#but theres still possibilities in older stuff idk man im just saying

[mbat]

maybe this is more of a thing than i know of but sometimes i think about how theres so many things that are similar to wands in everyday life but i basically never see them as wands in fiction

like years ago when i first started trying to play pool i thought 'wouldnt it be so fun if a characters wand looked like a tiny pool stick, and they could make it full sized when they want to play pool'

but theres also other hobby items, like knitting needles, or pencils, or paint brushes, or even crochet hooks for a slightly unusually shaped one

and idk i just always thought it was neat. they dont even have to change size for some of them, though they still could of course

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[crystu-cii]

XDD

I f e e l that pain in my soul-- my older sister uses cologne sometimes and it is sO STRONG AND WILL NOT STAY CONFINED TO HER ROOM-- AMD SOMETIMES SHED DO IT IN THE DOORWAY LIKE HELLO-- XDD

YEAH WH GET SOME SLEEP LEAVE THE STAYING UP TO US-- XDD

YES BABY JAIL, INTO THE UPSIDE DOWN LAUNDRY BASKET YOU KNIFE-WIELDING HEATHEN-- XDD oms XDD well I don't know them but I love them- YESSS THEYRE SO FLUFFY-- I'm actually curious what images pop up first imma check-- FLUFFY PUPPIES-- we've actually never owned ones that fluffy(those actually look more similar to shetland sheepdogs than the shelties we've had so far?? Very similar/similar enough where if someone doesn't know a sheltie we mention shetland sheepdogs), our current one is a purebred that we got for free(she was being given away bc her family never came back for her and the lady taking care of her couldn't afford the time to take care of a second dog long-term think) and she's got pretty short fur in comparison- still fluffy enough, but not quite so long of fur-- she's a blue merle(absolutely gorgeous fur, she's like 8 now with a lot of health problems but she's super loving still 💕💞) anyways about the fur, so long as you brush regularly you should mitigate most of that, and it mostly collects in corners- but like.. be prepared to eat and wear dog fur for the rest of your life-- (actually there's a thing called a fur zapper we bought recent that you put in with your clothes when you wash/dry them(I think it's dry but idk??) that's supposed to get a lot of hair off your clothes in that process? Also lint rollers are your best friend--) AND roombas are really helpful(we bought a knockoff one and rarely have to sweep ever so 👀) XDD WHEEZE I can't even imagine what you did-- but like you could ask for a budgie/parakeet /hj I mean, they aren't very expensive (actually they're pretty cheap) but they're very loud, need a lot of attention(especially if you want them to bond to you!) and you need to research into them a lot to make sure you're doing things right-- loads of vids online!! Loads of websites too!!! I'd know I have one- JUST A WARNING, FEATHERS AND SEED HULLS GET ALL OVER YOUR FLOOR XD p l u s like you have a friend who knows stuff about birbs :3 anyways ENOUGH RAMBLING FROM ME WOW THAT GOT LONG--

💕💕 I feel that XD OMS-- I WISH-- WHAT A D R E A M - s n a k - Awww but what a mood XD

XDDD oms YES-- EXACTLY-- XDDDD another good thing you should try eventually is SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE WHICH IS APPARENTLY DELICIOUS??? I TRIED IT FOR THE FIRST TIME(AT LEAST IN A WHILE) TODAY AND IT WAS SO FUCKIN TASTY????

H E A THEN-- XDD how cool of them to try tho :3 whEEZE Y 'A LL-- XDD

WHEEZE I SUCK WITH INSTRUMENTS SOOOO-- DAMN THA'S SOME BAD LUCK MY DUDE-- MAYBE YOU'RE CURSED DAMN-- oms wOWW--

Yesss-- ooh I've never played 👀 seen some stuff but never played-- (see: my computer sucks XD) I h a v e played Portal 1 and it is SO GOOD and SO SHORT and I WISH I HAD GOTTEN PORTAL 2 INSTEAD BUT THATS OKAY CRIES-- YESSSS THE SONGS SLAP--- ALSO THERE ARE ACTUALLY TWO WHOLE MORE CANON(PROBABLY KINDA MAYBE NOT?? IDK) SONGS, ONE FROM A LEG DIMENSIONS GAME("You Wouldn't Know") AND ONE THAT WAS CUT FROM PORT TWO("Don't Say Goodbye"(Harry101UK made an edit to make it Glados' voice!!)) THERE ARE ALSO A BUNCH OF GOOD FAN SONGS SO YEAH-- ALSO NOT TO BE A SIMP BUT GLADOS' VOICE? PERFECTION. I LOVE HER. ALSO I COULD LITERALLY DETAIL THE PORTAL LORE I AM INCREDIBLY EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THIS GAME-- ALSO THERES A CLIP THAT SOMEONE MADE USING A (VERY GOOD) GLADOS TTS TO HAVE GLADOS SAY TRANS RIGHTS AND ENBY RIGHTS AND IF I FIND IT AGAIN ILL SEND IT TO YOU-- YOU COULD PROBABLY FIND IT IF YOU LOOM UP GLADOS SAYS TRANS RIGHTS? IT HAS A VIDEO WITH TRANS FLAG COMPANION CUBES ACCOMPANYING IT-- ALSO YES THE PORT MODS(/ADD-ONS? MAYBE? THEY'RE COMMUNITY MADE I THINK BUT IDK ALL I KNOW IS THAT THEYRE COOL AF--) (also I apologize for all the screaming? XD it's like, four am and I was talking about portal so.. whoops?)

Right like wth???? I???? Okay but like December to February babies just fuckin DONT EXIST IN THIS GEN OR SOMETHIN-- CAUSE I FIND N O N E -- Maybe there are more December babies but there are definitely like NO January to February babies it is So Weird--

NEJFQOBGKW WOWW d an g like-p l e a se s t op over sp r aying-- xD and LEGITTTT LIKE- THAT WAS M Y ROLE TO STAY UP LATE- XDD

WHEHEHEZE- LAUNDRY BASKET TIME- G E T I N XDD anD YESS- any doggo is just such a cute doggo 😭💞💞 but for me- fLUFFY ONES ARE WHERE ITS A T- and ohhhh i see- FOR FREE?? W H A T A S T E A L XDD but awwww the poor doggg at least she's with you now ! ;0;; 💞💞😭 aaw such a lovable puppup 😭😭💞 and oHHH i see :00 but oh no- xD i also have a friend that has two dogs and whenever he would give me gifts- there would be dog hair on them no matter what- XDD and ooOhhh those sound really helpful! omg- i swear i dont have to have a pet for the need of a roomba- i already shed so much hair myself its so crazy-- xDD and oH MAN loud animals are really gon get my mom fired up- and OO birds just look so cuteee i always fantasize of having one- but then again- with the noise and all xD the more i think about it i dont think we are prepared to have a pet at all xD but i still dream of at least having one pet in my lifetime!

and OO that sounds awesome!! i have no clue if i even tried casserole before- man- sometimes i just eat food without even knowing wth it is XDDD but THAT SOUNDS so gooodddd :O

and LEGITT LIKE- TF IS HAPPENING WITH MY SCHOOL LIFE- XDD and oh my god- IT GETS WORSE- that year there was a FREAKINGG FIREEEEEEE- it wasnt that dangerous thank god- but it had to get a whole ass room renovated because of it- and guess what room it was- THE ORCHESTRA ROOM- AND GUESS WHAT M A D E I T W OR SE- that year- it was the first time the school replaced those 10+ year old instruments with new ones- NOW THEYRE B U R N T- and mind you that the school's budget isnt so- gr e a t- like oh my god i am still so bewildered over HOW MUCH chaos HAPPENED that year- and i thought that year was gon be the year- yknow? like UGH

and OHH MANN playing portal sounds awesome! but i just dont think the game would be worth my money cause i know the plot- and even with the mods and all my brain would be broken as i would possibly have no clue what to do- xDDD

and HOOOO MANNN game fan songs are just so AWESOMEEE- and those sound pretty cool! :OO and HOLY SHIT FUCK YEAH- GLADOS SAYS TRANS AND ENBY RIGHTS Y A LL- now im gonna look that up and let my ears be blessed by such words- XDDD and DONT WORRY BOUT SCREAMING ALOT- i scream a whole dam lot too XDD

and LEGITTT- finding someone's b-day in january and feb is so rare all of a sudden like wh a t - XDD

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

[bluepluto03]

mcu spiderman rewrite/au i may or may not do

ok so first quick disclaimer! i do not hate the mcu spider man movies in any way!! i actually enjoy them quite a bit and have seen homecoming like 4 times! and i absolutely adore all the actors in the movies, especially tom, zendaya, and jacob 

but the problem w/ the mcu spiderman movies is,,, they’re just not spiderman. at least from a writing/thematic perspective, which sucks bc so much other stuff about them is great! like tom holland is the perfect peter parker, which is why it seems so close to being right, but with the way the script is actually written... it’s just. not spider-man. 

i feel the need to explain all this/my problems w/ the movies b4 i get into the actuall au idea/plot, so please bear with me for a sec

for context, I’ve loved spiderman my whole life. i’d watch the cartoons when i was younger, and then went back and watched them all again when i was a bit older and figured out how to pirate stuff lol. i didn’t really know how to get into the comics, so i just kinda read wikis and got second-hand info from fanfics and the other movies

to me, spiderman, (at least, peter parker spiderman,) was always about like... a kid, who saw the world was broken and fixed it because he could. he had the power to fix stuff, so he did. 

as a kid w/ mental illness and a not so great home life... that was something really really important to me. to see another kid out there, who’s been through some shit, but finally has the power to make stuff better, so he is! and it would make me think, maybe i can change stuff for the better, someday, if i just get my chance

but,,,,, the problem is mcu peter parker isn’t that. 

instead of becoming spiderman bc he knows there’s bad in the world and wants to fix it, suddenly his motivation is impressing tony stark?? and don’t get me wrong i don’t hate tony, but the way they wrote his and peter’s relationship basically trapped peter. he could no longer be his own hero, bc he was tony’s successor. and that's never who peter parker’s spiderman was?? he was never a follower, he was a trendsetter. he didn’t become spiderman for approval, hell he had dozens of newspapers constantly slandering him. 

