#but theyre not normal in the way that theyre fucked up. at least tyler is. jareth is more grey. i dont remember nick to be not good overall

[quietwingsinthesky]

of ten’s companions, if the doctor couldn’t handle losing them and crossed his own timeline to trick them into traveling with future!him instead of past!him so that he’d have a little more time with them:

rose would do it. first because bless her but she has the situational awareness of a rock, and legitimately would not realize this isn’t her doctor until his facade starts to break down and he starts bleeding grief-laced love for her at every turn. but once she does realize it, she’s both deeply sympathetic and a little scared that she could make him into this. it’s a lot to be confronted with having that much power over someone, to break them so thoroughly. rose would try to get back to her doctor, but while she’s with the future version, she tries to do what she can to ease his pain. (she also tries to figure out a way to subvert her fate. she fails.)

i think martha would be harder to trick. she can smell desperation on the doctor like a bloodhound. she is so tapped into the fact that this man wants to off himself so bad and that she’s 90% of his self-restraint, so present her with a doctor who is lacking that and she’s onto him immediately. however, assuming he gets her to come with him, explains why he’s doing this, there’s like. a minute where she’s kind of. not flattered exactly, but surprised, giddy with the realization that he’d come back for a little more time with her, especially if this is early season 3 martha. which would all come crashing down around the time that he reveals that he wasn’t pushed to this by losing her to some tragedy or her death or anything- but that she chose to leave. that is the point at which martha goes ‘oh i need to get the fuck off of this tardis right now’ and ghosts the past!doctor that she was also traveling with because holy shit, man.

donna, like rose, is easily bamboozled into following the wrong doctor home, provided that he shuffles her along into his tardis too fast for her to argue. but she catches on far quicker than rose does. like, three minutes tops of watching the doctor move through the tardis in a way that’s definitely not enthusiastic piloting and looks more like guilty panic. and then she yells at him for lying to her. and she yells at him for kidnapping her. and then she stops yelling because he’s gone sort of still and quiet and his eyes are just broken. and he doesn’t explain himself, he confesses. donna is going to try to stay with him after this btw. because how do you go back to looking your best friend in the eyes when you know he’d take everything you’ve become away from you, even to save your life? and this is still the doctor, he still did that to her, but he regrets it. regrets it so much that he can’t live with it, he’s breaking time and space just to hear her say his name again. and donna doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wanted to lose her.

[redstrewn]

Ok so my fav character from wednesday was tyler galpin so i think i'll probably be able to handle leander just fine now that i think about it

He legit betrays wednesday and plays her and i was still a fan

Bitch literally mauls her friend and kills several people and i was still a fan

Also my fav character from chilling adventures of sabrina was nick scratch and he legit plays sabrina too iirc

Man i do love me them two faced charming bitches huh

Also how could I forget the Jareth the goblin king....mf is no good at all and I thirsted for that fucker so bad

[vriki]

ive been playing pokemon sw/sh nonstop for the past few days so the cursed tdi this time is literally just diagnosing the og cast

this post got ugly long so its under a cut

chris is ex-champion. he got to be champion for a few years until some fucking ten-year-old came in and stole his spot, and being a petty bitch, he took to making the Bad Guy Group (debatably, Team Drama.) he has fire and dark types, majorly, but takes on anything that seems useful. (a sharpedo or.. few.. make for an interesting obstacle put in the way of some of those trainers out there.)

feral ezekiel is a ghost trainer. cryptic and confusing. he looks about as much akin to a pokemon as he does a human being, making for a pretty spooky atmosphere that fits in well with ghost-types. 

duncan, obviously, gets to be dark type. there is literally no surprise to this at all, the dark types are the edgy ones

DJ doesnt have a type preference, he’s a breeder! he helps run the pokemon daycare and always takes extra good care of the eggs nobody comes to pick up, meaning he basically has his own swarm of baby pokemon that he cares for immensely. (you know his partner is a bunny pokemon, im just not sure which)

Lindsay also doesn’t have a type preference, but she does contests! dj helped her breed and raise the perfect pokemon for them, and she loves all of her babies so much! she spoils them rotten with accessories and treats. (think lisia!)

tyler is a fighting trainer, which is a whole ass mess. he ends up in personal brawls with his pokemon sometimes, and on more than one occasion he’s managed to get into funny, but concerning situations with them. it doesn’t help that at least one of his pokemon is just as clumsy as him.

