#but there's also zero (0) gay people around so like. is that proof in and of itself??

[lloydfrontera]

ok so you know how in china 'cut sleeve' was used as an euphemism for homosexuality. that but in lorasia they use 'lullaby singer'. or 'angel fighter'. lately 'knightly escort' is making the rounds. there's a lot of euphemisms for gay people actually.

[savrenim]

What does a “mathematical brain” mean ? My math teacher told me he didn’t know why I couldn’t get good grades in math because I have the mind for it so I’m very confused by what having a mathematical mind is supposed to be.

I really don't think there is such a thing as a mathematical brain? Especially because math is a huge subject, and different parts of it require very differently skills and instincts. Writing off an entire subject as "your brain is just good or bad at it/ you're just pre-disposed to be good or bad at it" is bullshit, especially in math, where any given problem will have multiple solutions and especially when you're first learning standard maths taught through the calculus sequence and not where it all came from and how it all connects with each other the best way to go about remembering how to do everything in my opinion is find the one way that really makes sense to you, and then stick to it.

I will say that "I am bad at languages" / "My brain is just bad at languages." The actual truth of the matter is, I'm... not bad, like, I certainly don't have any sort of auditory processing disorder, but at the very least sub-optimal at purely auditory processing. I am very bad at remembering people's names or hearing them right in the first place unless I see them written down in front of me, rip my DM for having to send me character lists every new arc of gay murder elf bachelorette or I just will call everyone the wrong name, I cannot do 'listening to podcasts' really well, I don't bother with audiobooks, etc. Very specifically, if something is purely auditory with no visual component attached, it seems like my brain just doesn't interpret it or remember it correctly. And again, this definitely isn't a disorder or anything! I mildly prefer subtitles, but I watch movies without subtitles just fine all the time. I can listen to podcasts so long as I have an appropriate activity like driving or cooking or laundry that I'm doing at the same time occupying just enough brainpower. I have zero problems with my hearing, zero problems with speaking to people in English, zero problems in general with learning/ learning disability. But oh boy, trying to learn a different spoken language. I did just fine, in fact straight As because tests were written, in six years of Spanish and three years of French, but I cannot for the life of me understand a single word in one of those languages. Despite the fact that I can still somewhat read French. The spoken bit never clicked. Teachers asked me why I did not join the honors sequence or even the AP sequence for the languages I was in because I was so good at it and I externally went "my courseload is busy enough" and internally went "you mofos those classes would actually grade me on the oral bits, I can do this now bc I'm good at charts and grammar and written things and memorization, but that will not make me good at speaking the language."

I am fairly certain if I devoted years to it and tried really hard, I could learn to speak a different language. I deeply admire people who do learn other languages. But it's Hard for me and I've decided to use my time for Other Things, and that's okay.

The thing with math is that it's similar. If you're dealing with anything up to and through a college calculus sequence, there are specific skills you'll be using and depending on how those skills are taught, they may or may not align with your natural instincts. For me, math is pretty much visualization. A lot of working with functions and manipulating values and what-not is at least for me something that I did with internal sketches of what was happening the whole time. For example, why is the solution to |x-a|<b a single interval but |x-a|>b two intervals? Well, the picture in your head of a number line, and think of point "a" and distance "b" then you're either highlighting "distance b close to a" or "distance b away from a". Or what is the domain and range of f(x)=8/(x^2-16). Well, the picture of x^2-16 is a parabola but most importantly it has zeroes at 4 and -4 and a minimum of -16, so once that sketch is in your head you kind of. Instinctively reconstruct the reverse sketch of 8/(x^2-16) by thinking of where it's positive, where it's negative, where it goes to 0, to infinity, or hits a local maximum/minimum.

For higher maths, the only thing that I can really think of in terms of having a "mathematical brain" is training oneself in formal logic for proofs. But again, that involves way more learning of tools (proof by contradiction, proof by induction, proof by construction) and figuring out on your own how to make them work for you than any one given particular type of skill. A lot of actual math research though is fucking around playing around with things until you see what stuff actually sticks. Whole bunch of trial and error trying to get things to work, and them either working or not.

