#but there's still so much hate in me and yes sometimes i'm not only containing it to my designated s2 hate group chat

[22ndnervousbreakdown]

Jim in good omens season 2 is so funny bc most of the fandom is like "oh gabriel is such prick but we love jim" and he's like. Literally the same just more stupid/oblivious, like he's still self-centred and he still has zero empathy and doesn't give a shit about others' feelings and if they're busy and still has no concept of personal borders, he just also asks dumber questions and has no clue what's going on around him.

All the other characters? Aziraphale? Crowley? Yassified fucking Beelzebub? They don't resemble themselves at all. Shreds of their characters left at best. Virtually the only thing they have in common with their s1 selves are names and appearances (partly. For some of them). And who's the only one who kinda retains his personality? The guy who lost his fucking memory and is perceived as a blank slate for 99% of the season. It's so ironic i can't.

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me(part 5) matt sturniolo

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

summary: matt hates your guts but all of that changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains: vampire!matt x reader, highschool au! (18 years old), dark themes, death, smut (not in this part)

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matts pov.

"okay, you guys should feel different any minute now" Madi says before giving me a look. a look that says what I am doing is stupid. judging by the sadness that's roaming in my chest, I'm guessing y/n thinks its stupid too. why does she care, its not like she likes me, I think to myself. but even as I think it, I can't help but cringe at the loss of emotions I would have from getting rid of the bond. sure, it was annoying sometimes, but hell, Iife gets a little boring when you've been living for so long. its easy to go numb and become desensitized, and that's what made y/n an anomaly. even before the mating bond, she made me feel things. even things I didn't want to feel like annoyance and anger.

I look over at her and I can't help but stare. she's so pretty, I think even as the bond fades into a dull nothing.

"quite staring, your freaking me out" she says looking at me. I can see the tears in her eyes, and ,even though the bonds gone, I know she wishes there weren't any. I knew her and I knew that she didn't like to feel like others had power to make her sad or upset. she never wanted to lose control. I can't help but note how much I know about her. more than I thought I knew.

I look away and grab her arm and sigh at the fact that there are no tingles or heat that flash through me this time. "I'll take you home, it's been a long night." and so from there we head back to the car. shit, I almost forgot about chris. I open my phone to call him, but I see a text notification from him instead. "I'm going to stay, the spell could take all night for me" it says. I can't help but wonder how someone can take away the pain of losing a mate, but shrug it off. if I knew I'd be a magic user, not a vampire. and I wouldn't be standing here awkwardly with a girl I hated two days ago. a girl I wish I could comfort, but don't know how too. we climb in the van and I turn on the car. the hiss of the ac and the quiet hum of the radio are the only sounds in the car. she opens her mouth and closes it again. "what? what is it?" i sigh because the tension is killing me.

"if the bond is gone then why am I still sad?" she says quietly. I note the fact that this is the most vulnerable I've ever seen her. she's always had a strong front, and always had something smart to say. but now in the quiet that is my van, I feel like I see her, the real her.

"I don't know why." I say honestly, but cringe at the monotone way I say it. like I didn't care to know why she was upset, and right then I knew her walls were going to come back up before they even do. she shrugs and wipes her face once. "can I play music then, I don't like moping around." she sighs, grounding herself again. "I know you don't" I say softly "and yes you can, as long as you don't have shit music taste" I smirk at the end. teasing her is so much easier and more natural then whatever we've been doing the past 15 minutes. "Oh it's amazing, you're gonna wanna add my songs to your playlist when I'm done. " she takes the mood change and runs with it. she even laughs and I don't even try to stop myself from admiring her smile.

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I pull into her house and all the lights are on and there are clanging noises coming from the inside of her home. its damn near 5 am and no one should be up that early on a Sunday morning. we were just having a good time, surprisingly, listening to music with each other. we both like the same kind of music and even though I acted like I hated her singing I didn't mind. but she wasn't singing now, she actually looked really scared.

"my dads home" she whispers and looks at me with wide glossy eyes. worry flutters in my chest at the sight of her being afraid. this guy must be bad news. "he rarely ever comes home" she says in the same quiet tone her eyes widening even further before she turns to me. "I thought Madi said she put a protection spell on me." she runs her hands through her hair and her breathing is picking up. if she keeps this up, she's going to have a panic attack.

" she did, okay, so you have nothing to worry about!" the words sound all wrong coming out of my mouth. I meant for them to come out comforting but instead they sound a bit like I just want her to shut up and get out of my car. why do I always have to sound so mean.

her breathing picks up more and she's crying now. "you don't know what he's like, matt! you've never met the guy. he doesn't want anything to do with me! and when he comes home, he's always drunk" she pauses and closes her eyes gasping for breath. "and he's mean!" she sobs. before I can stop myself I grab her face and guide her gaze away from the house to me. if she hadn't told me this, I would have never known she'd been hurt this way. I couldn't help but wonder how many times she came home to find a nightmare in her house.

"you don't have to be with that guy" I say slowly and nod my head before continuing

"just stay with me" I whisper.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@katie-tibo

@cindylcuwho

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 | Crossed Lines

Some things are better left unsaid.

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, dystopian AU, space/Sci-fi/cyberpunk-esque, Enemies to lovers, Angst, Violence, Drama, romance, adult, angst, potentially triggering content, mentions of prostitution, fluff??, injury, I'm sorry for this one don't hate me

Length: 3k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

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You never really thought of Jungkook as the jealous type- and maybe you're interpreting his foul mood entirely wrong too.

But you've got a feeling that his clear displeasure is mostly due to the very tall and very charismatic Alien who's been all over you ever since you woke up.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't need help eating her food, Jin." Jungkook growls, eyes a vibrant green with a little red swirling around sometimes, as he watches you on the lap of the tall Alien currently feeding you. Jungkook's arms are crossed and he honestly looks ready to tear someone's throat out- and while you're still learning what the colors of his eyes might mean, you're starting to somewhat connect certain colors with certain feelings.

"Pah, just let me enjoy this before you take her away again!" The man named Seokjin whines, pulling you a little closer. "I can't believe you found such a sweet thing.. you don't even want her, just leave her here with me!" He complains, and Jungkook's eyes turn a little hotter in color, orange burning bright as his anger seems to rise. Why that might be you're not sure- you don't understand why he's not letting you stay here either. Seokjin seems like a nice person, and Yoongi, a cat-like Alien who'd taken care of you while you were resting, told you that the three of them are all very good friends. So why did Jungkook suddenly change his mind?

"Shut up." Jungkook barks under his breath, turning his face away. "…she can stay if she wants to. Who cares." He mumbles more or less, and at that, your heart skips a little uncomfortably. In a way, you knew he wanted to get rid of you sooner or later- but to hear it too, makes it all the more real. Maybe deep down, that small hidden innocence in you had thought he was warming up to you- but maybe that was just your imagination after all.

So you shrug, and look down at your plate of food, shaking your head when Jin offers you another piece to eat.

"I can't believe that you're worse than me, Jeon." Yoongi says, shaking his head in disappointment. "That was mean, even for my standards." He mentions from his spot near the only window in the small metal shed Jin lives in, his tail swaying a little. "Humans are sensitive. You can't just say things like that." He says, before he adjusts his position, crossing his legs.

Jungkook however just scoffs, and refuses to look at you.

You truly want to say something, but your voice just comes out horribly strained, making you cough- so you just leave it, trying to clear your throat, as Seokjin holds the inhaler you got from Yoongi to your lips.

Only that the hand is.. tattooed?

One look upwards and yes, there he is- it's actually Jungkook who acted so fast, eyes a slightly stressed pale blue, as he carefully helps you use the plastic container with the medicine inside, face a mix of worry and annoyance. You just let him, for now- and decide that maybe, this is his actual issue. You're now sick, you're gonna use up a lot more resources, let alone the cost of your medicine and everything. You're no use for him, only baggage.

Jungkook sighs, sits back down before he puts the inhaler away into his canvas bag. "If she wants to stay, she can, I guess.." He says, crossing his arms again. "If she wants to come with me, she can. It's whatever." He huffs, and Yoongi sighs to himself, while Seokjin chuckles.

"Well, I guess that's as much of an invitation as you'll get, little thing." He shrugs, looking down at you.

And this time, you don't feel like running after Jungkook like a lost dog.

So you just quietly shrug, and eat the rest of your meal.

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You're still hiding in Seokjin's bedroom, upset and saddened by the fact that Jungkook is truly preparing to leave you behind, when you hear someone walk through the pearl curtain that disconnects the bedroom from the main living area of the little house. "Here." He mumbles, throwing something on the bed- a plastic box, a rubber band around it to keep it shut, you guess.

You don't react, but you hear him sigh, as he sits down on the mattress, bed dipping down a little under his weight. "At least look at it, so I know I didn't buy the wrong shit." He huffs, and you roll your eyes, before taking the scratched up box, pulling the rubber band from it. And inside-

-are two, different colored knitting needles, a small pair of scissors, and two balls of grey, thick yarn.

"So?" He urges, and you can hear him play with the keychain in his hand a little. Is he nervous? Or just impatient?

What is he really thinking about you?

Why did he buy this, if he didn't at least mildly care about you?

You turn around towards him, and tap his shoulder to gain his attention- which you get, as he turns a little towards you- clearly caught off guard when you hug him. You want to see something- you need to check if your instincts are correct with this.

And when his arm- admittedly rather awkwardly- wraps around you and pats your back, you get your answer.

So you get up, put your clothes and the plastic box into a bag given to you by Jin, and stand by the pearl curtain quietly, nodding outside.

"Are you sure?" He asks, not getting up yet. "Jin's a good guy. Yoongi visits regularly, and he's got a human partner. Knows all about human health." He explains. "I mean, the planet's climate sucks, but it's at least somewhat peaceful." He says, and you just roll your eyes, and cross your arms. "..guess that's a no." He sighs to himself, though you don't miss the warmth in his eyes as he gets up, and takes your bag from you, walking out to say goodbye to Yoongi and Jin- well, mostly Jin. Yoongi just.. quietly bumps his head against yours and Jungkook's, before he simply leaves.

But Seokjin? He goes in for the hug, and it's honestly a little funny how annoyed Jungkook seems at that.

"You'll have to stay in contact!" Seokjin whines. "I need to know she's okay, and that she eats well, and that she's not getting lonely, or sad, or-" He rants, and Jungkook groans, clumsily taking your hand in his to pull you closer.

"Yeah yeah whatever, I'll look after her just fine." He argues, before he turns with you to walk off- letting you wave to Seokjin for a bit, before he tugs on your hand. "Look ahead. You'll trip otherwise." He scolds, though he keeps holding your hand-

The moment you're both back on the ship, he immediately runs an entire scan of the system and Ship's interior- telling you that he doesn't trust the mechanics on this planet too much, and that he wants to make sure they didn't leave anything here that doesn't belong. What exactly he means by that you're not sure- but after noticing how he even physically searches your room for anything off, especially the camera up in the corner, you're starting to have an idea of what he meant by that.

and it feels oddly kind, the way he keeps you both connected with a surprising tender amount of strength.

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"Do you want to stay here or come with me?" He asks, and you shrug, taking a blanket from the bed with you to instead walk closer to him. "…I really made you clingy now, didn't I?" He sighs to himself, looking at you a bit annoyed- though the faint pink-ish hue of his eyes gives you hope that he's just trying to act tough, and not genuinely upset over the fact that you'd like to keep him company from now on.

If Yoongi was correct, Jungkook simply has trouble attaching himself to others- the cat alien had told you that he didn't have the greatest upbringing, and that it left him with permanent scars.

Scars that one might not be able to see, but they're still there.

"Alright, let's see.." Jungkook mumbles to himself, as he logs into his system's autopilot, taking over the controls as he reads through all the info flying past on the screen. It's impressive to you how quickly he can seem to soak up any information practically flying past him, and it shows you just how long he's probably been doing this.

Yet, now that you think of it, you're not actually sure what exactly Jungkook does for a living, besides selling cargo here and there. But then again, should you really question it? He's putting food on the table, and gives you a safe place to stay. Better not ask too many questions, you tell yourself.

So you instead sit down somewhere near the windows, studying the pictures of the faded paper instruction manual that came in the plastic box of knitting stuff- the language foreign to you, though some words seem to click in your mind. It doesn't seem too hard to do, and considering that you've tried it in the past, it's not that difficult to pick back up where you left off years prior.

And the entire time, you don't even notice Jungkook occasionally watching you, the sight of you happily occupied with your new present doing something special to him. After all, usually, to his kind-

gifting things is considered something only mates do for one another.

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"Hey- come here for a second." Jungkook says one morning, urging you a bit closer as you enter the command center where he already sits in his usual seat, though he doesn't seem as relaxed as he's been these past few days.

Your throat has been healing well, and the entire ship by now is filling with your little animal shaped knitting work- one better than the last, after Jungkook had picked up some other colors of yarn for you at one re-fuel stop. It's been a good handful of days now- and you feel like you're actually getting comfortable with the Alien. "I'll be turning course today. I'm.. gonna leave you with Jin for a while." He says, and you instantly furrow your brows in confusion, unsure what's wrong.

"Why?" You ask, voice still a bit raspy, but it at least doesn't hurt as much to talk anymore.

Jungkook just sighs, looking away. "It's not for long, just a few weeks. I'll pick you up before the seasons change-" He explains, but you won't have it.

"That doesn't answer my question." You say, clearing your throat after somewhat getting that small sentence out. He runs his hands over his face.

"It's.. urgh, fuck!" He groans out agitated, and it's honestly both funny and a little unnerving to see Jungkook so.. embarrassed.

"I'm-… It's mating season for my kind." He huffs out defeated, arms crossed. "And since you're a female, it's kind of.. distracting." He explains, and you take that info in for a second.

