#but they won't be revealed until my next chapter comes out

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 39: Life

Summary: Something begins to throb in your chest as you lay there. Something thrums deep within you, something you haven’t felt in weeks.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 7,343 words

Warnings: Angst, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, angst, PTSD, nightmares, POV changes, depression and anxiety, illness, language, slightly graphic imagery, very slight violence, rumination, lots of feels, and yes finally some comfort

A/N: Yes, it has finally arrived. The time has come. We are now in the comfort. This very much is a good place to end things for the next month. If you haven't seen my post then I'll say it here, I will be putting the fic on a brief hiatus for the month of October. I have Kyletober planned and trying to do CRCB at the same time will be too much. So this will be the last chapter for a couple weeks while I focus on other things and just give my brain a little break from CRCB. It's been eight months of just pumping out long chapters every week, or almost every week, so I need a little break to focus on other things. I'll still be writing and posting things here (and Ao3 of course) but there won't be another CRCB chapter posted until November.

But anyway, I hope you enjoy this one and the comfort starting and I'm super excited for what's coming next month (can't believe it's almost October)

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“I need you to be brave.” Christine says, staring up at him. 

His heart thumps in his chest. How bad is it that not only did she summon him down here, but she’s asking him to be brave. He knows you’re sick, that you’ve fallen ill after your moment of anger earlier. She had informed them over dinner as she made some broth that you came down with a fever. 

They had all been worried, sharing glances at the news. John looked like a dog that had been scolded. It was his fault, after all. 

If anything happens to you, it is his fault. 

Johnny swallows the lump in his throat, nodding slowly as he stares down at Christine. “I can be brave.” 

Christine stares up at him for a long moment before nodding. She pushes the door open, leading him inside your room. The scent in the air is thick, tainted by the bitter scent of anxiety still lingering in the air, and the sour scent of illness. He misses the fresh scent of strawberries, he has missed it over the last few weeks. Your scent had taken on a bitter edge ever since the cameras were revealed to them. It’s only gotten stronger recently after the events that transpired. 

All of their scents have been off lately. 

It’s dark in the room aside from the bedside lamp. It casts a soft glow around the room, elongating the shadows in the corners. They loom threateningly, and his fingers twitch to turn on the overhead light. 

You don’t like the overhead light. It’s too bright. 

You always prefer softer light. Is it an omega thing, or is it just a you thing? He’s not quite sure. 

How little they really understand you. 

The lamp illuminates a pile of blankets on the bed, stacked one on top of each other to create a lump of soft fabric. You’re underneath that pile, he knows it. You’ve always liked blankets, always carried one with you in the barracks, eternally cold in the harsh world they existed in on base. This many blankets though? It was excessive even for you. 

He approaches the bed slowly, scared at what he might find. Images of you laying in a puddle of blood, cold and stiff fills his mind. Images of a skeletal figure reduced to nothing but skin stretched over bones has his heart racing. What will he find on the other side of that pile obscuring you from his vision? 

He swallows down his fear, reminding himself that he’s a soldier. He’s seen dead bodies before, he’s killed before. So why is he so scared now? 

This isn’t war. It’s you. 

He steps up to the side of the bed, looking down on you. You’re shivering, trembling under the blankets. Sweat beads on your forehead, skin dewy and clammy in your fever. You look more alive than the skeletal figure he had pictured in his mind, but you don’t look well. 

You look near death. 

“I’m worried about her.” Christine says, closing the door behind her. “She needs someone from her pack close. You’re making the most effort right now, and if anyone might get through to her, it’s you. She needs...someone.” Christine sighs. “Someone who can offer what I can’t.”  

“She needs a member of her pack.” Johnny says, easily putting together what Christine was saying. 

He knows what she’s asking. He’s scared. He’s not sure how you’ll react. The last people you want to see right now is your pack, including him. How will you react to having him so close? 

“Exactly.” Christine says, stepping up right next to him.

Her fingers wrap around his wrist, and he lets her guide his hand to your cheek. It’s hot and clammy against his palm, a fire blazing under your skin. You let out a shuddering breath, the air fanning weakly against his wrist. Your head turns just slightly, pressing into his hand. It’s a good sign, despite the delirium you have to be stuck in. What are you imagining is happening right now? What is your brain telling you? 

“Touch her, talk to her.” Christine says, releasing his wrist. He keeps his hand there, pressed against your cheek. “We need to try and get her back before this gets worse.” 

Before they lose you. 

She won’t say it out loud. 

She doesn’t need to. 

Johnny nods, turning his head to look at Christine over his shoulder. She looks exhausted, and not just because of the late hour. She’s done so much over the past few weeks watching you and caring for you. Maybe it is time one of them tries to step up and help her. You can’t avoid them forever, no matter how much you might feel like trying. 

He has to try. For you. 

“I know what tae do.” He says, his eyes flickering to the books stacked on your dresser, the ones Simon and John picked up. 

Christine squeezes his arm. “I’m just across the living room if you need me.” 

“I’ll try not to.” He says. 

She stares up at him for a long moment before nodding. She understands. He doesn’t have to say much else. She leaves the door cracked and he doesn’t mind, moving away from you to look through the books on the dresser. A handful of them are new, or at least ones he’s never seen you read before. A couple are ones he knows are in your collection at the barracks. He picks one of those, some fantasy novel he’s seen you read more than once. 

He looks between the bed and the chairs. He could pull one over and sit by your side. 

No, Christine said it was better to touch you. 

Instead he climbs onto the bed, sitting close enough he can feel the heat from your body. He cracks open the book, flipping through to the first page. He clears his throat, staring down at you for a moment before he begins to read. 

Rain batters the roof, coming down hard outside. The wind is blowing, whooshing past the house, rattling the shutters. The storm blew in from the sea, dumping rain by dinner and then the wind picked up by the time they were all getting ready to settle in for the night. 

It feels fitting, a storm blowing in at a time when a storm is brewing within their pack.

The storm he blew into their pack. 

He lays there in bed, listening to it rage outside. It’s quiet in the house, Simon and Johnny already settled in, and so are you downstairs. Kyle is beside him, but not asleep. He’s laying awake again as they have done since their arrival. He can feel the heat of Kyle’s body against his arm as he lays on his back, Kyle on his side facing away from him. 

“You just had to do it, didn’t you?” Kyle asks quietly, breaking the silence. “Can’t even go a week without trying to apologize knowing full well she won’t forgive you.” 

John stays silent, having expected some kind of reprimanding for his actions. He really was selfish for what he did. Kyle is right. You won’t forgive him, no matter how many times or ways he tries to say sorry. 

“You’re just making it worse.” Kyle huffs out. “You’re the last person that should try apologizing right now.”

“You’re right.” He finally says. “It was selfish of me to do that. I just wanted her to know-” 

“She knows.” Kyle snaps, cutting him off. “She’s not stupid and oblivious. She knows we’re all feeling guilty, she knows how sorry we all are. She won’t let us apologize until she’s ready. Shows just how little you actually understand her, trying to do that.” Kyle pushes himself up to sit. “She doesn’t want words. She’s had words spewed at her, her whole life telling her what to do, how to feel, how to act. She want’s actions. She wants us to prove to her that we do care, that we are sorry, that we’re making an effort to make things up to her. She wants us to prove that we’re putting her first by putting her first.” 

John knows he’s right. Words won’t solve a situation like this. None of them know where to start, though. How do you try and make things up to someone when you’re not even sure that person wants you to try? 

“She’s sick now, because of what you did.” Kyle continues. “If anything happens to her...” He trails off, shaking his head. 

“I’ll let you take the first shot.” John says. “I know. I’ve been a miserable excuse of an alpha. It’s easy when you have the confines of the military to hold everything in place. When those expectations dictate your life and how to run a pack. It’s easy, when you can exist as a pack with those set routines and structures. The facade that makes everything seem like it's working.” He shakes his head. “We never would have worked outside of those confines.” 

Kyle’s head turns slightly towards him, but his gaze is still on the far wall. “No, we wouldn’t have. None of us would have chosen this in the first place.” 

“Probably not.” John agrees. “Then we got an omega added, an outsider that showed us just how weak we really were.” 

“We were crumbling long before that.” Kyle says. “We weren’t ready for an omega, we shouldn’t have ever had an omega.” 

“I should never have been head alpha.” John says. “Being an alpha is different from being a captain. It shouldn’t have been me.” 

Kyle snorts. “He would have never agreed.” 

“That delay might have saved us.” 

“Or it would have made things worse.” Kyle says. “Shepherd wanted us to bond with her right away so his control over us would strengthen if he had to use that power. If those bonds weren’t put into place when they were, they might have tried to force it.” 

“That would have only destabilized things further.” John says. Kyle isn’t wrong. Who knows what lengths they would have gone to, to ensure what they wanted would happen. “They were watching us from the start. They knew exactly how to play all of us.” 

“Simon was right all along in his suspicions.” Kyle says, laying back down on the bed. Their shoulders are touching. It feels nice, having him close again. They’ve been close for the last few days, forced together by their sleeping arrangements, but it feels different now. 

“He’ll be a better alpha than I ever could be.” John says quietly, almost speaking to himself. 

“I think she will come to forgive you eventually.” Kyle says, turning his head to look at John. “You just have to give her time. A lot of time. You have to figure out how to prove yourself worthy of that forgiveness.” 

“I want to take her to the beach.” John says. “Once she’s recovered.” 

“If she recovers.” Kyle had pieced together the worry in Christine’s voice combined with her words. They all had. 

“She will.” John says. “She’s a tough little thing. She’s not going to give up just like that.” 

“I hope you’re right.” Kyle says. 

“I may not have the best track record with being right currently, but I’m confident in her and her strength.” John turns his head to look at Kyle in the darkness. The storm is calming outside, the wind dying down and the rain lightening. “She’s stronger than all of us combined.” 

The corners of Kyle’s lips twitch. “You are right about that.” 

It smells good. 

There’s a rich scent in the air as you begin to wake. It smells like Christmas, like spices and citrus. Warm gingerbread and cider. Freshly squeezed orange juice on Christmas morning just like every year. It had been your favorite, though you never understood the lengths your mother went to, the early morning and the hours spent in the kitchen on Christmas slaving away to make everything perfect. Everyone got something they wanted, something they loved. You never appreciated that effort until now. 

Oranges. Spices. Warmth. 

You know that scent. 

It’s hot in the room, sweat soaking your skin as you lay on your right side. Heat surrounds you like a cocoon, just like the scent. Warm and soft and too much. You try to wiggle out from under the blankets but you can’t move, so instead you shuffle them off. Some of them hit the floor with soft plops, the others just barely hanging on the side of the bed, trapped under your body. You’re still stuck, still hot as you lay there, a comforting weight around you. The scent floods your nose, fills your body with a pleasant feeling as you lay there, breathing through your nose. Oranges, spices, warmth. 

Someone is baking a pie.

It smells good. You want to bury yourself in it, press yourself into that scent until it’s the only thing you can smell. It brings you a comfort you didn’t realize you were missing. Something fills your chest, a weight beginning to press down inside of you.

Your hair sticks to your face as you lay there, tempted to get up and see who is baking and why. There’s weight pressing down on you from the outside as well. You can’t move. You’re stuck. 

The weight around you moves. 

No, it’s not pie. 

It’s Johnny. 

That’s why you know the scent. That’s why it feels so familiar, so comforting. It’s Johnny. Johnny is pressed up against your back, his arm tossed over your waist. That’s why it’s so hot, his body putting off warmth like a heater. 

You should be angry at the breach of your clearly placed barriers. You should be upset that he would come in here and just climb in bed like this. You should be pissed that one of them would try something like this after your outburst yesterday. 

You shouldn’t be crying. 

Not out of relief. 

Oh how you missed this. 

Something begins to throb in your chest as you lay there, crying quietly in Johnny’s arms. Something begins to thrum deep within you, something you haven’t felt in weeks. Life? Hope? Happiness? 

You should be upset. 

You can’t be. 

Johnny grunts quietly behind you, his arm leaving your waist as he stretches. He’s awake now, or maybe he hadn’t been at all and had been waiting for some sign of life, some movement from you, something to try and give him a hint at what you must be feeling. He doesn’t say anything, laying still as you sniffle in the silence. No one else is up yet, despite the blue light of dawn coming in through the gap in the curtain. 

“Johnny?” You whisper, even the quiet sound hurting your sore throat. You’re thirsty, desperately so, but that’s a problem for later. 

“It’s me, kitten.” He says hesitantly, the pet name making a sob tear from your throat. 

“Johnny,” You cry, the tears falling in a cascade. You can’t stop them. You’ve lost complete control as you lay there sobbing. “Hold me.” 

He doesn’t say anything else, his arms wrapping around you and tugging you close against his chest. He locks you in his embrace, holding you tightly against his chest as you cry. It feels good. Life and energy flows through you again for the first time in weeks. That empty space in your chest begins to fill slowly, warmth blossoming in your body despite the sweat soaking you both. Johnny offers no complaints as he presses his face into your hair. 

How you missed this. 

How you need this. 

You seem more relaxed at dinner. Despite your angry outburst the day before, and your sudden illness, you look significantly less miserable than you did your first attempt at joining them for dinner. The yelling did a number on your throat, but even now it’s nothing compared to that first day. You’re having soup again, and this time there’s a side of mash and peas next to the bowl. 

You even walked to the table without the crutch. 

Simon sits beside you again, all of them taking their respective seats at the table. They’ve assigned themselves these seats, even when you don’t join them for a meal. You’re at the head of the table as you were the first time, Simon and Chrstine on either side of you. Kyle and Johnny are seated next to them, and John is across the table from you. You’ve been avoiding looking at him. You haven’t even so much as glanced up at him. 

Simon is watching you carefully out of the corner of his eye, trying not to make it obvious. If you’ve noticed, you haven’t shown any disapproval. He’s ready in case he has to act fast again, but you are far more steady than you were that first time. There’s no tremble to your hand as you bring the spoon up to your mouth. 

The others look happier than before too. Johnny has stopped crying. Not even a sniffle from him ever since this morning when he emerged from your room. None of them had said anything about it, though they have an inkling of what had happened, judging by Christine’s lack of reaction to it. Kyle looks happier too, sitting straighter like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It probably has, with the lightening of the mood. Whatever happened with Johnny this morning, it’s made a huge change already.  

John has never been much of a religious man, but god bless Johnny for whatever magic he worked this morning. 

You don’t even look feverish as you sit there, spooning soup into your mouth. A lingering low-grade fever, Christine had informed them earlier that afternoon, but significantly less concerning than things had been yesterday.  

He’s glad to hear it. He’s always glad to hear Christine’s updates on how you’re doing, how well you’re healing, at least physically. The body heals easily. Mentally...there’s still a long way to go. Healing physically will help mentally, but with all the trauma, years and years of trauma, it’s going to take a long time to heal from that. 

The clink of your spoon in your bowl draws him from his thoughts and he glances up at you. 

“Getting full?” Christine asks as you take a sip of your water, wincing slightly as you swallow it. 

“Can I have some tea?” You ask. 

“Sure,” Christine says, going to push her chair back, but John is already standing.

“I’ll make some.” He says, not offering any room for argument as he turns his back on the table to head for the kettle. 

You’ve been drinking more tea lately, likely to soothe your throat. He never thought he’d see the day, given your determination to stand with Johnny on the side of coffee. It’s a bit late for coffee, but he does know it wouldn’t keep you awake in the slightest. You love your sleep, as most omegas do, and nothing will get in the way of it. Not even some late evening caffeine. 

He sets mugs out on a tray, deciding to make tea for everyone. At least that way it’ll make it seem less targeted at you. He’s not doing it to try and impress you or win your affections back. He just wants to help take the load off of Christine’s shoulders. She’s done so much for you, for all of them, already. 

He steeps the tea before bringing the mugs to the table along with some milk and sugar. He knows at least Simon and Kyle will drink some, and he will as well. He brings the kettle over, filling the mugs with tea. All of them sit there watching him, waiting tensely for what will happen next. Will you take the mug of tea he offers? Or will you refuse. Even if you threw it in his face, it wouldn’t make him mad. It would be horribly painful, yes, but he would deserve it. 

Perhaps him doing this was a mistake. 

He stares at the sugar and milk as he grabs one of the mugs. Do you like sugar or milk in your tea? He’s not sure. He doesn’t even know how you take your tea. He knows you like creamer in your coffee. But how do you take your tea? 

What a sad excuse of a human being he is. 

You don’t look at him as he sets the mug next to your water glass. You’re still eating your soup, your hand trembling just slightly now. Your scent is tainted still, a whiff of it filling his nose. Displeasure, a hint of burning anger. 

This was a mistake. 

He sets the milk and sugar next to you first, letting you finish making your tea. He won’t push that boundary and risk making it wrong. It would only add fuel to the fire, make it more obvious that he knows and cares so little for you. He doesn’t even know how you take your tea. 

He takes his seat again as the others help themselves to the tea, even Johnny taking a mug. Whether he’s doing it because he wants to make the moment feel less awkward, or because he genuinely wants some, John will never know. 

He made a mistake in doing that. 

Still, despite the awkwardness, it felt good to do that. 

Maybe that’s how they get closer to you. 

The little things, things that take some of the pressure off Christine. She has to be getting tired, going nonstop all day. Anything they can do to help, they should. Things seemed to go well with Johnny, so maybe the others can have some success in their attempts to gain your favor once more. 

John will have to stay away for now. Distance is what you need from him. 

That’s alright. He has other things he can do. 

He tries to hide the small grin on his face as you pick up the mug, taking a sip of the tea. 

They’re fighting. 

You stand at the back door watching them throw punches. They’re solid punches, nothing held back, no pulling them. They’re all breathing heavily, two of them watching the other two fight. 

Simon’s fist meets Kyle’s shoulder, Kyle’s fist going for Simon’s head but he’s too fast, ducking before he drives his shoulder into Kyle’s stomach. Kyle hits the grass, disappearing from your view. 

John steps forward, pulling Simon back and speaking to him, but you can’t hear from this distance. 

“Still out there?” Dr. Keller asks, stepping up beside you. 

“Yep.” You say, watching as Johnny takes Kyle’s place against Simon. 

“John did say it would be good for them.” Dr. Keller says, wincing as Johnny’s fist hits Simon’s ribs. 

“They’re gonna start a real fight.” You say, watching as Simon starts to get more aggressive. You can tell because you’ve been in that position before. You’ve seen when that switch starts to flip, when the alpha starts to take over. He was never this aggressive with you, but perhaps even his alpha could be rational given your obvious size and strength difference. 

And the fact you’re an omega. 

“Well, that’s their problem.” Dr. Keller says. “As long as they keep it out there.” 

“They might make you patch them up afterwards.” You say. 

She lets out a snort. “There’s ice packs in the freezer and a first aid kit in the bathroom.” 

You try to hide your smile as you watch John get in between Johnny and Simon, speaking to Simon again. Maybe it will be good for them to get some of that pent up energy out. They’re all used to being so active and always having something to do. Being stuck inside has to be driving them stir-crazy. Simon has been going on runs in the morning, and you know John has been going on walks every so often. 

You’re starting to feel a bit stir-crazy yourself. It’s taking you back to the days shut up in the barracks, unable to go anywhere or do anything, having to entertain yourself for hours while they were gone. At least there you had space and room to move around, even when you were being trailed, one of them constantly following you around. They might not be hovering quite as obviously here, but it still feels suffocating, like you can’t truly have a moment to yourself. 

“I want to go for a walk.” You say, shifting on your feet. The likelihood of you going very far is slim, at least right now. 

How far you’ve fallen from your running days. 

“I suppose you could go for a little walk.” Dr. Keller gives you a sideways glance. “Might be good to help get your strength back. I doubt they’d let us go without one of them, though.” 

“Probably not.” You agree, knowing they won’t even let you sit out on the porch without one of them watching. If you left the house without even telling one of them, all hell would break loose and you’d be condemned to your room once more. 

The thought makes you wince. 

You almost wish you could go out there and throw some punches at one of them. That might make you feel a bit better. Hell, line them all up and you’ll take turns beating the crap out of all of them. Maybe that might heal some of the anger and pain still stuck inside of you. 

That’s an idea for a different day, though. 

It’s oddly warm out today, or at least that’s what Ashley said. Soon the weather will turn, though, and the cold rain will come. Lots of rain. 

Your eyes flick between Ashley and Dr. Keller. The three of you are seated in a circle around a table outside, steaming mugs of tea in front of you. Neither of them are staring at you, instead focused on each other as Ashley speaks. 

Dr. Keller has a crush. 

It’s not hard to tell. Her eyes are focused on Ashley, a smile tugging at her lips. Her gaze only flicks to you when you shift and move in your seat before she’s staring at Ashley again. You can’t blame her. You can hardly bring yourself to look away from Ashely too. 

It makes you almost miss Kyle. 

They have the same soft brown eyes and the same bright smile. They’re both perfect, like they were chiseled out of marble and brought to life. They even laugh the same, a genuine chuckle coming right from the chest. 

It makes you want to laugh, even if you have no clue what was being said. 

How has Kyle been handling this? You’ve hardly paid him any mind. His connection to John puts him too close to the source of your anger and rage and pain. Johnny cries, Simon is a brick wall, John reeks of guilt and misery. Kyle...you don’t know. He’s been a blank spot, a hazy figure in the distance. 

It almost makes you feel bad. You’ve completely cut him off, isolated him. Has he cried? Has he been sulking? How miserable does he feel about everything? Does he feel guilty or miserable at all? He has to. They all do. 

Good. You think. They deserve it. 

“You do get stuck in your head, huh?” 

Your gaze snaps up, looking between Dr. Keller and Ashley. They’re both staring at you quietly, a small smile on Ashley’s face. You did get lost in your thoughts again, stuck in your ruminations as you usually do. Lately it hasn’t been a problem, as you’re alone or with Dr. Keller often. You’re supposed to be thinking and processing. It just happens at the worst times. 

Simon would hate it still. 

“Something specific on your mind?” Dr. Keller asks. 

You probably shouldn’t say anything. How would you explain how your mind went from Dr. Keller crushing on Ashley to hoping the guys feel guilty? You’re not even sure you should reveal that you know about Dr. Keller’s crush, especially if she hasn’t said anything yet. You don’t think she has. They’re not...close in the way a couple would be, a distance still between them. Does Ashley feel the same way? It’s hard to tell since you don’t know her quite as well yet. 

Maybe that can be your goal, besides healing. Something to focus on, something to distract from the constant emotions and pain. Get Ashley and Dr. Keller together. 

They’d be perfect for each other. 

“Not really.” You finally say, looking down at the book in your lap. You’re about halfway through it. It’s fine. Nothing to write home about. 

“What do you think of the book?” Ashley asks, sensing your end to that discussion. She doesn’t push. You like that about her. 

“It’s alright.” You shrug. “Kinda slow.” 

“They are spending a lot of time on character development.” Dr. Keller says. 

“We should keep a tally of how many times the phrase “his dark eyes” gets mentioned.” Ashley says, making you laugh. 

“It’s good to hear you laugh.” Dr. Keller says, smiling at you. 

“It...feels good to laugh again.” You say. “It’s nice to have something to laugh about.” 

“Well then I’m going to make that my mission.” Ashley says, taking a sip of her tea. “Get you to laugh as much as possible.” 

You don’t think you’ll mind that one bit.

The scream dies in your throat as you jolt awake in bed. The book that had been in your hands when you fell asleep drops to the floor with a quiet thud as you jerk up into a seated position. You’re breathing heavily, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you try and calm your racing heart. It’s beating hard like it might beat right out of your chest. You’re shaking, your hands clutching at the baggy shirt you’re wearing like you’re trying to cling to some hope that it was all a dream, that you’re awake now and this is real life. 

Sweat beads on your forehead as you sit there, shaking in the darkness. You need someone. The shadows are closing in around you, your nightlight unable to keep them completely away. You need someone to fight them back. You need someone to reassure you that it was all just a dream, someone that can wipe the tears streaming down your cheeks and whisper softly to you that it’s all okay. That it’s all over. 

You need Kyle. 

Where is Kyle? How do you get to him without waking the others? You could go upstairs but what if they think you’re an intruder? You don’t even know which room Kyle is in. You wish you had a phone. You wish you could call him. You wish you could just telepathically reach out and tell him you need him and only him. 

You’ll wake them all anyway trying to find him. 

You suck a breath in, your hands still shaking as they cling to your shirt. You have to do it. It’s the only way to get them all down here, to get Kyle down here. 

You take a couple deep breaths before you scream. 

Within seconds the house is alive, footsteps racing across the living room towards your room as others thud from above. 

The overhead light stings your eyes, forcing them closed. It’s too bright, intrusive even with your eyes pinched closed. You can still see it behind your eyelids, harsh and too artificial. Just a price you have to pay to get what you need. 

Dr. Keller’s hands are soft as they peel your hands off your shirt, your fingers trembling with nothing to hold on to. They open and close, seeking out something to grip, something to give you an anchor to reality. You’re still panicking, your breaths shaky as you sit there, trembling in fear. 

“You’re alright,” She tries to soothe you, brushing your sweaty hair back. “It was just a dream.” 

You wish it was. 

“Kyle.” The name comes out as barely a whisper, stuttering out of your trembling lips. 

“What was that, sweetie?” Dr. Keller asks, leaning in closer. 

“Kyle.” You whisper louder now, the name shaky in the tense silence of the room. 

“Kyle,” Dr. Keller repeats, standing up straight. 

Quiet, hesitant footsteps approach the bed. Your eyes are still pinched closed against the harsh overhead light. You can’t bring yourself to be brave enough to open them, to face that harsh light. It might reveal the truth, that it was all just a dream, that this is still just a dream. 

It might not be Kyle approaching the bed at all.

You can’t know. You don’t want to know. You’re afraid to open your eyes. 

There’s a click as the lamp is turned on. You still can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. It’s supposed to be comforting, the soft light, but it could be used against you, giving you a false sense of hope and security. 

You flinch as the overhead light is turned off, still too afraid to open your eyes. Your hands have closed around the blanket pooled at your waist, gripping it so tightly your fingers are aching. It’s real. You’re touching it, you can feel the texture of it in your hands. It’s real. 

It’s real. 

Your breaths are shaky as you breathe in and out, trying to catch a scent. Any scent. Something to tell you that you’re really awake, that it really is Kyle standing next to the bed. 

“I’m here.” A soft voice says, something hovering in the air next to you. 

Kyle. 

You know that voice. You’d know it anywhere. 

You finally crack your eyes open, tears brimming as you turn your head to look up. Kyle is standing there awkwardly next to the bed, his hand raised as if he was reaching out to comfort you, but thought better of it. You’re glad he did. You might have spiraled into another panic if he’d touched you before you knew it was him. 

You stare at his hand for a moment before you peel one of your hands away from the blanket. Your hand is shaky as you lift it, reaching out towards his own trembling fingers. 

His fingers are warm and rough, just as you remember as they close around yours. You’re still shaking, a cold sweat forming on your skin as fear trickles down your spine. 

What if this is a dream? What if this isn’t real?

“I’m here.” He says, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles. 

You want to believe him. You really do. 

You pull his hand closer, pressing your cheek against it. His skin is warm against your cheek, and like Johnny, he makes no complaints about your sweat smearing on his skin. You’ve been that close to them before, sweat mixing together, slicking skin. How far things have fallen since then. 

Your tears drip onto his skin as you hold him there, just breathing him in for a moment. He smells like the sea, but with that soft, light scent underneath. You missed that scent, more than you realize you did. 

You let out a quiet sound as you rub your cheek against his hand, almost like you’re trying to embed his scent under your skin. 

He doesn’t say anything as you lean against his hand, tears still streaming down your face. The lamp is pushing some of the darkness away, but it’s not enough. It’s never enough. You can still feel the eyes from the dark corners of the room, the shadowy figures just out of view threatening to reach out and tear you away. 

A shudder runs down your spine, your fingers squeezing around Kyle’s in what has to be a painful grip. 

“I’m here.” He says again, pulling you from the dark thoughts plaguing your mind. He’d know if someone was here. He’d know if anything threatening was nearby. 

It’s his job. 

The job. 

The thing that’s kept you so separated from them, kept you at a distance. The thing that put your life in danger, that exposed them all as liars. The thing that’s left you an empty shell.

Maybe having him down here was a mistake. 

But the shadows...

You tug on his hand, pulling him closer to the bed. He sinks down on the edge carefully, still a bit hesitant. You don’t blame him. It’s not like you’ve been the most welcoming of them. For good reason. 

You need him right now. That need for safety and security far outweighs the conflicting emotions battling in your brain right now. 

“Stay.” You say, the word tumbling out from your trembling lips. 

“You’re sure?” He asks, his thumb still stroking your knuckles. You’re not sure if he even knows he’s doing it. 

You nod, tugging him closer as you scoot over in bed. He lets you guide him, laying on top of the covers.

You try not to think about it too much. 

It’s nice having him close. The shadows don’t seem quite as dark, the threats in them silent now that he’s here. He’ll keep you safe. He’ll protect you from the silent threats. That’s why you want him. That’s his role to play in all of this. They all have roles, they all have their places in the pack. They all have a part to play, not just for you but for each other. 

They’ve been struggling. 

They’re struggling because you’re struggling. 

The silence is loud as you lay there listening to the hum of electricity. You’re not quite sure what to say, how to break the silence. What is there to say that you haven’t already conveyed by your silence? What is there to say beyond what you’ve conveyed in your anger? They all heard your outburst, they all know the source of your anger and what they did to cause it. 

What’s left to say when you have nothing tying you together anymore except a claim and a half-broken bond? What is there to say when saying the wrong thing might fray that bond even more than it already has been? 

“I’m sorry.” Kyle says, finally breaking the tense silence. 

Of course he’d start with that. 

You let out a huff, turning on your side to face away from him. “I know you all are. You don’t have to keep saying it.” 

He lets out a sigh. He knows it. He’s not apologizing to you, for you. “Nothing can change what we did and we know that. We just...want you to know that we’ll do whatever it takes to help you and support you. We don’t want to push that boundary too far, but we’re all here if you need us.” 

You let out a hum. You already know that too. That’s why Johnny came so willingly, that’s why he stayed. That’s why they all tiptoe around you and stare at you like you’re a wild animal that may strike at any moment. 

Part of you wishes they wouldn’t. 

Part of you wants to go back to the way things were. Part of you wants to pretend that everything is normal again, that you love them and they love you just as much. You want to go back to that comfortable, seamless flow of one around the other, the way they all moved in sync, aware of each other without even needing to look. You want to insert yourself into that flow again and let them guide you along with them. You want to trust them blindly again and know they’d catch you if you fall. 

They proved they won’t though. They proved you can’t trust them to catch you. You’re on your own again, forced to catch yourself, forced to save yourself. You have to make that rope to catch yourself with. 

Yet, a deeper part of you yearns for that connection. Your omega screams for it, for your alpha, for your pack. You want them back with you, you want the bonds to heal and to be stronger than they were before. You want them to do as they said and prove to you that they’ve changed, that they're putting you first. 

The omega should be first. The omega should be the center. The omega should be the sun they gravitate towards, revolve around.

That’s what the book said. That book that’s sitting on your desk in the barracks. That book you read over and over, convincing yourself that it was true and they were a good pack like that book said. 

They’re not. 

We all make mistakes. 

They’ve never had an omega before. How are they supposed to know how to have an omega in their pack if they’ve never had one before? None of them came from big packs. John is the only one who’s ever even dated an omega before. They’re just as new at this as you are. 

You probably know more than them. 

You spent years learning how to be an omega in a pack. You read the books and wrote the essays and did the research. You read that book. 

Simon read that book too. 

Yet he did nothing. 

“Why did you want me?” Kyle asks softly, pulling you from your ruminations. 

You turn your head to look at him, staring into those soft brown eyes. Brown eyes you’ve missed. Tears trail down your cheeks as you stare at him, wetting the paths of the ones that had slowed to a stop in your rumination. 

Why did you want him and not Johnny? 

Johnny was the one that came for you, that comforted you, that got you through your fever. Johnny was the one you asked to hold you, to give you that support you’ve been so desperately clawing for. 

So why did you ask for Kyle?

You turn onto your back again so you’re laying side by side, your shoulder brushing his. He’s warm, and you just want to nuzzle into him and never let him go again. 

Another tear slides down your face as you stare at him, at that concerned look on his face. “I need you to tell me it’s going to be okay.” 

That concern morphs into understanding as he shifts slightly, reaching out for you. You let him, you let his thumb brush the tear sliding down your cheek away. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just staring at you as you lay there in the warm light of the lamp. The shadows don’t seem so close now, so threatening with him here. The things that lay in the darkness waiting for you to sleep so they can seep into your mind and stir up the horrible memories lying there in wait are at bay for now, fought off just simply by his existence in this room. 

His thumb continues to brush your cheek, your skin tingling along the path it follows. “It’s going to be okay.” He says softly, quietly. 

You’re not sure if he’s convincing you of that or himself, or perhaps both. You don’t know what he’s feeling, what he’s been feeling. You’ve been ignoring him, pushing him away out of fear that if you looked too closely, you’d break down. That bond will never break between the two of you, held tight with steel simply because of that claim your alpha and his alpha has on the both of you. No matter how much you hate John, that bond can’t be broken. It can’t be cut. It can’t go away. It can’t be denied. Not completely. 

A small smile tugs at Kyle’s lips, a reassuring smile. His words are stronger this time, spoken with more conviction and surety, like he’s speaking it into existence, manifesting it for the future when things perhaps can be different. 

When things are better. 

“It’s going to be okay.” He says, cupping your cheek, staring right into your eyes as he speaks. “We’re going to be okay.” 

NEXT ->

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[jessjad]

Rightfully deceived

Chapter 1

Summary: When a marriage promise forces Y/N to step up for her younger sister, she gets something she always wanted. But when the truth comes out, her new husband Dean is not so happy about the mix-up. Will she loose it all? Or will she be surprised in the end?

Pairing: AU!Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 3487

Warnings: 18+ only!!! arranged marriage, lying, some nerves, smut, lost of virginity, first time

A/N: Ya'll get this chapter a day early, because I have two weeks off of work now! 🥳 Okay, here we go. Let's see how this wedding went down. All mistakes are mine! Enjoy! 😊

Series Masterlist My Masterlist

The day before...

"Please, Y/N! You need to help me out here."

The noise in the castle had become significantly louder after the guests had arrived two hours ago. Dean Winchester only had a few men with him, but that didn't make them any less loud. The wedding preparations were largely complete and soon they would have to go downstairs for the evening's feast.

But Helena didn't want to go down. She didn't even want to go through with the marriage the next morning. The younger woman was holding Y/N's hands like a plea with tears in her eyes and had just revealed her great plan of escaping the gruesome future their father had sold her to. Which were Helenas words, not hers.

Apparently she and the young man she was activly seeing in the last months wanted to elope and get married on their own. Y/N had known that these two were very fond of eachother, but she had never thought that it was that serious. Especially not when you have a man like Dean Winchester on your side that shows interest in you.

