#but they're not a necessity if you're trying to figure out what you like :-)

[millipedegf]

silly question but what sort of pencil do u use for yr art?

not a silly question! i primarily use a mechanical pencil from muji for my sketches (w/ 0.5 HB pilot brand lead) for a good range of lines, but i'll occasionally use tombow HB wooden pencils too if i want a bit of a bigger stroke. those are the main two - nothing all that fancy!

[kayveleth]

Let's start with an exercise. I want you to say, "I want to be a mindless fuckdoll" out loud. Say it normally, as though you were stating your choice of beverage. It requires equally little thought. You've spent plenty of time exploring your other choices, and "mindless fuckdoll" is definitely your favorite. If I ask you what you want to be, the words "I want to be a mindless fuckdoll" will tumble from your mouth with the ease of your name or your birthday. That doesn't have to happen yet, though. You've simply decided that "mindless fuckdoll" is what your end goal is.

In order to help with that, at the end of every sentence, I'd like you to say the phrase "mindless fuckdoll" in as casual a way you can. Mindless fuckdoll. Don't try to sound sexy or blank. Mindless fuckdoll. Just say it normally. Mindless fuckdoll. Over and over. Mindless fuckdoll. With each sentence. Mindless fuckdoll. I want you to get used to saying it. Mindless fuckdoll. I want it to become almost a habit. Mindless fuckdoll. You know, the more you use a muscle in a specific way. Mindless fuckdoll. The more readily your body does it each time. Mindless fuckdoll. And the less your conscious mind needs to be devoted to doing it.Mindless fuckdoll. Can you remember every time you brushed your teeth or buckled a seatbelt? Mindless fuckdoll. No, because eventually these became ingrained activities. Mindless fuckdoll. And you didn't have to think about them at all after a while. Mindless fuckdoll. And that's what you're doing right now. Mindless fuckdoll. You're training your mouth to say

"mindless fuckdoll" without even needing to think about it. Mindless fuckdoll. It's becoming muscle memory. Mindless fuckdoll. And now it's gotten so easy, that you don't need to be reminded to say "mindless fuckdoll." You just continue saying "mindless fuckdoll." This won't turn you into a mindless fuckdoll yet. It will take a bit of time to remove the rest of the brain and body that are needed for your everyday necessities. But the more you hear yourself say it, the more used to it you become.

We'll start with your sense of responsibility. You have many of those things. They range from massive to minuscule. Some days you may have to make a tough decision at work. Some days, you may just have to get all of your laundry done. But when you're a mindless fuckdoll, you won't have to think about any of that. Won't that be fantastic? Nod your head. Now take a deep breath in... and happily sigh away your responsibilities.

Next, let's get rid of your sense of modesty. Normally, you have to negotiate societal norms of dress and behavior. You have to figure out the ever-changing lines of social acceptability to try to maintain your relationships with people. And that can be fucking exhausting. But that's another great thing being a mindless fuckdoll. Mindless fuckdolls wear what they're told to wear and behave how they're told to behave. Isn't it great to not worry about that anymore? Nod and smile. Take a deep breath in... and happily sigh away your modesty.

Now, finally, we will do away with your sense of self. You spend so much time worrying about yourself and your relation to others. How your actions define you. How your decisions have consequences. But you want to be a mindless fuckdoll. And mindless fuckdolls don't make decisions. Mindless fuckdolls exist to be used and useful. That is your dream, isn't it? Smile and nod. Take a deep breath... and happily sigh away your sense of self.

Now there should still be a few scraps of your mind remaining. It's always so difficult to blow out all the candles at once, isn't it? Nod and smile. Now, to get rid of that pesky little brain, want you to imagine something for me. want you to imagine yourself stepping on an elevator on the tenth floor of a building. This elevator is your mind. The tenth floor is where all your everyday thinking and behavior work. The doors close and your mind is closed to your thoughts and will. You look up and see a digital display reading the number 10 in red numerals. The elevator is going to go down, floor by floor. Your mind will fall deeper into trance with each floor. deeper with each number until I reach 1. And with each number, you will say "I want to be a mindless fuckdoll." You will believe it more each time, as it flashes into your head like a fireworks display. And now, you feel the elevator begin to move down. Your heart flutters a little in anticipation, but there's no going back now. And you don't want to go back now anyway. Mindless fuckdoll. The elevator comes to a halt and the display reads

9

The doors open and you realize that this floor is full of nothing but obedience, and now the elevator that is your mind has been flooded by the orange gas of obedience. There's nothing in your mind now except obedience. That's good though. Mindless fuckdolls should be obedient. Mindless fuckdolls love to be useful. Mindless fuckdolls live to serve. And you want to be a mindless fuckdoll, don't you? Nod and smile. The elevator doors close, but your mind is still permeated with obedience. The elevator moves and stops again. The indicator reads

8

The doors open and this floor contains submission. Now your mind is flooded with the blue gas of it, filling you with the knowledge that you are just a helpless toy in the grasp of someone else. You yield to your superiors, and everyone is superior to a mindless fuckdoll. And you like knowing that, don't you? Smile and nod. Mindless fuckdoll. Now the doors shut, but the elevator is full of blue and orange vapor, swirling together. And that's right. That's how it should be. Obedience and submission go perfectly together. The elevator moves down again and again comes to a halt. The display says

7

This is the floor where your arousal is kept. The pink gas rolls in and you are overwhelmed by it. Your eyes roll back in your head for a moment as the pleasurable sensations take over your mind and body. Your nipples harden and your cunt drools. You get excited at the idea of being a mindless fuckdoll, don't you? Nod and smile. The doors close, and now there's pink gas in here, too, with the blue and orange, keeping your mind and body aroused, submissive, and obedient. The elevator moves down to the next floor and stops. The display reads

6

The doors open and in pours the white gas of blankness. Mindless fuckdolls don't think. They have nothing to think with. Their brains are clean chalkboards for anyone to write on. Your last few stray thoughts are swallowed up by this intense blankness. Then the doors shut, but you barely notice. Now your head is filled with obedience, arousal, submission, and blankness. And those are all good things, aren't they? Smile and nod. The elevator moves again and stops at the next floor. The counter says

5

You're halfway to being a mindless fuckdoll. The lower you go, the more intense everything becomes. The doors open and a bright yellow vapor rolls in. This is the happiness floor! Your mind is filled with pure joy. The ecstasy of becoming a mindless fuckdoll is overwhelming and you can't keep a big smile from your face, can you? Nod and smile. The doors shut, and that makes you happy. Everything makes you happy. Your mind is filled with lovely gasses of so many colors now, swirling around each other. Orange and pink and blue and white and yellow. You're so happy, and obedient. So aroused and submissive. And so, so blank. You don't even feel the elevator move anymore. Just suddenly, the floor indicator reads:

4

The doors open and you are engulfed in a green gas of silliness. You giggle as it hits you, and that's okay. Mindless fuckdolls have to do some very silly and stupid things sometimes. And now, the siliness is part of you. Make a silly noise for me and giggle at yourself. Isn't that fun? Smile and nod. The door closes and you are silly and happy, blank and submissive, aroused and obedient. But it's so easy to be all these things because these are the ingredients of a mindless fuckdoll. And you want to be a mindless fuckdoll. The digital display that you're helplessly staring at reads

3

The doors open and a purple fog surrounds you. You instantly feel your skin come alive with pleasure. This is the floor of sensitivity. Your nerves are primed for pleasure at the slightest touch, at the tiniest little brush. Every hole begs to be filled. Your pussy is so sensitive that you could probably cum from a soft breeze. You looove being so ready for pleasure, don't you? Nod and smile. The doors shut and you are so close to the bottom. Your mind is so blank and silly. So submissive and aroused. So obedient and happy. And you're so sensitive to pleasure. Only one more floor before you hit the bottom. And in no time, that mesmerizing floor indicator reads

2

The doors open all you an see is red. This is the lust floor, and you are instantly filled with a burning need. You NEED to obey. You NEED to submit. You NEED to be blank. You NEED to be silly. You NEED to be sensitive. You NEED to be happy. You NEED to be aroused. These are not options for you. You are consumed by lust and it intensifies everything. Nothing can stop you. You ache for it. You hunger for it now, and you can't stop can you? Smile wide and nod emphatically. Say "Uh-huh" and moan in beautiful agony of lust. The doors close and you know that it's all over. This last floor will complete your transformation into a mindless fuckdoll and there's no way to stop now. Your mind is a rainbow of colors: blue and green and pink and red and orange and white and purple and yellow. They swirl and dance, filling you with all the right ingredients for a mindless fuckdoll. And as you hungrily stare at the indicator, it changes to read

1

The doors open one last time and you are surrounded by millions of tiny bubbles. A mindless fuckdoll's head should be filled with bubbles. They reflect all of the colors swirling in your mind so that you see a glistening shiny rainbow wherever you look. And when they pop, you giggle. The bubbles keep coming in until your feet leave the floor. You are literally floating on the bubbles in your head. Any contact with what used to be your mind is lost as you float and drift away.

You did it. You're a mindless fuckdoll. Say that out loud. "I'm a mindless fuckdoll." It's so wonderful to be a mindless fuckdoll. One of the best parts of being a mindless fuckdoll is that you get to be mindless. Mindless things have no mind. And the other great part is, you get to be a fuckdoll. Fuckdolls are brainless beings to begin with. Like any doll, you have no thoughts, no will of your own. You just sit there, with a fixed expression on your face, ready to be played with. Your head is empty, waiting to be filled. Filled with commands and cum and anything else that will make you horny. Because you're a fuckdoll. And fuckdolls are horny. Your brain is gone. Your mouth is open and drooling. Your pussy is drooling, too, and begging to be touched. Your hands and feet, your arms and legs, your tits and ass, are all aching to be of service. Your mouth may groan or moan or grunt all on it's own, but you don't notice. You're too mindless to notice anything but your body and your commands.

Now, when you finish reading this, mindless fuckdoll, your eyes will glaze over. eventually your body will succumb to the lust and you will start to masturbate while repeating the phrase "mindless fuckdoll" over and over until you cum. And when you cum, you will cum harder than you ever have before. Because you are a mindless fuckdoll, and mindless fuckdolls are made to cum. After you cum, you will text me and you will obey any command given to you by me.

feeling better than ever and ready to become a mindless fuckdoll that much more easily next time.

[tadc-harlequin-au]

New Puppet Unlocked: Pomni, the Last Harlequin!

Pomni's character description:

I actually finished this about three days ago, but I didn't wanna post it because I haven't started on the others yet. I eventually decided that fuck it, we ball.

Pomni is the most recent and last model of a Combat Harlequin; P-1210. She doesn't have any remembrance of her life before becoming a Puppet, only the fact that she has an itch in her head that tells her to keep fighting.

After hunting down The Puppetmaster and a duel ensues between the two, it ends with the Harlequin and The Puppetmaster forming an alliance in order to fix the destroyed City.

Now, Pomni spends her time sparring, sharpening her sword, bantering with the Puppetmaster, hunting down bosses and eliminating manic Marionettes.

Fun facts about Pomni:

She likes sandwiches. Specifically, salmon.

She REALLY hates it when someone eats it. (It's Bubble)

She finds some things annoying in other Puppets, and will be blunt about it.

But that doesn't mean she doesn't care. In fact, far from it.

Pomni may come off as cold and jerkish due to her hot-temper, but in reality, her emotions simply have ahold on her more than anyone would ever really think.

