#but they havent delivered it today...

[gayspock]

im going 2 have wasted all my money again arent i -_

[collinnmckinley]

Waiting for my package that i ordered 2 days ago like-

[fandom-madness69]

🕯 🕯 🕯

🕯 🕯

🕯 my mf packages 🕯

🕯 🕯

🕯 🕯 🕯

[pandanscafanfiction]

🙃

[supaara]

ok so im finally onto my last physical copy of baccano, 1935-c, and i'll just have to dig for a fan translated version of 1935-d

.. and then i join the 1935-e waiting room purgatory.. omg

[swagging-back-to]

i swear to god if usps doesnt deliver my drugs today im breaking into the post office tonight and getting it myself

[technicolorxsn]

excuse me. I need 50 million days off to make things and hand deliver them and chat and run errands and have fun and spend time with people. please.

[canis-umbrarum]

sighs, wistfully

[chiscaralight]

Scaramouche x fatui! Harbinger reaader and reader is a higher rank than him.. Ive seen this a couple times before and it has me soaked everytime.

hehehehehhe nsfw balladeer!scara x reader. feels like i havent written for my stink in years. slight degradation?

this should be so embarrassing—it shouldn't even be happening. but why does it feel so good if it wasn't meant to be? why do you constantly find yourself wandering into his chambers in the dead of night so he can have his way with you? or more importantly, why was it so important today that you couldn't even wait for the moon to rise?

the reason will remain unknown to you, but the balladeer remains the answer. your front is pressed flat against his desk, bottom half completely exposed as he pounds into you with that sinister smile you don't even have to look back to see. shit, you're a higher rank than him, you should be the one bending him over! but with the way his cold fingers are pressing against the fat of your hips, dragging your body back into his as he hits that spot that makes you cry out his name with each thrust.

his speed is dizzying, and his grip on your hair is inhumane. the balladeer's lips are mere centimeters away from your ears, sickly spitting about how stupid you look going dumb on his cock. you're quick to oppose him in meetings and speak out on almost everything he lays down. but you take every single thrust he gives like it was your only purpose. such a big, bad harbinger like you getting their brain fucked out by someone lower ranked, what would your subordinates think, hm?

but his words hold no weight to you once his mouth finds your neck because you're already writhing from the pleasure of the bites he's adorning you with. he's freeing one of his hands to stretch it down, barely bumping his nimble fingers against your clit. your hand is flying towards his, desperately trying to get more touch out of him, but he only laughs. the fact you think you have any sort of power here is so amusing; pitiful actually.

"m-my lord! i was told to deliver some documents to you from Childe."

the voice behind the door is muffled by the thick wood, but the words are loud and clear. your eyes widen at the thought of seeing you like this, but the balladeer is faster. your face is being pressed into the material of his desk as his eyes meet yours and his voice is a low whisper.

"aww, are you scared of your subordinates seeing you so useless? what if I was to let him in and see you like this?"

you're not sure if the tears welling in your eyes are from how sensitive you're getting or the reputation riding on your head was about to be damaged, but the silent plea of your eyes is enough for him to barely bite back a smile. pure fear, that's one thing he doesn't get to see so much from you. so in exchange for this euphoric feeling you've given him, he'll spare you just this once.

"bring them back tomorrow. i'm busy."

"but my lord, the eleventh-"

"will the eleventh bring you back to life once i rid your body of life?"

"i-i will be back tomorrow, my lord."

the padding away of feet has your mouth opening in a relieved breath. but you're more concerned about why the man behind you has stilled his movements.

the balladeer is more than convinced that since he helped you such a great amount, you owe him something—a show. which is why he's leaned back on the large seat in his office with you completely bare, bouncing on him like some cheap whore. you're not sure what's more humiliating; the fact that he's still practically fully clothed or the shameless staring at you. eyes raking over your body as you move on top of him. your nails are digging into the fabric resting on his shoulders for balance, but the way his hands are holding your waist is more than enough to keep you in place.

but you are much too slow for his liking today, and he wants to pump you full as much as possible, as soon as possible. so he's almost throwing you down, pushing your leg up, and sliding back in with ease. his kiss is as harsh as he is, full of moans and tongues clashing, but it only fuels that heat in your belly as he picks up his pace. you're whining about how you need to cum, begging pathetically for your release. the only answer you get is rough circles to your clit once again as your eyes roll back, noises being silenced by the balladeer's other free hand pressing against your mouth. after all the stupid crying you do, you do absolutely nothing to actually try to shut the slightest bit up from your orgasm, so annoying.

he'll shake you awake, then tell you to fuck off from his office. you'll redress in silence and head for the door, but hell stop you just before you leave. before you can question, his lips are hot on yours once again, pressing your back against the wood as you slide your hands into his hair. you can swear you hear him groan as you grind your hips forward, but he'll pull back regardless. his fingers will adjust the collar of your shirt you can never seem to get right, then usher you out once the large hall is clear. he'll stare at the spot you just left, eyes practically burning holes in the carpet with a strong scowl on his face. he can still feel your skin against yours and it pisses him off. he misses it.