eva leans fighting too, but she’s the total opposite of tyler. her pokemon are dignified, strong, and make no mistakes bcs they practice hard and they follow a strict schedule. she also takes on some normal types, but they tend to be more casual or sacrificial to heal up another pokemon during battle

 bridgette and geoff both take on water types, as expected, but bridgette leansto pure water types whereas geoff leans to mixed types (esp water-psychic, those guys can learn moves that make for the SICKEST parties bro)

sadie & katie lean fairy, with a side of grass and normal. 

noah, not caring for battle, followed in the path of professor, so he kind of just has an ever-rotating supply of pokemon to study. sometimes owen can drag him out on an adventure, and noah just uses that time to study owen and his pokemon.

speaking of, owen has a pretty diverse team! (think rival- kind of just a mishmash of types.) A snorlax (raised from munchlax, thanks dj!) is his partner pokemon, but thats about all i got

cody, ever the man to try and get attention, doesn’t have a set type. he’s trying to fill out his pokedex to impress, and complete gym challenges in attempt to reach championship, so he’s constantly rotating whatever’s most powerful and what matches up with type advantages (that he calls noah to confirm, every time. ‘soo im about to head into the dragon gym, and its not that i doubt you, but are you sure that fairy types are the move here? because i mean- theyre just so small and dainty and dragon types are-’ ‘holy shit cody i dedicated my life to this, yes im sure, just go already.’)

trent took the route of normal types, and kind of just takes on pokemon that can sing. jigglypuff, chatot, and the rarity that is an eevee, able to carry a tune. he makes his career around music rather than battles, and loves to sing with his pokemon!

izzy took on grass (and bug) because she finds those ones the most fun! she likes to go absolutely bonkers with them in the forests, hanging out with wild pokemon of all kinds. (most of them shes actually not really officially caught,she just foraged berries, shared, and they followed her home.)

justin is, expectedly, also a contest participant more than a trainer! most of his pokemons movesets contain weather-related moves, so he can have watever weather he wants, whenever he wants. otherwise they tend to be cute, pretty, or graceful moves tbh. snooty pokemon on the dl.

courtney, fire. her passion and determination? could only be matched by fire types. she just works best with them out of all the types, so it kinda just happened

gwen is poison, mostly because its one of the edgy types and she’s gotta fit that Gothe Aesthetique somehow. 

harold doesn’t have a type, but he mostly definitely as a durant. a fighting type, yknow, cause of the ninja thing. (probably one of the bipedal ones). at least one electric type, and probably a flying type, too. 

heather? electric and dark! morpeko is her partner pokemon. she likes to do dramatic catwalks lit by nothing but the lightning bolts of her pokemon, ominous!

beth is a bug/ground type trainer! couldnt tell ya why if you asked, its just the vibes.

i was gonna be cliche and give chef food-themed pokemon, but then i looked at a garbodor, and i think you know what chef has. garbodor, muk, those types. he runs with chris in the bad guy group.

leshawna is unfortunately the only one im totally blanking on. i got absolutely nothing for her.

[jimdsmith34]

Grade Schools Are Having A Huge Issue With Racism And We Need To Talk About It

Principal Christine Hoffman, leader of an elementary school in St. Petersburg, Florida, sent out a seeminglyracist email to the rest of her staff.

In a letter about classroom rosters for the new school year, the Tampa Bay Times reports that the principal wrote to the Campbell Elementary staff:

White students should be in the same class.

Word about the email made its way to parents, who called for her to resign. Hoffman did apologize and put in a request to be transferred to another school.

She wrote in a resignation letter published by the Bay News 9:

Due to recent events, my presence has created a distraction. As a result, Ive requested to transfer and allow another person to lead this school.

Giphy

So she can go over to the next school and promotesegregation there, too? Jurys out on that, as well as whether or not she will actually be transferred. This sad situation shows that racism is as much an institution ingrade schools as it is anywhere.

Here are a few more instances that show just howoften school-aged kids experience racism like us adults:

1. People keep tryingtheseun-funny promposals.

it is two thousand and fucking seventeen pic.twitter.com/kqZ4XPIlbX

Jon Aro (@papichombo) March 29, 2017

Racist promposals are sadly as expected as prom itself, just much less enjoyable.

2. Ateacher cut a black first gradershair.

7-year-old Lamya Cammon was playing with her hair too much for the teachers liking. The teacher was suspended, butthen allowed back into the classroom.

3. NC kids gotan assignmentabout a bombing and had to pick survivors by race.

Giphy

Yeah. The kids were asked to choose, by race, who would survive a nuclear attack, reports a local Charlotte news station.

4. Boston high school students were told to go back to Africa by classmates.

High school seniors at the Boston Latin School,Meggie Noel and Kylie Webster-Cazeau, launched a campaign called #BlackatBLS after being bullied on Twitter by classmates, reported HuffPost.

