#but this is a milestone for me cause I actually sat down and did this

[blade-that-was-broken]

@endlesspaint

[soobrat]

fuck up my life; hjs

milestone celebration masterlist

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ pairing; han jisung x afab!reader

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ words; 14.8k

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ genre; angst, smut, fluff

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ warnings; descriptions of pain inflicted by extreme cold, SLOOOOW burn, mentions of extramarital affairs, cunnilingus, PIV, passionate sex, multiple reader orgasms, unprotected sex (leave me alone)

↻ ◁ || ▷ : Two things: my insistence on using Loona members means there is a character named Hyunjin in a skz fic who isn't skz Hyunjin. I was going to change it but I feel like it's not that hard. She's a girl, she's not Hwang Hyunjin, it's that simple Also, this is a fic that references a real place with a real culture and real people. NOTHING I write in this fic reflects how I feel about the people who live in Jeju or how Jeju actually is. It is COMPLETELY fictional and had nothing to do with anything I've witnessed about Jeju. (and yeah I changed up the little banner, I liked the idea of a little moodboard.)

act iii ➻ run

Winter 2025

“To the bride!” 

To say the group sat in front of Jisung were rowdy would be an understatement. They shout and laugh, effusing over the lucky couple’s merriment. Your husband looks to you, drowning in layers of white fabric, and raises his glass. The group doesn’t even try to be contained to their booth, spilling out of their seats onto the floor only to pile back up into the booth again. A waitress comes over and stammers a request for you guys to pipe down. None of you listen, in fact, you look over at the waitress with a twinkle in your eye as you gather her hands to her confusion.

“I’m a married woman now.” You say dreamily. As the cheering from your crowd gets louder, the waitress retracts her hands and retreats through an “Employees Only” door. Jisung clenches his glass, his eyes dead set on your figure. What he did to Jiwoo was for her sake, but it was also for you. Yet here you are. You’d rather traumatize yet another sad sap than just wait for him. Jisung is flogged with bitterness against his better judgment. He should know better than to accept this as reality, but his heart won’t listen to his head.

“We’re going to have to ask you all to leave.” A man speaks to Jisung’s right. He keeps his eyes on you. 

“Seriously?! It’s my wedding day!” You cry out, hoping the manager or whoever will understand how much heartbreak he’s causing you. 

“You guys are disrupting the other patrons. If you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police.” The man remains calm, even offering these punks courtesy by lowering his voice. Jisung’s eyelids twitch, his eyes burning with his insistence to keep them on you.

“Sir, have you never had fun? Let loose? Sometimes rules are stifling, you know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right people to–”

The glass he’s been clenching is launched to the ground before the motion is even registered in his mind. Red drains from his vision as in one swing, all his frustration is emptied. He assumes everyone is looking at him, but he only sees you. Or… not you.

The woman looks shocked, a little scared. Suddenly not so enthused about her rowdy marriage celebration. Jisung is finally unclenched from his fixation, looking around the room at the confused and shocked faces. His hand dives into his pockets, pulling a couple withered bills coated in something. He drops them on the table haphazardly, rushing from his table and out of the door.

He slides in his car and slams the door shut. Heaving, he settles back into his chair. He knew that wasn’t you. He does this every fucking time. He swallows hard, his hands clumsily jam the key into the ignition.

He pulls into the complex’s parking lot and opens the sun visor. His key ring drops into his lap but his attention lingers on his reflection and what the couple and their group must’ve seen. His patchy facial hair, the turbulent mop on his head, eyes red with irritation surrounded by dark circles. Not much has changed, he thinks, despite a year passing.

Spring 2024

“What was the occasion?” The consignment shop owner asks absentmindedly, glancing at Jisung after he doesn’t get an answer. Jisung gapes at him, brushing his sweaty palms off on his pants. 

“A lot of men sell their suits after their weddings,” he starts again, rubbing the material of the suit between his fingers, “women are a little more sentimental about this stuff–”

“How much? Um, h-how much for it?” Jisung interrupts the owner’s chuckling. The owner looks up again, this time he seems to take in Jisung’s disheveled appearance and his agitated state. He doesn’t comment on the obvious, just offers Jisung a tight smile.

“This was tailored to you, correct?”

Jisung exhales tightly, rubbing his forehead. He didn’t even think about that. “Yeah, but–”

“Then I’m sorry, it’ll slice the price down.”

Jisung lets out a heavy sigh, the stress making him want to lay on the floor and yell. 

“I think… maybe around one thousand.”

“One thousand?” Jisung’s mood immediately flips. Both men look at each other, puzzled. 

“This is designer, right? Cucinelli?” The owner asks like he’s confused why he even has to.

“I-I don’t…” He didn’t buy it. His father in law did. “I’ll take it.”

The owner beams, looking happy to have such a nice piece for sale. “Would you like it in cash?”

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

He counts the cash as he thinks over his plan once more. He has more than enough for the ticket. When he gets there… maybe he’ll stay at a motel? Is it a walkable city? He can hear Jiwoo now, scolding him for not planning this out. He could have gone about this all in a different way. It doesn’t matter. And Jiwoo… she’ll be hurt now, but she’ll be better off this way. And he’ll figure it out. He has to.

“Next!” 

Jisung’s eyes dart up to the person behind the desk before gathering his cash. “Yes um, one way to… Jeju?”

“Sir. The next train from here to Jeju doesn’t come until tomorrow.” She responds in vexed monotone. The look on the employee’s face expresses exactly what Jisung is thinking. But wondering why he didn’t look this up beforehand won’t change the fact that he still has to wait. 

“O-of course! I’ll um…” Jisung gives up on trying to look less stupid and skitters away. As he shuts the door to his motel room behind him, a strong fear that he’ll be staying there forever crops up. He shakes it away for now. He can’t think that way for the sake of his sanity. 

The next morning he comes back to the train station with his tail tucked between his legs. 

“The next train will come at noon.” This employee was much more chipper as she delivered bad news. Jisung sighs, having gotten up at 6 am for no reason. It’s not like he was sleeping much anyway. He can brazenly blame his lack of sleep for his lack of preparation yet again, but the twisting in his stomach didn’t lie. He sits on the many wooden benches that resembled pews in the waiting area. Even sitting on them was eerily familiar. His body curves over, making it harder for his older self like always with the way he contorts his spine. Before he can examine his watch, he catches a glimpse of his warped appearance around the metal frame. It holds him, the warping doing nothing to hide how tired he looked. He’ll have to shave soon. Does he have a razor?

He’s ruining his life.

The thought booms, shaking him. Jisung bites down hard on his lip. No matter how much he tries to distract himself, the feeling won’t go away. 

“Train to Daegu?” A worker taps Jisung’s shoulder and jolts him awake. Jisung makes groggy noises, frazzled as he glances around before shaking his head. “If you’re taking the train to Daegu, start heading to track seven now!” The worker yells as he walks past the benches. Jisung hadn’t even noticed himself go to sleep.

He glances at his watch again. 10:35. Great. He readjusts against the solid wood before crossing his arms. 

“Train to Jeju?” The worker jolts Jisung awake once again. Once he gains his barings, he hurriedly gathers his duffle bag full of haphazardly purchased clothing. “Head to track 8, sir.” The worker nods at him before continuing down the walkway. 

As Jisung ventures between the trains he keeps seeing Jiwoo’s face. One of the train’s horns blows, making him jump. Even as he boards the train and makes his way to his seat, he sees that face she made when he looked back. The sheer horror and disbelief. He clenches his fists against his legs. No. It’s what needed to happen. Getting married would have been no better. His lengthy sigh is only a facade of relaxation. He shuts his eyes and leans back.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Winter 2025

Being in a fresh place with fresh faces, it would be better for you. That was the plan, at least. This house is perfect. The architecture is gorgeous, everything you dreamed about. That didn’t change the fact that it was a reminder. Nothing about the soothing sound of the waves crashing against the shore eased the sting. You explain all of this to your psychologist.

“That makes sense to me. Of course you’d still feel that way.” says Dr. Ha Sooyoung, who was surprised but intrigued to hear you weren’t married or engaged. Usually people who live there either immediately settle down or hightail it out of there according to her. Her telling you this worried you, you wondered if she was unequipped to handle such a trainwreck. You were hilariously wrong. “Who should we start with today?” She looks up at you, smiling to prompt you to answer. You still hesitate, knowing she doesn’t frame it this way to embarrass you. It still does.

“J-Jisung.” You want to disappear as soon as his name leaves your mouth. You bite your lip to keep it from quivering. 

“Okay.” There is no hint of a foul disposition in her voice. She smiles pleasantly. “I noticed we don’t talk about Minho as much.”

You shake off your self-pity and nod. “I feel better about him, I think.”

“I think that was thanks to you. Your last words to him were very thoughtful and mature.” She gives you props, seeming genuinely impressed. You nod more emphatically. 

“I find that I mostly want to know if he’s doing alright. I know he’s out now, but I try not to overstep. I just… I really hope he isn’t blaming himself.” You undercut your worry with a dry laugh. You wince, wondering why you feel like you have to filter your emotions around her after all this time.

“From what I understand, Minho really cares about you. I don’t think it’s just contained to romance or labels. He saw you, a person, at your absolute lowest and didn’t like what he saw. You said that when you brought it up he didn’t like it, right?” You confirm, letting Sooyoung take you for a ride through her thought process. It used to make you nervous, always thinking she was going to call you a piece of shit. At least you know better now.

“I bet it’s because it was a hard thing for him to see and think about. But I can guarantee you coming into that visitation area and calmly letting him go helped immensely. He doesn’t have to worry if you’re okay anymore. I think it’s time you stop worrying as well.”

You settle into the plush armchair across from her, feeling wrapped in a blanket of serenity. You smile at Sooyoung, the blanket slipping once you remember something.

“Sooyoung, will you be honest with me?”

“Always. What is it?”

“If I go back to Jisung… would that be cruel to Minho?” You almost don’t want to look at her, but you do. You can tell by the look on her face that she isn’t going to sugar coat it.

“I’ll ask you a question. How would you describe the state of you and Minho’s relationship?”

You laugh unintentionally, catching yourself shortly after and covering your mouth. “I’d say that’s long over.” You express after calming.

“Well, it has been about two years so I think that’s a natural take away. I’d say you two are at the position where maybe each other’s decisions shouldn’t bother the other too much.”

You decide to sleep on that. The nightmare you have that night makes you think sleeping on it might’ve been a bad idea. Once you finally rip yourself from your unconscious you whip out your phone. You instinctively text her at this point, letting her know that at least this time you did manage to fall asleep.

Ha Sooyoung: That’s great to hear. Try to get some more rest, watch something that’ll make you feel better. Text me in the morning.

You’ve deduced that that’s her nice way of telling you to stop texting her at 2 am. You imagine that it’s times like this people would recommend a diary. You throw on a kdrama, yet another decision that ends up screwing you. The kdrama you chose was one about a wife who takes her husband for granted and ends up regretting it upon hearing about her declining health. Your brain rewards you with a hazy dream where you’re bedridden and completely paralyzed. Watching everyone in your life slip away. You force yourself awake once more and decide to start your day at 7 am.

Waking up early was never your thing. You have passed on many employment opportunities based on how early they wake you. So in theory you’d be pissed you were pulling yourself from the comfort of your bed to make breakfast. But Sooyoung has taught you the importance of positive thinking. You used to think that was bullshit that people who didn’t have problems claimed was life changing. You have noticed a difference, though. 

Even when a couple pieces of eggshell fall into the pan and you burn yourself trying to get it, it doesn’t get to you. You smile to yourself once you notice. You take time with your breakfast bagel, savoring it. You grimace once you find the shells, but it doesn’t make the sandwich taste worse. You sigh, enjoying the brief serenity despite knowing it was going to expire. The nightmares still haunt you. It’s as if your brain doesn’t realize they’re not real yet. You sit with them like Sooyoung would want you to. Is this your mind expressing that you’re regretful? Obviously you are, there’s nothing more you can do now. You’ve spoken to Minho and Jiwoo and said your piece. You were a little unstable when Jiwoo contacted you, but what you said was true. Dwelling on it is only going to make it worse.

You’re already alone, anyway.

The final piece that you swallow is far too big. It climbs slowly down your throat, hurting the entire way down. You beat at your chest as if it’ll help, clenching your face hard. 

Just a minor setback, you think as you pick out your outfit for work. You found a stunning boutique in Jeju-si at the end of last year. You originally planned to go there to shop but saw they were hiring. They don’t give you a dress code, so you grab your favorite shirt. It defaulted to your favorite after you sold most of your clothing for extra cash. It’s a baby blue cashmere sweater. The beaded neckline and buttons on each sleeve were aesthetically pleasing, but the thickness and quality fabric made it ideal for the cold weather. You immediately feel soothed as you smooth your hands down the soft fabric.

As you stride down the sidewalk, you can’t help feeling extra cozy in your coat and scarf. You enter the boutique with a genuine smile. The usual patrons were young couples, old couples, and half of a couple looking for a gift. This would be the first time since working here that you saw a group of women your age. They looked like they shopped here, in fact you think you recognize a couple of them. Their vibe screamed polished but ultra-feminine. As they coast from rack to rack you become a fly on the wall. You listen as close as you can, spectating their movements and chatter. For a moment you imagine yourself with them, laughing derisively at the thought.

When they finish they make their way to the front. You notice one of the women staring at your shirt. Suddenly self-conscious, you tug and pull at it as if your actions will make it imperceptible. 

“Your shirt…” The woman speaks, slightly taller than the others. After she gets her fill she switches her attention to your face, priming a question. You swallow hard, wishing you could teleport out of there.

“Where did you get it? It’s gorgeous!” The women around her make comments and noises in agreement. Suddenly shifting back to your previous content, you smile wide. 

“I–! Um… I believe it was Khaite?” Again you’re met with rousing praise. 

“How beautiful! I don’t mean to be weird, but can I feel? I heard Khaite is popular for their cashmeres.” The woman speaks again, one of her friends seconding the request. You shrug as if you’re not absolutely loving the attention. You extend both arms and the woman reaches out before retracting her hand. She looks at you apologetically. 

“I feel like I should introduce myself first. I’m Hyunjin,” she starts before pointing to each person around her, “this is Kahei, Gowon, Jinsoul, and Yerim.” They greet you as each of their names are called. You greet them back, offering your name despite not being prompted to. You feel desperate suddenly, like you’re being met with a prime opportunity. Hyunjin returns to your sweater, brushing her fingers against the fabric. Gowon joins in, both of them remarking on the quality in shock. You can’t help beaming. How could you when the only consistent interactions you have are ones you pay for or are being paid for. Also, you feel like you’re finally hitting it off with everyone who hated you in high school.

The girls brief you that– as long as you’re okay with it– they like to have their first meeting with a new friend at said friend’s place. You agree, making a mental note to storm through your house like the Tasmanian devil to get it spotless. You throw on the outfit you hurriedly picked out at your store before looking in your mirror. The dress itself is lovely, of course, but looking at it on you makes you sick. Looking at yourself at all in the mirror does. All you see is every moment of preparation to inflict pain on someone who did nothing but love you. You shake the thought away, ears perking up at the sound of knocking on the door.

You take a few deep breaths, hoping it will offset the nausea. You plaster on a brave face as you open the door. The girls greet you excitedly before admiring your home. Gowon especially, who enters the home a lot more enthusiastically than the others. In a feat you thought impossible, Gowon’s eyes get larger. 

“I can’t believe it! This is the house! Me and my husband were just looking at this before it was sold. What are the odds?”

“Really?” You remark, matching her disbelief. “That’s crazy. Shocking odds, I’m sure.” You and her laugh. Each girl twirls around to get a good look at the house and your pride hides a deeper emotion that you push down.

“Oh! Please, have a seat! Make yourselves at home.” You urge as you guide them to your living room.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Gowon wiggles her eyebrows at you, hinting at something else. You stare at her for a moment as it hits you. You’re not sure what you’re escaping from quite yet, but your mind shouts desperately that this is your way out.

As the women settle in you notice something. “Where are my manners? I didn’t even check if you guys were hungry. I’m not much of a cook but we could order something.” You say frantically as you wipe your sweaty palms off on your dress. The girls look at each other, some announcing that they’re not hungry and others that they could eat.

“Anything you guys have in mind?” You ask as you take out your phone.

“Hmmm, I’ve been craving Chinese.” Jinsoul offers. Your thumbs freeze over your phone. The other girls agree, even the ones who said they weren’t hungry. So you place everyone’s order including yours. The one that you had offhandedly mentioned to Jisung. The one that he had ready for you before you ran out. Once the food is delivered and is set out on your dining room table it really sets in. You know what Sooyoung told you, but that doesn’t make you feel any better at this moment. You can’t look back at that memory. Especially not with the regret you’re feeling.

“So anyway, tell us about yourself.” Kahei diverges from the conversation topic you weren’t paying attention to. The girls turn their attention accordingly, tuning in to the grand story they seem to be expecting. 

“Yeah… tell us why you look like you’re always whimsically reminiscing about your husband who’s lost at sea.” Hyunjin raises her eyebrows like she knows you know exactly what she’s talking about. You choke out a squawk of a laugh in shock.

“Wh… what?!” You shout with a tinge of fear. You subconsciously cross your arms over your chest to prevent from telling on yourself anymore. The girls break up about the entire display, falling over the counter. You can’t help but genuinely laugh yourself, and you actually know why it’s funny.

“No um,” you gather yourself, eyebrows tightening at the fact that you’re going to admit any part of this, “I just… I’ve been eyeing this house for a while. Alone.” You bail out despite tacking that on at the end and making yourself suspicious.

“So no husband lost at sea.” Hyunjin playfully confirms while pointing at you with narrowed eyes.

“No.” You quickly reply. You laugh nervously amongst the sea of genuine giggles, eyeing everyone to monitor what else you might’ve let on.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“On saturday, he ate through one piece of chocolate cake–” Heejin freezes when someone knocks on the door. She looks at Mihee excitedly, causing Mihee to gasp. “I wonder who that is!”

Heejin grunts as she raises Mihee off her lap and sets her on the ground. She hurries to the door, opening it to confirm that both of her suspicions are correct. There he is, his hands too full to turn the doorknob. 

“Ji-Ji!!” Mihee exclaims as she runs to him. Jisung laughs awkwardly as she hugs his waist.

“Hello.”

Heejin rolls her eyes at the awkward display before prying Mihee off him. “Alright, go sit back down and wait for mommy.”

“Did you bring ice cream?” Mihee asks, already whining. 

“Hey! What did I tell you about asking him for things when I already said no?” Heejin maintains her firmness despite her daughter’s pouting. “Go sit by the couch, come on.” 

Jisung watches in awe as Heejin guides her daughter back to the floor by the couch. She never seems too harsh or too soft when it comes to Mihee. It’s like she always knows exactly what to say and what to do. He imagines Jiwoo would be the same as a mother. Maybe parenting that good comes with being a good person. 

He sets the groceries on the counter, releasing his grasp on them slowly as something distracts him. He moves to the stove, shocked by how shiny it looks suddenly.

“I cleaned it.” Heejin says from right behind him. He jolts and turns to face her. His shock morphs to slight disappointment. 

“I told you I’d handle that when I got home.”

“And I told you you didn’t have to. Wasn’t cleaning the rest of the house enough?” She asks rhetorically as she starts putting away the groceries. He just closes his mouth, knowing he’s not going to stop her. If it was up to him, she wouldn’t have to worry about anything but taking care of her daughter. It’s the least he could do.

Summer 2024

If he just focuses on one task it’ll be less overwhelming. He needs a new ID. For a new ID, he needs proof of address. For proof of address, he needs to find a place to live instead of couchsurfing. To find a place to live to acquire important documents, the landlords require said documents. He clenches his steering wheel, waiting for a hit. He stares at the app as if one will come faster.

A knock on his window scares him. He looks at the owner of the restaurant who’s parking lot he’s in.

“I told you you can’t sleep here!”

Exasperated, Jisung rolls down his window. “I’m not! I’m just–”

“Get out of here before I call the police!”

Jisung grits at the owner as they walk away before starting his engine. Maybe driving around will help him find someone. Surely enough, the rideshare app rings out. He hurriedly accepts the request, stabilizing his poorly hoisted up phone.

When he pulls up, a woman and man stumble in. He eyes them in the mirror, knowing just by the look of them that they aren’t going to tip. He begrudgingly starts the engine.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung drives aimlessly through the city as if something will just jump out at him. He can’t find a couch to sleep on tonight and his eyelids are getting heavy. He pulls into the first parking lot he sees. He’ll just get a little shut eye while the parking lot’s still full. It’s either that or causing a car accident. He wakes up to a stiff back and the sun in his eyes. He blinks away the burning sensation, catching a glimpse of someone unlocking the building he’s parked out front of. They glance in his direction and Jisung prepares to be shouted at. However, the older man just smiles stiffly and waves at him. Jisung hesitantly waves back. He checks his phone to see what time it is. The cheap screen is useless in even the smallest amount of sun so he cups his hand above it. 12:33 pm.

He steps out of his car, stretching until all the joints that locked up were sufficiently popped. He happens to catch a glimpse of the sign when he cracks open his eyelids. He’s parked outside of a bar, and judging by the owner flipping the sign, one that opens relatively early. Curious, he steps into the establishment. It has the stereotypical pool table, the bar, and a few places to sit and eat. It has that cozy, rustic feel that most modern bars try to replicate. Jisung hesitantly sits at the bar.

“Um, thank you.” Jisung says sheepishly. The owner cocks an eyebrow at him.

“What? You sleeping out there? You’re not bothering me. Just don’t park in my spot.” His bluntness makes Jisung reconsider his approach. “Can I help you?” He’s mixing a little impatience in now and Jisung immediately takes the hint.

“S-somaek. Please. Sir.”

The man grunts before grabbing a bottle and a can from under the bar. He slides both to him. “Nine dollars.”

“Oh sir, I don’t plan on drinking this whole thing. Can I just have a glass–”

“Nine dollars.”

Jisung sits for a moment, wondering if he should leave and never come back. Then he’d risk losing a solid place to sleep. Jisung presents his card to which the man presents a small Square terminal. He takes his drinks and a glass to a table in the corner of the bar. One bottle and can turn to three by the time patrons come and go. He finds himself comforted by the chaotic environment. As he gains more of a buzz he feels himself levitating. He sees you as his eyes flutter closed.

Day and night he spends his time at the bar. The owner seems less annoyed now that he’s a paying regular. People come and go, clouding his brain satisfyingly with the noise. Some even bump into him, apologizing despite his indifference. Fall comes as his health declines. For once the owner protests his presence, complaining about the smell. He physically kicks Jisung out, sending him tumbling out the door. 

“Fuck you, I don’t care about you anyway.” Jisung mumbles an incoherent slosh of words as he kicks at the ground. The action sends him tumbling back to the ground. 

“You okay?” Jisung looks up after being questioned by a gruff male voice. Above him he only sees you. It’s a confusing, inconsistent mess of what he still remembers, but it’s enough for him to act on it. He stands up shakily, clenching your shoulders that don’t feel like your shoulders. He calls out your name.

“I’ve been looking for you, I came here for you!” He says happily. You shake him off, remarking to someone behind you that he’s “totally out of it”. You and your friends leave and he shambles after you. He miscalculates his steps and falls especially hard. He cradles his knee, rolling around on the floor. It’s okay, he can still sleep here. He still has a place to sleep. He opens his back door and splays out onto the seats, his feet dangling out of the car. With his face squished against the seats he calls out to you again.

“Come find me...”

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung groans when he feels his body move. His head is pounding and he can see the sunlight through his eyelids. He groans again, this one more akin to a whine. He notices his body is still moving around. Then he feels a hand that’s not his patting against his upper leg. He jolts upright, the action sending a bolt of blinding pain through his brain. When his vision finally focuses, he sees two men rummaging around in his car. One leaning over the driver’s seat and carding through his center console and the other right beside him, reaching for the floor. Jisung shouts out in shock. The man in the front looks over at him, cursing before retreating out the door and slamming it. While he’s staring at him, he notices the other is especially close. He turns to see him closing in on Jisung. He screams in horror and shields his face. The man reaches past him and grabs his duffle bag before fleeing. That doesn’t stop Jisung from flashing back to his assault, trembling as he slips out of the backseat and scrambles into the front. He drops his keys, reaching for them urgently before shoving them into the ignition. He glances at the suspicious onlookers keeping a watchful eye on him. He floors it, swinging haphazardly out of the parking lot. All their faces are vivid in his mind as he speeds down the street.

Images of Minho’s enraged eyes as he pummeled Jisung distract him. Cars honk as they pass his swerving vehicle. He eventually decides to park near a bus stop, slipping from his car and staggering onto the sidewalk. The first thing his eyes catch when he looks up is a sign on a utility pole.

“Single mother looking for a roommate.You’ll have access to the living room futon and all the amenities. $50 a month. Contact me at xxx-3894 or come to the Bayview apartments and ask for Heejin.”

Jisung laughs at himself. Just his luck that he’d see this when he needed it the most. It’s like someone is playing a cruel joke, daring him to nearly get killed again. He takes it as a challenge, gritting his teeth. ‘I’m not afraid to die’, he thinks as he hops back into his car. A piece of shit like him should be able to handle at least this much. Pain throbs right behind his eyes as he types the apartment name into his phone. He has tunnel vision the entire trip there, strutting through the doors and immediately losing his confidence. A burly man sits behind the counter. 

“Yes?”

Jisung is met with that familiar impatience.

“There was an ad for a roommate…” Jisung finds it hard to think after months of letting his brain rot.

“You’re looking for Heejin.” He states as if to remind him. Jisung nods, swallowing when he notices his mouth feels like cotton. The man moves from behind the desk. “Alright, hands up.” He says as he approaches Jisung. Jisung stammers and looks at him in confusion, leading to the man raising his arms for him. Oh god, he was actually going to die. He feels tears prickle his eyes, anger and frustration filling him at the sensation. Why did he even care? It’s not like he deserved to live. The man pats him down before giving Jisung a hardy “Alright”.

Jisung looks up at him expectantly. 

“Third floor, room 308.”

As he exited the elevator, Jisung kept thinking of every horror movie he’s ever seen where they lure some idiot into a secluded area and torture him for their amusement. He watches as insects crawl out from tears in the yellowed wallpaper. Everything is screaming at him to turn around but for what? So he can find another bar to drink himself into an early grave? Is life the way it is so worth living that he should fear dying? Despite that, his fist shakes as he raises it toward the door. He grits his teeth so hard he feels like they’ll crack under the pressure. He lowers his hand, cursing himself for his cowardice.

The door opens anyway and he flinches before looking up. Before him is a woman around his age with short hair, carrying a toddler. The toddler is crying loudly and the mother looks very disheveled. Not as much as him, but still enough for it to be noticeable.

“Please! Come in!” She sounds friendly despite her clear exhaustion.

He doesn’t know what would’ve happened to him if he didn’t find her and Mihee that day. She insisted on the low price to stay there. If only she knew who she was being so gracious to.

Heejin stumbles across a small container of ice cream and scoffs. She presents it to him, her cocked eyebrow suggesting she already has an idea why it’s there, but is still asking for an explanation. Only the beginning of a sound leaves Jisung before he’s huffing through his nose in defeat. 

“Could you give it to her? I don’t know… like if she does something good? Say it was a surprise from you.” Jisung supplies to a disinterested Heejin. 

“You’re just like my mother! What’s the point of being firm and putting my foot down if all she learns is to ask the right person?!” Heejin rants, exasperated as she tosses the ice cream back into the bag.

“I know, you’re right. I just couldn’t help it. You can have it. Eat it after she falls asleep or something.” Jisung falls even deeper into defeat as he sighs and closes his eyes. Heejin examines him quietly.

“No.” Jisung opens his eyes for clarification, only to be met with Heejin’s annoyed exhaustion. “You’re going to give it to her after she follows my instructions without talking back. You’re going to tell her that’s why she can have it, and to not ask for things I’ve already said no to anymore.” Heejin reaches for the ice cream again and shoves it into Jisung’s chest. He clutches it as she continues. 

“Maybe she’ll listen if you say it.” Judging by the look on her face, she means exactly what’s implied. Jisung’s brain churns with turmoil. That little girl shouldn’t get used to trusting someone like him. He’s trying his best to minimize his interactions with her but it’s impossible. 

“That is a good idea actually. You’re so good at stuff like that.” Jisung says sheepishly. 

“And maybe this way you can practice interacting with her without treating her like an active grenade.”

Her words shock a strangled noise out of Jisung. “Like a what?!”

“Don’t play dumb with me. Every time she hugs you your arms hover in the air like a confused bird. And don’t even get me started on the way you talk to her. Kids are easy to talk to if you try.” The more Jisung stammers defensively the more potent her knowing look gets.

“Fine,” Jisung huffs, “ but it’s not easy. Maybe this stuff comes easily to people like you.”

“People like who? Parents? You know anyone can become a parent, right? You don’t magically become a child whisperer as soon as you become one. And please don’t tell me it’s because I’m a woman–”

“No!” Jisung protests loudly, slightly annoyed at her assumption. “It’s just… some people are born to help. Others are born to hurt.”

Heejin watches in awe as Jisung stews in palpable self disgust.

“Do you think I assume Mihee teleports into her bed after we doze off on the couch?” Is what Heejin settles on to summarize her thoughts. She doesn’t even let him respond, just leaving him to put the rest of the groceries away like she knows he wants her to.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Book club, pilates, mani/pedis, brunch. These are things you only heard of people doing. Mostly from girls in school and after school who would give you a dirty look if you showed interest. Now you were doing all of it with girls who looked just like them. They didn’t even have to tell you about their extensive morning and night routines. You don’t get skin and hair that flawless without hard work. 

“How about you?” Hyunjin says after calling your name. While you were admiring their perfect grooming they must have been talking about their personal lives again. You guess that because they’ve been trying to get you to open up about yours. Not many people move here without having family here or leaving soon after. It’s only natural that they’re curious. 

“What about me?” You frame it as you being humble, as if there’s nothing much to say. Meanwhile you actually didn’t hear her. 

“Oh come on. There has to be some interesting story there.” Hyunjin urges, playfully suspicious of your mysterious backstory. You wonder for a moment if you should tell them your current house is one you fantasized about moving to with your ex. That would give them something juicy to chew on for months. But then you���d be framing yourself as a heartbroken damsel, not a homewrecking monster. And you’re definitely not ready to tell the truth.

“I always thought Jeju was beautiful, and I couldn’t pass up such a beautiful home.” You explain, the girls nodding in agreement. Especially Gowon, and you know exactly what she’s going to say. 

“I’m just saying! Let me know if you ever decide to sell that puppy.” She raises her eyebrows at you as if she’s tempting you. She is. You give her a smile, hoping it comes across that you’re considering it. You’ve never been to a country club so you take the time to look around. The architecture is beautiful, you expect nothing less for such an affluent part of town. The warm browns of the wooden floors and paneled ceiling as well as the beige walls give it a very cozy feeling. The slant to the ceiling, however, gives it a modern edge. Being this far up, the windows offer a gorgeous view of the skyline and the ocean.

The country club isn't the only mainstay of the group. Hyunjin’s house was as well. You were well acquainted with her son, Seojun. He was a fresh toddler, exemplified by the turbulent wobble in his stride. Her husband, Jeongin, is someone you’re not as acquainted with. He seemed charismatic and has great bone structure. You could tell immediately that Hyunjin was in good hands. Initially, that is.

Hyunjin’s long hair tucked back by a thick, white headband with the exception of her straight across bangs exemplified her preppy look. It’s why you thought the two paired perfectly together. Jeongin is one sweater tied around his shoulders away from looking like a stereotypical man from the 50s. His perfectly styled hair made him resemble Ken, a perfect to match for his Barbie. This is the exact thought process when he stepped into the kitchen where you were straggling behind, cleaning your glass. You smile at him, it comes naturally as his uncanny resemblance to the doll amuses you. 

