#but there is literally no one else that can do it. i'm all that's left. so i'll just have to find a way to take it
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I'd like to tell you all a story about my grandmother.
My grandparents raised their children, four girls (one of them my mother), to be fighters. My aunts marched in Washington for women's rights with babies strapped to their chests and like to joke that all of the grandchildren who came from that line (including myself) were born with picket signs in their hands.
But it started with my grandparents. They fought hard for what they believed in. They marched against Vietnam. They marched for Martin Luther King. They marched for women's rights. They marched for a better future.
But let's talk specifically about my grandmother for a moment.
My grandmother unfortunately passed away in 2016. She had to watch the first Trump election and did so knowing that it would probably be the last election she'd ever see. And there is some argument there that she could have given in to fear and defeatism. She could have decided none of it was worth it, and she could have decided that fascism had won and the world was over.
But she did something else instead.
To give some context, my grandparents had friends who were Republicans. I say were, because they shifted from the normal Republican towards the MAGA Republican we see today. And despite a very clear message from my family about how we felt, they were more than ready to still come to the funeral as if everything was normal. Like their beliefs were normal. Like they were welcome to celebrate someone who had fought so hard for the rights of other people.
These were people who would have absolutely used their rhetoric to scream and shout if they were left out or disinvited.
And so my grandmother, even past her final moments, pulled the most brilliant, petty move I've ever seen.
She'd decided ahead of time that everyone who had known her was more than welcome to attend but that she wanted everyone attending the funeral to donate money. That was the requirement to be invited. And so everyone did just that. There was no talk about what the donations were for, just that they were appreciated. I want to say that the assumption was the money would help pay for funeral expenses and give the family some support while we grieved.
Except that wasn't the case.
Because in those final moments of the funeral, the rabbi stepped forward to thank everyone, and then very cheerfully announced;
"Arlene was so happy to know just how many people were coming to join us here today. She couldn't have been more proud of her family. And I'm sure she would have been elated to see just how much money you all gave today to Planned Parenthood."
When I say that the faces of those people are enshrined in my memory, I mean it. The anger, the devastation, the rage, the betrayal. It was an absolutely gorgeous display of true defeat at the hands of a boss ass old lady who literally fought with her last breath and threw up both middle fingers all the way out the door.
What I'm saying is this.
It is very easy to feel defeated. It is very easy to think that everything is over, and there's nothing left for us to do. It's very easy to say that fascism won, that fear won, that hate won.
But that's only true if you let it be true.
There is always more that we can do. There is a future that is still worth fighting for. And it's more than possible, even when it doesn't seem like it.
And fighting is going to look different every time.
Some days it will look like picket signs in our hands.
Some days it will look like spending time with friends and family and people you love and knowing that you have a community that supports you and your vision of a brighter future.
And some days, it's pulling absolute natural level 20 petty trickster shit even after you've left the world.
Because you can always make an impact and you can always add a little brightness to life, and if that means tricking a group of MAGA idiots into throwing their money behind Planned Parenthood in the middle of your own goddamn funeral then that's what it means.
Keep fighting. People have done it before you. People will continue to do it after you.
And enjoy the little victories.
(Even the petty ones)
#us elections#equality#equal rights#protesting#picketing#fighting#we can do this#we truly can#take a break and then keep fighting
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Review shiny eevee and evolutions?
For sake of ease, we're going to group these by how good their shinies are, starting with:
The "I don't think you tried at all" shame corner (Glaceon, Leafeon, and Flareon): Doing all of these at once because I have the same issue with all of them: they are WAY too similar to the original colors, leading to incredibly boring and underwhelming shinies.
Glaceon: Just ever-so-slightly lighter than the original; the sprites had a tiny bit more contrast but not much. I would recommend making the whole thing white, which is a nice snowy color; sure, it does kind of share shiny Eevee's palette then but Jolteon and Espeon are both green so it probably doesn't matter.
Leafeon: The body is a tad darker, but good luck noticing. You could make the body a light green for something monotone, you could make the leaves brown or red, something autumn-y; literally just anything else would be better.
Flareon: Flareon the least bad of this group and mostly suffers from 3D conversion (its old sprites were more red while the old shiny sprites were more of a brownish gold). Easiest fix would just be to make the shiny a purer yellow like the above edit, or you could swing the opposite and do a deep red instead.
The "fine, but why?" corner (Jolteon and Espeon): Both of these ones are nice and high-contrast, and are very easy to spot compared to the non-shiny versions. The only issue with them is that the greens here feel very... random? They're not bad, but they don't feel natural.
