#but they understand that…. and will choose one another in every single other scenario possible…. bc they r EACH!! OTHERS!!! MOST!!!! TRUSTED

[latinokaeya-moving]

i saw such a good kaejean art just now i think i’m gonna throw up and die

[jweekgoji]

Hello! Your writing is amazing! Can I request a yandere Sentinel Prime with a femme reader who has an overprotective Sire? Her sire does not care about who Sentinel is and clearly does not like him and it pisses Sentinel off. Take your time!

Yandere!Sentinel Prime/Femme!Reader with an overprotective sire [hcs]

tw: yandere behavior, mentions of manipulation, jealousy, very brief violence, possesiveness. word count: ~890 a/n: for some reason, I can see Ultra Magnus being this father figure, hehe. thank you for request, Anon~ smoooooch

Your sire doesn't like Sentinel? Well, that certainly wasn't in the plans for him. He expects everyone to treat him like a royalty and look up at him, so when someone treats him differently, it kinda catches off guard.

I don't think yandere!Sentinel will go into his 'killing mode' the moment he sees an obstacle, mainly because he's sure he can take care of that in a classy way.

Sentinel is definitely that guy who really wants to make a good first impression on your sire. He might act like a really confident mech in front of you, but for some reason, he is a little nervous about the thoughts of meeting your sire.

In his mind, it really goes quickly from «oh come on, why would her father dislike me? Everyone loves me!» to «oh Primus. what if he hates me?» and that's how it repeats 24/7. Eventually, the confident Sentinel wins, but he takes a lot of time to prepare for any possible scenario. Everything should be perfect, every single smallest detail is personally checked by him, so nothing goes past.

Imagine Sentinel's expression when your sire harshly brushes it off with a «You're not good enough for my daughter and I don't want you around her. End. Of. Story» and just SLAMS the door shut into his face the moment the other bot sees him. Basically, that's where everything goes wrong. Oh, his poor ego.

Yandere Sentinel especially hates when something goes wrong and not according to his plan. He's a perfectionist, and if he spots any imperfections, it's a total disaster for him! His mood quickly changes from sweet and kind to annoyed and impulsive, so it's better to stay away from him for a good few minutes until he takes a deep breath and goes like «this is fine...everything is fine! :)» with his optic twitching and a small frown on his faceplate, which is easily noticed through his smile.

Yandere!Sentinel gets paranoid with the thought that your sire will start putting the wrong thoughts in your processor, talking trash about him behind his back, so eventually you will start to question your love for Sentinel as well. So, he decides to step in and turn the tables, planting the seeds of distrust about your parental figure. Does your father really care that much for you? Nothing is wrong with being a little protective over your own little spark, but you're no sparkling, you should build your own life!

He does it carefully, using tiny, innocent and careful remarks whenever you two are alone after another disastrous meeting with your sire.

«If your sire really wants what is best for you, why he takes your chances of happiness?»

Until he practically struck you with a head-on, «You always tell me that you love me. So you should choose. Me or him.»

Sentinel is selfish. A small part of him understands how ridiculous it is, to feel jealousy just because your mentor is present in your life. But when you start having more of those father-and-daughter times together, when your attention goes more to your sire rather than him, all rationality in his processor just disappears.

He spends half the day trying to call for you. He wants to know where the frag you are and WHY you don't pick up his calls immediately, since he needs you right here and now. As his partner, you're obligated to always be there for him, and being ignored by you...the audacity!

Sentinel walks in circles in his office, and the silence is bothering him to the insanity. One moment, he will start crying his spark out to her about it.

“After everything I have done to her..! Can you imagine that?” he looks at Airachnid for validation, his voice full of frustration. “I swear, if she calls back, I'm going to tell her everything I think of her, that—”

But the moment he sees your name popping up on the screen, he is conflicted. On the one hand, he wants to pick up immediately, on the other hand, he doesn't want to seem desperate. So he waits a few seconds until he finally decides.

Airachnid gives him almost a disappointed look as she sees her boss using that sweet voice when he talks to you. Suddenly, Sentinel is not that angry anymore, and if anything, he's relieved to finally see and hear your precious voice. He almost forgets about what he said a moment ago until you hit him with «oh, sorry Sentinel, I was with my sire all day. I can't visit you today. See you tomorrow!».

He almost snaps the device in his servo by the end of the call.

Eventually, Sentinel gets exhausted from all of it. He really tried, despite the constant disrespect from your sire. He has no remorse when he finally asks Airachnid to deal with the obstacle in his way of getting you, covering the story as an incident. The death of your sire would shatter you, but don't worry, you will heal soon enough with him by your side.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Struggling to Focus on Plot vs Everything

Anonymous asked: I'm currently outlining (whilst still figuring out my plot and everything), but I keep getting sidetracked. My brain is trying to plant seeds to help me figure out the overall story, but it's distracting me from getting the main story line plotted out because instead I'm trying to come up with every possible scenario for why things happen. This method is exhausting, though, and I'd rather have a solid story line first, then flesh it out from there. Ultimately, I feel like I need to figure out my story's timeline and the main events, because I want that all sorted before I tackle how the characters experience it. It's just really overwhelming and when I try to pluck out the big pieces, they crumble into smaller pieces.

[Ask, and subsequent ask, edited for length and content]

So, if I understand correctly, it seems like part of you just wants to get down the actual plot of the story, but when you try, you end up delving into all these deeper background details?

What I'm thinking is this: if you're able to, I would start by doing what I think of as a "holistic summary" of your story... sort of like a brain dump but in general chronological order from beginning to end. It doesn't have to be perfect... you can backtrack, jump around a little, and go on tangents as needed. The point is to just get down as much of the story as you know... and as much as your brain will want to flesh out in real time... just to get it out of your head.

Sometimes, just getting it all out of your head on paper in one single container can help free up your brain to focus on the backbone of your story... the actual framework all of those details need to adhere to.

Another thing that might help, if you haven't done this already, is to look for a story structure template to help you tease out the story. There are loads of them out there from Save the Cat Writes a Novel! to Larry Brooks Story Structure, Three-Act Story Structure, the Snowflake Method, The Hero's Journey, Blake Snyder's Beat Sheet, Derek Murphy's 24 Chapter Outline, Gwen Hayes' Romancing the Beat, Shawn Coyne's Story Grid, The Seven Point Plot Structure, Dan Harmon's Story Circle, The Five-Act Structure, James Scott Bell's A Disturbance and Two Doorways, Kishōtenketsu Structure, Story Spine, and a bajillion others... The key to using a story structure template is to know it doesn't have to be followed exactly. They're not there as molds to cram your story into... they're more like "suggested itineraries" for a road trip. This is an ideal route with some popular stops along the way, but you may wish to alter the route slightly or make some different stops. Many writers actually use bits and pieces of different templates to suit their needs or the needs of their story.

Sometimes, just choosing a random template to tease out your main plot can be enough to help you see exactly what the main plot is, which makes all the other stuff fall into its proper place as character development, back story, and world building.

I hope this helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[katurdayss]

It’s been a full week since the finale of Rings of Power and every time I've sat down to try to write my S2 review I see a new take and start rethinking. I eventually circle back to the same ideas tho, so fuck it, here are my thoughts in no particular order.

Season 2 was a lot better than Season 1. This is true for most shows, as S1 is usually a 'lets find our footing' scenario, but also these seasons are SHORT. Which leads me to...

This show would benefit GREATLY from seasons longer than 8 episodes. The way they've structured it means they juggle a LOT of storylines at once. Sometimes this is great, other times it feels like storylines suffer because they're just planting seeds for the future and it doesn't really have an impact on the Main Storyline for the season. For me, Arondir was one of these. His started with this great potential for how an immortal would understand the concept of grieving the forever loss of a loved one. Unfortunately that was really watered down into tracking down Adar to kill him, full stop. Which brings us to...

What.the.fuck.is.the.timeline? How much time has passed? S1 and S2 feel like they happened in a month. I don’t care if the timeline is compressed, I still want to feel time passing other than noticing Annatar's/Sauron’s hair magically grew like 4 inches in one episode.

Speaking of Annatar, I feel like what the show did really well was creating original dialogue/moments (even with canon things) instead of what I would call fan/studio service. The parts that I have loved the most were the more original moments: like anything involving the dwarves, the development of Miriel and Elendil, the Ents, and Cirdan. The parts that I felt were weakest were when the show relied too heavily or used dialogue from the Jackson movies. I didn't want the Stranger to be Gandalf, not because it isn't canon, but because Peter Jackson already did that. I don't need multiple call backs to his movies (I love those movies too). I'm here for NEW STUFF. Expand my Tolkien universe, show me shit I've never seen before that will make my head explode. That weird nameless thing Arondir killed? Imagine the Cardi B 'What is that' meme and that was me. Fucking great. I don't want to be constantly reminded of the Jackson version of shit, I'm here to see Prime's version.

That brings me to the idea of consistency. I have yet to figure out what the methodology the showrunners/writers have when choosing to follow or not follow canon. Example, they included that little orc family but didn't make Elrond an elf lord? WHY? His lineage is like royal af. Even when not following canon, I feel like the writing can be really inconsistent. The Numenor storyline is a great example of this. Sometimes it's awesome, but the dialogue for the Kings Men characters are often really cringy, and not because what they're saying is fascist. Galadriel is another one for me. Do I need to like her, no, but her character is also used as a studio catch all for every woman character archetype possible. She's single-minded and driven, she's soft and caring, she's thoughtful and wise, every dude apparently is in love with her and it swings WILDLY from episode to episode. You need space to build in these changes to make them believable, which see points 2 & 3.

And finally, on the subject of romance/shipping, for the love of god a story can be great without all the fan service romantic tension editing and teasing. People can exist without romantic partners. People exist without romance. I literally do it every day. I'm not saying you need to make characters asxeual or anything either. Just you know, let people be people. Did The Kiss bother me? No, but you also could of written Elrond slipping Galadriel a lock pick numerous other ways. Is Sauron obsessed with Galadriel? Sure, but maybe its because her hair shines with the light of the west or something and not this tired trope of 'bE mY qUeeN'.

There are other things I would personally change, but I thoroughly enjoyed this season. It made me do a whole lot of reckoning with the ideas of canon representation vs just good storytelling for the audience, which is a really good thing. But it also showed me the folly in treating every media property the same, because Tolkien is not Marvel is not GOT is not The Witcher. You can't be like, 8 episodes works for X so it should work for this too, or x worked for GOT so we'll use that here as well. Maybe it's the Graphic Designer in me but just because Pepsi and Coca Cola are brand soda's doesn't mean the design language and marketing is the same, ya know?

[yolkchild]

Why do you ship what you ship? (Not judging, just asking!!)

The ship I'm craziest about, Putty/Orel, I find it to tread the line between healthy and toxic just right as to make for both messy scenarios and opportunities for mutual growth, and I think the growth aspect ends up neglected in most (but not all) other ships you can conjure up for this show's cast. Which isn't to say the pure messes aren't enjoyable, they are, it can be fun to see people act pathetic or self-centered or hurtful; but I've come to appreciate balance more and more at this point in my life. I've also come to appreciate religiosity a lot more, the way I see it there's a lot of room for those themes in a relationship between a disillusioned reverend and his number one zealot. And oh, the sweetness of the Revs choosing to listen to that boy's advice, like no one else would in this town, and the paradox of having one of the perpetrators of dogma also become a refuge from it, in his accidentally-benevolent hypocrisy. Orel would have a modicum of a safe space, where he can be heard and seen and appreciated, where he can express more of himself—maybe even have a cooler father figure in some aspects. Even if Orel's still susceptible to Moralton's lies to the point of great damage, or the burden of their secret gets heavy, or Rod gets selfish and deceptive and presumptuous at times. Balance: sometimes you sway left and then right and back left until you find those sweet spots, instabilities and stabilities often walk together.

That, and I'm a sucker for age differences. I used to be more shameful about it, I like to think I'm not as much nowadays, but it's a powerful thing to me, all the possibilities that can happen in such a gap. I'm also just drawn to religious figures and I think Reverend Putty is hot and relatable, and Orel is also hot and relatable, so naturally what you do is put them together and identify as all roles between them.

Most my other ships would be preying on my age thing. Creepler, anything with Creepler, he's a little embarrassing to elaborate on because he's pure indulgence for me. There's a certain freedom in enjoying Bad Guys because any judgements come more immediate, they're easier to get out of the way and allow for deeper exploration of their psyches, their motivations and the environments shaping them, since the goal no longer becomes getting a righteous message across. Especially compelling is seeing what relates a Bad Guy to their more innocuous peers: I'm sure Creepler and Sculptham share enough in common to warrant multiple "dates." To me, Creepler can't love without Doughy who can't love without Sculptham who can't love without Creepler, this triad is crucial to understanding each character and their relationships to one another. The teacher with a complicated relationship with sex and men, the shady pedophile who fills her needs in a twisted way, the easy target they share who just wants to be seen. It's one pure mess as I've described earlier, it's bleak and no one truly wins, but broken houses can stay upright for a long time.

There's a lot more I'm fond of, ship-wise, both problematic and not. Danielle and the Puppingtons, cool. The Puppingtons themselves, awesome. Rod and the Puppingtons? Oo la la. Stephanie and every possible single woman, hell yeah let's see where this goes. Chances are, if I hadn't considered it or if I avoid doing so, if I'm not crazy about it, it's probably because the motivation behind a pairing (or its discussion) turned to have more to do with real-world messaging than the chemistry the characters have.

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

Rather than refuse to vote, I think we should vote third party. Jill Stein has a much better platform than Joe (and Trump obviously). That *would* make the democrats panic and signal to them that they have to earn progressive votes going forward. Thoughts?

(I understand why people would choose to vote democrat as the “lesser of two evils” but I just can’t do that anymore in good conscience, and I don’t believe it is a good long-term strategy.)

The US doesn't have a preferential voting system, so I fail to see how voting third party is any different, in practice, from not voting at all - it's the same top-down understanding of politics that has failed leftists since the 1960s and 70s. If you want to enact consistent change, you need to get involved in politics from the bottom up: you need to get involved with the party, vote in every election you're eligible for, and encourage everyone you know to do the same.

Personally, I think bottom up approaches are particularly useful for single-issues like Israel/Hamas, because this is not the first time Israel and Hamas (or its predecessors) have gone to war with one another, and it's probably not going to be the last - and, if the leftists didn't succeed in changing party politics through voting third party/non-voting in the past, then it's unlikely that it'll suddenly work now.

If you make your third party protest vote/non-vote, the best case scenario is that nothing changes, and the worst case scenario is that Trump returns to office and continues to dismantle all of the social policies and infrastructure that the Dems have enacted in the past, to the detriment of vulnerable Americans (if you're thinking that US foreign policy wouldn't change, then you're right: it never changes).

(I say it's 'probably' the best case scenario because it's technically possible that a huge third-party vote will make the Dems reconsider its stance... just incredibly unlikely. Like I said before, this isn't a new issue, and if it hasn't worked yet, it's probably going to work now.)

Finally, I'm assuming that you're coming from the pro-Palestinian side (because Biden has been decent on other domestic US issues, e.g. student debt, abortion), so I just want to make a little request: please go and see what fox news and other conservative US news sources are saying about Palestinians.

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Hey, what tips or suggestions would you give to someone who want to start writing headcanons and fics for characters on here - specifically reader x character things? Is there anything I should keep in mind or be aware of?

Hey there honey!

First of all thanks for thinking of me when you need writing advice T-T (i really feel like i've made it somehow)

I have plenty of tips! I hope they will be helpful to you!