“What brings you to this town?” He asks, seemingly bewildered by your choice. You sigh, almost complaining about answering this question so many times, but the smile still on your face doesn’t lie. This is the least problematic problem to have. 

“It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it?” You remark wistfully. Jeongin agrees, exaggerating each step he takes closer to you. 

“It’s a pretty empty place. You get to know everyone, settle down, and then boom!” You nearly drop your glass upon discovering he’s right next to you. So close he’s pressing against you. “Someone drop-dead-gorgeous moves to town.” He looks at you pointedly, his eyes dipping lower causing you to actually drop the glass, the pieces flying all over the sink basin.

“Woah! Be careful doll.” He reaches for your hand but you jerk it away. He looks at you, offended. You return the look right back. 

“What did you say?” You mean the question literally, to double check what you heard, and as a way to encourage some critical thinking. You barely know this man. Hyunjin was one of the first genuine friends you met here who pulled you out of your rut. 

“Geez. Don’t be so serious. I was just kidding!” He throws his hands up, surrendering from your grilling. Kahei rushes in and he flees just as fast.

“Are you okay?” She looks over the sink and then at your hands that are shaking. You nod dumbly. “Are you okay?” She asks again, skeptical of your previous answer.

“Jeongin just flirted with me.” You find the words flying from you before you can control it, disbelief coating them. Kahei looks at you sympathetically before rubbing your back. 

“Yeah… you just gotta ignore him when he does that.”

You look up at Kahei, not sure whether the shock, confusion, or indignation was showing on your face. So many emotions and thoughts flow through you that end up voicing one aloud. 

“A-are you guys sleeping with him?”

Kahei backs up from you, her looking affronted this time. “Excuse me?!”

“I-I’m sorry! That came out wrong, I didn’t–”

“If anyone did that, or does that in the future,” the pointed look she gives you feels like a searing hot iron branding your flesh, “they should be ashamed of themselves.” Her voice laps at you as she shoots you a sharp glare. She leaves shortly after, leaving you to grapple alone. As you walk out of the kitchen, completely forgetting about the shards of glass you left in the sink, everything around you is muffled and blurry. Hyunjin asks you something but your eyes are trained on the ground. What have you done?

Hyunjin shouts your name and jolts you to reality against your will. You look at all the married women before you. All married except you. You look at Kahei who is still staring daggers into you. If she told Hyunjin, that would be it. You’re the only bachelorette there and Kahei is her best friend of many years. Of course she’d see you as the scheming harlot there to steal all their husbands. The worst part was that you had to seriously consider if you did flirt back. You know deep down that you didn’t, but you keep replaying the interaction to see if maybe you made a face and led him on.

“I-I have to go.” You gather your things as the girls protest. As soon as you breach the doorway, tears pour down your face. You cover your mouth to contain the sob that spills from you. You walk as far as you can but barely make it to the bus stop before you fully break down. You turn away from the onlookers as the sobs rattle you. Of course this didn’t work out. Why would it?

The girls message you in the group chat and privately as an attempt to get through. You don’t even get your hopes up. They probably just miss gathering at your beautiful home. They can have it. You can’t take it anymore. You text Gowon and let her know you’re accepting her offer.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Other than smelling like the sea and his hands being numb from the cold, Jisung can’t complain about being a fisherman. He could focus on his thoughts since his coworkers didn’t speak to him much. Everyone just minded their own business and got the job done. Jisung pulls the buoy line up from the water, coiling the line right by his feet. His supervisor gives him a pat on his shoulder, signaling that this is the last thing he needs to do before he clocks out. Jisung just nods, appreciative that no one tries to yell over the noise of the wind and the boat. They just communicate with gestures and nods. 

As soon as Jisung walks through the door he’s only thinking of a hot shower.

“Ji-Ji!” 

But immediately upon hearing Mihee’s voice, his stress alleviates slightly. He gives her a soft smile, dropping it when she runs up for a hug. He stops her with a cautionary “woah”.

“S-sorry Mihee. Ji-Ji stinks.” He defaults back to that stupid awkward laugh. She frowns and walks back to where her mother emerges. 

“Still.” She doesn’t even frame it as a question, knowing the answer from his bird arms. He hurriedly drops them once he realizes. She shrugs.

“You’ll get there.”

“You don’t know that.” Jisung corrects immediately. “You don’t know me.” His words offer a challenge. In a few seconds, Jisung can make her regret putting faith in him. Possibly regret ever letting him into her house. Jisung attempts to swallow the lump that forms in his throat.

Heejin picks up on that same look from when they were putting away groceries. She breathes a laugh. “Unless you’re some sort of axe murderer or child predator, I promise you I’m not worried about you being around Mihee.”

The confidence in her voice unnerves him. The back of his mind screams at him to tell her because she deserves to know. 

“I cheated on my��� ex-fiancee multiple times with the same woman. I even got off on the fact that it would crush her if she found out. I urged her to go on a trip with her friends when she just wanted to stay with me, all so I could invite over the other woman. She even called me during the trip because she missed me so much but I told her to stay. While I was inside someone else for a whole month she thought I was looking out for her wellbeing, I was actively destroying it for pleasure. The kicker is that she wasn’t even my fiancee yet. I let her propose to me, plan the wedding, fantasize about our future, and even walk down the aisle while I was thinking of the very same woman I moved to Jeju for.” Jisung pours his heart as if he was begging Heejin to vilify him. His eyes are pleading her, but not the same way his words do. He can tell that he’s letting it bleed through that he doesn’t want what he’s asking for. He shakes it away and continues.

“Jisung.”

“I left her at the altar. I embarrassed her in front of both our families on a day that was supposed to be the best day of her life. I just disappeared.”

“Jisung–”

“She screamed out for me–”

“Jisung!” Heejin snaps insistently, finally stopping his never-ending confessional. She huffs, seeming to prepare herself for something.

“You know, I gave birth to Mihee after finally breaking up with my husband. We fought all the time during my pregnancy, to the point where I thought the stress might harm Mihee. You can’t really blame my ex, though. He had sustained an injury from his job and his doctor suggested he abstain from any strenuous activity. It was so serious he wasn’t allowed to have sex for months.” She stresses the word as if to mock her younger, impatient self. It dawns on Jisung slowly but surely. His eyes don’t widen because he’s shocked by what she did, but that she did them.

“You could understand his anger now when he realized he wasn’t seeing things and there was– in fact– a baby bump protruding from his loving wife. Even worse is when she tried to gaslight him. Telling him she was just bloated and was seeing a doctor about it. Then the bump got larger, and he saw a tiny foot distend the skin of her stomach. I think what baffles me the most looking back was that I was so angry at him. So angry that I fought him in court for custody of the baby I wasn’t even sure I wanted. Well I won that fight thanks to the prejudice of the judge. He gave me a stern look and lectured me like he was my father, saying that now I had to stop screwing around and live the destined life of a woman. The entire trial my lawyer and the judge boasted about how amazing it would be for a child to have a parent who had a natural impulse to nurture. But I didn’t. My ex knew that, which is why he fought. After the verdict I didn’t hear from him for a few days. I was panicking every time Mihee cried, wondering why the nurturing instinct I was supposed to have wasn’t kicking in. Then he called me and I was so relieved, ready to do whatever it took to get rid of Mihee. But he absolutely let me have it. Said he was an idiot for trying to remain tethered to me in any way, that losing custody was like dodging a bullet. There was genuine relief and joy in his voice.” Heejin reminisces sarcastically, topping it off with a theatrical, wistful sigh. She gives him an emphatic look, like she was encouraging him to continue his confessions. Jisung looks lost and confused. 

“Heejin… you’re a great mother…” He says as if trying to rationalize what he just heard.

“Exactly!” She says excitedly, pointing at him. Jisung shakes his head as her point fails to compute. “I didn’t even know what to do after that. I was heartbroken, because despite my poor decisions and us getting married at eighteen like so many idiots from our hometown, I did love him. The guilt was strong. So strong that I couldn’t tell if the depression was from postpartum or the guilt. Then Mihee cried again one night and it just… clicked. I can’t do right by my ex-husband, but I could do right by her.” The hidden bitterness and pain finally surface as her lip quivers. She shakes her head and looks at the floor. She laughs before looking up again, a tear slipping from her eye. 

“Thanks a lot, Jisung.” She says playfully, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry. Hug my daughter back, asshole.” She slaps the back of his head before retreating into her daughter’s room. Jisung stares at the closed door with the most pitiful feeling of hope curdling in his stomach.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Kahei Hey.

Kahei We’re going to meet at the country club cafe. We were hoping you would come.

They must really like this house, you think, laughing derisively at your own joke. You chew on your lip after the humor of your distraction dries up. Did they tell Hyunjin? Is this some sort of intervention or group confrontation? You want to employ the healthy thought exercises you’ve learned but you keep replaying that moment after you walked out of the kitchen. The face that Kahei made inspired no confidence that you were going to be forgiven. You want to just sell the house to Gowon privately and high tail it out of there. You weren’t sure where you were going to go yet but you had to go somewhere.

You release a lengthy sigh, knowing where you needed to go.

“I think selling the house is a good idea.” Sooyoung informs you, her voice plain like it always is. Nothing for you to cling onto or stretch out of proportion. 

“Really?” 

Sooyoung lets a little amusement at your shock slip but nods through it. “I’d say you’ve been there long enough to know whether or not it’s a net positive or net negative. If it’s pulling you down, cut it off. Makes sense, right?”

“Yeah.” You’re surprised by how simple that was. “Huh.” You express, slightly satisfied. Slightly.

“So. Is there anything else you wanted to chat about today?” Now is when Sooyoung hints at an ulterior motive. You guys have been talking for long enough that she knows when you’re hiding something and that she can safely call you out on it. You could play stupid or delay your response, but that’s only drawing out the inevitable. You’re paying to be here, dammit. You grit and bear it, catching Sooyoung up with your split from the group.

“Did you flirt with Jeongin?” Sooyoung says the quiet part out loud and it catches you off guard. There’s an attentive look in her eyes that illustrates clearly that you have nothing to be worried about. The answer comes surprisingly easy despite the gargantuan unease tearing your stomach apart. 

“No, but–”

“Then you didn’t do it.” Sooyoung interrupts you for the first time in any of your meetings. She releases a hefty breath in relief before continuing. “I’m sorry I sprung that question on you like that, but I had a good feeling you didn’t do it. I promise I wouldn’t have asked you that in an accusing way. But you see now why you shouldn’t be worried.”

“I… I’m just– I feel sorry for Hyunjin, okay?!” You stress not only to her but to people not present in the room. 

“That’s very clear in my eyes. You may not have told Hyunjin what was going on, but you didn’t smile in her face knowing what was happening behind the scenes. If you have any fears that you’re walking into a confrontation of any sort, don’t. You should be the only person entering that cafe without a guilty conscience. And why is that?” This meeting with your psychologist turned into a pep talk suddenly. You feel slightly overwhelmed but you push through it.

“Because… I never deceived Hyunjin or purposely hid things from her.”

“That’s exactly right! You don’t need to go, especially if it will cause unnecessary stress and turmoil. But I think this is a good opportunity to stick up for yourself. And it may even be an opportunity to get your friend group back.”

You shoot her a confused look that makes her laugh.

“I don’t think it’s too late to mend things. If they’re really your friends, they’ll be able to handle you setting the record straight without getting offended. Plus, didn’t you say you enjoyed hanging out with them?”

“I really enjoyed it. It was like I was in a Hallmark movie.” You admit dreamily and partially in humiliation. Sooyoung laughs again and this time you join her. She stops for a moment and gives you a pointed, passionate look.

“You deserve happiness.”

That sentiment and the look in her eyes strikes something in you. You swallow hard, attempting to push down the large lump crawling up your throat. Your lips tremble and you look to the ground. You want to believe her. Every time you walk into this room, you want to believe her. You know it’s not going to be that easy, but damn it feels good to have someone rooting for you.

Through a tightened throat, you look up and thank Sooyoung.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung’s supervisor pats him on the shoulder as he pulls on his coverall over his clothes. He looks over at him for clarity on the strangely-timed gesture. His supervisor clears his throat but it’s still gravelly beyond belief.

“We’ll be headed over to a well-off area to fulfill a large order today. The people there are spooked easily, so the customer warned us to not trail off too far if we dock.” He pats Jisung again as if to punctuate his sentence. Jisung nods as if he wasn’t already staring at the older man’s back. Jisung had forgotten what he said as fast as he said it. He doesn’t wander far from the harbor anyway.

As Jisung casts the buoy line, he looks out at the view. He can already tell they’ve arrived by the architecture and tourist-friendly attractions. Namely the pleasantly designed walls to welcome incoming boats. He has to guess what each cute little shop and building is, being this far away. Eventually they sail toward a residential area. His hands freeze and loosen on the rope, causing a chunk of it to zip straight into the water. Someone yelling his name only slightly alerts him. He drops the rope and they continue to yell. The crashing waves drown them out and alert Jisung to how bad his idea is. 

Jisung looks from the water to the houses again and spots it. The rock pattern around the edge of the property is identical. The dark wood and gray bricks, the distant twinkle of fairy lights, how it looks in the snow. In a split second he goes from stepping up onto the bow of the boat to hitting the ice cold water. His body immediately tenses up from the cold but he pushes through it. His hands slice through the turbulent water as he swims like his life depends on it. Halfway there, the majority of his body is numb to the point that he can only tell his body is following his brain’s command to swim because he can see himself closing in.

He reaches for a pile of rocks leading up to the edge of your house and clenches onto one. Feeling nothing from the numbness, he slips off from it. He tries again, gritting and yelling as he pushes through the pain. He clenches onto each rock as he painfully pulls his body up. By the time his hand slaps down on the wall surrounding your yard his fingers feel like they will pop off. He eventually drapes himself over the wall, falling over onto your snow-covered grass. He grunts desperately as he pulls himself up, shambling toward the house. He walks past the window, the one he saw so vividly in his dream. He sees the fireplace that matches the listing and his dream. He stares at it as his body feels like it’s chilling to rigidity. He finally pulls himself away at no sign of you. He knocks on the door, each strike feeling like it’s crushing his bones. He doesn’t know if he’s crying from the excruciating pain or from the anticipation of finally seeing you but it pours out of him. He sobs until drool drips from his numb lips.

A woman with large eyes opens the door before hiding behind her husband.

“Hey pal, what’re you doing here?!” The man booms. Jisung’s brain pounds behind his skull and his heartbeat slows. His head lolls over his shoulders and his eyes flutter close just before the world tilts.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“Mr. Han? Can you hear me, Mr. Han?”

Oh no… he’s having a nightmare. But why about this? The last thing he needs is to be back here. He hears a woman’s voice he expects to be Jiwoo panicking, but he doesn’t recognize it. Who the hell is that?

“Oh dear god. Is he going to die??” The woman asks urgently.

“No honey, they said he’ll be alright.”

Jisung blinks his eyes open, all of his senses overwhelmed by the sudden realization that he’s conscious. The relief he feels that he’s not stuck in a nightmare is brief. The bright lights above him and the feeling of the stiff mattress beneath him brings back all the emotions from being hospitalized for his concussion.

“Where are my things?” Jisung asks weakly.

“Thank god!” He looks over to see the large-eyed woman from the house sighing in relief. The house he thought was yours. He really did move here for no reason…

“They’re here in this bag, but I highly recommend you stay for another day–”

Jisung swipes the bag from the doctor’s hand and leaps from the bed. From the taxi ride home to the freezing walk up to his apartment, many people try to get his attention. The driver asks him if he’s okay, passersby ask if they should call for help, the burly man at the front desk of the complex hurls many bewildered questions at him. They all watch him walk by emotionlessly, bare feet padding on the snow, concrete, dirty carpet. When the elevator dings looks out into the empty hallway with beads of tears hanging over his bottom lids. He pads out onto the poorly adhered sheet of matted carpet down to his apartment. 

Heejin hears the door open and Mihee yell “Ji-Ji!” so she doesn’t feel the need to turn away from the stove.

“Hey Jisung, could you do me a big favor and help me clean the kitchen after this? Dinner’s almost ready.” She carefully starts to roll the egg. Jisung hasn’t answered but she needs complete concentration to do this.

“I know you’ll offer to do the whole thing yourself but…” She laughs, her smile fading slightly once she realizes Mihee is quiet as well. She swiftly kills the fire and flips around. The scene she witnesses makes her cover her mouth. Mihee nuzzles into Jisung’s shoulder as he holds her even tighter in his arms. Her tiny legs wrap around him as best as they can. They both soak up the long awaited hug in silence.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“I did all of this to myself.” Jisung admits weakly after explaining everything (including why he’s in a hospital gown) to Heejin. They both slouch on the couch, full from the food and exhausted from the day. Heejin looks over at him, the beer in his hand mirroring hers.

“So then it’ll be all the more satisfying when you fix it yourself.” She offers.

“Fix it how.” He laughs derisively. “In an attempt to lessen my ex’s pain, I probably tripled it. And the person I hurt her for is nowhere to be found.” He states the obvious in hopes she will understand his predicament.

“Are those the only aspects to your life?” Heejin asks carefully. “You’re suspended, but you said you liked your job, right?”

Jisung groans, very aware of where this is going.

“And you care about Mihee.” She adds with a more serious tone to her voice. “And she really loves you. You better not let down my baby girl.” She scolds. Jisung nods obediently, knowing she’s not joking at all. She sighs and rests her head on the back of the couch. 

“It takes time. It’s going to be lonely. It’s been three years since Mihee was born and I've only just made friends. Speaking of which, you should come with me.” She looks over at him, pleading with him to hear her out despite the look on his face.

“Some of them are young mothers just like me, which is exciting!”

“And why you should go alone. I’ll look after Mihee here.” Jisung brushes her off.

“No! They invited me to this crazy nice place, you might love it! There will be other things to do there and we’ll get in for free!”

Jisung groans and melts back onto the couch.

“When is it.” He asks regrettably, making Heejin squeal.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

You readjust your bag and coat for the eightieth time outside the doors. You have to go in there like you mean business. Express that you don’t take back what you did, but you really would like to be friends again if they’re up to it. You sigh through your peaking anxiety. How the fuck were you going to balance that tone? You’re not a politician. You inhale sharply before pushing the doors open.

“Over here!” Kahei immediately yells for you. You look over to see her beckoning you over and the other girls waving. You walk over to get a closer look and to confirm what you initially observed. Hyunjin is nowhere to be seen.

“What…” All of the worst case scenarios swirl through your mind as you look between them. Should you even be here?

“Please, sit.” Kahei asks tenderly. The slightly melancholic air to the room suddenly makes your stomach drop. You sit nonetheless, because the unknown is frustrating. 

“Hyunjin hasn’t officially left the friend group, let’s just get that out of the way.” Gowon points out with both her hands lowered to the table. Kahei confirms before looking back to you. She says your name empathetically before laying her hand over yours. You feel like throwing up. 

“We all told Hyunjin about Jeongin,” Kahei starts and you swear the room is turning slightly, “that he flirted with all of us. We should’ve done this a long time ago. It is truly shameful that it took someone who hasn’t even known Hyunjin that long for us to realize how wrong we were. That shows just how much you care, and Hyunjin wanted us to thank you for her.”

You untense your shoulder and finally fully settle into your chair. “So, she’s just taking a break, or–” You ask as you look between them.

“Yes.” Gowon interjects. “And rightfully so, she’s probably processing a lot right now.” The others nod. You start nodding too, failing to stop the tears from streaming down your cheeks.

“She is. She really is.” You blubber through your tears. The girls coo, standing to come over and wrap their arms around you. You hide your face, correctly anticipating that your cries were about to get ugly. Their embraces feel so healing, though. Each pat and rub to your back and arms soothes you. You recover as quickly as you can, grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table and dabbing away your tears. You sniffle, looking at all of them gratefully. The overwhelming urge to apologize is consuming you but you fight it.

“I’m really happy to be back.” You beam.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“I guess it does look nice.” Jisung admits with a small smile. Heejin says a small “See?” before entering the building. He doesn’t even notice her and Mihee being long gone as he takes in the huge building. Once he does he gasps and scrambles to follow them. He looks around at the architecture. The slanted ceiling is a really cool addition, he thinks. He hears someone call out Heejin’s name and his attention lags behind again. A cafe in a country club… Heejin just made some rich friends it seems. He looks over finally at said rich friends.

Jisung can faintly hear one of them tell Heejin that she’s right on time. Each of them take turns shaking her hand and greeting her. Including a hallucination. She looks like you, she sounds like you, she gives a name that matches yours. She’s looking at him. You’re approaching him. He panics and runs back out of the doors. He breathes heavily, trying to stop his heart from exploding. He rests his hands over it as his breaths become louder, until they transition into soft cries. 

“Jisung?!” You say, moving closer to him. He looks up at you with intense, watery eyes and you back up suddenly.”J-Jisung, are you okay?” You ask with a heaviness he can’t quite grasp. You look like you’ll cry with him. Through your anguished joy at seeing him, you look great. You look healthy, well dressed and groomed. You’ve been here for less time than Heejin but you’re already shacked up with a group of rich friends. You’re thriving.

“I-I don’t even know where to start…” You say, confused at his intense stare. Jisung does.

“Were you in Incheon?” He hisses, straightening up to look you in the eyes. You’re shocked by the accusation laced within his words.

“Minho was in jail and I felt responsible. He did this because of me, I had to apologize–”

“I was the victim!” Jisung shouts against his better judgment. Hurt flashes on your face split second but he can’t stop. So many thoughts flip through his brain and he doesn’t think through any one of them. Your confusion doubles by this point.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

“I got a concussion and hypothermia– f-fuck I’ve lost my goddamn mind looking for you!” He explains, desperate, angry, and crazed. Sadness overtakes him as he continues. “But none of that is even close to the emotional turmoil I went through without you. I know you don’t care about me– your own words– but do you not care about what you did to Minho?” He asks moronically. The words leave him and he immediately wants to apologize and beg for your forgiveness. But that want is far too distant. His anger is so close.

“Excuse me?!” You finally match his volume.

“If you did and it was still tearing you up, did you go and solve it on your own? With some other asshole while I suffered alone? You were the only thing that kept me sane and you left! You knew me and Jiwoo weren’t going to work out, why… why didn’t you wait?!” He pleads, flinching at the quick laugh you let out. A glossy sheen slowly envelops your eyes as you shake your head at him.

“Wait for what, Jisung?”

“Don’t act like you don’t remember.” Jisung closes in on you, lowering his volume but not his intensity. “We were the only ones who understood each other. The only people we could turn to and you–”

“It’s time to move past that, Jisung.”

Your unexpected answer, delivered in a delicate whisper, stomped out all the drive and anger he had. “Wh-what–”

“We’ve paid for what we did. It’s evident by all the burnt bridges from our past. Why we’re both here, miles away. I can’t keep relying on excuses for my behavior.” The twinkle of pain in his eyes softens you. For the first time in two years, you see Jisung. You can’t help reaching up and cupping both his cheeks. He huffs, more tears pouring from his eyes.

“I have to grow, Jisung.” 

He clenches his eyes shut, crying harder. “You can grow too–”

Jisung shakes his face away and your heart falls. “That’s easy for you to say. Your life is all sunshine and rainbows.” He replies bitterly. You scoff at his incorrect assumption.

“The whole reason I’m here is because I almost did something stupid that landed me in a psych ward. D’you really think I wasn’t suffering, too?” You ask as you drop your hands from his face. “When I first got here, I couldn’t get through an entire day without breaking down. I couldn’t even turn to mindless sex because I was scared. And I only wanted you.” You look down, ashamed at your admission. 

“I felt like– I still feel like I’m not a functional human and that everywhere I go I ruin lives. I feel that way because of you, Jisung.” 

Jisung takes the opportunity to be affronted by an accusation now. “Because of me?!”

“Yes!” You reply incredulously before laughing bitterly. “I’ve been abandoned my whole life. Either because someone dies or I push them away. I almost prefer that my parents died, because at least then I wouldn’t have to live with them choosing not to be in my life because I was a sad excuse of a person. I kept pushing Minho, testing him to see if he’d leave. And when he did… I thought for a moment things could be okay. Why?” Jisung realizes before you say it, closing his eyes regrettably. 

“Because I had you!” You shout. You laugh pathetically at your next thought. “I thought maybe witnessing the worst moment of my life would make you realize how much I needed you. And then you would smile on the phone while your girlfriend gushes about how excited she was to come home and be with you again.”

Jisung wanted to protest, wanted to tell you that he still cared about you and wanted to see you. But looking at the hurt in your eyes flashed him back to the day you walked out. The way he couldn’t find an answer when you asked him what he would do if Jiwoo put two and two together. The answer wasn’t obvious at that moment, but he knew the moment Jiwoo proposed that the answer was run to you.

“So if anyone should be grilling the other about being abandoned, it should be me.” You say, looking exhausted. Jisung feels utterly horrible. He finally finds you and this is what he does to you? You sniffle, wiping your eyes.

“But Jisung, I’m past that. I’m still fighting my demons but I won’t let them take control this time.” Your smile is a thin veil over your pain. 

“Do you want to get coffee?”

You both agree that you want to speak to each other alone, so you’re both nursing paper cups of instant coffee back at your motel.

“So you were living in that house?”

“The one I showed you?” You ask and he nods. You look around before nodding back. Jisung sighs, wondering if he should tell you just how he got hypothermia.

“Did you like it?” He asks, keeping his eyes on you.

“No.” You admit, solemnly shaking your head. “It turned out to be a bad choice.” 

“Seems like we’ve both got plenty of those to go around.” You both laugh at yourselves. As you settle into a brief silence, you remember what you saw posted to Jiwoo’s Facebook page last year.

“It seems like a lot of people were angry at you on Jiwoo’s page.” You bring up hesitantly. Jisung groans.

“Please. I do not want to talk about that.” Jisung strains. You look over at him and he dodges your gaze. You rest a hand on his knee.

“As soon as I saw you standing in the cafe, I wanted to crumble and just melt into your arms. Tell you all my shameless thoughts no one else would be willing to hear. Like the fact that my friend’s husband who made a move on me was objectively attractive and charming. And the fact that you wouldn’t even flinch would be comforting. But I don’t need my psychologist any more to tell me that that’s not healthy.” 

He finally meets your eyes. Hesitantly, but he still does it. His heart grows heavier as he finally realizes that Minho was right. He did ruin you. You made each other complacent. After Heejin confided in him, he wondered if the right thing to do then was to marry Jiwoo. That didn’t feel like the answer and he knows now that it wasn’t. It was for you both to do right by each other. The consequences of each other’s actions.

“I regret it.” Jisung starts. “Every single day the look on her face haunts me. If I wasn't a monster before, I was definitely a monster for leaving her at the altar.”

“Honestly I was shocked to learn that’s what you did. You’re right, I didn’t think you guys would work, but I thought maybe you’d get divorced after years of an unhappy marriage.” You reflect thoughtfully despite your harsh words. 

“That’s precisely what I was trying to avoid.” Jisung side eyes you playfully. 

“I mean, it’s good you cut it off before that, but you could’ve done it any other way. And maybe a liiiiittle sooner.”

“When? The night you left?” He inquires genuinely after brief amusement.

“Maybe not. Mostly because I think you should’ve done it out of respect for her and not to pursue me.” You note as you stare into your coffee. “But also because I feel like we needed the journey it took to get here.”

Jisung snorts. “I beg to differ. But I get what you mean.” You both chuckle lightly. “What um… what did you say to Minho when you visited him?” He asks, silently wondering just how reconciled you two are.

“I told him he was allowed to hate me but he shouldn’t hate himself.”

“It sounds like you guys wrapped that up neatly.” Jisung deduces while nodding his head.

“Now I would beg to differ.” You start, amused, “He was in jail. The worst part is that he exhibited signs that he would become violent on my behalf and I ignored them.”

“Has he assaulted someone before?” Jisung asks in disbelief. You nod slowly, finally deciding to take a sip of your coffee. You grimace at the bitter taste.

“His best friend.” You smack your lips before looking over at Jisung who is wincing. He makes a long hissing noise that feels like rubbing salt in the wound. However, after a little time, you feel lighter somehow. Acknowledging it won’t make it disappear, but nothing will. You take another sip.

“Is that your girlfriend? …Your kid?” It’s your turn to be nosy. You peek over at him and he laughs. 

“No, I haven’t been here for three years.” He stops laughing as he realizes the other component of that question. “And no. I don’t have a girlfriend.” He states, suddenly nervous as your eyes meet. 

“Are you? In a relationship?” Jisung sips his coffee before you stand up with a smile. You grab his cup to join yours, setting both on the tv stand. You sit back on the bed, closer this time. You grab the hand nearest to yours, slotting your fingers under his palm. 

“No.” You reply softly. He slides his hand to wrap his fingers around your thumb. You wrap yours over the back of his hand.

“If we’re going to do this…” He starts and you feel yourself getting excited. Your eyes flicker down to his lips, realizing you’ve been wanting to kiss him since you entered the motel. “Taking care of each other…” He clarifies. You say a soft “Oh” in realization before squeezing his hand. 

“We should be upfront with each other. What do we want? I’ll go first, I want to take things slow.” He says and you deflate a little. “How about you?”

“Um, right now?” You don’t notice that you’re bouncing your leg until he laughs at you and places his other hand on it.

“No, going forward.”

“Oh! Well… honestly as long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter.” You answer honestly though impatiently. 

“Yeah?” He confirms quietly and you nod. “And right now?” His voice is hushed, dropping in pitch suddenly. Your eyes lower to his lips and his tongue peeks out between them. You give into the urge, leaning in before he makes an admonishing noise. He lets go of your hand to hold you by your shoulders. 

“No?” You say in the most heartbreaking disappointed voice. He laughs again, he can’t help it. He bites his lip before speaking.

“Lay down.”

You excitedly lay back onto the bed, awaiting further instruction. He slowly moves to your side, his cold hand sliding under your shirt and cardigan. You gasp in surprise, closing your eyes. 

“What about this is taking it slow?” He tsks, moving his hand back down and reversing his progress toward your breasts. You whimper, his hands on your skin igniting a feeling you haven’t felt in ages. His hand keeps moving until it breaches the band of your pants. You gasp excitedly as he dips a finger between your folds. 

“Oh my god…” He remarks his shock. His finger sinks deeper into the sea of your arousal. He removes his hand and quickly moves it to his lips. He savors the taste, his eyes fluttering shut. You hum a turbulent moan, clenches your thighs tight. He moves back to your legs, situating in between them before baring your lower half. He discards the garments carelessly in favor of your exposed core. He plants a kiss or two, however many it took before you started to groan in frustration. 

He suckles at your folds, encouraging your clit out. Once it’s free he wraps his lips around it. His lips smack wetly before releasing. He licks up your folds, gathering the bud back into his mouth. The friction he provides with his wet tongue and mouth has you lifting from the bed. You grunt at the tight tugging sensation in your stomach. Jisung switches to a rapid flicking of his tongue that sends you falling back to the bed. You suppress your writhing, feeling a strong fear of disrupting the pleasure. Your repeat short, gasped moans as you watch him.

His hunger grows as he guides you to your high. He slurps at your clit until you’re mewling a warning. You finally let yourself writhe as your first orgasm dawns on you.

“F-fuck I need to fuck you.” Jisung growls against your mound.

Jisung shoves his jeans and underwear down, his cock flopping upon being freed. He grabs the underside of your thighs and pushes your legs back before moving to your arms. He slowly urges them over your head as he heaves above you. “‘m gonna fill you up.” He breaths, his eyes tracing absent-mindedly over your features. You hum pleasantly at the action. 