"Listen, Y/N... " spoke Helena again and brought her back out of her thoughts. "... there is now way this can go wrong. Noone's going to know until the next morning."

"Helena..."

"He won't see you until late in the night. If he's even able to get up the stairs to your bedroom after the wedding celebration." she tried to reason.

"But eventually he will find out that I'm the wrong bride!"

"But then you're already married!"

Y/N huffed and freed her hands out of her sisters grip. This was ridiculous.

"And you think that will make him soften and forget the fact that he got betrayed?"

Now Helena was a little lost for words. "Well... it's not... really betrayal..."

"Yes, it is, Lena! It is betrayal. And what do you think he will do with the arrangment he made with our father? Have you thought about that?"

Silence filled the room, but Y/N could see that Helena was a little fuming inside. Of course her sister did not think about the consequences of her actions and just wanted to do what she wanted. And as the older one Y/N should just say no. But this was Dean they were talking about. Her heart was a little biased here.

"I'm sorry. Y/N. But I'm not going to marry him. I love Peter and he will come and pick me up tonight."

"What?"

"I will be gone in the morning. And if you really care about me, you will let me go and help me out."

Over this revelation Y/N was just stunned and watched Helena turned around and leave the room.

Now...

They all had to be in the chapel in an hour and Helena had made her promise true. Last evening at the feast she was sitting next to Dean, talking to him and being her usual self. And to everyone else very visible, Dean was only even more fond of her as he already had been. It had broken Y/N's heart to watch the scene. Before they went to bed Y/N again had tried to reason with her, but as she knew her younger sister she remained stubborn.

"Where is your sister, Y/N?" her father came over and asked. "She needs to dress and her maid is nowhere to be found."

A little panic rose in her chest. As soon as she was awake, Y/N had looked for Helena, but she was really gone. If she was honest, she could not entirely blame her for going after her heart. She knew how it felt to be in love. It just had been the worst moment to do so. And now, she was running out of time.

"Just... sent Millicent to her. She can help her getting dressed."

Millicent was her own maid and once she was in Helenas room she would understand. Y/N made a decision then and there. After her father left again she ran as fast as she could over to her sisters room and hid in there, waiting for Millie. The dress and veil was already laying on the bed and her heart squeezed a little upon that sight. A knock on the door made her hide behind the screen before she asked who was outside. Whe she heared the voice of her maid she released a relieved sigh.

"Come in and close the door behind you." Y/N said and waited before she came back out from behind the screen.

"Mylady? What..."

"Let noone else enter the room until I'm fully dressed in the gown."

Whilst Millicent's eyes widened in surprise, Y/N already tried to get out of her own dress. After a few seconds of struggleling her maid rushed forward to help her.

"But why are you putting on the dress that belongs to your sister?"

With a small huff Y/N turned to her maid. In the safe space of an empty room with only them two alone in it, they could drop the formal speech and behave freely like the friends they had become over the years.

"She's gone. My sister's gone, Millie."

"What?" came Millie's shocked response. "When?"

Y/N finally stepped into the wedding dress and pulled it up her body over her shoulders. It was a beautiful dress. Red and gold. Expensive. Heavy. And she fitted barely into it. Not only was she a little shorter than her sister, Helena had always been the skinnier one of the two.

"Last night. She didn't want to marry Dean and ran away."

"With this Peter guy?"

"Yeah..."

Millie began to close the dress up on the back and Y/N started to think again. This would only be a temporary fix for the current situation. The calm before the storm.

"So... what is the plan?" the maid asked into the silence.

"Get through the day. Marry Dean... and hope he doesn't completely freak out tomorrow."

Millicent came back around, flatening the fabric on her shoulders before reaching for the veil. The two women looked at eachother for a moment and Y/N knew that her friend understood her internal struggle. She was the only one Y/N had told that she was in love with Dean and it dawned on both that this was going to be a big deal.

A sudden knock on the door startled them and Millie hurried to get the veil over Y/N's head just in time, before the door opened. Her father was stepping in to see if the bride to be was finally ready.

"Oh Helena... you look so beautiful." he smiled and looked so proud. Y/N' stomache started to turn.

"Thanks." she whispered and tried to mimic her sisters lighter voice.

"Well. it's time to go. Your husband is waiting!" he exclaimed excited and left the room again, totaly oblivious to the tension that had build up with every passing second.

Once the women were alone again, Y/N closed her eyes under the veil and took some deep breaths. But when she felt the veil lift a little she opned them back up again and saw Millicent look at her worried.

"Are you ready?" the woman asked quietly.

"No."

Dean's hands were warm. His smile was gentle and he looked really happy. And just for a second Y/N thought it was because of her. Looking up into his smiling face made her heart burst with love for this man who had no idea that he was getting betrayed right at this moment. And just like that the guilt sat in, making her feel bad for doing this in an instant.

"I do." she heard him say with his rich, dark voice before he turned his head back again to the woman by his side.

Now it was her turn to say it. The pastor was already finished with his speech and everyone was waiting for her to answer. She looked back into the room full of people she loved and cared about. Her father already beckoning her to say something with his eyes. She turned her head back to Dean and tears started to sting her eyes.

If he only would've looked at her more than once. If he only would've tried to get to know her too. Maybe he would've fallen in love with her as well. She was not like Helena. Not so pretty and skinny and beautiful. She knew that. But Y/N had always tried to engage in the conversations with him. To make him notice her, see her too. However, it never really worked the way she wished for. But at least for this moment, no matter how short it would be, she wanted to try and make him happy. She wanted to be the woman by his side.

"I do."

Dean felt good. Really good. He was married to a woman that he was truly fond of. She was younger, sure, but that did not seem to bother her too. And now, they could officially be together. To that he had to smile. He reached for his cup and drank a big sip of the whiskey, whilst he looked around the room.

The celebration of his wedding were only midway through, but Helena had already excused herself. She seemed to be a little nervous and obviously wanted to get a little alone time with the other women. He could not blame her. This night would be special, for both of them. Eventhough he already knew what was coming.

"You got a pretty big smile on there, brother."

At that Dean had to chuckle. His younger brother Sam sat down in the empty chair nex to his and sported a smug smile on his face.

"I'm married, Sammy. I've been waiting for this a little while."

"Yeah, but at home were women too that would've married you on the spot."

Dean did not need to ask who he meant. They both knew Sam was talking about Cassie.

"But I always wanted Helena. And now she's my wife."

They both cheered with eachother. Everyone was in a good mood.

"Are you happy?" Sam asked after a couple of moments and Dean turned back to his brother.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

Within the next hour the music got a little louder and people drank more and more. It was an exuberant evening. And even though Dean tried not to drink too much alcohol himself, he couldn't hold back because of the good mood. Sam stayed by his side the entire time and a few other of his men joined them to drink and celebrate. It was fun, but he still noticed something.

"Have you seen Y/N?"

Upon that question Sam let his gaze roam over the other participants, but he too could not see her.

"No. Why?"

"I don't know. It's just... I have not seen her all day."

"Okay... so what?" Sam asked. "She's probably busy with other things. She'll have to say goodbye to her sister tomorrow and she's surely with Helena right now." To that Dean nodded his head. "Just like her maid."

"Her maid?" now it was Dean's turn to look at his brother a little surprised. "You mean Millicent?"

"Urm... yeah... if... if that's her name." Sam answered and cleared his throat.

"Ooohh, Sammy! Do you like her?" Dean grined.

"No! Just... shut up." he protested, but the slight red tinge on his cheeks told otherwise.

Dean laughed and kept quiet. But only for a moment.

"Technically she would be older than you."

"Dean, I swear!"

"Okay, okay!"

The older Winchester held his hands up in defeat, but he could not stop the smile on his face. His brother was never a good liar.

Y/N had left the celebration shortly after the food was served. Her nerves had gotten the best of her. She was sweating under the veil and with Dean so close to her she had a really hard time not to give away that it was her and not Helena. But her husband had fun and she did not wanted to ruin it for him.

When she arrived at the new bedroom, Millicent was already there and had prepared a bath for her. The roaring fire in the fireplace had heated up the room nicely. Winter was starting to come around and the nights got colder and colder.

After getting out of the heavy wedding dress and sliding into the hot bath she felt like she could breath again. Millicent stayed with her until she was ready to fall face first into the bed and just sleep the day away. Which seemed to work, but not for long.

It was already late at night and the fire was out long ago, when Y/N heared the door opening to the now shared room. Heavy footsteps followed and she started to hold her breath. To her luck she was laying with her face to the door, away from the window. If she was honest to herself, she had hoped she would be left alone tonight. That Dean maybe would drink so much that he fell asleep in the dining hall. But it seems she was out of luck here.

He stumbled through the room, hitting his foot once or twice on the side of the bed. It was pretty cloudy so there was not much moonlight to illuminate the room. He kicked off his boots and it sounded like he sat down in the armchair near the window.

"Urgh... 'shouldn't have the last drink..." Dean slurred which was followed by a smacking sound.

The next thing she heard was fabric falling to the ground. That was it, right? Now it would happen. Her heart started to beat faster and when she felt the bed dip next to her, she tried to stay as still as possible. After a few seconds the room fell silent again. Only when she started to hear light snoring from behind her, she allowed herself to relax again and drift back to sleep.

The next thing that startled her awake was the warm feeling on her back. It had gotten cold in the room, it was still dark outside and she tried to lean in more into the warm feeling. The heavy arm that was laying over her middle hiked up a little higher, pressing her more to the warm chest.

Upon that realization Y/N opened abruptly her eyes, her heart starting to pick up speed again. But she was not the only one who was awake now. Dean started to kiss softly along her neckline and down to her shoulder. His lips touched her light as a feather and still it set her skin on fire. Then his scent hit her nose. He smelled like wood, whiskey and something warm.

What was she supposed to do now? Noone had really talked to her about every detail with this. What was expected from her and what she had to do. Dean's hands began slowly to explore her body. Careful and gentle. But as soon as his warm hand touched her bare leg she could not hold back a soft moan. His hands felt rough and a little calloused but still his touches were soft.

Dean layed one of his legs over hears so that she had to turn on her back. A little nervous again she did not look into his face. Yes, it was dark, but somehow she feared he would recognize her anyways. With soft fingertips on her cheek Dean turned her face towards him and touched her nose with his, before his lips landed on hers. This feeling was new and almost overwhelming.

On reflex she pressed her hands on his chest only to feel that he was not wearing any clothes. A thrill went through her veins and she let her hands wander over his firm, strong chest. Dean groaned softly and deepened the kiss. Surprised by his actions she opened her lips a little and the man waisted no time to let his tounge slip into her mouth. The only thing she could do was mimic his actions and it felt so good. She did not know if she was doing it right and if, Dean did not let it show.

Now Dean got more adventurous. He rolled on top of her, cageing her in with his arms and nestled between her legs. Y/N could feel something hard against her thigh and there was only one explanation what it could be. It made her feel funny between her legs and somehow it scared her a little. She broke from the kiss, taking deep breaths in and Dean seemed to sense the small change in her.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll be gentle. I promise."

Y/N did not really know what he meant by that and before she could really think about it, one of his hands made their way down between her legs. Oh god, he was about to feel that something was going on there. She tried to close er legs but it was nearly impossible with him laying in between and holding her legs apart with his own.

Another moan left her lips when his fingers touched her sex, massaging her heated core and rubbing soft circles over a certain point that made her feel even better. She began to buckle her hips a little and Dean hummed satisfied before he kissed her again.

His hand picked up speed and she started to feel something build up deep withhin her. She felt one of his fingers enter her but it did not hurt. It only intensified this feeling that had her thriving underneath him now.

"That's it. Yeah, let me feel you."

Dean whispered in her ear and then she couldn't hold it anymore. The sensation was just to much to handle, her moans had become louder and louder and it felt like a hot liquid poured through her body and made her shake, before she collapsed. Her chest was heaving and for a moment she did not understand what had happend just now.

Dean kissed down her jaw to her collarbone and sucked the skin into his mouth. Slowly she came down from this high, but her husband did not stop just there. His lips sucking in her skin distraced her enough before she felt the pressure against her entrance. This was it. This was consummating the marriage.

"Take a deep breath for me." and she did as Dean told her.

With one calculated thrust of his hips he was deep insight her. There was a small sting of pain that did not fade away so fast, but the pressure inside her was the one thing that she really had to get used to. Dean held still, his hands were stroking softly through her hair and when he felt her relax again, he started to move.

Slow at first, so that she had time to adjust to him but that did not take long. He picked up his pace and with every move it started to feel good again. The pain turned into something more and then the coil and pressure in her middle was there again. Now Dean moaned louder as well and she held onto his shoulders.

Just when Y/N thought she could not handle it anymore, she felt Dean's movements get a little out of rhythm and his breathing got heavier. And with his last poweful thrust he took her with him over the edge again while he spilled his hot seed deep insight her with a groan. His forehead landed on her shoulder and Y/N stroked a hand through his hair. Dean kissed her again slow and sloppy, before he rolled down from her and layed on his back.

The slight disappointment that settle in on her upon losing the skin to skin contact with the man she loved, did not surprise her. This was not how she had imagined it, it was better. It was to much and not enough at the same time. So she tried to relish in this bliss that she felt and turned on her sight to face him.

Exhaustion was pulling on her and it got harder and harder to stay awake. Eventually she gave in and closed her eyes with the feeling of an heavy arm on her hip that pulled her close again.

When she woke up the next morning she felt good. Tired and a little sore, but good. The sun was already high up and provided a little warmth. She opened her eyes and saw Dean's face first. He was still laying on his side and supported his head on his hand, looking down at her.

She smiled and was ready to greet him, when the memories flooded back into her conciousness. Her eyes widened in shock as she heard him talk.

"And who do we have here?"

A/N: It all went well until... it didn't. 🙈 The cat's out. What will happen next? Let me know what you think. Feedback is very much appreciated! 💜

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[seventhcallisto]

Chapter 1 — "why didn't you answer my call?"

—Deep Down.

Toc/cw; read prologue or you'll be v confused!! Touching. Nothing much except world building. Language. Heats are the omega equivalent for periods(without the bl00d). I said what I said. Heat suppressants work, they just sedate the need for a knot(#worldbuilding). Angst at the end, lots of it throughout(it gets better I swear.)

It's not a surprise when the majority of unanswered texts come from mingi. You left without warning, and to think; he thinks he was the one who sent you to the hospital. All because he simply bumped into you. You feel bad. You feel terrible. Yet you're so scared you're gonna say something and reveal what really is going on.

Your hip, ankle, shoulder, and elbow ache. Your hips for two reasons. You scratch at the bandage on your elbow.

"You want me to lie?" You mumbled into the speaker. On the other side is your manager, no, not jongsik, but the overly obsessive and pushy manager that takes care of most of the groups publicity and what can and will be said. "I don't want to lie to them, they'll figure it out" you continue, growing more upset.

"Just until your next uhm. Cycle. Then the company can break the news publicly and personally to them." Song Pilyoung. Mr. Pil. Answers, as if expecting you to say that.

It hasn't even been a day since your last heat. You're supposed to keep up with your lies and completely change demeanor and body back to your old self for a month? When you know your obvious behavior will be to coddle and preen at any affections from the alphas you so desperately missed during your heat.

Seonghwa, who knows when the slightest thing is off with you. Who can tell when you're sick based on how you act and watches you so intensely under his pretty keen eyes, even when he bites you, ever so gently, you think, compared to the aggressive chomps he does to the rest of the guys.

Yeosang, who genuinely likes to be near anything that smells like you or makes him think of you, which he shyly admitted, who ever so gently leans his head on your shoulder when he has a stressful day. Yeosang who you constantly are seen next to, brushing arms gently with.

Mingi who continously hugs and drags his long limbs across you, because you're the only member who won't complain and will put up with him, who shares his food with you, but only you because he likes the way you follow him without questioning what it is you're being fed. but it's indulgent. You like how he casts himself on you and the way he grabs your chin when he wants you to try a piece of food.

Yunho who can't help but hold your hand whenever he's next to you, because an alpha and beta can have that public privacy without being seen as dating, yet you hope he doesn't feel the quickening pulse vibrating your fingers, yunho who defends your name and includes you in any type of conversation if you're nearby.

San who, for some reason, always flirts with you the hardest, only for you to plainly respond or brush him off because you're a beta, and you tell him so - not because you know he doesn't mean what he says, right?. San who sits side by side with you and makes sure the blanket covers you when you sit at award shows, even going as far as to take his own suit jacket off and maybe cover you from prying eyes.

Wooyoung, who gatekeeps you too much when he gets the chance, who stands behind you to make sure you get up the stairs safely, and so no one peeks up at you. Who always tells you about the drama with other alphas cause he knows you don't gossip, wooyoung whos smile makes you smile, whos lips make yours want to gravitate towards them.

Jongho, who you baby yourself - but always steps up to take anything on your shoulders that seems too heavy. Even during any type of game, he'll give you the answer and never regret it. He who will share his jacket and shuffle closer when he sees you shivering. When his eyes meet yours across the room just because you assumed he was searching for something, he holds the contact until you pull away. he warms you more than the jacket he lends you whenever it seems the slightest bit cold.

Hongjoong, who lets you sleep in his bed when you have a nightmare, who people say favorites you the most. how his calming scent always drags you under and sparks fireworks within you, how you never indulged yourself to scoot closer and be wrapped up in his arms anywhere at any time whenever he looks at you. He who leaves his clothing in your room, who silents everyone immediately when he knows you have something to say.

When did you realize you felt like this? For a while, actually, you would never say that, though. Feelings are feelings, yet you'll be with these guys the rest of your life, and you don't want to ruin anything. Plus, you're just another pack member. You're genuinely sure all of those moments can be because they're protective. You highly doubt they feel the same.

"I can't promise anything" you sigh as you tell Mr. Pil. "Great, I've got a driver on his way to you already, he's picked up everything you'll need for the month."

Perfect.

You see yourself out of the idle apartment. "Bye, gorgeous!" Yuqi and shuhua wave down the hallway. Miyeon is the one to walk you down, making sure you make it out safely.

You've washed yourself of their scent as much as you can. A bag of fresh, unworn and recently bought clothes are given to you provided by miyeon after your shower. You've got to undo ever being there, so you scrub yourself free of every scent of them. A new bottle of shampoo, conditioner, body soap, and perfume is given to you. Each of the members have an assortment of things they don't use or didn't want anymore. Which is very convenient for you.

From the pile, they each pick out things beta-you would have liked. Current omega-you doesn't have the same nose beta-you had. So you have to rely on your best friends' scents and recollection to give you things you would have liked. Which is how you smell as close to as you did before. You just tweaked a bit because you gotta like at least some of your smell. The girls give in. Your new permanent scent. A smell; omega-you indulges in which you didn't before. A lingering scent of sweets and tropicals you try not to get used to under the chaotic neutral tone your old scent gave off, a love-hate feeling.

You pull the hoodie snug. Miyeons pants are a bit tight, considering she doesn't work out as much as you do. A plain black and white track suit. "This is me," you sigh as the sleek black car pulls up. Miyeon is silent, yet you wait for her to speak anyway. "You're always welcomed here, you know that, right?" She nudges your shoulder with her hand.

"I know."

"And if you need anything. Anything. you call or text." She adds. "I know." "You know we love you, new sex and all" she smiles, you laugh. "That's very reassuring, thanks, love you too." You want to hug her, but you'll know it'll undo the scent process you just spent all morning working on.

"If anyone gives you problems, tell em idles' got your back." she grins, pressing a single digit finger to your forehead. "Bye cutie pie," she ushers you off the sidewalk and towards the car.

The ride back is full of anxiety. How are you supposed to explain the reason you haven't responded to the number of messages they left? Maybe cause you were actually too busy going through a terrible, disgusting, uncomfortable heat by yourself with no relief for days on end.

You can't say that though.

"Mr. Chen, are the guys at the apartment?" You speak to the driver. He's an older omega man, one you've come to know personally. The man in the passenger seat, an alpha, doesn't seem to care when you talk to him. "No miss, they're at the stadium filming." Chen glances at you through the rear-view mirror. "Filming?" You repeat. "Yes ma'am, filming for the music video starts today.."

Right. Of course. How could you forget? You've memorized everything down to the tiniest detail in the span of two weeks before your sudden omega sex came and distracted you. But you doubt you'll be picture perfect. At least in your own eyes.

The car passes the turn to your apartment. You can see the building in the distance. "Mr Chen, are we not going to the apartment?" The man in the passenger seat sits up and turns around to look at you. His eyes hold irritation. "Listen, beta, we're going to the filming site. Yeah? Got it? Be patient. Sit back."

If you were childish enough, you would have kicked his seat. You scoff. Falling back, letting the disrespect go. You gotta let it go. Don't fist fight a random alpha with a superiority complex.

Don't do it.

As soon as chen comes to a stop at the designated location, the alpha pops open his car door. You wait for him to get between your door and his. Boom. You slam your door open on his tush.

He pulls back, glancing between you and the door. There's a flare to his nostrils. One, you know only a pissed person would showcase. And god, is it satisfying to slam the door behind you and smile like the petty person you are.

"Woops," you simply say. His pissed face urks you to stand your ground. He doesn't hesitate to walk up to you, a crazed look in his eyes. "You-"

Your name is called in the distance, and you know exactly who's calling it. Your head whips, and your heart skips a beat. Running straight towards you are the guys, emerging straight from the field to your right. They look unreal, like they popped out of a commercial.

Mingi is the first to slam into you.

"Hey, ow!" You laugh, pulling him in tighter. The alpha, whose energy dissipates, turns away as if he wasn't about to go off on you.

Mingis arms are a welcoming feeling. He twirls you around, taking on your weight like it's his own. There's a certain desperation in his tight hold. You feed into it, pulling him just as tightly by the shoulders.

"Are you okay? Why didn't you answer my calls?" He pulls away only enough to scan your face. Maybe you really shouldn't, but mingis face is picture perfect. Whatever the makeup artists have done to make him look this good, it surely is based on hard work and years of perfection. Or maybe it's just mingi.

You stutter to answer, "I'm sorry, I wasn't.. really allowed to" it's half the truth. His hands fall to your hips, silent as he takes you in. "I'm sorry," he says, pulling his lip under his teeth. He genuinely looks sorry. Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Mingi! No, I'm fine, completely." You pull his hands off you, missing the smell of sea salt and jasmine. You spin around. "Fine! See? Mingi.. i-"

Another pair of arms scoop you up. Silencing whatever you were saying, it's yunho this time, smiling ear to ear. And immediately after, waiting patiently next to mingi is San, his eyes flicker behind you, but as soon as you look his way, he catches your face. "Hey," he says so simply, with that sneaky grin he always has, yet you can tell he wants to say more.

"Hi," you say simply back, pulling both Yunho and San into a tighter hug. "How was it?" San asks, his voice is so sultry, something you missed, your mind goes haywire. "What?" Your face falls. "How was being away for so long? You missed us, right?" San laughs.

"Missed you? Never," you joke, pushing them both away when you catch Jongho and Yeosang jogging over. Jongho scoops you up next. His arms are tough, obviously, from working out so much lately. You take a well needed whiff of him. Fresh florals, mahogany, charred sandalwood, and laundry invade your nostrils. His head falls over yours, pulling back to let yeosang get a hug. Yeosangs arms are lean, but his hug is soft when he pulls you close, breathing you in.

Wooyoung and Seonghwa are last. Which you find surprising. Seonghwa, who usually pulls you into a half hug- full-on, brings you in. He smells like leather, dark coffee, and vanilla cream. There's so much more, but you're pulling away before you can smell him some more. Wooyoung locks you in, tilting you on your heels back and forth. He's the smiliest of the bunch. He sets his face on your shoulder, and his hands squeeze your sides comfortably. San scoots past the two of you, popping open the trunk.

The trunk, where your bag is. Full of assortments of scent blockers, heat suppressants, and the many smells the girls gave you so you can get by for the month smelling like your old self. Panic sets in, yet you try to seem as casual as you can when you twist in wooyoungs hands. "San, I got it!" You somewhat shout. San looks up, confused, pulling the shoulder strap over his shoulder. Wooyoung still has you in the tightest embrace around your waist.

"You really want to carry your own bags?" Yunho scoffs at the idea, mingi takes the other bag next to san. One you don't even remember throwing in. "I'm a big girl. I can take my own bags," you mumble. Wooyoung laughs from just over your shoulder. His lean body presses directly into your back. He's so very warm. You try not to think about it, opting to continue struggling.

"Woo, c'mon," you slump, you're not getting to that bag. It's no use, you're too exhausted to fight against him. He laughs. "It's just one bag beta, I'm sure your big girl attitude can be put aside for now," Woo loosens his hold around your waist, patting your hip with his large palm.

Seonghwa continues for him, a certain upset tone in his voice. "You just got out of the hospital. I don't know why you're here instead of resting at home."

You gulp when San slings the backpack around. "What did the hospital give you anyways?" He chuckles. You count heads, realizing hongjoong isn't here. "Where's -" the door behind you slams.

The alpha from before storms around the driver side. Everyone stops to stare. San shares a look with seonghwa. "What's his problem?" Wooyoung whispers to you, his breath fanning your ear. You scoff silently. "Egocentric alpha." You grumble.

"Got it," he laughs, he's missed you. Pulling you away. The guys all fall behind you two.

The cold of spring is fading away. It no longer nips at your nose. Soon, summer will roll around, and filming will get exhausting more than it already is. Your clothes whip around at the slight gusts of wind. Your makeup isn't caked on for once. Thankfully, you have a new makeup artist this time. Your scent still lingers. You'd have to reapply scent blockers soon. The bottle shifts between your fingertips, twisting and pulling at the lid. You subtly rub it around your scent glands. The chatter of the guys behind you cast in the background of your attention. Hongjoong is just a little bit away. You haven't seen him since you got there. Makeup and clothing took at least an hour or two.

Even though he's right there, you miss him. Hongjoong stands by the filming aquitment, speaking with the crew. You take your time walking up, having just now realized hongjoongs hair is back to the pretty brown you know suits him.

"Joong," you call, a blanket shrugged over your exposed shoulders. His shoulder straightened at your voice; his head whipped around. "Hey!" He calls, a genuine smile lighting up his features.

Hongjoongs figure is still so welcoming. The pack leader has always had that effect on you. It takes everything in you to pull away from the hug. "We missed you," he says earnestly, his hand resting on your neck where your scent gland is. "How are you feeling?"

You sigh, "I'm feeling good," it's somewhat true, although genuinely exhausted from the entire week of being poked and provoked by doctors and annoying alphas. what really got you was your first heat.

"You should be at home, not working." He huffs, reaching up to pull the blanket over you further. "I want to work," you nod, confirming it to yourself. He chuckles. "Yeah, right"

"Take it easy, kay?" You smile. "No promises"

It's the next day when the sun begins to set. You realize you're your biggest enemy. You will never be satisfied with how you contort your body to follow steps. 4,5,6. You repeat. 4,5,6. You stare as you watch yourself perform on the monitor.

There's a tension in the air, the staff can feel it, and the guys can feel it. Everyone moves around freely around you, the guys getting ready to perform the next sequence of steps. Yet you don't care if you're the one giving that tense energy off, your feet stand firm. "One more time, please," you ask the tech crew to repeat the video. A hand falls on your shoulder. Yunho calls your name softly. "Yeah?" You respond, not paying attention to what he says.

4. 5. 6. 4.5.6.

You watch as your lines loosen. This solo shot of you is cursed. Why can't you keep your movements sharp? "Beta," yunho calls firmly. You lift your head, catching his brown eyes with your own. "You're perfect." he guides your chin when you want to turn your attention back to the monitor. "No- look, my arms -" you go to point.

Yunho roughly turns you fully towards the monitor, and his hands fall by your waist. His chest presses against your back as he bends over you, and his head leans over your shoulder. "Look," he takes the word from your mouth. Pointing at your arms as you dance around on screen. "Your arms are fine." His silver hair brushes against your cheek. "There's nothing wrong with your shot. It's perfect."

And it's not because the alpha uses his firm voice to make you listen. It's the way yunho so passionately stares at you, like he believes what he says wholeheartedly. His eyes never slip from over your shoulder, even when yours keep falling back to the monitor.

"Okay," you listen. Yunhos hands fall off you, stepping away. You miss his warmth.

You're a week into the month when suspicion arises. Seonghwa is the one that finds your unopened bottle of scent blockers. "Hey," he says, twiddling the bottle in his nimble fingers. Your eyes shoot up from your phone, watching him stand in your doorway. "Are these yours? None of us had to get a refill." it's such a normal question because seonghwa doesn't think about it. All of the guys use scent blockers to perform for concerts or events.

But you're honestly choking. "I uh- I got a new bottle last week," you gulp. Quick, excuse. Excuse!. "Oh" His eyebrows furrowed. You haven't performed in about a month since the comeback is soon. "Yeah, i - that smell thing I had going on? That's what those are for." You loosely point.

"They're supposed to help," you gulp. Please take the hook. Seonghwas eyes scan you over once again, then back at the bottle. "Are they working?" He finally says. You blank.

"I don't know, can't really tell," you mumble. "Can you?" You sit up, scooting further down your bed. Seonghwa walks into your room. His scent mixes in with the smell you've had to endure all week. "Yeah, I suppose." You can see the gears behind his eyes moving.

"You suppose?" Your eyebrows furrowed. He bites on his lip, pulling at his earring. "Mm, you smell like you usually do.. but.." he thinks about it, scanning your room. His eyes finally fall on your face, urging him to continue. "Never mind."

Seonghwa exits your room without another word. You're in silence by yourself. The suspicion makes your anxiety skyrocket. He left his shirt behind on your bed.

You take it. Why not?

Hongjoong is late coming back again from the studio. He smells stressed beyond belief, even from where you sit across the apartment. He hangs his jacket up in the hallway. And you hear the slow pattern of his feet when he walks down the hallway. Your head falls on the arm of the couch, eyes focused on the TV. Hongjoong calls your name in a whisper. You look up at his tired eyes.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He questions you. You have half the energy to laugh quietly. "Says the one in the studio at.." You check your phone. A picture of you and the girls on the lock screen. "4 am.. why aren't you?" You set your phone back down, pulling your feet up so he can take a seat on the couch without you hogging the whole thing.

He gladly takes it with a heavy sigh. His hand falls to your ankle poking out of the blanket, and you shiver slightly at the chill of his rings. "How are you feeling?" You scoot to sit up, leaning on your hand. "It always gets hectic before a comeback," he huffs a smile, turning towards you. "How are you?" His finger brushes up your calf. "I asked first," you glance back.

He smiles, a tired one, one he always has for you. "Why were you still up?" He changes the question. You take the hint. Laying back down on your pillow that's propped up against the couch. "I wanted to wait for you," you whisper.

The silence is comfortable. Hongjoongs fingers rubbing circles on your ankle. You reach down to grasp his hand, his tired eyes blink back at you. "Lay with me?" You ask, perhaps you shouldn't. But in your sleepy state, you're bold enough to ask, scooting over to make room for him. He doesn't answer but scoots up enough to take the spot next to you. Face to face. "Nightmare?" He asks, as if giving you an excuse, his eyes bore down on yours.

He's so pretty, you think. His eyes are so soft under the darkness. You question if he's one of the prettiest guys you've ever seen, an uncommon trait for alphas. You hum, taking the lie. "Yea"

Your eyelids slink as does his, the rhythmic breathing between you two casts over like a lullaby. Eventually, his arm falls over your hip. Alice In Wonderland playing in the distance, a sound you've gotten used to as you fall into the solitude of sleep.

The next morning, the comfort of the couch is something that you want to fall back into. You want your beauty rest, but the sun keeps beating on your eyelids. You turn in the grasp of the blanket, it has a tight hold, you wiggle to get comfortable.

The fan of someone's breath hits the shell of your ear. Your eye pops up, blinking at the sun coming down on you from the window. You turn to feel the body pressed against your back. Slowly turning so you don't wake them up.

Hongjoongs face is mere centimeters away. His hair falls over his face in waves. You want to reach out and push it away, kiss his eyelids, and touch his face ever so delicately. Your head lays on his arm. Hoongjoongs hoodie rid up his forearm, the scent gland on the bend of his elbow directly in front of you. Hongjoong smells.. like a ripe pear, tahitian vanilla, the heat from the sun, and sweet spices. You nuzzle deeper into his warmth, sighing gently into his chest.

Still foggy from sleep, every second that passes, you fall further into a dream state. Hongjoongs soft and quiet breathing echos in your mind.

Pictures pass in your vision, memories you haven't yet explore dance beyond the border of your sight. You dance silently, following where you lead yourself. Through doors that open without a sound and a floor that is void, your feet patter and swirl like raindrops on water. A distant noise echos. Hands reach out for yours, an assortment of them sticking out from the void and invisible walls that surround you. But you don't reach back. Your movements flow in a rhythm. When you stop to breathe, you sink into the floor. And fall continously. Echos of your struggles and inner thoughts consume you.

You wake up with a shudder, sitting up abruptly. You pat around you, you're in your bed. Hongjoong isn't here. You hope it's not because of what you said. You hope it's not because you made things awkward. You fall back into your comforters, sighing heavily. You stare at the crack in your bedroom door, watching figures pass and go. They block out the sun. The first to stop in the twenty minutes of you staring is Jongho. He pushes your door open softly. Two solid knocks hit your door.

"Want to get some breakfast?" He leans in, jongho is already dressed and ready. You hope he was waiting for you to wake up and ask you to tag along. You smile. "Yes"

The walk is brisk, just down the street to the coffee shop you visit most often in the morning. Jongho holds the door open for you, and you thank him. The smell of coffee hits you straight on. A pleasant surprise that makes your stomach grumble. Your mask stays put on your face, as does jonghos. Your arm wraps around his, a subconscious thing on your part. He doesn't pull away.

The line isn't long. A few stand around, picking and choosing their order. Many of the seats are taken. Chatter echoes in the large shop. "The usual?" Jongho nudges you, pulling your attention from the crowded strangers. He takes the lead compared to when you always do, you don't fight him about ordering like you usually would. "You know it," you smile, although you know the mask will block it. His eyes pull up, and you can tell he's smiling back.

You're compliant to the way he orders everyone's breakfast and drinks, something jongho finds strange for your behavior but boosts his ego a bit. You tell him the rest of the orders he forgets, leaning up to whisper it in his ear. He leans down and meets you halfway, so you aren't straining your still healing ankle. His hand falls to your mid back, steadying you.

"That's it, Thank you."

You lean up against the free space in the waiting area. Propping yourself up against the cold stone wall. This area is just as busy. You know the order will be a while. Jongho takes the spot next to you. Bumping shoulders. "How's your elbow?" He touches your arm gently.

You look down at it, a distant memory compared to the week you've had. "It's fine, it wasn't that bad." You shrug it off.

"If it wasn't, why were you in the hospital for a week?"

