#but there wasn't so much a trigger for that as everything just sort of catching up with her

[obsessedwithceleste]

Mattheo Riddle Headcannons

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

Being the son of the Dark Lord is no easy task. Obviously.

Growing up, Mattheo had very limited contact with other people, which stunts his social skills a lot, especially with his peers

Once he breaks out and has the ability to meet other people, he's 100% an extrovert because he feels like he has to make up for everything that he missed out on

Growing up alone though made him very independent and self sufficient

Lots of trust issues, lots of abandonment issues

But he's also very bad at picking up on social cues, and reading other people's emotions

He grew up being outwardly judged by everyone around him, which caused him to develop a sort of apathetic attitude as a buffer

This gives him a sense of freedom because if he doesn't care about other's opinions, he can do whatever he wants, they'll judge him either way, so why not do what makes him happy

Mattheo also has a deep internal rage

Like, level 11 out of 10 on the scale of anger issues

He bottles up all his emotions and frustration with the world, often lashing out and exploding at the smallest triggers

His frustration mostly stems from the fact that it's not fair that he's suffering for the actions of his father. Because at the end of the day, he's still innocent in all of it

This is also why he's particularly spiteful and disdainful of authoritarian figures

He simply doesn't owe them anything

At Hogwarts it's hard for him at first. It's pretty clear that he didn't have much of a childhood and that he was forced to grow up much too fast

And once again, he finds himself being judged by everyone, so nothing new

His biggest pet peeve is when someone complains about a minor "tragedy" from their childhood, because he's absolutely certain that he had it worse

Lowkey victim complex™️

He's able to eventually bond closely with Theodore Nott, sharing a lot of similar childhood trauma (we <3 trauma bonding) and surprisingly Lorenzo Berkshire who shares his fuck-all mentality

Many assume that he's a malicious bully, based solely on his last name, but he's really more of a chaos instigator

He rebels against authority and stands up for what he might find to be an injustice, but he'd never go after someone without cause

Hogwarts is one of the first places he's able to truly act his age

He joins the Slytherin quidditch team,

He's a beater (which is kind of therapeutic as it allows him to let out a lot of his anger)

Often skives off of class,

He's not book smart like Theo, but makes up for it with street smarts

And likes to pull Theo into the fray simply because he can

This is also how he gets his reputation for frequently sleeping around to put it nicely

Mattheo grew up with a distinct lack of affection from those around him which causes him to search out any hint of it that he can find

He doesn't really use girls per se, he just doesn't quite understand the concept of love

But when Mattheo falls, he falls hard

The first time he catches feelings, he's absolutely terrified that he's under the influence of a love potion

Very confused, very upset, and denies it to the ends of the Earth

But once he comes around, he's all in

He doesn't like to think of himself as jealous, just territorial.

Jealousy is when something isn't yours and you want it. But you belong to him, and he'll be damned if he doesn't defend his territory

He also isn't shy at all when it comes to PDA, simply because he wants everyone to know what's his

Definitely love bombs, but he doesn't know what that means

Won't bat an eye before hexing someone for looking at you too long (will act innocent and pretend it wasn't him)

Honestly probably would not be the best partner initially because he's so used to being independent

And would likely try to hide a lot of his anger and emotions from you because his biggest fear would be being judged by someone he loves

It would take a lot of time and effort to work through, but Mattheo would be willing to put in the work because he's determined to have the one thing his father never could

[mornwrites]

Hi! Sorry if this is a bit weird but may I please ask for a platonic/ familial Xie Lian and younger sister reader? I’ve only watched the donghua so I’d prefer not to get spoilers for the novels if possible.

Thank you!

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ content - Xie Lian , Reader is from Banyue kingdom , Lowkey made the reader more gender-neutral than female whoops , Reader has no parents , Very subtle undertone of child neglect , No Triggers

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ author's note - thank you so much for the request and don't worry, it wasn't weird at all! i wish there were more fics in TGCF with sibling!reader dynamics. apologies for taking so long to write this out, but i hope it's to your satisfaction. perhaps i can make a part two or write any specific scenario if you have one in mind. :)

Xie Lian met you right after his time in the Banyue kingdom, falsifying his death and then fleeing. He'd begun wandering on his own again during this time and loneliness had slowly begun to nip at him, guilt clawing at him due to how everything had turned out. Being nothing more than a passerby in some miscellaneous village, he'd never planned on taking another kid under his wing.

You had been running through a field after a butterfly, determined to catch it and not paying attention. This led to you stumbling over a napping Xie Lian who was hidden within the tall grass, trying to catch up on some much needed rest. He was startled to say the least, but he was quick to process the situation and help you up, reassuring you that it was okay after your seemingly endless apologies.

From there it didn't take long for you to grow attached to Xie Lian, small and craving some sort of affection that you lacked with an absence of parents. He was equally lonely and in desperate need of someone to take care of to help stave off the negativity brewing within him. You left the village with him later on after a few small protests when he tried to decline, saying that you'd be better off in the place you didn't consider a home.

Anything and everything you wanted to learn was readily available. Xie Lian was happy to teach you how to read and write, encouraging you to discover the world around you. He'd ensure you would had everything you needed whether it be ink and a quill or some scroll with a story to be told. Money was never flowing very easily from his pockets, but he did just about anything he could to make sure you were fed at the end of the day.

Despite the times in which this takes place, Xie Lian thought it was important for you to be capable of self defense in case anything happened while he wasn't with you. This led to you learning the basics of sword wielding and martial arts, a force to be reckoned with regardless of the assumptions many would make about women during that time period. He definitely would do his best to make sure you didn't overwork yourself if you trained tirelessly, trying to emphasize the important of resting.

If you ever want to play with his hair Xie Lian definitely lets you, sitting there as you try a variety of hairstyles that resulted in knots half the time. He could do a simple braid or bun for your hair, but he's practically incapable of doing anything further. Even though he'd been without assistants for several decades now, he still wasn't completely used to doing certain things on his own let alone for other people. This doesn't mean he wouldn't try, though, regardless of the length of your hair.

Xie Lian definitely buys you pretty skirts and other more feminine outfits when you're little, but he'll refrain from doing so if you don't enjoy them later on. He'd definitely put little bows and ribbons in your hair, possibly get you a matching set with a doll he bought for you prior to this. Overall, I think Xie Lian does his best to set a great example for you and help prepare you for life because he knows firsthand how difficult it can be.

[dullgecko]

The Bad Kids pick up some sort of illness while out on their senior year project and have to quarantine in Mordred Manor for a couple of weeks before being allowed back in school.

Riz and Fabian are pretty equally tied for the title of "absolute worst to deal with when ill".

Riz would have been completely fine if he'd just stopped to rest for a day or two, but instead he tries to keep working and makes everything a lot worse and ends up pushing himself into four levels of exhaustion, all while hiding his symptoms. Even once he's recovered a bit from that, he is still so bitey and snappy with everyone, especially if they try to tell him what to do. He hates not being in control of his situation and all of his routines have gone completely out of the window and everything is so unpredictable and he keeps getting woken up by other people coughing and he wants to go home but he's not allowed. Calling Sklonda sometimes helps calm him down enough to accept meds, but even that has a 50/50 success rate at best.

Fabian is so so grumpy about being ill and just wants constant attention. His reaction is definitely made worse by the fact that last time he was this ill was during Leviathan and that is definitely triggering him even if he won't admit it.

Kristen is most complicated to deal with because she never got any vaccines as a kid and her immune system is already a little messed up from bringing herself back to life, so she needs near constant surveillance just to make sure nothing happens.

Adaine is a little miserable (being ill obviously isn't fun) but she's pretty happy to do her own thing and just occasionally asks for refills of tea. She's most often on watch for Kristen.

Lydia and Jawbone went over to Seacaster Manor because they were both pretty high risk for the illness, which left Sandra Lynn to try and deal with 6 quarantining teenagers, so as guilty as Sandra Lynn felt about Adaine not getting to just be a kid she was also really relieved that Adaine was able to deal with Kristen. (When Adaine is next ill, Sandra Lynn makes sure Adaine gets as much attention as she wants, which mostly just involves a lot of hugs).

Gorgug and Fig are somehow mostly asymptomatic and basically just get a couple of weeks off school. Gorgug is a little sad he can't access his workshop but otherwise he's fine. Fig gets so bored being stuck in the house though and is an absolute menace by the end. She wasn't even meant to go on their stupid project - they had just summoned her because they wanted to see her one evening, and now she had to quarantine even though she wasn't ill.

Riz was the wild card in all this because goblins usually dont catch the same illnesses humanoids do. Their biology is different and their body temperature is much lower than humanoids so stuff that can infect his friends won't be able to survive in him. This one actually making him sick means its a dangerous cross-species infection so he really cant go home or his mom will be in danger. That being said, goblins when they get sick will have their body temperature spike to insanely high levels to try and burn the infection out.

He was hiding his initial symptoms (he's not at home and not safe so when he would usually go lie down he just kept pretending to be normal because instincts) and they only realised he was sick too when he straight up started fever halucinating and collapsed (he was arguing with a wall in goblin and looked straight up possessed). Sklonda had to leave his medication in the mailbox so she wouldnt get close because the main pharmacy doesnt stock stuff for goblins.

Riz got way more cranky about the whole situation because they were keeping him in the main room to monitor him when all he wanted was to go find a small enclosed space to curl up and recover or die. Unfortunately for him Sandra Lynn knows where all his hiding spots are and when he sneaks off she drags him out of them hissing and biting (she has big thick gloves that even baxter cant chew through). He'll calm down if deposited next to Fabian, but only after the fighter has recovered enough that he's not coughing constantly. The loud noise hurts his ears.

Fabian recovered pretty fast but he definitely has the 'man flu' version of the illness. He's a half elf theyre generally pretty healthy. Riz was the one mostly looking after him while he was sick-sick because despite being pissy about being in quarentine he still has a soft spot for him. Looking after him mostly meant letting him cuddle because Riz was still nice and cool at that point, the goblin was just sitting there working on their report with Fabian using his lap as a pillow. They didn't think Riz was actually even capable of getting this illness until he passed out, he was just locked in with them just in case, so he wasnt being very careful about not getting sick.