He slides his legs forward and his tip hits your mound. You jolt in surprise and excitement. Jisung mirrors your drunken smile as he slides in. Your smile fades as your jaw drops open. 

“It’s been so long–” You sob, your legs dropping over his shoulders. “N-need it…”

Pleased, Jisung hums and grabs your hips. He starts slow and shallow, testing the waters, remembering how good you feel. You’re flooding around him, squeezing every time he breaches into new depths. Upon bottoming out your head drops to the bed, your hands splaying out against the headboard. You choke out a moan that sounds like it’s being forced from you.

“God, fuck!”

He finally starts smacking his hips toward you and you frantically cheer him on with crazed chanted yes’s. Jolts of electricity run up from his abdomen to his throat and out his mouth through an urgent groan. He leans down over you, his breath hitting your face before he kisses you. You can feel how hungry he is, not aware that you’re returning the same amount of hunger.

He pulls out and sinks back between your legs before you can process what had happened. He immediately starts lapping at your hardened clit like a madman. Your anguished moan is cut off as he eases three fingers into you. He sounds and feels desperate. His movements are frantic and he can’t stop moaning and humming against you. His saliva mixed with your arousal drips down to your asshole in a thick glob. Not that you can dwell on it much. Not when his tongue is moving so quickly and expertly against you. You can’t help thanking any high power that would listen that you decided to hear the girls out today. He thrusts his fingers inside you faster as he switches to sucking your clit with an obscenely loud noise. He uses his tongue to rub long strokes against your clit. 

You reach down and tug at his hair so hard you think you’ll rip some of it out. You’re both whimpering like puppies in heat. The entire bottom half of his face is practically submerged into your mound. You buck up into him as another orgasm rattles you. You release his hair to fist the comforter with a deep groan.

Jisung crawls back up to position his cock at your entrance. He kneels right over your hips, making it so he can drop his cock inside you with lethal force. He starts with an accelerated speed that has you squealing desperate pleas. His balls slap at your asshole, making the already lewd sound of your wetness even more disgusting. You both sound like crazed animals as you claw and grab at each other. One of his hands haphazardly grasps at your breast to anchor himself. 

A sudden wave of euphoria overcomes you as you recognize his telltale signs he’s close to cumming. He seems to notice something too, reaching down to wrap both his hands around your throat. As he squeezes you rocketed to your orgasm, your cunt spasming around his throbbing cock. He pumps his cum deep inside you, bottoming out two, three, four more times until he’s completely empty. 

It’s like a ray of sunshine cascades over the both of you as he pushes back inside and lays over you. He rolls you both onto your sides, pulling you close like he doesn’t plan on letting you leave.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

As you observe Jisung across the room, you wonder silently if he knows he bites his knuckles when he’s nervous. He paces, visibly frustrated by the limitations of the small space. He flips and walks to the other wall, the phone in his hand now facing you. The dingy lights of the motel room fail to illuminate him as well as the sun that has long since set. Despite that, you still catch his eyes widening.

“H-hi! Um… is Jiwoo available?” After a very brief break, his knuckles are brought back up to reckon with his teeth. “Right, I’m an… old friend. I moved away– alright! Thank you.” Jisung is excited before the anxiety takes back the reins. He switches to his cuticles, needing something to tear at. Your stomach is twisting for him. 

He glances over at you for the first time since he agreed to do this. The terrified look in his eye makes you want to snatch the phone away and hold him, but instead you give him an encouraging smile. You nod and he nods back. 

“Hello? Ah… yeah. This is Jisung.” He flinches at what you presume to be an increase in volume. “I-I know. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I am!” He responds desperately after a momentary pause. “But you don’t have to believe me. I was a coward… so I just wanted to do the right thing and give you closure.”

Jisung chews on his lip before his eyelids involuntarily close, almost like he was bracing himself for something and hated that he was. But as his mouth drops open and a look of hurt confusion twists his features. A tear rolls down Jisung’s cheek amidst the silence. 

“I am okay.” He assures her in slight disbelief only for him to laugh dryly seconds later. “That’s fair. I’d tell me to go fuck myself, too.”

Jisung shuffles and looks down at his feet. “And is he your boyfriend?”

You wince at how that sounds, only for Jisung to be immediately briefed on that fact. “N-no I didn’t mean it like that!” Jisung sighs, dropping his defensiveness. 

“You’re right. I was pretending to care about you. I was cruel.”

Jisung freezes suddenly, his face partially obstructed by shadow. “It was after we moved in together. I realized how different we were, but I wouldn’t let myself believe it. I wanted to change for you… or at least that’s what I told myself.” Jisung answers honestly despite sounding like he wants to do anything but. 

“I guess I thought being with you would make me less of an idiot. But me being an idiot was no excuse for what I did, Jiwoo. And I’m sorry.” He whispers as if he’s lost all his strength. It resurfaces momentarily as he tries to stop Jiwoo but then he takes the phone away from his ear.

After giving him some time, you turn to him. He faces vaguely in your direction, seeming ashamed of the tears threatening to spill. 

“Sh-she hung up–” Jisung starts only to get choked up. His head droops and you push off of the bed. You hurry to him and wrap your arms around him. His cries are quiet, just brief heavy breaths here and there. You rub his back. A few minutes of rocking back and forth encourages him to break the silence.

“I don’t want to leave.” He states weakly. 

“You can sleep here tonight, but I agree about taking it slow.” You pull back to look into his saddened eyes. You cup his cheek and he’s finally able to indulge in the tender gesture. You smile.

“We have time.”

end of act iii

skz masterlist

milestone celebration masterlist

[scekrex]

Hi! I’ve been feeling pretty bad about being Queer a lot recently, (No idea why, probs just seasonal depression) not necessarily in a internalized Homophobia typa way (tho I guess I do have some of that and I have to thank being raised in the south for that ig) but more in a “Oh yeah… a large part of the world wants me to be dead” typa way. Especially this year as there’s going to be/have been a lot of milestones that have reminded me that my life is going to change a lot soon.

I honestly just want Adam to tell me everything’s gonna be fine, in his own Adam way, which definitely involves cursing, probably a lot of cursing, can’t be an Adam fic without it. Maybe some smooches, tho that could 100% just be my simping coming in LMAO.

Your fics honestly make my day whenever I read them and they’ve become my go-to source of serotonin for the day when I’m low. I also made this request mostly to say thank you for putting in so much effort towards your request. I love your work a lot and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day! 💜💜💜

I'm so sorry you feel that way and I really really hope this fic helps ya through it - even if it's just a little. I tried to let Adam act as much in character as possible while also making it fluff <3

And I know the weight of the world can't crush my chest

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, implied depressed!reader

note: not beta read bc fuck you

Adam banged the door to your shared bedroom open which caused you to flinch and hold the blanket you had pulled over your head even tighter. “Rise and fucking shine, bitchboy,” his voice was loud, he wasn’t yelling, he was just speaking loudly to make sure you would hear him no matter if you were asleep or awake. “Leave,” you quietly responded, your voice was shaking and you sounded like you had been crying for a long time - which you hadn’t. But you were not doing well mentally and the least thing you needed in that moment was Adam telling you to simply suck it up and push through. You had been sucking shit up and you had been pushing through for so long and it only caused you to end up worse.

You felt how the mattress lowered as he sat down next to you. His hand came down to rest where he suspected your head to be, gently pulling the blanket away. The strength to fight against that, to yell at him to simply fuck off and leave you be was not within you anymore so you simply let it happen with a sigh. Why couldn’t he just listen to your words, why was he always doing the opposite of what you said? Was he trying to push your buttons? Well, that time it didn’t seem like it, because when you looked up at him concern reflected in his usually confident eyes. A thing that made you wonder if it was about to turn out differently from what you had thought. “Okay what the fuck crawled up your fucking ass and how the hell do I pull it out without fucking destroying you?” he asked dead serious and despite his weird way of wording it, he actually seemed worried - not only that, he had also offered you help. You had the chance to tell him how to help you.

There was just one tiny problem with that: you had no idea how he could help you - you didn’t even know how you were supposed to help yourself because you weren’t aware what the problem was to begin with. You knew that you felt down, that your body felt like there was no energy left inside of it to keep you going. You felt like sleeping all day and all night for the rest of forever, but that simply would not do. So you remained silent - why speak when you had nothing to say and the energy of your body was almost non existent? Adam sighed at the response he didn’t get and gently ran his hand through your hair - where all those gentle touches came from you didn’t know but you did know that you needed them more than anything. And that was why you leaned into his touch without hesitation. Your eyes fell shut and your body focused on Adam’s touch.

“There ain’t shit I can do, huh?” His voice was quieter now and you appreciate him lowering his voice a little very dearly. That was when the brunette pushed the blanket away entirely and just as you were about to complain about it he replaced it with his wings, pulled you close against his chest and kissed your head. “You fucking know that I have no freaking idea how to properly comfort your sad ass,” and while the way he phrased it would’ve caused others to think that he didn’t care at all, you knew better. It was simply how he talked, even during serious situations. It was his coping mechanism that you had learned throughout the years with him.

You wrapped your arms around the taller angel as you pressed your face against his chest, giving in to the urge to hide away from God’s eyes - from Heaven’s eyes. “Just stay,” you mumbled into the fabric of his shirt as you inhaled his scent deeply. He gave you comfort. The world could turn against you and yet Adam would stay, that was something you knew and that knowledge gave you the comfort you needed. And so did his body warmth, his scent, his presence, the touch of his feathered wings against your bare skin.

Adam sighed again, then he spoke up again, “Whatever the fuck you’re going through, you’re not alone, got that? I won’t fucking leave you to yourself to rot.” You smiled against his chest, placing a soft kiss onto the fabric that covered up his skin as a little thank you. A thank you you were unable to voice, afraid you’d fully fall apart. You didn’t want to cry, not when Adam was doing his best to make you feel better and though you knew you were allowed to cry, you swallowed the tears and simply embraced the comfort Adam was providing.

And for a single moment the world seemed to stop for the both of you and the weight on your shoulders felt less heavy.

[stayteezdreams]

Hi! Congrats on 1k! 🎊🎊Can I get some fate ships? I hope I am doing this right!

Stray Kids. Box 2. Card 27

Ateez.Box 1.Card 50

The Boyz. Card 24!

As for a prompt I will say Prompt #29 for whoever you choose!

-🎨

Thank you! And sorry it took a while for me to get to your ship! I hope you like them!

This is the last request I got for the Milestone Event!

Ateez:

Your Fate Ship isss......

Hongjoong!

Prompt #29: 'People keep assuming you are a couple, this causes one of you to finally confess your feelings.'

Waste of Time

"How long have you two been dating?" "Such a cute couple!" "Would you like this for your boyfriend?" "You two look perfect together!"

It's been like this for years. People always assuming you and your best friend were actually a couple. Both of you are used to it by now, knowing when and if to correct people, or just let it be. When to joke about a situation, and share that knowing look.

But secretly, it hurt you, you hated it. Not the idea of dating Hongjoong, that you loved, that was your secret. You wanted to date him. You had feelings for him, that had been around for ages.

The first time someone mistook you for a couple, Hongjoong's swift and clear refusal of the fact hurt you a bit. The first time he went along with it and pretended he was your boyfriend, made your heart beat like crazy, though later on, it hurt again.

It became a joke, to you and others that knew of your real relationship. But even when you played along, you always felt like you were being punished.

"Would you two like to join our couples game night?"

Your looked up at the new friends you had been introduced too, realizing they had assumed you and Hongjoong were a couple, just like many others before them.

Was it because of the way you were always attached at the hip? The way you told jokes silently to one another? The secret looks you threw his way? Maybe the way he always sat so close to you?

The two of you really didn't do yourselves any favors in avoiding the common mistake.

Setting down your drink, you were about to correct them but Hongjoong spoke first. "Sure!"

You looked over at him swiftly and he caught your eyes and smiled, something sparkling in his eyes that made you wonder what he was up to.

Not wanting to make it awkward you just nodded along and went on with the night. But you couldn't help but wonder why this time he wanted to play along? Surely they would find out, and be weirded out that you were pretending? He knew that right?

When you and Hongjoong left, ready to go home for the night, you finally asked.

"Why did you agree to go to their couples game night?"

Hongjoong hummed, walking beside you, his arm brushing against yours. "Because I want to go."

"We could just have a different game night? Not for couples?"

He nodded, "True. But I want it to be for couples."

You eyed him with heightening confusion and he let out a soft chuckle. "I'm tired of always being seen as a couple and having to correct it."

Your heart clenched. "So just letting people believe it is the way around that?"

He noted the subtle confused hurt in your tone, how you thought he was insulted by being mistaken for your boyfriend.

Stopping he turned to face you, "I'm tired of being mistake for your boyfriend and it not being true."

Your breath hitched for a second as you tried to understand his words. "S-so you..."

Hongjoong smiled softly at you, "I want to be able to tell the truth when people ask if we are dating. And I want that truth to be that we are."

You swallowed nervously. "For...how long have you...wanted this?"

He tilted his head as he thought before grinning softly, "The entire time we've been friends."

Your eyes widened in surprise and he chuckled, though obviously nervous. "What? Is that really that surprising?"

"Wha- yes, Hongjoong it is! Beca- because...."

He questioning you with his gaze and you spoke with a soft tone.

"Because that's how long I wanted to be with you for real too. Because now I see how much time we wasted just being friends."

Hongjoong's own gaze widened at your confession, the realization that the two of you had felt the same for so long causing him to feel a wave of emotions.

He took in a sharp breath before suddenly reaching out. His hand cupped the back of your head as he pulled you towards him, his lips colliding with yours in a fervent and desperate kiss.

There was only a split second of confusion on your part before you returned the kiss. His hands messily entangled in your hair as you grabbed the collar of his jacket before wrapping your arms around his neck, leading him to wrap his other arm around you and pull you flush against him.

You aren't sure how much time passed before you were pulling away with soft panting breath. Your eyes caught as you both stared silently, before mutual smiles broke out on your faces.

He nudged your nose with his as he spoke, "Lets not waste any more time then, okay?"

Stray Kids:

And your fate ship is....

I.N!

The Boyz:

And your last fate ship is....

New!

[rendy-a]

Pretty late but congrats on the follower milestone! Hope you reach an even higher goal 🫶🫶

If you are still taking in the event requests then may i please request for a Floyd and Riddle rivalry in asking for a dance? Their interactions are pretty funny ingame so i thought it'd be interesting lol

Well, I'm not entirely happy with this but I've sat on it long enough so...I'm just sending it out! It ended up being far more about Floyd mischievously setting Riddle up with a date but I guess that's close enough!

“How dare you,” Riddle asks in a low and menacing voice.  Most people would find the severe slant of Riddle’s eyebrows, scowling expression and deep red flush to be signs of danger but Floyd only seemed further entranced by his anger.  Floyd’s eyes were blown wide with excitement as he spread his sharp teeth into an even wider grin.  “Speak up, Goldfishie,” Floyd drawls, “I can’t hear you from way down there.”  Riddle’s face screws up as he choaks down his words.  Under normal circumstances, you’d expect to hear the call for a collar come from his mouth but tonight was different.

Days prior, Crowley addressed the gathered assembly of Night Raven students to remind them of the importance of the upcoming Goodwill Dance.  “Nothing will reflect more upon you than your conduct among your peers at this dance.  More importantly, nothing will reflect more upon me.  So, that means you’ll watch your manners!”  Now, Crowley looks forlornly at his hands as thought overcome with sorrow.  “Ah, my poor reputation.  Tarnished by unscrupulous young persons!”  He wasn’t wrong.  The students of Night Raven had been known as troublemakers for good reason.  They delighted in causing mischief to their rival academy Royal Sword and were not selective about how they did it. 

A number of pranks and questionable deeds had already befallen the princely students of RSA.  The last one, a spectacle that resulted in a certain mer prince’s shining red hair being ‘accidentally’ dyed a shockingly bright purple, Crowley had gathered the wayward students of NRC to lay down the law.  “You’ve made trouble with our illustrious neighbor and, what’s worse, got caught!”  Several students snicker in their seats, understanding the clear message.  “In case I am not being heard, there will be no other instances of trouble until this Goodwill Dance concludes…OR ELSE!”   While most students took Crowely’s warning as a mere suggestion to be cleaver with their pranks, one took it as absolute law, for the rules are the rules.

Riddle clenched and unclenched his hands again to try to relieve his anger that the headmaster’s rule had made it impossible for him to vent.  And, oh, did Floyd know it.   He’d delighted in testing just how far he could push the red-haired dorm leader without having him boil over.  It was almost funny until you got dragged into the mix.  “Say, Goldfishie, are you going to ask the Prefect to the dance?  If you aren’t fast enough, I’ll steal them away from you and you’ll end up sad and alone.  Aha ha.”  You’d looked at Floyd in wide eyed shock at the statement before both you and Riddle had broken into sputtering.  “Wha..what are you saying, Floyd?” you stammered.  “Tha…that is a serious breach of etiquette!” shouted Riddle at the same time.  Your reactions had given the eel a certain amount of entertainment and he’d chosen to keep prodding Riddle about it all week long. 

You avoided both Floyd and Riddle as much as you could for the rest of the time leading up to the dance.  It’s not that you were angry like Riddle, it was just that Floyd had hit a nerve.  Perhaps it was silly after being isekai’d into a new world, but you’d still felt hopeful that you’d be asked to the dance.  After Floyd made a scene in the hallway like that, all over school, students were placing bets on who’d ask you to the dance; Floyd or Riddle.  Only, you were pretty sure that neither one planned to actually ask you, which threw a wrench in your plans.  The reputation of your fearsome suitors was enough to ward away other students; the rumored love-triangle robbing you of other options.  You’d been feeling really down about it too.  Unfortunately, the only one you had to complain to was Grim.  And complain you did.  Frequently.  Surprisingly, your furry partner actually seemed to listen.

“Hey, Riddle!” Grim demanded with his hands on his furry hips, “What did you do to my minion?”  The Teapot Tyrant let out a startled gasp and peered over the table in the library at the direbeast.  “Keep it down, this is a library!” shushed Riddle as sternly as he was able to in library volume, “Now, what is it that you want with me?”  Grim points accusingly up at the dorm leader, “They’ve been upset all week, grumbling and complaining about that stupid dance.  It’s interrupting my dinner.  My DINNER!”  With one final scowl, he accuses Riddle, “You’ve stolen the Prefect’s chance to get a date to the dance and now you have to make it up to them so I can eat my tuna in peace!” 

Riddle quietly assesses the situation, “The Prefect is upset over the dance?  And I’ve…stolen their chance to get a date?”  Grim doesn’t reply, merely crosses his arms and glares up at the red-haired boy.  “So…so you are saying that I should take the Prefect to the dance?” Riddle asks?  Then he flushes as he thinks it over, “Me and the Prefect, at the dance together?”  Finally, he tilts his head at a haughty angle and offers Grim a prim stare.  “Well, I suppose I’ll have to then.  Not!  Not because I want to!  But!  But I have to!”  With another deep flush coming over his cheeks, he pouts and declares, “According to Rule Number 53, anything stolen must be returned.  If I’ve stolen the Prefect’s chance to have an escort to the dance, then I must return it.” 

As much as Riddle tried, he was unable to avoid Floyd and find time to ask the Prefect to the dance.  As the day of the dance dawned, Riddle decided that it was just as appropriate to ask the Prefect AT the dance rather than before.  Yet, here was an obstacle, a 191 cm eel determined to stand in his way.  “I don’t have time to play with you now, Floyd,” Riddle hissed up at the smiling mer, “I only have until the end of the dance to make things right with the Prefect!”  Floyd’s eager smile prefaced his mocking retort, “Make things right?  That’s none of my business.”  Riddle scowled back at him, clearly believing it was Certainly! His! Business! after he was the one who started the whole mess.  Riddle choked back his anger and made an attempt to push past Floyd.  However, when he extended his hand to push him aside, a smiling Floyd instead grabbed it, “Why, Goldfishie, I didn’t know you wanted to dance with me.  Aha ha.”  Then, tugging the flustered Dormleader by said hand, he pulled Riddle out onto the dance floor. 

With a sharp turn, Floyd pulled Riddle into a waltzing hold and tugged him into the dance.  Riddle’s face twisted up in frustration, but he was too proper to break the etiquette of the dance and angrily fell into step with the eel.  Both boys were talented dancers and able to mostly ignore the dance steps and hold a conversation in angry whispers instead.  “What is the meaning of this, Floyd?” Riddle demanded.  “Night not going how you wanted?” Floyd asked with a long lazy smile.  “You know perfectly well what I’m trying to do!  Now, stop getting in my way!” Riddle answered the question in an angry huff. 

“I’m not the one getting in your way,” Floyd said calmly, “you’re getting in your own way.”  Riddle looks up at his dance partner incredulously.  “I most certainly am not!” he retorts sharply.  “Then why’d it take all this to get you to ask the Prefect to the dance?” Floyd replies as they finally fall into silence.  Why had it taken such extreme lengths to get to this point?  Riddle flushed a touch while he mediated silently on his feelings.  Finally, he looked back up at Floyd and asked in a small voice, “So what do you recommend then?”  Floyd smiles and pats Riddle on the head, earning him another scowl, before he leans in and whispers, “Don’t overthink it.”  Then he gives the shorter boy a shove that sends him backpedaling until he collides with another student.

“Ah!” you exclaim as you feel someone bump into you from behind, nearly sending you toppling over.  You regain your balance and turn to see who’d been so clumsy.  “Riddle,” you weakly observe.  He stares at you, seemingly frozen.  You had prepared a scolding for the rude person to bump into you but obviously you changed your mind about delivering such a speech to Riddle.  Instead, you awkwardly rubbed your arm and waited for him to say something.  When he doesn’t respond you start to turn away, “I guess I’ll go first then.”  Only a hand catches your arm before you can leave.  “Wait,” he calls softly.

You stop and look back at the flustered Dormleader.  He mumbles something while avoiding your eye.  “What was that?” you ask him.  He blushes a deep red, looks straight into your eyes and repeats, “I’d be very honored if you’d allow me to be your escort for the remainder of the dance.”  You give that a moment to process, “Are you asking me to dance?”  He gives a short nod and you break into a smile.  “It’s about time,” you say and hold out your hand.  He gives a start and stammers, “Were…were you waiting for me?”  You slip into a dance hold and look into his earnest face, “I don’t know.  Maybe I was.” 

From across the dance floor, two sets of mismatched eyes watch the nervous couple navigate their first dance.  “You know, I’m quite amused by this outcome,” Jade muses, “I thought you’d play with him far longer.”  Floyd shrugs, “It was getting boring, so I decided to help him out.”  Jade puts a hand to his chin, pretending to ponder that, “Oh?  Now you are becoming as benevolent as the great Sea Witch herself.  How very surprising.”  Floyd shrugs his shoulders, watching Riddle turn the Prefect in a spin.  Then he smiles at his twin, “I don’t know about that.  Maybe I was just thinking it would be far more fun to let him get attached more before I steal the Prefect away.”   Now it is Jade’s turn to smile, “I’ll look forward to it.”  The dance continued with smiles gracing the face of many a student; some lovestruck, some full of fun and others full of mischief.  Each one full of a promise of things to come.

[dmercer91]

CONGRATS ON THE MILESTONE <33 !!! (i’m actually terrible i didn’t say this sooner) but i did wanna know how jack reacted to charlie’s beef with the blackhawks bc of the injury that nearly derailed her career. like we saw how it was a scary time for dawson but i was curious how jack reacts to that whole situation (im super proud of you <33)

🫶 THANK YOU!!!! (you’re not terrible thank you for having said it any time ever <333)

jack seems like the type to try and be strong and on the inside that man is overthinking like it’s a competitive sport

and charlie can always see through that and in this situation she’s trying to be stubborn about opening up and jacks being stubborn about worrying

dawson won’t say anything cause it’s not his place and jack won’t ask nico cause he knows he’ll get a lecture on communication

but i digress

also, i’m DUMB and tired and so this is sort of what you requested

sullen silences | hooked, jh86

tanner had kept her promise to nico- only recording 2 penalty minutes tonight for a tripping call that she’d argue for the rest of her life was bogus

she and jack were now on the way home, silence deafeningly loud in the car. jack had known something was up the last time they played the hawks, and her talk with nico before the game had confirmed it was team specific

he hadn’t heard any of the conversation, but he knew nico usually had a calming effect on charlie.

when he pulled into the parking garage at his condo, she tried to open the door as soon as the car was in park.

jack locked the doors, earning a look.

“uh. jack, can you let me out?” she asked, attitude prominent in her voice

“char.” he replied, and she slouched in her seat, the air of the car getting more tense as she realized that her boyfriend was finally gonna speak up.

“you get angry when you don’t talk, and you were angry tonight. the last time we played them, too,” he tried to keep his voice soft, not wanting to break his barrier of calmness and let her see how worried he was.

“i feel very strongly about the city of chicago,” she deadpanned, pulling up the lock on her door and immediately pushing the door open, getting out.

“charlie! i just want to help, char. i wanna know what’s wrong,” he followed quickly behind her and grabbed her arm, keeping it in his grasp for hardly a second before she ripped it out.

“i just won’t go easy on a team that continues to re-sign tyler shaw, okay? that pisses me off a little,” jack stopped in the parking garage, a little stunned, while tanner kept walking.

“char.. charlie-“ he tried, but she kept walking, getting into the elevator and making her way up to the apartment without turning back

as soon as she flung herself into their shared bed, the door creaked open “tanner,”

her eyes fluttered shut, ignoring him.

“you know if i would’ve brightened up a little, i wouldn’t have kept asking about it. i would’ve let you be, tanner. i’m sorry,” jack sat on the edge of the bed, putting his hand on her calf

she made no move to push him away, only stayed still in her laid down position.

when she finally sat up, she could tell jack was lost in his own head. she moved over and rested her jaw onto his shoulder and he turned his head, snapping out of thought.

“if that night had gone any differently, i wouldn’t have you right now,” he mumbled, looking up at her.

“his name doesn’t even click in my head, cause i don’t like to think of not having you.. so i just block it. when you said it like that- his name, i remembered you talking about it when we first started dating,”

she wrapped her arms around his bicep, his hand squeezing her knee

“i’m sorry for prying, char,” she eyed him before moving into his arms, relaxing in his hold

“i know you were just worried about me, j,”

[sherlollyandspoilers]

We're worth it, Chapter 26, March 6th

Chapters 1 through 25 of We’re worth it can be found here Here be Dragons is the original fic that this fic is a companion piece for - HBD timeline: Chapter 18,before the Epilogue

“Sherlock, you have been quieter than usual this morning,” June pointed out. He gave her a questioning look. “Would you like to share what’s going through your mind?”

He rolled his lips in as he sat up straight, hands till clasped together in his lap. “I had a stag night over the weekend.”

June looked between Molly and Sherlock, but Molly looked confused as to why he was bringing it up and Sherlock was clearly still working his thoughts out in his head. “How did it go?”

June could see that Molly was working something out for herself as well. “You got drunk?” Molly finally asked.

“I don’t know that I should have,” he said quietly, still not looking at her.   

Molly reached out and touched his arm. “I’m not mad at you for it.”

Sherlock looked at her hand and then up at her. “I know.” She squeezed his arm gently before dropping her hand. “Besides, it is always clear when you are mad at me.” A cheeky smile tugged at the corner of his mouth before he turned to look at June again. “I worry that without all of my faculties about me I could potentially make a disastrous decision.”

June nodded, doing her best to connect the dots. “You are worried that being drunk could cause you to relapse and let your family down again?”

He gave her a curt nod. “I haven’t had my individual session this week yet, but I plan to discuss it more in depth.”

“I think that is a good plan.” June turned from him to Molly, “For now, Molly, you say you aren’t mad about what happened?”

She shook her head, “No, not at all…in fact I remember thinking to myself that I was glad alcohol wasn’t his drug of choice.” She paused and turned to him. “I typically try to stay out of your recovery therapy stuff, but will you talk about trust tomorrow?” A look of concern flashed across his face, but he nodded yes instinctively. “Not regarding me trusting you, but you trusting you.” He nodded again, a look of understanding now on his face.

“It’s been over a year, now, yes?” June asked

“14 months.” He nodded. “It was a year on my birthday.”

“Ahh, someone got reengaged that day, overshadowing the important milestone.” She smirked at them both.

“I do feel a bit bad about that, actually,” Molly looked apologetic, but Sherlock lifted an eyebrow at her. “A year is quite an accomplishment, and we didn’t even acknowledge it, let alone celebrate it.”

Sherlock smirked, “We did celebrate that night.” June giggled as Molly’s face warmed. “Honestly,” he said after a moment, “I wouldn’t have necessarily wanted to celebrate it.”

“No?” June asked.

“Sobriety is something that I need in order to be the person my family needs me to be – I don’t want to be celebrated for doing something that I should just do.”

“That’s a very mature way of thi – ” June started but he interrupted her.

“I want to be celebrated for my extraordinary accomplishments, like being the one and only consulting detective in the world.”

“Lord.” Molly and June shook their heads at him. “Ever humble, honey,” Molly patted him on his knee.

[cryoculus]

— reparations 05 ⟢

i have a very marketable skill called “jumping to conclusions”

★ FEATURING; arataki itto x gn!reader

★ WORD COUNT; 4.6k words

★ TAGS; modern au, flower shop au, slow burn, idiots to lovers, tooth-rotting fluff, mutual pining, no smut, sfw

★ NOTABLE CHARACTERS; arataki itto, thoma, kamisato ayato, kamisato ayaka

★ MASTERLIST . AO3 ★

“I can’t believe I wasn’t here when he did the thing. What kind of father am I?!”

You’re in the middle of shaping the bonsai you have on display when Itto sulks behind the counter—chin propped on top as he watches the silk white cocoon inside Itto the Fourth’s jar. You roll your eyes.

“Well, if you spent your precious time being here for his milestones in life instead of canoodling with the yakuza…”

“Nope! You are not guilt-tripping me out of this, master!”

“Wasn’t counting on it,” you scoff.

So, as things might have it, after placing your late-night order at Shimura’s, you and Itto decided to lounge in the shop to wait for the food. But the moment he sat down on your swiveling seat, the gang leader refused to take his eyes off the caterpillar-turned-chrysalis that was Itto the Fourth. You actually forgot to bring up that it was finally one step closer to the next phase of its insect life given all the commotion that occurred over the last hour. But your patient didn’t seem to mind the delayed info.

“Say,” you begin, putting down your shears as you flash him a pointed look. “If you won’t tell me exactly what’s going on, can I at least know how you got on the yakuza’s bad side in the first place?”

Itto hums, craning his neck to meet your gaze. “Eh? Ain’t that the same thing?”

“Don’t think about it like that! Your origin story is different from your current predicament, you know.”

And then Itto makes a motion of pinching his thumb and index finger together before sliding it across his lips like a zipper—shaking his head petulantly. What a damn kid. 

To his credit, Itto may be idiotic about eighty percent of the time, but he’s still pretty sharp. You’re not sure if he’ll even spill the details once the entire ordeal is over. You can almost hear your mother chiding you for nosing into another person’s business, but what the hell is so important that Itto would have to (literally) break his back for the sake of it? A lifetime supply of yakisoba? A printed certificate that says ‘Arataki “The Yakuza Boss” Itto’? The longer you wallow in your own thoughts, the wilder your imagination runs, so you decide to spare yourself the trouble.

As you get back to your feet, you peek behind the blinds you drew at closing time, wondering when your food is going to arrive. Though it’s only been ten minutes since you placed your order, you were beyond starved. However, there don’t seem to be any delivery motorcycles in sight. Guess your dinner isn’t arriving miraculously early. 

