#but they thought this would anger their godness even more
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OBSESSED with the whole american x 141 man combo. smut ahead!
Not necessarily giving up your identity when you move out of the US, just wanting to explore different cultures and see new things. Then you meet one of the boys, maybe it’s Kyle or Johnny, and they introduce you to your actual, literal husband within a week of knowing you. And Simon Riley isn’t a bad guy, they tell you, just a little rough around the edges. And you’re young, in a new country, you flew on a plane for the first time to get here and it didn’t go down so you feel invincible– and you fuck Simon Riley.
The mask isn’t even in the equation, he won’t wear it when he’s not on a mission or on base, and he’s got a scar on his cheek that’s textured when you grab his face and kiss him. He tastes like bourbon. You taste like vodka and lime. He lays you down on your hotel mattress and spreads your legs and calls you love while he’s fucking you.
“Fuck, lovie, like that. Take it like that.” you thought maybe the accent would make it too funny to be sexy but there might be something to be said about pavlov’s dog and the bell here….
He’s so big and so on top of you and he’s pushing your legs to your chest to pin you underneath him while he fucks you. You feel sorry for the other people on the floor the next morning but in moment all you can think is Simon, Simon, Simon and all you can do is beg him don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop–
You’re so happy you got your IUD before you started traveling.
Simon says sometimes he thinks he did it in the wrong order. You fucked and then he took you out to dinner. You tell him sometimes you wish he would have let you ride him that night. He remedies your wishes immediately, all the time.
Did you know there’s only one Taco Bell in all of England? You crave chalupa’s so intensely that you once rode a train for an hour and a bus for three just to have the worst Taco Bell of your life. Did you know that almost 50% of Americans own a gun or are proficient with one? Color 141 the most surprised they’ve ever been when you go to a gun range while they’re stationed in Texas and Simon tries to teach you gun safety but you correct him the entire time.
“I used to go hunting with my dad, Si, I know this.” and then you have decently good grouping that’s just a little to the left and Johnny tries to show you how it’s really done and– misses entirely.
“Is that how it’s done, Johnny?” you taunt, smiling so cheekily that Simon can’t keep his own smile off his face.
“Listen up, bonnie, I’ve done more training-”
“Doesn’t seem like it to me.” you mumble. Simon swear he can see the steam coming out of Johnny’s ears.
“Lass, so help me God, if you don’t-”
“Poor baby, Johnny,” you frown, still taunting him, your hips sway as you walk up to him and take his face into your hands, “Did you get beat in a shooting contest by a civvie? Will you live to see another day?” You shake his head in your hands and Johnny goes red for a completely different reason than his pride and anger. Johnny’s hands twitch, Simon can see him reaching for your sides as you release his face and step away from him. Soon, Simon wants to tell him, she’s going to tell you soon.
#guuuuuyyyyyysssss please don't judge me for not knowing anything about the UK#I know i could have googled it but im just a little rat okay#I don't know anything#simon riley smut#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader smut#ghost smut#ghost cod#ghost mw2#smut
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There is No Closure, Just Adapting To Life
Ao3 link: Here Master list: Here
Summary:
Danny should have asked more questions before accepting the request to fix a different dimension's time stream from Clockwork. He didn’t think he would be de-aged and live a different life where he would latch on to a new family and friends. It was nice being a part of a community of heroes.
It really wouldn’t have been that bad if he stayed there. Too bad that he was pulled from that world and back into his old one, both fulfilling his wish to see his original family and killing all the relationships with his new ones.
Now he has to figure out how to live in his original dimension again. And maybe, just maybe find a way to visit the one he forcefully left behind.
Chapter 1: Your trial period is over; your account has been put on hold.
Danny shouldn't be thinking about the past life he lived, shouldn't think about the parents who adopted him only to disappear for months at a time, nor the vigilante family he’d inserted himself into during their time of need. That life wasn't his to begin with! Just a dimension with a timeline that needed fixing in an unconventional way.
So, why is he crying?
He just got back to his home, time hadn’t passed here. He can see Sam, Tucker, and Jazz again! (He'll never see Cass, Jason, Dick, Damien, Steph, Kon –) He's more experienced and better at fighting now. He can protect Amity better! (He misses Gotham. The city seemed to make heroes feel like magic) Danny has his original life back… but damn it, he wants to go back! He doesn't want to protect a city alone again!
Danny curls into himself on his bed. Silent sobs racking his body. He's so different than he was before. His hair was longer and parted in the middle, nothing like his usual, (old), fringe style. His missing scars and the new ones he can't explain. Gods- (No, wait, it's Ancients) he is missing his spleen! How was he going to explain that, or any of this? Even as his sobs grew more violent, their volume didn't increase.
A trick he learned in the Wayne manor.
He didn't want to disturb anyone with his half remembered dreams of a different life.
Danny took a shuddering breath, the feelings he’d been trying to bury since his return hitting him full force. He’d been sucked back to his original dimension without warning a day ago. Clockwork, that bastard, didn't even give him time to say goodbye to the rest of the Bats and Birds. He was in his apartment as Tim Drake one second and plopped in Danny Fenton's bedroom the next.
His talk with the older ghost didn't make the situation any better.
He didn't explain anything! Just that his work in that dimension's timeline was done. If Clockwork hadn't time locked the portal Danny would've been in the ancient’s lair instead of dissociating in a room that doesn't feel like his anymore. He hates not being given a choice or having a plan.
Jason was right; anger was so much easier than actually dealing with your feelings.
His spiraling was stopped when he heard a soft knock on his door. Oh, he’d forgotten that Jazz was home. Living through a lifetime made him forget a lot about his first one. He didn't get time to follow the new spiral of thoughts before his sister opened the door.
"Danny?" Her voice was soft, laced with worry.
"Yeah," He hates how hoarse his voice sounds.
He should be better than this; he’s infiltrated the league of assassins for Ancients’ sake. He watched as she approached his bed, buried beneath blankets. He can hear when she actually sees him by her gasp.
"What happened?" Jazz asked as she sat on the bed facing him.
"I… I fixed a timeline in a different dimension for Clockwork." Danny can't bring himself to look at her. Everything is still fresh. The feeling he can just barely comprehend as grief has yet to settle inside him. He takes a deep breath. He can compartmentalize this and deal with it after Jazz leaves.
"How long were you gone this time, a month or two?" Jazz looks at him with unending patience and care.
"17 years," He whispers hesitantly.
"Oh… oh, Danny." He couldn’t have prepared himself for the shock and pained confusion on her face. She leaned her over him, pulling him into a tight hug.
Oh, he can't compartmentalize this after all. Danny’s breath hitched as fat tears began rolling down his face, dampening his pillow even more. His life as Tim made him forget what it was like to have unending support from a sibling. He loved the hodge podge of the Waynes, but he was a vigilante first. He wasn’t really family.
Just a coworker.
“You don’t have to talk about it if it’s too much. Just know that I’ll always be here for you little brother,” Jazz’s voice was gentle. Oh, did he miss her during those years. Cass and Barbara helped him cope with missing Jazz whether they knew it or not. He turned into her, relishing in the fact she was here. He may be missing a whole new family, but he got his old one back.
“I missed you, Jazz. Can you stay here with me for a little while?” He pleaded between silent sobs.
“Of course. I’ll be here as long as you need.”
---------—x—---------
Tim woke up to the sound of typing and the sight of red hair. He must have crashed at Barbara’s last night. He sits up, not fully awake just yet.
“Morning, Babs,” he yawns, eyes blurry.
The gentle but persistent clicking of keys stops with a hitch of her breath. "Danny, it's me Jazz. Is Babs someone you were close to… before?"
The voice he hears back isn't Barbara's.
It's one he barely recognizes now, made even harder to place with the barely covered pain. Jazz deserves a better brother than him.
What kind of brother is he, that he doesn't even remember his own sister at first glance.
Danny takes a deep shaky breath. No, he can't think like that. He hasn't seen her in 17 years, Of course he isn't going to recognize her. Still she hasn't changed one bit.
He can't tell if that makes it better or worse.
"Yeah" he croaks, voice rough from sleep and the lump that's formed in his throat. “She has hair like yours.”
“Oh… do you want to talk about it?” she offers awkwardly. She was completely out of her depth but still wanting to help in her own way. (Alfred would have loved to meet her.)
Danny shakes his head, pushing past the aching in his chest as he drags himself out of bed. He doesn't look back at Jazz, he doesn't want to see the pitying look in her eyes. Something ugly, angry, and raw always tends to creep into him when that particular emotion is directed at him, and she doesn't deserve that.
What a cruel joke that the one thing that he gets in spades in both lives is pity.
He needs a strategy if he plans to survive the next couple of days, (the rest of his life), and that starts small. Get ready and investigate what the hell was happening in his life before… his time mission. He lost so much time with his breakdown, how annoying.
Tim (no, he's Danny now) huffs, opening his closet. Well before he starts anything he needs a damn shower.
---------—x—---------
By the time Danny was clean and dressed, Jazz had left him with a journal with his name on it and her scrapbook. Ancients, she really is the best big sister. (Cass would contest that).
He knows that he should dive into them right away, but… he can put it off a little longer. Remembering and relearning will take time, and he has all the time in the world now, whether he likes it or not. Diving deep will be too much. He’s too emotionally raw, and just needs something to latch on to, like:
Next day survival plan 101, start small.
He can look at Danny’s phone; he’ll figure out what to do with Tim’s later. Remember, one step at a time; one thing at a time. Finding the device was easy, it was on the nightstand where he always leaves it. Seems like this is one of the habits he kept in both lifes. Opening it up was easier than he originally expected; he really didn't have a sense of cybersecurity beyond Tucker back then.
(…Now?)
The device was familiar in so many different ways; he always did gravitate towards technology (with Tucker pushing him forward right next to him). The screen lit up, showing the basic layout of all phones; he dismissed notifications from dumb games, leaving the social media ones. What he was really looking for was his messages.
He had a couple new messages from Sam and Tucker in their group chat. He should look at the chat, but, in doing so, he'd be facing the people he had been grieving their missing presence for the last 17 years. A missing presence that had him picked up so many new hobbies, just because they reminded him of his two best friends. Danny would have never touched a camera if it wasn't for the ache in his chest everytime he passed a looming gargoyle. The hundreds of pictures will finally be seen by their intended audience, if he could only get himself to open the gods damned chat!
