#but they were on the road to a better path

[unabletonotlovesatoru]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ teddy’s notes: spider-man! midoriya because it makes sense. not proofread!! sorry for mistakes . also i want to specify that izuku really reminds me of tom hollands portrayal of peter parker, literally two puppy eyed losers, so obvi that movie is more of an inspiration than tasm.

spider-man! midoriya, who’s been called useless and felt the same thing his entire life only for it to change when a curious spider bit into his arm. now, he can at least do something and even if it mostly goes unnoticed by civilians and stuff — he doesn’t care because the sense of justice and duty in him is too strong. but he does dream of his favourite hero, all might, noticing him one day.

spider-man! midoriya, who has to get a new school uniform because not only is he taller than he was before, but he is also wider and overall bigger, which needs to be hidden, obviously. although, kacchan does notice the fact that he’s the same height as him now, even a little bit taller, which becomes something everyone likes to tease the blond about. bakugou on the other hand is fucking furious, demanding izuku tell him how he got so tall right fucking now, or i’ll kill ya, nerd.

spider-man! midoriya, who hides his proud grin whenever he overhears people being impressed with his abilities as they watch videos that other civilians took. videos of him flying around, hanging from his self-made webs and apprehending bad guys he encounters, and it’s a nice feeling until someone starts to bash him for stealing police’s work. police could never be like him tho!!

spider-man! midoriya, who sleeps for 2-3 hours every night and comes to school with cuts and bruises and spends his time thinking of how he can improve and be a better hero. he does hours of research and spends all of his scholarship on different materials and stuff that could make his suit more durable and resistant to all kinds of things: tears, rips, rain and all that.

spider-man! midoriya, who thinks he’s so slick with everything and he’s got everything under control. little does he know about you, silently watching him from afar.

spider-man! midoriya, who despite being gifted with an amazing eyesight, is blind to your surveillance of his behaviour. how you notice every time he disappears in the middle of a lesson after taking a brief look at his phone, how he forces himself to slow down when p.e. classes come around and pretends to not be able to pull himself up more than 4-5 times, which only gets a delighted howl from katsuki, the self-proclaimed “best”. you notice how he winces sometimes, bracing a hand against the table as the other clutches his side or his ribcage and how he stays late after chemistry classes. maybe it’s just that you like him so much that it makes you be so observant of him, however there’s something off about izuku midoriya.

spider-man! midoriya, who thought he was a magnet for trouble, but you seem to wear that title just as easily as him.

spider-man! midoriya, who saves you because for some reason you attract trouble like no one else does. someone tries to pickpocket when you lean down to feed a stray kitten, you nearly walk into a pole when you’re too immersed in whatever you’re watching on your phone, or someone almost runs you over when you’re crossing the road — izuku really doesn’t understand how it happens so many times.

spider-man! midoriya, who is pleasantly surprised by the newfound connection between the two of you. he doesn’t mind spending unnecessary amounts of time walking you home through the long path so he can continue rambling and dodge your silly questions about his abilities and how did he get them, thoroughly enjoying the frustration that covers your features. you don’t even know it’s him, your classmate of two years now — izuku midoriya, who is the proclaimed nerd of the said class.

spider-man! midoriya, who didn’t even know you were this talkative since he always hangs out with the same people and the only reminder of your presence in class is when the teacher is checking the attendance. you’re always somewhere in the background yet you always seem to know what they’re talking about. maybe it’s because mina seems to be friends with you and since her mouth is like a unstoppable force once opened you slide into the conversation very easily, and no one seems to mind. after meeting you one too many times as spider-man, izuku’s attention always somehow drifts to you yet he doesn’t notice the familiarity that sometimes fogs your gaze as you listen to his replies attentively.

spider-man! midoriya, who has to cover his face so no one notices how red it is when he accidentally catches you doodling spiders in your notebook.

spider-man! midoriya, who is delighted to be paired with you for a project. you offer to study at his place, referring to your house as ‘too loud’, and izuku is totally fine with it. he has no idea that you’re already sitting in his room by the time he’s done with his usual patrol routine.

spider-man! midoriya, who slides into his room through the window and when he turns the lights on, the last thing he expects to see is your shocked face: brows nearly disappearing into your hairline, eyes wide open, mouth ajar and ready to scream.

[violettwrites]

american teenagers — intro.

helloooooo my loves!!! here’s an intro into my comeback fic, american teenagers! i sat on this idea for a little while during my tiny break and i honestly couldn’t get it out of my head. i was heavily inspired by ethel cain for the vibes of it all, hence the name :)

please bear with me in all this as i do get easily overwhelmed and experience burnout very quickly but you guys are always supportive so i have no doubts!!

i’m not sure when the first chapter will be out, but i’m slowly working on it as i am very excited for you guys to read it! lots of love xx

the summer of 1987 was supposed to feel different. everyone in town kept saying it— teachers, parents, the tired voices on the radio between commercials. they said it like graduating highschool meant anything would actually change. but for the kids in the trailer park on the outskirts of town, it wasn’t much more than another hot season stretched out between long days and longer nights. the same parties by the lake, and the same dreams about escaping that no one really believed in.

the days were always the same for you. early mornings at the gas station counter, and evenings at the diner pouring coffee for truckers passing through. anything to keep you out of your father’s path really. your nights were often spent on the roof of your trailer, a cigarette in one hand and a notebook full of half-finished plans and dreams in the other. for daryl, the boy you had known since he was a scrawny little thing with clothes too big for him, it was merle’s shadow and busted knuckles, endless hours fixing bikes and cars in the sun while dreaming of roads that led anywhere but this small town.

you couldn’t remember a time when daryl dixon wasn’t around. his trailer was only three down from yours. you had been inseparable since the day you caught him standing by the broken fence of the trailer park, segregating the southside of town from the rest of the townspeople. the two of you had seemed like an odd pair to everyone else— daryl’s constant silence and smoldering anger along with your rough edges and restless energy —but somehow, it worked.

the summer after highschool felt like your last chance to figure out if those dreams the two of your had whispered about on those late night drives would ever come true. but the weight of this small town— the trailers, the jobs that paid barely enough to keep the lights on and your fathers off your backs, the scars you didn’t talk about —it all hung heavy between the both of you.

you didn’t really realise it at first, the way your feelings for daryl had shifted. it wasn’t a lightning bolt or this big grand revelation in your head. it was slower than that, like the way the heat crept up during june, making itself known in those hazy afternoons and the sweat dripping down your back. you started to notice those small things— how his voice softened when he talked to you, or the way his shoulders relaxed when the two of you were alone. you couldn’t pin point when it changed, only that it had.

daryl wasn’t any better at handling it either. he’d always thought of you as the one person who saw him for more than what people whispered about the dixons— trailer park trash, troublemakers, destined for nothing. you didn’t flinch at the bruises he didn’t explain, or the scars he wouldn’t talk about. you were his anchor, his light. but now, everytime you smiled at him or touched his arm, it felt like something inside him was breaking apart and putting itself back together all at once.

that summer wasn’t just about the heat, the bad decisions, or the endless nights spent sitting under a starless sky. it was about the weight of knowing you could only hold onto each other for so long before something— or someone —pulled you apart.

neither of you had the words to say it yet, but you both knew: the end of your childhood was here, and whatever seemed to come next would either bring you both closer or tear you apart for good.

if you enjoyed this, please give it a like/reblog! your support always means the world to me 🫶🏻

stay tuned for the first chapter! if you’d like me to add a tag list, comment below!

[thinkingthougths]

ngl im finding it hard to get the story going and actually come up with a decent plot and i’ve also started writing like 5 other stories that i hope one day i can post here xoxo

-Ghost x female reader

2036 words

-no warnings in this chapter

The haunting of a Ghost

Chapter 4

You called in sick the rest of the day. Just a few non significant meetings that didn’t require your presence nor had any importance in the future, just routine and what not.

From noon to late evening you kept to yourself in the barracks, thankful that your bed were at the end of the room and provided a wall instead of a neighbor bed. The coverage gave some privacy compared to the ones whose bed were placed in the middle of the room, surrounded by others with no corner to hide in.

Restlessly you attempted to sleep through the day, turning back and forth in your bed chasing an ounce of some shuteye. A nap seemed like the best way to make the hours pass by quicker, not wanting to endure the ever growing pit of shame in your stomach and the constant flashbacks of the incident with the lieutenant.

You self-sooth by tightly hugging yourself, desperate for some comfort to calm yourself. It helped a little, loosened your muscles and slowed your breathing. But sleep never came.

Glancing at the clock on your phone, it says it’s past seven in the evening. Meaning the cafeteria will most likely be devoid of any visitors, since dinner was two hours ago. You missed the meal when you opted to stay in bed and loathe yourself. Persistent growls from your empty stomach reveals how hungry you’ve become after not participating in dinner. You need to eat, and now is the best time to sneak past everyone to get to the building where the cafeteria is and buy something from the vending machines.

It was a whole ordeal mustering up the confidence to accept the chance you might stumble upon Ghost on your way there.

You’ve spent every minute since the whole fiasco happened going through all the details. Scrutinizing your actions and thoughts, judging yourself and hating that you didn’t call in sick from the beginning. Then you wouldn’t have had ended up as a train wreck and everything would have been normal and continued the way it was before.

You should have listen to your gut feeling that told you it wasn’t a good idea to enter the gym today. Should have heeded the foreboding omens.

The cafeteria was in the northern building and the path there took you right by all the recreation rooms and places where everyone would relax especially now when the work day was over for most people. Thankfully, you knew of a shortcut that wasn’t really much of a shortcut, just a different path nobody particularly used. Its path winded through several conjoined buildings, up and down few stairs, and then a small path behind the cafeteria to its back door. The buildings were mostly made up of meeting rooms and similar rooms that were only used during the day and are supposed to be empty this time of day. It’s a road you’ve hiked before, when the introvert in you were desperate for food and not in the mood for small talk with your fellow soldiers.

Dressed in simple gray sweatpants and a black fleece jacket with a T-shirt beneath, you embarked on the journey for some dinner.

A few of the women from your barrack stopped you on your way out, asking how you were feeling. They had been on the meetings you missed and noticed your lack of presence. You gave them a hasty throw-up of words about the reason why, lying that you probably just had eaten something your stomach didn’t approve but it was much better now. They swallowed your lie with ease and let you continue on your errand.

It’s nice knowing that you’re not completely invisible as you think you are sometimes and that people actually do notice if you’re missing.

The dim lights at the door give way for the moons gentle glow shine through the small window. Opening the door to the outside, the moon’s delightfully basking you in its pale light as you head for the next building.

It went smoothly to get to one place to the other. You encountered a minimal amount of people, none that knew you and thankfully left you alone. And most important of all, you didn’t run into Ghost. That was what you feared the most. Not knowing how to behave around him after what had happened. For the last couple of hours you had contemplated wether to act like the way you felt, hurt and ashamed, or if you should do the most professional thing in these circumstances; act like nothing had gone down between you, like his soft brushes against your shivering skin hadn’t culminated any raw desires deep within your innocent and tender heart.

Which might turn out to be kind of hard since you share a few friends with him, especially a certain Sergeant Kyle Garrick. Kyle was the one who showed you the ropes the day you transferred to this base, he took you under his wing and made you feel at home ridiculously fast. The amount of compassion and benevolence that man carried was unmeasurable, he always went out of his way to be there for everyone and he never let you down. Without him this place would have been unbearable your first year when no one else seemed to have taken an interest to you to become a friend. You were so goddamn grateful for Kyle, you’d take a bullet for him no questions asked.

He was also, unfortunately, a very close companion to Ghost since they came from the same taskforce, the 141. The bond they shared came from years and years of tough missions done together, some that lasted many long and torturous months. You’d never beat that, and secretly feared that if push came to shove and this whole situation with Ghost turned really bad, Kyle would pick the lieutenants side over yours.

No, you shake your head while exiting the last building, it isn’t fair to Kyle to wager which of his friends he’d choose. He’s too much of a good person to ever pick a side.

Instead, you focused on not slipping in the dewy grass behind the cafeteria. Tiptoeing carefully using the faint glow of the moon to see where you’re stepping. Some moisture from the grass makes its way through your thin sneakers, annoyingly dampening the bottoms of your socks. This is the downside of behaving like some stupid spy on a mission, opting for the outside terrain instead of the inside where proper flooring is; you get to suffer a bit.

Above the double door was a twinkling lightbulb barely covered by the metal lampshade, the bulb having a steady rhythm of being on and off. For such a large and well money supported military base you’d think they’d invest a bit more in keeping functional lights. You let out a scoff, rolling your eyes and pulling the door open. Its hinges creaks from apparent disuse and neglect, no one goes through these doors regularly. And that’s why you slow down the opening of the door, to dull the sound and keep noisy ears from being tempted to see where the shrill sound came from.

Hot air from the overhead ac blew on you, making you toasty again after being outside in the colder temperature.

The room you entered was just an antechamber that led to different hallways. The one you’re walking towards leads you straight to the where the vending machines are. Past a few other rooms designed for the soldiers and others on this base to leisure in, and by the distant reverberating sounds they are all pretty much occupied.

You were aware of this, that people would hang out here, and have already doubled up your speed to sneak by unseen.

The clamor of a group loudly laughing at something had you slow down to a normal pace. One laugh stood out to you, it was the rich voice of Kyle.

Shit. If Kyle’s there, then the rest of taskforce 141 are also probably hanging out in the rec room with him as they tend to stay together.

There was no door leading into the room, just a wide gaping entrance that gives a panoramic view of the entire space.

Anxiety tugged at your heart, an inner voice telling you keep your head straight forward and keep on walking.

But curiosity of knowing whether the lieutenant was participating in the pastime or not made you falter your step into a creeping shuffle. Just one quick peak inside before anyone can catch you spying and your curiosity will be sated, you tell yourself. The lewd action of something way too close to stalking was thrilling all the while you were chewing on the inside of your cheek in nervousness.

Standing right next to the entrance and out of sight, you gather some courage and wipe your sweaty hands on your pants.

Steadily leaning forward while holding a grip on the wall, you survey the small crowded room. Twenty people at least, occupying every seat that can be found including ledges of tables and some down on the ratty carpets.

Scanning all faces, you find the one whose voice you’d picked up earlier; Kyle. The carefreeness oozing from him as he lively holds a conversation with a man you don’t recognize while taking a swig from a beer bottle. A warm smile forms on your lips at the sight, seeing him at ease and enjoying himself after the intense mission he came from last night makes you happy.

Happiness that’s extinguished like a light when your eyes catches the sight of Ghost.

You feel sick.

He is standing in a corner, leaning up against the wall next to a girl you can’t remember ever having seen here before. She’s very pretty and it’s abundantly clear that she is heavily flirting with him. Standing close, arching her body and seductively tilting her dainty head while bearing her neck to him, like an offering. An offering that he seems to consider as he’s not outright rejecting her advances nor trying to make any moves to escape the interaction.

The view has you difficulty swallowing, mouth suddenly bone dry as your blood punishingly pounds throughout your tensed body.

Taking a step back, you blink in confusion. Why are you having such a strong reaction at seeing a woman fluttering her eyes at Ghost. You hate the man, hate his guts and everything about him. He’s a bully. You should feel relief that his attention might move on from you and to another woman that he can harass.

So, why do you want to throw up when Ghost tips just an inch closer toward her while holding her heated gaze.

Damn his balaclava that covers his face so you can’t make out if he is smirking or not, accepting her advances or not. The only things visible are his hooded eyes. The same brown eyes that once were pointed to you.

You don’t want to accept that you’re feeling rejected. As if you’ve been in some sort of situationship with him and now been thrown aside like garbage and replaced by a newer and prettier toy.

You detest Ghost. He shouldn’t have the power to make you feel like this. You absolutely hate these disgusting emotions that he’s provoked. The rollercoaster of fear and humiliation, and the feelings you don’t want to admit to, the odd infatuation that’s he enchanted you with and how special you felt that someone paid you any attention. Especially, a guy like him who’s known for being stone cold unattainable and rejecting all forms of approaches.

Lost in your musings, your eyes stayed too long on Ghost and he noticed you. His fierce brown eyes flicked towards yours so fast, as if he’d know all along you’d been watching him.

You gasped, stumbling backwards in surprise.

Did he knew you were spying in him all this time?

It felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been poured on you, making your heart drop into your stomach as you fast-track it out of there not sparing a single second for him to burn you with his heated stare.

[castdust]

⤷ wish that i could !

yn, a part-time barista, and daniela, a busy university student, have never crossed paths despite frequenting the same cafe. their schedules have always kept them apart--until finals season at ADMU forces daniela to adjust her routine. as late-night study sessions and caffeine cravings bring her to yn's shift.

⤷ playing disturbia by rihanna

07. ready, get set, go! + written (1057 words)

daniela stared at her notebook, the words swimming before her eyes. the diagrams, formulas, and highlighted paragraphs were supposed to help her ace her upcoming exam, but all she could think about was the tweet she’d seen minutes ago. her phone, face up on her desk, displayed the tweet from race radar: “live bike racing” It had been retweeted by one of her mutuals. daniela had stopped scrolling the moment she read it, her heart skipping a beat.

yn. the girl she’d been texting for 3 days now. the girl whose voice she’d never heard. the girl she danced with according to yoonchae. the girl that took her home safely. daniela wants to see who this yn is since manon and lara kept blabbering about her, so why not get a glimpse of that face. abandoning her reviewers, daniela shoved her books aside and grabbed her jacket and car keys. she knew exactly where the race would be—the abandoned park, where the ferris wheel lights cast long shadows. she tucked her phone into her pocket and headed out.

the sound of revving engines hit daniela the moment she turned onto the main road by the park. the area was alive with activity. bikes lined the edges of the street, their chrome gleaming under the faint moonlight. people milled about, some shouting bets, others clustered in groups, laughing and talking loudly. the energy was electric.

daniela’s eyes darted around, scanning faces. she didn’t know what yn looked like. they’d never exchanged photos, and daniela hadn’t dared to ask. daniela felt a pang of nervousness. what if she missed her? what if yn saw her and decided she wasn’t worth the trouble?

but she had come this far. she couldn’t turn back now.

yn adjusted her helmet, the snug fit comforting against her head. her bike roared beneath her, vibrating with barely-contained power. she glanced at her friends, who were lounging near the start line.

“you sure about this one, yn?” yunjin asked, arms crossed as she leaned against a parked car.

yn smirked. “when am I not sure?”

“alright, but I heard yeonjun’s been tuning his bike all week. he’s gunning for you this time,” jake added, twirling a set of keys around his finger.

“yeonjun can try,” yn said, her voice calm but laced with confidence. “he’ll still eat my dust.”

jungwon laughed, shaking his head. “cocky as ever. just don’t crash. you know we’re not carrying you home if you wreck.”

“you’d miss me too much if I did,” yn shot back, grinning.

minji snorted. “just focus, yn. everyone’s watching tonight.”

everyone. the word lingered in yn’s mind. she has a hunch that daniela might show up. she didn’t know why she felt so certain. and if she was here, yn wouldn’t know—not with the crowd this big.

she shook the thought away. 

first, she had a race to win.

daniela pushed through the crowd, her heart pounding. she caught sight of the racers lining up, their bikes sleek and dangerous. the engines roared louder, signaling that the race was about to begin. she craned her neck, trying to get a better view, but there were too many people.

“ready!” a voice called out, amplified by a megaphone. the crowd surged forward slightly, the excitement palpable.

“get set!” the bikes revved, crowds shouting.

“go!” daniela’s breath hitched as the flag dropped. the bikes shot forward, a blur of color and sound. the crowd erupted into cheers and shouts, the collective energy almost overwhelming.

she couldn’t tell which racer was yn. her eyes darted between the bikes, each one leaning into sharp turns, tires skidding dangerously close to the pavement. the race was brutal, with competitors jostling for position, but one bike stood out—a black and silver one, sleek and fast, cutting through the competition like a knife. whoever was riding it was incredible, taking risks that made daniela’s stomach twist but never losing control.

yn’s focus was absolute. the world narrowed down to the road ahead, the wind in her face, and the sound of her bike’s engine. she could feel the other racers on her heels, but she didn’t care. she leaned into a sharp turn, her knee almost grazing the ground. the crowd blurred past her, their cheers distant and muffled. all that mattered was the finish line.

she saw yeonjun in her peripheral vision, trying to overtake her on the inside. yn smirked and gunned the throttle, her bike surging forward. the finish line was just ahead, and she wasn’t about to let anyone steal her victory.

with a final burst of speed, yn crossed the line, the black and white flag waving in her peripheral vision. the crowd erupted into applause and cheers as she slowed her bike, pulling off to the side.

daniela watched as the race ended, her heart still racing from the intensity of it all. the black and silver bike had won, but she couldn’t see who the rider was. people swarmed around the racers, congratulating them and snapping photos. daniela hesitated. should she try to get closer?

before she could decide, the crowd shifted, and she lost sight of the black and silver bike. frustrated and overwhelmed, she turned and began weaving her way back through the throng of people. she didn’t want to stay too long; the longer she lingered, the more she felt like she didn’t belong.

yn pulled off her helmet, running a hand through her sweat-dampened hair. her friends were already making their way toward her, grins plastered on their faces.

“you’re insane,” jake said, slapping her on the back. “i thought yeonjun had you for a second.”

“not a chance,” yn replied, smirking. but her eyes scanned the crowd, searching for a familiar face. she didn’t see her.

“looking for someone?” hanni asked, raising an eyebrow.

yn shook her head. “nah. just thought i saw… never mind.”

daniela slipped away from the park, her thoughts swirling. she hadn’t seen yn, but she had felt her presence in the roar of the engines, the thrill of the race. she clutched her phone tightly, wondering if she should text her. but what would she say? that she had been there, somewhere in the crowd, cheering her on without even knowing it?

instead, she drove back to her dorm and called it a day.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ masterlist next

a/n: so ateneo to boomland is 21km (49mins). damn dani, just to see yn race ?!

taglist: @gtfoiydlyj @saysirhc @artrizzler19 @jellaaa @taikabui @spongebobtentacles @hwonnrinji @sunshinez4

[dat-town]

the things we see in souls

Characters: Hyunjae & female reader

Setting & genre: Alchemy of Souls au, fantasy, childhood friends to strangers to lovers

Summary: It’s been 10 years since you last saw Jaehyun. Now seeing him again is like meeting a stranger. But what if his arrogance is only a mask to hide his scars and affection?

Warnings: canon-typical violence, monsters, blood, wounds, scars, Hyunjae is quite cocky, verbal and physical abuse from his father, wording/mannerism is not historically accurate, arrange marriages are a thing here, mutual(?!) pining

Words: 10.5k

Author’s note: spin-off to the things we lose in fire but can be read on its own, even without seeing the kdrama too

@lily-blue a year and half later but here it is. i had just as much fun writing this as the Sunwoo one, so i hope you'll enjoy it too. (also see how it's almost 11k?) wishing you all the best for this year too from the other side of the world! <3

It had already been 10 years since you last saw Jaehyun.

You had both been on the verge of turning from careless playful youngsters to the type of adults your parents had wanted you to be, so he had been taken to the capital of Daeho to be trained to be the best mage of your generation under his uncle’s care while you stayed back in the Seoho Fortress to learn about the medical use of herbs to the best of your abilities.

In your memories he was all mud and carefree laughter, mischievous pranks like pulling on your braided hair but a helping hand when you had to climb over walls too high. You had been kids, all innocent and not knowing better, so why is it that now, finally grown into the young woman your parents could be proud of, you feel childlike excitement just thinking of seeing him again. It must be nostalgia, you tell yourself, it cannot be because of those gossips that had made their way down the sea all the way from the busy city to the forest-nestled town of yours.

Jaehyun had certainly gained a reputation. Son of a trade company owner nobleman and nephew of Seo Yul, Jeongjinrak’s leader. The Seo family from the Seoho Fortress might not have had blue royal blood in their veins but they were relatives of the former Queen, so they were treated as such. Rumors said Jaehyun acted like every bit of a prince, all spoiled and self-confident, even though he hadn’t grown up in a palace. They said that he was handsome and one smile of his could sweep a dozen girls off their feet. They also gushed about him being able to master Chisu, the ability to divide and control particles of water already despite his young age.

It sounded like he had gotten quite a bit of attention and it made you nervous. You could only hope that he would still remember you after all these years, that he would recognize you despite how you shredded your youthful features.

You let out a shaky breath as the carriage crossed the capital city walls and you stuck your head out to see the lively market and the cramped buildings, the ladies walking around in colorful skirts and the jewelleries and sweets sold by elderly at wooden stalls. The sight made you smile and you tried to familiarize yourself with your surroundings, your new home. Soon enough busy roads turned into a path through green forest until you reached the high gates of Songrim. You could practically feel magic crackling in the air as the guards opened the protective doors via a magical key to let the carriage inside the mage district of the town. It was the largest and most powerful mage society of the country led by the Park family and it was an honour that you were chosen as its medical institute’s new apprentice.

“You must be Y/N. Welcome to Sejukwon Infirmary,” Lady Heo greeted you kindly as soon as you got off the carriage and she instructed the staff to take your luggage to your room before she invited you in for a meal. While you listened to her introduce the place to you, you couldn’t help but glance down the bumpy road continuing towards Jeongjinrak and wonder what Jaehyun was doing.

Jaehyun was actually not in Jeongjinrak at the time.

Even though mage scholars were strictly advised to stay inside Songrim and only leave for the city if absolutely necessary, especially after curfew, he had long figured out how to tweak the rules in a way to benefit him. Not to mention, nobody dared to stop him as he was the nephew of Jeongjinrak’s leader. Good thing Seo Yul was busy enough not to check on him too frequently. Otherwise he might have scolded him for sneaking out, not that it would have hindered the guy’s advances much, not unless news of his behaviour reached his father’s ears. But since Seo Yul was his mother’s younger brother, Jaehyun doubted that the man would tell on him, especially not to his father.

