#but they have so many good songs that aren't wake me up before you go go and last christmas

[kneworder]

sorry but faith is literally SUCH a good album like it is such a DISSERVICE that most people i know only know careless whisper when fucking hand to mouth exists????? monkey?????? hard day????? look at your hands?????? FATHER FIGURE????? FANTASY?????????????????? like hello..........

[naomiarai]

» please fuck me. — cbg.

» synopsis : going against your boyfriend while he was on a trip couldn't end so bad right?

» pairing : beomgyu × afab!reader

» wc : 1.7k

» warnings : dom!gyu, sub!reader, daddy kink, degradation, praise, name calling (whore, slut, angel, princess, sweet girl), oral (f.rec), use of toys (dildo), creampie, cum eating, slight breeding kink, multiple orgasms, ass slapping, manhandling. [ lmk if i should add anything else]

god, you're so horny. you've been holding back for quite sometime now, wanting to feed your craving with your boyfriend's dick. he's gone on a trip, about two weeks just to let out some stress. of course, being the good girlfriend you are, kissed him goodbye asking him to have a good time.

but now you really needed him. waking up all warm and sweaty, mind clouded with dirty thoughts of him. you would have relieved yourself of this sexual distress, if beomgyu would allow you to touch yourself when he wasn't around. it was frustrating having to ignore the dull ache between your legs.

you come out of your thoughts with a sigh, deciding to call him. atleast that'll satiate your mind. you press the green call button, bring the buzzing phone to your ear. you hear a faint “hello” alerting you. “hi beomie~” you say in a sing-song voice, making him giggle.

“finally woke up huh? did you eat?” he asks, “not yet, i miss you” you say with with a dull voice. can't he come home already? “hm, i miss you too angel, just two more days I promise”. two more days and you think you'll burst. “i need you~ 'm so wet” you say rubbing your thighs together, you needed some kind of friction.

“i'll take care of you as soon as i get back, so don't you dare touch yourself okay?” he says with a stern voice. you mentally rolled your eyes, can't he atleast guide you?. “okay okay, i love you” you say with a laugh, “i love you too” he replies back before you cut the call.

you give out another sigh, before deciding to take shower. the physical urge to finger yourself in the shower was quite high. beomgyu wouldn't notice if you did right? by the time you came to that conclusion you were done, hopping out with droplets of water dripping.

you decide that perhaps going out would help take your mind off beomgyu. you can handle two more days can't you?

1 day later »

god you couldn't help it, your fingers slipping in and out of your drenched cunt emitting such lewd and wet noises. you can't recall how many times you've cum already, a sticky mess of white made between your legs. it's okay you think to yourself, beomgyu's not even here anyway.

but what if he notices? what if he notices how not wet you are when he touches you? your mind can't hold on to that thought long enough as you cum for the nth time. but that still didn't satiate you. you're really horny aren't you? your fingers had helped but not to the full extent. at all.

your hand reached over to the cabinet by your bedside, swiftly opening it and pulling out a dildo, something only beomgyu would use on you. you didn't care right now, the urge to use it was full. you slip it inside you, moaning at the stretch, “god–mhmph!” you whine, pulling it in and out again and again.

just the thought of beomgyu finding out sent shivers down your spine. but he'll come tomorrow, he'll never know. right?

you jolt in your spot, the creaking sound of the door slipping open increasing your heartbeat in seconds. had he come home early? why? maybe to surprise you? but you didn't want that surprise. atleast not now. it is him. your eyes go wide, your voice stuck in your throat. “surprise!..” he yells before his voice dies down at the end.

his face morphs into amusement as he takes in the sight, scoffing out loud. “beom–.. i'm-” you try to speak, as you get up getting closer to him. “tsk, fucking whore. couldn't wait till i got home? and look at the mess you made” he says while looking at cum covered dildo. “and you used this too? you're really desperate aren't you” he says pointing at the dildo.

“beomie- i- i'm sorry i couldn't help it-” you stutter as you try to tell him. it was true though, he was gone for way too long. “all you wanted to do was cum huh? couldn't go a mere two weeks without covering your cunt in cum?” you scoffed inside your head.

beomgyu would act exactly how you did if you were gone for less than a week. but you really shouldn't say that right now. you weren't gonna lie, you get turned on when he gets like this, which was not good at your part, not when he's eyeing you like that.

his eyes wander over your figure, “on your fours”

»»»

he's got you full naked now, on the same cum covered sheets, no he didn't bother changing it or cleaning it up. he was behind you, on his knees as he spread your ass cheeks apart, pressing his tongue against your pussy.

you expected him to punish you, edge you or anything nearing that. why was he giving you what you wanted? you weren't complaining, if anything you should keep your mouth shut. any angrier he gets, you're in for it.

his tongue lapped at your cunt, licking up the leftover cum from your previous orgasm. “mmh- hnng!” you whimper as you push your ass into his face. he doesn't say anything, simply pushing his tongue deeper inside your cunt, sliding it in and out. he could feel you were close, tightening his grip on your thighs as he buried his face into your cunt.

“shit— 'm gonna cum! hng” you moan as cum all over, squirting on his face. but he doesn't stop, still eating you out, swallowing the remaining cum. “beomie- i-i just came” you try to say as you try to pull away. he grips your hips, keeping you in place, “didn't you want to cum so bad? i'll make you do it again and again, just watch” , you can't see his face but your know there's a shit eating grin on it.

“ah-! too much! can't take it, please” you beg as your thighs shake at the overstimulation. beomgyu seems to be mindless about it as he continues eating you out like a starved man. “gyu- please m' cumming! fucking hell” you scream as your orgasm takes over your you, head dropping into the sheets as your breathing gets heavy.

beomgyu pulls away from your cunt, staring with delight at the mess he made of you. but he's not stopping there, oh no. he picks you up gently, climbing onto the bed as he places you on his lap straddling him. “such a slut, maybe this is what you're made for? only good at moaning n' cumming” he degrades as he slaps your ass. you whimper at his action, face resting against his chest.

you feel him reach over for something, the dildo you had used without his permission earlier. he sticks it at your entrance, rubbing it against your folds. “please-! can't take it- ts' too much” you whine as he pushes it all the way in. you jolt up, thighs starting to shake again as he ruts it inside you. “you can take it, tsk, you're such a cumslut. cumsluts like you can fucking take it” he says into your ear, you feel like crying at way you clench around the toy.

“ah- please wan' your cock instead- can't-” you say pleading. he laughs at your request, slapping your ass, “weren't you just begging me to stop? you're like a bitch in heat always cock hungry” he says as you cum again, all over his thighs.

he lays you down, propping your legs over his shoulders as he removes his boxers, dick hard and red~ he rubs it against your cum, coating it in white. without warning he enters you, pounding into your aching pussy. “ah, ah-! hnng! fuck! right there! s-so big” you babble as he presses the bulge in your tummy, making you roll your eyes back.

“shit- angel, such a tight pussy, all mine” he groans as you clench around him.

his hand goes down to rub at your clit, only thrusting in faster. god if beomgyu was going to fuck you like this everytime you act out, you'll do it again and again. you feel his dick twitch inside of you, alerting that he was about to cum.

“daddy! fuck wan' you to cum inside please-mm!” you beg. daddy? now that was new. but seemingly enough to fill you up to the brim. “princess, gonna make you say that again” he groans as he flips you on your stomach, ass up in the air. he enters your throbbing pussy again, slamming his hips to yours the sounds of skin slapping against skin clouding your head. “sweet girl- fuck, your cunt's sucking my cock in so good” he grunts as pulls you back to kiss you.

you moan into the kiss as he enters his tongue inside our mouth, hand gripping your jaw as he deepens it. you pull back, a tight coil forming inside your stomach. “daddy! ah- harder! please! mmh!” you spurt out as he does exactly that. “yeah? shit— harder? wan' daddy to fuck you harder, fill you up?” he asks, slapping your ass for a response.

“yes! wan' you to fill me up again! fuck- right there gyu-” that does it for him, you creaming all over his cock while his filled you up, warm cum leaking down your legs.

“shit– did i go too hard princess?” he asks out of breath, you simply shake your head, whispering a ‘i loved it’. he pulls out, smiling at the mess made of the sheets. you turn around to kiss him, “i'm sorry i was horny” you mutter against his lips, he chuckles at you, “it's okay, don't do that again unless you don't wanna walk for a week” he whispers as you playfully hit him on the chest.

he picks you up in bridal style, walking towards the bathroom, you'll need to shower and definitely change the sheets. thinking of how often you'll need to change them now that beomgyu's home. you're just happy he's back now, you'll get to wake up next to him now.

a good day spent. in your opinion atleast.

[thoughtsafterdark]

Shoeboxes and Eggshells

When I was younger, carefree and naive.

Watching the raindrops that whipped and bent on the windows on the highway.

And the rolling storm grey clouds gather above

Listening to the radio and nodding off to sleep, eyelids heavy with sand and head foggy with warmth

I thought it was ridiculous how much of music is made up of love songs

Used to think it was impossible for them all to be genuine, how can one person love so much and so many times, falling into all the same traps.

But then I grew into a hopeless romantic.