Espeon: I like that it looks a bit like a space alien, but that really has nothing to do with the actual 'mon itself. For a Pokemon associated with the sun, you'd think they'd go for a yellow with a blue gem or something like the above (would tie it into Umbreon's shiny). At the very least, the green they chose feels way too dark for Espeon; a nice light, minty shade would've helped a lot, especially with a yellow gem or something. Also, I dislike that it has three different accent colors (red, purple, and blue).
Jolteon: The shade of green here works a lot better than the one used for Espeon, but it's an odd choice for an electric-type; once again, not bad, just odd. I would've just gone with a cyan-ish blue, which is still high-contrast but much more on theme.
The "actually good shinies" corner (Vaporeon, Eevee, Umbreon, and Sylveon): These ones are all bangers; lots of contrast and with color choices that feel natural for each.
Vaporeon: While this one borders on not having much to do with the theme, purple is at least close to blue hue-wise, so while it's not necessarily very water-y it doesn't feel like it's completely coming out of the left field either.
Eevee: Eevee's whole thing is that it's supposed to be plain and normal, so neutral colors are a must. The very light cream they used here stands out compared to the darker brown originally used but still works with the concept. Using a cream instead of pure white also allows it to keep a tiny bit of color. (I'm not posting an image of the g-max here, but I think it uses the same cream so no issues there.)
Sylveon: Sylveon doesn't actually change its hues; instead, it opts to swap its secondary and tertiary colors. This can be a risky gamble, but it works here because there was so much more pink in the original design compared to blue, so the change still really stands out. Because it uses the original palette in different proportions, it also doesn't run the risk of the colors feeling too random. Also it's trans, so that's a bonus.
Umbreon: Umbreon's shiny is a banger and you don't need me to tell you that. Swapping accent colors can be risky because it's not always that noticeable (see that Lunatone review I did a few days ago), but the yellow was such a prominent and bold part of the design that the blue swap stands out, helped by the fact that it pops really nicely against the black body is a nice "nighttime" color. Swapping the eyes to yellow further helps differentiate it, and it keeps the kind of "eerie" look that the original's red eyes invoked.
Overall: Vaporeon, Eevee, Sylveon, and Umbreon have great shinies. Espeon and Jolteon have okay shinies that are high-contrast but don't feel very natural. Glaceon, Leafeon, and Flareon barely change and are just plain boring.
#eevee#eeveelutions#glaceon#leafeon#flareon#espeon#jolteon#vaporeon#sylveon#umbreon#pokemon#shiny pokemon#pokemon reviews
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I’m a biology student and fuck. Just fuck. Every post I see talks about the world ending and all life coming to an end. I know that’s not the case (I hope) but just…god. Kamala was gonna be shit with the environment but trump seems keen on speed running the time we have to put a dent in this. How do you stay hopeful? What do we have to hope for?
Hi there fellow biologist :)
First let me just say, Kamala Harris most certainly would not have been shit with the environment. She would have done quite a lot to work on climate change (she has not emphasized this at rallies because it was not a priority issue with voters, but her policies were there, and democrats consistently are progressive on environmental policy enough to make corporations angry), and Biden during his presidency has accomplished a heck of a lot to undo Trump's previous weakening of federal environmental protections and strengthen them further. My hope is that they together will continue to try and pass what they can in their remaining months. I hope in my previous posts I was not coming off as too cynical - I'm scared, as we all are, but I have great faith in the passionate and hardworking scientists in this field who have dedicated their entire lives to tirelessly protecting our planet, at all scales. We just need more of them, and that's where you come in.
How do I stay hopeful? Because of people like you, students in the biological sciences who feel strongly enough to take this career path. The next generation of environmental stewards, in a time where scientists are exponentially more knowledgeable about threats to the environment and solutions to them than ever before. Especially now, these fields are shifting from old white guys (no shade to [most of] them) to young women, people of color, and queer people in STEM, who are eager to bring new perspectives and approaches to the field that I think will bolster our resolve and increase our success.
