#but there is absolutely a point when jack gets to 16/17 and realises he likes boys

[trickstercaptain]

i do need to write a full meta about this but modern jack going through a phase at school where he believes he is gay ( before realising that bisexuality is a thing) ? absolutely

[gumnut-logic]

Reactions (Bit 20 and The End)

Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3a | Bit 3b | Bit 4 | Bit 5 | Bit 6a | Bit 6b | Bit 6c | Bit 7 | Bit 8a | Bit 8b | Bit 9 | Bit 10 | Bit 11a | Bit 11b | Bit 12a | Bit 12b | Bit 13 | Bit 14 | Bit 15a | Bit 15b | Bit 16 | Bit 17 | Bit 18a | Bit 18b | Bit 19 | Bit 20 (The End)

Here we are! I found an ending :D ::bounces excitedly:: Around 30,500 words, this is my longest Fandomversary ficlet ever and my third longest Thunderbirds fic. It took exactly a month to write 18 July - 18 August 2020 :D

For @soniabigcheese​ with her prompt Gordon and Bedlam. ::grin:: I’m not guaranteeing any of the other fics will or won’t end up like this :D I’m not in control here.

Many thanks to @scribbles97​ for reading this bit (which is the biggest of them all at 3600 words) and for the inspiration at various points ::hugs you::

Thank all of Thunderfam for all your support with this fic. You have been absolutely amazing. I really hope the ending is satisfactory. Thank you for all your likes, comments and emotional support. I couldn’t do any of this without you guys.

Warnings: language

Enjoy!

-o-o-o-

Title: Reactions

Author: Gumnut

18 Jul – 18 Aug 2020

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: Virgil and Gordon get into a bar fight which has many more consequences than anyone expected.

Word count: ~30,500

Spoilers & warnings: language

Timeline: Season Two, shortly after ‘Impact’

Author's note: Nutty's Fandomversary 2020 Fic Three. For @soniabigcheese​ who asked for Gordon and Bedlam. This one has gotten out of control and is much bigger than intended.

Many thanks to @onereyofstarlight​ , @scribbles97​ for the reading and cheerleading and to @tsarinatorment​ for poking me from time to time and pointing me in directions I need to go ::hugs::

Disclaimer: Mine? You've got to be kidding. Money? Don't have any, don't bother.

-o-o-o-

Bit 20

“What the hell were you thinking?” It was a hissed whisper and something beneath his hands moved.

“Shhhhh! You’ll wake him up and then we’ll both be dead.” That was Alan.

Virgil frowned.

“You know I prefer celery.”

“Well, that’s all they had.”

Gordon grumbled, something about pumpkin. “Thanks, bro.”

There was silence for a moment and Virgil drifted again, too comfortable to care.

‘They were both honourable men. The blond one, Gordon? He stepped in when this guy just got in my face. I was just sitting down for a drink between classes and that guy wandered over and started hitting on me. I just wanted a quiet moment.’ A cleared throat. ‘If Gordon hadn’t been there, I don’t know what I would have done. But then they were all fighting and I got scared, you know? If I had known it would start everything it did, I would have come to you sooner. But I didn’t and then it was worldwide news and...I’m sorry...I was scared, okay?’

Virgil frowned. He was warm and his brain foggy. He just wanted to sleep.

‘The facts that have recently come to light regarding the world government’s conduct have had dire consequences for certain leaders and, in particular, the leadership of the GDF. One thousand and seventy-nine people were aboard the failing launch platform and no GDF assistance was sent. If it wasn’t for the persistence of International Rescue, it is highly likely that the craft would have gone down with all aboard.’ And then Gordon was yelling at the top of his lungs. ‘RETURN TO YOUR POD SO WE CAN SAVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!!’

That threw Virgil out of whatever slumber he was entangled in. “Gordon!”

He found himself on his belly in a bed. Foreign smells identified the bed as one belonging to a hospital. Hospital?

A hand landed on his shoulder. Soft words. “Hey, hey, Virgil. Shhh, you’ll wake him up.”

Scott? Huh? He rolled over, tangling in a blanket. He was fully dressed apart from his boots. What the?

“You fell asleep in a chair.” His brother, dressed in a suit, waved a hand at the seat he was sitting in. “John and I moved you to a bed so you would be more comfortable.”

Virgil blinked vaguely, but he only had eyes for the occupant in the other bed. Gordon was sleeping peacefully despite the news hologram hovering above his legs. Various scenes from the launch platform flickered on and off, the voiceover loud enough to be heard, but not to intrude. He watched film of his own ‘bird darting about. Scott and Gordon tackling the crowd.

Words fell from his mouth. “What’s going on?”

Scott had a shit eating grin on his face. “John did some filming.”

“He did what?”

“Highjacked a few of those journalists’ holocams and gave them the footage of the century.”

Virgil blinked at shots of himself catching Gordon as he fell. Every angle was available. The cameras panning as he checked his brother’s vitals, called his ‘bird closer and lowered a basket stretcher.

He swallowed at how much the expression on his face gave away when Gordon didn’t respond.

Scott hovered, caught between commander and brother.

When Virgil secured Gordon and began to draw himself and his brother into Two, one of the remaining crowd yelled out yet another demand to be taken aboard the Thunderbird.

The camera zoomed in on Scott’s face. His voice was ice cold.

“Return to your pod. This platform will be evacuated in ten minutes whether you are secure or not. This is your last warning.” As Thunderbird Two peeled away to a safe distance, Thunderbird One swooped in to collect her pilot and International Rescue evacuated the last of their operatives from the failing craft.

Thunderbird One’s loud speakers warned that the pods would be evacuating in ten minutes, that everyone would be safe if they were in their pod.

He didn’t say that IR wouldn’t collect stragglers, but his tone was one of a man on his last nerve.

The crowd ran back towards the stadium.

Virgil’s memories of the incident were different. He had Gordon in the cockpit, scanners screaming at him about internal bleeding. The realisation that he would have to fly his brother to the nearest hospital or risk losing him.

The war in his head between the thousand odd people below and the one brother under his hands.

And John’s word.

“Go, Virgil.”

“John-“

“Go. I’ve got this.”

An order from Scott and he was in his pilot’s seat accelerating away from the danger zone, his ‘bird clawing at the sky to gain speed.

He ignored the squawks from the idiot still strapped into his seat at the back.

The fact he had to swoop around an airliner as he set course for London, didn’t register at the time.

Now he saw what had happened after he left.

“John sent out a call for help and they answered.” Scott’s eyes were shining with pride.

All sorts of civilian aircraft emerged from the surrounding cloud layer. Helicopters, freight carriers, airliners, emergency services, all from the nearest countries.

So, ten minutes later when the stadium disassembled, each of the pods peeling away under its own power, there were enough craft in the sky to provide support.

Thunderbird One corralled, grappled and made sure all were safe, darting back and forth across the herd like an authoritive sheep dog.

The holocams cut to the herd arriving at the nearest airport, flashing emergency lights decorating the airstrip as the pods were directed to land, one by one, Thunderbird One and several other appropriately equipped craft catching and lowering those that struggled.

“He caught all of it on film.” There was that pride again as the newscast cut to a presenter hailing the wonders of International Rescue.

Virgil blinked.

His memory consisted of that mad dash to London, Gordon’s vitals and seeing him disappear behind emergency room doors.

Delivering the pilots from the crashed planes to medical care.

Physically restraining himself from punching the lights out of the man Gordon had injured himself saving. Giving him to the police, explaining what the man had done and that International Rescue would like to press charges.

The frown on the constable’s face had been odd. Virgil had assumed it had to do with the recent press regarding IR.

Perhaps not.

In any case, the annoying whiner continued his whining as he was taken away and Virgil was happy to see the last of him.

At least until Jack lined him up on a courtroom stand and shredded his life.

Gordon had surgery to stitch up the bleeding in his belly. A massive contusion still marked where he had collided with the airstrip superstructure during his leap to save that asshole.

His arm was strapped up after his shoulder had been relocated to its correct position and he was decorated in plasters.

The last thing Virgil remembered was sitting beside his little brother, holding his hand, waiting for him to wake up.

A blink. “Alan was here.”

Scott sighed. “Yeah. Still is. Grandma dragged him out of here so you and Gordon could get some rest.”

“And you managed to get to stay?”

His brother smirked, those eyes glittering again. “Been waiting for you to wake up. Got some news.”

Virgil frowned. “News?” He pushed himself upright, tired muscles complaining all the way. The last few weeks had taken a physical toll as well as a mental one. Letting his socked feet fall off the side of the bed, he sat up fully and stretched his shoulders and arms. “You’re a Cheshire cat, Scott. Spill before I find other means.”

That earned him an arched eyebrow. “Lady Penelope and Kayo came through. They found the proof we were not responsible for the incident in New York.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “What? How?”

A hand landed gently on his knee. “It wasn’t your fault, Virgil. Lady P and Kayo found the cause and the persons involved.”

Virgil grabbed his brother’s hand. “But how?!” It came out louder than he intended and Gordon stirred in his sleep.

Scott’s hand gripped his. “The extra weight was cloaked. Penelope forced the authorities to give her access and she found the devices. Kayo was able to follow the trail of manufacture and found the thugs responsible. Jack jumped on it and all charges against you have been dropped.”

He stared at his brother. “Charges had been laid?!”

“But they are dismissed. You don’t need to worry about it.” The frown on Scott’s face told Virgil that Scott regretted even mentioning that fact. He had obviously hidden it.

“Did we break the law?”

“No!”

Had he been evading the law without even realising it? “Scott.”

Scott’s frowned increased. “No, Virgil. We’re not going there. You are not responsible. The charges have been cleared. End of story.” His brother’s glare brought that line of thought to an abrupt end. Whether it was because of the commander or the big brother, Virgil’s reflex was to obey.

Damnit.

“Is Virg being an idiot again?” The words were slurred and quiet, but so Gordon, Virgil was off the bed and beside his brother without thought.

“Gords?”

Tired brown eyes focussed lazily on him. “Hey, Virgil.” A slight frown. “You’re loud.”

He was on the wrong side of the bed to grab Gordon’s uninjured hand, so he had to satisfy his need for contact by running a finger through the hair on his little brother’s forehead. Gordon blinked and comically attempted to look up at Virgil’s hand.

Virgil couldn’t help but smile. “Sorry. How are you feeling?”

Those eyelids closed slowly and reopened blearily. “Tired.” A frown. “Where’s Alan?”

Scott stood up behind Virgil and those brown eyes latched onto their eldest brother over Virgil’s shoulder. “With Grandma. You need rest, Gordon.”

Gordon’s lips curved upwards. “Lookin’ spiffy, Scooter.”

Scott snorted, looking down at his suit. “Just playing the part.”

Gordon’s eyes drifted closed again. “You look good.” He frowned and his lips twisted as he attempted to shift on the bed. “Ow.”

“Stay still.” Virgil’s palm cupped the side of his brother’s head.

His eyes opened and found Virgil again, but Gordon didn’t say anything. His head did lean into Virgil’s hand and eventually those eyes drifted closed again. His breath evened out in sleep.

Virgil stared at his fishy brother a little longer.

Scott’s hand landed on Virgil’s shoulder. Voice quiet. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

Illogically, Virgil found himself not wanting to leave Gordon, but he cursed himself at being ridiculous and removed his hand, letting his brother’s head loll gently onto the pillow.

Scott’s fingers gripped his shoulder and he led him from the room.

-o-o-o-

Scott snorted when Virgil froze just outside the hospital front doors.

He had left Thunderbird Two in the hospital parking lot.

How he had had the mind to change into civilian clothes yet forgotten that he had a traffic hazard parked outside was a question he could not answer.

“Hey, at least you haven’t got a parking ticket.”