I think the public perception of what makes a "good mathematical brain" is probably something along the lines of: (1) an exact/precise person, whatever that is supposed to mean, (2) someone good at memorization, and (3) someone who seems logical/organized? But that is kind of delving into stereotypes and way less what actually makes people good at math. But also I'm pretty sure pretty much every person has their own internal stereotypes, and a teacher will probably have their own specific stereotypes after teaching a class for years about which general types of students are usually good or bad.

But mostly, flat-out? Any teacher who tells you something like that is a shitty teacher, and fuck them.

[casual-eumetazoa]

For the latest ask thingy: 13, 25 & 100

13. Do you believe in reincarnation?

Nah, but it is a more appealing sort of after-life for me than something like heaven. There's something uniquely hopeful about imagining that you get a second (or many more) attempts at life. On the other hand, I'm not sure whether being reincarnated with zero memories of your previous life and no continuity of consciousness is any different from just dying, but yeah. It's a cool idea.

25. How fluid is your concept of gender and sexuality?

More fluid than I thought as a teenager I guess?

When I was around 13-16 years old, I was a hardcore materialist scientific skeptic with some, uh, let's say disdain for humanities and social sciences, and I felt like for something to be "real", it needed to be grounded in biology or physics or something like that. So I was really into those studies that found The Gay Gene or The Gender Area of the Brain, cause I thought it validated my gender and sexuality. And then I changed my mind about my gender like fifty thousand times, transitioned, and had a change of sexuality - and also saw the same thing happen to a bunch of friends / acquiantances / etc who went on HRT.. and now I'm not so sure.

I identified as bisexual since puberty and it was something I was 100% certain about - I had crushes on girls, I rarely watched or read porn that had anyone other than women in it, etc. And then I went on T and now I am as gay as one can get. And I know people for whom it was the other way around as well. So the whole idea of the one gay gene or one brain area kinda doesn't sit well with me anymore. Obviously there's biology behind it, cause everything psychological is biological, but also, I sort of stopped caring? As far as I'm concerned, change your labels as many times as you want, I need 0 proof of whatever the fuck, I will respect the label regardless.

100. What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in?

The most not-grounded one I have is multiverse/parallel universes I guess. It is a tiny bit scientific, as in, it isn't impossible, and it is discussed on an academic level, but still. Pure speculation. And yet it somehow just makes sense to me for whatever reason. As in, I have a very strong intuition that it's true. Which is weird, but there you go.

I am spiritual I guess, but I have a really weird idea of spirituality that is compatible with hardcore materialism, so yeah, idk. I was planning to make a video essay about it, but currently my thesis is eating up all of my brain power, so no idea when I'll get to scripting it.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[goodnight-vale]

Gonna put this here instead of on the RP blog since I dont check this as often, but like.

has maybe FNDM considered that Clover’s death is not for Qrow or for his man pain, but has broader meanings and implications? 

There has only been a handful of major character deaths in RWBY to this point, and the great majority of them were villains (Roman, Leonardo, Adam, Vernal is in a weird grey area because of her bandit status). The two hero/protag deaths were Penny (who’s death was later undone) and Pyrrha, Clover now joins their ranks. 

Lets really look at the situation at large. First, RWBY has been making mistakes left and right. They’ve already proven that their goals have led to tunnel vision and that they dont see the larger picture or the consequences of their actions. This is proven time and time again, and for the most part, not only has RWBY faced 0 (zero) consequences, they’ve gotten exactly what they wanted every time. They’ve gotten rewarded for this behavior even before there were stakes. By rights, RWBY should have seen Argus get wrecked because of their attempt to steal an airship and the subsequent fight that destroyed the mech that was specifically designed to fight the godzilla grimm. But they didnt.

