#but this looks very much like a psychic connection situation

[brionysea]

quick! how many hints can we drop that mike's being targeted by vecna before they catch on?

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

The 12th Houses - The Divine Naturalist.

Knowledge is power, and what most 12th housers understand is that power is infinite, and the knowledge that we seek comes from within. The 12th house is filled with divine experiences, making the person with this placement see things from a higher perspective. Something that most can never find for themselves, its truly a mystery here.

Sun in the 12th house : Impractical knowledge, things that don't make sense on a psychical matter making sense more in the imagination. Artistic souls who's only purpose is to share what the divine has given them since birth. Angels of light who go into the darkness for some time to receive an answer. Could have issues with family and friends because they can be too floaty for them sometimes. Always floating with the wind, always going nowhere but somewhere. They may not know everything, but they know the importance of being in the moment.

Moon in the 12th house: Connecting to a higher purpose, these people could be the seers of our generation. Having mercy for every little thing, every person, every plant, animal... etc. They have the compassionate nature of a deity. Some may even believe they are quite delusional with the way that they put their all into others, even excusing the behavior of some becomes we all have been there. All in all, they have an expression to them that attracts any and anybody to them, their love is unmatched.

Mercury in the 12th house: Intricate minds, very solitary individuals. Like to live alone and be isolated at times. You may not understand them from time to time, but it does not matter to them. Their mind has more than a million channels, and they operate into all of them. I feel as though these placements need time alone due to their mind always being on constant overdrive. I guess it's safe to say they could be their own book that is more than 300 pages. They have the tendency to know more than what they let on, due to the source within them giving them an explicit amount of knowledge all of the time.

Venus in the 12th house : Beautiful souls with a tendency to love deeper than what most can define. No one can truly match the depths of these beautiful minds, who's love wishes to touch the stars to be closer to the divine. Their love life can be tempting with allure, but their bodies can feel the uproar of something being close to home. Their not for everyone, and the way their love life is set up.. it can have them questioning why the Universe put them in certain situations. Could it be that they must go against the grain? Love will make you do crazy things, and they learn a lot about this everyday

Mars in the 12th house : Their psychic senses are always tingling. The power they are looking for is deep into the subconscious. I feel as if they are always fighting for themselves to pick up their weight while society pushes them to the side often.. They know exactly what they want, and as it is capable they have to sure work for it. Because even if its not in the present, it is somewhere in the future. Because if you can see it in your mind, you can bring it into fruition. Mars in the 12th house makes a difference because as they transform the mind, they transform themselves. It's like seeing a totally new person, because they looked into the heart to find what they need to change to be the person they have always wanted to become. They always knew they could do it if they were to try.

Jupiter in the 12th house - They have a powerful connection to the ancestors, their spirit guides and the universe overall. They see things in a much more profound way than people let on. You might think their crazy, but baby let me tell you they are in 2050 while everyone is stuck in 2024! They have the tendency to know things by either looking it up or solving the clue on their own. Potentially they can lose their own minds because the world is farther behind, not being able to grasp the knowledge of everyday life even when its being practically handed to us. At some point, they tend to hide what they know and shares it with a familiar group, ones that knows the type of people they are and want to learn more of the fruits of nature that the Gods have given us. Ask your jupiter 12th house frined what is something out of this world that they know and watch your entire idea of life change in one sitting.

Saturn in the 12th house - Spiritual connections come in very interesting ways for this group. They naturally run with authority, they just don't see it yet. They have an understanding that things take time. And although they may not get it now, when they are much older they will see that everything was planned the way it was supose to be, and not the way they wanted it to be. They have the gift of seers from many moons ago, and they have the direction and path lined up for them by their ancestors and spirit team. They just need to know which lane to pick. Let go of control if you have this placement, you have no idea where things could lead.

Pluto in the 12th house - In a deep dark pool of webs, you will find the most intriguing persons here. They know so much about the darkness, it may shock you. Since they were a child, they have had a lot of psychic experiences. And as they grew, this could have surprised so many others to the point that the 12th houser has rejected their role in being all knowing. With this placement, they have to go against the grain. Looking within the psyche to accomplish what most never see coming, and it's to have full control cover their consciousness. They have integrity enough to keep going, even when things are bouncing out the wall. But they never give up on themselves, there is always room for self-transformation.

Neptune in the 12th house - Creators, Muses, Great thinkers. Very in control of their inner world, its just that others may give them a hard time. They are always on cloud nine. Very patient with themselves because the world tells them to speed up. Can be super creative when you lock them in a room by themselves. They will take you into a museum that connects to their soul, you'd want to know more about them the longer you stay with them. To have this placement is to know that there is something much bigger than ourselves out there. They live a life full of inspiration.

Uranus in the 12th house - Unique individuals who take the time to create inventions far past their peers level of thinking, and I mean that gracefully. They have the capacity to see beyond what the world sees at such a young age. The universe connects them to the akashic records of information so that they can be ahead of time. Can fulfill a leadership role if they find themselves in a predicament where others won't take the lead, they'll have you thinking about things in a totally different way. Can be seen as the crazy-heads of the world but they aren't so crazy once you get to know them. Have mercy on them, they have so many ideas, philosophies and knowledge tied into their tiny brains it will almost make anyone seem insane. Just enjoy the rollercoaster that their brains make us feel, its a ride of your life.

I hope you all enjoy !

[loveemagicpeace]

Astrological Life Events🌠

Fire venus -feel fun, drive at the beginning, but if they don't feel the same energy over time and if you don't stimulate them, then they usually lose interest. They need constant passion and playfulness. Especially from the beginning (because they want the person to show interest in them). They like more dramatic love and a relationship that is more spontaneous and interesting. They will never think you are too much for them because they like the energy when someone is more direct with actions and shows emotions.

Earth venus- they are initially cooler and observe the situation and think. And later they become more fixated on the person and then they become really devoted to that person. They don't like to rush into something because they are afraid that they will be hurt again later. So they do things more slowly and carefully. But when they really care about someone, they will really invest a lot in that relationship.

Leo rising people choose a spouse who usually does not suit them as much as they thought at the beginning. They can go into something very quickly and then regret it later. They can go very recklessly into something.

Capricorn rising will always test you before going into a relationship with you. They actually spend a very long time thinking about whether the person is right for them. They are very deliberate and make very deliberate moves. You think you know them, but you really don't. They observe your movements in silence all the time (similar to scorpio rising). They will always be one step ahead of you.

One of the reasons why fire moons are not compatible. The moon represents emotions, home, comfort, safety, care, etc. Fire signs don't feel so comfortable in water energy by themselves. Fire Moons often grow up independently and feel more distant from their family even in childhood. They can do many things on their own and the mother can be quite alienated. Especially with (aries moon and sagittarius moon). Therefore, these people are looking for someone who understands them emotionally, accepts their feelings and will be able to open up emotionally and be able to rely on someone and feel that the person will really be there for them. And when two fire moons are together, this creates emotional distance in the long run and not dependence (reactions are often similar) and emotionally the two people may not be able to complement each other because they both want a safe space for their emotions. Therefore, fire moons would be more compatible with water moons, because these give them the feeling that they can open up emotionally and make them feel that they can be vulnerable.

A balance between starchy and acidic foods is important for people born under the sign of Libra. They need lots of fresh air and moderate exercise. They should be careful about what liquids they consume.

The places ruled by the scorpio are: slow and muddy streams, calm ponds, swamps, vineyards. They also rule slaughterhouses, operating rooms, garbage disposals. As for food, people born under the sign of Scorpio should be careful to eat a lot of cooling food and fruit. Spicy and meaty food can bring them negative qualities.

Sagittarius is an optimistic sign and their health often depends on the mental attitude they have towards themselves. Sagittarius is connected by open places for exercise such as tehnis, horse riding. Therefore, people who have Mars in Sagittarius need to relax with a way to have fun: for example, jumping on a trampoline, rollerblading.

Capricorn is a dark sign in itself and rules places such as: tombs, cemeteries, morgues, dungeons. It also rules cellars, dark holes, abysses, frozen places, monasteries. They are supposed to rule even old churches, dark forests. Capricorn rules the skin and skin diseases, such as eczema, rashes.

From a medical perspective, Pisces rules the feet, the psychic mechanism of the mind. The bones they rule are: knuckles, ankles. The sign of fish also rules the veins of the feet. Problems such as colds, excessive sweating, dropsy, infectious diseases are also the result of the negative influence of fish on the soul. Most people with this sign are hypersensitive to medications and should avoid them. Pisces can be very sensitive to things and their environment affects them a lot. Whereas virgins are just the opposite. Virgos are actually very resistant to certain things and can heal quickly if they so desire. But they can be obsessed with overdoses of medication and can overdo it.

The ascendant shows your personality, how you behave, how you express yourself, how people see and perceive each other. The sun shows who you are and what your mission and inspiration is. The moon shows how you express your emotions, where you find comfort, your home. Mercury shows how you express yourself, communication, mentality, thinking, intelligence, your first impressions of childhood and environment. Venus shows your experience of love, how you look at love, how you behave in a relationship and what kind of partner you are. Mars shows your anger, energy, competitiveness, possessiveness, sexuality, and since Mars rules the first house, it also shows part of your personality.

Aspects in Astrology:

✨A conjunction is when there is no distance between the two planets, but the planets are equal to each other. It has the characteristics of the sun, for it represents strength and dynamism.

🍓The sextile is an opportunity complex and we associate it with Venus. It symbolizes harmony, harmony, love and lightness.

🚀The square is a destructive complex that the individual causes himself, either consciously or subconsciously. He has the characteristics of Mars, so he is more energetic, intense and determined. But it can also cause conflicts.

🎯The trine is a luck complex and is always auspicious and also has an auspicious nature. It has the energy of Jupiter, which means that it acts as an aspect that offers opportunities and lucky coincidences. In the synastry chart, it can show a chance / fateful meeting with a person.

🪼Inconjunction is a stress complex, it is considered an uneasy aspect. But it has the energy of Saturn, which means physical or mental illness or a strong sense of guilt.

🌙The opposition is a disturbing complex. It symbolizes duality. It has the energy of the moon (although many people think it has the energy of saturn). It is an aspect that causes a dual emotional energy that oscillates between one energy and another.

Mercury in Scorpio - they have a need for analysis, secret communication. They are bright, cunning, sarcastic. They are secretive and good at keeping secrets. They are susceptible to the weaknesses of other people, they are critical, doubtful and suspicious. They make quick ends of things. They don't forgive, they don't forget and they don't trust. As a child, you were privy to a lot of other people's secrets and you weren't allowed to tell them.

Mercury in Sagittarius - they need open, free communication. They are generous, know how to help, honest, independent and do not care about other people's opinions. They have an expressive way of expressing themselves, they like sports, they like authority. They are interested in philosophy, religion and law. Quickly earns the trust of others.

Mercury in Virgo - they have a need for stable and realistic communication. They often criticize others and notice small things. They have a good sense of detail and judgment.

Mercury in Cancer - the need for careful, personal communication. They are tactful, discreet, flexible, pleasure-loving, friendly. They are emotional and like their comfort. They are interested in home, family, security and sometimes they can depend on the opinion of the family.

