#but there's never a situation for them to take a step towards anything but friends/comrades

[arisenreborn]

I got Brant from @soloavengers for the character thoughts prompt, thank youuu! <3<3<3

1. What my Arisen thinks of them -

Reverie is admittedly a little intimidated by him, especially when she first meets him. Being called 'Your Majesty' and all of that is... oof, it's a lot. She'd think it was a joke if he wasn't so serious (and did definitely give an awkward laugh the first time he said it, only to stop equally awkwardly when he just stared back at her). But she's ultimately inspired by his dedication and desire to serve the people of Vermund, and it's really nice having someone so reliable she can... yanno, rely on. He's one of the first catalysts that gets her moving in the 'right direction', and in some ways is a bit formative for someone with no memories to call her own. Though she's naturally inclined to help, she takes in a bit of his dutifulness of his. Gradually, she hopes to live up to at least some of his expectations. She does lowkey worry that he doesn't have enough time to relax and unwind. Like, sure he's at the tavern a lot, but is he actually using that time to chill at all when he's still in his armor?

2. What my Pawn thinks of them -

Rann is slightly more guarded about the captain, but that's mostly out of his watchfulness over Reverie. At the start of things he doesn't have the entire picture, but a clearer one that she does, so he takes it upon himself to consider things like: anyone with close ties to the palace could possibly betray her like they did before. Those thoughts are pretty swiftly dismissed though, and he is mostly relieved Reverie does have a true and staunch ally she can rely upon beyond the pawns. He takes a certain measure of pride in such an honorable man supporting her. On the nights where they meet with him, he sometimes get an uncomfortable twinge in his chest watching them huddled close over the table, voices low and unheard across the din of the tavern. Something about the way the captain calls her 'Your Majesty' tugs at him, but he can't place why...

3. What they think of my Arisen -

At the initial announcement of the Arisen's arrival, there's a sense of relief and pride. It's not until later when he meets her post-memory curse that a tinge of concern mixes in there. Without all of those burn scars, he did some research into her history, and finding connections to a guild of thieves was more than a little worrying. But her kindhearted nature and insistence on helping others shone through any of those concerns. To the point he has a whole new set of worries about their Sovran perishing before she's even been crowned. Of course, there's not much that can be done for it given the circumstances, so he can only trust in her abilities. He believes she's a little naive and her memory loss is a great potential danger, but endeavors to cover for these possible risks. His loyalty to the laws of Vermund and the seat of the Sovran were one thing, but by the end his loyalty to Reverie as a person, who has overcome many odds and risked herself for others time and time again, is even greater.

4. What they think of my Pawn -

Initially he regards Rann the same as any other Pawn: with the respect due to those of such unwavering loyalty to the Arisen, but it doesn't go much deeper than that. Getting glimpses of just how much Rann supports Reverie, however, he does feel of a sense of deeply owed gratitude. The Arisen should be leading armies to face the Dragon, not skulking around untangling Disa's plots after all, having to scrounge for coin and food. In some ways he's almost envious of the pawn, being so close and serving her so openly. I think while he's very perceptive he's honestly a bit clueless about just how deep that bond between them goes later on.

Bonus: An extra headcanon I have about them -

It might not be especially ground-breaking but I do think once the armor is set aside, Brant is a big teddy bear and would make an excellent cuddler. He also has frighteningly high alcohol tolerance.

[ackrmvvn-levi]

Take me home || E.S.

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: I don’t think there are any??

Look, let’s just all pretend he’s still alive, because god damn it I miss him 😭😭

It’d been 4 years since Erwin had seen you last. He’d barely managed to survive the battle of Shinganshina, but it felt like a part of him had died when you never returned. They never even found your body among the wreckage, they’d searched for days, coming up empty handed each time.

There was nothing left for him to do but assume the worst had happened.

He’d dealt with loss before, being in the scouts, that much was a given. But grief had never taken such a hold on him, leaving him feeling hollow and broken down, unable to think about anything other than you. Every day was hard, every minute felt like an endless abyss waiting to swallow him whole. His dreams were nightmares more often than not, waking from them in fits of shivering cold sweat. It was only by sheer luck he didn’t lose his mind entirely.

He couldn’t have known that across the large body of water, you were alive.

They’d held you captive, only allowing you a semblance of freedom when you agreed to listen to their side of the violence.

But you’d done what you could to make your situation less dire, the Marleyans were surprised when you didn’t try to flee after that.

You learned the secrets of the titans, you’d learned why the Marleyans thought of your people as devils. You’d done everything you could to convince them you believed in their cause, just to stay alive.

You hoped to be able to return home, begging to whatever higher power there was that Erwin was still alive, waiting for you to return to him.

——————

Your eyes grazed over the various fruits the merchant was selling, picking out different ones before moving to start your way to your so-called home.

The familiar voice almost slipped your attention at first, but as the yelling became more prominent, you froze.

You slowly looked towards where the voice had come from, eyes wide in disbelief at the scene in front of you.

Sasha, Connie, and Jean were each holding an ice cream cone, yelling praises for the sweet treat at each other.

You would’ve laughed at how ridiculous the whole situation seemed had your heart not began pounding within your chest. Your breath had caught somewhere in your throat, and you stared dumbfounded at your three old friends who hadn’t noticed you.

You began urgently looking throughout the crowd, desperately looking for anymore familiar faces. Anybody you could call a friend. Anyone who knew you.

You noticed Levi and Hange next, their gazes locked on the three overgrown children, still yelling at each other. Hange had a smile on her lips, chatting to a bored-looking Levi quietly.

You wanted nothing more than to run over to them, to you comrades, but they weren’t supposed to be here. Drawing unnecessary attention to the outsiders would only cause all of you trouble.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the pair, only when a third figure stepped up next to Hange did your focus change.

Your heart felt like it nearly stopped, a pair of blue eyes already locked on your figure when you looked at the man.

Erwin stood with his hands casually tucked into his pockets as his eyes bored into your own. The two of you didn’t move for what fell like forever, staring at one another in silence.

You wondered if he realized it was you he was looking at.

You snapped out of your daze when he took a step in your direction, quickly freezing when you shook your head frantically. He paused, eyebrows furrowing slightly as confusion swirled around in his eyes.

You quickly looked around, noticing no guards, no warriors, no one who would be able to recognize the group of scouts, but you couldn’t be too careful.

Your eyes met the familiar pair again, slightly jerking your head to the alley you knew was a few feet behind you, praying he got the message to follow you into the corridor.

The second you saw Erwin nod to you, you turned and began quickly making your way there, brushing through groups of people unapologetically. You could practically feel your hair standing on end, goosebumps rising across your flesh as you hurried along the dark corridor, only turning around at the sound of footsteps behind you.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the words died in your throat. He was still as handsome as you remembered, the same blue eyes still shone with intelligence and kindness. He was out of his scout uniform, a suit hugging his body, a welcome change from his usual wardrobe.

His steps were slow, as though wary of startling you. When he stopped in front of you, his hand reached up, landing on your cheek gently. You nearly sobbed on the spot, not realizing how much you still craved his touch until that moment.

“Tell me you being here doesn’t mean what I think it does.” His voice was quiet, pleading. You could tell he wasn’t sure what to think or feel, and you understood that this would be difficult for him to accept.

“No, no, of course not. They took me, Erwin. I did what I had to do to survive,” You assured, taking a step closer towards him, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

He leaned into your embrace, squeezing his eyes closed as he breathed deeply and steadily against your shoulder. “God, I thought I lost you for good,” he spoke, holding you against him like you’d disappear if he loosened his grip any.

“Never,” you replied fiercely, pulling back to look him straight in the eye. You smiled sadly when you saw tears gathering on his face. You cupped his cheeks delicately, wiping them away. He pressed his lips against yours softly, letting out a deep sigh as you kissed him back.

He was the first to pull away, your hands still gripping his face as his landed on your hips. His eyes bored into yours, blue irises filled with adoration.

“You’re still so beautiful,” he whispered, warm breath fanning over your red-tinted cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much, darling. Everyday of the last 4 years.”

You felt tears stinging in your eyes, but they were happy tears this time, relief washing through you to see him finally in front of you. The weight of four years was beginning to fade away. You could breathe normally now, knowing he’d made it out alive.

“You can come back with us, right? We’ll sneak you onto the ship,” he suggested, pressing his forehead against yours. “I don’t know if I can go back to living without you knowing that you’re alive.”

Your smile grew at his words, pulling his lips back down into a kiss, pouring all your love for the tall blonde into it. He wrapped his free arm around your waist, cradling you close as you melted into the warmth radiating off his body.

“Yes, please. Get me out of here,” you spoke after pulling away, leaning your foreheads back together lightly. “Take me home.”

“You have to do something for me though,” he replied, a small chuckle leaving his lips at the confusion that flashed across your features.

“Of course, what is it?”

“Marry me. The second we get home.”

A small gasp left your lips, your heart swelling with joy and happiness at those words.

“You want to marry me?” You asked incredulously, unable to help the broad grin spreading across your features as you threw yourself into his arms once again, giggling into his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, peppering gentle kisses across your forehead.

“I’ve been waiting 4 years to ask you that. Of course I want to,” he answered happily, tightening his grip on you, burying his face into your hair and breathing deeply.

You nodded your head quickly, feeling completely overwhelmed by the emotions running rampant in your chest.

“Yes, Erwin. Please, take me home and make me your wife,” you spoke, feeling tears threatening to fall from your eyes. He chuckled lowly, bringing a finger under your chin to tilt your head up towards him as he connected our lips for yet another kiss.

He was kissing you with everything that he held inside, everything that you had missed over the past years. He wanted to show you how much he loved you, how much he was always going to love you.

You felt safe, secure, loved, and cherished. And in that moment, the world could crumble around you and you wouldn’t care, not while Erwin had you wrapped in his arms and was the reason for every emotion coursing through your veins.

[bots-and-cons]

What if Starscream returned to earth and captured autobot! Knockout's human s/o? (post-predacons rising)

So the first part to this would be this post here I guess. I couldn’t really come up with a good reason for Screamer to want to blackmail Knockout like this, so I just made him sort of like Knockout’s super toxic (ex)friend. Also these will be tagged autobot!knockout au, in the future

You found yourself facing yet another giant robot. Not the familiar red medic you had gotten so used to, but another, gray and taller one. From what Knockout had told you about his past, you assumed this was Starscream.

“I’ve been looking for you” the gray mech said.

“I think you’ve got the wrong person” you said, taking a step back.

“From your lack of a frightened reaction, I’d say you’re exactly who I’m looking for. Now tell me where I can find that wayward medic, and I’ll spare you” 

“Why would I tell you? Especially because you seem like you have bad intentions with him” you said defiantly.

Knockout was supposed to come pick you up after your hike, so you could go and hang out together, and now you were really hoping he would be late.

“I don’t think you’re fully comprehending the situation you’re in, human. Either you tell me where I can find that insufferable idiot, or I squeeze the life out of you” Starscream said, and wrapped his hand around you, lifting you to be at eye level with him.

“Let go of me!” you shouted.

“Call him, and I will” Starscream demanded, squeezing you a little tighter.

You squirmed in his grip, but stopped when you heard the sound of a car coming to a stop behind Starscream. It was followed by the familiar sounds of Knockout transforming into his robot form.

“What do you want Starscream?” Knockout asked in an annoyed tone, trying to mask his fear.

He knew this could happen. He knew one of his former comrades could come after him. He had just been hoping that when they did, you wouldn’t be involved, but here you were, getting hurt because of him.

“What do I want? I want you to come back to Cybertron. You belong there, and not on this wretched planet with these pathetic humans” Starscream said as he turned around to face the mech he had once considered a friend.

“Starscream, please let them go so we can talk about this” Knockout pleaded.

“I don’t think I will. I can’t risk you running away with your little pet” Starscream said, squeezing you a little tighter, just enough so you made an expression of pain.

“If you don’t, we have nothing to talk about, and if you hurt them, I swear you’ll never see me again” Knockout said defiantly, knowing it was a bit of a risky play, but hoping it would work.

“Fine, have it your way” Starscream sighed, rolling his optics.

He set you down on the ground and you hurried to Knockout.

“Are you hurt?” he asked straight away, kneeling down to check on you.

“I’m fine, probably a little bruised, but nothing’s broken” you said, giving Starscream a side glare.

“So talk, Starscream, but just know that I’m not going back to Cybertron with you” Knockout said, as you took shelter behind him.

“This human you seem to fancy. Their species isn’t very long lived is it, compared to us I mean” Starscream said, starting to walk back and forth.

“And?” Knockout asked, crossing his arms in front of himself.

“So you might not return with me today, but all I have to do is wait a few decades and you will have let go of this foolish affection you hold for them” Starscream laughed mockingly, motioning towards you.

Starscream didn’t have anything more to say to Knockout. He knew he’d planted the seeds of doubt in his former friend and that was enough for now. So he left, leaving Knockout and you just standing there in a cloud of dust.

“Well that was a not so pleasant surprise” you said.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, it’s my fault this happened in the first place” Knockout said apologetically.

“Other people's actions are not your responsibility Knocky, and you got me out of it without me getting hurt badly” you said.

“We should probably go, in case he decides to circle back” Knockout said and transformed into his alt mode.

You hopped onto the front seat, and he started driving away.

Knockout was glad the situation hadn’t escalated, but he couldn’t help but think about what Starscream had said. That was a problem for the future however.

You were looking out the car window, but what Starscream had said was weighing on you. You weren’t really worried about yourself, you were worried about Knockout. The two of you had never really talked about how different your lives were, how he would outlive you by probably hundreds of human lifetimes. You weren’t the one who would be left alone, you would get to love him for your whole life, if fate allowed. You just hoped that after you were gone from his life, no matter how it happened, he would love someone again, and more importantly love himself.

[cosmicjoke]

Levi and Giving Meaning to the Sacrifices of his Fallen Comrades

As anyone who’s paid even casual attention to Levi’s character knows, his high regard for the value of people’s lives drives him to want to give meaning to their deaths. The thought that his friends and comrades will have died in vain, that the sacrifices they made will have accomplished nothing, is abhorrent to him, and something he can’t and won’t tolerate. Again, this circles back to the value he places on people’s lives, and him being unable to justify anyone losing their life for anything less than a worthy goal.  It’s why claims that Levi never cared about humanity, or only wanted revenge on Zeke, fall so flat, because they fundamentally misunderstand the driving force behind Levi’s character to begin with.

Again, Levi could only ever justify his friends and comrades losing their lives to a worthy cause, and that worthy cause, for him, and for all the Scouts, was a better future for humanity.  Levi himself says it in chapter 136, when he asks the question of his fallen comrades if this is what they gave their hearts for, to see the lives and dreams of other’s trampled on.  And he answers his own question with “No”, that the world they dreamed of, without titans, could only have been an absurdly innocent and idealistic world, otherwise, their dedicated hearts (meaning their lives) would not have been worth it.

Levi is shown more than once through the story ordering the soldiers under his command “don’t die”.  More than anything, I think, Levi wishes he could keep everyone safe, keep them alive.  I think there’s always that awful struggle within Levi, a fight between his desire to keep everyone alive, to protect as many people as he can, again because of how much he values life, and the necessity to let them sacrifice themselves and die in order to take a step closer to that better, idealized world they all dream of.   I think it took a major emotional toll on Levi, for example, making the choice he did for Erwin and the other scouts that day, to let them sacrifice themselves in order for him to kill the Beast Titan, because every instinct in Levi was telling him to protect them, to keep them alive.  Before that scene, we see Levi desperately scrambling to get the soldiers to safety, trying to move them toward the wall so they can take shelter behind it, only to be told by Erwin that the Colossal titan is wreaking havoc on the other side, and there is no shelter to be found.  Before that still, Levi works himself into complete exhaustion, taking out as many five-meter titans as he can in an attempt to save as many of the inexperienced new recruits as possible.  Levi’s statement that he “hates weaklings” often gets taken out of context and is used as some sort of “proof” that he doesn’t care.  But it’s the exact opposite.  It’s because Levi cares too much about these soldiers lives, and he’s expressing his frustration and pain at these inexperienced soldiers being thrown into a situation which is far too much for them to handle, knowing he won’t be able to save them all, even as every fiber of his being is screaming at him to do so.  There’s a reason Levi can barely catch his breath once most of the smaller titans have been taken care of.  Because he’s the one who took out the majority of them, all in an attempt to spare as many of his comrades as possible.  Think then how difficult it must have been for him, to make the decision he did, to allow them to ride with Erwin to their deaths, all to give him a chance to take out the Beast Titan.

This is why it’s so important to Levi, afterward, to fulfill his promise to them and kill Zeke. Because all of these soldiers, whom he’d been trying so hard to protect, and who he instead ended up sending to their deaths, agreed to die specifically so he could kill Zeke.  Levi couldn’t bear the idea that he’d failed them, that he’d let them die for nothing.  Killing Zeke was symbolic for him.  An encapsulation of the meaning behind their deaths.  If he could just kill Zeke, then it would mean that he hadn’t allowed them to die for no reason.  That their deaths accomplished something more, allowing all of them to take a step closer to realizing the dream of a better world.  That’s what killing Zeke, or the Beast Titan, had meant to them, what they believed it would mean; that it would be a victory for humanity, one that they were willing to die for, to give humanity hope and a future.  And Levi couldn’t, and wouldn’t, fail them in that regard.  He wouldn’t let what they’d sacrificed be reduced to meaninglessness.  

And Levi continues to fight for humanity, even after he’s lost everything, because once again he’s driven by the need to ensure that what his fallen comrades sacrificed wasn’t sacrificed in vain.  He needs their lives, and their deaths, to have meaning, to have mattered.  And he uses their sacrifices as the fuel he needs to continue fighting on, in their name, for their sake, and for the sake of that better tomorrow they all died for.  

Erwin convinces Levi to join the Survey Corps after Furlan and Isabel have died by telling him not to let their sacrifices be in vain, to use them as motivation to keep fighting on for other people, for the dreams and hopes of humanity.  Levi remembers the looks on their faces when they left the walls for the first time, the awe and wonder as they gazed up at the sky, and realizes they died while dreaming of a better life.  And he understands Erwin’s words then, that while Isabel and Furlan may not get the chance to experience that dream of a better life and world, their deaths can still be used as fuel for Levi to fight for and give that better life and world to others.  Their deaths don’t have to mean nothing.  Erwin shows Levi that path toward using his strength to help as many people as he can, and how to escape the bitter, ugly pointlessness of the sort of death he’s been surrounded by his whole life.  Growing up in the Underground, Levi was constantly surrounded by death brought about by things like violence, poverty, starvation, neglect.  All deaths which achieved nothing but more misery and sadness. Here Erwin was offering Levi a chance, not to escape death, but to take it and use it to create something better, something more hopeful, something meaningful.

Later, Erwin’s expresses his own doubts and guilt surrounding the sacrifices he’s made, leading others to their deaths, not for the altruistic goal of a better future for humanity, but for his own, selfish dream of finding the truth of the world.  And now it’s Levi’s turn to remind Erwin of his chance to ensure the lives of those lost before him weren’t lost in vain.  He can honor their deaths and give their deaths meaning by abandoning his selfish dream and committing to his duty of fighting for humanity in their name, and in the name of future generations.    By using their sacrifices to give him the courage he needs to abandon his own dream and fight on for humanity.

Levi promises Erwin that he will do the same, using his death, and the deaths of all the other scouts that day in Shinganshina, to fuel the strength he needs to keep fighting for humanity

In Levi’s mind, the only thing worth those lives, and the lives of all his fallen comrades, is a better world, a world in which humanity is free to live their lives how they choose, to continue to dream and hope.

[sassyhobbits]