This time around, RWBY has messed up again. They went behind Ironwood’s back. All of them had been around ronwood enough recently to know he was paranoid and suffering from PTSD after the fall of Beacon. And yet, Blake and Yang still went behind his back, disobeyed orders, and didnt even bother to hide their fingerprints. 

Actions have consequences.

As far bas as volume 3, Ironwood had given off signals that he was a Might is Right sort of leader with authoritarian leanings. Salem managed to trigger his PTSD so badly that he went full authoritarian military dictator, which he could do since he’d consolidated power in Atlas for years. So naturally, when there was a clear and present challenge to that power, he moved to remove it.

This is what Salem does, she divides. The plan to get all the people of Mantle up to Atlas, and then yeet it up above the Grimm was working. They had time. But remember, Ironwood had Watts’ bag in his office while he made these plans. Salem could listen in on everything and knew exactly what to say to trigger a response. She got what she wanted - Ozpin’s inner circle further divided and fighting amongst each other. 

Now Atlas’ greatest soldiers are decimated. The AceOps are defeated with broken auras and their leader is dead. Winter Schnee is out of commission, but that one we can lay on Cinder’s doorstep.

Now that all that background bs is out of the way, time to look at Clover and Qrow. For one thing, you really need to take the shipping goggles off while you look at this scene. And for another, you have to compare and contrast Clover to his foil of Winter Schnee. They get the information at the same time. They both seem to struggle with it. Winter has an emotional conversation about doing what’s right versus doing what you’re told. That conversation never enters Clover’s head. He says later on right before he dies that he would do anything for Ironwood, which is a sentiment that Winter shares.

And yet, Winter gives her sister and her friends a head start in getting away. 

Clover insists on arresting Qrow at any cost, even trying manipulation and arresting/subduing him in a fight instead of first going after their other escaped prisoner.

Actions have consequences.

Its really. really important to read body language all through episode 12. Clover’s expression has shut down into a professional mask. He’s not angry at all during that fight, but he is determined to do his job. We know he’s not bad, but he does have to bury personal feelings to follow his orders and get the job done. He’s dissociating so he can get his job as a soldier done. “Why cant you do whats right instead of what you’re told.” Instead of wrestling with his conscience like Winter does, he pushes all that out of his mind. 

Furthermore, Tyrian Callows is right there, egging on literally everyone. He also is following his mistress’ orders of sowing division and chaos. He is also a serial killer who likes manipulating and harming his prey. Other people better at meta than me have pointed out how Tyrian has verbally manipulated the shit out of everyone in that plane to start a fight, and on the ground, he was physically manipulating Qrow, purposefully getting into his head so when the obvious consequences happened (someone fucking DIED) it would frame Qrow for it physically, and frame it in Qrow’s mind that he was responsible for this.

All of Qrow’s body language says that he was reluctant to fight. All of Clover’s hesitation before getting involved, the fact that the two of them stopped the fight when Clover’s aura broke... that all indicates that neither of them wanted to do this. But Salem won. Salem managed to create a divide betewen the two of them so deep it was inevitable that Clover died.

But Clover’s death is not for Qrow. Its for us the audience to see that no one is immune from death, not even a popular character that people like and care about. Its for team RWBY because its the first tangible proof that their actions have consequences, and those consequences are sometimes not direct, but have far reaching ripples. The stakes are raised higher than they’ve ever been and RWBY contributed to that.

In conclusion, episode 12 was not about Shocking the Audience with a graphic death, or Burying the Gays, or Out of Character. Its a complex scene that really gets to the heart of this season’s theme: there’s a war on and no one has a good solution, but a lack of proper communication or cooperative/collaborative spirit will lead to people getting killed and Salem winning the fight. Also, maybe find a less obvious way of subverting the baby dictator.