They printed out 25 of the racist posts their classmates had posted on social media, and sent them to school officials. After BLS staff failed to rectify the situation, the protest grew into a citywide movement throughoutall of the Boston Public Schools.

Forever honored to be a part of something greater, and the work has only just begun #BlackAtBls https://t.co/sik0CeGd1T

Meggie Noel . (@FrosOut_FistUp) March 29, 2017

5. Michigan students taunted Latinoclassmates with a build the wall chant.

Thanks, Donald.

6. A Jews vs. Nazis game happened at a New Jersey high school party.

Nazi vs Jews drinking game pic.twitter.com/TO8ECSER7e

Tyler Rice (@TylerJamesRice_) June 22, 2014

Its kind of like beer pong, but with underaged drinking and cups organized in the shapes of a swastika and the Star of David.

The teenager who outed the participants via Snapchat wrote a blog about it if your curiosity so moves you.

7. Middle school kids in Florida were given a test full of racist stereotypes.

Ladies and gentlemen, the How Comfortable Are You Test:

View post on imgur.com

A spokesperson for the Hernando County School District told Bustle,

In no way does this assignment meet the standards of appropriate instructional material. After being made aware of the assignment, school administration began an investigation and has taken immediate disciplinary action.

This teacher was within her probationary period and has been released from employment.

8. Were not going to forget the time a young black studentwas flipped out of her desk by a cop.

Yeah, that happened.

Giphy

9. Black slaves were referenced as immigrants in a Houston high school textbook.

A Texas mom blasted the debauchery on Facebook:

Many of you asked about my son’s textbook. Here it is. Erasure is real y’all!!! Teach your children the truth!!!#blacklivesmatter

Posted by Roni Dean-Burren on Thursday, October 1, 2015

Book publisher, McGraw-Hill, plans to revise and republish now.

Giphy

10. A 6th grader was threatened with suspension for his normal hair cut.

This student was threatened with in-school suspension over his hair cut https://t.co/SUNdIqKAWU pic.twitter.com/HSACuF9ufx

WPLG Local 10 News (@WPLGLocal10) April 26, 2017

A 12-year-old student, Xavier Davis at Cedar Bayou Junior High in Baytown, Texas, was told to either fix his hair cut or be suspended, reported Click 2 Houston.

The two lines in his hair were considered a distraction. His dad says hes shown up to the school with the same haircut for at least six months.

11. Second graders in LA were given a math problem askingthem tocount slaves needed in cotton fields.

Giphy

The students at the magnet school (designed for those gifted in math and science) were were also asked to do a math problem about a slave man mailing himself to freedom, reported NBC Los Angeles.

Karol Gray, grandmother of a 7-year-old student there, said,

Although it has racial undertones, I feel the worse undertone is, What are we teaching our children?’

Right. What we teaching children?

Giphy

Childrenin grade schools are no safer from racism than adults.

Theyre getting physically violated by the adults they aresupposed to trust.

Classmates they are forced to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with daily are verbally abusing them on and offline. And to make matters worse, theyre beingtaught damaging lessons that theyare required to learn and regurgitate back as a measure of their intelligence.

So yeah, the entire school system gets a whole L for this ongoing BS.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/23/grade-schools-are-having-a-huge-issue-with-racism-and-we-need-to-talk-about-it/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/08/grade-schools-are-having-huge-issue.html

[samanthasroberts]

Grade Schools Are Having A Huge Issue With Racism And We Need To Talk About It

Principal Christine Hoffman, leader of an elementary school in St. Petersburg, Florida, sent out a seeminglyracist email to the rest of her staff.

In a letter about classroom rosters for the new school year, the Tampa Bay Times reports that the principal wrote to the Campbell Elementary staff:

White students should be in the same class.

Word about the email made its way to parents, who called for her to resign. Hoffman did apologize and put in a request to be transferred to another school.

She wrote in a resignation letter published by the Bay News 9:

Due to recent events, my presence has created a distraction. As a result, Ive requested to transfer and allow another person to lead this school.

Giphy

So she can go over to the next school and promotesegregation there, too? Jurys out on that, as well as whether or not she will actually be transferred. This sad situation shows that racism is as much an institution ingrade schools as it is anywhere.

Here are a few more instances that show just howoften school-aged kids experience racism like us adults:

1. People keep tryingtheseun-funny promposals.

it is two thousand and fucking seventeen pic.twitter.com/kqZ4XPIlbX

Jon Aro (@papichombo) March 29, 2017

Racist promposals are sadly as expected as prom itself, just much less enjoyable.

2. Ateacher cut a black first gradershair.

7-year-old Lamya Cammon was playing with her hair too much for the teachers liking. The teacher was suspended, butthen allowed back into the classroom.

