#but this edit is a little more up for interpretation its mostly just vibes :)

[iridescentis]

"But he was the one who controlled this place, wasn't he? And now he's dead. I don't like to think what that means for us."

i thought it would be fun to combine my multiversal time loop AU with THE multiversal time loop game!!! this was so much fun to make i loved incorporating the slay the princess vibes into an edit i haven't tried a crossover style edit in a long time and im very happy with it!!

audio <3 (with audio from stp nightmare added)

[stxrmxtsu]

i work at a store that sells sex toys so these are toys i think the matsus would use on you and themselves.

tag(s): nsfw, pervy matsu boys, gay thoughts (for the male readers), not rlly edited, THIS SUCKS.

note(s): some of these are vague but i’m also practicing on how i interpret them while also giving people like…the canon versions of them so this is all for practice, idk what compelled me to write this i’ve been at work all day

edit: this was supposed to be posted a LOOONNGG time ago. so now, its being posted on 11/18/23

osomatsu

on you: wand massagers, anal beads

wand massagers are his FAVORITE to use on you if or when he can’t really access your clit while he’s pounding you from behind, he’ll reach around you with a wand to get you to cum faster. if you’re his boyfriend, he defo uses it on both of your cocks.

anal beads come in close second, especially if you’re his boyfriend. for girlfriends, it doesn’t come as much unless you two are having a LOONNGG night. (like bdsm nights)

on himself: strokers, cock rings, anal plugs (sometimes)

when you introduced oso to strokers, he was in HEAVEN. he got addicted real fast when you gifted him one as a joke. (not a joke anymore now is it) like, you gave it to him and he was genuinely like “oh my god thanks. i love it. and i love you mwah mwah mwah” and now he has like…5 of them. all different kinds, even a butthole one so he can practice anal for when the real deal happens. also, no fucks on where he ‘hides’ them. (well…until he got yelled at by choromatsu).

(for the gays) you gifted the butthole one as an actual joke and he laughed at it but when you left…

lets just say he couldn’t stop using it while thinking of you. yeah. btw it happens constantly. whether you’re his boyfriend or not.

cock rings are his favorite only because you told him he can last longer with them. (and my guy loves fucking so…)

anal plugs or anything anal on him doesn’t really interest him unless you ask him if you can perform it on him but the times where he’s either submissive or you ask, he likes them. sometimes he feels pretty in the jeweled ones you have.

karamatsu

on you: vibrating cock rings (for male), vibrating bullets, wax candles

i think he likes taking it up the ass more so he makes you last longer by using the cock rings AND ones that vibrate because he just likes the feeling of it inside his asshole.

i think he likes playing around with you somewhat before the main event, i mean don’t get me wrong, kara is a tender and romantic lover but he likes making you feel good before and during sex. so sometimes he’ll use the bullet to press it against your clit while he eats you out or fingers you.

wax candles go for both you and him. while yes, i said he’s a romantic person, he won’t let the candles he lit for you around the bed go to waste. this is entirely if you are into it, he won’t bring it up ever again if he approached you about it and you refused.

on him: strap ons, cock sleeves, cock rings

strap ons are self explanatory, like i said, i think kara likes it up the ass more than anyone you’ve ever been with (he’s a bottom idc what you say). the way he approached you about it was kind of funny because he saw it in your little chest of sex toys and he was curious at first but then awkwardly mentioned it during a convo about spicing up your sex lives.

cock sleeves. whether you use it to finger him or enhance your own cock, karamatsu is all for it. he likes the ones with the ridges because he’s a slut and he NEEDS to feel all of you.

cock rings are mostly used on you, sure, but he also definitely uses them. if you’re a person that likes to go multiple rounds that is.

choromatsu(bator) (thank you dub oso for that nickname)

on you: any clitoral stimulators so roses, suction vibes, etc.

if i’m being honest to myself and you, choromatsu, even with guidance, lowkey kinda sucks at foreplay. so you and him kinda have to use anything that presses against you to get you fully ready.

on him: *rubs hands together* here we go.

vibrating anal plugs, vibrating panties, lube that looks like cum (thats actually a thing its called ‘fuck sauce’ and we sell it in my store), remote control vibes, cock sleeves

look me in the fucking eye and tell me that this man is not willing to let you do anything and everything to him. i dare you.

i won’t go into detail with each one cuz thats gonna take up my word count limit for each boy but FUCK does he like it messy and wet. sometimes he’ll even let you get a paddle on his ass 😏

ichimatsu

on you: oh. the obvious. any bdsm kit you find, wax candles, etc.

when you officially introduced and familiarized ichimatsu with toys and other stuff, he, like oso, got addicted. and was in heaven. of course at first he was really nervous because he’s been a virgin all his life, but with love and trust coming from you, his s/o, he’s become a FIEND. like you have no idea what you created but it sure as hell was a monster.

on him: same thing

while ichi has his dom moments, its safe to say he’s absolutely a SUCKER for receiving the same treatment as he gives you. his favorite HAS to be a paddle to the ass and hot wax dripping all over his body.

jyushimatsu

on you: flavored lube, rabbit vibes

you remember jyushi’s expression when you said there was such thing as flavored lube. his eyes lit up and then turned to the curious cat eyes. did it taste good? why was it a thing? how? he likes giving you oral with it, its his favorite activity so far in the bedroom (whether you have a cock or pussy)

jyushi is playful in bed just as he is in his everyday life so when you showed him your rabbit vibes, he laughed in joy and watched it shake with vibration or if you have the thrusters, he would giggle at how they moved up and down. it’s cute and funny at first but when you’re pent up, you grab him like “jyushi. if you don’t fuck me right now-“

and then you two actually fuck like rabbits. well…after he fucks you good with the vibe….

on him: anything!

i couldn’t really pick any toys that jyushi would like on himself but i’m pretty sure he would be down with anything and everything except the complicated and hardcore bdsm stuff.

he doesn’t want either of you to be hurt during sex because it’s supposed to be a feel good activity!

todomatsu

on you: vibrating panties, remote control bullets, suction vibrators, vibrating anal plugs

look me in the eye again, and tell me he won’t be a little shit with all four of those things. satan spawn when it comes to teasing you. he knows when you’re close too, he picked up on your cues pretty quickly and it always ends with him edging the hell outta you.

of course you get upsetti and frustrated, which he adores. (to an extent) and he just smirks at you and continues until you’re begging and a mess.

on him: strap ons, anal plugs and beads, lube that looks like cum (or just your cum in general if you’re a dude)

NEED I REMIND YOU OF MY PEGGING HCS AGAIN?

kidding, but fr.

totty doesn’t like anything too much but i think anal stuff is as far as he’ll go in regards to ‘hardcore’ sessions.

once in a while or when he’s just being a goddamn brat, he’ll push his hips back against yours with a shit eating smirk and make fake whiney noises to tease you. and when you snap and fuck him good, he’s buried face down into the pillows and sheets so fast and crying.

[rainbowchewynuggets]

re: the fate of TMA: Encore

Up to this point, I’ve been able to get most of TMA: Encore posted. But there are some issues that I’ve been struggling with for a while that are really starting to eat away at my ability to continue.

Even though Encore is practically fully written at this point and I’m just getting the planned drawing sections done, the writing itself is still largely what’s giving me the most trouble.

When I started this project in earnest, I was going off of a very rough outline and mostly writing on the fly. That method works fine for a lot of writers, but it turned out to be really difficult for me. I spent very long periods just trying to figure out how to get from plotpoint A to B to C. I eventually cleared some time to sit down and hammer out a proper coherent script. For logistical reasons, I gave myself about a month to get it done. And I did–which was a huge achievement for me. At the same time, as you can imagine, what I came out with was a little raggedy. I’ve been trying to make small edits as I go to smooth things out and pick up on missed opportunities, but I’m honestly starting to think that it’s just breaking other links in the chain.

The other big reason is due to my decaying relationship with horror. I used to love horror movies and video games, and I reveled in body and abstract emotional horror especially. The Thing. 1408. Silent Hill. TMA’s literary horror vibe was a transformative experience for someone who almost never read for fun growing up. It’s one of my favorite stories, period. Unfortunately, traumatic world events and difficult personal experiences have made horror a lot more… horrible to me in recent years. The tension and terror that used to give me catharsis now only causes me genuine stress. Writing horror still works for me though, which I think has also made it harder to keep myself from going overboard. That fucking concrete forest section with Jon gave me shooting pains to reread.

My point is, I just can’t get myself to relisten to TMA anymore or even take it in by summary. This has left me to rely on my own memory to keep the characters and world consistent with canon. Which is a lot like trying to draw a still-life portrait of wax fruit in 100-degree heat.

The worst part comes in realizing just how smart TMA is. Its explorations of the nature of fear and trauma are what inspired me to want to make Encore in the first place. But the structure and depth of it is even more substantial than I realized when I listened to it. For instance, I recently saw a post talking about how tragic Tim’s character is. He’s such a nice funny guy who does his best to roll with everything in S1, and is slowly ground down to a miserable angry stump of who he used to be by the time of his death. It takes years. And it’s not a natural part of his character. I didn’t write Tim that way in Encore. I figured it would be a lot easier to draw that negativity out of him, in the same way that it doesn’t take a lot of prodding to get Jon to misbehave. That interpretation serves the conflict I wanted to write, but it misses the point of his character, I think. There’s a lot of stuff like that in Encore at such a foundational level that it’s hard to level the dissonance when you compare it to the podcast.

Which sucks, because I originally conceived Encore as a retrospective on what the series was like to listen to (until it took so long to make that I pivoted to make it a separate study on the relationship between fear, pain, and agency, and the existential horror of time travel/immortality). I don’t really feel prepared to do any of that if I’m still discovering so much of what makes TMA work. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think unhinged, canonically-inconsistent fanfiction is bad or shouldn’t exist. But that just isn’t what Encore is supposed to be for me.

All this makes me feel really really… bad. A little bit incompetent, but mostly tired. There are only a few chapters left, and the script is mostly ready to go. Man, I don’t know if I want to go through with it though. My creative spirit has had it rough lately, and I’m about to make some big life changes that are going to make it way harder for me to get art stuff done. And, y’know, I’m supposed to be cutting back on the stuff that makes me more worn-out than happy.

I think I mentioned in a post a while ago that I’ve considered stopping before. I’ve had misgivings about the quality of the writing (and the sheer burden of making full pages of art) for a long time. I convinced myself to keep going because I’ve bailed on a lot of projects over the years and was determined to believe in myself and finish this thing. However, following an audit of the work I’ve put into it, I’m realizing that not finishing wouldn’t make the endeavor a complete loss.

The biggest reason that I make anything is because it makes me a better writer and artist. Even if I’m unsatisfied with the result, I feel accomplished that I sat down and wrote a whole script on a really tight deadline. My usual problem with any writing project is that it keeps sitting on the burner, boiling away, ballooning in scope until it’s impossible to finish. I feel like I’ve been able to make a greater level of peace with compromise and cutting down the stuff in my head to get shit out the door.

Also, tone is hard. Voice is hard. They can be even harder when you’re piggybacking off of another creator. Again, I don’t think that a fanwork or guest work necessarily has to have the same voice as the original. You’re different people, after all. A person can certainly train their tone toward a certain idea with effort, but it helps to know what comes naturally to them. I’m still figuring my own voice out, and it turns out that it isn’t this. The void left behind by my horror safe-space appears to have been occupied by a gif of Gir whacking Shinji Ikari over the head with a frying pan at high speed. Even in Encore’s most manic state, I strain to keep myself from pingponging out of bounds with violent emotional hyperactive energy. Maybe I can try sticking closer to writing action and comedy with only a moderate sprinkling of morose horror.

As mentioned last year, I made important realizations about the way I draw comics. I was taught to draw through studio art where putting your all into every piece is usually the goal. But that’s super unsustainable when you have 7-10 “pieces” to make on every single page. Falling apart halfway through a giant project pushed me to find ways to mitigate the workload without radically changing design consistency. That means formatting, rendering, and composition.

Even before that, the whole fear-color mechanic was a joy to build up. And I finally figured out how to do borderless color art! :3

I can bring all these improvements to the new things I do in the future. All the derivation-related issues in this project are making me think it’s time to move on to original stuff, anyway. Let me tell you, there is a ton of stuff I’d like to make.

TLDR; I’m considering not finishing TMA Encore because I think the quality of the writing has fallen apart, and I need to move away from writing horror and fanworks for a while.

So. The other reason I kept going after that long gap last year was because people appeared to be really into the story. I’d like to give you guys the chance to weigh in on how I handle this. Because for all I know, this is all happening in my head and everything is fine. Your options are:

A) Please finish the last few chapters with art, whenever you get around to it.

B) Please post the last of the script without pictures over the next few weeks.

C) Please don’t worry about finishing it.

Your answer won’t be a definitive vote on what I do, but I do want to value your opinion in what I decide. Through it all, I feel really happy that people have been able to enjoy and express opinions on the longest thing I’ve ever kept going. I look forward to whatever comes next.

Thanks!

Rainbow

------------

EDIT:

After careful consideration, I’ve decided to finish posting the whole thing. Chapters will be longer with way less art.

Thank you everyone, for your kind and sincere encouragement and opinions.