Mercury in Leo - the need for creative, fun and joyful communication. They tend to be self-centered and domineering. They are sociable and popular and sometimes consider the opinions of society. They are fiery, quick to anger, stubborn, persistent, compassionate.

Mercury in Pisces - the need for idealistic, inspiring communication. They are often artistic, spiritual, and have rich intuition. They are imaginative, prone to absorbing other people's emotions. They like music, poetry, water. They are strongly influenced by the environment because they are hypersensitive. They are easily hurt and resentful. They tend to abuse alcohol and drugs. They are often more concerned about others than themselves.

Mars in Taurus -these people are jealous, possessive, combative and persistent. Sexuality is important to them. At first, they don't show much energy outwardly, but the energy shows later. They know how to appropriate people and secretly want them to be theirs. Maybe they don't feel that way at first, but they don't like to share someone with another person. This is often the case with earth signs, that the energy is not noticed immediately but later.

The Sun in the first house indicates a person who is more egotistical, has a strong personality and is confident. The individual is generous, talkative, independent. The Sun in this house brings problems due to haste, quarrelsomeness or recklessness.

The Sun in the 5th house brings small families. It can sometimes mean that there are no children (the individual does not want them), there can be problems with conceiving. The individual tends to dominate. This position often brings spiritual inclinations, artistic and creative talents.

Sun in the 6th house - makes a personality that feels good when serving others. They are interested in health, both personally and publicly. The individual is usually careful, orderly. Since this is a descending house, the individual may miss many opportunities that arise in the early years of his life.

Sun in 8th house- The individual is quietly ambitious to achieve a powerful position in life. He is usually fearless. Problems can arise due to lending money. The financial situation can improve after marriage because this is where an individual can gain the most from marriage. This position also indicates long life. People with this position can be careful of straining their bodies, especially the heart.

Sun in the 9th house - makes a personality that is noble, idealistic, enthusiastic. However, a person can be capricious or changeable and show a dual nature. It makes a personality that tries to maintain its position in life. Relationships are often very important. Success is usually far from the place of birth. It also indicates living abroad. The person loves art, music and literature.

People who has neptune, jupiter & uranus 1st house makes them very special and different from the rest. Because all planets stand out in their own way. Neptune gives a person a magical and special appearance. The person looks like they are not real. Emphasize their eyes, which look hypnotic and dreamy. Jupiter gives the person visibility and luck in appearance. Many people notice them quickly, they also look spiritual and fiery. Uranus makes a person different from others, their beauty is more outstanding and special. They can wear something that will look good only on them. They know how to wear things in their own way and thus stand out.

-Rebekah🍓🧚🏼‍♀️✨

[writeroutoftime]

precious secrets (part 2)

part one

pairing: eris vanserra x reader

summary: months later you still find yourself in the night court while your mate is stuck in autumn. but one day, feyre comes by with interesting news.

warnings: none, I promise it's fluff!

words: 1k

a/n: loved writing this so much, and thank you so much for all the support on the first part! also, if you want to request any other scenarios, please send them in!! enjoy!

oOoOo

The cool, night air washed over you as you stood out on the balcony, looking down below at Velaris. Even you had to admit the city was more beautiful in the evening with the stars shining down on its citizens. It had been weeks since your first introduction to the secret city of the Night Court, and, in turn, weeks since you had last seen your mate.

The time away from Eris was torture, made worse by the fact the two of you were only able to keep up minimal communication. Short letters slipped between members of the Night Court when they were able to visit. Feelings of love and support down the bond, but it was never enough. It didn't erase the uneasiness you felt at the thought of Eris alone in his father's grasp.

You heard the laughter and cheer of the Inner Circle inside and clutched your glass of fae wine tighter. While they had all been incredibly welcoming of Eris' secret mate, watching so many pairs of mates love each other happily and openly made you long for your own. Very quickly, you became jealous of Feyre and Rhysand, suddenly wishing you possessed their daemati powers.

'I think of you every day and every night, my love. I know we will be together again soon. Please, stay safe."

With thoughts of Eris' letters in your mind, you sighed and turned from the view and pushed off the balcony. You offered a tight smile to the Inner Circle. "Goodnight."

"Wait, y/n, are you sure you don't want to stay?" Feyre asked, reaching out to gently grab your hand.

"I'll see you in the morning." you reiterated, slipping away from the looks of pity you know that followed you.

As you got yourself ready for bed in your temporary room, your mind raced to Eris. Looking out the window, you wondered if Eris was thinking of you at the same moment. A warm, loving feeling blossomed in your chest, and your hand brushed over your heart.

"Stay safe, love." you whispered before slipping under the covers.

oOoOo

The couch in the library had become a favored spot of yours as you worked your way through the Night Court's collection. You currently were reading one of Nesta's recommendations. She had only smirked when she handed you the copy, and it didn't long to figure out why. Just before you could get to the good part, there was a soft, yet urgent tap against your mind.

Allowing your shields to fall just a hint, you heard Feyre's warm voice fill your mind. "Beron is dead. We just received official word from the Autumn Court not even an hour ago."

Your heart froze in your chest. Beron was dead. Well and truly dead after centuries of keeping his people underneath his tight reign. For the first time in what felt like forever, a weight fell from your shoulders. You could breathe again.

Once your mind was able to process the reality of your situation, you thought of your mate and the possibility of seeing him again. As if you were psychic, you felt a tug at the bonder sharper than it had been in weeks. The book slipped to the floor with a harsh thud without a second thought.

In an instant, you ran down the hallways of River House and found yourself outside the living room. The doors were closed, but for the first time in months, the bond that connected you to Eris sung a beautiful melody. You knew, without a doubt, that your mate stood on the other side of the door.

There was a moment of hesitation as you reached for the handle. It had been months since you and Eris had truly seen each other. How had he changed? How had you changed? But you quickly decided that none of those things mattered. With passion, you pushed open the door and felt yourself freeze.

In the middle of the room stood Eris. His auburn hair was disheveled and the bags under his eyes were as prominent of ever, but underneath it all, you could only see was the male you loved. Hesitantly, you took a step forward, arm outstretched, hovering just inches away from your mate.

"Eris?" you breathed out, afraid it was an illusion which would shatter at any moment. "Are you really here?"

Your mate offered a warm smile and closed the gap between you. "It's me, my love. I promise you this is real." he said, wrapping his arms around you and pulled you flush against his chest.

The scent of cinnamon and fresh autumn air engulfed your senses, providing you with a sense of relief you hadn't felt in ages. Burying your face against his chest, you let your hands roam the expanse of Eris' back holding onto any piece of him possible.

Eventually, you pulled back and glanced up into your mate's amber eyes. "Is it true? He-he's gone?

"He's gone." Eris confirmed, moving to cup your face with his hand, delicately swiping his thumb along your cheekbone. He leaned down to brush his lips against yours after years of yearning for this moment. Your first kiss free from the fear of constantly looking over your shoulders and waiting for the shoe to drop.

Eris broke the kiss and let his forehead rest against yours. "He can no longer control us or our lives, my High Lady."

Your eyes grew wide with shock. "A-are you sure, Eris?"

"There is no one I would rather have my side. I have dreamed of this moment for years, and now, all of Prythian can come to know my smart, strong, beautiful mate that I love with all my heart." Eris stared at you adoringly, bringing your hand up to brush a kiss against your knuckles. "Let's go home, High Lady."

"I thought you'd never say those words, High Lord."

oOoOo

tagging (based on comments from the first part): @fxckmiup, @tele86, @m00n5t0n3, @mybestfriendmademe, @glitterypirateduck

[etherealhoneybee777]

The Tragedy of Teru: An Unnecessarily Long Thesis

I’ve seen some people ask: why the sudden change in Teru? Why did he suddenly go from a total menace who was okay with choking Mob to unconsciousness to a good guy/best friend type whose moral axis now completely revolves around Mob? I’ve seen some people claim that Teru’s redemption was so sudden that it’s unconvincing.

I don’t think the redemption was a sudden shift in Teru’s character. Actually, it’s the most natural progression for him. Consider Teru’s life circumstances. His parents completely abandoned him with no remorse. It wasn’t even because of Claw, they were just “busy” and moved overseas. He has no one to look after him at home. His relationships at school are largely superficial. He probably has severe attachment issues because of childhood neglect. He has no connections, no one truly rooting for him.

It’s an extremely shitty situation—but Teru convinces himself that he’s okay. In fact, he’s better than okay. He’s doing great. He’s doing the best because he’s better than everyone else—he has psychic powers, he’s popular, he’s talented in pretty much everything. Why would he need people to love and care for him when he has everything else “average” people dream of?

And so Teru’s entire emotional state revolves around a shaky thesis: that he’s better than everyone else. The main character. Main characters don’t need families. They don’t need love and support. Teru’s too superior for those things. And he HAS to be superior, because if he’s not, if he’s like everyone else, then he has to acknowledge the facts: that his parents left him, that there’s no clear cut purpose for his life, he’s completely alone, and there’s nothing he can do about it.  

If Teru’s the main character, then trauma and abandonment are just part of a tragic backstory---necessary hardships that will pave the way for all the great and superior things that Teru is destined to do. Whereas “average” people don’t have tragic backstories. When “average” people are abused and abandoned, it’s not part of some epic tale. It’s just sad. If Teru’s average, then the trauma is meaningless. Purposeless. 

And the weight of that is just too much for him to bear.

And so he dates girls he doesn’t like, and he cheats on tests, and he wins at sports, and he runs a gang. And he copes. For a while, it works.

And then it doesn’t.

Enter Shigeo Kageyama.

Mob’s existence rocks Teru’s world. The idea that there’s another natural child esper as powerful as him shatters his core belief that psychic powers made him the main character. Not only that, but Mob withstands all of Teru’s attacks, and refuses to fight back--a move that Teru finds insulting.

When Mob insists that psychic powers are average, and that Teru’s average, Teru is enraged. (“You’re the only one who can make that point. And that’s why your very existence pisses me off!”)

Finally Mob puts the nail in the coffin: “You and I are the same. We both have no self-confidence.” Up until this point, I believe that NO ONE has genuinely seen through Teru like Mob does, or, at least, they didn’t point it out. Mob sees Teru for who he is: a sad and insecure kid with no real connections. And THAT’S what makes Teru put him in a chokehold.

In a move of infinite kindness, Mob refuses to use his powers against Teru. Only when Mob is knocked unconscious are his true powers revealed. Teru then sees how outmatched he was from the very beginning, and how intentional Mob’s pacifism was towards him.

Teru did nothing but try to hurt Mob, but Mob refused to hurt him back. This is probably the most intentional love and care Teru’s received in a long time.

It’s a turning point. Because here’s the thing about Teru: he latches on to any gesture of genuine kindness and holds onto it for dear life. Mob’s kindness is enough to make Teru completely reject his old ideals.

Teru’s emotional state depended on the idea that he’s superior, but now that this belief has been dismantled, he needs a new life purpose to fill the vacuum, something else to distract from the loneliness in his life. And Mob has given Teru a new purpose: to be a good person. A kind person. Teru wants to be Kageyama’s rival—not in terms of psychic power—but in terms of kindness. (That’s why Teru claims to have won against ???% even though he’s clearly overpowered. He was talking about winning a contest of kindness, about repaying the kindness Mob showed him when they met by refusing to use his psychic powers to hurt ???%---even when ???% was hurting him).