So it was more of an open secret that Jaehyun and his friends would make a weekly visit at the Chwisonru Courtesan House to indulge in food that wasn’t brought inside Songrim walls, drink rice wine and entertain the ladies regardless whether they were courtesans or ladies sneaking out just like they did. They were all very much interested in the daily lives of mages even if it wasn’t that exciting, especially since the last of Jinyowon’s escaped monsters had been captured. So maybe Jaehyun made up some stories that earned surprised gasps and impressed wows from the enthusiastic audience. He couldn’t really help it, the urge to stand out, the need to be watched and admired was in his blood. Ever since he was a boy, he had been expected to achieve grand things. Anything less was simply not allowed. Being ordinary would have been a disappointment, a fatherly slap well-earned.

So even if it was all just temporary, his company bought on golden coins, their attention on him only for the thrill and free drinks, it was better than nothing, better than never being good enough. At least the insincere compliments and expensive alcohol on his tongue made him feel less miserable, even if only for a night.

“Is it really true that Kim Sunwoo saved you when the nail-eating mouse was on loose?” One of the girls asked, giggling, clearly having had too much wine with how red her cheeks were and how loose her tongue became. Jaehyun’s hand clenched firmer at the cup in his hands and his mood immediately turned sour as he slowly guided his unimpressed gaze to the silly girl.

“I didn’t need saving. Much less his,” he told her, tasting bitterness in his mouth as his thoughts wandered back to the festival which had turned into chaos due to the shapeshifter monster. If it wasn’t enough that he was apparently no match to the boy born with the Firebird’s energy and his equally annoying priestess sweetheart, rumours about what had happened that night had spread quickly. Way too quickly for his liking even though nobody really confirmed what happened.

“Let’s go. I lost my appetite,” Jaehyun stood up quickly followed by Juyeon and Younghoon without question and he ignored the protests at the table as he left a bag of coins behind.

Outside the night air was still warm from the stuffy day but the cold breeze against his face was welcomed. The journey back to Jeongjinrak would have been much faster with horses but they didn’t bother with them mostly because on foot it was easier to go unnoticed as they slipped in and out through a secret door of the walls around Songrim, their footsteps hidden under the plant litter. They had walked on this route countless times and never got caught, so Jaehyun was taken aback when under the moonlight he heard his name called from the porch of Sejukwon.

“Jaehyun? Is that really you?” The female voice sounded again when he turned towards its source. He briefly glanced at his companions to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating but both Younghoon and Juyeon looked just as bewildered as he felt. He could see Juyeon’s hand move to his sword by his side too as the figure leapt towards them carrying an oil lamp with her.

Jaehyun squinted on instinct when the bright yellow light came closer and prying his eyes open, he saw your flushed face. For a moment, he thought that he must have been dreaming because it couldn’t be you. You were supposed to be miles and miles away. And yet, he would have recognized you anywhere without a doubt. That golden sparkle in your eyes and that cute mole under your eyes. Even if you had grown up, even if it had been a decade since he last saw you, he knew that it was you.

“It’s really you. Good. I thought I was imagining things,” you chuckled in such a carefree manner that for once Jaehyun found it hard to speak up. His chest was burning when he saw that you lifted your hand to curl your fingers around the illuminating medal hung on a silver thread around your own neck, a matching pair to his, hidden under his undershirt. Even without checking, he knew that it was also lighting up, signalling your closeness and suddenly his throat felt dry under your watch.

“Hyung? Who is she?” Juyeon asked tentatively, breaking the silence before it could have stretched too long, his hand still on the handle of his sword and Jaehyun wasn’t sure what to tell. What were you exactly? An old friend? A stranger? A daydream?

He gulped before a smug grin made its way over his lips almost out of habit.

“Probably just another girl obsessed with me,” he shrugged and shared a laugh with his friends before looking back at your stunned figure. He could see the hurt in your eyes then the way it slowly morphed into anger, your hand letting go of the medal, letting it fall against your chest.

“So you really did change,” you hissed, disappointment clear in your voice, before shoving the oil lamp against his chest harsh enough to cause a little pain with the metal digging into his skin. Your eyes looked all gold and fierce from that close, just with the lamp between your bodies and Jaehyun had to remind himself to breathe once you turned on your heels and ran back to the infirmary’s building.

“Woah, you really should be more careful not to anger half of the women population in Daeho,” Younghoon noted while he turned down the path and Jaehyun snorted as his fingers curled around the handle of the lamp.

“What can I say? It’s my charm,” he forced a laugh, following his friend but he couldn’t help but glance backwards, wondering what you were doing in Songrim of all places.

However, soon enough he became occupied with other problems because  his uncle was waiting for him in front of his room when they eventually got back to the Jeongjinrak dorms.

“You got a letter from your father,” Seo Yul handed over a yellowed envelope, the wax of their family seal unbroken in the middle, once Younghoon and Juyeon scurried into their own rooms after polite and apologetic bows.

“Huh, then he didn’t forget I exist?” Jaehyun muttered under his nose as he took the envelope, waiting for his uncle to say something else, maybe to tell them off for breaking the rules but the man just patted him on the shoulder and told him to get a good night's sleep before his footsteps turned down the hallway.

Jaehyun broke the seal and read the letter about his father’s visit once before throwing the paper into fire to burn until nothing remained from his words, nothing but ash.

You didn’t even know who you were more angry at: Jaehyun or yourself.

Sure, you didn’t expect him to welcome you with open arms as if you were still best friends but the way he treated that night felt like a slap. It would have been bad enough if you believed that he really didn’t realize it was you and this was how he treated every girl but you were sure that he recognized you. Otherwise his eyes wouldn’t have zeroed in on that medal you shared, your farewell gift from ten years ago so you would find each other later. It felt naive now, you felt naive and stupid, hoping for something that never stood a chance, something that only existed in your fantasies. But was it really that wrong of you to hope that he also treasured your time together and kept you in his good memories? At least he was still wearing his piece of the twin medals but maybe that didn’t mean anything. Was he perhaps disappointed when he saw you and that’s why he was so quick to deny your past? Gosh, no matter how much you tried to tell yourself that it didn’t matter, that you shouldn’t have cared, Jaehyun’s conflicted face when he saw you kept haunting you.

“Y/N, careful! The potion is boiling,” Lady Heo reminded you and you snapped out of your thoughts to focus on the cauldron of herbs in front of you before it could have overflown and caused serious burns.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, trying to get your footing again, focusing on your tasks instead of letting your thoughts wander off like they had done ever since that accidental encounter with your childhood playmate and partner in trouble.

It certainly didn’t help that apparently Jaehyun was the talk of the town. Whenever you went out to the market, you heard girls’ whisper about Jeongjinrak students, about Jaehyun’s visuals and whether it was true that he kissed girls breathless in one of the upstairs rooms of the courtesan house. You weren’t even jealous, just annoyed because you couldn’t go anywhere without hearing his name and being reminded of how he had treated you.

No wonder you weren’t exactly delighted when you were asked to join the head lady of the institute on her weekly visit to Jeongjinrak with new supplies but you convinced yourself that the chances of meeting Jaehyun would be low. It was just a quick drop by after all and you were supposed to meet only Seo Yul and nobody else. The institute’s leader was older than his nephew and his features were somewhat softer but you could see the resemblance between him and Jaehyun, especially because you had known his sister, Jaehyun’s mother too.

“Y/N. You have grown up nicely,” he smiled at you kindly as he welcomed you even though it hadn’t been so long since you last met back in Seoho Fortress when he had visited.

“Thank you,” you bowed your head politely before helping Lady Heo pack out the supplies from the bag to the storage room where the man accompanied you. You thought that would be it, you certainly didn’t expect him to ask you about his nephew.

“Have you had a chance to meet Jaehyun?”

“Uhm,” you hesitated, fingers freezing around vials of immunity serums. “No. Not yet,” you lied eventually because no matter how angry you were at Jaehyun, you didn't want to get him into unnecessary trouble.

Seo Yul looked like he wanted to say something else like how you had been close as children but eventually he just nodded and let you finish up quickly without mentioning Jaehyun again. It was a relief, really, because you weren’t sure how many questions it would have taken for you to snap.

You certainly felt close to saying something unlady-like when you caught a glance of the guy anyways while leaving the grounds of Jeongjinrak.

He was walking the opposite direction with a few others, their hanboks in different shades of blue sweeping the ground, carrying an air of confidence and magic with them. Some bowed towards you and Lady Heo without stopping and you did the same, although you couldn’t help your gaze from shifting to Jaehyun’s tall and proud form. His hanbok was the darkest of blue, almost like the midnight you met on. It was lined with silver, just like the double swords on his back. In daylight he looked even more handsome with his fair skin, small nose and delicate features. It was unfair how he had grown up to look like a prince and you wondered whether it was part of the reason why he acted so arrogant. The twin medal burned against your skin as your eyes met briefly and you refused to be the first one to look away knowing that he still wore its pair. But Jaehyun’s eyes were dark and emotionless as he walked away. The burning sensation disappeared with him but the heaviness in your chest didn’t ease up.

You certainly didn’t expect him to seek you out on his own after that but apparently Jaehyun was full of surprises. Literally because you had decided to put the stupid necklace into a wooden box inside your bedside table instead of wearing it as a constant reminder of how little your past friendship, you, meant to him. This way the mage could sneak up on you without you noticing his closeness until you turned around and almost dropped the glass jar from your hands. You let out a surprised gasp when taking a step back in order to avoid bumping into him, you stumbled, almost losing your balance, and if it wasn’t for Jaehyun reaching out to hold onto your waist, stabilizing you, you would have surely made a mess. For a moment too long you were frozen in place, his closeness and touch on you rendering you speechless. He really was nothing like the little boy that lived in your memories. His broad shoulders and the secure hold on the small of your back told you stories of countless practice hours and his eyes now lacked the carefree spirit he had as a kid. 

“Let go of me,” you mumbled, both flustered and frustrated, brushing his hand off you with your empty hand. You quickly stepped away and put the jar onto the shelf, busying yourself with checking the others already there. You were just stalling, since you didn’t want to be the one asking Jaehyun why he came. You doubted it was because he felt bad.

“Y/N…” He called your name way too gentle for your heart but you refused to soften so easily.

“Oh, so you do remember me,” you snickered in a mocking tone as you turned towards him but kept your distance. It was just the two of you in the herb room and it was bad enough. Terrible because for the first time since that night encounter two moon phases ago you saw something akin to guilt flash in Jaehyun’s dark eyes before he casted them down but maybe you were just seeing things. “What? Were you embarrassed because of me in front of your new friends? Am I not worthy to be in your circles now?”

“It’s not that,” Jaehyun rolled his eyes but you did not appreciate the gesture.

“What is it then?” You huffed, crossing your arms in front of your chest as if that could be a defensive layer between him and the wild beat of your heart because it wasn’t fair. He wasn’t being fair. He ignored you, he denied knowing you and now here he was refusing to tell you why.

“What are you doing here?” He asked instead, deflecting, as he looked around in the herb room, gingerly touching a bowl of cream you were working on before he showed up. His attitude was seriously pushing your limits.

“Really? Not even a ‘how have you been’?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “I should be asking you that because I actually work here. Becoming a healer has always been my dream. Or did you forget that too?”

It felt good, jabbing back at him a bit, trying to make it hurt but it was a losing game because this new Jaehyun was nothing like the boy you once knew.

“Can you stop that?” He snapped, frustration leaking through his words and it made you temporarily content, to be able to trigger an emotion in him. It only egged you on.

“What? Reminding you that you were acting like a shitty friend?”

“We’re not friends anymore,” Jaehyun corrected you sharply, keeping his voice quiet and cold.  It silenced you immediately, leaving the room in a tension so thick you could barely gulp. You tried not to show it but his claim hurt more than you would have thought. Maybe you were indeed the only one who treasured your childhood adventures after all.

“Right,” you whispered, voice barely audible, staring ahead aimlessly. You felt something uncomfortable lodged in your chest, something heavy. “Why are you still wearing the necklace then?”

There was no way for you to know that he actually wore it even now without having yours on but based on Jaehyun’s reaction, the way he blinked rapidly, he did.

“I…” He opened his mouth to answer but then closed it without actually elaborating and suddenly you were really tired of this argument. At the end of the day it didn’t matter whether he wore it for sentimental reasons or out of habit. He clearly didn’t think of your connection as fondly as you thought so, hence it was useless to entertain any idea like that.

“Nevermind,” you sighed, wanting to get over it, wanting him away. “What do you want?”

Jaehyun took a moment too long to answer, seemingly mulling over something, but before you could have sent him away for taking so long, he cleared his throat and pulled his fingers across the wooden edge of the desk by his side, a nervous habit of his that apparently he couldn’t shake off since childhood.

“Do you know about the upcoming lunch between our families?”

“Yes, of course. Why?” You hummed because your parents had promised before you had left Seoho Fortress to visit you soon and your father had mentioned that he would like to meet Jaehyun too, to see what kind of man he had grown up to be. Back then you had been excited, happy for the excuse to see him more, for your families to spend more time together just like in the good old times.

But now that you have talked with the guy and how had been treating you in front of his friends, you weren’t exactly enthusiastic about attending but it wasn’t like you had any other choice. Jaehyun seemed to share the sentiment, albeit you weren’t sure about his reason. Not until he added:

“It’s supposed to be an engagement discussion… about us.”

“What?” The shriek leaving your mouth was definitely louder than what you intended but you couldn’t help it. Even the idea of Jaehyun’s claim was ridiculous. Sure, you were at the age to be married off but your parents never really pressured you. They knew how important your medical journey was to you and they supported you without forcing suitors on you. So what was the sudden change of heart? And with Jaehyun of all people? Was it why they allowed you to move to the capital in the first place? Was it all planned?

“My father will propose uniting our families. Just thought you would like to know,” Jaehyun shrugged as he averted his gaze to the open book on the table, his nonchalant behaviour unnerving you even more so. You circled the table until you were across from him and slammed the book closed, successfully earning his attention.

“How are you so calm about this?” You questioned, eyes boring into his. He looked unfazed, almost bored as if he was talking about the weather but you had noticed how his fingers twitched by his side, how he gulped when you leaned closer.

“It’s just an engagement. A lot of things can happen,” he said and the implication behind his words brought burning shame down your spine because you hated how vaguely and nonchalant he spoke. Did he hope that his parents would change their minds and break it off? You knew his father enough to know that there was no sentimentality in his decision, that it wasn’t about the closeness you have had as children. It was most likely because his father had heard about the new success of your father’s shop’s spice and herb export and as a businessman in trade he saw it beneficial. But business could change as fast as the wind.

It left your chest with a hollow feeling that Jaehyun seemed so unbothered about it.

“Just?” You echoed his voice, hating the way your heart skipped a beat at the thought of getting engaged with him before you realized how little he probably cared. It was almost worse than if he had openly hated the idea. “So what? Will you still go back to your courtesans with a ring on your finger?” You blurted out without thinking, without realizing what it would reveal to Jaehyun. He caught on to it too fast though.

“Are you jealous?” He asked with a teasing lilt in his voice, edged with arrogance and a hint of surprise dancing in his eyes like flames. Looking at him suddenly burnt.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you muttered in a smaller voice, lowering your eyes.

“Am I?” Jaehyun asked, taunting. He leaned forward, balancing himself over his hands on the table, coming so close that you had no choice but to look him in the eyes. Those dark deep pools devoid of childhood playfulness. The mischief in them now was a little mean, a little too serious. “You had an obvious crush on me when we were fifteen. Shouldn’t you be happy?”

Taken aback, you took a sharp inhale, eyes widening at the realization. You had no idea that he had noticed, that he knew that you had been halfway in love with him when he had left. He never said anything and now you were left wondering whether this was the actual reason why you hadn’t met in the last ten years. The betrayal of it tasted like heartbreak on your tongue but you tried to keep as much of your pride as you could.

“Sure. My fifteen year old self would have happily married her best friend but like you said, we are not even friends anymore, we are practically strangers,” you reminded him as deliberately as you could while pulling away, putting some distance between you, so you wouldn’t feel his closeness burn you even without touching. You really couldn’t tell whether your words meant anything to him at all, even if they did, he didn’t show signs of it. “You should leave.”

To your surprise Jaehyun didn’t argue but of course he had to have the last word.

“See you at the weekend, Y/N,” he said as he straightened his back and you refused to look as he turned his back on you, leaving the room as swiftly as he came almost as if he wasn’t there. He left nothing behind, just the turmoil in your heart.

To say the least, Jaehyun wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing his father again. No wonder he so rarely visited home despite his mother’s nagging. Time and time again his father reminded him that no matter what he was doing, it could never be enough and while Jaehyun knew that his father’s inferiority complex when it came to his mother’s royal relatives or how he couldn’t get a seat in the Unanimous Assembly wasn’t his problem to solve, its cruelty was still deeply integrated in his bones.

The young mage wore his best clothes made from fine silk material and delicate embroidery, its color the exact blue his mother favoured, as he stepped into the holiday mansion where they were supposed to meet. He schooled his expression into an emotionless facade and raised his chin high up, proud and confident, as he followed the servant to the pavilion where the lunch would be served. He greeted his parents with a deep, polite bow when he reached close enough. He avoided his father’s eyes while his mother rushed up to him, putting a hand onto his cheek asking if training was hard on him.

“It does him good. He cannot get lazy,” his father interjected before Jaehyun could reassure the woman and he eventually reluctantly agreed. He hoped the attention would shift from him to other matters as he sat down but he should have known better; his father couldn’t miss out on berating him. “I heard you mastered Chisu recently. Took you a while. You should try harder.”

Jaehyun gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to remind his father that it was a rare skill to have at his age, that in Jeongjinrak there were only a handful of students who could master it by the end of their studies at all.

“Yes, father,” he muttered, fingers clenching around nothing in his lap under the table.

“You better not embarrass me today in front of Ryu Bookmin. We need their alliance,” the man warned him and Jaehyun gulped. He could practically hear your voice echo in his ears asking whether it was really just an engagement to him. The truth was: it wasn’t even that to his father, it was just business and Jaehyun knew that he could change his mind any moment. It made no sense to think too much into it.

“Yes, father,” he repeated like a diligent son would because that was the least Jaehyun could do. Growing up he had been constantly reminded that if he wasn’t the only son of the family, his father would have long kicked him out for being the disappointment he was. Just because his birth constellation, that had been dusting on a shelf in Cheongbugwan, wasn’t too promising, because it didn’t foresee him living a dazzling future. Since being average was punishable, Jaehyun had learned early on to cheat if he couldn’t get first place without it. Even if his father never once told him that he was proud of him no matter what he achieved.

Jaehyun let out a relieved sigh when your family was announced by a servant, putting an end to his humiliating conversation with his father. He stood up from his chair, eyes kept on the lavish table until he heard your approach.

The pulsating warmth from the necklace he wore was missing this time too just like the last time he had seen you and he hated how much something so insignificant could bother him. Jaehyun lifted his eyes at your figure after greeting your parents politely and his breath got stuck in his throat indeliberately.

Based on your previous encounters he could already tell how nicely you had grown into a young woman, all pretty and lady-like and while he had found an almost sick pleasure in making you blush last time, he hadn’t fully realized just how breathtaking you were. With your pink-lilac hanbok, similar colored ribbon in your hair and lips slightly reddened, you had never looked more beautiful. And yet, a part of Jaehyun liked that version of you that had messy strands of hair out of your braid hanging into your face, cheeks flushed and eyes burning with something fierce when you looked at him angrily. It felt raw and honest and he hoped only he could see you like that. Maybe that’s why he blurted it out, that comment about your old crush on him, something he selfishly hoped you never forgot. He wasn’t even sure why he brought it up. He certainly didn’t plan to, but you were so defensive, so clearly worked up by the idea of getting engaged to him that it just slipped out. He had always liked teasing you after all, even as children, even if this time around it wasn’t that much of a joke.

“Y/N… so lovely to see you!” It was Jaehyun’s father who greeted you first after exchanging a few overly honeyed words with your parents, putting you into the center of attention. “How is work treating you at Lady Heo? If it’s hard, we can put in a word for you. She’s family, you know.” 

What a not so subtle reminder that the Lee family was just as related to the Heo one as the king’s via the Seo blood and she was practically working for one of their own. So typical. Jaehyun tasted bile in the back of his throat.

“That’s exactly why we’re reassured that she’s in good hands,” your father commented all fawning but Jaehyun kept his eyes on you, watching your expressions closely. You never looked his way and he could tell that it was on purpose, probably because of your last conversation. Still, he could see the slight frown on your face behind the forced smile.

“I’m glad to hear that. Maybe we can soon bring our families closer officially too?” His father noted, again not so subtly and both parties chuckled before the food was served to eat.

While the meal itself was quite nice, much nicer than what Jaehyun could get himself at Jeongjinrak or the courtesan house where he frequented, he found it hard to swallow. Based on how little bites you took, maybe you felt the same.

Your parents, mainly your fathers, talked about the journey to the capital, the new trading roads near Seoho Fortress and mentioned both of your studies. They also exchanged opinions on how big of a havoc the monster attacks caused and Jaehyun’s father couldn’t help but blame Songrim’s leader. Despite the neutral topics, Jaehyun could see that your posture was still as rigid as his.

“The world is such a dangerous place,” your mother shuddered when the rise of black market trade for cursed objects was on topic before putting a hand over yours, patting it gently. “It’s a relief that Y/N has an old friend here in Songrim. I remember how keen on Jaehyun had been to protect our daughter even when they were kids. Like that time, when that antique vase was broken, he took all the blame.”

Jaehyun forced himself to smile at the meant-to-be compliment despite clearly remembering the beating he had gotten from his father that day. It had been better that it was him than you.

“I owe up to my mistakes, madam,” he said, his throat scratchy.

“A responsible young man,” your father noted and Jaehyun could see where this was going. Knowing about it beforehand didn’t change much about his ambivert feelings regarding the matter.

“I’m glad you think so, Ryu-nim, because we would be happy to welcome your daughter into our family. We all know how fond of each other these two were as children and now they are both of a marriageable age, so maybe it’s time to let their fondness flourish,” his father got straight to the point in that ridiculous vague language he tended to use in his business meetings too.

“I couldn’t have said it any better. Let’s drink to that,” your father suggested and as the youngest ones at the table, both of you and him hurried to pour rice wine into the elders’ cups as they started talking about your future as if you weren’t even there, as if your opinion didn’t matter. Jaehyun had already known it wouldn’t, however not even him would have guessed that instead of a long engagement or at least waiting until he finished his mage studies, his parents would want to hold the wedding during the next lunar month as it was said to be a lucky one.

Wide eyed, he snapped out of his own surprise when he heard the creaking sound of a chair moving against the floor and he whipped his head towards you.

“Sorry, I don’t feel too well,” you mumbled and Jaehyun could see the tremors in your hands as you smoothed down the hanbok material before bowing and turning around to walk into the garden.

“Aw, she must feel faint from the sudden news. All this excitement, it’s only natural,” your mother chuckled and Jaehyun couldn’t tell whether she really believed it or she just said it so the Lee family wouldn’t think that you were being rude.

He barely hesitated though before excusing himself from the table to follow you. He found you by the pond, out of your parents’ view with a hand over your heaving chest.

“Y/N…” He called your name gently, trying not to startle you but you still looked taken aback when you turned to him, looking him in the eye for the first time that day.

“You heard that, right? They want us to get married next month,” you spoke in disbelief and while Jaehyun himself wasn’t exactly thrilled either, he wasn’t sure which aspect of it bothered you the most. Was it too soon? Or that you had no say in it? Or that it was him?

“Yes, because of the angle of stars or whatever,” he shrugged because he wasn’t in the position to protest, there was nothing he could have done to change his father’s mind. If anybody, his father would have beaten his own ideas into his head.

Jaehyun had always known he could never fully shake off his father’s control over him but keeping his distance and doing his best to avoid his anger, he could almost forget about it. He would have never expected that when the day of marrying him off came, it would be you of all people on the other side of the table. It made it easier to act docile and yet, it was breaking his heart. You deserved so much better.

“We haven’t seen each other in ten years, you say we aren’t even friends, but you’re really okay with this?” You questioned, frustration building up both in your voice and movements. Jaehyun half wished you would hit him, then he might have felt less guilty about dragging you down, into a family where his father would judge and belittle whoever was by his side.

“It’s not like we have that much of a choice now, do we?” He asked, keeping his voice leveled, standing still and rigid even when you pushed at his chest.

“I hate it,” you hissed harshly and helplessly, sounding sad and mad at the same time and Jaehyun let you punch his chest to relieve your frustration. He deserved your hatred. “I hate it because I will live in a mansion like this but I will be miserable because you will hate me for trying to tie you down.”

Oh, you were so wrong.

“I could never hate you,” Jaehyun whispered as he put a hand over your closed fist against his chest and held it close. With his other hand he reached out and tilted your head up by tapping your chin, so he could look into your shiny doe eyes. You were unapologetically honest, so he could be too. “Look, Y/N, if I have to marry somebody my father chooses for me, I’m glad it’s you.”

It was selfish, so selfish and ironic, because he had been running away from this for the last ten years. This was the reason why he never said anything about your all too sweet lingering gaze when you were younger. The reason why he never went back to see you. He could see his father’s influence on himself, he could almost feel it tangible beneath the rebellion and pressure in the way he enjoyed winning over others, in the way his main motivation was his own greed and he was afraid that he would become like him one day. And what he feared the most was treating you of all people like his father had done with the people around him.

Moments passed and you seemed calmer, your breathing stabilizing, your fingers unclenching under his touch, all warm and lovely, and Jaehyun thought that maybe things would be alright.

“It’s not that big of a compliment as you think it is, Jaehyun,” you sighed, pulling your hand away and somehow his heart ached missing your touch. “I don’t want you to accept me since I’m good enough. I want you to choose me.”

You had fully intended to walk away after that, after blurting out what exactly had been bothering you about the whole situation. After baring yourself in front of Jaehyun like that but when he had called your name, of course you had halted your steps like the weak girl you were.

“You should wear the necklace,” he had simply said and it shouldn’t have made your heart flutter. It was just a stupid necklace after all but still, it connected the two of you in a way no engagement could.

