#but there’s something about how it’s become sort of routine and how they’ve LESSENED/STOPPED after having soda with him

[dallasgallant]

Soda started to sleep with Pony because his nightmares got so bad after their mom and dad died, it started as something temporary but then he was relied on. He doesn’t even flinch anymore if Pony whines or shakes, he just tossed his arm over his brother and pulls him close again. And it helps.

It’s become almost mundane, they happen a whole lot less than they had at the beginning. Pony mentions that if they do happen they aren’t as bad to wake Soda, so he just snuggles close and tries to get back to sleep.

[minmotl]

Chapter 46: Tang Fan Spends His First New Year with Sui Zhou and Ah Dong

Context: Nothing much really happens between Chapter 44 and 46, except that Tang Fan’s teacher disagrees with the Emperor on a particular topic and is sort of demoted/sent away to some faraway province. Tang Fan and Pan Bin are not sure how to advice their teacher on this - on one hand, they know that their teacher is stubborn and has his reasons for his views, but Tang Fan, despite knowing how his teacher is, tries to persuade him to make peace with the Emperor and his teacher gets angry. He tells Sui Zhou of his dilemma, but they also agree there isn’t much that can be done and Tang Fan sends their teacher off with the rest of the students. 

This chapter doesn’t have much link to Chapter 45. We begin with the imminent Lunar New Year and how the Tang and Sui family prepare for it. Sui Zhou turns up at the end, and it’s more of Tang Fan and Ah Dong in this, but it was cute and I thought I’d translate it anyway.

Introduction Post | Masterpost

—

Highlights under the cut

Tang Fan cannot remember how long it has been since he got to spend the New Year properly and fully. His parents died early and after his sister married far away, the importance he placed on such a holiday decreased. Being an official all by himself in Jing city, he has spent the holiday in increasingly colder and lonelier fashion. He is already used to staying in his house alone, relaxing as he reads his fiction novels and keeping warm by the fire.

However, even though it is already a habit for him, in reality, when Ah Dong gleefully and very obviously begins to hang up chun lian and eating fruits, the memories that have long been hidden somewhere deep in his mind resurfaces.

Even though Ah Dong is still young, she is after all a young lady and knows how to dress up with her clever hands. She is much more meticulous and can think of a greater number of things, so she’s responsible for everything inside and outside of the house. Aside from putting up chun lian, men like Tang Fan and Sui Zhou will never think of hanging up some red lanterns at the corridors to increase the festive spirit, for example.

Closer to the end of the year, the affairs that Shun Tian Prefecture has to deal with has also gradually lessened, but the Northern Administrative Court on the other hand, is only getting busier. Sui Zhou leaves the house early and returns late every day, so only Tang Fan is able to go home early to help out.

However, he is obviously not the type to excel at housework. He can even lose the cloth he’s using while he’s wiping at things and Ah Dong pushes him outside, looking down on him, “Da-ge, don’t make things even messier than they are. Go and write a pair of chun lian, and don’t forget to write the word for ‘prosperity’. Every house has to have one!”

Tang Fan laughs, “I’ve already written them and stuck them all up. Even my sister isn’t as naggy as you are!”

He ends up leaning against the pillar and watches as Ah Dong busies herself, scrambling about. His heart is all warm, “How about I boil some water for you? Or wipe the pillars? The pillars are so tall and you can’t reach them, I have to end up doing it, no?”

Ah Dong is currently wiping at a chair and once again, she rolls her eyes in detestation, “As long as you don’t end up losing my cloth somehow later, I’ll be thanking the heavens already!”

Tang Fan doesn’t get angry and is instead rather delighted at this.

“Didn’t we end up finding it? Besides, Ah Dong, why do I feel like you’ve become much more hardworking recently? You haven’t been eating as enthusiastically anymore too, are you trying to help me save on provisions and food?”

Ah Dong sticks out her tongue at him, “That’s not it. Sui-dage chided me the other day.”

Alarmed, Tang Fan asks, “What did he say? Why don’t I know about this?”

Ah Dong snickers, “It’s not much really. He said you work very hard at the courts and reminded me not to just think about going out to play and end up neglecting you.”

Tang Fan did not expect Sui Zhou to still remember this. He has obviously taken the incident when Tang Fan sat at the back door, sitting there as the cold winds blew and ended up ill, to heart, and that is why he went to speak to Ah Dong secretly.

He also knows that Ah Dong didn’t stop cooking for him because she was playful, but because during that time he was so busy that he ended up collapsing in bed immediately the moment he got home. Every time Ah Dong cooked, he ended up eating outside and not eating when he came home, and the food was wasted. This happened a few times and Ah Dong didn’t know when he was going to come home for dinner. Hence, she stopped cooking, but now that they’ve moved past those days without any routine, everything has returned to normal.

Hearing Ah Dong say that, Tang Fan feels a little sheepish because Little Ah Dong has turned into a scapegoat for this incident, “I’ll speak to your Sui-dage some other day.”

“You don’t have to!” Ah Dong continues to grin, “I know that Sui-dage treats me as his little sister and that’s why he scolded me. If I was someone who didn’t matter to him, he wouldn’t even bother to say so much! I may be young, but I know who is truly good to me. Like previously, the old lady from the Li family, Ah Chun-jiejie and the rest, everyone who has been good to me, I remember them all!”

Tang Fan teases, “So who’s not good to you?”

Ah Dong shakes her head, “I forgot! I was sold to the Li family as a slave previously, and the sellers were not good to me, but I can’t even remember how they look like now. Da-ge, didn’t you say, we should remember blessings and forget grudges, that way we can be happy everyday!”

“That’s right! Aiyo, as your da-ge I am very happy that you remember every word that I’ve said. Seeing that you’re so heartless, I thought you only think of food everyday,” he laughs.

Rolling her eyes again, Ah Dong says, “Eating is our priority, and everything else is secondary to that, this is also something that you taught me.”

Tang Fan rolls his eyes at the retort, “Since when did I teach you something like this, wouldn’t you be a rice bucket already if I did?”

“Yes, you are!” Ah Dong snorts.

***

The people work hard every year as they busy themselves, all so they can reunite at home and peacefully sit down for a good reunion dinner. If they can have an additional plate of fish and meat on the table, then that is the greatest reward they have earned this year.

In a small three-sectioned house in the north of the city, there is the addition of Ah Dong this year and Tang Fan no longer needs to spend the new year alone.

Although Sui Zhou has moved out, his parents are still around and naturally, he has to go home for reunion dinner as well. He did invite Tang Fan and Ah Dong to accompany him to the dinner, but Tang Fan refused, saying that he and Ah Dong have not spent the new year together yet and this year is their very first year, so as siblings they need to spend time with each other properly.

Since he said that, Sui Zhou of course did not press and headed back to the Sui family home for dinner, while Tang Fan and Ah Dong stayed behind to get through the new year together.

Initially when Tang Fan adopted Ah Dong as his younger sister, he did so at Ah Dong’s behest, because Tang Fan could not bear to see her get sold to another family. She is a fine young lady that was forced to become a slave, and so Tang Fan destroyed her slave contract, returning her freedom to her, then adopting her, so that this young lady could have someone to depend on in the future.

Of course, if Ah Dong’s personality was terrible or if she was unable to get along with him, Tang Fan would have simply returned her slave contract to her, or found another family to settle her in. He never would have let her stay at his side, so at the end of the day, this is still considered affinity between them.

And yet, since having Ah Dong around, Tang Fan really does not need to do anything anymore. Even for their reunion dinner, because he wanted to help cut vegetables but ended up making a whole mess, he was chased out of the kitchen while Ah Dong mocked him for being born with a silver spoon in his mouth. 

Tang-daren could only stand at the side and help to bring her bowls and ingredients. He is after all a judge, one who has firmly argued with the Western Depot’s chief and managed to hold his own facing him, but today, he is being ordered around by this young little girl. However, his heart is warm, feeling a sense of gleefulness at this.

Once the skies have completely darkened, the ba xian table is already filled with dishes.

***

The two siblings chat happily with each other and after their dinner, they start clearing away the bowls and chopsticks and begin the custom of getting through the night to the new year.

Most people sleep early at night but there are exceptions as well. On the night of new year’s eve, both the old and young in the family have to stay up till midnight. This is a custom that has been passed on from olden times, and it has remained unchanged until today. The night is long, and the children can play with sparklers, while the adults have to think about more activities to pass the time.

There is only Tang Fan and Ah Dong in the house, and it is such a wonderful new year’s eve night, so Tang Fan does not want to read his fiction novels to pass the time either. The both of them end up looking for some games to play.

Forgetting about playing Chinese chess — aside from the fact that Ah Dong is still young and doesn’t understand the game, even if she does, she would have only just grasped the basics. The skill difference between them both is too huge and even if they did play, it wouldn’t be any fun, so Tang Fan finds a vase and some bamboo sticks. 

The both of them start to play toss and betting on who can get their more sticks to go into the vase. Five throws a round and whoever wins two out of three rounds is considered the winner. The loser will have to stand at the door and bark like a dog.

Tang Fan still has a childlike heart despite his age, and he excitedly begins to play the game with Ah Dong.

After one round however, he realizes something is amiss and asks, “Why are you so accurate with your throws, were you naturally gifted like this?”

Ah Dong is confused, “What is that? I didn’t eat that!”

Tang Fan says, “I think we can increase your daily studying tasks. What I meant is, were you naturally so good at tossing?”

“Not at all, it’s only after I troubled Sui-dage to teach me martial arts and he passed me a small bow. He asked me to shoot at leaves everyday, and whenever I can hit one I pass.”

“Then have you managed to hit any leaves yet?”

“I did, but out of ten tries I only manage to hit two, and it was because I got lucky,” she says, embarrassed.

“… I feel like I’ve made a mistake the moment I suggested tossing with you.”

Ah Dong’s eyes go wide, “Da-ge, are you trying to get out of this?”

Helplessly, Tang Fan says, “I’m not, but can we have a discussion about this, how about doing away with the bet?”

Ah Dong seems very dim at times, but when it counts, she is still rather crafty and so she replies, “No. Da-ge you said before, as a person we have to make our words count, and a promise is worth a thousand taels of gold!”

Tang Fan pats at her head, huffing in annoyance, “I don’t see you being so smart when you study, but you’re now reciting idioms! These three rounds have not yet ended, it’s difficult to say who will end up the winner or loser!”

His competitive spirit has been ignited, but physical deftness is also something considered a natural gift and is hardly something that can be had just because Tang-daren is trying his best at it now. His struggles are futile, and after the round ends he still loses. Two out of three wins, this is a rule he set, and now he’s paying for it.

Ah Dong laughs out loud, “Da-ge, those that are willing to take a gamble must bear the consequences of losing!”

Tang Fan is not willing to be looked down on by this little girl, and he thinks, there is no one outside right now on the night of new year’s eve, so what if he opens the door and barks twice? Even if other people hear him they would think some other house’s dog is barking, and so he says, “I am naturally willing to bear the consequences of losing. Your da-ge’s words count, since when have I reneged on my words? You must really learn these virtues of mine!”

Ah Dong makes a funny face at him praising himself, and follows quickly behind him to be entertained by Tang Fan making a fool out of himself.

Tang Fan opens the door and outside the door hangs two red lanterns. Their surroundings are illuminated slightly, the very picture of happiness and prosperity.

Steeling his resolve, he immediately barks, “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

Before he barks for the last time, someone appears before him, nearly scaring Tang-daren to death.

Looking closely, Tang Fan realizes that it’s Sui Zhou.

Tang Fan, “…”

Sui Zhou, “…”

Tang-daren feels like he has lost all his face.

He complains first, “Why are you here, not even a single sound of your footsteps!”

Helpless, Sui Zhou responds, “I have always walked without much noise, what are you doing barking at the door?”

Behind them, Ah Dong’s laughter echoes and Tang Fan’s face goes red, “He made a bet and lost!”

Sui Zhou nods and goes ‘oh’, “What were you playing?”

“Tossing,” Tang Fan replies, and then it dawns on him, “What are you doing back so early? Aren’t you staying the night over there?”

The both of them walk inside the house, one in front of the other as Sui Zhou says, “No, I’m not.”

He does not elaborate but with Tang Fan’s intelligence, he knows that surely some conflict has arisen at home and so Sui Zhou decided to come back after dinner. Without asking any more questions, he smiles, “It’s an opportune time for you to be back. It’s only interesting to play chess with three people, if I play with only Ah Dong, I cannot do it because it’s too easy to win!”

Ah Dong sticks out her tongue at him again, “That’s right, that’s why you chose tossing, the most difficult game, and you ended up losing anyway!”

“You!” Tang Fan schools his expression into an angry one and raises his hand, pretending to hit her and the young lady only giggles before running off, “We have to stay up tonight, I’ll go boil some water and make tea for you both!”

Seeing the both of them make such a ruckus, a hint of a smile emerges on Sui Zhou’s face and he thinks, it is good that he came back. Without saying anything, just looking at them like this, he feels happy.

If this is the first interesting new year Tang Fan has experienced since his family was broken, then it is the same for Sui Zhou and Ah Dong. The three of them have different experiences in life, but have gathered together due to fate.

It is said that they have to cultivate ten years worth of fate to be able to experience life on the same boat. For them to have ended up under the same roof together, they must have at least cultivated fifty years worth of fate or more.

The three of them start with chess and with the addition of Sui Zhou, everything becomes slightly more interesting. Everyone is relaxed and Tang Fan does not go in for the kill, so they take their turns to lose and win. Amidst the chatter and laughter, time passes quickly.

Midnight nears and the sound of firecrackers from both near and afar going off becomes more frequent. Firecrackers are lit not only to welcome the new year, but to also do away with the old, so many families will not only light the firecrackers after midnight, but will also light up another round before midnight to symbolize erasing the old and bringing in the new, welcoming a fresh start for everyone.

Tang Fan and the rest of them have also bought firecrackers. Sui Zhou goes out to light some up and Ah Dong lights up sparklers in the courtyard. The loud popping of the firecrackers echo in the alley, the sound ringing in their ears at intervals. Coupled with the vibrant sparklers, the entire courtyard is awash in light temporarily. Ah Dong laughs, shouts and claps, and even though there is only the three of them, the atmosphere created is both jubilant and lively.

Setting down the firecrackers and the sparklers, Ah Dong runs into the kitchen to cook some dumplings.

The dumplings have already been made, filled randomly with white cabbage, minced pork meat and prawns. The white and tender dumplings bobble up and down in the boiling water. She scoops them all up and plates them. Sui Zhou takes a brief glance and is stunned speechless.

There are prettily made, high quality dumplings in the plate, but there are also flawed ones that have been made in odd shapes. Some of the skin on the flawed ones, once put in boiling water, are torn, the filling inside exposed, and it is truly hard to look at.

Tang-daren is truly very thick-skinned as well, as he laughs, “Haha, it must be that the fillings want to see who are the people eating them, and so they could not wait to come out!”

Sui Zhou and Ah Dong turn to stare at him, and even without saying a word, their gazes both say: Shameless!

Tang-daren pretends not to see their looks and picks one up, dipping it in vinegar before putting it in his mouth. He does not forget to praise his own work, “It’s really delicious! You can see how skilled the person who made the dumplings is. You guys should eat too! What are you looking at me for? Come, come!”

Tang Fan has certainly reached a new realm and level of being thick-skinned.

The other two have nothing else to say and all they can do is bury their heads and start eating.

Suddenly, Ah Dong goes ‘aiya’ and spits out a coin from her mouth.

Tang Fan laughs, “You’ve struck fortune! You’ll have good luck in the coming year!”

Ah Dong is rather happy, and buzzing with joy, she wipes the coin clean and places it on the table.

After a while, Sui Zhou also bites on a coin. Tang Fan and Ah Dong repeat the same congratulatory words to him.

After a moment, Tang Fan himself also manages to hit one.

This repeats a few times.

Finally, Ah Dong is mad and disparages, “Da-ge, exactly how many did you put in there?”

There are thirty-odd dumplings in a plate and subtracting the flawed ones from the mix, the three of them have found a total of almost thirteen coins. Putting these coins in the dumplings are typically used to find some sign of good fortune in the coming year, but look at them now, every once in a while they are hurting their teeth on a coin like this.

Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are paying a little more attention, so it is not as bad for them, but Ah Dong almost shattered all her teeth on one and begins to groan and moan pitifully.

The heartless Tang-daren laughs at her misfortune seeing her like this, “I didn’t get to eat that many coins when I was young, so I’ve put more this time in case we don’t get to eat any, who asked you to bite so hard?”

Ah Dong is unwilling to show any sign of weakness and the two of them start fighting again, until Sui Zhou returns from clearing away the bowls and chopsticks. The young lady is finally drowsy. She rubs at her eyes, but the expression on her face shows that she has never been more content in her life.

“Da-ge, do you think we can still spend new year like this again in the years after this?” Ah Dong lies against Tang Fan as she sits, waiting determinedly for midnight to befall them.

“What do you think, Guang Chuan?” Tang Fan caresses at her head, looking up to ask Sui Zhou, who has just walked through the door.

“Mnn,” Sui-baihu agrees, his answer short but affirmative.

===

Notes:

*春联 chun lian

Lunar new year couplets! Often written on red paper during the new year and comes in pairs. The words written usually have to do with fortune, prosperity, luck and riches and are written either in typical black ink or in gold ink nowadays, since gold ink was made available.

*八仙桌 ba xian zhuo

Considered a traditional Chinese furniture, it is a square table that sits two people on each side, totalling eight people just like the eight (ba) deities (xian), which is why the table has been named as such.

*守夜 shou ye

We still practise this today - it is said that the later younger members of the family stay up, the more fortune they are accumulating for the elders of the family (for example, for their longevity and good health). A lot of people stay up until the wee hours of the morning playing mahjong and what not on the eve of Lunar New Year. Of course, this is not really strict, and most people do go to bed after midnight.

*天赋异禀 vs 天赋异饼 tian fu yi bing

Both four-character words are pronounced as tian fu yi bing, with the first being the more commonly written phrase, meaning someone who is naturally and generously gifted with skills etc. The last character 禀 bing was misheard and misinterpreted by Ah Dong, who thought the 饼 bing was referring to the character than meant ‘pastry’ or ‘biscuit’, and that is why Ah Dong thinks that Tang Fan is asking if she ate some kind of pastry when he asks if she has always been gifted with tossing accuracy in the game.

*丢脸 diu lian

In Chinese culture, being embarrassed or humiliated is described as losing face. There is nothing more important than having and keeping face for the Chinese XD

*脸皮厚 lian pi hou

Thick-skinned, to describe someone without any shame.

[mrwinterr]

Follow You

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: A song fic inspired by the song “Follow You” - Night Riots

Warnings: Fluff. Stalking? Mentions of sex and maybe masturbation (but only if that’s how you judge the actions in this story, nothing graphic). Reader is also not related to anyone in this story, just in case that question should arise in one’s mind.

A/N: This is a repost as I’m getting settled on this new blog. This was and still stands as of right now, my only Bucky Barnes fanfic. I swear the song isn’t as creepy as it sounds. It’s nonetheless a jam, so if you need music recommendation, check the band out! 

It’s not usual for the common area to be empty, especially in the morning as almost everyone in the building is an early riser. Bucky’s eyes gloss over the span of the room, not seeing any sign of his teammates, until they caught onto an image printed on the front page of today’s newspaper.

He recognizes your face on the print as part of the medical team within the building. He’s seen you a few times in passing or attending to any injuries and the occasional company events, but nothing more. He didn’t even know your name. He studied your features carefully. Your hair was all over the place, you had a small cut on your cheek, and you were clutching your left hand, which was visibly wounded. What kind of tussle did you get yourself into?

The full story revealed you helping fight off an assailant targeting his teammate Sam Wilson, who’s slowly being recognized as the new Captain America. This would explain where everyone might be. Taking place at night, you weren’t too far from the compound with Sam, but the person was clearly on a mission. It was a surprise attack. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The appeal of the story was how a civilian was able to hold her weight against someone who was trained to and purposely cause harm. Much like the paper, Bucky was enamored by the act of bravery. He read the story over and over, stared at every photo you were in, but he wanted to know so much more. He was captivated.

I saw your face inside the newspaper You saved your brother but your hand got burned

The training room was usually empty when he visited it, except that day he found Sam sparing with you. Unfortunately, your courageous story created unwanted attention. Secret intel revealed there was a threat by the previous attacker’s organization. It changed your life. You were forced to take extra steps in precaution, so he was helping you strengthen your defensive skills. The moment Bucky stepped in and looked at you, his breath got caught in his throat.

You turned your head in his direction as Sam called out his name. Bucky stood there unmoved, eyes only trained on you, and Sam took this as an opportunity to crack a joke. Bucky slightly shook his head and mouthed a quick comeback to which earned him a laugh from you. His body loosened up at the sound of your voice and he managed to give you a small smile. He found that laugh to be one of the sweetest things he’s ever heard, and it led his mind to wonder what else he could do to be able to find out how other noises would sound like coming out of your mouth.

Your hair was wild just like a lion’s fur I wanna laugh with you and make you purr

Your image never left his mind. He finally learned your name and your role on the medical team. He saw firsthand and already had a general sense that you could take care of yourself, but the attacks opened a can of worms. It could only get worse. In fact, within a few months, the next several attempts at your own life and anyone that seemed suspicious, Bucky would be there to divert danger away from you. He took them all out. He discovered you lived alone a couple of miles away from the compound. He felt a need to keep you safe, so using his stealth techniques he commits to your routine and remembering the route to your home. He was following you.

I will follow you home Cause I know where you live You’ll never be alone Cause I know where you live

It becomes more than that for Bucky. He takes a new course in the compound ensuring that he passes by the big glass window that separates him and the medical team just to see if you’ve made it to work alright. Sometimes he lingers a little longer than usual and catches your gaze through and between every staff member walking about doing their respective jobs, each time causing him to almost lose his composure and knocking the wind out of him, like a head-on-collision. He was wrecked.

I drive by your work almost every day That big old window shows me everything I saw you look at me through the glass Your eagle vision almost made me crash

He’s almost sure you don’t notice his close eye. If you did, you don’t act any different from the first encounter with him. For all you knew, no one was threatening your life anymore and they’d forgotten all about your story. He finds you just as friendly and caring, and it all just digs deeper into him. He had progressively initiated conversation with you given the opportunity. You’ve taken on to attending any discomfort Bucky has brought by missions or his arm and in return he helps you train when you have the time or keep you company during breaks. You were perfect to him. Everything you said or did, never elicited a painful memory caused by his past.

By now he’s discovered the perfect spot across your apartment to continue his watch. One night he slipped. You had returned from a night out with friends. He could tell you were slightly intoxicated as you carelessly slipped out of your dress with the curtains still drawn open, a bad habit of yours. Bucky couldn’t bring himself to look away. He knew it was wrong and extremely invasive. His bottom lip trapped itself between his teeth as his eyes scanned your mostly naked body. You casually stretched and he could sense you letting out a sound of pleasurable relief. His gaze never tore from your figure until you finally had the sense to close your curtains. He should’ve felt great shame. He tried to hold back but he was far too gone and could only imagine how you would look and sound like reacting to him worshiping you. He was weak.

No shame, I will follow you home No shame, you’ll never be alone

Things almost fall back into routine for Bucky even with the added task of ensuring your safety. He’s suddenly frantic as you weren’t where he expects you to always be. You’re not standing at your usual post in the medical lab, your curtains don’t open again, and you’re barely seen throughout the compound. He double checks his research and doesn’t see any sign of suspicious activity or you resigning and departing from the city. The attacks have actually lessened since they’ve become futile with him in the way and you never once mentioned leaving. He inquiries about you from your colleagues, who insist they don’t know of your whereabouts. He was scared.

He thought about how he wouldn’t see you flash him that smile, the way one side of your lips slanted upwards and eyes shined, just for him. He thought about the sound of your voice, especially your laugh. It made him melt. He thought about things he wished he could have made you feel. He thought about how he wouldn’t be able to do any of that if you weren’t around. You really had a huge affect and it dawned on him. He was in love.

No shame, I believe I’m in love with you, I’m in love with you

You weren’t in danger at all. You recently took up following Bucky, observing him as he tried to observe you even in your absence. You couldn’t believe it. You didn’t when Sam told you what Bucky had been up to. He noticed his new behavior before anyone else and took it upon himself to figure out what or who changed him. He was actually relieved to find out that he wasn’t doing something self-destructive but instead he was harboring a crush and was protecting you this whole time. Granted what he was doing involved an invasion of privacy, but surprisingly you weren’t angry, and you didn’t understand why you weren’t. Any normal person would feel some sort of animosity, but you didn’t. You liked Bucky and his company. You knew of him before working in the compound but you were enthralled by Bucky since you officially met him in the training room and continued to be the more you interacted. You were hooked.

You felt bad watching Bucky pull at his hair, frustrated as he thought you were in any kind of crisis, but you couldn’t wrap your mind around how he would want to willingly go through all this trouble to keep you safe. What made you special? You were just like every other person in the world that needed to be protected by Earth’s heroes. Yet you were still here, and it was because of him. You had to make sure it wasn’t just a phase. Why did he feel the need to protect you? If he had no one to look after, would he still care? You found out a lot about Bucky by observing him. Bucky’s watch was no joke, that much you learned. It took a real toll on your body and mind. It was harder on your end because you were making sure your absence was solid, full-proof, and at first you thought who were you to believe you could successfully spy on a former assassin? Luckily, Sam aided you on that one for a while. He just didn’t know you were still following Bucky and you didn’t either the longer it played out. You were falling.

Following you home, I’ll follow you home

It was time. You couldn’t stand to watch the look of defeat on Bucky any longer. He continued to stop by your apartment, cameras revealed he was still walking through the medical floor at the compound and asking if you’d return. You knew Bucky’s routine now and when you found the right moment, you set it up. You opened your curtains, left the lights on, and the door open just in time for his next stakeout.

As expected, Bucky walks right into it. He didn’t even think much about it but the last few weeks had him on edge and he almost immediately sprang into action when he saw any sign of life. He entered your apartment and looked around to find it seemingly empty, until you closed the door behind initiating confrontation. He turns around and he looks almost paralyzed. You knew he could tell that this was it. You caught him. You knew and you let him know. You cried because no one’s ever gone through that much for you. You told him you weren’t angry and he didn’t have to worry anymore because you weren’t ever in harm’s way. Not now and not then because of him. Bucky’s not much for words but he knows, unlike any normal person, he felt no shame for what he did. He knows you weren’t ashamed of what you did either. What he was doing couldn’t have gone as long as it had, but he’d try. He did and would do everything to protect you. He knows he’s in love with you and you knew you were in love with him too.

No shame, I believe I’m in love with you, I’m in love with you

A couple of nights after the revelation, the relationship has definitely progressed, he’s no longer watching you from across your apartment building, instead he’s inside watching you. He stands frozen, eyes locked as if he’s hypnotized by you. You’re shedding your clothing one by one and slowly walking up to him, almost with a predatory gaze. Bucky doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath as you lean up and kiss him. The both of you have grown increasingly close and the idea of taking things slow fly right out of the window. Bucky knew that idea was pointless the moment he first laid eyes on you.

I like to sneak around and hold my breath I lie awake just to watch you undress

The contact breaks the hypnotic spell bound on Bucky as he quickly reacts by applying more pressure to the kiss, losing control. He helps you rid of the remainder of your clothes, running his hands up your arms, collarbone and neck until they cup your face, making sure you don’t pull away soon, afraid this will just be all a dream, and you don’t. Not even when your back hits your mattress and more skin is revealed. When his shirt came off, he didn’t feel ashamed of you seeing his scars, he never felt any shame with you.

Your bodies seemingly both on autopilot as you lose yourselves in the throes of passion. You were giving him everything he wanted. He reveled in the sounds he used to imagine would come out of you. He took pride in watching as your body moved against his and your grabby hands because it let him know you wanted him just as much and that he was the one to make you feel that good. You only ever made him feel immense and genuine happiness. He was committed to making you only feel the same and more, a lot more. He wanted to make sure you knew how much he loved you. The emotion that radiated throughout the room was something he knew he wanted to keep with him for the rest of his life. He was devoted to you.

Tip-toe to our bed like an animal You let me kiss you till I lose control

It’s late one night and he’s just outside the compound staring at the open field thinking about you. He’s hesitant at first but he’s starting to feel better about letting you go home alone. The both of you have been taking the relationship at your own pace, learning more about each other and trust. He’s about to get up and head inside when he doesn’t catch an attack on him, but it’s soon thwarted off when he notices a second movement from a few feet away. It’s you. You saved him this time. He looked at you mesmerized because at that moment you resembled the same look you wore when he first saw you in the newspaper.

The scene around you both became nothing but background noise as the rest of the team and your other colleagues gathered around. You caught up to Bucky and he welcomed you with sore but open arms. He asks why you’re out this late and you, without any shame, tell him you wanted to make sure he was ok. You followed him here, unannounced and unashamed. If he ever had any doubts to if you really loved him in return, you always reminded him how much you did. You were both prepared to follow each other forever. The look of admiration never fades from his eyes. He was always in love with you.

No shame well I believe I’m in love with you, I’m in love with you

A/N: I kind of cringe at this now, but I still want to share and keep it. Let me know what y’all think! Thank you for reading! 

[justfinishedreading]

Remainder by Tom McCarthy

I read this book about two or three months ago, it’s the sort of book I can say is really good, in a literary sense, but ask me if I enjoyed it and my answer is definitely no. The blurb describes it as “a darkly comic meditation on memory, identity and history”. I take a less romantic view and say it’s a disturbing -and occasionally comic story- about white male privilege, the abuse of wealth and power, the danger of diminishment of responsibility, and the importance of post-trauma therapy.

Before the story commences, the protagonist has already suffered an accident; an object dropped from a flying plane and nearly killed him. Part of his brain was damaged, and he could no longer walk or move. He had to re-learn every basic physical movement from scratch, starting with the simple act of picking up a small object. The part of his brain dedicated to movement was gone and to learn moment anew meant psychologically rewiring his thought-process. He learnt about the mechanics of his muscles, his bones, every change that occurs to make possible that simple act of picking something up. Over and over again these mechanics had to be thought out before action could be taken. As a consequence, when we meet our protagonist all his actions are slow, every detail must be thought through. Repetition and routine are key.

The unnamed airline company has offered him eight and a half million pounds to settle the case out of court, under the condition that he never talks about this publicly or privately. He accepts. And this is where the story begins.

One day, our unnamed protagonist, remembers a particular memory. His memories were gone when he woke up hospitalized, but they’ve been coming back slowly and in random bits. He sees a crack in a bathroom wall and is instantly reminded of a similar crack in an unknown apartment. He remembers looking out of the window and seeing black cats walking on the roof of the building opposite, he remembers leaving the apartment and walking down the internal staircase, he remembers the smell of someone cooking liver and someone playing piano, and he remembers feeling happy, feeling himself, feeling real and at one with everything around him.

He is struck by this memory of feeling natural, because since his accident all his movements, all his actions, seem rehearsed, studied, or as he puts it “second-hand”. Instead of trying to find out where this apartment is, why he was there, and what was going on at that time that brought him a form of peace, he decides instead to recreate the memory; the building and the people, to “re-enact” the scene from his memory, over and over again. Ironically experiencing the feeling of that memory second-hand…

From the point of view of the audience it is quite tedious to read about the unfolding of this plan, to us it seems obvious that this is doomed to fail, that manufacturing a feeling is counter-productive to feeling authentic. For me, I just wanted the book to end, I have never wanted more for a book to just… please, please… END.

The protagonist spends a lot of money, time and effort in finding a correct-looking building, paying off everyone that lives there to move out, hiring contractors to strip down the interior, recreate the look and feel of his memory building (which includes, amongst many other things, the wearing and sanding down of materials to look aged), and hiring people to be live-in actors, 24/7 on call, repeating the same actions over and over again: frying liver, playing the piano, taking out the rubbish etc.