[womenofultron-blog]

Episode 15

**6 episodes left? what the fuck? is that allowed? wtf?

ugh. tj and kira. 0/10 on yelp

man, this last “previously on” intro was fuckin aggressive, is this truly that part of season 3 of any good disney show where it gets super real really quickly? why? why does it have to be that time?

look at how sad but resigned cyrus looks. tj what’s going on

OH FUCK THIS IS THAT SCENE!! THE SCENE WHERE KIRA’S LIKE IM RIGHT HERE!! ITS THIS EARLY??? WOW

wow tj’s heterophobia is real present in the way he says “couple” this is so gay i cant believe anyone ever told us otherwise

(also i know people were saying kira gave tj a scare by reminding him of some homophobia,, is that now? later? was that when she guilted him into doing her costume idea? i need answers)

this entire scene is art??? like its poetic on such a foundational level that oscar wilde is crying in his grave

“where?” he says it so openly. its really an intrusive question, its unspecific bc youd think hed be more concerned about who or why but he really is just asking so he can get the proof that cyrus is really needed somewhere. but it’s said with zero physical involvement otherwise, as if the question rolls off his tongue without connecting with the rest of his body. he registers that he asked the question, but he doesn’t judge himself or backpedal. “where?” but what he means is “don’t go. i’ve missed you, and if you do want to be around me then i have to know for sure that you’d rather stay. but if you don’t, and going is an easy choice, then i hope you let me down easy. go on, lie to me; let me revel in believing you.”

anyways, that was gay and dramatic,

i am all for the good hair crew saving the casualties of capitalism ngl. young people are the real icons of socialism

“what’s a pencil skirt??” jonah would be so much less of a movie!ron weasley if he learned to google things

cece’s gift will seriously make me cry oh my godddddd. (sidenote: how the fuck does she know exactly how that moment looked? does she spy on them?) (sidenote 2: i am absolutely gonna add a side-by-side of snowglobe macks and actual macks proposing onto my to-do list)

oh my fucking god this really hit hard for bex

“it’ll go great with his eyes.” “it will!”

how do you spell gay disaster? T-Y-R-U-S

there is nothing NOTHING hetero about this swings scene.

they look good together?? AGAIN. NOTHING HETERO ABOUT BEING LIKE “its okay they make a good couple” THAT MEANS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED WAS TO BE THAT COUPLE WITH HIM. BUFFY KNOWS AND I LOVE HER

“hey jonah!” “seriously?” “he has nice eyes too” LITERALLY HIS OLD CRUSH. WHAT THE FUCK IS SUBTEXT I DONT KNOW HER

the only inaccuracy about them getting detained is that irl buffy would be kicking around unable to breathe because she has pepper spray on her face, while andi would be isolated in another cell with men who have committed violent crimes, and jonah and cyrus would be off the hook trying desperately to get back in lol

First Time Watching Andi Mack: Season 3 (Part 2)

read part 1 here! or start from the beginning of my liveblog at season one here!

i’m so fucking psyched for the rest of this season. i’m gonna cry so much. also a very dramatic reminder to email Disney and ask nicely for them to give the right for andi mack to Hulu so they can continue the show!!! email feedback@disney.co.uk and datgcommunications@abctv.com just saying that and why you love the show.

that’s all! thanks guys! happy watching!

[pass-the-bechdel]

Sherlock season four full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

33.33% (one of three).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

41.33%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

One (episode two ‘The Lying Detective’ (46.66%)).

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Zero.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Ten. Five who appear in at least two episodes, and four who appear in all three episodes.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Nineteen. Four who appear in at least two episodes, and four who appear in all three episodes.

Positive Content Status:

None. Any positive aspects this show may ever have possessed are herein systematically destroyed to form one of the most outrageously offensive collections I have seen in years (average rating of 1.6).