Despite the doom and gloom, we also have made incredible strides forward to improve clean air and water, restore habitat (particularly wetlands, reversing decades-long trends of waterbird declines, as well as reversing raptor declines), ban DDT, track species declines through long-term monitoring by generations of dedicated scientists, train more effective science communicators to engage people of all ages, especially children, with the natural world to forge crucial emotional connections needed to recruit them to conservation causes, and so much more. Here's a big one - MOTUS, the system we now use to track migrating birds on their worldwide journeys, developed just in the past couple decades. Because of it, we now know in incredible detail where individual birds and populations overwinter, the routes they take, and the threats they face at different times of year - thereby being able to much more effectively target our conservation efforts. Shifting baselines work in both directions; it's easy to forget within a generation or two how much we've lost (atlantic cod used to be so abundant they jumped into fishermen's boats, passenger pigeon flocks darkened the skies for hours), but it's also easy for young people to not know how much we've gained - bald eagles used to be so rare it was a spectacle to see one, the rivers just half a century ago would literally catch on fire from the levels of pollutants, and acid rain - remember acid rain? we fixed that!) In my field specifically, we've been rediscovering once-thought-extinct bee species left and right in the past few years, because dedicated young bee researchers have put in renewed effort to search for them when no one else did. Now we know where they are and how to protect them, and some of them aren't even considered rare anymore!
You more likely than not have a professor for some class who's pushing 80. That's because in this field, we never quit. Protecting the environment is our passion, our lives, our heart and soul. It's our calling, and we couldn't think of doing anything more important with the time we have on this earth. Every stride forward we've made only happened because individual scientists, regular people, cared enough to fight for what they believed in. Often it's a slow process, and often we don't truly grasp the scope of what our own work will lead to in the grand scheme of making change. But every species out there that's still persisting is because someone loves it a whole lot. Maybe a lot of people love elephants or big cats, while just one single person loves terrestrial leeches. But heck, it only takes one person to completely change the trajectory of a species and bring widespread public attention to it! I love telling people about bee species they've never heard of, that exist right in their own state. They might go home, google it, and keep an eye out for it next time, or better, plant the flowers it specializes on. I put a call out on iNaturalist for users in my state to search wetlands for a rare wetland bee with only a couple of records in the state - within a couple months, half a dozen more sightings popped up. Just like that. The bee was considered rare, but no one was looking. They had no idea there was anything to look for. Now? Not so rare, maybe - a good sign!
I stay hopeful because I know that the planet needs us, and we need the planet. The people who love nature will never stop fighting to protect it, and every single action does make a difference, whether we know it or not. I could ask myself why I give talks at public libraries where my audience is 10 people at best, even when the drive is 6+ hours. Because one, just one, of those people might be inspired or moved by my words, and choose to take action. For all I know, I've started a domino effect that will cascade into something huge. I worked with and briefly mentored an undergraduate student in bee science a few years ago - he's since gone on to work on a huge project to digitize bee specimens locked away in dusty drawers for decades, bringing to light dozens of species for which we previously had little to no information or images, improving the resources available to other researchers to identify their specimens and thus be able to monitor these rare, specialized desert bees. You can't know the impact you'll have. You just have to do the work, and always give all you can, and love doing it.
Some might think it's too little too late - but that's relative. There's no such thing as the apocalypse. Nature continues on, in whatever form it needs to. In a way, we've decided what our benchmark is; prevent the loss of biodiversity, preserve ecosystem services. But the natural world has already changed, since the moment any human stepped foot onto a new continent or island and brought plants and animals with them. We put value on species, on ecosystems, because we love them. We think they are beautiful, that they have intrinsic or extrinsic value, and that they deserve a continued place in this world. We have lost species, and we will lose a lot more. But isn't preventing even one extinction worth it? We fight tirelessly to manage the spread of invasive species, to restore even little patches of urban habitat, when someone could look at those and say, 'what's that point? that won't make any difference.' But tell that to the species that live there. The planet keeps running because of small, local changes carried out by thousands of people, and a handful of big changes (like policy) undertaken by a few ballsy folks. Neither would work without the other. Every time I get my hands in the dirt and plant a new species in my pollinator garden, it gives me hope. I'm investing in the future. By being here, studying biology, you are too. It all gives me hope.
#uh oh another long post#life will not come to an end until our sun becomes a red giant and engulfs the planet 300 million years from now dont worry#but you have a role in protecting a little slice of life right now
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I feel like if Chujin was still alive during the events of Undertale Yellow, his and Clover's relationship would be incredibly rocky. Pacifist!Clover could bring him around to tolerating them (after all, they have that sort of effect on everyone), but it would be more in a "this human is the only 'good' human" manner than a "maybe I should reevaluate my opinions on humans overall because you can't judge an entire group based off (very biased) stories and one bad experience." Even then, that opinion would be subject to change should Clover ever get frustrated or behave "too aggressively" or act in any manner that isn't perfectly docile. If Clover ends up attacking a monster then it's "humans are just as horrible as they were in the war stories, I should've known better" regardless of the circumstances that could've pushed Clover to fight. Suffocating expectations and endless demands for patience when he wouldn't ask the same of a fellow monster.