And here you were sitting over some prescription medicine you were supposed to work on at Sejukwon but your hand was playing with the medal on the long string around your neck and your mind was swimming in memories of that last afternoon. You had walked back to the pavilion after you had left Jaehyun by the pond, blaming the heat and the tightness of your dress for the uncomfortable feeling in your chest but expressing how much of an honour it was that they thought so highly of you. You hadn’t acted up, hadn’t said no because at the end of the day Jaehyun had been right: it wasn’t like you had much of a choice. No matter how much you yearned for love and romance, you were your parents’ dutiful daughter and if they bestowed a practical marriage upon you, at least it wasn’t with a stranger. Your feelings for Jaehyun might have been complex, old infatuation festering, a new wariness forming because he was acting cocky and confusing but you knew that he wasn’t a bad person. 

The sound of the siren bells ringing ripped you out of your thoughts and you rushed outside to see what was going on. It was the capital’s emergency alert for any attack and like medics on call, Lady Heo and the others quickly got ready to go to the scene with supplies.

“You stay here in case somebody comes for help, we’re going to tend the injured,” the woman said before she left with the servants for the town, towards the source of the sound.

You couldn’t do anything but wait and it was nerve-wracking like no other. You walked up and down the porch, trying not to think of the worst, of the possibility of Jeongjinrak students being dispatched to the scene as well only to get hurt by whatever enemy they faced.

When you noticed a limping man approaching the infirmary, it pulled you back to the present, quieting your worries temporarily. You rushed towards the man to help him but you stopped in your tracks just a few steps away when you noticed that something was off about him. You had never met a soul-shifter before as it was an illegal dark practice of spirit magic but you immediately recognized the symptoms of a soul-hungry shifter with their cracked, discolored skin and darkened veins.

A scream was scratching your throat as you turned on your heels and ran back towards the house, this time with the soul-shifter behind you, grabbing at you. You almost fell when you ran up the stairs of the porch but managed to keep your balance and put some more distance between you before you reached the food storage room next to the kitchen and hid inside, closing the door behind you. With your heart beating wildly in your chest, you had to put a hand over your mouth to suppress your shaky breaths, any sign of life as you heard the wooden floor outside creak beneath the monster’s weight.

A few long moments passed and you thought that maybe he had left but then a knife cut through the door, breaking it down little by little and you couldn’t hold your screams back as you were afraid for your life. You tried to look for some kind of weapon in the small space around you but you came up short while the door was turning less and less of a protective layer between you and the man every second. His hungry eyes and manic grin was already visible through the cracks within the wooden material.

Then out of nowhere your chest started burning with a comforting warmth and the criminal was ripped away from the door.

“Stay there, Y/N,” you heard Jaehyun’s firm voice and you felt like you could have cried from relief but then a moment later worry hit again as you heard noises of scuffle, pained groans and curses.

Just when you couldn’t take it anymore and opened the door, a dishevelled Jaehyun stepped inside the kitchen. He was in front of you at record speed, his sword dropped at your feet as his hands frantically touched your face, looking for injuries.

“Are you okay?” He asked, still panting, dark eyes raking over you after his hands slid down and he held you by the arms.

“Yes, I… I am. Thank you,” you whispered and Jaehyun’s tensed shoulders slumped in relief.

You were unharmed but the earlier shock still kept you alert and that’s how you noticed the bloody spot spreading on the mage’s blue hanbok near his stomach area where it was torn.

“You are hurt,” you pointed it out dumbly, trying to process what you were seeing without panicking. 

“It’s fin–” Jaehyun tried to protest but you weren’t having it. You pushed him to sit on the nearest surface and that alone made him hiss.

“Take it off,” you told him with urgency in your tone while clawing at his hanbok, not even thinking about the implications of it until Jaehyun laughed no matter how stained his voice was.

“If you wanted me to undress so badly, you could have just said so,” he tried to joke while shredding off the overcoat layer, grimacing at the pain when he flexed his stomach muscles with the movement. 

“Shut up,” you snapped at him, flushed all the way down to the ears and impatient because he was taking too long, you reached for the tied ribbon of his silk shirt to undo it. As its two sides fell apart you could see just how much blood soaked his white undershirt. With a lump in your throat you bunched up the material in your hand and pulled it upwards to actually see the wound but then Jaehyun circled your wrist with his elegant long fingers and stilled your movements.

“Y/N,” he called your name more affected than you would have ever thought he would. It made it harder to look him in the eyes but you pushed down the embarrassment and looked at him. His eyes seemed almost feverish. Was it maybe from the blood loss? “Let me do it.”

He eased his hold on your hand and you let go immediately to run off to fetch some clean cloth, a bowl of water and pain numbing cream. By the time you made it back, Jaehyun was sitting where you left him in only his pants with his bloody clothes in a pile next to him. His bare chest was all golden skin and taut muscles under the dangling necklace and you had to remind yourself to breathe, to focus.

You cleaned the area around the wound to get rid of the drying blood. The wound itself wasn’t too deep luckily but it was a long and ugly cut from a knife, so it would definitely scar even if it was treated immediately.

Both of your hands were bloody and trembling by the time you finished dressing the wound, so you didn’t expect Jaehyun, who had been uncharacteristically quiet until then, to touch you, much less intertwine your fingers with his, making you look up at him.

“I’m glad you are okay,” he said, thumb caressing your palm, the touch so intimate you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

“How did you know?” You asked, not clarifying what you meant but he understood anyway.

“I didn’t. I just wanted to check on you to make sure you were okay,” he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world and you wanted to scold him, tell him not to make your heart flutter if he won’t be there to catch you when you fall.

You pulled your hand out of his hold gingerly and washed the blood off your hands in the bowl of water you brought before, then told him that you would bring him a clean shirt as the infirmary kept some for situations like this.

When you got back, Jaehyun was with his back to you and stepping closer, your eyes widened at the sight, a choked sound nearly escaping your mouth. His lean form was a field of scars, mostly old, whitened criss-cross ones but a few long thin lines looked new and pink. You had treated people from Jeongjinrak before, so you knew it wasn’t from school punishment, not to mention Jaehyun was from a noble family, so nobody would have really dared to lay a hand on him, not like  this. Nobody but his own blood.

“Jaehyun,” you whispered, voice breaking even before getting his name out, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

He looked over his shoulder halfway ready to face you but you didn’t want him to turn around and see you like this, so you put a hand gently on the upper side of his back to stop him. You leaned your forehead against his shoulder with your eyes closed and inhaled in his smell, tracing an old scar with shaking fingers for a while without saying anything..

“I’m so sorry.” Sorry for not knowing, for not being there, for being too self-centered to even consider his side during arguments.

When Jaehyun moved, this time you let him, facing his chest, hand sliding to the necklace in its center, the medal warm under your touch just how it was against your own rib cage over the layer of your hanbok.

“Y/N,” Jaehyun slid a hand to your neck just under your jaw, thumb grazing against your chin as he tilted your head up.

Your breath hitched when your eyes met. There was something vulnerable and soft in his usually mischievous or cold eyes, something rare like a precious gem. You could feel its weight pressed against your chest, his touch eliciting a yearning you hadn’t known before. You could feel heat radiating off him as he stepped dizzyingly close and the way his heart was beating under your palm. Your eyes fluttered closed when his lips touched yours, softly at first, barely there, then when you hummed against his mouth, he pressed in closer, almost hungry like he had been holding back for eons.

“Well, that was way too easy, Lee,” Kim Sunwoo said, unimpressed but clearly intrigued about the reason behind the quick win, as he held out a hand for Jaehyun on the ground. The older just rolled his eyes, swatted his hand away and pushed himself up, his ego more hurt than the wound on his side and his bottom that hit the hard floor of Jeongjinrak’s practice room, so he suppressed a hiss.

“His head is elsewhere,” their teacher noted and Jaehyun would have rather not talked about it. His thoughts were definitely not in that room. They were a few miles West, in a messy kitchen where your hand was on his bare, burning up chest and you were melting against him.

“He’s still recovering, let him be,” Younghoon interjected, ever the peacemaker.

“Right, our hero,” Ji Changmin just had to fake coo which made Jaehyun want to throw something at him.

The soul-shifter’s recent attack was the biggest news lately, so everybody was talking about it. About how the monstrous man had caused havoc in the town square and then had headed towards Songrim because its magic had been pulling him in. Jaehyun had already heard multiple versions of how and why he had shown up at Sejukwon to save the new apprentice but he didn’t bother correcting them. At least his father seemed satisfied with his reputation for once.

“Keep it up, Ji, I can take you down any day, even injured,” Jaehyun warned the boy sternly before their teacher decided to call it a day.

The mage students started packing up, going back to the dorms, calling dibs on first shower rights. Jaehyun walked alongside Juyeon and Younghoon like he always did but his mind still went back to the infirmary and to gentle, tentative touches against his skin. 

“So Chwisonru tonight?” One of his friends suggested, clueless, and Jaehyun didn’t even give it a thought.

“I can’t. I have to go to Sejukwon for bandage change,” he declined as if the two activities were mutually exclusive. He couldn’t help it. It would be the first time he saw you after that day. After Lady Heo had showed up suddenly and whisked you away to help with the new patients not caring about what she interrupted. After you had looked back at him with kiss-swollen lips and blown eyes while following the woman. After three long days of stupid bed rest thanks to his overprotective uncle’s orders.

So when he unexpectedly saw you on Jeongjikrak grounds while passing through the inner court to the dorms, Jaehyun had to blink to make sure he wasn’t just seeing things and it was really you. But it was, even the medal pressing over his heart confirmed. He halted his steps, following you with his eyes as were carrying a box and Lady Heo was nowhere to be seen. The mage’s lips were twitching into an amused smile when unaware of their presence you not so subtly looked inside the main building through one of its windows.

“No offence, hyung, but it seems like you’re the one obsessed with her, not the other way around,” Juyeon chuckled teasingly, a shoulder bumping into him at his sudden stop.

Whether it was a coincidence or you heard them, the next thing Jaehyun knew was that you turned around and noticed them, awkwardly bowing in their direction with the box held close to your chest. He didn’t waste any time and changed the course of their path, walking up to you, followed by the others like always. Good, because he wanted to introduce you properly.

“Y/N, these are Kim Younghoon and Lee Juyeon,” he nodded towards his two friends respectively, which you followed with another polite bow even if your confusion was clear on your face. Then he stepped forward and took the box from your hands, his fingers brushing yours before turning to his equally confused mage friends.  “Guys, she’s my fiancée.” 

“What?!”

“When did this happen?”

The reaction was immediate. Juyeon and Younghoon gave voice to their surprise out loud while you widened your eyes and looked at him like you couldn’t believe your ears. It was quite funny if you ask Jaehyun.

“I will walk you,” he looked at you, ignoring his friends’ eager questions and teasing comments in favor of spending a few minutes alone with you now that he accidentally crossed paths with you. You looked like you were about to protest but the guys took the hint and left first after politely saying their byes.

“Fiancé now?” You raised an eyebrow in question when it was just the two of you and Jaehyun’s face lit up with a cheeky grin.

“Aren’t you?”

“Who are you and what did you do with Lee Jaehyun? Did that soul-shifter get you eventually?” You narrowed your eyes at him but he could tell based on your lips curling up that you actually liked this side of him, the one not trying to push you away. It was clear from the way you smiled when you turned away from him, walking towards the storage room, letting him follow you with the box.

He caught up with you easily, arms grazing as you walked side by side. Jaehyun didn’t say anything and you seemed content with the silence as well until you reached the building where his uncle and Lady Heo were discussing something. You faced him then, asking for the box back and the guy couldn’t miss the opportunity: he let the wooden object be the only thing between your bodies and leaned down close enough to see you blush prettily.

“See you later,” he promised with a cheeky grin and pecked you on the lips just because he could and because you couldn’t really reprimand him with your boss a thin wall away and hands full after he let go of the box.

Jaehyun was pretty satisfied with himself, thinking that he got you wanting more after giving you that little taste, before retreating back to the dorms to take a shower, explaining briefly (only the very must) to his friends about his relationship with you and then headed towards Sejukwon before sunset. He even sat through an unnecessarily long small talk with Lady Heo before the woman told him that you were in the herb room, so he could find you there. The closer he walked, the warmer his chest got and this time he wasn’t sure that it was because of the medal or something else. When he eventually saw you hovering over some purple flower, trying to extract its pollen, he leaned against the doorframe with a smile that made its way onto his face just by looking at your concentrated expression, that adorable pout on your lips he wanted to kiss off.

So when you finally straightened your back, closing the lid on the little jar on the table, he pushed himself away from the doorframe and hugged you from behind, looking over your shoulder. Even though he couldn’t see your face clearly from this angle, based on how easily you relaxed in his hold, he was sure that you expected him to do something like this after sensing his presence. The thought that you might have wanted him close just as much made him feel dangerously content.

“What’s with you for real?” You asked with a chuckle but quickly made sure he knew it wasn’t an objection as if you were afraid of hurting his feelings. “I’m not complaining, it’s nice… just unusual.”

“Can’t I be sweet to my fiancée?” Jaehyun teased because it might have become his new favourite word. You didn’t seem that impressed by his sweet talk though.

“Jaehyun,” your tone turned almost chiding as turned in his embrace and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

The mage student sighed deeply. He knew your confusion wasn’t baseless because up until that day the most affectionate thing he said was that he was glad you weren’t hurt and that he wouldn’t have minded marrying you instead of somebody else if he had to. And then he kissed you without explaining anything about just how long this feeling had been brewing in his heart. But words weren’t his forte, not like this, and he shuddered just at the thought of admitting outright that he missed you and that he wanted you close.

On the other hand, it was you. You who had seen his scars, both physical and not, and still held him close. You who had seen him as a snotty kid and still wanted him after ten years of cruel silence. You with your shy smiles, fierce eyes and gentle touches. If it's for anybody, he could make an effort for you.

“That day when the soul-shifter attacked you,” Jaehyun started with a gulp, not even wanting to think of your screams that he had heard and that fearful look in your eyes. “I was going crazy thinking what could have happened if I got here too late and I realized I don’t want to lose you. Not again.”

Your eyes widened at his admission and a pink hue blossomed on your cheeks before concern took over in your eyes.

“But… What if your father change‒”

“I don’t care. I’m done letting him control my life,” Jaehyun cut you off with a determination he hadn’t felt in a long while. If his father wasn’t happy with him even with him trying his best not to anger him and follow his wishes, then how worse it could be if he actually started doing what he wanted?

Jaehyun reluctantly let go of your waist to reach into his hanbok and pull out the necklace matching yours and put it onto your palm, closing your fingers around it, so you could feel it pulsing in your hand almost as if it was his heart.

“Remember when you asked me why I’m still wearing the necklace you gave me?” He inquired and when you gave him a small, curious nod, he continued: “It’s like keeping a part of my old self, not forgetting who I really am, and I have missed being who I can be with you.”

You smiled so sweetly at his words, your pretty doe eyes filled with so much care and acceptance, that Jaehyun felt like his heart could burst not being able to contain this fond feeling taking over him. It came to him almost like a crushing ocean wave.

“You know how members of the Seo family have a part of their souls kept in a lantern in Seoho Fortress for safekeeping, right? I left mine there before coming here. But Y/N…” He whispered, lowering his eyes to look at your smaller hands in his. Gentle, caring hands that touched him like he was something worthy and loveable. He took a deep breath and looked into your beautiful eyes. “I would give it to you if I could. If you accepted it… me.”

You let out a small sob with wet eyes and Jaehyun couldn’t help a laugh.

“Hey, come on, don’t cry,” he reached for your face to wipe off the escaping tears softly with the pad of his fingers. “Is it that bad?”

“No, it’s…” You shook your head hurriedly and reached for his wrist to hold, his heartbeat loud in his vein against your thumb. “I love you.”

Jaehyun’s breath hitched as he stared at you dumbly, not knowing what to say. So he tried to express what he felt with the way he slowly slotted his lips against yours in a soft kiss. When you smiled against his mouth, he copied the gesture, endeared, and pulled you closer. But as your hands fell to his sides, he tensed up from the pain shooting into his wound and something so small made you pull away immediately as if you couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him.

“I should change your bandage,” you cleared your throat, and you surely meant to be professional now that you remembered the original purpose (excuse) of his visit with that weak attempt of yours to put some distance between you but Jaehyun wasn’t having it.

“Later,” he shook his head and leaned in again but you ducked away with a giggle.

“Jaehyun!” You gasped his name half-scolding, half-giggling.

“What? It hurts here, maybe a kiss would help,” he tapped on his lower lip with mischief clear in his eyes and oh how victorious he felt when you let your lips touch again.

In a world full of monsters and black magic, corrupt politics and business matters overruling feelings, he couldn’t promise you forever. But one thing he knew for sure: his soul, even bare and ugly, was safe in your hands and he would do everything in his power to treasure yours.

[kalren-daelish]

A Monster's Abode

Kal'ren stood on the borderlands of Eversong and the Ghostlands, his figure cloaked in shadow. The hood of his cowl masked his face, blending him seamlessly into the forest around him. His attire, once a warrior's armor, now resembled the garb of a rogue—silent, unseen, always watching. In recent years, this had become his way: lurking in the periphery, following the same path, and shadowing the same figure—not out of malice, but out of compulsion.

As Kelz’thalas B’andtherion departed the city and took the cobbled road winding through Eversong, Kal'ren fell into his silent pursuit. He moved from tree to tree, his claws raking softly against the bark, his wings propelling him silently over gaps in the foliage. He kept to the shadows, careful to remain unseen should she glance back. Her safety drove him—a notion as futile as it was obsessive. She was a skilled fighter, her blade and presence enough to ward off any threat. Yet he could not stop himself. His every instinct remained sharp, his demonic senses attuned to any danger that might threaten her.

And still, the sting of memory lingered, sharper than any blade.

He saw her face, was contorted with rage, her voice trembling with emotion as she lashed out at him. "You have done enough! And the only thing you can do is get out of my life! Go away and leave me alone! I don't need you or anyone!"

Those words had become a wound that never healed, echoing in his mind like a curse. They urged him to stop, to let her go and turn his eyes elsewhere. But he could not.

Because with the pain came the memories: their childhood laughter ringing through the courtyards, the shared dreams and whispered ambitions that once bound them so closely. Now, the bond felt like a shackle, unbroken even as the chasm between them grew wider.

When Kelz reached the iron gates of her home, Kal'ren felt a fleeting relief as they closed behind her. She was safe. His vigil ended, as it always did. He turned back toward the city, his thoughts heavier with every step.

By the time Kal pulled back his cowl, the weight of the whispers and stares had already settled upon him. Demon Hunters were no longer seen as heroes in this age. Their time had passed, and now they were relics of a dark era—feared, resented, and unwelcome. But Kal endured it all, his gaze fixed on the crumbling silhouette of his family’s estate.

The house, once a symbol of grandeur, stood in decay. Cracked marble, flaking paint, and a garden overrun with weeds betrayed its fall. The once-proud House Dae'lish had become an empty shell. Its halls, once bustling with attendants, now held only silence, broken by the voices of two broken souls: his parents.

Kal pushed open the door, the rusted hinges groaning under the strain. Inside, the house was no better. The walls were bare or adorned with fading remnants of what had once been priceless art. Treasures had been sold, one by one, in desperate bids to stave off ruin. Yet, despite their sacrifices, the family continued to sink further into poverty.

He made his way to the study, where his mother sat near a dwindling fire. Lady Serendiel Dae'lish was a shadow of her former self, her gown frayed and faded, her once-regal beauty now a hollow mask. She stared into the hearth, unmoving, her voice a sharp contrast to her lifeless demeanour. "Our son has returned," she said, her tone laced with bitterness.

A drunken shout erupted from the kitchen. "Our SON?"

Lord Eryndar Dae'lish stumbled into the room, disheveled and reeking of alcohol. His green robes, once elegant, were now stained and tattered. He held a half-empty bottle, its contents sloshing as he staggered toward Kal.

"Our son has returned!" he slurred, mockery dripping from his words. He leaned closer, squinting as if to recognize the figure before him. Then, with cruel theatrics, he sneered. "No... this isn’t our son. This is a monster."

Eryndar staggered closer, the acrid stench of alcohol and unwashed flesh forcing Kal to endure the proximity. The older man’s voice turned venomous.

"The monster who ruined us," Eryndar snarled, his words sharp and slurred. "The monster who traded our future for cursed horns and claws. who sacrificed his family’s prosperity for his own selfish ambitions." With speed betraying his drunken state, Eryndar’s hand shot out and gripped Kal's chin. "You disgust me, boy. Disgust me." His gaze flicked to Serendiel, who remained unmoving. "Even now, he fawns after that B'andtherion who—"

Kal’s claws snapped up and closed around his father’s wrist, the tips of his sharpened digits piercing skin. "Don’t," he growled, his voice low and trembling with restrained fury. "Don’t you dare call her that".

The pain caused a brief cry of pain but was then clouded with more anger. Eryndar spat at him, defiant even in his drunken haze. "The cruellest irony," he rasped, "is that you still pine for her—Adonis’s daughter, who sees you as nothing but a beast. How does it feel, boy? To love someone who looks at you with disgust, who despises you more than your own parents who you have cruelly wronged."

Kal’s jaw tightened, the guilt and pain coiling in his chest like a serpent. He released his grip and moved his hand to wipe away the spittle.

Eryndar’s voice rose, bitter and mocking. "Do you not see, boy? She hates you. Adonis ruined us because of you. You destroyed everything we were! They..." he pointed towards the wall as if the B'andtherion estate were standing there in its stead, "...are our enemy. They decided we should starve while they feast. Yet you shadow her steps, blind to the truth."

Kal’s voice was a low growl, heavy with emotion. "I chose to fight. To defend our people while you hid within these walls" he paused, quelling the dark urge beneath his skin, "I am sorry my actions brought our family to this point, but I do not regret my choice."

Eryndar laughed bitterly, cradling his bottle as he sank to the floor. Serendiel’s voice broke through the tension, quiet and resigned, "I miss the dancing..." His father then took another drink and fell back to his elbows as he stared daggers at his son. "Sorry is not enough." Then silence. The scene had always played out the same each day. And each day Kal'ren was silent to the callous words thrown at him. He would turn away and step out of the study, back into the hall and up the stairway to his bedroom. The room, like the house, was barren. He lay down on an old carpet that served as a bed and stared at the ceiling. The memories, the guilt, and the whispers of his parents' despair haunted him. Yet, in the darkness, a single thought flickered like a dying ember: Tomorrow, he would see her again. @kelzthalassunwhisper

[fidelixcorde]

Draco understood. The flare in his eyes, the way his hands on her tightened a little before he moved to have them sit down at the table, he understood. He had been trusting her every step of this path, and now they were facing a fork in the road, and for once, Taylor was unsure of which way to go.

Something wasn't right.

Not for the first time, Taylor thought of Harry's death, but instead of imagining how he had fought back and still died by the cruelty of a man who was a shell of himself, she found herself wondering if maybe she herself had no led Harry to his death by her own hand. She had been so careful, she knew that, but the dreams she'd been having...

Shortly after the lynx Patronus vanished, Kingsley and Moody arrived. They both blinked to see Draco, but otherwise said nothing, and Tonks placed the pot of Devil's Snare on the table, causing Moody's magical eye to swivel to stare at it. "What's this?" he growled.

Tonks glanced at Taylor, before looking to her mentor. "The Death Eaters sent Boderick Bode a clipping of Devil's Snare, in order to silence him permanently. I guess his treatment is doing better than they realized possible."

That brought a stillness to the room, a certain chill, and Kingsley let out a slow breath. "And how did you find out about this plan?"

Tonks, Sirius and Draco all looked to Taylor, who was watching a bug crawling across the floor against the wall. After a long moment, she raised her eyes to stare down the Aurors with a hard, blazing look. "I dreamed it."

Something's not right.

From any other person, in the Order, in the DA, in all the wizarding world, those words would have made Draco scoff. He'd have snidely asked some where they got that flash of genius, especially if it was someone who knew that Riddle was back. Of course something wasn't right, nothing was bloody right.

But from Taylor? No, that was alarming. That was terrifying. Draco moved woodenly to sit beside her on the bench, no longer able to take his hands fully off of her, needing the grounding comfort of knowing she was there. Beside him. Safe and alive.

If Taylor was scared, with her foresight and her quick reactions and her constant confidence, then Draco knew they were in trouble.

The immediate hedging around the point from Sirius made his jaw clench, matching Taylor's frustration even if he wasn't caught up yet on her full anger. When she invoked Harry's name, both adults looked pained, and Draco exhaled through his nose.

"We are short on time," he said succinctly. "I can't stay long, they think I'm off having a nice day with Pansy. Sirius, I hate that this is how we cousins are all connecting, but the fact is, this is not the first round of Riddle's war. Back then, he thought he was untouchable and you lot were able to do a lot more behind the scenes, under his nose."

He took a breath. "But this time he's mad, and I mean that both as rage and insanity. I wasn't in that graveyard but I've heard him tell the story with relish enough that I can describe to you how your godson died, and trust me, there was no respect for him being a child of fourteen. Now Umbridge has been placed at Hogwarts with the same disregard. We are children in number alone. In reality, we're on the frontlines almost more than you Order folks are. We need to know."

There was a flare of white light, a lynx darting into the room in midair, and Kingsley's voice came from it. "On the way. Arthur released today. Having the twins intercept them."

Draco snorted a laugh. That was fair, Merlin knew if Molly walked in on finding out that any of the "kids" were insisting on information, she'd blow a gasket.