Adaine and Kristen are doing okay in Adaines room. A couple days of rest were all they both needed and Kristen was able to start helping her friends recover. She keeps having to cast greater restoration on Riz to remove exhaustion levels because despite actually wanting to he's not getting deep sleeps because of the noise and not being home.

Fig and gorgug churn out an entire quarentine album. The concert for it is held over a livestream in the spirit of the thing.

[angeart]

My brain keeps going back to the hhau rambles and Grian asking Scar about taking his wings off and just...how incredibly short-sighted that "fix" would be. Because like, even if he lost one/both his wings and lived through it....he'd still have his instincts. He'd still chirp...he'd still wanna be high up in nests but he'd have to climb now. He'd never be able to wrap himself in wings again... depending on when that earring of Scar's might be the last of his feathers... and oh gosh post rescue? The hermits seeing him without wings and all the questions and looks of pity. Some well meaning hermit maybe brings him an elytra which he's never needed before and oh that could cause a spiral

-🎀

oh gosh. oh okay. i see you're bringing angst to my doorstep.

grian definitely wasn't thinking clearly in that moment. he simply reached a point where he can't see any other solution. so much of his anguish is tied to his wings. he's in pain and scared and he desperately wants it to stop.

he's learned to despise his wings. they cause him so much turmoil and everything that was ever good about them—everything he loved—has been meticulously erased. they're not pretty. they are dirty and grimy and itchy. heavy, unwieldy, muscles locked up, clumsy and aching from disuse. they no longer feel like a proper part of him. he's not using them, he's just constantly fighting to tuck them away. to make the world believe they're not there.

well then... wouldn't it be easier? if that was the reality?

to him, it sounds like a long-term solution to an otherwise never-ending problem.

his wings are a beacon, and wouldn't him and scar be so much safer without them? if he didn't have them, there'd be no reason for people to madly hunt him. maybe then they could stop running and catch their breath. maybe then scar wouldn't be in constant danger just from being near him. maybe then the fear lodged into grian's spine and the endless string of triggered panic attacks would finally go away.

yes, he'd still have his instincts. but he's already grounded. he's already not using his wings for any sort of comfort at this point, and flight is not an option. he's craving nests and high places, but that doesn't mean he can get them, wings or no wings, and— he was fine without that on hermitcraft! surely if the pain and fear stop, his instincts will calm down? surely, he can get at least a semblance of control back?

and you need to realise. there was no thought spared to the hermits. at this point, scar and grian have given up and no longer expect or even hope to ever be rescued. in their minds, there's no one coming to save them. there's no home to go back to. it's just this.

it will always be this.

and this is painful, and grian is clawing at ideas of making it better somehow—anyhow—no matter how drastic or gruesome that option might seem.

that all being said... man. that big what if. what if he really lost them? what if, one way or another, he managed to get rid of his wings? what if that happened and he survived?

your point about how scar's earring would be the last of grian's feathers is so heartrending. that'd be so tragic and sad.

and then post-rescue, the hermits would have even more proof of the damage. even more questions, too. even more helplessness as how to help, when the damage done is long since unfixable </3

grian, having to wrangle with having a safe environment to fly again, but having no wings to fly with... especially if that was his own choice. if it was preventable. ouch.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Dating advice

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.6K

SUMMARY | Bucky has had a crush on you since you joined the Avengers, but he isn't sure about how to ask you out since he hasn't been with anyone since the 40s. When he comes to you for dating advice, you help him out, only for this advice to be used on you.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Swearing, RIP bathroom door, implied semi-public sex.

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Read on AO3

''Why don't you just ask her out?'' Nat asks, but he doesn't want to admit he hasn't asked anyone out in over 70 years. ''Why, she's just going to say no, so it would be a waste of my time!'' Bucky said to her, making her eyes roll to the back of her head. ''You're really stupid if you don't see that she likes you too, man. She's head over heels in love with you!'' she sneers at him, but he doesn't want to believe it's true. Well he does, but he can't. He knows he can talk to you about anything and everything, but this was a step too far in his mind. He lets out a little groan before taking his water bottle out of the fridge and heading towards the gym.

''Hi doll!'' he says when he notices you on the treadmill in the gym, leaning casually against it to talk to you for a bit. ''How's your run going?'' he asks, and you turn off your music when you see him. ''Hey Buck, I'm sorry but I didn't hear what you said, my music was still on!'' you say and you lower the speed on the treadmill, your face is already red from your warming up, so you're really glad he can't tell it's because of his sudden presence. ''Oh, it's okay. I asked how your run is going so far,'' he said with a smirk. ''Well, my run is pretty much done, it was good though. Just walking the last few minutes to give me a bit of a cooling down. Are you up for some sparring when I'm done?'' you ask him, and he nods.

The two of you are usually sparring partners in the gym because you always make it fun for one another. You can talk about all sorts of stuff while getting a workout in, so you usually take this time to catch up whenever you don't have much time outside of the gym. ''Alright, you ready to get your ass kicked today, Barnes?'' you tease him a little, and it works every single time. He huffs and says ''You wish,'' which makes you laugh every single time. The butterflies in your stomach go wild when you hear it, and it makes you lose focus for just a second, and he has you tackled and pinned underneath him in no time. Your faces are only a few inches apart from each other, and your mind has to be deceiving you when it looks like he's getting closer.

You quickly push him off of you and scramble away, babbling something about a meeting or a mission, Bucky isn't sure. All you needed to do was get the hell out of there and get in a cold shower to calm yourself down. You were so damn sure he didn't feel the same way, and you didn't want to risk your friendship with him, not after all these years. ''Fuck fuck FUCK!'' you screamed when you were in your shower, stomping the wall with your fists repeatedly. You were being louder than you thought because Steve and Bucky both broke down your door when they heard you and were worried you were being attacked. They tore the bathroom door off its hinges only to find you, naked, under the shower.

'GUYS, WHAT THE FUCK?!'' you shriek out and you try to cover yourself up, and they are both confused why there wasn't a threat. ''GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SHOWER!'' you yelled at them, and they finally saw you, turning bright red and quickly turning away. They mumble some apologies before running out of your room. ''Assholes...'' you mumble while you look at the damage they did to your bathroom door, wondering how you were going to explain this to Tony. You quickly finish your shower and dry off, before slipping into some clothes to go on a warpath to the 2 idiots who ruined your perfectly good door. You grab a pair of sports leggings, one of Bucky's henley's (he left some for you after he realized you love wearing them), and a pair of Vans. You wear your glasses because you can't be bothered with your contacts and storm out the door.

''BARNES, ROGERS, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!'' you yell throughout the Compound and run into Nat. ''What did they do this time?'' she asks with a knowing smirk. ''They ripped my bathroom door off its hinges because they thought I was getting attacked, while I was in the fucking shower...'' you said with a scowl on your face. Natasha couldn't help but laugh so hard she doubled over, and she didn't stop laughing for a while, so you just walked away and continued your search for the 2 super soldiers who were getting ripped into very soon. You turned a corner and they really thought they were fast enough, but you still saw Steve's leg disappear into a conference room.

You walked over there with feather-light steps - hanging out with Bucky and his assassin-like qualities has their pros - and you listen at the door, hearing them talk. ''Man, I still can't believe we did that, and she was naked, too...'' Bucky said, with a deep crimson color on his face. Steve knew damn well how he feels about you, so this reaction didn't surprise him, but he didn't feel good about what happened. ''We need to make it up to her, although I'm not sure I can look at her in the eyes ever again. Not after all this embarrassment...'' Steve said and it made you chuckle a little bit. While you were listening, you softly took the door of the conference room off its hinges. ''So, how does it feel to have your privacy invaded like that?'' you said casually as you put the door against the wall next to the opening you just created.

The pair was completely flabbergasted at what you just did, but mostly impressed about the fact that they didn't hear you when you were swiftly working. ''I... We're sorry, Y/N...'' Steve started, but you weren't interested in listening to either of them. ''No. Right now it's my turn to talk because I'm mad at what you did. I can live with the fact that you busted through my doors, but what I can't let go, is the fact that you didn't leave when I asked you to, but you were openly staring at me. I'm sorry, but that just doesn't sit right with me, and the pair of you made me feel uncomfortable. I am going to tell you right now that I'm not going to file a complaint against you guys, but I would like to have some space from you guys. I'm sorry,'' you say and you're no longer mad, right now it's mainly disappointment that is laced throughout your voice.

~ 2 months later ~

You haven't seen or spoken to Bucky and Steve much in the last two months, and in all honesty, you're missing both of them. You never meant for it to get this far, but they did cross a line you're not comfortable with being crossed. Invading your privacy isn't something you're all that fond of, but you have treated them like this for long enough. ''JARVIS, can you ask Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes to come by my bedroom? Do not let them in without my permission,'' you said to the AI. ''Of course, Agent Y/L/N, and it took less than 10 minutes before you heard a knock on the door. ''Y/N? Can we come in?'' you heard Bucky ask, and it kind of hurts that he didn't use your usual nickname, you missed the way it rolled off his tongue, and how warm and fuzzy it made you feel on the inside. ''Yes, come in,'' you said and the door unlocked before they slowly stepped in.

''You guys can come in now, you have my permission,'' you say with a bit of an annoyed undertone. The moment Bucky saw you he got a flush on his cheeks again, you were wearing your favorite outfit that he thought fit you so well, together with your glasses and a messy bun. It made you look like... well, you. ''Is everything okay, Buck? You look like you've seen a ghost,'' you ask and he suddenly snaps out of his daydream. ''Uh, yeah. Sorry,'' he says sheepishly and sits down on the couch in your room, Steve joining him shortly after. ''Well, there's a reason why I asked you here. I wanted to apologize for everything over the last 2 months, mainly my distance from both of you. Even though it was necessary for me, I still wanted to say I'm sorry,'' you told them, before getting up to give them both a hug. ''You're both forgiven - by me at least, Tony still doesn't like either of you for killing his door -, and I'd like to have my friends back now,'' you say with a grin on your face.