So, Teru’s new purpose: kindness and doing good for the world. It’s a good purpose to have. And Teru is good at being kind. He risks his life to fight Claw just because he cares about Mob. He takes down Claw’s splinter organizations all on his own. He fills in at spirits and such for probably negligible pay when Mob trains for the race. He gives advice. He practices intentional humility (sometimes). He always says thank you.

And, of course, he puts his life on the line to stop ???%’s rampage and get through to Mob. He almost dies to save every last civilian.

Teru is good at being good. He is the type of person who spins every stray thread of kindness he receives into gold. He multiplies every rare gesture of love tenfold. It’s a beautiful example of how the human spirit can withstand so much neglect and agony and evil and still come out good in the end. Teru’s name means “brilliance,” and his whole character is about shining a brilliant light into the darkness that surrounds him.

As much as I’d like to believe that’s the whole picture, it’s not. There’s a darker, sadder side to Teru’s redemption

Don’t get me wrong, I believe that Teru cares about his friends very much and is a genuinely kind and good person. BUT that’s not the only reason he’s kind and good. I believe that Teru is so obsessed with being good/putting Mob on a pedestal because “being good” is his new coping mechanism.

See, his coping mechanism before was being superior and having refined psychic powers. But, since Kageyama dismantled that, he found a new purpose: being good. And he uses the pursuit of being good to distract from his empty apartment, neglectful parents, and lack of personal connections.

And isn’t there something so utterly heartbreaking about that? Think about Teru single-handedly taking down all of Claw’s splinter organizations. Think of him spending constant hours refining his psychic powers to be able to beat the bad guys. Going into the forest to meditate to “improve” himself. Training the awakening lab kids. Working out until he is more ripped than any 13-year-old should be. All of it, he probably enjoys, but is it not also a distraction? Is he doing these things solely to become better or also to busy himself and fill the days? Anything to not be by himself, tiny and alone in an empty apartment with strange noises and the bleak reality that there is no one, no one who will even know if Claw sneaks into his house and kills him.

Teru is a tragic character. At the beginning of the story, he is a menace who is completely alone. He is then redeemed. He orients his life towards being good--and gains some meaningful connections, but at the end of the story, Teru is still functionally alone most of the time. Though they care for each other very much, Mob and Teru don’t really hang out in canon. (Fanbook) They’re not even on a first name basis. Teru comes by Reigen’s office sometimes, but not often. He still has no one at home to care for him.

At the end of it all,—months and months later—Teru still has to ask for the occasional hang out with Mob. He is sipping tea sadly when Mob talks about his friendship with Tsubomi, jealous. And then he will go home to an empty apartment, alone. There is no one to take care of him when he is sick. There is no one to discipline him, or tell him “no,” or to prepare him for his first date, or to help him apply for college.

And doesn’t that go against the usual abandoned child narrative? Where the abandoned and neglected child ends the story with so many deep connections and so much love pouring into them that they can barely breathe? Where is that love for Teru? He is doing everything right. He is repaying all of the love and kindness he has ever received, so why is he still alone?

Teru never talks about any friendships besides Mob or adult influences besides Reigen. I truly believe Teru is still relying on his sparse interactions with Mob and Reigen to stay afloat emotionally. And he’s not used to kindnesses---when Reigen takes him to the amusement park, he’s overly thankful (”Reigen-san, you went to all this trouble”) And Teru literally idolizes Mob for the kindness Mob has given him. But this is kind of heartbreaking too.

No child should have to subsist on stray inklings of love and support. Love should not be a limited resource. One of the reasons that Teru treasures kindnesses so much is because he knows that gestures of love towards him are few and far between.

It’s no life for a kid. Teru should have a support system that gives him so much love casually that he’s not afraid to let it slip through his fingers. He shouldn’t have to be overly thankful for kind gestures, he doesn’t have to say “you went to all this trouble,” after someone takes him on a fun summer excursion. Teru should be loved so much that he forgets to say thanks. Love should be an expectation, not just a treasure.

Maybe this is why I’m constantly reading fics where Teru is adopted or where he spends a lot of time with the Kageyamas. Because in canon (especially manga canon), Teru’s ending is incredibly tragic. I really love the way ONE wrote him, and I’m not complaining about the ending---I think it’s great. But I want to see this boy happy. There’s something so sad about someone who loves so much but never gets what they deserve. 

But fanfiction exists! So write him having happy moments. Write Teru at the water park. Write Teru being hugged by Reigen before his graduation. Write him planting a tree. Write him having his first kiss in the rain. Write him going to cosmetology school and becoming a hairdresser. Write Reigen saving up for Teru’s college fund. 

Write Teru experiencing all of the love and joy and beautiful things because he deserves them. I will read all of your fic just put it in my inbox. I will do anything to see this boy be loved.

[ahamkara-apologist]

Okay I kinda get being dissapointed at how they rushed the Sov sibling reconcilliation with just one conversation after drawing it out for months but y'all...this really isn't the end-all-be-all of Crow's character arc, nor is it necessarily out of line for him. His biggest weakness is that he's a bleeding heart who lets people walk all over him- remember how he decided not to get revenge on Spider despite Spider very literally keeping him as a slave? Or how he killed a psion because he was too empathetic to a hive guardian? As much as I love him, and as much as his love is a terrifying force when weilded correctly, he's soft and weak. He always has been. He was bound to forgive Mara eventually, esp. since they have a psychic twin bond going on.

I think y'all are also forgetting the fact that Mara has had quite a bit of character development over the past year or so and has very notably been more open about her emotions and better about keeping herself out of Crow's life- because she got bitchslapped by the reality of what she'd done to him in Season of the Lost and then got shaken to the core by her confrontation with the Witness in Witch Queen. She hasn't been 'defanged', she realized that the way she was acting qualified her to be a Disciple (aka the worst of the worst, the enemy she'd been hellbent on fighting this whole time) and that in tandem with Crow's rejection upset her deeply enough for her to change her behavior, which hasn't been as apparent until now. Idk how y'all can forgive how Uldren Sov slaughtered hundreds of Awoken citizens and wreaked havoc on the Reef but is changed as Crow without also acknowledging the fact that Mara herself changed as well. It's not as dramatic of a difference because it happened more gradually and without intervention from a Taken Ahamkara and the Traveller, but its still there and is the most apparent its ever been right now. It wouldn't surprise me if the reason why Crow is forgiving her now- apart from the fact that he's a softie and discounting potential Riven bullshit- is because she's proven she's changed by both keeping her distance and being more emotionally open with him, as well as open about how she knows she fucked up. That's the second thing Uldren wanted other than her approval, after all.

Also, it's been like, 2 years of Crow being pissed at Mara and avoiding her, so them starting to make up now is kinda necessary even if it feels a bit rushed. I personally would have loved to see more snark and nettling from Crow's end, bc I love conflict and sibling angst, but it really isn't out of character nor is it throwing away Crow's character arc. It would have if Mara hadn't changed, but she has. And while I myself love storylines where victims don't need to forgive their abusers and can exert their wrath upon them as they wish, the fact of the matter is that how such a situation needs to be dealt with varies immensely on a person-to-person basis, which the writing team has already proven they're capable of understanding. Just look at Calus's and Caiatl's relationship! That ended with no reconcilliation because Calus simply refused to change, while Mara has spent the past year trying to get Crow to feel comfortable with her as an equal in conversations and open up to him more and trying to break her habit of watching him like a hawk- aka, acting like an actual sister rather than the pseudo-mother figure she'd picked up from Osanna. Ofc Crow the softie is going to respond to that, esp. since he's got a psychic connection to her via Awoken Twin Magic and seems to have been walking Uldren's memories as of late. He just genuinely is really fucking bad at holding a grudge.

(And while its easy to go 'oh the writing is lazy and rushed', I also think its kinda sus that Riven specifically talks about the human wish to reconnect with family right after the Sov sibling talk happens. It wouldn't surprise me if she picked up on Mara's desire to reconnect with her brother and pushed Crow towards forgiving her. It seems like she's been trying to pull Uldren's memories to the forefront everytime she talks with him and that could be a big factor as to why he's been reflecting on them a lot recently)

[ariaste]

Hi! Regarding your recent post about how you taught your writing workshops, I was reading through it and was feeling very inspired (you sound amazing as a teacher), but I also really wish I had a community like that. Since I'm currently focusing on an original work, I was wondering how do you go about finding fellow writers/betas that you can trust with work and form a mutual writing relationship with? I've looked for and joined many communities like Nanowrimo and discord servers over the years, yet nothing seemed to click? So yeah sorry for the bother but I was wondering if you had any advice :D

Re: "you sound amazing as a teacher" -- aw thanks! I was an INCREDIBLE teacher. That might sound kind of vain to say with so much assurance, but it truly was the first time in my life where I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was doing a really, really fucking good job. (And that's WITH my anxiety, so like. Oof.) I just set out on purpose to be the kind of teacher I always longed to have when I was an apprentice writer, and that got me most of the way there. The rest was just spite for all the shitty creative writing classes I'd had before LOL. I'd already seen all the mistakes myself from the other side, so I just came up with better ways of doing things. And then day one of class, I had them all do a self-assessment of what they wanted to learn in the class, what fears they had, etc, and I was really struck by how universal the sense of insecurity and under-confidence was in all their replies. So that just confirmed what I already suspected, to wit: my ONE JOB (and again, this was a "writing and publishing scifi/fantasy" class) was just to hammer in the idea of, "Your ideas ARE cool, the things you think are cool ARE IN FACT COOL, you ARE allowed to write about queer dragons or whatever and that's an awesome thing to be doing and I'm HERE FOR IT." If the one thing a student takes from a creative writing class is more confidence in their writing and more trust in themself, then the goal has been achieved. If a teacher says anything else, we're verging on snobbery (Iowa Writer's Workshop can go get fucked btw)

ANYWAY.

Finding a beta you click with is a lot like finding a friend or a romantic partner who you click with. That is: there's a lot of fish in the sea, but not all of them are going to be right for you, and sometimes it takes a while to find that special person. It sounds like you're doing all of the right things, though, so just keep at it.

That said, a couple lifehacks: do NOT talk about your work with the vibes of "hey, i'm looking for a beta, does anyone want to beta for me?" because (at least in my experience) those acquaintances often turn out to be sort of transactional and shallow -- think of people who walk into any situation like "hey will you be my girlfriend? i'm looking for a girlfriend. do you want to date me as my girlfriend??? will someone please be my girlfriend?" rather than trying to make genuine connections with people as *people* versus the role that the girlfriend-seeker wants to put them in. (Exception to this: Fandom-specific servers where you are looking for a beta for a fic. Then it's less weird to ask out loud for a beta, because you've already established a mutual shared interest/passion. It's not cold-calling in the same way, you get me??)

Instead, aim to project vibes of "I'm having so much fun playing in my sandbox :) I am having so much fun by myself, maybe too much fun in fact [psychically broadcasting that the fun is in such abundance around here that there would be enough to share if someone happened to wander past...]" Post about your work, talk about it in public, give people little excerpts or tidbits you're proud of. Look for people who express interest in the sort of fun you're having, and then start up conversations about it. Look for people who are having the sort of fun of their own that you're interested in, compliment them on it and ask questions, and build a relationship. (If they're writing the sort of thing you're into, chances are that you're writing the sort of thing they're into. Not always, but frequently!)