“Is there anything I can do to make you tell me?” you ask out of the blue, turning your head to Itto, who is now comfortably leaning against the backrest of your chair. “Beating you in an onikabuto battle? An eating contest? Rock-paper-scissors?”

Yeah. You’ve totally lost it. You don’t even know why you’re trying so hard to get it out of him. It’s none of your business! Repeat until true! 

“Those are quite the honorable choices, if I do say so myself.” He laughs, cracking his fingers together. “But not even a mountainload of mora can get me to disclose the details. And that’s saying something ‘cause I’m kinda broke right now, but who cares!”

You do a double-take on that one. “Wait, you’re broke?” 

“Hm? Is that so hard to believe?”

You’re quick to stride back to the counter, placing a palm in front of him as you shoot Itto an incredulous stare. “The rent in this place is forty thousand yen a month. Rent that I pay to your gang. Your gang, who owns this property. Did you just happen to forget that?”

“Oh, yeah…”

“Shinobu doesn’t let you handle any of the money, does she?”

“Um… No, she does not.”

“Then how the hell have you been getting by all this time?” you nearly shout, throwing undecipherable hand gestures everywhere. “I-I don’t even pay you—”

Itto effectively cuts off your rambling by pressing a finger to your lips, making your eyes go wide as he shushes you. He meets your gaze earnestly, and only speaks once you’ve completely gone silent.

“I know you’re my master and I still have tons to learn from you when it comes to gardening or whatever. But lemme tell you this: you need to learn how to chill.” He says every word so slowly, it’s as if he’s talking to a prepubescent teenager. “Look at me! Barely escaped with my life back there, but I’m bonding with Itto the Fourth ‘cause the situation calls for it. Sometimes, you gotta adapt to strange environments, y’know?”

Chill. Right, yeah. Chill. A.K.A., something that you were already lacking the moment Itto didn’t step through the front door on the first day of his leave. And now he barges into your home, passes out, makes you treat both his wounds and him to dinner. Where the hell are you supposed to get a decent supply of goddamn chill?!

“Gee, why didn’t I think of that?” you balk sarcastically, slapping his hand away. “Thank you, Arataki. You just solved half the world’s problems with unsolicited advice.”

To your absolute joy, he chuckles aloud, looking way too pleased with himself. “You’re too kind! Some of my boys said I should start writing for an advice column in the daily newspaper. What do you thi—”

All of a sudden, Itto’s cheery voice cuts to the thick silence of the shop. He stills, rising to his full height as rusty amber eyes do a cautious sweep around the room. You’re about to ask what’s gotten into him before the man before you promptly has all the color drained from his face, as if having realized something drastic.

“Tsk, he’s coming...” he mutters, and for a moment, you momentarily mimic the shock on his face. Who’s coming? Those fuckers that hazed him? 

“Itto—”

“Yo, I’m going to, uh…” he trails off, grabbing Itto the Fourth’s jar before tucking it beneath his arm. The gang leader jams a thumb over his shoulder with a wobbly smile. “Hide in your room for a sec. Is that okay with you?”

“What?” You scowl. “Are you just going to leave me to entertain those lunatics alo—hey!”

Not even securing your explicit permission, Itto bolts back up to your apartment with his stupid hibernating caterpillar—leaving you right in the dust. The room is silent, save for the erratic thrum of your heartbeat that’s making you feel a little psyched out. Should you call the police? But if the person (people?) that Itto sensed was dangerous, surely he wouldn’t leave you to deal with them for him, right? But then again, cooking up assumptions about your unwitting apprentice was a common mistake that you’re growing tired of making.

Your instincts jolt to life when you hear three knocks on the front door of the shop, making your heart plummet to your stomach. 

It takes you a moment to realize you’re locked in another game of ‘Guess Who’s on the Other Side’. This time, it could either be A.) Itto’s assailant(s) or B.) the food delivery guy. Though your hunch was wrong about Tora’s sudden appearance in the balcony, you were pretty damn sure this can only be one or the other. 

Calm down, you tell yourself. Sure, Itto isn’t the best at keeping his temporary employment here all that discreet, but surely the yakuza won’t try to drag you into their problems. You’ve got nothing to do with all that! 

With a clean conscience, you breathe deep, compose yourself, and open the door.

“And here I thought you’d gone straight to bed.”

When you see who it is, your jaw nearly unhinges itself from your skull and lands on the floor. How the fuck can you be so wrong twice in the same night?!

“A-Ayato?” you stammer, but he’s already letting himself in—shrugging off the coat off his shoulders as he marvels at the state of your shop. “Lovely place you have here,” he comments. “I might send in an order or two pretty soon since Ayaka has been gushing about your bouquets non-stop.”

You can’t even be bothered to feel flattered at the promised revenue because you’re processing the presence of not just one, but three people that have entered your shop past closing time. Ayaka and Thoma followed suit right after the force of nature that is Kamisato Ayato, but thankfully these two look a bit more apologetic.

“You weren’t picking up any of our calls,” Ayaka sighs, stuffing her phone in her handbag and unraveling the scarf around her neck. “We thought you might’ve been in trouble.”

Calls…? As in, plural? Shit. You left your phone upstairs after that strange, heart-to-heart conversation with Itto on your balcony. You hadn’t bothered checking it since you finished patching him up. But you attempt to mask your surprise by shifting everyone else’s attention to Thoma instead.

“I told you something just came up, right?” you sigh. “Why’d you go ahead and let Ayato-nii march all the way here just to see if I’m fine?”

The blond chuckles, already sounding defeated. “We all know when waka’s got something set on his mind, there’s no stopping him.”

Well…that is true. 

You guess there’s no use trying to point fingers now that the Kamisato trio was here, so you just tell them to get comfortable instead. Thank Archons Itto suddenly rushed upstairs (for reasons that still eluded you). It’s going to be pretty hard to explain what a shirtless gang leader is doing waiting for late night takeout with you to these guys. Even if the four of you have been through weirder shit in the past. 

“Has business been faring well?” Ayato asks, carefully draping his fingers across the bonsai you were just trimming earlier. 

You nod. “Uh, yeah! So far so good. The people here in Hanamizaka have been sweet and accommodating. Didn’t really expect that in a place handled by the Arataki Gang.”

For some reason, the older Kamisato raises an eyebrow at that and you internally panic. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. Was bringing it up a bad idea? Nahhhhh, Ayato couldn’t possibly know about Itto’s temporary post here. You aren’t even sure if Ayaka knows since Thoma isn’t really a snitch. You should be safe. Maybe.

Then, you hear a loud noise coming from upstairs.

Ayaka glances over to the stairwell curiously and you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from actually screaming. Yep, entertaining these three and kicking them out ASAP should be your main priority right now. Close college friends plus big brother or not.

“What was that?” Ayato wonders.

“I-It’s probably just Mikan,” you laugh nervously. “She’s been really hyperactive lately. Turns the place upside down whenever she isn’t asleep hahaha!”

He looks, by no means, convinced of your reasoning, but thankfully Ayato plays along and decides to drift over to your beloved succulent rack. “Oh, I nearly forgot. Ayaka, Thoma, we were…informally invited to the wedding of one of the daughters of the branch families. I say informally because the ceremony is still in its planning stages.”

“Is there any reason you’re telling us this in advance as well?” Thoma asks.

“Mmm, well I heard the bride-to-be, who is one of our cousins, is going to wed a commoner from the city,” Ayato elaborates. “A commoner who suggested that this flower studio is going to take charge of the necessary arrangements for the wedding.” 

You take a moment to process that, vaguely remembering a job your mother told you to look out for the last time you were home. “...Do you mean Andou-san?” 

For the past few weeks, you were so preoccupied with keeping Itto in check that you completely forgot all about it. But who knew Andou’s fiancée was from a Kamisato branch family? Huh, small world. 

“Forgive me, I’m not very good with names, but when our cousin bought up your store in today’s lunch meeting, I just felt the need to bring you three together again.” Ayato laughs softly as he picks up one of the tiny potted succulents, casting a cheery stare at his present audience. “Just like old times, yes?”

“Nii-sama, the three of us have always kept in touch,” Ayaka sighs. “Is there anything else you’d like to talk to them about?”

The older man hollers, setting down the succulent as he raises his hands in surrender. “Oh, fine, fine. You caught me. Another reason why I wished to catch up with our dear friend is…this funny story told to me by one of my secretaries.”

“One of your secretaries?” you repeat.

Ayato nods. “She lives around this area. Told me she was walking home after sorting out some documents at the estate in Yougou Heights when she walked past Sakura Street and… Realized a motorcycle crashed into this very same shop! Shocking, is it?”

…Count on Ayato to express his concern in the most backwards way possible. You can feel your tongue turning sandpaper dry as your eyes discreetly rivet back to Ayaka and Thoma—two people you kept in the dark about the night you first met Arataki Itto. They exchange puzzled looks almost in unison, which means this is probably the first time Ayato brought the matter to their attention.

“Crash?” you chuckle, gesturing around the shop. “Does this look like a place that’s been trashed by a motorcycle, Ayato-nii?”

“Well, now that you mention it, that certainly doesn’t seem to be the case,” he hums thoughtfully. “But I couldn’t help but wonder…especially when Thoma over here told us about your lively helper. Arataki…was it?”

Fuck. He’s on to you. Ayato is soooo on to you. 

“Oh, yeah. Itt—uh, Arataki. That’s his name. Y’know, the gangster.”

“From what I heard, that man is kind of a bum,” Ayato remarks warily, folding his arms. “Yet he’s working here?” 

“Yeah, ‘course he is!” you reply a bit too quickly. “That guy um, takes odd jobs whenever money’s starting to get tight so I’m just helping out. It’s only for a few weeks.” Shot in the dark. You still don’t know how Itto’s made it this far without a stable job, on top of those weird allusions to a life in prison he’s yet to speak to you about.

“So where is he now?”

As if the man in question wishes to answer Ayato’s inquiries for himself, yet another crash resounds from upstairs. Holy shit. You are going to rip Itto to shreds once you’re done dealing with Ayato. Could he be any more goddamn obvious?!

“Mikan, stop messing with the furniture!” you yell (somewhat) convincingly. “A-Anyways, that guy is on leave right now. So if you’re looking for him, you might have to contact his deputy, Shinobu instead.”

“Do you need help rounding up your cat or something?” Thoma offers. “You always count on me to calm her down, remember?”

The mere suggestion is enough to send you into cardiac arrest. “Nope! It’s fine. Mikan’s just going through it is all. She’ll calm down eventually.”

“Is that why you weren’t able to have dinner with us?” Ayaka shoots you a worried look. “I know a well-practiced vet from Watatsumi Island. Would you like me to give you his card?” 

“Hey, come on!” you groan—feeling all sorts of pressured from their kind suggestions. Gods, you can only imagine how much these three were going to fuss if they found out that Itto’s crashing stunt was actually true. “You have all got to chill. We haven’t gotten together in nearly a year, and you guys choose to spend the time worrying? How about we call it a night for now and let’s just…hang out this weekend! How’s that sound?”

Ayato starts to stroke his chin contemplatively. “Hm, I did ask my secretary to free up my schedule next week. Business trips drain the life out of a man, if you kids only knew.”

“Nii-sama, you’re only three years older than us.”

“Ah, the ignorance of youth is bliss I can no longer attain.”

“They’re right, though,” Thoma, thank Archons, agrees with you, straightening the collar of his own jacket with an apologetic smile. “We’ve already imposed too much. Let’s all just continue this on the weekend. Should we meet you here?”

The last bit was directed at you, to which you respond in turn. “Sure. I promise I won’t stand you guys up anymore.”

“We’ll hold you to that then,” Ayato huffs, digging into the pocket of his trousers before tossing something in Thoma’s direction. Fortunately, the blond is dextrous enough to catch it mid-air. “Go take Ayaka back to the car. I’ll just put down a few orders I’d like our dear friend to make for me.”

Thoma nods without question, twirling Ayato’s keys around his index finger as he and Ayaka exchange farewells with you. Though, you try not to think about how your best friend’s stare lingers on you a tad longer than usual. 

When the door shuts behind the two of them, Ayato paces around the shop for a few moments more. Though you’re sure as hell he was just stalling, you can tell that the fondness in his eyes as he surveys each shelf is anything but fake. 

“So my office back at home has been looking very dull to me as of late,” he laments. “The rainforests of Sumeru are quite a refreshing sight, and I’d like to emulate the scenery, no matter how minimal, inside my workspace. That’s why I wanted to ask which decorative pieces you recommend for the setting I have in mind.”

You rack your mind for a catalogue of tropical plants that could suit Ayato’s tastes right then and there, feeling a bit proud of yourself to have earned his favor. “Let me see, uh, Monstera plants make for good minimalist decorations in the office, Ayato-nii. I actually have some displayed right…here.”

Wandering around the rows of shelves, you show Ayato a miniature version of the lush green plant that seemingly has holes on its leaves. “This is what they actually look like. They didn’t get attacked by pests or anything.”

“Oho, these are exactly what I saw by the riverbanks.” He nods. “I’ll have someone pick up, hmm, five of these within the week along with a check for the payment. Just text me the invoice after.”

“Sure thing.”

You’d be lying if you say you weren’t expecting him to sneak in something else in such a casual conversation about the items you have on sale. If there’s anything you know best about Kamisato Ayato, it’s that he likes to keep his intentions tucked discreetly between two different pages of a book—so that only those who are meant to know their meaning can read between the lines. But as you quietly see Ayato out of the shop, you wonder if it’s actually possible for him to do things without an underlying motive beneath all that pretense.

“A shame that you weren’t able to sample Komore Teahouse’s special dinner sets tonight,” he sighs, raising a hand to pat your head affectionately as he puts his coat back on. “But we all have lives to live and other matters to attend to at times. Just make sure you show up on Saturday, yes? You promised~”

“Yes, Ayato-nii. I promise.” You spare him a hearty laugh, wrapping your arms around Ayato tenderly. The years you spent growing older alongside him and his siblings always makes you feel like you were part of their family, too. Well, Ayato did say to never hesitate calling them your family once, and you’ve always done as told.

“Can you promise me one more thing?” 

Pulling away, you meet his silver-eyed gaze with brows raised. “What is it?”

He gazes at you with a tinge of seriousness for the first time tonight, one hand placed on top of your shoulder. Ayato opens his mouth, as if raring to speak his mind, but the moment you anticipate his words, they never come.

“...Forget it. I might be speaking out of turn,” the older man sighs, smiling sheepishly to himself. “Just—take care of yourself. Your future’s looking quite alright here in Hanamizaka, but I hope you know it won’t hurt to be more cautious.”

“You sound just like my dad, it’s kind of creepy,” you joke, patting his hand with yours. “Got it. Now, shoo! Ayaka and Thoma are probably waiting for you in—”

“Shimura’s delivery!”

Startled, you glance over at a man whose motorcycle is parked by the curb—the familiar Shimura’s logo printed brightly on the delivery box behind him. You can practically feel the day’s fatigue evaporate from your body at the sight of it.

“I’m the one who placed the order!” you say, waving him over. But as the delivery man scrambles over to where you stand, Ayato flashes you a minute nod—one you return with a warm smile that doesn’t falter even when he’s already walking away.

“Late night special for—” the delivery man practically announces to the whole neighborhood as he squints at the receipt in his other hand. “Arataki Itto?”

Again, you feel your entire body seize up at the mention of his name. You whip around to the direction Ayato headed when he finally made his leave, chest threatening to burst. He hasn’t gotten far yet, and the possibility of him having heard what this mouthy delivery guy just said is more likely than not. But Ayato doesn’t look back. In fact, he just keeps his strides forward as if he heard nothing at all.

“Yeah,” you respond to the man in front of you with a queasy smile. “That’s our order alright…”

“Well that took long enough!”

You don’t even have the energy to snap at Arataki once you make it back to your apartment, carefully setting down your food on the now-tidy coffee table. Huh. Did he clean up while you were downstairs or something? Only the remote to your TV and Itto the Fourth’s pickle jar littered the surface.

“What took long enough?” you sigh. “The food or me getting rid of my impromptu guests?”

Itto snorts from where he’s sitting cross-legged on your sofa. Thankfully, he’s now wearing a shirt but it seems a few sizes too—wait, is that your old pep rally shirt? “Duh! I was talkin’ about aniki. I have the patience of a mother when it comes to food, mind you. But when that guy’s in the vicinity, ohhhh boy! I’m not really ready for my 781st loss yet. I hope you understand why I had to run with my tail between my legs. Don’t tell him that, though. He’ll laugh at me.”

No matter how much you try to make sense of what the hell Itto was saying, you’re way too famished to think. So you decide to fill your poor stomach with something to eat first before asking questions.

The scent of chili oil and steamed dimsum makes your mouth water as you pop one into your mouth, chewing happily as you watch Itto wolf down his own very late dinner beside you. It feels a little strange, having a meal with someone on a couch you’ve only shared with Mikan, but the change isn’t unwelcome. Even if he probably broke into your room to steal your clothes.

“So, this aniki person you mentioned,” you start, quietly slurping your fried noodles. “Are you…talking about Ayato-nii, by any chance?”

“Eh?” Itto stares at you, putting down his chopsticks before bracing his palms on his knees. “You know aniki, too?”

“Well, yeah. He’s the older brother of one of my best friends,” you inform him. “How do you know him?”

“Haha! It’s a long story, master. One that’s best told over drinks and not fast food takeout. But I’m sure I can convince ya to go out drinking with me sooner or later.”

“Do you even have the mora for that?”

“Ahh, no. No, I don’t. That’s why you’re footing the bill as usual.”

“You’re really fucking thick-skinned, you know that?”

Once the two of you have finished bickering over interchanging topics in the span of thirty minutes, you clean up after your food. Itto actually has the decency to help you dispose of everything that needs disposing, as if he isn’t sporting any healing injuries at all. You try not to laugh at how comical it looks for him to lug a trash bag down the stairwell of your apartment wearing your pep rally shirt-turned-crop top. It’s either this guy has zero self-awareness or he seriously does not give a fuck. You’re not really sure which one it is.

“So, can I sleep on the couch?” Itto asks once he gets back, wiping the sweat off his brow.

A pause.

“What? You’re sleeping here?”

“Of course I am!” he says. “I can’t exactly show up at our home base looking all jacked up like this, now can I?”

“Well, you can’t just volunteer your employer’s couch as a temporary stronghold either, wise guy!” you scowl, kicking him in the shin as you retrieve your phone. A quick scroll across the lock screen clues you in on the several missed texts and calls that your friends made earlier, and—damn. You should really keep this thing on you all the time.

“You’re kicking me out just like that?” He pouts, and god, it’s such an atrocious look on him that it makes you want to hurl. But then again, it’s already, what, one in the morning? 

If you evict him now, Itto would probably just go back to those assholes that hurt him instead of swallowing his pride and letting his gang see him like this. Which will give you more problems than if you just let the guy sleep over for one night. Dammit!

The gods better be looking down on you with favor right now. 

“Fine. Do you need any blankets or something?” 

“Nah, s’fine. They don’t give you blankets in prison, so.”

“...Remind me to do a background check on you tomorrow?”

“Hehe, now why would I do that?”

You let out a long, long sigh when you shut the door to your bedroom. Itto assured you that he’d hold down the fort and beat up anyone who tries to rob you in the dead of night while you slept. A promise that’s equal parts reassuring and terrifying but you’re frankly too exhausted to think about it too much.

To your surprise, Mikan is already inside your room. But she seems to be preoccupied by something—

A gasp flees your lips when you see one of the photos you have propped up on your nightstand on the floor, lying face down with a couple of glass shards littering the floor. Mikan mewls once she notices you draw near, pawing at some of the fragments as you pick up the frame with careful hands.

It’s a picture of you and your dad at your junior high graduation day, but the protective glass sheen was smashed to pieces. Thankfully, the photo didn’t seem to suffer any damage. 

“Did you do this?” you ask Mikan, to which she replies with a sharp cry that makes you chuckle. “Yeah… Just messing with you.” 

That night, you think of two things as you slowly drift off to slumber. The first is: what did Ayato want you to promise? It’s really not like him to cut himself off mid-sentence like he did earlier. You’re going to try and bring it up again this weekend, if chance permits you.

As for the second thing…

“Why the hell would he do that?” you whisper to no one in particular, one arm draped across your eyes. In your mind, you imagine a statuesque man with strange tattoos standing over the broken picture frame—a disdainful look distorting his usually vigorous smile.

For once, you decide to sweep the dust under the rug, where no one else can hope to find it.

← previous | next →

★ UPDATE SCHED; every thurs & sat (12 nn gmt+8)

© cryoculus | kaientai ✧ all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my work on other platforms without permission.

[theartoflettingg0]

When I asked you what the real reason was that you didn’t speak to me for two weeks - and you finally told me. Something in me broke that day.

You spoke to my character, my values and my soul.

You offended me beyond belief. You actually sat there and really actually typed out the words you felt like you had been used and manipulated by me.

You said you were “angry emotional” and not thinking clearly. You realised it wasn’t like that. You realised I was special. lol. You brought up fate. I challenged it, you don’t believe in fate. “No I don’t really but I’m not sure what else to call it”

You’re talking shit. I don’t believe a word you’re saying. 6 years of friendship destroyed by a couple of words, stabbing me harder and harder in the back as I scramble to understand what the fuck is happening in that moment.

The best part is you didn’t even care. I was so so so hurt during that conversation and you were sending songs and changing the subject, like it was just another day for you.

My relationship with my best friend just changed forever, I was slipping away and you didn’t even notice. Or maybe you did. I guess I’ll never know.

I could sit here and deconstruct every little bit of the convo that night. I could break down letter by letter -I’ve read over it so many times, wondering if I said this or that or if I didn’t even ask at all - how else would you have kicked me while I was down? You told me earlier - point blank - you can’t promise you won’t kick me while I’m down again (!!?) and boy, you were right. I should’ve listened to you the first time. But I’m listening now.

I didn’t even matter enough for you to want to make amends with me. You missed my birthday. That was cruel. You missed my birthday, man.

I’m so sorry for all the pain and anger I caused you. I only wanted the best for you. I wanted us to be the best of friends forever and experience life milestones together. You were suppose to be here.

But you grew colder towards me as the days went on.

Nothing you said was true. You don’t care about me.

It’s so confusing in my brain but your silence has been the loudest.

I can’t believe you’re gone. I can’t believe it ended like this. It wasn’t suppose to end up like this.

But thank you for setting me free.

Que Sera, Sera.

[babydaddyleorio]

congrats on reaching 1,000 followers milestone!! 🎉🎉 you totally deserve them and hope you continue to grow <33 n e ways can i ask for wakasa/izana (tokyo revengers) + no 13 (you are my soulmate)?? take care of yourself and stay hydrated 💜

- 🦋☁

Tysm! This one’s kind of long <33

prompt: wakasa imaushi - you are my soulmate ❦

warnings: none

⤷ Link to my 1k event!

Your story starts with the two of you in high school.

It was a Wednesday morning, you remember it vividly since that was the day he always came to class. 

You also remembered the little things of that day as well, such as how the air conditioner rumbled into a low hum beside you, and how the announcements blared through the intercom above your head as you quietly sat at your desk. It was a normal Wednesday, just like any other one you could think of. Yet, despite you going through this loop with each week that passed, you couldn’t shake off this foreign sense that today would be different as you rolled the pencil in your hand between your fingers. Honestly, your nose should’ve been buried in a book or paying attention to your teacher’s lectures while responsibly scribbling down notes in your journal, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do any of that at the moment.

Because all you could think about was Wakasa Imaushi.

The disinterested delinquent never cared too much for school, but he still found himself lingering around the place anyway. He sat all the way in the back of the room, head tilted backward and feet lazily kicked onto his desk all while being bored out of his mind. And despite Wakasa glaring towards the ceiling, he still was well aware that you were watching him. His lips quirked into a smirk before slowly shifting his gaze to the side, causing you to jump and quickly turn your head once you made direct eye contact with him.

The bell rang and you were embarrassed as you quickly fled the class, but tried to soothe yourself with the excuse that maybe he didn’t actually see you. You took a deep breath, hastily turning the corner, but a hand shot out and grabbed you.

“Why’d you run?” You heard a voice ask, deep but also somewhat playful. You paused and slowly turned to see Waka standing behind you, hands stuffed in his pockets and hair slightly tussled in his face.

“I’m not…” You stopped yourself as you thought of what to say next before shifting your head to the side. “I have a class to go to.”

Waka easily popped the sucker out of his mouth, smiling soon after. 

 “It’s lunch.”

You frowned while stiffly rubbing your arm.

“Why did you follow me?” You asked in an attempt at flipping the tables. “Is it because you saw me staring at you?”

“Precisely,” Waka said before strolling towards you. “I’m curious, too. This isn’t the first time I’ve caught you ogling me, in fact, I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to ask you.”

Waka pushed his face into yours causing you to widen your eyes.

“You got a crush on me or something?”

“No,” You quickly protested, trying to feign annoyance but you were genuinely nervous right now.

Waka’s face slightly fell at that, but it was only for a split second, so you didn’t catch it.

“Aw c’mon, you can be honest. I won’t be mad if you do.”

“No, I really don’t like you.” You insisted with a frown, though, this entire exchange was starting to throw you off.

Waka squinted his eyes as his eyes flickered across his face, then he stepped back, plopping his sucker back into his mouth.

“Alright, give me a month.”

You gazed at him wearily.

“A month for what?”

“Give me a month to make you fall in love with me.”

You stood in front of him, dumbfounded and immobile with shock.

You ran your tongue across your lips before raising an eyebrow. “What?”

Waka smirked. “My pursuit starts today.”

And before you knew it, a month had finally passed. Though, what surprised you most was that Wakasa had stayed true to his word.

“Told you so.” Waka cheesed brightly as his head lay across your lap. He looked up at you with low eyes, a chuckle rolling off his tongue as he saw the stale expression on your face.

“I’m convinced you had this all planned out.” You mumbled while softly playing with his hair.

“ ‘Course I did,” He retorted with swiftness before biting his bottom lip teasingly. “The minute I saw you, I just knew you were gonna be mine.”

You laughed at him, loud and eyes scrunched together. Who would have that the guy you had been secretly crushing on, the one who you figured was way out of your league, had his eyes on you as well? 

“You’re pretty when you smile, you know that?”

You abruptly paused, slowly shifting your gaze downward.

And Wakasa looked at you lazily through his lashes while flicking his pointer finger.

“C'mere.” He whispered as his eyes zeroed onto your lips, sly nodding his head at you. You leaned down before placing a tender kiss on his lips.

And that kiss traveled everywhere.

You shared a kiss on your birthday.

You shared a kiss on your one-year anniversary.

You shared a kiss under the mistletoe with each Christmas that passed.

And now you waited for the kiss you had been anticipating most.

“I do.” Wakasa grinned as he held both your hands in his.

“I do.” You repeated gently, eyes soft and teary. 

As if one cue, Waka grasped the side of your waist and pushed his lips against yours, eliciting a chorus of cheers from all the members of the Black Dragon seated around him.

“God, I fall more in love with you every day,” Wakasa mumbled against your mouth as he leaned his forehead against yours. You gazed up at him, the same way you gazed at him in your first-period class on that Wednesday you remembered so vividly.

You had married Wakasa Imaushi, the Black Dragon Captain, the out-of-control delinquent, the boy made a vow to get you to love him.

You threw your bouquet in the air, screaming happily while raising you and Waka’s clasped hands in the air.

You had married your soulmate.

[onlyfreds]

Canoe Lake | F.W.

Title: Canoe Lake (Percy Jackson!AU)

Requested: Yes/No

Summary: The first anniversary is always important. But, what happens when your boyfriend forgets?

Being a demigod was more of monsters and battles than sunshine and rainbows.

Especially when dealing with the Godly parents who never seem to be content with their immortality and the various quests one has to put up with - it's a miracle you even have a love life at all.

Or maybe Aphrodite was just bored.

But, today couldn’t be a more peaceful, a more beautiful day at Camp Half-Blood.

Why? Because today was your first year anniversary with your lovely boyfriend, Fred Weasley.

Nobody would’ve thought that a son of Hermes and a daughter of Y/G/P would end up together. But, the whole camp practically shipped the two of you, nonetheless.

Looking for your boyfriend, you saw him hanging out with his twin by the canoe lake. 

“Hi Freddie!” You greeted rather cheerfully, pecking him on the cheek.

“Hey princess.” He returned the greeting, giving you a huge smile, “What’s got you in a good mood?” 

Giving him a slightly confused look, you asked, “Don’t you remember what day it is today?” 

Fred thought about it for a moment, “Is it Friday?” 

Your smile disappeared as your spirits were suddenly deflated, did he really forget?

“Yeah.” You nodded, forcing a smile, “It is. I actually remembered that Hermione and I have to go do something so I’ll catch you later.” 

“You idiot.” George said as soon as you were out of sight, “Do you really not know what today is?”

His twin gave a confident grin, “Do you really think that I would forget the exact day that I asked the love of my life to be mine?” 

“Then why did you-” 

“Because, my dear brother, that is what you call the element of surprise. Which I will be needing if my plan is to be executed properly.” 

–

“Hey Y/N!” Hermione greeted, looking up from her book as you neared the Athena cabin.

“Hey.” You said quietly, sitting down next to her on the stairs, resting your chin on the palm of your hand.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, closing her book, “I would’ve expected you to be a bit more… cheery today. Isn’t it your anniversary with Fred?” 

You sighed, “That’s exactly the reason why.”

Hermione’s forehead creased in confusion, “What do you mean? Don’t tell that he forgot about today.”

The sad smile that you gave her was enough of an answer.

Hermione tried to stand up but you stopped her by pulling her back down. 

“I’m going to kill that idiot.” She muttered, glaring in Fred’s direction.

“Calm down Hermione, it’s not that big of a deal.” You shrugged.

She gave you a look, “Not that big of a deal? It’s your anniversary for crying out loud.” 

“Seriously, it’s fine.” You insisted.

“No, it’s not.” She argued, “Y/N, this day signifies a huge milestone for your relationship. You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re not in the least bit angry that he forgot.”

“Fine.” You gave in, “Maybe I am mad. But, maybe I just don’t want to cause a scene which would lead to us fighting which, in turn, would lead to something worse.”

“You’re lucky my best friend needs comforting.” Hermione said with a humorless chuckle, “Or else I would’ve thrown your boyfriend into the lake.” 

You gave her a grateful smile, “Thanks Hermione.” 

–

“You really think this idea isn’t, I don’t know, a little bit stupid?” Ginny asked.

Fred frowned, “No, I think it's actually brilliant.” 

“Really?” Ginny deadpanned, “You don’t think she’ll be mad at you for ‘forgetting your anniversary’?”

“I know she will. But, it’ll be worth it. Trust me.” He shrugged.

“Well, you are the boyfriend. You’ll be the one facing her wrath anyway.” 

–

You sat on your bed inside your cabin, reading a book to take your mind off the fact that your special day with your boyfriend didn’t turn out to be that special at all. 

A small knock came on the door of the cabin.

“Go away.” You muttered, turning another page of your book.

“Please.” Harry’s voice came from the other side of the door, “I know what’s happening and I swear, this is worth it.” 

You closed the book, contemplating on whether or not you should open the door, “And you know this because?” 

Harry grew silent for a moment, “I just do? You just have to trust me.” 

You sighed, “if this has anything to do with Fred, I don’t want to talk to him today.” 

Silence again. “I promise, it has nothing to do with him.” 

“If I have to see him, I’m not buying you any chocolate for a week.” 

You could’ve sworn Harry gulped, “I swear. Now will you please come out.” 

Taking a deep breath and trying to make yourself as presentable as you could in your current state, you opened the door.

Harry flashed a sheepish grin, nodding in the direction of the canoe lake, “I swear, you’ll love it.” 

