#but they rely on each other to exist
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The watchers are always watching…
#this is an idea I’ve had for a while#where watcher!grian and grian are two separate entities#but they rely on each other to exist#a small concept but one I have been thinking about for ages#I might go into depth about it in later posts :D#golden’s art#grian#grian fanart#grianmc#grian minecraft#hermitcraft#hermitcraft grian#watcher grian#watcher grian fanart#hc grian#hermitcraft fanart#hermitcraft au#kinda-#evo watchers#mcyt watchers#hermitcraft watchers#tw eyes
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I feel like SV girlies haven't seriously considered "codependent mutually obsessive JuliNemo" yet and that's a shame, really. I've seen a lot of wholesome ChampionRank (really cute but a rehash of every wholesome yuri I've ever seen, not much original content here and that's okay) and one-sided obsessive yandere!Nemona ChampionRank (REALLY do not like the villainization of Nemona's neurodivergence but eh, you can do whatever you want forever) but not as much "these two get on like a house on fire. and boy, it's dry season" ChampionRank.
Where is "battle-hungry socially starved trainwrecks who have no one but each other" JuliNemo. Where is "oh god these two exacerbate each others issues into the stratosphere and this can only end in disaster but I can't look away" JuliNemo. Where is "bringing out the worst in each other and scaring the hoes" JuliNemo. Where is "you two are perfect for each other. Never change, just never involve anyone else in any of this" JuliNemo. There's so much potential here. Toxic codependent yuri save me
#pokémon#pokemon sv#championrankshipping#julinemo#babbles#my juliana is such a mess#she does not make friends easily and can't keep relationships for long at all#whenever someone enters her life she aants to make the best impression so she lovebombs them incessantly#and that either comes across as too much too fast or causes people to get too attached.#but she's young. she is very young. and the people who bothered to match her energy had ulterior motives#so now she's too afraid of getting too close to someone#she'll act the part but never show her true self#and at the slightest hint of genuine connection she'll RUN.#this of course clashes horribly with Nemona's own overbearing personality and loneliness#you know how she wants you to be her ideal rival. and you end up becoming exactly that.#yeah to my Juliana this was kind of a nightmare because. as much as this toed her boundaries#she isn't so inept as to not recognize a bit of herself in Nemona. so she decided to ride this out and appease her#and UH OH! she got attached. fear and need for control and validation from feeling wanted mixed in her head#and she started matching Nemona's energy and the two jumped into dating too fast and oops. they're codependent now#they literally can't handle being away from each other for more than two days or they start going feral#i wish i had the energy to write this one because i'm fascinated by this horrible dynamic. i want to study them in a rat maze#edit: i feel like i should clarify that this interpretation relies on Florian existing and being the one to help Penny and Arven#Florian isn't without his issues. he's a huge people pleaser too. but he's more of a doormat who can't say no
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my hag romance murder mystery au turning to magistrate astarion working with executor shri’iia we kind of like that development
#why I never considered their past jobs kinda worked well together LOL#like she technically was her matriarch’s executor with the way she hunted people down and all#and he’d be sending rando and poor people to death for their crimes bc god knows if he was fair and had honor#in this au he does not bc he’s indebted to cazador (he’s not a vamp tho that’ll b too easy for a murder mystery)#like hag romance working together to solve the murders themselves then when they’re done they give the findings to whoever is formally in#charge of solving it then disappearing 👍 I also want a scenario where they’re both using each other for their own means as in#shri’iia needs him to take her back down the underdark bc she dk where to go but then she learns that she wasn’t supposed to survive this#mission anyway so she’s like 🧍♀️ well I’ll figure that out later#astarion wanted to either frame her or use her against cazador so he can be free and run away#mid way he changes her plans bc Uh Oh there’s Feelings Involved#either mid way or later down the line I haven’t decided yet. but whatever they do in the end kind of ‘frees’ them from both their conflicts#they end up running away together 👍 live ur best life queens#I’m also hmm stuck on what exactly astarion is indebted for like it has to be something drastic and he’d be desperate to rely on cazador#(though I’m thinking that cazador set up the whole scheme and he just got played - which parallels shri’iia getting bamboozled too)#when ur charlatans who have 8 int 🧍♀️#but basically astarion when he sentences someone instead of sending them to the gallows he sends them to cazador to be ‘reformed’ but then#they end up disappearing from the plane of existence. so he’s like trafficking people 🧍♀️ but then I’m like idk what would’ve happened for#him to do something so drastic and actually go through with doing It and multiple times Too hmm#we’re still brainstorming …