Sometimes it is possible to take an existing friend who is interested in your work (or at least supportive of it and loving of you) and kind of train them into being a great beta reader even if they themselves are not really a writer. It takes a lot of self-knowledge of what you're looking for and what you need in terms of feedback, it takes some patience and trust in your relationship with them, it takes the ability to negotiate boundaries and ask really good questions, and it takes a friend who is game to try and who likes the sort of things you like. (Personal recommendation: Don't try to get feedback from someone who isn't even interested in the genre that you're writing. A dedicated literary fiction fan is probably going to have a REAL hard time appreciating your gruesome scifi horror book for what it is, and if they're not familiar with the genre conventions, their suggestions are predisposed to be kind of Weird and Not Right For What You're Writing. Accept their love and support, but also accept that neither of you are going to have a good time if they try to beta for you.)

Trying to build relationships in an open community like a forum or a Discord server is a good way to cast a wide net, but all deep lasting relationships happen on a single line between you and the other person, so look for opportunities to talk to people one-on-one in DMs to build that kind of creative intimacy.

It takes time! But if you're open about the things that are bringing you joy and you're talking about them and setting them out in plain sight, the right people will eventually be drawn to your joy/fun like moths to a flame. Humans cannot resist that shit.

If you've been doing that and it's still not working, check in with yourself -- is your project actually bringing you joy, or are you going through the motions? Readjust, reorient yourself, try again. Lean into it. Go hard or go home. If you're really truly genuinely having fun by yourself, then your eventual readers will too.

If you're doing all THAT and it's STILL not working (that is, if people are expressing initial interest but you can't hold their attention and they wander off once they read your work), then that's a signal that you've got a tension problem.

GOOD LUCK. You will find your people eventually, just keep going! :)

[fallenrocket]

I feel a little apprehensive putting this into words. I guess I'll just start by saying that this is 100% IMHO. I know a lot of people are celebrating "Rogue" and really love the Doctor/Rogue dynamic--I'm not contradicting them or trying to downplay the significance of seeing the Doctor in a same-sex romance, especially after the show seemed to hold back with the Doctor and Yaz. I get that this episode is a big ol' "happy Pride to us!" moment for a lot of fans, and they have every right to feel that way. I just want to talk about why I, an aroace who views the Doctor as aspec, had a hard time fully embracing it.

From the moment I heard chatter that Fifteen was going to be drawn more to men than women, I was fine with it. As I've said before, one of the fun things about Doctor Who aspec headcanons is that each regeneration feels ace in different ways. Most of the new Who Doctors are some flavor of romantic, and plenty of them have been neutral or receptive to men flirting with them. It's all good. I just hoped that an m/m-leaning Doctor still felt ace to me, the way that m/f- and f/f-leaning Doctors have. I was hoping not to get, "The Doctor is gay now, and he's DTF!"

In my view, when the Doctor is drawn to someone, it's always primarily about who they are and what they do, not what they look like. The Doctor does use words like "beautiful," "gorgeous," and "sexy," but they're far more likely to use them in reference to a machine/creature/constellation than to a person. The Doctor forges deep soul connections in their romances while also giving just as much weight and respect to their platonic connections (love you forever, Fifteen and Ruby!) The Doctor's version of "flirting" is usually just being themselves, which people can't help falling in love with, and they're often slow to realize other people are flirting with them. Different Doctors have different reactions to kissing, but 1) they're often the one being kissed, not the other way around, and 2) they often find themselves surprised by kisses. When it comes to sexual references/propositions, their responses usually range from uncomfortable to confused to "does not register at all that there is something sexual here."

Nine when Jackie gives him the old "there's a strange man in my bedroom, anything could happen": ...No.

Ten when Lilith tries to seduce him: Now, that’s one form of magic that’s definitely not going to work on me.

Eleven when Craig says to give him a shout if he needs privacy with a girlfriend or boyfriend: Oh, I will! I’ll shout. Yes, something like, “I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!!”

Twelve when River points out that he has no idea whether or not she looks "amazing": Well, you, you’ve moved your hair about, haven’t you?

Thirteen when Yaz's mum asks if they're dating: ...I don’t think so. Are we?

Now, I get that the show doesn't owe me an aspec Doctor, but what it's given me so far has pretty much always fit into that headcanon nicely. I love that this show is led by a brilliant, imaginative, compassionate hero who has boundless love for their friends and doesn't really care about sex.

That's the energy I was hoping for with Fifteen, and "Rogue" doesn't really deliver it for me. I'm not saying that an aspec person can't respond to Rogue the way the Doctor does, but to me, it just feels off compared to how the Doctor usually is in romantic situations.

When Rogue invites him for a walk outside and the Doctor remarks, "Fast mover," before following him--would any other Doctor take that as a proposition?

Just generally leading with the physical--handsome strangers, commenting on how good Rogue looks in his jacket, "you're hot" on the psychic paper. Again, I've seen the Doctor fall for people based on their bravery, their kindness, their intelligence, their skill in a crisis, etc. They usually are hot, in the way that most people on TV are, but that's not why the Doctor likes them. And with Rogue, that seems to be the very first thing the Doctor notices about him. What qualities of his is the Doctor drawn to?

The Doctor taking more of a lead when it comes to overt flirtation--given that Rogue is kind of a brusque, prickly loner, he likely wasn't going to start it off, but it feels weird to me to see the Doctor take the reins on a romance that isn't some kind of pretense (a la Ten proposing to Queen Elizabeth because he's trying to prove she's really a Zygon.)

I'm not about to say this episode is blatantly sexualized or "think of the children!" or anything like that. And honestly, Fifteen's portrayal here isn't drastically far off from previous characterizations of the Doctor. But there are just lots of little things that, if I was writing it, I'd have nudged slightly to put the Doctor's reactions to Rogue more in line with how they reacted to Rose/Reinette/River/etc.

***

I'd open with the Doctor curious about Rogue as someone who clearly isn't from that time/place, drawn more to the mystery than anything else. When Rogue is dour in response, the Doctor teases him--he's at a party, he's in a playful mood, and he wants the guy to lighten up.

They go outside--maybe together, maybe separately--but they both come across the duchess's shoe, shortly followed by the duchess herself. Rogue makes a clever observation or asks an Excellent Question that piques the Doctor's interest, but then he's disappointed when Rogue pulls the gun on him. Something along the lines of, "Bounty hunter? Just when I thought I met someone interesting," or, "I thought you were clever! How can you find so much evidence and follow it to exactly the wrong conclusion?"

Still, the Doctor's annoyed, not worried. He's confident that he can either convince Rogue he's wrong or get away, so he keeps up the teasing. But when Rogue takes him back to his ship, the Doctor quickly picks up on the fact that it's made to be flown with two. He's becoming slightly more worried about his own predicament, but he also wonders what pain Rogue is trying to conceal, and the little surprising touches around the ship--the DnD dice, the music--are piquing his interest again.

The Doctor uses the scanner to prove he's not a Childur, and Rogue realizes he only wants to capture the right person. The Doctor starts to think maybe there's hope for this guy yet. They go to the TARDIS and have basically the same conversation: "Pure Imagination," the pitch to travel with the Doctor (with added emphasis on there being better possibilities out there than bounty hunting,) and the two of them opening up about continuing on after loss. It's in this scene that Rogue really starts to feel drawn to the Doctor. He considers a kiss, but the Doctor is distracted by reprogramming the triform and misses signals that are visible from space.

Back at the ball, the Doctor and Ruby reconnect and catch each other up. Somewhere in there, they have a brief side exchange about Rogue. Ruby makes a comment about his good looks, and the Doctor says something like, "Is he? Now I know he's a bounty hunter, but he wants to do the right thing here. And no one who listens to Kylie could be all bad!" He spitballs a few "scandalous" ideas before realizing that him and Rogue dancing would be the juiciest. Fewer pregnant pauses and smoldering looks here, maybe some awkwardness like, "We could--I mean, if you wanted to--just to draw her out, mind..."

It's during the dance that the Doctor really starts to twig that he might be catching feelings, even as he stays focused on the task at hand. And it's not until Rogue pulls the proposal move that it occurs to the Doctor that Rogue might possibly be catching feelings for him too.

Climax mostly plays out the same way. Again, less of a pregnant pause with the kiss. Lean into the Doctor's distress over Ruby--maybe Rogue says something like, "Shh, it's okay," before going in for the kiss. The Doctor's face registers surprise, then he kind of melts into it, then before he knows it, Rogue has swapped places with Ruby and is telling the Doctor to find him. And then he's gone.

And this has nothing to do with ace stuff, but I'd set the last scene between the Doctor and Ruby in the TARDIS, with Ruby walking in to find the Doctor aggravated that he's tried numerous options and can't lock onto a way to track Rogue. He tries to play it off--"It was always a longshot, endless dimensions out there. Where to next, huh?"--and Ruby shuts him up and encourages him to let himself feel this loss.

***

But I dunno. Equality doesn't equal equity. Maybe if the Doctor's romance with Rogue had a similarly light touch as some of their m/f connections, people would be arguing that it wasn't really a romance. That the Doctor "clearly" wasn't into Rogue like Rogue was into him, or that the show was pulling its punches with a "sanitized" m/m romance. I can't speak to that experience, and maybe my version wouldn't come off well for reasons I can't see.

And like I said, if you love the Doctor/Rogue, that's great. I'm glad that you got an episode like this during Pride, and I know I can't blame a show for not following my headcanon. I went into "Rogue" apprehensive but hoping I'd love it, and these are just my thoughts and reactions to the episode.

[multidimensionalguidance]

Cancer Season For All Signs (Part 1)

As summer time continues to pass, the sun will now be going through one of the most soft, nurturing, and psychic signs, Cancer! From July 16th till August 16th we will be focusing our energy towards the aspects of our lives that are related to our home, mothers, domestic comfort, vehicles, roots, and inner world.

This transit will have a particular effect for each Ascendant/Rising sign during this time, but please make sure to also take a look at your Moon as well.

Note: All of my astrology post are sidereal calculations!

Aries

You will be extra focused on home matters, spending time with your family or mother, renovating or making changes at home, and overall feeling like you want to be comfy, nurtured, and loved within your home environment. There might have been or will be an unexpected change in your finances be it for good or bad, and it will trigger you to focus on the importance of having your own property or vehicle. There will also be certain psychological or subconscious patterns that will become more noticeable to you during this time, and this could make you feel very sensitive, so be careful on not pressing the anger button on everyone. This potential stress might end up affecting your work or career as well, so be gentle and allow yourself to be nurtured. A lot of changes and transformations have been occuring within your work environment, profession, work, and public image so things have been a bit all over the place with finances, but this has also open your eyes to needing more stability in other areas of your life such as your home. Enjoy your favorite comfort food and people during this season, you deserve it!

