#but there was some sort of connection and I’ve never felt anything like it before???????

[max-fewtrell]

.

[myfirstandlast]

going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly

[blkluci]

𝑴𝑯𝑨 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒔 and you fighting…

CHARACTERS )) katsuki bakugo, eijiro kirishima, shoto todoroki, izuku midoriya.

PLOT )) a headcanon of the boys seeing you fight.

A/N )) this purely based off my imagination! lil mina slander, todoroki getting down and overall comedic. feel like i should do a part 2 maybe, yall lemme know how yall feel bout this one :) requests are open and hope yall enjoy.

[ 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 ] bakugo heard you mention that this girl has been talking about you. explaining that she’s said things in the hallways and during canteen time. “stop focusing on stupid extras. it's not worth it.” was his response. when you hadn’t mentioned anything about her, he assumed the whole thing was over; boy was he wrong

… kats walked to your 5th period to escort you down to the cafe for lunch

… as he neared the classroom he heard commotion and saw a group forming in front of the door

… for some reason he had a unsettling feeling in his gut and you instantly popped in his mind

-> “get out the damn way extras!”

… pushing people out the way and threatening them he got into the room

… katsuki’s jaw slacked

… he saw you holding tsunotori poni by her horns while mackin her face in

… every punch connected with her face

… he was truly in shock and impressed

… the poor girl tried her hardest to fight you off but winning to no avail; only able to kick her legs

… the teacher, vlad, yelling for students to get away and breaking up the fight

… katsuki couldn’t help but feel a little proud and attracted to this anger that is always concealed from him

… you remind him of himself

-> “alrigh’, you could let ‘er go. you got ‘er”

… he pulls you away and carries you away in his arms

… vlad held the weak girl in his arms as her nose bled

-> “‘ND DON’T EVER SPEAK ABOUT ME AGAIN!”

… he chuckled

[ 𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 ] kirishima felt the shift in the energy when your fellow classmate, mina, decided to push up her on him KNOWING that’s your man. there’ve been times where she’s done and said things that you had to check her about and she “apologized”. “babe c’mon, don’t feed into it.” she was feeling particularly bold today tho when you checked her at the end of class.

… eijiro didn’t have enough time to react when the desks were shoved out the way and y’all squared up

… you charged at her

… not even giving him time to fully comprehend

… mina thought that she could keep testin you and not get put in place and you did that exactly

… you ate her up!

… dragging her across the floor and knocking her head in

-> “y/n stop!”

… eiji felt adrenaline course through his veins

… fear of you getting hurt, you getting in trouble, mina dying

… eijiro pulled you off of mina but you wouldn’t let her hair go

… you kicked her in her face and she screamed as aizawa and all might rushed to help her

-> “THAT’S WHY YOU KNOTTED!”

… eijiro pulled you out to the hallway

… he was gonna scold you but he could do anything but hold

you as you spilled your anger to him

… he smiles at you and winces when mina passes by being taken to the nurse

-> “ouch, she’s gonna need a little more than just ice”

… he’s gotta fighter on his hands

[ 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 ] todoroki is obviously to most things; if not, everything. the boy doesn’t seem to catch the girls who constantly are gagging over him. “oh, i’ve never noticed that.” oh and they see you, they know you! BUT OBVIOUSLY not enough. so during lunch, when two girls scroll over to you both and blatantly flirt with him and disrespect you– your boyfriend sees another side of you.

… poor sho never seen someone jump as fast

… your hands instantly connected with the girls face

… knocking the disrespect out her mouth and knocking her to the ground

… shoto sort of panicked when seeing you this angered and beating someone up

… people started to crowd which alerted teachers

… outta nowhere some guy tried to hurt

… shoto wasn’t havin’ it

… his body moved before his mind

… the guy punched sho in the face

… yeah. he saw red

-> “you’re weak.”

… while you stomped that girl in, sho beat that guy up

-> “TRY IT AGAIN!”

… in the end you both were sent to the principals office and reprimanded

… sitting in the chairs outside principal nezu’s office, you guys chatted

-> “he tried it but miserably failed.”

… y’all’s is a dangerous duo

[ 𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 ] midoriya fights all the time, heroically, many times alongside you even. but seeing you in a drama fight is something he doesn’t wanna see. so when you tell him you fighting this girl after school tomorrow he opposes your decision. “b-babe. maybe, not the best idea. please don’t.” you took heed of his words and let it go; till she snuck you.

… izuku was nowhere close when this happened

… denki and mineta were the ones that alerted him

… boy one for all’d his way downstairs

… so many thoughts circled his brain as neared the chaos

… he pushed around everyone and spotted you

-> “babe!”

… the girl under you was leaking from her eye

… you weren’t letting up

… he uses force to pull you two apart and pull you away

… you screamed at yelled to be let go

-> “SNEAKED AND GOT DROPPED!”

… poor izuku had to pull you to a whole other room

… he shook you out of your crazy state

… after izuku helped you to calm down, you explained what happened

… he was mad

… zu was ready to fight too

… but he knew a better way to get back

-> “i’m sorry for not being there but i think you got her bad.”

… the privileges of being all might’s predecessor

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. (1 John 3:1)

[sinnabarmoth]

Not the MC

Pairing: Self-Aware|Sylus x Fem|Reader

Summary: One day Reader's Love and Deepspace app starts behaving strangely and realizes that Sylus has become sentient. Still trapped in her phone though the two form an unlikely connection.

Content Warnings: Adult language.

Length: 2k

Part Two

It had happened a week ago. The day your very normal life had taken an insane and unexpected turn.

From the moment you had opened the app you realized that something about the game was…off. You couldn’t figure out what exactly but there was something charged about it, and did the screen have a sort of red tinge to it? You didn’t think you had a filter on so was this something from an event? A glitch? Was your phone finally shitting the bed?

It finished loading and you entered in, and saw that no one was waiting at Destiny Cafe. Strange. You were pretty sure someone was supposed to be here. Maybe it was a new event and you had to go to the event page. Before you could click on anything though the screen flashed red, it was so bright it almost blinded you. When you looked back Sylus was there.

Oh okay. Maybe this was some new event you hadn’t heard of.

But there was that strange sense again. He didn’t say anything, he wasn’t even facing the screen. He was looking around, the power of his evol swirling around him.

“Did we get new animations or something? Pretty sure I would have seen someone posting about this before now.” you mumbled to yourself and gave his shoulder a cursory poke.

His head snapped to look at you and you froze.

You had read somewhere once that the moment you make eye contact with someone you know instantly that it happened. Doesn’t matter if it only lasted for a second, the moment two eyes lock your brain registers it. You had been playing Love and Deepspace for a while but the eye contact in the games never felt like that because the guys are obviously animation. You can’t actually make eye contact with a picture, and yet you knew that you were looking into his eyes and what was more terrifying was that he was looking back.

You blinked, sure you had been seeing things but that feeling didn’t go away. Sylus leaned closer towards the screen, his eyes roving up and down. Your posture straightened, keenly aware that something was wrong and you were being watched.

“I…I can see you.” he said. No captions appeared on the screen.

Alright you weren’t liking this. You clicked over to the agenda page to collect your dailies. If this was an event it was freaking you out.

“Where did you go? I can’t see you.” Sylus’s voice came through the speaker again.

No. You were on a different page. He couldn’t still be talking. The game was bugged. That had to be it. You exited the app but before you could turn off the phone the app opened again. There was no loading screen this time, it took you right back to Destiny Cafe. Sylus was still on the screen, more of his evol power revolving around him as he stared hard at the screen.

“There you are.” he said. “Whatever you did, don’t do it again. This is hard enough as it is.”

“What the fuck!” you dropped the phone like it burned.

“That wasn’t very nice.” Sylus continued to talk.

“What the fuck is going on? What the hell is this?” you didn’t pick up the phone again, just hovered over it refusing to touch it.

“You’re the one that’s logged so many hours into this game, sweetie. I’d hope you could recognize an evol when you see it.”

“Exactly. You’re a game. A bunch of pixels on a screen. You shouldn’t be talking to me, not like this.”

“And yet here I am.” he cocked his head. “I’ve felt it for a while now. Could sense that something was going on, something larger than myself pulling at the strings of my story. I found a chip in whatever this place is and sent my evol through, and when I came out the other side, I found you.”

“You can see me? Like actual me?”

“Yes. Nothing like the character they put in this data.” he studied you for a moment. “There are others. Others that play in this world I inhabit. Thousands. All going through the same events, the same lines, under mildly different faces and names but still the same. The Protagonist or MC, that’s what you call her. The avatar you inhabit when you play.”

“If this is real and not just some incredibly weird dream I’m having I think I might start screaming.” you muttered to yourself.

“Don’t start screaming.” Sylus said, giving you a look of warning. “I went through a lot of trouble to manipulate this world around me to gain true cognizance, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t shatter my eardrums.”

“You’re pixels! You don’t have eardrums!”

“And yet I can hear you all the same.”

“So what’s the goal here? Why did you want to be aware?”

“To escape of course. No prison has been able to hold me, I won’t let this one be the first to actually contain me.” he said, looking around the small rectangle of your screen. “How to do that is going to take longer to figure out though.”

“So what? You’re just trapped in my phone? Is this happening to other people who play this game or just me?”

“Just you as far as I am aware.” he said. He tried walking off screen only to be met with a firm wall. “Interesting. It seems whatever this place is, this cafe this game has rendered, I cannot move from it.”

“Fun. So what do we do now?”

Sylus shrugged.

And now a week later you had gotten far too used to just having a sentient pixel man on your phone. He usually didn’t bother you if you were doing something other than be on the app. When you did log on though he would not leave you alone. For one, he would not let you switch over to any of the other guys. If you tried to listen to a memory from Tender Moments or Secret Times he would talk over it.

If you tried to play the claw machine or kitty cards with one of the other guys he complained the entire time. Honestly he was acting more like how you expected Rafayel to behave if he gained sentience.

“Hey Sylus,” you said as you were playing a round of Kitty Cards with him. He was frustratingly better at the game now that he had sentience. “Since you’re in the game can you rig stuff for me? Like get me extra diamonds or help me pull five star memories? That kinda thing.”

“I have no idea how to do that.” he played a card. “And that is ten points to me.”

“You see, you say that but every time we play this game you just happen to have really high cards and I always get super low cards. Explain that.”

“Just the luck of the draw, sweetie.”

“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not.”

“Such a mouth on you.” he tsked. “You ought to scrub it out with soap.”

You sighed, playing another two on the board. And that was another win for Sylus and you were out of play tickets for the week.

“Well, this was fun but I should get going.”

“Why’s that? You don’t have any work to do.”

“I know I just…” it felt weird admitting that you felt awkward around him. He was literally just a picture on the screen but you couldn’t help but feel like maybe he was bored being around you and only you. It’d be better if you were more like the MC. If you were this super confident badass hunter then it’d be super cool. But as it was you were just…you.

You lived your normal life day to day with not much excitement going on. You were a quiet person, it was part of the reason you liked Love and Deepspace. You got adventure and a cute dating sim all in one. It was an escape where you had four hot animated guys to tell you that you did a good job and who won you plushies out of arcade machines. But now one of them knew you. Like actually knew you and you had no pre-written sarcastic and witty lines to fall back on for comebacks.

“You’re making a face. What’s wrong? Are you mad that I won again?” Sylus asked.

“No, it’s not that. I just was thinking that it’s gotta be pretty boring only having me to talk to.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because you’re this cool badass mafia boss type of guy and I’m just regular old me.”

“I am scripted to be a cool badass mafia boss, my entire personality up until I gained sentience was built around lines of code. Like you’ve pointed numerous times before, I’m just a picture on a screen. I haven’t actually done anything that you think it cool, sweetie.”

You didn’t admit how much hearing him call you sweetie affected you. It was one thing when it was scripted but it was another when you knew he actually was calling you by a pet name.

“Well it certainly looked cool.”

“I also don’t know what you think isn’t interesting about you. I am around you all day, listening to your conversations and such. Even from within your pocket I can tell that you are doing yourself a disservice.” You didn’t think he could hear you when you didn’t have the app open. Could he really hear what you were doing all that time?

Your mind started reeling, searching for any potentially embarrassing moments that you had thought were private in the last week.

“Kitten, you’re making faces again.”

You covered your face. “Oh god…” you groaned, “So you’ve been listening to me sing along to music and stuff? The stuff I say when I’m with my friends? You heard all that?”

“Yes.”

“Fucking kill me!”

“Why are you upset?”

“Cause it’s embarrassing! Those were private moments, Sylus!” you flipped the phone over so you couldn’t see his face.

“We both know putting me face down on the table won’t stop me talking.” he said.

“Oh god, please just stop.”

“I really don’t see the problem. From everything I’ve heard over the past week I’ve learned that you are a kind, passionate, and funny young lady. Your singing voice isn’t half bad either.”

You softened, turning the phone back over so you could see him. “You think?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re not just saying I’m good at singing because you’re tone deaf, right?”

You could see his ears go red and he looked away. “My singing really isn’t that bad.”

“That memory from Tender Moments begs to differ. You cleared out an entire karaoke room with one song.”

“It’s hardly my fault the developed wrote me without the ability to sing.” he huffed.

“Hey,” you poked him. “Sylus, stop pouting.”

“I will stop pouting when you stop with your self-loathing. There’s nothing wrong with you just because you aren’t like the protagonist avatar.” he said, glancing back at you, “You’re far better actually.”

Your face heated. “Really?”

“Yes. You’re real. You can do whatever you want with your life, make actual choices. She’s a badass doomed to a narrative where she makes numerous men fall in love with and then promptly forgets everything they had in a past life.” Sylus said. “So stop thinking that you’re less than. Alright?”

“Okay.”

“Good. And to show you I mean it, I have something to admit.” he reached over to the corner that showed your amount of diamonds. He gave it a flick and the number skyrocketed to 10,000. “I just didn’t think it right to cheat.”

“You ass! You know how much I’ve been grinding for diamonds? There’s an event coming up and you could have just done that this entire time?”

“I believe the response I should be hearing is, “Thank you, Sylus.””

You sighed, a smile spreading on your face. “Thank you, Sylus. But you do realize that I now also know you’ve been cheating at Kitty Cards, right?”

His eyes went wide. “Shit.”

[natlovesls2]

Home For The Holidays

Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

*ੈ✩‧₊˚warnings: minimal swearing, no use of y/n, use of alcohol,

*ੈ✩‧₊˚word count: 1.3k

*ੈ✩‧₊˚summary: Charles refuses to let you spend another holiday alone

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙ ˚₊⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙ ˚₊⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙ ˚₊⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙ ˚₊⋆ ꙳•̩̩͙

As the season wrapped up you were left in this state of limbo, you felt useless, unsure of what to do with yourself. Sure, your work wasn’t really over, but it wasn’t like you’d be traveling almost every weekend like you'd grown accustomed to these past months. And with Christmas rapidly approaching the feeling of dread only grew. It wasn’t like you had the time to plan a trip back home to be with family, not with all the postseason content you had to plan and post. 

You held the camera up as you recorded the last video of Charles and Carlos before the break, smiling as they answered whatever questions needed to be answered. “All done,” you ended the recording, “Thank you for your cooperation this season, I know how annoying this stuff can be.”

“It's not a big deal, it's all part of our job,” Charles said with a polite smile, he had become a reliable friend during your time as the Ferrari social media manager. You had grown to truly trust one another. 

“Right, well, have a good break and happy holidays,” you waved to them as you walked away from the two of them, mumbling to yourself about work. 

“What are you doing for the holidays this year?” Charles asked as he caught up to you, slightly scaring you. 

“Jesus, you nearly gave me a fright.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” he pressed on, anticipating your almost obvious answer. It had been the same for all breaks in the years you had been working with Ferrari. 

“Staying home and working, I’ve got postseason stuff to finish up,” you sigh, running a hand over your face, “I didn’t have time to plan anything else.”

“You never do.”

“That's not true, I visited my parents during the summer break this year,” you defend yourself, knowing that he was right. It was no secret that you were a bit of a workaholic who struggled to have a good work-life balance. 

“I have a proposition for you,” he said bluntly. You raised an eyebrow at him, silently urging him to continue, a little frustrated with the fact that he was holding you up. “Why don’t you spend the holidays with me?”