And heaven forbid he ever meet Clover on a No Mercy Run...
#undertale yellow#i hc that his parents were involved in the war and he was born after monsters were sealed underground#so he's one degree removed from all that trauma which is understandable why he'd be so afraid#but at the same time Blackjack had similar circumstances and he came around to liking clover and judging based on character#instead of by who someone is.#sometimes you need to sit down and realize that the problem is you and your views instead of everyone else but he doesn't strike#me as the sort to do that type of self reflection.#Chujin is a character who is absolutely ruled by his fear. he leaves kanako and dalv alone after they were attacked by a human#to sicc axis on integrity. he hinged his whole career on building guard robots (and judging by some of the paperwork in the Steamworks#he was the only one who wanted to build guard robots).#he destroyed his health and left his wife a widow/his child fatherless to craft a serum to defeat humans.#he experimented on a human (child's!!!!) soul and ordered his wife to k.ill an INNOCENT human.#he literally says that humans are incapable of decency in any form!!!!! the writing is on the wall!!!!!#not to sound like I'm bashing on his character because he did do a lot of good for the underground. he made the honeydew resort heater#and Martlet's balcony. and it's implied he built the bridge between the wild east and Starlo's family's farm with the fox-bell#symbol on that bridge. he inspired martlet to take up woodwork which put her on the path to joining the Royal Guard and meeting clover#he likely did a bunch of other good things as well that never got brought up. he did do some good actions.#but he is not someone that i would call a good person.#(realized i ended up with a long string of tags down here. if someone wants to screenshot it and add it to the post go for it)#edit: i find it utterly fascinating that he calls humans incapable of decency yet acknowledges that there can be a pure human SOUL#what an utter hypocrite! i doubt the contradiction ever even occurred to him!
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thinking about baby Pastelito wiwiw...
#🖍️ — Silly doodles#(🧁) *.✧ — Pastelito#(☆) 。.゚— Trunks#DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH ENERGY TO DRAW BUT URRGHH I FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT HER#sweet child wiwiwiw just imagine that little round thing running around#I was thinking about her maybe not understanding why she has to fight bad guys so probably she thinks everyone is acting#as if they were playing to be super heroes#now that I think about that she would love the Gammas bc they are meant to be super heroes WIWIWI#probably asks them for autographs#she looks at herself in the mirror like “yes I'm gonna beat some bad guys today” but she doesn't actually hate them#like she would kick Frieza in the ass and then ask him to go to her birthday party#gives all the Ginyu invitations bc she doesn't want anyone to be left out#And probably that comes with her dads being UNHINGED#wdy one of ur dads is a demon#and then you have the most angelic child so full of love. literally can't hate anyone#just a silly little slime bebe....#Trunks must fight for his life to keep this child alive bc THAT'S HIS SISTER#he didn't decide that but what else can he do?#talking about Pastelito's brother wiwiw cytruce#they are literally Silver and Green. Young brother who had to be to careful and protect his older sister too.... wiwiauhgh#I LOVE THEM I'M GOING CRAZY
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I'm so fucking tired of some of the conversations I'm forced to endure
#tell me how one of my clients brings a friend along to her appt and literally all they do is talk abt being stay at home moms#like I'm so fucking bored. can't relate. don't want to relate.#how much more can we discuss a 2 year old. they're babies. they can't do anything.#and the fact that this client once made fun of me for being homeschooled as a kid and is now talking abt homeschooling hers#so she can protect them from predators... sigh#I'm just so goddamn tired fr#literally left at one point just to sit in the bathroom cuz HOW DO YOU RELATE EVERYTHING BACK TO YOUR BABY#I mean I guess if you are around your kid all day and you got nothing else going on. whatever#need to kill myself fr
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😮💨
[sorry for the hardcore tag rants, y'all]
#more than a little exhausted by certain things#no stability anywhere in life#not in work or family or even friends#would settle for literally just one single shred of continuity and reliance#one single piece of my life I can count on to be there for me and reliable and safe#just a shred of something or someone being there for me in the long run#work has proven garbage#family is so fucking volatile it might as well be an unhandled explosive#and the very few threads of friendship I've found and thought were worth the time and effort to strengthen have just#left me abandoned or floundering doing either all the work to be left behind or what I can to be uncounted for#either nothing or not enough and not counted for in the long run#because apparently my friendship is just as forgettable or easily disregarded as every other part of me#or at least that's how it definitely fuckin feels#and I'm So Spooked when it comes to making friends!#I'm scared to connect with people who actually seem genuinely interested in getting to know me and talk to me!#and that sucks bc I want to get to know them but everyone else seemed interested at first too and then a few months later!#they're just as hard to get in touch with as everyone else who turns away!