They both get up, and you each hug them, but they're so tall you barely reach their shoulders. ''Doll? Can I ask you something now that we're friends again?'' Bucky asked, and you smacked him in the chest. ''We were always friends, now we're best friends again tho,'' you tell him. ''And of course, you can!'' you say as you sit down next to him on the couch, Steve left your bedroom already. You sit down in a crosslegged position, facing Bucky, so he knows he has your undivided attention. ''I, uh... I have been wanting to ask you for advice... Dating advice to be precise...'' he asked when rubbing a hand along his neck, not sure how to tell you this. ''Oh, what's up?'' you ask, and you immediately think he's wanting to ask someone else out, why else would he ask you for dating advice?

''Well, I- I kind of haven't asked anyone out, since... you know, the 40's...'' he asked, his cheeks and neck turning a deep red color at this confession. ''So, I was hoping you have tips on how to ask someone out in the 21st century?'' he finished and he quickly looked away, the embarrassment becoming too much for him now. ''Well, I can only tell you what I know to be true for myself, so I'm not sure that the advice I give you will work on other girls,'' you say and you shrug your shoulders, turning yourself so you're with your back against the back of the couch. ''I like to be swept off my feet, but not by huge romantic gestures or anything. Sure, I like those too, but I find the small moments, small gifts, simple dates, and good conversation the most important when I'm dating someone,'' you tell him, your cheeks starting to burn now. ''I hope that makes sense...''

He makes a mental note of everything you tell him because he has been planning to finally ask you out for the last 2 months, but he didn't know how to do it. It sucked that he had to give you the feeling he was asking someone else out, but he hoped it would still work. ''Do women still like getting flowers, nowadays? Before a date?'' he asked, wondering if you like them or not. ''Yeah, of course! You can never go wrong with a bouquet in my opinion!'' you tell him with a smile, but a little sadness and disappointment is showing in your eyes. ''Okay, thank you so much doll,'' Bucky said before leaving, he was going to ask Steve to help him with everything you just told him, he wanted it to be perfect.

~ 3 weeks later ~

It has been three weeks since Bucky asked you for dating advice, and you're kind of wondering if it worked, even though you didn't want to get your heart broken if it did, and you'd find out he's seeing some girl now. Just when you were getting ready to shower, when your phone went off from the text you received.

Bucky: Hi doll, can you meet me on the roof tonight? I have to tell you something important. Around 9?

Y/N: Hey! Yeah, of course. Want me to bring snacks and beer?

Bucky: Sounds good. See you then!

Your mind was going a thousand miles a minute, wondering about everything he could want to tell you. The thing you're most afraid of is that he will tell you he's seeing someone else, and you're too late with confessing your feelings, which you were planning on doing soon actually. For now, you just wanted to shower and empty your brain from all thoughts, so you took an extra long one this time. You reflected on the last mission you went on and already thought about the next one coming up, and before you knew it nearly 45 minutes had passed. You got out of the shower and dried off, not bothering to put on any clothes besides your favorite set of light blue lingerie, it made you feel confident and you could use all the confidence you can get at this point.

When it was always time to go, you threw on a casual outfit together with your glasses, especially since Bucky accidentally let it slip a while back that he likes to see you with your glasses on. In all honesty, it did save you the hassle of putting your contacts in, and that is always a plus. Your hair was loose around your shoulders, finishing the look. When it is 8:50 you grabbed some of your favorite snacks and a six-pack of beer out of the fridge before walking to the elevator up to the roof. When you stepped out of the elevator you saw Bucky looking over the skyline, and the roof was decorated with fairy lights, a picnic blanket, and some soft pillows on the floor, and you saw some champagne glasses and a bottle of champagne in a cooler.

''Bucky...'' you say softly with a gasp when you see it, almost dropping the snacks when your hand goes to your mouth out of surprise. ''Hi doll,'' he said as he turned around, also wearing a casual outfit that fit him so well in all the right places, his hair in a half bun this time. He walked over to you, grabbing the beer and snacks and putting them down, before grabbing your hand and gently guiding you to the blanket and sitting you down. When you went to sit down you realized he had also gotten you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, finishing it all off for you. This is when the lightbulb in your head went off, he asked you for dating advice, so he could use it on you to create the perfect date. ''I-,'' is all he got out before you softly grabbed his face and placed a kiss on his lips, molding your lips to his with ease.

''I love you, Bucky, I have for as long as I can remember, and I'm so grateful you did all this for me...'' you say when you let him go, his eyes still closed and his cheeks feel warm under your hands because he got a flush down his neck and chest. ''I love you too, doll,'' he said before he kissed you too. ''Have been wanting to say that forever, and the 2 months I barely talked to you were killing me...'' he told you. You shifted and he grabbed you around your waist, softly guiding you to straddle his lap when he wraps his vibranium arm around your waist, his flesh hand cupping your cheek. ''Will you be my girlfriend?'' he asks and you nod enthusiastically. ''Yes Bucky, of course!'' you say, and he seals it with a kiss. The rest of the evening the two of you spent having a long make-out session, before making love under the stars until the sun rises again.

[angelic-dew]

yandere kokushibo headcannons !

✧༉‧₊˚୨ 📎 ୧・author's note; ooooo~ I haven't made a banner in so long- I hope this came out decent lol

✧༉‧₊˚୨ 👁 ୧・request :: " Hiiii :) Idk if you take requests for this fandom but please do either Kokushibo or Inosuke yan hcs please! btw love your work <33 "

✧༉‧₊˚୨ 🍙 ୧・pairing; Yandere ! Kokushibo x G/N reader ( with you/your pronouns.)

✧༉‧₊˚୨✖୧・trigger warnings; yandere behavior (obviously), possessive nature, stalking, kidnapping, mentions of human flesh/organs, cannibalism, murderous tendencies and motives, delusions, eye puns, jealousy, small mentions of sexual intercourse but not detailed, grammatical errors and descriptions of gore. if you are sensitive towards this content, please dni for it will be mentioned.

⚝. Just a reminder I don't tolerate nor do I encourage the following topics in reality; I like keeping it strictly to fiction.

ॄ⿻🍙 | Oh my, this was certainly a new feeling, wasn't it? it's been centuries since he's ever felt this way; so passionate, so needy, his eyes filled with pure desire and want for his precious angel. In fact, he recalls never ever feeling this sort of emotion even in his human life, he has never felt this way; surely, this feeling he was getting had a reasonable answer, right?

ॄ⿻👁 | Whenever he saw you passing by from within the shadows, the heat suddenly rises to his face and creates such an adorable, faint yet visible blush to the naked eye which tints his pale cheeks rather nicely. It could've just been particularly hot out! that's the explanation. Or maybe how his heart tends to skip a beat every now and then, maybe even getting a playful swarm of butterflies to cheerfully waltz around in his stomach each time he catches a mere glimpse of your angelic, seraphic smile. He didn't know what to make of himself in those moments indeed. It was probably due to the fact he hasn't been feasting enough! That's a reasonable explanation.

ॄ⿻🍙 | Still! the demon could not bring himself to come to reasonable terms with all of this pandemonium brewing within him. The eccentric, yet painstaking feeling of utter lust coursing through his veins at each passing moment of each passing day. It was beyond repulsive towards him, disgusting, terrible. However, as much as he attempted to fight the urge within he was weak. Pitiful. Even deficient in his trials to forget about you. You were a necessary staple in his life.

ॄ⿻👁 | He needed more of you! just a small glance was worth a hundred years off his immortality and so it would be worth it. Just to see your majestic, soft locks of hair gently sway in the wind as your nose crinkled up like paper from your adorable, genuine smile; it was truly, a sight for sore eyes and indeed a sight that should only be put on display for him and for him only.

ॄ⿻🍙 | He would stalk you, if it wasn't obvious by now, always keeping a close but distant eye(s) away from you during the periods when the luminescent moon would shine the brightest in the ebony, galactic ether. Watching your motionless body rest ever so peacefully, observing your physique for all your features. Your curves to your smallest noticeable features. Even counting your breathing patterns by the second as you lay there, unaware but peaceful.

ॄ⿻👁 | Heavenly, was the only word to describe your appearance to Kokushibo. Your looks were unmatched by another, everything about you was absolutely divine and exquisite. Your skin was so perfect, your hair was always the most gorgeous sight to intake, your soft locks always complimented your body nicely; your eyes as well, they were truly breath-taking. You were just an angel sent from heaven, for him.

ॄ⿻🍙 | Kokushibo would also take it upon himself to gain entail on your interests, hobbies and routine, but of course, in doing that, there will always be an obstacle to overcome. The worst part per se. There's always those disgusting, foul humans that try to talk and get close to his angel, do they even know they're infecting you with their filthy nature? Those mortals didn't even know the upper rank 1 placed his eyes on you first, his precious, and he won't let anything be a problem when it comes to you. He can't afford for it to happen.

ॄ⿻👁 | Although Kokushibo looks solemn through it all, his blood is at boiling levels your mind would not be able to comprehend. If looks could kill, daggers would be piercing those repulsive creatures left, right and centre by now. However, he must refrain from taking action at that point in time, patience is key. Especially in daylight where he watches from the shadows, it makes him feel tedious when he sees those interactions between his angel and those pesky parasites.

ॄ⿻🍙 | So for inraging the upper moon 1, he takes matters into his own hands and prepares a full night of torture for his most unfortunate victims who cross paths with you. He loves to use his bare nails to ever so slowly create gashes within the poor human's flesh before tearing a limb off clean from its socket. Kokushibo absolutely adores the screams and cries of pure agony they make from the immense torture but that's only the beginning, for the fortunate victims.

ॄ⿻👁 | I do like to imagine he has performed a 'surgery' on one of his most pestilent 'patients' who flirted with you that faithful day. It was rather fun and such a bloody sight! Sharp, quick tears of human flesh being split open under broad, soft moonlight through the thick canopy of trees. Having a marvelous display of the human anatomy, from the muscles to the ribs of the person. It seems as if Kokushibo skinned them alive.