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thinking 'bout how the lads interact with what the bracelets represent, especially in their decks
#marwospeaking#Yuuya is by far hardest to work with on this because he Varies. but that might just be him being opposite to Yuzu so it might count?#anyway Yuuya is a bushfire made by fireworks set off without proper precaution (the improperly set off fireworks being Zarc..#.. being influenced into the position that made the lads through his desire to both destroy and entertain his crowds)#It's small sometimes. but in the right conditions is an unstoppable conflagration#Yuuto literally does not die. In a world where we never truly get the other two (Yuugo and Yuuri) interacting with their host (Yuuya)..#.. outside of duels. he very much does. He is undead in a way the others don't quite match (pre Zarc revival) and it's opposite to..#.. En Bird's life (assuming it counts death too as part of its cycle)#Yuugo uses machine monsters - things that distinctly don't breathe. and in most cases have exhaust pipes billowing fumes#and machines can be warm to the touch at times. which you could feasibly slide against Rin's Windwitches for being Very Cold Ladies#Also he's trapped no matter where he is. Neo Domino has a stronger grip on him as a person than anyone else. and when he might finally..#.. escape that. he's trapped in someone else's body with no canonical recourse. because the story ended on Yuuya's terms and no one elses#Yuuri is hardest to place but I think he's very stationary. Sere's monsters are dancers - constantly moving - and she's very able to#adapt as she goes despite how stupid she can be book-wise. Yuuri is rooted into his role. even when he discards his loyalty his role was..#.. always in Zarc's interest no matter if he knew or not. The Professor's loyalty from him is an add-on to that#... I'd argue Zarc cared more about his pieces than Ray cared about hers also? He made cards for them on the fly so they'd Win#Even in moments where that victory is not in a wholly positive light - Odd-Eyes Raging and Gatlinghoul - but we know he's capable of it..#.. a la allowing Yuuya to debut pendulum monsters on his behalf in order to win against Ishijima#something something this can then apply to the other lads. they never lose except to each other and Ray's girls (at least on screen)#Yuuto survived 3 years of war. even despite Yuugo and Yuuri showing up. so methinks Zarc must've had a role in helping him survive#Like. Zarc's distinctly present for his Lads. Ray's not present for her lasses until one of them speaks through her#Sure it's very possible that's a bracelet thing - they are floodgates at the end of the day - and not a Ray thing. but it also wouldn't..#.. surprise me given Ray is an Akaba. we know they will sacrifice others for a gain later on - Ray's was sacrificing a whole world to make.#.. a safer one for everyone to live in. irrelevant on if they remember it or if they never existed originally. Except Leo Akaba. He does#(with memory reading tech) and it tortures him the whole time. she didn't mean to hurt him but Still#Zarc's distinctly not better than Ray - he's still broken wide open when it comes to his hatred of humanity (but not his human half)#and it resulted in multiple near-deaths the second time around - but I can't say Ray's that much better if it turns out the bracelets..#.. weren't floodgating her ability to help her lasses#Completely unrelated but. I don't like what Arcray represents ngl. makes it seem like Zarc could never move on with the help of his lads#and has to rely on someone who killed him and sent him to purgatory about it in order to heal.
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When I was making my first trying-to-be-serious ocs it was in the start of the 2010s (and I mean the START, 2010-2012) and there was a big “anti Mary-sue” movement on deviantart (the website I spent half my internet time on and was posting my art on) and I liked to make my character designs pretty extra (although compared to modern stuff they look pretty normal) so I started to get self-conscious. At the time though I was watching soul eater (and there was another thing I’m forgetting and it’s really frustrating me) and I saw that it was popular with a cool art style and the characters were extra AF, so I was like “okay. Maybe, as long as I can draw my character often and consistently it doesn’t matter if they are wild!” and you know what? Early teen me was RIGHT. Not about many things, but about this in particular she was!
