dregs of his current glass. “I’m flying. I came straight from the archives.”

“The archives?” A new hand claps Obi-Wan on the back and he twists on his stool to meet Cody’s teasing eyes. “I thought the one upside to quitting the Jedi was you’d never have to set foot in there again.”

“There have been many upsides,” Obi-Wan protests. “I set my own hours—”

“He’s been here since three,” Dex stage-whispers to Cody.

“—I pick the cases I work, the clients I see—”

“And how’s that been working out for you?” Dex asks.

Obi-Wan needs to find a new bar, one where the bartenders are less snide and the countertops don’t stick to his shirtsleeves. He ignores Dex pointedly and swirls the last of his whiskey in his glass.

Dex smiles conspiratorially at Cody. “Drink for you? Or are you flying too?”

Cody snorts. “How would I afford a speeder? How would I afford fuel?” Dex slides a glass of whiskey down the bar and Cody accepts with a frown. “Dex, I’m not sure if I can—”

“It’s on me,” Obi-Wan cuts in, taking in Cody’s worn-out coat. “I’m working right now. You’ll get me next time.”

Cody raises an eyebrow but inclines his head graciously. “New case?”

Dex groans and raises two of his arms in surrender, the other two still polishing a glass. “Don’t get him started, I can’t bear another monologue on the subject of the most beautiful creature in the galaxy, his voice like music, his eyes like sapphires—”

“I don’t sound like that,” Obi-Wan says, his arms crossed. “And if I did, it’s your fault.”

“How is you waxing all poetical about some boy you barely know possibly—”

“For stocking that cheap Corellian stuff. You know it makes me maudlin.”

Dex claps him on the shoulder sympathetically and Obi-Wan slides an inch off his barstool. “It doesn’t make you anything, Kenobi, you come that way.”

Cody shrugs and takes a long sip. “Well, I’ve got time. All the time in the universe, truthfully.” He wrinkles his nose. “It’s brutal out there.”

“No luck with the interview then?”

Cody barks out a humorless laugh. “What interview? They took one look at me and suddenly they’d ‘found another candidate.’ Please.” Cody sighs. “If they wanted a clone, there are about a million more to choose from.”

“You were a marshal commander, that’s got to count for something.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you? And yet.” Cody polishes off the rest of his drink and rests his chin on his hand. “So. New job, huh? What does this blue-eyed pretty boy have going on that’s got you sulking at Dex’s before dinnertime?”

Obi-Wan is not sulking. “Someone’s been threatening his husband, some big-shot senator with credits to burn. You should see his house, Cody. It must be ten bedrooms and only two people live there.” Obi-Wan scoffs. “Not counting staff, I mean.”

“And I’m sure he doesn’t,” Dex adds, with a wry shake of his head.

“So what’s the problem?”

“The senator is the problem. Not only that he’s married to a man a third his age, but that he’s actively hampering my investigation. Someone wants him dead and he’s sitting around worrying about how this might hurt his re-election chances. As though that should be his biggest concern when his life is in danger, his husband is terrified—”

Dex snorts. “I don’t see why. The only reason a pretty boy like yours would ever marry a geezer like the senator is if he's gambling he'll be a widow sooner rather than later.”

“In most cases like this, yes, I would suspect the spouse. They have motive, access…” But what Dex doesn’t know is that Anakin didn’t choose to marry Palpatine. Anakin was a vulnerable boy, clinging to the first person who offered him safety. He’s not a gold-digger, even Obi-Wan can see that. “But Anakin is the one who called me. He’s the one trying to get the Jedi involved. It just doesn't fit.”

“Hmm. If not him, then who?” Cody asks.

That’s the question, isn’t it? Who might want this man dead? Besides everyone?

[shattered-da]

Well... In space with Markiplier is certainly something, I stayed up very late watching that and now here are my thoughts on what the fuck happened! All under a read more of course, so you folks that couldn't watch it don't get spoiled! The post should also be properly tagged with spoilers as well! If you don't wanna be spoiled simply scroll past the read more, cya!!