:’)

Here’s the next chapter btw

[meatriarchived2]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN !

what made you pick up the muse you have ? : stares at the roster: ...uhhh...well, maria i chose in a toss up at first between testing out between her and ana, but went with maria because i have a habit of picking up muses that are usually challenging to write from the start -- in this case being, how do you develop for a muse who haunts the narrative rather than is directly part of it. i also just enjoy taking and really going wild with the personal interpretation routes on characters, picking specific points and running with them which i did with maria, and which i did with danny and then nancy. just enjoy scruffing characters with just enough or barely anything to them and going wild. its like having a template at first lmao. and then my remake tcsm muses were picked up because im a 03-06 remakes truther, i just enjoy it more than i do the concept for the original timeline. i enjoyed the dynamics of the hewitts, i loved them as characters and im happy that although they arent part of the of timeline or the games', that theres people open to writing with them and indulging in my ( & lambs ) connecting of the families into one c: birdie's been a remake oc for years on & off, and then pepper i know is a recent add & havent gone over her yet but im re-crafting them both to make them a little more intertwined into the game canon (: but maria's my main muse because she'd just been so easy to write? which i havent had a muse take up so much headspace in some time now but i truly do adore her so much.

is there anything you really enjoy writing ? : unfortunately angst and darker themes to a point are my go-to's. im big on looking at complicated thought processes, on traumas, on grief and rage and how both manifest differently. im out of practice on alot due to writers block but i do remember a time when i was big on writing g.ore more viscerally than i currently do, but that was mostly one-on-one with a writing partner offsite. but i enjoy and typically am more interested in darker plots or connections; but im also a sucker for icky-sweet and endearing themes too c; i just often find myself feeling off about it at the start because i feel i come across cringy at times and i typically second-guess alot of the softer prompts i try writing for lmao but once certain dynamics get formed and im more familiar with who im writing with then it becomes easier c: its partly why im slower to ship with.

is there anything you don't like to write ? : i wont write Certain Brands of darker themes and i prefer not having them on the dash so i usually just wont follow if i see them being written by current or potential mutuals. but otherwise, theres not a whole lot that im exactly against writing. i wont really write usfw content unless ive been writing with someone long enough to feel comfortable with them ooc & if theres at least some chemistry between muses. everything else is just dependent i guess.

how do you come up with your headcanons ? : alot of it just comes in swinging, others are influenced and thought up following someone on the dash bringing up something or there being a random post that got reblogged / spotted that inspires it. some of it comes from just brainrotting backstory info, some of its from tt audio edits lmao or just tt in general sometimes. but ive written a whole mess of different types of characters, and sometimes certain aspects of past ones i feel can fit into current and so bits and pieces of those older characters sometimes get adopted into my portrayals here c:

do you write in silence or listen to music ? : depends!! alot of music DOES inspire alot of the writing! but oftentimes actively listening to music as i write distracts me too much. so ill often instead put on specifc songs in a queue to get myself in that vibe headspace for what im planning to write and and turn it off and dive in -- when, of course, the writers block fuckin' lets me write- lmao

do you plan your replies or wing them ? : i sometimes toss in little notes to myself in the drafts as i set them up, but otherwise? not really. im an A-thru-Z writer -- meaning alot of the time, when i start a draft i either write it out start to finish in one go, or thats the only one ill focus on to try and finish. if i bounce around between drafts like most people do i usually burn myself out for whatever reason. usually if i cant finish it in one session though i have a hard time revisiting it another day, because i lost that initial fuel for writing it through all the way. which is also part of why im fairly slow with replies, im sowwy- ;w;

do you enjoy shipping ? : yes!! i love it but im also big on building chemistry between them first and then going into that route if i feel they click. i dont autoship, even if the muses are in a relationship in canon. because sometimes its simply a matter of interpretation of canons that just dont mesh too well between how muns write them -- and thats okay! but once i feel that theres that connection between them, and doubly so if myself & the mun click ooc too? its so over. like for here especially, the dynamics between maria & lamb's johnny is my most ridiculous ship dynamic ive ever worked with and i love every second of it. the amount of different ways we've developed them for their different routes ( and that we're STILL adding to ) has been so much fun and i adore them so much for all the complicated ways their ship goes. c: but yes, i like exploring ships with people whether in fluff or dire or complicated or same stardust, it just very much depends on the chemistry aspect <3

what's your alias / name? : renee! my middle name c: but if you also call me by fog or creature im gucci. im the cryptid standing awkwardly in the middle of some dark dense trees that scurries away out of sight into the fog when im Perceived lmao

zodiac sign ? : im a capricorn moon, sun, and aquarius rising. (: im a multi-placement capricorn though.

Birthday? : january tenth!

favorite color ? : darker greens so -- viridian, platho, forest (:

favorite song? : uhh... its hard to narrow down so ill just say deftones' passenger / digital bath / entombed / s.extape / cherry waves / rosemary c:

last movie you watched ? : oh. uh. tv / movies i havent watched often at all in so long but hmm... honestly probably the remakes i think? to get clips from.

last show you watched?: haunting of hill house c;

last song you listened to? : rosemary -- deftones

favorite food ?: either carne asada fries / carnitas or salt & pepper wings (:

favorite season ? : autumn!

do you have a tumblr best friend ?: i think just from how we've clicked, i'd say lamb <3 just with how much especially we've crafted not just between maria & johnny but also with johnny & the hewitts c; however i'd also say rae & kels too! i love them all dearly and i send them kisses to the sky for being so much fun to have been writing with & getting to know for these past six months <3

TAGGED BY : yoinked from kels c:

TAGGING : anyone go ahead and swipe this <3

[mindrole]

Yo, I somewhat lurk your blog because you make very fun and interesting posts!! Your takes are nice to read and your art is very nice; I simply avoid to reblog because I had this...vibe? I guess? That you wanted your posts to remain a little more hidden away.

That doesn't change the fact that I surely can't be the only one who lurks but certainly loves your work!!!

first of all, thank you for the kind words!!

tbh i kind of just rattled the post off and went to do stuff so i forgot about it, i didn't expect a response, so im super flattered!! (and a little embarassed, perhaps bashful)

its quite kind of you to send this...

the issue of reblogs: i dont mind at all!! as you may have noticed there are two or three posts i have locked reblogs for.. those are obviously NG (mostly either "my interpretation changed drastically so im disowning it" or "ill go back and fix it (<-art)") but everything else is A-OK ❤️ if i don't want something to be reblogged i will lock it. (usually i will leave in the tags or edit the post with the reason)

i love when my stuff is shared around!! and getting nice nonnies like you is always a lot of fun. to be honest i think because those dried up for a while i got a stir crazy

really i'm like, a very sociable person, i like to bounce ideas off of others even if its indirect and even i get really neurotic about stuff. so i read every tag and interaction with a big goofy smile on my face. i like feeling seen, and most people would not disagree that it's nice. so it's like this... i am... a huge geek

i want to be less sheepish about posting in the main tag too. the initial bad experience i had (and caused myself, i don't wanna deny that) can't really be helped anymore, but eventually i wanna be brave about it. i wanna shake off the weird mindset of "i've already ruined my shot so i should stop posting in the tag, everyone probably already has a big ❌️ on me anyway." (if someone doesn't want to see my stuff they probably already have me blocked... so its fine!!! or they can just scroll past. im not taking up any space i shouldn't. i have to learn this!!!)

there are a lot of things i don't tag because either i'm afraid my sense of humor is too esoteric and/or mean spirited or because it is a junk doodle (not in a self deprecating way, its just not something i wanna put in the tag). also cuz i post a lot, it is kind of spam-y. recently i got an ask asking why i hate httr... of course i don't!!! but i love making fun of that baby man so much. so im also wary of maybe, i might upset someone without that context and they think i'm openly posting character hate. that kind of thing, i worry TOO much

(don't worry, that ask was really funny, even if it scrambled my brain a bit)

i think a lot of people who might enjoy the blog also may bounce after reading my pinned and seeing that i don't tag spoilers. that's ok, i hope someone translates the interlude soon because somehow even in its short duration i love it a lot. com is coming out soon too!!! eventually the stock of those characters will rise and they will gain more fans and they will come across my blog and go, woah, this crazy person drew so much art prerelease!!!!. azuma's stock... will also rise!!!

at the end of the day my philosophy is that fan works are things we share out of love and passion, loving the works of others and making are like a symbiotic relationship, one cannot exist without the other. seeing other people's stuff makes me wanna make too. that kind of thing. this applies to both fan work and original work actually.

sorry you got subjected to my mentally ill ramble... im really thankful to have gotten this ask genuinely.. it super made my day

i hope you continue to enjoy the blog ^^

[silvercloudedskies]

decided i wanted to do a little explaining of my thoughts behind lisa's playlist! with all of my playlists, i attempt to make them a combination of songs reminding me of the character and songs that the character might listen to! lisa is such a special character to me; i see my younger and current self in her and a lot of these songs have personal connections as well as the ones that i'll write about here. if songs appear and disappear from the playlist after i post this, i am sorry; i tend to edit my playlists organically as ideas come and go and as i learn more about characters. without further ado, song explanations are below:

moaning lisa smile is pretty self-explanatory; it's written about lisa and is also a super fun song that i just like listening to!

moon dreams and jazz is for ordinary people are instrumentals that remind me of lisa's music. moon dreams is also from her canon favorite album (birth of the cool by miles davis).

powers is here for two reasons - first of all, i think lisa would 10000 percent listen to boygenius on a daily basis. secondly, its lyrics remind me of lisa's characterization in "lisa the simpson" where she questions her intelligence, which i interpret as the "powers" of the song. also, there's a line about a nuclear reactor which ties the whole thing up nicely.

someday is another jazz tune, which automatically makes it fit at least a little bit with lisa! i picked it specifically, though, because lisa is a character who is frequently bullied despite knowing, or at least hoping (depending on the episode) that her future is bright.

numb little bug is a bit stereotypical, but it sums up lisa's alienation in springfield and her lack of connections/friendships. also, she's eight; i feel like despite her intelligence she might still have a bit of a more "basic" taste in music sometimes! and that's okay! cringe culture is dead!!

caroline is a song that's very special to me, and its lyrics describe lisa's character very well. "locks herself behind the light and spins her favorite records" ... i mean... c'mon that is incredibly lisa coded.

dead girl in the pool. is another song that reminded me of lisa's alienation, in a much more abstract/symbolic way. also, since lisa is almost certainly queer ("future" episodes and showrunners have dealt with this), i wanted to include some music by queer artists; i listened to a LOT of girl in red when i was figuring all of that out and i think she would too.

starman was mostly chosen for the vibes. i'm definitely projecting, but lisa would like bowie. i can feel it. also, starman to me represents yearning, much as lisa often yearns for a different life.

dear god is a song about atheism, which i think reflects lisa's perspectives on religion quite well. the first lines of the song (before the singer switches), which are a bit too many in number to put here, are especially poignant considering homer's obvious alcoholism and her constant questions of authority.

are you satisfied is one of the best-fitting songs for any gifted/former gifted kid that i've ever heard. "are you satisfied with an average life" is something that i can see lisa asking herself every day in springfield. the lyrics even discuss lying to further one's future, which lisa even does in a particular episode when she makes a new friend (the title escapes me at the moment).

poughkeepsie's always proud encapsulates how lisa (and bart, the song fits both in my opinion) are defined by growing up in springfield. if, as episodes have suggested, lisa ends up at an ivy league school, she may very well be "poughkeepsie's springfield's favorite daughter".

vienna and you're gonna go far both represent the idea of lisa's eventual exit from springfield, and also the loss of what she might leave behind.

i need to be alone. fits an idea that i'm really interested in exploring - the somewhat "meta" idea of springfield being an unchanging world. if any character would notice that, i think it would be lisa.

kyoto stands in for lisa's complicated relationship with her family, especially homer. i think lisa leaving and growing to dislike homer, as much as it saddens me, is a possibility. i don't mean to hate on him by the way! i just think the simpson family dynamic is so complicated and this *could* be an outcome.

darn that dream is another one from lisa's favorite album! not too much to say about this one; a bit of metaphorical yearning here as well.

a poem on the underground wall, piano man, sappho, cemetry gates, letter to an old poet, and the adults are talking are all songs that i associate with lisa mostly from vibes. they're all a bit sad, a bit mature, and i think she would find them either comforting or saddening depending on the day.

we didn't start the fire and nina cried power are both songs that remind me of lisa's activism and passion for fixing the state of the world. she has a lot of opinions and i love how she's not afraid to speak them!

bugbear and gifted kid burnout are more songs about, well, gifted kid burnout. i experienced this and i can see it in lisa's future too.

your best american girl is another song that's, in a way, about family, and it reminds me a lot of lisa in "lard of the dance". she likes her values and how in some ways she acts her age, and i think there's something to be said for that here.

the impatient years is a song by ella fitzgerald, who i am POSITIVE lisa enjoys. i can feel it. and lisa, certainly, is in her impatient years (and probably will be until she heads off to college).

i am not a robot was recommended by @herschelkrustofsky and i really think it speaks to how lisa doesn't feel bound by conformity! i wouldn't have thought of this one on my own but i love how well it works!!

finally, the outside is a song that i listened to religiously as a lonely child, and i think that if lisa were so inclined, she would too. sad country taylor swift works here because i said so yippee!

WOW that was a lot of words!! if you made it to the end good job!! i hope you like the playlist and your newfound understanding of it! yay!!!!

lisa playlist!! i love her to pieces and find her character very relatable so there’s some Emotions in this one. perpetually under construction as always!

[standingappablog]

My interpretation of Toni and Shelbys relationship.

I am re-watching the wilds and I wanna talk about a few things I missed in my first viewing. 

Toni

Starting off in episode one, which I think a lot of us picked up on the gay vibe from both of them, was Tonis front with shelby at the beginning of the show. All talk, and takes no shit. But you can spot her flustered moment easily when Shelby puts her hands on her shoulders and when she begins to sing (while she pees yes lol) But you can just SEE IT on her face. This quickly subsides though as not long after Toni lets a tree branch fly back in her face.

The writers also try confuse you and make you think the reason why Toni  dislikes Shelby so much (at least untill episode 6 before the homophobia) is becuase of her possibly stealing her best friend away. Which of course played a part in it too.

The scenes of her looking at Martha and shelby was a common 0occurrence. You notice though, in most scenes how Martha is sort of out focus and in the backround while shelby takes up most of the shot. Indicating that shelby is the person Tonis gaze is fixed on.

I think the reason why Toni so strongly disliked Shelby in the beginning  is becuase she found herself attracted to her, which she obviously didnt like. With shelby having this happy go lucky optimistic front, and all the jesus talk really clashed with her pretty pesimistic personality. Not to mention how Toni thinks Shelby is extreamly privileged,which in a lot of aspects of her life she is. Considerably more after you find out Tonis backstory. So with that knowledge of her backround you could see why she would assume her life is better than hers. I mean she is a rich white girl from texas, so her assumption wasnt unreasonable. To Toni the idea of liking someone like Shelby is unexpected for her, so she does as much as possible to push her away. Explaining why she was pretty rude to her for the first half of the series. 

