#but they are going to help me find places I would feel comfortable with

[21280]

mha reactions to their kid being disrespectful towards their mom ?

mom! reader, girl dads! tdbkdk, inspired by the newest scenes i had to witness of my little cousin this holiday season. i can't use my childhood because i met 'mr belt' and i never misbehaved since.

IZUKU MIDORIYA as . . . the nice cop.

— izuku would probably be gentle with his parenting, and that's why he's in this situation in the first place. he's the type of parent that tries to reason with his child with a very nice voice, which ends up accidentally raising a manipulative child. even so, he'll never raise his voice towards his child, but he'll definitely get more serious. especially if she's being disrespectful towards his wife.

it was a tranquil sunday afternoon, where you and your family had visited izuku's mother for lunch. excited for the community pool, your daughter went dressed in her green sundress and her little mermaid swimsuit underneath. her smile dropped when she heard the news.

"i'm sorry, sweetie, the pool is closed!" you frowned, to which your daughter started crying. trying to comfort her, you guided her towards the bathroom to change clothes. what you weren't expecting though, was...

"don't touch me! leave me alone, you witch!"

izuku had never sprinted towards you faster in his life, eyes widened in disbelief. he lowered down to his daughter's height, as he called her attention. "hey kiddo, you didn't really mean that, right?"

your daughter nodded, "mommy won't let me go to the pool" she cried. "she's mean and a witch!"

izuku sighed as he patted his daughter's head, ruffling her hair. "the pool is closed, baby. we can come back tomorrow when it opens, okay? but never call mommy that again, yeah? you hurt her and my feelings that way. now, apologize to your mom."

"'m sorry mommy."

"and you'll never go to the pool again" you whispered to your husband, to which he nodded. "and then, maybe, we won't take you to the pool because you weren't nice to mommy. you have to love your mommy and treat her well" he added.

your daughter cried some more because she would never go to the pool again.

KATSUKI BAKUGO as . . . the restrained cop.

— katsuki would try to be gentle, but with his tone of voice, it would come out horribly. and if. his daughter is an exact copy of him? he would be pissed off and would probably ask you to reason with her first, because fighting fire with fire is horrible. when he finds out your daughter is disrespectful to you, though, he has to control himself not to scream at his child.

trying to teach your daughter to eat different foods was hard. and during the holidays? it was a nightmare.

when you sat beside her trying to spoon-feed her a small piece of turkey, she gagged. "gross! i'm not hungry. mommy made gross food! ew, ew, ew!"

katsuki's head quickly turned to the table where you sat, trying to reason with your daughter. as you fed her the food, she chewed it, and then opened her mouth. she spit. the food. on her hand.

katsuki had a face that read 'i know damn well she didn't, as he stepped closer. when you asked your daughter to please eat and to not waste any food, she snapped.

"shut up mommy!"

"who do ya think yer talking to, kid? huh? that's your mom" katsuki snaps, which earned a sob from his daughter. he realized he should've used a softer tone, but tough love, right? he was raised like that and he turned out fine.

"kid, do you know that mommy's hurt by the way you talked to her? see how ya started cryin' when i yelled? momma feels that way when ya don't treat her well. apologize."

your kid had never apologized quicker.

muttering a soft 'thank you', you turned to your daughter and helped her clean up her hand. katsuki, in the meantime, started wondering.

was the turkey he baked really that gross?

SHOTO TODOROKI as . . . the traumatized cop?

— shoto would try to do everything he can to not resemble his father. and if he ended up with a troubled kid, he would be very patient. if his daughter is disrespectful to his wife, he'd definitely be upset. he would also try to reason with her. he would pull the 'you wanna know how i got this scar' if things get really serious.

when you and your daughter were arguing upstairs, as you tried to dress her up for another todoroki family reunion. when she didn't want to get dressed, she cried.

"i'm going to tell daddy you hit me."

"sweetheart, please listen to me—"

bang.

your daughter threw herself onto the desk to her right, and started weeping more tears as she wailed, "daddy, mommy hit me!"

shoto ran up the stairs to find your weeping daughter and you with the most distressed look on your face. "did you?" he asked, to which you scoffed. "do you really think—"

"—i know you'd never" shoto cut you off, "but i had to ask. she needs to learn about trust, and not to lie."

your husband turned to her daughter, picking her up and cradling her on his arms. "where does it hurt?" he asked, as your daughter pointed at her forehead. his lips placed quick, caring kisses on your daughter's forehead as his expression turned more serious. "i want you to tell me the truth, (daughter's name). did mommy really hit you?"

your daughter looked around, her gaze finally fixating on the ground as she muttered a quiet 'no'.

"then why did you say that?"

she cried some more as she muttered nonsense into your husband's shoulders. shoto's hand cupped her cheek so she would look at him. "do you know how i got this scar?", he asked, to which she shook her head.

"my family was not very nice, and i ended up hurt" he stated, "and mommy is doing everything she can for you to feel loved. is this how we should be with mommy?"

your daughter shook her head.

"your mommy is very caring and nice with you, and we should be the same way with her. now, what do we say to her?"

"...sorry mommy."

"that's much better, my love. let's not do this again."

[miriamladyvoid]

════✩═════════════【˖⁺‧₊˚✩˚₊‧⁺˖】═══════════════✩═══

Always an Angel, Never a God

"Sometimes, she felt as if her heart were a dying star, flickering weakly in the vast darkness of the sky. Always present, but barely noticeable among so many other, brighter lights, beautiful in its light, but always seeming to be just a heartbeat away from going out".

✧I will no longer write something so ambitious again; it was so complicated to cohere all of this because I didn't want to discard any character from each dorm. So I hope the pace of the reading doesn't feel weird. The tone was supposed to be more hopeful, but I started to feel a little sad at the end.

✧Fem Prefect, the reader is the Ramshackle prefect.

The nights in Twisted Wonderland had always been a refuge; from the window of the Ramshackle Dorm, the prefect watched the firmament with a mixture of longing and melancholy. It was in those moments of stillness, under the immense night sky, that she could allow herself to breathe. The stars always seemed to offer her a companionship her friends could never fully provide. Not because they didn't love her, but because, at the end of the day, she was different. Twisted Wonderland, with all its magic and twisted wonders, was a fascinating place, but it was not her home. Her days passed in silent repetition.

First there was Ace, always quick with a joke, but his words sometimes hurt her more than he knew. "Prefect, what would we do without you?" he said half-jokingly and half-seriously. But those words, they hurt. What would they do without me? But what am I beyond solving their problems? Riddle, with his severe look and devotion to order, came to her when Heartslabyul fell apart under the weight of his own rules. "You're reasonable; I'd rather trust you," he said, like it was a compliment. However, in his eyes, she was only another piece in his perfect order, a resource to use when the rules were not enough to maintain the order.

Trey, always kind and calm, offered her small comforts in the form of candy and kind words. “Don’t worry so much,” he would say as he handed her a freshly baked cookie, as if sugar could sweeten the bitterness she felt. It was as if Trey treated her with the same kindness one gives to a stranger, someone you want to please but not let get too close to. Cater, always smiling and with the phone ready, seemed to see her in a brighter light, at least on the surface. “This is going straight to Magicam, but make sure you give your best smile, okay?” he exclaimed while making sure she was well framed in his selfies. But once the photo is taken, she becomes a memory that faded away among filters and irrelevant comments.

Deuce was different, and maybe that's why it hurt her more. "Prefect, I'll do better next time," he'd say after some disaster, his eyes filled with determination and guilt. In his clumsy way, he always wanted to prove to her that he could be better, that he could be up to it. But in those desperate attempts to prove himself, she couldn't help but feel responsible for the insecurity he carried. It was as if, instead of supporting each other, he was running after a difficult goal, looking for validation in a place where she herself couldn't find it.

The moments with Leona were like shooting stars: brief flashes of connection that illuminated the darkness, only to quickly fade away. He was a dying star, exhausted and unwilling to shine for anyone else. Sometimes, it seemed she managed to truly see him, glimpsing something beyond his usual indifference. His distant gaze made her feel like a powerless spectator, unable to stop his inevitable collapse. "Don't try so hard," he would tell her, yawning with squinted eyes. "You don't belong here anyway." His carefree words always cut deeper than intended. Jack, despite his loyal and protective nature, saw her as someone he always had to take care of. "You're strong, but sometimes you get into too dangerous situations," he would say, his tone full of concern. His protection was comforting, but also a chain that kept her anchored to a dependency she didn't want. By his side, she felt like a star whose shine depended on the protection of others, trapped in an orbit that eclipsed her independence.