A lump forms in your throat. You advert your eyes to anything else. "I.. they wanted to run tests." That catches him off guard. "Tests? What for?" He leans on his shoulder to face you.

"Because i.." swallow the lump, don't word vomit. Please don't word vomit.

"Because I'm a -" ding! "order for Mr. Choi Jong!" Saved by the bell. God, it's so perfectly timed. Jongho stares at you for a second longer, his eyes scan you for answers. Like he's hoping you'll continue. Your mouth is glued. When he adverts his eyes, the emotion that crosses his features is like you did something terrible. He leaves to get the order when you don't look back up at him.

What are you doing? Are you crazy? Your hand falls to your forehead, rubbing the tension away. Jongho is silent the entire walk back. He takes the load of drinks and bags by himself, a few strides ahead. When you offer to help, he pulls away. "It's fine." he simply says. You flinch at his tone.

Just two more weeks.

The second week starts rocky. You haven't talked to yunho since the monitor incident. As well as jongho still being upset at you, hongjoong, avoiding you like the plague, and seonghwa not even giving you the time of day. You don't know what you did.

Your bed feels empty, as does your heart. You toss and turn all night long. Barely able to get any sleep for hours. A knock breaks you out of your tossing and turning habit. "Come in" you turn towards the door.

Mingi stands with his pillow tightly wrapped in his arms. Although childish, you find him cute. "Hey," you push yourself to sit up. He looks shy when he shifts on his feet, rolling his palm over your doorknob. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" He asks, it's mumbled, but you make out what he's asking.

Your lips poke up into a smile. You don't answer, just scooting over to the empty spot you were just upset about. You give him your warm spot instead. He giddily falls atop your spot, snuggly placing his pillow under his head.

"I sleep better in your room," he laughs, his eyes turn into cresents, and you stare at the way his face squishes into the pillow. You gently wiggle off the glasses from his nose, setting them aside on your side table. "It's because my room isn't messy," you snicker lightly.

Mingis whispering voice is just his normal voice, just less loud. You don't mind, though. You give him space. He hardly fits in your bed, yet he says he's the most comfortable in it. You can't tell if he's saying it to make you happy.

Mingi calls your name softly in the dark. "Yeah, mingi?" You whisper back, tucking your arm under your pillow. There's a few seconds of silence. It's uncommon when mingi is around. "I'm sorry again," he says so softly. You sigh. "it wasn't you mingi, you didn't do anything to hurt me that bad.." You close your eyes, excuse.

Excuse.

"...I had to get checked out because of my weird scent change thing going on." It's not true. You're feeling sick from lying so much. He hums. "So I didn't hurt you?" You laugh lightly. "No, min, you didn't hurt me." Your eyelids close. "I would never hurt you on purpose," he slurs in tired words. Your eyebrows furrow.

"I know.." You hear him shuffle closer. He reaches to grab your hand from under the pillow. His grip is soft. Your eyes stay closed.

Is this real?

"I'm here if you ever need anything." his thumb catches yours, intertwining your fingers. You sigh softly.

The amount of lying all week weighs heavy on your shoulders, mingi, who genuinely says what he means, twists your heart between his words. You try to breathe through the sudden sting of tears welling up in your eyes.

"I know." You answer with a shaky breath. You slip your hand out of his, and your world feels as if it's crumbling. Turning on your side away from him.

Just half a week. Half.

It's getting repetitive. Filming for another episode of a variety show you don't care for currently. You just miss your bed. You miss your boys. You miss being normal. You miss not having to hide. You miss being a beta.

"Your turn!" A finger points in your direction. You blink for a few seconds, gathering your wit. "i.. what am I supposed to do?" You laugh to cover the fact you weren't paying attention. The camera shines just out of view.

To keep up with performances, the majority of the boys all yell out the instructions. You get it, just a bit. San and Yeosang are at the top of the tower, having climbed all the way up with their gear.

You have to climb the tower. "Do I have to?" You bounce on your feet anxiously, looking towards the camera. Staff buckle you into your gear, the chatter getting lost whilst you get stuck in your head. You're not a big fan of heights.

You're really not a big fan of heights. You start noticing that when you shuffle across the platform to collect a red scarf. The premise of the game is to collect your color accessories, whilst also not allowed to go back if you miss any. Whatever team gets the most accessories wins. You're on Yeosang and Sans team. Paired in three.

Your rope is tied to san, whose rope is tied to yeosang. You don't think you got the strength in your arms to keep going. You power on anyway. Slipping your hand between spray painted fake rocks and clawing your way up.

Your helmet keeps slipping down your face. Surely, it's unfair that you got a helmet that doesn't even fit you. And dangerous. But mostly unfair.

"You got this!" Sans yell encourages you. You're in a particularly tough spot. You have to reach sideways to grab a pair of red sunglasses. It's the last thing you have to grab to win.

To your left, the blue team, which consists of wooyoung, yunho, and hongjoong, yells to each other. You try to drown it out and focus on your own team.

You just gotta reach over. You wedge yourself as close as you can.

Just reach. You can hear the game hosts encouraging you on, shouts of surprise.

Your fingertips just barely scrape it, almost knocking it off the ledge it's on. You shuffle, your single hand holding onto a rock is getting sweaty. You breath cautiously, reaching out again.

It's so close.

And then you grab it.

Shouts from San and yeosang make you smile. You're proud of yourself. You go to turn back, slipping from your left foot. Oh no. You're slipping, trying to get a solid hold on the rock. You slip the sunglasses on your head, hoping to be able to get your right hand free to grab the ledge.

San and yeosang are only a few feet up, not close enough for you to reach for. You've got to maneuver yourself out of the spot you're in. You don't know if you can. You wiggle and twist your waist, stretching your right arm above you.

Your fingers wiggle to get a good grip on the jagged red rock you grabbed. You're not as muscular as you thought as you try to use your right arm to pull your full body weight further up.

You strain it so, to the point where when you finally get yourself up. You have to shake off the hurt. Just two more rocks. Two more big reaches.

Two seems to appear a lot lately.

Distant shouting of all the teams catch your attention. Wooyoung is gaining speed. He's on his last accessory, a few feet behind you. When he sees you staring, he smirks like a predator, gaining speed.

Your movements are calculated but rushed. You keep pushing the helmet back on your head. The sunglasses slip down over your eyes, somewhat blocking your view. You're sweating bullets at this point.

Yeosangs hand is a saving grace. He pulls you up by your right wrist whilst san pulls your left arm. As soon as you get up, you book it to the table you have to put the accessories on.

Your team wins. Confetti cascades around you. You cheer happily, jumping around and laughing out of breath.

How it feels to be victorious.

You look to yeosang and San. They stare, shocked.

You wipe the sweat off your brow. The sweet scent hitting your nostrils.

Oh no.

You swipe the sweat away as quickly as you can, pulling the roll on bottle out of your pocket. Hurry. You try to twist the top off. Rolling the scent onto your scent glands and over your forehead as much as you can.

It's no doubt in your mind. They smelt your real scent. They know. You don't turn to look. You don't even want to know what they're thinking. Your breathing turns shallow.

Fuck.

Your world is crashing.

This time for real.

You take the emergency stairs. Ignoring the calls of yeosang and san. Stripping the gear off of you as you go. You don't care if you're ruining the victory shot. You just gotta get out of here.

You're wondering the hallways when wooyoung finds you. Hot tears stream down your face. Why are you even crying? You don't know. Maybe you're scared this will change everything. Maybe you're scared you messed up again and ruined it.

Wooyoungs hand is a soft pull to your wrist. You yank yourself out of his grip. Pain flashes his features. He says your name gently. You continue to sob. "What? What now" you huff. Wiping your tears harshly.

"Tell me what's wrong -" "Nothing!" You painfully shout, stepping away from his distressed smell. "Nothing is wrong. Nothing is ever wrong." You laugh at your situation. Wooyoungs hand clenches in the air. His hair falls over his eyes messily. He's still in the outfit he was wearing for the game, minus the gear. It's as if he came looking straight for you.

Just for you.

Wooyoungs mouth falls open and close. You dont think about whether or not he has something to say. You don't want to even look. "Just go away, please"

Wooyoung face is painted in pain. You know he doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know how to react. "Omega, please." he whispers.

Your sobs stop. Your tear stained face whips around, and your shocked face is evidence you weren't expecting that.

His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. "We need to talk," he sighs, allowing him to walk up. He takes your wrists in his hands gently. His thumb rubs soothing circles on your wrists.

Silently, tears stream. You don't have the energy to pull away.

You ruined everything. They know.

A/n; cliff hanger bc my phone is glitching out BAD. IM SORRY! hopefully, the two chapts will make up for it. Thanks for all the support ♡.

Taglist: @lelaleleb @bratty-tingz @0325tiny @smilefordongil @atinytinaa @unripeapple7 @ja3hwa @stopeatread (thanks for your support ♡)

[pars-ley]

I...do? (part three)

Pairing: Taehyung x female reader ft ex boyfriend Seokjin Summary: Waiting for Taehyung to return from the fishing trip with your dad was almost unbearable. Will your father approve of your fiancé, or will Mr Kim end up revealing his true colours? Running into your ex in town, however, was worse than anything you were worrying about. Genre: Enemies to lovers au / CEO au / fake dating au / colleagues to lovers au / co-workers to lovers / series / angst / fluff / smut Rating: 18+ (future chapters will be NSFW) Warnings (per chapter) : conversations about sex / talking about orgasms / mentions of male appendage size / talk of emotional abusive ex / insults from an ex / slight physical assault (between two male characters) / discussions about loss of virginity /  W/C: 3.9k Banner: @shadowkoo <3 Beta: @cherrysoulth i appreciate you. A/N: Here’s part three, thank you all for the Iikes, the comments and reblogs, I love how into this story people are! And thank you for being patient with me while I completed this chapter. Taglist: @taebae19 @ladyartemesia @taestannie @somewhereofftheglobe @m-1234 @siadreams @moonchild1 @taebangtanbabe @leedoesntknaur @11thenightwemet11 @chickenscoups @stellamalonesolaria @taiwan0618

The next morning, sitting in the kitchen, you and your mother idly chatter away, with your boss mostly focused on reading through emails on his laptop at the breakfast bar, until your dad finally comes down, leaving a descending silence in his wake. You scoop up your yogurt and granola, staring into your bowl, and feeling like a scalded teenager.

"Taehyung, do you fish?" your dad's gravelly voice shatters the quiet and has you all frozen, awaiting a response. 

"Fish? As in with a fishing rod?" he replies bewildered, spoonful of cereal in mid-air.

"That's usually how it works, yes. Unless you'd prefer to try catching them with your hands?" your dad replies as he pours his coffee and eats his toast straight-faced staring out of the back door into the garden.

"I've never tried any form of fishing, to be honest."

"Well, today's your lucky day, you're coming out on the boat with me."

You watch as Mr. Kim's eyes widen and for the first time since you've met him, you see genuine fear. "I'm not sure fishing is my thing, I-"

"You're about to become part of this family, son, I'm not making a request. You're coming out on the boat with me and learning how to fish. It's a tradition that goes back generations, that my dad did with me and his dad before that." your father's tone is so blunt and harsh, you can see that not even your back chatting boss would  argue. "Be ready to leave in ten."

Your father exits the room quickly, taking the awkward air with him and lifting the cloud of heavy silence.

"I've never been part of a tradition before." your boss' wistful voice sounds quietly into the stillness, as you take in his strange expression, a hint of sadness revealing itself in unguarded eyes, only momentarily before they harden back to unreadable.

"Don't worry," your mum interjects. "he's a big softie really."

"Who knows, maybe he won't bring you back." you tease, sounding hopeful and making him shift slightly in his seat.

"I’m sure you’ll win him over and you won't have to worry about anything," your mum interjects, playfully slapping you on the arm. “Besides, while the boys are out, you and me are having afternoon tea in town.”

“Yes ma’am.” playfully you salute her and finish your breakfast.

Sure enough, Mr. Kim is ready and downstairs in exactly 10 minutes, a sombre and concerned frown creasing his brow.

“Can you fish?” he asks, with a childlike curiosity that you find oddly endearing.

“My dad had two daughters and a tradition to uphold, what do you think?” smirking at him, you attempt to offer him some parting wisdom, "Listen," you whisper, "my dad is like a human lie detector, he sees through people much quicker than anyone I've ever met. Try to be as honest as you can…without completely being yourself."

He turns to you and you see a flash of annoyance flit across his eyes. "Am I that awful?"

You stare at him, perplexed as to what kind of pep talk he thought he was going to get. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

He grunts, "forget it." before storming out the front door and climbing into your dad's truck.

Staring off after them, hoping they come back a little more positive than they've left, but if Mr. Kim fell off the boat and was never found, it also would not be the worst thing that could happen.

******

"So, tell me how it happened? You and…Mr Kim." Your mother hesitates, unsure whether to stand on ceremony because he's your boss or to be casual because he's your fiancé. Even thinking those words seem absurd, you yourself can't even get past calling him anything other than Mr Kim. 

She eyes you over her teacup, as she blows the molten liquid inside. Steam billowing out around her face, making her look like a mafia boss waiting for your next wrong answer. Was she suspicious? You couldn't help the nerves bubbling away inside you while you prepared to lie to her. 

"As far as I was concerned, you hated this man." She says, matter-of-factly.

"I still do…at times. He infuriates me beyond belief, I hate his opinions on things, the way he talks to people, everything has to be his way and-"

"What do you actually like about him?" She cuts you off, forcing you to take a breath. While wanting to be as honest as possible, this question is going to be the hardest to answer.

"Well, I like his don't-give-a-fuck attitude."

Your mother cringes at your use of language but the corners of her mouth pull up slightly, a giveaway that she's secretly missed it.

"He doesn't care what anyone thinks about him and I admire that." pausing to think, your mind racing a mile a minute, grasping at straws. "He's very ambitious and focused, which is how he's come so far in his career."

You struggle to think of anything else without lying, so you say the most clichéd answer that comes to mind. "Besides, there is a different side to him that he doesn't show anybody. A gentle, softer side, that he hides underneath that mask." 

You're convinced that while that might be true for most people, you doubt very much it's true in this case. Some people are just entitled arseholes and your boss is very much one of them.

"And I suppose that him being heartbreakingly handsome helps?" your mother smirks at you from behind her cup.

"There are worse faces to look at." you reply, leaning back on your chair, stomach full of sandwiches and cakes.

You hate it, but your mother is right. He is devastatingly good looking. He has the type of face that should be on a billboard somewhere, outlined in neon lights and illuminated for all to see. But an ugly personality changes the way you look, even for the most attractive face.

"And what about…" your mother raises her eyebrows hoping you'll get the hint of what she's referring to…you do.

"Ma!"

"What?" she feigns, batting her eyelashes innocently. "It's important to be married to a man who knows how to satisfy you."

Laying your head on your folded arms on the table, you let out an amused sigh.

"While sex is not the main part of a marriage, it is a big part. A healthy sex life helps keep your marriage interesting, not to mention helps with communication and your overall bond." 

Groaning, you're still unable to lift your head to look at her.

"I'm just making sure that the man you're going to spend the rest of your life with, will make you happy in every sense. There's far too many egotistical men thinking they have all the power, for you to be faking your orgasms for their benefit. I mean, I thank god every day for your father, now he definitely keeps marriage interes-"

"Ma!" you finally meet her eyes. "I do not need to hear anything about you and dad!" you grimace, shaking the image from your mind, "and I can assure you, there is no need for faking orgasms."

She nods, seeming satisfied with your answer and goes back to sipping her drink. 

Mr. Kim is probably far too selfish to be good in bed. Most definitely. But now your mother has planted the seed, you were finding it hard not to think about it. Your mind wonders what his physique looks like underneath those fitted suits he wears. You want to think it'll be nothing special, but you can tell just by the way his shirt sits against him, that you would only be lying to yourself. 

The image of what he's like in bed is one you can't seem to shake. Is he a giver or receiver? Does he like to be dominant or submissive? Or even, is he gentle or rough…let's face it, nothing about this man seems gentle. You wonder for a brief moment what his lips would feel like against yours, when your mother interrupts, “look who's back,” she nods to the window, seeing your father's truck pulling up outside the local fishmongers.

Will they both have come back unharmed? Will Mr Kim have tried to mind his manners and keep his rude remarks to himself? God, you hoped so.

Glancing over at your mum; you see her amusement twinkle in her eyes, “I'm sure it will be fine, let's go and find out.”

Grabbing your bag, you head straight for the door, nerves twisting your stomach and making you regret eating so much at lunch.

The sound of talking and laughter comes from within the shop. Your dad must be sharing stories with the local fishmongers, something that must be making Mr Kim feel very awkward and you can't help the slight smile that plays at the corner of your mouth at the thought.

"Hello boys," your mum says, taking the lead into the store, “how was your trip?”

The sight that greets you makes you pause, frozen in the doorway. Your dad; smiling with an arm around Mr Kim’s shoulders. What universe have you stumbled into? How could this be possible?

Your father winks at you. Seeming much more himself as he comes over and beams when he lays eyes on your mother, closing the distance quickly to cuddle her and kiss her cheek.

Turning back to you, he pulls you under his arm, "your boy done good. He's a natural."

Your head snaps over as your mouth gapes open, shocked at your dad's sudden change of heart. Not to mention, Mr Kim’s eyes wide with an excited gleam. He looks like a different person, relaxed and…happy, for once he's actually smiling. Something you've never seen in the three years you've known him. For a moment, you're struck at just how gorgeous his boxy grin is. Breath frozen in your lungs, as you blink furiously in an attempt to rid yourself of the spell that's been placed upon you.

"You caught a fish?" you ask, in utter disbelief.

"Several actually." he looks down at you with a smug grin.

Your eyes go straight to your father, frowning, you feel utterly betrayed by him. You assumed he'd never buy into your boss' charade and hate him as much as you do. If you were being honest, a small part of you really hoped Mr Kim would fail and that your dad wouldn't approve of the wedding. No more lies and yet…here you are.

"What's that face for, Princess?" your dad asks, as he squeezes your shoulder, comfortingly, "worried I wouldn't bring him back?" Smirking down at you, you watch his face carefully until he meets your questioning gaze with serious eyes. "He's ok." 

There it is. Confirmation of your dad's seal of approval. Any words you had are swallowed whole by shock but still desperately trying to escape, judging by the taste of disdain that is repeating on you, burning its way up your throat.

How could he have fooled your father? 

There wasn't a time you recall your dad ever being wrong about someone and today was a first. The first of him being duped and believing a lie, to make matters worse, it’s a lie that you're partly orchestrating. 

But for some strange reason, watching Mr Kim's face light up as he shows your mother and the fishmonger his catches, pushes away your guilt and replaces it with both; bewilderment and fascination. How can something as simple as fishing inspire this response from your boss? 

Whilst you and your mother wait, Mr Kim and your dad sell their catches to the fishmonger. “See, didn't I say everything would be fine?” she almost gloats, making you roll your eyes in response.

When they're done, your mother and father head off to the grocery store to get some food for dinner. Your mother convinces you to show Mr Kim around the town. His good mood clearly extended beyond fishing as he agrees, much to your surprise.

“All things considered,” Mr Kim starts, “it's small, this place, but it does have some endearing qualities.”

Frowning over at him, you can't help the response that leaves your mouth. “Ok, who are you and what have you done with Mr. Kim?” 

His face falls, and his cheeks taint with a pink blush that makes you instantly regret your words, not wanting the good mood of his to disappear.

“I'm kidding!” you nudge him playfully on his side, “besides you're actually quite handsome when you smile.”

His head snaps up at you then, his lips tugging up at the corners but his eyes are unreadable, something in them you couldn't quite put your finger on, but it made your stomach flip just the same.

"In all seriousness, how did you do it?" you ask into the silence, acutely aware of the touch of his arm on yours, as you walk side by side down the row of shops.

“Do what?”

“Get my dad to like you.”

Hearing a slight huff from him before his face falls again, “I tried to do what you said.”

Why on earth would he ever listen to you, that would definitely be a first?

“You tried not to be yourself?” you reply sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood again.

“Yeah.”

Hearing the sadness in his tone, you immediately chastise yourself. The silence fills the air, thick and heavy like a quilt of loneliness, enveloping the two of you. Attempting to think of a million things to say to ease the tension, you don't really trust yourself to speak anymore, until you hear him mumble, "I haven't always been like this."

Looking over at him, your gaze meets puppy dog eyes and for once, you're at a loss for words. Your big, bad boss suddenly doesn't seem so scary anymore. But just as you take a breath to ask him about his statement, his attention is drawn into the shop behind you.

“I need to grab a new deodorant, I'll just be a minute.” And he rushes in, not meeting your eyes again. You wander over to the next shop, a bakery, glancing at the pastries in the window. The thought of apple pie for dessert crosses your mind, when a familiar voice halts you and glues your feet to the floor, “Y/n?”

Suddenly, your stomach feels full of rocks, weighing you down and making acid rise up into your throat. Forcing yourself to face him, you turn to see none other than your ex-boyfriend. Kim Seokjin.

“I thought that was you.” He continues, eyes roaming over you, in a way that makes your skin crawl, “You look amazing.”

Snapping your jaw shut, in hopes of not embarrassing yourself by starting a fight in the middle of this tiny town and airing your past dirty laundry. 

“What are you doing back in town?” he adds, smiling arrogantly, “we should have coffee and catch up like old times, I–”

“Sorry to have kept you waiting, my love.” Mr Kim’s voice next to you soothes you instantly and makes you feel calmer, as does the arm he winds possessively around your waist. “Are you ready to go?” he asks, placing a gentle kiss on your temple. You can't help but stiffen slightly at the action but something about the way his lips feel against your skin, wants you to close your eyes and lean into it.

“Hi there,” Seokjin interrupts awkwardly. “I’m Jin, I'm y/n’s ex, I'm sure she's mentioned me.” The cockiness in his tone makes you want to puke, and wonder what you ever saw in him. He holds his hand out for Taehyung to shake, to which he pointedly ignores, much to your amusement.

“Taehyung, y/n’s fiancé.” he subtly exaggerates, “and no, she hasn't mentioned you before.” He looks down at you, “was Joon here, one of your more serious boyfriends you told me about?”

Catching on to what he's doing, and knowing Seokjin will hate every moment, you dive right in with the ruse. “Not at all.” you respond, laughing and placing a hand on Taehyung's chest.

Seokjin’s jaw clenches. “It's Jin.” 

Biting the inside of your cheeks to hold your smile at bay and unable to help the way your chest swells with pride in making him feel uncomfortable. Paybacks one hell of a bitch.

“Sorry Jae, I guess you weren't memorable enough to make the roster.”

Seokjin laughs darkly then, turning your stomach, knowing the real him is about to make himself known.

“I think you'll find, y/n won't ever be able to forget me. You see, I, was her first. I'm ingrained in her mind, whether she likes it or not.”

You tense at Taehyung's side but he only squeezes you reassuringly and pulls you closer to him. Fury rises up inside you, as your hands ball into fists. The overwhelming need to punch him in the face threatening to take over. 

You're transported back to a time of a sweet, handsome Seokjin flirting and charming his way into your life. He pursued you for eight months before you fell for him and gave yourself to him. Losing your virginity and regretting it instantly. 

The very next morning he turned cold and distant, calling you awful names, making you feel embarrassed and ugly. From that point on you hated yourself and it had been a long road to recover from your insecurities after that. Especially, when you found out he'd only been interested in you as part of a bet with his friends. Taking your virginity, that was the wager and the odds were unfortunately in his favour.

The very next day the entire town knew, with Seokjin spreading many lies about you to your peers from college, much to your dismay and heartbreak. You would never forgive him for what he did, or how he made you feel, but seeing him again, showed you how far you'd come since then.

“And yet, a much more important and impressionable first, is the first time someone makes you come, am I right?” Taehyung's voice is lower and sounding darker than usual, “And I think we both know that it's definitely not you who holds that title.”

Your mouth almost pops open in shock. How would Taehyung even know that information? The only person who knows it is you.

Seokjin's face reddens, his eyes emblazoned with anger, looking like he will explode right in front of you. “Yeah, well, she was awful anyway, had to think about somebody else just to make it through.” he takes a slight step towards you. “Y/n wasn't pretty back then, a little chubby and frumpy. I only dated her out of pity.”

The fury inside rose up and out of your mouth before you could stop it, “funny that, as I remember you whimpering my name as you came, after all of about thirty seconds. I barely had a chance to feel anything. Well,” you glance down at his crotch, “not that there's much to feel there.”

Seokjin's whole face turns a dark shade of pink. “You're still the same little slut, you've always been.” he spits. The words barely have time to get past his lips before Taehyung had his hand around his face in a death grip. Shoving him against the store window.

“If I hear y/n’s name leave your mouth again,” Taehyung's voice sounds deadly, “I will rip these swollen lips off and shove them down your throat. Do you understand?”

Seokjin looks at you alarmed and you have to cut your eyes away to try and quell the anger burning inside you. That's when you notice your parents watching, your mother taking a tentative step towards the scene and your dad, smiling with his arms crossed. 

“Don't look at y/n!” Taehyung spits, it's the first time he’s sounded out of control, “don't you ever look at her again, you worthless piece of shit. Now, are. we. clear?” 

Seokjin nods, panicked.

“Apologise to y/n and you'll be on your way.” Taehyung releases his face with a thrust, almost tripping him up.

“S-sorry y/n. I'm sorry.” he walks away quickly; head down and avoids everyone's gaze. Until he disappears quickly around the corner.

The adrenaline still pumps ferociously through your body but the thrill you feel overwhelms you. Elation bubbles up inside you as you spin to Taehyung, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him to you. Squealing with excitement, you tighten your hold on him. His body stiffens for a brief moment before he's suddenly lifting you off the ground, laughing at your reaction. You have never heard him laugh before and the sound is intoxicating. Leaning back slightly to watch him, noses almost touching as you're face to face. His expression turns serious, eyes suddenly intense. Overwhelmed with so many emotions, you have no idea which one to follow first but the way your stomach flutters with growing butterflies does not escape your attention. 

“Your parents are watching…” he says, as he slowly lowers you back to the ground.

You'd forgotten about them, but inspiration strikes. Removing your arms from around him but keep your body close to his. “You should kiss me, then.”

He raises a questioning eyebrow.

“It will make our relationship more believable.” you add, stating facts but if you are completely honest with yourself, it has nothing to do with keeping up a ruse. You just really want to know what his lips feel like against yours.

“Are you sure?” he whispers, eyes focused on your mouth and already leaning in. All you can do is nod, as you wait eagerly with anticipation.

His hands on your back, encasing you and pulling you closer, as he limits the distance between you. When his mouth touches yours, you momentarily forget how to breathe, as his warm, soft lips enchant you. He moves them slowly against yours and a surprising hunger blossoms inside, snapping you out of your trance, leading you to eagerly return the dance. Your hands stay firmly against the hard planes of his chest, fingertips pressing desperately against his skin. The gentle kiss deepens and there's an urgency from him that you didn't expect. But before you're ready, he pulls away, breathing fast, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Sorry.” He says, quietly and when you pull away you notice the dusting of pink across his cheeks. 

“What are you sorry for?”

He shrugs, stepping slightly away from you, “for getting carried away.”

“Don't apologise, I'm not sorry.” you can't help the flirtatious lilt in your voice. His lips turn up into a sideways smirk so sexy you have to force yourself to look away. This afternoon has made you feel dizzy with exhilaration and confusion is muddling your brain.

“I guess I should explain.” you say, feeling embarrassed about sharing the story of Jin.

“No pressure, whenever you're ready.” he says simply, with an understanding that surprises you. “But I think I get it.”

You nod, mulling that over, you would tell him more but not right now, in the middle of this town and under prying eyes. You'd both caused enough of a spectacle.

“Alright, let's go macho man.”

He laughs as he falls in step beside you. “You know, they had no brand names I recognised in that shop.”

“That's because it's an organic shop, Taehyung, the owner makes everything herself.”

His face drops, mouth popping open in shock. “Organic deodorant, no wonder it smells like the woods.”

Giggling, you head back home with your parents, ready to eat dinner and feeling the most comfortable since you arrived.

[astonmartingf]

YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND—

— co-parenting with alonso has been smooth sailing, until he starts dropping hints that he wants to be with you again

P9 ★ SEE YOU IN MY FUTURE

amgf probably 2k words? almost 3k? idk but it's hurt/comfort! i did cry, and yes so... i'm emotional because it's ending but also... it's ENDING 😀🫵 DKXJSKDJZJ one more chapter yay!!! shout out to day6, what would this chapter be without your songs... enjoy 👍

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You weren't sure what to expect— despite your severe reaction the past week, you're now mellowed down and calm, you think back on your conversation with Seb a few months ago before his retirement.

You definitely have not moved on, and the mention of the upcoming season definitely felt like a band-aid ripped off a bleeding wound. And all the pain and resentment you felt was now revealed beneath the familial memories you built with Ales and Fernando.

Driving up to his gate, you're instantly filled with the comfort of his private home. The place you spent most of your time outside work, and even more than your own house, with Ales and Fernando. You rub away the headache slowly building in your head, getting out of your car and meeting Fernando who greeted you out of his home.

"Are you feeling better?"

You wince away, as you take a seat on the chair opposite of him. It would be much easier if he resented you the way you did. That you'd rather he treat you unfairly in the last few years, but he's Fernando. He's the father of your son, and the man you tenderly love, even to this day.

Which only hurts more, knowing you can never fully let go of the past, despite both growing since your separation but seeing him with Ales sparked the burning hope in you. Maybe this would be the time for you and Fernando, that this might be the future you've been longing for all along.

"I'm sorry, how I reacted last week... I thought I was okay with it, but I guess I still feel the same way." You rub your arms, looking elsewhere but Fernando's eyes, knowing well he's staring right through you. You were scared and vulnerable, all throughout the years you noticed your apprehension in communicating your feelings for the sake of your relationship. And it wasn't going well for you, or for Fernando, but this time it'd be different.

"And before you say anything, I just want to say that I'm proud of you. I'm glad you still race, and for the upcoming season. I understand if you think it's too selfish of me not to come, but Ales will, I just think I'm not ready for it yet."

You gulp down your nerves, raising your head, staring head on at Alonso who is still smiling. It breaks your heart, seeing him like this— if only he'd get up and say something about how unfair it is to him.

"I understand it. You don't have to worry, I won't force you." Silence.

The room was met with silence, until you hear the sniffles coming from Fernando, leaving you frozen in your seat. As much as you hate being vulnerable in front of him, you never thought he'd cry in front of you first.

You hear his laughter, seconds after as he wipes the tears falling from him eyes.

"Please, don't worry this is not your fault... I guess you could say I'm overwhelmed. I only ever thought about this moment, I kept thinking about when we can have this talk, but you were so focused on Ales. Rightfully so, he's our son and our priority, so even though I wanted to fix what has been broken before, maybe it wasn't the time. And when we talked last night, I kept blaming myself for rushing you, because it was my fault.

And now, you're telling me yourself, I'm happy you're here. I'm happy that you told me yourself, and every day I will prove myself to be better, not just as Ales' father but as someone who is worthy to be with you. I'm sorry if I'm being emotional, I just didn't think I would come close to this again. And with you, if you resent me, I won't blame you. I resent myself every day, after you left me, and this... this is more than enough for me right now."

It wasn't long before the tears began to fall from your eyes, you only ever thought of your pain. Choosing to leave with Ales, away from Fernando— away from the years you've been together. Away from the only man you ever loved.

Your only concern was licking the wounds of what was left from Fernando, what you didn't think was how he felt all those years.

"I'm sorry... How lonely it must've felt for you all those years. Away from Ales— I promise you, this time it will be different. One day, we will be together— I know it, because I don't think I'd have it any other way than you. I love you Fernando! I still do, even after all these years—"

Closing you eyes, your hands instinctively wrap around Fernando's neck wanting him closer, pulling him from more. Hands grabbing his face, feeling the tears fall down your fingers. Wiping them away, you kiss him once more before pulling each other in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kiss you without—"

"Shhh..." You hush Fernando's worries, resting your head on his shoulder, hands trailing over his back, resting them on top of his thick hair.

"I'm happy we had this conversation as well. Thank you Fernando. Thank you for still seeing me in your future. I had so many worries, and questions— all this time, I was just a coward. A selfish coward you decided for the both of us."

Fernando shakes his head, tutting his lips, "I won't let you day those things to yourself you hear me? You are brave and courageous, understand? And I love you, even though I feel undeserving of your feeling, I will work hard to be the man who deserves it. What happened, I don't blame you. But we'll figure these things out as the time goes by, don't be a stranger?"

With blurry eyes, you remove your head from Fernando's shoulders nodding your head. "I think I need to rest for a bit, can I take a nap here for a bit?"

"You want me to pick up Ales from Lance's while you sleep?"

The mention of your son immediately brought the sparkle in your eyes, which wasn't missed by Fernando who only smiled as he tucked you in his bed. "You can rest for a while, and when you wake up, we will be here. Sleep well Amor."

You feel your eyes getting heavier as Fernando's voice begins to thin out, you feel him leave a small kiss on your forehead causing you to smile before dosing off to your sleep.

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yourusername may the spark in your eye, and the fire in your heart burns brighter, lighting a flame to your path wherever you go.

★ YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND — @namgification @nebarious @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @lxclerc @booksandflowrs @c-losur3 @lichterfee @moonyzsworld @e-nonsense @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @thearchieves @welovediaaxx @vogueprincess @mael1pastry @khaylin27 @whydowesleepeachnight @iridescent-sol @celemilii @lozzamez3 @callsignwidow @hrts4scarr

[neptuneiris]

for the crown (02/03)

and then suddenly i cared even less, too broken to stay.

pairing: prince!aemond × lowborn!reader

summary: you gave yourself to him, you love him, he said that despite your low status at court, he will still marry you, because you are his, the woman who was his friend since childhood, until the war comes.

word count: 8.6k

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and here I am again, realizing that I can't anticipate that it will be two parts only, because if I leave it at two, the chapter will be extremely long, so there will be part 3 haha. thank you for reading, enjoy!🥰

warnings: sex content, angst, denigration, abusive behavior, possessiveness, infidelity, betrayal.

If Aemond thought he would have a perfect escape with you after he decided to take you with him to Harrenhal as well, he was wrong.

With only a few dresses, a few pairs of shoes and your night gown, you emerge from your chamber holding Aemond's hand, both of you having a firm grip on each other, ready to march to DragonPit and eventually fly to Harrenhal.

With the entire Prince Regent's army ready to listen to Sr. Criston Cole's command upon seeing Aemond's signal in the skies, your prince is interrupted in the middle of his action as he is basically stealing you away by his mother, his grandsire and also your father right at the gates to leave the Keep.

Your father watches you completely surprised, ready and willing to leave with the prince, while the Queen Dowager and Otto Hightower watch Aemond completely confused and alert.

Also both watching you basically not understanding anything.