Taurus

During this month of the Sun being in your 3rd house you will be more communicative and feeling comfortable with voicing out to others the way you feel, and don't get me wrong, you're not the type to stay quiet at all, but there could have been matters that you've allowed to sit in your head for far too long. It will push you towards being interested in learning new things, processing a lot of information, and/or developing new skills/hobbies. Be mindful of random bursts of anger or unexpected situations occuring out of your own impulsivity that might end up physically affecting you somehow. Luckily, you do have Jupiter fully protecting, guiding, and throwing wisdom your way. Your energy levels might be all over the place, and for the next couple of years you will be experiencing a lot unexpected changes to your body and personality. It will take you some time to get used to it, and even for others who are used to your very stable or predictable nature will be up for a surprise. This is a chance for you to think outside of the box and break away from old ways of being. This season is a good time to accept these changes and to pay attention to the way you share your thoughts, be it spoken or written. You might also thinking about the ways your near environment has kept your from traveling, exploring other places, and connecting with your personal philosophy.

Gemini

Your focus will be all about your resources, finances, self-value, family, food habits, and even beauty related to your face. This might be a season where you'll put more of your energy towards upgrading your finances, and most likely due to expenses being much higher during this year. You might want to organize yourself better not just with your money, but also with the priority you give to self-care when it comes to the food you ingest and the care given to your face. If you decide to buy any products towards those matters it will be highly beneficial for you since Venus its also in there. If you are in the mood of traveling abroad, be wary of any unexpected incident occuring. It would be best if you wait until Mars is no longer tightly conjunct Uranus. If anything, you would do better by growing your savings account during this time until the cosmic weather settles down a bit. If you've been feeling called to staying inside more often or isolated, it's okay, just make sure you're not pushing those who love and care for you away. You are currently being guided to explore subconscious mind, spirituality, and any self limiting beliefs that are stopping you from self development. If you've even been questioning matters of afterlife and religious beliefs, it is also completely normal! Do not shy away from those big questions and stay as curious as always.

Cancer

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all the nurturers, wifey/hubby material, psychics, and most kind hearted souls of the zodiac. This is quite literally your month to shine and feel like the main character because you are! You will be getting more compliments and looks your way with Venus transiting your sign. This is a time for you to simply exist and be yourself. Spend time taking care of your body, mind, and soul during this month and it will be well rewarded. Your social circle, whether it's online or face-face have probably expanded a bit during this year, and it will continue to do so, but please be mindful that not everyone is deserving of your energy this month. Spending time with your family, specially your mother will be very beneficial for you as well. You're always so concerned with taking care of others, but now its a time for you to give that energy to yourself and focus on spending time with those who want to nurture you. Treat yourself this month like the royalty of the zodiac that you truly are! Your social circle has been expanding and gains have also been making their way to you as well, so be wary that all of these blessings also comes with having more eyes on you than you would like to, hence why it is essential to purge those who reek of envy, jealousy, etc. There might be unexpected endings or beginnings occuring within your networking circle, and this could affect your long term goals plus investments, so again, invest in relationships that truly wish the best for you!

Leo

This month will be all about focusing on your spiritual side and subconscious mind. You might feel more introverted during this time or simply not as keen to being surrounded by a lot of people. This is a good time to put an ending towards bad habits and limiting beliefs that could be holding you back from greatness. Any activities related to shadow work or spiritual healing will beneficial so take advantage of it as much as you can. Even if you love being the star of the show, you also need to rest and allow others to miss you a bit. Be wary of not going over the top with expenses, specially related to traveling. If you have any plans of enjoying a spiritual or any sort of retreat, then this will be the best time to do so. You've been experiencing a lot of luck and expansion in your career and profession, but be mindful that the brighter you shine the more noticeable you become to others, and even if you might not care it will draw negative attention your way. There might be a shocking or unexpected situation related to work, your boss, paternal line, or your public image that might come to light so be ready for it.

Virgo

During this time matters related to your goals, friends, investments, online image, financial gains, and elder siblings will be highlighted. You love to bring your natural desire of service towards your friend, and being the mom-friend in your group is a given for you. There's a good chance of gaining money through collaborations with your friends. You might also feel like beautifying in some way your social media, meaning, uploading more aesthetic content or curating your algorithm to be more artsy. This is a good time to re-evaluate your long term goals and making sure that you're flexible to adjusting them if necessary. Any investments that you make during this month that aids your goals no matter how small will be very beneficial for you. Nurture your wishes as if it was your baby during this time and be proud of how far you've come to being closer to achieving them as well. If you have older siblings, then make sure to spend good quality time with them.

Thanks for reading! I'll be uploading part. 2 soon so if your sign is not in here, don't worry.

If you’d like to know with even more detail how Cancer season will be for you or would like to receive a reading from me, feel free to check out my services here or type multiguidance.com in your preferred browser.

[venuslovesmascs]

Pick A Pile : Tarot Reading - Message From Spirit Guides

pile one:

someone is currently working on a creative / academic project - perhaps going back to school! spirit is encouraging you to continue planning and putting work into this! It will bring you the abundance you have been praying for!

"Now Amotenia doesn't create actual love - that would be impossible - but it does create powerful infatuation or obsession, and for that reason it is probably the most dangerous potion in this room" - Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince

you may be doubting yourself because this project does not feel "of service to humanity" in the way you want it to

do not doubt the ways of the universe - and your soul path / soul journey. This thing you create - can inspire others to create, change a person's life, and change the world in your own little way.

plus - you can create another important soul project afterwards! this one feels really important don't give it up - allow yourself to have fun while creating - allow yourself to do "small projects" - not everything you do has to save the world!!

this little project - committing to it - may help you with committing to big projects in the long-run - give yourself the satisfaction of seeing something all the way through - of finishing something!!

pile two:

someone is getting out of a very stuck energy - they may have been struggling with depression and nightmares - and this caused them to not provide and take care of their partner / others as they would like.

you are making bold strokes and big changes - and spirit is really proud of you even if those around you can not tell yet!! you are beginning a whole new cycle and soul journey - this is only the beginning to your new path of enlightenment and fulfillment.

sometimes we need to go through really dark times - to remember what truly lights us up inside - and the things that "light us up" inside - and building our life styles / foundations off of that - is what leads to more long-term fulfillment and reduces burnout

you may have gotten off your feet because you were giving too much to a person - especially a love interest - and

you are starting to save yourself instead! I am proud of you!

sometimes the best way out of a situation is to accept your friends help. there are people who would love to give you emotional support at this time!! maybe even physical support - help cleaning your room - don't be afraid to ask friends - that's what they are for!! you do so much for them - they WANT to give back to you - being hyper-independent is not always "less of a burden" on other people - sometimes your friends want to care for and love you - the true friends in your life WILL feel guilty when they can't care for you back!

things would not have been different - if you made the other choice. time to look ahead on the path from now on - or at least acknowledge that looking backwards is only hurting you. try to stay more present.

pile three:

how do you deal with providing comfort and support to someone who is dealing with grief and loss?

perhaps a loss of a relationship - a pet - due so someones declining mental health.

someone just needs companionship and support - its okay to not have all the answers and to not be able to fix all of someone's problems. we are all suffering in our own ways. sometimes all we can ask is to be less alone and have a hand to hold.

do not let fear hold you back from connecting with someone new - and do not be afraid of your inner-darkness - a lot of your "inner-darkness" - may be undiscovered psychic abilities - connecting to mystics and doing deity work may be beneficial to you at this time

a sacrifice may have been needed to get yourself back on track and in a better vibration - it was not easy to let go of - the universe will soon reward you for this - this period of darkness will pass.

pile four:

someone wants an ending here - of a relationship, a career, etc. they may need to get more advice from friends.

wondering if the person they are seeing - has a partner?

this is a good time to ask friends for help - and not to go this journey alone - and question if knowing the answer is truly beneficial to you or not - would having a definitive answer make the situation any better or worse? would anything change?

something about this persons reputation - or your reputation - could be on the line- and this person may unfortunately have their own "side of the story" - maybe the relationship is very toxic / ab**sive- and you will ruin this persons reputation by calling them out for being a "cheater" - think of who they were when you two were together - trust your intuition of their CHARACTER - not of the SITUATION

maybe they made some mistakes in their personal and dating life - but it seems they never intended to hurt you - or for you to develop feelings - and they may not deserve to have their reputation ruined

this is a time to show forgiveness to this person - and not try to fully understand the situation.

this was NOT a lesson or test for you - not everything is about your path lol - this is about this persons path - you showed them your heart and healed them a lot - do not betray them - it may detour their path as well - you were brought into their life to show them the path of love and light - find contentment that you are an important person on this person's journey and will always be a good story for them to tell.

[loveemagicpeace]

🎑Pisces in houses🎑

💓Pisces in 1st house-you are a person that people see you as very dreamy, mysterious, compassionate, spiritual. You can also be confused at times. You have your own kind of energy that you give off and believe in things that others don't. You can believe in the illusion of things that others never will. You can have a very calming energy. You can quickly turn yourself into the person of your dreams.

🎨Pisces in 2nd house- you appreciate things that are unique, different, dreamy. Your attitude towards money can be completely different from that of others. You are charming, very good with people and adaptable to any kind of environment. These people love what’s beautiful, but are never greedy. They don’t care that much about their financial situation, so they can spend a lot of time working for their unrealistic dreams. And I really appreciate such people because they will never look at you through money.

💍Pisces in 3rd house- these people have an extraordinary mindset, you can listen to them for hours and hours. You communicate in a mesmerizing poetic way, and you manage to express your personal charm and imagination through writing and speaking. You are also very creative. Natives with this placement can end up seeing what people mean when saying something. You love deep and spiritual conversations. Many times they can escape for a short trip to the sea.

🧸Pisces in 4th house- These people have a spiritual connection with their family. It can also mean that you like being by the sea or that a home by the sea could be perfect for you. You like to live in isolation and to be private, so communication for you usually takes place at home. Their home is where they feel at peace and no longer are in contact with the stress of everyday life. They can be unrealistic with the ones they love and not see them for who they are.

🌅Pisces in 5th house- you find your imagination through creation, searching for talents. Love for you can be something inspiring, and even if you are not very stable, you always know where to find your true love. It’s enough they have a difficult time determining what they want in love, but they surely are attracted to those who can “save” them. Pisces energy generally gives off the energy that you want to help even if you don't say it or want to help people. Or you want to save them. It’s very likely for them to fall in love with people who are psychics or artists, also with those who somehow aren’t very realistic.

🧚🏽‍♂️Pisces in 6th house- Your routine can be a real mess many times. You don't know how to be in a routine because you simply do a lot of things. When it comes to work, you can be a person who doesn't like people or working with them. And you are more inclined to do something that involves your creativity and you can be yourself. You can also be afraid to work. Their faith can merge with their reality, so they need to be patient and wise, as well as follow their path in life, just for them to keep being strong and have enough energy.

🩰Pisces in 7th house- you can dream a lot about the perfect partner or soulmate. You can idealize relationships with people a lot. You require affection and intimacy, as it will be your love language. It’s very likely for these natives to suffer and to feel devastated when pressure is being put on them. If it is for them to be complete, they have to be empathetic and connected with a more ethereal world. Pisces here can as well create a lot of confusion and have them wanting to sacrifice themselves for their lover and the sake of their romantic connection.

🌊Pisces in 8th house- you are aware of the fact that we only have one life to live for, so you don’t spend too much time thinking about it. You can be a person who has a strong intuition. You are aware of many more things than others. Therefore, when their inner shadow gets to be expressed, they can end up suffering from multiple personalities. The more they’re deluded about the chaos they can create, the more they can become destructive. People with this placement are sensitive and when sympathizing, they can direct their intuition in the most positive directions.