Ruggie, on the other hand, viewed her through a more pragmatic lens. "If you ever need anything, you know, just ask," he would tell her with a mischievous grin. But there was always a transaction behind his words, as if she was just one more on his list of favors, something he could cash in when it was convenient. To him, she was like a distant star, useful insofar as she could offer something, but always interchangeable. "Don't take things so personally, Prefect. We're all looking out for ourselves here." That raw truth, stripped of sentimentality, was a brutal reminder that, in this world, no one shone without a price to pay.

Azul saw her as an opportunity. He always had a deal or contract at hand, waiting for her to fall. “You can always count on me for a fair price,” he would say, with that calculating smile that never revealed his true interest. Like the ocean that reflects the stars but never touches them, she never felt like more than a surface he turned to when he needed something. She was not an equal. And though she knew his words were double-edged, there was a strange comfort in being valued, even if it was for her usefulness. Floyd was a fickle tide; he was unpredictable, and his light always seemed to flicker between whim and disdain. “Shrimpy, you’re fun! You don’t bore me as easily as the others!” he would say with a smile that failed to disguise his capricious nature. Sometimes he would smother her with his attention, with brusque hugs and laughter that lashed like a violent tide, but his effervescence had an edge; when he grew bored of her company, he would abandon her without hesitation.

Jade, always his brother’s elegant shadow, would approach with his serpentine calm and eyes that seemed to unravel secrets. “It’s always a pleasure having you around, Prefect,” he would comment with that polite smile that never reached his eyes. His tone was always wrapped in impeccable politeness; she felt like his words were more of an assessment than a compliment. At his side, she felt like a star trapped in a jar, admired only as long as it served to feed his curiosity.

Kalim, with his bright optimism, was perhaps the one who treated her with overflowing kindness, but even warmth could be blinding. "You're a great friend," he would say sincerely, but something in those words made her hesitate. He would seek her out when he wanted to share her joy, but he could never quite grasp her sadness. Sometimes, being by his side was like floating in a sky lit by fireworks, dazzling and joyful but a light that fades when the sun makes its appearance. With Jamil, the connection was more complicated, a precarious balance like that of a star orbiting dangerously close to a black hole. Always trapped in Kalim's shadow, his own struggles overshadowed any support she might need. “It is better that you do not get too involved,” he warned her with his cold tone, his gaze fixed on a point beyond her, as if she weren't even there. Despite that, she sometimes lent him a hand in his duties with Kalim. But she knew that, for him, it was nothing more than a satellite, a secondary star without its own brightness, destined to revolve around something bigger and more important than itself.

Vil was a supernova, bright and blinding, consuming himself in his quest for perfection. “Beauty takes effort, Prefect,” he told her with brutal frankness, his critical eyes seeing each of her imperfections as something that needed to be corrected. His words, wrapped in the confidence of someone who had always been admired, only reminded her how imperfect she felt around him; his words, though well-intentioned, left her feeling more dulled than enlightened. Rook, the hunter whose love for beauty was as great as life itself, saw the prefect as a masterpiece. “You are so fascinating, my dear Trickster,” he exclaimed, his poetry as intoxicating as it was confusing. His words were a hymn to her uniqueness, but behind his admiration was a disturbing curiosity, as if he wanted to decipher her and reduce her to a simple piece of his endless collection of discoveries and beauties.

Epel, determined to prove his strength, kept her at a distance. “I don’t need you to babysit me like a child,” he insisted. She admired his determination, but she couldn’t ignore the pain his words left behind. His distance was a reminder that even among the lost, vulnerability was a burden few were willing to share.

Idia kept to himself, always hidden behind the screen of his tablet. “I like having you around,” he had once told her. They shared the strangeness of not fitting in, but even in that shared solitude, she felt a distance. “We’re like NPCs, you know? The ones on the outside, the ones who don’t count,” he had once joked. Despite his isolation, Idia shone, albeit in a dim, reserved way. He took refuge in his solitude; she desperately sought to be seen, to be understood. Ortho, on the other hand, was always an unwavering warmth. His innocence and curiosity radiated a light reminiscent of a young star: bright, pure, and free of the shadows of a life that never came to be. “You’re my brother’s friend, so you’re my friend too!” he would say enthusiastically, in that tone that made his every word seem like a gift. She knew that, in Ortho’s eyes, she was someone special. Yet she couldn’t help but wonder if her worth depended solely on the connection she shared with Idia. Would he still view her with the same affection if her bond with his brother disappeared? Would she still matter if that thread unraveled?

Lilia was like a dying star, its light still shining brightly, but hiding the imminence of its extinction. "Ah, Prefect, you still have much to learn," he would say with a soft smile, as if he knew something she could not understand. To him, she was a curious flicker in time, something to cherish while it lasted, but without the depth to leave a real mark on his long-lived existence. Like a reminder of what is fleeting, an echo of the lights he had seen go out countless times. Sebek, with his fiery passion, treated her as if she were a star that had strayed from its course, something that needed to be guided back into place. “Though you are a human without magic, you have some worth!” Though his words often carried reproach, beneath was a misplaced devotion that she could not ignore. To Sebek, she was a lesser star, one that existed only to reflect the greatness of her lord. Even his attempts to protect her felt like an extension of his own obsession, leaving her trapped in his shadow. Silver was the stillness of a dawn before the sun rose, a soft glow that always seemed on the verge of fully awakening. “Prefect, your presence always brings peace,” he said in a sleepy tone, as if he saw her more as a whisper in the background of his reality than as a clear voice. Yet his perpetual drowsiness created a barrier between them, as if he were trapped in a dream from which he could not wake. To him, she was a star that illuminated his path, but whose light barely managed to penetrate his own lethargy.

Finally, on one of her darkest nights, when the weight of her isolation was almost unbearable, she found Malleus on the outskirts of Ramshackle. He was there, like a majestic shadow under the starry sky, the king of the firmament, an imposing force that always seemed on the verge of consuming everything.

“Why do you think the stars stay there, so distant, instead of falling and disappearing?” he asked, his gaze fixed on the infinite. His voice was quiet, with an echo of melancholy that resonated in the cold night air.

She hesitated before answering. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because… they have nowhere else to go.”

For an instant, he wanted to say something, anything, to fill the void her words had left. But he didn’t. Because, although Malleus would never say it directly, there was something in his voice that seemed like an invitation. As if, in the midst of that immensity that always separated them, he was telling her that her light was enough, too, even if she didn’t see it yet. But there was always a chasm between them, a constant reminder that her light would never be as eternal as his.

The weight of all those glances, of all those words, was building up in her chest as if an invisible hand was squeezing her heart. It had been a long journey, one filled with unforgettable moments, but also marked by a loneliness that no one seemed to notice. Memories of each interaction passed through her mind like a cruel parade. She forced herself to breathe deeply, her trembling hands touching the window glass as her eyes sought solace in the stars again. Yet her mind, treacherous, found one last wound to open. One sentence, cold and implacable, echoed in her memory like a definitive sentence:

“There is no place in this world where this soul belongs. NONE.”

The words of the Mirror echoed in her mind, an irrevocable sentence that pierced her heart with the precision of a dagger. She had wanted to prove him wrong. She had tried to fit in, tried to find a place among the people she had come to love and admire, even as each interaction reinforced the truth she so feared. The thought cut through her like a knife, and with it came a single certainty: her presence here had never been wanted. She was no heroine, no savior. She was just a nobody who had fallen into this world at the whim of a mirror.