Right that's done, I'm assuming if you're reading this you are completely Willing to see spoilers, be it because you've watched it or don't care about spoilers, I would recommend watching though! It's out and free on YouTube! Anyway- to my thoughts!

Honestly, I have no idea what's happened. I am confuddled and confused about what is happening, I'm guessing our paradox here is something relating to that one ending in I believe a heist with Markiplier? One lady tries to kill us because we're causing a giant paradox I think, it's been a while since I've watched it, and some brilliant folks have pointed out that the gem in the captain's hand is pretty similar to the gem on the box in heist, if not identical! Though we should remember we don't have the full story yet, a part 2 will be coming on may 2, another countdown for us! I personally can't wait, but enough about that, now's the time for the rest of my thoughts! This will not be neatly organized or worded and I'm not sorry. One big thought I'm getting out of the way now is ms. Whitacre, I'm pretty sure she is dark, darkiplier specifically incase it wasn't clear, in the multiple "wake the crew" options you can take with mark there she says some strange things, it's mainly in the third one, where she talks about dreams, lingers uncomfortably about how the dreams are funny at first but not to be trusted, asking if the captain agrees before walking off to the door, saying more cryptic shit, it fits darks whole bill, plus in that one ending where she appears in a dark void, she's practically in darks place, saying things he would say, I've heard some people say only Wilford is in part 1 and I have to disagree, dark is here too, he's just disguised as ms. Whitacre, at least that's my interpretation! On the note of Wilford I really liked that Easter egg ending thing, where you turn back and find him and he scolds you telling the captain to get back it's not time yet, I thought that whole thing was pretty funny, helped relieve alot of the tension I had, that ending with Illinois too! That was great, how he's in space is something I wanna know, you wouldn't explore an abandoned ship thinking mummies would you? It might just be because that's his brand of adventure but still, maybe the invincible 2 crashed during those years of stasis and ended up on another planet, or earth or something like that where he ended up exploring it, or maybe he's just a great adventurer with no limits, who knows?! Oh and I loved the door part too! How whatever is on the other side tries to lure us in by not only referencing dark but Yancy too! And how the loop turned red after dying to it, with it getting more terrifying as you opened it more, the red tint, the multiple "that's not me captain! That's not me!" Throughout the choices, even the door! It was all great! I'll tell you a little secret, while we're here, for ages I thought the captain was wearing a pirate Captain outfit, I must have not been paying attention because when the captain takes off their hat in honour of mark in the first make mark do it choice I thought it was a pirates hat when upon looking back it is very much not, that imagery is very funny though! Mark tells them they're gonna be a captain and they show up dressed like a pirate. The different universes were great too! The noir verse, I laughed at how the lady was dressed like lady dimitrescu, all the internal monologues were great and even the fucking wormhole phoning you was just brilliant! The sock puppet one was great but I am very concerned as to what is in that cryopod puppet celci had, on the topic of celci I also really liked the "think of the colonists!" Choice lines, and the "this is the greatest plan!!!" References were just brilliant, I laughed when I got those, truly mark has outdone himself! This was an amazing experience and I cannot wait for may 2, when part 2 comes out and we can see the rest, count the days folks! This is gonna be one hell of a ride!

[whoslaurapalmer]

Goodness, I have.......so much fanfic hanging around on my laptop 

[verfound]

Omg, I almost don't see the folders!!

The mega mind au!!!

...ok, so for those who don't know...I'm Megamind trash. 😂 And a good while back, this crazy BS idea for a Megamind AU formed. Where Silencer was the 'supervillain' who 'killed off' Chat Blanc, was in love with hotshot reporter Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and created the new hero/villain 'Chat Noir' from Marinette's camera guy Théo. I love this AU and will finish it someday, dammit. I ain't quittin' this one.