IR security had obviously been deployed. His ‘bird had been roped off and she was high up on her struts, well out of reach.

“She’s had her uses. John has found sanctuary. I think he may have even slept in your bed.”

Virgil blinked as his eyes passed over the crowd that was literally camped behind the ropes in the parking lot. Someone caught sight of them and started screaming. Within seconds several hundred people had emerged from tents and were screaming ‘Tracy, Tracy, Tracy!’

“What the-?”

“Popular opinion is as fickle as always.”

“Who did we save? The Queen?”

“Not quite. Though there was a prime minister, thirteen world councillors, a soap star and at least two musicians.” Scott frowned. “Foster? Two of them.”

Virgil stared up his brother. “Not Ben and Nick Foster?”

“Yeah, maybe?”

“We saved Ben and Nick Foster? Did you get their autographs?”

“What? No? Should I?”

“Are you kidding me?!” Did his brother live under a rock? “Ben and Nick Foster, Scott!”

“Ooookaaay.” His brother held up a hand. “Calm down. They did say that they were willing to support us in any way. I’ll let Jack know you’re interested.”

Virgil spent the next several moments considering what the hell he would do if the opportunity to meet the Fosters came up. Could he handle it? Maybe. It would almost be like meeting Kip Harris. That led to a train of thought of what might happen if they ever encountered the fire specialist.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Oh, hospital, Thunderbird Two, screaming fans. He straightened himself, ignoring the flush that crept up to his cheeks. “I’m fine.”

Scott frowned at him a little but then led him across the lawn towards his ‘bird, their fans screaming the entire way. Their questions were so opposite to those of the last couple of weeks, it felt wrong.

“They really don’t hate us anymore?”

“You know it isn’t that easy, Virg. There are plenty who still hate us, or want our stuff, or the power. I don’t think that will ever go away. But popular opinion, the opinion that gauges what is acceptable? Yeah, it seems we have it again.”

“Because of John?”

Scott stopped and turned, catching Virgil’s eyes. “Partly, but I think mostly because the truth finally got to those who matter. The people with the real power.”

“Who?”

“The people.” His brother turned towards the screaming crowd for just a second and the calls for ‘Tracy’ switched calls for ‘Scott’. “The moms, the dads, the postman, the small business owner, the woman who drives the school bus…the people we used to be.”

“We’re still those kinds of people.”

Scott shook his head. “Perhaps inside, but not to the rest of the world.�� A half smile. “We’re the Tracy brothers. We’re International Rescue. Billionaires who live on a secret island.” A sigh. “If all this has proven anything, it’s that.”

“It shouldn’t matter. We do the right thing.”

“It shouldn’t, but it does.” A shrug and his big brother turned towards Two and, with the return of his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, led him to his ‘bird.

The hatch lowered without instruction and they left the screaming to the green soundproofing of cahelium.

“Hey, Virgil.” John was sitting in Gordon’s co-pilot seat, his tablet in his lap and a number of optical cables hooked into the dash.

“What are you doing to my Thunderbird?”

“Not much. Needed her antenna mostly and a little extra processing power.” A twist of his lips. “Eos, say hello.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Eos?”

“Yes, Virgil?”

“Where exactly are you?”

“That is an existential question. I am in many places.”

“Including in Thunderbird Two?”

“Of course.” A giggle. “It’s comfy. John says it is like an old couch.”

“Eos!”

“Well, you did.”

Virgil glared at his space brother.

John sighed, let his shoulders drop and, pushing the co-pilot’s seat back, stood up and faced the music. “Virgil, yes, your ‘bird is comfortable. No, it is not old. Please can I not be berated for a slip of the tongue.”

Scott snorted so hard, he coughed.

Virgil glared up at John a moment longer before grabbing him into a massive hug. He squeezed the breath out of his brother, his face mashed up against a space-suited shoulder.

A strangled squawk from John and Scott outright laughed. “You’ve done it now, Johnny.”

“I’m sorry, Virg.”

His name was little more than a gasp from his brother. Virgil held on a moment longer before relenting and letting go. He blinked rapidly as his vision blurred. “Thank you, John.” It was his turn for a hoarse voice. “I don’t know how to-“

“Hey, hey, Virgil. Don’t strangle the messenger. I only passed on the truth.”

Virgil swallowed and shifted his feet. “You saved me.”

Turquoise widened and flickered to stare at Scott before darting back to Virgil. “You would have done the same.”

“But it was you who did it.” A shaky breath. “Thank you, John.”

John looked down a moment, as if embarrassed, before catching Virgil’s eyes again. “Anytime.” A small smile. “Though I can’t take credit for Gordon’s contribution.” John lent over touched his tablet. “He’s been bleeped all over the world. Grandma is mortified.”

“Oh, god.”

Scott grinned. “Oh, yes, our young aquanaut is in for it when he gets home. Homemade chicken soup and all. Make sure we bring in some extra survival supplies on the way back to the Island.”

Or was that grin a grimace? It was hard to tell.

“Gordon was bleeding to death.”

All the humour left the cockpit.

“He’s going to be fine, Virgil. You know that.” Immediate older brother worry.

A sigh. “I know, Scott. It’s just that all that swearing…Grandma can forgive him due to circumstances. He wasn’t thinking straight.”

John’s voice was clear and firm. “He said what needed to be said. And to be honest, he was the only one who could say it.” He tilted his head to one side. “It gave Sir Hugh Creighton-Ward the ammunition he needed to launch a counter offensive.”

“A what?”

“The World Security Council is in an uproar. I doubt Wainwright’s career is going to survive. Did you notice the complete absence of any rescue craft at the platform?”

Virgil frowned. “Wasn’t the crashed plane a World Rescue craft?”

“Hell, no. That was the fake rescue. It was supposed to land under difficulty, but the pilot mangled the ‘distressed’ landing and crashed it instead. When the whole thing went sour, Wainwright tried to halt our intervention, so she could send in the new heroes and make a real show of it. But then we refused to leave so she settled for inciting the mob we faced. Those people who refused to return to their pods? Some were plants ordered by Wainwright. A good percentage of that thousand were GDF personnel in plain clothes. She felt that uniforms wouldn’t be as heartfelt as civilian wear on film.”

A stunned stare. “You have proof?”

John looked out the forward windows. “An unforeseen communications error may have inadvertently refracted several of the conversations involved directly into the NTBS satellite.”

Virgil’s stare flattened. “You or Eos?”

“A communications error.”

“You then.”

“I don’t understand what you mean, Virgil.”

The engineer rolled his eyes. “Are you safe? You can’t be traced?”

The look John threw at him set nothing more than ‘Are you kidding me? Space ace communications astronaut genius versus those dweebs?’ Not that his brother would actually say those words…but then his specialisation was communications and he was quite capable of expressing himself non-verbally.

Those copper eyebrows could be lethal after all.

God, he had missed him.

Virgil resisted the urge to hug him again.

John must have picked up on it because he took a step back.

Scott took a step forward. “Sir Hugh has called for Wainwright to step down and face criminal charges. Several of her cronies have been named. General Strond is no longer the head of the GDF. Aunt Val has been reinstated.”

Virgil found himself staring again. “It’s been barely twenty-four hours!”

Scott shrugged. “Penny says her father likes to strike when the iron is hot.”

“You’ve spoken to Penny?” But then of course Scott had. She had that news to deliver. Another wave of relief washed over him.

Though sixty-three people had died…on purpose.

The relief was replaced with anger.

“Of course, I did. She flew in to check on Gordon.”

That stopped him in his tracks. “Lady P flew in to see Gordon?”

“Well, we are in London. Practically her backyard and she did have that news to deliver.”

“But to see Gordon? Does he know?”

Scott shrugged. “No. Both of you were asleep.” A quirk of his lips. “You were snoring and drooling at the same time. You are quite skilled in the sleeping arts.”

“Shut up.” God, the thought of Lady Penelope seeing him in that state was mortifying.

Scott burst out laughing.

Virgil thumped him. Just a little. Didn’t want to break any of those bird bones of his.

“Ow.”

“Wuss.”

“If you two have finished?” Yes, there were those two lethal copper eyebrows at work.

Before either could answer, Scott’s comms went off. “Scott, dear, Gordon is awake and asking for you. The demands to go home have started and my initial threat of cooking didn’t faze him at all.”

Wow, that was serious. “FAB, Grandma. We’ll be there asap.” Blue eyes shot at his brothers. “Well, that’s a new one.”

“Does he know about the media turnabout?” Virgil’s words froze both of his brothers.

“Oh, no.”

“Shit.”

Scott straightened. “John, secure Thunderbird Five and warn off Eos. The last thing we need is those two in cahouts.”

“FAB.”

“Virgil, you’re on distraction duty. Swipe his tablet if you have to. I want no new social media accounts. Jack is still sorting the last three lawsuits from the jello vs peanut butter war. Occupy him with anything. Paint him if you have to. Grandma would love another portrait. At least it will hold him still for a few minutes. And definitely no outside contacts that aren’t vetted beforehand. Call in Kayo if necessary. A bored Gordon incites bedlam.”

“FAB.” Virgil straightened where he stood.

“I’ll handle Alan. If there is one thing worse than a recuperating Gordon, it is both of them recuperating together. Do we have consensus?”

John and Virgil spoke as one. “FAB.”

Tall and commanding, Scott Tracy held his ground. “Very well…Thunderbirds Are Go!”

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[qyu-inactive]

MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT OUTTAKES 16-18.5 BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY

We have been blessed with 3.5 glorious new parts to the wonderful Losty Aone/ Mountain Man Series by the wonderful, amazing, awe-inspiring @shhhlikeme and i am emotional and have many many feelings about it all.

Outtake 16 

I love that we got to see this from the reeader’s point of view, it was nice to see our losty y/n and see how their feeling. It was a nice break from feeling sad about Aone’s broken heart.

This part made me laugh ahaha

After dating and breaking up with him, Aone had females constantly approaching him. A/N: Not constantly but it felt that way for you ofc lol

the jealously😂, the Author’s note too like “it wasnt like that at all” 😂 this emotional person (y/n) is just  blowing up the situation. 

and then this:

In other words: They want what you had. 

i mean of course they would, Aone is the sweetest boy but only to someone he loves. Aone’s heart is too strong to let waver to someone knew so quick

This whole outtake all i could think about was that Y/n really needs to get back with her mountain man, first they want to break up so Aone finds someone new but then doesnt want him to find someone new. Like cleary y/n is not being honest with herself or Aone. 

When they went to the library, ahhh y/n really just imagining the worst scnenarios in their head😂

“Oh,” your stomach flipped. “He looks so cute.” You put on a 🥺 face when you noticed how utterly adorable a standing Takanobu looked

🥺🥺🥺 Aone is always such a cutie, and y/n really broke this man’s heart😭 I know it was insecurites but still. These two are so in love but just wont get back together. 

The outfit y/n is wearing😍 you always pick these really cute and sexy outfits and I appreciate y/ns confidence and style but it is not me 😂😂 but Aone thirsting over his girl tho, i would dress up like that if it meant getting looked by Aone like that 😂

I love Aone’s plan, like he is such a sweetheart and he’s making me all soft at all his effort to win his girl back🥺🥺

This outtake really gave up all the feels y/n is feeling with breaking up with Aone and I am enjoing it 😂. At the same time though I just want these to love birds to get back together ahhhhh. 

One of the things I really love about this story is how strong the friendship is and how we see the outside characters really show how much they care. A lot of stories (like shojou, oh man you dont know how much shoujo manga ive read haha) just sideline their friends after the start talking to their love interest or they dont even have friends at all in the whole story. I really enjoyed seeing Katana be a voice of reason in our losty’s life. And of course the K_nji’s being our boy Aone’s best friends. 