Shaky breath slips from his lips as he steadies his thoughts. Baby steps. Look at the messages and go from there.
— New Messages —
PettyWitch
Tucker I swear if your ass isn't up rn, I'm coming over and replacing all of the meat in your fridge with lettuce.
TFine
give me a sec 2 get down there you can stop calling me
i'm not going to answer
what about Danny
how come you aren't calling HIM!!!!!
PettyWitch
Bc Danny can actually get up before noon during the weekends unlike other people in this chat! So he can be trusted to get to Nasty Burger on time.
TFine
HEY!
Their banter goes on. Danny scrolls through it with a painful kind of fondness draping over him. A hole that once gouged his heart was being filled, only to have a different part get ripped out for the same reason. The people he missed will always have some type of mouth on them, especially one that gets them in trouble. Moving past the too fresh grief and focusing on the conversation at hand does bring about a pressing issue, he's supposed to meet up with Sam and Tucker soon.
Shit.
Looks like he's facing more ghosts of his past-turned-present sooner than he thought. It's Tucker and Sam. They stuck with him through his death and his first hero career. If anyone besides Jazz could sympathize with him, it was them. Resolve hardened like the Bat he is (was —there is no way back to them now), he spends the little remaining time flipping through pictures and looping handwriting as he pieces the memory of his old life back together.
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Skz Calling you clingy
Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, I.N.
Part 1
Authors note: This was supposed to be out on Tuesday but then I got into K-drama and kinda forgot about. I honestly hate how this turned out but whatever. I tagged everyone who asked for part 2, if you want to be untagged lmk, also if you want to be added to my tag list for this series lmk
Warning: None I think
Taglist: @heaveniseverywhere @straykidslvr @staybychoice @luckymilkshakerebel
Not proof read
Word count: 939
Days passed since your argument and you hadn't gone back to the apartment. You'd been crashing at a friend's place, needing time and space to cool down. Lee Know, on the other hand, started to realize the gravity of his mistake and how much he had messed up.
He hadn’t expected you to just up and leave, leaving him alone in the apartment. He also hadn't considered the fact that you might not come back anytime soon. His initial indifference was gradually replaced by a feeling of regret. He had stood you up, ignored your texts, and then called you clingy. The more he thought about it, the more it dawned on him how much he had screwed up.
Each day that passed, the more he longed to see you, to apologize and make it up to you somehow. And so, after a few days of stewing in his thoughts, he decided to make the first move. He sent you a text.
The text read: 'Can we talk? I messed up and I'm sorry. Please come back.'
You stared at the screen of your phone contemplating whether to respond or not. Your anger was still fresh, but the pang in your heart wouldn’t go away. After debating for a while you decided to type a simple reply.
'Alright, we can talk.'
Your short response surprised Lee Know. He hadn't expected you to agree to meet so easily but his heart slightly leaped with hope. Immediately he texted back.
'Can you come back home? I want to apologize in person.'
‘Ok.’
Lee Know’s anxiety spiked at your simple 'Ok’. Did that mean you'd come back? He waited anxiously for your arrival, pacing around the apartment. He hadn't seen you in days and it was eating him up inside.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the sound of the apartment door opening grabbed his attention and he turned to see you walk in. Your expression was neutral and your eyes were slightly puffy. You avoided eye contact with him, closing the door behind you. A tense silence hung in the air as neither of you knew how to start the conversation. But after a few moments, Lee Know spoke up, his voice laced with remorse, "I'm sorry," he took a few steps forward, still maintaining a small distance between you two. With an apologetic look, he continued, "I shouldn't have stood you up and called you clingy a brat. God, I don’t even know why I said that. I should've been there for our anniversary and I'm sorry I ruined it. I hadn’t realized I hurt you so much."
You remained silent for a while, finally meeting his gaze. He looked genuinely apologetic, his eyes showing genuine remorse. He wanted to come closer and hug you, but he was hesitant, not sure how you would react. He knew he had caused the damage and now he didn't know how to fix it. You let out a shaky exhale, “You really hurt me min…”
Lee Know looked at you, his face a mix of guilt and sadness. As you spoke, his heart felt heavy.
"I know I hurt you, I made a mistake and I'm so sorry.”
"I promise I'll make it up to you," he said softly. That day was a big day for us, and because of my selfishness, I ruined it. I was thoughtless, and I'm sorry.”
He looked at you, his eyes expressing his remorse. He took another step towards you. "I'm sorry. Do you," he hesitated for a moment, "Do you want to break up?"
Lee Know asked nervously, dreading the answer he might get, but he needed to ask, he knew what he did and said was wrong and unforgivable.
“What? No,” you say almost instantly, looking up at him, surprised he would even think that you know the argument was pretty bad and there were words that shouldn’t have been said but it was nothing that couldn't be talked out, and it was not bad enough to throw away a 2-year relationship, though if he hadn’t apologized it would have definitely been over.
He hesitantly closed the distance between you, carefully bringing his arms around you in a gentle embrace. He knew this wasn't enough to win you over but he wanted to feel your presence closer.
"I'm sorry," he repeated as he hugged you, feeling the weight of his mistake.
And he truly meant it. He wanted to fix this, to make things right. He knew it wouldn't be easy but he was ready to try. The thought of losing you had scared him and he realized that he needed to put more effort into being a better boyfriend.
“I know…” you whisper
Lee Know held onto you, not wanting to let go. He knew sorry wasn't enough, he knew he needed to prove it through his actions.
"I love you," he said softly. "Please don't leave me."
“I'm not… I won't…” You say softly, sniffling and trying to wipe your eyes
Your words provided him with some relief, a weight lifted off his shoulders.
"Thank you,” he said softly, letting go to examine your expression. He reached up gently, wiping away the last traces of tears from your cheeks. "I promise I won't mess up like that again.”
"I'll do better," he added. "I'll prioritize you more and make sure we communicate better."
He kept his arms around you, still afraid to let go. He wanted to savor this moment of having you close after days of missing it so badly. You two stay like that for a while before you playfully pinch his side, “You owe me dinner.”
#🍎🥝’s post#skz x reader#stray kids imagine#lee know x reader#lee know x you#lee know angst#Lee know hurt/comfort#minho x reader#minho x you#minho angst#lee minho#stray kids x reader#lee know fluff#minho fluff#stray kids x you#skz x you
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I don’t know if you do male reader! But if you can please do make it that and if not do gender neutral.
Buttttt I would love a fic where Male reader just puts Jimmy (mouthwashing) in his place, just fucks the shit out of him really, give him a taste of his own medicine kind of thing, just rough sex.
I’ve love your work, and your writing is so amazing!! Take your time please if you do my ask 😭🙏
Hi Anon! Thank you so much for this proposal and for your words. I hope you and others like this fic. 💙
Male!Reader x Jimmy (mouthwashing)
⚠️ TW: NSFW, abuse, degradation..
"A taste of your own medicine"
I had entered into this 'great adventure' to feel better and to be a little more useful. I don't think I'm a bad guy, I just have a very strong sense of justice when it comes to the bad things that happen to me or, rather, to the people I like.
When one time, Anya, the Tulpar nurse had taken me alone to the infirmary, only to break down crying in front of me, almost screaming about how Jimmy had abused her, used her, as if she were just another piece of meat; something in me broke at that moment, I was furious. Even though I only tried to hug Anya and comfort her
"Please don't tell him anything! He'll kill me, I swear, he will..."
"Don't worry, I won't tell him anything, I promise Anya."
Of course that was a complete lie but honestly, I didn't want her to worry anymore. Curly was a corpse that could barely breathe, Swansea and Daisuke were just trying to do what they could to keep going; and on top of that, this idiot, in the end, ends up getting away with it like a slippery worm in the mud.
So, I just didn't think about it, I didn't want to think about it. Do I really have to think about it at this point when we're all about to die?! I don't think so. I looked for Jimmy, and I found him, he was almost hiding (so to speak), he was in the console room, this room was full of that white foam shit, Jimmy looked upset; I went in, closed the door behind me, the room was red because of the lights.
"You?! Get out of here, I'm making a plan because of your fault, because of Curl-"
He spat out his filthy words, thank god I'm a bit taller than him and fast too, I quickly punched him in the face, sending him crashing to the ground, the metal making a giant clatter. Jimmy gasped, his face scrunching up in anger, already getting up as he staggered to punch me. I grabbed him by his overalls, "Oh, don't you think you can, you little shit" - I quickly tackled him back onto the metal floor, chest face down, being crushed by my weight.
"You think you're a genius, without feeling guilty about all the things you've done?! Huh?!"
I grabbed him by his hair, lifting his head forcefully to whisper: "I'll make you taste a little of your own medicine.."
He gasped in shock, I used my hand to slam his head back into the cold ground, him gasping at the pain it caused him. I quickly tore with what I had of my strength, of my fury, his pants and pulled them down, I heard him scream beneath me but I quickly spanked him even though he had boxers on, he screamed loudly at this.
"Shhh... You like doing this to innocent people but you don't like it when it's done to you? Crying bitch..."
I started to hit his ass more, his body responded with small spasms, he also let out small gasps at my spankings. I got closer to his face, my mouth on his ear to whisper: "If you try to escape, I'll kill you."
I let go of Jimmy's hair, for a second I thought I saw tears in his psycho eyes as I got a little closer, I could only smile at the thought. I positioned myself behind him to tear the fabric of his boxers, his ass was already red; I couldn't help but bite my lower lip furiously, seeing so much pain from someone who had caused that same pain.
I started to hit him more, his ass turning a painful red, I heard Jimmy let out a scream out of nowhere causing me to quickly squeeze his ass with my big hands: "Shut up, you didn't let her scream, why I would let you then? Get your ass up."
Jimmy's hips shook but he still tried to lift them as best he could, I saw him turn his head slightly to the right to see me behind him, I saw a small dry tear come out of his eye. I would lower the zipper of my jumpsuit to take it off below my hips and take out my cock, resting it between Jimmy's two red and sore buttocks, he would jump when he felt it: "Oh, is the abuser sensitive?" I said with pure sarcasm, he dedicated himself to sticking his face to the floor. My cock began to harden, leaving pre-cum at the entrance of his ass, I would rest the tip of my member at the entrance, I decided to take just a few seconds to tell him with a furious voice: "I hope this hurts" - I slammed my penis inside his ass completely, without gentleness, without love, only fury and revenge.