Along with Shelbys little “westburo baptist” moment Toni got pretty angry (rightly so) and this probably solidified the irationality of thease feelings she had for Shelby. Giving her even more of a reason to dislike her.

 Despite this Toni finds it in herself to try cheer her up when the two run into each other in the woods after Shelbys biggest insecurity is revealed by leahs theories. Tonis feelings for Shelby are on view a little bit here. Beforehand she barely could interact with her without expressing her dislike for Shelby.

 Though the mood shifts again after Shelby brings up the subject of her views on being gay.

Right up until shelby kisses her, Toni outwardly berates Shelby on how medieval her veiws are, and what a priveleged life she leads. She tells her on this island they are free, and Shelby takes this opportunity to show who she really is.

The kiss the two share as we all saw was in no way one sided, Toni does kiss her back. Obvioiusly this shocks Toni, as well as shelby herself. WIth shelby running off as she tries to escape what she just did with a girl who she thought hated her.

You immideatly see Toni run after her. Her feelings for this girl who Toni thought hated who she was where reciprocated. In this moment her whole attitude towards Shelby changes as she begins to understand why she is the way she is.

Shelby

Shelbys sexuality was pretty obvious to many of the LGBT viewers, we have all been there, obviously not the religious cult part, but putting up a front, hiding who we are. So it was easy to tell that she was gay from the beggining. Its also pretty common in the media to portray a closeted LGBT person like this. The question was how the writers where going to go about revealing the fact that she is gay.

You notice Shelbys attempts to be friendly towards Toni pretty early on with inviting her out to the first exhibition. Of course we all know it ends with her getting a branch to the face. But when questioned about the cut on her temple, she doesnt reveal that Toni was the one who caused it. 

Though as we all know as Shelby begins to become friends with Martha, Toni becomes increasingly more hostile towards her. Probably shattering the hopes of being friends. So we see less of Shelbys perspective of the relestionship between the two from her, and more from Toni. The two become pretty bitter with each other after the shelter building contest, the tension rising pretty quickly, although it seems that Toni is always the one who initiates the fights they have. Even after Toni destroys the hut and storms off, Shelby goes to find her and still tries to have a friendly conversation, possibly she went to comfort her, but of course we know from watching Toni interact with those around her she only initates in deep conversation with those she trusts, and the weird feelings she has for Shelby probably didnt help. 

Fast forward to episode six and Shelby has her little moment when the others are joking around with the shellfish. Of course this one isnt as subtle as previous scenes but it shows Shelbys internalized homophobia.The gestures Toni demonstrated made her uncomfortable becuase she knew thats who she was, the idea of being gay freaked her out, so she did the only thing to stop it. To lash out and reveal how she truely felt about herself. She proably never intended on revealing this, becuase really she doesnt hate the fact that Toni is gay. She hated the fact that she is gay herself. This probably shattered any hope of frienship with Toni after this incedent. (She also mentioned to martha afterwards that she knew it would happen, this revealation pushed everyone away from her considerably for the rest of the season)

When everyone begins to get sick, we see Shelby desperatly trying to prove to everyone and Toni that, she doesnt hate her. Ofcourse we knew by now that the two felt something for each other. In a way this was Shelbys feelings acting out. Her romantic feelings yes, but mostly guilt.Ignoring the others offers to let them give her the pill, instead she desperatly overcomes Tonis pride. Making her take the pill  forcably, so that she would stay alive.

Just before the two share their first kiss, shelby finally opens up about how miserable she finds her life. Toni as we know with a troubled backround claims that she cant “out sad” her. The only thing that Toni has that Shelby doesnt is freedom. Toni seeing the solution around them points out she is more free than ever and that moment you see the contemplation in her face, you can almost see whats going on in her mind just before she leans in and impulsively kisses Toni.

She then runs, obviously horrified with herself. The immeanse internalised homohpbia making her feel ashamed for following her heart.

I honestly loved watching this couple come together, their chemistry and writing was great and super intriuging to watch. I am glad a rewatched it again, there was a few things I missed out on in the first veiwing becuase i was too busy chanting “kiss! kiss! kiss!” everytime they appeared on screen together. This is completley my interpretation of their releationship and how the scenes are done, I honestly could be completley wrong and they are as they are shown to be on the surface. I just really enjoy delving deep into the motives and feelings of characters I enjoy watching. :)

*Edit* My apologies if this is written bad! At the time when I wrote this I was extremely tired. I hadn't slept the night before and I was just back from a full day of school.

[azumasoroshi]

okay this is kinda long overdue BUT i have many noumu hawks sketches and i just think they’re kinda neat

first sketch! note that the “BONE WINGS???” never became a reality, but I have entertained the idea in some other wips.

Bone wings are the coolest thing ever man idk what to say

and yeah the boa came from ujiko in the final because i don’t think dabi would have a feather boa hanging around and ujiko is just weird enough for it to be less questionable

the boa has no symbolism i swear its just a replacement for hawks’ fluffy coat

working on the face was. interesting

(this one made me giggle uncontrollably for about five minutes)

the eyes look better here LMAO

the split face was a cool idea, but i ended up not going with it in the end mostly because it looked kinda weird LOL

full outline!

one of my discord members said that hawks looked like he had little t-rex arms and i havent stopped laughing at it since

personally i was aiming for him to be copying dabi’s frankenstein pose, and i think it ended up looking more like the “is he....yknow...” meme so many different interpretations here it seems

the general color scheme! note the second pair of wings added lmfao

his claws look weirder every time i look at them but. these drawings were made in december give me a break

more sketches! these are pretty bad ngl (when noumu hawks has more of an ass than living hawks) but they give off the creepy vibes he was intended to have pretty well i think

it was at this point that i really started to forget that noumu hawks was supposed to have a scar over his eye like in canon, so that got completely omitted from YLMTM unfortunately

it was also at this point that i started drawing the mouth tearing open through noumu hawks’ face all over my schoolwork and my teachers would be like “ayo what the fuck is this” and i wouldnt be able to respond because 1. id have to explain noumu 2. id have to explain hawks 3. id have to explain why hawks was a noumu 4. id have to explain dabihawks and just. no thank you

oh MAN this was a doozy

i can’t recall if this exact scene happened in YLMTM but it’s just noumu hawks protecting dabi and dabi being like nooo

while i was drawing it i was like “this is so cool omg” and then i finished it and i was like “oh hell naw”

this was drawn in march, so not too long ago! i’d like to go back and edit it a bit, but ibispaint crashes my entire tablet every time i try to open it because there’s so many layers, so i’ve resigned myself to never being able to fix it unless i redraw everything, unfortunately.

still pretty proud of those wings though like goddamn

and here we get to the most recent update to noumu hawks’ design! i drew this like two days ago so it’s pretty indicative of my current style hehe

i’m sure i’ll find all the problems with it soon enough but right now i think that looks pretty damn good

i changed up the eyes and claws a bit, and i think they look better now :D

i have many more sketches but most of them are on paper homework and aren’t very good, so that’s all for now lol

anyway if you’re seeing this on your dash and you have no idea what im talking about or what YLMTM is, boy do i have the angsty dabihawks fanfiction for you

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30914087

[ljf613]

Colonization & Imperialism in ATLA

One of the things I’ve noticed in fandom complaints about the ATLA comics-- namely, “The Promise”-- and subsequently, LOK’s worldbuilding, is the way the narrative handles colonization. 

I see a lot about how what the Earth Kingdom chose to do with the former colonies is “none of Zuko’s (or Aang’s) business.” (I also see people talking about how Katara would never support colonialism, in any shape or form, no matter the circumstances.) 

And I just.... don’t vibe with those ideas? At all? 

Like, I definitely have problems with the comics-- especially “The Promise,” where all the drama centers around Miscommunications of Epic Proportions and could have been resolved in Part One if all the characters just sat down and listened to each other (not to mention that Aang would never have agreed to make that promise, nor would Zuko have asked it of him (Sokka would be a more obvious choice, but that’s a different discussion))-- but I never had any issues with their worldbuilding. 

I love the idea of Yu Dao, and the fact that the narrative acknowledges that a new kind of world has new kinds of problems. It makes sense to me that we can’t always just “give back the land we took.” And I found the idea of the end solution being  “give the people who live there their own country” really cool and empowering. 

So I want to talk about why I feel this way. About what kind of real-world parallels can be made here. About some little-known bits of world-history that compare. 

(Please note that for this meta I am only going to be discussing the relationship between Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. As far as I am aware-- and I could be wrong-- there is no real-world genocide quite comparible to what Sozin did to the Air Nomads, and most of the people alive in ATLA were not actually around for or involved in that. And the relationship the Fire Nation has with the Water Tribes-- and that the North and South have with each other-- is worth a whole separate analysis, and doesn’t deserve to just be shoved into this one.)

(Disclaimer: While this is in response to some of the interpretations I’ve seen on this site, it is not meant to discount or invalidate those fans’ views-- I’m just trying to show my take on it. I am a firm believer in the power of active discourse, and the value of looking at the same scenes through different lenses, rather than just getting one opinion and accepting it as Absolute Truth.) 

The main thing I notice in general ATLA discourse-- and not just on this topic, but in any sort of meta about the Fire Nation, colonization, and global impact-- is that the fandom mostly compares the war and its after-affects to real-world Imperialism, the Age of Imperialism, New Imperialism, and Colonization. 

And I understand why that is. In the grand scheme of world history, that era is still fairly recent, and we are still dealing with the afteraffects from it. It has shaped the Western World’s worldview on every level. (Not to mention that the Euro-centric way we’re taught history means that this piece of world history is the one we’re most exposed to, and so have the most understanding of and room to analyze/criticize.) 

However, there are a few issues with sticking only to this perspective. 

First off, the Age of Imperialism was a direct response to the Age of Exploration. This was the period of time when white Europeans sailed around the world acting as though they were discovering new places and pretending that there weren’t already existing civilizations there. 

[ID: Two dots meme, edited so that Guy A says “i’ve discovered a NEW WORLD,” Guy B replies “you didn’t discover ****,” and Guy A insists “i’ve discovered it” / End ID.] 

Now, I’ve mentioned this in passing, but the world of ATLA doesn’t appear to have had an Age of Exploration. There’s no vast “undiscovered” land masses, the four nations have always known about each other, and they all have a shared language. 

The whole foundation for the Age of Imperialism was “oh, look, there are all these ‘unexplored’ lands with resources ripe for the picking (who cares about the indigenous people, they’re just simplistic savages who don’t know what’s best for them), let’s see which European country can grab the most land first.” 

This was a race. This was sudden. This was Europeans coming in and taking over while viewing the natives as bothersome pests. This was about multiple major world powers competing over resources. 

This was not 100 years of active warfare between a single conquering country and the very people they were trying to conquer. 

The parallels don’t hold up. 

Secondly, by focussing only on this one kind of historical narrative, we ignore any others. 

I will admit that I have used the word “imperialism” in reference to the Fire Nation a time or two. However, upon further reflection, I realize I didn’t really mean imperialism, which is actually a fairly modern concept. What I feel the Fire Nation is really an example of is centralism and expansionism-- two ideaologies that have been a way of life for conquering empires throughout history. 

(I am in no way qualified to explain the differences between these concepts-- I recommend doing your own research if you’re curious.) 

The Persian Empire. The Greek Empire. The Roman Empire. The Byzantine Empire. The Mongolian Empire. The Russian Empire. The First French Empire. 

You could take any of these (or numerous others) and make an interesting analysis between the similarities and differences between their behaviors and that of the Fire Nation. And maybe I’ll do that someday. 

However, I started this to talk about Yu Dao and all of the other so-called colonies (I really feel like territories would be a better word, but, again, that’s a whole ’nother discussion), and I’d like to focus on that. 

FYI, here’s a basic history refresher: If two countries are at war, and then they decide to end the war, neither country is required to return captured territories. They can make a treaty and agree to do so, but there is no obligation to. The Fire Nation didn’t just march in and say, “this is our land now”-- they fought for it. They captured that land. Just because the war is over doesn’t mean they need to just give it back. 

Like it or not, that is the way the world operated for thousands of years, and so that is the interpretation I’m working with here. 

In any case, “The Promise” actually presents this as a three-way conversation. There’s Zuko (and, by default, the Fire Nation), Kuei (and, by default, Ba Sing Se and the Earth Kingdom), and the people of Yu Dao themselves. 

(My understanding of the Earth Kingdom’s style of government is that it’s made up of a large collection of different ethno-cultural regions who all answer to Ba Sing Se.) 

I’ll let Sokka explain it: 

[ID: Comic panel from Part Three of “The Promise.” Sokka and Katara are talking, both in obvious states of agitation, while Suki and Toph are looking at something in the background. Sokka is saying, “Let me see if I got this. The protestors and the Earth Kingdom Army want the colonials to go, the Fire Nation Army wants the colonials to stay, and the Yu Dao Resistance just want their city to be left alone?” Katara responds, “Yes!” / End ID.] 

The people of Yu Dao don’t care about the war. They don’t even really care who’s in charge. They just want to be left alone. 

This speaks to me on a very personal level, so I’m going to make another real-world comparison here: 

My ancestors first came to America to escape from the poverty and opression they were experiencing in a place known as “White Russia”-- that is, Belarus. To be clear, I am not talking about the country “Belarus,” but the region, which includes the modern-day countries of Lithuania, Ukraine, Belarus, Latvia and Moldova, as well as parts of Poland and Russia. 

I looked up White Russia, trying to find out how much information someone who didn’t grow up hearing stories about what it was like (that is, most of the people reading this,) might have. I didn’t find much. Most of what I found talked about political ideologies and such-- things that your average poor peasant, struggling just eke out a living, didn’t have much energy to care about. So let me paint a(n oversimplified) picture for you. 

Imagine you’re a poor shoemaker in a small town on the Russian border. You spend your days hard at work, trying to earn a living to support your wife and nine children. You’ve never left the town you were born in. One day you get the news: Russia and Poland are fighting again. Your two oldest sons (ages 15 and 17) are forcibly drafted off to fight in the Russian army; you never see them again and have no way of knowing if they’re dead or alive (they’re probably dead). Poland wins-- this time. Congratulations, your town is now part of Poland. 