I fall in love with fragments and shards of people, keep them in an old shoebox amongst pretty rocks from the beach and candy wrappers from fairs long gone. I nip and peck at them all, like a crow catching the glint of something shiny out of the corner of too-intelligent eyes. I collect half smiles and smirks, the curve of a thigh or hip, the swish of a bohemian white skirt on a beach in early June. Pearly laughter, bright and pink, nimble fingers and chocolate eyes. They pass through me like wisps, shadows in the night that leave only whispers in their wake. Imprints that weave and meld together like threads, like brands on my soul.

In August evenings, when the sun is low and the heat of the day evaporates into a balmy night, I like to play Badminton with my sister the way I used to play with him. And as I lunge for points, I listen to the angry, dark music I used to listen to with her, so I could prove that I was just as broken. Now I don't have to pretend anymore. I carry the pain of them all with me everywhere I go. With each one I could swear I lose a piece of myself. Theseus' ship, continuously replenished. But every time I am amazed at the tears I still have left to cry.

Now, sitting here with you in this newfound cocoon of solace I think I finally understand

The trouble with falling out of love and becoming someone else is there's no guarantee the new version of me won't fall for the new version of you.

We're no longer the bright eyed and bushy tailed fools we were two years ago. I'm angrier, rougher around the edges. I care now with a vicious edge that wasn't there before. The sort of kindness born not of softness but pressurised rage.

Your walk is slower, hunched over with responsibility and disappointment.

Yesterday you laid your head against the wall, throat bobbing and you told me you felt like a failed imposter, like you'll never be good enough. I feel for you but will you hate me if I say. That the ghost of the girl I was is glad that carefree boy who killed her is dead now too.

We left their graves in the dirt behind us as we outgrew those bodies.

We're growing up now, and that all feels so silly. A distant dream of who I used to be.

It's different now, but it still scares me. Because I can feel myself falling for you all over again. But it's warmer. Softer. Steadier. Based on an easiness that wasn't there.

I won't do anything this time I know. I can't bear to lose you again. But I'm scared of you leaving me so maybe I'll up and run

I'll just keep these embers stoked and warm, close to my heart to give my strength. Before another day rolls around where we're strangers again

Its easy now. We slot well together. Like well-worn cogs in the machine on this newfound eggshell thin camaraderie. Dependable, reliable. I know it won't last I miss you. I fucking hate you

How does it feel

To exist on so many levels at once

How is it that

You've mastered the superposition state

You're there and you aren't

Always and never

A text away but

Filled with hollow monosyllables and periods

Yes I am a romantic but you are my greatest mistake

 Never before have I fallen into the mouth of the same shark, and convinced myself the bite was that of someone who cared

I would chew off my own right arm to know what you were thinking when you look at me. Do you feel the same pit of squirming worms deep inside, the mix of pain and agony and bittersweet longing of what could have been. It's funny what tricks oxytocin plays on us. Do you know how it feels to cry over something that was never real. Do you wonder why we aren't friends anymore. Or am I so insignificant a fly the thought has never crossed your mind. Just someone you used to talk to, but don’t anymore

I'm sorry the mortifying ordeal of my love was so embarrassing for you, I'm sorry I lied. I wasn't who you thought I was. But in my defence, neither were you. The boy I loved lived only in my dreams. I built him myself, out of desperation and hunger. He was what I needed at the time. I'm sorry he had your face. You were just there, and I was lonely and afraid.

[pillowspace]

hi! hope ur doing well! out of curiosity, do you have an ISAT playlist? and if so, would you be cool with sharing it? I’ve been trying to find some good songs related to the game and i’m familiar with a lot of the artists you listen to so i figured i’d ask :)

I only just recently joined the In Stars and Time fandom, so I don't have many songs yet, but yeah!

I also started typing out notes under the readmore for (most of) the songs because I thought I'd only have a few, but then I... kept thinking of more songs, so the notes section got bigger? So uh...!! Feel free to read that or not. Up to you, shrug

I actually had not heard this song until my Spotify started randomly playing recommended songs while I was in the middle of drawing Siffrin, and the second I started processing the lyrics about familiarity and time travel, I did a startled glance over like "wh... what's playing??" This song plagues my ISAT visions

---

Genuinely been wanting to make an animatic out of the first minute but I don't know if I have it in me. Just saying, the "smi-i-i-ile" has enough in it to fit every different photo from the mirror

---

FLASHING COLOURS AT THE 3 MINUTE MARK:

One specific thing I have to note with this song is that I like to envision Siffrin waking up in the meadow on the line "the day I wake up naked in the dirt."

---

"The million what if Is between your ears. The feelings of regret, and now I'm running to forget. But know, the consequence of imagination's fear" thinks about Siffrin and Bonnie, thinks about Siffrin and Bonnie, thinks ab-- oh yeah, and the bit about ruby eyes reminds me of 2hats

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FLASHING AT THE 3 MINUTE MARK AND LOUD POTENTIALLY OVERWHELMING SOUNDS AT THE END:

A song about feeling hurt and giving all that you've gone for an acting performance?? Back to the stage, Siffrin

---

There's some lines that aren't too too fitting for ISAT, but I'm fond of this song, so I can spin a meaning onto them with enough thinking power. Nonetheless, there still are plenty of fitting parts. Post-canon Siffrin coping after the loops :)

---

Interestingly, I've actually had this song associated with going mad from time loops since ages before I played In Stars and Time. "Maddening. It's a regular bad thing" and "nothing's really happening." Plus "I'm afraid to lose you" ties into ISAT pretty well

---

Specifically Loop tends to cross my mind whenever this comes on lately

---

I like to imagine this being about Siffrin as a child on their island being a little wanderer before that meant something else, then it slowly leading into Siffrin's adulthood (bend gravity and space being about the loops)

---

I'll never hear the sound of someone calling me home... I was the beast all alone in my hell........

[aroacewxs]

Black Hole Fantasy - Rui's Acceptance Towards Change (Character & Lyric Analysis)

Hello! This came to me in a vision. I'm either factually correct or just deranged to the point where every single song reads as Rui to me, but oh well!! I love the Crane Wives, I love this song, this album so so much. And I like Rui. So this is your sign to listen to Beyond, Beyond, Beyond in its entirety from beginning to end as intended. For me. (Please. It's also for your own good.)

Note: This is more of a middle school/main story Rui analysis but it applies to so many more of his focuses as well : ) I just didn't want to include everything or else it would end up too messy and long!

Aren't you tired of going through the motions? Is the daily grind meant to dull the mind? I sense a window somewhere closing Somewhere in the world that I just have to find

We start off by looking through the window of a depressed teenager, roughly fourteen or fifteen, slowly wearing his heart and mind away. Every day is the exact same: he wakes up, goes to school (whether he actually sits through class is a whole other story), he keeps his head down, his presence small and tiny. He melts into the background and becomes nothing more but an idea, a rumour. There is no place for him here; all he can do is watch from a safe enough distance.

And Rui knows, he knows that happiness exists. He knows it's there, but it's not here. Not for him. Maybe, in another pocket of the universe where he didn't have to eat lunch alone, but rewriting his story this way, well, that just wouldn't be his story anymore, would it?

The days blur together I watch the ceiling buckle, the walls are closing in There's a black hole in the living-room floor I keep trying to ignore, but it's growing

And even though he can try all he wants, remaining apathetic to the life he was given, he can't ignore how much it eats away at him. It's leaving holes in his chest, holes much too big for a simple fix. He'll take them with him wherever he goes, even as he leaves the rooftop, graduates, leaves the school, leaves the next one.

Even after he cuts his hair, transfers to Kamiyama, and carries on with his guerilla gigs like usual, he doesn't feel whole.

Why? Why won't it go away?

If love is just a chemical reaction Is there a pill to take? Something to quell this ache? Is this the real thing or a distraction? Is it worth the risk? My life would detonate

My knuckles hesitate an inch away from the door What happens when it opens?

It doesn't go away when Tsukasa approaches him with a generous invite, either. He's honoured, of course, but it brings him more fear and dread if anything. There's no way, he tells himself. Life has taught him that no matter how much love he has to give to the world, the world is simply not as loving. He can't take this chance, not again.

And even if it was good enough to be true, just enough good for someone like him, there's no way it would last. It's only a matter of time before they look at him like everybody else did, and all that would be left for Rui is to watch the world from above like he always did, revelling in the fact that he was proven right once more.

Even in my fantasy, I can't commit to believing That I'll get what I want, I'm afraid of what I want Even in my fantasy, I keep the car running In case I need to take off

The months blur together I watch the ceiling buckle, I wonder when it's caving in There's a black hole in the living-room floor I keep standing on the edge and looking in

After all, it's better this way! It's better this way: barely within arm's reach, always a few feet from the door, bags packed from the very beginning, ready to leave when it becomes clear to him that he is probably not welcome anymore.

All Rui needs is complete and utter freedom to make the shows he wants to make. He's convinced himself that he doesn't need other people. People are people, I am me. It's as simple as that, and there is no use in hoping for anything more.

But, deep deep down, he knows it's not true. He's known forever now that something was missing, something he can't place a finger on. This wasn't enough, it will never be enough, but he can't spit those words out himself. Admitting to the truth means accepting that you are unhappy, not like this, not forever, who are you trying to fool, you need more, YOU NEED MORE. However, for someone like Rui who has been taught to believe that he is a selfish person, a cruel, heartless thing who would do whatever it takes to get what he wants, it was easier settling with the little he had.

This is how it should be, Rui tells himself and to nobody else.

But a small, small part of him, something he left years ago in an empty room, cried for someone else to be there with him too.