#I don't want to annoy anyone or be too much anymore#I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt like a big giant fucking baby!#i know it's mostly on me and managing shit but it still just. sucks ASS.#I don't wanr to be scared to make friends because people abandon me#I don't want to run people off#I want to be better and have better because I know I deserve it#sorry for ranting I'm just. incredibly jacked up about some more recent stuff bc it brought up long term stuff#i am not immune to hating myself bc of bad friends#anyway yeah sorry i am done grambling#grant grumbles#grambling is my new grant grumbles extra#also to you amazing guys who are so full of love (myccc and hack!!!!!) ily tons and you bring me life#i am trying to be just as cool and worthy as you both!!!! please don't ever leave me! you keep me going even if I don't show it well!!!
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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡
#sure whatever#it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job#and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to#and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague#and now he's gone there's only annoying things left#also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now#but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao#like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days#then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes#now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal#i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing#oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us#has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise#lol thanks#also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off#AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop#while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao#i won't go to the office tomorrow either#i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again#at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time ♡#i might actually just not work tomorrow#I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off#fun times#(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues ♡#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to#university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams
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baby we are dropping like flies over here my great aunt passed this week.
#🐇#it's like a joke kind of. like god is just fuckin bashing me over the head with a bat over and over!#my mom found a photo of me with my papaw and great aunt from when was little today. very sad#and you know what else I found out today?? my grandpa has diabetes and my grandma tells my mom that his blood sugar keeps getting low to th#point where he's super out of it and isn't making sense. like on the verge of going into shock and even after that she was complaining to m#mom that he'll tell her he needs to eat right now because he isn't feeling well and she's like okay well I'm busy! I'll get to it!#lmfao grandma he could DIE what are we doing here???#I think she's desensitized tbh he's been through so much already. I mean like his brain was literally rotting at one point#and he just....got over it. he flipped down the side of a damn mountain in a golf cart. had cancer twice. he's running on pure spite#she's also very mentally ill and not on any meds! so you can see why we're all dropping left and right
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sorry, halsey — hopeless fountain kingdom.
#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#it kind of surprises me just how much content there is out there about being afraid of intimacy but then again-#i have heard that that is supposedly one of the most common fears that people have apparently. so yeahhh but of course i do mean emotional-#intimacy here and oh my goshhh. i never realized just how sad parts of this song were until i listened to it again.#'i run away when thing's are good and never really understood the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could#i hate to say it BUT that is so misao. she really does feel sooo unlovable sometimes and she has this 'leave them before they leave you'-#mentality that is so saddening to have TBH but i understand why she has it. her childhood kind of left her broken in a way i think-#in ways that can't be easily explained as it was very nuanced and complicated. but GAHHH that doesn't stop me from wanting misao-#to find at least some kind of love from people 😭 like she needs at least one friend or something that she can depend on bc i feel like-#that would really help her and being in a house alone all the time whenever she's not at work can not be good for her psyche.#so petition to get misao a friend or two? JSJSJ nahhh but i am legitimately being serious at this point#she needs someone who'll stick with her through thick and thin and will be understanding of the fact that she's got unresolved trauma so-#that partially causes her to be hyperindependent but i firmly believe that she needs people just as much as anyone else.#maybe more in fact but IDK#and the fact that in this song halsey says that she still knows facts about them even though she hasn't talked to them-#in forever? i'm WEEPING AHHH#that is so like misao as well sadly. she would literally take little notes as to what thing's people like to reference later if she had a-#friend because she 'doesn't want to get it wrong' whenever she gets them a present she says but it's really so that she doesn't forget-#how precious this person is to her and how she wrote down all of their favorite things as a result.