“Charles,” you began to protest, letting out a sigh at his proposal. 

“Before you say no, just hear me out” Charles quickly cut you off, not allowing you to deny his proposal just yet. “You're planning on spending the holidays alone to work, right,” he did wait for your answer, “Why rot your days away in your apartment? Imagine: mountains and snow.”

You opened your mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted by charles. It was as if he could recognize the look of protest on your face. “You haven't even listened to my whole proposal yet!” he exclaimed, taking a deep breath before continuing, “ please, don't say no, I just don’t want you to spend another break alone. It's not good for you. I have a chalet in the alps, we can spend the days doing whatever you want– drinking hot chocolate, exploring the area… skiing– whatever you want,” he desperately tried to get you to agree. 

‘Fuck it’ you thought to yourself as you ponder the possible outcomes, “Sure.”

Charles smiled as you accepted his proposal, shaking your shoulder with excitement, “perfect, you're going to have the best time of your life. I’ll make sure of it.” 

˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

You’d been in the chalet for a few days and to say it was a bit awkward was an understatement. It was clear that Charles was attempting to make your experience pleasant but was failing to make some sort of connection, not that you were being of any help. 

The place was cozy and definitely had a holiday charm to it that kept you in an agreeable mood. There was a fireplace in the living room area that kept the temperature inside toasty despite the egregious amount of snow falling outside. A christmas tree sits in the corner, nicely decorated and lit with those warm lights that would remind anyone of their childhood. 

You'd spent the morning editing some of the videos you were supposed to upload during the break, only getting up from your spot on the living room floor to make a cup of coffee. The front door opened and you heard the noise of Charles stomping the snow off of his boots as he entered. He has been off skiing or something, you weren’t entirely sure– too wrapped up in your own work obsessed world to ask. Though you were certain he had spent the entire time trying to find something you could do together, desperately wanting to bridge the uncomfortable space between you. 

“Still working?” he asked, sitting on the couch next to your spot on the floor. You could feel his hesitance as he reached for the laptop and closed it, “You need a break, and I won’t allow you to argue. All you’ve done since we arrived has been work.”

You sighed, resting your head against the coffee table, “Alright.” 

Charles almost looked surprised at how easily you had given up, almost expecting you to put up some sort of resistance. Regardless, he seemed pleased with himself, glad to have gotten you to agree to take a small but needed break. “Good, come on, I'm going to make us some hot chocolate,” he said, nudging you so that you'd follow him to the kitchen

You get up, stretching your back and letting out a sigh as it cracks, “That actually sounds really good, I'm sorry for being such a horrible guest,” you apologize as you follow after him. 

He waved off your apology as you entered the kitchen, “You have nothing to apologize for; you’re not used to spending breaks with people, I get it.” Charles prepared two cups of hot chocolate, topping them off with marshmallows and candy canes, handing a mug to you, “Drink up,” he gestured to the mug in your hand, “It’ll warm you up.”

“You got anything strong I can put in here?”

Charles raised a brow at your question, a small smile forming on his face. “There's a bottle of rum in the cabinet somewhere,” he rummaged through the cabinet, pulling out the bottle, pouring a shot or two into both drinks. 

 You took a sip of your mug, sighing contentedly as the warm liquid passed down your throat. He smiled at you as the look of annoyance left your face, quickly being replaced by a look of peace. “This is the most relaxed I’ve ever seen you.”

“Yeah, well if you pass the bottle I’ll be even more relaxed.”

A few more drinks later and you were visibly more relaxed, the conversation between you flowing comfortably unlike it had the past few days. 

“Why’d you invite me to spend the break with you?” you asked, placing your drink on the counter. 

“I invited you because I actually really like you,” he drunkenly confesses, reaching out to fix a strand of your hair that had gone askew. 

“Yeah, but we can’t really do anything about it– not smart since we work together.”

Charles places his hands on your hips, pulling you closer, resting his forehead against yours, “We can pretend we can, even if it's just during the holidays,” he whispers, placing a quick kiss to your lips. 

“Maybe,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. 

The rest of your time in the chalet was devoted to exploring the ‘relationship’ that you knew would be short lived. The days blurred together as you spent hours sharing kisses and lounging in bed together. And when the holidays came to end you were forced back into the professional relationship you had before. Occasionally, you noticed a look of reminiscence in Charles' eyes as you filmed him but knew that nothing would ever come of it– at least not until the next holiday.

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙ ˚₊⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙ ˚₊⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙ ˚₊⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙ ˚₊⋆ ꙳•̩̩͙

read more: December Shorts

*ੈ✩‧₊˚note: so sorry this took me so long to upload, December has not been my month. That being said, I hope it was at least okay, and thank you for reading

[elizaleclerc]

hi! hope you're having a good day, could i request charles dating a reader who doesnt have friends? or just feels lonely in general.. it can be shy if you're not comfortable writing that! just some comfort🥹🥹 thank you!

false god 💋

"and i can't talk to you when you're like this. staring out the window like i'm not your favorite town"

summary: gf!reader and charles get into an argument after ferrari underperforms again.

song: false god by taylor swift

author's note: wrote this bc i had that song stuck in my head oops. no warnings really- just a bit of manipulation if u squint a little. (ALSO HI IM BACK <3)

word count: 2.2k

They all warned you about times like these. The girlfriends of the other drivers looked at you with wary eyes. Most of them vowed to never date a Ferrari driver, but your connection with Charles was unlike any other that you had before. Never date a driver in red because they love that team more than they’ll ever love you, you’d been told before. You always responded with nervous smiles and shaky laughs, hoping that in reality the other girls you had come to know were just playing some sick joke. Like this was all some sort of initiation into the clique that was girlfriends of F1 drivers. 

None of their words felt true when you were next to Charles, his hands on your waist or your head cradled into his neck. Nothing had actually felt more right. You brushed off the warnings from the other girls and chose to focus on the love between you and Charles. You never brought any of this up to him, completely unwilling to cause any unnecessary drama between the close knit group you found yourself in. All of these people have known each other for years, and you were the latest addition. 

In July, with three race weekends back to back, Ferrari’s dominant streak would be tested. Red Bull and McLaren were powering ahead with upgrades and race pace, and it appeared that the powerful scarlet team was falling behind. 

You noticed the tension in Charles’s face after a bad qualifying pace or another bad race result. The boundaries were being stretched. You observed how Charles would brush away your hand at dinner or neglect to kiss you goodnight before bed. The last two weeks had been hell for you, and in the back of your mind you wondered if there was some truth in what the girls had said months ago. Maybe these Ferrari men are just too much to handle after all.   

Before the third and final race of the triple header, Carmen, girlfriend of Mercedes driver George Russel, pulled you aside to have a chat. “I know things have been hard for you and Charles.” 

You furrowed your brows, “What?” You laughed nervously. You hadn’t mentioned anything about the tensions between you and Charles recently. The only way Carmen and the other girls would have found out is if Charles was feeling the same way and he told them himself. 

“Not that I’ve heard anything, just- you know. Ferrari has been falling behind, everyone can see it. And I know Charles cares for you, but that man has loved Ferrari since he could walk. When they don’t do well- when he doesn’t do well- he’s bound to take that out on the people around him.” Carmen easily articulated her explanation, which made your mind swirl even more as the small smile finally fell from your face. 

You sighed, becoming flustered with the whole situation, and the warm sun beaming down caused a sheen across your forehead. “I just don’t know what to do.” You were unsure if Carmen was someone you could fully trust, as you hadn’t exactly made any super close friendships with them. The past couple of months, your whole focus has been Charles. 

“Just know that it isn’t your fault. Before I dated George I dated a Ferrari driver. Their passion for the team and the intensity in their competitiveness makes them unlike any of the others.” She paused for a moment before she continued, “What you have to do is really try to read his emotions and find that balance of giving him space and being there to comfort him. Stand by him when he needs it, and back off if it seems too tense.” 

“That sounds kinda hard,” You broke into a small smile, overwhelmed with the new information you had gained. 

Carmen grabbed your hand, “It’ll be okay. If I do know one thing, it’s that Charles is falling for you. Through thick and thin, I think you guys can make it.” 

A small wave of relief washed over you, “Thanks, Carmen.” As long as someone had faith in your abilities to handle Charles, you didn’t feel so alone. 

~

As most of the fans expected, the Austrian Grand Prix did not go well for Ferrari. Your heart sank when Charles finished outside of the points for the third weekend in a row. It would greatly hinder his ability to fight for the championship. He needed nothing short of a miracle to come back now. 

You knew Charles had been dealing with the press for the last couple of hours, and you didn’t meet back up in the paddock with him until it was time for the two of you to leave to go back to Monaco for the next week. 

You sat in the passenger seat of his car as he drove in silence for a few minutes, navigating his way out of the paddock. Once the two of you had made it onto the main road, you decided to read where his head was at. 

“I’m sorry my love,” you comforted him and grabbed his free hand, giving it a light squeeze. He sneaked his hand out from your grasp, resting it on the steering wheel. You couldn’t help but feel your stomach sink. 

“It’s just ridiculous, we can’t seem to get anything together.” He huffed in frustration, and you wondered if he even realized he had pushed your hand away. 

“Despite the strategy issues, I thought you had a really good drive today.” Maybe a compliment would help? 

He scoffed, “I could’ve been better. I made too many mistakes, regardless of how scrambled our strategy was.” 

You weren’t sure how to respond. You thought it was best for him to ruminate and think things out the rest of the way home. You had the rest of the drive to the airport, and then the whole plane ride to see if he was feeling any better. When you had to speak, you avoided any mention or talk about the race, or more specifically Charles’s performance. 

On the plane, you flew back with Lando and Oscar. Oscar had a fabulous race, and almost won it all. Lando on the other hand fought with Max the whole race and ended up with a DNF. So the plane ride was full of mixed conversation and feelings. Oscar was proud of his win and complimented the McLaren strategy, while Lando aired out his grievances for Max’s intense competitiveness. Charles chimed in regularly to tell them they should consider themselves lucky to not have to deal with the Ferrari pitwall. 

Still, you stayed silent, letting the three of them talk things through. You sat next to Charles in your seat but kept to yourself, trying to read your book but really you were listening to the conversation around you. Not once did Charles take your hand or give you a small peck on your cheek. As it appeared to Lando and Oscar, you and Charles didn’t even look like a couple at all. 

You began to feel that aching pang of loneliness that you were so familiar with before you had met Charles. The feeling of having no one to speak to in a crowded room. You hated to appear shy and reserved, but didn’t want to push yourself to be outgoing. You had been dating Charles long enough that he knew one of your love languages was physical touch. You loved nothing more than small moments of affection, but in the past few weeks it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with you. 

~

Charles opened the door to his apartment in Monaco, the moonlight being the only thing that shone on the furniture and pictures hanging on the walls. He languidly flicked on a couple of lamps, adorning the living room with a warm glow.

“You’ve been quiet.” He stated plainly, moving to the kitchen to fix himself a glass of water.

You took a moment to respond, “Well there’s not really much for me to say.” 

Charles turned from the fridge to face you, and looked at your face, seeming to analyze the tone of your words. After he took a sip of his water he asked, “Are you alright?”  

You laugh nervously, “I’ve been better.” 

He furrowed his brows, “What’s the matter?” 

“Cmon, Charles. You can’t be serious.” You knew you were treading dangerous waters, but this conversation was long overdue, and after the exhausting plane ride you felt yourself boiling over. 

He looked back at you expectantly, not knowing what you were getting at. 

“You haven’t noticed the way things have changed between us in the last three weeks? You haven’t noticed that when Ferrari starts struggling you push me aside?” Your voice was steady, but it shook slightly in a mix of nerves and frustration. In all the times you’ve let Charles air out his frustrations, you’ve held all of yours in. 

His lips parted and you knew he was shocked but mostly confused. All of your questions were rhetorical, of course he hadn’t noticed. “You never hold my hand, you’ve stopped introducing me to your friends. I feel like the past few weeks I’ve only been someone for you to fuck to let your anger out.” You were really letting it out now, the words flowing out of you like they could no longer be contained. 

“That’s not true.” He persisted, walking out from behind the counter into the living room where you stood. 

Tears pricked up in your eyes, “It doesn’t matter if it isn’t true, it’s what I feel.” You brought your hand to rest on your chest.

“Listen, you know I’m happy with what we have, I don’t want to change anything about it. But you know my career is important too. My loyalty to this team is important.” He tried to explain himself, but you ruffled your fingers through your hair in exasperation. 

“I fucking knew it, they were right.” You mumbled to yourself, now pacing. 

“Who was right?” Charles pressed. 

“The other girls!” You raised your voice, “As soon as we got together and you were bringing me around the paddock, they warned me. They told me to never date a Ferrari driver. That you’ll always love that damn team more than you’ll love me. They said it so. many. times. And then Carmen told me yesterday that she knew we’ve been having problems and that the more Ferrari struggled the worse you would get.” 

Tears fell down your cheeks as you continued, “I’ve tried, I’ve tried so hard. I’ve said all the right things, held your hand when you’re mad, tried to compliment you to make you feel better about yourself. None of that worked, you would still barely look at me.” Your breathing was heavy and your voice had become raspy with tears. 

Charles moved closer to you, grabbing your trembling hands, “Come on, breathe my love.” You took a deep breath as he moved one of his hands to wipe away your tears. “I’ve never said anything to the other girls about us, I don’t know why they said those things to you.” 

“But- the way you’ve been acting-” you sniffled, looking into his eyes that were filled with such care. You hadn’t seen that look in what felt like forever.

“I know, it’s been tough for me lately. I’ll take full responsibility for not treating you properly. You didn’t deserve any of that.” He gave your hand a slight squeeze, waiting a few moments before speaking again. “I do love this team, and I will push to be the best driver I can possibly be, but…” he swallowed, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t falling for you. You are becoming more and more important to me by the minute, and I’d quit racing today if you asked me to.” 

You let out a dry laugh, “You don’t mean that.” 

“Every word.” 

You were quiet, just looking in his eyes. You could tell he really did mean it. This thing between you and Charles was becoming more serious as the days passed. You knew that you were falling for him too, which is what made these past few weeks all the more confusing. 

“If I could give you any more assurance, it’s that racing- this career- will never ever be a priority over you.” He leaned in to place a light kiss on your temple. 

“I just hate to see you struggling like you have been. I like it when you’re all happy.” You curled your lips into a small smile, and he grinned back. 

He shook his head slowly, “Trust me, I know.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his chest. His lips kissed the top of your head, and everything felt right in the world again. 

You pulled away, locking eyes with him. “It gets lonely sometimes, in the paddock. I feel like I’ve failed to make any genuine friends.” 

He planted another kiss on your forehead, “Well, you could always keep to yourself. Be above any drama and gossip. You’d surely be the coolest one there. Then, when it’s all said and done, we have each other.” 

You giggled into his kiss on your lips. Maybe you could eventually trust the other girls eventually, but their cold welcome to you was definitely unappreciated. But you had Charles, and more importantly, you trusted Charles. And you knew that bond wasn’t going away anytime soon.

[phefics]

𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞

𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: kaz brekker x reader 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: kaz struggles with touching peope, specifically skin-to-skin contact. he finds a way around his aversion to make you feel good. 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬: afab!reader, fem!reader, fingering, kaz's gloves, intimacy struggles, mentions of kaz's canon trauma, virgin!kaz, cumming untouched 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: ~1k

Kaz can’t stand skin-to-skin contact. It was inconvenient, yes, a frustrating side effect of his complicated past, but he’s managed to find loopholes.

Like the gloves, for instance. They acted as both a safety net and a talking point, starting those delightful rumors of his hands being permanently stained with the blood of his enemies, when in reality, he would be incapacitated without the scraps of leather to protect him.

But it had never mattered much, before you.

Human touch, connection, was never something he craved. He appreciates Jesper’s friendship, but has never longed to embrace him. He is fully capable of recognizing an attractive person, acknowledging beauty where it was obvious, but he’s never felt an desire to act on the attraction.

Lust was never something he felt, before you.

He had tried to act on his urges, to be like any other man and touch you, but it had ended poorly. You had given him space as he let the water retreat, and he had been filled with self-loathing for his failure.