#emma posts#girl was relying too heavily on character tropes and some stuff of that era#but she was so right about character design#if maybe using a few too many colors for each one#now people are just being wild with it and it fucking works#two examples I can think of in modern popular animation are mha/bnha and hazbin hotel (still haven’t watched that one)#but damn if those characters don’t look like some of my favorite early teen creations#and the artist made it WORK#i don’t think I’ve gone quite as wild as bnha but you know what? one of my old worlds still could#I’m sentimental about that one and even if I’ve been stuck I’m still taking that one with me forever#other projects might come and go. but (project currently named absolution) is constant#as well as its main cast. I’ve been learning a bit more about some of the mythologies I used as inspiration and it’s been giving a lot of#ideas for how I can develop things. it has not solved a few hang ups though#the biggest one being what was the divide about and how was it defined?’#it’s been made more gray as I learn more about mythology and folklore#the Christian aspects of it can be a bit clear. but others have more gray areas and i like it but it also makes things a bit frustrating#interestingly enough. flight rising having so many different species on one world has given me some ideas#I am a bit reluctant to use too much from outside certain cultures though. which can appear a bit biased and probably is. but I don’t want#to mess up something you can’t really change about a creature from a culture in less familiar with. it would be a dick move#but yeah. if death the kid can exist my weirdos can as well
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truly i dont care about naruto at all the world buikding is kind of fucked and the story telling js too long winded to keep me interested. but dear god. dear god. the entire relationsjip between sasuke and narurto drives me fucjing insane
#like even outside of a romantic context <-which is hard to remove but wharber#we're destined rivals meant to be completelh parallels of each other we're the sun and moon i want you dead but i cant live without yoh#youre the light in my darkness i dont care about anyone but you mh entire existance relies on yours im not calm unless houre near me#i hate you so much but i cant live without hou youre my best friend youre mh worst enemy you do nothing but try and hurt me i canr give up#on you you didnt give up on me our lives are never meant to fo anything mkre than orbit around each other i hate your guts but i love you#i love you i love uoh i love hoh i lobe hoh#IM GONNA BE SICKKKKKK
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[ID: digital, colored painting of Cibo and Sanakan from BLAME! The background is black except for white repeated text, which reads “SHARE THE BLAME!” with BLAME! filled in and the rest of the phrase just outlined in white. Cibo is looking toward the viewer and Sanakan is looking to the bottom left. The two are close together and their faces are blending into each other.]
hehe the ladies
#blame!#sanakan#cibo#jkb.art#pov you're my roommates and you just keep hearing me say babygirl you don't look so good#body horror tw#jic#oh yeah lore for the 'share the blame!' since i explained 'who's to blame!' for the killy drawing:#i made it up cause i didn't want them to feel left out :(#but more comprehensive answer is that they have a kid together. honestly 'shoulder' the blame might've been better#since they do rely and help each other in the end. they also have their sapphism baby#blame in this set of series of descriptions is a more neutral thing. cause here they are to 'blame' for netkid's existence and just in#general for a lot happening in the series. tho the changes they made are not bad things ya know#oh the other reason i didn't do shoulder the blame is because i wanted to do that for netkid when i get to them#since they have to live with this legacy plus they have the net terminal gene#it's a legacy kinda that they have to carry#edited again cause forgot an actual caption. w/e
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My biggest flex
Is that I know this word for word because I performed this scene for my drama final and got 100%
#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable divorce#we’ve known each other a long time#we’ve been on this planet for a long time#I mean#you and me#I can always rely on you#you could always rely on me#we’re a team a group#group of the two of us#and we’ve spent out existence pretending that we’re not#I mean these last few years not really#and I would like to spend#mmm-m#I mean if Gabriel and beelzebub can do it#go off together#than we can#just the two of us#we don’t need heaven we don’t need hell their toxic#we need to get away from them#just be and us#you and me what do you say
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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i find it rlly funny when i make a character and i’m just like. tumblr would love them. tumblr would be all over this character. why isn’t tumblr obsessed w them already. and then remember they exist only in my mind :(
#my character birthday i love birthday he’s one of my favorite characters i’ve ever made and i know he would be a hit on tumblr lmao#his name is birthday and he’s the birthday boy and it’s his birthday!#and also he’s devastatingly lonely. and lowkey got theseus’ shipped. whoops.#and also lilith. tumblr would adore lilith.#called the ghost of the wasteland and her existence is largely only rumored. was a genetic experiment to create something that#could survive the nuclear wastelands that cover the majority of her world. they succeeded but she escaped and now lives in those same#wastelands. is incredibly codependent w a very morally grey dude who was a black market test subject for poisons who escaped around the#same time as her and they ended up relying entirely on each other for survival for years and know each other better than anyone#but struggle to connect in any way that isn’t solely to keep each other alive when they’re older.#he never talks about his past and she is almost entirely nonverbal and doesn’t rlly want to find a way to tell him about hers.#she also realized after she escaped that she prefers to be referred to w she/her pronouns after her existence being viewed as#something instead of a someone and choosing that for herself is one of the first choices she ever made for herself and who she is.#and she’s only a side character in the story and mostly just haunts the narrative but yknow i should incorporate her more because#wow i love her actually. she’s dope as hell XD#dandy talks#my ocs#can’t talk more about birthday even tho i love him just as much because one of my friends has my tumblr and i’m using birthday#in a story i’m writing w my friends for fun and i don’t wanna spoil anything more than i have lmao. but yeah birthday is so cool lmao
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thinking about how multi generational households are so hard to keep up because everything here from societal expectations to maybe more importantly things live living/wellfare support actively discourage them and try to tear them apart. hm.