"Aemond, what is the meaning of this?"

"What are you doing?"

His mother and grandsire instantly inquire, clearly disapproving of this madness, but Aemond couldn't care less, watching the three of them indifferently.

While you start to worry and basically hide behind him, not letting go of his hand.

"Y/N?"

Your father calls you softly, confused and uncomprehending, looking for your gaze.

But when you look back at him, he knows you've already made your choice, so he begins to get more alert and seriously worried.

"What are you doing?"

But you don't answer him, you can't.

Sorrowful, you seek more reassurance and support from Aemond, basically leaning closer to him, holding his hand a little tighter, revealing your nerves and your fear at having been discovered.

This Aemond notices instantly and stands in front of you with a determined and firm stance without letting go of your hand, facing this alone knowing that none of the three of them stand a chance against him.

"Y/N, come, please," your father pleads as he sees worried the prince's behavior, raising one of his hands in your direction.

"She will do no such thing, my Lord."

Aemond finally speaks, drawing the attention of the three of them as well as yours, watching him over his shoulder,

"Lady Y/N will come with me to Harrenhal. In fact we must leave now and this is not up for discussion," he makes it clear almost threateningly.

Your father immediately exchanges glances with the Queen, more than concerned and demanding that something be done about it, but the Queen Dowager also continues to stare at her son completely confused and as if she does not recognize him.

"Aemond, you can't do this," she tells him gently wanting to talk some sense into him.

"Have you forgotten about your betrothed? Lady Baratheon?" his grandsire inquires him seriously, "Her father is fully supporting you in this because of that betrothal. And when Lord Borros finds out you are enjoying the company of another woman he will not be very pleased and will call off his men."

"And that won't be very wise of him," he says completely disinterested, "It would be unwise for Lord Borros to no longer give me his support if he doesn't want all of Storm's End to burn."

"That's not how things work, Aemond," his mother tells him worriedly, watching him intently.

"I think that's exactly how things work, mother," he tells her in a more serious tone, "After all, I'm not breaking off the betrothal and eventually I'll have to marry his daughter or not?"

This immediately gets your attention, but right after Aemond says those words, he lightly squeezes your hand with his, as a signal.

He has told you that when the war is over, he will marry you and that he promised you. He's not meaning all this now, it's just a way for the two of you to finally leave.

"Aemond, you still can't do this, you're betrothed," she insists.

"And what about Lady Y/N?" his grandsire points out to him, "According to the news, she is also betrothed."

"I don't care. She's coming with me whether you like it or not," he says as a final word.

"My prince…"

Hour father quickly steps forward to speak, worried and almost anguished.

"I beg you not to do this, you cannot take her away, please," he begs, "Lord Hand is right, she is also betrothed. If you take her now her betrothed will not be pleased and will put her maidenhead in question. Because of this my daughter will probably not be able to find a good husband in the future."

His words and behavior makes you feel sorry for your father, as he is right. Basically Aemond will ruin you for all men by taking you away, that action already speaking for itself, as the two of you share a more intimate relationship.

What your father and his family don't know is that he has basically already ruined you by claiming your maidenhead. But of course neither Aemond nor you will say it out loud.

"Don't worry, my Lord," he tells him still disinterested, "I'm sure by the end of all this, you and I will come to a generous agreement for my indiscretion."

Still, this does not reassure your father at all.

"B-but, please my prince, you c-can't…" he begins to speak nervously, looking at you pleadingly, "You can't take her away, please. I have already come to an agreement with her betrothed, they'll be waiting for her to discuss the wedding, please—

"I've told you not to worry, Lord Y/L/N," Aemond tells him again seriously and annoyed.

"But…

"You dare to question your prince's order?"

Aemond inquires him instantly, watching him serious, threatening and expectant, while your father purses his lips into a thin line as Aemond continues to threaten him with his gaze, then looks at his mother and grandsire in the same manner.

"You are also against my own word?"

"Aemond, please," his mother pleads with him as well.

"Don't be a fool, Aemond. Enough of this nonsense," his grandsire tells him seriously, "You are making a big mistake that will cost you the battle if you lose soldiers."

"That will be my problem, not yours," he tells her in the same manner as he does, ready to resume his journey again, "Besides we are not going to lose anything and I advise you not to question me anymore, any of the three of you," he warns them.

These are the final words of Prince Aemond, the Prince Regent, the one who currently holds the crown and carries the weight of the entire Realm on his shoulders, with his other hand he takes your waist and begins to lead the two of you on your way out of the Keep.

The only thing you can feel at that moment as you walk away is the worried and anguished look on your father's face, while you feel sorry for him.

However, you don't want to marry this Lord Beesbury, you don't even know him and you know that your father blindly gave your hand in marriage.

But what you didn't expect is that you would have to walk away from your father, leaving him alone, when it has always been the two of you against the world, which is what really weighs on you and grieves you as you continue to walk away from him with no idea when you will see him again.

You also feel the stares of the Queen Dowager Alicent and Lord Otto on both of you, who probably don't even have any idea how to react to this, not even being in a position to do anything about it.

But Aemond doesn't even care about them and steadily and willingly continues his pace with you by his side, him leading you towards one of the horses that will take you both fast towards DragonPit.

Soon you both find yourselves flying towards Harrenhal, with Sr. Criston leading Aemond's entire army on the ground towards the cursed castle as well.

However… had you known what would await you later in that very place, a cursed castle where its curse never leaves and curses also the people who dare to set foot there, you would never have let Aemond take you with him.

Still, when your prince takes you with him to Harrenhal, you feel important.

You feel you are one of his complements to go on and win the war, like an incentive to gain motivation and strength.

At first, the black and dark castle scares you, knowing perfectly well its reputation and curse, but Aemond is the one who motivates you to stand by his side and help him in everything he needs.

He specifically asks you to settle in his chamber, where it will also be your room, while he once he takes over the castle, begins to plan strategies and move his entire army, alert to any threat and securing his position in Harrenhal.

You know very little about his planning because you know that his matters must be of no interest to you, so during the day, you can only find entertainment in books and learning a little more about the dark castle.

The only thing you attend to is your prince, waiting each night at the end of his exhausting days, as you can't really do much in these circumstances, only being available to him.

This fact does not bother you, but your boredom increases every day considering that you only see Aemond in the nights and very early the next day he is no longer by your side because he goes to attend to his duties.

In your loneliness, you often think about writing a letter to your father, just to let him know that you are well.

But you know that Aemond probably wouldn't be too pleased and you don't know if your father wants to hear from you after what happened.

You wouldn't be surprised if he was furious with you… after all, what you did was very unwise.

You could have stood firm with Aemond, you could have supported your father and attended to your duty properly, yet you did not.

And in the end the only thing that gives you comfort is that at least, by the end of these difficult times, you will finally marry Aemond. And by the time your father sees that, he will probably forgive you.

Today is another one of those days when Aemond has a lot on his mind, taking his position very seriously and getting frustrated when one thing doesn't turn out the way he expected.

It's a lot to handle even though he has Sr. Criston by his side, but that doesn't seem to be enough.

He constantly sends reports to Kings Landing with his position and what is currently happening, understanding that even though Aegon is injured, still his brother wants to be aware of everything, considering he is not at the Keep to protect them in case of anything.

There are countless times when Aemond does not rest properly as he has so much to think and do. And when he finally heads to his chamber almost at the Hour of the Wolf, you help him to get all that stress out of his system.

Aemond lets out a sigh as he lets his head fit all the way back, with his eye closed, as you begin to slowly move up and down his entire hard, heavy, swollen length, in need of release.

You moan and place your hands on his bare, firm chest for support, beginning to move your hips up and down in a more consistent pace, moving back and forth and even circling at times.

Aemond at all times lets you take control, which normally it is not usual for you to do as he prefers it to be him in charge, however this is another one of those nights where he is too tired not to let you ride him.

You groan and begin to move your hips faster and harder, as Aemond moans low and holds your waist firmly, watching as your bodies come together and as all of him repeatedly enters you.

You watch him in complete delight, his beautiful face contracted in pleasure, his brows furrowed and his lips parted, sighing and leaving marks on your skin with his long fingers.

You smile and lean fully into him, still moving, as you bring one of your hands to his hair, stroking it gently, and then bring your lips to his ear.

"Do you like it, my King?"

This only fills Aemond more with pleasure, who grunts and makes you increase the speed of your movements, as you moan loudly and feel him deliciously also ground on his feet and penetrate you harder.

The sound of skin on skin, your juices with his sweat and now Aemond claiming one of your breasts as he takes the nipple into his mouth, only makes you moan more in pleasure.

"Oh yes, my King. Just like that, please."

You whine, moaning and leaning further into him.

"Oh fuck—yes," he murmurs into your breasts, kneading them completely to his liking, "Yes, my Lady. Oh Gods."

You sigh and moan louder when Aemond suddenly takes all your hair in one of his hands, making it into a fist, to forcefully pull you down as he raises his hips in a firm upward motion, penetrating you hard and hitting exactly your nerve core.

All the air escapes your lungs and that explosion inside you begins to grow as Aemond penetrates you in that steadier way, not letting go of your hair, holding you tight.

"Are you going to cum?" he asks you in a deep husky voice.

"Yes," you moan, "Oh—fuck," you whimper.

"Cum, cum all on my cock, my sweet girl."

Then you are no longer thinking straight and become completely absorbed in the moment as he brings one of his hands between your bodies and begins to stroke his thumb over your most sensitive spot, causing you to close your eyes tightly, arch your back and continue to move with more fervor.

"Yes, yes, just like that," you moan, "Please, don't stop."

"Look at you," he grins, "Making a mess."

"Please, my King."

He grunts and increases his speed more as he again begins to suck on one of your nipples and then everything about you explodes in a delicious and more than satisfied way as Aemond fucks you hard across your peak, seeking his own release.

And by the end of the night, with one hard, strong, final thrust, he spills all of his seed inside you, filling you completely.

You let yourself fall completely on top of him, just as exhausted and breathing fast, catching your breath, as Aemond continues all soft and warm inside you.

You relax your lips and lazily raise your gaze to him, while still remaining on top of his hard, strong body, to see him also catching his breath, calming his heart rate and looking so tired.

You leave a soft kiss on his lips and move off on top of him to lie down next to him.

As every night, Aemond pulls your body to him and hugs your back as the two of you begin to be carried away by sleep, both of you more than satisfied, especially him after so much pressure and stress.

This is the way you can help him and be there for him. Honestly you don't complain, because as each time Aemond takes you, everything becomes more and more intense, already being more of a necessity.

Even during the day, one of his guards seeks you out and lets you know that the prince has requested your presence immediately in the room where Aemond plans his strategies and has meetings with all his advisors.

Arriving there, you expected anything but Aemond needing to fuck you right there in his chair and where it is a public place, even though only he and you is here.

"Try not to make too much noise, my love."

That's all he says to you and then makes you start riding him again, while you hold on and lean on his shoulders, moaning into his neck, while he listens to the sounds you make only for him and continues to demand that you move faster, harder and deeper.

You let your whole head fall back, closing your eyes in pleasure and you part your lips, as Aemond attacks and leaves marks all over your neck, grunting and holding you as if his life depended on it.

You move deep from front to back and he moans into your neck.

"Oh fuck—just like that, don't stop," he tells you hoarsely.

You gasp and muffle your moans as he desperately makes your breasts spring free through the collar of your dress and attacks them like a hungry man, as he brings both hands to the soft skin of your ass, kneading both your cheeks.

You cry out from the pleasure and continue to move deep from front to back.

"Yes, Aemond, yes," you moan.

"Always so responsive," he murmurs with delight.

He gazes proudly at your hard nipples, slightly red and swollen from his caresses, as he brings his hand to your center and strokes you with his thumb firmly, feeling all your juices sliding down his fingers.

"You like it, don't you?" he watches you with a grin, "You like it when I fuck you hard."

"Yes," you say as best you can, in a whisper.

He grunts and stops your movements abruptly to suddenly charge you and rise from his chair, as he sits you on the edge of the big table in front of him where the maps perch and begins to penetrate you faster and harder.

That time you had to drink moon tea again, considering that the dragon seed is strong and Aemond insists that always after every act, you must drink it, not even being able to let yourself forget it.

So the days go by when the unexpected news arrives about the battle of Lakeshore, where Aemond loses numerous men, all from the Lannister army, where they were attacked by a Northern army, being a major loss for the Greens and a victorious battle for the Blacks.

Aemond, furious, orders the death of Simon Strong and his entire family, as well as nearly killing the soldier who told him the news, blinded by his own anger and madness.

While you confined to your room, you can only wait for him to return to you when he has taken care of the whole matter, but with that great loss, Aemond and everyone begins to realize that they are losing the war.

If before Aemond didn't sleep and rest properly, with this news he doesn't anymore, to which you can only continue to wait, worried about him but unable to truly do anything, spending days in which you don't see Aemond anymore.

Until one night, the unexpected news arrives, but this time only for you.

"Where is Prince Aemond, Ellya?" you ask the maid who has been at your disposal since you arrived here, "Have you seen him? Do you know what he is doing with his men?"

She gives you a somewhat wary and curious look at the same time.

"You haven't heard, my Lady?"

This immediately catches your attention and you watch her completely attentively.

"About what?"

She blinks a couple of times, watching you a little surprised, to which this draws your attention more and alerts you, watching her intrigued, while she looks hesitant for a few moments, not quite sure if she is the one to tell you the new news.

"Ellya, what's wrong?" you urge her, beginning to worry.

She swallows hard, lets out a long breath and looks at you with some pity.

"The prince has approached the witch, the witch of Harrenhal," she lets you know, "For days now it seems the two of them started having their meetings."

You watch her more than attentively and confused at the same time, having no idea who this witch is, but instantly getting a bad feeling about the whole thing. You ask Ellya to explain who she is and she tells you everything.

Alys Rivers.

That's her name and apparently she's a bastard of Lyonel Strong, the once lord of Harrenhal who burned to death along with his son right here in this castle.

When you then remember… she is that same woman that Aemond did not give the order to kill and apparently spared her life when he killed Simon Strong and all his kin.

Instantly your assumptions are correct when Ellya tells you that this woman possesses dark magic and those kinds of abilities through witchcraft. And again you don't get that good feeling if Aemond has searched for her and is apparently having meetings with her.

Certainly after knowing this, you can't ask Aemond anything about it since you don't see him and don't dare go looking for him with all the duties he has to attend to.

However, the uncertainty lingers and all the time you think about it, feeling worried just imagining Aemond having encounters with her and also scared about what she might do.

Until one night finally the opportunity presents itself when you see the night through the small windows in comparison to the Keep, unable to fall asleep, when the doors open and you turn to see Aemond enter the chamber after so many days.

"Aemond?"

You call out to him in your soft, sleepy voice from trying to fall asleep but you simply can't, thinking all the while of him and her, the witch, as he watches you without at all expecting to hear your voice.

And even though you shouldn't, at that moment you feel sorry for him. You can tell he hasn't slept well in days, his whole face shows it to you, the extreme tiredness reflecting through his body as well, truly worrying you.

And that's why he actually watches you without having any expression on his face, leaving his sword on one of the tables and starting to take off his belts, preparing to sleep.

"Keep sleeping. I'll join you in a moment," he tells you just the same without much emotion in his voice.

"Where have you been?" you still ask him, carving your eyes, watching him closely, "I haven't seen you in days."

He lets out a long breath, turning his back on you and continuing to remove his clothes.

"Are you forgetting that we are at war?" he asks, "What do you mean, where have I been? Of course I have been leading all my men and attending to my duties as Protector of the Realm."

You press your lips together, instantly understanding that you must not upset and irritate him any more than he clearly already is. Still, like the stubborn one you are, you can't help yourself and again speak in his direction.

"I know, Aemond," you say softly, "But that's not what I meant. I meant that you didn't come here to sleep."

"I barely have time to sleep, Y/N," he tells you definitely more serious, alerting you, "And now that I finally have the chance, you're not letting me have my five minutes of peace," he tells you bitterly.

"No, Aemond, I swear that's not my intention," you instantly clarify, concerned.

"Then?" he looks over his shoulder at you, serious and clearly irritated, "You're going to let me be able to undress and sleep in peace?"

"Yes, of course," you tell him instantly, bewildered, "I-I just wanted…" you bite your lips, nervous, "…to know where you'd been," you mumble barely audibly.

And even though Aemond has heard you, he still doesn't say anything else, still taking off his clothes and with every movement feeling more tiredness all over his body, urgently needing to lie down on the bed and sleep as much as he can.

But you continue to watch him more attentively than before, Alys Rivers not leaving your thoughts and what he has talked or has been doing with her, that precisely not leaving you alone.

So in the middle of the silence, you dare to ask him in a soft murmur, watching him carefully.

"You were with Alys Rivers?"

Then suddenly Aemond stops his movements abruptly, slowly turning his head towards your direction, but only a part of it, barely managing to watch you over his shoulder, the tension in his whole body being more than visible.

When without further ado he resumes his movements, saying absolutely nothing to you and turning his back to you, while you continue to watch him attentively and expectantly for his response, whatever it may be.

And it is not until Aemond finishes processing your question that he finally answers you or rather answers you with another question in a serious and cold voice.

"Who told you that?"

You swallow hard, truly not wanting to give Ellya away.

"I heard it."

"From who? Where?"

He demands to know, more serious and annoyed, turning fully towards you. That's when you see his dark face, clearly annoyed, you stare at him bewildered, really not understanding his behavior.

"What's wrong? Why didn't you want me to know?"

At this he continues to stare at you annoyed, his lips pressed into a thin line and clearly irritated by your questioning, while you, starting to feel fearful, still continue to stare at him with your whole face soft but in confusion.

Aemond lets a few seconds pass, when he averts his gaze from yours for a moment as he licks his lips and finally lets out a long breath to turn his back on you again.

He reassures himself, having already taken into account from before that it would be impossible for you not to hear the name of the witch of Harrenhal and also how he would find himself in her company at times.

However, in a way I had hoped that you wouldn't find out and wouldn't question anything about it.

But with everything going on, him losing the war and resorting to desperate measures, there is basically no such thing as his patience and good humor.

"She's helping me with some war matters, nothing else."

He tells you coldly as you watch him and listen completely attentively, not understanding his answer.

"War matters?" you repeat.

"Yes, war matters," he repeats back to you as well, serious.

"And it's not something I can help you with?" you ask him without understanding.

He lets out a long sigh again this time, his patience again beginning to hang by a thread.

"No Y/N, you don't know all of Riverlands and the most convenient spots where I can send and command my men," he tells you serious, "Nor do you know the secret paths and where they might attack us by surprise, but she does."

At this you remain completely silent, watching him with your lips parted, thinking about his words.

This really continues to give you a very bad feeling, frustrating you because even though he has explained, you still don't feel convinced and can't do anything about it, not wanting to bother him anymore.

But it strikes you how he has been annoyed that you have asked him about her, that you have talked about her, so bringing up the matter again would not be smart on your part.

Still, you can't stay quiet.

"Nothing else?"

"Yes, nothing else," he tells you quickly and still in his serious tone.

You don't say anything else, watching him attentively, while he remains completely naked in front of you, as he usually likes to sleep. And still not feeling convinced, you decide not to bother him anymore and return to your same position as before to be lucky enough to sleep this time.

But you can't.

You continue watching the void, when you feel Aemond's weight sinking on the bed next to you, while you turn your back to him and think about his words, also about the witch and the two of them.

You press your lips together and finally close your eyes, needing to sleep to stop thinking.

However, this one night Aemond doesn't even come close towards you. Normally he always wraps one of his arms around your body and pulls you close to his body to sleep close, but nothing, he doesn't do anything.

And the next morning you wake up, he is gone.

Your days again pass without seeing Aemond, always being in your chamber and barely getting any news about what is going on with your prince and his side of the war.

At least you find comfort in your maidservants, with whom you talk and give you some company.

You also wander around the castle only a little during the day, not lasting long for fear that Aemond might find out and get annoyed with you not having any guards with you. But considering you don't have much to do, this comforts you as well.

When one day, the whispers in the cursed castle become too loud and rumors reach your ears: your prince is sharing a bed with the witch of Harrenhal.

This shocking and devastating news you don't want to believe, thinking that it is simply impossible because Aemond is yours, just as you are his. Or so you thought.

But even though you try to convince yourself that Aemond wouldn't do such a thing to you, betray you with another woman, let alone a witch, sadly it all starts to make sense to you.

He hadn't gone to sleep in his chamber, you also chambered, basically you didn't see him at all. And even though he told you he barely has time to sleep, he still must have… but not in the room you both share.

You really don't want to believe it, especially since he told you himself that she's only been helping him with war matters, nothing else.

But you knew all along that he wasn't being honest with you, you had that intuition and these rumors just confirmed it.

It is not until you see Aemond again after severe days without him being in your presence that you can finally confront him about it.

"You lied to me, didn't you?"

You ask him with your soft tone but sad at the same time, disappointed, with tears wanting to start coming out of your eyes when he watches you and he doesn't even need to ask you what you mean, because he instantly knows.

But it hurts you more when he lets out a long breath, it being another one of those times where you both barely see each other and he's already upset and annoyed by your behavior.

"See? This is why I didn't tell you, because of how you react," he tells you serious and watching you badly, tired.

"So you were planning to never tell me?" you ask sadly.

"You don't understand Y/N. You don't understand anything."

You look at him hurt.

"And how am I supposed to understand if you don't talk to me?" you ask confused, "Is this why you decided to bring me here with you? For me to stand here waiting for you while you enjoy the company of another woman?"

He lets out a huff as he rolls his eye in annoyance.

"You're getting it all wrong," he tells you serious, "I'm not doing it for my own satisfaction, I'm doing it because it's necessary and in order to win the war."

You continue watching him confused, not understanding what he is referring to or rather not understanding what that has to do with lying with her, to which Aemond, frustrated, explains to you in order to end this matter once and for all.

"Alys… she can see things, she knows things" he tells you, "Her power helps me to know what will happen next and what exactly I must do against the threats, what strategies to plan in order not to lose more of my men and thus win the war."

"And for that you must sleep with her?" you ask in pain.

"Getting that kind of information is not easy, Y/N," he tells you absurdly, "Of course she must have asked me for something in return and that is her form of payment."

You deny with your head, still watching him confused.

"But you don't necessarily have to pay her that way. You are the prince, she must obey you and in return for that… you can offer her gold or something else."

Crees que eso no fue lo mismo que yo pensé en ofrecerle?

"Do you think that wasn't the same thing I thought of offering her?" he inquires you annoyed, "Of course I did but she give me nothing."

And yet he decided to give her exactly what she wanted.

Your mind tells you, as you continue to watch him intently and pained, as he turns his back to you and you see him starting to take off his belts at the same time you feel that sharp pain in your chest, thinking about all the weeks he had been keeping this from you.

And when you asked him, he still lied to you.

"But…" you try to say, watching him sadly, "I'm sure you don't need her, Aemond."

He lets out a derisive, dry snort, shaking his head slightly, this hurting you instantly as well, but you continue to insist on changing his mind so that he doesn't have to do this… win the war through witchcraft.

"There are other ways that I know are more complicated and time consuming, but you can win and fairly, I know that," you observe him hopefully.

He laughs unfunnily, low and bitterly, as he turns to you again and looks at you as if you were a fool.

"How easy it is to talk when you're not the one serving the Realm and losing a war, isn't it?"

You watch him completely speechless, while he takes a couple of steps towards you watching you even in that way and completely upset and annoyed because you don't understand him.

You don't understand anything of what is happening and what he must be doing.

"What are you doing here besides warming my bed, hmm?"

He inquires you with a cruel tone, his words instantly being a dagger to your heart.

"Yes, it's true, I was the one who decided to bring you here with me and I made you a promise for the end of all this, didn't I?"

He asks you seriously and expectantly.

"But now the least you can do is to understand me and give me peace, whether you like what I have to do or not," he makes it clear in a threatening tone, "And what I must do now Y/N, for the good of the Realm and to secure my brother's Throne, is to keep Alys on my side because I need her and I need her very much."

This last is completely etched in your mind, watching it attentively, your lips half open and the first tear falling down your cheek, under the attentive and annoying gaze of Aemond, who in spite of this does not care and turns away to continue undressing.

Then the other tears run down both of your cheeks, feeling more intense that sharp pain in your chest, hurting you completely by his insensitivity and how even though you know he is sleeping with another woman, he still doesn't care about you.

When has Aemond ever needed you the way he has told you he needs her?

Never.

You thought that bringing you here with him was his way of telling you that he needs you, but now that you have to share him with another woman and he apparently doesn't care about your feelings, you think it was all a bad idea.

You swallow the tight lump in your throat and clear your tears as you avoid completely breaking down by being in the same place as him.

"Perhaps I should go back to King's Landing," you say amidst the silence and tense atmosphere, avoiding hearing yourself as broken as you really are, "Perhaps I should talk to my father, apologize and do my duty by getting married."

Again Aemond lets out an unfunny and completely incredulous laugh, again turning to watch you but with the difference that he is actually watching you slightly amused and expectantly at the same time.

"Don't tell me, Y/N."

He watches you intently.

"And who are you going to marry, hmm? Or rather who or who will want to marry you?"

He asks you still amused.

"Haven't you thought that I've already ruined you for any other man by the simple fact of having brought you here with me? Haven't you thought that with that alone people can assume an intimate relationship between the two of us? Although it's not really an assumption, it's a fact, isn't it? For a long time now."

Tears again steadily stream down your cheeks, watching him with all the pain in your gaze, as he again averts his gaze from yours and again shakes his head in disbelief.

And you know he's right.

But you don't think it's fair that he can get annoyed with you when you call the attention of other men, but you are in a much worse position, he doesn't care how you feel because he is the man, he is the prince and you must understand him.

So it doesn't matter that he can have as many women as he wants at his disposal, in any way, while you should be reserved only for him.

"Stop crying," he tells you cold and serious, without looking at you, "If you feel so bad for Alys, understand that this is just for the moment, it will all be over when I win the war, so stop this foolishness."

And there it is again… his insensitivity.

And after that… everything changes.

That night Aemond again doesn't try to touch you or hug you during his sleep, nor is it as if you would want him to, considering that he had probably been in her company before.

That is why now knowing that Aemond warms her bed, you no longer desire his touch or even his presence.

And not only because of that, but also because of the way he had made you feel with his cruel behavior and with his cruel words, and that painful feeling just won't go away, not even him realizing how much he did and does hurt you.

Fortunately you continue not seeing him very often, in all that time just locked in your chamber, not even having the courage to talk and enjoy the company of the maids as usual, wanting to be alone all the time, going back to your days of having no appetite and no mood for anything.

If Aemond notices, he doesn't say anything to you or do anything about it, just watches you intently every time he appears in the chamber, where you just greet him and nothing else, not really giving him attention like before, your whole gaze dull, empty, disinterested and sad.

You can smell a strong scent, like citrus and a bit sweet at the same time on his clothes sometimes when he comes to the chamber very late at night, certainly belonging to her and of course he must not even notice it.

And not only that, cautiously you can see some marks on his neck and chest as he begins to undress, to which you lie on the bed with your back to him and completely covering yourself with the sheets, letting a few tears fall without him seeing you and without making a sound until you fall asleep.

Now all you think of when you see him is him in the company of his witch, receiving everything she offers him, her visions and letting him know everything he wants to know, in exchange for sleeping with her.

It is not until days later that he slowly begins to approach you again to caress and touch you.

At first you didn't let him turn your back to him and he started to caress you by putting his arm across your stomach, trying to pull you closer to him.

But when you stayed completely still and with your eyes full of tears, he felt the tension all over your body and at the end he let out a long sigh and stopped touching you, resigning himself.

You didn't understand why he needed that from you when he certainly always gets that from her.

That went on for a few more weeks, until Aemond was beginning to lose patience with not being able to have you that he finally lost it completely.

And you had to give in to pleasing him, letting him make you his after a considerable time. However, he was no longer making you feel anything.

Just the thought that he had previously been inside her and now he's inside you looking like he can't get enough… it was too much.

Aemond doesn't notice your lack of disinterest as he begins to fuck you, nor does he notice how your heart breaks into pieces. And it's not until you stop being responsive to his touch that he's finally disconcerted.

Without feeling your juices that made penetration easier, he gasps and lifts his gaze to you, peeling his face from your neck, watching you intently and curiously, still entering you continuously.

"What is it, my lady? Doesn't it feel good?"

You don't answer.

You don't even look him in the eye.

At this, Aemond kisses you with need, moving in and out of you faster, needing your response, for you to feel the same as he does, as before.

But it doesn't feel good, not good at all.

After that night, unable to stand being cooped up in your chamber any longer for the whole day, you decide to go out into the hallways and eventually end up in the kitchens to offer your hands to the maids for whatever it is they need.

You can't even stand your loneliness anymore, so you finally enjoy the company of the maids and help out as needed, even taking your meals with them and even returning at night to the chamber, almost at the same time as Aemond.

Surprisingly, he notices this and questions you about doing maid duties as well, telling you that you have no need, to which you without much emotion tell him that it's all right, that you like to help, not to say anything else to him and clearly not to give more importance to the matter.

In those moments is when he starts to get tired of your behavior, when the truth is that even he doesn't understand himself.

Before it bothered him that you cared too much about him and that you questioned absolutely everything, but now that you have stopped doing it, it also bothers him your lack of interest in him when before you were always there at his disposal, also bothering him your cold behavior.

But it bothers him more that you don't even respond to him anymore when he makes you his.

However, he knows he can't blame you for her, for Alys, because you know what he is doing with her in the darkness of her chamber in exchange for what.

But it still bothers him.

Fortunately for you, he decides to give you time and not force you into anything again if you don't want him to, to which you could only feel relieved, although you still have to endure how he hugs you during his sleep but nothing more.

It is not until one night that you return to your chamber later than usual, since you lost track of time and were all the time in the company of the maids, that you think that Aemond must probably still be attending to his duties or that he must already be asleep… or that he must be in the company of his witch.

The latter is what you believe the most, not surprisingly. In the end, however, it does surprise you.

About to open the door to your room, you don't have to, as it opens on the other side and you find yourself face to face with a woman with pale skin, huge green eyes, long black hair and wearing a robe around her body, holding it with one of her hands.

Your eyes widen and you freeze completely, as she stares back at you with such intensity that it almost brings you to tears, but in the end it is not that, but the realization of what has happened here, in your chamber, which is in fact more yours than Aemond's.

You then watch behind her, where Aemond instantly watches you with an expression you can't really read, as he finishes buttoning his belt, with his entire torso naked and the clear marks on his neck.

Again… you feel that sharp pain in your chest, the sadness and humiliation hitting you hard, with your tears starting to want to spill out of your eyes and run down your cheeks, watching him with the most hurt look of all.

How could he dare?

You don't even expect anything else, you just run away from there, tears streaming down your cheeks instantly, as you hear Aemond say your name, quickly coming after you.

But you don't look back, not even wanting to look him in the eye, having no idea where you're really heading, but not in your greatest madness are you ever going to lie in that bed again, not even he having any respect for you in that regard.

Still Aemond is quicker and manages to catch up to you, grabbing you hard by your arm, demanding you to stop and watch him, pulling you closer to his body, to which you put up resistance and crying you try with all your might to get him to let go of you to get away from him, but he won't let you.

"Y/N! Look at me!"

You can't.

You don't want to.

He irritated, grabs you firmly with both hands, reluctantly stopping you, while you continue to cry and feel completely weak, everything about him, his grip on you when he had touched her on your bed before and that scent of hers also impregnated in him… it's too much.

"Let go of me."

You say pleadingly, sobbing, trying to pull away from him.

"Stop fucking acting like this!" he exclaims to you in annoyance.

You deny with your head.

"H-how could you?"

"Look at me," he demands.

"No! Let go of me!" you resist again, very hurt and very humiliated.

"I said look at me!"

He exclaims to you angrily, grabbing your face with both of his hands and making you look at him in a firm and demanding manner, his grip strong.

At this you stand completely still, but still crying and sobbing, trying to control yourself, but you cannot.

Thinking about it, about her and him already hurt you enough, but now having seen it… you can't stand it, as well as his touch now on you, finding it unpleasant.

And when you finally open your eyes and dare to look at him again, he is worried about noticing all that pain, rejection and displeasure.

However, he doesn't allow it and continues to hold you in that firm manner.

"Listen to me," he says seriously and firmly, "This was the last time, the last one."

You put up a resistance again, not believing his words at all, looking absurd in the midst of all your pain.

"Y/N!" he exclaims stopping you again, looking at you as honestly as possible, " It has been the last time, truly," he insists, "I promise."

You say nothing to him, just continue to cry almost silently, as he promises and assures you over and over again, wanting to reassure you, when the truth is you don't even believe him, so you make him believe that you do, to which he finally lets go of you.

"Go back to the chamber and wait there for me, she's gone," he tells you softly, but still firm and demanding.

And you are surprised how he dares in ordering you such a thing, while you just nod so you can finally get away from him and feeling relieved you do so, definitely not going back to that room, at all.

You find another empty chamber where you lie down on the bed right there and continue to let the tears flow freely from your eyes, trying to calm down little by little, feeling so lonely, so silly and as if you mean nothing.

It is not until after Aemond finishes talking to Alys and returns to the chamber expecting to find you there, but nothing.

He lets out a long breath, frustrated, only to later ask his guards where you've gone to find you in another chamber, completely balled up, asleep and with dried tears on your cheeks, your whole face suffering.

He lets out another long breath, running a hand through his face and hair, shuffling it in frustration, that he decides not to do anything else, just leave you alone to sleep, that being the least he can do for you after witnessing such a thing taking advantage of your absence.

Severe days has passed since that breaking point between you and Aemond, where neither of you have spoken about it.

He tried, of course, to explain to you so that he could properly ask for your forgiveness, but you never let him, not wanting or needing to hear anything from him, still too hurt and too humiliated to bear such thing.

Since then, you now sleep in that new chamber, this not being to Aemond's liking at first.

But acting so cold to him, not even being able to look him in the eye when he spoke to you and making you so tense in his presence, he understood that he could not force you to sleep with him if you did not wish to do so.

Aemond hated every moment when he did not wake up with you by his side, also when he could not touch you and make you his, or have the maids assist him in absolutely everything, when before it was only you.

If he kept his promise not to have any more meetings with Alys, you were no longer interested in knowing, only focusing on you and sometimes on him when he asked you for something, but always with that cold and indifferent behavior.

When the time of battle comes again.

He and his entire army prepares to march to a point where Alys had told him before that it would be where an army fighting for his half-sister would be and that is approaching Harrenhal.

Aemond awaits the return of Sr. Criston with a small but efficient army that he prepared for him by sending him and those men to the nearest house settlements of Harrenhal to demand that they bend the knee for his brother Aegon.

Once he returns with those men, they can finish preparing and stop that army of Rhaenyra's, having him more opportunity to protect his entire army from the skies and burn as much as he can.