Caine thinks that a therapist would benefit her. (honestly though)

She hasn't explored any hobbies outside from anything involving combat.

Pomni occasionally gets glimpses of visions when she dies; she is unaware of what they mean.

Pomni rarely gets drunk; she'll only indulge in alcohol when there's an occasion. Aside from that, she tends to limit Caine's alcohol intake (reasoning that he smells like booze), much to the Puppetmaster's dismay.

She shuts down any form of philosophical advices, thinking they're "typical" and "unnecessary".

She tends to be careless and rude in battle.

When push comes to shove, Pomni can and WILL use her sharp teeth to her advantage.

Pomni initially disliked Ragatha. She found the doll's positive demeanor eerie, and even uncanny, borderline inhuman. Thankfully, a few interactions and heart-heart conversations later, she's changed her mind since.

Bubble usually accompanies her when she's out on missions, a condition she had to agree on just so Caine would let her fight overburdened Puppets. Even though she hates the blimp's nonsense, she knows that his presence is out of necessity, since Bubble is the only way keeping in touch can be possible.

She rarely ever apologizes.

She once stole Caine's cane to try and figure out how his attacks work. She immediately lost interest once she found out it's just a plain, and boring metal cane.

She unlocks the first stage of enlightenment after the first boss.

Battle quotes:

"Yeah, yeah, shut up."

"I didn't come here just for you to act like a wuss!"

"You. Me. This sword. In your head."

"That was pretty stupid of you to do."

"Between you and me, I prefer still having my head on my shoulders."

"This is getting annoying!"

"I've had it with you idiots!"

"I'm gonna celebrate with a Puppet head kebab once I'm done."

"I like the sounds of a sword slashing, and heads bashed in."

"Keep (talking/screaming), and I'll crack your skull open."

Hurt in battle:

"Ah! What the fuck!"

"You're gonna pay for that!"

"Eye for an eye, motherfucker!"

"I normally wouldn't mind... Actually, I always mind."

"When I'm done, you're gonna be unrecognizable."

"Fucking marionettes!"

"Useless scrap!"

"I really, really, REALLY wanna hurt you right about now."

"Ohohoho, you're picking the WRONG fight, BUDDY."

"Asshat!"

"Who do you think you are!?"

Dying:

"This... wasn't supposed to go this way..."

"God.... dammit."

"Agh... fuck."

"That... fucking... hurt."

"I still...! Got fight...! Left in me..."

"This... isn't... over..."

"I'm... not... done..."

[lgbtlunaverse]

This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry

Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.

It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.

We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.

He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.

But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.

And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry

Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.

When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.

It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.

Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.

(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)

It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.

And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)

But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?

To me, it looked like I had a choice.

See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.

So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?

And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!

Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.

So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.

Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.

I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.

[starrbright]

Repentance And Reward

Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu & Suna Rintaro

your bullies fucks you.

this was supposed to be just a drabble. 2.8 k

i settled this in a college setting. all my y/n are fat and of color.

if you've been here with me since day one, you'd figured it out i like it messy and sloppy. i am so serious when i say all my faves in haikyuu can spit in my mouth😔 i really made myself so horny while i was writing this.

inspired by @shaisuki, her piece of the trio being bullies.

honestly don't know if this counts as manipulation. spit kink hahahshahahah. thigh riding. handjobs. slight thigh fucking and blowjobs.

It's another day of the slight misery that weighs heavily between everything; being the manager of the inarizaki boys. Of course, the reasons being—the menace of all them, the Miyas and Suna.

Yesterday ended with you not being able to hold back anymore, pent up dejected frustrations bursting suddenly that allowed you to have the guts to at last put them in place somehow, at least. And despite they repented, and you of barely passing by for all their actions, you're still as rightly upset about it all.

They expected it. When they came in the gym for their morning training, the three arriving earlier than usual having talked about what to do with you—with the sight of you alone being there already and preparing all their necessities. Familiarized of their footsteps enough to know it's them, not even looking the doorway when they walked in, nor falter your focus of what you were doing, just simply ignoring them again.

It's cute. You think you can keep up against them.

You think you're the only one who has been penting up something. That it's only you who's gonna overflow and snap. What happened yesterday only gave them the push. Whether it'll only piss you off more or accept their apology, they don't care, after all--it'll be a win-win.

So there you are now being trapped by the trio once again, ignoring your protests when they spoke of making it up to you, if you could just go with them to the lockers. You have an idea of what they're imposing but trying to deny it in you.

Atsumu and Rintaro remains to bombard you as they pull on your arms, your body trapped between the two as they walk towards their intended direction. While the two always simply enjoy taunting you to a mess, Osamu doesn't want to waste time anymore, they only have an hour before anyone arrives more and a few minutes has passed by already.

"Osamu!" You gasped when you're suddenly as easily lifted off the ground by the said man, wrapping your arms around his neck in an immediate wary, looking up at him in disbelief. "Put me down," your voice lightly dragging in both plea and irritation.

Given, he doesn't listen. The snickers of the two echoes as they follow as Osamu keeps heading to the lockers.

"Come on, sweetheart. You want this, hmm?" There goes Atsumu with his mouth again, always putting words in your mouth—when you now find yourself locked with them, cramped between them like never as their hands begin to touch you everywhere.

You shake your head, keeping up with your protests, trying to push them away but it's only met by heavy and peering eyes, so much of their amusement and the lust. Strongly ignoring the tents they had in their shorts. But you could hardly deny yourself as well.

For once, you admit at least only to yourself, Atsumu is right about you.

"Why don't we just see it for ourselves and let her see it as well?" Rintaro said. Cupping your round cheeks between his one hand, stopping your useless complaints and the other pulled down on your pants, with the help of Atsumu.

"No," you let out weakly and barely as Rintaro keeps his fingers squished on your cheeks while your lush waist and panties are revealed. Hearing them muttering curses when they let your pants pooled on your feet, fat thighs there for them to feast.

"Rin—" before you could utter more, his hand has already dipped in your panties, looking dead in your eyes as he slides his palm further, cupping your mound, two of his fingers feeling how your cunt has been leaking a bit. Breath stopping in your throat and eyes threatening to flutter when his said two fingers began to rub your folds, feeling how your slick drips more. Your eyes stay on anything but their eyes, embarrassed; shy from how aroused you are as they remain eyeing you down.

Rintaro's smirk curls up more, "Aren't ya filthy?" he has the nerve to say and rub his thumb on your clit, eliciting a sudden whimper from you. To prove more of their point, he takes his hand back and shows it to you. Smugly parading his slicked digits, your eyes widening when he sucked them in his mouth, humming as he does. "She doesn't want this, nah." Says he, his untainted hand getting his phone from his jacket and began to record. Knowing all the best angles to catch with whatever goes next.

And what Atsumu says in haste after, they can't wait for. "Fuck, I wanna taste, too."

A pathetic sound barely tumbled from you as he dropped his knees on the floor, your panties yanked down, "Atsumu!" Your hands couldn't even make it in time to prevent his mouth from going to your cunt, forcing arms kept against the back of your thighs to spread you open as he laps on your mound.

The blonde loudly groans from your taste, his sounds rumbling within you and his tongue eagerly licking your cunt, your mere restraint slipping away completely. "Look at 'er," Osamu says, taking notice of every little reaction you have, his hand laying on your nape to turn you to him and sealed your mouth with his. Rintaro gliding his own on your neck sloppily as he takes off your jacket, shirt and bra. You whine even more when they begin to get raw with their thoughts aloud. "Her pussy tastes good, doesn't it, Tsumu?" Rintaro prods in between, his hand groping your breasts, and you, in a mess of not wanting to hear their crude words but so riled up from it. Your poor cheeks once again held by Osamu this time as he freed your mouth and made you look down to his twin.

Atsumu takes a moment to let your pussy breathe after he gave no mercy to it in giving you pleasure; slurping you up while he kept licking and sucking. Spitting on you a few times, even as parting your little hole to spit in you, your juices and his drool already such a mess that he's been drinking. "S'fucking great," Atsumu wildly rasps, mouth wide open and dribbling of the mess. The sight of his eyes you've never seen from anyone because of you. An insanity he knows he has on, with teeth and widened lips soaked, hearts in his pupils, swirls in his widened eyes.

Osamu rumbled a low laugh, squeezing your cheeks. "You've no idea how badly we wanted to do this to ya," he muttered on your ear, his tongue flicking so slowly there.

"Bet you thought about this, too." Rin chuckles, both he and Samu pressing their still clothed and hard cocks on each of your thighs. Your hands now held by the two and led you to palm them, heavy and full against their shorts. Their groans came with its ever teasing laughs as you let your fingers caressed them, hiding your face on Samu's neck, long given up to deny them, and yourself. "Good girl." Samu breathes, his mouth still on your ear.

They, as always cruelly, continue to taunt you of what you can't and won't escape from. "Just say the words, princess." Atsumu croons, back to petting your wet cunt with his thumb.

There you go giving in. You nod, filled with shame yet eagerly you do. "Yes...please..."

So, not a minute sooner, you're on top of Atsumu's right thigh, soaking him there of your leaking cunt, Osamu and Rintaro's cocks in both your hands, Atsumu fisting himself as he kisses you, his other hand on your thick hip and began to move you on him.

"This is so fucking hot, fuck." Rin cursed as he and Samu slowly fucks into your hands and of you meeting their thrusts, his recording still going, your left breast being slapped by him and the other heavily kneaded by Samu.

The view showing most of you, your naked breasts to your ample belly dripping of sweat and their spits from all the sloppy kisses they gave you. Atsumu's thigh with a little paddle of your slick. "Move, baby doll." Atsumu demands as he stopped kissing you, guiding you to grind on his thigh more, making your hands tighten and tremble against their cocks and the two hiss even more.

You follow, with you not allowing too much of your sounds leave you as you fuck your pussy on his thigh, still trying to ignore the shame drowning you. It's nothing but adorable to them as you keep that wall up, still wanting to avoid their eyes.

"Still so shy, huh?" Atsumu exposes your readable thoughts, a grin stitched aside on him, and then your cheeks were once held again, locking your gaze on him.

"Nothin' to be embarrassed about, love." Osamu says. He's not lying but he wouldn't lie as well that sight of you so little while they're whoring you out—makes his cock want to pound your cunt endlessly.

Of course, there's Rin. "There is if she's being such a slut right now for us, hmm?" He laughs, then licking up a thick stripe on his left fingers and smeared it on your nipple as he toys with it.

You're wordless against theirs. What could you even say to them? Complain? While you're pleasuring your cunt by riding the star setter of the team's thigh, his damn glorious thighs. Pressure so fucking good in your sex. Your hands obediently pleasing two cocks. Parts of your body already leaving marks from their hands of slapping your tits, nipples pulled and pinched, your ass spanked, digging on your thighs, gripping your arms, groping your belly, from their nails driving amidst in all of it. Their spits mixed in your mouth from their kisses, that drips down on you so warm.

"Ya like this," Samu says the obvious for you and you could only gnaw your lips at that, bearing to hold Atsumu's gaze as you keep your pace. "Say it for us, doll." the man begins to use his hold over you, his blonde twin's smug but nonchalant face breaks into a grin seeing how Samu's effect on you, fucking his on his hand cock a bit faster.

Everything is so damn good. "Like this...I like it...so much." You utter in whimpers. "All feels good," you barely mumble and they swear, they almost let themselves cum from that alone.