honestly the following in someone else’s footsteps thing was always a miles morales thing. he had to step up to the plate and fill the shoes of a spiderman who had already existed for years and was beloved by the whole city. obviously thats not all he is and simplifying his character to that is incredibly obtuse, but i bring it up bc tbh alot of stuff w/ mcu peter parker is just straight-up ripped off from miles morales. like how peter now goes to a fancy private school, is no longer poor (which is a huge thing w/ peter parker’s character in like every other incarnation), has a living father figure, and is bffs w/ ned, who is a straight-up rip off of miles’s best friend ganke. (for the record tho i adore ned and jacob i’m def keeping him in my rewrite,,,, also i’m glad he’s in the movie bc having a plus sized poc protagonist thats not constantly mocked is incredible) 

so, i’m complaining about all this stuff lol but ur probably wondering how exactly how i wanna fix it lol,,,, 

first, give peter an arc thats more than just..... i want tony to believe in me. my idea for that is basically a type of thing where he learns to rely on others! bc like... peter isn’t good at working w/ others lol, he’d much rather do it all himself so no one else gets hurt. (like in the andrew garfield movies where he just,,,, webs his gf to a car so she can’t run into danger lmao) 

the plot would start at a similar ish position to homecoming, though tony never recruits peter for civil war. tbh not sure if it even happened but we’ll disscuss that later

peter’s been spiderman for a few months, after a trip to oscorp left him w/ a radioactive spider bite. currently no one knows about it, and he’s doing a pretty ok job of dealing w/ everything on his own. until he takes down a big bad, lets say rhino for now, and gains a ton of publicity. after stooping a hudge disaster he’s suddenly in the limelight, and catches the attention of one norman osborn, aka the green goblin 

now, quick sidenote. green goblin is genreally seen as pretty goofy, but there are comic versions of him that are legit terrifying. if im being honest i didn’t even know about that version until i read aloneintherains fic birds eating other birds so ig thats kinda ish how i’m imagining this version of norman? though alot more composed, like the man who could someday turn into that 

so norman becomes intrested in my boy peter, and starts sending ppl after him. possibly the sinister 6, but uhh maybe not bc tbh i think this “rewrite” needs to be split into 2 “movies”/works and i might wanna save that for the hypothetical pt2 (btw if i write this it won’t b for a while cause i got other stuff going on but ig if ppl are intrested i might write some snippits/make more content for it) 

so basically the main plot is peter dealing w/ all these big bads on his own, doing ok at first but later getting really fucked up, and eventually revealing himself to ned and mj which ends up being the only way he can save the day in the end. by relying on others! yay!! 

thats it for the main plot, but don’t worry y’all we got other stuff going on too lmao 

so, for one. my boy peter is realizing he has a crush and just,,,, freaking tf out. (i have yet to decide if it’s on ned or mj. or both. sue me) the crush isn’t definitely resolved in p1, but i imagine there’d be some cute thing of him suddenly realizing and freaking out and almost revealing his powers. 

thing 2! tony stark! he is still in here, and still a mentor to peter, but in a pretty drastically different way. one, he doesn't know about peter being spiderman. he doesn't even suspect it lmao. he just gets involved bc of.... some sort of reason bc peter is so smart. do i know why just yet? no. does it matter? probably but i’m writing this pretty late after i had school all day so i’m too tired to care 

bc tony basically gives peter a real internship/mentorship type thing, peter now has access to all this tech!! and all these funds!! fucking lit!! so he changes from his pajama suit to the fancy one, tho he actually built it!! which i feel like him making his suit is a really big really important part of his character. so it doesn't really have all those random things tony added, tho peter might add stuff himself. he gets Karan as a like assistant ai as part of his internship but she never gets put into the suit

for the fist part tony plays a super minor role but like,,,, the first part is about osborn taking an intrest in him, and him confiding in ned and mj. the second part norman is become progressively more dangorus and peter has to fight him and stuff, kinda proving he is strong enough to be spiderman/be trusted to the whole world, beyond just ned and mj. also him actually getting together w/ either one or both of them bc...... bc i want that. 

oh btw idk if tony finds out or not in p2? if he does it’s either at the end or in a scene like the one w/ may bc like. please imagine the shenanigans of peter and ned (who both have high intellegence but low wisdom) in tony’s lab, obviously trying to hide the fact that peter’s spiderman. like he walks in on them and peter looks all frumpy bc he’s been trying to change real fast, and ned’s shirt is messed up bc he just stuffed the mask down the front of it, and mj is just. chilling behing them. so tony just like assumes stuff and is like....aight.... have fun.... 

oh btw the last big change that i didn’t really have anyway to insert natrually into this,,,, so remember how i said ned was kinda a ripoff of ganke? well, the writers claim he’s a “composite character” so i figured, why not give him traits from other famous spiderman side character so he actually is a composite character! 

so like,,,, throughout p1 it’s referenced that ned has a kinda dickish estranged ish dad that he hates and his mom doesn't really like but kinda forces him too... theres some mentions of his dad wanting him to transfer to a private school and being kinda rich, bur he dosen’t want to bc he knows his dad is a total dickead,,,, anyway end of the movie we find out norman osborn is ned’s dad, and ned hates him even fucking more bc it’s like bitch?? u tried to get my (maybe) bf murdered?? tf?? and its lowkey bc he can’t reveal peter’s id, but then in p2 after norman takes matters into his own hands and tries to kill peter on his own ned just fucking yells at him while the man is in jail and is like fuck u lmao 

soooo thats my really messy au idea!! i’m really tired sorry if this is hard to understand or rude! for the record i have nothing against the ppl who adore these movie’s, i just think they could be better! 

[nneoculture]

hidden relationship with idol!mark (requested)

request: hidden relationship with idol!mark plsss ♥

a/n: here you go anon!! thank you so much for requesting! i hope you like it!!!! im personally not satisfied with the ending but idk :( pls read my other stuff:

 hidden relationship w idol!jaehyun 

having a crush on mark

genre: fluff

you and mark have been dating for about a month and a half????

so like you got close bc you were classmates at sopa and you always liked him but you never thought he liked you back bc he was mark!!! lee!!!!! and he was close w everybody so u didn't think much of it

and one day in class when he actually came to class after 4 days bc of promotions he’s like “y/n do you have a minute” and ur like ??? yeah ofc

and while nobody’s looking he hands u a lil envelope and tells you to open it when u get home

so ur confused but ur like ok thanks dude

so u get home and drop ur things and open it right away

and its a LONG ASS NOTE but to cut it short he pretty much said that he always liked you and its okay if you don’t feel the same and he wanted to tell you in person but he was too shy but didnt wanna do it by text either so he wrote you a letter

and your heart is going HFFHJDHDJHJHGJHGJH

then you calm down and u shoot him a text like “hey i read your letter :)”

and he replies SO FAST he’s like “oh u did”

and ur like “yeah i like u a lot too :)”

and marks like “THATS A RELIEF’

then he asks if u wanna hang out tomorrow at this lil convenience store nobody goes to

But ur like “aw i have work” then ding ding ding u remember your moms cafe is always empty so u invite him over

and hes like oh thats a great idea!!!!!! and yeah ur first date is basically during your 1 hour break and its cute even tho you’re still wearing your work clothes

and thats how mark became a regular at the cafe

so as your relationship grows you both agree to tell the company and the members after promotions and after they’re busy making music

so yes one day you and mark plan on having a lil date at the cafe

and marks about to leave the dorm when donghyucks like “yo mark can i come with u”

and marks like “NO” and donghyucks like ?????

mark goes “i mean i’ll be back right away anyway you don’t have to come”

and donghyucks like “i just gotta buy something real quick let me just put on my shoes”

and while donghyucks putting his shoes on mark leaves as fast as he can

donghyuck comes out and he’s suspicious now so he’s like “yuta hyung doyoung hyung i think marks onto something”

so they try to follow him but they lose him n now they’re tired and decide to sit down inside a cafe ,,, you know exactly what cafe i’m talking about

but you and mark are sitting on the opposite side where the boys can’t possibly see you unless they stand up

and you’re just talking to mark n stuff

and you’re like “hey how are your members”

and he’s like “they’re good,,, donghyuck almost followed me here”

you’re like “oh god that wouldve been bad” and he’s like “yeah good thing i left him”

n ur like ,,, falling asleep on his shoulder and he’s like “you seem tired ,,, you still have 40 minutes left so you should probably take a nap”

and you’re like “noooo we barely see each other” but he’s like “no really take a nap, i’ll wake you up 10 minutes before your break ends”

so u fall asleep on his shoulder like wtf thats so cute

then your co-worker approaches the 3 boys and goes “excuse me but you have to order if you wanna sit here”

and doyoungs like oh yeah shit hold on

so the older boys send donghyuck to the cashier and he keeps protesting but thats what you get when you’re the maknae

and after he gives his order he just casually looks around ,, and there he sees mark ,,,, scrolling through his phone with a girl sleeping on his shoulder

his eyes widen and he’s like “pssst doyoung hyung yuta hyung” and they’re like “WHAT DO U WANT WE ALREADY GAVE U OUR ORDER”

and he’s like “ITS NOT THAT SHUT UP AND COME HERE”

and they’re annoyed but they follow anyway and donghyuck points at you and mark and they’re all SHOOK

they all walk to where you guys are seated and mark looks up when he hears the footsteps

mark’s like “oh crap” and doyoungs like “so who’s this” while looking at your sleeping figure

and mark shushes them and goes “this is y/n”

and yuta’s like “y/n?????”

donghyucks whisper yelling like “IS THIS YOUR GIRLFRIEND” and mark slowly nods and he’s actually being calm about this but ya

apparently donghyucks whisper yelling is pretty damn loud and it woke you up

you open your eyes to see 3 other members of nct staring at you and you’re like “aw crap”

doyoung asks you if you’re marks gf

and theres really no point in denying so ur like “yeah”

donghyucks whining like a baby to mark he’s like “IM YOUR BEST FRIEND WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME”

marks like “NOWS NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO TELL ANYBODY”

so the boys calm down eventually and now theyre getting to know you and stuff and it seems like they really like you as a person and as marks gf

then suddenly doyoungs strict mom mode is on and he’s like “i’m giving you three days to tell the company or i will”

and marks like HYUNG WHAT THE HELL and you’re getting really scared of doyoung

but dy’s like “bc i really like her and im 100% sure the company won’t split you guys apart. i just want you two to go on real dates without having to hide”’

and you’re like pinching marks arm bc YOU CAN’T BELIEVE DOYOUNG IS THIS SUPPORTIVE because mark always talks about how he nags on everyone 

so yeah the next day you and mark go to sm and tell them about your relationship and true to doyoungs words they didnt split you up, but you won’t go public yet either, which is fine with you

then he takes you to the dorm to meet the members and they’re all so nice to you and donghyucks still a lil bitter but jokes around about you stealing his man

taeyong jokingly says he’ll keep an eye on you and that mark is his son

marks like ,,, super embarrassed by how his members are acting but you honestly think its cute

the two of you are just so happy that the members like you and you don’t have to secretly go on dates in the cafe

the end

[nieloxychen]

time to ramble abt a weird and super real feeling dream i had that ill now try to make a story and multiple ocs out of

important: takes part across several worlds with one single connecting character. most of the ocs exist in the last, most recent world (that main oc tries his fucking best to stay in bc its actually not a complete dumpster fire)

main oc is tito (he/him, they/them, it/its on occasion)

world 0 - 

doesnt remember much

his origin

died in a car(?) crash somewhere in a desert next to a broken down rv

world 1 -

 wakes up semi corporeal somewhere in a desert next to a broken down rv

something bad (not defined yet) happened and a young woman is hiding in the rv from the sth bad that happened

shes looking fr her sister

tito cant help but help her out and they look for her together since 2 is better than 1

she has been looknig for help for a while

no one has been willing to since she thinks her sister is in the middle of the bad thing