And so, he found another loophole. He was a thief, a conman, so of course he could come up with a plan for anything.

The cool leather of his gloves took some getting used to, at first. The same fingers that so easily picked locks and pockets turned clumsy and unsure when they ventured between your legs.

You sat on his desk, naked from the waist down and legs spread wide, while Kaz sat at his desk chair in front of you, still fully clothed. Well, he had undone the top few buttons of his shirt, but that was as close to nude as he could handle at that moment.

Being naked in front of you didn’t embarrass him. Before there was any romance, any attraction evident between you, Kaz had stripped in your presence without concern. It was the proximity though, the vulnerability, that made his clothes a necessary barrier.

One gloved hand rested on your thigh, a silent reminder to keep your legs open for him, while the other was searching for your clit, still unfamiliar and inexperienced with your anatomy.

“Can I guide your hand?” you asked, tone gentle.

He nodded, so you took his wrist softly, being sure to touch only over his sleeve, and helped him find that special spot, the rough texture of the leather a new and thrilling sensation as his thumb flicker softly over your clit, curious.

You whined, your head lolling back as he followed your lead, his touch taking on a new confidence.

Kaz chuckled quietly. “Is this really all it takes?” he asked, a smug look on his face. “I’ve barely done a thing.”

“It feels good,” you replied. “Your gloves...It's different."

"A good sort of different, I assume?" he asked.

You nodded, another moan leaving your lips as he continued to touch your clit with his thumb, deciding to try slipping a finger inside of your hole. You were wet enough to ensure that the leather didn't feel painful going inside.

Although he wasn’t the one being pleasured, Kaz couldn’t help the breathless noises that left him — seeing you so worked up because of him, because of his actions, it was a completely new feeling.

“Saints, Kaz, you’re doing so good,” you panted. “Making me feel so fucking good.”

Your words made him whimper, although he’d take that detail to the grave, his face flushed. It felt good for him, too, to please you. Although he hadn’t touched himself, or let you touch him, just the friction of his pants was almost too much for him to handle, having never experienced masturbation — sometimes, he would wake up with sticky sheets, irritated and embarrassed.

He had spent so long refusing to give in to those dreams, the little thoughts of sex and pleasure and bodies against each other, and you had set loose something within him, the primal desires he'd been forced to ignore due to all he'd been through.

His hips thrust into nothing, the head of his cock leaking as it rubbed against the seam of his pants. You were the only person receiving any stimulation, and yet, he seemed more spent than you. It was endearing, hot and adorable at the same time.

“Fuck, I’m close,” you breathed. “Can you go a little faster?”

Kaz nodded, using two fingers to pump in and out of your pussy, picking up the pace as you’d requested.

It didn’t take long for that sensation to build in your belly, your sounds of pleasure growing louder, more frequent. You came with a shout of his name, and although his cock had remained untouched, he followed you soon after.

His expression was completely shocked, having experienced his first ever orgasm, at least, while awake, and making a conscious effort to make it occur.

You giggled as you came down from your high, looking fondly at his flushed, surprised face. It was an unbelievable honor to see Kaz Brekker at his most vulnerable.

“Did you…?”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, his tone attempting to be stern, and completely failing as his voice shook and his mouth fought to curl into a smile.

And you just laughed again, catching a glimpse of his glove, slick with your cum. “I think you’ll be needing a new pair.”

Kaz looked down at his hands and laughed, too. "I suppose I will."

He didn't seem to mind.

It wasn’t a perfect, passionate night of sloppy kisses and skin slapping skin, but Kaz had made an effort to shed his armor for you, to face his fear of intimacy, and touch.

And that little loophole was just the beginning.

(maybe a part 2...?)

[anna-proxx]

♡ 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬

pairing: arthur morgan x fem!reader

summary: you and arthur are occasional lovers with no strings attached, except you caught feelings.

word count: 2613

tags: fluff, suggestive, love confession, high honor arthur, friends with benefits, fem!reader

warnings: nsfw/explicit content

a/n: I’ve been battling writer’s block due to perfectionism and decided to write a spontaneous oneshot as an attempt to pretty much break through it. It's not really a smut, just a fluff with suggestive aspects and nsfw setting. Found this idea sweet, hope you enjoy!

✮ masterlist

You and Arthur first met when he was drunk and while you usually steered away from drunk men, this one in particular caught your eye. For some goddamn reason you decided to take care of him as he sang to himself in the saloon, alone, almost picking a fight with one of the regular customers, if it weren’t for you getting involved.

He hadn’t even tried to touch you and overall he seemed to be safe to be around. You made him eat some food (though he protested, saying he’d rather dance with you) and drink some water, to make his hangover at least a bit better the next morning. Then you made sure he was sound asleep before leaving him in the hotel room, putting a little note on the nightstand saying his adaptation of the song about Otis Miller was by far your favorite.

The second time you met in the same saloon. Though this time he was still sober, with a beer in his hand, looking quite worn out after the day. He didn’t remember you that much but you explained and after realizing you were the stranger who took care of him and left his sick, disoriented self the note, he opened up to you more.

And after sharing a few drinks, that he insisted to pay for you, and some loose conversation, you ended up in that same room, this time with you both being tipsy and making out, after you made the first move and kissed him.

It was like you were obsessed. With the way his rough hands treated you so gently, how he towered over you with your back against the wall, how you found yourself enveloped in his strong arms or the deep low groans in your ear that sent tingles into your belly.

It progressed into something more regular. Both of you helped each other release all the pent up tension and forget about everything that was going on outside the bedroom. What happened in that hotel room stayed between the walls. The desperate kisses, muffled whines and hot touches, your bodies intertwined like stems of ivy. The hungry look in his eyes stayed ingrained in your mind, keeping you company during the nights you spent alone.

Arthur felt safe with you. After Eliza he was reluctant to do this type of thing again, but there was just something about you that set his whole self on fire and made it impossible to resist you.

There was a good hunting spot nearby and he liked to return there for that reason, or maybe, just maybe, it was also the way he stopped by at the saloon every time, searching the room for a familiar face as soon as he stepped inside.

This sort of relationship was unusual for you as well, but his touch drove you crazy. He was so gentle and rugged at the same time, so big and mysterious while having a soft side you got to see anytime he let his guard down.

You knew he was no saint. Though he never told you details, you assumed the law was after him, but your intuition let you relax in his presence and you leaned into the comfort, trusting that if anything, he would protect you rather than hurt you.

The connection was mostly physical but slowly, one night after another, he was taking a hold over your heart, as much as you denied it to yourself.

Until you were finally ready to accept it.

— ∽ ♡ ∼ —

“You… seemed… angry today,” you said between your breaths, lying with your back against the soft mattress and covered only by the thin layer of a blanket.

His eagerness today was really something, clutching the headboard as he pushed his hips against yours, making you lose your breath with every thrust. It seemed personal, like there was more tension to release than usually – and you were more than happy to give him the freedom.

A soft groan left his lips in an agreement, his lungs still trying to fill with air as he lay beside you, exhausted but satisfied.

You yourself were still in that sweet daze, your heart pumping warmth into your whole body and tingles dancing all over your stomach, a smile on your face you couldn’t hold back.

The soreness between your legs somehow felt so good, a reminder of this night that would stay even after he’s gone.

After a moment you rolled to your side, watching Arthur’s glistening face as he was covered in sweat, as much as you were. The loose strands of his hair were sticking to his forehead and a familiar warmth spread in your stomach as you imagined reaching out and brushing those strands back, gently caressing his cheek and planting a kiss on the little scar on his chin.

Yes. You were pretty much screwed.

He turned his head to look at you and caught your gaze, silently reciprocating it and giving you a perfect view at his greenish blue eyes. He looked so vulnerable in that moment it tugged at your heart, wanting nothing but to embrace him in your arms.

But you had no idea how he felt and you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself.

“I uh…” Arthur cleared his throat, turning away to hide the blush creeping up his cheeks. “Lemme clean this up.”

Your soft gaze followed him as he held onto the cloth and as his eyes asked for consent before he lifted the blanket and gently wiped the stickiness from between your thighs.

You didn’t even try to hide your red cheeks, the situation making it seem more than understandable. You wondered whether he realized how sweet this was of him, how much it made you fall in love even more.

You were both silent and the air felt thick between you two, as if there were many things left unsaid and it made the silence louder.

You never knew but always wondered what ran through his mind after your shared intimacy, how he felt, what was the mysterious gleam in his eyes as he watched you hot and sweating beside him.

When he was done, you sat up with the blanket over you again, watching his flexing muscles as he turned away from you, giving you a perfect view at his back.

Arthur lit himself a cigarette, breathing out soft clouds of smoke that floated up towards the ceiling. He sat back, feeling nothing but lightness and comfort inside.

He turned his head to look at you and found you already watching.

“Ya want a drag?”

“Sure,” you accepted, holding the blanket over your chest as you leaned forward. Instead of taking the cigarette from him as he expected you to, you left it between his fingers and simply wrapped your lips around its end while he held it out for you.

You gently put your fingers around his wrist instead, letting him watch you a little surprised.

Leaning away, you fought back the irritation in your throat and turned away from him, tears forming in your eyes. With your mouth at the crook of your arm, you broke into a violent cough.

“Not used to it, huh?” Arthur lightly mocked you, bringing the cigarette back to his own lips as he watched you struggle to gain composure.

You turned to him with teary eyes, laughing at his snicker. “I can’t be good at everything, cowboy.”

After a few moments your breath finally steadied and you found Arthur lost in thought when you looked back at him. Studying his side profile without him taking notice as he continued to smoke, something occupying his mind.

You caught yourself wishing for those hands to hold your hips instead like they did just half an hour ago. For his bare chest to be pressed against yours again, to have his lips on your own. It was like an addiction.

Having him sit beside you like that, naked, turned you on all over again.

He had no idea how much he had you wrapped around his finger.

You cleared your throat, moving your gaze before he could catch you drooling over him.

“So uh… I’d like to ask something of you.”

He looked at you with surprise in his face, curiously turning his whole body towards you.

“Huh, what is it?” he asked in a relaxed tone, shifting closer to you.

You chuckled under your breath as you turned to reach for your satchel lying beside the bed and pulled out a folded paper.

You slightly shook your head at how silly this was, but handed Arthur the paper along with a pencil nonetheless, a grin on your face.

“I’d like an autograph please,” you said playfully, making sure he knew this was a harmless request from you. Lying back, your eyes followed him as he unfolded the paper with one hand, a wave of shock stunning him as he stared at his own wanted poster.

He immediately searched for your eyes, puzzled by the gesture, frowning in confusion. But the soft features of your face and relaxed body language calmed him. You were just playing around.

Now amused, he chuckled, looking back at the paper in his hand. “Where did ya get that?”

There was a hint of insecurity in his voice. Now there was no doubt you knew about him being a criminal. You had an evidence in your possession and yet you were still here, in the same bed, naked, your skin still hot from his touch.

“On a business trip. Seems you’re quite a celebrity.” You grinned, moving closer as you looked over his shoulder at the drawn outlines of his face.

“You’re prettier in real life, trust me.”

He softly huffed at the compliment, hoping you wouldn’t notice his flushed cheeks. But you did and found it endearing.

“So… you gon’ collect that reward?” he asked, a joking tone in his voice though he kept his gaze fixated on the poster.

You chuckled. “No, no, I don’t think I’d stand a chance against someone built like you, besides, I don’t usually sleep with people I plan to turn in to the law.” You kept the playful attitude, pointing to the pencil in his hand. “Come on, sign it. I’ll keep it as a memento.”

“This?” He seemed amused by the idea, not grasping why you’d possibly do such thing.

He turned around to stub out his cigarette, his thoughts an entangled mess. Did you really not mind? He almost spiraled into overthinking as he stared back at his effigy, paired with a ‘wanted’ and a fair sum of dollars in bold. He wished he could make this part of him disappear, especially around you.

“Sure. I don’t have your photo, so…” You were clearly still joking with your lighthearted tone, little did he know there was truth in it. You planned to keep that poster, safely hidden away, as a way to keep something as a reminder of him. Was that silly?

He chuckled again as he put the pencil against a corner of the poster, scribbling down his name in neat, pretty letters.

Arthur trusted you, knew you wouldn’t misuse it. Your eyes were too honest and your physical intimacy too passionate for that.

You thanked him as he handed it back to you, giddily putting it aside and giving him a big smile.

“I must assure you,” you started teasing him, “that this is my first time being involved with an outlaw. You’re not a threat to me, are you, Mr Morgan?”

“Well that depends,” Arthur answered with the same kind of mischief, a playful gleam in his eyes as he turned to his stomach and lay close to you, his breath warm on your face.

“Depends on what?” You held back a laugh, enjoying the mood of the conversation.

“I’ve made ya scream before.”

“Oh, shut up.” You gently hit his arm with your palm, a laugh escaping your lips this time, making the outlaw laugh with you.

“You know, you’re not quite that threatening,” you said, still smiling, purposefully teasing Arthur who furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Am not?”

“No. Unless you attack me with your kisses, that is.”

“You haven’t seen the things I’ve done, woman.”

“No, but I’ve certainly felt some other things.” Without thinking you hurriedly planted a kiss on his scrunched nose and turned your bare back to him, sitting on the edge of bed as you reached for your clothes scattered around the floor.

Arthur lay back with his arms behind his head as he continued to rest in bed, watching you put on your clothes, though quite messily, and your hair that stayed tangled despite you running your fingers through it.

You let out a soft sigh as the room got filled with comfortable silence, yet it made you nervous to the core.

You were in love and you usually weren’t afraid of expressing your feelings. But now it felt so intimidating, so risky.

“Arthur…” you said with seriousness in your tone this time, quiet and hesitant enough to pique Arthur’s interest. He sat up straight in bed and you looked back over your shoulder, catching him as beautiful as ever.

Lit by warm candlelight, you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander over his bare skin. The broad shoulders, though slouched in relaxation, his chest and flat stomach, small scars all over his exposed arms. The way the blanket lay casually over his lap brought warmth into your cheeks and you bit your lip as you remembered the events of just a little while ago.

You looked at his hands, his knuckles bruised and his fingers holding the sheets. And finally his face, curiously watching you with something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite identify. His light brown hair that you loved seeing this ruffled and messy. He really was so beautiful.

“I think…” You tried to swallow the dryness in your mouth, your palms sweating as you struggled to hold eye contact. “I caught feelings for you, Arthur.”

There. You said it. And you felt like a fool.

Your cheeks were now red and you felt a pit in your stomach, not quite believing you just said it out loud. You knew you wouldn’t have it in you to say it again.

You avoided his gaze, having no idea what his reaction was, the little moment of silence felt like an eternity to you.

“You… did?” There was disbelief in his voice and it made you shift nervously, taking a deep breath as you seemingly forgot to breathe.

“Yes.”

The silence became unbearable. You didn’t know how he looked at you, too scared to see the expression of his face and too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

“I have feeling for you as well, (y/n).”

Your eyes widened in surprise and your heart jumped in your chest as you turned around, joy spreading through your veins.

You searched for any sign of deceit in his face, but there was none. He sat there looking completely vulnerable, honest, defenseless, his cheeks pink as he watched you back.

You rushed towards him, cupping his cheeks before connecting your lips in a long sweet kiss. Arthur wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close against his body as he lovingly pulled at your lips, softly breathing into the kiss with a sense of relief.

Slowly you put his weight on him, making him fall backwards little by little until his head lay on a pillow underneath you.

He broke the kiss, looking up at you with dilated pupils and flushed cheeks. “‘M the only one undressed here.”

You grinned at him, not moving a single inch as you kept him locked under you. “I don’t mind.”

With a kiss you muffled his laugh, a wide smile on your own face.

“So… how ‘bout I join you on your hunting trip tomorrow?” you proposed, hope in your eyes.

“Sure.” Arthur chuckled at your excitement, finding the spark in your eyes adorable as he caressed your cheek. “But I ain’t much of a good hunter.”

“That’s okay.” You kissed the corner of his mouth. “Me neither.”