And Bolku people are a proud but reserved kind, only really staying in pairs, never in groups. But Jungkook doesn't quite fit the visual characteristics, apart from his eyes- so maybe he's a hybrid too?

"Oh." You simply answer, unsure what else to say. Well, you didn't really think about that- but yeah, you remember reading something about Bolku people's.. well, mating traditions, so to speak. Not really because you ever thought anything of it- it was just interesting to find anything to read back on earth, and when you stumbled upon a common book about foreign galactic humanoid variants, you read through it.

It's how you know that Seokjin must've been some sort of human-Shairo hybrid; with his tall body and caring nature, but otherwise rather human appearance. The short, thick and scaled tail gave him away, mostly, and you read in your book back on earth how his kind has a problem with gender in their kind. They're mostly male- females are incredibly rare to be born for some unknown reason.

What's interesting now however, is how the past few days and Jungkook's actions during them, change in nature to you. The gift of the knitting stuff. The blankets he kept bringing to your room. The way he'd cuddle you throughout the journey through Cryon- all of it suddenly feels odd to you now that you know he's near his kind's mating season.

Does that mean that those weren't acts of kindness? That you weren't making any progress at all? That he was just..

..acting on instincts?

"I can just stay in my room again for the time being." You shrug, and he notices the way your posture and tone change. He's become quite good at reading your body language and subtle hints here and there- be it the tone of your voice, or the way you avoid eye contact, or how you'd change topic if he was to talk about something that made you uncomfortable. And right now, it seems as if he said something that made you almost.. defensive. And he's not sure what.

"No, I don't want to.. lock you in there again." He shakes his head. "You're not a prisoner anymore. Or anything similar." He denies.

"Then what am I?" You ask, looking at him- and he can't help but feel a little called out by you.

"That doesn't matter." He responds, but that's not enough for you anymore. You've become bold- mostly because you're not scared of him any longer, and because he's slowly, unknowingly, nurtured your will to survive back to life.

"It does to me." You croak out, coughing right after, making him cringe as his eyes turn a concerned blue hue. But he knows not to try and do anything right now- you're on edge, and he feels as if he's arguing with a cornered animal right now, any wrong move or word enough to set you off.

"Then what do you want to be?" He asks instead, making you look at him with a gaze that just screams uncertainty.

You don't know what you want to be. Especially not what you want to be to him.

When you came onto his ship, you didn't care what happened to you. You'd given up, you were ready to take whatever was thrown at you- but now you actually want to live. You want to be alive, and most importantly, you want to stay with him, and stay on this ship, and stay in this little space where everything seems okay. The amount of safety you feel here has spoiled you at this point, causing you to feel protective over it.

You don't want to stay with Seokjin, no matter how sweet and kind he is. He isn't Jungkook, and he isn't this ship.

"I don't care!" You huff out at him, moving to sit in the middle of the control center, grabbing your blanket before you throw it over your head, and hiding underneath it as you sit down facing the large window, face barely exposed. "I'm staying." You growl to yourself, and Jungkook can't help the slight amusement tickling in his chest at the fact that you're starting to pick up on some of his own behaviors.

Though your growl is anything but intimidating. It's cute, but nothing dangerous at all.

"It's just for two weeks. Three at max." Jungkook sighs, turning on the autopilot before he walks closer, tip of his boot gently tapping your back. "Hey." He calls out, but you don't answer. "I'm talking to you."

"And I'm not." You respond, pulling the blanket close so he can't see you as he crouches down next to you to catch a glimpse. "You'll leave me there."

"I thought you wanted me to leave you?" He wonders in an oddly soft tone, but you can't help but feel as if this too is just his instincts, and not actually him.

"Shut up." You respond, and he laughs.

"You kind of sound like me." He tells you, sitting down in front of you with his legs crossed. "Doesn't fit you- so stop it." He argues, pulling on the blanket- but you got a steel hold of it. "Come on, stop being a brat-"

"No!" You bark out, scooting away from him a good bit.

"I'll pick you up again." He sighs. "Promise."

"Your promise is empty." You mumble, finally giving in as he manages to pull the edge of the blanket enough with his fingers to expose your face.

"How so?" He wonders, face clearly confused, and somewhat upset.

"Cause you said it!" You argue. "I'm distracting you because you're like- horny or whatever. That's not you. And when your.. mating season is over, you'll just.. leave me with Jin." You say, looking at the ground.

"How come you humans always get so horribly attached to things so easily?" He mumbles, as if he's mostly talking to himself- eyes distant as he looks at you, hands in his lap. "Attach yourself to Jin. Not me."

"Why?" You ask timidly, unsure what he's getting at. You're not even sure yourself what you're thinking of him. You don't know why you're so attached to him.

"Because he's.. a better fit." He shrugs. "He's nice. Knows human social norms, since he's partially human as well-"

"So are you though?" You ask, testing the waters, and the way he tenses up, eyes flashing a pale, unreadable color, gives you the answer you were looking for.

So he is a hybrid too.

Suddenly, his face seems angry, jaw clenched and tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek as he looks to the side, eyes a blazing red as he gets up and walks away. "I changed my mind." He says, tapping away on his control panel. "Go stay in your room or whatever. I don't give a shit." He growls, and for some reason, you suddenly feel guilty.

So you quietly leave, door hissing shut behind you-

before it clicks, small display near it offering only a single, pulsating message.

[Locked by Administrator]

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[citrusandcyanide]

Can't Lose You | L.G.

Pairing: Lip Gallagher x f!reader

an. This is my first fic since switching back to this blog and it's also my first Lip fic. I'm So happy to be writing again :,) . This idea won the poll but I'm still cooking up the rest. This will probably be 2-3 parts long. First part is mostly just background, but still got some angst. Would love feedback <3

Synopsis. College decisions are being sent out. Lip doesn't want to go to college unlike his best friend who has her mind set on leaving Chicago and her feelings for Lip behind.

words. 3k

Warnings. Unrequited feelings. angst, smoking, drinking, and angry lip.

Part 2 Part 3 (final)

“I got in,” Lip said standing in the doorway of his best friend's bedroom. You were laying on your bed with a book in your hand when he appeared suddenly in your room. Sitting up, you put the book down and turned towards the door. You gave Lip a confused look as he walks towards you. He sits on the bed beside you before continuing. “MIT. I got in.” 

“Mandy’s application really worked huh?” You were shocked. The situation was almost amusing. Mandy had submitted five college applications in his name. She told you before submitting them, even going as far as asking you to look over them to make sure they were good. Of course when you went to tell her the plagiarism was evident, she cursed you out and left offended. It was funny that one of them worked, but part of you was genuinely shocked. This meant an escape for Lip. A real chance of leaving Chicago and the south side behind, to move on and up. You were genuinely happy, excited even. Lip, on the other hand, didn’t look excited. It was clear by his expression that he was shocked, maybe even a little proud. But he also seemed unimpressed by the prospect of what this meant for his future. 

“You going?” You asked, hopeful that the answer would be yes. You contained your excitement, seeing that he was still unsure if this was good news. 

“Nah. You know I hate the Red Socks” Lip replied, earning a scoff from you. 

“That’s bullshit,” you replied, smacking him on the arm with the book you were reading. “Well, what about the others? Mandy said she was applying to five.” 

“Got three rejections, but uh, UChicago let me in,” He laid back on the bed, using his arm to prop him up. “And I’ve been thinking of all the shit you said about College being important and all.” 

“And?” you said, now looking down at him. You were hoping he would say he was going. Lip was one of the smartest people you know, but also the dumbest. He had an amazing brain but had no clue how to use it sometimes. It was the cause of the biggest tension in your friendship. You were just as smart as Lip, but it didn’t come so easy to you. You were a hard worker, but only because you had to be. It was the only way you saw yourself surviving. To get into college meant an escape from the Southside life and struggles. It was important to you. Lip knew it. He had to listen for the last two years as you stressed out over formulating the applications. He also had to witness a few panic attacks caused by it. College stood on an almost unreachable pedestal, but nothing could convince you you couldn’t reach it. 

You tried your hardest to convince Lip to at least try for the dream, but he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t try. And yet the opportunity still was handed to him on a silver platter, like everything good in his life. Here he was, being handed salvation, and he was still going to deny it. A part of you was angry at that, but it was useless being frustrated with him. 

You couldn’t help but think about Mandy. If he really was considering going to college, it wouldn’t be because of you. It was because of Mandy. Lip may be your best friend, but Mandy has had all his attention recently. You told him to apply to college. Lip refused. Mandy applied for him and now he listens. 

It just added to how much you wanted to leave. Everytime you saw Mandy, you had to endure listening to her talk about Lip. The two of you were friends of course. You were thrilled to see her happy, but it still stung seeing her get to Lip instead of you. Lip, the boy down the street, your best friend since your parents moved in when you were young. The boy who stuck by your side through elementary and middle school when it was difficult to make other friends. The boy who took your first kiss in front of the whole school when other girls teased you for not having it yet. During middle school dances, the one who would sit on the bleachers with you instead of dancing. Who you’d spend all your time with. The one who’d sneak you out of your house late at night to smoke joints under the L. The boy you couldn’t help but love. 

He knew it, and you knew he did. It became all too obvious in high school. Lip had started dating girls fairly quickly. He’d spend more nights busy with other girls. It interrupted the time you got to spend together. You understood he had needs and you weren’t exactly wanting to become fuck buddies. So you let it be, trying to ignore the jealous pit in your stomach. 

It all boiled up until one day near the end of sophomore year. The two of you had made plans to hang out at his house, order some food and get high. When you got there, he wasn’t home. Ian and Fiona said they didn’t know where he was. You decided to wait awhile. Debbie had recruited you to play with dolls. When he got back, you had helped yourself to a bag of chips and a soda. He wasn’t alone. A girl you recognized from physics class was strung on his arm. He freezed when he made eye contact with you from your position on the couch. You heard him mutter “shit” under his breath. Your gaze shifted between the girl and Lip. You were beyond irritated, but you refused to show it. Instead you turned your head to the tv. 

“You gonna introduce us, Lip?” You asked, breaking the silence. He didn’t reply. The girl did instead. 

“Um, I’m Jenny… we know eachother from class,” Her tone was awkward, but you could tell she was genuinely trying to be nice. There was a small giggle when she spoke “I’m Lips girlfriend now.” 

Your head shot back up to look at Lip. Your eyes were wide. He didn’t tell you anything about this. He hadn’t even mentioned her to you before, let alone give you a heads up that he was gonna ditch you to spend time with her. Lip avoided your eyes. You were boiling now and Lip could feel it radiating off of you. 

“You could have told me you were bringing company. I would have brought more weed,” You said, the bitterness clearly evident in your tone. 

“Gross. I don’t smoke,” Jenny replied disgusted. You raised your eyebrows and nodded. 

“Real keeper, Lip,” You gave him a sarcastic smile. He scoffed.

“Just go home, kid. We’ll talk tomorrow, Okay?” Lip said before telling Jenny to go up the stairs to his room. You didn’t move from the couch. 

“No, I’ve been waiting here for hours. You could have at least given me a heads up that you were going to cancel. I could have gone home.” 

“Yeah, well, I’m telling you to do that now,” His voice had grown agitated. 

“What is up with you lately? We’ve barely seen eachother and the one day you suggest we actually hang out, you ditch me. Not cool, Gallagher.” 

“Give me a break,” He said running a hand through his hair. His leg was bounced anxiously. He kept looking back up the stairs to make sure Jenny was out of earshot. 

“Like that isn’t what I been doing,” You sat up to face him properly. “I’m trying to be understanding, but honestly I feel kind of neglected. We’re best friends, I think our friendship deserve a little effort put in to it, you know.” 

“Jesus, (Y/N). I’ve got a gorgeous girl waiting for me on my bed right now. Can this PLEASE wait till tomorrow?” Blood was starting to rush to his face. He wasn’t asking. He was ordering. It was like a hit to the chest, but it only fueled your anger.

“Could anything be more important to you than pussy, Lip,” You hissed. Your voice was getting louder with every sentence. “Certainly not your friends because you would have kept your dick in your pants for ONE fucking night to hang out with them.” 

“FUCK OFF, (Y/N),” He was fully yelling at this point. “It’s your issue for waiting so long. I can’t spend every day with you. You’re not the only person in my life. You don’t get to control how I spend my time! Fuck, you’re not my girlfriend. Stop expecting to be treated like you are.” 

“I am well-fucking-aware I’m not your girlfriend. You remind me every fucking day,” you screamed. Your vision blurred as tears began running down your face. You scowled at him. There was a moment of silence as you both realized what you said. Lip grew confused, his face contorted as he was trying to understand what was happening. Everything became dizzy. You took a deep breath and stepped back. You quickly gathered your stuff, wiping the tears away from your eyes. “Moments like these make wonder why I even want to be.” 

Lip was silent. He stared at the floor now. You waited for him to say something. Inside you were begging him to say something. Anything, to cut your embarrassment. He didn’t speak. So you left, wishing you had listened when he told you earlier. 

“God sometimes I really fucking hate you, Gallagher.”  

He showed up at your door the morning after to apologize. You both sat on your porch steps to talk. “She dumped me after you left. She, uh, heard how upset you were. Said something about ‘girls support girls’ and left.’” 

You laughed a little, but didn’t say anything. You were still really embarrassed about last night. An angry confession was not how you ever imagined Lip to find out about your crush. You let him speak. 

“Listen, I’m sorry for how I acted last night. How I’ve been acting. I didn’t mean to make you feel neglected,” Lip said, fiddling with the pack of cigarettes in his hand. You both were facing the house across the street, refusing to look at eachother. “And I’m sorry I blew you off. I take responsibility for that and promise I won’t do it again.” 