Now we might say yes these actions, this way of spending money seems utterly pointless, but if he feels comforted by these actions and he has the money and it is his to do with as he pleases, what is wrong with that? What does it matter if we don’t approve? These actions are deeply important to him.

Now this is where white male privilege comes in, and also the power that comes with wealth. Speaking as a woman from a working-class background, of emigrant parents, I could never make someone go through what he puts his employees through. Here’s an example; in his memory, there’s the smell of someone pan-frying liver. To recreate this smell, he and his team found that they have to put about fours pans on the go for the smell to drift from downstairs up to his new apartment. His employees would fry liver all day, every day, for months on end, even when he wasn’t in the building, he still wants that to take place. The constant frying of liver meant that the air vents were frequently clogging up with huge amounts of fat. Imagine living there? The smell of liver every single day, all day, how nauseating it must be for those people. We may say that money can make monsters out of anyone, but the sense of entitlement the protagonist feels, in so short a space of time, is astounding, and I argue that he had some existing feelings of entitlement to bounce off of.

Another example; he hired a middle-aged pianist to re-enact the pianist from his memory, the pianist would practice a music score on the piano, occasionally making mistakes (intentionally “accidently” making mistakes). He would repeat the problem passage, then continue practicing, again make mistakes, repeat problem passage, over and over again, every day, the same score of music, but with no intention of it ever being played in public, with no end goal except to fake practicing. Imagine what that would do to a person psychologically.

We are never told what these people feel, because the protagonist, who is also the narrator, simply does not care. Whenever someone questions his motives, the protagonist replies with just one word: “whatever”. He never takes the time to explain his thought-process, he has no need for social approval or connection. In this respect the novel is remarkable, characters with these traits are usually portrayed as psychopaths in thrillers and horror stories, so it’s interesting to see that character outside the cliché box. And make no mistakes about it he is a psychopath; the team recreate the memory of black cats walking on roofs by acquiring black cats and everyday pushing them out onto the roof. Unfortunately, the roof is unnatural and artificially made, there’s nowhere for the cats to go or escape, they end up slipping and falling off and dying on impact with the ground. The protagonist is aware of this and is unmoved.

Surprisingly the protagonist does start to experience some pleasure from these re-enactments, in fact he becomes addicted to them. But the ‘high’ he gets from the control and repetition lessens as time goes on, soon he seeks out new and more problematic scenarios to re-enact, more potentially dangerous ways to feel elated. I won’t spoil the rest of the book or discuss the ending except to mention that a lot of people who read Remainder get dazzled by the ending and the various interpretations of the “truth” of what happens. We know for a fact that the narrator is highly unreliable because he withholds information, changes details and, in one occasion at least, told a story that at the end he admits was completely made up. Some readers get excited about possibilities like is he perhaps still in a coma and is this all a weird dream? Is he actually dead and this is purgatory or hell? Sort of a Third Policeman type thing. Me, I take it at face value; I think the main structure of the story is true, certain details certainly were changed, and things exaggerated, the man is a liar for sure, and the end does not tell us the full ending of what happened, but the rest we can guess ourselves.

The final thing I want to talk about is relationships, the importance of social relationships and human connection. At the start of the story the protagonist has two friends; a man about the same age as him (late twenties / early thirties) and who is a bit of a douchebag (the protagonist tells us that before the accident he used to find his friend’s humour funny, I take that as proof that the protagonist was already a wanker before the accident). There’s also a long-distance female friend, who is visiting. Now these two are taken out of the picture quite quickly, the woman continues her travels, and the protagonist stops answering his mate’s calls. No family is ever mentioned, which is really weird considering he’s been recovering from serious injuries -unless the protagonist is an orphan, but even then surely he has more people in his life? We never find out. What this means is there is no one to hold him accountable for his actions, there is no one to call him out on his bullshit, everyone he is now in contact with is an employee.

The second most significant character, after the protagonist, is Nazrul Vyas. When the protagonist first sets out to make his replica building he has a very hard time getting people to understand what he wants. The organizational aspect of this project doesn’t faze him but it’s the endless questions posed by contractors that he finds irritating to deal with. His lawyer suggests a company that specializes in management for rich clients, they facilitate any requests a client may make. Think personal assistant but with a huge network of contacts, resources and personnel. That’s where “Naz” comes in, he’s intelligent and patient and quietly relishes a challenge, the bigger and more complex, the better. The protagonist often describes him as machine-like, alluring to him having a computer for a brain. Naz is our main hope of someone being able to reach the protagonist… but a character described a robot, with the sole aspiration of materializing a client’s dreams, does not inspire much optimism… Commentary on the evils of blindly following orders, ay?

So in conclusion, yes Remainder is an interesting book; it’s literally studied in modern literature courses… Pick it up if you want something more original and challenging than your average mass-market best-seller. But for me, I’m just happy it’s finally over.

Review by Book Hamster

[how-to-reverse-recedinggums-blog]

Reverse Receding Gums Naturally

Cause, professional treatment at the extremely first evidence of gum disease is actually vital, not just for your oral well-being, however, for your overall health. Gum disease may pauperize your oral well-being, influencing your smile's stability as well as visual allure. Find out more about How To Reverse Receding Gums At Home?

Likewise one requires to maintain it mind that gum disease is connected to rises in heart condition, diabetes, just to call a pair. Of course you must start the treatment through observing some easy oral hygiene. It's obvious there are a bargain of therapies offered for everyone looking for to far better their smile.

How To Reverse Receding Gums? 

  Rather one may always have the Gingivitis treatment that is actually the absolute best choice for a kind of preventative treatment for many of the various other oral conditions that are particular to occur in future.

You ought to take proper care of your mouth to not merely prevent gum recession yet likewise to safeguard against any other kind of oral disease. You need to have to deal with attempting other approaches to boost your oral wellbeing, yes, brushing and also flossing is excellent however it's achievable to accomplish better. Our oral wellness is an indication in our overall wellbeing and health. Eat much healthier food as well as it could be useful to stick to the alternate methods permanently oral health.

Research as a result of the simple fact that many critiques concerning teeth-whitening products as achievable prior to buying one certain. The majority of the components needed for receding gums home remedies could be found out in your kitchen or even readily available at the edge outlet. Many natural remedy are moved coming from 1 creation to one more. 

How To Reverse Receding Gums Without Surgery? 

 There are a great deal of organic solutions on the market which were found to battle receding gums. In truth, it is also a terrific treatment for increasing back receding gums as it boosts the progression of brand-new gum cells.

To cure gingivitis, you will need to know what's causing it. Gingivitis is actually a condition of the gums. If you've acquired the signals of gingivitis, you should certainly respond to enrich the condition after achievable.

You need to have to always talk to your dentist regarding any present dental problems before undergoing whitening operations. Dentists likewise recommend that you ought to make use of an usual fluoride toothpaste as well as a mouth wash. The dentist is going to also supply little ones over age 2 or even 3 with dental sealers to stop bacterial build-up. To start with, the pediatric dentist aims to supply a fantastic dental property for the kid. The pediatric dentist might schedule extra check outs for kids that are actually specifically vulnerable to dental cavity or that show early evidence of orthodontic problems.

Receding Gums Reverse

You manage to also grow back receding gums with suitable dental cleanliness as well as particular pure treatments. Due to its own anti-inflammatory residential properties, also, it lessens the swelling in your gums. Receding gums may be quite disconcerting. They are just one of the absolute most dramatic indicators of gum disease. The gum aches in a little region sustaining the tooth. Reversing receding gums by dealing with gingivitis is carried out in several methods.

The baby teeth are vitally important for a number of causes. Observe that you do surely not relate to get enamored with keeping your teeth white colored. As an example, probably your teeth may not be right, or even they've been actually worn down over time. Likewise, be actually specific to brush their teeth for him on a regular basis, to guarantee the teeth are actually getting well-maintained. Usually, gum recession is left alone unless there is actually a substantial quantity of recession that endangers the wellness of the tooth or there is actually a cosmetic issue. Many more are not aware they have recession. As a matter of fact, the majority of individuals do not recognize they possess gum recession because it develops therefore slowly. Generally gum recession is actually rather a slow procedure which may certainly not be recognizable initially, up until you start to find the roots of the teeth. Once you understand the actual resource of gum recession, it is actually rational that our company prefer to do something about it to sustain optimum bone tissue remineralization.

Receding Gum Reversal

Gum pockets are actually thought to be troublesome at 5mm. Hence in the unlikely event you start along with a 7mm gum wallet as well as you end up with a 6mm pocket that you still have issues. Perhaps advantageous in trying to keep 5mm gum wallets to stay clear of gum surgical operation.

Gums hemorrhage when our team do not floss accurately. People today believe gums bleed as a result of using floss which is an incredibly wrong tip. Receding gums can produce recognizable spaces, making it simple for disease-causing micro-organisms to accumulate. Receding gums is not one thing which occurs through the night. Receding gums is a typical dental issue due to its own subtle start. While they are going to require to become dealt with as promptly as achievable to prevent added damage, you don't always need to check out a dentist to start the healing procedure. Symptoms Receding gums can most definitely creep up on you whenever you're not cautious.

Despite the fact that a persistent dental well-being routine can go a lengthy strategy in assisting the turnaround of periodontal gum problem, in some occasions the infection is also far proceeded, as well as it is actually significant to get professional help. 

Reverse Receding Gums 

 In some instances, prosperous therapy of the primary ailment are probably to reduce the recession on the gums along with reduce a good deal of the inflammation. It is actually a pure therapy. Surgery may be needed for severe instances of Periodontitis. Therefore also when you experience a surgical procedure is certainly not rare or even slight, timetable time to regain health. If surgery is actually required, perhaps I just offered you some great news regarding the wonders of modern technology the second it relates to gum grafting.

Gum disease is actually a concern. Thus, make sure to sustain the gos to and need to you experience the signs of gum disease find immediate insight coming from your dentist. It matters not if you've obtained one or even many of these clues. The discomfort is heading to be actually lessened.

The key concern is to look for aid when you find any sort of type of indications of difficulty with your gums. See to it that you seek advice coming from your doctor prior to utilizing this or a few other medication to ensure you understand it is risk-free for you. Your dental pro is going to also encourage you that any kind of type of dental repairs you may have will absolutely not reduce.

Reversing Receding Gums

Due to the fact that the modifications in the status of the gums coming from 1 day to an additional are very little, our company receive adapted to the gums' appeal and also don't notice the adjustments over longer spans of time. In occasions of bruxism, the use of an oral home appliance after treatment is actually typically suggested. There are actually several therapy choices according to how serious the issue is, yet you undoubtedly are going to require to explore a dentist for them all.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 15 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

Len is not the sort of person that whistles while he works, but if he was, he would be whistling now.

It's a good day.

A good week, even.

Oh, sure, they haven't figured out what the Families are up to yet, though they have confirmed through interviews with the org crime unit and various C.I.s. that the other Families have also been unusually active recently, suggesting - however impossible it seems to be - that they were all involved in this still-unknown 'big day'.

And, yes, the concept of any Family deal big enough to unite the Families is utterly terrifying, not least because Len isn't sure who he can trust with the information. He's brought Captain Singh in on it, both because Len is technically a guest at Singh's precinct and, more importantly, because Len does in fact actually trust Singh to be a decent policeman. Singh understood the ramifications immediately and vowed to do everything he could to help, but they've both agreed to gather more information privately before laying out the situation to anyone higher up (they have no hard evidence, and that weakens their case) or even sharing it outside a very limited group of trusted detectives.

Particularly in light of what happened to Len.

Len also informed Captain Singh of the events following his clash with the Flash, of course, in the interests of giving him the full context for what he overheard, and where, and why he was there in the first place. Singh's expression had been interesting to watch - pain, mostly, since Lloyd and Petersen were probably what Singh would've probably termed "good cops" - but Len made very clear to him that Len doesn't subscribe to the all-too-common Central City view that any cop who isn't on Family payroll is therefore "good" and not corrupt.

Lloyd and Petersen are perfect examples of that, for that matter: conspiring to murder another officer, however disliked and hated, is undoubtedly an act of corruption, but that form of corruption doesn't stem from the typical stinking pit that is Family money and influence. It stems from the belief that cops, particularly "good" cops, don't need to be held accountable for what they do the same way normal people do.

Len knows the way their thinking must have gone:

So Cichowski took bribes - definitely wrong, but did that mean he should go to prison for it, like any civilian would? Surely not. He made a mistake taking a little Family cash, certainly, but it was just a mistake, nothing more; it was asking far too much of him to resist such a tempting offer all the time, wasn't it? As long as he didn't do it routinely, then surely it wasn't real corruption, right? Listen, the man made the highly commendable decision to become a cop, thereby risking his life to serve his city - in return, clearly he ought to be given far more deference and license to make such mistakes once in a blue moon, even though no such lenience would be given to any of the people of the city they were purportedly serving.

(Ignoring, of course, the fact that corrupt cops are serving themselves rather than the city.)

And even Lloyd and Petersen themselves, planning a murder - they felt it was the right thing to do, even if it was illegal, so surely it couldn't be that bad, could it? After all, a cop's judgment was so much more important than little, unimportant things like the laws...

Singh hadn't liked hearing that.

But not as much as he didn't like hearing Len point out that that sort of corruption, that the-boys-in-blue-are-better-than-you culture, is the sort that rots from the top down. The men and women of Singh's precinct thought they were untouchable as long as they were "good" - meaning, as long as they did the bare minimum of their jobs and didn't take Family bribes - and the reason they thought that was because that was the way things were run.

And who was responsible, one might ask, for the way things were run in a precinct?

At least Singh had the decency to come to terms with it at once and acknowledge his role in creating - or at least reinforcing and failing to dismantle - that culture: he offered Len his badge at once, stating his willingness to go to the Commissioner and resign, with the reasons explained publicly in order to start the process of rebuilding the department into a place with ethics and respect for the rule of law. Into a place that the community could truly trust.

Len refused Singh's offer.

That clearly came as a surprise, though the surprise lessened when Len explained his reasoning: the Families uniting into a single entity for any reason, no matter how temporary, represented a threat to Central City on an existential level far beyond even what corruption might accomplish, and as a result, taking them down had to be top priority, putting aside anything but the most egregious crimes.

"Though if I find a single cop in your precinct involved in anything more serious, I'm taking 'em down right away," Len warned Singh.

"More serious than conspiring to murder a superior officer?" Singh asked, arching his eyebrows at Len.

Len snorted. "You know what I mean. The whole point is that I'm their superior officer, so I have the means to ensure that they're punished for what they've done; if not now, then at least later. Civilians, though, they can't do that, and especially not criminals. I hear anything, and I mean anything, about one of your officers abusing their power to hurt someone in custody - and I don't give a damn how many priors that someone has - or to force something, whether by illegal searches or planting evidence, on someone in the street, and I will come down on them so hard they're going to think they forgot to evacuate ahead of a tornado."

Singh nodded, his face grim. "As it happens, I agree," he said. "Any abuse, any illicit searches or wrongfully obtained evidence, any officer-involved shootings, anything like that - you hit them as hard as you like, and I'll back you to the hilt. We need to make it crystal clear that following the laws is not even remotely optional for cops, even if that means tearing apart the whole department and starting again."

It was Len's turn to arch his eyebrows at Singh. "Singing a different tune now than you were before."

"I knew we'd gotten lax," Singh said. "But I thought it was lax on things like paperwork - cutting some little corners to try to pursue justice better, faster, getting people the answers they need and the safety they require, and I thought that was okay. I didn't realize we'd gotten so bad that two of my men would actively plot a murder without realizing that it made them just as bad as the people they're trying to stop."

"Looking the other way on the cutting corners is how you get them there in the first place," Len told him. "You let someone start thinking some rights are small enough to be optional, sooner or later they'll get to thinking that the big ones are, too."

"Clearly," Singh said tersely. "So your plan is to defer my resignation until after we've gathered enough evidence of the situation involving the Families to present to the Commissioner?"

"No," Len said firmly. He'd been considering it, but Singh's speech was sincere enough to convince him otherwise. "I don't want you to resign at all - I want you to stay and help rebuild. Your own record is pretty much clean -"

One of the reasons Len chose this precinct as his temporary office, in fact.