[riwrite]

enemy defeated

the cruelest trick the world has ever played on me was to make me an autistic cosplayer who cant stand the texture of eva foam

[nisuna]

I humbly request more step bro Yuuji… 😳

And I shall most certainly deliver ;^)♡

this is heavily inspired by one of enoki junya's audio dramas, which is just chef's kiss iykyk, without further ado hope you enjoy!!<3

TW: stepcest, first time?(sus), allegedly inexperienced, oral f receiving, unprotected sex, creampie, mating press, missionary, Nee-chan🤤, aged up ofc, ~1.5k words

♡masterlist♡

-------------------strictly 18+; MDNI-------------------

"Can I eat you out?"

You definitely did not expect to find yourself in this kind of situation when Yuji first came to visit you today. It was weird, but you were definitely intrigued.

"Have you ever done that before?"

"No", he confessed. "But im a fast learner!" he exclaimed and you could see his imaginary tail wagging with excitement. How can you say no to those puppy eyes.

"I can't believe I'm doing this.", you sighed.

He was waiting patiently with begging eyes. However, as soon as you gave him the go ahead he immediately latched his teeth onto the waistband of your panties, pulling them down in one smooth motion.

"Where did you learn that move from?, you cocked an eyebrow, suspicion growing

"That's a secret" he chuckled sticking his tongue out in excitement. "Whoa you're glistening and I havent even touched you yet. You're really amazing Nee-chan."

"Shut up."

"Alright, alright, just tell me if you're uncomfortable."

"Fuck just do it already ah-"

You moaned as soon as his tongue hit you, legs cramping and toes curling. His licks were so delicate and soft, it had your legs squirming, unsure where you should put them. So he made that decision for you by hoisting them over his broad shoulders. As he sprawled out one of his big palms over your tummy to pin you down the other slipped under your thin top grabbing a handful of your breast.

The sudden intrusion made you speeze his face between your thighs. Borderline suffocating, but he loved every second of it nonetheless.

He meticulously fondled your breast, pinching your nipple ever so often. Every small movement of his pushed you more and more over the edge. Soon you couldn't do anything but chant his name over and over. When you finally came on his tongue he kept licking you through your orgasms. He did not want to pull away, but as soon as you started whining from the overstimulation he finally did, a mix of his spit and your juices running down his chin.

He leaned his cheak against your thigh before he spoke up. "Whoa, she's so pretty" he hummed running his fingers through your pussy, admiring it.

"Don't say stupid things like that. Besides, you're a dirty liar. As if that was your first time ever doing that!"

"But she is!", he firmly stated thick fingers spreading you open, trying to get an even better look at your cunt and completely ignoring your accusations. "If you dont believe me we can do it in front of a mirror next time mh-", you slapped your hand over his mouth, which only earned you a moan and a lick to your palm.

You let out a long sigh before speaking up, "Thats enough, Mr.", you pulled his ear, "Come up here and kiss me, if your mouth doesn't have anything better to do."

He grinned before kissing up your body and finally pushing his lips against yours. At the same time he pushed two thick fingers inside of you, making you gasp at the sneak attack and pull his hair. He groaned at the pain, before latching his mouth onto your neck.

He was trying to stretch you out, because how could he possibly fit into such a tight hole, when his fingers barely had any room. After a few kisses and bites to your neck he deemed you ready.

He was gentle when he as he slotted himself between your legs.

"Shit, I don't have any condoms", he panicked frantically looking across the room.

"It's fine. I like it better without, anyway...", you trailed off.

"Shit", he groaned. "You really are the best, Nee-chan." With a content sigh he lined himself up with you, before starting to push in. To his surprise he was still faced with some resistance.

"Ah you're so tight, please relax Nee-chan ah"

"Easier said than done", you groaned putting your arm over your eyes.

You both moaned, when he finally bottomed out.

"Wow, im really inside of you..."

One moment he was caressing your thighs so sweetly and the next he was knocking the wind out of your lungs with his harsh thrusts. You did not expect that much force from someone who claimed that he had no experience.

"Wait slow down mh-!", he cut you off by leaning down and kissing you, cradling your face in his big palms.

"Have you done this with anyone before?", he mumbled against your lips. "You're my first, Nee-chan."