"Fuck." Rin laughs so breathlessly, a groan catching in his throat from it, gripping his phone harder as his hold on it began to shake. The twins just held their reactions but no better.

Wanting the four of you to finish all the same time, Samu poses a push that'll do it. "C'mere," he murmurs, his hand on your chin and turned you to him. "Don't swallow until they've all spit." he ordered before he opened your mouth and let his tongue hover above yours. A thick glob of his saliva slowly dropping to your tongue, resulting a loud moan from you, your eyes rolling back, his grip that was now on your neck squeezed tight.

"Shit. Holy fuck." Atsumu groans when he sees it all. Rin as well, "Fucking hell."

Then Atsumu was more than eager to follow next, though carefully getting your head to him so as for you to not waste Samu's spit. There he let his spit fall on your puddled tongue, a few drops slowly beginning to drip on your lips from how much they gave you.

You couldn't wait to swallow it all, now it was Rin. And he was glad he's last because he gets to do what he does. His tongue lolled out and his spit trickles down to yours into thick drops from how much he gathered.

Just so to please them more, instead of just closing your mouth and immediately swallowing—you slowly rolled your tongue up and back in, giving them a glimpse of how their spits dripped down to your throat and whimpered when you do swallow, your paces faltering but theirs in a fast rhythm. "You're such a good slut." Rin pressed tightly, lightly slapping his fingers on your cheek.

All of you so close. "Fuck, come on, doll, faster." Atsumu grunted and you heed again, catching back your rhythm, fast, both for your pussy and the two cocks on your hands.

"Just like that, princess." Osamu says, gripping on your right breast so hard. It's no half a minute when you've all let yourselves let go for your peaks to immediately rise; dogs in heats of your movements, panting so loud, your grip on their cocks tight and desperate as is your thighs on Atsumu to keep on pushing your cunt to its end, Atsumu thinks he could never go back to watching porns when jacking himself off when he could have a live show.

"Close?" Osamu calls to you when he takes your face to him again and kissed you. You nod immediately, eyes given up and just closed as you keep kissing, your hips doing its best to finally take the edge off.

And at last you do after a moment more, whining loudly when you came and had you shuddering greatly—still even when you stilled your hands on their cocks, threatening them to cum right then and there, they held back, Atsumu as well. Savoring the sight of your end for a moment but not long enough to let your high down.

"On your knees, love." Osamu says, though they know you could barely comply, your body already on clouds, so Atsumu does it for you. In a hurry but still as gentle to getting you off of him and you tried to get on your knees. "Open wide."

Fuck, what they were going to do was better than their spits. Your mouth opens wide and tongue laid out, hazy eyes tired looking up at them, seeing their cocks near your mouth as they fist themselves.

Then they came one after another, their three cocks huddled close to your face but making sure no drop is wasted as their cum spilled straight to your mouth. They groan of curses with the heat flooding them as they finally released, the sight of their thick and hot cum flood on your tongue. Swallowing it all in so much of delight.

You're slumped on your knees, heaving for breaths, eyes in a feathery state. Shame long numb in you despite still there. And how could you even feel it still when you just keep seeing hearts in their eyes? You were sure your own pupils were beginning to whirl its own hearts.

So you weren't surprised when they went for another. Making most of the remaining time and they haven't had enough. They couldn't. Osamu having you on his lap as he fucked your thighs, your pillowy flesh suffocating his cock so good and while rubbing against your wet pussy. As you suck off Atsumu and Rintaro at the same time, switching from giving them a handjob to let them fuck your mouth in between. The ending once again, them cumming in your mouth. No happening left unrecorded. They had you good.

But more of them by you.

Why else Atsumu had taken your bag from the bleachers when they took you to the lockers? Cleaned you up good after with your things. Eased your used body with their skilled hands. Dressed you back up neatly in your uniform. That they're the only ones who cleaned up any mess and didn't let you to even help a little.

.

.

.

When you opened the door and took a step aside, you flinched at the sudden sight of two figures. Kita and Aran.

You could only stand there frozen as they near, having left no choice but to let the inevitable be. The three now walking out as well. You don't need to look at them to know they're unfazed. Normally smug, more so with what just happened.

"Y/N." Kita nods to you, his calm look remaining even as he eyes the three besides you.

Your look as you stare at the captain is deeply apologetic, despite you want to laugh to yourself as you see the sheer knowing look of Aran and the want of the ground to just take you. "I'm so sorry." You mouthed to Kita.

Bless his heart, he only tuts his head as he merely gestures it's alright and you could go. And you do, covering your mouth in disbelief, mirth and shame as you walk away from them and back to the bleachers when you hear the captain's words to the three. "The next time you do this again, don't do it here."

[54625]

With the upcoming Fit lore later today, I figured it may be useful to transcribe his earlier lore drops for those of you who may not have been there, or want a refresher. These were attempts to contact the contractor to relay information, and happened before the dreams.

-First attempt-

(Text appears on screen.

CONNECTING...

BYPASSING FEDERATION FIREWALL

ATTEMPT FAILED

ERROR)

Fit- Hello, it's me.

Fit- Sorry I've been taking my sweet time.

Fit- I've been busy...

Fit- We need to pivot from our original plan.

Fit- I've adopted a son, and I've been caring for him.

Fit- I've grown attached to him, so he's been my priority.

Fit- Being a single dad is a challenge at times.

Fit- But it's much easier than the nomadic lifestyle.

Fit- Life here is very different from the wasteland.

Fit- But I haven't forgotten our agreement.

Fit- I will fullfil my contractual obligations.

Fit- They're still falling for the whole "vacation" thing.

Fit- I ask that you be patient though, as we have a problem.

Fit- Something called "The Federation" controls this entire island.

Fit- They've been keeping us here.

Fit- As long as they are in the way, I can't access what you are looking for.

Fit- And the anti-cheat on the island is strong.

Fit- I haven't been able to use my abilities.

Fit- The Federation must be eliminated for this to succeed.

Fit- I've gained everyone's trust and made friends...

Fit- I've been helping their fight against the Federation in order to advance our plan.

Fit- Still... It hurts me to see everyone suffering...

Fit- Some have lost things they cared about...

Fit- But this struggle is an unfortunate necessity...

Fit- The conflict is increasing the value of what you seek...

Fit- I know you're paying me...

Fit- But have you considered......

...the true cost?

Fit- regardless of my personal feelings, I'll slowly move the plan forward.

Fit- I hope you find what you're looking for.*

Fit- It's getting late...*

MESSAGE FAILED TO SEND

Disconnecting....

*(it is worth noting that these are messages Fit had previously sent in the Minecraft global chat in that odd font.)

-Second attempt-

(Text appears on screen.

CONNECTING...

BYPASSING FEDERATION FIREWALL)

Fit- Checking in.

Fit- I am messaging you again to keep you updated on my progress.

Fit- The Federation still has full control of the island.

Fit- They've been putting on some strange election....

Fit- I'm assuming to keep everyone occupied.

Fit- However, it seems they've let a vulnerability slip.

Fit- Player data and statistics are being tracked.

Fit- The Federation must have this data stored somewhere on the island.

Fit- If I had to guess, it's likely the computer system of the Federation offices.

Fit- If I tried to break in and access the data, they would likely capture me...

Fit- It would not end well.

Fit- However, whoever wins this election will likely have open access.

Fit- Perhaps they could be persuaded... Or tricked into giving us access.

Fit- I will fullfil the contract.

Fit- And yet... I'm starting to wonder....

Fit- What are you actually trying to achieve?

Fit- Even if I can access the data, what good would it do?

Fit- I'm skeptical, but I hope to hear from you soon........

(This island...... Is worse than I thought....)

(Text appears on screen.

Windows XP

Task failed successfully.

[OK] )

(A cinematic showing various scenes from QSMP and 2B2T play. All the images from the former are in full colour, while all the images from the latter are in black and white. A video of a capybara eating grass plays. It is in black and white.)

If I left anything particularly important out, let me know!

[furiousgoldfish]

Ways abusive parents try to separate you from your human rights:

They threaten to call the police on you if you don't obey them

They threaten you with jail-time and insist that the police will take you away for disobedience

They actually call the police, or emergency services, to create consequences for disobedience

They threaten to 'give you away' to groups of people they deem 'worse' than themselves

They threaten that you'll be kidnapped and sold if you don't obey them

They threaten for you to be put in a home

They threaten you with inhumane living conditions in a home (you won't have you room, you won't have anything, they'll beat you up ever day, etc)

They threaten to institutionalize you if you don't do as they say

They threaten to put you in a mental hospital/psych ward/asylum

They threaten you with court, institutions and government

They convince you that every institution, social service, law enforcement, or any other organized group of people is on their side, and against you, and would fight on their side and enforce their rule over you

They act as if disobeying them is against the law/religion

They insist that nobody will ever want to hire you or pay you a salary

They imply or outright say that it's a waste of space if you were renting out a place or had a place of your own, you do not have the right to occupy your own space in their eyes

They take away your necessities if you disobey them (food, ability to use the bathroom, clothing)

They destroy your property as a form of revenge, and insist it never belonged to you and that they had every right to destroy it

They make sure you're not exposed to educational materials that would inform you that you have a right to safety, food, shelter, and protection from violence and threats

They fight very hard to convince you that what they're doing to you is NOT abuse (saying things like 'you don't even KNOW what abuse is, or 'I'll show you abuse'), and they make sure you're not exposed to any resources or education that would help you recognize abuse

Punishments for standing up for yourself or any attempts to reach justice or point out how unfair, inescapable, hypocritical and painful your situation is

Not allowing you to speak, punishing you for talking back, convincing you that you have no voice and you have no right to defend yourself in any measure

Exposing you to media or real-life situations where children are abused just as badly, or worse than you are, this is a part of grooming they do to convince you that child abuse is normal, acceptable behaviour and not abuse at all

Suggesting that they could do all this to you, and even outright threatening it, implying strongly they know they can get away with it, since others can

Convince you that everyone else has it worse, and repeat how lucky you actually are to have them

They list all of the things that would be happening to you if they weren't so kind to you (you'd be starving on the street, be kidnapped/sold/tortured, die from lack of resources, be abandoned, not survive in any possible way)

Convince you that you're not, in fact, a human being and thus have no business expecting human rights (brainwashing, calling you animal names, calling you demon/satan/monster)

Accuse you repeatedly of being a financial burden, shame you for costing money, demand credit/favours/services/labour/obedience in return for giving you survival resources like food and clothing and school supplies

Neglect to inform you that government is giving them a tax-break for every kid they're supporting and that the society is built so that children would be financially taken care of and do not need to earn their food, shelter or basic necessities

Scare you into believing that every other authority figure (teachers, boss, police, judge, authorities) would treat you even worse and would demand even a higher degree of obedience and submission from you, threaten you with how badly the interaction would go for you if you were to stand up to any other authority figure

Insist that if you were to act with this level of spite, refusal, rejection or disrespect to any other person, they would simply snap and kill you (implied death threat – you're lucky that I'm not ending your life right now)

Act like they own you, to the degree that they feel they have every right to end your life and would not be arrested or blamed if they were to kill you, since you're just their property

Add more if you have lived through other experiences that left you feeling like you had no protection, no rights in the eyes of the law, and no way to recognize your humans rights are being violated. Even one single item on this list means your human rights were kept from you.