These tips are for improving your writing skills:

First start out with the knowledge that there's always more to learn about writing and you're always going to find things that you want to improve about your own writing. Personally, I started out as the type of person who only wrote dialogues and no description and wrote it all in a single paragraph. Then I got into a phase where I would be unnecessarily descriptive (no one needs to know that the shade of someone's curtains were vermillion with a touch of sunset orange). Which brings me to my second tip--

Grammar and Language! Please please be mindful about spacing out your fic in multiple paragraphs, using good word choices, correcting your grammar where possible. (There's absolutely nothing wrong if English is not your first language or even if you have a couple typos here and there)

One of my biggest tips to help you get better at writing is READING! Not only does it help expand your vocabulary and help you understand when you use dialogues and when to be descriptive. It also helps you understand where you'd want to improve yourself. (For me, The Butterfly Effect by @samseaaa is my current writing goalpost because it is just too good I'd recommend reading it if it's your vibe)

Try every style of writing to find what sticks with you. If you're the type of writer who only likes writing dialogues and short sentences without much detail, headcanons or short drabbles might be more your vibe. For some others it could be long oneshots or even multiple chapter stories. Also I'd say a good skill is knowing when something should be a drabble and when something should be a oneshot/multiple chapter story

Another thing I'd say is important is to keep in mind the POV of your fic. If it's in First POV then remember to tell the story through the eyes of the reader (they're not going to know what's going on in someone else's head). I've been wanting to transition to a First POV even though I've been doing a Second POV for as long as I can remember but I think it's too much of a habit now lol. Also a couple years ago, multiple POV chapters were really popular but I'm pretty sure it's fallen out of style.

Word count is something that's important to me but I know loads of people who don't care about it. For example, when it's a multiple chapter story, I need the chapters to be at least 1k words long each. I'd prefer longer but 1k is as little as I'm willing to both write or read.

Speaking of multiple chapter stories; know that some people plan the shit out of their story and some just wing it as they go. Neither is wrong. Don't be like me though, who wings it initially and then changes their minds and decides they want to plan the entire thing so they rewrite the whole thing. Or do, there's no right or wrong.

These couple tips are specific to getting your fics out and about:

(This is specific to 'x reader' fics) If you choose to write a story that is x reader then be sure not to give the main character any physical attributes or a name. If you want to write an OC, go ahead but be sure to tag the fic properly.

Use your tags properly! You have 20 tags on tumblr that will appear when people search for them and it's a really good way to get your fics out to people who want to read them! They're a little annoying to fill in every time but it will help!

If you're the type of person that needs interaction to keep motivated when writing, there's absolutely no shame in writing fics that are popular at the time. For example, I did a "boyfriend scenarios" book on wattpad back when it was the shit. Also when ATLA and SMAUs w ere trending I did my Zuko!SMAU fic.

Another way to help you increase your writing and thus help you practice is keeping requests open and your setting for anons open (ofc only if you're comfortable with that). Do this in moderation though because I tended to get slightly burnt out when I had too many requests.

And of course one more final tip is to just enjoy the ride! Writing is supposed to be fun and I hope it'll become a source of joy for you<3

I hope this helps you! And if you have anymore specific questions then please feel free to reach out I'm always so happy to help <3

Also, for any of the writers reading this who wants to include their own tips, feel free to reblog or leave them in the comments!

[causesciencethatswhy]

The way jimin presents is much more obviously queer than any other member (purely based on mannerisms, cause if you hear joon or yoongi talking about love for a few minutes you can put two and two together). And his overt queerness makes a lot of cis hetero shippers (or kpop fans ) uncomfortable because they're forced to confront their internalized homophobia and misogyny head on. So they find a way to diminish his importance to the other members or villanise to cartoonish levels to deal with that discomfort.

(I'm the anon you responded to with this^^)

Add onto that how a lot of ARMYs seem to assume that just being a BTS fan makes you an ally/intelligent/a good person, and it's the perfect scenario for some cognitive dissonance. Only that JM haters and Tkkers don't seem to have enough cognitive for it to be anything. Even (maybe especially, even) shipping two men doesn't automatically make you supportive of the queer community and understanding of the struggles just existing as a queer person brings about.

They always clamour "but two gay men wouldn't do xyz in a homophobic country", failing to recognise that queer people have existed through so much worse and still have done things wildly more gay than anything Jikook have done.

There's also a lot of them who only see JM's gender expression and "queer subtext" (meaning fashion choices, and the whole concept of his photofolio + album) while disregarding JK's. Like, that man pulled out the most feminine look and attitude in his "bobs+bangs" Calvin Klein shoot. And he fucking owned it. But instead, at least in my perception, the fandom is split on him: one half genuinely sees and appreciates JKs expression of himself, while the other mostly memes it to death and ridding it of meaning. Any perception of JK as a potentially non-hetero man is forgotten the moment he presents as classically masculine again, aka stereotyping the whole queer community to death.

The latter doesn't happen with JM, because - like you said - he fits the common perception of a gay man. Which is all fun and games for the many "The JM effect" compilations, but for cis shippers it starts sliding into homophobia the moment they need to stop perceiving the members as Ken Dolls and instead treat them as actual human beings with all their complexities, faults and incongruent behaviour.

Which brings me onto Hobi. Now, I don't think he gets it quite as bad as JM.

One reason being that there's simply not as many Yoonminers who aren't mainly tkkers. The latter often uses the former to not be seen as a JM anti, but aside from compilations getting spread to push the "married couple" agenda, they don't focus their attention on it. (Also can the "arguing a lot = being in love/married" thing plz die? As someone whose grandparents argue every 20 minutes (real numbers) it's the actual worst and not really a reflection of romance...)

Another one is that Yoonminers do not care about original content at all. From what I've seen during my baby army days, they pick and choose everything down to the tiniest detail. So they mostly ignore that Hobi even exists as a possible variable.

Which brings me to my next point, which kinda breaks my heart: I don't think a lot of shippers in general, and the tkk/ym crowd in particular, see Hoseok as someone to focus their attention on. He gets forgotten a LOT, relegated to the fun sidekick comic relief while the ships are the mc's. (Which is why, imho, it's always his releases a lot of the fandom doesn't care about/actively ignores). The actual deep founded love every single member of BTS has for him - to the point they should actually propose - is insane. How can you think Ym is more real than Sope or Jihope? How can people be that willfully obtuse?

As someone who thinks Jikook could be real (2019, I am looking at you), I had my doubts seeing Jihope interact a few times. But what gets me is how fucking whipped Hobi gets every time he watches Jikook be all adorable. He looks at them like the proud BFF who got them together. A lot of that is his general love for the maknae line and his personality, but that level? The instances of it happening?

...

.......

This was a lot. Okay.

Tl;dr: BTS are human beings, also Hoseok is the best person on the planet probably. Be gay, do crime🏳️‍🌈

Even (maybe especially, even) shipping two men doesn't automatically make you supportive of the queer community and understanding of the struggles just existing as a queer person brings about.

This!! Is so key to everything wrong with a large group of shippers and even solo fans. This idea that because you ship on m/m ship over the other, you are no way capable of making homophobic assumptions and statements. To a lot of shippers shipping a potentially queer couple is just another way to fulfill some forbidden romance fantasy of theirs and not actual concern for the lived reality of queer couples in conservative countries.

Which is why the painful torture of two boyfriends being torn apart from each other like star crossed lovers sounds more palatable and realistic to tkkrs than a queer couple deciding to stick by each other's side through thick and thin, despite the risks. It's less spicy I guess, but who cares of queer joy when the dramatics of the other possibility is so much more enticing.

Everytime I see tkkrs make the whole, "being gay in the military is forbidden so a gay couple would never risk going together" argument, a part of my soul dies. I don’t know what's more offensive, the idea that a closeted couple will just forget how to behave around each other after potentially years of being together because Gays and their crazy sex drives, am I right?

Or the alternative explanation that queer people in conservative countries just never make risky descions for the sake of their partners because the law forbids them from even existing.

Both explanations are tone deaf and ignorant of the lived reality of queer people. Its a direct result of straight people dominating shipper spaces. I do sometimes wonder what queer tkkr shippers make of these theories (cause I'm sure they exist as well). Are they perhaps more sane or do they subscribe to this bs as well ?

And oh my gosh yes about jungkook. That boy has very vocally played about with his gender expression and has been the one ignored the most by seriously cis heterosexual fans. This daddy Dom fantasy they project onto him is a bit much though I do think he does enjoy a more masculine cool image for himself as well. Which to the straight mind is confirmation for all their wattpad inspired fantasies of him. It's unfortunate but alas, stereotypes stick , especially those made by people with a very set view of the world.

As for hobi and the ynmner /sope dilemma, I totally get it. Ynmn shippers do tend to get on my nerves from time to time as well and it no doubt does have something to do with the correlation of them to the tkkr subgroup. I have grown fond of the ynmn dynamic since my baby army days I must admit though, because you can clearly see how much yoongi genuinely appreciates jimins presence and how jimin relies on yoongi for emotional comfort. It is sweet, but yeah I don't necessarily see anything else going on there.

Same goes for sope honestly. Nothing has ever made me seriously question them, except the sunshine bf with grumpy bf dynamic they do fit into very perfectly. They also clearly rely on each other for emotional support (Bring Hobi, hes my vitamin 🥺) but yeah Nothing as eye raising ig ? But yes, i can completely see why it's so frustrating to see how Hobi is dismissed within other shipping dynamics similar to the treatment j/m has gotten. Hobi does tend to get overlooked a lot in these bts dynamic discussions when he very much does embody the heart of the group and the members love for him is so heartfelt and grand, we really seriously underestimate his significance to keeping the bts spirit in line all these years.

I love my ball of sunshine who holds and even bottles up a lot emotionally for the sake of his fans and the team. And he always deserves more appreciation by everyone in the fandom (myself included)

Ps. Jihope in that one 2020 music bank live was definitely a 👀 moment lol.

[dorn-queen-of-thorns]

"A farewell for a beginning"

Happened after ch. 138

Prolog

Eren' s and Armin' s point of view

The two friends sit under the dark blue sky, which can change the colour depending on how the viewer feels. In the distance you can see every single path that is bundled towards the horizon and looks like the trunk of a tree. There is an oppressive tension in the air between the two childhood friends.

 

“Eren! What have you done? ”, You can see Armin's horror on his face. The boy with the chestnut-brown hair and the emerald - green eyes, who has a deep vein in which you can sink. He looks for the right words, Armin notices that Eren is about to cry and is unsure .

 

“I know Armin, but please believe me. I've tried everything to save all of you. If I hadn't started this genocide, Marley would declare war on Paradise in a year and destroyed it to the last ", he speaks in a fragile voice," Mikasa will decide to cut my head off and she will ask you and the captain for help . There is and there was never another way out and I'm so tired of this. I want to be free from suffering ... ", the tears run down Eren's cheeks. He wishes that everything had gone differently and that he would come back to Mikasa for talk things out. But it doesn't work if he wants at least, that she can survive as one of the few.

“You could have talked to us. We would have found a solution together ”, Armin tries to understand his best friend.

 

Eren shakes his head desperately, doesn't know how to explain to Armin what suffering he has felt and seen. As an explanation, he takes Armin's hand and gives him the view of the founding Titan, which gives him a view of all paths. This means that Armin can see every possibility in the future, past and present at this moment. Paths that can be changed, but also paths that are referred to as fixed points and are therefore firmly written.

 

Armin sees all the options that Eren can choose and which in most cases lead to the death of all members of the alliance. The shock is deep in Armin and Eren understands his desperation.

 

“There is so much more that I have to explain to you, Armin. At that moment I will become a father and it breaks my heart never to see or hold my own child. "

 

Armin looks at Eren in surprise, “what? Who? What about Mikasa? "

 

Armin notices that Eren is struggling for the right words, "Historia ..." Armin's answer follows by giving him one slap. Eren makes no move to defend himself. He can even understand his best friend for how he treated Armin and Mikasa when they last met.

 

“You know that Mikasa loves you! Why did you never tell her anything? She still loves you and has not been able to move on until now, hoping to save you and can’t take other people into her heart, ”, at this utterance Armin comes Jean and the Captain into his mind. Both of them tried in their own way to take care of Mikasa and to help over her pain. Jean in his direct and self-sacrificing way, while the captain reacted very subtly, indirectly and carefully. Always a watching eye on her.

 

Eren rubs his cheek thoughtfully, “I know Armin, but please believe me. I tried. I have wandered the paths so often and saw two scenarios, these have always been the same. Either Historia and her child will die during childbirth, or you will all die and Historia survive with her child. I can't accept either ... "Eren's tears run," I've seen you all die so often. I just simply can not anymore…"

Armin realizes that it is his old friend Eren and not the ice-cold Eren who left Mikasa so badly hurt and destroyed with his words. “I wish she could see you now, Eren. She could make peace with it. "

 

“I know, Armin. But that doesn't work. With this wish everything would repeat itself. At least few of you, including Mikasa and Historia, survive this path that she is now taking ... It is the only way ... ", Eren looks thoughtfully into the distance," I want, that both have the opportunity to lead a long and peaceful life. "

"How do you know that it is the path that you have been looking for so long?", Armin looks at his best friend from childhood.

 

“Armin, there is a point that repeats itself over and over again. It is the point when I am with you for the first time in Liberio and I ask Mikasa how she thinks about me. And before that she had always confessed her love and the last time she gave me a different answer and said , that I was family to her and then you came with the others to join us... "

Eren looks melancholy.

 

“ I couldn't say goodbye to her. Besides telling her that she forget me and that she should have a long life, "he looks sadly into the distance.

“Please take care of Mikasa. She will immediately enter the paths and look for me ", he takes Armin's hand, "send her back. PLEASE PROMISE ME!

I don't want to have to go through everything again and I want at least a few of you to be able to survive. "

Armin recognizes Eren's desperation and nods in understanding to his friend, "I promise you." Armin feels that their time is approaching. "Will we meet again here, Eren?"

 

Eren looks at Armin and nods in understanding: "We will from time to time."

He scratches his neck thoughtfully, "Both Marley children will survive on this path, as well as Mikasa and ..." Armin looks at Eren curiously. "The captain ..." Armin's eyes widen and he has to grin.

“If I'm honest, Armin. I am glad that he can survive on this path. So she will be caught in her depression and will find a new task in this world. But there was never a way out that Mikasa and I could end up together. I asked her to forget me. She will try to fight it as I know her, but with the current situation, everything will turn for the better for her and shortly after our last meeting at the Survey Corps headquarters, she made her own decisions and decided to do more with the captain work. I'm proud of her. "

Armin remembers that at the end of the day, Mikasa was always close to her superior and trusted him more. It's just sad that he'll never see them like that again. He wonders how their work together could have developed in other aspects of life.

 

“Our ways will now part. I'll take care of the Marley girl now. Rainer asked me to send her back in exchange for his tank titans ", he looks at Armin again in goodbye," see you soon. "

[phantomdialogue]

˗ˏˋ. ݁₊ ✶ ˖ 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐲 - 𝟔/𝟓 ☆ . ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗

premise: january andrews, a women's literature writer, moves out to lake michigan in an attempt to write her latest novel and box up the second life she learned her father had at his funeral. the only problem is that her neighbor is augustus everett, a fiction writer and her old college rival. when they find out that they're both struggling to write, a bet is formed and they become closer than january had ever thought possible so many years ago.

couple: augustus everett and january andrews

tropes: rivals to lovers, forced proximity, small town, neighbors, slight grumpy x sunshine

review below!

review:

so i've cried at every emily henry book i've read so far but i CRIED during this one. there is something about this book and its characters that just eats at my soul in the best way possible. i became immediately attached to the story and january and gus and saw myself in them so much as i read. january's disbelief in love after everything that happened felt so realistic and getting to read her thoughts and how she felt about the situation just made her feel so real. she wasn't being over the top just to add to the book. one thing that i think emily henry does so well is writing realistic characters and scenarios. if i was in january's shoes, i'd feel the same way that she did in the book.

january was just a perfect fmc to me. she hit all the boxes and didn't feel like she was relying on cliches of not being like other girls. she's complex and she has so many conflicting emotions about a very difficult situation. she also has so much love for gus that it's almost overwhelming (in a good way) to read. she wants to help him and make him feel loved and she wants so badly to understand him. i love her on her own but even more with gus and their relationship and the light she brings out in him.

gus may be my new favorite emily henry man... i know i know... but i connected with him on a level that i didn't quite get to with alex or charlie. i love those two so so much but i think that gus is just the one who really got stuck in my heart and head. his trauma and the way that he thinks and defends himself just felt so vulnerable and raw in a way that i clung onto him desperately throughout the book. i love alex and charlie, don't get me wrong, but augustus everett goes down in history for me.

something about this book truly just spoke to my soul and it has easily become my favorite emily henry which is so crazy because i thought nothing would top pwmov and then i read book lovers and i thought nothing would top that... and then i read beach read. emily henry just has such a way of writing that every book of hers makes me so happy (and so so sad but in a good way) that i can't do anything but love it. i was obsessed with this from page one and i can't wait to read her other two books eventually to go with the rest of her amazing ones that i've already read.

q & a:

are they endgame? - yes. yep. uh huh. absolutely. every and all ways of saying yes. i think they just have a way with each other that really makes them such a strong couple. they really know how to read one another and how to support each other that i think makes them so entirely endgame. i love this couple so much and they are so perfect for each other.

did i cringe? - no, i don't think so. maybe cringing from how much it hit me in the chest but not in the bad way. it's a sad book. people who say that emily henry writes romcoms are sorely mistaken. these books are packed with angst and harsh realities and make you cry. and i love each and every single one of them so far.

favorite part? - damn... do i have to choose? i loved both gus and january and every part of them felt real. their characters were jumping off the page at me and i think that's what makes emily henry's writing stand out so much. her characters feel real. they feel like people you could know because every aspect of them is grounded in reality. gus feels like he's broken and january feels betrayed by the world around her and it's realistic. it's not outdone for drama and it's not understated to keep plot moving. they are both given time to feel what they feel on the page and it's breathtaking to read. their scenes apart are just as powerful as their scenes together and that says a lot.

least favorite part? - does how much i cried count? this book really ripped me apart into a million tiny pieces and i'm not quite sure how to recover honestly. if i was getting really picky, i'd say that i almost wish we had a bit more time at the end to really sit with the anguish of gus and january in the states they were in. i wish we got a bit more insight into what was going on with gus but i also know that it's not dual pov so it'd be a little harder to do. but overall, i really have no real qualms with this book at all. i adored (and hated because it made me hurt) this book every second of reading it. i will likely be rereading this one a few times.

favorite quotes (some spoilers here, of course, but minimal):

It was so unfair, that he should get the last word and I’d have no way to reply. To scream or cry or demand more answers. Once I’d opened it, there’d be no going back. That would be it. The final goodbye.