💎Pisces in 9th house- you have spiritual journeys. You are mystical and curious about the occult or religious traditions. Pisces are known for creating magic around them, but also for poisoning their environment when it comes to the aspects of life they haven’t explored. Spirituality is very important for them, so they’re always looking for the right philosophy to live by. They want to talk about the meaning of life and to make philosophy. It doesn’t matter what they believe in, their ideals are visionary and they possess a lot of faith.

🦄Pisces in 10th houses-you can dream big about your career. You are curious about the occult and secret organizations. This is why some of them are working in strange fields. When it comes to the meaning of life, this for them is a lot related to self-sacrifice. However, they’re true visionaries because they live in this “other world”. Many can accuse them of being impractical, especially when it comes to work and their public image. They may be attracted to be inspirational, to heal or to become artists, especially in the visual arts. People can see you as a very dreamy person.

🧜🏼‍♀️Pisces in 11th house- they have many friends who may be spiritualists and may be considered sympathizers among them. They have many dreams and goals that they want to achieve. In any case, they know how to idealize anyone and to make others feel like they’re perfect, which is also giving them a good disposition. But it causes extreme pain if they happen to be betrayed. These people would do just about anything for their loved ones. When it comes to what makes their relationships stronger, this is innocence, changes, and rebirth. When a relationship ends for them, they’re being pushed to always take the right path. But they can cling to friendships for a long time.

🦋Pisces in 12th house- you are highly imaginative and inspirational. People born in this placement are often creative, gifted and manifest dreams into life through artistic pursuits. They take their deep emotional depth and turn it into art to heal themselves. They can easily delude themselves because they’re always living in a fantasy world, not to mention they want to escape their vulnerable and sweet side because they were probably forced to be strong and more assertive when young. They can see how spiritual life is, no matter how subtly this is presenting itself. You can always look for your soulmate.

-Rebekah🦋🌊💕

[balketh]

Third game of our new first-ever PF2e Campaign: Oblivion Deep.

(I don't recap every sesh/post heaps about it, but I've tagged it uniquely if you wanna mute~)

I'm a player; custom setting of DM's design, second campaign in this world. First campaign was 5+ years in 5e, ended with my Warforged Arcana Cleric accelerating the heat death collapse of the known universe while outside it, so he could use the unlimited potential of the early magic of the new empty universe that appeared in its place to bring the old universe from the past forward, but with a few slight alterations to how Time and Entropy work. (He a thousands-strong spies'-murmur Simulacrum hivemind user - he was literally starting to see the limitations of the universe, always contained within six second intervals. He was starting to see the Ruleset as the underlying problem of the whole setting, and so his end goal was to change it. And he did. To PF2e.) In our current game, I'm playing a Kashrishi (short psychic crystalhorn rhinoman, cool as SHIT) Alch Studies Investigator. Real sherlocky/batmany type. We've been dumped out of the playable intro cutscene - our trial-at-sea ship being attacked by a kraken, after we managed to successfully exonerate ourselves, no less - and murdering the crew trying to steal the lifeboat... So we could take it ourselves.

We were dumped out of this onto what I'm now guessing is the Tutorial Island Dungeon - an island wreathed in shadow, a world plot connected situation that we cannot easily escape from, and likely must solve to handle.

But I say tutorial island dungeon, because, so far, the two games we've spent on this island have been:

grappling with the very powerful but woefully inconsistently designed FoundryVTT (some things: drag and drop, works every time, flawless. others, of the same complexity: you need three modules and a custom bit of code and even then, it's only 80% of the desired solution.) Today it proved its worth by letting us undo a hugely misinterpreted enemy ability that was ruining the fight

we have mananged to kill 1 (one) grippli archer. This would have gone much better (and did, after fixing), if the DM hadn't been using its special multi-attack ability without any Multi-attack Penalty. One of us was still downed, in spite of that.

Rolling like absolute dogshit. I, rolling with +8 at level 1, have only hit, I think, one target, once. If it weren't for the benefit (and sometimes strong drawback) of Devise a Stratagem basically letting me 'preroll and decide' before wasting my attack action, I'd have been the most useless- oh, wait, I have been the most useless member of the party in combat so far; I've literally critically failed MOST of my attempted non-attack combat actions. I think the FoundryVTT roller just hates me.

It's taking a LOT of getting used to; we're definitely improving, but we're still very much in the run-up-and-attack mindset of 5e, and it shows, because a single grippli archer was such a fucking problem for us.

Ugh. Ah well. We actually started getting somewhere, so, things are looking up.

Can't wait to get out of this fucking Shadow darkness, though. Only one member of our party has Darkvision. Shit suuuuuucks.

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Hello! And I had this thought on this transformers, and if you don't mind wanting to answer this, if it's okay?

An Au, where TFA former Autobots that turn into techno-organic, such as Blackarachnia/ Elita-1 and Wasp/inator, return to their Original form but have to separate their techno-organic forms and their techno-organic becoming alive and having their consciousness...

Like Blackarachnia(Elita-1) found someone or she created a very accurate clone of her Autobot self, then she had something similar to a Cortical psychic patch, put it to her Autobot and her brain. Then Blackarachnia's (Elita-1) mind, including all her memories, enters her autobot form, and when she's now Elita-1 and seeing the Blackarachnia's unconscious body, it's a success…

Later, Blackarachnia-now-in-Elita-1 sees Blackarachnia moving and looking around, lost and scared, then sees Elita-1 and asks her, turns out Blackarachnia has amnesia, doesn't have memories of anything including being Elita-1, and her wrongdoings as Blackarachnia…

So Elita-1 told Blackarachnia everything, from Elita-1’s backstory, being Blackarachnia and her wrongdoings, and now. As the new Blackarachnia listens, she feels some sort of connection towards Elita-1. Elita-1 finishes her explanation, and Blackarachnia asks if she hates her and what will she do to her, which Elita-1 has conflicting feelings about, she hates her organic parts but seeing Blackarachnia alive and having a conscious, she feels regret about it. So Elita-1 says she doesn't, which new Blackarachnia, feels a little spark of joy, then she asks if she can be her family/friend, which she accepts and these two become neutral and become close to one another…

Bonus: the new Blackarachnia is the 'Looks like they could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll'. she doesn't have her old counterpart's evil traits, such as being manipulative, cruel, hateful, etc. But has a few traits such as intelligence. And also her a few traits of Elita-1, such as being brave and kind. The new Blackarachnia doesn't hate organic rather she's fascinated by it maybe including liking earth culture despite her appearance. she's somewhat naive, that she doesn't know flirts or seduce, a pacifist, yet protective but can be passive-aggressive…

Elita-1 is the 'Looks like a cinnamon roll, but could actually kill you'. Despite returning to her former self and being reformed, she still feels or acts like the old Blackarachnia, but she'll use it if any situation is difficult. She's become serious yet gentle and protective towards New Blackarachnia, she'll harm anyone if they intend to harm Blackarachnia or her…

(Ps. Thank you if you see this, and probably answer this ask, and sorry if it's a lot and probably don't understand it much, if not I'll enjoy it anyway)

Sorry for the late response, since I got this when the ask box was closed I put it in drafts.

It's a very interesting AU! It's interesting to imagine how the new Blackarachnia would develop as a person, just how many traits from Elita-1 she would retain. There's here intelligence, the bravery and kindness like you mentioned. But I can also imagine her being hotheaded, having never learned how to temper her emotions, never learned how to deal with confrontations. She's brutally honest and acts before thinking, having never experienced the consequences of her actions before.

I can see Elita and Blackarachnia having a complicated relationship and dynamic. On one hand, like you mentioned, she loathes seeing her organic half as it makes her remember all the pain that she went through. She's happy to be rid of it, to be herself again and part of her wants to forget it ever happened, leave it all behind. But Blackarachnia is innocent. She does not know how cruel life can be and that her very existence is seen as disgusting by most mecha. And she can't just leave her to go through the same thing that she herself went through. So Elita sticks with her.

Meanwhile, Blackarachnia follows Elita around like a lost puppy. She follows her every world, sees her as this almost all-knowing bot. Blackarachnia has complete trust in Elita and would never doubt her.

[igotanidea]

Attention: Wednesday Addams x f!reader x Tyler Galpin

request: Hi could you do Tyler galpin x reader x Wednesday Addams. Where Tyler and Wednesday both have a crush on the reader so they basically fighting over the readers love.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long, hope whoever asked wil enjoy it. Oh, and there;s also a bit of plot twist at the end.

„ENID!” I spotted my blonde friend in the middle of the quad and came rushing into her direction

“Y/N? What is happening? You look like you’ve seen a ghost and in this school that would be perfectly normal”

“Quick! Hide me!”

“What?”

“Just do it!” I squealed and duck behind her in the poorest attempt of becoming invisible

“What is going on…..?” Enid started but I forced her to turn around and shield me behind her back “oh, oh….” Her eyes grew wide upon seeing small, dark figure appearing on the other side of the quad “what did you do to make Wednesday chase you?”

“Nothing! I swear!”

“Enid. Y/n.” Addams approached and greeted us with a low, dark voice, acting so in-style “you both realize that your poor attempt to avoid me is futile, right?”

“I’m starting to comprehend that now” I hissed stepping from behind. I was only embarrassing myself after all. For a moment we were just standing in front of each other, Wednesday’s eyes fixed on mine, as I was desperately looking everywhere but on her. At the same time, Enid was just turning her head left and right, assessing the situation, wide smile slowly creeping on her face.

“Girls? Is there something going on? Should I know about something?”

“Like what?” Wednesday narrowed her eyes at the she –wolf

“Dunno” Enid shrugged casually, her hair bouncing “just suggesting there may be something going on.”

“NOTHING is going on” I insisted, now shaking a little bit.

“Precisely. I have no idea why you would think otherwise.”

“Very well then” Enid jumped a bit “I got places to be, so I guess I’ll leave you two alone for the time being. See you later, girls.”

“Don’t you dare……” I started but she already turned on her heel and disappeared in her little rainbow cloud, probably off to meet with Ajax. Holy shit!

***

Word of explanation. 

When Wednesday Addams first step a foot into the Nevermore walls she got the attention of the whole school. Most of the students listened to those crazy rumors, ranging from her being an alien (like, really?) to her releasing piranhas on the boys who dared to hurt her brother. No matter if you believed them (I didn’t) you had to participate and have an opinion. Well, the subject of those information couldn’t care less about anything or anyone. Constantly in her own world, her own mind. A lone wolf. Except for Enid, who was chosen to be her roommate in the Ophelia Hall.  Sinclair was just being herself, cute, wonderful, emotional ray of sunshine, giving Wednesday a tour around the school, acknowledging her with the rules and cliques. And, much to my bad lack I happened to cross the quad the very moment they were walking down the stairs. No one was watching, so yeah, you guessed it. The crash, a bruise and a bit of blood. And what’s better way to bond with a person who apparently eats human flesh than share some blood. We both ended up in a hospital wing, just eyeing each other in silence, both curious of the other. However, what I didn’t know that this very moment I miraculously happened to catch the attention of the dark-haired girl. It only grew when she learned I was a descendant of one of the most renounced killer of the times. Great-great-great-great granddaughter, so really, not much of a connection, but enough for her. She believed it was something admirable (although she called it “worth exploring”, not that is sounded ominous at all) and more often than less I caught her, observing me during classes or lunch, just feeling her eyes on me. That was a bit creepy, but also…. weirdly flattering. As much as I hated that family tree, I was also a psychic, so sometimes, rarely¸ my ancestor spoke through me (talk about a channeler tendencies) causing a lot of trouble. Like one time when she asked me, what kind of torture would I choose to use as an act of revenge.