ॄ⿻🍙 | With their muscles being torn open slowly with the assistance of his powerful jaws; revealing the skeletal structure as well as slimy organs pulsing. Only an expressionless look could be found on Kokushibo's face as his mouth is drenched in the blood of his victim's. Finally, to end this suffering once and for all, he caresses the human's heart before gouging it out completely with one tight pull.

ॄ⿻👁 | For days! screams of pain, sorrow and agony emanated from the dense forest. Corpses and mutilated bodies were the only things left behind afterwards. It was the act of a malicious creature indeed.

ॄ⿻🍙 | With time you became paranoid that you'd be next on the hit list since others whom you loved and were with you always vanished, the only last traces of them being their unrecognizable corpse after. How sad. Little did you know, the person who was causing these disappearances was growing tired of having you by yourself. He needed to have you, feel you, touch you, be with you.

ॄ⿻👁 | So thats what he did, after one night of finally holding your limp body fast asleep within his strong arms and which were much dirty from previous matter, he finally had you in his grasp. And it felt amazing! The mass amounts of waves of pure pleasure flooded over him at the simple touch of your bare skin, it was great.

ॄ⿻🍙 | Soon after, you awoke when the sun just peaked over the horizon, confusion looming through the atmosphere. You weren't in your room, you weren't home, you were unfamiliar with everything in this place. Surely, it looked cozy and nice but you were horrified. What could this place be?

ॄ⿻👁 | You did some exploring of the cozy home and found and exit, opening it to only be revealed to upper moon one. And he was touring and big compared to your built. His blank stare was cold and you could feel shivers and cold sweat running down your back gradually. He smiled softly. Your blood ran cold as he spoke up to introduce himself to you, before laying down some ground rules.

ॄ⿻🍙 | You weren't a pet so that was utter crap! no matter how many protests you put up he always was calm and eerily quiet about it. However, that doesn't mean you'd get off scot-free, your punishments were never usually sexual, that was used as a reward; if you were comfortable with it. But they did consist of you being isolated for extended periods of time without food and barely any drink or you were forced to eat cooked flesh from your own kind.

ॄ⿻👁 | He would never hurt you though but don't test him too much, his patience isn't to be taken for granted. Attempt one slick move and a bone will be broken to prevent further instances. Isn't that fair darling? He's only giving you what you wanted; anything you could possibly want from the prettiest clothing to the shinest jewelry to the most delicious food. He can do it all, just love him!

ॄ⿻🍙 | Muzan would probably not care about his newfound obsession. For the most part, he'd encourage Kokshibo to be with you, only feeding into his tendencies; as long as it does not disturb his work. So, there's really no happy end, for you, however, he does have a different story to tell. Maybe you'll love him, cherish him like how he does with you. Show him the affection that he's always dreamed of! Be his. He'd do anything to protect his angel.

ॄ⿻👁 | And for the record, there are all six eyes on you, I suggest you don't plan on anything foolish.

© angelic-dew, please don't reclaim or translate without permission <3

[shrimplymoray]

For @/s1mp-4-th3-m3nt4lly-ins4n3!

Creepypastas with an S/O who does Self Harm

Feat. Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack, Ticci Toby, Jason the Toymaker and X Virus

TW: self harm, blood, blades

Jeff the Killer

Jeff is quite used at seeing people who do that sort of stuff, having caught some of his targets like that on some stalking missions, but seeing you do it? It pains him, in a way nothing else can, not even Jane or Slenderman.

Normally, due to his schedule of work being nocturnal rather than during day, he will not catch you doing it, but that doesn't mean he will not do his absolute best to make you feel deserving of love.

He usually picks you up in his arms and spin you two around until you fall on the bed. He then will cuddle you, saying how gorgeous/handsome you are, how much he is happy to have you in his life, how you are his world, and some cheesy stuff in the middle to get a laugh out of you

Eyeless Jack EJ

Jack gets sad when he finds you did it, but as the place non oficial therapist, he will hear you and be there for you. Most times he doesn't know what to say or do, but he thinks listening helps at least a bit.

When he catches you doing it though, he will get quite a reaction. His smell sense is really strong, and the smell of blood in your room, your blood, makes he feel guilty of not being there for you. But he gets to you, talk as much as he usually does as a shy and reclusive guy, patches you up and makes sure to get his mask off the way so he can kiss you scars

That is something he often does to show affection. He kisses your scars. No matter the history behind them, they are a part of you. You and only you is what he loves, what makes him feel human again, so he won't trade you for the world, with scars and everything.

Ticci Toby

Not gonna lie, he used to do that too. He knows the feeling of it. The pain, the cries as an aftermath and everything. He knows it. So that's why it pains him extremely seeing you do that, or just knowing.

Not that he blames you, Toby is the last one to blame you for anything. It's just unreal to him that you would consider hurt yourself, because he sees you as perfection.

When he found you doing it, he actually panicked, and you panicked, and then you two were both panicking. Not a good start. But when he got his grip in reality again he will just pick you up in bridal style, put you on your bed and after bandaging you, he will pamper the ever loving fuck out of you.

He knows in his heart that if he ever got a blade again in a bad state, he would be like that, and he also knows that you would do the same for him.

Jason the ToyMaker

Jason, after some centuries, lost quite a lot of his humanity. He gets manners and all that jazz, but he doesn't understand the concept of relieving pain. He even apologized for asking it, but he needed to understand.

But as soon as the gears in his brain clicked as to why you were doing it, oh boy.

He would constantly ask if you were alright, if there wasn't anything stressing you, if he could do something for you, maybe grab you your favorite snack, anything really. He is already a quite suffocating man, but he went completely bonkers.

When he found you doing it still, he bandaged you and hugged you tightly. He felt a lot of emotions all at once. He didn't want to lose you. So he asked what triggered it, and by God if you say the name of anyone he will get a way of killing them. He does anything for you.

After a while, he will not be as suffocating, but still be very much a careful man with his emotions around you, and will continue to pamper you in his way, by acts of service and trying to talk it out of you.

X Virus (Cody)

Cody is complicated, really. He normally doesn't see other humans as equal to him, he has quite a complexity to his brain. But he sees you differently as anyone else. His love and devotion for you go beyond whatever is expected out of him and his cold and gruesome ways.

When he finds out about you self harm scars, he questions where you got them. Then why. He doesn't grasp why things that others say affect you as much as they do, but he utterly respects you.

But the moment he catches you doing them, that's when things get difficult. Like Toby, his first reaction is panic and patch you up, but after that he immediately goes to ask EJ for help. He doesn't know what he should do, and he is shaken by seeing your blood. He didn't like it, which is different than his normal reaction to anyone's blood.

EJ will help him help you, as a sort of counselor to Cody. Cody will do his best with you, and when you fall asleep, he will go to EJ, which will tell him what to do or to say to you

[citronverveine]

xie lian: cultivation and emotional repression -> delayed trauma reaction

cw non-descriptive talk about self-harm for the first few paragraphs (really nothing graphic, just mentions)

i was thinking about whether xie lian would self-harm or not in canonverse (he does harm himself in many ways but i was thinking of our contemporary trend of self-harming through cutting) and i thought he probably wouldn't since it probably wouldn't fit in the path he follows.

I think what reminded me of this was the funny subtitle in the new episode (S2 E01) "I can't drink too much or I'll go crazy" (something like that). the phrasing is funny so i remembered it. We tend to focus a lot on the sexual abstainance of his path, but his path is generally about avoiding vices and keeping his heart and mind still as a lake. or something. promiscuity and alcohol are forbidden, but so are other drugs, so is gambling, and i wouldn't be surprised if harming himself on purpose was forbidden too.

of course, xie lian repeatedly harms himself on purpose, quite a lot and quite deeply, but he always somewhat has an excuse, it's never simply gratuitous. there's always a reason: he stabs himself to escape the land of the tender, he almost swallows a sword when trying to catch the fetus spirit, he's hurt by eming when he jumps between lqq and hua cheng, there are probably other examples we could find, but it's never simply because he wants the pain.

so anyway. i came to the conclusion that harming himself on purpose probably counted as a not very in touch with his cultivation, and from then on wondered about his overall mental health. the thing about xie lian is that he is constantly detached from his... past slash emotions. he rationally knows things but he keeps them at a distance (there is a lot to be said about this and his relationship with hua cheng, from start to finish, but i'll keep this for another time).

I was thinking about how his cultivation most likely played a role in that. to be honest, it's not a bad thing at all, because going through the things he went through (even besides/after book 4), anyone else would have gone insane. but he didn't.

i always wondered about why exactly xie lian didn't give up on his cultivation rules while in banishment. because he wasn't cultivating anymore. he could have stopped following the rules. but he didn't. i always found that very interesting. i came up with several possible reasons, but i could add a new one to the list: maybe it was something that helped him not go insane.

he did not actively cultivate, but following the rules and doing his best to keep his spirit pure might have "helped" him repress the... well, the trauma. it's also a natural reaction, to be honest, but because xie lian cultivates, i think it's interesting to think about how it could have impacted this process.