The sentence continued to echo in her head, stealing the air from her lungs. Her chest tightened, her throat closed, and before she could stop herself, tears began to flow from her eyes. The crying began as a silent tremor, a muffled gasp as she buried her face in her hands. She covered her mouth, desperate not to wake Grim, her little companion, who slept peacefully in the bed. Cruel irony that he, her faithful friend, was not there to notice the sadness of his henchman. The same sadness that she had always hidden behind a smile and an ill-timed joke. Her breathing was irregular, ragged by the effort to contain the sobs that threatened to break the silence of the night. The world seemed to have shrunk to that small corner of her bedroom, where only the stars were witnesses to her vulnerability. Sometimes, she felt as if her heart were a dying star, flickering weakly in the vast darkness of the sky. Always present, but barely noticeable among so many other, brighter lights, beautiful in its light, but always seeming to be just a heartbeat away from going out.

The crying continued, each tear falling in a desperate, muffled silence. For once, she couldn't even find solace in the stars. Only curses. She cursed her weakness, her loneliness, but most of all, she cursed the day that damn mirror had made her fall into Twisted Wonderland.

════✩═════════════【˖⁺‧₊˚✩˚₊‧⁺˖】═══════════════✩═══

Banners created by miriamladyvoid© Feel free to use; please, reblog, and credit banners.

©Miriamladyvoid 2024. do not steal my work plz…☕︎

Language of the flowers of each Banner:

First Banner: Cyclamen: Resignation. Second Banner: Bramble, Rose: Envy. Third Banner: Lobelia: Splendid Misery.

[xavimeow]

miscellaneous love and deepspace spicy headcanons

disclaimer: i am not a writer im not even a poster i simply want to post my random thoughts ok do not expect shakespearian riddles in here :3 also fem reader ig but most could be general

Xavier:

-switch but is the most dominant out of the 4

-likes when you act bratty because he enjoys giving punishments

-focuses alot more on your pleasure than his, like he will sit there and give you 5 orgasms in a row on his fingers, tongue, knee, or whatever and not even think about the fact his dick is 2 seconds from exploding

-likes to be really close to you while fucking, basically lays completely on top of you

-not even in a controlling, keeping you in place kind of way, hes simply likes feeling your entire body on his

-actually likes being in control when you're riding him, grabbing you by the waist and holding you inplace while he thrusts into you while his mouth sucks and kisses all over your chest

-not a biter but rather a licker

-likes putting you in a mating press so he can just lick and kiss your neck while asking you if you like it

-wants you to tell him how good he's making you feel at all times

-sensitive ears to both touch and sound

-lovessss when you dirty talk and when you get especially loud while hes pleasuring you

-the second you go to cover your mouth hes grabbing your wrist and pinning it to the bed because how dare you not let him hear every pretty sound being forced out of you by him

-likes to be smothered a bit when going down on you

-when he says sit on his face he means SIT DOWN ON HIS FACE LIKE A CHAIR OK NONE OF THAT HOVERING BS

-likes to go down on you after a mission after you've sweat alot cause he a freak like that

-helping you out with laundry like the good bf he is but also 100% is stealing a pair of your dirty panties im sorry hes just obsessed with you a little bit

-Favorite position: missionary, doggy

-Turn ons: dirty talk, tongues, lazy sex, handcuffs, brat taming, dry humping

-Turn offs: lack of noises, choking

Sylus:

-switch but more dominant

-unpopular opinion but I do not think he's a rough dom sorry

-sure if you were to ask if he can be a little rough with you he'd definitely comply with your request but I truly feel like he'd prefer passionate slow sex over hard and rough sex majority of the time

-well he'd prefer it that way when he's the one in charge

-when he's feeling submissive however, he wants you to absolutely destroy him

-that man wants to be choked and slapped and spit on and called a dumb slut trust me i can see it in his eyes

-finds it really hard to not thrust up into you when you tell him to be still as you ride him, sometimes he doesn't even realize he's doing it (you notice though and, while you do sometimes call him out for it, soemtimes you just let it slide because it feels so good to see him be so needy for you

-you have definitely had one of those remote control vibrators inside you in public before

-he's a huge exhibitionist and wouldnt even slightly lower it after you've came

-i do not think he's the jealous type at all really infact i think he wants to show you off in any way he can and would definitely want to try fucking you infront of people (obviously if you said you weren't comfortable with that he would immediately drop it though)

-his dick is so stupidly big that he has made it a rule that he will always make you cum atleast once or twice before actually fucking you

-despite what fanfics tell you, having a stupidly big dick is not always a good thing, and he would not want to hurt you so hed always make sure you're super prepared

-though he doesnt want to hurt you, he does feel his heart and dick swell a little when he sees how overwhelmed you get at his size, how your eyes roll back and your breathing stop when he pushes into you because holy fuck how is that thing gonna fit all the way in

-put his hand on your lower stomach and pushes down so you can really feel how deep his cock is

-Favorite position: rocking horse, mating press

-Turn ons: exhibitionism, toys, size kink, ropes, spit

-Turn offs: giving heavy degradation, giving heavy amounts of pain

Rafayel:

-the ultimate switch, doesnt have a preference for either

-likes when you edge him while kissing his neck and ears, grabbing his hair in one hand and his dick in the other

-maybe another unpopular opinion but i think rafayel is a mean dom when he gets really into it

-grabs your hair and forces you to watch as his cock absolutely destroys your insides

-enjoys degrading you, calling you a slut, telling you that all you're good for is making him cum, that your only purpose is serving him and making him feel good

-definitely a headpusher when receiving oral

-likes when you slap his ass but would never admit it, its obvious from how red his face gets though

-ok idk if this is too much but if you fingered him while sucking his dick i think he'd cum so hard he dies and ascends to heaven

-you ask to peg him and he's immediately like WHAT no way not happening but is eventually like fineeee (he secretly really wants it)

-cums the second you hit his prostate the first time and then gets immediately embarrassed when you start giggling at his expense

-he just couldn't handle how hot you looked when taking control

-loves when you wear skirts and dresses for easy access bending you over the nearest flat surface so he can just slip himself into you and take you right then and there

-Favorite position: cowgirl, over the counter, 69

-Turn ons: edging, degradation, dubcon, fucking on every surface of his house, your house, an any hotel you guys stay in ever

-Turn offs: being ignored, making him jealous on purpose

Zayne:

-generally kinda submissive but sometimes switches

-i feel like he has 0 experience and also doesnt really masturbate often so probably has a cumming in pants moment with you

-always pulling you into his lap because the feeling of you on top of him drives him absolutely crazy

-his mouth is always on your tits that man is HUNGRY

-would probably never ask for it but if you were to dress up in lingerie and give him a lapdance i think hed be replaying it in his head every single time he touches himself for the rest of eternity

-would never ever degrade you even if you asked i just dont think he'd enjoy it whatsoever

-if you have a praise kink though, hes your guy, he loves calling you his good girl and telling you how sexy you look when you feel good

-likes when you play with his nipples

-enjoys risky sex such as in his office or his car but doesnt actually want to get caught ever, would kiss you to stop you from being too loud

-likes to be completely tied up by you occasionally and to essentially be treated like a sex toy during those times

-if hes already came dont worry about stopping cause hes goes insane when you overstimulate him, would probably start crying because it feels so good he cant believe this is really happening

-heavy groper when doing it, just loves feeling and grabbing every inch of your body

-definitely a brat tamer but not a harsh one, will spank u til ur ass is red but not cause bruises or anything

-Favorite position: cowgirl, lotus, butterfly

-Turn ons: nipple play, lingerie, overstimulation, rolepay, foodplay a little

-Turn offs: degradation, unresponsive partners

[roseyodditea]

Hell of a View - Lighter x gn!Reader

Summary -> 1.1k words. It's not a competition on who finds the better view... right? (Lighter wins)

Warnings -> None

A/N -> One day I'll actually proofread. Today is not that day

“You’re still not relaxing,” you tease, peering past the sunglasses to see eyes roll. The man in front of you places down his coffee cup, looking past you to the river.

“I’m not good at relaxing.” Lighter’s gruff voice was soft in the evening air of Lumina Square, the atmosphere of the upstairs area of the coffee shop rather relaxing. The lanterns on the hotpot restaurant balcony lent their warm light onto the patio, the gentle breeze coming off the river bringing fresh air, and the quiet lull of the dwindling foot traffic beneath the patio was so serene. A sharp contrast to Lighter’s aggressive spiked leather jacket, tattered scarf, and steely gaze looking at you over the sunglasses he still had on.