"Liar.", you moaned.

"Am I?"

"Mh, whatever. Just, slowly, it's been a while.", you felt your cheeks burn up at the lame confession of not getting laid. You were trying to enjoy it, but with each thrust, you kept adjusting your body. And of course, he noticed.

"Is it uncomfortable? Here put your leg up."

Without much resistance, he hoisted one leg over his shoulder. The new position made your eyes roll back, as he was hitting you deeper now. You couldnt stop the sounds that kept falling from our mouth and with each thrust you squeezed him just right, making him moan in return

"Whoa do you like it? Does this angle feel good.", he gently pecked your ankle.

"Mhm~~", you mewled, instinctively covering your face with your hands.

"Please dont hide, Nee-can. I want to see you."

He leaned down now pressing both of your legs against your chest, which earned him another moan.

"Wow, you're so flexible, Nee-chan. How lewd~"

He kissed your hands covering your face. "Please look at me nee chan. I want to see how good I'm making you feel.

He sounded so sweet, so who were you to deny him. When you finally looked up, big brown eyes were staring right back at you.

"Does it feel good?", he smiled and you pulled him into another kiss.

"Yes, it feels really good.", you smiled, holding his face in your hands.

"Oh, Nee-chan", he cried hiding his face in the crook of your neck. "I'm so happy right now."

He slowed down and came to a halt. Just hugging you and breathing in your scent. He soon let your legs down and leaned back. With him he pulled your hands down so your arms were pushing your tits together. He could hold both of your wrists in one rough hand and the mental image of him being bigger than you in every sense of the word made you squirm. He stuck his tongue out at the sight in front of him. Looking down to where you two were connected and at your messy face. After a few deep breaths he went to town.

In this new position you could feel him getting close, so you put your legs around his waist, essentially trapping him.

"Wait, Nee-chan. If you do that I'm going to cum." he he looked at you with a panicked expression.

"I know~", you grinned with excitement.

"I can cum inside of you, right? Please can I cum inside?"

He was too cute to deny him, so you moaned with a nod.

"Yes please fill me up~"

The way you stuck your tongue out really got him.

"Fuck you're so hot."

As soon as he let go of your hands, he hugged you tight, almost suffocating you with his beefy arms and within a couple thrusts he spilled his thick seed deep inside of you.

He was out of breath and his heart was about to jump out of his chest, so you tried your best to calm him down by caressing his hair humming contently. His head was resting on your breasts and he swore he was in heaven.

After a brief moment of silence he looked up at you with a stern expression and said, "Only do it with me from now on, okay? I want to be the only one to see you like this. I will do anything you want, so please, Nee-chan, just me."

You tried holding your laughter at his cute request, so you ruffled his fluffy pink hair before putting your foreheads together and whipering a quitet "Sure." against his lips. Life was good.

---

"Tell me tho, that wasn't really your first time right? That was just an act to get me in my feels.", you lifted an eyebrow at him and he expertly averted his gaze. His face had *caught* written all over it, so you pulled on his cheek to get his attention.

"First one that meant anything to me, though.", he pouted.

Darn sweet talker.

-----

Gaaaahhh I havent written for him in so long I really missed him 🤧🩷

Anyway, hope you enjoyed, please lmk what you thought! Until next time MWAH

[fuxuann]

this is really urgent. (i have another post like this but i havent gotten anything yet)

im rosemary. a disabled lesbian. im out of incontinence items. i need $50 so i can get more. i can get them delivered from walmart today. i will show proof of ordering them and this post and the other will be made unrebloggable.

please help a disabled lesbian. if five people sent $10 i'll be set. even if you cant donate please reblog!!

paypal.me/akirk432 (pls send via friends and family)

cashapp: $autumnroses93

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

you wouldnt believe it but im old enough to drive a car. lookm at me and tell me you can imagine Me. driving a car ok. think about that . i gotta get ready to go to college after i finish getting my ged. i can go to college and drive a car look at me and tell Me you can imagine the concept of that . STRAIN YOUR BRAIN ABOUT IT. im doing that all the time

HEY. you wanna feel Suuuuuper old and nostalgic for no reason other than i feel the Need to cause mischief? (what else is new tbh) Im turning 18 this Friday <|:o) <- me with a birthday hat on 🌈🎉

EYYYYY!! That IS crazy to think of, how old you've gotten. Last time I checked, you were 11 :p

I hope you have a lovely birthday, and an awesome week leading up to it!!!!💙

[kichikichiko]

Trip to dreamland

FIRST TIME WRITING FOR MY FAV PUPPET WALLY <3333

Request by : @lunarowen 🤭

Synopsis : Wally sees his beloved tired and sleepy, so the puppet prepared his Darling charm and comforts you

Pairing: wally darling x gn puppet! Reader

Cw: fluff, comfort, established relationship, slightly OOC?, sleeping together on the same bed 🥹🫶🏻, not proofread

──────•❥❥❥•──────

Sorry to bother you both, but have you seen (name) anywhere today?" The neighbourhoods favourite artist asked Julie Joyful and Frank Frankly, interupting their conversation.