“Torture? Wednesday, that is ridiculous… I don’t…. Play pop music for the whole day.” Yeah, I guess my great-great-great-great-grandfather had a sense of humor. And in some crazy way it attracted Addams to me.

At first, she was just watching from the distance, like I was a riddle to figure out, but now she got far more direct. I suppose the hyde problem only accelerated it. In a few week time she had no problem in making me join her in her crazy adventures and ideas. Ok, I admit her moodboards, the one that creeped Enid was actually nicely prepared and well-though. Damn my blood, but slowly I started to get interested in Addams as well. We were sharing, for god’s sake.

But. 

There was one problem,

And his name was Tyler Galpin.

Normally, Nevermore students weren’t allowed to go to Jericho and interact with normies. I guess there’s always an exception to the rule. I suppose I forgot to mention how and why I ended up in Nevermore.  It definitely wasn’t because my parents wanted me to explore my inner self and grow up (like Enid’s mother wished for her), but also not because I was an obstacle and a liability (like Xavier’s father apparently thought). Nope. It was because I was going crazy with all the voices in my head, getting tired of being a medium and my family murderous attempt to make me a legacy to the hurting spree tradition. I never wanted that. So, one day I just simply run away. Having done my research I learned about Nevermore and the way It worked, knowing exactly where to go, but on my way I took one wrong turn and instead of ending up on the school ground I found myself in Jericho, exhausted, dirty and looking like a complete freak after three-day journey. On. My. Feet.  How surprising that my family never looked for me, simply writing me off (having said that – maybe my situation wasa bit similar to Xavier’s). Anyway.  Due to all the adventures I nearly passed out in front of Weathervane. And that’s when Tyler stepped in, almost forcing me to come inside, getting me a snack and a drink, just smiling and sitting there watching me closely, making sure I was getting better. Good thing it was late and every decent habitant of Jericho was in home, getting ready for a night’s sleep. Tyler’s nice attitude somehow made me tell him everything. About me being  a freak, searching for Nevermore and all the sad, sob, story. He never judged, never really freaked out.  Quite the opposite, he pointed me in the right direction, making sure I got to my destination safely. And then, principal Weems took good care of me. Having in mind, all my history and the mental problems my family caused, she made sure I got professional help, embodied in dr Kinbott.  And that was when I reunited with Tyler. In same way as with Wednesday.

“My head…. I got to stop meeting people this way” I hissed getting up from the floor

“It was entirely my fault, Y/N” strong arm reached towards me and lifted me up ”Hi, again.” he smiled again, and damn, those dimples…..”How about I make it up to you with a coffee?

So, I hope now you get the problem. I got two people interested in me.  And neither Wednesday nor Tyler liked the competition.

And that’s how we end up back in the quad with Wednesday’s eyes fixed on my face.

***

“I swear if she keeps looking at me like that I’m going to turn into ashes” I thought to myself feeling the blush showing on my cheeks

“Wednesday.” Shit, be smart, be smart “is there something I can help you with?”

“I don’t need your help. Nor anyone else’s. Though I was wondering whether you were going to attend the fair?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” I shrugged, but couldn’t help a little bit of blush. Damn it was hard to understand if she was trying to flirt in her specific way or trying to find out if I was going to be an obstacle in whatever crazy plan she had in mind.

“Not quite the answer” she retorted

“Yes, Wednesday, I am going. Why are you asking?”

“No reason. But you might be a bit useful for me. I have a plan and your skills can be complementary to mine.”

“Complementary, huh?”

“Yes. I’ll see you at the fair than.”

Did you hear me say, that everyone was going to be there? That included Tyler as well.

*** “Y/N.” Tyler smiled in the happiest way possible when he saw me walking around the fair. “Addams.” Just a nod in her direction.

“Galpin.” She responded with her coldest, most focused tone, eyeing him like she was trying to get inside his head. Well, maybe she was…..

“Are you having fun?” the boy asked

“I….”

“We are way above such mundane attraction as this. Only came because we were forced to. And fun, as you put it is overrated” yeah, Wednesday did not hold back.

“I see. No surprise Y/N is a bit bored. It’s always about the right company.”

“Maybe you should leave then?”

“Guys…..”

“Oh, I only just came. And I am going to enjoy the evening .”

“So are we. Nevertheless, we have something different planned….”

“We?” Tyler raised an eyebrow “it seems like you have a plan and you are just dragging Y/N along. Did you even ask her if she wants so?” he turned towards my direction

“I…..” I tried again, but didn’t manage a word

“I am far from forcing people to do anything. I believe in free will.”

“Oh, I bet you do. But you have outstanding tendency to get people involved in your matter.”

“Maybe.” Wednesday smirked at Tyler’s annoyed expression and since for a second silence fell between them I saw that as my chance to chime in.

“Um, Tyler, Wednesday, can’t we just…..?

“Would you like to have some ice cream Y/N?” Tyler smiled taking a step closer to me and Wednesday tensed a bit

“I…..”

“Ice cream are so primitive. How about we go investigate?” she suggested looking me straight in the eye.

“Oh, for god’s sake” I hissed and turned on my feet

“Investigate? You are trying to get her in trouble, aren’t you?”

“Just creating some good memories. I guess that’s a thing in your world. And being useful, unlike you…..”

“You know Addams, taking care of people’s emotional needs is useful. Not that you would understand that, right?”

“come on, Y/N, we don’t have to …..” my creepy female friend shifted slightly to me, only now realizing I just walked away, joining Enid and Ajax and watching them from a distance while actually enjoying some ice cream.

“See what you did?” Tyler muttered

“I did?”

“Yeah, if you just stepped out of this and…..”

Ok, now Wednesday was walking towards me and I got a déjà vu from the situation at the quad. Clearly she was done dealing with Tyler’s bullshit.

“Wednesday” oh, thank you Enid for stepping in “you decided to join us?”

“I did!” Tyler gasped outrunning the girl.

“Since when are you hanging with the freaks?” Xavier hissed. “If he’s here than I’m out” he stood up abruptly, bumping into Ajax by accident and causing his ice cream to end up at the front of my T-shirt leaving a nasty stain.

“Dude!” Ajax whined

“Shit…” I muttered, reaching for a tissue to at least try to clean it, but instead of the paper touching something soft and warm. Tyler’s hand. He was reaching for the same tissue.

“Let me help you” he searched for my eyes, caressing my palm gently and my eyes grew wide and cheeks went red in an instant. Again, before I could even say a word, Wednesday was by my side handing me another piece of material for cleaning, glaring at the boy. I felt like screaming at this point.

“Xavier?” I smiled turning to him with a smile, but my eyes were literally screaming for help and hoping he got my message. “Are you heading out? Can I join you?” please, please, get me out of this love battle. Thorpe looked at me, a bit taken aback but nodded slowly, not even realizing how much relief that brought me. If I even suggested going back to school by myself, Tyler and Wednesday would start that whole it’s dangerous etc. Xavier was my best shot, since if I joined him neither of my wooer would want to be near him.

“What is going on with you and Addams and Galpin?” he asked when we were out of the earshot

“Oh, fuck, don’t even get me started on that” I rolled my eyes, looking behind. Tyler and Wednesday was sitting in front of each other, in silence, eyeing each other like it was some sick stare battle, Enid and Ajax on the side looking absolutely helpless, but still trying to talk the silence away. “I’m sick of them acting like children. This was nice at first, you know, being noticed, but now….”

“Now, what?”

“It’s like I’m a prize in a competition between them.”

“Are you even interested in any of them?”

“I don’t know now! I’m confused to say the least. And tired. And a bit worried what may come from this.”

“Have you ever considered choosing someone else to be with?” he stopped and I almost bumped into him

“I…. Wait, what?”

“I’m just saying.” He shrugged and it came out a bit awkward “stepping outside that triangle might be beneficial for you.”

“Xavier?”

“I’m just saying.” He repeated and smirked at me with gleaming eyes, before resuming his walk.  

Oh shit…….

@pinksirensong

@somest1

[smallnico]

4, 5, and 8 durgetash asks >:3

LONG ASS ANSWER thank u for asking <3

https://www.tumblr.com/smallnico/756672403384434688

read more if you like pain with a side of petty god drama <3

4. Did Durge steal anything for themselves during the heist, or did they only take the crown?

the boring answer is yeah, because esper is a big fan of stealing and will do it with very little justification. i don't have any specific items in mind that they would have stolen, but if something looked valuable and reasonably not-cursed, they would've grabbed it and probably pawned it to helsik or one of gortash's buyers.

the exciting answer is that the hell heist is also the first and only time bhaalist esper stole a kiss from everyone's favourite babygurl. this requires a bit of explanation, but i am happy to provide. >:3

so, bhaal uses esper as an avatar. even when he's not actively superseding their consciousness and using their body as his own, he likes to watch through their eyes and make them feel aggression or agitation or lust or nausea or pleasure or pain, or whatever the situation calls for in order to manipulate them into doing what he wants. esper is fairly resistant to the smaller-scale manipulations or their physical emotions and responses thanks to the bard training from their childhood, but they consider these small signs as missives from the divine (because that's what they are, really) -- warnings to stop what they're doing and do what father says, or else he's going to make you black out and wake up with some fresh bullshit to answer for and deal with. esper fears this loss of control more than anything, so they compensate by being a zealous and committed servant, just so they can at least keep their mind. just so they can have Something.

bhaal is always living in esper's head rent free even when he's not there, panopticon style. this, plus the Gift of Guaranteed Murder (which i interpret for esper as a hyperawareness of signs of life in their surroundings and an inexorable pull toward snuffing them out, Especially when people touch them. esper is constantly bordering on overstimulated by the sound of breathing, heartbeats, body heat, etc., so when they're feeling particularly sick from touch starvation, that's when they get cozy with corpses) is the main cluster of reasons they never actually get with gortash, and actively repress their desire to do so. sure, they're extremely aware of the fact that gortash Wants them and they know the effect they have on him, but the only thing they do about it is manipulate his attentions to their gain. where it starts to get a bit cloudier and less manipulative for them both is on the level of friendship and emotional connection. both gortash and esper are deeply isolated and disconnected people, but through some cosmic tragic joke (hehe) they've ended up in the same fuckin. emotional netherzone. so they're both mutually the only person the other has ever felt they could actually relate to, and the very small vulnerable lonely parts of their souls cling to each other with everything they've got in spite of how much the rest of their selves want to pretend that isn't happening.