Outtake 17

okay we starting with the real friends the K_nji’s warning our boy Aone about the situation. I love them and how much they care 😂. They can be dumbasses but still, I appreciate their effort. 

The University—our University— sent her a uniform that’s a size or two too small.

Does this mean they’re going to the same university? or am I reading too much into it? It might have been mentioned before but I cant remember off the top of my head. Also Aone really living his best life and his worst life rn 😂😂  like he gets to see his girl in a super tight cheer leading uniform and spend one on one time with her but he cant do anything about his desires. His confidence tho haha  “I’ve seen Y/N in a cheerleading uniform before” not like this you havent😏 

Aone Takanobu can truly say—if he could speak—that he will never even question Futakuchi again.

Again I just really love their friendship, parts like this really get me 😂😂😂

When y/n took out Aone’s jacket automatically🥺🥺 my hearttttt, and how long Aone’s jacket is on them🥺🥺 this whole part made me so softtt. Like imagine wearing his jacket🥺🥺 it would be so comfy and warm. 

There are so many golden lines I loved from this part, but Aone’s spank bank is just a phrase I wasnt expectng to read but it is gold. Im sure his bank is full and loaded😂

Then some random gross guy comes up to y/n, like the audacity of this guy.

He had such a disgusting grin on his face

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 this guy can back offfff. 

I really love when Aone comes in to protect the reader🥺🥺 he’s not the iron wall for nothing too. 

Your knight has arrived. Your ex-knight. ☹️

and then you go and hurt me again😭😭

I really wanted Aone to just kick a dude in the chest, like step the fuck off 😂😂. 

“Take one more step toward her.” Aone growled in the smoothest voice.

“I dare you.” Aone added, for good measure.

Im absolutely swooning, Aoneeeeee🥺🥺🥺. And the fact that he wanted the reader to come with him so she wouldnt get anyone bothering her😭😭 he’s such a gentlemen. No one bothers Aone’s girl whose not his girl at the moment, especially guys who arent wanted

now onto the fun part of this outtake😏 I wasn’t expecting to see texts but it was definitely a nice addtion!! Our poor Aone soo horny and sweet, I dont know if the dead squirrels worked hahaha. 

but he couldn’t help but wonder how he was going to edit all of this together in the time frame he promised he would with only one hand.

this went over my head when i read it the first time omg😂😂😂 Im sure Aone can do it, he’s a very capable man. This whole section had me laughing but also feeling slightly bad for Aone, again his poor horny heart right now is conflicted but very much fed. Im glad he was able to get a break, I dont think his length could wait (im not used to using subtle language hahaha) anyway this whole part was fun to read. 

Aone bit his juicy bottom lip,

I legit bit my lip just before reading this part😂

Outtake 18 & 18.5

Now we’re hitting the climax!! (after Aone just hit his climax and is about to hit again😗)

—who imo really should return to their own homes now but would rather not—

I mean do these two even have their own homes anymore😂, theyre basically apart of the Aone family now. Family who also understand when to leave their horny pal alone for time being. 

OKAY ONTO THE IMPORTANT PART!!! AHHHHHHHH. 

“Aone-senpai, do you even have snapchat?!”

“Obviously not.” Kenji answered for his friend, being snappy.

“WELL HE SHOULD GET IT BECAUSE I SAW—“

Did Kanji see Y/N and Takeru?????? I also cant believe I learnt Takeru was a third year from this series, I always thought he was a second year for some reason. I think cos he was ennoshita’s rival. not important rn lmao

“—because Aone-senpai is jacking off again. It makes you feel lighter, and happier—so that’s why,”

this boy, there are some things you just shouldnt say out loud. Some things can be left unsaid (not like im blunt with my friends sometimes haha but still) 

When Kenji had found out about why y/n dumped Aone😭😭😭😭 I’m glad he found out earlier then Aone, I wouldnt have wanted him to yell at the reader again.

Anyone that can do that, be so selfless—is good enough for his best friend.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I can tell its her because that’s your sweater she’s wearing. Right? It says Takanobu on the back, and I remember seeing Y/N steal it out of your bag after practice once.”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺these parts really just made me soft. like the fact that y/n still had the jacket and wanted to wear it out. and the absolute coincedence that they were in the same cinema as Aone. 

“Y/N.—Sh-She-She is wearing my attire. What does that mean?”

Yeah, big guy.

Yeah, you have a chance.

Y/N still has a little….tiny bit of feelings for you

YES YES YES FINALLY , I wanted to cry here😭😭 AND THEN KENJI CONFIRMED IT ALL AND AONE THE MAN WENT AND TRIED TO GET HIS GIRL. THIS REALLY IS THE DRAMATIC PART IN THE MOVIE. AND THEN THIS [redacted] TAKERU CAME AND AHHHHH 

(Aone would know that face, he only saw it everyday he’s looked in the mirror for the past 3 years)

Absolutely dead. All hope—gone.

You make me happy and then just rip out my heart like 2 minutes later. I was going from crying happy tears to sad tears in like a heartbeat. 

ALSO YOU DONT KNOW HOW UPSET I WAS WHEN I GOT TO THE END OF PART 18 I DIDNT REALISE THERE WAS 18.5 AND WAS AFRAID THAT THIS WAS IT AHHHHHH. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PLAY WITH MY FEELINGS THEN JUST LEAVE. 

“I’m worried about you.” She finished, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen her.

y/n really has some good friends with her🥺

uhhh then Takeru comes in, I dont really hate him but no one stands in between our losties love, they deserve each other and no one can stand between them. 

“But, tonight, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m just one theatre over… Okay? I have a pretty comfortable shoulder, so just text me.”

Okay this was pretty nice of Takeru, like cheesy but at least he cares and isnt staring at y/n like a peace of meat he wants to devour...

You sent it. Received a response within seconds saying he was on his way.

This boy, hes got a good heart but this isn’t your story bud, im sorry.

There! Kenji-san and Koganagewa-san, two males who were looking at you and Takeru as if you two were the villains in the movie that just popped out of the screen.

if this doesnt go well these two seem like they’re going to fight y/n outside the cinema😭😂 I couldnt imagine getting death stares from the K_njis especially after hurting Aone basically twice now.

Finding HIM was all that mattered.

OKAY THIS WHOLE PART, LIKE YES GO GET YOUR MAN PLEASE. LIKE Y/N CANT JUST LEAVE THIS RIGHT HERE LIKE THIS. 

white hair visible only because his head was down, forehead kissing the steering wheel, his shoulders vibrating slightly because he is crying. It’s him.

I cant take anymore sad Aone😭😭 He needs the biggest hug and his girl to be his girl again. He has gone through so much.

“Kenji-san, please leave me—““Not Justin Bieber look-alike!”

I cant with the Justin Bieber look-alike. 😂😂

Im just going to talk about my feelings for this part, but the whole confesson. I felt like crying, i feel like crying now reading it😭 it was just so beautiful. Like y/n explaing everything and saying Aone is the only man she’ll ever love. Throughout the series we really go to understand Aone’s feelings so deeply and how passionate he is but we didnt really get to see how y/n felt as much so reading this made me happy for Aone for the fact that his girl loves him as much as he loves her. They really were lost for each other, lost with out each other, but together they were 

Found.

okay maybe im tearing up now😭😭

One more marathon to go and our happy couple can live happily. The fact that this story is nearly over is a little sad but I’m happy our losties found each other. Im thinking since the next parts will be the last I’ll talk about overall themes I liked and my favourite moments as well. 

[fireproofkings]

The making of a sweater series

Part 1 || Part 2

Two things before we start: First, this is a long one and it has a few photos so buckle up if you’re reading. And second, I apologize in advance for the state of my nails in any of the pics, I know they are incredibly awful, but I promise I’ll do them tomorrow.

If you know me, you know I am the worst at keeping up with things, and if not, the fact that I have 7k drafts can give you a pretty good idea.

Last Saturday (July 11th) I went out and bought everything just as I expected, but while I was out shopping, Louis decided to attack us.

That’s one of those things you will always remember what you were doing the moment the news hit. I was buying all the supplies to make Harry’s sweater when Louis announced he was finally free.

My phone was blowing up, and when I went to check why, all of my group chats were screaming, and the lovely Ed (@literlarryreal) was sending me long voice notes telling me all the thoughts she has and let me tell you, it was a ride.

Yes, I cried in public and no, I am not ashamed to say it was not the first time I have done so with something Louis related.

Anyways, getting back on track, I spent way more than I was expecting to, but it’s alright lol. I am confident it’s all going to be worth it.

Under the cut you can find a summary on everything that happened this week with the process, and more pictures of Jack, my dog.

Here’s everything I bought that day. The quantities are exactly what is in the pattern in JW Anderson’s website (plus an extra colour I bought but then found a better match for, which I might use if I run out of any colour). I did end up finding everything, but I had to go to a few different stores to do it. There’s kind of a shortage due to the current situation and the fact that these aren’t essential goods.

I wanted to start that same Saturday, but I decided to finish that scarf I was making before, just so I wouldn’t have to go through all the trouble of changing needles and storing it away where it would probably get messed up, so I finished it and here’s a photo of it:

I ended up doing an infinity scarf, and have some yarn leftover, maybe I’ll do a hat or something like that in the future. Yes, those are my PJ’s don’t judge me.

Then I procrastinated starting the actual sweater for all of Sunday and Monday (12th and 13th). That’s something I tend to do, if you haven’t noticed.

One thing I hadn’t thought of as particularly hard, ended up being something out of my nightmares (I also tend to over exaggerate, if you’re reading this, you’re really getting to know me lol).

That green square is incredibly awful.

The pattern itself isn’t that difficult, but if you have to undo some lines it completely falls apart and you have to start over. This happened to me like three times the first time I attempted it.

Usually it takes me half an hour to 45 minutes to do one square, this one took literally two hours and a half. But it was so much easier and quicker the second time around. Putting in a lifeline and doing tallies in a notepad every time I finished a line helped a lot.

Jack did end up making it better. Even if him laying directly on top of it made it difficult to work.

On the other hand, the black and red jacquard squares were something that had me slightly worried. The technique is kinda confusing and is very easy to mess up if you are not paying attention.

The first few lines I did wrong, but then I learned how to do it properly and while the handling of the multiple strands of yarn is difficult, you get the hang of it pretty quickly.

But then, horror struck.

I realised that for some reason I was doing the squares 12cm long and not 14cm like they are supposed to be. So that panel was going to end up being 6cm shorter than the others in total, which doesn’t seem like much but was definitely going to show.

Here you can see the mess. I had to undo basically two whole squares, since the first one was 14cm (I really don’t know what was going on in my brain) and the second one, which was a jacquard pattern one, could be continued, but those two squares cost me about a whole day of work.

I was so frustrated I decided to stop for the day and take a long hot shower.

I came back to it the next day and Jack made it all better (can you sense a pattern -no pun intended- here?).

So, to wrap it up:

They are lined up in the way they go in the completed sweater. The little notes on top help me keep track of which one is each of them. The numbers in blue show the order in which they were done.

The first one was pretty easy except for the green square I talked about before, I started that one on Tuesday (14th) and finished on Wednesday (15th). That same day I started the second one which I finished early on Thursday (16th), it was really uneventful which I appreciated a lot, apart from my pointer finger hurting from pushing the needle, so I decided to invent some kind of protection with tape and silicone, which failed extremely, because it rides up and falls off.

Here you can see my failed attempt at some kind of protection for my pointer finger. I basically need a thimble, but I can’t find one online.

Maybe the uneventfulness of panel number two was to make up for the absolute nightmare that was the third panel that I had started that same day, the one I talked about being 6cm too short. It threw me off the loop for the rest of the day, which meant I only finished it late on Friday (17th) and by then I was too tired to do anything else.