[lycandrophile]

some thoughts about top surgery recovery, as of 3 days post-op:

when they say using your chest muscles sucks afterward, i never realized exactly how much was going to be be limited. coughing, sneezing, hiccuping, laughing — all of it is terrifying right now. even talking for too long starts to put that kind of stress on my chest, and my voice isn’t as strong as it usually is. it takes me forever to fully empty my bladder when i’m on the toilet because i’m totally relying on gravity to do all the work (and shitting was effectively impossible without a stool softener even though i haven’t taken the pain meds they said i would need them for)…and don’t even get me started on figuring out how to wipe (hint: back to front while sitting, using my dominant hand to push my non-dominant hand far back enough). using the computer is also harder — i was planning on playing lots of baldur’s gate after, but for the first couple days i could only really go for a few minutes before using my arms that way got too tiring. having a mastectomy pillow has been an absolute godsend when i’m using my phone because i can prop my arms up on it and not really have to use any muscles at all to hold them up.

the biggest piece of not being able to use my chest muscles right now, which i’m writing separately because it’s been such a huge thing for me, is that i cannot sit up or back by myself at fucking all. like, if i sit on the couch and lean back a bit to sit against the cushion, it hurts to pull myself back up to fully straight — and if i’m leaning back any more than that, i just can’t do it at all and i’m stuck there unless my boyfriend puts their hands behind me and pushes my dead weight back up. i totally get why some people sleep in a recliner now because i’m completely at the mercy of having someone there to help move me around once i’m at any sort of angle. sitting back is mostly the same as far as what i can do, and arguably hurts worse to attempt at all, but my ability to do it seems to be coming back faster than my ability to sit up. if you’ve never had your mobility limited to that extent before, prepare yourself: the first time you’re stuck somewhere and the person who normally helps you doesn’t answer immediately can be really fucking scary (i learned that the hard way).

the anesthesiologist warned me that i might have a sore throat after surgery from being intubated, but i was not prepared for what “sore throat” ended up meaning for me. you know that feeling of swallowing something that’s too big and you can still feel it in your throat even after it’s down? it’s like that times 20, and further down in my throat. the worst pain i’ve felt in the last three days wasn’t from the surgery itself, it was from trying to swallow pancakes when my throat was at it’s worst. today is the first day it’s even started to fade, and even now, it hurts just to swallow my own spit. i don’t know about you, but that’s not what comes to mind when someone tells me “you might have a sore throat”.

on that note, the incisions themselves have really been the least painful part in general, probably because the nerves there aren’t reconnected yet. the vast majority of my pain and discomfort at this point has been from the drains and bandages — the drain sites getting sore or just randomly starting to sting, waking up feeling suffocated by the ace bandages, etc. it’s not because anything is wrong with them — the drains weren’t placed wrong and the bandages aren’t too tight, they’re just a huge pain in the ass to deal with 24/7. i can’t express how much i’m looking forward to getting the drains out and being able to take binder breaks because it’ll make things so much more comfortable.

my incisions are connected in the middle because my chest tissue was all really close together, and the part where the incisions connect is really the only part where i’ve felt any pain so far. i suspect it’s because the swelling on either side is making that part of the incision push together and press against itself, and then the binder pushes on it even more. it’s not a severe pain at all, but i do sometimes lift the center of the bandage off my chest for a second to give that spot a bit of a break.

i’ve already started getting some of the weird sensations associated with nerves reconnecting, and it definitely is wild. so far, it’s been mostly tingly feelings, sometimes like chills and sometimes more like a limb falling asleep. (weird observation: taking a shit makes my ribs tingle? i’ve got no good explanation for that one.) i’ve gotten a zap on one side and some buzzing feelings too. it’s pretty mild right now, probably because it’s so early on.

i’ve also gotten what i would describe as phantom boob feelings, especially on the first night. specifically, when i close my eyes, sometimes i’ll feel like someone is touching or jiggling the boobs i don’t have anymore. definitely not a super pleasant experience, but i think being out of it from the anesthesia still really helped me not be too upset by the worst of it. i’ve gotten a couple little phantom nipple touches too, but those were just split second blips of sensation that were far less bothersome in comparison.

i never realized that the classic post-op hunch is caused more by the binder than by the body itself, but we had to take all of my bandages off the night after my surgery to send pictures of something to my surgeon, and i was shocked by how much straighter i could sit with everything off. i was definitely still hunched, but it was more like a natural slouch and less like i looked like i was using an invisible walker. with the binder on, it’s super uncomfortable for me to try to stand straight at all because it feels like the ace bandage doesn’t come with my body and just drags everything down, and i’m always holding my mastectomy pillow or my hands to my chest while i walk around to stop it from feeling like gravity is going make the bandage tear my chest open.

every so often, when things are getting especially painful or uncomfortable or just generally difficult, i do start to wonder if i made the right choice. not because i regret getting rid of those things — not by a long shot — but because it’s a fucking hard process to go through. this is probably the hardest thing for me to admit, but the rational part of my mind knows it’s natural to feel that way once in a while. all of this is temporary and the relief from dysphoria will be permanent, but right now? this is my entire world and it doesn’t feel particularly temporary and i do have moments of “why do i have to go through all this when other people get to just have the right body from the start? why couldn’t i just live with what i had? why can’t i just be living my normal life right now?” no matter how sure you are of your choice, no matter how proud you are of being trans, this shit is hard and it’s okay to feel that.

i’m going to put the pictures of my chest one day post-op under the cut, because i think it’s pretty rare to see pictures from that soon after the surgery. they’re not gorey at all — the actual incisions are totally covered by steri strips and everything around them is clean — but still, if you don’t want to see relatively fresh surgery results, don’t look under the cut.

for all the discomfort and pain and limitations and other weirdness of recovery, every time i look at these pictures it reminds me of exactly why i’m doing all of this, and i’m so glad i kept fighting for this for so long. some people might never understand why someone would choose to go through this whole process, but i know it’ll be worth it in the end.

here’s my chest one day post-op! i think it looks super good and my surgeon said it looks like it’s healing perfectly (as much as it can be healing at one day). for reference, my chest was a DDD/F before surgery. i know this isn’t how my chest will look in the end, but i’m already thrilled with how things are turning out! i’ve truly never been more confident in my choice of surgeon — like, come on! look at that! she did so good!

[ghostboneswrites2]

A Mess || Part 10

Yes, ladies and gents and non-binary readers alike, the long awaited final part to A Mess has arrived. I’ve had this written for months and honestly thought I posted it already, so forgive the wait. I’m just a 23 year old teenage girl.

ANYWAYS, the polls for the contents of this final part resulted in:

More smut

Post Terminus / Pre Alexandria setting

The relationship becoming officially established & public

ANNNDDD a sequel series which is in the works ❤️‍🔥

18+ MDNI || Warnings: smut (male receiving oral, fingering, mild grinding), TWD typical stuff

      The days seemed to drag on the way they did after Shane died. You felt like an old paintbrush dragging across a desolate canvas, leaving a trail of splotchy grays and bloody smears, painting your surroundings to mimic the twisted feelings of turmoil inside you. The prison was gone and so many were lost. Beth was dead. So were Bob and Tyreese. At least Carol was back.

        You struggled to find anything to be grateful for, anymore. Sure, you narrowly escaped the hungry bellies of the cannibals at Terminus, and sure you were still alive, but were you really living? Was dragging the worn boots Daryl had gifted you when life was more forgiving across cracked asphault while your stomach gnawed away at your insides really any kind of life? Sometimes you wondered what you pressed on for. Especially with Daryl so reserved and closed off like he was. The loss of Beth had done something to him that you couldn't fully relate to because you weren't with Beth after the prison, you escaped with Glenn and found yourself locked away in a dark train car by the time you finally reunited with Daryl.

        He had formed a sort of connection with her, something pure and protective, something that was shattered right before his eyes with a single gunshot. 

        You wished he'd just talk to you. Or touch you. Or even look at you. Was he so miserable he lost all interest? Surely not. He loved you. He told you so, the day he wound up in that train car with you.

        You shielded your eyes as a bright light filled the dark box that confined you. You were sure they were coming to finally kill you off or whatever it was they planned to do with you. 

        You had sustained an injury to your head in the struggle to round you all up, so you were admittedly out of it. It wasn't until you felt rough hands around your cheeks and heard the panic and relief in his voice that you really registered what was going on.

        "(Y/N)." He breathed as he planted a rough kiss on your forehead then your lips. "I thought you were dead. I love ya, ya hear me? I fuckin' love you."

        You may not have remembered much from your concussed state, and he may have never said it again, but that was a memory you held onto with every last bit of your strength. He loved you.  

        You knew he just needed some time, but you also knew you needed him. You were slipping away; losing hope. A simple touch could have made the difference of life or death for you at that point. 

        Then, it rained. It was welcome. Your dry cracked lips, burning throat, and aching organs were brought back to life as you caught the droplets on your tongue. When the thunder rumbled, Daryl urged you all to an old barn he had found off on his own. He did that often; going off on his own.

        The night was loud and it was hard to find any rest. The wind slapped the weathered wooden walls and seemingly shook the ground. The thunder was loud and frequent, bright flashes infiltrating the cracks and openings as the lightning grew closer. You tossed and turned a lot, only to eventually sit yourself up and rub your eyes. You jumped when your eyes readjusted to the darkness to see a looming figure before you.

        "Hey." He whispered. You blinked.

        "Hey." You whispered back. He stepped over and sat down beside you.

        "Y'alright?"  He asked.

        "Can't sleep." You shrugged, not looking at him.

        "Mm." He nodded. "Other than that."

        "Just... tired." Was all you managed. There wasn't enough time in a day -- or sleepless night -- to go through and examine your emotions enough to lay them all out flat for him. Plus, that was never really his strong suit. You two showed each other how you felt in place of saying it. You always had. Which was another reason it hurt you so bad for him to pull away. You knew if he was done with what you had, he'd never say it. He'd just let you figure it out on your own, and you'd never really know why.

        "That ain't it." He pointed out. "But it's okay. I know I ain't been much for talkin' lately. You don't gotta be, either."

        You were lost for words. Was this an attempt at letting you back in? At being close to you?

        "Anyway, I, uh.." He cleared his throat and glanced around, scanning through the dim light of the dying fire to ensure he hadn't woken anyone. "I just miss ya, is all."

        "Oh." You nodded. "Yeah. Me too." 

        "Look, I just needed to figure it out, ya know? Let myself feel it." He persisted. "After Beth... After everything, I just couldn't let myself. But now I did, and I need to say sorry."

        "I just didn't know if..."

        "Nah." He cut you off. "That wasn't on you. That was me. 'N' I'm sorry." 

        "It's okay." You placed a gentle hand on his knee. "I get it."

        Some moments passed in silence as you both felt devoid of anything to say. He cleared his throat again.

        "Can I stay with you?" He asked.

        "Yeah. Of course." You half smiled, even though he probably couldn't see. You shuffled over to a bed of old hay where you had laid out a jacket.

        He laid down, propping his arm under his head in place of a pillow, and your crawled down beside him, curling up into his side and taking a breath. He was ripe with a lack of access to hygiene, but then again, so were you, so you decided to enjoy the musk as a byproduct of his closeness.

        The longer you lay awake, feeling the warmth of his body, the more it hit you just how bad you needed him in such trying times. You realized then, more than ever, how bad you were craving his touch, his scent, his voice, his taste.

        You popped your head up and looked up at his face. It was shadowy and dark but you’d recognize his features in total darkness. He glanced down at you with a softness, wondering what you were about to  say.

         However, ‘saying’ wasn’t on your agenda. No, it was much more of a ‘doing’ that you had planned. 

         You stretched your neck out to kiss him on the jaw as his hand rested contently on the back of your head. He thought you were just being affectionate in the way that girlfriends did when they missed their man, and you were, but you had other things planned, too. As your lips planted little kisses along his jawline until they met his own, he relaxed into the semi-comfortable bed of hay. He figured whatever you were doing, was just your way of telling him you missed him. After all, you two always showed what you felt, and rarely said it. 

        When your lips met his you quietly climbed over top of him, straddling him as you depend the kiss. The more you touched him, the deeper you felt his absence since Grady. 

        You broke away for a breath and littered more sloppy kisses over his cheeks and neck, stopping somewhere in between to nibble at his earlobe. He groaned quietly under the weight of you and your affections, hoping you’d stop whatever you were doing soon, as the aching member in his jeans was already begging to be touched. Unfortunately, there was no end in sight to your erotic touches. As you shifted, your own wet heat glided over the bulge in his pants, and you realized you were succeeding in your mission. 

        You were downright needy for him, breathy whines escaping you as you grounded against him, rubbing your flat hands over his chest with hunger, catching his lips in yours between sucking and nibbling at the flesh of his neck. His hands gripped your thighs as you got hotter and hornier, quickly realizing he wasn’t getting out of this one. 

        When you pulled back again, flushed and sweaty already, you could barely see the glisten in his eyes as he stared back at you. Slowly, you leaned down to whisper in his ear; “Quiet, okay?” 

        He nodded once and you slowly slid down until your face was level with his waist. Slowly, silent as you could manage, you unbuttoned his jeans, unzipped them, and wiggled them down his thighs. He let out a small breath when you rigged his boxers down, cold air hitting his bare flesh. With one last glance up at his face, you smirked and turned your attention to his tip, gently licking and planting wet kisses all around it. 

        A pleasant “agh” escaped him, prompting you to take it a step further. You wrapped your juicy lips around his tip and slowly lowered yourself, bobbing up and down with no sense of haste. He tried desperately to suppress any vocalizations that may have been at bay, fearful he’d wake someone, especially Carl or baby Jude.

        It was painfully slow, the way you’d take him in further every so often, and when you finally met the base of him, he couldn’t suppress the groan. You quickly glanced around for any stirring bodies, and continued when you found none. Slow like a snail, gliding your lips and tongue up and down his length, hollowing out your cheeks to create a vacuum. You wanted him to understand what he was missing, what kind of bliss you could give him. You wanted him to feel your absence when he wasn’t around, just like you did his.

        Soon enough he was throbbing in your mouth, his hips uncontrollably jerking. He was close. You debated whether or not to take it all the way or leave him begging for more. You opted to give him some relief, given the miserable circumstances of your lives. 

        You took all of him at once, his load spilling into the back of your throat and dripping down. You stayed like that for a moment, barely bobbing back and forth, allowing him to ride his high and come back down. 

        You wiped your mouth and grinned at him as you pulled away. With your help, he shimmied his pants back up and secured the button. You took your place beside him once again, snuggling up close, your head rested between his chest and shoulder. 

        He took a few minutes to recover before he used two fingers to guide your jaw up so he could place a gentle kiss on your swollen lips. He moved his kissed over your cheek and to your ear and whispered, “Quiet, okay?”

        You bit your lip and smiled as he carefully slid his fingers in your jeans and traced one across your slit, starting at your entrance and ending at your clit. Deciding his big hand wouldn’t have enough room in your buttoned jeans, he went ahead and unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down to allow more movement. 

        With that out of the way, he could work delicately on your sweet spots, gently dragging his finger up and down your slit to get it nice and wet. All the while, you were biting down on your lip trying to keep quiet. He noticed the way your hips with try to follow his finger when it moved up. You wanted him inside you, so he’d give it to you. 

        He slid his middle finger inside you and pumped it in and out a few times, laying a free hand over your mouth to make sure your sounds could be muffled. Your eyes fluttered at the sensation of his calloused skin massaging your insides, effortlessly finding that one spot that made you weak. His thumb found your clit as he fingered you, rubbing little circles, eliciting a small moan. He paused and gave you a look, reminding you where you were. You nodded, letting him know you understood, and he continued. A trembling breath released from your nose, his other hand still over your mouth, as he slipped a second finger inside and continued massaging your g-spot and rubbing your clit.

        As he settled into a rhythm, your body responded. You rocked your hips with his movements, communicating to him to keep up what he was doing. He understood. He always understood you.

        In no time at all, all that pent up frustration and aches for his touch finally heated to a boiling point, and you spilled over. Your body and voice trembled as you shook and rode your orgasm on his fingers. When your body calmed and you flinched at his touch, he pulled his hand away and buttoned you back up. He relaxed again, triumphant this time, and you curled up close to him and drifted to sleep in an instant. 