General Season Quality:

Also none. The second episode shows some glimmers of intelligence only to quash them utterly when it reveals its twist; the rest is often as dull and basic as it is idiotic and insulting. 0/10 I heartily do not recommend. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Well. At least I’m not stuck for content to discuss, right? Instead, I have so much to disparage I couldn’t possibly fit it all into this post without running five times the length of a typical season review; it’s amazing that they managed to commit so many atrocities in just four-and-a-half hours of television. And on a show that has sold itself on being so smart and intellectually stimulating, too! This season aired in amidst the latest season of Teen Wolf, a show that absolutely does not claim to be aimed at the intellectual crowd and which nevertheless has been tackling the concept of metaphysical existence (no, really) and asking some truly fascinating and emotionally powerful questions about the human relationships it has spent six years building up in all their intricately believable splendour, at the same time as telling some of the most tightly-woven, moving and bombastically entertaining mystery narratives I have ever had the pleasure to sit through. I’m just saying, between the two shows, I know which one has come through the more brilliantly with drama, suspense, poignancy, and above all cleverness. Unfortunately, I’m here right now to talk about the stupid show, not the smart one.

This final season of Sherlock seemed determined to convince us all that Sherlock himself is the best guy ever, the ‘good man’ that Lestrade always hoped he would be (Lestrade was graciously allowed to cameo for the purpose of proclaiming that this was so, in what was definitely not a random, awkward, and overly-manufactured moment at all). As proof of Sherlock’s best-ness, we were treated to a season full of other characters treating Mycroft like utter crap just in case the audience might have thought he was the better guy (which, let’s be real, he is), the woman in John’s life was briskly killed off so that she could leave posthumous DVD messages telling John and Sherlock to be together forever because they’re like, meant to be and obviously they’re The Most Important and she was just in the way of their love (but like, p.s. also they’re super hetero and not gay, ew), and Sherlock was gifted a secret psychotic sister so that he could defeat another female adversary using his Superior Manly Compassion whilst the plot simultaneously completely ignored the horrendous psychological abuses this plot foisted on all three Holmes’ since childhood. I mean, if we acknowledged the psychological impact of all this stuff we’d have to admit that Mycroft has actually done a magnificent job of taking care of his little brother and of achieving something meaningful with his life despite the weight of emotional responsibilities placed on him as a kid and the apparent neglect and utter uselessness of the Holmes parents (who are themselves looking a whole lot less like the kooky comic relief season three wanted them to be), and in acknowledging that we’d also have to acknowledge the reality of the emotional strains that the Holmes brothers have been denying themselves all along and THEN we’d have to admit that treating Mycroft like crap for doing his best with an awful situation is pretty problematic really and that would undermine the season-long insistence that Mycroft sucks, wouldn’t it? No, we must ignore all this stuff: the point is that Sherlock has a crazy sister, and that even if she’s intellectually smarter than him he’s better than her because he Has Emotions, and Mycroft is trash because the emotions he has are inconvenient to the narrative purpose we’re trying to push! Mycroft bad! Emotions bad! Except when it’s extremely limited emotion displayed by a self-absorbed consulting detective who otherwise spends all of his time being manipulative and openly cruel to the people in his life! Man, Sherlock is the best. I wish I could be like him.