“Yeah, but you’re not really trying.” You lightly scold. “All day you’ve been like this. Grouchy and huffy.” “‘Huffy”?” He questions, his sunglasses sliding down his nose, his confused expression rather cute. 

You sip your own coffee and get up out of your chair, crossing the patio. “C’mere. Come see.” You beckon the man over, turning to look at the tall buildings across the river, smiling softly as you feel Lighter’s presence stop right behind you. “How can you not relax seeing a view like that?”

Lighter looks between you and the cityscape. “Easily. Watch.” He gestures to himself in a poor attempt of dry humor. “See? Not relaxed.” “Okay, smartass,” you huff, a little bit disappointed in how today went. Caesar had messaged you early this morning, asking you to watch after Lighter for today. ’Make sure he actually takes a day off!’. A simple ask, one you thought would be easy, but all day he hadn’t been taking a break, he had been your glorified body guard. You took him to Random Play to pick out a movie, but Belle and Wise were busy with a commission Lighter almost volunteered for. You took him to the arcade, only to watch him get frustrated after losing so many games. You took him shopping in Lumina Square but he spent the entire time watching the people around you two, making sure to position himself in a protective stance whenever he thought someone looked at you the wrong way. 

Lighter could feel the tension in the silence. While you were deep in your thoughts, he took in the details of your body language he had been learning to decode. He could see the way your eyebrows knitted together, how your fingers began to pick at your cuticles, how you shifted your weight between your feet, uncomfortable with this situation. He let out a sigh, knowing this was his fault. “Thank you.”

You snap out of your thoughts, catching a glimpse of genuine gratitude in his eyes. “What?” “For today. Thank you.” He says again, looking back over the water. “I know I’m not the best company in the city. I know you were just trying to help me have a good day, and I’m glad you did. I… enjoy your company.” “I enjoy your company too,” you start, but don’t get to finish.

“‘But’?”

You let out a scoff, “but I didn’t do a real good job. Even if you do like spending time with me. This entire day you’ve just been so tense.” Lighter stepped close, dropping his voice. “There’s so many people in New Eridu. There’s more people in this square alone than within thirty miles of Blazewood. It’s not your fault I’m not comfortable in crowded areas.” You feel stupid the second he says it, groaning as you hide your face in your hands. “Oh my god I should have thought about that.”

Lighter’s laugh only makes you feel worse. “Oh it’s alright. Here… let me make it up to you.”

You don’t have much time to react before he guides you down the stairs and over to a parking lot where his motorcycle was parked. “Where are we going?” Lighter slings his legs over the bike and gestures for you to climb up behind him. “To see a real view.” You don’t question it, getting on behind him and wrapping your arms around his waist, holding on as he begins to ride down the streets of New Eridu. You tremble as the cityscape flashes by, the fear of being on the back of the motorcycle causing you to grip on even tighter. The sun had set entirely as you left the city, Lighter driving faster, taking enjoyment in the fearful sounds that got lost in the wind. Right when you had gotten used to the feeling of the bike, Lighter came to a stop. 

He parks the bike and swings his leg back over it, holding his hand out so you could slide off the motorcycle. “Where are we?” “Somewhere that doesn’t have a name.” He answers simply and walks a bit further up the path with you following close behind. “Now close your eyes.” “Oh god I don’t know if I should trust you.” You joke and close your eyes anyway. 

“Good. I only came up here to kill you.” He jokes and leads you for a minute or two before he stops. You hear him step behind you, feeling his warmth with how closely he was standing. He adjusts you a bit and you can hear a smile in his voice as he speaks up again. “Open.”

The sight that greets you takes away every joke or comment you could have made. For miles the bare terrain of the Outer Ring stretched out, only to be broken up by the magnificent city scape on the horizon. Tall buildings stretched out with the spotlights to the clouds, blimps lazily drifting through the air, all framed by the brilliant stars that were hidden from the sky in the city. “Oh my god.”

“Now that’s a view you can’t be stressed looking at.” He murmurs, not wanting to disrupt the air too much. 

“I… wow… You got me beat.” He laughs softly, taking a deep breath of clean air. “Yeah, I do.” “You’re supposed to say something comforting here about how I didn’t ruin your day and how my plans weren’t that bad.”

“You didn’t ruin my day,” he shoves your shoulder playfully, “but this is much better than the view at the coffee shop, huh?”

You let out a happy noise. “A little bit.” A comfortable silence settling between the two of you, standing side by side, gazing out into the view of the city.

“Maybe Caesar was right. I did enjoy going on this date with you.”

The word ‘date’ snaps you out of the tranquil mindset you were in. “Wait, what?”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------

Unread Notifications: 

8 hours ago

{Caesar: “Lighter is on the way to meet up with you…”} 

Open to read more

8 hours ago

{Caesar: “Lighter is on the way to meet up with you. Btw I told him this is a date because you need that kind of excitement in your life. Have fun!”}

[drdemonprince]

I think think about your piece How to Go Places Alone And Not Feel Like A Freak Looser (or something to that affect) quite often.

While it is uncomfortable, tiring, nerve wracking, to feel like or be the odd one out, I am at least used to the feeling. It takes nerve but (especially as a kid/teen) have always gone to things alone and, once I get over myself, enjoy not caring what anyone thinks about my presence.

As an (ever transsexualizing >:) adult, I am getting back into doing & dressing however I want in public (embarrassing yourself is inevitable, might as well enjoy life!). This is a funner, freer, outlook, but I hoped being more myself would help me find my people.

I’m used to the awful feeling of being an alien freak looser (real or imagined) so I can hype myself up to be in my own world when I’m out. But I wonder if doing this, and choosing events based on interest instead of demographics or friendship, reinforces my felling of disconnect with people. It’s easier to accept, and dress like, I’ll always stick out (be alone) than it is to imagine mimicking those around me.

I went to an explicitly cruisey new years night and instead of studying the crowd intensely trying to fit in, wore my shiny platforms, smiled at people, and danced just for the fun of it. Feeling good about myself and enjoying my experience requires an ‘eh fuck ‘em’ attitude. I can enjoy being in public seeing all my fellow earthlings but it does not feel social. And I realize, my time there felt anything but sexy. I wasn’t about to walz into the darkroom (let’s walk before we run), but I hate that I couldn’t feel comfortable in this place I’ve always wanted to be.

I return to the same questions everywhere I go: I can exist, but how am I supposed to learn the codes of a space when I can’t study (ruminate) from afar?

How could I ever be social when (even joyous and embodied) I can’t get out of my own head?

How do you know when it’s time to listen to your gut and when to play into a social game?

I understand what you mean about the duality between doing your own thing in your own little alien bubble and actively placing effort into connecting with the people around you (which often feels like it requires masking).

But, from my perspective, both of those are strategies for dealing with social overwhelm -- one is more dissociative, and the other's more compensatory. Both of them reflect a discomfort with the people in the space. And they're both perfectly reasonable ways to deal with such feelings! But the way to move forward, at least in my experience, is to continue attending events until you attain enough familiarity with them that you actually start feeling more comfortable.

You said you didn't feel sexy at this cruisy party, and certainly weren't ready to venture into the dark room. That's fine! You can work your way up in whatever order of activities is least intimidating to most intimidating to you.

The first few times that I go to a club, I need anywhere from a few minutes to an hour to get warmed up enough to really dance on the floor and take up a ton of space and make weird gestures. I spend a lot of time lurking in the corner or reading a book at the bar at first. After I've been there a number of times, I know the deal of the space better, recognize a few people, maybe have developed a rapport with the door guy or a regular, and it gets easier to branch out and feel more at ease in my skin. People intuit this and approach me more often when I'm feeling more comfortable, and my reactions have fewer exit ramps built into them (one of my protective instincts is to throw out a lot of conversation-enders that make people feel rejected, lmaoo good one me).

The same general principles I've described here can apply to any new social challenge, including a bar with a backroom where people are fucking. Show up again. Do your thing. Maybe find a spot to post up and observe, since you mentioned an interest in doing that. Bring a book or some knitting if you want, and wear whatever outfit helps you feel comfortable and good with yourself. The first few times you do all this, people may get strong "I'm Doing My Own Thing Leave Me Alone" vibes from you, as they often do from Autistics, and that's fine. You're still learning and acclimating from being there. After a couple of tries, head into that back room. It's not as exciting as you think it's gonna be. You might get to watch some fucking or you might just see a bunch of guys pacing around who are just as awkward as you feel that you are. But then you'll know what it's like. And then you just keep showing up, and observing and participating in small ways (watching is participation in a sex club!), and you'll get steadily more involved in the space and connected to the people each time that you do.