Jimmy's little screams would sound all over the room, with the red consoles and that foam around. I would hear him gasp, I don't know if it was from pain or pleasure, I didn't care; I would pull out and bury my cock against his ass while I grabbed his red buttocks to hold him even if it hurt, I would hit him from time to time, just to take out the anger I have of him ON HIM.
"Stop! Stop please!"
"Oh no... we're going to be like this until you can't move anymore."
I grabbed his hair back so I could ram him deeper, my hair disheveled from moving so much, in a harsh way I grabbed his hips and rammed one last time, my balls would pucker as I would cum inside him, even being inside, still grabbing his hair I would guide his head so he would turn to look at me, he had saliva coming out of his mouth, along with dry and new tears coming out of his tear ducts; I got closer to his ear and whispered:
"Take responsibility Jimmy."
I threw his head against the ground, leaving him lying there, as I stood up to put on my overalls without a care in the world, I walked to the metal door, before leaving I gave him one last look; lying there, panting, having small spasms, and the worst? He had cum, his semen shot in his abdomen.
#anya mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy x reader#mouthwashing game#smut#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you
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IT'S HEREEE OKAY LET’S GO DOM THIS LITTLE GINGER LOSER
And each time he failed at a task given to him by Morgoth, he would come to you first, seeking comfort and hoping you would ease your master before their encounter – like a child would come to their mother, fearing their father's anger.
Aww does Sauron need his mommy? Don’t worry babyboy I’ll be your mommy🤭 (good lord I am unwell)
All of the sudden, just to tease him, you stopped your hand's rapid movements and squeezed the swollen tip. Mairon whined and bucked his hips desperately, the tip of his cock pulsating under your thumb. When you let go of him completely, he spilled himself with a groan and blushing cheeks as his hips kept rutting into nothing.
I reread this paragraph like four times before moving on because... Because.
It was like a trance and you lost track of time. The Maiar needed no rest, therefore it could have been days – maybe even weeks – spent on nothing else but fucking yourself on his cock, using him for your own, newlyfound pleasure; reaching your highs countless of times and beginning all over and over again until the matters much more important than indulging yourselves interrupted your blissful state.
WEEKS!!! YES GET IT GIRL
He was like a dog, you thought, but you could not blame him. He had admired you from the very beginning of his service to Morgoth and now he had you as his spouse. You allowed him to enjoy himself because it was the day of your wedding.
God she’s so mean😩🙈 but the more sub!Sauron I read the more satisfying it gets serves him right to get a taste of his own medicine tbh😅
You would kill that Orc yourself if he maimed Mairon before you could lay your hands on him. He was yours to slaughter.
WHY did I read this as ‘if he married Mairon’?🤣
So possessive over his dick AND his death. As it should be😊
And as the Orcs kept stabbing his body, which was laying now in the puddle of dark and sticky blood, you raised the crown once more and put it on your own head, feeling Mairon’s blood dripping from it onto your face.
(I mean I knew it was coming but still)
He’s pathetic and I want him pls give him to me😭😭😭
This is a whole other kind of fucked up dynamic and all I can say is I love everything that comes out of your brain 🤭🥰❤️
— IN PERPETUITY (I)
PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader
SUMMARY — Two most powerful Lieutenants of Morgoth and twisted lovers in private form a pact through cursed marriage to become their master's equal successors and rule Middle-earth together. He, however, has other plans and does not intend to share. She takes the matters into her own hands.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — The idea for this fic showed up in my head while I was working on a different fic with a Maia!Reader, in which she is good and pure and all that. And that other story will be finished and posted, too, but with a delay because I focused on this one first. 🙈 The Reader in this fic is a Maia, so she changes her appearance like Sauron does but I am not describing any of her forms in any details. This fic will have a second part with Annatar!Sauron but in this part you get only Jack Lowden!Sauron because that ginger loser needs some love and attention as well. 😭🥰 The title of the fanfic and its vibe are inspired by the song Sugarbread by Soap&Skin. Special thanks to @dinsbeskar for giving me the most appreciated feedback before I posted this fic! 💕
WARNINGS — Reader is evil-evil with sadistic undertones, betrayal, murder, manipulation, gaslighting, blood drinking/pact/magic, mentions of Sauron being tortured by Morgoth, SMUT, sub!Sauron
WORD COUNT — 4,650
🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
IN PERPETUITY (I)
It was no surprise to any of The Valar that you were one of the first to follow Morgoth. You always found it troublesome to obey the orders, to show respect or loyalty. As if you had been already created flawed, although no one dared to question Eru’s decisions.
The gods were aware, however, that Morgoth wanted you as his servant as well for he was a god like them. Therefore, they expected you to come back with your tail between your legs, begging for their forgiveness since they were much more merciful masters than he ever would be.
Nevertheless, that did not happen and you became one of the most loyal Lieutenants to the Dark Lord. You sometimes amazed your own self with the amount of cruelty you were able to inflict. Perhaps Eru himself had created you this way indeed – perhaps you were evil by his design. Dark creatures like Morgoth or you were needed to emphasise the lightness – cursed outcasts to show an example.
Morgoth did not even need to break you as much as others who had followed him. He did not feel the need to rebuild you or push you as far as most of his followers because it did not take much for you to become the very worst version of yourself.
You were the lucky one.
Mairon was not.
You could hear his whimpers and screams of pain as he was tortured. And you watched and watched in awe at him transforming with Morgoth's help into the man that would from now on be known as Sauron amongst many.
But to you he would remain Mairon. And Mairon watched you in awe, too.
He observed you with admiration and curiosity. He wanted to be more like you – so terrifyingly beautiful in your art of cruelty. And he was learning the craft from you.
Until, eventually, with your master's help and by his twisted design, Mairon became a Lieutenant as loyal and fierce as you.
And each time he failed at a task given to him by Morgoth, he would come to you first, seeking comfort and hoping you would ease your master before their encounter – like a child would come to their mother, fearing their father's anger.
Everyone knew Morgoth was gracing you with a special treatment. And even though it was unlikely he was able to feel any real affection towards you, many knew that you were the only Lieutenant of his that he actually cared about because you were the only one who abandoned The Valar thoroughly and wholly.
You did not care about him, though. The Valar were right – you did not enjoy being under him; under anyone. And you truly hated the destruction that he was causing as you could not understand the desire of becoming the King of ashes.
You wanted to be the Dark Lady yourself and you often fantasised what you would do if you were him. His god-like status did not intimidate you and you could not care less whether it was a blasphemy or not to imagine yourself as a Vala. No god had ever intimated you.
You were your own god and you wanted to rule over the world. To make it perfect and harmonious.
You became closer with Mairon when you sensed his heart was corrupted with the same thoughts and feelings. And while your Maiar bodies remained focused on the battles and schemes – so unfamiliar with the carnal desires of the flesh – as you spent more and more time together and he shared with you his dream of forging the very special and powerful Rings, you could feel the strange and odd desire growing within you.
One day, you gave in to them.
You heard his screams of pain throughout the fortress like the ones back in the day when Morgoth had been shaping him to his whim and design. Now he was punishing him for one of his failures and your master’s wrath was undeniable.
Mairon was one of his best Lieutenants, therefore Morgoth expected from him the most.
And when the punishment ended, Mairon found himself knocking weakly upon the doors of your chambers. You opened them and gasped at the state of his flesh. He was too weak to heal himself fully, allowing the bruises to form and cuts to bleed.
You welcomed him and laid him down in your bed before tangling your limbs with his; his face buried in your chest as your fingers brushed his ginger hair and gently teased his pointy ears.
"My poor Mairon," you whispered and leaned in to place a kiss upon his temple.
He looked up at you with devotion.
Unlike you, he had been once Eru’s perfect creation – Mairon had been pure in his past, worshipping the Valar like he had been designed to. The Valar were no more in his heart but the devotion remained and you were the subject of it.
"Let me ease your pain," you spoke softly and caressed his cheek with your fingers, making the small cuts disappear as bruises began to fade away. He closed his eyes and sighed out of relief. "Where else can I aid you, my Mairon?" You asked as his eyelids fluttered and opened.
"Everywhere," he breathed out. "I need you everywhere, my Lady."
The odd desire you had been fighting within you for a long time now apparently was not one-sided. Perhaps a Maia fallen was a Maia burdened with such humiliating and carnal needs.
You rolled him over onto his back as you sat astride him with a sparkle of excitement in your eyes. Maybe it was not a burden... Maybe it would be a new adventure, a new path to follow.
You got rid of his robes in a haste as his hands weakly caressed your thighs wherever they could reach under your dress. And once he was naked for you – under you – you felt like an animal, driven by the urges you could not stop.
That felt ungodly.
Your fingers curled on his chest, scratching the flesh and you watched your nails leave red trails upon his pale skin. Instead of healing him, you only added more to the pain but the pathetic whimpers leaving his mouth were not of suffering but of pleasure.
"Yours..." was all he gasped as your pupils widened even further. Yours... How good it felt to have him at your mercy.
You were like Morgoth himself now with Mairon laid out for you, eager for you to shape him the way you wished him to be.
And you loved to feel like Morgoth, to share at least a tiny bit of his power. The realisation was enough to make you feel the itch deep inside the heat of your core.
"Mine..." you nodded at Mairon and grasped his length to squeeze it, watching him wince as the flesh hardened under your touch.
You kept pumping him and observing all his sighs, eye rolls and the tremble of his thighs. His eyes filled with tears as he kept bravely staring up at you despite his vision getting blurry and hazy.
Your pace quickened and you used your free hand to caress his thighs gently as if you were trying to soothe them but it only caused them to tremble more while you watched his body giving in to your touch so eagerly and easily.
All of the sudden, just to tease him, you stopped your hand's rapid movements and squeezed the swollen tip. Mairon whined and bucked his hips desperately, the tip of his cock pulsating under your thumb. When you let go of him completely, he spilled himself with a groan and blushing cheeks as his hips kept rutting into nothing.
What a pathetic and yet delicious sight it was. You felt the wetness between your legs leaking down your thighs already.
“You're so fun to play with, my Mairon," you pointed out. "I wish our master allowed me to be the one responsible for your punishments."
"I wish that, too, my Lady," he breathed out, putting his hand on his chest, surprised to feel how fast his heart pounded.
"It is not over yet," you pouted. "You spoiled my fun by giving in to your desires so quickly."