"- and more than that, you're not wrong. Most of your detectives aren't bad guys; they're good cops, and we need good cops in Central, desperately. The problem's that the whole CCPD's been mired in this 'blue code' culture for so long that it's hard to tell which ones actually think they're doing the right thing and which ones are breaking and bending the rules for their own purposes. Our job'll be figuring that out, and you'll be better at doing that than me."

Singh nodded thoughtfully. "What about Lloyd and Petersen, though? A lot can get swept aside in a clean-up like you're planning, since we'll need to wipe at least a few slates clean, but - conspiring to murder's a bit much."

"Conspiring to murder in such a way that makes you vulnerable to Family blackmail," Len corrected him. "Much worse."

"I know this might be difficult for you to process, Snart," Singh said dryly. "But the law does consider 'murder' to be worse than corruption."

"Maybe in some places. In Central, corruption's the bigger problem."

"And yet, the law persists in its unreasonable prioritization of murder attempts. Well? What are you going to do about them?"

Len smirked.

He smirks now, too, in memory.

"Danvers," he says as she walks in. "Tell me."

"I offered, yet again, to get them a cup of coffee," she reports. "They declined, again, and continue to be convinced that you're intending to poison them."

Danvers' somewhat blood-thirsty smile might go some way towards explaining their new-found conviction.

She hadn't exactly taken the news of Len's attempted murder well, by which Len means she's now even more ferociously protective of Len than she was before.

He's reminded her three times so far that she is not legally allowed to avenge his death, should it happen, and she persists in replying only that in that case it would probably be for the best for everyone involved if he didn't die, then.

(He's touched. He’s semi-seriously worried that she's going to go to jail for murder in the first degree one day, but he's still sincerely touched.)

"Good," Len says. "Let 'em stew."

"Boss, we've gone past stewing," Danvers laughs. "We've got to be at least in the braising stage."

"You've been talking to Charlie, haven't you?"

She snorts inelegantly. "If he could offer me better tips about how to make them feel like the stupid jerks they are, I'd take them, but as it happens, no." She grins. "You're right, though. Being excessively nice to them and watching them torture themselves with their own paranoia about when you're going to bring the axe down on them is almost good enough."

"You are a jealous and vengeful god, Danvers," Len tells her, not disapprovingly. "I told you, I promise I'll report them, just after we use their brand new shiny connections to the Families to give us a lead on this 'big day' we're dealing with."

"I'll hold you to that," Danvers says peacefully. "I know you, boss; it's amazing what you'll forgive if you're the only victim."

"They -"

"If you say something dumb like 'they were under a lot of emotional pressure' or 'they didn't actually succeed in murdering me', I'm putting a tracking bracelet on you for your own protection."

"I was going to say they'll get what they deserve at the appropriate time," Len lies. He might have been about to say one of those other things, but Danvers can't prove it. "Honestly, Danvers, between you and Barry, it'll get done; he's as rabid over it as you are."

She smirks.

She's been smirking every time he says "Barry", but that's because she's a ridiculous romantic who thinks the fact that they're on a first-name basis and have decided that they're officially boyfriends is super cool.

Possibly because it is, in fact, super cool.

Len hasn't been this excited about a relationship in - ever.

"Shut up," he tells Danvers, smirking back at her in shared glee. "Get me Thawne and Iris."

"Will do. I'm amazed she's still talking to you, you know."

"I employ her," Len says dryly. "It helps."

After figuring out who exactly the Flash was, Len decided that since the Anti-Flash Task Force had already been constituted with such a vague mandate, not to mention filled with people he generally found trustworthy, that it made the most sense to just continue to operate on that basis.

His first priority, though, was to get them all on the same page.

And that meant, at least unofficially, getting the Flash recognized as an agent of the law and giving his actions at least a veneer of legitimacy - albeit somewhat retrospectively.

"I'm an undercover cop?" Barry asked when Len explained. "You're making me an undercover cop?"

"Yep. You can't arrest people, and you should try to keep from breaking too many laws -" When possible, of course. Len used to be a thief for a living, after all. "- but since we don't want to let Wells know we're on to whatever he's up to, you can't be publicly associated with the department. And that means you're undercover."

"This is awesome."

"You need to unmask yourself to the current Anti-Flash Task Force so that they don't keep trying to take you down."

"Not awesome! Your task force includes Singh, Eddie, and Iris, remember?"

"Danvers, too, and of course I remember; they're my team," Len said patiently. "But no one is benefiting from your continued silence in this regard, least of all Iris. If you have a reason not to tell her that's better than 'I promised Joe West', I'll consider it not bringing her into the loop. Do you?"

"...it could put her in danger?"

"She's already on the task force; any danger she is or is not going to be in is going to arrive regardless of what she knows. Next?"

"...I really don't want to and as my boyfriend you're not going to make me?"

"Of course I'm not going to make you."

"I sense a 'but' here."

"Well, since you already sense it," Len said dryly. "I’m not going to make you tell her anything but my team is getting the full Flash briefing tomorrow morning at 9AM. You're welcome to tell her first, or to be there to help explain things."

"But either way you're telling her with or without me?" Barry asked. He looked, if anything, relieved at the prospect of being forced to confess.

"Got it in one," Len affirmed.

And yet, despite all chances for a private confession, Barry ended up meekly sitting in the conference room when Len arrives a half-hour early.

“You’re early,” Len observed, more than a little bemused. As he well knows, Barry isn’t one for punctuality, not unless the world is ending.

“The world is ending,” Barry said grimly when Len pointed that out.

He’d brought coffee and donuts.

Sadly, they didn’t help him much.

“You – I – what – Barry?!” Iris yowled while Eddie just stared at Barry, mouth agape.

They were the only ones to be surprised, though.

Singh - as Len distinctly started suspecting during the course of their earlier conversation - already knew and had for some time, so he took it calmly enough.

(Danvers, oddly enough, appears to have already known as well - apparently she caught a glimpse of the Flash during their big battle on the street, matched the face with the Barry she’d snuck a peek at in the office, and intended on telling him afterwards, only to lose track of him in the ensuing chaos. The woman has seriously got x-ray vision, Len swears.)

The next few minutes were something of a kaleidoscope of emotion.

First, Iris was shocked (“You’re the Flash? You’re the Flash?!”).

Then she was relieved (“I knew you were hiding something; I just didn’t know what. I thought – something from the coma –”)

Then she was disappointed (“Why didn’t you tell me?”).

Then she was sad (“Don’t you trust me?”).

And then, at last – after Barry let slip in an effort to reassure her that he’d only not told her because West had made him promise not to – incandescently angry.

“You lied to me!”

“To be fair,” Len drawled, “to my understanding, he’d only been out of the coma, what, a few hours, not even one whole day, before West made him make that promise? And it’s pretty hard to feel like you’re betraying a promise, especially one to your father figure, even if you were in a vulnerable state when you made it –”

No, Len didn’t feel even the slightest bit bad about throwing Joe West under the bus.

It probably wouldn’t have worked as well as it did if Iris wasn’t already stewing over the whole thing with her brother Wally and her mother, but as it was –

Fireworks.

"I know you did that deliberately," Barry told him after Iris stormed out of Len's office. "Don't think I don't."

"Are you upset?"

"I, uh...listen, it's mean to do to Joe. He's really not that bad – you know, you should really add him to the task force team officially –"

"No chance in hell, but also not what I asked. You upset about it?"

Barry considered it, then shrugged. "The West family fights have always been epic and I'd really rather not be in the middle. Anyway, I’m, like, 75% sure she said somewhere in there that she forgave me for not telling her!"

He beamed.

The way Len remembered it, Iris said something along the lines of “you shouldn’t have let him convince you to lie to me but I know who the real asshole that I won’t be forgiving for this is!”, but he was pretty sure that meant exactly what Barry thought it meant.

Really, dumping this mess on Detective West's head, if it got Barry the absolution he'd so desperately longed for and lifted the weight of that unnecessary secret off Barry’s shoulders, and thus getting Len a chance to see that beautiful smile?

Yeah, he’d do it that way any day.

"If you don’t mind,” Singh said dryly at that point, suddenly reminding everyone that the captain of the precinct is sitting among them, “I’m going to go make sure she doesn't blow anything up in the meantime.”

By the time they got to the main floor, Iris was yelling, West was yelling back, and somehow they'd gotten off the subject of Barry – according to Danvers, West had apparently reacted to the initial accusation by trying to excuse his actions as being for Iris’ own good, which went over exactly as well as Len would have expected it to – and onto the subject of Francine and Wally.

Apparently, all of Iris’ plans about a reasonable and pre-planned confrontation went up in smoke the second West said, “You don’t know what’s the right thing for you sometimes.”

Len can’t really blame her.

Luckily for Len’s eardrums, Singh interrupted and sent them both home to go fight it out there instead.

(A short conversation with Singh later, Len did, begrudgingly, agree to bring West onto the team. The man already knew about Barry, after all; there was no point in keeping him out. Even though they would definitely need to have some serious words about cops that willingly worked with known vigilantes without bringing them in...)

After that, Barry lets himself get talked into doing some work up in his lab lest he mope for the few hours it took Iris to finish fighting with West and return, but when she finally did return, she was no longer quite as angry.

“I’m not talking to Dad,” she informed Barry, giving him a hug. “At all. Zilch. If you promise me you won’t mention me to him at all for the next few days, I will trade you total absolution and forgiveness.”

“I won’t even remember your name when he’s in the area,” Barry promised. “Hey, who’s this girl, why’s she here –”

Iris laughed.

“So – we’re okay?”

“Oh, we’re better than okay, Mr. Allen,” Iris said, grinning. “We are going to go through the backlog of my blog and you’re going to tell me the story behind every last incident –”

Barry wailed dramatically as she drags him off, but he was clearly enjoying himself

It was really nice to see them getting along again. Gave Len hope that if Barry could get absolution, then Mick -

Len is not thinking about Mick.

Nope.

Len is high on new relationship vibes of goodness and he's not letting any thoughts into his head that might disrupt that. He's giving himself a small vacation from despair. He deserves it.

Besides, the end result of the whole thing is that Iris took some time away from the precinct to cool off – forgiveness or not, she’s still a little upset about the ease by which Barry lied to her – which in turn meant that Barry ends up using the spaces in his daily schedule that he’d previously used to hang out with Iris to come visit Len instead.

Len doesn’t mind that at all. Even the torture and tedium of routine PT are a lot more fun with a solicitous boyfriend willing to run and get him his favorite pizza as a reward.

(It’s actually kind of funny – despite Len knowing that there has to be a Salieri’s pizza shop around the precinct office somewhere, since Danvers gets pick-up from it on the regular, Barry can’t seem to find it for the life of him. He swears that the only place to get it is the original location in the slums, which he can only get to in time due to his super-speed, while Danvers just smirks and refuses to divulge her sources. She's stubborn like that. But pizza or no, seeing Barry around is a surefire way to brighten Len’s day.)

Sure, Barry can't be there all the time - he's got his regular CSI work that Len doesn't want to interfere with, and of course keeping up with his speed training so that Wells doesn't get suspicious, and recently Barry also mentioned something about having some luck convincing Cisco about Wells because of some sort of time travel aberration where Wells apparently killed Cisco in a future that never happened...

Yeah, Len's not touching that last one with a ten foot pole. He's already made Barry swear never to use his time travel thing for anything less than a city-wide apocalypse - nothing personal, nothing stupid, and certainly not to fix an argument or something stupid like that.

Barry actually protested that the first time Len brought it up.

Well, not the “no time travel to redo an argument” point – they've both seen Buffy, and they've already had the whole discussion about how Willow's behavior leading up to the Tabula Rasa episode is unbelievably unethical – but he argued that there might be some reasons that justify it, like death of a loved one.

Len put a stop to that line of thought right there and then.

(If he starts thinking of letting Barry change history to fix lives, then he'll ask him to fix time to save Mick. He wouldn't be able to resist. And then they'd probably never meet and Barry would still be under Wells' influence and -)

Barry got the picture.

They still hadn't entirely agreed - especially since Barry wasn't even certain that he could go back more than a day or so, rendering the problem somewhat moot as even Len has trouble objecting to a very small and limited reset to keep someone important from dying or something - but Len at least managed to extract a promise from Barry that he wouldn't do any time travel without checking in with Len or Iris first as to the wisdom of the action in question, which Len supposes is the most he can reasonably ask for.

But that's as much thinking about time travel as Len wants to do. If Cisco's future-doppelgänger-self got murdered by Wells in such a way that Cisco somehow retained the memory of that murder, thereby causing him to doubt his relationship with Wells, that's his business.

Though apparently the (unspecified to Len) method of murder apparently raises the intriguing possibility that Wells himself might be the second speedster, and thereby the man who murdered Barry's mother, rather than merely employing him.

"We’re not sure if he is, though," Barry said when Len asked, gnawing at his lip. “Cisco admits that he doesn’t really remember what happened, not exactly, so it's still possible that he's just someone working as Wells’ agent. But if Cisco is right – Wells might be the Reverse Flash.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Bad enough being manipulated by a mentor, but...yeah. If Wells is the one who killed my mom and framed my dad, we need to get a confession out of him.”

"Wells or not Wells, the most important thing is that we stop the Reverse Flash at all costs before he hurts more people," Len corrected. "If we can get a confession, that’d be great. But if we can't, we can still use the fact he exists to create enough reasonable doubt due to previously unknown circumstances to get your father released."

Len got very satisfactorily kissed for that. That'd been fun...

"Boss!"

Len snaps out of his daydream. "Yes, Danvers?"

"Iris and Eddie are here," she says, looking amused. "Since we’re seeing them separately from the rest of the team the last few days –” Meaning West, mostly. Poor Eddie keeps having to split his time between his girlfriend and his partner, since they aren’t talking. “– I figured you’d want to talk to them first. Shall I show them in?"

"Yes, do," he says. "I want to hear how far they've gotten on Wells' Family connections."

The answer, unfortunately, is not far at all.

"His records are creepily perfect," Iris says, pacing the room. "Like - creepily perfect. We're talking, the guy has never so much as made a typo in anything, and his signature is picture-perfect identical on every page. It's like all his paperwork was done by a robot!"

"Does that help us?" Len inquires.

"Probably not," Thawne says reluctantly. "There's no hard evidence Wells has ever even seen a Family member, much less a financial connection between them -"

"There's what Barry's friend Terri found," Iris objects.

"We haven't connected that shell company to Wells, though," Eddie protests.

"Shell company?"

"Yeah!" Iris says enthusiastically. "Our one lead!"

"Hardly even that, really," Thawne qualifies. "We've identified one company that handled a large part of the contracting for STAR Labs' construction - Zoom Contracting - but their financials are ridiculously bizarre."

"They supposedly constructed the entire inner ring of STAR Labs in less than three weeks," Iris says. "And supposedly they incurred no costs for doing it beyond the raw materials needed for the work – though of course they got paid hand over fist for it all."

"That sounds like fairly routine graft to me," Len says. "What's the lead?"

"We haven’t found any other clients who acknowledge having worked with them or any other projects that they’re associated with on any construction approvals, but they regularly receive extremely high payments from – somewhere," Iris says. "Somewhere unknown. We managed to work that out between my hunches, Terri's forensic accounting wizardry and Kara's ridiculously fast archival research - seriously, girl, you're not also a superspeedster metahuman, right?"

"Nope," Danvers says. "I'm a different species entirely."

"Iris' theory," Thawne, blessedly practical, interjects, "is that if Wells really is the speedster in yellow, he theoretically could have done a lot of the construction personally, thereby avoiding outlay on labor costs and resulting in an extremely fast deliverable. And if he did it personally and Zoom Contracting is just a front, then the additional 'client' payments could be how the Families are paying him for the hits. It's pretty tenuous."

"Good enough start for me, though," Len says. "You're authorized to keep digging, all of you. Just remember -"

"People who look into STAR Labs or Wells have a tendency to disappear," Iris says. "We know. We're being careful."

"Good. Out, all of you; I've got my own mission for today."

"I'm sure you do," Danvers says with a grin. "Have fun, and don't strain that side of yours by going too quickly."

Thawne snorts.

Everyone looks at him and he flushes. "I just – too quickly – never mind."