Would That I, 4

masterlist

~~~

Rowan Whitethorn was furious.

Beyond furious.

He had left Mistward a week and a half ago, spending his time in the mountains, in that barren spot that had once been the cottage he had lived in with Lyria. He sat by her grave for hours on end, whispering to her, wishing that she could whisper back. She had always known what to say.

Lyria had been his mate. He had loved her. She had been sweet and kind and thoughtful.

Nothing like the half-feral assassin he had pulled out of Varese. 

But, according to the gods, she was his too. 

He had hoped the week of solitude would have given him an idea of what to do. Nothing became clear to him, no matter how long he beseeched the gods for some sort of sign. All he knew was that one morning he had woken up and realized he was running from his problems. And that made him a coward.

So, he had made the trip back to Mistward. He planned to send Fenrys on his way, to do what was ordered of him and oversee the girl’s training, no matter what.

Yet, when Rowan had arrived that morning looking for his comrade, he had only been told that Fenrys and Aelin had taken two mares the previous morning and had yet to return. Part of him hoped that Fenrys had thought of a training exercise that included travel.

But, Rowan knew Fenrys better than that. They had probably gone to drown themselves in alcohol in whatever town the young warrior felt like visiting that day.

Rowan had known the risk when asking the White Wolf to watch over Aelin while he was gone. He was never strict enough for Rowan’s tastes. Yet… Fenrys had been the only one he could trust not to tell Maeve about the fact that he had left the fortress so suddenly, not to ask questions. He knew that Fenrys would covet the opportunity to spend time with the Heir of Fire and wouldn’t jeopardize it by telling their queen.

Rowan waited for the pair to return. By late afternoon, he had half a mind to go out and track them down and drag them both back by the ear. He had headed down towards the kitchens, the quickest way to get outside, to do just that. However, he hadn’t needed to worry himself. He heard a familiar barking laughter before two figures strolled through the kitchen doors, side by side.

Aelin had looked up and locked eyes with him. So quickly, the bright smile she wore vanished, standing straighter, body tense.

He looked at her, wondering if simply seeing her again would lead to some sort of epiphany. But there was nothing besides a vague tug that he tried to ignore, telling him she was his mate. 

He clocked their posture, the casual arms they had wrapped around one another. Rowan’s nostrils flared as he scented them. At first, he was assaulted by the smell of horse, a bit of sweat. But beneath that… sex. Unmistakably sex.

Aelin seemed to understand what he had realized, not taking her eyes off of him and she took a casual step in front of Fenrys. She was trying to protect him.

Some primal, Fae part of him, deep down, was enraged. But, Rowan had no intentions of ever climbing into bed with the Firebringer. The girl must have been acting on what little knowledge she had of the Fae, thinking that he would rip into Fenrys for what he had done. 

He was more upset that Fenrys hadn’t done what was ordered of him.

Rowan stared evenly at Aelin before jerking his head towards the door. “Leave us.”

She blinked, those Ashryver eyes flaring in indignation. “I do not answer to you.”

Rowan bared his teeth. “That wasn’t a request.”

The girl opened her mouth, looking like she was ready to argue, but before she could even get started, a female voice sounded from behind him.

“Elentiya.”

Rowan glanced over his shoulder, finding a female he was vaguely familiar with, Arya, lingering in the threshold. Her dark, angular eyes skipped between the three of them. She was smart enough to recognize that the situation needed defusing. 

Arya looked towards Aelin, face softening. “I’m glad you’re here. We could use a hand with the laundry. Eryn hurt her ankle training today.”

Aelin still looked like she wanted to argue, but instead, took a deep breath, calming herself down. She gave a single nod of her head. Whatever had happened since he had left, Arya had managed to earn Aelin’s respect. That much was clear.

He held Aelin’s glare as she stalked past him towards where Arya waited. She lingered only a heartbeat longer before she disappeared with the Fae female around the corner, leaving him alone with Fenrys. There was only a heartbeat of silence before-

“Well, you look like you’re in a delightful mood today,” Fenrys chirped. 

A low, warning growl rumbled in the back of Rowan’s throat, showing that he was not in the mood for any of Fenrys’ snark. His companion’s mouth firmly snapped shut at the sound.

For a few moments, Rowan didn’t say anything, simply pinning the male across from him with his gaze. 

“I asked you to train her,” Rowan ground out at length. “Not fuck her.”

Fenrys was silent. A rare occurrence. 

“Tell me of what progress you’ve made with her then,” Rowan ordered, crossing his arms over his chest. “Has she mastered shifting at least?”

Still, nothing from Fenrys

Hot anger flashed through him again. “So. You’ve accomplished nothing, then? Except for drinking and gambling?”

“And dancing,” Fenrys mumbled. “She’s an excellent dancer.”

Rowan scoffed bitterly. “I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I didn’t expect much more out of that spoiled, useless brat.”

“Don’t speak about her that way,” Fenrys snarled, showing more backbone than he normally dared with Rowan. 

“You coddle her. She needs to learn, to take responsibility. She needs to be pushed.”

“Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she needs kindness and friendship and comfort. Maybe all she needs is someone to be there for her.”

“You’re naive, boyo,” Rowan said. “She has lived a life shunning her responsibilities, shunning her birthright and her kingdom. Turning her back on her suffering people. She’s a coward and has been pampered by whatever master she has served for the past ten years.”

Fenrys bared his teeth, something in Rowan’s words setting him off. “You know nothing about her and what she has endured. Nothing.”

Rowan studied his companion for a moment, noting the anger and outrage on his face. Perhaps there was something Rowan truly didn’t know, or perhaps that assassin has spun fanciful tales to earn her sympathy instead of the scorn she deserved.

“Perhaps I don’t,” Rowan eventually said. “But I don’t care. I’ll finish her training from here. First thing tomorrow morning, you will return to your post.”

Fenrys looked as though he wanted to protest, but knew deep down there was no point. Rowan was his commander, and he had to do what he was told. The younger male eventually gave a stiff nod. 

Fenrys didn’t wait to be dismissed before he made to leave, his shoulder bumping against Rowan’s as he stalked out of the kitchen. His proximity gave the prince another whiff of Aelin’s scent on him: jasmine and ashes. It enthralled him. It enraged him. 

There was a dull throbbing between his eyes, the beginning of a headache. Rowan heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. He surely had his work cut out for him.

…

Fenrys found Celaena later that evening. Arya had taken her to the laundry rooms and they sat by one another as they scrubbed dirty tunics in soapy water. The female could clearly see the tension Celaena held in her shoulders, the anger blazing in her eyes. Arya spoke soothingly about what had occurred in the compounds since she had left. Apparently, the kitchen boy, Luca, had a crush on Eryn. Eryn seemed to like him in return. Her little crush had apparently distracted her enough that she had lost her footing while training, leading to the injured ankle.

Celaena found that she appreciated Arya and her soothing words. She managed to help her calm down a bit, to get her mind off of Rowan and Fenrys and whatever was happening between them. She didn’t know much about mating bonds, but she remembered the stories from when she was younger and the Fae still lived on her continent. She remembered that the Fae could get territorial to the point of violence about their mates. She hadn’t wanted Rowan to hurt Fenrys because of what they had done, even if the prince had shown no inclination of wanting anything to do with her. She wasn’t sure what his instincts were telling him. 

But, Arya had talked her down a bit. She reminded Celaena of her mother. Evalin had always been able to calm her down when her temper had gotten the better of her, when her fires had threatened to come spewing out. Her mother had always known what to say.

Gods, did Celaena miss her.

Fenrys managed to find her as she and Arya were bringing the wet laundry to be hung to dry. Relief flushed through her when she saw that her friend was unharmed. Perhaps a bit angry, judging at the crease between his brows, but not hurt. 

He explained to her that he would be leaving the next morning, that Rowan would complete her training. Celaena couldn’t stop the feeling of dread from filling every inch of her at the idea of having to spend time with Rowan. 

Fenrys helped them hang the laundry and complete other chores. Night came quickly. The females that Celaena had been rooming with joined them for dinner. Fenrys acted as if nothing had changed, being his ever charming self. And though Celaena tried to smile and laugh, they didn’t feel genuine. Fenrys was leaving.

She didn’t want to be alone again.

Celaena slept fitfully in her little cot that night, her dreams filled with silver hair and a white-tailed hawk whose cry seemed to ring through her ears even after she awoke before dawn. 

She dressed and headed outside. There was still mist hanging above the dewy grass, the sky beginning to glow with the rising sun. She found Fenrys readying his mare, jaw clenched and face tight. But, his expression softened once he saw her there to say farewell.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’ll miss your gods-awful jokes,” Celaena said, trying to muster up a smile. 

“I make wonderful jokes. I would miss them too.”

Celaena laughed even as she felt her throat beginning to tighten. She hadn’t known Fenrys long, but the kindness he had shown her had left its mark. It was a wonderful glimpse of what could have been. Of what should be. 

Fenrys glanced up, studying the sky. His lips tightened. “Well. I suppose I should be on my way.”

"We'll see each other again. One day." Fenrys squeezed her shoulders, flashing that crooked smile. “Give him hell, Celaena.”

Celaena lunged forward, throwing her arms around Fenrys’ shoulders and hugging him tightly. He returned the embrace in full before pulling back and pressing a kiss upon the skin of her forehead.

"Thank you," she whispered. "For everything."

He offered her a sad smile before his gaze caught on something behind her, eyes darkening for a moment before they were back on her.

Celaena glanced over her shoulder in the direction Fenrys had been looking, finding Rowan lingering by the fortress, face stony and arms crossed over his chest. He was waiting for her, waiting for them to begin her training. She swallowed the lump of nerves that tried to lodge itself in her throat before looking at Fenrys.

The smile on her face was sharp as she vowed, “I will.”

~~

a/n: new part! hope everyone enjoyed. probably wont be able to get the next part out until my finals are finished. lmk what yall think!!

tags: @tiredbutstillreading @hellasblessed @thisismylibrary @miserablesmusings @empress-ofbloodshed @depressedreader @morganofthewildfire @sleeping-and-books @emily-gsh @ladyfireheart-and-buzzard @untoldstuff @swankii-art-teacher @poisonous00 @mis-lil-red @the-third-me @gracie-rosee @jesstargaryenqueen @pullnpeeltwizzlers @rowaelinismyotp @thewilderheart

[whaleofatjme1920]

In the Backyard Catching Fireflies (Hoodie X F!Reader X Masky)

In the Backyard Catching Fireflies

[Hoodie X F!Reader X Masky]

[Warnings: slight blood]

You honestly could have dreamed you would be in this type of situation if you were looking at this from the lens of last year's Reader. It was a mistake to even make contact with them to begin with.

As a child, your mother would often bring you into the woods to look for fun things: flowers, mushrooms, rocks, sometimes bones or pieces of trees. Other times, she brought you out there to practice her own magick, other days it was just to spend time in nature, and every other time than those reasons was just to spend time with you, her one and only beloved daughter. The correct term would be ‘witch’ but your mother never actually called herself one. Magickal practitioner, maybe, but never a ‘witch.’ You, on the other hand, absolutely took that term with pride.

You being a witch was what accidentally caused you to meet them to begin with. One evening, while out and about in the forest on the edge of town where you looked for fresh violets to eventually make violet syrup for your daughter’s ‘magical creature tea party,’ you found your favorite stretch of woods filled with the scent of blood. How strange, and it didn’t strike you as an animal’s blood. No, this was much stronger, more metallic, and carried the weight of sins past in its wake. As you looked around the forest to see what on earth was causing the terrible scent, you saw two men get spit out in between the trees. They flailed for a moment before getting tossed onto the forest floor, looking so much worse for wear.

“Oh my gods!” You exclaimed in surprise as you began to run over to the two, wondering if they were okay. You drew cautiously near them, only momentarily pausing to grab a large stick from the ground should they pounce when you finally got close enough to see their faces. How peculiar - their faces were covered. The one in the yellow hoodie had a ski-mask with a frown etched onto its surface, and the one in the tan coat was donned with a white mask with feminine features.

Your eyes flicked down to their midsections - that’s where the blood came from. They’re out cold, and you confirm that by trying to get them up. No dice. Against your better judgement, you load them onto your little wagon and bring them back to the car. It wouldn’t be right for you to just… leave them to bleed all over the forest floor.

You entered back into your house around the early evening, tired from trying to drag two grown men much bigger than you into your garage and set them up so you can work on them.

“Mommy?” Your small daughter’s voice piped in as she popped her head through the door leading to the garage where you were. “Who are they?”

“Got hurt,” you replied. “Can you get me the first aid kit?”

Your little girl smiled widely and nodded before she quickly zoomed back into the house. “Make sure to get the lavender and rosemary oil too! Can you do that for me, Magnolia?” You called out.

You heard your little girl running around as if she went back to get something. She eventually came back to the door, her arms full of things she thought you needed and the things you actually needed. “Thank you so much, baby,” you said with a small smile, petting her head as she put the things down on the table for you. “Go upstairs and watch some TV for me, okay? I don’t think I want to overwhelm our guests.”

At the sound of being able to watch more spongebob, she zoomed off and allowed you to get to work.

You mentally asked the two men before you to forgive the intrusion as you lifted their shirts to get at their wounds. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen something like this before. Is that… Are those claw marks? You dab a piece of cloth with some isopropyl alcohol and move to the white masked man and get three of the four lines cleaned when he awoke. His eyes shot open and his hand was gripping painfully tight at your wrist.

“Who the hell are you?” He asked in a panic, struggling to get you off of him in his half awake state. “Where are we?”

“Woah!” You cried out as you attempted to wriggle your hand free from his grasp. “I’m just cleaning you up-”

“Where are we?” He’s rattling off questions so fast and so loud that it wakes the second one up.

Due to you not being able to hold him down as well, he was able to pounce up and pin you to the ground, ready to end your life.

“Agh- stop!” You cried out in shock. “I just wanted to patch you two up!”

The man in the ski mask looked into your eyes for any hint of lying, or deception only to find none. Still, you were a normal person getting involved with two proxies. That in itself warrants death according to their society’s rules - and the Slender Man’s will.

“Wait,” the man in the white mask sighed. “Let her finish this up. You’re bleeding out on the floor.”

On cue at his comrade’s words, Hoodie glanced down to his midsection. He was indeed bleeding out on the garage floor and by extension, you. Realizing he was in no state to even consider inflicting damage, he relented.

An awkward silence quickly built up once you were back working on them. “So… What’re your names?”

“Hoodie.”

“Masky.”

“Interesting names,” you noted as you continued to work. “I’m Reader.”

“Interesting name,” Masky mirrors.

You laugh slightly.

That wasn’t the last you saw of the two men. They left almost immediately after being patched up much to your chagrin, but came back about a week later to properly thank you.

“We noticed some spell books in your garage before we left,” Hoodie began before nodding for Masky to go to the back of the car (they stole). “One of them being florals and it looked like you had some space in the front of your house. So, we brought you some flowers.”

You move your vision from over Hoodie’s shoulder to see Masky holding planters full of flower’s you’ve never even seen before. “Oh my gods,” you said in slight surprise as Masky places the small bushes down in front of their designated spots.

“We can plant them for you - or if you don’t like them we can-”

“No, no! They’re beautiful and the front lawn needs some color,” you beamed, looking at the array of colors dotting your front lawn. “How did… Where did you even find those?”

“We know a guy,” Masky said as he went back to the car to get a shovel.

You ended up going out there to help them plant the flower bushes and spent some more time in their company while you worked.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Masky said as he began to carefully place one of the shrubs into the dirt.

“Too broad,” you teased slightly.

Masky rolled his brown eyes. “You and magick.”

“My mother practiced, now I do,” you replied as you gently scooped back some of the dirt. “Most of it is home related work, but these plants are such a big help.” You took in their sweet scent. Come to think of it, you don’t think you’ve ever seen these types of flowers before anywhere. “What about you two?”

“Travelers, of some sort,” Hoodie piped in. “Never stay in one place for too long.” He glanced over to Masky to continue.

“That’s pretty much it,” Masky whistled slightly. “Used to be film students. Now we just… Go wherever the winds take us.”

From there, you began to hear stories from the two. Mostly little adventures they’d gone to, creepy towns they never wished to visit ever again, people they wished they stayed in contact with and everything and anything in between. It was actually rather nice to talk to other adults - and while they were relatively quiet about their past past, they seemed at ease talking with you about these things.

In return, you told them about other memories and anecdotes in your life. Small memories of climbing up the mountain with your mother, meeting your friends, your academic adventures and what brought you out to this part of the country.

“Wanted to get away from it all, I guess,” you said as the three of you sat on the front porch. “Figured it would be better to start again out here than face everything that had happened back there.”

Hoodie shared a look with Masky for but a moment. You hadn’t gone into detail about what happened back then, but they could somewhat fill in the lines with their experience of the world so far.

They came by plenty of times after that - sometimes together, sometimes not. Most of the time they stayed on your porch with you, chatting away about the day’s events and what would come next. You told them about your job, a teacher’s assistant to middle schoolers, and how you often passed your time. They eventually showed you their faces - and lord were they handsome - and still refused to tell you about their actual work.

“It’s dangerous, that’s all you need to know,” Hoodie had said one night while sipping a beer bottle.

Yet, they seemed to come by even more than usual when they met your darling little girl, Magnolia. Somehow, they’d managed to avoid her and her them throughout all their visits, but one afternoon near the beginning of the school year, that all changed.

She’s only 7, and the school bus often lets her out about a block from your home. You trust her enough to walk there and back (though another part of you wants to hold onto her forever and never let go).

“What time is it?” You hummed, sipping at your iced tea.

“About… 3:30, why?” Masky asked as he looked at his watch.

You immediately perked up. “She should be home soon,” you said eyes wandering from the two men on the steps with you towards the direction you knew your little girl was going to be coming from. And just like clockwork, there she was.

“Mommy!” She cried out, a large smile on her face as she began to run the rest of the way to the front steps.

“Mags!” You giggled as you maneuvered your way through the two men before hurriedly meeting her half way. “There’s my special little girl,” you laughed, taking her into your arms, picking her up and spinning her. “How was your day?” You ask, carrying her in your arms as you make it back to the front porch.

Masky and Hoodie move aside slightly as you sit back down with Magnolia on your lap.

“It was so fun! Today, we talked about bugs!”

“You did?” You asked as she nodded rapidly. “Tell me all about it while I get you something to drink and a snack, okay?” You said as you put her onto the steps before standing and opening the front door - and propping it open so you could still hear her and see her from the kitchen.

“We learned all about butterflies and what happens when they’re babies and become pretty,” Magnolia began to explain. “And then Miss Honey said we were gonna get caterpillar babies in our classroom and release them later. And then, she told us about bees and how bumbly they are-”

You listened to Magnolia go on about her lesson with a small smile as you fixed her some iced tea and apple slices. You could listen to her all day. When you failed to answer one of her questions, you heard Masky picking it back up for you.

“Hey Mommy? Why is the sky blue?”

A beat of silence because you honestly didn’t hear it.

“The atmosphere,” Masky began as he looked up at the perfectly azure sky. “You know what the states of matter are, don’t you?”

Magnolia nodded. “I do! Solid, liquid and gas,” she answered.

Masky smiled back and nodded. “Yeah, that’s it. Atmosphere is air and it covers the whole earth like a blanket,” he explained.

“It does?”

“Absolutely,” Hoodie chimed in.

Magnolia looked in between the two men with stars in her eyes, urging them to continue.

“The atmosphere changes the way that light from the sun reaches us,” Masky continued. “Light comes to us in wavelengths,” he moves his hand up and down like ‘waves’ to show what he means. “And those wavelengths look different depending on what they hit,” he claps his hands together, “and how long they are.”

“Do shorter wave… wavelengths show different colors?” Magnolia asks, clearly enamored in Masky’s teaching.

“Smart girl,” Masky chuckled softly as he ruffled her hair.

You finally come back from the kitchen with Magnolia’s snack and drink, more than pleased to see how well Masky and Hoodie were doing with her. Magnolia was admittedly a shy girl - she never really warmed up to people easily, especially not men given the situation with her father (who you’d rather not think about most days).

“And what about rainbows? Are those wavelengths?”

Both Hoodie and Masky laughed slightly before entertaining your daughter’s question as she sipped on her drink and bit into the apple slices. You watched with a small smile as you listened to the three talk.

After meeting Magnolia, Hoodie and Masky were more often at your house than not. And it carried on like that throughout the school year.

Masky often helped Magnolia with her science and math when you didn’t (feel like it).

“Mhm, and how many do you need to add to 5 in order to make 9?” Masky asked, eyes

glancing between your daughter and her math worksheet.

Magnolia smiled widely, “It’s 4.” She said it so confidently that you felt your heart burst from the living room.

“Good job,” Masky smiled back just as widely. “I’m sure you don’t know what you have to add to 8 to get 15, do you?”

“7!”

“Gods, you are so smart,” Masky chuckled warmly, hand once again ruffling her hair.

Hoodie was much more inclined to help with her reading and language arts skills. Seemed he had a knack for those things over math and science anyways.

“Spell bridge.”

“B-R-I-D-G-E.” Magnolia said with a grin.

Hoodie nodded. “Alright, how about… Believe?”

Magnolia furrowed her eyebrows slightly but gave a stab at it anyways. “B-E-L… I-E-V-E.” I before E, right?

“Good one. And laughter?”

“L-A-U-... F-no… G-H… T-E-R?”

“Nice job!” Hoodie complimente in an excited tone, scooping Magnolia up onto his lap making her burst into a fit of giggles. “You are seriously gonna kick everyone’s butt at the spelling bee on Friday.”

While they grew closer with your little girl, you noticed they had also grown oddly close with you as well. It came in little bouts - sometimes Masky would be cuddling with you on the couch while you watched the late night news. Hoodie would sometimes spend time with you in the garden and help when he didn’t have to - he was there just because he wanted to be with you. There were some days when they’d get you little trinkets, plants and herbs to help with your magick. Masky would even remind you of the full moon so you could put a jug out for moon water - and Hoodie would inform you of when the planets were in retrograde to potentially explain any odd behavior (remember: mundane of magickal.) They were helpful. Other times the three of you would spend the day together and eat brunch and act like your own individual family unit. And in your own unique way, you were - what with Magnolia now referring to the two men as her ‘aunt Hoodie’ and ‘uncle Masky’ much to the former’s original hesitance to accept that title.

It wasn’t just you feeling this way either, it was both of them as well. Masky was surprised to see how fast Hoodie had grown to care about you as Hoodie doesn’t really care about anything anymore. Maybe himself, definitely Masky, and definitely the other two in their group - but that’s it. To care for a human and her child… That’s admittedly out of pocket for him. They’re not sure what exactly to call it, maybe it’s love, but it’s a different kind of love. One that doesn’t have a name.

Ever since they entered your life things have been better. Life has been sweeter. Your little girl is more outgoing than ever and she’s finally coming out of her shell with not one, but two positive male role models.

And that led to now. The sun had finally dipped below the horizon and the stars were coming out to play. Magnolia was about to go on summer break - and the four of you had been planning on visiting the beach sometime soon. There were a lot of things to look forward to (another magical creature plus aunt Hoodie and uncle Masky tea party) being one of those things.

“Careful with the jar, Mags,” Hoodie said as he handed Magnolia a good sized mason jar to her awiting hands.

“I will!” Magnolia said before she zipped outside the backyard.

“Masky, you want anything to drink?” Hoodie called out from the kitchen as you got together the materials for s’mores.

“Lemonade, if we have it,” Masky replied.

“Good choice,” Hoodie mumbled before turning to the fridge.

After the two of you had everything you needed, you and Hoodie went out to the backyard and started to set everything up on the glass table Masky sat at. You settled into your seat as Hoodie got a fire going in the pit and when that was ready, he let it burn and took a seat at the other side of you. With Masky to your right and Hoodie to your left, you felt an odd sense of peace.

“It’s a nice night, yeah?” You hummed out in content as you watched your baby dance around with the fireflies.

“It sure is,” Hoodie agreed, hand lightly resting on top of yours.

“Ditto,” Masky smiled, arm now around your shoulders.

In the grass, Magnolia giggled as she caught fireflies, admiring how beautiful the flashes of green looked as they danced through the swaying leaves of grass.

[klbwriting]

Unexpected Allies - Chapter 1

Fandom: Six of Crows/Shadow and Bone

Pairing: eventually will be Kaz/female!Reader but for now nothing

Warnings: I mean, Kaz Brekker is involved, someone is getting maimed

Summary:  The Darkling won the Ravka civil war, defeating the Sun Summoner and taking command of Ravka. Then he went looking for ways to make his Grisha more powerful. Kaz Brekker knew this but took the job at the Ice Court anyway, getting himself and Jesper Fahey thrown into a Ravkan prison for his efforts. After getting broken out by the Darkling's second in command the trio has to find their way to the Permafrost and the resistance gathering there. And then Kaz has to figure out a way to get his crew out of this whole mess. But how can he get himself out of the mess of feelings he has for the Grisha with all the powers?

Note: Hello!  I am alive!  I have found motivation for something else!  As much as I loved the Shadow and Bone show I have found more love in the Six of Crows books so this fic is an AU based on both.  In this the Darkling won out over Alina and then Six of Crows happened like it does, except the Darkling showed up to ruin things as he does. Also going to address the Inej sized elephant in the room, in this Kaz’s feelings were less strong towards her because I ship the fuck out of Kaz and Inej but I also ship the shit out of Kaz and myself too and I needed some self-insert.  I hope you like it, I missed writing and I’m glad to find some inspiration again.  

Kaz Brekker was known even in prison as the guy who didn't need a reason. He wanted his infamy to spread even behind bars, the better to keep those looking for a pigeon to harass away. On his first day in this hellscape he had stolen a fork from the dining hall and used it when his cellmate attempted to take the makeshift cane that he had been provided from his hand. Now he no longer had a cellmate and his old cellmate no longer had his eyes, and word spread quick of the young man willing to kill to be left alone. That had given him the time and space to start to plan his escape.

First, get Jesper as his cellmate. That was accomplished with ease. Anyone else they put in with him would be blind or deaf or crippled within 24 hours so it came down the guards asking him straight out who he wouldn't maim. He said Jesper Fahey and they allowed it if only to have a night's peace. Jesper didn't look like he was faring well. In a cell at Hellgate Jesper would have been alright but here in a West Ravkan prison near Os Alta where his Zemeni features made him stand out he had become a target. When he entered Kaz's cell rage filled the young crime lord. Jesper was thinner than ever, dark circles under his eyes and hands fidgeting constantly, almost like he needed a drug but Kaz knew it was just because he couldn't focus his energy.

"Jesper," Kaz whispered after the guard had left and his sharpshooter sat on the cot. "What do you need?" Jesper looked at him slowly and gave half a smile.

"Just my friend, s'all ok now," he said. Kaz felt the side of his mouth twitch up just a little. "But I could also use a way out of this damned place." Kaz nodded, gripping the wooden walking stick a little tighter. He wanted to put a comforting hand on Jesper's shoulder but he could not, Jordie's body, cold and wet and dead flooded his mind, and he couldn't bring himself to reach out. He hated that this place seemed to be tearing his friend apart slowly. It was even taking a toll on him. Everyday was the same, waked up with the sun, eat a breakfast of stodgy porridge and soggy bread, washed down with possibly the grimiest coffee ever made. The prisoners were then sent outside to work on either the large farm for the prison and surrounding towns or they were forced to be target practice for the Grisha guards. Normally only the worst of the worst were reserved for practice, or those that pissed off the guards. Kaz had avoided this so far but he knew Jesper had run his mouth one day, getting snarky with the yard guard and he had almost been drowned by a Tidemaker the next morning. Lunches were non-existant most days. They were shuffled from work to 'free time' which meant sitting in the hot afternoon sun either playing cards, or, if they were lucky, sitting under one of the shady trees that scattered the yard. Evening was the only decent time at this hellhole, it was dinner, and then back to the cells. Kaz enjoyed this time, he was normally alone to plan, and now that Jesper was here they could plan together. He had the beginning, how to get out of the cell, but the rest he was still working on.

"I have been planning this since we got in here, you were the first part of my plan," Kaz said, watching as another set of guards walked by. He checked the small window above their heads. "She's coming any minute now." Jesper looked at him confused for a moment before the cell door opened and a guard told Kaz to get up. Kaz nodded and stood, Jesper rising as well.

"This one should come too, he was at the Ice Court with me on that night," Kaz said to the guard. The guard looked between them and shrugged, motioning for another guard, a Grisha Corpolaki judging from the kefta he wore. They led Kaz and Jesper out of the cells and into one of the small interrogation rooms. Kaz was familiar with the room at this point, having been there several times in the past few months speaking with the Grisha Infernei who was seated at one of the two chairs in the room. She looked up as they entered and he noticed that she seemed relieved, something she hadn't shown before.

"Are there anymore of your comrades from the Ice Court in this prison?" she asked, motioning for another chair to be brought in. Jesper sat down hard while Kaz stood still, leaning on the walking stick and once again studying the Infernei. She wore a red kefta with black stitching, something different from the others and he was still not sure why. He supposed it was because she was high in the ranks. After the Darkling defeated Alina Starkov and her followers he had gone back to using his true name, Aleksander Morosova, and became king of Ravka. He used the power that he had sucked from the Sun Summoner to control the Fold now, moving and reshaping it to whatever he needed and on the night of Kaz's jurda parem heist he apparently needed the jurda parem also. Kaz and Jesper had been taken but the others had escaped.

"No, no more of us, just we two were involved," he said. The Grisha looked between them, assessing them. Kaz took another moment to look over her while she studied Jesper. He always liked to measure who he was up against, and he didn't mind studying her. She was curvy, seeming to like waffles more than Nina did, with hair a deep auburn and eyes the color of dark chocolate. The first time he saw them they reminded him of Inej's eyes except her's were more hopeful than he had ever seen Inej. This Grisha fully believed that something good could still happen in the world. Kaz was almost jealous of this, but of course, this Grisha had seen her side win the Ravka civil war. His eyes now met hers and he saw that while he was studying her she had been doing the same to him. He could tell she knew he was lying but he didn't care. He had spent the last 4 months keeping his answers vague, giving just enough information so that she would feed him information back about the current situation at the Little Palace, now the true royal home since the Grand Palace lay in ruin. King Aleksander left it as a reminder to those who would attempt to assassinate him, bodies still left scattered around the rubble, Alina Starkov's kefta in tatters on the front steps. Kaz hadn't seen it but from the way this Grisha described it, he believed it was terrifying.

"Mr. Brekker, we both know the heist you were attempting could never be accomplished with just two people," she said, a knowing smile on her face. This seeming infatuation the Grisha had with him was a plus for Kaz. He often wondered if he could possibly seduce his way out of the situation but his mind couldn't fathom the interactions involved, so he would wait. Perhaps this woman had a inclination towards criminals, she might be seduced by anyone, Jesper could do it easily, Kaz just had to get the ball rolling so to speak.

"I don't know, I think Jesper and I can accomplish anything we put out mind to," he answered, bringing himself to nudge his partner in crime with his elbow. The Grisha nodded and opened her notebook as she did at every meeting and began to write.

Y/N had noticed the look on Kaz Brekker's face when he elbowed Jesper Fahey. She could see his hesitation, she noticed the look in his storm gray eyes. He was bracing himself for impact as if the touch would somehow hurt him. Jesper's face was surprised at the touch, and he physically turned towards Kaz with shock. She opened her notebook and pretended to jot down something important as she did every day, but she mentally notated this interaction. She had been listening to others in the prison and despite his limp Kaz never let anyone see him as weak, however, this aversion to touch was never mentioned. He hid it well out in the general population but she could see something about touch bothered him immensely, that information could be useful later. Kaz Brekker was a tough nut to crack she had to admit, but eventually she would get to where she needed to be with him, hopefully sooner rather than later. Aleksander was having a tough time buying her excuses and she had to become even more convincing for him, continuing to keep his trust after the betrayal of the Sun Summoner was an arduous task. She hoped soon she could drop her facade and begin her true purpose, breaking Kaz Brekker and his cohorts out of this prison and find the gathering resistance in the Permafrost.

"Alright Mr. Brekker, we left off yesterday with you explaining to me how you came to know about jurda parem and what the Fjerdans were doing with Bo Yul-Bayor and his son Kuwei?" she said. It had taken months for Kaz to even start explaining anything to her. She had hoped that agreeing to allow his friend to be his cellmate would open him up. Luckily the gamble had worked at their last interrogation. His answers had still been too vague to really make an impact but it was a start. She hated to make him desperate but she needed the information, something to feed to Aleksander and send him on a chase for more jurda parem. Kuwei Yol-Bo had escaped from the Ice Court and that knowledge was keeping Bo from cooperating with the Second Army. He had recreated exactly one vial of jurda parem and refused to create another until his son was returned safely to him. Kaz Brekker and Jesper Fahey had been the last people to see Kuwei alive and she needed something to tell Aleksander before he decided to come here and do the interrogations himself.

"Yes, I believe I told you that a rumor had gone around Ketterdam and that I just happened to hear it," he said, making sure he was as convincing as he could be. Once again Y/N pretended to write something down, pretending to believe his lie. He was a very good liar, she could see that in the way his eyes held truth, his body language said honest, even his pulse was calm, however, the blood in his veins moved just a milisecond faster during his falsehoods. It had taken nearly a month to figure out the tell in his body but she had done it and now she used this against him.

"Must have been quite a rumor to make you put your friends in the line of fire of Fjerdans and of King Aleksander," she said, keeping her voice light, leaning a little closer to him. She couldn't lie, she was enraptured by the young man from the Barrel of Ketterdam, but she wasn't foolish enough to believe that he would ever see her as anything other than another Ravkan Grisha blindly serving her king, but she could pretend that she hoped to lure him in, get him feeling confident about her.

"Jesper will tell you, he was eager to join me to find this new drug, imagine the kruge we could make from such a thing," Kaz said, standing suddenly and poking Jesper towards Y/N with his cane. He moved towards the wall, leaning against it. Y/N watched him for a few moments before turning her attention to Jesper. He wanted to push someone else at her? Why? She could tell he liked the attention she gave him, maybe not in a way most men did, but he liked it all the same. Jesper barked a laugh.

"Eager? You came back and acted like we were going to be rolling in kruge, become kings of Kerch," Jesper said. He was also a practiced liar, following the lead of his boss as it were. Y/N smiled at Jesper then, making sure her brown eyes looked intrigued and enraptured. She noticed the Zemeni man leaned back in his chair then, clearly not interested in the attentions of a Grisha like herself. "But ya, I mean, I wanted the kruge and I was having a good run that night at the tables, felt lady luck was on my side." She saw him fidgeting near his waist, where his guns should be. She had those stored in her private quarters, along with a certain crow headed cane, waiting for the right moment. She had been watching Kaz and Jesper since they arrived, having her spies give her information on them. They were the only link she had to Kuwei and Inej Ghafa and she needed to know all she could before she continued her plan.

She tried to pry more out of the two for several minutes before one of her people, a young Squallor entered.