[hpdfag]

i need to ramble hold on. spawns in a cut so that people dont get blasted by unfiltered posting on their dash. i feel the need to disclaim that im only like 50% lucid right now so this might be disorganized or complete word salad i can't really tell right now

i love him so much it feels like it's consuming me from the inside out. i don't want to do anything that isn't for him. the only reason i haven't quit my job is because i want to make him proud of me. even playing games makes me guilty, because i know it's not with him. i married harvey in stardew. i ate the stardrop for getting 12 hearts as i kissed him. the taste reminded me of hinata. it's a strange irony.

this false body feels like it's trapping me, keeping me from achieving my true metamorphosis. there are streetlights glimmering in the distance. as i try to move towards them they always fade away. the morning will come in 7 hours and 43 minutes and the sun will rise and it won't blind me awake. i'm not reverent enough.

i should pray. not to jesus, not to any other false prophet. i should pray to Him. maybe that will bring me salvation? maybe that will free me from this hell? maybe it happened because i was unworthy of being one of his trusted apostles. if i was as holy as he was it would have been different, i would still have been beneath him but i would have served my divine purpose as his servant.

but that's not important. i dont think. im jor sure. i hate it. i hate Him. i feel like i should Worship him. there's a certain something i still havent fixed a glitch in my code i need ocean breeze summer sun beach sand shining brilliance he's perfect i need him i need warm sun and dry land i need to be with him on the floor i need to hold him i need need need need need need need.

more than air more than food more than clean clothes more than water more than anything else more than i need this terrible mortal life i need to become worthy for him of his love of his care of his touch i wont deny that i selfishly want him to hold me and touch me even though im unworthy even though im no more than dirt beneath him i desire him so deeply

[erigold13261]

Wait if DJ was on T, are they AFAB? Or just took T?

Yeah, they were AFAB and thought they were a transman for a lot of their life until about mid to late 30s when he realized he more comfortable and happy identifying as nonbinary and using he/they pronouns.

[rowanhoney]

Ok I also explored where my bisa and my tío and my cousins lived. I’ve never looked at a map or had their addresses but I do have a good sense of direction and a freaky memory for layouts and I think I found everyone’s homes and you can bet I’ve been absolutely weeping about every single one

[hazellight11]

Yknow what sometimes it's okay to break down crying on the side of the road in the middle of a biking class. Good, even! I get a whole extra free afternoon each week and only lose half a PE credit once I drop the class!

[classyrbf]

THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE WOODS! — GETO SUGURU

KINKTOBER WEEK ONE

SYNOPSIS...walking home from a halloween party, you decided to take a shortcut, but an eerie feelings creeps up your spine and it feels like eyes are watching your every move

INFO...stalker!geto x fem!reader, for the sake of the story everything is consensual, a fantasy between geto and reader, stalking, groping, fingering, ripping clothes, sex in the woods, choking, hair pulling, oral (m!receiving), deep throating, rough, name calling, degradation, slapping, spanking, not proofread

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

kinktober 2024 masterlist

The wind howled in your ears and the moon was illuminating your every step home. You were cold, the costume that you had on was no help, shivering as you hugged yourself tightly. It was a stupid idea to go to a Halloween party without thinking of how you were going to get back home. Everyone was either drunk driving, or their cars were already filled with other passengers, and to put the cherry on top…your phone had died so you couldn’t call anyone to pick you up. You mentally cursed at yourself for staying so late in the first place, it had to be at least three in the morning. Everyone else was asleep and done with their trick or treating activities, lights off at every house in your sight.

“Fuck me,” you sighed, stopping when you came to a fork in the road. You took the left path knowing that it was a shortcut to your house and you didn’t plan on walking any longer than you needed to in these godforsaken heels. The wind brushed against your exposed skin, goosebumps climbing their way up your body. The further you stepped into the forest, darkness began to surround you. The large, twisted branches allowing very few rays of moonlight to shine through. Tall trees hovered over you, casting shadows. You’d be lying if you said this shortcut wasn’t one hundred times creepier at night compared to day.

Leaves rustled in the wind, branched snapped under your feet and you couldn’t help but look over your shoulder every five seconds to make sure no one was following you. It felt like eyes were watching your every movement, dark figures in the tree line stalking you like prey, waiting to pounce. “It’s all in your head,” you mumbled to yourself, walking faster. Though, your words were no help. Your eyes darted in every direction, barely paying attention to what was in front of you causing you to trip over a tree root sticking out. You fell to your knees, wincing in pain when you saw little blood droplet stain your stockings. “You gotta be kidding me,” you whined.

As you sat there on the floor trying to regain yourself, you heard a twig snap in the distance. With wide eyes, you got up as quickly as you could and looked around. “Hello?” You called out, your voice echoing through the forest. And just like that, you heard it again. Your feet moved before you could even think and you began to run as fast as you could in the shoes you were wearing. It would be better to take them off but you couldn’t stop now.

Your breathing quickened with each passing second and just a few feet behind you, you could hear footsteps. Fear struck your heart and you could only focus on the clearing up ahead. You weren’t sure if you were imagining it or if it was some animal, but you weren’t going to stop and check. Something didn’t feel right and that’s all you needed to know to get your ass out of here. The clearing was only so close now and your chest burned from the cold air that filled your lungs. Your heartbeat thumped loudly in your ears and the pain from your busted knee dissipated from the adrenaline rushing through you.

The streetlights came into view and just before you could make it, you felt a hard tug on your dress, a rough hand pulling you back into the darkness and covering your mouth as you screamed into it, squirming around in his tight grip. Each kick and punch to his body didn’t do a thing and the clearing soon began to grow smaller. “Shh, shh, shh.” His breath tickled your ear. “Don’t be scared,” he whispered. He pushed you up against a tree, slowly appearing in your view. You couldn’t quite make out his face, but his tall silhouette, muscular frame, and long dark hair was quite obvious. “Promise me you won’t scream? If you do, you’ll be in big trouble.”

Your entire body was shaking, weak. You had no idea what was going to happen. You didn’t know if he had a weapon, but you didn’t want to find out the hard way. He slowly removed his from your mouth, and let out a chuckle with how hard you were breathing. “Please don’t hurt me,” you sniffled, tears pouring from your eyes. You felt your body was glued to the tree, any sudden movement would make you drop. “What do you want? I don’t have any money…here,” you handed him your phone, “take it, it’s all I have.” More tears streamed down your face.

He looked at your phone with disinterest before looking back up at you. “Don’t you recognize me?” He questioned. You meekly shook your head no. “I guess I did a good job then,” he laughed. “I thought you noticed me but I guess not.” He brushed his hand against your cheek, wiping away your tears. “I was watching you the whole night. Watching you get drunk, dance with your friends, kiss random strangers, and I kept thinking how pretty you were. Ever since you walked in that door.” He gripped your chin tightly, leaning in closely in the crook of your neck.

You whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as he smelled you. “Please, let me go. I’ll do anything.” You weren’t sure if negotiating with him was going to work, but you were willing to do anything in order to just go home. But, he completely ignored you and continued rubbing up on you. His hands roamed freely, down your stomach and back, up to your tits where he gave them a squeeze. It wasn’t until he moved away from you that you saw some of his features. His chiseled face, and dark, narrow eyes, his slightly tan skin, and plump lips. His hair flowed with the wind, the leaves falling from above.

Within a split second, he pushed his lips onto yours, roughly kissing you, his tongue forcefully pushing inside your mouth. His hand wrapped around your throat, pinning you to the tree while his other hand reached under your dress to rub your cunt through your stocking and panties. You whimpered into the kiss, pulling away to catch your breath. “These are in the fucking way,” he grunted, ripping your tights with one hand. He pushed your panties to the side, smirking as he ran his finger up and down your slit. A small gasp left his lips when he could feel your juices coat his finger. “You’re wet. This turn you on? Being chased and caught in the woods so some stalker could fuck you?” His slipped his finger inside, watching the way your jaw fell open.

“You’re just as sick as I imagined,” he let out a deep chuckle, curling his finger inside of you before adding another. He still had you pinned against the tree with your legs spread, your dress bunched up at your waist while he thrusted his long, thick fingers inside of you. “You’re sucking my fingers right in.” A smirk formed at the corner of his lips, your pussy squelching the faster he went, your juices dripping down his fingers.

A small whine escaped your throat looking at the man in front of you. You weren’t sure whether to be scared or turned on. Maybe you were both. Was it wise to entertain this? That question ran through your head over and over. He leaned back towards your lips, hungry for another kiss, swallowing your moans and whimpers. Without thinking, your arms wrapped around him as your legs grew weak, nearly falling from how good his fingers felt inside of you.

His dick strains against his slacks, damn near painful from how hard he was. “Get on the fucking floor.” He slips his fingers out from inside you, pushing you down to your knees and against the tree. You look up at him confused before he sticks his fingers in your mouth, making you taste yourself on your fingers. He’s quick to undo his belt, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. Your eyes widen as his dick springs out, swollen red tip, and pulsating veins on either side of his shaft. Precum drips from the tip and he smears it over his cock, slowly jerking himself off to the sight of you sucking his fingers.

“Stick out that tongue for me, baby. Open up.” He removes his fingers from your mouth, grabbing a fistful of your hair before he slaps his heavy dick on your tongue. “Good fucking girl,” he sighs. He rubs his dick all over your face, slapping you with in, pushing it between your lips. He grips your hair tighter, pushing your head down onto his cock. “Fuckkkk,” he moans as feels your warm tongue rub along his shaft and your throat squeeze around him. You immediately gag as he goes further, eyes watering before you gag again, your nose touching his pelvis. “Stay just like that, don’t you fucking move.” He holds your head down for a few seconds before he lets go, allowing you to breathe.

You gasp for air, letting out dry coughs as he laughs at you. Strings of spit connect from your mouth to his dick, dripping down to his balls. His hand grips your hair again and you let out a pained whimper. “First time taking dick down your throat, huh?” He mocks you, stilling laughing in your face. You stare up at him with tearful eyes, wiping your mouth of all the spit. But before you could blink, a sharp pain spreads across your cheek, your head jolting to the other side. Did he just slap you? “Did I say you could wipe your mouth? No, no I don’t think I did. I like it messy, so get used it.” With force, he shoves his dick back in your throat.

You throat closes in around him again, gagging. Tears stream down your face as he fucks your mouth. Glug glug glug glug. You place your hands on his thighs in attempt to get him to slow down but he just goes harder, the back of head pushed against the tree and trapped between his thighs. He pushes your nose against his pelvis once more, spit dripping down your chin and from his balls. “Ugh, fuck! This throat feels so good!” His abs tense up and your eyes roll into the back of your head before he removes himself from your throat.

You’re coughing again, chest heaving up and down while you sit there on your knees trying to catch your breath. “Please, I can’t, my throat hurts.” Your brows furrow.

He grips your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “Someone’s gotta teach you how to suck dick properly, baby. I don’t give a fuck if your throat hurts,” he harshly says. He slaps his dick against your face, smearing your spit all over. “Come on, impress me.” He stares down at you with those dark eyes. You’re quick to understand that he wants you to suck his dick yourself. “Remember, I like it messy.”

Both hands wrap around his cock, jerking him off as you move your wrist in a circular motion, taking the rest of him in your mouth. Your tongue swirling around his head, gathering as much spit as you could. You look up at him, taking him slightly further down your throat before coming back up. “That’s it, keep those eyes on me. Don’t you dare fucking look away.” He grits his teeth, eyes rolling back when you bob your head up and down his shaft. Your jaw grows tired, pulling away to give yourself a break, your hands still gripping his length.

Streaks of mascara stain your cheeks, your lip stick smeared across your lips. He reaches down to pet your face, admiring the view. He can see that your scared, but he can also tell that you’re enjoying this. It only makes him want to get your blood pumping more. “Make me fucking cum. Put it back in your mouth.” He places his hand on the back of your head, pushing it down, your throat accommodating to his size. “You’re such a quick learner. Taking it like a fucking whore.” He bites down on his bottom lip, thrusting his hips at a sharp pace. “Open up that throat. Come on,” he growls.

You body jolts forward as you gag, your nails digging into his thighs as he pushes your nose against his pelvis. You can feel him twitch and pulsate in your throat and before you know it hot spurts of cum coat your throat. “Uh huh, fuck, fuck. Take it, baby. Mmmph!” His jaw goes slack, holding your head down until your slapping his thighs to breathe. Luckily, he lets you pull away after he drains all of his cum. You barely have time to recover before he’s snatching you back to your feet, spinning you around and pushing you against the tree. “Did such a good job sucking my dick. I wanna know if this pussy can do the same.” A swift slap to your ass makes you whimper, holding onto the tree for support while it scratches at your skin.

“Go slow, please,” you beg. You wish you would’ve never said anything because your words only added fuel to the fire. It’s been a while since you’ve slept with anyone and slipping him that piece of information made him do the opposite of what you asked for.

“Go slow? Huh? No, no.” His hand snaked around your throat, pulling your back against his chest while he whispered in your ear. “I’ll do what I want with you.” He smacked your ass again, tearing off your panties and tossing them somewhere into the woods. “Say you want me to fuck you,” he ordered. You silently stood there in his arms, biting down on your bottom lip as you braced for whatever he was going to give you. “Say it!” He huskily whispered, rubbing his shaft up and down your sopping slit.

“Fuck me,” you meekly spoke.

“What was that, baby? I couldn’t quite hear you.” He kissed your jaw so softly, his other hand reaching down to toy with your puffy clit. He let out a blissful sigh as your moans, continuing to rub it in circles in such a teasing manner. “Say it again.”

“Fuck me, please,” you said a little louder this time. “Ah!” A yelp left your lips when he slipped inside, pushing his entire length in, the burning stretch making you wince. “Oh fuck!” You whined. His thrusts were brutal, his cock reaching your deepest points. His arm wrapped your torso, holding you up while simultaneously pulling you back on his cock. The sudden sensation of him inside you became so overwhelming, you couldn’t help but squirm in his grip.

The sound of skin to skin echoed through the woods and your lewd moans along with it. Ripples of pleasure shot through every part of your body. Your hands reached out for the tree, finding stability to hold yourself up. His breath shuddered against your neck, desperate moans and grunts filling your ears. “You’re so fucking wet—nnngh fuck!” He growled. His fat tip kissed your cervix with each thrust, tears pricking your eyes before spilling over. Suddenly, he slowed down his thrusts, going harder and slower, allowing you to feel every throbbing inch.

“Ah!” You squealed when he slammed his hips against yours, only to slowly pull back out again. Each hard jolt of his hips sent your body forward, your knees already ready to give out. “Ah!” You screamed in pleasure, reaching down to grip onto his forearm.

His hand shot over your mouth, muffling your cries and moans. “Go ahead and scream, baby. You think someone is gonna hear you? It’s just me…and…you.” Each of his words were punctuated with hard thrusts. You moaned into his hand, your eyes screwed shut. He could feel you clench around him, letting out a blissful sigh. He pressed against you, going as deep as he could and stayed there. A sharp gasp escaped your throat, eyes widening as you tried to move your hips. “You’re mine now,” he breathily whispered.

“Mmph! Mmmph!” As he began pounding into you again your eyes rolled back, feeling him in the deepest parts of you. “Please, please, please,” you cried, voice breaking through your tears. Your mind grew hazy, too clouded to even think clearly. His thrusts were so sharp, so animalistic. He roughly grabbed your chin, forcing it in his direction before planting a hungry, sloppy kiss on your lips. Both of swallowed each others lewd moans, gasping for air between wet kisses.

“You’re gonna cum, aren’t you?” He rasped, staring into your eyes. All you could force was a nod. “Yeah? Gonna cum all over your stalkers dick, baby? Do it. Give it to me. Show me how dirty you are.” He pressed deeper, your entire body trembling. The feeling your pussy pulsating around him only fueled him to go faster, his grip on your entire body tightening while you came. “That it’s—f-fuck!” His voice trembled.

Your entire body quivered with pleasure, high pitched whines spilling from your lips, barely able to form proper words. His brutal pace sent your mind into a spiral. Each greedy stroke sent him closer to the edge, his thrust growing sloppier and his thoughts growing dirtier, thinking of filling you up with his cum and watching it leak out of you. “Oh my god! S-slow down! Gonna cu—nnngh!” Before you could even say it, you were already cumming a second time, your orgasm ripping through your entire body and sucking the air of your lungs.

“Yes, yes! Cum on my dick. You’re gonna make me cum, baby. Fuck your self on my dick. Work for it.” He pushed your weak body against the tree, his chest rising and falling as you so desperately fucked him, throwing your ass back. He looked down, watching the way he disappeared inside your messy cunt, creaming around him and sucking him in. You circled your hips, moving back and forth, feeling your ass ripple against his pelvis. “Fucking work for it.” His hand swatted your ass several times, the stinging sensation that lingered on your skin making you whimper. “Atta girl. Right fucking there…shit, baby. Just like that, just like that,” he whined, reaching down to squeeze the plump flesh.

Low guttural groans collided with your moans, echoing through the lonely forest. He was so close to cumming, you could tell. His big strong hands took ahold of your hips as he pushed himself all the way inside of you. “Ah…oh fuck…mmph—s-shit!” He shuddered, hot spurts of cum painting your walls. You pushed back into him, biting down on your bottom lip, not wanting one last drop to go to waste. After several seconds, he slowly pulled out, trying to catch his breath. He forcefully grabbed you, standing you upright even though your entire body was shaking.

After coming down from your high, you realized you just fucked your stalker and let him cum inside you. Hell, you didn’t even know his name. Both of you stared at each other, eyes searching deep within. You were left confused, speechless. You flinched when he brought his hand up to your cheek, gently stroking it with the pad of his thumb. His eyes flickered down to your lips, placing the most gentle kiss on them—the most gentle one since you’ve met him. Yet, you found yourself kissing him back. “Who are you?” Your voice broke the silence, nervously scanning his features.

His lips quirked up into the slightest smirk. “Just the boy who saw you at the Halloween party.” From the very beginning he was never going to give you his name. “Your stalker.” He seemed to take pride in his words, now smiling at you.

You gulped, blinking up at him. “My stalker.”

taglist (closed):

@roronoaslover @skychapt-blog @prettylil-teine @freakadelick @adamaisfav @tadabzzzbee @ourfinalisation @marlenemckinnonsleftfoot @heliumshorns @ninani-nanina @blankwashed @sadkaomoji @tojis-ball-sack @blkpotionss @sunjayist @cryptxdslxt @aweebthatsjustthere @angelrulez21-blog @lemonintrovert21 @vertigoandvirtues @cloudxluv @kkataleena @eclipsi-shadow @sugusmonkeyy @greatwizardangel @cybersomn1a @screamlast9 @purpleheart835 @ramiiroll @purp1eha1o @veraiku @yu22tas @wrldtups @4evrglow @sugarsticksss @fos-tis-zois @lisvanrouge @asiancupid @bluejayreadsanddreams @sincerelyaixii @digitaltrippers @chuuminn @lolimmafuckings1mp @jellyfishlord @therealest06 @terminosdevozsauve @keanureevessmile @nekoxvi @starlightglimmersworld @m0nsterzl0ve

[bunnis-monsters]

NSFW

warning: yandere and obsessive behavior, mentions of death and violence, possessiveness

Yandere!Angel adored you with all of his heart, worshipping you as his goddess. He abandoned his creator, instead turning to you.

He kissed along your thighs, his strong, large hands holding onto your plump thighs as he spread them open.

He always looked up at you for permission, his chin resting on your leg obediently. Despite the fact he was nearly twice your height, he acted like a needy puppy before you, willing to do anything to please you.

“May I?”

You nodded, sighing happily as his tongue licked your soft, fat pussy, his fingers pumping in and out of you.

As he settled between your thighs, ready to worship his goddess, he began to remember how this all came to be.

He was supposed to be working on earth, helping guide humans to the correct path and keep them from sinning.

Instead, he ended up getting hurt, stranded on the side of the road with a broken wing.

He hadn’t been told how cruel humans could be.

So when you pulled over in your car, running up to him, he attempted to spread out his wings in a defensive display, his eyes shining bright enough to blind a man.

But his eyes dimmed and he yelped in pain as his broken wing moved. He fell back onto the ground, panting softly, looking up at you weakly.!

“Hey, hey…”

You knelt down, reaching out carefully to inspect his wing.

“Don’t touch me!”

You flinched, frozen in fear, his power causing you to be unable to move.

An angel’s command worked only on those pure of heart… so for a moment to examined you.

Soft and chubby with a kind face, like the cherubs he played with in heaven. As you did your best to bandage his wing, you noticed he was nearly twice the size of you… and very handsome.

“I won’t hurt you, I promise. See, it’s feeling better isn’t it?”

The angel watched you, his eyes wide with curiosity and wonder as you dabbed some soothing cream onto his swollen skin. You were being so gentle with him, guiding him back to your car.

The way you kept him flush against you, being as gentle as possible to make sure his wounds wouldn’t be irritated made him feel… strange.

He barely fit in your backseat, having to lie down so you could close the door.

“… thank you…”

He nuzzled softly against you, his undamaged wing flapping. “You saved me… you’re so kind, like an angel… like…”

You turned to see him staring at you, his eyes big. The golden orbs observed with newfound interest, watching as you grabbed a med kit to further clean and treat his wounds.

‘Like a goddess…’ he thought to himself, not daring to say such blasphemy aloud.

As he began to recover, you noticed him staring, following you with his eyes every time you moved.

“Need something?”

He quickly looked away, his cheek flushing a soft pink. His wing fluttered in both nervousness and excitement.

“I… don’t need anything.”

It didn’t take him long to heal, his body was different than any human or animal, but… he still feigned pain when you touched his now healed wing.

“Ah, it still hurts?”

You soothed him, letting him nuzzle into you and look at you with those big golden eyes. He was utterly entranced, wanting to worship and adore you… no one had ever been so kind to him!

So that’s how he ended up like this, begging for you to use him, to order him around and to let him love and protect you for all of time.

The only catch was… he was the only one allowed to worship the temple that was your body.

He pulled his fingers from your wet cunt, his tongue struggling to part with your puffy clit. It wasn’t easy, but he knew from your whines and tugging on his pants that you wanted his cock now.

And he would give you anything…

He pushed his cock past your wet folds, stretching you on him. The first time he worshipped you this way, he cried with you as your body tried its best to accommodate his large size. He hated seeing you in pain…

Your pretty, ample breasts bounced deliciously as he moved his hips, unable to stop himself from fucking you like a wild animal.

God you were perfect, his angel, his goddess… and no one would ever get to see the look of ecstasy on your face when you came.

A warm bath had you sighing in relief after, your angel happily bathing you, kissing your feet and scrubbing your body as gently as possible.

Though it was difficult keeping his jealously at bay… being with him wasn’t too hard. If only you knew how many men he had killed due to his possessive nature…

You’d never even think he was capable. He was an angel after all, with soft blonde curls and the prettiest, most innocent golden eyes.

And he wanted you to remain ignorant to his second nature. He much preferred worshipping you while you were relatively free and happy…

But he’d lock you up if it meant keeping you to himself~

The angel settled you down with him after your bath, covering you with his soft, feathery white wings. He kept you close to his chest, kissing your head.

Everything was just perfect.

For now…

(More?)

————————

NSFW TAGLIST: @sunset-214 @strawberrypoundtown @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @midromiell @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog

[lavandulawrites]

Yandere Genshin Men With An Escaped Darling

Characters: Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Capitano, Childe, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Dottore, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Pantalone, Pierro, Sethos, Thoma, Tighnari, Venti, Wanderer, Wriothesley, Xiao, Zhongli (all separate)

This took me so much longer than what I have planned. I had much fun writing this:) if you have any yandere scenario requests feel free to send me an ask<3 (I most likely won’t include every single character). (Let me know if anyone wanna be apart of my taglist).

Masterlist

Warnings: violence, murder, imprisonment, manipulation, drugging, female reader

Word count: 9664

Albedo

The icy wind whipped against your cheeks. Snow clouded your vision. The tree branches waved in the wind and grasped at your clothes. You hissed as a thorn ripped your fabric, causing you to bleed.

As you ran down the mountain you glanced over your shoulder at every given moment.

A clearing caught your eye. Finally you could breathe out. You leans against a large tree. You needed to cover your wound. You rummaged through your pockets and to your joy you found a small scarf. The thin woven scarf was gifted to you by Klee, Albedo’s younger sister. The little girl was so proud when she gave you the scarf and wanted you to wear it all the time. Sadness filled your being at the thought of ruining the pink scarf, but your arm was more important. You bound your wound tightly with the scarf. One of the things he had thought you.

“I told you to stay inside the cabin” his voice echoed.

You froze. You prayed to the archons that it was just your mind playing tricks on you.

“This mountain is dangerous. You have no way of defending yourself” his voice soft.

You turned your head. Your eyes met his ice blue ones. They were cold, just like the icy mountain.

“Let’s go home” he walked towards you with quick steps. His arms wrapped around you and he kissed your forehead. “You are better off home, with me. I will keep you safe” his arms tightened around your form.

Alhaitham

The scribe had given you freedom. Which allowed you to freely roam the Akademiya. While Alhaitham was preoccupied in his office, you explored the university. Within a couple of months you had made friends with a couple of the students. You never told them you situation with the grey haired scholar, but they all knew that you lived together.

You had spent a lot of time plotting your escape. After all escaping the scribe was no easy task. The House of Daena was empty and quiet. The small bag you had hoisted over your shoulder filled with only the necessities. Your hands was shaking as you pushed down the door handle to a back door. The sunlight blinded you as the door opened.

You hurried down the path from the Akademiya. Your flats clicking against the cobblestone. You had to get out from Sumeru City and seek refuge in a remote town. It was risk, sure, but it was your only hope.

After an hour or so you had made your way to a small village on the outskirts of the capital. It wasn’t the ideal place, but it was your only option for the night. You was so kindly offered the spare bed by a lovely elderly woman. She didn’t ask why you looked over your shoulder every minute and that you were thankful for.

You packed your things and thanked the older woman for her kindness and went on your way.

After hours on the road your legs felt like jelly. You stopped by a abandoned house and rested on the little bench by the overgrown vegetable garden.

You woke up by the sounds of footsteps coming your way. A shadow blocked the sun.

“I must say you have slightly developed, but unfortunately you are still as predictable as ever” Alhaitham shook his head. “The elderly woman you slept at told me everything as soon as I explained the situation” his lips widened into a grin. “She thanked my for looking after such a helpless woman such as yourself.”

Strong arms picked you up and held you tight against his strong chest. “Let’s go home”.

Ayato

Ayato was a sly man. With his white clothing he looked like an angel, but that was far from the truth. You had many times heard him command the Shuumatsuban to get rid of the clan’s enemies. You knew the katana that rested by his hip when he was out on public duties, had slaughtered many.

You were afraid. Not only by him in himself, but afraid of his power and actions. That’s why you climbed over the tall walls that shielded the Kamisato residence from the outside world. Your ankles buckled under you as you landed and you whimpered out in pain. After you had collected yourself, you made a run for it. The ninja’s that were stationed around the estate had without doubt already spotted you. You hoped that they went to report to Ayato instead of chasing you down.