Anyway. So to sum it up, I wondered about whether Xie Lian could self-harm or not, came with the conclusion that he couldn't and that cultivation also led to emotional repression (to keep a pure mind), and now, my final point:

What if the moment Xie Lian breaks his cultivation is also the moment he starts feeling all of his repressed emotions?

something very common in traumatized people is that they start feeling the effects of trauma or realizing the extent of their trauma once they are out of the situation. i always thought this would be the case with xie lian - once hua cheng is back, all is back to normal, he can live a happy life, and boom, the weight of everything that has ever happened to him gets in the way (and they sort it out, of course), but I never knew what would be the exact trigger, when it could start exactly.

now that i made the link between cultivation and repression, i definitely think it would be interesting to see Xie Lian break his cultivation, have sex with Hua Cheng, maybe marking the beginning of their married life, and then from then on, as he lets go gradually, he starts feeling the mental effects. I thought he could even think it was a bad idea, get worried about the effect of breaking his cultivation, wondering what is happening to him. they would research and eventually realize - maybe as Xie Lian processes it a bit more - that it's just a natural reaction.

i think that's all i wanted to say! this was quite long but i thought it was interesting. let me know your thoughts on this, whether you agree or not. disclaimer that I'm not chinese and do not know enough about chinese culture/philosophy to really know if this interpretation is really correct (mostly the talk about cultivation) (although it is undeniable that xie lian's cultivation in tgcf has EffectsTM on him) (maybe that will be for another post)

[v3nusxsky]

Those dresses 18+

*Authors note~ I'm loving writing and interacting with you all. It brings me so much joy. And I must say some of my regular requesters are honestly making my day by coming back. I'm glad I can create something so special for you*

Trigger warnings~ mommy kink, dom Larissa sub r degrading praise strap oral

Prompt~ Hi im back with a request g i was thinking 16 (Quiet love, you don't want everyone to hear) and 82 (Please don't make me answer that) sound good! I dont know if they go together or better apart, thats up to you Imk what u think xX~ requested by my darling idkaname666666 on wattpad

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You had been crushing on the headmistress of Nevermore ever since you had gained your position here. Maybe it was her goddess like appearance, maybe it was her sexy British accent or maybe it was just everything all in one. Yet you had never found the words or confidence to tell her. The students loved your classes and anytime you were asked to go into her office she was always kind and supportive of your work. She noted your shy nature and the way you wouldn't hold eye contact with her for too long. She would make an effort to extend kind smiles your way in an hope to make you feel more comfortable around her. To Larissa your reactions were consistent with someone being uncomfortable in her presence. She didn't believe that you could possibly be interested in her in any other kind of capacity.

This behaviour had been going on for a while now and honestly every time you two were alone in a room together it was painfully obvious that it wasn't going to change. And that is why Larissa promised herself the next time an opportunity should arise she would try to sort out whatever was making you so uncomfortable around her, yet with other staff members you were perfectly okay. You would often have a laugh and little jokes with other staff members, in fact you seemed to be quite close with Marilyn. That's why it was no surprise when she had managed to over hear Marilyn teasing you. You had become distracted from the conversation when you caught sight of the headmistress in her new form fitting dress, the colour highlighting her beautiful features. A blush had covered your cheeks instantly, Marilyn taking the chance to tease you.

"When are you going to tell her y/n? You can't keep blushing like a school girl every time you catch a glimpse of the women, she's going to thing your shy or something" her tone was light and teasing but she held valid points. You wanted to tell Larissa your feelings but the fear of rejection was high. When your phone alerted you with a notification you were shocked to see an email from the one and only women who held your heart, requesting your presence in her office immediately. You groaned and Marilyn couldn't help but laugh, hugging you and whispering words of encouragement watching as you made your way to the office.

You knocked twice and her voice rang out giving you permission to enter. You did so and closed the door quietly jumping slightly when her voice rang out through the office telling you to lock the door. You did so and anxiously came to sit in front of her desk. Your hands clasped to gather showing your anxious state. You were avoiding her gaze knowing if you looked up you'd catch sight of that new dress and you wouldn't be able to keep your thoughts pure.

"Y/n? Have I done something to make you uncomfortable darling? I see how you are with others, and how different you are with me. The last thing I would want is for you to be uncomfortable darling" she murmured. Your brain was processing what the women had said, uncomfortable? You weren't uncomfortable, you just wished to be with her in more than a professional way. "It's uh, you don't, I'm not uncomfortable but um I" you stuttered and stumbled over your words. This was harder than you could've ever imagined. The smirk and glint in Larissa's eyes told you that she finally understood what was going on with you. "Darling what is it then?" She all but purred at you.

"Please don't make me answer that" you whimpered out glancing up at the women through your eyelashes. Really you weren't in much of a position to demand anything so you settled for pleading with her. Only to be met with a chuckle, "I thought you wanted to be my good little whore?" Which caused a Scarlett red blush to spread across your cheeks. "It's um the dresses. So attractive and you in general are just woah and it makes me nervous because you're a literal goddess" you mumbled keeping your gaze on the floor.

She chuckled at you silently questioning how she had missed out on what was clearly signs of interest. "Darling come here" she demanded and you were instantly on your feet complying with her demand. "Darling, can I make you feel good?" She murmured with a finger under your chin so you couldn't avoid her gaze. "Please" you whimpered out and that was all the confirmation she needed to bark another command at you, "Strip and knell then my darling"

You sunk to your knees instantly whimpering at the sight of her panty clad core underneath her dress. "Does my dirty girl want to make mommy feel good" she hummed out watching your eyes darken at the words. You couldn't help but whimper and plead with Larissa to let you please her. With a smirk she lifted her hips allowing you to remove her underwear and lift her dress up to sit above her hips. She smirked when your hands faulted at her dress. The dresses seemed to be your weakness and she made a mental note for that later.

You immediately kissed up her exposed thighs making your way to her dripping cunt, adding a nip to the inside of their thigh before soothing it with your tongue. You brought your mouth to where she wanted it causing her to moan out for you. The noises the she made spurring on your movements alongside the taste of her arousal. The finest taste you had ever experienced and you could quite easily see yourself becoming addicted. And when she came for you, we'll it was although the angels above where singing. Her moans music to your ears, you were most definitely addicted. You made sure to lick up every last drop of your reward.

Larissa pulled you upwards into a kiss, tasting herself on your tongue. "Such a good slut for me aren't you darling?" She purred out before bringing her lips to your neck to kiss and suck over the soft skin. A simple moan was all it took to spur the older women into a desire of making you experience pleasure just as she had. She reached a hand into the desk and pulled out a sinfully delicious looking strap on. You let out an involuntary moan at the sight, thoughts rushing through your mind at all the ways she could use the strap with you. "Oh you're such a dirty girl for mommy aren't you? Would you like mommy to fill that needy pussy of yours" she taunted watching as you nodded eagerly.

It was almost instantly that Larissa has settled the strap on her body and had you bent over her desk. "Darling can I?" She mumbled into your ear before nipping at the lobe. Pleas tumbling from your lips were cut off by a loud moan as she entered your aching core. Larissa stilled allowing you to adjust to her size and taunted "quite love, you don't want everyone to hear just what a dirty slut you are for me now do you?" To which you bit your lip hard enough to draw blood before rocking your hips backwards in a silent plea for her to move.

Moans filled Larissa's office as she bottomed out with every snap of her hips, building your path to what would be the most earth shattering orgasm you would ever have. Being quiet had long since flown out of the window as you approached the edge. Your mind clouded by desire and need. With a particularly harsh thrust and her finger snaked it's way to rub circles on your aching bundle of nerves you felt yourself thrown violently over the edge. It was as if the world stopped spinning as you cried out for her. She slowed her thrusts to help you come back from your high, only when your whimpers became that of overstimulation did she slip from your core.

After ridding herself of the strap she sat back in her chair and pulled your exhausted body towards hers. Cradling you in her arms she could see you were on a different planet, your mind fuzzy and empty. "Darling? Are you in there pretty? Can you come back to me my love?" She coed a hand rubbing slow circles over your back. It took you a few try's buy you managed to blink the hazy feeling away with a sleepy smile you murmured "I love you Rissa" before giving into exhaustion.

Word count ~ 1564

[angrycloudloud]

I'm here to destroy your day, you are welcome.

Sad headcanon of Harry and Regulus as seekers.

My headcanon is that Regulus and Harry are good seekers because they come from abusive households. So both of them learned to be hyperaware of their surroundings so they didn't trigger their abusers to attack them.

Regulus probably lived on his tiptoes around Grimmauld Place, trying to not make a sound, always trying to know exactly where were his parents and how to move and behave so neither of them punish him for not being proper (being a child) and it probably got worse once Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. I'm pretty sure Regulus, at first, wasn't even that into Quidditch; probably his parents suggested him to enter the team because Sirius was planning on playing for Gryffindor and they didn't wanted that rebel boy to be more known that their Slytherin proper son. I can imagine that when Regulus tried for the team he didn't went for seeker either, probably keeper or chaser with one of his friends trying to be the seeker. But the snitch got out and his eyes followed it as easy as he could followed Sirius on a dark corridor back home while his brother and him play in silence and he looked at their parents door just to make sure everything was fine, Regulus and the team found quickly that he could easily avoid the bludgers while keep the snitch on sight and that's how he got the seeker position. The only one that wasn't really surprised by the news was Sirius that has seen his little brother track down a button in Sirius' messy room like if it was a gigant rock paint in neon instead of a tiny button.

And we all know that Harry had to be extra careful around Privet Drive to not make the Dursleys targeted him. I'm pretty sure Harry learned how to avoid Dudley's toys flying towards him while he was still trying to properly learn to run. Probably, his school life before Hogwarts wasn't better and he was bullied because his clothes looked old and too big for him or because his glasses, most probably his own cousin was one of his main bullies, and Harry learned how to catch erasers throw at him in class almost as easily as he learned how to fly later in Hogwarts.

So yeah, that's pretty much my headcanon on why those two were "natural good" seekers. Sorry not sorry.

[yanderes-galore]

can i request a concept for my main man dreadwing (transformers prime)?

Sure! I'll try to keep it general. I haven't entirely finished season 2 but I hope I keep things accurate! Sorry for the long wait :) Sorry if this is OOC, I wasn't sure what type of darling to focus on and I don't entirely like the yandere type I picked for him. In the future I may try to focus on one type of darling as I feel he acts different with each one.

Yandere! TF:P! Dreadwing Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Human/Cybertronian or Cybertronian/Cybertronian, Obsession, Violence, Sabotage, Manipulation, Dubious companionship, Attempted murder, Kidnapping, Implied jealousy/Possessive behavior.

Despite technically being allied with Decepticons, Dreadwing is a Cybertronian who is capable of thinking for myself.

He originally came to Earth with the intention of confirming his brother's death.

As a result he sided with Megatron to gain revenge.