Does suddenly being Polish make a difference to your life? Not in the slightest. Two or three years down the line, you’ll go back to being part of Russia again. This is the third or fourth time you’ve seen your town switch hands, and you can’t say you prefer one government over the other. It doesn’t really matter who’s in charge-- you’re still faced with crippling taxes, forced drafts, and various other forms of oppression. (It doesn’t help that you happen to be part of a persecuted minority.) 

(This is why I have many ancestors who may never have left the town they were born in, and yet records show that they were born in one country, got married in another, and died in a third.) 

This is the kind of worldview through which I am looking at Yu Dao. (Obviously, it’s not an exact parallel, but neither is the standard “colonizers vs oppressed natives” lens.) 

My ancestors eventually got fed up with the treatment they were receiving from their respective governments, and left to build a new life, in a new place. But the citizens of Yu Dao don’t have anywhere to go. The only two real world powers in this story are the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom, neither of which has ever before expressed any true interest or concern in the actual people of Yu Dao. 

The Earth Kingdom didn’t really care about the city before the war-- they were just another poor, struggling town, whose citizens were barely able to make ends meet. And while the Fire Nation may have helped the place grow into a bustling town, they also established a hierarchy that did not serve in the citizens’ best interests. 

And so, in “The Promise,” these citizens’ frustrations come to a head. “Enough,” they say, “we don’t want to be used as a pawn in your games anymore.” 

And Zuko and Kuei (and Aang) actually listen. They say “we need to start thinking about these people as people, not as symbols of one side or the other. It’s time to give them a say in their future.” 

And a new country-- a new way of life-- is born. 

(Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But it is constantly evolving and changing, trying to do better, be better. And that’s more than you can say about most of the other countries in this world.)

[peachcitt]

peach's top songs to project adrien agreste onto: waterparks edition

(disclaimer: the title is not to say that there will ever be other editions, but i did want to specify that this list is entirely comprised of songs made by the band waterparks. thank you)

ive been experiencing adrien agreste brain worms in relation specifically to waterparks, which is one of my favorite bands, and since ive been going insane over the adrien-specific feelings these songs have been giving me, i decided to make a master list of exactly how i project adrien onto these songs. this is going to be a long one

structure:

Intro

Airplane Conversations

Black Light

Cluster

Double Dare

Entertainment

Fandom

Greatest Hits

Conclusion

1. intro

it should be mentioned that i originally started hardcore projecting adrien onto waterparks songs after i started making my mlb radio rebel au in which adrien is a pop singer for his dad/in a band for fun with his best friends. i was trying to figure out what adrien's music might sound like, or what vibe his music would give off, and my mind immediately went to waterparks because they're one of my favorite bands and also because im insane.

in my head, for the au specifically, waterparks' earlier garage-band sounds from their EPs (airplane conversations, black light, cluster) would've matched up to adrien's band for fun in the au, and their later more pop-leaning songs from later albums (mostly fandom but also double dare and entertainment) would've matched up to the pop songs he released under his father's label. so that's how it started, which is, like, the most absurd origin story ever, but such is how it goes.

it should also be mentioned that i don't project adrien onto EVERY song, and the songs i do project him on aren't like. the most perfect fit, but there are always certain lines that scream adrien, and if it's like that, then i will include the song on the list.

with that explained, let's actually talk about the songs i project adrien onto and why:

2. airplane conversations

like i mentioned earlier, waterparks has a couple of garage-band sounding EPs, and this is for sure one of them. airplane conversations is the first EP they released, and the main themes are: feeling stuck, recognizing the fact that you are Growing Up, and being in love

5/5 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

silver

the song starts with:

"i’ll be the silver lining around your fence used to protect yourself from all the world and its sharp teeth 'cause my open hand and heart think you belong with me"

which is very ladynoir-esque. the beginning line of wanting to be "the silver lining" around the other person's protective fence against the rest of the world reminds me so strongly of chat's place as ladybug's partner; she wanted so badly to guard herself against the rest of the world after she became the guardian, and chat saw that and wanted to be her bright side to all the stress of being the guardian/a superhero. he stayed beside her and joked around because he loved her but also because he recognized that he needed something bright - a silver lining - to balance out all her stress. and "my open hand and heart think you belong with me" is pretty self explanatory, but chat's heart is always open for ladybug - as a partner, as a friend, as a potential lover. he supports her, in any and every way she might need.

in the second verse, we get:

"I was the one who kept myself standing tall You were the light at the end of the hall"

which relates to adrien enduring his dismal home life. his father and the work his father imposes on him isn't easy, but adrien was and still is able to stand tall beneath it all - partly because of what he wants for himself (he ran away to public school entirely on his own, after all), but also because ladybug is there to mark and signify the freedom and love he feels with her as chat noir.

bones of '92

so bones of '92 isn't. like a super adrien song, mostly because it's very much about the struggles waterparks was having as a new band, however the outro is. well. it's:

"i won’t let you down just promise that you won’t forget about me can’t stop the future from settling but i can change the way it feels just promise that you won’t forget about me"

this feels like adrien is speaking to his father in the first couple of lines ("i won't let you down / just promise you won't forget about me") because of how much of a strict and absent father gabriel is. i think adrien, at least in part, believes that the only way he is able to gain affection from his father is by doing exactly as he says and going along with what his father wants.

the next couple of lines ("can't stop the future from settling / but i can change the way it feels") is adrien's hopeful call to the future. he's stuck right now with his father, and he maybe even thinks that he'll always be stuck doing what his father wants, but he can change how he feels by being chat noir. by being chat noir, adrien is taking hold of his own future and his own feelings, shining a positive light on the future that he may not have had before.

the last line, a repetition of "just promise that you won't forget about me" could again be talking to his father, another plea after expressing his own desire, like he thinks that his father won't approve of him wanting his own things. or it could be adrien talking to ladybug or even the city itself; adrien loves being chat noir, but he's not really as popular as ladybug, and he also fears his relationship with ladybug. he needs frequent reminders from her that he's valuable and important to her, and so this fear of being forgotten - by her or Paris - tracks well with his character.

i was hiding under your porch because i love you

also not a huge adrien song BUT the line "it's just you and me / through all these inconsistencies" screams ladynoir

they all float

again, not a huge adrien song but my powers of projecting are unmatched and the line "this time i'll do things the way you wanted / it's not right, but it's just the way you wanted / lay it all on me, 'cause i'm all ears" is another adrien to gabriel line.

fantastic

i did not really consider this an adrien song until i looked up the lyrics and realized it was. im right. we have the chorus:

"i can't imagine fast enough to settle on a dream but i've spent this winter wondering when they're gonna settle on me and there's some things i've just gotta know but one thing's for sure"

which is another inscription of adrien's hopelessness in regards to his position with his father; he's never been given the opportunity to truly figure out what he wants for himself, and so he doesn't even really know where to start. the "one thing" that's for sure can be interpreted as the controlling hand gabriel has on his life, or it can take a more hopeful tone, considering that we have seen adrien take those first steps to move out of gabriel's control - by going to public school and by becoming chat noir. the "one thing" for sure could be gabriel, but it can also be that, for sure, adrien will always find ways to escape gabriel.

in the post chorus, we get:

"and i can't wait to go outside and spend my summers contemplating what I'm gonna do with my life"

which lends hope to adrien's "one thing" being him able to escape because of the excited tone of the lines. he "can't wait to go outside" as chat noir, outside of the mansion, and take time to contemplate what he wants from his own life, for himself.

3. black light

black light is the second EP waterparks released, and it's another garage-band sounding EP. the main themes of this EP are: being frustrated with your situation and the people in it, and wanting to carve out a better future for yourself

4/6 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

christmas

this is!!!!such an adrien song!!!!!! this is one of the songs that i picture adrien's band playing in my au i mentioned earlier. we start the song with:

"i fell asleep last winter woke up and it was august not much has changed, yeah, i still feel the same but i’m slowly making progress"

which fits into the themes of adrien's character i talked about during airplane conversations of adrien going through the motions of what his father tells him to, but slowly trying to break out of that control and make progress for his own goals.

in the chorus we get:

"i’m just waiting and i’m just saying maybe the end is near but all that means is a new beginning"

this isn't like. super adrien related but i still think it deserves mentioning because of how it progresses through the song (which i will mention in a second), but i think it relates well to the "growing up/fearing the future" stuff we've talked about.

we get a featured singer sing this part (which in my au nino sings, it doesn't matter):

"i’m just waiting for my chance to put a picture of me, put a picture of me in the dream scenes of dream scenes of dream scenes of dream scenes of my ideal future"

which, again, relates to adrien wanting to be able to call his future his own, outside of his father.

and in the outro, we get the lyrics from the chorus changed up a little, so that we get:

"i was waiting and i was saying the end wasn’t ours to fear and all it meant was a new beginning"

in my head, because of the way the tenses change from present to past, this would be adrien's perspective after the events of his childhood and teenage years. but because his youth is also so tied up with being chat noir and defeating hawkmoth (who is his father) i think this is such. this is such an emotional and hopeful line, looking at this from adrien's point of view. after defeating hawkmoth, despite how truly grueling that might be for him, he becomes free from gabriel's control. growing up, defeating hawkmoth, facing the end of childhood means adrien can have a new beginning. he can have his ideal future.

american history

american history isn't fully adriencore but the line "the action's a fraction of how much this hurts" is very much "we're teenage superheroes fighting supervillains every day and somehow the action of the fights is not the worst thing that's happening in my life"

new wave

i actually named my au after this song because it's such a bright, upbeat song against adults who try to tell you the way the things you do isn't right. it fits right in with the theme of the au, and it can also be applied to ladybug and chat noir's fight against hawkmoth.

in the first verse we get:

"call it new wave say it like you should because a call to arms is a calling card and i’m calling soon hoping i can get through to you"

which is like. hawkmoth is "calling to arms" his akumas, which in turn acts as a calling card for ladybug and chat noir. the "i'm calling soon / hoping i can get through to you" is chat noir specific because of the fact that hawkmoth is his father; instead of just defeating him, adrien will probably feel some empathy towards his father and want to get through to him.

in the pre-chorus, we get:

"every single time you throw your white flag down and surrender like every single second's just another second spent to lose but this is something i can’t lose"

which translates to hawkmoth akumatizing a new person nearly every day but still pulling back and "surrendering" after the akuma is defeated. he's playing the long game; he's confident that, eventually, he'll defeat ladybug and chat, and so he doesn't really care if he loses another day. but for ladybug and chat noir, this is life or death. they can't afford to lose to an akuma even once or else they lose the miraculous, maybe their lives, and definitely paris. they can't lose.

the outro is a variation on the intro and it's:

"call it new wave until it's all washed up because we'll be crashing soon but before we do i hope i get through through to you"

which refers to ladybug, chat noir, and hawkmoth "crashing" together in their final battle, but, before they do, adrien hopes to get through to his father, connect with him. and maybe that might make the "crashing into each other" less severe.

night maps

night maps is another song that fit into my au; it starts with:

"i couldn’t keep up with watering myself down and so all that grew was the high tide until i drowned the oxygen had all run out and now i’m left dried up and standing here"

which translates to adrien being drained and watered down to be the image his father wants him to be. the rest of the song, however, is about finding a place for yourself and beginning the process of being yourself again, which, for adrien means being chat noir.

4. cluster

cluster rounds out the early garage-band EPs as the third and final EP. the main themes of this EP are: being separated from someone you love and feeling frustrated about your situation.

4/5 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

crave

this is a very bittersweet song about being in love, which makes it, for my intents and purposes, a very bittersweet song about being in love with ladybug. at the beginning of the song, we get:

"i wish i could forget you but it's out of hand i wish i was aggressive and had a plan"

in canon, adrien dated kagami, but still obviously had feelings for ladybug. he did, however, like kagami a lot, and so he might've wished that he could forget his feelings for ladybug, especially knowing she can't reciprocate and he had an amazing girl right in front of him. he wants a plan to get out of feeling for her and for feeling for kagami.

in the chorus, we get:

"i'm cravin', a getaway from the smooth talk, that's keeping me grounded to the, carpet in my room my quiet blue tomb of you"

as chat, adrien can't resist flirting with ladybug because that's the friendship they've established with themselves, and ladybug is always smoothly replying back to him with jokes of her own. her banter, as much as he loves it and values it, keeps him thinking about her when he's alone in his room instead of thinking about kagami. his love for ladybug shouldn't be - she can't love him back and he is in a relationship with someone else - and so his bedroom where his innermost desires come to light becomes a guilty sort of place.

territory

territory is so ladynoir it hurts. in the intro we get the lines:

"i wear my game face in your headspace where it's storming at least most days we are both like that we are both the same"

which translates to ladybug and chat meeting, at most points in time, in order to fight akumas - hence, they always have to have their "game faces" on. ladybug's headspace is "storming" most days because of her stress with being the guardian and fighting akumas - and they find solace in each other's company because they're both teenagers burdened with way more than they should be.

the bridge gives us:

"i'm gonna hunt you down cause i'm a handful i'm gonna freak you out but it's all substantial so bring me bad news anything you have to just to keep me on my toes"

which is how chat views the way he tells his feelings to ladybug; he knows she'll probably "bring him bad news" by rejecting him, but he wants to continue being around her in her territory - he wants to be her friend, and he also wants to keep loving her.

pink

pink can also be a song about adrien loving ladybug, especially with the chorus lyric of "you're one of my favorite few" which is just. SO sweet and romantic but anyway. in the pre-chorus we get the lines:

"i'll watch you from my telescope; my eyes stuck to my favorite show i barely get more than a glimpse but it's better than nothing, yeah, i know"

which is like. adrien doesn't really get to see ladybug often, at least not in a relaxed setting like he really wants to. he feels far away from her, but when he does get the chance to be near her, he tries to absorb as much from the interaction as he can, throwing out dumb puns, flirting, and generally trying to get to know her in between akuma fights. it's not the ideal way he'd choose to spend time with her, but it's better than nothing.

no capes

no capes is another song about adrien wanting to be different that what he should be (with lines like "the anything slash everything that i should be / but i don't want to be like that") but this one takes a more somber and scared tone, which could relate to the fears he feels as chat noir.

the pre-chorus is literally just the line "no one will ever love us the way that i do." for adrien, being chat noir is so important to him, considering his home life, and he knows ladybug likes him, but she doesn't love him. he loves their partnership, he loves her - he fears he'll be in a position where he's wanting this (being a superhero, being friends) more than she does.

in the bridge, we get the lines:

"i hope you watch me through the letdown 'cause no one will be here, be here forever"

which could translate to any anxieties he feels about what happens after they achieve their goal of defeating hawkmoth. adrien has a lot of issues - issues about adults in his life disappearing/dying or emotionally leaving him behind - and he doesn't want ladybug to be another person to leave him behind after everything is over. he wants to still be able to be friends with her, maybe even learn her true name. but he fears that won't happen.