Yesterday, on Saturday (18th) I started the fourth one, but I didn’t have the energy to work that much, and today, Sunday (19th), I haven’t done much more than a couple of rows.

By this point I have 3 completed back centre panels and another one 3/4 of the way done. I just have that 1/4 and the two side panels (that include shoulder shaping) left to finish the back, and then I have the front, sleeves, cuffs, collar, ribs, and button band to finish the knitting. Then it’s all ready to sew together.

Just as I did with last post, I want to close this off with some pointers for what is coming, just to keep myself on track and look back to later:

This week I want to finish the back and leave it all ready for sewing when I’m done with the rest of the knitting.

I have to write for a fic exchange I wish I had started earlier but I’m still confident on the time I have left, so that will be my priority, and not knitting.

I start classes again on August 3rd and I hope to be finished by then (with both the sweater and the fic lol), I am kinda confident I will be able to do it since I’m kind of 1/3 of the way through, so if I keep the same pace, or an even better one, I’ll be able to make it.

Something I’m not looking forward to is doing the shoulder shaping, I have no idea how to.

I have been worried the yarn I bought isn’t going to be enough (it might be just my anxiety talking), but I think it’s going to be okay since I am nearly 1/3 of the way through on the squares with one of the colours, but I haven’t gone through that amount of yarn yet.

I have made the executive decision to not do the tassels with the left over yarn and to sew the panels and ribbing together right sides together (so the seams will be on the inside) to give it a more polished look, but this might change in the future.

I’m starting to see it take shape, even if only the back, and I’m really excited!!!

If you want to see the other posts in these series go to the top where the other parts are linked or go to the tag here.

[antique-darling]

12 steps backwards

Hi, I’m Carys and I’m an alcoholic. 

It started the same way as practically everyone else; understanding the intoxicating beauty of alcohol, a true social lubricant - and a firm willing suspension of disbelief that it’ll ever happen to you. 

The whole sordid affair began around Christmastime 2006. I was extremely young and very beautiful, and dressed the part of a perfect outcast with my various studs and spikes, my facial piercings mostly resembling that of one who has headbutted a box of map pins. But I was horrifically shy, the shackles of post-puberty still lingering. 

We’re in the UK, so I was handed a bottle of Smirnoff Ice at a house party. The more I drank, the more confident I became. I felt vibrant and stunning, although I was most likely being annoying. Even caught myself my first boyfriend that night, something which I’d never successfully been able to do. I managed to forget the two-day hangover which ensued. 

Thus began a bitter relationship with alcohol, my best friend of over a decade who betrayed me, in the end. 

I lived a 3-minute walk away from my high school, so I would frequently nip home at lunch to swindle some booze my mum had unsuccessfully ‘hidden’ away. She worked every weekday, and my parents had just separated at this point, which definitely made the whole debacle easier. In retrospect, the separation and eventual divorce probably affected me more than I realised.

A string of failed relationships, including an engagement, before I’d even turned 18 shaped me more into this polyp of self-loathing, and a glass of wine would ease the hatred a little more, or I’d down a bottle of something stronger.

By the time I’d reached 16, I decided that I was an adult, and panicked because I wasn’t getting pregnant. Somehow, in my mind, I neglected to recall that stress and abusing alcohol is the opposite of a good environment for a foetus. Over the past decade, I’ve lost count of the number of dead babies to drop out of me. 

 I’m fairly certain I fell in love with the devil when I was 17. He was strong and handsome, and an alcoholic himself. Although at this time, my true alcoholism had not yet fully manifested. This man made it a reality. 

He told me to stop taking my pill because it was making me “moody”. I acquiesced, assuming I was barren anyway. Discovering I was around 6 weeks pregnant was a shock, to say the least. 

I was still in school and he was jobless due to a health condition I like to call chronic laziness and taking all of my money to supplement his drug and alcohol habits. I’d been in abusive relationships before him, and they’re honestly what I probably deserve. I’m constantly drawn to the same sorts of people, despite my better judgment. The problem, therein, lies in me. 

But this man was king. I have endured nothing like the hell he dragged me through since. 

So, the option he gave me was crystal clear; “it’s not very nice being a single mum”. I had just turned 18, and I was so very vulnerable. I had already been corrupted by the 4 men who had came before him, so my self-worth was absolutely nothing. Again, I acquiesced to his demands. 

If I knew all those years ago what I know now, I would have left him and had my child. But he took my choice away from me, he forced a child into me and forced it back out again. He caused me to betray every part of my moral integrity, every single belief that I held dear. And it still feels, to this very day, as painful as it did in 2012. I wish I’d killed myself instead of my baby. I haven’t spoken to this man in many years, but he haunts me daily. The saddest truth is that I’m sure he doesn’t even remember I exist. I know he never loved me, but I loved him with a ferocity which I’ve not felt since.

And I so desperately wanted a child. I still do. It still won’t happen - I’ve cursed myself and I am dealing with the wrath of eternity. Hell is on earth and I have created it. 

So, to absolutely no surprise to anyone, I hit the bottle hard after that. I had to take a week off after the abortion due to antibiotics and opioid painkillers, but the minute I could, I drowned. 

After all, I was 18. I had a drinking permit. 

I spent my entire university career after that point getting blind drunk daily. At my peak, I’d drink cheap bottled cider (but not Frosty Jack’s or White Lightning - I had some class) as if it was cola or something. I’d have wine on a Friday and Saturday night, typically two bottles, and a bottle of vodka every day. This went on for 5 years. 

During this time I was engaged again, to someone I’d met at university. We were together for 4 years, living together, and I remember virtually nothing of the relationship. It was the longest relationship I had ever been in, and sometimes I forget his name. I certainly don’t remember what he looked like. 

Naturally, that relationship broke down when, on the 11th of September 2018, I surrendered. My 12-year relationship with alcohol was over. 

I would wake up next to my partner every day, and the more time I spent not drinking, the more I realised he was a total stranger in my bed. After a month of sobriety, I awoke to the fact I had absolutely no recollection of this person at all, apart from the two times we traveled to Belfast to see his family and friends. Even then, I only remember the actual traveling part. 

We had to live together a month after we had separated, during which time he constantly demanded to know why I’d left him. Simply, “I sobered up”. He had been the most violent, piggish creature of all the men I had ever been with, memories which have only been returning to me in the past year. Sometimes I think, he wasn’t looking for a partner, he was looking for a sex slave. And he still wasn’t as bad as the devil of my younger years. 

Probably ‘coz I was really drunk the whole time. 

So I’m 16 months sober, as of Saturday of this month. I still can’t sleep, I still have headaches and I’ve put on so much weight I can barely recognise myself. It’s bittersweet. I have achieved great things in my life, but I feel like a stranger looking in. I feel like a confused 12-year-old, shy with no confidence and no place in the world. Like the degrees I have are someone else’s, and sure I have my graduation pictures but that’s a different me. That’s not me, surely. My day job is, ironically, bartending. I know I’m fantastic at my persona, but the customers see through the cracks. They’ll ask me “What’s the nicest x? What mixer goes with y?”, and I can never just say “oh, it’s z”, I always have to say “other people usually have this with z”. 

I don’t keep my alcoholism a secret, and most of my regular customers know. And I’ll get the typical diatribe of “oh aren’t you strong and brave, working here and struggling with your recovery??”. I know they mean well, and it’s a lovely compliment to pay. But I don’t feel strong, although it is cathartic when I get to pour drinks away. I feel like a failure. 

I am a fully qualified English teacher in the process of doing my Master’s degree. Staying up til 3am cleaning, after spending 6 hours serving poison to toxic people (although a lot of my regular customers are genuine angels), makes me believe that, despite my achievements on paper, that that is all I’m worth. 

I want to end this monologue on a positive note. In over a year of sobriety, I have learned to go out with my friends, or hang out after work, and not feel so left out. Coffee is now a luxury, opposed to a brown liquid to fix my constant hangover. I even know when coffee tastes burnt now, which is something my former self would never have even considered. I’m eternally grateful for my family of Alcoholics Anonymous. I haven’t been to a meeting in months due to work and uni, but every time I manage to go, it’s as if I’d not missed a single one. 

My family have been nothing but supportive, although my dad still doesn’t really understand it (we were great drinking buddies for a while). My friends are mainly my colleagues at work, and without their support I wouldn’t be alive, most likely. Also they will refuse to serve me alcohol - not that I’ve tried, but I’ve been told so, in order to continue supporting my recovery. 

Since being sober, I’ve surrounded myself with good people. The bad things don’t seem so bad, and every day I’m working on hating myself less. 

Alcohol and/or substance abuse feels like something that won’t happen to you. Unfortunately, it can happen to all of us, and so very quickly. Or, so slowly that you didn’t even register it until you’re sleeping on a bench in the middle of February. 

There is help, free help, and there are probably millions of people suffering too. If you’re suffering, you’re not alone. You never have to be alone. 

https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

https://www.samaritans.org/

[bi-and-happy]

i dare u to answer all the questions on the pride ask game ☺️☺️

Oh boy, here we go!

1. I am bisexual and I use she/her pronouns

2. I first realised I like girls when I was about ten years old, when I started secondary school. Because I also liked boys, I did some classic Repression^TM and convinced myself I was straight, which included a lot of internal homophobia, biphobia and bi erasure. It wasn’t until my second year of uni when I had my first boyfriend that I realised I was never going to have a good and healthy relationship with anyone, let along myself, if I didn’t come to terms with my sexuality and eventually come out

3. I am cisgender and I don’t look particularly androgynous so I have never been misgendered (except one time by a very embarrassed pizza delivery man)

4. The first person I told was my ex-boyfriend (see answer 2!) We had actually been broken up for about 8 months by that point but we were still friends at the time and he’s pansexual, so I knew he’d understand. He was annoyingly nonchalant about it and immediately made inappropriate comments but that actually worked out because we were in an airport so I couldn’t really have an emotional breakdown!

5. When I first came out (and then when I came out to my parents six months later) it was like I’d spent all this time and effort trying to hide this side of myself, and the effort of hiding just got too much. When I told my best friend (who’s a lesbian) it was super chill - I didn’t want it to be a massive deal so I found a time to slip it in, she was very excited that I’d finally told her (she’d known for about two years longer than I did!) and we immediately started talking about all the girls we had crushes on

6. I’ve kind of brushed on some people, but there were two main reactions: “That does not surprise me, I’ve suspected/known for a while” and “Wait? You like men?! I thought you were gay?” The only person who was surprised was my mum. She was very very quiet for a long time (although she gave me a hug so I knew she wasn’t mad) and let my dad do the talking (she did have some not-so-great things to say but it was nothing I hadn’t heard her say before so I had answers prepared). The next day, we had another chat, and she was a bit more positive then. It’s also worth mentioning that this is an ongoing process. I came out to them two and a half years ago now, and we’re still working some things out but we’re in the right direction!

7. Honestly this doesn’t come up very much, mostly because the vast majority of my friends are also bi, and I study performing arts so everyone’s at least a little bit queer. The question I get asked more often is how I can be an openly LGBT+ Christian (which is a whole other conversation which I would be happy to have if anyone is interested!)

8. Flannel. So much flannel. Also birkenstocks in the summer and combat boots (with rainbow laces) in the winter. I sometimes wear dresses (especially in autumn), and I do like pretty dresses/ballgowns when the occasion calls for it (which again, performing arts - sometimes I feel like I live in concert dresses). But my everyday look is fairly semi-butch. I’m working on my top butch energy

9. WHERE TO START. Okay, Jack/Bitty from Check Please; Jack/Ianto from Torchwood; Patsy/Delia from Call the Midwife; Callie/Aaron from the Fosters; Merlin/Arthur from Merlin; Lena/Kara from Supergirl; and my guilty pleasure, Harry/Cedric from Harry Potter (don’t judge me!!)