"The hour is late Korovsa, the king is finished waiting," she whispered. Y/N’s jaw tightened. Her eyes flashed to Kaz and she saw him take notice of the slight change in her features. Her fears were starting to come to pass. She needed to end this charade now.

"Guard, please escort Mr. Fahey back to his new cell. Mr. Brekker and I have more to discuss," she ordered. The guard grabbed Jesper's arm, hauling him from the seat. Y/N wanted to say something, tell them to lay off the guy, but knew she couldn't appear as if she cared. Once he was gone she made a motion for Kaz to sit. He still stood. "Sit, now," she insisted, hoping he heard the urgency in her voice. He eyed for another moment before he moved to sit. She leaned closer, all of her coy attitude gone.

"What's happened?" Kaz asked casually, working the top of the walking stick with his hands, the only sign of his concern. Y/N let out a breath.

"My time is up, tomorrow night expect there to be a riot, stay in your cell with Jesper, don't leave until you hear 2 bells, then leave the cell and go to your left, the door will be ajar due to the last guard through it mistakenly knocking over mop. Once you are in the corridor go right and follow it to the deserted morgue. I will join you and lead you and Jesper out, do not leave without me," she said.

"Why should I believe any of this? That you're just going to help up walk out of there?" Kaz asked, trying to read her, seeing if she was lying. She groaned annoyed. Why was it that her only hope was as distrustful as her current king?

"Because I want to see the king's body burn before he destroys all of us," she whispered, voice dripping with venom. Kaz looked a little surprised at her viciousness and he nodded. She sat back, knowing that by now the guard had returned.

"Well Mr. Brekker, you've once again been no help, tomorrow the king will be coming to personally interrogate you, I hope you are looking forward to it," she said. "Guard take him back to his cell." The guard nodded and yanked him out of the chair. "Careful, the king won't like it if he can't inflict the pain himself," she warned, more to Kaz than the guard. She hoped Kaz believed her enough, that she had shown her hand to him enough that he would do as she asked. If he didn't they were all screwed.

[merminns]

No regrets

Erwin Smith x Reader

❧ Request: Hii may i request...Erwin angst...when (S3 spoiler) Erwin march toward the 🐒 with the other soldier, instead of him tht went, it was the reader. Reader just cant make the humanity lost their commander so when he is distracting (idk something happened) reader just take their horse n march with the soldiers, (then do ur magic DETAILS like ur erwin stories✨✨) n levi also decide not to save us like in the s3....shshsh i know this lame :33

❧ Content/Warnings: platonic levi x reader, season 3 spoilers, angst, mentions of injuries and blood, reader dies in the end 

❧ Word count: 3k

❧ Notes: this is a repost from my old blog

Going back to shiganshina after all of these years was a huge deal. Especially after the glorious send-off you were given by the citizens of Wall Rose. You came back to reclaim Wall Maria after six long years, you’re taking back your land and defeating the titans that filled your hearts with terror, cause that’s what heroes do.

But in reality, it didn’t really feel that way to you. Instead of being the hero who’s facing their fear, you feel like a terrified child living in a nightmare.

You expected a fight with the titans, of course, you did. Taking back your land won’t come without a fight, without losses. And it’s not your first time facing titans.

You’ve been fighting them for years now, getting rid of them one after the other alongside your friends. Your records are filled with a decent number of kills and you are proud of it.

But this… this is different, you’ve never been in this situation before. You fought titans and you watched them kill your comrades in the worst ways imaginable, but never in your various years within the survey corps did you ever imagine that these monsters would show this tactical intelligence.

It made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Titans are a nightmare on their own, with intelligence like that you’re surely done for.

When you came to shiganshina you expected a fight against the armored and the colossal, even the beast titan, but not a tactical war with pure titans that follow command, and most certainly not rocks killing your most skilled comrades and caging you against the wall.

Despite your fear, you felt a sarcastic chuckle slip past your lips. You’ve lived for years with nightmares of being eaten, and now you’re dying in a titan game of baseball, how pathetic.

Your eyes drifted to Erwin and Levi who were having a private conversation nearby as you tried to calm the panicking recruits. Erwin… your commander, your love, the man who never knew how to back down. He's not in the best physical state, but he just had to come along. He had to be here even though he knew he won't be able to fight.

Despite the fear eating at your heart, you kept your composure, that’s the least you owed your commander. After the recruits calmed down, you made your way to where Erwin and Levi stood. Their conversation halted as you stood in front of them, their eyes holding something unreadable in their depth.

"I'm hoping these looks mean you came up with a plan… " You spoke, your voice coming with the quiver you never hoped to show.

A moment of silence passed, a look shared between Erwin and Levi… if this meant anything then you weren’t about to hear good news. There was tension in the air as Erwin explained his plan to you. It was then that you understood the look in their eyes, you think a similar one can be seen in your eyes now.

It finally dawned on you that this is the end. There is no way out of this war alive. Erwin's plan had a single meaning; if you keep standing where you are, you'll be flattened by the rocks thrown at you by the beast, and if you fight back, you die. You'll have to give your lives so Levi could deal with the Beast Titan.

You always knew this day would come. A war with the titans can’t end without casualties. The survey corps numbers were always changing. These are all facts, but you had hoped it wouldn’t be like this.

The fear was eating at your insides, it’s impossible to face titans without it, but you knew ever since your very first day with the corps that you’ll have to be ready to give your life. You were ready to accept it… that is, until Erwin spoke up again.

"We'd have to ask these young people to give up their lives. You'd need the skills of a first-rate con man to come up with a reason that convincing, so I doubt any of them would charge forward unless I was leading the way."

His words are like a slap back to reality, it wasn’t just your life you were giving. All of your remaining comrades will have to give theirs too, including the commander. The survey corps are going to be wiped out in a crazy move of mass suicide. But it wasn’t only your lives that would have to be given, and all it took was one look in Erwin’s eyes to know where this was going.

"Which would mean I'd be the first to die, " Erwin said and you held your breath waiting for his next words "without ever learning… what was in that basement."

You knew it, you knew this was coming but it still hurt. Amid this chaos, you managed to forget the reason why Erwin insisted to be here in the first place.

'Oh, Erwin, if only you weren't so stubborn' The words were dancing on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t speak.

Of course, Erwin has dreams, he’s just as much of a human as everyone here. While most of the corps were fighting for freedom or revenge, Erwin was fighting for the truth, for evidence that his father’s death meant something.

The look of shock on Levi’s face came nowhere close to the pain you felt. You joined the scouts for a purpose, too. Your dream was freedom, you hoped to be free of the confinement and the terror that the existence of the titans brought. But, now that you think about it, you did get a taste of freedom.

You were free from the confinement of the walls on your horse, feeling the air rushing through your hair and over your skin every time you went out on an expedition.

You were free of terror every time you raised your swords to cut through the nape of a titan’s neck. Every time you brought a titan down you had a taste of the freedom you were chasing.

And the people who fought for revenge, didn’t they get that too? They killed titans, they felt the satisfaction of getting rid of the enemy who hurt them and their loved ones.

The only dream that was never given a chance was Erwin’s. How unfair could the world be to take away the only chance from the man who helped give almost every soldier in the scouts a taste of their dreams? No… he can’t die, not yet.  

You let Erwin give his speech. That’s one thing that no one else can do. Erwin is the only one who can convince the recruits, crying out in fear, to stand tall and fight back as they take their last breaths of the air filled with the smell of dust and death.

As Erwin and the recruits were absorbed in their final thoughts and the speech, you slightly pulled on Levi’s sleeve pulling him back several steps.

The first step of your plan came into action as you answered Levi’s questioning look with a whisper “I want you to distract him.”

“What?” Levi asked, the confusion only growing on his face.

“I want you to distract Erwin. He is giving his speech, I’ll lead the recruits to their death,” you say, your whole being pleading that Levi would agree to help you. He has to, this won’t work out without his help.

“But—”

“Levi, please. The scouts still need him, you know that!” you pause glancing back at Erwin to make sure he’s not listening “When it’s time to move, I want you to pull him aside, tell him it’s something important. It’ll only take a few seconds, then you can carry out your part of the plan and kill the beast.”

“And how do you plan to stop Erwin from following you?”

“I’ll take any extra horses with me, he won’t be able to help you kill the beast and his odm gear won’t do much for him to follow after me,” you held your breath, your eyes pleading. This has to work “Please! Just do me this final favor.”

A moment passed as Levi glanced at Erwin then back to you, his expression unreadable. It was obvious your sacrifice isn’t just for the sake of the corps. “...Fine, but you’ll have to be quick”

“I’ll do my best… Thank you, Levi” the smile that spread across your face was blinding. It held so much gratitude, a final thank you combined with a goodbye.

It didn’t take long for Erwin’s words to give everyone back their composure. You helped everyone fall in line as fast as possible. You are running out of time. The houses around you are almost flattened. You have to move forward, this has to work. You can’t fail this, it has to be meaningful, for you, for the recruits who’ll pay their lives with you, for the whole of humanity… and most importantly, for Erwin.

Everyone is on their horses but it’s not time to move yet. You let your eyes meet Levi’s for one last time giving him a slight nod, signaling for him that you’re ready as you settled on your horse.

Levi stopped Erwin from riding his horse beside you, telling him there’s something important that he has to know first and pulling him aside. He walked Erwin as far from you and the recruits as possible without making it seem suspicious.

Erwin followed urgently after Levi not even allowing you one last look at his face. But that was ok, you didn’t need to see his face, it was already burned to the back of your eyelids.

It all took a few seconds, once you saw Levi and Erwin start talking you took hold of Erwin’s horse and started screaming encouragements for the recruits to charge as you rushed forward. Erwin’s shock had him freeze for a couple of seconds and that was enough for you.

You charged forward with the recruits right after you. Levi waited for a few more seconds to make sure Erwin wouldn’t follow after you. When he was sure you were far enough he took off towards his target, leaving Erwin standing there alone his eyes wide in shock.

Your screams of encouragement were so loud, louder than Erwin ever heard them. They were loud enough that even though you were too far away for him to follow he could still hear your voice filled with determination.

You didn’t look back, there was no reason to. This is the right decision, this plan will work and Erwin will lead what’s left of the scouts to victory. Your life is a small price to pay, it’s nothing compared to the rest of the lives that were already lost.

You can see the beast drawing his hand back, getting ready to shower you with the next round of crushed boulders. Your yelling never stopped even though your throat was running sore from all the screaming.

You didn’t stop when the flares were shot, not when the rocks started showering the frontline lead by you. You didn’t stop when the rocks started growing larger in your vision, you hardly even saw them. All you could see was the future, a bright one without the titans and the fear and the pain. You could see the past, the best and the worst of it. All the memories that you shared with every single one of your comrades.

You kept yelling for everyone to rush forward as tears ran down your face. It’s going to be ok, you had all you ever needed. It was time for you to follow through the same path your fallen comrades walked.

Your screams were cut short when the first rock hit you, sharp pain running through your whole body and the world started spinning as you fell off your horse. The tears still filling your eyes helped blind you, sharp whistles filling your ears and the ever-growing pain flowing through you in waves.

You could hear screams of the fallen around you, hidden behind the ringing in your ears. You could feel the air rushing across your skin as the soldiers rushed past you on their horses. Your mind was as paralyzed with pain as your body.

You just laid on the ground, your tear-filled eyes directed to the blue of the sky but the world has lost its color. It went on forever until you were numb, you have lost all feeling, the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heart growing faint as the blood pooled around your body.

You let your eyelids cover your eyes like curtains, your mind swimming somewhere between consciousness and an endless void. You could hardly feel a thing.

It almost felt like falling asleep, your grasp on reality slipping away. But through the back of your mind, the tiny part that was still conscious could feel your body being moved by someone and a rapid rush of air running across your skin.

It gave a jolt to your brain as if something is trying to pull you back to reality but you were too weak. All you wanted was some rest, you just wanted to sleep.

It was a shock to everyone that you’re still alive. You were in bad shape after losing so much blood. Your breath was faint, but it was there and it was enough for you to be revived by the injection. Armin’s state was worse, the fact he was still breathing was a complete miracle, his whole burned away.

Through your clouded consciousness, you could register voices and movement around your body that laid motionless close to Armin’s. It took everything in you to open your eyes, to try to make out the words being yelled back and forth around you.

Through your blurry vision, you could make out the outline of a face so close to yours, peering down at you. You couldn’t see clearly but you knew it was Erwin. Your hearing wasn’t fully registered but you could make out a few words, things like ‘Armin’, ‘Injection’, ‘need’, and your name.

Your foggy mind could barely understand what was going on, but questions started to fill up the part of your consciousness still present.

Were you dying? The last thing you remember is sharp pain rushing through you in waves, but it seems more like a distant memory.

Was Armin dying? If there are mentions of Levi’s injection then this surely is the case.

A few seconds passed when a new figure appeared in your limited line of vision looking down at you over Erwin’s shoulder. Both of them shifted around until the short figure disappeared again, leaving you with Erwin.

Erwin’s voice was so close to your ears, faint whispers about how it’s going to be alright falling past his lips. You felt a huge hand wrap gently around your forearm, followed by a sharp object touching your arm. The injection!

“No,” The barely audible whisper that left you halted Erwin’s actions as his eyes shot to your face “Did we win?”

It felt like too much time has passed before you heard Erwin’s reply “Yes, it’s over”

You were using up too much of your energy to fight back the fog filling your mind. Just a few seconds more, a few more and you’ll allow yourself some rest.

“Save… Armin” your voice was growing weaker, breaths growing shorter.

It broke Erwin’s heart. He was once again being selfish, everyone else chose to save you because you had more experience. To them, you were more valuable to the scouts, with the exception of Armin’s friends who couldn’t accept the fact of him dying.

And Erwin? He wasn’t much different. He wanted to save you because he needed to. He needed to scold you for the stupid move you pulled. He needed to tell you that he would’ve preferred dying by your side than be faced with your death. He needed you to live.

You didn’t understand, he can’t let you die. There was no time for him to explain how valuable you are to the scouts, how valuable you are to him.

He was about to ignore what you said, bring the syringe back to your arm again but with the almost non-existent strength you had, you pulled away.

“Armin” you whispered again, weakly. Your strength wasn’t enough for you to pull back completely, just slightly shift your arm away from the sharp needle, but it was enough to send your message across.

Erwin understood. You were never as selfish as him. You always made the decisions that would benefit the ones you care about most. Erwin took a shaky breath, the composure he usually kept was there for everyone’s eyes, but he wasn’t as composed on the inside.

Armin is a valuable soldier. He is an essential part of the scouts and you understood that. He should be the one to live. And Erwin knew this fight would make no difference if he couldn’t throw everything he had away.

He was ready to throw his dreams and his life away, but you chose for him. You decided he’d keep his life and dreams but in exchange, he’d have to give you up.

After injecting Armin and pulling your weak body away, Erwin stayed by your side. He kept his one hand placed on your heart, waiting for the faint beating to completely stop. And it would have lasted longer if you hadn’t used up so much energy.

To your weak mind, this was the right decision. Armin would do more change for the scouts, for humanity than you ever could. You had no regrets, you’ve got everything you ever asked for.

You allowed your eyes to rest again, let the energy leave your body. And with the last few seconds your breath was there, you could register one whisper. I love you.

Masterlist | Share thoughts with me ☺

[thesunshinebunny]

When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part IV)

Series Master list

pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader

content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter Summary: Talk doesn´t seem to be like a good attack plan and now reader has to run for their life and avoid being caught by the Jaegerists.

Words Count: 6.1k

Silence reigned in the room. Only our breaths could be heard, some agitated, others calm, as well as footsteps fading at the end of the corridor. I could feel my heart pounding hard on my chest, inwardly wishing that no one could hear it. From the distance that each one was, I doubted it was physically possible; But let's face it, in a world full of humans turned into Titans, whose possessors can regenerate their body parts, listening to the beat of a heart shouldn’t be a difficult task.

"I wanted to speak with you"

Eren's lifeless eyes weren't focused on anyone in particular, I could notice his face even darker than it had been in recent days and a look much duller. My hand on the table was very close to his, threatened with blood staining from the crimson pool that was forming on the beautiful white tablecloth.

On my left side, the little girl was shaking up and down, not looking at anyone or anything at all. She also had her hands on the table, as did everyone. I directed my gaze towards the other companions at the table, the three were reversed in a conversation that I had no intention of being part of. The only thing that interested me was to give a little security to this poor girl.

I made a little movement with my elbow and shoulder toward her, trying to get her attention, but it didn't make her turn around. I tried again, this time launching a breathless and very low 'hey', taking advantage of the voices at medium volume to lighten mine. That did work. The girl had turned her eyes to me, she was still extremely scared and it showed in her eyes and all over her face. I was very sorry to see her like this.

I gave her a slight smile, curling the tip of my lip upward, and nodded. Her gaze locked with mine for a few seconds and I could see how she was calming down, even a little, but it was there. It was a stressful situation for everyone, I didn't even want to imagine what she must feel, and if my possibilities were within bringing her some calm, I would. I made a little "s'ok" with my lips without speaking, not even whispering.

"Are you paying attention?" My gaze turned to the source of the problem again. Eren had his eyes fixed hard on my face. I thought I might have gone unnoticed, but I was wrong.

I adjusted my posture on the chair, now staring forward, but with my eyes fixed on those intense but haggard gray-green eyes. I took my gaze away from his for a second to see the girl next to me, who was again trembling with fear, and I reached my hand towards hers, returning my gaze to it’s previous position. Eren  clenched his fist at this movement and furrowed his brow even more, sending me a silent and mental warning. I ignored his threat and grabbed the girl's hand, at no point taking my eyes off his and accentuating my head up high.

"Keep your hands on the table Mikasa"

His gaze now turned to his childhood friends, standing myself alone at the side of the table, failing incredibly to calm a twelve-year-old girl. And as if there was nothing that could make the situation worse and make the moment much more stressful, they had to touch on sensitive issues, issues that were like putting a finger on the sore.

"Armin, you keep going to see Annie, do you really do it of your own free will?" Was it really necessary? There was nothing, or so it seemed, that could give any indication that Annie was about to wake up, and the fact that Armin wanted to go see her didn’t seem bad at all, or at least that’s what I thought; Indeed, it clearly showed Armin's sentimental attraction to her.

Yes, Annie was an important key to the investigation of the titans, but that was four years ago, now we were just sitting back in the chair and hoping that, by some miracle, the glass that surrounded Annie and left her in a reverie state will unfreeze. That Armin came to see her didn’t change anything in the plans of the militancy, much less the legion.

"Since you inherited the memories, a part of you is now Berthold"

Ah, that’s where the shots came from. It was difficult to understand the powers and responsibilities that came with being a titan shifter. We weren’t only talking about the short life that the owners unfortunately had to endure, but also the memories of their predecessors, memories that could haunt their current owner.

Likewise, blaming Armin for Berthold's memories wasn't going to fix things. Armin was still Armin, the sweet and calm boy, willing to fight if necessary, but always opting for the least violent solution, the most civilized one. He tried it on Annie and he tried it on Berthold, failing both times.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to blame Armin for having the memories of one of our enemies in his mind, memories that I never wish to obtain or see. As far as I knew, Grisha's memories, while they had been an impact towards the general knowledge of the world, hadn’t shaped Eren ... had they?

Nor was it fair to see how the same boy who had so supported his childhood friend in the years as a recruit, was internally unbalanced by the stubbornness of that friend. See how fear invaded his gaze and he was petrified to such putrid revelations.

"Eren ..." I tried to stop him, God, I swear I tried to stop him.

I tried to use the word my comrades wanted to use so badly, the words Armin wanted to use, but they weren't enough. In a thousandth of seconds, horrific ideas flashed through my mind, wishing none of them would come true. If the conversation went this way, it could end not just a friendship of years, but the sanity of all of us. I wasn't important in this trio, I was an add-on, and I couldn't allow Eren to continue destroying relationships and people wherever he stepped.

But I wasn't quick enough to stop him with words. When he finished defenestrating Armin, he turned his attention to Mikasa. Of all the people, the one who I was most afraid was her, the person who would collapse the most if he detached himself from her half-brother.

"You too Mikasa"

My eyes went wide as I heard the truths of the Ackerman clan. Created and genetically engineered to protect and follow orders, without conscience, without free will. Mikasa was devastated and I could see in her eyes how images of her childhood passed through her mind, images and memories that now seemed like a lie, a sham.

"In short ... a clan created to protect others who have no conscience of their own"

"Eren, stop" Armin was just as scared as I was, praying to any God who had been watching us that so much evil stop at once, that those words would stop coming out of that damn viperine tongue. Eren was vomiting word after word, without measuring the consequences, without measuring the damage it could cause to Mikasa's mind.

"In other words, slaves"

The situation was getting out of hand. Nothing we could say or do right now was going to help. The conversation that Armin wanted with all his might to take place was going overboard. If the others could be present with us, they would see clearly like me how the faith in his friend was dissipating with the seconds in the blond's gaze.

"At last I understand why I hated to see a slave who carried out all orders without question"

His eyes were filled with hatred, resentment, anger, contempt, and a thousand other degenerative feelings. His intention was very clear the moment he entered the room: to hurt; and he was succeeding.

He’d done me a lot of damage in the last year, such damage that it reached the darkest and inner corridors of my mind and it was impossible for me to move forward on a gray and dubious course, and now he was willing to continue doing more damage, this time to his closest friends, those people that I never thought, that never crossed my mind, he could destroy internally. He was annihilating their willpower and their desire to fight, and he’s doing so by colossal steps.

"Eren that's enough!" Armin and I shouted in unison. We didn’t necessary have to say a word or look at each other to know that the next words were going to be disastrous.

"Mikasa, I have always hated you"

That was the breaking point. Mikasa's eyes filled with tears and they didn't last for a second on her lids, they were already being spilled onto her cheeks. She was completely devastated and I couldn't blame her. The person who had given her a home after the brutal murder of her parents, the person to whom she was so devoted and would give her life, was turning his back on her, as well as killing sentimentally.

"You damn bastard!"

Armin jumped on the table with the intention of reaching the dark-haired man, but he didn’t get very far, being pulled from the chest to the hard wood of the furniture by Mikasa herself. And that only made the situation worse and agreed with Eren. It was as if fate was laughing at us for trying to pull the strings of our paths, strings that handled us like puppets and over which we had no control.

Mikasa let go of Armin's hand when she realized the act she just did, horrified with herself, and he now had the opportunity to pounce on Eren, throwing a punch in the middle of his face and throwing him to the floor. With that, the table flew backwards and in a reflex action, I also threw myself back, letting the chair fall to one side and avoiding any blow that the table could give me.

Unconsciously I lunged towards the girl next to me, preventing at all times that the table hit her or that some of the two men who were fighting each other to ended up bumping into her. I pushed her away from any crossing point and hid her behind my back, using my body as a shield against any impact that could shoot towards our position. Mikasa had also run to the left side of the wine cabinet, contemplating the scene before hers with complete sadness.

Eren's fist slammed into Armin's face, throwing him straight into the cabinet, knocking a few wines against his back and knocking a couple of ceramic plates to the floor. My instincts screamed I needed to help Armin, even knowing that he could regenerate in a matter of seconds, that the cuts and bruises weren't going to last long, but that wasn't why I wanted to help him.

It wasn’t the pain and physical blows that worried me, but the psychological anger and damage that this was entailing.

"Jaeger-san!"

Two followers slammed into the room, pointing their rifles directly at Armin and Mikasa's heads. They were unaware of my presence, paying more attention to the boy beaten from head to toe and the girl crying like a river.

I took a step forward and reaffirmed my theory, my presence wasn’t being recognized. I took another step, and another, and another, until I was right next to the fallen table and turned around, making sure the girl was still where I left her, that she was safe and sound. I gestured with my finger to my lips for her to be quiet and to stay still and turned to the scene in front of me. Eren kept beating poor Armin, who was unable to defend himself properly. He was right, in a hand-to-hand fight, Armin would be the worst off, even myself, but that didn't mean I couldn't manage to come out victorious.

Next to me, the chair Eren was sitting at a few seconds ago was still in the same place where he felt. With great care and tranquility, I bent down to grasp the back legs of it, without taking my eyes off Eren or the pseudo-guards who still had with their rifles at a shooting position, raised it to the height of my head and then smashed it against the two armed men in the stomach area. I hurriedly kicked each of them to the face, preventing them from having a chance to get up quickly, just as I slung the rifles from their shoulders with the same leg and pushed them away under a window. Without wasting time, I turned around to find Eren realizing the events that were happening next to him, and I wedged a blow in the middle of his face, in the same way Armin had done.

The blow hadn't been quite strong since he didn't fall to the ground, but it was enough to throw him off balance and make him leave Armin alone. The blonde fell to the floor, exhausted and sore from the multiple punchs to the face he had suffered, and I continued to give a new blow to the stomach height to the brunette in front of me. One of his knees fell to the ground, giving me the opportunity to grab his arm and twist him from behind, immobilizing him. I put my other arm over his armpit, preventing him from moving his arms and his upper body.

“That’s enought you fucking bastard. Mikasa..."

My face was on the crook of Eren's neck, preventing me from seeing clearly ahead, but my partial gaze sought out those tear-filled gray eyes to signal her to help me. My voice was already a signal for help even if I wasn't yelling. I could see how those eyes were full of conflicts, a battle was being fought inside her mind and she seemed to not be able to reason what she saw.

"MIKASA!"

This time I did yell, asking with all my will Mikasa could come to her senses, that she could help me with the lost cause Eren was now. I wasn’t going to be able to control him for much longer, I didn’t have the necessary strength and that was why I was trying to reach her. But the fear in my eyes was reflected when I saw that she wasn’t moving, that she was simply watching with tears in her eyes, eyes that would surely be cloudy and couldn’t see clearly. My fear was reflected when I saw that no one was going to be able to help me.

Eren hit his head against mine, right on the septum of my nose. My head jerked back involuntarily and my arms lost support on his. He grabbed my left hand, holding it high, much higher than my head, uncovering my stomach and his knee hitting it’s pit, not just once, but twice. His leg hit my knee, yanking it back and knocking me off what little balance I had left.

His grip on my hand released and I fell hard on my knees and hands onto the wooden floor. My stomach was spasming and I regurgitated bile, struggling to take in some air that I was deprived of in a matter of milliseconds. I coughed all I could until my stomach settled back, but I was unable to get back to my feet. I felt two pairs of hands grab my arms and I stood up abruptly, grabbing my hair even and looking up as the turquoise eyes set at my point of view.

"Why do you always have to be in the middle? Why can you never stay quiet in a corner without sticking your nose in someone else's butt? " Without my noticing, his fist slammed into my nose, hitting the septum back and most likely breaking it. My head cocked to the side and I could see drops of blood falling to the ground and a stream spreading from under my nostrils to my chin. "It was frustrating to see how in all the missions you were there, being a useless without importance"

Useless? I was the one who treated his wounds in training, tying his head when he hit the stone floor in his practice with the movement equipment. I was the one who put cold water on his ankle when he bent it while running through the lush forest on a rainy day. I was the one who pushed him to the side when he was going to hit a stone face down for not looking where he was going. I was one of those who saved him when he was captured by Reiner and Berthold. I was the one who pulled him out of the middle of an onslaught of titans when he first activated the coordinate, even with a wounded and bleeding shoulder.

I was the one who slapped him to make him stop crying inside the cave when Rod Reiss was transforming, claiming this wasn’t the time for his tantrums and that if he wanted to make a change in this whole twisted story, he better put down the crocodile tears for when he was in the quiet of his bed.

It was me who warned him of dozens of Marleyan soldiers when he shed from his titan back at Libero.

“And yet you continued to stick to me like a lap dog to the leg of it’s owner. Yet another slave. Makes me gag just looking at your face"

I turned my face to him, fixing my eyes on his, conveying all the hatred and contempt he was making me feel. I felt my heart shrink at such crude words, but my duel had started several weeks ago and they didn’t achieve the same effect as with Mikasa. What he did was get me to give him a contemptuous half smile and laugh in his face. His eyes darkened when he saw my reaction. Whether he expected it or not was no longer important to me. He gave a slight nod to the men behind me and I noticed how my arms were gathered around my back and tightened so that I couldn't move. One of them walked away from me and went straight towards Mikasa and Armin, pointing his rifle at their heads.

"Take them, the brat who killed Sasha too"

I wasn’t going to allow it.

My two comrades were pushed into the corridor outside while I glared at them waiting for my turn to go out with the man behind me. The girl was completely scared and she had walked to the door of her own will, perhaps avoiding being further hurt. The moment Eren was about to leave, I slapped my head against the man's face repeatedly until his grip weakened and I was able to move freely again. I turned to him, kneeing him in the face and stomach. When I managed to reduce him to the ground, making him roll into a ball and couldn't move without causing him pain when he breathed, I wanted to turn towards the door with the sole intention of getting the poor girl out of the conflict. My hand was halfway searching for her when Eren grabbed it and yanked me back violently, slamming me against the table.

I lost my balance for a second and as an involuntary act I grabbed the tablecloth, but that didn’t do much, making me fall to the floor in the same way. Eren lunged at me, his body falling completely on top of mine and pinning me to the ground. His legs were positioned at each place of my torso and his fist hit my face not once, not twice, but three times, noticing how the cheek bone began to burn. I lifted my knee to the side of his ribs, my nails finding the skin of his face, and pushed him toward the table, hitting his back against the hard wood and tangling with the tablecloth.

I got up to run, but his leg hit my ankle causing me to fall on my face and hands. When I wanted to turn around again I felt his weight against mine, his legs now better placed on my knees and both hands holding my neck. He squeezed, I felt like the air was beginning to thin, my vision was turning white and I could feel my face redden. I tried to hit him in the face, but I wasn't strong enough to make him stop. I reached the same hand towards my side visualizing one of the chairs thrown by the fight with Armin but Eren was faster and his knee was now pressing against my inner arm.

I was running out of air and at any moment I was going to lose consciousness. In a desperate attempt I turned my eyes around me as best I could and found a bottle of wine broken in half lying a few inches from us, though too far away for me to just reach out. My fingers couldn't even touch the surface of the glass and on my last attempt before I fainted, I pushed myself towards the bottle, grabbed it by the spout, and pulled it towards Eren's face, driving the broken surface onto his cheek and eye. 

Eren grunted in pain and released his hands from my neck, giving me a chance to push him back with both legs and barely get up to run. With cloudy vision and an incredible urge to cough thanks to the pressure on my cervicals and thyroids, I could not make out the whereabouts of the Marleyan girl and ran out the door to the corridor. As I passed the threshold slamming the door wide, rifle bullets were aimed at me, miraculously failing to hit my body. I shrunk my body as much as I could without stopping my feet and looked towards the end of the corridor, finding the second man who was with Armin and Mikasa shooting at me from behind them.

I was about to fall to the ground when Mikasa slammed her shoulder against his, causing him to stagger backward and she struggled to get the rifle out of his hands. In those few seconds of advantage, Armin stepped between the line of fire and me in case any bullets were fired and yelled from his position.

"Go!" I don’t know if it was due to lack of air that I couldn’t react at all quickly and when seeing my indecision to run to where the two of them were or go through the back window, Armin again shouted angrier and more determined "Just go!"

Behind me was a window with broken glass, I assumed due to the bullet holes of the rifle, with a simple blow with my elbow I could break a large part of the glass and jump to the side of the street, but not before giving one last look at Armin and Mikasa, who were still battling the man and Eren coming out of the room half healed and with smoke coming from his wounds.

I fell onto the cobbled street and started running towards the main avenue. My legs were on fire and my lungs were about to collapse, every step I took was a stronger pain in my throat. I wanted to stop and cough to regain normality in my breathing, but I heard behind me the footsteps of people running and yelling to stop me. They were chasing me and if I kept on foot I wasn't going to get very far. I put my fingers to my mouth and whistled as best I could, calling out to Phillip from afar. I had left my horse right at the front door of the restaurant, on the other side of the avenue, so I ran in that direction in order to find him early.

The so-called Jaegerists kept firing behind me, a bullet struck my leg and hit the stone on the ground and ricocheted to the left side against a house. Multiple bullets continued to brush my body, some passing very close to my face and others aimed directly at my legs. In the distance I could see Phillip riding towards me, getting closer and closer. When he came to my side, without stopping, I grabbed his leash and jumped on his back, leaving half my body hanging from lack of strength. I grabbed his neck and motioned for him to turn around and head straight for the avenue.

Phillip was always a fast horse, I thanked the universe for entrusting me to this horse from the first recon mission. He was always there for me, a loyal, strong and very audacious horse, banking me on every expedition and whatever madness crossed my mind to save my companions or myself. I always thanked him for his swiftness and now more than ever I was thanking him in a shaking voice as he continued galloping through the crowd, heading toward the wall’s gate.

Having left the Jaegerists at a considerable distance, I positioned myself correctly on his back, grabbing onto the leash and leaning forward to stroke his head for his great work. I gave myself the freedom to cough and clear my throat of any discomfort, but multiple blows and a firm rumbling behind us made me realize that nothing was over yet, as they were still chasing me, now with their own horses. There weren't many, maybe five or six people and a coach from what I could make out from the hollow of my shoulder, but they were armed and that was what made them dangerous.