Sometimes, I just missed liking people.

And Gus Everett had looked at me with those eyes, deepening and darkening like they were sucking every bit of information about me into his skull, and he’d determined that I was a balloon in need of popping.

You are his fairy princess. His shadow self. Or he’s yours or whatever.

“Life is pretty much a series of good and bad moments right up until the moment you die,” he said stiffly. “Which is arguably a bad one. Love doesn’t change that. I have a hard time suspending my disbelief. Besides, can you think of a single real-life romance that actually ended like Bridget fucking Jones?”

“I remember how you wrote when you were twenty-two,” he said carefully. “It won’t be bad.”

On the drive home from the funeral, I didn’t want to be okay anymore. I wanted to be a kid.

He fit so perfectly into the love story I’d imagined for myself that I mistook him for the love of my life.

Gus, before he was the Gus I knew. A Gus who daydreamed about escape, who believed someone would rescue him.

As different as I’d thought we were, it felt a little bit like Gus and I were two aliens who’d stumbled into each other on Earth only to discover we shared a native language.

“I bet you were an adorable little freak.”

It wasn’t the story I would’ve written for him.

He was always leaning on something, like he couldn’t bear to hold all his own weight upright for more than a second or two. He lounged, he sprawled, he hunched and reclined. He never simply stood or sat. In college, I’d thought he was lazy about everything except writing. Now I wondered if he was simply tired, if life had beaten him into a permanent slouch, folded him over himself so no one could get at that soft center, the kid who dreamed of running away on trains and living in the branches of a redwood.

No one had chosen Gus. From the time he was a kid, no one had chosen him, and he was embarrassed by that, like it meant something about him. I wanted to tell him it didn’t. That it wasn’t because he was broken, but because everyone else was.

When we finally stood to go to bed that night, Gus didn’t say good night. He said, “Tomorrow.” And that became our nightly ritual.

“I just think of you as Gus.”

“How do you know I didn’t seduce you?” His smile crooked higher. “Because you wouldn’t have had to.”

Sometimes all you could do was hold on to each other tight until the dark spat you back out.

Gus still thought he was missing something, some special piece other people had, the thing that made people stay, and it broke my heart a little.

"I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to feel what it would be like to lose you.”

I lost myself in him, and instead of trying to convince myself that someday everything would be okay, I focused on the fact that, right now, it already was.

“When I watch you sleep,” he said shakily, “I feel overwhelmed that you exist.”

My Happily Ever After was a strand of strung-together Happy for Nows, extending back not just to a year ago, but to thirty years before. Mine had already begun, and so this day was neither an ending nor a beginning. It was just another good day. A perfect day. A Happy for Now so vast and deep that I knew—or rather believed—I didn’t have to worry about tomorrow.

[dollar2host]

8 Benefits of Choosing VPS Hosting for Your Business

You will have a lot of things to think about when you are in the market for hosting, so make sure you do your research. You must select the appropriate kind of hosting plan that will correspond with the requirements of your website and go through a wide variety of features simultaneously. 

Nevertheless, selecting the appropriate kind of hosting for your website is among the most significant choices you will have to make. 

I'm sure you're familiar with virtual private server hosting, which is one type of hosting. This one-of-a-kind method of hosting has the potential to offer a great deal of real advantages to particular categories of websites. 

The use of virtual private server hosting has exploded, and there is a strong reason for this.

As soon as you have outgrown shared hosting and are seeking a hosting solution that is both versatile and robust, virtual private servers (VPS) can be the ideal option for your requirements.

In the following paragraphs, we will discuss what virtual private server (VPS) hosting is, how it is distinct from other types of hosting, and lastly, we will go into the benefits of this type of hosting so that you may determine whether or not it is suitable for your requirements. 

What is VPS Hosting?

The abbreviation for "Virtual Private Server" is "VPS." It's possible that you don't understand what I'm saying just yet, but take a moment to read on. 

The virtual component is the primary characteristic of virtual private server hosting. Virtualization technology, which functions by creating a virtual server on top of an existing physical server, is the foundation around which it is built. The situation is that you have a single physical server, and this server is partitioned into a number of virtual servers.

All of these virtual servers are completely independent of one another in their operation. Each one of them possesses their very own dedicated server resources. Even though you may still be on the same physical server, you will not be required to share your random access memory (RAM), central processing unit (CPU), or storage space with other websites.

It is important to differentiate this from shared hosting, which involves sharing a physical server with a large number of other websites, possibly even thousands. Additionally, while you are using a shared server, there is a possibility that other websites will have a detrimental impact on your website. 

In essence, a virtual private server (VPS) will function in a manner that is comparable to that of a dedicated server. On the other hand, it is far less expensive, which makes it more accessible to a wide range of entrepreneurs who operate websites. 

A virtual private server (VPS) hosting service can be compared to living in a high-rise apartment complex. 

All of the apartments in the building have access to the building's overall structure, which is shared by all of the apartments. Individual apartments, on the other hand, are fully separate from one another. You are free to transform your area in any way that you deem appropriate, and you won't have to worry about other flats having an effect on your available space. 

Within the context of this scenario, the physical server that you are all sharing is the building's physical structure, while each apartment serves as its own virtual private server (VPS). 

How Does Virtual Private Server Hosting Operate?

A virtual server environment that simulates a conventional physical server is what virtual private server hosting (VPS) uses. The partitioning of the physical server into several virtual servers is accomplished through the utilization of virtualization technology, which was discussed earlier.

Every one of these partitions functions as a virtual server, which enables every user to install their own software, operating system, and other applications at their own discretion. In the same manner as you would with a conventional dedicated server. When you partition your personal computer in order to run various operating systems, such as Windows and Mac, this form of partition is comparable to that. The operation of one operating system takes place within a container, which is completely separate from the other OS. 

In spite of the fact that it is a virtual server, a virtual private server (VPS) functions in the same way as a physical server. As a result, you do not need to be concerned about problems concerning other websites that could affect your website. 

The virtual private server (VPS) that you use to host your website provides you with access to a guaranteed level of server resources that you will never have to divide up among other users. 

Dedicated Hosting versus Virtual Private Servers

Before we get into the advantages of virtual private server hosting, let's have a look at how it stacks up against other types of hosting:

Shared Hosting:

When you use shared hosting, the financial burden of maintaining a server is divided among hundreds of other users. In spite of the fact that this type of hosting is incredibly simple to operate and is an excellent choice for novices, it does have a few limitations. 

An example of this would be the possibility that another website hosted on the same server could utilize more of the server's resources than it is allowed to, which could result in problems for your website. In addition, shared hosting can only handle your website up to a specific size and up to a certain amount of traffic. 

Full-Service Web Hosting

Dedicated hosting grants you access to the complete physical server that the website is hosted on. On this server, you have the option of hosting a single website or using it to manage numerous properties at the same time. You will have access to remarkable levels of power, performance, storage, and security when you use dedicated hosting. 

Dedicated hosting, on the other hand, is the most expensive type of hosting because you are not sharing the costs of the server. Additionally, you will be responsible for administering your own server, which means that you will need a greater level of technical ability to accomplish this task. 

VPS Hosting Offers Seven Advantages

A number of the advantages of virtual private server hosting have already been mentioned above. However, now is the time to delve further into the substantial advantages that your website will obtain after you convert to virtual private server hosting.

Listed below are the most important advantages that virtual private server hosting will offer:

1. An Enhancement in Performance

You are going to require a web host that is capable of supporting your website as it continues to expand in size and as the amount of traffic that it receives continues to increase. It doesn't matter how much traffic your website gets; you will always want to have loading speeds that are lightning-quick. 

Firstly, congratulations are in order if the amount of visitors that your website receives has been increasing. Subsequently, it is important to select a hosting plan that is suitable for your website both at the present moment and in the future.

It is possible that a virtual private server (VPS) plan is precisely what you are looking for. With virtual private server hosting, you will have access to a greater number of server resources, which will allow you to accommodate increasing amounts of website traffic while preserving its speed. 

2. Increased Capacity for Storage and Bandwidth

You will have access to extremely high levels of storage and bandwidth if you choose virtual private server hosting. Both performance (as described above) and reliability (as mentioned below) will contribute to an improvement as a result of this.

When you switch from a shared hosting plan to a dedicated hosting plan, you will be astounded by the amount of server space that you have available to you. Because of the high amounts of bandwidth, it is also possible to accommodate extremely high volumes of traffic without any problems.

Because of this additional capacity and bandwidth, websites that contain hundreds of blog posts, media-rich multimedia websites, and a great deal more can be supported.

An overview of the RAM, CPU, disk space, and bandwidth that are included in the Virtual Private Server (VPS) plans that HostGator provides is as follows:

3. Increased Consistency and Dependability

If you are just starting out on the internet, shared hosting can be an excellent option for you. In spite of this, it is possible that you will eventually experience problems with the uptime of your website because of the large number of websites that are jammed onto a single shared server.

However, shared servers have eliminated a significant number of problems that existed in the past. If you are seeking good uptime and performance, it is still not the greatest option for you to go with.

You are the only website that makes use of the server's resources when you have a virtual private server (VPS). Therefore, the only uptime issues that you will experience are those that result from selecting a hosting provider of inadequate quality or from surpassing the resources that are already included in your plan.

4. Higher levels of control and customization of the server

Higher levels of server control and customization are typically included in virtual private server (VPS) hosting options. Therefore, if you need a certain operating system or a server configuration that is not supported by a shared hosting plan, then virtual private servers (VPS) can be the best option for you.

In addition, you are granted root access to the server, which is comparable to dedicated hosting. This basically means that you start with a blank slate and have the ability to configure your server to meet the precise requirements of your website. 

In the case of particular websites that call for a specific software or server configuration, this is an absolute must. 

There are certain kinds of websites, such as eCommerce websites that could potentially profit from having virtual private server hosting from the very beginning. The majority of websites that are used for eCommerce either make use of software or demand more stringent security standards, both of which may not be suitable with shared hosting configurations. 

One of the benefits of virtual private server hosting is that it allows you to tailor your hosting configuration to precisely meet the specific needs of your website. 

5. The Capability to Scale Your Server Configuration

Additionally, virtual private server hosting is quite scalable. This means that you can rely on virtual private server hosting to be able to develop together with you if the traffic levels on your website are on the rise.

When compared to other types of hosting, such as shared hosting, where you will be required to upgrade to a different kind of hosting totally after you reach the boundaries of your plan, this is a far more affordable option. 

To add more resources to your server, all you need to do is click a button when you are using virtual private server hosting. In addition to this, it is simpler to adjust the number of resources for your server. Therefore, you are able to scale up while you are running a promotion or during the busy holiday season and then scale back down when the traffic levels return to normal. 

This could be the ideal option for you if you have a website that has fluctuating levels of traffic or if the traffic on your website continues to increase. 

6. Less Expensive in Relation to Traditional Dedicated Hosting

Dedicated hosting is often among the most expensive hosting options available, which is the reason why many website proprietors are unable to participate in this type of hosting. On the other hand, virtual private server hosting can offer you the same degree of capabilities without requiring you to make a significant financial investment.

Although you might not be able to purchase a server that is as huge, this will be more than sufficient for the majority of website owners.  

When you use dedicated hosting, you will wind up paying for the entire server, regardless of the percentage of the server's resources that you are currently utilizing. On the other hand, virtual private server hosting gives you more control over the resources of the server, which means that you will only wind up paying for the resources that you are working with at the moment. 

Because of this, it is more cost-effective than dedicated hosting, even after taking into account the initial monthly price point. 

7. Have the assistance of a knowledgeable technical team

Using a virtual private server (VPS) to host your website is a higher level of technological complexity. This is an improvement over shared hosting, which is a type of hosting that is very simple to operate on your own. 

You will want to be sure that there is a reliable support team that is able to assist you in the event that you experience a problem with your server or if your website goes offline for an unknown cause. 

Virtual private server (VPS) hosting providers typically have a technical support team that is able to assist you. Some providers, on the other hand, offer extensive technical support exclusively for their virtual private server (VPS) customers. 

It is beneficial to have a support team that you can rely on when you require assistance the most, regardless of the level of technical expertise you possess. 

8. Increased Levels of Safety and Trust

Due to the fact that you are going to be the only website that utilizes a single physical server, you are going to have superior levels of protection right from the beginning. Additionally, this is only the beginning. In addition to this, you will have the chance to install individualized security software, firewalls, and any other security elements that you see necessary in order to transform your website into a stronghold.

VPS hosting is well-known for the increased levels of security that it offers. Generally speaking, it is comparable to dedicated hosting, which can provide you with some of the most secure hosting opportunities available. 

Obviously, a significant portion of the security of your website is dependent on the level of protection that your website itself possesses. Therefore, even if you have a server that is extremely secure, you will still need to apply best practices for website security. 

Is Virtual Private Server Hosting the Right Choice for Me?

When consumers outgrow their first shared hosting plans, the majority of them will upgrade to virtual private server storage. With this type of hosting, you have increased control over the environment in which your website is hosted, in addition to receiving additional server storage and bandwidth. This makes it simple for you to provide support for larger websites that receive a significant amount of traffic. 

On the other hand, some website proprietors could want virtual private server hosting from the very beginning. In the event that you are operating a website that requires higher levels of security, for instance, or if you are running an eCommerce website, then it is a good idea to begin with virtual private server hosting right from the beginning.

However, the majority of website owners will eventually go into virtual private server hosting. As soon as you have hit the limits of shared hosting and are observing a deterioration in speed, it is time to change to a more advanced hosting plan. VPS is likely to be the most suitable choice for you unless you have the financial means and the requirement for a dedicated server. 

The following is a brief summary of the advantages that going to virtual private server hosting will bring to your website:

An improved server that is both quicker and more dependable, with high uptime and rapid loading times.

You will have access to a predetermined quantity of server resources.

The capacity to increase the amount of resources available on your server as your website expands.

Isolation from other websites so that the quality of your own website is never adversely affected by another website.

Server customization and increased levels of security have been implemented.

Assuming that you have a comprehensive grasp of virtual private server (VPS) hosting and the advantages that it can offer to your website, you are now in a position to make an informed decision on whether or not this type of hosting is suitable for your needs. 

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[sexwithamanda]

No more Absolutes.

Hello. Episode #567

I don’t think that I’ve given myself a fair handshake over things that have happened to me. I love myself, my life, and the life that I live.

I’ve been blessed enough to meet some amazing people these last few weeks, but the one person on my mind constantly is two people that i feel like I keep choosing between. 