#like i love living w my mom as an adult and w my brother like our arrangment works for all of us. and ik im in a way incredibly lucky to#have a home where i feel comfortable and that i dont want to leave. like i understand why my older brother left and whatever. but also its#just more benefitial for us all to live together like this as poor people than alone or w random roommates. but like#thinking about the prospect of moving for my education soon makes me so sad because the governmental moving support for families isnt#applicable to us. and we are too poor to move as a whole family w/o assitance. and how previously our benefits have been under threath of#being cut because its seen as ’un-usual’ for 3 adult family members to live together so the societal expectation literally makes it harder#for us to exist. and i imagine its only doubly hard for for example immigrant families who want to keep their multi generational households#too. like none of this is planned for us or even made with ROOM for us it sucks#and the prospect of moving alone and leaving everyone is especially scary since we are all disabled and rely on helping each other. ugh
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Very sick generally of people trying constantly to frame trans men and trans women as being groups with competing interests and no overlapping experiences.
#No I am not going to relate to every aspect of a trans woman's experence#I'm not going to relate to every aspect of other trans men's experiences either#but the people who hate her hate me#the laws that are designed to hurt her hurt me#and I have no interest in benefitting at her expense or being raised up where she isn't regardless#like so many people's understanding in feminism imo relies on viewing men and women as inherently in opposition to each other#and the existence of trans people presents a problem to them#So their solution is just to decide which ones of us are women who need help and which ones of us are men to be treated with scorn#terfs go the wrong way on it meanwhile your average cis ally seems to be doing the same shit#with the mild bonus of not misgendering us while they're at it
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once we move beyond the dialogue vs narration shit goodly and truly and accept that they are and have always been interconnected, in many ways one and the same - then and only then , will we know world peace.
#taylor.txt#obviously a joke but also like…its reductive to say writers excel at one or the other#when they both rely on the same skills. when they feed into each other. when both operate to tell us something never mind the format#im not saying write everything The Same Way - im just saying that your narration is a type of dialogue (with the reader whose answers of#course you will never hear but which nonetheless exist!) and your dialogue a type of narration - by characters who as it turns out have#important things to say about the plot and the themes and all of it! they are not forces in opposition! they are brothers in arms!!!
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And you just know that if you did notice and take action, you'd be wrong about it that time. There'd be this whole "Why would you do that? I left that/did that the way I did for an important reason!" And it'll be something they think is total common sense but is something you've never thought of in your life and would never have imagined in a million years. But no, you messed up because "Everyone knows that!"
Of course, these 'tests' are coming from a real and valid feeling. They're not the proper reaction to it, but the feeling is real. They think you aren't paying attention to them, or don't care about being there when they need you, or they're just incredibly sick of always being the only one to wash the thing or do the chore. That's a real and valid feeling!
But the answer to that isn't to test, it's to talk. If you're having an issue with someone, you should talk to them. Tell them, hey, I always wash the car. I don't want to always be the only one to wash the car. Can you wash it too sometimes? Be clear and honest and communicate.