And on the other side is another life A version of me with a spark in her eyes That I don't have And now she's laughing And it's killing me that I cannot see What's making her laugh From where I'm standing And I have to know So, I'm going in I'm going in

I don't exactly have a perfect way to segue this into the last verse but I just really love the imagery of a younger, sadder Rui, watching his future self from a distance, and he's laughing, smiling, and he's so full of life. Who did he meet that he could let loose and just simply be? Who is making his face crinkle up into the smile he can't even muster anymore? Who is putting the shine in his eyes, the love in his heart? He wants to turn away, it's not real, it's not true. There's nothing like that for him. Not in this life. But the more he watches the more he hurts and the more he hurts the more he feels until all he can do is take that first step forward, reach his hand towards the light, and pray that something catches him.

Let's try this again I'm on my way to your house, guided by the stars I'm pulling in the driveway, I'm turning off the car I'm running to your porch, I'm sprinting up the stairs The door swings open and you're standing there You're beaming down at me, you're reaching out for me And pull me in your arms, and I feel your heart pounding I take a step back to catch my breath And we look at each other and double over and laugh, and laugh, and laugh

And years later, it hits him. That smile, that laugh he saw, was truly only possible due to the fact HE took that first step. It was Rui who "turned off the car," he's not running away anymore, he's moving forward. It was Rui who kept his arm outstretched, Rui who carried the courage to change, Rui who decided to grow closer with Wonderlands x Showtime, his classmates, and ultimately, with true friends outside of his troupe. Had he kept his heart closed away, cold from the wind on the school rooftop, everything would have stayed the same. Rui accepted change with himself first. Rui's change started with Rui.

And, by god, how good does it feel! How amazing is that breath of fresh air, the ache in his ribs from laughing too hard, the sores in his face from smiling too wide? How astonishing is the realization that oh, this is still you! It's still you! Despite everything, all the hurt, the loss, every sliver of joy in your life, it's still you! Maybe not quite anymore, but every part of you, at least a remnant, a memory, lives on in you alone. The Rui smiling with his friends today is the same Rui who believed that there was nothing in this world left for him. He's the same Rui as the Rui three, five, ten years ago, in the smallest of ways. And he carries every single part of him wherever he goes, close to his heart. And that really means something to me.

[specialinterestshows]

An unexpected surprise awaits in this latest chapter of my Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic.

Warnings for this section: Cannabis (weed) mention, dirty talk, jealousy/possessiveness

-

Absolute Smokeshow (Part 55 of ?): Good Things Come…

Walking through the club, you were surprised by how little the crowd bothered you despite only having taken one hit while you were outside. Your friends wave you over to the dance floor as the song changes and you join them in moving to the music. The song is unfamiliar, but the beat is easy to follow and your movements get more confident as you keep dancing. It isn’t until about halfway through the song that you start noticing more than one woman checking you out. One of your friends rolls her eyes as one of the women starts dancing closer to you, but you decide to enjoy yourself. The two of you reach a synchronicity that makes the occasional touching and grinding easy to play off as part of the dance, but you know better.

"Come with me," she tells you as the song ends before grabbing your hand and pulling you off the dance floor. Once you've both ducked into the hallway, her lips catch yours in a passionate kiss, making you moan. Your phone keeps buzzing, but you decide to ignore it.

"Aren't you going to get that?" the woman asks, suddenly sounding entirely different. You pull away and realize it's been Rhea the entire time, "Don't keep Mami waiting."

Jolting awake, you grab and check your phone immediately.

“If there’s another woman in your bed, send her on her way"

"Mami got a last-minute flight to come see her good girl"

The messages both ended with a little black heart and took a moment for you to process in the intensity of the early morning light. There wasn't anyone else in bed with you, but the message and your dream did remind you of the woman you had kissed last night. You tried not to feel disappointed that you didn't have any messages from Marisol yet as you started typing a reply to Rhea:

"What time do you-" but as if she knew what you were typing, the next message from Rhea tells you when her flight lands. After deleting what you had been typing and checking the time, you start waking up enough to feel excited for Rhea's surprise visit.

"Can't wait! I'll pick you up. I love you!" you send the reply with a couple of hearts before getting ready for the day.

Driving in circles around the recent arrivals pick-up area a few hours later, you can't help but think you might not even be seeing Rhea if you hadn't shown real interest in another woman last night. You wanted more than anything to reassure your girlfriend that she didn't have to worry about anyone taking you away from her, but you doubted saying so would make much of a difference. Perhaps you had to find a way to show her. Somehow.

Spotting Rhea in a small crowd exiting the building, you pull up to the curb and slow to a stop. Popping your trunk and unlocking your doors, you return her brilliant smile as she walks over, luggage in tow. While she carried and lifted the large suitcase with ease, you couldn't help but jump at the sound it made being set into your trunk - as though it was inexplicably heavy.

"I missed you so much, babe," you say, leaning in to give Rhea a quick kiss as she slides into the seat next to you before joking, "Just so I'm not too surprised: Did you bring the entire rest of the Judgment Day with you in that suitcase, or what?

Feigning a disappointed sigh after buckling herself in, she called to the back of your car, "She figured it out, boys. Might as well come on out."

"Seriously, though, what's in the suitcase?" you insist, merging with the airport traffic.

"Patience, darling," Rhea teased, resting her hand on your thigh as she raises her boots onto the dash, "All in good time."

Biting your lip, you do your best to focus on the road in front of you as she squeezes your thigh before lifting her hand to mess with the radio. Your mind kept drifting to the suitcase, wondering how many days Rhea was staying and what she brought with her.

“You wore a skirt,” Rhea’s sultry voice pulled you out of your thoughts as she played with the hem, tracing her nails on your thighs just underneath, “Such a good slut - all the better for Mami to check just how needy you are whenever she wants.”

Part 56: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/733061976424579073/absolute-smokeshow-part-56-of-to-those-who

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Tag List (thank you!)

@cherryberryshine , @littlemiss-fanficlover , @elisewithak , @babybatlover , @girlofpink , @kagome2909 , @domripley , @wiccanpriestess

[pinksoullesswench]

Cute, cozy ways to survive winter

- buy a winter-ish tea to warm you up in the morning and the evening. You can also make your own mix (I love cranberry and elderberry)

- take vitamin D3 to boost your mood and prevent seasonal depression

- take beta carotin to have a glowy, tanned skin even without the sunlight

- get a good quality jacket from a material like wool or hemp (eco), and yes, it will cost a lot, but it's worth it. It keeps your warmer than any cheaper jacket and will last longer. A tip from a broke girl: I started to save up money in June. Also I search only in second-hand stores. I also recommend a faux fur. You can already find nice finds for 90€

- few times a week, make yourself a little bath for your feet. After a cold day, pour hot water into a bowl and put some nice bathing salts or etheric oils, I usually do smth that smells like pine trees. Super relaxing and warms your feet ^^

- read winter-ish books. They help to romanticize the cold time and make the season much more special

- get yourself a nice thick pair of socks that you will enjoy wearing during the winter

- dress warm. I have a special thermal set that I always put under my clothes. Avoid wearing jeans, for they will only make you freeze. Wear thick sweaters (I love cashmere, I bought one cheap in a second hand store), or long warm skirts or dresses (they make me feel girly and special during the cold time) remember, when you buy expensive, good quality clothes keep them in natural colors so they're universal and timeless. Remember: the time of cute outfits is over, now we're in the survival mode

- you can add yourself some color with pretty gloves and hats. I love wearing slavic scarves during the winter to honor my heritage

- when buying a shower gel, perfume, shampoo or body lotion peak smells that remind you of winter. I go for mandarine/ orange scents 😊🍊

- drink vitamin c in the morning!!!

- choose a thicker cream for your face, nothing water-based. Your skin needs special care and protection during the winter. I have an acne prone, oily skin, and I still choose thicker creams, so don't be afraid to do the same. My go-to for winter is a levera cream for sensitive skin and a black cumin seed oil. I also like products from PinusVital.

- uv still exists during winter so don't forget a sunscreen!

- decorate your apartment, room or house with winter decor. I'd defiently focus more on winter related things since they will last until March. Christmas things tend to be thrown away much quicker after Christmas. There's so many cute ideas!

- get yourself a sun clock. It's a lamp you put by your bed, which imitates the sunshine. It's especially useful in early mornings since we humans aren't programmed to be waking up in full darkness. It helps to wake up your body :)

- get yourself a bunch of candles and light them in the evening. Element of fire has always been crucial for our ancestors during these trying times

- every single week plan to do something new. It can be finding a new song or new album, going to a restaurant or a coffee shop you've never been to before, learning something new, visiting a place you haven't seen yet, trying out a new recipe, even taking a different rode back from work/school, write a new poem, start a new book, watch a new movie, keep yourself entertained by little things

- out of the same principle, try to redecorate or change placement of furniture from time to time. Our brains get easily bored and especially during winter it can be very depressing. Brains need the change to stay healthy and fit

- especially during cold times, a community is really important. Even if you're an introverted person, it doesn't mean you should stay alone all the time. Humans are social beings, and we need contacts to one another. During winter months and long evenings, loneliness can be very hard. Try looking for a local book club or knitting club or any other club you'd enjoy. Download Bumble BFF it's an app that helps you to find friends! Volunteer at your local senior house or even your local dog shelter. Being constantly alone has literally never done anyone any good.