(also the big city. lots of gross stuff everywhere, lots of ppl trying to murder)

no one wants to go there

they go together and nearly die a lot

both get infected w a strange illness

shes geting better, hes slowly dying

they find the sister (why she was there idk yet) and tito basicly sacrifices themself so the sisters can escape the bad thing

badly wounded he crawls away into an alley and breaks down next to some trash cans

(just remembered that somewhere in this world there was like a hill made of grey bodies all weaved together and like tunnels in there and the arms were moving and shit what)

colour here were mostly grey and brown

world 2 -

wakes up in an alley next to some trash

hears music, its a festival!! 

he goes to check it out, its a sports thing w like speed and stuff! 

seems like a nice place right? wrong. 

that sport is forced, loser gets sacrificed to big weird monster thing

 kind of a hunger games situation happens, he offers himself up so a parent isnt seperated from a child (just cant not help, its a bad decision and they get that but they just *clenches fist* hero comlpex a bit)

obviously looses, he doesnt fucking know the sport, what did he expect? 

BUT the infection from world 1 did sth to him? (superpowers kinda, has no clue what anything is or does) 

hes still affected by it somehow and is able to escape the ppl leading him to the monster thing to eat

finds out they picked a rando instead and feels bad

tries to save the rando

figures out monster thing is basicly a big fungus that uses ppl to carry spores 

-> the infection he carries infects a spore carries and they die immediatly

quick plan: infect fungus w a disease it is completly unkonw to

doesnt work, spore carriers actually are connected to fungus, its building anti-bodies

he dies in the sewers trying to escape the ppl feeding the fungus.

world 3 - 

wakes up in the sewers

THERS WERE-PPL!! dont change into any specific animal, but tend to have a favourite

theyre kinda nice, help them out, give them food 

they accidentally get infected through shenanigans (it was very non-specific in the dream yo)

tries to figure out both infection based power systems here, quicker to get the were-thing since ppl aroung them actually know what that is. everything else is just weird to everyone

also - possibility of first infection evolving through each world change? didnt notice powers in world 1, only some in world 2, more here?

BUT also very little time to try and figure shit out till now

very chill for a while, hopes they can settle down and maybe not die maybe

SURPRISE children are getting kidnapped!!

by who?? to where? why??? no fucking clue!!

so tito goes to help bc thats just what theydo by now fuck

gets captured, basicly forced to do what kidnappers want w threat of children getting killed (im just gonna say they were able to do them damage for a while before the kidnappers figured out who he is/ a weakness. there was no reason anywhere)

they find a hole in the command chain, go out in a blaze of glory, all the kidnappers are gone (as far as they know)

theyre also very dead and bleed out in the middle of a field

world 4 - 

HOLY SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING

flying vampires, flesh-goo ppl (idk, the pic i remember was a lady changing into a black-greyish flesh-goo to climb up 90° walls in a seond), theres slenderman maybe????? all kinda sorta want to kill tito for the reason of...

well there has to be a reason he keeps waking up in different worlds right?

but hes not super good at thinking and they dont stop to explain it so??

arent just trying to kill him though, theres also some old man theyre going after

helps the old man, is the grandchild (adopted) of some immortal lady

she is very thankful and gives him the gift of 3 very specific magic powers of his choosing (theyre like marbles and he has to pick 3)

1. Open any door anywhere (doesnt need to be connected) and just wish to go to a place (the more specific the better)

2. Change anything he wants to into a small marble though sheer will power. has to concentrate to keep the shape

3. basicly featherfall but more controlled. actually, more like steven universe floating powers

by now the first infection is basicly a magic system of its own but its all very instinct based. poor tito has no fucning clue

the colour here were very bright, lots of flowers and sunshine and stuff

and just a fucking slenderman flying behing dream-me, blasting through houses and trees and shit?

dies after being chased by flying slender-vampire and goo lady (wasnt fighting back bc they were proctecting sth? idk what though) in like an abandoned farmhouse

world 5 -

wakes up in farmhouse, theres a person!

ocs here we go

person is helke. shes nice but kind of scary sometimes. its mostly a joke for her though

she helps him get used to the world

his powers are by now vry fucking op. but there are SO many powers here too and she fills him in

silver minds: can sense things like weapons if theyre being carried w the intent to harm them or someone they want to look out for. can redirect them against their users, or just stop them alltogether. somewhat staticy voice when stressed, very cold to the touch. born this way

schalks: completly immune to mind intrusion based powers. somewhat of a pack mentality. cannot be located if they dont want to be, very selective in what contact they want. group together for social contact, and also: need contact to eachother bc they need to share excess energy between eachother or they kinda implode. infection based, 2 schalks can have schalk bbys but not often

werewolves: ya only wolves. helke is one! grow up in packs, but adults tend to seperate from larger packs to form their own. can change whenever, super strong always, also fast when changed. just really like raw meat yk? born this way, packs can be made up from basicly anything

more im gonna add, but these i remember. not including the names

basicly helke wants to start a pack and invites him to stay since she doesnt like being alone and wants to help, and ofc he wants to help her

they meet another young werewolf (i think. big fighty and a beard. might be sth else at some point) and he joins them. this is nikola

they meet a young girl, whos a silver mind and kinda running away from home bc bad home life. her names rita.

they invite her to join the pack, which she does and pack rules are kinda big so after proving themselves as reasonably good guardians for her shes officially adopted

she runs into a lonely (very lonely, kinda dying) schalk who lost contact to their group and the pack help them find their group.

their name is an

the group becomes kinda part of the pack, but the rest of the schalk group isnt a fan of big groups of ppl, so the 4 schalks and the 4-pack live in different locations

now /someone/ notices tito like how goop-slener-vamp did in world 4 and tries to capture tito (who was hanging out w rita while that happened.

thank fuck for marble magic, so rita is safe, tito can flee to the schalks (take us somewhere safe)

an turns tito into a schalk, so he wont be found anymore so now he has to kind of move between the 2 camps a lot

on their way to and fro they meet another kid called jacko (also running away, wont say why). is taken into the pack after more safety precautions

hes just a lil human, no magic nothing 

thats the story ig

tito - (he/they/it), roughly 25 (time is weird) not good at thinking, wants to be nice, wants to help, very op, kinda whimsical, very sweet person. DOES NOT WANT TO DIE AGAIN it sucks just want to be happy and make others happ, protective big sibling, everyone is their baby sib

helke - (she/her), 27 wants to help and have a big family/pack, big jokester, tries to be scary, only strangers will believe that, great at handywork and making every sort of meat food. also hunting. lumberjack vibe, chills w nikola, sports w tito, gmaes w kids

nikola - (he/him), 24 chill weed vibe. big fan of cleaning, lock your door if you dont want him to do your laundry. big into birdwatching. somehow in a pack w very intense or op folk which he finds a bit intimidating. doesnt realise hes also big intimidating. has gotten into 3 fights in his life but they were SCARY af, safe zone for tito, fun zone w tito

rita - (she/her), 15 good girl, can be kinda scary, very competetive, VERY COMPETATIVE, will draw hearts on your cast and help you and stuff, after having broken your arm, close w helke and tito

jacko - (he/him), 11 good boy, v shy, v opinionated. would have a blog if older. tried to make one but fled after 1 bad interaction. had to talk abt that a lot to understand it. arts n crafts boy, also climbing, looks up to nikola a lot

an - (they/them), 26 very quiet, thinks theyre right p much always, wants the best for everyone, but not super great at respecting ppls wishes. needs sense knocked into them every now and then. tries very hard. fails. plyam w leena and karim, not good w nikola

leena (she/them), 25, big into animals, big into food, big into random interest of the week. looses interest quickly though

karim (he/him), 26, big art, the one braincell between all the schalks (including tito bc omg BOY), draws creepy things on trees to fuck w ppl, prankster fuck

essek (he/they) 24, fashion and food, loudest of the schalks, goes into the city to get neccessities and general stuff, kinda crushing on tito, sib of karim

in general, the pack is very close. even an and nikola, but theyre kinda cold since an turned tito (tito is ok w it, nikola is big mad an didnt give tito an option, big fight 3, very fucking scary). but they do love eachother a lot, what ive noted were just the stand outs.

same w the schalks, theyre very close but i havent had any of these long enough to get a super good feel on the relationships between eeryone

but i love them already

[bloo-star-sinner]

Trans Stuff

You don’t need dysphoria to be trans, but having incongruence with your gender is important. If you don’t have an incongruence with your birth gender, or gender dysphoria, you shouldn’t try to medically transition or rally that it shouldn’t be covered by medical insurance.  I say this including euphoria. If you are gender euphoric, that means you have gender incongruence as well. I’m not saying dysphoria, im saying incongruence, a disconnect with your birth gender. But im also not policing anyone’s identity, more of a hard suggestion not to transition without looking further into the permanent damage it’ll do to your body.  When i say damage, i don’t mean deeper voice, or feminization of your body, i mean to your genitals. Most doctors (or i hope most) will tell you if and when you go to get hormones, or give you a packet to read, what will happen to your body and what you have a chance of happening to you when you take them long term.  For trans men, they can get vaginal atrophy, thinning and drying of the vaginal walls, causing it to be more painful during sex, and possibly just in general, male pattern baldness, diabetes risk increases, and if you’re on hormones as a trans man long enough, you lose your fertility. (so freeze your eggs if you want biological kids in the future) For trans women, It can increase your body fat, risk for diabetes, erectile dysfunction, high blood pressure, lower sperm count or infertility if on it long enough all together, decreased libido, blood clots, and gallstones.  I’m rambling a bit, but as a trans man, knowing what dysophoria feels like, i want younger and even older trans umbrella people who are non dysphoric to stop a moment and think and really look into who they are and why they identify as what they identify as. There aren’t trenders (kind of. theres cis people who pretend to be trans online) but before you start looking into surgeries and hormones, learn the risks and talk to your 1)Doctors, 2) Therapists, 3) family and or friends you trust to figure stuff out first.  I also have a thing to say about the ‘trans is cool and fun’ train. For me, its never been a cool or fun thing to not be the gender you know you are on the inside. Personally it offends me and other binary trans folk. Not only that, it tells people its ‘ok’ and a choice to be this way, same with the egg culture stuff. Cis people aren’t eggs, don’t try to get kids to transition if they aren’t trans. Give people actual real advice and information. Not every boy who wears makeup is trans, and not every girl who wears boxer shorts is nb, nor is a female presenting nb person a woman, or a tans masc nb person a man.  Don’t push people, You shouldn’t tell people its ‘fun’ to be trans and they should do it to, Look into transition if you plan to do it, Don’t over bind your chest if you want top surgery because it’ll affect your results, don’t tuck to long because that could harm you and possibly your surgery in the future if you want srs.  I’m rambling still about trans stuff. These are mostly my beliefs, no im not trying to gatekeep. Im giving advice.  A lot of things can affect how you see yourself and how you see other things. the simplest answer is sometimes the best. If you feel you’re transgender, or a transsexual, go see a gender therapist and think long and hard about your next decisions because what you do will shape you for the rest of your life. From hormones, to name changes, to discrimination, and pronouns, and how you express yourself, your family. what kind of situations and places you can get into.  IDK, just be careful, don’t tell people to kill themselves, and make sure what you’re doing to yourself is exactly what you want. I’ve spoken to a lot of detransitioners and their stories aren’t fun ones.