You along with some maids provide food to the men who will go to battle, you also help with their supplies, walking back and forth under the watchful eye of Aemond being so helpful to his men, this not pleasing him but not being able to do anything about it either.

When an ambush happens.

Everything happens too fast, as suddenly a not very big army surrounds all of Aemond's surprisingly with black flags, symbol of Rhaenyra.

And then a man grabs you by force, takes you to the center of the whole ambush and then puts a dagger in your neck.

[yazthebookish]

This might be a bit long but the Gwynriel Reddit thread inspired me to let my thoughts flow about Gwyn and Azriel.

P.s. this will include some HOFAS spoilers.

I've said this before but SJM choosing to end Azriel's chapter with Gwyn is a choice. It's the beginnings and the endings of a chapter that authors tend to put a lot of thought into—so her ending the chapter which felt like her nudging readers' to Gwyn's direction is intentional.

Gwyn was not just a random addition, given their interactions throughout ACOSF their scene in the bonus chapter didn't feel out of place (even if readers' didn't expect to see her in it).

People try to invalidate the bonus chapter as much as they can but HOFAS had proved once again that they are important and canon (though I do think SJM and her publisher need to include these in the main books because they are crucial).

"You depend so much on a bonus chapter that a lot of readers don't have access to"

True but that doesn't mean the next book can't fill in the blanks because Azriel and Gwyn were already interacting in ACOSF, so having that romantic development in the next book (and the possible reveal that they're mates) + ON PAGE will still make it up for the readers that never read the bonus chapter. Like, CC4 will definitely bring up the fact that Ruhn and Lidia got married (despite it happening in a bonus).

I always considered the bonus chapter as a teaser for what will happen in the next book, Sarah confirmed she sprinkled little crumbs and I quote "I want to hear all your theories after you read the book and his [Azriel's] bonus scene, the crumbs have all been scattered, little bread crumbs everywhere" and it will keep readers guessing until the next book is out. So you won't know for sure how relevant or significant the bonus chapter is and the crumbs she scattered until you read the next book.

With that being said, Gwyn's cameo in the bonus chapter didn't come without some interesting clues: Azriel's shadows didn't warn him she was around, they were curious about her and she smiled at them, they danced and sang around her, Azriel revealed he sings because she asked, she thanked him with a smile and he felt settled even his shadows calmed.

We never saw his shadows react to anyone the way they did with Gwyn. They seem drawn to her, they danced, they sang, and while there are many theories about it but I absolutely do think if the shadows would be drawn to someone it would be Azriel's mate.

"Azriel and Gwyn had no romantic development and he didn't think about kissing her and all that"

But did every SJM couple start that way? No. And someone expressing the desire to kiss and hook up with someone is not always an indication of endgame (I can count multiple couples who kissed but weren't endgame).

The crumbs we had of them in ACOSF sets the groundwork for a romantic relationship to build in the next book—because who doesn't want to read about them both falling in love on page?

And yes, Sarah is capable of writing a love story from scratch in a single book (e.g., Tower of Dawn). Another example is how ACOMAF started with Feyre being in love with Tamlin and halfway through she started to really fall in love with Rhys.

The whole Azriel/Elain/Lucien triangle is messy as it is, so I don't think SJM would turn it into a square by inserting Gwyn. SJM could've chose not to give Gwyn and Azriel any ties in any way whether it was him rescuing her, him training the Valkyries, and again, including her in his own bonus chapter (hell even her boss:guardian Clotho made an appearance).

But she did and based on her pattern with her male love interests in particular, she doesn't really insert a new female or have females fight over the male love interest. I don't ever see Elain and Gwyn fight over Az, each might have an issue with Az on their own but do I see them argue with each other over Azriel? Absolutely not.

And if you look at the sequence of the scenes in his chapter, it gives a better idea of how it was planned:

1. Starts with Azriel reflecting on his loneliness while everyone left.

2. Elain shows up and they interact, Azriel gives her the necklace and they almost kiss.

3. Rhysand interferes and Az stops the kiss and tells Elain it was a mistake.

4. Az and Rhys argue and ends with Rhys ordering him to stay away from Elain and dismissing him.

5. Az leaves to the House of Wind wanting to work off the frustration but finds that Gwyn already occupied the training ring.

6. Gwyn and Az interact and he leaves the scene feeling settled down and his shadows calmed.

7. He wakes up, goes to the River House and finds Elain's necklace, he pockets it with the intention of returning it to the shop after the snowball fight.

8. Instead of the shop, he goes to the library to ask Clotho to give the gift to Gwyn and refuses to leave with it.

9. Going back and forth, Clotho eventually agrees and said she will tell Gwyn a friend gave it to her and she thanks Az for the joy it will bring to Gwyn.

10. Az leaves but the mention of Gwyn's joy sparked something in him that it brought a slight smile to his face, he buried the image in his chest where it glows quietly.

Both interactions with Elain and Rhys ended with him feeling miserable, but both interactions with Gwyn and Clotho ended with him feeling lighter and better—and to me that shows me how intentional SJM was with creating these parallels (including the shadows skittered back vs the shadows danced and sang).

Instead of Gwyn and Clotho we could've had Mor or Nesta or Amren, but SJM chose Gwyn and Clotho. Like, it could've ended after Rhys's argument but again, it's a writer's choice.

That's why no matter how many times I reread ACOSF my mind doesn't change much because SJM is not that subtle.

[sunny44]

Unexpected Revelations and Intimate Confessions

(Ruin it pt. 3)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x journalist!reader

Warnings: mentions of sex.

Summary: You and max were always teasing each other and over the years it turned into a huge sexual tension, until the fights of all the years and the accumulated lust turned into one long night of great sex.

Previous chapter | Next Chapter

We were in Mykonos in Greece for our vacations, arriving at the hotel we took our things and went to the reception to check in.

"Here are the keys for the two rooms." The woman hands them over.

"Excuse me, two rooms?"

"Well it's the one I have registered in Pierre Gasly's name."

"Damn I forgot to ask for another room, I was going to share with Charles and you were going to be alone but I forgot to ask for another when Max said he was coming."

"Are the two rooms with king size beds?" Charles asked.

"No, ours is with two single beds and hers is with the king size one."

"Well we're in a room so we can still share."

"So you two share a room." Pierre says. "Especially since it won't be the first time you share a bed then."

"What do you mean?" Charles asks.

"Pierre."

"So what's going on and why am I the only one who apparently doesn't know?"

"We had sex." Max says and I slap his arm.

"Max."

"What?"

"You weren't supposed to tell."

"And why not? Pierre apparently already knew."

"Never mind." I left Charles shocked in the back and went straight to the elevators.

Max followed me next to Pierre who was explaining to Charles what had just been revealed.

"Okay but wait, did it just happen out of nowhere?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like you have this huge sexual desire for each other we all knew but you just met and boom you were having sex?"

"Of course not, I went to Max's championship victory party and he drank and kept calling me drunk and Daniel had to go after me so I could take him away since he didn't want to go out with anyone else there, so he ended up going to my hotel room since the key to his was with Daniel and then boom we had sex." I explained and then walked into the room leaving the three idiots behind.

I put my suitcase in a corner and started to get my stuff to take a shower, I walked into the bathroom and heard the door to the room close. When the hot water hit me I could feel my body relax, it was all I needed after this long flight, the bathroom door opened and I felt a body behind me.

"What are you doing?" I asked with my eyes closed since I was under the water.

"I thought I'd save some water."

"We're not even the ones paying for this water, why should we save it?"

"You're right, we don't need to." He press me on the wall and started kissing me.

"Max..." he starts kissing my neck.

"Huh?"

"We shouldn't be doing this before we talk." I mumbled feeling their hands slide down my back.

"You just need to tell me to stop." He said in my ear. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No."

"That's what I thought."

I finished drying off and put on my pajamas and sat on the bed, as I was about to lie down I snorted loudly remembering that I had to dry my hair before bed.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Max asked coming out of the bathroom drying his hair with the towel.

"Yeah it's just that I forgot I had to dry my hair."

"I'll dry it for you.”

"You don’t have to."

"But I want to." He says and comes back from the bathroom with the dryer and I just stay silent.

Max starts running his hand through my hair as he dries it and I close my eyes at his touch, it was relaxing and I was already sleepy so it just made me sleepier.

"Tired?"

"Uhum." He laughed.

"I'm done, let's go to sleep." Max puts the dryer away in the bathroom and lies down on the bed pulling me to his chest. "I know I'm complicated and also our situation but I promise you I’ll make it right and that everything I said was true. And I'll prove to you that I meant what I said about my feelings for you."

"I believe you." I said softly. "But can we talk about it tomorrow? I'm very tired."

"Yes we can." He pulled me closer and I buried my face in his neck and then slept.

Taglist: @44-ilton @babyvinnie @hockey-racing-fubol @xjval @xcinnamongirl @dudenhaaa27 @evans-dejong @chilwellspulisic @rossylightwood @rm25711 @imperfect-paragon @formula1mount @flwr-stella

[missvelvetsstuff]

No Benefits

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.

Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.

Notes: Steve and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon

Chapter 8

Warnings: swearing, angst, references to sex

The compound was tense the week after Cookie left. Tony was still pissed that she was gone and he couldn't get his favorite cookies. On top of that, fixing the Avengers gym was a major undertaking thanks to the holographic projectors that were used for team training simulations. Tony stood and watched as Bucky did most of the clean up before the tech team went in to replace everything he had destroyed.

Everyone was walking on eggshells as they waited for Nick Fury to return from off world. Of course he already knew what happened but was looking forward to bitching out the people who pushed her to leave. He was due sometime this week.

Sharon tried to get close to Bucky but he wanted to wallow by himself. He also shunned Nat who tried to distract him with her Widow seduction techniques. Anytime they were in the same room with Bucky, they were trying to get his attention. They would flirt, wear sexy and revealing outfits, act helpless so they could turn to him to open a jar or reach a higher shelf or something equally dumb. Bucky didn't really see through their efforts like the rest of the team did, he just didn't care what either of them said or did.

One morning Nat slid up to Bucky and started rubbing his arm as he drank his coffee. He looked at the hand on his arm then picked it up and pushed it away from him like it was diseased. Sharon stepped in and tried to get between him and Nat but he rebuffed her as well. It ended in a fight in the common room, both women ended up in medical, Sharon had a broken nose while Nat had cracked ribs and both had various scratches and bruises.

Bucky had just turned away from them and leaned on the counter to finish his coffee, seemingly oblivious to the women fighting right behind him.

Tony had enough and had Friday lock both women in their own rooms until Fury returned and decided what to do with them. He snapped at Bucky "I'm getting really sick of your little harem with their attempts to seduce you and fighting with each other. You need to find a way to convince them you aren't interested."

Bucky shrugged "I don't know what you want me to do, Stark. I don't speak to either of them, except to tell them to leave me alone and I don't do anything to encourage them. I don't want either of them and I keep telling them but they won't stop." He sighed "I just want Cookie."

The morning after Cookie went to the Harlan Thrombey book launch, Bucky was sitting next to Steve, both eating the omelettes Sam made for them, when Nat entered the room "Gee Barnes, looks like your precious Cookie has moved on already."

Bucky sighed and shook his head but didn't say anything.

Nat took that as a sign to keep going "She ended up in the gossip pages, seen leaving a book release party with Boston's most eligible, and notorious, bachelor." She smirked when she heard Bucky's breath catch "Ransom Drysdale has a different debutante, model or actress on his arm every week but this new woman is a mystery." She quoted the article she was reading on her phone. "There's a bunch of pictures of him with other women. Cookie was definitely a step down for this guy."

She snapped at Bucky "Why are you pining for some dumpy little analyst when I'm right here?"

Bucky could feel his control waning he turned and snarled at her "I don't fucking want you! Leave me alone. What the fuck are you doing out of your room?"

Nat shrugged "I have my ways"

Tony skidded to a stop, out of breath "There you are, Romanoff. Do I need to put you in a holding cell? The big guys room? Stop trying to stir up more trouble and leave Barnes alone!"

Nat scoffed "Fine, I'll go." She rubbed her shoulder against Bucky and purred "You know where to find me."

Bucky pulled away from her, then looked over at Tony in shock, he never imagined Tony would stand up for him. He softly spoke "Thank you, Tony."

Tony nodded "I think we need to have Romanoff and Carter checked by medical again."

He looked at Bucky and smirked "You're not hideous but they have a level of obsession with you that doesn't seem natural. I want to be sure they are both completely clear of that serums influence before we even consider putting them back out in the field."

Bucky nodded, thinking "It's interesting that I'm fine and we haven't had any problems with Yelena, maybe she'll know something more about that serum and the 'cure'."

Tony hummed "Well, you have the super soldier juice and they mentioned having to dose you repeatedly but yeah, maybe Yelena can shed some light. Friday, where is Miss Belova?"

"She's in her quarters, boss. She hasn't left since returning from kidnapping Cookie."

Tony nodded at Bucky "I'll let you know if I find anything. If Romanoff bothers you, tell Friday and we'll put her in a holding cell until Fury returns."

After talking to Yelena and consulting with Bruce and Dr Cho, And a trip to Antonia's holding cell, Tony discovered that Antonia had used an updated version of the serum after Yelena released all of the widows. The cure worked but only partially, and it seemed that the orders that Sharon and Natasha had been given were still floating around in their heads, making them act out. Yelena had voluntarily locked herself in her room after all the drama with Antonia, as she took being controlled again very hard and didn't trust herself.

Tony called the team to move Nat and Sharon to holding cells since Nat had escaped her room once but when they went to find the women Sharon was still in her room but Natasha was nowhere to be found.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That same morning, outside of Boston...Cookie woke up, closing her eyes as quickly as she opened them. Too bright, the room was all windows. She groaned as she became more aware, she felt some new aches in her body, most noticeably between her legs. She also felt an arm around her waist and that she had no clothing on.

A warm body behind her moaned "Relax. It's early and Sunday." Pulling her closer.

Cookie turned to look at him, in the early morning light and with his messy bedhead, she realized the man looked a lot like Steve Rogers. The thought made her giggle, until he turned her so she was facing him and pulled her close until she felt his morning erection pressed up against her "I know you're not laughing at me, sweetheart." He started kissing down her neck and grinding up against her until they were caught up in each other again.

A few hours later Cookie felt her stomach grumble "Ransom" she whispered with no response "Ransom."

She pushed on his shoulder and he groaned "nooo"

She started tracing down his side until he choked back a laugh and grabbed her hands "What is it, Cookie? I'm tryna sleep here."

"Ransom! I'm hungry so you need to feed me or I need to go home and get some food."

Ransom started pushing up against her "I've got something to feed you, right-"

Cookie elbowed him in the ribs "Really Ransom? What are you, 12? I need some food." She sat up "I should get home, I've got chores to do"

Ransom scoffed "Chores? That's what maids are for."

Cookie got up and found her clothes "Yeah, well not all of us have trust funds so we can afford to hire help."

He sat up and watched as she dressed.

Once she was somewhat respectable looking, for a walk of shame, Cookie turned to Ransom, who had started playing with his phone once she was dressed. After leaning down to give him a kiss she stood to leave "Thanks, Ran, I needed that. It was fun. Maybe I'll see you around."

Ransom looked up "Do you need a ride or something?"

Cookie smiled "No, my uber is almost here, I'm good."

He leered at her "I don't do relationships, baby, but you have my number if you wanna do it again."

She giggled "Yeah, sure. I'm going to wait out front for my car, so I'll see you."

When Cookie arrived home she took a long hot shower and went over her memories of the last 24 hours. She certainly never expected to meet Ransom Drysdale and spend the night with him. His reputation was justified, the man had a wicked tongue and impressive stamina for someone with no enhancements. He definitely satisfied but wasn't someone to get caught up with, as his reputation also warned. She wasn't in Boston to find a new man anyhow, she was getting over one. He didn't compare to Bucky but she tried not to think about him, everything was too confusing and messy.

Cookie sighed, she missed him and the friendship they had before Sharon showed up to ruin everything. Even though she knew it wasn't really Sharon's fault, Cookie couldn't help the anger that tried to bubble up. She pushed it back down as she dried her hair and went downstairs to find something to eat.

Cookie didn't feel up for cooking so settled for a bowl of cereal, sat at the dining room table and picked her phone up only to be hit with dozens of notifications. She felt her stomach drop, apparently Ransom was big gossip and the new unknown woman he left the book launch with was Boston's biggest mystery. Some of her coworkers were asking if it was her while Annie just tagged her with a winky emoji. Maria Hill texted a question mark and 'call me'.

Cookie's head fell into her hands, she knew she wasn't in any trouble but hadn't expected her little fling to get so much outside attention. This was a potential complication that she didn't need. At least she knew Ransom was on the same page and didn't expect anything more from her.

She jumped when her phone rang but was relieved to see it was Sam.

"Hey babygirl, sounds like you're having some fun in Boston. Don't forget us little people while you're hanging with the world famous writer and his family."

Cookie laughed "Please, it was one party. I'm still the nerdy intel analyst you know and love."

"Well I hope so. You didn't hear it from me but Robocop is turning green."

Cookie scoffed "Right, he has them to keep him occupied."

"Yeah, they are fighting over him and he's ignoring them. It's almost entertaining, at least until I had to help pull them apart. I got scratched in the face, those ladies are ruthless."

Cookie laughed "Poor, poor, Sammy. Beat up by those mean ol girls. I'm sorry I'm not there to stitch you up."

"Pffft, wasn't all that. Just annoying." Sam whined "I miss you, when are you coming home?"

Cookie sighed "This is my home for now. I miss you too Sammy but the compound was just too much. You should come here, there's lots of history."

They ended the call with Sam promising to visit when he could get away after Cookie told him she would make his favorite cookies.

After they hung up, Cookie started going through her mail. A plain white envelope with the compound as the return address caught her eye. The simple block writing made her heart race as she realized it was Bucky's writing. It was the first time he'd tried to reach out to her since the night they spent together and she was afraid he was finally rejecting her friendship outright instead of just ignoring her. Being ignored had hurt but there had been some hope, however foolish it might have been, especially after learning that he had been drugged, but if he told her he didn't want her in this letter that would really be it.

Cookie's mind came up with all sorts of awful things he could say and what his words could do to her and she felt a panic attack crawling up her spine. She dropped the letter like it was on fire and backed away without opening it. She wasn't ready to read what Bucky had to say yet and left it on the table as she started her laundry and straightened up her townhouse.

@erelierraceala @capswife @ozwriterchick @cjand10 @wintrsoldrluvr @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @browneyedgrli @greatenthusiasttidalwave @hhiggs @dontworryboutitsweetheart-blog @behindmygreyeyes @pattiemac1 @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @calwitch @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @ordelixx @blackhawkfanatic @casey1-2007 @scott-loki-barnes @selella @hiireadstuff @winterschildren8

Every time she walked past the table she could see it out of the corner of her eye. It seemed to grow and catch her attention no matter where she went in the house but she just couldn't bring herself to open it yet.

Chapter 9

[theagstd]

One Night Stand ; 19

➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.

→ genre ; enemies to lovers | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn

→ Jungkook x y/n

→ contains smut, fluff and angst

→ Chapter nineteen ; wc | 3.2 k

primarily on Wattpad

prev chapter ⇢ index ⇢ next chapter

Who's awake at 4 am? Jungkook. he'd not gotten any sleep. He was up the whole night but managed to doze off a few times before he woke up to do his yoga. he'd woken up earlier for another reason, and that was to prepare breakfast for you before he left for work.

he didn't plan on making a toast or some ham and egg. Instead, he decided to go with a light meal, something easy and healthy to start your day off with. 'Doenjang Guk,' a soya bean paste soup. It's easy to cook and has marvellous health benefits. Besides, he was in a mood for soup anyway.

Jungkook took his time with the vegetables and the meat, which he cooked well, taking no risk with undercooked meat for you. He was satisfied with it, anyone could tell by his face. the scrunched, angry face that he makes when he enjoys the taste of food. he packed it with heat warmers so it didn't lose its warmth by the time he took it to your place, and then he took a shower and dressed up for work.

he planned to send the food over to yours by his driver then realized that it wouldn't be safe and he wanted to see you anyway, just in case...

Jungkook decided to drive himself to work today. He's planning on doing this until you're back at his place, so he won't have to travel back and forth to get your meals. It's almost 7 a.m., and he's standing in front of your door, waiting for you to answer the doorbell. 'Oh, she's fast asleep, I'm disturbing her.' One ring....then comes another...

but he's not answered. In one mind, he feels terrible that he's disturbing your sleep, and the other mind says that he should be concerned. but when he hears the keys clang, he's relieved after he meets your puffy face and dishevelled hair. your eyes are barely left open, you stand in front of him with a long shirt that covers your knees and half the buttons undone, revealing the top of your growing bump.

"What?" You ask him almost instantly, like he's a random sanitation worker who's here to collect last week's garbage. He wants to laugh at how awfully you communicate in the mornings. That being said, you're way too grumpy.

"breakfast? remember?" You rubbed your eyes, and they opened slightly, and then you nodded. "You didn't have to, but thanks."

"You are very ungrateful." "I'm just sleepy." You instantly answer, even when you're half awake, you've still got that never-back-down attitude. he hands over the little bag to you, that's got your freshly handmade soup that he'd done just for you as well as some cooked rice and kimchi if you felt like having it as a side dish.

"There's some soup, so warm it before you have it." He advises you, and you quickly nod while letting out a yawn, leaning on the door frame and leaving out breathes. he watches you while your eyes are closed. It's funny how you're his total opposite.

His type is someone who would wake him up at 4 am for yoga, and then there's you. That's exactly why he can never think of you for anything more. "Hey, don't sleep here, panda. get inside." "mmhmm."

you hum and try to turn around but slowly lose balance. 'Oh my god, this woman.' he thinks. The truth is, you spent the whole damn night watching tv and having snacks. you waited until he left the building, you put on the movie 'Damsel'

and if that was not enough, you even watched a couple of the movies that were newly released while munching on your craving, pizza-flavoured Pringles. you fell asleep at 4:45, so you're bound to be feeling drowsy at 7 am. "careful-" he hissed when you lost balance.

"I'm alright." You put your hands higher to let him know that it was nothing. "I'll bring you lunch. Let me know if you want anything in particular. Drop a text or- call? anything." "Sure, sure. good night." you close the door and waddle back to your room after placing the warm soup on your marble kitchen counter.

Jungkook chuckled and took the elevator to drive back to the office. He's gonna have a hard time concentrating at work after seeing you looking absolutely hilarious this morning.

-

The heating pad had kept the soup warm enough for it to savour the taste. You sat down on the couch and turned on the television, choosing a Netflix show while you had your late breakfast. one mouthful of the soup allowed hums to leave out of your lips, so you closed your eyes and leaned back on the sofa.

"Can the day get any better than this soup?" you ask yourself and continue to gulp down the liquid, occasionally pairing some kimchi with it but you've totally forgotten about the damn show that's been played because all your focus is solely on the broth.

you cleaned the dishes and took down a mental note to yourself to thank Mr Jeon Jungkook for this heavenly food because yes, this is a zillion times better than the convenience store and has surely made your child active too, cause you can feel yourself being super hype right now. The baby has a month left until it starts

its own karate show with all that kicking and movements that you'll be able to feel. Right now, it's not very evident although you feel something. When you got back to the show, you received a text message from the one and only Jungkook.

[ From Jungkook ] Are you awake? Did you have the soup?

[ y/n ] Good afternoon, Mr Jeon, I did have it just now, so there's no need for lunch, please.

[ From Jungkook ] You shouldn't have breakfast this late. You missed your pills, too, i'm sure.

welps, you did forget to have it.

[ y/n ] Ooops-

[ From Jungkook ] i'll just get an early dinner for you then, What would you like to have? Anythng in particular?

you're completely full, and the food is at the brim of your body, so no, you can't even think about food.

[ y/n ] anything you like is fine, thanks.

-

it's almost 6 pm, and Jungkook can't stop looking at the clock while he's at the meeting. the meeting held today is very important, in fact, it's gonna be brilliant for the reputation and sales of Jeon Industries but somehow the CEO himself has not quite paid attention to whatever that the investors and staff had been discussing, instead, he's busy counting the seconds to 6;10pm so when the clock strikes it, he can leave.

"What's your opinion on this, Mr. Jeon?" Jungkook abruptly turns and sighs, watching his fingers twitch it at the sudden question. "uh- I think it's perfect. we should get started on this." "Started on what?" Jungkook licked his lips, reconsidering what the damn question was again. 'Wasn't my opinion asked on starting this project?'

"uh- the project?" "Mr. Jeon, we were discussing the timing for our next meeting held this Friday. The project should be finalized there." fuck- "Ohh, right, absolutely, Mr. Won! The timing is perfect. What was it again?" "8pm?"Yes, 8 is great. all sorted? thanks for your time, Mr Won. I shall see you on Friday."

Jungkook rose from his seat and walked out of the room, leaving everyone in confusion. "shit- I need to leave." he told himself. "Mr. Jung, I've got somewhere to be. Check my files and email me the rest of it that has to be signed for tomorrow." "Sure, Mr Jeon.''

He grabbed his office bag and took the elevator to get to the ground floor. He knows exactly what he's gonna get for dinner, and you're gonna love it. He can't wait for it. "Hello? is my order ready?" "Yes, Mr Jeon." "I'm on my way." he drove to the restaurant, picked up his packaged food, paid for it, and was set to drive to yours.

it's been in Jungkook's mind throughout last night, so he's very much excited about this. He'd hoped you didn't have a specific food in mind so he could get this, and it worked. You actually didn't want to have anything in specific that was in his favour. There now he stands in front of the door, ringing the doorbell, waiting for you to answer the door.

"Who is it?" You ask and try to check from the little peephole, but it is black. so you opened the door and poked your head outside and then sighed in relief. "Why did you cover the hole?" "Can't i?" "You don't do that." You let him walk inside, and he did, placing the plastic bags of food on the coffee table in front of the blush pink couch that you own. "Well, what are all these?"

"Dinner." Your eyes sparkled as you looked at his back while he removed his loafers and placed them at the corner of the door and then turned to face you. "Wait, I texted you what i was craving, and i don't think my message was read." Jungkook's expression dropped.

He definitely didn't get what you wanted because he did not check his phone for the last hour, and he knows you're gonna be disappointed by his choice of food. his eyes look around in sadness, like a little puppy.

you sit on the couch and open up the food that he got because damn you're hungry like a pack of wolves. Pregnancy appetite is no joke! Jungkook grew closer to you as he bit on his lips and blinked fast. He felt disheartened. one, because he didn't get what you wanted so you won't be satisfied and two, he got what he liked so again you're not gonna like it, probably?

you've been craving for this one thing after you watched the damn tv series and you craved it so much that you tried to check for it on the food delivery app and they did have it but it was fucking expensive so you felt guilty and then you thought you could try making

it then you realized you didn't have all the ingredients to make it, and not gonna lie you even shed a few tears because you searched for easier 5 min recipes that were similar to that but there wasn't any but then your fyp was filled with food similar to that so you felt so sad that you cried for about 5 minutes and then out of no choice you texted him. pregnancy is bullshit, you thought to yourself while crying over a stupid plate of food. you opened the plastic box and- "oh my god??!!!! you got itttt?????"

you screamed and immediately got on your feet to hug him. It was Pesto alla Genovese that you were craving for. The one that Jungkook prepared for you when you first moved with him to his place. your hands were tied around his neck as you hugged him, Jungkook leans down to your height for the way you are holding his neck and pulling him down. he can feel something poking his stomach,

so he looks down only to notice your belly touching his stomach, the closeness between the two of you had his breathing getting higher and faster by each millisecond and you are unconsciously hugging him while yapping about how much you were craving for this the whole evening. he's unsure if he should hug you back or keep his hands to himself but he's stiff and by the time he does anything, it's too late. "you have no idea-"

you get a lack of response from him, so when you stop talking you realise that it's so quiet in the room and that you're really really close to him. you soon pulled out your arms from him, still standing in front of him, right there. you didn't want this to be awkward even though the man standing forward you are extremely stiff. "uh-" you blink multiple times, regretting your life decisions because what did you just do right now?

'shit- what should I say- say something Jungkook, don't just stand like that. she's never gonna hug you again if you continue to make this whole situation uncomfortable.'

"Wait, so this is what you craved for?!" he soon asked you with his eyes larger than it was, showing you that he was genuinely so happy that he got what you wanted. you nodded your head, leaving a distance between the two of you. "Yes, you did see my texts!!" "No, I did not, I promise." You looked at him, with squinting eyes. He put his hands up, showing you that he did not lie. "Oh man, this is girl's dinner!" Jungkook huffed. "Girls' dinner?"

"The ones who watch Tiktok would know, unlike you." "You think I don't have TikTok? I do." "Never seen you use it." "Well, you haven't seen anything about me, yet." "don't want to, anyway." "eat your food." He quits the little bickering between the two of you, while you open up the other packaging.

there's not just one pasta, there's pumpkin ravioli, and spinach gnocchi with extra cheese too??! you took deep breaths of all the food and tried hard not to pass out cause it all smelled so divine, it's making your pregnancy hormones go a merry-go-round.

"What is this? you gonna kill me with all this pasta. but I'm starving, even though I had your soup, had some bread with strawberry jam, then had some Cheetos with some spread an-" "Eat up already!" "i can't find a for-" "let me get one for you." he walked to the counter and pulled out the drawers finding the cutlery.

"it's the second drawer." he opened it and found a couple inside, grabbing one fork for you he washed it with some dishwasher and then handed it over to you. "it's warm, have it now."

you poked it into the spaghetti that was coated in the pesto sauce and slurped it up. "mm mmm mmm." you hummed and continued to push more and more pasta into your mouth, your mouth being full, you still managed to poke the gnocchi and swallowed the pasta so fast, Jungkook was damn worried that you would accidentally choke. "careful tiger, the food won't run away." he smiled with his eyes.

his eyes smiled before his lips did, watching you eat so happily, humming with each bite, giggling at the mess you've made on the table and your face. the sauce covering your chin and nose. Jungkook loves his sight, it's too beautiful to look away. watching you eat, is on his favourite list.

might be in his top 5. "this may be 5 stars but yours is 10. I said what I said!" you threw your hands up, looking at him with that smile, but all that green and white sauce around your mouth had only made you look much much more adorable. "Is it?" "Of course it is! A big ass ten!" he puts his hands inside his pockets and leans against the wall, to watch you longer.

His eyes show warmth and softness towards you, he's looking at you so gently like he found a part of himself in you. He feels satisfied, he feels full just by watching you eat like a little lion cub.

"don't just stand there like a creep, join me." "it's all for you-" "Come now." you pat the seat beside you and he walks over to you, sitting next to you. "eat with me." he nods and then continues to take off the coat of his suit, leaving him with his white shirt. "I'll grab a fork for myself." He gets one for himself,

and you pass the pasta to him. He still can't stop looking at you, you're such a messy eater, he's holding back his laugh. you look over at him and raise your eyebrow. "what?" "it's nothing-"

"What?" he takes a tissue out of the plastic bag and grows closer to you, pasting the tissue to your face. "clean your face." you rolled your eyes at him and wiped off all the cream that was around your mouth. "Here, try the ravioli." "not a fan of pumpkin, you have it-" "What? No, you have to try it!"

you pricked a few from your fork and brought it closer to his mouth. "I'm good y/n-" "Try it-" "No I'm-" The pasta slipped off the fork and fell on his white shirt. you gasped and soon picked it up, but the shirt was already stained.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry-" "Hey-" you grabbed the tissue, pulling him closer to wipe it off. 'the shirt is probably from an extremely expensive brand, and you just ruined it y/n.' you think to yourself and continue to get the yellowness off his cloth. Jungkook looks at you, he sees the worry in your eyes but he doesn't mind it. he's got a lot of shirts, this isn't his only white. "I'm so sorry-'' "Hey, it's alright y/n. let me do it-" "No, I made this mess, I'm gonna clean it." you got a glass of water and a wet towel, to get it off faster.

The water had wet his chest and allowed it to be seen through now, his skin showing off the wet material. the colour just doesn't seem to go away! "remove your shirt-" "What??!!" "Remove it, it needs soap, its colour is just getting worse." "but-" "Fast! now!" he stood up and unbuttoned it, removing the shirt off,

he handed it over to you. you soon ran to the washroom to get it clean. while Jungkook stands in the living room, feeling cold as goosebumps rise, due to the cold temperature of the air conditioner.

Since it's weird to just stand here, he walks to your bedroom, the only bedroom here anyway. you've created a little place for yourself, the number of plushies sitting on the bed with fairy lights surrounding the wall with fake leaves. Your bedside table had books and your pills on it and the little mirror was decorated with stickers and lipstick kisses which were probably yours.

He poked his head inside the washroom, and he saw you scrubbing the area that was stained. "it's gone, I'm just gonna let this dry now." He nods and waits till you walk out of the washroom, he feels uncomfortable to be shirtless here.

He stands by the window that faces the quiet streets and watches outside. you close the washroom door and notice him here, his back is bare, and so are his tattoos. you remember them vividly, how you traced them while looking into his eyes. god, those tattoos were a masterpiece decorating his arm. you didn't even realise him turning around to face you because all you were observing were his inked arm that looked more visible when it was facing you.

"Like what you see?"

next chapter ⇢

[citruscitrushope]

Why Ken Shiraishi is Still Written OK (aka why Vivid BAD SQUAD will never surpass RAD WEEKEND, and why that's a good thing)

An essay I wrote in someone's Twitter DMs as we discussed their belief that Ken's writing has been becoming out of character ever since On Your Feet, and my attempt to present a counter-argument that turned into an analysis of VBS stories up to this point.

1,089 words, warnings for swearing, spoilers, and the fact that this is barely formatted like an essay at all but was just a ramble I thought I gave some good points in and wanted to share.

So bro is openly going against the things that made rw what it was ("ok Toya make all the songs" <- that is not what happened with radder)" and I doubt bro would be full on ignoring it (nor clpl full on ignoring it seeing as they have all of the group's full stories planned from the beginning) and I personally theorize that it's to emphasize the four's strengths as well as to make them come face to face with their weaknesses to grow stronger (I think concerto is the most obvious case of this). Nagi's goal with rw wasn't to make something to be surpassed, it was to pass radder's dream to the next generation to reach the heights they couldn't (i.e. worldwide popularity) and I very much feel like the vbs story has enough backing them going in that direction (Toya's wl chapter, what I've seen of radder flashbacks, even Ken's whole reason for opening weekend garage).

For context, the preceding conversation was about how Ken has been going against a lot of his initial things (Running weekend garage to help the next generation, helping them not work as hard, etc), how he knew Taiga was gonna tell vbs the truth of RAD WEEKEND and that he should first but he didn't, and then how he's been overworking the kids and going against the team effort rw was by radder

Again, clpl kinda suck at writing vbs sometimes but dammit they ain't bad at foreshadowing, they teased Nagi stuff for a year or two before lutf and stuff after all. Plus they've never had a sudden decline with a character, it took two years for Mafuyu's mom to fully be revealed as bad, and even with Taiga that was a solid year. (Now what they do do a lot of are sudden "redemption arcs", sure the Otori brothers' was decent but all the times they've tired to have Shinodad or Toya's dad grow as people has been so bad like bro some people are just shit).