I told Phillip to keep riding, to go even faster, to get to the gate as soon as possible. With the riding, the saddle hit my legs and crotch, annoying and hurting me at the same time, but I had to hold it and keep going; we had to get to the gate and fast, very fast. We were a few blocks away when I saw the gate in the distance, wide open and with their respective guards on either side of the threshold.

"Close the door!" I screamed as loudly as I could, feeling my vocal cords tear in the attempt and made my throat hurt even more. The guards turned their heads towards my figure, but none deigned to do what I asked them, they just stared at me stupidly.

"CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!" I coughed as I let out such a scream hoping it was clear enough in the message. Seeing me continue to gallop towards the gate and now hearing the bullets being fired, the guards ran towards the internal mechanism and began to close it, giving me enough time to pass through it without being crushed.

The gate ended up closing when Phillip had already traveled about ten meters outside the wall, leaving the Jaegerists on the other side.

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I dipped my head into the clear water of the river. The cold of the current massaged my battered muscles and cleaned the still bleeding wounds. It was already the third time that I’d put my head in the water and I could notice how little by little the pain was dissipating, but knew that the next day I would have a remotely swollen face and a septum to treat.

We had gotten quite far from the wall, maybe forty minutes or an hour galloping, and we had stayed by the river so as not to get lost. Phillip took the time to drink plenty of water and eat some of the dry grass that surrounded the river; I owed my partner a big one and if it was necessary to spend the little savings I had on a better chair and care for him, I would give it all… but when things were calmer and we could go home.

I lay on my back on the grass into a star-shaped possition and gazed up at the clear sky except for a few fluffy clouds. If it din’t for the recurring events in the last month, I would have taken the liberty of enjoying this beautiful day and the days before that surely there were, but I was too blind and busy to notice them.

The grass felt soft except for a few small stones scattered unevenly and the small field insects that landed on my arms and face and then flew off. It was relaxing, too relaxing. The heat of the sun's rays hit my skin and gave me a comforting sensation that soaked down to my bones, generating a pleasant interior warmth and tingling; I wanted to sleep, I wanted to rest, my body was forcing me to take a break, and this place, this moment, seemed like the perfect one. I closed my eyes, wishing sleep and tranquility would come as quickly as possible, but a vibration in the floor and Phillip's screaming snapped me out of my trance.

I raised my head, surveying my surroundings, the vibrations getting stronger as if they were getting closer. I looked at Phillip and followed his line of sight, far over the horizon, there was a litter of horses galloping over the stone paths that had been built a couple of years ago between each wall. Green overcoats could be distinguished over the horizon of the clear blue sky.

"Fuck, I was hoping to be calm for a couple more hours, come on Phillip"

I got on the back of my horse for the third time that day and directed it to the opposite side of where the other horses were riding. Being in the middle of an open field, there weren’t many houses where to take refuge, even though they had built a lot of houses between both walls. A little in the distance was a lush forest of tall trees, but not as tall as those of the Forest of Giant Trees, that enormous nature of fifty and eighty meters.

We stopped right at the entrance, hoping we had distanced ourselves from the litter of horses, but when I got off Phillip to rest my legs, I saw the path we had come from, and in the distance the same horses that he had seen on the stone path were approaching. There was no longer any doubt that they were the Jaegerists.

I turned my head towards the forest, from what I could see from the entrance the trees weren’t at a considerable distance from each other and the small dirt roads were too narrow. I didn’t know this forest at all and the mere fact of entering without knowing the terrain through the narrow corridors didn’t give me much confidence. But going around it wasn’t a good option either and I would end up being visualized in a matter of seconds. We were in a dead end, in a maze, and I had to play the few cards I had cleverly. I unbuttoned the coat which was already very badly placed on my shoulders and tied it on the strap.

"Phillip I need you to keep running, go as fast as you can and as far as your legs can reach" I pulled the saddle off his back, dropping it to the ground and tried to hide it inside a nearby bush with my foot. I brought his head closer to mine, resting my forehead on his muzzle and stroking his side one last time before saying goodbye.

"Go!" I smacked him on the back and Phillip ran down the narrow forest paths. As for me, I tried to dispel the footprints the horse had left behind before sending me to run down another path and go as far as I could into the heart of the forest.

I ran, ran and ran, my legs were on the edge, branches and thorns were digging into my skin making it burn every time other scratches were created in the same place. At this fact, I was resigned to the fact my clothes were bleeding and torn, as well as the matted hair and bruises on my body. My foot made contact with a tree root and I fell between the others, right in a hole, hitting my head and shoulder in the fall. I scraped my arm too, and my shirt was now full of dirt and dry leaves; surely my hair was the same. I heard heavy footsteps near me and I rolled into a ball in the hole, hiding behind the tree and seeking its protection.

"Find them, we can't let them escape"

Six people broke up and each one ran in a different direction in search of me. For an instant, my heart skipped a beat and my breath hitched when I saw one of them pass by the side of the tree where I was. At no point did he turn towards my location so I was able to breathe again. Minutes passed until I stopped hearing nearby footsteps, I got up leaning against the bark and kept walking inward, finding myself up a steep hill down.

I let gravity guide me and my feet unconsciously ran downward, avoiding rocks and bushes along the way. As I reached the low surface of the hill I tripped over my feet, losing my balance and colliding with a small tree that was right in the middle of where I was walking. As I stood up and turned it around, I came face to face with a Jaegerist, hooded, rifle in hand.

"Hey! You- "

My reflexes acted on instinct, my leg went straight to his ribs, hitting him squarely in the side of his stomach. I grabbed the rifle with both hands and hit it with the butt on both sides of the face and discarded it to the side when blood began to come out of his mouth. My hand went straight to his head, slamming it against the tree over and over again without stopping until his body fell unconscious on the grass. The interaction lasted no more than fifteen seconds, but it felt like I was about to explode. So many blows received and produced were leaving collateral effects on my body; at any moment I would pass out.

During the three years of training I have gotten used to physical confrontation and body training that lasted more than five hours, not to mention the months we spent annihilating each Titan within the walls. Those missions that lasted all day, if not more, were nothing compared to what my body was going through right now.

I sat next to the body, trying to catch my breath and rest my eyes. I rested my head on the tree and when I opened my eyes I saw a black figure in the middle of a grove a few meters away. He didn’t carry a rifle and seemed to have no intention of running to any specific place, he simply deigned to look around him, at the ground and towards the treetops. I froze to see Eren staring down at the body.

I shrank as much as I could to the left, hiding in the middle of the bushes, body to the ground, without taking my eyes off that figure that was now heading towards the unconscious body of one of his followers. I crawled back until I found a tree wide enough to hide.

"I know you are here"

It was the only thing I heard him say. My blood ran cold and a cold sweat began to form on my forehead. I was scared, very scared, I wasn’t going to deny it, but this wasn’t the time to sit and watch how they corner me little by little until they capture me. If this was the moment, I was going to give everything to get out of here. I stood up resolutely, taking a deep breath, and showed my face to my perpetrator.

"Do you want to pick up where we left off?"

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[blxetsi]

Hey u! If you write for Erwin could I maybe request like some fluffy headcanons where they just take care of each other after an expedition? Thank you so much <3

hey you ! ty for requesting this was fun to make 🤩🤚

caring for erwin smith after an expedition headcanons (canonverse)

lowercase intended !

warnings: mentions of death, titans, gore maybe idk ???, female reader kinda ??? idk i didnt use gendered pronouns u decide

enjoy friends 😎🙏,

the ride back was hard.

- everyone always says "it was supposed to be an easy mission !" but this time it really was. which makes it so hard to understand why just so many of your comrades had to die

- you rode back near a wagon filled with bodies, the most abled bodied people were going to be tasked with getting their bodies identified and sorted, then ready to be buried.

- after that, whichever squad leader had those soldiers would have to write to the families, to send a formal apology as well as details of the situation.

- you knew that no matter what, even if there was just one death or a thousand, erwin would have a hefty stack of paperwork to go through

- from writing his own report to looking over others, going through soldier files to order out the deceased ones, and signing any letters that come his way from squad leaders.

- you had your own job to do. although it wasn't identifying bodies, you had to go back to the infirmary with the injured, and work with the doctors and nurses there to try and save the injured.

- your head was filled with names and tallies, who got hit where, how long has this person been passed out, when did we set their dislocated shoulder, they suffered a nasty head laceration, did i ever check their pupils ?

- you and erwin both had a lot on your plates, and you knew you wouldn't be able to see him until hours later, maybe not even until the next day

- and as much as you wanted to go see your fiance, who would be silently beating himself up over this, you couldn't, your responsabilities always came first, just as his did

- so after hours upon hours in the medical hallway, with nurses and doctors flowing from one room from the next, soldiers coming in with gurneys to transport soldiers that had passed, their names already being added to a list of fallen soldiers.

- it was about one in the morning when things finally started to die down. nurses that were tasked with the night shift had been helping greatly, as others were ready to pass out. you'd been employed by the scouts for years, first as a medic, then after almost dying from an abnormal on a mission, retired from the field to become one of the on call doctors at the base, before coming out of your haitus to rejoin your squad. since you had so much experience on and off the field, you could keep going. you were tired, but your body just couldn't stop moving.

- you decides itd be good for a shower, and saw lots of soldiers there with you.

- it was quiet, which wasnt normal but not surprising considering the circumstances. most times in the showers girls would be helping each other braid their hair, or sharing soaps and lotions, chatting about whatever happened that day on base. the boys' showers were usually even more rowdy, youd almost be able to hear them next door.

- you were surprised by just how much blood and dirt came off of you. you didnt feel like you treated or assisted a lot of people today, but maybe thats just because this whole days been a blur. because the showers had been used so frequently you had ice cold water streaming down your body, after soaping down your body, getting into every nook and cranny and line you could, you shut off the water, before wrappy your body in a towel and going to one of the sinks there

- you brushed your hair (which took some time) and brushed your teeth before making your way back to the dorms, where you found some pajamas to change into.

- your roommates were all asleep, two snoring, one not. you knew they were absolutely exhausted, and silently hoped that theyd get to sleep in the next day

- you made your way to the lounge room, finding some stragglers stationed around. two sitting on a couch, one sitting on the ground in front of them, someone at a near by table with a chess board in front of them, and another had come out of the kitchen with some tea.

- you knew walking around was useless, youd just disturb others and could possibly get yourself in trouble. but you couldnt help it. it was just past two in the morning now, and you knew even if you only got an hour of sleep, you were sure to wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare.

- so where do you go ? erwins.

- getting there was easy, you knew this route like the back of your hand. from coming in tk hand him reports from the medical hallway, to sneaking in after curfew for goodnight kisses, making your way to his office was like second nature to you.

- you didnt bother knocking, and he didnt bother looking up at you. he knew only you would dare to interrupt the commander after curfew without identifying yourself, and although he had asked you to knock you absolutely could not.

- you slowly stepped in, your bare feet padding against the squeaking floorboards. you sat in a chair in front of his desk, and simply watched him while he wrote.

- he wasnt in his uniform now, but in pajamas like yourself, you were glad he found the time to shower and change, his hair drying and frizzing up the tiniest bit.

- it was quiet, the only noises you could hear were the scribbling of his pen against paper, and the soft whistling of his nose as he breathed, time blended together until finally he stopped, and simply looked at you.

"my dear, why don't you sleep ?" he asked.

you gave him a soft smile, not noticing until now just how droopy your eyes had become. "because then i wouldn't be able to stare at you, my love." your voice was nothing but a whisper, and with the way the wind howled erratically outside, like it was mourning the fallen with you and everyone else, erwin wouldve missed it.

"you flatter me too much." he replied, his deep voice breaking off at the end.

you two stared like that for a while, just remembering every detail of the other person. the candle light was getting dimmer as the wax kept melting, but the soft glow it gave made all your beauty stand out to erwin. although it was a depressing moment, he still found time to admire just how perfect you looked. he could've lost you today, and he knows that. he stopped vocalizing things like that long ago, as your answer would always be "well you didnt, and you never will !" he didn't need you jinxing yourself like that.

you observed the bags under his eyes while he observed your own. erwin felt worried that youd be all sore and achy, from running around performing medical miracles on his soldiers from afternoon into night. you however, were worried if his shoulders and back were sore, from sitting in the same position, hunched over for hours on end. you knew how easily his muscles tightened, you didn't want him to be in any discomfort, especially after today.

you were the first to look away, staring at one of the candles on his table, watching a race between two wax droplets, trying to see which one would hit the metal candle holder first.

"-my dear ?"

you turned your head back towards your man, giving him a hum of acknowledgment.

"i asked if you were ready to go to sleep, y/n." he repeated. his thick brows furrowed a bit, showcasing some wrinkles he had on his forehead. his eyes showed visible worry in them for you, and you couldn't help but return them.

"will you sleep with me please ?" you whispered. the day had caught up with you, and now the only thing you wanted was for erwin to be safe in your arms as he finally let go of this awful day.

erwin looked down at his work, weighing the actions of his possible decision. you were so sure he would decline, while sending you off back to your dorm to ensure you didn't bother him. you could feel your eyes fill with tears, erwins being becoming blurry. you couldnt conceal the whimper that left your mouth, clamping your hand against it to muffle anything else. your head turned down into your lap, while you felt hot tears hit your pajama bottoms.

erwin wordlessy got up, before moving to your side. you tried to protest but you couldn't take your hand away from your lips, afraid youd let out a sob.

the blond put one arm under your knees, while the other took your right hand and slung it around his shoulders. he let out a quiet grunt as he picked you up, before nuzzling your head into his neck as he made his way into his bedroom, which was connected to his office.

it was a small room, but there was a big bed that could probably fit quite a few people. he slowly sat you down on the edge, which was his side of the bed. pulling away he got on his knees in front of you, rubbing up and down your arms.

you gripped his shoulders as you gasped for breath. "you- you can't leave me. please erwin i- you have to stay." you sobbed, trying to pull him closer by his shirt.

he shushed you quietly, urging you to lay back as he pulled the covers away, he tucked you in silently, wiping your cheeks and forehead before joining you on the other side.

his pillow smelled like him, and you turned your head to breathe it in better, needing erwin and his comfort.

pulling the covers up around his waist, he leaned into your touch, your arms coming out to wrap around his shoulders. you pulled him into your chest, and you rubbed his back with one hand while the other cradled his head to your beating heart.

he didn't offer you any words of comfort, erwin knew that it wasnt what you needed right now. you didn't need reassurance, or promises that could be broken, you just needed him. and he would fully give himself over to you if he could.

your cries had died down until all you did was sniffle and let out the occasional shaky breath, and erwin found it a bit odd that instead of needing to be nurtured, youd need to nuture to feel better. instead of feeling protected, you needed to feel like you could protect to calm yourself.

slowly but surely you recovered, until all that was left were puffy eyes and soft sighs.

erwin tried to push himself up, to face you, but you pushed him back into your chest, making him chuckle slightly. you continued to rub his back, feeling his shoulder blades and muscle, and around his neck too. you kept your nose in his hair, no doubt getting snot in it but you knew right now erwin didnt care. you breathed in his shampoo while carding your hand through the short strands.

the commander would be lying if he said this didn't help him too. just a bit of alone time with the one he loved, being held the way a parent would cradle their child. he truly felt at peace in these moments with you, he felt warm and safe in your embrace. he wasn't a leader anymore, he wasn't a soldier. right now he was just a man, being held in the arms of the person he absolutely adored. and that was enough for him. because you would always be enough for him.

he whispered out your name, only hearing a soft hum in reply. he glanced up at you to see your head against the pillow, your eyes closed. he smiled before kissing your collarbone.

"i love you, my dear."

thats it !!! i hope you enjoyed !! love u all, requests r open ❤️❤️❤️

[mackenziebrooks]

Stay

Summary: the reader is a pro-hero who happens to show up at villain Bakugou’s doorstep severely injured from a villain attack. 

Pairing: Villain Katsuki Bakugou x reader 

Word count: 2248

Warnings: angst, slight cussing, talks about dying, emotional, slight possessive, 

A/N: Here is another Bakugou fic that I happened to create. Decide to make Bakugou a villain but have some deep love and protection for his significant other. This is a fic that I created but felt like it wasn’t any good, so I gave up on posting it. I hope it is good and you guys enjoy it. :)

———————————————————————

Running, it was all that you could do to get away from the villain attack that had just occurred. 

The attack had separated you from the rest of the pro-heroes that were called to handle the situation. You fought as hard as you could till you couldn’t anymore. Villains were still continuing to join the fight, wanting to get rid of any pro-heroes that were left. Without getting noticed, you took shelter to try and find help. You spoke into your wrist communicator, asking “Deku? Shouto? Can anyone hear me?”, and all you could hear was just static. Meaning your communication with those two was no longer in session.

You yelled “ Damn it!”, then winced after expressing your emotions. Since you were very injured. You remove yourself from your hiding spot and bolt down the alley. Hoping to find some help along the way. Slowly your pace started to die down and you couldn’t run anymore. All you could do was walk, with pain increasing on every step. Blood gushed from your arm and the side of your head. Your body ached from the cuts and bruises it received from the fight. Hell, you didn’t know half the injuries you received, since you were in a panic state. All you wanted was to find someone or somewhere to feel safe. 

It started to rain and made your night even worse. Looking around, you tried to figure out your surroundings. You saw the street sign and instantly walked down the dark street to the third house on the left. It may look like a house, but it was secretly a lair. A lair for a villain that you knew all too well. Carefully, you made sure that no one was following you. No heroes and no villains. The villain you were going to see, strictly forbidden it. Because he wanted to be kept secret from the world.

You made it up to the steps and knocked on the door slowly. Hoping that he was home and that he wasn't out somewhere causing trouble. Hope he wasn’t the one that caused the attack and your injuries. The door slowly opened and a person came into view, but it wasn’t who you wanted to see. It was the next person in line. It was Eijirou Kirishima. 

Kirishima blinked a couple of times and spoke “ Y/N? What are you doing here?!?” He was completely horrified by how you looked. He may look bad with his scars, but this was not even close to his. You were standing here shaking and wet from the rain. Your hero suit was torn but still kept your lady parts hidden. Blood covered your entire body. This was a massacre.

You stood there trembling and asked “ W-w-where is Bakugou?”, pressing your hand into the deep cut upon your arm. Trying to keep yourself from not losing any more blood. 

Kirishima replied “ He’s out looking for you. Once he knew it was your crew and you. He admittedly went out. He took Denki and Sero with him’’. Kirishima opened the door more so that you could get into the house. As you made your way into the house, you slowly started to sway a little bit. From the blood loss and from being cold. On the next step you took, you were heading for the floor. Kirishima acted quickly and caught you, then he yelled '’ Mina!! Help!! Please It’s Y/N!!!” 

Mina rushed in and was just as horrified as Kirishima was. Mina picked you up as Kirishima said “ Get her to the infirmary room and hurry!! We can’t lose her!!’’ Mina didn’t reply back to him and she did what she was told to do. She rushed you to the infirmary room and started getting to work. She hooked you up to an oxygen tank and got all the fluids that you needed.

Since becoming a villain, Mina started to learn everything there was to know about being a doctor. Someone with brains in this group needed to get the gang back up on their feet when they got injured. Mina worked and worked on you as hard as she could, your heart rate would go so low that she would tell you “ Come on Y/N! Do not give up on me now! I need you to stay with me, please. Stay for the sake of Bakugou please!” Even with you being passed out, his name would always help you gain some strength to hold on more.

Kirishima paced back and forth, waiting for Bakugou and the other two to return home. Kirishima didn’t want to be the one to tell him the news, but he was the closest friend to Bakugou. The door opened up and it was slammed shut. Meaning, the blonde was home. Bakugou walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Denki and Sero walked away with their heads down, they couldn’t find you. 

Bakugou ran his hands through his hair, he was trying so hard to not let his frustrations out. Though he was so close to doing it. He couldn’t find his girl and he searched everywhere that he could think of. Bakugou said “ God damn it! Where the hell is she!”, as he screamed up at the ceiling. Kirishima bit his lip and wanted to tell his leader to calm down. Since Mina was operating on you, and she needed the house to be quiet.

Kirishima asked “ You couldn’t locate her with her tracker?’’, looking over at his friend. Bakugou replied “ No I couldn’t! Somehow it malfunctioned while she was fighting. Because it only shows her last location. I couldn’t even find the stupid nerd or that damn half and half bastard”. Bakugou knew you would never leave the sights of Deku or Todoroki, so he knew that this attack was big. He needed to find you and find you soon.

Kirishima could not keep the secret to himself anymore, he had to tell Bakugou that you were here. Before he could, Bakugou stood up and headed for the door once again. Kirishima asked “ Where the hell are you going now?”, Bakugou said, “ I’m going to go look again. I do not care if I get caught by Deku and Icy-hot. I’m going to find my girl”. Bakugou put a foot out the door just as Kirishima grabbed his arm.

Kirishima spoke, “ Wait! Bakugou you need to go look in the infirmary first”. Bakugo jerked his arm from his red-headed friend and turned around. He said, “ Why should I? Just tell Mina to fix herself and whoever up. Then those low lives can get the fuck out of my house”. Kirishima bawled his fits up and looked down. Kirishima spoke softly “ It isn’t Mina and it isn’t some low life”. Kirishima slowly raised his head up with tears filling up his eyes, then said “ It’s Y/N Bakugou”.

Bakugou stood there in complete silence, just staring up at his shark tooth comrade. Bakugou didn’t even give Kirishima time to explain anything. Bakugou raced towards the infirmary, only wanting to see you. Once he got there, the note on the door said “ Medical personnel in operation”. Bakugou screamed, “ No no no!!! Alien let me fucking in!! Please!!”. He slid down the wall and put himself in the fetal position. 

Kirishima had followed Bakugou and stopped. Kirishima bent down to a knee and tried to help calm his friend down. Bakugou the entire time had tears streaming down his face, but he wasn’t going to lift his face up. Bakugou wasn’t the type to let out his emotions. He always kept them bottled up to himself, he didn’t always tell you what was wrong. He knew he needed to let these out. For the sake of your life. Bakugou said, “ Y/N, stay please. Please stay with me. I can’t lose you”.

It didn’t take long and the door opened up. Mina walked out and looked over at the two boys. Kirishima and Bakugo both looked up at her. Bakugou wiped his face and stood up quickly. He grabbed her shoulders and asked, “ Do not tell me she is fucking gone! Tell me she is still here!!”. Kirishima gently pulled Bakugou off and said “Easy buddy easy”. Bakugou did some breathing and tried to keep it together. Mina knew he was going to be in this state and she spoke “ Yes Bakugou, Y/N is still here but, she barely made it”. 

Bakugou pushed past Mina and walked into the room. You were sleeping peacefully and finally were safe. Bakugou slowly made his way over and took your hand into his. He placed kisses onto your forehead and leaned his head against yours. Bakugo spoke through his break down “ I’m so sorry y/n. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to keep you safe”, placing more kisses on your forehead. 

Bakugou sat in the chair next to your bed and asked “ What are her injuries raccoon eyes?” He may have let them see his face and tears earlier, but he wasn’t going to take his eyes off of you. Mina grabbed the clipboard and spoke, “ She has stitches in her right inner forearm, some in the side of her head. Cracked and bruised ribs on both sides. A sprained ankle. Bruising and cuts all over her body. Plus blood loss”. Bakugou winced at hearing all of the injuries that you had suffered. It was going to be a long recovery for you.

Mina spoke, “ I took the tracker out of her left wrist so that we could fix it”. Bakugou nodded and knew that he needed to tell you about the tracker that he had put in you. He knew you may be mad at him for it, but he didn’t care. Was it possessive of him to do it? Bakugou would say yes it was. Because he wanted to always make sure that you were safe and sound. That no one else was making his girl theirs. If they were, it was going to be hell to pay. 

Mina walked out of the room and shut the door behind her. Bakugou sat there and just stared at you. He was trying his best not to have another breakdown. Because he knew he had to be the strong one till you were able to regain your strength back. 

You coughed and slowly opened your eyes, you spoke “ K- Katsuki?”. Bakugou's eyes went wide and he quickly squeezed your hand. He even started to smooth your hair back, while saying “ Yeah it’s me princess. I’m here. You’re safe now”. He didn’t care that you called him by his first name, he was just glad that he was able to hear your sweet voice. You raised your hand and placed it on his cheek. You felt your villain boyfriend’s tears hit your hand. You spoke “ I’m- i'm sorry” while letting your own tears fall. Bakugou kissed your lips and said, “ Don’t be sorry my little hero, it wasn’t your fault. Please get some rest. I’ll be back okay? I’ll see if we can move you into our room”. 

You grabbed his arm and shook your head. You spoke “Please don’t go. Please do not leave me alone!”, with more tears streaming. Bakugou looked into your eyes and saw the absolute fear that they had. He knew what had happened must have put a huge impact on you. Bakugou spoke “ Princess I have…..”, but he didn’t finish his sentence. 

You turn away and face the other side of the room. You said, “ Right...because you have to”. Bakugou swallowed his pride and let a breath out. His anger wanted to be unleashed but not right now. Bakugou spoke to himself “ Not now Katsuki. Not when she is in a state like this”. Bakugou slowly climbed into the hospital bed with you and held you close. Not enough to hurt you. You turned over and cuddled up to him as he stroked your hair. Bakugou spoke, “ I’m not going to leave you, you asked me not to so I will stay. I’m not going to let you out of my sight princess”. 

Bakugo slowly pulled his phone out and sent a group text to the gang. The text said, “ I’m going to be out of commission for a while. My duties are to care of Y/n, that’s what I am going to do. If you need me just text. If it is more serious then come get me. I’m not leaving Y/n’s side”. He put his phone back in his pocket and started to hum softly. He hoped that it would help you calm down some. Bakugou said, “ It will all be okay princess, I’m going to take care of you. You're going to stay here and live a beautiful life with me. I love you so much Y/N”. 

[levis-hazelnut]

Levi x Reader Hate At First Sight

Summary: after hearing about you getting into a fight with some Military Police, Erwin and Levi go to try and enlist you as a scout, much to Levi’s dismay. Though, after some months spent there, you found yourself to be disliked by many scouts.

(a/n: look at my baby his side profile he’s so beautiful. also i do not hate petra it’s just for the sake of the fic so please don’t @ me lmao)

You gripped your knees, your back hunched while your chest rose and sank as you tried to catch your breath. The reason you were running was that moments ago, some men tried to molest you. Though you were able to beat them down, you obviously didn't want to stay around that area of filthy MPs. Yes, they were everywhere, but that particular place isn't somewhere where you should be late in the evening. Only whores would walk around there. And you definitely aren't one of them. You may have the face and figure of one, but you would never stoop to that level just to get money and to pleasure foul men who treat women as objects. It's good that you're poor because then you have loose clothes that don't make your curvaceous body show. Walking at a slower pace, you made your way to your 'home' which was just a place behind a store, which had sacks piled on top of each other, making it comfortable enough to sleep there rather than the gelid ground. And to be able to get the owner to let you stay there, you had a massive dispute that caused you to get attention to yourself and you were on the verge of pulling out the blade you keep in your boot. But now, you are on good terms with him.

A lot of the friends you had didn't remain with you because of your temper. Or they would have been caught by the Military Police. Either way, you don't have any of your past friends. Hey, it's not your fault you would go out of control at any time, sometimes for no reason. Well, it is your fault but you didn't make yourself this way, so tell that to whatever god is up there.

You plopped down onto the stack of sacks, staring up at the midnight blanket, where stars sparkled in and the gleaming moon gazed down at you. As you rested your head on your arm and your other arm laid across your torso, your stomach slightly grumbled from being deprived of food. Sighing, you jumped up, heading inside the shop you laid behind. Thankfully, it was a small restaurant. As you walked in, the owner glanced at you with a frown. "(Y/N), it's closing time. Why are you coming in now?" You put a hand to your stomach. "Don't tell me. It's my hollow stomach." "Here." He chucked you a whole loaf of bread and an apple. "Now, leave. I've got to clean up." "Thanks.” Sitting back down, you threw the apple up in the air and caught it in your left hand as you ate the bread. After finishing the food, you relaxed and closed your eyes, so you could escape from the life you have and dream about living somewhere else, somewhere cosy, somewhere warm and more home-like. And maybe even someone you could spend your life with without them leaving you because of your fierceness or dying. ~/~ "Corporal Levi?" "What?" aforementioned person replied with an exasperated sigh. "Commander Erwin said he needs to talk to you." "Tch. Okay." He walked away with profanities soaring through his mind, wanting to just go to his office and avoid people that were getting on his nerves. Stepping into the Commander's office, he crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall after shutting the door. "What do you want?" The Commander gestured to a chair in front of him so the other male could sit down and he could inform him of the situation. "A while ago, in Wall Sina, there was a woman who got in a fight with a few Military Police and took off with ODM gear. She isn’t a soldier or anything, so she most likely hadn't handled gear before, but she was able to use it with ease, meaning she's someone skilled." "So?" "We need to go get her to enlist as a scout." "Tch. Why? She already sounds shitty and bratty." "We're going tonight, Levi." He stood up and left the office, clicking his tongue. All he wanted was to avoid people and now, he has to go get some bitch who probably doesn't even know how to wipe their ass. An hour, or so, ago... A group of four Military Police surrounded you, all of them having smug expressions that made you want to punch them in their faces... and then their balls. You wouldn't let them get away with only a punch to the face. Who do they think you are? A princess? You steal some gear thingy, that looked intriguing to you, from one of them and suddenly you're the bad guy? These idiots think they can beat you as well. You could just laugh. "Do you really think you can beat me?" you chuckled. You did just laugh. "We don't want to hurt you, darlin'. Just give us back the gear." "Who said you can call me darlin'?" you snarled and fly kicked one of them. He ended up slamming against the building behind him, sliding down the wall, knocked out. You charged at another, kicking their crotch and punching the top of his head as he dropped onto the ground with a thud.

Two more left... One of them came towards you with their fist drawn back to punch you with a force meant to harm you but you caught their fist and twisted their arm, pushing it towards their chest as they let out a cry of pain. You thrust your foot at his abdomen as he held his arm, groaning.

"Are you really going to try and beat me?" The last one only smirked, approaching you, so you pulled out the blades from the equipment you took from him and pressed it to his neck. He froze on the spot and gulped, cold sweat appeared on his flesh and dropped with a patter on the ground. "I'm going to give you five seconds to take your comrades and get your asses out of here." You put the blade back into its place and watched the panicking man pick up the other dirty humans and hurry away, not wanting to wait to see what you would do after five seconds. Ignoring the people gawking at you, you dusted your clothes before figuring out how to use the gear to head to your favourite shop, wanting something to drink. You were able to do it with ease, flying through the doors and swiftly landing on your feet. The bell rang to notify people that someone came in.

You sat on your table. Yes, it was your table and all the regulars knew that after seeing you pound a man for taking your table. Ever since then, no one has sat at that table apart from the drunk idiots who want your attention or people that haven't been to this place yet. It was near the window and it had the sofa seat so you would lean your back against the window, stretching your legs across the seat. You placed the equipment you took on the table.