3. NC kids gotan assignmentabout a bombing and had to pick survivors by race.

Giphy

Yeah. The kids were asked to choose, by race, who would survive a nuclear attack, reports a local Charlotte news station.

4. Boston high school students were told to go back to Africa by classmates.

High school seniors at the Boston Latin School,Meggie Noel and Kylie Webster-Cazeau, launched a campaign called #BlackatBLS after being bullied on Twitter by classmates, reported HuffPost.

They printed out 25 of the racist posts their classmates had posted on social media, and sent them to school officials. After BLS staff failed to rectify the situation, the protest grew into a citywide movement throughoutall of the Boston Public Schools.

Forever honored to be a part of something greater, and the work has only just begun #BlackAtBls https://t.co/sik0CeGd1T

Meggie Noel . (@FrosOut_FistUp) March 29, 2017

5. Michigan students taunted Latinoclassmates with a build the wall chant.

Thanks, Donald.

6. A Jews vs. Nazis game happened at a New Jersey high school party.

Nazi vs Jews drinking game pic.twitter.com/TO8ECSER7e

Tyler Rice (@TylerJamesRice_) June 22, 2014

Its kind of like beer pong, but with underaged drinking and cups organized in the shapes of a swastika and the Star of David.

The teenager who outed the participants via Snapchat wrote a blog about it if your curiosity so moves you.

7. Middle school kids in Florida were given a test full of racist stereotypes.

Ladies and gentlemen, the How Comfortable Are You Test:

View post on imgur.com

A spokesperson for the Hernando County School District told Bustle,

In no way does this assignment meet the standards of appropriate instructional material. After being made aware of the assignment, school administration began an investigation and has taken immediate disciplinary action.

This teacher was within her probationary period and has been released from employment.

8. Were not going to forget the time a young black studentwas flipped out of her desk by a cop.

Yeah, that happened.

Giphy

9. Black slaves were referenced as immigrants in a Houston high school textbook.

A Texas mom blasted the debauchery on Facebook:

Book publisher, McGraw-Hill, plans to revise and republish now.

Giphy

10. A 6th grader was threatened with suspension for his normal hair cut.

This student was threatened with in-school suspension over his hair cut https://t.co/SUNdIqKAWU pic.twitter.com/HSACuF9ufx

WPLG Local 10 News (@WPLGLocal10) April 26, 2017

A 12-year-old student, Xavier Davis at Cedar Bayou Junior High in Baytown, Texas, was told to either fix his hair cut or be suspended, reported Click 2 Houston.

The two lines in his hair were considered a distraction. His dad says hes shown up to the school with the same haircut for at least six months.

11. Second graders in LA were given a math problem askingthem tocount slaves needed in cotton fields.

Giphy

The students at the magnet school (designed for those gifted in math and science) were were also asked to do a math problem about a slave man mailing himself to freedom, reported NBC Los Angeles.

Karol Gray, grandmother of a 7-year-old student there, said,

Although it has racial undertones, I feel the worse undertone is, What are we teaching our children?’

Right. What we teaching children?

Giphy

Childrenin grade schools are no safer from racism than adults.

Theyre getting physically violated by the adults they aresupposed to trust.

Classmates they are forced to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with daily are verbally abusing them on and offline. And to make matters worse, theyre beingtaught damaging lessons that theyare required to learn and regurgitate back as a measure of their intelligence.

So yeah, the entire school system gets a whole L for this ongoing BS.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/23/grade-schools-are-having-a-huge-issue-with-racism-and-we-need-to-talk-about-it/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/08/23/grade-schools-are-having-a-huge-issue-with-racism-and-we-need-to-talk-about-it/

[allofbeercom]

Grade Schools Are Having A Huge Issue With Racism And We Need To Talk About It

Principal Christine Hoffman, leader of an elementary school in St. Petersburg, Florida, sent out a seeminglyracist email to the rest of her staff.

In a letter about classroom rosters for the new school year, the Tampa Bay Times reports that the principal wrote to the Campbell Elementary staff:

White students should be in the same class.

Word about the email made its way to parents, who called for her to resign. Hoffman did apologize and put in a request to be transferred to another school.

She wrote in a resignation letter published by the Bay News 9:

Due to recent events, my presence has created a distraction. As a result, Ive requested to transfer and allow another person to lead this school.

Giphy

So she can go over to the next school and promotesegregation there, too? Jurys out on that, as well as whether or not she will actually be transferred. This sad situation shows that racism is as much an institution ingrade schools as it is anywhere.