[s3venpounds]

1-64. 65 What is the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

65 questionsssssssssss yeeeeeeeeee boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii letsss fucking goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thanks for the ask btw! also sorry for late reply

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

honestly sometimes, the whole “ life is a simulation” got me kinda scared ya never know

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. because im not afraid of the dark im afraid of what can be in it that im not aware of

3. The person you would never want to meet?

idk. cuz if i say someone i hate then i can’t physically meet them to punch them

4. What is your favorite word?

love

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

idk whichever lives for millions of years i wanna be like those giant ass trees that you see in animes that are like whole cities wide

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

should i finally cut my hair? or do i perservere

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my ed sheeran concert shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

someone with the capacity of good but chooses to be an asshole

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

seeing if my new friends were playing games so i can join

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

21

12. Who told you they loved you last?

off the top of my head? my mom pretty sure. 

13. Your worst enemy?

myself, my fears, hesitation and past mistakes?

14. What is your current desktop picture?

its a picture of hinata shoyo from Haikyuu!! doing a spike with wings on his back!

15. Do you like someone?

yes.

16. The last song you listened to?

Jacob Lee Slip

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

trump

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

trump. and i want like brass knuckles when i punch. 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

probably a volleyball coach/ trainer or a professional volleyball player to just drill basics into me and make me a better player. (that or just gal gadot to like help me clean up my life and give me life advice)

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

i guess my energy? its a fucking mess though cuz sometimes i get tired after like 4 minutes of activity but then sometimes i get like a second wind and i just go for hours 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

i mean there was that snapchat trend of every guy making a female version of themselves so i guess theres that. i would definitely try anything i could. periods, cramps, catcalls, masturbating anything i could so i truly understand what women have to go through every day of their lives

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

im a very open person so most of my obscure talents are known but i am kinda proud of how i can name pokemon by just hearing their cries limited to like the first 3 generations tho lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

what happens after we die

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

i wanna make the most bougie sandwich in the world. I want abelone, puffin, black truffle, caviar, just all that super high end shit

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

save it. im going on a trip somewhere out of the city and i could use the extra pocket money

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

venice italy. no question.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

oh shit booze! i love me some booze! i guess it would have to be like smirnoff kissed caramel vodka, or this one whiskey i saw a video of irish people drinking american whiskeys

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

dont be a fucking dickhead idk. i can’t make concrete rules cuz theres loopholes

29. What is your favorite expletive?

definitely fuck just because i say it more than actual normal words

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

haha “loved ones” lmao. oh uhhh my letters from D.O when we were kids. that or my journal

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my dads abuse. oh wait no then thats free forgiveness for him lmao no uhhh one of my past relationships. it was a mess and i still struggle a little with it

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Venice italy. that or greece or rome idk. i really like their aesthetic with small white houses, small walkways and all that

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Steve irwin or Robin williams. or just to make a couple people near me happy, Kyle Fundytus

34. What was your last dream about?

uhhh I kissed the person I’m currently interested in. not just a normal dream too I felt everything. it was crazy. Felt, their hands, warmth, lips, body against mine and even their skin it was just magical.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

boyfriend? honestly? idk. i’d like to think that i am but from what I know apparently im not

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yes and no? i guess? i had one of those shots you give to enfants when their family is moving to a new country and i still have the scar so possibly? i mean technically any baby born in a hospital has been admitted to one lmao

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

YES AND SOME OLDER KIDS BROKE IT DOWN AND USED IT AS A BENCH . I fought them and got sent tot he principals office

38. What is the color of your socks?

im not wearing any.... but i do have a favourite pair of green ones that have a print of pringles sour cream n onion on it!

39. What type of music do you like?

Jazz, big band, kpop, RNB, rap, rock, swing music, electro...? sort of?

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

i can’t choose, I love both and have fond memories of both

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Vanilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maybe some caramel in it

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

uhh i dont know much about football but i can say i would support my local team edmonton eskimos

43. Do you have any scars?

a ton! i love em! its like the sentimental stuff i keep in my closet but on my body and i always trace my finger over them whenever im just in the mood to reminisce

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

im not currently taking the courses i need to get my dream job but i’d love to be a power ranger either the stunt double or the cheesy actor. that or a school councilor

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

how dependant i am on others. i hate it. if i was alone i dont think i’d survive. i need other people

46. Are you reliable?

I like to think that i am though again, you’d have to ask my friends

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Did you find her?

48. Do you hold grudges?

hell.yes. if you couldnt tell i reallllllllllly hate my dad. like really.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

whatever animals it takes to make dragons a thing again

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I would have to say when this random stranger came up to me to complain about the transit system because the one in vancouver was so much better apparently. dude went on a 20 minute rant and i just drowned him out with music and pretended to “pause” my music while nodding like i understood

51. Are you a good liar?

not sure. I think i am considering my parents dont know half the shit i did AHEHEHEHE

52. How long could you go without talking?

couple days. long as i got my music.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

god there was this one christmas where my parents gave me like a stereotypical suburban kid hair cut where the whole head is like flattened with hair gel the at the forehead its just a tall wall of spiked hair. BUT HERES THE KICKER. they dyed half the wall red and half green for christmas. god it was awful

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

does cheesecake cupcakes count?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

ive been told i can do a good russian one, chinese too

56. What do you like on your toast?

nutella omg. fresh toast with gooey nutella? god its so good

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

uhmmm some secret stuff for a friends personal project

58. What would be you dream car?

Dodge Viper

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I love singing in the shower when no ones home. I can only sing when no ones home cuz the walls in this house are thin AS FUCK. 

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i believe we’re not the only ones out here but due to how we’re literally killing our own kind and planet for no good reason they choose to ignore us

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yep! all the time! whenever i get my hands on the local paper i read my horoscope while i wait on the train or if theres a horoscope thing on tumblr!

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

X idk x is just cool

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons are you kidding me? dragons are dinosaurs that can fly. AND BREATHE FIRE

64. What do you think about babies?

I dont think im a good father figure but spending time with kids is a pretty okay time for me long as its not long term lmao 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

What is the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

I punched them full force in the stomach for calling me emo. it was a bad day but lo and behold that person became my best friend loooooooooooool

[comicteaparty]

December 20th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on December 20th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Goddess of Paradise by Dee S. / Beedee.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Goddess of Paradise by Dee S. / Beedee~! (http://paradise.bluedubia.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene so far i think is when eridu runs into ekka. it was nice to see a character actually be happy to see her after a slew of eridu running into charas who dont really care all that much. and i just think its a good balance in general to all the hard truths eridu has woken up to.

although my second favorite scene admittedly is probably when she meets amun. just cause amun is gonna win all those awards for being lazy and laid back

but in general i liked how casually amun reveals that nah bro, its been 1200 years of slumber. as if its no big deal (which tbf for gods probably kind of isnt to a degree but still XD)

mathtans

My favourite scene was near the start of Chapter 4, with the human encounter. In large part because there was mention of a "dead human", making me think "wow that took a dark turn"... then it turned out she wasn' t dead and there was the whole "ick" factor, that wasn't dark at all.

Nice sort of twist, is I guess what I'm saying.

I also do like the Ekka scene though. In part because of my tendency to enjoy yuri ships.

RebelVampire

ah that was a hilarious moment. where eridu is basically treating the priestess like shes some dead insect or roadkill. but i also like within the comedy you see a really blunt and significant view into how she views humans

mathtans

Amun was cool, it was a good way to advance the plot, I'm not always keen on the laid back types though, heh.

Yeah, roadkill's kind of a good word the way that happened. ^.^

It's really interesting the way it's developed in first person overall too.

Reminds me a bit of a picture book, but the first person is a different take on that too.

RebelVampire

for the record you mean 2nd person. first person is "I do this thing" second person is "you do this thing"

but yeah this is probably the first 2nd person comic ive run into. im interested to see where it goes cause 2nd person is generally the more difficult pov to make work but theres also a lot of potential for creative stuff

mathtans

Oh yeah... that type of person.

Totally. I'm not sure how else you'd do it either, aside form having captions blocking the art. So this works.

RebelVampire

yeah it does work. although i also like that the comic has tons of silent moments that just let the visuals speak for themselves. because these are definitely some gorgeous visuals!

mathtans

That's true too. Also neat how some things stay the same while characters or other items appear.

RebelVampire

yeah it really helps draw your focus.

another scene i really like is when eridu shows up back on the island and all the green sprouts. cause its beautiful imagery. but im also haunted with questions about what happened to those two people who were watching

mathtans

Oh yeah, that was great. Goddess of amazing entrances or the like - though we saw the real one later on. ^.^ In retrospect, I feel like that made sense too, with humans being a footnote that she hadn't even expected to be there.

Though I do wonder about them too.

Maybe they were worshippers.

RebelVampire

maybe. although thatd be ironic if that sudden overgrowth killed them then

died for their beliefs

worshipped too hard

mathtans

True. Though I'm not sure death will really be a thing in the comic.

Feels like that was averted.