You nodded, giving him a small smile before following him to the canoe lake. 

You were lost in your train of thoughts that you had already reached the lake before you had realized that Harry had lagged behind you and now was nowhere to be found.

Directing your attention back to the scenery in front of you, a small gasp left your lips as you took in off what was actually to be seen.

A candle-lit table underneath the stars, two glasses of soda (funnily, poured into champagne glasses) and instead of the cliche vase of flowers, the centerpiece was a framed picture of you and Fred - taken six months ago.

“Surprise.” You didn’t even have to turn around to see who the owner of the voice was.

“Freddie,” You cooed, all anger and hurt fading away into the night as you threw your arms around your boyfriend.

Fred chuckled, wrapping his arms around you tightly as he kissed the side of your head, “Happy anniversary love. Did you really think that I would forget the day that the best thing that ever happened to me happened?” 

You looked up at him, “So it was all a coy? All part of the plan?”

“Of course it was.” He smiled, “I only wanted to give you what you deserve for our first year celebration.”

You giggled, leaning up on your tiptoes to press a brief kiss to his lips, “and for the many more to come.” 

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:@lumosandnoxwriting @ssathoma @famdomhideout @nova-darling @gaycatlord-stuff @pandaxnienke @daedreamss @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts @thefallengodesse @cupids-crystals @madelineorionswan @holyheadharpies99 @posteyymaloney(Send a Message/Ask if you want to be added!)

[chaeryybomb]

TRAITOR

pairings: female reader x lee heeseung

summary: you thought lee heeseung was the best boyfriend you could ever wished for. but they did warn you about long distanced relationships. at first, you convinced yourself that it was just your insecurities taking over. but your gut feeling has never been wrong

genre: college au, lovers to exes, fluff, angst, sad ending

featuring: kang hyewon, shin ryujin, lee chaeryeong, lee daehwii, yang jeongin & zhong chenle

word count: 10.4k

warnings: breaking up, mentions of insecurity and cheating, arguments, strong language

the sour series masterlist

Setting down the final box on the ground, you released a sigh of relief and stretched your arms upwards. The satisfying sounds of your joints popping gave you a sense of relief as you stretched. Then you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist. You smiled as you took in his familiar scent. You reached up to touch his neck as Heeseung pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

"Thank you for your help, lovely," he mumbled in your hair.

You turned around in his arms and clasped your hands behind his neck, toying with the back of his hair. Lee Heeseung was looking at you with pure love in his eyes and you couldn't be more happy. "I can't believe we're both finally in university," he said, squeezing your waist.

"Hmm yeah, finally out of high school," you hummed. "It's sad that we didn't get into the same university though," you cupped his left cheek, rubbing his cheek lovingly with your thumb.

Heeseung nuzzled into your hand, slowly drawing you closer. "I can always drive to your dorm, it's just a three hour drive from here."

"Or I can drive to you," you replied.

He scoffed, "Yeah if you get your driver's license," he teased.

You rolled your eyes and softly punched him on the chest before pushing yourself away from his embrace. "Listen, not all of us can miraculously pass on their first try okay," you defended yourself but Heeseung just laughed at you.

Although you tried to act like you were mad at his joke, you couldn't wipe the smile off your face as you sat down on his bed. Currently, the two of you were in Heeseung's dorm. You wanted to help him move in before you had to leave. Heeseung and you were high school sweethearts, the school's loveliest couple. And you've been together ever since then. Today marked a new milestone for the both of you as you had finally graduated from high school and now both of you were accepted into different universities.

The both of you had decided to do what's best for each other and went to different schools. It was for the sake of your future, you didn't want to cause a commotion just because you guys were three hours apart. Plus, it was just three hours. Heeseung could always come visit you and video calls were a thing. You're friends were scared that the both of you wouldn't survive a long distance relationship but you had faith in each other. And that was enough.

Heeseung was lucky to have a room all for himself, whereas you had to share a dorm with two other girls. His room was small but big enough for one person. You knew Heeseung was a simple man, if it had a bed and a table, that would be enough for him. A knock on the door caught your attention, you suddenly remembered that you guys had left the door open when you were moving boxes.

Outside the door stood a pretty girl with long blonde hair. She was really pretty, you noted. She looked so natural as a blonde as well, you couldn't help but thought. The pretty girl sent both of you an awkward smile and waved. You stood up and walked to her, somewhat excited to make a new friend.

"Hi!" You greeted her with a smile, you felt Heeseung behind you.

"Hi," she mirrored your smile. "I'm Hyewon, I'm from the room next door," she pointed out.

"Oh! I'm Heeseung," the taller boy introduced himself. "And this is my girlfriend, Y/N," he smiled at you.

"It's nice to meet you, are you both music majors too?" Hyewon asked. It was common for Hyewon to ask that, considering the university Heeseung applied for is known for their music stream. Heeseung was extremely talented, being blessed with a heavenly voice and all. It was his dream to pursue a music career. Thanks to you, he found the courage to do so,

"Oh no, just him. I don't actually go here," you immediately told her. "I actually go to George University instead."

"Oh! So you're a theatre major then," Hyewon said, surprising you a bit. You nodded in return and Hyewon's smile seemed to grow wider. The university you applied to was quite well known for its theatre arts course. "That's so cool, I'm a theatre major too!"

Your eyes lit up in excitement and you stepped closer to the blonde, eager to learn more about her. But before you could ask her anything, your phone chimed. You gave her an apologetic look before checking your phone. "It's my mom, she's asking when I'll be home. I still have to pack up," you said disappointed. You really wanted to talk more with Hyewon so the both of you could geek out. (And spend a bit more time with Heeseung.) Hyewon looked disappointed too that you couldn't stay longer.

"Let me drive you home," Heeseung started to move to get his keys but you placed your hand on his arm to stop him.

"Nah, it's fine," you shook your head. "I can take the bus home."

"Then I'll walk you to the bus stop," Heeseung said with determination. He was gonna make use of whatever time he had to spend it with you, even if it was for five seconds.

You realised that there was no way of rejecting him, so you just chuckled and said, "Alright, let me grab my bag then." But Heeseung was already one step ahead of you as he had already gone to get it for you. You sent another smile to Hyewon. "It was really great to meet you, Hyewon. I hope we can talk again soon," you told her.

"Likewise Y/N, have a safe trip home," she bid you goodbye before returning to her room.

Heeseung appeared behind you once again, sneakily slipped his fingers through yours and pulled you out of the room. He locked the door with your bag on his shoulder, he looked like he had the intention of not letting you hold it.

"C'mon," he tugged your hand and you giggled, falling into step with him.

The walk to the bus stop felt quicker than it should be, much to your dismay. The bus stop was empty besides the both of you. As the two of you stood under it, you mindlessly swung your intertwined hands back and forth. Heeseung laughed at your action. He released your hand and you looked up curious on why he did it. Heeseung moved so he was standing behind you and wrapped his arms around you, effectively back hugging you.

Your lips tugged upward at the position you were and you held onto his arms. Slowly, he started to rock you back and forth. "I'm gonna miss you," he suddenly said.

You couldn't help but let your smile falter. You were gonna miss him too, you're gonna miss him so much. "This is the first time where we'll be so far apart, I think I might die without you," he rubbed his face into your hair as you laughed at his words.

"I'll call you everyday, Hee. I promised," you assured him with a pat on his arm. The taller boy only hummed in reply but you felt him move his arms to your middle so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled when you felt him peppered small kisses up around your neck.

"I love you," he mumbled before pressing a loving kiss to the top of your head.

"Love you too," you leaned back into him.

Just in time you saw the bus in the distance, which meant your time with Heeseung was ending. As the bus slowed down in front of you, your boyfriend finally reluctantly let you go from his slip. "I'll see you soon, okay?" you promised him. He nodded and leaned down to give you one more kiss before you entered the bus.

Sitting down, you waved from the window and he gave you a smile. Oh god, you already missed him. Heeseung watched as your bus left the station. You sighed, leaning back into the seat. This was the beginning of a new chapter of your relationship, and you have faith that the both of you will be okay.

"Thank you," you said to the barista as she handed you your coffee. With your free hand, you pushed the front door open. The November breeze welcomed you once you stepped outside, your coffee warming your fingertips. Your phone then started to ring in your pocket. You fished your phone out and a smile crept onto your face when you saw the contact name.

"Hello, love," Heeseung greeted as soon as you picked up. You smiled at him, holding your phone in front of your face.

"Good morning, Hee. I just got my coffee," you showed him your coffee like it was a little trinket. Heeseung laughed at your child-like action. The second semester was almost ending and your relationship was still going strong. The both of you were consistent with the video calls and text messages. You'd be calling him at the end of every day and the two of you would talk about your day till one of you fell asleep. (Spoiler: It was usually you.)

And now your second semester as a couple is ending, the both of you had decided to retreat back to your hometown during the break like you did during your first break. So you could bask in each other's presence and visit some old friends. It was slowly starting to become a tradition and you couldn't ask for anything more.

"So, how was your audition?" Heeseung asked as you walked past a group of band kids, sending them a smile as they waved at you.

At the mention of the audition, your smile turned into a pout. "Rejected, as usual," you sighed. You have auditioned for almost every play in your school but you were always rejected or chosen as a background character if you were lucky. You knew that there were a lot of talented students in your school, but you felt dejected each time.

"Sorry, love. I'm sure you'll have better luck next time," Heeseung told you with a sad smile. "I wish I could hold you right now."

You looked at him with a sad gaze, "Me too, Hee." You couldn't lie that long distance relationships were hard, everyday was spent through a screen and you yearned to be next with him physically. During the first few weeks, you told yourself that you would get used to it after a while. Spoiler alert, you still haven't gotten used to it. "But enough of that!" You said, waving away the depressed aura and taking a long sip from your coffee before letting out a sigh. "Our break is coming up and I can't wait to see you."

At the mention of the break, you noticed how Heeseung visibly flinched. His eyes suddenly weren't looking at you anymore, averting his gaze to the side instead. "We are going to be seeing each other, right?" You inquired. But you were met with silence, you stopped in your tracks when Heeseung didn't say anything. "Hee?"

"Actually, Y/N," he started to say and you felt your heart sink already. He didn't call you "love". Some may say you were being dramatic, but Heeseung only used your name whenever something was serious. You're not going to be able to see him during break, your mind told you. You knew it was the most possible outcome, but you hoped that you were wrong.

"I'm not going back during break."

And there it was, what possibly could have been the worse news for you. "Oh," was all you could say, your fingers tightened slightly around the plastic cup before you plastered on a fake smile. "Well, there's always next semester," you assured him, but it felt more like you were reassuring yourself. This was going to be your first winter break without Heeseung.

Heeseung smiled at your reply, a twinge of sadness in him but he brushed it off. "The reason is cause a senior from the film department asked me for help," he explained. "You see, there's a music video competition and he asked me if I could write a song for it."

Your eyes lit up in excitement. "No way! So they're gonna shoot a music video for your song?"

Heeseung nodded with a big smile. "Yup! It's such a big project, like they're bringing in some of the theatre kids as the actors and we're gonna start filming, like next month."

"I'm so happy for you, love," you told him truthfully. Internally, you were scolding yourself for feeling sad that he wouldn't be free during the break when he has something big going on in his life. Stop being so selfish, your mind scolded. Of course you felt a bit blue but this was a big opportunity for Heeseung, imagine if they won the competition. He would finally get some recognition for his music. And the fact that the senior chose him to write the song meant that people were already starting to appreciate his songs and his voice. You were being selfish, like a child.

As Heeseung continued to tell you about the project, you resumed your walk back to your dorms. You listened to him intensively, capturing every small detail in your heart. It was rare for you to see him speak so passionate. Music was his passion, his safe place. You knew that and you wanted him to live a life where he could make his dream a reality. A singer on the bright stage with thousands, no, millions of fans to appreciate his vocals.

You managed to reach your dorm just as Heeseung was being called for off screen. A feminine voice was calling from him and you easily recognised it. "Is that Hyewon?" You asked.

A few seconds passed and a familiar looking pretty blonde came into view. "Y/N? Y/N, hi!" The blonde waved at you enthusiastically, Heeseung was slowly being pushed out of the frame. You could tell he was scooting over to make space for Hyewon. An uneasy feeling slowly sprouted in you when you saw how Hyewon and Heeseung were sitting too close, but you shoved it down when the blonde girl grinned at you.

"Y/N!"

"Hyewon!" You responded with the same enthusiasm, which made the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.

"I'm so sorry for disturbing your time but Chan is looking for you," she apologised, the last part directed to your boyfriend.

"Ah, it's okay, I understand," you said.

"I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you," Heeseung said once Hyewon was out of frame.

"Love you too," you replied and your phone screen turned black, your reflection staring right back at you. You were frowning. With a sigh, you stuffed your phone back into your phone pocket to unlock your front door. Your coffee was now cold in your hands and the uneasy feeling from before was slowly creeping back in. You did not like it one bit.

Chaeryeong and Ryujin thought you were being dramatic, they were right in a way. But you were too busy missing Heeseung to be bothered. You missed his warmth, his voice, the way his hands perfectly fit yours when he held them. you missed the way you laid your head on his chest when he sat behind you, you could always hear his steady heartbeat. It always lulled you to sleep in seconds.

You let out a long and loud sigh as you flipped onto your back on your childhood bed. You had returned to your hometown one week ago, which also meant another week without Heeseung. Your best friend and roommate, Chaeryeong, was the one who drove you both home. The last time you saw her was when she dropped you off at your parents home. And you've been dwelling in your Heeseung-less days ever since.

Reaching over to retrieve your phone, you moved to open your chat with Heeseung. The last text message from him was from this morning. It was just a simple "good morning" text, and you replied with the same message except you added a heart emoticon at the end. And the message was on delivered. Not even on read. You don't know which one was worse.

Your phone suddenly dinged and you immediately sat up straight, thinking it was Heeseung. But your shoulders sagged in disappointment when you saw it was just a message from Jeongin. If Ryujin had seen you right now, the short hair girl would have called you a "lovesick fool". She was right, of course but still.

[2:42 pm] jeongin: guess what

[2:44 pm] chenle: what

[2:44 pm] jeongin: guess

[2:45 pm] chenle: no

[2:45 pm] chenle: just tell us

[2:46 pm] jeongin: g u e s s

[2:46 pm] chenle: n o

[2:46 pm] jeongin: guess goddammit

[2:48 pm] ryujin: jeongin i stg

[2:48 pm] ryujin: i will break ur kneecaps just tell us

[2:49 pm] jeongin: ugh fine theres a amusement park and i wanna go

[2:50 pm] chenle: its winter

[2:50 pm] jeongin: yeah and

[2:50 pm] jeongin: is there snow? no

[2:51 pm] jeongin: so therefore, amusement park

[2:51 pm] ryujin: i-

[2:52 pm] chaeryeong: where is it

[2:52 pm] jeongin: its like a 2 hours away from here

[2:54 pm] ryujin: and who tf would be driving us genius

[2:55 pm] jeongin: y/n bc she loves us

[2:56 pm] y/n: since when

[2:56 pm] chaeryeong: and shes alive, great job jeongin

[2:57 pm] chaeryeong: u pulled her out from her depression

i[2:58 pm] y/n: hey im not depressed >:(

[2:59 pm] ryujin: hm sure

[2:59 pm] y/n: >:(

[3:00 pm] y/n: also i dont have my drivers license yet dumbass

[3:01 pm] jeongin: ah right i also forgot y/n cant drive

[3:01 pm] jeongin: ryujin it is

[3:02 pm] ryujin: whAT I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS

[3:03 pm] chaeryeong: lets meet up at jeongin's place then

[3:03 pm] chenle: cool with me

[3:05 pm] ryujin: HEY DONT IGNORE ME

[3:04 pm] y/n: sure!

You stifled a laugh as you read Ryujin's message. Then, you switched to check your chat between Heeseung and you. It was still on delivered. Maybe he's just busy with filming and recording. Yeah, he's probably busy. Stop being so selfish, Y/N.

Yang Jeongin just had to choose the coldest day of the year to go to the amusement park, didn't he. You silently thanked yourself for dressing up in an extra layer, unlike Chenle who looked like he was about to die from frostbite. Whereas Jeongin had a huge grin plastered on his face as he looked at the Ferris Wheel ahead. You rubbed your hands together, bringing it to your mouth to blow hot air at it. You heard the car door slam shut behind you and Ryujin walked next to you.

Families lined up at the ticket booth, laughter and chatter filled the atmosphere. You spot some couples around the area as well, the sight of them tugged at your heartstrings. You wished Heeseung was here with you, he would've wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel with you.

Chaeryeong linked arms with you and Ryujin, leading the two of you to the entrance. The boys already beat you guys to it, you realised. Once Chenle handed you your ticket, you were immediately dragged to the first ride that caught Jeongin's eye.

After a couple of hours, you found yourself resting on the bench with a cup of hot chocolate at your side. Your social battery was empty and you didn't know where the rest of your friends had gone. Ryujin may have mentioned going to the restroom, you're not sure, you were too tired to keep up. So here you were, on the bench next to the Teacups Ride.

You watched as the visitors walked past you. Some were students with their friends laughing as if it was their last day on earth, children giggling as their parents lifted them up in the air and couples sharing a loving look. You fiddle with your phone, debating whether you wanted to text Heeseung or not.

The both of you had called each other last night. You couldn't see him but his voice sounded tired. You felt bad for calling him. Maybe it was for the best if you didn't. You picked up your hot chocolate, the warmth spreading through your fingers as you blew on it. Your body relaxed once you took a sip, enjoying as the warmth spread through your body. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a very familiar looking coat.

You saw a couple walking together, he was wearing a coat that looked identical to the one you gifted Heeseung last year during Christmas. It was almost as if that was Heeseung, well his back kinda looked like his and Heeseung was about that height as well. But it couldn't be him, his school was almost three hours away from here. Plus the girl beside him was blonde, she kinda looked like Hyewon.

What are the odds of those two being here, you laughed. But when those two stopped in their tracks to look at the Ferris Wheel, your entire body froze right there and then. That was Heeseung and Hyewon together. What were they doing here?

Your body reacted immediately by standing up. Heart beating rapidly, you were about to walk towards them when you saw Heeseung laughing at something the blonde said. A gnawing feeling grew in you, he was laughing with her. He was at the amusement park with her. Not you. Her.

And he never mentioned anything about going to the amusement park, let alone the same one you were going to. Your feet stayed glued to the ground as you watched them get into one of the carts. Why was he here? Why didn't he tell you? Why was he with her? Why? Why? Why?

You saw Hyewon stopped from getting into the cart and she stretched her hand out while she looked up in the sky, Heeseung following her. It was snowing. It was the first snow. And Heeseung spent it with Hyewon, while you watched from the sidelines. They looked like an actual couple. Snow started to fall, your hot chocolate was losing its warmth and jealousy filled up instead. The noise drilled out of your ear so all you heard was a low buzz, your gaze burning on the two. You didn't notice Ryujin walking towards you.

"Jesus, the line was so long that I-" Ryujin stopped mid sentence, her eyes following the direction of your gaze. "Y/N?"

You walked past her without saying anything, chucking the drink into a trashcan.

Your phone felt heavy in your hands as you paced around your room. You knew your eyes weren't wrong. It was Heeseung and Hyewon at the amusement park, you could tell it was him from a mile away. After that incident, you went to find your friends and told them you wanted to go home because you weren't feeling well. It was partially a lie anyway, you didn't feel comfortable. You don't know what you would do if you had stumbled upon them.

Thousands of questions echoed through your mind. And you couldn't bear to ask Heeseung. You knew you had questions but you didn't know what to ask. Why didn't you tell me? Why were you with Hyewon? Why wouldn't you tell me?

Your phone suddenly rang, causing you to jolt in surprise. The phone screen lit up with his name in bold. He was calling you. Without thinking, you accepted the call.

"Hey, love," Heeseung's smooth voice greeted you.

"Hey," you replied, making sure your tone was steady. You were silently grateful that it wasn't a video-call so he couldn't see the nervousness in your eyes.

"How was the amusement park?" He asked.

You bit your thumb, hesitant to answer. Should you tell him that you saw him today? "It was fun, a lot of people thought," you hummed, moving over to sit on your bed.

"You know, funny story. Today we actually went to an amusement park too," he suddenly said and you froze on the spot. "They decided to film there so we went there in the afternoon, it started snowing too!"

You felt a weight was lifted from your heart. So it was just a pure coincidence. Heeseung never planned to go to the amusement park, he just went with what they said. "It would've been funny if we bumped into each other, don't you think, love?" He laughed but you couldn't find the energy to laugh along.

"Yeah," you mumbled, leaning back into your pillows. He was there to film for the music video. He's busy with the music video. It's always for the music video. You trust Heeseung, don't you?

Winter break went by like the cold breeze and now cherry pink flowers occupied the empty branches. Flowers were blooming from the left and right, the cold winter was now in the past and you welcomed (the still cold) spring into your arms. Which meant you left whatever uneasy feeling and doubts in the past.

You were currently in Heeseung's dorm. Today was a big day, it's the day where they were gonna upload the music video and Heeseung wanted you to be there to watch it with him. Heeseung picked you up from the bus stop and then took you out for lunch. Thankfully it was the weekend so you could stay for the night.

Heeseung was at his desk, his thumbs typing away as he laughed silently at his phone. You wondered who he was texting. Maybe he's texting Hyewon, your mind taunted. You shook your head to drive the thoughts away, you were not going to be paranoid. You already left the bitter feelings in winter, you agreed with yourself that you'll leave it behind. You trust Heeseung.

"Who are you texting?" Yet the question slipped out of you either way.

"Huh?" Heeseung looked up, like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, uh no one," he quickly said, turning off his phone and placing it on his desk. "I think the music video is uploaded," he added before you could question him more.

He moved to his bed, where you were sitting. You scooted over to make space for him as he sat next to you with his laptop propped on his lap. He clicked into his senior's channel, Jeong Yunho, you took note. And there it was, the music video, uploaded forty five seconds ago. You let out an excited noise once you saw it.

"Not for sale," you read the title out loud. Heeseung had a proud look on.

The music video started off with a frame of Heeseung and Hyewon facing each other, then he handed her a note with the words "Not For Sale" on it. The camera then panned out to film the sky where the title appeared again in bold, and the song started to play. The song had a bubbly beat to it and Heeseung's angelic voice accompanied it. The music video was filled with pastels and some scenes were filmed at the amusement park. Specifically, at the carousel. There weren't any scenes of the Ferris Wheel though, you noted.

The video ended with Heeseung and Hyewon holding hands as they face the sunset, while the camera slowly zooms away from them and into the sky. The last scene was a black screen with all the credits listed out. When you saw Heeseung's name being credited for writing the song, you felt a sense of pride inside of you. Your boyfriend wrote this song, of course you're going to be proud.

Once the video ended, you threw your arms around Heeseung. Heeseung laughed as he wrapped an arm around your middle and the other holding onto his laptop. You planted a big fat kiss on his cheek and he tightened his hold on you.

"The song was so good, Hee! I'm so proud of you, babe," you complimented him, one hand reaching up to ruffle his hair while the other cupped his cheek.

Heeseung smiled and leaned into your touch. "Thank you so much, lovely. This song means a lot to me," he kissed your nose. "I actually thought of you when I wrote this song," he confessed.

You blinked at him, your heart beating faster as you processed his words. You were kneeling on his bed as he looked up at you, pink dusted on his cheeks. Instead of saying anything, you threw yourself onto him, tightly wrapping your arms around his torso to buried your head in his neck. Heeseung let out an "oof" when you knocked him back onto his bed, his laptop on the edge of his bed.

"I love you," you mumbled.

"I love you, too," he said. His hand reached up to stroke your head as the both of you laid there in each other's embrace.

A few minutes passed and Heeseung tapped on your head to get your attention. "Hm?" you hummed in reply.

"I need to go pee, love."

"No," you said stubbornly, tightening your arms around him.

"Please, love. I'll be back fast, I promise," Heeseung told you, looking down on you.

You lifted your head to rest your chin on his chest as you narrowed your eyes at him. "Hng, fine," you pouted before you rolled off him.

"Thank you, lovely," he pecked your lips before pushing himself off his bed, not before moving his laptop to his desk.

You watched as Heeseung left his dorm to go to the restroom. You stretched your arms upwards, making grabby hands in the air before sitting up. You reached over to his desk, which was next to the bed, to get your phone when you saw Heeseung's phone lit up. You knew you shouldn't have looked but when her name was in bold white, you couldn't look away.

[4:47 pm] hyewon: can't wait to do it again hee!

"Can't wait to do it again?" You read the message out loud. Can't wait to do what again? And since when did Hyewon called him "Hee"? That was your nickname for him. The bitter feelings from winter crept back into you like the cold seeping in through the crack of your window. Why did you feel so uneasy whenever Hyewon was alone with Heeseung? Was there something going on?

No, they're just friends, Y/N, you reminded yourself. Just friends.

The door opened and your eyes snapped up to see Heeseung returning from the restroom. Suddenly, you wanted to get out of here. You don't know why, but that text message from her just rubbed you the wrong way and you wanted to get out of there before you say something you regret.

"Ryujin just texted me that she needs my help," you lied. You stood up to grab your coat and bag from the chair.

"Woah, woah, what's with the hurry?" Heeseung took a hold of your wrist as he looked at you. But your eyes didn't meet his.

"Ryujin has an emergency, she needs my help," you said again, this time firmly.

"Oh," his grip on you loosened and you pulled your hand back to you. "I'll drive you back-"

"No, it's fine," you cut him off. "I-I'll take the bus home. I'll call you tonight," the words rushed out of your lips and soon enough you were out of his door.

You did not call him that night.

You ignored Ryujin's questions when you reached your dorm, she didn't press on. Now it was Sunday morning and Ryujin had left for breakfast. You felt bad for leaving Heeseung like that and ignoring Ryujin when she just wanted to help you. And you knew you should've talked it out instead of walking out. Sighing, you curled deeper into your blanket.

After a few minutes, you threw your covers off and sat up. Maybe some warm breakfast would make you feel better. So you went down to the cafeteria to see your friends all huddled up at the corner.

"Y/N, just in time!" Jeongin called out. Curious, you walked towards them and saw that they were watching Heeseung's music video.

"The song is so sweet," Chaeryeong cooed, leaning onto you.

You let out an awkward laugh, not quite sure what to feel because of the act you pulled yesterday.

"It has almost two thousand views. I bet you must feel so proud, huh," Chaeryeong said.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you nodded. Now you feel even more bad, Heeseung wrote this song for you and you should've stayed at his dorm to celebrate with him. Instead, you left because you saw one text message without context. You were being a bad girlfriend, you should apologise to him.

"Who's the other girl? She's really pretty," Jeongin suddenly asked.

"Ah, that's Hyewon. She's his neighbour," you explained.

"Hyewon? As in Kang Hyewon?" Daehwii suddenly said. He was passing by when he heard you say her name and pulled a chair across Jeongin. You nodded. "Oh, I know her," he casually said.

You tilted your head to the side. "You do?" Jeongin leaned forward. You heard Ryujin mumble "simp" under her breath, and you bit back a laugh.

"Mhmm," Daehwii nodded and pulled out his phone. A few seconds later, he showed his phone screen and it was Hyewon's Instagram. "I went to the same high school with her, she was really popular. All the teachers said she had the face of an actress. There was a rumour that she even got scouted by an entertainment company."

Ryujin reached over to grab his phone to scroll through her account. "Woah, she has like two hundred thousand followers," she said in amazement. You leaned closer to Ryujin to check, Hyewon sure was popular.

"Yeah, she's a free-lance model and I think she models for smaller brands," Daehwii added.

You couldn't help but feel very small next to her. She was beautiful and she had somewhat of a reputation in the entertainment industry, a rising model. Imagine what kind of connections she could get for Heeseung…

"I bet Heeseung wrote this song for you," Ryujin suddenly said, smoothly switching the topic back to the song.

You felt your cheeks to warm up at her words. Sheepishly, you nodded. Your friends immediately reacted with a chorus of "ooh"s and Chaeryeong playfully nudged your shoulder. "Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what these bitches have," Jeongin quoted and the rest of you fell into laughter.

After breakfast, you and Ryujin strolled back to your rooms with your arms linked together. She was telling you about what happened when you weren't here yesterday. "And then he said and I quote "sometimes bullying is okay" just as a family was walking by, the mom was literally glaring at us," you laughed as she told you. "And then- oh," she stopped, and you stopped as well. She was looking ahead of you so you followed her gaze.

"Heeseung?" His name left your lips before you could even process the whole situation.

Heeseung waved awkwardly at you, internally wincing when you used his full name. You and Ryujin exchanged a look before Ryujin pushed you towards him. You stumbled right into his arms but you took a step out of his arms, you rubbed your forearms instead.

"What are you doing here?" You asked him.

"Ah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I wanted to surprise you since you left early yesterday. I hope you were able to solve Ryujin's problem."

At the mention of Ryujin's "emergency", you stiffened because you didn't mention that you had used her in a lie. You could feel her eyes on you and mentally hope that she got the message.

"Uh, yeah. It was solved," Ryujin replied with an awkward chuckle. "Actually, I forgot I had to meet up with Chaeryeong so it was great seeing you, Heeseung." You turned around and mouthed a "thank you" at her and she gave you a look as if to say "we are going to talk about this later".

And then the two of you were left alone in the empty hallway. Was it always this awkward?

Heeseung stood awkwardly in your room. This was the first time he looked so out of place. Usually, you were the one at his dorm. He doesn't come over to yours that often since he was more busy than you. So it truly was a surprise when you saw him outside your door.

"So, uh, how are you?" He asked.

You hummed in reply. "I'm doing fine," as you sat down on your bed.

"Great! That's great," he coughed while he played with his fingers.

And then the awkward silence returns. You knew it was your fault for walking out yesterday, you probably made him think he did something wrong. When really it was just you refusing to communicate. You gripped your sheets, your mind running laps on what to say. But he beat you to it.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Your eyes snapped up to finally meet his eyes, he was looking at you with brown innocent eyes. Your heart broke a bit at the sight. "It's not you," you assured him. "It's…it's just me," you told him truthfully.

Heeseung looked at you with confusion, he didn't understand what was wrong. He wanted to help but he didn't know how. So instead, he slowly moved to sit next to you. When you did not move away, he took it as a sign of permission. So he took your hands into his, slowly rubbing circles on top of your hand.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

"Love, what are you even sorry about?" He softly asked.

"I saw you at the amusement park that day," you confessed.

Heeseung's fingers stopped moving. "Oh," was all he could say. You bit the inside of your cheek, the atmosphere shifted but you can't read him at all.

"I'm sorry," you whispered again because you didn't know what to say. "Ever since that day, I've been feeling weird whenever I see you with Hyewon and I don't like it."

"Love," he softly cupped your cheek to make you look at him, "are you perhaps jealous?" he asked with a teasing tone. You shifted your gaze to the side, you were jealous but you were reluctant to admit it. But your avoiding eyes already sold you out. Heeseung chuckled and brought you into his embrace. "There's nothing to be jealous of. Hyewon and I are just friends," he assured you.

His voice was genuine when he told you and you felt a sense of relief hearing him say those words. You fell forward to hug him and Heeseung immediately accepted you. He planted a kiss on the top of your head and sighed. "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"

"Okay."

Heeseung was right, honesty was the key to maintaining a healthy relationship, Heeseung has been nothing but truthful to you since the start, and you allowed yourself to be overwhelmed by your insecurities instead of talking it out. This reminded you of when Heeseung once shut you out because he didn't want to burden you.

He hid his passion for music from you because he thought you would react like his parents, against him. He refused to tell you the truth which left you confused and hurt. Did I do something wrong? The question was constantly in your head. It wasn't until you forced it out of him, and it was the first time you saw his composed figure break down in tears. You embraced him and assured him with comforting words, you loved him at his worst.