10. I very rarely leave the house without eyeliner and mascara on, but I rarely wear anything else unless it’s a special occasion. I’m generally of the opinion that if I can start the day with some killer eyeliner wings, you can make that day your bitch

11. Nope! Never experienced dysphoria

12. This isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, but it is stupid because it was said by a gay men. “All these kids these days, in their LGBTQWXYZ community... [goes on to deliberately misgender people]”. Again, I have lots of thoughts on the dynamics of this which I will not unpack unless someone asks me to.

13. My friends!! I only have about two straight friends. I love all my friends, and I love my queer friends, and I love how we’re always there for each other and we always support each other. Even if everyone needs to stop dating within the friendship group.

14. See answer 12! The politics about different identities really annoy me. Non-binary people exist! Ace and aro people are part of the LGBT+ community! Bi and pan are different but overlapping identities and neither is better or worse than the other! So much infighting! Bi girls will not leave lesbians for a man! So much infighting.

15. I have never been and I’m out of town this year as well and I’m absolutely heartbroken!! I usually spend my summers working on various week-long projects around the country, and they always manage to bugger up any pride plans I had!

16. Ooooh absolute favourite? Probably Stephanie Beatriz. Followed by Kristen Stewart. And Tom Daley.

17. I had a boyfriend for a short time in my second year, we met at uni. Otherwise, I’ve been a single pringle!

18. I HAVE SO MANY. Absolute, complete, 100% favourite? The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. YOU ALL HAVE TO READ THIS OH MY GOODNESS. 

19. I’ve experienced more discrimination as a woman than as a member of the LGBT+ community! That being said, I was bullied in years 7-9 which included lots of calling me a lesbian, because children aren’t creative in their bullying and this was 2006. That definitely taught me to be ashamed of my feelings for girls.

20. Pride!! I love that film. Also Torchwood!

21. I’ll admit I don’t follow that many LGBT+ bloggers/vloggers... sorry!!

22. Queer!!! (And whether or not it should be defined primarily as a slur is also up for debate; again, I’ll expand if anyone wants me to.)

23. Yes yes yes! I have been to a grand total of three gay bars and loved all of them. Especially that last one. Because that was the one where I got drunk and snogged a girl which was great.

24. I’m a cisgender woman, and most of my thoughts about my gender link with my reading into feminist reading and my constant striving to become a better intersectional feminist!

25. I like the thought of having children. I do not like the idea of being pregnant and giving birth. For me, children is always something that comes as part of a relationship and probably marriage (spot the Christian upbringing!). I’m not definite either way; it’s a decision I would want to make with a future partner, as we created a family.

26. Bi people exist! You’re one of them! Stop hating yourself! Stop using your Christian upbringing as an excuse to ignore anything relating to your sexuality!

27. Gender roles are complete bullshit. Every couple is different, the strengths each member of the couple brings will be different, and it’s up to them to find their dynamic, regardless of how closely it resembles traditional gender roles.

28. Not really! Only that since coming out I’ve felt less pressure to be feminine

29. It’s bloody hard. Even if we’re loud and proud and yelling about it and having a good time, each and every one of us has been through shit to get here.

30. Because it’s who I am! I’m proud to be LGBT+ because it’s who I am, and it’s a community that has come so far and is still making incredible strives forward but is subjected to so much pain and yet we keep going. Much love to you all!

Wow, I’m exhausted after that. Feel free to ask any questions about anything I said there! I touched on a lot of stuff. Much love!! xxx

[orionsangel86]

Season 14 Wishlist

Alrighty then! As per the last few season’s, each autumn before the season premier I will write a wishlist of things that hopefully will happen in the coming season, which I will then go through once the season is over.

For those of you curious:

Here is my wishlist for season 12 and here is my season 12 wishlist review

Here is my wishlist for season 13 and here is my season 13 wishlist review

Now as a slight disclaimer I need to stress that this isn’t meta, or me promising anything to happen (since I’m not a showrunner nor psychic) and is purely meant for fun - having said that most of the items on my wishlist are at least somewhat realistic wishes and within the realms (at least in my opinion) of actually happening.

So without further rambling here we go:

A decent arc for Michael!Dean. Yes, we all expect it to only last 3 episodes. which I find deeply disappointing. I would prefer if things are not as they seem and it turns out to last far longer than that.

Scenes inside Dean’s head. Like we got with both Cas and Sam when they were possessed, I really want to know where Michael has got Dean stashed away inside his head - and exactly what kind of experience that is for him. I can think of a whole bunch of different ways that could go - will Michael put Dean through hell? Or will he distract him the way of the Djinn with his idea of heaven? I am extremely excited by this idea and hope they don’t pass on the potential.

The missing scene from 13x23 when Dean said yes to Michael. There was definitely more to that and I hope so much we will see it - though I don’t think this is particularly likely.

Cas’s grief. Obviously. Last year I was all about Dean’s grief arc. This year, I need Cas’s to be just as bad. This is 10 years since the original story. Stopping Michael and changing allegiance to stand with Dean was Cas’s origin story - Remember how he reacted in season 5 when Dean was thinking about saying yes to Michael? Oh ho ho I can’t even begin to imagine how this will affect Cas. I want this to be a mirror of last year, and far worse than season 10. 

Sam’s continued leadership role. Now where I want to see Cas absolutely broken with grief over Dean’s possession, what I think would compliment it perfectly is Sam’s fearsome determination and functional leadership. It would be a great way to show how far the brothers have come to breaking the toxic codependency which has bound them to each other - that Sam is capable of functioning without Dean and without immediately trying to sell his soul or give his life for his brother. 

Sam and Cas working together. One of the things that I really hated about the start of season 10, was that without Dean around, Sam and Cas’s relationship just fell apart, and Sam was made to look pretty much like a douche by the show implying he had kicked Cas out of the bunker and blamed him for breaking his shoulder?!? (I found the whole thing very out of character for Sam but then destiel’s continued refusal to become canon tends to make Sam look occasionally douchey - but that is a meta for another day). Give me Sam and Cas as a team. Supporting each other in their grief and acting like the brothers (in-law) that they are.

Jack and Cas father/son bonding time - I mean I saw the promo and it looks like Jack is gonna be grounded for a little while... >.> but once he has written 100 lines of “I will not suggest killing my dad in front of my father” I think Cas will forgive him. I’d like to see Cas trying to teach Jack human things or mundane tasks with Dean watching them with a fond expression!

Addressing Dean’s abuse trauma - this one has been going around on tumblr recently so I’m latching on to other wonderful meta a bit here, but since last season explored Sam’s Lucifer trauma (and to an extent Cas’s Naomi trauma), it would be fitting if this Michael!Dean arc is followed up with an arc of recovery for Dean, not just from Michael, but from everything he has suffered since the apocalypse.

More seeing “behind the mask” with Dean. I think he has already massively grown into himself and out of his fathers shadow, but I’d just like more examples like with the chick flicks and the cucumber water.

Cas truly breaking free from heaven. Now I think that the ideal situation would be that Cas is the one to fix heaven, and that he leaves the angels by choice, and with them all respecting him and being thankful to him. But Cas needs to start to break free from that duty and obligation that he still feels to heaven. Even in season 13 he carried that guilt, and whilst this is more endgame stuff, I desperately want to see more progress on this. 

More hints towards Cas desiring human things and human feelings and basically desiring humanity for himself (no jokes guys, this time I DON’T mean Dean). I am a staunch human!Cas endgame girl after all. The show spent a lot of time in season 9 and 10 building on this for Cas and then it went a bit quiet. I’d like to see those threads picked up again.

In fact, when it comes to Cas, how about he starts answering some of those hundreds of unanswered questions that have been thrown at him since Carver era? How about he finds his place, where he belongs and AS WHAT in general? Cas, you have a home now and a family. Stop lingering in doorways. 

Sam showing us more of his personality. I think now that his Lucifer trauma has been somewhat addressed, Sam should be a bit lighter and more carefree. I’d like to know some more about him other than his obsession with serial killers which is frankly a worrying hobby Sam!

Mary and Cas bonding - in fact I just want to see all of the rest of Dean’s family bonding with Cas more. I want more knowing looks from Mary and even a conversation about the topic - oh wouldn’t that be a dream!

Dean coming out of the closet. Yes yes I know I know. Every year... But it is 20gayteen and next year is 20BITEEN and dammit the world is full of rainbows right now - Bert and Ernie made it official... Why can’t Dean Winchester? I’m totally cool with someone slipping THIS to Dabb. I won’t even ask for credit. ;)

Last year I wanted Sam to build on his relationships outside of Dean and we did pretty well last year with that. But of course, I want more. Maybe some Sam x Rowena? I’m game. 

On that note WITCH!SAM. I am still a huge lover of Sam practicing magick. It’s a story line with so much potential.

More badass ladies kicking ass. Aww man we were kinda blessed with this last year weren’t we? Keep it up show. Please keep it up.

Billie continuing to play a large role as Death. I find her captivating and want more.

Wayward Sisters returning. It still hurts, but we need to know what happens next.

JODY AND CAS NEED TO MEET GODDAMMIT. Also I want Cas to reunite with Claire again.

As per last year: The return of the mixtape. BRING BACK THE MIXTAPE (yup I’m gonna wish for it until I get it).

Please dress Cas up. The closest we got last year was the cowboy hat and the dreadful nazi uniform of AU Cas. Why can’t we have him in plaid? PLEASE.

Absolutely no Lucifer, Lucifer vessel or any hint of Mark Pellegrino. Plus no Kentucky fried chicken pantomime villains either. I’ll be happy if season 14 is free from this nonsense.

Saving the best for last, what do I always wish for above all else? You guessed it - DESTIEL. Do I want it to be canon? Well yes eventually of course. But in season 14 my wish is for their story to continue as it did in early season 13. More obvious destiel content, more of destiel built into the narrative and ideally, made explicit. A love confession? Even if only to a third party? That is undeniably romantic. Zero “no homo’s” would be nice. I just wish for further development on the destiel narrative. That is all. 

As always feel free to add to this with your own wishes! 

BRING ON SEASON 14!! :D

[prettyrosemistress]

Australian Made Swiftie Approach To Lover

                                      written by Kim Jayne Dowling

                                         27th August 2019, 9:27pm

So here it goes. I’ve been reading a lot of articles about Taylor Swift’s new album “Lover” which came out on Friday 23rd August. However, and it could be my biased opinion as a hardcore and long dedicated ‘swiftie’ but I feel that upon judging the tracks, a few points have been off the mark. Having been a listener to Ms Swift’s music for the past 12 years (note I remember the date - 27th February 2007), I believe this makes me someone who understands the growth but yet the essence of Taylor as a songwriter. Leading up to this album, she herself described this album as a “songwriter’s journey” and now that I have listened to this album so much, I can now begin to sing the lyrics to myself acapella, I agree with this wholeheartedly. Sure, there are rises in this where bubblegum pop music production was the focus, but I sincerely believe that the album contains a message behind every lyric. Yes, kids I’m even talking about ‘ME!’ (see what I did there?). So here we go, this is my opinions of each track, because as a swiftie, I must admit this is the first album since RED that I consider has not a single skip. So without further ado, Lover this one’s for you…

1.  I Forgot That You Existed

A fantastic opener in my opinion and definitely holds the message of leaving a dark side of life behind. True, this might not be the perfect number one hit song, but it’s one that leaves you shaking off the feeling of dread of someone who caused you the deepest anxiety and now you can just leap back to being the person you are meant to be. 3 out of 5 stars.