You smirked and with one swift movement you took your dress off to throw it on the floor, revealing your naked form to him. You adjusted yourself and grabbed his cock once more, so swollen and sensitive, which caused Mairon to whimper. You lowered yourself slowly on his length, hissing at the new experience of feeling full.
Your eyes rolled all the way to the back as you threw your head and scratched Mairon's chest when you felt his cock hardening once more inside of you and brushing all the right spots that made you aware of pleasures of the flesh you had never even known of before.
"Divine," he breathed out and you rolled your hips slowly with a whine.
When you adjusted to the slightly burning feeling, your eyes opened with a sparkle of mischief as you began riding him – faster and faster with each given bounce, keeping your eye contact with him although his vision was too hazy to see you clearly.
It was like a trance and you lost track of time. The Maiar needed no rest, therefore it could have been days – maybe even weeks – spent on nothing else but fucking yourself on his cock, using him for your own, newlyfound pleasure; reaching your highs countless of times and beginning all over and over again until the matters much more important than indulging yourselves interrupted your blissful state.
"One day, there will be only the two of us," Mairon whispered into your ear as he watched you getting dressed in front of the mirror. "And we will not leave our chambers for a whole century."
"Would you leave your kingdom unattended for such a long time?" You raised an eyebrow at him. "I certainly would not," you added harshly and fixed your gown's corset one last time before leaving him behind inside your chambers as you walked out with your head held high and back straightened.
With an illusion of dignity that was supposed to hide the fact you had just spent long and endless days on worshipping Mairon’s flesh with nothing but pleasure and devotion as he had been only laying there and receiving and you had been the one to do all the work like he was the master you served.
After Morgoth's defeat, Mairon and you both were the only ones who could possibly become your master's successors for you were his most powerful Lieutenants.
Instead of starting a war between yourselves, you chose to create a pact of taking over Morgoth's legacy together as equals.
The holy bond of marriage was the most suitable way to seal this union for all eternity, especially when it seemed that you two shared the same goal and the same vision of healing Middle-earth and crafting it to fit your peaceful ideal.
The oath had nothing to do with the holy Valinor's customs. You used forbidden dark magic to bind you two together in perpetuity; mixing your black bloods together and drinking the cursed mixture from the cup as you exchanged the rings forged by Mairon himself with your aid; made of dark iron and with powerful spells engraved on them.
Adar was the master of your ceremony. He had stayed by your side after Morgoth's defeat and Mairon had promoted him to the rank of Lieutenant because you two needed smart and loyal people – especially if they had a whole army of the Orcs following their every order.
You could sense your marriage pact with Marion was making Adar a little uncomfortable. He was watching you carefully throughout the ceremony and also during the feast where he was sitting nearby.
Mairon's behaviour was surprising you a little. Never before he had been so open with the amount of his devotion towards you. And now, despite the audience of the Orcs and the fallen Elves, he was all over you, kissing your neck between the sweet nothings whispered into your pointed ear as his fingers intertwined with yours under the table to squeeze your hand.
He was like a dog, you thought, but you could not blame him. He had admired you from the very beginning of his service to Morgoth and now he had you as his spouse. You allowed him to enjoy himself because it was the day of your wedding.
For you, it was more of a transaction. You cared about Mairon to some extent and your flesh enjoyed to fuck his but there was nothing in this world that you would love more than power.
"My Lady, can we talk?" Adar approached you when you were left alone for a moment.
You looked up, surprised, but the seriousness of his expression was making it obvious that the matter was rather important.
"What is it, Lieutenant?" You asked him as you followed him to the dark corner of the room where you could hide in the shadows together.
"I am a bearer of the bad news, I am afraid," Adar started and you furrowed your brows.
"Did Elven armies find our fortress?" You asked.
"No. Not the bad news of this kind," he lowered his voice even more and he glanced at Mairon from the corner of his eye.
You looked at your husband, too. He was talking to some of the fallen Elves and his excitement was revealing that he probably discussed his plans for the future.
"Do continue," you nodded at Adar, looking back at him with curiosity.
"Mairon does not plan to share anything with you," he informed you. "He re-fired Morgoth's crown to fit himself."
Your blood turned cold at the revelation. Morgoth's crown was supposed to be melted and turned into two smaller but equal crowns. That was the deal between you and Mairon – two spouses, two crowns, two Rings, one kingdom.
You glanced once more at your husband. How innocent he seemed at the moment, how devoted to you. And yet…
Your own student outsmarted you in the art of cunning treachery, so it seemed. You gritted your teeth.
"How do you know?" You asked Adar just to make sure.
"I was there," he answered with a hint of smirk, knowing very well that his delay of bringing you the news created a new problem for you.
"And you are telling me this only now? After I am bound to him forever?" Your jaw clenched out of anger as you realised.
"I have been a loyal servant to your husband and it still pains me to betray him by telling you the truth but I must think of my children first and at this very feast I overheard his plans for the Uruk. I cannot let this happen," he revealed and you sighed. You knew what plans he was talking about.
Mairon had never considered the Orcs to be smart creatures, therefore he often was speaking freely and openly about what he planned to do with them or what he was thinking of them because he thought they would not even understand.
Perhaps they would not but their Lord Father would.
"I have never been fond of your children either, Adar," you reminded him.
"Yet you make a better ally than he. I know you can give up on enslaving the Uruk if I helped you to rule over Middle-earth with their army in return. Alone. A Queen with no King," he whispered and his tempting words sent a shiver down your spine.
After a very short moment of hesitation – which surprised you to exist at all – you nodded at Adar.
“Say no more,” you whispered.
And when Mairon informed you a few weeks after your wedding that he wanted to be crowned soon and that he wished for you to be the one to put Morgoth’s crown onto his head, you agreed with a sweet smile that should have made him realise how false it was. But he was too relieved with the fact that you seemed to have no problem at all with giving him the most important title, therefore he did not notice the coldness of your gaze.
"My dear," he kneeled in front of you while you were sitting on the edge of your bed and he held your hands softly in his as he leaned in to kiss them. "It brings me so much joy to know it will be you to lay the crown onto my head. I do not wish for anyone else to bless me for I would not be here if it was not for you."
"Indeed, my sweet Mairon," was all you said with a scolding gaze but, once again, he chose not to see it. “My King,” you added with irony – one more time the tone of your voice remained ignored.
Sometimes, he would use his illusions to fool even himself. And that very thing would turn out to be his demise.
“You will be my right hand, my Queen, my goddess,” he kept assuring you and kissing the palms of your hands as you kept gritting your teeth.
His right hand, he dared to say. You were supposed to be one body, one soul. His Queen and yet she would bear no crown – not the same as his at least. His goddess but his devotion was a lie. He loved power more than he loved you.
But you loved power more than you loved him as well, so it was only fair.
And how else could you repay for his betrayal if not with a betrayal in return?
You already had a whole plan formed with Adar and all you had to do now was to patiently wait for the day of the coronation. You truly hoped that Morgoth's crown was powerful enough to kill your husband, so he could exist no more and so would the bond of blood magic between you be broken forever.
You were wearing beautiful, matching robes with your husband and your only audience were the Orcs and Adar, who was holding Morgoth’s crown as Mairon decided to give a speech to his new army.
You couldn’t help yourself as you kept glancing at the re-fired and re-shaped crown with a bitter and sour expression.
“Always, after a defeat… the shadow takes another shape and grows again. Morgoth is gone,” your husband announced to the Orcs. “Leaving us alone and disgraced. But today, a new age begins,” he added and you exchanged a meaningful look with Adar at the sight of Mairon’s fingers fidgeting nervously. “Under me. Your new master. Sauron.”
It should have been you. Giving the speech. Being crowned. And you would be. Soon. Very soon.
However, you loved the dramatics as much as your husband. And you would gladly allow him to make a fool out of himself first.
“And with a new age, I bring a new vision. A path to unconditional conquest. For I seek a new kind of power,” Mairon raised his right hand as he spoke, posing to be some sort of a sage sharing his wisdom. “Not of the flesh, but over flesh. A power of the unseen world. One we shall use to enslave the peoples of Middle-earth to our very will.”
The Orcs seemed to be content with his words and for that one thing you admired him, actually – the way he always knew what to say to make people follow him and be enamoured with his visions.
You knew that he did not care about what the Orcs wanted and the words he was using now were nothing but a temptation for them to obey his orders. But it was them he wanted enslaved, not the others. The others were meant to be healed.
“Many Orcs will die,” Mairon added and you felt Adar moving uncomfortably. The Orcs did not seem to be as happy as before and you could not blame them. You glanced at your husband with a raised eyebrow.
Sometimes, even the ones most graced with a gift of the golden speech, would say a sentence too many.
“But out of the chaos, we will forge a new and perfect order. No longer will we be hunted as the demons who broke Middle-earth, but rather worshipped as the saviours who finally healed it,” Mairon smiled, excitedly and you rolled your eyes. “By bringing its peoples together, to rule them all as one!” He raised his hands but he was overdoing himself, it was too much and the Orcs were not as stupid as he believed them to be.
You could sense their nervousness and you could hear their whispers in the Black Speech: “Sauron lies”.
It brought you lots of satisfaction as you smirked to yourself, however you had to hide that smile quickly because your husband’s eyes desperately seeked for yours. He needed your comfort and your encouragement, so pathetically. So desperate to prove his worth as he had always been.
You nodded at him with a sympathetic smile, playing a role of a dutiful and supportive wife.
“Doubt me at your peril,” he began once more but his voice slightly weakened as he did so and then he clasped his hands while his voice suddenly turned darker. He decided to use a different tactic. “You have nowhere else to turn. The Valar will never forgive you. Elves will never accept you,” he pointed out. “Men… Men will never look upon you with anything but horror and disgust,” he added with a hint of satisfaction and contempt.
Perhaps you were not as skilled as he was with your speeches but you knew that this was not the way to lure the Orcs. It was not the way to lure anyone. Mairon was losing control – even the fact his hands were clasped was only trying to hide how shaky they had become.
“A corrupted and ignoble race, worthy only to be haunted and slaughtered,” he continued as the Orcs began to growl. In that moment, you were glad you had your pact with Adar, because otherwise you would not feel safe amongst them.
Suddenly, one of the Orcs standing closest to Mairon attacked him with his blade, making an assassination attempt. Your husband swiftly defended himself and slit his throat, for which you were glad.
You would kill that Orc yourself if he maimed Mairon before you could lay your hands on him. He was yours to slaughter.