The way down to the beach was rocky and dangerous. Like a wild goat you quickly made your way down thanks to the adrenaline that pumped through your veins. The old rowboat was in the same stop just as you had recalled from an evening stroll with Ayaka along the beach. To your luck the two paddles were still there. You pushed the boat with all your might to the shore. The saltwater cold against your bare feet.

The swish of an arrow stopped you in your tracks. You looked down and saw it sticking out from the side of the boat. The hole was not that big, but it would cause your boat to leak in enough water for it to sink before you had made it to safety.

“Seize her!” a Shuumatsuban with high standing ordered.

A man with his face covered dragged you away from your boat and bound your wrists behind your back.

When you looked up at the cliff you saw Ayato looking down at you. He made his way down slowly and dread filled your veins.

He stopped in front of you and lifted your chin with a finger. “Did you have fun?” he leaned his face closer, his breath fanning your face. “Do not forget that I have eyes and ears everywhere”.

“Now let’s get you home. I will make sure you won’t slip through my fingers again. Though I must say your little attempt humoured me”

Baizhu

Tricking the little zombie girl made you feel horrible, but it was your only ticket to freedom. The green haired doctor had feed you herbs that made you weak and depended on his care. You had seen the label on the little bottle containing the medicine. So when he was out researching some herbs, you went through all the medical books he had in his libraries in search of the antidote. After much time and countless books you finally figured out the antidote.

You talked to Qiqi alone when Baizhu was busy treating a patient. You explained that he needed some herbs and told her that she had to deliver them to you and not her guardian. After some convincing she agreed. You crossed your fingers that she would remember and not slip up.

To your joy Qiqi had indeed remembered. The herbs tasted awful, but it was a small price to pay. It didn’t take long before you felt the medicine Baizhu had given you wear of. When he came to check up on you, you pretended that you were still weak. You asked him to go get some more medicine and he did as you said. When the green haired man left, you quickly tried to pry the window open. It was slightly jammed, but with your new strength you managed. Finally you had escaped the snake’s nest.

Your feet moved fast as you ran down the many stairs. You had to turn Baizhu to the authorities for his crimes. Just as you had made it down the stairs you bumped into someone. You didn’t need to look up to understand who it was.

“You will catch a cold running around like that” his voice cold as ice. His fingers lifted up your chin. “Tricking Qiqi really was a low move. That poor child was absolutely devastated to come home to an empty house. As for me I must say I am deeply disappointed. I have made it very clear that you will not manage without me.”

His lips curled up into a soft smile. “Let’s go home my darling. I will make some tea.”

Capitano

The first Harbinger was worshipped throughout the whole snowy nation. His underlings held great respect for him. He could be cruel and bloodthirsty, but to you he had a soft spot for.

Boots hammered against the ice ground. You knew you wouldn’t be able to run away from them, but you would not give up so easily.

As you made your way through the thick pine forest you started to regret your decision, but it was too late. As you came to the end of the forest you were surrounded by soldiers. Their spears raised towards you, stopping you in your tracks.

The sound of hooves reached your ears. The soldiers parted and bowed deep. On a tall black horse sat Capitano. Even with his face hidden by his black helmet, you could feel his intense gaze.

The stallion came to a halt and his rider dismounted. The snow crunched underneath his heels as he made his way towards you. His height towering over your trembling form. “You are all dismissed” he barked out. The soldiers bowed before they marched down the hill.

He stayed quiet for what felt like an eternity. The ice cold wind howling against the tree tops. The dark haired man finally spoke “You broke my trust. Criminals deserve to be punished.”

With a swift motion he threw you over his shoulder and held you in place with his arm. He mounted his horse and squeezed his heels against the animal’s flank.

The Harbinger’s hold on you was tight and as suffocating as his presence. As you watched the landscape blur together you realised that you would never escape him.

Childe

The sound of children’s laughter could be heard in the distance. The small fishing village Ajax’s family resides in was remote. The river that ran across it ice cold and filled to the brim with fish. You crept as quickly as you could between the trees that surround the village. To your dismay Childe’s childhood home was just by the border which meant that the red head knew the woods like the back of his hand.

You winced as you heard Teucer calling out for his brother. The little child had noticed your disappearance.

You picked up your speed and ran as fast as your legs could carry you. It was difficult with the heavy snow, but you had to keep going.

A flash of red stopped you in your tracks. You quickly hid behind a rock and held your breath.

“It’s not nice to run away” a chirpy voice said. Childe.

Of course he found you. It was only a matter of time. His soft laughter rang throughout the woods. He was close. Too close.

Suddenly he jumped onto the rock you had hidden behind. You yelped and backed away. He grinned as he looked down on you. His eyes wide and crazed. “If you wanted to play hide and seek why didn’t you just say so?” he laughed. His laughter chilling.

He jumped down and landed just a few centimetres from your legs. He bent down and dragged you to your feet. “Teucer, Tonia and Anthon are all waiting for you back home. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them would you?” he tilted his head and faked a sad expression.

He wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly. “When we get home after our visit here, I will never let you leave my side. Is that understood?” his voice low. He chuckled as he pulled back to study your expression. “That frightened look of yours is really something. Makes me wanna eat you up” he kissed your cheek. “Don’t make me lose my cool, okay?”

Cyno

The sun was bright and high. The heat was unbearable and you regretted not seeking shade. The sand danced across the dune as the wind gave you some mercy from the heat.

In front off you on the scorching sand laid the lifeless bodies of the eremites that had helped you with your escape from the general. Blood coloured the sand red and the ruins surrounding you were splattered in red. The metallic sand made you dizzy.

Cyno stood before the bodies with his back turned to you. His white hair was coated in red. His strong muscles made him look like a god as he stood there with his bloodied spear. He turned to you. His face blank.

“I am sorry you had to see that” his expression apologetic.

He planted the spear in the ground and walked towards you slowly like he was afraid of scaring you. He squatted down so that he was on your eye level. You pulled your legs towards you as much as you could.

“Why did you run away?”

You only stared at him with big eyes. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. His head piece long discarded. “The desert is a dangerous place. You have no idea how scared I was when I noticed your disappearance” his eyes sad. “When I saw you among those eremites… I have never felt such anger. I had no choice but to eliminate them. Those who try to take you away from me deserves punishment. I did the right thing with ridding the world of such people” his hands was trembling in anger.

“I will make sure no one tries to take you away from me again. I will always be by your side” he kissed your tears away with a soft smile.

Dainsleif

Dainsleif had long lost his sanity. At least when it came to you. That much was clear.

You had just managed to escape him while he slept. The ruin you had chosen for your resting place for the night was eerie quite. Even the monsters were gone. You would have found it weird had you not been on the run. You manoeuvred through the dark ruins as fast as you could. After a while you made it out.

Your relived expression fell as you took in your surroundings. The monsters you had disappeared were now standing in front of you. You slowly backed away as you thought up an escaped plan. Just as you were about to make a run for it, dark blue power lit up the area in front of you. With movements faster then what your eyes could see, the monsters were slain.

The blond traveler looked at you with a look that sent shivers down your spine. He flicked off the blood that coated his blade as he made his way towards you.

“I expected more from you. To believe you so ignorantly took the bait is truly disappointing” he shook his head. “But on the plus side, I have now proved to you that you will never make it without me. Let me be your protector. Let me take care of you” he kneeled in front of you as he took your small hand in his and kissed it gently.

You could only cry silent as the Twilight Sword led you inside the ruins. Dainsleif was a man of his word and you knew very well that he would never break his promise to himself.

Diluc

The winery was a beautiful place. When you first arrived you thought it looked like something straight out from a fairytale. You could not be more wrong as you soon learned.

Diluc was a desperate man. He had tricked himself into believing he was your saviour and he would do anything in order to protect you. If he had to kill someone in order to do so he would not bat an eye.

You had escaped through the cellar door and out the cellar window. You had been unsure if you fitted through the window, but to your surprise you fitted like a glove. The moon casted a pale light against the manor and it made you pause in your steps by its beauty.

The stables were empty just as you had expected. You tacked up the chestnut mare Diluc had gifted you. You kissed her forehead as you collected yourself. He would come after you.

As the mare galloped through the dense forest you could hear the distant shouts from Diluc. You gritted your teeth as you made your horse run faster.

Just as you thought you had made it, you heard the dreaded screams of his hawk. You had lost.

Your eyes were heavy as you slowly gained consciousness. You were tied to the desk chair inside his bedroom. Your bindings was of the finest red silk. You shivered at the similarities between you and a neatly wrapped present. In front of you were a highly distressed red haired man. He was walking back and forth, muttering something to himself.

“How could I be so careless as to not look better after her… I am a fool” he hissed to himself.

After a few minutes he stopped and turned to you. His expression softened as he cupped your face. “I apologise for the bindings, but it is necessary. You could be hurt you know?” his voice soft, but serious. “I will never let any harm happen to you. Ever.”

Dottore

The doctor’s blood red eyes always sent shivers down your spine. Even though he was human, he seemed like anything but. His embraces felt like a cage and his sweet words like poison. It didn’t take you long to understand why he was the most feared man in the entirety of Teyvat.

Dottore held you within his estate and refused to let you leave. Heavily armed guards guarded your chambers. You had tried to convince them to let you go and the next day you were delivered their served head on a platter. Dottore was cruel that much was obvious.

You knew you could never outsmart Dottore. He was one of the smartest beings on the plant and he never pretended not to be. If you couldn’t trick Dottore, you would trick the servants.

The long hallways in Dottore’s mansion were dark and empty. You sneaked through the manor as quietly as possible. With the key you had stolen clutched in your hand you made your way to the garden door. You twisted the key in the keyhole and pushed the door open. Cold air filled your lungs. Your eyes lit up at the sight of the snow filled landscape.

Your freedom was however short lived.

“If you take a step outside of that door I will behead this woman” a deep voice reached your ears.

You froze and slowly turned. There in the doorway stood the Harbinger. His raven-like mask were nowhere to be found. His hand was wrapped around the neck of the maid who you had stolen the key from. Her face was filled with fear and she looked at you pleadingly.

As much as you longed for freedom, you could not bear to have the blood from someone else on your hands. You walked back in and locked the door with a lowered head. You placed the key in Dottore’s waiting hand.

He slipped the key onto his pocket with a smile. “Good girl.”

“However…. I cannot let such an action go unpunished” he tck-ed. He threw the maid across the room. Her back hit the wall with a loud thud.

“I have given you all a specific rule you all must follow. I have made what would happen if you would ever break it quite clear, have I not?” his voice as cold as the unforgiving landscape that surrounded the estate. The maid muttered a “yes lord Harbinger”.

The blue haired man scoffed and turned to you. “I suppose I should teach you a lesson” his eyes held nothing but cold determination.

With three long strides he stopped in front of the maid. Her eyes filled with horror. He pulled out a sharp and sleek scalpel and slight her throat in a precise motion. “You deserve much more suffering, but I don’t want me darling to be witness to that so this would have to do” he sneered at the maid as she gurgled on her own blood.

He threw the scalpel and wiped his hands on his pants. “Let’s get you back to your chambers shall we.”

He snaked his arm around your waist and led you out of the hallway. “I trust that you will stop your escape attempts and accept that you belong here with me” his voice smooth like honey.

Gorou

The general of the resistance was a generous man. He always looked after his soldiers and treated them with respect and you were no different. He loved you with his entire being, that much was certain.

He never brought you to the frontlines. You were to stay at the base with a few trusted soldiers that looked after you. They all knew about your situation, but no one cared. They all were just glad that the general had someone who brought him comfort through the tough times.

As the soldiers exchanged posts you were able to sneak out of the cabin. You did not get far before a certain brunette had tracked you down.

His big cerulean eyes wide as his whole body tensed. “Why are you out here?” his big eyes not blinking once. His ears alert.

“You didn’t try to leave right? It must be something else? Right?” his voice raised. His fangs visible as he sneered.

He gripped your hand tightly as he dragged you back to the camp. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but I need to keep you safe” he looked at you with a sad expression as he hurried back to the camp.

The hybrid had always been extremely overprotective to the point it suffocated you. He always told he did what he did for your own good.

The next nights he held you tightly in his arms as he slept. His fluffy tail wrapping around your leg in a protective manner.

Heizou

The detective had locked you up in his own home, claiming it was a way to protect you. Every door and every window (and some drawers) had complicated locks on. Only a few doors and drawers were unlocked.

Heizou was out on a detective job so you were left all alone. This was your chance to get out. You knew all to well that the detective most likely would track you down, but you could not let such an opportunity pass.

The puzzle that was the lock-mechanism on the front door seemed different. Heizou did have the habit of changing them so you didn’t think too much of it. The puzzle was tricky, but after a while you were able to figure it out. The door unlocked and you squealed in joy.

You hadn’t come far before someone wrapped their arms around your shoulders. “Boo” he whispered into your ears causing you to yelp.

“Aww… Did I scare you now?” his tone mocking. He leaned his entire body weight onto you causing you to stumble. He chuckled at your shuffling and poked your cheek. “I’m glad you passed my little test sweetheart” he purred.

You regained your senses and pushed him off. You glared at him as he laughed.

“You really are entertaining aren’t you? You thought that I would ever let you go… Now that’s just too funny!” he wiped his tears as he laughed.

“With your naivety, you are better of with me” he grabbed your arm and pulled you close. Your noses almost touching. He cupped your cheeks and smiled at you gently. “I will take care of you, darling.”

Itto

The brutish oni was really clingy and always felt the need to have you glued to his side. Getting alone time was nearly impossible, but you managed when he was out organising a onikabuto match.

While the white haired man was busy making posters with his gang, you snuck out of the house. Which was surprisingly easy when he wasn’t home. The city was lively and the lit lanterns flickering in the wind. Stars littering the clear night sky. You sneaked among the multiple food stalls. The smell of fried fish filling the air.

The sound of a booming laughter made your limbs freeze to the ground. You could recognise that laughter everywhere. You turned your head and your eyes widened in fear at your confirmed suspicion. Before a dessert stall stood Itto with Mamoru. “We gotta get something for the gang. You brought money right?” the oni nudged Mamoru who muttered a “yes boss”.

You quickly hid behind a small group of someone who stood before the boba shop. Luckily you where shorter than the group and you were able to stay hidden.

“Wait… Why does it smell like [Name]?”

“I don’t know boss. Isn’t she home?”

Your heartbeat hammered against your ribs. You carefully peaked through the group. Itto was sniffing in the air, the action almost comical, had it not been for your predicament. His closed eyes snapped open. His red slit eyes met yours. His body tense like a hunting dog. His expression filled with shock. “Doll?” he called out.

Your feet moved before you even registered it. You sprinted down the street. Your sandals clicking against the ground. You didn’t need to look back to know that Itto was right behind you.

You jumped down the railing and you were thankful that the jumps wasn’t too high as you landed on the soft grass. Just as you made it behind a small building, a big hand grabbed your arm. You lost your balanced and was pulled flushed against a broad chest.

“Why are you outside?” his voice eerily quiet. “I thought I made it clear that it’s dangerous, you are not a big strong oni. Humans are so fragile and weak” he pulled you into a tight hug. His face pressed against your soft hair. “You better listen to me next time… or I would have to tie you up” he pressed a kiss on top of your head followed by a soft “I love you”.

Kaeya

The Calvary Captain’s office was quite save from the sound of the captain’s pen scribbling. He hadn’t acknowledged you since he brought you inside his spacious office. His silence was scarier than his anger. He continued to write his report about some mission. The grandfather clock in the corner ticking.

After what felt like an eternity Kaeya looked up at you. He folded his hands and leaned his chin on them. His lone eye looking straight at you, causing a shiver to run down your spine. “You broke my trust did you not?” his honeyed voice terrifying. He tck-ed. “I am disappointed, but not surprised” he sighed. “I should punish you” he unfolded his hands and drummed two fingers across the rim of his empty glass.

“Why would I want to be locked up in some apartment?” you spat at the smug knight. His lips stretched up into a uncanny smile.

“Oh my…. You are more naive than what I gave you credit for” he chuckled. He stood up suddenly, causing the chair legs to scrap against the hardwood floor. He walked towards you like a stalking wolf. His eyes hungry and brimming with madness.

He stopped before you and leaned down on the arms of your chair. His face close to yours. Too close. His crystal blue eye scanned yours. You felt completely naked underneath his gaze. “Did you really think I wouldn’t know how you so foolishly conceived the knights guarding the house?” he laughed. His laughter sickening. “I dealt with them as soon as they reported back to me. It was a pain cleaning of the blood from my new boots, but some sacrifices must be made” he sighed.

He grasped your chin and leaned closer “I will never ever let you go.”

He straightened up. His expression lighthearted. “Now let’s get something to eat shall we?” he pulled you up with a tight grip. You looked down on his boots as he dragged you out of his office, noticing the few blood speckles he had missed.

Kaveh

The house Kaveh had constructed for you two was like a maze. With many corridors and doors, it was easy to get lost. He had built you both a home where he could play out his fantasy. He had kept you locked away in the mansion for months. Kaveh said it was to keep you safe and away from prying eyes.

You tried to force the window open for the 10th time, but to no avail. The window was still only a few centimetres open. Kaveh had proudly showed you the windows he had constructed that would not open more than a few centimetres. You had hoped that the design of the master architect had failed, but to your disappointment they had not.

Your eyes scanned the room till the landed on the doors to the winter garden. The glass were delicate and beautiful. You studied it closely till you came to the conclusion that they might be fragile enough to shatter. You picked up a stool that were standing in the corner. You lifted the furniture over your head and smashed the windows with all your might. The glass doors shattered into million pieces, looking like glittering diamonds. You dropped the stool and climbed through the window. You hissed as you cut yourself on the jagged pieces of glass that were still standing.

The winter garden was cozily decorated and it almost made you sad to leave it. The door out to the garden was locked which wasn’t a surprise. To your luck one of the miniature stone statues that resembled birds of all sizes, was perfect for shattering windows. It almost broke your heart at the thought of shattering the beautiful stained glass walls, but you had no choice. With all your might you managed to break it.

You ran as fast as you could through the garden. You had to find the exit before Kaveh came home from his meeting with his new client. As you were about to climb the tall fence that surrounded the property, a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you down. You back hit the soft grass and straddling you were Kaveh. His eyes filled with betrayal and anger.

“How could you?!” his voice loud. His grip on your shoulders tightened. “After all that I have done for you?!” his features twisted into rage and hurt.

You tried to defend yourself, but your words died on you tongue. You had never seen Kaveh that angry. Fear filled you entire being and you felt sick. You casted a last look at the flush forest behind the fence. You knew that this would be your last time outside for a very long time.

Kazuha

With your breath ragged you ran through the dense forest. You had finally managed to escape the white haired samurai. You just needed to reach the beach and board one of the fishing boats that were docked at the dock.

You finally made it to the clearing that lead down to the beach. You waved at the fishermen and they turned to greet you. The dock was old and badly maintained. Splinters poking out and threatening to stab your feet. Just as you were about to ask the captain on the rather small boat, a gust of wind nearly knocked you down.

Red maple leaves fell gently down form the sky. The man in front of you moved quickly and elegantly. His movements like a dance, completely ensnaring you with his beauty. Crimson rain littered the air before it splattered your face. The warm liquid brought you quickly to your senses. Kazuha swiftly slashed his katana, slitting the throat of the captain. The red eyed man landed gently and wiped his blade with a handkerchief. The white fabric staining red in an instant.

He turned his gaze to you. His lips bore a gentle smile. In a blink of an eye he was right in front of you. He lifted his hand and gently wiped the bloodstains of your skin. “What is my delicate flower doing here?” his voice soft.

You swallowed. You had yet to let you eyes wander to the slaughtered boat crew. Kazuha’s eyes scanned yours. His long eyelashes fluttered. Tears ran down your cheeks in crystal clear rivers. You shoved him away as hard as you could. He stumbled back, but you knew he held back his strength. He had let you push him. “Get away from me!” your voice weak and trembling. You choked out a cry as your fell down to the wooden floor. The wood was soaked with red blood. You let your eyes wander. You wanted to throw up at the sight of the dead boatmen.

“You know I can’t do that. Without me you’re lost. I need to protect you. You are the only light in my life and I know we will live happily ever after” his voice was pained and vulnerable. His calloused hands gripped your shoulders in desperation. “I am never going to let you leave me” his smile crazed and not fitting his saddened eyes.

He wrapped his arms around you in an embrace that reminded you of a cage. His face nestled into your soft hair. “I will make you happy, just you wait and see.”

Lyney

A swarm of cards flew over your face, momentarily blinding you. You ducked your head, but lost balance as something caught your leg. It was a makeshift snare made of multiple colourful handkerchiefs. Playful giggles reached your ears.

“The surprised look on your face is to die for! So adorable!” his voice gleeful.

You quickly got back on your feet and was about to make a run for it when Lyney tackled you. You landed with a groan, the cobblestone hard against your back. Lyney pinned your hands to the ground as he sat on top of your midriff. He grinned as he looked down on you.

“It’s no fun in you escaping you know?” he tilted his head. He kissed your nose before he jumped off you. “You could at least be a little more creative” he shook his head in faux disappointment.

“Asshole” you sneered at him.

His cat like eyes crinkled in amusement at your remark. “How rude” he snickered.

Just as sudden as he had jumped you, his expression changed. His eyes colder than ice and his mouth a thin line. He grabbed your wrist and dragged you after him.

He unlocked the house he, his siblings and you resided in. He quickly locked the door after him and dragged you into your bedroom. He let go of your hand. You quickly stumbled as far away from him as you could.

“Why can’t you let me have nice things? Why [Name]?” his eyes narrowed. It was in moments like this that you remembered his role in The Fatui. His eyes held a dangerous glint that dared you to cross him.

Your eyes widened in horror. “No, no, no… Please Lyney!” you begged. Tears trialing down your cheeks and pooling down onto the soft carpet.

“You gave me no choice. This is the consequences of your own actions” he shushed you as he clasped the chain onto your left ankle. He gently kissed your tears away. “It’s only temporary, okay?” he gently stroked your cheekbone. “I love you darling, don’t forget that.”

Neuvillette

Even though the judge bore aesthetically similarities with the sea otters that lived in the Fontanian waters, he was not like them at all. They were sweet playful creatures, and the judge a selfish cruel man. His good reputation made you sick. If only the citizens of Fontaine knew him like you did.

He had kept you hidden and locked up in his beautiful home. That was until you had managed to convince the Melusine that was in charge of looking after you that day. At first she refused to let you out, but when you told her that you were going to buy a present for Neuvillette she yielded. If it was under other circumstances you would have felt bad for tricking her.

The bustling streets of The Court of Fontaine a familiar sight. You breathed in the air. Oh how you had missed the smell of new baked goods and the music of street musicians.

You knew it would not take long before Neuvillette would notice your disappearance. You had to get out of the city and onto an aqua bus before he sent the Gardes after you.

You bought a ticket with the money you had managed to steal from Neuvillette. You quickly made it up the stairs to the aqua bus station. The aqua bus was just about to depart when a group of Gardes blocked the exit behind you. You leaped for the bus only to collide with a broad chest. You could recognise that scent no matter where in Teyvat you found yourself.

You slowly raised your head. Neuvillette looked down at you with a furious expression. You had only seen that expression when he had caught you chatting with other men (it didn’t matter to him that your conversation was only friendly and nothing more). His lilac eyes bored into yours, stripping your soul naked.

“I told you to never leave the residence” his voice low and lazed with anger.

His horns glowing light blue. His hands balled into fists by his sides, clearly trying to ground himself. You lowered your head.

“We are going back at once and you better not make any commotions” his hand turned you around and firmly guided you to the lift. One of the Gardes reached out his hand in order to size you properly. “Get your filthy hand away from her” Neuvillette’s voice boomed.

The Garde tried to defend himself but was cut short by Neuvillette. “Leave at once or you will regret it” his teeth bared. His sharp fangs fully visible. The Garde bowed and quickly left.

Neuvillette’s hand tightened its hold on your shoulder. “When we get home I demanded an explanation as to why you left your home” he whispered into your ear.

Pantalone

Pantalone was sitting on a expensive leather chair. His shoes polished in a way you could see your own reflection in the black leather. In his gloved hands was a black pistol with details in white gold.

In front of him on the cold polished hardwood floor knelt a man. His hands were bound behind his back. His eyes were looking pleadingly up at the Harbinger. He was a guard whom you had befriended. He had so kindly helped you escape before you both were caught red handed by the ninth Harbinger.

The black haired Harbinger turned his face towards you. “This is what he gets for taking what’s mine” his voice as smooth as velvet. His eyes dark and his smile cunning. He turned towards the bound man. “I must admit that I am a rather greedy man. I really hate when people try to take what’s mine” he sighed and clicked his tongue. He flicked the safety and pointed the pistol at the guards head.

“No!” you screamed as you desperately tried to get lose from your silk bindings.

Pantalone shushed you gently. “He asked for it my love” his voice sweet as sugar.

“Any last words?” he smiled. “Hmm… I don’t think you deserve any” he fired the pistol before the poor guard had the time to open his mouth. Pantalone’s smile stretched into a sickening grin. The man’s brain splatters onto the expansive rug.

You screamed as you tried to swallow the bile. “How could you?! You disgusting monster! I hate you!” you screamed while thick tears ran down your cheeks.

“Don’t cry my dear. He’s not worth shedding your lovely tears over” Pantalone kneeled in front of you. His eyes gentle. “I will make sure that no other men like that ever gets between us. You are mine and nothing will ever change that” his voice low.

Pierro

The sorcerer had forced you to your knees with his magic. You could feel the power tugging at your mind and it hurt. His pale eyes boring into yours. “Have you forgotten your place?” his gruff voice echoed inside the ballroom.

You glared up at him unable to do anything else. He kneeled before you and harshly lifted your chin. His expression harsher than the unforgiving climate outside. “I must say I’m utterly disappointed in your behaviour. You should be ashamed.”

You tried to get control over your limbs, but to no avail. Your words died on your tongue and you were unable to make any sound.