2.  Cruel Summer

To be honest, I heard this one and said out loud, alone on a Friday night - BOP! Yes, I used incorrect language and really connected to the lyrics. We have all had those nights where you get a little too drunk and think you’ve found the one, only to realise later you’ve been a fool, but look back and say, yep, that was fun. 4 out of 5 stars.

3. Lover

This song is classic Taylor, but with maturity. I feel like this is the song she has been trying to write since the beginning. The hooks, the guitar, the beautiful beat...it’s like a warm hug on Christmas morning. 5 out of 5 stars.

4. The Man

As a woman who has worked in ‘men’s industries’ for the past 9 years, I can relate to these lyrics. Sitting in lunch rooms and listening to how they talk about their weekends and then realising that how I spent mine was the same, yet they give me the look like ‘wow’ (dulling that one down). This song is an anthem. Plus the pop production is very current to what is popular, so is a perfect winner. 5 out of 5 stars.

5. The Archer

Track Five Syndrome - check. Before this song, All Too Well was the Track 5 song that I could only relate to every single word. Now that we have The Archer, this makes two. Every anxiety and the beautiful 1980’s inspired production, makes this one for the ages. 5 out of 5 stars.

6. I Think He Knows

Immediately when I listened to the album, this one didn’t stand out too much, but now that I’ve listened to this a few times, I can now admit this is definitely an anthem, a bit of unrequited soul and new beginnings. This one reminds you of a night out on a repeat date where you can’t help but glance a look just because your in full force falling mode. 3 out of 5 stars.

7. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

Again, at first I wasn’t sure of this song because of the production compared to the lyrics. This is potentially one of the best pieces of story songwriting on the album. I think this one truly would shine as an acoustic ballad, which I am hoping is brought out on tour? (hint Taylor, hint hint?). 4 out of 5 stars.

8. Paper Rings

This one just makes you want to get up and dance. The old school punk pop feeling to the production, the count in to the chorus (hello Jack!), the lyrics. Now, if only I had a honey I want to marry, I’d serenade them with this in a dance number. 4 out of 5 stars.

9. Cornelia Street

Hands down, absolute favourite on the album. Solely written by Taylor and it speaks completely of her and her ability to tell the emotions of a memory. The final message is one of love, but one that tells of the anxieties once you’ve found love and how much it would break you to see it end. The story, the lyrics, the production, the ability to be great both as a studio song or live. 5 out of 5 stars.

10. Death By A Thousand Cuts

I actually expected a lot more out of this when seeing the title. I was expecting a slow and soppy heartbreaking ballad. Instead, I was presented with a cute bubblegum pop breakup anthem. Looking at the lyrics this could easily be covered and turned into a minor key sort of song, but I suppose this puts a positive spin on a relationship ending. 3 out of 5 stars.

11. London Boy

This one is just very very cute. Presenting us with the idea of creating a new home for yourself, that is completely different to what you are used to, but showing that being committed and in love with someone can change your perspective and ideals in life. 3 out of 5 stars.

12. Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)

Hands down, saddest song on the album. On first listen, I was bawling my eyes out. I would find it hard to believe if anyone out there could listen to this and not relate to it. The simple country melody and harmonies and a tale of watching someone very close to you go through a life challenging battle. 5 out of 5 stars.

13. False God

THAT SAXOPHONE THOUGH. Okay, first of all, the saxophone is hands down my favourite instrument ever existed, so any song that presents this will be an instant hit with me. Then, we listen to the lyrics and this is a very good description of a mature adult relationship where love creates the ideals you live by. If Dress on reputation was one of your favourites, then False God is like the older and wiser sibling that it aspires to be. 5 out of 5 stars.

14. You Need To Calm Down

I’m not usually one to hold Taylor’s pop anthems at the top of my list in an album ranking, but this one and it’s message that love is valid in any form it comes in has me wanting to shout these lyrics from the rooftops. 4 out of 5 stars.

15. Afterglow

So this one has become a bit of a swiftie favourite (from what I’m seeing on my feeds) and whilst I can admit, the production and writing value is superb, I’m failing to connect to it. Yes, it's a very valid song for the phases of a relationship, so perhaps one day I’ll see it in another light (oh wow, my ability to form words is on point.) 3 out of 5 stars.

16. ME! (feat. Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco)

Okay, so everyone hates on this song. But it’s a carefree bubblegum pop song, it's not meant to be the best song on the album. The lyrics are catching and the message is pure, plus anything Brendon does is amazing. This song is fun with or without the spelling is fun line. It makes me just instantly happy listening to it. That’s the sign of a good number one pop song. 3 out of 5 stars.

17. It’s Nice To Have A Friend

So this is a side to Taylor’s writing I’ve never heard and I kinda like it. It’s more of a rhyme, as the structure is not your typical pop song. Short and sweet and really makes you think about the memories you share with anyone you can call a friend and how you got there. 4 out of 5 stars.

18. Daylight

Again, sole Taylor always shines through. This is a perfect way to finish and perfect album. The throwback to RED and how her notion of love has changed, really made me smile on this one. It sounds simple and beautiful. The final spoken word voice memo on the end, shows that Taylor is back and she’s happier than ever. 5 out of 5 stars.

So there you have it, this is my interpretation of in my opinion an album that Taylor was working up to her whole life and it has paid off swimmingly. An overall 4 and a half stars from me, and I cannot wait to see how this is further presenting when it comes to live performance, music videos or anything else the brilliant mind of Taylor Swift might come up with. So for those with a tainted view where they refuse to listen because of how others see her, for a healthier option...

                                       stream Lover now

@taylorswift

[cards-onthetable]

Hi, is this Jamko Grievances Hotline?

(This is it y’all, Aussie’s letting loose. Straight text is hers; any of my own additions are italicized. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, AUSSIE!)

My perception of Eddie season 4 - younger than Jamie, sheltered upbringing, bit of a private school princess as we say here. Rookie so she has a steep learning curve ahead of her. All pretty normal I think. Fyi I don't buy the BS that nobody saw their chemistry etc behind the scenes. Her whole "You're my first Reagan, be gentle" was to me the very beginning of this farce. It was obvious she was brought into the show to be his eventual love interest.

Season 5 - 1st episode Jamie loses his shit when Eddie pushed to the ground. Eddie apparently doesn't realise Jamie wants to jump her bones? doubt it but ok writers. His talk with Erin about Teresa Mancini being his first crush because Jamie likes opinionated bossy women etc. So writers/producers clearly want idea in viewers minds that yeah he wants her but noble, never-screw-your-partner Jamie Reagan denies it and Eddie supposedly remains oblivious.

Episode 2 - Jamie sides with Kara Walsh much to Eddie's disgust. It's Eddie that talks about bringing stink back with him etc after he partners with Walsh. It's Eddie talking about nobody trusts a rat etc etc. (geez I hate season 9)

The rest of the season passes with Eddie being kidnapped  (Jamie handled that smoothly didn't he)? and  Eddie's first kill. He wants to be there for her. Eddie also wants him there. Ok I get slow burn in TV shows but they in my mind have already crossed lines emotionally and MR HARVARD GRAD on some level has to know this. Eddie always showed signs of knowing she had feelings in my opinion.

Eddie undercover and Jamie loses his shit with Danny about getting his partner out etc. Danny and Maria knew about their feelings. Hell seems basically the entire precinct did but ok this slow burn shit continues all the while Jamie believing can't go there because dangerous on job blah blah blah. Sorry but you are already compromised. (AGREED. They’ve been emotionally compromised since early on.)

Season 6 - More interesting for me because Eddie started to be more his equal I felt. She would express opinions and argue more with him. But I did not like her "do you know who my partner's father is" BS (same, I still struggle to categorize that as a momentary lapse in judgment? A scared gut reaction when she got confronted? Not sure, but it was gross). They also had a fight in episode 11 when Eddie got them assigned to a detective detail. Eddie's "I'm not gonna apologise for wanting a career". Opinionated Eddie on display. You know the type Jamie is always attracted to. But still this slow burn BS continues. 

Season 7 - Well we all know how that played out. The year they confess feelings (no, the year Eddie confessed feelings in a moving, vulnerable moment and Jamie stammered about bad ideas and roads they’ve been down before. 😒😒), pash, attend out of town weddings together and get into fights. But yeah ok JUST PARTNERS. Honestly fuck off BB it's just a farce. Oh wait we are now going to ignore the kiss etc. Erase it from your memories like it never happened folks. UGH UGH UGH.

Season 8 - Mostly about Danny and losing Linda at first. OK I can deal with that. Jamko dinner date at the Chinese restaurant and we're reviving the sexual tension again. JUST FUCK ALREADY. But nope surprise Eddie has a boyfriend called Barry. Well she is entitled to her life considering the WE ARE JUST PARTNERS BS!! But apparently this boyfriend is enough to make Jamie stop and think as opposed to the other men that have come and gone. Yeah she got shot, Jamie could've lost her etc etc. Barry mentioned again so Eddie was still with him or had very recently split oh hey surprise WE'RE ENGAGED - (Adam Sandler starts in my head BUT IT ALL WAS BULLSHIT IT WAS A GODDAMN JOKE).

As an aside I absolutely hated the episode where Eddie recognised the absolute pig from her past and used her job to get even. Showing Eddie to be that unprofessional and needing to be brought to heel by Jamie and Erin really pissed  me off. That right there is why Eddie is considered beneath Jamie by the I hate Eddie brigade. I understand being shocked running into the guy but showing Eddie to have such poor judgement just didn't sit well. And hey T.O. you failed cos you probably should've taught her that you can't use your authority for personal gain but clearly you didn't but you know it's wrong so the all powerful Reagans can get you out of the trouble silly little Eddie tried to get herself in.

Season 9 - ARE THEY FUCKING JOKING? 

1 - Still working together because their judgement won't be affected in a negative way. oops Eddie trapped in fire and Jamie loses his shit.  But ok engaged and working together CHANGES NOTHING

2 - Jamie promoted and getting transferred and immediately Eddie brings up putting in for a transfer. He says no. He then requests her. She says no. Good maybe they really will let them be separated at work which given it meant Eddie basically relegated to family dinners surprised me.

3 - Oh my guy's being talked about meanly. This won't do. FYI I actually was ok with Jamie appearing a bit irritated when she arrived at work as his girlfriend. I like to keep home and personal separate so I could understand his less than thrilled reaction but that's not everyone's cup of tea and I understand that. But hey spoiler BB his colleagues have seen his girlfriend you morons, so transferring her into work there by end of episode and pretending people don't know IS BULLSHIT

4 - Think I already discussed this with @ontherockswithsalt but I was irritated. Jamie made it clear he did not trust that detective and Eddie seemed to see it solely as an attack on her capabilities. Old Eddie I think would've at least listened. But SHIT goes wrong and it is Jamie coming to rescue Eddie. I understood why the majority felt Jamie over stepped and Eddie is trained etc. But she had found herself in an out of control situation because she was pinned with breath knocked out of her and help was not coming until it had gone further. Jamie is aware of what this arse would be rapist is doing. He is aware of Eddie's history with sexual assault. He does not trust this detective. THE MAN IN JAMIE WILL ALWAYS PROTECT HIS WOMAN WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY WORKING TOGETHER IS TOTAL BULLSHIT KEVIN WADE AND YOU KNOW IT. That was not Sergeant  Reagan that was ANGRY JAMIE out to play. But Eddie is upset which i get because she feels it's an attack on her capabilities and no chick is gonna be happy with that and she talks about "we agreed we'd separate work and home Jamie you gotta choose". 

5 - It was Eddie telling Sean about what it means to be a Reagan, higher standards etc etc. Oh look a little bit of affection seeing Jack off. Works for me because they are at home, not working. 