5. double dare

with double dare, we've breached album territory: double dare was waterparks' first official album, and it started branching into more polished, pop-leaning songs. the main themes of this album are: being tired and frustrated with something that you should like and loving someone who may not love you back

5/13 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

stupid for you

stupid for you is ladynoir. it's ladynoir so hard. i mean, we have lines like:

"you're yellow, i'm natural blue let's get together and be green like my insides"

which. okay i know adrien is generally seen as the yellow golden boy and he is! but like, looking at him in comparison to marinette/ladybug and actual color theory, he's more of a natural blue. he's more likely to fall victim to negative thoughts than marinette is; she's generally more positive, more 'yellow.' (also, when you consider that their character design colors are each other's colors when inversed, this also makes sense - adrien is 'blue' beneath his appearance and marinette is 'yellow') and the "let's get together and be green like my insides" relates because green is a chat noir color. he wants them, in their 'yellow' and 'blue' contrasting moods to get together and be green, like chat noir, who is generally silly and joking around. he wants them to be able to be silly together.

in the chorus, we get:

"hey, tell me what you want me to say you know i'm stupid for you hey, can you come and come out and play? you know i'm stupid for you"

which is like how he is after he's been rejected; he doesn't know what to say after she tries to get him to stop flirting. he wants her to give him blueprints of how to act so that she'll like him (i.e. what color rose he gives her), but he still wants to be around her and and joke around with her.

in the bridge, we get:

"Just double dare me And I promise now that I'll stay It's not like you're married but I still got carried away"

which further develops his insecurities in regards on how to interact with her - he knows she didn't like when he confessed to her, that it made her feel guilty and a little upset because she couldn't return her feelings, and he got carried away with his over-the-top methods. but if she were to ask him to stay with her, in any sense of the word, he would do it in a heartbeat.

in the second chorus, we get:

"you're playing ring around my head i wear you like a halo you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note i'll take what i can get the best is hard to grip when everybody wants you and everybody wants you"

which conveys how ladybug is always on his mind ("you're playing ring around my head") but he likes this fact - or at the very least he doesn't mind it ("i wear you like a halo"). he sees her as someone who is so good and so out of reach for him ("you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note") but he still wants to be around her as much as he can. he'll take what he can get in terms of her time and attention, because he knows how the entire city is vying for her attention - she's the face of paris and she's the guardian and she has her own life to attend to - he thinks that maybe to her, he's just another person in her life who wants her.

royal

royal is only kind of an adrien song with lines like "i'm two faced from your double exposure" about his conflicting personas between what his father wants from him and what he himself wants to be, and this is especially poignant because of the "double exposure" metaphor, like the cameras adrien is behind for his modelling jobs are what make him "two faced"

royal is also about working so hard but not knowing if the pay off is worth it, which also relates to adrien's job with his father.

take her to the moon

take her to the moon is a "adrien loving ladybug song" with lines such as:

"i wanna make my way into your kiss i wanna live inside your mind next to your favorite songs i won't slow my pace until your walkway i wanna lose my mood inside a late night phone call with you"

which such a sweet lovesick yearning idea that adrien has 100% thought about ladybug before. i rest my case

powerless

powerless is a ladynoir song. in the first verse we get:

"you know i'd make the time i'm just waiting on your green light yeah, i'll be at your porch by this time tomorrow 'cause i'm almost not fine, but i'd never let you know"

which is like. adrien is SO down to be anything ladybug needs - he has almost no time at all what with his father's schedule, but he will always make time for ladybug. he's literally just waiting for her to call, and he'll be there. but in terms of actually letting her know how important she is to him in his life, as both a friend and as someone he loves romantically, he can never tell her because he doesn't really want to worry her.

in the chorus we get:

"you're the only one that makes me powerless tonight all i am is losing track of time tell me why oh, oh you never really missed me back"

which leads us into the bridge:

"i want you to need me like i need you i need you to see me when I'm see-through it's sad but it's true: no one's waiting for you but i was thinking we could get away sometime yeah, let's call it a date and you can devastate my personal space i never liked it anyway"

and that tells us how strong his feelings are for her; they're so powerful that he's effectively powerless against her. but he feels as though he's the only one that feels that way - she never seems to miss him back. but he wants her to want him in the same way he wants her - he wants her to be able to see him, in all his details, and still like him. and he wants her to go on a date with him and actually get close to him - get up his personal space because with her, he doesn't actually want personal space.

i'll always be around

i'll always be around is guess what!!! another ladynoir song!!! the chorus gives us:

"you know i'll always be around i'd never never never leave you hanging out to dry because the world's gonna pass me by but if you wanted, i'd never never never leave your leave your side i'd never never never leave you out to dry i'd never never never get you off my mind"

which is so!!! relates to the previously mentioned ideas of adrien being willing to drop everything to do what ladybug asked. he's devoted and loyal to her - he always wants to be someone that she can rely on as both a friend and a partner, and, potentially, as a lover.

we also get the line:

"you stopped me in my tracks you caught me in a gaze"

which relates to the moment he fell in love with her when she stood up to hawkmoth in front of all of paris: in that single moment she'd caught him up into having feelings for her, even if she didn't know it.

and in the bridge we get:

"if there ever came a dark day (if there ever came a dark day) that crushed us out and took you away i'd chase you to the end i'd chase you to the end of the world"

which is so. so ladynoir. their relationship and friendship is constantly haunted by the threat of hawkmoth, and so this consideration of the terrible "what ifs" and the insistence that no matter what, he'd find a way to get back to her is like. yeah that's ladynoir.

6. entertainment

entertainment is the second album, and it continues leaning into the pop-alternative sound while still somehow sticking to the punk sound. the main themes of this album are: loving someone, loving someone who hurts you and isn't good for you, and feeling trapped in your circumstances

4/10 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

11:11

this song is so!!!! adrien loving marinette core!!!!!! i actually wrote a fic that had one of the lyrics of this song as a title (my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room)

the pre-chorus actually gives us this line here:

"my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room and my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you evil comes in pairs and we like what we do you've got me feeling like a walking love song"

which just makes me think of the way adrien will be after the identity reveal happens. he already wants marinette to be ladybug (based off the sheer amount of times he's referred to her as 'the everyday ladybug' + every time he's gotten so close to discovering ladybug's identity and his brain has always gone, without fail, to marinette), and so when he realizes that she is ladybug, she'll quickly become the person he most wants to be around and the person he feels most comfortable around. because of how dismal his home life is, he'll probably spend a lot of time at her house, and he'll come to associate the stairs of her room with walking into love and comfort. he'll be absolutely smitten with her.

in the chorus, we get:

"i must've caught you from 11:11 the lucky number seven i try to hide with my words but you just find me clever i found a million places you'd be worth the chases to go-oh-oh"

which again just inscribes how strongly he would feel for marinette - and it's also kind of a pun because of how "lucky" he would be to have her. like. get it. lucky charm. anyway, his "hiding with his words" would refer to the way he disguises his feelings with humor, but she would be able to see past that - they would know each other so well. and, just like how i've said adrien is with ladybug, he would totally be willing to go anywhere and everywhere for marinette. this song is post-reveal adrinettecore.

lucky people

guess what fellas we have another song about adrien loving ladybug/marinette. after looking closely, it seems like we might have a post-reveal relationship sort of vibe here, but it doesn't really matter because bare bones? this song is about adrien loving ladybug who is also marinette.

we start with the verse:

"light us up until we pop i wanna burn bright 'til we're not let's keep each other safe from the world i'll be your optimistic black hole full of love i can't control let's keep each other safe from the world from the world"

which falls into the previously-discussed themes of adrien wanting to be around ladybug as much as he possibly can before they defeat hawkmoth and inevitable Something Different happens, and he also wants the both of them to stick together. the "i'll be your optimistic black hole / full of love i can't control" also relates to previously-discussed adrien themes where we know adrien is actually someone who is prone to negative thoughts, but he comes off as someone who is really optimistic, and also that he loves ladybug something fierce - it's a love that he knows has already scared her, but it's also a love that he feel like he can't help but feel.

in the chorus, we get:

"i know you said to mind my business but cupid sent me on a mission that's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call"

which plays into adrien's romantic nature conflicting with ladybug wanting to keep their feelings out of superhero work. regardless, because of his romantic nature, he will always be sitting and waiting for her to call him so that they can be together, even if it's just to fight akumas.

we also have the line:

"you've got me more than clumsy but you're my yellow, lovely"

which (SEASON 4 SPOILERS) after mr. pigeon 72 is like. adrien literally was so busy looking at marinette that he bumped his head against a car door. but he won't even mind!! because marinette/ladybug is a spot of brightness in his world that he absolutely adores.

rare

i am once again telling you that this song is about adrien loving ladybug. hear me out. i'm right. in the chorus we get:

"i just hope it's nicer where you are 'cause i only want to lift you up i guess i never really said enough for you to hear me where you are 'cause i only want to lift you up i guess i never really said enough so let me tell you now"

this is adrien hoping that, wherever and whoever ladybug is, she's living happily - at least more happily than him. he only wants to lift her up and support her, not only because he loves her, but also because he values her as a friend. but he feels like she doesn't know how much she truly cares about him - he feels like she brushes off when he tells her he loves her, so he wants to say it loud enough for her to truly understand.

and in the other half of the chorus, we get:

"my tired thoughts don't take vacations, oh no you float up in conversations, oh no you're my final destination, i know you're probably fine there just know i think you're rare"

which is where he tells her how he truly feels; he's always thinking about her, and when she comes up in conversation (which she does, she's ladybug after all), he feels some stress because he has all these feelings for her that his civilian self isn't supposed to have. and yet he feels like she's it for him - he loves her so much and can't imagine loving anyone else. she's his "final destination." and he thinks that she is so good and powerful and beautiful that she's rare in comparison to the rest of the world - which tells her how happy he is to have found her. (and, thinking about this line as if he's speaking to ladybug, it's funny for him to say that he thinks she's rare but refer to marinette as "the everyday ladybug." which really just tells you how highly he thinks of marinette)

sleep alone

we're rounding out this album with, you guessed it, another song about adrien loving ladybug. like. "i feel dead and a half but you're making me laugh" ?? which relates to adrien being overworked by his father but meeting ladybug in his spare time and managing to feel truly light hearted around her??

in the chorus we get:

"my face feels hot and blue my hands still count on you to let me down articulate and lonely enough for the two of us but if you want, if you want, if you want to you can call me on my phone, i'll run to you you won't ever have to sleep alone you can call me on my phone, i'll come to you you won't ever have to sleep, sleep, sleep alone"

which hints at how adrien knows that ladybug will continue to turn him down, but he can't deny his feelings for her ("my hands still count on you to let me down"). and he's lonely - isolated by his father - which he feels like he has enough to loneliness to cover the both of them, which is why he proposes that they stay together; he'll take on her loneliness, too. and, just like in all the adrien-loves-ladybug songs, we see that he is only a single call away from doing anything ladybug asks him too.

we also get the line "but if you want it you can have it, you can have me in full" which tells us that he respects her wishes to keep their identities a secret, and he understands that she doesn't have romantic feelings for him, but if she ever changed her mind - about either thing - all she would have to do is ask, and she would have him, entirely.

7. fandom

fandom is the third album, and it leans into not only pop-alternative sounds, but also rap and almost r&b alternative sounds. the main themes of this album are: wanting to be able to express yourself in the way you want, feeling separated from someone you love, and getting out of a bad relationship

7/15 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

cherry red

starting off strong with the album's opener (which also starts with the ending music of the last song on the album which is- okay. this album's art. continuing on) which is - i'm thinking you're sensing the pattern - at least partly about adrien loving ladybug. cherry red is super short, and the only line that really applies is:

"cherry red you know i'd die for you"

which. cherry red refers to ladybug because of, you know, cherry red suit, etc. and the "you know i'd die for you" is. well. adrien has made it very clear that he will go out of his way during akuma fights to protect ladybug. it's not exactly dying, but it's close enough.

dream boy

dream boy is!!!!!!!! dream boy is THE adrien song!!!!! dream boy was the song that made me mold au adrien's band after waterparks, dream boy is the song that semi-inspired this post, dream boy is the reason i project adrien onto so much of waterparks' discography.

dream boy sounds a lot like a love song. but dream boy is, at it's core, a commentary on the way that media and fanbases treat conventionally attractive boys in the spotlight, and it's a commentary in the form of a bright, bubbly pop song. it's brilliant. it's adrien

the chorus, which is also the intro gives us:

"am i the boy you dreamed of? oh living in your subconscious, oh do you believe in love? oh and is it because of me?"

which is like. from the very start of this song, we get the idea that adrien (since we're supplementing the speaker as adrien, you get it) exists only as a the dream of a boy his fans have of the perfect boy. they believe in love because they love him, but they don't love the real him, they love the 'adrien' that they've constructed in their minds

in the verse, we get:

"build your expectations saturated and inflated 'cause i was born to be your favorite make me complicated i'm modern and i'm dated because i was born to be your favorite"

which builds on the manufactured feeling of adrien agreste. his public persona as a model was built by gabriel to make money - he was literally constructed as a teenage heartthrob "born to be your favorite" so that his father could profit.

and in the pre-chorus, we get:

"build-a-boy, pick my pieces overjoyed‚ never leave your heart destroyed, i'm your boy custom-made your beloved getaway i'm your favorite holiday you'll never be alone with me"

which is like. adrien is constantly rebuilding himself to fit the ideals other people want from him, and other people are constantly rebuilding him in their minds to fit the ideals they have for him. he isn't his own person - he's always belonged to other people, custom-made, depending on their preferences, to be the most likable he could possibly be.