I've been going to pet patrol nights for a long time and I've only just now gotten to the point where I can chat up random people and get into hookups relatively easily, instead of just standing around mutely hoping someone will approach me. Bringing friends has helped a ton to relax me and make me seem more approachable to others, too, so you could try that!

for anyone wondering here's the full piece

[xyfanficarchive]

……free use jimmy. Jimmy who’s always got a half chub around you and when you ghost your hand over it he lets out a whimper (super embarassed about it and probably tries to play it off as a cough). Jimmy who who likes to bite and scratch and have mean rough sex but he’ll kiss you afterwards and tuck his face in your neck (it’s his way of showing affection and aftercare). Jimmy who gets limp dicked bc of meds so you grind against his meat until you both cum…Jimmy who steals your underwear and huffs it like a fucking drug while jacking the skin off his dick. JIMMY.

oxy youre killing me.

i always agonize over whether to answer in second person or first person but FUCK IT im selfship brained rn. but anyone can take these for themselves 👍

i cant imagine how down bad and in love and fully trusting jimmy’s gotta be to be FREE USE like what a vulnerable position to let himself be fucked whenever kyahahaha but he’s always half hard around me thinking it could happen at any time… i like the idea of him loving being my little whore 😊😊😊 let go of that control baby ill make you feel good….

ive never been really into the idea of being on the receiving end of rough sex until jimmy man fuck i want him to bite me and mark me and pin my wrists i think id let that man choke me. no i WOULD let him choke me. that man fucks HARD when he’s being mean, god… and to get his sweet kisses after, cuddles, his face in my neck almost like he’s thanking me…

imagining coming to his place and finding out where all my panties have gone what a perv i like the idea of him not only smelling them but cumming into them. taking them home and washing them fuck theyre still perfectly good panties and he would absolutely get off on seeing me wear them knowing he’d jerked off into them. and i also like the idea of tying him up and riding him and putting my underwear over his face fuck he’s gotta be busting so fast

basically i think he’s a switch even if he doesnt realize it yet, we’d have the best switch sex life ever. i think he’d be into electrostim, giving and receiving. it can feel good or it can hurt and he would love being in control of it. and love it more after knowing what both ends of the spectrum feel like when he lets me have the controls. like i think he’s the kind of person who absolutely loves being in power but i love the idea of jimmy who’s comfortable enough to make himself vulnerable and let someone have power over him as well.

i think a quite a bit of his fragile self worth is tied up in sex and masculinity so being unable to get it up hits really hard, even though the meds help he’s really fucking self conscious if he’s even worth it as a partner anymore so i think having someone who still wants him so bad they’re willing to grind on his soft dick until they both cum. yeah he knows he’s hit the jackpot. fuck he’s so in love.

[remstrrs]

Potential Rebel Robin -> S4 Parallel and (potentially) S5 Parallel

I feel like as a fandom, we don't really talk about the Rebel Robin book/podcast enough, especially about it's implications for the series in general, so i wanted to look at one specific scene that parallels a scene from s4, and that i think would be rlly cool if paralleled in s5:

{CC:

Robin : There's something wrong with me. There's something inside of me that's just, like, rotten, and there's nothing I can do to fix it.

Wait - Wait why are you stopping?

Mr. Hauser : Robin, look at me. There is nothing wrong with you.

Robin : You have to say that.

Mr. Hauser : No, I'm serious. Hey - hey, look me in the eye and trust what I'm saying, okay? There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing rotten inside of you; you don't need to be fixed. }

For further context, Mr. Hauser is Robin's English teacher at Hawkins High in her sophomore year (podcast is set in winter of 1983) who she becomes very close with and, in this scene, is giving her a ride home.

This is episode four of the podcast, but in the final episode, Robin finds out that Mr. Hauser is a queer man who is secretly dating another man in Hawkins.

In aforementioned scene, Robin asks him if he's happy, and if living in Hawkins while queer is really worth it for him - to which he says yes, but reminds Robin that she doesn't have to make the same choice as him, saying, "There are places where you don't need the armor"

Now, firstly, I want to start by talking about how this scene between Robin and Mr. Hauser is a pretty close parallel to the scene in s4e08, where Jonathan is comforting Will after he watches the painting scene go down.

(Also, keep in mind that the Rebel Robin book was published in 2021, so it's writing coincided with the writing of s4)

Jonathan knows that Will is queer, and heard Will mention that he felt like a mistake back in the van, so he tells him that he loves him and,

"There is nothing in this world, okay, absolutely nothing that will ever change that."

Although not a perfect parallel, I couldn't help but notice the word choice used and the repetition of 'nothing' in both examples. The overall exigence of these two scenes is almost a perfect match, too:

Mr. Hauser hears Robin call herself wrong and rotten, so he comforts her by telling her the exact opposite.

Jonathan hears Will call himself different and a mistake so he comforts him and tells him that he loves him no matter what.

Now.... how do I think something similar could play out in Season 5?

Alright, so there's been a lot of talk on Byler tumblr about having scenes with Mike, Will, and Robin together - or Robin mentoring either one of the boys - but personally, I'd like to see the scenes above paralleled in a Robin/Mike conversation over anything, and here's why.

Out of the two boys, Mike is the one who is most isolated from his queerness and what it entails. Whereas Will is possibly starting to come into his own and accept himself a little bit more with Jonathan as a stronger support system, and has known about his queerness, Mike is much more lost. Will has already had a heart-to-heart with Jonathan, and knows he isn't alone with his queerness.

In my opinion, it's inevitable that Mike will have a heart-to-heart with one of the adults/older teens in Season 5, and I honestly believe that it has to be Robin, Nancy, or (preferably) both.

In Season 5, Mike is a high school sophomore. He's very clearly insecure, and is probably seen as more weird or different because of his previous involvement with Hellfire. Likewise, in her book, Robin is also an insecure high school sophomore who is seen as an outsider/social outcast.

Plus, in Season 5, Robin closely parallels Mr. Hauser from the book:

They both have accepted and come to terms with their queerness, and came out to at least one person, and they both have partners of the opposite-sex while living in Hawkins (assuming that Rovickie is canon after the 1987 time skip, which i believe it probably will be.)

In my opinion, this sets up an almost perfect opportunity for a Robin/Mike moment where Mike either:

In relation to his queerness, talks about feeling wrong and rotten to Robin, who sympathizes with him (and potentially comes out to him) helping him know that he isn't alone or broken.

or

Mike finds out about Robin's queerness by accident, (which is Robin's case when finding out about Mr. Hauser's) and he asks her if she's happy in Hawkins, which gives her the opportunity to convey to Mike that his idea of a 'family' isn't the only one, and that there "are places where you don't need the armor" just as Mr. Hauser said.

I think the second would be especially impactful, because Mike grew up in a white-picket fence, nuclear, traditional, and conservative household (something that is actually openly criticized by Nancy and Jonathan in season 1). He sees his parents' loveless relationship (which is paralleled to Stancy and Milkvan) right in front of his eyes, and thinks that its the only way because it's all he's known. Robin could open his eyes to the possibility of something else, and this is what could make him realize his feelings for Will.

Also! We have confirmation of a potential Robin + Mike scene (or at least a scene where Finn and Maya are filming together) by none other than Shawn Levy himself (pic posted on his insta)

If you don't know, Shawn Levy notoriously directed both of the scenes below, which show examples of Mike struggling with potential internalized homophobia during angsty fights with Will

Also, based on Shawn Levy's reply to this person on twt, it's very likely we get a similar scene in St5:

I think that another Byler fight could be the perfect lead-in to a heart-to-heart between Mike and Robin, too. Seeing the two boys fighting could lead her into asking Mike what's going on between them, which could then turn into a deeper conversation where Mike realizes exactly why his fights with Will are so different from his fights with anyone else.

This has gotten way too long and spiraled a bit out of control, and I need to actually write an essay for school now, so I'll leave it here.