(which is also what sparked Lani's super amazing spin on it guys go love on Lani this AU is a gem ok)

But in the actual folder, I have a few options. And since I didn't specify (oops), we're gonna make it Dealer's Choice. 😂 I have the Outline I'm working on for the entire fic (which will be the version of the movie) and three oneshots: "You're Not Felix" (which is the "Marinette finds out 'Felix' is actually Silencer scene, is lemony fresh, might end up in the actual fic, and is actually done and just needs editing...), "The Many Kidnappings of Marinette Dupain-Cheng" (which is a 5x fic set before the AU and tells how Silencer fell in love with Marinette but, as a supervillain, Fails at Flirting and just kidnaps her instead), and "We Can Be Happy, too, Can't We?" (which is post-AU and navigates dating a newly-reformed supervillain when the public still kinda hates him).

I...love all of this but here have this scene from "The Many Kidnappings of Marinette Dupain-Cheng". 😂

Aaaand maybe some sin, too...

Silencer had a problem.

Well, Sass amended with a tilt of his head, Silencer had many problems.

His current problem, however, was the squid-like voice manifestation floating above the supervillain’s work table. The supervillain himself was hunched over the table, his cheek in one hand and his other arm propped on the helmet that should be holding the stolen voice. His green eyes were...glistening? No, not glistening…sparkling. There was a definite sparkle to the super villain’s eyes – one Sass hadn’t seen in years – as he watched the voice float before him. The voice screamed Silencer’s name constantly, which his minion had to admit was…a little annoying, actually, but Silencer seemed to be enjoying it. He sighed dreamily as the voice bobbed, his lips moving wordlessly as the voice continued.

“…Marinette Dupain-Cheng…” he breathed, his eyes closing as the voice introduced itself as the Paris Bugle’s newest reporter.

Yes, Silencer had a problem, Sass was quickly realizing.

And that problem was that he was in love.

…blegh.

Ok and I couldn't choose and neither could Bloods so here have this bit from "You're Not Felix", where Marinette was just kidnapped by Chat Noir, is super frustrated, and just wants her boyfriend Felix to fuck it better...

He dropped a kiss against her hip and pulled the thong away. She tried to look annoyed, but then he was bunching her skirt around her hips and kissing lower, kissing bare skin, and her eyes closed as she took a steadying breath.

“Too slow,” she breathed.

“I’m sorry if I want to enjoy you,” he chuckled. She rolled her eyes and nudged his shoulder with her leg.

“Enjoy me later,” she pouted. “Fuck me now.”

“It is getting late,” he teased. “Dinner would be good…”

“Felix Graham de Vanily, if you don’t –” she started, and it was enough to make him lift his head from the frankly very distracting scene before him.

“Luka,” he said quickly, cutting her off. It was jarring enough to make her pause.

“W-what?” she asked, face scrunching in confusion. He lowered his head back to her, taking a steadying breath that nearly overwhelmed him when his nose filled with the scent of her. He pressed his lips against her thigh, so close to where they both wanted him, and looked back up at her through hooded eyes.

“My name,” he said. “If you’re going to scream it, I want you screaming the right one.”

“But…your name is Felix,” she said, shaking her head.

…shit.

“Middle name,” he said quickly. “It was…my first name’s Luka.”

“You’ve never said…” she said softly. His eyes closed, and he took another breath. When had her hand found his cheek?

“Things…weren’t great, for a while. Before,” he said. He nosed her core, making her hiss. “I needed a fresh start. Started going by my middle name.”

He pressed his tongue to her slit, his eyes closing in bliss at the sound she made once he’d finally touched her where she wanted. He wished he had his helmet, so he could capture that sound and replay it over and over again…

He looked back up at her. Her eyes were still on him, and he smiled before he licked her again.

“You make me want to be Luka again, Marinette,” he whispered. She pushed herself up on her elbow, reaching down to thread her fingers through his hair.

“…Luka,” she breathed, and his eyes closed in bliss as a shudder coursed through him.