Let’s give two names, but they are going to be disguised. 

The first one, they are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. I’d swear I’d take a bullet for them. I have spent countless nights wrapped in your arms, tightly. I cried the night when I decided that I couldn’t be the person to move in with you. I held you so close to my heart, so much deep love. I think- but now I know for sure, he is one of the soul mates that needed to be placed in my life. From one conversation to another, from visiting each other on our breaks. They became one of the soul providers of love to me. What you gave me people can’t teach. Unconditional love isn’t something that I can explain to you. It is a type of love that always forgives, sees the light in every scenario, and continues to make you believe in humanity.

I made a decision that made me feel afraid, I needed to do it because I was afraid. I was so afraid of the freedom that I would be losing by knowing that I wasn’t fully healed. But, you allowed me to become a version of myself. 

You have no idea the acceptance, kindness, and understanding you’ve given me, more than anyone else. You have single handedly made me understand that life is worth it in every way possible. That sitting in room watching video games, and teaching me video games is beautiful. For a while I thought that no one could get me but you got me in a way that made me super comfortable. Unfortunately now I’m continuing typing this, I have stopped speaking to this person because of my boundaries. I want what I want and now I know for sure that I can enforce my boundaries in a way that will make sure that I get what I deserve. 

So yes, if you read this, a little note from me, be real with the type of person you want to be, the type of person you want to have in your life. With all that I am. I want to be treated as a queen, my door held for me, not a split second I have to worry about a date not being paid for. I am the prize, and I feel like women get treated as if we aren’t. We are. I deserve it, and so does every other woman. 

I am so happy that I know that I am doing what is best for me. I love the life that I have set for myself, and now tomorrow I return back to my job and I am lucky to be in the position I am in. I love my life and I love you.

Mahal Kita,

Amanda <3 

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚! 𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐀𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging, nor promoting mafia behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Suggestive themes but nothing too explicit, scenes containing violence and kidnappings.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

Hongjoong could already sense that something was off the moment he noticed the door wasn't locked and even more worrying was the fact it was slightly ajar. Quickly taking out his gun just in case, he kicked open the door and widened his eyes as it appeared like some struggle took place. Chairs were turnt over, busted picture frames and glass scattered across the floor, and even more terrifying, droplets of blood were seen.

"Y/N!" He quickly remembered about his spouse.

Running into the bedroom, it was in an even bigger disarray than the living room. On the bed, there was a note folded for him to read. Carefully opening it with trembling hands, his eyes took in each letter. Furiously, he crumbled up the paper and quickly dialed his most trusted friend.

"Get the squad ready."

Although you expected that sooner or later you'd be targeted just for the fact you were married to Hongjoong, nothing could have prepared you for it. After all, Hongjoong didn't seem to care much about you, treating your marriage strictly like a business deal and hardly interacting with you. It wouldn't have surprised you if he didn't even care enough to show up and save you.

But you were wrong when he broke in himself and got you safely out of there, despite having suffered quite a few injuries that had you worrying.

"Stop fretting over it, it's just a scratch." He told you when you tried to wipe the blood trickling down the side of his head wound.

"I'm sorry......you're hurt because I-"

"No one is to blame here but me. I chose to go after you and rescue you because I wanted to. If anything, I should be apologizing for getting you in this situation in the first place."

Sighing softly, you tugged at the dirtied sleeves of your shirt.

"It's not like it's really your fault. We were thrown together and naturally they thought they could get the upper hand if they captured me. And to be honest.....you didn't have to save me. I know you don't care about-"

With a loud gasp, you shut up when Hongjoong unexpectedly sat up and kissed you. You were stunned to react and even more shocked by his next words.

"I always cared. And that's precisely why you were kidnapped. From the start, I acted as if I didn't care about you to protect you. They would have never taken you if they thought that I had no regards for you whatsoever. However, I obviously couldn't hide my feelings that well, given the taunting letter they left me. As soon as I read it, I knew I had to get you back to me as soon as possible."

Kissing the top of your forehead, Hongjoong smiled at you for the first time in your marriage life.

"And I'm happy to take you back to our home, where you rightfully belong."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Putting the finishing touches on your makeup and fixing your hair, you beamed with joy at your reflection in the mirror. You felt truly beautiful and walked out into the living room, where your handsome husband was currently on his phone, no doubt talking about some business things with Hongjoong. He seemed to always be busy, never having any time for anything else.

Including you, which somewhat hurt you.

"I'm ready." You told him, shyly tucking some of your hair behind your ear as you hoped he'd like the dress you were wearing, choosing a blue color since you knew it was his favorite.

"Ok. Go wait out in the limousine, I'll be there shortly."

Barely even giving you a glance, he dialed Hongjoong up and continued to further discuss some matters. Sighing softly, you walked rather disappointed out to the car, slamming the door behind you. When Seonghwa joined you a few minutes later, you didn't even care to hide your anger and frustration at him. You still had a scowling look on your face when you arrived at the party, not bothering this time to stick by Seonghwa's side like you usually did other times, playing the role of a perfect and loving wife. And Seonghwa neither noticed nor cared about it. In fact, he never really hid how little your marriage seemed to matter to him. Perhaps he treated it as any other business he owned.

"Such a pity to see such a beautiful lady look so down during such a lovely evening."

Recognizing the voice as Minho, a friend of Seonghwa, you forced a small smile.

"Not really much to be happy about really." You merely stated.

"Is your oh so loving hubby being the usual prince charming he is?" He rolled his eyes, knowing full well just like everyone else how he really treated you.

"What difference does it make? He'll never even look at me."

Unable to let the opportunity go to waste, even if it was his friend, Minho gently caressed your cheek.

"You know....... maybe you should stop trying so hard for a jerk like him....and maybe open your eyes to someone who actually knows you exist."

You were frozen when he leaned in to kiss you, then gasped loudly when none other than Seonghwa pushed him off you, sending Minho crashing onto one of the tables behind him.

"She is my wife! And the next time you touch her, I will cut your hand off!" He warned him.

You didn't even have time to process what was happening as Seonghwa dragged you outside, his grip on your wrist tight and fierce. When you reached the car, you were going to ask him what was going on but you had no time as he pressed you against the car and began to kiss you fervently and hungrily. You were left speechless and breathless, with your legs getting weak as he let out low snarls in between his kisses on your neck.

"Mine.......you're all mine."

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

Both Yunho and you were beyond nervous at this point, hell you actually felt somewhat terrified. You knew exactly what his parents wanted when they organized this 'family vacation'. This wasn't a getaway to spend time together and they made it obviously clear at dinner when you came back from the bathroom and overheard him arguing with his parents.

"You know I can't ask her to do that!" Yunho adamantly said.

"You've been married for over a year Yunho. It's time and you know it." His mother insisted.

"I will not impregnate her. Have you ever considered her feelings? Maybe she doesn't want kids. Maybe I don't want kids, have you ever thought of that?" He asked them, voice getting more agitated.

"It's both of your duties to produce heirs to keep control and stability in the organization. Your life is at risk on a daily basis. If you die with no children it'll only cause chaos and disruption." His father reminded him.

That was the one thing you dreaded facing since the day you said "I do", having to be forced to become nothing more than a baby maker. Yunho knew from the beginning how uncomfortable you were during your first night together, that's why he ended up sleeping in another room, as he had done every day afterwards, not wanting you to freak out and giving you your space.

But now you both stared at the single king sized bed in your hotel room, reality staring you in the face. Neither of you said a word as you took turns changing and getting ready to go to sleep in the bathroom, Yunho letting you go first. As you crept into the bed, your hands tightly held onto the blanket, your eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, unaware of anything until you felt the bed shift next to you. You inhaled sharply when you felt Yunho's fingers caress your hair.

"Y/N-"

"Just get it over with will you?! Just knock me up and make your parents happy. I don't care anymore."

Although you tried to sound strong, the tremble in your voice gave you away. You could feel tears starting to well up in your eyes. When Yunho moved to hover above you, you instantly shut your eyes, tears lightly spilling out. You could feel his breath ghost over your lips and then suddenly they moved as he planted the gentlest of kiss on your forehead.

"Good night my dear. I promise I won't take up too much space."

Confused you open your eyes and watched as Yunho turned on his side, facing away from you as he scooted to give you as much room as he possibly could.

"I don't...I don't understand why..." You didn't even know what you were asking at this point.

"I'm not going to be that asshole that will make you do something you're not prepared for. I respect, value and admire you too much to make you go through that. I'll just wait until you're ready."

You weren't going to deny that your heart fluttered at his words.

"But your parents-"

"They can suck it. I've lived this long, I think I'll be fine. They can wait like I'm willing to wait. The only downside is putting up with their bullshit and nagging for disobeying them...."

You could tell he was falling asleep by the way his voice started to mumble and lower in tone, and his tiny yawn made it more obvious. You were prepared for his cute tiny rambling but you didn't expect what he said next.

"But that's what I get for falling in love with you..."

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Yeosang stared out the spacious window of his office, the glittering city lights looking as splendid as they did every night, bustling with sounds of the inhabitants coming out to party and overall enjoy life. They seemed to be mocking him, mocking him for being happy while he felt miserable and empty inside.

It had been hours since you had already left, your plane had probably already landed back to your hometown and you were now ready to settle into your new life....away from him. He couldn't stop replaying the argument you had just a day ago:

"Can't you at least pretend to care?" You spat out, dropping your fork against the plate of food in front of you.

"If you know what I'm like, why even ask?" Was his only reply.

"Yes I know what you're like! You're cold, stoic, soulless and have no regards for anyone's feelings but your own! Being married to you all these years, I know you better than anyone! But I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you not caring enough to even try." She could feel her voice starting to crack.

Letting out a deep sigh, Yeosang pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"From the beginning, you knew what you were getting in to. We didn't get married because we were a couple of lovestruck fools wanting to vow our lives to each other. Our parents arranged it and we had no choice. If you were stupid enough to catch feelings well then..."

Finally lifting his gaze to look at you, his eyes were unwavering as he coldly declared:

"That's not my fault. And you can't expect me to reciprocate your feelings when I don't even have any to begin with."

Not taking anymore, you began crying tears of heartbreak, anger, frustration and indignation all at the same time. Standing up, you firmly declared your intent of going back home, not willing to put up or stay with him anymore.

"Ok."

Not even a goodbye, a farewell or even another look at you. Those were his final words before you stormed out and made preparations to leave as soon as possible. Yeosang had spent the entire day pacing back and forth, unable to think or do anything except look at the clock almost every hour. He had been counting the seconds since your flight was scheduled to leave, that's how he knew you were home by then.

He cursed himself for being a coward. For not speaking up and telling you how much you actually meant to him, how scared he was of his feelings for you, and most of all, he hated himself for not running out to stop you. Now you were gone from his life forever........ unless....

"Get my plane ready."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

San and you didn't even meet each other until you were both standing at the altar, families ready to join together two criminal organizations to grow their power even further. Both of you looked at each and instantly felt what the other was feeling: shock, denial, insecurity, but most of all, fear. Both of you were afraid of what was going to happen. Though he was trembling just as much as you, San made sure to reach for your hand, squeezing it in his own. With that small gesture, you knew and felt what he was silently saying:

"We're going to get through this together. Just trust me and believe in me. I'll take care of you. You're not alone in this and I'll be right there by your side."

You two got along fairly well, even if there was still awkwardness between the two of you. You were both also still shy around each other that you wouldn't talk unless it was necessary or because something caught one or the other's attention and wanted to share their thoughts out loud, which the other one would try to enthusiastically add on to converse more, but it always ended in awkward laughter.

Yeah. It was extremely awkward. But at least there was no hostility between you two and you guys did enjoy watching movies together at times, hardly speaking a word, but there was no silence at all. You could read each other's minds and feelings all the time. It was truly strange how in tune your thoughts seemed to be at times and scary too. Your mind began to recall times when strange things happened like the time you were craving a certain food and coincidentally, San came later with the exact same food because he got a feeling you wanted some. Or the time you were supposed to go visit extended family but in the end didn't get on the train and went straight home because you felt San needed you. He thought you were crazy, but later that night he was burning up with a fever and you spent your weekend nursing him back to health.

"What did this all mean?" You both thought to yourselves.

"A soulmate is someone that just gets you. It's a connection of minds, a mutual respect, an unconditional love and a total understanding. It's about being yourself and knowing, not only that person is following and understanding your thoughts, but is right there with you, side by side." The actress in the movie you were watching said.

Suddenly everything seemed to click. At the moment both of you felt like the answer to your questions were finally answered. Slowly you both turned and faced one another. Giving you a warm smile as he read your thoughts, San leaned in to cup your cheek with one hand, his thumb drawing circles around it. Brushing his lips against yours, he sighed blissfully as he looked in your eyes.

"My lovely soulmate..."

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

When Mingi met you, he was sort of put off by how different you were from him.

"Hi! I'm Y/N, your soon to be wife but please don't think of me as that if you don't want to. Think of me as your friend. I just know we'll get along!"

You were actually squealing and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug, almost bouncing up and down with joy while Mingi just stood there stiff as a pole, wondering what the hell made you be so happy and cheerful like that.

"Ok.....ok got it, you can let go now." He tried to squirm out of your embrace, but you merely tightened your grip on him causing him to let out a harsh "oof!" at your strength.

"For such a tiny person, you sure aren't weak." He pointed out.

Married life with you for Mingi was...... different to say the least. He was used to such a gloomy, dark and hostile environment that having a tiny bubble bursting with energy was unusual and not something he was accustomed to. You always greeted him with such enthusiasm and happiness, not to mention you were such a caring housewife, always feeding him and taking care of him. Sometimes Mingi questioned whether you've ever seen the harsh side of the mafia world. Judging by your love for life and others, he guessed no.

And his assumptions were correct when you both were at a party held by some of his other mafia friends. Taking advantage of the occasion, rival gangs infiltrated the building. Storming in, explosions went off in several places, and gun shots were being fired at all directions. Mingi quickly jumped up and tackled you onto the ground, covering your body from the bullets that were being poured out. Taking your hand, he told you to stay down as he safely guided you out of the hall. Once you guys were far away, he quickly sprung up, pulling you up with him as he began running towards the nearest exit, pulling out his hidden gun just in case. You were in shock, even more when you guys passed a couple of dead bodies in the hallway. Feeling sick, you don't even remember how Mingi managed to get you both out of there alive and in one piece before the entire place burst into flames. Staring at the raging fire, you felt like you couldn't breathe, desperately trying to gasp for air.

"Honey, look at me. Look at me ok? You're safe. You're all right and you're going to be all right. Nothing is going to happen to you ok?"

You nodded, trying to choke back tears and forcing a smile on your face, but ultimately failing. Seeing you break down, Mingi immediately pulled you into his arms, his fingers running through your hair as he felt his heart break. You were such a fragile, sensitive and extremely precious person to him. He couldn't bear to see his ray of sunshine and hope in his dark world break down in front of him. He knew had to protect you at all costs and take care of you.

"It's ok my darling angel. I won't let any harm come to you. I swear on my life I'll protect you."

Wiping your tears away, he kissed the top of your head and smiled warmly at you.

"Come on. I'll take you home and have one of those cuddling sessions you always enjoy having."

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

You wanted to die, and that wasn't an understatement. You felt utterly humiliated at the fact your parents actually sold you into marriage to some mafia lord's son to pay off their debts. You didn't even have time to process anything, one day you were just bound and stuffed into the back of a car and soon found yourself inside a grand old mansion. You felt alone and scared, unsure of what was going to happen to you. And you were beyond trembling when you met your future husband, expecting some evil and sadistic man when in reality:

"Hi! I'm Jung Wooyoung, your soon to be husband and I can tell we're going to be really happy together!"

He greeted you with just a charismatic enthusiasm, eyes practically beaming when he first saw you.

"Hi, I'm L/N Y/N, the girl that's going to be caged to you for life......or death. Whichever comes first."

He laughed at that, coming closer and squeezed your cheeks.

"You're so cute, I'm already in love with you."

Love? You seriously thought he was insane. You certainly didn't fall in love with him at first sight. And even after months of being married to him, you still didn't felt love towards him, even though Wooyoung tried anything and everything to not only make life easier for you, but in hopes of getting you to reciprocate his feelings.

"Hey Y/N. Look! I got you a present! Open it. I know you'll love it."