RebelVampire

maybe. id for sure say there probably wont be onscreen death.

probably

well violent death

mathtans

Unless it's one of the older gods maybe.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. After a 1200 year slumber, the Goddess Eridu finds the world quite different. Besides people being on her island, what else do you think will be a culture shock for Eridu? Do you think she’ll be able to adjust to all the changes, or will she refuse to accept them and continue to try to return the status quo? What do you think the other divine aspects have been up to over the years? Do you think more will be glad to see Eridu, like Ekka, or will more act like Amun and not care? Do you believe Eridu will manage to gain back her divine powers, or will something prevent her? Overall, how do you think this journey might change Eridu’s perspective on her divinity, on humans, or anything else? What will that change (or lack of change) mean for Eridu’s future actions?

mathtans

I wonder if technology exists on a world where Gods/Goddesses are just wandering around.

RebelVampire

depends on how we want to define technology. like for instance back when the world was young a loom would technically count as technology just cause it was a machine for advanced tasks.

im gonna laugh if eridu gets to a village and like theres electric lights everywhere. and she flips a light switch on and off wondering how humans came upon such magic and which god gave it to them

i feel regardless technology would advance

since if eridu can be considered a look into the average god/goddess than they probably mostly just ignore humans

unless theyre like "man i feel like being worshipped today"

mathtans

Well, that's a fair point. I guess I feel like if you can just ask a god to turn on the lights, there's not much need to do the inventing.

I also kind of wonder if one of the divine aspects is what put Paradise to sleep in the first place. Like, maybe was in league with that Enki new God type.

Unless Enki turns out to be a posturing human that the divine aspect was using as a puppet or something.

RebelVampire

dang now thatd be an interesting twist

mathtans

Also, this is a small island in the middle of nowhere. Maybe the mainland is rather different in terms of society.

All about the twists.

RebelVampire

this is also a large possibility. i considered that too. that whatever the island is it might not be representative of the world. honestly it could be argued the island has more old world values even cause theyre the only ones with a shrine left

Beedee

ahhh sorry I'm late! I'm reading up. hello people!

RebelVampire

hello~!

but yeah the twist, i just wouldnt think itd be possible cause the divine aspects are like parts of herself. so itd be hard to imagine one getting powerful enough to oust her. but that is what would make a twist like that so interesting cause it seems so unlikely

i think as far as the aspects though were gonna meet more amun's than ekka's XD not necessarily as laid back as amun, but more like they moved on in life/got bored

mathtans

Might not be old world values as much as it's just new gods have taken over everywhere and they haven't gotten around to dealing with the island yet.

I kinda thought about the parts of self thing... but isn't there a part of ourselves that we sometimes hate, and wish we could get rid of? And the Goddess doesn't seem like she'd be the nicest person to that part of herself, maybe. Though who knows, I may be way off.

I wonder if some of the others might also be asleep, or be serving other goddesses or something.

RebelVampire

the impression im getting is theyre all in their inner sanctums. so cant exactly serve anyone if theyre stuck there. and i also doubt they would cause i dont get the impression they think eridu is dead

thats like declaring loyalty to the assistant manager while the manager is on vacation

mathtans

Maybe they left voicemail at the inner sanctum and are wandering sans powers?

Fair enough though. There'd need to be incentives.

RebelVampire

but idk i mean could be possible

theres a lot of room for variety cause weve barely scratched the present day surface

Beedee

these are some good theories dang

mathtans

Also not sure how her perspectives will change... given how a few days can't wipe out decades of personality. Would need something monumental.

RebelVampire

i like to think shell at least come to view humans differently. or her role cause generally losing powers has the effect of humbling some one

QUESTION 3. The largest mystery presented in the story is why Eridu slept for so long. Who do you think forced Eridu (and her spirit aspects) away from the physical plane? What do you think the reasons were? Was it someone trying to do away with Eridu, or was it for some larger, greater good purpose? Does whoever Enki is have something to do with it? Or is Enki just some innocent bystander who was mistakenly identified as the one who created Eridu’s island? What do you think will happen when Eridu finally runs into Enki? Also, considering Eridu was already forced away from the realm, do you believe this could easily happen to her again? What is stopping the culprit from banishing Eridu back?

mathtans

(I think I'm belatedly realizing that's the creator. )

RebelVampire

lol thats okay math. yes @Beedee is the creator

mathtans

Losing powers can do that. I wonder if flying is a thing with other gods.

Beedee

haha yes I am~

mathtans

I feel like Enki is more an opportunist than the one who engineered everything or totally innocent. Though we've yet to meet him.

Kind of like the Wizard of Oz, in a way?

RebelVampire

i definitely think thats a distinct possibility. im on the page enki isnt this malicious entity and i dont think enki is responsible for what happened to eridu

mathtans

I do feel like Goddess will get all up in his face though.

RebelVampire

but maybe enki is no one. maybe hes just some human who found the island and said "hey my dudes lets live here this island is great." and then as history usually goes stories got exaggerated and eventually a human of great deeds became a god

mathtans

Oooh, maybe. Like, he doesn't actually exist anymore but put lots of things in place so people wouldn't realize that. (Makes me think of some societies from Star Trek.)

RebelVampire

yeah or something. but i could go either way. or it could be a combo of both

either way i dont think enki is responsible

to me it seems more likely kur is responsible at this point

for kicking eridu out of the physical planes

cause he needed her for things later

tho its curious she doesnt remember getting kicked out at all

Beedee

I find it interesting that you both get a vibe that enki isn't responsible even though he hasn't shown up yet :0

mathtans

I guess I just feel like that's too obvious of a solution. Goddess blaming the person who's actually behind it. I expect a twist, like how there weren't originally humans on the island.

I hadn't considered Kur as having a part in it. That's interesting.

Beedee

heh, fair

mathtans

Crazy theory time, the Priestess human is actually a God in disguise!

RebelVampire

yeah im with math. enki is the obvious choice. thus more likely a red herring. which could be wrong. maybe enki is all bwahahaha i have taken over

the priestess was responsible!

mathtans

Who has lost her memory and forgets.

Enki could also be the one behind it, but he was told to do it by Kur, or someone else.

Incidentally, I like the map feature. That's clever. Tracking the path over the island.

Beedee

ahh thanks!

mathtans

(I mean, story guide, not really a feature, but still.)

I often go to those pages, I'm rubbish with names.

RebelVampire

even if i remember the names i love those sorts of pages for spellings. cause i read a lot of comics and its hard to remember how to spell everyone's name even if i know what it is XD

mathtans

That's fair. Also neat how it's being developed over time.

RebelVampire

i like to think the reason eridu was sent away was not to do away with her. like maybe eridu did something bad she doesnt remember (or didnt consider bad). like flood some other god's island that got too close to hers. only that island was heavy populated already.

mathtans

Oh, that's a thought. Or maybe someone else did something bad and she wanted to forget it. Said sleep until I don't remember, didn't realize that'd take a few centuries.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Eridu’s arrival seems to coincide with several “coincidences” within the story. Why was the Dragon-God Kur also slumbering for at least 1000 years? Is it somehow related to Eridu, or was it for a separate reason? Why has Kur woken up early? Also, what is Ekka making for Kur that he even goes to the effort of sending Eridu to help get it? Further, we see a few other gods talking about Kur. Why is Shulsa seeking out Kur so desperately? What exactly could go “badly” that Zida leaves to prepare for it? Also, who is Daiard looking to settle a score with? Lastly, why do you think the priestess of Enki was conveniently near where Eridu crashed? Was that just a coincidence, or was she there for a related reason to Eridu?

Beedee

good question

mathtans

Kur forgot to hit the snooze alarm. Or whatever the equivalent is. (Oh, maybe that's what they were bringing to him...) I'm also not sure what to make of the interlude. Does make it clear that there are other Gods around, the Priestess wasn't making things up or delusional or something.

Maybe Enki told the Priestess to go there because of all the vegetation.

RebelVampire

i think the interlude does kind of prove other gods are around.

now that im thinking of it

mathtans

Yeah, helps to flesh out the island.

RebelVampire

kur just woke up from a 1000 year slumber and the first thing he does is to sit down and kind of take a nap before eridu shows up

which i identify with

maybe the 1000 years is just normal for kur

thats just how long he sleeps

his 8 hours so to speak

Beedee

I will quickly say: yeah that's just how long he sleeps

mathtans

I kinda got that impression from the fact that they knew when he'd be awake. More or less.

Though it could have been a prophecy or something.

RebelVampire

man i wanna sleep for 1000 years

so jealous

mathtans

Incidentally, I liked how Kur was built up to be this ancient amazing entity, worthy of awe, only to have Paradise say, yeah, nevermind that nonsense.

Beedee

haha

at the end of this session, if you are up for spoilers, I'd actually be willing to show the WIP last panels of this chapter for a short amount of time. it explains some of Kur and Ekka's deal haha

mathtans

Aw, it's not Ekka and the Goddess jumping on a mattress?

Beedee

maybe in a side comic lmao

mathtans

I was amused by the reaction to the failed stripping too.

RebelVampire

i enjoyed eridu's disappointment that they werent gonna have sex. just cause it was so blunt. XD

mathtans

Like, ow, my chest. And yeah, that upped the rating, I think

RebelVampire

maybe daiard also hates enki. cause to me the obvious choice is eridu. so im gonna go with enki. everyone is gonna join forces and go after enki

and enki is gonna be like "hey friends would yoou like some tea"

Beedee

haha

to be honest

mathtans

Enki, actually God of Tea.

Beedee

daiard was a dumb callback to the beginning of chapter 2, that became worldbuilding(edited)

mathtans

New crazy theory: Goddess actually ends up putting herself to sleep in the past because the divine can mess with space-time.

RebelVampire

thats brain hurting

Beedee

oh gosh

mathtans

It was all a plan to help her become more grateful, or something.

RebelVampire

hmm, this actually makes me remember that eridu thought shed been sleeping to recharge. maybe there is no villain. maybe eridu just overexerted herself to the point she forced her own self back

shes gonna go on a long quest only to find out she was the villain all along

Beedee

future Eridu goes back in time to punch herself in the face

(thisisajoke)

mathtans

Hah! I could see that though, like "shape up, self".

Also, recharging could be a thing. Maybe she just needs a good nap to be able to fly again too.

