#but this explains nothing!!! nothing is revealed! still no amswers!!

[yuseirra]

**Onk 163 spoilers**

Since that chapter is out, I guess I can talk about it more openly, right!

In short, I cannot resonate with either Aqua and Tsukuyomi. I don't feel a single ounce of pity for either of them, which is saddening because I used to care for Aqua so much when I first picked up the series. He's the first one I wrote a long character analysis for way back even before hikaai grabbed me by the collar and pulled me in, (I did a splendid job with it, I really cared about him) he was a fav. I already know he's selfless and suffering and has a good soul but I am not convinced what he's done is the right choice. Aqua's right about himself. He is a fool. Nobody wanted him to die except maybe him and Tsukuyomi (I'm being twisted but I seriously feel like her tears are crocodile tears rn because isn't SHE the one who caused him to be reborn and assigned him a mission?? Isn't she the one who kept urging him to walk that path of vengeance? And now it's suddenly about saving Ruby all along?? ? Did Kamiki want Ruby to die from the beginning? What's going on?) Tsukuyomi is the one that caused Gorou to be born as Aqua in order to fulfill something. Aqua put his life following what Tsukuyomi assigned him and now she pities and cries when he can die. Hey, then you should have just let him live his life as an 18 year old? Isn't this the outcome you wanted? Or is Kamiki really THAT evil? I have a feeling it was Tsukuyomi who found Kamiki a problem THUS, she made Aqua go after him to take him down on her stead. How else would things play out this way huh?

Back to the "nobody wanted Aqua to die" bit, yeah? Ruby wouldn't have wanted it, Ai wouldn't, Kana, Akane, all his friends and acquaintances, Miyako and the president, EVEN KAMIKI, did not want Aqua to make this choice. That's why I just can't agree with what he's done. Kamiki looked so visibly startled and shocked when he saw Aqua stab himself and try to kill him. Kamiki told him Aqua has so much to live for so he should go back and enjoy his life, Aqua didn't listen and he goes ahead and tries to kill them both, even crafting up a fake lie that would degrade his father's reputation.

Kamiki praised the movie. He funded for it, even. Aqua wanted to lie Kamiki tried to kill him over it, that's just something I can't support. It's cruel and I'n not sure if those measures were so necessary. There was that about Kamiki turning themselves in?? What was that? Was he really going to do that after Ruby's concert or was that him just manipulating Nino but HOW CAN THAT LOGICALLY LEAD NINO INTO TRYING TO ASSAULT RUBY?? I JUST?? This guy really is a god or something if he can make that possible GUYS he really must be Sarutahiko. Ai(Amenouzume)'s husband. Goodness.

Honestly, I'm so frustrated about this situation, it resolves nothing. Doing this doesn't bring about anything meaningful and if Aqua dies here, he... Brought it upon himself. I don't like it being posed as some noble sacrifice because it isn't. So what is the truth?? So what does he know?? What was his divine mission then, was he really assigned to kill his father and that's how things turned out to be this way? Did Kamiki really do all those horrible things? But he looks so, so bright and happy when he was with Ai and he says he didn't do anything. He never once admits that he's done those things. It's vague. That chapter where Aqua dunks him was all about lies and the public not caring about what the truth is. So Aqua is going to lie about his dad and frame him as a murderer when it's really HIM trying to kill him and not the other way around. But I CARE about the truth, I, as a reader who's followed the series deserve to know what's going on, at least two major character's lives are at stake and we don't have a clear idea of what's what, this isn't right, is it?? So, what is it, Aqua? You know, if you're going to take someone's life, isn't it only fair of you to base it on the truth??? I just can't support him on this one unless I see it being justified. Besides, not a single thing is changed for the better if HE dies. It has no meaningful message, no resolution, just two broken people suffering to the death with everyone around them destined to too if they do. At least, no one would mourn Kamiki besides Ai (he's so alone), I think he himself knew that, but Aqua had a lot to live for. If he decides he must still go through and make a choice as dire and dramatic as this, it needs to have a strong base but... What I saw of Kamiki, he was so kind. If you look at all the things he says and the way he treats Aqua, Aqua keeps telling him all these harsh remarks but he doesn't show so much aggression over it. He smiled at him and.. I'm not sure if that was him being manipulative?? But none of the things he say are actually wrong. He has a point, and it actually relates to what the character went through as a part of his life. Aren't those two both victims of the nature of the industry? Is Kamiki the real evil behind it all that must die? That cannot be it. I wouldn't be so confused if he weren't someone Ai's truly loved. He really loved her too. From what I see, he's someone who took the biggest toll when she passed and he threw his entire life away to feel her again because he couldn't bear Ai doesn't exist anymore, to the point he broke down and lost his originally good nature. He's someone who's suffered immensely, I just don't see him as the guy who would have hurt Ai...he can't. He just.. Looked so happy with her and she always smiled back too, Ai wouldn't choose a person that'd do that to her and say she wanted to love them forever, won't they.