Plus vbs' story has been slower than most of the other units until this current arc (hell they took the longest to end their first arc), slow building blocks to surpassing RAD WEEKEND. So for this current arc to have them saying "our next event will surpass them" so suddenly just doesn't add up. It has to be a red herring. And again, Taiga's been this game's only true betrayal arc, others have been characters going from neutral to bad (Mafumom, one-off characters) or ones meant to be bad that eventually become allies to their respective groups (Arata, Iori, Otori brothers). Taiga going from an explicit ally to an enemy is an outlier, and I've noticed that they usually won't repeat plots and stuff in this game (well outside of Smile of a Dreamer and Our Happy Ending but I think that was on purpose).

I highly doubt that vbs' ending will involve them surpassing RAD WEEKEND, they're probably the only group who's initial goal hadn't changed over time (L/n "I wanna be with my friends again" -> "We wanna be pros that touch others with music". WxS "Let's save this stage" -> "let's travel the world to make our dreams come true" n25 "i need to save mafuyu" -> "she's seemingly saved but shits still tucked"). Even MMJ's which has seemed to always be "Let's be idols and give hope to others" has had steps to go through, it wasn't instantly "Let's perform in the dome" it was "Let's be idols" -> "let's do a live show" -> "let's do a solo show" -> "let's perform in the dome". VBS hasn't been like that, it's always been "let's surpass RAD WEEKEND" and never been anything but that, so their progression has just been them saying "this'll get us closer to surpassing RAD WEEKEND" with little to actually show for it.

It's a lofty, impossible task, and I think Ken and Taiga know that, but they view it in different ways. Taiga sees it as "you'll never live up to it give up stop trying" while Ken's is "you'll never live up to it but that doesn't change that you're still talented performers". Even though how characters always compare each other to radder (An and Taiga seeing Nagi in Kohane, Taiga seeing Ken in Akito) , they're not radder, they'll never be them, and I feel like that's what the story wants to have them and the audience eventually realize. That's what Nagi wanted, right? To have the next generation do what she and the rest of radder couldn't, to keep singing and to be known around the world. They've already contrasted how both Taiga and Ken have attempted to keep Nagi's wishes alive before (i.e. the whole "Don't tell An until she's ready" thing), and Ken handled this better than Taiga but both weren't the best at it, and vbs had to find the strength themselves to keep going. Taiga did it in a brutal and dream-crushing way, while Ken's was gentler and more honest but came too late, and I feel that they wouldn't get rid of that contrast with Nagi's other dream. Taiga ran off and became famous overseas, but never fully processed his grief. Ken is encouraging the next generation, but still isn't doing it perfectly.

So I feel that Ken's plan is to show vbs *their* strengths. The ones only they have. Not in the context of reaching radder's level, but in reaching their own, and truly fulfilling Nagi's wish. He's not doing it perfectly, he's overworking them severely, but I highly doubt that this is purposeful. Again, I just don't think they'd make the dilf have a villain arc.

But nothing anyone has done in response to vbs's dream has been perfect. Even from the main story with akitoya and Kotarou sabotaging Kohane, to Arata in sbd, to Taiga to Arata in bfby, and then lutf is obvious. It's a messy tale of unprocessed grief and unfiltered dreams, things that can lead to both triumph and tragedy. But I truly can't see any malice in Ken's actions, or even Taiga's to an extent. While there obviously was some there, to him I assume it was to protect the legacy of his sister and to not tarnish her swansong.

I don't fully know where I was going with this but all in all I think Ken has good intentions albeit with unintentional extreme expectations, VBS was never meant to surpass RAD WEEKEND, and the vbs story's messy pacing lately is purposeful

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 49:

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"Can’t they stop staring at us?" I whispered, Charles pulling me closer to his side.

"They’re staring at you, cara mia. And what did you expect? People watched the documentary and bam! You dropped casually that you’ll retire at the end of the season. No explanation. No statement from you. No nothing." he sighed.

"There will be no explanation, only reputation." I joked and Charles chuckled "And what was there left to explain? When they watched the episodes they know why I had to retire. And why would I write a statement if it’s already out there?"

"True." he chuckled "I’m just so happy that everyone knows now what was going on, what you had to go through. What they all did with their constant bashing…"

"It’s out now. No turning back." I said as we stopped in front of the Audi hospitality.

"It definitely is out there… but I thought they wanted to announce Mick as their driver right on Monday?"

"They wanted to, but there was a little problem with the contract from Alpine. It’s sorted now, he signed his contract and they’ll announce it anytime now." I smiled

and took the 3 steps on terrace "See you later?"

"Yup." he pulled me down a little and kissed my cheek "See you later my pretty girl."

I pulled away and waved him off, walking inside.

"Lizzie, hey!" Matt smiled at me and I walked over to him "How are you? Now that it’s all out?"

"Relieved? But also annoyed because people look at me now like I’m a little helpless and injured deer…" I sighed and he chuckled.

"You’re anything but a helpless and injured deer, that’s for sure!" he rolled his eyes a little.

"Tell that the rest of the paddock." I shrugged my shoulders "Have you seen Julie?"

"She was with Felix, last time I checked…" he replied and I nodded.

"Alright, see you later!" I waved him off, looking for Julie, right as she stepped inside the lounge.

"There you are. We’ve got a little bit to do before I drop you off at the press conference!" she said and I nodded.

"When will you announce Mick?" I asked.

"We thought about doing it after the season? We want to keep the focus on you and your last two races with us."

"Oh that’s alright, you can announce him now, I’m fine with that, draws the attention away from me again." I laughed and she nodded.

"I’ll talk with Felix, then."

"Thanks Julie."

"Hey you." Max bumped slightly into me.

"Hey Max." I replied as he hugged me.

"How are you?" he looked at me and I sighed "I had no idea how bad your accident was... fucking hell Lizzie..."

"I didn't want anyone else to know... I didn't want to speak about it all the damn time."

"Yeah, I understand that... but now?" he nodded towards the conference room.

"I'm retiring, so only a couple of interviews left and then there won't be more questions anymore." I shrugged my shoulders and he nodded, right when Lewis patted my back "Hey Lewis."

"You're amazing, I hope you know that." he hugged me and I smiled "What you've been through and still delivered weekend after weekend? That's inspiring, Lizzie, really."

"Thanks Lewis." I said when the doors opened "Now come on guys, let's go."

We walked inside and I sat down between Max and Lewis, talking away until the press conference started. When Sainz and Oscar arrived, Tom Clarkson took his microphone and began.

"Welcome back to the penultimate race of the 2024 Formula 1 season here in Qatar. With me today Sir Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes, Max Verstappen, Red Bull, Carlos Sainz, Ferrari, Oscar Piastri, McLaren and last but not least Lizzie Doetterer, Audi. Now, starting with you Lizzie. Last Sunday, for everyone who watched the Netflix Originals: Drive to Survive - The Story or Lizzie Doetterer, was in for a rollercoaster ride, with an unexpected ending. You'll retire at the end of the season. How are you feeling, one week after revealing it to the world?"

I picked up the microphone and tilted my head a little, thinking about the right words.

"The final decision to retire was made after Monza, so I had a few weeks already to wrap my head around it, you know?

But... I honestly don't know how I'm feeling? Sad? Mad? Proud? Relieved? There are a lot of emotions on my mind right now. But above all I think I'm grateful. For the chance that my team gave me, for the love and support of my family and friends, but of course also my fans! The other drivers who made me feel welcome on the grid and made it easy to fit right in. All the memories I could create over the past 3 years."

"The decision was made after Monza, is it then safe for you to keep driving until the end of the season?"

"Not really, no..." I chuckled a little "If it was for my doctors, I would've never gone back to racing in the first place. But here I am... it was a calculated risk, one I was willing to take. I was monitored strictly the last few weeks and as soon as the issues with my back would've get any worse, I would have quit immediately. But fortunately I was lucky to keep going and I'm confident that I can finish the season like I planned to, racing this weekend and the next as well."

"Which brings us back to the race on Sunday. Qatar, always a tough race for the driver, not just the car, what can Audi do this weekend?"

"I think the track suits are car not in every aspect, as it's a highspeed track with lots of downforce, which wasn't our strongest suit this season, but I'm confident."

"Alright. Thanks Lizzie, let’s continue with Max…" Clarkson began and I put my microphone down, listening how Max, then Lewis and lastly Oscar were asked about me, both praising me, I didn’t listen to what Sainz had to say, I honestly didn’t care and when the questions from the journalists in front of us came, I wasn’t surprised that most of them were about me retiring and leaving an open seat at Audi.

"Ferran Alvarez, Marca. Question for Carlos. With Lizzie retiring now, her seat will be free next season. Are there talks again between you and Audi, as it’s one of the best available seats for next season?" a dark haired man asked Sainz and I had to suppress a laughter.

"Of course the seat at Audi is an option, as it is, like you said, probably the best seat of the remaining options. My team is working at the presented options and I’m sure before the last race I’ll have some good news for you." Sainz replied and I had to fight, to not burst out laughing.

"So there are talks then?" the reporter pressed and Sainz grinned.

The grin made my insides boil and I had to do what I did next, wiping away exactly that grin.

"I can already give you some breaking news today, we don’t have to wait until next week…" I said and all eyes were on me in a heartbeat "I’m very, very, very happy to announce that non other than Mick Schumacher will be driving for Audi next season, taking over my seat, completing the all-German line-up for Audi."

Silence. Total and absolute silence. And with one look at Sainz I knew I achieved my goal. Grin gone, scowl present. How I would miss moments like these. His DNF in Sunday’s race was just the icing on the cake.

Charles POV:

"I could watch it over and over, I swear… that was the highlight of my weekend!" I laughed, watching the press conference again, replaying the part where Lizzie shattered all of Carlos’ hopes to get her seat "Poor Mick… he was just walking down the paddock and everyone pounced at him out of the blue."

"Yeah, for that I’m sorry… but the rest? Worth it." Lizzie chuckled.

"How do you feel?" I pulled her closer and she raised her eyebrows "It’s your last race weekend…"

"Yeah, I know… honestly? I’m feeling good? Excited even." she shrugged and I cupped her cheek "I’m thinking more about you! Your first championship! How freaking awesome!"

"I didn’t win it yet! First I have to win the race!" I sighed and she rolled her eyes.

"Can you just, for once, believe in my words? I say you win, then you win. Period." Lizzie pouted a little and I pecked her lips.

"Okay, okay… I believe in your words!" I chuckled and she smiled.

"Good!" she pulled away and got off the bed, walking to her suitcase, while I read the mail I got, smiling to myself.

"Oh shit, not again…" Lizzie mumbled and I looked up from my iPad.

"What happened?"

"I forgot something…" she sighed and popped a little pill in her mouth, washing it down with some water "…again."

"And what did you forget?" I put my iPad down and she threw a little package with pills at me "Is that…"

"Birth control… yep…" she said and I looked at the blister, that was labelled with the weekdays "I took it so irregular the last weeks. I have to set a daily reminder or something."

"Why don’t you just take the ones you forgot now?" I asked and she laughed.

"Because that’s not how it works?"

"So what happens when you forget it?" I handed her the blister.

"Well…" she sighed, pointing at her belly "Poof."

"Oh! Like… so it’s not really a good contraception?"

"It is, if you don’t forget to take it like me." Lizzie shrugged her shoulders and I nodded "Don’t worry, it’s not like you forget it once and you end up pregnant already!"

"There were a lot of full ones in between the few popped ones?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well then, wrap it before you tap it." she laughed and I groaned.

"Don’t say it like that…"

"Why?" she returned from the bathroom and I just shook my head.

"Just-… don’t say it like that… ever again…"

"Okay… are you ready now? Let’s get this day over with." she slipped on her shoes and I got off from the bed.

"Last media day." I said and she nodded.

"Yup… let’s go." she was out the door before I even grabbed my sunglasses.

"Wait for me cara mia!" I rolled my eyes and followed her outside, getting into the elevator downstairs where our car was already waiting for us. I took the keys from the attendant and opened Lizzie’s door for her, quickly getting inside myself.

"I hate that the FIA put me into a group with you… I don’t want them to talk about me today! They should talk about you! And how you’ll be a world champion after the weekend!" she said after a while and I squeezed her thigh.

"I don’t mind talking about you today. I love talking about you, one of my favourite things…" I chuckled and I saw her lips twitch a little, fighting with a smile "It will be fine, I’m sure they’re not just asking about you!"

I was only partly right, there was a lot of talks about Lizzie and her last race, how she felt, how I felt but as soon as we all said our piece the questions changed and Max and I were asked about the upcoming race, how we approached it.

"I mean, I’ll approach it like every other race? I never was this close to winning the title, so I don’t know if I should approach it differently?" I answered looking at Max who just laughed.

"Never approached it differently. At the end of the day it’s just a race like any other, just with a slightly different outcome." he said and I nodded.

"Meg Saunders, BBC Sports. This is going to be a tough and tight battle on Sunday, Charles going in with 444 points and Max going in with 437. Max even if you win, Charles can’t be in P2 with the fastest lap, because then he’s one point ahead. So you have to win with the fastest lap to not care where Charles will end up at the race, how much pressure is that?" the red haired woman in the second row asked Max and he looked at me.

"Charles put me under pressure the whole season already, so nothing new. We both will do our best and then we’ll see what happens."

"Charles, anything to add? You can win the race and don’t have to think about what others do?"

"No, it’s like Max said, we will do our best and then we’ll see what happens." I said and with that Tom Clarkson finished the press conference.

"Lizzie, it was a pleasure working with you, all the best for the future and maybe I’ll see you on Sunday again?" he said and Lizzie smiled.

"Would be amazing."

Starting the race from pole was a good position to get some distance between me and Max, and with Lizzie as a buffer behind me, I knew that I could do it. I could win the championship, do what Lizzie said from the beginning of the season. I was never this nervous during a formation lap, but I focused. I couldn’t mess this up. The start had to be perfect and as soon as the lights were out I was in my well known tunnel, only me and the track.

"Manage your rear tires a bit better." Bryan radioed and I adjusted my driving immediately.

The next 3 laps I was flying, setting fastest lap after fastest lap. But then I saw the yellow flags and slowed down. Shortly after the red flag was waved and I waited for Bryan’s input.

"Red flag. Return to the pits."

"What happened?"

"Perez and Alonso, both out."

"Are they okay?"

"Yes. Both are okay."

"Alright." I sighed and drove into the pits, waiting for further instructions.

"Race will resume in 15 minutes, you can get out of the car."

I unbuckled my seatbelt, took my steering wheel off and climbed out of the car, walking towards the Ferrari garage when I spotted Lizzie, having trouble getting out of her car. I immediately walked over to her but was relieved when I saw that she just had trouble with her belt.

"Hey you." I said, opening the visor and she climbed out of her car "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, my leg got tangled in the seatbelt, happened never before, no idea how that happened." she chuckled and I helped her down "Mr. race leader." she said and I rolled my eyes a little.

"There’s still 20 laps left, don’t get ahead of yourself."

"20 laps left, you have the fastest lap and Max looks like he’s struggling." she replied and I nodded slightly.

"It’s looking good. But first when I take the checkered flag I’m celebrating, okay?" I squeezed her shoulder gently and she nodded.

"Alright. Now you have to excuse me but I need to pee. See you after the race!" she patted my helmet and I smiled, watching her walk away.

I had to win. If not for me, then for Lizzie and her unwavering faith in me. I had to win this title for her.

"My tyres are gone." I radioed.

"3 more laps Lizzie. You can do this."

"These two are crazy! One of them will end up in a wall!"

"Max knows that Charles has the fastest lap at the moment."

"Oh…"

"Charles is faster overall."

"Okay."

No wonder they both pushed their cars to the absolut limit and above. After the messy re-start and Max overtaking Charles because his tires weren’t ready yet they kept on fighting like crazy. The next corner they both left the track, pushing each other harder than ever before. Would Max win, but Charles kept the fastest lap, Charles would be world champion. The next corners it looked like a battle. They were going wheel to wheel, sparks flying everywhere and right when they pushed each other wide again, 2 more laps to go, I saw an opportunity to squeeze past them and I send it.

"Amazing Lizzie! Push, push, push! Give it your all!" Pete radioed, his voice almost hysterical "Last lap Lizzie! Last lap! Bring it home, little one!"

"Trying my best! Charles in P2?"

"Yes. He still has the fastest lap as well."

"Fucking amazing."

He did it. He won. He was a Formula 1 world champion. When I saw the checkered flag being waved, the emotions overcame me. It was my last checkered flag. My last race. My last win. But for Charles it meant so much more. All the years of doubts, blaming himself for every mistake his team did, all the people dragging him down, that all meant nothing anymore. He won. I never doubted it one second, but it still felt amazing.

"You did it Lizzie! That’s P1! What a race little one! We are all so proud of you! Thank you for the last 3 years Lizzie. Working alongside you was the best." Pete radioed and I could’ve sworn that I heard him sniffle.

"Thanks Pete. For everything! You were the best race engineer I could’ve asked for! You all are the best team I could’ve wished for! I love you guys so much and I wish you nothing but the best for the seasons to come! I know that with Mick and Nico you’ll have two amazing drivers to continue what we’ve build! Thank you all so freaking much!" I felt tears welling up and tried to steady my breathing.

"Little one, thank you for everything you’ve done for our team! You and Valtteri were the best drivers to begin this project with. Today you proofed again why this seat was always rightfully yours. I’m so proud of you! And of Charles, he deserves this title more than anyone else! He had an amazing season and you were right from the beginning." Felix radioed next and I chuckled.

"Tell Matt to get prepared for his little night swim in the harbour."

"Don’t worry, we’ll all make sure he keeps his word."

I parked my car in the middle spot and jumped out of it, running to my team and hugged them all, cheered with them, knowing that this was my last time. Felix patted my helmet and nodded to left and I turned, seeing Charles parking his car. I almost immediately bolted and stood next to his car, pulling him out and in my arms.

"You did it." we both screamed at the same time and I had to chuckle.

"You won, cara mia! Your last race!" Charles voice muffled.

"You’re a world champion, Charles! WORLD CHAMPION! I knew it!" I screamed and he held me even closer "Go! Celebrate with your team! Come on now!" I pushed him towards his team and they all began to cheer and shout.

"Hey race winner." I heard Max voice behind me when I pulled off my helmet and turned around "Congrats Lizzie, amazing race. Amazing season… what am I saying! Amazing career."

"Oh Maxie, stop!" I chuckled and hugged him "Sorry that you lost today."

"I lost against the best driver on the grid, after me of course…" he winked and I laughed "He deserves it. He was the only one who could really fight with me these past years and I always said with a better car he would’ve won more titles already…"

"Maybe you can persuade him into coming to Red Bull?" I wiggled my eyebrows but he chuckled.

"Look at him, you think he would leave this team ever especially after tonight?" Max replied, nodding towards the red sea of people all chanting and celebrating Charles.

"No, probably not, you’re right. He loves Ferrari too much…" I said.

"He is Ferrari." Max said and I looked at him.

"You’re right. He is Ferrari."

I kept on staring at Charles and his team, celebrating like there was no tomorrow and a part of me was the happiest I could ever be, knowing that no other driver on the grid deserved this title more than him. But another part of me, a teeny tiny one was hurt, knowing that I would never have the chance to celebrate a championship. The moment Charles turned around though, looking at me, almost sprinting towards me that part was forgotten.

"I love you cara mia, without you I would’ve never won this title…" he whispered and cupped my cheeks, kissing me right as the fireworks above our heads erupted.

I stood there in awe, watched the subsiding fireworks above us, lifted my last trophy ever into the night sky of Abu Dhabi. Then I turned right and looked into Charles eyes, the biggest smile on his face, dimples on full display. I could see him swell with pride, but above all with love. He just won his first world championship but he only had words of praise for me during his interview. He received his trophy but pointed at me as he lifted it into the night sky. 3 seasons of Formula 1. One season in the WSeries. Two seasons in F2. One season in F3 and countless seasons in karting. It all ended tonight. It was the end of my career, but the beginning of a whole new life, I just knew it. For one moment the world was silent, but then the buzzing atmosphere returned and in the corner of my eyes to my left I saw Max grabbing his bottle of Champagne, Charles on my right doing the same right as "Les Toreadors" blasted through the speakers and the next moment I was soaked with champagne, grabbing my own bottle spraying first Charles, then Max and lastly Felix, who stood with us on the podium on this special night. Basking in the glorious feeling, we clinked our bottles and had a sip of champagne, then gathered one last time together on the podium, Felix joined my right side, Charles to my left, next to him Max. One last smile for the cameras and then it was over. Trophies and champagne bottles in our hands we walked down the stairs and I was quiet, not saying a word while Charles, Felix and Max were talking.

"Cara mia?” I heard Charles voice and looked at him "I gotta go to the garage, drop off my stuff, see you in the media pen?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure…" I replied quickly and he pecked my lips, then rushed off.

"See you later." Max smiled and I waved him off as he walked away.

Felix pulled me into his side and took a deep breath.

"We’re going to miss you, Lizzie. You build this team up with us…" he said and I smiled at him "The success that we had the past 3 years, no one thought we’d be this good as a mostly new team! It was all thanks to you and Valtteri."

"Mostly Lizzie though, she’s the only Audi race winner…" Valtteri said as we walked inside our garage and he hugged me "I‘m going to miss you on the grid, kiddo."

"I’m going to miss you too, my Finisher” I replied and we laughed.

The next minutes happend in a blur, hand shaking here, hugs there, shared smiles and laughs, congratulations thrown my way. Then Julie tipped on my shoulder, a huge grin on her face.

"Come on. Media pen. Now.” she smiled and I followed her through the paddock "So, that’s it? Last time I drag your ass into the media pen and take care of your loose tongue?"

"Yup, looks like it, be honest, you’re happy! No more worries what I might screw up this time!" I laughed but Julie shook her head.

"Yeah, you’ve been a real pain in the ass at times, but you were always brutally honest, a quality many people lack these days. I’m really going to miss you!" she said and I stopped and hugged her tight.

"I’ll miss you too! All of you, you were the best team I could’ve ask for!” I whispered and she gently patted my back, as she felt me trembling a little.

"It’s okay, take your time…" she whispered and I sniffled a little and then pulled away, smiling "Enough emotions for now? Yeah, alright. Ready for Sky Germany, UK, Italy?”

"Last media pen of my career!" I laughed and we stepped inside.

It was different than usually, the interviews took way longer, everyone congratulated me on my career and wished me all the best for the future. Some selfies were taken and by the time Julie gently grabbed my wrist, pushing me towards the door, I realised that I was the last one in the media pen and probably too late for my last post race press conference ever.

I stepped inside, Charles and Max already waiting and looking at me as I sat down in the middle, taking a big gulp of sparkling water from the bottle Charles handed me and then picked up the microphone, looking at Tom Clarkson.

"Let’s do this, shall we?" I asked and laughter erupted.

"You do realise we were waiting for you?" Charles chuckled.

"Sorry guys, the media pen took a little longer than usually…"

"It’s okay, ladies and gentlemen welcome to the final post race press conference of the 2024 season here in Abu Dhabi, here with me race winner Lizzie Doetterer from Audi in her last race, in P2 our new world champion Charles Leclerc, and last but not least in third place Max Verstappen, Red Bull. We’ll start with you, now Lizzie take us with you through your last Formula 1 race?" Tom Clarkson smiled at me and I thought for a moment.

"It was a little odd, to be honest, knowing it would be my last race. But as soon as the lights went off I wasn’t thinking about it. Of course there were moments when it flashed through my mind, but I was trying to not let it bother me too much, I had a race to win…" I said and everyone laughed.

"It was in the penultimate lap that you overtook these two, winning your fifth and final race. What went through your mind?"

"Too much. I was just so grateful for everything I achieved with my team over the past 3 seasons. I was beyond happy that I won another race but above all I was just so happy that Charles won the championship…" I turned to look at him and he smiled, squeezing my thigh gently.

"Alright, thank you LizzieZNext up Charles, P2 today but overall you just won your first championship! Congrats! Talk us through your race…" Clarkson looked at Charles and I did the same.

How he happily answered all questions asked, seeing his dimples getting deeper and deeper with each passing question, I wasn’t even listening anymore, only staring at him, my world champion.

"Of course I wouldn’t be able to win this title without Lizzie we worked towards this goal together since we were 8? 9? It was her who pushed me to my limits and never doubted me for a second… when everyone criticised me she stood in front of me and was just there by my side, always knowing what to say and what to do… so yeah, this title is for the team, everyone in the factory, the Tifosi around the world, my family, Jules, Papa, but mostly it is for Lizzie, because she’s the reason I won it…" Charles said and I blinked a tear away, grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

After Max’ congratulations for Charles and me, Clarkson opened up the floor for some more questions from the journalist. All of them joining in into the congratulations for Charles and me, some questions about the season overall and how Max will strike back next season when the final question was asked.

"Susan Boulder, New York Times. Charles, Lizzie, what’s next for you now? Will we see you accompany Charles to his races now? Will you start your own little something?" the lady with grey hair in the first row asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"What’s next is a long vacation. We need it after this season. And then… well I guess we’ll see." I replied and Charles next to me nodded.

"I have nothing to add."

"Alright, then that’s it for this season! See you all in Melbourne next year!" Clarkson finished off the press conference and we stood up. After a quick goodbye to Tom we left the stage, Charles reaching for my hand and together with Max we walked outside.

"That‘s it, I’m done, I‘m retired now!" I exhaled loudly and Max laughed.

"You will be every weekend on the track and cheer on the boys!" he said and Charles nodded in agreement.

"I mean, you’re right, I still have to support my team!“ I shrugged and Charles pinched my side.

"Cara mia, you have to cheer for me! I’m your boyfriend! I’m driving for Ferrari, your favourite team! Come on!" he said but I shook my head.

"But Charlie, Audi is still my team! And Ferrari has to do a lot more to be my favourite team again!" I joked.

"Whatever” Charles fake pouted and Max and I laughed as we stopped in front of the Red Bull garage.

"So I’m seeing you guys later at the harbour? Don’t know on wich yacht it is, but I guess we’ll see?" Max asked and I nodded, walking away with Charles.

"Alright, you go now to your team, celebrate a bit and I’ll pick you up in 30 minutes? Then we’ll leave, back to the hotel, shower and change and off we go to the party!" Charles rattled down our schedule and I nodded "I love you, cara mia!" he whispered against my lips and I stared into his eyes.

"I love you too, Charlie be-… oh…" I stopped abruptly and he looked at me "I promised you I would stop calling you that as soon as you won your first title…"

"You can always call me that… but maybe not in public…" he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine "And now go, your team is waiting." he kissed my cheek and pushed me gently towards our garage, walking away. I stepped inside and hugged everyone at least twice before I walked back into my drivers room. I knew that there would be a huge farewell party at home in the factory in a couple of days, when Mick will take over. So I wasn’t feeling bad about leaving the hectic garage to have some quiet minutes alone, to walk one last time through our team hospitality, thinking about everything I’ve experienced in here, all the memories I’ve made. It was bittersweet, but I felt no despair, only gratitude and pride. I took one last look of the empty hospitality, knowing that it will be busy and packed any minute, then I turned around, walking upstairs and opened the door to my room quietly.

The room was dark, only illuminated by the flickering light of a snow globe, my snow globe, that I gave Charles when we were kids and he got disqualified from a race at the end of 2009, the last race of the year. He never told me why he hit David, or Salva, he was just so devastated because his Dad said he was disappointed in his behaviour, that he shouldn’t hit someone for no reason, that he didn’t want to talk to anyone. Anyone but me. I told him I was sure he had a reason for hitting him, even if he didn’t want to share it, then I gave him the snow globe and said that it always made me happy to shake it and watch the glittery snow fall down on Lightning McQueen. Charles smiled and took it with him. We never even talked about it again, I honestly thought the snow globe landed in a box for goodwills the next summer, or latest when Charles moved out of his childhood home. But no, here it was, sitting on top of my table next to our P1 and P2 trophies. I was at a loss for words when Charles approached me, taking my hand in one of his, cupping my cheek with his other. "Charles, what’s…" I began but he shook his head.

"I was with all the other guys at the bleachers when you walked past us and waved, I waved back and they all started making stupid noises, making fun of me, saying I had a crush on you and were laughing at me, then David or Diaz, whatever, he said, that you’re just a stupid girl and that I just let you win, that you’re not even half as good as him… I told him to shut up and then he laughed and said if I love you so much and want to protect you, to play your knight in shining armour, then I should marry you… so I hit him… but although he was an asshole, and a psychopath as we know now… and all the other guys were assholes as well, he was right… I should marry you…" he said and my eyes widened as he took my other hand in the one that cradled milliseconds before my cheek and kneeled down in front of me, taking a deep breath and smiling his sweetest smile, dimples starting dimpling, eyes locked on mine.

I stopped breathing, my heart skipped a beat and Charles smiled nervously as he took the little jewellery box in his left hand. He closed his eyes for a second, taking another deep breath. Then his eyes were on mine and he smiled again.

"My beautiful Lizzie, mon amour, cara mia, it has always been you for me, it’s you I wanna see first things first when I wake up and it’s you I wanna see last when I go to sleep. I want your everything, the good, the bad, the ugly… although their can never be anything bad or ugly with you… saying that I love you doesn’t even express in the slightest how I feel for you, without you by my side, my life is just not liveable, it’s like your intertwined in every fiber of me! I promise to love you, care for you, make you laugh, cook for you, after I took another cooking class obviously, massage all your aches away, hug you when you need it, listen to you, tell you what you need to hear, be honest with you… now I just need an answer, to the most important question of my life. Elisabeth Doetterer, love of my life, will you do me the honor and make me the happiest man in the universe and marry me?" he opened the ring box and I gasped, the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen sparkled at me.

Tears were streaming down my face as I nodded.

"Oui! Ja! JA! Si! YES!" I answered and Charles leaped up from the floor and pulled me into a tight hug, hoisting me up in the air and spinning us around "A thousand times YES!" I screeched and kissed his cheeks.

"Ich liebe dich, Lizzie!" he twirled us around one last time before he sat me down and pulled me into an all consuming kiss.

After a moment where I had to fight off the dizziness from all the spinning, Charles took my left hand in his and slipped the ring on, it fit perfectly and I stared at it in awe.

"It’s perfect…" I murmured and Charles hugged me again, smiling when he saw how I was looking at my beautiful engagement ring, I turned my hand around, the lights reflecting off of it, making everything sparkle.

"Perfect, just like you!” he whispered and I couldn’t help it but beam at him as he started humming and I knew the melody by heart… Lover.

I stepped out of the bedroom, Charles on the phone with what sounded like our driver, when he turned around, his eyes widened and he hastily hung up.

"You look-… cara mia…" he began, looking me up and down from head to toe.

"Is it okay?" I asked nervously and his eyes shot up, meeting mine as he walked over, his hands on my waist pulling me closer.

"You look gorgeous… I’m- god I’m almost speechless… fuck- you look stunning…" Charles whispered "You have no idea what it does to me, seeing you in red."

"I have an idea, that’s why I love to wear red." I kissed his cheek, and he smirked.

"All red tonight?"

"I guess you have to wait and see…" I pulled away, taking my clutch and turning towards the door.

"We don’t have to go there tonight, you know? We can stay here… you, me, the bed, whatever is underneath your dress…" Charles took my hand in his, pulling me close again "How does that sound?"

"We’re not skipping tonight. This is your night. I want to celebrate my world champion fiancé!" I cupped his cheek and he sighed.

"You’re right, I want to show the world my beautiful fiancée!" he smiled when his phone vibrated "And that… that is our car. Let’s go, prettiest girl of them all."

The drive was quiet, Charles holding my hand in his, his thumb swiping every now and then over my engagement ring, a soft smile on his lips, paired with a light chuckle from time to time.

"What’s so funny?" I asked after a while and he grinned, shaking his head "Come on, tell me!"

"It’s nothing, I promise! I’m just so happy right now! One year ago I never expected to be here today! World champion. Engaged to the love of my life. It feels like a dream…" Charles smiled at me and I scooted closer.

"I told you you’ll win this year! You just didn’t want to believe me!" I pouted and he laughed, kissing the tip of my nose, putting his forehead against mine, as I closed my eyes.

"I know, cara mia…" he inhaled deeply "I’ve learned my lesson, and from now on I promise to always-…" he stopped and I opened my eyes again, looking at him.

"You always what?"

"I think I found something for my vow…" he chuckled a little.

"Your- your vow? You already think about your vow?" I was taken aback a little and he laughed, looking at my shocked face.

"I think about our wedding day and night." he confessed and I swallowed hard "I can’t wait for the day you agree to be mine forever."

"Oh my silly boy, I always was yours. Always will be yours. Ring or not…" I began when the car stopped.

"That’s good to know." he leaned over, pecking my lips "And now let’s make everyone jealous with how breathtaking you look!" he got out, walked around the car, opening my door for me, holding his hand out to help me get out of the car.

"Such a gentleman!" I chuckled and smoothed down the fabric of my dress.

"For you? Always!" he smiled and we stepped on the red carpet, a lady with a clipboard and headset nodding at us.

"Mr. Leclerc, Miss Doetterer, please wait for a moment until the carpet is clear and the photographers are ready…" she smiled and we waited, before she gave us the thumbs up "You can go now, enjoy your night."

We thanked her and walked the red carpet, the lights combined with the flashes were almost blinding and I was happy when we finally made it to our seat, after being stopped by a dozen of people all congratulating Charles on his first world championship.

"I need a drink." he said and waved at a waiter, ordering some drinks for us, that arrived right when the award gala began.

Charles looked a little anxious, nervously tapping his foot and I put my hand on his thigh, lightly squeezing.

"Hey? What’s wrong?" I whispered, leaning in.

"I’m just… I’m a little nervous? What do I even say? Should I’ve written a speech?" he said and I chuckled a little.

"Just go up there and enjoy your moment! Don’t overthink it!" I smiled and he nodded, but the nervousness didn’t fully leave him when he was called up on stage, receiving his award.

He stood there quiet for a moment, looking at his award and then at me, when someone handed him a microphone.

"Charles, many congratulations, Formula 1 world champion! How do you feel now, a week later? Did it fully settle in?" the host asked and Charles chuckled a little, before he held up the microphone.

"Not entirely, no. I think it might take a while, to be honest. This was always one of my biggest life goals, my biggest dreams and… well yeah, life goal achieved I guess. Or rather one of them…" Charles smiled.

"What were your first thoughts when you crossed that finish line, ahead of Max, knowing that this sealed the deal, you won the championship?"