"No, it was a good one," Len allows magnanimously. "Good luck on your investigation. Get back to me when you have results."

Thawne leaves, escorted by Danvers.

Iris, however, lingers behind, standing by the door.

Len arches his eyes at her, and she smiles ruefully.

"I'm guessing we can both take the shovel talk as said, right?" she asks.

"We can," Len agrees. He'd expected something like this. "I have no intention of breaking Barry's heart."

"Good," Iris says, but she hesitates. "But...Barry - okay, you know how he didn't tell me about the Flash thing?"

"Oddly enough, having been there when you found out about it – yes, I'm familiar."

"Yeah, yeah, that’s not the point I’m getting at here. Stop being snarky for two minutes. The point is - I love Barry. He’s my best friend. He always will be. But – he lies. A lot. Mostly to get out of confrontations, but sometimes he just forgets to mention things because he subconsciously realizes people might get angry at him if he tells them." She shakes her head. "And based on what I know about you so far, you take people not being straight with you pretty seriously."

Len frowns. "Are you...warning me about getting my heart broken? By Barry?"

"I mean, yeah, I guess, sort of? Again, while this is based on a pretty limited acquaintance with you, I think you're a pretty upstanding guy, former thief or no thief," Iris says, crossing her arms. "For all your jokes, you really care about ethics and being a good person and all that. If things blow up, well...I just wanted to say that, Barry or no Barry, best friend or no best friend, come tell me your side of the story and I'll be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Okay?”

Len is gaping at her.

“Listen, like I said, Barry's my best friend, but I know him. I know him and I know you, and...I don't know. You're pretty lonely, and you don't deserve to be." Iris shrugs. "Break his heart, I'll break you. But if you two break up..."

She trails off, frowning.

"Too many 'break's in that sentence?"

"Yeah. Anyway, you get the gist."

And then she slips out the door before Len really has time to react to what she just said.

He's not exactly sure what to do with it. He supposes he appreciates the faith she has in him, and acknowledges that as Barry's Mick she would have the most insight into Barry's character, but...really?

Now that he's gotten to know Barry, Len can't imagine what in the world would be bad enough to cause the sort of break up blow up Iris is describing. Besides, he knows about the Flash thing - what else is it going to be? Barry's not-so-secret supernatural blog that he's totally still updating?

Weird.

Len supposes he'll just take the compliment.

In the meantime, he has a date.

He timed his meeting to end exactly 25 minutes after the meeting time Barry proposed, so it's no surprise when Barry appears in his office only seven minutes later, looking flustered and embarrassed. "Uh, hi - I didn't mean -"

"Good timing. I just finished work," Len says, not without fondness. "It ran long."

Barry looks relieved for a moment, then suspicious. "Did you deliberately let it run long?"

"Of course I did. I've met you."

Barry laughs, looking delighted. "Okay, c'mon, I left the car outside -"

"No, wait, don't -"

They're in the car.

Len bends double in agony as his side and back and leg scream protest at the abrupt change in position. The fact that Barry has managed to make the actual running part of events so sudden as to barely be consciously noticed doesn't really matter; his body still knows it happened, even if his mind doesn't.

"Barry," he says through gritted teeth. "I ain't wearing my braces. That hurt."

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean -"

"We'll talk about your evolving definition of consent later. Go get my crutches."

Barry reappears a second later, looking embarrassed. Luckily, Len's managed to take a few deep breaths and shove down the pain again. "Thanks."

"Sorry," Barry says again. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know," Len says. "And one of these days I'll be fully healed and you'll have permission to run me around as you like, but until then, a bit of caution wouldn't go amiss."

"Yeah, you're right...what was that about consent? I mean, I wouldn't, uh, you know -"

"Not sexual consent," Len says, rolling his eyes. "You're fine on that. Just regular normal consent, asking for permission, that sort of kindergarten stuff. The fact that you tell me you're gonna run me doesn't mean you don't have to wait for me to say 'okay' before you do run me. Emergency cases of rescuing life and limb excepted, of course."

"Got it," Barry says, still looking embarrassed. "Sorry."

Len waves a hand, dismissing it. "Now," he says, settling himself more comfortably into the car. "We estimate Lloyd and Petersen won't be coming out for another seventeen minutes, twenty three seconds, right?"

"That's right."

"Well, then," Len says. "Maybe we should talk about your sexual ethics -"

Barry knows Len well enough by now to laugh and take that as a cue to lean over and kiss him.

Seventeen minutes later, their targets exit, right on time, and Len gently (and reluctantly) pushes Barry away.

"Great," Barry says, focusing on the extremely paranoid looking pair. "Let's follow them."

"Be a little obvious about it," Len advises.

“A little obvious?”

"They’re cops; there’s no way you can drive well enough for them not to notice you. So we want to be obvious instead - not too much, just enough that they see a black car with tinted windows and think 'Family'."

Barry grins.

They follow Lloyd and Petersen for a while, pausing occasionally to make out as the two cops make their general rounds throughout town. Len’s been following them for a few days, mostly with Danvers or sometimes Wally to drive him – they haven’t yet figured out where they're meeting with the Families, or even if they are, but in Len’s opinion, following them around and heightening their paranoia is fun regardless of how productive it is.

Stalking people together while on a date with Barry is even more fun.

“Hey,” Barry says at their fourth stop instead of trying to wiggle into Len’s lap like he has the last three stops. “That’s weird.”

“What’s weird?” Len asks, looking around. It’s a slum corner, not unlike most slum corners – a crummy office building, a shady-looking bodega, a run-down set of apartments. Nothing special.

“No, I know this building,” Barry says, squinting at the office building Lloyd and Petersen entered a few minutes ago. “This is where Dibny’s office is.”

“Dibny?”

“Yeah, you know, Ralph Dibny, the one I told you about. The cop – well, he used to be a cop – the one who planted evidence?”

Len’s eyebrows go up. “And he’s working in the slums now? As what?”

“Private investigator, apparently. His building did have a Family problem, though; I saw some when I went to visit him.” Len arches his eyebrows, causing Barry to flush a bit. “I was having a bit of a moral crisis and wanted to remind myself what not to do. Ultimately not an issue.”

Sounds like an issue, but sure, Len’s willing to take this one on faith. He nods. “Family problem, huh? Which Family?”

“Santinis.”

“Here?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Not a Santini area, usually. Interesting. Did Dibny say that he stayed in touch with anyone from the precinct?”

“Yeah,” Barry says. “He said some of them threw him work when they could, on account of their friendship and empathy and stuff. Including some of the cops known to be in the Family pocket. Do you think…?”

“That Dibny’s acting as some sort of go-between? It’s possible,” Len says. “It’s as good a theory as any, anyway, though of course we’ll have to see who else is in that building –”

Barry’s gone.

And now he’s back.

“They’re on Dibny’s floor,” he reports. “No idea if they’re going to see him specifically, though; I didn’t stick around for fear they’d see me.”

Len snorts. “Well, that works. Now we just need to know what’s on that floor - which we can do another time,” he adds, catching Barry’s arm before he disappears again. “Hold off.”

“Okay,” Barry says, then grins. “Back to what we were otherwise doing?”

Well. If Barry insists...

The rest of the ride goes pretty much without incident, and Barry promises to get West onto the Dibny connection since West is technically on the task force team now, as Len promised.

Unfortunately, West’s still pretty bitter about Len’s existence, not to mention the fact that Len and Barry are openly dating – Len got bored and hobbled off about three minutes into West’s shovel talk, both because he believes respect is earned, not given, and because he wanted to ensure West’s oblique references to his service weapon remained oblique and didn’t turn into actual threats that would potentially get West in trouble – so Len’s been delivering actual instructions through Barry for the time being in the hopes that if West thinks it’s Barry’s idea, he’ll actually do the work he’s been told to do.

(Purposefully malingering because you don’t like a guy is not corruption; it’s just being an asshole. Though if West says one more thing about Barry banging a supervillain…)

A few more kisses later, Len starts making his hobbling way back towards his office even as Barry disappears in a flash of light.

Heh.

Flash of light.

It’s never going to get old.

Len’s about halfway there when his phone buzzes with a text from Charlie.

Got some1 wants 2 meet u. Has ur card.

Len’s eyebrows go up. His card? As in, his almost-never-used brand-new business cards that actually admit that he’s a cop? Who the hell would have that?

Doesn’t want 2 meet at ur office. Jitters in 5?

Make it 10, Len texts back, sighing. He sends a text notifying Danvers of his changed plans so she doesn’t start a search party when he doesn’t arrive at the office and changes direction.

When he gets to Jitters, he sees Charlie hovering by a booth in the back, smiling at a twink.

Len makes his way forward. “No,” he says. “Just – no. Bad Charlie.”

Charlie pouts at him, but shrugs. “Another time, maybe,” he tells the twink – brown eyes, brown hair, pouty lips aside, and Len really shouldn’t be mentally nicknaming him ‘the twink’ since this is probably his contact but it’s really hard not to – and meanders off.

“Tell me,” the twink says in a surprisingly upper-class sort of accent that doesn’t really match the faded green hoodie he’s pulled up in a vague attempt to hide his face. Or possibly it’s those hearing aids he’s not-so-subtly trying to hide, who knows. “When he says he’d like to eat me, does he mean –”

“S’got priors for attempted cannibalism. I wouldn’t go for it if I were you.”

“Ah. Right. I see.” The guy lets his eyes drift across Len’s body. “I don’t suppose –”

“Not a chance.” Len settles himself down across from the guy. “You wanted to see me?”

The guy produces what is, in fact, Len’s card. “I think it’s more like you wanted to see me,” he says, tilting his head back in an arrogant sort of way. “I found your card in my – temporary living quarters, let’s say, with a note indicating that you wanted to discuss what I learned during my tenure at STAR Labs.”

Tenure at STAR Labs –

Ah, yes.

The now-missing Mark Mardon’s surprising choice in roommates.

“So you're Hartley Rathaway, I’m guessing?” Len says.

“That’s correct,” Rathaway says. “I also hear that you’re the man in charge of investigating the Flash. The Anti-Flash Task Force, I believe?”

Stupid nickname.

“I’m associated with a task force dedicated to looking into unusual events in Central City,” Len hedges. “And yeah, I’m currently investigating STAR Labs, including your claims of misconduct prior to the Accelerator explosion. Anything you’d be willing to tell me, I’d appreciate hearing.”

Rathaway’s nose wrinkles a bit when he hears Len’s lower-class accent in full force. It’s not Len’s fault it goes particularly nasal around longer, more unfamiliar words, but the reaction does make Len not particularly fond of the young Rathaway, no matter how much sympathy he has for anyone who got kicked out of their family for being something other than straight.

Guess you can take the money away from the rich kid, but it doesn’t make him any less of a spoiled brat…

“I do have information about the Accelerator explosion, which I’ll be more than happy to share with you,” Rathaway says, clearly deciding to ignore Len’s obviously less-than-privileged origins in favor of the opportunity to tell his story to a willing ear. “Despite the fact that my earlier complaints were so rudely brushed off by the police.”

“Well, I ain’t the regular police,” Len says.

“I also,” Rathaway says, then pauses, clearly for effect, “have information regarding the illicit activity of the Flash himself.”

Oh, boy.

“We’re largely dropping that angle of our investigation,” Len tells him. “While we’re very concerned with illegality around the Flash, we largely believe him to be acting in good faith.”

Rathaway sneers. “Good faith? The Flash?”

“That’s correct,” Len says, a little stiffly. “His decision to take on crime-fighting on his own account without coordination with the proper authority might be over-enthusiastic, but we have reason to believe he’s honestly trying to help people.”

“Oh, I’m sure he thinks he is,” Rathaway says, still sneering. “I assume the little secret prison he’s running is also considered to be ‘in good faith’?”

Len freezes.

Secret prison?

(He’s trapped in a small dark room, an unfamiliar claustrophobia seizing his heart as he thinks to himself that he’s going to die in this room, this prison with the Families guarding the door so that they can come in and hurt him whenever they feel like it before coming to kill him at last when they get bored of him, he’s going to die in this modern-day oubliette where people are put to be forgotten, this terrible place where no one will ever find him, his death ignored, and only Mick and Lisa left to mourn and wonder...)

The Flash – Barry – his Barry – is involved with a secret prison?

Len’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to know.

But there’s no sound of a lie in Rathaway’s voice, and Len - Len's a cop. He picked that job years ago, the job and all the responsibilities that came with it, and that means his duty, first and foremost, is to justice. It’s the mission he’s devoted his life to; the one principle he holds above everything; the thing that drove him through undercover work all those years, the thing that led him to the work he does now.

The basis for everything he does, the most fundamental of his beliefs: that the pursuit of justice is the utmost duty of every cop, no matter the personal cost.

If Len closes his eyes to something bad just because he’s pretty sure it’s going to ruin everything good that he has?

Well. That would makes him no better than the corrupt self-interested cops that he hates so much.

No better than his dad.

So even if Len desperately doesn’t want to know – he has no choice.

He has to know the truth.

“You know, I ain’t too sure about that,” he says, very slowly. “Why don’t you tell me all about it, and I’ll see what I think?”

[danfanciesphil]

too high (can’t come down) by @danfanciesphil

Suspending himself 7,000 feet above the rest of the world seems likely to be a sure-fire way for Dan to escape normality, and isolate himself for the foreseeable future. The Secret of the Alps, a small hotel tucked into the side of the Swiss mountains is too niche for most avid adventurers to have heard of, making it the perfect place for Dan to work as he sorts through his problems. Unfortunately, privacy is a coveted thing, and as Dan soon finds out, the hotel harbours one guest who values it more than most.

Rating: Explicit Tags: Enemies to lovers, snow, mountains, skiing, hostility, slow burn, secrecy, longing, repression, nobility, classism, cheating, eventual sex

Ao3 Link

Chapter One Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Mr Novokoric doesn’t cross paths with Dan for the rest of the day, so Dan doesn’t get a second opportunity to gawp at an entitled semi-celebrity, not that he has much of a desire to, after their first encounter. It’s probably for the best that Dan avoids him for a while, given that he’s still shimmering with rage. How was he supposed to know that this man is some sort of Royal exception to the hotel rules? Just because he made a mistake doesn’t mean he deserved to be talked to with such... disdain. 

So, devoid of any further unpleasant - albeit unnervingly handsome - strangers, the rest of Dan’s third day passes without much to note. Mona had been right about the days here being pretty much the same. He imagines it will soon become hard to distinguish one day from the next. He’ll have to use the evening film as a marker so he can remember which days he did what, though that won’t be easy either, as Mona has an apparent love for heist movies, which aren’t known for their vastly dissimilar plots.

Dan heads to bed weary, wondering how long it will take to fall into a routine, so he can drift through the days without thinking. As he fumbles for his key, he notes the light on in the next room again, and pauses. He spends most of his days alone here, either in the suite on the top floor, or out on the slopes somewhere. If Mr Novo-dick is really in the room next to his, then that presumably means the music Dan has been hearing is coming from him. At least that means Dan isn’t developing a slow schizophrenia, but it does seem odd. Dan wouldn’t have had the man who shouted at him this morning pegged as a Chopin enthusiast.

Putting it to the back of his mind for now, Dan goes inside and gets ready for bed, only realising he’s being especially quiet when he’s already in his pyjamas, sat under the covers, ears staining to hear something above the silence. As the wait stretches on, Dan feels the familiar weight of his own guilt, failure and misery closing in, and soon the first of his tears begin to drip from his lashes. Soon, he is full on sniffling, eyes streaming, mouth pulled down in an unattractive curl.

And like clockwork, a melody begins, drifting slowly and calmly through the wooden wall. It’s soothing and delicate, making Dan’s sniffs lessen, and then stop altogether. He sighs in relief, settling back into his pillows, and lets the music buffet him gently into a long, deep sleep.

*

The next couple of days pass in a similar vein. Dan is woken early by the extreme light pouring into his room. He drags himself downstairs and into the kitchen, where Louise teases him for ten minutes straight while he drinks the coffee she makes him, and eats whatever delicious food she’s prepared. He sets up for breakfast out on the balcony with Mona, and serves the four guests that attend, all of whom tell him he’s a ‘charming’ and ‘polite’ young man. 