And you told him the exact same words: "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"

Exam season was the most painful time of your life. Everyday was the same routine: wake up, eat, study, sleep and repeat. You're starting to spend more time in the library than in the comfort of the dorm. Heeseung was just as busy as you, the both of you rarely have enough time to check up on each other. But you tried and so did he.

You plucked out your earphones and let it fall into your lap as you stretched your arms upwards. Chaeryeong and Ryujin were scattered around your shared room, with the latter laying face down on her bed. The three of you had spent your entire morning studying for your own examinations. You had sent Heeseung a quick good morning text before telling him that your phone will be on silent mode until you were done.

That was six hours ago. You pushed your laptop away from you as you reached over for your phone. You smiled when you saw your first notification was from your boyfriend.

[8:15 am] hee <3: okay remember to stay hydrated love! and take some breaks in between!!!

"Look at her, smiling all lovey dovey and shit," Ryujin sneered at you in disgust as she lifted herself onto her elbows.

You stuck your tongue out at her before typing a reply.

[3:52 pm] y/n: guess who's done studying?? 

While waiting for his reply, you decided to scroll through Instagram. Tapping through people's stories, you stumbled upon Hyewon's one. (She had followed you a few weeks ago.) Your thumb pressed down on your phone screen as your breath hitched. It was a photo of Heeseung, it looked like he was in the library and he was reading a book. The words "with mr. hardworking" positioned above his head. You tapped through to the next slide and it was a candid of Heeseung looking up at her with a smile, his hand outreached to grab her phone. This time the words "oops, got caught" were written on the side. You checked and saw it was posted ten minutes okay.

You frowned at the two photos. You knew Heeseung said they were just friends, but you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling away. Your mind was telling you that they weren't but your heart was with Heeseung.

"Who's that?" Chaeryeong suddenly asked.

You jump, startled. Since when was she behind you? Chaeryeong ignored your expression and leaned towards your phone. "Isn't that Heeseung? Who's he with?" She asked.

"Hyewon," you answered.

Ryujin crawled over to plop down next to you, her curious eyes peering up at your phone. "The same girl we saw at the amusement park?" The short-haired girl asked.

You looked down at her, shocked. You never told her about what you saw last winter. Ryujin understood your expression and rolled her eyes. "I'm not dumb, Y/N," she said.

Chaeryeong looked between the two of you with confusion. "Did something happen when we were at the amusement park?"

"Y/N saw Heeseung and Hyewon getting on the Ferris Wheel together."

"Ryujin!"

"What?" She shrugged at you. "We did see them there and it was the reason you were upset," she stated with her arms crossed, now sitting crossed legged next to you.

Chaeryeong gasped beside you and placed her hands in front of her mouth. "Do you think he's cheating on you?"

"Chaeryeong!" Ryujin hissed at the other girl. "Heeseung isn't the kind to do that," she defended him despite what she said before, "right, Y/N?" Ryujin nudged your elbow.

You opened your mouth to defend your boyfriend but no words were said. You bit your lips, Heeseung wouldn't be the kind to cheat, right? Then why were you hesitating? You wanted to agree with Ryujin and say that Heeseung would never cheat on you. So why were you doubting him?

"I'm just saying, long distance relationships never work out. Like Yeji and Soobin, they broke up like six months later," Chaeryeong shrugged innocently and leaned back on her hands as she spoke.

"But that was different, Yeji never really liked him anyways!" Ryujin countered.

"Vivi and Haseul! Everyone thought they were gonna last but they broke up the moment Vivi went home, and they were together for four years. Four years, Ryujin!" The younger girl exclaimed. "Point is, long distance relationships rarely work out."

Before Ryujin could retort, your phone lit up and all three of you looked down. It was a notification from Heeseung.

[4:01 pm] hee <3: hey sorry i was with taehyun

The three of you blinked at the message, Ryujin and Chaeryeong exchanged a look. While you just stared at the notification, refusing to tap into the chat. Did Heeseung just lie to you?

Something shifted in your relationship, you could tell. Calls with Heeseung were now cut short and text messages got short. At first, you blamed it on the upcoming exams and you told yourself that Heeseung was equally busy as you. Sometimes you were too tired to send a text because all you wanted was to sleep but when you tried to give him a call, he always brushed you off with a "I'm busy" text.

Text messages now never got past the "how was your day" before he said that he was going to sleep. Ever since that day with Ryujin and Chaeryeong, you turned a blind eye to the text message. Maybe he really was with Taehyun, you wouldn't actually know.

But that's the thing, isn't it? You would never know what really happens because you're not there with him, your mind taunted you. You shook away the thoughts and tried to be positive. Exams had ended a few days ago and Chaeryeong suggested that you should surprise him with a visit.

So here you were, on the bus to Heeseung's university. You could barely contain your smile, it's been so long since you last saw him and you just missed him so much. You could imagine how happy he would be to see you. An hour later, the bus came to a stop and you thanked the bus driver before boarding off.

Tightening your coat around you, you looked at the road ahead of you with a determined look. You were gonna surprise Heeseung today. And nothing was going to stop you from doing so. You reached the entrance of the school and sent a friendly smile to the security guards.

You made your way towards Heeseung's dorm, your feet have walked this path multiple times. You were familiar with these hallways. Soon enough you reached his door, you patted your clothes and fixed your hair before raising your fist. Your hand hovered in front of the wooden door, Heeseung was one door away from you.  Knocking precisely three times on the door, you took a step back and clasped your hands behind you. You couldn't wait to see his smile when he sees you.

"Surprise!" You said, doing jazz hands the moment the door opened.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked you.

You blinked, slightly lowering your hands. Heeseung wasn't smiling at you like you thought he would be, instead he was looking down on you with furrowed eyebrows. His hair was dishevelled, like he ran his fingers through it multiple times and he wasn't opening the door fully, like he was blocking something.

"I was going to surprise you, since exams are over and all-"

"Why didn't you text me beforehand?" He cut you off.

You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms, annoyed that he was questioning you instead of being happy to see you. "Because it was a surprise, Hee, that's the whole point. I wasn't supposed to tell you, surprises don't work like that."

Heeseung opened his mouth but cut himself off with a sigh, he turned his head around to look inside then back at you. "I didn't mean it that way, I just wished you would've told me before," he repeated with a softer tone this time.

You frowned and dropped your arms, you shouldn't have listened to Chaeryeong. Maybe you should leave, the next bus would be in two hours. Heeseung was still leaning against his door, you couldn't see past him. "Whatever, I'll leave then," you mumbled and waved him off, turning on your heel to walk away.

"Y/N! Wait!" Heeseung called after you but you ignored his calls and just continued forward. The taller boy caught up with you and grabbed your wrist.

You tried to shake him off but his hold on you was strong. "Let me go," you said through gritted teeth.

"No, you're mad," he said.

"Of course, I am! I wanted to surprise my boyfriend after not seeing him for weeks but he doesn't even look happy to see me!" You sneered at him, still trying to shake his hand off your wrist.

Heeseung's hands moved to hold your shoulders instead to keep you in place, forcing you to look at him. "Hey, I didn't say I wasn't happy to see you. I am happy to see you, okay? It's just that today's a busy day, love," he explained to you softly.

You stopped squirming and sighed. "Sorry, I just…I just really missed you okay," you told him. You overreacted and got mad at him without letting him explain himself. "Sorry," you said again.

Heeseung smiled warmly at you and pulled you into a hug. "It's okay, love," he planted a kiss on top of your head. You rested your chin on his shoulder and returned the hug.

Then, you watched as a certain blonde walked out of Heeseung's room. Hyewon stepped out of his room and waved at you with a smile. Was Heeseung hiding her? You slightly pushed Heeseung away and he took a step back in confusion. He turned around to see Hyewon and then back at you.

"Hyewon and I were working on a project," he quickly explained.

"Yeah," the other girl nodded in agreement. "If I had known you were coming today, I wouldn't have bothered Heeseung," she said.

"Ah, no. I'm sorry for interrupting the two of you," you apologised, slightly ducking your head. You're not sure if you meant the apology. Should you be sorry that you interrupted them? But Heeseung was your boyfriend.

"Well, I'll leave you two be," Hyewon smiled at the both of you before walking away.

You watched as Heeseung smiled at her and how his eyes followed her figure until she disappeared down the stairs. You bit your lower lip and clenched your fist together, feeling uneasy in your chest once again. Your hand reached to tug on his sleeve and he finally looked at you, like he forgot you were there in the first place.

He moved to hold your hand and lead you into his room, not before smiling softly at you. Instead of the usual feeling of butterflies in your stomach whenever he smiled at you, there was a sinking feeling. Because he smiled at Hyewon the same way. Your lips raised a small smile for him but it didn't reach your eyes. He doesn't seem to notice.

The door closed behind the two of you and you swung your arms before clasping your hands behind you. "So, what was Hyewon doing here?" You tried to ask naturally.

Heeseung wasn't looking at you when he replied, "She was here for a project," he hummed.

"What project?" You continued to ask more.

"For school," he simply replied, taking a seat on his bed.

You leaned against his desk while nodding your head. "Ah, so you're helping her?"

"Uh huh."

"Ah, didn't know you guys were this close…"

"Well, we are neighbours so it's just natural that we grew close, you know," he shrugged.

"Close enough to get on the Ferris Wheel with," you muttered under your breath. You thought Heeseung wasn't able to pick up what you said but his eyes snapped to look at you. You gulped, knowing you were caught.

"Love, I already said that we were there for the music video shooting," he told you with a tired sigh.

"I know, I know but I can't help feeling jealous, Hee," you explained yourself.

Your boyfriend sighed exasperatedly as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I already told you that we're just friends, there's nothing to be jealous of."

"Well, you would be jealous too if your boyfriend didn't mention that he was going to the amusement park with you and you found him hanging with another girl!" You scoffed sarcastically.

"I already told you it wasn't planned, Y/N. Why don't you trust me?" His voice was slightly raised when he spoke the last sentence, his expression was begging you to drop the topic.

But your stubborn self refused to let it go and stood up straighter. "Because you're making it really hard to trust you."

"What?" He looked at you in disbelief as he stood up as well. "How am I the one being hard right now? You're just being paranoid and you're letting your insecurities get the better of you!"

"Can you blame me?!" You raised your voice at him. Anger clouded your eyes as you begged him to understand your point of view. "We're so far apart and we rarely get to talk to each other and you're always brushing me off! It's almost like you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"

Heeseung groaned in frustration and dragged his fingers across his face. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're just friends, Y/N? Hyewon literally has nothing to do with this! I don't get why you hate her."

"Cause you talk to her while we're together," you knew that sounded childish and selfish but you were blurting whatever that came to mind.

"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to talk to other girls?" He curled an eyebrow at you while crossing his arms.

Your words were caught in your throat. "I didn't mean it like that-"

"Then what do you mean, Y/N? You never acted like this before," Heeseung rubbed his temples.

"Because!" You threw your hands out in frustration, trying to convey your words out, "I don't know what's happening in your life because we're not in the same school and I'm scared that you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"

Heeseung knitted his eyebrows at you, you don't know if it was from confusion or annoyance, maybe both. "Cheating? No, you just don't trust me! Never once did I doubt your relationship with Jeongin, so why are you doing this to me?"

"Don't bring Jeongin into this," you sneered at him, "you knew Jeongin since we were in high school. Hyewon is a completely different story. You…you look at her like…you're in love," your voice slowly died at the end, it was the final hit on the nail. You looked up at Heeseung, his eyes widened at your words.

They said the eyes are the window to your soul. Brown guilty eyes just stared at you, because you were right. Heeseung couldn't figure out his feelings and you just did it for him. Your boyfriend was falling out of love with you and he was falling for someone new. And you watched as he realised it right in front of you. You swore you heard your heart crack.

He held his head and took a step back from you, silence fell upon the both of you. "I-I think you should go," he managed to say.

"Yeah," you croaked out, your throat was swelling up. You walked past Heeseung in hurried steps and out the door to the stairs. You never saw how Heeseung dropped to his bed with his head in his head as guilty tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.

God, you wished he had thought this through before you went and fell in love with him.

You haven't talked to Heeseung since that day, you knew that your relationship was over but your heart refused to believe it until those words came from Heeseung himself. A dark cloud hung over you and your friends didn't dare to ask. You felt betrayed by him.

You loved him at his worst, but that didn't matter. He gave you his word, but that didn't matter too. You were bitter, angry, devastated, heartbroken. But you couldn't cry, your heart was full of tears yet nothing came out. A single piece of tape holding back your fragile heart. A small sign of hope that you were wrong and Heeseung still loved you.

In the middle of a cold winter day, you were nestled between your warm sheets. Chaeryeong and Ryujin had left for lunch, not before promising to get you something. In the midst of your dark covers, your phone screen lit up and caught your attention.

[2:23 pm ] hee <3: We need to talk, I'm outside your door right now.

What? Your head snapped up to look at your front door. There's no way he was standing outside right now. Gulping, you pushed yourself up and walked to the door. Your hand hesitated, hovering right in front of the silver door knob. You already knew what was coming. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.

The same brown guilty eyes looked at you, and the little white lies from before all came crashing down at once. You stepped to the side to let him in and closed the door. Your back was facing him, you refused to look at him. Your hope was wavering, you don't know if you accepted it or not.

"I'm sorry," he was the first to break the silence. you still refused to turn around. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Lies, lies, lies. You shut your eyes closed, your hand was still on the door knob, holding it tightly.

He inhaled a deep breath before saying his next words, "This is the end."

The words pierced your heart and it started to fall apart. This doesn't feel like a break up, it was the end of your story. It was him telling you that he was removing himself from your life. Falling out of love hurts, but losing a friend is the worst.

"Do you still love me?"

"What?"

"Do you still love me?" You finally turned around, your glossy eyes looking right at him.

Without a heartbeat, he said, "No."

And when you were alone again in your room, your heart finally shattered and the tears poured out like a waterfall. You fell to your knees with your hands clutching your heart, ugly sobs escaped from your lips. You were crying out the pain as big fat tears dropped onto the wooden floor,

Chaeryeong and Ryujin nearly dropped the food when they found you broken on the tear stained floor.

Two weeks later (after being forced to get out of bed by Ryujin), you found your friends huddled at the same place of the cafeteria like when the music video was released. They were surrounding Daehwii with their heads ducked, whispering to each other.

"What are you guys doing?" Ryujin's voice caught their attention and their heads lifted to see the both of you, eyes widening at the sight of you.

Everyone exchanged nervous glances whereas you and Ryujin were left confused. You tilted your head to the sign to show that you were confused while Ryujin raised an eyebrow as if  demanding an explanation. Chaeryeong shoved Daehwii's shoulder and gave him a look, silently telling him to break the news.

Daehwii nervously looked between you and his phone before sighing, his shoulders dropping. Instead of saying anything, he showed you his phone. Ryujin reached over to take the device from him before you could see anything and squinted her eyes. The short haired girl inhaled a sharp breath and looked at your friends, finally understanding what was happening. She then looked at you, deciding whether she should tell you or not.

"What?" You asked her, your eyebrows furrowed as your patience was running thin. What were they not telling you?

But instead of telling you, she showed you. The phone screen displayed an Instagram post with a person holding hands with someone else. The caption was a simple "with him". At first you were confused on what it had to do with you, then Ryujin tapped on the post to show you the person tagged in the post. Heeseung's username appeared, your eyes travelled up to the owner of the post and it read Hyewon's name.

"Oh," was all you could say.

Your gaze averted down and you don't see how your friends exchange worried glances. "Y/N..." Chaeryeong softly called out to you while she walked towards you. She angled her head to look at your face with her arms around you.

Your mind was a mess, it took him two weeks to find someone new. No, not someone new. It took him two weeks to go off and date her. He talked to her when you were together. And you knew if he truly loved you, there was no damn way he could fall in love with somebody that quickly. Ryujin and Chaeryeong embraced you but you felt numb. He betrayed you. And you knew that he'll never feel sorry for the way you hurt.

"He cheated on you," you heard Jeongin say, but you shook your head as you tried to rub the tears away.

"Guess he didn't cheat but he's still a traitor," Jeongin rephrased.

The girls hugged you tighter when you let out a choked sob. Jeongin was right, he didn't cheat but he was a traitor. You played dumb but you always knew that he'd talk to her, maybe did even worse but you kept quiet so you could keep him.

God you wished that he had thought it through, before you went and fell in love with him.

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: this took so long to write and i wrote more than i expected. thank you for waiting and reading this, see y'all in "drivers license"!

[dokifluffs]

Falling Asleep on Him | Kenma, Kuroo

Pairings: Kenma X Reader (gender neutral), and Kuroo X Reader (gender neutral) ft. Kenma

Genre: some more fluff to read before bed 🥰

Author’s Note: im always soft 

Warning: post time skip kenma! 

Falling Asleep on Them | Tsukishima, Akaashi, Iwaizumi // Falling Asleep on Them | Oikawa, Atsumu // Falling Asleep on Them | Yamaguchi, Ushijima, Osamu 

Kenma: 

“Thank you ‘NekoKitty33,’ for subscribing,” Kenma read the viewer’s name from his second monitor as he focused on the game on his primary monitor

His usual setup was adjusted so he sat on the floor instead of at his usual desk with the camera pointed toward him

Today, you were his special guest, appearing in the famous Kozume livestream for charity event

His viewers loved it when Kenma had you as his guest- his comments reading about how much calmer he was, not easily fazed by losing or anything

This also meant that he was actually eating since you fed him fruits, fries, whatever food you had hand or had ordered

His room was chilled to his liking, always keeping him and his set top cool from any overheating, the cloudy light shining through his window onto the two of you from the side, the lights behind his monitors and in the background changing

About a couple of hours had passed with kenma playing his third game, soon changing to his next game

His voice was always so soothing to you and you got to hear it as he read out his viewers gifts and donations as well as as he talked with his teammates

You sat beside him, watching as his character flashed around playing fortnite with his teammates, exchanging guns and potions

His team won and had been winning all day

“Alright guys, we hit the $5k milestone for charity, this means Y/N will get to do my hair and we’ll answer some questions that you guys send in.”

He slipped off his headset and set the controller down as you grabbed the hair ties and brush. You had been thinking about what to do about his hair- either space buns or pigtails but you settled for space buns, adding in sailor moon clips to get the full meatball bun effect

“Pff, thank you,” he laughed seeing the reveal. “And someone asked what do you wanna do if you weren’t here today,” he looked to you

“Mmm maybe a nap,” you said slowly, unsure of really what to say cause you had nothing else planned regardless

“Are you tired?” Kenma asked, brushing your hair from your face

“A little,” you yawned, his fingers intertwined with your hair, his chat blowing up with all the comments about how soft the Kodzuken was for you. “I didn’t sleep too well last night,’ you yawned once again, smiling softly to kenma, forgetting you were on a stream in front of thousands

The two of you answered a couple more questions before he returned back to his charity stream

You sat closely beside him after the little break, grabbing a spare blanket to drape over your laps and a pillow for you to hold

You didn’t even realize your breathing slowing, your focus wavering as you drifted

Kenma felt the slightest bump in his shoulder, glancing to find you dozing off. He moved his character to a safer area before returning his attention to you

“Hold on guys,” set down his controller and moved your head to his lap, moving so the blanket covered you more as he continued to play on, your arms hugging the pillow snuggly. “Alright, im back,” his chat blowing up once again

“Thank you for being here, today,” he smiled to himself

Kuroo: 

“You need to treat ‘y’ as an implicit function of ‘x’ here,” Kuroo’s voice droned in the bedroom as he tutored Kenma with his Calculus, a class he already took around his first year at Nekoma

It amazed you how he remembered it, making it look so easy- though he had to read through Kenma’s textbook to refresh his memory

The fan blew around the room, keeping it cool as the three of you sat in his spacious room, getting all the math for an upcoming exam drilled into your head

It had been like this for the past two to three days without their practice taking too much time

Kuroo had been tutoring the two of you since the end of junior high to still now in his third year

Every time there were upcoming tests, exams, he made sure the two of you were familiar enough with the content to do well

You yawned for the nth time, feeling your mind spin as your eyes closed, the hot tears streaming from your tired eyes and down your cheeks

“Are you crying?” Kuroo glanced over, his arms and legs crossed as he sat straight up

“No, I’m just tired, I didn’t sleep well last night,” you pouted, resting your chin on the table, seeing your notes up close

“Sleep well tonight then, your tests are coming.” He glanced back over to kenma. “Also finish your practice problems I made for you.” He poked your forehead, getting a groan out of you

You huffed out a deep breath and continued doing your practice problems, only having a few left

The sounds of your pencil working on your notebook began to drag, your eyes struggling to stay open

You could feel your head swaying in little circles as you refrained yourself the best you could to stay awake

You needed to finish the problems or else you would have to stay up late again to study more yourself

Kuroo’s attention shifted to you seeing the way you moved in his peripheral vision, your pencil and hand no longer doing any more work he had set for you

You gave in, no longer able to stay awake anymore. You desperately needed sleep

Just as your head was about to collide with the table, Kuroo’s hand caught your forehead, the back of his hand being the only contact made with the wooden table

“How long did you stay up for?” He asked himself even though it was directed toward you but there was no way he was going to get an answer out of you

The warmth of his hand relaxed your head and body

He pulled your body closer to his, resting your back to the side of his torso, his hand loosely wrapped around you waist and resting on your hip

“I want to sleep, too,” Kenma yawned

“Finish the problem first and then sleep,” Kuroo slid the notebook toward his childhood friend, a clear sigh coming from him as he looked back down to you, seeing your face close up

“Rest well,” he mumbled to the crown of your head, letting you rest instead of waking you after seeing the bags beneath your eyes, how comfortable you were resting against him

He rubbed your hip a little before continuing his lesson with Kenma, working through the problem, keeping his voice down to not wake you

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

Tags (let me know if you wanna be tagged for all my haikyuu posts): @yams046  @mazey-chan  @sunboikyo00  @kara-grayson04​  @fortheloveofbakugo​ @tsumtsumsemi​ @osamuonigiri @1-800-wholesome @yamagucci​ @realityisoftendisapointing@plantisnotplant @k-eijiakaashi​ @pink-panda-pancakes​ @differentballooncollection​ @osamusamusamu@therainroguefanfiction​ @euphorihan@turquoiselace​ @macaronnv  @oxmaddy​ @mrkoala4prsdnt​ @curiouslilbeast​ @oyasenpai​​ @plantisnotplant

[seita]

— don’t ask | hitoshi shinsou (m.)

pairing: hitoshi shinsou/f!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

wordcount: 𝟷𝟹𝟻𝟿𝟶

cw: roommate!au, sugar baby!au

tags: heavy pining, arguments, briefly ft.kaminari, rejection, possessiveness, jealousy, crying, dirty talk, pet names, dom!shinsou, fingering, riding, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, praise (?), marking, creampie, angst with a happy ending.

note: this is a thank you for 5k followers! i can’t believe i hit such a milestone in only like a month and a half! i appreciate the love and support everyone has given me and i promise to put out more quality content going forwarad!

— you thought it was strange a guy your age made such good money by seemingly doing nothing. whenever you would question him about his income, he’d grow defensive. once a month, a left the house for a few days; leaving to perform a mysterious job he didn’t want you to know about.

⇦ back to navigation

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.  

When you saw the flier for someone looking for a new roommate, you honestly thought it was one big scam. You assumed that the second you set up a meeting, you would be kidnapped and never seen again. 

Being a lowly college kid meant you didn’t have your sea legs in the adult world quite yet. Swamped with studies, horrible at managing your time and your stress levels, you were left a constant mess. So, your solution was to stick to studying for the most part and work part-time so the job didn’t take up too much of your time. 

Another genius idea you had was the age-old roommate situation. You started out looking for listings online for preferably Musutafu or Tokyo. Alas, you came up with nothing after a handful of weeks and were intending to give up. 

However, a stop by the grocery store changed everything. It was a flyer for someone looking for a roommate in an area of Tokyo that you knew to be pretty pricey. 

It was close enough to your college campus so you wouldn’t have to worry about a stupid commute. You thought it was too good to be true as you looked at the information stating you wouldn’t even need to pay rent. You’d simply have to split some bills and buy your own groceries. 

The idea of not having to shell out hundreds of dollars a month was appealing on its own; you’d definitely be able to save with a living situation like that. 

The logical side of you was weary, however. The entire thing could be a ploy to trick some unsuspecting victim, like yourself, into who knows what. 

Still, it probably wouldn’t hurt to contact the person just in case it wasn’t a trick. No harm in checking, you supposed. 

Tugging the flyer down from where it was pinned up on the bulletin board, you folded it up and tucked it away in the front pocket of your purse to take care of when you got home from classes. 

All of that led you to meeting one Hitoshi Shinsou. He was a tall, tired looking guy around your age. His most prominent feature was the fluffy mess of purple hair that was atop his head. When you first met him, he fixed you with a cold gaze ― his purple irises burning holes into you. And for a second you were sure that you were right on your hunch and you were never going to return home. 

Nothing of consequence happened, naturally, and instead he showed you the bedroom you would be using and handed you a key before sitting down on the couch to watch TV. The whole exchange was unlike anything you expected. When you questioned him he simply told you he’d get everything straight for you and that you could begin to move in whenever. 

So you did.

As expected of such an expensive apartment, the room you were given was great. It was roomy and nothing like you assumed you would wind up with. Most college students wind up with a shitty roommate, a one-bedroom apartment, and instant ramen for dinner every night. 

Instead you got the chillest roommate known to mankind. Shinsou barely even made a peep. Most of the time you found him relaxing in front of the TV watching murder documentaries. You did learn that the poor guy had insomnia and as a result was up almost every night. Sometimes you would catch him snoozing on the couch but that rarely lasted more than 2 or 3 hours before he was up and about once again. 

You did learn that the man was a lousy cook so he mostly lived on instant ramen before you moved in. Luckily for him, you enjoyed cooking and decided to be the one to make meals for the two of you. To say Shinsou was appreciative was an understatement. 

Simply put, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. 

And so bloomed an easy friendship with him. Shinsou made it easy to befriend, although he was a quiet guy he was funny and charismatic; the type of guy who probably had a lot of friends. 

You lived there for about a month when you noticed the first weird disappearance. 

You had been laying in bed, eyes closed as you slowly began to drift off to the white noise of your overhead fan. 

What lulled you from your daze was the beep of the alarm at the front door. Sitting up, you listened carefully only to hear a couple beeps and the click of the door shutting. 

Frowning, you got out of the bed and wrapped your blanket around your shoulders to shield yourself from the chilled apartment air. Your footsteps were silent as you padded your way to the entryway. You immediately noticed that Shinsou’s shoes were gone from where they should have been sitting beside the front door. 

You checked his bedroom to find that he was, indeed, not there. You simply assumed he had gone for a walk or to a convenience store or something since he couldn’t sleep and went back to bed. That was certainly not something uncommon for the insomniac you called a roommate. 

When you got up in the morning, however, you noticed he was still gone. 

You wandered into the kitchen, intending to open the fridge to start something for breakfast only to find a cute cat-themed sticky note plastered to the front of it. Written in your roommates sloppy handwriting was “I won’t be home for a few days.”

Short and to the point but still causing questions to arise in response. 

You had no choice but to carry on. You could text him and question him but you had a feeling you wouldn’t actually get any information. 

Two days was how long he was gone for. He turned on the second night, looking as tired as usual. 

“I’m home,�� he called with a heavy sigh, kicking his shoes off before dropping the heavy duffle bag he carried to the floor. 

“Hey,” you greeted over the back of the couch, “I uh...made dinner but I didn’t make any for you. I didn’t know when you’d be home.”

“It’s fine, I already ate anyway,” he hummed, dropping his full weight onto the empty cushion beside you. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. 

You eyed him and decided to simply not ask about the hickey on his pale skin. 

The time ticked past midnight and you stood up, yawning as you stretched, “I’m heading to bed.”

“Alright,” he mumbled, finally stealing the remote from you, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Hey…” you paused at the entrance to the hallway, deciding to chance it, “Where did you go anyway?”

“...To work,” he replied, simply. 

His tone held a sense of finality to it, leaving no room for you to inquire exactly what that meant. So, with a final bid, you went to your bedroom. 

It was almost like deja vu, laying in bed as you fell asleep only to hear the beeping of that alarm. You sat up and climbed out of bed, intending to catch Shinsou before he was gone but as you reached the living room, you heard the front door click shut and he was gone. 

Sighing, you wandered to the kitchen to find another note like you’d seen last time stuck to the fridge. 

As you glanced at the calendar on the wall, you realized it was almost exactly a month since the last time he did this ― you remembered because he left on the 23rd and it was currently the 22nd. You could practically feel the dots forming but you had absolutely no way of connecting them. 

Deciding to retire to bed, you attempted to sleep but found yourself thinking of Shinsou. 

Two months in a row he vanished around the same time, in the middle of the night leaving only a note. Now that you thought about it, he didn’t seem to have a job ― he only said his disappearance was part of his job. But he came back with a hickey. 

Sighing, you rolled over and attempted to fall asleep. 

Two days later, he came home. 

“I’m back,” he grumbled. 

Immediately, you noted the aggravated tone to his voice. Sitting up from where you were sprawled out on the couch, you eyed him. Instead of just dropping his duffle bag like he had last time, he took it straight to the laundry room. 

As he disappeared into the kitchen, you got up and followed him. He was squatting on the floor, rummaging through the bag as he tossed out pieces of clothing. You leaned on the door jam with your arms folded on your chest. Whether or not he knew you were there, you didn’t know. 

“There’s some dinner left for you,” you said softly, watching him pause and look over his shoulder at you.

“I already ate,” he replied, voice cold. 

You frowned, standing up straight, “Alright, well…” you sighed, “I’ll wrap it up and put it in the fridge in case you get hungry tonight.”

He didn’t reply but you kept watching him. He moved to fully sit on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him with a grunt. You noticed that he was separating the clothes into two piles. Closer inspection brought your attention to the price tags attached to the clothes in one pile. 

You found yourself wondering where he got those clothes from but you decided not to ask. He seemed to be in a rather sour mood. 

He left the new clothes on the floor and dumped the others into the washing machine. With quick efficiency, he started the cycle and stuffed the remaining clothes back into his bag. 

You backed up to allow him to leave the laundry room. His shoulders were stiff and his posture was tense. It was a complete 180 from how you usually saw him. 

“You um...you alright?”  you finally asked when he sat down on the couch. 

He barely spared you a glance before propping his feet up on the coffee table, turning the TV on. Realizing you weren’t getting a response, you attempted to brush off the brief anger that flashed through you and instead went to the kitchen to clean everything up. 

You didn’t know why he was being so rude to you ― it’s not like you did anything to him. Deciding to just head to your bedroom to study, you shut off the kitchen light and skirted behind the couch to avoid getting in his way of the TV. 

He didn’t say a word as you disappeared down the hallway. 

As opposed to last time, his ‘work’ seemed to have not gone too well this time around. At least the last time, he was just tired and feeling lazy. 

You could still hear the TV going when you put all your stuff away and crawled into bed. 

The next morning, you awoke with a sigh. Sitting up, you stretched until you felt your joints pop.

As you wandered out of your bedroom, you heard the shower going, indicating Shinsou was still around. Not that you were expecting any different. 

You fixed a quick, simple breakfast for you and Shinsou, hearing the shower turn off as you finished. Wiping your washed hands on your pants, you made your way to the bathroom.

You only got to knock on the door once before it was yanked open. Suddenly, your mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. 

He stood there, his usual fluffy hair flattened and hanging haphazardly around his face. He wore his usual bored expression despite the fact he was standing there, dripping wet with only a towel around his waist. Immediately, you got a whiff of his body wash and shampoo, making you swallow thickly. 