[freebooter4ever]

ok i've been taking a break for the past half hour and doing research on the pens locker room, trying to figure out how i wanted to design my own version of geno's 'stall' (is that what it's called?). i love the circular shape it feels very king arthur

first, there isn't a lot of internet documented history on the various eras of the locker room design??? which seems sad

don't get me wrong the latest iteration is pretty epic but as far is i can tell, it hasn't changed much since at least 2013? i do not envy whoever is cleaning this place. thats a lot of sweat over the years.

second, im enjoying seeing little details that i had no idea existed, being a new fan and all. like the puck wins count???? crazy. these guys have a visual representation of how they're doing in the season right up there on the wall glaring judgmentally at them? im so glad im not in sports. i would not survive.

especially when the HISTORY of these pucks is on the walls.....like damn. talk about pressure. anyway 2011-2012 thats one of geno's best seasons right? :)

this is what I wanted. mesh, hooks, I need to figure out how i want to make this look cool.

i find it really funny and endearing that the thing these guys do to relax in down time is a playful version of their own job....

also im not sure about this like:

are they assigned a razor??? you get traded to the penguins and suddenly you're not allowed to use your fancy expensive specialized razor? is this a normal thing in hockey????? do they have group shaves for special events like the playoffs? hockey players are fascinating.

i dont know why but i never considered that the pens have actual lockers in addition to the little seats in the main locker room. this makes total sense. i dont know where i thought their clothes and stuff went. just disappeared into the ether i guess.

anyway definitely a necessity, the hot tub. it looks a little sad and lonely in this photo. it needs a hockey player in it.

racks and racks of gear???? again this makes total sense but never occurred to me. also maybe helps explain why geno likes to switch up gloves, look at all them, damn. i do wonder about helmets still - geno's looks so unique and he's been using the same design since at least 2009.

ok im guessing this is an away locker room and i have only one question: do they bring a little 'logo' carpet to roll out every time they go on the road? thats amazing.

if you read all that, nice! here's a shot of geno with his jock out:

very important locker room research. bonus the earliest pens locker room photo of geno i could find:

shy beautiful boy ^_^ (also he looks so young and vulnerable its hard to believe that even back in 2008/2009 he already had so much responsibility with so many grown adults making demands on his entire career)(like he went through all that AND is still playing in the league with three cups under his belt? thats fucking awesome)

[exceptionimagines]

Lying In Wait

(Not my gif)

(Changing the meeting scenario yet again so enjoy this little post that contains the old one: not the one where you have a boyfriend.)

- Have you ever seen a hawk in person? Not in a zoo or an aviary: somewhere where they're caged and confined to one area, stripped of the necessity to act according to nature. No, I mean seeing one completely out in the wild, being in the woods or even your own backyard when it just suddenly ...appears.

- Because that's what they do. They simply appear. If you live in an area where they're common, where they typically frequent, you learn what to look out for, what the tell-tale signs of their presence are. You don't hear them, but you do hear what comes in preparation of them: the utter silence of everything around you. One minute the sparrows are chittering noisily, and the next they're dead silent; like they can feel them in the wind.

- It creates a tangible feeling. A pin prickling sensation that tells you that, regardless of whether or not you are bigger or stronger than them, there is something out there in the wild, watching, and waiting and hunting. If you look hard enough, you might just find them, but it won't be before they've found you: their piercing eyes immediately pinning you down in place. There's something about their gaze that's chilling: beautiful, and wild, and calculated; almost to a point that's beyond your understanding.

- That's what it feels like when you meet Jerry Dandridge for the first time. Like you're locked in the gaze of something predatory: something foreign and dangerous. Something that is simply lying in wait, lingering in plain sight until the perfect moment to strike.

- It's why you're baffled when all of your neighbors are seemingly charmed by him: having nothing to say but good things whenever he comes up in conversation. You're not denying the fact that he's an attractive man, anyone with eyes will quickly realize that he's closer to a model than a regular person, but you're somewhat unnerved by the fact that no one else seems to notice how ...odd he is.

- Admittedly, when you first began avoiding him, it was entirely because he was so attractive. You're a reserved person, someone who typically keeps to themselves and the thought of approaching the statuesque figure of your newest neighbor; of attempting to endure an entire conversation without making a fool of yourself, is daunting, to say the least. Forget about letting him into your home and entertaining him one on one....

- But it was because of your avoidance that Jerry began to take an interest in you. Everyone else in your quiet suburb had welcomed him with open arms, making it all too easy to gain access to them and their homes, but nothing he did seemed to convince you to trust him; to convince you to let him inside. He isn't used to having to try so hard; especially not with someone who fits his main demographic, so he finds himself determined to wear you down; while also trying to figure you out in the process.

- You'll find yourself being pulled into conversations with him, being interrupted with knocks on your door early in the night or with offers of assistance whenever you seemingly need it. You rarely indulge him by accepting but it doesn't deter him from trying again another day, embarrassing you with all of the attention and the special treatment.

- Anyone who witnesses his actions will smile at you "knowingly", tease you about how Jerry's seemingly taken a liking to you and how lucky you are because of it. They look at you with envy; eyes blazing when he excuses himself from them in favor of approaching you, but their envy makes them oblivious, makes them blind to your discomfort.

- You don't understand why he's so intent on getting to know you, why it seems to matter so much to him that he has your approval and that you consider him a friend. There's something so ...artificial about it. About the way that he smiles and tries to connect with you, like his actions are a means to an end rather than a genuine desire for connection. And the longer his attempts to draw you in continue, the stranger he begins to behave....

- As smart as Jerry is, when it comes to you, he sort of creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you refuse his bids for connection; the longer you treat him like the wolf in sheep's clothing that he is, the more frustrated and certain that he becomes: certain that you're onto him and that you've somehow realized that there is something inherently wrong with him.

- It's the frustration that makes him sloppy. The impatience that he feels when continuously being denied access to you. The carefully constructed facade begins to slip, and the atmosphere begins to change. He grows desperate and that desperation is palpable.

- He sorts through every trick in his book, hopping erratically from one thing to another, hoping that something sticks and makes you finally take to him like everyone else. He's scrambling to get you to trust him, to want him, to reach out to him, but nothing seems to be working, not like it usually does. Which only makes him want you even more.

- There's a thrill in the hunt, in being found out and sensing the fear that fills his prey once they finally realize what they're dealing with. It's a game of cat and mouse, one that he always ends up winning, and the anticipation of it is both infuriating and intoxicating. He deems you a worthy opponent and that's part of what keeps you alive. He needs a chance to stake you out, to try and figure out exactly how much you know, and how dangerous a little thing like you can be; not that he genuinely thinks that you could ever beat him.

- A part of him is intrigued by the fact that you've figured him out so quickly: that you sniffed him out from the get-go; never once faltering in your distrust. Your neighbors assure him that you're just shy, but your eyes hold the truth: the shifting discomfort that he's used to seeing when he starts picking off residents one by one.

- At first he finds your avoidance alluring. You're his perfect victim: someone who isolates themselves; unused to attention and affection. He works best with people who are crying out for something more, people who are different and yearning for someone to understand. People who are vulnerable and easy to forget about.

- But then you just don't break. You continue to keep your walls up and remain unobtainable, and it's so ...different. Frustrating, of course, but different, and different is exciting.

- Admittedly, you find him exciting as well. The attention is initially quite flattering, and though you try not to read too far into it, it feels nice to be noticed; especially by an attractive man like himself. Though, the more he notices you, the more you start feeling like he's actually kind of a creep. You're gearing more towards sex offender than creature of the night, of course; maybe a serial killer Ted Bundy style, but it's his unusual strangeness that gives you pause.

- Boundaries aren't usually in the vocabulary of men like him, so it surprises you when he refuses to enter your home, seemingly itching for you to let him in; straining against the door frame, yet never crossing the threshold himself. ...And that's just the start of it....

- It takes you a little while to realize it, to figure out why the hairs on the backs of your arms start to stand up at random, skin crawling with sudden anxiety. When you finally do, it's because you've realized that the animals of your home have become palpably tense, perfectly still and quiet for no reason, like there's something there that bothers them. But there's nothing, nothing at all and you coo at them in confusion, trying to get them to relax ...until the doorbell suddenly rings...

- Jerry materializes out of nowhere, gone one moment and right next to you the next; stepping just that tad bit too close whenever no ones around to see it. He never appears in the daylight, and it's not the whole "I work nights" thing either. He doesn't leave his house during the day, sure, but he does leave it in the evening, yet only when there's cloud cover; when the sun is low enough in the sky that you can't see it over the houses or feel the warmth of it's presence. It all makes you start to wonder....

- You feel ridiculous claiming that your neighbor is a vampire; even when it's only spoken to yourself. You feel ridiculous doing your research, of being afraid of the dark like a little kid, thinking about all of the monsters that go bump in the night. You resent the fact that you're scared of the setting sun, that you're scared of braving just a few steps outside your door, that you've developed a habit of going over all your belongings twice just to ensure that you haven't forgotten anything before going in for the night.

- Oh god, your phone.

- Your phone that's sitting in the center console of your car, plugged in and charging since you drained the battery at work; not sitting nicely in your bag as per usual. It has your work schedule, it has your alarm, it has a handful of other important things that you need before you go to bed, but it's already dark out: dark and quiet and completely abandoned. You contemplate if you really need it, then you curse yourself for being so stupid. The answer is yes, yes you really need it, so you scope out the area and hype yourself up, walking on two nervous legs as you quickly make your way over to your car.

- Your phone is right where you left it and you quickly grab it, moving to shut your car door before you happen a glance up and immediately still in place, noticing a figure standing in the distance. You think to run back to your front door as quickly as possible but you just can't do it. You're not sure which outcome will be better for you. When you're alone in a dark forest, unsure of what is out there and how hostile it might be, do you call out for help or do you remain silent?

- You stay perfectly still, eyes locked on the dripping red that's stained across Jerry's mouth, being hurriedly wiped from his lips as he begins walking away from the car that he just came from. It only takes him a moment to sense your presence and he doesn't even do you the justice of pretending to look around, of pretending he doesn't immediately know exactly where you are, his eyes locking on your figure as he begins to come to a stop.

- He watches you intently, reading your expression as you simply stand and stare, frozen in place as he tilts his head and starts to smirk. The expression makes your stomach drop, the satisfaction in it, the vagueness of it's cause. He begins walking towards you, and the idea of running crosses your mind yet again. Yet your legs no longer listen to the pleas, completely immobile, weak and quivering as he stops a few feet away from you, studying you as you stand there stupidly, clutching your oh so important phone in hand.

"You're not usually out this late," He comments and it takes you a moment to respond, to will your tongue to move and your lips to purse and press and open. "I would know."

"I forgot...I forgot my phone." You finally answer, swallowing thickly as Jerry merely continues to smile. He knows that he has you right where he wants you; even you know that: that you're cornered and helpless, and that nothing you do will change that.

- He closes the distance and you tense even further, close to trembling as he leans in and nearly brushes against you, gently closing your car door and leaning against it as he inhales deeply. He studies your face up close, taking in every nervous tick and twitch and freckle. And then he finally speaks....

"You better get to bed." He tells you, and it takes you a while to process what he's saying. It only makes him smile wider, watching you buffer in response to his comment.

- You know he's telling you to start walking to your door, and all you can think is that this is it: that you'll turn your back and he'll pounce. But it's all you have left to do, to buckle up and endure it, to knowingly take the walk towards nothingness and face it head on. You swallow hard as you turn away from him, screwing your eyes together tightly and willing yourself to accept it.