- burn incenses to boost energies in your household (any time it's needed, of course if you believe in stuff like this :) ) I recommend orange incense (brings luck and happiness)

- spend time outside. During the week I barely have time but every weekend I try to go on a walk possibly out in the nature. Your mental state regulates this way. Just 15 minutes of walk outside each day can boost your mood. Believe me, it comes from a person who struggled a lot with depressions.

- don't forget to eat well. You burn more calories during the winter because your body uses lots of energy to keep itself warm. Eat regular, well-balanced food portions. I love vegetarian food magazines that offer amazing seasonal recipes, so you cook with vegetables and fruits that actually grow during the winter. I think it adds more magic and meaning to the season to cook with seasonal food.

- wake up early. And early can be different for every person, but sleeping in every day is not proven to be healthy. Sleeping in causes chronic diseases, slows down your metabolism, and can cause social problems. Of course, there's nothing wrong with having one slower day, but having a crazy sleeping schedule can get you in sleep debt that will not result in anything productive.

- pick projects you want to accomplish during winter like for example my projects are: learn about local birds and mammals, make a little house in my local forest, learn how to diy fairy houses, learn how to knit :)

❄️Remember that winter time is the time to slow down and relax. Look around at nature and see how everything is seemingly dead and waiting for the spring. Don't worry if you're not being great all the time or constantly achieving new milestones because it's totally fine to calm down after many months of work. I know that the capitalism convinced us that we should always work, no matter what, but I just want you to remember that nature intended otherwise and of you're more tired and sleepy during these months that's totally normal. Just be kind to yourself.❄️

[silenthillmutual]

ongoing list of fics i enjoyed (current fandoms only) [so silent hill + bloodborne + pathologic]

i have not read every fic in the tag.

silent hill

1994 (T, 4k; TheIcyQueen); sh2 The town calls to people in its own way, managing to lure them in, more often than not. That isn't to say that its methods are unchanging, though--oh no. Silent Hill has many ways and many faces, and no two of its visitors will ever see it in quite the same light. A little peek into how the town might look for the characters of SH2.

art therapy (M, ongoing; stormyshark); harry/james An on-parole James Sunderland meets struggling single father Harry Mason in group art therapy. Takes place six years after the events of SH1 and SH2.

Box of Ash-turned Thoughts (T, <1k; Goldenocturne); alessa/claudia In here lies a collection of discarded emotions.

Complexities (T, 4k; bumblepuppy) eileen/henry Kind of sequel to Field of View. Eileen's straight up not having a good time.

familiarity (M, 5k; iwaslikenope); alex/travis Travis Grady encounters a familiar face in the same, familiar place. As it turns out, not everything familiar is a good thing - but maybe this time around he doesn't have to go through it alone.

It's time to let go.

Halogen Lamp (G, <1k; PhantomPiano); james She crawled out of the lake today.

Hanged Man (T, 4k; benignmilitancy); sh3 "We are all helpless without Her mercy." SH3 one-shot.

If Time Doesn't Heal Wounds, I'll Staple Them Together (G, 1k; orphan_account) harry & heather It's been six years since he escaped Silent Hill. An innocent question makes him realize he might not have moved on as well as he thought.

In This Silent Heaven (T, <1k; iwaslikenope); james/mary Three years long gone, and she sent me a letter.

It'll Last Longer (T, 4k; fret); eileen/henry Three pictures Henry takes of Eileen, and one that Eileen takes of him.

like nails in my feet (T, 1k; Riona); james/mary Maybe this is a love story that was doomed from the start.

Outbreak (M, 61k; UnlikeClockwork) "In memory of the sixty seven who died of illness and now sleep beneath the lake." -The Rosewater Memorial in Silent Hill The town of Silent Hill has long been known for strange events. In 2016, a virulent illness tears through the town, progressing rapidly through an array of horrific symptoms before the patients die. Worse, it has no identifiable cause. Epidemiologist Anna Garcia is sent to record everything she can about the sickness, in the hopes of tracing it to some point of origin, or discover something to combat it. She finds far more to the history of the town and its strange past.

Performative (T, 2k; 0plus2equals1, weatomicchildren); maria Maria is a walking, talking identity crisis. James is her audience of one. (Short fic exploring Maria's experiences in the main game.)

Restless Dreaming (T, <1k; TheIcyQueen); james/mary You'd do anything to see her again--anything. But have you looked right in front of you, James? Or behind you?

See? I'm Real. (T, 1k; TheIcyQueen); maria She wakes up cold and alone, with silence and memory lurking just outside of her periphery. She has to stay, despite her fear and her dread--she has to wait, to be patient, to just believe. Because she knows he's coming for her.

But he's looking for the her that isn't her at all.

Shadows And Fog (T, 3k; kcstories); dale cooper [twin peaks crossover] Whilst investigating a mysterious disappearance, Special Agent Dale Cooper finds himself in a strange, deserted town. (Twin Peaks/Silent Hill crossover)

swan song of the red god (T, 3k; larkspear); heather Heather becomes something she never wanted to be OR After all this time the town doesn't let her go OR Silent Hill dies, and maybe that's a good thing.

Wife | Mary Shepherd Sunderland (T, 1k; glitchbunni); james & mary Even so, I'm glad to be coming home. I've missed you terribly.

you (NR, <1k; goshozome); henry & walter you aren't a people person.

bloodborne

Ave Maria (T, 3k; xeboot); doll/maria After her defeat within The Hunter’s Nightmare, Maria awakens in place that she finds strangely familiar. She also finds herself conversing with something that is so disconcertingly similar to herself.

Charade (M, 5k; SassyCephalopod); laurence & micolash & gehrman Before the schism of the School of Mensis from the Healing Church, Micolash hunts for answers about what happened on the night Laurence and Gehrman beckoned the moon. He follows the trail of influence Gehrman left behind deep into the Vicar’s subconscious, through dreams of the shared stages of their lives. What exists at the end of their charade may be the knowledge he seeks, or it could be the undoing of them all.

cupio, careo (E, 4k; 0plus2equals1); hunter/valtr The hunter is having a hard time adjusting to being the new Leader of the League.

Do hunters dream of electric beasts? (E; sugarboat); alfred/hunter The Hunter finds an unopened summons to the forsaken Castle Cainhurst, and has more than the expected troubles locating its intended recipient.

Dressing for a Funeral (G, 4k; aurillium); gehrman & laurence On the colour red, and the first signs of the scourge.

EYE OF A BLOOD-DRUNK HUNTER (M, >1k; kirkhammer) It is a fate no hunter can escape

facile oceanum (T, 2k; 0plus2equals1); kos/maria Lady Maria is trapped within an aimless nightmare. She goes to Kos while her consciousness still remains.

Hide Your Face from Prophecy (T, 5k; Karanca); caryll & micolash [On the voices of the Great Ones and how they manifest, c. 1862]

In darkest shades (E, 2k; retrospectral); gascoigne/hunter It is not a conventional relationship you have with him; still, you find solace in familiarity.

Necrophoresis (T, 8k; SynthWave); laurence/micolash The clock is ticking. Micolash seeks Laurence after an experiment goes awry, but the Vicar is not as composed as he'd hoped.

Nietzsche is angry with me (M, 5k; captainjackspearow) "An eye bubbles to the forefront of the forehead. There is no face, just an amalgam of pain set upon a limp, dangling body.

Oh, she notes, blankly, as her vision begins to cloud-

-I’m beginning to see things."

of the beholder (E, 1k; retrospectral) gascoigne/hunter It’s obscene, truly, that a man like him should be brought to heel in such a way.

o, galatea (G, 2k; talionprinciple) He scrabbles at the stone beside her, bent over like a man gutted, scratching feebly, digging at nothing. At length he crumples to the ground, letting out a wounded, animal groan.

"...You are my punishment."

A Schism (T, 4k; Karnaca); laurence/micolash [A selection of letters exchanged between the Vicar of the Healing Church and the Headmaster of Mensis, 1875-1880]

Song of Blood (NR, 2k; happywalrider); gascoigne/viola Oh, to be sick on blood, like a hunter lusting for a hunt.

weep with them, as one in a trance (M, 3k; Azrioael) On a cold beach, Laurence and his associates parse through the guts of a god to find promises of divinity.

Maria begins to harbour doubt.

pathologic (starts here; below are newer)

and here it is (our final night alive) (T, 2k; Talinor) Worn and defeated by the trials of the Pest and those behind it, Daniil stays in the Cathedral.

Ce Verre Levé aux Prêtresses de Cypris ! (E, 2k; Creaturial); eva/yulia Eva invites herself in, welcomed without asking, slipping through like light. She brings her affinity for velvet and silk, for the twirls of incense, for the greens of twyrine; she brings her empyreal glow that fills Yulia’s house like a heart with blood. She likes Yulia's silver, pale hands on her hallowed, supernal skin; Yulia likes her solar touch, her constellations-eyes. They like to learn from each other — and quite a few more things.

Filling His Shoes (By Asking Them Nicely, Not By Cutting Off Your Toes) (G, 4k; omnipah) Observation: The Burakh family house is laid out incomprehensibly. Observation: Houses take after their owners, both in function and personality. Observation: Artemy’s arc is about not taking after his father, and instead forging his own path and deciding what it means to be himself. Conclusion: Artemy’s household is not shaped the same way as Isidor’s household.