As the creature dropped down to his knees and continued choking on his own blood, you watched Mairon pull the Orc even closer and watch his suffering with the same fascinated expression as you had used to watch him when he had been reshaped by Morgoth.
And then, he finished the assassin off with his own blade being put into the Orc’s skull. Over and over again as Adar flinched at the sight of his son being treated this way and the Orcs kept growling in anger.
And you, in that moment – for a short while – actually considered following your husband like you had once followed Morgoth. To forgive him his betrayal and to play along the role of a dutiful wife.
His cruelty spurred you on as you watched and watched, refusing to look away until the Orc’s body hit the floor and Mairon threw away the blade to fix his ginger hair that had gotten messy from the fight.
You could sense his frustration. His blood was now flowing in your veins just like yours was flowing in his.
“I am your only future and my path is your only path!” He yelled at the Orcs, fury and rage filling him whole and causing the veins of his face to fill up and swell with his thick and black blood.
You cleared your throat, awkwardly. The admiration you had felt not even a minute earlier was all gone now and once again you felt ashamed of your husband.
Morgoth had never yelled desperately like that to get respect. He had never threatened – not so openly. His very presence had been enough to follow him out of fear.
“Who among you dare say otherwise?” Mairon asked, more calmly now.
Soon, he would find out who exactly dared.
But so far, he still trusted you. He turned his head around and nodded at you, his eyes filled with faith.
You nodded back and took Morgoth’s crown from Adar’s hands. It was heavy and powerful as its dark magic vibrated from it all throughout your body when you carried it towards the crowd.
The Orcs were snarling at you when you raised your hands with the crown, not pleased at all that you were about to lay it upon your husband’s head.
“All Hail, Lord Sauron!” Adar exclaimed in the Black Speech. “The New Dark Lord.”
The Orcs hesitated but they followed what their Lord Father said.
“All hail!” They chanted and you walked away to your husband, who had just kneeled for you.
Like in the old days, before all the battles Morgoth had been sending him to. Mairon would kneel and you would bless him with your sword.
You raised your hands once more as a thrill of excitement went through your body. Mairon looked up at you through the crown placed above his head and you could spot the hint of doubt. Your bond worked both ways and he could sense something disturbing about you but you soothed him with a soft and fake smile.
Unsurely, he lowered his head once more and looked down, waiting for you to grace his head with the burden of the crown.
And the crown was a burden indeed. So full of dark and powerful magic that you knew already it was most certainly enough to kill a spirit like your husband.
You turned it around in a swift movement and lowered it with all your strength to stab him in the back of his neck as the crown’s poison infected his veins and made him move back out of the sudden pain.
You took the crown away from him and took a few steps back to stand next to Adar as the Orcs began screaming and approaching you all. Mairon’s eyes were full of surprise and disappointment and he kept them only on you as you graced him with the same soft smile you had been giving him for weeks now; for him to finally realise how false it was all this time.
“You could have kept your promise, my pet,” you told him in the Quenya language.
Your words angered him and he tried to stand up with his weakened limbs to fight you but in that very moment a group of Orcs attacked him all at once, stabbing his flesh continuously as you watched. He was making an attempt to fight them back and for the state he was in, he was truly doing well, but they were too many and he was alone.
And even if some part of you would truly mourn for your husband, the dark item in your hand with his blood dripping down on the floor from its iron spikes was enough to bring your mind back on the right path.
And as the Orcs kept stabbing his body, which was laying now in the puddle of dark and sticky blood, you raised the crown once more and put it on your own head, feeling Mairon’s blood dripping from it onto your face.
You licked your lips to get the taste. For the one last time you tasted him as you smirked.
You turned your head around to nod at Adar and he nodded back at you.
All hail the New Dark Lady.
MASTERLIST
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Black Dahlia - 18. I'm Trying (Garrick)
Summary: A certain someone's opinion has started to change, but despite his efforts nothing has changed. And one night someones friendship has him seeing red. A/N: Little bit of a filler chapter, but couldn't resist these three having a moment like this. Probably the first of many. Also next week we might get a certain someone's signet reveal.....
Garrick Tavis x OC (Dahlia Aetos)
Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist
The last few weeks had been driving me crazy. Ever since Threshing I couldn’t get her off my damn mind. She plagued my thoughts constantly, and suddenly I was aware of her anytime I was in the same room as her. Aware of every glare she sent my way. How she would constantly ignore my presence whenever I was around. I’d even tried to be nice to her on a few occasions after Xaden had suggested it and she’d thrown it back in my face, shutting me down instantly. Great idea that was.
Her laughter carries down to me from where I sit with Xaden. A sound I’d only heard come from her recently. Before now I’d only seen her smirk or smile a little bit here and there. But in the last few weeks Bodhi had managed to coax a laugh out of her. The sound even startling Dain who had been nearby when it happened. I’d often caught him starting at his sister as if he didn’t believe what he was seeing. As if he’d never seen her act this way, or as if he was reliving a past memory. Something that had definitely made me curious about the two of them. And also proving further I had probably jumped to my conclusion on her a little too soon.
”Geez, you look like you’re about to murder someone.” Bodhi teases as he slots into the empty space beside Xaden.
I don’t even spare him a glance as I stand and storm off towards the exit. Scraping and rushed foot steps follow me, and I don’t have to turn around to know they’ve both followed me. As the cold air of the fast approaching winter hits I can’t help but relax a little. The coolness relieving some of the pent up anger I’d been bottling up over the last few weeks.
”What the hell is up your ass?” Xaden asks bluntly as he falls into step next to me.
”Nothing. Just had a long day.” I tell him, heading over to the edge of the Rotunda to look out over the edge.
Being it was pretty much winter, the sun had long set behind the mountains, a pink glow on the horizon signalling it would soon be completely dark outside.
“More like a long few weeks.” Bodhi adds as he leans up against pillar next to me. “You know you can talk to us.”
Bodhi didn’t deserve my anger. He did nothing wrong. Hell he had done better than I had. Even Xaden which had surprised me. They both told me I’d come to eat my words. And I had. And here I was getting jealous over Bodhi being friends with her while she wouldn’t give me time of day.
“Do I get to tell you I told you so?” Chradh drawls in my head, a teasing tone to his voice.
“Don’t you start.” I snap back, earning me a chuckle from him.
“Oh I’m just getting started.” He mocks before I slam my shields firmly into place.
With a sigh I push up from the ledge and face my two friends. “Trust me, it’s nothing you two need to worry about.”
Xaden eyes me, and I can tell he knows exactly what’s up as his eyes flick to Bodhi. He was too damn perceptive for his own good.
“It’s about her isn’t it?” He asks, a slight hint of teasing in his voice. Great, just fucking great.
“I told you it was nothing.” I almost snap at him.
“So she’s nothing is she?” A slight smirk pulling at Xadens lips as he eyes me.
“Yes. Always has been and always will be. She’s nothing to me.”
“Right, so that’s why every time you see Bodhi with her you look like you want to murder him?”
“I do not!” I nearly yell at him, causing a few people heading to dinner to look our way as Bodhi and Xaden chuckle at me.
”Oh you do.” Bodhi teases with a smirk as I glare at him. If he wasn’t practically family I would probably punch that smirk off his god damn face.
“No. I. Don’t.” I grumble out as I clench my fists.
“Yes, you have been. Ever since that training session we did where she chose Bodhi over you, you’ve been practically death staring him.” Xaden says, almost looking proud he gets to announce it. I open my mouth to respond but he cuts me off. “And don’t try deny it. Ever since Threshing you’ve been different towards her.”
“I have not. I hate her. She’s nothing to me.” I admit, but the words felt wrong leaving my mouth. A blatant lie. “Name one situation where I’ve been different towards her.” I challenge the two of them, both sharing a look that makes me nervous.
“Where to begin. How about the morning after Threshing where I walked into the hallway to you practically eye fucking her.” Bodhi starting off the list.
Shit, I’d forgotten about that. But I wasn’t eye fucking her. Simply getting under her skin. I didn’t want her that way.
“Or after Threshing where I had to grab you to stop you from going after her father when he grabbed her.” Xaden adds with a grin.
Shit.
“Oh and at training where steam was practically coming out your ears when she pulled Bodhi off the ground and he held onto her hand a little too long for your liking. Do we need to go on?”
Bodhi’s eyes light up. “And I’m pretty sure you’ve teased her less. Barely heard you call her little Aetos since that training session.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I’ve just come to realise she’s not as bad as I thought. And maybe she’s not like her brother or father.” I admit as casually as I can, trying to cut off the conversation.
“So we get to say I told you so?” Xaden teases with a smirk.
I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Hell no. I said she might not be that bad. I don’t even know her and she won’t give me the time of day.”
“Can you blame her? You’ve kinda been an ass towards her.” Bodhi admits, looking nervous how I’ll respond.
I snap my heads towards him as I glare at him. “I’m trying ok! Well tried. She seems pretty adamant I’m nothing to her, so probably no point in trying anymore.” I say with a shrug.
If she wanted to keep this up, I was more than happy to do the same.
Bodhi sighs and shakes his head at me. “Give her time Garrick. She’s clearly had a rough life. Hell she barely tells me anything outside of her day to day life and she considers me a friend, and even that took months.”
“She’s an Aetos, I doubt her life has been that rough.” I say bitterly.
Yes there was something off about her family dynamic, but her life can’t have been that bad. But maybe I was even wrong about that. She was different to her brother. Held her self differently. Acted differently. Besides the few heated conversations I’d seen them have, he was definitely the more approachable of the two. He talked easily with other cadets, made friends easily. But something told me if it wasn’t for Bodhi pushing the limit with her, she would have been on her own. Outside of him and the other two girls I’d seen with them, she didn’t hang out with anyone else. And when she wasn’t with them, the hard mask came back down in full force. Almost as if that was her normal way of acting. As if the way she had started being around Bodhi and the others wasn’t normal for her.
“I can tell you know that’s not true. All you have to do is look at how Dain and Dahlia act around each other to know that’s not true.” Bodhi smiling softly at the end, as if he’s trying to make me feel sorry for her. Which honestly, maybe I did a little.
“Whatever. I tried and she doesn’t want a bar of it. So it doesn’t matter.” I say before stalking off to my dorm to try get some sleep before our supply run. But with the thoughts running through my head, I highly doubted sleep would come to me.