I'll try to keep darling as neutral as I can, but I will mention Autobot, Decepticon, and Human Darling differences.

Dreadwing is depicted as an Anti-Hero character.

He works with others yet it's usually to his benefit somehow.

Obviously he'd get along the fastest with a Decepticon darling.

You'd be on the same side and it's just less of a hassle.

Dreadwing is a mech of loyalty, becoming attached to a Decepticon would not brand him some sort of traitor.

A more difficult darling for him to obtain would be a human darling.

Humans are so easy to capture and he'd have to catch/work with you for a reason.

You could have info on Autobots... or you are willing to work with Decepticons in some way.

That or maybe somehow you caught Dreadwing's eye by chance and are not involved with either party. Perhaps you fixed him out of naive kindness, proving you understand his biology somehow.

Those are some examples of how he'd take to a human darling, which also doesn't count as treachery.

Then there's the hardest darling for him to be obsessed with, an Autobot.

A connection to you counts as treachery and the whole obsession would result in an enemies-to-lovers situation.

First he'd try to kill you... then he tries to consider something other than violence between you.

That's the rarest darling for him to have yet it's possible.

Let's talk type of yandere....

Dreadwing is Loyal, Manipulative, Clever, Obsessive, Slightly possessive, Calculating, yet Cruel in his tactics like most Decepticons even if he doesn't fully agree on their agenda.

Dreadwing plans and considers all options in battle and the same can be said about him within his obsession.

He plans how to keep you trusting him and is very tactical in executing plans.

He's very smart with his obsession, be it kidnapping, sabotage, or simply keeping your loyalty.

As a result he can be scary as a yandere, mostly to other people.

Dreadwing, like his loyalty to Megatron, can respect and show loyalty to his darling once his obsession fully settles in his processors.

If you're a Decepticon it's expected.

Although he keeps his loyalty/care about you if you're a human or Autobot as a secret.

Dreadwing may not agree with Megatron's ideals nowadays, but he has to go along with it.

You're important to Dreadwing as his obsession, he holds respect for you and couldn't go against you all the way due to this.

Dreadwing, like most Decepticons, can be manipulative.

Some are better at it than him, yet he knows it just enough to fool his darling at times.

Everything he does during his obsession is carefully planned.

He plans on how to get you alone, how to deal with rivals, and he doesn't mind how much blood or Energon he has to spill to do it.

He's used to being sent as a hitman anyways.

Most of his obsession would be him planning.

If he wants to get rid of someone around you he places bombs with precision.

I'd imagine if he wanted to get an Autobot away from you, or another Decepticon, then he'd set up a plan to lure them and scrap them.

If you have human friends he could get rid of them if he felt they were a threat.

He'd probably ignore them if they weren't.

Dreadwing doesn't really plan out any sort of future with his darling.

He just plans on how to obtain you then goes from there. Although, depending on the darling, he has a general idea of it.

He'd kidnap, it's easier if you're human.

A Decepticon darling, if you trust him, doesn't need to be captured.

With a human he can trap you in his cockpit as a jet.

Autobot darling would require a bit more effort to catch....

More firepower, too.

Dreadwing is cruel due to how he dispatches those close to you.

He uses heavy weaponry and often uses explosives.

He doesn't care too much if you see the chaos he caused happen.

Dreadwing tries to show you care once he has you in his grasp.

With a Decepticon darling he tries to ease you into the idea of being partners.

Him and Skyquake used to be partners, he uses that as an excuse to encourage you to accept his offer.

You'd listen and work with him, a loyal Decepticon, right?

With a human he treats you like a pet.

After all, Decepticons refer to you fleshies as pets at times.

You're small enough to fit on their shoulder and the servos in their hands.

He could carry you everywhere and you couldn't complain.

After all... he knows you'll need him in the end.

He's powerful, he plans well, trust him... no one's coming after you with him here.

With an Autobot darling he'd kidnap you then convince Megatron he'd interrogate you himself instead of Knock Out.

He'll go easy on you since he likes you so much... but he'd never let you go.

Dreadwing isn't the most affectionate mech but he tries to give you comfort.

The most significant thing I can think of for his obsession is the lengths Dreadwing would go to keep you with him.

I'm talking death traps.

Dreadwing is good at outsmarting others.

He shows respect to those who deserve it, yet if someone tries to take you away from him?

Boom.

He doesn't care who they are or if it's treachery or not.

They won't be moving if they try to take you.

Dreadwing doesn't mind offlining those who who disagree with his choice of obsession.

You should only be concerned with him, no one else.

I wouldn't say Dreadwing is a very physically affectionate yandere.

He's more verbal.

Which works for him as he is someone who builds relationships on respect in some way, regardless of side.

He'd tell you he cares for you regardless on the type of attraction and does everything in his power to keep you at least healthy beside him.

Even if you aren't happy with the arrangements.

Overall, Dreadwing can be a menacing and intimidating yandere due to how efficient he is in his craft.

Those trying to seperate him from his darling should watch their step...

It may be their last if they continue to pursue you, Cybertronian or not.

[tommys-little-writing-corner]

Fickle Fate ║ Chapter I: Second Chance

》 They say fate is a fickle mistress, playing cruel tricks with the help of Lady Fortune and Destiny. However, they also said she throws problems on purpose before achieving something great. What could come out of a fire god visiting your uncle with Naruto cosplayers? And what's with the yakuza man? 》 Chapter I: Second Chance 》 General Notes: Gender Neutral!Reader, Teen!Reader, No Romance, Platonic Friendship, Slight Canon Divergence, First Person Writing, Found Family, Canon Violence 》 Chapter Notes: Initially I wrote this with an OC of mine I had, but then it just sorta spiraled into this! Hopefully, everyone can enjoy this as much as I did 》 Trigger Warnings: Brief Mention of Child Abuse, Abusive Parent Mentioned 》 Word Count: 1.2k Words

The crowds surrounding me and my opponent, Liam, were loud.

They egged us on, cheering us on as the fight continued. Neither one was letting up or giving in, swinging punch after punch. Kick after kick. Liam swung with a right kick, but I ducked down, going in to sweep him off his feet, he jumped up in time, but it left him open...

Open for the ultimate combo from my character.

I dared not to take my eyes away from the projection of our battle on Street Fighter 6. We were both in sync with our respective characters-- Luke and Juri -- who responded to the actions that were being inputted in the controllers we held in our sweaty hands. They are a part of us, representing our soul, and our desire to represent our fighting spirits. The desire to fight, our spirit of competitiveness, could never fade.

The world seemed to slow down as if to take a deep breath, going quiet as Luke's fists connected with Juri's body. Color splashed across the screen as each fist, each hit, landed successfully before everything went back to normal.

"AND THE WINNER IS DAMMECAGE!"

I let out a breath I wasn't aware of holding back, wiping the sweat off my brow as I looked at Liam and smiled. He looked defeated before shaking his head, putting the controller down before offering his hand to shake mine.

"I lost to you again," Liam spoke my name before I shook his hand back.

"Hey, there's always next season." I chuckled, pulling him into a one-armed hug before pulling away. The tournament host and his friend walked on over, talking loudly on the mic, praising my skills in the game. But yet, despite this moment of joy... I couldn't really find myself to be happy in this moment.

Just because I won the game didn't mean I won at life-- my life as (Y/N) Carlton was shit. 17 years old and have been living with my uncle, Jonathan Carlton, for the past two years. My home wasn't safe with an absent mom and an abusive dad. His father, my grandfather, wasn't a good dad either, so I guess it just sort of ran in the family. He didn't seem to care if anything happened to me, but once my uncle saw what was going on, he didn't seem to hesitate to help the family out. Uncle Johnny, along with his wife, took me in as my legal guardian, and since then I've just been living life in sunny Malibu, California.

"I'll see you around, Liam! Catch ya later!"

I waved goodbye to my friend, pocketing the trophy in my backpack before running out of the arcade. Once I got out the doors, I grabbed my skateboard and took off to ride the streets in style, headphones on to listen to tunes to celebrate my victory. My head bobbed to the beat, lightly tapping my foot as I swerved past people, swinging around a pole to go right before I continued on heading home. Today felt like it was a good day so far, and surely nothing could go wrong, right?

Well, 30 minutes of skating home proved otherwise...

I wasn't standing anywhere near the driveway before I heard arguing through my headphones. I pulled them off, raising a brow in curiosity before frowning. It made me grimace at what could be going on in there... and neither did I enjoy the sound of arguments. The sounds brought me back to my old home and I did not want to think about that.

"-ou alright?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped, almost slipping off my skateboard before steadying myself to see who it was. An Asian man with short, dark hair in an off-grey and red suit and... is that a sword on him? Does he have tattoos on his hands? Why does he have tattoos? Is he a member of the Yakuza or something? Or are they just nice tattoos?

"Um, uh, yeah, I'm good..." I nodded, hopping off my skateboard before picking it up. "I just don't do arguments, I don't know what they could be arguing about." I walked on the pathway to the large mansion with the businessman walking a few steps behind me. Curiosity itched me and I couldn't help but ask, "You here to see my uncle?"

"Um... yes, yes I am." He answered, almost sounding hesitant for a second. Was he scared or something?

"I get it, my uncle can be--"

I heard the door slam open before it slammed close, Aunt Cris looked furious with her bag and keys in hand before getting into her car and driving off, leaving me in awkward silence with a stranger. The air felt awkward before I cleared my throat, looking at the man before I continued speaking, "My uncle is an interesting person, as you may know. A little... egotistical, but he means well, honestly. I didn't get your name," I offered my hand to him and he looked, questioning his decision, before shaking it.

"Takahashi Kenshi."

"Oh, Takahashi? That's Japanese if I remember correctly... You do stuntwork in movies?"

"I do." Kenshi seemed to answer rather quickly, standing by the door before I opened it and let him in. At the time, I didn't think much about it, closing the door quietly as I could.