Here are a few more instances that show just howoften school-aged kids experience racism like us adults:

1. People keep tryingtheseun-funny promposals.

it is two thousand and fucking seventeen pic.twitter.com/kqZ4XPIlbX

Jon Aro (@papichombo) March 29, 2017

Racist promposals are sadly as expected as prom itself, just much less enjoyable.

2. Ateacher cut a black first gradershair.

7-year-old Lamya Cammon was playing with her hair too much for the teachers liking. The teacher was suspended, butthen allowed back into the classroom.

3. NC kids gotan assignmentabout a bombing and had to pick survivors by race.

Giphy

Yeah. The kids were asked to choose, by race, who would survive a nuclear attack, reports a local Charlotte news station.

4. Boston high school students were told to go back to Africa by classmates.

High school seniors at the Boston Latin School,Meggie Noel and Kylie Webster-Cazeau, launched a campaign called #BlackatBLS after being bullied on Twitter by classmates, reported HuffPost.

They printed out 25 of the racist posts their classmates had posted on social media, and sent them to school officials. After BLS staff failed to rectify the situation, the protest grew into a citywide movement throughoutall of the Boston Public Schools.

Forever honored to be a part of something greater, and the work has only just begun #BlackAtBls https://t.co/sik0CeGd1T

Meggie Noel . (@FrosOut_FistUp) March 29, 2017

5. Michigan students taunted Latinoclassmates with a build the wall chant.

Thanks, Donald.

6. A Jews vs. Nazis game happened at a New Jersey high school party.

Nazi vs Jews drinking game pic.twitter.com/TO8ECSER7e

Tyler Rice (@TylerJamesRice_) June 22, 2014

Its kind of like beer pong, but with underaged drinking and cups organized in the shapes of a swastika and the Star of David.

The teenager who outed the participants via Snapchat wrote a blog about it if your curiosity so moves you.

7. Middle school kids in Florida were given a test full of racist stereotypes.

Ladies and gentlemen, the How Comfortable Are You Test:

View post on imgur.com

A spokesperson for the Hernando County School District told Bustle,

In no way does this assignment meet the standards of appropriate instructional material. After being made aware of the assignment, school administration began an investigation and has taken immediate disciplinary action.

This teacher was within her probationary period and has been released from employment.

8. Were not going to forget the time a young black studentwas flipped out of her desk by a cop.

Yeah, that happened.

Giphy

9. Black slaves were referenced as immigrants in a Houston high school textbook.

A Texas mom blasted the debauchery on Facebook:

Many of you asked about my son’s textbook. Here it is. Erasure is real y’all!!! Teach your children the truth!!!#blacklivesmatter

Posted by Roni Dean-Burren on Thursday, October 1, 2015

Book publisher, McGraw-Hill, plans to revise and republish now.

Giphy

10. A 6th grader was threatened with suspension for his normal hair cut.

This student was threatened with in-school suspension over his hair cut https://t.co/SUNdIqKAWU pic.twitter.com/HSACuF9ufx

WPLG Local 10 News (@WPLGLocal10) April 26, 2017

A 12-year-old student, Xavier Davis at Cedar Bayou Junior High in Baytown, Texas, was told to either fix his hair cut or be suspended, reported Click 2 Houston.

The two lines in his hair were considered a distraction. His dad says hes shown up to the school with the same haircut for at least six months.

11. Second graders in LA were given a math problem askingthem tocount slaves needed in cotton fields.

Giphy

The students at the magnet school (designed for those gifted in math and science) were were also asked to do a math problem about a slave man mailing himself to freedom, reported NBC Los Angeles.

Karol Gray, grandmother of a 7-year-old student there, said,

Although it has racial undertones, I feel the worse undertone is, What are we teaching our children?’

Right. What we teaching children?

Giphy

Childrenin grade schools are no safer from racism than adults.

Theyre getting physically violated by the adults they aresupposed to trust.

Classmates they are forced to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with daily are verbally abusing them on and offline. And to make matters worse, theyre beingtaught damaging lessons that theyare required to learn and regurgitate back as a measure of their intelligence.

So yeah, the entire school system gets a whole L for this ongoing BS.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/23/grade-schools-are-having-a-huge-issue-with-racism-and-we-need-to-talk-about-it/

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So It Begins

Jambo, morons! Welcome back to another riveting season of where the success rate is similar to the cast members combined IQs: practically non-existent. But hey, were Americans. We love shit that is destined to failwhether its reality shows or President-elects. Its our cross to bear.

ANNNNYWAYS. So MTV had a hard job to do: top the group of idiots that made up season 4. And thankfully for you, but mostly for me, they did just that. Shoutout to you MTV, you da real MVP.