“Thank you,” You said quietly. This wasn’t your first fight with Lip. You’d have an argument, one of you would storm out, but by morning the other would always be waiting outside eachothers’ doors to apologize. This was just another one of those mornings. The difference was now he knew that you wished you were dating. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have said that… stuff.” 

“Oh what? About wanting to be my girlfriend?” Lip looked at you and smirked. He took a cig out the box and put it between his lips. You groaned and put your head in your hands. Part of you was relieved he could joke about it. A bigger part of you was mortified. 

“We can like erase that from our memories. Please,” You pleaded. “I really prefer it if we never bring it up again.” 

Lip nodded. He offered you the box. You took a cigarette and reached for the lighter in your back pocket before lighting it. Lip took the lighter from you and did the same. 

“You know I don’t think it’s a good idea,” He said after a moment of silence. You looked at him with a pained look on your face. You felt your chest tighten. “The dating thing. I don’t like the idea.” 

“Way to rip my heart out of my chest,” You scoffed a little. You turned your face away from him. You didn’t want to lie. You felt your heart break a little at your words. There you were still hoping a part of him would like the idea. You should have prepared yourself for the rejection. 

“I don’t mean it like that.” He was looking at you fully now. “You’re too good for me, (Y/L/N).”  

“We’re good the way we are now. I don’t want to ruin that. If we date, we’ll break up, and hate each other. It’ll never be the same. This is better. Safer,” He continued once you looked back at him. “In short… I can’t lose you.” 

With that, you never talked about it again. Your feelings never dissolved, but you also never did anything about them. The conversation left you with some hope he felt the same, even if it wasn’t as much as you liked him. He kept quiet too, respecting your feelings. He never joked about it again. He kept his promise and spent more time with you, all until Karen and Mandy. You stayed clear of Karen all together, not wanting to get messed up in her shit, but Mandy was your friend. You weren’t going to abandon her because she started dating your best friend. She didn’t know about your feelings. No one did except you and Lip. 

Lip was the only thing tethering you to Chicago, but he was spending less and less time with you again as senior year was coming to an end. You tried to move on, but this boy was genuinely the only person you could tolerate in your high school. The prospect of college meant the chance to forget your feelings for him. If Lip left for college, maybe you’d both move on for good. You’d be too busy with college to bother with each other. High school was a nightmare with your unrequited feelings for Philip Gallagher and you were sick of it. 

“Did you get any news back?” Lip asked you. He was fully laying on your bed now. You looked at him and shook your head. 

“Few rejections, but I haven’t heard from my reach school yet,” you replied, shifting your position so he could lay more comfortably. 

“They’d be stupid to reject you,” he responded. He picked up the book you were reading to examine it. 

“Yeah we’ll see,” you shrugged. “I hear back from my dream school any day now. SAIC let me in though.” 

“At the art institute?” Lip looked back at you as he asked. “I thought you don’t want to go to school in Chicago.”

“I don’t, but thought I’d give it a shot. I enjoy the campus, and the museum is a big plus.” 

“You know I’d hate to have you leave me here, (Y/L/N),” Lip said, looking back at the ceiling. Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You shrugged it off and tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. He can’t say that shit. Not when he’s the only one who could convince me to stay. 

“If you go to Massachusetts, you’d be leaving too, Loser. We’d be even.” You sighed. “Besides, I got my eyes set on California. No way am I tolerating another winter here.”

The conversation ended at that. Lip stayed over until it was dark. Before leaving, he brought up a new topic. 

“You heard about the school dance next Friday?” He asked practically halfway out the door. You nodded. “Interested in going at all?”

“Are you not taking Mandy?” You asked back. Lip shook his head in reply. 

“She’s busy that night. I thought it’d be fun to go just you and me, like we used to.”

“And get high on the fields? Can’t we do that anywhere else?” You asked, grimacing. 

Lip scoffed and shook his head. “It’s the last dance of high school. I thought that’d mean something to you. For old times sake.” 

You smiled. You liked being asked to go. You hadn’t gone to many dances since high school started. It would be nice to have a night with the two of you without Mandy. You could pretend that nothing had changed since you were kids. 

—

Of course things had to change, and they were about to. You were at your mailbox holding your Berkeley acceptance in hand. The paper seemed to glow. This was it. Your ticket out of here. You practically fell to your knees reading it. Your hands were shaking too much to read anymore than the congratulations written at the top of the page. Time slowed as you began to imagine a life outside of Chicago. Your life away from the South Side, away from your school, away from your family, away from Lip. It was hard to imagine what that would look like. Lip had been by your side through everything. You grew up together. All your core memories involved him. Moving was what you wanted but you couldn’t help but grieve your time with Lip. But leaving was necessary, you couldn’t live ignoring your feelings any longer. You had to go. 

You stayed at your mail box for a while. Your eyes stayed glued to the acceptance letter until you heard a familiar voice call out to you from a few houses down. 

“You okay there, (Y/N)?” Lip shouts, standing in his front yard. His sudden presence snaps you out of your thoughts. You folded the paper up and shoved it back in the envelope before walking over to the Gallagher home. 

“Totally fine,” You half smiled, opening the gate to enter his yard. You tried desperately to shake off your visible grief. You just wanted to celebrate and spend time with your best friend. “Great even. I need a drink.” 

Lip let out a laugh and let you inside. With no further questions, you entered the house, grabbed two beers out of the fridge and made your way up the stairs into Lip’s room. Meanwhile, Lip’s eyes never left the envelope that you held in your hand.

[jaylienpotter]

Conceited

Jegulus one-shot

Warning: Lily Evans bashing (kinda)

"Why don't you give me a chance? Even to be friends?!"

Regulus turned around and walked towards the source of the noise. He knew that voice very well.

"I hate you, Potter!"

Seemed like Black's crush was getting rejected again. Part of him was sad for his brother's best friend, another, more selfish side of him, was relieved.

"Why?! What did I ever do to you? I know I was a prick to Snape sometimes-"

"You're a bully!"

"I'm not a bully! Snape isn't stupid, nor weak, nor innocent. He does the exact same thing we did to him! He's not a victim." He wasn't wrong, to be a bully meant it was one-sided. Snape and Potter were more like mortal enemies.

"Even then, you're still a rich, obnoxious, arrogant, selfish prat who doesn't shut up about himself! You're so bloody conceited!"

That hit. He could see the hurt in those dark brown eyes. People didn't know the effort the tanned skinned boy put into helping others, making sure everyone is happy, included, safe. He could have all eyes on him yet no one noticed. Except Reg. He noticed James.

"That's not true." The pair turned to him in surprise, pale hands becoming fidgety with the sudden notion of being watched. He kind of regretted speaking up.

"James doesn't talk about himself. Yes, he's sometimes a bit obnoxious and loud, and he does talk a lot but it's never centered around himself. You're getting confused with my brother, Evans."

"Oh, please. Those two are the same. You're not in Gryffindor, you don't hear them all the time." Right, but he did hear from the boy in private. In their late night talks that started after Sirius ran away. Because James didn't want Reg to feel alone. He noticed. He cared. He helped.

"What does he say then? About himself. Not about his friends. Or the stupid pranks they all pull." He dragged the word 'all', making it a point that it didn't count.

"Do you know his favourite colour? Favourite animal? Favourite classes and professors? His grades? How many people he's dated? Anything about his home life? His life goals and dreams?" It was too late to back out, the rant had begun, and you bet Blacks finish what they start.

"Because I don't think so. He might talk a shit lot, but it's about his group plans, his friends, making jokes, making others laugh when feeling like shit as so many do nowadays," himself included. "It takes a lot to get him to talk about himself as an individual, actually. You would know if you gave him a chance. But for someone so against judgemental people, you really do focus on his appearance." Green eyes wide, pink lips shut tight. Regulus contained his smirk.

"He's a good person. A great friend. Selfless and caring despite being from an old pureblood family. And he fights for what he thinks is right. He fights for others. With his big personality comes a big heart. So if you don't make space for the love he has to offer just because you think you don't believe he has it in him, he's not the conceited one." Red hair nearly flew with Lily's stormed exit. She hadn't liked their interaction in the slightest. It was better that way. She wasn't deserving.

Piercing dark eyes were burning a whole through black curls. Reg avoided James's gaze, afraid of what he'd say. He only faced him when he felt the boy closer, and he could swear Potter's eyes were sparkling.

"You meant that...?"

"Of course. You care so much about everyone else that you forget yourself. You couldn't tell me what you wanted to do in the future because it would depend on what your friends decided to do with their lives. You're the most selfless person I know, and if she thinks otherwise, she doesn't deserve your love or friendship."

Silence. He really wanted the older boy to say something, but he just stared, lips slightly parted. Icy blue eyes looked away, shoulders tensing from the attention.

Warm strong arms surrounded his small figure, nearly making him halt. But Potter's sweet, intoxicating smell had him relax and melt in his arms, wrapping his much slimmer ones around his tanned waist.

"Thanks, Reggie." His heart skipped a beat at the nickname and he hoped James didn't feel it against his own chest. He was also thankful to have his face covered, absolutely certain that his white cheeks had turned fully pink.

[kivedreams]

I WANT YOU. part. I knj.

pair. idol namjoon x f. reader. f. is latina poc.

genre. falling in love, established relationship, romance, marriage

warnings. +18 racism and colorism discussed [this part does not contain smut, but the story is not made for a minor audience] this super delulu coded [pls tell me if i missed anything ]

synopsis; you make my life shine, and I think I also make yours shine or you didn't know how hard a relationship with a famous person would be

word count: 4.7k

A/N: i let my delusions run free with this one, i think ill be four parts.

next part.

Just a the moment you thought the party was dying down they arrived, is not like you hated the idea of having a party, but this week has been hard on you, nothing went exactly as you planned, having your thesis send back two times in a row, draw you down, that thesis was the last thing between you and your PhD, you knew it was going to be hard, but God it really was testing you, of course you were happy for Namjoon today was a big day for him, he was finally releasing the book that he always wanted to publish a full guide on The Joseon era art and its influence in today's korean artwork, Namjoon was really proud of korean artists, so being able to pay homage to them was a big thing for him and for you, because Namjoon happiness was part of your own. 

The tight red dress that you were wearing might have been a bit too much, but it was Namjoon’s gift. It might have been tighter because you had put on some weight due to the stress of these months. Going to the gym or doing any type of exercise was the last thing on your mind. You would have been lying if you did not admit that, it was one of the things that were making you feel insecure tonight, your relationship was already hard, nobody believed that Namjoon the first born child of a korean family, the leader of the most successful kpop group and now Namjoon the writer would settle for you, a latin woman of color, that did not appeal to a single one of the korean standards, you weren't insecure by Namjoon’s feelings, but you were insecure on how everyone else feelings and prejudices might influence his decisions, is not like you were desperate for the ring, you really didn't need it, nor were you prepared for marriage, but sometimes it feel like the only thing that could silenced all the voices in your head, all the social media talk, and of course everyone around you. 

“Y/N?” He called for you. You were still in the balcony of the apartment, seated in the light brown handmade chair you purchased for the space, with a glass of wine enjoying the Seoul night, a slight breeze, and of course the beauty of the balcony Namjoon and you have crafted together, a lot of plants were everywhere accompanied by artworks and souvenirs that you both had collected through the years, some on your travels together, some alone.

“Yes, darling” you responded looking at him, Namjoon was an extremely handsome man, you loved that haircut in him, and his choice of clothing today was a masterpiece, that beige suit with a purple turtle neck top was a perfect mix. He looked at you with confusion in his eyes, he quickly brushed that look a way and sais,

“My parents are here, they're asking for you” Are they? was the only thing in your mind

You walked to him with a smile taking his hand, to greet them and most of the guest that have arrived since you little rendezvous to the balcony, you were begging that nobody would notice your weight, your thighs were clearly giving a show in that dress, god I hope the concealer is strong enough to cover the sleep bags in my eyes, do I still have lipstick on?

“Y/N!” His father greeted you “You look so beautiful tonight! How is your thesis going? Are you close to the finish line?” His father always looked happy to see you, but was he?

“Mr. Kim! Thank you! And yes I'm close to the finish line, if everything goes as planned, I will be able to present it in a few weeks” You responded with a smile giving him a hug and doing the same with his mother. She always looked at you, at your hair with curiosity?  Of course 4B coils were not the norm in Korea, but Korean beauty standards weren't going to pressure you into hating your beautiful hair.

After polite talks and greetings for a whole night with people that were close to both of you, in professional and personal level, the night was over, Namjoon and you finished saying good bye to the last guest and his agent, the night was a success, as you knew it would be, Namjoon never fails to amaze you, you saw him the whole night , moving around and enchanting everyone, you get it, you too were enchanted by him.

Finally being able to get rid of the uncomfortable shoes and the red lace around your waist that made the dress even tighter and letting Namjoon in the living room talking with the service that was in charge of getting everything clean up and tidy again, walking straight to your room, dreaming of the comfort of your bed, you forgot all the things that were placed on top of it, because you didn't trust any of the frail art pieces to be in the open while everybody drank and mingle, with not other option, you moved to the balcony, walking down to the kitchen first taking a glass of wine with you and politely smiling to the service, Namjoon was out of your sight.

Sitting on the cold floor of the balcony letting your hair free from the detailed bun that it was made into, enjoying the silence and peace of the night. You felt empty, maybe too much stress plus the insecurities in your relationship were passing you the bills, in a few months you would be 30, and if you get your PhD granted, working as a full time curator in the national art museum of Seoul, just what you wanted, but was Namjoon on your side for it? you didn't know.

“Babe” He called, putting a blanket on top of you, you did not realize how cold you were until he did so “ Tired? they are almost finishing, our room is ready, lets go” 

You looked at him from the floor with your face resting on the wooden bench, giving him a little nod, but your body was not responding to the idea of standing up, maybe you were too tired, maybe it was that third glass of wine, reminding you that alcohol was not your forte.