"Living room's down that hall, that's where my uncle will be. I'm just... uh, gonna go eat in the kitchen." I gave an awkward smile before I let out a sigh, shoulders dropping as I put my skateboard down to the side before making my way to the kitchen, dropping my bag to the floor before raiding the fridge to reheat day-old pizza and open a can of my favorite drink. It took a while for the pizza to reheat, allowing me time to scroll on my phone on social media.

You know what's really weird? Finding thirst edits of your own uncle... kinda gross. I mean, I can admire their editing skills. But if I had to hear "International Love" one more time, I was going to lose it. The microwave then beeped loudly, snapping me out of further doomscrolling to allow me to eat the pizza while it was still hot on the plate.

"God, I love whoever invented pizza," I muttered to myself, not hearing the brief sound of something crashing when I took a sip of my drink. I figured it was either whatever went down with my uncle it was another one of his "bright ideas" or sudden acting improvision. I didn't think too much of it before hearing the doorbell ring, but that wasn't for me to deal with. I just wanted to relax a little, enjoy intimacy in the form of a good slice of pizza, and read fanfiction. Who doesn't read those? Kinda a guilty pleasure of mine, really. Especially a good rivals to lovers--

CRASH!

A loud crash scared me, making me jump and setting my heart at a fast pace. I put the can down, hand shaking a little as I took deep breaths, calming myself down.

"I'm no longer there... I'm no longer there... I'm no longer home... This is my home now..." I repeated to myself quietly before shuffling to check out the scene. My heart was still racing as I peeked around the corner. While I intially looked fearful about the situation morphed into confusion at what I saw before me, and I had only one thing to say.

"What in the actual fuck..."

TO BE KONTINUED...

[consoledacup]

Thoughts on 6x01, part 2

Okay, first of all, Mac is my new favorite character. I cheered at his last line. Totally missed the sleepover scene at first because I was celebrating. I'm so excited for Jordan's football conflict this season. Welcome, Mac!

Jordan's telling himself he doesn't want the attention Spencer is getting partly because he doesn't think it'll happen to him. So how is he going to feel when he actually does get the attention?? Loved how he named his jealousy and immediately supported Spencer after. I'm looking forward to what their dynamic holds this season.

Layla's arc is not going to be so clear cut. That was evident in the premiere. She's in for a rough, rough time. So here's my take on what's happening and how that's affecting the people around her/their responses.

She's acting herself in that lil scene with Patience, Spencer, and Coop. And then when the news announcement comes on, she's triggered. And every scene with her following, we see how differently she acts, depending on the situation. All of her lounge scenes has her incredibly on edge. Incredibly. That's why Ryan takes notice. And if out of her mouth is bodyguards this and Patience that, then it's not a hard conclusion to draw. Patience and Coop don't notice this because Coop is also focused on Patience, and Patience is convincing herself she's fine.

Jordan told Spencer he was meeting up with Layla for wedding planning, and who knows how she acted with him if they did actually meet up. They weren't talking about Patience, so she could've acted more or like her normal self. And if anything felt amiss, maybe Jordan would've attributed it to nerves about the opening.

Then Jordan sees Layla chew Ryan out and is immediately concerned. And to his credit, Ryan fills him in and asks Jordan for any more insight. From that point, Jordan's on Layla watch. And from that moment, Layla's sidestepping him.

We have Layla completely freaked out by Olivia's arrival. She is not okay!! And the way she hugs her from sheer relief is just so sweet but also really heartbreaking. Olivia is someone that's always made her feel safe, and she just keeps saying "you're finally home."

In their conversation, she's acting normally and listening to Olivia and filling her in about what she's missed. But again, any time Patience is brought up, it's hard for Layla to get the words out. Olivia's just so jittery to be back and happy to be with Layla, she misses it.

So you have Jordan coming in and checking in on her. But Olivia's there, and Layla uses their reunion as an escape. And that catch-up conversation with the twins makes more sense because Jordan's convincing himself about Layla and about football and the whole time confirming to Liv that yes, he's happy and things are good.

And because the concern came from Ryan, Jordan doesn't want to admit it's true. That's what he tells Spencer later on. Like, Ryan has to be wrong. For a plethora of reasons, Jordan wants Ryan to be wrong. It would ruin her big night if he asked her about it. He also still hasn't had an opportunity to talk to her.

To me, I don't think Jordan missed anything. I think he was hesitant to confront her and really wanted to believe she was okay and wanted to feel secure that she'd tell him if something was wrong.

And she would. They tell each other everything. The problem is she was lying to herself. She told Jordan as much when they finally get a moment alone. She named what triggered her and shared exactly what she was feeling. She didn't lie to him or keep anything else from him.

She didn't let him hold her. While that probably hurt him, he didn't let it phase his support. She just wasn't in any sort of headspace to hear his words. So he takes another angle and fills Patience in on everything. And Layla's not mad at him for doing that because she knows how much he cares about and loves her.

And then we have this gorgeous 4x01 parallel, but instead of the Baker twins and Layla, it's the entire Vortex. It was such a lovely ending moment. And of course, jordayla is right at home in each others' arms.

Yes, things are unresolved. We are going to encounter quite a bit of beautiful angst probably. But their love for each other hasn't changed. And personally, that's all I need to know.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

your reblog reminds me!! i read your fic about betterment jeremy and didn't leave a comment cuz i don't have a proper ao3 acc and i forgor! and!! i realised that i didn't read the last chapter so i reread the whole fic in full so i can properly gush about it in your inbox right now!! so behold. semi coherent thoughts about your beloved creation.

chapter one! i like the way the story begins so close to canon in shape and mood, set pretty much right after the epilogue but how you expand further and further from it in shape and form that canon in its media restriction cannot show.

in the first two chapters you see the story through jenny's eyes, you really get to sympathise with her feelings - the longing for normality, for everything advance has stripped from her. and since she can't get everything back she needs to get her friend back from them. it's all good intentions, really. jenny just wants to help him. she just wants him to heal. but she is running out of patience (understandably so, but still not proper treatment of someone who's severely traumatized)

as i was rereading chapter 2 and particularly jeremy's breaking point i realised something i haven't quite caught on the first reading. back then i thought he mainly cut himself off so suddenly from the strain and shock of this sudden break in general - the mind catching up with his mouth and nerves at last, the sudden realisation and fear at loss of control and the consequences that may bring. on my second reading, i realised that he specifically cut himself off when it came to his experience at betterment, and with the headache that follows that was more specifically a response to suddenly recalling repressed traumatic memories from betterment. which is even worse.

so, chapter three. i should note, torture and brainwashing in the context described in the fic and as implied in canon is a topic i often find really triggering. i think this is why i didn't read the third chapter when i was reading the fic the first time around - i was worried it was going to get really uncomfortable for me. but i am glad i returned to it, i didn't regret it in the slightest. you struck a good balance for Me Specifically and so i ended up with most thoughts for this chapter

so we get a peek at jeremy's mind and how fractured it is, which is really poignant at this point:

"From then on, Jeremy had always been acutely aware of death. He felt it again the night Disrupt attacked, abducting him, forcing him into hiding. And again, when he snuck his way on set, determined to break the news to the world about-

… about nothing. Nothing that would promote any sort of good in the world. That’s what The Nightly Show was for… Unity, community, sharing the country as a Team. And he nearly ruined all of it, for what? For a few extra seconds in the spotlight? He lost the rights to that when he first lost control of himself."

the breaking point. the before and after. and yet what we see is that he wasn't doing mentally well "before" either. the state of mind that jenny wants him to return to is not a healthy one - something she isn't aware of.

but it gets worse!

the ENDING,,,,, my god the ENDING....... i looooove the ambiguity of it. the underlying dread of possible scenarios this may lead to. i like how ultimately jenny fails (falls, one might say. the third chapter mirrors the song so muchhhh)

it's a very interesting twist on jenny's character and their overall dynamic. i was hoping for a happy ending, i do love my whump, but it's so much better to have the expectations subverted. because of course. of course they both have been hurt and poisoned by the system too much to go back and call it "healing". both of them can't help themselves and they can't help each other. ultimately jenny can't accept jeremy as himself anymore, she doesn't see pre- and post-betterment jeremy as himself anymore. it destroys jenny to see jeremy in such a state and she destroys him in turn.

i might've forgotten something so forgive me if this isn't fully coherent or a bit jagged.

i love your mind.

printing this whole ask out so i can cut it out and put it on the fridge and then take it off the fridge and then eat it and then print out a second one and then cut that one out and then leave it on the fridge this time.

ABJ is the only thing i have left in this stupid baka world and i am SO GLAD that people have been having so much fun with my better jeremy fic. i noticed that there was hardly any content and i wanted to fill the niche, but i had no idea how much positive reception i would get from this simple (i say simple, it's three whole chapters) fic!!! i still do think it's one of my better fics i've ever written and published, just in regards to pacing and nuance.

speaking of nuance, just for you, as a little treat, here are some things that were either invisibly implied in my work, or was stuff that i was going to add that i decided against. just for you. because i'm feeling whimsical and pretentious:

though with time they'll heal, originally i was going to make a point to bring up that jeremy still had a few bruises from his time at betterment. jenny was going to help him take off his shirt- since he was sweating through it- only to see the blemishes, as well as how much weight he's lost. i ended up cutting it for time, but jeremy's canon weight loss is something that's super important to me and it drives me crazy

though it wasn't (originally) intentional during his treatment, betterment found that a good way to control jeremy's thought process was to convince himself that everything bad in his life could be pinned on him. he's a very cynical person, and naturally is picking at the cracks and finding the bad in every silver lining. it's just in his nature. advance found that, if they turned this methodology back onto himself, it makes him way more receptive to external ideas when he feels like he can't trust or listen to himself

this has grown into a bit of a streak of self hatred, which wasn't the intention, but it was utilitarian, so they kind of left it as is. i think my favorite example of this is this quote right here, where he doesn't consider his actions as being a threat to himself despite the fact he was pointing a gun at his own fucking head

when jeremy initially loses his temper in chapter two, you're right to observe that what snaps him back to his bettered self is the thought of his treatment at betterment. but also, i made a point of implying that jenny's reactions also really fucking gutted him.

the two worst memories of his life were during the heatwave, and during his second abduction (any other worst memories surrounding betterment specifically are probably repressed). in both of those instances, one of the most mortifying things was seeing jenny frightened. even when he tried his best to be gentle with her during the heatwave hostage situation... he hurt her. scared her. he never let himself live that down. and scaring her again ricochets him back to that moment with such a painful clarity that it knocks the wind straight out of him.

if i had written this after i had gotten the inevitable advancements ending, i for sure would have found a way to rewrite the ending of the nightly show portion so that jeremy sings the national anthem. i also definitely think listening to it was a part of his advance exposure therapy. he knows the words by heart.

speaking of his time at betterment, jeremy spent a lot of time just. on his own, i feel like... not around other people, not being enriched in any meaningful way... when deprived of any sort of enrichment, he's more susceptible to any little scraps he can get his hands on, even if its propaganda. this is another reason why he's so infatuated with the tv, i think. it's popcorn entertainment, sure, but it's also a little luxury for him... and now he can have it whenever he wants...