Also, as many of you know, I tend to feature quotes from my loveable, yet incredibly cruel mother in these recaps. You think Im bad? She once called a woman in Starbucks a psycho bitch because she took the last of the skinny vanilla mix. True story. DM me for details. Lets begin now.

This season MTV really went for #culture and decided to have the show in the Dominican Republic. Even reality shows get island fever, I guess. I mean, you can really only throw so many group orgys/luaus so many times on one show.

Ryan Devlin, the host who you feel bad for like 99% of the time, meets up with the cast and is like you guys all suck at and theyve all been trained to say relationships. Of course they all forget their one fucking line and just sound like they are saying random shit.

RYAN: You guys suck at CASTMATE 1: Relationships! CASTMATE 2: Tomato! CASTMATE 3: Unicorn piss! CASTMATE 4: 9/11 was a hoax!

We meet Tyranny (Mom Quote: IS HER NAME TRANNY!?! theyre so cute when they are mildly offensive) says that all of her boyfriends have either cheated on her or knocked other girls up. In the words of Donald Trump: Sad! Very Unfair!

Theres Jaylan who used to be a loser, hit the gym, now gets pussy. Male Laney Boggs. Tale as old as time. Moving on.

Taylor: hottest girl on the show easily, talks about how her dad would kill some of the men she has dated, low-key concerned for her safety and the safety of others.

Theres Joey, the povo as fuck part-time garbage man who spent his last remaining dollars on a gaudy watch. Obviously a very smart investor. Didnt know sent kids on scholarship. Im just happy hes honest about being a garbage man and doesnt try and be like Im a sanitation assistant. Not that any of them know what sanitation means.

Joey is def hot though10/10 would bang, just to get hook up with blue collar worker off my bucket list.

REAL PICTURE OF JOEY:

THE FIRST DATE RULES

Ryan explains about how they do comprehensive interviews and questionnaires to develop and algorithm that eventually finds their match. You know poor Joey didnt know what was happening after comprehensive.

This season, theres another twist: there are 11 guys and 11 girls, but they only get ten chances. Obviously MTV was giving away too much money with this show, so they made more couples. What? Youre thinking it.

For the first date, MTV acted like a bunch of fucking narcs and sent bios to the contestants’ parents so mom and dad can pick who they think is a match. Everyone is like, Mom dont fuck this up for me.

My mom: If you were ever on this show I would literally never acknowledge you again. (Fair enough.)

Joeys mom picks Carolina, whos like okay cool, whatever. She doesnt know hes a garbage man yet, so give her a break.

Hannah’swho is from my hometown, hey girlfamily picks Oswaldo, a self-described horny genius. Welp, I think a line like that means its time for a shot. Brb.

Anyway, Hannah is like I would rather eat my own spleen then date Oswaldo. (paraphrase)

Giannas mom chose Hayden and they start hugging and are like . Fucking spare me. The other fucking losers have to send these couples to the truth booth after their date.

BACK TO THE HOUSE

The castmates get to their dungeon for the next few months and drinks are flowing and shirts are off. I remember my first sip of alcohol.

Cassandra is drunk and is wanting to touch everyones face. She like Im so flirty when Im drunk which is a weird way of saying Im a hoe.

Its Mikes birthday today. Hes like its my birthday so someone fuck me. *plays Birthday Sex* *stares aggressively at all the women*

Mike describes himself as a typical Staten Island boy. His hobbies include moisturizing, mispronouncing half the English language and fapping off to girls who look like Snooki.

Ozzy is a local, so you know he is dirty as fuck. Kathryn goes to Florida State, you know shes hot as fuck, but also borderline brain-dead.

Shes like I WANT TO BE A TEACHER! and its like, sure ya do sweetie, and I want to be a fucking astronaut. Stick to what you know and continue being a TFM girl.

Ozzy and Kathryn both want to be teachers. Snoreeeeee. Shes already like Im in lovewell folks, weve met the stage-5 clinger for the season.

Michael the douchebagnot be confused with Mike, the little man from Staten Islandis laying it on THICK to Taylor and she is not having it. Taylor has officially become my favorite on the show so far.

MICHAEL:Hey pretty lady TAYLOR:Ew seriously? Girls with asses like mine do not talk to guys with faces like yours.

Shes like youre so full of shit and Im like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK, TAYLOR.

Hayden and Gianna are talking about how they both have dogs and both like corn and other pretty basic shit and decide theyre going to be together forever.

GIANNA: I breathe air HAYDEN: No way, I breathe air!!!

They both have the flyover state bond, with Hayden being from Indiana and Gianna being from Ohio. Its always cute to see two people from middle America bond and discuss the fact that they fucked the rest of us over. True love.