Aqua won't die guys. I'm not concerned about his life AT ALL. Him and Ruby are like a set, what would Ruby do without him if he dies like that? I just don't see that happening. He will be fine and we'll see him reunited with his precious beings. Because, it's.. Very dumb and underwhelming if it isn't. If they still go through with it, okay...I guess. I should be thankful of how the piece is saving me of the sorrow I'd have felt, right now.. I'm confused and even a bit angry towards Aqua for having been so reckless;; I'd feel sorry for everyone around him, and I'd slap Aqua's back. Tsukuyomi, I really don't know what to feel about her. What's her deal? Why is she here and what's she in this for? If she's the god of fate, she's so helpless, I do have an idea why she exists and what she's in this for actually, but, her crying won't help anything. She should stop being so ambiguous and do something if she's a god and the one that's brought the two souls to live again as Ai's twins, none of this would have happened without her intervention, I'm pretty sure what's currently happening to Aqua is an aftermath of what she assigned him to do.

What I feel is at stake, really, is not Aqua's life but the message of this piece. There is no way that can be saved if the rest of the pacing is this slow. That's what I want to be saved somehow though, three chapters left, if they are not going to to a good job with Hikaru and Ai and write them in a convincing way in depth, I just hope they focus on/do a spledid job with the twins. Just don't ruin them anymore.. I never wish I had to feel or say that. They built these perfectly good characters, why aren't they bringing out what they can be when they have? I'd be so proud of them, wouldn't they be too?

The songs though...omygod the songs though?? Guess that'll explain things miles better than the manga itself at this rate, I'm glad they exist, at the same time I wonder why they'd make it like that if they're not going to discuss just what the those intriguing lyrics there are supposed to mean

If the message is saved, then this work will remain so meaningful to me! There are too little chapters left...it'll be hard to have my hopes high though. What I can hope for, then, is to wish the work be less messy any further. If they aren't going to tell us what's actually going on and drag on like this when there's a mere 3 chapter left, there really isn't so much to look forward to.. This is my selfish wish but what I want now is for them to not make Ai's love look fruitless. I'm too distracted about that to feel anything about Aqua rn, so what was her wish?? Why did Aqua give up on that? And why is being a liar suddenly a negative thing, when the work started on a sentiment that lies are love? I really liked that idea. I thought it brought about a good insight of the nature of the industry. The "lie" here in some cases, can be interpreted as being considerate for the other party actually, it doesn't actually actively conflict with loving someone, you can lie for someone out of love, that's what Ai's done... It didn't have the best effect, but her feelings were there. I feel Kamiki may be similar, he could also be that guy who lies out of love and pretends he's the bad guy? Anyhow with Tsukuyomi branding them both as liars, I wonder what they want to do with this concept of "lies" as well. Are they going to make it seem like it's bad, at this point of the series? That also isn't a good message from the way I see it. I really love that liar couple, I literally drew 400+ pieces of them since July!! ;-;)99 so let me rant about that a little.

That's all for now! Don't know what to expect but I hope things don't go for the worse!