The white haired man scoffed and released his hold on you. His magic released you completely and you crawled backwards and away from him. Creating as much distance as possible.

The Jester rose to his feet and dusted off invisible dust from his elegant robe. “If you were anyone else I would have executed you for your crime. Do not forget that our relationship was blessed directly blessed from Her Majesty Herself” he sneered.

He hauled you up to your feet, his iron grip bruising. He dragged you down the corridors and up the many stairs to your chambers. He slammed the door open and dragged you inside.

“Think over what you have done. I don’t take such humiliation lightly” his eyes narrow as he looked down on you. “Don’t think you will ever get away. You belong to me and that’s final” with that he closed the door and locked it making you all alone.

Sethos

You ran over the dunes as fast as you could. You had to be fast. Behind you you could hear Sethos voice as he called for you. To your misfortune the free spirited man was fast. Extremely fast. Your sandals were filled with sand, but you couldn’t care less.

Suddenly it became quiet. Too quiet. You hid behind a rock formation and listened. Suddenly a figure slid down the dune to your left and leaped on top of you. He was precise enough that make sure you landed on the sand and not the rock behind you. His wild hair rustling in the wind.

The sight in front of you reminded you of the time when he swept you away and locked you away inside the temple. He had first gotten to know you when he visited Sumeru City. He had told you it was love at first sight and he asked you to come and visit the desert with him. You were taken aback by his impulsiveness, but you soon grew accustom to it.

“If you wanted to play hide and seek you could have just said so” his entire weight on you. He was silent for a few moments. His crystal green eyes scanning yours. You could see his gears turning. “Don’t tell me you tried to run away from me…? You would never do something like that? Right?” his voice lazed with disbelief and desperation.

In a swift movement you were brought to you feet. His hold on you right and you wondered if he thought you would fly away if he let go. “Let’s get back to the temple” his voice back to its jovial self, but his eyes clouded with obsession and desperation.

Thoma

The white mop mopped over the hardwood floor in a fast motion. The white colour quickly staining red. A crimson red pool of blood was spilled across the floor. The sight made you sick. Bile raising up in your throat. You were sitting in the coroner of the room , hugging your knees. The blonde man stopped his mopping and raised his head and looked at you. His face splattered with blood. He sighed and leaned the mop against the wall.

“I am so sorry you had to see that, my angle” his green eyes pleading. He crouched in front of your trembling form. He gently caressed your cheek.

The friendly and kind housekeeper was gone and replaced by a green eyed monster that slaughtered anything in its path. He had beheaded the kind men that helped you escape from the Kamisato estate.

“I am wounded that you tried to leave me. What did I do wrong?” his eyes glossy.

You locked me away you wanted to say, but you kept your mouth shut.

“My master has been kind and let us stay here together and this is your gratitude?” his voice slightly raised. His eyes scanned over your form and landed on your bloodied nightdress. “I have to get that off” he muttered as he quickly rose. His movements frantic as he looked for a washcloth.

“My gratitude?” your voice shaky, but loud. “You have taken everything away from me!” you stood up. Your legs shaky.

Thoma’s eyes narrowed. “Watch your tongue” his voice cold.

You swallowed. You understood now better than anyone why so many feared the “fixer”.

His hold on the washcloth tight. His knuckles whiter than snow. “Go to your room and change. I will wash your nightdress later” he spoke through gritted teeth.

Your colour drained from your face as you hurried to your room. Your bedroom seemed more like a prison than anything else.

Tighnari

The forest watcher had always lectured you about various plants and their effects and benefits. At first you thought it was boring, but after awhile you learned to use it to your advantage. Taking herbs from Tighnari’s beloved collection was tricky, but not impossible. You had read through every single book he had on botany. Your plan was bulletproof.

Tighnari had gently sipped on the cup of tea you had brewed for him while he read through some reposts. He had then fallen limp over the kitchen table. You checked his pulse and breathes out in relief when you felt his pulse against your fingers. You wanted to escape from the obsessed fox, not kill him.

You rummage through his pocket for his key. The key was heavy in your hand and it was almost a surreal feeling when you twisted it in the lock. The air fresh and welcoming. With a last look at the unconscious man you began your journey.

The rainforest was tricky to navigate in, but luckily you had stolen both a map and a compass from Tighnari. Yet again you were glad you paid attention to his boring lectures. The sound of branches snapping made you stop in your tracks. The hair on the back of your neck rose.

“Poisoning me…” his voice echoed through the treetops. “Your audacity is truly something” he sneered. “Look at me when I’m talking to you” his voice nearer.

You slowly turned around and were met with a angry hazel eyes. His long ears pinned back in anger. His arms folded over his chest.

“The rainforest is dangerous. Let’s get back” you could see he was holding back his fury. His jaw clenched. He groaned and dragged a hand over his face. “I guess I have no choice…” he sighed as he stalked towards you.

Quicker thank you could register he had trapped you within his arms. “I will never let you go. I’m just trying to protect you” he whispered against your ear.

Something pricked your neck. Your eyes widened and darted to Tighnari’s. “It had to be down. Consider it… pay back” he supported your body as you lost consciousness.

Venti

The anemo archon was an eerie man. He was all smiles and friendly laughter among the crowd disguised as Venti the bard, but with you he was like a completely different person. Sure he was still easygoing, but his obsession and possession overshadowing anything else. He had told you many times with a playful smirk that he was undoubtedly the weakest archon. You never believed him. You had seen with your very own eyes what he was capable of doing to those he thought was undeserving of your attention, but you had yet to see his full potential. Though you must admit that you rather did not wish to witness that.

He kept you in the ruins of Stormterror’s lair. He had made the ruin as liveable as possible and even quite cozy. He treated you like royalty and gave you everything except freedom. You thought it was rather stupid considering he was the god of freedom.

Escaping the ruin was almost completely impossible considering the wind shields that surrounded it and the dragon that acted as a guard. When you finally managed to escape and run over the grassy meadows you were so happy you cried.

Your tears clouded your vision causing you to become less aware of your surroundings.

Strong wind slammed against causing you to lose balance. There in front of you were Barbados. He was not in his usual clothing, but rather in a godly outfit. White big wings flapping behind him. His cerulean eyes glowing intensely in the night. He was completely silent, but you felt the anger oozing out from him.

You were completely frozen to the ground and you were unsure if it was his doing or your fear taking over. You wanted to explain yourself, but your voice failed you completely.

With a gust of wind you were swept up into his arms. His arms strong and squeezed you flushed against him. His wings flapped silently as he soared through the air. High up in the air you were able to see Mondstadt City and you quickly came to the realisation that you would probably never step a foot inside its gates again.

Wanderer/Scara

In front off you was a raging man. His eyes wide and filled with fury. His hands held anemo power which he sliced through the merchants that had guided you through the tick rainforest. Wanderer’s hair was slicked back with blood. He delivered the last strike to the merchant before he landed. He slowly turned around to face you. His hands shaking with anger.

You opened your mouth, but quickly shut your mouth at his raised hand. “Those lowlife who think they can take you away from me” he laughed manically. “How dumb can you be?” Wanderer sneered through laughter. “Because you would never leave me right? After all I have been through? Right?” his eyes crazed as he continued to spew nonsense. “We are destined to be together. It’s my right. How dare they to take that away from me?! I should revive them just so that I could kill them again” his laughter sounded almost forced.

He wrapped his arms around you. You could feel tears against your neck as he wept. You were astonished by his vulnerability. It almost made you pity him. Just almost.

He quickly regained his composure and roughly wiped his tears on his sleeve. “Let’s go home…” his voice distant.

The journey back had been quite. When you finally arrived back he shoved you inside. His eyes wide and intense. “You have no idea how much I wanna lock you up in a cage right now” he muttered. His porcelain white hand tightly gripping yours. “I will make sure so that you never leave me. I need you. I need you so much it hurts. So don’t ever try and get away.”

Wriothesley

You had long planned your escape from The Fortress of Meropide. Unlike the other inmates you were completely innocent. You had been wrongfully imprisoned on the request of Wriothesley. You had gained the trust of some of you fellow inmates and they promised to help you escape. You had chose the pipe cleaning day as your day of escaping. All went smoothly and exactly as planned.

The only step left in your plan was descend into the waters that the pipes were connected too and swim out to freedom. After that you had to avoid the detectors, but you were confident in your diving abilities.

As you were saying your thanks to the kind inmates, the sound of heavy boots against metal echoed in the pipes. In the opening of the pipe were Wriothesley. His imposing figure sending shivers down you spine.

The metal decorations on his outfit clattering with each step. The handcuffs on his hip catching the light. His icy eyes held an unreadable emotion. “Well well… What might this ruckus be?” he tilted his head and placed his hands on his hips. His tone held a dangerous edge to it. Wriothesley eyes glued onto yours and completely ignoring the others.

A bottomless pit formed in your stomach and you almost threw up. You swallowed the taste of vomit. Your freedom was so close, yes so very far.

“Are you aware your sentences are going to be so much longer?” his lips curled up into a little smirk. “I thought you were smarter than this” with two steps he reached you. He hooked off his cuffs and cuffed your wrists. “It seems you need a more secure cell… Luckily I know just the one” he leaned closer to your ear “I will make sure you always stick to my side”.

You had never regretted something more than your little escape attempt. The new so called cell was a bedroom connected to the Duke’s living quarters. Your freedom had never been so distant as it was now.

Xiao

You ran as fast as you could. The landscape blurring together as you navigated through the forest. You had to escape him. Or at least try. Tue bamboo forest was dense and dark. Your human eyes struggled to see clearly. You could hear birds fleeing in the distance. He was close.

You had ran away when you learned that he had slaughtered the man who had so kindly gifted you sun pork buns. The adepti had let you run first, which surprised you. Even though you didn’t understand why, you were grateful for your head start.

Suddenly a green black cloud appeared in front off you. You tried to turn in your heel to flow, but was stopped when a hand grabbed your collar. You were momentarily unable to breath. It was only when he loosened his grip that you were able to gasp for air.

“I don’t understand you mortals. I only do what I have to protect you. I give you everything you need and more” he sounded confused and annoyed.

“Without me you would not have managed to survive. At all” he spun you around so you could face him. “Did me killing that man hurt you that much? I have killed many of you near acquaintances and you never batted an eye…” his voice trailed off as he was lost in thought. “Could it be that you never realised? Never mind. It doesn’t matter now” he sighed.

At the thought of him killing your near friends without you knowing made you sob helplessly. He only started at you in confusion.

He clicked his tongue before he hauled you over his shoulder. “I need to ask Madame Ping for a tea pot it seems…” his voice a frustrated groan.

Zhongli

You had sought shelter at a kind older couple. You needed to regain your energy before you fled the city. The woman was kind and gladly cooked for you. She completely denied your help. You stayed at their house for two weeks before the older woman knocked at your bedroom door and told you a friend of her husband was coming to visit.

The atmosphere in the living room was as tense as it could get. In front of you were Zhongli. He was the friend the couple had spoken so warmly about. The brunette was sitting in the sofa besides the woman, one of his legs over the other. His hand elegantly holding a cup of tea. His reptile eyes staring you down intensely.

You felt like sinking into the floor. Your hands trembling as you took a sip of the tea. The bitter taste doing nothing to soothe your nerves.

“I don’t know if you are aware, but I and miss [Name] know each other’s very well” his smile sharp. To hear your husband speaking in such manner made your heart beat against your chest.

You knew it was unwise to go against Morax and his contracts, but you had no choice. He had tricked you into signing the contract that would imprison. Zhongli had terrified you before you knew of his identity as the Geo Archon, but when you found out about his identity you were absolutely petrified.

Zhongli hummed at a joke the man had told. His golden eyes never leaving yours. His lips twisted up into a grin which revealed his sharp fangs. With the golden light from the sunset outside he looked even more inhuman than ever before. You felt small and utterly helpless before him. You dreaded his punishment that you knew would income when he brought you back.

After an hour and an half had past Zhongli excused himself. “I must take my leave now. [Name] you should come with” his order clear as day. He smiled to the couple and bowed in courtesy.

You swallowed and nodded. You thanked the couple for their hospitality and left with Zhongli.

When you were out of earshot he turned to you. “A broken contract is no laughing matter my dear” his hand gripping yours. “I will make it clear to you when we get back who you belong to” his voice deep and determined.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Tesla's Dieselgate

Elon Musk lies a lot. He lies about being a “utopian socialist.” He lies about being a “free speech absolutist.” He lies about which companies he founded:

https://www.businessinsider.com/tesla-cofounder-martin-eberhard-interview-history-elon-musk-ev-market-2023-2 He lies about being the “chief engineer” of those companies:

https://www.quora.com/Was-Elon-Musk-the-actual-engineer-behind-SpaceX-and-Tesla

He lies about really stupid stuff, like claiming that comsats that share the same spectrum will deliver steady broadband speeds as they add more users who each get a narrower slice of that spectrum:

https://www.eff.org/wp/case-fiber-home-today-why-fiber-superior-medium-21st-century-broadband

The fundamental laws of physics don’t care about this bullshit, but people do. The comsat lie convinced a bunch of people that pulling fiber to all our homes is literally impossible — as though the electrical and phone lines that come to our homes now were installed by an ancient, lost civilization. Pulling new cabling isn’t a mysterious art, like embalming pharaohs. We do it all the time. One of the poorest places in America installed universal fiber with a mule named “Ole Bub”:

https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-one-traffic-light-town-with-some-of-the-fastest-internet-in-the-us

Previous tech barons had “reality distortion fields,” but Musk just blithely contradicts himself and pretends he isn’t doing so, like a budget Steve Jobs. There’s an entire site devoted to cataloging Musk’s public lies:

https://elonmusk.today/

But while Musk lacks the charm of earlier Silicon Valley grifters, he’s much better than they ever were at running a long con. For years, he’s been promising “full self driving…next year.”

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

He’s hasn’t delivered, but he keeps claiming he has, making Teslas some of the deadliest cars on the road:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/

Tesla is a giant shell-game masquerading as a car company. The important thing about Tesla isn’t its cars, it’s Tesla’s business arrangement, the Tesla-Financial Complex:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/24/no-puedo-pagar-no-pagara/#Rat

Once you start unpacking Tesla’s balance sheets, you start to realize how much the company depends on government subsidies and tax-breaks, combined with selling carbon credits that make huge, planet-destroying SUVs possible, under the pretense that this is somehow good for the environment:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/14/for-sale-green-indulgences/#killer-analogy

But even with all those financial shenanigans, Tesla’s got an absurdly high valuation, soaring at times to 1600x its profitability:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/15/hoover-calling/#intangibles

That valuation represents a bet on Tesla’s ability to extract ever-higher rents from its customers. Take Tesla’s batteries: you pay for the battery when you buy your car, but you don’t own that battery. You have to rent the right to use its full capacity, with Tesla reserving the right to reduce how far you go on a charge based on your willingness to pay:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/09/10/teslas-demon-haunted-cars-in-irmas-path-get-a-temporary-battery-life-boost/

That’s just one of the many rent-a-features that Tesla drivers have to shell out for. You don’t own your car at all: when you sell it as a used vehicle, Tesla strips out these features you paid for and makes the next driver pay again, reducing the value of your used car and transfering it to Tesla’s shareholders:

https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/6/21127243/tesla-model-s-autopilot-disabled-remotely-used-car-update

To maintain this rent-extraction racket, Tesla uses DRM that makes it a felony to alter your own car’s software without Tesla’s permission. This is the root of all autoenshittification:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

This is technofeudalism. Whereas capitalists seek profits (income from selling things), feudalists seek rents (income from owning the things other people use). If Telsa were a capitalist enterprise, then entrepreneurs could enter the market and sell mods that let you unlock the functionality in your own car:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/11/1-in-3/#boost-50

But because Tesla is a feudal enterprise, capitalists must first secure permission from the fief, Elon Musk, who decides which companies are allowed to compete with him, and how.

Once a company owns the right to decide which software you can run, there’s no limit to the ways it can extract rent from you. Blocking you from changing your device’s software lets a company run overt scams on you. For example, they can block you from getting your car independently repaired with third-party parts.

But they can also screw you in sneaky ways. Once a device has DRM on it, Section 1201 of the DMCA makes it a felony to bypass that DRM, even for legitimate purposes. That means that your DRM-locked device can spy on you, and because no one is allowed to explore how that surveillance works, the manufacturer can be incredibly sloppy with all the personal info they gather:

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/29/tesla-model-3-keeps-data-like-crash-videos-location-phone-contacts.html

All kinds of hidden anti-features can lurk in your DRM-locked car, protected from discovery, analysis and criticism by the illegality of bypassing the DRM. For example, Teslas have a hidden feature that lets them lock out their owners and summon a repo man to drive them away if you have a dispute about a late payment:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

DRM is a gun on the mantlepiece in Act I, and by Act III, it goes off, revealing some kind of ugly and often dangerous scam. Remember Dieselgate? Volkswagen created a line of demon-haunted cars: if they thought they were being scrutinized (by regulators measuring their emissions), they switched into a mode that traded performance for low emissions. But when they believed themselves to be unobserved, they reversed this, emitting deadly levels of NOX but delivering superior mileage.

The conversion of the VW diesel fleet into mobile gas-chambers wouldn’t have been possible without DRM. DRM adds a layer of serious criminal jeopardy to anyone attempting to reverse-engineer and study any device, from a phone to a car. DRM let Apple claim to be a champion of its users’ privacy even as it spied on them from asshole to appetite:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Now, Tesla is having its own Dieselgate scandal. A stunning investigation by Steve Stecklow and Norihiko Shirouzu for Reuters reveals how Tesla was able to create its own demon-haunted car, which systematically deceived drivers about its driving range, and the increasingly desperate measures the company turned to as customers discovered the ruse:

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/tesla-batteries-range/

The root of the deception is very simple: Tesla mis-sells its cars by falsely claiming ranges that those cars can’t attain. Every person who ever bought a Tesla was defrauded.

But this fraud would be easy to detect. If you bought a Tesla rated for 353 miles on a charge, but the dashboard range predictor told you that your fully charged car could only go 150 miles, you’d immediately figure something was up. So your Telsa tells another lie: the range predictor tells you that you can go 353 miles.

But again, if the car continued to tell you it has 203 miles of range when it was about to run out of charge, you’d figure something was up pretty quick — like, the first time your car ran out of battery while the dashboard cheerily informed you that you had 203 miles of range left.

So Teslas tell a third lie: when the battery charge reached about 50%, the fake range is replaced with the real one. That way, drivers aren’t getting mass-stranded by the roadside, and the scam can continue.

But there’s a new problem: drivers whose cars are rated for 353 miles but can’t go anything like that far on a full charge naturally assume that something is wrong with their cars, so they start calling Tesla service and asking to have the car checked over.

This creates a problem for Tesla: those service calls can cost the company $1,000, and of course, there’s nothing wrong with the car. It’s performing exactly as designed. So Tesla created its boldest fraud yet: a boiler-room full of anti-salespeople charged with convincing people that their cars weren’t broken.

This new unit — the “diversion team” — was headquartered in a Nevada satellite office, which was equipped with a metal xylophone that would be rung in triumph every time a Tesla owner was successfully conned into thinking that their car wasn’t defrauding them.

When a Tesla owner called this boiler room, the diverter would run remote diagnostics on their car, then pronounce it fine, and chide the driver for having energy-hungry driving habits (shades of Steve Jobs’s “You’re holding it wrong”):

https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/

The drivers who called the Diversion Team weren’t just lied to, they were also punished. The Tesla app was silently altered so that anyone who filed a complaint about their car’s range was no longer able to book a service appointment for any reason. If their car malfunctioned, they’d have to request a callback, which could take several days.

Meanwhile, the diverters on the diversion team were instructed not to inform drivers if the remote diagnostics they performed detected any other defects in the cars.

The diversion team had a 750 complaint/week quota: to juke this stat, diverters would close the case for any driver who failed to answer the phone when they were eventually called back. The center received 2,000+ calls every week. Diverters were ordered to keep calls to five minutes or less.

Eventually, diverters were ordered to cease performing any remote diagnostics on drivers’ cars: a source told Reuters that “Thousands of customers were told there is nothing wrong with their car” without any diagnostics being performed.

Predicting EV range is an inexact science as many factors can affect battery life, notably whether a journey is uphill or downhill. Every EV automaker has to come up with a figure that represents some kind of best guess under a mix of conditions. But while other manufacturers err on the side of caution, Tesla has the most inaccurate mileage estimates in the industry, double the industry average.

Other countries’ regulators have taken note. In Korea, Tesla was fined millions and Elon Musk was personally required to state that he had deceived Tesla buyers. The Korean regulator found that the true range of Teslas under normal winter conditions was less than half of the claimed range.

Now, many companies have been run by malignant narcissists who lied compulsively — think of Thomas Edison, archnemesis of Nikola Tesla himself. The difference here isn’t merely that Musk is a deeply unfit monster of a human being — but rather, that DRM allows him to defraud his customers behind a state-enforced opaque veil. The digital computers at the heart of a Tesla aren’t just demons haunting the car, changing its performance based on whether it believes it is being observed — they also allow Musk to invoke the power of the US government to felonize anyone who tries to peer into the black box where he commits his frauds.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

This Sunday (July 30) at 1530h, I’m appearing on a panel at Midsummer Scream in Long Beach, CA, to discuss the wonderful, award-winning “Ghost Post” Haunted Mansion project I worked on for Disney Imagineering.

Image ID [A scene out of an 11th century tome on demon-summoning called 'Compendium rarissimum totius Artis Magicae sistematisatae per celeberrimos Artis hujus Magistros. Anno 1057. Noli me tangere.' It depicts a demon tormenting two unlucky would-be demon-summoners who have dug up a grave in a graveyard. One summoner is held aloft by his hair, screaming; the other screams from inside the grave he is digging up. The scene has been altered to remove the demon's prominent, urinating penis, to add in a Tesla supercharger, and a red Tesla Model S nosing into the scene.]

Image: Steve Jurvetson (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tesla_Model_S_Indoors.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[saintobio]

sincerely yours. (11)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. depression, cheating, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships

notes. 12k wc. we're so close to the finale <3 thanks so much for the continued support and for the patience you guys have with this series :')

series masterlist -> episode twelve

For better and worse. 

Weddings are funny things. Despite the strict adherence to ceremonial traditions, they didn’t guarantee a happily ever after. Exchanging vows and the signing of marriage certificates could become meaningless when a couple faces challenges that would drive them apart. Consider the high-profile divorces of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, or Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Divorce had become so common that it almost seemed inevitable for many couples, even the ones with the most fairytale-like relationships. No one was safe from the idea of a divorce. So, was having a wedding really that important? Would it really define the quality and longevity of a relationship?

Satoru might have been thinking bitterly about it, given that his own marriage wasn’t exactly a shining success. However, he was also being rational when he said that weddings weren’t necessary to prove your love for each other. Early in his marriage, he certainly wasn’t the best husband, but over time, he learned to genuinely become a good partner to his ex-wife. There was no specific time frame for loving someone. You could be together for weeks, months, or years, yet the depth of love you share might remain unchanged. This constancy can be either a blessing or a curse, depending on how deep your love was from the beginning.

Well… On the topic of marriages, Satoru had no good thing to say. But that didn’t mean he shouldn’t participate in it. Weddings were still considered a special celebration for families and close friends, and He would be selfish not to share in such a beautiful event with his best friends. Besides, wasn’t it always expected that Suguru and Shoko would end up marrying each other? They were lucky—fortunate because their marriage was built on a foundation of genuine love. In contrast, Satoru’s marriage began out of convenience, which ultimately led to all the terrible things that followed.

As the best man, Satoru strode confidently alongside Suguru down the aisle, both adorned in princely tuxedos, drawing the eyes of the guests as they followed their procession. There were teasing remarks, smiles all around, and even a comment from one of the groom’s female cousins about how handsome they both looked. Despite the gentle commotion, Satoru understood why Suguru remained nervous as they reached the end of the aisle. He comfortingly stood by his side, offered a reassuring pat on the back, silently communicating to his best friend that everything would be alright.

“Don’t tell me you’ll back out now,” Satoru jested, whispering in Suguru’s ear as they observed the guests entering in accordance with the processional order.

Suguru, with his once long hair now neatly trimmed and slicked back, cleared his throat in an attempt to appear less anxious. “What if she gets cold feet?” 

Gojou couldn’t help but tease. “Shoko? You really think she’d have cold feet?” he chuckled. “She’d be the one dragging your ass back to this garden if you tried to run away.”

“Fair enough.” 

Just the night before, they had checked into the Hoshinoya Fuji to celebrate Suguru's last night of freedom. While there was drinking involved, one of the groomsmen insisted it wouldn’t be a proper bachelor’s party without some female company. So, inevitably, there were women in the hotel room, one of whom even gave Suguru a lap dance even though he showed no interest whatsoever. It was amusing to Satoru, considering his best friend used to be the biggest casanova, and now he was a committed and loyal man who, not only was terrified out of his wits on his wedding day, but was also afraid that the one woman he loved might run away from him.

Such genuine, pure love. 

As Satoru pondered, his gaze landed on Akemi, who was seated a couple of rows back among the other guests. She had just arrived, her hair tied elegantly in a low ponytail and her silky sage dress accentuating her womanly figure flawlessly. She was wearing the diamond Tiffany & Co. earrings he had gifted her, which made her stand out among the rest of the people in that garden. Their eyes also met at the perfect moment, her gaze sparkling upon seeing Satoru in his tuxedo. He offered her a smile, one that silently conveyed ‘I’ll be there with you later,’ and she immediately understood. 

How fortunate was Satoru to have her? Perhaps the reason for her late appearance was because she had been looking after Sachiro back home, fulfilling the duties that his ex-wife should have been doing. She was truly a mother who stepped up, especially during a time when both he and his son felt most abandoned.

And what about you? Who knew if you would even attend the wedding? You were meant to be Ieiri’s maid-of-honor, yet you were conspicuously absent. Perhaps you were still in Monaco, enjoying your time playing house with Toji, making a wedding like this seem insignificant to you. You would have informed Miwa in advance and picked up Sachiro if you had returned to Tokyo, right? Suguru also hadn’t mentioned anything about your arrival at the accommodation, hinting that someone else would have to step in as Shoko's maid-of-honor.