"Oi, Luis," you called to the owner, and he looked at you from where he was at the counter. "The usual." He nodded at you and proceeded to make you your black tea with no sugar. After about five minutes, he placed the cup of tea in front of you as you handed him some money you were able to 'earn', paying him for the food he gave you the last few days as well. But you always got a discount so it wasn't too much of a problem for you to stea-- earn a bit of dough. "Hi, (Y/N)~" Yay, another drunken fool trying to hit on you. You rolled your eyes, disregarding his presence that sat opposite you as you drank your tea. He was saying shit you weren't listening to. But, seriously, who gets drunk during the day? He's probably just another jerk whose wife ran away from and took most of his money or something like that. All these snobby, egotistic people, who live within Wall Sina, piss you off to the extent that you want to make sure that their pained screams reach Wall Rose, so that those citizens would know what would happen if they pissed you off. "Hey, idiot, I'm going to give you three seconds to get out of my sight," you growled. All he did was smirk and lean over the table, trying to get closer to you. You punched him the middle of his face, but it didn't look like he could feel it. You stood up and dragged him off the seat, kicking him over and over as he laid on the sparkling, marble floor. "Hey, hey, hey!!" Luis jogged up to you. "(Y/N), you need to stop beating up my customers! Soon, you'll be my only customer." "Tell this bastard to get the fuck out and leave me alone, then." "I can't kick someone out for you." "Tch." You trudged out of the shop, wandering around the streets, hiding from any MPs that walked past, so you could evade another fight since you weren't in the mood for any action. "Hey, (Y/N)!" "Moritz," you greeted as he came up to you. "I haven't seen you in a while." "Just trying to stay away from any bastards. So, get away from me," you joked to which he chuckled softly. "My offer still stands... I'd like a daughter like you." "Sorry, Moritz. Leon isn't my type." "My son is in love with you. He's a kind and soft lad and if I'm being fair, he's handsome." "Exactly. That isn't my type. I want someone strong, feisty and someone able to handle my temper and maybe get into heated arguments with me. But of course, I want someone attractive." Several hours later... "Levi, are you ready?" "Yes." The stoic man let out a heavy breath and proceeded to leave his office, following the tall blonde. They both got their gear before leaving the building and entering a carriage waiting for them. "Why is this brat special? There are so many cadets that can use ODM gear." "As I said before, she isn’t a soldier and was able to use it without practice." "What's her name?" "(Y/N) (L/N)." The rest of the journey was quiet, only a few words of what they were going to do and the occasional click of the tongue because of how long the trip was. Finally, they arrived in front of a classy restaurant and it was filled with people due it being the evening when couples go there. You shimmied past the couples all dressed up in fancy clothes and you were able to make it out of it. Looking back over your shoulder, you rolled your eyes before frowning when you saw two men standing in front of you. You crossed your arms over your chest and arched an eyebrow. "Look, I took your friend's gear hours ago. Why are you still chasing after me? It's not that big of a deal." "Are you (Y/N) (L/N)?" the taller male asked. "... Yes. What do you want?" "May I see the gear you were talking about?" "Are you going to take it?" "No." "Okay. Follow me." You walked to your pile of sacks, expecting them to be behind you but they were in their place. "You coming or what?" They slowly approached you, wary of their surroundings. "What is this place?" the stoic male questioned, clearly disgusted. "Welcome to my humble abode." You ignored his criticism. You looked about for the gear but you couldn't find it, that's when you realised that you had left it in the restaurant. You hoped that no one took it. You sighed and looked into the restaurant, telling the two males where you left it, so they dismissed you, allowing you to get it and they followed you but waited outside. You opened the door, pushing people out of the way. "Move out the way, you fucking arrogant idiots," you muttered. You looked around your table where a couple sat but you didn't care since you weren't going to sit there and there wasn't any other space. You frowned when you didn't see it. Who the fuck took it? ... Oh, they did. There were two men and a woman on a table with the gear in front of them as they all put their nasty hands on it. The woman was drunk and holding a wine glass filled with a red liquid, one of the men was smoking and the other had a beer. You barged through the crowd, striding to their table. "Excuse me. This is mine." You tried taking it, but the man closest to you stopped you from doing that as he stood up, coming closer to you so you backed away. You could smell the cigarettes emitting from him as you held your breath at the foul smell. "Now, why would I let you take this without anything in return?" "Tch. Give it before I prevent you from having kids." "I wouldn't mind having a baby with a gal like you." "Get your breath out of my face. And give it to me. I swear, I'll knock you down so you won't be able to get up ever again," you grumbled. "I like my women feisty." You punched his left cheek and he stumbled back into his seat as you picked up the gear, turning around to face the entrance but all you saw was more people entering. Okay, you didn't care anymore. You swiped a man and stepped on him to get closer to the door but a woman came in your way, her boobs blocking your way. You slid through what little space there was and jumped over a short person, enabling you to exit and go back to the two men outside. The one with blue eyes looked surprised as you passed him the material. "That was impressive." "What?" "How you got past all those people." "Eh, it was nothing." "Anyway, are you able to use this properly?" "Yes. It isn't that hard." "Can you show me your skills with it?" "Why? Wait... how do you even know my name? Who are you people?" you inquired after realisation hit you. "I'm Commander Erwin Smith and this is Corporal Levi Ackerman. We're from the Scout Regiment and we heard that you got into a fight with some MPs and you were able to easily use this so I wanted to see your skills and see if you're worthy of becoming a scout." "Why would I want to join you? All of you are stupid to leave the walls to fight titans. I don't want to become like you. And there are a lot who don't even know how to fight and I don't want to fight with morons,” you responded. "Yes, I don't have a great life but it's better than risking it to go do something stupid. I don't care if you're the Commander and he's Humanity's Strongest Soldier, I'm not becoming a scout." "Tch. We don't do something stupid, we fight for humanity. You only fight to get away from trouble. I don't know why we have to save the likes of you but we do and we don't do it because we want to, we do it because we have to. And they may be idiots, but they're damn good soldiers who shouldn't be ill spoken about by someone like you," Levi growled lowly, venom laced in his words. 'Someone like you', who does this fucking midget think he is? You were probably around his height but women are generally shorter than men. You narrowed your eyes and proceeded to thrust your fist at his face but he dodged it before headbutting you. He punched your nose, causing it to bleed and he struck your gut straight after. He threw punches at you, one after another, until you had enough, bringing your leg up to kick the side of his head. He put his hand there, weakening the blow, and grabbed your ankle, slamming you down onto the stone ground. You felt slightly dizzy but you shook it off, standing up immediately, ramming your knuckles into his face and you tried to trip him over but he kept his balance. After punches being thrown and both of you being beaten up, to finish the fight off, he slid behind you and twisted your arm behind your back, stepping on your foot as his other hand held your wrist by your side. You tried shaking him off, but it was futile. He twisted your arm more, getting a quiet hiss of pain from you. "You may be able to beat up some useless MPs but we, at the Scout Regiment, are nothing like them. You better think twice before you try to fight with me." "Thank you, Le--" Erwin started but was cut off. "(Y/N)?" a gentle voice uttered, and you turned your head towards it. "What are you doing here, Leon?" "I-I came here to see you..." he shyly said, his ginger hair hiding his emerald eyes as he gazed at the ground where blood trailed. "What's happening? Who are these men?" He looked back up with concern pooling in his orbs. "It's nothing. Do you want to talk about something?" "It can wait. It looks like you have to deal with something." "Oi, get off of me. I won't try to put up a fight, or run away." "I don't trust you." You clicked your tongue and lifted your foot up to kick his groin but he wrapped his leg around yours so you weren't able to strike him. "Can I not talk to him?" you snapped. "Levi, let her go." "Idiot," you murmured loud enough so he was able to hear but he didn't say anything. You walked up to the boy. "Leon, I don't think you should tell me anything important because I don't know if I'm going to be able to see you after today. They're from the Survey Corps and they want to enlist me. I don't want to go, but it looks like they're going to force me." "But--" You could see the tears welling up in his pretty eyes. "I love you, (Y/N)." "I know. But that's how it is. Sorry." You didn't sound sorry at all, your tone was your usual dull, yet harsh one, but you genuinely did feel a bit of compassion for him. After two years of trying to get you to be his wife, you're going to leave his life without leaving any feelings for him. He was a gentleman and you liked him, however, not as a lover or whatever, he was just delightful to have around. You didn't want to leave him like this so you embraced him, gently rubbing his back and whispering a few words. "Will you ever come back?" "I don't know. It's a high possibility that I won't." "If you do, will you marry me then?" "We'll have to see," you smiled; it was the first smile you ever let break out onto your lips since you were around ten. "Tch. Why did I come to see this?" "Shut up, Levi. Just be glad that you'll have a valuable soldier on your side." A scowl replaced your smile. He scoffed. "We've got plenty of useful soldiers, including myself." "I might see you later, Leon. Bye." "Bye, (Y/N)." He took your hand and softly kissed it. And with that, you left the boy in heartbreak and started a new life as a scout after showing them your skills, which Levi scoffed at so you backhanded him. On the way to headquarters, you and Levi sat opposite each other and argued as Erwin silently sat there, wishing for the ride to be over. Since the journey was long and it was around midnight, you had fallen asleep after some time, allowing peace to settle into the carriage. Once you reached HQ, Erwin stepped out and stood by the carriage, waiting for you and Levi to get off. "Oi, brat, get up." Levi tried to awake you. "Brat, wake up." "Who you calling brat?" you asked tiredly, failing to convey your irritation. "You. Now, shut up and get out." "Tch. Don't go telling me what to do, Ackerman," you muttered angrily, too tired to put up a fight. All three of you entered the building and coincidentally, you were walking next to Levi, starting another argument so Erwin walked in between the both of you, leading you to his office, while Levi went to his.

"Take a seat, (Y/N),” he told you. "This is the key to your room. We'll fill out the paperwork and do everything tomorrow. For now, just go sleep and I'll tell you all you need to know tomorrow." "Whatever." You left his office after he told you the directions to your room and you went there, finding a single bed with a bedside table that had a lit lantern. The first thing you wanted to do was have a shower since you felt sweaty from all the action you had today. Once you showered, you went straight to bed, snuggling into the blanket, able to have a good night's sleep for once in ages. ~/~ After changing into your uniform, you looked at your reflection. It fit you very well but you didn't want it to. You don't like showing your curves, but it's not that you feel insecure with people looking, you just don't like it. You don't want your body to be the thing that attracts people and you don't want people coming after you because of your alluring figure. With no hesitation, you would punch anyone that tries to touch you. As you were told to, you went to Erwin's office before breakfast started, ignoring the gazes that were focused on your form. You rolled your eyes as you stepped into his office, slamming the door behind you. "Gosh, these idiots don't know how to keep their eyes in their sockets." You turned your head to the door, not noticing Erwin's cerulean eyes on you. He blinked to break himself out of his daze and cleared his throat as he gestured to the seat in front of him. You sat down casually, not caring about being formal. "Sit up, (Y/N)." "Tch." "Sit up," he repeated. "You shouldn't disobey your superiors." You sighed and did as he said. "Happy?" "I've got these papers for you to sign," he told you as he handed a few sheets. "And these papers have information that you'll need to know but I'm going to go through it with you. I'm going to put you in Hanji's command..." After about half an hour, you were able to leave his office and make it for breakfast. You entered the mess hall with him and grabbed some food, sitting down on an empty table since you have yet to get to know these people and you thought that people would come up to you first. "Who is she?" "Mmm~ Look at that ass." "Look at those boobs." "You lot are pervs." "You only say that because you have Krista." "Yeah, and she's better than whoever that woman is." "I think she's pretty." "She's certainly not ugly." "Eren?" "Mikasa, do you not say anything else?" "Eren?" "What?" "Stop ogling her." "I-I wasn't." "Yeah, right, Jaeger. Wipe the drool from your mouth." "I'm the one drooling? You look like you have rabies." "You want to take this outside?" "Both of you, stop being children." You glanced at the table making the most noise and saw that all ten of them were looking in your way. Some averted their eyes as others smiled at you, however, you gave a cold stare in return before looking back at your food. It wasn’t exactly intentional to look at them like that, it's basically just your usual expression. "Did you see that?" "She may be pretty, but she's rude." "Who does she think she is? Looking at us like that." "I didn't see what happened." "Of course you didn't. You were too busy stuffing your face with food." "I think we should go talk to her." "Yeah, teach her a lesson." "Guys, sit down. You can't do that do a new person." "Yeah, guys, what's wrong with you?... Wait like a week, then you can teach her a lesson." "Jean! Don't encourage them!" "Oi, you lot?" You stood at their table, their heads turning your way as they had just noticed that you were there. "If you try to beat me up, you'll be s-- What the hell are you doing?!" you yelled at the person on your left who just touched your ass. "Feeling your ass," he stated nonchalantly. "You people are pervs. I agree with whoever that it is." "Whoever that it is, is Ymir," said girl inserted. They all introduced themselves to you but you couldn't be any less interested. "Okay, whatever. I don't give a shit about who you are. I came here to tell you that if you, Eren, Ymir, Jean and Reiner, try to beat me up, you'll be sorry. And I don't understand, do you want to grope my ass or beat it, Reiner?" "Who said I can't do both?" he smirked as you rolled your eyes, about to go back to your table. "Wait, (Y/N). Why don't you sit with us?" "So I can get harassed? No, thanks." "Just sit with us. We promise we won’t do anything," Jean told you. With slight reluctance, you got your plate from the other table and sat on the end of the table next to Armin, everyone focused on you as you spoke about your life before you came here.

At times, you would notice brown eyes belonging to a strawberry-blonde girl and grey eyes belonging to a raven man flutter towards you, but every time you looked up, they pretended as if they weren't staring at you. You could feel their glares burn into you. And you knew Levi's stare was of anger, but what was that girl's problem? ~/~ You wore a vest top and shorts, training with Reiner who volunteered to, probably just so he could see you with fewer clothes on. It's been going on for the past few weeks. You were a bit distracted during training because you felt as if someone was watching you and they were giving off a dark aura. You looked around but couldn't find anyone. "(Y/N), are you okay?" "Yeah. Come on." You waited for him to attack you and he did but you were able to knock him down before you saw the cause of the dark aura in the distance. "Hey, you!" you shouted, going towards them. "Do you have something to say to me?" You crossed your arms over your chest. "No. Nothing at all." She clenched her jaw. "You're Petra, right?" "Yeah. Actually, I do want to tell you something, you stay away from Corporal Levi," she growled, scrunching your vest in her fist. "Woah, Petra! What are you doing to (Y/N)?" Reiner jogged up to the two of you. Damn, now you can't beat the crap out of her. She let go of you and put on a bright smile, facing Reiner who knew that that smile was fake. "Nothing. I was just giving her some advice about making friends." "We need to train so leave us alone," Reiner took your arm protectively and dragged you away, but you protested. "Wait. I'll train with Petra today," you smirked devilishly. "No." "Oi, Petra! How about you spar with me?" "... Why?" "Just." You shrugged. "Sure," she agreed when she saw Levi come outside of the building, taking the chance to get his attention. You knew she wasn't strong enough for her to beat you, so this wouldn't end well for her. You both got into a fighting stance, before you threw your fist forward at her face, but you stopped just before you hit her so she dodged the potential blow and wasn't able to elude the kick you gave at her side. She was about to topple over but she caught herself, not letting you be victorious just yet. She attempted to punch your gut but you blocked it by making a cross over yourself. A crowd formed around you two, including the Corporal that Petra seemed obsessed about. But, of course, with his short stature, he wasn't able to see who exactly was fighting, so he pushed people out of the way, able to reach the front and see you and Petra. She tried to trip you over but that failed miserably and she fell flat on her face. A few from the huddle snickered quietly as others applauded even though it wasn't a real win. You crouched down and whispered, "Good luck in impressing that stubborn idiot." You got back up, grabbed your uniform and walked off, ignoring Levi who called for you. "Hanji!" you called to get her attention as she strolled through the castle. "Yes?" "Does Petra like Levi or something?" "I think so, yes. Why are you asking?" "During my training, she was watching me and she said to stay away from him. We got into a small fight which quickly ended because of her stupidity. I'm guessing the only reason this happened is that she's jealous. But she's moronic if she thinks that I would try to move to Levi." "Who's moronic?" a familiar voice spoke from behind you. You turned around. "Petra. Why the fuck would she think that I like you? You're bothersome, you're stubborn, you're irritating, you're an ass, you annoy the hell out of me and you're a bastard." "Thanks," he replied sarcastically. "The same can be said about you." "Tch. Shut it, Ackerman." "You know, you have a temper problem. And you shouldn't talk to me like that." "This is who I am. I can talk to you in any way I like." "You might not be able to talk after I knock your teeth out," he threatened with a glare. "I'm not scared of you." "We'll see about that," he muttered before walking away. "And put some clothes on." "What did you do to Shorty to make him so angry with you?" "I called soldiers stupid. Got in a fight with him. We've argued a lot of times." "Oof. I would have advised you to stay on his good side." "Too late." You shrugged. "It won't last long. He'll soften up after some time." "I don't think he will. Whatever, I need to go 'put some clothes on'." "Okay. Can I borrow you after for help with experiments?" Hanji asked slowly, hoping you wouldn't yell at her like last time, saying how you didn't give a sh*t about it. "No," you bluntly said as you left her, going to your room but was stopped by an annoying figure who you rolled your eyes at. "Looking good, (Y/N)." "Shut up." "You look a little dirty, want to have a shower with me?" You grabbed Jean's collar and brought your face close to his, a glare etched on your visage as you saw his Adam's apple move down and then back into its place as he gulped. "Shut the hell up and I'll let this one time slide." He nodded and scurried off once you let you go of him, entering your room and locking the door behind you. You decided to shower since you were covered in sweat and you felt nasty. ~/~ "Eurgh, look who it is," a voice whispered a little too loud as you entered the mess hall for breakfast, striding to your usual table with a few of people that you don't mind being around and the few that aren't annoying you or bothering you in any way. "She doesn't belong here." "You know, I heard that before she came here she worked in a brothel." "Everyday, she wears her vest top and short shorts, acting like a slut." "The other day, she was being a bitch to me. She laughed at my figure when I was looking in my reflection. Then, she said that no one would love me when I have a body like this." "I've heard that she's flirted with every man she's had contact with." This has been going on for at least three months: people making fun of you, talking about you, pushing you about, calling you names and such. You haven't taken any of it to heart, but you wondered what happened to make nearly everyone despise you. Everyone but superiors and the ten scouts you had befriended first, and even though Levi dislikes you, he doesn't contribute to the crowd that is being cruel to you. He already hated you from the start. "They're still going at it?" "Forget about them," Erwin told you. "How can I when they're practically saying it to me? All of what they're saying isn't even true. And they shouldn't try to start a fight with me because I'll beat the sh*t out of them." "Well, you are a bitch, so that's true," Levi murmured. "Ackerman, I suggest you shut up before I beat the shit out of you." You rammed your heel into his foot under the table since you were opposite him. "Tch. You should be happy that some of us aren't part of those dumb brats." "Dumb?" you repeated. "So, you're saying that they're dumb for saying all that stuff about me?" "... No... They're stupid in general." "Mhm." "What was that?" He frowned. "What?" "That 'mhm'." "Nothing." After staring at each other questioningly, you both went quiet as the other superiors on your table carried on their own conversations. Halfway through breakfast, you felt something cold and wet being poured onto your head, soaking your shirt and falling down your shirt which sent a shiver through you. You stood up and turned around to the laughing bastards, kicking the boy in the nuts and slapping the girl which shut them up. "What the fuck is your problem?! What did I do to you?!" "Someone decided to go braless today," the girl whispered to the other. You looked down and felt your cheeks growing red, out of rage and embarrassment. Something landed on your head and hung over your chest. You realised that it was a cape that Levi threw at you, which you wrapped around yourself before heading to your room to change out of the drenched clothes that you had just changed into. "Why the hell are you doing this? Yeah, she can be a brat, but all of you are, so I don't know why you lot are acting like this towards her when she didn't do anything. Both of you have kitchen duty for two months. If I see you one of you two do anything to her, you won't see the end of it." "Yes, sir." "Now, get the hell out of my face," Levi ordered as he sat back down in his seat, the others on the table looking at him with surprise. Who knew he would stand up for you like that? "What are you looking at?" "How come you stood up for (Y/N) like that?" Miche asked. "I didn't stand up for her. I was scolding them for acting like that towards a cadet." "Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say," Hanji said quietly with a smirk. "You shut up, Shitty Glasses." "I'm just saying that I don't think you would have done that for any other scout." "... That may be true, but they're mistreating (Y/N) for no reason." "Getting close to her, are we?"

"Tch. Just shut up." "Shorty has a crush~" Hanji sang in a low voice near his ear as she sat next to him, her 'best friend'. "I've only known her for five damn months. How could I already like her?" "Why are you asking me? And five months isn't that short, it's quite long if you think about it." "I don't care. I don't like her." "Okay~ Whatever you say~" Levi shot daggers at her before going back to eating in silence, not interacting with any more annoying people who seem to have a habit of bothering him nearly every day. One day, they'll leave him and he can live in serenity. One day, when all the titans are rid of and he can leave this shithole. All he has to do wait for that damn day that's taking its time to arrive. Can't it be a little more considerate? "I have to agree with Hanji. You seem to be a little protective over (Y/N)," Erwin stated after some time. "I. Don't. Fucking. Like. That. Brat." "Calm down, Levi. It's not a bad thing to like (Y/N)," Moblit teased. "Tch." The raven stood up and left the mess hall as he could hear the others laughing at him in the background. He slammed the door shut and trudged to his office with a scowl. He found you standing outside his office, your hand reaching for the handle but you stopped when you saw him come your way. "What are you doing, brat?" "I was going to give you your cape back. Thanks," you muttered. "Shut up," he grumbled, snatching the material from your hands and stepping into his office, locking the door. "Oi! Why are you telling me to shut up when I said thanks?" you shouted. "Get away from my office!" he yelled back. You rolled your eyes and started to go back to the mess hall. "Last time I thank you, bastard," you mumbled to yourself. ~/~ Your door shut with a bang after you had stormed into it, and leaned your back against the wood, hiding your face in your hands as you cried. Your legs gave out so you dropped to the ground with your legs arched and your arms resting on your knees as you placed your head on your arms, feeling tears drop onto your lap, seeping through your clothes. Two minutes later, you heard laughing, yelling and then footsteps approach your room. Light knocks sounded from the door with the soft call of your name. You knew who it was, but didn't respond so they turned the handle, slowly pushing the door open, however, you prevented that from happening by sitting by the door. They slid through the small gap before closing the door again, crouching down to you. "(Y/N)." "Leave me alone!" you shouted, though it was muffled behind your sobs and your face was hidden. "No. You obviously need someone right now." "I hate you! I hate all of them! Just get the fuck out!!" you roared, tearing your face away from your arms and looking at Levi's gentle expression. He didn't seem startled at all. "... Why are they doing this to me?" you whispered and concealed your face again, not wanting Levi to see you in this state. "Ignore them." "You know, it's all that Petra's fault. The bitch is envious of me and just wants to break me down into nothing. All because she's in love with you and she thinks that I like you!" "Tch. I don't even like her. She can fuck off. And how is doing this going to make me fall for her? I was wondering why she was being more clingy than usual," he muttered, but it was more to himself before he turned his attention back to you. "Don't let her break you down. You're a strong woman, so don't let something petty like this ruin you." "What am I meant to do? You don't know how hard it is to overlook them. You don't know how hard it is to keep a straight face when I'm hurting inside. I don't care if Petra may be making them do this, I hate it!" Surprisingly, you felt arms loop around your cowered form and haul you onto Levi's lap which made you remove your head from your arms again, looking at the raven, who was now right in front of you and gazing at your bloodshot eyes. He gently wiped your tears away and brushed a few (H/C) tresses that stuck to your tear-stained face.

More tears escaped as you shoved your face into his chest, soaking his shirt with the salty moisture and snot. He cradled you in his arms until you stopped crying which was about under an hour. "Are you okay now?" "Yeah. Thank you," you murmured as you wiped your face with tissue that Levi got for you. "Don't mention it. Do you need to talk?" "What's there to talk about? Petra hates me so she got people to make my life hell and I broke down." "I don't know how you were able to put up with it for half a year." "Barely. I just put on a poker face." Levi gently grabbed your chin in between his index finger and thumb, tilting your head towards him as you saw a slight smile creep onto his lips. "Don't hide your feelings anymore," he whispered before tenderly kissing you, his eyes fluttering shut. You were taken aback before you were brought back to your senses, finding yourself kissing him back as you cupped his face with a single hand. One of his hands trailed up from your hips to your scalp, tangling his slender fingers in your tousled locks. He was the first to pull away with gleaming orbs gazing at you with affection, licking away the strand of saliva that connected his lips to yours. "I'll always be here for you. To protect you, to talk, to comfort you, or whatever else you want." "Thank you, Levi," you hummed, leaning your forehead against his, pecking his lips once more. "Come on. Let's go eat." "I don't want to go," you said with pleading eyes. "I told you that I'll be here for you. You have to eat something before you sleep." "Please, don't make me go." "Just sit with me. I'll make sure that no one does anything to you." "I can't." "You need to endure it to become stronger. I'll be right next to you, okay?."

Sighing shakily, you stood up with a nod. "Okay." "I like seeing this vulnerable side of you," Levi teased as he walked out of your room, you padding beside him. "Shut up. You aren't allowed to tell anyone about this." The Corporal only smirked as you rolled your eyes.

As you strolled through the corridors to get to the mess hall, a few people were lingering, standing on the side and snickering when you went past. You tried to ignore them, though, it was difficult. "I heard that she got Corporal Levi drunk to sleep with her." "I can't, Levi. I'm going back to my room." You proceeded to turn and walk away but he grabbed your forearm. "(Y/N)." He cupped your face with both of his hands, making you face him but you averted your eyes, feeling tears welling up. "Look at me." You reluctantly brought your eyes back to his. "She's a whore. She tried to make me have sex with her and my friend. She wanted a threesome!" "Levi, I'm going." You tried freeing yourself from his hold, but he didn't let you. "No. Look at me. Ignore them." "How am I meant to ignore them?!" "Look at me!" he commanded. "... You can ignore them if you put your mind to it. Don't let them cause you grief because then it pains me to see you hurt. I don't like seeing you in pain so don't get affected by them. Ignore them and keep your eyes on me." A tear rolled down your cheek so he embraced you tightly, stroking your back soothingly. He let out an inaudible huff, wishing he could relieve your pain. "I won't force you to go to the mess hall. Go to my office, I'll bring you food." You nodded and pulled away from his grip. When you made your way to his office, people would say or do things but you stayed strong, and you were kind of proud of yourself once you made it into his office. You sat down on his sofa, waiting for him to come back. About five minutes later, the raven appeared with a tray of two bowls, bread and two glasses of water. He settled it onto his desk after you helped him clear the surface. You both sat down and ate together, allowing him to see your smile that he was deprived of ever since people started to harass you. After years of dreaming of having a home, having someone to stay with you, they came true. You have someone strong, feisty and you're sure you'll have plenty more heated arguments to come. On top of it all, he was damn sexy.

[sometimesitrytowritethings]

Home

A great big special thank you to @peachy-mags for the full version of the fantastic companion artwork for this piece! (https://peachy-mags.tumblr.com/post/654049235542622208/)

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

Word count: 13.2k

Warnings:  Smut, Swearing, Canon-typical violence

Summary: After years of service to Angelo Bronte, who would have thought that the arrival of little Jack Marston could change your life forever?

Notes: My submission for @rdrbigbang! Be sure to check out the AMAZING companion art for this fic from @peachy-mags!

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Another beautiful morning in Saint Denis. You breathed in deeply, reveling in the calm peace that so rarely enveloped the town. There was a slight nip in the air that you knew would fade away as the morning drew on, the sun rising and casting everything in a pale-yellow light, before the city itself awakened. It was your favorite time of day.

A cup of coffee steamed in your hands as you slowly made your way through the gardens at Angelo Bronte’s mansion. One of the perks of being a live-in servant, you supposed, was unfettered access to the (admittedly slightly ostentatious) statue garden out back - given that Signor Bronte himself wasn’t occupying the space. After a few minutes of slow, calm pacing, you found yourself standing in front of a marble statue of some Roman goddess, Aphrodite?, and taking a sip of your coffee. 

It was hot and bitter, the perfect juxtaposition to the cool morning that you would allow yourself to enjoy for a few moments longer. Soon, you would need to make your way inside and ready the table for breakfast, but for now you could enjoy this moment. This peace.

Unfortunately, that peace was almost immediately broken by the sound of terrified cries coming from inside the house. It was not all that uncommon to hear screams and sobs from inside the building, due to the scrupulous nature of your employer, but these sounded different. Almost childlike.

Curious, you made your way back indoors, trying your best to steady your pace so as not to draw unwanted attention. Setting the coffee cup in the kitchen next to the large washbasin, you nodded to the cook, Giovanni, before opening the door to the servant’s stairwell. 

The crying was louder here. Anguished and frightened sobs broken only occasionally by cries for “Mama”. 

So it was a child?

Quietly, you crept up the creaky stairs to the hallway, where several of Bronte’s more scrupulous henchmen, Gene, Alfonso and Irvin, were gathered around a door. The crying was even louder now, and most certainly coming from the room where the henchmen were standing guard. Above the desperate sobs, you could just make out the sounds of your employer trying to shush the child, albeit unsuccessfully.

“Now, now, my boy,” he soothed, his accent unmistakable. “There’s no need to be upset, I’m sure your family will come after you soon enough.” The boy continued to cry for his mother in between sobs. Signor Bronte’s tactic wasn’t exactly working.

The men standing guard had spotted you, and closed their ranks tighter. You knew how this went - you were never allowed to see Bronte’s victims. In fact, as far as you were supposed to know, Bronte participated in no underhanded dealings whatsoever. Which was, of course, completely wrong, and you had figured that out long ago. But for the most part, you tried your best to ignore the dealings - for the sake of keeping yourself alive.

But this was a child.

You had to do something. 

Carefully, you moved closer to the line of henchmen standing in front of the door. They were larger than you, Signor Bronte had a habit of finding and employing practical giants to act as his henchmen, but they were also silent.

“Signor Bronte?” you called, standing nearly face-to-chest with one of the large men. “Is everything alright? Can I be of service?”

The men in front of you reddened, irritated at your immunity to their intimidation tactics. They stayed silent, however, and maintained their position as a wall of flesh between you and the crying child in the room. 

After just a few moments, you heard your name being called with a familiar Italian lilt . “Come in, come in. We could use your help,” he hailed for you over the steady sobs from the room. 

The three men at the door reluctantly parted to let you enter the brightly lit room. A fire was burning low in the hearth, likely more of a symbol of comfort than to actually provide any heat, and your boss sat on the side of a large, gaudy bed. 

The boss of the largest crime syndicate in San Denis was a feared man, but if you met him in the street, you would never know. He was small, with a prominent nose and dark eyes that never overlooked anything. At home, his dark was hair slicked back under a floral headband, and his red housecoat opened in the front to reveal an unbuttoned white collared shirt. To anyone who didn’t know him, he could have passed as any rich, european immigrant.

But you knew better. In the middle of the luxurious home, beneath the extravagance of his clothing, sat a cunning, intelligent man who had clawed his way up from hell itself. He was cutthroat, manipulative, and would not hesitate to sell out his closest comrade for a step up the ladder. Knowing this, it didn’t surprise you to see a small boy curled up on the large, gaudy bed, his clothes muddied and his light brown hair in tangles. He couldn’t have been older than four or five, and was screaming adamantly for his mother. 

Instinctually, you rushed to the bed and sat next to him, taking the spot that had been occupied by your boss. “Now, my dear,” he said as he stood, clearing his throat and adjusting his housecoat, “this young man is Jack, and he will be staying with us for a while.” You looked sympathetically at the boy, still sobbing and curled up in front of you, before giving your boss a solemn nod. 

You hated this; seeing the boy in such a familiar state. A state that you, yourself, had been in for years upon your arrival in San Denis. Hopefully his parents, unlike yours, could pay off whatever debt they had soon. “If you could stop his screams, I would appreciate it. He’s giving me a headache,” Signor Bronte continued, reaching up to massage the bridge of his nose with one hand as he headed toward the door. “Get him some breakfast. I’m sure he hasn’t been fed since those hillbillies in Rhodes took him.”

Without another word, he walked from the room and the three henchmen followed closely behind him. As he entered the hallway, you could hear him speaking to them in Italian, “Let’s hope these bastards come for him soon. I want to have the little shit out of here as soon as possible.”

The door closed behind them, and you were left in the room with the poor, frightened child. You sighed and slowly moved closer to the curled up figure on the bed. Making sure you were as gentle as possible, you reached out to place a hand on his tiny shoulder. “Jack?...” you said his name, low and calm, as if you were trying to tame a spooked horse. He curled even further into himself, but you noticed his sobs had started to die down to exhausted whimpers. “Jack?” you tried again, pulling your hand back to yourself and placing it in your lap. Calmly, you gave him your name before continuing, “I’m very sorry about all of this, Jack. I know it’s very scary…. I-”

What could you tell him? That you had been in the same situation when you were just a few years older? That your parents had never been able to come back for you? That you had spent the majority of your life in service to Angelo Bronte, notorious mafioso, in order to pay a massive debt that had been racked up by your father when you were eight?

No. He didn’t need to know those things. He didn’t need to know the likely reality of his situation.

It was rare that Signor Bronte dealt in child kidnappings, but when he did? The poor kids were lucky if their parents were able to retrieve them.

“I’m sure your ma and pa will show up for you soon,” you soothed, hoping it was the truth.

The poor boy, whose sobs had now turned into quiet sniffles, stayed curled up with his back to you, unmoving. You reached out a hand gently, brushing his dirty hair away from his forehead, only for him to flinch from your touch. You couldn’t blame him. 

“Alright, Jack,” you said quietly, standing from the bed. A nearby armchair held a throw blanket that you spread gently over him. “Why don’t you get some rest, I’ll bring you some water and some soup in a bit, I’m sure you’re starving.” The floor creaked beneath your feet as you made your way to the door. He didn’t move. He didn’t look up at you. He just stayed on the bed, a shaking, sniffling bundle. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Sighing, you stepped out of the room and into the hallway, making sure to lock the door behind you. You didn’t think he would run away, he seemed far too exhausted and overwhelmed for that, but you have seen desperate people do crazier things. The least you could do was make sure he wasn’t accidentally hurt trying to make his way past Gene, Alfonso and Irvin trying to escape.

You made your way quickly back to the servants stairwell and down to the kitchen, where Giovanni was waiting for you with bated breath. A joyous, loving man, an immigrant from Italy alongside Angelo Bronte several decades ago, Giovanni was one of your closest friends - possibly the next thing to family that you had had since coming here. Over the years, he had taught you as much as he could about Italian cuisine, all the while boasting about the restaurant that he would surely open one day. 

At first, you had scoffed. Hardly anyone in Angelo Bronte’s service managed to leave and start their own life. And, with as much as Signor Bronte boasted about Giovanni’s food, it wasn’t likely that he would be let out of his repayment contract that easily. 

Hardly anyone actively sought out Angelo Bronte as an employer. In fact, you suspected that the only actual well-paid employees were the contract killers he sometimes took out to keep his hands clean - but again, you weren’t supposed to know that. The rest of you were given room and board and a pittance of a salary, in exchange for paying off whatever debt was owed to Signor Bronte. For you, it was your father’s sizable gambling debts. For Giovanni, it was the cost of keeping his nieces and nephews alive after their father, his brother, had suddenly passed. Bail, loans, gambling - every one of his employees had a past, and every single one of them owed their future to Angelo Bronte.

“And, my dear, what is the news?” he asked, turning from the freshly baked bread that he had just taken out of the oven to face you. 

You gave him a somber smile and picked up a slice of tomato from the cutting board in the center of the kitchen island. “A boy,” you explained, leaning against the island and taking a bite of the vegetable. You glanced over at the washbasin and saw your coffee cup had been cleaned. Giovanni was a saint. “Maybe four or five? Small, either way. I…” you trailed off, but the both of you knew what was going through your mind. You felt bad for him, you didn’t think he deserved this.

Giovanni nodded, and turned to the stove. “Well, my dear, let’s give the boy a warm welcome, shall we?” he responded before pulling a large pot from the back of the stove and looking inside. “We have some leftover minestrone from yesterday, why don’t you warm some up for him while I finish Signor Bronte’s breakfast? There’s some stale bread in the pantry you can add to it. I’ll call in Anne to set the table,” he handed you a wooden spoon and was out the kitchen door, where you heard him calling for the older woman.

Your smile was significantly less downtrodden after speaking to the man, but you still could feel anxious, worried butterflies in your stomach as you collected a bowl, spoon and glass. After a quick glance around the room to make sure no one was watching, you also slipped a small chocolate bar into your apron pocket, hoping it would help cheer the boy up, even a little. Within just a few minutes, you were headed back up the creaky stairs to the room where Jack was housed, hot soup and cool water in hand, and armed with a secret chocolate bar.

Quietly, you opened the door, balancing the soup and a glass of water with your left arm as you entered. The room was silent now, except for the low breathing of the boy on the bed. If it weren’t for his red-puffy eyes and the chapped rings around his nostrils, he would have seemed peaceful. Like nothing was wrong at all.

You stood for a moment, looking at the poor boy. Should you wake him? He was bound to be starving, but you were sure he was exhausted as well. You hesitated, but decided against it. You could leave the soup and water on the bedside table and check on him throughout the day - he deserved his rest.