"Honestly? I was more happy for Lizzie in that moment. What a way to retire! She had 3 incredibly season and finished them off on a big high…"

"But you surely also thought about the title, no?" the host raised an eyebrow.

"Of course, but it felt surreal, you know? For years and years this was the one thing I wanted the most. And to then achieve it? Yeah I was speechless for a good moment. But when I realised it, I couldn’t stop screaming… I was thinking about every single person who helped me achieve this goal. My entire team, who worked tirelessly to set me up with the best car possible, Fred who listened to and valued my input. All of the Tifosi around the world who never stopped supporting me, no matter what. All of my friends, my family for always being by my side, supporting me, cheering me on and of course my beautiful girl- no, fiancée, who was always with me, always believed in me, always fought for me." Charles looked at me, his eyes shining brightly under the stage light and I felt myself blush when a lot of heads were turning my way.

"Fiancée?" the host asked and I gulped.

I didn’t even hear Charles saying it, but the way people looked at me, Max grinning from ear to ear at the other side of the table and a lot of eyes staring at my hand, or rather the gorgeous engagement ring on my left hand, made me blush even more.

"Yeah… you see, before I collected this trophy, I already won the biggest prize when Lizzie said yes…"

"Well then, congratulations on your engagement as well!"

I didn’t listen to what was said anymore, I just felt all the eyes on me and all of a sudden it was hot, too hot and I jugged down the glass of water in front of me. Tonight was supposed to be Charles night, but now everyone was staring at me and I didn’t like it one bit. He was the one, people should look at, he was the star of the show. I looked down in my lap, nervously fiddling with the ring on my finger, flinching when I heard Charles next to me.

"Cara mia?" he gently cupped my cheek, tilting my head up "You okay?"

"Why did you say it? Tonight was your night! It was about you! You winning the title! You’re the champion! And now look how everyone is staring at me!" I rambled and he chuckled "You know how the internet works! Our engagement will be everywhere, your championship only a footnote…"

"Everything that is about me, is about you and the other way around… that ring means we’re one. And I wanted the world to know that this trophy tonight, although it’s nice and all, it doesn’t compare to the best prize I won all those years ago when I first met you, okay?" he whispered and I chewed on my bottom lip "And stop doing that because otherwise I’m losing my last remaining restraint and we’re out here in a minute, on the way back to our hotel!"

"Stop!" I rolled my eyes but before I could say more, Charles already captured my lips in a searing kiss "I guess now everyone knows that we’re engaged… the secret is out."

"True… that’s good, 'cause I really like calling you my fiancée." he smiled when he pulled away.

"I like it when you call me your fiancée…" I admitted.

"You have no idea how much I will love it calling you my wife, tho…"

Charles POV:

I watched how my mother, Marina, Charlotte, Sissy and Lizzie all sat together at the kitchen island, going through the two wedding binder, our mothers secretly created over the years. Lizzie looked a little overwhelmed, I could tell, but she did her best to hide it and smile, tried her best to be as bubbly as any bride to be would be.

"I think I have to save my fiancée, excuse me gentlemen." I got up and walked over "Ladies, I need Lizzie for a moment, our travel agency texted…" I lied and held my hand out for Lizzie to take and then lead her to our bedroom.

"What do they want?" she asked, mindlessly playing with her engagement ring.

"Nothing…" I said and she raised an eyebrow "You looked a little- overwhelmed? Exhausted?"

"No, no. I’m fine. It’s fine. You know how they are. They just want to help and yeah it’s a lot of input, they really had wedding binders… okay one binder but two copies of it and yeah they have some crazy ideas! And the locations? Since when are our families that religious that they would pick out the biggest, most pompous churches for the ceremony? And-…" she began to ramble, her breathing becoming faster, when her eyes widened and she hugged me out of nowhere "Thank you… I was overwhelmed…" she whispered and I chuckled, kissing the side of her head.

"That’s my duty, making sure you’re okay… but seriously, if this is all too much, then just say it, we’ll figure something out." I cupped her cheeks and she nodded slightly.

"It’s just… I love our mums… but they like it… so traditional… huge dress, a church, a big venue afterwards, hundreds of guests, even the decoration is-… it’s pretty, I’m not saying anything else, but it’s just not what I want… but I’ll need their help! I can’t plan it alone… so I guess I- no we have to make compromises here and there…" she sighed and I saw her eyes growing sad.

"No. No compromises. No tradition. No nothing what you don’t want! This is our day, Lizzie. Ours! And it’s going to be like you want it to be…" I began but she shook her head.

"It should be like we want it to be…" she whispered and I smiled.

"Exactly. It should be like we want it to be… I honestly think planning it with our mothers and still make it our day is impossible…"

"But I can’t do it alone… I have no idea how that should work out?" she plopped down on the armchair by the window and I followed her.

"What if we hire a wedding planner? Someone who will do all the work but also only does what we want?" I suggested and Lizzie looked up.

"But won’t they be mad?"

"Who cares? It’s our wedding, cara mia! Also, you’ll be busy with the F1 Academy, so knowing that someone, whose job it is, is helping with the planning while you’re busy working away with Susie? That just makes sense. So? What do you say?" I kneeled down in front of her "Let’s hire a wedding planner and make this day exactly the way we want it to be?"

Lizzie looked at me for a while, I could practically see the wheels turning in her head, when a big smile spread across her face.

"You’ll tell our mum’s the good news…" she grinned and I laughed.

"Wow, throwing me under the bus already…"

"Yup…"

After 2 hectic weeks with our families, we had a couple of days to ourselves in our tropical paradise. Most of the time we just lounged by the pool or the beach, enjoying our time together.

"Can you believe it? Danny Ric, becoming a dad?" Lizzie said when we were lounging by the beach.

"Can you believe it, Liam becoming a big brother?" I replied and she laughed.

The news of Daniel and Sissy, telling us over our family getaway that they were expecting their first child together caught us all off guard but we were all more than happy on the newest addition to the family.

"He’s going to be the best big brother there is. He’ll protect that little one with everything he’s got." Lizzie smiled and I nodded.

"Definitely." I chuckled.

"Sissy told me that our mums threw away their wedding binders…" she said after a while and I sighed.

"They’re just dramatic, don’t worry about them. I told them that it’s easier with a wedding planner and also that we want them to lean back and just enjoy the day."

"Hmm… I hope you’re right…" she mumbled.

"I talked to Marta, the daughter of one of her mums friends is a wedding planner." I said, sipping on my drink and Lizzie looked at me "Her name is Celiné and she sent me a link to her portfolio, you should check it out, I think she could be the right one for us."

"Okay… I’ll have a look later on, for now I want to cool down a little…" she got up and looked at me, wiggling her eyebrows "… are you joining me?"

"If I ever say no to that, just kill me already, would you?" I laughed and took her hand "Ocean or pool?" she asked and I nodded towards the ocean "Good choice Mr. Leclerc."

"Thank you, soon to be Mrs. Leclerc… no, Doetterer-Leclerc, I’m sorry!" I chuckled and we walked down the stairs, towards the beach.

A family of 3 was playing at the shore. The little one hesitant of the incoming water and Lizzie looked at the toddler with a twinkling in her eyes I’ve never seen before. But it was almost as fast gone as it appeared and she pulled me with her into the water, splashing me and I flinched.

"Hey!" she looked at me and I smiled "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure…" I replied and she pulled me closer "Ready?" I winked and she scrunched her nose up.

"For what?" she asked and I hugged her tight, throwing us into the waves.

When we emerged she was giggling, splashing some more water at me and we had some fun, splashing around. After a while I pulled her closer and hugged her close, hoisting her up and she slung her legs around my waist, shivering slightly.

"Are you cold?" I kissed her cheek, looking at her and she shook her head.

"Not really…" she replied and I smiled "But getting out wouldn’t be too bad too…"

"Got you…" I laughed and I sat her down, walking out of the water where we sat down on two beach loungers "Wait, I get you a towel and something to drink." I kissed her head and she nodded.

When I returned I was looking around, Lizzie gone, but then I spotted her and smiled, sitting down on the beach lounger. She kneeled down to the little toddler, smiling from ear to ear as she handed him his little shovel and the little boy clapped his hands together giggling happily.

"What are you doing? Baking some sand cakes?" she asked him and he nodded enthusiastically.

"Sand cakes for mumma and dada!" he chirped and Lizzie looked over at the proud parents smiling at their little boys charming antics "You bake, too?"

"Of course! Let’s make the most beautiful sand cake for your mumma and dada!" she answered and they started together on their cake.

As I watched them sanding together the mother approached me.

"Hi, uhm sorry to disturb you, but are you Charles Leclerc? And is she Lizzie Doetterer?" she asked and looked at me all shy. I just nodded and her smile got bigger "My husband is a huge Ferrari fan and he was just to shy and nervous to come over and ask for a picture with you… we don’t want to bother you guys on your vacation!"

"No, it’s alright. It looks like my girlf- no, fiancée is busy with your little one anyway!" I laughed and she smiled at me and waved her husband over.

"She’s amazing with him. He’s usually not that open and friendly with strangers!" the father said as he sat down next to his wife "I’m Matthew, this is my wife Tia and the little fella over there is Toni." I shook his hand and smiled as I looked at Lizzie and Toni, building a sandcastle, cake abandoned on their side.

"Yeah, she was always amazing with kids… you should see her with her nephews and nieces!" I answered and Tia smiled at me.

"I have a feeling she’ll be an amazing Mum one day!" she said and my mind went to Lizzie with a baby bump, cradling it as a toddler ran around her, kissing her bump, smiling proudly to be an older sibling in some time in the future.

I blinked and shook my head. Where did that came from? We haven’t even talked about having kids in a serious way. Especially not after the miscarriage last season. But seeing her with kids always made my heart skip a beat or two. And seeing her now, as my fiancée, my ring on her finger, playing with Toni wearing her most gorgeous smile, I couldn’t help but think about us having a baby. A little bundle of joy, looking hopefully just like her. I smiled at Tia and nodded.

"Yeah, I think she’ll be an amazing Mum one day!" I said as Toni jumped into Lizzie’s arms and they laughed about the water destroying their sandcastle.

We sat on our terrace, Lizzie happily munching away when I had to think back at her with little Toni. The little image I had in my mind.

"You’re really quiet? Everything okay?" Lizzie asked and I looked up from my plate "Something is going on in there, I can tell…" she brushed my hair out of my eyes and I smiled, catching her hand, kissing her palm.

"Did you ever think about kids? Like… actively?" I asked and her eyes widened "I mean.. we spoke about kids, once or so, that we want kids one day… but ever anything… serious? You know? And after Singapore…"

"I’ve thought about it… yeah." she almost whispered "But… how could we have a kid, both racing in F1 so yeah, it was always something really far ahead in the future I thought…"

"Yeah, true… but now? I mean… we’re not both in F1 anymore, sadly… but- but now we could think about it- actively. Like really plan it or… not plan, consider it? Having a little mini you or mini me? We should really think about it?" I said and the look on her face changed.

"Wait, wait , wait! You’re serious?" Lizzie asked and I nodded.

"I was never more serious about anything in my life! We’re at the perfect stage of our life’s! You had 3 amazing years in F1! Proved everyone wrong about women in F1! I finally won the WDC! We’re engaged! We achieved more than most people will achieve in their entire life! So why not?" I said and Lizzie’s smile got bigger and bigger.

"I have to say, thinking about you as a dad? Mhhh I guess the word dilf will get a whole new meaning!" she chuckled and I launched at her, tossing her over my shoulder.

"If I’m a dilf, you’re sure as hell be a milf!" I laughed and walked with her into the bedroom, where I dropped her gently and stood tall over her "Let’s make a baby!"

"Now? Like right now? Charles that’s not how it works! I have to stop taking my pill and then it will take a while-…" she began but I silenced her with a kiss.

My hands travelling up and down her sides, kissing along her jaw down her throat.

"You know the saying, practice makes perfect…"

The beginning of the new season approached faster than anticipated and after 10 days of intense training in the mountains with Andrea I was more than happy to return back home to Lizzie, especially after we had set up our first appointment with Celiné, our potential wedding planner.

"Okay, stop!" I grabbed Lizzie's hand and she looked at me

"Why are you so nervous?"

"I don't know, okay? This- this is our wedding and I want it to be perfect! But what if I don't like her ideas? Or even worse, she doesn't like mine?" she gnawed on her bottom lip and I chuckled a little.

"Cara mia, it's our wedding and whatever you want is what we're having... the wedding planner is just there to help you a little, okay?" I held her hand up and kissed her knuckles, watching her visibly relax.

"Okay. But... it's not just what I want, it's also what you want! This is our wedding, our day!" the look on her face made me fall in love with her all over again "I want the day to be perfect."

"And I am here to ensure that!" a blonde woman in a dark green suit stepped up to our table and I got up, shaking her hand "Hi, I'm Celiné, hopefully your new wedding palnner."

"Hi Celiné, I'm Charles and this is my fiancée, Lizzie." I smiled at her and Lizzie got up as well and shook her hand.

"Oh please, as if you need to introduce yourselves! I know you. My family is obsessed with F1 since-….. ever I think?" she laughed and we sat down "I have to admit, when I saw your names in my calendar I had my little fangirl moment." Lizzie next to me tensed a little, looking at the blonde woman.

"Not the first time someone fangirls over Charles." someone who didn't know Lizzie wouldn't hear the iciness in her voice, wouldn't see that her smile wasn't genuine anymore and I had to fight to not laugh.

"Charles? Oh yeah, sure, no offense, you're an incredible driver! Congrats on the title, by the way. But I was more excited to meet you, Lizzie." Celiné smiled at her, and Lizzie was taken aback.

"Me? Why?"

"Are you kidding me? First real female F1 driver? 3 incredible seasons? 5 wins? And that all while being told all the damn time that you couldn't be as good as the male drivers? Yeah right, you kicked some asses out there!"

"Wow... umm- thank you." Lizzie blushed a little and I smiled.

"Oh, don't mention it. Alright, shall we start?" our wedding planner opened her notebook and looked at us "Describe your dream wedding. Just summarise what you want it to be, give me a little insight."

"Umm... I want all of our families and friends together, a fun day with good food, lot's of drinks, music." Lizzie looked at me and I nodded.

"It doesn't have to be super fancy, a nice location, it would be perfect when the ceremony and reception are at the same venue." I said and Celiné nodded.

"In a church? With a venue attached, I have some in mind. Or no church, a civil ceremony?" she asked.

"Civil ceremony." Lizzie and I said in unison and Celiné laughed.

"Okay, talking about numbers. How many guests? Small wedding? Big wedding? 50 guests? 100? 200? The budget? Go we all out?"

"Oh umm- we haven't decided on a number of guests yet. But not too big? All our families, friends, some people from our teams?" Lizzie looked at me.

"Yeah, I think 100 guests would be the absolute maximum..." I nodded and she gulped.

"100? That's not a small, intimate wedding then..." she tilted her head a little.

"What about we keep the 100 in mind and I'll look for locations where 100 guests would fit in, but that doesn't mean we'll plan with 100 guests?" Celiné suggested and Lizzie nodded "Perfect. Now... budget?"

"No budget." I said and Lizzie looked at me, rolling her eyes

"We talked about this cara mia."

"You talked..." she mumbled and I sighed.

"This is our day and we don't plan with a budget. We say what we want, we pay what it costs."

"You said yourself you want nothing to fancy. So we won't go overly crazy with the budget, don't worry Lizzie. And Charles is right, this is your day and it should be perfect." the blonde said and I nodded "Have you thought about where you want to marry? Here in Monaco? Germany?"

"Italy." we both said again in unison and I smiled.

"Lake Garda, Maggiore or Como… somewhere there?" I asked and Lizzie nodded.

"Sounds perfect…" she smiled and Celiné wrote it down.

"With your schedule, it won’t be too easy to find a date, but do you have some dates in mind?"

"We don’t want a wedding in July or August, way too hot!" Lizzie said and Celiné nodded.

"And like you said with the racing calendar… not so easy, but there is one weekend that would be perfect… after Barcelona, the weekend from the 6th to 8th June. On Sunday in the evening I’ll have to leave, maybe some of the other guest as well… but yeah…" I said.

"So the wedding on Saturday, the 7th of June? Alright, I already have some ideas. Any special colours? A theme?" she asked and I looked at Lizzie.

"I like pastel colours? Crème and beige? I like it more natural? And no theme…"

"Yeah… sounds good to me." I nodded.

"Okay… I can work with that… anything else?" Celiné looked at us "Special food?"

Lizzie gnawed at her bottom lip, looking at me.

"Say it…" I laughed.

"I would love a pizza and pasta buffet for dinner? Freshly made pizza and pasta, fresh salad and antipasti? Nothing fancy. Just some good old classics everyone will love." Lizzie said and Celinés eyes got big.

"Yes! I love it! Finally someone with good taste!" she clapped her hands excitedly "So, I have some ideas already, I’ll send it to you and you let me know if you consider me as your wedding planner."

"That’s not necessary I think?" Lizzie looked at me and I nodded "We would love to have you as our wedding planner!"

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah, we’re sure." I smiled.

"Okay, perfect. Then I guess I prepare the contract and start with everything!" she got up and shook our hands "I’m really excited, I have a feeling that this wedding will be truly magical… I’ll give you a call in the next days."

"Thank you, Celiné." Lizzie smiled and as soon as she was out of earshot she turned to me, a big smile on her face "She’s perfect! I think this is going to be amazing!"

"You heard her… it’s going to be truly magical."

Chapter 49 - my babies are engaged ♥️ Charles is a world champion 🏆 Danny Ric will be a a dad 👶 from now on expect a lot of fluff and fluff and even more fluff to come… drama? Nope… never again 👀

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @shimmermotorsport @janeh22 @kahhorri @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @fangirlforever2000 @skynel09

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[differentpostrebel]

Lost and Found: A Pirate's Promise

This adds for the scene in this chapter lmfaoooo

A/N: Welcome back for an exciting new chapter! This chapter was so fun to write. As always the previous chapters are linked as well. You guys dont want to miss the next chapter as it's gonna be an action pact chapter while also a serious talk needs to be had between Sanji and Y/N. Now grab your snacks and let's dive right in. Y/N really is flirty and maybe even more than our favorite lovesick cook, but all's fair in love and war right ;). 

Y/N is an established pirate and a formidable warrior, with the third highest bounty in the Straw Hat crew. She's not just another member; her strength and skills have earned her a respected spot among the crew.

Sanji, our favorite lovesick cook, falls head over heels for Y/N almost immediately. True to his nature, he tries every trick in the book to catch her attention, from cooking her favorite meals to showering her with compliments. On the other hand, Y/N may have a small crush on Sanji, but she’s cautious and focused on her goals as a pirate.

As the story progresses, that small crush gradually blossoms into something more profound, but their journey together won't be easy. With the chaos of the New World looming, the dangers they face will test their bond and loyalty to each other. Will their love be strong enough to survive the trials ahead, or will the perils of their pirate life tear them apart?

Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster filled with angst, action, and a dash of romance. I'm thrilled to take you on this adventure with Y/N, Sanji, and the rest of the Straw Hat crew!

Word Count: 6.7K 

Sanji x reader, Sanji x Y/N, One piece x reader 

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8 (Here)

Chapter 8: A New Era: Coming Back to Sabaody 

Y/N POV.. 

The ship gently rocked as it neared Sabaody Archipelago, the familiar sight of the bustling islands growing closer with each passing second. I stood by the rail, the wind ruffling my hair as I gazed out at the archipelago. It felt surreal that two years had flown by so quickly. The memories of our departure seemed like they had happened just yesterday.

"Y/N," John’s voice broke through my thoughts. I turned to see him approaching with a warm smile. "We’ll be arriving in Sabaody in about five minutes."

"Thank you for the update," I replied, my smile matching his. I turned back to the view, a sense of anticipation building within me.

John continued, his tone shifting slightly. "Bummer that Sam couldn’t be here. I wonder what important business he needed to attend?"

"I'm sure it’s something significant," I said, nodding. John's hand rested gently on my shoulder, offering comfort. "But he did want to give you this."

He produced a small box from his pocket and handed it to me. I carefully opened it to reveal a delicate gold anklet. My eyes widened in awe. "Sam, he really shouldn't have..."

John watched as I admired the anklet. "He also left you a letter. He wanted you to read it."

I took the letter from John, unfolding it with a mix of curiosity and excitement. The letter read:

"My dearest Y/N,

The anklet is meant to enhance your strength and agility. When you stomp your foot down, the anklet will channel the energy to give you a powerful force, a move I like to call the 'Tremor Strike.' This will give your attacks a seismic impact, useful for both offense and defense. Until we meet again, Princess.

Love, S"

I marveled at the letter, feeling a swell of emotion. Sam’s thoughtfulness was touching. I immediately unfastened the anklet and secured it around my ankle. Following Sam’s instructions, I prepared to test out the new move.

As you focused on the energy within you, the tension in the air seemed to thicken. With a deep breath, you lifted your foot, feeling the power of the anklet coursing through you.

Bringing your foot down with determined force, the ground beneath you quivered. A powerful shockwave rippled outward from the point of impact, making the boat tremble slightly. The force of the "Tremor Strike" was palpable, and you could feel the energy surge through you, confirming the effectiveness of Sam's gift.

The others on the boat watched in awe as the shockwave dissipated, leaving a faint echo of its power behind. They exchanged impressed glances, clearly taken aback by the raw strength and precision of your new move. The boat remained stable, and the ripple effect gradually subsided, showcasing the impressive impact of the Tremor Strike.

A grin spread across my face as I felt the surge of strength and control the anklet provided. "This is incredible," I said, looking at John with excitement. 

"Looks like you’re having fun," a familiar voice interrupted. I turned to see the King. His old demeanor of regal formality was no longer present; instead, he was smiling warmly at me, his expression filled with genuine happiness. 

"Just as we were about to dock and I was ready to get off, the King grabbed my wrists and spun me around. "Princess," he said with adoration, though there was also a hint of sadness in his eyes, as if he wished he could accompany me on my journey. I had promised him and his men that I would return and bring my friends along.

"You know I don’t like being called Princess, Your Majesty," I teased.

"I know," the King replied with a smile, "but we gifted you that title because you earned it and showed tremendous growth over the last two years. I wanted to give you these gifts."

He handed me the first gift, a beautifully crafted sword. It wasn’t just any sword—it was adorned with various gems and crystals, each one catching the light in a dazzling display.

"King, you really don’t have to. The training and staying on your island was more than enough for me," I said, overwhelmed by his generosity.

"No, but this is from me," he insisted. "You will need it if you want to be a formidable warrior, one that others will fear."

I stared at the sword in awe. "Tell me, this isn’t what I think it is!!!" I gasped.

The King’s grin widened. "Yes, Y/N. This is the 'Elemental Crescent.' We modified it to fit your needs. Each gem on the handle serves a purpose: the red gem channels fire, the blue gem channels ice, and the yellow gem channels light. This means if you ever face Kizaru again, you will be equally matched with his Devil Fruit powers. We know about your encounter with him here in Sabaody. We couldn’t believe you stood up to him, injured and all, but that’s what made you a force to be reckoned with."

He continued, "The sword is designed to be wielded by only you. If anyone tries to snatch it or use it, they’ll be shocked by a series of electrical charges. It also acts as a shield—if an enemy tries to pull a stunt, the sword will protect you until you activate it."

I couldn’t help but tease, "So, say we get hit by cannonballs—something small, you know. How will I activate the sword?"

The King chuckled. "You press on them and wield it as a regular sword. If you want to, for instance, send the cannonballs back or even destroy them, you click on the gem you wish to activate, and it’ll block the cannonball and send it right back with your chosen gem's power."

I looked up in awe, absorbing every detail. "And what’s the second gift?"

The King’s eyes twinkled as he handed me a small box. I opened it carefully, revealing two gold rings, one for each hand. My eyes widened in surprise. "Are these...?"

"Yes, they are Y/N," the King confirmed with a nod. "The ring with the chain attached is meant for your right hand. When clenched, it will give you the strength of ten men. And if you make a knuckle guard, your right hand will produce electricity, perfect for any offensive move."

I stared at the rings in awe. "But I thought—"

The King interrupted gently, "The left ring, which is meant to be worn on your pinky, has its own special function. Why don’t you try it?"

With a nod, I slipped the ring onto my left pinky. The moment it touched my skin, I felt a strange tingle that traveled all the way up my arm and down to my legs. The sensation was exhilarating.

"Now, run," the King instructed.

I dashed forward, my legs moving with a speed I had never experienced before. It felt like I was propelled by an unseen force, racing across the ground in mere seconds.

"Now jump!" the King commanded.

I leaped into the air, and to my astonishment, I felt as though I was producing a form of skywalk. I hovered momentarily before landing smoothly, my heart racing from the adrenaline and surprise.

Looking up at the King, my eyes wide, I gasped, "This is incredible! I didn’t know I could move like this!"

The King’s smile was warm and approving. "You’ve earned these gifts, Y/N. Use them well. And remember, I’ll be here cheering you on from afar. Don’t forget to visit, and bring your friends along too."

In a burst of gratitude, I ran straight towards the King, wrapping him in a heartfelt hug. “Thank you so much,” I said, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. His blush was faint but noticeable, making me giggle with a sense of satisfaction and warmth.

With a final wave, I stepped off the boat and pulled out my vivre card. Following its guidance, I set my course toward Rayleigh. As I walked away, John and the King, along with the soldiers, waved their goodbyes.

John turned to the King with a thoughtful expression. “Your Majesty, you never told Y/N what would happen if someone were to take her rings off.”

The King’s eyes twinkled with a knowing smile. “Good. Let those who try figure that out for themselves.”

He smirked as he watched me walk further away from the ship, the excitement of new possibilities ahead and the warmth of parting gifts still lingering in my heart.

Sanji POV…

I finally landed on Sabaody Archipelago, the familiar chaos of the island greeting me with a mix of nostalgia and relief. "I never thought I'd miss this place again," I muttered, a cigarette dangling from my lips. The scent of the bustling streets and the myriad of characters brought back memories of our previous visit.

As I scanned through the streets, my heart skipped a beat when I caught sight of a group of beautiful women nearby. My eyes widened in awe. "Women! Real women!" I exclaimed, my voice tinged with both excitement and longing. "How I’ve missed your delicate features, no stubble, no hairy legs—just honest-to-goodness women!"

With renewed enthusiasm, I made my way toward them, ready to proclaim my appreciation for the finer things in life. "I need lady!" I called out, my voice echoing through the street.

But before I could get too carried away, a voice stopped me in my tracks. "Sanji, dear."

The spell was broken as I turned to see one of Iva's candy men winking at me. My fantasy shattered in an instant. "Looks like this is the end, but we will meet again someday," the candy man said with a playful grin.

"Fat chance!" I retorted, annoyed. "Say hi to Iva for me, but go away!"

I dashed away from the unwelcome distraction, focusing on what really mattered. "I’m on my way, Nami, Robin, my love! Y/N, baby, your prince is finally here!" I shouted, a sense of determination propelling me forward as I made my way to reunite with my friends.

Y/N POV… 

I stood in front of Shakky’s Rip Off Bar, looking up at the familiar sign. "Made it to Grove 13," I muttered to myself with a smile. The excitement of being back in Sabaody mingled with my anticipation of reuniting with familiar faces.

I glanced at my new weapons—the Elemental Crescent sword strapped securely to my back and the gold rings on my fingers. Deciding to test the pinky ring's capabilities once more, I clenched my left hand and sprinted up the steps with lightning speed. The sensation of super-speed was exhilarating, and I managed to cover the steps in record time. As I reached the top, I unclenched my hand and opened the door to the bar.

Inside, I was greeted by Shakky, who looked up from behind the counter with a warm smile. "Shakky, how are you?!" I asked, my voice full of enthusiasm.

Shakky’s eyes widened with delight as she took in my new look. "My, my, look what we have here," she said, her gaze taking in my outfit. "You’re looking fantastic. That outfit really sends a powerful message."

I couldn’t help but smile at her praise. My new outfit—a fitted cropped white shirt with three buttons casually undone, a short skirt, and ankle-heeled boots—was designed for both style and practicality. Training had sculpted my body, and my hair now reached mid-back in soft waves, a significant change from its previous length.

I remembered the advice King had given me about my hair during our training. It was one night, after a particularly grueling session, that Sam and I had a conversation about it.

Flashback:

"Your hair is becoming a liability," King had said sternly as he inspected my progress. "Enemies will grab it easily and use it against you."

I nodded, frustration evident on my face. "I understand, but I don’t want to cut it too short. It’s been a part of me for so long."

That night, sitting in the moonlit courtyard with Sam, I expressed my concerns. "Sam, I think I need to cut my hair. It’s just too much of a hindrance."

Sam looked at me with a mix of sympathy and resolve. "If that’s what you think is best, I’ll do it. Your safety is more important."

With a determined nod, I agreed. Sam carefully trimmed my hair into a bob, knowing it would grow back in time. The change was drastic, but it was a necessary step in my growth. Two years later, my hair had grown back, but now it was more manageable and suited my new style.

End Flashback:

Returning to the present, I looked at Shakky, who seemed to appreciate the change. "Training wasn’t easy, but it was worth it," I said, lightly touching my now manageable hair. "Who arrived first, if I may ask?"

Shakky smiled knowingly. "That would be Zoro."

I nearly spit out the liquor I had just sipped. "ZORO?!" I exclaimed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "He barely knows where he’s heading—how did he manage to come first?" I took another sip, still in disbelief.

Shakky chuckled, clearly amused by my reaction. "Honestly, Rayleigh and I were shocked too. But yes, Zoro made it here first. Then came Nami, and you happen to be third. The others should be arriving shortly."

I nodded, a smile tugging at my lips. "Well, in that case, I’ll go find Nami. I’ve missed her so much! And while I’m at it, I’ll do some shopping along the way."

Shakky laughed softly. "I’ll let the others know you made it safely. Take care out there."

"Thank you, Shakky," I said, finishing the last sip of my drink. I placed the glass down on the counter and stood up, feeling a mix of excitement and anticipation. With a final wave, I headed back out into town, eager to reunite with my crewmates and explore the bustling streets of Sabaody once more.

After finishing your shopping spree, you decided that a quick drink would be the perfect way to unwind. As you made your way to a nearby bar, the sudden sound of a gunshot from inside caught your attention, immediately setting your senses on high alert. Cautiously, you peeked inside, trying to assess the situation before making your presence known.

Inside the bar, you noticed a group of impostors pretending to be the Straw Hat Pirates. Among them was someone dressed as Luffy, while others poorly mimicked Nami, Usopp, and Franky. They were boasting loudly, claiming to be all-powerful. Your eyes narrowed as you spotted the fake Nami, a short woman, approaching the real Nami, who was sitting alone at a table. The fake Nami tried to assert her dominance, demanding that the real Nami sit with their "captain."

Rage welled up inside you, and you fought to keep your right hand from clenching. Now was the perfect time to intervene. With a calm but determined stride, you pushed open the bar doors and walked confidently inside. As you approached the real Nami, you deliberately bumped the fake Nami out of the way, sitting down next to your crewmate.

The fake Nami, clearly angered, cocked her gun and aimed it at you. "Just who the hell are you? Do you know who I am?" she sneered.

You smirked, finding her tenacity mildly amusing but far from intimidating. "No, but do you know who I am?" you replied with a hint of menace in your voice. Without waiting for a response, you clenched your right hand and delivered a powerful punch to her face, sending her flying across the room into her "crew." Smoke filled the bar as their table shattered under the impact, and they all crumpled to the ground from the force of your attack.

"Thanks, King," you muttered under your breath, unclenching your hand to deactivate the power.

Turning back to the bar, you casually asked the shaken bartender, "Can you get my friend and me a nice cocktail, please?"

Finally, you turned to face Nami, who had been watching the whole scene unfold. "Y/N!" she exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across her face.

"Hows it going, Nami!" you replied, beaming as you both embraced each other, jumping up and down in excitement. You couldn't help but admire how much both of you had grown and changed since you last saw each other.

Just as you were about to settle down, the fake Straw Hats began to stir, clearly intent on seeking revenge. You instinctively reached for your sword, ready to deal with them again, when a voice from the side called out, "Special attack Green Star—Devil!"

A plant-based creature suddenly sprang to life, attacking the fake Straw Hats with surprising force. You immediately recognized the handiwork—it was Usopp! Without hesitation, you and Nami ran over to him, wrapping him in a tight hug.

"Usopp! Look at you! You've changed so much! And those muscles!" you exclaimed, genuinely impressed.

Usopp laughed, returning the embrace. "It's great to see you guys too!"

"Let's get out of here," Nami suggested, grabbing your bags. Usopp hurried to gather his things, but not before Nami unleashed a new technique of her own, showcasing just how much she'd grown as well.

Sanji POV…

"Moss-head was here first!" I exclaimed, disbelief lacing my words as I sat down on the bar stool. I couldn’t believe it—Zoro, the guy who couldn't find his way out of a paper bag, was the first one to make it back to Sabaody. "After that came Nami, Y/N, then Franky, Usopp, and Chopper," Shakky explained, her voice calm as always.

"Y/N?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat. "She's here?!"

"Yes, she is," Rayleigh chimed in, flipping through the newspaper with a casual air. "And I have to say, she’s transformed so much since the last time we saw her."

Rayleigh continued, mentioning Brooke’s concert for the islanders and the fact that I was the last one to arrive. Almost everyone was here and safe. The only ones left were Robin and Luffy. Relief washed over me knowing the crew was slowly coming back together.

"Hey, Shakky, do you… by any chance know where I can find Y/N?" I asked, trying to sound casual even though anxiety bubbled inside me. I had something important to tell her, something I couldn't keep to myself any longer.

Shakky looked at me knowingly, a small smile playing on her lips. "She mentioned she was going to find Nami and do some shopping. I’d try looking around there."

"Perfect," I said, nodding with determination. I stood up, ready to head out, but then paused. If I was going to find Y/N, it wouldn’t hurt to stock up on some ingredients as well. After all, a good meal was always the best way to celebrate a reunion. With a plan in mind, I left the bar, my thoughts focused on finding Y/N and finally getting a chance to talk to her. 

Y/N POV… 

"Huh! You're kidding?" Nami's eyes widened in surprise as she listened to my story. "So you trained on an all-male island, and the king gifted you these weapons and jewels too?"

I nodded, smiling as I saw the sparkle in her eyes at the mention of jewels. "Yes, I did. But only I can wear and use them. If someone else tries, well... let’s just say they’ll regret it. The king was very clear about that," I said with a playful smirk. "But honestly, the training was worth it. King treated me really well."

Nami’s eyes gleamed as she leaned in closer, almost whispering, "Jewels, huh? And powerful ones too! You’re so lucky, Y/N!"

Usopp laughed, "Man, Sanji is going to be extremely jealous when he hears about this."