She had screamed his supervillain alias plenty of times: in rage, in frustration, in annoyance, as a distraction…never in a positive way. She had certainly said Felix’s name enough times in the month they’d been dating, too. She’d shouted it as he’d grabbed her hand and led her away from the museum he’d rigged to explode. She’d gasped it as she met Felix outside Silencer’s lair, excited to bust a case wide open with him. She’d laughed it as they’d walked through the park and he’d delighted her with a particularly witty anecdote about his pet snake Sass. She’d sighed it when he’d kissed her outside her door after their third date, asking if he was sure he had to leave.

She’d never said his name before, though – his actual name, the one no one else but Sass and the ghosts of a long-dead planet knew. And while he could admit he had imagined it many times, picturing how it would sound and how he would feel, he had been completely and totally unprepared for what actually hearing her say his name would do to him. The swell of emotion it would elicit. He was barely aware of her hand fisting in his hair, guiding him back to her core – he was already heading there on his own. She gasped his name again as he began to eat her out in earnest, his hands gripping her ass and pulling her closer even as her thighs pressed against his head.

He would trade all of Paris for this moment, this woman, to hear her gasp and whimper and pant Luka, Luka, Luka for the rest of his life.

[thatasianstereotype]

Father, This Is Your Future Son-In-Law.

A short little side companion fic to my Adrien x Damian series. 

First: Fuck. I’m Gay. 

Second: Damn, You’re Looking Fine. 

Third: Shit. I Got To Deal With This Bitch (Again).

I’m still working on the fourth and final part of the series (it won’t be as long of a wait as Part 3). But I wanted to write how the Batfam reacted to their youngest suddenly getting a boyfriend while abroad. 

Creative liberties were taken. Also, this is a crack writing. 

The Demon Spawn who has gotten better at not attacking people at first sight but still just tolerates people. And his holier-than-thou attitude is still there with his love for throwing insults around like free candy. 

This is the kid that manages to snag a pure cinnamon roll sunshine as a boyfriend?

This angry grumpy child? 

Needless to say, the Batfam is in disbelief.

.

.

.

“What?” Bruce thought that the Teen Titans mission in Europe was done. “Why do you want to stay in Paris longer? Is something wrong?”

“No Father. I have simply found someone I wish to court. I will be spending time in Paris to see how best to present myself as an exceptional suitor that is all. Give my regards to Grayson that I will be missing Family Night but that I will make it up by introducing him to his future brother-in-law soon.” 

Bruce was too much in shock to answer when Damian hung up. 

“DICK!” 

“I think it’s cute that Dami is getting a boyfriend.” 

“Dick, you oblivious and naive child, you are completely missing the point.” 

Dick rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m pretty sure Damian isn’t actually going to marry someone right now.”

“He said ‘future brother-in-law’ inferring that this courtship he wants to initiate will end in a wedding.” 

“I think you are reading too much into this, B.” 

“And you are not reading enough. Have I taught you nothing at all?

“You taught me paranoia.” 

“I taught you to be prepared for every kind of situation.”

“Pretty sure the possibility of your 17-year-old son getting hitched in Paris can be ruled out.” 

“Where did I go wrong with you?” 

And Dick rolled his eyes once again at Bruce’s dramatic-ness. This. This is where Damian gets it from. 

.

Ever the peace keeper in this dysfunctional trainwreck of a family, Dick managed to stop Bruce from flying to Paris. But much to their frustrations (even Dick’s who wanted to know who captured his baby bro’s heart), Damian did not tell them the name of his potential boyfriend. 

.

All in all, Damian spent about two months and a half in Paris before coming back home to Gotham. And the Batfam could see a difference right away. 

Damian was happy. He smiled (it was a little one but it had Dick squealing in joy) more and he was more tolerate of his brothers and schoolmates. 

“We should’ve shipped him off to Paris earlier if he comes back like this.” 

Tim was still staring at Damian like he was an alien. The demon spawn still insulted him every other day but hasn’t threatened to kill him at all since he came back. No ripping out his intestines to feed to the vultures or throwing him off a building for the rats to feast on. It was nice. Although a little part of him felt slightly unnerving. He doesn’t have any contingency plans involving a Nice!Damian. 