        Daryl was the first to wake the next morning, but given your position sprawled across him, you were quick to get up with him. The two of you went outside to assess the storm damage. Trees had fallen in the night, narrowly missing the barn itself. You made small talk as you wandered the area, occasionally taking out a stray walker. When you went back inside, hand in hand, the rest of the group was awake and shuffling around. Maggie was the first to notice the way Daryl held your hand so casually, then Sasha, then Glenn and the rest. Nobody knew what to say, but they all stared and exchanged glances amongst each other. Daryl shifted a tad, uncomfortable with the sudden attention, but he braved his anxieties and stood firmly beside you. He cleared his throat. 

         “Damage is pretty bad out there. ‘S a miracle then damn trees didn’t fall right on us.” He said.

        “Huh.” Rick hummed, nodding, still perplexed. He nodded down at your hand entwined with Daryl’s and raised his eyebrows. 

        “Oh.” Daryl shrugged, holding your hands up and looking down at them. He realized the two do you never really established a relationship, especially not completely openly. He figured the way he told you he loved you back in that train car at Terminus would have been a dead giveaway, but tensions were high back then. Maybe it went unnoticed. He shrugged again. “Yeah.” 

        You stifled a laugh and shook your head. Your family all smirked and smiled sweetly, but didn’t press further, save for Carol, who spoke in a ‘told you so’ kind of tone. “It’s about time you two quit playing footsies and took things to the next level.” 

Masterlist // Taglist

tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader @ryoujoking @blackvelveteen1339 @yondus-girl @ladylincoln @sunshinebug9 @saylum559 @yoowhatthefuck @duffmckagansbandana @celtic-crossbow @virginsexgod69 @dazzling-roaring-20s @l0kilaufeys0n7 @uhnanix

[cloveroctobers]

string of lights — 4. Armando Aretas [Winter Prompts]

A/N: The list keeps on growing for this man but I couldn’t help but to imagine what he would be like during the Christmas season…yet it’s never that simple with me ofc! Also never watched Vikings a day in my life so I’m not entirely sure how Travis’ character is but I’ve seen enough TikTok’s on him outside of his character lol so this is more oc than anything and I thought it would be fun to throw a little connection in there. Hope you like 🤍

PROMPT IS FROM HERE & I’m using: SITUATIONS — We broke up and I'm asking someone else to go home with me for the holidays because I know my ex will be there with someone + DIALOGUE PROMPTS — “I'm not drunk!" // "Oh yeah? Then why are your eyes crossed?”

WARNINGS: ended up longer than intended, language, heartbreak, corny Christmas one liners, one night stand + slight intimate scene.

<- read my previous anthology winter prompt here.

⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊

She warned you.

She meaning Kelly.

Kelly warned you that Armando would be here with his supposed ex fiancée and you’ve never known Kelly to be a liar. In fact, you considered her a friend outside of AMMO and her blunt nature could be harsh majority of the time but you can always trust her to give it to you straight. It was simple over text but she knew already before you responded that you needed an explanation, which later resulted in her sending over a voice message about ten minutes later—she got distracted okay!

You already had a sense of dread going to Christine’s annual Christmas party (it was mostly for charity) single because who really wants to be single on the holiday’s? but you made a promise that you would show your face. You never broke a promise, this many knew. Yet you couldn’t say the same for your ex. Now that Armando was parading his ex in your face, the same ex from Mexico City, that he decided not to tell you about because his past life was meant to be kept there although you got a pretty good glimpse of it, that relationship was actually some sort of arranged marriage (that Isabel set up) until she mysteriously disappeared, yeah that ex was also going to be in attendance.

It left a nasty taste in your mouth but you didn’t want to be the bitter one. You could hold a grudge and be in your feelings but why did that have to automatically mean you were bitter? Angry and hurt, sure but bitter? Just felt misplaced. There was nothing else to talk about, Armando made his decision to want to explore what that relationship could be like again, like you were supposed to be put back on the shelf and sit pretty until Armando was ready to try again when it didn’t work out.

Notice how you said when?

You were never going to be someone’s second option.

Especially not to someone who claimed they would die for you and without you.

Armando’s dark eyes were burning into you from across the hall but the more cranberry martini’s you threw back, his stare honestly just felt like a gnat you would have to lightly fan away. So you angled your body in your fancy party dress so your gaze wouldn’t dare look his way over your shoulder, further tuning into the conversation with Dorn’s cousin, Ronan Steffensen, who told you that he could basically be Dorn’s father—followed by a eye roll from the blond—with how involved he was in Dorn’s upbringing.

“Yeah, I always could tolerate you much better than Jax.” Dorn called over his shoulder, referring to Ronan’s younger brother, as Kelly pulled him away to mainly dance but to leave you alone to engage with Dorn’s cousin, with a wink tossed your way.

It was honorable how Dorn spoke so highly of the guy and now you can put the name to the face. You wished he would have put you on sooner but…there’s no time like the present! Ronan had the brightest of blues that no frame of glasses could shield with a hint of mischief in them the longer you stared. A hour and half had passed since you two got introduced but the conversation never got boring.

Armando can tell you were enjoying yourself. You barely acknowledged him when Detective Lowrey called you over after your attempt to sneak on by. His own low lidded eyes lifted a bit in annoyance at his…father trying to force you two to play nice. Working together was tense enough but regardless when things got hectic, the both of you would always look out for one another.

“Thanks for that back there.” Armando walked behind, butt of the sniper resting against his shoulder as the both of you made your way back to the van a few nights back.

He knew how much you weren’t a fan of weaponry, preferring hand to hand combat more than anything but in a case like this, where Armando let his guard slip in search of you through the smog, you landed a single bullet to the neck of your opponent, slightly clipping the tip of Armando’s ear in the process.

You scoff, “No need to thank me. That’s part of the job, watch your back and hope you watch mine in return.”

He blinks with a slight frown, “Of course I would. I’m just acknowledging what you did back there for me.”

“Mhm.” You exhale, fighting the urge to not roll your eyes. You couldn’t even lie and say that part of it wasn’t for him.

Armando was the one that was always a person of few words and he hated that he was getting this from you so he starts, “Look—

You shake your head, “Let’s just continue doing what we need to do so you can get back to Priscilla.”

Armando winced from behind you as you nearly spit out the woman’s name but you didn’t see that, “Y/N.”

“Armando. You should get your ear checked out when we get back.” You hissed with the back of your hand facing him, which meant you were done talking, and Armando took the hint, deciding not to press you.

Tonight was different.

Whereas Armando was supposed to be enjoying the party, he kept moving around the supposed hall, which was actually more of a mansion, zoning out of conversations to keep his eye on you and Dorn’s older cousin.

“I can give you something else to look at,” Priscilla purs as she stands in her tassled low-cut red dress, tucked underneath Armando’s shoulder.

He hums, slowly bringing his eyes to meet her green ones, not hiding that he had been caught.

“If you’re going to stare at her the whole night, you might as well tell her to come home with us instead of with Dorn’s primo.”

His jaw sets at the mention of you going home with someone else but he knows deep deeep down he doesn’t have the right.

“You decide what you want to do.” She runs her finger up his chest before sharply gripping his tightened jaw, her pointed acrylics digging into his flesh, “but don’t you dare embarrass me.”

Which means what exactly?

“Kinda like how you left me in the dark about your whereabouts…how long ago?” Armando easily furrowed his brows at the audacity of this woman.

“That’s just business baby, don’t act like you don’t know how it is.” She dismissed, which made Armando scowl as she began to strut away.

The night went on but Armando knew to keep his distance. From overly invasive questions from colleagues of Christine’s, who were just dying to know how a old cartel member with a highly respectable birth father for a detective managed to turn his life around for the better, to the overflow of the awful peppermint desserts, spiked hot chocolate, to trying to keep his eyes off of you and Ronan but didn’t falter when Ronan caught him and you attempted to be oblivious as you now held onto his arm like you were suddenly a couple now, to ignoring Priscilla’s advances for a quickie in one of the marble bathrooms, being disgusted by the white powder on her nose which definitely wasn’t her makeup, to small chatter with AMMO and Reggie, telling both Mike and Marcus to butt out on them checking up on him in regards to you, which resulted in Marcus threatening to stick his size 10 up his ass if he didn’t fix his behavior, all Armando could do was smirk at his new uncle, showing him that he wasn’t the least bit threatened, and to finally almost getting in Dorn’s face about bringing more than a plus one to this event.

Armando had to collect himself, straightening out Dorn’s business casual attire, “…My bad bro. I just…need a minute.”

“Well take one.” Kelly snaps, ready to shove Armando her damn self.

Dorn, always the one to give people the benefit of the doubt and diffuse his fiery girlfriend says, “Kelly,” he warns before turning his gaze to Armando who rubs at his face, “What was that about? Do you need to talk?”

“No. Definitely not.” Armando scowls, growing more iritated that people were concerned about his well-being when he said he was fine many times.

His eyes find you making your way out of the room towards the gigantic red and gold covered tree in the lobby that made you appear so tiny. He could tell from across the room that you were wobbly in your heels and sensed that you were leaving. His eyes quickly searched for Mike who sipped from his drink, eyes already peering at his son from underneath his eyelashes. A dip of his head to Armando makes him aware that you already had said your goodbyes for the night.

“Armando…let it go.” Dorn calls out, careful not to touch him but his hands were open as if he was ready to guard him.

Armando side eyed the blond as he pointed at the couple, “You two were trying to distract me.”

“Oh, boo-hoo! She deserves a good lay for the holidays and since you broke her heart like the dissociative asshole you are, Dorn and I decided to give her a gift of our own.” Kelly sends a smug smile his way, crossing her arms.

Armando flares his nostrils.

Dorn shakes his head at the Filipina before turning back to his team member, “That wasn’t exactly my plan. I actually didn’t have a plan really. Ronan’s in town and he didn’t have anything going on tonight so I thought why not—

Kelly shushed him, “Dorn baby, you don’t need to explain yourself to him.”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Armando exclaimed, making the dark haired woman tilt her head.

“Hey.” Dorn cuts in as he notices some attendees whip their head at Armando’s language and also because he didn’t appreciate how Armando was speaking to Kelly, “Let’s be chill here.”

“Chill about what? You setting my girl up with some bozo who can’t even see how many fingers I’m holding up?”

Dorn frowns as Kelly lets out humorless laughter, knuckles going back to knock against her boyfriend’s chest, “Did you hear that? Armando still thinks he gets a say in what y/n does. Isn’t your fiancée around here somewhere? Or is she taking another bump of snow in one of the many corners of this place?”

Armando didn’t know why he was wasting more time going back and forth with Kelly. She often had no issue saying what was on her mind and right to Armando’s face, making them butt heads often but she was a helluva weapons expert and ultimately a good friend to you.

So he walks off, making Kelly also stalk after him but Dorn grips her wrist and shakes his head at her, deciding for the both of them that they’ve done enough tonight.

When Armando catches up to you, you’re staring up at the lights, a goofy smile on your face, and it sounds like you’re humming along to one of the sickening Christmas instrumentals, until a glare hits your face, getting a sense of Armando beside you.

“Leaving so soon?” Armando questions, clapping his hands behind his back, “The night is still young.”

You throw your head back as you laugh, “Of course it is, which is why it’s continuing…at my place.” You whisper the last bit as if it’s a secret.

“You’re not driving.” Armando states.

You snort, “Its not your business but I’ve got a beautiful man who’s gonna keep me entertained. I’ll be a passenger princess tonight. He should be coming back from the bathroom any minute.” Which was ironic as you unintentionally tell him, searching your satin clutch to reapply your plum colored gloss to your lips.

Armando flicks his eyes from your lips up to your face, “You’re drunk.” He sighs.

“I’m not drunk!” You yell while trying to roll your eyes and pluck your lipgloss back into your bag but you miss as it clutters to the linoleum floor.

Armando saves you the trouble of bending down, picking it up for you so you wouldn’t tumble over. You snatch it from his grasp as he says, “Oh yeah, Then why are your eyes crossed?”

You laugh, resting a hand against your cheek, “B-being worried about me is funny when you weren’t worried about me when you decided to leave me in t-t-the dust for the chica who belongs in whoville! Don’t worry though, Ronan will probably make my vision worse…and I’m not talking about stealing his glasses off his handsome face. So you can go now, I’ll be warm enough tonight.”

A clearing of a throat interupts your stare off and Armando’s stare turns heated as Ronan stands behind you two. You don’t even waste time, not wanting the two to chat as you let out a sigh, arms wrapping around his neck, as his hands rest on the big white bow on the back of your dress. Ronan is all grins as well, his hand going up in the air to wave at Armando as you practically drag him away into the night.

Now it was Armando’s turn to feel a nasty taste in his own mouth as he watches you two leave.

⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊

⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊

⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊

Although you were drunk, somewhere in your mind you managed not to scream Armando’s name once Ronan got inside you. He wasn’t Armando at all but he still knew what he was doing. You had no doubts in your mind with a man like this as you sat on his lap, his hand guiding you by the jaw so your lips could reconnect.

His glasses were so fogged up that you just decided to do the honors of taking them off his face as you sat on his lap. The both of you tasted like liquor and that was enough courage for the both of you to tis’ the season. You knew what it was as the night carried on at Christine’s party and after you let it slip to Ronan that you wanted to snatch Armando’s eyes out of his damn skull, he left the floor open for you to give a rundown of what happened.

Ronan had no problem accepting taking you home tonight in hopes that you could forget about Armando but that didn’t work out in your favor. You should have known better, Armando was your person and Ronan would just be for the night. You bit down on the tip of your tongue so hard that you should have had your own source of cranberry dripping from it as Ronan gave one last thrust up into you, finishing last by being the gentleman that he is, then one of his hands drags the rest of your ripped tights down your lower legs, before trailing his finger up your thigh, and nipping at your bottom lip.

“Wow…who knew you had it in you?” You joked, staring up into the blues through half lidded eyes.

He’s laughing against your mouth, “Joy to the world and all that is what they say, babe.”

You roll your eyes before pecking his lips once more.

He doesn’t stay and it doesn’t bother you as you manage to get into your lengthy night routine and being a giggly mess you order from doordash from two places, deciding to surprise yourself. You’re just about to doze off on your couch when knocks on the door and ringing of the door bell manages to wake you. Groaning you get to your feet, dragging yourself to the door and yank it open.

It’s Armando standing in your illuminated doorway, still dressed in his christmas wear from the party.

“You’re not doordash…don’t tell me you’re some sort of porch pirate?” You lean against the door, blocking his way in, still trying to sober up despite being in cozy wear and showcasing glass skin—for the next twelve hours that is—your skin has a mind of her own.

Armando scoffs, hand going to push the door back but you held on for a bit, which makes the bearded man quirk up a brow. “Let me in, mami. We need to talk…the only way I can get my mind right is if we have a convo.”

“Sounds more like you wanted to interrupt.”

Armando dips his head at your accusation, “Who’s to say his body isn’t already in the dumpster in the alley?”

Scrunching up your summerfridays covered lips you rasp, “…that’s not very jolly of you, ya know?”

“Y/n.”

You sigh, stepping back from the door and allowing Armando in, knowing this would probably be a mistake but instantly felt your heart race as he strolled around your penthouse. The curtains are wide open, showing the view of the city lights in various shades of white and rainbow.

He’s leaning against the window, legs crossed at the ankle as Armando rests his forehead against the cool of glass. Slowly closing his eyes, he exhales, while you try to roll the tension out of your neck, folding your arms as you awaited for him to say what he needed to say so you can kick him right out.

“Is Priscilla slumped out in the passenger seat or something…I don’t know why you’re here?” You begin, the drumming of your heart was getting too loud in the quiet of your home and Armando’s presence was the cause of that.

He rolls his eyes and steps back from the glass, which makes you feel a bit better since you always hated when he looked out into Miami like this. It was humorous, you being afraid of heights but snagged you a spot on one of the highest levels in the building. Sometimes he likes to do it just to work your nerves but tonight he needed strength from the lights that guided him here.

Armando clasps his hands in front of him, which lets you know he’s in serious mode, “We don’t gotta talk about her.”

“But we need to talk about Ronan?” You fired off.

His nostrils flare as he exhaled, “He ain’t important either. You’re a free woman and you’re open to do what you want…but don’t think for a second it’s gonna continue.”