You groaned at the thought of another expensive present being given to you. You felt bad that he went through all these troubles when they'd all end in vain. Peeling the ribbon off the huge box, you didn't even get to open the box since the Welsh Corgi inside jumped out and tackled you to the ground. You couldn't help but giggle when it began licking your face, its tail wagging out of joy.

"I knew you'd like him. Now he can keep you company so you won't be lonely while I'm gone."

Rolling your eyes, you couldn't let the opportunity pass to poke fun at him.

"Who said I was even going to miss you?" You chuckled, petting the dog's head.

"You never know." Wooyoung insisted.

Leaving you for 5 months, you couldn't believe you actually started to miss his obnoxiously loud presence. Sure your puppy kept you complaining and cuddled you, but it wasn't the same. You hated to admit it....

But you actually wanted Wooyoung to come back and smother you with what you always referred to as his annoying affection.

Opening the front door, Wooyoung called out that he was home. He smiled when he was greeted by his furry friend rather enthusiastically. But he was not expecting for you to run out and jump at him, your arms wrapping around his neck. Although he stumbled slightly, he made sure to catch you, your legs wrapping around his waist.

"Y/N are you-?"

He widened his eyes when you crashed your lips on his, kissing him as if your life depended on it. Once getting over the shock, he had a smug grin as he kissed you back.

"Told you you'd miss me."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

Jongho terrified you. From day one, you were intimidated by him. He always had a blank expression, hardly talked and he had a reputation for being brutally strong. Obviously you felt like you were walking on eggshells around him, afraid to piss him off. Anytime he called out to you or came near you, your body would jump.

"Y/N..."

Shrieking, you turned around when you felt his hand brush against your lower back. Tilting his head, he raised an eyebrow at your reaction.

"I needed something from the cabinet."

Without breaking eye contact, his hands gripped your waist as he slightly moved you to the side, fingers digging into your skin. After having gotten what he wanted, his thumb poked your nose as he winked at you.

"Thanks doll."

You swore he was teasing you. He'd purposefully use any occasion to show off his strength to you, his favorite being cutting up wood in the yard with an axe. You couldn't help but stare at his arms that were visible due to him wearing a sleeveless shirt. When he noticed you staring, he sent a smug smile your way which caused you to blush and you immediately retreated back inside the house.

There was also the time he accidentally walked in on you changing. There you were, standing in nothing but your lacy underwear set, for some reason not embarrased or hiding yourself as Jongho inhaled deeply as his eyes raked your body. Subtly biting his lips, he apologized before reluctantly leaving the room.

Both of you were frustrated by that point, tired of the light teasing. Jongho was the one who decided to put a stop to it one night he came home from a mission. He had been badly hurt and you, worrying about him, sat him down to tend to his wounds. It was a struggle since he had to remove his shirt and you were blushing violently, eyes always looking away.

"It's ok doll. I'm your husband...you can look at me."

His hands that were holding onto your arms began caressing your elbows, subtly pulling you closer to him without you noticing until you were firmly planted on his lap.

"Do you want me my little doll?" He asked you, voice in a low whisper as his breath fanned over your lips.

"Cause I've wanted you since the first day I laid my eyes on you."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

[obviouslygenuinely]

Babygate Analysis/Conclusions: A Non-Larry Perspective

(Image Credit: Hollywood Life)

I'm prefacing this post with a few disclaimers:

After some consideration, I chose to write this without factoring in Larry whatsoever. No Larry-related points, proof, or speculation in any way. This is solely analyzing babygate from an unbiased perspective. 

I don't claim to know the entire truth. It is impossible for any of us to know.  What I conclude is based on direct evidence, circumstantial evidence, research, and analysis.

I am willing to discuss opposing views. I’m happy to talk about the topic in a civil, kind, and mature matter. I will dismiss any discourse that is aggressive, immature, and so on.

I did not include every single opinion/conclusion/piece of evidence I found. I condensed my thoughts as much as possible (and this is still a novel-length post). There are so many more points I can think of. However, babygate masterposts cover all of that; I’ll link to some of those at the end.

The conclusion points aren't in a very specific order. I aimed to list related points one after another. Aside from that, it's not in order of "hardest to weakest" evidence.

Please read “Author’s Notes” for additional clarity/input. They interject thoughts/etc. that I feel are necessary to include. 

Lastly, I included links to every source I cited in this post. However, I did not tag the Tumblr users. I’m not sure if they are comfortable with having Babygate questions/comments directed to their blogs. If you are a linked source and want to be tagged, please let me know! 

My Initial Reaction To Babygate

In February of 2020, I received several messages on LateToLarry requesting that I analyze something called “babygate”. I had no idea what babygate meant at the time. 

I learned what it meant, and prior to any research I felt the theory was so absurd. I also felt uncomfortable analyzing it because I believed I’d feel bias as a single mom. The idea of discussing a random child in depth initially bothered me, too. I declined to analyze it last year.

However, I did a LOT of research over time. My opinion has changed significantly. Below, I’ve shared my main conclusions and analysis about babygate. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy my post! 

1. No Paternity Test Was Performed Prior To The Pregnancy Announcement

Louis was/is a prominent celebrity and has a current net worth of $70 million. From legal, financial, and practical standpoints, it makes no sense for him to choose not to get a test. 

It’s unheard of in Hollywood and the entertainment industry. Any sensible team -lawyers, PR reps, managers, advisors, etc. - would not just go along with it. They are employed to protect his career and image. 

The Opposing Views

A. “Briana/Louis didn’t want to risk miscarriage with prenatal testing.”

Non-invasive testing is completely safe for fetuses and pregnant women, so there’s no medical reason for the lack of testing.

B. “Louis chose not to get the test done because he wanted to be a father and was invested in the pregnancy/parenting.”

Time has shown that this is not true. Louis does not have custody; there was a brief custody case in 2016 that led nowhere. He does not have a consistent or prominent role in the child’s life.

Conclusion

There is no logical reason for the lack of paternity testing prior to the announcement unless Louis knew he was not the father and all parties knew this to be true.

2. There Was No Confirmation Of A Paternity Test After The Birth

I’ll keep this section fairly short. A quick Google search returns dozens of conflicting reports. Many of them state that Louis demanded a paternity test shortly after birth. Other reports state that he has never pursued a paternity test. 

Here are a few examples:

“Louis Tomlinson not interested in paternity test” - Business Standard

“EXCLUSIVE: Louis Tomlinson Demanded a DNA Test “As Soon as the Baby Was Born”” - InTouch Weekly

“Louis Tomlinson: No DNA Test Needed ... Positive Freddie's His Son” -TMZ

“Louis Tomlinson & Briana Jungwirth: WhyHe Had DNA Test Done on His Newborn Son” - Hollywood Life

This Twitter thread discusses TMZ reports that - as of 2020 - no DNA test was done.

Conclusion

There is no reliable confirmation that Louis pursued a paternity test. The media cannot come to a general/factual consensus.

Again, there is no reasonable explanation for the lack of paternity testing unless Louis knows he is not the father of the child. 

3. The Conception-To-Birth Timeline Is Inconsistent/Unreliable

Pregnancy and conception as a whole can be rather confusing; timelines from conception to birth are unique to each person. Having said that, Briana’s timeline is full of glaring inconsistencies that don’t add up. 

I’ll begin with this timeline based on bulletprooflarry’s post and my own research. Dates I’ve added myself include linked sources:

May 5th, 2015 - Louis and Briana were first seen together in public.

May 6th to May 31st, 2015 - Briana and her mom followed baby-related social medial accounts.

May 12th, 2015 - Louis and Briana were pictured together in public.

July 3rd, 2015 - Louis is seen with Briana’s brother in Hollywood.

July 14th, 2015 - The first pregnancy report is published.

August 4th, 2015 - Louis confirms pregnancy on GMA.

January 21st, 2016 - The child is reportedly born.

Based on the dates above, these are the possible dates/milestones for her pregnancy:

Scenario A - If conception occurred on May 5th, Briana was 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant on January 21st, 2016. This is considered an early-term birth and about 26% of births occur at 37 weeks.

Scenario B - If conception occurred on May 12th, Briana was 36 weeks and 2 days pregnant on January 21st. This is considered a late-term or late premature birth and about 10% of births occur at 36 weeks.

These dates matter because Briana’s alleged hospital stay was not consistent with a premature or early-term birth. She was pictured in public - healthy and holding a baby carrier - within one week of giving birth. 

(Image Credit: Daily Mail)

(Image Credit: larrysbbrbb28)

If she gave birth based on the dates above, it’s extremely unlikely that she or the baby would be out in public so soon.

Below are screenshots of an additional timeline from an archived Tumblr post. It provides excellent points about more timeline inconsistencies: 

The main inconsistencies and red flags are bolded in the post. It supports the unreliable conception timeline, and it also mentions my next point - the official pregnancy announcement. 

The post above mentions that the Jungwirth family followed baby-related accounts before Briana could possibly know she was pregnant. Here’s one screenshot from skepticallarrie proving it:

I’ve also seen several posts that show inconsistencies with the size of Briana’s baby bump. Unfortunately, the most reliable post no longer exists. You can view a web archive of Briana’s pregnancy photos, but most of the image links are broke. 

The only post I have saved is a web archive of a long babygate post. The beginning of the post contains photos showing discrepancies in the size of Briana’s baby bump. 

The Opposing Views

“Pregnancy looks different on everybody, everyone recovers differently, etc.”

Yes, this is true and a valid point! As a woman who has gone through multiple pregnancies and two live births, I truly understand this argument. 

However, the sheer amount of inconsistencies are what make this a red flag. There are too many unreliable and contradicting points to brush this off. It goes beyond the point of “well, each person has a different experience”.

Conclusion

There are a few conclusions/scenarios I believe you can draw from the information above:

Briana was pregnant prior to meeting Louis.

Briana was never pregnant in the first place. 

Both are valid to consider, but I personally believe she was never pregnant. 

(Author’s note: My calculation for dates are based on the date of alleged conception. Most due date calculators, by default, use the date of a woman’s last mentrual period - LMP - to provide estimations.

I also used Date Duration Calendar for my calculations. Accessible due date calculators only allowed me to input dates from 2019/2020. Depending on the tools and dates you use, your mileage may vary.)

4. The Announcement Itself Was Highly Unusual

This point ties into the first and third points. I don’t consider it a major piece of evidence, but it’s noteworthy due to the other points. 

So, there are a few reasons why the Good Morning America announcement stands out. 

A. If Briana got pregnant on May 5th, then she was approximately 10 weeks pregnant when the first pregnancy report was published. This also means she was approximately 13 weeks pregnant at the time of the GMA announcement.

If Briana got pregnant on May 12th, she was approximately nine weeks pregnant at the time of the first report and approximately 12 weeks pregnant at the time of the GMA announcement.

B. The public announcement on Good Morning America raises a lot of questions. I’ve had multiple issues embedding the video; the bolded link takes you to the GMA announcement on YouTube. 

Anyways, these questions/thoughts - disregarding any Larry theories -  come to mind when watching the video: 

This is a segment for promoting/discussing their album/music.

The baby announcement is the sole non-album/music related topic that is mentioned during the segment.

The announcement is not organically worked into the segment as a natural talking point.

Louis’ reactions - such as bringing the microphone to his lips and not talking - is very unlike his standard interview demeanor.

The male interviewer and the band members have noticeable facial expressions and body language that suggest discomfort, stress, or awkwardness. 

A post by skepticalarrie draws similar conclusions. Her post is much more detailed than mine, and I highly recommend reading/viewing it. 

(Author’s Note: I’ve touched upon this on LateToLarry and will make a post here eventually, but body language and facial expressions are valid. They’re valid to the point that they are used in court cases.) 

Conclusion

My conclusions here are twofold. One is that: 

Announcing a pregnancy - especially a celebrity-related pregnancy - this early is extremely uncommon and unlikely.

The announcement itself seems out of place and very forced. 

This particular point, to me, is not extremely strong evidence. I still think it’s worth keeping in mind and is relevant to other points here. So, I’ve included it either way.

5. Briana Posted Stolen Pregnancy/Baby Photos On Social Media

(EDIT: I wrote this piece before the recent release of Briana’s alleged ultrasound and don’t have time to add it. It’s pretty strong proof and can easily be found in recent babygate posts.)

Babygate posts often point out that Briana and the Jungwirth family used stolen/fake pregnancy and baby photos on social media. It’s a well-known topic that’s often discussed. 

I’m condensing this section to a few examples. I encourage additional research if you’d like to see more. 

A. This Tumblr post shows stolen baby bump photos that Briana’s cousin Ashley posted on Twitter: 

B. This Tumblr post and Twitter post show a stolen baby photo that Briana posted on Instagram:

(Author’s Note: Since I was not active in the fandom at the time, I am relying on information from other blogs and social media posts. I vetted my sources pretty well, but any false information is my own mistake.)

Conclusions

The only word that sums this up is “suspicious”. Using stolen photos of a pregnant woman/baby is not necessary if you are legitimately pregnant. That’s really what it boils down to. It lends to the conclusion that Briana was never pregnant. 

6. Photos And Videos Of The Child Are Heavily Altered And Manipulated

It is indisputable that many photos and videos of the child are heavily manipulated to alter his appearance. This goes beyond filters, lighting, and angles. 

Several detailed posts show the manipulations; here are some examples:

A web archive of all Photoshop evidence from tellmethisisnotlove

An in-depth post from genuineconspiracy that includes detailed photo evidence.

A video post from freefreddiereign that shows Photoshop evidence based on photos the child. 

There is no doubt that his facial features are frequently altered. This is easy to conclude using any free software that detects Photoshop. As a photographer myself, I can easily spot the manipulations.

(Author’s Note: I know that directly discussing the child is controversial. When I first heard of babygate, my initial reaction was discomfort about analyzing a child.

I quickly learned/concluded that his family members are responsible for heavily putting him in the public eye. All content I’ve used for research is based on the family’s posts.

Still, I have personally chosen not post pictures of the child, but the links I am sharing contain photos/videos of him.

Additionally, I used FotoForensics on photos of myself prior to writing this. It was important to me to feel absolutely certain about this point. I’m fine with sharing my own FotoForensics images if anyone is curious.)

The Opposing Views

A. “Freddie looks like Louis in pictures that aren’t Photoshopped.”

Parentage cannot be based on whether or not a child looks like his mother/father. I understand the viewpoint, but it’s simply not evidence. Additionally, thinking the child looks like Louis is a matter of opinion. 

There’s also the fact that appearance means nothing overall. Science backs up this statement very well. Examples and references:

“How can children from the same parents look so different?” by HowStuffWorks

“My Baby Looks Nothing Like Me: A Genetic Explanation” by FamilyEducation

Additionally, here is a personal anecdote. I have two sons close to Freddie’s age. One of them looks exactly like his father and nothing like me. The other looks exactly like me and nothing like his father. Despite how they look, they are both of them are our biological children. 

Conclusion

There is no reasonable explanation for altering the child’s appearance - particularly to make him look more similar to Louis. 

I cannot think of a single argument as to why the Jungwirth family would do this unless they need/want the child to look a specific way. 

7. Johannah Deakin’s Official Obituary Does Not Mention The Child

When looking into babygate, I read the argument that the child is legitimately Louis’ son because he is listed as her grandchild in Internet-based obituaries and announcements. 

I also read the counter-argument that Louis’ mother’s official newspaper/print obituary does not mention the child.  I recall seeing proof, but I did not save it at the time. I did some research and this appears to be true. 

The Doncaster Free Press is a local weekly newspaper in Doncaster, and it published an article about the funeral. The article is NOT an obituary itself, but it does list her obituary details. The publication does not list the child among the surviving family members. 

If a mistake is made regarding these details, it’s typical for newspapers to post a correction addressing a misprint. Upon further research, the Doncaster Free Press did not issue a correction at any time. 

(Author’s Note: I lost my own mother and am personally familiar with how local obituaries are written. Immediate family members - i.e. spouses and adult children - provide information regarding surviving family members.) 

Conclusion

The conclusion here is straightforward. Louis and his family chose not to include the child in his mother’s official obituary. This strongly suggests that he is not legitimately related to Louis. 

My Opinion-Based Conclusions

Update: After some consideration, I am saving my opinion-based conclusions for a separate post. I originally intended to include them here; transparency is important to me.