Fuck, he smelled really good. You always thought so, when he sat on the couch beside you, you could always smell that delicious, musky scent of his body wash mixed with the spice of his cologne. But freshly washed with it, you were nearly salivating at the smell. 

“Um…” you swallowed thickly, tearing your gaze away from the well built muscles under those baggy clothes he always wore, “B-Breakfast is ready…”

“Okay,” he mumbled, moving to skirt around you. 

You sighed, assuming he was still in a shit mood again. Running a hand through your hair, you shook the delectable sight of him fresh out of the shower from your mind. As you went to go back to the kitchen, a large hand grappled around your wrist. 

“Hey,” he mumbled. You looked over your shoulder to see him nervously rubbing the back of his neck, a habit you’d seen numerous times before, “I’m sorry...about yesterday.”

“Huh?” you raised a brow, trying to ignore how big his hand was around your wrist. 

“I was in a shit mood and I took it out on you,” he explained, “So I’m sorry about that.”

“Oh,” you relaxed slightly and smiled, realizing he was actually in a decent mood today, “It’s okay.”

He gave you his own relieved smile, making your heart lurch in your chest at the sight. It was rare to see any other expression beyond that tired, bored look he always wore. Finally releasing his hold on your wrist, he spoke again, “Let me get dressed and I’ll come eat.”

“Alright,” you nodded, biting your lip as he turned his back to you. As he walked you could see the way the muscles flexed under the skin. 

When he finally vanished through his bedroom door, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Shaking your head you moved back to the kitchen intending to stuff your face to forget about how hot Hitoshi Shinsou really was. 

Before, you thought he was good looking. Usually dark circles were unbecoming but they looked almost at home on his face. His skin was nearly flawless and looked soft to the touch ― you’d seen the skincare products housed in his cabinet. It was expensive shit too. Seriously, what was the guy's job?

That thought had your mind wandering back to the monthly disappearances. 

The chair scraped against the floor as he came back ― wearing a baggy t-shirt and black sweats. He immediately dug in and began to eat. 

“So...I have to ask,” he paused, brows coming together in a scowl as you uttered those words.

“Don’t ask,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

“I just wanted to ask...if this is a monthly thing. I’ve only been here for 2 so...I just wanted to make sure,” you clarified, watching his shoulder relax. He seemed extremely defensive over any questions related to his ‘job’, you noted. 

“Yeah. Once at the end of the month I leave for two days to work,” he answered simply, obviously avoiding giving any more information that you could feed off of. 

He was smart at least. 

The sun finally dipped below the horizon and the two of you were sitting on the couch watching TV. He had some documentary on but truthfully you weren’t paying a whole lot of attention to it. 

For some reason, your mind kept bringing you back to the sight that morning of Shinsou. As you looked at him sitting beside you, arm tossed casually over the back of the couch as he slouched with his legs spread, you found yourself admiring him. 

He had a sharp jaw and pretty lips. A look lower, your eyes landed on his hands ― long, pretty fingers with prominent veins beneath the pale skin. 

Suddenly, his sharp gaze cut from the TV to you and you found yourself locked in a gaze with him for a split second before you broke away to look at the TV once more. In your peripheral, you swear you saw a smirk crossing his face. 

But he didn’t comment and for that, you were thankful. 

You bid him goodnight and as usual, he stayed up. You began to wonder if the man even tried to sleep anymore. 

You stepped into the bathroom, warning your roommate that you were taking a shower. He shouted back a simple ‘okay’ before you shut the door. 

You stepped under the stream of water after stripping, the steam of the hot water filling the bathroom and relaxing your muscles. You tipped your head back to wet your hair, humming to yourself. 

You eyed Shinsou’s body wash sitting in the purple caddy handing on a hook on the wall. It brought you back to how nice he smelled when he was close to you. When you could feel his body warmth radiating off of him. You would look at him, his shoulders broad and his body warm and inviting. It was nearly impossible to resist the urge to cuddle yourself into his chest. 

You wondered what it would be like to lay against him, his arms wrapped around you as he softly stroked your skin. Maybe he would press a soft kiss to your forehead ― the idea alone made you melt. 

Realizing you had lost yourself in thought, you hurried to finish your shower and get to bed. 

You fell asleep with Shinsou on your mind that night. 

Shinsou’s third monthly work time finally rolled around once again. This time, you stayed up late so Shinsou had no choice but the interact before he left. You were hoping to maybe get more hints about what it is he did. 

He shut his bedroom door, hoisting his duffle bag over his shoulder with a grunt. You were surprised to see him in actual clothes ― rather nice ones as well. 

His jeans fit him perfectly and the button down shirt he wore was tucked in, showing off his lean figure. The belt buckle on his jeans indicated it was name brand and you found yourself wondering how much his job even paid. 

“I’ll be home same as usual,” he mumbled, bending down to slide his shoes on at the door. He looked so good doing just a simple task and you found your heart racing in your chest. His shoulders were accented so well by his shirt. The sleeves were rolled up halfway on his forearms and there was an expensive looking watch on one of his wrists. 

Butterflies erupted in your stomach as he opened the door ― suddenly finding that you didn’t want him to leave. 

“Um…” you called, making him pause in the open door, looking over his shoulder with a brow raised in question, “You...uh…” you struggled to find something to say but he waited patiently for you to form your next words, “Have a nice time...come home soon.”

Your heart thudded painfully as you watched his gaze soften, a smile forming on his lips as he nodded, “I’ll see you later, ______.”

Your ears were ringing as he shut the door, the sound of your name coming from his lips echoing in your head. You sunk down onto the couch, hand on your chest as you came to a startling realization. 

You had a crush on your roommate. 

Living with Shinsou after coming to terms that you had a crush on him was...difficult to say the least. Simple things he did that you used to pay no mind to, you now found yourself getting jittery at the sight. 

Like the way he rubbed his eyes with a fist when he woke up from a nap on the couch, a sound you could only describe as a whine coming from his throat as he sat up. 

The day your kitchen sink stopped working and he had to fix it was one you wouldn’t ever forget. He was leaning beneath the sink, in the cabinet on his back as he fiddled with some tools on the pipes. His white t-shirt became see-through as he sweat from the hard work, his biceps flexing with every movement he made. His shirt rode up a bit over his stomach, exposing his abs that moved and rippled with every movement. His sweats were riding low on his hips, exposing that delicious v-line and happy trail that vanished beneath the band.

The worst part was the way you could see everything in those gray sweatpants he wore. You were pretty sure he wasn’t wearing any underwear. 

You had to leave the room and hide in your bedroom with the window open until he finally finished fixing it. 

You definitely didn’t let your hand slide down your panties to the mental image of him that night. 

Despite living together for nearly four months, you knew close to nothing personal about Shinsou. Putting aside his weird, shady two-day job once a month, you didn’t have anything else to go off of on who he was. 

He was a quiet guy who liked documentaries, video games, and had insomnia. He really loved to eat breakfast foods and cats. Although you hadn’t been in his room even once, only had a couple peeks inside, you knew he owned some cat-themed stationary at the very least. 

Despite his cold appearance, he was actually quite kindhearted and gentle but seemed to have no desire to show it unless necessary. One time, you cut your finger while cooking and you swear you’d never seen him run faster to get a bandaid from the bathroom ― one with a cat on it, no less. 

You still remember the feeling of his hand holding yours and how close his face was as he inspected the cut. You could have leaned in and kissed him so easily then. 

And god was that tempting. 

So lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize the glass you were holding in your hand slipped free until it shattered in a million pieces across the linoleum floor. You gasped, startled as you looked around for a way to escape but a single step in an area you thought was clear brought a cry from your lips as you stepped on the tiny shards. 

You heard a loud thump from the living room where he had been playing a video game before the thundering footsteps raced into the kitchen. Shinsou’s eyes were wide, like he was terrified of what he would find. 

“Don’t move,” he snapped, noting the way you leaned against the counter to take your injured foot off of the ground. He opened the storage cabinet and pulled out the broom and dust pan. 

It took only a few minutes for him to clean it up enough to get to you safely on his own bare feet. Instead of you limping your way to the living room however, you found yourself swept off your feet. 

Your heart raced so hard, you could hear it pounding in your ears. You were cradled against his chest, so warm and firm with his strong arms beneath your knees and shoulders. His heavenly scent surrounded you ― more intense than you’d even smelt it before. As you finally got a close look, you took notice of how his long lashes framed his pretty eyes. 

All too soon, you were placed on the couch and he was disappearing down the hall with quick efficiency. You were still stunned from being in his arms that you barely noticed he had returned until he was on his knees in front of you. 

Immediately, your cheeks bloomed hot with a blush. The image of him on his knees like that immediately sent your mind to a wicked place. 

Luckily your dirty mind was stopped in its tracks when he began pulling glass from your foot.

You gasped in pain, attempting to pull away on reflex but he held strong, sharp gaze burning holes into you.

“Sit still,” he growled, sending a shiver down your spine. 

His voice was so low, so commanding that you found yourself immediately doing what he said. You always were weak to a dominant man. 

Soon enough, your foot was cleaned and he deemed that the bleeding had stopped.

“It’ll probably hurt like hell for a little while when you walk on it,” he warned, packing the first aid away. 

“Thanks Hitoshi,” you smiled, earning a soft nod of acknowledgement from the man. 

The memory of being in his arms, even for that brief moment, was imprinted in your mind. As you laid in bed, you thought about it. It made your stomach flutter in excitement as you fell asleep. 

The fourth monthly job for Shinsou came and unfortunately, you missed him leaving. You had stayed up studying and as a result fell asleep earlier than usual. When you woke up he was already gone and you were left with a painful throb in your heart. 

You missed him. 

As you lazed on the couch, you found your mind wandering to him again. Like always. It was like your mind was cursed. 

You wondered if he thought about you at all. The idea made you feel giddy and you had to bite back a smile. You felt like a silly schoolgirl with your crush ― the way he made your stomach flutter, your heart race, and your cheeks burn was getting ridiculous. It wasn’t like you could confess, he hadn’t given much of a hint that he even thought of you as a friend. Plus, you weren’t sure if you were willing to give up the killer apartment and perfect roommate gig you currently had with a foolish confession. 

You heaved a sigh, sitting up with a new idea in mind. 

A way that you could learn more about him.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the...most noble means. 

Standing outside his bedroom door, you bit your lip. It felt wrong to go into his room without permission. It wasn’t like he went into your room ― as far as you knew, who knows what he did while you were at school or working. 

The metal doorknob was cold in your palm as you turned it and pushed it open with a soft click.

You’d seen his room in quick glances before when he opened it but you’d never gotten to fully inspect it. He had a large bed that took up the most space in his room. Situated on a dresser at the end of the bed was a TV, a Playstation set up beside it. Against the opposite wall was a desk with a gaming computer setup and a red and black gaming chair pushed in neatly. 

There were a few articles of clothing littering the floor around his laundry basket and his closet was partly open to reveal his primarily monochromatic wardrobe choices. 

Walking into the bedroom, you immediately got a whiff of his cologne, making you smile at the addictive scent. You took a seat on the edge of his bed, the black comforter incredibly soft beneath your hands. 

You leaned forward and opened his nightstand drawer, finding nothing too interesting ― a picture of him standing with a smiling boy with crazy green hair, a pink-skinned girl, and a beaming red-haired guy. 

You hadn’t really given it much thought ― that he had friends. He didn’t really talk about anyone, in fact you never heard him mention anyone in his life besides his mom a few times. You did note that he texted on his phone quite a lot and sometimes you could hear him laughing and cursing from his bedroom as he played a video game. You wondered what his friends' names were, what they were like ― what it was like to be friends with Shinsou. 

What you wouldn’t give to be someone...important in his life. 

Sighing, you closed the drawer and moved to his dresser. Your own thoughts caused your heart to ache and you tried to brush it off by looking through the drawers for something interesting. 

Fortunately, you got what you wished for. 

The last drawer to the right contained a little black metal box buried beneath some clothes. You pulled it out and took a seat on the floor, pressing the button to open it. It popped open and you gaped at what you saw. 

It was filled with money. More money than you’d probably ever seen in your whole life. The bills were wrapped together with rubber bands ― there had to be thousands of dollars in even a single stack. As you pulled out the bundles, you found that there were things located beneath them. 

Jewels; all types. Diamond rings, necklaces, bracelets, ruby and emerald gems decorating them. You pulled out a ring and held it up, watching as he gleamed under the light. 

You tucked everything back inside the box and hid it back the way you found it, shutting the drawer before standing up. 

You had no idea what to think as you shut his door once again, moving to your own room. How could he have all that money hidden away like that? It was certainly shady. 

Perhaps it was counterfeit? Or maybe he stole it! 

And what about those jewels? Did he steal those too? Why were they hidden instead of sold off somewhere?

You had so many questions and absolutely no answers. 

Suddenly you were regretting going snooping in his room. 

The fifth month of living with him would have to be where things started to go downhill. 

He came home from his weekend away, tired and grumpy, just wanting a relaxing shower. However, you hadn’t realized he was home so in your tired, sleep-filled daze you stumbled to the bathroom with the urgent need to pee. 

You pushed the bathroom door open and halted in your tracks, heart stopping in your chest at the sight of shirtless Shinsou. 

He had his back to you, displaying the angry red scratch marks that raked down the pale skin of his back, making them stand out even more. He realized you were there and spun around, eyes narrowed in a glare. With his chest in view, you could see all the hickeys and bites that trailed down  his body, disappearing in the hem of his jeans that he had yet to shed.

“Get the hell out,” he snapped, ripping the door from your hand before slamming in shut in your face. 

You stared at the wood for several, long seconds, stunned. You heard the shower start and snapped out of your daze. Forgetting your once desperate need to pee, you trudged back to your  bedroom and quietly shut the door. 

You weren’t a fool ― you knew exactly what those marks meant. You crawled under the covers and found yourself wondering what kind of woman got Hitoshi Shinsou’s attention enough to get him into bed. 

And what did she have that you didn’t?

Truth be told, you couldn’t even imagine him as the type to sleep around. He wasn’t exactly sociable and he rarely seemed to go out of his way to interact even with his friends.

You could hear the shower turn off and you were suddenly reminded of the way he slammed the door in your face ― the ache from realizing he’d been with someone else only exacerbated by the knife of his shouting at you. 

You closed your eyes and attempted to sleep, ignoring the sting behind your eyes. 

The next morning, you found yourself not wanting to get out of bed. You could hear Shinsou shuffling around the house, doing god knows what. You heard him walk down the hallway, heart freezing as he stopped in front of your bedroom door. 

You closed your eyes, willing him to go away. 

Luck was not on your side, however, as he knocked thrice on your door. It was loud enough that you knew you wouldn’t be able to feign sleeping through it. 

You sighed and crawled out of bed and trudged over to the door, pulling it open just a bit to get a look at him. 

He had his head down, hand clasped around the nape of his neck with his other hand shoved in his pocket. He looked up when he heard the door open, brows drawn together as he gazed at you partially hiding behind the door. 

“I uh…” he cleared his throat, “I went out and picked us up some breakfast.”

“Oh…” you shifted on your feet awkwardly, nodding your head, “Thanks...I’ll eat later.”

You were about to close the door, desperate to escape the burning in your eyes as you remembered last night. Before it could close, however, he shoved his hand in the crack. You paused, not wanting to crush his hand in the door. You let him push it open to show more of you ― clad in shorts and an oversized t-shirt that you loved to sleep in. Thankfully the shirt was big enough that he wouldn’t be able to tell you weren’t wearing a bra. 

“I have to apologize,” he grunted, meeting your gaze, “I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that last night. I was just ticked off…” he trailed off.

You bit your lip, “I uh...I didn’t know you were home...so that’s why I just...walked in…” 

He shook his head, “No I understand, really. Y-You just surprised me and I reacted. I really need to stop taking my shit out on you, I’ll work on that, really. I shouldn’t have slammed the door like that either. It was a shit night but it wasn’t your fault you didn’t know I came home.”

“I-It’s alright, Hitoshi, really,” you smiled, though it faltered a bit at the memory of those scratches and hickeys.

“I...hope you’re not hiding away in here because I upset you,” he muttered, making you frown once more.

“What do you mean?” you questioned.

He bit his lip, looking away awkwardly, “you’re usually up around 10 and it’s...getting close to noon. You don’t do that normally so...I can only think you were trying to avoid me and that’s the last thing I want. This is your home too and I never want you to feel like you can’t be comfortable here.”

You gaped at him, processing what he was telling you. First, he paid close enough attention to you that he knew what time you got up ― that thought made happiness bloom in your chest and second, that was probably the most you’d heard him say in one sitting.

“It’s okay now, Hitoshi,” you smiled, “let me get dressed and I’ll be out to eat, okay?”

He smiled, making your cheeks burn at the sight as he nodded, turning away from you to move back to the living room. You closed your door and sighed. 

It was crazy how just a simple smile from him had your heart fluttering. However, it was quickly halted by the memory that he had someone ― maybe it was a girlfriend. That made your chest ache and you bit your lip to halt those negative feelings as you stripped and changed out of your pajamas. 

You had no idea how you were going to get past the painful clench in your chest every time you looked at him now. 

Month six rolled around and nothing very interesting happened. Shinsou moved his playstation into the living room so the two of you could play some games together. It was a fun bonding experience and you got to watch the way his eyes would light up whenever he beat you. The sound of his laugh still rang in your ears and you couldn’t help but smile every time you thought back to that pretty smile of his. 

It became a weekly thing for the two of you, every Friday night you would sit down on the couch together and play into the early hours of the morning. You got to know more about Shinsou than you had ever before. 

Sometimes he would jerk his body and brush against yours, sending goosebumps across your skin. He was always so warm and inviting ― just having him near you sent your poor heart into palpitations. 

You almost forgot about what happened the previous month when he came back ― those hickeys and scratches on his back finally having been cast out of your mind. 

Your heart did ache when you bid him goodbye the night he left again, wondering if he was going to see her or not. 

The seventh month was when that already precariously balanced life came crumbling down all at once. 

Shinsou was in the shower as you played on his Playstation, sitting in front of the TV with a frown on your face. You could hear the shower running and in the back of your mind you pictured what he might look like ― water running down his flawless skin, his hands caressing. You felt an almost pitiful clench in your core at the mental image. 

Your perversions were cut short by the sharp ring of the doorbell. You paused your game and groaned as you stood up, your knees popping from being sat in the same position for too long. Unlocking the door, you pulled it open and paused. 

A woman stood on the other side of the door, a well-fitting black dress and fur coat wrapped around her shoulders. Her ears, neck, and wrists were adorned with sparkling jewelry and you could see the red bottoms of her expensive heels. She wore vibrant red lipstick across pretty, smiling lips as she acknowledged you. However, you could see the cold gleam in her eyes that made the smile all too fake. 

“Can I help you?” you asked, leaning against the door jam. 

She hummed, tucking some hair behind her ear with perfectly manicured nails, “Is Toshi here?”

“Toshi?” you raised a brow at the nickname, “He’s in the shower. What do you need?”

“Just to talk,” she replied, stepping forward like she wanted to come in. When you didn’t budge she raised a brow, “You don’t mind if I come in, right? I’m sure Toshi would love to see me.”

“Uh…” you didn’t get a chance to reply as she brushed past you, her shoes clicking on the hardwood floor as she made her way towards the living room, “Sure...come on in…” you whispered sarcastically, rolling your eyes as you shut the door. 

You could hear the shower was turned off, indicating Shinsou would be returning in a minute. You looked at the woman as she glanced around the apartment, feeling a sting of jealousy burning within you. 

Was she the girl he was dating?

“So...how do you know Hitoshi?” you asked, making her smile. 

“I’m his girlfriend, of course!” she beamed, voice far too peppy for your liking.

The words sent an arrow through your heart and you looked away with a hum, ignoring the need to flee to your room and cry into the pillow like a stupid middle schooler. 

As if on cue, the bathroom door opened and Shinsou strolled down the hall, towling his hair as he moved. 

Any other time you would have drooled over the sight of a shirtless Shinsou, gym shorts hanging loose on his hips as he walked.

“Uh...Hitoshi…” you mumbled, getting his attention. 

He looked up from beneath his towel, meeting your gaze before his eyes moved to the woman beside you. Immediately his eyes went wide and he stood up straight. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he snapped, startling you with how aggressive those words came out. 

The girl didn’t seem too affected, merely pouting as she spoke, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“You have no business being here,” he growled, jerking his head to the door, “Get out.”

“No!” she argued, walking right up to him, “I deserve answers before you throw me away like trash, Hitoshi!”

“I don’t owe you anything,” he replied coldly, breezing past both you and her to go to the kitchen. She followed him but you remained in the kitchen, listening as they argued.

“Why won’t you see me anymore?!” she cried, petulantly stomping her heeled foot. 

“Because you got too damn attached,” he spat, opening the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water before walking into the living room again. 

“Attached?!” she gasped, grabbing his arm to force him to look at her, “I have given you so much. How can you just break it off without a real reason! Come on, Toshi, just...be with me, you won’t have to work anymore.”

He tensed, glancing over at you at the mention of her job, jaw set, “Just get out, Kana.”

She looked over at you, a sly smile forming on her lips, “She doesn’t know what you do, does she? Is that why you’re avoiding this?”

He didn’t reply, simply glared at her. Kana scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, “After all I spent on you, you have no right to just run away. You know I can treat you better than anyone else can, Hitoshi. You’re making a mistake.”

“I have plenty of other clients lined up, Kana,” he shot back, making her frown. He chuckled at the sign of weakness she showed, “What? Did you think you were the only one? No, sweetheart, I have plenty of girls waiting to spend even just one night with me. You’re not special. You’re certainly not the highest paying one either. There’s nothing of importance tying me to you. You have nothing special to offer. You got too attached, starting having feelings for me...you know it would never work with my job. So just leave before you get your feelings hurt.”

Both of you were stunned silent. You because you had never heard him speak so coldly and harshly to someone before ― even when he was having a bad day and accidentally took it out on you. Her because the words he spat out with such venom wrecked her pride and made her burn with anger. 

She clenched her fists and snapped her head towards you, “Best not to get close to this prick,” she warned, her voice watery with unshed tears, “A man who makes money being a sugar baby isn’t one you want to get attached too.”

With those last words, she stormed out. The slam of the door made both you and Shinsou flinch. The silence that followed was even more deafening, however. 

Shinsou cursed under his breath, running a hand through his half-dry hair.

“So...she wasn’t your girlfriend?” you asked, making him look over at you. 

He was quiet for a second before chuckling under his breath, “You learn what my job is and that's the first thing you wonder?”

“Well!” you defended yourself quickly, “She introduced herself as your girlfriend!”

He shook his head, moving around the couch to take a seat, “No, she was just...a client I spent time with for a while. She started catching feelings so I cut it off and referred her to a friend of mine. Apparently...she didn’t like that.”

“How’d she know you lived here?” you asked, sitting beside him.

He shrugged, “She could have looked through my shit at some point, I suppose.”

You hummed, not wanting to push him to reveal more than he wanted to. After all, it wasn’t even his choice to expose his line of work anyway. 

Well, at least you had answers on why he had all those expensive clothes, cash, and jewelry. It was good to know he wasn’t some type of shady thief in the end. 

“It’s...just a really bad idea to get involved with clients,” he explained suddenly, “It’s not a relationship that’s built up on anything real. Having to pay for the company of someone is not a good foundation,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair again before looking at you, “I hope you...don’t think differently of me because of my job.”

You shrugged your shoulders and shook your head, “It’s not really my place to judge you, you know?”

“Thanks,” he smiled, “It’s not really something that’s as bad as people think. It gets a bad rep for having sex for money and shit but...truthfully majority of my job is just...being company to rich women. Sometimes they want to take me around to some fancy parties to show me off or go on dates because they’re lonely. Sex isn’t the majority of what I do. I mean...I will but...it’s not the most common occurrence.”

Once again, the vision of those hickeys and sex-scratches crossed your mind and you found yourself wondering what kind of woman gave him those. At least you could be assured he wasn’t going out to see his girlfriend when he went to work ― they were strictly clients.

Which meant...he was probably single. 

Your heart stuttered in your chest at the hopeful idea. 

“How about I order some take out?” you asked, standing up to retrieve your phone. 

“Get some pizza,” he called as you disappeared down the hall. 

After his occupation was revealed to you, things began to look up. He became more open and carefree around you ― as he no longer had a big secret to hide. He didn’t really talk about his work but he wasn’t hiding it from you either. 

You decided not to ask too many questions, knowing you’d only burn up in jealousy at the idea. You knew you didn’t really have a right to be jealous since you weren’t his girlfriend or anything but you couldn’t help it either. 

The peaceful feeling didn’t last long, however. Once the fire started burning, it had no other choice but to rage. 

“You should really just tell him, _____!” your friend, Uraraka whined, head against the table.

“It’s seriously painful,” Momo agreed, “All this pining is making me sick.”

“Oh real nice,” you rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your coffee. 

It felt nice to hang around with your friends for once ― it wasn’t something you frequently got the opportunity to do. 

Just as Uraraka was about to open her mouth and reply, a looming shadow dropped over the table. You all looked over to find the familiar blonde hair and wide grin.

“Kaminari,” you greeted with a smile.

“Hey _____,” he waved before tucking his hands in his pockets, “Listen, I’ve been wanting to ask for a while but...would you like to go out with me sometime?”

The question left you stunned. 

You weren’t super close to Denki Kaminari, you shared a few general studies classes. He was a goofy, excitable guy who always seemed to know how to light up a room. Everyone around him was always in a good mood, in general he was just a very positive person. 

Not just that but he wasn’t too bad to look at either; with his pretty, wide eyes and sharp jawline. The black lightning bolt streak through his hair just made him look even more charming. 

But you hesitated, your mind drifting to Shinsou. 

Sighing, you bit your lip, “Can I get back to you on that?”

He smiled, nodding his head, obviously relieved you didn’t tell him a flat out no, “No problem. I’ll see you later!”

Once he was gone, a sharp smack landed on your back making you cry out.

“Why didn’t you give him an answer?!” Momo cried.

“Denki’s a great guy, _____! You should do it!” Uraraka added.

You shrugged, “It’s just…”

“If you’re holding out hoping something will miraculously happen with stupid Shinsou, it’s a stupid idea,” Momo said, making you pout that she had read you so easily.

“Just tell him how you feel, _____,” Uraraka sighed, “If he rejects you, you can accept Denki’s date!”

You sighed but didn’t reply. Your two friends shared a look before changing the topic, drawing the attention away from your hopeless crush on your roommate. 

When you got home, you were filled with a sense of urgency. Shinsou wasn’t in the living room so you went to his bedroom, knocking a few times on the door before he opened it. 

“Hey,” he greeted, a tired smile on his face, “Welcome home.”

“Hitoshi,” you swallowed thickly, steeling yourself.

He frowned, “What is it?”

“I need to talk to you,” you breathed.

“Okay,” he stepped aside, waving you into his room.

You hesitated for a second, realizing that there would be no turning back once you walked inside. The door shutting behind you echoed in your head. He moved past you to take a seat on his computer chair. The screen was lit up behind him, indicating he had probably been playing something before you interrupted. 

“I’m all ears,” he said softly, relaxing back in his seat.

“I…” you shifted on your feet, biting your lip, “I got asked out on a date.”

He raised his brow, cocking his head to the side. Part of you had hoped you would see some hint of jealousy from him at your words but his face remained as steely as ever.

“And...you want advice or something?” he chuckled.

You shook your head, “I want to know if…” you took in a deep breath, “If you like me before I accept him.”

He was silent for what felt like an eternity, just staring at you. Shinsou was always the type of man to think before he spoke, running through all possibilities before opening his mouth. His throat moved as he swallowed, a soft sigh coming from his nose.

“You...have a crush on me, or something?” he asked, making you deflate slightly.

“Yes,” you admitted, “And...if you don’t like me back then I’ll accept this boy’s date. There’s no reason for me to wait around and hope you’ll like me back when I could be out meeting someone new.”

He nodded his head, quieting once more. You watched as he stood up, taking a few steps towards you, “_____…” you heart clenched at his tone, knowing what was coming, “My job...it doesn’t leave me room for personal relationships.”

Despite how much you prepared yourself for it, hearing him reject you hurt. You nodded, forcing yourself not to cry as you backed up towards the door.

“Alright then,” you gave him a tight-lipped smile, turning your back to him, “I guess I’ll accept Kaminari’s date then.”

As you walked out his door, you didn’t see the pained look in his eyes. Your name lingered on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t dare speak out. The click of his door was deafening in his ears and when you were gone he sighed, hanging his head as he sat on the edge of his bed, feeling like an idiot. 

The next day, you hunted down Kaminari, telling him you’d love to go out on a date with him. He was thrilled, going off excitedly about how he couldn’t believe you actually accepted him and that he would make it the best date ever. 

And truth be told, the date was a blast. You had told him you’d never been to laser tag before and immediately he said that was exactly what you do then. The sound of Denki’s laughter still echoed in your ears as he lost to you, accusing you of cheating in a lighthearted tone. 

You didn’t see much of Shinsou after you started seeing Kaminari. Although it was casual, you spent a good bit of time hanging out with him ― he began eating with you, Uraraka, and Momo on campus and the two of you texted often. 

It seemed that Shinsou wasn’t making a big effort to hang out with you anyway. As much as that hurt, you knew it was for the best. It spared you a lot of hurt and him of the awkwardness of living with a girl who had a crush on him. 

It was fair enough, you mused. 

But when you laid in bed at night, your phone on silent and the faint sound of Shinsou’s voice floating through the walls as he gamed with his friends, you felt the now familiar tug on your heart. You longed to be with him. 

But you knew it was pointless now. 

You’d been seeing Kaminari for a month when he showed up on your doorstep to pick you up. Usually you would leave and meet him but due to the rain, he opted to pick you up and save you both from the hassle. 

You were in your room, putting the final touches on your makeup when the doorbell rang. Before you could react, you heard Shinsou open the door. 

You quickly grabbed your purse, tossing the strap over your shoulder as you opened your door. You could hear their voices carrying down the hallway.

“Holy shit!” Kaminari laughed, “What a small world ― it’s been a while Hitoshi!”

“Denki,” Shinsou greeted curtly. 

“You ______’s roommate?” Kaminari asked, tucking his hands in his pockets as he waited for you, “She’s talked about you a bit. Didn’t know it was you, though, man!”

“Denki―” Shinsou was about to say something more but was cut off by your entrance.

“Hey there babydoll!” Kaminari greeted with a grin, holding his hand out for you to take, “See you later, Hitoshi!”

Shinsou didn’t respond as he watched the two of you leave, his jaw set tight as he held himself back from calling out. 

-

You felt like you’d never been more angry in your life as you stormed home. Things had been going so well between you and Kaminari, you felt like you could genuinely start to like him. You enjoyed his company and began to think less and less about one purple haired roommate of yours. 

You slammed the front door, startling poor Shinsou on the couch. He turned around, eyes wide at the blazing anger visible on your face.

“What the hell is your problem, Shinsou?!” you cried, kicking your shoes off and tossing your backpack to the floor.

“Huh?” he raised a brow dumbly, only fanning the flames of your rage. 

“You…” you heaved, fists clenched, “Who do you think you are?! Telling Denki to break it off with me?!”

Realization quickly flashed over his face and he groaned, standing up, “I didn’t tell him to break up with you!” he argued. You opened your mouth to retort but he put his hand up to stop you, “I just told him to think it over. Do you know how we know each other, ____?”

“No,” you shook your head, tossing your hands up, “What does it matter? You still have no right to interfere in my relationship!”

“He’s in the same line of work I am!” he snapped, rounding the couch, “He does the same exact thing I do.”