Slowly, quietly, you crept across the room to the side of the bed and set the soup and water down, followed by the chocolate bar. You glanced quickly at him, relieved he didn’t wake, before making your way back to the door.

Just as you were about to leave and go about your duties for the morning, you heard a small cough and a hoarse, timid voice from the bed. “Wait…” he said. You turned to see the boy propped up on his arms, looking at you with puffy, shining eyes. “Please don’t leave me.”

Looking at him made you want to cry. How could anyone hurt someone so small, so fragile, so helpless? How could someone be so cruel as to take him away from his family and thrust him into this god awful world?

He was already so exhausted, so frightened, so sad, you couldn’t leave him to sort his feelings out on his own.  You could convince Anna and Giovanni to take your duties for the day. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nodded at him and moved back toward the bed to sit with him. “I won’t.”

---

Slowly, Jack began to settle in. Although he was still obviously upset, the boy proved to be far more flexible and resilient than you had expected from someone so young. Whether from his natural resilience or from your constant reassurance that his parents must be doing everything in their power to get him back, you weren’t entirely certain. You spent plenty of time with him, making sure he was doing alright, and eventually he chose to sleep on a small cot in the servants quarters, next to your bed. 

He was prone to constant chatter during the day, and you soon learned quite a lot about him and his family. He apparently had plenty of aunts and uncles, who all moved together around the country. They had been down near Blackwater for a long time, where Jack had apparently left his favorite storybook, but then something brought them north to a small ghost town “with lots of snow, it was real cold!”. Luckily, they hadn’t been there long before heading south again to “a place by a river with lots and lots of trees” where, notably, his Uncle Arthur had taken him fishing. Most recently, they had moved down to Lemoyne, once again near a river, but this time Jack described it as “really hot and nothing ever dries and it always smells like fish.”

An accurate description if you had ever heard one.

In the meantime, although he wouldn’t talk much to the others, most of them couldn’t help but dote on him. Giovanni had a habit of slipping him sweets throughout the day. Anna and the other maids would occasionally bring him books or toys that they had found around town - he was amassing quite a collection. And from Signor Bronte himself, Jack received a brand new outfit made from the finest cotton. You suspected it was most likely to keep the worn rags out of the man’s sight than to actually please Jack.

But, despite the gifts and the treats from the others, Jack clung to you. On laundry days, he would help sort and fold. When cooking, he would clean the vegetables without a second thought. During cleaning, he happily carried supplies around after you, handing you what you needed whenever asked. Although you had told him multiple times that he was more than welcome to sit and read his new book, he preferred staying by your side. 

Almost as if he was afraid that, if left alone, he would be taken again.

And at night, it always came to a head. In the dark and left with no distractions, you could hear his whimpers from the cot next to yours. You could hear his murmurs and quiet cries for “Mama” as he dreamt. And it hurt. You couldn’t bear to see him so miserable.

After the third or fourth night, you reached down and brushed the hair from his head. “Jack?” you whispered, looking at the small boy with all the affection of a loving mother. “It’s going to be alright, I promise.”

He didn’t wake. Instead, he sleepily lifted his hand to yours, and held it in his until the sun rose.

--

The first few weeks went by similarly. Working during the day, with Jack at your side, helping you out as much as a child could, and comforting the poor child during the night with reassuring words. Soon, the reassurance and affirmations turned into stories -  tales about dragons and castles, about magic and the sea. 

About two weeks into his stay, you spent the day preparing for a large feast alongside Giovanni, Anna and with plenty of help from Jack. 

“You didn’t finish your story last night,” he said, pounding away at a ball of bread dough with his tiny fists. 

“Oh yes I did,” you teased, looking the boy dead in the eye with a grin. “You were just too sleepy and fell asleep before the end.” As you joked, you set down the knife and pushed aside the tomato you had been chopping to poke him lightly in the side.

His joyous laughter lit up his face. “Hey!” he whined in between bouts of giggles. “That tickles!”

“I know, silly,” you returned not relenting your tickle torture. “That’s the point!” You did acquiesce after just a few moments though, not wanting to actually cause him any pain.

“Alright you two, calm down, now,” came Anna’s voice from across the room. She was a lovely, portly older woman, with graying hair and a smile to light up a room. If Giovanni had been your father figure since coming here, she certainly took the place of your mother. “We’ve got plenty to prepare for tonight. Signor Bronte is having the Mayor over to talk about his party.”

You let your giggles die down, and nudged the red-faced child next to you. “Now look what you’ve done, Jackie,” you teased softly, ruffling his hair before going back to chopping vegetables.

“Nuh uh,” he responded, giving the bread dough a thorough punch before looking up at you again with a childish grin. He had lost a tooth recently, which only made it all the more adorable. “Can you tell me the end of the story?” he asked after another moment, turning back to the mound of dough on the table. “It was so good, I wanna hear the end. Pretty please?”

A chuckle escaped your lips. “Alright, alright,” you chided, picking up yet another tomato. It wasn’t a particularly good story, just a thinly veiled version of… well, you didn’t want to dwell on that, but if he wanted to hear it, you would oblige. “Where were we?”

“Hmmm…” he mused, stopping kneading the dough for just a second to recall. “Well, the king and queen had just sent the princess to talk to the mean dragon, and then he caught her in a trap, remember?”

“That’s the beginning of the story, Jack.”

“Well, that’s as far as I remember,” his giggles echoed through the room and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Alright, fine,” you feigned irritation that he definitely could see right through. “Well, the princess had been caught in a trap by the mean dragon, but he didn’t hurt her. He… he just wouldn’t let her go home. He wouldn’t let her see the king and queen again so she could be happy.

“‘Your king and queen need to send a knight to come get you,’ the dragon told the princess. ‘Little girls cannot roam the forest on their own.’

“And so, the princess waited, and waited and waited and waited. She learned to read, and write, and she even learned to speak Dragon, which were talents unheard of for princesses in those days. 

“She had lots of friends who came and went, and even though she couldn’t go back to the king and queen, she... she wasn’t so lonely… and she learned to find happiness in the small things, like the smell of coffee in the morning, or turning the page of a brand new book, or even the glow of the sunrise on spring dew. 

“After a while, she finally realised that she didn’t need the king and queen to be happy. She could make her own happiness… And she did…” you trailed off at the end, returning your focus once again to the vegetables. The other two adults in the room remained silent. You couldn’t have been more blatantly obvious. “The end.”

Jack was quiet for a moment as well, hands stilled on the dough as he looked at the ceiling in thought. “That wasn’t a very good ending,” he said quietly, looking up at you.

You had been caught.

“The princess should have run away, or she should have asked one of her friends to take her when they were leaving,” he continued, determined.

You chuckled solemnly. “You’re probably right, Jack,” you murmured. “I think she was just… scared. The world was dark and scary for her, and she weren’t a very brave princess, and she was worried about what would happen to the king and queen if she left.”

“But that’s not true,” he interjected, throwing one final punch at the bread dough before Anna came to collect it from him. “She was real brave! She lived with a dragon! And dragons are real scary!” He was handed another mound of dough which he immediately proceeded to punch with all his might. “And maybe some of her friends come back to save her! Maybe she helped lots of people while they were living with the dragon, and then they come back to help her! That would be an even better ending!”

Another chuckle. He was far too adorable and far too naive for this house. “Maybe, Jack,” you responded, plastering a knowing smile to your lips. “That would be a good ending.” Clearing your throat, you wiped your hands on your apron and turned to face the small boy. “Alright now, you. Finish up with that bread and then we can get cleaned up for lunch. I think Giovanni is making us spaghetti.”

---

The hot water splashed out of the bucket, spraying suds across the floor. Jack giggled and picked up a handful, blowing it in your direction.

You couldn’t help but laugh. The kid sure did know how to make even the most boring of chores into a game. Looking around first to make sure no one caught you messing around, you picked up a handful of bubbles and plopped them onto his head. This brought out a shrieking laugh from the boy. He really was settling in. For better or worse, at least he seemed to be happier. 

Finally, you told him gently that you needed to finish the laundry, and then the two of you could go outside for a walk. This, somehow, convinced him to calm down, left playing with the bubbles and giggling to himself until he was interrupted by a voice calling your name from the hall.

Signor Bronte.

“Get these men drinks,” you heard, his spoken Italian echoing across the hall.

Immediately, you put the wash down and wiped your hands on your dirtied apron before hustling to the liquor cabinet. “Wait here, Jack. I’ll just bring the whisky out and be right back,” you instructed, quickly gathering six whisky glasses and a serving tray.

This had been your job for years, you could practically do it blindfolded. As one of the youngest servants in the house, Signor Bronte tended to like to have you wait on his more esteemed guests. It was degrading, but it kept you in his good graces. You had seen enough servants come and go to know that complaining about your role would get you nowhere. Or worse.

Quickly, you pulled a decanter from the cabinet, and left the room with the tray full of glasses in your hands. Already in the hallway, you could hear the conversation between the men in the room. “Dutch van der Linde, Arthur Morgan, John Marston,” introduced one of the strangers, his voice confident.

You brushed past Irvin, who was standing guard at the entrance, into extravagant parlour. Upon entering the room, you could immediately see that these were not the typical guests that Signor Bronte would waste his good whisky on, but you hardly had time to look at them individually. They seemed dirty, rough, and completely out of place in the richly-decorated parlour. 

“The pleasure is mine, all mine, please,” he said, summoning you forward. You warily step between the chairs to place the tray on the table and pour the glasses, handing them to each man in turn. First, to a tall, thin man with dark hair and a frustrated scowl etched into his face. Next, a muscular man with light brown hair and bright teal eyes, and finally, another dark-haired man, his hair slick with pomade and dressed in clothing that looked like it used to be expensive. 

“So, can my friend have his son?” says one of the men - the one who had introduced them all earlier. You nearly froze. Can my friend have his son?

Jack. 

It took you just a moment to gather your wits before you turned to your boss, handing him the last glass. He took it with a nod to you and a chuckle, before looking back at the men in front of him. “Of course, of course!” he grinned, taking a sip of the whisky. You immediately got yourself out of the way, standing behind the couch in case you were needed for anything else, as you had been taught. “But… should I be out of pocket over a misunderstanding? Of course I know you would not want that…”

“No,” answered the man, slightly reluctantly. You noted that none of the other men had yet spoken, this must be their leader.

Bronte seemed satisfied with their response, choosing to ignore the reluctance with a jovial laugh. “No, no no. So, how about this? You perform a simple job for me and you get your son back,” he explained, rubbing his hands together like the villain he was.

Finally, one of the other men spoke.“What is it?” the larger of the two groaned, beginning to stand up, as if he knew he would be assigned to this task.

Bronte, of course, made light of the situation, waving his hands through the air as he spoke, “A couple of people have taken to grave robbing in the cemetery.”

“That is a fine place for it, the best,” joked the leader. You cringed, but Signor Bronte seemed to enjoy it.

Your boss burst out laughing, from the gut this time. “I love this guy, don’t you love him?” he laughed, looking at you. You nodded, plastering a smile to your face until he turned back to the other man. “I love you!” He paused for a moment to pour himself another glass of whisky before continuing his explanation. “See they’ve taken not only to desecrating the dead, but they've done so without paying a tribute to the living. Thing is, they see my men, of course, they run a mile. So maybe you two head off, huh?” he said, indicating to the men on the couch before pouring yet another glass of whisky and handing it to the group’s leader. “And you, Mr. Van der Linde? Why don’t you tell me more about my manners?” he finished speaking and held up the glass to the other man, Mr. van der Linde, for a toast as the other two men stood to leave the room. “Salute.”

“Salute,” parroted Mr. van der Linde, clinking his glass with your boss’s. The other two men exited the room, as your boss and Mr. van der Linde continued conversing. Their laughter was real, but something in the room was tense, fake. Two men cut from the same cloth, both trying to one-up the other without making it completely obvious.

You had seen this enough times to know that this would only end badly for at least one of them - if not both.

The hour dragged on, as you stood in the corner, ready to jump into service if need be. Your mind drifted to Jack - now sitting alone in the washroom - and that you would soon be saying goodbye.

It was bittersweet, this feeling that came over you. You wanted him to be happy, to be home with his family, of course, but over the course of the last few weeks, he had wormed his way into your heart. He was the family, the son, that you would never have. And it broke your heart to have to let him go.

But you knew better. You couldn’t keep him here. Not for you. It was better if he were able to go home, to see his mother and his family, to see his dog that he missed so much. That was the life he needed, the life he deserved.

You felt the tears well in your eyes as you stood, waiting for your orders. A little over three hours had passed, and the men were still away. Signor Bronte and Mr. van der Linde were well into their cups, and you were not surprised in the least when your boss stood and unceremoniously sent his guest on his way.

“And the boy?” asked Mr. van der Linde, standing from his position on the couch and reaching out a hand to shake.

Signor Bronte took it, gave it a quick shake and began to stagger out of the room. “Yes, yes,” he slurred, turning to you on his way. “Bring him down, would you?”

“Yes, Signore,” you nodded, looking from your boss to the other man. It was really happening. It was really time to say goodbye.

--

To say Jack was excited at the news was putting it lightly. He had nearly bounced with joy when you had told him that his Pa was here to pick him up. You had led him down the stairs and out the front door to where Mr. van der Linde was waiting patiently. Jack nearly tackled him to the ground in his excitement.

“Uncle Dutch!” he called, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist. 

A loud, barking laugh left the man as he patted Jack’s head. “Well hello there, son,” he said, a smile on his face. “It’s good to see you again. We’ve missed you around camp.”

You smiled, looking at the two of them. This was the right thing to do. But then, Jack did something wholly unexpected. He led Dutch to you, and introduced you.

“She’s been real nice since I got here,” he explained to the older man. “She told me stories and brought me candy, and today she even put bubbles on my head!” his excited giggles echoed across the yard.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Dutch said, looking you up and down before reaching out for your hand, which he then pulled to his lips in a theatrical show of chivalry. “And thank you so much for taking such good care of our boy.”

You plastered another smile to your face and gently pulled your hand away, wary of potentially offending the well-armed man. “Of course,” you responded. “I was happy to-” you were cut off by the well-timed sound of horse hooves on the cobblestones, and a loud, rough voice ringing in your ears.

“Like I said, we’ll see where we’re at once we got Jack,” said one of the men from earlier as their horses came to a halt in front of the gate. They dismounted and were immediately let in by one of the front guards. 

Upon their arrival, Dutch seemed to immediately forget your existence, instead striding towards the two men with an exasperated, “Well, you took your time.”

And then there was Jack, nearly bursting with excitement at the sight of the men, he couldn’t wait until they were through the gate before he ran to them with a cry of, “Pa!”

The sight warmed your heart. Jack was quickly picked up and clutched to the chest of the taller, dark-haired man as the other moved past you to hand something to the guards. “I’m so glad to see you!” he said, rubbing the back of Jack’s head and holding him close. 

However, Jack, completely oblivious to the nature of the situation, wiggled free of his father’s arms and, instead, grabbed his hand and pulled the man in your direction. “Pa, come here, come here, you have to meet my friend!” he said, voice loud and excited, as he introduced you to his father. “She’s been helping me since I got here. She tells the best stories!”

The man looked down at Jack with a loving smile and then up to you. “That so?” he asked the boy, reaching out to shake your hand. “John Marston.” 

You took his and introduced yourself as Jack rambled on, “Yeah! And she taught me how to make bread real good, want to see?”

“Sure, you can show us when we get back to camp,” John acquiesced, still holding tight to the boy’s hand, who then proceeded to drag the two of you over to the one man you did not yet have a name for.

“Uncle Arthur!” he called. The man, having dropped off whatever he had needed to give Signor Bronte, was leaning against a column and smoking. “You have to meet my friend too.”

“Is that right?” he said, smiling at Jack. He pushed himself off the column and snubbed his cigarette on his boot, moving toward the three of you. “Nice to meet you, miss,” for the third time that night, a hand was held out.

You shook it and introduced yourself, “It’s nice to meet you too.” 

John, looking both relieved and exhausted, heaved Jack back into his arms. “Thank you for taking care of him, I-”

Immediately, you stopped him. “It weren’t no problem, really. He’s a lovely boy,” you explained, once again trying to stop the tears from welling up in your eyes. Taking care of Jack had easily been one of the highlights of your life. Having someone need you, someone that loved talking to you, someone who was simply excited to be around you - it was such a drastic change from how you had lived for so long. And, even if you would never experience it again, you wouldn’t trade the last few weeks for the world.

John nodded, you didn’t have to explain any further. “Comeon, Jack, your ma’s been worried sick.” Jack nodded to his father enthusiastically, a grin on his face, before turning and surprising you with a big hug.

You bent over to hug him back, patting him on his head when you heard your name. “You’re coming with us, right?” he asked, his tiny face buried in your dress. You looked around at the others, Arthur had paused in his tracks, John was frozen in place, Dutch was stopped near the gate. No one said anything for a moment.

You don’t know how to break it to him.

So, you pull his face from your skirt and kiss him gently on the forehead, a bittersweet smile on your lips. “I’m real sorry, Jack,” you say, looking him in the eye, “but not this time.” You felt tempted to say something like I promise I’ll write or You can come see me any time but you knew both of these things weren’t true. He would get home to his family, and in a few days you would just be a stranger from his childhood. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stood again, ruffling his hair and turning him to face his father. “Now, you go on back to your family, alright? Teach them how to make some good bread, like I showed you.”

His head was shaking as he looked back up at you, tears welling in his big brown eyes. “But…”

This hurt. More than saying goodbye to a child you had only known for a few weeks should. “I know, but…” you started, still not entirely sure how to explain yourself. “I have to stay here. This… this is my home.” You pull him to you once again in a tight hug and place a kiss on the top of his head. “You be good for your parents, alright?”

You can feel him nod under your chin, but he does not respond. It’s easy to tell that this is a new feeling for him - being so happy and so sad all at once. You wished you could tell him that its only temporary, and he will never have these conflicting feelings again. You wished you could have gone with him, broken free of Angelo Bronte and this life. There were so many things you wished you could do at that moment, but you couldn’t. Or you wouldn’t.

With a light sob, Jack wraps his arms around you one final time until he is gently pulled away by his father. “Comeon, son. We should get going.”

They walked to the gate together, John’s hand on his son’s back, leading the way. Jack was hoisted high onto a horse, and you could vaguely hear them talking to him, trying to cheer him up. “We have a new camp set up, Jack, you’re going to love it,” says Dutch before they ride off down the street.

Finally, you allow your tears to fall.

“Goodbye, Jack.”

---

The days pass slowly after Jack’s goodbye. There is little entertainment to pass the time. No dumb jokes, no begging for stories. It was exactly as it was before. Still, it felt like something was missing.

Early in the morning, a few days later, you walked around the house as usual, coffee in hand. You mused over the tasks for the days ahead: the Governor's garden party was in about a week, so it was time to start preparing. Clothes needed to be pressed, shoes to be shined, and, most importantly, mounds of food needed to be cooked.

Giovanni’s cooking was, although rarely shared outside of Signor Bronte’s home, lauded as some of the best in town. So, of course, Angelo Bronte’s personal chef would be graciously catering the meal.

It was supposed to be a sign of generosity, you theorised, but in reality it was all a show to keep Signor Bronte in the San Denis elite’s good graces - and to worm his way into another favor from the mayor.

You chuckled lightly to yourself as you paced slowly around the perfectly manicured gardens. Marble statues, imported from Italy, gazed down at you, unmoving. Quietly, you began to hum a short tune, not noticing the figure at the fence across from you. 

“Mornin’,” he called, his voice low and gruff, just as it had been when you had first met him.

You look up from the grass to the man, in surprise. He was leaning aginst the fence, patiently smoking a cigarette, and waiting. For you? “Ah, good morning, Mr. Morgan,” you call, making your way to him. He stubs out his cigarette on his boot and turns to fully face you. Only now, in the morning sunlight and away from the stress of Angelo Bronte, do you notice how attractive he is. Light brown hair framed an unshaven face, a strong jawline, light smattering of chest hair showing through the top of his unbuttoned collar. “It’s lovely to see you again. How is Jack doing?”

Arthur smiles at you, and the sun suddenly seems slightly brighter. “Boah’s doin’ good,” he says, leaning forward on the fence, one arm above his head to balance himself. “He’s happy to be home.”

You shoot him a small, bittersweet smile before turning your gaze to your coffee. “Good, I’m glad.”

“Misses you, though,” he continues, once he realises you aren’t going to say anything more. You look up at him, and notice he is fishing something out of his satchel. A small, folded piece of paper is passed through the bars of the fence, and you gently pluck it from his hand. “Sent this. Special delivery.”

You gently unfold the paper, and see a row of several stick figures, several people and what looks to be a dog, standing in front of some trees under a sunny sky. Under each of the figures, you can see several names scribbled in an adult’s hand.

Pa, Ma, Jack, Cain, Uncle Arthur… and you.

“Been told to tell you,” he continues, reaching through the fence with the hand that had been keeping him balanced and pointed at the figures on the paper. “That’s you… with us…”

You laugh lightly, glancing from the paper to the eyes of the man in front of you. A handsome teal, complimented by his, admittedly dirty, blue shirt. How had you not noticed him before? “This is real sweet of him, thank you,” you breathe, slightly softer than you had intended. You turn again to look at the drawing, hoping he didn’t notice the blush that had suddenly stained your cheeks.

The two of you stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the sun rise above the horizon. “You could come with us, you know,” he said after a minute, pulling another cigarette from his satchel and lighting it. “The boah would shoa be happy to have you ‘round.”

You smile at the thought. Waking up in the fresh air, telling Jack stories, getting to know his family. It would be lovely. But at the end of the day, it was easier said than done. “That… that’s a nice dream,” you told him, smiling. 

He huffed, and took a long drag from his cigarette. “It’s true,” he tells you, leaning against the fence once more. “The life… well it ain’t pretty. Sure as hell not as pretty as livin’ in a mansion. But it’s free. You ain’t gotta answer to no one you don’t want.”

You scoffed and found yourself kicking at the grass beneath your feet. It would surely be better than what you had here. Hell, it would be easy enough to walk through the gates with the intention to never come back. And, what was even keeping you here? Your family? You hadn’t seen them in years. Giovanni? Anna? They would both leave if they could. 

But, you knew it wasn’t possible. You’ve seen this kind of thing before. One of your fellow servants found a means of escape, only to be back within a week. If they weren’t found and killed onsight. Angelo Bronte had eyes in every corner. Flies on every wall. He would find you.

“I… I wish I could.”

--

You went to bed late that evening, your conversation with Arthur resounding in your head. You could come with us, you know. The boy would sure be happy to have you around. The thought had even permeated your dreams, enveloping you in a fantasy world. A beautiful campsite by a river, a group of people, happy, laughing, free. Jack and Arthur and John and Dutch, and even Giovanni and Anna. They were all there, and they were all happy.

But, of course, the threat lingered. What had started as a beautiful dream quickly turned sour as Angelo Bronte entered the scene, scaring away your friends, capturing you and dragging you back to San Denis, into a mansion that looked more like a prison with every step. You would never escape him. You could never be free.

You had woken early in the morning, covered in sweat and sheets kicked from the bed. Breathing heavily, you glanced at the clock in the corner of the room. It was early, but not early enough to warrant going back to sleep. Groaning, you stepped quietly from your bed and pulled on your dressing gown. Your morning ritual would begin earlier today.

The air was crisp, but your coffee was hot - the perfect combination for waking a person up in the morning. The birds sang in their early morning chorus as the slowly rising sun cast everything in a calm, light blue. It was earlier than you had been up in ages, and you were fully prepared to sit in the garden, alone, and bask in the peacefulness. 

To your surprise, however, the increasingly-familiar smell of cigarette smoke and campfire reached you. You turned to the fence, the same place as the day prior, to be greeted by the rugged cowboy, leaning casually against the railing. Tired as you were, you couldn’t keep the smile from lighting up your face. 

“Good morning, Mr. Morgan,” you say, making your way over to him, coffee cradled in both hands. You took a sip, thinking that you may need to start making two cups if this becomes a habit. “Didn’t expect to see you again so soon. How’s Jack?”

Arthur’s grin immediately made your stomach flip. “Mornin’, miss,” he responded, tipping his hat to you. He lazilly flicked the butt of his cigarette to the ground before leaning against the fence again, his arm above his head, like he had done the day before. “Boah’s doin’ good. Still talkin’ ‘bout you.” His grin never left his face as he looked at you. 

You cleared your throat and maintained eye contact even though you were sure you could feel the blush spreading across your cheeks. “Well, ain’t he a sweetheart?” you tease, only partially talking about Jack.

He chuckled and reached into his bag, mirroring his actions from the day prior. “I been asked to deliver this,” he said, pulling out a string of slightly crumpled red flowers from his bag. They were strung together, tied at the stems, into a long, vibrant necklace. 

You gingerly took the necklace from him with a smile, examining it. Wild yarrow.  “Oh, it’s beautiful,” you respond, pulling it over your head before striking a cheesy pose for the man in front of you. “How do I look?”

God, you could look at his smile all day. “Gorgeous,” he responds, only slightly teasing, and you are suddenly struck with a feeling of giddy embarrassment. It was rare that you got on with someone this well, this quickly. But with Arthur Morgan, despite his rough exterior, you felt strangely comfortable. 

The two of you stood together, talking through the morning sunrise until you were very nearly late for work. When the sun was almost fully above the horizon, you found yourself giggling and dashing into the house, with one last glance to the cowboy at the fence, eyes shining.

And so it went.

For the next week, like clockwork, you would wake, go for your walk, and meet Arthur Morgan at the fence. Gifts, supposedly all from Jack, were exchanged - a nice rock, a beautiful notebook, a seashell, a fountain pen - and you sent your fair share of notes back, including candy for the boy, and a (stolen) flask of good whisky for your postman.

Soon enough, you found yourself gladly waking earlier in the morning - butterflies in your stomach as you made your way outside to greet him. Your mood was better, despite Jack’s farewell only a week ago, and even your colleagues had taken notice.

“What’s got you walking around here all smiles lately?” Anna had asked on the morning before the Mayor’s garden party, as you sat together, adding finishing touches to several large pies that were to go into the oven. 

You scoffed, still unable to wipe the smile from your face, and looked at her over the stack of pans in front of you. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you responded. “Now don’t distract yourself with me, we need to get this all ready to take this afternoon.” Your chiding didn’t deter her, as she continued pestering you the rest of the day.

Her teasing had very little effect on your mood, however, despite the large amount of work ahead of you. And, so, the day passed quickly, in anticipation of the coming evening. It was well known throughout San Denis that Angelo Bronte had one of the best chef’s in town under his employ, so the household staff was asked to provide a portion of the catering. It was a massive, and time consuming project, but it was well worth the work. 

You finally had the opportunity to get out of the house, even if it were for just an evening, which would be an incredible change of pace. Almost before you could even gather your bearings, you were slipping into your best uniform, and were on your way to the even larger home.

You had been to the Mayor’s home a handful of times, but it still left you in awe. If you had thought that Angelo Bronte lived in the lap of luxury, but this home was somehow even more opulent. Marble pillars, statues lining the hallways, mahogany floors, golden chandeliers, art on every wall. You had to make a conscious effort to not allow your jaw to drop as you walked through the hallways to the kitchen. There was no time to dawdle, guests would be arriving shortly.

With an unintentional grunt, you hoisted the box of chopped vegetables you were carrying onto a table, and got to work helping Giovanni finish up a large pot of étouffée. It took some time, but after some significant effort from yourself, Giovanni, and Anna, as well as plenty of help from the Mayor’s own servants, the food was served and guests were mingling in the garden.

You leaned carefully against a counter and wiped sweat from your brow. Cooking for upwards of 100 people was exhausting, not to mention that the kitchen was absolutely scalding. You could use a large glass of water and a breath of fresh air.

Nodding at your colleagues, you told them as much before stepping into the hallway and taking a deep breath of the cooler air. If you were lucky, no one would be on the upstairs balcony, and you could head out and watch the fireworks for a few minutes. As you made your way to the back staircase, hoping that the balcony would be empty, you spotted a flash of a black tuxedo and familiar light brown hair in front of you.

Arthur Morgan. Now what was he doing here?

With a smirk, you carefully followed him up the stairs, catching a further glimpse of him as he entered the first door on the second floor. You hadn’t been up here before, but with the way he was walking, you could be sure that he wasn’t sneaking off to the toilet.

Glancing around, you saw no one else in the hallway. 

Good. 

Slowly, carefully, you pushed open the door to what appeared to be an office. And there, in all his glory, was Arthur Morgan, rummaging through the Mayor’s desk. As you snuck in and quietly closed the door behind you, he slipped a small stack of papers into his tuxedo jacket. 

You took a moment to look over him. Damn, he cleaned up well. A recent haircut, clean shaven, and a brand new tuxedo made him look like an entirely new man. Not that you had any problem with the bearded, dirt-covered version of him that had been meeting you all week.

“You ain’t supposed to be here,” you said quietly, startling him. He turned to you, wide-eyed, his hand instinctively flying to where his pistol was usually holstered. He was red in the face, adrenaline pumping, and you had to admit that it was a very good decision to not allow weapons at this party.

Upon seeing you, however, he noticeably relaxed. Face still red, he glanced quickly around the room before moving toward you, a predator stalking its prey. “Could say the same to you,” he whispered, voice low, as he backed you slowly toward the door.

That familiar feeling of butterflies in your stomach rose again as he neared, but you held your chin high in defiance - and then you did something even you didn’t quite expect. You kissed him.

Lunged would be a more accurate description. You closed the distance between the two of you in a second, lips crashing with his. You had only known him for a week, but somehow it felt like you had been wanting to do this your entire life. 

After a moment of shock, he returned the kiss, lips frantically moving with yours as he wrapped his hands around your body. He was warm and strong, and smelled of campfire and cologne and you wanted to get lost in him. You wanted to lose yourself with him. Reaching up, you ran your fingers through his hair until you reached the base of his neck, pulling him closer to you.

He moved with you, slowly, steps matching yours, until your back was flush against the door. For only a moment, he pulled away. You heard the light click of a key and he was on you again, hands fluttering over your hips as he began to work his lips down your jawline. You had to swallow the moan threatening to spill from your lips as you pulled him impossibly closer, fingers toying with the ends of his hair. Then you pulled.

He leaned back with a guttural groan, following your hands as you gently pulled at the hairs on the nape of his neck. His cheeks were flushed, hair mussed, and he looked absolutely gorgeous. You couldn’t help yourself as you pulled him back to you, wrapping your arms around his neck and crashing your lips to his.

The taste of him, the feel of him, it was overwhelming and you wished you could be surrounded by him like this for the rest of your life. Silently, lips still on yours, he turned the two of you so that your back was against the nearby bookshelf. You lifted a leg and wrapped it around his, grinding into him without breaking your kiss. 

Before you knew what was happening, his hands moved from your hips to pull up the skirt of your dress and finger the waistband of your bloomers. A nip at the bottom of your lip brought out a groan from you as he slowly made his way into your underclothes, exploring until he found your core. 

Gently, he toyed with your lower lips, ghosting his fingers along the outside teasingly. If you were in any other state of mind, you would have been embarrassed about the way your hips began moving - wantonly, desperately, trying to maneuver his exploratory fingers exactly where you wanted them.

But Arthur Morgan was apparently not feeling cooperative. He pulled away from your kiss and brought his hand out of your bloomers at the same time, leading you to throw your head back against the bookshelf with a desperate groan.

The twinkle in his eyes matched the mischievous smirk on his face as he looked down at you, your breathing heavy, cheeks flushed. The cocky bastard knew exactly what he was doing, and he was enjoying this. This torment.

 With a sudden burst of courage that you didn’t know you had in you, you found yourself pushing him backward. Hands on his chest, you led him roughly to the mayor’s desk, and lunged. Lips crashed once again with his, the taste of whisky and tobacco overwhelming you once again. Your fingers toyed with his tuxedo jacket before slipping underneath and sliding it from his shoulders.

As good as he looked in this outfit, he was far too clothed for your taste.

Next came his vest, unbuttoned with help from him as you both lost your patience. You peeled his suspenders off until they hung loosely at his sides, and finally all that stood between you and his bare chest was his shirt. He yanked it roughly from his pants, the two of you unbuttoning it as quickly as your shaking fingers allowed, and flung it across the room before leaning in for another desperate kiss. 

As his lips met yours once again, you felt him push you back toward the bookshelf as he untied your apron to pull it over your head. Next, his fingers unbuttoned the high collar of your dress, quickly followed quickly by his lips as he placed kisses and nips on your flushed skin. He trailed ever downward - to your collarbone, to your cleavage - drawing moans from your parted lips.

Desperately, you reached for his face and pulled him back up to you, caressing the smooth shaven skin as you kissed. Once satisfied, your hands wandered downward, toying with the hair splayed across the hot, hard panes of his chest. Slowly, teasingly, you followed the path of his hair with your fingers until you reached the top of his pants, and his breath hitched in your mouth. 

Your kiss slowed and turned into a peck as you undid the button and pushed his pants down, revealing muscular thighs framing a growing bulge hidden under his underclothes.  Pushing down the thin cotton finally revealed his swollen member, which you took gently into your hand as you pulled him in for another heated kiss.

He groaned into your mouth, growing impossibly harder with each stroke, until he pulled away to look you into the eye. His face was flushed, his hair in shambles, and you swore you had never seen anything so beautiful in your entire life. You nodded, and allowed him to hoist up your skirt and slide into you through the slit in your bloomers.

In unison, groans left both of your mouths. You were balanced precariously on a bookshelf, your leg wrapped around his waist as he sank into you, head thrown back in pleasure. Once he gathered his bearings, he slowly, torturously slowly, began to move. 

He thrust in and out, in and out, his face buried into your shoulder. Each thrust was paired with a small grunt and a gasp from you. You reveled in the feeling, the warmth, the intensity. 

His hands gripped your hips through the fabric of your dress, pulling you closer to him with each thrust. You wrapped your arms around his neck, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him up to you. Your lips met, tongues entangled as tiny gasps swelled up from your throat. It was all you could do to keep in the loud moan that was threatening to spill from your lips.