RebelVampire

nope this is canon now. future eridu very wise. /shot

i hope she finds the flying having divine aspect soon and gets her powers back. cause man those inner sanctums seem really inconvenient to navigate

cause i dont think ekka's was any better than amun's

ekka's was just more convenient cause a plant taxi picked eridu up

Beedee

true

the sanctums are all awful to navigate on foot

but I like drawing environments lmao

RebelVampire

they are beautiful environments too. i really enjoy the contrast between ekka and amun's sanctums

mathtans

Anyway, this comic does hit a lot of the things I enjoy, from an interesting narrative style to great environments... and some romance too. (edited)

Beedee

thank you ovo

mathtans

Maybe Ekka and Priestess are the real ship.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Dee S. / Beedee, as well, for making Goddess of Paradise. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Dee S. / Beedee’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://paradise.bluedubia.com/

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Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Inhibit by Eve Greenwood / evegwood. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, December 27th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://www.inhibitcomic.com/

Comic’s Webtoons Mirror: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/inhibit/list?title_no=40462

Comic’s SmackJeeves Mirror: http://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=147115

[erenjaegur]

Snk Positivity Day 6: Love Your Series

Im gonna put this under a read more because I cant think of express my feelings on something without turning it into a full length incoherent ass essay so!!

I’ve been in the snk fandom since I was like 12 lol - Im 16 now so that’s like, five years?? I can still remember like I’d see a lot of gifs n stuff of it going around tumblr and for some reason I just really felt I wouldn’t like it like I had smthing lowkey against it?? But then I decided to watch it one day, n i still remember, I was just chilling on my laptop watching it in the sitting room, my family around me and stuff and goddd it was soo good... but it made me tear up... n bITCH I was NOT! about to cry in the sitting room around my family. I was not! prepared for that. That night I stayed up till possibly 1 or 3am just watching it, I must’ve gotten to like around episode 6 I think? I loved it so much I rlly fell in love, I finished it all in just three days.... three days of which I also went to school and stuff and had to go to my friends party.... bitch i was pissed i didnt even like that person....i just wanted to finish snk lmaooo 😭

Im pretty sure Id spend sm of my time invested in snk and looking through snk tumblrs and stuff and other fandom stuff of it, I loved it so much!!! like!! thats all I did and even then I was still forcing my friends to read/watch it. I was really cringey in 6th class wow lmaoo I would literally go around during break with the snk manga like xD!!! eren is my baby!!! saying shit like that yikes.... bitch first of all hes 4 years older than you...your literally 12.....

Especially then, when I was younger it brought me sm happiness like when little me was going through shit then little insecure young me, you know how people say u use entertainment to escape or whatever, a distraction, idk.... like that was rlly it man idk ho to describe it without sounding weird i swear it was like my main source of happiness omg lol

Almost always, its very rare like I’ll be watching a movie, listening to music, anything like that just consuming some piece of media or literally just like. living my life and I see something and im like. omg snk au in which.... or I just somehow relate it back to snk or some of its characters lol. Like even when I was on holiday in Venice last year I was literally like thinking of a fanfic of like, the 104th on holidays in Venice like how wholesome...

Like I really do love snk I think about it every day without fail, and I honestly think I’ll always always always love it, and even if I don’t, it’s always gonna have a special place in my heart. Like, I liked it since i was literally 12 years old and it helped my through shit and I just have so much good memories associated with it. I honestly rlly do picture myself being like a 40 year old woman and still loving snk but like the fandom is dead or something... 😭 I rlly hope that never happens.....bc that will happen my 40 year old ass will b like boiis whens season 10 coming out ? Like I really hope snk is one of those series that kind of just lives on forever, or atleast for a very long time - Like Harry Potter for example

Okay, all that was really personal and I’d be surprised if anyone is reading this anyway, but I love looking back on it and talking about snk like this, I love it :) Butttt, getting to one of the reasons why I think I might love snk so much, and I mean, I can’t really pin it down why I love it so much, I dont think anyone can pin down EXACTLY why they love something, especially a series, but I think one thing I really like, and it becomes really apparent when I look at other series is like, they have a good balance between male and female characters if that makes sense. Like theres not way more men in the show than there is women, like how it is in some series or like, theres not way more men in the show than there is women, and the female characters in the show aren’t just like background characters pretty much, and they’re all good fleshed out and developed characters n shit. I think people have talked about this before but yeah.. And the female characters aren’t sexualised or anything like that and like, theres basically little to no fanservice at all which is nice. Supereyepatchwolf said something about it in his video about snk, how it can appeal to everyone because anyone of any age and gender and such can be in the survey corps n stuff... :P

And the characters just in general of course :) I honestly think the characters is one of snks strongest points, like... im not about to do a full on character analysis on anyone here lol but they’re just so amazing. Like I think on first glance it can probably be easy for people to sort most of them into like a trope or something or just write them off as cliche - mostly eren is victim to this bc people are like typical shounen boy !!! but like. you know anyway. I wish I was better at expressing my feelings and thoughts lol. Like god idk i feel like its so easy for someone who idk might just be a casual fan or smthing to just kinda see the characters on their more surface level without seeing how much depth they actually have - and I feel like that could also easily happen with anime only ppl. Like snk really does have so much great n complex n developed characters, especiallyyy now with the timeskip, more so now than ever. Like you know when you love something so much that you cant just pin point one thing about it... because its like.... everything about it i love n everything within it works to like compliment everything in it if that makes sense u get me?? like i cant just pinpoint ONE THING its the whole thing.... why i love snk? *directs u to link of readsnkmanga.com* or something lol

as for the characters themselves, obviously u can tell, with my url, u can take a guess at who my favourite is :) since the timeskip, i dont like him as much - not that i dislike him, i could literally never - but timeskip eren is basically a whole new person - and im not saying that in a bitter tone or anything, if anything its cool and i appreciate it and i understand why eren is like this now, all the shit hes been through- stuff so singular that barely anyone else would be able to understand, no one, if anything. So i understand why hes like this, and as i said earlier, this’ one of snks strong points its complex and rlly developed characters... The things I admired about Eren is just like... his good and bad, everything. How passionate he is, how he wears his heart on his sleeve - that of which being his most notable quality imo, and he expresses himself in an unapologetic manner like.... the courtroom scene... he rlly shouted that in front of all those people... how headstrong, stubborn and impulsive he is. I relate to Eren alot, thats part of the reason why I love him so much because I think I can kinda see myself in him.. but on the same hand, I think it’s also because he possesses a lot of traits I admire. Eren never backs down even when the whole world seems to be against him. He holds on firmly to what he believes in and never gives in, even when literal guns or canons are being pointed towards him. He’s full of determination and will power and he knows what he wants, and he’s also not afraid to express his opinion, even if he knows that he’ll be laughed at or be largely disagreed with.. And I admire his impulsiveness too. Those are all things I admire and other things I didn’t mention.. like me, I’m a very non confrontational person, I always feel things out before getting to it, and even then a lot of the time I just don’t at all. I might second guess my emotions and feelings when it comes to relationships with people especially, and I can a lot of the time stifle or keep quiet about my own beliefs, not completely keeping quiet, but not speaking them out as firmly as I believe them in my own mind, yielding? more I guess, if people disagree with me, I might step down a little - Which isn’t a completely bad thing, it’s good to be openminded and to see other sides, but when it’s coming from a place of embarassment or insecurity, not so much. So I really admire those traits in Eren :) I relate to him a lot, but I also know that in a lot of ways too, we are veryy different. I’ve even thought before, if I knew someone like Eren irl would I even like them lol?? Who knows lol. But as a character, I love him :) My other two favourtie characters after Eren, Levi and Jean, I won’t go into them as much as I did Eren but with them, and not just that, all of the other reasons they’re my faves.. I have like more of a ‘crush’ on them lmaooo like with them i could read so much /reader fanfic lol... but even though Eren is my #1 I could nEVER...god NO lol. And I think thats also down to the fact, as I’ve been saying I seen myself in Eren... rather than the other way around :))))))))

Like god there have been so many times I’ve laughed, cried at stuff in this fandom, made good memories as a result of it irl too... bullied my friends into watching it.... Like I have nothing but good memories. I really can’t express enough how positively snk has impacted my life like I genuinely can’t, it’d be impossible.. I seriously love it :) I’ve made friends bc of it, gotten closer to friends bc of our mutual interest in it, stuff like that...:) And even if those things didn’t happen, I’d still love the series and its fandom itself. :) I seriously can’t thank enough, the ppl that contribute to this fandom, I really can’t. Everything, and everyone to small and big creators, thank you so much. Well known and lesser known creators, like just everything and everyone, seriously. Everyone is just why this fandom is so great and!! Like I just think how lucky am I to have smthing like snk have such a big fandom and stuff and so many great people in it. Like y’know when you see your favourite fanfic update, you see your favourite artist has put out smthing new, even just see a funny snk text post or something, it all can really brighten and even make your day, and its so good :) There are so many amazing creators in this fandom, fanfics that are honestly better than published books I’ve read - like seriously, some of this stuff seriously deserves to e published or something!! And the fact that so much of these creators are putting their work out there and sharing with us for free, is just so great, and I’ll never not be grateful for it :)

Like seriously, returning back to when I was like 12-14, some days back then when I was younger it really felt like y’know the only things I could take comfort in was this series and its characters and stuff yknow.... and maybe im just being and emo teen but im getting kinda emotional thinking about it just now :’) Like seriously... I feel like im maybe being too much in this post lol but seriously this series means a lot to me.. as I said, I can honestly really picture myself being like 40 and still rlly loving snk like no matter what, whatever happens, wherever the series goes, whatever the hell, it’ll always hold a special place in my heart, because its helped me through a lot, a lot of bad days, I have nothing but good memories associated with it, made friends, seen some of the most beautiful art and read rlly great writing!! Just like yeah. Thank u Isayama and this entire fandom.....

and I was gonna peace out but I also want to appreciate and throw some love @ Isayamas art and art style. Obviously, Isayama was a bit infamous in the earlier days for his art not looking so great (Which also is amazing bc like a manga with not so great art like his in the beginning... grew to become so BIG!! like who would’ve thought) - even so the character design and stuff was all really good?? Like I also think thats a strong point he has too!! And all those years of practicing really shows, because damn!! look at his art now!! It’s really damn nice and im not just saying that lol :P

Anyway!! :) Thats all lol

[sheabuttathoughts]

Is it ever a right time to say goodbye ?!

I’m 31 years old been dating my 20 year old boyfriend for almost a year & I’m starting to second guess if this age difference is more then just a number. Because of the difference in our age I feel myself giving second third even fourth and fifth chances on stuff that is beyond disrespectful. Cheating for me is more then physical so cheating and lies have come up to many times to keep ignoring. I have even forgiven physical cheating but now I’m at the point where I’m over making sacrifices for him when I don’t get the same in return. I cut off friends I have had for years because he feels some sort of way but everybody I have an issue with remains friends . we been staying separate for a few days now and he told me he was coming to see me today 8+ hours go past I don’t hear from him see him nothing so I start to get worried because he has never done this before… Nobody has seen or heard from him a few minutes ago my phone starts ringing I ignore him and text and say I know he is fine I’m mad I ain’t really got nun to say. I asked why he didn’t come and he said it was hot so he went to hang out with his friends smh I’m beyond pissed and I’m ready to just say F it but wanted some advice opinions something before I end it and possibly regret it.