Unfortunately, the section became rather long and took away from the main post points. So, I’ll be working on a post that’s just my opinion-based conclusions. In the meantime, feel free to message me with any questions. 

Final Thoughts

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my post! I appreciate the interest expressed for it, and I hope it lives up to expectations. 

Again, I want to reiterate this is:

Not an all-inclusive post; I narrowed down my findings to seven points.

Not a masterpost on babygate.

Purposely omitting any potential Larry-related points to remove bias. 

I’ve reread this quite a few times, and it’s as error-free as possible. If you spot any mistakes/errors, I’m completely open to making corrections. Just kindly let me know. 

This list contains references/research about babygate that I consider the most reliable. It includes Larry and non-Larry related Babygate content.

Tumblr posts tagged with babygate by Tumblr use genuineconspiracy.

A web archive of babygate posts by Tumblr user tellmethisisnotlove (her account was deactivated by staff).

Tumblr posts tagged with babygate by darkrainbowlouis.

Tumblr posts tagged with babygate by skepticalarrie.

Lastly, if there’s interest in an opinion-related post or Larry-related post, I’ll consider writing them. Feel free to let me know as you all did with this post. 

Thanks!

Amy (obviouslygenuinely/latetolarry)

[theggning]

I Hate the Alternate Ending of Blind Betrayal, and Here's Why!

DISCLAIMER THE FIRST: Massive spoilers for Fallout 4 abound. This post discusses Blind Betrayal, a quest with suicide as a heavy theme. Content warning applies.

DISCLAIMER THE SECOND: This post discusses cut OFFICIAL content from Fallout 4 that has since been repurposed into multiple mods. I am not criticizing any modders or their implementations of this content. Mods are fun and people can enjoy whatever the hell kind of game experience they want with whatever mods they want.

I am ONLY interested in discussing the original cut content as Bethesda had written it, and how it would have impacted the story and lore of Fallout 4.

So, yeah, it seems there was originally going to be another way to conclude Blind Betrayal (BB).

As described in this Kotaku article (citing this post by Tumblr user tentacle-explosion,) there are unused audio files of Danse’s dialogue that show an alternate ending to his pivotal quest. These lines are the only evidence we have of this ending (suggesting that it was cut fairly early on, as no other actors/characters seem to have recorded for it.)

From what we can tell, in this alternate ending of BB, Danse comes up with a possible way out of the sticky situation re: his identity as a synth. According to the Brotherhood Litany, he is able to challenge Maxson’s authority as Elder via combat. If you agree to this idea, you go with Danse to challenge Maxson. The Paladin and the Elder duel one another, Danse wins, and Maxson dies. Then Danse names the Sole Survivor the new Elder-- or with a hard charisma check, you’re able to convince Danse to take the job himself. It is unknown how the main plot would have progressed beyond this point, as there is no other evidence of what being (or influencing) the Elder would have been like or what choices it would have given you.

There is understandable disappointment in learning that this ending was cut. Choices in games are great, and it could have been fun to have multiple different options for how to resolve the quest. In many gaming circles, people complain that this theoretical ending is superior to the one we got and shouldn’t have been axed. The Kotaku article calls it a “way better” ending, and you’ll see many players lamenting that it wasn’t implemented, saying Bethesda was bad at writing for cutting it, etc.

So why did Bethesda get rid of the Elder ending of BB?

In December 2020, after the Fallout 4 Cast Reunion, Danse’s voice actor Peter Jessop answered questions in a private signing session on his Instagram. Peter Jessop is an extremely kind and gracious man, an avid gamer, and a huge fan of Fallout. During the stream, he reflected on the alternate ending and remembered recording the lines, but stated the content was ultimately cut because Bethesda decided it was lore-breaking.

Peter Jessop is right. Bethesda was right. The Elder ending of BB is a bunch of dumb nonsense. It sucks, I hate it, and I’m glad they got rid of it. And now I’m going to tell you why!

SIDENOTE: King Shit of Fuck Mountain

There is no wrong way to play a single-player video game. If you are having fun, then you are accomplishing the task for which the game was made. Good for you! Play it on easy. Play it on hard. Mod it. Speedrun it. Make up an intricate roleplaying scenario. Perform “challenge” runs. Kill everybody you see. Ignore the story and run around collecting wheels of cheese. Games are meant to be fun and there is nothing wrong with enjoying a game however you damn well please. This is especially true for RPGs like Fallout, which are designed with player freedom in mind.

There is an RPG playstyle I like to call King Shit of Fuck Mountain: a naked power fantasy in which your protagonist is the most powerful person ever, even beyond normal RPG plot significance. Through brute strength, incredible charisma, or having completed tons of quests for world-breaking artifacts and weapons, your character wields godlike influence, able to control people, factions, and the fabric of the world itself. A game enables KSoFM gameplay when it allows the player limitless freedom to gain as much power as they like with zero consequences to plot or storytelling.

A great example of this is the Dragonborn in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. If the player chooses to pursue every questline in the game, one single person can become Harbinger of the Companions, Archmage of the College of Winterhold, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Nightingale and Guildmaster of the Thieves’ Guild, hero of the Imperial/Stormcloak army, the chosen one of like, 11 different Daedric princes, a bard, a Blade, and otherwise just, absurdly goddamn powerful in completely unrealistic ways. And that’s not counting DLCs. A fully-kitted-out Dragonborn is King Shit of Fuck Mountain.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with playing KSoFM if you like to. But I’m not a big fan of this style, personally. Sure, my first Skyrim character became KSoFM while I was figuring out the game, but after my first playthrough I preferred my characters become coherent figures in the story of the world. I pick one or two character traits and things that my Dragonborn is good at, focus on them, and make them part of some overall story. My honorable Imperial paladin werewolf is in the Companions, and hunts vampires on principle. My Argonian sneaky archer is a gleeful thief, but would never jive with the College or the Dark Brotherhood. I like creating protagonists who fit into these settings immersively. I don’t care about power fantasies or being in charge. I don’t WANT my character to be all-powerful, because that ruins my immersion and my little story.

Additionally, in a plot-driven story-focused game like Fallout, KSoFM tears the narrative apart. Skyrim is fairly light on story, so the Dragonborn can be the leader of the Companions and the Dark Brotherhood and whatever other factions without any of them noticing or caring. But FO4’s themes, faction drama, and the main thrust of the plot don’t work at all if the Sole Survivor is able to become too powerful or too influential. The Sole Survivor cannot become the leader of every faction, solve every problem, or eliminate every inconvenient bend of the conflict because it makes the lore of the entire setting implode. Thus, the game forces you to choose between factions. You cannot be with the Minutemen and the Nuka-World Raiders. You cannot be with the Railroad and the Institute. And you cannot become Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel.

So if you’re the kind of person who loves playing KSoFM, if you like plots that your character can “solve” with relative ease, or if you just think it would be super cool for your Sole to become Elder regardless of surrounding storytelling, then you might think the Elder ending sounds super cool. You are absolutely allowed to disagree with me here. Install all the mods and write all the fic and have all the headcanons you like. I respect that. There is no wrong way to enjoy a single-player video game. Have fun!

But if you’re a big nitpicky pedantic lore nerd like me, a fan of cohesive storytelling, or if you just want to hear how the Elder ending of BB absolutely fucking ruins Maxson, Danse, the Brotherhood of Steel, and the entire plot of FO4 from a narrative perspective, read on!

1. The Synth Thing

The Elder ending requires the stupid plot contrivance of the BoS forgetting about Danse’s synthhood.

One of the biggest problems with the BoS as an institution is their strict and dogmatic beliefs, which include a widespread dislike of non-human species. Perhaps more than any other non-humans, the BoS hates synths. Synths are, in their eyes, machines given free will, a violation of the sanctity of human life and the ultimate example of technology run amok. To them, synths are not sympathetic, they are not slaves, and they are not victims of circumstance. They are weapons that left unchecked will destroy all of humanity for a second time. Synths are anathema to everything the BoS stands for, and finding out that one of their most beloved and trusted Paladins is one is an earth-shattering blow to their integrity and sense of security.

It is completely absurd that the BoS would allow a synth within their ranks, particularly as they are waging war against the Institute, who created synths in the first place. It is even MORE absurd that they’d allow one to influence their Elder, or even worse, to become Elder. It completely undermines their mission in the Commonwealth, and the core tenets of their extremely rigid beliefs. No matter the Elder, no matter the Litany or obscure BoS law, no matter how valuable the Sole Survivor is as a soldier or how much influence they wield. Danse is a synth. He’s the enemy. He is physically the embodiment of everything they hate.

Not only wouldn’t they trust a synth in general, but the BoS specifically believes that Danse is an infiltrator for the Institute. Even Danse believes that he is a danger, that the Institute may be able to take control of him and use him as a weapon. Sure, we know none of this is actually true, or possible, but the BoS don’t know that. And given how quick they are to order Danse dead without even the possibility of surrender, I don’t think there’s any charisma in the world that’s going to convince them otherwise.

According to Peter Jessop, this, ultimately, is the reason why the Elder ending was cut. He talks about it around the 11:30 timestamp in his Instagram stream, linked above:

“We recorded an ending where you keep Danse alive and you take over the Brotherhood. But there was a question of content… there’s no way the Brotherhood, once they knew he was a synth, would let him be even the right hand of the person in charge.”

Bethesda correctly recognized the incredible narrative contrivance for the BoS to shrug off the reason they’re trying to execute Danse in the first place. Whatever other beefs I have with this ending conceptually, they all come in second to just what a big dumb leap it is to get beyond this first and most important problem.

2. The Complete Death of Conflict

The Elder ending of BB destroys the conflict of the quest, and potentially the conflict of the entire game.

Greed is a poison. There is no such thing as a perfect ideal or a perfect organization. Power corrupts. Humanity has the choice to build back better. War never changes. The Fallout games are full of themes, depicted by the characters and quests and factions we play out.

Blind Betrayal is rightfully praised as one of the most powerful quests in FO4. Not only is it well-acted, but it puts the player in a very difficult position. The BoS has given you clout and glory and free power armor and lots of firepower, but now you see the price: unquestioning obedience. You are ordered to execute your friend and mentor Danse for the mere fact he is a synth. Are you going to follow that unjust order? Are you willing to give up your principles on command? Or is this where you can no longer stay quiet and stay in line?

To be honest, I’ve always thought the fact you can talk Maxson out of killing Danse but still remain with the BoS in good standing was a cop-out. BB goes 90% of the way to forcing you to choose between a companion and a faction, and then chickens out at the last second to let you have both, if your charisma is high enough.

(I believe this has the fingerprints of Skyrim’s development on it-- Bethesda’s writers got nervous about doing another Paarthurnax choice involving the fan favorite Brotherhood of Steel. That’s right. Danse is the Paarthurnax of Fallout. Frankly, I understand why they chose not to go there, but damn, wouldn’t it have been wild? You want to run with the BoS? Then kill your friend and feel the burn. THIS is what it means to follow orders without question.

As for me, I’d pick Danse every time and sleep soundly without the company of shitty bootlicking dieselpunk LARPers- but I digress.)

Anyway, you know what would have REALLY been a copout? If the game asked you to make a difficult thematic storyline choice, and you solved the problem by just not choosing at all.

You are supposed to feel uncomfortable when Maxson orders you to kill Danse, because the game is telling a story about how it is maybe a bad thing to thoughtlessly follow orders without question. It is asking you to think about what the BoS is, what they are doing, and how they are going to run things, if you choose to let them “win” the Commonwealth. It is pointing out that there is no room for gray in the BoS’ black and white. That a good, loyal man may die because of the way he was made, through no action of his own. That soon, you’ll be killing other people on command. The Railroad. Fleeing Institute synths and scientists. Others, down the line. It all depends on who’s giving the orders. Are you going to follow those orders?

Eesh, that sounds thought-provoking and unpleasant and difficult! Let’s just skip it by killing Maxson and making ourselves the boss. Now we get to tell everybody else what to do!

It’s unknown what powers the Elder ending would have granted the player, or how it would have interacted with the other factions. There is speculation that you’d have been able to ease back on the BoS’ dogmatism, or change some of the later events of the game. For instance, perhaps you could talk the BoS down from attacking the Railroad, sparing popular characters like Glory and Deacon who must die in the normal BoS storyline. Perhaps you could have made the BoS a kinder, gentler faction and directed them to run the way you want them to.

If this was indeed the case, then the Elder ending would not only suck the gravitas out of BB, but torpedo the entire main plot.

If you can get rid of any and all downsides to siding with the BoS, why in the hell would players side with anybody else? With the player given total power, the BoS becomes a perfect faction with no drawbacks, no weaknesses, no tough decisions to be made. Screw slumming it with the Railroad or the Minutemen, let’s take over the BoS. Free power armor and a giant robot! Forget the whole intolerance thing, I hereby proclaim the BoS No Longer Problematic! Now to force all the factions to get along, completely removing all conflict and nuance from the plot!

That’s some real anticlimactic “tell Legate Lanius to go home and then he does it” bullshit right there. King Shit of Fuck Mountain!

Look, it might be nice if there was a perfect path like that to take through the game. It would be cool if our characters could be that powerful and the game was that tailored to our individual choices. On the other hand, “I change all the factions to suit my exact liking” might be a fun idea for a fanfic, but it’s an incredibly boring plot for a video game. “I get to make everything in the world exactly how I want it” is Minecraft, not a story-driven RPG with a complex and intricate plot.

It would be great if complex conflicts could really be solved that easily and effortlessly, but hey, you know what? War never changes.

3. The Assassination of Arthur Maxson (Literal)

Arthur Maxson’s death is too significant and fundamentally disastrous for the Elder ending to make any sense at all.

Hero, villain, leader, monster, tortured soul, brutal dictator, immature twerp, bearded sex hunk. However you personally interpret Arthur Maxson, there is no denying that he is a venerated, popular, beloved figure in the BoS. He is the blood heir of the organization’s founder, a powerful warrior, a brilliant tactician, and a charismatic negotiator. He is responsible for reuniting the East Coast BoS with the Outcasts, leading the new, stronger BoS with a sense of shared purpose. There is a damn good reason his name is Arthur and he named his ship The Prydwen, echoes of King Arthur and the legends of his glorious kingdom of Camelot. Arthur Maxson is so beloved that many view him as a demigod, a messiah sent to lead the BoS into a mighty and prosperous future.

So I’m sure nobody’s going to be upset when some wasteland jackass recruited a month ago stumbles in with a synth, kills him, and takes over his job. Right?

It doesn’t matter that it’s “honorable.” It doesn’t matter that it’s done “by the book” via obscure BoS rules. There is no codex or litany or rule so binding that it’s going to overcome the cult of personality around Maxson. There is no way that the BoS is going to accept the death of Arthur Maxson, a man whose reverence borders on worship, especially not when he is immediately replaced by a wastelander, or a synth.

The death of Arthur Maxson removes the unifying glue that’s been holding the BoS together since mending the rift with the Outcasts. Maxson’s death eliminates the one person that both sides of that conflict agreed could steer the organization in the right direction. Some level heads may try to keep the focus on the mission and the Brotherhood tenets, but Maxson loyalists will never forgive the new Elder for his death, and that amount of passionate righteous anger will not be quelled by appeals to the rules. The new Elder’s war on the Institute is basically over before it begins, when the forces splinter and start infighting over the change in leadership.

And this is if the new Elder lives long enough to actually give any orders. I give them around 24 hours after the duel before some angry Maxson loyalist “accidentally” pulls the trigger and “tragically” empties a clip into their back.

24 seconds, if it’s Elder Danse, the dirty synth abomination.

4. The Assassination of Arthur Maxson (Figurative)

The Elder ending of BB falsely pretends that Arthur Maxson is the biggest and only problem with the BoS.

In the Elder ending, as written, the conflict of BB is considered completely and totally solved by the death of Arthur Maxson. The core problem, that Danse is a synth and considered an enemy by the BoS, has not gone away. But by getting rid of Maxson, this apparently no longer matters. Nobody else is going to take offense to Danse’s nature or protest his presence. Nobody else is going to attack him or try to follow through with Maxson’s prior orders. Nope, that meanybutt guy who gave the order is gone, and everybody else is going to welcome Danse back into the fold like nothing ever happened.