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BTW Love the growth from OTB, where it's about reassurance and realization, to BTM, where it's about acceptance and growth. God, Louis' queer-coded lyricism should be talked a lot more also
I sat on this for a minute cause I didn't think I was going to answer it, cause if I did it might just be to say, I don't necessarily think it's that simple, and what does being a grinch add to anything! But I realized I do actually have something to say, although it isn't what you were looking for anon, so, sorry about that. See, what I have been thinking is amazing about Louis' lyricism (and has shown big growth between Walls and FITF) and needs to be discussed more is its versatility, its prismatic blank slate qualities even while being so specific. What I mean is: his signature style is to write lyrics that are straightforward and easily understood as telling a clear story (certain trippy dance numbers excepted obv ;). But what's remarkable is that despite their seeming simplicity and easiness to read, a LOT of his songs can be perceived in a practically infinite number of ways, with every different interpreter absolutely confident in the rightness of their read. So yes, I personally happen to believe Bigger Than Me (and some other songs such as All This Time) are in part about Louis' queer experience. But every lyric that I think that about can also very easily mean something else- they can pass as generic radio songs about nothing, or as songs about experiences non queer listeners have had about any number of things, or as being about his career generally, or in most cases as boilerplate love songs. In the lead up to this album Louis talked about how he wanted people to come up with their own interpretations of the songs a lot, which I laughed at because he then kept saying what they meant to him anyway, but I think I get now why he said that so much just now in particular- I think the way it's possible to make almost any meaning from them is something he did knowingly and with great skill (and put hard work into), and deserves to be recognized. Like maybe one thing he was writing about was the queer interpretation, but then he also made them be about the fans generally and his life and love and 5 other things, while shaping them to be malleable and universal enough that all that fits into these extremely simple lines. And I think that people insisting they know what his songs are about and that it can only be one thing actually erases that work and skill that he, I believe, is rightfully proud of, and that deserves appreciation. Also it doesn't fit anywhere but I would like to add two other thoughts: one, sometimes part of a song can be about one thing or be literal but other parts can be made up or from something else sometimes for as little reason as to make it rhyme, and two this is a whole essay probably but I'm thinking a lot lately about how Louis talks about being honest in his writing and how people think that means the same thing as being literal (writing about his exact life) and actually something can be HONEST, like can talk about feelings and thoughts that really happened while depicting made up events (see: fiction/ literature generally), without being LITERALLY TRUE (this is a thing that is exactly how it happened in my life) so just throwing that in here also.
#there are a lot of reasons I find it hard to believe Land H are still together#but ISTG there just keep being more in the 'by god they really are??wtf' column against all odds!#so I simply have to shrug and be like damn. those crazy mfers. they really are huh#and one of them for me is them having these conversations (with a friend!) that they both talk about#and say the same things#and then go and do the exact same fucking things#and one of those things that they haven't explicitly said#but both started doing at the same fucking time#is being like oh you know what I'm going to do now#I'm going to write about stuff that isn't relationships#just...other stuff. where I'm from and how things change and how change is hard#friends' heartbreak. yknow just stuff. that happens to be the same as someone elses stuff#anyway I have all these thoughts about them writing less about their relationship/s and how much it feels to me like a thing telling me#that they are still together. but that's a whole other post probably#also#there's no point in making a fuss about it so I just left it out like whatever who cares#but Only The Brave is not inherently queer like... it just isn't#it can be read that way!! (as can literally everything apparently I saw someone saying OOMS was obviously queer the other day for example)#but its not obvious or inherent or inarguable#louis songwriting#blah blah blah#honest but not literal#thinking about how one of the most impressive things louis does is get a lot into a tiny number of words#and how bad I am at that 😂#genuinely its so much easier to use 1000 words to get a point across then to distill it so its one sentence