Please let me know if you have anything to add or anything you agree or disagree with! I love theorizing with other people, too :)

[motthe]

I'm back with more Viktor luman au angst, but this time with mage Viktor:

On the day before the final battle, Reader is in the lab helping make some of the wepons for the final battle. Jayce leaves to deliver the last of them to the enforcers, but not before giving Reader reassurance that everything was going to be okay. Then he leaves, closing the door behind him. Reader whose overwhelmed knowing that Viktor nearly killed their friends and is going to do something awful. No one knows what he's planning, but he did send a robot to attack Mel and Jayce. As she sits there with her hand covering her face, she hears a creek. She thinks it's just Jayce back from delivering the wepons. She calls out to him, but no one answers back. Looking up, one of the robots is standing right in front of her. It's a blank white metallic face reflecting her shocked expression. This is bad she's all alone in the academy. Everyone evacuated to the other buildings in anticipation of a fight. So that means no one is around to hear her scream for help.

Before she can fully react, it lunges at her. She quickly grabs a nearby wrench and smacks the robot away. She goes to hit it again, but from behind her, another robot takes her wepon from behind. Now defenseless, she goes to run, but the robots are faster they grab her by her arms and hold her down on a table. Reader struggles and fights, but she's no fighter she's a doctor. All she can do is struggle and hope to somehow get away. It's all in vein though, as they bring her arms over her head, all she can do is kick her legs uselessly.

"Don't be scared, my love." Rings out a voice reader knows very well. It's followed by something small bumping into her face and nuzzling it. She looks over to see Viktors lumen nuzzling her. She hadn't seen the little guy in a while. Viktor took him when he left for Zaun. The little guy was different, no longer a dim yellow he now glowed blue much like the hexcore with black veins inside of him. It would be comforting if she wasn't currently being restrained. "I won't hurt you, I'd never hurt you."

"Why should I beli-" Turning towards where the voice came from, she loses her voice when she finally gets a look at what he's become. A tall, imposing figure steps from the darkness in all his glory. He has a beauty to him but also gives her a sense of dread she can't quite place. Maybe it has to do with the robots holding her down or the glowing eyes that seem to analyze her. Viktor walks closer, his cane turned staff clicking as it hits the floor. Once he's close enough, he holds out a hand about to touch her face.

Snaping out of her trance, she kicks out her leg, attempting to kick him away. Only for him to grab it with the hand that hovered over her face moments ago. He holds it down while the follower, still holding down her arm, uses its free hand to hold down her other leg. Now completely immobile, she feels tears well up in her eyes as she starts to beg. "Viktor, please, this isn't you don't do this." She doesn't quite know what she's begging him not to do, but she has a feeling these white robots weren't built in a lab. Considering Viktors new look, she has a hunch these robots were once - she just can't think of it. "You dont need to be afraid, my love. You will understand everything if you just join me."

She watches as Viktor releases his staff, and it floats beside him as he goes to rub her lumen. It's curled up under his neck, shivering in fear but still trying to find comfort in him. She shivers from the touch before shaking her head. "No, I don't know what's happened to you, but you need to stop this madness. You can end this and we can go home together please." She pleads but it falls on deaf ears as Viktor's hand leaves her lumen. He reaches out to her face again. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to force you, but no matter, you will join me either way." With that, he touches her forehead. She gasps as she feels suddenly so light and warm. At the same time, everything begins to erase. All her thoughts and memories are scrubbed from her mind, but with her last bit of clarity, she calls out to Viktor, "I love you Viktor, I will always lo-" She doesn't finish as her lumen falls off Viktors shoulder and absorbs into her new body.

Jayce gasps after seeing the vision given to him by the mage. Who he now knows is Viktor he questions why he gave him the rune and that vision. The mage is quiet as he walks from the still white body of the doomed timeline Jayce. He goes over to the standing statue of a woman. Despite being turned like the others, she still looks human. Her face isn't blank but has all her facial features. Her body is still that eerie marble with gold flecks, but unlike the others, she has no traces of corruption. She's draped in the blue blanket with a very small blue lumen huddled under her head. The mage caresses her face before kissing her lips that will never kiss back. As he does, Jayce hears a whisper he almost thought was the wind. A faint I love you is heard before mage Viktor pulls away looking to Jayce he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes "Cause in all timelines all possibilities only you can show me this."

Okay, so I hope no one was confused, but in the og/doomed timeline, mel still becomes a mage, but the difference is no mage Viktor, so doomed Jayce has no idea what Viktor is planning. Also that's why instead of evacuating out of the city, they relocated civilians to safe houses. This is to explain why there's so many robots in the doomed timeline. As for how he evolved in the doom timeline, honestly, it was probably singed who helped him evolve to his final form. Then mage Viktor shows Jayce how he turned the reader further, giving his alternate self a reason not to go through with his plan. Also, mage Viktor knows that out of everyone, Jayce is the only one who can get close enough to Viktor to stop him. So Jayce goes back and convinces the reader to leave with the other civilians. The final battle goes as planned, but now Viktor sees what mage Viktor did in doomed timeline to his soulmate, and the ending happens. But after Jayce and Viktor get sucked into the arcane, all that's left behind is readers' lumen who travels back to the reader once the civilians return.

sad hours at work 😭 but for real this was beautifully written. love how much thought went into this!!!

[r3linx]

⌜char.⌟ park jongseong ⌜synhopsis⌟ reader (and me) just being down bad for jay; just plain, quick and messy rambling about him [sorry for mistakes] ⌜word count⌟ 0.7k ⌜warnings⌟ sfw, gender neutral reader, fluff, pet names [sweetheart], established relationship

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ jay was a great husband material.

no debate needed to convince you otherwise. even just a quick glance at him can tell you the fact, how much of a good person he is. we could say that he is the standard. like right now, he’s so cutely focused on chopping the vegetables on front of him, his gaze fixated on his hands as worked swiftly and with ease.

he decided to be in charge of the dinner this time, he just couldn’t bring himself to disturb you, curled up beside him on the bed, the soft sheets crumpled up under you from all your tossing around. when he turned his gaze towards you, he stopped mid-sentence as he saw your eyelids fluttered close and your breathing calm. a gentle smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, carefully easing himself out of your warm and comforting embrace, his fingers brushing a few stray locks of silky hair behind your ear as he leaned down to plant a sweet kiss to your temple.

now he was in the kitchen, black-rimmed glasses sitting at the bridge of his nose, slipping down a bit as his head was turned down, chestnut-brown hair tickling his forehead. his olive skin shining softly under the cold white lights, making his face sharper and his skin creamier. his always gentle, slim fingers when he touched you, now firmly held the knife handle, wrapping around it as he guided it. his plump pink lips were in a straight line, making his cheeks form that adorable pout he rarely showed. he was like a bright and colorful palette with beautiful colors. all his features, his quirks. made up a color, which made himself, jay irresistible.

you stood at the doorway, just admiring him when his calm voice forced you back into reality.

“-sweetheart? is everything alright? you were just sleeping when i left..” he turned his head towards you now, looking at you through the lenses. his tone was sweet as honey, it soothed your nerves and mind, every single time. you could compare it to light blue, but at the same time, there were times when it turns darker and deeper shade, just as his voice firmer and more demanding, which never failed to make you amused. and his singing voice, so smooth and almost like silk to your ears.

you could list all of these things until hours and would still find facts that you forgot to mention. his eyes so brown, to the point it just seemed black but still, it seemed bright and lively every single time you took a glance at it, full of life and happiness because of you.

and his strong arms, which you didn’t notice until this point that was already around you after quickly wiping his hands off, setting the knife aside, and making his way to you in quick, long strides. muscles defined as he held you in his embrace, one of his palm flat against the small of your back, the other carefully placed against the nape of your neck to slowly guide your head under his chin. his grasp was like burgundy. so fiery, and passionate but still holding the sweetness and the tenderness in it. he was a man filled to the brink with spirit and devotion, but his love was gentle and romantic and not unstable.

it was like he always knew what or how to act and he carried himself with courage and confidence. it resembled to lilac, for some strange reason you couldn’t help but imagine him as shades and colors. he found it absolutely ridiculous, but to you, even colors had personality even if feeling not.

“i’ll finish the dinner okay? you can go lay back..” he mumbled against your hair, his words caressing your ear as his chest gently vibrated against yours.