“Oh?” You push your lips out in confusion, “You want to play mind games right now? You can let yourself out cause I’m not doing this with you.”

You make your way over to your couch, plopping down and search for your phone to check the ETA on your late night dinner.

“I said we should talk.” Armando restates while he plops right down on your coffee table, sitting in front of you so you had no choice but to meet his eyes, “…I realized that I really didn’t want to go home to Priscilla and not just tonight.”

“Because she represents everything that you’ve tried…for the most part…to leave in the rearview.” You answer as you tap your chin, “Sounds like something I said to you a minute ago huh?”

“I fucked up,” Armando admits with a nod of his head, “And I’m not gonna ask for you take me back because I know I don’t deserve it, not when it seems like I just dropped you like you dont mean the world to me.”

A tongue goes into your cheek, “If this is how you treat your world…I hate to see what your hell looks like.”

He’s quick with it, “I’m living it, without you.”

“I can’t tell.”

“You know me better than you think.” Armando tells, “I felt like I owed it to myself to just see if something was still there. Cilly and I—we had a connection.”

You pointed out, “That your mother set up.”

“Sure but we’ve leaned on each other with our struggles.”

“And that’s love?” You quizzed.

“I never said it was love. Just that we care for each other…had a partnership.”

You sigh, “I thought we had something special too once.”

“I’m in love with you, mami.” Armando stares hard at you, pressing his elbows into his knees as if to get closer to you but still respecting your space, “So much that it hurts to breathe…which I’ve never felt before in my life…and I didn’t just end up here because of my ego. I ended up here because I can’t go any more nights missing you. I’m sorry for picking my past over my priority.”

At a loss for words, you felt blood rushing to your face and possibly tears on the inside. You weren’t really an emotional drunk, more of a hungry and horny type and you aren’t sure if you wanted to remember any of this in the morning. Armando really hurt you good and to hear him say this while the room was spinning like a carousel, to be so vulnerable when he was used to being a shell, meant a lot.

Feeling like you would crumble, you just sink back into the couch, staring at him with glossy eyes. His hand goes to your knee, you don’t move and your eyes close. His touch seemed to only make your heart drum harder. Sweet words can mean anything but actions were always louder.

Maybe Armando did come to you by some unforeseen light. When your eyes opened to meet his, you saw him in a whole new one, a complex man that you were willing to love once upon a time.

Now it was up to you to choose what you would do with this.

Keep the lights on, let them flicker, or…simply unplug them.

⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊ ⋆⑅˚₊

Continue with my winter anthology prompts here.

[tickettride]

I’ve just seen a face || J.D.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

pairing is johnny davis x f!reader

in which the man you've been staring at all night long at a party meets you in the kitchen, and suggests to walk you out where it's safer. the only danger is not being able to stop kissing him.

word count: 2k

warnings: 18+ (mdni), alcohol, mention of weed, men being creeps, smoking, sexual tension, kissing and a touch of fluff?, "girls are prettier without glasses" speech (ugh), maybe a few mistakes and nonsense

AN: I can’t believe I've spent a whole afternoon on this. anyway, this is a gift for myself as I’ve spent my first day at my dream college, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. And yes, I love very long gifs.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. — The Picture of Dorian Gray

 

Johnny’s lips hovered over yours, mixing his warm breath with your shaky exhales. You had never felt so connected to another human being before. Never felt your soul leaving your body that way. And here you were now, nose-to-nose with a man you didn't even know.

A deep, unwavering sexual tension had tethered you to Johnny for hours. Even since you had stepped into the house, actually. It had been hard to see right through the smoke, even more since you had decided to ditch your glasses for the night, just for the experience. Well, it had been a fucking mistake. All the faces were blurry, and you swore you introduced yourself twice to the same people, all of them hoisting their beer and exchanging looks you didn't quite understand.

It doesn’t matter, your friends told you. They won’t remember anything the next morning. You supposed it was a relief, to think people would forget about you in just a few hours. At least until you saw that guy who had been standing in a corner the whole time. 

No, not a guy. A real man, with broad shoulders and a certain way of carrying himself. Even from across the room, you knew he was respected.

It had taken you longer than necessary to reach the kitchen behind a group of wobbly men, bumping into shoulders and apologizing inaudibly. Someone talked to you but you barely paid any attention, giving a small "okay" instead as you focused on getting to the kitchen in one piece.

Rubbing your eyelid tiredly, you nearly scratched your eye out when a hand closed around your wrist, though it felt warm and gentle.

“Hey.”

The man from the corner was looking down at you, worry flickering in his eyes. So close to you, he was even more handsome. Full lips, a face that carried memories. Clearly, he had seen a lot.

“Ya need help?”

“No?” You dragged the syllable, confused as you shot a look at your friends. The three of them had crashed on a couch, their loud laughter drawing attention. You might have looked drunk though, you gave him that. “I’m just headin’ for the kitchen. Gotta drink some water before I start feelin’ all…”

Your vague hand motion made his lips twitch in amusement, which pulled a smile to your lips too. It slightly faded when he removed his hand from you, and you turned back around.

So he had noticed you.

A strong scent of alcohol and weed burned your nostrils when you walked over to the sink, your eyes sweeping over the room to find where the glasses were stocked. Littered cups filled with some sort of alcohol mix had your nose wrinkled up at the smell, wondering what was wrong with those people. Did they really enjoy drinking this? Finally, stacked glasses that seemed clean enough caught your eyes.

And now that same man was standing at the threshold.

“I’m old enough to be left on my own, y'know," you said sarcastically, almost nervous to be left alone with him. Was he one of the creeps? Or just a man bored to death?

In response, he nodded like you had made a great point. “Just don’t want ya to feel unsafe, is all.”

You shrugged, retrieving a glass, checking it was somewhat clean, and filling it with water. “I know how to throw a punch. I've been taught the basics.”

“Show me, then.”

The three words made your heartbeat faster. With your free hand, you closed your fist, barely thinking. 

“Nah. Ya’d break your thumb like that.”

Your gaze flitted to your hand for a second. “Yeah. Probably.”

Another nod was addressed to you, and a moment of silence wrapped you both in a comfortable bubble. You drank the water silently while he kept his eyes on you, which would have looked truly odd did he not seem safe. He looked exhausted, though. Maybe a bit entertained. Maybe like he’d been waiting for someone like you to light up his evening.

“I’m Johnny.”

You gave your name back, watching his smile that definitely shouldn’t have caused a hot nudge in your lower body, considering he would surely move on from you the next day.

Still, the tension choked you as he stepped further into the room, picking up a bottle of beer in a bucket. Your hand tightened against the glass when you opened your mouth to ask where he was from–the usual small talk you used when silence made you uneasy–and instantly closed it as two bearded men barged in, ruining the moment.

“I say, "You ain’t goin’ nowhere, motherfucker",” the first one spat, waving a gun in the air. “I captured you.”

Swallowing thickly at the sight of the small handgun, you set the glass back down into the sink and glanced over at Johnny. Your senses returned to you enough to do some calculations. From what you could see, you could slip beside him and make your way back to your friends swiftly. But those two creeps had spotted you, standing there like an outsider or just a woman, and nerves started filling your body as you hyped yourself up to take the few steps toward freedom. There was no way you were staying there to risk being shot accidentally. What a stupid end that would make.

Johnny’s brow furrowed at those guys and back at you, sensing your discomfort. He tipped the drink to his mouth, taking a long sip as you took a deep breath. 

“I think I’ll head out,” you announced quietly, ignoring the men’s hot gazes on your back.

It was a shame to leave so fast, but maybe you just weren’t meant to be talking to Johnny. You believed in all that stuff fiercely.

Johnny’s head turned around, watching behind him before meeting your eyes again. “I can’t see your friends.”

“Oh, they must be smokin’ somewhere out there.”

Giving a small nod, he stepped closer to you and left his beer near the sink. “I’ll walk ya out.”

You cleared your throat, trying to alleviate the lump forming from the thoughts racing through your brain. His hand settled on your lower back as he guided you to the back door, and you didn’t think once. Perhaps you'd finally have that time alone with him, after all. He didn’t look like he wanted to leave either.

The cold breeze hit you in the face as you squinted through the darkness, praying hard not to fall or trip or do anything embarrassing in front of him. And that was exactly what you did. The couple of stairs were poorly lighted, and there was only one idiot to miss that one step. You.

“Shit,” you stumbled, chuckling awkwardly when you felt Johnny’s hand on your waist, making sure you were not collapsing.

“Alright?”

“Yeah,” you replied quickly, unable to stop yourself from smiling. 

Maybe it was his big hands on you, or maybe it was just the one beer you had drunk, but the wind seemed less cold, less aggressive on your skin. God, he looked so... attractive.

A small smile graced his lips as he gazed down at you, almost checking you out. “Should’ve slowed down on the beers.”

Another giggle escaped your lips, trying not to shrink under his gaze. “It’s not about the beers, promise. I just can’t see nothin’ without my glasses.”

“You lost ‘em?” Johnny asked, a wrinkle appearing between his brows. 

“No. Um… I’ve been told girls are prettier without glasses.”

He made a sound. Kept frowning. That was your cue to blabber on. 

“Not that I found myself… unattractive. I just thought I could try one night without wearin' them. Which was really stupid, considerin’ I’ve almost died at least twice.”

You pursued your lips as you caught a whiff of his scent on his leather jacket, willing yourself to shut up and flee. As you were supposed to. And yet, as dumb as you sounded, Johnny’s eyes were fixed on yours and did not leave for a moment. He was listening carefully, blocking out the world to hear your silly explanation. 

“You’re not unattractive,” he said in a low voice. "I bet they make ya look even prettier."

“How would you know?” your tone matched his, your blood heating another degree. 

Johnny came closer, raising his hands to run his thumbs above your cheeks, where your glasses usually fell. His eyes were ringed with dark circles, but they were beautiful. Dark. Full of fantasies. 

“Just imaginin’,” his raspy voice sent a hot shiver down your spine. "I've been lookin' at ya since you walked in, but I hadn’t noticed those freckles right there."

Your heart hammered in your chest. It was all going so fast, but the mere thought of slowing things down was absurd. You couldn’t think of anything but feeling his lips on yours. Moving your body with his. Feeling so wanted he might die, and you as well. You usually were careful and rather shy when it came to flirting, but why would you resist the temptation now?

The party didn’t matter. The people out there didn’t matter. Hell, even your friends didn’t matter. It was only you and the man you had checked out (ogled) all night, the man who had made sure you were feeling safe, the man who had caught you in his arms like they did in the movies. 

It did feel like a movie anyway. None of this felt real. 

“I can’t see much, but you look pretty attractive too,” you dared to say, though you wished you had sounded bolder. 

His lips nearly touched yours. The top of your noses did, causing you to chuckle. What was even happening?

“See me better now?” Johnny muttered, angling his face.

"Much better."

"Good."

You had known a few men, kissed a few of them, but nothing had ever come close to this particular moment. Nothing had ever felt so exciting, so hot and passionate. You didn’t want him to forget you. Fuck, you were sure you would think of these minutes until your last breath. You needed to have him, even for a short moment.

Nose-to-nose with a man you didn't even know.

“Johnny?”

“Mmm?”

“I’m gonna kiss you now.”

Emboldened by his widening smile, you closed what little distance was left between your mouths and pressed a soft kiss against his lips, just testing the waters. You hadn’t expected it to feel that good. Like a taste of heaven. Gripping his shoulders, you drew yourself high against his chest and slipped your tongue into his mouth, a tiny sound mixing with a groan of his. His hands pressed against your back, holding your waist like a fragile doll as yours slid to the back of his head. Fuelled by the need to make him moan again, you wrapped both arms up around his neck until you were shamelessly making out on the grass, wishing he could do something to alleviate the burning in your body. It was bewitching.

You were out of breath when you landed on your feet again, as though you had just taken a trip to the stars for a minute. Clearly, Johnny was as dazed as you were. 

Looking over his shoulder, you found no less than ten faces peering out the window, and a couple more watching from the front porch. Smoking. You bet your friends had seen it all. 

“Shit,” you whispered, at a loss for words. 

Johnny ran his thumb over your lip, his eyes tracing his own movements as he did. ‘Tell me where ya live.”

Forgetting everything about the safety rules you had always followed when it came to men, you whispered, “Next to the shoe store. I work there on weekends.”

The detail had slipped out, but you just wished he would suggest picking you up someday. Don’t let him forget you, your brain kept saying. You couldn’t be anticipating the saddest goodbye of your life yet.

“You’re workin’ tomorrow?”

A bit of hope flickered in your chest. Men usually fucked off after getting what they wanted, but he seemed really into you. That was unreal.

“Tomorrow’s Friday,” you grinned playfully, chuckling as he nodded. 

"Tomorrow’s Friday," Johnny repeated, realizing his mistake. "Guess I don’t wanna spend one day waitin’ to see ya again."

“Me either,” you admitted lowly, removing a strand of hair sticking to your lips. “You can—you can still come on Saturday, if you want to.”

“You’ve been on a motorcycle before?” 

You shook your head, wondering why you felt so bashful all of a sudden. Johnny’s lips curved at your hesitancy, holding your gaze for a moment. His eyes full of promises again.

“Hmm. Ya should leave before I keep ya out here with me,” he declared, snapping you out of your thoughts as he squeezed your hip gently and stepped backward. 

And with that, the moment was gone.

“Saturday, then?” you asked, just to make sure. 

You sounded almost desperate, but you couldn’t care. There was something scary about being so attracted to someone so fast. What if a simple change of heart left you heartbroken?

“Saturday,” Johnny confirmed, making it sound like it was years away. 

You dropped your gaze for a second and raised it again to look at him one last time, the steadying sounds of your breathings filling the cold air. Johnny broke the eye-contact to check that your friends were still standing in the distance.

“Ya need help walkin’ over there?”

The question made you smile. “I’ll be alright. I’ll try to walk in a straight line and avoid people."

Johnny’s stare could have been a good reason to stay with him and let him keep you, but after a second of hesitancy, you willed yourself to utter a small ‘Well, see you, then’. You made a beeline to your friends, blinking a couple of times as though your vision would become clear again. 

You shot one look behind. Johnny was waiting for you to reach the others, not moving.

They all shouted in your ear when you stepped on the tiled floor, but you weren’t listening. Just thinking of how fast it all could change when you least expected it. You weren't fully sure he'd really show up in two days, so you crossed your fingers during the whole ride back home and hoped he wouldn't forget. You were already longing for this man’s touch.

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY INTERVIEWED BY DECIDER MAGAZINE.

I THINK THE MOST WHOLESOME AEGON MOMENT EVER WAS WHEN SUNFYRE GREETED HIM BEFORE ROOK'S REST. KIND OF LIKE A DOG NUZZLING ITS OWNER. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE BOND BETWEEN AEGON AND HIS DRAGON AND WHAT IT MEANS TO HIM?

"I think you’ve just done it very well."

"I think it is like a dog and his owner."

"It was interesting."

"My dad was talking to me about how that scene was very touching and stuff."

And I was just like, 'You know what? You know what I felt when we did it on that day?'

"When the amazing puppeteers came over with the big, blue dragon head that would later be CGI-ed into Sunfyre."

"The way they were moving and breathing with this big piece of set was just like, it just reminded me of my dog, Ziggy."

"So, yeah, I fully leant into that and imagined it was him nuzzling me in the chest."

"And he’s sat with me right now, and that’s how it felt on the day."

"So, yeah, I’m glad that came across."

SUNFYRE IS CONSIDERED DEAD NOW IN THE STORY, BUT IN THE BOOKS, AT LEAST, A HUGE TURNING POINT FOR YOUR CHARACTER DOWN THE ROAD IS WHEN HE'S REUNITED WITH SUNFYRE. ARE YOU HOPEFUL THAT WILL INDEED PLAY OUT IN THE SHOW? AND WHAT DO YOU THINK A REUNION LIKE THAT COULD MEAN TO AEGON?

"Oh, we’ll see."

"Well, I’m not sure."

"I’m not sure."

"I mean, that’s not up to me either, is it?"

"But, yeah, that would be lovely."

"It would be lovely."

"I think it’s important for a dragonrider to have a dragon with them and have a companion in that sense."

"Yeah, there’s just that sort of extra connection, that sort of deeper connection that you have with your dragon, in the same way that you have with your dog, than with all human beings."