@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94 @the-fandom-ness @fan-of-many-bands @awkardnerd @heeseungthel0ml
#fourth wing#fourth wing fanfic#garrick tavis#the fourth wing#garrick tavis x reader#garrick tavis imagine#garrick tavis x oc#fourth wing imagine#fourth wing x reader#bodhi durran#xaden riorson#dain aetos
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⏳ REX LAPIS & THE MORTAL ⌛️
warnings: pure angst, hanaki disease referenced, zhongli struggling between friendship and love (?), unrequited love, maybe requited if you squint.
Zhongli not knowing how to feel when you confess your love for him. He can't lie, you're quite bold, a mortal daring to express their admiration so valiantly to their god. However, his heart is already taken by another.
Zhongli, or better yet Morax still remises about her. The long lost god of dust, with her soft grey silky locks billowing in the wind, her kind eyes and smile as she greeted him to discuss another of her inventions. Her silhouette atop a mountain in her signature dress and star-imbued sleeves. Zhongli's eyes have a look of gentleness in them you've noticed when she is in his mind. Honestly, you're already grateful enough to be this close to the Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon. You're but a human who managed to capture the hearts of the adepti with your kind nature, happy energy, and curiosity.
But even with all this, you long for more. You wish for the gaze of not just your archon's closest companions but him himself. It is a cruel thing, you're aware, humans and their untamable desires. In the end you ended up confessing, on the basis of not wanting to lie to your god and also why not? It was a horrid mistake.
After a moment of awkward silence, Morax's eyes once soft seemed to have an empty glare. Filled with disgust, anger, disappointment? You wouldn't know, all you registered that day was him telling you to leave and not get wrapped up in fantasies as a human.
That should've been the end of it, is what you thought, and what Zhongli thought. Nonetheless you proved to both yourself and him that it seems humans are quite stubborn. Despite the obvious pain that weighed on your heart from rejection you continued asking for his hand.
Before you had voiced it with the intent of being his equal. Which you soon realized wouldn't suffice. Zhongli wasn't one to sugarcoat his words, "Guizhong, she was the one meant for me. There is no one who can replace her in Liyue and in all of Teyvat. Do not test my patience, you've already stirred up less than pleasant memories little one".
Perhaps you had too much hope, as soon you began degrading yourself to the point you'd offered your hand in marriage not as an equal, but as a worshipper. To this, Zhongli had escorted you to the Guizhong ballista, where he proceeded to explain quite fondly the creator of said machine.
Maybe even Morax himself realized what a heartstabbing punishment this was. Having you listen to him ramble on and on for half an hour about her before ending with the point that this is exactly the key difference between you and Guizhong.
"You have to understand, you are but a mortal, she was a goddess. Your affections would be better directed elsewhere. This is the last I will tolerate this, I bid you a good day".
Zhongli should've been happy, because after that day your presence was nowhere to be found. Well, not exactly, although you had stopped visiting the adepti's and performing your standard rituals for him. The Geo Archon was well aware of all who resided in Liyue and knew you were still there too.
Could it be potentially you had broken into the Geo Archon's heart? No, that was impossible, all he did was feel pity for you obviously. "Why do I keep imagining the impossible..." you repeated to yourself, sitting inside the comfort of your room as you glanced out your window at the lovely scenery outside.
But you knew that even a persons state of mind could change how they perceived the world and right now everything just felt dull. The only memory present in your mind was replaying itself over and over again, it wasn't pleasant.
You're quite certain you'd confessed to Rex Lapis more than 50 times now, pretty much 5 years or more in your life. Yet his last message to you that day was the final straw.
It was so very frustrating, how your feelings towards him just wouldn't go away. You had attempted to build other romantic relationships to no avail. It was suffocating that your emotions just wouldn't disappear, they just couldn't be buried.
Oh but they can, you thought to yourself suddenly, and afterwards your last thought was to find true love in your next lifetime. As on a cool and calm night, you had laid yourself to rest.
The next day, no particular day really. Randomly out of the blue, Zhongli had heard of you once again after you distanced yourself from him.
It confused him, his adepti didn't dwell on his love life much. It was no secret they knew you harbored affections for him. However, that wasn't the reason why he found them all gathered here today.
As he approached them, his fellow adepti had parted a path so he could see for himself the cause of commotion. There, laying on a soft cushion was you.
Lifeless. Dry. Your eyes were softly shut, your face devoid of any emotion with the exception of a small titled smile on your face. But even that Zhongli could tell may have perhaps been his adepti's doing as part of their little ceremony for you. It became quite obvious then that you had decided to end your life due to the pain. Or, maybe the pain had ended you because no one could ignore the obvious flower that now sprouted from your chest. Bright and lovely, standing proud with petals that glowed amber like Cor Lapis.
#genshin impact#zhongli#zhongli x reader#genshin morax#morax x reader#rex lapis#genshin zhongli#zhongli x reader angst#genshin impact x reader#rex lapis x reader#geo archon x reader#geo archon
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Hope you don't mind me asking again of your bard and her dragonborn? 😅
It’s getting hard to refuse a chance to rant about them, especially now as we have finished the campaign🌝
I keep thinking about this one scene after Clio got back from an adventure that almost became the party’s last one. They got to meet the gods of their realm or those who claimed to be ones. One of them turned out to be her sister’s patron, the other unwillingly caused vivid nightmares that were haunting Clio for more than five years reminding her about the assault she and her sister barely survived. Our oathbreaker paladin also had a time of his life meeting the god he used to serve. The party almost died there trying to prevent the destruction of their civilisation and death of everyone they love along with it. Her sister did die in a way there.
After killing some gods and saving the world, learning and surviving things she couldn’t even begin to comprehend, Clio got back home to the Iron City. She stormed to an ongoing council meeting in an iconic Aragorn at Helm’s Deep fashion, telling the story about what they’ve been through, explaining the recent global calamity and how they’ve managed to stop it. The utter awe on faces of other members of the council, including Hescan’s, brought bard the satisfaction she was seeking. Clio couldn’t quite grasp it but something was different about the way her chief looked at her. Last time she saw him he told her he was falling deep for her… or it was just a fever she had then, she couldn’t tell, she wasn’t sure. The man she was talking to through the communication ring during the adventure seemed to be the same unbothered and cold Dragonborn she knows for a few years now. Something shifted and for the first time she felt her hands sweating in his presence.
…
“I could’ve actually lost you this time,” he said in a quieter voice when they were finally alone and she noticed the slight shiver in chief’s voice. Clio’s heart clenched in her chest, he meant it. He worried about her.
That evening and the night that came after he was gentle, caring. That was new. Of course, he always made sure not to hurt her, unless she wanted to, but he never really expressed his affection like that. Not that it was unpleasant, it surprised and puzzled her.
…
“I was thinking…” he stumbled during a pillow talk a few hours later, “you know…maybe we should start spending more time together?”. She could’ve sworn she saw a blush coming through those emerald scales of his.
“I need to talk to you,” she sighed feeling tense and set up on the edge of the bed.
Hescan stood up, got around the bed, poured and passed a goblet of wine to the girl also taking one for himself.
“You know,” she started, “I believed my twin was dead there for some time. We had a huge fight right before that. All I could think about were things I should’ve told her or done and would never get a chance to.”
Hescan set quietly on his knees on the floor across from his little spy and was looking up at Clio as she proceeded, “And then I thought, what if we fail the whole “world saving” thing and I will never get to see you again. There’re things I regret I haven’t told you.” she stopped, trying to regain composure, “I have met someone,” she said avoiding looking at him at first, “He’s wonderful. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe and peaceful with anyone before.”
She could see the tension, anger and confusion building in his face.
“I feel seen. He looked into me and managed to bring back the girl even I believed was long gone, hiding under the myriad of different masks. He listens and he hears every word I say,” she smiles feeling already embarrassed of what she’s going to say next, “And despite all the common sense, I… I trust him.”
“What…” Hescan utters quietly, breaking the silence that filled the room. The look of anger, pain and the sticky feeling of betrayal washing over him.
“I trust him,” she repeats, “and I trust him my heart. I trust he will take good care of it.” Clio reaches with her hand and gently touches Dragonborn’s chest over his heart as she asks softly, “You will take care of it for me, wouldn’t you?”
The girl was waiting for a moment, watching as the anger on Hescan’s face changed to confusion and then the sparkle in his eyes as he glanced back at her when realisation finally hit him.
“I’m going to kill you!” he growled as he pounced at her, pushing her back on the soft bed. The girl giggled in his strong embrace, feeling the pressure of his body over hers.
“I need to hear it, my heart” she pleaded, pushing him away just enough to look him in the eyes.
He smiled softly and whispered, “I love you.” as he gently bit the arch of her neck, “you’re safe,” he followed with a kiss.
#dragonborn#changeling#dnd campaign#dnd charcter art#dnd bard#digital illustration#fantasy art#dnd oc art#oc artwork#original characters#bard#dnd dragonborn#dnd changeling#monster romance#monster boyfriend#monster lover#bard x dragonborn
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Watched arcane season 2 act 1, thought abt it, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order. Obvious spoilers.
Also, i watched in dub. Important to know when i am quoting charaters + when i am talking about their tone.
Starting of with something that is directly affected by dub — ukrainian Jayce is my Jayce. Ppl said he sounded condesending while talking to Ekko — not. at. alllll. true for my Jayce. My Jayce sounded tired, emotionaly burn out. "You drink tea, Ekko?" said with no though to it, in a context of continues talking of "Haha do i live here? Hahah....... Do you guys want tea? Want some tea? I'll make tea. Do you drink tea, Ekko?". But d-dub is supposed to stay true to the original— I DONT CAREEE. I love my blorbo almost-himbo Jayce, never changing his characterisation in my mind.
And i will hold Jayce's hand when i say this — you were. Just so gay for like... Essentialy going "Are you okay? Good, good" to lady Mel Medarda HERSELF and then seeing Victor and losing your mind. Sprinting with him in your hands to your lab. LIVING in your lab to monitor him. I just... I get it, you don't have many friends. But like...... Really dude. Reaally.
Give Mel and Ekko thirty minutes. I promise you they would work it out. Eternal piece would be achieved.