From what im gathering from this is, Number One, Yes the age is definitely a factor. Women naturally mature fast than men and being your 11years older than him, he doesn’t the depth in which you speak up on things. before i continue i should ask you if what attracted to him still attracts you and was it more than physical? As far your forgiving him for the stuff in the past that is the best and mature thing you can do, cause idk how many times i’ve messed up and my lady took me back but i had to learn from those mistakes. if he’s not learning then move on. and for what happened today thats an utter slap in the face and honestly it’d be the final straw... its to hot to visit your girl but you can go see ya boys...  to me thats shows his age and its kinda gay if you ask me. but let me leave you with this. Do you feel anything great will come from this relationship or or you just settling? Be confident in your decision and we’ll be here to help you through it... Much Love

-Specs

Okay; so from what im gathering from the kind of guy he is .. in this case the age difference definitely makes a difference. I’m 23, my fiance is 27, going on 28.. so yeah theres a gap there; but mentally most that meet me will say I’m far beyond my years. I’d say mentally he isn’t in the space for someone of your age and most likely your ideals too. Truly he has alot of maturing to do because today was straight childish actions.. Communication isn’t hard, a simple call/text could’ve been made to let him know he wasn’t gonna make it .. and even then what kind of Man goes and sees his friends in the same heat he couldn’t go see you in? -_____- Nah, not buying it. You can do so much better. There are plenty of men out here that could more than likely fulfill your needs and be on the same level as you. Much love babes, and keep us updated. 

-Finessa 

[isaacathom]

why do i keep going w this stuff dude

like what id have to do to justify what happened to the travelling partner is.... like... itd be a character thing. youd have the Survivor right there, and his personality would already establish he’d be capable of nasty shit (mostly because he literally does nasty shit during the story, yknow). but the hunters have to characterised as able to do it posthumously, which is difficult, because typically shit gets rose tinted. there’d be few people who’d be willing to say bad shit about a dead person. though its possible we’d get that insight from the people the Woman befriends, as they’re unlikely to be super close to the hunters (or theyd be keeping distance) and it means theyve got distance and more objectivity about their actions.

then i have to decide why. like, whhyyyyy? why do it. why do that. why attack an exhausted woman and kill her while her friend watches? a personal ‘quirk’? did she say something? did they do something and she reacted negatively? what happened. theres a couple of possibilities which i guess ill detail for future/current pickings

- ~just a prank~. possibly some sort of stupid action involving hurting the woman that went too far and resulted in her death? difficult to justify, but if the hunters are young enough or established to be immature enough, it could work. maybe the idea was that theyd injure her and then bandage her up and bring her back to the village, like they wanted? kinda fucked up but this is also Murder so i guess fair game

- more nasty shit. like, yknow.... assault? pretty young ladies wandering the forests, shit gets nasty, eeeewwwww. i dont want it, but it could explain stuff. itd especially help explain why the Survivor would hide the body, beyond the obvious. kinda gross, kinda dont want it because of my personal preferences, but it COULD work

- genuine accident. itd make it less questionable, but itd also ruin the idea that the Woman acted out of ‘self defence’ if it was an accident. shit gets rough and goes too far? like they push the girl around and she trips and hits her head? but again, ruins the narrative if harm wasnt intended. harm has to be intended to the girl in order to justify the Woman’s actions

- honestly dunno. to keep her quiet? like, the idea here is that the hunters are doing Bad Shit, possibly the above or something not directly related to the women, that they end up bearing witness too. like, illegal shit. or just very damning stuff, character wise. such as. idk.... honestly dont know. maybe something related to status? burying something they stole? it could work that way. Then the idea is that the girl is specifically outspoken in calling out and not taking their bullshit excuses, and the hunters decide to keep her quiet, resulting in her death while her friend (the Woman) watches in fucking disbelief. itd be interesting if the hunters had committed a crime that led them to commit that crime, yknow?

thats about it. ofc it needs a lot of though. i think the accident angle is out, though an aspect of it can be included in others, especially for some characters. for instance the Survivor, who was clearly not strictly involved, hence him being spared. he was complicit, hundo percent, but he could easily see the whole thing as a tragic accident. perspective and stuff. i think the Prank is also out because thats fucking stupid. leaving Gross Nasties and Covering Up.

both could easily justify the Womans actions, i feel. Nasties would be her friend being yucked while the woman is prevented from intervening, and when the yuck goes too far and the woman’s friend dies, she flips (understandably). and in that context, the argument can also be made for them possibly doing the same to her, yknow. that’d play in.

cover up would be the two of them coming across something suspect that the hunters have done/are doing, and the woman’s friend being attacked for witness. in that, the woman would be simply held down quietly because shes a much more quiet character and would submit quickly to prevent danger, while her friend would refuse despite her exhaustion. so then the hunters would pull their weapons to force her to submit, and then it goes too far (theres the accident angle) and the woman flips. and again, the aspect of whether or not after essentially torturing her friend, whether theyd do the same to her. 

i think Cover Up might be easier to spin w/ murder, as itd be easier to prove. as in, the woman’s body would show clear signs of this, bloodstained gashes in clothes and shit. whereas Nasties could be a little harder to prove as murder, since, well, i know exactly what Nasty im thinking of and idk how long that sort of evidence would last in a ditch. i mean, there shit down there that at least partially preserves her, but STILL.

the issue w/ Cover Up is that i need to work out what started it. as in, what the hunters were doing. like, theyre out hunting, yea, but what are they hiding? it has to be something worth killing over. it cant be too petty. its not another murder, thats for sure. a theft? a theft of a valuable item? either personal or general monetary. but it also couldnt be TOO important, because then theyd look harder for it. though, if it IS valuable, would they go looking in a ditch? probably not. cause the idea is that they were gonna bury it, right. but with the whole murder thing, the Survivor is disposing of evidence. chuck the body, chuck the goods, they arent worth it now, clitter clatter crack. plus, the idea is that the Survivor is more a lookout than actually perpetrating anything. still a cunt, but a lesser cunt. hes not invested in it personally, more on his friends’ behalf, and his friends are dead, so what does it matter? down the ditch, clitter clatter crack.

that could work. it could even explain how they finally find the body in the ditch - the body was more carefully disposed of, and the goods were just chucked. one of them missed, or remained closer to the surface, buried lightly under leaves and dirt until its found. meaning multiple goods. could work. what they actually stole isnt the important part, though - just the fact its worth killing a complete stranger for. OOH! oh fuck i had an idea. ok keep Cover Up as an idea but heres a second idea.

Robbery. they were robbing the two of them. theyre foreigners, a long way way from home, and well dressed beyond dirt and grime. maybe they were carrying something valuable, or valuable enough. nice jewellery, that sorta thing. the hunters, encountering this well dressed tired duo in the woods, offer to take them back to the village, but instead take them further with the intend to rob and kill. make the death look like an accident, claim they discovered the poor women, or just dispose of the bodies and sell the goods on the down low with no questions asked. both good. the former has the accident angle in, too, both deliberate and in how it ended up being incriminating.

so the women get taken further into the woods, and then the friend realises this, she makes a break for it. the Woman is quickly held so she cant flee, because she didnt react fast enough, and the girl is tackled to the ground and held down. the man holding the Woman quickly rifles through her pockets for her goods while she looks on in terror, as the other hunters hold her friend down and forcefully keep her quiet while robbing her too. ofc, as i said earlier, the friend is a lot louder and ‘feistier’ than the Woman, and shes not gonna let them rob her blind without a fucking fight. kick, scream, bite. eventually they start pulling weapons and threatening her with them, and its at this point that the Survivor starts having second doubts. this is when he steps back. he was probably gleefully robbing her, taking off jewellery and stuff, but oh shit, oh dear, oh god, this is going far. but, ofc, the friend isnt letting weapons stop her, until it HAS to stop her, because they start like. cutting and stabbing her. The Woman screams, the Survivor cries out, and thats the point where locals start going ‘hmm did you hear that martha? sounded like screams’ ‘i bet its just the boys being silly’

of course the screams will quickly escalate when the friend stops. brief silence as she stops struggling and screaming. the hunters proceed to rob her blind and gloat as the Survivor cautiously moves in closer. ‘You.... you killed her??????????’

crack. foosh. scchrrk. hunters dead, survivor yelling in terror, the Woman screaming in rage before running further into the woods. Survivor checks his friends, works out fairly quickly its too late, and proceeds to dump the body and clumsily toss the goods before starting to head back to the village, trying to carry one of his less-injured-but-still-totally-dead friends. open shut.

fuck. that works well. and its make the survivor at least a lil sympathetic while still being a cunt. a young man out of his depth, surrounded by older friends with more force. the thing is that its not premeditated. they didnt plan this encounter. they decided to go with it. so the Survivor is similarly trapped in it and mostly non complicit. he starts helping rob the friend because his friends say so. ofc, that doesnt excuse the fact that once everything is said and done, he disposes of the body and the evidence of their crime, and frames it all on a woman they attacked. perjury and shit. broke the law. cause like, yea, hes doing it to help his friends, but his friends ARE dead, nothing is actually keeping him there, because he checked on his friends before disposing of evidence. still a cunt, yknow.

this works. i like this. well, ok, i dont, its fucking murder, but narratively i mean, i dig the shit out of this idea, make the hunters actual criminals here. means the posthumous establishment of character has to establish their forcefulness and violence.

another thing - how many hunters? based on the scene above, at least 3. one to hold the Woman, one to hold the friend, and another to rifle her pockets. the Survivor helps to rifle pockets, but hes separate. thats 4 guys overall. that seems a fair amount for a hunting party. fuck. this is good. i like this. initially, in the dreams and shit, there were 4 dead hunters, but 3 works just as well and makes less work for me as a writer. i like this a lot.

[gaberoothekangaroo]

this is kinda going to be long.

my dad gets so fucking worked up about things and it fucking drives me bonkers because hes just being an ass about it. like we were watching transformers on tv and it had some extra interviews and it talked about the differences of opinion between shia and michael bay on how to do a scene. so my dad is spouting off about how ‘directors are lazy and complacent and they need to learn from others successes’ and on and on and on. and im like ???? there are like only a handful of series that go from one movie to the next??? and so we got into it. like i explained to him that this is a recent thing in the past ten years to have movies that all link up to one another that tell a whole story, rather than having a story that has a beginning middle and end and then adding on a sequel. cause lets be real most sequels suck cause theyre trying to recaputre the glory of the first movie and they dont live up to it.

so hes just fuckin goin off about how this that and the other. and i point out to him that the marvels movies started out as flops. like iron man was pretty good, then two just was in the toilet. well it was the first of its kind. they closed the doors on the first movie. it was a little hard to try to reopen things they had already closed. so they learned and the third movie was pretty good. then we have all the other movies in the franchise that build off each other. yeah they make mistakes, but these guys have all learned and built off each other. 