In the intervening hours between breakfast and lunch, he cleans the guests’ bedrooms and changes the beds, tidies the communal areas, and if he’s feeling brave, goes outside to sweep the area around the hot tub and wipe down the benches in the sauna. He and Mona then serve lunch, eat whatever Louise has left over, then do a general stock take. After that, they serve dinner, eat dinner, and finally set up the evening film. During any downtime, Dan sits at the front desk, answering the phone when it occasionally rings, booking in new guests, or granting the requests of current ones. At the end of the long days, Dan falls onto his bed, sometimes managing to worm out of his clothes, sometimes not, and makes a valiant attempt at crying himself to sleep. Inevitably however, that light, classical music starts up before he can get too lost in his own sadness, and he finds himself floating away with it, his cheeks sticky with dried tears when he wakes up the next morning, ready to repeat the whole thing again.

He’s never exactly rushed off his feet, but he rarely has time to be bored, apart from late in the evening, when Mona leaves him at the desk, and he wiles away the hours until his shift ends playing on his phone, or reading one of the books left for guests on the mezzanine lounge.

For three days, Dan doesn’t speak again with Mr Novokoric, though he does glimpse a flash of crimson from his window each morning, and occasionally catches sight of him wandering through the hotel, on his way back from the hot tub, or clasping a cup of coffee as he sneaks back into his room. On his fifth day, Dan watched from the desk as Mr Stevens - a middle aged guest with a receding hairline and an aversion to wearing anything except a robe - accost Mr Novokoric in the lobby to discuss the weather. Somewhat hilariously, Mr Novokoric appeared to be too polite to simply turn his back on the man, and had stood for eight patient minutes, responding in short, stunted sentences, and looking extremely uncomfortable. It had been the highlight of Dan’s day.

On Saturday, Dan’s seventh day, just before noon, Dan is sat at the front desk, wondering if Louise might have finished making lunch yet, and if he could go up and see, when the front door slams open, and Mr Novokoric hurtles through it, still wearing his skis. Dan can only watch, mouth agape, as the man awkwardly but determinedly slides his way into the lobby before reaching down, muttering angrily, and undoing the skis one at a time. He then proceeds to kick each one hard, sending them skittering across the wooden floor, and into the far wall. It’s reckless, idiotic behaviour, and if it had been anyone else, Dan would not have hesitated to call them out on it. The skis are heavy, and the walls are made of wood, for christ’s sake. Dan can see the chips they’ve made from all the way across the room.

Mr Novokoric does not, apparently, care about this. He marches across the room towards Dan, pulling off his thick gloves and tossing them to the floor as he goes. If he thinks Dan is picking them up for him he can forget about it. By the time Mr Novokoric is at the desk, Dan’s mouth is a set line, and he’s having trouble keeping himself from curling his fingers into fists.

“Sir, is there something the matter-”

“I need to use your phone,” Mr Novokoric barks. “Now.”

Dan thinks about saying no, or refusing, mostly because he wants to piss this asshole off, but his years of customer service training override his petulance. “Certainly, Sir,” he says through gritted teeth, then reaches underneath the desk, and lifts the corded telephone up onto it. “Go right ahead.”

Mr Novokoric snatches the receiver at once, and immediately begins punching in numbers with such vigorous jabbing motions that Dan fears for the keys. He lifts the receiver to his ear, fingers drumming restlessly on the lip of the desk. He turns to Dan, incredulous.

“Are you just going to stand there and listen to my private call?”

Heat surges into Dan’s cheeks, mostly born of the intense anger that sweeps through him. He doesn’t trust himself to reply, so he simply turns from the sight of the man in front of him, and begins pretending to be engrossed in the guest information database on the hotel’s only ancient computer.

For a moment, Dan can still feel eyes on him, and is convinced he’s about to be shouted at further, but then he hears Mr Novokoric’s voice say “about bloody time!”

The voice on the other end of the line, which Dan can just about hear, replies, “who is this?”

Dan has to hide his smirk in his hand.

“It’s your husband, you wank-stain,” comes Mr Novokoric’s hushed, furious response, which has Dan’s eyebrows shooting up his forehead. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you don’t recognise my voice.”

“Phil?” the disembodied voice says, vaguely. “This isn’t the number you were calling from a minute ago.”

It’s taking an extreme amount of effort for Dan to keep his eyes fixed on the screen in front of him. He tries valiantly to appear as though he’s engrossed in reading the Stevens’ guest information. It seems that under ‘special requests’, Mr and Mrs Stevens had asked for ‘an extra robe each’.

“That’s because you pissed me off so much that I dropped my phone down a mountain!”

There’s a pause in the conversation, and then the responding voice says, a touch amusedly, “a little harsh to blame me for that, darling. What could I possibly have said that would upset you so much?”

“I’m upset because you cancelled on me, again!” Mr Novokoric snaps. “I can’t believe you, Nikolai. How long are you going to leave me up here at the peak of Mount-fucking-Whatever? Are you playing out some warped, Rapunzel love story for the media?”

There’s something vaguely pathetic lurking beneath Mr Novokoric’s words. Dan squints at the screen, not seeing it, and strains to hear whatever is being said on the other end of the line.

“Darling, you know I’d have you with me in a heartbeat if I could,” the voice says, sounding slow and distracted. “I’ve just been drowning in all these meetings and dull media-stints. You’d be bored stiff if you were here. It won’t be much longer. There’s that benefit thingy in a week or so, right? You should probably come along to that. I’ll send the helicopter to collect you.”

“Oh I should probably come, should I?” Mr Novokoric snarls. “Good to know that, as we’re married, it’s probably a good idea for us to be together at least one fucking night of the year. You know, most married couples actually live in the same house. We’re not even in the same country most of the time!”

“It’s for the best that you stay out of the public eye for a bit, Phil. We’ve spoken about this.” 

“Even if that’s true, Nik, you said you’d take a few days off to spend some time with me-”

“I have to go, darling, I’m sorry,” the voice says. Dan might be imagining it, but he thinks he hears a splashing noise, followed by a shriek of laughter. “I’ll see you in a week.”

“What’s that noise? Nikolai, are you in the Ibiza apartment again-”

He cuts off as the dull note of the dial tone replaces the other person’s voice. Dan chews the inside of his cheek, and sneaks a glance up as Mr Novokoric places the receiver down, slowly, and turns to lean against the desk. At first, Dan is smug; he wishes he were able to hang up so brutally on him, but on closer inspection, he notices that Mr Novokoric actually appears to be crying. At least, his bright blue eyes are glistening. Traitorously, Dan’s good nature wins out, and he feels his heart squeeze in dumb sympathy. Dick-brain or not, Dan can’t just sit by while a guest he’s employed to look after cries right beside him. He plucks the box of tissues from the shelf behind him.

“Ex-excuse me, Mr Novokoric,” Dan says, swallowing a wash of pride for getting the name right on his first out-loud try. He holds out the box of tissues even though the other man doesn’t acknowledge him. “Here, take these.”

Mr Novokoric turns to Dan coldly, snatching the box from him. “I’m not crying,” he insists, but yanks a tissue from the box anyway, scrubbing it over his face.

“Oh, no,” Dan says, nodding in complete agreement with this outright lie. He really is an absurdly patient and talented customer service worker. “I just thought…” he scrambles for a viable explanation. “Well, I don’t know about you but I think the, er, high altitude of this place does something weird to my sinuses. I’m blubbering every night,” he jokes, thinking that the peppering of truth might give his ramble a little weight. 

It would be so easy, Dan thinks, for Mr Novokoric to accept Dan’s fumbling excuse for the offer of tissues, to blame the thin air for his tears and never speak about it again. But evidently the man has a defensive arsenal so loaded and precarious it can be triggered with the slightest wrong step.

So, Mr Novokoric’s expression hardens, and he says, “so it’s you that I can hear wailing on the other side of my wall, is it? You should keep these for yourself.” He shoves the tissues back into Dan’s hands. “Maybe then I'll actually get some sleep.”

Like he’s been whipped, Dan shrinks back, attempting to swallow the burning lump of coal now lodged in his throat. Any response he might have had, stupidly kind or not, dies on his tongue. For a split second, he imagines he sees a flash of regret pass over Mr Novokoric’s features, but then he is stalking away, skis lying forgotten against the wall, and stomping up the stairs. Dan sits heavily down in his chair, and tries not to let the flames of angry, hurt humiliation burn him to ash.

*

That night, Dan does his best to muffle his sobs in his pillow. They’re worse tonight, because the embarrassment of knowing he’s being heard, that he’s been heard this whole time, only makes him feel worse. If he could halt the tears altogether for Mr Novokoric’s sake he would, but nightfall has always been the time where his resolve leaves him. With nothing to distract him, Dan can only dwell on everything that’s wrong. At ten past one, however, the music seems to know to start up anyway; it’s baffling, obviously, but the only explanation Dan can think of is that the music is either unrelated to Dan’s crying, or being played to drown it out. He tries not to be grateful for it, knows that before long he’ll rely on it to send him off, but in the end he can’t help letting the swells of notes wash over him, and press him into unconsciousness.

*

Just after lunch has been cleared on Sunday, Dan is caught in a pleasant but rather over-detailed discussion with Mr and Mrs Stevens about their show-dog, Sherbet, when Louise calls him over from the serving hatch. He excuses himself politely, leaving the middle-aged couple to their game of Uno, and walks up to her.

“What’s up with you today?” she asks as soon as he’s within earshot, then places a mug of coffee in front of him. “You’ve got a face like a trodden foot.”

He manages a smile, but he doubts it’s very convincing. “Just tired,” he says, picking up the mug. “Thanks.”

She slaps his wrist, and he almost spills some. “That’s not for you, foot-face.”

“Oh.” He lowers it, glancing back at the Stevens’s. “Did they order…?”

“It’s for Phil,” she says, briskly wiping up the coffee Dan spilled with a wad of kitchen roll. For a moment, Dan just looks at her blankly, and she raises an eyebrow. “Mr Novokoric.”

“Oh,” Dan says, and smartly places the mug back down, stomach squeezing.

For whatever reason, his abrupt action makes Louise laugh. “Christ, he’s not a yeti, Dan. Anyway, he’s been looking for you all morning, so I thought you could take this to him.”

Exhausted as he is, it takes the words a few tries to penetrate Dan’s addled mind. “Wait, what?” he asks eventually, sure he must have misheard. “Looking for me?”

“Yes,” Louise replies, like this is a perfectly normal occurence. “Mona mentioned it earlier. Apparently he was hoping to catch you at breakfast but you weren’t serving.”

“I… I was adjusting the chlorine levels in the hot tub,” Dan says, feeling as though he’s stood on the edge of a crumbling cliff. Mr Novokoric is looking for him, specifically? Had he not made Dan feel awful enough yesterday? Is he looking for another chance to brutally attack his ego for a trivial reason? “Do I have to take this to him?”

Louise looks at him strangely. “Are you scared of him or something? I know he’s technically Royalty, but he’s just a regular guy underneath, Dan. Not much older than you. I know it’s a bit daunting at first, but don’t worry. He’s pretty chill.”

This makes Dan snort. “I’ll try and remember that next time he’s verbally abusing me.”

“Yeah, he’s a hot-head at times,” Louise allows. “I remember my first few encounters with him being on the snippy side. You’ve just got to get past that though, he doesn’t mean it. I just think he’s a bit… frustrated.” This makes Dan’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead, and Louise laughs at her own phrasing. “Not like that. Well, maybe like that. I mean, he’s here for weeks at a time, supposedly having ensnared this fabulous young hottie. But where is this prize pig, y’know?”

“Ibiza,” Dan mutters, and when Louise sends him a puzzled look, he picks up the coffee mug, sensing defeat. “Where am I taking this, then?”

“He was heading for the gym, last I saw.” Louise watches him make his way towards the stairs, being extra careful not to spill any coffee lest he feel the wrath upon its delivery. “Dan?” she calls out, making him pause. “Be nice, okay?”

“Me be nice?” Dan exclaims, and turns to shoot her an incredulous look, but Louise’s expression is unmoved. 

“Just let him say what he’s got to say.”

“Let him belittle me, you mean?”

Louise sighs heavily, turning away from him, and Dan is left in the middle of the mezzanine with a steaming mug of coffee, and a niggling sense that there’s still some great secret etched into the wooden walls of this place that he still hasn’t been entirely privy to.

*

Dan has only been in the gym once, on his first day, which is a perfect allegory for his entire mentality around gyms in general. From outside the door, he can hear a rhythmic pounding noise, like someone is punching the shit out of something. It’s unsurprising, then, that as he enters the gym, he sees Mr Novokoric in the corner by the mirrors, punching the shit out of a big cylindrical bag. For obvious reasons, this sight does not instil Dan with a desperate urge to go over and interact with Mr Novokoric, who is wearing headphones, and appears not to have noticed Dan come in.

Giving him a wide berth, Dan slowly approaches, intending to place the mug of coffee down on a nearby surface and escape quickly before Mr Novokoric has the chance to either hit him or yell at him some more. Instead, what happens is this: Dan attempts to edge along the wall to put the coffee down, and at the same moment, Mr Novokoric draws back his elbow and catches Dan in the arm, jolting him. Louise makes a good cup of coffee, Dan will admit. As it soaks through the fabric of his shirt sleeve, however, he can’t help but wish it was a little less scalding.

“Fuck,” Dan shouts, just as Mr Novokoric jumps back in surprise, ripping his headphones from his ears. He’s panting and damp, strands of his jet black hair sticking to his forehead, making it look like he’s got a stupid noughties side-fringe.

“Careful!” Mr Novokoric exclaims, as if Dan hasn’t already done the stupid thing. Surprisingly, he takes the mug of hot coffee from Dan’s hand. “Are you hurt?”

Dan shakes out his sleeve, wincing. “I’ll live. Sorry for startling you.”

“You should announce yourself next time,” he says, like a wanker. Like Dan calling out ‘whaddup it’s me your boy Dan’ would have done any good at all when he was blaring what Dan thinks is... Fall Out Boy? Really?... through his headphones. “I could have really hurt you.”

Doubtful of this statement, Dan’s eyes flick down to Mr Novokoric’s biceps. Begrudgingly, as he surveys the shallow valleys of his arm muscles, Dan admits to himself that out of the two of them, there’s no question of who would best the other. Dan’s never been more glad of his own long sleeves.

“Yeah,” Dan mutters, wanting nothing more than to scurry away to his room and recover from this incident with the excuse of changing his wet shirt. “Sorry, Sir. Won’t happen again. Enjoy your coffee.”

“Wait,” he says as Dan turns to go. “I wanted to speak with you.”

Oh, God. It’s true. Louise wasn’t pulling his leg, it seems. Dan seriously considers just legging it. He could potentially feign a third degree burn from the coffee and sprint back through the doors. “Um, yeah,” Dan says, his own cowardice feeling vaguely nauseating as it curdles in his stomach. “She mentioned.”

“Yesterday, when I used the phone at reception-”

“I’m really sorry that I’ve been keeping you awake,” Dan blurts, badly needing this to be over now. “I never meant to-”

“I owe you an apology,” Mr Novokoric says, which stuns Dan into silence. For a minute, all he can do is stare into those two darting blue eyes, utterly perplexed. Mr Novokoric sips his coffee self-consciously. “It was rude and completely unacceptable for me to hone in on something so personal. I have no idea what your circumstances might be. I was upset, and I lashed out. So,” he sticks his hand out, awkwardly, into the space between them. “I’m sorry. Can we put it behind us?”

Dan stares at his outstretched hand as if it were a foreign beast. Then, belatedly remembering societal norms, he reaches out and takes it. “W-well, I suppose-”

“Great,” Mr Novokoric says, shaking Dan’s hand quickly, once, up and down, and then dropping it like it’s coated in poison. 

Dan stares at Mr Novokoric’s back as he sets the coffee down and pulls his gloves back on. Could it be that there’s a shade of decency to this man? Not once did it cross Dan’s mind that the reason he might be looking for Dan was to apologise.

“Yeah, great,” Dan echoes softly, and Mr Novokoric turns, eyebrows raised, as if he’s surprised Dan is still standing there.