You paused, letting the information sink in, “Why does that matter?”

He shook his head, “Do you really want to be with a guy who spends his nights in bed with women, _____? That’s not exactly the easiest job to trust a man with.”

You didn’t have a retort, “I thought...the majority of the job was just being a companion.”

Shinsou sighed, taking a seat once more, “It really depends on the guy. Denki is pretty popular because he loves to get his dick wet.”

You thought those words would make you feel jealous. The idea of the guy you were seeing fucking other women should make you feel something but instead...you felt almost relieved. Still, it didn’t simmer the anger you felt towards Shinsou at putting his nose in your business.

“You should have come to me and told me your concerns, Shinsou,” you snapped, narrowing your eyes at him, “Instead of going behind my back for me to be dumped.”

“You’re right,” he admitted, biting his lip, “I just...wanted to see if Denki was still the same as he was when I last knew him. It’s just how it happened. I am sorry.”

Sensing his apology was sincere, you relaxed and nodded, “I’ve got to study.”

With that, you hid away in your room. 

You couldn’t deny you still felt a bit ticked off with him but at least you were able to move past it. You realized you weren’t truly attached to Kaminari, you were just using him to shove your feelings for Shinsou away ― a pretty dick move on your part. So you were relieved to be out of the relationship.

Unfortunately, this left you with Shinsou once more. Where he once was pushed from your mind for the most part, he now resumed plaguing your thoughts. 

You couldn’t deny how tired you were. 

It was emotionally exhausting feeling your heart race at the mere sight of him only for it to ache when you remembered there was no chance in hell he’d even give you the time of day. 

Things reached a head when he returned from work. Eleven months in and all the negative feelings and tension finally culminated. 

“Hey Shinsou,” you called, finding him leaning against the kitchen island with a cereal bar in his hands. 

He looked over his shoulder, an unusually cold look in his eyes as he regarded you, “What?”

You tried not to flinch at the tone, frowning, “Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” he snapped and you sighed, realizing he was in one of his moods, “What do you want?”

“I...nevermind,” you shrugged, “We’ll talk when you’re in a better mood.”

You hadn’t meant for it to be something to piss him off further. You truly meant that you would wait until he felt better to talk. For some reason, however, he took it wrong.

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” he growled, pushing himself off of the counter to storm up to you.

“Nothing!” you defended, “I don’t want to get into anything with you, okay?”

“If you have something to say then just say it!” he snapped, making you shake your head.

“No!” you argued, turning on your heel to storm into your bedroom. 

Before you could get very far, however, a tight hand was wrapped around your elbow, pulling you back.

“Don’t fucking run from me!” his tone sent shivers down your spine, the angry fire burning in his eyes finally snapping something inside you.

“I am so fucking tired of this!” you tore your arm from his grip, not missing the frustrated grunt he gave in response, “This shit isn’t working anymore, Shinsou! You clearly don’t know what the hell to do with yourself; you come home from working and you’re in a shit mood and you take it out on me. Then you act like everything is perfectly fine. You know how I feel about you, so you can’t even pretend that doesn’t have anything to do with your behavior. In fact, I know it affects you because why else would you have convinced the only guy I’ve seen in the past like two years to dump me like trash! All over this stupid fucking job of yours. I don’t want to deal with the shitty way you make me feel, Shinsou!”

“So?” he snapped, teeth bared.

“So I’m gonna fucking move out!” you threatened, standing nose to nose with him.

His eyes narrowed and he let out a humourless laugh, “Fine! The sooner the better!”

With those last words he stormed past you, slamming his bedroom door with deafening finality. 

You were left alone in the living room, fists clenched as tears you’d held back so long finally broke free. 

A stupid purple haired idiot was not worth being hurt so much over. That you were sure of. 

It’s not like he even cared, apparently. 

With that thought finally pushing you into action, you returned to your own room to begin looking for new housing. 

In all your time living with him, the longest you went without seeing him was two days. Once a month when he went to work ― that was the only length of time you didn’t see him every day. 

Now, however, the two of you were avoiding each other like the plague. You had been busting your ass finding a new apartment, going to school, and working as usual. Shinsou had been hiding in his room the majority of the time. 

You even stopped cooking. 

Part of you wondered if he even noticed. Deep down, however, you knew he probably didn’t care. 

He would just get a new roommate and go on like usual. Like you had never existed. 

At least you’d be able to get over him then. 

It took a month before you found a decent place. It was nowhere near as nice as your current one but there was nothing you could do about that. Your situation with Shinsou was unique and you knew you were never gonna have an opportunity like this again. 

You came to terms with that. 

Wandering out of your room, you were surprised to find him sitting on the couch. His nose was buried in his phone but the TV played his usual shows. 

“Hey,” you greeted, keeping your voice even. He grunted in response, not looking up, “I found a place. I’ll be out by the end of the week.”

He didn’t say anything and you sighed, feeling your eyes burn. 

How you wished he would say something to stop you ― to show you that the past year wasn’t a huge waste of time and that you really meant nothing to him. You felt you could have at least called yourselves friends but...apparently that was one sided. 

The thought hurt so you escaped to your room once again to hide. 

The night before your move, you were laying in bed playing a game on your phone. Laying on your back, you held the screen up and tapped your thumbs aggressive against the screen. Your momentum was lost by three sharp knocks on your door. You cried out as your phone fell from your hand and dropped on your face. 

“Shit,” you groaned, tossing it away and getting up from bed. 

Opening the door, your words caught in your throat at the sight of Hitoshi Shinsou’s sleepy gaze fixated on you. His hand was clasped around the nape of his neck and he was looking away nervously. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” his head snapped towards you, eyes wide before you realized how that sounded, “I-I mean I thought you were supposed to be gone! You know...to work.”

His shoulders relaxed slightly and he shrugged, “I cancelled. I...wanted...no, I needed to talk to you. Can I come in?”

You stood there for a few seconds, thinking it over before stepping aside to let him in. He gave you a tight lipped smile before you shut the door behind him. Turning to face him, you took note of the way his free hand was shoved into his sweats pocket. The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. 

“What...what did you need?” you asked, sitting on the edge of your bed. 

He remained standing, obviously thinking over his words carefully. His back was to you, his figure hunched slightly in his usual posture. But you couldn’t miss the tension his form held. 

“I never intended this to become a long-term thing,” for a moment you thought he was talking about your living arrangement but before you could refute, he was turning to you, “This sugar baby thing, that is. I had a friend who did it and made some good money from it and eventually I got into the scene and realized just how good it could pay. It’s been like 2 or 3 years now since I’ve been at it.”

He dropped his hand from around his neck, beginning to pace around your room to gaze at your various knick-knacks. He paused at the few boxes you had packed up already, a frown marring his face.

“I make even more money by selling the presents I get. Sometimes the clients will give me jewelry or clothes, I always sell them,” he sighed, picking up a snow globe that sat atop your dresser, shaking it mindlessly to watch the fake snow float around the glass. 

“Why are you telling me this?” you asked softly.

“The truth is, I hate the majority of my job,” he confessed, ignoring your question, “Most of the people are pretentious assholes who think they’re better than me because they pay me. I don’t mind being arm candy, it doesn’t really bother me. And not gonna lie sometimes the sex is bomb,” he chuckled almost lifelessly and you ignored the pang in your chest at his words, “But the position I’m in forces me to basically do whatever they want me to. Naturally, I have limits and shit but if they want to dominate me I let them and that sucks.”

“Hitoshi,” you grumbled, making him look at you, “Why are you telling me about your sexual preferences?”

“Oh right…” he shook his head, “I hate doing it because I don’t have much control in my life because of it,” he looked at you with fierce eyes, “That’s why...I want to say fuck it.”

Before you could respond, he was walking up to you, cupping your cheek in a warm hand. Your eyes were wide, staring up at him as he moved close to you, his lips brushing yours. 

“It’s been so fucking painful letting you go,” he whispered, “Having to reject you and let you go out with fucking Denki nearly broke me down, not gonna lie. I didn’t want him to hurt you, that’s why I interfered...but I also...didn’t want to let him have you when I wanted you so damn bad myself.”

Your heartbeat stuttered as you stared up at him, wide eyed, “D-Does that mean you…”

He nodded, “Shit, I’ve liked you for so long, _____. It’s been so hard not telling you how I feel every single day.”

“Hitoshi,” you likced your lips, reaching up to fist the front of his shirt. He hummed before you spoke again, “Please kiss me.”

There was a quick flash of his smile before his lips met yours ― every bit as soft as you expected them to be. You could faintly taste toothpaste on his lips but you didn’t mind one bit, he probably tasted the same from you. 

His hand moved from your cheek to your jaw, angling your head to deepen the kiss. Your own hands moved around his shoulders, pulling him closer. 

You quickly found yourself on your back, his hand wandering up the hem of your shirt, touching the bare skin of your stomach. You whimpered, fisting his hair as you kept him locked in a kiss. He didn’t seem to mind, simply sighing against your lips. 

You still had questions but you couldn’t bear the thought of stopping this so you tucked them into the back of your mind, devoting yourself to what was right in front of you. 

Shinsou sat up just slightly, breaking the kiss. You almost whined but the feeling of his hand creeping upwards towards your bare breast stopped you.

“Is this okay?” he asked for your consent, pausing before he actually touched you.

“Very,” you breathed, tugging him back down for another kiss. 

Immediately, he cupped your breast, thumbing your already erected nipple. You gasped into his mouth, earning an amused chuckle from him.

“Sensitive?” he asked, pecking your lips before suddenly sitting back. 

This time you did whine at the loss. He flashed you a fond smile before pushing the hem of your shirt up to your neck, revealing your chest to his greedy eyes. 

“D-Don’t just stare,” you complained, feeling your cheeks burn as he admired your body. 

“Sorry,” he replied insincerely, cupping your breast once more, “You have such pretty tits, you know? I couldn’t help it.”

You scoffed but it turned into a choked gasp as he enveloped your pert bud in his hot mouth, wet tongue lashing against it before he pulled away with a firm suck. You wrapped your hands in those soft, purple tresses and whined. His other hand came up to pinch your other nipple, making sure to give it just as much attention. 

“Toshi…” you whined, tugging his hair until he pulled away, his lips swollen. 

“What is it, baby?” he hummed, nosing at your neck to press soft kisses there.

“T-Take your shirt off,” you breathed, tugging at the hem until you were able to pull it over his head with a bit of assistance. 

Once he was as shirtless as you, your hands began to wander to touch every bit of skin you had long to for so long. He let you explore, letting out a soft sigh when you brushed over one of his hardened nipples. You didn’t linger in one place for long, quickly growing too curious at the sight of his member straining against those damn sweatpants he always wore. 

His head tipped back as you palmed him through the fabric, quickly noticing that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Eagerly, you dipped your fingers beneath the hem and pulled his cock free, your fingers not even able to touch once wrapped around. 

He was thick, a curve to his length that you just knew would hit a certain spot inside of you that would make you lose your mind. The head was a flushed red color, leaking precum that you used to give him a couple easy strokes. 

He reached down, grabbing your wrist to stop you before slipping his own hand down the hem of your shorts and panties. 

Your hips bucked the second his fingers made contact with your folds ― already dripping wet and coating his digits generously. He gave a few soft circles to your clit, testing your sensitivity before finding the pressure that had you cunt clenching around nothing. 

You whined, grinding your hips against his touch in hopes he’d slip at least one of those long fingers into you. Thankfully, you were granted your wish and more as he easily slid his middle and ring fingers in. 

He groaned as you walls tightly clenched around him, trying to desperately pull him back in whenever he pulled them out slightly. 

“Feel good?” he breathed, already knowing the answer but craving your praise.

“So good,” you whimpered, biting your lip. He curled his fingers suddenly, nailing that sweet, spongy spot on your upper wall, “Right there!” you gasped. 

He grinned, massaging that one pleasure-point with vigor, “Yeah? Right there, kitten?”

You keened at the name, walls clenching. He groaned at the feeling, suddenly pulling his hand free from your shorts. You didn’t have time to complain before he was tugging the remaining articles down your legs to toss away. 

He moved with practice expertise, grabbing you beneath the thighs to pin them open. Your wet cunt was exposed to his all too greedy eyes. He licked his lips at the sight, making your cheeks burn. 

Before you knew it, he was kneeling on the floor beside the bed, tugging you down just a bit so your ass was almost hanging off the edge. The position left you completely at his mercy. He knew it too. 

You watched with bated breath as he spread your folds open ― revealing the shiny, pink hole that continuously dripped your arousal. It clenched beneath his leering gaze and he groaned. 

“Fuck!” you squealed when he dove forward to wrap his lips around your hardened clit. 

He hummed at your taste, sending vibrations through the little bud. He quickly abandoned that in favor of getting a full taste of your juices. Tonguing your entrance, he reveled in how tight you were around his tongue. 

You reached down, tanging your fingers in his hair as he ate you with all he had. His tongue worked expertly to circle your clit before dipping back down to your hole once again. 

“Please, put your fingers in,” you begged, desperate to be filled. 

He quickly obliged, slipping two long digits into your clenched pussy before mouthing over your clit eagerly. He could already feel you clenching sporadically around him and he couldn’t resist setting a quick pace, hammering against your sweet spot with every movement. 

Your muscles were taught as you felt that glorious high building up. Soft pleas left your lips as your back arched. 

“Gonna cum, kitten?” he tasted, flicking his tongue against your clit.

“Y-Yeah!” you sobbed, abandoning your hold on his hair to tear at your blankets ― not wanting to hurt him in your throes of pleasure. 

“Cum then,” the casual way he said those words flicked a switch and you were cumming. 

He groaned through your high, feeling your cunt spasm around him. He felt your cum gush from around his digits, soaking them as you clit throbbed beneath the pad of his tongue. Once your body began to relax, he pulled away. 

Your thighs slammed shut once he was out of the way, your muscles trembling through the intense aftershocks. While you were coming down, he stripped himself of his sweats, popping his cum-soaked fingers into his mouth with a groan as he fisted his cock to the sight of you trembling. 

The fact he made you cum so hard was a boost to his ego and he didn’t bother fighting the prideful grin on his face. Sweat coated your skin and made your hair stick to your neck. 

After several seconds, he climbed onto the bed and maneuvered you so your head was in the pillows. You bit your lip and grinned slyly at him as he climbed onto the bed. 

“Shit uh…” he looked around your room quickly, a frown on his lips. You looked up at him curiously before he explained, “Condom?”

You bit your lip and shook your head, “D-Don’t worry about it.”

“Huh?” he gaped down at you.

You shrugged, “I’m on the pill and well...I’m sure you use condoms with you...job, right?”

“Always,” he blinked.

“Then…” you wiggled your hips at him with a cheeky grin. 

He chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. Reaching between the two of you, he gripped his cock and tapped the head of it against your folds. Your thighs jumped as he slapped lightly against your sensitive clit. 

Finally, he began to press into you and your mouth fell open at the delicious stretch his cock gave you. He clenched his teeth, letting you soft groans as he sunk more of his length into you. Your walls gripped him so tightly, spasming and clenching as he was fully seated within you. 

The two of you had to pause before continuing, the feeling of him filling you up too much. His cock was thick, making you feel like he was stuffing you full. 

“Please,” you begged, fisting the pillows on either side of your head as he sat back on his heels. 

Gazing between your thighs, he nearly lost it at the sight of your cunt stretched tight to accommodate him. He thumbed over your clit, receiving a sharp cry from your lips. 

“Fuck...you’re so fucking tight,” he growled, circling his hips against yours with a groan, “I can feel you clenching so tight around me. Bet you wanna cum again, huh?”

“Yes!” you cried quickly, mouth agape as he gave a sudden thrust, “Please make me cum!”

He shushed you, rubbing his thumbs over your hips, “Don’t worry, kitten, I got you...I’ll get you there.”

Before you could respond, he was setting an almost brutal pace. You always imagined what Shinsou would be like in bed ― you pictured it too many times at night. Sometimes you imagined he would take it slow with deep, intense thrusts. Other times you’d picture exactly this; rough, harsh thrusts that you were sure were going to leave you sore when the morning came. 

You had no complaints though. 

Hitoshi gripped you beneath your knees, pinning your legs to your chest as he fucked you. Your cunt gushed around him, making lewd, wet noises reverberate around the room and mingle with your mixed moans. He let out groans of pleasure, strands of purple hair sticking to his forehead. 

You couldn’t help but admire the sight of him ― muscles rippling and moving with the force of his thrusts. Reaching up, you pulled him closer against you, dragging your nails across his shoulder blades. 

He winced but you felt his cock twitch at the pinch of pain inflicted as a result. You thought back to what you saw that one night ― the marks some random woman left on his body. Suddenly, you were overcome with the need to mark him as yours. 

Catching him by surprise, you managed to flip him over, straddling his waist, using his strong chest as leverage to fuck yourself on his thick cock. The new angle allowed him to reach even deeper, almost hitting your cervix every time you sunk down on him. He gripped your hips, assisting your movements as he tossed his head back into the pillows. 

“Shit, that’s it, kitten,” he praised, reaching up to pinch one of your nipples.

You keened at the praise, leaning down to deliver a sharp bite against his shoulder, sucking at the skin until a bright red mark bloomed. You eyed it proudly, biting your lip as you ground against his cock, making sure your clit got the attention it needed. 

Shinsou bucked into you, making you whine as he started a steady pace of bouncing. Your thighs burned but it was worth the sight of having him beneath you. The way he stared up at you, as if you were a goddess made your heart race. 

“Toshi…” you whined, leaning back to steady yourself on his thighs as he started to thrust up into you. 

“What is it, babygirl?” he grunted, gripping your hips tightly as he fucked his thick cock into your gushing cunt. 

“Make me cum, please!” you begged, biting your lip. 

He grinned, bringing his thumb to his lips to lick the pad of it, “I got you, baby.”

Before you could think of a response, he was circling his thumb around your clit, the bud desperate for attention. Your body tensed with just a few quick circles of his thumb, his cock angled against your g-spot so perfectly that you immediately reached your high. 

Through your own cries of pleasure, you heard him moaning alongside you before he froze, his cock buried deep inside you as he came. His cock throbbed and pulsed with every jet of hot cum he released into your clenching walls. 

All at once, things stilled. You both relaxed against each other. His cock was still stuffed inside you, softening as his cum leaked out around him to make a mess between the two of you. You laid your head against his chest, his large hand cupping the back of it, pressing soft kisses against your forehead until your heartbeats finally slowed to a reasonable pace. 

“Let’s take a bath, baby,” he groaned as he sat up, keeping you secure in his lap.

You were surprised he could carry you so easily after he nearly fucked the very life out of you. 

Soon enough, you found yourself surrounded by sweet-smelling water with a fucked-out Shinsou cuddling against your back.

“Not to...ruin this afterglow bliss,” you hummed, leaning back against him as the warm water ripped around you, “But what brought this confession on suddenly? I thought you said your job doesn’t allow room for relationships.”

He was quiet for several, long seconds before he leaned forward to press a kiss to your shoulder, “I didn’t think it was fair to let myself be with you when I was going out once a month to hang around with a bunch of women. It isn’t something I want to put you through.”

“So you’re going to quit?” you asked. 

He nodded, “I probably won’t be able to make enough money to keep this place but...if it means I can have you without feeling like shit about hurting you, then yeah. It’ll be worth it, I’m sure.”

“Why don’t you just…” you bit your lip, pausing.

“What?” you questioned, gripping your chin to make you look at him, “Talk to me.”

You hummed, “Just stop with the sex and kissing stuff...just be arm candy, like you said. Hang out with them. They’ll still pay for that, right?”

He raised a brow, shifting so he could look better at your face, “You’d be okay with me going to hang out with a bunch of women who want nothing more than to sit on my dick?”

“Well…” you cleared your throat, your cheeks burning, “As long as only I get to sit on your dick then it’ll be fine. I trust you, Hitoshi.”

He was quiet once again before a smile fell across his lips, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips, “We’ll talk more about it later. Let’s just relax.”

He tucked you against his chest, leaning back against the porcelain of the tub. With his fingers caressing across your skin, you allowed yourself to drift off ― finally wrapped up in those damn arms you dreamed of.

[yuujispinkhair]

I think tumblr in general is just going down hill. So many creators have left - largely because of a lack of interaction and enthusiasm with their works - the same creators who reblogged a lot . It’s getting a bit depressing. I understand, I used to get so many interactions last year and now it’s like dead, even my dash is kinda dead these days. Don’t get me wrong, I write for myself more than anyone else, but at the same time I’m putting out free content for others to enjoy - content that I KNOW is good but nothing changes. Idk, it’s frustrating and annoying. I hope people on here realise how much comments and reblogs do for writers and other creators because more and more of us are becoming unmotivated to produce anymore work and feeling tumblr burnout causing us to leave .

YES I AGREE!! I am seriously considering going on a writing hiatus atm. I sat down to write today but then saw the few notes on my new Yuuji fic, and I was like, "Why should I even put all that time and work into writing if this is all I get in return? Might as well just watch anime or play a computer game in my free time."

Maybe I am extra frustrated right now because I just reached another milestone and got 3000 followers. I wanted to do a little event, but it just feels so fake now because out of those 3000 people, only the same few ones (who I love and appreciate very much!!) interact with my stories and leave nice feedback. The rest don't even seem to read them, or if they do, they just click the like button. I'm sorry, but that's not enough. 3000 people follow a Yuuji blog, and then only about 6 of them actually say that they enjoyed it when I post a Yuuji story :( What am I doing wrong?

I used to get so many notes and so much sweet feedback. I have no idea what changed. Maybe it's because a lot of my mutuals left? And the new people have their own friends groups which they support?

Or did the quality of my writing get worse? Are my fics too long or too boring? All I know is that it makes me sad, and I feel inadequate anytime I publish something nowadays because it never gets the feedback I was hoping it would get. I assumed that maybe the JJK fandom is dead in general or that people don't want to read about Yuuji, but I see other authors' Yuuji fics get lots of interactions so that can't be the problem either.

Now I assume that people are tired of seeing me write about Yuuji, or they suddenly don't like my way of portraying him anymore. It makes me so sad. I always put so much thought into my stories and try to be creative, and it's important to me to write in character. But now it seems like all of this isn't good enough anymore.

Yes, I always give the advice to others that they should write for themselves and I am doing that too of course. But if I only write for myself, I don't have to spend hours editing and perfecting my stories. I can just write a few short sentences with lots of spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes and leave the rest to my imagination.

I have so many ideas and things I was excited to write and share with my followers, but now I feel like most of them wouldn't be interested in them anyway. Maybe I will write those stories for myself, but I won't publish them.

Despite the complaining, I want to say thank you to the people who always interacted with my stories and gave me sweet feedback and were excited about my ideas and supported me!! I love you so much and I am very grateful for you!!

[thiccanimethighs]

Evermore Chapter 6 - Otto Octavius x Reader

It was only two weeks later that you had finally done it, you had finally created enough promising formulas that you could actually start experimenting!

Grabbing the papers and quickly turning in your seat, you got up and rushed over to Otto’s desk, shoving the papers in his face. Otto recoiled a little bit in shock, looking at you confused before grabbing the papers out of your hands

“Is this…” Otto began as he leafed through them.

“Enough formulas and calculations to actually begin experimenting! Yes!” You cut him off, a huge grin forming on your face.

Otto stood up from his desk as he read through the papers, looking at you in shock when he finished. “It’s….working. We’re creating something that’s working.” A small smile forming on his face at the realization.

Unable to contain your excitement of creating working formulas, you let out a joyful scream as you wrapped your arms around Otto in a hug, feeling him stiffen as you jumped up and down in joy.

You calmed down and let go of Otto, looking up at him and seeing a slight blush on his face. The realization of what you just did came over you as a hard blush covered your face and you looked down at the floor.

“Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly, “I don’t know what came over me.”

Otto cleared his throat as he scratched the back of his neck and looked away from you. “It’s quite alright.”

You looked up at him and gave him a small smile to try and get rid of the awkwardness surrounding the two of you.

‘So, we finally have the formulas and calculations.” You spoke up, “Now we just need the equipment.”

Otto looked over at you and nodded. “I can get the equipment.” He told you.

“But not from Oscorp.” You reminded him in a playful tone.

Otto gave a slight laugh and shook his head at you. “But not from Oscorp, yes I know.”

Otto’s face turned slightly serious as he thought of places he could acquire chemistry equipment from.

“I think I know of somewhere I can get your equipment from. Just give me a list of the elements you need and I can get them tonight.” He told you.

You nodded at him and rushed over to your desk, grabbing a piece of paper and writing down all the elements you needed, and even some you didn’t think you’d need, but would probably be handy in the long run.

You walked back over and gave the list to Otto who took it with a nod and placed it in his jacket pocket.

The actuators chittered around Otto, making him look at them and sigh. “Fine, if it will get you to shut up and stop giving me a headache.”

A confused look came across your face as Otto looked back at you. “They have suggested that since we have reached a milestone in our research that we should celebrate.” He explained to you.

The actuators moved and chittered about excitedly, causing Otto to glare at them and swat them away as you let out a small laugh.

“Well, what do you propose we do to celebrate then?” You asked with a smile.

Otto shrugged and tossed a flip phone at you. “Whatever you want, all the places in New York that will deliver food out here are already programmed into the phone.”

You nodded and flicked the phone open, scrolling through the numbers until you found one that caught your interest. “How do you feel about pizza?” You asked looking up at Otto.

Otto shrugged and sat back down, “If that’s what you want I have no complaints.”

You nodded and clicked on the number, “Any preferences?” You asked as the phone began ringing.

“If you get olives on it I will have no choice but to kick you off this project,” Otto told you in a serious but teasing voice.

You laughed and shook your head. “Plain pepperoni it is then.”

~~~~~~~~~

About an hour after you had made the call for pizza, you heard a knock on the warehouse's double doors. Grabbing the money Otto had given you off the kitchen island, him preferring you to grab and pay for the food while he hid out in case he was recognized, you went and opened the door.

In front of you stood a guy about your age, maybe a little younger. Tossed light brown hair, skinny build, and black glasses. 

“Two pepperoni and one cheese?” He asked as he looked at a piece of paper.

You smiled at him and nodded. “Yup, that's for me.”

“Alright, just making sure, this place was super hard to find so I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t delivering to the wrong address.” He said with a small laugh.

You let out a small laugh of your own as you started counting the bills in your hand. “How much is it gonna come too?”

The delivery guy looked at the paper again. “Oh, um, your total comes to 34 dollars and 75 cents.”

You nodded and pulled out 40 dollars, handing it to him and grabbing the boxes out of his arms. “Keep the change.” You said with a smile.

A bright smile appeared on his face as he thanked you. You smiled at him once more and walked back into the warehouse and closed the door. “Otto! Food’s here!” You shouted, not realizing that the delivery guy heard you as he gave the warehouse doors a suspicious glance.

Otto walked out of the lab as you placed the pizza boxes on the kitchen island and started grabbing some plates.

Otto stopped when he saw that there were three pizzas and gave you a raised eyebrow.

You gave him a sheepish smile, “It’s a special occasion, and I thought we could have leftovers for dinner for the next couple nights.”

Otto shook his head at you as one of the actuators grabbed a plate. You smiled to yourself as you also grabbed a plate and started piling on some pizza.

~~~~~~~~

The moment after Peter dropped off the money and double-checked he didn't have any more orders, he immediately suited up and swung over to the warehouse of his last delivery.

Peter realized that there were probably many Otto’s living in New York City, but he had to be sure, especially since this one was living in a warehouse on the far edge of the city.

Arriving at the warehouse, Peter immediately found a window that looked into the main portion of the building, realizing that his suspicions were true when he peeked his head up to look through the window. 

There sitting at the kitchen island was the girl who had paid for the pizza, and Otto Octavius.

Peter cursed to himself and was already setting up a plan to break in, grab you, and demand Otto tell him what he wanted with you. But he stopped himself when he saw you laugh at something Otto had said. He realized how relaxed and comfortable you looked, like you were just chatting with a close friend and not a wanted criminal.

Eventually, you got up from your seat and went to grab the plates, only to have an actuator stop your arm. Peter nearly jumped out of his skin, thinking that Otto was about to hurt you. But he just grew more confused when he saw Otto grab the plates and you gave Otto a cheeky smile.

Peter finally decided to leave when he saw Otto put the plates in the sink as one of the actuators pushed you out of the kitchen, you laughing as it did so.

As he swung away from the building, Peter couldn’t help but be confused, who exactly is this girl? How does she know Otto? Why was she so comfortable around him?

Peter went through the rest of the night confused, hoping that you knew what you were doing.

~~~~~~~~

The next day, you awoke to a shocking surprise when you entered the lab, and saw tons of chemistry equipment sitting on your desk.

“Where did you get all this?” You asked, turning to Otto in disbelief.

“The university,” Otto told you nonchalantly.

“The university!” You said, eyes widening.

Otto just nodded, “Would you be surprised to hear that they haven’t deleted me from the system from when I used to teach there, that it still accepts my access card and that they haven’t changed any of the passwords.” 

“Honestly, no, that doesn’t surprise me.” You said with a sigh. “Well, at least we can start experimenting now.”

And so you found yourself a few hours later finally testing the first formula. Turning on the bunsen burner, and mixing equal parts of two elements in a flask. You grabbed a thin, wooden stirring rod and lit the end of it with the bunsen burner, dropping the flaming rod into the chemical mixture.

You held your breath as the flame caused the mixture to bubble, calming down when the mixture died down. 

You went to reach for your notebook, not noticing the glass of the flask starting to crack. Standing back in front of the flask, you looked back down at it to note any changes, when suddenly the glass exploded, sending glass shards flying as well as the mixture.

You covered your face with your arms as you fell to the floor, getting dozens of tiny pieces of glass stuck in your arms. 

When you finally lowered your arms you realized Otto was sitting next to you, a worried look on his face, his eyes widening when he saw the blood running down your arms.

“I’m okay, thankfully it was just glass and nothing corrosive.” You said trying to move your arms, wincing at the pain.

Otto suddenly lifted you into his arms, causing you to blush as he carried you bridal style into the living room, setting you down on the couch and going off to get a first aid kit.

He quickly made his way back and pulled out a pair of tweezers, slowly taking out every piece of glass, wincing every time he did.

After an excruciatingly long time, he had finally finished taking out all the glass and started bandaging your arms.

“Are you okay?” He asked once he had finished. 

You nodded your head, a small smile escaping from you as all four actuators started poking at you and seeing if you were okay. You gave each one a pat to let them know you were okay. You looked back over to Otto, eyes widening when you saw the blood on his jacket.

“Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to get your jacket covered in blood.”

Otto looked down at his jacket and shrugged as he got up. “It’s alright, I have plenty of others.”

You nodded, still feeling bad as Otto took off his jacket, taking off his turtleneck as well when he realized there was blood on it as well.

You blushed hard at seeing Otto’s bare chest, looking down at the ground when he moved to go throw the two articles of clothing in the wash.

The sudden realization that seeing Otto shirtless slightly turned you on slapped you in the face, causing you to sway slightly in shock. When was the last time you had gotten turned on by a guy? Probably not since high school since you were way too busy with classes in college, and everyone you worked with at Oscorp was at least twenty years your senior. But then again, so was Otto.

Slapping your hands on your face you let out a groan, wondering to yourself how the hell this happened.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, making you jump, only to realize that it was Otto, thankfully with a new shirt and jacket on, looking at you concerned.

“Don’t worry, I’m just kicking myself for making such a dumb mistake.” You said shakily, trying to cover the fact that you so weren’t ogling over his bare chest.

Otto didn’t look convinced but nodded anyway, telling you that you were done working for the day and to get some rest before walking back into the lab to clean up.

You lowered your face back into your hands and let out a sigh, deciding right then and there that Otto never finds out about this crush.