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#will probably delete this later but I needed to get it out somewhere#like I am so goddamn lonely. and it is making me feel LITERALLY as if I'm about to descend into genuine madness#but the PROBLEM is that. in order to not be lonely. you need to find other people. and you need to have reason to believe that those#people will keep wanting and making an effort to communicate with you#and the thing is THE THING. IS. that you cannot control what people do or feel. I have no say in what people think of me.#I have to rely on other people to build new relationships. and that is just not. something that I can do.#it's not something that makes SENSE for me to do anymore. so I try to figure out how to just not want human connection at all#you know maybe if I intentionally isolate myself or grow my cynicism on a regular basis I'll get desensitized to the point#where that's just genuinely not something I want anymore. so then I'm not lonely but I also didn't have to rely on anyone else being#trustworthy and accepting and willing to care about me to get to that point#but. I mean maybe some people can do the denial thing but I can't. I've been trying for years. and that carved-out-hole in my chest#hasn't gotten any better. it hasn't filled up or healed over or gone away. it's just gotten bigger.#but if you're genuinely convinced that you're just built in a way where no one is ever going to really love you...what the fuck do you do?#if connecting with other people is something I want but it's (in my probably-biased estimation) completely inaccessible because I am#an inherently shameful and unpleasant person just by virtue of existing...then I'm just stuck at an impasse. and I'll always be crying#over something I can't logically ever have. why bother pursuing it if I am just going to be rejected or hurt or disparaged or tossed out or#neglected or sidelined or any number of bad outcomes? if that's how pursuing any kind of new interpersonal relationships is going to end#then why bother? the only thing to do would be to learn how to be completely unreliant on other people in any way forever right?#but THAT'S not logistically feasible EITHER and I've already proven that I can't fucking do that so what's left? just always be miserable?#I DON'T WANT TO RESIGN MYSELF TO THAT!!!!#sorry. it's. getting to be late december & around the new year is when it always gets Bad™ so we're just. gonna be like this for a few week#In the Vents#ugh all of this would be better if I still lived near Best Friend™#anyone who gets to live near/with their Person™ PLEASE know how lucky you are and don't take that for granted
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No cuz actually. This is the kind of love that doesn't just fall into your lap. What are we doing tossing it around so carelessly? No no no, that was some bs. I'm meant to be the soft partner that comes home and takes care of their partner, rubbing feet and drawing bubble baths and making dinner (im GETTING BETTER OK DAMN) and bringing home flowers and candy and other gifts on random days because it doesn't need to be a special day for them to be treated special. Because I love them the same amount every day. And NOT expecting anything in return, like this brings me JOY. I feel just as good doing these things as someone else would feel recieving it
#I'll admit i was tired#and was feeling like i didnt have much left to give#but thats not even true#when we sat down and really talked?#even though it was a shitty topic?#THAT regenerated me#all i need in return is your company#thats all ive ever needed#I DONT WANT TO DO THIS FOR ANYONE ELSE#i dont think i could even if i did#the way i feel about you#i just. I've never EVER felt this way for anyone EVER. Not jjst live#but this joy#this unbridled joy#no one else can do that for me#I'm literally ready to turn around and March my ass back into her dms with a FORCE#all i need is some sort of greenlight
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as always pls do not interact with this post or read the tags
#if i distort this picture enough maybe i can talk about superhell tonight#and if YOU recognize this picture you are just as BAD as me#the height difference is killing me it's really killing me it's not the oerfect distance for a forehead kiss but thats not what i want#that can be platonic. nothing platonic going on here folks!#when they make out it's always going to be deliberate because he's always going to have to lean down#there is as always something poetic about him meeting him at his level#it's like. i could've left. i could've stayed in the ohl. i could've not chosen you#at every stage that i did choose you above everything else#it's like. we were not meant to be together like this#both literally and figuratively too!#but i want you with a ferocity that rivals nothing else in my life#and i'm going to get you. because you want me too. because we can have everything we want!#i'm going to meet you at every level i can#honestly would not be surprised if through the strength of superhell he gets an nhl contract#or even an AHL contract that puts them in the same place#literally package deal do noy separate you are one half of my whole soul etc#anywhas no mistake what they have and what he wants and what they BOTH want which is simply. chef's kiss#it's like. this has always been clear to us. never been a question. 0 hesitation 0 moral ethical objections 0 regret#the first time he kisses him he knows its going to happen because again. no accidental forehead kisses with that heigh difference#its all about CHOICE. its all about KNOWING YOURSELF AND EACH OTHER. its always about being DELIBERATE#going to superhell tonight#thinking. perhaps even thoughting. thunking.
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trojan war tumblr simulator
🌊 is-the-sea-wine-dark-today
YOU BET IT IS
#the wine dark sea!!!!!!!!!!!! #wine dark sea #wine dark sea posting
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✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo follow
why is achilles the only demigod who's Like That? like he's my boy but u don't see memnon or aeneas or sarpedon acting like him on the reg. why is he so maladjusted? like specifically? I saw his mother once and was so terrified by the sight of a goddess I flung myself to the ground and hid my face in the dirt til she left but I still don't think that accounts for it idk
🏘️ nobody1020
it's blonde man syndrome hope this helps
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⚔️ sonoftydeus
opening my askbox so that we can discuss strategies on taking troy!