“Too tired? “ He said lifting you up, you hugged him, getting flooded by his strong musky scent.

Before you could realize it you were already on the bedroom, headlight turn off, the only light in the room coming from the bed stands, Namjoon sat you on the edge of the bed looking at you with curious eyes, his hands on you waist, you could feel his breathing, warmth, “Can we talk in the morning?” you ask, with almost no energy to spare.

“Is everything ok?” he asked back, now with a worried look on his face.

“Yes, I am exhausted, let's talk tomorrow please” you said standing up making your way to the bathroom, trying to unzip the dress off and failing. 

“Ok” He said, hugging you from the back, there it was again his scent, it made you feel so calm, at peace.

He started to remove the dress from you, leaving you there exposed to his eyes, and to yours. You could see the reflection in the mirror, how he was hugging you even harder, tighter, Namjoon loved you, you knew that.  He started to remove his own clothes, making you move the other side of the sink to remove your makeup.

You heard the water running in the tub, namjoon got close to you naked, “Want to take a bath?” 

“No, I’ll take a quick shower and go to bed”

“Ok darling “ He said, kissing your neck. Making you move.

He flicked due to the inspected action “I'm not in the mood to have sex” You said, before he could say anything.

“Is ok, I just want to feel you…” he said with a hurt look, you took a step back using the shower as an excuse. Namjoon was even more confused, because you never rejected physical touch, so it felt as if you were rejecting him, but you weren’t, you just wanted to reject the feeling that you had for him, because it felt like you had everything to lose.

It was around 2AM when you two were in bed together, Namjoon pulled you close, and you couldn't say no, you couldn't do that to him again. Nighttime passed through your eyes seeing the sun rise that sunday morning, you weren't able to sleep just thinking about all the possibilities, weighing your options, you could finish your phd and go back to your country, even though it was useless, jobs for a art history doctor, were not easy to find everywhere, you didn't think that you would be able to continue to live in korea after breaking up with him… the thought made you sob, you couldn't stay in bed anymore, so you quietly stood up, walking to your safe place the balcony.

The living room was like it always use to be everything clean up and in its place, you saw the blanket that namjoon used on you last night perfectly folded, taking it to the balcony with you, a cup of tea to clean your mind and a lonely space for you to cry in peace, and there you were cuddling up in the chair, with the cold morning breeze it was 6AM, but you were crying, because there were no other options for you, you knew, Namjoon would not settle for you, you'll never live up to the standard needed to be his wife, so it was better to finish it now, than wait for later.

Only your cries and the mobile hanging in the side could be heard, so that was it, like that, it was going to be over.

“Y/N?!” He called, and you used all your strength to hide your tears, but of course he noticed.

“Are you ok honey? Talk to me” You could hear the worry in his voice, you really tried to pull back the tears, but seeing him did not help

And there, both of you were, him hugging you and giving you solace, until your crying stopped, and all you could feel was his heartbeat, his hand going up and down comforting you. There he was for you, and you were about to end a 4 year old relationship.

You meet namjoon 7 months into arriving in seoul, while you were doing your master your favorite professor suggested you to pursue a doctorate in Korea, she knew people, she could get you a internship in Seoul’s national museum while you studied, and of course she knew people in HanYang university, you knew she was an important woman in the area, but you sub estimated her contacts and power, and there you were a year later accepted into Hanyang university with a full scholarship and paid internship, you didn't know how, but the rumor that you were there due to nepotism spread all over your department reaching your workplace, while it was true that your professor helped you, the scholarship was won fairly due to your grades and the ingenuity of your master's thesis. It made your work and student life harder, as if the racism and colorism wasn't enough, but of course you weren't there to make friends, you were there to finish your studies and make a name for yourself. 

That just made everyone hated you more, your coworkers thought it would be great for you, a newly hire to conduct a private view of a new exposition for a VIP, at that point you did not know if it was the racism, the nepotism rumor or because they did not want to make it themselves; but at the end that's how you met namjoon, of course you knew who he was, you might not been his fan, but you knew what his impact was, the quality of his music, and the power he had. His whole presence made you nervous, but you weren't going to risk your job nor lose the professionalism. He ended up being there because the director invited him to look at the new collection that you direct boss had picked, but he wanted it to be private, he wanted to enjoy it, and that's how the both of you ended up there, sitting on the floor of the museum admiring the work behind the main art piece.

“Now I understand, why he wanted me to look at it in person” he said with a smile “it is magnific, it was worthy escaping from the studio for this”

“I know, art can free you, it's like the whole world shut down for a minute and you can breathe” you said, genuinely happy, because he was really calm and easy to talk to, so you weren't nervous anymore, it was a success.

“Indeed” he said looking at you, you felt the warm in your face because of the way he was looking at you, he stood up and helped you too “It has been a pleasure Y/N, meeting you and the collection, I think now I am supposed to take a photo” You got frozen en place, his voice was deep and raspy, it got you flustered, you came back to your senses

“Y-yes, you do, gimme a minute to look for the camera” You said moving quickly.

You took various photos of him, he looked great in every single one, Namjoon was a handsome man, and on top of that he was so humble and easy, maybe you expectatives where in the low as soon as you heard the world VIP or maybe Namjoon was just different, he made your heart move faster.

While you were tidying up he approached you with a question,

“Y/N would you like to take a photo with me?” it surprised you , but you did not have the ability to say no.

He pulled you close, you didn't know what to do, and he noticed, so he just told you to smile, you did so, but only god knows how you ended up looking in that picture. After that he said his farewell, and you could see his bodyguards getting closer than they were before.

It was such an experience it shaked your life for the next days, you could only think of him and his strong scents, it was so good, like a forest, as the freshness of the summer, Namjoon really did a number on you, you googled half of his life in those days, and started to listing to his music, it was really good, now you understood even more his fame. At the moment that you thought that you were forgetting the flustered feeling that he led on you, he posted it, he posted the photo that he took with you, you had a start sticker on your face, and his caption left you thinking about him even more,

art can free you, the whole world shut down for a minute and you can breathe

Did he post that because of you? Did he?

====================================

It was a normal thursday, you were in the subway on your way to work, thinking about the essay you had due this sunday, it was almost done, but you felt it was missing something, moonchild playing on your airpods. The day promised to be rainy, it always rained in seoul, but not in the sad depressing way it rained in London, Seoul’s rain was calm and nostalgic, sometimes it was full of rage. 

You didn't have much to do at work that day, the inauguration of the exposition was a success, you replied to the emails you had, sent some codes and updated the maintenance date of some artworks.

“Miss. Y/N, Mr. Park is asking to see you, if you could go to his office please” the voice caught you by surprise, it came from Mr. Shin, executive assistant of the museum director, the surprise was more in him coming directly to see you instead of sending you an email. Have something happened, did you mess up something…

You colleagues gave you strange and curious looks, it wasn't a normal situation, and their looks worked as a further confirmation. 

Walking through the administration hallways behind Mr. Shin, got you nervous, what could've gone wrong why are they calling you, are you fired? no, R.R.H.H would’ve called for that. Mr. Shin led you to the office door and retired, you could not bring yourself to knock at the door scared, but there was no other way of escaping it. You knocked on the door twice, until you heard a deep voice say, “Come in”

You opened the door using all your strength and calm “Good morning Mr. Park, how may I help-

You stopped on your word when you saw Namjoon sitting in the middle of the room, Mr. Park's office was big, two mauve sofas facing each other in front of the big brown desk, and Namjoon was seated in one of them looking at you with a smile.

“Hello ‘Y/N” his deep voice filling the room, “Please sit down’” he said signaling the sofa in front of him

You were frozen in your step, why was Namjoon there? you quickly got back to your senses, and greeted him sitting in front of him, you didn't know if the nervousness was visible, your hands were sweaty, while they rested on your knees.

“I know you got up here thinking you were going to see YoungJo, I am sorry for that, but I did not wanted to make a fuss, hope you understand” you nodded in comprehension, of course it was going to be worse if Kim Nam Joon came calling for you, it was already weird Mr. Park doing so.

“I'm going to be direct, would you like to work for me?” The shock was painted in your face “I want someone to curate some art pieces for my parents house, and for my house too, since our conversation last week, I feel that you would be perfect for it, we share the same art vision”

You couldn't say a word, he was waiting for your response, but since you stood there in silence he continue “Money is not the problem, nor is the time, please name your price and tell me when we can start working together”

“I-I, are you sure? wouldn't you like someone more professional for this? someone with more experience in the area” you muttered, still lacking the words.

“No” he said solemnly “I am not looking for experience or somebody with a name in this, I want you and your fresh views, I read your master thesis, and I know your working in your doctorate, as I said your vision is what I want, it amuse me”

“Can I think about it?” You said, but what was there to think.

“Of course” he said “Here look, this is my personal number, you can call me or add me to Kakao, and my agent number in case I don't respond, but it is unlikely” he handed you both of the cards, looking at your shocked face with a smile. “If someone asks, just tell them that YoungJo confused you with someone else, ok?”

You nodded, still feeling out of place, looking at his almond shaped eyes, he said goodbye and left, letting you there. You slowly stood up, and walked to your department, art acquisitions, as soon as you arrived your coworkers started whispering. You sat down keeping face, when you were about to start working, Anja, who seated next to you asked,

“Hey Y/N what was that about?” with curiosity flooding her face, you smile and said loud enough,

“It was nothing, looks like they were calling someone else and somehow they got to me” you said shrugging your shoulders, resting importance to it, with you saying that the whispering and the looks finished.

The rest of the day was normal, but you still could feel the nervousness in your gut, he read your thesis, and wanted you to help him curate art for his family house and his home, it feel surreal, to good to be truth, but if it was, the opportunity was amazing, Namjoon would become your first private client, the scholarship money was decent, and you pay wasn’t that bad, but you knew that whatever Namjoon would pay you would be enough to pay rent until you found a space in the campus dorms. You weren't sure yet, there wasn't a big reason to say no, but you felt insecure. What if your work does not live up to his expectations?

You arrived home putting those thoughts to rest, working on your assignments and studying your lectures, before you could realize it, it was already past midnight and you knew what you were going to say.

Hello Mr. Kim,

I would love to work with you, please let’s discuss terms and conditions.

Have a great day, “Y/N”

12:51 am

Looking at your phone screen maybe it was too short? but it didn't need any more it was concise, you hit sent, without realizing, that you did not programmed the text message to be sent at 9 in the morning, panicking looking at the screen, until those 3 hell looking dots started blinking,

Amazing, and yes I’ll have a great day ;)

knj

12:52 am

===========================================

And there you were the next day, in front of Namjoon’s workplace building, he asked you to come the next day to discuss the job requirements and pay, you set a 3PM meeting with him, going to the big doors of HYBE ent. you were nervous hand sweating approaching the reception, you'd feel the looks, but is not like you cared anymore, but maybe you should had hided your hair today, everyone at work was already use to it, but this was a new environment, the comfort of your usual places made you forget where you were.

“Hello good evening, I have a meeting” You say approaching one of the well groomed ladies in front of you, she looked you up and down, and say,

“Excuse you?” Your korean might not be the best, but it wasn't bad, now being here for almost 8 months it had clearly improved, you repeated yourself, and then she ‘understood’

“Ok, May I know the name of the person and their department please?” she said with a smirk in her face,

“I don't know his department, the name is Kim Nam Joon” she and the two ladies at her side looked at you like you were a rare species. 

“Are you sure of that?” She said with a shuckle, she wanted to laugh, it was clearly on her face.

“Yes I am sure, I wouldn't have come here if I wasn't” you said annoyed.

“Miss please, don't shame yourself in here, please go, or I'll be obligated to call security” the disgusted expression on her face saying everything you needed to know.

“Could you at least call him to verify?” keeping the last strand of politeness you asked.

“No. Please leave or I'll call security” she said standing up signaling the big crystal doors.

You were mad, not knowing what to do walking down to the doors, hearing his laughs and the looks of the people around, until of course your brain reacted, you were a smart girl after all,

Hello Mr. Kim I am already here

2:58 pm 

Ok, amazing please come to my studio they'll tell you the floor ;p

2:59 am

I am not being allowed, I went to the front desk and they asked me to go, should I?

3:00 pm

What? why? please dont leave, youre in the lobby right ill come to you

3:00 pm

You read the last text, still being mad but now you knew that namjoon actually wanted you there, you stood close to the door still with some of the looks in you, but they couldn't send you out, you haven't done anything and you could easily say you were going to the store. 5 minutes passed and you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket Namjoon was calling you.

“Hi Y/N? on what side are you?” his voice sounded agitated, as if he had run.

“Hello, yes, I’m close to the doors, I have a white cardigan and a brown plaid scarf” 

“I think I see you” and when he said that, you heard the commotion, there he was, his hair looking frizzy, like he had been passing his fingers through it. He had a pale green sweatshirt, a dark brown jacket and light brown trousers.

You heard the call finish, and he was getting closer to you, the people in the lobby were looking at him, and you were too but not with the same eyes. Namjoon looked so hot, he smiled at you, he was happy to see you and that calmed your heart.

“Hello Y/N, I thought you would leave” he said, extending his hand to you, you shaked hands with him.

“I almost did” you said, trying to conceal the discomfort in your voice.

“What happened, why couldn't you come in? it was just a call away” he said smiling to the people around you, you started walking with him and two bodyguards started walking at the sides.

“I explained that to the lady but she did not care to confirm that”

“Who?” the demanding tone clearly in his voice he stopped to look at you, his eyes waiting for an answer

“T-he lady with the ponytail” you mutter, namjoon’s eyes intimidate you.

“Is ok” he said, dragging you to the front desk, “Can I have a visitors pass for MY guest” he was clearly annoyed, and you were too, the face in the lady was priceless, she was between shock and disbelief, until she actually needed to talk,

“C-can I have some form of ID? " she asked, you opened your purse to take your passport, going directly to your work visa.