6 - He puts both Maya and Eddie on foot patrol AND SHE DEFENDS HIM? Oh come on Old Eddie is not that stupid. Sorry it's Eddie 2.0 this season, I forgot. So again it's Jamie Reagan the HARVARD GRAD telling her that was a mistake well NO SHIT and old Eddie wouldn't have done it.

7 - I kinda enjoyed that low growl as he went to kiss her in the kitchen. Her mum's a delight but to me supportive Jamie was on display this episode because they were at home. He can be Jamie there. At work he's supposedly Sergeant Reagan not Jamie.

8 - Jamie upset with his decision and Eddie is supportive. Only really saw them at home so nothing really annoyed me here.

9 - Eddie and Maya and 2 others supposedly bullied and Jamie has to explain why it's a bad look. Not convinced old Eddie would be so keen to just let the loud mouths go but maybe the point was to suggest Eddie really not that capable without Jamie by her side? Oh no it's not that because Eddie caught the wanted killer. You girl. Then their boss tells Frank he's not blowing smoke when praising them. So what their CO does know?

10 - NO NO NO. EDDIE FLAT OUT LIES WHEN ASKED BY MAYA HOW LONG THEY BEEN SLEEPING TOGETHER. BUT OH NO JAMIE IN A SHOOT OUT AND HERE COMES EDDIE RUNNING SERGEANT REAGAN ARE YOU OK WITH THE PUPPY EYES. But ok sure Maya and co believe you aren't screwing. BULLSHIT

11 - Jamie stuffs up. Did that actually happen? He makes a mistake someone gets shot and nothing is said? SAY WHAT? Also Eddie has to pull Jamie off the shooter and is calling him Jamie which apparently is wrong so again THEY ALL KNOW YOU ARE SCREWING FOLKS.

12 - I'm annoyed that anyone can mention 100k and wedding in same breath but hey maybe that's really what a wedding in NYC costs. Wedding talk bores me so I found that episode blah. He certainly needs to learn to express himself better. The venue seemed ok I guess.

13 - Wedding dress description to the guy you gonna marry? I'm bored. Oh wait personal and professional lives must be separated so yeah it seems really logical to therefore be discussing their issues at work. What's this did Jamie just tell her he loves her in busy precinct? Ok maybe it's me who has a head injury because I thought we were still playing secret squirrel.

14 - Not that much Jamko really but hey Henry while I understand Danny's point I am firmly team Jamie because how on Earth can he maintain any discipline/control when his own brother totally disregards him? Henry and Frank care more about Frank's precious job and the family name. OH Fuck Me Frank Reagan's bullshit is a separate rant. Did love the dinner table spat though. Give me more of that. Also kinda impresses by that saga at the end.

15 - we've discussed this

16 - Nice to see them working together I guess 

17 - Maya corrupt. I'm ho hum in a way. I kinda think making the first black recurring police officer corrupt plays into the ‘blue bloods is racist’ crowd but I really don't know enough about the culture there. I did like Jamie having her arrested  at roll call because I'm all for sending a message. Again this woking together and screwing is BS but hey that's the theme of the season.

18 - Who knows I haven't seen much but I'm over it. IT DOES NOT WORK. END OF STORY.

But in closing Eddie does look like can't be trusted in my opinion because she came to the new precinct that was known to be trouble. And for a year her and her boss have been lying. Jamie has the Sergeant has power. Eddie does not. Given how rats are seen how does Eddie's position not come with major blow back when all is revealed? Jamie can't shield her cos that'd be playing favourites and hey we keep work and home separate (except for when we don't) BECAUSE IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.

If the go ahead with season 10 and I'm silly enough to watch I am hoping for serious fallout. I want Eddie ostracised at work because I think that is realistic and they supposedly pride themselves on being real. I think it would be interesting character development for Eddie and also for Jamie because HEY HARVARD HOW'S BEING A BULLSHIT ARTIST WORKING FOR YA? I'd like to see HARVARD have to grapple with how his stupidity has truly affected the woman he loves. And hey maybe Eddie can return to her old self.

This dummy spit written and authorised by Aussie.

Sorry if I've broken your eyes due to eye rolling.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x22 “Exodus”

“WATCH THIS SHOW” they said. “IT’LL BE FUN” they said. cue me being very stressed out for two hours straight

02:38pm

am i looking forward to this, with absolute confidence that nothing terrible and unfortunate will happen because it’s the deadly duo writing this and it’s near the end of the season and last episode was the whiplashiest of whiplashes? NOPE

am i gonna watch it anyway? .......yeah

hopes: nobody we care about dies

-

02:43

I DID NOT WANT THIS RECAP

SAMMY DID NOT DESERVE THAT

but also i still haven’t seen a captioned giftset of the moment cas said to dean “dean, he’s gone, we can’t save him”

‘cause wow as far as destiel moments go, that’s a heck of a lot of trust for dean, and a heck of a lot of concern and care on cas’ part

-

02:46

lucifer: your name is jack

jack: and yours is lucifer

i don’t even know why i laughed but i did??? i don’t think that was meant to be funny

-

02:48

lucifer: don’t you think that’s his choice?

cas: no

the abusive dad vs protective family saga continues

-

also i just realised for MONTHS/years? i’ve been using the 24-hour clock on my laptop and didn’t even notice how much i didn’t like it until just now, and i just changed it, and AAH THIS IS BETTER IT SAYS 02:49 INSTEAD OF 14:49 AND I DON’T ACCIDENTALLY TYPE 4:49 WHEN WRITING THESE POSTS

-

actually in terms of abusive parents vs protective families (expanding on what i said last week), i kinda feel like right now the writers are kinda toning down how bad it can be. lucifer’s so chill about this, kinda, and i’ve known families whose estranged parent is almost a perfect match for lucifer’s behaviour here:

they’ll offer the kid an incredible gift without telling the other parent(s), something the kid can’t refuse because of how badly they want/need it, and the parents can’t refuse without being the bad guy(s), and the whole family then becomes eternally indebted to the abusive parent and is obliged to give them money/time/rights with their child, with the threat of violence, property destroyed, access to said property removed, or instigated legal proceedings if they refuse.

plus the kid is often too young or innocent to understand, they just see an extra parent who gives them nice things, and for a kid from a broken home with not enough to go around, they don’t see the downside, and they maybe never see the threat their parents are under. or they’re physically or mentally abused by their parent(s), but think it’s okay because the parent(s) “apologises” or bribes them with nice things. or if the protective parent(s) try and keep them away from the abusive parent, the kid sees themselves as being deprived of that parent’s love

long story short, people can be shitty, and lucifer probably has the potential to be much worse than just standing around and having a casual discussion

i feel like the extended winchester family verbally defending jack is not gonna be enough, and lucifer’s gonna wanna take back sam, and destroy more while he’s at it

like an “if i can’t have it, nobody can have it” sort of thing

-

03:03

eyyy felicia day is in the credits

-

03:04

hug!!!!!!!!!!!

nawww the lil tiny nuzzle dean does with his chin before pulling away

-

03:07

YEAH MARY YOU PUNCH THE DEVIL IN THE FACE

!!!

AGAIN!!!

cas kinda looked like he was expecting that

-

03:09

i was busy admiring how mary’s hair was perfectly curly 

and then by the next shot it was all limp and sad

if the weather was humid i guess it melted the curl between takes

-

but also MARY WHAT THE HELL

YOU DON’T WANNA ABANDON ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE AU

BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR SMOL NEEDY HERO CHILDREN

??????

i mean i get it bUT ALSO NO I DON’T

-

also my face is >:| because they cut to cas and lucifer in the middle of mary and dean having a super important conversation

usually it’s not jarring but THAT WAS JARRING

eehh the deadly duo trademark is all over this

-

03:15

sam: mom doesn’t wanna leave these people.

sam: ...

sam: so let’s take ‘em with us

YEAH NOW THAT’S A PLAN

MUCH BETTER

take charlie and bobby too okay please

..........aw man now i said that, i get the terrible feeling that one or both of them is gonna go out in a blaze of glory instead, or stay on the sinking ship for no good reason other than because the writers don’t know what else to do with them

edit: i mean there’s still next episode.... (best case, they all survive and get storylines next season)

-

03:20

see all the stuff lucifer is telling jack is true, and it does remove the blame from the CONCEPT of lucifer

but the personality is lucifer is BAD AND ABUSIVE

like you don’t have to commit horrible crimes to be a bad person to be around

he corrupts the will of others, he tortures them emotionally, he manipulates them

none of those things are first-degree murder, or the great oppression of the entire human race, but they are Bad Things For A Father To Be

-

03:23

lucifer: i have done bad things, but i just want the opportunity to get better. doesn’t everybody? don’t you?

i actually feel sick ‘cause this is sooooooo very very dangerous

cas was right, talking to lucifer is bad

yeah, he says all the right things. anyone could give him the benefit of the doubt, and perhaps say sure, lucifer’s changed ‘cause he has a kid now, but he PROVED in bringing sam back to life that he hasn’t changed

and not just because of the “i’mma bring jack a gift he can’t refuse thing”, but the “i’mma kill sam again if he doesn’t agree to this” thing

lucifer is a manipulative, blackmailing, flaming trash baby and jack needs better. lucifer might treat jack himself with genuine love, but he’ll destroy everyone and everything around him in doing so

-

03:28

also? i relate so hard to the fact dean, sam, and cas all see and know the real lucifer, and lucifer’s putting on a show for jack

i think the people i’ve personally felt the least safe around in the past, especially growing up, are the people who are perfectly sweet when you’re in company and then become bullies as soon as the adults/parents/protectors are out of earshot

and there’s no way to prove to your protectors that you’re being hurt because all they see is “a nice person” or “ohh they’re such a sweetie”

i mean it’s the other way around for team free will and jack, where tfw see the real thing and jack sees the perfect angel but yeah

-

03:42

ketch: take the b&o railroad......straight to hell

good line tbh

-

03:43

angel to ketch: i’ve sent for an expert in these matters

probably gonna be other ketch

-

03:44

WHOA DARK CAS

WAY BETTER

he has a twitchy hamster face

where does misha get these ideas

i kinda wanna draw whiskers on dark!cas ???

-

03:46

THE FACT DEAN CAN GIVE CAS INSTRUCTIONS JUST BY FLUTTERING HIS EYELASHES

and the way he moves his eyes is so soft and gentle and subtle too

it makes my heart feel a thing tbh

even though cas is torturing someone

ugh nonverbal communication is so sexy

-

03:52

DARK CAS IS GERMAN ?????

and there’s........something misha-like in his smile?? that’s weird

-

03:54

I AM INTENSELY UNCOMFORTABLE

his two different eyes are cool though

maybe it’s just a trick of the light, or a very subtle contact lens

-

03:55

fuck yeah that coat

but why is he german, other than clearly being a nazi-inspired character

-

is it just me or is this legitimately the scariest of all misha’s characters

i want to run away and hide

-

actually i kinda wanna cry

-

03:59

that’s better

GOOD CAS, PLZ DESTROY NAZI CAS

-

04:02

ketch: “well helloo~”

ketch: “are you... actually saving me? about bloody time”

gayyyyyyyy

biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

also maybe definitely a destiel parallel from that time cas beat dean up to stop him saying yes to micheal

-

04:05

um?????

that smile when real!cas dragged the blade down dark!cas throat ?????

-

04:08

jack’s like LET ME DO THE THING EVERYONE’S BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR MONTHS/YEARS

IN ONE HOUR

-

04:11

fuck yeah mary

lookin all swish at the back of the war bus

-

04:12

????????????????????