Dick shook his head fondly at his little brother, taking away his coffee full of too much caffeine and replacing it with decaf. He has truly ascended to motherhood. “Well, I think it’s nice that Little D found love.”

“In the city of love. Is no one paying attention to that part?” Jason munched on one of Alfred’s cookies. “Cause I think that’s hilarious. I thought Baby Bat would’ve choked on all the happiness and bright clean air there.”

Dick whacked his arm. “Stop being mean to Dami.”

“But Dickie. It’s how I show affection.” 

.

Adrien Agreste was the son of the supervillain Hawk Moth that have terrorizing Paris for the last 3 years. Batman was not at all pleased to hear that the Parisian heroes called for help and the Justice League turned them away. People have paid for that. Dearly. 

“So his mom’s dead and his dad’s a criminal?” Jason looked over Bruce’s shoulder at the BatComputer. “Kid’ll fit right in with our family. Demon sure knows how to pick them.”

“Hnn.” Bruce grunted. 

“I mean with you dating Selina, a notorious thief and doing the thing with Talia, a very dangerously lethal assassin, it’s no wonder where your son got his taste from.” 

“Jason.” Bruce grunted in a warning tone. 

“I mean when I’m right, I’m right.”

.

“Ok.” Tim started off tonight’s Family Meeting (excluding Damian), the topic being one certain ex-assassin’s love interest. “Looking further into the Agreste kid shows he clearly did not take after his villainous dad. He is one of Paris’ teenage models and have a huge fanbase dedicated to how pure and sweet he is. He is a literal walking ray of sunshine.” 

“How the fuck did that sunshine child tame our literal feral demon brother?” Jason said. Always the VIP asking the important questions here.

Tim actually had an answer for that. He pulled out several charts and data on his laptop and showed it to the others. “Looking further into Adrien, I have found evidence that he is the cat-themed superhero Chat Noir. Being a loveable and touch-starved kitten appealed to the demon brat’s almost non-existent affections.” 

“Timmy, Dami is capable of love.” Dick said in a disappointed voice. 

“I said almost non-existent, didn’t I?” Tim waved the Mom’s disappointment away. “But you guys have got to see this.” 

He pulled up a video of Chat Noir and Ladybug on the big screen. They watched him using his signature move: cataclysm. No one spoke for a few minutes as they processed the sheer destructive powers of the hero.

“You know what.” Jason broke the silence. “I have no more questions. I can kind of see how Agreste is the demon’s type.” 

What baby assassin wouldn’t be turned on by the literal godly destructive powers the baby kitten held in his hands? 

Dick, the only one wanting to keep things semi-PG here, smacked the back of his head. 

.

“Baby brother.” Cass greeted. She is back home from her Hong Kong trip and heard all about the famous Adrien Agreste. She thought it was adorable and that Adrien and Damian made a cute couple. 

“Hello, Cassandra.” 

She peered down at the list he was currently making. She gestured towards it with a confused look. 

“I am compiling a list of tasks that needs to be done before my Chaton and new sister-in-law come to Gotham. Only the best for them after all. 

Her eyes lit up. “New sister?”

“Yes. My mon amour’s sister will be our new one.” He pulled out a picture of her on his phone for Cass to see. “Her name is Marinette and she will be a fine addition to the family.” 

“Baby sister.” Cass said happily. She was always up for new family members. 

“Yes. I imagine you two will get along the best.” 

But she couldn’t help but notice that with all the preparations he is making, even if it is for his boyfriend and new sister, is a bit —how would Steph say it?— overkill. 

Her coal black eyes were sharp as she observed his body language. “You very serious on this. Why?” 

He can never hide anything from his sister. “I wish for them to have a good impression of our family so that their family will not be disincline to reject my proposal for marriage.”

“Marriage?” She was still quite unfamiliar with some words in English. 

“It means that you will be getting another brother too.” 

.

“We will wed.” 

Dick hasn’t even finished his cereal yet. He looked over at Damian’s serious expression. “Did you even ask him yet?” 