[blackjackkent]

For the lyric prompt: "I might walk home alone/But my faith in love is still devout" or "See, I’ve already waited too long/And now my hope is gone" for Matty/Ash? (If you feel like it. XD)

Yay, thank you for the prompt! (Wild to be doing Mass Effect writing again after so long. c: )

"See, I’ve already waited too long... And now my hope is gone..."

-----

Ash sits in one of the waiting areas of Gagarin Station's makeshift field hospital and tries not to fidget too much. Military discipline feels very far away when the only activity available is watching the orderlies slowly bring in the wounded from the battle on Earth. There's a muted scent of blood to the air that has lingered for days, but that's not the real reason for the sick feeling in her stomach.

They all sort of hoped, when the Normandy limped back to Gagarin - after the Crucible fired, after the chaotic crash into the jungle and the frantic field repairs to get them spaceborne again - that they would find Matty alive and waiting for them. Joker made a few comments about it, here and there - "He's fine, right? He was alive to pull the trigger. No way the old man would let a little knock like that take him out." Even Ash caught herself hoping, now and then - daring to believe that after everything, there could be a happy ending.

But of course, they all knew the truth, deep down.

According to Hackett, the last contact with Matty was aboard the Citadel, just before the Crucible went off. "He sounded bad," the Admiral had said grimly. "Weak as hell. Started mumbling stuff that didn't make sense, right before the signal cut out. I almost tried to send a few fighters in after him, and then the whole thing blew out. And, well, you saw the rest."

"Yes, sir," Ash had answered tonelessly. She remembered that rolling tide of red light chasing them through the relay and the brutal knowledge that they had to run, had to leave him behind. "Thank you, sir."

So why is she here, watching the endless parade of dead and wounded?

Hope is a funny thing. The thing with feathers/that perches in the soul... She held onto hers for quite a long time, but it has gone silent now, in spite of Emily Dickinson's assurances. She's just here, watching, waiting - perhaps to remind herself that even though Matty is gone, others survived the cataclysm and will be able to see this strange new world on the other side of the war...

Her breath catches in her throat and she hunches over in her seat. As that thought passed through her mind it suddenly became real in a whole new way. Matthias Shepard is dead, the news reports will say, and there will be memorials and celebrations of his bravery, the soldier that led the charge for the galaxy's freedom and died for it. But Matty is gone -- that is the truth that she has to carry in her heart, and grieve alone for the man that so few got to see.

The man with soft brown eyes staring over the top of a book at her when she thought he wasn't looking. The man who excitedly told her about the discussions he'd had with scientists about his ideas for biotech and prosthetics. The man who gifted her poetry and wrote his own scribbled on the margins of old reports. The man who cried out in his sleep, his body locked tense and rigid as he walked in restless dreams. The man she loved...

As once I wept, if I could weep, My tears might well be shed, To think I was not near to keep One vigil o'er thy bed; To gaze, how fondly! on thy face, To fold thee in a faint embrace, Uphold thy drooping head; And show that love, however vain, Nor thou nor I can feel again.

"Byron," she can almost hear him say. "I do love that hidden romantic streak you have..." And he'd grin and lounge back in his chair and recite the rest of the poem for her, out of that prodigious memory...

Her stomach hurts with the effort it takes not to sob. She grips the arms of the chair, white-knuckling her way through the sudden surge of grief. And just when she's begun to get a handle on herself, there's a burst of chaos from the other end of the hallway.

Several of the orderlies and the harried, exhausted-looking doctors are converging near the elevator, all talking at once. In spite of herself, Ash looks up, automatically tracking the increase in activity, picking up on muted snatches of the hubbub of conversation.

"--about eight broken ribs--" "--stopped the hemorrhaging planetside--" "--barely stable--" "--going to need a transfusion--" "--Shepard--"

Her heart seems to stop in her chest. The hope that she thought was gone from her flares to life abruptly, with painful intensity. No, she tells herself. It's not possible. You're just hurting yourself more.

But without realizing it, she's on her feet and moving, clambering over the chairs in the waiting area rather than going around. Her boots hit the decking again and then she's running down the hallway.

One of the doctors looks up, hearing her approach. "Commander Williams," he says briskly, not seeming to register her agitation. "Good. I was going to send for someone from the Normandy, but now there's no need."

She stares at him, gasping like a fish, not quite sure how to form words. "I-- did I hear you right?" she asks blankly. "Someone said Shepard."

The man blinks, and then some of his distraction fades for a moment and he seems to see her face more clearly. "Did no one tell you, Ms. Williams?" he asks. "I suppose not - we've only just learned now ourselves. Commander Shepard was found on Earth two weeks ago. They sent him by fastest transport to us here, but communications have been so spotty the message only got here a few hours ahead of him." He nods towards the elevator. "We're preparing for admittance and triage now."

Her breathing feels like it's not working quite right, each exhale catching in her throat. "He's alive?" she whispers.

"Barely, by the sound of it," the doctor says grimly. "But alive, yes. And we're going to do our best to keep him that way. I'd advise you to stay out of the way when he arrives--"

She's stopped listening, because the elevator has made a soft, somewhat off-key chime and the doors are sliding open...

Four Alliance soldiers in bloody, ragged BDUs are standing inside. Between them they're carrying a makeshift stretcher covered in more blood, and on it is stretched--

"Matty!"

He looks terrible. One of his arms hangs at an odd angle, his clothing is tattered and bloodsoaked and she can see more than one bone poking through torn flesh. But he's breathing; she can see the soft rise and fall of his chest, and at the sound of her voice, his eyes flicker half-open.

"Ash...?" he whispers.

"Commander, clear the way. We need to get him hooked up to a line," the doctor snaps. "And don't agitate him."

She backs up; the reaction to the tone of command is automatic. But she met his eyes, just for a moment, long enough for her to see him within that battered shell, and for him to see her waiting for him. It's enough for now.

Commander Shepard is not dead. Matty is not gone.

That thing with feathers in her soul is alive and well again and shouting its song at the top of its lungs.

[yourwitchybrother]

Icarus and Apollo

This post isn't exactly about Icarus and Apollo, but more about Apollo and myself and a particular story that I have to share from a point in my practice when things got hard. No hard trigger warnings - just vague illusions to SA and S/H. Nothing explicit

During COVID, I was locked indoors, as we all were. So, I turned to my online friends. My partner. And a new friend I had made who ended up being a stalker, an abuser, and a user.

My parents were also going through a rough patch, and one of my siblings was growing more and more problematic in the household and I was confronting trauma that I was put through at the hands of another family member. So, you could say things were intense.

But even with that, I still had to attend classes, care for the family dog, make time to do chores, and do homework, all while dealing with personal turmoil that ate at me the more I didn't address it. And when I did end up addressing a string of events that I faced at the hands of my brother, my family didn't believe me.

All I heard for a while was "why didn't you tell us when it happened," and "he's your brother, so you can't say anything. To anyone" and "what happens in this house stays in this house." A lack of support from my family, and a lack of support from my school. I told my guidance counselor that my parents didn't do anything upon being told about what happened. He didn't do anything despite being a mandated reporter.

I was at my wits end. Everything was pulling me in all sorts of different directions and I was getting closer to the point where I couldn't take it. I almost started harming myself, but didn't, I knew it was impractical in the sense that there was no way my household wouldn't find out about the behaviors.

So I turned to Apollo. I asked Apollo for help. I asked him to help me find comfort, find some way to get through this rut I was stuck in.

And he called me Icarus in a dream. I had flown far too close to the sun, there was so much on my plate and I had to downsize or else I was going to catch fire and burn as I fell, just like Icarus did.

So my partner and I cut off that abusive friend. I fought for my own room in the house so I could feel safer. I sort of fell off when it came to doing school work, I won't lie about that. But I could hardly get the work done, so I wasn't going to push myself. I worked slowly. I relaxed. I took my time. I quit burning the candle at both ends.

And I put more faith in Apollo during this time, too. He let me lean on him. Through one of my darkest and hardest times, he was there. My mom surprised me with a yellow candle from the dollar store and I knew immediately that it was his. It was from him, so I lit it for him. He became my lifeline for a while. And I love him for it.

Somewhere down the line, we became closer, and I decided to godspouse with him. Apollo means everything to me. He's the absolute light of my life. And I know that, on days when the sun beats down on my skin harder than others, it's a sign to slow down. Take a minute. Relax. Even if I'm overthinking it and it isn't a sign, there is nothing wrong with being in the moment and taking some time to breathe.

Even still, as I write this, I'm getting emotional simply thinking about him. Thinking about how much he cares about me, how fond he is of me, and I think, why, of all people, did he choose me to be fond of? And I know that, at some point in the near future, he'll send me a reminder of why, as is our little routine. Lord Apollo is delightful. And I will always, always speak highly of my sunshine. He has never done me wrong, not once.

Remember, even in your lowest moments, your deities are there for you. And they see you. And they care about you and they want to help you, you just need to let them in. Blessed be, and may the sun be your guide. A domani.