I touched on this a little bit on an ask about Maxson a few weeks back, but a lot of people seem to believe that the FO4 Brotherhood of Steel is the way they are purely because of him. That he is the one making them treat non-humans as second class citizens at best, and enemies to be slaughtered at worst. That it’s his fault the BoS is so vehemently against synths and the Institute. That he is the one influencing their imperialistic tendencies, and treating the Commonwealth like territory to be conquered and people to be ruled over by their betters.

He’s not. That’s the Brotherhood of Steel, guys.

The charitable, altruistic, virtuous BoS that many of us met for the first time in FO3 were outliers. Lyons’ group was literally disowned by the rest of the faction because their kindness to wastelanders had gone so far astray from the “core” tenets. The BoS as a whole has always been exclusive, isolated, and seen themselves as “superior” to the average wastelander. They have long disliked or outright hated non-humans (and even Lyons’ BoS in FO3 use ghouls, feral or not, for “target practice” if they get too close!) The rigid dogmatism of the BoS is not something that Arthur Maxson started, but has always been part of their fabric.

Now, it’s true that Maxson is absolutely going hard on the BoS tenets, and extremely dedicated to upholding them. His BoS are the way they are and act the way they act because he believes that this is the way it should be. Is it possible that a different leader may be a little more flexible? Absolutely. Could a skilled Elder eventually show them the benefits of a softer approach and a more generous worldview? Totally. Is getting rid of Maxson and replacing him going to make that happen overnight, or going to make the rest of the BoS who supported him shrug and follow suit?

Nope.

Blaming Arthur Maxson for everything unsavory about the Brotherhood is unfair to him and also foolishly ignoring the deep, massive problems that are far older than he is-- problems that plenty of its members wholeheartedly believe are not problems at all. Getting rid of Maxson does not make the BoS kinder or gentler. Even pretending Maxson isn’t as personally beloved as he is, any new Elder who steps in and starts trying to fundamentally alter the way the BoS operates and what they believe in is going to face some major, immediate pushback.

Like, a full clip of bullets in the back type of pushback.

In the face if it’s Elder Danse, the godless freak of nature.

5. The Un-Redemption of Paladin Danse

Last, and my personal least favorite!

At first glance, Paladin Danse is a steely jackboot, a die-hard Brotherhood loyalist who fully and firmly believes in their cause. Many immediately dismiss him as a humorless brute, or completely ignore him because they think that’s all there is. But if you spend any time with Danse at all, you’ll notice a sort of weariness in him. He is tired, overworked, and his years of service are starting to weigh on him. He has watched friends, comrades, and mentors die in horrible and gruesome ways, and he suffers from PTSD. Though he has always been told that his own sacrifices, the sacrifices of his brothers and sisters have been” worth it,” he’s starting to question if that’s true.

After telling of the incident where he personally executed his best friend Cutler, who’d been turned into a super mutant, the Sole Survivor is able to console him:

Player Default: You did the right thing. Danse: {Somber} It's what I was taught. I don't know if it was right.

This line is an excellent summary of Danse’s entire character arc. He learns to question whether to believe what the Brotherhood has taught him, or to believe in himself. His gut feelings. His sense of justice and his own ideas of what’s right and wrong.

(In the interest of not turning this into an essay about Danse’s character, I won’t even get into how this also applies to his beliefs about his worth as a person. But keep in mind, that dimension is there, Danse just covers it up by making everything about the Brotherhood.)

During Blind Betrayal, after getting the orders to execute him and hearing Haylen’s plea for mercy, we may expect Danse to be ready to fight back or flee. But when you confront him in the bunker at Listening Post Bravo, he’s compliant and suicidal. Danse is so deeply poisoned by the BoS’ rhetoric that his own feelings or will to live don’t factor into the conversation. He demands that you follow your orders and execute him, because he believes, as the BoS does, that all synths are dangerous and must be destroyed.

Danse: {Stern} Synths can't be trusted. Machines were never meant to make their own decisions, they need to be controlled. Technology that's run amok is what brought the entire world to its knees and humanity to the brink of extinction.

{Confident} I need to be the example, not the exception.

Through various dialogue options, if your charisma is high enough, you are able to talk Danse off the ledge. He is able to consider, at least, that the BoS’ merciless judgment of him is wrong and that what he was taught isn’t right. He is a thinking, feeling, self-aware synth, and that makes him as much a person as any human. Danse is no danger to humanity-- and maybe, most synths aren’t either.

Danse is an example, not an exception.

Later on, if you manage to get him out of BB alive, Danse shows further acceptance of his nature. His approvals about synths begin to soften slightly (or many of them do, at least… it’s not perfect.) He is still struggling with his identity and reconciling it with his former hatred, but his dialogue suggests that he’s on the road to being more open-minded and understanding. Along with this, Danse learns that he has value as a person beyond the Brotherhood. He no longer needs to define himself with BoS beliefs or judge himself by how useful he is to them. He learns that he is worth caring about, worth being friends with or being loved because of who he is-- not what he is, in any regard.

[SIDENOTE: Many players, myself included, are frustrated that Danse’s arc leaves off sort of midstream there. Due to the open-ended nature of the game, we don’t get a real conclusion to his arc-- even though much of his idle dialogue doesn’t change and he still espouses pro-BoS sentiments ( an unfortunate by-product of writing for a video game) there is every indication that he’s started down the right path, but understandably has a ways to go.

Also, Peter Jessop agrees with us.]

Meanwhile, in the Elder ending, Danse doesn’t get a redemption. His entire character arc, actually, hits the skids and does a total 180.

He never leaves the BoS. So scratch the need for Danse to ever think about himself as separate from them. He never needs to question what they’ve taught him or whether they’re right or wrong. He never needs to find any worth in himself beyond his use to the BoS. Why would he? He might be the Elder. The BoS is all he needs to care about anymore. The BoS is all he ever needs to be, ever again.

And I think, most horrifying of all, this Danse never needs to change his mind about synths. On the contrary, one of the surviving dialogue files includes Danse’s speech to reassure the rest of the BoS of his stance:

Danse: I want to make one thing clear to everyone. This body might be synth, but my heart and mind belong to the Brotherhood. The Institute is still a tremendous threat to the Commonwealth. They possess technologies that need to be confiscated or destroyed. And even if that means I have to pull the trigger on my own kind, I’m willing to make that sacrifice.

Elder ending Danse doesn’t grow more understanding on the nature of synths. He doesn’t accept that synths are people, or anything more than technology run amok. He won’t even accept that for himself. Elder Maxson wasn’t wrong about synths-- they’re the enemy and they need to be destroyed.

But, see, he was wrong about Danse. It’s okay for Danse to exist in spite of his nature. It’s okay for him to never fully accept his own personhood, and to outright deny it to his kind. Because his body is a machine, but he’s different from the rest because his heart and mind belong to the Brotherhood.

He’s the exception, not the example.

CONCLUSION:

The Elder ending of Blind Betrayal is dumb, contrived, stakeless, character-derailing powergaming crap at its finest and I’ll happily dance on its grave.

People give Bethesda a lot a shit for their writing-- whether it be stuff they left out, stuff they left in, or stuff that they never, ever could have made work due to the limitations of writing for a video game. Plenty of it is well-deserved, or at least worth a discussion. But from the minute I found out about its existence, I have always wanted to extend a congratulations to Bethesda for cutting the alternate Elder ending of Blind Betrayal. It was a good choice. A very good choice to cut a very dumb plot that would have fundamentally altered the story they were telling, and characters that I’ve grown to love. I think the writers deserve some credit and a hearty handshake for the wisdom of this decision.

Now as for why Nick Valentine isn’t romanceable--

[imagine-straykids]

Stray Kids SS: Argument PT. 1

SS for short scenarios. Stray Kids arguing with their significant others

requested? No. I just write whenever I feel like it.

genre: fluff, angst, romance, etc etc.

---------------------------------------------- 

Bang Chan

     You’re no bragger but you think you’re pretty reasonable most of the times. You understand your boyfriend is a busy person and his work came first and foremost. You’ve tried not to take it personally and he has made it pretty clear before you guys even got into this relationship that he wouldn’t be the best person with time management.

     Of course you took a gamble and compromised to form this bond with the one and only Christopher Bang. You had always put his feelings first whether that’s him choosing his friends, work, or music over you, you were definitely okay with that as long as he came back to you at the end of the day. Even the smallest texts nearing the end of the night like “Goodnight sweetie, hope you had a good day!” was enough for you. You weren’t asking for much. You don’t know how much lower you can set your standards because slowly and progressively, Chan was already failing to meet them.

     The most you guys have ever been apart was maybe two weeks and even then, Chan had always made sure to check on you through texts or phone calls. So when it was nearing a month, and he has rejected your invitation to do something for the second time in a month, you were left to feel less than pleasant whether you had set yourself up for failure or perhaps did you deserve more than what you had settled for.

       You couldn’t help but to be upset to some degree and even then you still doubted if your feelings were valid. You even felt guilty since you had promised him a long time ago you would be understanding. Were you wrong for just wanting a little bit of your boyfriend’s attention?

       So when Felix brought you his breakfast treats like he would every Sunday because the boy loves baking, he could tell in your eyes that your world was seeing more than blue. You weren’t your usual self who was always welcoming and greeted him with warmth. The tone in your voice and your body language imitated that of a walking dead and although you tried your hardest to put on a great appearance, Felix could see right through you.

       When he had asked you if you were alright, a sea of tears just came bursting through. Like a puddle that you had held inside for weeks finally being freed. You told Felix everything and everything. It was nice to have someone to talk to, for once in a long time. Felix had always been very understanding of you and was very much like a brother. He reassured you and you felt so much better after, that when he left, you even thought you might finally be able to get a good nap after some words of comforts.

       Your nap was shortly disrupted when a series of loud knocks were ringing through your door. It took you a few seconds to process everything because your brain was still trying to wake up along with you. Then a beep from your phone was heard. You turned to the left side where you had placed your phone and noticed long notifications of texts and missed calls from Chan. Oh lord. Well of course who could that be at the door then.

       Felix had only told Chan out of good intention, and honestly you weren’t even surprised. Not one thing said to one of those boys will stay in its origin. You crankily tossed your blanket aside and walked up to the door as you took a deep breath. You opened the door and it was just the one person you were expecting.

       Chan looked totally out of breath, as if he had been beaten by a stick over and over again, you can see the sweats tracing along the line of his forehead down to his cheeks and his hair has gotten messier than usual.

    “Chan--” You were cut when Chan just shoved himself inside your apartment.

    “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He looked at you dead in the eyes as he shut the front door.

    “Tell you what?” You weren’t acting naive but you just wanted to know what exactly Felix had told him.

    “What you told Felix. Why didn’t you tell me that? That you wanted to hang out with me, that you’ve been feeling sad and lonely?”

    “I did. I asked you twice if you wanted to go out or do something. You said no both times.” You defended yourself.

    “Why didn’t you say anything when you were not feeling good then?” A worrisome look overshadowed his angrier look earlier.

    “Pfft,” you scoffed. You couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Really Chan? Do I need to feel less than okay, do I need to question if my boyfriend even wants to be with me, for you to actually worry now?” you challenged him full on.

    “What do you mean.” Chan wasn’t gullible, but sometimes when he gets too caught up on one thing, he misses another.

    “Why should it be my responsibility that you act like a reasonable boyfriend who cares about his girlfriend’s needs. I shouldn’t need to tell you when you should be doing your parts. You were on the line of almost ignoring me for a whole month, doing whatever you’re doing without caring for my well being, and the two times I ask to do something, I get pushed aside. And you’re here telling me I’m not trying harder?”

    “I already told you from the beginning, y/n, that I am not the best person to be in a relationship with. I lose track of times, get lost in my own thoughts. I apologize if I made you feel like I didn’t care about you. I do. Sometimes I just need time to myself, you know. And I try to do it without hurting your feelings but it’s hard. Because I care about you too.”

    “I know that you’ve warned me from the beginning. And I’m a fool. I can’t do it anymore, Chan. I’m not the girlfriend you want me to be. I thought I could do it because I love you so much... but it hurts to be away from you. I can’t do it, Chan. Sometimes I just miss you, and want to be with you, but I’m afraid I’m going to bother you because you’ve already set your boundaries. I’m sorry.” you started sobbing even thought you told yourself you weren’t going to cry. 

    Chan quickly pulled you into a hug as you ugly sob into his chest.

    “It’s going to be okay, y/n. We can get through this together. If you still love me, we can talk it through. You still love me, right?” he angled your frowning face up to his.

    “Of course,” you answer like music to his ear.

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Lee Know

    Before you ever accepted Minho’s confession, you’ve been told by nearly everyone around him that he would be a handful. And oh Jesus, you wish they had warned you better, because he wasn’t just a handful. Minho was a pain in the ass if he didn’t try. Even before you got together with him, he found pleasure in teasing and making fun of you whenever he got the chance to. 

    But besides the assholery moves Minho liked to pull, when he was just with you, he showed sides of himself that only you got to experience. That’s pretty much your answer whenever somebody ask you how did you guys even got into a relationship considering y’all were pretty much like fire and water. The person who everyone else found to be a living nightmare because you just don’t mess with him since he has such a way with his words, you’ll find yourself questioning your intelligence.

     Minho can either be the best person you’ll ever meet in your lifetime or as so he likes to claim, or he can be the person that makes your feet turn the other way whenever you hear his name. So you knew this weren’t going to turn out pretty when Minho was forced to be in a team with Hyunjin for game night and Hyunjin was losing every single point possible.

       At first, him and the rest tried to play it off light heartedly, but you can feel the room growing sour each time Hyunjin missed the hints and was unable to score a point for this game of Charades that was suggested by the super innovative Chan, who decided that Hyunjin and Minho in the same team was evolution.

       The others were having a blast poking fun at Hyunjin and Minho whose points were definitely not looking very nice until Minho out of a sudden, slapped the pile of papers onto the ground and said he’s had it.

    “I don’t want to be in a team with him! He sucks!” Minho pointed fingers at Hyunjin who obviously took it personal by the look of his face.

      The room silenced and everybody just stared until Chan spoke up, “Come on, just this once. You guys are never on the same team because you always want to change.” 

    “Yeah, because he sucks, can’t you see. Even a 5 year old kid would be able to score more points than him. We’re not even losing by a little. We’re unredeemable at this point,” Minho spit out without missing a single beat.

       Everybody was growing uncomfortable, especially Hyunjin who had done his best to stay positive the whole time.

    “Minho! Can you not. That’s incredibly rude. It’s just a game. Losing one night won’t kill you. How childish can you be.” You stared at your own boyfriend in disgust.

     “Really now, you’re going to argue with me against this?” It was like he really couldn’t believe you were not on his side.

    “So what if I am. You’re acting ridiculous and you deserve to know it.”

    “Guys! Please stop. Don’t argue because of me please. He’s right. I wasn’t very good. Don’t be angry at him because of me, y/n. I’ll be fine. I’m going to go outside to get some fresh air, I’ll feel better once I come back.” Hyunjin excused himself and left.

      You could only roll your eyes when Minho, being his stubborn self was refusing to go after Hyunjin and continued to stay in the same spot.

    “How selfish can one be.” You criticized him before you followed after Hyunjin.

     You had hoped Hyunjin didn’t think too much of it, knowing how Minho usually is. Being the sweetheart he is, he thanked you and told you not to worry. When you went back inside, the others notified you that Minho had already left and honestly, you could care less. He was being a d*ck and this time, you weren’t going to cave in. Only time would help kill that inflated ego of his. 

         About a week has passed and you still haven’t talked to Minho and vice versa. You knew that his diva ass would never give in, so you didn’t quite know why you were silently battling him when you’re pretty sure if you wanted to fix this, you’ll have to do it yourself. But you didn’t want to.

         You’ve had enough of Minho always getting what he wants, always having the last say in anything, and thinking that you’ll always bend backward for him. It’s kind of funny because Hyunjin had actually told you that Minho already apologized, so why are you guys still fighting? Pride. Now it’s just a fight of pride. And as much as Minho has it, you have a lot of it as well.

           It was the weekend, and usually you’ll spend your weekend with Minho doing whatever you guys usually do but since he wasn’t here anymore, you decided to just spend your day relaxing with a nice cup of tea watching Netflix. It was your day off work and you weren’t going to let this day go to waste.