=========================================

Namjoon drove you to his studio, scanning his face on the door. The hallway to it was beautifully decorated with small and big art pieces, Namjoon really had a great taste, his studio was small but cozy, you could feel how he crafted every space himself, it screamed his whole personality. 

“Please sit down” he said and you did so “Before we begin I am obligated to made you sign a NDA, is just protocol” he said sitting in from of you handing you a folder

“Yes, I understand” you said, giving a quick read to the NDA, you signed because it was ok and handed it to him.

“Ok, perfect. Do you want something to drink? I’m making myself a coffee” he stood up waiting for your answer.

“Water would be fine”

“I don't like to beat around the bush Y/N, I want you to pick beautiful and meaningful pieces for me, I would do it myself” he brought a glass of water for you, while holding a cup of smoking coffee “But I am pretty busy right now and I like you, and your style. Your thesis in Seurat, was an enjoyable read, and I feel that your fresh vision would be perfect for what I want” He sat down in front of you taking a sip, you did the same, Namjoon made you nervous, his aura was intoxicating.

“I get it, still, I don't have a full experience curating, I might have the theory but I stick lack the practice” you said being honest

“I'm giving the practice to you, what about 15% for every piece you pick for me? " he said with a smile that made his dimples show up.

You smiled at him “What about 20%?” You smirked.

“25%, do we have a deal?” he put down his cup to look you directly in the eyes.

“W-we do.” you smiled at him nervously due to his gaze.

“You could've said 50% and I would have said yes. I just want you.” He said standing up, giving you his hand, his words made you lose your breath.

=======================

from delululand with love, kive &lt;3

[missalenkos]

Today, I was rewatching The Hunger Games and watching the love triangle between Peeta, Katniss and Gale got me thinking of the last lines of Mockingjay and one of the main reasons I love Shenko so much (yeah, there's a connection, I promise).

"On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself".

There are loads of differences between the situations and characters, I know that. I also know Shepards can be different personality-wise depending on the background we choose, if we tend more to paragon or renegade and so on. However, I still think they all share the fact that there's a huge responsibility on their shoulders and that they all will do whatever it takes to end the Reapers. Yeah, Paragon/Renegade Shepard will have different ways of going about that but, despite what our personal headcanons might be, the truth is that in-game, all Shepards end up working for Cerberus and destroying the Alpha Relay because that's what they think they NEED to do. We also talk a lot in fandom about how Shepard seems (maybe unknowingly) almost suicidal in the sense that they will throw themselves almost blindingly into anything because, again, that's what they NEED to do.

And, of course, it couldn't be any other way, because as Anderson says in the opening scene of ME1, that's the only kind of person that can protect the galaxy.

However, although they are special, the people surrounding them are almost as equally important and while, yes, it's great and necessary to have all kind of friends and companions, what they really need is a cornerstone, someone to hold the kite so they won't drift too far away, someone who can contain their fire so they won't end up burning. Being that cornerstone is not easy, because, sometimes it will mean saying "yes, let's freaking steal the Normandy" and "let's go on a crazy adventure", but sometimes it will also mean asking the hard questions, calling them on their bullshit or saying "lets stay home for dinner (because you need to get some actual rest)".

And that's Kaidan. No one could be that cornerstone better than him because he's thoughtful, caring, gentle, capable, straight forward but ready to own his mistakes, has himself already sorted out and has his own moral compass.

People like to hate him for this, but I'm 100% convinced that it's actually what Shepard needs in the long-run.

Actually, he's the only companion that was hand-picked by Anderson, and I'm sure he knew exactly what he was doing there by having him in the same crew as Shepard.

And, well, that's it. Just another reason to love our canadian biotic brought to you by Katniss Everdeen 🤷🏻‍♀️

[heyhihellosworld]

𝗔 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱

Masterlist

Mason Mount x reader

Summary: When y/n comes to Mason's house to gather her friends things the two are having a hard time keeping away from each other

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings：This short serie will contain Angst, Smut, Fluff, a toxic friendship+talk about slight toxic/bad relationship, alcohol

Notes: So this will be a multiply part series

"I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to" was the only thing that repeated in your head as you sat in your car. You had been hesitant when Elly asked you to do her a favor and when you found out what she was asking you had refused. But of course, when coming to Elly, she always got her way so here you where. Sitting outside of Masons gigantic house dreading having to face him again.

You considered to just drive off, say he wasn't home and strike it but you also in a way wanted to see him again. You had met him a year before when Elly had introduced the two of you. There was no shock that she would date someone like him just like there where no shock when she told you they had broken up.

You had always liked Mason, he was sweet and funny. A little too sweet for Elly so you had to admit you were slightly relieved when they broke up knowing how Elly was.

"You can do it" you pepped before stepping out of the car, sighing before walking up his staircase and knocking on the door. You had messaged him before, saying you would come to not surprise him and make sure he was home.

The door opened almost imedatly and he met you with a smile.

"Finally, I was wondering how long you would sit in your car"

You felt your face heat up as you stuttered "I-eh I just..."

Mason laughed at you, closing the door as you moved into the house, throwing your bag down at the floor

"So, what is it that she wants?" He questioned, leading the way into the house and to the living room.

You furrowed your eyebrows "I-I don't know, she said you knew"

He turned to you with raised eyebrows and let out a bitter chuckle "I don't know what she wants. I don't have much of hers left"

"Fucking great" you muttered throwing your head back in annoyance

"Sometimes I wish she could break up with me too" you muttered, looking at him as he raised his eyebrows "Excuse me"

"Well no-not like that and i'm sorry but she is just... a fucking pain!"

Mason giggled, slumping back into the big grey couch in the living room "For your information I broke up with her" "You did?" you asked, slightly shocked. He hummed as an answer "And you're right she is a fucking pain and you could break up with her too"

"You don't think I've tried? Like a million times?" "So why are you still her 'friend'"

"Because she is a manipulative bitch. Every time I am close to break free she says something or does something and I'm right back into her palm" you shook your head at yourself before clearing your throat, realizing where you where and with who. "Anyway, you don't know what she wants?" Mason shook his head "I'm sorry but I don't"

"Okay then just give me everything you know is hers and let's hope that's it"

Mason glared at you with a look that said 'really' and you couldn't help but to sigh "Mason what am I supposed to do then! Come on" "Fine fine" he gave up, raising his hands in surrender "No need to be rude" he huffed

"Sorry Mason, I didn't mean to be rude" you sighed out as he stood up from the couch and moving forward into the house. "You've always been rude so no need to apologize" he muttered, opening the door to his now spare bedroom but what used to be hers for her stuff. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him "I have never been rude" you argued as you followed him in, the room was as he had said pretty empty.

He tilted his head back to watch you with raised eyebrows and a smile on his lips. "No?" "No I haven't, have I?" you asked confusedly, not recognizing when that would've been. "I would say yes, I always thought you hated me"

"What!" you asked in disbelief, plopping down on the bed as you stared at him moving around in the room, gathering stuff and putting them on the bed. "What, you never knew that?" "You're telling me I have been rude to you all the time we've known each other????" "Not rude all the time but you've always been distant and Elly said you didn't like me" "Oh well sure because Elly always tells the truth" you mocked, making him chuckle "Well no but you haven't actually proved differently" "I've never disliked you" you admitted, looking at his back and suddenly feeling a rush of confidence. "I've just always held my distance because you were Elly's boyfriend and I felt drawn to you and sure she is a bitch but I wouldn't do anything like that"

Masons body stiffened as he slowly turned around to face you, a unreadable expression on his face. "Drawn to me?"

You shrugged again "Well, yeah. You must know you're hot and I always liked how sweet you were, too sweet for her and therefore I just kept my distance. Not wanting to overstep in any way"

Mason full on grinned now, looking way to pleased as he walked closer. Putting down the cloak that he had in his hands next to you on the bed and coming close, a little too close almost.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I felt drawn to you too the second I first saw you?"

"No" you deadpanned making him laugh, the hot breath fanning your face

"Why not?" he stated, looking into your eyes "Because you were together with Elly and I know you were satisfied with that at the moment"

He only huffed as an answer, pouting his lips jokingly

"How do you know that?" "That's not important"

"Alright, but regardless of what you think that's how I felt" You hummed, not believing him for one second "You don't believe me do you?" he chuckled, "nope" you popped smiling up at him.

"Well suit yourself then but I have thought about ripping your clothes off from the day we met" he whispered, trailing his finger over the strap of your tank-top. His touch sent shock waves through your body, a shiver rippling down your spine. "Stop it" you whispered, standing up from the bed. He moved in front of you so your bodies were pressed up together, faces too close.

"Stop it, I don't wanna be a bad friend" you whispered again, taking a step back. "Is it anything more of hers you've got?" you said quickly, trying to rid the tension that had surrounded the two.

Mason smirked, a way to big and cocky smirk that you'd like to slap away as he nodded. "I think I have some of her makeup and maybe some clothes in my bedroom" You cursed internally but nodded for him to lead the way.

You had been at his house before but you didn't know your way trough the house and you'd only been in the bedroom once when Elly needed emergency outfit help.

He had changed it a lot, actually completely. What had before been light and quite girly was now darker and more.... Mason like.

"Okay, I think she left some of the clothes in that drawer" he said pointing at one of them before emerging into the bathroom.

You walked over to the dresser and looked through it, it was lingerie and underwear. Your eyes widened at the sight of all different pieces and sets that she owned and hesitantly took a handfull of them just as Mason came out of the bathroom with a small bag, laughing at your face expression as you put them in a bag. "Please tell me this is all Elly's" you groaned as you dropped them. Mason laughed and shrugged "I think so, not sure tough"

You grimaced as you moved back to the dresser to take the rest. Your eyes got stuck on one of the sets which was especially revealing.

You picked it up on your finger and waved it to Mason who laughed at you again. "This is equal to nothing. Why not be naked?" you questioned "It's like a nipple cover not even covering down there with this little strap" you point out flipping the string at him.

"Well that's the point, it's supposed to be sexy y/n, have you ever worn lingerie?" You scoffed at him slightly offended as you put the rest of the clothes in the bag. "I have but if I am gonna wear something nice I would rather it actually being shown, like that one is nothing" "Okay okay" he surrendered plopping down on the bed, leaning back casually on his palms. "Have you bought any of these?" you questioned, chucking him the bag. "I have" he admitted, pursing his lips and messing around in the bag before pulling up a few and showing you.

"You actually got good taste" you hummed, scanning the pieces he showed. "Take one" he suggested but you chuckled, shaking your head. "Not a chance I would wear that knowing you've fucked her in it" you scoffed

"She hasn't worn most of them, at least not for me" he defended but you just shook you head. "Not gonna take the risk"

"Is this all?" you questioned. Looking him in the eyes as he nodded, standing up and walking up close to you again. "I think it's all the stuff"

"Okay great, thank you for the help" you breathed, getting flustered as he walked closer to you. "No problem" he breathed, fanning your face once again. Your whole body heated up by his close approximate, heart beating louder and breathing heavier as he leaned forward.

"I hope we meet soon again and I hope you've dropped that friend of yours so I can do what I want to do with you"

His voice was breathy and low as you tried to gather yourself.

You didn't say anything, just pushed him away from you slightly as you took the bags and hurried down the stair. "Okay Mason, thanks for the help, bye bye" you shouted, hearing him laugh a bye as you ran out of the house and into your car.

[your-local-baguette]

Rather Be, Rather be

part 1

Warnings:not proofread, contains triggering subjects, read at your own risks. Cheap ass german btw manga spoilers

Half of this was made a lot later, so, apologies if they are a few incoherence. Enjoy!

You walked next to isagi, the first match was in ten days, you were simply walking in silence, both with one earphone. You grabbed the hair tie around your wrist and started tying up your hair in a small ponytail. You yawned before holding the door open for Yoichi, walking inside the cafeteria with him. You went to sit at a table, while isagi went to get his meal, you took out your phone, scrolling through some messages. Mostly from your mom, sometimes Anri, but that was pretty rare. Someone sat in front of you and it wasn't Yoichi, you raised your gaze to be met with micheal's, you raised an eyebrow at him. "Why hello" he said, that fake ass smile still attached to his face, you didn't answer at first but you gave him a little wave. When isagi arrived, he sat next to you, placing his plate, while he took out the earphone you gave him, handing it to you. Yoichi looked at your lack of food " not hungry ?" You shook your head, while he raised his shoulder, pretty much ignoring kaiser. "I simply accompanied you here so i wouldn't spend the evening in my room" he nodded, before placing his chopstick on the rest. "That's understandable, anyway, what training did you do today?" He asked, legitimately curious "i did core strength and dribbling" he chuckled "just sharpening your best skills gain, mhm ?" He had managed to get out a little smile out of you "yea.."

"dribbling huh ?"

A voice behind you said, one you knew a little too well, you looked over your shoulder only to be met with a pair of teal eyes. "Rin..." He didn't say anything else "you should sharpen your other skills instead" he said, still with his emotionless face. "I do, i do, but just not today" you said of a gentle voice, your features softening around the itoshi, when he sat down next to you, you rested your head on his shoulder, while he rolled his eyes. Nonetheless, he didn't move, acting as if he didn't care ( he does care). As for kaiser, that was sitting in front of you, was smiling, 'that fake ass'.

You lifted your gaze to cross the blond, letting it linger far too long on his his.

'wait a damn minute..'

'that look he had...'

"micheal...?"

His lips tugged into a smirk, raising an eyebrow.

"calling me by my first name now, what is it ?"

You rolled your eyes at his teasing tone

"can we talk later..alone"

"oh ? Sure hübsch" ( i'm so sorry if i didn't spell it right, i'm sure it means pretty but correct me if it doesn't)

"i'll come get you.."