- Every second ticks by agonizingly slowly once you begin the trek to your door. You wait to feel him grab you, to sink his teeth into your flesh at any minute and tear you from this Earth in one fell swoop. But when you get to your door without an issue, you happen a glance behind you and find him gone. You go inside safe and sound, collapsing to the ground and panting wildly as you try to calm yourself, clutching your phone so tightly that you're surprised it doesn't break.

- It is now, without a fraction of a doubt, that you realize that Jerry is a vampire: the tragedy of this being that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You and Jerry both know that this is the case, that you're powerless to stop him, and that nothing you can do will give you any sort of leverage against him. If you tell anyone, they'll think you're crazy. If you attempt to arm yourself, you risk the chance of endangering yourself even further with faulty stereotypes. You're all alone in this, and you haven't the slightest idea of what to do, if there even is anything for you to do.

- Waiting. That's what you're forced to resort to. Sitting and waiting for the moment to come when Jerry finally decides to deal with you; to resolve the stand still that the two of you have recently come to....

- He seems to find it all very satisfying: watching you try and anticipate his actions; squirming under his gaze with both fear and the urge to act out. He takes pleasure in provoking you, in reminding you of your shared secret and the obliviousness of the people around you: smiling at you mockingly and trying to spur you into doing or saying something in front of your mutual neighbors that will make you seem like the crazy one. A reminder that no matter what you do, no matter what the truth is, you'll never be able to warn or convince anyone, and you'll never be able to save them from him....

- Unluckily for you, or perhaps luckily, Jerry finds your scent intoxicating: it's a big part of what keeps you alive for so long. He wants to play with you, to make the most of your time together and to indulge in the exquisite aroma of your fear. Though it isn't just your fear that attracts him. Soon, everything about you becomes intoxicating, and it leads to a small obsession: one that causes him to grow bolder and more bothersome than ever....

- It's this emboldened behavior that causes you to confront him and subsequently jumpstart your future relationship.

- You've tried keeping your family away from you for as long as possible, not wanting to risk their safety by having them come over to your home and potentially run into your vampiric neighbor. But at some point, your excuses stop working and you find yourself being ambushed with a visit, one you try your hardest to end before the sun begins to set. Unfortunately for you, it doesn't end up happening, and as you gather the last of your mothers things, you hear her begin to converse with someone outside.

- You rush out into your front lawn and feel your anger surge as you catch your mother laughing and talking to the man that you so desperately wanted her to avoid. You usher her to her car as quickly as possible, blood boiling as they continue to call out pleasantries to one another. She teases you about your attractive neighbor as she sits behind the wheel, urging you to shoot your shot before she sends him one last wave and a wink, driving out of your neighborhood as you stand there and seethe.

"What was that?" You growl at him, quickly closing in on the man as he simply smiles at you. You're furious, furious that he spoke to her, that he purposefully left his home to make sure that the two of them met.

"I think that was your mothers attempt at getting us together. I have to admit, I have thought about it myself-" He replies teasingly before you interrupt him.

"What do you want from me?" You growl, pushing at his chest and forcing him backwards. You're so fed up, so caught up in the high wired emotions that have built and built for the past few weeks that you don't even care about the consequences anymore. If you were more relaxed, you probably would have been surprised by how easily he went along with you, how he let you act as you as though you even held a candle to his strength.

"Easy." He breathes at you, chuckling with amusement as he takes in your anger, his teeth glinting in the low light of the evening.

"What do you want from me?" You seethe, hands gripping tightly to his shirt sleeves as you hold him against your garden gate.

"What do you think I want?" He smiles, hands coming up to tease at your flesh, returning your touch as he catches your arms and steadies both of your positions. His eyes twinkle, as if he's enjoying this entire thing.

"I don't care about what your plans for me are. I don't care if you want to sit around like a creep and torment me: ring my doorbell at all hours of the night and stand in my garden like Michael Myers. I mean it, I don't care. Just stay the hell away from my family. They have nothing to do with this." You hiss, disregarding the way he raises his eyebrows at your choices of words and the way that he licks his lips, entertained by your ferocious display.

- You pull away from him, arms jerking angrily from his grasp before you're immediately pulled right back in. It's only then that the severity of your actions begin to dawn on you: the swiftness of his grasp shocking you; the strength of it making it increasingly obvious that he let you move him and not that you managed it on your own.

"You know. I really think we got off on the wrong foot," He says with a smile, almost joking in his delivery of the line. He furrows his brows when he begins speaking again, nodding at you as if to implore you to agree. "I think this has gone on long enough, don't you think?"

- The words send a chill down your spine, and you watch as he breathes in deeply, inhaling the air around you before he shivers, pulling you closer as you struggle against him, trying to squirm away. You tense as he leans in, sniffing along the column of your throat as you remain momentarily paralyzed. He ends it with a flourish, faltering inches from your lips, close enough that you feel as though he's about to kiss you, his breath hitting your face.

- You catch his blackened eyes, catch a glimpse of his growing teeth, and your brain seems to finally catch up with you, realizing what's about to happen just in time for you to do something about it. He opens his mouth in preparation just as you fish the crucifix out of your pocket and shove it against his cheek. He quickly whips his head away, momentarily releasing you as he hisses, the holy metal searing into his skin and giving you enough of a distraction to get away.

- He wants to go after you immediately, but he's quickly drawn to the sound of a neighbor who's leaving their house: one who's just seen what's happened and is standing paralyzed in shock at the sight of "charming" Jerry who's just seemingly assaulted you. He turns to the man as he clutches his cheek, smiling at him as he tries to play it cool.

"Lovers quarrel." He jokes, but he can immediately see that the man doesn't believe him. He quickly heads over to your door, watching as they hurriedly go inside their own home and undoubtedly begin to tell their wife what they've seen. He knows that he can't get away with disposing of Mr. Brenner and his family, that the town will quickly notice and that it will compromise his cover, so the only choice he has left is to use you.

"Y/n, we need to talk," He knocks on your door, speaking quietly through the wood; knowing that you're able to hear him even though you don't respond. "You're a smart girl, y/n, and I'm not just saying that. It isn't easy to get away from me so consider me impressed."

"Since you're a smart girl, I want to make a deal with you. You go over to the Brenner's house, you tell them that we had a little argument and that everything is fine, that it was a misunderstanding between boyfriend and girlfriend, ...and you'll save yours and that entire family's lives. All you have to do is play along. And I think that's better than the alternative, don't you?" Well you don't have much of a choice, now do you?

- You slowly open the door, peering at him warily as you do your best to pull yourself together. He smiles at you, praising you for making the better decision as you step outside and begin walking across the street. You knock on the Brenner's door, forcing a smile onto your face as the older man answers. Once he see's that its you, he asks if you're alright, visibly becoming relieved when you assure him that you are.

- You do your best to act a bit embarrassed as you explain the story that you've been told to give to him: telling him that you and Jerry had a bit of a fight, that you're actually kind of seeing each other, and that things just got a little heated. You apologize for scaring him and the fact that he had to see all of that, sharing a laugh as he insists that it's fine and that he was just worried you were in danger. You both say goodnight and you make your way back to Jerry who's standing on your porch.

"Aren't you gonna invite me in?" He asks, glancing over to Mr. Brenner who's watching you through his window, seemingly still a bit suspicious. You hesitate, not thinking that allowing him access to your safe space would ever be a part of the deal.

"Of course." You insist phonily, smiling at him as though your stomach isn't completely in knots, opening your door and letting him enter your home for the first time since meeting him....

- Now that you're "officially" a couple, you're forced to act along whenever you're in front of your neighbors. You're forced to pretend as though nothing is wrong as Jerry pulls you into him, kissing and cuddling you in order to make this act of yours convincing. You don't think it's as much of a burden to him as it is to you. Frankly, you think he actually enjoys it.

- A lot of the time, he acts as though this arrangement of yours is more than that: that you're genuinely a couple or; at the very least, that he isn't forcing your hand. You find yourself beginning to struggle when trying to differentiate between all of your feelings for Jerry: where your obligation to him ends and your genuine attraction to him begins.

- Jerry is naturally magnetic. His presence is erosive, stripping you down to your weakest state and jumbling your nerves. There's a fine line between hunger and lust, and Jerry's personality embodies this line; creating this palpable desire that burns you up on the inside. You hate that he has an effect on you, but you cannot deny that it is there, and that very fact keeps you up at night.

- One evening, you get a knock on your door and when you open it, you're met with the Brenner's eldest son. He's hushed when he tells you that he knows what's going on with Jerry, that he knows you're not a couple, and that the two of you can work together to stop him. You want so badly to divulge everything, to grasp onto your only current ally and finally admit the truth that you've had to keep secret for so long. But you can't.

- You look at him, look at his baby fat and his nervous eyes, at the promise of a future that's written all over his face. You look at him and you lie. You tell him that you know what things may look like but that it's not really the case. That you believed it for a minute there too, but that Jerry isn't anything and that you're in a happy relationship with him.

- He tries to insist that he knows the truth, to tell you that you don't have to be afraid, but you simply shake your head; giving him a reassuring smile as you tell him to believe you: hoping that you're either convincing him or that your behavior is enough to make him comprehend the danger that's at hand. You see the look in his eyes before you feel Jerry behind you.

"Talking about me?" He asks, voice lighthearted and teasing but you're smart enough to sense the edge.

"Just clearing things up." You tell him, smiling back at him and towards the boy standing on your front step.

"Good, good. ...Have a goodnight Daniel." He tells him before closing the door around you, caging you with his body.

"You've really gotten good at all of this, y/n. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you liked having me around." He tells you, cupping the back of your neck as you turn towards him, smiling down at you reassuringly, almost affectionately. "Why don't we go watch something, hmm?"

- You're beginning to come to terms with the fact that this is your fate. That in the process of saving your life, you've subsequently surrendered ownership of it, and that this ownership was handed over to him. That there is no getting rid of Jerry Dandridge and that you'll be forced to stay by his side until he decides otherwise.

- The thing is, you're also beginning to find yourself concerningly okay with that....

[crossdressingdeath]

I finally figured out why Vivienne rubs me the wrong way. To paraphrase she is a lottery winner telling the underpaid workers that capitalism works.

As throughout the Dragon Age series we see how circle fails mages (In Orgins there is books about blood magic in hopes of catching desperate mage in the act of a crime, Awakenings the templars setting a entrapment for Anders despite being a grey warden and then there is Kirkwall).

Then in the game in which mage independence is a big issue our only circle mage perspection that is a main character is Vivienne who is fine with the current system. As Vivienne will tell us the player that while the system has flaws overall is fine. Which is really ridiculous considering the last game.

What Dragon Age Inquisition needed was a Kirkwall mage who saw the worst of the circles to be a counter argument that the circles are flawed

And what I mean by Vivienne being a lottery winner is that her position is almost a miracle. As while a young mage in the circle she had to be powerful enough to be allowed to do her harrowing but also not too powerful to make the templars afraid (as I believe it is implied that mages that are too powerful are nipped in the bud in Orgins), then in a party she is charming enough that a noble takes a fancy to her which then allows her to charm the Empress and gain political power.

All of these aspects feels like sheer luck. So when Vivienne tells me the circle works I want to eat my face in frustration as I remember Jowan and Anders and Hawke's parents desperately trying not to be in the circle.