I know there are a lot of different opinions regarding Caitlyn. I will not be explaining in-depts what i think about her acr, because a) who cares and b) i like to see her go cray-cray. But like — why isnt anybody exept for Vi attempting to stop her??? Like why is Jayce mourning Victor's twink death instead of, yk, stopping his childhood-best-friend-kinda-younger-sister from killing ppl of Zaun, the last thing Victor wants btw? She and Vi are twenty-ish — WHYYYY are they going through it by themselves??? Why doesnt baby yoda guy with German name that i dont dare to write trying to stop the daughtrer of his ex-collegue? He is 600 or something, im sure he could've come up with advice.
Cait pointing her gun at a child is terrifying, it opens up the possibilities of her going even more blinded with anger, doing even more horrific things, and Vi is right to try and stop her. However... I know damn right i would've believe her when she said she will not miss 😭 Every single time she fired her gun she was very precise. Even in that scene she aimed at the gun the girl was holding like two seconds ago and got a perfect. fucking. score. Like i dont remember her missing at all, actually.
"Ohhhhh you're gonnnaaa haaaaaattteeee Maddie after act two—" says who? On that note, i hope both Cait AND Vi will sleep with a few random people. Good for them. Let them try to forget about each other only to realise just how down bad they are for one another. Let the scenes of Cait and Maddie hooking up intertwine with Vi's one night stand.
"Maddie is just gonna be a victim of comander Cait :(((" and i do not have any thing to say to that — we dont yet KNOW what will happen — but I dont think Cait will try to manipulate her into this. I think Maddie will flirt a bit, Cait will try and seek salvage and vulnerability in someone, especially since she is now constantly in public's eye and needs to project hope™ and stoicism™. It will be a genuine attempt to move on — not anybody's fault she can't.
But oh god, oh goooddd i cant wait for Maddie to loose the spark in her eyes due to lesbian situationship.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#jayce talis#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#Ekko#mel medarda#ambessa medarda#vi arcane#maddie nolen
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I unlocked all the memories in the Lighthouse and I'm vibrating with excitement rn! so many things me and my brothers discussed over the years have turned out to be true, or almost correct. We thought the Evanuris were also the Old Gods of Tevinter, which was close since the Old Gods were actually the Evanuris' bound dragons. We also thought Solas/other ancient elves were spirits (the way I shrieked when that was confirmed lmao). Now looking back at Inquisition it gives a whole new layer to the Cole situation... Cole chose to manifest in a physical body and he could become more physical, more human, but Solas didn't want him to and greatly disapproves if you do that, not just because it 'goes against his nature' as he said, but because it reminded Solas of when he chose to become physical and his regrets surrounding that. Damn. I wonder if it's possible for Solas to somehow reverse what he did and become fully spirit again, and if he would choose that if he could? What about Ghilana/Solavellan, would she change his mind on that? Anyway I digress. You know what really has me shook about all this... I was literally 100% certain, not a doubt in my mind, that Ghilan'nain created the Blight. I never for one second suspected it was Solas!? Like. Holy shit, he really, really fucked up on a whole other level with that one. He separated the dwarves from the titans / took away their ability to dream, and not only that, but he knew the damage it would cause and what he was doing was awful, but he did it anyway. All because he loved Mythal so much he would've followed her anywhere, even into doom. It's so tragic and romantic and terrible all at the same time, so very Solas, and I love it. I have to wonder though... how does he feel about what he did to the dwarves now? Obviously he regrets what he did, that's clear, but why didn't he give their dreams back at some point between then and now? All it took was Harding touching the lyrium dagger to get reconnected to the titan, so surely Solas could've done that? So why didn't he? I know he was preoccupied with other stuff but that's a pretty damn big deal. Maybe he didn't realise a simple touch of the lyrium dagger was all it would take to reconnect them? Or maybe - and I think this is more likely - the titan is too dangerous right now because of its anger at what was done to it (understandable) and he thought reconnecting them before he healed/calmed the titan (if that's possible?) would be a bad idea for the dwarves? My brother thinks he just didn't care but I think that's ridiculous and doesn't seem like Solas at all.
I mean Solas could burn down the entire world and I'd still love him, so whatever the case I'm his ride or die, but I do want to give him a bit of a clip around the ears and make him look the dwarves in the eye and apologise to every single one of them and FIX what he did to them. I'm also wondering if this whole thing with Rook IS part of his plan to fix what he did? He was known as the trickster god and he was known for getting out of traps, so you never know
#datv spoilers#datv#dragon age#solas#shar.txt#i had to get this ramble off my chest feel free to comment or add whatever i wanna talk abt this game so bad#but also remember i haven't finished yet i've only just done the weisshaupt mission so no spoilers beyond that point please
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1.14 nightmare // cn discussion of domestic violence and suicide
what an aptly named episode. this is one of the most upsetting episodes of the whole show for me. while it touches on themes that i love - what if the monster was family - the way it handles ms miller is deeply uncomfortable. and max's story is just downright awful.
i do find it interesting that this is the second time this season where dean is arguing that they have to stop someone even if they happen to be human. while sam is vehemently insisting that them being "human" means they have to take another approach.
the first is in faith:
DEAN: Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book. SAM: No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is.
and then again here:
SAM: Dean. He's a person. We can talk to him.
i've said and i'll say again that dean understands that monstrosity is the result of actions and choices not something intrinsic. i think sam sees monstrosity and humanity as more of an intrinsic dichotomy and that's one reason he struggles so much in season 2. anyway.
but really what i want to talk about is ms miller. and how clear it is that she is also a victim of domestic violence. i understand, deeply, why max is so angry with her and why he sees her as an extension and enabler of his abusers. but i simply cannot fathom a world where max is experiencing the torrential abuse he's suffering where those people are not also harming ms miller deeply.
max accuses her, "You didn't do anything. You didn't stop them, not once!" their old neighbor says, "the worst part was the stepmother. She'd just stand there, checked out, not lifting a finger to protect him." the neighbor's claim always strikes me as a remarkably cruel reading of someone who is clearly also suffering and likely dissociating. like idk man of course i think adults have responsibility in situations like this (and i do appreciate the nod to the cops being useless) but like... "the worst part" THE WORST PART was the stepmother. i kinda feel like the worst part was the abuse, no?
but the upshot of it all is that ms miller's implied abuse seems like it has no witnesses. and that's of interest to me because of some interactions we've already dealt with in season 1.
in 1.03, we get this exchange:
DEAN: ... all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul. It's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man. SAM: How do you do it? How does Dad do it?
then this in 1.08:
SAM: Remind you of somebody? Dad? DEAN: Dad never treated us like that. SAM: Well, Dad never treated you like that. You were perfect. He was all over my case. You don't remember?
and at the end of 1.14, sam says:
SAM: Well I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad. DEAN: Well I never thought I'd hear you say that. SAM: Well, it coulda gone a whole other way after Mom. I little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we woulda had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out ok. Thanks to him.
listen, i would never argue that john winchester didn't abuse sam. but i think it's interesting that though sam is critical of john's parenting and though he has complaints about how john treated him, he doesn't seem to think john treated dean poorly.
which, we just simply know he did. we know it because john does it in 1.09, 1.12, 1.20, 1.21. and because we're told he did in 1.18, 1.22, 2.01, 4.19, 9.07, 14.11, 14.12, 15.20, i mean i could go on.
and not that i have to filter everything through season 14 episode 12 prophet and loss. but i will. because it very clearly lays out how 1. dean was forced into the role of keeping the peace and 2. john would treat dean badly in ways dean wasn't sure sam was witnessing.
DEAN: I know things got dicey… you know, with dad… the way he was. And I just… I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was… when I was away, you know it wasn’t ‘cause I just ran out, right? Dad would… he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that.
the uncertainty behind, "i think you knew that." ough.
but bad boys goes even farther here:
SAM: Hey, Dean ... I mean, why didn't you just tell me you went to a boys' home? DEAN: I don't know. Uh, it was Dad's idea. And then it just – you know, the story became the story. I was 16.
john told dean to lie to sam about what was happening to him.
so what does this all mean in an episode where dean is somewhat mirrored to and protective of the allegedly bystanding stepmother?
that abuse is shitty, cruel, secretive, and protects itself by pitting its victims against each other.
i don't know i wish i had something a bit clearer to say than all this. but it's just sad.
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OHHHH THATS SO FASCINATING... i really love the additions of the lions thoughts... i dont often see people showing how the demon is somewhat human and i honestly overlooked that as well! it makes things way more interesting, actually, to recognize that the demon has a will and desires (which is how he got created, sustained, and defeated in the first place). its kinda embarrassing for me cause i totally forgot about that even though its presented often in the manga - but anyways you win some you lose some and such jadkfdkfjd
"desire to be respected" "this seemed fine in the moment, but i mightve misjudged." i feel like the lions thought process here was oh! youre ashamed of yourself and feel like a disgrace? -> we can remove that shame! -> dignity gets in the way of fully letting loose! -> desire for respect removed. but as he says, its not as straight forward as that obviously.
"desire to stay angry" "seemed unhealthy" GOD. man! for one, it really shows the lions misunderstanding of humans despite being designed to interact with them. it doesnt grasp the thought that some negative emotions are required to sustain oneself. and also puts into perspective how scary it is to have your wants to be analyzed as good or bad by an outside force. as viewers we are aware of the discrimination that half-foots face and we know (at least partially) why hes so pent up and easy to set off all the time. it may not be a very healthy coping mechanism, but its still somewhat working. chilchucks determination and anger are what drives him to set firm boundaries and defend himself. and to have the lion casually brush all of that off as purely unhealthy is fucking WILD
also "something he said struck with me. i felt gross overeating." GRAH i love you winged lion. youre so interesting. i feel like it was probably the "youre not listening" line... once chilchuck points out how he doesnt have a say in which wishes that get granted it would make sense for the lion to reconsider : "does not everyone really want everything that they want?"
the lion sorta works like a computer program in that way i suppose. you need to be extremely specific with what you want otherwise itll just go for the simplest option : which is usually completely different from what you really asked for
ANYWAYS. enough lion talk PTOOEY i love him but anyways,
oguhgohugh izutsumi. ok so i personally see izutsumi as some form of autistic and seeing such a sudden change in one of her loved ones has got to be SO uncomfortable. like itd be uncomfortable for anyone but her especially, to the point where its irritating (in the way an itch is irritating)
"i wish i could get you the person you want" "...but i dont want a different guy. i just want you back" OW. GOD. OUCH... i dont wanna sound way too personal but i really resonate with both of them here... its scary to not recognize someone you love and its just as, arguably even more, scary to not recognize yourself. izutsumi knows (read: hopes, prays, wishes) its just that simple. in an ideal world it would be as easy as "hey! knock it off! this isnt funny!" "awh, alright, sorry about that - im back!" but it really doesnt work that way. sorta like the denial of the death of a loved one, except theyre still there. just not in the way you feel they should be.