high definition

high definition falls into the category of "songs about adrien loving ladybug while trying to be in a relationship with kagami." in my mind, i hear adrien in this song talking to two separate 'you's - both kagami and ladybug.

when the song starts, giving us the chorus we get:

"i'd love to be in love with you enough to write a love song, mmh i need to feel needed and i need it more than i let on"

which is adrien speaking to kagami. he wants to love her because he knows she deserves it and she's an amazing girl, but he can't. but he still needs that affection she gives him because he's lacking it in other parts of his life.

in the second half of the chorus, we get:

"i'll be home just thinking about it, maybe call like i used to but i'll just stay alone because alone is safer than with you"

which, in my head, is where he transitions to talking to ladybug. he still thinks about her and he wants to be with her, but he recognizes that those wants aren't responsible while in a relationship with someone else.

in a verse, we get:

"i know i'm not around enough to make me worth the wait it's like who wants to be close with someone who always goes away? and even when they're here it's like where's your fucking head at? why's it take so long to text back? you're so bad at loving people back"

which is where we see his relationship with kagami devolve. (SEASON 4 SPOILERS) i mean, this is almost literally why kagami breaks up with him; he's always running off for seemingly no reason, and even when he was around, he was emotionally distant because of his feelings for ladybug.

telephone

telephone is a HUGE ladynoir song. this is a song about how much chat wants to be able to get to know ladybug, which gives us lines like:

"i'd like to know your middle name let's talk about your parents and your future dreams i'm interested but distant to a fault and i'd never want to complicate your heart"

which is just like!! he wants to know all the little information about her like her middle name and her parents, but he also wants to talk about her and her dreams. he wants to know her, outside of the mask, but he knows that's not something she wants, so he tries to keep these wants tamped down.

the second verse gives us:

"i talk a lot, but we could fill your frames with pictures of our faces 'til we share a name i'm living on a target and you shot it with an arrow now i lost my self-control, i can't stop thinking and i'm thinking that i lost it all these aisles feel like miles where you go, i'll follow"

which, again, expresses his desire to be with her in her civilian life, even fantasies about marrying her. he is so stupidly in love with her - and, as i've talked about before, he is absolutely devoted to her. wherever she goes, he'll follow.

never bloom again

never bloom again is a little too sad for my to comfortably label it a ladynoir song but this line:

"now all the girls in los angeles look like you from a distance i tried to give you space until i stepped away from your brain and now i just miss it"

is very adrien-loving-ladybug-esque. replace 'los angeles' with 'paris' and you get adrien trying to find ladybug's features in every girl he meets while still trying to give ladybug space on their secret identities.

[reboot]

[reboot] isn't a really an adrien song, but it does reference dream boy, which is worth mentioning. in the chorus, we get the line:

"i never promised you your dream boy i'm better as your chew toy"

which could be like adrien's actual thoughts on his placement as paris' and his father's manufactured dream boy persona. he's not actually everyone's dream boy, he's just a toy for them to use a destroy.

zone out

zone out is a huge adrien song because it is literally just dream boy. zone out acts as a break before the last song in the album, and it is the lyrics to dream boy set to a softer, more lullaby-esque tempo and instrumental sound. it's a lot sadder than the normal dream boy, and you can really feel the fact here that dream boy is not a love song.

with zone out, we have adrien's actual quiet, sad feelings about dream boy. he wants to fill the dream boy role for his father, but he can't, really, because he can never live up to that level of perfection. he will always fall short.

8. greatest hits

and with that we have reached the most recent waterparks album. this album plays with experimental genre sounds even more so than the previous two, but is still unmistakably the "waterparks" sound. the themes of this album are: strange dreams and nightmares, struggling with being in the spotlight, and wanting to feel loved

7/17 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

lowkey as hell

lowkey as hell isn't overtly an adrien song but the chorus plays on the common themes we've seen before:

"if you need me now i'll be there somehow i'll pick you up, we can ride i'll fly away like i bought my own airline i'll take you with me, we can ride"

which is basically that adrien will always be around to do anything ladybug needs - if she ever has the need to call to him, he'll always find a way to be there for her.

violet!

i won't go too in depth about it, but violet! is about a stalker and their victim, who is the speaker, and you cannot tell me adrien does not have any stalkers at all with the way the show portrays his fame. he's probably had to deal with his fair share of crazy fans, so i thought i'd mention violet! here.

snow globe

also not an overtly adrien song, but we get these lines in one of the verses:

"’cause all i hear is 'i love you so much' but it starts to mean nothing when my heart is shut from you my heart is shut from you my little tiny world is in your hands so shake it like a snow globe fuck my plans"

which talks about how the love adrien experiences as a famous model isn't the kind of love he wants - he wants feel loved by his father. but gabriel just uses him for the company - he holds adrien's tiny world in his hands, and uses that grasp to shake up adrien's world and disrupt the relationships adrien has with the outside world.

the secret life of me

this song is about fantasizing about running away to a new life, or to a secret life away from responsibilities, so like. adrien about how he's chat noir.

in the chorus, we get:

"sunbathe looking like a sunday wishing for a someday i could run away like that now i think i need a life or maybe 9 'cause i feel like i’m running out of time, yea

which plays on the ideas of running away. it's really fitting, i think, because of the reference to wanting 9 lives, which is definitely a pun adrien would make as chat noir

american graffiti

this is another song about struggling with being in the spotlight, which relates to adrien. in the chorus, we get:

"yeah, you've been reading all about me and you're loving what you found i'm like american graffiti you want some glitter, drink it down yeah, you've been seeing all about me taking notes, yeah, write it down i'm like american graffiti if you need me, i'm here now if you need me, i'm here now"

which relates to the themes brought up during dream boy: we have this circumstance of people finding adrien, learning all there is to possibly know about him, and deciding that they love this version of him they see in the media. the "if you need me, i'm here now" also refers to the dream boy theme because of how this version of adrien that exists in most people's heads will always be there to comfort them and "love" them in a parasocial relationship.

fruit roll ups

fruit roll ups is yet another adrien-loving-ladybug song in which he talks about wanting to invite her over so they can watch movies together and also how much he feels for her.

in the first verse, we get the lines:

"when you talk it's in cursive to me and it's nicer than anything i'd believe about me it's like that shit was written in gel pen and i love those"

which is not. super important but it's cute! also the line "and it's nicer than anything i'd believe about me" also might refer to the way ladybug reassures him of his placement as a hero and a friend in her life, which are things he continually finds hard to believe. so it's also sad!

crying over it all

speaking of sad this last song is another adrien-loving-ladybug song and it is. sad.

the pre-chorus is:

"so practice your passion on me give me your 100 degrees i'll die off whenever you need an afternoon just to breathe soon everyone will be gone they'll forget my albums, i hope you'll be here when it's done and i'm crying over it all, yeah"

first of all. i go insane every time i hear the line "so practice your passion on me." now that we've gotten that out of the way let's continue on. we have the line "I'll die off whenever you need" which refers to chat's tendency to sacrifice himself for ladybug during akuma fights, and these lines also express that familiar desire he has of wanting ladybug to stay beside him after the events of whatever will happen next actually happen.

and in the chorus, we have:

"and all i think about is where you might be and when i'm swallowed down i'd say it's for you, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, oh i'd say it's for you, yeah, yeah, yeah"

which refers to how adrien wonders about ladybug when they're apart - he wants to know about her and how she spends her free time, but he can't know these things, not yet. and the line "and when i'm swallowed down / i'd say it's for you" would refer metaphorically (maybe sometimes literally) to the things he does during akuma fights for her to make sure they succeed.

and in another verse, we get:

"cherry red's your touch a touch i'm failing to feel, or feel enough to love you safely “who?”, “what?”, “when?”, and “why?” all drive me crazy please make me sane for you"

again using the phrase "cherry red" to refer to ladybug, her touch something that adrien can't feel enough of because their relationship is strictly platonic, but he wants more. he wants to know the 'who, what, when, where, and why's of her life, but he can't, and it drives him a little crazy. in contrast to being "stupid for her" back in double dare, he wants to be "made sane for her" so that he can have some feeling of peace in their relationship after getting rejected.

9. conclusion

the biggest conclusion we have here is that im insane. the second biggest conclusion we have here is that i have the amazing ability to project adrien onto a very large portion of waterparks' discography, and i'm right in doing so. an equally important takeaway is that adrien needs a hug and also that he loves ladybug. thank you for your time

[illneverrecover]

Jackie, I hope you are doing well!💖I hope its ok to send this kind of ask, I get a good big sister vibe from u and as a writer myself I just need some advice. How do u deal with not getting a lot of notes or comments on your stuff? Like I feel like I work so hard and it takes me days to write something but then I post and it barely gets 10 likes. I have friends who hype me and I appreciate them but it still stings, u know? Just wondering if you've dealt with this and if so how do you let it go?

Hi bb! First of all, I'm glad I give off big sister vibes! I'm always here to help and encourage other writers and creators, so never feel shy about sending me anything (and I mean anything - feel free to send random memes, Tae pictures that made you yell, whatever. I'm always down to chat!) Second of all, I have dealt with this before, and let me be the first to say that I know it sucks.

I would say this is probably most writers' experience, especially on Dumblr. Despite the fact that this site is super popular for fandoms, it's not very cooperative for creators to use it. The system as it's set up means that in order for things to be seen widespread, they need to be reblogged and/or tagged to reach a higher audience. Unfortunately, most people don't take the time to do that. It's painfully easy to just throw a like onto a post and keep on keeping on, and the tagging system is constantly not working like it should, things not showing up, etc.

I know it's frustrating. It sucks to work so hard on something and put your time and energy into it and feel like no one is interested. We write, make graphics, edit gifs, etc as a way to creatively express ourselves, and then we share it with the world in hopes it brings someone else a little piece of joy. Let me be the first to tell you that it's very brave of you to share your creativity with anyone, and I think it'll probably always sting a bit when it feels like it's not getting the welcome that you had hoped for.

The things that helped me with this may not help you, but just in case it does I'm happy to share!

1. I write for myself - me, myself, and I. Do I like what I wrote? Does it feel like a genuine piece that I want to share? Does it represent me and my storytelling in an authentic way? Then I'm happy! Bottom line, I'm the main reason I do any of this, so as long as I'm enjoying myself I'll keep doing it. 2. I also write for my friends. As long as my friends loved or enjoyed what I created, then I'm content. Like your friends, mine are always here to hype me up and give me love and encouragement, and it really means the world to me. They also have good taste so I know if they tell me they like something - they're being genuine. Writing something that makes them blush or flusters them or has them yelling my DMs always makes me feel accomplished, even if no one else leaves a comment. 3. Cross-posting to other platforms sometimes brings traction to a story that hasn't gotten a lot of notes on Tumblr. I cross post some of my stuff to AO3 (not everything, mostly because I'm lazy) - but there are other authors here who also cross-post to other sites like Wattpad. This may be something to consider as there are a lot of people who love fanfic who don't know or use Tumblr. 4. Joining writing networks. There are TONS of them out there, and they all function differently and can offer different things for a writer. I mostly join them so I can participate in projects (having deadlines really helps me focus and actually get shit done, lol) and to meet other writers and have some people to go to for writing advice, tips, beta reading, etc - but there are some with very large platforms that will boost your work and could help get your writing seen. 5. Try not to take it personally. I know it's hard and it makes you feel very vulnerable, but there could be a multitude of reasons something doesn't get a lot of notes. It's not a secret to see that certain genres, AUs, pairings, members, etc get more notes than others - and this has been the case for me as well. My smut fics almost always do well, whereas my other stories that don't have smut tend to get less notes. Some people look for very specific things when they want to read something, but it shouldn't dictate what we write. If the story you want to tell is important to you, then it should still be shared. 6. Ask for feedback with trusted friends/mentors. I know there is always room to improve and grow, and I personally want to know if there is an area in my writing where I am falling short or that I could do better with. I reach out to people that I know who have my best interest in mind and I trust them to give me accurate feedback. This may or may not make a difference in how well a fic does, but I think this step is important, especially so that #1 above stays true. I'm no expert by any means, but that basically sums up how I approach my writing in general when it comes to things like this. Please don't let any lack of interaction or notes diminish your passion and desire to write and share stories. At the end of the day, we all need more creativity and storytelling in the world, and just because your fic doesn't get 3k notes overnight doesn't mean it isn't worth sharing. Your words matter. No one has ever written a fic in the exact way you would, and your vision and interpretation is just as important as anyone else.

[everyday-is-brighter-with-you]

**SAYING SOME SAPPY SH*T **

[ID: Art done traditionally then colored digitally. Its a birthday gift for Dr. Habit from Smile For Me given by my sona Rose.

 He is green skinned with black hair,acne, stubble, thin thorny wooded arms and neck, hands are leaves. Wears dark brown shirt with big rose leaf overcoat adorned with thorn shaped spikes. Wears red glasses twisted at the nose. In the artists interpretation in this picture Habit has a mouth scar and hand scars, freckles, goatee and sideburns, broken nose. His hair is sunset colored and eyes half red and orange. Coat is black with blue highlights, sunflower tied with leaves around hat, more vivid pink coat fluff with variously colored real flowers(in the drawing) resting in it, wears pink nailpolish and flower shape gold earrings.

Rose comes in from the top, halfbody, covering his face with his hair and looking away, flustered and smiling. Eyes are pink toned. His hand has been drawn around a real photo of a small artificial yellow rose flower. He is giving it to Habit, who looks at it with a ‘O’ face and seems surprised.

Rose is singing the lyrics of Idhu Enna(linked here) in a big pink smudgy painted chatbox with hearts coming off it that takes up most of page. Text is mostly dark blue with a light blue outline. It reads as follows with little drawings on it,

‘‘ (From this point handwriting is shaky)

 இது என்ன..?( question mark with heart) கண்ணில் தாவுது ஒரு மான் இங்கு( two red eyes drawn) இதமொன்று நெஞ்சில் பாயுது அது ஏன் இங்கு( a realistic heart with veins drawn) சொட்டு சொட்டாய்( water droplets drawn flying to side, aligned with one of the red eyes) என் மனதே சுண்டுகிறாள்ஏக்கங்கள் நான் கொள்ண்( Many colorful swirls with sheet music and note symbols drawn down of text, with blurry white spots on them.ண் is bolded for pronoun change.)