For once, the blond was actually quite cooperative, simply nodding and walked off.

"Say rin ?"

He hummed

"did you see it too ?"

"...yes"

I nodded, raised my head from his shoulder and stretched my arms out a little.

"i'll see you two another time, i have to go talk to choppy hair"

Yoichi snickered, but as you walked away he glared at rin, the two didn't get along that well, but not the kind like shidou and rin. The older player got up and walked away with his empty plate, leaving rin lost in thought.

As for you, the quiet sound of your shoes hitting the ground couod be heard, you were walking quite fast to reach choppy hair's room. You walked past many, many doors until you reached the desired one.

Although you asked him to talk, you felt quite nervous about this, but you knocked. It didn't take long before the blond opened the door, inviting you in, you nodded and walked in.

"you seemed serious about talking to me earlier, what is it "

"micheal, i know it might be indiscreet to ask this, but i'll get to the point"

...

He stayed silent

"why do you hate yourself?"

Kaiser swore he felt his breathing stop hearing your question. You're right, why did he hate himself, he didn't even know.. No that's not true, he knows why, but he doesn't want to admit.

"why do you wanna know that ? You care about me, hübsch?"

He responded, still with that cocky smile of his, but his gaze crossed your again, contrary to his, the energy you gave off, you were dead serious.

That's when it hit him, you were being for real, real, you actually cared, being that sassy exterior, you fucking cared. That's what made it harder for him to say it...but guess what ? He did it anyway.

"because i'm not good enough, if i don't get better then my career will just go down...i need to surpass N-"

"that's the problem, setting goals for yourself is fine, it'a good even. But if you can't do it now, take a step back to take two forward. You're allowed to rest micheal, but i can tell, that's not the only thing bothering you, is it"

That wasn't even a question, he couldn't answer that, he knew that you already know, but, now did he expect you to hint towards it ? No he fucking didn't.

The more his eyes loosed themselves in yours, the more he felt like you read him as an open book.

"body dismorphia? It isn't easy, is it ?"

He didn't answer, but what purpose would it do anyway, you already knew the answers to all that.

" why?"

....

"why do you ask me all this when you know the answer ?"

"because i want to know how you feel it"

..

"but micheal, it i'll be fine, so hang on a little longer, mkay ?"

What followed after this was the last thing he expected, his forehead was resting on your shoulder, and he broke. The tears, they spilled out, he just couldn't anymore, he felt your arms around him.

'oh, as much as this comforts him, he'd rather be, rather be, somebody else'

_________________________________________

Thank you for reading up until now, now, this story was not necessarily romantic with micheal, but more platonic. Hopefully you weren't disappointed.

[sariahsue]

Jealousy Ch 2

Adrien's point of view

(Chapter one (Marinette's pov) here. Please note that I started this story in the ancient days of May 2021.)

---

Chat Noir almost always felt at home in Marinette's room. It was cozy and warm, lined with layers of fabric, like she was building a soft den. It was so different from his own old and sterile room. His windows let him see outside at the same time they reminded him he would always be disconnected from it. Marinette leaned against him, but tonight, no matter how close he physically was to her, he felt like they were on opposite sides of glass.

Their playing cards had been knocked out of their piles by Marinette's victory dance. A container of leftover noodles lay empty on its side. And Chat Noir held steady against Marinette's weight as she relaxed into his side.

There were so many things he couldn't tell her. So many things he wanted her to understand. "Hey, Bug?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Aren't you asking something now?" she joked. "Sure."

He hesitated. Asking was only a few steps removed from the forbidden act of telling. (Not his name. Not how many days it had been since he'd last had dinner with his father, or been given a hug.) He wanted to ask why she'd taken down all her pictures of Adrien. What had he done as his civilian self that had upset her so much? She stayed perfectly polite to him at school.

Instead he asked, "If it weren't for that other guy, do you think you would have fallen for me?"

Marinette leaned away. It wasn't the first time he'd asked a variation of this question. It was almost always on his mind. His rival.

"Um... do you want to play another round of Uno," she deflected, "or should we do something else?"

"Marinette, I'm serious. Would you have?"

She shrugged. "Maybe, I guess. Video games? I have UMS 4."

"Really, that's it? You guess? That's not a real answer."

"Please, chaton. Don't do this to yourself."

He selfishly slid closer to her. Not many people allowed him to be in their space like this, and the need to touch her was too much. If she felt like he was chasing her, she didn't complain. A reminder that at least someone wanted him around.

He didn't stop until he could feel her comfortable body heat against his side again. "I just want to know."

He'd expected a simple yes or no.

"You're kind and compassionate. You're reliable. You're funny." She stopped, taking care to find her next words. He thought she would just tell him no. "We have such a strong connection, and I trust you with my life. You're brave. You're my best friend."

Marinette's voice dropped for the devastating truth. "It would have been so easy. That's the real answer."

Chat Noir struggled to stay still, focusing on not hugging her, not crying, not moving. Even if she didn't love him back, she did in some way love him. She just… loved someone else more. Differently. Who was it? Adrien watched her at school. He knew Alya teased her constantly about her love life and Marinette's inability to talk to the mysterious boy who'd so effortlessly caught her attention. Adrien never overheard his name, though he'd tried.

"So why haven't you talked to him yet?" Chat Noir asked.

"What?"

"If you'd pick him over all that, then you must like him a lot, but you aren't together."

Marinette shifted, looking at him for the first time since gifting him a list of her favorite things about him (a gift he didn't deserve). "And I can't imagine anyone rejecting you, so you must not have asked him out yet."

"I'm... very awkward around him. I'm pretty sure I make him uncomfortable sometimes."

"I doubt it," he said. "So who is he?" Another question he hadn't been able to ask before. But he was tired of the glass in between them. If he couldn't be with her, maybe knowing more about her would help. This nameless boy was such a huge part of her life.

And one of the biggest obstacles in his.

Marinette got up and walked away, her back to him. "We shouldn't be talking about this."

"Why not?"

"Because I hate this!" Her face was pained as she turned to him. "I hate hurting you every time you bring it up."

The headless mannequin was suddenly very interesting. Father didn't have his own mannequin until he was nearly 18. Marinette was more passionate and more talented.

"I'm only curious," he lied. He felt like a bad friend for pushing, but there was only so much he could learn about her from studying the decor in her room. "I just want to know what type of person attracts Ladybug. That's all." And find out what he still lacked.

"I'll tell you under two conditions. One, you stop asking about it. Two, you don't laugh at me."

"Laugh?" he asked. "Why would I laugh?"

"Because you're going to think it's a celebrity crush, and it's not."

He waved to distract her from his face. He hoped it was neutral, but he couldn't be sure. A celebrity? She had a crush on some random celebrity? That's who his competition was?

Marinette groaned. "Adrien Agreste."

He didn't think. Didn't realize he'd stood up until he was walking toward her. The glass was shattering. "Plagg, claws in!"

"NO!" she shrieked, snapping her eyes shut. Had she seen? "What are you doing? Put your suit back on!"

"No."

"I'm not going to look at you."

Plagg bobbed back and forth between the two of them, then flew off to find Tikki. That was as close to permission as he was going to give.

"You have to retransform." Her commanding tone was at odds with the way she backed up, flinching away from him until she hit her desk, hiding her face in an effort to protect him. Or maybe herself.

"No," he repeated, "not until you look."

"You'll have to," she said. "You can't walk out my front door and let people see you. You'll have to leave the way you came in."

"You're just going to keep your eyes closed for the rest of the night?"

She nodded.

Adrien walked over to her, his socked feet stepping lightly over the remains of their time together. He wrapped her in a loose hug, and then waited. After a few seconds, Marinette dropped her hands from her face and sunk into him. He took that as permission to hug her the way he'd always wanted, like he was never going to let her go.

Maybe he didn't have to.

He was the boy. The rival. The obstacle. She could know all of him, and he wouldn't have to feel so fragmented and broken. There would be nothing left to come between them, if only she would open her eyes.

Marinette shivered in his arms. His fire dimmed, replaced with softness at her worry. It was so much better to hold her without thick armor in the way, just a few layers of fabric.

He wouldn't force her to look, but he wasn't above leading her for once. He could tell himself that it would be an advantage, tactically, for her to know who he was. It would strengthen their partnership, but really, he just needed her to know him.

"I'm not opening my eyes," she said.

"Then please just listen to my voice. I won't tell you my name, but please just listen?"

She pushed her face into his neck, skin to skin, and breathed deeply, nodding. Adrien wanted to drop his head on top of hers, but instead only leaned down, letting her hair brush his cheek. Almost nothing in between them.

"When I'm not transformed, I'm much quieter."

"A quiet Chat Noir?" Marinette teased. "What must that be like?"

"I don't show off either. I try to avoid attention, actually. I get too much of it."

Marinette didn't ask him why, though he'd expected it. He hoped it was because she was trying to figure it out despite herself.

"Did you know that we know each other outside the masks? We go to the same school."

He stopped, letting her come to the truth if she was ready. Despite what he wanted, and how desperately he needed to be seen by her, this ultimately had to be her choice. If she wanted to understand, she would.

Marinette's fingers started to roam, first to his ungloved hand, maybe testing to see if he really was detransformed. The hairs on his forearms raised as she drew a line from his wrist to the edges of his rolled up sleeves. Over and across, to his shoulders, a breathless slide along his collarbone, then down the buttons of his shirt, then back up to his shoulders as she breathed into his neck, and her eyelashes tickled him as she opened her eyes.

She wouldn't be able to see his face, but she knew. He rested his head on hers, strengthening his hold on her.

"You're kind and compassionate," he said. "You're brave and creative and amazing. It was so easy to fall in love with you, Marinette."

Her hands slid from his shoulders and wrapped around his neck, holding him just as tightly as he held her. "I love you too, Adrien."

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

If you haven’t received a Guero ask yet, I would like him with with prompt #4: 'I'm cold, and you're warm, you should do something about that." Pretty please!

Even though I love his dad more, he’s still a really cute guy!

Masterlist

Eventful Outing

Contains: Fishing (killing fish for food given a two-word mention) fluff.

1.4 K words

“When it rains on the ocean it rains on fish too.” - Matshona Dhliwayo.

As you stood in the rain with the river flowing by you, you wondered why you had agreed to this, "I brought plenty of food, can't we go inside until the rain eases up?" 

Guero snorted, "No fucking way, I told you I was going to catch us a fish for dinner and I am." 

You looked to his father, who shook his head, "The young man had a plan y/n, I'm sure we won't be waiting long." 

When Guero got you to agree to go on a fishing trip up north with him and Ibarra, you didn't think that would mean being stuck in the rain while they struggled to catch dinner, "It's not Salmon season so the only fish you're going to get now is Bass. You need to put different bait on the line." 

Guero glared at you, but there was no fire behind it, "You could have told us that an hour ago." 

His father huffed, "I tried to son, but you wanted things your way, telling me you read a book and shit. But now a pretty woman tells you and you're rushing to do what she says." 

Guero walked towards the shore, making sure to flick water at you as he took different bait from the box, "You wanna tell me how you know all of this and I don't?" 

You blinked, "I wasn't the only one, it's not a my fault you don't listen to me or your father." 

Guero smirked, "I listen to you where it counts." 

Despite your best efforts, you couldn't ignore the snicker that his dad gave, "Please shut up before I drown you." 

He turned to his father and inhaled in fake offence, "Do you hear how she talks to me Pops?" 

Ibarra shook his head, "You deserve it son, you got a big mouth." 

Your eyes widen in agreement, "Doesn't he? Holy shit, sometimes he won't shut up." Guero gave you a look and you held up a hand, "I know what you're about to say and if the words come out of your mouth I'm going to drown you for sure." 

He chuckled, "I wasn't going to say anything." 

Ibarra's hearty chuckle followed, "Yes, you were, it was as obvious as something can be." 

You shook your head, "Ok if this keeps going, I will drown myself." Still, you knew that look on Guero's face, "You are incorrigible." 

He smiled, "You love me." 

You sighed, "Yes, I do. Now please catch us food. I'm freezing my ass off over here and I know for sure I packed enough food to last us, so I'm only standing here to preserve your ego." 

He hands his father a chunk of bait before baiting his hook and throwing the line, "How did you know about the bait anyway? You hate camping." 

"One, we're not camping, we're staying in a cabin and two, I like to be prepared, so I talked to the bait shop attendant." You pointed to the box, "There's even stuff in there for crayfish since I bought a pamphlet for how to build traps from sticks and leaves and I thought you might like to try it." 

Ibarra smiled, "How thoughtful. That would be great y/n, I love crayfish." 

Guero turned to you and mouthed, "Kissass." But his eye betrayed how much he appreciated the amount of investment you had put towards this vacation. 

There was a change in the light and you looked up, the clouds growing even more ominous, "We're about to get a storm so you two better hurry up." 

Guero chuckled, "So you can predict the weather now? Tell me oh wise one, what other powers do you...." The skies opened in a torrent of water, "I stand corrected." 

You sighed, "I'd say you've got about twenty minutes before the thunder starts." 

"We'll have a fish by then." Guero sounded so sure of himself that there was no point in dissenting and sure enough, when the first crack of thunder came across the sky, Guero's rod jerked, "I told you." 

After a few mighty heaves, it was out of the water and dispatched humanely and Ibarra reeled in his line and sighed, "Alright then, can we go inside before we're hit by lightning." 

"Please, I'm freezing to death." You were so cold you swore your fingers were going to fall off. 

 Guero chuckled, "Hell yeah." 

Everyone headed inside and wrapped themselves in towels, "I'm going to clean and prep that fish and have a shower, no touches it." 

"I caught it, don't you think I should be the one to cook it." He was as smug as ever. 