           You gently set your tea down on the little table to your right, about to lay against the couch when the corner of your eyes caught your screen lit up with a text message. You sat back up and struggled for about a couple seconds trying to reach your phone that you had placed a little too far. 

           It was from Minho. You couldn’t believe it. Reading what he sent you just made it even more amusing.

        Stupid, are you going to apologize or not - Minho Lee

        Why should I apologize. What the hell? I didn’t do shit - Y/n

        Okay well I already said sorry to Hyunjin so I don’t know why you so pressed for. I didn’t do nun to you. I mean I know you kind of had a thing for him and all before we met but don’t take it out on me - Minho Lee

         This little shit, you thought.

         Bruh. I never liked him tf. I just think he’s very pretty. Prettier than me. And unlike someone, he actually has half a brain and some human decency - Y/n

           Okay we get it, you have a crush on Hyunjin - Minho Lee

           No, dumbass. The problem is you always going around saying, doing whatever you like without considering other people’s feelings. I know that’s your personality and all, but there’s a limit between what’s okay and what’s crossing the line, and whenever I try to tell you, you never listen. Always doing whatever you want. Hyunjin is one of your best friend and you hurt his feelings the other day and didn’t even feel bad about it until someone got in your face and told you you were being a d*ck. I love you, Minho. But I just wish you would listen sometimes and be open to I don’t know... improvements? - Y/n

           I’m sorry, I’ve just grew up this way so it’s hard to get out of a pattern. Sometimes I say things I don’t mean and sometimes I say things I do mean and then I don’t realize that my actions has caused harm to the other person, because I’ve just always been this way you know. Others have tried telling me before but I've always brushed it off because I am a stubborn person. But I care about you. You’re one of the very first person other than the members that I deeply care about. So if you’re telling me this out of love then I’ll take it into consideration. I know I should’ve been nicer to Hyunjin as well. Chan yelled at me for a while the other day, so please don’t yell at me too :( - Minho Lee

         Of course I care about you. Everything I do is out of love, dear. You’re one hell of a nuisance but I love you. I know you grew up this way and it is difficult getting out of a pattern, but take little steps. I’ll be here with you. and yeah, you totally deserved that from Chan. Jk I love you - Y/n

         You’re mean :( can I come over. We were supposed to go shopping today - Minho Lee

          Mhmmm. Let me think about it - Y/n

          Well you have 2 seconds, because I’m already outside your door - Minho Lee

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Changbin

    Changbin liked to brag about anything and everything, whether that’s how many confessions he got on Valentines, to how many people who wanted to be his partner when it came to a science project, or even the amount of girls that would hit on him daily.

    You never really minded because that was just how he is. And of course, mainly because you knew all those scenarios only existed in his head and was as real as flying fairies and pink unicorns. So when someone was actually blatantly hitting on him, Changbin wasn’t as knowledgeable as his bluffs claimed to be.

    Changbin was one of the best from his music class, so good that the professor made him the teacher’s assistant even when the semester was on going. He usually talk tales of how many students usually needs his help when it came to writing lyrics or composing as a beginner. Interesting enough, but nothing major as he’d like to phrase it.

    Then every time when you guys would usually meet at the end of classes to which you usually ask how his day went, he started talking about this girl who he’s currently assisting. At first it was nothing out of the ordinary. Just a student from his class who he’s helping because that’s his job. Even the first two or three days of his on-going blabbering about this student didn’t kick something in you until maybe the fourth time this week where this girl is always managing to squeeze herself into his schedule everyday. It shouldn’t have bothered you, but for some reason it did.

    Especially when he’d say alarming things like “Oh yeah and she also asked me if I wanted to get a drink after class but I told her I have plans.” or “She compliments me a lot and told me if I have time, she’d love to listen to my work.” 

    Maybe you’re overreacting and she’s just a really engaging and kind person. You felt bad at first for assuming such a thing about another human being, so you gave her the benefit of the doubt because you didn’t know your dumbass boyfriend would be this oblivious when someone is clearly trying to get inside his pant.

    So when you happened to walk past the school garden the following week and saw the both of them from your very clear sight, you were a little more than dumbfounded. This girl was not even trying to hide it at all. You didn’t know how Changbin was keeping his eyes to himself at this point. The outfit she was wearing was definitely very sexy and appealing. Changbin was still faced down, scribbling something on the music sheet trying to get the female to engage but she clearly had something else in mind.

    You could’ve sworn you saw her hand trailed alongside Changbin’s thigh and so you accidentally let out a shriek, but quickly hid behind the thick white pillar, grumpily dragging yourself back to class in anger after.

    After your final class of the day, Changbin waited for you at the bench near the entrance where you guys had always met up. He beamed with ecstasy once he saw you, but you quickly brushed past him and continued walking completely shunning his existence. His smile progressed into a frown once he realized that you were not in your usual mood.

    He ran in front of you and blocked any further movements.

    “Y/n, are you okay?” He asked with a concerning expression.

    You didn’t say anything and only continued scowling.

    “Come on. You know you can tell me anything,” He encouraged.

    You of course, continued to be silent for a few more seconds because you honestly couldn’t get anything out due to how enraged you were feeling on the inside.

    “You liar!”  you slapped his chest with literally no strength at all as your tears escaped at the same time.

    “Wait hold up, what did I lie about?” He was in complete confusion.

    “I saw it, Changbin. You and her at the garden. How could you let her make a move on you like that.”

    His face showed that it wasn’t really clicking with him until he thought more about it.

    “Who did I let make a move on me? Minji? I was only helping her, Y/n. Please don’t misunderstand. The class was getting really loud and we needed a quieter place, so I asked the instructor if it would be fine if me and her went somewhere else.”

    “So you just let her be all up on you like that? She was clearly hitting on you, Changbin. How do you not see it?” School was no place to be emotional, but here you were, bawling like a little baby at the entrance of the school as Changbin tries to comfort you. You guys definitely weren’t getting weird stares. Nope.

    “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know you thought of it like that. Cause I didn’t. I just thought of her as another student that needed help. I’m sorry Y/n, if I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t do it on purpose I swear, because in my mind, there’s no one else but you. I know I like to boast all the time but I only do it as a joke because you seem to like it. I would never in a million year think of hurting your feelings. Hundreds of other girls could give me attention or like me, but none of them matters if they’re not you. I only love you, Y/n.”

    His words made you immediately stopped sobbing as if your broken heart has been patched up.

    “R-really? You mean it?” You pout.

    “Of course, silly. I would never think about being with someone else but you. Never.” He leveled your face with his.

    “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. Just seeing another girl being intimate with you kind of tugged something in me.” you awkwardly chuckled.

    “Aww. My baby was jealous. Not going to lie, you’re kind of cute when you’re upset,” He teased you.

    “Changbin!” you slapped his shoulder in retaliation.

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Hyunjin

    Between the both of you guys, Hyunjin had always been the one who had the upper hand in almost everything when it came to catching others attention. Anything ranging from looks, to talent, or even intelligence, you can admit he’s got it better than you do.

    Going out to public places, you quickly got used to getting stares from other girls or even old Aunties who would comment on how good looking your boyfriend was, and how lucky you were to have him. They weren’t wrong, you were of course very lucky to have someone like Hyunjin who was definitely way too good for you. You didn’t take it to heart very much that other girls have eyes for him the way you do, because he’s made it distinctly known that he only saw you. Jealousy in the relationship was a bigger problem for you than for him at the beginning, because compared to him, you were not as sought after.

    The whole duration of your guys relationship, he never had to deal with any actual threat or competition that he could possibly lose you, or that you would find someone else more intriguing than him because he was always accustomed to you having your whole attention toward him whenever he was in the room. So that was why when the opportunity finally present itself, he found himself developing a sort of ill feeling that he wasn’t familiar with. A feeling that left a bitter taste in his mouth, one that turned his vision red when he wasn’t a violent person in the first place.

    You had been talking about this friend all week, reminiscing the past to Hyunjin about all the crazy things you and this friend did back in the days. Hyunjin being the amazing boyfriend he usually is, was very supportive of course. You haven’t seen this friend in years ever since his family moved away to another city.

    He called you a few days ago to let you know he’ll be back in Seoul, visiting for a few days and wanted to catch up. How could you let this chance pass by. The person that was there for you when you had your darker days, the person that ran miles through the rain when you needed him, there’s no way you would say no.

    Hyunjin was more than happy to accompany you to the Mall although you did assure him he didn’t have to, as you didn’t want to bother him if he had plans, but he was persistent he wanted to meet your friend and get to know one another. Since he agreed to everything, you thought might as well introduce them to each other.

    But Hyunjin’s cheerful and optimistic aura rapidly changed into a stinging one when your friend ran up to you with a hug, and oh boy did your friend looked nothing like Hyunjin had drew in his head. In his head, he was a she. The person that was arms deep within your hug didn’t have long flowing hair, nor did he looked very feminine like he had pictured. He was growing some kind of hatred for this stranger that he barely even knew, and it was only solidified more when you would get so engaged in conversation with your friend, you would forget for a moment Hyunjin was even there. 

    The way you laughed at his jokes mirrored how you would exactly react to Hyunjin’s whenever he said something funny. He hated how your friend would sometimes pull you so close to him and you would just go along with it. Hyunjin literally felt invisible. This friend of yours managed to shrink you and Hyunjin’s year long relationship into what felt like you both only knew each other for weeks. Hyunjin could tell just by his body languages and actions that this friend knew you for years. And then he just felt like nothing. Hyunjin was nothing compared to this friend of yours, and he was mad at himself, mad at you, mad at him, mad at everything.

    He was so tangled up in his own train of thoughts that he hadn’t even realized you have been trying to call him.

    “Hyunjin!” you pinched his arm not too hard.

    “Oh I’m sorry, what.”

    “Do you want ice cream?” You asked him.

    “I’m good no thank you,” He answered completely uninterested.

    “But you love ice cream, Hyunjin. Are you sure?” you tried to get a confirmation just one last time.

    “Yes, I am sure.” He rolled his eyes as if he’s being pestered by an annoying bug. It wasn’t what he said but it was the way he said it. He was giving you attitude and you didn’t like it at all.

    “Okay geez, just a no would’ve done.” you frowned.

    Hyunjin has his days, but he’s usually self composed when it came to your friends. He had always been nice and pretty kind if someone was close to you since you were his girlfriend, but he was different today. He was hushed and soundless, not at all like the Hyunjin you knew.

    “What flavor would you like, Y/n?” Sanghyun, your friend asked.

    “Mhmm. Any flavor will do.”

    “I’ll get mint for the both of us then, if that’s fine with you.” Sanghyun looked for an answer in your eyes.

    “Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded.

    You were not too cool with the flavor but you haven’t seen your friend in a while and it wouldn’t hurt to just take it this one time, for him. It didn’t bother you too much that he might’ve forgotten. It’s been a while.

    Hyunjin was beyond confusion. For as long as he knew you, you hated mint. Absolutely refused to eat it whenever he took you out, and now all of a sudden you’re fine with it? For him?

    “But I thought you hate mint. So what? You suddenly like it now because he suggested it?” Hyunjin fired, as if he was ridiculing you.

    For a second you thought you forgot to clean your ears, because you refuse to acknowledge that Hyunjin was actually trying to cause a scene right now, in the mall, with your friend by your side, in front of all these people.

    “What’s up with you today, Hyunjin. Giving me an attitude when I asked a simple question and now this? If you have a problem, you can tell me. No need to make a scene,” you scolded him, utterly embarrassed by your boyfriend’s action.

    Sanghyun looked terrified down to his toes just glaring you guys down.

    “Fine, I’ll tell you what my problem is.” And without your consent, Hyunjin somehow managed to drag you all the way to the parking lot against your protest.

    “Let go, Hyunjin!” you threw his hold off of you.

    “What the hell is your problem? You made me look like an absolutely fool back there. How do you think Sanghyun feels now, seeing how much of an asshat my boyfriend is acting after all those stories I told him about how you’re the most kind and caring person ever,” you raised your voice, too irritated at this point to even care if anyone heard you.

    “Well, I probably wouldn’t be acting like this in the first place if you had made it clearer that your friend was a freaking guy.”

    “Really, Hyunjin. Is this what it’s about? That my friend is a guy? That’s it? I’m sorry but, if you’re going to act childish and jealous because you can’t handle me being friends with the opposite gender, then that’s your problem. Not mine. Besides, we don’t even like each other like that. He was one of my only friend back when I had nobody. He was there for me when no one else was. I don’t see anything else in him but the same guy back then who was like a best friend to me.”

    You had hope you knocked some sense into him. Your tone turning from furious to more serious.

    “I don’t care if he was your friend from back then or whatever. You have me now. I don’t like the way he looks at you, or act around you. I never act like that around any other females.”

    You were this close. This close to just straight punching him and running him over with his own car. The person you were talking to right now and yesterday was the difference between day and night. You think that might’ve been the shittiest thing Hyunjin has ever said since you’ve known him and you were denying it yourself that it came out of his mouth.

    “Oh go cry me a river, Hyunjin! When I was telling you the details of my past friendship before you even knew the gender, you were rooting for me, but now that you know it’s a guy you’re all of a sudden acting like a little bitch? Why does it matter whether it’s a guy or a girl?” You questioned his integrity, but most of all, you were just in disbelief.

    “Fine, whatever. Suit yourself.” He sarcastically threw his hands up in the air in defeat and drove away without final words from you. Unfuckingbelievable. He was like a little child throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted.

    You didn’t want to leave Sanghyun hanging, but if you were to be frank, Hyunjin totally killed all the good vibes within you and left you with no motivation or energy to do anything else. You made way back to the ice cream court and simply apologized to Sanghyun on yours and Hyunjin’s behalf. He didn’t mind too much and only wished you luck on the relationship. It was a bummer that he was leaving tomorrow already and the only day he was free to spend it with you, your man child “boyfriend” had to go and ruin it all.

    When you entered the lonely atmosphere of your hollowed apartment, Hyunjin’s well being did crossed your mind because he was notorious for being quite stupid, always acting on his feelings whenever he was upset. You never had to worry too much before though because it was only on rare occasions where his head would be so far up his ass, but you knew this time was one of those occasion. But you were mad at him as well. Never in a million years could you picture him ever saying those nasty things.

    You settled down on the couch and eventually put your mind and body to rest. Today’s been a long day and you needed that nap more than anything. You had called Jeongin and Chan to notify them of what happened and to keep an eye out for Hyunjin in case, before closing your eyes and seeing black.

    When you were finally conscious enough, the only thing that made its existence clear, was the sound of traffic outside your window. You may have overslept just a tiny bit. Rubbing your eyes to get a better view of your surroundings, you felt a weight on you as you struggled to get up. Turning towards your left, you found Hyunjin completely knocked out and slouched against you with his head on your shoulder and his arms around your waist. Right, Hyunjin had a spare key to your apartment.

    He looked like an absolute angel that fell from heaven, almost as great as the day he conquered your heart. He was adorable and quite resembles a puppy when he’s not spurting all those hateful words. You needed to use the restroom bad so you made an effort to untangle him off of you but just as you were about to get up, a strong force wrapped you back down. 

    “Ahhh! I thought you were asleep.” you faced him with bulging eyes.

    “I was.” He calmly replied, his arms still around you.

    “Bummer. I like it when you’re peaceful and not so angry. You are cuter that way,” you purposely jabbed.

    “I’m sorry. I really am. I wasn’t thinking at the moment and just acted on emotions. I’m really sorry y/n. I was angry when I drove off but when I got home, I just kept thinking and thinking and the more I thought, the stupider I realize I was... please forgive me.” he pouted and rested his head on your shoulder.

    “Oh you big baby. Don’t try to bribe me with your cuteness now. You made Sanghyun scare of you and today was his only free day to catch up,” you scolded him as you pinched his cheeks.

    “I won’t ever do that again, I swear. I’ll be better next time. I was just... jealous when I saw another guy acting close to you. It makes me scare that I’m going to lose you. I know I was wrong. But I just want you to know I’m sorry.” He said it softly but also with shame.

    “Oh dear. There’s nobody else I love more than you. If anything, I should be the one scared to lose you.”

    “I only love you, y/n.” He looked into your eyes and did that little smile that always makes your heart weak. The one where his dimples would pop out.

    “I love you too, Hyunjin. Now let me go, I need to pee.”

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SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH HYUNJIN’S. anyways.

Part 2 for the remaining members coming soon