With each thrust, the bookshelves shook, sending a few trinkets to the carpeted floor with a light thump. You should be more careful. The thought echoed in your mind for only a second before it was whisked away by another thrust that shook you to the core. 

As he grew closer and closer to completion, his thrusts became faster, more frantic, and you found yourself clutching the edges of the shelf for balance. 

Finally, he pulled one of his hands from your hip and wormed it between your bodies to find the place where he had teased you so well before. And then he pressed. And rubbed. And stroked. And finally, in a glaring flash of white before your eyes, you found yourself biting down on his shoulder to keep from screaming his name. Your body shook, your breathing came in harsh gasps, until you could finally open your eyes.

Not a second later, Arthur took a few final thrusts and pulled out of you, stroking his member once, twice, and then spilling himself on the floor with a series of loud gasps. A shaky breath followed as he fell onto you, his head balancing on your chest to catch his breath.

Finally, there was silence, only broken occasionally by a heaving breath. The two of you huddled together against the bookshelves, clinging to each other until you could regain your balance.

You found yourself leaning hard against the shelf behind you, running your fingers through Arthur’s mussed hair. “Those last few gifts… the journal, the pen… those weren’t from Jack, were they?” you asked after a moment, breaking the silence.

A low chuckle came from Arthur, still bent forward with his head balanced on your chest. “I s’pose I’ve been caught again…”

--

The party ended with a spectacular fireworks show, which you and Arthur watched together, now fully clothed and hidden from sight on the empty balcony. Shortly after the last firework had lit up the night sky, he left you with a lingering kiss that you swore you felt on your lips for the rest of the evening.

To say your head was in the clouds would have been putting it lightly. You would have never expected such a rough, dirty man to be your knight in shining armor, but here you were. 

Your good mood carried over through the party cleanup, into the night, and even on into the morning during your daily walk. Glancing at the gate where he usually stood, you were slightly disheartened to see his spot empty. Your smile faltered for just a moment, before you reasoned with yourself. He was probably just tired, or hungover, and just because he had showed up every day for the last week and a half did not mean he could keep up that habit forever. 

So, you sat and waited for nearly a half an hour at your normal meeting spot, before heading back inside only slightly disheartened. He had a life outside of meeting you, you reminded yourself, it was unfair to assume he would be there every day when he had never promised this.

Despite your disappointment, your good mood persisted through the day. Through stained laundry, through dusting and mopping, through cleaning a massive pile of cooking dishes from the night before - you couldn’t have wiped the smile off of your face.

And then he didn’t show up again. And again. And again.

For over a week, you missed Arthur’s presence on your morning walks. You found yourself waiting at the fence each day, coffee and the morning paper in hand to pass the time, only to end up disappointed once again. At the very least, there seemed to be a lot of dramatic news to report that week - a trolley station robbery ending with a crashed trolly on main street, a wealthy man on a steamboat robbed for all he was worth - but that information only helped pass the time you spent waiting for him.

Outside of your morning walks, your mood slowly soured. Maybe Arthur had gotten what he wanted. Maybe the dirty, lecherous outlaw’s only goal was to bed you and be on his way. Maybe Jack had forgotten you completely, and with nothing new to deliver, so had Arthur.

You took to writing angrily in the journal he had gotten you, having no other reasonable outlet for your emotions. Originally, you had wanted to toss the damn thing into the fire, but - without someone to vent to, without someone who could understand the depths of your frustration - it seemed like such a waste. Instead, you chose to use the gift for its intended purpose, and wrote down all of your frustrations toward the man who had gifted it to you, before stuffing it underneath your pillow and falling asleep for the night.

There it lay, throughout the day and night until you finally did see Arthur Morgan again. A loud crash, followed by gunshots and yelling in Italian and English from the back gardens, met your ears as you cleaned up after dinner with Anna and Giovanni.

“We’re comin’ for you, Bronte! Send out every man you got!”

The three of you had no guns, and even if you had it sounded less like a gunfight and more like a massacre. Quickly, you locked the doors, hoping that it would be enough to deter the intruders. And then, huddled together out of sight with your friends, you waited.

The back door was kicked open with a gunshot and a loud bang. More gunshots, screams, and crashes echoed through the hallway and into the kitchen. You heard the yells get closer, before the kitchen door was shot and forcefully kicked open. 

This was it, this would be your end.

Only, it wasn’t.

Standing in the doorframe was none other than Arthur Morgan, shotgun in hand, eyes frantic… until he caught sight of you. 

“Comeon,” he said, rushing over to where the three of you were huddled together and pulling you up by the arm. “You three gotta get outta here,” he ordered, gruffly, hurriedly, as he opened one of the larger windows. “We only came from the back, so head to the front and go somewhere safe.”

Giovanni and Anna looked from each other to you, and then to the open window, hesitant. Another volley of gunfire reached your ears from inside the house. There was no time for debate. “Go ahead,” you told them. “We can trust him.” 

That (plus another few rounds of gunfire in quick succession) was all it took. Giovanni nodded to you, grabbed Anna by the forearm, and they were out the window and running across the lawn to safety. You breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to Arthur. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you wanted to ask, but there was no time. 

As if sensing your hesitation, he took you by the shoulders and pulled you in for a hug. “Go,” he said, face buried into your hair. “Get to the Fontana, I’ll meet you there when this is over.” You could have sworn you felt a light kiss atop your head before he pressed a crumpled ten dollar bill into your palm and lightly pushed you in the direction of the open window. “Get outta here.”

You nodded, mouthing a quick “thank you” before climbing through the window. In the distance, you could see Anna and Giovanni, silhouetted against the night sky. They were running as fast as they could, to safety, and you felt a pang in your chest. They had been the closest thing you had had to a family for so long. The three of you had been forced together by fate, and had come out a team. But… where would you end up if you followed them? 

Likely back in the service of another rich man. But, maybe it would be better. Maybe the freedom you found yourself longing for was to be found in the familiar, the known. Could you really abandon your friends, your way of life, for the promise of a man you had known for little more than a few weeks?

Quickly, you glanced in the opposite direction, toward the city. Toward the Fontana. Toward the promise of freedom. The clock was ticking, you needed to decide. Now.

Torn between what was and what could be, you took a deep breath and took the advice of a child who was far too wise for his age. You ran toward the Fontana. You ran as fast as you could to a new life.

The sound of gunfire and screams followed you to the gates, where it then became overwhelmed by the shouts and sirens of incoming police. Luckily, you were able to slip outside of the gate and get partially down the street before they stopped in front of the house.

Bowing your head, you quickly made your way down the cobblestone street and into the city, away from the violence. By the time you reached the Fontana Theater, the gunshots had all but faded into the hustle and bustle of the city center, and you became acutely aware of how much you didn’t belong. It had been years since you had been anywhere outside of Signore Bronte’s mansion other than the grocery and occasional trip to the tailors. It had been even longer since the last time you had been to a Magic Lantern Theater. And you knew, with your hair mussed and maid’s uniform, you must stick out like a sore thumb.

Luckily, if your memory served, the theater should be dark enough that no one would notice. You slowed your pace, not wanting to draw attention to yourself, and proceeded to the ticket counter, purchasing one ticket to the three upcoming shows. That should be more than enough time, you hoped. 

You entered the dimly lit room and practically collapsed into one of the seats. Now that you had managed to escape, now that you were in relative safety, the adrenaline you had felt earlier had completely vanished. You were exhausted. You were confused. You were scared. 

Now, you could only wait, and hope that Arthur would be back for you as promised.

In front of you, the film started with a flicker. The recorded voice of a man telling the story of several forest animals as a series of images were projected onto the screen. The room was silent, except for the recording, and you found yourself struggling to keep your eyes open.

What must have been a few hours later, you were shaken awake by an unfamiliar man. You were startled for only a minute before you realised that he was the same man who had sold you the tickets earlier. “That’s the last showing for the day, miss,” he was saying, quietly, pulling his hand away from your shoulder. “I’m afraid you’ll need to be on your way, now.” 

You blinked and looked around the room, now flooded with light. It was empty except for the two of you. “What… what time is it?” you stammered, voice cracking lightly.

“‘Bout 11:30,” he responded, looking quickly to his pocket watch to confirm. You had been asleep for a solid 4 hours, and Arthur hadn’t yet arrived. “You should get on home.”

Home. Where was that? 

You stood, nodding abashedly at the man. “Thank you,” you murmured before making your way out of the theater and into the dark streets. 

It was quiet, the same kind of quiet you had grown so used to on your morning walks. However, instead of finding it calm and refreshing, you found yourself longing for the noisy streets. The hustle and bustle of San Denis that would overpower your thoughts, that would drown out your anxieties. 

Instead, you were alone, left to mull over your current situation on the steps of the theater. The long, dark tendrils of doubt crept into your mind as you waited. Did you make the right choice? Did Arthur abandon you? Was all of this some horrible trick? Tears spilled silently from your eyes as you waited. Exhausted. Frustrated. Sad. The only thing to break you out of your thought spiral was the occasional drunk would wander by, heading home for the evening.

Eventually, the ground where you sat grew cold, and you found yourself falling asleep against the wall of the theater, huddled up like an abandoned animal. You could sleep here tonight, in case he did show up, and head … somewhere … in the morning. A hotel, maybe? A workhouse? You didn’t know where, but that was a thought for the morning.

It was only when the steady clip-clop clip-clop of horse hooves made their way down the dark street that you willed yourself to look up. Coming slowly into view through the darkness was a lone rider on a horse. He looked exhausted, frustrated, as he stopped his horse in front of the theater and dismounted, glancing around the area until he spotted you.

You stood on legs that were strangely both stiff and shaky and made your way over to him, where he pulled you into a tight hug. 

“‘M sorry,” he mumbled, once again burying his face in your hair. “Didn’t mean to leave you so long.” You nodded against his chest, gripping at the fabric of his shirt as tears of relief threatened to spill. “Let’s get you home.”

--

The ride went by in a blur. Not that you were moving fast, but rather because you were so exhausted that everything was a bit of a haze. You must have arrived at the large, dilapidated mansion early into the morning, before anyone was up to disturb you, because you could not remember the journey into Arthur’s bed for the life of you.

There was no crunch of the grass as you slid off the saddle, no creek of the stairs, no groan of the bed as the two of you lay down together. Nothing. All you could remember was that you were here. You were safe. You were home. 

You awoke around midday, sunlight streaming through the broken windows of a small-rundown room overlooking the swamps of Lemoyne. It was sweltering hot, but you found yourself cuddling closer into the strong arms that were wrapped around you. The scent of the swamps mixed with whisky and tobacco, campfire and gunsmoke, as you nuzzled into his chest.

He was breathing deeply, soundly, as you lifted your head from his chest to look around. The room itself was old and dilapidated, it would barely serve as a shelter during any storms that may strike. In the far corner stood an old shelf, filled with photos and trinkets. Next to it, a small table with a map, and across from that, a larger table, stacked to the brim with weapons and ammunition. 

Arthur’s room. 

You stood, intending to make your way over to examine the trinkets across the room, but were instead gently pulled back to bed by the man behind you. “Mornin’,” he grumbled, not bothering to open his eyes as he held you close.

You acquiesced, leaning back into him and basking in his presence. “Mornin’, Mr. Morgan,” you whispered back to him, gazing over his face. His eyes were still closed, but he couldn’t keep a small smile from forming as you spoke. Gently, you brushed hair away from his forehead and planted a light kiss to the revealed skin. “Thank you.”

He chuckled, finally opening his eyes to look at you. You could have melted in the soft, loving look that came your way. “Nothin’ to thank me for,” he said, reaching up to run his thumb along your cheek in admiration. “Just needed to get you out alive, is all.”

You grinned, shaking your head. “I feel like that deserves thanks.”

A scoff came from the man beside you. “Nah, it was all selfish, really,” he explained, his gaze travelling over every inch of your face as if he were committing it to memory. “I just wanted to keep you ‘round.” With that, he planted a quick kiss on your lips and sat up, turning to his satchel that had been tossed to the floor by the bed. “It weren’t pretty last night… ‘n’ I’m glad I got to you before it got worse.”

“What happened?” you asked, watching as he pulled the satchel to him and began to rifle through it.

“Bronte… well he done his best to screw us over,” he explained. “Set some traps for us… ‘n’ Dutch made sure he paid for it.” You figured you knew what he meant, but let him continue anyway. “Bastard’s dead - some poor alligator’s breakfast.” 

To your surprise, you felt incredibly conflicted. The man had essentially kept you hostage for the last few years, but he had at least taken care of you. He had by no means been a good person, but… you had grown some sort of strange affinity for him over the years. And yet, you didn’t find yourself shedding a tear for him. If anything, it was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, like you could finally breathe freely after so long. 

You didn’t know what to say.

“I did manage to get hold of these, though,” he said, pulling several items from his satchel. You gasped when you saw them, and felt the tears that wouldn’t fall for Bronte begin to well up. In Arthur’s hands were a child’s drawing, a flower crown, a very special rock, a beautiful journal, and a fountain pen. 

Now, the tears did fall as you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around him. “Thank you, Arthur,” you said, burying your face into his neck. “Thank you so incredibly much.”

With a small chuckle, he set the momentos down on his lap, and wrapped his arms around you as well. “‘Course.”

The two of you stayed like that, reveling in each other’s embrace, for a few perfect, blissful minutes. So this is what it felt like to be wanted. This is what it felt like to have someone really, truly care about you. This is the feeling you had been waiting for for so long.

It wasn’t a minute later before there was a tentative knock on your door, and Arthur pulled himself away from the hug. “I think someone might be excited to see you,” he said, nodding toward the door.

You looked over, calling for the visitor to come in. As the door swung open, you were greeted with the sound of your name excitedly being called, and the sight of a child, red with excitement, standing in the doorway. Jack. “You’re here! You’re really here!” he exclaimed, darting over to you and jumping into your arms. He was followed by a smiling, dark-haired woman, and a man who you recognised as John. “I knew it! I knew you would come live with us!” 

“Of course, Jack,” you childed, squeezing him tight. “I could never leave you.”

He squeezed you back, before pulling away and grabbing your forearm to lead you out of the room. “Come on!” he said, leading you forward. “You have to meet the rest of our family!”

[nypmphetsbastard]

They Both Die in the End (ch.2)

Chatter filled the makeshift cafeteria as everybody had just now began returning from their long hours of hard labor. The port finally completed meaning everyone had to start preparing for the arrival of more enemy and new comrades. Chatter filled the makeshift cafeteria as everybody had just now began returning from their long hours of hard labor. The port finally completed meaning everyone had to start preparing for the arrival of more enemy and new comrades. 

You leaned against the table and munched on some bread as you listened to Sasha talk. Despite your current situation, you couldn’t help but live in the present while everyone else worried of the future. Maybe this is why you preferred Sasha’s company more than anybody else’s.

The young brunette never liked stressing herself out thinking of the future, said it would give her gray hairs early — she lived in the present and made the best out of any situation that was thrown her way. Her presence felt like a breath of fresh air to those around her, it was no surprise Sasha has so many friends. Hell, even Floch likes Sasha and he doesn’t like anybody. 

“And then he tried to take my meat so I-” Sasha was cut off by Armin’s voice called both of your names from afar, he jogged over in a state of stress.

”Have you seen Eren?” He spoke aloud but you knew the question was more directed to you considering the two of you almost never left each other’s side. 

“Um no. The last time I saw him, Hange and the others were taking him back to his cell for the night.” Armin sighed.

”Yeah he was, but Commander Hange said he asked to stop for a second to take a piss and when they looked back he was gone.” Armin explained, running his hand through his hair. You sighed and gave your unfinished reread to Sasha who gladly took it. 

”I’ll help you look.”

It wasn’t uncommon for Eren to run off sometimes. Frankly, it happened whenever he got stressed and didn’t feel like being smothered anymore. He never went far, never went somewhere completely off the grid, but always somewhere he knew you and only you would find him. Today being an example of that. 

Legs burning from all the walking, you finally reached the rocky shore where you saw a distant body swimming in the water. Muttering an annoyed “what the hell?” under your breath, you walked closer to the shore.

Stepping up to the elongated rocks that acted as a deck, you make out your brown haired boyfriend bobbing up and down in the water until he finally noticed you. His eyes lit up as a smile stretched onto his face and he pulled himself out of the water, wasting no time in running towards you with open arms. 

Making a playfully disgusted face, you curled into yourself and Eren threw himself onto you and wrapped his arms around you. You groaned and he squeezed you tightly.

”Gross, you’re all wet.” You playfully complained, he didn’t say anything and instead pulled away, holding you by your shoulders. “Why did you run?” 

He shrugged, “I didn’t run.” You gave him a pointed look, ”I merely got distracted by a butterfly and casually walked away from their line of sight.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah well it’s still considered running, Eren.” You placed your hands on his chest, “What are you doing here, anyways? It’s already dark.” 

“Just wanted to take a little swim.” He grabbed your hand on his chest and lead you towards the edge of the rocks where he let go of your hand and jumped in. 

“Since when do you know how to swim?” You giggled, Eren’s head emerged from the water and placed his head between your thighs with his arms folded on the side of your thighs. 

“Since now, of course.” Smiling cheekily, Eren placed a kiss on each side of your thigh. 

“Haven’t you heard the stories of this place?” 

“What stories?” 

“Apparently, many years ago there were these two Eldians who had escaped the walls, lovers. They left before night fall meaning it was simple enough to get through Titans as they were beginning to slow down without the sunlight. And when they finally reached the ocean, they thought they made it...but then came an abnormal. Adam, the man he was grabbed by the Titan and told Lilith, the woman to run away into the sea and leave him behind. But it was useless and after devouring the love of her life the abnormal came after her in the water. And as the Titan held her in his hand, mouth stained with the blood of her lover, Lilith vowed that any lovers lucky enough to reach the sea and swim in it would be cursed, as her and her lover were.” 

Silence came between you as you finished the tale until Eren finally spoke up

“Oh darling,” he leaned up to your lips, “we’ve always been cursed.” Just as his lips met yours, his arms wrapped around your back and yanked you into the water with him.

Ice cold water prickled your skin sharply as you two fell in, Eren still holding onto you while you flailed around. Letting go of the breath you were holding underwater, you slapped Eren shoulder once you reached the surface.

“You asshole!” He laughed aloud at your anger and threw his head back, “It’s not funny, Eren. I can’t even swim!” You exclaimed.

“Oh I can tell, you’re squeezing me like I’m about to drop you!” Eren laughed, referencing your legs that were tightly wrapped around his waist and your arms that followed. 

“Or will I?” He joked, pretending to let go of your legs to which you screeched and held his shoulders tightly, nearly drowning him yourself.

The boy was still in tears at your reactions, mouth wide open giving you the perfect opportunity to splash water into it. He quickly stopped laughed and coughed harshly at the salty taste in his mouth. 

”Not so funny when it’s happening to you, huh?” You chuckled, after his coughing feat he joined in on your laugher and began pushing himself around in the water, sending you into another state of panic. 

“Ow, stop scratching me.“ Eren complained, your nails digging into his shoulders

”Then stop moving!” 

“How else are you supposed to learn how to swim, my love!” He laughed, “Here, I’ll help you.” Ignoring your refusals, Eren pried your legs off of his waist and let them float in the water. 

“Okay now start kicking.” He instructed, you gave up and listened for once.

“Ah, good girl,” Eren pried your hand off his shoulders next and held your hands at an arms length away.

You let out a breath, trying to freak out and you kicked your legs like Eren instructed and swim together. Eren continued to praise you as you got the hang of it more and more, a genuine smile splayed across his cheeks as he watched you. 

“You see? Told you it’s not that hard.” He encouraged

”Yeah right, the only reason I’m still afloat is because you’re still holding my hands.” You scoffed.

”Oh yeah? What if I was drowning?” You rolled your eyes at his hypothetical

”Pfft, you’re on your own for that one cause I am not saving you.” 

Eren raised an eyebrow, “We’ll see about that.” Were his final words before he let go of your hands and went underwater. 

You gasped and tried to reach out for him which didn’t work as he floated downward. You kicked and splashed around, trying your best to stay afloat and alive.

”Eren? Eren?! Eren, stop it’s not funny anymore!” You splashed around to try to get his attention but after another couple seconds of silence you began to panic. 

“Eren? ....Stop it, the jokes over I get it...” you looked around you, only got find yourself completely and utterly alone. Slowing down your panicked breathing, you sucked in a deep breath and stopped kicking around, letting yourself fall slowly under the water. 

The sharp stinging of the salty water hit your eyes when you opened them, trying your best to find the brunette. After a couple double takes, the sight of a slow falling body caught your eye and you immediately swam towards it. A wave of fear ran through you when you finally caught up to his body, his eyes closed and his lips not their usual pink color—he looked kind of...dead. 

Wrapping your arms around his waist as he once did early on, you pushed his body higher up to the ocean top, knowing you wouldn’t be able to carry him the whole way yourself without you drowning too. You repeated this process until the moonlight was visible under the water and you finally pulled his up, his body weight falling onto you. 

Multiple curses escaped your lips and adrenaline pumped through your veins, not even feeling the burning in your lungs or the tears in your eyes until you finally reached the rocky sand and dropped Eren’s body onto it. You coughed and started chest compressions.

”What the hell, you crazy bastard?! Jean was right, you’re a suicidal fucking maniac!” You cried, switching between pushing your interlocked hands up and down on his chest and blowing your own oxygen into his lungs. 

“I swear to Ymir fucking Fritz, I will kill you if you die on me, Eren Yeager!” 

Your arms stung, your knees bled, and your head was getting lighter and lighter, not even hearing the distant voice of Armin who called out to you. It didn’t matter how much it hurt, it didn’t matter if you had to rip all the air out of your lungs for him, none of it mattered until he was safe. 

You were always that kind of person. The person who’d take all the breath out of their lungs for others. A lover, a friend, an elder, a child, a stranger or a foe, all human life was precious. Violence never solved the problems of today, Marleyans killed Eldians centuries ago until they themselves were slaughtered and the roles were reversed. For even more centuries Eldians tortured Marleyans, constantly reminding them of what their ancestors had done long before them, and now, again the cycle continues. 

Push up

Push down

Replace his breath with yours

Push up

Push down

Replace his breath with yours

Push up

Push down

Replace his breath with yours

Push up

Push down

Replace her breath with yours

Push up

Push down

Replace her breath with yours

Push up

Push down

Replace her breath with yours 

Hers? Her breath. The breath that was slowly fading more and more. Armin’s voice calling out to you in the distance. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. You had to save her. You’ve done it before, why isn’t it working now? Why did they all stop?

Why didn’t it work?

Armin called out to once last time, placing his hand on your shoulder, “Hey...that’s enough. She’s gone.” 

You pushed his hand off your shoulder and shook your head, “No...no, she’s not...she-....Sasha...” you whimpered and went limp in Armin’s arms, the blonde carefully holding your head and shoulders against his chest as you both cried together. 

Questions were all that filled your thoughts. Why did this happen? Why was Sasha the target? She was innocent, she was kind and beautiful and everybody loves her, why did this happen? Who did this? 

Well, who did it was already an answered question. Yes, the simple answer would be the child but, it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t pull the trigger unprovoked and she most certainly wouldn’t be here if the scouts never invaded Marley. And the reason the scouts in invaded Marley was because of....

”Eren...” you pulled away from Armin’s hug and stomped over the back of the airship where Connie had just finished breaking the news. 

You maneuvered around him, ignoring everybody else in your way as your hand impulsively raised and lowered, meeting the side of Eren Yeager’s face. A sharp stinging sensation on your palm snapping you out of your adrenaline high, and it all came crashing down. 

“You killed her! She was my best friend and now she’s dead! All because of you! She didn’t want to come here, I didn’t want to come here but we did. Because of you!” You shouted. 

As much as Levi personally loved throwing Eren around himself, he couldn’t stand you being the one to do it, knowing you’d feel the highest of regret later on. He stepped in, trapping your arms under his as you flailed around trying to get out of his grip.

Anyone who knew the two of you was more than a little shocked at the sight. Hell, even Zeke, who had only heard of you through his brother’s adoring words was shocked. The way Eren spoke of you, even he knew that this outburst was one nobody was expecting. 

By that point, you had already given fighting against an Ackerman and fell limp in Levi’s arms. Although awkward, Levi knew he couldn’t leave you in such a vulnerable state at the moment. 

The ride back home felt like years. Years of avoiding the back room in fear of seeing Sasha’s cold and lifeless corpse laying there, unmoving. Mikasa let you lay on her lap and cry your eyes out, not caring who was listening to you and never judging you for it either. She had lost her best friend too, but she knew she wasn’t alone in this.

Sasha was everyone’s best friend.

Even Eren’s. 

And no matter how cold and distant he seemed, he would always make room in his heart for Sasha. She was...odd, a strong soldier and an amazing asset to the scouts, it didn’t help that she was one of the only people who could make him laugh. It was nice, hearing her and Connie crack jokes that were funny because they weren’t, seeing her make Mikasa and Armin smile, and especially seeing how good of a friend she was to you.

He knew after every argument or every interaction you and him had would immediately be brought to the attention of Sasha and Mikasa. Sometimes, through the cracks of the stone in his cell, he would hear the three of you giggling and whispering about boys.

Through the cracks of the stone in his cell Eren stared. He knew what he had to do in order to protect the people he loved, and to do that he had to distance himself as much as possible from them. Starting with Hange.

They cursed under their breath as they left the room, Eren’s chest clenched but he ignored it and sat on the uncomfortable bed given to him. He didn’t hate Hange. He never could. In fact, he held a high respect for them, but he knew if he needed people to turn away from him and his destructive behavior, he had to start with the one in charge. 

Little did he know, you offered Hange some sleepy tea recommended by Levi and slipped into the basement where he was being held. The brown haired boy flinched and became defensive at the sound of keys jingling, getting ready to attack when necessary but relaxed when the warm colored light illuminated your face. 

He sighed and looked away, “What are you doing here?” You gulped and unlocked in cell, closing the door behind you and standing over him. Eren didn’t look up from his seat on the bed, choosing to stare at concrete floor instead of your eyes that were filling with tears.

”I’m sorry.” 

Eren shook his head, “For what?” 

“I hit you. A-and I know I was upset about....but that’s not excuse. I shouldn’t have put my hands on you, no matter what.” Looking up at you, Eren noticed your eyes downcast trying to hide the tears streaming down your face. 

He cursed himself mentally and stood up sharply. You gasped at the sudden movement and looked at him, not expecting him to yank you into a hug, his head in your neck. Immediately, you wrapped your arms around him and let go of the breath you were holding. 

“You were right.” He spoke up

”What?”

”To hit me. You had every right to.” You tried to pull away to look him in the face but couldn’t escape his strong grip. 

Ever since you all went to Marley, Eren had been acting different. Even before Sasha’s death, his eyes seemed duller, darker, he didn’t seem to care about the innocent lives he took. He barley even looked you in the eye despite not seeing each other for months. 

“What? No, why would you say that? You would never put your hands on me so I shouldn’t have either, where is this coming from?” You questioned 

“I saw it. I saw her die.” Eren mumbled, finally letting you pulled away. ”When I got in control of my Titan more, I saw it. I saw the future, I saw Sasha die and I thought I could stop it but...” You didn’t waste any time in sitting Eren down once more and wrapping your arms around him, letting him lean on your chest. 

Millions of thoughts were running through your head but all you cared about was making sure he was okay. And considering everything you had all found out in the past 4 years, it wasn’t as surprising to find out he could see into the future. 

For those little moments of silence, you ran your hands through his, now long brown hair and let him relax. There wasn’t any time for Eren to “relax” recently sand there wasn’t much you could do to help him considering you never knew what was going through his head, but for those few minutes were all he needed. 

All he needed to act selfishly. 

Eren suddenly pulled away from you and held your face in his large hands, “Do you trust me?” 

“Huh?” 

”Do. You. Trust. Me?” He repeated sharply

”Yes? Yes, of course I do.” You reassured him and maybe even yourself.

”After tonight you can hate me forever, or you can follow me forever, it’s your choice. But I won’t stay here.” He said, you shook your head, trying to figure out what he was trying to say.

”W-What? Eren, don’t tell me...” 

Eren took a deep breath and leaned in, pressing his lips into yours as if it’d be the last time he would. 

“I’m sorry...”

”Wha-“ 

With a sharp sting on your neck, your words were paused as Eren punched a thin syringe into your neck. You opened your mouth to speak but the artificial melatonin pumped through your veins quicker than you could think, finally taking a toll and allowing you to fall limos in Eren’s arms. Not catching the single tear that fell from his left eye. 

When you awoke, keys and yelling filled your ears before your sight did. As your eyes fluttered open, you found Commander Hange standing over you in both fear and anger, calling your name.

”Cadet! Where did he go?! Where did Eren go? Did you let him out? Did he escape? How did you get in?” All sorts of questions were thrown your way.

But nothing could shake the stake in your heart at the hands of Eren Yeager. Though...this won’t be the last time you’d be feeling that. 

[b0rista]

OH MY GOD! ok i’m crying. can i request bertholdt with a female s/o. she’s in the scouts and it’s the shiganshina battle and mikasa + eren pin her down and she has to helplessly watch bertholdt get eaten. OH MY GOD I GOT THE FEELS. tysm if u do this, idk why i’m in the mood for angst rn.

— majority rules.

where even when she pours her soul within her footsteps, she's just not fast enough.

AN: y'all comin for barista's SOUL HUH ✋ also i am SO sorry this took so long! here u go, love! alsonsnd this is unedited forgive me plLsl.

WARNINGS: extreme angst, death, language.

even at your fastest pace imagineable, you weren’t moving fast enough. your calves ached, and your hands were covered finger to finger in blisters and gashes. despite the pain, you moved, and as quickly as humanely possible. hell, at the rate you were going, not even the best of the best could surpass you in speed. it was the adrenaline, the outright fear, and the premeditated heartbreak that urged you to move faster. at this point, you barely had a choice. despite fighting for the opposing side, you knew where your heart stood. with him. 

and by god himself, you were going to save that. 

“y/n!” the screams of your comrades acted as nothing but static within your eardrums, gaining not even a hint of your attention as you plunged forward, venturing above the demolished city as you worked toward your one and only goal— before the present, you had the same goal as your friends, your family. win this battle, and take back wall maria. like the others, you just wanted to take back your land. that was all. that was all you wanted.

not this.

“you’re going to do what?” you asked, looming above the steaming carcass of both your friend and ally, armin arlert. well, what you thought was a carcass. somehow, he was alive. alive, and about to ruin your entire life as you know it. him, and the others; your friends. utterly flabbergasted, your knees would tremble, and your pulse would skyrocket. 

“you couldn’t have expected us to allow him to live, y/n,” hange would say, her single eye shooting toward the rooftop of which she stood on. her tone was cold, and it practically pierced you, “not after all that he’s done. we haven’t any other choice.”

“any other choice?” you spat, earning your commander’s glare. everyone was staring at you, in both uncertainty and pity. they were fully aware of your relations to the enemy, and yet they knew what was right. they knew what they had to do. and, deep down, so did you. you knew, but you denied the reality of the situation with every fiber of your being. because although you were aware of what was unjust and what wasn’t, love trumped whatever moral highground you had left. and dear god, did you love him. you loved him. you loved him, and they wanted to take him away.

“you have plenty of other choices, godammit!” you shouted, eyes widened in fear. your shoulders trembled, and the grip you had on your blades was deadly. as a precaution, you could see mikasa in the corner, her own swords drawn. by whatever means necessary, she was ready to cut you down. even so, you would be heard. “you’re going to kill him? he’s our friend, he’s our comrade, he’s our bertholdt! dammit, he’s-”

your words would only fall from your lips in a hoarse, cracked sob: “he’s my bertholdt!” 

this earned you nothing but silence in return, frightening you further. looking up, you faced the grim sacrifice that either you or the others would have to pay- and unfortunately for you, majority rules. 

“it doesn’t matter.”

the words struck you, sending you into a frenzy. eren stood before you with confidence, his gaze plunging into your chest with the utmost ferocity. 

“whether you’re able to live with the loss or not, we’re feeding bertholdt to armin.” 

now, here you were. with your entire squadron turned against you, you weren’t given any other choice. if anybody was going to save bertholdt, it was going to have to be you. and even if it meant turning against everything you once believed in, you would do it. you had to. 

mercilessly, you ran. with every ounce of energy left inside your being, you ran. unconscious, your love lay on a faraway rooftop, swaiting his very own demise without even being remotely aware of it. from a distance, you could see him. he was vacant of all four limbs, the steam from his regeneration process rising from off of his wounds and into the air. as if he were peacefully asleep, his eyes kept shut. and while his were closed, yours were brimming with tears. oh, bertl. what have you done? 

desperation was the only thing keeping you moving, and it did so with an utter lack of grace. you sprinted sloppily, and you rid yourself of any sort of technique. you couldn’t think, you could only do. unfortunately for you, doing wasn’t enough. just as you neared the still body of your love, you were pulled back by the ends of your hair, slamming you into the ground. as you smashed downward, the terrifingly large footstops of another being arose from a distance. 

“are you in love with me, bertl?” 

the question was abrupt, and it wasted no time in taking your boyfriend utterly aback. “what?” he asked, blinking down at you. as quickly as the single word had left his lips, a drop of sweat threatened to trickle down the side of his face. “what do you mean?”

“what do i mean?” you simply repeated, a teasing smile creeping onto your lips. the two of you were sitting beside one another on the edge of your bed, comfortably dressed for bed. had either one of you thought to look out the window, you would be sure that it was passed the middle of the night. still, it was the lighthearted conversation that urged the both of you to stay awake, basking in the presence of the other. the time you spent together was crucial, and you made sure to savor every single moment. 

“you speak to me as if you’re in love with me,” you said, moving to rest your head against the boy’s shoulder, “and you touch me as if it’ll always be your last. we may be an item, bertholdt. but the label can’t be all that we have.” 

despite how sudden your words may have been, the brunette knew enough to take them into consideration. through the silence that erupted in suite of your mild tangent, he would only contemplate. then, as if he’d finally gathered the courage to let loose, he would sigh. wrapping an arm around you, you would be brought close, where he then buried his nose within the crook of your neck. had you known any better, you would have assumed that he did it to hide his face from your sight. 

“yes,” he would say, much to your surprise. “yes, i am in love with you. i always have been, i think.” 

your jaw agape, you weren’t exactly sure how to react at first. you hadn’t expected his answer to be so simple, to be so confident. feeling his long, strong arms wrap around you as you were pulled into his chest was heavenly, and with his words poured into the mixture, you wanted to melt. however, because you were clueless, all you could think to do was laugh the matter off, earning you quite the stare. 