Your eyes went wide, "No fucking way. A light and sweet river fish this fresh only has two preparation, baked with crispy skin or poisson en papillote. The oven here isn't powerful enough to bake it properly so poisson en papillote is it." 

Guero looked at you with such affection that you felt your heart might burst, "I have no idea what poisson en papillote but there was enough passion in your voice to let me know I should give up." 

Ibarra smiled, "It's French for fish in paper. It's really nice." 

Guero snorted, "Since when did you two get so fancy?" 

You sighed, "Please finely slice some onions. If you've got time to be all judgy, then you have time to help." 

Guero smirked, "I can do that." 

****

"Thish is sho good, you have to coo thish all the time." 

You shook your head, "Guero, don't talk with your mouth full, it's rude." 

"It is very good, all that time in the rain was worth it." You could tell Ibarra was trying extra hard, he knew how much his son loved you, and he wanted to make the most of the time away. 

You nodded, "I don't think I've ever cooked with fish that fresh, maybe tomorrow we can try and get some crayfish."

Guero suppressed a smile, "Look at you two getting along, and here I thought y/n was rude to everyone. I guess it's just me." 

You huffed in mock offence, "I am not rude to you, I just don't worship the ground you walk on like the other women you've spent you time with." The glare you fixed him stopped him from quipping back, "Yeah, that's what I thought. You're big mouth is going to get you into trouble one day." 

Ibarra, "It's already got him into plenty. Do you know about the time he landed in the principle's office for talking shit to a cop that came by the school to give a career talk?" 

"No, but I'm hoping you're going to tell me now." You weren't going to lie, you were hoping Ibarra would provide you at least one embarrassing story before you made your way back to SP. 

Guero chuckled, "Oh, you're having so much fun aren't you." 

You nodded, "Fuck yeah." 

****

The night wound down, this fish picked clean and the bread pudding Ibarra gone in one sitting. You tended to the fire in your room and shivered as Guero came up behind you, "Let me do that Mi amor." 

You pressed your lips to his cheek as you headed to the bed, moaning as the warmth from the heated blanket surrounded your skin, "You turned it on?" 

He nodded, "Of course. I can't have you going to bed cold now, can I?" 

With the fire stoked, he climbed into bed and rested on his back next to you and just as he got comfortable, you stretched your cold foot across the bed and brushed him with it, "Jesus Christ." 

 You flipped onto your side, "I'm cold, and you're warm, you should do something about that." 

Guero sighed and freed himself of his shirt before reaching over and manhandling yours off, after that, he pulled you into his arms so your skin was pressed again his, "Better?" 

You nodded, "Yep." 

He ran a hand up and down your back and rubbed your nose with his, "This is the closest we've been all day." 

You pecked his cheek, "Yeah I know, but I don't really want to make out with you in front of your father." 

He smiled, "It's not like he hasn't seen some shit." 

You huffed, "Next time he can bring someone and then it won't be awkward." 

Guero's eyebrows furrowed, "On second thought." 

You shook your head, "I have spent the whole day missing touching you." 

"Yeah?" He sounded so smug, "Maybe there's something I can do for that?"

"Nope, we're going to bed." As much as you wanted to, you had no idea how thin the walls were. 

He buried his nose in your hair and inhaled, "Alright Mi amor, I love you." 

"Goodnight Guero, I love you too." 

Fin

@withmyteeth @daydreaming-belle

[goldenteaset]

Stampede!Legato's Charm Points

...A not-comprehensive list of blatant squee for the @tristampparty.

I enjoy every version of Legato (which feels like saying "water is wet"), but Stampede's version in particular feels dazzling, like looking into the sun for too long. And if you couldn't tell from that description and looking at other people's reactions, especially toward his looks, this is very much me "proselytizing" in his favor. (Or finding like-minded people!)

Under the cut because I couldn't contain myself. XD

Charm Point the First: How He's Framed (...Mostly)

(The big zipper on his coat is also cute by the way)

Studio ORANGE made a fascinating choice with Legato for Stampede s1: his face is either in shadow, or at various angles that highlight how striking he is, usually as seen from below. This forces us to either a) look deeper at what expressions we do see, or b) focus our gaze on everything else about him. So a win either way, really.

On the other hand, though: please let us see more of his face in S2 PLEASE

Charm Point the Second: His Hands

Self-explanatory, I know. But hands are an absolute pain to draw and I'm forever impressed with the sheer, insane detail the animators get across with Legato's. Look at this gif, you can actually see where he laughs when his wrist tilts! There's something so erotic and dangerous about how they're portrayed. Very very good.

Charm Point the Third: His Laugh

This Legato is a downright jolly fellow in some ways compared to the previous ones! His laughter is lovely, often low and soft and wicked. It makes every scene with him more fun for the viewer, because he's having fun.

Charm Point the Fourth: His Plantlike Complexion

One might even call it a "ceramic-like pallor". It has to be because of the Plant genetics Stampede's writer mentioned. It makes him even more Fair Folk-like and otherworldly, almost ethereal; it adds another creepy, "don't make that deal" layer to his scene with Wolfwood.

Charm Point the Fifth: His Legs

I could've picked a different shot, but no. This one illustrates the point rather well, I think. (In general, besides his stomach he's on his way to a male ballet dancer physique, which is a wonderful thing.)

Charm Point 5.9: Safety First!

Something about Legato doing nefarious deeds and still wearing a seatbelt is just...peak moe for some reason. 10/10.

Charm Point the Sixth and Seventh: His Nape/Hair

I love this shot so much uuuuuuu look at the lighting

Sometimes the sheer floppiness of his haircut in some screenshots undersells how neatly managed it actually is. Legato may not want people to talk about his hair, but he does take good care of it. It's sleek, it's out of his way (mostly), and I can't help but wonder if it's cut as short as it is in the back to avoid touching his skin... :(

Charm Point 7.5: His Waist

It's the part everybody critiques! Yes, he looks like a Ken doll with it being that narrow. Yes, I 100% think that's the point and Studio Orange will make us sad about it in S2. Moving on quickly so as not to dwell on it!

Charm Point the Eighth: His Voice

I'll be talking about his dialogue right after this, but really, that dialogue wouldn't land right without the perfect voices to match. Whether subbed or dubbed, Stampede!Legato manages to slide between cold elegance and zealous desperation with ease. (Also, again, That Laugh *happy shivers*)

Charm Point the Ninth: His Dialogue

While we sadly only see Legato in two episodes, I think they're still a great introduction to him. We're given just enough to understand why he conflicts with Vash and co., what his motives are (which he might explain too much, but anyway), and who he is as person. He's a human who fundamentally doesn't understand humans, least of all himself. I think he's drawn to Wolfwood and Livio's relationship specifically because he himself doesn't have a reference point for it. It fascinates him even as he hates it. And speaking of that...

Charm Point the Tenth: His Confusion About Love

I left this one for last because unlike the above, which are mostly fixed states, this one really could go in any direction. At the end of episode 6, Legato explains how he doesn't understand love and thinks it should "give way to devotion". This is interesting, to say the least, because past Legatos don't just lay things out that clearly, and neither do most characters in Stampede. There's practically a big neon sign blaring over this!

From my very biased standpoint, there's nothing more fun than when a character who looks like this *points at the above* disdains love that openly. That means that either a) Legato is being set up to never understand love ever, which is less interesting, or b) discover what love means to him. Will that end well? Poorly? Will Studio Orange give us enough string to make a cats cradle out of for our own entertainment? Who knows! It's all up in the air for now.

I just think that there's nothing more narratively thrilling than limitless possibilities and slowly winnowing them down, is all. :D

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

20 Fic Writer Quesions

First, thank you @singeart and @mytardisisparked for tagging me!. I did a set of these last year and it was fun to see how my answers have changed since then!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

61

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

1.6 million and counting!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Trek Voyager

Star Trek Prodigy

Sailor Moon

Harry Potter

Madam Secretary

Ive debated writing SwanQueen for a long time but by the time I had the energy and time to write, I'd lost interest in the show. I might rewatch and come back to it one day...

I have thought about writing Wynonna Earp or Tamora Pierce universe fanfiction but have yet to get an idea that grabs me. I like to find things i want to fix and it's hard when the source material is perfection.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Parent Trap (305)

Sailor Moon H Order of the Phoenix (289)

Sailor Moon H Half Blood Prince (222)

Eden's Deception (167)

Out of Reach (150)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! although if I'm busy or feeling down it can take me a while. Sometimes I forget.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I still think What Even is 3 Minutes takes the cake. Or I'll be Your First if You'll be my Last

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Heard the Comm on Christmas Morn and Parent Trap

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Unfortunately I've gotten hate on fics since I started writing them... and it's become just something I expect to happen. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it confuses me. Sometimes it makes me sad. It really depends...

The memorable haters:

There was the delightful Fanfiction.net reviewer who got pissed i was "making everybody gay" (that was funny actually). I forget if they were the same person who flamed me when Mcgonagall and Hooch kissed under some mistletoe. I digress. They thought queering up the canon was like sinful or whatever. I was delighted to disagree and make the story even queerer.

Another person cussed me out for magically restraining Sailor Plutos time travel powers so my plot would work and for making her have feelings about it. aparently mad the senshi were not all powerful deus exmachinas who never feel feelings... That one stung. That was the reason I left FFN.

Hate because in Sailor Moon H, Harry Potter was not the main character.

Hate that I made a magic bio baby for the magical lesbians. (I can't have a biobaby with my wife irl, can't I at least let the fantasy girlies have one!)

Hate for including C/7 in a story

...I wouldn't call it hate for the fic but I have had an uncomfortable amount of commenters who hate on Chakotay any time I have him involved with Seven / don't have him grovel to Kathryn / really any time I let him advocate for how he's been hurt... at first comments like this stressed me out because i worried i had not written the character sufficiently sympathetic. But then Parent Trap breached containment and I got enough comments to be able to see I had definitely written the character fine... it was just that some people were always just rooting for a "Chakotay falls over himself to apologize to Janeway for not immediately dating her" storyline that... I'm not sorry 😅 I'm never going to write that. The older I get the more I feel like both of J/C just need therapy! They've been through so much trauma. Their feelings are valid (yes, even for other people).

Parent Trap breaching containment also meant that when I hit an irl rut and couldnt get in the writing headspace for a bit, a bunch of - sincerely, well meaning - fans got into their heads to start a commenting campaign to get me to update. I heard about it and panicked (i had bad experiences that year of getting people who only commented "update soon" and those conversely stressed me out and made me not want to write - I love fic writing for the conversations and community... so it made me feel like readers thought i was just a content vending machine). so just the thought of potentially getting an avalanche of guests, well meaning or not, begging me to update made me lock commenting until the fic was done. I wound up deciding after that that since "update soon" requests were becoming a lot more frequent that I'd consider before posting whether getting them would hurt my ability to finish. So most of the time now if I know a fic is going to reach a bigger potential community, I don't start posting it until it's almost done. That has had some upsides! (Im less dependent on positive feedback for motivation now!) and some downsides (no one comments on my fics with their theories anymore) but on a whole, a good decision.

Immediately after finishing Parent Trap I wrote Fever and got this amazing guest comment from someone who said (paraphrasing cuz i'm too busy to go find it) "Youre better than this. how dare you write this filth. J/C are better than this" that one had me laughing for days. But the comment did prompt me to create a second account later when I wrote a tentacle fic. At the time I worried i'd get a ton of similar flame comments from people who were subscribed to my main for other types of fic... but I am even feeling like that's unnecessary now. I write what I write! Yes, some of it is really dirty, weird smut. I'm not sorry.

Currently any time I post a Threshold AU fic an anon drops into my comments section in order to call me "Sick" and "Deranged"... they make me so sad I don't even make a quippy reply. I just delete them. I write that universe for my own wish fulfillment... Someday (soon, hopefully) I'm gonna have kids. And I am going to have to have conversations with them about who their biological dad is. Why they look like one mom and not the other, whether their non bio family love them even if theyre not blood related. I might have a kid who feels different from everyone else because they're queer or they're neurodivergent or they're some new alienating feeling I am totally unprepared for. and I'll need to help them navigate that.. Writing about hybrid salamander kids getting raised in a blended family is FUN. But more importantly... it helps me practice those situations. It comforts me to know that if the characters can figure this out in the AU then I can figure this out in real life! What the hell is sick and deranged about that!?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write all sorts of smut. I post the stuff that doesn't totally mortify me once i've gotten out of whatever mood had me writing the smut in the first place.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have exactly two crossovers to my name: Sailor Delta and Sailor Moon H. I think on the basis of word count alone Sailor Moon H (>500,000) is definitely the craziest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I consider the unlicensed use of the AO3 archive for ChatGPT and similar LLMs theft. (and there are several court cases pending that are also seeking to address whether it is legally theft as it pertains to published fiction and newspapers). The canon creators of the fandoms I write for aren't allowed to make money by using uncredited ideas pulled from my fanfiction (just like I am not allowed to make money from writing fic with their copyrighted settings and characters) and i continue to be apalled that ChatGPT and other LLMs think they can get away with using others copyrighted ideas without permission. Especially that they can take advantage of people who cant profit off their own work.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

No but i would be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Once with @magdalenejaneway, once with @jellybeansarecool and once with @trekflower and all three were fantastic!

Most of what I write for Threshold AU is also increasingly collaborated on a great deal by the AU creators and a few other folks. It's been going for over 2 years now and doing that more and more has enabled us all to drop more references to previous fics and to create a more cohesive body of fic for the AU. in general its just been so fun and fulfilling to make these stories with other people who are as invested in the characters as me and it just fills me with joy. I'm really grateful for you guys.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

On the one hand J/C have inspired over 50 fics, But on the other I have also been loving Sailor Moon and those ships since before I knew what fandom or shipping were. And really the only reason J/C inspire more fic is that all the sailor moon characters got a happy ending.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I never want to give up on a WIP...

but I am in knots about what all to do with Out of Reach.