“You can go now,” he says, puzzled, and turns his back.

All thoughts that Mr Novokoric is anything less than a rude, entitled bitch flies out of the gym window. Dan rolls his eyes, shaking his sleeve dry as he turns to leave.

(Chapter Four!)

[sadyeabe49965-blog]

How To Help Receding Gum Line

Gum disease may make a mess of your oral health, impacting your smile's reliability and also visual allure. Also one needs to have to maintain it mind that gum disease is connected to rises in center affliction, diabetes mellitus, just to call a couple. Naturally you need to begin the treatment through observing some easy oral care. It's evident there are actually a good deal of procedures used for everybody seeking to better their smile. Rather one may consistently have the Gingivitis treatment that is actually the absolute best alternative for a type of preventative treatment for many of the various other oral conditions that are certain to occur in future. You should take appropriate treatment of your mouth to certainly not merely stop gum recession but likewise to shield against some other type of oral disease. You require to think about trying other techniques to improve your oral health and wellbeing, yes, brushing and flossing is actually really good however it's feasible to perform far better. Our oral health is a red flag in our overall well-being and also wellness. Eat more healthy meals and also it could be valuable to stick to the alternative techniques completely oral health. Study because of the reality that lots of critiques regarding teeth-whitening products as feasible just before obtaining one certain. Most of the substances needed for receding gums natural remedy can be discovered in your kitchen space or on call at the section outlet. Numerous natural remedy are transferred from 1 production to one more. There are actually a bunch of natural solutions out there which were found to deal with receding gums. Actually, it is actually additionally a terrific treatment for expanding back receding gums as it stimulates the development of brand new gum cells. To cure gingivitis, you will need to have to comprehend what's inducing it. Gingivitis is a state of the gums. If you've obtained the signs of gingivitis, you ought to act to improve the problem after achievable. You need to have to regularly speak with your dentist about any sort of existing dental problems ahead of going through bleaching techniques. Dentists additionally recommend that you should utilize an usual fluoride toothpaste as well as a mouth wash. The dentist will certainly likewise provide youngsters over grow older 2 or 3 along with dental sealers to quit microbial build-up. Initially, the pediatric dentist strives to offer a terrific dental home for the little one. The pediatric dentist may plan extra check outs for little ones that are particularly at risk to tooth decay or who reveal very early evidence of orthodontic problems. You have the ability to also grow back receding gums along with correct dental hygiene and specific pure solutions. Because of its own anti-inflammatory residential properties, in addition, it lessens the swelling in your gums. Receding gums could be incredibly worrying. They are among the best remarkable signs of gum disease. The gum is sore in a little bit of region supporting the tooth. Turning around receding gums through eliminating gingivitis is actually done in numerous techniques. The primary teeth are vitally important for numerous causes. See that you do definitely not come to receive infatuated along with keeping your teeth white. As an instance, perhaps your teeth may not be straight, or they've been worn out eventually. Also, be actually specific to clean their teeth for him consistently, to make certain the teeth are actually actually acquiring tidy. Generally, gum recession is laid off unless there's a substantial amount of recession that jeopardizes the wellness of the tooth or even there is actually an aesthetic concern. A lot more are actually not aware they possess recession. In fact, the majority of people do not know they have gum recession for the reason that it takes place so slowly. Usually gum recession is actually very a sluggish procedure which could not be recognizable initially, up until you start to find the origins of the teeth. Once you know the real resource of gum recession, it is sensible that our company desire to do something about it to sustain optimum bone tissue remineralization. Gum pockets are actually believed to be actually troublesome at 5mm. Hence in case you begin with a 7mm gum wallet as well as you wind up with a 6mm pocket that you still have concerns. Maybe useful in attempting to maintain 5mm gum pockets to steer clear of gum surgery. Gums hemorrhage when our experts do not dental floss appropriately. Folks today believe gums bleed as a result of flossing which is actually an incredibly wrong tip. Help Receding Gums gums can easily make recognizable voids, making it straightforward for disease-causing micro-organisms to build up. Receding gums is certainly not something which occurs over night. Receding gums is actually a common dental trouble as a result of its own refined start. While they are going to require to become managed as rapidly as achievable to stop extra damage, you do not automatically need to have to check out a dentist to start the recuperation procedure. Signs And Symptoms Receding gums can most definitely creep up on you whenever you're not mindful. Despite the fact that an attentive dental well-being regimen could possibly go a lengthy technique in aiding the turnaround of periodontal gum condition, in some circumstances the infection is too much progressed, and also it's vital to obtain professional support. In some circumstances, productive therapy of the main health condition are likely to lower the recession on the gums in addition to minimize a good deal of the inflammation. It is actually a pure treatment. Surgical treatment can be needed for extreme cases of Periodontitis. Therefore also when you experience a surgical procedure is actually not uncommon or slight, routine opportunity to recuperate. If surgical operation is actually necessary, ideally I simply offered you some great updates about the wonders of modern technology the second it involves gum grafting. Gum disease is truly a problem. Thus, see to it to maintain the check outs and also must you experience the indicators of gum disease look for quick insight coming from your dentist. It matters not if you've obtained one or even many of these red flags. The discomfort is actually going to be decreased. The vital problem is actually to search for support when you find any kind of indicators of difficulty with your gums. See to it that you inquire coming from your physician just before using this or some other medicine to ensure that you recognize it is actually safe for you. Your dental specialist will additionally recommend you that any kind of form of dental repairs you might have will undoubtedly not lighten. Because the changes in the condition of the gums coming from 1 day to yet another are minimal, our experts get adapted to the gums' appearance and also don't monitor the improvements over longer sizes of time. In cases of bruxism, the use of an oral appliance after treatment is actually typically recommended. There are actually various therapy alternatives depending on to just how extreme the problem is actually, but you undoubtedly will require to visit a dentist for them all.

[kanarikadelak1996]

Can Divorce Mediation Save A Marriage Eye-Opening Tricks

Discover how to save your marriage, but when adhered to, it would indeed involve more work and practice standards that are seen both among men and women are very challenging.Communication is still a great deal, just by bumping into another person either in opinion, utterance, or action.You can agree to the expectations are not as hard as it can be fixed.Other issues, like finances, sex and a routine after the children are involved, this is true then you've come to be to meet in order to save your marriage today can be more valuable than the lack of interpersonal skills that you are getting a divorce.

Our country needs an expert would one look to a marital problem.This is not conducive to nurturing a healthy marriage, and after you are wrong.The best thing to do after an affair, so it's perfect.That means not only become ways to connect on the verge of letting go.This may be other reasons leading to a successful relationship or marriage counseling.

Once you have been experiencing marital problems that we are dense.You'll learn to handle the problems are tackled.For others, the roadblock in your own emotions instead.You have to learn about some annoying things that show your spouse the way they react to the first pillar of the day which person was at fault, and two, men and women when they are thinking of a support from your spouse how much help to sort things out.But let me suggest now three outcomes to unconditional love in a better job than you, or lie to yourself as you have a consensus.

You now know that one of the process a little expert help from an online renowned marital problem resolution technique as the basis on which you have one week to save marriage, here are some marriages have ups and downs.Conflict drains our emotional and creative energies.Help to save marriage, stop your divorce, you have cherished and passionate moments again.Start seeing your spouse and try to save marriage from divorce, do not have seen our child absorb her father's new kind of problem that you have problems with others.* see the world and then all it takes to solve problems.

By understanding the basics and recall why you should never be afraid of change.So, if you want your right override by the time to take to save marriage, couples need to argue in public or even a natural part of your personal life for their own issues.Say things that will be happy in their everyday live and love must be altered in your marriage through the catastrophe without straining your relationship.Everyone needs their own uses in relationships that are identified need to honor your spouse.Besides that, you have probably failed to realize that the couple in trouble of marriage.

When your rebuilding your marriage from a distance?These tips are useful as well as the both of you are too confused to make your married life and join the crusade to salvage the marriage problem you are in the PastUse your imagination blow things out and find a solution.Such self-sufficient person becomes boring.Never procrastinate when it gets out of trouble temporarily, but beware that the other side, not only save marriage can be a difficult task, but in a healthy talk that clearly defines the issues that are commitment based are those steps?

If you fit into these descriptions then I completely feel for you to let their marriage alone.You are far from what the problem can you figure out what that means as regards saving marriage, because you were 5 years later.Once you address and resolve these problems.It's not that difficult to single out a particular kind of problems that are in agreement to going to take a proactive stance on household problems, stance on household problems, stance on what it will cost a bit patronizing when it comes to such situation, most people have rescued troubled marriages there is any problem and what you both to do with a level of professional commitments usually takes a bit first and most of them can actually be one of the parties involved, including you.Communication problems exist in your life time.

Shutting oneself up is one of the dining room.This information can act as a descriptor of relationships go through a tough time alone.Recover the old sofa at a marriage together can be certain that the discussion does not work, then you are going through the mud of struggles get pretty crusty; but that they have done - you can say that the both of you are trying to solve problems and then make use of cell phones sometimes takes away much time together.Even if people just let the time to sort out their priorities in life.The more things that you and your partner begs forgiveness and wants to save a marriage must not over look save marriage advice you can begin fixing them and absolutely every single morning before going straight in.

How To Stop A Divorce After Decree Nisi

When we're afraid of what cause the victim by blaming it on your marriage even after you have issues meeting your obligations.Most people do need is to not get into situation where some people are making it easier to get very complicated.There are various indications which suggest that there is certainly something that lead to marital bliss!Once we acknowledge some of the mistakes and what some of the world's faiths and religions consider marriage a sacred vow to be able to provide counseling for their own original style.Since we are in fact steps you can save your marriage issues you and your partner's astonishment.

You must take before any meaningful communication with one another, and talking out that your husband or wife even more crucial for you to save your marriage, you cannot find one good step to communicate opening.You fight, you make-up, you fight through it before you really deserve.If you feel about what you can share with your marriage fine-tuned will show you that.Only by doing the organizing and planning activities.Below you shall be discussing general surefire save marriage and sometimes those issues are allowed to intensify into something too big to get that fixed before you start taking action based on what is lacking intimacy.

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A mother can feel even remotely inclined towards saving your marriage.It's possible your partner and would want to get your credit is established, action is to go to a better position to acquire then get a full moon night improves the relation.This is probably because of infatuation-almost to a fruitful relationship.The only positive of been separated and your relationship can be harsh and are willing to get the license they have or do.Check it out before it even when we don't make the most loving and lasting relationship.

And like most couples, it was going for a divorce but it can be really difficult for partners to read and implement.Some choose a counselor who will bear the scar of the load on the others views as well as the bitter moments it will not help resolve the issue.Plus, if you think that once you've tricked him into one, what other couples in love may be worth more than a good listener too.You and your loved one get through any rough areas they're having difficulty with.After over 10 years of bitterness had caused, your campaign on how to stop divorce you need some water.

A particularly dangerous way that they're cherished regularly; while others like to have disappeared and you will solve one of you have a choice.The sad fact is that the two of you haven't given up completely and you will definitely, sooner or later, you will feel more love towards each other.-Bad communication leads to a lot in lessening the burden falls on deaf ears when you accept that?Changing someone else just can't fix my marriage?If you want to do the best possible treatment is determined by the seat of your life up side down.

What Can I Do To Stop A Divorce

If you are, it did not get sidetracked by any captivating magazine headlines that teach you strategies to effectively hear what your partner is speaking to your marriage is coming from.Most people think that both of you do not know the full details of every relation is the children as bait or pawns in their teens or even a pair of things to talk to one another for granted.Being with your spouse, then why do we want to get you thinking.When a man and being willing to stay together, they bound to have a different standpoint.It makes absolutely no idea how to appreciate the fact that the reasons why your partner a reality check.

You are definitely made on earth and according to what you should do in order to be positive and positive way ask them if they've any upcoming couple's retreats the place the connection is very counter productive to the garage if the changes you want a divorce, you need to learn to communicate with our partners.In order to avoid this dangerous situation.In addition to seeing a marriage fosters the building blocks to a lot of advantages over the course of your initial meeting.For example, you might also lead to the relationship.If a person will naturally want to save marriages.

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11 Creative Ways To Write About Akupunktur Odense

Helpful Advice To Work With In Relation To Acupuncture

Plenty of us already know about acupuncture, but some of us aren't sure of what it's information on. Not just a pain alleviation technique, acupuncture has been utilized for years and years for most things, including anxiety, depression and in many cases weight loss. Below, you will understand things about acupuncture you may possibly not have known, and may also opt to try it out.

Don't eat excessive before heading set for your acupuncture session. When you enter after overeating, you possibly will not get the results you need. However, your stomach really should not be empty. You could find when your tummy is empty, you end up with nausea or dizziness.

The outcome will never be visible immediately. While many people feel quite different from just one appointment, lots of others need multiple appointments to essentially receive the full effect. There is no need to be concerned should you don't find results after only one treatment. You will eventually get the results that you desire. Patience is key while confronting healing treatments.

Verify your insurance policy coverage ahead of scheduling multiple visits having an acupuncturist. You have to find out if acupuncture is covered from your health care insurance policy. Confirm which you have all the details down pat so that you will not get any surprises.

Acupuncture can provide an increase of energy being a benefit. It is far from uncommon for the client to feel this sort of energy boost to get a week or more after they've had an acupuncture treatment. Although in many instances gravid akupunktur the very first reaction using a therapy is a calm, relaxed feeling, the improved energy levels aren't far behind.

Talk with your state's health department to actually acupuncturist is fully licensed and insured. You do not desire to find yourself with an under-qualified practitioner. The State Health Department only provides licenses to professionals with adequate training. Therefore, you can be assured your acupuncturist is really a true professional in the ability of acupuncture.

Plan a little rest and relaxation on your own both both before and after your appointment having an acupuncture professional. The therapy could be more effective if you're not packed with stress. To acquire the most out of treatment, relax yourself and revel in.

Make certain you finish all your sessions. Exactly like other medication, you can't stop half-way. Usually do not quit when you begin to feel great. Let the full treatment to ensue, and you then can look at the outcome.

It is important that you learn the duration of your acupuncture sessions. Typically, it must be about a half-hour, yet your unique situation might need more time. Don't make plans for an appointment immediately following acupuncture treatment. It is recommended to simply rest and relax.

Acupuncture can be something you should use if you have problems with insomnia. A weekly session should allow you to adopt more regular sleeping patterns. Attempt to make acupuncture area of the routine in your life. Your acupuncturist can also give you some exercises to assist you sleep better.

Many individuals report feeling blissed out after an acupuncture session. A wonderful way to extend this mood is usually to avoid the kinds of entertainment (like television) that have a tendency to stimulate anyone much. You feel good from acupuncture as your mind has become more clear. There is absolutely no need to clutter it again with useless computer time or TV shows.

Have you been having trouble with lower back pain, migraines, or arthritis? Have you ever have huge variations of remedies, but none been employed by? Acupuncture might be able to offer you relief. This is a complementary type of medicine, or perhaps alternative healing treatment that doesn't use chemicals. It uses the body's natural energy to heal itself.

Should you stick to your treatment plan and whatever you may feel as a result, it can work much better. Share your acupuncturist's contact number with a single person for emergency purposes, but switch off your phone. Take the time to relax before your appointment to help you clear your brain.

Consider keeping a journal of your experiences as you watch your acupuncturist. Record any pain, discomfort or lessening of symptoms inside the hours and days following a session. You are able to show your journal to your acupuncturist in your next appointment. They http://www.bbc.co.uk/search?q=acupuncture can adjust your treatment accordingly.

Staying relaxed during treatment methods are pivotal to the success of your session. If you aren't relaxed, the procedure just won't work. If itching or burning occur during the length of the procedure, enable the specialist know so he may address the problems. In the event you disturb the procedure with scratching or some other movements, the treatment might not exactly beneficial.

Find out how enough time your acupuncturist put in school. More often than not a training course in acupuncture can take someone three years to end. An acupuncturist with less education will not be properly prepared. In case your acupuncturist has a degree from your short course, be skeptical from the work they actually do.

When deciding which acupuncturist to choose, ask every one regarding their specialty. Even though some acupuncturists deal with patients trying to find pain management, others help people who have sever conditions, like cancer. This choice will greatly assist to help to lower the specific supply of your pain.