Sherlock is, of course, so much the best that he has a long history of drugging his friends and family against their wills, and no one cares about the breach of trust and consent after the fact! He’s so much the best that he wins the heart of a lesbian woman, not to mention the enduring affections of the coroner whom he uses and abuses for LITERAL YEARS, a woman who apparently continues to love him no matter how often he insults her publicly or manipulates her to get access to her workplace, a woman who supposedly keeps right on loving him even after he has failed to change his ways after being called out, and even after she got engaged to another man, and on and on through all the emotional devastation so that she can show up at his flat all smiles in the closing montage of the show. But of course we already knew that Sherlock could be as horrible as he liked without risking the loss of friendship or support; look at John Watson, who stays despite the drugging and being treated like a lab rat, and the trauma of the two years Sherlock was faking being dead, and that time Sherlock pretended a bomb was about to blow up and incinerate them both, and the ACTUAL VIOLENT DEATH OF HIS WIFE (which admittedly had the all-important plot purpose of making John frosty toward Sherlock for a little bit before he was manipulated into caring again, because that’s how good healthy relationships work with wonderful people like Sherlock). And Mrs Hudson puts up with him despite how he treats her like a doormat AND shoots holes in her walls, and Lestrade puts up with him despite the literal crimes Sherlock commits and the havoc he wreaks upon Lestrade’s career, and of course Mycroft puts up with him despite the political strings he has to pull to keep Sherlock out of trouble, up to and including helping Sherlock get away with literal cold-blooded premeditated murder in front of multiple witnesses. No big. Sherlock is a wonderful guy (but clearly Mycroft is the worst ever). No wonder both Moriarty and Eurus focused all their cleverest evil plots on Sherlock, when he’s the centre of the universe and also the Best Ever! It all makes sense now! How clever! (love how the dastardly Moriarty plot from beyond the grave was just that he had recorded a handful of annoying ticking noises for Eurus to play while she got Sherlock to play some Murder Games. That’s amazing plotting, right there, and definitely worth letting Sherlock get away with murder scot-free. But hey, at least making Moriarty’s ‘revenge’ against Sherlock into a large part of Eurus’ plans handily makes her actions not only all about Sherlock, but about Moriarty as well, because it was very gross for a second there when it seemed like Eurus might have some agency of her own. Maybe if she was her own person instead of just another Sherlock-obsessed shill, she would have done better things with her time and talents than making some bland Murder Games in her Island Prison and occasionally sneaking to the mainland to smile at Watson on a bus. I mean, what? Wow, I’m super-convinced that she is the smartest one and also capable of controlling people to do her bidding just by talking to them and all that other crap. Yes, she is surely the scariest and most capable villain who really just needs a hug. This makes loads of sense and is very compelling). 

Urgh. Y’all get it. If you watched it yourselves (my condolences) you hardly need me to tell you how bad it was. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so condescendingly offensive, so obviously plot-holed and yet smugly insistent about its own supposed intelligence.  And that’s before we even acknowledge the queer baiting, the dearth of racial diversity in the cast, or the dedicated policy of misogyny that demands no woman be allowed to pass through the story without being mistreated by Sherlock and then falling in love with him anyway (and if she refuses? If she doesn’t fall for Sherlock, if she doesn’t let him become the centre of her world, if she questions or opposes him? She’s trash, she’s shallow and unlovable, she’ll come out on the wrong side of the story after being manipulated by the villains (I note that no one is ever held accountable for being manipulative in this show, it’s always the victims of manipulation who are treated like idiots for being fooled. Fuck that sincerely)). The only real exception to the rule is Mary, but she commits the crime of being too involved in the story by virtue of being married to one of the leading men, and that means she’s gotta go. This is a story about two men being men and solving crimes! Being smarter than other people and rubbing their noses in it and laughing and sucking each other’s dicks (metaphorically, not literally, that’s queer and we only want Hella Hetero male leads, damn)! Don’t you just love a manly man who runs around town with his just-a-friend manly hetero male friend and solves crimes and is patronising to other people for being less smart than him and more mature and whatnot because omg isn’t it everyone’s fantasy to just be smarter than everyone and be a straight white male and therefore be able to get away with anything? Yeah-huh, that’s what I thought. Obviously there’s no room for women (who are stupid and annoying and too emotional for crime-solving, probably), so is it any surprise that Mary dies, really? She kept John busy while Sherlock was ‘dead’, but now Sherlock is back so we don’t need Mary anymore! She understands, of course, that’s why she sacrifices herself for Sherlock, but only after being prescient enough to prepare some messages encouraging the severe emotional manipulation of her grieving husband so that he can fall back into Sherlock’s clutches and they can live happily ever after in a not-gay way! What an important plot device Mary proved to be. I’m glad she was there to be the a-typical woman-thing to help the plot in a different way to the other boring woman-things, aren’t you? Gee it’s good. What a clever show. I gotta go cleanse my palate now, but definitely not because this show leaves a bad taste in my mouth that sends my sarcasm into overdrive so that I can do something other than keysmash angrily. Ahem. When’s the next episode of Teen Wolf?