Everyone is like Hayden and Gianna are a match, even though theyve all known each other for 3 seconds.

Joey the trash man is telling people that hes going to be a carpenter, much like a 3rd grader would say Mommy, Im going to be a superhero! Shannon brings me the biggest laugh of the night by asking him to do her carpets, clearly not knowing what a carpenter is. Shit like that makes me miss my sorority.

Ozzy is chain-smoking and being like I DONT WANT TO BE THE OLD ME. Aka, me on New Years Eve.

Kathryn and Ozzy are drunk as fuck and being flirty and going WE WANT TO HELP KIDS!!!! You stay the fuck away from my future children, Rush-Boobs and Ozzy.

Michael is talking to Gianna and starts telling a sob story about how he was chubby and he blossomed. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one. No seriously, every fucking season they have one of these guys.

MTV CASTING: Ok we need at least one hick, one former fat dude, one ripped black guy and one oddly feminine guy. Search the fucking country.

Michael starts asking Gianna about her open-heart surgery, gets bored halfway through and just starts sucking her face. Okay. Well that escalated quickly. Quote from mom: He doesnt give a shit about her faulty heart. Hes trying to get laid. Profound.

Rush-Boobs wants to make Ozzy jealous and starts low-key hooking up with Mike. Fantastic logic, cant wait for you to educate our youth.

Then we meet Andre, who has trust issues because the girl he liked since 8th grade literally sat on his friends lap. Meanwhile, Tyrannys boyfriends are having children, but OKAY. #dramatic

Alicia is the perpetual sidepiece, aka every womans enemy.

Ozzy and Kathryn already think they are a match and Ozzy forgive Rush-Boobs for hooking up with Mike because hes a cheater too, so this is karma. Wow, how fucking zen of you.

THE DATE

Hayden dresses in camo for the date and Gianna is like You can take the boy out of Indiana, but you cant make him dress like a normal fucking human.

Its very clear Gianna is over Hayden, whereas Hayden hasnt been this excited since he attended a Donald Trump rally last summer.

GIANNA: FML HAYDEN: *excitedly whispers* Build that wall! Build that wall!

Joey just looks like a trash man, like, just in life. He has resting garbage man face.

Hannah does not like Oswaldo, its very obvious. Shes going to call her parents and demand a raise in her monthly allowance for making her suffer through this bullshit.

Gianna starts kissing Hayden and shes like Ill give him a chance. How fucking noble of you.

Carolina and Joey are talking about their parents and Joey tells her that he would never cheat on a girl and Carolina damn near creams her pants. They kiss and meanwhile the whole audience is wondering does she know hes a trash man? That dramatic irony, doe.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

ShockerHayden and Gianna to the truth booth. Michael is like WE MADE OUT LAST NIGHT but Im not jealous.

MICHAEL: Im not even mad! NARRATOR: Michael was, in fact, very mad.

Ah, but there is a truth booth twist! They can trade in truth booth and add $150,000 to their prize. But if they take the money then Hayden and Gianna can never get sent back together.

The house is torn. Im torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel.

*Starts Twitter poll asking people what they would do*

They decide not to take the trade, which my mom and I both agree is stupid.

And lookie here: No match. So thats done.

Michael is thrilled. My mom thinks he looks like a baby rat. Cannot un-see that.

Gianna gives a speech basically saying that she didnt feel it the whole time and everyone is like okay cool thanks for telling us, *whispers* ya fuckin bitch.

We also very quickly meet Kam, who has a rotation of men because #feminism. And Edward, who has a chest tattoo. Thats it for now.

Gianna goes to hang out with Michael and hes over it. He makes her cry, I dont really care, blah blah blah, moves on with life. Gianna and Michael are going to be the annoying couple this season. Buckle up.

MATCH CEREMONY

This season they have the blackout rule again but this time they cut the winnings in half if they blackout. Thats way harsh, Tai.

First is Kam and Eddy. Shes building up her newest rotation.

Taylor picks Tyler, who is hot. Wait what? Why did they not introduce the hot guy? What is this fuckery, MTV? They also sound like they could be identical twins.

Kari, dont know her yet so whatever, picks little man Mike.

Casandra picks Kaylen.

Caroline picks Joey.

Tyranny and Oswaldo. Can I just call you Tee? Im going to call you Tee, because Im one letter away from being low-key fucked up.

Giannas dumb ass is up and shes like I HAVE A GREAT CONNECTION WITH MICHAEL so obviously shes going to pick Ozzy.

Tee and Alicia are pissed and threatening to curb stomp this bitch. Fuck yes, this is what I signed up for. Gianna is like Leave me alone everyone, Im proving this to Michael! Literally all you proved was that youre crazy AND stupid.