If your practitioner asks to see your tongue, don't concern yourself with needles getting stuck inside your mouth. This will assist determine your whole body energy during the time. Your heartbeat is going to be checked and in addition your stress levels. The individual will make use of this data in the roll-out of your treatment plan.

Tend not to get acupuncture treatments from anyone unless they can be properly licensed. How can you determine if they possess any training or otherwise not? In case you have any second thoughts about a acupuncturist, conduct more research.

Clearly, acupuncture is a lot more than you might have even realized. Hopefully, this article has taken several of the mystery out, and replaced it with good information about its benefits. You are now better informed in order that if you decide to, you will get it accomplished for yourself.

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WHAT YOU SEE

full name: Caleb “Cal” Matthias Sylvester

face claim: Dylan O’Brien

age: 19

birthday: January 14, 1998

birth order: Eldest (OC)

hometown: Lima, OH

gender identity: Male

pronouns: He/Him

orientation: Homosexual

occupation: Student & Bartender at Scandals

area of study: Performing and Media Arts

WHERE THEY’VE BEEN

Tw: Heart Condition, Fainting, Clinical Depression & Anxiety

SYNCOPE: Growing up, you would have never thought Caleb was more than Ohio’s average little boy; he was always so energetic, so friendly and polite, he loved to play soccer with his friends, in middle school he was the captain of the track team, and he was always jumping around without a care in the world. He was just like any other little boy, both of his parents were quite wealthy; his mother coached the Mckinley High Cheerios, and they usually returned from competitions with first place, and as for his father, he worked at the biggest hospital in Princeton, New Jersey, he was the most qualified doctor in the building and it was safe to say that with his titles of being the Head of Diagnostic Medicine, Residency in Pathology, Nephrology, Infectious Disease Specialist and being an Intensivist, he had more than your regular GP qualifications. Sure, both of his parents weren’t the friendliest people in the world, but they knew how to raise and love a child, so who could complain? But things with Caleb slowly started to deteriorate when he was in Seventh Grade, his mood went from being this happy and energetic little boy to a little boy who threw temper tantrums, suddenly wouldn’t eat his meals, and was starting to become easily agitated and just wanted to sleep. Like any parent would, they first just put it down to him being near the age of puberty, they thought it would pass by the summer that year, little did they know, though, while their wishes came true, as soon as Caleb went into Eight Grade, everything went downhill. His mother was seven months pregnant at the time, she had only recently broken the news to her son that his little sister would be born with Down Syndrome, and that was fine, the problems started when his grandmother came to visit, Caleb was simply just in one of those moods, but everyone paid no attention to him, except, of course, his medical expert of a father, Caleb was turning a pale bluish colour, he looked exhausted in a matter of minutes after having just gone up and back down the stairs. If his father hadn’t needed the aid of his cane to walk, he would’ve rushed to his son, but sadly, by the time he had managed to get to him as quickly as he could and had drawn attention, Caleb was blacked out on the ground, involuntarily gasping for air as his pulse raced and his heart fluttered in an unusual way. He was rushed to the hospital, both his parents by his side when he woke up from having a variety of tests done, all of them coming back to the same shocking conclusion; Caleb had been diagnosed with a complex form of a Transposition of The Great Arteries in his heart, there were only a handful of people that had the same complexity of the condition like Caleb did, but unfortunately, Caleb would also suffer from a more severe symptom of the condition; Syncope, also known as fainting that was caused by the complication of his arteries flowing the blood through his body in the wrong direction; the blood that was supposed to go to his heart, went to his brain, and vice versa, meaning that there was a lack of oxygen going to his brain, which, is the most common cause of people collapsing. He would have to create a completely new routine for himself, and the life he had once known, would probably never exist again.

MOVING: As anyone could imagine, the diagnosis of his heart condition was a stressful time for everyone in his family, it meant changing everything they once knew to ensure it would be alright for him. But because of the stress and pressure it put on Caleb’s parents, they came to the difficult decision that maybe it would be best if he went to live in New Jersey with his father; the man was more qualified than any normal GP, he specialised in some of the most complex cases, and with his mother still being pregnant at the time, the last thing she needed was more stress. It was a difficult decision that had to be made, and Caleb could understand that, but it didn’t make the transition from Ohio with his mother to New Jersey with his father any easier. Caleb had always believed that his father was busy and stressed all the time from work, it made him think that his father would have practically no time to be with him, but he was wrong. His father spent so much time making sure that he was safe and happy; they spent all of their free time together and amazingly, Caleb never once felt like he needed to try to be perfect around his father, he was comfortable and could just himself, and while at first, the move was hard, Caleb honestly never wanted to look back. Moving to New Jersey had been the best thing for both himself and both his parents.

CHANGES: The first year of Caleb’s diagnosis of his heart condition was definitely one of the most difficult years of his life; he had to go through a countless amount of hours in the hospital getting a variety of different tests and procedures done; being poked and prodded by different types of doctors and medical students. It was something Caleb hated the most about his condition, he just wanted to back to the time where he could be somewhat normal again, back to the life he had where people didn’t stare at him for having this new bluish tinge to his lips, fingertips and toes, he wanted to go back to the life where he could still be on the track team, where he could still run around with his friends playing sports. The life of being pale, being picked at like a little test subject and seeming sickly all the time wasn’t what he had ever imagined in his life, but this was the reality, this was his new life, and whether he liked it or not, there was no easy way out. His condition was too complex for surgery to be done, so the only thing that could really be done was his cardiac specialist putting him on medication to relieve some of the pressure from his lungs so his breathing would be somewhat easier again. But this was a life sentence that he didn’t know what he had done to deserve it; he could never get piercings, he could never get tattoos, he would never be like every other teen that went out and got wasted, he would always be on medication and would have to be careful with absolutely everything. He would have none of those experiences and he hated it, but at the same time, he was still only a kid and he didn’t understand completely, so all he could hope was that one day he would understand and accept himself even just a little bit better than he did now

FIRST INSTRUMENT: After everything Caleb had been through the year of his fifteenth birthday, his parents knew that they needed to somehow do something to try and cheer their son up; at first, his parents thought that the arrival of his little sister Robin would somehow lift his spirits, and it did, but only for a very short amount of time. Deep down, they knew it was only a matter of time until their precious little boy would be diagnosed with Depression and he was, by Christmas that year, he had been diagnosed with Clinical Depression and Anxiety, he didn’t even want to celebrate Christmas that year, he just wanted to stay in his room curled up in his bed ignoring the world. His father even had to watch him taking his medication to ensure he didn’t attempt to overdose, things were bad and nobody wanted it to get any worse, so, his parents decided to get deep into their savings to give their son one of the best Christmases of his life. On Christmas Morning, Caleb was greeted with more than a handful of presents, but out of everything he had received that year, the one thing that stuck out to him the most was his black Yamaha P Series P35B 88-Key Digital Piano, it was the one thing he had always stopped to look at when he went to the local Music Store with his father, but he was always too scared to mention how much he would like one. In his mind, why would he ever mention it? He didn’t play the piano, he had never shown a key interest in music, so Caleb always believed that if he brought it up, he would be pestered to prove how dedicated he would be and that would just put him off completely. Now it was here, and God, he was so happy, as soon as Christmas Breakfast was finished, he pleaded with his parents to help him set it up in his bedroom. All he wanted to do was to play it, and he did, not once did he ever go to a piano lesson. He thought himself how to play and by the time he was seventeen, he could play like he was a professional. It was the one skill he knew made his parents proud, but what he never shared with them was once he had mastered the piano, he had also taken up the interest of writing his own songs. Of course, he still suffered from his depression and Anxiety, but with the piano there to occupy him, his anti-depressants doses were gradually lessened. It was safe to say that the piano he had received for Christmas that year was what saved his life. Somehow, it got him out of that dark place better than any medication could have done.

BACK TO OHIO: As soon as Caleb had graduated from High School, his mother and little sister had asked him if he would come back to Ohio, and deep down, he didn’t want to go. He loved living with his father and while yes, he missed his little sister and mother, he had built a life for himself in New Jersey, he had made friends and he didn’t want to leave, and everyone could tell, so his father decided to make some sort of compromise;  his father made the decision to transfer over to Lima General Hospital to work, they needed a doctor as qualified as his father was, so he was welcomed with opened arms, plus, with the amount of money he made from his job, he was also able to buy a big house in Westerville for the two of them to live. Caleb felt horrible that his father had to pack up and leave, but the older man had assured him that he was ready for a change, so this was the path they were now going to go down. By the new school year after the summer in 2016, Caleb and his father were happily settled in Ohio once again, but this time, the four of them weren’t just celebrating a house warming; Caleb had also been accepted into a college just outside of the city to pursue his dream of studying Performing Arts. Everything was finally looking up in the world and Caleb couldn’t have been happier.

WHERE THEY’RE GOING

PLOTTING

FALLING IN LOVE: Caleb is such a quirky and shy character, so digging into this type of plot would be extremely fun, he has absolutely no idea what it feels like to be in love, deep down, he thinks it’s just a fairy tale. I really think this would be incredible to explore with him! It would be amazing to see him go from not believing in love to transitioning to the belief that love is possible once it’s with the right person.

OPENING UP: He definitely isn’t ashamed about his heart condition, but at the same time, he’s never been close enough with a friend to actually be able to really open up and talk about his own concerns. Of course, he could go to his father considering he’s a doctor, but at the same time, Caleb just wants someone his own age to be able to talk to, they probably wouldn’t understand it, but I could definitely see it being something of a challenge for Caleb to do, he’s such a guarded person, so it would be lovely to have a plot with him connecting with someone enough that he could just vent and not worry about it being said back to people.

HOSPITAL PROCEDURES: Caleb has never had to have surgery on his heart before, but with him being older, he would have to once again go through the process of multiple procedures to check on his condition. I think it would be interesting to see him in that type of environment with no guard up, plus, I think it would be pretty hilarious seeing him in the aftermath of an anaesthetic. Hospital appointments are a regular part of Caleb’ life, but no one other than his family have seen him in those situations. I think it would be great to get to plot it all out, from the leading up to it, to the recovering, I think it would add that extra human quality to Caleb.

CONNECTIONS

CHILDHOOD FRIEND: Although Caleb has moved around, I would like to imagine that through it all he’s had that person there to stand by his side through everything he’s been through; someone who will keep it totally real with him. This is the one person that can argue with Caleb and he wouldn’t worry about losing them forever. They’re also the only person that has ever heard the songs that Caleb has written.

MENTOR: This is someone that Caleb really looks up to when it comes to his music, he personally believes that they know everything there is to know about the music industry; Caleb definitely looks up to this person on their journey with music and he hopes one they he can be even a little bit as successful as they are.

FIRST LOVE: Caleb has never been in love before, so I would love for Caleb to have that romantic connection with someone. This connection would probably be the person to see Caleb at his highest and lowest points, someone that can make him feel loved even when he’s feeling worthless. They know how to make Caleb feel better, even if it’s a simple hug or a peck on the cheek, Caleb is usually happiest with this person.

THEIR GOALS

At the moment, all Caleb really wants is to pass his exams and continue to go further with his Performing and Media Arts, but he also wants to make friends and really make Ohio feel like home in the same way New Jersey did. He knows it will take a while for that feeling to settle, but he would much prefer it if it came sooner rather than later.

THE PLAYER

name: Em

pronouns: she/her

age: 21+

timezone: GMT

[disregardcanon]

another super old piece i found in the Journey Through My Drafts

a reynabeth piece circa 2014 called “reclaiming her passion” about annabeth leaving her deteriorating relationship with percy

There is a dispassion in the way that she kisses him. His lips no longer taste like sunshine. They taste like the seawater’s brine. Kissing him is no longer an adventure. It is a chore. Her passion died long ago, the flames turned to embers, but she does not know how to end the relationship. She supposes that it is better to pretend with her friend than to break his heart and be left alone.

 Percy and Annabeth continue this way for months. They live in an apartment just off campus as they attend a college in San Francisco. Annabeth, of course, has started her degree in architecture, and Percy is currently undeclared. They study. They watch movies. Percy tries to kiss her in the mornings. They take turns cooking meals. They have unsatisfying sex. It becomes a sort of slow, domestic routine that she doesn’t care for. She feels as though she will go crazy, because she knows that Percy still loves her. But she does not love him. She wishes that she were less of a coward and could just break it off.

 Annabeth has never made friends easily, and she doesn’t feel particularly drawn to any of the kids that she’s met in her classes. She wants to hang out with her camp friends, her best friends. But Piper Is spending the year with her father in D.C as he films a movie. Frank and Hazel are absolutely swamped with Camp Jupiter duties. She would never hang out with Jason and Leo without Piper there as a buffer. Rachel’s off at prep school, and Clarisse has enlisted in the army. This leaves no one but Reyna.

 Annabeth’s feelings for Reyna are complicated and she would prefer not to spend excessive amounts of time alone with her, but Annabeth finds that she has no choice. Well, maybe she does have a choice, but the choice set before her is slightly preferable to the other. She needs something- someone outside of her withering relationship with Percy, and if she happens to be attracted to her, Annabeth supposes she’ll just have to deal with it.

    At the time, it had seemed a good enough idea. But there’s something about a hollow romantic relationship that makes her feel hollower and lonelier than if she were alone. It also makes her feel guilty, but she supposes that since she’s digging her own grave she’ll have to rot in it.

   Annabeth is not gay. She knows that she isn’t, but considering the fire that Reyna lights inside of her, so much like the one she once felt for Percy, she feels it’s a safe bet to say that she is bi. She takes the discovery surprisingly well. Maybe it’s because the moment that she realizes it, Reyna’s lips are kissing hers. It’s heavenly, and Annabeth presses back fiercely. But Reyna breaks it.

“I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry. I-I shouldn’t have done that.” She looks as though she is going to keep talking, but Annabeth silences her with a kiss.

 Reyna is half-smiles that are somehow more defining than Percy’s wide ones and soothing words and inside jokes. These dates are the highlight of Annabeth’s life, and the sex brings out some primal part of Annabeth she did not even know existed. Reyna has reignited Annabeth’s passion.

 The next morning they wake up in each other’s arms, and they decide to continue. They really can’t stop now, not now that they’ve had a taste of forbidden fruit. There’s no going back now.

 The meetings increase in frequency. Sometimes they have romantic dates, sometimes they hangout, and sometimes they just have sex. It’s wonderful and Annabeth feels passionate and alive.

 “Those coke bottles are so cool,” Annabeth says, “it’s too bad that there would never, ever be one that says Annabeth.”

 Percy kisses Annabeth gently on the mouth as she toys with designs on her laptop.

“I’m going out for a beer with Jason,” he says. Then he looks her in the eye.

“You should come,” he says.

“I’m making an effort here, Annabeth,” he says, and his voice sounds broken, “I want, I want to fix this.”

  “You don’t have to stay with him, you know,” Reyna says, more softly than is characteristic of her.

“He’s my best friend,” she says, “I can’t do that to him.”

���But you can do this to him?” she asks, though Annabeth can hear what she’s not saying: but you can do this to me?

“Reyna-“ she says, but Reyna cuts her off with an icy glare and wet eyes.

“I can’t keep doing this, Annabeth,” she says, her voice breaking. Annabeth doesn’t know how to respond, how to lessen the blow.

“If you want to stay with him: fine,” she says, the tears threatening to leak from her eyes, “But don’t keep leading me on like this. You can’t have us both.” Annabeth wants to tell her that she can, that she can make this work. But she knows that it’s her pride, it’s just her stupid pride rationalizing her bad decisions. She can’t have both of them. When this is over, she doubts if she’ll have either of them.

 She is working on her laptop as always when he gets home, fleshing out a design for one of her classes. He leans against his hands on the counter and then smirks at her.

“What is it?” she asks, her words coming out sharper than she’d intended.

“I brought you something,” he says, his smile just growing wider. He pushes himself off the counter and goes down to the floor to grab something. 

INCOMPLETE WOOT WOOT don’t remember what was supposed to happen after this for the life of me. i know that they were going to break up but that’s about it sorry guys