Grief's Rehearsal (T, 4k; visceralVastation); artemy/daniil On paper, Artemy Burakh was no stranger to loss, having lost not only his brother at a young age, but also personally witnessed what felt like a veritable myriad of deaths during his service as a field medic. The death of his father was another story, only sinking in at a moment where he glimpses joy for the first time since returning home.

remind me of who you are (G, 1k; 4wholecats); kain family “I’ll miss you,” he tries again, louder. “And Victor. Mother and father too, of course.” “You said you weren’t going anywhere.” “I ought to say it. Just in case.”

Shedding Skin (M, 70k; Plaguedboar); artemy/daniil “He wounds, Cub. You are aware of that.”

“Yes. But he also heals. What we saw of him back then was also a reflection of us. He became what he needed to be in order to do his duties. We were hostile to one another, Stakh. Imagine how it was for us and how it was for an outsider… how it still is for an outsider.” Artemy looked down. It’s been months since the plague ended and still others treated Dankovsky like a stranger. He treated himself as a stranger. Calling him any other thing would have felt disingenuous... but it still felt wrong.

“Of course. Humans need to adapt to their surroundings to live and survive. But snakes do not adapt when their skins shed, nor do they become anew. They become more of what they already are.” Rubin spoke slowly, choosing his words with either care or caution while looking at Daniil’s signature coat on the rack.

sons of the commandment (T, 2k; actualkoschei); daniil & rubin There is no rest for Shabbat in the middle of a plague. No rest for the righteous or the wicked, or for Daniil Dankovsky or Stakh Rubin.

tempus edax rerum (T, 5k; Talinor); artemy/daniil Daniil Dankovsky doesn't have a firm grasp on time.

White Azaleas (T, 10k; LilliaLuna); capella, khan & notkin He does love her. Just… not as a husband should. Not how the husband of a Mistress should.

[elsfairy]

➝ 𝐏𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐓.

Sevika wasn't the one for music, or if she did then it would be calm, gentle tune of whatever. As much as she refuses to listen to music with you, she did enjoy being woken up by your soft choice of tune. It calmed her.

❝You're playing again?❞

For the longest time, you've not played. Not because it bored you, but because shit, you can't even handle half the songs you play because they are just so emotional. You always adored how happy she became whenever you would play, she was literally a child on Christmas.

❝mhm, will you come sit? i want you to play with me❞

Her nerves got worse whenever you asked her to come and play with you. She knew that you loved the piano, and the last thing she wanted to do was fuck up something you really enjoyed playing. You've not asked many people to sit, and play but you would do literally anything just for her to join you.

❝You want me to play? Heh, Sugar you know that's a bad idea❞

❝Vika, I'm not asking you to jump into a pit of spiders. I just love sitting with you, and playing. I will teach you. Nothing wrong with wanting to sit with my girlfriend, playing music is there?❞

She really did not want to fuck up a song you really loved. You had many, but you could always see the hesitation in her eyes. She was more of a listener, and just enjoying. Really, you just found it adorable when she would pout involuntary, taking a seat beside you without another word. Still nervous.

❝They are just keys, not rabid dogs. Calm down. You don't have to worry. If you mess up, we try again❞

Her hands were much bigger than yours, we all know this, but they looked perfect for this. You also just loved touching her, so guiding her hand where she was needed made you happy. Being able to relax without having to murder someone really helped her. Right now, she looked and felt content.

❝I'm going to fuck this up, i really like the way you play⎯❞

❝You aren't going to fuck anything up. You've played with me before, this is just like last time. Just put your hand⎯ there, good girl. I'm still here to guide you if you get confused❞

The feeling of her rough hands in yours always gave you a warm feeling. It was home. Although she always tried to distract you by randomly, abruptly holding onto your hand. If it was anyone else you would have lost your shit, but you loved Sevika. Just seeing her so into your hobby, and enjoying herself made you happy.

❝What's wrong? why are you look at me like that? did i do it wrong⎯❞

❝Just never seen anyone look so beautiful while playing Beethoven before❞

All of the compliments you've given her always made her flustered. They always did something to her. After not having them for so many years then for her to be called beautiful daily by you, made her so small. Also, the shy smile on her face melted your heart.

After a few moments, and after watching you play for so many years she sort of got an understanding of what the fuck to do. Still needed a little bit of your help, but for the most part she was a natural.

❝Is this your way of telling me that you were secretly a pianist before?❞

❝Not quite, Sweetheart. I just have a great teacher❞

Your shared home was never dull. You were still surprised when it was Sevika waking you up by the song you loved dearly, but you were warm. Aware that your mornings and evenings would be filled with just utter peace, love and happiness. Who needs drama when your girlfriend begs to play the piano with you?

Her fingers always tread lightly over the keys, because they meant a lot to you. She was gentle with something you treasured so much. She also didn't want to see you cringe if she pressed too hard. You were in love with her, and a piano. She can't have your heart break at all.

Watching her was your second favourite part of any day. Just seeing her happy, was enough for you to feel okay. She never seems to fail at making you feel giddy. Only has to look at you, and you're falling in love all over again. Or when she holds your hand, kissing your knuckles, that made you melt. But the smile on her lips, the blush on her cheeks when she looks at you? Fuck she's beautiful.

❝Will you teach me another?❞

❝I'll teach you whatever you want Darling❞

[z-mizcellaneous-z]

Alright, Zay, first! How are you? Hope you're doing good!! ✨️

Second, for the ship ask, how about SeroRoki?

heyo kiya! i am surprisngly alive (i stayed up until 5 am rereading fanfics and then my mom woke me up at 8 am to help with breakfast lol). hope that you're doing well <33 /p

and now:

SEROROKI

Who’s the cuddler?

Todoroki, 100%. Once he is first exposed to physical affection (platonic in the beginning with friends and whatnot) he begins to crave it constantly. He's actually insatiable. When him and Sero get together and Sero is like "oh yeah i dont mind physical affection" Todoroki basically fuses with him at that point, clinging onto Sero like a koala almost 24/7.

Who makes the bed?

Todoroki. I like to think he's a very tidy person who can very easily fall into certain routines. Sero on the other hand has the take of "im gonna mess it up again anyways, why bother".

Who wakes up first?

I'd say Sero. I feel like he'd be the type to have a sleep schedule so fucked up that he'd find himself waking up pretty early. He also likes to wake up before Todoroki when they're sleeping in the same room together to shamelessly stare at Todoroki (his gaze is still a bit too intense for Sero to stare into for long periods of times, so he enjoys these quiet moments of tender fondness).

Who has the weird taste in music?

Todoroki. His playlist is literally any and every song anyone from class 1a has mentioned ever, which leads to going from a sad heartbreak song to screaming for three solid minutes.

Who is more protective?

They're equally protective of each other, though Sero is more protective in the emotional "protecting your feelings/heart from the cruelty of others" aspect, while Todoroki is more protective in the physical "protecting you from bodily harm" aspect.

Who sings in the shower?

Sero. I'd like to think he's a pretty decent singer, but doesn't like to show it off at all. Except with Todoroki, of course. During some of their cuddling sessions, Sero will hum random songs that always have a very soothing effect on Todoroki.

Who cries during movies?

Sero. Todoroki would be the type to go "they aren't real people, so these experiences aren't either. there's no need to get upset" while Sero sobs over Bambi's mom.

Who spends the most while out shopping?

Todoroki. He's filthy rich AND the youngest. Man has little to no sense of what is considered too expensive; he simply finds the highest possible quality product and buys it.

Who kisses more roughly?

Sero. I think in terms of kissing and any more "heated" aspects of physical affection, Sero is much more intense with it, while Todoroki's just trying his best to not accidentally set off his quirk.

Who is more dominant?

Sero. What about him *gestures at Todoroki* tells you that he'd top/dominate ever?

My rating of the ship from 1-10.

Even though they don't have that many moments in canon, their dynamic in canon-compliant things is so

SEND ME A SHIP AND ILL TELL YOU:

[desolateice]

fanfic ask for umibudo!

Send me a fic of mine and I'll answer...

Thank you for your patience. I wanted to re-read the fic before answering, which I did with the others, this one just took longer. I've put it all under the read more.

My favorite scene

So many. But probably after Johnny nearly drowns and Chozen is lying in the tide having given up and waiting to turn into seafoam and just sobbing into the sand, covered in sand and Johnny's like I'm right here and has to drag him away from the tide, talking to Chozen and Chozen hasn't realized Johnny is up and okay-ish but sobbing because Chozen's magic (siren song) is just so heartbreaking that he can't stop crying and it's some world building with the ningyo abilities and he's like why are you crying about your bride? Aren't I your bride? I nearly drowned pay attention to me. And Johnny's actually asking for attention that he wants and he gets it. Which is, for this story, huge for him.

My favorite chapter (if it's a multichapter)

The chapters about Johnny nearly drowning. chapter 14 and 15. 15 has one of my favorite dialogues between kid Johnny and his mom ['she' in this case is the little mermaid]:

“She’s dead! That’s what people say about dead people! That they’re still here but not here. You said that about Dad!” It’d been maybe one of her worse lies, when she’d been tired of answering his questions about when Dad would come back and where he was, so she pulled out the adult favorite: “He’s on a farm up north, running wild and free with the other farm animals.” He wasn’t dead. He was just gone.

Plus in this chapter Johnny realizes he can be vulnerable and also rely on Chozen in difficult situations. And how much Chozen cares for him truly sinks in.