“i’m not tired, i want to stay…” you replied with a soft smile appearing on your face, pressing a gentle and quick peck at his neck. a faint chuckle escaped from his throat as he gently shook his head.

“then stay.. but i’m doing the work.” you nodded against him, letting go of him and stepping back aside. “you’re doing that again, right? the stuff with the colors.” he asked with a playful tilt of his head to the side but he didn’t spare you even a glance.

“maybe..”

@r3linx II do not steal, modify or translate or repost any of my works. likes and reblogs are appreciated﹗﹗

[cyanide-mustard]

Chapter 5 ~ I don't have the words to describe (how much you mean to me)

On Ao3

Chapter 5: The tide pulls me in and drowns me

Summary:

James tries to fix what she's done. It backfires.

Notes:

AN: Firstly, Happy New Year!!!! Secondly, sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, my English is shit. My friend helps me edit sometimes but her schedule is very busy. Thank you for your patience! And lastly, thank you guys for all your wonderful comments and all the love you've shown this fic! It helps me so much to see that people are enjoying what I write and it gives me so much motivation to write the next chapter! Thanks for all the love!!!   Here's the alphabet and translations are always in the end notes! :) A=𝜩, B=𝜣, C=𝝃, D=𝛴, E=𝜓, F=𝝇, G=𝝋, H=𝝺, I=𝛃, J=𝝣, K=𝝥, L=𝟄, M=𝟇, N=𝞖, O=𝝠, P=𝝮, Q=𝞈, R=𝞀, S=𝞏, T=𝞔, U=𝞒, V=𝞃, W=𝝸, X=𝞹, Y=𝞾, Z=𝞙

Yesterday, once James had left the lab, it seemed that the two men couldn’t focus on their work. So they went home, under the decided reasoning that the past two weeks were wearing them all out. Jayce and Viktor weren’t strangers to late nights or working themselves to the bone. They also weren’t strangers to long periods of time where they couldn’t have sex; Hextech was their baby, it had required lots of time and energy, especially in the early days but now thankfully their baby was starting to grow up and didn’t require their attention 24/7.

Which is why when they got home they both raced for their bedroom and once inside, started, to put it as nicely as possible, started fucking like rabbits. They figured they had a good two hours before James was home and made sure to put that time to use. When they heard the door slam they had just finished a couple minutes before and both men were lying on bed catching their breaths. They took a second to put their clothes back on to look presentable but when they went into the living room she was nowhere to be found. They called out her name and upon hearing no response they opened her door to find her sleeping form on her bed. Assuming she was as exhausted as they were from the week, they chose to leave her sleeping soundly.

The first thing Jayce and Viktor had noticed the next morning was all the sticky notes James had put up were now gone. Jayce missed the little picture that stood in the foyer, the one James had drawn on the second day of her being here. The drawing of the three of them together made their apartment feel more homely and its absence was the most notable aspect.

The next thing they noticed was that James had made them all breakfast but only two dishes were on the counter, the third was already washed and drying. While the two ate breakfast, Viktor missed their routine of eating all together.

The third thing they noticed was a piece of paper in between their dishes. It said, “I go library, I study there, I come home at 8”.

The two men felt uneasy to say the least.

“Do you think something is wrong?” Viktor asked the younger man

“No it’s probably just us overthinking it” Jayce said without his usual air of confidence.

“She’ll come home tonight” The statement was made seemingly as self-reassurance more than anything else.

Their day proved to be less than productive. Viktor spent the day waiting for James to come up to his workspace and ask him something or just have a conversation. While Jayce would keep asking James to pass him a tool, his hand stretched out waiting for the tool to be placed in it only to realize, in embarrassment, that she wasn’t there and he had his hand out waiting for nothing.

When they got home Viktor decided to make a specialty dish of Zaun, one that was rich with warm spices and brought comfort to him even as he had grown older. He wasn’t sure if he made it to comfort himself, Jayce or James.

The two men waited till James came home to eat. When she walked through the door and saw them, Viktor swore he saw something like disappointment cross her face.

“You’re home! Let’s eat!” Jayce moves to the table, excited to see James and at the prospect of eating.

“Oh, um I am not hungry, I will 𝜓at dinner later” She walks to her room leaving no room for discussion, closing the door behind her.

Jayce and Viktor look at each other, the former trying to keep a pout off his face and the latter trying not to look disheartened for the sake of his partner.

“I-....I am sure she has had a long day. Let us give her space” Viktor says hesitantly

They ate in mostly silence trying not to let their mood take hold, but if anyone else had been in that room, they would have wondered if the two men were a pair of kicked puppies.

When they went to bed around 12, the only indication that James was even in the house was the warm light sneaking out from the bottom of her door.

The next day isn’t better.

Just like yesterday, there was breakfast and a note. Today, it read slightly differently. It read, “I went to library, I study there, I come home at 8, do not wait for me to eat”. The last line felt like a slap to the face. They had done something to offend her and now she didn’t even want to eat with them anymore.

The same unproductive day passes. They eat dinner and wait read afterwards on the couch. When James comes home, Jayce pops off the couch.

“Do you wanna come to the forge with me tomorrow? It's a great way to relieve stress and it’s a ton of fun!” he asks as casually as he can (but let’s be realistic here, this is Jayce, it was about 3 degrees removed from casual).

“I w𝝠uld like to but I have to study” James responds and just like the night before leaves no room for argument.

They are left crestfallen in the living room.

“She seems to be improving her Piltovian very quickly, she is probably running off that energy and enthusiasm” Viktor offers tonight.

The third day passes the same.

Caitlyn comes to visit the lab and to see James everyone. She becomes as miserable as Jayce and Viktor when she realises James isn’t there.

Tonight, when James comes home, the boys can see her eyes look sunken in and red from strain. When Viktor suggests they go to a café for a quick study break in the afternoon, it’s met with rejection, no excuse this time.

When she closes her door, Viktor has no words of comfort to offer tonight. Jayce and Viktor head to bed for a night of restless sleep.

The fourth day is the worst by far.

Viktor doesn’t even think he writes a full complete sentence that day. Jayce takes two breaks midday to head to the forge and blow off steam while Viktor takes a nap in the lab. When they get home, they go to bed early.

Jayce thinks he wakes up sometime around 4 in the morning with his throat feeling parched, so he makes his way to the kitchen. He’s stopped by the sight of James sitting and studying at the table, however her eyes are glazed over and it doesn’t look like she’s even reading what’s on the page. He takes a moment to observe her. Her appearance sucks the air from his lungs. Her face looks drawn, almost sickly. The same cheeks that once held a rosy colour and fullness, are now missing, and he would have thought someone punched her with how dark her eyes looked.

He approached the kitchen making his steps louder so as to not scare her with his presence. She heard him but the only acknowledgement he got was a glance up and then a look of shame. When he filled his glass up at the sink, he also saw her dinner dish sitting by the side; some of it had been eaten but definitely not enough to fill anyone. He hesitated on going back to bed. He didn’t know what was happening to James, he didn’t know what to say or do. In the end he walked to his room.

He may not know what was happening but he would tell Viktor in the morning and whatever it was they would fix it together.

When they wake in the morning, he tells Viktor what he saw; This wasn’t the one or two off days they thought it might be on the first day, it was more serious than that and if they didn’t do something about it soon James looked like she might just fade away.

“I think we made her uncomfortable. Maybe we pushed her too hard or it was all too new, too soon” Viktor theorised.

“We’ll apologize tonight and make this right” Jayce to Viktor’s hand in his, trying to soothe his partner.

The only thing holding Viktor together through the day was knowing that she would come back home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James doesn’t come home.

8 o’clock passes and soon 9 o’clock too.

At 10, they go looking for her.

They find her slumped over a desk with notes and books scattered on the table. In the dead of the library no one has noticed the sleeping woman. Jayce and Viktor share a look of concern before waking her.

Her head jolts up.

“What are you doing here?” she questions in alarm.

“James, it’s 10:20, you did not come home. We thought something had happened to you” Viktor replies

Her face contorts in distress. She covers a hand over her mouth.