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anonymous asked: we should all go home :)
⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:
FUCK OFF AGAMEMNON I WANT REAL SUGGESTIONS
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nobody1020 asked: do u like..... horses
⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:
odysseus do I even wanna know where this is going
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⌛ isthetrojanwaroveryet?
year 9, day 234: still no....
#all our admins keep DYING
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‼️ trojan-confessions follow
I think my wife might be sending me anon hate :/ keep getting asks like 'hope u die on the battlefield tomorrow silly slag' and 'menelaus should have curbstomped you' and in her big tapestry of warriors she made me look stupid
🐴 horsetaminghector follow
lmaooo is this paris??
🔮 cryinglikecassandra follow
kinda think helen should send MORE anon hate idk
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❓ myrmidons-confessions
I was the one who wrote the achilles/agamemnon 100k slowburn enemies to lovers rpf and put it on the group chat but now patroclus is calling me 'agachilles boy' and laughing about it and asking if I can proofread his mock bardic epic where all his dogs are heroes and killing people, so I fear I've made a mistake. I also can't look achilles in the eye anymore... but honestly I've never seen proof he can read so I might be safe
❓ myrmidons-confessions
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👑 kingofmycenae
👍🏻 ajaxthegreat
achilles is DEAD and ur posting CRAB RAVE?????
🏘️ nobody1020
I think that's why he's posting it ngl
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😹 deiphobus42069
imagine being the achaeans and your best warrior gets killed by PARIS, after everyone else had awesome deaths at the hands of sarpedon or hector or memnon... like that's literally so embarassing I just know achilles is fucking fuming down in hades rn. I bet the achaeans are gonna put around that paris was guided by apollo, or that paris happened to hit his only weak spot..... anything 2 try and make it less cringe.... lol lol we're popping the biggest bottles tonight. hope helen's there
🐆 leopardskiniscool
???????????????
#I mean. yeah. but also. #deiphobus wtf I thought we were chill
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#hope everyone can be normal about the outcome!!! :)
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🧑🏻 randotrojansoldier-deactivated-8578543
so excited to go back onto the field of battle tomorrow! sure hope I don't encounter any of the big-name heroes
🗣️ homer follow
I hope you don't too! I'm sure you'll do great!
🐎 antilochussss
not the direct address????
✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo
direct address got him :(
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💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow
fuck my job so much I hope that this wooden horse tribute to the gods turns out to have some guys inside or something just so I can DO something rather than standing here like a twat with my spear
💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow
by ares this can't be happening
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⚔️ sonoftydeus reblogged menelauskingofsparta
do NOT order achilles from shein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#oh yeah #I was stuck with temu achilles in the trojan horse for six hours #and by hour two agamemnon had suggested killing and eating him #and odysseus was threatening to 'send him to meet his father' #and it's not even like there's any kleos in killing priam!!! #anti neoptolemus #neoptolemus defenders dni #vent tags
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#taking a break from my actual academic essay about the iliad to make this terrible terrible post#I don't think there's any proof everyone hated neoptolemus. BUT.#but if I'd been at troy for 10 years and achilles' fuckass teenage son pulled up with the bloodlust of an xl bully I'd have been. displeased#iliad#the iliad#trojan war#achilles#ajax#odysseus#homer#epic cycle#unreality#tumblr simulator#greek mythology#my post
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okay this is gonna be a like. serious hot topic question that I want a good faith explanation to.
but why is cheating seen as Worse or more of a Betrayal than like. any other lie told in a relationship?
EDIT: I suppose for context I should mention my mom Definitely Cheated On my father multiple? times and my father used to go to strip joints to try to get mom to React and while I wasn't told about either of these until I was an adult it probably informs my inability to understand
#personal;#like I've always had the understanding that society disapproves and I understand it's a betrayal of the terms of the relationship#but why is it worse than just like. idk. lying about what you were doing one day or forgetting to mention something important?#like been rewatching House and that one episode where the lady got sleeping sickness bc she slept with someone else and he like#was all 'I'd rather she'd die [than know this]' and he whole ass left her alone in the hospital after she got out of a coma and like#am I just too aro? too non-monogamous? I literally don't understand and never have#I've been wondering this for at least 15 years and is PROBABLY part of why I cheated a couple times as a teen#so like....#can ANYONE explain this to me??? I've never understood#(and like no of course I'm not gonna use this as an excuse to cheat in the future; I don't want to date anyone else that sounds exhausting)
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