(From this point handwriting is straight and bold. Each word is underlined with red and yellow)

தாக்கங்கள் 

தான்

 இன்று 

சந்திக்கிறேன்!!! ‘‘

Habit replies, in a  blue chatbox with red pixel text, ‘’Oh...idk what your singing but, Thank You?? <:-D (smiley face)’’

In a thick black on white thought bubble, Rose thinks in allcaps, ‘’(MENTAL KEYSMASH) SIR PLEASE LEARN TAMIL’’

Around the drawing is the real photo of the brown floor. Some parts are edited gray to the bottom. In these are drawn simple style red,teal,yellow,orange flowers outlines and in yellow text, allcaps, ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY!’

Overall tone of the drawing is vivid colors, smooth, slightly blurry and bright, red-blue glitch and noise effect. end ID]

--

OUHMMH OMG HE DOESNT KNOW ONE WORD IM SAYING,,,,

IM IN LOVEEENVFNJEVN😍😍😍😍 \LH

Finally something self indulgent. get it everyone nvefbbenboneo

YELLOW ROSE is for FRIENDSHIP....bro...what if...we were.....friendshc..?😳👉🏼👈🏼

The way i colored\drew Habit here I just kind of mashed up a bunch of different version Ive done this year! Plus some stuff from my friend

ALSO THE WAY I RIPPED OUT THE FAKE EE LITTLE ROSES FROM THE CHOCOLATE BOX SO SO FAST I TELL YOU KVEKKV

ANYWAY UHH A GOOD 39 YEARS TO HIM

----

Want the transl?:-3c

What is this..?

Something twitching in my eye

Why my heart is twisting?

Drop by drop...

He caresses my mind..!

...(skip)

Today I will meet my problems!!!

Haha it sounds better in the original ofc. I still need to get a full transl of this song somewhere but if a tam song ever vibed with SFM for me this would be IT.

---

Dont tag it as ship\oc x canon PLS. When I say friends I mean it plus im a teenager LOL

--

if u reblog with tags IT WILL MAKE MY DAY

[cadomoisspokenfor]

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 4:

Frizzytop

I theorized in episode 2 that David could see through the 4th wall, or at least into a different universe. At the start of this episode Oliver outright breaks the 4th wall. Perhaps powerful reality benders just have that capability. If David knows, and Oliver knows, then Farouk definitely knows.

“A great philosopher once wrote, ‘In times of peace, the war like man attacks himself.’ This is the route of all our problems.”

“We are the route of all our problems. Our confusion, our anger, our fear of things we don’t understand.”

If we carry those 2 quotes throughout the rest of the show, then no doubt the tragedies that happen later on are caused by a collective misunderstanding of each other. And a collective lashing out at that misunderstanding of each other.

“Violence, in other words, is ignorance.”

The most central theme of the show is empathy vs fear. I s’pose whenever there’s a conflict in the show we’re supposed to be asking whether the characters should answer with empathy or fear. Certain characters lives have revolved heavily around fear. And that informs their decision making quite a bit. This will all come up again at multiple points throughout the show.

Syd... probably can’t break the 4th wall. So maybe it’s most logical to interpret this as her inner monologue. Very Jessica Jones esque.

The same voice lines from when Syd was searching for David in episode 1 are played. I guess there go to whenever Davids lost (whether in the world or in his mind) is to transmit Syds voice calling his name in hopes he’ll hear it and come back.

Kerry can pick locks.

The concept of “bad mutants” is well established amongst the veteran summerland crew. Ptonomy’s caution about David is probably because he feels he has a selfish vibe, and that’s a well known red flag of “bad mutants.”

It should also be noted he’s partly afraid of him because he has so much trouble understanding him. His powers, which when used affectively are essentially the ability to understand where someone’s coming from, keep getting overrided by Davids.

It’s now to the point where Ptonomy is doubting his own ability to tell what’s real and what’s not real. He was pretty confident he’d always know somehow in episode 2. Now, not so much.

Ptonomy very early on is open to the idea that David both has powers and psychological issues. “He’s unstable. You try hearing voices for 10-15 years, self medicate with hard drugs and then get dumped in a looney bin.”

Ptonomy also determines that because of his instability combined with the fact he has powers, David is a bomb waiting to go off.

I suppose if we’re trying to figure out their logic with the whole “the combination of being mentally ill and having powers makes him dangerous”, and considering that their right now going over an incident where David robbed his therapist for drug money and then bashed the doctors head in when he came back, the direct concern is that David makes bad decisions and/or selfish decisions (at least), and if he were to make a bad decision regarding his powers a lot of innocent people could get very badly hurt. Or killed. Along with the worry that the voices in his head don’t exactly give him the most angelic of advice at times, and because of his powers he’s very capable of fulfilling their wills, so to speak.

Based on Olivers speech at the beginning of the episode though, it might be safe to say the overall message is instead of acting on fear they should act on empathy and help David overcome his problems instead of vilifying him for his mental illness.

Syd suggest Davids hiding his real memories behind a fake ones and Ptonomy says she going through a lot of effort just to convince herself Davids a good guy. I never really got what he meant, but I guess what he meant is that Syd’s trying to find a justifiable reason for why David would attack Dr Poole like he did when the obvious answer is just “He’s got violent tendencies.” I always just thought she was genuinely hypothesizing, ya know, trying to solve the case. Maybe she was and Ptonomy’s just mean.

“I was looking for the man I loved. Or did I just love the idea of him? The face he showed me?” Doubt springs up early. Why can none of the characters reconcile that a person can have both good and evil in them at the same time? That’s... all people, in fact.

When Kissinger ask if Amy knew David had powers Amy says, “I think so.” Amy potentially acted on fear as well, in regards to her and Davids childhood that is.

Kerry mostly only thinks of herself in relation to Cary.

Cary misses Kerry when she’s gone. Even besides the roles they fill for each other, they generally enjoy each others company. They’re quite literally as close as 2 people can be. Each one living for the sake of the other.

Davids once again surrounded by a crowd of people all yelling in his face. After they disappear though he recovers pretty fast. I guess he’s used to it.

Clockworks Podcast pointed out that the music Davids wincing at is sax heavy Jazz, which is (abstractly) the sound The Devil With Yellow Eyes makes whenever he appears. If my theory about David seeing through the 4th wall is correct, then maybe he’s actually hearing that sound whenever TDWYE is around. Alternatively, Farouk blast that in his head everytime to mess with him.

“Sorry... I forgot about your um... I had a similar- proclivity? Malady? I forget the word- what’s the word? I’ve been here a long time.”

If the previous paragraphs are right, Oliver’s probably implying he was also affected by a mental parasite at some point. It might’ve even been what stranded him in the astral plane.

From Davids perspective he skipped over the entire second half of Chapter 3.

Oliver is essentially explaining the plot of the show to David and the audience before it’s even been unfurled.

“You have an unquiet mind, so you war with yourself, like a dog trying to chew off its own tail.”

David’s still in a very pessimistic guilt ridden place at this point in the story. That’s probably the internal war Oliver’s talking about.

... why can’t Oliver leave the astral plane again? If he did have his own mental parasite, it seems long gone by now. If he just can’t find his way back, then how does he do it in Chapter 7?

Syd calls non-mutants “normals.”

“We were the ghost in a haunted house.” ~Syd, Chapter 4

“You think ghost like living in a haunted house?” ~Syd, Chapter 12

Why does Syd keep hallucinating The Angriest Boy? Or is that just visual metaphor?

Ptonomy’s a very, “Get the job done and look classy while doing it” sorta guy.

“To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.” ~Sun Tzu, Ptonomy

Is the above quote perhaps relevant to the shows message during other conflicts throughout the series? Could it be subtly implying all the characters should always look for non-violent ways to defeat their enemies? I.e. not just a classy line from Ptonomy, but a statement of themes within the show.

The food David, Philly, and Dr Poole are having in Philly’s memories is cherry pie.

In Philly’s memory David says, “I don’t keep a lot of stuff.” And Philly comments that there’s no evidence David had a past. At least among the things David owns at that point. I know Farouk edited a lot of Davids memories, but why did David himself get rid of so much physical stuff? Syd said the reason he broke into Dr Pooles that day was to destroy their taped conversations. What’s compelling him to erase himself from existence? Is it as simple as “Farouk”? It seems like on a deeper level David doesn’t want anyone to know too much about him. Everyone’s only allowed to know what he tells them. His way of feeling in control I guess.

Philly did the classic “I can fix him” when she started dating David.

Philly implies David going off his medication and keeping bad company is what caused the downfall of their relationship. And subsequently his life, probably.

Despite everything, Philly still feels sympathetic towards David.

“Whoever altered Davids memory-“ Ptonomy very early on humors the idea that Davids being acted on by a 3rd party.

The longer Kerry is away from Cary, the more antsy she is for a fight. She’s not supposed to have to sit through all this “boring stuff.”

Ptonomy left after he got the info on Pooles location from Philly. He probably wanted to get the rest of the information from the source. Ironically, they probably woulda gotten closer to the real answer if he’d just looked a bit longer.

Sys proudly says “Yes” when “Dr Poole” ask if she’s in love with David.

It never really comes up again, but Kerry and Cary are physically linked. Maybe even psychologically. When one of them gets hurt, or even exerts their body a lot, the other can feel it, even if their own body doesn’t take on the actual damage. This is still true even if they’re miles apart.

Syds definitely portrayed as the hero at the end of this scene.

“All those years of practice-“ A part of David always knew he had powers. I wonder, did he practice a little in secret? Or is he saying he was at Summerland for years? That doesn’t really add up. But then... what does he mean by years?

Lenny encourages David to get angry so that his powers will strengthen enough for them to overpower the astral plane. Sort of... cheating his way out. David will later achieve more feats of strength through honing his emotions. Like many heroes, his level of power is intrinsically linked to his emotional state.

Very directly here, Davids violence is caused by ignorance. He doesn’t know Syd switched bodies with Walter and is trying to escape.

[goose-books]

(original image credit to @/theyshane on unsplash)

a month or so ago the wonderful and very sharp-fanged @yvesdot said i should make a post about the process of Working On A Podcast - what, exactly, does that entail? and so today i set down upon your table a long post about the process of this podcast, its unique struggles, and What Comes Next!

for those of you who are new here: a modern tragedy is my podcast-in-progress, a loose retelling of three of shakespeare’s plays (romeo&juliet, hamlet, and macbeth) set in a modern-day high school. or, alternatively, “so so much drama localized inside a few overlapping friend groups of gay* people”

post under the cut!

tag list (ask me to be added/removed): @piyawrites @harehearts @bisexualorlando @guulabjamuns

*well. gay people and indrajit “macbitch” chopra. never let it be said i don’t have cishet rep 😤

what i mean when i say “podcast”

sometimes when i say, “i’m writing a podcast,” people get the wrong idea - they think i’m going to sit down, maybe with some friends as guest stars, and talk into a microphone for an hour. what i really mean is that i’m writing a fiction podcast - something like an audio drama, if you will.

i’ve had this story concept for a long time (since i realized i was gay, actually. sometime around my coming out i was like “...sapphic romeo and juliet. oh i’m a genius”), but it never really worked as a novel. my inspiration for making it a podcast was the penumbra podcast! which i am not caught up on but which dragged me shirt-collar-first into the world of podcasts. [blowing a kiss to mars] for juno steel.

i will admit that i actually... haven’t listened to a ton of podcasts. mostly because my incredibly helpful attention-deficit brain said listening to things is impossible forever. but let me tell you that starting to write AMT in script format worked immediately. and in hindsight? it makes sense. i mean, i am retelling some of the most famous plays of all time... why not get a little theatrical with it?

the process so far

the podcast is drafted! all 16 episodes of it. all... 176k words of it... only took me a year and a half...

i have my main cast together! AMT has a lot of side characters, not all of whom are cast yet, but my main recurring squad is gathered and i love them all VERY dearly. (also, the population of people i know irl is 75% theater kid. so i think i will be able to figure out the side character thing.)

within the group of voice actors, i also have three assistant directors, a term i use loosely because mostly i just mean… those are my right hand men. the main folks i bounce ideas off of and the main folks i have helping me organize all of this. i’ve said multiple times that i’m just the keyboard monkey and would be hopelessly out of my depth without my beloved assdirectors. (shoutout to @asimpleram, the only one who uses tumblr, you are my best friend and i love you oh so much)

i also have two “bootydirectors” who gave themselves that name and that’s just the people who know the most about recording technology and acting. thanks kings

right now the scripts have been sent out to some sensitivity readers and i am currently editing! (both with regards to sensitivity reader feedback, and also just editing the plot and character arcs in general.) (if you want me to send you AMT and you’re willing to give me your thoughts i will straight-up send it to you honestly just know it’s LONG)

i actually did not consider that writing this might be uniquely hard before i started

fun max tip: if you look too far ahead down the road and realize the breadth of the project you’re taking on you’ll freak yourself out so just dive into things headfirst without checking both ways or considering your actions!!! [i am giving you a double thumbs up from behind my monitor]

i have never written anything like AMT before! it has been an experience! there have been some unique struggles!

working with other people is harder than i expected! which is not about my group, all of whom are lovely people. it is about me and my little OCD rat brain that hates letting go of control. even though... an inherent part of writing a script... is that at some point other people will be involved... wild, i know.