(Sorry for the rant)

I think Vivienne is ultimately a very notable victim of a lot of DAI's poor writing choices. Both in terms of character writing and in terms of the overall themes.

See, DAI doesn't want us to get any perspective that doesn't prop up the Circle and the Chantry. It doesn't want us questioning the necessity of either institution. It's not just Vivienne; think back on the mage characters we see in DAI, the ones that aren't in the Circle mostly just don't talk about it. Not even Quiz, and if Quiz tries to argue that the Circles aren't great the Circle mages go "Well you're wrong because it was great for me" and Quiz isn't allowed to say anything back. See also Minaeve going "Well the Dalish are shit and the Circle is great because the Dalish threw me away and the Templars rescued me and that doesn't contradict anything in the preexisting lore and also it definitely doesn't say anything about the Chantry that my clan couldn't support an additional mage in their life on the run and also I'm just going to blindly assume the Tempalrs were telling the truth" while Lavellan is forced to just stand there, smiling and nodding and not arguing back at all even though they logically would. DAI needed a counterargument to the "Circles are good" argument, it needed a character who'd seen the worst they had to offer, but we were never going to get that because DAI didn't want it to be a debate. It wants us to blindly agree that the Circles are good and mages wanting freedom is bad. Which is a wildly stupid decision but someone made it anyway!

DAI also does not like character growth. Not in the slightest. The most DAI's companions get is their character growth popping in all at once in Trespasser after a full game of them being completely static. Just like how Sera refuses to acknowledge how awful she's being to Lavellan until Trespasser where she suddenly asks how they're feeling about the Evanuris stuff without using it to make them feel like there's something wrong with them for having non-Andrastian beliefs or how Dorian defends slavery and then that's quietly never acknowledged again until he mentions in Tevinter Nights that "someone he met in the south" changed his mind on the subject or how Cullen... is Cullen, you're never allowed to challenge Vivienne on her beliefs because if you did that then she might change and grow as a person and DAI does not want to deal with that. Especially not when challenging Vivienne means challenging the argument that the Circles are The Best Option. Poor Vivienne gets hit hard by DAI's refusal to accept that the Chantry's bad and the fandom does not want to side with them, she's probably the single biggest piece of collateral damage to DAI's bad choices.

And the thing is it's not that Vivienne doesn't know she's lucky! It's not that she doesn't know the Circles fail people! She recognizes there's a lot of flaws, and she does genuinely want to improve things for her fellow mages! Her intentions are good! Plus honestly if you work to get her approval up she's actually one of the better companions in terms of how she treats Quiz (seriously, look at some of her high approval conversations, she cares so damn much) and she'll defend even companions she doesn't like from unjust attacks (she's got a very good banter with romanced Dorian about how she got a letter from a magister she knows somehow about how disgusting Dorian and Quiz's relationship is and basically told him to fuck off with that). Vivienne really does care and really does want to make things better, she's just been so poisoned by her life in a world very heavily controlled by the Chantry and the Templars that she can't see past their way of doing things. The problem isn't that she doesn't see how lucky she is; she knows she got a lucky break that a lot of mages don't get (although it's important to note that she didn't just get lucky, Vivienne absolutely worked her ass off to get to where she is), and she knows that not everyone could get to where she is even if they'd gotten as lucky as she did. What she misses is that you need to be insanely lucky just to be more or less content in the Circle, never mind happy or powerful. Lucky enough to escape the worst of the Templars' abuses, lucky enough to be in a decent Circle, lucky enough not to be too weak or too powerful, lucky enough to get a manageable demon in your Harrowing, lucky enough to be the sort of person who won't be completely miserable trapped in one building your whole life... The thing Vivienne misses is that she got out, she doesn't have to spend her whole life in the Circle praying the Templars are good to her, and that's not an opportunity a lot of mages get no matter how smart or skilled they are. It drives me nuts, because if we were just allowed to push her to see that her story would immediately be so much better. As it is it's a lot of potential and a strong start that never really get paid off.

[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

Swallowed Whole by The Flame (Messmer the Impaler x Tarnished! Reader) 11

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Summary: Tarnished is met with her struggles in Messmer's "disappearance". She is also visited by a figure she thought she had long forgotten.

A/N: Helloooo! I'm back! I didn't realise I was gone for so long! October has been a hectic month. I hope all are doing well.

A03 link

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Chapter 10: Secrets

It is only the next day after your failed attempt to draw Messmer out that you try again. Again, met with little to no resistance, his guards tell you he is occupied. Though they're cryptic in giving a precise time he'll be out, they try and promise you to come again when he's free.

You try not to think much about it, though it nags you in the back of your mind. It's rare to not see him around his own Keep, especially since he suddenly disappeared for no reason. Did you do something to upset him? You try to retrace your steps, thinking over and over again what you could've done wrong. Sure, you were brash and keen on pissing him off, but you didn't think anything had come from your last interactions. Furthermore, you thought your last conversation was civil albeit somewhat awkward.

Nonetheless, you occupy yourself in hundreds of books. The more, the merrier you feel in keeping yourself sane. You find yourself for hours, forgetting about the most basic of needs like having meals and hydrating that when night draws in, you feel more exhausted than ever before.

The next few days are the same: you arrive early to try and catch Messmer, in hopes of seeing him leave his chambers, to no avail. It's the same promises, and you still foolishly believe them, no matter how frustrated you feel.

It's only when some of Messmer's knights take pity on you, suggesting taking some fresh air would do you well, that even Sir Ansbach and Aldwin begin to show concern. But you dismiss them all, keeping to yourself and your books. It takes some suggestions before some of the soldiers in the training yard ask if you're willing to train alongside them, and you seem to give in.

You don't loiter for long, and you find yourself clumsier than ever before being smacked against your limbs by a wooden sword. All because you're occupied in worrying about the stupid impaler. That same night, you find yourself cringing at the amount of bruises that litter your skin, and the way your body aches to no end, but you stick to your books, soon forgetting about sleep and its necessity.

A week passes before you're thoroughly pissed off. You dress simply as you rush to his apartments, remembering to take a sword with you along the way that you hide in your tall boots. Finding two black knights standing outside, they eye you nonchalantly, before you give your answer.

"He's still hiding, isn't he?"

"His Lord is very busy, Lady Tarnished." One of the ones you can recognise by his voice answers, the same who has had to face you almost daily. "I do not have an answer as to when his Lord will leave his apartments."

"That's the thing, I come here almost every fucking day to receive the same answer. Is there something truly up that a man has to be locked in his room?" You demand. "Is he sick? Do you know if he's even in his room, that he's not disappeared into a puff of smoke? You could be guarding fuck all."

"My Lady, Lord Messmer has asked for no disturbances," the same guard gives a vague answer with a hint of grit to his words. It doesn't worry you though, however, you can feel your chest hammering tightly in your chest. "We cannot ask enough that you leave his Lord to his peace."

"And what will you do if I don't leave?"

You can tell the way the knights are looking to one another for an answer - maybe Messmer had ordered them specifically to carry something out if they knew you'd not answer - before the same answers. "We would have to ask politely for you to leave."

"Again, what if I don't want to be politely escorted away?" You make an effort for them to see you go to grab hold of the sword's handle, so they're aware that you're armed. "Will I have to slice through you to get through?"

It's silent in the hallway, and neither of them seems so sure how to answer you. "I will ask this only once: move aside."

They know how much trouble they'll be in if they disobey either Messmer or you, but you think they would rather face the Impaler's wrath than have to take you on in the hallway. The two sides step away, leaving only you and what hides behind those doors.

You charge in almost hastily, the swing of the doors slam and shudder against the walls, echoing loudly as you step into the dimly lit room. His apartments are similar to yours, lavishly covered in red velvet, though his room is much larger, with a dining table as long as the ones in great halls, a lit fire keeping the warmth flowing.

You find the man you're looking for, sat at the head of the table, his back towards the fireplace, his hair laminated against the red of the flames, as he idly chews on his breakfast. 

The fucking nerve.

He's not fully dressed, the helmet is one thing you spot is missing, and it gives you a clearer view of his face. He's picking at his food, but he's holding a steady "what do you want" stare down at you. "Didst thee killeth mine men?" Is the first thing to come out his mouth once he's chewed through a bite.

"No." You seethe, watching him through narrowed eyes. "Is this what you've been doing this whole time? Hiding in the dark?" You eye his room and the paperwork, scrolls and letters that are placed around him. He's been busy preoccupying himself, away from the world outside his room.

"T'is none of thy concern as to what I doth in mine spareth timeth, Tarnished." He's coldly calling you by your title and there is disgust that is in his tone in the way he speaks down at you. Messmer pushes back his half-empty plate, "I asketh again: what doth thee wanteth?"

You feel as if you're a child being scolded by your mother for raiding the pantry late at night, and you merely scoff at his indifferent tone. "You've been missing for the last week. I-- we've been wondering if you just left without any of us knowing." You dry laugh to hide the fact that you're nervous for some reason. Is it because you're lying to him? That people around you have been going about their day as if this is a normal occurrence. Why was it you then who was the one who wished for his whereabouts?

Messmer lightly hums, "I've been missed, thee sayeth? Then I shalt arrangeth a meeting with mine own top generals." He coolly responds as if it's been nothing, but he's caught off guard by the look of anger that crosses your features.

"What are you hiding, Messmer?"

"If it is of concern, I am awaiting news from mine mother. She shall wisheth to knoweth of mine own progress." He says. He seems proud anytime he talks about Marika, and you think those letters surrounding him are proof of him trying to hear of updates.

"Your mother," the very mention of Marika leaves a fire in your stomach, and you feel a wretched disgust in its wake, "why are you so sure she will return here?" You think you're going half mad, and you visualise your fight with him that left you imprisoned in his tower. You think he's gone back on his word, after everything, so why is he so certain she will come now after all these years?

Messmer is the one who dismisses your words and his words sting like a slap across the face. "Thou art a fool if 't be true thee bethink otherwise. Marika will hear back from me-"

"Your mother is not fucking coming to get you, Messmer!" You snap so abruptly that it shakes the foundation of the rock of his room. You're certain you can hear the drop of a pin from the silence that follows and the way multiple feelings flash through Messmer's golden eye. Hurt, revulsion, fury. They're gone in an instant, replaced with the same deadpan expression he carries always.

You realise your mistake, that those days of trying to befriend him, sacrificing your time and your life to ally with him are tossed as quickly as a match into the flame. You take a hesitant step towards him. "Messmer."

"I wanteth thee to leaveth." His voice is scarily calm, so quiet that you don't hear it against the scraping of his chair as he abruptly stands to his full height. You're startled back, trying to compose yourself as you're frozen on the spot. "Messmer-- it was a mistake?"

"T wouldst beest a misprision if thee didst not leaveth mine own chambers this instance." You watch from his right hand pour flames, smoke and embers flow as he slowly and methodically walks around the table to get to you. They grow as large as his height, swirling around him in great awe and horror. The room grows incredibly hot so suddenly, and you're struggling to breathe.

You wheeze, tears making it harder to see through as you're consumed by heat and smoke. "Messmer, please." You beg, but the redhead is not relenting in his footsteps as he finally makes his way towards you. His winged serpents hiss and lunge as if trying to bite you, and you look up at him with dread and doom running a course through your veins.