At the mention of Sanji, I halted my steps and looked down, the smile fading from my face. "Sanji, huh... He owes me a long explanation for the stunt he pulled two years ago. Don’t think I’ve forgotten," I said, feeling anger bubbling up inside me. The memories of him kissing me and then launching me at Luffy, and the sight of our friends disappearing right before my eyes, especially being the second to go—it all came rushing back.

Nami and Usopp exchanged a glance, both knowing the weight of what had happened. Nami quickly changed the subject, her tone lightening. "Let’s continue shopping! There’s so much to see!" She grinned, pulling Usopp along towards a nearby shop.

Laughing, I waved them off. "You two go ahead. I’ll walk around for a bit and catch up with you at the ship!"

As they walked off, I continued down the street, lost in thought about Sanji. What did he look like now? Had he changed, or was he still the same flirtatious cook I remembered? Just then, I bumped into something solid, stumbling backward.

Before I could fall, a strong hand caught me. "Sorry, Y/N," a familiar voice said, pulling me back into the moment.

I looked up and saw none other than Zoro standing there. "Zoro!" I exclaimed, immediately running into his arms, wrapping my legs around him as I hugged him tightly. "Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you! You’ve gotten so strong, and you look good too," I added with a wink, feeling a bit of flirtation slip out.

Zoro smirked, returning the hug before setting me down. "Thanks. You’re looking pretty strong yourself, but you know, a certain cook might be even madder if he saw us like this."

I laughed, "Let him be mad! He has some explaining to do anyway."

Zoro chuckled, "He sure does. But I wouldn’t mind seeing him squirm a bit."

Zoro's smirk deepened as he looked at me, and I could see that familiar glint in his eyes. "You know, Y/N, you’ve really changed. Not just the hair and the weapons. There’s something different about you," he said, his voice lowering a bit as if he were trying to figure out exactly what it was.

I tilted my head, smiling. "Good different or bad different?"

"Good," Zoro said without hesitation. "Stronger. More confident. It suits you."

I blushed slightly at his words, but I couldn’t resist teasing him a little. "Careful, Zoro. If you keep saying things like that, people might think you actually care."

Zoro’s eyes followed me as I started to walk away, and I couldn’t help but add a little extra sway to my hips, just to see if I could get a reaction. Sure enough, when I glanced back, I caught him looking. His gaze quickly shifted away, but not before I saw a faint blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Enjoying the view, Zoro?" I teased, stopping in my tracks and turning to face him, a playful smirk on my lips.

Zoro’s eyes narrowed, though I could tell he was trying to play it cool. "Maybe I am. Got a problem with that?"

"Not at all," I replied, stepping closer to him, closing the distance between us. "In fact, I might even say I like it."

He raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised by my boldness. "You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N."

I leaned in just a bit, my voice dropping to a whisper. "I like a little danger. Keeps things interesting."

Zoro’s expression faltered for just a moment, his usual stoic demeanor slipping as he looked down at me. There was a heat in his gaze that sent a shiver down my spine, and I knew I’d hit a nerve. He was trying to stay composed, but I could see the crack in his armor.

"You better be careful," Zoro muttered, his voice a little rougher, "or someone might think you’re serious."

I chuckled softly, placing a hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my fingertips. "Who says I’m not?"

Zoro’s breath hitched slightly, but he quickly recovered, placing his hand over mine. His touch was warm, and for a moment, I could feel the tension between us. "You’re gonna drive that cook crazy, you know that?"

I laughed, stepping back just enough to keep the tension but not break the moment. "Maybe that’s the point. Besides, a little jealousy might do him some good."

Zoro’s lips twitched into a smirk. "You’re wicked, you know that?"

"Only when I need to be," I shot back, giving him a playful wink. "But don’t worry, Zoro. I wouldn’t want to make you jealous, too."

He scoffed, but there was a light in his eyes that told me he wasn’t entirely unaffected. "I’m not the jealous type."

"We’ll see about that," I said, turning on my heel and giving him a final wave as I started to walk away. "Catch you later, Zoro. Try not to miss me too much."

Zoro chuckled, shaking his head as he watched me go. "No promises, Y/N."

I couldn’t help but smile as I watched Zoro disappear into the distance, still feeling the thrill of our little exchange. Just as I turned the corner, my eyes caught sight of a familiar white bear standing in the crowd. "Bepo?" I called out in surprise.

Bepo's ears perked up at the sound of his name, and when he saw me, his face lit up with excitement. "Y/N!" he called out, rushing over to me with his usual clumsy enthusiasm. "How are you?"

Before I could answer, Penguin and Shachi joined us, both grinning as they watched Bepo try to gather his thoughts. The big polar bear seemed unusually flustered, which only made the scene more endearing.

"Captain Law wanted me to give you these!" Bepo finally managed, holding out an arrangement of stunning roses. They were a mix of white and red, beautifully arranged with a small note tucked between the petals.

"Bepo, these are so sweet," I said, touched by the gesture. The flowers were exquisite, and I could only imagine Law’s expression as he picked them out. My fingers traced over the note, curious about what he might have written.

"Captain said they were important," Bepo added, a bit more shyly now.

curiosity got the better of me. I carefully unfolded the small note tucked between the roses, eager to see what Law had written.

Been a while since we last saw each other. Think of me every time you see these flowers. Looking forward to seeing you soon, Princess.

—Law

My cheeks immediately flushed as I read the words, the nickname "Princess" sending a wave of warmth through me. How did he... I wondered, feeling a mix of surprise and flattery. I glanced up from the note, my eyes meeting Bepo's, who was watching me with an innocent, expectant look.

"Bepo..." I began, my voice a little softer, "How did he know...?"

Bepo shifted on his feet, clearly trying to hold back his excitement. "Captain Law is very observant," he said, his voice almost a whisper, as if he was revealing a secret. "He said you might like them."

I couldn’t help but smile, my heart skipping a beat at the thought of Law thinking about me enough to send such a thoughtful gesture. "Well, he was right," I said, feeling a bit bashful. "Thank you for bringing these to me, Bepo. It means a lot."

Bepo beamed, clearly happy with the success of his mission. "I’m glad you like them, Y/N! The captain will be too!"

I took a deep breath, trying to steady the fluttering in my chest. "Make sure to tell him that, okay? And remind him that he’s going to owe me more than just flowers next time."

Bepo nodded enthusiastically, his tail wagging slightly. "I’ll tell him!"

With one last smile, I waved to Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi before turning to head back toward Grove 13, the note still clutched in my hand. The thought of Law’s words stayed with me, making me blush every time they crossed my mind. Looking forward to seeing you soon, Princess. The words echoed, making me feel both excited and a little nervous about our inevitable reunion. As I made my way through the bustling streets, I spotted Franky and Robin in the distance, already aboard the ship. They waved back at me, and I couldn’t wait to share the news of my encounters with them. 

Sanji POV… 

““You idiot! How did you manage to confuse ships?" I spat, blowing a puff of smoke from my cigarette. My patience was wearing thin as I glared at Zoro. "And on top of that, you cut a pirate ship in half too!"

Zoro shot me a sharp look, his hand instinctively resting on the hilt of his sword. "Hey, moron! It’s not my fault that those idiots didn’t get out of the way in time," he barked back, clearly unfazed by my anger.

"You’re such a reckless bastard," I snapped, jabbing a finger in his direction. "I swear, one of these days your brain is going to get you into a situation your swords can't fix!"

Zoro scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "At least I don’t go around drooling over every woman I see. Speaking of which, I ran into Y/N earlier."

My heart skipped a beat, and I froze, the cigarette almost falling from my lips. "You... you saw Y/N?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

Zoro smirked, clearly enjoying my reaction. "Yeah, I did. She's looking even better than before, if you can believe it. Stronger too. She even gave me a little... warm welcome, if you know what I mean." He chuckled, and I could see the gleam in his eye as he remembered the encounter. "If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’s been thinking about me."

Jealousy flared up inside me, my grip tightening on the cigarette as I imagined him and Y/N together, flirting, laughing. My blood boiled at the thought. Y/N and Zoro? No way in hell.

"That’s it, moss-head! You want to fight? Let’s do it!" I shouted, my foot slamming down, cracking the ground beneath me. "I trained these legs on the shores of Hell for two years!

Zoro grinned, his hand gripping his sword as he took a step forward. "Oh yeah? Well, you’re gonna need those legs to start running because I’m about to cut you in half!"

The tension between us was electric, and for a moment, it felt like we might actually come to blows. But as much as I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face, a part of me held back. Y/N... would she really fall for this idiot? The thought nagged at me, making my heart ache with uncertainty. When I see her again, will it be the same as before? Or has something changed?

The bickering continued, but my mind was elsewhere, wondering if Y/N would still look at me the way she used to. Would she still smile that special smile just for me? Or had someone else already stolen her heart? 

Y/N POV… 

After arriving at the Sunny, I quickly made my way to Robin and Franky, hugging them tightly. "It’s so good to see you both! You’ve changed so much!” I exclaimed, taking in how much stronger and more confident they seemed.

Franky chuckled, his usual grin in place. "You’re not looking too shabby yourself, Y/N. What have you been up to?"

I laughed, glancing at the group. "Oh, just a little training and a few surprises." My eyes fell on Usopp, who was struggling to carry an impressive stack of shopping bags. I couldn’t help but laugh. "Usopp, looks like you went a little overboard, huh?"

Usopp grinned sheepishly. "Well, a guy’s gotta look his best, right?"

Nami was next, and I embraced her warmly. Just as I was about to let go, I noticed her eyes fall on the bouquet of roses next to me. Her smirk widened, and she raised an eyebrow. "So... I see you and Sanji have made up?"

I stood up from the embrace with Chopper, picking up the roses and holding them out. "Oh, these aren’t from Sanji."

Nami’s eyes widened in surprise. "They’re not?"

I shook my head, a smile creeping onto my face as a blush warmed my cheeks. "Nope, they’re actually from Law."

The group gasped in unison. "LAW?!" they exclaimed, their eyes wide with shock. Robin giggled, clearly amused by the reaction.

"Yeah," I said, trying to keep my voice steady despite the blush. "It’s been a while since we last saw each other. The note said to think of him every time I see the flowers and that he’s looking forward to seeing me soon."

Nami’s eyes sparkled with curiosity. "So, you and Law...?"

I shrugged, a smile tugging at my lips as I admired the beautiful roses. "Let’s just say these flowers mean a lot."

Just then, my transponder snail buzzed with an urgent message from Shakky and Rayleigh. "Luffy’s here, but so are the Marines. We need to move the Sunny to Grove 42 to catch up with him."

Franky immediately took charge. "I’ll inform Sanji and Zoro through the transponder snail I gave Sanji. We need to make sure they know where to meet us."

Chopper, who had been quietly observing, stepped forward. "I’ll help bring the remaining crew back, with some help from my friends at the Birdy Kingdom."

"I’d like to go too," I said, determination in my voice. "I want to be there for my captain and help bring the other two knuckleheads back as well."

The group agreed, and Chopper and I set off together. As we made our way to find Luffy, Sanji, and Zoro before the Marines could reach them, I couldn’t help but feel a surge of excitement. 

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. So… Y/N and Law ayeee Lmfaoooo, Sanji def got some competition. And that talk is about to be much for both of them, but it needs to be said. The Card law wrote thoo who knew he was the romantic type! And you flirt with Zoro LMFAOO Zoro and Sanji bickering as usual, and now the gifts given to you by the King are honestly such a great touch for your journey. Tomorrow's Chapter is about to be so juicy and good! Yall dont want to miss this. Thank you guys for following, and interacting with the story. Thank you for the likes as well! See you guys tomorrow for more!

[tokusmuts]

From my next door sister to my lover (Chapter 2)

This is what I promised, hope you can still enjoy it with some changes of my writing style!

Wanna know what happened to lead to this Chapter 2? Move to this Chapter 1 to find out yourself!

Characters: Hidden Male Character x Riho Takada

Words count: 2928

Categories: Quick time event (?), many teases, half quickie, cowgirl, breastsucking, chilling vibe

You woke up with all the sunshine blasting into your eyes through the window. You first thought this was still your apartment house until you opened your eyes, and this is where you were invited to enter by its owner yesterday. There's still the feeling among your body—your wildness is still there, just like the sex at the sunset yesterday—the feeling of Riho's body contracting you, and all the invitations she gave are still in your memory. And after the dinner she prepared for you, there was the night where you were completely hers. Opening your eyes with your still-naked body in the large white blanket, you're still in your recovery mode after yesterday until you hear a familiar voice:

"Wake up yet, little babe? Don't know that you need that much time to recharge." - Riho's voice echoed from the kitchen.

That voice comes with some sizzling sounds; you better feel lucky since it's still early enough in the morning to both recover after filling her again and again yesterday and also not be too late at school.

After how much I filled your insides yesterday, you must not be that quick to recover, right? - I said, still a little bit sleepy.

“It's true, but I'm more than willing to help you recover, too!” -  Riho quipped with a playful smirk as she walked into the room, wearing a revealing silk robe that barely concealed her lingerie. "After all, you've been my rock last night, sweetheart." She approached the bed, her hips swaying enticingly, and sat down next to you. Placing a hand on your chest, she leaned in close, her breath warm against your skin. "But first, let's get some food in us. I made breakfast for us, just like I've always dreamed of doing for someone special." Riho then stood up, swaying her hips as she walked towards the door. "Come on, let's eat, and then we can decide how to fill our day, okay?"

You’re leading yourself around the clock, but you don’t mind too much about it yet. Your focus on her can bring out anything else, just like the way she’s continuing to wear only lingeries at home like yesterday, and it brings a wonder inside of you:

“Seems like it's not just yesterday, but it's everyday that you're only in your lingerie here, huh?” - you wonder about her.

"Oh, you noticed!" Riho giggled, turning back towards you with an impish grin. "Well, I like to keep things interesting, don't I? Plus, it's not like I have anyone else to see me in these except you. I guess you'll just have to get used to it."

She winked, and then continued towards the door. "But seriously, I feel comfortable like this when I'm alone. And now, with you here, I can even feel more comfortable. It's like having a little secret between us, isn't it?". As she exited the room, she called back to you, "Hurry up and join me, sweetheart. The food won't get any warmer waiting for you."

The word “warm” runs to your ear just to remind you of everything that happened yesterday, not just that sunset but also the whole night after. Every word from her just reminds you again and again. You started feeling like you wanted to start from something; indeed, you mocked her back: “It better warmer than my partner, which was inside a naked lady the whole last midnight, dear Miss Riho.”

Riho paused in the doorway, her eyes twinkling mischievously as she turned back to face you. "Oh, I can definitely help with that," she whispered, her voice low and sultry. "If you're still feeling a little chilly, I can always warm you up." She sauntered back towards the bed, her robe billowing around her as she moved. "Now, would you like a little tea to start? Or do you have other ideas in mind?". Her eyes danced with mischief as she leaned down, her breath warm against your ear. "We do have all day, after all... And I'm more than happy to find new ways to keep you warm."

Now you can imagine what's going to happen later, but there's still something blocking you out of it: your body is not in its state, and you have to be late for school if you're too into this quick time event. But you just want to have a test to see which side you would prefer—a half-quickie or a normal morning—and you can still have the whole time for her later after finishing this afternoon.

“It's always the best for more, but it seems like 4 rounds through the last midnight after only a dinner was an unfair deal for me, even when I was recovered after that.” - your test is now depending on her answer.

Riho chuckled softly, her hands resting on your chest as she looked into your eyes. "Is that so, little babe? I'm sure I could manage another round if you're up for it. But I understand if you need a break, too." She leaned in closer, her lips grazing your ear. "We can always find other ways to keep each other warm and satisfied. Like a nice, long massage? Or maybe something a little more... intimate?". Her fingers traced gentle circles on your chest, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "The choice is yours, my love. I'm always here to help you recover, in any way you like." As she leaned back, she added with a wink, "Besides, maybe I'm the one who needs warming up again."

Now you’re clear about the answer that you’re looking for, but you still want to mock her a bit. After all, you’re still just a student, aren’t you? That’s how a younger person plays, then.

“If you mean helping me recover is draining my partner, then you did it with a perfect home run yesterday, though." - It seems like yesterday is never a thing that can come out of your mind now, at least until there’s something new to enter your mind later.

"Oh, is that so?" Riho teased, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "I guess I'll just have to make sure I drain you properly today, then. After all, I can't have you being too exhausted to keep up with me." She playfully poked your chest, her grin never leaving her face. "But seriously, I'm happy to do whatever you need, little babe. You've been so wonderful to me, and I want to make sure you're taken care of, too." As she straightened up, she gestured toward the door. "Come on, let's get some food in us first. Then we can decide how to spend the day. Maybe we'll find a new way to keep each other satisfied." Riho's eyes sparkled with mischief, and she added with a smirk, "And who knows? Maybe I'll even let you cook for me if you promise to make up for my 'draining' you yesterday."

Cooking for her? You can’t remember when you properly “cook” something, even for yourself. As a single person, you’re proud enough to be a VIP customer of many food delivery brands.

“You don't know how much I paid for shippers for every meal every day, so don't expect my cooking though," - you said as you show her your “Diamond Certification” VIP level of your favorite food delivery app.

Riho laughed softly, her laughter echoing through the room. "Oh, I know you're a busy man, sweetheart. But cooking together can be fun, and besides, I want to see if you're as talented in the kitchen as you are in bed." She winked playfully before turning around and walked towards the kitchen, her hips swaying enticingly in the loose robe. "Come on, let's get started. We can chat more while we cook.". As you followed her, you couldn't help but admire the way she moved, her curves accentuated by the thin fabric of her lingerie. She seemed to know exactly how to tease you without crossing any lines (for now). But you crossed the thickest lines yesterday already, you gotta take the initiative now: “How about...ordering something to eat? I prefer to continue our job last night while waiting for the shippers then!” - you know your offer is too bold, but you don't know how to describe your want more gentle.

Riho turned around, her hands on her hips, and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, are you really that eager to continue our 'business'?" she teased, her voice dripping with false disappointment. "But fine, if that's what you really want, I suppose we can skip breakfast entirely." She walked back towards the bed, her hips swaying provocatively, and climbed onto the mattress, spreading her legs invitingly. "Come here, my love," she purred, patting the spot beside her. "I'll treat you to something special." As you joined her on the bed, Riho pulled the sheets and blankets aside, exposing her bare bottom and the lingerie-clad curve of her ass. "Now, what do you want me to do first?" she asked, her eyes full of mischief. "Should I tease you a bit, or do you want to get straight to the action?"

Now, you’re between two roads that she spread to you. Even when you choose the quick-time-event choice, your desire cannot decide where you should lead to:

“How about both? It could be a risk of being drained right before studying, but I don't want to choose at all.” - Yeah, why do you have to choose if you can take both?

Riho giggled, her breath tickling your ear. "You're quite bold today, aren't you?" She leaned closer, her breasts brushing against your bare chest. "Alright, we'll do both," she whispered, her lips brushing against your neck as she traced a trail downward. As she reached your belly button, she stopped, her fingers tracing slow circles around it before moving lower. "But first, let's make sure you're fully awake," she teased, her voice dropping to a husky whisper. "Close your eyes and relax; I'll take care of that for you." Her hands moved downward, caressing your thighs before reaching between your legs, her fingers teasingly brushing against your arousal. 

"You smell so good," - she murmured, inhaling deeply. "Like, I can't resist you anymore."

“You didn't let me resist anytime the whole morning, though!” - your voice was mixed with a bit of reproach, but you couldn't escape the pleasure Riho was giving you right now.

Riho chuckled softly, her hands stilling for a moment. "Is that so?" she asked, her voice filled with amusement. "I suppose I'll have to make sure you can't resist me at all, then." She resumed her teasing, her fingers tracing circles around your arousal, her breath warm against your skin. "I'll make you mine completely, little babe. And if that means you can't resist me, then so be it." Her eyes gleamed with mischief as she looked up at you. "Now, are you ready for round five? Or do you need a little more convincing?" Her hands continued their slow, sensual caress, her fingers gently stroking your arousal as she waited for your response.

You know you need this, but you start looking at her. It seems like you’re about to wake up a beast that is only waiting for your invitation to take the lead.

“Oh my, I shouldn't be that needy, right?” - you try to make things less intense, but that’s just a try at hopelessness.

Riho's eyes twinkled with mischief. "It's okay, baby," she assured you, her fingers tracing gentle circles around your head. "You can always rely on me to satisfy your every need." She leaned closer, her lips brushing against yours in a soft, teasing kiss. "But if you insist on resisting, I guess I'll just have to take matters into my own hands," she whispered, her voice husky with desire. With that, she reached down and pulled your pants and underwear down to your ankles, exposing your hardened member to her hungry gaze. "You smell even better now," she murmured, her eyes fixed on your throbbing tip. "And I want all of you."

Without waiting for your response, Riho positioned herself over you, her breasts pressing against your chest as she lowered herself onto you. With a moan, she began to ride you slowly, her hips moving in a rhythmic motion that matched the beat of her heart. You help her remove the lace bra as her breasts just repeatedly bounce in your sight. With your help in releasing, her breasts even bounced more intensely. Both your and her moans are just mixing together as they always are, but you just want to hear hers since it can turn you on even more and more, so you capture a nipple while squeezing the other one. You take turns around them; make sure that there's only her sound filling the room, and you can enjoy your favorite taste of her body.

“Oh my, the tightening... just take this initiative, Riho! Even though I only have 30 minutes before picking up your ordered breakfast straight to school, I don't want to stop every second for this.” - your words keep separating, and you have to scream everything you want your next-door sister to hear. 

Riho groaned loudly, her nails digging lightly into your shoulders as she rode you harder and faster. Her movements became more frantic, her body arching in sync with each thrust. "Yes, oh yes!" she cried out, her voice hoarse with pleasure. "Give me everything you got, baby!" Her hips slapped against yours, creating a wet, slapping sound that reverberated throughout the room. Sweat trickled down her forehead, mixing with her makeup, making her look even more desirable. She wrapped her arms around your waist, holding on tightly as she rode you relentlessly. In response, you gripped her hips tighter, matching her pace and thrusting upward to meet her every movement. Your breathing grew heavier, matching hers, and soon enough, you both lost yourself in the rhythm of their passionate dance. “I'm so close...ah...I'm really close, Riho!” - you are so ready for your “fifth” release, as both of you agreed to call it so.

Riho gasped, her eyes widening as she felt your grip on her hips tighten. "Me too, baby," she breathed, her voice shaky. "Let's finish this together, please!". Your bodies moved in unison, sweat glistening on her skin and her hair tousled and disheveled from the intense session. Riho threw her head back, her cries growing louder and more desperate. Finally, as you reached the peak, Riho screamed your name, her muscles clamping down on you. In response, you released deep within her, your release pulsating inside her warmth. For a few moments, you lay there, panting heavily, locked in each other's embrace. She knew what she needed to do; she lay forward, placing her nipples on your lips. You didn’t ignore the gift as you opened your mouth and swallowed it one last time.

When you finally broke away, Riho grinned cheekily. "Better order double, huh?" she said, her voice still ragged from passion. "Just in case we need energy later." Despite the mess they were in, Riho jumped off you, her smile never fading. "C'mon, hurry up and clean up, babe. Let's enjoy our meal before heading to school.". After a while recovering, you only have 10 minutes left, still enough to ask her for something last: “What a way to warm up for school, Riho-san. After today, I will have a holiday. What should I do with you?” - you asked her.

Riho’s expression shifted to excitement. "Holiday?! Oh, that sounds amazing! How about we plan a trip somewhere nearby? Someplace where nobody knows us, and we can truly relax and enjoy ourselves?". She grabbed her phone and quickly searched for potential destinations, humming happily as she browsed through the options. "There's this beautiful island resort I found recently; what do you think?". As you finished dressing, Riho continued discussing plans excitedly. "Or we could staycation instead! Have you ever tried those luxurious hotels with private pools and personal chefs?". Her eyes sparkled with anticipation, clearly looking forward to spending quality time with you. 

"Whatever we choose, I want it to be memorable." - that’s how you know you chose the right person to love.

“Resorts have got to be a little bit risky, and I don't want anyone to record our loving time to post on porn sites either. Our images, especially your job, will get damaged because of that, you know.” - After all, safety must be on top of your mind.

Riho nodded thoughtfully, putting her phone down. "That makes sense," she agreed, her brow furrowing slightly. "Staying local might be safer, then. Besides, we can always book a secluded villa or something similar." She smiled brightly once more, her spirits lifting instantly. "So many places offer privacy, and I bet they have lovely amenities. How does that sound to you?". Riho took your hand, leading you towards the door. "Let's start searching together, alright? This holiday has to be extra special since we'll be taking time off work and spending our love together in a different place. But only after today’s school, deal?"

Of course, your answer is nothing more than “deal.”. Her eyes lit up with enthusiasm, and she added enthusiastically, you just put a smile on her as you say a temporary goodbye to her for a long day at school, but you also understand that there will be a long (or not) holiday after this to enjoy with her. 

Of course, to be continued!

[theharmonious13]

Danganronpa Despair Time Death Prediction (Chapter 2 Released Edition)

*This post was created when Chapter 2 Episode 15 is the latest episode released. I hope there's nothing at the end of this chapter that changes or crushes my predictions for now.

**Spoilers for Danganronpa Despair Time up until Chapter Two, if you're reading this for some reason then happy reading :3

Chapter 1 (Complete)

XXX

Chapter 2 (Complete)

XXX

Chapter 3 (Veronika kills Arturo and Whit)

I imagine because of her talent and unique personality Veronika will end up killing, although after chapter two I can see her being both a victim or blackened because of her secret revealing she 'harmed herself for fun'. I don't have any specific predictions on what she would plan because of her enthusiasm for horror. Might not be in character but I can imagine her making a 'treasure hunt' type presentation for her murders, collecting hints as to where the victims are, or revealing new cryptic information to the group. She could mess with lights, objects etc. in a different way than Min did because I can imagine her planning her crime in intense detail. Despite what I just wrote I hope she survives longer, I love hearing her enthusiasm towards character distress/aspects of the killing game but... I unfortunately can't see her making it to the end. I can imagine with her self harming tendencies she wouldn't mind being executed if she fails :/

I figure she would be smart enough to take out Arturo despite his height because he's the closest thing the cast has to a medical expert. Additionally I think she'd choose Whit to murder because of his smaller size/character archetype (jokester who doesn't take the killing game as seriously), and how it plays into her possibly favourite horror tropes. I could be dead wrong here but both Arturo and Whit seem like they won't really contribute story wise except for their family connections (Arturo's sister and Whit's mother, both of which I'm curious to learn more about). The creator has also confirmed it'll follow the original Danganronpa format, which is why I'm so confident there will be the typical two victims in chapter three regardless of who I guess.

Chapter 4 (Rose kills Hu)

This also mainly came about because of the chapter 2 trial. Unless I missed something up until now Hu seemed to take a 180 type character spin in a niche way, going from the motherly/helpful figure to still that but less so. She's now explicitly (and weirdly imo) delusional when it comes to understanding/connecting with people, using logic and arguing about her morals. With her angry outbursts at those she disagrees with and her newly revealed secret of 'trying to commit suicide three times' I think there's a very low chance she'll survive. She got fully taken advantage of by David and Niko since day 1 pretty much and will still try to be friends with Niko in chapter 3 I bet despite them literally attempting to frame her for their failed murder attempt. She wants to live so she claims but the odds seem to be against her now with the new group dynamic...

Rose I can also see being both a victim and a killer because of her random micronaps, complex memory with irrelevant memories and passive nature. If she is a victim she could leave a note with related to the most irrelevant clue of the case or use it to her advantage intentionally/unintentionally giving a false witness testimony in her trial (similar to Gonta in V3). She has also been betrayed by Nico (when they stole her turpentine so they could use it for murder), so it would be interesting for her and Hu to interact in more detail in the next chapter onwards. Her surviving to chapter four gives her enough time to come to terms with her memory and helpfulness or to have a different aspect of character development in my opinion.

I could see this murder playing out two ways. The first is that the two get in an argument over Nico, causing Hu to attack first. Rose then defends herself on the fly and thus a messily planned murder method and crime scene play out. The second is that Rose somewhat plans to murder for the sake of getting her family out of financial debt, and could use her art forging skills to make false evidence/visual confusion for her crime scene.

Chapter 5 (Nico kills Levi)

So chapter 5 is usually the chapter where characters take drastic action to end the killing game and/or it will be a very relevant to the final trial where the mastermind is usually exposed. Chapter 2 revealed that both Nico and Levi have alot of unlikeable personality traits that have now been brought to light. Both since the beginning of the killing game have also been social outcasts, and have had difficulty reading social cues. As both of them are murderers I would like to imagine in this scenario that to save the other contestants they have a Gundham/Nekomaru type dual. They've both murdered (or almost) before so neither would shy away given the right circumstances.

Survivors (Teruko, Eden, J, Charles, David)

I think this roster makes for a solid survivor group with an interesting range of personalities. I was originally planning to predict Teruko dying in chapter five because of the popular fan theory that her real secret is 'the killing game is all your fault' but if that's true it would make more sense to keep a consistent protagonist/the reveal would be more satisfying if you could see her reaction. None of the survivors (so far) seem to not be friends with each other so it would be interesting to see them work together to end the killing game, especially with Teruko being so distrusting of others.

David being this game's antagonist who can go either way for helping escape the killing game would be interesting to keep around story wise. Him, Charles and Teruko are three characters who contribute alot to each class trial, so I imagine it would be fun to see more late game bickering between them. And of course him getting blamed for things he didn't do because no one can trust what he says. Given how close he was to Xander it would make sense for him to be alive in order to solve all the mysteries surrounding him.

J while having an average intelligence as well as balance between emotional and logical responses would make for a good mediator between the rest of the survivors. She could also be very good for conveying the themes of fame and popularity because of her backstory (they're on live television which would be goof for ratings).

Eden is sort of the Himiko of this group surviving for the sake of her friends, and being the most devoted when deadly truths about the killing game are revealed (and man I want to know if she really used that fork to stab Xander's eye like alot of fan theories suggest).

I'm hoping and praying as a Charles fan that he and dead his brother who has been forgotten about are relevant enough to the plot for him to survive. In a final class trial as the ultimate chemist would be very useful for analysing and collecting evidence (as long as there is no more blood around which isn't very Danganronpa like haha).

[laurey257]

GOOD OMENS SEASON 2 FIX-IT RECS UPDATED LIST (6 weeks out!)

Hello all! I am stunned by how much you all liked my first list of Good Omens Season Two fix-it recommendations on Archive of our Own! Thanks for sharing. Now that we’re 6 weeks out instead of two, there’s lots more good stuff on there and I thought I would post this new and expanded list for you? I broke it into categories, doubled it, and found lots more wonderful stuff to read.

**This was a hard decision but I am excluding works in progress since they need time to mature—all these are complete /compliant and can be invested in without fear.**

FULL SEASON 3 WORKS

To the Universe

22 chapters and I cannot say enough good things. It’s amazing closure and feels SO good to read. Writing style in this one is very compelling and keeps you on your seat until the end.

Somewhere Only We Know

A stunning 40 chapters for anyone who wants to just burrow down in this universe and never leave it. The angel and demon go separate ways only to reunite to (yet again) save Earth one more time.

Daily Report

This is written REALLY well. 6 chapters manages to bring about a really nice arc to reconciliation post Season 2! I was impressed.

MULTI-CHAPTER FIX-IT WORKS

Wouldn't It Have Been Nice?

Crowley is called to Heaven by a dying Angel. Jesus intervenes. Will break your heart, but it has a happy ending.

I Do Love Nothing in the World So Much as You

Soooo nice. 3 chapters bringing them straight through it as Aziraphale comes back and tries to beg forgiveness. NICE arc in this one. Believable.

Oh Simple Thing, Where have you Gone

This one says 7 of ? chapters, but I included it because I like the premise and what is there feels sort of complete? An interesting fixit where the Metatron has devious plans and locks up Crowley as part of that. The Bentley has a starring role in here during several heroic rescue plans.

Something Wrong

Ooooo! A NICE twist in this one. I won't reveal it, but this fic is based on some of the most compelling theories around why Aziraphale might not have been totally consenting when Metatron takes him away.

Jesus, Etc.

Crowley runs into a frantic Aziraphale with Jesus in tow at a Barbenheimer premiere. A battle of the wills with pop songs in the Bentley, Taylor Swift, Kenergy, sushi, a nativity play and a magic show come next.

ONE SHOTS (SMUTTY)

The Second Coming

The Second Coming - Episode6killedme - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Aziraphale “awakens” in the elevator (think ox ribs but sexually) and yeets himself back to earth to roger Crowley six ways from Sunday.

A Middle Ground

Aziraphale and Crowley have been separated, but the Angel won't let go. He kidnaps Crowley to a cloudscape and pleads his case. A Bridget-Jones like WWF bickering throwdown ensures. The part featuring reactions on the part of 737 Ryanair passengers and one airline attendant had me wheezing.

Just Called to Say Fuck You I Love You

This one is just spicy as hell, y'all. Aziraphale picks up on Crowley prayers while in Heaven, and let's just say that he's doing some ACTIVE praying.

Not for all my Little Words

Not for All My Little Words - mia_ugly, soft_october - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

An adorable one where Aziraphale, realizing he screwed up, chases Crowley through loudspeakers and other people’s phones through Europe using famous love quotes until he gets his attention (and some forgiveness.) Smut ensues.

ONE SHOTS (LITTLE/NO SMUT)

Darling, Can you Ever Forgive Me?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48966298

A daydream, leading to Aziraphale doing the right thing and heading back to Earth to declare his love.

Cause you like me too much and I like you

'Cause You Like Me Too Much and I Like You - alastor_holmes - Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]

A sweet little one where Aziraphale quietly resigns, has a chat with Gabriel and Beez in the bookshop, and does the apology dance.

Everywhere

everywhere - vivahate - Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett [Archive of Our Own]

Azi Crowley instead from a Heavenly asassination attempt. (Maggie, nina and anathema help!)

Heaven is Not Fit to House a Love

heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and i) - Zaexx - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

A sweet little one with a *small* deviation from canon (that seemed ok because they have a good point.) Crowley had never told Aziraphale about the way the angels managed his trial OR about what he saw in the Heavenly files with Muriel. He jams his way into the elevator (telling the Metatron to get the next one) and tells him.

Magician's Choice

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49066831

Oooooo I like this one. Four ways that the ending could have gone instead, based on four magic methods of sleight of hand. So cool!

A Proper Apology

A Proper Apology - cyankelpie - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

One where the Angel simply calls over and over until they really talk. (Or imagine the idiots simply just used the phone.)

The Nightingales Were Just Sleeping In

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49041145

Cute, adorable, small...just a retelling of the final scene where they really TALK and don't just be idiots.

This is Not an Apology

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48992128

Aziraphale comes to Crowley while he tries to sleep it all off and they actually talk, for once.

Time to Turn it Right

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49162285

Azi tries to fix things. Crowley gets a cat.

We Don't Need Heaven

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49598467

They talk again, this time on the beach, and for real.