And Chozen continues to realize that him being a ningyo is only an issue in Tomi Village. Everywhere else he's respected, so when people find him people instantly realize he's a ningyo with an injured bride and take care of them. Which just sort of stuns Chozen. But to them a ningyo is good luck. So of course they're going to put Johnny and Chozen up in a hotel room and run out to get them clothes and find their car and do this team effort to help because goodness, when was the last time anyone had seen a ningyo? And one so upset with an injured bride? Gotta help out.

Hardest scene to write

Johnny nearly drowning. I kept trying to figure out when it was going to happen. I knew it would but I didn't want it to be too early or too late. I wanted it to happen in a cave but I realized the island famous for caves they'd already passed, so it was a lot of reworking logistics and their plans. I rewrote it a couple of times. And while I felt like Chozen could protect Johnny I wanted it to show that he didn't really know how to properly pay attention to a human. Like humans have to breathe so you have to pay attention to water level and tidal waves and stuff and just because you can dive in and save someone doesn't mean you can skip learning CPR for if they were in the water longer than you thought or in a way you couldn't get to. It was like a wake up call Chozen needed to have. Plus I wanted an excuse for Chozen to go feral. What worked, which I don't know if people caught, was that Chozen moved Johnny without realizing it into a recovery position. Meanwhile on Johnny's end he really just wanted someone to care in a visible way. He hadn't gotten that after Kreese had hurt him. He'd been saved but then kinda just had to get up and move on and it's been hurting, but Chozen is so upset because it's him and he cares so much and Johnny needed that. He needed to be precious to someone. I also wanted to explain with the flashback why it's important to Johnny. Not just that feeling but also he had this deep love for fairy tales and Chozen is a fairy tale. I'd hinted at it before but then it became this deeper thing. He didn't want the beast to become human, he didn't understand why anyone would hate him. He didn't want the mermaid to turn into seafoam. He wanted magic to be real and he wanted to rewrite it and here is a merman that loves him upset and like 'let me turn into seafoam' and that snaps straight through to that deep set feeling and he's like nope. The other thing was trying to find places for Johnny to help facilitate Sato and Mr. Miyagi's interaction but there was no basis for it. Johnny didn't know Mr. Miyagi and he's a teen. What's he going too do for this old feud? Straight off a plane? Not happening. And not his job. So sending him a way was more fun for me and better for Chozen and Johnny. Oh also the shells in Johnny's hair. I decided really early on that they'd stay there via magic and mean Johnny was a ningyo bride, but it didn't work with Johnny going home and finishing school. So I had to change it but I kept trying to find spots for it and it just didn't work till the end.

Favorite character to write in the fic

Probably Chozen. Chozen being a mermaid was so much fun because I got to take things from canon and weave okay what if he was a mermaid? into it. How can I take the falling out between our Mr. Miyagi and Sato and twist it to fit the monster narrative? Oh also Sato and Mr. Miyagi's bickering in the background. Mostly Sato, it was a lot of fun to just make him very yandere. He loves Mr. Miyagi but he can't let himself relax because he feels like he'll instantly turn into sea foam if Mr. Miyagi doesn't return any care whatsoever, so he just calls Mr. Miyagi Coward but still follows him around, and still has fun, but he's like grumpy the whole time because he can't turn into Seafoam before Miyagi sensei passes or before Chozen is set up. But Nariyoshi Miyagi just keeps realizing how in love kid Sato was with him, because he kept offering him things, following ningyo courting culture but without explaining it and Sato hates that Nariyoshi realizes and remembers it. (But they get a happy little threesome with Yukie)

Favorite dynamic to write in the fic

Chozen in fish brain mode and how Johnny sort of realizes it. Everything is logical for Chozen but also illogical. And when it gets super strong Johnny is there to keep him from going into the sea or trying to logic with him or to carry him if he can't change out of his ningyo form.

Like the original one which was Johnny getting Chozen clothes but Chozen seeing a bed and assuming something else. Or when they go swimming and Chozen's delighted then realizes he forgot to ask Johnny if he can swim and is like ah man I'm going to have to get my bride some arm floaties.

Why I chose that title

A lot of this fic takes place in Okinawa and if I have an Okinawan heavy fic I try and pick foods from Okinawa. Umibudo are sea grapes, a type of seaweed that I tried on a visit and I thought would be fitting for a mermaid fic because it's food from the sea, a little salty and surprising but also delicious.

A fun fact about the fic

I did so much research that didn't get used. So when I write about Okinawa I generally dig around online for things and then have to go back and see when they were created. For example some places in Okinawa you can get to by bridge now, but in the 80's those bridges didn't exist, so I had to figure out alternative ways for them to get there, which generally was a plane or a ferry, especially for the smaller southern islands. I researched love hotels in general, and the history of condoms in Japan, apparently there used to be door to door sales people who'd come into your home and sell housewives condoms. And it was just considered the norm. Like condom use was higher in Japan then it was in the USA and I had to figure out okay then is Chozen more likely to use condoms and if so what brands? Which led to researching brands of condoms in the 80s in Japan to hope that those filtered to Okinawa. And I thought about having Chozen looking for brands he recognized in the states, one of the factories of a brand used in Japan in the 80s is in Newark. Did I end up using any of that? No. Also tried to research common lube brands in the 80s Japan which more or less just taught me that you can make lube out of seaweed. (maybe they'll try it lol, knowing them, maybe that's why Chozen spends so much time in the sea, harvesting seaweed to make homemade lube ) Tried for toys too because I was going to try and put some in the love hotel. But didn't know what would've been available. I also read a lot of books about marine life because I wanted Chozen to have different marine life characteristics and to have some comparisons. (and to use as references) I watched this horror movie a while ago where one of the heroines drops this 'fact' that turtles have sex for a long time, but I couldn't find anything to support that. (I had a similar issue with 'body wash therapy' which I'd read about somewhere once but couldn't find again, but it could've been a mistranslated) So I tried sea horses and other marine life and ended up just reading a whole lot of random books. Which I do this frequently and have been thinking about sharing what books I read for research with which fics. But for Umibudo I read:

The Curious World of Seahorses: The life and Lore of a marine Marvel by Till Hein (which wasn't quite what I wanted but I learned how difficult it is to raise seahorses)

Kings of Their Own Ocean: Tuna, Obsession, and the Future of Our Seas by Karen Pinchin

The Dragon Behind the Glass: A True Story of Power, Obsession, and the World's Most Coveted Fish by Emily Voigt

There was also a lot of research onto where I'd get excited about something and then realize it was the wrong season since they were in Okinawa in January.

[turmoilcity]

HELLO!!! 😍 do you have like "theme songs" for your paras? i have way too many lmao so i'm curious

Sleep is for the weak.

YESSSSSSSSS!!!

Finally, a reason to ramble bout my paras!

Okay, so THIS VERSION

Plays out like a montage for Lillian and Oscar when they're out at the park or walking around the mall.

IMAGINE. the year is 2006- YES A Y2K AU IS WHAT IVE BEEN SLURPING UP LATELY.

Lillian is the sweet, bubbly cheerleader, Oscar's on the football team. They met at practice one evening and make googly eyes at each other across the field. This song plays when they start talking, hanging out like going to the movies, or to a park, or to an arcadia and crap buuuuuuuuuut this version plays-

At the end of the montage because it cuts to Lillian smiling all dazed at one of those old music stores that used to be in every mall?

One of those types!

So the daydream cuts to "The La's- There she goes" by the end of the song and it sounds kind of warped and the camera is pulling out of Lillian’s face as she's grinning with headphones on and that's the sound coming from the headphones before she takes them off because it turns out to be bothered by her friends because LIKE EVERY ROM COM MUSIC TRANSITION EVER we were just getting a pov of her happy place.

I love those two horny angels

Okay, next isssssss

SONG FOR BELLA

Often, I imagine her as a drummer. This song is one of those songs I imagine her SCREAMING with her awesome, awesome girl band.

This is currently for Dylan, and I will not elaborate.

Lillian on the subject of love basically.

The daydreams usually bright and colorful and fast paced. She has so many iconic looks during this song its criminal.

JENNAS WORK OUT SONG.

Everytime before it starts, I imagine GAME (the agency she works for) goes to her telling her they need her for a "special mission". The issue is, for some reason, Jenna hasn't been using her powers for a while. Usually because she's in Townsville for another mission and has to disguise her special abilities.

The song starts with her being kind of rough with her skill. She's struggling to get up early. Her grades aren't the prettiest. She's dropping weights. She gets the pokey pokey during fencing, and karate lands her on her butt.

Usually, by the first pre chorus she decides to pull out the textbooks, and start from there. She's focusing on her study and then by the chorus she gets a paper back in class with an A+

BY THE SECOND VERSE, she's in the gym. She's doing those rope things

Awe yeah. Now she's getting into it. She's punching the punching bag, deadlifting the squats, perfecting her sword swing

WAKING UP ON TIME FOR PRACTICE.

By the second pre- chorus her fencing has gotten so good, the opponent who first tagged her, gets tagged

And when her opponent takes off their mask, first she looks all out of breath, sweaty and taken aback, but then she gives an equally out of breath, sweaty, Jenna a smile of sportsman ship.

Now Jenna is stepping her game up.

The study is more extreme, but she can handle it as a hyper focused superhuman. The workouts are more extreme as well. She's lifting impossible weights, her fighting is more fluid and agile. She's become the epitome of hard work. Until the last chorus

"So you say I'm complicated...."