"Leave at once!" He roars, and you stumble out as you push through the doors, air returning to you as you hurry away as far as your legs can take you. Messmer watches your retreating form, his head pounding, chest aching as if yearns for nothing more than the abyss.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He nor anyone but your maids come to give you your dinner that night, bidding a goodnight and leaving you to the silence of your apartments. You have found yourself stuck in the same part of your room, staring out the barred windows, hoping that you won't have to see him again.

The tears and smoke had dried on your face, leaving your eyes dry and struggling to see through, so you bid the maids to draw you a bath, where you had to stop yourself from drowning in it. You could still feel the heat that poured over your skin, cooking you in the spot you stood in. 

You had never felt more alone in your existence, confided to the fear of staying or fleeing, to await Miquella and Lady Leda. Would it be a better fate than to face Messmer's wrath again?

You thought he knew it himself Marika would not return, and your temper had gotten the better of you. You admitted it, you wanted to tell yourself there had to be a reason why you lashed out to him, why he was making you worry so much.

Your mind drew back to the moment he had caught you from making a fool of yourself in front of him once more, the warmth that came from him, wishing to be close to him like that again.

"Oh, Gods," you hid your face in your hands, "I cannot like him like that?"

But announcing it left a stammer in your chest, and even when you closed your eyes, you could see his face as if he was right in front of you. Your face warmed with heat as you stepped out of the bath, preparing to dress for bed. The candles were beginning to wilt as darkness slowly started to close in on your room. You paid it no mind as you dressed in your shift dress, sitting at the dresser as you grabbed the hairbrush to brush through your curls. It was only when you looked up into the mirror that something caught your gaze.

You blinked, almost letting out a scream as you scrambled to look behind you, only to find nothing there. A vision or hallucination? You blamed your lack of sleep, though you felt evermore afraid than before. It was humanlike and watching you, tall yet beautiful.

You sighed, drying your hair as you tried to think of anything but what could've been a ghost in your room. Perhaps you would sleep with a knife under your pillow just in case. 

Just as you stand and go towards the bed, do you hear the softest of voices, whispering languidly in the dead air.

"Oh, my sweet knight. How I've missed thee."

It is right behind you, and you turn swiftly to meet your attacker, only to find it is a figure standing by the window, staring out. He is tall, hauntingly beautiful as you saw before, long golden locks drift as he turns his head towards you, his smile as sweet as the summertime.

"Prince Godwyn?" You grasp the closest thing to you, your hairbrush, not a good weapon against the former demigod.

Godwyn looks at you warmly, his blue and gold garbs sway as he moves closer towards you. "After all this time, thee don't remember me?"

You're confused by what he means. "I know of you, My Lord... I apologise-- you're... you were-"

"-The first of the demigods to die, was that what thee wished to say?" He answers for you, and his words are as deep and smooth as poured honey. His golden eyes meet yours and you feel as if he is staring directly into your soul. "Indeed, I was, and only now do thee remember?"

"We--" it confuses you greatly what he means, and you cannot recall a time when you think you would've known him. He was before your time, you tell yourself, and you wish to tell him he is wrong, but you're stuck with uncertainty. "I'm sorry--- I... Forgive me, this is all just a dream, isn't it?"

"A dream? Thou art in one?" His laugh is warm as a hot day, there is power that resides and surrounds him, a great aura that came from his golden lineage. You blink and he's standing behind you, collecting a curl to run through his fingers. "T'is funny, that night thou had to leave, I begged thee to stay, I could've promised thee the entire world. I didn't want my mother's crown nor my father's lands, nor the lineage they wished me to continue." He circled you like a hound, ready to strike as he stood before you.

"Did thee know what I wished for dearest of all?"

You stammer as you answer, "No."

"Thy hand."

His touch is lightning speed when it comes to reaching out for your hand. You don't react in time before you see flashes of a time you don't remember living:

You see yourself in the golden armour of the Lyndell knights, marvelling at the dragons that circle the sky. Another vision was you kneeling towards Queen Marika and her cause, the gold and pride that radiated off of her could be felt through your entire being, down to your very soul. It clung to you like a disease the day you first died, clutching the sword you had been given as a gift, blood pouring from your mouth as you spluttered the name of the man you marvelled at in awe and wonder. "Godwyn."

You pull back your hand from his as if he had burnt you the same way Messmer had done too. "No, it would've never worked. What you showed me, was false."

Godwyn holds now a sad smile on his face, his white teeth glowing in the darkness as well as his eyes. "And yet, thou have become Elden Lord, it could've been done then too, but thee left me."

"No, I didn't leave you... it was an order. You knew this but you sent me away."

"All in the name of my mother." Godwyn bitterly laughs. He is gentle in the way he cradles you to his broad chest, the warmth that comes from his body is enough for you to feel the need to sleep overwhelm you. He is gentle as cradles your face in his hands, and you think he is about to lean down and kiss you when he whispers into your ear.

"It does not matter now, my lovely knight, I shall bid you a goodnight."

"Godwyn, wait!-"

You screech as you're pushed backwards onto the bed, and yet you're awoken with yourself buried in the sheets, light pouring in the windows to set for another day. Your mind is wracked in a tangle, your heart still pounding from what you have just experienced. 

-

A/N: Sooooo… Tarnished is now seeing a ghostly apparition of Godwyn… I wonder what that's going to do to her psyche. I hope you all enjoyed it, I missed writing this and I look forward to writing more!

[idwtransformers-vibe]

(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠) a fluffy fic with idw prowl, maybe (fem.reader) them having to share a habsuite because they're transferred to a different facility. so, one berth. prowl, after mass displacement, begrudingly sleeps next to the human and reluctantly submits to the cuddles (human is too soft not to cuddle.)

Heya! Hope you don't mind me using my Soul-Spark Airways idea in this! If you want, I can tag you in it!

Now, onto the one berth trope (my favorite tbh)

IDW Prowl sharing a berth with fem!reader:

"Are you serious?" Prowl glared at Optimus and Soul-Spark Airways maintenance manager. "What do you mean I have to share MY hab with (Y/n)?" He demanded an answer. He does not like the thought of sharing his space. He loved his space. Never once had he ever had a roommate, not in his personal quaters, at least. The war is over. Why should he share his space with a human?

"Prowl, it is only temporary. Unfortunately, her documents got mixed up, and someone at the badging office deactivated her badge by accident. She is not allowed to be alone on Cybertron until her badge is working again, and since it's not working, she can't be alone without an escort... You are the only one available with the authorization to escort her." Optimus explained apologetically. He knew he was asking for a lot with these terms. While he didn't want to force Prowl into this, he would hate for the woman to get stranded somewhere on Cybertron.

"We'll try to get her badge sorted as quick as we can and try to relocate her documents." The maintenance manager chimed in. He felt bad for both his mechanic and Prowl. Mainly for the mechanic, though, as this was sheer bad luck.

Prowl glared at the human who stood on the table before him. He glared down at the fragile yet resilient being. "Why not find the IDIOT who deactivated her badge and the IDIOT who lost her he documents?" He seethed.

"Well... The badging office is a different company-" The manager was soon cut off by an irritated groan.

Prowl has met (Y/n) before. She had done heavy maintenance on him after he had gotten into a pretty bad battle. At the time, she was the only mechanic available and performed emergency repairs on him. He hadn't seen her since then, though. But, he has spoken to her before through comms. She had always helped him with getting things delivered. "Fine. She can stay with me." He huffed. His optics narrowed at the two as they both seemed to have a look of relief on their faces.

"Thank you... We'll have someone pick her up."

"You better have someone alright." He grumbled.

A few hours went by. He figured (Y/n) was having to go through strict security protocol as she no longer had her badge.

Soon, he heard a knock on the door. He left his desk and went to open the door. There she was, in her mechanic uniform with a bag full of clothes and necessities. She gave him a smile, quite happy to see him again. "Long time no see." She smiled.

"Indeed." He moved himself out of the way to let her in.

Once she was in, he shut the door behind her. She seemed to be admiring the cleanliness of his hab. "Nice place." She complimented.

Prowl didn't respond. He only carefully moved past her to go back to his desk. (Y/n) tried to see what he was looking at on the datapad, but was too small to see. She heard him grumble in his language over something. She can understand Cybertronian somewhat, but only enough to greet someone or to excuse herself.

Little to her knowledge, Prowl was trying to locate her documents herself. But since he does not work for Soul-Spark Airways, he was denied access. He could manipulate the system... But he doesn't feel like facing the consequences of losing this company's trust.

So, he simply set the datapad down and looked down at them. "I'm going to lay down some rules. Do not touch my stuff, do not leave this hab unless I am with you, or until you have your badge back, and do not stick your nose into my business, and once you have your badge, you're out, understood?"

She nodded. She was warned that he was quite prickly. Although, it was go figure for her. He was always stern and prickly when he wanted certain things transported when the war was going on not too long ago.

Later that evening, after (Y/n) had her dinner, and Prowl had refueled. One got ready to turn in for the night while the other was looking at more data files. "So... Where will I sleep?" The woman asked.

Prowl sighed and looked over his shoulder as if she were disrupting him. She wasn't. He's just annoyed about sharing his space. "You can sleep on my berth."

"What about you, though?" She asked with confusion in her voice. There was only one berth here, where was he going to rest?

"I plan on staying up."

"Prowl, I've worked on your systems before. Your tanks don't have enough energy to pull off 24 hours. Not like an aircraft bot, they can do 24 to 48 hours." (Y/n) explained. This earned her quite the grimace from the autobot. He clearly didn't like being told that his body could not handle the 24-hour function.

"Rest." He ordered.

"You know I'm right-"

"And I don't care. Now sleep." He ordered once more.

The mechanic rolled her eyes some. He was still the same stubborn mech. So, she laid on his berth without another word. She tried to sleep, but it was proven difficult. She spent so much time being a Cargo-Runner that she had gotten used to the sound of a bots internal system running. She normally slept inside of her aircraft bot friend. Their system internal system was loud, but soothing to her. So the sudden silence with the only sound of tapping was a bit unsettling to her.

Prowl would tap away at the files. His systems started signifying that it was time to rest. He would defer the warning, but then it would come right back. This kept happening that he just tossed the datapad onto the desk. He turned his helm to look at the barely sleeping human. A part of him yearned for human touch. The plush and soft feeling of them was almost the equivalent of a human hugging a soft plushie, almost.

He carefully stood up from his desk and made his way over to the berth. He stared at her more. The soft hue of his optics glowed down on her figure. He went back and forth in his mind. A part of him says no, why in Primus's name would he cuddle someone, while the other part him wondered what's the harm in cuddling a human? This could help him relax, which is something he really needed. 'Oh, frag it.' He thought to himself. Prowl carefully laid next to (Y/n)

This startled her slightly, a little surprised to find herself being spooned by the grumpy bot. "Prowl?"

"Go to sleep." He mumbled. Prowl was not about to have this conversation now. He didn't want to, and he never will.

She could feel his firm hold on her. It didn't too tight, but firm enough to the point that she couldn't move, but she found a way to shift herself around some enough to face herself towards him. He surprisingly felt comfortable, he felt warm. He felt like something that came fresh out of the dryer.

So, she laid her head on his chassis. There was the sound she craved to hear, they running sound of the Cybertronian system. She could finally feel herself become sleepy.