??????????????????????????????????

hOW DID THEY GET THE BUS THROUGH THE TUNNEL THAT HAD THE VAMPIRES IN

DID THEY TAKE THE MOUNTAIN ROUTE THAT WOULD’VE TAKEN SEVERAL DAYS???

WHAT???????????????????

-

04:16

MY HEART IS POUNDING

C’MON EVERYONE YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

-

04:17

mary, bobby, ketch, charlie, jack are safe!!!! SAVE EVERYONE!!! QUICK QUICK

NOBODY LEFT BEHIND PLEASE

except lucifer maybe

except that would probably be bad in the long run

-

CAS IS SAFE

YAH C;MON!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M SO STRESSED RN

fuckin feel like i’m trying to pull ducklings one by one through a fence before a dog gets them FUCK

/sobs to self

-

04:19

I;M GONBA HEVA FUCKING HEART ATACK FUHF

-

04:20

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE BLACK GUY

DO THESE WRITERS LIKE.. HAVE A FETISH FOR DEAD BLACK PEOPLE

WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM

AND THE CAMERA ALWAYS LINGERS MORE WHEN IT’S THESE WRITERS I’M PRETTY SURE??? someone do a test, go find all the dead black people and check which writers/editors/directors leave the camera lingering for longest

istg these writers do it more often and for longer

-

04:24

aw MAAAAN :C

dean’s “gaBE nO” though. :c :c :c

-

04:26

everyone except gabe :c :c :c

(and no lucifer...........like i said, great now, baaaaaad in the long run)

-

04:29

nobody mentions cas but he’s still there, looking all pretty and being a good, wholesome bean

-

04:30

:C

-

04:30

SEE? BAD

VERY BAD

-

04:33pm

it ends

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man that was 

........a lot

overall a good ‘un but STILL VERY STRESSFUL

i need a nice calming shower after that, i smell like !!!!!anxiety!!!!

9/10, loses a point JUST BECAUSE OF HOW STRESSFUL IT WAS TO WATCH. THIS WAS NOT FUN AT ALL

BUT STILL GOOD??

I DUNNO MAN I JUST WANT A SHOW WITH THESE EXACT CHARACTERS JUST HANGING AROUND AND BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER AND FALLING IN LOVE AND HEALING EACH OTHER EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND BAKING CAKES AND RAISING CHILDREN

to be fair though, my endless almost-what-i-wanted-but-not-quite dissatisfaction with this show keeps driving me to write 81+ fanfics where nice things happen 

so

win-win????

but this show would still be better with dean/cas cuddles let’s be real

[beardedwinnerobject-blog]

home appliances insurance quotes

"home appliances insurance quotes

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BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Ok so i was just curious to know that if i buy the new Seat Ibizia 1.4 (09-onwards) in the SE trim level, with an insurance group of 3, if i was then to add a factory fitted bodykit from SEAT to replicate the Cupra model would this rise the insurance group and costs? This is what i was thinking of getting for it: http://seatepac.gedas.co.uk/productdetail.aspx?p_no=ZGB6J3071670""

How much i should pay to cancel car insurance?

Hello, i bought car insurance in one of the most popular Northern Ireland car insurance company a month ago. I didn't have UK licenses yet, so the price was very high.The car was Citroen Saxo 1.1l. I sold it and i want to insure a new car but when i quote on that company then i get a very displeasing result and with my financial situation i wont be able to pay it. Other company would Give a look at my insurance details for a Citroen Saxo East Coast 1.1l Anual premium is  1512.40 Insurance Premium Tax @ 5.00 %  75.62 Home & roadside assistance and Legal expenses Insurance 25.00 Hughes Insurance Admin 15.00 Total Annual Cost 1628.02 Total amount payable is 1790.82 And the policy says If you want to cancel the Policy after the 14-day period you must send written notice and return your Certificate of Insurance to Hughes Insurance. We will apply a pro rata charge for the period we were on cover subject to a minimum premium of 25 (plus insurance premium tax). If there has been a claim paid during the current period of insurance or a claim is outstanding there will be no refund of premium. I have no claims, i only had this insurance for a month. And as non native english speaker i don't really get the idea how much should i pay for cancellation and what kind of consequence could bother me.""

home appliances insurance quotes

home appliances insurance quotes

What is the cheapest car insurance company for Northern Ireland. I want to insure a ford focus ST-3.?

I have 1 years driving experience and 1 years NCB.

Do i have to have car insurance to get my permit in portland oregon?

So im a 14 year old girl and i turn 15 in October on the 20th and i was wondering if i really need car insurance to get my permit cause my step mom told me i do and if i do i don't see why.

Which car do you think has higher insurance?

For my first car i want either a Subaru Impreza rs 2001(gc8) or a Toyota Corolla 2007 CE. The Toyota will be new. Which one do you think will have cheaper insurance?

How much would the insurance/tax be on these cars?

Im Looking at the following cars which i are in my price range but i'd like to know how much on average the insurance would be per year for these. If you know the average tax price that would be great too :) I just want a rough estimate because every insurance quote site i go on you have to fill out alot of details about the car aswell, but i dont have one yet. Im 17, live in london,england,female and this will be my first car. Renault Clio Peugeot 206 peugeot 206 cc Vauxhall Corsa SEAT Ibiza thanks :)""

Texas Automobile Insurance?

I got hit by someone else. Their insurance is not providing total cost up front for a rental car while mine is in the shop. I was not at fault. The Insurance carrier is Farmer's Insurance. They said to pay the difference of the rental, and they would reimburse. My understanding by an insurance facilitator at my old company is that if the fault was not yours, then the insurance company has to accommodate you with full pay for the rental car for a comperable vehicle to the one that was damaged. Anyone have any knowledge of the law, and links where I can find out the info? Thank you in advance.""

What will the average insurance payment be for my BMW?

Ever since I was little I've always wanted a BMW. Well now since I'm turning 16 in the fall I have the option of getting a 2004 BMW 5 Series 545i for $9,000. It's in extremely good condition and I just love it. I will be making around $200-250 a month and my monthly payment will be about $106 to the bank till my senior year in college ( yes that's 84 months but it's in good condition so it's worth it) and I was just wondering if any one had a idea how much insurance would cost? I really want to get this car but I won't if I'm not able to pay a payment and insurance at the same time due to other small bills i have. Thanks""

Just a question about Geico's insurance rates versus their advertisements?

for as long as I can remember Geico has always used the advertisement pitch about how much money you can save with them. What I'd like to know is there some kind of communication breakdown between their marketing and pricing departments? I decided to get a Geico quote once, I was 27 years old at the time male unmarried and a spotless driving record. they quoted me like 800 dollars for 6 months!!! at the time I was using Nationwide where is was paying a hair under 500...a YEAR!!! yes this was the exact same amount of coverage/ deductible car everything. everyone else I know has had similar stories about Geico's rates. so tell me if anyone knows when the speak of 'all the money you can save' with them, just what the hell are they talking about? where do they get their facts at?""

Car Insurance 10 pts. best answer!?

What are the parties to an insurance policy. So far i've got policyholder, and underwriter what are some other ones? thanks""

""What to do, can't afford Automobile insurance 17 year old male.?

I'm 17 been driving since i was 15 i have quite a few tickets but no moving violations never once. only expired tags and stuff like that. i had insurance all when i was 16 in my name $130 a month. well i lost my job and all i moved out of my moms and on my own now and i got another job but that barely covers rent and food money. i went everywhere last few days and can't find insurance cheap. everyone tells me its $250 down and 200 a month. the cheapest i found it was $200 down and $160 a month im in Houston Tx and its a 94 mustang Gt im trying to insure. Seriously what do they expect me to do? im a 17 year old kid and they expect me to pay out the *** for insurance? how do they expect me to do that? what should i do? i got a 25 mile drive to work everyday what would u guys recommend me to do? all seriousness though i dont wanna get car impounded.

If i buy 2008 BMW M3 - how much would i have to pay for insurance?

i am 17 years old Ontraio Canada the car should come in white, alarm system, no tinted windows fair safety rating...""

What is the cheapest auto insurance for michigan?

for the most basic insurance

I have a financed car can I take my car out of circulation to stop paying insurance?

Ok, my car has been broken for like 5 or 6 months already. It hasn't been driven at all. Right now it has an expensive fix. I was waiting for my taxes to fix it but I had my identity stolen so I may not get my taxes until December, if even that soon. Anyways, long story short...it's an expensive fix, about $2000...which I don't have. I've been paying for both the car and the insurance every month with the car not even moving. I know I have to continue paying the car. I'm going to verify with my bank, but I'd prefer not to get them involved until I have some details. Is it possibly to take my car completely out of circulation by turning in the license plate and then stop paying insurance until I fix it? I assume theres no need to have insurance if the car doesn't have a tag so it can't be driven. I live in Florida, if that changes anything. Paying $280 for insurance and not driving the car makes me sick...its worse than paying the actual car and not driving it.""

Do I have to insure my son when he turns 16?

My auto insurance company called me yesterday asking for the names and birthdays of my children. I refused to tell them anything. My oldest son will turn 16 in November, and I was not planning on adding him as a driver, because we have full coverage insurance and I thought that would cover anyone.""

2003 Hummer H2 insurance cost? For 16 year old? 10 points!?

How much will the insurance cost for this car? This car is FREE for me because it's my dad's and he wants me to have it as my first car. It only has 60,000 miles on it for a almost 10 year old car. It is practically new with a tv inside and nice rims. How much will insurance be?""

What is the cheapest car insurance for a teenager and how much does it cost?

What is the cheapest car insurance for a teenager and how much does it cost?

Medical Health Insurance Florida: Family Plans?

I am looking for affordable medical health insurance plans for my family. We live in Florida.

Cheapest auto insurance?

Cheapest auto insurance?

Question About Car Insurance?

I have AAA. I have 3 vehicles, 2 in which my daughters are the drivers. One of my daughters has 2 points for prohibited turn, which raised my insurance rate. Is there anyway to get the points removed or remove her from the policy even though she would still drive?""

What makes a good car insurance company?

Besides affordable rates.

Insurance change after marriage?

i am american and i got married in canada. my husband does not have insurance and i am covered under my mothers insurance. since i got married in canada will they see here in the us that i am married or will they know and i wont be covered anymore? i have not changed my last name to my husbands. if i still keep using my mothers insurance could i get into trouble if they found out i was married?

19 year old female just passed driving test. need cheap insurance quotes. is anyone else in the same situation?

i am a 19 year old female and have just passed my driving test. i know the insurance quotes i get are going to be expensive but does anyone know who is best to go with (cheapest) and is anyone else in the same situation? Thanks

""What is the best, cheapest, online car insurance on the internet?

For FULL COVERAGE

How much life insurance should we have on each other at our age?

My husband is 27 turning 28, I am 24 turning 25. We own a home owe roughly 98,000 on it still, have two children. No credit card debt at all. (don't have any cards) Our cars are 2,000 away from being paid off so I don't think that should be figured in at all. I have 100,000 on my husband and 150,000 on me. I took more on me because he has no family here and though my family of course will help him if I passed away but I thought because I stay at home and he would have to find daycare and all he would need more. My sister said I should take out at least 2x my pay off on my house so that I could pay it off and still have 100,000 to cover financial issues until the parent left could settle in to taking care of a house hold alone. Do you agree? Should we increase our policies? I just don't know...it is hard to think of these things but I want to make sure that if one of us pass away my family will be taken care of and not have to worry about money.""

What is some cheap medical insurance?

I am 18 and I live in alabama and I really need to know what some good cheap medical insurance any suggestions?

Does a moving violation affect your insurance?

I was at a red light and quick switched lanes less than 50 feet of the intersection and turned right on a red light, but their was no traffic oncoming.... so will it affect my insurance?""

home appliances insurance quotes

home appliances insurance quotes

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