so, while they aren't really in love per se, esper needs gortash and gortash needs them, both on a deep, scared lizard brain level. but every time esper (who is by far the more emotionally intelligent person in their diad by virtue of literally being an empath and a psychic) tries to reach out for warmth, tries to satisfy even as much as the gnawing touch starvation they feel because they're terrified of losing what little control they have over their body, bhaal is there to shock them away from it with a cold sweat or a physical disgust, just to warn them away from latching onto anything that distracts them from their purpose -- to help him slaughter everything. so they have to ignore the lengths gortash will go to win their favour. they have to ignore the fact that he's willing to share power with them. they have to ignore the grand gestures, the convoluted schemes, the business dealings he amends to benefit their interests as well as his, the nonsense issues he contrives to find an excuse to spend time with them. the fact that he wants to possess them, but is willing to ignore that want and frame their interactions to pre-emptively satisfy the temple of bhaal's independance from his baneite affairs, because he values esper's company just a little bit more than his own greed. and esper can't Not be aware of this because they can't tune out the information their own magic is giving them.

so, what does the hell heist have to do with all of this? let me tell you. since raphael has the ability to silence the emperor And the voice of bhaal in act 3 when he forces you into a private conversation about the crown of karsus (something that also made esper go a little feral, because What The Fuck, You Can Just Do That, Don't Put It Back, cue a lot of panicking about taking that deal because they want nothing more than to be free from all that shit, but that's another point), and because there aren't really any durge moments in the house of hope (and the emperor is also out of reach down there), i thought it would be fun if bhaal just. couldn't possess them while they were in the hells.

so, imagine you're esper. imagine you're embarking on another heist with your bestie associate, normal as anything, as a part of his grand plan (which he made sure to get your god to sign off on) to steal the crown of karsus and turn the both of you into gods, him for power and you for freedom from your current master shit boss dad beloved dark lord. you have your doubts and don't trust him to not use the crown for himself and make only himself into a god capable of subjugating you, but you find these weird illithid plans you can use instead. it's a lot more complicated, but that's how gortash likes to do things, especially if it means getting to work with you for just a bit longer. he thinks this whole tadpole thing could also help finally make his steel watchers, this project he's been labouring on for years, work. his hands are on the crown, they're on ultimate power, and he's showing you these plans instead, proposing an alternative that will Ensure that you can both conquer the world -- together by necessity -- and leverage your followers against the existing pantheon into granting you mutual godhood. no faith required.

and you realize in that moment that you love him for this. and that the immediate whiplash feeling of violence and hatred and disgust you're used to feeling when you love... isn't there. you can hear his heart hammering in his chest and smell the fear and adrenaline in his system, sense the presence of memories he's pushing down. you know the world around him is soup to him right now. he's suggestible, at this point trying to win you over in the only ways he knows how out of habit, because he's wanted to do it for so long it's second nature even when he's so agitated, when you know that he knows that you know that he knows it'll never work. you think about him. you think about what he's promising you, what he's making inevitable for you by locking the both of you into a gamble that could be a suicide pact, but will ultimately free you, one way or the other, and ensure that you aren't alone while you're waiting for how it turns out, because he'll be there with you. your freedom, and finally, an end to your gnawing, all-consuming loneliness.

and you can't hear your god. and your god can't hear you.

so you grab the man by the shoulders and steal a moment in this tense situation to kiss the fuck out of him. everything you have time for. you justify this uncontrolled, impulsive, opportunistic act of pure fucking id to yourself in hindsight with the usual. you were manipulating him into keeping his promise, obviously. he was too gobsmacked and overwhelmed to absorb what you said to him, but you remember. you were in control. something about making sure he kept his promise. you remember, don't you? you didn't do it for you. you didn't do it to spite your god, or to resist. you would never do something like that.

you remember what you said, right?

anyway, that's what esper stole from the mephistar vault. boy oh boy did they ever have to pay for it though, lol. they started spiralling after, eventually culminating in the prayer for forgiveness and the whole bullshit with orin.

5. What did pre tadpole Durge think of Jergal? Was that mindset in any way influenced by Bhaal?

i think esper didnt consider jergal much, other than as a predecessor to bhaal and an ancient minor deity they had no need to contend with. their opinions were very much influenced by bhaal, and bhaal had no particular reason to suspect jergal of fucking around.

the gods bhaalist esper really had beef with were bane and cyric. bane for the whole you-oppressed-my-god-and-killed-a-bunch-of-bhaalists situation (that manifests as an ideological opposition to doing anything gortash tells them to, among other things) and cyric for the whole bitchass-usurper-who-killed-my-god-and-stole-his-job situation. part of the reason esper hates the zhentarim on principle and sides with the guild during any territorial skirmishes in the area is because they do hold a grudge against the zhents for their not-so-secret cyricist history. one of these days i'll write about that particular death cult political drama, since it's part of my headcanon surrounding the hall of wonders heist -- lots of cyric temples were built out of old bhaalist temples and kept bhaalist relics for show, so it seemed to me like a faction that would be likely to, for example, drag a bunch of stolen bhaalist relics into the city for people to gawp at.

given esper's beef with cyric, i believe the thinking is that while jergal served as his seneschal, he was also working to subvert him, so esper doesn't have a problem with jergal. in a way, esper also serves as a seneschal for bhaal, so if nothing else, they understand that you don't often get to choose your god, and you gotta do what you gotta do to live your life with dignity and take pride in what you do. since jergal wasn't (at least to their knowledge at the time) trying to subvert bhaal, esper didn't count him as an enemy.

post-tadpole (and post-endgame) esper effectively has no choice but to become a jergal stan thanks to withers, but even pre-tadpole their personal philosophy (shackled to, but apart from bhaal) aligned harder with jergal than most gods. they were (and still are) a fatalistic believer that all living things must die, but contrary to bhaal's philosophy, esper likes to look at the bigger picture of their victims' whole lives and the impacts their deaths will have -- when they have the luxury of choice, esper is picky about who they kill, preferring deaths that will create a rippling narrative of fear of murder/bhaal or ones that help to prune away undesired developments in the world, and they get their gay little psychic hands all over the vibes of everyone they meet regardless of their intent to kill them, so it becomes difficult Not to remember those narratives. esper always has a few good stories to tell at the feast of the moon.

8. What were their last words towards each other? And who really got the final say? (Same as prev, be as vague as you'd like)

split this one into two, since there are different answers depending on when you consider their 'last' conversation was!

last words pre-orin:

i don't have any specific words in mind, but i feel like their last conversation before orin's surprise attack was about as normal as any conversation could be after the mess during the hell heist. esper was called to moonrise towers to help ketheric with some strategy he'd been planning to entrap and recruit drow soldiers to appoint as squadron leaders, since the swathes of goblins and reanimated corpses they'd collected wasn't very conducive to organization, and ketheric is a great general, but he's not as feverish a micromanager as esper or gortash are, and the absolute's army needs competent leaders for him to delegate to. esper, being raised as drow, had some insights that could be used to hook good candidates, so they were off to make sure it got done right while gortash and orin (probably; she's a shapeshifter, she's probably still here, right?) kept things under control in baldur's gate.

so esper headed to moonrise, where they provided ketheric with their advice, briefly indulged in a drink and an only sort-of-disguised vent session chastising ketheric for only serving his god because myrkul was essentially holding his love for his daughter hostage. the kind of empty judgement that they pass constantly, but their heart isn't really in, because they're mostly just envious that ketheric's god was willing to let him have Something. cue esper going to the basement and getting vibe checked by orin on bhaal's behalf for being an ingrate.

but the last conversation between esper and gortash was purely business. what are you talking about? nothing happened in the hells, no, of course not. no question that gortash had the last word there, because he always does, he's petty like that. something inane and amiable like "i'll have a list of targets by tomorrow, but i'll make sure the temple doesn't kill them all before you get back," or like, "walk in death, my dear urge, or whatever it is your lot says", or "close the door behind you".

last words pre-gortash dying:

"i think i always liked you, too. but this is how it has to be."

... or some more characteristic equivalent based on that line. gortash learned at the very last minute that esper was right -- they did always like him, because they had the ability to curbstomp him extremely disrespectfully any time they wanted, and they worked very, very hard to avoid doing so. he realizes that esper did care about him, very much, because he was now looking at an esper that didn't care what happened to him. he sees them taking their swords to someone else while karlach is killing him -- annoying and embarrassing, by the way, to be killed by an employee of all things --he sees them let someone else take the kill, breaking their promise that he would die by their hand.

but there's some peace in that. they got out. they said they got out. his empire is crumbling around him, and the only person he's ever loved is abandoning him for a second time, and he hates them, he hates them, he hates them. he'll drag them kicking and screaming into the hells with him if bane ever lets him. but that same small part of him that they had thought died when he lost them for the first time, he can feel it again.

and it's grinning from ear to ear. because the plan worked. he's doomed, but he was right, and it worked. and his last living thought is on getting revenge, just like it's always been.

[twinkle-art]

if your interested i was curious about your thoughts/analysis on the mp100 ritsu/shou parallels or just ritshou in general

omg yes my special little narrative foils <3

SO. i've mentioned this offhand before but what i find the most interesting isn't actually the obvious parallel itself, it's that this parallel was drawn by shou within the fiction of the story, and i don't think the narrative actually means for us to take it entirely at face value

what i mean by this is that shou correctly identified the specific vein of resentful defensiveness that him and ritsu share based on their family backgrounds but like. obviously mob and touichirou are vastly different people playing extremely different roles in their lives. and that's going to affect the way those relationships impact them.

(imo at the time he was verbalizing all this, i think shou simultaneously overestimated ritsu's disdain for mob based on his own cocktail of biases (and because he didn't particularly like him), and underestimated just how fucked in the head his father was)

this can be seen illustrated pretty unambiguously in ???% arc, where they each come away from their respective familial conflicts with polar opposite feelings regarding psychic powers- for ritsu, they were something empowering that allowed him to bridge the gap between him and his brother. for shou, they were something to reject, inextricably linked to pretty much everything that went wrong in his and his father's relationship. and despite being obviously contradictory, these are both conclusions that make sense for them to reach, based on their experiences.

(though given this universe's philosophy i'm sure shou will have to contend with this stance eventually. but that's not what i'm talking about right now)

despite all that though i do think this connection was deeply meaningful to them, especially shou. like it is objectively hilarious that this kid is going around calling someone who treats him like an acquaintance his Best Friend after like, three extremely tumultuous encounters but i do think this speaks to how much of a lifeline it was to encounter a kid his age with circumstances even remotely similar to his (and probably why he jumped to conclusions a tiny bit)

it's an extremely thirteen year old thing to do to look at a kid like ritsu and think he's the coolest person you have ever met in your entire life, but in the noble tradition of taking everything about shou and thinking about it until it becomes kind of heartbreaking, i do think the way he latched onto him had a lot to do with that desperate need to be seen. especially because i imagine the environment fostered around claw was driving him slowly insane with how dismissive it would've been towards, you know, the general way his father was, and how that affected him

i find it hard to imagine ritsu was in as dire straits, especially because him and mob were like. already starting to make progress on their Whole Deal by the time shou barreled into the picture itching to fix his life by fighting his dad. (and it definitely doesn't help that he's not exactly as outgoing or like. conventionally sociable as shou) but i don't think he was unaffected by this connection, and he clearly likes him, even if he's not as enthusiastic lol

my concluding unrelated ritshou thought is that i find it extremely easy to imagine them spending all of high school acting like a mall couple but not actually dating. and also i think they should get married someday solely because the in-law situation would be very very funny, and my end goal with all media is to come up with the most uncomfortable possible family dinner configuration for the sake of doing elaborate bits.