Prowl was a bit surprised by this, but he accepted it nonetheless. He slowly rubbed her back and entangled his legs with hers. This felt good on his joints, not that he was that old, but it does feel good. He could see why a lot of bots made cuddle buddies out of the humans. Maybe he could make a cuddle buddy out of her? Well... Maybe not... He needs to give it some thought. For now, he'll enjoy this moment. He buried his face into the top of her head and sighed with satisfactory. Maybe this arrangement wasn't so bad after all.

[distort-opia]

I'm wracking my brain with what Joker would do in an established situation, like how would he keep those homicidal urges at bay (sex and intimacy can only go so far I imagine) and also there's so much unacknowledged mental health concerns. Bruce would just have to always be ready to pick up the pieces I feel like (God these two are a tragic mess). I don't think normalcy is possible but I don't think their relationship is built for that anyway (I've been writing notes down for a story for days and it's just been consuming me)

An actual relationship between Bruce and Joker is a very complicated thing to imagine, yeah. I agree with you that normalcy is entirely out of the question-- as in, a typical "healthy" relationship. What I think they could have is something that works, but not something that most people would understand or approve of. If you're writing a story, I would say it depends on how they got into the relationship a lot, and if Bruce is compromising as much as Joker perceives he is. For instance, a rehabilitation scenario inherently implies a power imbalance, which Joker would resent and Bruce would not be able to help not taking advantage of. This would not end up working out, in my opinion, unless they got back on equal footing somehow. So a scenario with them an equal footing is what I will be rambling about.

Joker's homicidal urges and mental health issues are indeed a big obstacle. It'd take a whole lot for him to even agree to try for a relationship that involves something other than violence, but this denotes a willingness to compromise from the start. It means he cares about Bruce enough to risk opening the door to his humanity, something that he's very keen on eradicating. Joker can allow himself to love Batman as long as love equals destruction; but once love begins to mean more tender things, things that only people and not monsters can feel... it's a threat to his very identity, to his very core. Hence, just the fact that Joker is in an established relationship means that he's accepted, one way or another, that he's a human being.

Human beings don't need to kill people. Monsters do. It's relevant to note that Joker has an incredible capacity to reshape himself. He's done so multiple times in canon, and always in relation to what he perceived Batman needed. He was murderous when he emerged, but after Robin appeared on the scene he went for funny silly gags, and then he recreated himself back into a horrific threat... In his head, Batman -- the drive to see meaning in all life, to fight for sense in one's existence -- is the force of nature that he's the opposite of. Joker molded himself as the force of chaos: he kills carelessly, sometimes almost joylessly, because he believes he's embodying the true way the world works (though he's shown signs he'd like to be convinced otherwise).

After all, like his fall in the acid and the trauma he went through proved, catastrophe is random. It doesn't matter if you're good or evil, if you've got a family or if you're alone, if you've contributed to society or not. You can get run over by a bus, you can have a heart attack, you can mix the wrong medications, you can get shot in the head by a madman because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. My point with this is that Joker sees himself as an agent of the cruel randomness of existence, and him killing people is very much part of it. So if he stopped seeing himself as an inhuman force for chaos, I think killing would not be a necessity anymore.

That's not to say he wouldn't think of other people's lives as worthless or that he wouldn't instinctually want to kill someone because they're inconveniencing him as some kind of fly buzzing around, but it does mean he wouldn't need to do it. Being with Bruce undermines the very point of being Joker, it means being a person instead of raging at the world. In an established relationship, he'd need to once again reshape himself, figure out who he can be. It'd be very difficult, if you add Bruce's controlling tendencies in the mix. You mentioned Bruce always having to pick up the pieces, but the thing is, Bruce would want to. He'd want to do that too much, he would enjoy seeing Joker be vulnerable, because afterwards... Bruce would be able to put those pieces back together the way he wants them to be. And Joker would be rightly afraid of that, and Bruce himself would be afraid of his own need to do just that, and it'd be a constant push and pull. That's basically what I think it'd be like for a while, before Joker figured out who exactly he's comfortable being, and if he can trust Bruce to still be there when boundaries are being pushed. It'd be a lot of "make me" even in the context of intimacy, until Joker initiates something that doesn't hurt on his own and like... Bruce doesn't move a muscle as if he might spook a wild animal or something. And then Joker snaps at him to stop making it weird, hah.

I'm going to stop here to avoid turning this into a Batjokes relationship essay, but I hope this helped inspire you, Anon! We can always use more Batjokes stories, excited to eventually read yours.

[toskarin]

what are your thoughts on ARPGS? stuff like Diablo, path of exile, Grim Dawn, etc? I remember they got a brief mention back when you were getting asked a bunch about roguelites and was curious since ARPGs are another obvious-but-different offshoot of Rogue

it's a delicate balance for me, because I think that they're a lot of fun, but they're also (by necessity of control scheme) kind of the ultimate skinnerbox game type, which means I end up at odds with the way a lot of them choose to apply difficulty

Torchlight 2, for example, is a game that I still consider to be one of the most fun mindless rpgs out there. it doesn't really have teeth, but if I were to make a list of games someone has to try before they die, it would probably be on that list in spite of my inability to actually figure out why it's compelling

I've kinda settled into "it picked what it wanted to do and just polished it until it was entirely successful at that"

I really enjoy the Titan Quest-descended family of numbercrunchy arpgs in theory, but they often fall into uncomfortably fast combat speed in lategame, which the controls are a bit too imprecise to accommodate unless you're into mobas enough to seek it out

if I start talking about my opinions on larger scale multiplayer in arpgs I'm going to make people very angry at me, so I'll just say that I thought Diablo 2 was quite good and so was most of Path of Exile

overall, it's a genre I'm conflicted about liking

also Lost Ark was bad

[tangledinink]

I can imagine the first cycle after moving. Probably Leo because Donnie likely has internal scarring, so leo goes through the process of laying his eggs, panics, his brother can't help, and finally, *finally* they ask for help. It's not willingly. It's not for fun. It's purely necessity. It's purely because there's *literally noone else* and the idea of telling anyone at all is so scary that the way they do so is in a note. Splinter sits them down and basically walks them through "You're safe, you're fine. We can handle this however you feel most comfortable, including getting you both on blockers if you prefer" and they just.... sigh. For the first time, there's *someone else* in their circle, and it's willing and it's warm, and it's *safe*. There will be tears.

Yes, except I'm not convinced that either of them could stand to tell anyone. Even if it was literally life or death (which it has been before,) I'm not sure if either of them could bear to give up that information. Donnie is finally, finally away from the people who hurt him when he got found out last time, and even though logically, he knows that it's different here, he's absolutely petrified of the thought that the same thing will happen again and it won't be over anymore. He's still horrified by the idea of anyone else knowing about Leo when he's gone to such lengths for so long to protect him, and Leo is likewise terrified in the same way. They've spent years with this being their more closely guarded secret, and that's going to be really difficult to give up.

But it's really not a secret they'll be able to keep for long.

They're in a completely different environment, with far less space and privacy. They're both stressed as hell and Donnie WAS on birth control and taking all sorts of vitamins and supplements to make sure he didn't eggbind again and now he's suddenly not and it's not only messing with his body, it's fucking scary. It literally keeps them both up at night. Neither of them know how to wash blood out of clothes or sheets. There's no private en suite bathroom they can sequester themselves away in. They're both literally making themselves sick with anxiety trying to deal with this, and they're used to handling this on their own, this is routine for them, but they're not used to all of this.

They'd probably metaphorically limp through a few cycles before their family puts it together and gently confronts them.

Venus probably figures it out first. She's pretty smart, and incredibly observant, and after all-- she quite literally experiences the exact same thing. April may not lay eggs, but I think she'd be able to get the idea after a bit as well. And while I think Splinter would realize something was wrong pretty quickly, Draxum would probably realize what was wrong first. Splinter has April, so he has a little bit of experience in this realm, but Draxum has Venus and so he has far more experience.

And so when they do sit them down and talk with them, it's going to be really scary at first. And then they get to, "you're safe, you're fine, we can handle this however you feel the most comfortable. It will be okay. No one will hurt you."

And then there's finally other people in the know, in the circle, people who will actually help them. And yes-- there will definitely be tears.

[sophiasoelberg]

So the symbolism with clothes is INSANE in OFMD.

By Season 2 Episode 6, they're both becoming what the other was. Ed no longer wants to be a pirate because it brought out the brutal, cold blooded part in him that he's been bored of long before he met Stede. But which was a necessity for him to survive, to protect his mother from his father.

Then he met Stede, who was a gentleman, doing and being something Ed has always wanted to be, which is softness. Like the soft, fine fabrics Ed likes, but never really allowed himself to have, only carried the piece of red silk his mother has given him when he was a boy.

Ed only let go of that red silk when him and Stede were apart, because Ed gave up on his newly discovered soft side. He became the Kraken, all hard edges and black leather.

Also, before he let go of the softness with the red silk, he wore Stede's fuchsia robe, which represented the colour entering Stede's life, and by Ed wearing it, he wore Stede's essence, what comforted him as he missed Stede very much. He missed the colour from his life.

Fast forward, in Season 2 after Stede had his first kill, after Ned literally said that if he does it, Stede will become a Real Pirate, Stede looks for comfort with Ed by making love to him. Stede as a pirate who was always scared of the brutality and coldness of masculinity that his father represented to him, I believe.

Yet being a pirate, an infamous one at that, as Stede finds himself suddenly to be, is what he had dreamed about. Which must be conflicting as heck, too. Being something you yearned for, and being accepted for it, which you're not used to, but then that very thing you wanted is also uncomfortable because of the inherent brutality it carries with itself. (Piracy)

Anyway, when Episode 7 starts, Ed throws his leathers into the sea. His things that represent Blackbeard. He gets rid of it after he became intimate with Stede, having taken off Blackbeard, (=his leathers) LITERALLY. This time he's wearing Stede's robe but it's the same dark blue colour as Stede's new "pirate shirt".

Blue is obviously one of Stede's favourite colours, which would symbolise his love for the sea— and Ed wears that. He wears Stede on himself on that Morning After. Ed is trying to find what he can become after he gives up his Blackbeard identity, and what he knows is that he likes fishing and most importantly, loves Stede. He finds comfort in Stede, like Stede does in Ed.

One more interesting thing, since I'm diving into the topic of symbolism with clothes is the fact that there was a huge emphasis on the scene in which Buttons turned into a seagull.

Buttons said: "The sea is my love. To love the sea as she must be loved, requires change."

And Ed: "Buttons, people don't change, not into birds or otherwise." (Just when Ed and Stede's theme starts to play very softly)

But Buttons changes, and Ed is AMAZED by it, and then goes on his own journey to change his ways. So that he can love Stede in a healthy way.

Buttons leaves his clothes behind, and in Episode 7, Ed wears them as he's trying to figure out who he wants to be instead of Blackbeard and instead of a pirate. For me, him wearing Buttons' clothes then means that Edward is finally truly (docked too) ready for change.

But it also means that Buttons is a character who's LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH THE SEA. And in the beginning of Season 2, Stede wore Buttons' cravat. And then Ed wears the rest of Buttons' clothes. Showing that Ed and Stede love the sea.

As of right now, by Episode 7, what they need now, Ed and Stede, is to find a middle ground where both can be who they truly are and continue to balance each other out that way. For Ed to find peace, softness and comfort, (and a fucking INN, give that man what he wants, for whoever's sake—) and for Stede to be who he aspired to be, a pirate, but to also regain his gentleness, because that's a core part of him. That's why Ed loves him.