She's outside, in a sports bra and shorts. You can see the puff of her breath as she stretches. It's an easy cool, gray morning.

"But you had me underrated..."

She's hooking something up to the front of train rails.

The daydream cuts to a kid playing outside by themselves. He's boredly sucking on a lolipop. The ground is suddenly shaking, startling the kid. When the child looks over their shoulder-

ITS JENNA

PULLING THE TRAIN UP A HILL WITH HER THIGHS.

She's tied some sort of indestructible ROPE from her thighs to the trains front and is walking the train up.

The kid has a moment like the one little boy from incredibles

And yeah. Jenna... WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PULLING TRAINS WITH UR LEGS.

Cause she's dedicated to quality

Duh. Don't let her simple looks fool you. She is 💯 THAT BITCH.

Anyways, she acknowledges the kid, gives an awkward wave before turning the train around and racing it down the hill, pulling it backwards.

It's just another training day for Jenna. Jenna probably thinks, "Well, does the kid want heroes or not?"

The rest of the song is just her doing more insane stuff and yeah. I desperately need sleep c:

[studentlifesworld]

I care actually.

About all these seemingly cringe things and the thing is, they aren't cringe or extra to me. I only say they are because that's what I see on social media sometimes. But to me they aren't.

I make a big deal about how my body looks, I really do, and this is not me trying to go against what body positivity stands for. No. I like working out, cause I feel good and my body looks good.

I care about my grades, a lot. And yes, grades don't define me or my worth. But you know what, I like being smart, I like working hard to earn a good grade.... And you know what, it doesn't feel odd or extra, it's just how I am.

When I study I like to play something that I have watched before for background noise, probably a kdrama(I have watched True beauty so many times, I can complete the characters sentences by now). But on most days of focused studying, I like to play a specific song in a hour loop. It's often this song from a Chinese drama sound track or some Japanese beats.

And I care about these things.

I wake up between 5:30 and 6am on most days, (sometimes I stay up too late reading some random manhua I stumbled upon). And I make a big deal out of this because I work best in the morning. And that's just how I am.

Reading and studying comes easy to me, and I am still getting used to that, because sometimes I feel like things need to be hard for them to be meaningful (that's how I ended up in course I didn't really like, but convinced myself it was okay because it was hard, thankfully I dropped out and got into something else).

I care about art, I often stop and just look at how beautiful architecture is and take a picture or make a short video. I care about poetry, I have one too many pins and screenshots on my phone, I bought two books with just poems in them.

I love art, as in drawings and paintings. I am leaning how to sketch at the moment. And I don't do this for the aesthetics (okay, maybe like 5% lol). I do this cause it feels good, life makes sense like this.

I care about flowers, I love flowers, I buy them when I have money. I take pictures when I am broke.

I don't drink coffee, it gives me an upset stomach for some reason. I am Lacoste intolerant, so there is a limited number of dairy products that I can consume in limited amounts that don't have me running to the bathroom.

I care about music, movies, books and how beautiful sunrises and sunsets are. I complete 1 or 2 journals a year. I write a lot , I feel like if I don't empty my mind I might go crazy.

I care about the "that girl lifestyle". Simply because I am firm believer that life should be lived in the most romantic way ever, but then again,it's your choice.

I care about all these seemingly random things and I feel okay if it seems odd or extra to the next person, we are wired differently.

And I know, some years from now, my interests might or might not change. But until then I am very cool with being me, this aesthetic loving, study motivated, tea drinking girl. I really like it.

.....

[fandomfluffandfuck]

i know imagining animatics/fanvids set to songs is a time-tested fandom tradition, and i vaguely remember that you talked about having playlists dedicated to characters, so i wanted to ask: do you have any songs in particular that inspires you to translate it into a different medium? (not necessarily for fic purposes)

like for example i recently listened to gravity by john mayer (the lyrics is so stucky-coded, which you know, ouch) and i'm vividly imagining making a stopmotion thing with paperdolls that have movable joints flat on the table, a snowy sky as the background, the bucky doll falling in slow motion (as the background streaks red) while we see the form of a chair slowly becoming visible at the bottom of the screen... and then it switches to a parallel scene where the steve doll's falling with the pieces of the triskelion floating in midair. then as he crashes into the river we see the bottom of it is the waterlogged version of the room he wakes up in the future, and as he lands on the bed it freezes him ❄ the frost spreads and spreads, until it reaches the other doll being held in its own cold prison, serving as a tomb where he slumbers ❄

...wish i knew how to outline things properly and break tasks down into manageable chunks lol, but it is very fun to think about making art! (but actually following thru ambitious projects is 😭)

I think you'll enjoy this post

Also, this post

I 👏🏻 LOVE 👏🏻 THIS 👏🏻 QUESTION 👏🏻

As far as imagining fics based on songs, you can very much see that I do that to some degree with the amount of fics I have that use song lyrics as titles, lol. But when that happens, it's not so much about hearing a song and then coming up with a fic concept based on the song, usually, I have the fic written, then a song comes on shuffle and I go Oh! Oh, This Is The Exact Vibe! This Song Has To Be The Title Now!

Your idea for the John Mayer song sounds beautiful and haunting, by the way! It perfectly fits that song! It would be truly, truly breathtaking. Just the idea in my imagination is breathtaking.

I have a vivid imagination, so usually when songs remind me of stucky and inspire me, I imagine fan edit type videos in my head. I don't know how to edit, though, and I have too many things going on to teach myself right now, so... they'll stay in my mind.

This got longer than I intended, lol

"What Was I Made For?" by Billie Eilish

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know but I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just something you paid for

What was I made for?

'Cause I, I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

When did it end? All the enjoyment

I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend

It's not what he's made for

What was I made for?

That song vividly, vividly shows me Steve--Steve before he encounters the Winter Soldier and really begins to make a life for himself in the 21st century. Aimlessly wandering around Brookyln. Staring out into space. Frowning. Wringing his hands. Trying to figure out how he feels and who he is now that he's woken again to a new world. There isn't a war. There aren't any people he knows. What does he do? Who is he?

I mean...

"In Over My Head" by Grandson

When I was nine, I'd make believe

The good guy always caught the thief

The room went dark and I couldn't sleep

I was in over my head

At 15, I would look around

And all my friends had it figured out

They all thought it, but they never said out loud

I was in over my head

Oh, I feel this vertigo

Sick of being an optimist

I'm trying, I'm trying

But I'm in over my head

I'm in over my head

...

I thought I'd make change happen overnight

I was 20, thought I had a good hold on life

Didn't know it at the time, I was not alright

I was in over my head

Now I'm pretty sure at 26

That it isn't gonna be some little fix

The game wasn't rigged by accident

I'm in over my head

This is another Steve song. I hear this song and I see an edit showing us Steve from the playground, squaring up with bullies twice his size, Steve as a teenager, getting in trouble with Sarah, giving her gray hairs, Steve as a young adult, getting in fights in alleys, enlisting illegally, Steve in the military, standing up to his superiors, then Steve post-serum, post-war, entangled in his Captain America suit--watching the news after a mission, wading through the scene of a protest, frowning at his phone, opened to angry discussions on social media... he doesn't know what to do. He feels paralyzed.

(Also, "Left Behind" by Grandson also gives me MAJOR Steve vibes. He's stubborn. He cares so deeply about topics. All of that. I see Steve getting angry in that song, I see Steve crying with that song. <3)

"Black Vultures" by Halestorm

Black vultures circling the sky

Feels like the end of the world

But it's only the beginning of it all

Forget the things that you've heard

Been a survivor since I began to crawl

I'm falling down but I'm not out

The devils at my door

I don't give in, I don't give up

I won't ever let it break me

I'm on fire, I'm a fighter

I'll forever be the last one standing

Black vultures circling the sky

Pick at the pieces

Scavengers wait for me to die

But I'm not defeated

I'm on the edge of the war

I'm holding on and hanging by a thread

I am the eye of the storm

And you haven't seen the last of me just yet

This feeds my brain the idea of Bucky lying on his back on the ground, in the middle of fucking nowhere, a meadow that's muted and dulled. The sky is overcast. There are vultures and ravens flying overhead, circling, but also perched in trees at the outside of the meadow. He's exhausted. Worn thing. Greasy. Gritty. Bloody. He gets up, turning over to crawl, and eventually finds the strength to walk. To stagger. It cuts to black. And then there's a montage of destruction in the most beautiful way as he tears through HYDRA bases. Ending them.

"Devil In Me" by Halsey

I don't wanna wake it up

I don't wanna wake it up

I don't wanna wake it up

The devil in me

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up

Gotta wake up, come back to life

This is simple. At least, it feels that way to me, lol. It's purely Bucky. I see Bucky screaming, sweating, hair amess, after having a bad night, coming too close to horrifying memories through dreams, and trashing their [Steve's and his] bedroom. Thrusting the nightstand onto its side. Cracking the lamp. Ripping the sheets. Needing to do something. Squeezing his fists.

Finally, finally sinking down in the corner of the room to sob. Hands to his head, trembling. He sits there for who knows how long before Steve comes in and holds him. He tells him it's okay again and again and again. It is. They can replace everything. Sometimes you just need to get it out.

"Guilty (For Your Love)" by YONKA

You tripped on love, you got cut, you were bleeding

I carried you through the night, an emergency

I want to inhale your disease

I would do anything for you, I am guilty

I get goosebumps when you're near me

You're just like the movies

I am guilty for your love

...