Hannah picks Michael.

Alicia picks Andre.

Rush-Boobs picks Derek, who is also hot as fuck. Also, Rush-Boobs laugh reminds me of Kitty from. I know. Its all you can think about now.

Shannon, who btw really needs her carpets cleaned, picks Hayden.

Well this is excitingthey get two matches. Not bad for week one. They dont make me want to kill myselfyet.

Ryan gives the follow your heart speech that we hear every fucking episode and the cast goes back to the house to turn the fuck up.

So far, off to an interesting start. Gotta say, good-looking cast this season. Dumb as rocks, but good-looking. Come back next week to see what other shit I can talk about my peers who are doing far worse than I am. Peace, bitches.

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from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So It Begins

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[ID: Tags reading #i am so enthralled by this concept you have no idea#also like. i mentioned in rose’s section how this is a genuinely scary situation for her.#but to be clear. it is for all three of them the moment they realize that this Is Not Their Doctor#because theyre suddenly on a ship going through time ans space with. almost a stranger. and one who has proven that he’s break laws#fundamental to his worldview rather than let them go#doctor who#rose tyler#martha jones#martha girl get the fuck out of there oh my god#the doctor comes out looking the worst in her section rip to him for not handling her leaving him in a normal and healthy way very well#i think it would be very funny if the doctor said goodbye to her and then immediately went. ‘oh! right! martha is the only thing keeping me#from jumping off a cliff! brb i need to get martha back at whatever cost!’ sir go to therapy#donna noble#also also to be clear im not trying to insult rose in her section thats just how she is#remember that time her boyfriend turned into plastic in front of her and she. didnt notice. or that time the doctor was being strangled in#the other room and she. didnt notice.#rose tyler girl that you are. you never know what the fuck is going on around you and i love you for that. how are you still alive.#REMEMBER THAT TIME SHE GOT BACK FROM AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION AND DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THE DALEK ABOUT TO SHOOT THE DOCTOR IN THE FACE#ROSE TYLER. GIRL. LOOK LEFT AND RIGHT BEFORE CROSSING A STREET AT LEAST#donna’s here is the most fucked up i think because even if this situation is ‘resolved’ and she goes back to her doctor like. how does she#keep going with that fact in the back of her mind at all times. that he can and will do this to her. that he’ll take himself and everything#else away from her while she begs him not to.#angst <3 /End ID]

of ten’s companions, if the doctor couldn’t handle losing them and crossed his own timeline to trick them into traveling with future!him instead of past!him so that he’d have a little more time with them:

rose would do it. first because bless her but she has the situational awareness of a rock, and legitimately would not realize this isn’t her doctor until his facade starts to break down and he starts bleeding grief-laced love for her at every turn. but once she does realize it, she’s both deeply sympathetic and a little scared that she could make him into this. it’s a lot to be confronted with having that much power over someone, to break them so thoroughly. rose would try to get back to her doctor, but while she’s with the future version, she tries to do what she can to ease his pain. (she also tries to figure out a way to subvert her fate. she fails.)

i think martha would be harder to trick. she can smell desperation on the doctor like a bloodhound. she is so tapped into the fact that this man wants to off himself so bad and that she’s 90% of his self-restraint, so present her with a doctor who is lacking that and she’s onto him immediately. however, assuming he gets her to come with him, explains why he’s doing this, there’s like. a minute where she’s kind of. not flattered exactly, but surprised, giddy with the realization that he’d come back for a little more time with her, especially if this is early season 3 martha. which would all come crashing down around the time that he reveals that he wasn’t pushed to this by losing her to some tragedy or her death or anything- but that she chose to leave. that is the point at which martha goes ‘oh i need to get the fuck off of this tardis right now’ and ghosts the past!doctor that she was also traveling with because holy shit, man.

donna, like rose, is easily bamboozled into following the wrong doctor home, provided that he shuffles her along into his tardis too fast for her to argue. but she catches on far quicker than rose does. like, three minutes tops of watching the doctor move through the tardis in a way that’s definitely not enthusiastic piloting and looks more like guilty panic. and then she yells at him for lying to her. and she yells at him for kidnapping her. and then she stops yelling because he’s gone sort of still and quiet and his eyes are just broken. and he doesn’t explain himself, he confesses. donna is going to try to stay with him after this btw. because how do you go back to looking your best friend in the eyes when you know he’d take everything you’ve become away from you, even to save your life? and this is still the doctor, he still did that to her, but he regrets it. regrets it so much that he can’t live with it, he’s breaking time and space just to hear her say his name again. and donna doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wanted to lose her.