“now, now, there’s no need to exaggerate. really, you could have just-”

but before you could even finish, a calloused hand would place itself onto the side of your face, moving your gaze so that it would face bertholdt’s gaze. the two of your faces were close, noses nearly touching. with a tender, soulful look, his sage eyes would pour into yours, brows ever so slightly furrowed. 

“i love you, y/n. if anything, that’s an understatement. please, never doubt me in that regard.”

as you were thrown into the rooftop beneath you by the likes of mikasa, it was the past words of your lover that pushed you to fight. even against an ackerman, you would fight. arching your blade behind you, you angled it with the luckiest sort of precision, pressing the very tip of your sword to the clump of hair your comrade had balled up into her hand. with a single slice, you cut it off completely, freeing yourself of her grip as you slipped from in between her legs. in your hindsight, you saw a blonde headed titan— armin. the plan had already been set in motion, and your time was cut short. 

with a shout, you ran. however, before you could get even get more than a single step in, you were pulled back, a pair of arms locking either side of your shoulders into place from behind you. eren’s face loomed beside your own, his eyes closed as he aided mikasa in holding you down. with the two of them combined, you couldn’t move. as you struggled, you were pressed into the crumbled surface of the roof, rendering you defeated. now, all you could do was watch.

“LET ME GO!” you would scream, all to no avail. tears coated the sweat that trickled down both sides of you face, leaving your voice hoarse as you shouted, pleaded, and cried all at once. your vision was blurred, and you couldn’t even clearly see as the titan that was once your dying comrade reached down to grasp the awakening body of your love, plotting to take him away from you for good. it was all happening so quickly, you readied yourself to wake up from the nightmare that was reality. wake up, wake up, wake up. 

nothing could wake you up, except for a single thing. to your absolute horror, just as he was dropped into the clutches of death itself, the last thing bertholdt could bring himself to scream was your name. 

oh, and how it would ring in your ears for the rest of your days.

[stardusttrashed]

My Cup of Tea

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem! reader, slight Jean Kirstein x fem! reader

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst

Word Count: 7.3k

A/n: I pictured y/n as a blasian or lightskin

Most of your friends thought you were crazy for wanting to join the scouts. They didn’t understand why you’d throw your life away like that. Always telling them living inside the walls and in constant fear wasn’t living anyway probably didn’t help the situation. If anything, you might’ve just gave them all existential crises.

In hindsight, joining does seem like a death wish. Throwing yourself right towards a titan for the sake of humanity. It was no wonder people preferred to join other ranks, such as the Military Police. But the threat of death never really scared you. You always thought that you needed to feel like you were living before having a rational fear of any alternative. You couldn’t explain why, but you felt like that solution was just beyond the walls. Somewhere so close but so far. 

So you joined the 104th Training Corps and graduated second in the class. You were a close first, second to Mikasa Ackerman. That was an achievement in itself since you started a running joke with her and the others that she wasn’t human. She was some titan god in human form. Or something like that.

In reality, ranks aside, making it through the training was good enough for you. Between the rigorous training and the bunch of idiots that provided numerous headaches- and even more laughter- there were times you doubted you’d even make it through. 

“I had a hunch you were as crazy as Eren, but I didn’t think I’d be right.” There he was, your biggest headache of the bunch. Jean Kirstein. You loved the loud-mouthed, blunt boy to bits, but that didn’t mean he was any less close to getting his ass kicked at any given second. 

It was apparent he had a crush on you since day one. Well, you and Mikasa, but his fixation on Mikasa was stomped on once everyone could see how head over heels she was for Eren. So he settled for you, the next girl with exotic black hair that had no crush to get in his way. 

He sat across from you at the table with an overconfident expression.“You could join the military police instead and live peacefully. It’s the smartest thing to do.” From the corner of your eye, you could see Eren’s head snap in your direction. He was glaring daggers at the both of you, well, mostly Jean, but for once, Jean’s attention remained on you.

“Well, Jeanie-” you leaned in closer, resting your elbows on the table, “- I guess there’s a first time for everything.” you chuckled and returned to your original position, taking a bite of bread.  “You’re only half right, though; I’m crazier than the suicidal blockhead over there.”

“I can hear you two, you know,” Eren broke in. 

“Oh, I know. You may be able to kick Je-ju’s ass, but I can hold my own against you,”  you chuckled before turning back towards Jean. “Besides, being in the Military Police sounds boring,” you said with a shrug. “I joined so I could become a scout so that I could get out of these walls. I’m sure you’ll have enough fun inside the walls for both of us.” 

Jean shook his head and mutter something inaudible under his breath, clearly disapproving. 

“Coward,” Eren mumbled loud enough for the both of you to hear, causing yet another one of their famous dining hall fights to break out. You looked across the scrapping pair at Mikasa, sharing a tired and somewhat annoyed smile with her.

The next day was like a nightmare. Chaos broke out as word of the return of the Colossus Titan’s return spread like wildfire. Wall Trost had been attacked, and titans were spilling into the city. Everyone was wildly unprepared, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared shitless. Without the Survey Corps, the 104th Training Corps were sent to the front lines. You were about to see your first titan and put your training to the test. It was everything you hoped for and dreaded all at once. 

You slew every titan you could that crossed my path, killing three titans alone and assisting more than you could keep track of. It wasn’t enough, though. Countless comrades were lost, either through being captured by titans or by running out of gas for their ODM gear. Nonetheless, you soared through the sky, flinging yourself from building to building as you did your part to keep humanity safe. 

Somehow in all the commotion of heading towards HQ, you got separated from the others. “Shit!” You stood on a roof, stopping to survey your surroundings. Titans still roamed through the city on the search for their next victim. Their footsteps grew closer, the building beneath your feet shaking uncontrollably. 

That’s when you saw them. The Survey Corps were back and working on the remaining few titans. You watched as Captain Levi killed a titan with ease and moved onto the two titans treading closer. He walked with such calm confidence you couldn’t help but stop to admire him. He made killing them look beautiful, like a dance. 

Without a second thought, you aimed my gear towards him, desperate for a closer look. You soared through the sky, mindlessly slaying every titan that got in between you and Levi. You were nearly there when your gear refused to function. In a quick moment of panic, you repeatedly squeezed the triggers, but nothing happened. You desperately hit the gears in hopes of bringing it back to life to no avail. You braced yourself as you began to tumble to the ground. You closed your eyes, sadly accepting your fate as the strong winds caused a few curls to fall from your ponytail. You had lived and done your fair part for humanity. At least you had taken out a few titans before your death. You prepared yourself for impact until you felt an arm wrap around your waist, pulling you back up towards a roof. 

“Trying to get yourself killed?” You were greeted with a pair of steely yet breathtaking gray eyes. You felt like you were dreaming. Captain Levi was holding you in his arms like a knight in shining armor. 

“I wasn’t, but now I’m having second thoughts- especially if it means I get to be swept off my feet by you.” You bit back a cheeky grin as you searched his eyes. His frown remained pressed in on his features despite the flash of interest in his eyes. The longer you stood there, the more you grew aware of his arm still firmly wrapped around your waist. 

He kept looking at you like he was expecting something. There was something about you that he found intoxicating. Maybe it was that mouth of yours or the wind-blown mess of black curls. His eyes trailed up from your gaze to your hair, which was probably a mess if you were being completely honest with yourself. When his eyes looked back down into your own, you couldn’t help but get lost in their storm. “You’ve got quite the balls on you, rookie. Too bad, you’re an idiot.” 

It took everything in you not to hit that smug smirk off his face. “No more of an idiot than you are, Captain.” You knew you could get written up for the way you were speaking to the captain, but the threat only spurred you on further. “Only difference between us-,,” you pressed yourself closer to him until you could feel each breath, “is that my balls are bigger.” 

Levi’s smirk was replaced with a more intense look that could’ve been mistaken as hunger as he held you tighter. “Prove it, brat.”

You searched his face for a sign he was joking as you let out a nervous giggle. You slipped out of his grasp and checked your equipment when you realized he was dead serious. “I’m out of gas. The supply team never came.”

“Well, if you don’t want to die, I’d suggest you use whatever little brain you have and think.” He nodded towards an approaching titan. Levi crossed his arms as he watched you like a game.

The 5-meter beast stumbled through the damaged buildings, rushing towards you. It was only three buildings away and covering ground fast.

Your train of thought went a mile a minute. The increasing intensity of the quakes beneath your feet only helped spur it on. You took down your hair and quickly redid your bun as you thought. “Take me as high as you can with your gear, and I’ll handle the rest.”

He hesitantly agreed, wrapping his arm around you once again. Your breath caught in your throat as you both went flying through the air towards the stumbling beast. You knew your plan was half-assed, but you couldn’t help but have faith nonetheless.

Once you were directly above the titan, you gave Levi the signal to let go, sending yourself spiraling towards the figure below. Levi watched with a dumbstruck expression as you confidently twirled through the air. You dove as gracefully as you could be with any ODM gear to help guide you. 

“Damn idiot,” Levi muttered to himself as you drew your blades. He swooped in, loosely wrapping both arms around you from behind in an attempt to help guide you. Surprisingly you managed to slice a clean chunk of the titan’s neck almost instantly. Part of him wondered if you had even needed his assistance. He carried you back up to the rooftop and gently set you down in front of him.

You twisted your body to face your savior with a cheeky smile. You shouldn’t be surprised he stepped in with such ease considering his reputation. He had no doubt worked on countless team missions, but there was something about the way you worked together that felt so natural.

“Told you I could handle it,” you mused to the annoyed-looking man in a way that came off unintentionally sexual. You wiped your blade on your sleeves before putting them back in their holders.

Levi quickly averted your gaze with a quick ‘tch,’ surveying the area. You felt like fire in his arms, which made him unusually flustered. He dropped his arms to his sides as he took a step back. He didn’t expect you to take his challenge so easily and pull it off, especially since you were out of gas. He admired that you weren’t all talk, that you could actually handle yourself. It made each annoyingly snarky comment that came out of your mouth even more intoxicating. “W-we’ll fall back. My squad can handle the rest of these ugly bastards.”

 You turned to face him only to have him continue to avoid your gaze. When he finally met your gaze again, he held his hand out to you with an expectant look in his eyes. You hesitantly took it, cupping your hand in his. It felt like electricity coursed through your veins at his touch. He pulled you closer with an unsuspecting strength, wrapping his arm around your waist once again. 

He was so casual about it while your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest any second now. “Is this how you get all the women, Captain?” You chuckled in hopes of concealing your nervousness. The scolding look in his eyes and the tint of red emerging on his ears spurred your teasing flirtations on. “I’m just saying-,” you rested your hand on his chest, “- your arm is starting to feel real homey right there.”

Levi looked away once again, “tch. Are you trying to live or not, brat?” 

You snaked your arms around his neck and kept quiet. Once he seemed happy with your answer, you hopped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. You wanted to make sure you were as out of his way as you could be. That, and you wanted to see his reaction. You could practically see the vein bulging from his temple, but he made no effort to correct your stance. Instead, to your surprise, he moved one of his hands to hold your thigh as he made sure you were secure.

His grasp only lasted momentarily before they fell on the triggers. Taking off without being the one in control felt so different. You felt a rush of butterflies in your stomach, causing you to subconsciously wrap your legs tighter and bury your face in his neck. The more you breathed in his scent, the calmer you found yourself getting. He was like a safety blanket you never knew you needed yet never wanted to let go of.

You didn’t see much of Captain Levi once he dropped you off with the other trainees. He left without so much as a bye. Not that there was much time to anyway. You couldn’t dwell or even so much as daydream. The days that followed were filled with cleaning up the remnants of your fallen comrades. There were so many bodies that went unidentified; it made you sick to your stomach—the only person who was more torn up about it than you was Jean.

Graduation followed soon after. You were officially able to call yourself a Scout. The next morning you and the others who joined the scouts were led to a castle. It was cleaner than you thought it’d be. You took your time getting to know the castle, eventually stumbling upon the Mess Hall. 

There had to be at least a dozen scouts in the room, yet you could make out one voice above the others. You anxiously looked around to find the man behind the bored sounding voice. Within a few moments, you had found him, your eyes landing on the raven-haired man with tired eyes. He was sitting with his squad and Eren across the room.

“Hey y/n, if you’re gonna keep staring, you might wanna wipe the drool off your chin,” Connie teased as he walked up behind you.

“Seriously,” Jean joined in. He slipped into the space next to you, despite this side of the room being practically empty. “I don’t get what you see in him.” He shook his head, disapprovingly.

“I’m not staring at captain Levi, you nitwit,” you snapped quietly, already annoyed by their teasing. You kept your lips in a tight line as you tried to control yourself. “I was just imagining myself being part of the Special Operations Squad,” you grumbled. 

“Y’know,” Armin piped in, nearly scaring you from his sudden intrusion in the conversation. “Neither of them said anything about Captain Levi.” I could hear his cheeky yet bashful grin in his voice. Connie’s and Jean’s obnoxious laughter only made it worse.

You turned to Armin with a deathly glare and opened your mouth to say something. You quickly closed your mouth as he met your stare. With a huff you turned away, focusing back on Captain Levi. “You’re too smart for your own good sometimes.” You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything bad about him or be rude. Armin was the little angel of the group that you always had a soft spot for. You turned to Jean, eager to get the attention off of you. “Bet if it were you I was drooling over, you wouldn’t have an issue.” You watched him with a cocky grin, basking in his dumbfounded expression. 

“Just shut up, will ya,” he barked a tad louder than necessary as he crossed his arms like a child throwing a fit.

Your eyes wandered around the room while you laughed at his reaction. To your surprise, when your eyes landed on Levi again, he was already looking in your direction.

Everything Petra was telling him went in one ear and out the other once he spotted you across the room. He cursed himself for his heart skipping a beat. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to see you here. You were crazy enough to go after a titan when you had zero gas left in your ODM gear. What would stop you from joining the scouts? He wanted to go talk to you, to at least get to know your name, but he had to stay and talk to Petra. Levi watched helplessly as you practically ran out of the room.

You tried to stall going back down to the Mess Hall as you stood in your room fixing your hair. You sprinkled some water on your hair to revitalize your curls like you would a plant. You didn’t wear your hair down often since all the wind from using the ODM turned it into a mass of tangles. 

“If you aren’t coming, can I have your serving?” 

You laughed to yourself, not needing to open the door to know who was on the other side. “You touch my serving, and I’ll kick your ass.” Sasha greeted you with wide eyes as you opened the door. She looked you up and down with a stupid grin, making you feel slightly subconscious about wearing your hair down.

“You’re gonna make Jean lose it,” she beamed, quickly cut off by a loud growl from her stomach. She scratched the back of her neck bashfully, “s-sorry I only ate one loaf for lunch.”

“Sasha,” you started with a straight face, “that’s literally how much we always get.” She looked at you like you had said the most absurd thing ever, and you raised your hands in mock defense. “You can have my bread tonight then.” 

Sasha practically dragged you by your hand to the Mess Hall. You found a seat between Connie and Armin, who not so subtly kept sneaking glances at you. Before your butt even touched the seat, Sasha nabbed your loaf of bread, plopping down across from Connie. 

“You uh, you look-.” Armin was cut off by Jean as he made himself comfy across you.

“Wow. I, uh, like your hair like that.” Jean gaped at you with a stunned look on his face. You couldn’t help but feel a boost of confidence under his gaze. It was like you were the most beautiful girl in the world.

“Hey Je-ju,” you said as seductively as you could muster, batting your eyelashes at the man in front of you. It must’ve worked cause you could hear even Armin quietly sputter beside you. Jean hummed as he leaned in closer. “You’re drooling.” 

Jean was brought back to reality by your laughter. He sat upright and muttered something under his breath before focusing on his food. He almost found the laughter that followed yours from Connie and Sasha obnoxiously annoying. 

Your laughter died out as your eyes absentmindedly scanned the room. The room was full of faces you had never seen before. Full of people willing to lay their lives down for humanity. Everywhere you looked, people looked somewhat at ease except for the short man sitting across from the commander. Unlike the others in the room, a smile never graced his lips, just a permanent frown. “Give me a sec,” you announced to the others. 

Jean’s eyes followed yours, and he quietly sighed in annoyance. You shot him a half-apologetic smile before making your way over to the pair. You swiped two cups of tea on your way over, still trying to conjure up what exactly you’d say to either of them. 

Commander Erin was the first to notice your approach, pausing his conversation with Levi so he could look up at you. His piercing ocean eyes stared at you, making you nearly forget why you even went over. 

Your breath caught in your throat as Levi deadpanned to you with an icy stare. He rolled his eyes after a long moment of silence had passed. “Looking for something, rookie?”

His curt acknowledgment made the butterflies in your stomach go wild, filling you with an antsy warmth. You felt childish for getting this nervous around him. What if he doesn’t even remember you? With a steely breath, you calmed your nerves enough to start talking.“Y/n Y/l/n of the 104th Cadet Corps,” you saluted. Erwin nodded in acknowledgment, but Levi continued to stare at you like he was bored. “I- I thought maybe you two would like something to drink—” you set down the cups in front of them, “— I was also hoping I could speak to Captain Levi.”

Levi stared at you, checking you out as discreetly as possible. He was finally able to admire your hair now that it was out of a bun. Your curls were gorgeous, like nothing he had ever seen before. You were gorgeous. He got lost in the thought of being able to run his fingers through your hair, playing with each curl on your head. 

You couldn’t tell if the expression on his face was disapproval or if he was intrigued, but you carried on either way. “I was hoping to be under you.” You grimaced at the slip of my tongue, nervously biting your bottom lip. You desperately hoped that they didn’t notice how your cheeks now felt like they were on fire.

Levi raised an eyebrow, choking on the sip of tea he had taken. You noticed his ear transform into a light shade of pink. Commander Erwin held back an unmistakable chuckle, hiding his smirk behind his cup of tea. “Excuse me?” Levi asked once he finally managed to stop coughing, still unable to get himself to look you in the eye. He was sure it was a slip of the tongue, but that didn’t stop the rush of excitement coursing through his body. He had his eye on you since the first day he met you, and your slip up definitely wasn’t doing anything to help.

“A-apologies, I mean, I want to be part of the Levi squad.” You ignored his disapproving scoff. “I want to help retake wall Maria and eventually see outside of the walls.” You chewed your lip, thinking of what else to say.

His silence was growing more deafening by the second. You were suffocating in it. Any confidence you had quickly died out like a fire without oxygen. 

“You think going against the Titans once and not dying makes you qualified to be part of my squad,” he started in a condensing tone. “You’re not. I won’t make you a part of my squad so that you can go out and get yourself killed.” He didn’t what’d he do if you were to get hurt while being in his squad. Or even worse, he didn’t know how he’d react to having you so close. So he did the best thing for both of you: deny your place on the team.

“Then let me show you why I am qualified,” You interject, finally rediscovering your fight. Did he not remember how you took down the titan when you first met? Sure, you needed assistance, but only because you were out of gas. “Only thing that’ll kill me are natural causes, and I don’t consider those ugly bastards to be a natural cause. I’m going to help reclaim wall Maria even if I’m not a part of your squad.” You nodded at the commander out of respect before taking off back to your seat.

You plopped down in between Connie and Armin once again with an irritated huff. He was so cold, yet you still found yourself wanting more. Maybe that’s what really irritated you about the situation. 

“Take it your talk didn’t go well,” Armin asked sympathetically, cutting into your thoughts.

“Of course not; what’d you think you were doing just walking up to them like that,” Jean scolded you. You could hear the mixture of relief and triumph in his voice, but you said nothing about it.

“Well—” Sasha began as she stuffed her face with whatever food she had leftover, “— she’s not entirely wrong. They are just people. Scary, intimidating, and powerful, but still people.”

“Whatever you said clearly got their attention. Captain Levi has been staring at you since you left,” Mikasa said curtly, silencing any bickering among our group. 

All eyes found themselves on Levi, who carried on his conversation with Erwin. They looked back and forth between you and the captain, trying to piece together what they missed. Eventually, one by one, they lost interest, turning around to focus on their food or whatever new conversation they could create. Even then, his gaze never left yours- watching you through every nod, reply, or sips of tea. You were the first to break the staring contest, jumping back into conversations like nothing happened. 

It became a routine of sorts. You’d spend your days’ training with the others, doing your best to push Levi out of your mind long enough to focus on being the best in each exercise. Each night for the next couple of weeks, you would bring him a cup of tea during dinner. No words were ever exchanged, just stares and a cup. He never even said a thank you, not that you ever really expected one. 

“Why do you keep giving him drinks?” Eren looked at you with genuine curiosity as you prepared to give a cup of tea to Levi. 

You shrugged, unable to think of a real reason why. He never asked for it, thanked you for it, and he barely even acknowledged you for it. Yet you still gave him a cup of tea everyday. You stared at the cup in your hand. The warmth it provided was nothing compared to the warm feeling Levi caused inside of you. Maybe that was the answer. Or perhaps it was to help him look a little less tired. “Guess it’s one of life’s strange mysteries.” You shot Eren a half-hearted smile before getting up and walking over to Levi.

He was seated with the other captains, the four of them speaking in hushed voices despite the room being full of chatter. You had half a mind to turn around out of respect, but you were already close enough for Hange to notice you as they glanced up at the room. 

You probably could’ve still turned around since Levi hadn’t noticed yet. Instead, you hesitantly carried on, keeping your head down. Set the cup down and keep it moving. That was the plan. For once, you wanted to keep my head down, but that plan flew out the window as you felt his fingers brush against yours. You held the side of the cup since you had picked up that Levi only held his cups from above, but there he was. You looked up at him with a hitched breath, completely forgetting the other captains were there. The half-smirk on his face and his fingers still on top of yours made it hard to think, move, or even stand. He looked at you from the corner of his eye and let out a quiet pleased sound at your reaction.

You shared a quick knowing look at each other that didn’t go unnoticed by Hange before Levi moved his hand so you could leave. Hange waited until you and the other captains had walked off, quietly plotting the whole time. “So, you and one of the recruits huh,” Hange asked vaguely. Their eyes were wide with their typical borderline crazy look. Levi’s shrug told them everything they needed to know. This was a rare moment to be treasured. Levi has a crush. Or at least a fixation. “Y/l/n, right? She is quite the cutie. Think I’d have a chance?” Hange noticed Levi’s frown deepen as he sent them a threatening glare. Hange burst into a fit of laughter, “I was only kidding. I wouldn’t steal your crush, I probably could, but I wouldn’t.” Hange chose to ignore the subtle way Levi’s body tensed at the word crush. “Why not go talk to the girl? Y’know, only so much can get done by just staring.” With a supportive smile, Hange walked away, leaving the dining hall. 

“Just ask him out already,” Sasha blurted out with a mouth full of bread. 

You opened my mouth to protest, but Jean spoke first, “she’s not wrong.” He sat across from you and stared at you in discontent. “It’s painfully obvious that you like the man even though you two have barely spoken a word to each other.” His blunt words dripped with venom, but the hatred never reached his eyes. He still had the same tenderness in his eyes like the first time you saw him. If anything, he was hurt more than angry. Jean slid his cup over to you and mumbled under his breath, “guess I can’t judge much, though.”

You held the cup in your hands, watching the liquid slosh around for a moment before taking a sip. “Thank you, Jeanie.” You met his gaze with a shy smile and could see his expression soften a fraction. “I mean it.”

You looked between Jean and Sasha with a confused expression as his face suddenly hardened, and Sasha gaped like a fish at what was behind you. “What?”

“Y/l/n,” a voice piped up from behind you, causing your whole body to freeze.

You looked at Sasha, quietly asking for confirmation. She nodded, her eyes still zoned in on Levi. You cautiously turned around to see Levi standing beside you. You let out a quiet squeak as you clambered to your feet. “Yes, sir, captain Levi.” You gave him a quick salute. 

Levi almost found himself smiling at your sudden formality. It was cute seeing a different side of you. He averted your gaze but quickly looked back at you when his eyes fell on Jean. He was reminded it wasn’t just you at the table. “I need to speak with you.” He didn’t wait for a response as he began heading outside.

You gave the pair an apologetic smile before running off behind the captain. You walked in silence for a while, enjoying the cool autumn breeze blowing between the both of you. “Is something the matter, captain?”

Levi shook his head but remained quiet. The look in his eyes was strangely shy, something you didn’t even know he was capable of. It was almost like he was just as nervous as you were. You pressed the thought out of your head. “T-thank you-,,” he stopped in his tracks and turned to face you, “-for all the teas. I still won’t let you join my squad.”

“I know, that’s not why I do it.” You pushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 

Silence enveloped you once again, giving you time to admire his features. He was gorgeous under the moonlight. The little light somehow accentuated his strong jawline to the point where it almost rivaled commander Erwin’s. His usually lackluster eyes sparkled like the stars above. 

Unbeknown to you, he was admiring you just the same. Part of him wished your hair was down again, hoping to see the way your curls frame your face. You had an untouchable innocence in your eyes, the same eyes he always found himself getting drunk off of. He stopped himself once his thoughts began to go back to his first encounter with you, reminding him of how you felt in his arms. You were right, his arm did feel at home around your waist. 

“There’s no point in having any relationship,” Levi eventually said more to himself than to you. “Either of us could die to those bastards at any moment, and I’m probably older than you think.”

You failed to hold back your giggles as a cocky smile pressed in over your lips. “I never said anything about a relationship either, captain. You came to that conclusion all on your own. Who’s to say I’m even interested? Maybe I’m just really nice.”

Levi took a challenging step closer, “You’re not.” The corners of his mouth turned up into a cocky smirk. “I wasn’t born yesterday-.”

“Oh, I know, old man,” you quipped, taking your own step forward. 

“Tch. Dumb brat, a few cups of tea isn’t going to get me to fall for you.”

You closed the small gap between you, leaving barely enough room for the wind between you. Your body yearned to be closer to the warmth that radiated from him. “All your stares say otherwise. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve liked me since we first met, captian.”

He leaned down until you could feel his breath on your lips. Every inch of his body craved you. Against his better judgment, he wrapped an arm around your waist. The air between you was electric, only helping to light every inch of your body on fire. He pulled you flush against him, relishing the feeling of having you in his arms again. It was too much like a dream to him. A dream he felt he desperately needed to wake up from. “It’s a good thing you know better.” With that, he walked away. 

You were left hanging, the cool autumn breeze feeling more like an arctic chill now. You wanted to yell or pull him back towards you, but instead, you stood there mentally throwing a fit like a child who didn’t get their way. 

You took your time getting back to your room, forcing yourself to go to sleep as soon as you sat on your bed. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep. Levi invaded your thoughts. You weren’t sure when or how, but you eventually drifted off into sleep. 

The next morning you prepped for the 57th Expedition despite the heaviness in your eyes. 

“Geez, you look dead,” Jean chuckled as he helped you up onto your horse. His hand stayed a little longer on your hip than necessary, but you chose not to say anything. He waited until you were completely situated before removing his hand. 

“Yeah, you’ve got more eye bags than captain Levi,” Connie laughed as he hopped onto his horse beside you. 

You rolled your eyes, probably closing them longer than necessary. “Shut up.” You pulled your hood over your eyes, “stop goofing off and focus on the mission. 

“Ah, Y/n, right,” an unfamiliar voice called out to you. Their footsteps quickly approached you, stopping short by the side of your horse. You looked in their direction, greeted by Hange with an eerily cheeky smile. It was like looking at a child with a secret who desperately wanted to spill. “Glad I could catch you.”

“C-captain Hange!” You quickly removed your hood with a bashful smile. “Yes, that’s right.”

Hange’s smile grew wider, causing you to glance at Connie and Jean for some sort of help. “I was told to come wake up a certain brat.” They handed you the steaming cup of tea carefully. 

You tried to hide your blush behind the cup as you drank quickly. It wasn’t the best tea you’ve ever had, but it certainly got the job done. With every sip, you could feel yourself gaining a little more energy to carry you through the day. Your mind wandered to Levi, probably already in his formation. After last night you thought he wouldn’t want to ever talk to you again, yet here he was sending you a cup of tea. You handed back the cup with a thankful smile, “guess he’s a softie after all.”

Hange laughed and shook their head, “I’ve met titans easier to understand than you two. Don’t go dying on him out there, rookie.” With that, Hange left, finding their place in the formation. 

The warmth from the tea didn’t last you long. Things quickly went to shit. It was arguably worse than the Battle of Trost. Everyone knew to wear their hoods to conceal their identities, but they didn’t know exactly why until she showed up. The female titan wiped out forces in the blink of an eye, but no retreat was called. Instead, you were ordered to perch the branches of the Titan Forest, acting as a distraction. Countless soldiers were lost, including all of Captain Levi’s squad except for Eren, before an eventual retreat was called. 

Upon arrival, the scouts were ordered to turn in Eren, but you couldn’t seem to bring yourself to care. Not when you had heard the word of Levi being injured. Your mind went into a frenzy with panic. You just needed to see him. You needed to know how badly he was injured. You needed to see for yourself he was okay. 

Without thinking, you barged into Levi’s quarters, only to run directly into Commander Erwin’s solid chest. You quickly stepped back, muttering various sorries despite the amused sound that left the commander. You didn’t waste any time making your way into the room once Erwin walked off.

“Knocking does exist, brat-” Levi was cut off by you flinging your arms around his neck. He couldn’t do this, not now. He couldn’t let himself indulge in the butterflies in his stomach or the soothing feeling of your embrace. He had just lost his entire squad, and the mission was a disaster. He didn’t have time for this right now. Levi lifted his hands to push you away but stopped short at the quiet sound of your sniffling. 

“I was- I.” You couldn’t seem to find the right words. Part of you wanted to thank him for the tea, while the other wanted to let him know how worried you were about him. You wanted to tell him that as inconsiderate as it might be, all you could do out there was hope he was still alive. Instead, you clung to Levi, your heart pouring itself out through your eyes and onto his ascot. You could feel his rigid frame slowly melting into your embrace.

Levi’s breaths grew labored as the embrace carried on. It was like he could feel all of your emotions, the grief, the relief, the guilt. He felt everything, and it mixed with his own feelings. He forced himself to muster enough strength to gently push you away by the shoulders. He wanted you to be upset, to stop this stupid display of affection that sent his heart into overtime.

“I-I told you already, dumb brat, that I don’t like you.”

“Then stop me,” you whispered with a wavering voice.You were done playing games. The vast number of comrades that were slaughtered by the female titan reminded you just how close everyone was to death. You’d be damned if you died before getting this opportunity. Slowly you closed the distance between your lips until you could feel his breath ghosting over your lips. “Tell me that cup wasn’t from you. Tell me I was alone in hoping you were safe while we were out there.” You hated how your voice was breaking with each statement. “Tell me I’m the only one who’s heart is about to leap out of their chest.” You nervously pressed your lips against his, relishing in his warmth.

Levi responded instantly, kissing you with a bruising force. Desire for you took over every thought until he yearned nothing more than to touch and be touched. He squeezes your hips possessively, pulling you flush against him. He couldn’t tell you any of those things, and you knew it. He sent you the cup at a point of weakness. Even as he fought the female titan, you managed to invade his thoughts until he had half a mind to go look for you. He wanted to protect you with the same ardor Mikasa had to protect Eren. You had somehow seen past his stoic walls, and it only fueled his hunger for you. 

Your hands fumbled with his ascot, stepping back once you set his neck free from it. You watched his eyes darken with an almost lustful look as you wrapped the piece of fabric into a bow around your ponytail. A quiet groan escaped his lips as your lips devoured his now exposed neck. Every nip and open mouth kiss made him weak in the knees, completely forgetting the dull pain in his ankle.

“You’re the only cup of tea I need.” The words fell from his kiss swollen lips before they even registered in his brain.

You broke into a bashful smile, his words stirring up a new kind of giddiness inside of you. “That was the cheesiest yet cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” You halted your assault on his neck to look up at him, “I didn’t think you had it in you. It almost puts my comment about coming close to death so you can sweep me off my feet to shame.” You pecked his lips as his usual annoyed expression returned. “Kinda sounds like you like me, Captain.”

“Get out,” Levi grumbled embarrassedly, causing you to giggle. The sound was equivalent to a clean room, filling him with a sense of pride and happiness. He could feel his ears burning as if someone was holding a flame to them. 

“Not until you tell me if I’m just any cup or your cup.”

“Relationships are pointless,” Levi answered. The look in your eye told him you weren’t going to let him rest until he gave a straight answer. “I’d like it if you were mine.”

You pressed a quick kiss to his lips, “I know. And for the record, I’d like if you were mine too,” you called over your shoulder as you walked out the door. 

You had already left the hall by the time Levi noticed you left with his ascot still tied around your ponytail. His usually private persona was pushed out the window by a sense of pride. You were his and that ascot made it clear as day.

Your new hair accessory and Levi’s suddenly missing ascot didn’t go unnoticed at dinner. Nor did the marks on Levi’s neck that Hange kept eyeing and giggling about. 

Levi could feel a smile threatening to spread across his lips as you walked with him back to his quarters after everyone left the Mess hall. You didn’t even let him go near his desk, carefully pushing him towards his bed as you fussed about him needing rest. Humanity’s strongest soldier was being babied by a brat with a big mouth and a bigger heart. 

Levi chuckled to himself as you climbed into bed with him. He hesitantly allowed you to pull him into your arms. He pressed his forehead against yours as he allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of your fingers running through his hair. He absentmindedly twirled one of your still damp curls around his finger. A comfortable silence filled the room as you both admired each other. You slid your free hand into his, lacing your fingers together. You pressed your lips to his knuckles as you came to the quiet realization that he was going to be your new reason to live. Being beside him felt like a breath of fresh air and you promised yourself you would do everything you could to hold onto him. You were going to see the world outside of the walls with him. 

He didn’t expect it, but your soothing touch lulled him into one of the best periods of sleep he’s had in years. Every time he woke up, you were still there with your hand in his. You made him think of a life outside of this normal. A life with you at his side as his wife and the mother of his children. Levi pulled you closer as he drifted back to sleep. You were going to be the death of him, and in a titan filled world, he couldn’t think of any better way to go.