NOPE. hes like hauling off about laziness and they need to look at other peoples successes and failures on working in series. and im like ?????? asshole, do you not realize there are not that many series out there???? and so we just keep fighting over it and it gets to the point where im like ‘dude, its a fucking novel that theyre taking from a script and turning it into a visualization. you have a problem with their lack of continuity or their characterization, thats where your problems lie, not with the producer’

so then hes just like freaking out hardcore and hes like ‘movies and books are different’ and im like how? how could they possibly be different? world building, characters, a plot, a beginning middle and end. like how are they different aside from the fact one is visual and one is text based? and he just cant see that theyre literally the same thing. and so he keeps freaking out.

and im like ‘if i were to write a book on xyz, i wouldnt go look at the other successful authors that wrote something similar. thats fucking stupid.’ and hes like ‘thats not what i was saying’. um yes it is. if youre talking about looking at something and trying to base it off its predecessors successes and failures, then...wouldnt you have to...idk find something that was actually similar before you can make comparisons???

idfk. he had an issue with the fact that michael bay is a jackass and wanted ‘to do things his way’ and wasnt going to let shia do something he wanted to do. yeah okay creative differences, still made a fairly okay movie. not the actors fault that theres four of these stupid movies. but he was raging hardcore over the fact that the director was ‘lazy and complacent’. so what is his laziness? is there some sort of standard hes following? what is his complacency? like i? dont? understand???

the complacency youre talking about is he wanted a fucking paycheck. the first one was successful and he probably won awards and there was acclaim. so whats stopping him from trying to make a second? a third? he has the characters. he somewhat has the world. its not his own idea, no, because hes taking from an already fairly successful source. but hes moulding the characters to his needs and purposes. same thing with his screenwriter.

i have more anger directed towards the screenwriter than the producer because if the script/characters suck, its on them. they wrote the fuckin thing. if you dont know how to worldbuild or write a cohesive character outside of a single individual film, thats on you and your creativity, not the producer. but nope, he couldnt see it that way. and he kept yelling about how i was putting words in his mouth and this that or the other. like jesus fucking christ man.

im so fucking over how he cant see another point of view. he does this shit with everything. like i need to move fucking far away again. i cannot do this shit. it drives me near up the wall.

he gets so mad that im ‘so literal’ ‘all the goddamned time’. okay well...im not yelling every five seconds that the english language is being destroyed and cant accept change. ‘i was taught all the rules and exceptions’. bullshit. if you were, youd speak worse than a goddamned textbook. you wouldnt sound human. you wouldnt fit in to your social environment. you would be stiff. yet whenever you hear a new word, jesus lord almighty the world is coming down around your ears. its bad when others say it, but you dont mind when we do it. righto.

he makes me so mad. he just doesnt want to look outside his viewpoint. as understanding as he is, he doesnt want to learn. he says he likes learning, but he doesnt actually. if it goes away from what he was taught or something hes stood by for forever and a half, he doesnt want it to change. its like tough luck asshole, thats how things happen. if you dont want change, move to a cave. i dont like change either, but im not yelling from the rooftops about it. nor am i blinded by my viewpoints.

the dumb thing about all this is, is that i dont have anyone i can talk to this about. none of my friends really wanted to stay in contact after we grew up. i havent made too many strong relationships after childhood. the ones i have made, i dont want to feel like im bothering them. i dont want to feel like im incessantly talking nonstop and only about myself and my problems. so i bottle it and then it explodes and then after im done writing it out or talking it out, im still angry. my anxiety is still high. but im over it. im done talking about it. i could get riled up again, but it just tires me out.

like i feel like i used to have a good relationship with my dad, but then i moved away. i learned some new things. i saw some different view points. i aligned myself with others that were abroad. i try to look at things differently. and now that ive come back, its like hes exactly where i left him. he didnt change, but i did. he doesnt want to learn or grow. he thinks hes done, that this is the most him he can be.

it makes me really angry because i want to share things with him. i want to talk to him about the things that excite me, that i think might excite him cause we share a lot of common interests. but then all i get is push back and anger and confrontation and it just makes me tired. it makes me angry too, but i just want to be done and over with it. i want to be away from it. from him.

when i left, i didnt know mothers werent supposed to be that way. now that ive learned thats not how any individual should be, i can see how dads shouldnt be that way either. im not saying hes abusive like my mother, but hes nearly there. belittling and jeering and outright testosterone fueled meanness when things dont go his way or i dont perform to his standards. theres even a disparity between how understanding he used to be and how understanding he is now. the older i get and the further i get away from who i used to be, the less understanding he seems to be. it makes me sad. it makes me angry. it makes me want to leave and not come back. it makes me want to go and to go and to go. at the same time, i live in a constant state of existential crisis. life is short and nothing has meaning. all that stuff. so theres fear, true panic inducing fear that dominates my line of thinking for a few days before i get it under control and so i dont want to lose my relationship with my dad. he is probably one of the closest people in my life. but he also keeps getting more distant as time progresses.

nights like tonight just make me want to cry. i go from anger to sadness/panic to exhaustion. like ive ranted, ive changed the subject a couple times now, but i dont feel better. theres still a low simmer of anger in my chest thats constricting in the way anxiety is constricting.

i dont want many more of these situations. i guess its time to move. i dont want to do it permanently, but it looks kinda like it might have to be. and if it is permanent, that means i leave behind my grandmother who means the world to me. it means i leave behind one of my best friends, a friend i believed would die and i wouldnt be informed of his passing a few years ago. i already left some close friends behind in my last state of residency. i read a lot because i choose to escape from things. i have a hard time facing things. like facing the fact that my dad is probably not going to change as a individual and will continue to be confrontational and a hypocrite. i really wanna cry but my depression doesnt allow it.

[eatjinda]

top 15 kpop songs in 2016 tag

just by reading the title i dread even thinking about just my fave 16 bc man did i enjoy a lot of songs in 2016. @jeon-hope why you make me suffer

so in no particular order and one song per group (if i didnt do that it would just be bts and svt), here we go~

1. bts - blood sweat and tears

this song. this fucking song. im staying away from mentioning all the solo songs bc i love them so much and yeah, 21st century girls is amazing, but im trying to keep the list from becoming just bts bc i’d do it. this song is so cool and especially if youre into the whole demian thing? makes the mv really interesting 

2. seventeen - fast pace

i love the title songs but this song is so mature and just such a different sound for seventeen and it came out and with the first listen i was like ‘holy shit. this is it. this is the song’ and i listen to it allllll the time now. and of course the fact that the members put in so much into the song which is one of my favourite things about seventeen.

3. agust d - so far away

despite loving the last (man those lyrics -- i resonate with them) and agust d bc its a damn good song, im going to go with so far away. wow. just wow. suran’s voice is so hauntingly beautiful along with yoongi’s raw emotion in his rapping and i love these lyrics. he honestly blew me away with the whole album and i fall asleep listening to this

4. red velvet - russian roulette 

this is the song that i just jam to and theres really no special reason i love it i just love it. its so much fun

5. infinite - the eye

so i used to be a hardcore infinite stan and then i just kinda fell off the bandwagon with bad but this song is such an infinite song in the best way possible and i think they really brought it together? imo after destiny they kinda lost what was so good about them (except for back. back is a good fucking infinite song) and i think they totally scored with the eye, found whatever it was they lost and more and gave us such an infinite song. i love it and am still salty that they werent at mama

6. winner - baby baby

even tho yg seems to be sleeping on winner, im not. this is a good song and while i dont like it as much as i like empty, its still really good and i listen to it a lot. its a little retro sounding and im 100% into that. 

7. mamamoo - you’re the best

mamamoo is so unique and talented and absolutely my style. i love the jazzy twist they put on songs and i just love this song so much. it makes me sing along and dance every time it comes on no matter the circumstance (which includes in a grocery aisle with like 6 other ppl there)

8. mino - body

aaaahhhhhhhhh this is so good. so mature and well done. i mean i like bobby and his song and their collab song but this one really did it for me? i think i like the more mature songs anyway but i just love how mino sounds and how he put the song together. 

9. day 6 - letting go

day6 is so talented and really knocked it out of the park. i dont understand korean but i didnt need to for this song? they express emotion so well with their voices and their expressions when they do it live and the video really expressed that, too. it just feels so raw that you cant help feel something when you hear it. 

10. dean - d(half moon)

idk if this counts as kpop but whatever. i love it. and tbh i didnt really listen to dean at first for no apparent reason and i heard this song by chance? and im so glad i did. its really nice

11. twice - cheer up

im still on the cheer up bandwagon. sue me. i love it and its like russian roulette. i like the songs that make me feel stuff and whatever but i also have those songs that are just bops and thats all there is to them and i love it. this is one of those songs

12. shinhwa - orange

i dont think touch counts, even tho they performed it for the first time in 2016 (if it did it’d absolutely be on this list) and im still hung up on the greatness that is sniper. but orange is a song that means a lot to me as a shinhwa changjo. i know theyre old and whatever ppl say about them but theyre actual living legends and are still so good? like what i love about them is that they arent trying to be what they were when they were 20. theyve grown up and its just something we wont get from young groups (and since older groups are pretty much inactive, disbanded, etc.) so orange is just a really meaningful song. 

13. got7 - fly

it honestly took me a while to get into this song. i was still hung up on if you do (and tbh was a little turned off by the monotone singing jaebum does in the first bridge??) but man this realllllly grew on me. its so atmospheric and just such a nice song to listen to

14. sechs kies - couple

i know its basically a remaster of couple but i love it so much idc. i mean its more of a ‘i like couple so much’ and less ‘i like this version of couple’ bc tbh i like the original better. but for fans who dont listen to first gen kpop (why not, idk) this is nice bc its a 2016 version of an old song and may even be a gateway song to getting into the glory that is first gen kpop

15. shin hyesung - roco drama

im glad this song juuust made the list bc its so nice and suits hyesung’s low voice so well. its a very sexy song tbh and again its really mature and something i dont think anyone younger than 2pm could accomplish. shinhwa is just. so. good. stop sleeping on them. 

lol i dont know who to tag??? so imma tag everyone. go, be free. talk about your fave songs. have fun