9 main characters! AMT has 9 main characters. this is somewhat excusable because the whole thing is episodic and more like a season of a tv show than a novel. but still. 9 main characters. why did i do that

i’ve never written episodically before, so i’ve had to figure out how to fit the plot into appropriately spaced intervals. there are three running plotlines (one for each play), and they’re all parallel and eventually convergent. so everything’s happening at once and it’s… hard to make episodes that aren’t just “max threw a bunch of scenes together because they were happening at the same time.” (i will admit i’ve defaulted to chronological order when spacing episodes, so the timeline doesn’t get confusing. but i hope each episode is cohesive on its own.)

balancing the tragedy and comedy in tragicomedy has been… interesting. i do to some degree feel like AMT’s gone darker than i initially imagined it; while it’s a high school retelling of these plays (and thus there’s no. there’s no murder. the only person who dies is isaac’s dad and that’s six years precanon), all three plays deal to differing degrees with suicide, among other things, and it felt… disingenuous not to write about that from a modern high schooler’s perspective.

i can guarantee a long-term happy ending for AMT! i cannot guarantee much about what’s in the middle. (there are sixteen episodes; one of my directors likened episode 7 to a five-act play’s third act, when things really start to… hit the fan. he’s right and i’m obsessed with thinking about it that way)

the massive amount of time i have been working on the thing: i started writing this podcast in january 2019. i finished writing it this past summer (2020). that’s two summers that have passed without my recording it (which is obviously easier to organize in the summer… or it was before covid but you get my point). this is… a little disheartening? i don’t know; oftentimes i underestimate how long writing projects will take me. what it comes down to is my urge to put out content vs. my urge to make it perfect…

…especially since i’m technically competing with one william f. shakespeare. (the f is for fucking.) i mean, dear old billy shakes DID write the plot out for me ahead of time, which i appreciate, but still…

AMT is absolutely consumable if you don’t know the first goddamn thing about shakespeare’s works. that said. i assume some of the people who will listen to it are shakespeare enthusiasts, casual or otherwise, and that’s a little terrifying! AMT is a shakespeare retelling, but i’ve made these characters very much my own, and i suppose i worry about how others will approach that, and whether they will disagree with my interpretations, or the way i’ve adapted the plots, and so on and so forth... i just have to live with this one, honestly. i think i could edit AMT for a thousand years and probably still find something to change about it, so i will simply have to get over myself.

that said, i don’t regret the amount of time i’ve spent on it! i think the time i’ve taken to draft and edit these episodes has been well worth the wait; i’m genuinely very happy with what i’ve created, and whether or not you agree with, say, my interpretation of a modern hamlet family dynamic, i hope it’ll still be enjoyable!

so what’s next?

as i said earlier, the scripts are currently in the hands of sensitivity readers, and i’m editing!

over the summer, the cast met on zoom frequently to read through and rehearse scenes. and i will not lie it was the most fucking fun i’ve had this entire wretched interminable year. i am constantly charmed and befuddled by the feeling of Listening To My Words Read Out Loud By A Human Voice and also i love my friends so very much

we have a tentative plan to gather the cast (socially distanced and responsibly, of course) over thanksgiving break to make some actual stabs at recording! i am too afraid to concretely promise AMT Episode 1: Fortune’s Fool by the end of 2020 but like… i’m not NOT promising it! send me your finest vibes. we’re close.

[twisted-leader-of-something]

Background Information - The Cult of Mana/Blot

So, basically these guys are villians in two of my OC's Personal Stories, most notably for Das Mana-Alvah and Quentin Nighy-Sallow, that later bleeds into the main story. And, my god, I didn't realize how much I had in my head about this cult til I actually wrote it down. So, here, have a whole page of information on this cult.

Base credit because my stupid ass deleted my original photos and I honestly had no energy to re-draw it so I used a base: https://www.deviantart.com/dogplss/art/Female-Outfit-Design-Base-F2U-442331266 

https://www.deviantart.com/dogplss/art/Male-Outfit-Design-Base-F2U-442323426

Edit: My stupid ass forgot to put a cut. Sorry guys.

Offical Logo:

Common Symbol Used to Represent the Cult (The Unofficial Symbol): 

Offical Name: The Gathering of the Glourious One (official name by the group), the Faith of Mana (more general name used by outsiders, mandated by the group), Manaism (offical name for scholars) 

Other Names it is Known As: The Cult of Mana, The Cult of Blot, Mana's Sect, Those Creepy Guys in Black Robes, The Dark Religion [as in, it's the religion you shouldn't mess with] (mostly used by the older people), The Worst Religion (according to some people). 

Status: Active

Type: Destructive Apocalyptic 

Structure: Meetings conducted by a member of or mandated by the Blot-XXX family that teach the doctrine of the cult that are mostly in private places. 

Class System: The Blot-XXX family also known as the Speakers of Mana (the leaders of the Cult) - the people mandated by the Blot-XXX family also known as the Apostles of the Speakers (these are often locals mandated by the head family in an area or people really close to the Blot-XXX family) - the Record Keepers of an certain area also known as the Scribes of Mana - the Treasurers and Donatiors of an certain area also known as the Creditors of Mana - The Cult's Police Force also known as Mana's Protectors - and the average person called a Follower of Mana (this is the majority of people who aren't in the leadership roles)

Main Headquarters: Remote parts of the Delightful Harbor 

Founder: Corentin Blot-XXX (Deceased)

Notable Members: The Blot-XXX and the Alvah Family 

History: Scholars don't have an exact time when the Cult was founded as according to several sources it is possible they've been around for as long as magic has been, while others say this cult is a recent development in Twisted Wonderland's history. But most agree that the cult is pretty old. The Cult's official statement is that it came about by a man named Corentin Blot-XXX, who lived about the time magic became popularized and received a divine revelation that Blot or Mana was meant to save Twisted Wonderland from its' doom. [Now, what that means is up to interpretation as Corentin did not ever elaborate on what he meant by 'save Twisted Wonderland' and the Blot-XXX family seems to not care about answering that question either.] so he created a religious organization that was meant to save the people of Twisted Wonderland by doing crazy stuff to your magical abilities without Overblotting. Which, was considered okay by most governments despite the really crazy and dangerous shit they did to themselves like magic rituals to get as much Blot as possible and keep it, using Blot for really stupid and dangerous reasons, and the list goes on. Most governments let the cult be in the open because well, the group wasn't doing anything illegal and they had religious reasons for their crazy shit. As, it was a religion. And religion does really crazy shit in the name of their gods. Eventually though, an undercover anonymous medical team managed to get into the cult and gained a lot of insight into the minds of the leaders of the cult, the damage it was doing to the people in the religion, and the conditions to live in that religion and released to the public the cult's body count of people who had died of their exposure to lots of Mana, people being kept prisoners as the cult's 'scientists and researchers' who were assumed dead, and the terrible living conditions a person had to put up with unless you where an Aposlte or Speaker. And almost hours after the pages and pages of gruesome information was leaked, the governments of Twisted Wonderland banned the Cult for these activities, and would try to arrest any and all members of the leadership of the cult. Which got of good portion of the leadership at the time before they where forced into hiding in order to continue their mission. After the dust settled, the Cult had to competely change their tactic of getting people into the cult, so they made the World Blot Research Society, a more public and scholarly setting that was meant to lure people into the cult but eventually became it's own thing because of so many none members joining in. 

Current State: The Cult currently makes up a decent number of the population of Twisted Wonderland and is mostly found in the Land of Pyroxene or the Delightful Harbor in small, secluded areas that often look like tightly-woven Christian towns that most people say have really creepy vibes coming from them. The Blot-XXX family is located in a high class area of the Delightful Harbor, and are ruling the cult with an iron grip, or the least the Main family does.

Ways to Spot one of the Cult Members: These cult members often wear the eye in their logo somewhere on their body, it can be tattooed or a piece of jewelry, but more often than not it is on their clothes in some shape or form. The people are mostly keep in hidden places, since the group has been banned in most if not all countries for kidnappings and bad living conditions. 

The Eye:

- Cult Outfits/Roles - 

Followers: These are most of the population of the cult, as it is hard to move up in ranks due to competition and because the systems of moving up is very strict and hard to actually pull off. These people can have normal jobs such as being a doctor or a janitor, but the normal jobs are considered lower in their society due to it being an theocracy. But, these people seem pretty cheerful overall despite a range of diseases and strange happenings.

Outfits are not customizable unless you are a beastman, and are cheaply made. Often with cheap cotton.

Protectors: These are basically the police of the society. While this is a normal job most societies need, this is the equivalent of the religious police as well as being the normal police as well. Decently regrended job because of how much control they have over people despite being so low on the hierarchy, and often really mistreated by the upper classes due to how much power the group has.  

The Alvah family is in this category. 

Outfits are customizable depending on species and area and ranking within the police force, which follows military personnel ranks.

Creditors: These are basically the once rich people of the society. While they live the same as the Followers, they wear clothes that stand out as looking similar to those in higher ranks, which they are allowed to do because they donate huge amounts of money to the cult. Other than a change in clothing and attitude, not much is different between this group and the followers.

Outfit can be customized very little, and are often made by the Creditors themselves to imidate the Speakers.

Treasurers: These are the secretaries of the Record Keepers, Apostles and Speakers. It used to be just people who where truly Treasurers, but the role has evolved into just a high rank member's secertaries. These people often have better living conditions than those below due to the higher ranks giving them better conditions in exchange for their hard work.

These are customizable to show who to the person serves as a secertary, and often are really well made compared to the lower classes, and are custom made by this class as well. 

Record Keepers: These are the people who are considered the scribes or record keepers of an area. These people often are also scholars, and highly regarded by society for their knowledge despite more often than not these people heavily depend on the Apostles and Speakers for their knowledge, as they can only get it from those two groups. This is the highest possible rank the average person in the cult can get. Have good living conditions, noticeably better than the Creditors, Protectors, and Followers and somewhat better than the Treasurers. 

Outfits are of really good quality and can be sold on a normal market for scraps. 

Apostles: These are mostly families and people who have been in the Cult for a long time, and are considered the closest thing the society has to the nobleman class. These are the people closest to the Blot-XXX family, or are in the social circle. They have leadership roles in the area they are in, and are well respected for their religious duties, despite this class often looking down upon the lower classes. 

These outfits are often the ones assicated with the cult, as the medical team caught mostly pictures of this group of people. Hugely customizable based on area and rank in the social circle, which depend how close you are to the Blot-XXX family. 

Speakers: These are exclusively for members of the Blot-XXX family. As, the family is considered the closest to Mana, despite the family not really believing in what their ancestor preached. Most members use their positions of authority for getting money or favors from the people free, and some don't do their job at all. Despite the family's lack of care for their duty, the members of the cult are really brainwashed so they will do anything this family says.

These outfit are very customizable. They really vary from individual to individual, but usually that makes it easier to identify the person. 

Other Things to Note: 

- Matriarchal society

- Super Transphobic, which is actually how lots of people leave the cult

- The rankings of the Apostles go by closeness to the Blot-XXX family, and while it is more or less something that the classes, it's still really present and important with the Apostle class. It's an unspoken thing. 

[grifhinx]

Everyman with a story (Fighter collection)

Ok, down to the last one of the first batch of four classes. And the trickiest one by far... there’s gonna be a lot of write-up. 

There’s almost nothing to grasp concept or visuals-wise with the Fighter, at least from a first glance. Are they a more padded Barbarian? A stripped-down Paladin? Perhaps a more nicely armored Ranger? It’s always hard to with identifying Fighters (and sometimes with martial classes in general).

I was a little familiar with the fourth edition of the game, a Voldemort in a lot of tables and groups, specifically for the sole reason that D&D, at some point, wanted to go full MMORPG with the mechanics, especially with the combat (did not think of “computer-based” when I thought “cinematic”, but oh well; that’s what they were driving for). One memory I had tho was its interpretation of humans which had the post-fallen empire storyline for the better part of the edition.

Image by WOTC

There was something interesting about the way they looked and even their followup art guide, “Wizards Presents: Classes and Races” felt like they needed to talk more of it.

“Carpe Diem” became their battle cry. This led me to the reckless, scavenged, and asymmetrical aesthetic first developed in 3rd Edition. Humans don’t care if their boots match their gloves—hell, they don’t care if their boots match each other. Piecemeal suits of armor, military haircuts, and unshaven faces became ubiquitous. Humans don’t have ten years to spend crafting a single sword, or fifty years to hone an art, so they become Jacks-of-All-Trades. I thought that humans, being so young, would be the only race that would use representational art: tattoos, heraldry, crests, standards, and so on. The other races were more sophisticated and had “matured” into abstract art.

-  William O’Connor

I liked this idea a lot in a sense that it somehow allowed me to visualize a kind of spectrum to the visuals of the Fighters and, perhaps, a bunch of other classes in the future, with the Fighter settling somewhere in the middle - moderately armored but fairly capable defense-wise.

First pre-sketch

I tried sketching with this aesthetic reference as a jump-off of point to something modern, but felt like it wasn’t taking the design anywhere. I looked into other design references, again from the “Classes and Races” book.

Image by WOTC

Guy on the far left took my attention. Obviously, he’s more at the newbie level which, I think, gives a kind of relatability. But the fact that he is obviously rocking an almost-awkward mix of leather, plate, and scale for armor is what really drew me in (the other two are a hot mess too, but they’re probably good for future references).

Image by WOTC

Third pre-sketch

At this rate, I was just clearly trying things out at random, still convinced there was something missing. I made a few attempts at going at the class by its archetypes (more on those once we go to each this week), and they seem to have a vibe of their own, which is great, but needed some kind of base design reference to tie them all down. 

I looked up a video from Web DM on how Fighters can roleplay and behave in the world of the game. There was a mention of how this central-like plotline for the Fighter can happen, which revolves around the fact that majority have a fairly humble if not mundane existence that they either willed (or someone else willed) into a life adventuring and action, making the Fighter a kind of everyman that wants to get noticed (and is noticeable at most times).

Second pre-sketch

I’ve gotten used to sketching in this stack of unlined notebooks I picked up from the markets in Divi. My ideal writing material, you see. No lines, just doodles, code, diagrams, rants, quotes, sketches. I flipped thru the stretch of designs I did and somehow came to wondering how, in modern terms, it’s as if the silhouettes, once tight enough, could be like stylized tracksuits of sorts. I’ve seen decided to consider it as the base for everything else to stand on, considering that (if you noticed the Cleric collection), slapping just about on a hoodie is not only possible, but it’s been a thing already of the 2010s.

I should really keep away from mostly dark motifs, personally. I’ll have to make sure.

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This blog is part of the first batch of collections under my Current Ideas project, where I make modern D&D character class fashion design sketches for flexible use in cosplay and casual wear, of which you can see more collections at:

Current ideas (D&D Modern character fashion collections)

Current ideas (D&D Modern character fashion collections) - Recap