oh yeah addendum to my tags in that poll, it makes more sense if i put it this way : he'd run that shit like the navy at FIRST, and be super wound up about keeping everything in check, but as his sanity starts slipping his plans do as well. you know when a deadline gets closer and closer and you start frantically using whatever the first thing you think of is, and then in hindsight youre like "why did i make that decision??" thats what i feel like it is. like... panic/anxiety clouds the mind and makes you do stupid things. same thing with overconfidence. euphoria. lust. desperation. et cetera. decisions made in a short time limit/relying on instinct and feeling are often not the best
#izutsumis expression change is so heart breaking man... AGHHH....#also um thank you i was really worried that i wasnt making any sense HAHAHA#DONT EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT MAN. BE CRINGE AND FREE <- hypocrite. literally panicked so hard about replying and being respectful and cool#love hearing your thoughts! and again this concept has been boiling in my mind as well#honestly no shame in it. we marinate in suffering together HAHAHA#ALSO back to izutsumi ive talked about this with my friend before but like. izutsumi noticing hes not as warm as he usually is. that is all
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i was so set on replaying veilguard for the davrinmance but oh my god im SO attached to my agent-of-fenharel hardingmancer rn i actually think the choice is out of my hands lol
#oc: evander#datv#tay plays datv#datv spoilers#deia's brother btw !!!! very much giving anders vibes if anders was kind of deadbeat oldest son who frequents the club#him having sold out the inquisition on solas's instruction and then falling for one of the scouts who was hurt the most by it#very much a mirror to solavellan except theyre literally just people and ultimately victims of their leader's organizations overarching war#and harding being sympathetic to solas enough to reach evanders conscience even during Peak radicalization#but holding solas accountable enough to potentially sway evanders mind#and then evander learning the truth about solas but also specifically what that means for harding the person hes grown to love#having to reconcile that his own rebel-fantasy is not more important than the very real pain his loved ones have gone thru as a result#and like figuring out what going forward looks like. is he STILL sympathetic but its tempered? or does he go full anti-solas in an act of#redemption which would also probably involve him telling harding to embrace her anger and not her loving side?? which is kind of the invers#of his own arc.#GOD.#AND THEN ITS LIKE. DO I KILL OFF HARDING AT THE END???? THAT WOULD BE SOOOOO CRAZY FOR THE *STORY*#i think she has to live actually bc i hate the fridged wife trope and solas Is ultimately redeemed in this worldstate#and if harding died bc of solas (and evanders varricmancer sister also lost varric) evander WOULD be team kill immediately no exceptions#but still food for thought#god. chat i am fucking COOKING today this is crazy#hes not technically my rook bc he works way better in the story as a ~companion~ to deia (his sister) the actual protag#but both he and matthas (the other pro-inquisition brother) could arguably have been the Rook as well.#all 3 of the mercar siblings were AT the ritual but for different reasons (evander to aid solas. matthas to kill solas. deia to stop him)#so MAYBE I WILL romance harding instead this time...... how are we feeling abt hardings romance babes is it good. do we recommend
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"this wulf fellow has choice language"
#artluli#tf2#i dont really like how this turned out its really bad#added shading to try and make it better but it looks worse but i guess ill post it anyway i suppose#if youre wondering why im sweating its because im terrified of playing online multiplayer games#that might sound weirdly specific but dude it gives me so so so much anxiety#ive been wanting to play more but i cant bring myself to do it because im too scared#“scared of what skaluli” the people and how well i perform#i would rather play a horror game because that shit doesnt scare me as much as fearing judgement of the people i play with because im shit#i know i shouldnt care what other people think and should just try and have fun but god this shit is scary#before anyone says anything i turned off voice chat straight away when i downloaded it thank god thats an option#but even without hearing their voices i feel like i can still hear their thoughts and judgement and anger#it took hours of trying to convince myself and then someone else telling me ill be okay just to play the game for a little bit#and when i got to leave i felt like i was having a fucking anxiety attack#anyway i really like this game but im way too scared to play it! which is fucking stupid that thats even a reason
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The rescent riots in the UK are despicable (but sadly not surprising).
Yes, what happened to those little girls is a tradgey, but the person who was responsible wasn't an asylum seeker, and even if he was, that would NOT excuse the racism displayed these past few weeks.
The people taking part clearly don't care about the safety of children as they're, scaring other people's & indoctrinationating their own into perpetuating racist acts.
Seven years is a lot, though! Then don't fucking join a hate group.
But the non white people are being violent too! Yeah, well, that tends to happen when you attack people. I'm not going to hate on people for standing up for themselves.
They're taking our jobs! Why do you believe that those jobs are YOURS? Are you actually qualified & able to make a good impression on bosses, or do you think just being white should be enough.
They don't work! Well Asylum seekers litrually aren't allowed to until their case gose through but plenty of other POC have jobs (I know you've seen them though it must be hard to make them out through that fog of hatred) & I've met plenty of white people who don't want to (no hate to those who can't because of disability or mental health issues) or loose jobs because they're just overall terrible employees (some of the shit I've seen middle aged white people do at their jobs is crazy).
They're all criminals! Well, that's just not true now is it plus it's been proven multiple times that the biggest factor in crime is poverty, NOT race & again I've encountered plenty of white people who've broken the law yet most didn't seem to get more than a slap on the wrist (if that). Strange, that isn't it?
Well, "those kinds" of men hate women! Ahh, yes, because there's never been white rapists, woman killers, stalkers or harrasers. Its been proven that hating women is a problem in all races & and sadly, the biggest threat to us is usually our own partners or family, not some random aylsum seeker (who if they do hurt women tend to go after the ones from their own community).
They're not from here! Ok, so I don't know if anyone told you, but you can actually be born here without being white and you can't ban people from a country just because of the colour of their skin. Also, neither was half my family, yet we never get told to go back to our own country. Hmm, I wonder if our white skin could possibly have anything to do with that.
They can't speak English! A lot of them are multilingual, actually (& you make fun of their accents) & for the ones who can't well you seem to hate them getting anything (such as English lessons) for free. Also, how many Brits go abroad despite refusing to learn absolutely anything about other countries (there's a reason we're known as disrespectful, violent, sex obsessed, drunks by most of the world).
Also sooner or later we are going to have to accept that a lot of the issues that make immigrants flee their home countries are caused (or at least made worse) by ours & other Western governments.
This country definitely has problems, but we should be taking them up with politicians & their rich mates. Who are the ones actually hording wealth made from the exploitation of the poor, not random people of colour who are just trying to live their lives.
#uk#uk race riots#uk racism#uk riots#riots#racisim#I wanted to post about this straight away but my job has been taking a lot out of me#my phyical & mental health has not been great#rescently (due to unrelated personal stuff) & I wanted to make sure I worded my thoughts as fully & appropriately as possible.#so even though it's later than it should have been (which I apologize for) I thought I should still comment on the situation#Especially as a white person who was born outside the uk but has lived here bassically my whole life#Lastly I wanted to let my followers know where I stand#i know i reblogged something about whats been happening a while back but it felt wrong not to give my actual thoughts on the matter#my heart gose out to any poc struggling right now#i wish i could say this isn't my country but there's always been a racist underbelly to the UK#& unfortunately it seems to be bubbling up more & more these past few years#i think social media is partly to blame (thanks to vice in misinformation & conspiracy theories)#obviously covid plays a part as well (people have lost so much & need somewhere to put their anger)#but the biggest cause (other than personal choise of course as I don't ever wanna erase the accountability of biggits) is our government#cost of living crisis mixed with low wages & little effective financial help#of course jobs are gonna be scarce#add on top of that our failing infurtructer#& no wonder the uk is a mess#but again people need something more tangebible to blame#& the torries (+ all right wing media) have wasted no time in turning migrants into the ultimate scapegoats#& unfortunately people keep falling for it#even my dad has started in on the “woke mob” stuff & its like i still love you & i know you’ve had a hard life but#god is it upsetting to hear#like he was never very PC but he was pretty radical#now he's becoming more & more like his dad (who was apparently a fascist) & i know younger him would hate that
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oh god okay i understand that maybe not everyone is as indecisive/comfortable with saying "it depends!" as me, but like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i just can't take people who call izzy a villain seriously
#he's a little annoying dude. i swear to fuck#'the real villain in the show is the system and izzy is siding with the system' babygirl he's a pirate 😭 he really isn't 😭#he could NOT more clearly be -- he literally IS -- that kind of gay man who wears his leathers and anger as an armor because being scary ha#been his way of fighting The System => being consumed and destroyed by it; and who looks down and feels disgusted by flamboyant#and effeminate soft-handed gays because if they're this soft then they clearly haven't experienced this kind of abuse that would make them#harden up. ....you know what i mean.#like idk this show in general like... doesn't have a 'villain'? it's about stede (and ed's) journey and their development. not necessarily#about their Conflict With Someone/Something. i guess it might change in s2 but idk. there are just Situations in which they find themselves#and because of/md is a comedy no one really... holds things against other characters in a long-term way? izzy stabs stede and sells him#out to the english and ed punches him for the latter (which he says 'ok fair' about!!! like!!!) but does he go 'and for all the shit you've#done i'm Firing you as my first mate? no! he slams him against the wall and feeds him his toe but he's like. ok get up and back to work#and he doesn't seem particularly disgusted or upset with him in that final blackbeard's flag 2.0 moment. (nor manipulated; inb4)#like. it's a workplace romcom. the workplace is a pirate ship but it's a workplace and izzy is that annoying coworker who's a bitch and#often ruins everyone's fun but no one like... Seriously ostracizes him. more like applies some light bullying BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY.#COMEDY. do we remember that?#and like. it seems he's going to have a bit of a larger (?) role in s2... it really doesn't seem like the show sees him as a 'villain' or#even an active 'antagonist' either. like ok let's agree 2 disagree and may both sides block each others' asses into oblivion because god#knows both sides have some annoying people but mannnn sometimes... insisting that things Can be divided into Good and Bad... is worse?#shrimp thoughts#once again i wrote a tag novel about an incredibly silly thing. welcome to leatherbookmark
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