“I will present myself as an extraordinary suitor that he will be more inclined to say yes when I ask.” 

“At least you’re treating your man right.”

Damian took offense. “Why wouldn’t I treat my mon amour with anything but the upmost respect and love?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Little D. I’m just glad you’re in a good relationship and from what I can see, Adrien adores you very much.”

Damian smiled. “I adore my Chaton a great deal as well. Would you like to come with me to pick out a ring?

Dick could just hear Bruce’s voice in his head saying he shouldn’t be encouraging this. But come on, this was his baby brother who grew up learning how to hurt people finding a precious loving relationship for himself and he will be damned if he doesn’t support this. 

“Of course. I’ll be honored to help.”

His baby brother brightened before he launched into a rant. 

“I’m having trouble finding the perfect gem to complement his eyes. They are a certain shade of forest green you see. And many jewelry stores do me a great disservice by not having that certain shade or having utterly appalling quality for what my Chaton deserves.” 

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Taglist: 

@iglowinggemma28 @iz-bell-saiah @nach0ava @roselynfey @mochinek0 @wannajointhecrabcult

[thisblogisalsoboundforglory]

WHAT I HAVE BEEN READING LATELY

Kage Baker’s Company Series

In the Garden of Iden

Sky Coyote

Mendoza in Hollywood

The Graveyard Game

The Life of the World to Come

The Children of the Company

The Machine's Child

The Sons of Heaven

The Empress of Mars

Not Less than Gods

Nell Gwynne's On Land and At Sea

Black Projects, White Knights: The Company Dossiers

Gods and Pawns

In the Company of Thieves

Ø  Science Fiction written by a woman with Asperger’s. Wildly uneven. Main protagonist is female, but there are lots of POV characters, male and female.

Ø  Big ideas.

Ø  Lots of adventure, some action.

Ø   Small doses of humor.

 Neil Gaiman

Good Omens (with Sir Terry Pratchett)

Neverwhere

Stardust

American Gods

Anansi Boys

The Graveyard Book

The Ocean at the End of the Lane

Ø  Neil’s books are a road trip with Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell and a baggie full of sativa.

Ø  Ideas are incidental. The Milieu’s in charge.

Ø  Adventure happens whether you like it or not.

Ø   Cosmic humor. The joke’s on us.

 Connie Willis’s Oxford Time Travel Series

Firewatch

Doomsday Book

To Say Nothing of the Dog (and the novel that inspired it – Jerome K. Jerome’s Three Men in a Boat)

Blackout/All Clear

Assorted:

The Last of the Winnebagos

Ø  Connie loves her historical research. Blackout/All Clear actually lasts as long as the Blitz, but anything in the Oxford Time Travel series is worth reading. Doomsday Book reads like prophecy in retrospect.

Ø  One idea: Hi! This is the human condition! How fucking amazing is that?!?

Ø  Gut-punch adventure with extra consequences. Background action.

Ø   I’d have to say that Doomsday Book is the funniest book about the black death I’ve ever read, which isn’t saying much. To Say Nothing of the Dog is classic farce, though. Girl’s got range.

Neal Stephenson

Snow Crash (After the apocalypse, the world will be ruled by Home-Owners Associations. Be afraid.)

Cryptonomicon

Anathem

Seveneves

Ø  Neal writes big, undisciplined, unfocused books that keep unfolding in your mind for months after you’ve read them. He’s a very guy-type writer, in spite of a female protagonist or two. Seveneves, be warned, starts out brilliant and devolves into extreme meh.

Ø  Big. Fucking. Ideas.

Ø  Battles, crashes, fistfights, parachute jumps, nuclear powered motorcycles and extreme gardening action. Is there an MPAA acronym for that?

Ø   Humor dry enough to be garnished with two green olives on a stick.

  Christopher Moore

Pine Cove Series:

Practical Demonkeeping

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror (Okay, yeah, Christmas. But Christmas with zombies, so that’s all right.)