But who would it be? Shoko’s cousin? One of her other female co-workers? Her high school friend? 

“Look, mom! She’s beautiful~”

Satoru was rendered speechless, utterly captivated by the sight before him. His fingers tingled with anticipation, his heart raced in his chest, his feet felt rooted to the ground, and his eyes remained fixed on the next lady gracefully making her way down the aisle. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what struck him the most: was it the sight of you in a stunning light green dress, resembling an angel descended from the heavens, or was it the haunting reminder of his own wedding day, when you walked down the same aisle as his most beautiful bride?

His breath caught in his throat, his chest tightening with each step you took down the aisle. Satoru felt like a statue, frozen in place, unable to tear his gaze away from you. You had become the sole focus of his attention, the rest of the world fading into a blur around him. He couldn’t comprehend it. Why was it so effortless for him to let his guard down around you?

This woman, he thought. This woman is Sachiro’s mother. This was the same woman that carried his flesh and blood for nine months, now appearing as radiant as a freshly bloomed flower, as if untouched by the stresses of unexpected motherhood. What had transpired in Monaco to transform you into this vision of beauty?

“You’re drooling.” Suguru nudged him on the chest. “This isn’t your wedding. You had your chance.” 

Yes, he was well aware. This wasn’t his wedding, and he needed to maintain composure. Yet, it felt as though he was being drawn inexorably towards the mesmerizing goddess before him. With each beat of his heart quickening, he struggled to remind himself: No, Satoru. She's nothing to you now.

And because he was lost in a trance, he remained oblivious to the bride’s entrance and even Suguru’s emotional reaction to seeing his bride. His attention was solely fixated on you as he stole glances your way whenever he could. It wasn’t until the exchanging of rings, when you two had to stand side by side to assist the bride and groom, that he snapped back to reality. With you so close yet seemingly distant, Satoru felt a pang of disappointment as you never returned his gaze. The whispers and side comments from the guests also added to his discomfort, making him acutely aware of the scrutiny placed upon the best man and maid-of-honor.

“Aren’t they divorced?”

“Yeah, their marriage was a wreck.” 

“They’re bad luck. I hope they don’t pass it onto the couple.”  

For the first time in a long time, Satoru was gripped by an unprecedented desire to retort, to refute the misconceptions surrounding his marriage. Yet, he knew it was futile. Engaging in a verbal sparring match with another guest would only ruin his best friends' special day. Moreover, he might risk causing unintentional hurt to Akemi by defending a marriage that had long ceased to exist. So, despite the internal turmoil, he remained silent, allowing the whispers to persist unchecked.

And, with that, the wedding ceremony ended. Shoko and Suguru were now declared husband and wife. 

— — 

The reception was a time for socializing, enjoying drinks and hors d’oeuvres, and congratulating the newlyweds. For Suguru and Shoko, this part of the celebration felt effortless and their energies were seamlessly complementing each other’s. Unlike arranged marriages, there was no sense of haste or coercion; theirs was a union born of genuine affection. You couldn’t help but feel foolish for ever entertaining the notion that this was merely a conventional wedding experience. Here, before your eyes, unfolded a true celebration of love between two people.

Did Satoru share the same sentiments? You wondered what thoughts raced through his mind during the proceedings. Did the event trigger memories of his own past, or stir feelings of longing for what could have been?

You refused to subject yourself to the torment of dwelling on your past. If anything, your time living alone in Monaco had been a crucial step in your healing journey. While the process was far from complete, that solitary retreat had provided a much-needed respite from the source of your stress. It afforded you the opportunity to contemplate the life you were destined to lead, albeit alone for the foreseeable future.

By allowing Sachiro to spend more time with his father, you not only facilitated the rebuilding of their fractured relationship, but also acclimated your child to your absence. It was a necessary adjustment, one that would prepare him for the reality of your impending solitary existence. At least, Sachiro had a chance to live in a loving household with Satoru and Akemi, instead of a miserable and lonely way of living together with you. 

In the end, it was all for your child. 

As for the potential emotional minefield of attending this wedding, you were there for Shoko, who had always been a steadfast and understanding presence in your life. Her genuine friendship meant more to you than mere familial bonds ever could. Even at the risk of stirring up unhealthy emotions by being in a room full of people who hurt you, you couldn’t bear to disappoint Ieiri. 

Admittedly though, navigating the wedding crowd was a delicate balance of warmth and formality. Ieiri’s side of the family, who were doctors heavily acquainted with your family, greeted you with genuine warmth. While Suguru’s relatives, who were more closely tied to the Gojou family, maintained a polite distance. Although there were occasional moments of discomfort, you knew how to maintain composure throughout. 

As for Toji’s absence, while a part of you wished he could have been there as a supportive presence, you also recognized the value in learning to handle situations involving your ex-husband independently. He had an unavoidable business trip, but that also provided an opportunity for you to stop relying on him and navigate such occasions like these on your own. He was nothing more than a friend now. 

While that ex-husband, Satoru, was here with your best friend. It didn’t surprise you that he had brought Akemi as a plus one. In fact, you had expected it to happen. It just wasn’t the best feeling to be the maid-of-honor when the best man clearly had another lady for it in mind. 

It was quite amusing, too. Not once had Akemi approached you during the reception. You understood that she wanted to keep her distance, but you found it disrespectful that she was ignoring your existence. Was she scared to talk to you? Scared of what you had to say? You had heard over a million hurtful things from other people, yet she was afraid to hear a few pieces of advice from you?  

Forget it. Forget her and Satoru. Focus on the reception, Y/N. 

But really, how could you? As the moment arrived for the newlyweds’ first dance, tradition dictated that the best man and maid-of-honor should also take to the floor. You sensed the tension in the air as Satoru hesitated, surrounded by urging groomsmen, deciding whether or not he should ask you for a dance. He looked like he was battling with what was right and wrong in his mind, yet ultimately he chose to pass by you, extending his hand to Akemi instead.

It wasn’t feelings of shame that slapped you to reality. It was seeing Satoru holding Akemi’s hand, another on her waist, as they slowly danced to Can’t Help Falling In Love, a song that was played on your wedding day. 

Take my hand

Take my whole life too

Oh, for I can’t help

Falling in love with you

It shouldn’t hurt anymore. You were doing better. You were doing so good, you were doing… you were okay. You should be okay. Or did you overestimate your emotions a little too much? Because this, seeing the man you loved with all your heart holding another woman in his arms, was tortuous to your soul. You could feel the pains of your past tugging at your heart, wondering why he never danced like that with you on your wedding day? Why he never stared at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world, why he never showed you off in a room full of curious people, why he never respected you enough to treat you with such… with such love. 

“Everything okay?”

You didn’t expect Nanami, out of all people, to be offering you a handkerchief. You hadn’t even realized that your eyes were already pooling of the tears if he had not cut you out of trance, offering a comforting and sympathetic smile. You had to blink multiple times just to push your tears back in. 

“Yeah,” you answered with a grateful expression. I’m strong. I’ll be fine. “Thank you.” 

Nanami took that as a sign to offer his hand. “Care for a dance, then?” 

Wiping your eyes, you nodded, smiling at the man. “Why not?” 

After the dance, the reception continued as follows. The cake cutting, the dinner service, then the toasts and speeches. If it wasn’t for Nanami, you wouldn’t have been able to pick yourself back up after the humiliation of seeing Satoru and Akemi dancing together. You just needed a decent amount of air to breathe and gather yourself together again. It was a nice help from someone who wasn’t a personal acquaintance of yours, that despite being Satoru’s right hand man in the company, Nanami still had some kindness in him that you would forever be thankful for. 

And when it was time for you to do your speech as the MOH, you didn’t let a single vulnerable emotion slip out of you. For that short moment, you tried not to think about who was in the audience, about what they thought of you, and about what other preconceived notions they had of you. You focused on the newlyweds as you stood in front of the mic stand, eye-to-eye with Shoko and Suguru, who were holding each other’s hands. 

“Shoko,” you began, smiling genuinely at the couple, “Through the laughter and tears, you’ve been my constant, my confidante, my rock. And today, as I watch you embark on this new chapter of your life, I’m honestly a bit overwhelmed with emotion.” 

The bride returned your smile, and you can tell Shoko was holding back tears of her own as she glanced between you and Satoru. 

You continued your speech, observing Suguru’s supportive gesture towards his wife as you spoke. “Shoko, I recall our late-night conversations, the tears shed over broken marriages, and the pain of shattered relationships. Yet, through it all, you’ve remained steadfast in your belief in love, in hope, in the possibility of a happily ever after.” Turning to Suguru, although he still had that lingering discomfort around you, you offered him nothing but heartfelt words. “As I look at you and Suguru, I’m reminded that true love exists—a love that is patient, kind, and enduring. My wish for you both is a lifetime filled with laughter, joy, and unwavering support for each other. May you cherish each other’s hearts, protect each other’s dreams, and weather life’s storms together, stronger in your love. Suguru, during your challenging days as a married couple, I pray that you always look at Shoko and remember why you love her. I pray that you will always have the capacity to cherish and respect her as your wife and the future mother of your children. May you keep her in your heart, no matter what challenges may come your way.”

As tears welled in Ieiri’s eyes, your voice faltered, the magnitude of your wishes for their marriage weighing heavily on your own unfulfilled desires. You weren’t trying to make this about you, and you hoped they thought that, too. 

“As I raise my glass to toast this beautiful union,” you said, raising the champagne glass on your hand, “I do so with a heart full of love and a silent prayer—that your love story will be one of triumph, of healing, and of endless happiness. Congratulations, Shoko and Suguru!”

— —

Satoru was deeply affected by your speech. Both in good and bad ways. On one hand, he was touched by the sincerity of your words and the genuine wishes you extended to the newlywed couple. On the other hand, he couldn’t shake off the pang of guilt and remorse that accompanied your words, knowing all too well the history behind them. When you expressed your hopes for Suguru to always cherish and respect Shoko, Satoru couldn’t help but reflect on his own behavior during your marriage and the ways in which he may have fallen short.

Each action he did definitely had a lasting impact on you. 

But what about the good ones? Had you forgotten about the times he treated you well? Had you forgotten the lengths he took just to prove to you that he was a changed man? That at one point in his life, he would do everything in him just to show you how much he loved you? 

It was unfair. Why did you only ever look at the bad things he did and never the good ones? Why did you still see him as a villain in your marriage when he knew he had paid his dues after he lost you?

It was truly, honestly unfair, that you get to be happy with Toji, but he ought to feel guilty for being with Akemi. 

“I think they’re about to do the bouquet and garter toss,” spoke Akemi, tugging at Satoru’s arm while they sat on their designated table. She held a napkin on her other hand to wipe her partner’s chin, smiling in excitement. “You should go and join.” 

Where were you? After your speech, Satoru couldn’t seem to find you anymore. Where had you gone off to? Did you leave already? 

“Y-Yeah,” Satoru answered, looking around the venue before turning to Akemi. “What about you? Won’t you join the bouquet toss thing?” 

She shook her head, hesitantly. “Isn’t it only for bridesmaids?” 

He grabbed her hand and urged her up. “No, it’s for all unmarried female guests. Come on.” 

The reason Satoru dragged her along was because Akemi loved weddings, and she especially enjoyed the traditions that came with it. She herself once dreamt about the picture perfect wedding, but never got to fully have her own, so attending such occasions made up for the lack of personally experiencing it. 

Gojou couldn’t exactly remember if he did the garter toss in his own wedding. If so, who had caught it? Who had caught your bouquet? His eyes swept across the entire venue once more, searching for your familiar figure among the guests. He was too occupied to realize that Shoko had already tossed her bouquet, and the frenzy of eager ladies ensued until it landed in Akemi’s hands.

He genuinely felt happy for Akemi. The joy in her eyes upon catching Shoko’s bouquet was unmistakable. Yet, as the playful teasing about a potential wedding for him shifted in his direction, Satoru couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pressure. It wasn’t supposed to weigh on him like this. It was too soon to have that expectation of him. 

“Looks like someone’s getting married next!”

And while he was feeling suffocated from the pressure placed upon him, the receiver of the tossed garter happened to have been Nanami. 

Immediately, the teasing ensued, with the other guests urging Nanami to wear the garter on Akemi’s leg. Out of respect, Nanami looked at Gojou for permission, but honestly? He was just grateful he didn’t have to do all that and be pressured about another wedding that he had not yet thought about. Fuck it, thank God Nanami had caught the garter because Satoru was sure as hell starting to feel uneasy there. 

“Go for it,” was the only thing Satoru said to Nanami, gesturing his chin at Akemi’s direction. 

While everyone was focused on the situation between Nanami and Akemi, Satoru took that opportunity to escape from the crowd and find his peace at the balcony. He hastily made his way out of the reception hall, feeling a sense of relief as he could finally breathe. 

And there you were, standing alone, lost in contemplation, and your gaze fixed upon the tranquil expanse of the lakeside. The chill breeze caressed your hair softly, as if mirroring the calm that enveloped your countenance. In another universe, this would have been an opportune moment to hug you from behind, sharing the warmth of his embrace around your figure. But he was living in a universe where you and him weren’t meant to be together.

In fact, you were probably thinking about another man as you stared at the lake, hoping that he was there with you. 

“Did you have fun in Monaco with Toji?” Satoru was crazy for going straight to the point, and he knew it was a blunt inquiry, bordering on intrusive, but it tumbled out nonetheless, revealing the thoughts that had been plaguing in his mind. His words spilled out before he could rein them in, a question born of curiosity and perhaps a touch of jealousy.

As for you, with your peace in the balcony now ruined, you briefly opened your mouth to respond, but held back against it as you met Gojou’s eyes with a distant stare. You were even quick to look away and sigh, like he was not worth the conversation. You had not spoken a word to him since the wedding ceremony and you were definitely going to keep doing it. 

And man, did that hurt his ego. 

So, for a very stupid reason, he felt the need to hurt yours in return. “Do you know Sachi calls Akemi ‘mama’ in his sleep?” 

Your eyes remained empty. “Good for you, then. You won’t have a hard time getting him accustomed to it.” 

“Y/N.” Satoru’s voice came out as a warning, and he was about to start an argument on why you were abandoning him and Sachi over Toji, but he was interrupted at the appearance of Akemi carrying Shoko’s bouquet as she tried to search for her lover. This meant that the conversation with the ex-wife was over.

But as he glanced between you and Akemi, his bitter past and his sweet present, why did Satoru’s heart still lingered with you when it shouldn’t?

“You should go,” you briefly muttered, walking in the opposite direction, “Your future wife’s looking for you.”

Satoru’s sudden grip on your wrist halted your steps abruptly. His voice carried a bitter edge as he reminded you of the agreement you had made. “Y/N, we agreed to co-parent Sachiro properly. Why are you choosing Toji over your own son?” 

The accusation left a tense atmosphere, eliciting a sharp response from you as you yanked your hand away, a flash of anger igniting in your eyes. “You have no idea what you're talking about, Satoru.”

— —

“Welcome to Hoshinoya Fuji, Ms. L/N!” 

You stepped out of the car, taking in the serene beauty of the lakeside cabin that would be your sanctuary for the next three days and two nights. Nestled among towering pines and sturdy oaks, the cabin exuded a rustic charm that blended seamlessly with the natural landscape. Its weathered wooden exterior, adorned with a green tin roof, seemed to have grown organically from the earth itself.

The cabin sat on a gentle slope that led directly to the water’s edge. A wooden deck wrapped around the front, offering a perfect vantage point for gazing out over the tranquil lake. Your room also had the best view of Mount Fuji, which you thought was the highlight of this luxurious accommodation. 

After the newlywed send-off, you were quickly ushered in by Shoko and Suguru’s staff, who were in charge of attending to the special guests staying a few extra days at the cabin. Though the couple wouldn’t start their proper honeymoon until their 6-month long cruise trip in two weeks, they wanted their guests to enjoy the accommodations they had arranged. You were relieved to hear that, despite Satoru and Akemi also being among the friends staying, each guest had their own private cabin reserved.

The thing was, you could leave any time if you wanted to. Shoko also reassured you that it would be okay and that she would understand if you wanted to go home right away. She knew that the situation may be uncomfortable for you, and that she felt bad you even had to deal with it during the ceremony, but you made a promise to her. You were her maid-of-honor for a reason, and part of your duty was to help with the post-ceremony tasks to ensure that Shoko can focus on enjoying her pre and post-wedding activities. 

So, in some ways, you felt obliged to stay. You didn’t need to interact much with others during your stay, anyway. You were content staying in your room, perhaps taking some occasional walks outside. Satoru could do whatever he wanted with Akemi; you were determined to avoid crossing their paths.

Besides, inside the cabin was a cozy retreat. The main living area featured large windows that framed the picturesque view, allowing moonlight to spill in and illuminate the space. A stone fireplace, complete with a rustic mantel adorned with pinecones and candles, stood as the centerpiece of the room. Plush armchairs and a worn leather sofa invited relaxation, while a handwoven rug added a touch of warmth and color.

As you moved towards the bedroom, you found a comfortable queen-sized bed covered in a soft, plaid quilt. The scent of pine mingled with the faint aroma of fresh linens, creating an atmosphere of peaceful haven. An old-fashioned dresser and a bedside table, topped with a simple lamp, completed the room. The windows here, too, offered a glimpse of the sparkling lake, ensuring that the beauty of nature would greet you each morning.

Stepping outside, you walked down a short path to the water’s edge, where a small wooden dock extended into the lake. A pair of Adirondack chairs sat invitingly at the end of the dock, perfect for soaking in the sunset or stargazing at night. Nearby, a fire pit surrounded by stones and logs as seating promised cozy evenings under the stars, with the gentle sound of lapping water providing a soothing backdrop.

On your first night there, you ended up falling asleep right away. The physical and emotional exhaustion, combined with jetlag, knocked you out. However, the next day promised a few tasks to complete the post-wedding cleanup. 

The second night, however, was a different story.

When you returned to the cabin, the cool evening air was crisp against your skin. The temperature went down a couple of celsius compared to yesterday, so as you walked down the path toward the lakeside, you were drawn to the flickering glow of a fire pit illuminating the area near the water’s edge. Drawing closer, the soft sounds of laughter and conversation reached your ears, mingling with the gentle crackle of burning logs.

The fire pit was surrounded by a group, their faces lit by the warm, golden light of the flames. They sat on a circle of logs and foldable chairs, leaning in to feel the comforting heat. Some held mugs of steaming cocoa, while others toasted marshmallows on long sticks, their tips glowing bright orange before transforming into gooey, sugary treats.

You paused for a moment and took in the scene. Was it a safe space for you to be in? You noticed familiar faces among the group—some of the couple’s old friends from the wedding, now relaxed and enjoying the peaceful night. One of the guests strummed a guitar softly, the melody adding to the cozy, inviting atmosphere. Another guest told a story, their animated expressions and gestures causing bursts of laughter from the listeners.

There was no sight of Satoru and Akemi. Perhaps, it might be okay to join in.

As you approached, Suguru emerged from a nearby cabin, smiling in a way that felt unusual. Why was he being friendly all of a sudden? Last time you checked, he still held a grudge against you. But now, he showed no signs of antagonism, and was even approaching you with his usual friendly demeanor.

“Y/N,” he said, the fog of his breath visible in the cold air, “I never got to thank you properly for helping us with everything here. I didn’t think you’d make it last minute.”

You wrapped your shawl tighter around yourself to ward off the chill. “It’s no trouble. I’m glad to help out and be here for you guys,” you replied warmly. And while glancing around, you noticed the absence of Shoko. “Where’s the missus?”

Suguru’s smile took on a mischievous edge. “Sleeping. She’s still pretty tired and…”

You interrupted him with a laugh, catching onto his suggestive tone. “Alright, you two. You’re wild.”

His grin softened into a sincere expression. “No, seriously. I never got to properly thank you. I never got to apologize to you either.” Suguru looked down with guilt. “I’m sorry for being an asshole to you. I was focusing too much on Satoru’s point-of-view, dismissing how it must be like to be in your position amidst all that mess. Shoko helped me understand why you made certain decisions, why you had no other option. She helped me see things from your perspective, to realize the extent of your suffering. We all knew that, I guess. We all knew you were constantly dealt a bad hand, yet you remain kind and resilient. You continue to show empathy to others, even when the world hasn’t been fair to you.”

In the ensuing silence, your heart seemed to thunder in your chest. His words carried weight far beyond what he might have intended, and you genuinely appreciated his apology. Even if he didn’t need to say them. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re a gem, Y/N.” Suguru gave your back a gentle pat. “You deserve to be happy in your own special way. And just like how you wished us well with our marriage, I hope you’ll find your own path to a happy marriage, too.” 

“Thank you,” you mumbled, looking down with a forlorn smile. 

“We’re here for you, okay?” he offered, “Shoko and I. You can count on us if you need us, if you need help with Sachiro, if you need help with life in general.” 

“I appreciate it, really.” 

And by then, he cleared his throat, opening up a topic that caught you off guard. You didn’t expect it from Suguru out of all people. “Y/N, I know why you were in Monaco.” 

Of course. He’d know it from Shoko. 

“I also know,” he continued, dark narrow eyes staring straight at yours, “why you left Sachiro with his father.” 

You were a deer caught in the headlights. You wouldn’t say it felt invasive to have someone be aware of the reasoning behind your personal decisions, but it was just an altogether different feeling to know that it was your ex-husband’s best friend who knew. 

“Why didn’t you tell him?” he asked, referring to Satoru, “That you broke up with Toji?” 

You took a deep breath. “I don’t see the point of telling him.”

“What if I were to tell you that he’d come running desperately to you the moment he finds out?” he posed another burning question. “You still love him, right? You and him would likely get together without much difficulty if he were aware. So, why hesitate?”

“Because I don’t want that,” you answered, feeling words caught in your throat in a moment of vulnerability. “Because I’m scared to get back with him. Because he has Akemi now. Because I don’t wanna keep ruining the lives of the people around me. We’re better off this way, Suguru. I don’t want to mess up the second time around, and I definitely don’t think Satoru would be able to fully move on with his life with me still in the picture. He seems to be happy with Akemi already.” 

Suguru smiled sadly. “You don’t even wanna get your revenge? Don’t wanna get back at your best friend for dating your ex?” he paused to correct himself, “Well, dating is the wrong term. Satoru insists they’re not exclusive, you know?” 

You shook your head, sighing. Satoru, you haven’t changed. “It doesn’t matter. I’m fine with the way things are.” 

He was on the verge of continuing, poised to persuade further, but the arrival of the very individuals in question brought an abrupt halt to his words. Descending the cabin steps was Shoko, trailed by Satoru, who, in a gesture of warmth, had draped his jacket around Akemi, with his arms encircling her.

All five of you found yourselves in an awkward situation, now faced with two couples, one of which was at the core of your distress. The tension was palpable, and it didn’t help that Satoru’s vivid blue eyes met yours, seemingly trying to decode the conversation between you and Suguru. That was none of his business. He could continue his affectionate display with Akemi, while you had other matters to attend to than be part of an awkward quintet.

“I should go,” you declared, avoiding eye contact with everyone, unwilling to play the fifth wheel. You were hoping to evade Satoru and Akemi’s presence, but both Shoko and Suguru already caught your arm. 

“Y/N, please,” Shoko urged, her arm reaching out to you. “Don't isolate yourself tonight. Come join us.”

The memory of Bora Bora flooded your mind, a painful reminder of a similar situation when Shoko had extended the same invitation, leading to the discomfort of witnessing Sera’s closeness with Satoru. You knew that wasn’t Shoko’s intention, but it was your ex-husband who couldn’t stop catching himself in these situations. 

This was a bad idea. You knew that. 

So, why did you agree? 

Despite your reservations, curiosity got the best of you. You would vehemently deny it if asked, but deep down, you pondered whether Suguru’s words held any truth about Satoru’s lingering feelings for you. It wasn’t out of pettiness, but rather a desire to confirm if Satoru was truly committed to Akemi. You knew this could potentially hurt you, but after enduring so much pain, you couldn’t imagine anything worse.

“Hey, you guys!” 

“It’s nice of you to join us!” 

“What’s up newlyweds?” 

Upon joining the group at the fireplace, you were partly grateful that you weren’t exactly a fifth wheel in the situation. There were about ten or twelve people in total, with the earlier group still remaining in their seats. It just so happened that you were seated right across your ex-husband, who was too busy trying to keep Akemi warm and cozy. 

“So, Y/N…” spoke a man from the group, who appeared to be Suguru’s colleague. “Are you single?” 

The unexpected question caught you off guard, especially the tension it seemed to create, particularly with Satoru who sat stiffly next to Akemi. Even Shoko and Suguru seemed apologetic for their friend’s behavior, but you brushed it off, recognizing that he had probably indulged a bit too much with beer. He was harmless enough when sober.

“Don’t be asking questions like that,” Suguru intervened, tapping the back of his friend’s head in a playful scold. “That’s rude.” 

The friend protested, still oblivious to the discomfort he had caused. “I was just asking! She’s attractive. I have the right to know.”

You forced a smile, accepting the can of beer he had offered. “Thanks, but I—”

“Even if she’s single, she’s not interested in you,” Shoko chimed in, keeping a casual mien. She had to keep things cool, especially with an explosive Gojou around. You were just thankful that she didn’t exactly reveal the status of your relationship with Toji, and that she was doing her best to divert the attention away from you. 

In this little scene, you caught a glimpse of Akemi tugging at Satoru’s arm, like she was uncomfortable with the conversation. Why? Did it trigger an insecurity within her? She couldn’t even return eye-contact, constantly avoiding your eyes and reacting to any conversation remotely related to you. But Satoru was there acting like a concerned boyfriend, whispering reassurance into her ear, and rubbing her knee in a comforting fashion. 

“You two make a lovely couple,” remarked one of the girls, directing her compliment to Satoru and Akemi.“Weren’t you the girl who caught the bouquet? Looks like there might be another wedding on the horizon.”

“Oooh!” 

“They’re an attractive couple, too.” 

“You guys planning for any children?” 

Just like Bora Bora. A bitter smile lingered on your face, but you decided not to look at Satoru anymore. He must be enjoying this. 