I hate that thing some people do where it's like. "I left my wallet on the table to see if you'd say anything" or "I wanted to see if you'd wash the car if I stopped doing it"
Cause like
I dont know about anyone else
But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering
And if I don't notice, because I won't, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don't say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would I KNOW
#Neurotypical people have this social cue super power that helps so much for working with others#But sometimes I feel like they're so used to relying on that#that when it fails they legitimately have no idea what to do#And we get weird unhealthy reactions like these secret tests#Meanwhile people without that superpower have to actually learn to communicate#They don't have a super shortcut tool to smooth all that out and make it easy for them#So many become very practiced at the important skill of#“Oh my gosh please just talk about it”#Maybe a little off topic but like#This is why neurodiversity is so important#I really do think it exists not exclusively as a defect but as an evolutionary advantage#We are here to learn from each other#And to help each other#That's important
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life can be a literal nightmare sometimes even when ur trying ur best to have fun and do well </3
#i love saying something without thinking abt it and completely missing something an ND person would get#and everyone has a reaction and ur sitting here trying to backtrack and feeling like every time you open your mouth it's a deeper grave#knowing that your friend is going to literally go talk to some other friend abt ur situation and ur gonna be helpless abt it#the thought makes me sick#i know my narrative is going to be taken away from me again#the whole thing has been. a nightmare#it feels so unfair when she said that she felt that way because what do you mean. what do you mean. the whole time i#i have been trying to make sure you're comfortable. i ask what you want. i ask if things are okay. i worried so much about you not knowing#it's not for my lack of asking and trying. i involved you in every decision making process. i tried to know what you wanted how you felt#but when you decided to pull the rug you didn't think how it would implicate me. there was no communication no trying#i had no say no context nothing just guilt and blame from other people for making you upset and not knowing why and i was expected to just#sit there Shut up and take it#and i did. i did. i did what you asked i did what you wanted#i made myself so small to the point it started to kill me#god. I've left you fucking alone. and still i have people telling me to avoid things and places bc of you.#how much smaller do i have to make myself?#i just know that by the end of the talk my friends have between Each other. the space I'm allowed to exist in will get smaller.#I'm going to have to behave in a more palatable way. be more quiet. live more quietly. die in a corner quietly.#I'm expected to ask for help from them but i can't have a breakdown in front of them because they can't take it.#I'm expected to rely on others but i can't ask them about this topic. i can't even talk about it.#it's good that i have. other things to keep me occupied. because or else this is suffocating. i don't want to be living like this#delete later
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Thinks abt oni pmd au oh so hard. When you get a second chance at a relationship only to re experience drifting apart from them all over again
#rat rambles#oni posting#idk how much Ive actually explained abt jackie and olivia's plot but it is generally pretty simple#I think Ive said that theyre searching for these power cell sorta things to try to restore the machine they first woke up next to#but idk if I actually ever explained how the cells work? well I mean I only like 10% know myself but I have a vague idea#basically theyre kind of similar to the temporal bow in concept and they operate on manipulating spacetime and such#but theyre a lot more based on the concept of alternate universes as opposed to times bow#basically making power from an individual pokemon over theoretically infinite universes#even though theoretically this could be achieved fairly safely with any pokemon it was highly theoretical stuff and also relied on the#assumption that the amount of applicable universes to draw from would be infinite for every individual#so all existing cells were tied to some of the gravitas guild's strongest pokemon who could theoretically handle the process#this worked mostly flawlessly except for the fact that the host's intent and concent ended up being more capable of influence than expected#now this did have some pros as it meant that facilities powered by theae cells could be built in a way that would allow the host full#access to many functonalities of the facility and allow them to keep close tabs on everything#but the downside was ofc that this could also be used to sabotage the conpany if the host so chose#the og jackie and olivia found a way around this issue somewhat by basically building the cells so that some of their innards could to an#extent overlap allowing the hosts to have some level of access to each other's cells#this functionality was not built between all of the cells but they were all built to be compatible with olivia and jackie's#this is in fact the only reason current jackie and olivia are able to track down the other cells in the first place#the one they found still in the machine was olivia's and due to its untable nature its constantly trying to expand into the other cells but#cant reach them#due to olivia being able to be connected to it just as much as any pokemon olivia shes able to feel this pull when she holds the cell#now most of the other cells are hidden in neutronium crusted abandoned gravitas facilities and cities so the two dont end up spending that#much time interacting with pokemon society and as such don't catch wind of the gravitas guilds existence until far far later on#what they do encounter though are the echoes of the pokemon who hosted each cell as they collect them#again olivia's cell is very unstable and is constantly trying to reach out for the other cells so when the two get close enough its able to#start pulling at the other cells enough to allow for said exhoes to physically manifest to varrying degrees#most of them end up being basically boss fights with a few of them just being scared or too gone to care#for the first few jackie and olivia assumed they were some strange security system given the broken down technology around them#but eventually it becomes all to clear that Something happened. and the two of them end up struggling to agree just what that something was
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