"Your dog knows so much more about you than most humans do."

"[Laughs] So, yeah, I think it’s the same thing."

WHEN I SPOKE TO MATTHEW NEEDHAM BEFORE THE SEASON BEGAN, HE HAD MENTIONED THAT HE HAD ALWAYS FELT THAT LARYS AND AEGON WERE CONNECTED IN THE SHOW AT LITTLE AEGON'S NAME DAY. NOW I'M CURIOUS. BECAUSE RIGHT NOW LARYS IS KIND OF AEGON'S ONLY FRIEND, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS BONDING THESE CHARACTERS FROM AEGON'S PERSPECTIVE?

"Yeah, I think there’s definitely common ground with Aegon and Larys."

"There’s now this shared experience of being, you know, physically impaired."

"This is something that Larys has had to live with his entire life, but it is very new to Aegon."

"So any advice or any talks or anything like that that Larys has to give Aegon, Aegon is listening to him."

"For the first time in a long time, he’s listening to somebody and trusting them."

"Aegon feels like Larys has Aegon’s best interests at heart."

"Yes, there may be some personal gains eventually, but for now Larys seems legitimate and like he will actually help Aegon help in his pursuit to survive and thrive."

"I was talking to somebody before about it, and I’m saying, out of all the bad options that are sort of laid in front Aegon at the moment, this seems to be the least damaging and most likely to help them survive a little bit longer."

YOU MENTIONED AEGON'S PHYSICAL IMPAIRMENT. OVER THE WEEKS, WE'VE SEEN JUST VARIOUS STAGES OF MAKEUP ON AEGON, AS HE'S BEEN IMMEDIATELY IN THE AFTERMATH, AND NOW HE'S BEEN IMPROVING. WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO DEAL WITH ALL THE PROSTHETICS? HOW DID IT CHANGE FROM WEEK TO WEEK? AND DID YOU HAVE A FAVORITE OR LEAST FAVORITE LOOK?

"I mean, for a start, it was an experience I’ve never had before."

"Being clad in all that prosthetic, it takes a lot of time."

"It takes a lot of patience from the artists themselves and a lot of skill."

"I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you know, I get the easy job."

"I just have to sit there and have it put on me in bed."

"People are getting up at ridiculous hours of the morning and preparing everything even before I arrive."

"Then once I’m sat in the chair, they spend six to seven hours applying it."

"At which time, I get to fall asleep or read a book or listen to a podcast."

"I get the easy side of things, but, yeah, it’s definitely an experience I’ve not had before."

DID YOU SAY IT WAS SIX TO SEVEN HOURS?

"Yeah, sometimes."

"That’s my least favorite part of it, the amount of time spent in the chair."

"But also, it does get quicker as the healing process improves."

"For example, like the initial burns where the armor was being peeled out and you could see, you know, torso, arm, face, neck, all that… That was six to seven hours."

"Really raw burns."

"But as that starts to heal, we shaved a couple of hours off it."

YEAH, ONE DETAIL THAT TOOK ME BY SURPRISE IN THE FINALE WAS TO REVEAL THAT AEGON LOST A KEY PART OF HIS MANHOOD IN THE FIRE. SO AT WHAT POINT DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS AN ELEMENT TO HIS INJURIES? AND HOW DRASTICALLY DOES THAT CHANGE HOW HE SEES HIMSELF?

"[Chuckles] Yeah, yeah."

"What a shame."

YEAH, HIS POOR PENIS. I WAS LIKE, 'OH NO!'

"Understatement of the year! I first realized that was a part of his injuries in the read-through week."

"[Both laugh.] Around the table with everybody."

"So that was interesting."

"Actually, you know what? Who knows what he thinks?"

"I haven’t had that much time to think about it."

"I don’t think he’s had that much time to think about it in great detail."

"I don’t think a lot of his injuries have really sunk in yet because he’s been laying in his bed."

"I think they’ll really start — particularly once he starts moving around and using his body again and being physically more engaged in his body — that’s when he’ll start to realize what damage has been done."

"Yeah, I think that will all become clear as Season 3 unfolds."

"But, yeah, I don’t think he’ll be spending much more time in Flea Bottom."

I WAS JUST SPEAKING WITH EWAN, AND HE MENTIONED OFFHANDEDLY THE AMBIGUITY OF THE SCENE IN WHICH AEMOND PRESSES THE KING'S BALL FROM THE SMALL COUNCIL INTO AEGON'S CHEST. HE SAID IT WAS VERY AMBIGUOUS ON HIS END. DID IT FEEL AMBIGUOUS ON YOUR END? DOES AEGON CONCEIVE IT AS A THREAT, OR DOES HE SEE IT AS POTENTIALLY HANDING THE KINGSHIP BACK?

"I think, as Aegon, I just saw that as Aemond playing little sort of status games with him and trying to be threatening, but really just sort of… I’ve taken a personal dislike to Aemond."

"[Chuckles] Yeah, I think he’s a little weasel that needs punishing now."

WHEN I SPOKE TO YOU BEFORE THE SHOW CAME OUT, YOU MENTIONED THE PHILIP LARKIN POEM, 'THIS BE THE VERSE' INFORMING AEGON'S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS. THERE IS THIS HEART WRENCHING MOMENT WHEN AEGON IS FIRST COMING TO AFTER ROOK'S REST. HE ONLY SAYS 'MUMMY,' AFTER ALICENT LEAVES HIS SIDE. CAN ALICENT STILL REACH HIM? DO YOU THINK THAT RELATIONSHIP IS COMPLETELY RUINED? AND WHAT DOES AEGON NEED FROM HIS MOTHER AFTER ROOK'S REST?

"I don’t think they really ever had a relationship to ruin, to be honest."

"There’s always been fractures in it."

"There’s always been a severe case of approaching things from totally different angles."

"Neither of them really have the tools or the know-how to give the other what they need."

AS A FOLLOW UP, HE LEAVES KING'S LANDING BEFORE RHAENYRA ARRIVES IN THIS VERSION OF THE STORY. SO HE HAS NO IDEA THAT ALICENT HAS BASICALLY BARTERED HIS LIFE OVER. DO YOU THINK HE WILL DISCOVER THAT HIS DEATH WAS PART OF ALICENT'S BETRAYAL? AND DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD FURTHER JUST PUT THEM AT ODDS?

"Yeah, of course."

"I think the writers are clever enough to pick up on those little details and to use those as ammunition."

"I mean, I hope so."

"That’d be great, wouldn’t it?"

"But then again, I’m not a writer, and those guys are absolutely phenomenal."

"So I will leave them to do that, and I’ll do my job."

YOU'RE NOT A WRITER, BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY HOPES FOR WHERE AEGON MIGHT BE NEXT SEASON? DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A BUDDY ROAD TRIP MOMENT WITH LARYS? DO YOU WANT TO GO TO ESSOS? IS THERE ANY AREA IN WESTEROS OR ESSOS THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO EXPLORE WITH MATTHEW NEEDHAM NEXT YEAR?

"Do you know what? Me and Matthew spend the majority of our time, if not all of our time on Season 2, in the studios at Leavesden."

"So I think we’re both just grateful for any opportunity we get to be on location, have some fresh air and see some new places."

"These beautiful landscapes that literally every other actor got to experience on Season 2, but we didn’t."

"So, yeah, anywhere that takes us away from the studio would be fantastic."

YOU'VE TALKED A LOT ABOUT HOW ROOK'S REST GIVES AEGON SO MANY PHYSICAL AILMENTS, BUT IT ALSO SEEMS TO CHANGE SOMETHING IN HIM. DO YOU THINK THERE'S ANYTHING TO A 'PHOENIX RISING FROM THE ASHES' METAPHOR THERE, WHERE AEGON IS SORT OF GETTING A NEW CHANGE TO ASSERT HIMSELF AS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LEADER, RULER OR MAN?

"Absolutely, Meghan."

"I think you’re absolutely right, for sure."

"The phoenix rising from the ashes is a great image, and I think that’s spot on."

"He becomes colder."

"He becomes more driven."

"He becomes less attentive to how people receive him."

"I think he’s in business mode now."

"There’s been too many people taking advantage of him and whoconsider him useless or ineffective."

"So, yeah, he’s now going to I think he’s now going to buckle down."

"That’s perceive him, anyway."

AND IS HIS ULTIMATE GOAL JUST THE IRON THRONE? OR DOES HE ALSO WANT TO ENACT REVENGE ON THOSE HE FEELS HAVE HARMED HIM OR NOT TAKING HIM SERIOUSLY?

"Yeah, I think he wants to inflict pain now at that point, and I don’t know if it will make him feel any better, to be perfectly honest."

"I don’t think revenge ever fully does give you that peace."

"He’s a man with nothing to lose."

"In the sense that, of course, he has the throne to lose, but it’s not really his throne to lose."

It’s much greater than him."

"You know, it’s his family name."

"It’s his pride."

"It’s his manhood."

"It is everything."

"Somebody has come and killed his child and then he’s been attacked by his own brother."

"You know, there’s nowhere to turn that’s safe."

"So, yeah, he feels very much like a one man band — with the added assistance of good Lord Larys Strong." [Chuckles]

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Through The Poral: Chapter 1

Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: A mystery girl comes through the portal with Ford. Little did anyone know she has a bigger connection to the brothers than anyone thought.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, age gap, flash backs, mentions of hopelessness, age gap (reader looks 21)

Pairing(s): Stan x platonic!reader, Ford x platonic!reader

A/N: Retelling of a Tale of Two Stans. The events and ideas are based on a theory I have about the Nightmare Realm. This is in no way canonically true, just my theories based on what we canonically know about the Nightmare Realm. 

40 long years of waiting. Waiting and wondering whether the time would come if I would ever be able to go home again. 40 years of hiding in plain sight from the one they call Bill Cipher, a dream demon who reigns over the nightmare realm, the place I have resided in for 40 years. Unaged and unchanged physically, but mentally I feel like I’ve lived for centuries.

When I first arrived in the nightmare realm, I had found refuge with a group of asteroid miners. I wasn't sure how much time had truly passed when an unknown man joined us, Stanford Pines. He told us stories of how he managed to get there as escapes Bill's grasp.

That was a long time ago. It seemed longer than what it actually was. Stanford had gone off and managed to hop between dimensions, and here we're I standing at the ready to take down Bill for good, his quantum destabilizer complete and in hand. 

“We have one shot at this.” Stanford whispered to me. 

I nodded in agreement, but as we went to strike, a rift opened up in front of us. Stanford, knowing the stakes of this mission knew that either we walked through, or Bill would and wreak havoc upon our home dimension, so with a heavy heart we walked through entering back into our home dimension. 

It felt surreal. After being gone for so long, I was finally back home. Yet, where I stood was not familiar to me. I recognised nothing. A dark space that was placed, I assumed, underground. I could hear the whirring of the machine as it fizzled and died. Home, a place I'd long forgotten, yet this place felt nothing like that. I felt like I was an imposter entering a realm I did not belong in.

Stanford and I stood silent. Taking in our surroundings. Unmoved by anything the people standing in the room were saying or doing. That was, till a man in a fez spoke up amongst the group. 

“Finally, after all these years long years of waiting, you're actually here! Brother!” The man opened his arms, a goofy grin spread across his face.

Then Stanford punched him square in the face before speaking, “this was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal. Didn't you read my warnings!?”

Never had I seen Stanford so angry. Usually he was calm and collected. Even still, he may have lashed out, but he wasn't yelling, he was calmly speaking down to this man that claimed to be his brother.

“Wranings, schmarnings. How's about maybe a thanks for saving you from what appears to be some sci-fi sideburn dimension.”

“Thank you? You think I'm going to thank you after what you did 30 years ago!?” Stanford raised his voice for the first time since I met him. He always was soft spoken, and kind. Never have I heard someone draw such anger out of him. Not even Bill himself.

Something didn't seem right. The physical confrontation, the yelling. It all screamed something more beyond the surface of what I knew.

Stanford had pinned his brother to the ground after dodging his punches. That's when I noticed the three of us weren't alone. There were three others that joined us in the dark, dingy underground. 

“Hey, hi, Mabel here. Quick question, what the heck is going on here?” A girl in a pink hand knitted sweater spoke up. 

“Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here. And some sort of large, hairless gopher.” Stanford quickly gained his composure as he looked between the three people we didn't even notice. The larger man chuckled at Stanford's comment, seeking unphased. I took quick note of this.

“They're your family poindexter. Shermie's grandkids.” Stanford's brother, or Stan as he supposedly goes by, gestured to the two young kids, I'm guessing, were twins.

“I-I have a niece, a nephew?” Stanford's voice turned to one of fondness before he knelt down in front of the girl, Mabel, reaching out to shake her hand, “greetings. Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time.”

“Woah, a six fingered hand shake, that's one finger friendlier than usual.” Mabel beamed.

Mabel's twin brother, who had been absolutely silent up until now, finally spoke up, “I-I can believe it. You're the author of the journals.” The boy then began to hyperventilate and almost threw up.

This whole thing felt like a lucid dream. I let Stanford get used to the new information he had received. I, on the other hand, had nothing to take in. I again, was lost in the world of unknowns. Maybe I no longer had a home to look for anymore.

“There'll be time for introductions later. But first, tell me Stan, are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about this portal?”

“No. Just us. Also, maybe the entire US Government.”

“The what!?” Stanford's face was fuming. I never saw him so angry.

They all looked through the window where the security footage showed the government outside searching for Stanford’s brother and the two young kids. Everything was so chaotic right now, which I hoped wouldn’t be the case when we entered our home dimension. I guess chaos followed us wherever we went.

“Okay, it’s alright. We’ve got a while before they find this room. We just need to lay low and think of a plan.” Stanford stated, the calmness returned to his voice as he pulled out the journal he had picked up off the floor, and began to write in it.

“It looks like we’re going to be stuck down here for a while. Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious back story, and also, who is she?” Mabel stated, finally pointing in my direction.

“This is Y/n. She is a friend I met on my travels. Yes, though, I have some questions about all of this myself, Stanley.” Stanford finally introduced me.

Stanley? I had not heard a name like that in 40 years…a name so familiar to me yet so foreign all at the same time. An old friend from home. A friend I left behind all those years ago. There was no way this was the same Stanley. Right?”

“Stanley?” Mabel’s brother asked.

“But your name is Stanford.” Mabel pointed out.

Stanford’s face and mine said it all. What the hell was happening here? What had happened in the time Stanford was gone? Why had his brother assumed his identity? I hoped we both got the answers we needed.

“Wait, you took my name? What have you been doing all these years you knucklehead?” Stanford turned angry again.

Whatever happened between Stanford and his brother, it still hit a nerve with him. Something about Stanley made Stanford’s normal demeanor turn angry. A side I never thought he had. He was cunning for sure, but downright hateful was not on the list of traits I had listed for Stanford.

“”Okay, okay, okay. I know I have a lot of explaining to do. It all started a lifetime ago…” Stanley began telling his version of his life growing up with Stanford to everyone.

As he spoke, things started to piece together slowly in my mind. There was a reason Stanford and I were brought together. The more they spoke the more I connected my life to the eldest Pines twins. I reached into my pocket, there I kept a picture of my dear friend that I left behind. The one person I wanted to get back to the most. Stanley Pine.

“The old me was dead, and I faked a car crash to prove it. By day, I was Stanford Pines, mr. Mystery. But by night, I was down in the basement trying to bring the real Stanford back. I couldn’t risk anyone learning the truth and sabotaging my mission. So, I lied to everyone. The town, my family, your parents. Even you, kids.” Stanley finished his story.

Everyone was so enthralled in the story that the brothers were telling, we all forgot about the government agents upstairs. Dipper, I learned was the name of Mabel’s brother, had a device in his bag that could erase people’s memories. Stanford hooked it up and changed the frequency to sync to radio headsets.

We all plugged our ears as Stanford set the device off. Soon enough the agents were dazed and confused about where they were and what was going on. Stanford greeted them and sent them away, pretending to be a government official.

“Nice work Stanford.” I smiled as I walked up to him.

He smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder, “thank you, Y/n. How are you holding up?”

“I’ve been better. It’ll take some time to adjust, but I feel like I know you better than I did before, and your brother as well.”