"Oh sorry wally! I havent seen them at all today! Now that I think about it, they seem quite off the day before, right Frank?" Julie looked back at Frank, looking for some kind of answer

Frank nodded after a bit of thinking and looked at the yellow puppet "why dont you ask Eddie? He's probably delivering mail right now"

Wally thanked the 2 and made his way down to Eddie Dear's post office and asked him the same question.

"Sorry Wally" Eddie started, back facing Wally as he sorted out mails and packages. "I havent seen em today either, I will stop by their house later on, if you want I can report to you what I find"

Wally shaked his head "no that wont be necessary I think I'll just head over to their house instead, thank you Eddie"

You and Wally were suppose to have a painting date around the woods of the neighbourhood, but you never showed up.

After a bit, the yellow puppet arrived at your home and knocked a few times, when there was no answer he started to get worried.

He knocked again "hello~? (Name), its me Wally. Are you alright in there?" No answer

He pondered for a bit then decided to do something

"I'll come inside then (name)"

He entered your house and stood at the entrance, waiting to hear something, anything from you but again no sound can be heard.

Wally went up the stairs to your bedroom and knocked, "(name)? Are you alright?"

He opened your bedroom door slightly and peaked his head in, the sight he saw was you propped up on the floor dozing off with papers scattered around the floor.

Wally walked up to you and crouchrd down, shaking you a bit to wake you up.

You opened your eyes and groaned a bit "wally...? What are you doing here? Were suppose to meet tomorrow..."

"It IS already tomorrow (name), you didnt show up at our meeting place" He answered you with his signature smile and lazy eyes.

Once he said that did you finally gain your senses, you looked around to see the sun shining through your window, then at the clock and back at Wally

He didnt seemed bothered at the slightest, making you feel guilty. "Im... so sorry Wally I didnt- I should have set an alarm! I didnt realised I dozed off last night oh no!"

Wally placed his hand on your head and shaked his head, the smile still on his face "dont worry about it, I was worried something happened to you, speaking of which...whats with all this paper scattered about?"

You scanned the area and finally remembered what you were SUPPOSE to do the night before

"I was... trying to prepare a drawing of the both of us last night.. as a surprise gift to give to you when we meet up..." blush formed around your cheeks (if that was even possible) as you looked down to your hands, slightly embarrassed "none of them looked nice so I kept on trying to draw a better one... i guess I lost track of time and the next thing I knew, I've already fallen asleep"

The yellow puppet laughed at your words, "ha.. ha...ha" some puppets thoight the way he laughed was iffy or strange, but you never thought of it that way, in fact when he laughs, it washes your worries away.

"Oh dear (name) I think all your drawings look lovely, I would have appreciated all of them either way and Im sure you know that" he gave you a closed eyes smile reassuring you, making you smile a bit. He took your hand and stood up "lets just spend the day at your place, you seem pretty tired so lets just relax"

You nodded and lead him to your bed as you layed on it Wally following along.

He attemped to hug you, but ended up limp in the process making you laugh "youve gotten slightly better at this Wally"

"Im glad, the concept of hugging is still strange to me, ha.. ha.. ha..."

Comfortable silence ensued and you started feeling your eyelids drop, before you made your way to dreamland, Wally kissed your forehead and said the following words,

"Have a wonderful trip to dreamland, I'll see you there, Darling."

──────•❥❥❥•──────

REQUESTS OPEN

Masterlist here!

[1800-page-not-found]

Oooo ok genshin females (mostly Lisa and beidou) with a flirty s/o who just DIES when someone flirts back like s/o is like “uh…I’m…um..well..”

you guys i havent played genshin during the whole 3.7 update lmfao 😍

its summerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'll do Lisa, Beidou, and Yae Miko x reader

fyi i dont know how to flirt bc i personally dislike relationships irl so i searched this shit up. im aromantic but fictional characters are just so pretty

this also adds to the fact that im street stupid (but im academically smart tho trust me bro)

i lied im not going to use pickup lines i searched up online and theyre actually horrendous

"Lisaaaaa!" you smiled.

You were Lisa's library assistant, and the two of you were organizing new books while the library was closed.