Shoko leaned in and placed an arm around you to whisper her apologies. “I’m sorry, Y/N. This was a bad idea.” 

“It’s okay,” you assured, not wanting to ruin the moment. “I’ll leave after I finish my beer so it won’t be awkward.” 

As the night wore on, conversation flowed easily at first, with everyone exchanging stories and laughter, and eventually more beers and liquor were passed around. Shoko and Suguru were lost in the glow of newlywed bliss, while you found yourself increasingly uneasy as memories of the past mingled with the present.

Satoru’s presence beside Akemi was a constant reminder of your failed marriage, and you struggled to suppress the weakness in your chest that threatened to surface. They held hands and watched the fire together, her head resting on his shoulder, his lips on top of her head. She was trying to voice out a specific concern to him, and he was sweetly listening to her. Did they even realize the ex-wife was in the same area with them? It was insensitive. You never knew Satoru could be this insensitive around you, no matter what his reasons were, his romantic gestures towards her was a clear slap to your face. And he succeeded, because you would be foolish not to admit that it broke your heart in half to witness him choosing another woman over you. 

Again, Satoru. Here we go again. You tried to stop the pounding on your chest. Here we fucking are the second time around. 

Desperate to ease the tension, Shoko and Suguru attempted to steer the conversation toward lighter topics, but their efforts only served to highlight the underlying tension in the air. You forced a smile and nodded along with the conversation, but inside, your heart was heavy with unresolved emotions.

And then someone had to bring up that stupid truth or dare game. 

“Satoru-kun, I dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this group.” 

“Whoo! Do it! Do it! Do it!” 

Satoru was initially hesitant as he clearly found himself at a crossroads. He had two options here. Should he risk hurting Akemi by refusing to kiss her? Or should he risk hurting you by kissing another woman in front of you?

The clear winner was Akemi, because as soon as Gojou pressed his lips onto hers, you were already walking out of there. You had already excused yourself from the group, your footsteps as heavy as your heart. And unbeknownst to you, Satoru watched you go with a flicker of remorse in his eyes, but it was too late for apologies or second chances. The fire continued to crackle and pop as you left, its flames casting long shadows across the empty space where you had sat.

It was game over. Satoru had won his game. 

— —

Satoru was puzzled by your behavior since the wedding. You seemed determined to avoid him, which made sense with Akemi constantly by his side, but there was also an air of desperation to your avoidance. What baffled him even more was the jealousy you exhibited, as if you weren’t involved with another man, to the point where you even flew to another country just to spend more time with him. 

Like you said, you two were no longer married. It was about time you moved on. Yet, how come you were acting heartbroken over seeing Satoru with another woman?

Did you really think leaving the fire pit so abruptly had gone unnoticed?

Did you really think he had taken his eyes off you?

If not for Akemi telling him that she was having pelvic cramps, Gojou would have run off to follow you the minute you left the fire pit. Clearly, you still had an issue seeing him with another girl and he wanted you to voice it out. But if there was anything he learned during your time together, you would never be the first one to admit that you were jealous. Heck, didn’t you even allow him to bring Sera to Bora Bora that one time?

Look, he didn’t want to hurt you all over again. And if you had walked up to him and called him an asshole for having Akemi around, he would even agree with you. But it was your decision to choose Toji, it was your request for Satoru to find someone else, so why did it seem like you were suddenly changing your mind?

“I’m sorry for being a party pooper,” Akemi groaned in discomfort as Gojou helped her back to their cabin. He quickly refocused on their conversation, reminding himself not to dwell on thoughts of you when Akemi needed his attention—it wouldn’t be fair to her. She was suffering from a terrible illness that he wouldn’t wish upon anyone and he had to be her rock. “It’s been hurting quite a bit lately. I really should start with my treatment.”

Once inside their room, he swiftly settled her into bed. “Where does it hurt?” He applied a gentle touch to her pelvic bone, massaging the area to alleviate her discomfort. “Here?”

“Mhm. Thank you,” she lightly spoke, her soft hand caressing his cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

“You look really pale, though. I’m worried,” he remarked, sympathizing with her. Her complexion betrayed the pain she was holding back, though she likely hesitated to admit she wanted to go home and rest. “Do you wanna go home? Even if it’s in the middle of the night, I can have my driver pick us up.”

She shook her head quickly. “No, no. Please, I'll be fine. You won't get to see Shoko and Suguru for a while once they’re on their honeymoon, so I want you to spend time with them here.”

“You sure? But you always come first.” 

“I’ll be okay.” 

As Satoru continued to massage the area where Akemi felt pain, his thoughts inevitably drifted to you. He recalled the time when you were pregnant with Sachiro, experiencing frequent lower abdominal pain as your body adjusted to the baby. Each night, Satoru stayed up, gently rubbing your belly until you drifted off to sleep. It was one of his happiest memories during your marriage—the domestic bliss of being your husband and the memory of him caring for his wife. He wasn’t sure if he was missing it, or if he was just recalling a past memory, but looking at Akemi, Satoru wondered if he was prepared to have all that again but with another woman. 

He couldn’t give himself an answer. 

“I’m such a terrible person.” 

He should be telling himself that, but it was Akemi who said those words out loud as her brown doe-eyes stared at him solemnly, an expression that reflected guilt and remorse in equal measure. 

“How come?” Satoru’s voice was barely above a whisper as he asked, gently tucking the sheets around her while perching on the edge of the bed.

Her smile held a touch of sorrow, yet there was a glimmer of relief in her eyes. “I feel like I’ve failed Y/N. She treated me like family, like a sister, and now I can’t even face her properly. I’m just terrified, you know? I don’t want to keep letting her down. I never meant to cause her pain.”

For a moment, Gojou fell silent at her admission. “It’s all my fault. You two never would have been in this position if it wasn’t for me.” 

“Absolutely not,” Akemi persisted before leaning in to plant a tender kiss on his cheek. “Tonight, you’ve shown me that you’ve truly moved on from her. I was starting to worry, afraid that I could never fill the space she held in your heart. But since the wedding, you’ve never sidelined me or made me feel like an afterthought. You’ve never made me feel like second best. You’ve always prioritized me. I understand it’s hard seeing your ex-wife, but I appreciate your efforts more than you know. You make me feel incredibly special.”

Satoru swallowed hard. The mention of your name sent a pang of guilt coursing through his chest. He knew he had hurt Akemi with his lingering attachment to his past and his inability to fully let go of the woman who had once held his heart in her hands. He wanted to agree with Akemi, to reassure her that he had chosen her, but the truth remained elusive, buried beneath layers of denial and self-deception. He even had to close his eyes for a minute, unable to meet her gaze as a tumult of conflicting emotions swirled within him. He wanted to tell her the truth, to confess the depth of his feelings for his ex-wife, but the words were caught in his throat.

In that moment, Satoru felt more lost and alone than ever before, trapped in a web of his own making, and unable to confront the truth behind his true feelings. Moved on? Had he truly moved on from you, or had he simply buried his feelings beneath a facade of indifference?

“You should rest your eyes,” was the only thing he could tell her, planting a kiss on her forehead before he had turned off the lights. 

With the clock ticking past 11 o’clock and their recent conversation still echoing in his mind, Satoru felt an urgent need for clarity. He knew he had to confront his thoughts alone. So, without disturbing Akemi’s peaceful slumber, he quietly slipped out of the cabin, seeking solace in the night air. Immediately, as he got out, he was met with the apologetic eyes of his best friend. 

“Hey,” Satoru greeted, confused by the urgency in Suguru’s expression. “What’s up?” 

Suguru took a deep breath before he rubbed the back of his head. “There’s something I ought to tell you.” 

— —

You had been standing at the edge of the lake for a while now, the cool night air sending shivers down your spine as you gazed out at the shimmering expanse of water before you. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silvery glow over the tranquil scene, its soft light dancing on the surface of the lake like a thousand tiny stars.

The temptation to dive into the dark waters below tugged at your heart like a siren’s song, beckoning you to leave behind the pain and sorrow that had plagued you for so long. You longed to feel the icy embrace of the lake envelop you, to lose yourself in its depths and wash away the memories that haunted you every waking moment.

Is this how it feels like to finally let go? 

As you stood on the shore, your toes just inches from the water’s edge, a wave of despair then washed over you, threatening to pull you under like the undertow of a riptide. You thought of Sachiro, your sweet, innocent son, asleep in his bed back in Tokyo, his laughter and smiles serving as an antidote to the pain in your heart.

And then him… 

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you thought of Satoru. Despite the pain he had caused you, it was impossible not to yearn for him still, because his memory was a ghost that haunted you in every waking moment. But you knew that you couldn’t continue to live in the shadow of your past marriage. You had to escape being trapped in a cycle of longing and regret. You owed it to Sachiro to be strong, to find the courage to let go of the man who had once been your everything.

With your empty gaze, the calm lake shimmered in the moonlight like a blanket of liquid silver. You had come to the lake seeking solace, seeking escape from the unbearable pain that gnawed at your heart like a relentless tide. But as tears left your eyes, your emotions threatened to drown you in a sea of despair. 

Without hesitation, you dropped your shawl to the side, shedding yourself off of the cloth with a sense of reckless abandon. The fright of swimming in open water, especially at night, could have you passed out in a matter of seconds, but you paid it no mind as you waded into the water. 

Is this how it feels to finally give up? 

The lake embraced you like an old friend, enfolding you in its cool embrace as you swam out into the darkness. Each stroke brought you closer to the center of the lake, closer to the heart of your pain, and yet you felt strangely at peace, as if the water itself held the key to your salvation. You took time floating on your back, staring up at the stars that glittered like diamonds in the night sky, you felt a sense of clarity wash over you. You knew that your love for Satoru was a burden you could no longer bear.

But more than that, you knew that you couldn’t let your own pain dictate the course of your son’s life. Sachiro deserved better than a mother consumed by sorrow, better than a life overshadowed by the ghosts of the past.

With a deep breath, you let go of the pain that had held you captive for so long. You submerged yourself into the depths of the lake, watching as the night sky vanished beneath the surface like a wisp of smoke in the wind.

In that moment, you felt a sense of freedom unlike anything you had ever known. You just had to stay still. You had to keep yourself underwater, hold your breath until you no longer needed it, and… 

And…

You struggled to breathe, your mind consumed in panic telling you that you would die if you had kept yourself submerged for another minute, but you were adamant on staying there. You fought battles in your own mind, despite your body fighting back to keep you alive. 

At least soon, you would finally meet your mom again. 

“...”

“......”

“....Y/N!” 

“.......Y/N!” 

Feeling your vision blur and your limbs growing limp, you surrendered to the natural sway of the water. Bubbles escaped from your nose, your mouth tightly sealed shut. And the next thing you knew, you were back on the water surface, drawing breath like a fish out of the water. You could feel someone tugging at your arm, could feel the presence of another person dragging you out of the water, his arms pulling you into an embrace. 

“Y/N! What the hell are you thinking?!” 

You sobbed uncontrollably, your heartache pouring out as Satoru cradled you in his arms, his white hair damp from his efforts to rescue you from the water. How and when did he arrive? Your mind couldn’t process the details amidst the turmoil. All you could do was surrender to the flood of tears, feeling paralyzed from head to toe as you cried into his embrace.

Is this another dream? 

Is this another hallucination? 

You released a bitter laugh. Please. You closed your eyes, laughing and crying like a mad person. Please stop the pain. 

“Y/N, please,” his whispers were tender, yet tinged with a sorrow that amplified your heartache. “What about Sachiro?” He, too, shed his own tears, his ocean-blue eyes shimmering in the moonlight as they filled with tears, his voice breaking. “What about me?”

Your face was pressed against his chest, anguish coursing through you, feeling as if your very soul was being torn asunder. “Th-That’s the... the same thing... I’ve been asking myself,” you managed between sobs, struggling to draw a steady breath. “I’m... I’m always th-thinking about other people... and never myself.”

He fell silent, his response lost in the weight of your words, perhaps laden with guilt or his own sorrow. But his presence there, holding you close, as if he still harbored love for you, tore another piece from your already battered heart. He shouldn’t be here. He should have been with Akemi. He should be anywhere but near you. With a surge of adrenaline, you began to push him away, propelling yourself through the water, racing toward the shore despite the weakness in your limbs. Satoru called out your name, his voice a desperate plea, as he followed after you, his movements slower but filled with urgency.

“Stop!” Your voice rose, echoing against the night as you stood on the shore, water cascading from your body in sync with the tears streaming down your face. “L-Leave me alone... Please. Why are you here?”

You knew Satoru well enough to understand what had driven him to chase after you. Perhaps he had grown concerned, either from noticing your absence or from someone informing him of your uncharacteristic nighttime swim. His actions were undoubtedly unusual; he knew all too well of your fear of open water, prompting him to leap into action to rescue you.

But you didn’t need him to be here. You didn’t need him anywhere. He wasn’t yours anymore. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice carrying the weight of confusion and concern, his steps cautious as he approached you. He looked at you with tears in his eyes, his expression vulnerable and pleading, like a child seeking comfort, desperately hoping to be understood, to be heard. “You’re not with Toji anymore.”

“Why should I?” You struggled to compose yourself, wiping away the tears that blurred your vision. “It doesn’t matter—”

“It fucking matters, Y/N!”

“It shouldn’t matter!” Your voice cracked with emotion, your heart pounding painfully against your ribs. “Why should it matter, huh?”

“Because I love you!” His words echoed through the night, raw with emotion that had never been confronted until now. “Because I can’t fucking get over you. Because I’m a fool for you!”

You pushed him away, a surge of anger and hurt rising within you. “H-How dare you,” you choked out, your fists trembling as you struck his chest. “How dare you say that to me when you’re with someone else! You n-never truly loved me, Satoru. Y-You never did!”

“You wanted me to find someone new, Y/N,” his voice cracked with emotion, pained by his own words, “I just did what you asked me to do, even if that wasn’t what I truly wanted.” 

You vehemently denied his assertion in your mind, shaking your head in refusal. “Stop saying that. Just stop. Please.”

He already had his grip on your hand, pulling you closer. “Y/N—”

You jerked your hand away sharply, but then a wave of despair washed over you. “Every time I see you with her, I convince myself that I’m fine with it, that this is what I wanted, what I chose.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you recalled every heartbreak. “I tell myself that I deserve it, that you deserve to be with someone who can make you happier. But then I remember our past…” You paused, closing your eyes to stem the tears. “And then I compare it to your relationship with her now. I can’t help but wonder, why didn’t I receive that kind of love and respect from the beginning? Why did it take me nearly drowning in an ocean for you to realize and try to make things right three years ago?”

His grip on your hand tightened, as if he wanted to hold onto you and never let go, as if he wanted to reassure you with his touch that he was there, listening, understanding, feeling every word you uttered.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible amidst the crashing waves and the heavy weight of your emotions. “I’m sorry for everything I did wrong, for every moment I failed to show you the love and respect you deserved, Y/N.”

You hated it. You hated hearing his words now, because it was three years all too late. You had already gone through so much suffering, so much anguish that you didn’t deserve, just because you wanted a happy marriage. Just because you wanted to love and be loved. By him. By the person you married. 

“It d-doesn’t change anything,” you murmured, your voice breaking with sorrow. “I can’t undo the pain, the heartache. I can’t erase the memories.”

“I know,” he replied softly, his eyes filled with remorse. “But let’s try again. Let me try again, Y/N. Please.”

You wanted to believe him, to believe that he meant every word, that he was sincere in his intentions. But the wounds of the past were still fresh, and the memories of betrayal were still lingering in your mind.

“You know what hurts me more?” you asked, “It’s the fact that you didn’t lose your memories of me, but you still ended up falling for her,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Satoru’s silence felt like a confirmation to you. Perhaps he had indeed fallen in love with Akemi, and you were the obstacle standing in the way of his complete commitment to her. You were just a relic of his past, a piece that he needed to discard in order to embrace his future with Akemi. It seemed that fate had already decided that you and Satoru would never find happiness together, and this should serve as nothing more than a closure. 

But god be damned, it was tearing you apart. 

You tugged at the necklace around your neck, the pendant bearing half of his heart, and in your trembling hand, you ripped it off. As painful as it was, your next action was to hurl it into the darkness of the lake, discarding the last remnant that linked him to you, watching as it disappeared beneath the surface of the lake with a soft splash.

You know the difference between us, Satoru? You thought silently. I dove into the ocean just to find our wedding ring, but you would never plunge into that lake to retrieve that necklace.

With determined steps, you turned away before he could react, walking away from that place, walking away from him. You resolved that this would be your final encounter with Satoru Gojou in your lifetime, because there was no need for him in your life, just as he no longer needed you in his. You two would remain in the past, a memory best left behind.

This was you letting him go. 

But then, just as you were about to walk away, you heard a faint noise from the darkness behind you—a splash, followed by the sound of another frantic splashing.

Your heart pounded heavily in your chest. You turned back toward the lake, your eyes widening in shock as you saw Satoru thrashing in the water, his arms flailing as he searched desperately for the necklace you had thrown away.

“Satoru, you idiot!” you cried out, your voice filled with disbelief and concern and pain and overwhelming heartache. Without a second thought, you ran back to the cold water, your feet sinking into the soft sand as you waded into the lake. “Satoru, what are you doing?!” you called out again, your heart racing as you reached out to him, your fingers brushing against his arm as he struggled to stay afloat.

“I have to find it,” Satoru gasped, his voice strained with exertion. “I have to find the necklace you threw.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked into his eyes, seeing the desperation and determination that burned within them. You knew then that you couldn’t let him risk his life for a piece of jewelry, no matter how sentimental it may be.

“Satoru, please,” you pleaded, your voice trembling with emotion. “It’s not worth it. Let it go—”

But Satoru shook his head, his gaze fixed on the dark waters below. “I have to find it," he insisted, his eyes tearful. “It’s my heart. I gave it to you.”

 I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. 

The tension between you crackled like electricity in the air. In that moment, all of your walls came crashing down, your heart laid bare before the man you had once loved with all your soul.

With tears streaming down your cheeks, you reached out and pulled Satoru into your arms, your lips meeting his in a desperate, longing kiss. It was a kiss filled with years of pent-up emotion, a bittersweet union of love and pain that left you both breathless and raw. Your lips moved together in a tender dance, each kiss a silent plea for forgiveness, for understanding, for a second chance at the love you had lost. It was a kiss that spoke of regrets and what-ifs, of dreams left unfulfilled and promises broken.

For years, you had been strangers, your hearts closed off to each other in an attempt to shield yourselves from the pain of your past. But in that moment, as you clung to each other in the darkness, you couldn’t deny the truth that still lingered between you—that your love for each other had never truly died.

As you finally pulled apart, gasping for air, you looked into Satoru’s eyes, seeing the depth of his pain mirrored in your own. “I hate you,” you whispered, your voice laced with grief and surrender, "so much."

Satoru reached out and brushed a tear from your cheek, his touch gentle and tender. “I hate me, too,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, his eyes shining with guilt, “for hurting you.”

You couldn’t erase the past, nor could you predict the future. But as you stood together in the middle of the lake, your hearts entwined once more, you found solace in the simple act of being together, of sharing your pain and your love in the darkness of the night. And as you held each other tight, the gravity of your connection pulled you to kiss him again. 

Once more, you met his lips in a deeper kiss. His lips moved in perfect sync with yours, and the taste of his tongue was met with the familiarity you two shared. It was as if your bodies were moving on its own, and you allowed it to dictate whatever action it desired. Forget everything for now, was all you could think of in your head. In your mind, it was all Satoru. It was the man you love. The man you married. The man you share a child with. 

You were too engrossed with the feeling of his lips that you didn’t even realize he had your legs wrapped around his waist. And with your arms around his neck, you could feel him lift you up, never breaking the kiss as he carried you out of the lake. With each step he took, your kiss only got deeper and deeper. You had never felt such intensity throughout your marriage, and you were intoxicated by the feeling of kissing him again. 

Of feeling his lips around your jawline. Your neck. Your chest. You were gasping on his mouth, had his lips completely enveloped with yours, not realizing you were stumbling inside your cabin, desperate to find somewhere to lay on. 

And before you knew it, the night had played way differently than expected.

Both your wet clothes were on the floor in a tangle of fabric, forgotten in the heat of your passion. And now, with your bare body on top of him. His arms caressed the smooth skin of your back, his lips feathering kisses along your bust. As you moved your hips slowly, you couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your lips. Satoru’s member was warm inside you. Your bodies were tingling from the intensity of your lovemaking in the dimly lit room. And when you pulled away, your eyes were locked in a silent exchange of yearning.

Without a word, Satoru reached out and gently cupped your breast, his touch sending electricity down your spine. You leaned into his touch, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you felt the heat of his body pressing against yours.

Your lips met once more, a tender exploration of each other’s mouths, and he was taking that chance to shift the position you were in. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he began to enter you again. You were whimpering under him, melting into his passionate movements. You have had sex with Satoru multiple times before, but it was never this emotional. It was never this passionate. You could feel the difference with the way he kissed you, with the way he looked at you, with the way he touched you. 

“S-Satoru—!” 

“Mmm… I missed you so fucking much, Y/N.”

And then, finally, you came together in a flurry of hands and lips and skin, your bodies melding into one as you gave yourselves over to the exquisite pleasure of your lovemaking. 

At that exact moment, as you moved together in perfect harmony, you knew that you were home.

— —

When Akemi woke up, she could tell something felt wrong. 

It didn’t help that Satoru was not by her side as she opened her eyes, blinded by the sunlight that peeked through the window. Was he out for a morning run? Or perhaps he was indulging in a leisurely bath? She entertained the idea of joining him, wanting to express her gratitude for his care and support.

Her heart swelled with love for him, despite all the risks and uncertainties. He was her rock, her confidant, her everything. In him, she found solace and strength, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him. Despite the troubles of his past, she felt blessed to have crossed paths with him. She longed for the kind of deep connection and lasting commitment that she saw in others’ marriages, a dream she harbored for her own future. And in Satoru, she saw the perfect partner to share that dream with, to build a family and a life together that she had always yearned for.

Akemi wasn’t ashamed by how smitten she was with him. In fact, she was beginning to have more confidence in her decision to pursue a relationship with him. She just hoped you would understand, that you would eventually let go of the grudge in your heart. At the end of the day, she wasn’t trying to hurt you. She was only trying to pursue her happiness. 

And the exact source of her happiness was someone she endeavored to find that morning. She put on a robe and searched every room in the cabin, calling out for his name, wondering why she couldn’t hear his voice. 

With no response forthcoming, Akemi decided to exit the cabin in search of Satoru. Assuming he had likely been with Suguru all night, she scanned the vicinity, expecting to spot his tall, white-haired figure. Yet, after several minutes of fruitless searching, she couldn’t find him and instead, encountered a hotel staff member. That was when she decided to finally inquire about his whereabouts.

“Excuse me,” she began, halting the staff member’s stride, “Have you seen my boyfriend? He’s tall, with white hair and blue eyes.”

“Ah, Mr. Gojou?” the hotel staff responded, scratching her head as realization dawned. She then gestured toward the last place Akemi wished him to be. “Um, I think he’s in there.”

Akemi’s heart raced as if she had seen a ghost. Her complexion drained of color, her heart pounding in her chest as she realized that the cabin she had been directed to was yours. And in a twist of fate, just as she stood there in shock, the man she loved emerged from the cabin, equally wide-eyed.

“‘Kemi…” he began, frozen in place, “Let’s talk first—”

But she cut him off with a scoff. Her hands trembled with a tumult of emotions—anger, pain, and betrayal—threatening to overwhelm her. She was on the verge of collapse, her mind reeling with questions. Was he going to explain his actions? No, there was only one question that demanded an answer.

“Did you… did you do it?” she asked through gritted teeth, her voice laced with accusation.

Satoru didn’t need to respond. As Akemi pushed the door open, her worst fears were confirmed as she saw you standing behind him, draped in nothing but a blanket. Tears welled in her eyes, and before she could think, her body reacted, her hand connecting with Gojou’s cheek in a resounding slap.

“You never changed!” she cried out, her voice cracking with anguish. “You’re still a cheater!”

Satoru struggled to deflect each fist she hurled at him, but her rage and despair overwhelmed any attempt to reason with her. She was consumed by her pain and the looming betrayal she anticipated, unable to comprehend that her worst fears were coming true before her eyes.

“‘Kemi, please,” Satoru pleaded in vain.

“...Akemi, I'm sorry,” you interjected, your voice heavy with remorse as you wiped your tears. “It’s not his fault. It’s mine.”

Upon hearing your words, Akemi erupted. She disregarded your friendship, cast aside your shared memories, and denied that she had ever considered you a friend. Her tear-filled eyes bore into you with accusation. “Y-You,” she began, her voice choking with sobs, “You’re a hypocrite, Y/N!”

You remained silent, absorbing her words.

Akemi pressed on with her onslaught. “You’re a hypocrite! You’ve become the person you despised the most when you were married,” she accused, recalling the anguish you endured during Gojou’s affair. “You’re no better than Sera! And that’s why you’re miserable, and you’ll forever be miserable! If this is your way of getting back at me,” she paused, betrayed by the anguish in her voice, “Then jokes on you, because Satoru will never be faithful to you. He’ll keep cheating on you, just like he did now with me! You two belong in that cycle!”

She fled before she could hear your response, but Satoru’s whispered apology lingered in the air, unclear of who its intended recipient was. At that moment, she didn’t care anymore. She raced back to her cabin, tears streaming down her face as she hastily packed her belongings.

She moved mechanically, tossing her belongings into her luggage while grappling with the overwhelming pain of his infidelity. Try as she might to focus on the task at hand, her tears flowed freely, and she surrendered to her grief, cradling her face in her hands.

Amidst her anguish, she couldn’t ignore the escalating pain in her pelvic region, a physical echo of the agony in her heart. Each sob seemed to intensify both sensations, leaving her feeling utterly shattered.

With that confrontation, Satoru faced a pivotal choice: to stay with you or to pursue Akemi. 

While Akemi had anticipated that he might choose you, she was taken aback when she swung the door open,

bags in hand, 

only to find Satoru Gojou standing on her doorstep.