Fluke (Not strictly Pine Cove, but in the same universe. Ever wonder why whales sing? They’re ordering Pastrami sandwiches. I’m not kidding.)

Death Merchant Chronicles:

A Dirty Job

Secondhand Souls (Best literary dogs this side of Jack London)

Coyote Blue (Kind of an outlier. Overlapping characters)

Shakespeare Series:

Fool

The Serpent of Venice

Shakespeare for Squirrels

Assorted:

Island of the Sequined Love Nun (Cargo cults with Pine Cove crossovers. I have a theory that the characters in this book are direct descendants of certain characters in Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon.)

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal (So I have a favorite first-century wonder rabbi. Who doesn’t?)

Sacre Bleu

Noir

Ø  Not for the squeamish, the easily offended, or those who can’t lovingly embrace the fact that the human species is pretty much a bunch of idiots snatching at moments of grace.

Ø  No big ideas whatever. Barely any half-baked notions.

Ø  Enthusiastic geek adventure. Action as a last resort.

Ø   Nonstop funny from beginning to end.

 Ben Aaronovitch’s Rivers of London Series

Rivers of London

Moon Over Soho

Whispers Under Ground

Broken Homes

Foxglove Summer

The Hanging Tree

The Furthest Station

Lies Sleeping

The October Man

False Value

Tales From the Folly

Ø  Lean, self-deprecating police procedurals disguised as fantasy novels. Excellent writing.

Ø  These will not expand your mind. They might expand your Latin vocabulary.

Ø  Crisply described action, judiciously used. Whodunnit adventure. It’s all about good storytelling.

Ø  Generous servings of sly humor. Aaronovitch is a geek culture blueblood who drops so many inside jokes, there are websites devoted to indexing them.

  John Scalzi

Old Man’s War Series:

Old Man’s War

Questions for a Soldier

The Ghost Brigades

The Sagan Diary

The Last Colony

Zoe’s Tale

After the Coup

The Human Division

The End of All Things

Ø  Star Trek with realpolitik instead of optimism.

Ø  The Big Idea is that there’s nothing new under the sun. Nor over it.

Ø  Action-adventure final frontier saga with high stakes.

Ø  It’s funny when the characters are being funny, and precisely to the same degree that the character is funny.

Assorted:

The Dispatcher

Murder by Other Means

Redshirts (Star Trek, sideways, with occasional optimism)

Ø  Scalzi abandons (or skewers) his space-opera tendencies with these three little gems of speculative fiction. Scalzi’s gift is patience. He lets the scenario unfold like a striptease.

Ø  What-if thought experiments that jolt the brain like espresso shots.

Ø  Action/misadventure as necessary to accomplish the psychological special effects.

Ø  Redshirts is satire, so the humor is built-in, but it’s buried in the mix.

  David Wong/Jason Pargin

John Dies at the End

This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don’t Touch It

What the Hell Did I Just Read?

Ø  Pargin clearly starts his novels with a handful of arresting scenes and images, then looses the characters on an unsuspecting world to wander wither they will.

Ø  Ideas aren’t as big or obvious as Heinlein, but they are there to challenge all your assumptions in the same way that Heinlein’s were.

Ø  Classic action/adventure for anyone raised on Scooby-Doo.

Ø  Occasional gusts of humor in a climate that’s predominantly tongue-in-cheek.

 Jodi Taylor’s Chronicles of St. Mary’s Series

Just One Damned Thing After Another

The Very First Damned Thing

A Symphony of Echoes

When a Child is Born*

A Second Chance

Roman Holiday*

A Trail Through Time

Christmas Present*

No Time Like the Past

What Could Possible Go Wrong?

Ships and Stings and Wedding Rings*

Lies, Damned Lies and History

The Great St Mary’s Day Out*

My Name is Markham*

And the Rest is History

A Perfect Storm*

Christmas Past*

An Argumentation of Historians

The Battersea Barricades*

The Steam Pump Jump*

And Now for Something Completely Different*

Hope for the Best

When Did You Last See Your Father?*

Why Is Nothing Ever Simple*

Plan For The Worst

The Ordeal of the Haunted Room

Ø  The * denotes a short story or novella. Okay, try to imagine Indiana Jones as a smartassed redheaded woman with a time machine and a merry band of full contact historians. I love history, and I especially love history narrated by a woman who can kick T. Rex ass.