“I am so sorry, 𝝠𝝺 𝟇𝞾 𝝋𝝠𝛴, 𝛃’𝟇 𝞏𝝠 𝞏𝝠𝞀𝞀𝞾!” Her eyes starting to water as she talks “I did not know, I 𝟄𝝠𝞏𝞔, 𝝇𝞒𝝃𝝥! I lost the time, I fell asleep”

“James it is okay, we were just worried” Viktor takes her hand, trying to provide her a modicum of comfort.

Jayce, standing away from James, had been unusually quiet since the moment they found her.

“Why are you doing this?” He finally speaks. James looks up at him. His face is scrunched in frustration.

“What?” she said, her voice barely audible.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you spending every single hour of the day studying? Why aren’t you sleeping or eating? Why are you avoiding us? Did we do something wrong? Tell us so we can fix it because it’s not fair to us. We can’t fix what we’ve done if we don’t know what it is” His voice rising with desperation.

Her head hangs down as shame fills her body. When she meets his eyes again, Jayce wishes he kept his mouth closed as he sees tears fall down her face.

“I am a 𝜣𝞒𝞀𝛴𝜓𝞖…. a burden here, I am a 𝜣𝞒𝞀𝛴𝜓𝞖 to you. All I have done is interrupt your lives, eat your food, live in your 𝝺𝝠𝟇𝜓, your house. I do not have way to pay back, to give back” She tries to hold her voice steady but it waivers. She wraps her arms around her body, one hand rubbing her bicep to self-soothe “𝛃 𝞖𝜓𝜓𝛴, I need to learn fast, I need to find way home, so I do not bother you anymore, so you do not hate me. I do not want you to hate me, I can’t- ”

She’s cut off by Jayce pulling her into his arms. As the shock wears off, silent sobs wrack her body as she relaxes into the hug. Her head rests in the crook of his neck as he tries to hold her as tight as he can, worried if he lets go she might disappear.

He only loosened his arms to welcome Viktor, who looked at him with pleading eyes, wanting to comfort her somehow. They don’t know how long the three of them stand there embraced, but her tears eventually ease up and they pull apart. Viktor places his hands on her cheeks and uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears.

Viktor is the first to speak

“You are not a burden, you are not a bother and we do not hate you. I do not think we could hate you even if you tried.” Viktor says gently but firmly, leaving no room for misinterpretation. “You are a new welcome inclusion into our lives, not an interruption”

Jayce holds her hand and adds “You don’t need to pay us or give something back. We’re helping you because you’re our friend. If you want to learn Plitovian to get home that’s fine but don’t think you have to learn because we don’t want you here. We want you to stay with us for as long as you want to”

“I am s𝝠rry”

“No sorrys, you have nothing to apologize for,” Viktor holds her hand in his right as he guides her to the exit “Let us go home, yes? I believe one of us still needs to eat”

As they walk home, the two men never let go of her hand. She’s trapped in her own thoughts going over the events of the night and the past couple days. Jayce stops her before she can fall too far down the rabbit hole of her mind.

“I can hear you thinking too much,” He gently squeezes her hand, “we want you here.”

James looks at him almost like she believes him but there’s still a hint of doubt there. Viktor senses this and speaks up.

“How about this? When you feel like you are intruding or being a burden or anything else, ask me. Ask us. And we will tell you. Honestly”

“Honestly?”

“Yes, here like this” Viktor’s eyes shimmered with mirth, “Jayce did you drink the last of my sweetmilk last week?”

“Yes” he grumbled under his breath, his signature pout now apparent on his face. James giggled at his confession and quickly Jayce’s pout was replaced by a soft smile at seeing her laugh again.

When they arrived home, she ate and once she reassured the boys she would be okay, they all went to bed. Well, minus Jayce who tossed and turned for 2 hours before going to sleep on the couch. He wanted to make sure James went to sleep and didn’t get up in the middle of the night. He worried if she was too far away she’d leave the house again but this time she’d disappear and he would never see her again.

Notes:

Oh my god, I’m so sorry! = 𝝠𝝺 𝟇𝞾 𝝋𝝠𝛴, 𝛃’𝟇 𝞏𝝠 𝞏𝝠𝞀𝞀𝞾!, Lost, fuck! = 𝟄𝝠𝞏𝞔, 𝝇𝞒𝝃𝝥!, burden = 𝜣𝞒𝞀𝛴𝜓𝞖, Home = 𝝺𝝠𝟇𝜓, I need = 𝛃 𝞖𝜓𝜓𝛴

Taglist: @im-just-a-simp-le-whore

[yoohyeon]

My dad will be home before 4pm so I’m going to this place where they can help you find a job and I think I’m ready to go back working but I’m also terrified 😭

[eternal-reverie]

got the posting anxiety bad tonight

[funeralprocessor]

.

[haedia]

Right there with you, especially the end bit. I like to think a similar kind of thing. Headcanon journey under the cut.

Like, it pleases me to consider Rook telling Spite that it's alright if he comes to them when Lucanis needs sleep, especially if he's bored. My Rook's sleep schedule is kind of fucked anyway so it's not like Spite is gonna make it worse.

It takes awhile for Lucanis to really get comfortable with Spite doing things while he's out but knowing that the people around him are keeping an eye on Spite helps. And, Spite gets more comfortable with them in return.

I can see him going to them with questions about the world outside of the Fade and having fun exploring those differences... once he gets over frustrations about how those differences affect Lucanis' body (like, say, gravity or how eating candles would hurt him, etc)

And I loooove the idea of the different members of the team taking Spite out on "walks" to different places when he gets particularly restless. Emmrich has some glasses made for him that hide his glowing eyes when they're out and about, so they don't have to worry (as much) about Spitecanis being noticed as an abomination.

Spite gets to experience food in it's full glory, though he finds it overwhelming at first. It's only later, when they learn to "share" Lucanis' body simultaneously that he begins to develop his own appreciation for flavors, separate (or, as separate as possible for them) from Lucanis. The fact that he can feel how Lucanis feels when experiencing taste allows him access to a framework for interpreting the sensations for himself.

It'd be like going from a fuzzy shot of flowers on a sunny day, a bright riot of color blobs, to an in-focus image of the same — suddenly crisp but you can take a moment to savor and choose how you move your focus around the scene.

But after he starts to figure it out? He wants to learn to make things like that, too. And thus begins his cooking arc. It's a disaster to start, of course, but it amuses Rook and that alone soothes Spite's frustration at his early floundering. Eventually, he starts to develop his skills though his annoyance about what ingredients he can and can't use never really goes away.

"Spite, you can't put that rock in the soup"

"It reminds me. Of our walk."

"The rock or the soup?"

"Yes. Both. They go together"

"They can go together on the table, then. But you can't put that rock in the soup"

Spite opens his mouth to say more and Rook interjects

"Even if you washed it. You can't"

Spite grumbles and puts the rock back on the counter.

"Spite." Rook says and draws his attention back to them "It *is* a pretty rock, though. I remember where you found it."

"It IS pretty. Like glass. Like a rainy day" Spite beams at them before returning to stirring the soup.

Anyway. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about Lucanis and Spite — at all points in their journey. Though, the warm fuzzies I get for their post-Inner Demons relationship are nearly unending.

Knowing what was actually going on between Spite and Lucanis, I felt really bad for Spite during my second play through. He is trying so hard to talk to Rook and explain, but he is new to this world and doesnt know how to explain it. He actually does attempt to explain what is wrong several times and if Rook had really listened to what the demon was saying, might have realized something was wrong. But, by virtue of being an abomination/demon, the group was poisoned against Spite, so everything Spite does is viewed with suspicion and no one gets it.

Like I see why Emmrich is so nonchalant around Spite from the beginning because he can actually hear what Spite was saying and while he doesn’t fully understand what Spite was getting at, he can see Spite isn’t malignant or malicious. Spite really is just a little shade trying his best in a world that he doesn’t get and who doesn’t get him. I really like the idea that once Inner Demons is over, Rook attempts to actually get to know Spite, because Spite deserves the chance.

[running-in-the-dark]

the apartment we looked at today was really bad - like, one room was missing half the flooring and they (the landlord) just put carpet over it. luckily it was only the current tenant there, though - she told us about the landlord and that she's... not great. so even if the apartment had been decent we wouldn't have been interested after that.

[peapod20001]

I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3