Out of Reach is a St:Prodigy S1 AU where Chakotay has amnesia and doesn't remember anything from his time on Voyager, all the while he and Kathryn are in a situationship with a baby.

There's two questions I never figured out how to answer: 1. Does he get his memories back. If so, how much and what enables it. and 2: Do he and Kathryn stay together?

On the memories front. saying he never recovers seems unfair to the character. But saying he magically does thanks to 24th century science feels cheap and disrespectful - to the reality of real memory loss and to the plot that built up so much tension around this. Saying he gets back some or more over time is more realistic, but left me uncertain of where exactly to end the story. Tying his retrieval of memories to Kathryn also tied me up in knots. On the one hand they're in love and thats romantic. on the other hand the optics of his recovery totally dependent on one person is icky.

I also found the baby really annoying to have there by the end - I still think he's cuteeee i really do!!! - it's just... he makes the "we should stay together and try to figure this out" answer a bit too convenient 😅. and he complicates Kathryns reluctance to restart their relationship. The more she resists, the more callous she seems (deliberately not trying to patch things up with her kid's father) when i really just want to focus on her fears that Chakotay would be happier without her and that even if they restart their romance, she might lose him again on a future mission. It's ironic because i originally created the baby to ensure she wouldnt just run away from her fears. And now hes contributing to my difficulty ending the fic...

Actually the more I think on it, my real problem is I could write my way out of this, but I cant do it in only one or two chapters and that makes me feel tired. i was sorta hoping to wrap that fic up. 😅🙈

16. What are your writing strengths?

Imagery has always been a strength for me. But i think I'm also getting really good at action scenes too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oneshots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only if it was information i wanted the reader to understand but not the POV character.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

W.I.T.C.H way back when I was 15.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Universe to Mend - I even have a few sequel or companion novel ideas to come after it.

This has gone on a while... 😅 - thank you for tagging me and letting me ramble! i'll tag anyone else who wants to answer! have at it.

[oonajaeadira]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @insomniamamma. For the record, I think you write beautiful smut. I appreciate it for its realness and connection.

How many works do you have on ao3? Aw man, you made me log into my AO3 account? I haven't been around there recently because I feel bad about leaving some messages unanswered. Tumbletown is my main fic home and I haven't really had the time to post here, much less on AO3. (Answer the question Adira.) It says I have 19. I don't post there until they're here and sometimes don't crosspost. Mainly I've been posting over there only if I have a complete series, although sorry LMR readers both there AND here.

2. What's your total ao3 word count? 260,317. Seeing as how not even half of my fic is up over there, I cringe to think of what my actual wordcount is.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Pedro Pascal. Which is an umbrella for the actual fandoms contained therein.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos According to AO3? Losing My Religion, A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop, A Rare Treat, The Sweets Series, Eyes Closed, Comm Open. According to Tumblr: Good. Things. Take. Time. (this one's a Tumble exclusive, dunno if I'll ever AO3 that one), Losing My Religion, Dulces Suenos, The Sweets Series, A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop.

5. Do you respond to comments? I do. Every one. I know I'm behind on some and I'm sorry about that. I let that bother me enough that it's getting in the way of my writing and I shouldn't do that.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't like to leave angst hanging and only use it as a trampoline for a happy ending, but I guess the closest thing I have would be A Kiss Before Dying and in Death We Combine. Even if it ends in "death," at least they get to be together.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them? LOL. Of the multi-chapters I've actually finished, probably A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only in passing. There were the mean girls that were kind of being catty over on a few other blogs about GTTT when it blew up much to my surprise (yes, of course I saw all of that, mean girls gonna mean). I remember some comment about not trivializing massage therapists just because I have a shitty back.... and all I could think was, hey. First of all, I can tell you didn't even read it, you're just mad about it blowing up. Not my fault. Next. Don't talk about my back. You wouldn't like being injured and having people talk smack about a piece of your body that gives you pain beyond comprehension, y'bigot. Also not my fault. Once I realized they were just mean girls meaning, I let it roll off and got my own satisfaction by writing a pretty bomb series based on some of their prompt lists that I never would have seen if I hadn't been clued into the smack. Turn that hate into something great!

9. Do you write smut? I do. Not exclusively and it's never the main dish of the story. If it does show up, it's usually the result of a long period of longing and/or feelings exchange.

10. Craziest crossover? I'm not a crossover gal. Every once in a while I'll write an easter egg into another fic (there are several in GTTT), but nothing heavy duty. There was the time The Mandalorian got something of a cameo in a Sweet's fic tho....

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Oh gods, I hope not. That would suck. I hate blocking people.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? YES! But not in the way you might think! @katareyoudrilling did an amazing job translating the first chapter of Good. Things. Take. Time. into a sexytime roleplay script!!!! I'M STILL SQUEEING ABOUT IT.

13. Have you co-written a fic before? In a way. For a while when RP accounts were in full swing, I was falling very much in love with the adventure I was creating with @morally-gray-prospector. That account was so amazing, run by one of the smartest writers I've ever known here, but they were TOO good and poured themselves generously into their responses, which got them quite a following...and they burned themselves out! While my story with Ezra didn't have an ending, I never expected it to. I meant it when I said it to the writer: I'm just so happy to have an adventure with Ezra and every minute working on it was a joy that I will love forever. I'm glad they had fun too and didn't keep pushing themselves when it was no longer sustainable. <3

All time favorite ship? It's Din and Little Bird. Now that I know how that story is going to soft-end, they're my favorite couple of all time.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will Oh, I'll finish them all. Right now, Branded is in the most danger of lingering, since I have to figure some stuff out with them. But if I could solve the puzzle of Losing My Religion, then I have no doubt that I'm eventually going to get on with that one too.

What are your writing strengths? I don't know what my strengths are, but I like the magic of showing without showing. I like pacing. I enjoy trying to get the characters' voices right and make the dialog real.

What are your writing weaknesses? I am slow. And I make a show of "not following the rules" as if I'm some kind of rebel, but really, I'm just bad at following rules!!!!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language I try to avoid it for the most part because I usually mess it up pretty badly. I generally don't write Din in Mando'a because I haven't really heard him speak it in the series and he seems to always default to Basic even if he understands it spoken to him, so I can't shake the feeling that it's out of character. But Little Bird is a Mandalorophile, so she'd definitely know it and use it. I do sometimes pull in Spanish for Sweets, but it's usually because it's two characters who actually would speak it when Sunday's not around, and even then I try to make sure it's basic enough for folks to follow. The one time I tried to put Italian in I messed it up pretty good, but a beautiful reader helped correct it for me and I'm so so so grateful. <3

First fandom you wrote for I know I have a Doctor Who piece in a notebook somewhere hidden away. And I most likely have a slew of Ranma pieces from my college days. Were there any before that? Possibly.

Favorite fic you've written I have too many. I write really slow, so if it's actually made it to Tumbles, that means I loved it enough to manifest it. Some of them I love because of the fandom, some because of the relationship, some because of the world building, some because of the interaction, and most because of the good time I had writing it. Right now I'm seeing people reading Losing My Religion, and I've had reason to dip into some of those chapters and re-read a little and it's reminded me how much I love writing for the Star Wars universe, how much confidence I have in it. That was the first fic I really wrote, and I put so much of myself into it... so if I choose a favorite, I'll point there first even if it's not really finished yet.

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tagging: @blueeyesatnight @ezrasbirdie @missredherring @leslie-lyman @prolix-yuy

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Writer Questionnaire

Double tagged by @the-letterbox-archives! It's all under the cut cos this is looong.

Part 1

q1) is writing a hobby or way of life?

Creativity and imagination is a way of life. Writing's just my chosen method of expressing it.

q2) a journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

Completed manuscript haha. I'm not Tolkien, nobody's gonna wanna read my version of the Silmarillon.

q3) who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

Err- Real life, I guess? My dreams, too. I take what I see and make it into a story.

q4) which is worse: someone you “idolise” reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

My first drafts tend to be really neat, so singing. My singing's atrocious.

q5) has writing from someone else’s pov ever changed your own perspective?

Not for writing, but debating? Yeah, sometimes getting put on opp for a case where I'd rather be gov makes me see a whole new world.

q6) tumblr, ao3, livejournal, or ffn?

Tumblr. I like the community here :)

q7) ao3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

Err- My AO3 contains things I would rather not share with this mostly family-friendly blog, but my wordcount's about 30k there. In total, though? 250k words or so.

q8) what movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

Lolita, definitely. I read it as a 13 year old, then as a 15 year old, and as a 17 year old, and it still breaks my heart every time.

q9) what’s the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?

The highest compliment would be for someone to say I made them cry/rage/laugh from my writing, and I'm pleased to say I once managed to send a friend into a fit of fury from my writing (it was Heroes that did it, mind you. She really hated Mara.)

q10) what defines your writing style?

I experiment a lot with styles, but I'd say I have 2 main ones. The more high-fantasy descriptive style, and something lighter and more fast-paced.

Part 2:

how long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? a fast and loose estimate is fine!

7months or so!

what led you to create it?

I wrote something I was insanely proud of, and felt the need to show it to the world.

what’s your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

The mutual interaction! So fun to watch my brain rot over someone else's OCs, and vice versa.

what’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I'm a nice person, I swear. If I've ever accidentally upset any of you, just tell me! I'll try my best to rectify whatever I did.

is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

Not more, but I'd like to see less politics. My life's stressful enough without that stuff

which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

I'm still dying from The Fae Prince, because holy crap that came out of nowhere and took my brain by storm.

how long have you been working on them?

I never work on projects for long, sadly. I just don't have the attention span for them! My oldest active project right now is Mind of a Mercenary, and it's 7 months old (I started it on New Year's Eve last year)

do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Yeah. Luna's been a fav of mine since I was a 14 year old, and I always wanted to tell her story. I felt I hadn't done it justice the previous two times I wrote it, so I tried again!

how much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

I only actually think about writing when I'm actively writing, haha. So about 2 hours a day?

when someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Horror and fantasy! It's pretty easy cos I'm a stickler for those genres.

name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

Hmm... In order of species, Ina Angelborn, Kimael Angelborn, Isobel Angelborn, Hash Brown, Hans-el Ko-clan, Miphala Sa-clan, Cefalin Sa-clan, Katherine Tan (yes Kat's Chinese, get with the program), Michael Woods, Iraela Foundling, Ramaeria Foundling, Maizen Carver, Sonder Woods (no relation), Mara Ng, David I-forgot-his-last-name.

who’s the most unhinged?

Iraela would like to be first place, and Mara would like to think she's last, but I'm afraid first and last gotta go to Ina and David respectively.

who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Naturally, Hans-el, as long as I don't take too close a look at what I'm typing. Otherwise, Luna. Her inner monologue sounds an awful lot like mine.

do you ever cringe at them?

All the time.

how much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? to what degree? are some less cooperative than others?

That depends. The more I write about a character, the more they refuse to follow instructions. That's what makes Ina so damn hard to write. Woman's lived in my head for a good 15 or so years, now.

what makes you want to follow another writeblr account? do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I follow them as I see 'em!

what makes you decide against following?

Too much politics. I cannot express how much I hate to see politics on my dash. I have real life for that stuff. Also too much religion/ideology. The only things I tolerate on my dash are fandom, cats, and writblr stuff.

do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Occasionally? I mean, I do try to reach out to whoever I see in the community, even if I haven't followed them yet.

do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

My noodle is currently occupied by JavaScript, so no. But soon, I will have time to go binge everyone's writing again, and I will find my next obsession amongst my moots' writing!

Tagging @cowboybrunch, @theink-stainedfolk, @urnumber1star, @mundanemoongirl, and @gioiaalbanoart (open tag too!) Feel free to choose between part 1 or part 2, or even do the whole thing!

[ramu-ego]

ɪᴛ'ꜱ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍᴀɴᴇɴᴛ :: :: probably not the update y'all were looking for, but also um, hi! It's been a minute. First off to all of you who've asked where I was and worried, you guys are too sweet and little cherubs I'm smooching on the foreheads right now! Secondly, I just don't have time to write or thirst or literally anything. It pains me as writing has always been a huge hobby/outlet/just generally everything to me forever. Shitty thing about getting older is sometimes your hobbies/interests have to take a back seat and suffer while life moves on.

:: as some of you know I'm a mom among other things and basically since Christmas it's been a struggle (loosing naps during the day really fucked things up; crashed right into terrible twos ffs) and I can't get writing into my schedule as it is now. Maybe when the kids in school in a few years I can bring it back. Maybe when my wife's off for summers I'll have more free time. A lot of maybes and that's about it. But hey that's life! I won't be deleting this page as I hope to come back to it maybe in another millennia (RIP) And writing will always be a passion and outlet for me as well as I want the stories to stay up so you all can still enjoy them.

:: thank you to everyone who was super into this page, dom!Readers are so few and far between so I hate having to step back because I love writing and I love putting dom!Readers on the map when they're swept under the carpet for 99% of the fandom. Yes of course I'm still madly in love with Ego and I will stan that man until the day I die and be licking his shaved neck regularly (nor will this mortal form contain me when the U-20 game is animated and he's in his suit, frothing already) That being said I did very much make friends on here and if any of you are still around I'd be happy to privately share my personal Tumblr with you if you want. If your looking for more secret writings I'll be the first to disappoint you as it's just my personal dumpster fire of all weird scrunkly men I love. I'll only be sharing it with people I know I interacted with often so pls send me an ask off anon or just a dm and I'll try to remember to revisit this blog once or twice in case any mutuals just still wanted to be friends. If not then, pls enjoy the dom material still on here, peg all the peggable soccer men and remember Ego's been hot from day one and I'll be gargling his tongue in my mouth daily ✌