Ø  The ideas are toys, not themes. Soapy in spots.

Ø  Action! Adventure! More action! More adventure! Tea break. Action again!

Ø  Big, squishy dollops of snort-worthy stuff.

 Laurie R. King’s Mary Russell Series

The Beekeeper's Apprentice

A Monstrous Regiment of Women

A Letter of Mary

The Moor

Jerusalem

Justice Hall

The Game

Locked Rooms

The Language of Bees

The God of the Hive

Beekeeping for Beginners

Pirate King

Garment of Shadows

Dreaming Spies

The Marriage of Mary Russell

The Murder of Mary Russell

Mary Russell's War And Other Stories of Suspense

Island of the Mad

Riviera Gold

The Art of Detection (Strictly speaking, this is in the action!lesbian Detective Kate Martinelli series, but it crosses over to the Sherlock Holmes genre. If you’ve ever wondered how Holmes would deal with the transgendered, this is the book.)

Ø  Sherlock Holmes retires to Sussex, keeps bees, marries a nice Jewish girl who is smarter than he is and less than half his age and he’s mentored since she was fifteen in an extremely problematic power dynamic relationship that should repulse me but doesn’t, somehow, because this is the best Sherlock Holmes pastiche out there. Mary should have been a rabbi, but it is 1920, so she learns martial arts and becomes an international detective instead. Guest appearances by Conan Doyle, Kimball O’Hara, T.E. Lawrence, Cole Porter, and the Oxford Comma.

Ø  Nothing mind-expanding here, unless the levels of meta present in a fictional world that is about how the fictional world might not be as fictional as you thought come as a surprise to anyone in the era of tie-in books, films, tv, interactive social media and RPGs.

Ø  If these two geniuses can’t catch the bad guys with their dazzling brilliance, they will happily kick some ass. Adventure takes center stage and the action sequences are especially creative.

Ø  Amusement is afoot.

 Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next Series

The Eyre Affair

Lost in a Good Book

The Well of Lost Plots

Something Rotten

First Among Sequels

One of Our Thursdays is Missing

The Woman Who Died a Lot

Ø  In a world where Librarians are revered and Shakespeare is more popular than the Beatles, someone has to facilitate the weekly anger-management sessions for the characters of Wuthering Heights, if only to keep them from killing each other before the novel actually ends. That someone is Thursday Next – Literature Cop.

Ø  Mind-bending enough to give Noam Chomsky material for another hundred years.

Ø  Adventure aplenty. Action? Even the punctuation will try to kill you.

Ø  This is a frolicsome look at humorous situations filled with funny people. Pretty much a full house in the laugh department.

 Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Series/City Watch Arc

Guards! Guards!

Men at Arms

Feet of Clay

Jingo

The Fifth Elephant

Night Watch

Thud!

Snuff

Raising Steam

Ø  If this were a game of CLUE, the answer would be Niccolo Machiavelli in Narnia with a Monty Python. Everything you think you know about books with dragons and trolls and dwarves and wizards is expertly ripped to shreds and reassembled as social satire that can save your soul, even if it turns out you don’t really have one. Do not be fooled by the Tolkien chassis – there’s a Vonnegut-class engine at work.

Ø  Caution: Ideas in the Mirror Universe May be Larger Than They Appear

Ø  The City Watch arc has plenty of thrilling action sequences. Some other of the fifty-million Discworld novels have less. Every one of them is nonstop adventure. Most of the adventure, however, takes the form of characters desperately trying to avoid thrilling action sequences.

Ø  Funny? Even though I’ve read every book in the series at least ten times, I still have to make sure I have cold packs on hand in case I laugh so hard I rupture something.