I had monsters in my bedroom 'til you came along

You scared them off and kissed my head

Told me that they've all gone

You taught me how to stand up to my demons, that's real love

You been messed around so much, you forgot how to trust

Had the wool pulled over your eyes, but I ripped it off

I'm the pill you needed when you thought that you were all done

This is one million percent stucky in my head. I see so much with this song. I see them in war times, I see Steve getting up in a commanding officers face, throwing his own queerness in their face when the officer comes to deliver Bucky his blue slip. Yelling. Eyes lit with a challenge. They won't discharge Captain America. They couldn't. I see Bucky throwing himself in front of Steve. Blocking him from fire, from bullets, from danger and absolute death with his body. I see Steve taking the stand in Bucky's defense against the United Nations Court. They will only convict Bucky if it's over his dead body. I see Steve and Bucky lying in bed, sheets tangled, Steve's fingers tracing Bucky's jaw, his sharp cheekbones... yeah.

"Are You Really Okay?" by Sleep Token

Are you really okay?

You woke me up one night

Dripping crimson on the carpet

I saw it in your eyes

Cutting deeper than the scars could run

And don't you know

I can see it in you even now

And don't you know

I want to help you but I don't know how

And are you really okay? Yeah, yeah

Are you really okay?

And I, I cannot fix your wounds this time

But I, I don't believe you when you tell me you are fine

Please don't hurt yourself again

Just please don't hurt yourself again, oh

This song, depending on the mood I'm in when it comes on, flips back and forth between coming from Bucky's point of view, about Steve, or Steve's point of view about Bucky.

It's mostly the same either way, I see Bucky or Steve filling the role of the narrator in the song--waking up to see their partner bleeding, shaking, incoherent, and hurting. They're dazed. So hurt that they have a thousand yard stare and can't totally focus. The rest of the night is spent on the balcony of their apartment. Smoking a cigarette despite supposedly having quit, sharing it between them silently. When they slide back into bed at dawn, they're wrapped up so entirely in each other.

I hope you enjoyed my rambles, lol

[hogoshoku]

my feelings (okamoto hina; 25.03.2024)

my feelings #hinadaniblog; #okamotohina

25.03.2024

good evening.

born in aichi, japan, 20-years-old,

i am okamoto hina.

these days, i've been working hard, practicing for sailor moon every day~

this is roughly my first try in terms of acting, so there are many things that i don't understand, but challenging new things is really fun all the same.

[for] the 12th birthday live,

to everyone who came to the venue,

to everyone who watched the broadcast,

truly, thank you very much.

um. where should i even begin.

there are so many things i want to tell you about.

while we were preparing for the birthday live, i'd wake up, go to rehearsals, take a power nap at night and memorize the choreography every day. it was very challenging, and i genuinely don't think i would've been able to stand on that stage, if it hadn't been for the support of my family and genmates, senpais and staff-san alike.

the two of us were together almost every day 🐼

during the rehearsals, i practiced with the senpais every day, which helped the distance between us get shorter.

tamura-san stuck close to me.

she smells very nice ☘️

yuna-san told me, with an angelic smile,

"you're really beautiful, aren't you~ (◍´꒳`◍)" ah, there also was a moment [with yuna-chan], where i thought "i love you so much that i could cry~"

during 'jikochuu [de ikou!]', there's a part of the choreography that's meant to be performed in pairs, and i didn't have one, so yakubo-san and ayatii-san told me "it'd be lonely to do this [part of the choreography] by yourself, so let's do it together!"

when they told me that, i thought to myself that i, too, would like to be such a wonderful senpai.

they really are like an elder sister and a mother to me 🫣

thank you very much for the beautiful flowers (you prepared) for this time's live show, too. before the live starts, before i go up the stage, admiring (the flowers) is my routine. 🌼.*

i love them.

if i had to name any regrets [that i was left with after the live], i wish i would've been able to sing 'barrette' without crying. [in terms of this song,] i was teary-eyed ever since the rehearsals, but when the intro to it began playing and i was faced with the concert's psyllium-filled scenery, my tear glands broke down and i burst out crying..

this was a song by my favourite senpai, whom i admire.

when i thought that, thanks to many coincidences and miracles that happened all at once, i now stood on the stage that i had been longing for, my tears couldn't stop flowing.

i was thrilled with the costumes, too.

i found one of the heart petals that were used during the performance and had fallen on the floor, and i took it home really carefully-!!

someday, some other time.

i want to perform this song to my satisfaction.

furthermore, this was my first time performing 'against', which is a song i've always said i've loved.

i did my best to dance to this song, despite clinging to riria-chan in tears [during the rehearsals]... riria-chan taught me each step, one by one, with a smile on her face 🫶

recently, we made a promise to go out again together 🎀

having difficult choreography is an essential part of cool songs, isn't it~

i wanted to recreate the way everyone in 1kisei-san danced.

with that feeling in mind, i watched past videos [of this song being performed] over and over again.

i wonder how many more times i'll be able to perform 'against' while being part of nogizaka46.

i'd like to, many times over.

this is marika-san's costume 👗

i was thrilled from the moment i put my arms into the sleeves...!!

i'm really sorry that it ended up taking me so long to write this blog 😭

to the people who've prepared flowers. i'm truly sorry to have kept you waiting so long for photos [with them]... 😭

it's been some time now since i've returned [from my hiatus].

my body has started adapting to the tough schedules, and i'm a little proud of myself for working hard every day.

from now on too, i'll continue running up the slope

thank you very much for reading until the end!!

let's meet again

[cryptidsurveys]

Monday, October 28th, 2024.

Do you have any big plans for November? I don't have any big plans. It's pretty much just gonna be "the usual." Animal shelter. Trips to the Mountain Park (I want to get in as many as I can before it gets too snowy). I might go see a movie or do something for Thanksgiving with my mom. Oh, and even though I'm not much of a political person these days, I am curious to see the upcoming election results.

What upcoming event are you most looking forward to? I'm trying to hype myself up for Halloween night because I'm actually going to be handing out candy this year. The morning will most likely be spent at the shelter.

What was the last song you heard? Something classical.

Quote something from last night: I can't think of anything quotable. I can hardly even remember what I said.

What time did you wake up today? I woke up around 5:00am, but I didn't get out of bed and start getting ready until around 5:30am.

What does your last incoming text say? It was a cattery group text from Natasha saying, "Oops okay thank you." Two women came in again today after I left and were under the impression that we give cat carriers to adopters, which we do not do. Natasha was the one who told them that, based on her training from Alex. It all got cleared up, though!

Is there a vase in the room you’re in? I think there might be a couple on the counter in the master bathroom, but I don't pay much attention to what's in there because it's basically just a junk storage area at the moment. There aren't any on display in my actual room, though.

Any plans for today/this evening? I was at the shelter from 7:40am-12:00pm. Came home, showered, ate lunch, cleaned the upstairs bathroom, and now I'm here. I don't have any plans for the rest of the night.

Have you recently been insulted? No.

What is the radio in your car tuned to at this exact moment? CPR classical.

Compared to someone else of your age and gender; do you feel that you have a lot to offer someone? Uhhhm…I guess that depends on what you're looking for.

How many days a week do you work? Typically five. Friday-Tuesday.

Are there people you feel more connected to than others? Yeah. I feel the most connected to my dad. I also feel like I'm finally starting to connect more with people at the animal shelter. It's nice because I spent the past year or so feeling like a fringe outsider.

Is there ONE person you feel more connected to than others? Oh, I already answered this.

Are you more like your mother or your father? I'm more like my dad. I'm not completely unlike my mom, though. Sometimes I'll catch myself saying or doing something and I'll be like, "That was very mom of me." I can see some of her mannerisms, ect, coming out in my own self-expression.

Where did your eye color come from? My mom.

Describe the pants you are wearing: They're swishy black sweatpants with a pink and white stripe up the side. There's also a hole in the left knee area.

Have you ever been in a recording studio? No.

The myspace picture you’ve had up the longest? I have no idea. It's been years since I was last on Myspace. I still miss it and I'm still not over it. :'(

Are any of your myspace pictures alcohol related?

What is your worst relationship quality? It's been so long since I was last in a relationship that it's hard to say, but based on my interactions with other people, it's probably my tendency to be hurt by little things or to feel ostracized for no good reason. I take things too much to heart, assume I can't trust someone or be myself around them, clam up, and ultimately push them away (sometimes quietly, sometimes messily).

What was your most recent serious injury? I've never had a serious injury.

What were you most recently happy about? Becoming the designated spider bouncer at the shelter. There was a big'un in the bathroom this morning. Not as big as the one we saw on the laundry room wall a few months ago, but probably the second biggest I've encountered there so far. Paris was even like, "I don't mean to sound pathetic, but could you please check cat ISO for me and make sure there are no spiders in there?" ;D

Are you happy with the way the Yankees are playing?

Are you a fan of cake? Yesss. I'm a fan of desserts and baked goods in general.

What shirt have you not worn in a while that you would like to? I have this orange one with a cat sitting on a crescent moon that I might wear for Halloween.

When was the last time you were hit on? No idea.

What is the next concert you are going to and where are you seeing it?

Name someone you know who is most likely to be found at a bar on Wednesday night? Paris…? Maybe not on a Wednesday night because I don't know her schedule, but in addition to working as a vet tech, she's also a bartender.