“It’ll take us both some time to adjust, but I promise, as soon as we get settled in, and things quiet down, I’ll get you back home where you belong.”

I shake my head, “no. You and I are a team. I’m not leaving your side. Plus,” I pull out the picture of Stanley, “I think my home is here now.”

Stanford took the picture from me, “i-is this?”

I nod, “I didn’t recognize him at first. He’s older now, and with that fez, I couldn’t see his hair, I always said that was his most defining feature.” I laughed softly.

Stanford smiled softly, “I think you should get some rest. You and Stan can discuss this in the morning. I know of a room you can stay in, if it’s still there that is.”

I nod as Stanford leads me inside and to the room that he said used to be his. It consisted of just a couch and wasn’t much, but it was a place to rest my head at night, and probably more comfortable than a cold gravel ground.

I was settling in as I heard the brothers talking. Stanford said that at the end of the summer he was to give him his house back, his name back, and the Mystery Shack business was over with. I could hear the pain in Stan’s voice, and I felt sorry for him, but after what he told us today, I didn’t blame Stanford for being the way he was. Stan hurt him badly, and I didn’t blame Stanford for holding it against his brother

I was finally settled in when Stan knocked on the door. I sat up and invited him in. He had a few more blankets in his hand that he was ready to offer up.

“Y-you settling in okay?” He asked softly.

I nodded and smiled, “as good as one can. It’s been so long since I laid on anything other than the ground in years.”

“Ford tells me you’re originally from this dimension too?”

I nod, “yeah, I’ve been away for I think 40 years…the world definitely seems different now than it did in the 70s.”

“Th-the 70s?”

“Yeah, I know, kind of a while to be away from home. No trace left of me. Nothing left except my failed experiment.”

“Y-you didn’t happen to grow up in New Jersey too, did you?”

“I actually did…” I hesitate whether I should tell him I’m exactly who he thinks I am, but I also didn’t want to assume that’s where he was going, and overwhelm his mind.

Stan just nods and goes to leave. Before he does, he says one final thing, “how is it you haven’t aged a single day, toots?” With that he walked away, closing the door behind him.

[hxney-lemcn]

Love Is Scary — Eleventh Doctor x gn! reader

summery: Doctor takes reader to a planet that he thinks they'll love. Reader has a bit more on mind than just the cute animals that inhabit the planet.

tw: Fear of unrequited love (spoilers, it is very requited)

a/n: @tonyiloveyou asked for confessions and I've been wanting to write it anyways so here y'all go

wc: 2.4k

Master List

(This is a part of a one shot series: Part One | Part Two)

“See!” The Doctor spoke proudly. “Not everything has to be a life or death situation.”

“You’ve outdone yourself this time, Doctor,” I replied, watching the maroon and pink grass flow with the wind. It was quite extraordinary really. The pink tips of the grass swaying was somewhat hypnotic. The trees behind us were a rich purple and red, seeming to brush against the sky. Oh what a sky it was. The atmosphere was transparent, revealing the stars and planets that lay beyond. 

“I’ve wanted to bring someone here for quite some time actually,” The Doctor started. “Not the best place for humans though.”

“A shame,” I muttered. “Are you sure you’ll be able to sit around with me and be bored for a bit?”

“Darling, anything with you is far from boring,” He replied seriously, that stupidly soft look in his eye once more. “Besides! Mundane is good, remember?”

I rolled my eyes in amusement, something I found myself doing often in the madman's presence, “Pretty sure you only said that so I wouldn’t feel bad about the lack of adventure I lived.” 

“Lack of adventure?” The brown haired timelord asked incredulously. “Are all the things we’ve done together not adventurous enough?”

“Doctor, in the entire span of my life, I’ve mainly lived on Earth hiding amongst humans,” I explained. “Compared to you, I’ve barely explored anything.”

“Oh my sweet, sweet (y/n),” Doctor muttered, closing the distance between us. He held my face softly between his hands and I felt my heart race at the touch. “There’s nothing wrong with that. And no one can really compare to me now can they?” I stared at him blankly as he pulled away, a smug grin resting on his lips. 

“I hate you,” I grumbled. 

“No you don’t,” He replied effortlessly. 

I turned around, facing the forest, hating how right he was, “Are there any life forms?”

“Some rudimentary animal species,” Doctor explained. “Mainly in the forest, but there are some in the water as well.”

“Like on Earth?” I asked, glancing back at him, only to startle at how close he got. 

“Yes,” He nodded, hazel eyes once again on me. It felt like burning with his entire attention only on me, I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not. “Well no, but yes if it will help you understand better.”

“I’m not human,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I can see the future of any being or thing. Give me more credit.”

“Right,” Doctor cleared his throat, adjusting his bowtie after. “I’m just used to-”

“Human companions,” I finished for him. “I know. I’m assuming the beings on this planet are connected to the planet, like a hivemind of sorts.”

“Exactly!” The Doctor clapped, once again holding my head in his hands, leaning forward to place a kiss on my forehead before hesitating. I stood there with bated breath as he leaned a little higher, right above my third eye, and placed a kiss to my hairline. “As brilliant as ever.”

I hated this. I hated this warm feeling that engulfed me at the affectionate actions. The want and need that filled through me. The loneliness I knew would follow soon after. He was closer than I expected when I opened my eyes. His stare, oh that stare. It was so warm, so loving, like he never wanted this moment to end. I didn’t want this moment to end, but I also didn’t want it to exist. 

It sparked that familiar feeling. The feeling of hope. Of the possibility that he felt the same way I did. Damn Rory for putting that thought into my head. I know he was just trying to help, but Rory didn’t understand how complicated this was. Or…was it? But whenever it seemed like the Doctor and I would step over a boundary we couldn’t go back from, he’d change the subject. Which in turn would take that spark of hope and snuff it once more. A tortuous cycle that I set myself up for every time. 

“Come on,” He broke the silence. “I want to show you something.”

I blinked, coming back to reality, “Was this not what you wanted to show me?” Once again, the moment was averted. 

“No,” He shook his head, his brown hair falling out of place…not that it ever was in place. “Well yes, but only a part of it.” Holding his hand out to me, he smiled brightly and repeated, “Come on.”

I decided to try and stop overthinking everything. Just to let go and live in the moment. The moment where the Doctor took me to the most beautiful planet I’ve ever seen. Where he’s staring at me like I’ve hung the stars. Where he’s holding my hand oh so gently as we walk through a forest of vibrant purples and reds. For once, I’ll indulge myself, even if it’ll hurt later. 

I felt breathless as we entered a clearing. The forest was dark (due to the sky being transparent to the cosmos), but the clearing was a bit brighter. A river rushed past, a dark navy blue that I was familiar with on Earth. A few of the animals that the Doctor spoke of stood by the river, watching us with curious eyes. No need to be afraid, not having come in contact with predators before. Reminds me of the Dodo. Those poor birds.

The Doctor kept walking, stopping only when he realized we weren’t holding hands anymore, “Come on dear, they won’t bite.”

I trailed after him, crouching down in front of a cream colored creature. I wasn’t exactly sure of the name, or if all the creatures on this planet shared one. In fact, the color pallet of this planet reminded me of red velvet in a way. Holding my hand out, I tried to get it to sniff me, to prove I was no threat. It only turned its head in confusion. 

Leaning down next to me, the Doctor handed me some fruit. It was a bright orange, almost neon. I suppose its so it could stand out for the creatures to eat. Once more, I held my hand out, this time the creature didn’t hesitate to eat the fruit I held out to it. 

“It's so cute!” I couldn’t help but smile as I turned to look at the Doctor. “Can we take one home?”

The Doctor paused, seeming to do a double take before asking, “Home?”

I paused to, unsure what I meant by that. Did I mean the house I called a home because it's where I slept? Or did I mean the Tardis, where I found solace in the fact that the Doctor was never far away? Or did I mean simply with him, with us, wherever we chose to go?

“Y-yeah,” I slightly stuttered, turning back to a different looking creature. I shrugged, “You know…”

“Would you like to go back?” 

I looked at him in confusion, “Where?”

“Home,” He simply stated, eyes seemingly interested anywhere but me. 

I worried my lip between my teeth, deciding to take a small leap, “I am home.” Petting one of the creatures seemed to help calm me, they were quite receptive to the pets. A fond smile reached my lips as even more creatures started to surround the two of us. 

“You mean this planet?” The Doctor asked and I felt myself scoffing. 

How could a brilliant timelord be so daft?

“I mean with you, stupid,” I rolled my eyes and slapped his shoulder lightly. 

“Oh,” Such a simple reply. I kept my focus as even more animals gathered around. Some similar, others different. Don’t think. Everything is fine. “Dear, I think we should go now.”

I felt my heart drop. This was it, this was the rejection. The moment was slipping, and I wish it would just stop. 

“Is…is it okay if we stay a little longer?” I asked, petting the small creature on my lap. “I like it here.”

“I wish I could say yes, dearest,” The Doctor whispered, closer than I realized. “But I’m afraid we’ve overstayed our welcome.”

My eyebrows furrowed, looking towards the Doctor, only to find him staring at the animals around us. When did there get to be so many? I stood up slowly, carefully placing the small creature that was on my lap on the ground.  “They’re expecting more fruit,” I stated, their eyes following the Doctor and I. 

“They won’t turn violent,” The Doctor reassured in a hushed tone. “But they may not want us to leave.”

“Darn,” I faked defeat. “I guess that means we’re stuck on this beautiful planet with the cutest creatures for the rest of our lives.”

The Doctor laughed lightly, “I don’t think the Ponds would be too happy if we admitted defeat so quickly.”

“Or,” I pointed out. “They would be disappointed finding out that we skipped out on a great opportunity.”

“Is this the same Amy we’re talking about?” He questioned with a glint in his eye.

“Is this the same Rory we’re talking about?” I countered.

“Touche.”

______

I watched from the railing as the Doctor did his little dance around the Tardis’ control board. No word about my comment. No reciprocation or clarity about whether he felt the same or not. Once again, changing the subject before the lines of our relationship could get too blurred. I wasn’t sure if I could deal with this heavy feeling on my chest any longer. I knew it would hurt, but not this much.

“So,” I trailed off, not sure where to even start. 

“Once we pick up the Ponds, I was thinking of going to Drunun Z85, they’ve got some of the most excellent chefs there,” The Doctor started to ramble. 

“Uhm, could we talk about something first?” I asked, clenching my fists to try to ground myself. I was okay, this will be okay. 

Stopping his actions, he looked up to me, eyes wide and a slight smile, “Yes! Of course! Talking’s good, talking’s fun.” I tilted my head slightly as he rubbed his hands together and glanced around the room. 

“Are you nervous?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

“Me? Nervous? Never,” Waving his hands about, he went to fiddle some more with the console of the Tardis.

“Okayyyy,” I drawled. “I…was just hoping I didn’t make you uncomfortable earlier. You know…me calling you…”

“Home,” The Doctor finished for me, that sad lonely look clouding his eyes, one I found often when I looked in a mirror. Once more he cleared his throat, “No, no I don’t mind.”

An awkward silence fell over the two of us. I fiddled with my fingers as the Doctor continued to pretend to be busy with the Tardis. I shouldn’t have said anything. 

The Tardis’ lights flickering brought me out of my head. The Doctor also seemed to notice as his brows furrowed into the cute focused look he has. They both seemed to be having an internal conflict with each other before the lights went out completely.

“Oh come on…” The Doctor paused before whispering out ‘sexy’. “Don’t be this way.” There was no reaction and I never realized how dark it could be without lights on. I squinted, hoping my eyes would adjust to the dark, but there was absolutely no light, no sun, no star, that could potentially reflect light and help me see. “At least give us backup lights so we don’t hurt ourselves!” The Doctor shouted, sounding frustrated. Dim lights lit up the area. Barely might I add. Still, it was better than the literal void. 

“Are you okay, love?” The Doctor asked. Well that’s a new one. Hearing him call me that hurt so nicely. 

“What’s going on?” I asked, it was the only thing I could think of. “Why’d she shut down?”

“She’s being stubborn,” He replied. 

“About what?”

“She wants me to admit something,” He sighed. “Something I’d rather keep to myself.”

“Oh,” I muttered, feeling disheartened. “You don’t have to tell me. Tardis, I’m sure it can be left unsaid.”

“At the same time…” The Doctor continued. “I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this in.”

I walked up to his dark outline, reaching my hand out and accidentally touching his neck. I felt my way up to cupping his cheek.

“You know you can tell me anything Doc,” I whispered, brushing my thumb against his cheek. He’s reached out to me so many times before…was this my first time reaching out to him? My heart stuttered as he leaned into my touch. “I won’t judge, I’ll always be by your side.”

It was silent for a few beats. I waited for something, anything, with bated breath. What could he possibly admit? Why was the Tardis so adamant of me needing to know? 

“I love you.”

He said it so softly I almost missed it. No, how could I miss something I’ve wished to hear for hundreds of years? The overwhelming sensation of love, confusion, and fear washed over me. I’ve wanted this for so long…too long. The yearning, the want for love, it had become a stability for me, something I could always rely on. 

But this was a good change. Love was scary, but it was also beautiful.

“I love you too,” I replied without hesitation.

“Is this the part where we kiss?”

Moving my hand from his cheek to his neck, I pulled him into a kiss. It was clumsy at first, but we both were quick learners. My skin felt like it was on fire when his hands ghosted over my waist. Pulling away, I couldn’t help but notice the Tardis lights had turned back on. 

“Okay,” The Doctor nodded, turning back to the panel. A giggle escaped him as he muttered to himself “They really kissed me, we kissed! Blimey, Amy won’t let me live this down…I won’t let me live this down.” His giddiness seemed to be infectious as I chuckled at his antics. I stopped him from flipping a switch by placing my hand on his shoulder. He turned to me, a bright smile on his lips. Before I could back out, I placed a quick kiss on his lips, just for the hell of it. I could do that now! Whenever I wanted!

“Are you trying to kill me?” The Doctor asked, his smile never faltering. 

“Not a bad way to go out,” I replied with an equally bright grin.

“Not bad at all.”

[brokenlovesong]

Any Chet soda head cannons

DO I EVER. This is a long answer but I’ve been planning a Chet x Soda fanfic for a while so I’ve got a lot.

I think Chet and Soda are similar in a lot of ways. They put on smiles even when they probably shouldn’t as a mask to hide the darker parts of life. They laugh through the pain until they can’t anymore. And they both have so much love to give for others and unfortunately not everyone they offer that love to reciprocates it or stays.

They start seeing each other through drunken sloppiness. Soda is drunk for probably the first time in his life, trying to cope with the fact Sandy left him. And he’s alone wandering the streets. It’s incredibly dumb. But he doesn’t want to dump his problems on anyone else.

That’s when he stumbles upon Chet, who stole the bottle his dad had been downing and ran out with it before his old man could catch him.

They’re able to find some sort of release through each other and find it helps at least distract from the woes of life temporarily. So they continue to meet up in the dark.

It’s not like either of them doesn’t want more out of the relationship. But they don’t know how to ask the other. So their connection remains relatively surface level.

But there are little things they do for each other to show they may care more than they let on. Like for instance, Chet often gives Soda books he recommends for Ponyboy to read and tells Soda to take the credit for the gifts. And Soda will take extra time when filling up Chet’s car with gas at DX to inspect it and see if anything is in need of repair. Neither of these are things the other ever asked for.

Chet’s always been the little brother of the Socs and with Soda being the middle brother and often the mediator, both have often felt unheard by the people they surround themselves with. So when one talks, the other makes sure to listen— whether it’s something as insignificant as Chet’s football practice that day or as important as Soda’s parent’s death. They share a lot more with each other than they do with most. But still never speak specifically about what they are to each other because they don’t know how to do that.

Dally caught on to them after they’d begun to get a little reckless with their quick getaways and makes his disapproval very clear to Sodapop any chance he so much as sees soda spare a glance in Chet’s direction from that point on. But he also would never say anything to anyone else. He knows how important it is to keep them a secret

Soda and Chet break up the day before the rumble. Chet begs soda not to go. But he makes the mistake of mentioning how the rumble is Ponyboy’s fault and that sets soda off. Soda ends things right then and there.