"Yes cutie?" You laughed, "Me? cute? no way! If anything, I'd say youre the absolute cutest!"

It was quite hard to think straight after someone as pretty and perfect as Lisa complimented you.

"A-anyway," you stuttered, "could you help me sort out these books? I dont know where these go..."

You picked up some books from the delivered box full of books and started flipping through the pages trying to determine what genre the book was. It was hard determining if the book was fiction or non-fiction considering the bizarre events that happened in teyvat. You also didn't notice the quiet advancement of lisa's figure walking up to you.

"These go in the fiction section cutie." she whispered in your ear.

"R-right!"

You shot up and dashed to the other side of the library where all the other fiction books were. It was quite hard flirting with lisa, she'd always beat you to it, flirting with you at every waking moment and possibility. Today however, things were going to change!-

"You didn't think a carved wooden duck could actually be the former dendro archon and sang as a duck did you?" lisa teased you to the brink of embarrassment.

Thank barbatos that there was no one in the library.

"Well, I didn't finish reading it! Yeah!" you shot back, face buried in your hands as you blushed.

You were always unable to flirt with lisa without getting flustered as you could always count on her flirting back but well, more flirtatiously. Hmm...Maybe you were doing this on purpose?...

~~~~~~~~~~

As you walked around the city of liyue, you were spacing out as the day slowly became night. Your trail of thoughts stopped after you felt a hand tap your shoulder.

"[name]!" Ah, it was beidou. "Whatcha' thinkin' about?!" She laughed, bottle of alcohol in hand.

You assumed she got drunk from a dinner party or something, after all it was a bit odd seeing the captain on land.

"Ah, I was thinking about you darling~" You smiled at her, giving a smooth wink.

"Hahaha!" She laughed whole heartedly.

"Whaaat?" You playfully frowned. "Can I not think about someone as charming as you?" You gave her a grin.

"Nice to know you think I'm charming!" she laughed again, but then suddenly she snaked her arms around your waist, and slyly smiled.

"W-what are you doing?!" You blushed and used one of your hands to cover her eyes. "S-stop looking at me like that!!"

Beidou laughed as she peeled your hand off her face and held it while her other hand was busy holding you.

"You're all talk and no bite when it comes to flirting hmm?~" she started to slur her words. "Betcha' didn't think I would do this did you~"

She smiled and shrugged. "What can I say? You really thought flirting like that to me wouldn't make me fall for you? You have quite the charm, give yourself some credit!"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh my, [name], I didn't expect seeing you here~" yae miko hummed as she sat down next to you in Uyuu Restraunt, eyeing the many empty bottles of sake around you as you slumped down on the table.

"Hmmm?" You drowsily turned your head (which was still lying on the table if I may add) to face her. eyes widening you struggled to sit straight. "Ah! its the suuuuuper pretty fox shrine lady! When we met for the first time, I just couldn't keep my eyes off you! Your name is um...its uh..." You paused, lost in thought.

"Silly [name], we're dating already. I can't believe you forgot me..." Her ears flopped down and you panicked.

"N-no! I didn't forget-your name is...its y-yae miko right? Please don't be sad!"

"Awe, so you did remember!" She smiled at you, seeing your eyes sparkled looking at her rather cute and fluffy ears. "Do you wanna pet me? Hmm?" As she leaned in closer, you started to blush as she picked up your hands and placed it on her ears.

"Ohmygosh-their so soft!!" you said excitedly.

This however, allowed yae miko to slowly close the distance between your faces, until your noses were practically touching. Unfortunately for you however, it was too late to realize as yae miko planted a kiss on your lips.

Like some cliché excited cartoon highschooler that got asked out on a date with their crush, you fell onto the ground and rolled around like a ball, kicking your feet. "Ah!~The super pretty shrine lady kissed me! Ahehehehe!!" you blushed

Yae miko could only smile at your antics while drunk. "How cute..." She muttered under her breath.

Later on, she bridal style carried you home.

~~~~~~~~~~notes

some of you guys got hella concerning usernames (you know who you are)

are you guys even real or

[hannisimp]

‼️‼️EMERGENCY COMMISSION‼️‼️

Hellow! I havent been posting alot lately because of uni, i am deeply sorry!😞😞😞 but ill be posting soon! More snape and lucius content (even marauders😎)

For now ill be accepting commissions for awhile! So feel free to message me in any of my socials or even in tumblr!💛💛💛

For my past clients, i apologize for the sudden up of prices! But ill make sure to deliver your order earlier!🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

PS: DONT FEEL OBLIGATED! Just sharing is deeply appreciated!🫶🏻🫶🏻💛💛 Thank you all soo muchh!!!